#me @ me: who knew you'd become a vinyl person

[vagueconfusion]

There was a vinyl release of Jaws and The Way That You Were and they go for over $600 now which is way too expensive for me to buy................

[mytheoristavenue]

You were obsessed with him, with whole band honestly, but the young pianist/singer had captivated you body and soul. That's what lead you to where you currently were, vibrating with excitement in a long line to the meet and greet table.

"I can't believe you spent that much in tickets just to meet these guys," your friend, who you'd dragged to the show with you scoffed, shifting their weight to the other side. "They're music isn't even that good."

You couldn't disagree more, but you weren't here for the music and they knew that. "Did I bitch and moan when you dragged me to that Fallen Angels concert so you could drool all over their drummer?" You sassed back, sticking your tongue out.

"Mezo Shoji's a sex icon." They argued. "You know he has a vibrating tongue stud, right?"

"Oh, I'm so sure." You rolled your eyes. "And even if he does, he's not using it on you."

"Right," they smirked, crossing their arms. "Just like just like you're never gonna get to lick Tamaki Amajiki's lip ring."

"(F/F/N) (F/L/N)!" You shrieked, slapping your hand over their mouth as people in line began to give you disgusted looks.

"Oh no, not the full government name!" They teased, snickering. In you flustered state, you hadn't realized how short the line had gotten until your friend nudged your shoulder. "Look we're next."

You froze as the person in front of you stepped put of the way, followed by the band for a photo op. They looked even more amazing in person than online. You watched them pose with the fan. Tamaki stood in the middle with the fan, his arm draped around their shoulder with a bright smile. Mirio did the same, his hand reaching over to rest on Tamaki's shoulder from the other side of the stranger, and Hado hugged the singer's side, throwing up a cheeky peace sign.

That was going to be the two of you in a moment, you realized as the group began to walk back to the table. You were frozen, holding up the line as you realized they were staring at you, waiting for you to step forward. "C'mon," your friend nudged you again pushing you toward the table.

"Hey there!" The guitarist beamed, becoming you forward, extending a hand to shake. "Thanks for coming out, how are you guys doing tonight?" You meekly took his hand, speechless.

"Sorry about my friend, they're just kind of star struck, they're a big fan." Your friend explained with a smirk.

"Oh, well thank you!" Mirio grinned, shaking your hand with a sturdy grip. "We love our fans and we appreciate all your support!"

"Do you have something for us to sign?" Hado piped up, with a giggle, which only grew sweeter by how you shyly pushed the well worn vinyl copy of their first record out in front of you. "Awe, you're so shy!" She gushed, taking it from you and signing it before passing it to the singer. "Just like our Amajiki, isn't that right!" She nudged him, making him produce a timid smile as he peered up at you. "Amajiki, you have to talk to your fans, ya know!" She chided with puffed cheeks. "These people paid alot to meet you!"

"S-Sorry for that..." he finally spoke up, indigo eyes settling on yours timidly. "I-If it were up to me this would all be free..." he confessed before muttering under his breath to Hado. "Knowing people pay so much just to see us stresses me out..." He smiled up at you, finishing his signature and passing the record to Mirio. "Thanks for the support, we couldn't be here if it weren't for fans like you..."

"Oh yeah, they're a die hard fan for sure!" Your friend laughs, nudging your back in an effort to get you to talk. "Aren't ya?"

"M-Mhm... " you finally hummed, nodding bashfully. "Y-You guys are my favorite band, you're music has gotten me through so much..."

Tamaki's eyes lit up and he gave you a sunshine smile. "I-I'm so happy to hear that!" He beamed with a small laugh. "Knowing I can make a difference in someone's day means the world to me..."

"Hate to cut this short," Mirio piped up again, standing and motioning for his friends to do the same. "We're limited for 3 minutes per person. Ready for the picture?"

You paled, realizing how you squandered your few minutes of time with Tamaki as you stepped aside and followed the group over to the photo backdrop.

Tamaki stepped into the dead center, with you on his left and your friend on his right with Hado on your side and Mirio on theirs. You smiled brightly at the camera, preparing for the photographer to snap the picture. Suddenly a blush crept across your face when you felt a hard slip around your waist, pulling you close until your hips bumped with theirs. Cold steel rings and beaded bracelets told you who it was, though given the positioning it should've been obvious.

Snap.

You and your friend stepped stepped away after saying your goodbyes and you couldn't shake the heat in your face. That couldn't have possibly really happened, right?

Weeks later, you got an e-mail from The Butterfly Gazzette, the bands newsletter. It thanked you for you unending support, and attached was the photo you paid for. Sure enough, there he stood in the middle, hand on your hip and other arm slung around your friends shoulder. You cringed at your shocked and flustered face, contrasted with his innocent smile.

[vinyls-and-valentines]

Okay but now it's your time to tell us more about your thoughts on emo Party Poison and scene Jet Star Mx. vinyls-and-valentines, don't think you'll get away that easily/lh

- Joy 🕸️

Why, there's no need for me to evade the topic, for you see: my canon Jet Star and Party Poison are both scene and an emo kids at heart! Also music-wise. Really, all they're missing is the well-defined aesthetic, which is partly because the fashion associated with midwestern emo is so Battery City, and because clothes don't tend to stay unscaved for long, so sooner or later everything ends up looking like it was lifted off a crust punk's bedroom floor.

Party Poison's love affair with emo started one faithful evening, when au and Dr. D were alone at the station and the pre-teen ventured into the recording booth to find D doing one of his bi-yearly record sorting sessions. When the Doctor notices aum, he of course asks if au wants to help him sort through the records whose covers are far too faded to be discernable anymore— "it's a mindless task, but it's got to be done sometimes or I wouldn't hear the end of it on air!" Not having anything better to do, Poison accepts and together they go through quite a few records, labeling them until Poison lands on a record from the 90s— not emo, but post-hardcore— which ends up becoming the gateway to aum getting into proper emocore and its dissolution across multiple branches of punk music.

Fashion-wise, black simply is Poison's color of choice because blood doesn't stain it easily, and because it is a form of going directly against BL/i dress code as much as wearing all neon colors. In Battery City and most neutral towns, dark colors are seen as somber and only fitted for formal wear or officials in positions such as exterminators, whereas light colors are seen as uplifting and appropriate for everyday wear as they encourage positive thinking and productivity. When Poison first came into the Zones most everything au knew about killjoys was what au was told by BL/i or the people in aur neighborhood (so nothing good) and so aur first instinct was to reject the color, but the white was also no longer safe, so au turned to the color black— doubling down on it to the point of having aur entire wardrobe be black as you'd expect someone at aur age at the time to do.

Jet Star's introduction to scene was at an after party at the Nest, where most people who were not quite old enough even by Zone standards to partake in certain activities or were just sensitive to strobing lights and such gathered outside and played cards/watched others play cards/bet who'd win at cards, while passing around a hand-held stereo to anyone with an 8-track or compact disk on them. As Star didn't quite have anything to his name yet other than kandi bracelets (which are a part of Zone culture as PLUR was kept alive through the live music scene) and a half-dead novelty lighter, he watched from the sidelines, commenting on the different matches with other joys and just soaking in the music playing and how it kind of clashed with the bass and fragments of other tunes from inside the Nest itself. The music played was purposefully shit, no matter how much the person who put it on talked about it like it was the coming of Destroya, but Star still found himself enjoying quite a few of the neon pop and techno and industrial-influenced tracks, which is where his whole music sense really stemmed from.

Fashion-wise, Star simply really enjoys "proper" killjoy fashion that is usually worn out at bars and concerts— brightly colored and pattern-heavy, layered in uncommon ways, but still very much oriented towards easily-readable and clunky shapes, with complex hairstyles and accessory combinations. It is hard at times to draw a line between his more glam rock inspired looks and the proper scene ones as they overlap in certain areas aesthetic-wise when Star is the one pulling them off, but then again, what is Zone culture if not genre (and gender) anarchy? He's also really into Gloomy Bear merch and the whole creepy-cute aesthetic, and has many many Gllomy Bear, Sanrio and rhinestone sticker sheets in one of the drawers in the garage

[getitinbusan]

CAM BUNNY TWO - SMUT

Part ONE Here

"Baby I'm so bored." 

You set your book face down to hold it's space, it was the 4th time he'd interrupted you.

"Why aren't you working on your mixtape, you need to get it done Guk." 

His fingers walked up your bare leg and stopped at the hem of your shorts. 

"I need inspiration," he whined while climbing on top of you. 

Tucking his head into your neck he trailed kisses down your collar bone, "and I'm horny."

You giggled while pushing his head, trying to keep him at bay but it only made him try harder. 

"I'd wager a bet that in the last 2 months you've had more sex than in your entire life." 

He smiled devilishly, "It's not my fault you feel so good."

He picked up the new vibrator that had been delivered earlier, "Plus, how am I supposed to focus with all this stuff around." 

"You want me to use it on you? We can show..." you picked up the card, "DaddyDong69 his gift in action." 

Jungkook laughed, "I can't believe men send you these things. Do you think they'd still watch if they knew you had a boyfriend?" 

You playfully bit the tip of the silicone, "Wanna find out?" 

Hoseok quickly walked back to his room from the dance studio. Lately he'd been experiencing an unusual but not necessarily unwelcome side effect of his long practice sessions.

It took  about 10 minutes to hit, his work outs had been increasing his testosterone levels, making his blood pump straight to his cock.

Turning the handle and locking the door behind him, he immediately tugged his pants down. Laptop and moisturizer conveniently at the ready he woke up the screen with the pad of his finger. 

He shouldn't be on here but he couldn't help himself, the CAMBUNNY site had been bookmarked for the last few months and he'd become a regular.

Jungkook didn't have to know, you didn't have to know. As long as he stayed on the screen chat what did it hurt? 

Your light was off, damn, what a waste of an erection.

Scrolling through pictures, he could get off to someone else, but it wouldn't be the same. Suddenly like you knew he was waiting, your availability turned on. 

_______________

"You wanted to play Kookie, so we're going to play."

His eyes looked innocent and naive, two things he definitely wasn't. "Don't worry, I'll protect your secret identity."

You winked and threw the latex suit at him "Go put this on." 

Getting everything set up you flicked your room to open. 

Jungkook stood over you, "Why does everyone use weird names? What's an Angma-J?"

You laughed at him, "Well TOKKI...an Angma is a devilish fiend. A mischievous person who is extremely addicted to some pernicious habit, and in this case, I'm going to guess that it's porn." 

"Hmm," he repeated the word for practice, "pernicious...Is he a regular?"

"Yeah, he's been around a while, seems harmless enough. Want me to ask?" 

He slid the mask over his head, "Let's do it!" 

________________

"Hey baby," you spoke into the camera. "I was wondering if you'd like to watch something new tonight?"

Angma-J: What are you thinking? I'm so hard for you. 

I thought maybe you'd like to watch me get fucked by a real cock."

You pulled Jungkook and his shiny suit into the frame.

"You can pretend it's you in there...you inside me, you making me moan...what do you say?" 

Nothing, silence...you waited. Jungkook clicked mute, "Y/N, he's not going to do it, I'm telling you." 

"He will so you'd better shut up and remember not to use our names." 

________________

Was he really going to do it? Was he so sexually deprived that he'd sit here and watch you and Jungkook fuck while he masturbted?

He hit the keys one at a time…. words began appearing on the screen….

Angma-J: Fuck yes.

_______________

You gave a quick wink to the camera and pulled your shirt off leaving Jungkook dumbfounded.

He had been 100% positive that Angma-J was going to bail and that he'd just get to fuck you while wearing the suit. 

He was frozen, you needed to fix this.

Leaning close to the camera, tits filling the screen you blocked the view of the room. Hitting mute you turned your head to look at him. "Guk, baby, are you scared?" 

"Not scared, I just don't know how to start…"

"I want you to show him I'm yours okay? Show him that real men get to fuck real women and not just their hands."

"Okay."

"Come stand behind me and play with my tits."

Unmuting and backing away from the camera his gloved hands wrapped around your chest and firmly gave your nipples a tug.

His touch turned them hard and he couldn't resist lowering his head to take a long suck. The open zipper mouth of his mask dragged cool and sharp across your flesh in contrast to his hot tongue on your bulleted tips. 

He looked up at you, his eyes weren't sparkly and playful as usual, they were dark and dangerous.

He brought his mouth to yours, teasing, coaxing your tongue to meet his. Grabbing your breast he held up your nipple in the space between you, both your tongues darting over it and each other. 

"Lay back," he commanded.

Moving to pull him back with you he caught both your hands. His one large hand easily secured both your arms above your head.

He smirked while angling the camera between your legs, "Don't you love looking at this pretty cunt?" 

_________________

Hope could barely believe what he was seeing. He was so jealous that Jungkook got to fuck you whenever he wanted. 

He looked down at his weeping cock wishing he could just put it in you. 

Angma -J: put your fingers in her and fuck her with them …. rough.

________________

Jungkook looked at you, it was strange yet exciting to let someone else call the shots.

While he was apprehensive to proceed without your consent, he had also watched you before, and felt he knew your limits.

He held his fingers up to the camera and smiled before he plunged them two deep inside you without warning. 

His hand thrust hard, you were sure you'd be bruised from his knuckles in the morning. 

Still confining your hands, you were at his mercy. Bringing his mouth back to your chest he bit your nipple and tugged it between his teeth. 

"Fuck…" you almost said his name but caught yourself.

He laughed, "Fuck what baby? Does your tiny pussy hurt from my fingers?" He looked back at the camera, "should I give her another?"

________________

Hope shifted in his seat, cock in hand stroking the tip slowly.

He was trying not to be over eager, he wanted this to last. He'd tuned into you a few times but fuck, something about watching Jungkook use you made it 100 times better.

Angma -J: Tell me how she tastes

_______________

The question triggered him, the look he had on his face was predatory. Being allowed to let his perversions come out while in disguise felt so good.

He let go of your hands and dropped to his knees. Spreading your wet lips apart he smiled directly into the camera before taking a big lick. 

"So fucking good, like a tart juicy apple. You know when you take a hug bite and it gets all over your chin..fuck, just like that. 

He worked his mouth around your clit, circling it, sucking it, teasing it until your excitement was dripping. 

Using his tongue he gathered up your milky discharge and held it out for Angma-J to envy.

Making a show of swallowing it Jungkook moaned, "Hot apple pie." 

________________

He almost came right then and there. He had to look away from the screen before he blew his load.

Angma-J: Make her suck you off

_______________

You swear you'd never seen Jungkook this happy about anything.

He stood up over you with a crooked grin, "We both want my cock in your mouth."

Standing up you let your hands travel over the black vinyl suit. It hugged every curve, accentuated every muscle as his hard cock strained against it looking for release. 

You got on your knees and licked the outline of his tip while looking into the camera.

The zipper ran from bottom to top, starting at the base of his cock to just below his belly button. You opened it slowly and only enough to remove his balls.

His delicate flesh laying against the suit made a strong contrast for the camera. He let his head fall to watch while you sucked them into your mouth, one at a time, back and forth. 

"You want more, baby?"

Jungkook nodded as you worked the zipper higher. His full hard length sprang out demanding attention from your mouth. 

You put your hands behind your back so your viewer could see everything.

Just sucking his tip, Jungkook got whiney, not getting the full sensation he was after.

"That's not enough, I know you can take my whole cock." 

You smiled and flicked his tip with your tongue, "make me."

Grabbing a fist full of hair he pulled your head back, "Open wide for Appa." 

He slid his cock into your mouth slowly the first few times letting your throat relax then faster and deeper.

Holding your head stationary he fucked himself into your throat. Gagging around him, drool spilled from your mouth down your tits. Unclasping your hands from behind you, you rubbed the liquid over your breasts.

Lubricating your nipples you scissor pinched them between your fingertips. 

_______________

Angma-J: I want to see her pink pussy get off on the suit. Thigh ride? 

_______________

Jungkook groaned, "But i'm not done." 

"Too bad babe, you've gotta do what the customer wants and the customer wants to watch me get off."

You smiled playfully at the lens and switched to the bed camera.

"I think we can give you a good view from here." 

You patted the bed for Jungkook to lay down and grabbed a bottle of lube from the bedside table.

Holding it high in the air you let a stream fall slowly over his leg, fuck this was going to feel good. 

Straddling his thigh you let your sex slide across him. The slick of the wet vinyl dragging across your clit was almost too much sensation to handle.

Jungkook and J-Hope both stroked themselves in time with your motions as you humped Kookies leg.

Hobi leaned into the screen, your opening was glimmering with wetness and he could see you beginning to clench.

Crying out, Jungkook grabbed your hips and helped you move through your climax. The thick strings of your release clung between you and the suit, a white trail sticking to the material. 

Both men were becoming desperate to cum. 

"How should I finish her?"

______________

Angma-J: "In her ass, I bet she really likes that"

______________

"Do you like that baby? Do you like taking my cock in your ass?"

In show of approval you spread your ass cheeks apart.

Running his fingers over your cunt he gathered the excess slick and pushed it into your anus making you moan. 

He looked at the Camera, always the showman, "Are you ready?" 

He slapped your bottom, and pressed his tip at your entrance. Pushing nice and slow he meweled, "I love fucking this ass." 

Sitting back on his knees he held your hips guiding you to thrust yourself onto him.

He liked it like this, he was always afraid he'd go too deep or too hard but like this, you were in control. You weren't afraid, you loved every stroke, feeling him deep inside you. 

He was breathing heavy...

Hope was clutching his cock ready to explode....

"Tell me I'm being a good girl."

"So fucking good." J hope moaned to the screen.

"Tell me how badly you want to cum into me."

"I want to watch it drip out of you baby," Kookie purred.

As you sank back he grabbed your waist and held you still while ejaculating into you with a grunt.

Pulling his cock out you backed into the camera.

J-Hope finished himself while watching Jungkook's cum ooze out of you and down your leg. 

Turning off the feed you collapsed beside your boyfriend.

Pulling his mask off, you kissed him passionately.

"I missed your face...and your body. Let's get you out of this suit." 

Showered and napped, he headed back to the dorms around dinner time. Most of the guys were already eating in the common kitchen.

Jungkook opened the fridge, there had to be at least 5 pies in there.

He looked at the others, "who the hell ordered all these?"

J-Hope came walking in holding a plate with a fork shoved in his mouth.

"Hobi," Jungkook clued in, "what fucking type of pie is that?"

Hope set the items on the counter before Jungkook could chase him. As he began to flee he yelled out laughing, "I had a sudden craving for Apple." 

[peachywise]

nullify

an umbrella academy fanfiction // klaus hargreeves x reader 

- part i: the introduction || part ii ⋆ part iii ⋆ part iv ⋆ part v ⋆ part vi ⋆  more parts to be released 

- synopsis: A child and a ghost whisperer walk into a diner. Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, but really it’s just the start of an odd, slightly painful night. Turns out they need you and your power to do something, and Klaus seems way to thrilled and fascinated by you and what you can do. (takes place after the events of the first season) 

- notes: lmao how long has it been since i wrote a fic?? too long thanks anyways the reader is they/them pronouns and everything is pretty vague description wise for inclusivity and shit!! also even though this is klaus x reader focused ~romance~ wise i’ll be writing a shit ton with the reader interacting with the other guys like this part is deadass just as focused on number five as it is klaus. let me know if you guys want this as a series??? i won’t write more parts if people aren’t down but i left it open-ended so it could be a series but honestly, it’d be fine as a one-off too so read what you will k love you bye. tw for swearing

link on ao3 

________________________________________

“Isn’t that a health code violation?” 

Looking up from your book you'd been reading for the past half hour, you heaved a heavy-handed sigh. Sitting on the back counter of the dead dinner you worked at was the least of this shitty establishments problems. “I’ll be sure to let the rats in the kitchen know of your concerns,” you replied simply. 

Dog-earring the page of your book, you set it down beside you. Hopping off, you stepped forward towards the counter as the kid who just entered sat down on one of the stools, planting himself with a look of clear repugnance as he eyed his surrounding subtly. Resting your elbows on the counter, you propped your head on your hands and gave a friendly grin, “I’m sure they’d be happy to whip up some Mickey Mouse pancakes, special just for you.” 

His face though perfectly deadpanned couldn’t hide the slight tick of annoyance in his eyes. “Just get me a black coffee,” he muttered. 

“Coffee will stunt your growth.” 

“You’ll be stunted if you keep up this horrible customer service.”

“Ouch,” sarcasm dripped from your tone as you raised your hands up in mock defeat, “the kitten’s got a bit of a bite there, doesn’t he?” 

Quite honestly, your day was now veering on to a particularly delightful route you hadn’t expected when you first woke up this morning. You suddenly believed some sort of divine karma was finally rewarding you with some quality entertainment. He could banter— a bit on the aggressive side, but you would take what you could get out of the interaction. You knew it wasn’t going to last long. 

“Look, are you going to give me the coffee or are you just going to stand around all day uselessly taking in the air that could be breathed in by more deserving people?” 

Oh, so he’s got knobby knees and wit to match. 

Letting a slow amused smile cross your face as you gave a lazy curtsy, you casually made your way over to the fresh pot and grabbed one of the porcelain white mugs, giving him a knowing look as you poured a good ‘ol black cup of joe. Setting the pot back down, you sauntered your way back over still holding the smile. The kid rolled his eyes, reaching out a hand as he impatiently said, “thank you,” in a refined and expertly practiced condescending manner. But you didn’t hand it to him. No, instead you casually leaned back against the back counter and took a long sip of the burning hot liquid. 

Well, the little tyke certainly did not like that. 

In what was an actually flash of blue light before your eyes, the kid vanished from his place on the rickety red vinyl stool and was beside you a moment later, ripping the mug from your hand with such force that caused the liquid to spill over the sides, scorching your hand and splashing it on your already grease stained, 50’s themed uniform. So, he was words and action. You could respect that. 

“What, no screaming? Not even another smartass comment?” He half-heartedly asked, his eyebrow quirked slightly as he studied you. It was like he was waiting for some sort of delayed reaction from his little magic trick. While yes, it was a little jarring to see it in the flesh for the first time, the moment he had walked through those glass doors you expected a bit of a ‘powerful’ confrontation.

You knew he was Number Five. You knew he was a part of that Umbrella Academy. 

“You know who I am,” he stated in his all brilliant glory. Well, look at that. Seemed he was a real Sherlock as well as a tiny space hopper.  

Easily taking the cup of coffee back, wincing slightly as the cold air pressed against the new burn you tried to seem unfazed about, you took a sip and mumbled against the rim of the cup, “I’m a bit surprised you’re here and actually alive, but it’s easy to remember a face that hasn’t aged a day." Setting the mug down on the counter, you pressed a hand to your hip and questioned, “how is that exactly? Did you run from home just to make yourself immortal? Found yourself an Edward Cullen to bite you or something?” 

Now, you’ve had people look at you like you were stupid before, but no one with a talent such as him. Even though he was looking up at you, he still mastered that beady squinty little look that read ‘you’re the joke of the earth’. Precious. 

“I don’t know who Edward Cullen is, but I’m not immortal, and I don’t have time to explain the whole story to you in detail. Let’s just say I got stuck in time.” Doing his little magic flash again, he appeared back on the other side of the counter, continuing to speak as he added, “Is anyone else here? I assume you’d rather show me what you can do without anyone else around.” 

Ah, yes. What you could do. So that was why he was here. Part of you wondered if someday it would happen. That’s why you knew who he was when he first walked in after all. You kept tabs on all of them, at least a bit. Yeah, the whole “Umbrella Academy” was famous for a little while when you were a kid, but most people had since forgotten them and the kids in the academy had grown up and had become almost unrecognizable. Well, apart from Five. And maybe Allison, but hell, she was famous for a while different reason now. 

Like the others, you were born October 1st 1989 to a completely unexpecting mother who got the shock of her god damn life. If you were 9 months pregnant in under a minute flat, you’d probably be pretty shocked too. However, you were just stunned that something as odd as that could actually happen and result in you getting powers.

Unlike the others, when your parents were approached by professor evil monopoly Reginald Hargreeves, your mom rejected anything he offered in favor of her miracle baby. She was certain she was the new Virgin Mary despite absolutely not being a virgin and refused to give up that title up. At least at that moment, she didn’t want to anyway.  

“You managed to figure out where I worked, and I assume at this point you know my name,” you started, “so why don’t you just tell me what I can do and let me know why you're here so I can turn you down and get back to my book.” Gesturing your hands around the extremely empty diner, you breathed, “I’m a very busy person as you can see.” 

Five didn’t say anything, instead just giving you an almost thoughtful look. You didn’t trust it one fucking bit. 

Quicker than you would have expected out him, he reached over and picked up one of the plates on the counter and threw it your way with such force you wondered for a second if the reason he'd been missing for so long was because he’d taken up a passionate love affair with baseball. On instinct, damn the treacherous thing, your body chilled as a static feeling pushed out of you, surrounding you in a soft, nearly invisible blue bubble-- your force field. The plate bounced right off and landed on the floor, shattering lamely and loudly. 

It was legal to kill a kid who had been missing for years, right?

“Can’t you play a game of catch with the poor kid?” Came a new drama-dripped voice in the door, the little bell ringing softly as he spoke. “His father was a sociopath who didn't pay him any mind, he’s very stunted as you can see. So desperate for the affection and attention of strangers.” 

Klaus. He’d been harder to track over the years, but from the feather collared jacket and lack of shirt, you could spot the eccentricity of him miles away. 

Taking on a protective stance, you moved from behind the counter and positioned yourself in front of Five, stage whispering to him, “careful, looks like one of the kitchen rats got out. They’re very diseased.”

Klaus tilted his head to the side, his mouth snapping open and his eyebrows rising up in stunned amusement. Pointing at you, he turned his attention towards Five and stated, “I’m wounded! This seems to be going on spectacularly, don’t you think?”

Shaking your head with a slight grin, you started to speak to ream five out for throwing a freakin’ plate, but your words died off on the tip of your tongue when your gross ass boss pushed open the doors to the kitchen, his loud, gritty greased voice shouted, “what did you break out here?” His spine went rigid a bit when he seemed to finally note the presence of two other people, but his eyes quickly glanced at the shattered plate and his face continued to get splotchy and red. “Is that your kid who broke it? Jesus, that’s coming out of your paycheck.”

Wow, that 50 cent shitty plate? How would you ever survive? 

Hands slipped around your neck in a hug as Klaus propped his chin on top of your head, his attention fully on your boss. “I’m so sorry sir, you know how it is with kids, gotta get all those angst and deep-seated feeling out somehow. Yesterday we found out he’s been pretending the family cat was his girlfriend. Had to take him to the hospital to get those scratches on his little friend checked out, if you know what I mean,” he smiled, moving away from you to pat the clearly seething Five on the head. 

Before the kid could say anything or do something that would get you in more shit, you plastered your own happy little smile on and bent down beside him, wrapping your arms around his shoulder as you continue to address your boss. “He was just upset because he found out I told his teacher about his little bed wetting problem.” Five ripped your arm away with incredible force and stepped away from you both. Sighing dramatically, you rested the side of your face on your palm and slightly shook your head, adding, “It’s so hard, I just don’t know where we went wrong!” 

Klaus snickered behind you, while your boss looked properly petrified and regretful about having walked in on the whole ordeal at all. 

“Just uh-- forget about it. Clean it up okay?” 

Giving him a wink and you stood back up, you flicked your wrist in a lazy salute. “You got it, Boss Man.” He couldn’t turn back around and get back to the back room fast enough. 

Turning the face the two once again, Klaus grinned as he said, “brilliant work,” raising his hand for a knowing high five. You happily obliged. 

“Was that really necessary?” Five ground out from between his teeth, as you shot him back an incredulous look. “Was it necessary to throw a plate at me?” you retorted, fully not expecting him to reply with, “Yes. It was the only way I could make sure you had a force field.” 

Smartass.

Running your hand through your hair tiredly to get it out of your face, you crossed your arms again and didn’t bother to argue anymore. “Just tell me what this is about.” At this point, you were tired and really just wanted to get back to your quiet night. Klaus was also giving you a once over every thirty seconds and you weren’t quite sure what he looked so bloody excited and anxious about. 

“I have a theory, and I’d like to test it out,” Five said. Klaus quickly interjected with, “and I’m one of the test subjects,” wiggling his eyebrows as he did. 

Narrowing your gaze, you questioned “one of?” 

“Well, it requires you, but before I explain, to what extent can you use your powers? Have you done anything more than just deflect things off your field?”

You shook your head, confusion still clouding your words. “That’s all. Some guy tries to knife me? He bounces off. Sometimes I get lucky and he stabs himself in the process. It’s a simple thing. 

“How many times has someone tried to knife you?” Klaus asked with a small snort, but Five cut him off with a great little bomb of information. “I’ve done some calculations on how your power works, and I think that if someone like us was in the field with you it might nullify our powers.”Huh.

“And... math makes you think that?” 

Five rolled his eyes. You got the idea he did that a fair bit. “I want to test out to see if that’s true, so if you will,  please conjure up your field around you and Klaus and we’ll see if it works on him.” 

Flashing your eyes to Klaus who almost seemed to jitter with excitement, your eyes got slightly wide when you asked, “wait, there’s a ghost here? Like right now?” You swiveled your head around like you would actually be able to see it.  

Klaus nodded his head. “Ben, meet Y/N, Y/N meet our brother Ben.” Pressing a hand to his heart, he added, “forever in our hearts and forever by my side. I am his saving grace.” Turning his head abruptly, he quickly said, “shut up,” to the air-- or Ben, rather-- slicing his hand in a silencing sound. 

Raising a hand hesitantly, you gave a flick of your wrist in that direction, squeaking out a small, “Hi Ben.” 

“If you two idiots are done,” Five muttered, but you stopped him as you said, “three idiots. It’s rude to dismiss Ben’s presence. You're his brother, be respectful.” Five ignored you. “The sooner we test this, the sooner we can leave.”  

Oh, now he was speaking your language. 

Shaking out your shoulders, you widened your stance and clapped your hands, saying, “alright, let's go.” Klaus gave some excited little claps as he stepped to your side, telling Five, “field trips are always so much fun!” 

Taking in a deep breath, you let the energy seep out of you until that familiar snap surrounded you, this time entrapping not on you, but Klaus as well. 

The smiling man quickly went silent. 

“So,” you started hesitantly, turning to study his face. “Did it work?” 

Multiple emotions seemed to cross his features, and it revealed to you certain hopelessness and vulnerability that was so unfamiliar to you and what you had known about him. It dawned on you at that moment that you had no idea what this meant. To him. To Five. Christ, nerves started to wrack through your body when you realized they could be having you do this just to try and kill you because they see it as some sort of ridiculous threat. Still, that seemed unlikely. No, they needed it somehow. 

And as Klaus turned towards you, looking at you as if you were some wonderous figure and not just some crappy diner waiter working two jobs just to get by, you realized that whatever they had been searching for, they had found. Whatever Klaus had been searching for, he had found. 

“They’re gone.” 

His voice was just a fraction above a whisper, but it sent a chill across your skin as his intense gaze once again studied you with incredible fascination. But as he took a step forward, his hand oh-so-gently reaching for your hand, your focus went away and the force field fell, all the sounds and senses of the real world hitting you all at once. 

Five was staring at you both with an odd look you didn’t quite know what to think of. 

“Alright."

Clearing your throat, you took a small step back as the fog cleared out of your head, stating back a dull, “huh?” 

“We’ll be at your apartment in the morning. Get ready to meet the others.” 

Wait, what the fuck?

“My apartment? You guys haven’t even explained what you guys want from me!” You blurted, moving your head rapidly as you looked back and forth between the two. 

“I’ll explain everything tomorrow,” was all Five said, as both him and Klaus began moving towards to door, clearly content with what they came here to do. Well, that was nice for them. They could sleep soundly as you sat up in bed all night looking up fucking umbrella academy conspiracy theories to try and convince yourself what happened here was actually real. 

“There’s no way in hell you’re getting those Mickey Mouse pancakes now!” You shot back as he exited the door, huffing as you turned around to go clean up the plate.

Then something smacked hard on the back of your head, landing on the ground with a little rattle. 

“Oopsie.”

Spinning around, gripping the back of your head, you were about to yell obscenities at Klaus who’d just thrown a spoon of all things, but he was already halfway out the door calling behind him, “I thought your little bubble would just appear like a party trick, bye!” 

Idiots. Idiots had just taken over your life.