#mcprime universe

[elindae-writes]

she's still second-in-command

August 11th is my Dad's birthday... He owns a farm with chickens...I'm going ove there and naming one of the chicks Cheep. IN THE NAME OF CHEEP DAY

cheep is REAL???

cheep is pleased (achlyswave made the art)

[anomalocrisis]

Megan and his gal Commander Cheep 🤘

━ For the MCU (McPrime Cinematic Universe) by @elindae-writes

[elindae-writes]

megatron tries to delete his youtube comment

"i have made a horrendous mistake."

Starscream squinted at Megatron's screen. "Oh, another one?"

"i went online and engaged myself in a spirited war of words when suddenly my talons slipped and i made a--what is it called?--a 'typo.' i require immediate assistance."

Megatron had a YouTube video up on his computer. It was the footage of Optimus fighting off Megatron at McDonald's.

Starscream looked down to see the top comment.

Carol: Optimus is such a nice young man! 😊

Starscream scrolled down to see Megatron's response.

Megan Ron: he is a nice young TRAITOR. show more respect to lard megatron.

Megatron tapped the screen hard enough to make it crack. "that is my error. 'lard' megatron. i am not a warlard, i am a warlord! assist me."

Starscream nodded. "I shall see to this immediately, my lard." He went into his room and typed on his computer.

A new comment appeared. Megatron gasped and read it.

Stella: lard megatron is such a nice young man! 😊

[elindae-writes]

megatron gets into candle-making

Knock Out cleared his throat. "My Lord, it's quite hot in here."

"probably because of the several hundred candles i have burning." Megatron gently dripped droplets of fragrant oil down into the candle mold. "the electric lights of the nemesis are too harsh. we should light the halls with a soft flammable glow."

Knock Out stood on the one spot of floor that didn't have candles all over it. "Whatever happened to conquering and ruling Earth?"

"this is my side-hustle. every good warlord has one. if you can't handle the heat then get out of the nemesis."

"So this is the Facebook business opportunity you've been ranting and raving about for weeks?"

Megatron nodded proudly. "indeed. see, my job is to recruit investors who in turn recruit even more investors--"

"My Lord, it would appear that you have fallen for a pyramid scheme."

Megatron rolled his optics. "it's not pyramid-shaped, it's triangle-shaped. don't you know basic shapes?"

"I'm sort of bent out of shape I suppose." Knock Out picked up a pink candle. "...Okay." The candle began to shake and fizzle in his servo. "Um?"

Megatron turned on his swivel chair and knocked twenty candles over as he sighed at Knock Out's disgusting lack of candle knowledge. "it's not made of wax. it's dark energon."

"It's dark energon?!"

A deep voice boomed out from the candle. " Į̵̀ ̶̩̒W̴̉͜Ì̸̬L̶̦̐L̵̖̎ ̸̚ͅR̸̨͌U̶͖͠L̴̮͊E̵͈̎ ̶̡́Ȩ̴́A̴͇͑R̸̞̒T̷̨̊H̷͎͆"

Knock Out stared at it. "...Is that Unicron?"

"i think his spirit haunts the vanilla ones."

Knock Out shakily put the demonic candle down and picked up a red and blue one. "What's this one?" He turned it around and saw that Megatron had used his talon to carve the candle's name into its side.

Betrayal Scented

Knock Out sniffed it and grimaced. "What scent even is this?"

"eighteen-wheeler"

🕯���

[elindae-writes]

soundwave replaces himself with a cardboard cut-out

[elindae-writes]

Fun adventures with the decepticons for the made-up fic title? When you read the phrase, read it like the title of a children’s cartoon, overly enthusiastic and such with jingles at the end of it

✨fun adventures with the decepticons ✨

"I think he's stuck," Starscream whispered to Optimus.

A single large gray talon stuck out of the ballpit. The colorful plastic balls shifted a bit. "i intended for this to happen," Megatron's muffled voice said from underneath.

Optimus sighed. "It was your goal to wade into the ballpit and then be unable to climb out?"

The balls shifted again. "i can leave the ballpit anytime i wish to."

"It has been three days."

"three days of fun. i am having a ball."

Starscream walked over and sat on the ballpit. It sunk down slightly. "So you don't mind me sitting on it?"

"not in the slightest," Megatron huffed from underneath. "i am both lord of the pit and of the ballpit."

Starscream shrugged and turned to Optimus. "Will you do anything?"

"Earth is safer when Megatron is contained." There was a small pink ball near Optimus's pede. He kicked it and they watched it bounce into the pit.

The ballpit shimmied in anger. "you dare bury your lord in the ballpit?!"

[elindae-writes]

Megatron would probs end up causing some big controversy during one of his rants or he gets cancelled on twitter for attacking a city or sumn and he has to make a youtuber apology video

He would try to get cancelled. This guy has been getting cancelled his entire life. Megatron would cackle in glee upon seeing his name trending.

A very stressed Soundwave would then tell Megatron to try and "make amends with his new subjects." Megatron would agree and make the worst apology video in existence.

Megatron is sitting cross-legged on the floor on a fluffy carpet in the room of a suburban house. No, the Nemesis does not have any carpet anywhere in it (except the Home Depot carpet samples Laserbeak likes to play with). Yes, Megatron seized control of someone's home in order to film an apology video in some teen girl's bedroom. He felt that filming it somewhere with fairy lights, white carpet, and mandala tapestries would make it "more authentic." It just makes it less convincing.

The authorities show up outside this captured suburban house. Oh, and the Autobots. I almost forgot about them. The red and blue flashes of cop lights are seen flashing in the room.

Megatron sniffles. "knock out please shut the curtains, we need the lighting to be just right for this video."

curtain clattering noises

Then, seconds later:

"KNOCK OUT STOP POSING IN THE WINDOW"

The camerawork is awful. We at first just get a look at Megatron's crossed knees. He then grabs the camera with both talons and tilts it up as the focus rapidly goes in and out. He's genuinely awful with cameras so it requires no effort to produce camerawork this poor. It's one of those early 2000s cameras your mom would film you opening Christmas presents with. Soundwave is struggling to resist the urge to take control of the camera and is doing deep breathing exercises.

There are splashing noises outside. Laserbeak is playing in the pool.

Megatron then zooms in too much and gives everybody a far too close look at his forehead. Since he's made of metal his forehead is shiny and you can see Soundwave and Starscream behind the camera in the reflection. Soundwave has his faceplate held in his servos. Starscream is poking the color-changing fairy lights. He... kind of likes them.

"i am sorry i attacked the eastern seaboard," Megatron says with a wheeze before then breaking out into a coughing fit. "and the western one," Megatron adds. "also the southern one."

Starscream's voice is heard from the background. "What 'southern seaboard'?!"

"i attacked some country's south coast. not sure which one. but i am sorry for that one too."

Optimus's voice is heard booming outside. "MEGATRON. STOP THIS TYRANNY AND LET THE HUMANS AND THEIR HOUSE GO."

"my haters are outside."

Megatron begins crying fake tears. He can't produce them naturally because he's a severely dehydrated son of a bitch. Breakdown is offscreen spritzing him with a spray bottle in the hopes it will produce a convincing fake tear effect.

Megatron then grabs the camera with both talons, shoots up to his pedes, and then angrily point at the camera as he does a 180:

"FALSE. I regret nothing. It's not my fault you charlatans can't build cities that can't handle me taking a leisurely stroll through them!"

Megatron accidentally destroyed a Wal-Mart when he got high on dark energon and walked through it. This is somehow Wal-Mart's fault.

Optimus rips the wall down, barges in, and the next ten minutes of the video is them fighting each other. Soundwave grabs the camera and the camerawork is actually really good!

Starscream flies off with bundles of fairy lights attached to his wings. They're still changing colors.

[elindae-writes]

this is how knock out gets megatron to take his medicine

my cat hates taking his pills. the only way we can get him to eat them is to turn it into an elaborate pantomime - we take the packet out of the cupboard slowly and hold it up, saying “oh!! what’s this? what’s this? a TREAT? a TREAT for louis????” while making surprised faces. we offer him a pill… then, before he has a chance to sniff it, we wag our fingers at him and replace it in the packet so it becomes a Tantalising Forbidden Mystery. we continue doing this until he’s so confused and excited that he will eat the pill as fast as possible, just so he can find out what it is before we can take it away from him again. as soon as he’s eaten it he looks utterly disappointed and betrayed, like a child who just ate a delicious sweet only to find it was a chocolate-coated brussels sprout. it never gets old

[elindae-writes]

soundwave puts a blanket on megatron's head in order to get him to go to sleep

[elindae-writes]

megatron educates the livestream

Megatron leans back in his chair and nods smugly as he stares into the camera. "you little humans need us cybertronians to rule over you. your fleshie forms are so... limited. us cybertronians are capable of transforming!"

The chat scrolls by. One comment in particular intrigues him and he leans in.

"like the animorphs?"

"...yes. starscream even turns into a rat."

[elindae-writes]

The drones walk about as usual aboard the Nemesis. The intercom system crackles to life and Lord Megatron's voice is heard ship-wide.

"CHEEP, TAKE THE WHEEL"

All of the drones look up.

The Nemesis then violently lurches to the side.

[elindae-writes]

megatron dines at the rainforest cafe

"they have an artificial thunderstorm that plays every twenty minutes. we should have this on the nemesis. soundwave, are you listening? soundwave. soundwave--?"

[elindae-writes]

My favourite thing about your Optimus is that when Megatron calls he FUCKING PICKS UP

Ratchet sighs. "Optimus. We need to have an intervention."

Optimus looks over his shoulder. "Is something amiss, old friend?"

"Yes!"

"I will talk to you about it--just let me finish listening to Megatron's rant."

The sound of Megatron's scratchy voice blares out from the rotary phone Optimus is holding up to his audial.

"so there i was just trying to buy myself some patio furniture for the bridge of the nemesis! but the bitchy woman hosting the garage sale kept insisting that the lawn chair was 'too small' and 'could not support a ten-ton robot'--"

"Mhmmm," Optimus hums.

"--yes, yes, exactly, and so i said to her, 'does your lord not deserve some used half-off patio furniture?'--"

Ratchet reaches over and hangs up the phone.

Optimus grimaces. "I needed to hear that--"

"You don't need to hear any of that! Why do you always pick up?"

Optimus frowns. "I must keep tabs on our foe."

"By listening to him bitch about patio furniture?"

"He might attack somebody with a lawn chair."

"I'm going to attack you with a lawn chair if you keep picking up the phone."

brrrring brrring

Optimus glances at it. Ratchet takes a deep breath. "Optimus. Do not pick it up."

Optimus's servo is visibly trembling.

Ratchet's blood pressure skyrockets.

"Do not."

"Ratchet..."

brrring brrring

"But Ratchet--"

"Do. Not."

brrring brrring?

Smokescreen darts between them and picks it up. Megatron's voice resumes.

"--so then i went to this other garage sale where the patio furniture was three-quarters off--"

[elindae-writes]

megatron the horse girl

you read the title correctly

I think Megatron would be a good horse girl. I mean, horse warlord. You know what I mean.

He would play one of those virtual MMORPGs meant for middle-school girls.

Soundwave glides into his lord's bedroom. A bright pink glow shines from Megatron's desktop.

"soundwave," Megatron rasps. Perhaps he has finally seen reason, ended this pathetic stream, and has now returned to being the warlord Soundwave wanted to follow in the first place.

He comes up behind Megatron's computer and--wait. What is that on the screen?

"soundwave. what do i name her"

There is a vivid pink virtual horse upon the screen. It's eating grass.

Soft music is playing from the game.

"MY LORD?"

"well?" Megatron scoffs. "my new horse needs a name. star... star... moon. lord. is warlord a name option? why is warlord not a name option in this fourteen year-old girl's cartoon game? scrap."

Megatron clip clops around in a lush virtual green field. Soundwave squints at Megatron's username.

"MEGAN KINGTHRONE?"

"that is i."

Other users instantly swarm around Megatron's character. A user named "Stella Stardawn" trots up to Megatron. She's on the same horse Megatron is.

"copycat," Megatron hisses.

"want to role-play?" Stella asks.

Megatron gasps. "i must swiftly establish myself as the leader of the herd."

A high-pitched scream pierces the air.

Megatron holds down the right mouse button and shifts the in-game camera. He then looks around in reality. "did my horse scream? that was not in-game. who screamed. soundwave, who screamed?"

Soundwave grits his dentae behind his mask. He can't afford to let another scream loose.

"well. anyway." Megatron swivels back around in his office chair and rubs his servos together as he rapidly types. "you shall be brought low and utterly vanquished upon this cartoon ranch"

"wanna race?" Stella types.

Soundwave knows a trap when he hears it. Years of mastering the art of deception in warfare have prepared Soundwave for this moment.

He slaps Megatron's wrist.

"NO"

"soundwave"

"N O"

"goddamnit soundwave get your own horse"

He rolls his office chair over to block Soundwave from the gamer keyboard setup. Megatron then rubs his servos together again like a fruit fly and settles into his chair. A bright green star-shaped timer counts down as "Megan" and Stella line up side by side. Stella's virtual low-res and low poly face smugly stares through the screen.

A tinny trumpet toot noise blasts from the speakers as the 16 frames-per-second horsegirl race begins.

"your horse sucks!!" Megatron types in. He's riding the same kind of horse Stella is.

Stella begins to effortlessly jump over the 3D hurdles.

Megatron's character crashes into a 2D bush.

"no. NO. stel is pulling ahead! jesus fucking christ!" Megatron rapidly smacks and slaps the clonky keys as much as his shaking sweat-covered talons possibly can. "get off your hindquarters, moonbeam!"

Soundwave gently places both his servos together and holds them up to his faceplate. He looks as if he's praying. Maybe he is.

"WHO. WHO IS MOONBEAM?"

"MY HORSE, soundwave, my HORSE" Megatron begins coughing and hacking uncontrollably. "no!" Megatron drags both of his intensely shaking servos down either side of his helm. "i am the lord of both earth and star stable!"

Stella finishes the race and then turns around to face "Megan."

"MEGAN KINGTHRONE HAS FALLEN AND I STELLA STARDAWN NOW LEAD THE STARSHINE RANCH HORSE HERD"

The other users come in again and begin to neigh and clip clop around Megatron's character. Megan Kingthrone is now glitching as she clips in and out of a virtual bush.

"soundwave they're surrounding me. soundwave. soundwave they're HARASSING me. how dare they encircle their lord with their ponies."

Megatron slams his fist down onto his desk and several Beanie Babies topple over. "soundwave! upright the beanies!"

Soundwave silently steps forward and grabs a plush penguin. He stares into its large bead eyes. It lets out a squeak as Soundwave grips it.

"soundwave. my loyal third in command. upright. the beanie."

Moonbeam begins grazing.

Soundave, slowly, very slowly, as if placing down a bomb, gently places the beanie upright.

"stella stardawn," Megatron rasps. "my new archnemesis! ah. besides Optimus Prime, that is. track down her IP."

Soundwave turns around, walks out into the hall, and then kicks Starscream's door open.

Starscream is crouched down over a laptop and is rapidly clacking on the tiny keyboard.

Soundwave's voice thunders.

"S T E L L A"

Stella screams.

🐴✨

[elindae-writes]

megatron posted this

[elindae-writes]

💖there's no place like home💖

This is part 2 of Megatron calling into QVC

The faint sounds of the TV echo through the Nemesis. It's playing QVC. Starscream shudders. Why does his lord keep watching that dreadful human program?! He walks down the hall, takes one look at the door to the bridge of the Nemesis, and then goes very still.

Starscream takes a deep vent. "My Lord. Why is there a chalkboard sign above the doorway to the bridge that says 'bridge' in swirly cursive?"

bridge

Megatron nods and zooms in on it. "'tis a decoration. to add cheer. it will improve work morale."

"Okay. Just... okay?" Starscream looks around the Nemesis and grimaces. There are other cursive chalkboard signs now all over. "Oh! More signs I see. Eh? What is this?" He steps up to a window and glares at the sign now above it.

window

"Um? Does this really need a cursive sign?"

"yes."

"Ha! Are you just going to forget where everything on the ship is located?"

"i'm going to abandon you somewhere and forget where you're located if you keep bitching about my design choices!" He points to yet another cursive sign hanging from a ribbon on the wall.

no cussin' no fussin' no backtalkin'

He taps the "backtalkin'." The sign swings around.

Starscream shuts his intake and continues to look around at the other signs.

this is us, our life, our story, our home

"Oh, god," he hoarsely whispers. He shakily grabs onto Soundwave's servo and clutches it for comfort.

Welcome to our crazy, loud, chaotic, loving home conquering spaceship

A whimper breaks free out of Starscream. Soundwave grips his talon in return.

"it is all a part of the farmhouse aesthetic, starscream," Megatron scoffs. "recite one."

Starscream gasps. "W-what?"

"recite one of my cheerful home decor quotes. now. your life is on the line here."

Starscream grits his dentae. "Which one?"

Megatron points at a rather large sign hanging from a ribbon tied onto a rafter.

bathroom [bɑ́ːθrʉwm] noun. a kingdom of splash, brush, wash, and flush. See also: the best seat in the house.

"Oh, oh, please, no. Please."

"this is not the way you want to perish, starscream. now. indulge me in my rustic farmhouse aesthetic."

Starscream gulps. "'B-bathroom, uh, noun, a kingdom of splash--'"

"my kingdom," Megatron interrupts.

"--uh, yes, your kingdom. 'B-brush, wash...'" Starscream takes a deep vent and falls to his knees. "This is the stupidest thing you've ever done!"

"you recited it wrong. 'this is the stupidest thing you've ever done'? that is not written in any calligraphy. idiot. that is not part of the sign. you still have not fully recited my cheerful farmhouse quote in its entirety yet. continue."

Starscream nearly faints. "We don't even have a bathroom!"

Megatron slaps Starscream to the side. Megatron then throws his arms out. "'in a world where you can be anything, be kind.' chat! tell me where to place more signs!"

Soundwave's entire frame locks up as his gaze fixes onto the most horrible thing he's ever seen in his entire life.

💖live, love, laugh, lord💖

It's mocking him. This cutesy calligraphic sign is the largest of all and is propped right onto the central computer console at the head of the bridge.

"ahhh," Megatron sighs proudly behind Soundwave as he steps up behind his shellshocked third in command. He claps his servo onto Soundwave's shoulder. "this sign is special. see, this is the only one i didn't order from qvc. i made this one sign myself. karen, one of the hosts on that program, instructed me on how to make it. i even called in. it was friday night craftpalooza. good times."

The calligraphy was clearly written out using a talon covered in dark energon.

"soundwave. would you like to make your own sign?"

Soundwave rips himself free of Megatron's grasp, grabs Starscream's talon, creates a bridge, and then flings himself and Starscream through it.

Silence.

"...well then. they're just jealous. damnit. i need them to gather back here." He takes a picture of a nearby sign and sends it to both Starscream and Soundwave.