twoevansonecouch - Tumblr blog

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anyway i love that thor ragnarok parades around as this cute fun happy go lucky inoffensive film even though at its core it’s just a big resounding FUCK YOU against imperialism and colonialism. thor stands by and watches his ancestral home be completely destroyed because he figures out that asgard was built on the backs of invaded and enslaved people. the second his father’s crimes are exposed he does the right fucking thing and lets it all burn instead of excusing his own ignorance. that scene of the tapestry coming down is so goddamned fucking iconic i could cry oh man  

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Sperm whale mimics a spinning diver.

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The third Spider-Man MCU movie will be called Spider-Man: Home Alone and it’s about every single person in New York going on a vacation and they left Spider-Man behind and he has to stop two supervillains from robbing the city by crafting wacky household traps all around the city.

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I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING

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we’re really that generation, aren’t we?

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‘are you okay’ by normal people standards? no. by my standards? do you see me crying? no? then yea im good

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i can’t believe all it took to convince tony stark to literally invent time travel and save the fucking universe was looking at 1 (one) picture of peter parker

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Mods are asleep post forbidden tits

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James Norrington did nothing wrong. His only crime was being a Jane Austen hero in a Disney movie based on a theme park ride.

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STOP HAVING WHITE VOICE ACTORS PLAYING NON-WHITE ROLES

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😂 😂 😂

Can I mark this as one of the best comments of 2018? 

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This is a big, giant list of Youtube tutorials that will teach you all the basic life skills you need to know in order to be a functional adult. There are a lot of important skills that aren’t included in this list, but this should be enough of a basic guide to get you started and prevent you from making a total mess of yourself. Happy adulting! Household Skills:

How to unclog a toilet without a plunger

How to fix a blown fuse

How to fix a leaky faucet 

How to clean soap scum from your tub and shower

How to escape from a house fire

How to make a budget and stick to it

How to sharpen a knife

How to clean a self-cleaning oven

How to clean red wine stains from carpet

How to clean blood stains from fabric

How to clean grease stains from fabric

How to do a load of laundry

How to iron your clothes

How to test your smoke detectors

Cooking Skills:

How to tell if produce is ripe

How to know if food is expired 

How to properly sanitize a kitchen

How to cook an egg

How to make rice

How to make pasta

How to put out a kitchen grease fire safely

How to use a gas stove

How to use a convection oven

How to cook meat safely

How to use a stand mixer

How to use kitchen knives properly

How to make mashed potatoes

How to make grilled cheese sandwiches 

Health Skills:

How to stop bleeding

How to treat a burn 

How to do CPR (on an adult)

How to do CPR (on a child)

How to do CPR (on a baby)

How to help someone who is choking

How to save yourself if you are choking alone

How to read a nutrition label

How to treat frostbite

How to recognize when someone is having a stroke

How to maintain a healthy sleep schedule

Mental Health Skills:

How to calm down during a panic attack

How to help someone who is suicidal 

How to meditate 

How to stop self-harming

How to recognize problem drinking

How to choose a therapist

How to deal with disappointment

How to cope with grief

How to raise your self-esteem

Relationship and Social Skills:

How to apologize

How to cope with a breakup 

How to accept criticism 

How to deal with bullying 

How to argue in a healthy way

How to ask someone out

How to break up with someone

How to recognize an abusive relationship

How to rekindle a damaged friendship

How to speak in public

Job Hunting Skills:

How to tie a tie

How to write a resume

How to write a cover letter

How to dress for a job interview (for women/femmes)

How to dress for a job interview (for men/masculines)

How to properly shake hands

How to nail a job interview

Other Skills:

How to sew on a button 

How to hammer a nail

How to change your oil

How to put gas in your car

How to jump-start a car

How to pick a good password

How to back up your files

How to write a cheque

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Infinity War BETTER have a scene where Tony actually hugs Peter so people can make a gif from Spider-Man homecoming when Peter thought Tony was hugging him to the scene in Infinty War that WILL EXIST and the caption will say “started from the bottom now we’re here.”

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December 12th, 2018. Roman’s first “Only Us.” His chemistry with Mallory is definitely better than her chemistry with Taylor, but it still doesn’t come close to what she has with Michael Lee Brown. 

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Evan: first impressions are very important

Connor: but you married me anyways