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[mcranterreviews]

Editorial - Mobile Fishing

It may have been said before, and it will more than likely be said even more in the future, but a significant amount of mobile games tend to rely on a pay-to-win strategy: the more (hopefully disposable) income you shell out, the more likely you are to be a top-tier player.  You may have heard the term whale before: a term used by mobile game executives in reference to those with high levels of disposable income, meant to be taken as a target for a game’s higher-prices purchasing options that range up to $100.  I guarantee you that any game with a leaderboard that has in-game purchases has players that spent money on the game in the top ten.  That isn’t to say that in many cases you can’t find high-tier players that don’t spend a dime, they certainly exist.  But many games encourage players to spend money, and far too frequently.

From a personal standpoint, one such game for me was King of Thieves.  The game itself has incredibly gameplay, very responsive one-touch controls, and a unique mechanic.  As the name implies, you’re a thief, and your goal is to sneak into other players’ dungeons and steal gems from their totems to take them for yourself.  You tap to jump, and you can jump off of walls to run in the opposite direction as you were running previously.  Here’s the catch, from point A to point B: Gems are worth certain amounts of points, and your total points equal your overall score.  You have a severely limited space for Gems, so you need to free up space to steal more gems.  This leads to the purpose of your totem: by placing Gems into the totem, you can combine them together after a “ritual” that takes about about 12 hours... so long as nobody steals from your totem.  Fortunately, you have the ability to rearrange your dungeon and its traps in any way you see fit, so long as you can complete it yourself, two times in a row.  At this point, everything is balanced, fair, and skill-based.

Then you get to the Jewels, the premium currency.  By spending Jewels, you can get better traps for your dungeon, and even spend an instant $2 to end a ritual right away.  There are also special sets you can get, including items to assist you, more Jewels, a subscription service that gets you a small amount of Jewels a day, and more.  Finally, each totem has a limited number of times you can use it for a ritual, so you’re eventually forced to “move out” and go to another dungeon, spending currencies to get traps for that one.  I stopped playing a couple years ago, so I can’t say if there were improvements made to balance out things, but I honestly doubt it, sadly.  If I’m wrong, I will be more than willing to eat crow by updating this article at a later date, but for now, I’m going to steer clear of that game.

I’m bringing this up, because I’m getting the feeling that I’m falling for the same tactics in another game, called Cookie Run: OvenBreak.  This game is a unique runner in the sense that you can have a group of up to 20 cookies and their respective pets run across different prearranged levels.  You can spend in-game currency of Coins to level up each cookie when you get multiple “cookie pieces” to increase their stamina, or the points they earn from collecting Jellies while running.  You can also collect materials to make a Magic Candy for some, giving them an additional ability to take into effect during a run, such as additional items appearing on the field that are worth many more points.

Once again, there are special bundles allowing you to get limited cookies for a small price, subscriptions for daily Premium Currency, and higher-priced bundles allow you to get incredibly rare Legendary cookies as well.  As an experiment, I purchased a bundle to see what would happen, and I saw instant improvement in terms of my high score.

Before I continue, I would like to state that in terms of either Cookie Run, or King of Thieves, it’s not the gameplay I’m complaining about, both games are incredibly fun as is, without the purchasing nonsense.  The issue I have is how they advertise their bundles and specials at a very frequent basis, moreso than I personally prefer.  And at this point, I think I may need to play Devil’s Advocate and note a significant difference between King of Thieves and Cookie Run: Since I’ve started playing Cookie Run, I’ve had a near-constant positive feedback loop for the game: I felt like that, regardless of purchasing anything, I would still improve as long as I kept playing and practicing.  The tone overall was light-hearted, and save for the advertising of the current special after you move past the title screen each time you load the game, it is essentially pressure free.

However, for King of Thieves, since the introduction of the PvP options after you progress through the game’s story mode, I’ve been under the impression constantly that unless I spend money, I won’t get a better score than at least one other player in each ranked group of players I competed with, simply because they spent money on the game.  I don’t get that feeling in Cookie Run, thankfully.  That said, I’ve only played Cookie Run for about ten days now, and regarding the previous purchase, I felt comfortable contributing to a game I think is fun.  I didn’t think King of Thieves was fun anymore because I kept feeling like I was being shaken down for lunch money by a high school bully, so I stopped buying and stopped playing.  Once again, the gameplay for both games is phenomenal, and well worth an in-game purchase or two.  But if the game keeps on encouraging purchases to that kind of extent, I’m worried about the priorities of the developers shifting to sharply toward profit over entertainment.

Fortunately, Cookie Run has a very unique way of addressing this: there are special bundles designed to reward you as you progress: the more you progress in the game, the more you earn, whether it’s playing through the unique levels in Memories Mode, or achieving a certain player level overall.  That sort of thing I can see being a fair reflection of time and money: I’ve spent long enough playing this game to get this far, so by purchasing this bundle, I can get bonus items and premium currency as an additional reward, as well as helping to fund the game I spent so much time playing.

I”m not entirely sure if I really have a point to this editorial, I’ve just had this on my mind recently, so I wanted to get it out there.  I suppose you can consider it a cautionary tale of sorts to be careful what you spend your money on in regards to mobile games: they’re practically the modern equivalent of arcades, except without as much of a guarantee of game quality.  With any hope, I’ll be able to write better reviews of mobile games in the future to better inform you of the choices available.

[verycute]

check out the new mixtape

‘collab’ with the boyos @targuzzler n @mcranter

[mcranter]

McRant #X1 - Monster Strike Review

HEY KIDS!

Do you like games where monsters beat the ever-loving crap out of each other?! Do you like games with lasers, missiles, explosions, meteorites, klaxon alarms, AND EXPLOSIONS?! Do you like the idea of collecting hundreds of different monsters based on historical figures, mythological creatures, gods and goddesses, angels, demons, samurai, elder things, robots, and WEAPONIZED VEHICLES?! Did you spend a disturbingly large amount of time playing the Tin Pin Slammer minigame in The World Ends With You, wondering what it would be like as a turn-based closed-arena action-RPG?

Then Monster Strike sounds like your kinda game, ya dingus.

Monster Strike is a physics-based action RPG where up to four players can cooperatively fight against monsters of all kinds in an  enclosed arena where your monsters can bounce around the field smacking into enemies, and allies alike to your benefit, as a race to see whether your enemies’ HP or yours gets lowered to 0 first.  Throughout your time playing, you’ll earn rewards for completing certain mission objectives, rank up to increase your stamina meter, and eventually get to perform in more and more difficult quests. the overall gameplay is a bit reminiscent of 8-pin billiards or pinball... if the bumpers were supposed to break.  And shoot out lasers and bombs at your monsters.  But your monsters aren’t completely helpless against these attacks.

A lot of the game is pretty standard monster collection fare, becase why mess with what works?  Fuse monsters together to level up the base monster, and collect different monsters to go against different enemies.  Each monster has different sling styles (whether a monster bounces off enemies or they pierce through them to hit weak points for extra damage), different types and elemental attributes that are mostly straightforward for what hurts which element more (fire burns wood, wood drinks water, water douses fire, and light and dark hate each other), and abilities that have a great variety of effects, such as nullifying obstacles, doing a larger amount of damage to certain types of enemies and obstructions, and even curing status problems and healing your HP.  And if you have multiple copies of monsters, you can fuse them together to increase their Luck.  If the first monsters in your team has high enough luck, it can drastically increase the chance of bonus items appearing as rewards for completing quests.

Another ability monsters on your team have are bump combos.  These are the abilities that cause explosions, lasers, enemy-seeking missiles, crashing meteors, and even more rare abilities like a speed- or defense-boost,  a spread-shot shotgun blast, or a damaging laser that connects between the combo-monster and the currently shot monster that does constant damage to anything in the laser... as long as the first monster is moving.  And finally, there’s the Strike Shot.  The Strike Shot is an ability that takes a set amount of turns to charge, but when it finishes, you can activate it by tapping the monster’s profile pic when it’s that monster’s turn.  When you fire an activated monster, the strike shot also activates, doing even MORE different things, like increasing speed and power, revealing enemy weak points, doing more damage when it hits weak points, and even leading all of your other monsters to attack at the same time.

Plus, while most smartphone games have monster-evolution mechanics, the ones in Monster Strike vary a bit more.  Throughout play, you’ll collect items called sharls and stoans.  collecting enough of these will allow you to spend them to evolve monsters into higher ranks if they are able to get stronger.  rarer sharls help to evolve monsters into even more powerful forms, and some can even change forms by using different monsters.  With so much variety in the monster abilities, you may think you won’t see all of these abilities in action, but the game gives you more than enough quests to experience all of them at LEAST once.

The Quests are separated into four types: the Trial Quests, the Event Quests, the Voucher Quests, and the Temple Quests.  Event Quests are the bread-and-butter of the game, where most of the monsters you’ll get are found.  Well, I say “get” but I MEAN “Earn,” as there are often times when completing a quest that you’ll get a copy of the main enemy you defeat.  Voucher Quests are a little less straightforward: once in a while, certain monsters and mission rewards will net you vouchers, good for entering a unique type of quest one time.  Trial Quests are there to get you acclimated to the types of hazards that you will see in the game, and are a good place to practice and net EXP to increase your player rank.  Higher rank means more stamina, more stamina means more quests and eventually taking on harder difficulty quests... and when you rank up to Rank 50, you can take on Temple Quests.

Temple quests are interesting in a whole different way.  Temple Quests being unlocked instantly gives certain monsters a Bade of Honor, which means they can get an additional ability by eating an Ableberry, which you earn from the Temple Quests.  Ableberries can increase your HP, attack power, or speed; make your bump combos do more damage or heal your HP for certain amounts once per turn; and some even do instant amounts of damage to boss monsters each starting round you fight against one.

There is a LOT of strategy that can be applied in the game for preparing to go against a certain monster: should I use a monster who is elementally stronger, or should I use a monster of the same element, but will do more damage because my opponent is a Samurai?  Even if you don’t think you have quite the right monsters for a boss, you can eventually take it down with sheer determination and strategic use of your current monsters’ abilities.  If you don’t want to spend money to get better monsters, that’s completely fine, because one of the best parts is many of the more powerful monsters can be earned through combat.  But be careful: the difficulty of the quests isn’t called Impossible for nothing.  They may not TECHNICALLY be impossible, but if you don’t know what you’re doing, they may as well be impossible.  

But eventually, you may hit a road block: the monsters you have are okay, but not quite enough for those Impossible level quests.  That’s that the hatchers are for.  In Monster Strike, hatchers are the part of the game that lets you get other monsters in exchange for the in-game premium currency of orbs (the regular hatcher), and friend-points (the friend hatcher).  One hundred friend points or five orbs lets you use each version of hatcher once, respectively.  But if you have enough orbs, you can even do a Golden Ten-shot, guaranteeing all ten monsters are four-star or higher monsters.  Different hatchers even increase the chances of getting certain monsters, and some monsters are exclusive to specific orb hatchers.  I suppose you COULD buy the orbs with real money, but you would be surprised how incredibly easy it is to get orbs if you try hard enough:  Complete a set of Trail Quest levels?  Five orbs.  Co-op play with a new person?  Five orbs, twenty if it’s your first.  Share a friend code with someone who also plays so you can both play together and get daily co-op bonuses (which can potentially net you another orb)?  Five orbs.  This game loves to spoil its players.

With over 1300 monsters currently in the US version of the game (including region exclusives like Sir Lucas and Tempest), it’s very likely that you’ll get at least one or two five-star ranked monsters from any of the easy ways to earn orbs, and when starting out, you automatically get a four- or five-star monster from a set of starting monsters.  Plus, as of this article’s publication date, you can get a guarenteed 5-star monster from a single-use hatcher.  And the best part is that it also includes a few of the most desired hatcher-exclusive monsters. But you better hurry before it’s removed on April 11th at 4 PM EST.

Editorial Segment: Overall, I’ve played this game since last September, and I’ve loved every second of it.  But recently, I’ve seen a lot of fans get very frustrated with the game since the admins decided to completely remove online co-op.  While I agree that completely removing online co-op was a bit much, I also understand what the admins are trying to show their players.  This game is made to bring people together, to hang out as a group, take on quests publically, and get even more people playing the game.  If you really like this game, let everyone know about it:  tell your friends, tell your family, let people know on Twitter, start a Monster Strike club at your school or a local hobby store.  If we can show the admins that even without online co-op, we still love this game and want it to continue, they’ll listen.  Who knows, we may even get online co-op back; only time will tell.

[fobwatchedtimelady]

mcranter reblogged your photo:

I need a damn source for this, and I need it NOW....

It's only test footage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_gdaxQTM9I

[mcranterreviews]

Part-Time UFO Review

Before I begin, I want to begin with a brief editorial about my writing style up until this point.  I’ve done my best to write my reviews in a mature, informative style while minimizing personal bias as much as possible.  That said, looking back, I can get the impression that some readers might read this style as condescending or conceited, which isn’t my intention at all, and I apologize.

Now, let’s talk about a single-purchase mobile game made by the developers of Kirby and Earthbound starring an adorable flying saucer working part-time jobs!

Part-Time UFO is about a little UFO from a distant planet who is sent to Earth to investigate Earth’s work culture.  Akin to crane games you see in arcades (alternately known as UFO Catchers in Japan), you control the UFO by moving them around the screen, and lowering their hook to pick up items of varying sizes to move them to their destination.It doesn’t necessarily mean every level will play the same, though.  Sometimes you’ll be making a salad, sometimes you’ll build a house, sometimes you’ll fight aliens on the moon, sometimes you’ll repair museum exhibits, it’s a pretty decent variety.  Plus, when you successfully complete your goals, you’ll receive currency (to purchase costumes that can potentially improve your chances at doing your jobs better,) and medals (gained by achieving specific goals mentions in picture form on the pause menu of the job).

It’s a fairly short game, but if you’re a completionist, it’ll still take at least six hours.  And with the fun I had with this game, $4.23 is definately worth it.  Wish the store mentioned that the price didn’t include sales tax until after the purchase though, but it’s still worth the price anyway.  Please give this game a shot, and with hope, Hal Laboratory’s Hal Egg division will be making more mobile games in the future.

[mcranterreviews]

Digimon Links

As of this article, Digimon Links has been out for well over a year in Japan, but has been out for approximately two days in the US and Australia.  If Canada is included, I am willing to edit a post-script to indicate otherwise, but mroe important that technicalities is the game itself: is Digimon Links a good game?

Digimon Links is an mobile game, currently found on Google Play and soon available on the App Store for iPhone users.  The story is surprisingly engaging: as a user of an app that allows you to communicate with a universe both parallel and directly connected to our world’s internet, known simply as the Digital World.  This the home of the eponymous Digital Monsters in the game title. But as your tour of the Digital world begins, “something happens” that results in the Digital World becoming almost completely deleted.

I say “almost” because your guide in the introduction of the game, Hina, uses your mobile device as a quarantine space to prevent the deletion of the Digital World entirely.  Now, it’s up to you as the player to raise Digimon to collect data clusters to rebuild the Digital World.

Gameplay-wise, there are a few differing variations: exploring the different servers of the real world in the hopes of gathering more clusters to rebuild the Digital World; rebuilding the small patch of the Digital World by placing Facilities on an island in the style of resource-management town-building simulators; raising and Digivolving your Digimon; and a PvP Coliseum that as of this writing has yet to open.  As you progress through Story Quests while Exploring, you will unlock more Facilities and gather more Clusters that you use as the equivalent of in-game currency to upgrade different Facilities to improve what they do.  For example, upgrading your Restaurant increases your maximum stamina, which is expended each time you complete a Quest.

The small island you reside over happens to grow meat that allows you to grant small amounts of instant EXP to any Digimon you choose, per piece of meat.  Meanwhile, there is a Lab that allows you to train In-Training Digimon by leaving them in the Garden section of the Lab until they are ready to Digivolve naturally.  The Lab also houses the ability to perform a Version Upgrade of Digimon, or to Research Two Mega-level Digimon in an attempt to create a new DIgiEgg.  If the Base Mega Didigmon has Maxed out its Friendship, the Digiegg will be +1, improving the overall potential of the hatched Digimon.

Digivolution is the game’s way of improving the abilities of a Digimon, allowing a low-tier Rookie Digimon to become a Champion-level Digimon, then an Ultimate, and finally Mega.  Literally any Digimon can become a Mega-level Digimon if you’re patient enough.  But for those that want a Digimon with a higher level instantly, there is the Rare Capture area.  At the cost of 20 Digistones, the Premium Currency, you are guaranteed a Rookie Digimon at minimum, or a Mega-Level Digimon at most.  There may be variances based on events occurring at the time; for example, during the first month of the game’s release, there was a special Release Anniversary Megafest Capture, guaranteeing a Mega if you perform a 10-Digimon Capture.  There is also the Link Capture, where you spend Link Points to get In-Training Digimon.

But just because a Digimon is a low-tier Digimon doesn’t meant necessarily that it’s not going to be useful.  Sometimes, Digimon can also have Leader skills, offering passive buffs to your party when put in the leader slot of the team, or a powerful Legacy Skill, an attack that can be transferred to another Digimon with the use of the Dojo, another available facility, at the cost of the Digimon with the ability you want to transfer.  The Dojo also has the ability to add additional elemental resistances to a Digimon you have, by using smaller amounts of Digivolution Fuel and a copy of the same type of Digimon.  Next is the Chip Factory, where your Chips will be held.  By adding Chips to your Digimon, you can augment their abilities even further and improve your chances in the Quests.  The option to purchase Chips will presumably be available in the future, but as of this article’s completion date, they are not yet available.

In the Quests, you take a team of three Digimon into a server to do battle against multiple waves of enemy Digimon. The battles themselves run in a pretty straight-forward turn-based battle system: the top left circle to the upper right of each status box, next to each Digimon’s name, indicates how many attacks until that specific Digimon’s turn.  The bar beneath the Digimon’s name is their Health Points, and works the same as HP in conceivably almost any other RPG: it hits zero, that Digimon is defeated.  Below the HP is the AP bar, for Action Points, are they are used to perform A Signature and Legacy Skill of your choice.  Each time a new round begins, every Digimon gets one AP.  Each time a single Digimon’s attack lands with a Critical Hit, they gain an extra AP.  The quest continues until the enemy Digimon are all defeated.    There is also the Auto-battle button near the upper-right of the screen, which can be useful to getting lower-level digimon to level up via quests in you’re low.   But much like a lot of focus-intensive RPGs, if you just set it and forget it, eventually you will lose handily because you weren’t paying attention.  Still, if you have an idea of what all the Digimon in a level are weak to Resistance-wise, you can give it a shot anyway.

Afterward, your team of Digimon gain experience points, Clusters, and Digivolution Fuel.  They also let your Digimon attain Friendship Points.  After set intervals can improve your Digimon’s stats, encouraging you to battle with those Digimon frequently, even after maxing out their level.  There are also quests for gathering elemental Digivolution Fuel necessary for Digivolving higher-level Digimon.  Eventually, you will gain access to Advent Quests, special quests that grant you access to Mega-Specific Digivolution Fuel.

There are also the Co-Op Quests as well, allowing you to team up with other players and their partner Digimon.  This nets you Link Points as well, but it comes with its own unique challenges: instead of each Digimon having their set pool of AP, you share one as a team, and gain 3 AP at the start of each round.  To assist communication, you have a set of stickers that can get a simple message across in terms of discussing strategy.Now comes the big question: How does the game balance the Premium Currency of Digi-Stones?  How they are balanced can be seen by the purchase screen: 6 digistones are worth 99 cents, and the other amounts of Digi-Stones being sold remain consistent with that selling value.  3.99 gets you 24 Digi-Stones, 9.99 gets you 60, and so on.  It’s honestly slightly refreshing not to see a large spiky sticker saying that the best possible value is to spend a ridiculous amount of money on the most possible Digi-Stones.  Though to be technical, you get 490 instead of the expected 480; the improvement is absolutely minimal.As for obtaining the Digi-Stones in other ways, you gain 2 for every level you clear in Exploring, and you gain more by completing Missions, such as performing a certain number of Digivolutions, completing an Area during Exploration, and any other things.  However, many of the Missions grant you Clusters and Link Points instead.  You can also gain Digi-Stones based on the currently-running events in the game as well; by gaining 10 by logging in for a day, and an additional 10 for the event’s occurrence, for example.When you compare it out with the minimum 20 required to obtain at least 1 Rookie-level Digimon, it feels fairly balanced... dangerously so, to be honest.  There is a very distinct chance that changes in purchasing habits overall may have an effect of the value of Digistones overall.  If we’re being honest, if the amount required to get a new Digimon reduced by a fourth, it would feel a bit more sensible compared to most other games.  However, the nature of this game lends itself to dedication moreso than simply just paying-to-win.Overall, I feel my time so far has been enjoyable, and I hope that eventual upgrades to Digimon LInks will provide me with more Digimon, more Quests, and more fun.Digimon Links is currently available on the Google Play Store, with an App Store release pending.

[mcranter]

Hey look, it’s McRant: The Vlog #1! Boy howdy, can’t wait to get hate mail for having an opinion!

[mcranter]

Earthbound Rap/Poem/Whatever

My name is Ness | I am the best At being telekinetic To manifest | What I like best Is my assaulting aesthetic The last thing you’ll ever see Is flashing red, yellow and blue With PSI Rockin’ | Clean your clock ‘n Rave on your grave, too.

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Hello, Paula is my name It’s a pleasure to meet you Treat my friend in bad refrain I’ll cause pain to defeat you Now, how would you like to go? Burned to cinders? Flash frozen? Elocution ‘lectricution From one of the four chosen?

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Hello my name is Jeff Andonuts Genius scientist’s son, no ifs, ands, or buts Though you think my lack of psychic skill | is, a crime I guarantee that my pyrotechnics will | Be, sublime

For while all my friends in hotel rooms rest My work is never done, for I always invest That time in making inventions that are the best No matter how hard anyone else protests

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I am Poo (hate that name, too) And I’m the prince of Dalaam Since I was young, my will was strong Yet I was taught to be calm

The ancient Bhuddist ways help to hone my mind To show restraint until needed to be strong instead of kind. With these skills I’ll defend my friends from the vicious and crass By raining down almighty heavens to kick that vile villain’s ass.

[mcranter]

McRant #I forgot: Squirrel Girl Movie Outline By Me

Because I wanted to write a Squirrel Girl movie but an outline is as far as it'll go, and also I don't read comics (like that stopped Hollywood, amirite?) Sorry for no "keep reading", the iPad app isn't doing it for me. Wanna skip it, and on a PC? Hit the letter J. It works, srsly. Intro and credits - SG is doing slice of life stuff during the credits, save the whole "friendly hello to every squirrel she sees (and that's LOT of them)" thing. Also, she stops a purse snatcher, is thanked a lot and is all, "no big, OH CRAP, I'm late for work*!" And runs and parkours the heck everywhere because squirrel agility* and fade to Act I. Act I - Tony Stark is hacking the SHIELD information database, because it's Tony Stark fun to him, and he finds a specific profile. He prints it out, ignores everyone else and everything else, barges into Nick Fury's office, and asks why they didn't consider someone who DEFEATED THANOS WITH HER BARE HANDS a potential candidate of the Avengers Initiative, surprise it's SG. Nick Fury explains that her age was something of a heavy factor(provided she's below the age of 21*) and that even if it wasn't they are trying to make sure it wasn't a fluke. Cut to SG doing work stuff* (Obligatory Stan Lee cameo in line to buy stuff right in front of atopfourthwall because SCREW YOU ITS MY MOVIE OUTLINE AND HE IS A COOL GUY) when Iron Man pops up right at her workplace and is all, hey manager, if I buy three of everything and donate it to the nearest charity can I borrow her for a second, and SG is all, hot dang it's Iron Man. Cut to them flying around and asking about Thanos, and she's all, "You remember the time Thanos tried to kill everyone to get into Death's skirt but she said no because she's dating Deadpool? Pfft, dudes a tool, heck, even Galactus thinks so, he literally said that when I hung out with him." And Tony is all, whoa, Galactus didn't just try to murder you when he met you, holy crap. They get to the Tower and she meets the other Avengers who hang out with her a while. Tony finally says that he's considering having her as an avenger, and she's all, HOT DAMN! And she hangs out with the other avengers for a while. She practices wi her reflexes catching arrows that Hawkeye fires at her*, Black Widow gives her some CQC tips, Bruce Banner tries to figure out how her powers work and doesn't know*, Thor thinks she's Ratatoskr and treats her with respect as the messenger of the gods, and Tony introduces her to Jarvis. Act II - Wacky comic canon hijinks ensue, Tony loses his shit because she stole an iron man suit and took it for a joy ride to the moon or something, and he kicks her out because every comic book movie needs an Oscar fishing moment, and SG leaves all sad and forlorn, boo boo, can I get an oscar now, etc. Then a half-dozen assassins and Thanos appear out of nowhere, and each one captures an Avenger somehow, but they can't get Mjornir because they aren't worthy (note that). Then they dick off to a hide out because comic book movie. Act III - SG finds out they got captured when she goes back to the tower to get something she forgot, and grabs and picks up Mjolnir like its no big deal. Thor senses it, and calls to Mjornir which flies over to his location, with SG clinging onto it and she's all, WAUGHSKGHSKJVFSKJNVUKD. She crashes into the containment pods where everyone is contained, Thor is all, "Ratatoskr, good tidings! Might you assist in our escape?" And she's all, SURE, OKAY. Tony is all, "wait what aren't you ticked at me for changing my mind?" And she's all, "pff, I'm over that" SG takes out the guard with stuff the Avengers taught her, and they get released, suit up, etc. They all go to Thanos main lair thing and he's all, "Pitiful beings, you think mere escape will save you? None of you can defeat me!" And they're all, "no, we can't, but we know someone who already did," and SG just pops the heck up behind them all, "Hiiiii, Thanny! Ready for round town?" And Thanos is all, "oh crap, that one again." Fight scene, SG whoops Thanos practically the exact same way she did before, last minute base escape before it explodes because comic book movie, Tony offers her a place in the Avengers, she's all, "naaaah, it's cool, mind dropping me off at home?" End Credits Post End Credits scene: Tony asks if anyone would mind if Deadpool was hired on, everyone says no at the same time, Deadpool pops up in front of the camera and goes, "Wah-wah-wah-waaaaaaaah! Hey, Hollywood, when is my movie gettin a sequel, ehh?!" (*Embellished story detail that most likely isn't comic-book accurate and may or may not be corrected because it's a movie, not a comic book, and each medium works differently in terms of entertainment.)

[mcranter]

AND NOW: I SUMMARIZE EVERY FANFICTION WRITTEN BY TWELVE-YEAR-OLDS

Girl Fanfics: Okay, so, these are the characters, and this is what they’re wearing right now and who they’re dating, and also which ones are magical girls like in that one cartoon... Also, guys are there, but they have cooties.

Guy Fanfics: AIGHT, BITCHES, these are the characters, and this is how they got their scars and ridiculously stupid superpowers, and also which ones are aliens like in that one video game... Also, girls are there, but they have cooties.

Seriously, I wrote fanfics like the Guy Fanfics thing all the time... and the girl fanfics.  Shut your damn mouth.

[mcranter]

So, I found this while working... Uhh scarvenrot, am I gonna be a magical boy, now?

[mcranter]

Writing Practice Series A pt. 1

Felt like writing out an idea I've had for a while, so here ya go.

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I'm going to be honest here.  I don't really go to places like this, like 4chan or whatever.  I've heard horror stories about Anonymous and all that, but I've also heard that you guys are absolutely notorious at finding out about things that nobody will ever find if they conventionally search online.  I better explain as much as I know so far.

This is about my daughter.  And if you wants pics, then I'm sorry, but no.  I've also heard that 4chan is full of pedophiles, and I'd rather be safe than sorry.  My girl has been acting weird lately.  And not just in the "baby girl's first period" kind of way, though that DOES kind of relate to it.  The day after she had her first, her hair turned green.  Not like she dyed it and keeps on dying it, either, it's a natural neon green, .  One time while sweeping the bathroom floor I found one of her hairs, all green, including the root.  I don't think there's a dye that goes that deep, but if there is, I'd really like to know because I'm assuming it's expensive as hell, and if my missing money isn't being spent on dye, then I have another idea what she's spending it on.

She's been going to a hobby shop in town more and more recently, with a small briefcase full of what look like playing cards for some kind of card game.  She says that it's for tournaments, and that she doesn't want me there because I'd distract her, but I'm not entirely convinced.  Here's the thing; I've played a buttload of games myself: Cardfight Vanguard, the Pokemon TCG, hell I've placed in local tourneys for Magic The Gathering a couple times when I was her age.  But this game is weird as hell: the back of the card is some kind of weird-ass magic circle with three in a triangular pattern in the center with lines pointing out to greek symbols for alpha, beta, and theta.  The name is Psi-Ken, but I can't find anything on it anywhere.  I'd have looked up info on the game based on the card name, but the other side is blank.

I'm considering tailing her one week to see what she's really doing.  There's been a huge jump in child abductions, and I don't want her added to the list.  With the hair thing, the card game thing, and all this going on, I do NOT want her teenage antics to lead to an added name to a list of missing kids.  If any of you have any kind of info on this Psi-Ken game or hair dyes that can go as deep as the root to this degree, I'd appreciate your feedback.

[mcranter]

This post is dedicated to lychgate because my silly reading of the Father-San story arc in Dorito Faced Bad Touch Sempai San and Shota Boy hit over 1.1K watches and frighteningly close to 100 likes.

And I am still the best damn voice actor ever.

PS I took very slight liberties because audio stuff.

PSS: You might want to wear headphones because of implied gross noises.

PSSS: I was just wiggling my cheek against my face, you SICKOS.

[mcranter]

Gamers are either the “awesome” hardcore, or the “filthy” casual, and I see why. Hardcore gamers can perform 32+ hit fighting game combos, 12+ chained puzzle combos, always collect every possible item and summoned monster in RPGs, and 4+ multi kill head shots with one bullet. Meanwhile, casuals play games to… have fun. HOW DARE THEY?! Video games weren’t invented to have fun OH WAIT.

Muthafuckin ME, telling it like it is

[mcranter]

I am in love with Dorito-Faced Bad Touch Sempai San and Shota Boy, so I read this for lychgate.

I AM THE BEST DAMN VOICE ACTOR EVER~

[mcranter]

Fandom Zen #12 - Dongle Rampage

Okay, so I'm a crazy huge fan of Dangan Ronpa right now, but I didn't wt to spam my feed with a crapload of DR stuff so I could prevent spoilers and stuff.  But before I get into more detail, here's a summary of the premise:

Dangan Ronpa is a game that was originally released for the PSP that runs like a cross between Phoenix Wright and a shooting gallery.  The story is about Makoto Naegi, the protagonist that is chosen by lottery to attend Hope's Peak Academy, a prestigious academy where the elitehe elite high school students attend.  The school doesn't accept applications, and only scouts out the best of the best in all fields.  On a side note regarding the fandom, some folks call the students that are scouted Super Duper High School (SDHS) students, others call them Super High School Level (SHSL), but for the case of simplicity, I'mma just call them Ultimate High School (UHS) because not only does nobody else use that term, anyone that has beaten the first game might get the joke(?) I'm making with the abbreviation.

So, Naegi goes into the school, but he passes out, finding himself locked in with the windows bolted shut and covered with iron plating.  He finds out later that there are fourteen other students there, all specialists in their field.  There's a

UHS Writer

UHS Heir

UHS Swimmer

UHS Baseballer

UHS Bancho

UHS Fighter

UHS Programme

UHS Idol

UHS Nerd

UHS Model

UHS High-Roller

UHS Hall Monitor

UHS Psychic

UHS ???

Along with you, as the UHS Luck-Bringer (once again, other translations use other terms, so I'm using my own to differentiate), you explore what little you can until you are told to go to the gym, where you meet... Monokuma.  A half-black, half-white, talking and moving teddy bear.  turns out he's the headmaster at the school and you're all going to stay there for the rest of your lives... but if you want to leave, you must kill one of your fellow students... and get away with it.

As you might expect, it's very... Battle Royale-ish.  No, not Hunger Games, Battle Royale came first, bite me.  Someone gets killed, you investigate the scene, and you get Evidence Bullets, a game abstraction you use in the trial/shooting gallery segment of the game.  Not only do you need to present evidence to show contradictions, but you need to time it just right, as the statement is occurring during a round-table discussion.  It's both intense and exciting despite the amount of text.

Now, back to the point of this post: I want to post stuff about the game, but the fanbase is getting really good at recreating the artistic style, so it's hard to tell which is a screenshot of a game and which isn't... d which is canon and which isn't.  There's even a sequel to the game, and a compilation of both games is being remade for the Vita to be released in October, over in Japan.

On a side note, NIS America is releasing the first game of that Vita compilation next year, so yaaay for watching children murder each other and stuff next spring.