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mintys-musings · 2 years ago

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i remembered the idea of Alpha!Mayoi Ayase and the gears are turning. so ig i am writing something for his day v quickly- just some ramble about him in a rut and a gn!reader finding him

NSFW under cut~!

ik ik the logical idea would be to have omega!mayoi but really consider him being an alpha~ :3

if he's in a rut, he's avoiding everyone more than he usually is. he's so fucking ashamed of himself. the shame eats at him and swallows him whole that any rational thought is thrown out in favour of hiding so he can deal with the problem himself.

hell thats even assuming he leaves his room- well actually- he might leave his room in order to go to the most secluded spots of ES that he can think of

100% is crying as he tries to jack himself off. crying- whimpering- moaning in that way he usually does but now it is actually because of something sexual- the whole 9 yards

poor baby if you find him- he would be groveling at your feet apologising. he's so disgusting for revealing his true nature to you like this (he didn't do anything. you just found him like this) he has held your kindness too close to his heart and now he fears you'll despise him for the wretched being he is (he moaned your name a couple times)

if you offer to help him out during his rut, he's going to have an internal struggle. he would nearly pounce on you before his anxiety kicks in and he starts clutching at your legs and asking if it's truly okay

it takes some convincing, but less than normal because his rut is altering his brain chemistry.

would hold off as long as he can to prep you, but foreplay is very sloppy and quick. he needs to be in you. he's begging to be in you.

the minute his dick is in your hole, any self control is out the window. he is ROUGH and FAST. lord help you.

so so vocal. mostly apologising and praising/thanking you between moans and whimpers. he describes everything he's feeling in such detail it's almost like you could feel it too.

drools. drools and bites. he is also apologising for all the mess. he is a very messy person when in a rut. if you let him claim you fully, he's- well first he's gonna cry- second he's gonna mark you up completely. lets you return the favour after because "I'm yours as much as you are mine, darling~ Maybe even more so~"

once his knot pops into place, he's holding you as tight as he can without hurting you and laying down. whispers more thanks and apologies into your hair and kisses your face all over. he's so grateful that he might start up again even before his knot fully relaxes. just humping into your hole until you're both too overstimulated to talk

after everything, is treating you like a precious glass sculpture. absolutely spoils you with care and affection. goes into the following week even in subtle ways like everything you need/thought you loss appearing. sometimes he leaves sticky notes with love hearts so you know exactly who it's from. sweetheart mayoi my beloved scrungly forever mwuah mwuah 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

#Minty's Musings #Minty Rambles #esxreadernsfwmonth2023 #nsft es!!#enstars x reader smut #mayoi ayase smut #mayoi ayase x reader smut #mayoi ayase my beloved #i wanna kiss him all over his cute face #i wanna take care of him and feed him strawberries and cream #treat him like a princess and snuggle #i say after writing a ramble where he fucks you beyond dumb #nahaaaaaa~ what can i say ;3c #love love love mayoi ayase #mwwwuah~!#i dont talk abt him enough here...#not proofread btw like the rest of my shit HA #all stream of consciousness...#mayoi ayase x reader

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distortedmoondisc · 1 year ago

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Hey! I know you're a big Alkaloid fan (amazing taste btw), so I was wondering if you had any thoughts on their upcoming solos and what you'd like to see for each? Personally, I'd love something with Phantom of the Opera inspiration for Mayoi considering his backstory, but I'm not quite sure on the other three and wanted to know if you had anything in mind for them? Thanks!!!

Sorry for the late reply, but I'm so glad you sent me an ask!!! 🥹🙌

Despite how excited I am for the prospect of Alkaloid getting solos, I try my best to not have any expectations for them so I can be surprised when they release... however! I admit I do have a few expectations for them shdjf so...

An unnecessarily long post talking about what I'd like to see for the upcoming Alkaloid's solos!

I'm not sure if it's canon, but I read somewhere that the solos are based on the characters' first Feature Scout cards. Therefore, the solo songs for Alkaloid should fit their first FS cards, and I have some expectations for them to fill if that's the case 👁️

Let's start with Aira!

For Aira, I would like that his solo song has some European or specifically French elements, mostly in the instrumental (I still wonder if I'd like Aira to say some french words in the song, since an essential part of Aira's character is that he doesn't fit the foreigner image people have of him —despite his looks, he's just an average Japanese boy, he doesn't know any French—; but I also think that, if in his FS1 he embraced this side of his identity, he would also be open to use some French in the lyrics despite not knowing the language, also as a sign that he's accepting his French blood as part of his identity).

Of course, I hope that his solo song is upbeat and cheerful, and that the lyrics talk about his self doubt and insecurities, but with a hopeful outlook about it—talking about how he's still going to try to work hard to overcome his challenges, to be able to stand on stage with pride and become the idol he's always dreamed to become. Now that I think about it, it seems I'd like something like Living on the Edge— except perhaps less self deprecating and angsty, but with the same determination and 'i won't give up' vibes expressed by the lyrics (such as the lines "Though my heart seems like it might break, I wonder why / I don't feel like calling it quits here at all" and "even if I compare and envy others, I can't be anyone but myself") (curiously enough, these two lines are sung by Aira in Living on the Edge 🥹 the first one featuring Tatsumi)

Speaking of Living on the Edge, an alternative theme for Aira's solo would be the feelings of envy and jealousy he feels for those that achieve what he still hasn't. This would also make the song more serious and slightly darker. But then again, that topic was already addressed in Living on the Edge, so it probably won't be the topic of his solo song, but I just wanted to mention it since these ugly feelings of envy are an important part of Aira as a character and a thing that affects many of his decisions and feelings in his stories, even though he's getting better at it and overcoming it!

Also, as a plus, I'd like that somewhere in his solo song they make a reference to the ugly duckling story... The metaphor just fits his character arc so perfectly. A duckling that has been perceived as ugly for most of his life, living a lonely existence thinking that they aren't enough and that they're disliked by everyone, for later to find a family of his own and with them realizing his own beauty and qualities.

Now, let's go with Hiiro!

I would like his solo song to address at least one of 2 elements important to Hiiro's character arc that he's still on a journey to solve:

1. I wish his solo song could address his thoughts and feelings about what he wants to do with his life now that he's free from the imposed role of servitude he had under Rinne in their hometown. Hiiro finding the thing he wants to do by himself is one of the most important parts of his journey as a character—and ever since the ending of the !! Main Story, we already know he has chosen to keep going on this path to become an idol (sincerely this time, instead of it being just a means to an end to bring his brother back home), so I'd like to see Hiiro talking about how he feels about his new independence, as well as his feelings for being an idol.

2. I'd like his solo song to expand more on his feelings about the relativity of morality and justice, and how this clashes with the values he learned at his hometown about universal, unbending rules about what is right and wrong. Hiiro, at the beginning of the story, had a very strict and rigid set of morality that wasn't really his, but imposed culturally and socially by his hometown, but throughout the MS he learns that what is right and true in his hometown isn't necessarily right and true in the city, and how there're more perspectives and ways of thinking and doing things outside of the world he knew. What the narrative concluded for Hiiro is that what needs to do now is to figure out what is right and what is wrong by himself, to question everything he learns and to learn as much as he can to expand his horizons; Hiiro already has a core set of values regarding justice and morality that he truly believes in, regardless of whether or not they were taught by him by his hometown or by his stay on the city, and he's basing the rest of his decisions and thoughts from those.

(This is the theme I'd love to see explored in his solo song the most, and it's also the least likely one to be addressed in his solo lmao due to how complex it is.... but we never know! I had this idea in the first place after reading the lyrics of Vermilion —and I already made a separate post screaming about a specific part of the song in the past, but I'm bringing it back just because I can never shut up—because there's a part that says "In an autonomous life, there is meaning you'll never grasp / With the suit of your soul, persist in your belief" and I think this line puts perfectly Hiiro's dilemma: he now has an autonomous life, and with this autonomy and freedom comes the lack of a purpose in life (set by someone else, in this case), so he feels lost about what to do and about what is the meaning of his life anymore, but that the best he can do to navigate this world is to trust in himself and persists in his personal beliefs, which means deciding things on his own and coming to his own conclusions. Vermilion is a song that talks about Hiiro's sense of identity regarding his value as an autonomous person only in certain parts, so I wish Hiiro's solo expanded on those ideas planted in Vermilion that were limited to just a few lines.)

While Rinne is a very important person to Hiiro and their bond is a vital part of his character arc and story, I hope his solo song isn't directed to him or solely about him. I hope Hiiro's solo is dedicated to his own thoughts, feelings and struggles, instead of being dedicated to someone else—this would go against the whole point of Hiiro's character, who is now independent from Rinne and his own person. I know some solos are dedicated from one character to another, but it's important for Hiiro that his song is about himself, so I hope Happyele doesn't mess that up.

I would love some red swallow imagery somewhere!! That's hiiro's tagline, so I hope they use it somewhere in his solo.

Musically speaking, I think his solo will be something very Alkaloid-like—by which I mean, rock music that is very encouraging and powerful (like pretty much all Alkaloid songs). I am thinking of Vermilion or You're Speculation as examples lol.

Next, Tatsumi!

I have a feeling if any solo should be sad/melancholic/angsty, it should be his... Tatsumi, despite how calm and kind he is, he is haunted by the incident with Kaname and filled with guilt. Tatsumi is extremely self sacrificing and tends to pin the fault at himself, and to top it all he also avoids relying on others and instead wants people to rely on him. Tatsumi is forcing a very lonely situation upon himself, so I kinda wish his solo song talked about the 'sins' he has committed and the regret he feels for them, and how he feels he is the only one that can carry this burden, alone.

Alternatively, I really wish his solo song addressed his faith, and I'm pretty sure it will in some way, but I have no idea in which way they could... I would like to see his solo expanding on his feelings for his religion and how it related to his wish to become an idol in the first place (Tatsumi wanted to become an idol to make his sect less stigmatized by society, since Japan isn't very accepting of those who aren't part of the main 2 beliefs of the country, Shinto or Buddhism). The topic of religion and faith with Tatsumi is extremely complex, more than you would think at first glance; we don't know his real and deeper feelings about his faith, and he seems to have an unconventional view of religion in the first place (he has only talked about his faith in more depth in Feather Touch as far as I know, and in there he makes this argument that is... very particular to say the least.

Tatsumi here is saying that God may or may not exist as most of us imagine him—as a sentient otherworldly being that is omnipotent and created the world, but that God might actually be the "Thing" (Power, as he calls it) that a group of people believe in, that is what drives them and gives them strength. To me, what Tatsumi is essentially saying here is that belief itself is this Power. Belief itself, no matter to what it is, as long as it motivates you and makes many believers reshape the world a certain way, can be considered "God."

This is, of course, against not only the Catholic doctrine but against many other Christian sects' beliefs, lol. But it's interesting nonetheless. I think this might be too complex for a song to tackle by itself, but I still would like to see Tatsumi talking about God and what he believes it is, and if this Power is what led him to 'reshape' the world he knew (referencing the failed revolution at Reimei).

Musically speaking, I wonder if they could use some typical church choir instrumental in his solo? Personally I'd love to see this take place. I feel that, to fit the melancholic vibe of the solo, the song would be slow and not very energetic, though I could also see the rhythm picking up at some point (probably when the lyrics become more emotional) and become more "Alkaloid-like" where it turns powerful and encouraging instead.

I can see his solo using Latin phrases (similar to how they did in Artistic Partisan!), referencing either Christianity (using 'mea culpa' or lines of some christian prayers in latin, like the Pater Noster) or philosophy (the only example I can think of the top of my head is 'memento mori'...)

And for last, Mayoi!

I think his solo will be about his own feelings of unworthiness and self depreciation, in how he feels he's evil and bad and that he can only belong in the shadows, where nobody can perceive him and he can't offend anyone with his presence. But I hope it makes emphasis in Mayoi's desire to live in the light; in how he wishes to be seen, acknowledged and loved by others, and that he's tired of admiring the lives of others from the shadows and yearning for what they have, so he himself came out from the dark to take a part of the outside world. He might be selfish and egotistical for having these wishes, but it just can't be helped.

I really love this side of Mayoi, personally, in how despite seeing himself as unworthy, he recognizes his own desire for happiness and love and has the will in him to act upon this urge. Selfishness is usually not a desirable thing, but in Mayoi's case, I believe it should be forgiven and even encouraged.

I really agree with you and your idea of his solo being like Phantom of the Opera! I imagine his solo being like a rock opera, very powerful that makes full use of Mayoi's unique vocals and range.

I think these are all my thoughts.... I apologize if it was way longer and more complicated than you asked for lmao.

But still, I wish to remain without expectations for their solos so I can appreciate them for what they are and analyze them correctly the day they release!

I also don't claim to be making predictions with any of these! These are just my delusions, ramblings and wishes as an AlkaP that loves these 4 boys way too much shdjfkg

#never ask dia anything about alkaloid lest you'll get a 1k essay at minimum #jk ask me more of these things it's fun #though writing all of this took me a whole afternoon ahdjfk #got distracted doing some research for some of the claims i make here #alkaloid my beloveds #enstars #ensemble stars #enstars alkaloid #alkaloid #aira shiratori #hiiro amagi #tatsumi kazehaya #mayoi ayase #my post #asks

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