#me NGL so i thought you might just die if i did this in front of you y'know? plus it's fun' sksks LMAO

[mad-hunts]

i'm afraid barton-core is jump-scaring someone who's investigating him by laying across a couch in their house like 'one of your french girls' and staying like that until they get home + pulling a gun on them the instant they turn on the light (barton thinks he's funny by doing shit like this, y'all, and wellll... i think it might be if he wasn't threatening their life ☠️ like WTF LMAO)

[headcanonenthusiast]

Alex Keller NSFW headcanons 

This was made with both masc and fem readers in mind. This man really has absolutely no content out there, so I'm here to provide for y'all 😎 Enjoy! (Also, sorry if this is a little dry. It's my first time posting headcanons 😔)

(I completely understand that this type of content is not everyone's cup of tea, and that's ok! But, please scroll and ignore if this type of content isn't your thing as opposed to leaving any sort of negative comments.) 

NSFW under the cut

-An absolute GOD at oral sex. He'll eat the pussy/suck dick as if he were famished

-Please smother him with your thighs when he eats you out/sucks you off. He'll be absolutely devastated if you don't. Doesn't care what your body type is, do it and he'll be happy for the rest of the week

"Fuckin smother me with those thighs, baby. What? No, no, don't you worry about me suffocating. If I do, then at least I'll die a happy man." 

-And if you look at him with any hint of unamusement, he'll chuckle and kiss your inner thigh. 

-Pays special attention to your clit/tip. He'll kiss at and slowly run his fingertips over it while complimenting your body. 

-"Look at this pretty little pussy/cock, baby. So adorable." 

-HEAVY on praise. Everything that falls from his mouth is either a moan or praise for you. 

-"Aw, fuck, dolly. You're taking me so well. Such a good girl/boy." 

-Prefers handjobs as opposed to head. Doesn't think you're bad at it or anything, just wants you to be able to respond to him when he talks.

-May not be big on head, but kiss his cock while your hands are wrapped around it and he might just cum right then and there. 

-Not very kinky at all, but he may have a bit of a breeding kink ngl..

-Mostly because he actually wants kids. Whether you can have them or not, he'll beg to fill you up. 

-Absolutely not a degrader. He'd feel way too bad. 

-If you really begged him, he might try degrading you, but that'll all melt away in five seconds as he gently kisses your face in apology, even if you're getting into it. 

"Oh, sunshine, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it. Just don't think I could degrade someone so gorgeous/handsome." 

-Very vocal, but mostly with talking. He 100% talks you through it 

"Lift your leg up a little bit for me, baby. There we go, good girl/boy." 

-If you're insecure about your body in any way, he'll carefully run his fingertips over whatever's making you insecure while fingering/jerking you off in front of a mirror. 

-"Look at that amazing body, sweetheart. Takes me so well, makes me cum everytime..so beautiful/handsome. How could you hate a body like that, hm?" 

-"Hell you mean you're too chubby/skinny? You're the perfect size for me, darling." 

-Kisses and caresses any scars, stretchmarks, birthmarks or anything else on your body you may feel self-conscious about.

-If you space out at any point, or if he just wants your eyes on him, he'll click his tongue to snap you out of your thoughts. 

-Constantly asking if you're alright. If you ever start crying during the act, he'll stop in his tracks and fuss over you. 

"Oh God, are you okay? Did I hurt you, sunshine? Too rough?" 

-Then when you convince him that you were just crying because of how good he's fucking you, he sighs in relief and chuckles a little. 

"Silly girl/boy. Had me all scared for a sec." 

-Will leave hickeys on you and will let you do it to him, but always somewhere noone else will see. You're his precious dolly, afterall. Why would Alex ever embarass you over making those marks visible? 

-Besides, with the way he's got his arm snaked around your waist in public, everyone knows you're his 

-Leaves hickeys on your chest, thighs and stomach (will definitely leave more on your thighs/belly if you're chubbier.) 

-Tickles your neck with his facial hair on purpose and smirks when it makes you giggle. 

-Has a lighthearted mindset about sex. Not opposed to making jokes and giggling during, before or after the act. As long as you're both feeling good, he's happy.  

-Tells you that your pussy/dick/ass is the best in the world. Genuinely can't get enough of it. 

"Shit, baby. This fuckin' pussy/ass is gonna make me cum..you wanna make me cum, baby? Yeah? Keep riding me then..just like that." 

-Favorite positions are ones where you're on his lap. It feels so intimate and loving, the way he can feel your grip tighten on his shoulders and see every reaction you make as his cock smoothly fucks you. 

-Mostly quite gentle. Will go harder if you want, but he's very cautious not to hurt you at all. 

-Can easily be top or bottom. Just depends on his partner wants. If you're a top? He'll gladly let you do whatever you want. Bottom? He'll take care of all your needs and desires. Switch? He's happy to flip-flop around until you're happy. 

-Makes you use your words. Rarely does things without you begging for it beforehand. 

-"Come on, darling. You know you have to beg for what you want." 

-Honestly a bit of a teaser. He'll get a big smirk on his face when you just whine to get fucked instead of asking properly. Clicks his tongue and gives a super dramatic shake of his head 

-"Oh, baby doll. That's not how we ask for things. Speak up, love. Loud and clear." 

- Can't deny you for long, though. The moment you beg he's all over you. 

-Big on eye contact. Will turn your face towards him and give you his best puppy dog eyes until your eyes stay on him

-Your pleasure always comes first 

-4 inches soft, 6 inches hard and fat asf (lord have mercy 🙏🙏) 

-Aftercare is just as good as the sex. He'll run a warm bath/shower either you alone or the both of you and carefully wash whatever he can reach while sitting behind you. 

-"You did great, baby. You alright? Not sore, are ya?" "Good, good. My perfect princess/prince." 

-Then when you're both done washing up, you'd better drag your ass back to bed for one (or more) of the following: 

-#1: Cuddles

-#2: Movie/show marathon 

-#3: Round 2 >:) 

My first headcanons done! I'm sure y'all can tell that I'm an Alex girlie but honestly this man is so FINE 😫 how can I not be? I'll def make some SFW and Alex x chubby reader headcanons later, dw.

Let me know who I should do next! 

[kandadze]

Ep 30 loose thoughts

Whoo boy, I'm scared.

Wow, ZYC's words really hit LL *hard*. Still not sure if it's going to be enough for him to stop being a malice, quitting cold turkey rarely actually works.

ZYZ waiting for him... I immediately got distracted by the fact that there seems to be a weiqi board between them?! How about you just play a round instead of killing each other?

Yet another scene we've already seen in the MV... ZYZ gifting LL the Truth Eye. (I've watched it so many times I'm literally trying to predict the ending by piecing together the scenes we weren't shown in the eps so far 😅)

Oh dear, it's like whatever they try to say, it comes out wrong. Their worldviews are so different, they're bound to misunderstand each other no matter how much they might still love each other.

It breaks my heart that ZYZ is still hoping for a draw. This demon loves and loves and loves in spite of everything. 😭

Oh but I do kinda get how LL's tentative hope got crushed here. He so desperately wants to live and mean something to ZYZ, he will not see leaving Bai Jiu's body as an atonement - he'll see ZYZ's requesting it, without any alternative, as yet another proof that ZYZ doesn't care about what's going to happen to *him*.

Isn't ZYZ supposed to be the strongest demon or something? Don't tell me he's poisoned as well!

HUH??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE LOST ALL HIS DEMONIC POWER??? How? When???

Explain yourselves ffs!

Oh no PSJ just watched her brother die in front of her for the third time... 😭

Oof the whole sequence hurt like a bitch, Lin Ziye hit it out of the ballpark with his acting yet again, and I very much love how this was a team effort instead of the two great demons showdown... But ngl I feel like Bai Yan was completely useless. You're a fucking tree spirit as old as the gods! Why aren't you helping???

*Now* you're whipping out the goddamn root??? I think you could've presented it as an option for him *while* asking him to vacate Bai Jiu's body, he *was* open to suggestions! (I love the dramatic fight scenes as much as the next guy, but now in the light of this new info it seems to me that *this* particular fight - AND THE RESULTING DEATHS - was potentially completely unnecessary??? Once this is all over can you please take some time to work on your communication skills, people!) But also fuck this guy, he'd said he was not going to hurt Ying Lei! Dishonor on him and his goddamn cows!

ZYZ, you big ol' softie!!! (But also, this changes my understanding of the scene at the creation stone somewhat... let's see if they expand on this in any way.)

NO, YING LEIIIIII!!!! 😭 I *wish* ZYC had healing powers omg this was so rude!!! (Also not his last words being his encouragement to Bai Jiu!!! Who's not even conscious at this point!!! 😭😭😭)

"This time we draw." You mofos!!!

This still doesn't explain anything about *why* all his demonic power is gone. Did he use it all up to restore the sword? Is it because he was the only source of power that the creation stone could draw from this time, as opposed to when he rebuilt the tower - with LL?

They're back to breaking my heart with their bond and the - rather one-sided at this point - bickering. Scold him, ZYC, you'll both feel better!

Bai Jiu, this poor kid, I can't even begin to imagine what he's going through right now. Even with ZYC there, the weight on him must be enormous. (I hope someone goes to PSJ as well...) Aaaand they made me cry again. Ying Lei understood humans so well! Food can totally be a love language. And he used his powers to make sure the easily perishable snack he made for Bai Jiu wouldn't spoil!!! 😭😭😭

I'm glad they showed us WX doing her best to comfort PSJ. I love that they showed us that PSJ does have the very human wish to be special in some way, to feel needed and accepted, and how having that can translate into strength to protect and make sacrifices in return. I hope she goes back to kicking ass real soon.

After "this"??? Whatever the heck do you mean, ZYC? Are you planning on offing yourself to heal WX? (I know that ZYZ would have totally done it already, save for the tiny issue of having no demonic power at the moment...) Yeah, this totally sounds as if he was saying his goodbyes ffs

ZYZ is a vision in this white outfit and with the light pouring onto him from above. Also, ZYC reaching out to him like *that* yet again. It was almost enough to distract me from the fact that they seem to be withholding info about the poison from each other, without realizing that they both already know. What are you two planning, you self-sacrificial idiots???

Whew okay, this was a ride and a half. Onto ep 31 since apparently I have access to it, and I'd rather break my heart in one go instead of prolonging the agony. This way I can bawl my eyes out for the rest of the weekend and still appear functional at work on Monday.

[fandoomrants]

Finally, tua s4, ep 6 thoughts.

(I did write it, even tho I'm not too happy!)

(Might share overall opinion of the show tomorrow, or might keep my silence forever...)

Heads up, spoilers

-Oh, finally a longer episode. Only 10-15 minutes but eh....

-I kinda feel like we won't get all the answers to the questions still unanswered.

-Or well, the questions I had, at least.

-Ok but what are they expecting with this Cleanse?! Return the timeline?? Which one??

-Also, good think for once it's not Viktor ending the world..

-Ew, is that Ben's face?!

-Is Reginald aware what his wife is up to?

-Diego and Luther are dressed ridiculously 😬😬

-Hurts me to listen to Diego speak about Lila so lovingly....

-Good that Luther is gonna dress 😬😬

-"Monkey legs" 😬😬

-"Gene" and Reginald arguing 😬😬 So obvs he has no idea.

-Oh, nooo, it is Ben!

-And now "Gene" and Jean arguing.

-Ok, this escalated quickly...

-Oh, ok, Five and Lila finally returned...

-Oh, so Five is aware it's only been hours...

-Awkwarddd reunionnn.

-I'm kinda sad for Five but I'm also still mad about what happened...

-Klaus casually sharing being digged out from a grave...

-Lila so happy to see Allison, lol.

-Smart move from Viktor with the "tattoo"!

-I feel like Reggie is still gonna betray him, thoo.

-Why do I feel like this season is much more gore-y?

-Ouch. Ben looks....bad 😬😬 Jennifer isn't better either.

-Oh, Ben suddenly didn't mean to yell? Since when?

-Oh, great, the family is fighting again...

-And Diego saw the bracelet....

-Klaus, Allison and Luther watching the whole thing as if it's some TV drama 😬😬

-Yeah, Klaus, nobody saw that one coming...

-Not the kind repeating the word 😂😂😂😂

-NGL, wondered the same, tho.

-I mean, it really is unbelievable...

-Also, can't believe this is happening in front of EVERYONE. Kids, family, etc.

-Five's eyes say he actually loves her...

-"Hey, stupid grown ups". True!

-Indeed father of the year...

-Oh, no.

-Oh, great, Diego's car is just like mine 😬😬😬

-"Seriously", indeed.

-Why do I feel like if someone's gonna die, it might be Viktor? :/ (Ben probably too but not because of the shooting)

-What was that random... Memory or sth??

-Someone could have stopped this bullet. (Ahem, Diego).

-"They might still be alive in there...."

-Aw, Allison helping Viktor!

-I was just wondering what happened with Lila's eye lasers...

-Don't fight now, idiots..

-Luther, what are you thinking.... (I've honestly wondered this for 4 seasons...)

-I think the more they attack it, the more it grows...

-Wtf, Five just left?!?

-Hope he'll come back!

-Klaus sliding!

-Is Five finally gonna go back and fix things?!

-"Time to face the inevitable", tbh, fair. It's not like they didn't do this.

-"Gene", acting all romantic 😂😂😂

-She shouldn't have removed the... Skin?

-It would have made the scene hilarious!

-Well, she's right. She died because she had to, look what happened now...

-Tbh, she didn't make it "right", destroying the world...

-Wait, this isn't gonna be the actual end, right?!? There's like, half an hour more! Can't be half an hour of Five moping...

-Oh, so many Fives...

-"We did!"

-Ok, so what, they never save the world...

-Not that I didn't expect it but...

-Ok, at least the Comission thing is explained...

-I believe in this Five succeeding!!!

-So what, they gotta die or sth....? Or like, not exist?

-I mean, at this point.... Everything is to shit so....

-Well, it's true, Lila can't go...

-Yeah, what's he doing there?

-Oh, good she walked out...

-Love how they shut Luther down, lol.

-Bruhhhh, Viktor, they barely cared for you as a family...

-They were always together in the end, tho...

-Klaus was right! 😅

-Oh, well.... We did see some familiar faces in the end....

[starswallowingsea]

okay i just finished sleep tight by jh markert and christ alive what the fuck was that. i gave it 1.75/5 on storygraph and 2 stars on goodreads bc like. girl.

so the first thing is like. the most minor thing i'm going to complain about but it definitely needed one last line by line edit. how did they fuck up the daughter's name at the end and call her julie instead of julia when julie hadn't been an established nickname for her. there were a bunch of other lines that just felt like they were repeating what we already knew or didn't need to be there like we didnt need a line saying "that tess already knew because noah had told them in the car" <- not exact idc enough to go back and look but we know. we were THERE you do not have to remind us that they know this information okay.

now onto the rest of the book. so the concept is that after serial killer posing as a priest to lure victims in is executed by the state, a cult that formed around him decides they're going to get revenge on the people who locked him up and ultimately revealed that they're going to revive him with the help of the real mastermind. which i thought the serial killer priest would have been cooler than it was but whatevs thats on me. howeverrrrrrrr one of the early chapters was from the pov of a gravedigger/grave security guy and he talks about the group he just joined but explicitly called it a cult which was so. the word cult is very loaded and high control groups do not like to use it for themselves because of that and they'll use something else like group or religion for their cult even if people on the outside are calling it a cult. have you ever met an mlm girly like come on.

the mystery itself was laid out decently enough with the eyes and not so subtle hints that were dropped but the worst part of this was the fucking weird ass attempt at portraying DID. I am going to give markert the benefit of the doubt that he was trying his best and anyone reading this review who has DID is free to comment on this but i am not under the impression that most people know when a new alter fronts and that voices don't really change especially around strangers. also other than oskar and ruth, all of noah's alters were real people and 5 of them were people who he watched die and he just took on their personalities in his head and they don't age because the people they were based on stopped aging (ie died). they talked about it like he just absorbed their souls into his headspace??? and yes they could tell when someone switched to front because of his voice and like. the fact that two of them wear glasses and will put them on to front. i might be wrong and again correct me if i am but this does not seem like how it works when systems meet strangers for the first time especially ones that get violent and upset when they cant get the alter they want to front to front.

sticking with the theme of weird insensitivities about trauma, why was fuckhead justin so insistent that tess needed to forceably relive her trauma (which was revealed at the end of the book and ngl kinda anticlimactic) to try and fill in gaps in her memory from when she was 13 because it made him upset? like dude she probably shouldn't be doing that if she doesn't want to its buried for a reason leave her alone!! and the fact that their relationship went back to business as usual after everything was so!!!!! i think they should have gotten divorced anyway there is no way this is going to work out long term sorry.

and finally i get that american police just shoot indiscriminately but killing benjamin in front of 11 young children seemed kinda unnecessary. especially when they were crowded around him and could easily have been caught in the crossfire but magically weren't and the bullets only hit ben. sorry but at least one of those kids should have had some sort of gun related injury from that if not more if you were going to kill ben.

[danganronpafan777]

Are you on chapter 6 of danganmon yett

Just finished it!! Gonna binge the finale tomorrow!

Here’s my reactions:

New headmaster?! Oh shit-

Monomoth’s design is so freaking pretty

“Do you think we’re modeled to look like Pokémon?”

BRO WHAT??

Idk what suprised me more, the fact Juno made this connection or that they’re actually self aware

Cyrillo’s shocked face at Apollo’s idea of them all being Pokémon turned humans is v suspicious 🤨 

^That was my theory, but I didn’t think they all knew what Pokémon were (If this was mentioned or cleared up in an earlier chapter then my bad)

So Monoloin is Pearl from the Pikachi story? No way a Pikachu character is the mastermind

She says that she’s fighting for herself, but I thought Monoloin was fighting for Sylvia? Hope their bond gets explored more, but I feel like one of them will be the victim

THEIR SELLING THE BODIES??? WTFFF

Pearl dropped that bomb so casually too

What is that organization doing with the corpses? Vivisection??

What did Pearl mean by “You brought yourself here”?? Everyone got amnesia rn remember?

Hope Cyrillo’s sister is okay, but she probably dead :(

YTTD reference :0

Pearl covering for Kami, redemption arc inbound! (She’s gonna die)

Cyrillo really turned into Kokichi for a second about Kami’s lie about the monpads (ngl I’m here for it)

Yeah, with the making food for everyone suddenly… I agree with Zoro, Cyrillo is acting strange… it’s either despair disease or he going delulu 

And now Kami is suspicious… did she kill someone the night before? She had way too many “…”s in her blue text 

The Cyrus fte is honestly my fav fte so far

Pearl ain’t no snitch lmao (Cyrillo prob a traitor/mastermind tho)

The beauty and the Beast furniture (The teacup and teapot, candlestick, and clock) and the Be Our Guest message in Cyrillo’s motive isn’t making bro more innocent (Beauty and the Beast also takes place in France-)

Could the Monomoth walking by have been an illusion? 

Aww, would’ve been nice to have a Kami x Roxanne sleepover (I swear if Roxanne dies I’ll cry I ship them)

NOOOOOO ZORO DUCK BOI NO 😭😭

Apollo’s reaction hurts… his character be changing like the seasons, but damn he finally had a friend

I think Kami is the killer, cuz she’s been acting sketchy (And mentions going in the vents twice. The first was during the first murder, but when’s the second?)

Cyrillo definitely saw either Kami or Zoro

The vent entrances on Sylvia’s map are the hall opposite of Kami’s room… so could Zoro have used the vent? 

Everyone looks like the same height, so outside of Kami, the only other short student I can think of is Juno

Kami saying that she’s sentencing everyone to a terrible fate in her monologue… that screams blackened to me 😭 

WHY ARE THERE NEW ROXANNE SPRITES?? I got a bad feeling but damn they look good 

What the duck boi doin??

Roxanne just be salty about being rejected

OOOH SHIT SOMEONE ELSE DIED??

The minute they mentioned eye contacts I knew it was Roxanne 😭😭 

Kami losing gfs like Makoto, and Zoro really pulling a Tsumugi??

Kami gonna have survivors guilt for saying no to the sleepover… How did I not see Roxanne’s death flag at that??

Apollo looked so happy talking to Zoro unaware in the closing argument. Idc if duck boy is a traitor, just let him have genuinely cared for Apollo pls…

OMG WHAT IF ZORO DISGUISED HIMSELF AS KAMI?? And that’s why Roxanne didn’t bring her syringe?? I’m still mad about the changing into Sam thing in front of Faust, but if Zoro did this imma be pissed

I’m lowkey for the cy-fi closing argument tho

ZORO WAS DOING MORE MASTERMIND SHIT THEN PEARL WTF

When he says he did it to protect the one he cares about most, my first thought was Apollo, but it might also be his only family member 

Pop off Apollo! His character unpredictable as hell, but still great :)

Idk, I hate the things Zoro did, but I still really like his character. It feels depressingly in character for the lack of closure in regards to his backstory/overall motive

Apollo apologizing for the second trial is the only good thing to come out of that execution jfc

“He used to be nice, even at the beginning of the killing game. Then she died and…”

??? The mastermind used to be nice, even at the beginning of the kg? The Pearl story is fucking me up, but could Maria be the “she” who died? (Cuz she’s been the least relevant character so far-)

With Pearl, the mastermind (confirmed a guy/“Little Pichu”) and another guy (Victor??)

It really took Roxanne being penetrated by a dozen rods for her to realize she was bi (I felt like Miu writing this, I’m so sorry-)

Zoro really just dropped everything and said to them, “You may now ask questions”

The camera just HAD to die huh…

Overall, this is definitely my favorite class trial so far. Awesome chapter 

I love Monomoth sm and Pearl is growing on me a lot more

[yakumtsaki]

Boy do I feel iVan when it comes to this wolfwatching crap, I am OVER IT. I actually went back and checked how long it’s been that I’ve been trying to turn Jojo into a werewolf and it turns out I STARTED IN 2018. It’s literally been two Olympics, absolutely pathetic. Ok Jojo you are 200yo at this point, I really think it’s time for us to give this up and let you die with dignity.

-I’ve never done anything with dignity and I’m not about to start now!

Meanwhile, being disinherited in favor of her wife has reignited the passion in Shajar’s heart.

-Oh darling, I can’t believe you already have a new diabolical plan! It was only last night that you stole my inheritance! You’re a genius!🖤

-Don’t I know it!

Sophie can you just chill with your 20 top-careered pets, your massive lawyer pension, and all of Jojo’s money? What more could you possibly want??

-Oh I’ll tell you what I want, I want Sugar out of here!

Aw come on, he’s not that bad!

-He killed Sandy!

You hated Sandy! You literally danced on her grave!  

-Ya that’s not it, she thinks with Sugar here Sophito’s heirship is disputed.

-SHAJAR YOU GODDAMN IDIOT DON’T TELL HER THAT

 OMG SOPHIE WHO CARES

-I CARE. Now fuck outta here so we can have geriatric relations in our front yard!

-Listen, honey-

-You’ve never called me ‘honey’ before.

-Yes I have, I’m a very affectionate mother.

-No, I mean you LITERALLY have never in my life called-

-LISTEN HERE, BRAT. There, was that better?? Now, you know how much I love your cousin Sugar-

-Don’t you always say Aunt Cyn should have kept the placenta instead of him?

-Well the placenta is very nutritious. As I was saying, even though I love having Sugar around, I think the best thing for him is to leave and make a life for himself.

-Yes, I completely agree, that boy is a liability!

-Grandpa, where did you come from? 

-From another room, I definitely wasn’t hiding behind the fridge.

-Won’t Sugar have a hard time living alone?

-He should have thought of that before he destroyed his marriage!

-Didn’t you have an affair with Max Flexor?

-Yes but I wasn’t stupid enough to get caught! 

-I don’t know guys, I feel like you two have another agenda.

-Us?? An agenda???

-HAHAHA oh son, you are funny! It will be a cold day in Hell when your grandpa and I are not completely honest and selfless! 

-Hey guys, did you tell him about kicking Sugar out on his ass yet? 

-GET OUT OF HERE, SHAJAR

-So Mom and Grandpa want me to kick out Sugar.

-What? And who will change the baby’s diapers?? iVan who’s having a mental breakdown???

-𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙰𝙻𝙻 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙶𝙸𝚁𝙻𝚂 𝚂𝙰𝚈 𝙸'𝙼 𝙿𝚁𝙴𝚃𝚃𝚈 𝙵𝙻𝚈 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝙰𝙽 𝙰𝙸🎵

Ngl, I am starting to feel living in our crypt might not be the best lifepath for Sugar. I mean he doesn’t even have a roommate after, you know, he killed Sandy. Ok Sugar, I’m gonna give you one more chance at a family..

..it’s over for you, Matthew Picaso! That’s what you get for pissing me off that time Sophito kept asking you out. 

-JESSICA HOW COULD CHEAT ON ME WITH THIS FREAKSHOW

-I COULDNT HELP IT MATTHEW, WE HAVE THE SAME FACE TEMPLATE. IT WAS FATE

-Jess, I know this is fast as you got divorced 2 hours ago, but when you know, you know! Marry me and let’s fill this neighborhood with our face template!

-Oh Sugar, of course I will! 

-It’s happening. It’s finally happening. I’M SO HAPPY

Ok Jojo calm down.

-I CAN’T.

I gave Jess a nice gothic makeover and moved them into this beautiful Victorian house I of course didn’t build-

-and it’s wedding time!

-OH GOD THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE

We adopted a bunch of pets from Wulf..

..and even Claire (who has a hot new look and a great life which I will cover in the next spare update) shockingly agreed to come over and let bygones be bygones, guaranteeing a more normal co-parenting situation than Sugar barging in her house to beat up Wilfred. Magnanimous queen!

-I’m literally too rich and successful to hold grudges, getting divorced from Sugar was the best thing to ever happen to me!

LOL. Well point is everything was going well-

-AND THEN SUGAR TRIED TO HAVE ANOTHER AUTONOMOUS AFFAIR WITH SOMEONE HE BROUGHT HOME FROM WORK. SUGAR WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM. WHO DOES THIS IN FRONT OF THEIR WIFE, THAT COWORKER DOESNT EVEN LIKE YOU

-I DON’T CARE. I’M NOT MADE FOR MARRIAGE I CAN’T DO IT

HOLY HELL

-GET OUT OF HERE ASSHOLE I CAN’T BELIEVE I RUINED MY MARRIAGE FOR YOU

-OH NOOOOO I’M SO SAD. Don’t worry my bags are already packed!

-Welcome back bro, don’t worry, you’ll always be in the Dean’s List of my heart! 

-NO. NO. YOU WERE GONE. I WATCHED YOU LEAVE. GO BACK TO YOUR WIFE RIGHT NOW

-I AM WIFELESS AND I’M NEVER LEAVING AGAIN. I WILL DIE RIGHT WHERE I WAS BORN: IN YOUR FRONT YARD

-YOU’LL DIE SOONER THAN YOU THINK IF YOU DONT GET THE FUCK OUT

-SOPHITO IS THE DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED HEIR AND HE SAID I’M WELCOME TO STAY. YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME

-WHY YOU DON-NOSED, TWICE-DIVORCED LITTLE BASTARD. GET OUT OF MY SIGHT

-I’M GOING BUT ONLY BECAUSE I WANT TO

-Aaaah, it’s good to be back in my crypt where I belong! Who should I marry and divorce next? Uncle Daniel’s wife is pretty hot. 

Sugar istg.

[thedawningofthehour]

doth!draxum is the type of villain you want to squeeze really tightly in your fist and scream at him in angry tears but at the same time acknowledge his absolute genius.

ngl i see a lot of fics with intentional holes in villains which the protagonists use to save the day and yada yada (which is still obviously important sometimes), or just blunt personality traits that do not add up to the character as a whole when you think about it; like "oh, i, draxum, will hate the very beings i have created and treat them like absolute shit just because i can, despite the fact that if i treated them properly then they'd thrive and be open to whatever plans i have for them because they actually understand what i am doing for yokai and be met with little to no resistance and, /bonus/, have (some) kickass son(s)"

there are still a lot of good fics with this but. idk. it really just doesn't strike me as something draxum would do.

doth draxum is the complete opposite and is just so downright realistic. i haven't angrily loved a villain like this in a good while. fact, i dont even think villain is the right term, since what he's doing could potentially save both yokai and humankind alike from an even worse fate. reality sucks and draxum already knows that, and he taught galois that too. donnie just viewed it as draxum killing off the human race(might be wrong on that part since i need to go re-read) and didn't quite take in the actual crisis approaching.

what i just spewed might be literal bullshit but. it's my bullshit.

anywayssss love the writing sm can't wait for next chapter even if it'll break this poor little heart even more.

I don't want to start ragging on other writers/artists here. They had their own visions for how their creative works would look and Evil Draxum fit that. That's fine. It's just a different vibe than what I wanted, that's all.

I think the point a lot of Grimdark Draxum people get hung up on is the scene where he throws Leo off the roof, with the whole "I will not hesitate to destroy you" thing. (sidenote, I do not have Leo be salty about that NEARLY enough) From there, yeah, he does look like a ruthless villain who would do classically evil things just because he can.

But Draxum is one of those characters whose words say one thing and his actions say another. He does hesitate to destroy them. Not Leo, he legit thought Leo was going to die and didn't give a fuck, (in my canon he did this because Leo is his least favorite-he wouldn't have done it to the other three) but he deals with them all several times before coming to the conclusion that they have to die. And even after he assembles Evil Justice League and does a whole music number about killing them-he stands there and asks them to join him again. He has a group of pissed-off mutants at his back who all really hate the turtles and got all excited for murder. He's 100% willing to burn those bridges and piss those guys off if it means he doesn't have to kill his turtles. And even then, after giving them what he explicitly states is their final, point-of-no-return offer...he's out there trying to convince them again, using Lou Jitsu as an in with them. Draxum does not want them dead. He's willing to kill them, but it's established that Draxum is willing to sacrifice just about anything for his cause, so that's not saying much.

And then another thing is his behavior at the end of s1 when he gets close to the dark armor, with the whole kidnapping the boys and threatening to torture them to death in front of their father kind of thing. Yeah. That was fucked. I feel like the dark armor and the taunting of power really, really fucked with Draxum's head. In my canon Cass kind of snapped him out of that when she told him that the armor would all but kill him, and he realized how far gone he was. Cass and Gale kind of serve as good grounding points for him now.

Also, I just want to point out, this was the face Draxum made when he first laid eyes on his creations:

That is not the face of a man who is ambivalent about them dying.

So yeah, while Draxum's original plan for Donnie was not as fluffy and affectionate as what he ended up going with, it wasn't cruel. He would have still fed him well and made sure he was getting enough sleep because those things would have affected the quality of his work, he would have provided medical care because what use did he have for a sick or injured engineer? Taking care of Donnie was worth the extra time and expense because a healthy Donnie would be more productive and would do better work. Just in terms of numbers, it made more sense to be decent to him. There probably would have been some mental and physical abuse, but mostly just to make Donnie reliant on him and keep him from rebelling.

Also he still absolutely thinks of the change of plans as purely a numbers thing. It would simply produce better results of he did it like this. Feelings never came into play here. Baron Draxum does not get attached, especially not to turtles who cuss him out while strapped to his lab table.

Oh no, Draxum is 100% genociding the human race. He's willing to mutate some of them-mostly kids, because they aren't shitheads yet and he thinks they might be redeemable. This isn't exactly mercy-this is something real-life colonizers do to ethnic groups they're trying to destroy. Take their kids and make them 'their own'. That was the whole deal with residential schools and there are definitely people who utilize international adoption to 'save' and Christianize non-white babies. Draxum genuinely believes that humans are evil by virtue of being human. Most human adults are too corrupted, but he might be able to save some of them by mutating them, and the children deserve a chance to be saved.

It just kind of goes to show what a shit situation we're in that That is actually something that could halt the impending mass extinction event caused by climate change.

[yanderelovlies]

More skyrim AU with Dante?

Note: I miss the skyrim au ngl

Fandom(s): DMC

character(s): Dante Sparda

Au: Skyrim Au

How did this go wrong? It was a simply courier job. Getting some important artifacts to the College in Winterhold. Seeing as it was something simple, you allowed your companions to stay at your home for some over due rest. However, now that you were being held upside down without a means to defend yourself by the largest frost giant you have ever seen, you wished differently.

Your kicks to its chest and scratching at the hand did nothing but anger the beast, causing it to slam you down hard on the ground. You heard a crack as it held you back up, flailing your body wildly. You could feel something warm flow from the back of your head, to the front, and on to the muddy snow below.

Gods this really was the end for you, wasn't it? This really wasn't how you saw yourself dying. You groaned, feeling your eyes began to shut. Maybe it will be quick, and you can finally meet them in sovngarde again. Just as you began to black out, you could hear someone yell before the frost trolls grip loosened, making your body fall to the floor again, knocking you out completely.

.

All you could feel was pain as you came into consciousness. You let out a groan, your eyes slowly opening. When it focuses you, noticed you aren't looking at the sky or ground, but the inside of a tent. As you try to get up, you hear someone enter the tent before dropping something and running to your side.

"Hey, hey, hey angel, you need to lay back down."

You could feel warm hands on your shoulders, making you look at the source. "D-Dante....?" Your voice was a raspy whisper, but Dante didn't seem to have problems hearing you as he smiled in return.

"The one and only. Now come on lat back down." He gently laid you back before readjusting the blanket on you. He then went back to the entrance to pick up the things he dropped. "I've brought back things to help your pain. Just give me a bit to mix it all together."

You watched him work for a bit before asking him what was weighing on you. "How did we get here? I thought I-" You began to cough making Dante turn back to you.

He quickly turned back around, grabbing his tankard full of water and bringing it to you. He helped you sit up again, rubbing your back. When you coughing finally calmed, he brought the edge of the tankard to your lips, gently helping drink. "Die? Well, you would have if I didn't feel something was wrong from the start."

Once he pulled the tankard from your lips, you gave him a questioning look. He sighed, standing up and going back to the table he was working at. "Something about the whole thing felt off. So I kept an eye on you thanks to my father's heritage." Once the powder was ready, he mixed it into a bottle with some of the water from the tankard. "In your state, it was too risky to travel by magic, so here we are." He brings it to you doing the same thing he did with the tankard.

The bitter taste made you want to spit it out,but you knew better. So, instead, you cringed, trying not to focus on the taste. Once it was all down, you let out a loud sigh, glad it was over.

Dante chuckled, putting the bottle down. "It will take time for the medicine to set in. Once it does, you should be okay to heal yourself. Then we can get the oblivion out of here."

You nodded, playing back down. You closed your eyes, hoping to get some rest, but it never came. Instead, you could hear Dante shuffle around the tent while pain coursed through you. "....Dante..." You felt bad leaning on him so much, but you had no choice.

"Yeah, angel?" You heard him come to your side.

You tured to face him, opening your eyes to meet his silver ones. "I can't sleep....the pain it's too much...."

He hummed for a minute, his face showing his concern. "Well... I might have an idea, but I'm not sure you will like it."

"What is it?"

He sighed "Well Daedra has natural hot bodies almost scarily hot." He rubbed the back of his neck."Maybe the heat would help the pain. The downside is we would have to sleep in the same bedroll."

You watched for a couple of seconds. "Are you just trying to share a bedroll with me?"

"No! I mean, I would be lying if I said it wouldn't be nice, but that's not the reason. I just don't like seeing you in pain."

With the constant pulsing pain, you couldn't help but agree. You just wanted it to stand at least an acceptable amount. If that means you have to share a bedroll with Dante, you will do it.

"Okay, let me strip the rest of my armor so it's more comfortable." He leaves the tent for a few minutes before coming back with a long white tunic on. You laid on your side as he gingerly lays beside you. At first, you didn't think it was working until you felt him wrap his arms around. The heat from his body seeps into you, dulling some of the pain. "Better?"

All you could do was hum as you felt yourself drift off again

"Sleep well, Angel."

[genderlessghoul]

8, 15, 18

8 : Have you been to a ritual?

I haaaaave I was at the Bridgeport ritual on August 20th. It was actually on my sister's birthday, when I told her I wouldn't be there that day, she asked me why and I just sent her a Swiss gif. She was like "are you fuckin kidding me".

I'm Canadian and I got there by bus, spent 20h travelling to the show. Would do it again in a heartbeat. It was everything. I'll never stop bragging about playing rock paper scissors with Swiss and Phantom

15 : Favourite ghoul costume era?

THIS ONE WAS MEANT FOR ME I SO HOPED SOMEONE WOULD ASK.

Impera in a heartbeat, I live for complicated costumes with infinite amount of details. There's so much happening on those costumes when you take the time to study them it's INCREDIBLE. From the fabric choices that are all so rich and different, to the accessories that were thought through down to the literal buttons on the shirts, I cannot not love them.

I adore the vests, the shape in the front and the metal work they did for those clasps. They're so detailed for something that's never getting seen from up close I LOVE it! The choice of the fabric makes me feral too, I'm not much of a fan of paisley pattern on a regular basis but that one??? Gorgeous to no end. Also a pain in the ass to find but that's another story. Also the back of their jackets??? Please 😩😩😩

And the capes!!! I know they were so impractical for the guitar-playing ghouls but FUCK were they gorgeous on them 😩 the contrast of the light blue satin with the (I'm pretty sure) black suede??? Insane. Beautiful. Gorgeous. The harness system they came up with so the capes wouldn't move around too much is also very much to be admired.

And don't even get me started on the helmets, I mean the idea to change the masks for helmets in and of itself is brilliant. But the design itself is simply gorgeous, so different from what we'd seen before with Ghost. ESPECIALLY different from what we'd seen with Prequelle, that was essentially just a remix of the Meliora masks. The execution of the design is amazing and I loved the idea of personalizing the helmets to each ghoul, so sad they got rig of that in the middle of the European leg. If they decide to ditch Dew's white horns, I might actually start a riot ngl.

If I could be left alone in a room with one of those costumes for 10 fucking minutes I'd truly die happy. Okay I'll move on or else I'm never shutting up.

18 :Favourite Ghost shirt?

Not really a shirt but I just have to say my batwing hoodie. I bought it at my ritual and let me tell you I had DREAMT of that hoodie! It was a lot of fucking money but so worth it, it's comfy as fuck. I'm so glad I got the official Ghost one instead of byuing the cheaper Hot Topic one cuz the HT one doesn't have a grucifix on the zipper and the print in the back is not the same quality.

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

who says you're not getting an ask? because I'm giving you one right now!

anyway, I'm curious about Burn Fast, Burn Bright. not anything specific really, just surprise me ig. I love that fic of yours a whole lot as I'm sure I've stated to you before.

CAN WE GET ON WITH THIS?? TY!!! fic in question, which is OLD as HELL and I got second hand embarrassment from all the things I could’ve done better MAN. here are my thoughts before we get into it;

- this was the second fic I’d written for stanuary, and one of the longer fics I’ve written Ever actually. 15k words. I don’t know how I was able to produce so many words for these events ngl I hope I can redo that this year ANYWAY. first impressions? shallow angst. I think that’s what this is gonna be TO ME, because I’m the author and I hate myself. this was written almost a year ago… ough

- the descriptions will be Okay, but could be Better. I think I’ve gotten better at those hopefully.

- I was writing a lot of 80s angst during this time period and this was the second in that bunch. loose ties and ends, that one kid from jersey, unfortunate ends, like?? I was on a roll. what was wrong with me (still wrong with me)

- the gnomes are here? damn. I like gnomes

- oh that summary. already fucking me up

- I’m going in with the mindset that even at the time I knew that there was improvement to be had. This is my growing. I’m STILL growing. we can do this. I was still trying to find my groove. NOW LETS GOOOOOO

He’s left the damned duffel bag.

The one thing he had to take, and he’s left it behind. Stan has nothing to curse but his own self, because how is he so stupid as to not notice for a whole day? He’d spent the whole day driving through Oregon, hopping from gas station to gas station and it’s only now, the next morning, that he realizes there are no extra clothes to change into?

already onto a great start /genuine. an earlier draft had this to be a Lot more aggressive—using exclamation points and harsher language and shit, but once I realized that it would be a little odd that we start so strong, I toned it down. I think it gives a bit more of ‘resonate despondence’, which is very (sometimes) stan

Ford had always been bad at explaining things. He always expected the listener to know exactly what he’s talking about, be at his exact intelligence level, so that his ‘explaining’ could be understood with just a few words. 100% of the time, that isn’t the case.

literally me. best but of ford characterization someone could have conjured fr

okay already a detour but did you guys know I read my fics in my head in a VERY SPECIFIC tone, and that’s why most of the italicizations and em dashes exist? that’s why they’re there because if someone doesn’t read it the way I do I slowly die inside /silly I still do it today and I have to remind myself that I shouldn’t have to do everything for my reader. I should trust them.

(Yeah, Stan wants to let his anger out, but he’s not gonna kill the guy. Ford looks fragile enough as it is, and if he fights any harder he’ll probably break his leg or a rib. No point in damaging him, really.)

yes that’s so nice stan. you’re such a good brother dude oh my GOD IM—

this whole ford pleading scene here. here’s some bits;

“It…” Ford inhales deeply. “It’s not forever. I just need it away.”

“I don’t—Stan, I don’t want you to sail away to the ends of the Earth.”

“This—this, right here, I can’t do it.” Ford gestures to the portal wildly, giving it a scowl that could give Stan a run for his money. He almost thinks it’s directed at him, since he stands in front of the machine’s eye. “I can’t fix this!”

oh I’m feeling the feelings what the fuck. I can hear the last dialogue SO WELL. I remember vividly rewatching atots like four times just to listen to the fight and I’m still not desensitized. like the way ford delivers such a genuinely misguided request and seeing nothing wrong with how it might be worded which ALSO being on the verge of snapping? yeah ford I’ll give you a pass you’re going through shit. I’m so glad it still reads!!!

“I’m already too far gone, Stanley, an-and I can’t think of anyone else, anyone who would want to help.”

ohhhhhi can hear this too. it’s a Hint you know. it’s supposed to tip you off; something is REALLY wrong….

okay I’m restraining myself from pasting this entire ford exchange but it’s so GOOD. I’m flattering myself. And I didn’t even take that long on it I remember I wrote most of chapter one in a single burst. everything you see? barely edited. all put on at once. threw up on a page. I was feeling things

Ford sets the Journal aside. He, aside from the glaring obvious, does not look shaken up. “Yes, I know. Never… see me again.”

He sounds bitter. Almost too bitter for his liking. It’s almost contagious, from how it seems to roll off him and outwardly.

“You…” Stan has to phrase this kindly. “You know I don’t want that, right?”

Ford doesn’t relax. Instead, his gaze only darkens. “I know.”

i remember crying. I was tearing UP. that’s them. that’s something I would say if I were stan. make sure they know that I don’t want that. I…!!!!

Stan wonders what Stan will say.

one of the few bits I was smiling for when writing this….

So he should be here.

I forgot the name for this literary device even though I started using it religiously after this BUT YEAHHHHHHHH GET OUR FEELINGS BABE

not gonna paste it but what ford(‘s body) is hiding by. I’m gonna be honest despite watching atots so much I forgot where the portal opened. like dead ass, so I made it up. the bookshelf is supposed to be the portal. I think the fic ‘by the skin of your teeth’ was still severely affecting me and that was the portal in that fic. this is what you get when you don’t check your references. it literally happened to me yesterday! I was finishing up chapter six of do you remember hanging up the stars and it was about aziraphale and crowley on the ark back in 3000 bc right. I forgot what the ark looked like other than a Single Memory so I bullshitted it. I then remembered I had a Resource, Checked, and it was. well I completely forgot about where the humans would’ve gone. lol

I can’t paste it all bc it’s like the whole fic but Stan’s DENIAL. the way he’s sooooo deep in it that it’s a physical jarring when he’s ripped out of it. he’s literally such a denial grieved it’s SICK and I can’t believe I wrote it so easily. Ahem. that says things I think whether good or bad is up to your interpretation

some of these dialogues are weirdly cut off. I think Stan’s a lot more of a run on sentencer. hm

okay now I’m getting into the secondhand embarrassment that would probably be extreme heartbreak had into created this. I think at this point I was very emotionally worn down; not just from writing but Life too. there’s not much to say. it just Exists

oh that fucking letter. fucking letters. I love ford letters you know that they’re so delectable especially when he’s allowed to make them long. this WHOLE THING. wow. and the way he OPENS IT. classic ‘we don’t have much time’ action type beat *writes a two paged letter*. also the crossing out things. I’m a fucking genius. augh

I don’t know if you would like to stay in Gravity Falls after this, but I would like you to do two things, the two things I could not.

UHM EXCUSE ME YOU REALLY THINK SO?? LIKE GENUINELY??? woah buddy. anyways this hurts me because I know he’s being genuine about this he DOESNT know if Stan would like to stay. he doesn’t know. HE DOESNT KNOW—

Unless there is an afterlife, this is Stanford Pines, your brother, signing off.

(Thank you, Stan. For everything.)

THAT. THAT? I was kicking my little evil feet oh I WAS. I was thinking ‘what could I do in character that could REALLY fuck you up?’ and I landed there. I loved it so much I literally used the thank you ploy again for a recent whumptober entry and it STILL HIT FOR ME. like. ford and thank yous. always painful 🥹

Two: After all this?

Stan isn’t planning to last a week.

see look it’s funny because. because the summary is about stan always following through with his plans. it was a parallel. he went through with a plan and it resulted in ford fucking off the face of the earth. so now he’s got a new one. new mission, new plan, new end. I loved thatshit…..

He didn’t expect for the pawn off to be so violent.

I had a very different opening here; it was something with bill watching everything before unfold and THEN cut to ford going through with the plan? but then I decided ‘hey wait a sec we never see stan LEAVE after that little flashback. how did that leaving go?’ and now we’re here. damn I even had an alt opening

now that we know ford’s suicide is inevitable (and that we’re in his head) I start slathering that foreshadowing everywhere….

“Okay. Okay, I’ll go. But I’m comin’ back, ya hear me? I’m not leavin’ you again.”

it’s giving crowley saying ‘I’m coming back, I won’t leave you alone’. hehehe

It does untangle, after a few seconds of frantic pulling and Ford’s shouting beforehand.

Stan doesn’t have the decency to apologize. He flaps his palm as if he got burned. “Yeesh. Your hair’s a mess.”

look it’s funny because. because. well you know. hair untangling. corpse

“And get some fucking sleep! You look half-dead!”

There it is.

yeahhhhhhh I was just being mean. stan babygirl he’s already going to do it. don’t add insult to injury

It was time to enact Plan A. If Plan A didn’t work (which it had to. He didn’t even have a Plan B) then it’d be time to panic.

the original title for this fic (like the FIRST ONE. not when I turned this into a two parter) was called ‘Plan B’, because 1) plan A indeed does not work and plan b is suicide, and 2) B for Bill. :)

But knowing Stanley, he’d find a way to show just how pissed off he was at Ford even if he was in the afterlife.

:) x2. still proud of this

When Fiddleford first learned of the gnomes, he was more than disturbed. Almost spooked. Ford had insisted that as long as you had bug spray and mushrooms, they would be manageable. Sadly, Fiddleford had thought mushrooms ‘takin’ care of the problem’ would be in warding them away, that mushrooms were a repellant of some kind.

FIDDLEFORD MY BELOVED!!!! I love writing beats like this I still do. it’s just so nice to take random hcs and put them in the most tense and matter of fact situations just to distract us a little. make us look away, but not entirely. ough

He wants to shake on it.

it’s the little traumas that break our hearts.

okayyyyyy I’ll be honest ford leaving the portal for someone else to kill it is Very ooc. I’ll admit that. but I need my Scenario!!!!! I don’t regret it. just know that I acknowledge it. *cries*

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the ‘method’. oh ‘the method’. fucking kills me. he debated ont his. rationally. RATIONALLY I WAS LITERALLY THAT ONE MEME THATS SCREAMING AT MY CHARACTERS TO STOP BUT IM THE ONE WHOS PUTTING THEM THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE—

ough. the bullet points. okay I’m running out of commentary steam but let me say this. I asked for hcs on my blog right? so I could put some of those here because even I run out of hcs eventually, and people DELIVERED. I loved them. I put every single one in at least One point, and seeing these tiny memories just spring up at he’s doing this is like that thing with the fiddleford/mushrooms bit. he’s distracting himself. making th situation less scary in his eyes. OUGH

OH AND THE PILLS NOT BEING FORD’S BUT STAN’S? ONE OF MY KAST ALTERATIONS BUT SOOOOOOO WORTH IT. NO NOTES JUST ULTIMATE ANGST

Ford had considered being a doctor for some time while in elementary school. It was a given, considering his intelligence and avid nature towards sciences. His love for the supernatural always gave in however, and it has won every battle. But for a long time after, a part of him wanted to be a chemist, a manufacturer, a creator. Sure, it soon became a pipe dream, but for a while it was a genuine choice.

But Ford is an experimenter. He realized early on that he wouldn’t be able to resist pouring the components and chemicals on his skin, if only to see how they would react to human flesh.

motherfucker.that guy is literally me

btw these spaces after the em dashes are killing my soul. I remember once that I thought everyone else was wrong with no spaces and I was right. Oh, past me. No.

How could you not love someone like that?

God, he’s never going to see him again.

*SNIFF*

4.5 million humans in the world. 230 million humans in America. 7 million in New Jersey. 2 million in Oregon. Around sixty or seventy species of anomalies in Gravity Falls alone. And that doesn’t even account past Earth, if Crash Site Omega was accounted for.

I had to look all that shit up I don’t even know if it’s right. at first it’d been modern day stats but THEN I remembered that we’re in the fucking 1980s so ofc it’s different. ALSO LOOOK I FUCKED UP IT SAYS MILLION NOT BILLIONS. IM GONNA DIE. FUCK. either way we stay silly we stay silly!!! just know that little paragraph has caused me so much grief.

Ford always hated funerals.

this was the beginning of the ‘we hate funerals’ saga. still do hate them. I hate them, ford hates them, crowley hates them, ALL OF THE HOMIES HATE THEM 🫵🫵 /j

Mania is a feeling he knows well, and this is not that.

lmao name drop *i was on the verge of tears*

It’s Ford, the snow, and his candle, which has no more wax to burn.

THE TITLE THE TITLE THE TITLE—

the spacing. the html gave me sooooo much trouble but it was worth it!!!! every space was deliberated and checked and shit. ough. OUGH

okayyyy im capping it here because I’m so so tired. but!!! here it is. I just. wow. Less yet more corny than I thought this would be. I hope you enjoyed that little roller coaster, and I’m off on Life Adventures. Which means Errands. fuck…..

[base0h]

Hi Bozo! So I'm here to request Ace, Zoro and Kid hcs reacting to finding out their s/o eats like a pig | ahem I meant Luffy - feel free to ignore this if you wouldn't enjoy writing it (well I mean it's pretty much weird 💀) I've been reading all your posts and I'm loving it 😁

a/n - Hi error! Tysm for reading! I’m so happy that you like them 🥺🥺 and oml pls this is hilarious- 💀 (ngl I feel like ace eats like this too sometimes- just saying 👀)

Warnings ⚠️ - food, g/n reader

Ace

- we all know he eats like this too 💀

- boy understands

- he’ll hype you up like-

- “GO Y/N YEA-!” *face plants into food*

- He doesn’t mind it much, I mean at first it was kind of a shock-

- He immediately thought of Luffy when he saw you eating

- But he also finds it endearing

- another adorable thing about you!!

- He wants to make sure you don’t like- choke or anything but-

- He’s completely fine with you stuffing your face with food 🥺

- As long as you’re eating he’s happy

- if you start choking on your food- he’ll start panicking and trying to do cpr right away

- ends up making it worse 😭

- pls he’s having a heart attack he had to throw Marco at you to help you lmao 💀

- honestly you might have to worry about him while you two are eating together

- he’ll fall asleep mid-swallow and just start choking on his food WHILE sleeping

- 💀 dunno how he does it but he does

- pls help this man not die

Kid

- so you two are eating right?

- all’s well until he watches you eat

- kid: wtf. 💀

- Man’s so fucking confused

- like what-

- Nah this ain’t real right???

- he kinda thinks it’s gross like- even HE doesn’t eat like that-

- but it’s you so-

- He kind of tries to ignore it the best he can

- when you start choking on your food he ain’t gonna help you (fuck you kid)

- “your fault for stuffing it down your throat-“

- bitch they’re choking to death pls help them 💀

- honestly he doesn’t give a shit

- you do you and he’ll do him-

- As long as you chew with your mouth closed he’s fine with it

- it’s his biggest pet peeve when someone chews with their mouth open

- just never do that.

- ever

- also if you share your food with him that makes him so soft 😭

- like- he feels so happy that you’d want to share your food with him 🥺

- “here kid- take some meat!”

- *buffering* “what? Why.”

- “Because I’m giving it to you?”

- he’s so confused 💀 just take the fucking meat Kid

- sharing food with him makes him sooooo happy- make sure to do that :D

Zoro

- instant thoughts and memories of Luffy when he sees you eat like that

- honestly he’s impressed you can eat as fast as Luffy

- he wants to see a contest between you two 💀

- he’s the same way but with alcohol so he can’t rlly criticize you-

- Zoro literally takes pride in you that you can eat a bowl of noodles faster than Luffy

- AND that you can also cook really good meals like Sanji

- like- he’s actually supporting you lmao

- if you and Luffy ever compete he’s 10000000% on your side to win

- u better win before Nami breaks his neck in half for taking her money to bet on it 👀

- if you start choking on your food while you’re swallowing a big bite, he’ll think it’s a joke at first

- like “oh yeah if y/n’s clawing at their neck and struggling to breathe air, that means y/n’s completely fine” 🗿

- “y/n, that’s not gonna work, stop jokin’ around.”

- once you dropped to the floor, clutching your neck and your face starting to turn blue- that’s when he started to freak out

- “Y/n! WHY DID YOU STUFF THAT HUGE BITE DOWN?! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO CHEW DUMBASS!”

- chopper saved you

- 👍

- just don’t ever choke in front of him again pls 😭

a/n - pls this was so funny istg 💀 idk why it took me so long to respond to this ask tho 😭 sorry error!!

<3

[frogtanii]

℗ me and my husband

atsumu x fem!reader (poker face ending)

series masterlist

♡´･ᴗ･`♡

wc. 3.2k (holy shit)

warnings. NOT PROOFREAD, v v soft domestic, marriage :00, smut!! (is marked off!!), soft dom!tsumu, hair pulling (giving), unprotected sex, slight praise kink, pretty vanilla ngl

an. can be read as a one shot but u might be confused lmfao also this took SO LONG OMFG also also heavily unedited, take things w a grain of salt lmfao anyways don’t forget to feed me ahaha m rlly proud of this so i hope y’all like it <33

it was moving day and atsumu was about to lose his mind.

today was the official day of the hyper house disbandment and while most of the members were still figuring out new living arrangements and thus remaining past the deadline, you were one of the few trying to get out as soon as possible.

makki and mattsun were so excited to have you move in, they showed up early that morning to help you pack. now, it was around 1p and it was almost time for you to go. you still had a few more boxes to go but things were speeding right along.

normally, atsumu would be right by your best friends helping you out but he was currently in the middle of a breakdown.

you were leaving. leaving. he had no idea when he’d see you again (even though you promised to meet up weekly to catch up), if he would ever see you again. for all he knew, makki and mattsun would just hide you away forever, never to be seen again.

okay, so he was panicking.

it was just... atsumu was in love with you. he’d known for a while (way longer than he’d like to admit) and he selfishly thought he’d have more time with you so that he could work up the courage to confess. but now? you were like three boxes away from a distance that he didn’t know if he or your relationship could recover from.

it wasn’t that he was bad at long distance but the tragic events that the house brought, brought the two of you closer together and he didn’t want to lose that.

atsumu let out a groan and dropped his head against the wall, his mind running with scenario after scenario, all ending in failure and utter embarrassment.

“hey, you okay?” you called out, a large box cradled delicately in your arms. as atsumu turned from the plaster in front of him, he allowed himself a moment to take you in.

you were wearing short athletic shorts, worn converses, and his t shirt. a thin sheen of sweat covered your skin, the lights above reflecting off of it, giving you a warm glow.

of course you looked hot moving boxes.

you called his name again in concern and he immediately felt his heart clench in guilt. you’d already been through so so much and here he was fantasizing about you instead of being there for you like a good friend would.

atsumu let out a sigh and shot you a wide, albeit empty, smile before walking over to you and taking the box out of your hands. the furrow in your brows told him you saw through his expression but he ignored it and made a show of lifting your box above his head and carrying it to mattsun’s car.

“see, what would ya do without these guns angel?” he joked, placing the cardboard into the trunk. you rolled your eyes and poked him in the side playfully. “die, probably.”

the butterflies in his stomach kicked up at the underlying sincerity in your voice but he tried his best to overlook it. it was much harder than it seemed, especially when you looked at him with such fondness in your gaze that made him want to kiss you senseless.

gulping hard, he quickly turned away from you, busying himself with fitting your things in the truck like a game of tetris.

“atsumu.” your voice was firm but pleading and he didn’t dare look at you for fear of spilling everything right then and there. “wow, ya sure got a lot of stuff, huh? wonder how much of this was bought with ushijima’s money,” he started to ramble but thankfully he was interrupted by makki whooping as he walked out of the house.

“last box bitches!” you shot atsumu one final worried look before running over to makki and mattsun, yelling the whole way there.

atsumu was grateful your back was to him because he couldn’t hide the affectionate look that overtook his face, a soft smile spreading across his lips as he watched you hip bump your friends while cackling wildly.

god, he was so in love with you.

what was he going to do when you moved out and away? what if you found someone, someone how loved you as much as he did (not possible)? he would wish for your happiness even at the expense of his own but... what if you both could be happy?

caught up in his thoughts, atsumu didn’t register you saying your goodbyes to the remaining members until you were finally in front of him.

“i’m gonna miss living with you tsum.” you unceremoniously launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his waist and burying your face in his chest. his heart leapt violently at the contact and he prayed to every deity above that you didn’t hear it underneath your head.

he barely managed to hug you back before you pulled away, your eyes slightly teary and red. “um, well, makki and mattsun are waiting for me so uh,” you trailed off looking back at the van and your friends who were so (im)patiently waiting for you to join them.

atsumu’s breath quickened as you scooted a bit away from him, truly getting ready to leave. no, no, it couldn’t end like this, awkward and distant. no, he wasn’t going to let it.

“atsumu?” you asked worriedly, reaching out a hand to touch him when he didn’t respond but he couldn’t hear you. he felt hot all over, like he was going to explode or magically combust if he didn’t get the words out into the air.

“tsum, are you oka-“ “i’m in love with ya.”

you paused, shock written clearly all over your face. the fear of rejection slammed into atsumu like a brick, the feeling settling in the pit of his stomach like a rock but he still didn’t stop.

“i’m in love with ya and i have been for forever. yn, yer beautiful but yer face and body aren’t even the best part of ya, even though they’re pretty damn great. yer just-“

“tsum-“

“-yer so kind, especially when ya don’t need ta be. yer badass but ya care fer others so deeply and ya make me wanna be a better person. ya make me a better person. i know ya-“

“tsumu please-“

“-ya probably don’t feel the same and that’s alright but i needed ta tell ya, before ya leave and fall in love with some other scrub, just in case we can be happy together and-“

all of a sudden, your hands were buried in his shirt and you were pulling him close to meet your lips with his, your mouths meshing together in a soft and passionate kiss.

bliss. atsumu was in sheer bliss. your lips were as soft as he thought they would be as they moved with his, his hands coming up to grip your waist and pull you even closer to him.

sooner than he would have liked, his lungs started burning for air so he pulled back but not very far, instead resting his forehead against yours.

“i was trying to tell you i liked you too, idiot,” you muttered, your eyes still closed as you spoke. he chuckled, a wide grin overtaking his entire face as he really took in what you were saying.

you liked him back. you liked him. holy shit.

but instead of saying any of that, he decided to tease you a bit. “just like? if i recall, i just confessed my undying love for ya.”

you pulled back with a faux scoff, hitting him in the arm with a huff. “shut up you ass. of course i love you too.” you couldn’t keep your real smile off your cheeks while you confessed, your soft expression bringing another wave of desire over atsumu’s body.

“can, can i take ya inside angel?” he allowed his true intentions to be heard in his words, your eyes widening when you figured out what he meant. you nodded vigorously before shooting a look to makki and mattsun. mattsun just waved you off and got into his truck while makki yelled, “get that dick!”

you heated up horribly, grabbing atsumu’s hand and pulling him towards the house and to his room. he allowed himself to be dragged along, sending winks to the other boys as he went until the two of you were standing right in front of his door.

“i love ya,” he whispered, lifting your hand to his lips to place a gentle kiss there. you grinned. “love you too tsum.”

that must have been the final straw because the minute the words left your mouth, he was on you.

••• smut begin•••

pressing you up against the door, atsumu ravaged your mouth, his tongue tangling with yours as he walked you backwards into his room, laying you down on the bed so that he was hovering over you, his hips pressing hard against yours.

instinctively, you ground up into him, rewarding you with a loud groan and a gasp of your name. “fuck angel, yer killing me here,” he laughed breathlessly, rolling his hardness against your thigh. you let out a breathy moan and tangled your hands in his hair to bring him back down to your lips.

as you continued to kiss him, his hands scrambled at your waist, pushing his hands under it to grope at your chest. you giggled at the cold of his fingers but he didn’t pay it any mind, moving down from your mouth to your neck, sucking dark marks into the sensitive skin there.

“ah, shit tsumu,” you tilted your head to the side to give him more access, just as he reached under your bra to tease your nipples. a startled gasp left you, your back arching into his careful touch. “that feel good angel?” atsumu asked, voice low and gravelly as he pinched the delicate bud, drawing another noise from your throat.

you nodded, not trusting yourself to speak. you bit your bottom lip while he pulled your shirt and bra off, tossing them somewhere in the room. as he scanned your half naked body, he noticed you quieting yourself and he lightly shook his head. his thumb found its way to your lip, carefully pulling it from between your teeth.

“wanna hear ya angel, let me hear yer pretty noises, yeah?” without letting you respond, atsumu dove back into your chest, suckling one of your nipples into his mouth while toying with the other, a sigh of his name sending a bolt of arousal straight to his loins.

he grinded against you absentmindedly, losing himself in you, eventually switching sides to give the same treatment to your neglected bud.

while atsumu seemed to be having the time of his life attached to your tit, you were getting impatient, your arousal completely soaking through your underwear. you needed more.

tangling your fingers in his blond locks, you attempted to tug him away from your chest but his reaction was unlike anything you could’ve expected. “aahh!” he let out a strangled whine, his hips bucking against your side.

“please, tsumu, need more,” you breathed, his needy reaction not lost on you as pulled his hair a bit harder. you were not disappointed as his eyes rolled back and his mouth opened in a silent moan before dropping his head to your shoulder.

“fuck, fuck, okay angel, i got ya, i got ya.” atsumu swiftly disposed of both yours and his bottoms and underwear before lifting your leg and positioning himself at your entrance.

“tell me if i hurt ya, alright? i love ya,” he smiled down on you, your heart swelling two times at his carefulness. “i love you too,” you replied, watching as his pupils grew and a low groan broke free from his chest.

“oh angel, ‘m gonna ruin ya.” that was the last thing he said before he pushed into you, both of you letting out whimpers as he stretched you open, the blunt head of his cock just a few centimeters shy of your cervix.

your back arched in pleasure, both of your hands scrambling until they found purchase on his back, your nails digging in just when he started to thrust shallowly into you.

“f-fuck, how’re ya s-so fuckin’ tight?” atsumu growled through gritted teeth, every word punctuated with a roll of his hips. you couldn’t respond as you were too overwhelmed with pleasure, his cock rubbing against your g-spot with every slow movement.

speaking of slow, he was moving way too leisurely for your tastes. you needed him to move faster and you knew exactly how to do it.

sliding your hand up from his back, you grabbed a good chunk of hair from the back of his head and pulled. his reaction was immediate and oh-so gratifying.

an honest to god whimper poured from his lips and he instantly thrusted all the way into you, his length driving into your g-spot perfectly. you both let out twin moans as he started rocking into consistently, every movement bringing you closer and closer to your peak.

“i love ya, i love ya so fuckin’ much, angel—shit—yer so amazing, i love ya,” atsumu rambled while pounding into you, deep curses and whines of your name interspersed with his declarations of love. if you could speak, you would reciprocate but you were too busy holding on for dear life as he fucked you into oblivion.

desperate for some kind of anchor to reality, you grasped onto his locks again, gripping tightly as drawn-out cries of his name slipped from your open lips. you were close, so close and he knew it too.

“feel ya clenchin’ around me like a good girl, ya gonna cum fer me? gonna cum fer me angel?” atsumu’s hand snaked down between your bodies to rub fast circles on your clit, a shaky sob finding its way out into the open air.

“oh shit, yeah, ‘m g-gonna cum for you tsum, ‘s all for you,” you moaned, clamping down on him sporadically as you started to cum, your vision whiting out and your thighs trembling while you gushed around him.

your mind was floating off when you felt him cum with a shout, his warmth flooding you and spilling out as he collapsed onto your chest.

••• smut over •••

the two of you lied there for a while, attempting to regain your brain and feeling in your legs. you vaguely made note of the wet rag cleaning between your thighs and the following weight falling down beside you but it was only after a few more minutes that you really came back to yourself, rolling over to lay on atsumu’s bare chest.

“holy shit, tsumu,” you said in awe, your boyfriend (!!) laughing at your reaction. “i’m just that good angel, what can i say?”

you groaned and hit him in the chest but you couldn’t keep the smile off your face if you tried. “you are such a menace!”

“only fittin’ that i picked a gremlin ta be with then,” atsumu teased while playing with a piece of your hair. mock offense filled your chest as you sat up, fixing him with your ‘angriest’ glare.

“is that the kind of language you’ll be using in your vows, mister?” you were only joking but when atsumu’s eyes widened and a blush spread across his cheeks, you realized your mistake.

you opened your mouth to apologize or to make some kind of excuse but he beat you to the punch. “ya wanna marry me angel?” he asked, looking so vulnerable with hope shining in his brown irises. you couldn’t bear to lie.

“of course tsum, you’re it for me,” you reached out a hand to caress his cheek and he leaned into it, his own coming up to cup yours and hold it against his face.

“good.” and that was the end of that, that evening’s... extraneous activities having thoroughly tired to the point that you fell completely asleep with your face against one of his pecs.

if you had stayed awake a little longer, you would’ve seen atsumu pull out his phone and start a new note titled, “my angel.”

if i just said i loved you, it would be an understatement. it would be like saying the sun’s surface is just a bit warm or that the arctic is just a little chilly. it would be an injustice to you and to how i truly feel about you. love—

“-is a word that is much too soft and used far too often ta ever describe the fierce, infinite and blazing passion that i have in my heart for ya angel. ya acknowledge my strengths and ya accept my faults. ya make me wanna be a better person every day. so, today i vow ta laugh with ya and comfort ya during times of joy and times of sorrow. i promise ta always pursue ya, ta fight for ya, and love ya unconditionally and wholeheartedly for the rest of my life. ya are my best friend and i’m the luckiest person on earth ta call ya mine- wait are ya crying?"

the audience burst into laughter as you frantically tried to wipe away your tears, punching atsumu softly on the arm. “of course i am, you ass.”

the officiant cleared his throat, grabbing both of your attentions. “it is the bride’s turn to give her vows. if you may?”

you nodded and atsumu already felt like crying. again. he’d cried that morning while getting dressed and then again when you walked down the aisle in the most beautiful dress he had ever seen. now, as he watched you pull a folded piece of paper out of your bra, he knew he’d made the right decision in confessing to you, all those years ago.

he also knew he was definitely going to cry again.

“atsumu, falling for you wasn’t falling at all—it was walking into a house and knowing that you’re home. today, i want to make you promises that i will always keep. i promise to never stop holding your hand or accepting your kisses. i promise to not hit you too hard when you insult me or call me a gremlin. i promise to share my food with you, to never go to bed angry, and to try and understand your obsession with professional men’s volleyball. i promise to love, respect, protect and trust you, and give you the best of myself, for i know that together we will build a life far better than either of us could imagine alone. i choose you. i’ll choose you over and over and over, without pause, without doubt, i’ll keep choosing you.

i used to never truly enjoy moments because i was always waiting for what's next. the next thing horrible thing to happen. now that i have you, i enjoy the moment. every moment.

today seems like it's the start of a new journey, but i already belong to you. falling for you wasn't falling at all—it was walking into a house and knowing you're home. i love you.”

and at least in this lifetime

we’re sticking together

me and my husband

we’re sticking together

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saiKishaircLip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp • @keiarma • @shrimpypenis

the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

[kandadze]

Ep 32 loose thoughts

Oh hell that was a *bad* idea, WX! And why is she by herself? Was PSJ not in the dungeon after all?

Ahhh okay she still *is* in the dungeon, oh ffs

She at least has her brother when things get *real* bad... I spoke too soon. Hello there, another illusion! Get him, PSJ, punch that goddamn smirk off of his face!

I see this episode will be a montage of at least three fight sequences going on at the same time. Oof, I felt ZYZ taking that fireball in the back to protect ZYC right in my gut, how many times will they be each other's shield before one of them shatters?

Speaking of which. Can someone shatter this asshole already???

Come on, ZYC, you know there's no way WX and PSJ could be there for real! All of this is just another illusion feeding off your biggest fear!

....................

Right, it's an illusion within an illusion. I can't with this drama.

How many times did ZYZ let himself bleed on ZYC's blade at this point? I should go back and count. Look at me, I know that no matter how the end might break me, I *will* go back and rewatch the whole thing...

Fuckkkkk the way I cheered when the swirl of leaves appeared! (Also, ZYZ using his hand to protect ZYC's face... I repeat, how many times will they be each other's shield??? 😭)

Oh LL, joining the self-sacrificial idiots squad! And ZYZ's concern for him coming out of his cultivation too early. LL's smile in response! Fuck the things that could've been 😭

Ngl it's kinda funny how they're having those prolonged and emotional conversations while the villain just stands there, totally hearing every word even though he's way too far for it to be possible (unless he added some hearing related mcguffin to his demonic upgrade), and not really doing anything of substance. Not sure if it's intentional to show how much he believes in his own advantage, or is this a thing in xianxias in general, either way, thanks for the (choked, but still) laugh, now let's see if Qing Geng can help detoxify the poison in ZYC. (Seriously, what's with cdramas and poisons?)

Ah, fuck, I knew that they showed us the red glowing eyes on Fei for a reason. Seriously, I hope WZY *burns*.

OMG the sound of Bai Jiu's bell woke ZYC up enough for him to reach for the antidote!!! Team effort once more! I love how they show us again and again that our gang's strength comes from their love for one another! 😭😭😭 (And fuckkkk, Qing Geng used her inner core for the antidote! The scene in the MV, of these three watching golden dust dissipate in front of their eyes, was of her death... oh man, I know I said I'd prefer everyone to die if it meant no one was left behind to suffer, but it's as if they heard me and went, let's start with the secondary characters who gutted you the most the first time around, shall we? 😭)

Meanwhile, the villain is still alive and well, and LL's taking the brunt of his fire attacks, while being, y'know, a *tree* demon. *Both* ZYZ and ZYC reaching out to steady him!!! What a shot! No matter what happens next, this was *so* satisfying to see. (Also, can I just say how I love LL's hairdo here, and how all the adornments are made of things you can get or make out of various tree parts! A+)

Seriously, the piece of garbage does *not* deserve such a beautiful "true form". Please die already, you've wasted enough of everyone's time. Hopefully knowing where his inner core is will help in achieving just that.

The way I cheered when PSJ finally landed a killing blow on the lackey. And then I promptly choked at the candy bit (flashed way back to The Untamed lol). How dare they make me feel emotional like thissss!

And that's the end of the ep? I feel like the girls got seriously sidelined in this one, but at least we got some badass sequences (PSJ) and some aesthetic slamming against the pillars (sorry, WX). I'm also  afraid that sending Bai Jiu away, even though done for his immediate safety, is gonna backfire horribly... only one way to find out! (Ngl, I'm really scared for what's still to come.)

On to ep 33! (Will I get any sleep tonight? Probably not. I might post the rest of the commentary only tomorrow though, I'm getting really drained.)

[evacado3]

I’m simping hard for samuel 😭😅😱 can I Nsfw for him anything is fine

Oh look what we have here~ Ngl I was literally think about this in class, and it’s my first time writing actual nsfw soooo it might be a little awkward, bare with me lmao 🤣

Make Me Yours

Warning: nsfw, mentions of yandere behavior

Word count: 760

He's staring again, you took a deep breath, recalling the past few days where you've caught Samuel looking a little longer than normal. Honestly you didn't mind, you wanted to know what made him like this, and what you should do to make him look at you more.

But the stack of work in front of you cut off your ideas, there's no way he's making you hand it all in tomorrow. Does he know what the word mercy means?

"Why are you still here."

That was more of a statement than a question, he adjusted his glasses before walking over to your desk.

"Uh, cause I haven't finished work?" you tilted your head, a bit confused about where this conversation's going.

"No, I'm asking why are you in this company." he leaned forwards to you, giving a perfect view of his cold eyes.

Eyes of a born leader, no, dictator.

You gulped, not anyone would understand what he meant, but you knew well just what he's trying to say. Did he find out?

Find out about you're obsessed with him? Oh he knew that well, since the golden age of Big Deal, he's always spotted you around.

Being unhealthily obsessed is one thing, but the unwillingness to change is the real problem. The things you'd do just to be in his arms are preposterous, and so is your behavior.

From following him to all the way to Workers without a guaranteed position, working your own way up to assistant manager just for him to acknowledge you have been nothing but amusing to Samuel. Of course, he knows all your efforts, it was him who recommended you to the boss anyways.

"T-that's a weird question director, are you tired? Maybe you should go home first." you chuckled, so what if he knows, would he make a move? Obviously not, why would someone like him want to touch you?

His scent flowed to your nose which you had to resist taking a sniff. He smiled, a really fake smile, "Miss y/n, I think you comprehend me perfectly, is there an issue as to why you won't answer me?"

Now he's just teasing you, after a long day at work, you could slightly see the makeup fading away. His neck tattoos were slowly revealing themselves.

Samuel honestly didn't know what fueled him to make theses actions at this moment, all he knows right now is that your perfume smelt sweeter than usual. Bending down even more, his nose almost touching yours, he stared.

"Director?" you snapped him out of trance, he cleared his throat loudly before replying.

"Are you finished?"

-----

He flattened out his tongue on the crook of your neck, broken moans escaping from you in satisfaction.

You forgot how you ended up there, spread out nicely on his desk, waiting to be pleasured.

"I-hmm I never thought you would be interested," you breathed out, his hands busy fiddling with your bra. The blouse was already out of the way, his shirt torn in desperation, even his glasses were nowhere to be found.

"Sweetheart, you were the one who never approached me, was watching from afar that fun?" he whispered in your ears, hands trailing from your back to waist, squeezing softly.

Busted, Samuel has always knew. You whined in embarrassment, his grin didn't help you feel better about yourself. His hair was back down the way it was when he was still in the Gangseo Union, you didn't realize just how much you missed it.

He proceeded to connect his lips with yours, indulging you in a rough and passionate kiss. The faint taste of cigarettes laid on his tongue, looks like he never quitted smoking after all.

All that elegant facade to lure in clients has blinded you from his actual character. They say old habits die hard, they weren't lying.

Groaning lowly in your mouth, Samuel couldn't wait anymore, he was never a patient person to begin with. He could see you can't wait as well from the soft pleas falling out of your mouth.

"You're enjoying this a little too much aren't you," he taunted while unzipping his pants.

Bullshit, if you've waited after the same dick for years, naturally you'd be eager when he's finally in your palm.

"Put it in already," you gave out a needy cry, rubbing your thighs together to give yourself some pressure.

"What should I do, should I make you my little girlfriend?" he hummed, tearing your skirt apart to display your wet panties.

"Fuck Samuel, just make me yours already."

"Your wish is my command."

====================

Andddd my job here is done, please imagine the rest, I still can't write a full smut, man I'm getting there ok DO NOT JUDGE MY SMUT BROS

Sometimes I forget Samuel's a two faced bitch with a really pretty smile

[cherriesfineline]

Au Pair – Chapter I

It's finally here – I'm sorry this took so long, this past few weeks have been a mess but here it is, our first chapter for the Au Pair series; I kinda hate this, ngl- I always hate first chapters, a lot of introductory info and bla bla but yeah.

In the weird case you happen to enjoy this and want to be added into the taglist (starting next chapter) you can request it here.

Feedback, likes or reblogs are so, so appreciated! I'm very much new to the whole writing world so yeah it'd be really helpful to hear your thoughts about this <3

Love you all, have a wonderful week beauties!

Warnings: none specifically for this chapter – age gap.

WC: 6.6k

Masterlist

Y/N was tired, to say the least.

And it wasn’t the tiredness she used to feel after a long work shift at her previous job -where her boss was an old, grumpy lady with horrible manners- or the exhaustion felt after spending hours crying due to a fight with her mother. No, this was different. It was a tiredness she couldn’t get rid of; a tiredness no lavender smelling bath or hours upon hours of sleep could amend.

She couldn't pinpoint the exact moment her brain shifted in such a drastic way. Y/N could easily recognize and admit her life had never been an exciting one; a memorable one. Ever since she was a little girl it all seemed to fly by; graduations, birthdays, friendships – nothing ever seemed to leave an impact and nothing ever seemed as exciting as everyone else put it to be. She knew she struggled with allowing herself to enjoy things, but this far her life had been pretty average.

Maybe it was the fact that she was 22 years old and never been in a real relationship what skyrocketed her fear of dying alone. Now, she knew it might seem exaggerated – 22 years wasn’t a long life at all, but the pungent emptiness she’d been feeling felt like her inevitable destiny – like that’s how life was supposed to be for her.

England felt different, though. But in all honesty, her emotions hadn’t had switched into completely different ones like she’d expected to happen when she applied for this job as an Au Pair all the way back in February.

With a steaming hot cup of coffee between her cold hands, she sat down next to Coco (a very soft grey Scottish Fold) on the giant couch of her new home, scratching in between his tiny ears earning a low purr in response. Coco had become one of her closest friends so far, along with Anya, a three year old girl with cute blonde locks and a laugh so contagious it made the muscles on your cheeks ache after a long playdate.

Maybe moving away wasn’t the smartest choice. It actually might be one of the stupidest choices she had ever made, actually – moving all the way across the globe when she cried herself to sleep most nights due to her loneliness overcoming her (almost inexistent) self-awareness. Y/N liked to believe she had a wide understanding of her emotions, but it was a blatant lie.

At least she was distracted for most of the day – taking care of two kids and looking after a teenager wasn’t an easy task. It required a lot of mental presence; but by the time she was in bed at night, it all hit back again. She thought maybe this is how life is supposed to be for her, lonely – maybe it was not her brain playing her tricks but her brain making her see how her life truly was.

It’d been two weeks since the Lockehold family picked Y/N up from the airport, and on one side getting physically adjusted to this new life hadn't been as rough as she thought it’d be. She did have it easy, if she had to admit – a big room in a giant, beautiful home and a car to her disposal. Emotionally, on the other side, life was still the same.

She knew the moment she heard heels hitting the cold marble staircase Bella was on her way down with Ivy, the eldest of the three sisters, following close behind, complaining about a hangout she was apparently going to miss because they “are expecting a guest” as Bella announced, meaning neither of her parents could drive her. That’s how Y/N found herself sitting in her (borrowed) blue Jeep Renegade driving Ivy to her friend Lily’s house – who lived in the same rich, over-the-top neighborhood as her guest family, which meant the ride to and back was no longer than twenty minutes. During those minutes together, though, Y/N could physically feel the irritation running through Ivy’s blood because first, she still wasn’t too fond of Y/N because she is 16 and doesn’t need a babysitter -her words, not Y/N’s- and second, Y/N is still not accustomed to driving on the other side of the road.

Technically, Y/N had the weekends off. Living with the same people who employed her gladly didn’t mean working 24/7, but she hoped she could earn a couple of points in her favor if she took her free time to drive her around.

After a short conversation between the two (where Ivy refused to save Y/N’s number in case an emergency came up because she could always call her dad), Y/N dropped her off and drove back to the Lockehold’s. What caught her off guard, was the sight of someone in the driveway at the house next door getting suitcases out of the trunk of a black cab – there hadn’t been any movement in the old Victorian mansion since she’d moved in next door. A man, definitely very tall, dressed in a dark suit is all Y/N could decipher since it was already dark outside and she had to strictly concentrate on not switching to the opposite side of the road out of habit.

Alex was coming down the stairs when Y/N locked the front door – Bella’s husband was a very handsome man for his age, probably anyone could admit it. He was kind of scary sometimes, but was a true sweetheart on the inside; he’s in his mid-40’s and it was clear as day his family meant everything to him, he even treated Y/N like his own daughter, always making sure she’s comfortable and inviting her to most family hangouts – even though Y/N declined pretty often to allow them to have quality time as a family (and because being too socially involved drained her, but they needn’t have to know that)

“You wanna join us for dinner? We have a guest tonight. A family friend.”

“Oh, no, I'm good, you guys enjoy yourselves. I’ll say hello, though.” Y/N replied with a smile; and as before mentioned, even though she had the weekends to herself, they still loved to insist on her joining them for fancy dinners and whatnot. The Lockehold’s loved being hostesses, loved having people around (from what Y/N learned this past two weeks) but she really wanted -and needed- some time for herself after being with them the entire week, and even though she loved hanging out with them, she just wasn’t in the mood tonight.

“You sure? Bella made homemade pasta, from scratch. Her specialty.” Mouthwatering, Y/N thought. Bella was such an amazing cook, and even though she worked hours upon hours every day, she still came to her husband and kids in time to make dinner every night, not missing a single day.

“Sounds delicious, but I think I’ll pass, I’m just really tired.” And before anyone could make another comment, the loud bell ringing through the main floor of the house startled Y/N as it’s louder than ordinary – and sounded kind of old and creepy, in her opinion. By the time the constant thud in her chest lowered to a normal speed, she could recognize Bella’s voice in the foyer, meaning she was the one who received their guest, with a deep voice following after saying 'thank you for having me'.

"He's here!" Alex clasped his hands together, a wide smile appearing in his face. Y/N followed him into the living room where Bella was already chatting animatedly with a man; tall and with broad shoulders (but not excessively; just the right amount) his figure was leaning slightly forward as he listened to Bella rambling about all the 'good things he had missed while he was away'. His hands were clasped on his back and when he lifted his head, he made direct eye contact with Y/N without even having to search for her eyes. His brown curls were perfectly placed on top of his head looking extremely soft, and when he ran his hand through it Y/N couldn’t help but swallow harshly. He undoubtedly looked like someone who belonged in Hollywood next to a young Leo DiCaprio and he was definitely older than Y/N – probably already in his 30's, she guessed, but ageing like the finest wine. He had the softest looking wrinkles in the corners of his eyes – those eyes, forest green; reminded Y/N of what used to be home for her. His intense gaze held a lot of emotion, a lot of thought, unlike his face, that appeared stiff and cold, with a slight crease between his brows. His pink, heart-shaped lips were pressed in a line, a cute mole adorning one side of his chin.

"Harry! It's so good to see you, we've missed you." Alex's excitement forced him to drift his gaze away from Y/N, leaving her like a heated teenager salivating for him. Y/N honestly thought he might had left her speechless and most likely with increasing probabilities to make a fool out of herself if someone needed her to talk, as she was certain she wouldn't be able to formulate any coherent sentences.

Harry. It totally suited him, Y/N repeated his name a couple of times inside her head to check on its pronunciation. Alex reached him and pulled him in a big hug, patting each other's back, and Harry's lips broke into a huge smile making a line of pearly white teeth appear. And dimples. God, he had dimples.

This is how I die, Y/N thought.

"So good to see you, Alex." If sex was a sound, his voice would definitely be it.

"Your skin is glowing, Harry. Italy always does you wonders." Bella gushed. And she was right – his skin had this beautiful golden undertone, but it looked natural and radiant, almost like the sun itself kissed and caressed his skin with the softest touches. Alex snapped Y/N into reality when he turned to face her and grabbed her hand to pull her closer to them, starting a long introduction no one was paying much attention to, explaining how he’d missed her arrival, like he even cared, and how she was the Au Pair they’d all been talking about ever since February. It wasn’t until Alex mentioned something about Y/N and Harry probably seeing each other a lot she was suddenly interested in what was actually going on.

“He owns the school the girl’s attend.” Alex directed towards her. Now, Y/N assumed the moment she laid eyes on him he was probably rich – who wears a suit to a Sunday dinner with friends? Rich people are weird, that’s something we can all agree on; but owning a school which’s monthly fees per kid were worth three of her salaries? That was quite unexpected.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Harry." Y/N offered him her hand, trying to sound as casual as possible, even if her skin felt like it was burning under his intense gaze and her eyes were definitely betraying her.

"The pleasure’s all mine, Y/N." He shook her hand. His strong hold sent shivers down her spine; the cold rings making a big contrast against the heat his hand radiated and she couldn't help but fantasize about how his touch would feel in some other places.

The sudden embarrassment feeling hot against her cheeks made her turn around impossibly faster, feeling guilty at the dirty thoughts consuming her brain while around her bosses – and in front of him. Making a beeline straight to her room, announcing she was calling it a night, she sent Harry a quick -but quite charming- smile, and couldn’t help but soften at the sound of Anya running down the stairs yelling an excited ‘Harryyyy’ once she was past the kitchen.

She knew she got lucky with her commodities – an entire studio-like apartment past the main kitchen of the house, where the servant’s area used to be located a handful of decades ago; but she cussed in a whisper when she remembered half way through her making of a sandwich (four hours after she’d retreated to her bedroom and because she decided on skipping dinner that night, not having enough energy to cook) that her lazy ass still hadn’t bought mayonnaise. Her small kitchen had enough space to hold her snacks, along with some ingredients to make a few meals, since she only had to worry about food on the weekends. Reluctantly, she took the small plate holding her sandwich and made her way towards the main kitchen. There was no way in hell she’d eat a sandwich with no mayo – never in a million years, too dry to go down her throat.

I guess they won't mind if I grab just enough to put on my sandwich, she thought. The house was quiet, everyone probably already in bed, therefore she almost pissed herself when she found Harry sitting in one of the kitchen stools, looking down at his phone with an annoyed expression adorning his face. Almost as if he could sense someone was in the same room, he looked up to find Y/N standing at the kitchen threshold, his face abandoning any sort of emotion.

"Hey."

"Hi." Y/N walked towards the fridge on the far right of the kitchen, opposite from where she came in. "Sorry, I thought no one was here."

"Don't worry, just waiting for Bella and Alex to come back down to have some tea, they're putting the girls to sleep. Would you like to join us?" He offered. And honestly, she'd love to say yes and just listen to him talk with that deep, melodic voice, but her stomach was really hating her right now.

"I'm good, just grabbing some mayo. Thank you, though." She declined with a small smile.

"Next time." He sounded more demanding than suggesting, which slightly baffled Y/N. "Can I ask where you are from?" He asked respectfully.

"A small town in the Argentine Patagonia." Y/N replied with her back facing him as she busied herself with the mayonnaise container.

"Never been to Argentina. Or anywhere in South America, actually." And when Y/N turned around, sandwich in hand ready to go back to her room, their eyes met across the kitchen and she felt the heat creeping up her neck for the second time that night. Y/N wondered how his gaze was always this intense – she wasn’t a fan of how they’d barely exchanged a few words and somehow she felt so exposed.

"You should. It's beautiful." She almost, almost, choked on her own words and when she looked down at her fuzzy pink socks and back to him to try and calm her growing nerves down, he surprised her when she caught him looking up and down her body – in any other case she definitely would’ve felt creeped out, but there was something about him, the fact that he definitely didn’t do it with the intention of her catching him (she noticed how he shifted uncomfortably on his seat after the exchange) and how he simply added a “I’m sure it is," afterwards, she knew she was fucked right then and there – she wanted him looking at her. Was that something bad?

But then – then she remembered how she was wearing her soft cotton pajamas, and she began wondering if he was just laughing internally at her outfit instead of checking her out like she initially thought. And just like a save from heaven, Bella and Alex appeared in the kitchen discussing who was picking Ivy up from her friend's house. "Hi Y/N, still awake?"

"Yeah, got hungry. Stole a bit of mayo, hope you don't mind." She shyly held the plate up.

"Please, this is your house too." Alex waved her off.

"Thanks. Gonna go back now." Y/N pointed towards the small hallway that led to her room. "Goodnight." Turning her body to walk away, she caught Harry's eyes, again, still staring at her, but decided on simply walking away, breaking eye contact, making that small interaction their last one for the night.

&

The following week consisted of Anya and Y/N playing lots of fun games, trying to get a word out of Charlie and Ivy ignoring her for the most part. Her relationship with each of them was completely different, each trusting her at their own peace, getting used to having a stranger around. Anya seemed the only one openly excited to hang out with Y/N every day, and even though she could tell Charlie didn't exactly mind her presence, she still hadn't talked to her as much as she'd like her to.

"What are you up to, Charlie?" Y/N asked the seven year old as she sat next to her in the big playroom they had on the main floor. Charlie kept her gaze locked on her drawing with a handful of crayons on her right hand as she drew with her left. "You're left handed? That's so cool!" Bella had mentioned some time ago that Charlie had a really hard time letting people in, Y/N knew it'd take some time for her to see her as a friend -like she wanted her to- rather than someone who gets paid to hang out with her, but Bella confessed Charlie was actually really excited to meet Y/N, which felt like a small relief, knowing she actually wanted her there – unlike Ivy. Charlie spoke only when necessary and struggled with making friends but her psych pedagogue said she's just really shy and that ‘once she breaks out of her shell, she's unstoppable’. "I love the birds you drew here." Y/N pointed at some small birds sitting in a tree branch.

"Bluebirds." She murmured.

Getting a single word from her was considered progress, in Y/N’s opinion, but that’s all she got for the entire afternoon – even after constantly sending comments her way while playing with Anya so Charlie wouldn’t feel left out, not a single word came out of her mouth. Anya mentioned Harry at some point while talking about her favorite doll (which Harry had gifted her for her 3rd birthday) and the flash of captivating green eyes almost blinded her internally (she couldn’t deny she’d thought about Harry every once in a while this past week)

And it wasn’t until later that same day, after spending a long while sitting alone in a nearby park, she got the chance to see him again – even if he had scared her (almost) to death, she couldn’t help but feel an annoying flutter in her stomach.

She would like to say she loved her long walks during the most unreasonable times at night, but her reasoning behind her late night needs of distraction didn’t exactly thrill her. It was during the quietest and most peaceful times of the day when her mind seemed to speed faster than ever before; the sleepless nights and brain-wrecking thinking of how alone and empty she actually felt, along with the laziness and reluctance when it came to things that used to make her happy weighed her down like carrying a sack of potatoes on her back.

As she was walking past her neighbor's house (the one where she had seen that man with the suitcases last week) she noticed someone sitting on the large porch. Weird, she thought. She hadn't noticed any movement in the house since that night a week ago, to the point she even considered it being empty again. The silhouette seemed oddly familiar though she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

"Y/N." She slightly jumped as she heard them call for her, in a strong and deep accent. Was that...

"Harry?" She asked befuddled. Did he live there? She watched as he stood up from his sitting position on the outdoor couch and walked across his front yard to take a closer look at him stopping at the bottom of the short staircase that leads to the porch. "What are you doing up so late?" And then something clicked in her brain – he was probably the man she saw that night, with his suitcases. It made sense, how he probably got home from vacation the same day he had dinner at the Lockehold's – the same day Bella mentioned something about him being in Italy

"Can't sleep." He simply replied, with a small sigh. He then nodded to the seat behind him, and Y/N could physically feel her brain going a thousand miles per minute. She sat on the far left of the couch as he retook his seat on the right, "what are you doing up so late?" He repeated her question.

And Y/N repeated his answer. "Can't sleep."

So they sat in silence, what felt like hours barely being a few seconds. "Didn't know you lived next door." Y/N took the time to take in his side profile - sharp and long nose, the tip curving slightly downwards when he spoke the next line.

"Never mentioned it." He replied apathetically. The unexpected switch in his tone made her immediately shut up, and even though it confused Y/N as to why he would want her joining him if he didn't want to talk, she was dreading going back to her room alone to drown in her thoughts again. She'd take uncomfortable company over being alone when her head got like this, it helped her get distracted; overthinking this situation instead of the same scenarios that constantly lived in her head.

They again sat in silence for a while, this time for longer than a few minutes, and even though it was slightly uncomfortable, there was an unspoken understanding between them. He just wanted company, and so did she. This time, however, it was him who tried for conversation. "Why did you choose England for your Au Pair program?"

"I was actually convinced I was going to choose France," Y/N shared with a soft tone, "but when I met the girls in one of my interviews I just knew I had to come here. Anya was so excited about meeting me, she thought it was already settled." She ended with a small smile on her lips. The memory of Anya smiling happily at her through the computer screen even when she hadn't had met her yet warming her heart.

It was true, the fact that she’d chosen England because of the girls. She wanted to learn French – she knew her way around the English language pretty well; but the French family whom interviewed her didn’t come close to the Lockehold’s at all – she thought maybe the experience of living in a whole different continent with a wonderful family was better than choosing a place because of the language – the experience was being experienced either way.

"Anya is a very special kid. They all are." Harry declared, the left corner of his mouth turning upwards in a small half smile.

Y/N nodded slowly before asking, "How long have you known them?" She could recall Alex saying he was a family friend – but she had no other information about him besides that.

"A while." The small conversation went for a long while, he shared the real reason as to why he was awake so late, explaining how he has struggled with falling asleep ever since he was young, but besides that comment, he kept his life very private; not sharing much information about himself during their chat, and every time Y/N reciprocated a question, he would either answer vaguely or didn't answer at all, changing the subject with another question. "It's really late" He commented, Y/N’s phone reading 1:08am.

"Yeah, I should probably go to bed." She lifted her head to look at him, who was already searching for her eyes. Y/N cleared her throat when a few moments passed by, again, with no one speaking a word. She wondered what could possibly be going through his head at the time, but he nodded, got up and said, "I'll see you around, Y/N." Her name flowed so nicely out of his lips it made her knees get weak. Locking herself in her bedroom (after entering it by the door at the side of the house – which leaded straight to her room) she laid in bed trying to understand why they’d just hang out in his front porch way past midnight when they clearly didn’t know each other very well – or at all, better said.

&

First day of classes came by in a heartbeat. The first Monday of September Y/N found herself getting up earlier than she was accustomed to, since the girl's sleeping schedule was different during the summer. 6:15am read her alarm when she lazily threw the soft covers off her body. A quick shower and minimal makeup application later, she stood naked next to her bed checking the weather app, as to know how to prepare the girl's clothes.

After putting a soft pink sweater on and a pair of flared jeans, Y/N left the warmth of her room to wake the girls up. Going for Charlie first (since she didn't need any help changing into her uniform and Ivy used her own alarm) she didn't give Y/N any work at all, waking up immediately after softly calling her name once. Picking her uniform from her closet and leaving it for her to change, Y/N left Charlie’s room to walk towards the next door.

"Morning, Anya." She whispered as she brushed some of her hair out of her face. Anya’s little nose scrunched up and a soft whimper left her mouth as she switched positions, now laying on her side, "gotta wake up, love." Y/N shook her arm softly, and she finally opened her eyes, a tired smile creeping up her face as she noticed it was Y/N sitting next to her. Y/N left her to rub the tiredness off her eyes while she picked her clothes (since her daycare was at the same school her older sister's attended -Harry's school, Y/N couldn't help but think- her uniform consisted of only a white t-shirt with the school logo along with any pair of bottoms she chose for the day.

After picking up her cute small rain boots and help her get dressed up, Y/N did a cute hairstyle on her with the small butterfly hair clips she chose, and went back to Charlie's room to do her hair, Anya coming along.

They arrived at their school; a big, period-like brick building with hundreds of students roaming around and a beautiful fountain at the front – which actually made Y/N’s childhood look like a big joke; the school she had attended was located in the middle of the mountains in a remote field.

"I'll be here at two thirty. Good luck, girls, I'll see you later." Ivy walked away sending a 'mhm' her way to let her know she heard her, and Charlie offered a small smile along with a wave and walked away like her sister. Y/N took Anya off her car seat and helped her get out of the car, her tiny backpack sitting on Y/N’s right shoulder as she grabbed the hand Anya offered her.

"Mommy said I have the penguins' classroom!" She said with excitement as they walked through the doors at the right wing of the building.

"That's so cool! I love penguins, let's search for the door which has penguins on it, shall we?" Y/N suggested even though she could clearly see their door at the end of the hallway.

"Yes! This one has elephants," she pointed at the door they were passing, "look, butterflies!"

"Like your hairclips!" Y/N exclaimed, and she giggled nodding her head. "Ah! Look what we found..." Y/N pointed at the next door.

"Penguins!" She skipped towards the door, dragging Y/N along. They entered the big and colorful classroom where they found some kids crying in their parent’s arms, others being as excited as Anya.

"Hi there! Anya, am I correct?" A woman who appeared to be around Y/N’s age came up to them, scrunching down to be on Anya’s eye level. She nodded frantically, excitement dripping from her smile. "My name is Miss Pia, I'm going to be your teacher this year." She introduced herself, Anya gave her an even bigger smile and slyly asked if she could go meet her classmates, to which Miss Pia agreed, asking her to first hang her small backpack in the rack at the back of the room, taking it from my hands and running excitedly to do it.

"You must be Y/N, then?" Miss Pia asked, getting back up to her feet. She was short with blonde curly hair sitting high in a ponytail, rosy cheeks and a cute teacher apron on top of her regular clothes.

"I am." Y/N offered her hand.

"The administration office said we would be having an Au Pair this year, they always give us a heads up with situations like these." She explained, and Y/N nodded as she continued, "we have the parents, nannies or in this case, Au Pairs," they both laughed," stay for the introduction, you can leave afterwards."

"Perfect, I'll sit at the back with the rest of the parents." Y/N ended up staying for about half an hour, smiling at Anya every time she turned to search for her when something exciting seemed to be happening. She won't be needing any adaptation, as Miss Pia said, and she was dismissed right before they had their first trip to the playground outside, taking advantage of the fact that it hadn't started raining yet.

Right when Y/N was walking out of the building, she spotted Harry at the main entrance, reading something on his phone. He was wearing a navy blue suit with a white shirt underneath, and he looked even more handsome in the daylight. She made her way towards him, walking up the marble stairs (marble stairs! In a school?), and when he noticed her, he put his phone away and slowly (and trying to be as discrete as possible – which he failed to, again) looked up and down her body. Something about him giving her his full attention made her insides burn, and she couldn’t help but bit her bottom lip to suppress a smile.

"Hi." She stopped in front of him, taking a moment to look at his eyes; they definitely looked a lot lighter now that there was natural light surrounding them.

"Hi." He repeated, "Dropped the girl's off?" He motioned towards the building with his head.

"Yes, just left Anya’s classroom." She shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

"Miss Pia?" He asked, squinting his eyes.

"Yes. She's nice, looks like she knows what she's doing." Y/N shrugged. She didn't exactly know her enough to have a conversation about her – and she most definitely couldn’t be one to talk, since she herself didn’t know what she was doing half of the time. “How’s the first day back been so far?” He got cut off from his next comment by his phone, and the small crease between his eyebrows grew deeper, which didn’t go unnoticed by Y/N. "I'll leave you to it." She announced, but his eyes found hers again, and it was almost like he was asking for her to not leave him to it, but Y/N didn’t trust her instincts, not with him – not when he made her so nervous her brain couldn’t process things around him, and she was scared of misreading his expressions; he was hard to read. Not like she was expert at reading people but he was frustratingly confusing.

&

They didn't see each other again until a week later on a Tuesday evening – the same day Charlie, Anya and her decided to go for a walk and treat themselves with ice cream from a cute shop across from (what had come to be) her favorite park, Harry and Y/N found each other's eyes across his front garden, just like that night, but this time it was easy for her to recognize him as she could see his face clear and glowing from the sunset shine. His eyes were glued to her until the fence that divided their houses blocked his view, and again, Y/N wondered what could be going through his head.

It wasn’t until after dinner, past her work hours, she decided to leave the house through the door on her room with the sparking curiosity to test if she would run into Harry. Stopping on the sidewalk in front of his house, she noticed he was not sitting outside, and even though that's exactly what she had expected -he was not going to sit there for hours and hours, right?- There still was a small feeling of disappointment that rushed through her, and when she snapped back into reality, it was too late to stop herself as she knocked on his front door.

And Y/N didn’t know where to hide – not like hiding would be less embarrassing but God she did hate herself that moment. The embarrassment running through her veins was painful and made her lightheaded – she knew she had trouble sometimes with not thinking things through, but this was beyond her. He barely knew her. And suddenly his door was wide open.

"Y/N?" Of course she was not lucky enough for him to be asleep and not hearing her knock – life would’ve been too in her favor for that to happen. Of course he was very awake with a half drank cup of tea in his hand and the softest looking pair of grey sweatpants hanging low on his hips. "Are you ok? You look really pale." His voice was calm, probably the softest it'd ever been in her presence. At least he doesn't sound mad, Y/N thought.

Harry wanted to be confused, but he was more curious than anything else. For some reason, he felt very intrigued by Y/N – how she seemed confident but insanely insecure at the same time; it reminded him of himself, if he had to be honest. He just learned how to hide the latter.

"Uh, yeah- um, I was-" she nervously turned around halfway to look behind her and back at him again. He raised his eyebrows in curiosity and Y/N really tried her hardest not to step over her words. "I was about to go for a walk, uh, I was wondering if you'd like to join me?" Stupid. So, so stupid, Y/N thought.

"No, I'm good." He replied, finding oh-so-amusing the way her eyes gave her embarrassment away – he was having fun, watching her like a lost puppy trying to think through her next words.

Her mind was, of course, over speeding. She now felt even more embarrassed. Of course he doesn't want to go for a walk, Y/N conscience spoke to her, it's a Tuesday night and he's probably tired and I'm his friends' Au Pair – he probably thinks I'm this young and annoying girl who has a stupid crush and- "would you like to join me?" He interrupted her self-beating up raising his cup and she noticed the half smile adorning his face, almost like he could tell the wheels in her brain were fast-moving.

"Wouldn't want to interrupt-"

"You're not. I wouldn't have invited you in if you were. C'mon in, now. It's kinda cold out here." He disappeared inside of his house, leaving her on his porch with an open mouth and a blank brain. After closing the door behind her and taking her black vans off, she turned on her left as she guessed that was the way Harry went – and she knew she’d guessed correctly when she stepped into a big open-plan concept living room with a giant kitchen on the far back, Harry standing with his back towards her preparing her tea, "sugar?"

"No, thank you." She sat in one of the stools at the kitchen island as she took the scene in front of her. Her very cute (and much older), very hot neighbor Harry, in sweatpants and a very thin white shirt, a small patch of skin showing on his hip, making her tea. His shoulders were broad and she could see his back muscles moving as he poured steaming hot water into the cup, the little curls on his neck so inviting, if only she could run her hand through his soft looking hair just once-

"There you go. Cardamom." He snapped her out of her (probably inappropriate) thoughts, and she thanked him as she grabbed the cup from where he placed it; he stayed in his position standing in front of her on the other side of the island, with his forearms against the cold marble, sipping on his own mug, thinking about how strange it felt to have someone he wasn’t close with sitting in his kitchen after so long. "Why are you up so late?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"I figured. I couldn't either, looks like we both have a bit of sleeping issues, huh?" He sounded playful, but tired. Y/N knew exactly how it felt, being so tired but not being able to peacefully go to bed and get some needed rest.

"I remember you mentioning it before, I figured I'd check if you were up. Walking helps me relax, thought maybe you'd enjoy it too." OK, that wasn't entirely true but her reasoning to be there was quite similar – to check if he was up so they could, maybe, share a quiet night like that one a few weeks ago. None of them understood why they found such comfort in each other’s company – none of them felt like they needed to try too hard.

At some point during their conversation they moved to the couch, where they laid with a wide gap between their bodies. "Elton John's was definitely an interesting read. Lots of crazy anecdotes, you should read it."

"Probably not as good as Keith's, but I'll give it a go." He let a dimpled smile creep into his face, turning his head to look at her from across the couch and the annoying turn her stomach made obliged her to return it, just as bright as his. Finding out their music taste was quite similar made Y/N’s insides all warm and fuzzy, he showed her his vinyl collection (which was quite large) and ranted about how the modern industry was missing a rock star with some of that unexplainable essence old rock bands have – to which she respond saying maybe that something that makes them special was the fact that they were old bands... added to the fact that even though she was an old music lover, modern pop was her guilty pleasure.

Their third teacups were long forgotten on the modern coffee table by the time he noticed Y/N’s eyes were slowly beginning to close and he, as last time, said, "it's really late." And Y/N only nodded and tiredly got up from her position, with him following close behind.

"Goodnight, Harry. Thank you for having me even though I came unannounced." She shyly said, her actions still making her embarrassed even though it had already been a couple of hours.

"My pleasure. We should- do this again," He coughed into his hand, and uncomfortably continued, "I enjoy your company." That sentence alone made her heart explode with a thousand emotions, because even though they barely knew each other and it clearly pained him to admit he enjoyed having her around, his presence made her calm but anxious in a peculiar mixture of emotions. All she did in return was gift him a big smile, face hot of embarrassment (a nice kind of embarrassment, that feeling when you just want to smile really big and tightly hug whoever is making you feel that way) and slowly pushed herself up on her tiptoes to give him a sweet kiss on the cheek. "Bye." He said lastly, and closed his front door with red cheeks and dimples on display.

- Joey.