#me and dazai really can't do anything without chuuya huh😭😭😭

[teddybeartoji]

hmmmmm mickey x dazai?

OKAY SO SO SO !!!!!!!! i one hundred percent see why you'd say that it's mizai BUT the thing is............................... we're both the husband😭😭😭😭 we need chuuya to be our wife....... if we beg enough... maybe he'll agree to do it.................

[unicornpopcorn14]

omg so like, Dazai and the shipping container incident with him getting shipped overseas got me thinking... (I am super late to reading it 😭)

Chuuya, unaware of what happened in the moment because he had been sent overseas himself for an international mission, and he had to go out and scout a foreign shipyard for illegal weapon shipments.

AT THE SAME TIME, he conveniently receives a message forward by Mori to be on the lookout for one of their own agents because a Port Mafia member had been taken hostage around the location Chuuya was in.

Chuuya's ??? because why hadn't he been notified that someone was also either on the same mission as him or had managed to be such a bumbling fool that they got caught by foreign enemies. ANYWAY, he keeps an eye out for anything suspicious while still working on his own mission when he sees a particular area of the shipyard had been surrounded by armed foreign criminals, so he's ready to go bust some ass when they all swing the shipping container doors open and barge in to see Dazai there.

Chuuya just facepalms himself in disbelief because he can't believe Dazai followed him all the way to another country (even though it was totally coincidental) but also, he's not even surprised that Dazai managed to get himself caught by the enemy. Again.

They kick some enemy ass and Dazai gets shipped back home on the next plane back to Yokohama, and Chuuya overhears Dazai complaining to Mori on the phone: "What about my home?!"

Omggg you read my silly shipping container fic hehe *hidesss* /silly

Thank you so much for this omg <333 I genuinely cackled. There really is no end with the shipping container shenanigans huh jknfjew

Lmao Mori telling him to be on the lookout for an agent without specifying that it's DAZAI so Chuuya can take this seriously pffff

I can imagine Chuuya's shocked then angry as heck face when he spots Dazai like,,, he'd probably do a double take at first being like "is that really who I think it is?" and it quickly turns to "Fuck it is who I think it is..."

Dazai would be adamant that that was part of his plan (when it really wasn't) and complain that Chuuya's ruined it and it is somehow Chuuya's fault that he has no home now fjsbfkjebaf

Which will earn him a (justified) kick to the head 😭😭

[honeydazai]

hii could i request some headcanons or drabbles for a reader who does this tiktok trend where they say they paid like $600 for an oil change on chuuya, dazai and fyodor? Love ur writing!

reader telling them they paid $600 for an oil change

characters: Chūya Nakahara, Dazai Osamu

you decide to tell CHŪYA while you're cooking dinner, stirring the food while he's shrugging his coat off

you're like

“babe, I got the oil of your motorcycle changed today! are you proud?”

he doesn't really react at first, only nods and presses a kiss to your cheek as a thank you

but, of course, you need to elaborate on that exciting experience 👍🏻

so you continue

“it wasn't even as expensive as I had expected it to be, the guys there said they even cut me a special deal because they liked me!”

Chūya grunts in response, frowning a little

like

huh?? 🤨🤨 back off weirdos

oblivious, you continue;

“it was, like, $600 only. They also told me they fixed something else? Something about wiper fluid, not sure though. They did say it was hella important though, so this was a great deal!”

at this point, Chūya is just staring at you, dumbfounded

HONESTLY he can't believe his ears 😭😭

like, he knows you don't have any clue about motorbikes and cars, but??

“you paid how much, exactly?” he asks, tone flat as you frown at him, unhappy with his reaction

of course, you repeat what you just said

HELP Chūya occasionally has some mild anger issues

don't be surprised if the soda can he was holding suddenly bursts because of him crushing it

understandably enough, you're confused

“babe, what's the store's name?”

if you actually paid that much without knowing better, Chūya will, uh, pay those mechanics a visit

and man's mafia

he's SCARY when mad

will get some revenge on them for using you

and will pay you your money back

he earns more than you do anyway

later, he explains how extremely overpriced that was 😭😭

he knows you meant well!!!!

but he kinda wants you to stay away from his motorbike now

JUST FOR YOUR SAKE THOUGH

he's not mad

he's just, you know, still a little overwhelmed at how naive you sometimes are

Chūya does appreciate the gesture though 🙏🏻

which is why he doesn't tell you that he could've changed the oil himself at home

“I know you meant well, I'm not blaming you. I'm just saying, please don't trust any scummy mechanics again before talking to me, alright? I don't want anything bad to happen to you.”

you mention it to DAZAI in the car

while you're fastening your seat belt, you're like “by the way, I went to see some mechanics today and got the car's oil changed”

he's always one to hype you up tbh

so he's excited

“oh, yay, baby, that's great! Thank you so much!!” 😚😚

but, for your prank to work, you of course need to continue

so you tell him just how much you paid for the oil change

and, well, Dazai might not be that much into cars, but he does know that that's way too much

his face kind of just freezes for a second, then he frowns, pouting a little

he's like“awww babe :(( they kind of tricked you”

but, before you're able to act all sad, Dazai shushes you and says it's alright, because: “don't worry, darl, I'll get that fixed for you. Just tell me the place! I bet it's just a simple mixup!”

since it's a prank, PLEASE don't name an actual store

Dazai can definitely be scary and intimidating when needed

please don't doom any poor mechanics

of course, you hadn't thought about making up a store's name

it was just meant as a fun little prank, anyway

so Dazai is quick to realise that you've been toying with him

his lips twitch into an amused smirk as he shakes his head, acting like he can't believe you and your 'childish jokes'

of course, he'll pay you back for this

just await his revenge

you just started a prank war

“Oh, I see what's going on here. You've been teasing me, haven't you, belladonna? You're so evil, making me worry like this for nothing but a joke.”

notes: this was so funny to imagine HELP?? 😭😭

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