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bradshawsbitch · 2 years ago

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‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎↠ 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 - ⅲ ↞

⁘ bradley bradshaw, the notoriously ill mannered head chef at the small franchise pub down the street, is quite content with his fast paced job. no commitments or obligations outside of his kingdom of sharp knives, pots, pans, prep work and a shot of jäger after a double. that is until a new waitress is hired, and suddenly his strict and rigid rules of no obligations or commitments starts to waver. . .

› pairing; bradley bradshaw x f!reader

word count; ~ 3.9K

× chapter warnings; swearing, mentions of alcohol, crying, food mention, rude guests.

disclaimer; I am basing most of the chefs/waitresses on people I have worked with/encountered. Most of their traits will be as realistic as possible.

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“I just don’t understand why he hates me so much! I’ve only ever been nice since I started working with y’all!”

Dinner had been over for some time now, and the music was doing a subtle crescendo as more people trailed in through the doors. Wine glasses were empty and forgotten, drinks now half drunk in front of the three girls.

“Listen, don’t think on it too much, Rooster hates everyone!” Mir had to raise her voice to be heard over the music, raising a brow as she sipped on her gin and tonic.

“But he doesn’t hate you guys!” the whine to your voice was bordering pathetic, but you’d had a couple of more drinks than you were used to, and the girls had introduced you to whiskey sours - something you hadn’t tried before. Thea looked alarmed at your outburst, not due to the loudness, but to what she was picking up between the lines.

“Babe, don’t get involved with Rooster. It won’t end well, alright? Trust me.” she’d scooted closer to you, her lips against your ear as she spoke. Looking at her kind face, you thought you saw traces of hurt in there.

“I don’t… I wasn’t– I just want him to be nice to me, okay? That’s all,” deflecting seemed like a good way to go, nonchalantly shrugging your shoulders as you stirred the ice around in the hobstar glass in front of you. Thea and Mir looked at each other before they burst out laughing, and heat was starting to spread throughout your body.

“In that case, sweetheart - you’d probably be better off treating him like shit!”

“What? Like how?”

“Honey, treat him like he treats you. Cuss him out a little! Tell him he fucking sucks. Better yet, prance in and don’t spare him a glance - tell him to fuck off once in a while. Or wait, maybe don’t do that, he gets off on that,” Thea frowned and Mir howled with laughter at the disgusted facial expression Thea pulled.

“I can’t do that!” looking at the two girls, both of whom were wearing matching expressions of what could only be described as pity. “God, she’s so sweet isn’t she?” Mir grasped a shot glass and downed it in one go “I remember when I was like that.” to the uninitiated, there might be traces of bitterness in there.

“Cookie, we’re not telling you to be purposefully mean - we’re telling you to… match his energy, yeah? You don’t deserve the shit he’s been pulling. So, throw it back at him, let him know you won’t stand for it.” Thea smiled at you, putting her hand over yours. It felt good to know that they had noticed how Bradley was treating you, and to hear her say you didn’t deserve it felt like a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders.

“Yeah! You’re doing way better than I did when I first started–” Mir fell into a long winded tale of how she’d during one singular shift, managed to drop an entire tray of glasses, shattering them in the middle of the dining hall - and managed to fall into the laps of three guests with dessert plates still in her hands.

Thea and you were leaning against one another, giggling and laughing so hard you had to wipe tears from your faces as Mir grinned at you. “They had to help me up too!”

“Oh, god I remember that day - it was hilarious,” Thea hooted loudly, straightening up only to down another shot.

As the sun rose, the soft rays managed to sneak into your bedroom through half closed drapes. There were clothes strewn all over the floor, and right below the bed sat a bucket, along with a large bottle of water. Apparently drunk you had decided to be kind to hungover you. A groan slipped past parted lips, a wave of nausea hitting as your body stirred awake.

Scrambling for your phone, you noticed some missed calls and one singular text message.

Bradley 🖕: Can you come in today? Mir is sick.

Groaning, you flopped down on to your pillows again. You really did not feel like coming in today, but you always said yes when Bradley asked. When anyone asked for that matter.

You knew how hard it was to be understaffed, and how the servers had to haul ass to make sure everything worked. Although, just as you were about to reply, you could almost hear Thea’s voice in your ear, like a little guardian devil on your shoulder. Smirking to yourself, you typed in your reply, throwing your phone away as you hit send.

Bradley had asked you to come in today, he’d actually texted only you, because he knew you’d say yes. What’s the point in bothering the other servers if he had a done deal already? He was prepping when Jake walked into the kitchens, nodding at him as he fell in line with the head chef.

“So when’s Cookie comin’ in?” Jake asked, stowing away some garlic butter into a large fridge.

Bradley snorted, amused, before he pulled out his phone again to text you a time you should show up. At your text, he stopped in his tracks, eyebrows shot up. He stared intently at your text, and Jake came up behind him to read.

New Waitress: No.

Jake’s loud laughter echoed through the kitchen, slapping Roosters back as he cried something about ‘bad luck, chef’. What the fuck did she mean ‘no’? Rooster thought to himself. And where the fuck were the usual happy emojis, or sad emojis when you offered him a drawn out explanation as to why you couldn’t come in to work (‘I’m so sorry, chef, it’s my mother’s birthday today so I can’t make it in - but if you really need someone I guess—’)?

Bradley 🖕 : What the fuck do you mean ‘no’?

He really couldn’t help himself, he had to know why you couldn’t come in to work today, even though he knew he wasn’t entitled to knowing.

New Waitress: The fuck you think it means? No, I can’t come into work today. Ask Angie.

“What the fuck…” Rooster reached up to rub at his chin, eyebrows scrunched together as he stared at his screen so hard he thought it would crack. Looking up at Jake’s gleeful expression, he was so damn shocked he let out a loud laugh “Alright then, Bambi… fuckin’ enjoy your day off then,” he grumbled, shaking his head before his fingers swiftly moved across the screen. Shoving his phone into Jake’s hands, he continued working, as his sous chef bugged him about what your text said.

“You named her contact ‘Bambi’? Thought you only had the servers as ‘annoying waitress #1’ or ‘slow server #3’” Jake tossed the phone back to an amused Bradley, who caught it swiftly.

“Get back to work, dumbass.”

Jake studied Bradley closely, and it made the taller and slightly burlier man squirm just a little. “You sweet on Cookie or something?” Bradley gave Jake a scathing look. He of all people should know better than to bring this up right now.

“Seresin. Chop the fucking onions before I put you on pastry today.”

“Yes, chef. Damn, it’s like I told you I’d committed arson or some shit… and what is the deal with making me work the window huh? Am I just gonna plate forever now?” Jake had started chopping the onions swiftly, the rhythmic thud of his knife just a tad harsher than it usually was.

“I’ll take the window tonight, don’t need to get pissy about it.” Jake narrowed his eyes at him “Oh, don’t fucking start with me Seresin!” Bradley groaned out loud.

“So tonight you’ll take the window. What about tomorrow?” Bradley was silent. He knew you were scheduled to work tomorrow night.

“I’ll tell you about the stations tomorrow. Same as every day. Now fucking get to work!”

Sitting cross-legged in front of your floor length mirror, you contemplated the implications of what you were currently up to. Make-up brush still in hand, you looked at yourself. You’d gone through various outfits, done up your hair a little extra, and made sure to wear something that would accentuate your curves.

Fluttering anticipation rolled in your stomach, and you were itching to show up just a little early to work. You knew some of the other waitresses did, sat at the bar and chatted, or hung by the window in the kitchens to get a run-down on the night ahead.

Today you’d decided to wholeheartedly take Thea and Mir’s advice to heart. You wouldn’t let Bradley shout at you from the grill. You would treat him as he treated you. Giving yourself a little pep-talk as you drove to the restaurant, the mantra ‘respect is an earned gift, not something you demand’ repeated itself in your mind, making your spine straighten before you entered your workplace.

Sauntering into the kitchens, you said hi to Mickey with a warm smile before Jake’s loud voice rang out as he and Bradley entered from the storage rooms. “Damn, Cookie! Looking to get that sweet tip today?” he smirked, shamelessly letting his eyes roll over your form as he - to your great surprise - started prepping his station at the grill. Rolling your eyes, you let your own smirk flash briefly before deciding to start your resolution out softly, you knew Jake could take it;

“Oh, fuck off, Seresin!” Bradley, who was now stood almost opposite of you at the window, putting a fresh roll of paper into the ticket machine, stopped in his movements as surprise filled his brown eyes.

“Fuck, Flounder - when did you get such a dirty little mouth?” his voice was bordering condescending, and whilst it still had a tinge of surprise, it annoyed you how his sentence seemed to make your body react in ways you hadn’t fully allowed it to.

“Hm, I don’t know, Bradley - it must’ve been somewhere around the time I started blowing your dad!”

You had never heard silence quite that loud before, Bradley’s jaw swung open in shock, Jake dropped his pincer on the floor, and you could hear Thea behind you choking out a silent ‘oh my god’.

Shrugging, you turned on your heel to exit the kitchens, and as you neared the door you heard howls of laughter from Jake, then Mickey’s soft snickers - and a sound that shook you to your core - Bradley’s surprised laughter mixing with the other two chefs.

Sneaking a glance over your shoulder, you saw Jake wipe at his eyes as he looked to the ceiling and said “Man, Mr. Bradshaw, I’m sorry but your son just got obliterated!” involuntarily, your eyes found soulful brown, and you saw they were filled with mirth - as well as that same fire you’d seen on your first shift. His crooked smile forced you to turn your gaze forward, not wanting him to see the way it affected you as your breath hitched slightly.

As the door swung shut behind you, you let out a shuddering breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. Thea’s laughter rang through the upper parts of the restaurant, and Mir came running as if it was a call to arms. “What happened?” her voice was sharp, eyes flitting between you and Thea, who was currently crouching down from laughing so hard.

Re-telling the story, you tried to sound as if it was not the biggest deal in the world - but the way Mir’s eyes widened at the end you could tell it was. “Oh, lord - I hope he’s okay,” the sympathy and worry in her voice did not match the energy she’d had during your night out.

“You know his dad died when he was like four, right?”

Mortification filled your every pore, and you suddenly felt dizzy as you exclaimed ‘oh my god!’ so breathlessly you thought Thea would suffer from hypoxia from laughing so hard. “What do I do?” your distressed whine made Mir chuckle softly “Depends. How did he react?”

“He was laughing!” God, your head was spinning so fast. “Well, then I think he’ll be fine. He’s a big boy - don’t worry about it.”

“You can’t drop a bomb like that on me and not expect me to stress about it for the rest of the night!”

Working with Bradley in the window was vastly different than working with Jake, you noticed. Watching him, you could tell this was his element. He was good on the grill too, of course, but you truly saw him shine this evening - the timing and overall communication flowed differently than when Jake plated. Perhaps it was because Jake sometimes chit-chatted with the servers, sometimes occasionally stilling to do so. Rooster was constantly moving, it was weird, but his movements looked so fluid - brows furrowed in concentration, eyes never truly leaving the plates whilst he talked.

The first time you had to ask about allergies, you thought he’d yell at you, but the low grumble of “Bambi, onion allergies are extremely rare. If the guest is truly allergic, there is not much they can eat off the menu.” he sighed, turning to fetch a small napkin to wipe off the edges, noticing they were all gone “Fetch me some more will you?” he barely glanced at you, yet you were so shocked you scampered away to fetch more.

“Ask if they’re allergic or if they don’t want onion. If they say they’re truly allergic tell them they’ll have to do without sauce, and that I’ll have to fix up another side than the terrine.” you could only nod before rushing to your table to relay what Bradley had informed you about. It turned out the guest just wasn’t too keen on onions, and you rushed back to tell Rooster.

“Alright, great. Fuckin’-- don’t say you’re allergic…” Bradley grumbled sourly as he searched for the ticket, pulling it down and placing it in front of you before moving again. “Jot down minus onion, Flounder?”

After that encounter that had momentarily lifted your spirits, everything turned to shit very quick. You’d yet to have a shift truly go down the shitter, but when Angie placed another sixer on your station you felt close to tears. She’d seated a four, a three, and a two just minutes earlier, and you were struggling to keep up.

Some of the tables wanted drinks to their entrees, and the bartender was backed up with orders. Trying to keep everything in check, you attempted to take three orders consecutively - which resulted in one table's food not getting put in properly - because you had rushed away, forgetting to click on ‘enter’. The waitress who used the computer after you had apparently just clicked it away.

Rooster wasn’t happy. He didn’t yell this time, but you could tell by his overall demeanor he was annoyed. Could feel it in the way his body language was tense, his jaw clenched, and the way he sharply talked almost passive aggressively over your head to relay your mistake to the other chefs so they could bump the food.

To your great misfortune, through this whole mess that you’d had to run around to fix, Angie had seated two new tables for you. Biting your cheek, you moved to a table you unfortunately hadn’t had the time to get to in quite a bit. Which proved to be your last straw this evening.

The elderly man yelled so forcefully you could feel spit particles hitting you, calling you the most demeaning names, saying you were incompetent and obviously lacked intelligence - seeing as you were only a waitress. Furthermore he wanted to speak to someone else, preferably a male server he’d said, because he could tell you clearly lacked the most basic knowledge needed for this, and to perhaps look for another job while you were at it.

Tears welled in your eyes as you searched for Thea. She was swamped too, but relayed she had it under control when you asked to see her for a moment in the storage room by the bar. Voice shaking slightly, you told her what happened - and how Angie had kept seating you even though you’d told her to please slow down. When you got to relaying what the man had said, you were surprised to find yourself bursting into tears. Your hands were shaking, and suddenly you felt a little light-headed.

“Cookie, when’s the last time you ate or drank anything sweetheart?” ever since the shift had started, it’d just rolled on. There had been no time to take breaks, no time for a sip of water or Pepsi, definitely no food - barely enough time to breathe it felt like.

“Probably breakfast…” you hiccuped, angrily wiping at the tears that wouldn’t stop falling endlessly down your cheeks.

“Oh, honey…” Thea looked at you with sympathy. Unfortunately this was common with new servers, they often forgot themselves. “I’ll have Mir and Angie look over your tables, you need a break.”

“No! Table 30 just got their entrees and I have to forward it soon, and 33 just got their entrees which means they need their wine and–” you were working yourself up even more, breathing fast, eyes slightly wild as tears continued to leak out of you.

“No, hey. Come on, sweets, let’s go for a break.” Thea wouldn’t take no for an answer as she started to lead you to the only chair available for staff in the entire downstairs part of the restaurant. She led you through the kitchens towards the back, where a small office for ordering supplies was located, along with an office chair.

Bradley’s head shot up as he heard your small sniffles and protests, Thea shushing you softly as they passed by. Jake looked worried, and Mickey bit his lip to keep from calling after you. You’d looked overwhelmed as it was.

“Mickey, plate up some ice cream would you, and then cover the window for me for a few minutes?” Rooster was already moving before the end of his sentence was done, and he heard a faint ‘yes, chef’ from Mickey as he rounded on his station to scoop up some ice cream into a small bowl. Walking briskly, Bradley went out of the kitchen towards the bar, filling two glasses before hurrying back.

“Bradley, not no–” Thea’s eyes widened in surprise as Bradley’s large form entered the small office space. “Go back to your station, I’ve got it.” his voice was hushed, and Thea only nodded, knowing she’d been away too long. As she left, she grabbed onto Rooster’s bicep, leveling him with a stern look. He nodded. He knew what she meant.

“Hey, Flounder - having a rough go at it today?” Bradley gently placed a bowl of ice cream in front of your trembling form, before putting down one glass of water, and one glass of Fanta - that he’d managed to carry in one hand.

“I don’t like it when you call me Flounder,” you confessed tearily, sad eyes meeting brown. Bradley nodded. “Should I stop calling you Bambi too?” his voice was still gruff, but there was a hint of softness to it all that soothed you. You shook your head slowly, and Bradley nodded again.

Trembling hands reached for the spoon that laid neatly in the bowl, and you slowly took a spoonful of it - letting out a shaky breath as you did so “Atta girl… forgot to eat today, did you?” Bradley almost sounded reprimanding, and you nodded, averting your gaze as a fresh set of tears burned in your eyes.

Bradley knelt before you, large hand resting on the edge of the wooden table you were sat at to keep his balance. He searched your face in silence for a moment.

"So... you're blowing my dad, huh?" Bradley tried to joke, that small lopsided smile quirking the corners of his lips. You were so surprised, you hiccuped a small laugh between tears before shaking your head "I'm so sorry, Bradley. Mir told me..." Bradley just shook his head "Was pretty funny. Should've heard Jake, hasn't stopped going on about it the whole shift." Rooster rolled his eyes before silence settled for a moment between you two.

“Wanna tell me what happened, Bambs?” looking into his eyes, you suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to do so, and as tears once again rolled down your cheeks, you re-counted the vile shift you’d had, along with the guests cruel words, small sobs mixing into your story. You’d never been yelled at like that before by a stranger, never had your very existence and intelligence completely disrespected in that way. Not even Bradley went that far, and his yelling wasn’t like the other mans. The other man’s yelling was filled with hatred and utter disdain.

“Hold on, Bambi - he said that to you?” Bradley held up a hand and you stopped talking, nodding “and Angie kept over-seating you?” Bradley knew that Angie was sometimes a little mean to the new servers. Said she wanted to toughen them up. That logic just fucked over everyone though, and he’d told her so multiple times. Rooster was angry. More angry than he thought he’d be.

“Has the table gotten their food?” you weren’t quite sure where Bradley was going with this, but he didn’t look particularly happy. “No, they’ve just finished their entrees.”

“Good. They won’t be getting them.” your eyes widened as he stood to his full height. “Nobody treats my staff that way. It’s unacceptable. Personal attacks are never okay in my restaurant.” he paused, looking at the drying tears on your face. “You stay here, when I get back I want half of that Fanta to be gone, okay?” he sounded stern again, but there was a hint of teasing in those brown eyes of his before he walked away.

Rooster could barely contain the absolute rage he felt, it rumbled and churned so deep in his chest it almost frightened him. As he approached the kitchen, he asked if they were holding up alright.

“Yeah, sure, things’ve slowed down anyways. What’s up with Cookie?” Mickey asked, sounding concerned. Bradley sighed deeply “Some fucker yelled at her out there, called her some vile things. We’re not serving them, it’s not okay to treat our waiters like that.” he shook his head, sighing. Jake nodded in agreement “Want me come with you? I’ll flex.” Jake looked eager “I could bring a pan too!”

“Let’s not catch a case, Seresin…” Bradley chuckled lightly before walking towards the table, shoulders set - and the best menacing look overcoming his usually handsome features.

Back in the office, your heart rate had just settled when Mickey’s sweet face popped in. “Hey, how you feelin’?” his voice was soft and sweet, and it made a teary smile appear on your face as you whispered you were okay.

“You looked a lil’ hungry,” he stated simply with a smile, before handing you a plate filled with garlic bread, aioli, a small piece of steak done medium and a terrine.

“Thanks, Mickey. For the ice cream too,” Mickey just shrugged “That was all Rooster.”

Before you could ask what he meant by that, he was gone back in the kitchen, and you could hear him joke around with Jake again in no time. Furrowing your brows, you looked at the now empty bowl of ice cream to your left.

Bradley’s actions today puzzled you. Perhaps even more so because Bradley never did come back to check that you’d drunk your Fanta and he didn’t say another word to you that night - but still at the end of the shift, all that was left on the desk was an empty glass.

next chapter

yeeeehaw!! struggled a bit writing this, sorry for the wait! how are we feeling? thoughts? and also, is there anything in particular you readers would like to see later on in the series? I wanna know if there's anything that you guys would love to see, and it'd be cool to be able to fit it in!

also, do we want me to tell you at the end which anecdotes are genuine? in this chapter, all anecdotes have happened to me! yep, fell down into three men's lap. not as cozy as it sounds with desserts in hand! and the bartender and restaurant manager laughed... sigh!

some of you it won't work to tag?

@dhwanishah09 @keyrani @phreya @roosterforme @bradshawbabe @gretagerwigsmuse @up-thereinthesky @becks-things @gracelovesteller @roostersrooster @lt-bradshaw @galaxy-moon @mak-32 @diorrfairy @cottagecori @lt-spork

#bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x you #bradley rooster bradshaw x you #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw imagine #rooster x you #rooster x reader #my writing

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daddy-deathslinger · 2 years ago

Note

could i request deathslinger helping a male s/o through a depressive episode? if not, thats okay! thank you anyways :)

Hi there! I’m sorry this has been taking me a while to write, but I hope you’re happy with what I came up with. Thanks so much for the request and have a nice day! ❤

"You're my everything" - Caleb Quinn/The Deathslinger x Male S/O

CW; Depression, alcohol

The snowstorm didn’t seem to ever want to calm down. The howling wind made the cabin squeal and moan, and the sounds alone made your body tense up. Luckily, Caleb and the boys had gotten a fire started in the fireplace and soon the whole cabin bathed in the warm light from the flames. It could almost be a bit cosy, if it hadn’t been for your mood dropping suddenly. It did that alot these days, and today was no exception, even though it was Christmas eve and all. You hadn’t been feeling like yourself lately. You had been very tired, even though you got enough sleep, and you’d felt like nothing mattered or brought you joy, even though you were part of one of America’s most famous bounty hunter gangs. Not to mention you were courting the leader, Caleb Quinn. You loved Caleb more than anything else in this world, and spending Christmas together with him was amazing. And yet, you didn’t feel amazed at all.

“Well, certainly not the Christmas eve I was expecting, but who am I to complain?”

O’Sullivan sat down at the fireplace and got out a bottle of gin from his coat.

“Happy Christmas, y’all!” he continued, taking a sip from the bottle.

The five of you had been trekking in the mountains, hunting an especially difficult bounty, when the snowstorm had taken over. Luckily, you had found an abandoned cabin and taken shelter there. Now the fire was rumbling in the fireplace, the boys were sitting down and getting out their whiskey and gin, and you and Caleb sat down a bit away from the group.

“How you feelin’?” Caleb asked.

“Fine”, you lied, but you knew Caleb could read you like an open book these days.

“Wondering what the other boys are up to tonight”, Murphy said, handing his bottle of whiskey to Byrne.

“Probably getting cosy in a pub or some whorehouse in town!” O’Sullivan laughed. “They better not be taking a day off just because it’s Christmas, we sure weren’t planning to.”

“I knew we shouldn’t have split up, leaving them to enjoy the comfort of a town while we’re out here in the cold”, Byrne muttered.

“Hey now, this is a cosy Christmas eve I’d say! And the company could be a lot worse”, O’Sullivan said, getting a “cheers” from Murphy.

You looked at the happy men, envying them a bit. Sometimes you felt like Caleb deserved someone else than you, someone that didn’t let their mood drop this easily.

“Hey…” Caleb whispered, as if he had been reading your thoughts. “What’s the matter?”

You sighed, not looking at him, and scratched your stubble.

“I don’t know, I really don’t… It’s just… Not good”, you mumbled, and Caleb grunted to let you know he listened.

“You cold? Hungry?”

You shook your head, letting out another sigh. You could feel Caleb searching for something in his coat pocket, and when you looked over he held a bottle of Cactus Wine in his hand. You smiled at Caleb as he gave you a questioning look.

“Want some?”

Again, you shook your head.

“Not feelin’ it.”

Caleb nodded and took a swig of the mix of tequila and peyote tea, then put away the bottle again.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked, and you noticed his voice got a bit more careful.

It almost made you smile. Caleb Quinn, wanting to talk about feelings. It was really heartwarming to know that he cared so deeply about you.

“I don’t know, I just feel… off”, you said. “There’s no colour, there’s no warmth, there’s nothing, just… nothing… ”

Your voice trailed off, but Caleb nodded. He cleared his throat quietly.

“You feel like everything. To me, atleast.”

At those words, you felt your heart ache with affection towards the man. You let out a sigh and blinked a few times so as to not start crying. “I know I’m not the best with words but I truly feel like you’re my everything”, Caleb said, and you could feel his eyes on you.

You didn’t look at him, you just stared into the nothingness, not even listening to the boys chattering by the fire. Caleb and you sat like this for a while. You didn’t feel anything, no joy, no sadness. Not even love towards the man sitting next to you, even though you usually felt that in your whole being. You were a terrible partner, a fraud, a-

“Hey”, Caleb quietly whispered, and you could hear him searching for something in his coat pocket again.

You looked at him, and this time he pulled out… a tiny package. He gave it to you without a word, and you just looked at it in shock. It was very badly wrapped in newspaper, he must have wrapped it himself.

“Merry Christmas, darlin’”, he whispered, and you couldn’t help the tears forming in your eyes.

“Caleb, I… I didn’t get you anything, I thought we weren’t-”

“It’s okay, love”, Caleb chuckled. “I want you to have this.”

You blinked a couple of times, staring at Caleb and back to the tiny package in your hand.

With trembling hands, you quickly opened the wrapping, revealing a golden wrist watch. You stared down at the watch, not believing your eyes.

“Caleb, this… It must have cost a fortune!”

Caleb shrugged and said: “I always give you gifts I’ve looted from someone, I wanted to actually buy you a present this year.”

You wiped your teary eyes, and suddenly your heart couldn’t take all the pain anymore. You rose up from the bench, clenching the watch in your hand.

“Caleb, you don’t deserve any of this”, you said, your voice trembling. “You deserve to be with someone who’s not… who’s not me. I don’t deserve you, and we both know you’d be better off with someone else.”

Caleb blinked in confusion, staring up at you.

“Darlin’, what on earth are ya-”

“I’m a miserable piece of shit, Caleb, and you know it. I-I can’t control my mood and I don’t want you being around a sad lump like me!”

Your whole body trembled at this point, the tears welling in your eyes. You angrily wiped them away, looking away from Caleb. The men at the fireplace had quieted down a bit, but you could hear them murmuring to each other as to not disturb you and Caleb. You angrily stared into the corner of the cabin, refusing to look at Caleb. If it must be like this, so be it. If he had to leave you, so be it. You knew you’d be even sadder without Caleb in your life, but at least you wouldn’t burden him with your mood swings. Suddenly, you heard Caleb clearing his throat.

“Hey”, he said, and you glanced over at him. “Come here.”

“Huh?”

You furrowed your eyebrows questioningly.

“Just come here, please,” Caleb said, gesturing for you to approach him.

He had gotten up from the bench as well, and had his arm outstretched towards you. You had no idea what he was planning, and you must admit you were a bit curious. So you carefully walked over to him, and talk about your surprise as the leader of the Hellshire gang pulled you in for a warm, strong hug. You were perplexed to say the least, Caleb never really initiated hugs. And especially not amongst other people. Sure, he was kind and loving to you, but he didn’t seem to be the type to enjoy cuddling and such. You’d always thought that was just the way he was, not the “I-need-to-be-close-to-you-now-type”, but being in his embrace now felt just right. Being in his embrace seemed to melt away all your worries and your anxiety, and suddenly you could feel the love towards him again. You hugged him back, inhaling his scent and closing your eyes.

“I love you. Don’t ever think I want someone else than you”, he whispered, and you buried your face into his coat.

“I love you too”, you murmured.

“And if you ever feel sad, do feel sad. I’ll be here for ya, and I’ll be here when it’s over.”

Your throat clenched at Caleb’s words, and you released a trembling sigh. Looking up at him, still in his warm embrace, you finally felt at ease.

“I love you, Caleb.”

#dead by daylight #dbd fanfic #the deathslinger #the deathslinger x reader #caleb quinn #caleb quinn x reader

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ancientwastedlores · 4 years ago

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I Was Your Favourite (Pt. 2)

REQUEST: Could you do a part 2 of the Loki x reader fic where he cheats on her, maybe she gets with someone else and he’s jealous.

A/N: Thought about doing this for a while! ALSO hi, I started going for therapy, which has been great. I’ve only done 2 sessions, but if I get more gems from the session, I might even share some with y’all. Anyway, enjoy the fic! BTW let me know if you want to be tagged when I upload new fics :)

PART I HERE

WARNINGS: Cheating, angst

WORD COUNT: 1100

____________________________________________________________________

I Was Your Favourite (Pt. 2)

Your new apartment is a world away from Avengers Tower; a stark departure from the reds and whites of the common rooms, and your very minimal black and white decor in your bedroom.

Given the chance to explore your creative side without Tony’s input, you did an excellent job.

Sometimes you do wish you could show Loki. Sometimes you wish you could share this space with him.

But for the most part, you have moved on. You met a nice guy in the city. A normal guy with a normal job. He’s got dark curls and brown eyes, he’s quite silly sometimes and he treats you well.

You find yourself laughing again. It’s the happiest you’ve ever been, even if you’re on edge that the same thing will happen again.

Nobody said it would be easy, but you’re trying to take it one day at a time.

You introduced him to your family in the Tower and they loved him. He was no genius billionaire, nor was he a fighter, but he was delightfully fun and got along with everyone.

And it ate at Loki.

Whether it was Jacob’s quick acceptance into the family or the fact that you were happy, you didn’t know. But Loki certainly wasn’t happy, and you knew it. You didn’t intend to hurt him, but you didn’t want to be hung up either.

‘When’s Jacob visiting again?’ Tony asks while at his desk. ‘This is a workplace, Tony’ you laugh, ‘He can’t just pop by’. ‘No, I was asking for... for Loki. So we can prepare him’. ‘Prepare him?’

Tony looks like he just spilled something incredibly private.

‘Um... ignore I said that?’ he asks, but of course you won’t. ‘What’s going on, Stark?’

He sighs.

‘We’re just sort of... consoling the guy. He broke up with Maria and he’s been miserable, we just don’t want it to affect our missions’. ‘He’s a grown man... a god. He can take care of himself, you don’t need to walk on eggshells around him’. ‘Easy for you to say, Y/N, you don’t live here anymore’.

You keep quiet. He’s right, you have no way of knowing the chaos you left behind.

‘Then... I’m sorry. Thank you for taking care of him’ you say. ‘Yeah, no worries. We all like Jacob, and we’re happy for you’. ‘Thank you. Me too’ you say fondly.

‘So... when?’ he asks after a minute. You smile at him. ‘He’s dying to come for Stark Expo. But only because Elon Musk will be there’.

Tony puts a hand on his heart and acts like he has been shot, and you laugh.

‘LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...... TONY STARK!’

Fireworks, flares, AC/DC blaring on the speakers... all of it accompanies Tony’s grand entrance on his custom red and gold Audi.

Jacob howls at the top of his lungs and wraps his big arms around you.

‘Enjoying yourself?’ you ask him as he hugs you. ‘Am I ever! I can’t believe you work here, thank you for bringing me’.

He kisses you and you laugh against his lips. And then, from the corner of your eye, you spot Loki. Your eyes meet.

His black suit hangs a bit loosely on his frame, suggesting he has lost weight. Not a good thing for Loki. Not a good thing for an Avenger. But you only notice this because you know him. To anybody else, he’s as handsome as ever.

You smile at him, partly from politeness, and partly as an apology. Not that you have anything to apologize for, but it comes to you without thinking.

Loki bows his head and ducks out of the crowd as Tony ticks off the latest inventions from Stark Industries.

‘These new sensors basically mean you can sit back in your car and watch a movie or eat a buffet breakfast, and the car will drive itself. So I guess you can now get drunk on your road trips’.

The crowd laughs, but Elon Musk doesn’t look very impressed. Jacob points this out to you and you chuckle politely, Loki still on your mind.

The best part of Stark Expos: the after parties.

Everyone is decked out in their finest gowns and tuxes. Jacob looks great, and he’s mingling well with Natasha, Steve, and Bucky. Tony is doing his rounds with Pepper. Every one else is scarfing down the food like their life depends on it.

You sit at the bar by yourself and watch as Jacob cracks up Captain America. He’s always the life of the party anyway, and you prefer to sit back.

As you watch him, a tall figure sits beside you. A familiar voice says, ‘Gin and tonic, please’.

You turn to see Loki. This is the closest you have been in a year.

‘Hello’ he says, his voice hollow. ‘Hi’.

He looks at Jacob entertaining a crowd with his stories. ‘How are you two?’ ‘Fine. Good. And... how are you?’

He smiles at his lap. Once his drink is ready he takes it and stands up.

‘I’m sorry, Y/N. I know you’re with him but... I have to say my piece’. ‘Loki...’ ‘Allow me this, Y/N. I don’t deserve it, but allow me this’.

You purse your lips. He takes his cue.

‘We’ve been apart a year, and... I know he makes you happier. I know I hurt you. I wish I could go back in time and... we do have Avengers who can manage that... but it doesn’t change that what I did was wrong.

You were the best thing that happened to me, you got me accepted into this family. You deserved better, and I... I guess you have that now. I am willing to do better, I just want you to know that. I’m not asking for a chance, I just... I don’t know what I’m asking. Just know I’m open to making amends’.

You look at him, not knowing what to say. You really are happy with Jacob, and can’t break his heart... but part of your heart is being tugged by Loki’s.

‘Don’t say anything...’ Loki interrupts your thoughts. ‘I don’t want to put you in an impossible position. Just... I love you. If it’s him you want, I will leave forever. I’ll go to Asgard, you can feel comfortable with the Avengers-’

‘You don’t have to leave...’

He smiles at you. ‘My darling... it’s not for you, it’s for me’.

You feel physical pain in your chest and you take a deep breath. His words sit on you like a freight train and while he’s trying his best to unburden you, it isn’t working.

‘Thank you, Loki’ you say.

He bows his head slightly, then leaves. As he walks away, you see Jacob looking at you. You wave at him and he mouths “are you okay?”

You nod, but he still walks over.

‘Wanna go out for ice cream?’ ‘Yes please’.

_______________________________________

Hope you enjoyed it <3

MASTERLIST HERE

ASK BOX OPEN FOR FIC REQUESTS. Find GUIDELINES HERE.

#Loki Angst #loki x you #Loki x reader #tom hiddleston #avengers tower #angst #taylor swift inspired #tom hiddleston x you #marvel fan fiction #loki fanfic #loki fandom #loki fic

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thecloserkin · 5 years ago

Text

book review: Meg Rosoff, How I Live Now (2004)

Genre: Young Adult

Is it the main pairing: yes

Is it canon: yes

Is it explicit: no

Is it endgame: yes

Is it shippable: yes

Bottom line: It finally happened, I broke my own “no cousincest—in this house we turn the TABOO dial up to eleven” rule. In my defense this book is gobsmackingly good.

Lately I’ve been mulling on the difference between books about teenagers and books for teenagers. This one is the former, and a joy to reread as an adult. Our American heroine Daisy is sent across the pond to live with her British cousins; a war breaks out; details are scant but who cares about the war, she starts fucking one of the cousins. She describes it as “falling into sexual and emotional thrall” she said THRALL I am living for it. On a scale from “pure” to “problematic” this ship is almost all light and no darkness—what darkness menaces our protagonists emanates from outside the charmed circle of their big ol’ farmhouse and their sheepdogs and their goat:

The real truth is that the war didn’t have much to do with it except that it provided a perfect limbo in which two people who were too young and too related could start kissing without anything or anyone making us stop. There were no parents, no teachers, no schedules. There was no where to go and nothing to do that would remind us that this sort of thing didn’t happen in the Real World. There no longer was any Real World.

The notion of carving out an idyll where you & the object of your desire spend all day doing nothing but drink each other up? It’s attractive even for those of us conducting mundane relationships in the “real” world. Maybe especially for those of us in the real world, where we compartmentalize our relationships and no one person can fill every filament in our universe. Daisy’s cousins live a cloistered life in the countryside and within a week she’s saying stuff like “I felt like I’d belonged to this house for centuries.” Which is an awfully dramatic way of saying she never felt like she belonged in New York. She doesn’t just fall for Cousin Edmond; she falls for the whole telepathic dog-whispering cousinly clan and their big anarchist energy. When Daisy, an only child, says “I had about as much experience with sex and boyfriends as I did with brothers and sisters,” she is intentionally conflating romantic and familial relationships and I am 1000% here for it. Sure it’s technically cousincest but it feels claustrophobic and codependent and everything I want out of an incest ship.

Every step of Daisy’s obsessive infatuation is chronicled with agonizing tenderness:

I wondered if that’s the feeling you’re supposed to have when your cousin touches a totally innocent part of your anatomy that’s fully clothed.

that’s right it’s the thought and the intention and the pining behind the touch, not the bare fact of physical contact.

Things were so intense I was sure that other people could hear the hum coming off of us.

Imagine desire rising like mist from the surface of one’s skin. And the “other people” part of the equation is important, because it’s the sneaking around behind the other kids’ backs that gives urgency to their coupling:

we started sleeping most of the daylight hours so we could be awake at night when everyone else was in bed … Then we would sleep for a little while and eventually reappear and try to act normal

But what is “normal”? There are no adults and no rules; nothing is forbidden save that they themselves deem it so. What then explains Daisy’s conviction that this is “not a good idea”? Why shroud their affair in secrecy if the most powerful reaction they provoke from smol!cousin who learns about Daisy/Edmond is “Well I’m glad you love him because I do too”? That’s pretty anticlimactic given the lengths Daisy & Edmond have gone to be stealthy. It also emphasizes (in case we’ve forgotten that Daisy has both no siblings and no boyfriends) how romantic & familial attachments spring from a common source. I think what the text is getting at here is that it’s dangerous to put all your eggs in one basket the way Daisy puts all hers in Edmond. It’s dangerous and unhealthy to make one person your whole world, as we see later when Daisy comes to much grief. At no point, however, does she regret her decision.

we could try and try to get enough of each other but it was llike some witch’s curse where the more we tried to stop being hungry the more starving we got.

That’s a hard-hitting simile right there. The thing about curses in fairy tales is they don’t always do what they’re designed to do; frequently they accomplish different ends entirely. If we look at what Daisy’s insatiable hunger for Edmond is displacing we note that Daisy is no stranger to the feeling of constant, gnawing, unsatiated hunger because Daisy has an eating disorder. In her own words:

at first not wanting to get poisoned by my stepmother and how much it annoyed her and how after a while I discovered I liked the feeling of being hungry and the fact that it drove everyone stark raving mad and cost my father a fortune in shrinks and also it was something I was good at.

…which is just about the world’s most cogent account of eating disorders as quests for control & autonomy. By the end of the novel she no longer experiences hunger as “a punishment or a crime or a weapon or a mode of self-destruction” and that's something, anyway.

Y’all know I’m a big skimmer right? I mention this because I want you to take my full meaning when I say I read every single word of this (very short) novel. The syntax helped—most sentences are structured like so: “… and …. and … and then …” but it was engrossing af and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone use Ironic Capitalization to such devastating effect. The stylistic choice to use zero dialogue brackets means Daisy’s thoughts and Edmond’s thoughts (Edmond’s a telepath) and external action and internal commentary all run together. I didn’t find this confusing btw I just found it extremely effective.

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

Daisy and Edmond are separated at about the one-third mark and she spends the remainder of the book trying to get back to him, traversing a war-torn countryside with Edmond’s smol!sister and his dog in tow (since Daisy is a city girl who can’t even read a compass, maybe it’s more accurate to say smol!cousin + dog have Daisy in tow):

I guess the difference between Gin and me is that when Gin got shut in the barn she thought Edmond didn’t love her anymore but because I could feel Edmond out there somewhere always loving me I didn’t have to howl all night.

The parallel between Edmond’s girl and Edmond’s dog is not an idle one. There’s consistent strain of anticapitalist sentiment that runs through this book, that comes out most strongly in the relationships between Daisy’s cousins and their animals. Some military junta appropriates the farmhouse and displaces Daisy, her cousins, and the menagerie of animals that depend on them—that’s how Edmond and Daisy become separated, they’re “relocated.” The army is hierarchal and in wartime, the army is in charge. By contrast, Daisy’s cousins model a nonhierarchical kind of relationship with their animals, a relationship based on reciprocal obligations rather than dominating other people. “At times,” professes Daisy, “I thought I was more animal than human.” In other words, human beings live under an absolutely barbaric system, and it’s often more “humane” to behave like animals. It’s Edmond’s sheepdog who proves key to Daisy’s successful escape. City girl Daisy still can’t wrap her head around it:

one of the things I most dislike about nature, namely that the rules are not at all precise. Like when Piper says I’m pretty sure that mushrooms aren’t poisonous.

But nature’s strength lies precisely in the fuzziness of its rules! It encourages interdependence & reliance on others, rather than trying to go it alone as an atomized individual. So surviving on the run actually forces one to prioritize community (however you define it) over individual, which has salutary effects on Daisy, who reports “Somewhere along the way I’d lost the will not to eat.” She’s defeated her eating disorder, that’s good news. Unfortunately, Edmond and Daisy are not even reunited before she’s expelled from England and shipped back to America for Reasons. Dw she comes back! As soon as the borders reopen she comes back:

The soldier had stamped my passport FAMILY in heavy black capital letters and I checked it now for reassurance because I liked how fierce the word looked.

Very powerful passage but now for the ending. Let’s not talk about that ending. I don’t know why I called this a good book I am still incredulous we got THAT ending after everything we went through brb I’m suing Meg Rosoff for emotional damages

#book review #how i live now

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