#me after forgetting susies freckles

[em7raen]

i started this ages ago when the newsletter came out , but i never finished it and i dont think i ever will . SO INSTEAD OF EVER TRYING TO FINISH IT , ILL JUST POST IT AS IS a whole month later + some doodles :3

[eventidedaydreamer]

What is everybody's strengths and weaknesses in your Bendy Au?

:) oh >:) okay

Joey Drew: 

Strengths 

he knows a lot of things, 

Intelligence

he can be very charming and can win people over easily, 

he’s the kind of person that you immediately like when you meet him, 

he knows how to leave a good impression.

If you actually get to know him he can be very bubbly and excitable.

Weaknesses 

he can’t read people, 

he’s brain smart but he isn’t emotionally smart, 

he doesn’t get it when someone shows emotions in a way he isn’t familiar with. 

He lashes out when he’s reminded of unpleasant things.

He knows how to turn everyone into ink creatures through sacrifice but he doesn’t stop to think if he should.

His coping mechanisms are not very healthy

Jealousy, clingy, its hard for him to consider that people can have more than one friend

Henry Stein:

Strengths 

He’s very tough (have you seen how much he falls?? and he’s OLD) 

Probably broke some bones when he was a kid so now he has stronger bones. 

He can handle a LOT of pain, 

he’s cool under stress and pressure, 

he’s a hard worker and a very talented artist.

He has a good memory

Weaknesses 

He has trouble expressing himself 

He’s a people pleaser and has a hard time saying no (something he’s worked on and is better about after he met his wife), 

He underreacts to things and overthinks a lot (overthinking is another thing he got better with after he met Linda)

Wally Franks:

Strengths 

One of the FRIENDLIEST people you will ever meet, 

and hes really really funny

He somehow knows everyone’s name even if he only met them once three years ago, 

It’s like he’s living life at a different speed because it seems like he spent the whole day with you but he also had time to see ten other people the same day?? 

He seems innocent and as if his perfect bubble of the world would pop if you mentioned something upsetting but the reality is he’ll listen to anything you need to get out and then give really good advice followed up with his usual humor.

He trusts that there is good in everyone and gives people second chances

Weaknesses 

He does really stupid things a lot

He’ll connect pipes wrong, resulting in later damage and messes

He’s always getting himself hurt, jumping too many stairs at once, making someone really angry and running for his life (Sammy’s the main one that’ll actually chase him down)

It’s like he has no sense of self-preservation 

(HOW IS HE NOT DEAD?!)

He is really trusting and some people take advantage of that

He opens himself up to everyone and forgives a little too easily

Sammy Lawrence:

Strengths

He knows how to stick up for himself and others

Hardworking

He is damn good at his job and won’t let you forget it

Sarcastic

Honest

Mature

He can hear the music as he’s writing it, feel it in his head when he sees sheet music

Very independent 

If he considers you a friend, he will go to extremes to get back at anyone that hurts you (Just ask Jack, he’s been friends with him the longest!)

It is unknown how many instruments Sammy can play, the band make guesses all the time and Jack is asked on a weekly basis but refuses to comment

its an ongoing discussion 

Determination, he’s the only one that will actually chase Wally til he catches him

Weaknesses

He’s angry almost constantly

The glass is half empty

Doesn’t hold back snide remarks (but if the remark is about music in some way you better listen there’s advice hidden somewhere)

Yelling, but it’s mostly just a very loud “WALLY FRANKS!” followed by running footsteps and Wally’s giddy laughter

I N S O M N I A C

constantly has bags under his eyes

A Perfectionist, Only the best can come from the office of Sammy Lawrence even if he forgets to eat while doing so

yeah thats another thing, he forgets about things like eating, sleeping, ya know, human things

He’s intimidating, the string of constant negativity doesn’t make many friends

Workaholic 

He’s become dependent on the few friends he has to break him out of his  work until its done mode and remind him to eat and sleep (Jack, Wally, Norman and Susie a little.)

because :) it would be a shame :) if one of them :)  went missing :) huh?

Susie Campbell:

Strengths

Hopeful and optimistic

Friendly

She has a really pretty face, shes really pretty in general

she gets a lot of attention because of it

shes tougher than she looks and uses it to her advantage

she is really clever

Flirty and a romantic 

an exciting storyteller, she can make a trip to the refrigerator sound interesting

Weaknesses

Possessive

she wants to hear all the gossip until its about her

is really jealous of the smallest things

she may seem like a little innocent flower but she’s the thorniest rose in the garden and you are growing a little too close to her

Alice Angel means everything to her, its the best way to distract her from anything else :)

the second best way is to mention her star-shaped birthmark/freckle

Norman Polk:

Strengths

Observant 

He’s very good at guessing things correctly

He seems to know something about everything and everyone

A really great listener

He also just has good hearing in general, easily eavesdrops 

Physically strong, he can lift anyone with ease

Wise and careful

he has some pretty sound advice in him if you ask for any

has a very good control on his temper and is calm and cool even in heated arguments or dangerous situations

a good people reader

is very understanding

Weaknesses

He’s scary, just how he likes it

People get the wrong ideas about him (He’s just sitting there! Is he watching me?)

to be fair, he might be

He doesn’t attempt to get to know people unless he sees a reason to

gets into other peoples business 

He’s always lookin’ for trouble

too curious for his own good

doesn’t talk about his feelings

Jack Fain:

Strengths

He’s so good at rhyming that he does it subconsciously on a regular basis

Creative

Empathetic

He’s not afraid to show emotion

Forgiving

Generosity

Gentle and soft

Humble

Patient

Selfless

Weaknesses

He can be really emotional a lot of the time

He spaces out a lot

he can seem like a crybaby

Doesn’t take credit for things he should

Lies about how he really feels to make other people comfortable, he doesn’t want to be a bother

puts himself down to make other people look better

Really shy

doesn’t stick up for himself

too passive

worries a lot

Johnny:

Strengths

He really loves his job

He’s a romantic at heart

very sweet and considerate

Loyal and devoted

Sees the best in people

Weaknesses

He falls in love way too easily

ignores flaws even when they’re concerning

can easily become an emotional mess

fears being rejected more than anything else (bro just love him he’s too sweet)

Shawn Flynn:

Strengths

He’ll tell someone off when they’ve done something wrong

believes in karma and justice

likes sewing while he’s talking/doing something else

really good at multitasking

Luck of the Irish

like he misses getting injured by mere inches

this makes him the perfect Go and Do Something Stupid companion with Wally

He’s really proud of his heritage and his work

Weaknesses

Shouts a lot

He can be too prideful and overconfident

isn’t into mercy or forgiveness 

can and will turn anything into a rivalry if its the last thing he does!!

the downside to being his friend is that its dangerous to hug him because he puts needles through his clothes so he can find them later

he says its built in protection

and Wally says ow

Thomas Connor:

Strengths

He’s been good with anything technical since he was little and only got better at it with age 

Honorable

Hardworking

Mature

Weaknesses

He believes in a one strike and you’re out ideal, leaving him to not trust some genuinely nice people (but he also doesn’t trust some questionable people so he sees it as justifiable)

Reserved, doesn’t attempt to get to know anyone

he can work too hard

Pessimistic

Allison Pendle:

Strengths

Boy can she give an inspirational speech

She’s very generous

Brave 

Levelheaded

She’s a lot stronger than she looks

you should hear her belt out a song

Weaknesses

prefers to fix other peoples problems rather than deal with her own

she’s really competitive 

she gets herself hurt a lot

can be a little too fierce

Grant Cohen:

Strengths

Math, he’s good at math

he was like yeah i can do numbers I’ll be an accountant! (bro im sorry u got Joey as a boss)

He’s a good singer (which seems random unless you know)

Weaknesses

A N X I E T Y

really cannot talk to anyone

his words get all jumbled up

if he had the internet he’d constantly be searching things like, how to explain to your boss that his decisions are putting the company in dept? how do you stand up to your boss?

has bad panic attacks

Bertrum Piedmont:

Strengths

He’s super confidant

Not afraid to get his hands dirty

Even though he almost always is dressed up nice

He makes sure he looks presentable

He acts like a dad to people he likes

Cultured

Very determined 

He can and will do anything out of spite and you can’t stop him because that will only give him more reason to

Weaknesses

Really prideful, gets offended over little things

is pretty arrogant as well

it’s really hard for him to change his mind after he’s made a decision 

refuses to lose, even if it’s really obvious that he has

he can be condescending 

doesn’t like or participate in humor, he’s always deadly serious

He can be over dramatic a lot

Lacie Benton:

Strengths

nothing seems to surprise her

calm and chill

a really good listener, the kind that you know can keep a secret

doesn’t take herself too seriously or anyone, (Bertrum finds her company to be one of his favorites after he figures that out)

shE WEARS WHATEVER SHE WANTS BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT YOUR OPINION SHE JUST LIKES WEARING PANTS

Weaknesses

stays quiet about important things, she ain’t no snitch, who cares if she witnessed someone stealing something

Super apathetic about life

kinda isolated (Norman says hi)

Lazy but only because she can do it really fast and well so you can wait for her

Linda Stein:

Strengths

It’s a good thing she’s so confidant else Henry would have just looked at this pretty lady and never introduced himself

shes like really good at gardening, talk about a green thumb!

Affectionate 

knows when to be gentle and when someone needs tough love

and shes good at distributing both

shes so brave

Eager and excited easily

super patient 

Understanding

Weaknesses

she can come off as too forward and a little too fast

can get a little frazzled

Forgetful (Henry helps with that)

she doesn’t want to invade anyone’s boundaries but doesn’t ask what they are so its a tug of war within her

Sorry this took so long, I wanted to really think about it and do it justice! :D

[instasiswetrust]

Stripper AU (Dwight/David)

It was during the end of one of their many playdates, when soft kisses and cuddling replaced taunting words and leather implements, that David first posed the idea.

"Luv, ye think ye would 'er be up to choking me between yer thighs?" He had asked as Dwight spooned him from behind, an embarrassed blush tinting his cheeks a light pink.

Dwight had choked on his breath, coughing madly as he tried to get air back inside his lungs. By the time he could talk again, David was looking at him with concern, a hand on his cheek. He somehow managed to croak out an "Are you serious?"

David's brow furrowed but he tried to hide it behind a chuckle. It sounded too forced to be real though. "Forget 'bout it, darling. It's no big deal."

And that had been the end of the topic. Dwight hadn't wanted to push anymore and David didn't seem to want to talk anymore, shutting the dancer off with kisses whenever he tried to talk.

All in all, the request wasn't strange, he had heard a few stories of the like during dinner at the dorms, but what really surprised Dwight was that David wanted him of all people for this. It probably shouldn't though, he knew the British man practically worshipped the ground he walked on, be it at The Auris or outside of it.

So he did what he always did when he wasn't sure about something new but was curious enough to try it. He went to Danny.

Danny brought out a watermelon.

"Crush it."

Dwight was very confused, staring at his friend and mentor like he had grown a second head. "What?"

Danny rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue. "Crush it. With your thighs. It's not rocket science, Dwicky."

So Dwight does. He puts the watermelon between his thighs on the chair, tensing the muscles in his legs until he hears a telltale crack. It had taken a minute or two but he had managed with very little difficulty. He guessed all that pole dancing practiced had its merits.

"Alright now you know how much force it takes to crush a watermelon. You know what that feels like. A human person can take half of that. You get it?" The redhead said patiently although the wicked grin he was giving Dwight made it clear that the little lesson would cost him.

Danny had made him promise to tell him the full details once he was done with David to which Dwight blushed but ended up agreeing. In any case, he knew the redhead wouldn't judge him, only tease him a bit.

Now it was just a matter of bringing the topic up the next time he saw David.

Or at least that had been the plan but the brawler hadn't come to The Auris in two weeks and Dwight was starting to get worried. The old anxieties had started resurfacing again, thoughts of David being like Felix haunted him. He was so dumb to be crushing on his clients.

It was at the end of the third week that David finally came back.

Dwight wanted to talk to him before his shift started but David did not show any intentions to request the usual dance which confused him. Still not ready to give up, he talked with Susie and she agreed to deliver his note.

By the end of his set, he was glad to find out David not only had read his note but was waiting for him in his "Realm". It was a fancy way to call the back rooms in which a dancer took a Tier 3 client. Each room was made to fit the theme of their on-stage character, and while some (like Anna's with her cozy cabin interior, or Adiris with her Babylonian temple theme) were pretty cool, it had taken Dwight a whole month to get used to the one tailored for him.

You see, when your onstage name is Mimic, it's sort of easy to know what to expect. Mirrors made up the ceiling and one of the walls of the room, the wallpaper formed intricate lace-like patterns in black and white. The furniture was either reflective or see-through, lots of glass, plexiglass, and plastic. Hell, even the toys inside the glass closet were either see-through, white, or black.

Now, Dwight didn't think he was too bad looking but he wasn't above average in any way, no matter what his small following or David might say. So the stupid amount of mirrors had only served to be unnerving at first. His first time with Danny had been in that room, and while the redhead had seemed to enjoy being able to look at himself from several angles, Dwight had been too nervous to truly appreciate.

He wants to say it was his new self-worth after the Felix fiasco that managed to make him comfortable with the mirrors at last, but then he would be lying. Embarrassing as it was to admit, it was one of his first playdates with David that finally had made it click for him.

David had wanted to be tied up to a chair and "forced" to watch Dwight pleasure himself without his help. It was once he dropped his head back in the middle of a moan that his reflection on the ceiling had startled him. The person in the mirror looked sexy, smug, and well put together. Someone in charge despite being the one on the receiving end of things. And that was him.

A hand on his shoulder pulls him out of his thoughts and when he glances up he meets hazel eyes. Adiris was already tall but with the six-inch heels she wore for work, she easily towered over most of them. She must've noticed his confused expression because a smile curled her crimson lips.

"I saw you standing still in the middle of the hallway and thought it weird since you left so quickly after the set." Her voice is honey soft, bringing back memories of his mom. He missed her, probably should try to call her this weekend. "Is everything alright, my dear?"

Dwight blinks, nods. "Yeah, yeah I'm okay. I think I just got lost in my thoughts for a bit."

"That so?" She chuckles softly, honey and caramel, sweet and familiar. "Alright, dear, but remember not to leave your clients waiting for too long or Ms. Entity might be displeased."

She leaned down to press a kiss to the side of his head, drawing a smile from him, before leaving in the direction of her room. Right. Dwight had a surprise for David and he hoped the man would enjoy it.

A quick change of wardrobe and then he was stepping into his backroom, the telltale click of stilettos on black floorboards letting his presence be known. It was his favorite pair of knee-high stilettos with the top part framed in white lace, leaving most of his pale, freckled thighs bare for everyone to see. A pair of black lace boxer briefs, and striped black and white suspenders finish the look. He's stopped bothering with wearing a shirt long before now, knowing how much David enjoys the sight of his freckled back and shoulders.

Talking about David…

The brunette had instantly sat up on the bed when he heard the door closing, and now he was looking at Dwight with lips parted and a dazed look in his eyes. A barely-there blush colored his tanned cheeks. It brought a giggle to Dwight's lips.

"That good?" He asked innocently, stepping closer until he was just out of reach.

David blinked, licking his lips before speaking. " Are uh… Are those new?"

A smirk, as he hooks his thumbs just under the white waistband of his boxer briefs. David's gulp makes his Adam apple bob. "Oh, these? Yeah. I saw them at the mall and had to buy them. You like them?"

He nods, looking like he's about to say something but his brows furrowed and he looks away. A spark of worry ignites inside Dwight's chest. Did he do something wrong?

"David…?" Dwight reaches out a tentative hand to cup the brunette's cheek, the tense knot in his chest easing somewhat when his hand isn't instantly slapped away. "What's the matter? Are you alright?"

The thing about BDSM and playdates like the ones they had, is that a lot of honesty and trust had to be involved. David had to trust Dwight would take care of him, and Dwight had to trust David would be honest with him and let him know whenever something was wrong be it during a scene or in their weird sort of relationship as a whole.

It's because of this that David dares open his mouth, voicing the worries he had been harboring since the last time they saw each other. "Last time we were talking I just… I know ye probably didn't mean it but the way ye reacted? I sorta… I guess it embarrassed me. Thought maybe ye'd think I was weird or something."

Dwight kind of wanted to hit himself for that one. He knew he had offended David at the time but he didn't know it was this big, and honestly, he was dumb of ass for not making the connection himself. After all, they were always most susceptible during aftercare.

He leans down and presses a light kiss to David's lips, looking apologetic. "I'm really sorry for making you feel like that, David. I assure you that I wasn't put off by your question, much less did it make me think of you any differently. I uh…" And here he blushes, scratching at his cheek with one finger. "It's just something I hadn't done before and was surprised you would suggest it. But I'm prepared now if you still want to?"

"Oh." His partner seemed delighted with the suggestion but he quirked an eyebrow after a moment. "You said you hadn't done it before but now you're prepared?"

Dwight instantly caught the meaning in his words and shook his head, pressing a firm kiss against David's lips for reassurance. "I asked Ghostface and he had me practice using watermelons. You're still the only person I've cleared for Tier 3."

David tries to hide how pleased he is about that tidbit of information but Dwight has known him for long enough to be able to read him. It's been six months since he gave him Tier 3 access, and almost a whole year since Dwight started working at The Auris. He tries not to think too much about how quickly time passes.

At some point during their conversation, Dwight has found his place on David’s lap, the brunette wrapping his arms around him and keeping him pressed against his chest. It was comfortable and he felt tempted to close his eyes and take a nap, but he couldn't do that. Not until he had given David his gift.

“So…” He started, pressing a series of kisses along the brunette's neck and jaw. “Do you still want to choke between my thighs?”

“Hell yes!” David’s words came out in an exhale as if just the thought of that was enough to leave him breathless.

Dwight giggled, extracting himself from his partner's hold and standing to his full height. “Okay then, I'm going to need your safewords and a little rundown of exactly what your fantasy was so I can get a general idea of what you want.”

[nonamedalbinoauri]

why do you hurt?

you swallow pain & fold around it

you have always hurt. you hold it carefully, and twisted in such a way that other people don't have to see it. you don't choke on it. you don't drown. you just have it, the way some people have freckles, this is a thing that lives in your bones. you fold instead of fighting because you know how to make yourself small, tuck away the places where they have clawed at, swallow the bruises so you seem clean. nobody needs to see it. you will live through this on your own. you know what you need, and relief isn't it. this doesn't mean you cannot reach out - it means it is not in your nature to do so. you should. hiding does not mean you won't be seen

I had to redo this one because I just...didn’t feel right at first about it. But the more I read it, the more it does sorta just...fit for Susy. The life she lived in pain shaped who she is and how she navigates life now, doing what she can to keep her hurt hidden from those who might otherwise take advantage of her. Trust is important to her, and only after it’s been earned will she let her hurts be visible.

Tagged by: I forget if @furys-mercy tagged me or not...maybe @eightswordsparrow? Well now you two can see this so yay.

Tagging: I don’t think there is anyone that hasn’t done it yet...

[he-flies-me-to-the-moon-and-back]

Pothos & Crux

“No. I mean someplace special. Where d'ya always go?" Dean asks desperately.

"Saint & Second?"

"Is that a place for dates?"

"... sure?" Maria hesitantly agrees.

🌕 𝙷𝚎 𝙵𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙼𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙼𝚘𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙱𝚊𝚌𝚔 🌕 - 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟼

Dean is back to normal, much to Castiel's own happiness. Dean is no longer avoiding him unlike the past weekend, and he seems to be friendlier towards Castiel, more than the usual amount of affection that Dean always gives him for the past decade.

Castiel isn't complaining though.

Castiel is busy helping out Susie in the cafe on that Monday afternoon when suddenly he feels the vibration coming from his apron pocket. He immediately excuses himself to hide at the end of the coffee counter to check his phone.

It's a text message from Dean.

𝙲𝚊𝚜. 𝚆𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚋 𝚕𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚑 𝚝𝚘𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛?

Castiel chuckles at the adorableness Dean is visibly showing to him. Castiel loves the fact that Dean is embracing his feelings for him more freely, without judging himself for loving a man, yet alone his own best friend. A smile is plastered across Castiel's face. He immediately texts Dean back to answer his invitation. Then, he puts away his phone back into the pocket to resume his work.

Dean has received Castiel's reply.

He turns his upper body around while his lower body is planted on the ground, facing the customer who is picking flowers for her bouquet, to check the received text message.

𝚂𝚞𝚛𝚎. 𝙿𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚊 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎.

Dean subconsciously smiles after reading the text before his face scrunches up as it finally dawns on him. Where should we eat today? He tries to come up with a few viable options, but none seem to be an out-of-the-ordinary place for them to eat; not somewhere that they don't normally go. Pizzas, burgers, pastas - they had them too much to last a lifetime, not that Dean is grumbling about it. But today, he wants it a little different. Just to show his appreciation towards his best buddy. His loyal friend. His guardian angel.

He clicks his tongue in desperation which causes his customer to turn and glare at him out of annoyance. Dean quickly apologizes with a sincere smile as he puts away his phone. Then, he remembers something…

"Excuse me for a sec," he says politely to the lady and hurries to the counter where Maria is organizing a bouquet of pink roses. "Maria! Where d'ya normally have lunch with Noel?" he asks.

"Lunch?" Maria is bewildered by Dean's question since he never has asked her for any recommendations since day one he worked here. "At the burger joint down the street?"

"No. I mean someplace special. Where d'ya always go?" Dean asks desperately since he still needs to arrange the meetup location with Castiel soon.

"Saint & Second?"

"Is that a place for dates?"

"... sure?" Maria hesitantly agrees.

Upon hearing that, he quickly takes out his phone and starts typing the name of the restaurant while Maria is watching him with a pair of eagle eyes.

"You do know that it's ten minutes from here, right? Why do you wanna go there?" asks Maria curiously as she continues to stare at Dean who seems to forget that she exists in his space.

"What?" Dean averts his eyes from the phone screen to look back at Maria. Maria playfully cocks her eyebrows and scoffs. "Are you goin' on a date right now?" she asks cheekily . Dean only gives her a sheepish smile before proceeding to help his previous customer who is by now done choosing her flowers.

________

Castiel is waiting right outside the coffee shop patiently as requested by Dean himself earlier.

𝙸'𝚕𝚕 𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚢𝚊 𝚞𝚙. 𝚆𝚊𝚒𝚝 𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎.

That's the text message that Castiel got from Dean. Castiel has replied, "We can meet there, Dean. No need to pick me up," but Dean hasn't replied to that yet till now. So, Castiel is left with no choice but to just obey Dean's demand.

And not long afterwards, Castiel sees the black beauty that Dean still calls as Baby to this day comes rolling to the side of the road. Castiel can't help but chuckle silently once the reality of Dean picking him up for a lunch date has finally sunk in in his head. Unbelievable, he says in his heart as he makes his way to the Chevy Impala, shaking his head in amusement.

Dean is smiling broadly from the driver's seat. "Hey, gorgeous."

Castiel snorts, taking his place in the passenger seat and stares back at Dean. "Are you seriously gonna call me that from now on, Dean?" he asks. Dean shrugs nonchalantly and begins to drive off his Baby to their designated location for today's lunch.

________

The ambiance in the restaurant is lively with friends and coworkers chatting with each other while they are enjoying good lunch. Dean is relieved to spot a few couples having lunch earlier while he and Castiel were making their way to their table. Don't get him wrong. Dean feels a lot more confident seeing that not only those who are on a date are eating lunch there; since despite Dean wanted to have a proper lunch date with Castiel, he doesn't think he is ready to actually date Castiel just yet. Because of this, Dean can't stop smiling from ear to ear as he reads the menu.

"May I take your order?" asks the friendly waitress as she smiles at both Dean and Castiel. Dean is more than happy to learn that the restaurant serves American foods instead of weird European dishes. Another thing for him to be grateful of.

"I'll have Western Burger and Common Space Helles Lager," Dean replies with a smile and hands over the menu in his hand to the waitress. She thanks Dean before she turns to look at Castiel who is apparently struggling to make a choice. "What ya havin', Cas?" he asks in order to hasten Castiel a little.

"Maybe… I'll have Fried Chicken Sandwich, and… Alesmith Sublime Mexican Lager," Castiel finally makes his decision, much to Dean's relief. The little waitress thanks him as well, takes the menu from him, and begins to walk away from their table to put in their orders into the system, leaving Castiel and Dean alone at the table.

Castiel glances at Dean to see Dean's reaction of being alone with him in a public place, and Castiel notices that Dean is taking it quite calmly, unlike that other day. At least Dean smiles back at him whenever their eyes meet. He knows that Dean is comfortable in these moments.

Castiel decides to break the ice. "We could've just meet here, Dean. You didn't need to fetch me from the coffee shop."

"What? I thought ya needed a lift."

"You do still remember that I own a car, right?"

Dean glares softly at Castiel. "So?"

Castiel catches a hint of self-defense in Dean's tone. If he knows any better, this is the very tone that tells him to back off and stop arguing with Dean. And this indirectly just helps proven Castiel's own theory: Dean is bringing him over to a nice restaurant for an actual date. Castiel shakes his head and chuckles softly. Castiel finds this too adorable to just give up midway.

"So… it means that you don't have to drive around town just to pick me up when we can just meet here."

And as expected, Dean easily takes the bait. But what Castiel has failed to calculate when he made the move is what he was about to see.

Dean's face changes to bitter in a split second, he's no longer smiling at Castiel, and he avoids making eye contact with Castiel altogether. And Castiel's heart skips a beat.

He has never seen Dean acting all lovable like this ever since he's known Dean. Hell. He's never seen Dean acting this way with Sam or even with Mary. And this new side of Dean is stirring all kinds of reactions in Castiel's brain and heart. He can feel his heart beating so fast that it's almost telling him to cut it out and let it free. Damn… Dean is dangerous…

Castiel immediately clears his throat to cover his elation and smiles warmly at Dean. His eyes silently wander across Dean's face, seeing every feature that elevates Dean's beauty and masculinity simultaneously in the most wondrous ways. Since Castiel is not just a common angel, he sees Dean's elegance in a more meticulous way. In his eyes, Dean glows like a sun, with his freckles mark his face like a constellation in the night sky. Castiel has never told Dean this, but in his eyes, Dean is the most beautiful creature ever created by God; and this is coming from a Seraph who was once an occupant of Heaven. That is the reason why Castiel doesn't mind watching Dean to sleep after all these years. He regards Dean as his own Crux. His personal brilliant night sky.

Dean notices Castiel staring at him with a sheepish smile on his face - and that gets him all riled up. "Whatcha smilin' at, ya son of a bitch?"

Castiel continues to chuckle under his breath without breaking his smile. He casually stares back at Dean and says, "You."

Dean frowns deeply - certainly not amused by Castiel's nonchalant answer when their foods have arrived at their table. Dean gives Castiel another stinky look before he mutters "Bitch" and begins to devour his burger.

[ziracona]

in living memory is my favourite dbd fic! seriously feels like it could be it’s own novel series. and i absolutely would purchase the hell out of it if it were asdhsfsff. i was wondering if you had any headcanons regarding the physical appearance of survivors (or killers, too!) since the in game models are... questionable and hard to rely on. if not, no worries!

Awww! Thank you so much! That is an incredibly meaningful thing to me, and I really appreciate it. And sure! I enjoy doing asks. 

In general, I think I headcanon the characters as similar to their models, but obviously there’s some decent room for artist interpretation there, and I definitely have my share of #takes. I tend to fluctuate and like a whole lot of art interpretations of the characters, but I really, really love how @xmafiacatx draws Philip especially, and their picture of him saying he’s sorry was one of the first pieces of art for the game I saw and where I get all my own mental images of him from as base inspiration, and the way @dwightfairfields draws Jake and Dwight is exactly how I see the both of them. For the characters in films as well, like Quentin or Tapp, I think I see them as they looked in the film (Kyle Gallner/Danny Glover) and not their in-game model at all (there’s also a Tapp ask blog w a super great style). Although of course, Quentin and Laurie would both be a little older now. Michael and Laurie are a bit more complicated, but @lauriecynthia had a take I really loved for the sibs. I know Michael has had a lot of height/size iterations, and I dig the like 6+ feet tall for him, but while I think he’s obviously strong, I don’t think he’s like, Kronk from the Emperor’s New Groove jacked or something. He was in Smith’s Grove forever. He’s a little bit more lean than he tends to get drawn, but while I keep that from the og film canon and take my height more from the game and rz canon, I do go with more of a dirty blonde for him (like first film and like Laurie herself). I really like the sibs having the same hair color and somewhat similar faces—where you would definitely be able to tell they were related just looking at them beside each other, because that’s kind of heartbreaking. I think I see dbd Laurie as a little more dbd art specific than filmic interpretation, but with some obvious Jamie Lee Curtis inspiration drawn in. Especially eyes and that fantastic chin.

(putting the rest under a read more bc this got long) 

While I am aware neither Meg nor Susie have freckles in their models, I see both of them with those. I’m also aware of canon heights, but Meg Thomas should not be as tall as she is, and I cannot be swayed. Do love her legs though—as a runner myself, that really be how runner legs look. Thighs like a log and calves like a brick. Regardless, Claudette, she, and Feng should all be similarly short. I also probably see Susie as bigger than her model intends, like a little bit plump and definitely not buff at all, and to my credit with that sweater you really can’t tell. There’s also not a whole lot of body diversity in the dbd character models, like you’ve really just got Jane and Jeff for any kind of plus-size representation at all, and that’s a huge shame. I think of Claudette as probably a little less tiny than she is in-game, and kind of soft all over and incredibly sweet and cute, but with really tough and calloused hands from all the work she does with them regularly, and very similar/close to her model. Jake as a lean kind of buff. I like the way people draw Kate a lot more than her model, so I see her as the kind of person who just looks like a nice person, tall, and muscular (now, after all that work she’s been putting in). Nea’s model also isn’t very kind to her, and I can never see her that well, :’-] , so I see her more based on how she tends to be drawn—punk, and the kind of person who looks like they’re about to tease you when they grin. From the game models it looks like Nea and Meg both have cutting scars, and that makes sense to me for both of them, and that’s such a common thing for people to go through as a teenager and young adult, I think it’s important to have characters that have definitely been through that too. I constantly forget how tall Quentin is, so I think in fic he probably hasn’t hit that last growth spurt just yet. It’s coming for him later, and he’s still a bit shorter than his game model.

Also, while I get Adam is a serious character and person, I don’t like that he’s perma-scowling in his in-game model, and that doesn’t fit how the game itself wrote him, so I see him looking a lot more relaxed-serious than that, and reliable. I think he gives off an air of being a lot older than he is, but if you took a hard look you’d be like, “Oh wait. You’re in your twenties damn.” I think he, Laurie, and Kate are especially tall among the young adults, with Dwight, Quentin, Jake, and David being shorter (David at the tallest of those), then Nea, then Meg, then Susie, then Feng, then Claudette. I see Jeff and Jane pretty much how they look in-game, because those designs are nice, and same for Ace. He looks like a nice guy always about to crack a joke and a bottle of champagne for the whole team. I think of Tapp as very tall, Jane and Jeff as pretty tall but shorter than him, and Ace as shorter than all three and more like Laurie/Kate/Adam height. I’m not sure why I see Laurie as tall so much—I think it might be the bellbottoms. They just have that effect on legs. And then of course, Philip towers over the others at over 7 feet. I also can’t think of a good way to describe this, but I think of Susie as both cuter and a lot more interesting looking than her in-game model. For Joey, I’d say pretty similar, and Frank, but I think of Julie with her hair grown out longer again, like about chin length, and curly/wavy. For Anna/the Huntress, I see her like her game model, but (most of the time anyway) with human eyes instead of the full-pupil thing. Which will actually get a little bit of elaboration next chapter, coincidentally. For David, I see him as a little bit probably younger looking than a lot of his model skins, and more like he tends to be drawn/his base skin, and like a tough but also nice dude. Also, with the sort of 12’oclock shadow, but no beard.

Sorry if this wasn’t what you meant and you meant more like, dress style or something, but I hope this is of interest at least. : D Thanks for the ask!

[reedcrissy]

To my fellow Leo and birthday buddy, August won’t be the same without you! After I learned about the death of my Aunt Nancy on Saturday morning while at work. My first thought was about what I learned back in March and April of 2018 on my journey to become a member of The Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints, was family and the bond we have with our living and our dead. That there is no heaven or hell, but a spirit world where we are once again reunited with our families once more. I know for a fact that my aunt was greeted after her passing by my Uncle Rick, my dad, Aunt Susie, and my Grandma and Grandpa Reed; along with the other members of my family who have gone before me ( also Brinkley and Freckles because we can’t forget about the dogs)! Until we meet again birthday buddy❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 8/5/1946-11/15/2019 https://www.instagram.com/p/B5GdJ1ZHj11/?igshid=caonwn7gfvmo

[mjsparkour]

One Last Time

show: Chilling adventures of Sabrina

pairing: Rosalind Walker/ Harvey Kinkle

description: "Baby I don't care if you got her in your heart, all I really care is you wake up in my arms." They really should've met much sooner. It's the honesty of it. They're lives intertwine in more than one way, way too often. In Greendale, a seemingly small town where everyone knows everyone, the real stories lie in the lives of the residents. The real story lies in the lives of Harvey Kinkle and Rosalind Walker. Oneshot

They really should've met much sooner. It's the honesty of it. Their lives intertwine in more ways than one, way too often. In Greendale, a seemingly small town where everyone knows everyone, the real stories lie in the lives of the residents.

It's the town where Dorothy Walker took her young daughter, Rosalind Walker to the supermarket every Sunday and the park every Friday. It's where the town folk lived their daily lives in routine and tradition, no matter how suffocating it turned out.

It's where Evelyn Kinkle found herself trapped in a marriage gone sour. So she put in energy toward giving everything to her children, putting Tommy in a shop class on Sundays and taking her youngest Harvey Kinkle to the supermarket with her. When her husbands vice grip on her was just to much, on those days she would take both boys out to the park and they'd play.

In retrospect, they should've met sooner than they did.

It's finally Rosalind's first day at Baxter elementary school that they meet. Six year old, Rosalind Walker, felt like she was going to throw up in the back on her moms new SUV. "Mommy I don't feel so good. My tummy hurts, can we go back home?" Roz says as she pushes up her small glasses with a pout that could get her out of jail if she tried.

"Baby, it's just your nerves. Don't try that pouting stuff with me, you know it only works on your father. You gotta be strong Rosalind." Dorothy says with an amused smirk painted on her lips, reflection bouncing off the rear view mirror.

Roz sucks her teeth, "But mom I don't wanna start a new school, Riverdale wasn't a bad school mommy, I had friends there."

"Well then you'll make new friends. You know your mommy had to get you here so it would be easier for me to pick you up. Mommy doesn't work at Riverdale hospital anymore, so there is going to be some changes. Look at it this way, at least we dont have to change houses, we staying right here in greendale, everyday" She mutters.

"I'm not gonna make any friends with these alien eyes and monster puffs mommy!" The child complains, arms crossing with frown settled in her face, two seen space buns settled on her head golden in the sun streaming through the car window.

Dorothy's eyes narrow and her eyes brows furrow, Roz sat up knowing her mother was upset. "Now you listen to me Rosie, if anybody I mean any body wants to tell you anything about your hair you just tell them that you got that beautiful hair passed down from a long lineage of queens! Women who mattered in this world. Your hair is who you are and that is a smart and beautiful girl, don't you forget that." Her mother rants, as Roz looks out the window to the tall trees and orange leaves on the ground.

"Yes mommy", Roz sighs exasperated as her mother pulls over.

Rosalind's bright yellow shoes reach the pavement and she hears her mother drive away. She sees the students being dropped of by their parents. Some kissing them good bye followed by kids running away and groups of friends together. Rosalind gulps and pushes her glasses up, I don't need nobody, be strong just like mommy said.

Just like that she feels her head rise up along with her chin as she hears the school bell ring and enters with everyone else to the classrooms.

***

Rosalind just can't believe her luck.

On the first day of all days she meets a really shy girl with brown hair and light freckles on her face, Susie. During snack time they promise to be best friends no matter what, pinkies tied and all.

Then a blonde haired boy with a mean glare pushes Susie as she tries to empty out her lunch tray, leaving the garbage everywhere him and his four other goons laugh.

Roz quickly realizes Susie's only shy because she gets pushed around a lot, she knows a thing or two about bullies too.

"It's okay Rosalind." Susie says from her stance in the floor picking herself up.

It's really not okay Rosalind hears herself say in her head.

Just as she feels her mouth open ready to chew them out and her glare at the boys hardening for hurting her new best friend when a voice calls out "Hey! Leave her alone." A short girl with blonde hair takes a protective stance to Susie, whose trowing the trash with a renewed hope highlighting her features and an awestruck Rosalind.

"Oh I'm so scared what are you gonna do short stack?"

"I'll tell on you Zach Feldman, I'll tell Ms. Morrison you were the one who put the glue on her seat yesterday and not Gary Truman."

"Your such a tattle tale Sabrina Spellman, that's why nobody wants to be your friend and your weird." Kids gathered around the scene playing out in front of the cafeteria, began laughing at her and just as Sabrina was about to turn around, frown on her face.

With a chin tilted upward Rosalind found herself saying, "Oh yeah? I wanna be her friend."

Finding her voice from the background a now confidently smiling Susie says, "Yeah I wanna be her friend too."

"Cool you can all be weirdos together." Zach says getting laugh out of the students once again, the crowd disperses as he walks away but they don't matter. All Rosalind sees are the smiling faces of her new found friends and the beginning of something great.

"You guys can call me Roz."

***

Then there's him.

It's the next day, Roz was dropped off again waiting for her friends in front of the court yard when she sees softest boy with the softest brown eyes she's ever seen.

***

Harvey Kinkle likes to think he's a cool guy. His older brother always tells him so, his mother always tells him too so it must be true. So as he's walking to meet his friends on their usual corner in front of the school he doesn't understand why he loses all sense of body functions at the sight of this one girl but he does.

Harvey almost trips on his way to his friends when he sees her because she's just so pretty, it's the only way to explain it other than her having superhero or villain powers and she doesn't look that cool . Two sheen puffs proudly stand atop her head and she looks at him with these round eyes that hold him. When he finally looks away and gets to the guys they laugh and tease.

All the while Roz giggles at the sight of him wondering if he's okay.

***

"Does Harvey Kinkle have a crush on the new girl?!" A voice calls out, the boys laugh.

"Keep your voice down man!" Harvey says looking around wondering if she's still around.

"Why you don't want her to hear you've got cooties?" Zach yells to the class in the yard from his spot leaning in the tree.

"Shut up no I don't!" Harvey whines at the insistent teasing and the sounds of the young boys laughter.

"Why do you like her anyway? her hair's too big. I bet you could fit two apples in those puff balls." Zach says and the boys laugh.

Harvey looks down at the ground, "Don't talk about her like that." He says weakly.

"What was that Kinkle?"

"Just-just leave her alone Zach." Harvey stutters.

"Aww Harvey likes the new girl." Another boy sang out soon everyone joined in the chant.

"Yeah Harvey likes the new girl" Zach sang, as Harvey's fist clenched.

"No I don't!"

"Oh yeah prove it? Put gum in her stupid hair since you don't like her so much." Zach says with a smirk a chorus of "ohhh" "he's not gonna do it" follows.

Harvey gulped as Zach put a stick of gum in his open palm, "What are you gonna do Kinkle?"

***

Everyone's in there classrooms and as Harvey walks up to Roz, his hand shakes.

The next thing she knows, she's got gum in her hair, Harvey's eyes are as wide as he thinks there ever gonna get and a slur of apologies follow only to be out voiced by her cries for help with the sticky assailant in her hair. She officially hates this day and Harvey Kinkle.

***

There all ten when Harvey's mom dies in a horrible car accident. The whole community shows up to the funeral of Evelyn Kinkle and to the house with every different assortment of food imaginable. Harvey is told to stand up straight and is shoved around by his drunk father. Tommy tries to distract him a couple times as he usually does with TV and errands while he cleans up after dad's messes.

In the wake, Sabrina, the pretty blonde girl from school, hugs him for the first time and he's so nervous, hands sweaty, he thinks he's gonna throw up, she gives him a light smile and leaves; a part of him wishes she didn't. Harvey's eyes are still wide and Tommy asks what's wrong when he sees him.

Harvey blinks, "Sabrina Spellman just hugged me."

Tommy chuckles and pats his little brother in the shoulder, "Girl drama already? And here I thought I was gonna have to wait a couple years."

"Shut up Tommy."

Then he sees her and the lightheartedness of the moment passes and he's filled with dread, Harvey stiffens. Noticing once again his brothers expression and where his eyes traveled to he chuckles again, murmuring to himself this time, "Ahh they grow up so fast." Harvey still hears him, his brow furrows and he shoves Tommy off. His laugh provides Harvey with a little solace on such a bleak day.

Harvey knows Tommy would rather put up a front than see how he's really grieving in some ways he's grateful for it and in others, he just wishes he could help. He can't imagine it's easy being the older brother to someone who says they see demons, Harvey shakes the painful memory away, puts the awful shade of red out of his mind.

Harvey's eyes find Rosalind's again and the stiffness of his body returns. It fades when she gives him a sad soft smile across the room that says I'm sorry, Harvey graces her with one of his own and she shrugs.

Harvey breathes, and for the first time in a while for some reason he thought things were gonna be alright.

***

Flash forward forward a couple years later, there all fourteen and fifteen, and Baxter high school was in full swing and adamant chatter filled the soon to be transformed cafeteria because of the awaiting annual homecoming dance. Three girls sitting in their usual spots in the lunchroom had a conversation of their own regarding the dance while one was in her own head, a million miles away.

"So I was waiting on him to ask me because it seemed like he was, but he just said he had to go home." Sabrina says from her seat opposite Susie and Roz, a pale hand settled under her chin.

"Maybe he was nervous?" Susie replied

"I don't know, I mean he kind of seemed like he was. What do you think Roz?" Sabrina asks, eyes narrowing at her friends unfocused gaze.

"Roz?" Susie calls to her.

"I just think that we are not doing enough for the people out there who really need our help, we are panthers baby. We should be out there doing what we need to do for the good of the people!" Dorothy Walkers voice exclaims into the void of the Walker living room. Roz sits perched at the top of her brown stair case arms loosely wrapped around her figure.

"What we should be doing is looking out for the good of this family! Of course it's important to stay woke and fight the good fight but how long until fighting costs us our lives. Things got dangerous with that life style Baby." Micheal Walker replies to his wife's irrationality, reaching out to her trying to get her to understand.

"Jesus Dorothy we aren't kids anymore, we aren't teenagers, we're raising one and you gotta be there for her."

"You don't tell me what I don't do and do for my daughter okay." Dorothy yells, pointing an accusatory finger at him.

"She's just as much mine as she is yours, don't don't do that. At least I'm acting like it."

"Micheal, I don't wanna hear another word." Dorothy warns.

"Roz!" Susie says again, worried expression on her face, "You okay?"

Roz blinks, back to reality and meets her friends concerned expressions with a complacent one of her own, she tries to tug for a smile, "Yeah guys I'm fine just tired, I'll see you guys at the dance? Yeah?"

As Roz gets up the bell rings, and her friends share a look.

***

When Roz gets home the air just doesn't feel the same, a once warm cozy place felt desolate and cold.

She's alone in her homecoming dress, awaiting her mom whose been late to just about everything recently.

The heel of her black shoe clanks against the hardwood of the floor as she paces back and forth in her red dress. She sees the bright yellow light of her mothers black SUV in the garage and she gets outside with everything.

"Finally! Mom give me the keys I gotta go." Roz breathes out, palm up awaiting the keys in her hand.

"Oh honey you look beautiful." Her mothers eyes tear up, and Roz drops her awaiting hand looking to her mother confused.

"Mom are you okay?" She asks eyes narrowed.

"How about I drive you honey? Come on get in the car." Dorothy says sniffing huddling her things back in the car as Roz looks to her confused. "Well come on baby wouldn't want you to be late to your first high school dance would you?" Dorothy says on the brink of releasing a set of tears. In all her fourteen years, Roz had never seen her mother cry; no less cry to take her to a school dance so to say she was confused was an understatement.

The car ride is spent in silence. It's composed mainly of moments her mother would look at her for long periods of time and Roz would remind her the light was green and they'd go. They finally get to Baxter high and Dorothy looks to her for what seemed like forever, and cups her cheek, "My beautiful baby, you've grown into such an amazing educated young woman." Roz's eyes widen, okay so my moms officially lost it, she thinks. "Mom what's going on?" Roz asks confused.

"Go on and have a good time, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Make sure to get Susie to drive you home. I'll be taking the car with me."

Roz hand drifts to the door handle, and it sills when she looks back at her mom. Dorothy has tears in her eyes again, "It's alright honey go on."

Roz walks out of he car and doesn't turn back, already fearing the worst as she steps through the school doors to the gym.

***

Roz gets back home an hour later, feeling an intense aversion to what awaits her. She looks at the simple cobble stone in path and steps leading to her once cozy brick home from Susie's car window and wants so badly to be far away. Susie had been the first of her friends to get her drivers license, never mind the age limit her dad was able to pull a few strings. Most kids in green dale had been learning to drive since they were in car seats.

"Roz are you sure your okay? You've been spacing out all night. We can go to my place? I can call brina and we could have a slumber party? All you'd have to do is go in now and ask your dad." Susie asks her softly.

Roz smiles, and that's why she's the best, "It's cool Susie, I've just got some stuff to deal with my family, my mom was acting weird before she dropped me off. I think we just have to figure stuff out." She lightly smiles, hoping to death she'll believe it.

"Alright Roz but call me if you need anything okay? Also careful on those steps, cobblestones and heels do not mix."

"I will" Roz laughs as she leaves her friends car and makes her way to the door. Moms car isn't in the drive way, huh she notices.

Roz gets in the house and she's greeted the same feeling she got when she came home from school, a cold and desolate energy only thing different this time, her father was here.

That feeling she feared for the worst came back with a vengeance.

Roz rushes up to walk towards him, head in his hands, he looks up to his little girl whose not so little anymore and gives her a weak smile, "Hi honey how was the dance?"

"It was nice. Where's mom?" Roz asks, getting straight to the point. Just like her mother Micheal thought, staring off into space wondering where it all went wrong.

"She left."

"What? where?"Roz asks, a million questions springing to her mind.

"I don't know baby, I just know she isn't coming back."

Roz backs away from her father taking in the news, and walks toward the stairs to her room.

"Rosalind honey...I'm so sor-" Roz already shaking her head frantically as tears form, "No, No dad don't apologize. Its not your fault. I've just got to get to my room."

Roz locks her self in her room, breathes and cries. Cries for the woman who would take her to the supermarket on Sundays, for the woman who told her her hair was beautiful and for the woman who would take her to the park nearly every Friday, The park she thinks. She looks up from her stance on the floor and trades her heels for a pair of sneakers and makes her way out the door.

Her father paces downstairs in the living room, "Rosalind where are you going this time of night?" He says arms crossed, Micheal knows the circumstances of the night are strange but she's still his daughter, in his house.

"Dad I just need to go out for a walk please."

"Roz-"

"Bye Dad."

***

Every now and again Harvey gets a little unsettled by the noise in his house, not that there is much, but the lack of it. His mothers calming pacifying voice is gone and its been years, but his dad never lets him forget it, not that he ever would. Sometimes Tommy's ever patient smile isn't enough. He's got plans and friends and a life. So once and in while Harvey quietly leaves and walks around town, Tommy's at a party and his father is too drunk to notice.

Harvey walks for what feels like hours. He feels his feet wandering of their own volition as he thinks about where he is in life so far. With joy division blaring in his ears, he thinks of Sabrina and her friends. They've all been hanging out as of late ever since him and Susie were paired to do an anatomy project together. Since then he's been like additional member to their group, and then theirs this unspoken thing with Sabrina. He thinks back to being that 10 year old kid with his world collapsing around him, a pretty girl giving him a hug and bringing good feelings to light in a dark place. Harvey suddenly looks down at his shoes in thought, man I shouldn't have chickened out asking her to the dance, he thinks to himself, upset he doesn't know what could've been. Then his thoughts drifted again as the cold front met his face to the other girl at his mothers wake and his chest tightens. Roz forgave him all with a smile, and its not like she hated him because he put gum in her hair when she was six but it was..weird because they never were really, friends.

Suddenly his view is changed by a gate, a view of a baseball field and endless grass, with his childhood playground in sight, with out knowing it Harvey realizes he's made his way to the park where his mom used to take him as a kid. He gets this aching feeling in his chest as he makes his way to the entrance, sometimes he really misses her so much it hurts and he breathes just like she always told him to when things got to much with his father. Harvey sees his condensation from his breath and opens the gate his eyeline immediately going to the swing set, his favorite playground object as a child and then he sees her. Roz and her soft cries are heard as he hesitantly makes his way to the other seat.

Harvey notices she's still wearing her homecoming dress, a short red dress that exposes her shoulders and sneakers, Shouldn't she still be at school? Did something happen there? He wants to check his phone in case Sabrina or Susie texted him something that he didn't see about anything that might've happened tonight but he fights the urge.

"H-Hi Rosalind." She quickly faces the other way and brushes away her tears, breathing deeply she corrects him "it's just Roz, remember" She's corrected him on it during the many times they've all hung out together for some reason it never really sticks.

"Oh sorry." Harvey says more than sorry about just that, but that stupid fateful day he put gum in her hair and about never really trying to talk to her after that.

Harvey looks to her, her thick glasses are off and her face has light pink tint as the autumn breeze picks up carrying her curls around.

"You know I'm really sorry about that day with your hair, I didn't really mean to do it you know I just wanted to fit in with my friends and they're not my friends anymore they haven't for a long time. I'm sorry I let them tease Susie for so long. I-I'm just sorry." She sniffles and finally looks to him, "you don't have to worry about the hair thing I got over that a long time ago." She lets out a breathy laugh, so soft as if it was barely there at all. "But I'm really not the one you should be apologizing to for Susie, that's for her."

"Right" he says meekly as he starts to swing.

They sit in comfortable silence, enjoying the cool air, and swirling yellow and orange leaves. They're both not looking at each other when Roz sneaks a couple glances his way and tells him that her mom left and she was here because this is where she used to take her as a little girl.

Harvey looks away, "You know we really should've met sooner than we did, my mom used to come here with me all the time too." Roz looks at him as if realizing the situation, "Harvey I'm so sorry, I didn't think-"

"It's fine Roz, it was four years ago." Four years that his dad wouldn't let him forget, four years of his brother single handily trying to keep the family together, four years of burying himself in his drawings and music. His mother always loved his drawings.

Again there's a silence for a while, two figures on a swing set in the moonlight just sit. "You know some stupid part of me thought she'd come back here, that she'd just know just where I was and take me back home, take us both back home." Her face is still wet streaked with tears.

Harvey has never had to deal with a crying girl before and his palms start to sweat, he's been hanging around Sabrina more often and thus her friends because they're cool people but he's never felt really accepted by Roz yet, it was good to clean the air. He didn't want to set her off in anyway.

"It's not stupid, to want to see your mom again. It just sucks that some white dude that um..does something to the patriarchy, came in her place." Harvey knows that Roz is all about social justice, her parents especially and he's still learning. She lets out a laugh, a strong one that he can hear this time, he'll count it as a win.

"They hold up the patriarchy, Harvey."

"Oh okay cool." His eyes widen as he says it, and Roz's one eye brow raises, in amusement. "I-I mean not cool like cool but I mean- I get- I unders-" the metal chain of the swing set rattles as Roz laughs with her entire face, eyes crinkling, head tilted back hand holding her stomach.

Leaves swirl around as the cold front comes and her laugh rings in his ear like a bell. She shivers from the cold and Harvey realizes she's still in her homecoming dress, he stands takes of his jacket, Roz looks at him in slight confusion as he puts his jacket on her shoulders. She blushes and remembers the soft brown eyes when they were six. Then she remembers this morning, Sabrina talking about how she wanted Harvey to ask her to the dance. Disappointment blooms in her chest at the realization, everyone with eyes and a pulse knew that Sabrina and Harvey had feelings for each other.

Harvey softly smiles at her while she looks down. The moonlight bouncing off her caramel skin, she puts her glasses back on and stands up. That warm feeling he felt when he was ten comes back again. The one that promised everything was going to be alright. He looks up to her from his seat on the swing set.

"Why didn't you ask Sabrina to the dance?" Roz asks, holding back has never really been one of her strong suits.

It's almost comical how fast his face changes from soft to taken aback. "Well I-" he clears his throat and feels the nervousness crawl back up like a viper, he looks back up to her face, her soft brown eyes and just breathes out, "I was chicken shit." Roz's eyes now widen at his bluntness and she lightly chuckles, Harvey's sweet smile comes back with a comfortable silence.

Roz looks away from him and back at the ground,"I uh gotta go it's getting kinda late and I don't wanna worry my dad. Especially with everything that happened." Its now that she realized the state she left her dad in, head in his hands in all, thinking his wife had left him and now his daughter too? She had to make things better at home.

"Oh uh..do you want me to walk you there?" He says strangely not wanting the moment to end.

"No it's fine." She reply's with a small smile.

"Are you sure?" He inquired further, not unfamiliar to the threat of the dark. Roz's smile unwieldy widens highlighting reassurance, "Looks like Harvey Kinkle isn't too chicken shit to take a girl home and protect her from the big bad darkness." She waves her fingers around and lets out a low "oooo" she giggles as he stands from his seat on the swings and shoves her, small grin placating his features. Soon they're both laughing and shoving each other as they both walk out of the park.

Roz's laughs pan out as they reach the entrance, and soft brown met large almond brown once again, with a light smile she says "Goodnight Harvey, and uh thanks for...this." He feels his head shaking as a response,"Anytime, night Roz.", And he's rooted in the spot, he can't let him self go and they stare until Roz turns around makes her way down the familiar path to her house. Harvey still standing there, on the spot, watching her leave like a creep. He's about to turn around and scold himself when he sees her look back, soft smile still settled on her face and she looks at the ground again toward the path ahead of her.

Harvey watches until he can't see her anymore and finally turns around.

***

They spend way to much time in the library, Roz helps him with his English homework and every now and then he'll show her a drawing and she'll come up with stories for them.

"Okay so she's a zombie mom with a cookie cutter family and they all...murder people in order to give her food to survive!" Roz exclaims marveling at her own brilliance.

Harvey lightly shades a spot on the paper featuring the zombie mom and his expression becomes confused, "Isn't that a show on Netflix though? The Santa Clarita diet?"

"What? No. This is the peak of my creative brilliance is what it is. I'm insulted that you'd think I never take my job as your comic writer seriously." Roz says jokingly hurt.

"You keep stealing storylines and I just might have to fire you Roz." Harvey shrugs, light smile painted on his face as he looks down at his drawing.

"I- Wha, Susie! Is my story a rip off-" Roz starts addressing Susie on the couch a few feet from the table, reading her aunts journal.

"Yes your story is a rip off Santa Clarita diet, frankly I'm appalled. This is lazy writing at its finest." Susie says not once looking away from the book in front of her as she cut Roz off.

Roz indignantly has her mouth open in shock and Harvey laughs, it's a hearty sound she wouldn't mind hearing more often. It's almost as if it happens in slow motion, Harvey is looking at her and she can see his perfect smile, soft brown eyes and upturned lips smiling at her then she's sees those same eyes leave her and look to another pair but this one with a short blonde bob. "Hey guys." Sabrina smiles as she sits with them. Harvey's eyes shine and Roz's stomach flops.

***

"Harvey I swear on my nana if you pick a romantic comedy for movie night we're not friends anymore." Roz says, exasperated from her seat on Susie's couch, limbs flailing everywhere.

"Agreed, you've picked that genre for the past three Friday's in a row." Susie says in slight concern for her friends taste in movies, as she eats her milk duds from the recliner.

Harvey brings in the two bowls popcorn from the kitchen and smooshes himself between a sleeping Sabrina and an unbothered Roz, "Hey don't judge the superior movie genre selection that brought is us comedic gold like the proposal and couples retreat. They're classics!" He argues looking at Roz' impassive face then to Susie, and gives her a look that says back me up here. She gives one back, not fighting this one bud, good luck.

"I got news for you Harv." oh no Susie thinks, sinking back into the recliner, eating her milk duds awaiting the chaos.

"Rom coms, not better than Horror movies. Like at all," Roz says looking Harvey dead in the eye with her thick rimmed glasses and takes the bowl of popcorn right from his hands, his eyes widen at her statement.

Nope no turning back now, Susie thinks looking between them. She wonders when there gonna figure out this whole thing between them out, it's probably gonna a while, inwardly sighing.

"I'm gonna give you a minute to process what you just said and take that back." Harvey says awaiting her next words. Roz eats a kernel and replies with a confident "Nope." popping the p at the end for emphasis. Harvey nods and smiles a smile that promises mischief and makes his way toward her, "Harv what are you doing?" Roz cautiously says eating another kernel slowly.

Immediate giggles erupt from Roz as Harvey tickles her further into the couch and a lightly snoring Sabrina moves, both Harvey and Roz' heads turn to the sleeping girl, not wanting to disturb her.

"If she woke up that would've totally been your fault" Roz whispers to him, holding his forearms while his hands are still splayed on her hips, both still as to not incite the blonde to wake. "It would not" He whisper yells and their heads turn back to each other and they realize there current position and how close their faces are, Harvey can make out the almond shape of her eyes and Roz can still make out his laugh lines; she wants so badly to trace it but again she realizes where they are and clears her throat. They both look away, Harvey turns his face to Sabrina's sleeping form and says, "At least your not at Sabrina's level of love for horror movies, that would be horrible." His words just oozing fondness and affection at the sleeping girl.

"Yea, I know right." Roz says adjusting herself to the couch more, feeling a familiar swoop at the stomach.

Susie sits up setting the empty box of milk duds on the table, oh yeah were gonna have to wait years, she thinks growing tired at the thought.

***

There at their usual spot in the back table near the computers in the library, while Roz tries to decode the famous Sir Lancelot and Queen Genevieve poem to Harvey. Endless rows of books surround them and a shroud of papers compiled nicely on the edge of the hardwood brown table.

"So basically Tennyson is saying through the use of endless creative metaphors and personification that Lancelot and Genevieve would do anything for their love and each other even die." Roz sums up with finality looking to Harvey's bewildered expression. "Okay what do you not get?" She asks, a stray hair falls in front of her face as Harvey looks at her he has the strangest powerful urge to push it behind her ear. He quickly realizes that she awaiting his response, when her eyebrows raise, "I uh, Well I just think its about something different that's all." He responds, looking down toward the book.

"What do you mean?" Roz asks, curious on his outlook of the poem. "Well I just think its about finding love in whats in front of him, seeing what he has and giving everything, all of his being toward it and Genevieve receives it."

"So you think Its one sided?"

"I think Lancelot had a lot more to lose in having an affair with the kings wife, I'm saying maybe she was a little selfish."

"Wow your opinion is wrong." Roz says with an incredulous expression on her face, looking away from his gaze and back toward the book.

"What?" He asks in disbelief

"If anyone is being selfish its Lancelot, I mean sleeping with your best friends wife? Come on and he didn't even have to pay for being an adulterer and his "love" for Genevieve with his life you know who did though? Genevieve." Roz huffed.

Harvey looked at her then back down at his copy and started reading,

'She look'd so lovely, as she sway'd

The rein with dainty finger-tips,

A man had given all other bliss,

And all his worldly worth for this,

To waste his whole heart in one kiss

Upon her perfect lips.

There's a stillness after he reads it between them both, she keeps her eyes on her copy and feels as his turns from the page and makes its way up to her face, to met the tug of her gaze and feel the pull they've felt so many times before. Then he speaks, "Maybe its not about what they gave up and who did more wrong than the other but the way he remembered her before they took there last kiss and the way she embraced and accepted him for who he was when it was all said and done." Harvey breathes out, and nervousness crawls back up from his stomach, even though he'd never felt more at ease with Roz than he had with anyone else. The contradicting feelings clashed and their gazes locked again.

A ping sound went off, a notification was heard from the table and both their heads turn fast to the device, "Sorry Roz I forgot to turn it off." He admits with sheepish smile and looks down at the notification, he's never been so relieved to see that Tommy texted him a picture of the grocery list.

Harvey gets his things into his bag and looks down to his phone again careful to avoid the pit of those almond brown eyes that he could fall into, and he rapidly explains his departure, "Sorry I gotta leave but Tommy just sent me this grocery list and I need to get the stuff like now. For dinner and the week and everything. So bye." Harvey says all in one sentence and with a final wave, leaves a confounded Roz in his wake.

***

Sabrina and Harvey finally become official in the summer after sophomore year and there group has never been closer. They go to the movies, hang out at the library, the bookstore and do normal teenager things of course.

But it's the fact that there are no more secrets between them and everything is out in the open that brings them together. Roz is going blind but gaining the sight, her cunning, Susie is talking to her dead aunt, Harvey saw an actual demon and Sabrina is a witch. However nothing was ever be normal again especially after Roz was finally struck blind.

It happens in the woods when they're on there way to the mines to expel a demon ready to reign loose on the town. The colors of the leaves are just being turned back to green as winter spells it's last goodbye. The brown trails on the ground seem endless and the path toward the mine is covered in branches, "How much longer till we get there?" Susie heaves, chalking this up to bring the only exercise she'll be doing for the year.

"Susie we've been to the mines, how do you not know where we are?" Roz breathes out as they trek through the leaves at a fast pace.

"It's probably the physical exhaustion talking, don't worry we're almost there Susie." Sabrina replies leading her friends, holding Harvey's hand as he trails next to her.

They approach an array of yellow and red signs telling them to keep out, they're at the entrance of the mine. Sabrina looks up to Harvey squeezing his hand. Roz looks at Harvey's empty expression knowing that he's thinking of his brother, he's already lost so much she thinks with a sorrowful expression. Harvey looks away from the cursed entrance and kisses Sabrina's forehead as Roz and Susie gather there bearings and make there way to them.

"I'm so not doing P.E on Monday." Roz curses and Susie breathes in agreement.

They huddle together as Sabrina goes over the plan, "Okay guys so we all stick together, we all know the mine is a maze and this could very well be where the demon is and conveniently where we need to trap it so there's no means to escape." Harvey takes a deep breath and nods

along with the other morals.

"He's going to want to separate us so we're easier to manipulate, he's going to whisper certain truths to your mind but you have to ignore it so we can find him and trap him. Susie I'm gonna need you to keep a look out side the mine in case anyone else comes, Roz I'm gonna need you to touch this inscription to find out where he might be in there and Harvey," Sabrina breathes out, "just stay safe and keep next to me okay?"

He pecks her lightly on the lips, "You got it 'brina." Sabrina smiles at him, and Roz focuses her eyes on the rocks below her.

Sabrina levitates the rocks out of there path as the three of them make there way toward the core of the maze. Roz trails behind the pair, still holding hands and holding up flashlights in their other hands. Are you lost blind girl? A grim scratchy voice echoes out in her mind. "Did you guys hear that?" Roz says.

"Hear what?" Harvey replies turning toward Ros.

"Never mind."

Never mind that your in love with your best friends boyfriend, how pathetic. Roz eyes widen at the raspy scathing voice and suddenly the light of her flashlight gets dimmer and the vision of Sabrina and Harvey in front of her gets blurred.

"Remember Roz we have to ignore the voice it's just trying to manipulate us to let it out." Sabrina cautions.

"Right" Roz breathes out in confusion as her eyes begin to blur out the brown of Harvey's hair, the blue of his jacket and the white light of Sabrina's flashlight.

"Uhh guys I think I'm starting to lose my sight now, I can't see oh my God." Roz says breathing hard now, she can't hear their foot steps anymore. "Guys?!" She yells out.

Roz feels wet tears fall from her eyes, as she whips her head around frantically trying to adjust to seeing nothing in any direction.

Useless, you couldn't even follow your friends and lead them the right way

The voice returns and rings back in her head like a song, she tries to cover her ears and block the sound.

She's gonna hate you when she finds out you know, the witch. She will find out and she'll leave just like your mother and your grandmother did.

The voice brings Roz to her knees as she cries out in full on sobs. The demon is right she's gonna hate me, they all are. They're gonna leave me. She feels the weight of her glasses on her face, they're useless to her now. Just like I'am, useless.

"Roz?" She hears his voice clear ring out before her. Harvey kneels in front of her to see if she's okay as she looks up to follow the sound of his voice. "Roz..your eyes.." he says rooted in the spot at the sight of her, the soft brown he always knew becoming a startling gray .

"I know, I can't see!" She exclaims frantically. The tears roll out once again,and make there way down her cheeks.

You can't see him anymore and you never will again. You'll never see anyone you love again.

Rosalind cried out loud sobs at the insistent demonic voice, "I can't see you." She cries out.

Harvey's heart breaks at the sight of her and hearing her cries, they have to get out of here. "Look Ros, brina found a way out of here, you've been trapped here for three hours okay-"

Roz looks up from her hands and sniffles, "What? no, that's impossible I just lost track of you guys." Her breathing becomes labored again, in out , in out.

No one can save you Rosalind Walker, no one will care.

Roz' eyes shut tightly.

"No Roz listen to me," Harvey says his hands now intertwining with hers, anchoring her to his words "We found the demon and trapped it, it's just all in your head, okay? You got lost, so I came to get you and Sabrina gave me this red yarn so we can get back." He breathes out to her hoping to everything they can make it out of this.

"I need you to slow down your breathing okay? In. Out." Harvey eyes frantically watch over her face trying to calm her breathing.

Roz's greys still in his direction and they shut as she breathes, in. Out.

I'll keep you here with me where you belong, forever. The voice picks at her mind and reverbs.

"Roz..hey, you with me?" Harvey asks his breath fanning across her face, she startles at the proximity and his voice. "Do you still hear it's voice?" He asks brows furrowed, suspecting the reason for there self imposed captivity.

He will never love you the way he does the witch

More unwilling tears roll out, as Roz faces the ground and lets out a meek, "Yes" in response.

"Hey Roz just focus on my voice, just me." Soft yet calloused hands cup her wet cheeks, the red string rests on the right side of her face, tied around his index finger, she holds her breath. She wishes so badly more than ever she could see him. Read the look in his eyes, the curve of his mouth, his laugh lines. Roz wishes so badly she could see him and is at the same time, more than grateful she can no longer see what she can't have.

A beat passes and they breathe together, Harvey feels a tug on his heart and a warmth that burns from his chest to his stomach, it spreads like a wildfire. Then he feels a tug on his hand, more specifically his index finger. Sabrina his mind rings out, putting out the fire in his chest with a swift feeling of guilt taking over his gut. Sabrina had pulled on the yarn signaling the time they had left.

Harvey drops his hands from her face and pulls Roz up, and tugs on her left hand and leads them back out following the string. Roz's heart skipping a beat and feeling heavy with every passing step and turn.

They make it out of the cave and the smell of Sabrina's citrus shampoo wakes her from her spell when her best friend takes her in to her arms. The seemingly endless stream of tears roll down her face once again and her eyes shut close breathing in the scent of her. Sabrina her best friend since she was 6, was embracing her like she was her life line right after she almost kissed her boyfriend. "Its okay, Your okay, You made it out, You did it." She hears Sabrina's voice whisper and Ros feels her eyes shut tighter holding her friend for dear life.

Roz feels Susie's small arms wrap around then both, and a sad smile rests on her face. She feels Harvey's eyes on her like a ray of light, she can't see it but knows the weight of his gaze, right down to the bone, it makes her shiver, must be my cunning, Roz thinks, she hopes.

When they finally let go, and Susie asks her for the millionth time if she's really okay, Roz hears Sabrina swarm Harvey with deep kisses, the rustling of fabric and smacking of lips the main indicator. Roz's eyes find their way downward when she feels Harvey's gaze again, with Sabrina in his arms, it's almost as if the wind whispers with his eyes. A phrase finds it's way between them again,

I'm sorry.

***

"So you can see the future right?"

"Well not exclusively, sometimes things from the the past and things happening around me now that I wouldn't know about if I didn't have the cunning." Roz tells Harvey, as the sunlight glistens into his room through the cracks of the dark curtains. It's a regular Sunday morning, they had to study for an English test, a break was needed and here she was adjusting the crossed position of her leg on his bed feeling it fall asleep as he absorbs the information. Harvey's across from her on his bed, mirroring her position.

"I wanna know about my future. And I know based on what you just told me that might not be what you see, but I still wanna know." He tells her, eyes alight with a renewed hope.

Roz face contorts to one of caution, " I don't know Harvey, I mean I think letting people know they're future is kind of dangerous don't you think?"

Harvey thinks about it for a second, "Okay so how about this if you think it's something I think I can live without knowing, don't tell me." Roz snorts at his request.

"That's so general how will I know what to tell you?" She exclaims crossing her arms.

"Something I can live with out knowing Roz, hello if I die! Duh." Harvey responds, stating the obvious. He notices her persistent hesitance, "Look you don't have to do it if you're not comfortable." He says in a gentle voice.

"It's not that I just hadn't...thought about you dying is all." She says with a frown on her face.

"I was only kidding Roz, I'm only asking you because I trust you." She can feel his eyes on her again burning through her greys, shame I'll never get to see them Susie always mentions how hot they are. Roz mulls it over in her head again, the pros and cons and ultimately, "I'll do it." She nods before she can talk her self out of it.

"Really? Okay so what do you have to do? Touch me, right? Be careful Roz, I'm spoken for." Harvey says with a playful smirk.

"Famous last words Kinkle, watch it." Roz replies just about sick of him, she imagines the sunlight bounces of his brown hair and how his smile is probably that much brighter because of it and shes just about sick of that too.

She adjusts her legs again and tries to get comfortable, she takes his hand and takes a deep breath, Harvey's even closed his eyes for good measure, "Okay I'm seeing something." She says in a serious tone.

Harveys eyes pop open and he exclaims in excitement, "What?!"

Roz's eyes are still closed and her eye brows furrow, "I see...a bright light...fog...water and oh my- Harvey!"

"What?! What do you see Roz." He says grip on her hand tightening, "I see...aliens! There comin-" she's tackled by Harvey and her giggles interrupt her false proclaims.

"Aliens really Roz?" Harvey says as he sits up a soft smile resting on his features. He pokes her face until she answers, "Really?!"

Roz' giggles don't cease even when she speaks, "That's for the comment." She breathes out, readying her body for an actual reading "Okay, I'm ready to actually tell you now, sorry" Roz says reaching out her hand.

"No your not" Harvey says indignantly taking her hand with a false sour expression, Roz feels her face light up with a warm smile. "Your right I'm not." She takes a deep breath, in. Out, brushing off the memory of the soft hand on her face in the mines, she takes his hand.

"How do you know it's gonna be a girl?" Roz hears a voice echoing in her mind, it's mature and familiar. The view gets easier to see the more she focuses. There's two people sitting on a couch, a woman and a man. She's pregnant.

"Because I just know." He responds, Roz can see his face clearer now, it's Harvey. He's wearing a blue collared shirt and jeans, his brown hair is cut short and he has facial hair; scruff. He reaches out to touch the woman very pregnant stomach.

"So you had Sabrina give Ambrose a call and do his witchy pregnancy gender test thing." Roz realizes why the voice sounds so familiar it's her, Staring at her own future. What the-

"Yep. I mean no-" Harvey sighs as Roz gives him a look, "Okay so I did but I really wanted to know, I couldn't wait until after the baby was born."

"Uh yeah you could've then it would've been like we'd agreed." Roz hears her self say as she pouts at him.

"Come on babe when have we ever done something according to plan?" Harvey pouts back and they meet in the middle faces inches apart.

Roz hears herself sigh somehow in content and exasperation, "You're lucky your cute." She says and their lips finally meet, it's a sweet slow kiss, she feels she's intruding on something even though it's her.

Harvey cups her face as their lips part and looks at her like she's his world as his other hand finds her stomach, Roz looks at her self smiling so big, she doesn't even remember the last time she smiled like that and her heart feels heavy.

"No more calling Sabrina for this type of stuff okay, she's high priestess now. She doesn't have time to make pregnancy house calls." Roz says putting her pointer finger to Harvey's chest making her case known. His hands go up in surrender "okay okay. Just as long as you don't go texting Susie every time the baby kicks, she's on her book tour. She doesn't need he distraction."

"What? I don't do it everytime , I mean-" now Harvey gives her a look and he laughs at his wife's shocked expression, her diamond ring glistens in the sun as he takes her hand. "Honey she told me to tell you to slow down a little bit with the baby talk, you can still talk to her about it, absolutely. But your kinda driving her crazy. Please don't kill me." He says with a flinch proceeding with caution not wanting to test his wife's mood swings.

Roz watches herself look away from her husband in shock, still holding his hand, "well at least I got yo- woah she's eager in there." Roz suddenly feels a fluttering in her stomach and she touches the flat surface, she looks back up at the future version of her. Her and Harvey cooing at their future child, hands interlocked at the stomach.

Roz gasps, opening her eyes, waiting to hear Harvey's voice, "Roz you okay? What happened? What did you see?" He asks as she breathes deeply, wanting more than anything to see those soft brown eyes again, but I guess those eyes are gonna spend the rest of their life looking at me, Roz thinks taken back by the outcome.

She feels Harvey's hesitance to touch her again and his concern so he turns her face toward him, "What happened?"

Roz finds herself smiling, there maybe a million obstacles between them now but shes not going to add one by risking it not happening in telling him what she saw so she leaves it at, "Just something you can live without." She says as she leaves his room.

A beat passes and he jogs behind her trailing to catch up. "What the hell does that mean?"

If only you knew Harvey Kinkle, if only you knew.