#mcD0n@lds

[thebekashow]

Can't help but notice that ever since I decided to quit mcdonalds (because I'm pro Palestinian.), that I would ALWAYS crave the taste.. it was like i was addicted to it.

Turn out, they intentionally made it that way! All that good stuff from Mc D's you've been having hunger pangs for? It's cuz of the sugar, and all that salt. It was intentional.

Cuz.. y'know. Thats not a lawsuit waiting to happen -_-

Anyways. FREE PALESTINE >:(

[piness011]

When mass companies like mcd0n@lds and st@rb*cks are funding to the IDF who proceed to murder innocent women, men, children, elderly. But some people are saying things like "idc ab the boycott im still buying it😋😋" BRO

This says a lot ab that person

[mollydollyjournals]

I did go to see friends. They're awesome people and I missed them a lot over quarantine etc. One of them and hb are into football so they watched the England match, and I sat with a cat and the other friend and we talked about stuff. I can relate to her more about all the stuff that's currently bugging me, and it was nice to get some validation and acceptance tbh. Just like "it's not nice to experience that kind of trigger" and "I can see how that's really hard" and "you deserve nice things" and just like...support? I've been without that so much and that's my whole fucking problem. That I then lose my shit over smaller stuff because I feel like it's all I have and I cant deal with anything. And then I feel guilty for overreacting. So actually having someone acknowledge my mental response to that is helpful. We both have BPD and shes come here to talk stuff through when shits bad for her, just that my way of dealing with rejection and triggers etc is to just pull back because I dont want to bother anyone and cant deal with any more rejection. Not because I want to be alone, I just dont see any way that I wont be.

So it was nice to actually vent properly and tbh I think I really needed to tell someone that I would have got a divorce if I could afford to. I feel really guilty about that. Hb has started to mention it but hes always so vague about everything. We dont really have a relationship anymore and haven't for ages, and we very clearly want and need different things. But we're sort of codependent. If I had money, I could leave but still be supportive from a bit more distance as a friend. I think that's what's best. But theres, you know...capitalism. Ableism.

I did drink a bit as well though. I want to drink more. I have a bit left and I didnt want to drink loads today because I need to do stuff tomorrow and I literally just said I was gonna drink less often, but just...I've pretty much been crying for like 24hrs and the wine and talking to a friend actually made me feel less suicidal and all that so I feel like if theres any time to make an exception it's now. It'll still go on my chart and I still have to make sure I lower my overall amount. I dont know. I'm undecided as to whether I should get more or not.

I also dont really know what to do now. That's where wine would help. I might stop thinking as much. Especially as on the way back, hb stopped at mcd0n*lds and got food and the smell of it and like...it gave me cravings. I think if it happened any day other than today I would have struggled a lot more. But I currently dont think I can really do food. I had my salad earlier and idk. Idk. I'm glad I went out. But I'm still very unstable and idk what to do with myself