#me 🤝 he xuan: violently mentally ill.

[grrritz-ezra]

ok guys (modern human au)He Xuan hcs but it’s literally just me projecting:

1. He Xuan is touch starved. He lashes out and acts disgusted when people touch him because he’s not used to it at all. And since he’s not used to it, he can’t determine whether it’s a good or bad feeling. So he categorizes it all as bad

2. He Xuan had trouble recognizing himself in the mirror a lot of the time. Like not the “i cant recognize myself” but he’s constantly stuck between who the person in the mirror is and who he is. Not really understnding where his reflection starts and his real self ends. He’s more worried about what the hell is in the mirror than what he actually looks like though

3. Dogshit memory. He can’t remember his actual childhood whatsoever. It’s just a vague feeling about a certain situation or person and he has no clue wwhere it comes from

4. His friendship with Shi Qingxuan is completely unhealthy. He knows it is. Not because Shi Qingxuan needs him or anything but because he needs to be friends with them or else he won’t feel normal. He doesn’t have anyone else that he feels a connection to so he forces himself to have a connection with Shi Qingxuan. And sure, he does care about them but at the same time he’s not sure how to function without them.

5. I’ve decided that he’s colorblind because I am too

6. He Xuan likes fish because they’re easy to understand. They don’t have complex emotions and behaviours that he would have to figure out and keep up with. They live their lives relatively peacefully and never stress or fear. He’s just jealous bro 🙄