#maybe your responses will inspire me
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Sneak Peek of my current WIP
A/N: I feel bad for making you guys wait, maybe your responses to this will also help motivate me to keep writing it? I've kind of hit a roadblock so your feedback would be much appreciated đ
You couldnât even scream when the door was ripped from its hinges, the beast breaking through it like it was wet parchment. You were petrified in place, hyperventilating and trembling at the sight of it.Â
It was a giant wolf. It was covered from head to toe in midnight black fur although there were spots that seemed thinner than others that were littered with scars - slashes and bite wounds from what you could only imagine were others of its kind. It was larger than a horse with a head so huge it could bite your own clean off in one impressive snap. And then there were the eyes. They were glowing an ice-cold silver in the dark with a glare that felt sharp enough to slice through you while a gnarled scar marred the fur and skin of its right eye.Â
Your body slowly began to slump to the ground, falling weak before the wolf. You looked like the perfect prey, like a rabbit that was so frightened its own heart had stopped. It seemed that the wolf thought similarly. It approached you slowly like it was still on the prowl as angry snarls left its gaping maw. You could feel your blood run cold as you caught sight of its enormous teeth, each one long enough that they could be made into daggers. Whatever this creature was it was no mere wolf, it was something else entirely.
Your chest and forehead met the ground, bending beneath the invisible weight of the wolfâs presence. From beneath the cover of your hair, you could make out its large paws and hooked nails mere inches away from you. It was so close now that you could feel puffs of its hot breath disturb your hair and ghost over your neck. You were breaths away from death.Â
You couldnât decide if you wanted to flee or embrace it as you had once desired.
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#tumblr polls#polls#Sorry if the wording is weird. I thought ''be considered X where I live'' would make the most sense since 'tallness' or etc. is sort of#subjective to the people around you or your specific culture/area/etc. And if I just said ''I'm tall'' or ''I'm short'' then#the response might be 'well how do I define whether I'm tall or not?'' or etc. But then most people could probably look#at the people around them in daily life they interact with and compare based on that to get a more literal idea or something#..ANYWAY.. lol.. as usual just thought of some random thing and was like.. hrmm... i wonder what the most common#feeling about that would be.#personally I'm not even short but I just want to be really really tall... like... 7 feet tall or something. In a fantasy world type of way#of course. so like a super tall elf creature. More realistically I suppose you get health problems past a certain point#so maybe I'd be happy with 6'2â or so.#Absolutely no hate towards people with this preference but I've always had trouble understanding the idea of wanting to be shorter#so you're Small And Cute or this and that. or whatever the base reason is. I suppose I would understand it from a surivval prespective#maybe you want to be able to hide in your environment easier and blend into a crowd. I personally would like people to be inspired to run#away from me when they see me though gjhbj#In an average grocery store or something just a normal day but then some 8 foot tall wizard man walks in and so everyone#kind of backs away slowly = yaaay I get the aisle all to myself and can shop for my produce in peace.#(except for the fact that there's a subsection of people who would intepret it as spectacle and would run towards instead of away#and pull out their dumbass phones to film Weird Thing Happening. in which case. spell of 'phone melts into molten plastic in your hands#stop filming strangers in public without their consent' be cast upon ye. )
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Huevember 22
Brent, the most expressive bard to ever bard.
#my characters#oops i fell in love#i love brentholomew the bard#brent just deadpanning his support is wonderful and karen appreciates it a lot#because hey man brents hilarious esp due to the dryness and she really loves chatting with him#so having him as her support for bardic inspiration so she can murder just brings her so much joy#right and karen probably hype him up in game as a petty rivalry to paul and his npc hot bardtender#like yeah you might have your npc of your crush but WE have the better bard look hes wonderful#hes practically glowing look at him paul do you see the superior bard#and brent is just staring at paul and paul is staring back and they both dont know what to say in the situation#bc what is there to say? i prefer the npc? or maybe point out that the four are literally in a party together?#like sure hb is an npc but paul is actively running around in game with brent and like.... what do you say#brent doesnt actually want to point out theyre in the same group bc then karen and right will stop antagonizing paul#and honestly nothing against paul but its fun to watch him get quiet and confused#chris is off to the side begging them all to focus on the actual campaign - they can hype brent up later please just focus#which is a nice contrast to right having to play responsible adult at the police station#now chris has to wrangle the other adults and also keep them focused good luck!#i love brent a lot im totally biased bc hes my depression as an oc C:#so he means a lot to me and his lack of socialness and his childhood emotional neglect is a la my experiences#like brents my depression and rights my anxiety#smoosh them together and theyre soul mates haha how very ace of me as ive said before#but also i main bard in ffxiv when i play which is also possibly the bias for brent to be a bard in the dnd au#gang im so tired
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Gomz, your tags, you're gonna kill me one of these days đââ€ïžâ I love when I see you go through my entire tumblr, I feel honored honestly. Your tags on my snowy NikPrice piece just ended me, you really are too kind ;-; Hope you have an awesome day and find many cool Price at the con <3
I will smoother you with love and affection YA NERD!! *tackles you to the ground and wraps ya with warm blankies*
Idk about finding Price cosplayers (have never seen one irl and frankly I donât think I ever will but hope is a strong game here) but thank you!! :D have a good night rest too bud
#may have opened a google doc bcuz of that art#ive never written nikprice before tho and its scary bcuz idk how to write old men in love HDJSJSJSJSJKSKSJD#its a whole different world there and sometimes I feel like I donât have the rights to write them LMFAO#a very dumb stupid thought I know I know AYE OI PUT THOSE TOMATOES AND KNIVES AWAY#i think cuz being cis is part of it IDFK#thereâs a different level of yearning and feelings to man in love that i have not understood fully and hence the feeling#bjt i will try anyways bcuz art so inspiring it yeets me out of that stupid train of thoughts#funny how youâre tackling your brain over your art and im doing the same shit with my writings LMFAO#maybe we both need to be bullied ethically#anyways love u nekros#ask response#thanks for the ask <3
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[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.
#cw gore#WEEEE WHIPPING OUT ALL MY BELOVED PIXEL HORROR GAME SOUNDTRACKS FOR THIS ONE#STILL A WIP#SORTA. FORKSFORKSFORKS INSPIRED ME TO START WORKIN AT IT AGAIN. AND NOW IT LIVES. IT LIIIVEESS!!!#MOSLT.Y ATLEAST. I MIGHT MESS W IT MORE LATER. WE SHALL SEE. ANYWAY GABRIEL MONTEZ HUH. WOW POOR GUY#THERES A FASCINATING FEELING THAT COMES WITH BEING ON A OPERATING TABLE.AND BEING IN IMMENSE PAIN#ONE OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES IS LAYING ON A DENTIST CHAIR. SHAKING AND INVOLUNTARILY CRYING AFTER MANY MANY#NEEDLES TO MY THE MOUTH. I METABOLIZE THE NUMBING STUFF QUICKLY APPARENTLY. THEY NEEDED ALOT OF NUMBING SHOTS#BUT I WASNT AFRAID OR DISTRESSED. THE DENTIST WAS VERYVERY NICE AND ALSO UH. PRETTY. BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT#THE POINT IS. THAT IT WAS FASCINATING TO REALIZE MY PHYSICAL RESPONSE TO PAIN UNDER A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT#I DIDNT KNOW HOW EASY IT WAS TO SHAKE AND TO CRY PRYVIOUS TO THAT EXPERIENCE.MY DENTAL ADVENTURES CONTINUE#THEY CONTINUE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE FOR PAIN TO BOIL AWAY THE TIME. TO DISTORT THE PASSING HOURS AND CONSUME EVERY THOUGHT#DO YOU REMEMBER PAIN? THE MOST SEVERE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE? NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE RED LIGHTS? RED LIGHTS AND SHIFTING FIGURES#NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE PAIN UNRELENTING.PAIN WORLD SHATTERING.PAIN IMMORTAL.CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING PULLED APART#THE HUMAN MIND CAN ONLY WITHSTAND SO MUCH PAIN BEFORE IT SHUTS DOWN AND HIDES.IT NEEDS TO PROTECT ITSELF AFTERALL. PAIN CAN ALTER#PAIN SHIFTS THE CHEMISTY OF THE MIND OF THE FLESH OF THE SOUL. FOR HUMANS ATLEAST. BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER HUMAN#YOU CHOSE OTHERWISE DIDNT YOU BOY.BECAUSE YOU WANTED MORE.STATUS.POWER.APPROVAL.SECURITY.SAFET.Y.#OHHH YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE PAIN FOR THAT. FOR ALL THAT. YOU WERENT TOLD THERE WOULD BE PAIN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE PROMISED.#ITS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END. NOW LETS JUST HOPE SOME BLONDE TWERP DOESNT PROVE TO BE STRONGER THAN THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE#LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. I LOST MY TRAIN O THOUGHT#anyway dawww poorr gabeee that shit probably huuurrrrtttss but so much time has passed that your body got tired of screaming and squirming#why havnt you passed out yet? maybe you might as well have at this point. like sleeping with your eyes open and your nerves awake#OH HEY FUNFACT ABT THE ART. I FOUGHT W IT ALOT. TOOK A LONG WHILE FOR ME TO BE REMOTELY HAPPY W THIS.#i was thinking abt pixel horror video games when i made it.just as i do with all great things ofc ofc#i love you pixel horror game i love yooouuuuu.i struggled so much w the colors for so LONNGG UHGHGHGH but im finally happy...im finally fre
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no one would notice if i ever vanished // if bodies could sustain // this never-ending army // like blood pumping through a vein
(click for better resolution!)
:OOO hello. anyway since these are all posters i'd have in an ideal world or smth and i'd like to store the high res versions somewhere,,, here's the google drive folder for them? hehe ''
close up!
#adamandi#vincent aurelius lin#i'm back with the posters! or smth! idk!!#i'm maybe just a bit obsessed with vincent. such a Character.#where can i run is sustaining me single-handedly through this exam season (<- has cried thrice in the last two days; alas; but moving on)#my stress response was that in a fit of apathy i shut myself down from academia and stopped to paint this#six hours total? on this funky little thing! had to push myself to finish the magnifying glass but!! looks so cool. i'm impressed with my e#fun fact: all the shades are hand-coloured. aka everything is digitally hand painted hooray!! i havent painted for a long time (ish)#smth about this musical makes me want to paint. it's very lovely that way#it's also a miracle i haven't gotten carpal tunnel or any wrist injuries so far... i'm a lucky person! hooray#i had so many thoughts to ramble about and now i don't recall any of them.#-! about this piece: inspired specifically by that one line that i doodled in the margins of a math practice last night#the diagonal slant was very. thinky. the rendering and angle were kinda contradictory to do but it's fineeee (draft was diff. pov)#i liked the red abstraction. and the way that people (misc) gave same vibes as red blood cells.#green for vincent because contrasting colour!! considered a spotlight that was more obv bc. again theatre lighting is so cool. but that was#a bit too literal? i think. so just fun little highlights. no one look at the accuracy of anything here though.. shadows do Not do this#also like hehehe lin. forest. forest of people. i really liked thinking about that. hehehe#i didn't know the font to use!! or quote!! so i slapped on the name of the musical and called it a day... the blank one is in the google-#-folder if you want to add your own stuff :') also also i wasn't sure about cropping at all. so again high res in google drive link#which is under the keep-reading sign! kind of a choose your own adventure because i'm lazy :3#ajhshdhfhfhfhf i think i've been fuelled by the tags under each post so far. so intensely. so very nice.#also when the cast or creators drop fun facts... serotonin right there.. they're all so nice waaagh it's so cool that they like my stuff ><#<laughs> really grateful that the whole fandom's so sweet <3 thank you for your support TvT#alright!! off to mess about with chemistry. jiayou me.#oh yes. a post script about the cropping crisis: i wasn't sure how small i wanted to make him. in proportion to the crowd. so if you see it#on mobile ig it's tiny and on laptop it kind of makes sense ...
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âI donât know much about what my soul looks like but I know heâs wearing a corset and thigh highs.â
#mod poss#dialogue prompts#dialogue prompt#writerblr#original writing#writing inspiration#story prompt#creative writing#writing ideas#(my friend is pushing me to design a visual persona)#(this was my response when she said 'how your soul looks')#fashion au#comedy au#soul au#(idk what to tag this)#(maybe ill post him here when he's drawn)
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@proditeur answered a meme for me once that made me decide that Dorothea has to do a vampire thing at some point (i also am nothing if not a vampire girlie at heart) so!
Dorothea was in an independent, unauthorized/unofficial retelling of Dracula (think like Nosferatu for unauthorized/unofficial, where it's not 'officially' Dracula, and the names and a bunch of other things were changed, but the inspiration was clearly Dracula; unlike the original Nosferatu, though, this film did have enough licensing that they weren't sued over it). the concept was a modern retelling utilizing a lot of 'found footage' techniques, unsent voice memos/failed-to-upload video messages, 'news' clips etc, to adapt the letters/journals/articles style of the original book. Brent Bradley's [x] sister wrote and directed the film, and most of the cast and crew were friends of hers or friends of her well-connected family. (Brent had scheduling conflicts and wasn't in it himself.) Dorothea played the Mina Murray character, and at one point at a film festival described filming the movie as 'cathartic.' (years later, after the video of her and Jason leaked [x], the clip of her referring to filming this project as cathartic recirculated on the internet, with many fans now assuming she was referring to Jason. she was.) the film got a fair amount of critical acclaim, didn't do particularly well at the box office, but became a cult classic.
#is this self indulgent because i want two things from hollywood: 1) this type of modern retelling of dracula#and 2) an actually super book accurate version of dracula (that does not romanticize him and mina. assault is not sexy.)#maybe it is self indulgent but i write an actor oc i can be self indulgent with the movies she's done.#(side note though i've been wondering for years now why no one has done a found-audio podcast version of dracula.)#(voice memos would lend themselves perfectly to this sort of adaptation. anyway. i digress.)#(...i'll go back to watching true blood now)#headcanons â ( write books about me )#thank u g for unintentionally inspiring this with your meme response <3
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sometimes ill tell people im planning to get top surgery and theyll go OMG WHY?? đ„ș as if i told them im gna break into their house and cut THEIR titties off. brother with all due disrespect get the fuck out of my face
#the only response u should have is 'cool' or 'sick' or maybe 'dope'. perhaps even 'gnarly'#ive even had fellow lgbts react like this like MY GUY ?? LIBERATE YOUR MIND#post inspired by the mitski shirt im wearing which i love soooooo much but the fit of it makes me so dysphoric LOL#i thought it was going to be a baggier fit. not so!#but i love the design so much that i tough it out. For Her
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Bros i am about to have no actual friends within 15 miles from me for the first time in ages wtf đ”âđ« I'm gonna have like one coworker I like who is my age and one guy who Im terrified of from school and also it doesnt rly matter bcus i should be spending these last few months with my parents and also going crazy on the grindset. This is such a temporary situation bcus I will also hopefully be moving in August but like bro what!! Usually I can kick bad habits concerning isolation and bed rotting over the summer bcus Im so busy but damn for the next two months I really need to make sure I'm actually doing things and making an effort instead of just rotting away on a device. The good thing is that in the strangest way its almost like an exciting way to relive the sins of my k-12 years except prove that I can be normal. The BAD thing is that this hinges on me being normal
#umm i forgot what my posts tag is#gene talks#i guess thats sufficient idk#but man Liam moves on Sunday and im WORKING#the good thing is i have Monday off and Tuesday is a late start so idk I can go over maybe and hang out#its exciting though its cool to be responsible for your relationships#i am actually really hoping to cultivate many friendships and to continue strengthening my bonds with people#making this post inspired me to text two buddies very nice ok#anywayyy i think im gonna start using this more as a blogging platform and start to ween myself off of tiktok#they should make an app of Jellodiggers tiktoks and allow ppl to scroll
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Are We Still Friends?
Pairing: Reader x Azriel
Summary: Worried about how his new relationship seems to be changing him, you talk to Azriel about your concerns. Things take a turn when he refuses to listen.
Warnings: some wine sipping, gossiping, angst, miscommunication, friend fighting, jealousy (but no one realizes), az being defensive and blind
Word Count: 5k
âč ⶠ𧷠â¶âčÂ
âItâs not that I donât like her.â
The words tasted as false as they were, and you grimaced the moment they slipped out, already bracing for the look Mor would throw your way. True to form, she didnât disappoint, her expression halfway between amusement and exasperation.
A defeated sigh escaped as you accepted the glass of wine she offered, watching as she filled her own nearly to the brim.
âYouâre better than me, then,â she hummed, settling back onto the couch across from you. âBecause I donât like her.â
You raised a brow. âYou donât like many people nowadays.â
She shrugged, casual as ever, though a smirk tugged at her lips. âTrue. Iâm not exactly lining up for any peace medals, am I?â
You chuckled softly, leaning back in your chair. âI just⊠have this odd feeling about her, you know?â
Mor tilted her head, letting out a noncommittal hum. âOh, I know. She drags Az around on a leash.â
You were tempted to say something about the irony in her wordsâremind her, in a loving manner, that she might've been guilty of that once upon a time, too. But you decided against it. She wasn't wrong.
You swirled the wine in your glass, watching the dark liquid move in slow, mesmerizing circles. The feeling wasnât new; it had been there since the first time youâd met her. Azrielâs new girlfriend Selene was perfectly fineâcharming, even. But there was something else, something you couldnât quite name. Like a faint hum in the background of a quiet room, just irritating enough to notice but not enough to prove anything was wrong.
âWhy donât you talk to him?â
You glanced up, finding Morâs bright brown eyes sharp and focused on you, the lazy humor of a moment ago gone.
âI doubt heâll listen,â you admitted, resting the bottom of your glass on your thigh. âHe didnât listen to you.â
âThatâs different.â
âItâs really not.â
Mor raised a brow like she wanted to argue, but she only sighed in response. âHeâs been so weird about his love life. Gwyn didnât work out. Elainâs probably the happiest out of all of us. Maybe heâs treading lightly.â
âMaybe,â you murmured, though you werenât convinced.
Azriel had changed in small, almost imperceptible ways since everything had settledâsince everyone had paired off and fallen in love. Everyone except you. And him.
You were fine with your situation, content in the quiet steadiness of your life. Azriel wasnât. You knew it. He knew it, though heâd never admit it. So much of his self-worth was tangled up in whether he believed himself worthy of love. And the absence of itâof a solid, undeniable love in his life, of a partner, of a potential bondâseemed to weigh on him. To him, it wasnât just an empty space; it was a failure.
Youâd almost go as far as to say heâd become desperate, living in the shadows and watching his brothers experience loves so profound they might as well have been plucked from stories meant to inspire poets and dreamers.
Mating bonds were rare. You reminded yourself of that often. Your family was just an anomaly, their luck skewed impossibly high. But logic wasnât enough to soothe Azriel, and it certainly wouldnât stop him from chasing it. He was obsessive. Stubborn.
Nothing you said or did could change his perspective.
Morâs voice pulled you out of your head again. âSpeak of the devil,â she sang out. âHi, Elain.â
Your gaze snapped up to the doorway, finding Elain standing just beyond the archway. She looked like a spooked deer, frozen in place with that polite smile youâd come to recognize as her default around company she hadnât fully warmed up to yet.
âWe were just talking about Azrielâs unfortunate romantic history,â Mor said smoothly. You glanced at Elain for her reaction.
It had taken time for that particular history to fade. Maybe it was appropriate to joke about now, but you personally wouldâve waited a few more years before bringing it up so flippantly. Mor, however, had little patience for such niceties.
Elainâs expression didnât shift beyond a faint flicker in her eyes, and you realized how much her composure had improved over the years. Then again, it had been a while since she and Lucien had found each other for goodâlong enough for their bond to solidify and for them to leave for the Day Court after their mating ceremony.
A twinge of jealousy sparked in you before you brushed it aside.
âWeâre just gossiping in general. Want to join us?â you asked, gesturing to the chair beside you. Plush and inviting, it mirrored the one you sat on. âUnless Lucien is waiting for you upstairs?â
Elainâs cheeks flushed crimson.Â
âLucienâs still with Feyre, catching up,â she said, stepping further into the room. âWhat are you drinking?â
Mor reached for the bottle on the table, plucking it up and turning it in her hand to read the label.
âSomething good and expensive,â she replied, with a half-hearted air of indulgence, before tilting her head at Elain with a faint grin.
âItâs from Rhysâs rather gluttonous collection,â you said, sensing Elainâs hesitation. âIt wonât be missed at all.â
She smiled at that. âIâd love some.â
âThere are a lot of glasses in that cabinet,â you said, pointing to the wood door with ornate carvings. âGrab whichever one youâd like.â
Mor sat up straighter, scooting herself back into the pillows behind her. You hummed, impressed, at her ability to hold both her full wine glass and the bottle without so much as a wobble.
You hadnât spent much time with Elain one-on-one. Emissary duties had kept you busy during the years the Archeron sisters had adjusted to their new lives. But you liked Elain, from what youâd seen. She had a kind heart. She also had a sharp humor that surfaced at the oddest moments, usually when she and Lucien were whispering in corners, conspiratorial before seamlessly rejoining whatever social event they were at like theyâd never left.
Elain returned and sat down with her chosen glassâa delicate crystal piece that gleamed in the soft light. Mor went to fill it instantly.Â
âCan I ask why you were discussing Azrielâs romantic life?â Elain asked. Her voice was smooth, certain. No hesitation.
It didnât faze her anymore, you realizedâbeing such a strange, pivotal turning point in Azrielâs past experiences. Sheâd made peace with it, the way immortality seemed to demand. Time softened the edges of even the messiest situations, turning them into stories you could recount with startling detachment. Almost humorous, really.
Because how else could you explain being casual about the fact that your best friend had almost allowed his prideâand arroganceâand, somehow simultaneously, his insecurityâto lead him into a blood duel over Elainâs affections? A blood duel.
But now, it was just⊠something to write off. A distant memory, softened by the years and Lucienâs easy confidence. Lucien was better than you. You wouldâve held that grudge against Azriel for many more yearsâlong enough to make it a point of pride. But then again, Lucien had won everything he wanted in the end. He had the girl, the bond, the certainty that whatever lingering rivalry Azriel might feel was entirely one-sided.
It wasnât important enough for Lucien to waste any more energy on.
You exchanged a glance with Mor, who arched a brow, clearly just as amused by Elainâs openness.
âY/n doesnât like his new girlfriend,â Mor said.
Your mouth fell open. âYou donât either.â
âTrue,â Mor agreed easily. She looked to Elain. âWe donât like her.â
âFor clarification,â you said firmly, âI never said I didnât like her.â
Mor laughed, sipping her wine with an amused grin.
Your face fell flat. âWhat?â
âNothing,â she replied breezily. âBut if you get a bad feeling about someone, thatâs usually dislike.â
You resisted the urge to scowl, already turning over the guilt in your mind. You didnât want to be that personâthe kind who dismissed another female off the bat. Maybe your gut was wrong this time. Maybe her smile had reached her eyes, and youâd been too preoccupied to notice. Maybe her tone hadnât been as assessing as you remembered, and you were projecting. You wanted to like her. You wanted to be happy for Azriel.
But he didnât seem happy. He seemed distracted. Busy. Not himself.
And not the kind of busy youâd seen beforeâthe methodical, obsessive focus he funneled into work or training. This was different, scattered in a way you couldnât quite pin down. It had made sense in the beginning, when things were new and exciting, but now it was starting to feel uncomfortable. Heâd started missing thingsâsmall things at first, like sparring sessions or those late-night conversations you, Mor, and him would have when you couldnât sleep. Then came the bigger things. Heâd stopped being able to review external court updates with you, even when those meetings were critical for your diplomatic roles.
Azriel had always been the one you could count on. Out of everyone, you considered him your closest friendâeven more than Mor, though youâd never admit it out loud. But now it seemed like every time you made plans, Selene needed him more.
And then there was how fast it was all moving. Too fast. At a recent family dinner, sheâd casually mentioned that she and Azriel could move in togetherâoffhand, like it was the most obvious next step. Something about leaving the townhouse behind, creating a space with dĂ©cor that matched her aesthetic. Azriel had just stayed quiet, looked at her like sheâd just proposed the most brilliant idea in existence.
You noticed he did that. The way he looked at her. The way heâd looked at Elain and Gwyn back when they were seeing each other. It weirded you outâthat tendency to put the people he saw as romantic interests on a pedestal, as though they were flawless. As though they were something he didnât deserve.
You knew where it came from. That deep-rooted insecurity that even centuries hadnât managed to erase. He didnât see it, the way he wore himself down trying to prove his worth to people who, for the most part, had already accepted him. But you saw it. You always had.
And it made it harder to like Selene. To trust her intentions. Maybe that was unfair, but you couldnât help but feel like she was just takingâtaking all the parts of Azriel that used to be all of yours to share, and twisting them into something else. Something that didnât include his family.
Still, you wanted to try. To let go of the gnawing irritation in your chest and convince yourself it didnât matter. If she made him happyâtruly happyâthen none of it should matter. You were adamant on ensuring that you didnât turn into the stereotypical overbearing female best friend.
Elain tapped her glass lightly. âLucien doesnât like her.â
You blinked back into reality. âReally?â
She nodded, a beat passing before she added, âTo be honest, Iâm not sure I do either.â
Mor leaned forward, grinning like sheâd been handed a stack of gold. You almost wished Amren was here to bask in the moment. Amren didnât like Azrielâs girlfriend, either. Maybe your family really was as unwelcoming as people claimed. Or maybe Selene simply brought out another level of scrutiny. The thought of either option made you feel badâ gross.Â
âWhy?â Mor asked.
âShe was dismissive toward Lucien. And,â Elain hesitated, her brow furrowing slightly, âShe seemed⊠entitled, I suppose. Especially with Azriel. Like she expected him to accommodate her every whim.â
You frowned, turning over her words. âIâm sure she was just nervous. We can be an intimidating group. Maybe she just needs time to settle in. We just want Az to be happy, right? So, if she makes him happy, then Iâm absolutely fine with her.â
The silence that followed was thick. For a moment, you wondered if youâd said something wrong. Something weird.
âAre you?â Elain asked, her tone sincere.
âAre you?â Mor echoed at the same time, voice dripping with sarcasm.
You shot Mor a glare, but she only raised her brows and sipped her wine again, infuriatingly unbothered. Exhaling, you willed yourself to meet Elainâs gaze.
âI am,â you said, trying for conviction. âReally.â
Elain pursed her lips. Her gaze shifted to Mor, lingering longer than you liked, and then back to you.
âAlright,â she hummed. âI guess I was wrong.â
You stilled. Elain reclined deeper into her seat, accepting a refill from Mor. Her wine glass remained only half-full compared to yours and Morâs.
Curiosity burned. You leaned forward. âWhat do you mean?â
Elain furrowed her brows. âWhat do I mean about what?â
âYou said you guess you were wrong. What does that mean?â
Morâs gaze bored into the side of your face. Any second now, you were sure sheâd make some quip about how bothered you were. But you werenât bothered. Just curious.
Elain swirled her wine, watching the light catch the liquid. âIâm not sure. Things feel off. Like somethingâs coming. Az needs help with it, I think.â
You froze. âOff? Likeâhow?â
She hesitated, thoughtful. âItâs hard to explain,â she murmured, her voice quieter now. âBut I feel it. In my chest. My visions sometimes do that. Thatâs why I asked.â
Well, that unsettled you. You glanced at Mor, whose amused grin had fallen into something more contemplative.
It seemed you might need to have a conversation with Azriel after all.
âI donât like that,â you admitted, your nose crinkling.Â
âI think I heard him get back earlier. Go talk to him,â Mor said, her tone gentler now, though a hint of mischief lingered in her eyes. You didnât read too much into that. Morâs eyes tended to be expressive. She also tended to be mischievous when her blood was primarily red wine.Â
âOkay,â you said. âMaybe just to check in.â
Elain nodded. âJust to check in,â she echoed, almost reassuring.
âHave fun,â Mor added, her grin returning just enough to be annoying, but not enough to distract you from the unease curling in your chest.
You didnât respond, instead taking another slow sip of your drink. The glass clinked softly as you set it down on the table before you made your way upstairs.
After a moment of comfortable silence, Mor turned to Elain. âDid you really feel something that unsettling?â
Elain let out a laugh. âNo,â she said lightly. âI completely made that up. But she doesnât need to know that.â
Morâs lips curled into a slow, wicked smile. Seconds later, her head tilted back in a laugh just as vibrant as it was unapologetic.
âGenius,â she declared, raising her glass in mock salute.
âč ⶠ𧷠â¶âčÂ
The walk upstairs was quiet.
The townhome, in general, was quieter nowadays. Aside from the times others came to visitâlike Lucien and Elainâonly you and Azriel lived here full time.
When you reached Azrielâs bedroom door, your steps faltered for a moment. There was a hesitation in you that hadn't existed before. You raised your hand to knock, but the action felt more awkward than usual. It made you sad, momentarily, that you hesitated. You never second-guessed yourself with Azriel. You wanted to tread carefully in this new era of his life, though. You didnât want to overstep, to become a nuisance. But whatever this wasâwhatever had unsettled Elain enough to mention itâyou needed to know. Azriel had always been a constant for you, and if something felt âoff,â you wanted to understand why.
Your knuckles rapped lightly on the door. âAz?âÂ
Inside, you heard the shuffle of movement, followed by his low, familiar voice. âCome in.â
You didnât see Azriel immediately, but the smell of soap and the damp air told you that he recently showered. Shadows slithered across the floor, comfortable and excited, exploring the familiar confines of his room.
You greeted the tendrils as you usually did, letting them brush against your legs as you flopped onto his bed. The bed, like everything else in his room, was simple: plain black sheets, no extravagant pillows, just the bare necessities. It used to drive you mad, the emptiness of it all. But what was in his room spoke volumesââ bare walls except for a dagger mount on one side, a small uncluttered desk with a well-worn sharpening stone.Â
Azriel exiting the bathroom pulled your attention, your eyes settling on him as he rubbed his wet hair thoroughly with a towel. He shook his head slightly, wet curls bouncing onto his forehead, and met your gaze. His eyes flicked to where you lay, scanning your body. He nodded toward your feet.
âCâmon,â he almost whined. âNo shoes on the bed.â
You looked down at yourself, grimacing as you realized that your shoes were, indeed, on his clean comforter. A simple set of house slippers, so nothing entirely too dirty, but it had completely slipped your mind. Very comfortable shoes, you noted, maybe youâd get Feyre a pair as a solstice gift.
âOh whoops,â you said with an apologetic smile. âMy bad, clean freak.â
He rolled his eyes, but you caught the quirk of his lips anyways.
For a moment, the old sense of comfort settled over you. But then, a thought crept inâthe thought that maybe you shouldnât lie on his bed like this anymore. It had been fine before, but now⊠now it felt different. He had someone else in his life. It wasnât weird, exactly, but it was a little inappropriate.
You sat up straighter.
âDid you and Mor grow tired of rehashing the same centuries old gossip?â He teased.
You snorted, watching as his shadows flitted above his shoulders. They were amused, laughing in their own way. âNever,â you responded, pushing yourself off his bed. You were drawn to the otherside of his room, to the simple dresser against the wall. âElain joined us this time.â
Your back was to him, but you had a feeling that the momentary silence, the stillness that you felt, was a knee-jerk reaction from Azrielâsomething reminiscent of embarrassment, shame, or guilt at her name. But all he responded was, âOh?â
âI like her,â you said, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. âI kinda wish I spent more time with herâŠâ
You paused, your words trailing off quietly as you took in the small details before you.Â
Azrielâs dresser had always been the one surface he decorated, not because he cared for decoration, but because it was the only surface large enough to hold anything. Over the years, it had become a quiet testament to the things that mattered to him: a mix of Solstice and birthday gifts, trinkets youâd both collected on missions and trips. You liked seeing what had changed, what had been added. It gave you a glimpse into where Azriel had been, who had been with him.Â
Lately, there had been moreâmore trinkets, more oddities that stood in stark contrast to the weapons displayed elsewhere, the ones mostly hidden away in his closet. A macaroni necklace from Nyx. A horribly made clay version of him youâd created during a drunken pottery night with Feyre, Mor, and Amren.
But now, the dresser was foreign. The once familiar surface had been wiped clean, replaced by delicate perfume bottles, jewelry that looked too fine to be his, and a candle that smelledâoddlyâlike the puke of a flower faerie. Some of it was new. Most of it was hers.
Azrielâs presence had vanished from his own furniture entirely.
âHuh.â
âWhat?â Azriel asked.
You glanced over your shoulder. âI see youâve decorated more.â
Azriel tilted his head, and a few of his shadows slithered down his body, crossing the room to pool around your ankles. âI guess,â he said. âSelene said my room needed more life.â
You leaned forward, brushing your fingers along the ceramic jewelry dish, the cool surface sending a strange chill through your skin. The shadows flickered over your hand, almost as if they were inspecting it too. They moved with purpose, then slowly obscured it, hiding it from view.
You frowned, confused.
Azriel, still silent, was rifling through his closet. You could feel the weight of his eyes on you as he moved, but he said nothing. The shadows returned to his side as you turned to look at him.
"Are you going somewhere?" you asked, trying to break the silence.
Now, Azriel barely spared you a glance.
âYeah. Meeting Selene,â he replied simply.
After a few seconds of silence, Azriel turned his head and properly held your gaze. âWhy? Everything okay?â
âYeah, yeah,â you responded with a casual wave of your hand, but Elainâs words echoed in your mind. You cleared your throat. âWell, actually, no. I was hoping I could talk to you.â
He frowned, standing up straighter, his wings flexing with the motion. âIs it something serious?â
You paused, carefully filtering through your words. âNo, just something thatâs been on my mind.â
Azriel studied you, doubt flickering in his hazel eyes. It was the kind of look that always made you feel like he was reading you too easily. He probably didnât believe you, not entirelyâbut he nodded anyway. His lips curved into a small, apologetic smile. âRaincheck then?â
You mirrored his smile, though it felt thin. âYeah, sure. We can talk tomorrow, once weâre back from the Hewn City.â
Azriel stilled. The way his gaze dropped to the floor and lingered felt like a guilty dog, an animal caught in an act forbidden. âShit,â he said, his tone cautious. âI canât go.â
You blinked, the words taking a moment to settle. âSeriously? Az, Rhys is expecting an update.â
âIâm sorry.â He sounded sincere enough. It didnât matter. âBut you can handle it on your own, you know this.âÂ
âAre you serious?â you said, the hurt slipping out before you could stop it. âI donât want to deal with Keir alone.â
Azriel sighed, running a hand through his hair. âIâll talk to Rhys, but Seleneâs been wanting toââ
âNever mind,â you cut him off, shaking your head. You forced a smile. âHave fun tonight. And tomorrow.â
Azriel scanned your face. After another moment of silence, he sighed.
âOkay, what is it?â He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. âYou clearly have something on your mind. Tell me.â
You hesitated, holding his gaze. âI actually wanted to talk to you about Selene.â
Azrielâs jaw tightened instantly. He looked away, his tongue running across his teeth as he shook his head. âNot you too. Donât be like this.â
Your frown deepened, offended by the immediate shift in tone. âBe like what? I havenât even said anything yet.â
He met your eyes again, his stare almost challenging. âWe both know what youâre going to say.â
âDo we?â
âFirst Mor, then Nesta, and now you.â His voice was sharp, but not loud. âShould I be concerned that the females in my life are so quick to rally against my girlfriend?â
You scoffed, crossing your arms to mirror his pose. âWell, yeah, Az. Maybe you should be.â
He rolled his eyes, the shadows at his feet flickering with the motion. âFine. What do you want to tell me, then?â
For a moment, you hesitated, the words lingering on the edge of your tongue. Azriel had always been good at looking through you, unraveling thoughts you hadnât fully formed yet. And now, under the weight of his sharp gaze, you felt exposed.
âI just want to make sure youâre happy.â
Something flickered in his expression, quick and fleetingâtoo fast for you to decipher. For the first time in a long while, Azriel felt unreadable, like heâd drawn a curtain between himself and you. âReally?â he asked, his tone tight, almost incredulous.
You faltered, a small thread of doubt weaving its way through your resolve. Was he happy? Would he even tell you if he wasnât?
âYes, really,â you replied, a defensive edge creeping into your voice. âYouâve been distant lately. Running around at her beck and call. None of us know her. I want to understand whatâs going on with you. I want to understand her.â
Azrielâs wings shifted again, his gaze hardening.
âI want to make sure this is the kind of relationship you want,â you finished, quieter now.
The room fell into silence, heavy and still. Azriel watched you as if he was turning your words over and over in his mind. You waited, unsure of what to expectâif anything at all.
âI wouldnât be in a relationship I didnât want. Can we drop it, please.â
You bit the inside of your cheek. What a strange, dismissive answer. It bothered youâ bothered you more than anything heâd ever told you before.Â
âAz, I just donât want you to change who you are for someone. You donât need to cater to her every whim.â
His expression darkened, shadows curling tighter around his boots. âIâm her boyfriend. I do what she asks.â
You raised an eyebrow, unable to stop the scoff that slipped out. Azriel had never been so clipped with you. âThatâs not the definition of a boyfriend. Thatâs the definition of a bitch.â
Azrielâs jaw clenched, his wings flaring in irritation. âExcuse me?â His voice cut through the room. âDo you really think Iâm some incompetent love-sick loser?â
âI think you stop seeing flaws in the people you love.â
The words hung between you, heavier than youâd anticipated. A small part of you wondered if âloveâ was the word Azriel would use to describe his feelings for her. Another part worried that he didnât correct you.
âThatâs not true.â
âItâs not?â
âNo,â he snapped. âI can clearly see that youâre being unfair. Quick to judge, much like Mor. Thatâs a flaw.â
âOh, please,â you shot back, âYou know what I meant. The people youâre infatuated withââ
âWhere is this sudden concern coming from?â he interrupted, his shadows now beginning to curl between you like restless mediators, unsure where to settle. âAre you trying to cause issues?â
Something ran hot through your body.
âSeriously? Iâm talking to you about this because I care. Because Elain had some cryptic feeling about youââ
âElain is involved in this conversation, too?â His voice dripped with frustration now. âGods, Y/n, should I send word for Gwyn while weâre at it? Get her opinion?â
âWhat the hell has gotten into you?â You took an authoritative step forward. âIâve never judged you. Iâve always tried to support you and your messy love life, no matter how complicated. Donât you trust me, Azriel? As a friend?â
Azriel didnât respond immediately, his shadows flickering uncertainly, still deciding whether to retreat or rise.
You gestured around the room. âLook at this place. Youâve erased all traces of your familyâof you, of us. Where did you even putââ
âOh, gods.â Azrielâs voice broke through, and for a moment, you thought he might crumble. His wings folded, and his hand dragged across his face, the weight of his exhaustion sinking in. âShe was right.â
You froze. âWhat?â
Azriel met your gaze, his eyes hesitant for a heartbeat before turning sharp. âAbout you. Selene said you were jealous. That you had feelings for me.â
The words hit like a slap, and your world tilted on its axis. âWhat?â you asked again, your voice breaking on the word. Maybe you had misheard him. Maybe he had misspoken.
âI told her she was wrong. But nowâŠâ He let the sentence hang in the air, searching your face for something that maybe wasnât even there.
âNow, what?â Your voice rose, tinged with anger. âYou think Iâm here because Iâm jealous? Because I have some⊠crush on you?â
His wings flared slightly at your tone, but he didnât back down. âI donât know. Itâs justâwhy else would you care so much about this?â
Your stomach twisted, a deep, cold ache settling there. âWhy else?â you repeated, the words bitter on your tongue. âBecause I care about you, Azriel. Because youâve been my friend for centuries. Are you seriously confused about this?âÂ
For a moment, Azrielâs expression faltered, but he didnât apologize. Instead, he said, âI didnât ask you to care about my love life.â
âYou didnât have to,â you snapped, stepping closer. âThatâs what friends do. But youâre standing there, letting her perception of meâsomeone who doesnât even know meâwarp your judgment. Youâve known me longer than that. Or at least, I thought you did. And the fact that youâd entertain thisââ You stopped, shaking your head. âItâs insulting.â
Azriel said nothing. He just stood there, shadows now curling tighter around him.Â
You had no idea how this conversation had gotten away from you, no idea how it turned into thisâwhere this defensiveness, this anger, had come from. This wasnât Azriel. Loyal, overly so. Impulsive. Protective.Â
Or maybe it was. Maybe that loyalty was directed at someone else nowâsomeone who clearly saw you as something threatening. Youâd never been on the other side of Azriel before. Never thought youâd see the day. The realization hit like a slap to the face, leaving you shocked, stunned, a pit opening in your stomach that felt too deep to climb out of.
âYou know what? Forget it.â You stepped back, the fight draining out of you all at once.
Azrielâs brows furrowed. âReally? Thatâs it?â
You glanced at him over your shoulder, your lips curving into something that might have been a smile if it werenât so bitter. âYeah,â you said, your voice flat. âThatâs it.â
You turned for the door, hand on the handle, but paused. The words were out of your mouth before you could stop them, sharp and pointed, a petty jab that felt equal parts satisfying and hollow. âMake sure to lock this door when you leaveâIâd hate to accidentally stumble back in and throw myself at you.â
Azriel stiffened, his wings snapping taut behind him. For a brief second, you thought he might say something, anything. But he didnât.
You closed the door behind you with a heavy thud.
âč ⶠ𧷠â¶âčÂ
authors note: no one tell them they probs have feelings for each other bc theyâll probably fight you (also elains moment is so self indulgent bc i would totally be making shit up based off my powers. like yeah actually you canât be mean to be :/ powers are saying youâll die if you are)
part two? đ lmk if you wanna be tagged
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âHOW CAN I LOVE WHEN IâM AFRAID TO FALL?â
âI fell in love with you as soon as I saw you, as soon as you covered me from my father, as soon as I heard your laugh, saw the amazing mother you are, and realized I never wanted you to leave this house.â
pairing: CEO! satoru gojo x f!reader
summary: to your almost regret, your life as a single mother seems to be weighing more and more heavily on your worn-out shoulders. so what could be better than pretending to be the CEOâs girlfriend of the business you work for, knowing that his father is the general manager?
warnings: +18 only, smut, nsfw, her daughter is called hinata, fake dating/single mom tropes, angst, mother insecurities, fluff, readerâs ex is a jerk, unprotected sex, sex (p in v), overstimulation, pussy drunk (satoru), nipple play, fingering (f!receiving), oral (m), this fic is (really slightly) inspired from the french book âun printemps pour te succomberâ by morgane moncomble, including therefore small similar dialogues, (pls guys learn french only to read this masterpiece!!), fanart by @/ilameys on twt.
wc: 10,154
âCan I taste the frosting?â
Your lips curve into a smile. âOf course, angel.â You crouch down and hand the spatula coated in pastel pink frosting to your five-year-old daughter. Her little fist wraps around the handle, and joy spreads across her angelic face like rays of sunshine. âSo? How is it?â
âItâs so good!â she exclaims, and you chuckle.
âIâm glad you like it.â You glance at the clock in your kitchen. âIâll put the frosting in the fridge. While the cake bakes, go back to playing, and Iâll call you to help decorate the cake as soon as itâs ready, okay?â
Hinata nods, blowing you a kiss that you return after a moment of surprised hesitation, your lips forming an âOâ. Amid delighted laughter, she skips away, and you turn back to face the bowl of cake batter.
Why does it have to be so hard?
Every birthday, you hold back tears because who said âsingle momâ doesnât rhyme with âbaking your own birthday cake so your daughter can sing to youâ? But what hurts more â this, or seeing your flesh and blood envy her female friends who have their dads in their arms and their mothers content with their families?
The silence of loneliness can sometimes be louder than company.
âHappy birthday! Happy birthday, mama!â your daughter sings, clapping her hands as you blow out your candles in the warm, yet dimly lit, living room. âCome on, come on! Letâs eat the cake!â
With a knife, you cut two slices, one for each of you, and it only takes a few more minutes for both your mouths to be covered in pink frosting, with laughter echoing in the room. The heartache, briefly chased away by the short-lived joy, returns later that night when your daughter snuggles up in your arms in your double bed, which seems to be missing something.
Fuck, being a single mom is tough, you think as you wipe away the tears flooding your cheeks with the back of your hand. No one to support you, all the responsibilities fall on your shoulders, and now doubts about your daughter start invading your mind: âWhat if she blames you later for not having a father?â, âWhat if she thinks youâre a bad mom?â, âDo her friends at school say anything about you being the only unmarried woman among all the parents in her class?â
These thoughts have never stopped, not even during your pregnancy, whether about the weight gained or lost, or the changes in your body. Are these regrets? But how could you regret bringing such an angel into the world? Maybe itâs more about the lousy partner who left you the second he found out you were pregnant.
Probably the second option.
°°°
âWHERE IS MY SON?!â
A male voice thunders across the entire floor of the company. You jump, turning to one of your colleagues over the small partition set up for employee privacy. âWhoâs yelling like that?â you whisper, eyebrows raised in surprise.
âI heard itâs the new general managerâŠâ
Your frown deepens. âIs that why they handed me the summary of our sales figures to drop off at the office upstairs?â To prove your point, you lift the massive stack of documents.
Your colleague presses his lips together, his eyes widening in a way that already gives you the answer. âOh God, youâre the one in charge of that? Good luck. Itâs to be delivered to the new director.â
A sigh escapes your lips.
For a start to the workweek, it seems youâre about to face the stormy mood of the new boss, who apparently brought his kid to the office. What a perfect beginning.
As usual, the upper floor is deserted, as itâs generally reserved for executives with direct ties to the companyâs CEO. Few people take the elevator to reach the top floor of the skyscraper. Arriving in the lonely hallway, it should be a simple task to knock on the bossâs office door, drop off the elephant-weight stack of documents, and leave.
So why does the sound of running footsteps seem to be getting closer and closer behind you?
In a flash, a man dressed in a navy blue suit rushes past you, bumping your shoulder. He nearly topples the threatening stack of papers, but you manage, at the last second, to catch everything before you lose your balance. The young man opens the door to the womenâs restroom, and before entering, he glances over his shoulder.
Never in your life have eyes made such an impression on you.
Two cerulean blue orbs lock onto yours with a mischievous aura. A smirk tugs at the corner of his thin, pink lips. From his pale skin to his albino hair, the man exudes charm and beauty from every pore. The sheer allure of his appearance leaves your brain too stunned to react, numbing it. How can someone be this handsome?
âSATORU!â
His serene and amused expression vanishes instantly, and you jump in response. Replaced by an exaggerated look of fear, he addresses you, âCover for me. If he asks you, you never saw me!â And his tall, slender body disappears into the womenâs restroom.
More footsteps echo down the hallway, this time from a second man, just as tall and physically similar to the young man you just encountered â though slightly older, with wrinkles lining his face and a mix of albino hair and silver from age. You have no time to react except to straighten up against the wall.
His blue eyes, more gray and stern, settle on you as he approaches. âDid you see a man? A tall idiot running around and flirting with any woman he sees,â he grumbles the last part, his eyes thoughtfully fixed on the light carpet.
You shake your head robotically. âNo⊠Iââ
âNever mind,â he cuts you off with a dismissive wave of his hand â as if your answer is irrelevant and heâs heard it at least twenty times before. He sighs and scratches at the stubble on his chin. âWho are you, anyway?â
âAn employee, sir.â You gesture to the stack of documents thatâs beginning to make its weight known in your arms. âI was asked to drop this off in your office.â The tone of your voice almost pleads with him to let you in and relieve you of the annoying burden.
âThe report? Ah yes, of course.â You sigh in relief as he unlocks the door with his keys. âI suppose youâre wondering who I am?â
âThe new general manager, I guess?â you reply, raising an eyebrow. You drop the heavy stack onto the desk and exhale deeply. âWe heard you on every floor.â You canât help but chuckle at your own remark, offering the director an apologetic smile.
He rolls his eyes, but a light chuckle still rumbles in his chest. âYouâre right. Itâs because of my son.â
His son?
You repeat the word aloud, confused, and he clarifies. âMy son is the new CEO of this company, and I almost regret my decision to give him that position.â He shakes his head, his gaze drifting toward the blue sky visible through the large window, then refocuses on you. âI apologize in advance. Heâs going to be a real handful.â
âI understand. I think weâll manage to put up with him,â you add with a smile.
In the end, this new boss doesnât seem as strict as your colleagues have been saying, and his story about his son is more amusing than anything. You cough slightly into your elbow and clear your throat, murmuring an apology.
âAre you sick?â the director inquires.
âA little,â you admit reluctantly, feeling embarrassed as you adjust the mask on your face. âSorry. I couldnât stay home.â
âNo problem.â He crosses his arms over his chest and sighs. âWell, I think I have some work to do. See you later, I suppose.â
You donât hesitate to leave the bossâs office and quietly step into the womenâs restroom. âIs⊠someone here?â you murmur in a hoarse voice.
The creaking of a door answers you, and the general managerâs son emerges from a stall, looking cautious. He looks like a little boy checking to see if his hiding spot in a game of hide-and-seek has been discovered, which makes you stifle a discreet giggle. He turns to you and offers an apologetic smile. âSorry about earlier. I didnât hurt you, did I, sweetheart?â
The nickname catches you off guard, and warmth floods your face. âN-No, Iâm fine. Youâre the new CEO, right?â
âSatoru Gojo, at your service, pretty girl.â He winks, a reminder that heâs quite the flirt.
You introduce yourself in return, running out of things to say, your hands nervously clasped by your sides.
âPretty name,â Satoru murmurs. He closes the stall door behind him and exhales, shaking his head. âPhew! That was a close one! Thanks again!â He strides toward the exit with one last charming smile in your direction, leaving the restroom and a lingering scent of cologne behind him.
°°°°
âWhy arenât you answering?â
âDamn it, youâre so annoying with this!â
âThereâs no point in moving every few months, Iâm going to find you.â
âFor fuckâs sake, answer my messages! I told you I need you! I swear Iâll help you raise Hinata this time.â
âI made a mistake, so let me fix it by answering my fucking messages! I know youâre reading them!â
You swallow hard, your throat tight, and press the âblock this contactâ button on your phone. Itâs the fourth time this month. Heâs been harassing you with messages and finding a way to contact you no matter how many numbers he uses, even when you change yours. The same goes for your address, as apparently changing apartments is no longer enough to escape him.
You know heâs in debt â one of the many consequences of his excessive gambling, even when you were still in a relationship with him. Smoking, drinking, and of course, downing tobacco like it was water, only to charm you while hiding this lifestyle to get you into his bed, then fleeing the moment you were pregnant.
So now that he needs a woman and a child to escape his debts, heâs reaching out to you â the woman he abandoned after promising marriage (without a ring, of course), got pregnant, and deserted, only to come crawling back to you.
âMama? You okay?â
Your daughterâs concerned little voice pulls you out of your daze. The cartoons playing on the TV havenât had the desired effect â theyâre not distracting her from the anxiety thatâs been gnawing at you day by day. Maybe today, itâs showing enough for people to notice?
âIâm fine, angel,â you reassure her with a perfect smile â perfectly fake, because thatâs something youâve learned to anchor over time.
You pat the empty spot on the couch next to you, and she nestles under your arm. âIf you say soâŠâ Hina murmurs, clutching her worn-out bunny plush.
The state of the plush catches your attention, and a pang of guilt stabs at your heart. What kind of mother lets her daughter carry around a stuffed toy in such poor condition? Maybe you are a bad mother? Otherwise, why would Hina deserve such a pitiful situation? She deserves so much better than youâŠ
âLittle angel?â you murmur as she wraps her tiny arms around your waist and nuzzles into your belly. âAre you okay?â
âI love you.â
And the three little words sound⊠unreal.
Hot tears blur your vision, and it takes every bit of strength you have to whisper back, âI love you too, Hina.â
°°°°
3:00 PM.
In less than an hour, youâll need to pick up Hinata from school.
Normally, you avoid lingering at work. You go through your usual routine as an employee, nothing special or fun â a hello, goodbye, see you tomorrow to colleagues without worrying about whatâs happening around you or the gossip, even when it involves coworkers getting together.
The only change: now itâs you who gets stuck with the task of delivering all the documents to the general manager. According to one of your peers, he doesnât seem to be strict or threatening when it comes to you. So this time, youâre tasked with delivering an additional file about the production of a new product on the market to both the CEO and the general manager. For the second time, you head up to the highest floors of the company headquarters to knock on the CEOâs door â itâs the closest. But no one answers.
No surprise, since the directorâs son spends his time running through the hallways to avoid his father and shirk his responsibilities, right?
Youâre about to knock on the Directorâs door, but a familiar gust of wind brushes your face with a soft, fresh breeze. Satoru Gojo appears beside you with a charming smile and glances at what youâre holding.
âH-Hello, sweetheart. How are⊠you?â he greets, slightly out of breath from yet another chase with his father.
âIâm fine. Here.â You hand him one of the folders, and he takes it, pretending to read it. âThe next meetingââ But he grabs the second document and, before you can react, opens the door to his office and casually tosses them inside before shutting the door.
âSATORU GOJO! KEEP IT UP, AND IâLL DISOWN YOU!â The bossâs voice echoes through the entire floor as he appears from behind the emergency exit door. âYOU!â He points a finger at you, standing right next to him. âStill bothering our employees?â He grumbles, his jaw clenched so tightly that you can hear his teeth grinding.
âThatâs not true, father!â Satoru protests, feigning outrage. He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you closer. âYouâre chasing me while Iâm just saying hello to my girlfriend?â
You freeze, turning your head toward him, as lost as the Director, who squints his eyes. âYour girlfriend? Since whenââ
âI was going to tell you,â Satoru continues, shaking his head, his fingers squeezing your waist while you remain paralyzed. âHereâs my new girlfriend.â
âAre you lying to me and dragging some poor woman into your childish games?â
In the back of your mind, you note that he doesnât seem to recognize you despite the last time you saw each other.
âWhat? Iâm telling the truth! Isnât that right, sweetheart?â And he leans in to plant an affectionate kiss on your cheek.
Your heart almost stops for a second. But you quickly snap back to reality under the insistent embrace of his arm and his hand around you. âY-YesâŠâ
What kind of mess have you gotten yourself into?
âWell, if youâll excuse us, father, my darling and I are in a hurry.â He leads you away before you have time to protest and heads toward the elevator with you.
Once the doors close, Satoru takes your hands in his and leans toward you. âI can explain everything.â
If his cerulean blue eyes hadnât been so persuasive, you would have exploded right there and then to yell at him.
You, the girlfriend of the CEO of the company you work for? Did this really have to happen to you? You can already picture your termination letter under your nose as you exit the back of the building. A glance at your watch tells you that if you donât hurry, youâll be late to pick up your daughter.
âYouâre in a rush?â
âI have to pick up my daughter before Iâm late,â you reply curtly, âand look at the mess Iâm in now!â
âI know, I knowâŠâ Satoru rubs the back of his head, right where his immaculate undercut is. âMaybe I can explain on the way? Whereâs your car?â He looks around the parking lot, his eyes searching.
The question â however mundane â makes you blush with embarrassment. âI⊠take public transportationâŠâ you mumble, pouting.
He furrows his brow, as if you just admitted to showering with maggot-infested soap. âExcuse me? I donât take public transportation.â
âWell, I do.â A hint of defiance returns to protect your pride.
How could he possibly understand when he lives like a rich man, without worrying about grocery shopping, paying bills, and of course, taking public transportation during the week to avoid wasting gas because it costs an arm and a leg! But for him, that must not be part of his daily life, especially since heâs one of societyâs privileged.
âLetâs take my car then.â He says this without waiting for you, as you remain standing there. He pulls out his keys and opens the passenger door. âWhat are you waiting for?â
âButâ Iâ Are you out of your mind?â you burst out. âIâm not getting in that car! Iâm supposed to pick up my daughter, and now Iâm pretending to be your girlfriend! In front of your father!â You emphasize your words with wild, energetic gestures.
He bursts out laughing.
Cute.
âNo chance. Weâre going to pick up your daughter and clear this all up. And please, stop refusing to get into a car thatâs way better than those buses that reek of sweat.â He rolls his eyes, and you note how much he resembles his father when he does that.
âI have an errand to run anyway,â you persist.
âAnd that doesnât change the fact that I want you to get in this car,â Satoru chuckles.
Taking a closer look, the car is as luxurious as the ones you dream about at night â yours, by comparison, looks like a junk heap ready for the scrapyard. Reluctantly, you climb in, Satoruâs chivalrous demeanor not going unnoticed as he snickers at your surrender. He quickly gets in, asks for the address of the school, and sets off after starting his car, which smells just as good as he does. You feel like a piece of trash in the middle of this little universe he inhabits.
âMy father bugs me every day to find a woman,â Satoru murmurs at first, one hand resting on his thigh, clad in business suit trousers, his eyes fixed on the road over his round sunglasses. âThatâs one of the reasons I avoid him.â
âAnd why involve me?â you snap back.
âWell, to be honest, it was partly impulsive. I met you the other day, and then, in the moment, I just wanted my father to leave me alone.â He has a half-smile that makes you swallow hard, and he gives you a knowing look before returning to a serious expression. âIâm sorry for dragging you into all this.â A pause. âI just hope youâre not married, otherwiseââ
âNo, Iâ No.â You close your eyes for a moment, the innocent question burning like a fiery arrow piercing your already aching heart. Did you just hear a sigh of relief? âAnd your father doesnât seem to have recognized me since the other day,â you canât help but point out.
âThe mask.â Satoru grips the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white. âHe didnât recognize you because of that. Heâs always had a bad memory and poor eyesight.â
âBut you recognized me.â You focus on the roadâs scenery to avoid confronting his mesmerizing eyes. âIâm not going to wear my mask forever, you know? And I donât want to keep pretendingââ
âPlease,â Satoru whispers, placing a hand on yours, sending a shiver down your spine. âJust until he and my family get off my back.â
âIâm sorry, butââ
âHow much do you want?â He asks immediately, as if he just remembered something.
âWhat? No! I donât want your money!â you protest as quickly as he did. âNo, IâŠâ And you groan, sinking into your seat.
Holy shit!
âWhat have I gotten myself into, seriouslyâŠâ you moan, crossing your arms over your chest, a grimace distorting your features.
âPlease. I know itâs a lot to ask, but Iâll do everything to make it just a minor detail⊠Iâm only asking you to change your name in front of my father when you pass as my girlfriend, wear a mask, and change your hairstyle at work â if we want to avoid suspicion. He wonât suspect a thing, I swear.â He pulls into the school parking lot and parks quietly.
Thoughts bombard your already exhausted mind, and you massage your temples. Why does this have to happen to you and no one else?
Satoru murmurs your name, making you lift your head. âIt will only be a few family events, just for appearances, nothing more. I wonât bother you any further.â
You sigh, and the sound of the bell signaling the end of classes rings out. âI need to think about it. Thanks for the ride. Have a niceââ
âCome back. Iâll take you home,â Satoru suggests, pressing the button to unlock your door.
Whatâs the point of refusing?
You nod, finally getting out of the car to go pick up your daughter, who runs toward you as soon as you reach the gate.
"Mama!" She jumps into your arms.
You return her embrace, heading towards Satoruâs car. âDid you have a good day?â
âSo much fun! I made you a drawing!â Sheâs practically bouncing as you reach the car.
Noticing your daughterâs confused look, you clear your throat. âUh⊠A-A friend of mine is giving us a ride home, okay?â She blinks innocently and waits for you to open the car door, which is almost as tall as she is. Hinata gets in as you do, and you cough slightly. âThis is Gojo. My friend.â
âHello, princess.â Satoru turns his head over his shoulder with a big smile. âWhatâs your name?â
âHinata,â she replies, her legs gently swinging.
âVery pretty.â
âThank you.â She blushes and tries to hide a smile.
On the way, you try to fill the awkward silences with small talk until you arrive at the supermarket.
You had promised to buy Hinata a new stuffed animal since last night after spending hours worrying that you werenât being a good mother. Again.
âThat one!â Hinata almost runs towards a bunny plushie thatâs twice the size of her head. She grabs it with her little arms and gives it a hug.
Satoru and you reach the aisle, and out of habit, you check the price under the albinoâs watchful eye. Your eyes nearly pop out of their sockets when you see the amount, and you place a trembling hand on Hinaâs shoulder. âAngel, I think itâsââ
ââŠPerfect,â Satoru finishes, his large hands taking the plushie from your daughterâs tight embrace to check the price tag with its shocking number. âDo you like it, little one?â he asks, looking down at her.
Hina nods energetically. âYeah!â
âThen weâll take it.â Satoru hands the plushie back to her and turns towards the checkout lane, already reaching into one of his pockets for what looks like⊠a wallet.
You react immediately, your hands finding their way around his arm. He doesnât push you away at all and even smiles at the contact. âGojo⊠No.â
âItâs Satoru to you, sweetheart,â he whispers gently. âAnd why not? Itâs just a stuffed animal,â he scoffs. He takes Hinataâs hand so she can place the plushie on the conveyor belt.
âNo, itâs not nothing to me,â you persist through clenched teeth, embarrassed that the cashier might be paying attention to your conversation.
Satoru shrugs. The cashier scans the plushie, and he uses contactless payment to pay for it. With your hands still around his arm, he places one of his on top, an intimate closeness.
âI could get used to this,â he murmurs near your ear, making you turn beet red. But he canât continue as your daughter clings to Satoruâs leg like a koala, showering him with a thousand thank-yous for the gift. âYouâre welcome, little one.â His hand gently ruffles her hair. He grins, now turning back to you. âItâs on me. You donât owe me anything.â
Your discreet protests, so Hinata doesnât suspect anything, come to an end when he drops both of you off in front of your home. Hinata commented that Satoruâs car looked like the one from the movie Barbie: Princess Charm School she had seen recently. He unlocks the doors as you get out of the car. Satoruâs hand catches yours, slipping a piece of cardstock into it. His contact details are on it.
âJust in case,â he mouths silently.
Nevertheless, you slip the business card into your pocket and respond just before closing the door, âI accept.â
°°°°
âAnd no funny business, okay? Never run in the hallways, if he tells you to wait, donât move an inch, andââ You stop yourself as you notice your daughter is more interested in admiring the elegant decorations of the office hallways with wide, doe-like eyes and an adorable, slightly open mouth.
To your great misfortune, Hinataâs preschool is on strike for a while â which means almost all the teachers are absent. So how do you take care of your daughter when you canât afford to miss work? By bringing her to your fake boyfriendâs office, of course! You quickly make your way toward Satoruâs office, Hinata following with her hand in yours. But just as you raise your fist to knock on his door, two large hands land on your shoulders, nearly scaring the life out of you.
âHey, hey!â You whip around abruptly, a new mask on your face â just as the plan intended.
âSatoruâŠâ you grit through your teeth. Hinata looks up at him and grins. You sigh.
âWhat do I owe the pleasure of all this lovely company?â Satoru asks, not taking his eyes off yours while giving Hinata a high-five.
As usual, heâs dressed in a luxurious suit â probably worth the rent of the apartment you live in â his slightly tousled albino hair and the familiar scent of cologne filling your nostrils. You catch yourself staring a little too long, and mentally kick yourself when his curious gaze turns mischievous.
He just realized you were checking him out, damn it!
âHinataâs school is on strike. I need you to watch her for the day, if thatâs not a problem, and since you seemed so insistent on returning the favor Iâm doing for youâŠâ you mumble, avoiding his gaze. âI see youâre spending your day roaming the offices rather than staying in yoursâŠâ
âNo problem at all,â Satoru replies automatically, a pleased smile on his lips. âReady to go to the CEOâs office?â He picks up Hina, who giggles and clings to him like a koala.
Itâs your turn to smile in relief. âThank you so much. I have a meeting with your father in an hour, and Iâll come get her at noon and again at the end of the day.â The sight of the two of them close together makes your heart melt â and for once, you donât blame yourself for seeing Hinata happy to be with someone else.
°°°°
5:00 PM.
Youâve sent a message to Satoru asking where he was, since knocking on his perpetually empty office seems to be pointless. The meeting with the other company members about organizing the launch of a new product was particularly painful, but one thing is certain: the general manager didnât recognize you with your more subdued hairstyle and the mask plastered on your face.
âCome to the parking lot like last time.â
And thatâs the last message from Satoru (you gave him your number during lunch).
In the empty parking lot, only Satoruâs car is present, and you cast a curious glance through the windows. The two troublemakers give you a grimace â tongues sticking out and faces scrunched up. You sigh as the passenger door opens automatically.
âSatoru, you donât have toââ
âHina said yes and that she wants to come to my place,â Satoru cuts in with a mocking expression.
Reluctantly, you get in, your heart pounding in your chest with all sorts of panicked thoughts. However, Satoru doesnât seem to share your reservations and starts driving as soon as youâre settled.
âSo, this means youâre coming to my place,â he says, hands on the wheel and a quick glance in the rearview mirror, âand Iâm inviting you to dinner.â
âNoââ
âMom! Please, Satoru is being too nice.â Hinata complains. You glance back, and she looks at you with wounded, pleading puppy eyes, arms crossed over her chest.
You grumble, slumping back against your seat as they both cheer in victory.
âBy the way, Iâm stopping by your place so you can pack. Weâre invited to a family wedding, and my father invited us.â
âWHAT?â
°°°°
You place a box with your gift on the designated table for presents, and an arm wraps around your waist. âYou look stunning,â Satoru murmurs against your neck, his lips brushing against your skin, which breaks out in goosebumps.
With a flushed face, you turn your head. âSatoruâŠâ
âWhat? Just because weâre pretending to be a couple and barely know each other doesnât mean I canât speak the truth.â He pauses. âWell, actually, we do know each other a bit, donât we? Weâve had dinner together.â He chuckles at your half-grimacing, half-deadpan expression, pulling you closer as music fills the wedding reception hall.
You turn your head along with him toward the back of the room, where the brideâs bouquet is about to be thrown. A tight smile curves your lips â this is one thing youâve dreamed of. Dreams have always been just that â dreams in your life, and even when love comes knocking at your door, itâs only passing through, just like your situation with Satoru.
His father didnât notice anything, and since Satoru lives alone in a villa, itâs hard to say no when he offered for you to stay with him until heâs settled, with your own room and a staff available 24/7. He even had a tailor make a custom dress for the wedding you were both invited to. Hinata is looked after by a lovely nurse, and youâre enjoying a life youâve always dreamed of. So why not make the most of it despite your past?
A Satoru whoâs too comfortable with you isnât so bothersome given the time youâve spent together lately â both at the office, acting as a couple in front of certain people, and sometimes showing affection to each other to appear believable, even though they havenât asked for kisses yet, soâ
A fluffy and soft object lands right in the middle of your face and falls into your arms. You search for what seems to be a petal in your mouth and suck in your breath at what you realize it is.
The brideâs bouquet.
A gulp forces its way down your throat as the whole room applauds because⊠youâve been hit in the face with the bouquet? Not to mention the lamentations of other female cousins who had jumped with all their hopes to catch it⊠But why you, who hadnât asked for anything?
âSweetheart?â Satoru mutters, his chest still pressed against your back. His tone is so sweet, nonchalant, as if youâve been a couple for years. âMy father is watching us, and I think heâs expecting me to do something.â
You swallow and nod, dreading what might happen next. Will your heart stop beating when Satoru says:
âMay I kiss you?â
Never, ever, has anyone asked you that question. Not even your ex.
So, with a nervous nod, you allow him to capture your lips in a soft, languid kiss. His tender lips taste like the cotton candy children eat at the fair. They cherish yours with every movement (which you canât help but return in kind). Each press sends butterflies fluttering in your stomach.
When the kiss ends, Satoru places one last kiss on the corner of your lips and clears his throat. âThis is the first time Iâve wanted to marry my girlfriend.â His warm breath ignites your body.
Has your heart exploded?
If not, why canât you breathe?
âAwww⊠How adorable you are with your pretty girlfriend, Satoru!â
An elderly woman approaches you both, supported by her old cane, and you note her albino hair, similar to Satoruâs.
âMy dear auntâŠâ Satoru smiles widely without breaking away from you.
âYou make a lovely couple,â Aunt Gojo continues, giving you a wise look.
âOh, thank you.â You immediately bow and introduce yourself. Satoruâs hands squeeze your waist, and he chuckles at your manners.
âTake good care of her, you idiot,â the aunt finishes before drifting away, a tap of her cane on Satoruâs head making him sigh and rub his sore skull.
âWell, at least we look convincing, right?â he adds.
âYesâŠâ
Of course, he said that because he saw his aunt before you! Donât think he said it because he meant it orâ
âBy the way,â Satoru takes your hand in his and leads you to the center of the dance floor, âI meant what I said before my aunt interrupted us.â
And youâre at a loss on how to interpret his playful wink.
°°°°
âWOW! Hinata, youâre so rich!â
âIs this your dadâs castle?â
Hinata takes Satoruâs hand and faces her friends in his chic living room. âItâs my daddyâs!â She nods proudly and runs off with them toward the games and festivities organized for her birthday. The children run everywhere, scream, and burst into laughter throughout the room. The perfect atmosphere.
Itâs exactly what youâve always dreamed of giving Hina.
âYou didnât have to do this,â you murmur to Satoru, who, despite your comment, shakes his head joyfully.
âIâm glad she likes it,â he replies.
âI wasnât talking about the party.â
He freezes and turns his head toward you. âDidnât you tell me youâd never been married?â he dares to whisper, possibly afraid of hurting you.
âThatâs true. My ex left after learning I was pregnant with Hinata.â You exhale the breath youâve been holding, the weight of the secret finally lifted.
Maybe he wonât want to keep pretending to be your boyfriend after thisâŠ
âYou can still tell me his name, you know, sweetheart?â Satoru moves closer to you, wrapping his arm around your waist, as if itâs completely natural for him, but thereâs a tension in his touch. âI can take care of him andââ
You shake your head to dispel the tiny bit of resentment thatâs urging you to say yes. âItâs okay. Thanks for agreeing to pretend to be her father. I know itâs going to be a bit of a hassle for a while, but she cares a lotââ
âNuh-uh.â He places a kiss on your cheek, then another on the side of your neck, causing you to shiver. âSheâs already talked about it in my office.â
You open your eyes wide. âWhatâŠ?â
âHinata likes you much more than you think⊠Youâve suffered too much,â His other hand glides over your stomach, and his thumb traces affectionate circles on your waist.
âThank you,â you breathe, leaning into his touch. And for a moment, the weight on your shoulders completely lifts. âWe havenât had the best birthdays recently, so Iâm happy to see Hinata get what she wants.â Your eyes rest on your daughter, dressed as a fairy, waving her glittery wand at one of her friends dressed as a witch. âSo, thank you for everything.â
âNo need to thank me, sweetheart. But which birthday are you talking about? Yours? When was it?â
Embarrassed, your mouth feels dry. â...A while ago.â
Satoru pulls you tightly against his chest, wrapping his strong arms around you, his nose buried in your hair. âYouâre such a strong woman⊠I can take care of you if you want. You and Hina will live like princesses, and if you want to sleep with her or have your own room, thatâs no problem for me.â
âWhat? No, Satoru, youâre jokingâŠâ
âIâm not joking,â he insists, his gaze diving into yours â and for a second, sincerity fills his cerulean eyes.
With your mouth slightly open, you whisper, âWe barely know each other, andââ
âMama! Papa! We need to break the piñata!â Hinata rushes over to you, not paying any attention to how close you are to Satoru, and grabs each of your hands.
âYes, angel, weâre coming,â you respond to your daughter with a weary smile, before glancing at Satoru, who is no longer looking in your direction.
Why are his ears so red?
°°°°
You place the last birthday decoration box in a corner of the living room as Satoru asked and straighten up with a grimace from your aching back. âGeezâŠâ
The upper floor of the huge house is strangely quiet, and you furrow your brows. Could they have gone downstairs?
âHinata? Satoru?â you call out as you walk through the hallways.
The evening darkness makes it hard to see clearly, and only the faint beam of light escaping from the kitchen door guides you.
âAre you there?â you ask, gently pushing the door open, and what you find leaves you stunned.
âHAPPY BIRTHDAY!â the two of them exclaim, holding an enormous cake between them.
A few candles illuminate the underside of their beaming faces, party hats perched on their heads. The kitchen is a huge mess, counters covered in flour and frosting, and dishes overflow from the sink, threatening to topple over.
You stand speechless as they continue to sing your birthday song. Your nostrils and eyes start to itch strangely. Why is your vision suddenly blurring? It looks like transparent waves just above your lower lashes, threatening to overflow if you dare to blink. Yet, you canât escape it.
Not when they set the cake on the table and pull you into a hug while your nose runs, tears roll down your cheeks, and your choked-up throat is on the verge of bursting into sobs. Satoru keeps kissing your hair, never stopping for a second to comfort you with sweet and reassuring words, his hand drawing circles on your back. Hinata wipes your tears while her own roll down her little cheeks.
Seeing you cry has always been contagious for her.
The moment gives you a glimpse of what your life would be like if you had a complete family, and Satoruâs words echo in your mind. How could he be so perfect in just a few weeks of knowing him?
Once the emotion passes, a few minutes later, you eat your birthday cake with laughter and cheer, accompanied not just by the one person who now means everything to you, but by both.
°°°°
âWatch out, Hina. You have applesauce on your chin,â Satoru chuckles, his hand grabbing a napkin to wipe the excess food around the childâs mouth.
The heartwarming scene makes your heart swell. You definitely donât regret going out with Satoru and Hinata to have a meal at a chic terrace in their company. The family atmosphere finally gives you a glimpse of the life youâve always hoped to live. Hinata growing up with a loving father and mother, and you, loved and supported by an ideal partner. Why not reconsider Satoruâs proposal, then? Heâs the first man to think of you, even after your birthday had passed some time ago.
âIâm going to the restroom,â you murmur to Satoru, who nods in response, a wry smile curling his pink lips.
But why did it have to be on this day that a man finally approaches the two people you care about just as you slip away? He clearly waited from afar for you to let your guard down around your daughter so he could show up right in the middle of the table, facing a little girl â his daughter, technically â next to a man who isnât her father.
Satoru slowly raises his head toward him, brows furrowed and wary. âCan I help you?â
Your ex says your name. âWhere is she?â he mimics asking as if he didnât know.
âWhat do you want with her?â
âTo talk to her. I have the right. And youâre with my daughter, just so you know.â He crosses his arms over his chest, trying to appear threatening, but Satoru remains stoic, more contemptuous than anything else in the face of such a scruffy, unshaven nuisance.
âSheâs not here; you can leave,â Satoru responds. And out of protective instinct, he pulls Hinataâs chair closer to him, his eyes narrowed. Satoru understands perfectly that your ex is back to claim his rights over his daughter, just as heâs been harassing you with messages about it.
âExcuse me? When my daughter is in the arms of a stranger? I could call the police immediately and weâll sort this out very quickly,â your ex retorts sharply. He takes a step toward a lost Hinata, her big doe eyes blinking innocently between the two men. Of course, she doesnât recognize him.
An altercation begins between the two, which naturally attracts the attention of other diners around. And you walk into the middle of the scene, frozen in shock at the sight of your ex hurling threats at Satoru.
âSheâs taking my daughter, so Iâm taking her back! And itâs not a bastard like you whoâs going to help her regain my rights!â your ex spits with venom. His icy eyes find yours, terrified, your hands trembling and your complexion as pale as a sheet. Heâs about to address you with the same angry speech, his face flushed with rage and a vein ready to burst at his temple.
Do you get déjà vu?
ââYour daughterâ?â Satoru repeats with a deadly gaze and a jaw quivering with rage. âSheâs been sitting next to me for over an hour, Iâve been feeding her for over an hour, sheâs been calling me by my name for over an hour, and youâre talking about âyour daughterâ? At this point, whose daughter is she... yours or mine?â
Your ex, publicly humiliated, opens his eyes wide with hatred. âYou little son ofââ
âSir, we ask that you leave the terrace; youâre disturbing our customers,â a security guard declares firmly. Heâs accompanied by another colleague, and when your ex protests, they grab him by the arm and escort him away amidst his shouting and the murmurs of other customers who keep staring at the three of you.
You move closer to Satoru, who immediately stands up upon seeing you â having not realized you were there â and can only offer you an apologetic look. âLetâs go,â you silently mouth (your throat too tight to dare let a sound escape, fearing it might break before you say anything), taking the hand of a silent and lost Hinata. âIâll pay the bill andââ
âItâs already taken care of; we can go,â Satoru gently interrupts, following you to his car.
And itâs on the silent drive back that you realize something.
Youâve officially fallen in love with Satoru Gojo.
°°°°
âLook, Mom, Dad and I made a drawing for you!â Hinata proudly holds up a colorful picture with three easily recognizable characters on it.
âDid you brush your teeth?â you ask as you take the drawing to admire it, just as much smiling as your daughter. She nods and then does a little twirl to show off her new pajamas that Satoru gave her earlier in the day. âItâs beautiful. Youâre so talented,â you chuckle, leaning in to plant a kiss on her cheek.
Satoru appears in the doorway of Hinataâs room, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed over his chest, a perpetual playful smile curving his lips. âReady to go to sleep?â
âYes, and I showed our drawing to mama,â Hinata asserts, bouncing on her bed.
âOh yeah? Did mama like it?â Satoru asks softly, his eyes now locked with yours.
âMama loved it and thanks Daddy,â you whisper, your voice quivering with emotion that threatens to spill over.
Half an hour later, Satoru and you find yourselves in the hallway with a sleeping Hinata and her little lullaby snores.
Satoru wraps his arm around your waist as usual and buries his face in your neck. Your heart is already racing, and your breath catches when he says, âIâm sorry.â
âWhy?â The embrace is a simple hug but with unspoken words easily guessed.
âFor everything.â Satoru sighs, and for a split second, you hope heâll let you speak, but no. âI didnât mean to make a scene andââ
âAnd you think Iâm going to blame you for protecting us? That I wasnât touched by what you said about Hina?â you mumble near his ear. The closeness gives you another chance to see his ears turn red. âIs Satoru shy?â you giggle, open to teasing. He hums, hiding his face so you donât see his expression.
âI love you.â
You blink, because you must have heard wrong. âHuh?â
âMarry me.â And heâs already on his knees before you, eyes pleading. That usually confident cerulean blue is now so submissive, so close at hand⊠But the sudden turn of events leaves you stunned. âI want to be your husband, not just have you as my wife. I want to raise Hina with you and give you everything you need.â Not letting himself be distracted by your stunned expression, he continues, âWant my money? Iâll give it to you. My house? It will be in your name. Want my body? It belongs to you. My heart? Itâs already yours.â And he starts kissing the backs of your hands desperately. âI love you, I love you⊠Please, marry meâŠâ
âSatoru⊠Youââ you stammer, backing away, your brow furrowed. Everything is a jumble in your head, both from his touching declaration but also because itâs all moving too fast for you. âYou⊠love me?â you manage to whisper.
He crawls to you and wraps his large arms around your thighs, almost choking with desperation. âI fell in love with you as soon as I saw you, as soon as you covered me from my father, as soon as I heard your laugh, saw the amazing mother you are, and realized I never wanted you to leave this house.â He whispers your name like a divine invocation. âIâve fallen in love with you more than just once.â
You donât immediately respond, and thatâs okay in his eyes. He doesnât want to pressure you, just for you to know the truth and for him to be completely transparent with you.
âItâs okay if you donât share my feelings; I just want you to know thatââ But heâs cut off by your rush toward him on the floor as you press your lips to his, pulling him into the dance of your lips that one gives to the other in a long, passionate kiss. âGod⊠I love you so muchâŠâ
âI love you too, Satoru,â you murmur against his mouth between kisses that turn into moans as he slides his warm, wet tongue between your lips to request access to your mouth.
Both of your breaths become ragged and heavy. Satoru takes the opportunity to lift you by the underside of your thighs and lead you to his bedroom, carefully closing the door behind him without breaking the contact of your swollen, desirous lips. He gently lays you on the king-size bed with silver satin and frost-blue sheets.
With a tenderness of loving slowness, Satoru breaks the kiss. âDo you want to continue?â he asks, his voice husky. You nod timidly, but he shakes his head with his mischievous smile â finally back. âNuh-uh. Your words, sweetheart.â
âI want it, Satoru,â you reply after a sigh of exasperation so adorable in his eyes that it makes him laugh, then he places a light kiss on the corner of your lips.
âAlright⊠Gonna take care of my beautiful girl, the best, the most wonderful mother, and maybe future wifeââ He places a finger on your lips. âOh no, youâll answer that later if you want, when I have something concrete for that occasion.â
You sigh in frustration because the answer is already on the tip of your tongue, but it soon turns into a moan as he kisses the side of your neck with such deliberate slowness that you really wonder if heâs going to tease you to the limit. His hands roam over your clothed chest, exploring your already hardened nipples. His lips find their way to your collarbone, marking it with love bites and hickeys that elicit muffled moans from you.
âIf you knew how long Iâve dreamed of doing thisâŠâ Satoru comments with a touch of affection, his fingers deftly undoing the buttons of your shirt. âExactly how I would act with my wifeââ
âAnd your father?â And he chuckles again.
âWe donât care about him.â He casually tosses your top aside to tease your sensitive, erect nipples through the fabric with his thumbs. âSuch humble underwear⊠Would you like me to buy you something more daring?â he purrs, pulling on a strap to snap it against your gooseflesh-covered skin.
âWould you do that?â You bring your lips to his, and he immediately responds to the kiss. You also remove his black turtleneck sweater to reveal his toned, muscular torso. An adventurous hand glides over his chest, making him groan slightly, and then stops at his lower abdomen where a vein runs lower down. You place a kiss there with a small, sly smile.
For the first time, youâre about to make love with someone.
âHmm? Satoru? Have you ever thought of me in outfits like this?â Your nimble fingers unbutton his pants, revealing a prominent bulge in his fly.
âSweetheart, donâtââ he hisses between his teeth from the sensation of the slight friction between his erection and your eager fingers as they pull down his pants to caress and rub his dick through the thin fabric of his boxer. âYour hands feel so goodâŠâ He breathes softly, his hands stroking your bare arms with a feather-light touch.
âAnswer my questionâŠâ you purr, your nails pulling at the underwear to free his hard, twitching cock. The tip is perfectly reddened, with veins coursing along its pale length of 8 inches. Almost automatically, your mouth waters, and you waste no time kissing the slit of his already glistening tip with pre.
âBabe, donât teaseâŠâ Satoru closes his eyes and lets your hand wrap around his length, begging to be touched. âF-fuckâ Yes, yes, Iâve thought about it, about buying you the most expensive and luxurious lingerieâ ah!â he almost whimpers. You take a little over 2 inches of him into your mouth to stroke the base. âBut also in those maternity clothesâ oh god⊠C-can you really blame me?â He rolls his eyes and canât help but buck his hips toward you, his body pleading for your mouth to take care of him.
You withdraw his cock from your mouth to whisper, âSo youâre a naughty boy, hmm?â
âI wonât last if you keep this upâ hgnnâŠâ he whimpers completely, his dick splitting your mouth in two as you take him all in. Your head starts to bob back and forth, and he is so close that he spills moans of your name. âGânna cum, baby, donâtââ
You hollow your cheeks, and the next moment, he cums in your mouth, long, thick ropes of his release filling your already full mouth with his shaft. You hum under his orgasm and swallow slowly. You slide his dick out of your mouth with the same rhythm to smile at a Satoru with ears as red as his cheeks.
âF-fuck, sweetheart,â he pants, his calloused finger wiping away the mixed cord of your saliva and his cum with a swipe of his thumb.
âM-hmm⊠You taste so sweetâŠâ He doesnât let you continue and crushes his lips against yours, tasting himself on your mouth. âI want you, SatoruâŠâ
âIâm yours, princess.â He helps you quickly remove your remaining underwear so that youâre completely naked in front of him, knees resting on the expensive mattress. He kneels at the foot of the bed, and his fingers explore your sensitive, already dripping cunt.
âSo wet for me⊠Did I do this to you just with my cock?â His fingers spread your swollen folds to gather your fluids and rub your throbbing, needy clit.
Your nails dig into his arm as you lift your hips under the sharp pleasure. âSatoru, it feels goodâŠâ you gasp in a whimper. His forefinger and middle finger spread your wetness all around your intimacy. âPlease donât teaseâŠâ
âNot tease? Werenât you doing it, sweetheart? What a nerve,â Satoru scoffs, tapping his finger at your entrance. âCan I?â
âPleaseâŠâ You wince as you move your hips down for more. And thatâs exactly what he does, immediately inserting his finger into you, cursing.
âYouâre so fucking tight⊠and so wet,â he curses, his finger moving in and out of you with careful softness. âI can already fuck you without making you cum first.â He stops finger-fucking you and looks up at you. âIs that what you want, love?â
You nod before arching your back on the bed. Satoru climbs onto the mattress and helps you wrap your legs around him. âThatâs itâŠâ He takes his length in his hand and teases your responsive cunt with the tip to get it wetter.
âDonât tease, Toru, I swearâŠâ And he smirks.
âToru?â
âSorry, Iââ
His tip presses against your tight, pulsing entrance, and he grins. âI want you to moan that nickname while I fuck you, âkay?â He grips your hips to pull you closer to him, and with one swift movement, he slides into you, a groan escaping from behind his lips as your deliciously tight, warm, gummy walls wrap around him as if you were meant for him.
The stretch causes a slight discomfort at first, and you almost cry in relief when Satoru notices. He patiently waits for you to adjust before starting a slow, deep rhythm inside you.
You widen your lustful eyes, tears forming at their corners. âAh! Toru⊠Jusâ like thatâŠâ Your eyes roll back as the tip of Satoruâs dick hits the back of your cervix, making you shiver and tighten around him. âFuck⊠sâdeepâŠâ
âSo fucking perfect, so fucking mine,â Satoru groans, his hips rocking into you without ceasing to swell between your gummy walls. His chest rises and falls in a breath as ragged as yours, asking for more every time you moan for him to go deeper. (He discreetly rolls his eyes and babbles incomprehensible words â completely pussy drunk.)
And thatâs exactly what he does. He slams back in brutally, making you cry out his name with each thrust. âShhh⊠You donât want Hina to hear us, right? So keep quiet, babyâŠâ He helps stifle your gasps and moans of pleasure by capturing your lips with his, alternating between fast, rough thrusts and slow, gentle ones in your hole that he fucks shamelessly.
Blood rushes to your ears, a rare sensation you havenât truly felt the last time you were with someone. It wasnât just about carnal pleasure between Satoru and you â but about love. The fusion of bodies loving each other and providing mutual pleasure, even as they burn for each otherâ physically and emotionally.
One of Satoruâs hands slowly slides to one of your breasts and teases a sensitive nipple. The arch in your back encourages him to detach his mouth from yours to capture the other nipple with his wet lips. The growl he lets out sends a wave of intense shivers through you, making your eyes roll in overstimulation.
âP-please, Toru, please, Iâm already close,â you whimper against your trembling palm â a feeble attempt to contain your sweet sounds as he speeds up his hip movements in your sloppy cunt â the sound of his balls slapping your skin filling the room. Your words are punctuated by the tightening of your walls around him, swearing he could cum inside you just from hearing you beg.
âCum on my cock, baby, cover it,â he coos, giving another kiss to your abused chest. The clenching of your jaw with your teeth dug into your lower lip forces you to groan. âWant me to fill you up?â And you nod, tears showing your imminent orgasm. âAnything for you, my beautiful girl.â His hips slam against yours, and his fingers continue to tease your breast, rubbing your puffy clit.
Satoruâs own breath becomes heavier, more labored as he keeps singing praises while you gasp, his lips pressed along the line of kisses heâs placing down your jaw. âT-Toru, Toru, cumming!â you cry out as your walls spasm around his cock while he reaches his peak and fills you with his hot, liquid release, warming your lower abdomen. You see blinding stars illuminating your vision.
He hisses almost gutturally, his nails digging into the flesh of your hips. âOh god⊠S-Squeezing me while Iâm cumming tooâŠâ He closes his eyes for a moment, letting his peak subside at the same rhythm as yours, his forehead damp with sweat resting against your chest.Â
Only pants and groans escape your lips, each one accompanied by difficult swallows and the feeling of your sweaty bodies pressed against each other.
âHow was it? Did I make you feel good?â Satoru asks immediately, once his breath has returned.
The concerned questions touch your heart so deeply that you lift tearful eyes to him. âAre you going to leave, after this?â
His expression falters, and he gently withdraws from you to envelop you in his embrace. âNo, baby, of course not⊠I wonât, I swear on my life I wonât leave you⊠Iâm not him. Iâm the one who hopes you wonât leaveâŠâ he whispers hurriedly. âDonât think about that. Iâll always be here, for you and for HinaâŠâ
You sniffle, your eyes red. But Satoru smiles tenderly, wiping away your hot tears. âSave your tears for later, sweetheart.â
âWhy?â You clear your throat.
He sighs, the aftermath of the effort from the activity settling on him, and places a chaste kiss on your sweaty temple. âDid I tell you that my father invited us to dinner tomorrow night?â
âNo,â you shake your head, âbut whatâs the link?â
âDonât you understand?â he murmurs in your ear, butterflies fluttering in your stomach. âIt doesnât matter. Youâll understand in time.â
°°°°
âI see. So it was an unexpected encounter.â Gojoâs father nods, shrugging his shoulders. âBut I wonder how a woman like you can have feelings for such a foolâŠâ
Satoru chokes on a piece of meat heâs chewing and takes a sip of his water. You stifle a giggle, with some steamed vegetables speared on your fork, just waiting for you to devour them. For a man who appears so stern and strict, Mr. Gojo is quite a wealthy man who spends his days reprimanding his son for not doing this or that.
Yet, thereâs a certain paternal camaraderie between them â a father-son relationship, if you will.
âThatâs not true,â Satoru retorts, his voice still gravelly. He has an adorable pout on his lips, like a child wrongly scolded.
âYes, like youâre not a womanizer,â his father retorts, rolling his eyes.
âIt was so youâd leave me alone,â with furrowed brows, he wears a mischievous smile at his fatherâs incredulous expression, âbut sweetheart came into my life,â he continues, looking at you with a tenderness he has rarely shown.
âI hope you manage to put up with him until⊠well, until you decide to marry â if thatâs what you choose,â his father sighs, turning his attention back to the dish in front of him.
âSatoru isnât a bad person, you know,â you start gently. âHe is certainly a thoughtless brat with grotesque immaturity,â Satoru almost spits out his water this time, and you continue with a wry smile, âbut he has a great sense of attention and unmatched generosity. I believe he will be a good husband, I assure you.â
âI must admit,â he says with a wise smile, his wrinkles less pronounced.
Satoru casually says your name, âYeah, yeah⊠By the way, could you pass me the salt, please?â
You freeze, while Satoruâs father suddenly looks up with an incredulous expression. âWho?â
And you smack your forehead with the palm of your hand.
°°°°
The cries of a newborn fill the room as, breathless and on the verge of fainting, the midwives congratulate you, bringing your second child wrapped in clean blankets at your request.
âHeâs beautifulâŠâ Satoru murmurs as he approaches you, leaning down to the tiny baby with his albino hair and blue eyes â his exact likeness. âThank you, my love, thank you, thank you, thank youâŠâ His voice breaks as you raise a weak, exhausted hand toward him, but with a serene smile on your lips as you whisper how much you love each other.
He immediately wraps his fingers around yours, your wedding rings sparkling as they brush together like stars sealed for eternity.
a/n: how i love desperate men, hihi! đ€ hope you all enjoyed this one-shot!
tags: @ssetsuka @zara-zara11 @bearwithmoo @elliesndg @lymsfm @mutsu422 @whathappenedtobees @drippymcdrippison
#[azra masterlist]#[dividers by @/saradika]#satoru gojo#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x y/n#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo fanfiction#satoru gojo smut#satoru gojo angst#satoru x reader#gojo x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru#gojo satoru smut#gojo smut#jjk fanfiction#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fanfiction#jujustsu kaisen x reader#gojo angst#gojo fluff#gojo x reader#jjk smut#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru fanfiction#gojo satoru fluff#jujustu kaisen#gojo x reader smut
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FANTASIZEâŠ
old!logan howlett x fem!reader
*mdni
cw: cursing, nsfw, age gap (reader is twenty-five)
wc: 1k+
a/n: i have no idea where this came from. i was supposed to be working on something completely different but apparently, this needed to be written first instead. yes it is inspired by the unreleased ariana grande song.
â± âââ â
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âââ â°
Logan couldn't read minds. He never longed for the ability or power; he was better off not knowing what others had going on in their heads. He only wanted to peek into someone's mind when he caught your twinkling eyes lingering in his direction. Luckily, he could still read your mind even without the mutation because your fantasies were written all over your face.
It was obvious to anyone caught in the same room as you and Logan, that there was tension. You burned holes all over his body with your intense gaze. If Logan was in the mood to entertain your little crush, he could compliment you in a way that was sure to make you blush.
"Good form today, kid."
"Lookin' pretty today, sweetheart."
"Lemme fix that lipstick, dollface." That one left you with an ache in between your thighs as his thumb brushed your lower lip. "Can't have you walkin' around here a mess, now can we?"
Logan wasn't sure if he would ever make it to heaven but seeing your lip tremble with need was close enough for him.
If he saw you in a dress with a pair of mary-jane's, he would try to catch a glimpse of your underwear in the reflection of your shoes. It didn't always work but it made him feel young again.
No one was brave enough to address it due to him being twice your age. Despite being twenty-five years old and already having graduated from the school, it was still considered taboo to some. If anyone asked Logan about it, he would brush it off as a schoolgirl crush that you would eventually grow out of.
It was truly harmless he thought. You got the attention you craved and Logan got to see a pretty young woman squirm in her seat because of him. It never went further than flirtatious comments and lingering stares.
âŠ
Today might be the worst day of your life. You and Logan were being sent out together on a mission to find a mutant that lived two hours away. It wasn't the mission that worried you; it was being stuck in a tiny car with only Logan for one hundred and twenty minutes.
"Why aren't 'cha talkin', dollface?" Logan asked, almost teasingly.
For almost twenty minutes, he was aware of your eyes watching his hand hold the wheel. Logan was also incredibly aware of the effect it had on you. A little broken sigh escapes you when his hand clenches tighter around the leather, making his veins pop even more.
"Too busy fantasizing 'bout me?"
No matter how much you tried to find someone your age to be with, your heart always went back to Logan. He treated you differently than anyone you've ever met. Sure, sometimes he made you feel like a kid but he also knew you could handle your own. Logan wouldn't let anyone underestimate you; that kept you crawling back to him.
"Maybe I am." You shrug, fed up with his games.
"Oh, yeah?" He says, taking a deep inhale of your sent. "What's goin' on in that pretty head of yours, hm?"
You were used to Logan's overly confident personality that he tried to use to intimidate you; and make you stumble over your words. It wasn't gonna work this time. Logan wanted you just as much as you wanted him, but you needed him to admit it first.
"Us in the backseat of the car." You admit, biting the inside of your cheek nervous for his response.
"Really? And what are we doing back there?" He asked, cocking his head curiously as his eyes remained glued to the road.
"You're on top of me, makin' me feel good." Your words were coy but that was the point. Logan liked being the tease; having all the power.
"Keep talkin', dollface."
There it was. You had him right where you wanted him.
You pretended to think about it for a moment before shaking your head and telling him, "No, I shouldn't"
"Why not?"
"Because an old man like yourself can't keep up with me, right? At least that's what I heard you tell the Professor."
Logan couldn't believe you had heard their conversation earlier this week. The Professor was the only person who knew the truth of how Logan felt towards you. When Charles asked him what was stopping him from pursuing you, all Logan had to say was, "I'm too old for her; can't keep up with such a young thing like her".
Which was far from the truth.
"So obsessed with me that you're listenin' to my conversations now?" He growled, pulling the car over.
"Stop acting like you aren't obsessed with me too." You smile at him. "I know a few pairs of my underwear 'mysteriously' disappear from my hamper. I know that you can hear me through the walls late at night, panting your name."
With each sentence, you inch closer to him. Logan could only compare you to the snake in Eve's garden; encouraging him to give into his temptations.
"I also know that you want me." Your eyes were dark with desire, making his pants tighter. "So, if you can't get it up or claim that you don't want me then that's fine with-"
Logan fumed with irritation and lust. Not thinking twice before slamming your lips into yours. He tasted exactly like you imagine; tobacco and mint. You were addicted; no one could ever compare to him.
In a rush, his rough hands pulled you into his inviting lap before one cupped your jaw and his other made its way up your skirt, toying with your lacy underwear. He wasn't going to give it to you that easily.
"L-Logan, please," You moan against his mouth, trying to create some friction on his lap. "Need it."
God, he's waited a long time to hear that; to see you so desperate in his arms. When he pulled back to look at you, Logan couldn't be more pleased with the image in front of him. Your eyes shut tightly, face scrunched, trying to concentrate, and lips pouty with annoyance. Logan removes his hand under your skirt; causing the prettiest whine to escape you. He thought you might be what finally kills him.
"We aren't done, sweetheart." He groaned in your ear. "Get in the backseat because you are gonna tell me every single one of your fuckin' fantasies."
#james logan howlett#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#hugh jackman wolverine#logan howlett smut#deadpool and wolverine#logan x reader#wolverine angst#wolverine x reader#logan howlett angst#wolverine smut#wolverine#logan howlett imagine#wolverine fluff#wolverine x you#wolverine one shot#logan howlett fluff#logan wolverine#logan howlett x you#logan howlett fanfiction#logan james howlett#logan#x men#old man logan x reader#x men comics#marvel#marvel cinematic universe#old man!logan#mcu#marvel movies
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UKIYO ⧠jeon Jungkook
summary: itâs the start of summer and thereâs nothing better than dipping your toes in the sand and falling for a local boy who plays beach volleyball in his free time. heâs charming in a way youâve never seen and you seem to understand each other better than one could imagine. both stuck in an awkward time of self discovery, you try to live in the moment and forget about your worries till they become too hard to ignore.
The Japanese word ukiyo (pronounced "u-key-yo") means "living in the moment" or "detached from the troubles of life".
⧠genre/au: summer romance, local beach boy!jk x city girl!y/n, [she/her, afab]
⧠17.7k words
warnings: smut, fluff, âcoming of ageâ but theyâre in their twenties, jk falls first. oral [f receiving]. unprotected bc theyâre literally on a boat. hair pulling. jk is kinda rich boy. oc seems mean but sheâs got mean vibes but just sassy and jk likes it. jk was previously engaged. law student jk. intimate missionary. jk is a volleyball player. think beach town vibes. his ex is kinda stuck upâall his friends are. jk is kinda lovesick puppy who needs aftercare lol
inspired by, Nicholas Sparksâ âThe Last Songâ
songs: tyrant â coldplay, mind over matter â young the giant, left hands free â alt-j, omg â suki waterhouse, sex drug etc â beach weather
â§
For a long time, summer was the only thing to look forward to in the year. The days were longer spent outside enjoying time with your friends and letting yourself sleep in until noon. As you grew older with more responsibilities that didnât suddenly disappear when the temperature grew warmer, you began to lose feelings for the season. It made no difference in your life anymore and you longed for the days it would.
Maybe thatâs why it was so easy for you to drop everything and leave your worries behind. A couple months in the sun, no stress, nothing holding you back.
âI still canât believe I managed to convince you,â Your friend said for the third time in the last hour. You couldnât help but roll your eyes, again, âI still canât believe it either, donât make me regret it.â
Hoseok mocked you using a high pitched voice, turning the Jeep Wrangler into the driveway of a modern beach house, âHow could you regret these next few weeks waking up to the waves crashing on the shore?â
âWhat magazine did you read that off of?â Your friend asked from the backseat, laughing to herself at his expense, âI hate when you talk corny.â
âWhatever, you guys are so ungrateful,â Hoseok jokes, pulling the car in âparkâ and powering the engine off, âNext time Iâll invite someone else to come withâsomeone who I won't have to beg!â
âBoohoo,â You pretended to whine, getting out of the car and racing to get to your luggage first, âYou love begging for me.â
âYou wish,â He says with a scoff, âHurry up and find your rooms, I want to get down to the beach as soon as possible.â
The beach was at its peak time of day where the sun sat the highest and almost every foot of sand was covered with peopleâs belongings. Not far from shore were rows of volleyball courts and crowds of people watching and as much as you wanted to avoid that busy side, it was the way to the boardwalk. You had no choice but to follow your friends in that direction. They were steps before you, already arguing about which store to go into first or what food stand youâll go to but you were distracted by the large Ferris wheel in the back.
Maybe your focus should have been on the matches happening all around you but by the time you realized that it was too late. The white ball barely grazed your side when a tall figure headed straight into you with a loud thud.
A low grunt left your lips as you hit the sand with such a force that it physically ached for a moment. Your hands and face were practically covered in sand it was hard to acknowledge whatever gibberish your assailant spat out.
He didnât have time to get a good look at you as he rushed to his feet, taking your arm and pulling you up abruptly, âShit, Iâm so sorry, Iââ
âItâs fine,â your tone came out harsher than expected and it probably had something to do with the guy who loomed over you, and how embarrassed you felt. Up ahead your two friends were barely realizing you werenât behind them and turning to find you, laughing once they did.
The stranger let his gaze trace over you with sudden curiosity, not at all intimidated by your attempt at a scowl. Now that he was looking at you up close, he had to admit he liked what he saw. He couldnât help but grin nervously, âIâm sorry.â
His smile made you glare as you dusted sand off your jeans, âReally? I canât tell.â
âI⊠itâs just, usually when thereâs a ball flying people tend to dodge it,â he was walking backwards now as you tried leaving, he wanted to face you when he talked and it made his cocky smile all the more unbearable. Youâve just met the guy and he hadnât given the best impression yet. Honestly, youâre just tired from the trip and youâre hungry so you blame that on your mood but you just want to escape this embarrassment of falling.
A scoff left your lips, âAre you saying that this is my fault? Maybe if you all played the game on the court, you wouldnât have run after it.â
You were giving him attitude and yet he didnât back down from returning it with a sweet smile.
âJungkook!â Someone called from behind but the guy didnât bother to even look back at the paused game. Instead he kept up with you, âYouâre right, itâs partially my fault too so how can I make this up to you?â
You stopped walking, looking at him. You didnât know him and he didnât know you so there was no need to hold him up from his game any longer, âDonât worry about it.â
âBut I canât go on like this,â The stranger, Jungkook, said, âNot until I know youâre not mad anymore.â
The way you rolled your eyes excited him in a good way. He wasnât amusing enough for you and it was rare for him not to be.
âJungkook! Come on man, the game!â
âY/n!â Hoseok said loudly, âHurry up, Iâm starving.â
Just like that, the two of you walked away from each other and you had to tell yourself not to look back at him. You didnât want to catch him doing the same before he went back to playing.
âAre you okay?â Hyeri asked, still laughing lightly, helping you shake off sand, âI was going to help you but then I saw you talking to that hot guy and I didnât want to intervene.â
âSo considerate,â you mumbled sarcastically, trying to hide your smile as you walked the steps up to the pier and forgot about whatever was happening on the sand.
The stranger really was attractive, and if he hadnât toppled you over like it was nothing you might have stayed a little longer. When you spotted him below you couldnât help but look him over. He wore a pair of blue and white striped swimming trunks and no shirt which gave you a good look at his muscular back and sleeve of tattoos. Compared to the players around him, he looked noticeably different from the rest and you kind of liked that.
âWhat are we eating?â You asked your friends who shrugged, still indecisive.
Hours after the sunset and Jungkookâs adrenaline from winning began to slowly settle down, he walked along the boardwalk with his partner. The two of them are trying to waste time for a while before their night plans come along.
âI know Yeaun is around here somewhere and if sheâs here then that means Chae-hi isnât far,â Jimin said looking around the crowded boardwalk while Jungkook followed behind lazily, âWhich means a fun night for us so letâs find them.â
He could hear what Jimin was saying but he wasnât truly listening. His attention had drifted away from the conversation the second he looked to the side and found a familiar silhouette in the distance. Well, not too familiar but he recognized it from when he crashed into you earlier.
You were with your friends at some jewelry stand looking over all the handmade bracelets and necklaces, such a short distance from him. He could easily make it over to you in no time.
âI donât really want to see Yeaun,â Jungkook said, eyes trained on you. Jimin groaned in response, whipping back to his friend and shaking his head. He followed his line of sight and jumped in front of him.
âNo, look over here, weâve got plans,â Jimin said hoping to pull Jungkookâs attention away from some stranger, âWe told Chae-hi and Yeaun weâd met them tonight.â
âNo, you have plans, I never agreed to anything,â Jungkook said with a laugh, clearly amused. He tried to see if you were still there but when he looked back you were already walking away.
âDonât be that way, think about me. Your best friend, who has been trying to get with Chae-hi for weeks now,â Jimin begged, making Jungkook sigh with defeat. He didnât say anything as he motioned for Jimin to lead the way and went on with his life.
â§
Thereâs a story about how you found yourself moving into a beach house with your best friends for the summer. The opportunity sort of fell at your feet when Hoseokâs sister had to leave abroad for a couple months because of her job. She lived in a nice house on the beach that would need to be looked after and thatâs when she decided to tell her younger brother about it.
Not long after, he came to you and Hyeri and asked if you wanted to join. It took a long time for him to convince you but when you realized how shitty life currently was back home, there was nothing holding you back.
Your first week has been fun getting to enjoy the warm water and sand between your toes. Youâve gotten into a bit of a routine in the area and youâve begun to familiarize yourself with the roads and places. Thatâs probably why you were doing Hoseok a favor by helping him out today.
Heâs busy taking care of some errands for his sister and asked if you could bring his car into the shop for some maintenance, considering Hyeri liked sleeping past noon, you had no choice but to agree to it all on your own.
âWhat can we do for you?â A guy in a dark gray button up and oil streaks across his hands asked you once you made it to the auto shop.
âJust an oil change.â
Jungkook had nearly forgotten about his encounter on the beach. There wasnât much for him to remember anyway and heâs never been the type to hold onto something so meaningless. He carried on with his usual routine and busied himself away at work.
The shop he worked at was busy all of the time and it was a great distraction from whatever else happened in his life so he truly loved it. He loved getting to work with cars and getting his hands dirty. He worked with people he was friends with and sometimes, if heâs really lucky, someone who catches his attention will stagger in.
When he found you standing in the office with his boss signing papers he was visibly taken back. He had been too busy helping Namjoon take a wheel off a black Sedan, to notice when you came in but he was too late now. You were already finishing up whatever you were doing with Jin and leaving.
âIâll be back,â Jungkook told Namjoon, tossing him the wrench he had been using and heading straight to the front.
You went across the street to the small diner and he had to think about this. Part of him didnât feel the need to see you again, mostly because he was embarrassed by toppling you over and probably how he sounded. Part of him wanted to ask for your name, apologize and try and see if youâll talk to him.
âIâm taking an early lunch,â Jungkook told him without much of a car as he hurried to clock out and leave for the diner.
You sat alone in a booth with your laptop open and scrolling through a website filled with job offers. It was partially out of boredom and a reminder that you needed to find somewhere for when you get back home. You could look for something in the field you used to study in but how far could you get with it?
âExcuse me,â he stood in front of you now, âI donât know if you remember me from a few days ago butââ
âI remember,â you said blandly, looking up at Jungkook with a mixture of boredom and a small hint of possible curiosity. He looked very different with a shirt on, his abs werenât as distracting but he still had an intimidating build. Thatâs why his pretty face surprised you under all that sweat and car grease. He was clearly one of the mechanics and has somehow made his way to you.
âRight, uh,â he swooped in to sit across from you, âI wanted to apologize. I didnât mean to knock you down and sometimes when Iâm playing, I kinda get a little too excited so Iâm sure I was just talking and talking.â
Youâre assuming he meant how he followed after you and smiled so arrogantly when you looked visibly annoyed with him. What you donât get is why heâs apologizing again, you werenât still upset over that.
âItâs fine,â you reminded him with a confused look, trying to read what he was really here for, âYou work across the street?â
âYeah, Iâm Jungkook,â He finally introduced himself, âI saw you earlier and it was time for lunch so I came to talk to you.â
You didnât say anything for a while and the silence wasnât broken until the waitress came and asked what Jungkook would like. He brushed her off with a âWhatever sheâs havingâ and looked at you curiously.
âOkay,â Youâre definitely not from around here because he wouldâve recognized you so just who are you? He cleared his throat awkwardly, âUm, yknow, usually when someone gives you their name you say yours back.â
âY/n,â You said distantly, âCan I ask you something?â
âYes, anything,â Jungkook sat straighter, almost reaching up to fix his hair but stopping himself. He wasnât nervous or anything but youâre not speaking to him with the same flirtatious tone and itâs confusing him.
âWhat are some fun things you can do around here other than the usual tourist stuff?â You asked him suddenly, âYou are a local, I assume.â
âYou assume right,â Jungkook nodded as he bit his lip in thought, âI could always show you better than I can tell you.â
âYouâre a funny guy, yâknow?â You smiled, âBut seriously, what is there to do?â
Heâs pretty sure that was just a rejection so it took him a moment to bounce back from it and tried to catch himself from doing it again.
By the time the car was ready, you were paying for your meal and hurrying to leave while Jungkook ate and enjoyed the last of his break. For the rest of the day he found himself thinking about you.
Heâs lived a very repetitive and predictable life. Since early childhood heâs had the same classmates and friends, and gone to the same places and events. Heâs known the same girls and has hung out with the same people for years. The only time he got any sense of independence is when he was gone for law school but now that heâs done and has returned home for the sake of his family and friends, heâs reminded once again of the repetitiveness.
Maybe thatâs why heâs a little excited to meet someone new. He just had a strong feeling that you were more interesting than you let on and he wanted to know more.
He didnât know that you felt the same and had to ignore these thoughts so you wouldnât start anything with him. Jungkook was attractive and youâve moved on from the fall aside from the slight bruising, and you were just trying to enjoy your time. Did you really need to meet someone?
In all honesty, he didnât seem as arrogant covered in sweat, he looked good and he seemed nice.
But did that mean you wanted to waste your time with him?
â§
It was a crush, nothing but a small, schoolboy crush that occupied his mind from time to time. In all honesty, it was easy to ignore when he got carried away in his day to day life, itâs only when he sees you or you cross his mind for the shortest of seconds, that he finds himself getting lost. He doesnât care for the girls his best friend likes to hang around, nor does he feel the need to upturn himself out there. Lately, all heâs wanted is to be with someone who makes him forget about himself and maybe he wasnât looking in the right places if he thought you could help.
It was wishful thinking for him to hold so much thought over a stranger who couldnât care less to know his name, but thatâs what he liked. He wondered when he would run into you again, what he might say in hopes of getting a response and what would happen after that. He even wondered if youâd be at the beach tonight while everyone told ghost stories and drank bottles of Soju one after the other.
What does he say when he finally sees you looking at him?
You spotted him first, hating how much you wanted for him to look up and see you too. He was with his friends and you had no intentions to approach him but⊠well, he was cute. You canât act like he isnât and heâs oddly charming which makes him memorable but it was a bad idea. This trip was meant to be fun with your friends and thatâs itâyou werenât going to make time for strangers.
âFor once we donât have to worry about an Uber and can walk our asses home,â Hoseok said standing over a keg, âSo I donât know about you guys, but Iâm blacking out tonight.â
âWhen has anything ever stopped you from accomplishing that?â You asked him, turning your back to the familiar stranger, âYouâre never the one ordering it anyway.â
âNo, heâs usually the one weâre pushing into the backseat,â Hyeri joined in on the teasing.
âShh, why do I always feel judged by you two? Is this what friends are for?â Hoseok pretended to be hurt as he filled your cup with beer.
âSheâs not from around here, is she?â Jungkook asked as he looked across at you. You havenât noticed himâhe doesnât thinkâbut heâs noticed you and for some reason that excited him. Well, for one specific reason and it was simply the fact that he likes you. Does he know enough about you to pinpoint this statement? No, but he knows that he feels strange when youâre around. That has to mean something. The longest relationship heâs ever been in was with Yeaun and he doesnât remember feeling this excited to meet someone.
âHow would I know?â Jimin asked when a scoff, barely bothering to look over at you. He couldnât help but roll his eyes, âYou rather think about her than Yeaun? Youâre insane.â
âAre you sure itâs Chae-hi you like and not Yeaun? You sure do bring her up around me a lot,â Jungkook rolled his eyes.
âIsnât it obvious? I want you to get back together with Yeaun so that Chae-hi will think about me instead of her âheartbrokenâ friend,â Jimin handed him a cup of beer, âTake one for the team.â
âNo, I donât think so,â He chuckled, âWe broke up for a reason so donât push it.â
âNot a good reason,â Jimin mumbled under his breath but Jungkook chose to ignore it.
âThere you are,â the devil herself said as she found him, âWe were wondering where you two ran off, right?â
âRight,â Chae-hi agreed, âHi Jimin.â
âSo, itâs kind of boring here isnât it?â Yeaun asked looking at Jungkook for assurance, âPlus all the low lives are starting to come in and I really donât want to be around any of them. We were wondering if you guys wanted to come back to mine.â
âTo do what?â Jimin asked while Jungkook stood back disinterested and distracted. He couldnât even pretend to be interested when he was focused on someone else entirely.
By pure luck, he looked back to see if you were still standing where you were before and this time you locked eyes with him. Without much care for the conversation he was supposed to be in right now, he walked off while they discussed plans involving a hot tub.
âIâm starting to think youâre following me,â Jungkook first said as you nearly bumped into him in an attempt to get closer to the bonfire. He walked alongside you with ease, âFirst, on the court, then at my job and now here?â
That made you snort in disbelief, shaking your head and trying not to smile, âSomeone seems flattered but I think you have it the wrong way.â
âAs in Iâm the one doing the most to run into you? No, never,â Jungkook spoke dramatically, âThis is all by chance. Thereâs no way I couldâve seen you from over there and decided to come and talk to you instead. That would make me seem desperate, wouldnât it?â
âIt would,â you agreed, slightly amused now as you broke into a small smile, âI didnât take you as the type.â
âWell thatâs because you havenât tried to get to know me, Iâm honestly a catch,â Jungkook joked lightly, following you where you walked off to, âOr are you scared?â
âScared? Of what?â You asked, stopping abruptly and turning to face him with furrowed brows. He couldnât help but smirk, âOh I donât know⊠getting to know someone new. You give me the vibe that you donât like meeting new people.â
âI love meeting new people,â You exaggerated childishly, âWhen they donât fall on top of me.â
âI caught myself, so letâs not lie now,â Jungkook snorted, âBesides, whoâs the one who walked into the middle of a game?â
As he said that, the two of you seemed to have drifted far enough from where the fire had been going, that you found yourself not too far from one of the volleyball nets on the shore. Jungkook looked down at you with clear amusement as you looked up at the net and he walked up to the abandoned volleyball that sat in the sand.
âDo you eat, sleep, and breathe volleyball?â You jokingly asked, finally giving Jungkook some response that implied you were interested in him even slightly.
âOnly on the weekends, sometimes around noon or after work if Iâm free,â Jungkook told you, picking up the ball, âDo you play?â
âNo,â you told him as he began to bounce the ball back and forth between his hands. You looked back at your friends who seemed preoccupied with whatever new friends they made for the night.
âItâs easy,â Jungkook said, âThereâs really only one basic rule, donât let the ball touch the ground.â
âAre you giving me a lesson now?â You asked with slight amusement as he moved to the other side of the net, âIâm warning you, I wonât be any good at it.â
âIâll take it easy on you,â Jungkook tossed the ball your way and although you reached out to hit it, you missed and it landed a few feet behind you. He couldnât help but laugh, âOkay, maybe you try and throw it.â
âBut how do I throw it?â You looked up the tall net wondering how you would make it over. You held it up and tried doing a practice hit while he tried teaching you.
âJust try a simple serve, you can hit it from under or throââ
âOh my god,â you broke out into a nervous laugh as Jungkook covered his face with his hand. The ball sat at his feet, completely oblivious to the fact it had just pummeled straight into his face. You covered your mouth in an attempt to stop laughing but you were embarrassed and couldnât do anything but try and laugh it off, âIâm so sorry.â
âReally? I canât tell?â Jungkook said sarcastically, sounding eerily similar to you when you first met but still playful. In all honesty, the pain wasnât too bad but it was humiliating and the only thing he could think about is how youâre trying not to laugh, âYou think itâs funny?â
âNo! No, I donât, I just um,â you tried to stop, âI justâŠâ
âYou just what?â Jungkook looked at you, slowly making his way to your side and you inadvertently began to step back, worried he might actually be upset, âYou like laughing at causing other people pain?â
âDid it actually hurt?â You asked with surprise, still stepping back the closer he got.
âMy ego, yeah,â he joked, âAnd I feel like we need to get even.â
âWe did, think about it as me getting back at you for the other day!â You tried to say, feeling the edge of the ride begin to touch your feet the farther you walked from him.
âReally? So this was all part of revenge?â Jungkook asked, âI donât think so, I suggest you run.â
âWhat?â You stopped to think, âJungkââ
And it began. He kicked water at you once the tide was close again and without thinking, you jumped back. You werenât wearing a bathing suit or anything appropriate for the water so he canât. Youâre in a simple top and flowy, long skirt, not something you wanted wet, âDonât you dare.â
âWhy? Scared of a little water?â He tried to kick water again but this time you moved back in time and he smirked, âItâs better than getting hit in the face. Will you take care of me if I get a concussion?â
You scoffed, laughing, âDonât you wisâJungkook!â
He ran after you as you took off in a jog and before he knew it, you were splashing water back at him, not caring about how wet you got. The night was young and you were having a good time, there wasnât much to worry about other than making sure you got Jungkook before he could get you.
Not far from where the two of you played in the ocean with the moon reflecting against the waves, a few pairs of eyes watched you unimpressed. Jimin didnât have much to think about the matter, he just couldnât understand it. Why would Jungkook waste his time on someone he didnât even know?
Yeaun was right here desperate to have him back and instead heâs wandered off with some stranger acting childish. It doesnât make sense, and neither does the big grin on Jungkookâs face once he caught you and tackled you into the low tide, both getting drenched in water.
âJungkook!â He ignored the call of his name as he watched you shake sand out of your hair with curiosity. You looked annoyed even if you smiled and he knows you probably are considering he pushed you into the water but youâre not cussing him out yet. Youâre not screaming at him for getting you into the water so maybe it was a good sign.
âAre we even now?â You asked breathlessly as you looked forward to where your friends were and turned away from Jungkook.
âI guess, for now at least,â He teased, walking toward Jimin, âIt depends on if I bruise or not.â
âI didnât hit you that hard,â you scoffed, smiling and shaking your head in disbelief. At some point in your ascend back up the shore, Jungkook got you to finally give him your number. You didnât question when his friend approached him, going on about something you didnât bother listening to and turned in search for someone you knew.
âYou look like you need a towel,â someone said from your right. It took you a second to realize she was talking to you, much less holding out a clean towel for you.
âThanks,â you said, trying to wipe off some of the sand with the beach towel the stranger handed to you. Hyeri was off talking with some guy and you had no clue where Hoseok was so as of now, you were on your own here. The girl was pretty and she seemed nice enough so you didnât mind responding to her approach.
âIâm getting sand all over it,â you tried to make some sort of conversation, âSorry, Iâm Y/n.â
âDonât even worry about it, Iâm Yeaun,â She said with a smile, âYouâre not from around here, are you?â
âIs it that obvious?â You asked, laughing lightly. Yeaun just shrugged as she got closer to you, âNot really, but, well⊠thereâs just some people you should always avoid.â
Your brows began to furrow with confusion, âLike?â
âNo, I donât want to start anything,â she shook her head no, âWe donât know each other and youâll probably think Iâm meddling but⊠okay, Jeon Jungkook.â
You didnât say anything to that as you tried to get a good look at the girl. Yeaun was pretty with sun-kissed skin and golden hair that shone under the moonlight. She seemed soft and glowed with a brightness that felt contagious but you didnât know her. You donât know why she brought up Jungkook or why she even approached you so you had nothing to say back to her.
âI just mean⊠youâre not from around here and you seem smart,â Yeaun said sympathetically, âJungkookâs kind of a known player and I donât want you to fall for his tricks, trust me, heâs not worth it.â
âTrust me, itâs not like that,â you said, suddenly disinterested in conversation with her and more focused on finding your friends, âThanks for looking out for me though.â
Yeaun watched you walk away and not bother to turn back and she had to leave like it didnât bother her to be brushed to the side. She canât tell if you took what she said into consideration or if you couldnât care less and she didnât like that. She didnât like that she didnât know you and she didnât know about your relationship with Jungkook or how you know him.
â§
His life was utterly perfect to anyone who thought about it. He had the bestest of friends, the closest family, the most money and a promising future. Everything he had ever wanted was handed right to him and in a sense, it made him arrogant. It was a given that he would end up that way and maybe thatâs why heâs always surrounded himself with people of the like. He didnât despise any of his friends, just sometimes, when he listened to the conversations they would have, he wanted to disagree.
âYeaun said youâve been avoiding her,â Jin said as he pulled a golf club out of his bag.
âGreat, now youâre talking about her too?â Jungkook asked, lining his club up with a shiny white golf ball, âI already get enough of it from my parents and Jimin.â
âWell yeah, when you suddenly call off a year long engagement with someone youâve known all your life, people question it,â Jin said, watching Jungkook swing the club back and shoot the ball into the air, âWeâre worried about you.â
âDonât be,â Jungkook mumbled, âBesides, thereâs someone else, I donât know if you know her, her nameâs Y/n.â
âDoesnât ring a bell,â Jin shrugged, moving his visor down to block more of the summer sun out of his eyes. He wore white golfing gloves and a pair of Raybans, making him look straight out of a country club catalog.
Jungkook sighed, growing more restless by the minute. Heâs only seen you on few occasions and heâs yet to leave a good impression on you where he can ask for your number or something, âShe was hanging out with this guy, I know you know him but I canât think of his nameâyou dated his sister.â
âHoseok?â Jin asked, âI remember hearing about how he was in town. How do you know this isnât his girlfriend youâre hitting on?â
âItâs not,â Jungkook said, âI donât think. I donât know.â
âBut what about her?â Jin asked, hopping in the passengerâs side of the golf cart, âYou donât know a thing about the girl but you like her and youâre willing to throw away your future because of it.â
âIâm not throwing anything away,â Jungkook said with a scoff, âBut whatever, you donât get it.â
He spent the evening golfing on a private course not far from the beach where you wandered around with a book in hand.
You enjoyed passing time with your friends but sometimes, you just needed time to yourself and you would find yourself wandering off on your own without much care for anything else. Your friends didnât mind when you went off and you always made sure to tell them where you would go so there was never any problem. Ever since you got here, youâve been doing things on your own.
âI knew I would find you around here.â
You didnât respond at first, still debating if the person was talking to you, but one look up told you he was. Although you wanted to resist the urge to smile, you couldnât help it.
âStalker,â You said with a small sigh, closing your book. He didnât say anything as he took a seat down in the sand next to you. âYouâre on my turf, remember? What are you reading by the way?â
You glanced at the cover of your book, âNothing excitingâhowâd you know I was here?â
âI looked for a dark, brooding figure and assumed it was you,â Jungkook joked, âAnd just an fyi, my face still hurts.â
âIâm sure you've been hit worse,â You said sarcastically, sitting up and watching him get comfortable. He was dressed in a light color linen button up and shorts, the first buttons were undone and a cliche shell necklace sat perfectly against his collarbone. He was attractive and youâve thought so since the beginning but something was holding you back.
Did you really want to waste your time on a stranger you wonât know in a few months?
âWhat are you doing tonight?â He asks suddenly.
âSleeping, hopefully,â you told him, a small smile when you noticed him roll his eyes.
âItâs the summer, the sunâs out, you live on the beachâdonât look at me like that, itâs a small town. Word gets around when a new person shows up,â Jungkook said with a shrug, knowing itâs him who had been asking about you.
âYouâre just solidifying my stalker allegations, should I report you?â You asked, laughing slightly.
âIâll have you know, a lot of people would love to be stalked by me, you should feel flattered,â He nudged your knee with his.
âWhat? Like itâs hard? Word gets around,â You said to him, âIâve already been warned about getting too close to you.â
Jungkook let his brows furrow as he took in what you said but it didnât take long for it to dawn on him. As much as he wanted to act like there was no way his ex girlfriend would approach you, he knew her too well. Who else would talk down on him? Who else would feel threatened when he ignores them? What does she think she gains from telling you to stay away from him? Isnât it his decision who he approaches and does she think youâre just going to fall in line like everyone else does?
This is the sort of thing that pisses him off. Heâs not a bad guy at all, he doesnât sleep around, he focuses on his goals, he has fun with his friends⊠so why?
âBut if it makes you feel any better, Iâm not very good at listening to what Iâm told,â You finally said, standing up with your book in hand and pulling the sand-covered towel, âAnd Iâm starving, so whereâs a good place to eat around here?â
As much as he wanted to act like the cool guy and seem indifferent, he couldnât help but break out into a grin. Without wasting another second, he got up and motioned to carry your things, âThereâs a good food shack on the boardwalk. I guess I could show you around.â
âIf it isnât too much of a hassle,â You said playfully, handing him your things.
âSo, I want to know, whatâs a big city girl like yourself doing all the way over here?â He asked on the way up, âOr do you still want to play at being mysterious?â
You rolled your eyes, âI don't usually play games like that, I think youâve got me confused with someone else. I just donât talk if I have nothing to say.â
âInteresting take, I personally never know when to shut up,â Jungkook smiled, pointing up to the restaurant and walking in behind you, âBut seriously, usually the tourists come to pollute our water and get away.â
âAre you always so observant? You give me the vibe that you like to watch other people,â You told him, sitting down at a high round table across from him.
âAnd you give me the vibe that you hate talking about yourself. Why else would you avoid every question I ask?â He asked, raising a brow making you scoff but you couldnât deny it. When the server brought out your menus, she made sure to greet Jungkook like old friends.
âDo you really care to know?â You asked quietly.
âWhy else would I ask? Iâm not pretending to be interested, if thatâs what you think,â Jungkook said honestly.
You didnât say anything for a moment, looking down at the menu contemplating what to order and what to say, âThings were getting a little too complicated back home and my friend asked if I wanted to pack up my things and follow him down for the summer and I said yes.â
âHow broad,â Jungkook said with a small smile, lifting a brow and waiting to see if you would add to it.
âItâs the truth,â you shrugged.
âWhat was complicated?â Jungkook asked.
He looked amused when you narrowed your eyes in response to his probing. âAdulting.â
âYouâll figure it out,â Jungkook shrugged, waiting for the server to come back to take your orders. He let you order first, watching the server give you a look as she listened and followed after with his own.
âHow wise of you to say. What about you?â You asked him, handing the menus back and sliding your drink closer to you.
Jungkook distracted himself playing with the wrapper of his straw and shrugged, âWhat about me? Weâll get to me when you give me the juicy details.â
You couldnât help but scoff, looking out the window to the view of the waves crashing against the shore, âWhat? I told you everything.â
He chuckled, âBarely.â
Rolling your eyes, âRude.â
âReally?â He asked, biting back a smile.
âNo. Youâre actually pretty nice,â once again, you sighed, as if admitting that was hard for you.
âNice? Thatâs what you tell a guy when youâre going to reject him. I just want to know more about you but thereâs not much I can go with. How long are you staying?â Jungkook finally asked you.
âA couple months, are you already dreading it when I leave?â You asked, sounding sarcastic and amused.
âMaybe, youâve left an impression despite what you might think. Crushing you under my incredible physique was destiny.â He could tell you wanted to laugh but were refusing to do so.
âCorny.â
âFunny.â He crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back in his chair and making it known that he was going to wait for you however long it took.
âI had this bad roommate situation I couldnât take anymore and my lease doesnât end for another two months so when Hobi asked me to come with I jumped at the chance. I left my job because itâs draining me and I felt useless so I figured itâd be easier to run away to the beach and deal with it all later. Happy? I was honest.â You rushed the words, half-assed the pace.
It was his turn to narrow his eyes suspiciously but gave in, âContent. Youâll figure it out, you donât seem like the type to wait around for things to fix themselves.â
âReally? Because that feels like what Iâm doing right now. Iâm all the way over here where I havenât done anything but run into this strange guy at the beach who I think might be stalking me,â You said, joking at the end.
âNo, right now youâre trying to live in the moment, nothing wrong with that,â he chuckled, ignoring your joke.
You donât remember much of what you said to him but for some reason Jungkook was very easy to talk to. Maybe itâs because you donât really know him or expect anything from him at all but he got you too open up to him like youâve known him for years. In reality you didnât know anything about him or anyone here for that matter.
âOkay, okay, enough about me. Itâs your turn,â you had finally said between mouthfuls of whatever the two of you ordered and Jungkook couldnât avoid it any longer.
âAlright, Iâm⊠also trying to figure things out on my own. Iâm used to being with certain people and doing certain things and I donât know, at one point I kind of got fed up with everything being so predictable. I want to meet people on my own and not because they know who I am or something,â He rushed his words, âIf I could, Iâd move far away from here but right now I donât think thatâs an option so I settle for next best and stick it out. In all honesty, everythingâs kind of been a bore until I met you, youâre different.â
You raised a brow, mirroring his earlier stance and crossing your arms over your chest, unamused, âHow?â
He smirked, âI donât know yet, I can just tell.â
You never believe a guy when he goes on about how different you are from other girls because usually theyâre just full of shit. Youâre not good at picking the right person so it makes you wary to believe anything he says despite how good he looks saying it.
By the time the bill came, the server made sure to sit it without checking if thatâs what either of you wanted but you didnât hesitate to reach for yours. Jungkook snatched the small slip out of your hand and hurried the server back so he could pay for it in full, giving her a tight smile, âJust one check, thanks.â
âSure thing,â she said with a light scoff that had you looking after her with furrowed brows. Something about the way she acted left you feeling confused.
âWhat a good first date.â Jungkook said at the end, walking outside with you.
âThis wasnât a date,â you teased, thanking him for the meal nevertheless, âBut I should probably call it a night, yâknow.â
âOh yeah, me too,â Jungkook shrugged âBut if youâre not doing anything tomorrow night, we should see each other again.â
âHm, Iâll think about it,â You said playfully, âIf Iâm not busy.â
âYou wonât be,â He smirked, bumping your shoulder with his as the walk turned bumpy and more trail-like as he walked you home, âBut why donât you give me your number and we can talk about it more on the phone.â
âHah, smooth guy, arenât you?â You asked, taking his phone and typing your number in. When you got to the soft trail of greenery and sand that led up to the backyard of the beach house.
âHow about we watch the last few minutes of the sun set together,â he reached for your head and stopped you before you could head up the wooden steps.
âHow about you donât kidnap my friend for the whole evening!â Hoseok shouted suddenly, tripping over his own feet as he ran out the sliding glass door that led to the pool deck, âIâve been worried sick about Y/n.â
âNot true, heâs been sleeping!â Hyeri yelled after him, âBut youâre the guy who tackled my best friend on our first day here.â
âMy reputation precedes me,â Jungkook held his hands up in surrender, âIâm Jungkook. I was just asking if you guys wanted to join us and watch the sun set.â
âHow aesthetic, let me grab some bottles of Soju.â
Your attempt to end your time with Jungkook failed and he seemed pleased with himself for that. He was also polite enough to try and get to know your friends too.
â§
He was having a crisis, he thinks. A real life identity crisis because for the first time in his life he thinks he likes someoneâin a way heâs never liked anyone before. Itâs pathetic and makes him feel so stupid because he barely knows anything about you but itâs the truth. If anything thatâs what makes him like you so much. He likes that he canât tell what youâll say or how youâll react to him, itâs exciting.
He just wants to know if heâs on your mind too.
âWeâre still on for this weekend right?â
âWhat are we doing again?â The road ahead was a scenic path between mountain and sea that led all the way to this private property of his childhood home.
âChae-hiâs birthday trip.â Jimin spoke from the passengerâs seat of the black pick-up truck his best friend paraded in when he wasnât on his dirtbike.
âOh, yeah Iâm not going. I was thinking of taking Y/n sailing,â Jungkook said with a small smile, looking sideways, unable to miss the way Jimin stiffened and went silent. He looked back to the road, hand tightening around the steering wheel slightly, âWhat?â
âNothing,â Jimin scoffed, looking out the window annoyed now. The drive was silent for a while, nothing but the low sound of music and wind blowing through the topless truck.
âWhatâs up with you lately?â He finally asked, âYou barely know the girl and sheâs all you talk about. Weâve had plans to go with everyone.â
By everyone he meant their mutual friendsânot just his ex and her friendâwhich made things worse. Heâs known them all for years and itâs hard to see them when he wants to move on and do his own thing. Jungkook tried not to let Jiminâs tone ruin his mood and sighed, âSorry, man, but Iâm not going. Are we playing later or what?â
âYou sure youâre not busy with your new friends?â Jimin asked, remembering about the night Jungkook had dinner with you. He tried calling him that night to see if he wanted to go out for drinks just to be rejected because Jungkook was too busy with you and your friends.
Jungkook chuckled, âDonât be jealous, youâll always be first in my heart.â
âOh fuck off,â Jimin rolled his eyes, trying to not sound bitter as he asked, âWhatâs your girl doing anyway?â
âY/nâs not my girlâyet, I donât know. She hasnât texted back,â Jungkook said worriedly, making Jimin stare at him strangely.
Itâs not that he had anything against you personally, he just doesnât get it. Youâre a complete stranger who wonât stick around so why has his best friend chosen to hang out with you so much recently. What did you have over the people heâs known all his life? What do you bring to the table?
What did you gain from being around Jungkook?
You couldnât explain it either. All you really knew was that a cute guy who sort of annoyed you in the beginning was starting to rub off on you. Youâve come to enjoy running into him and forcing yourself to open up because heâll listen. It made you feel weird in a good way. You wanted to think about how fun it was to be around him and ignore all the worries youâve had recently.
Even with your close friends, youâve long since stopped talking about the people you were interested in. It wasnât because you didnât trust them or want their advice but sometimes you didnât feel the need to say anythingâespecially if it was harmless fun. Thatâs why when Hyeri approached you about Jungkook, you werenât sure what to say.
âItâs no fair,â Hyeri picked through a crate of strawberries, dropping them into a basket, âI wanted to find a little beach boyfriend, whyâd you get lucky instead.â
âWhat are you talking about?â You asked dumbly, following her down the aisle of produce at the farmerâs market.
âYou know exactly what Iâm talking about,â Hyeri said accusingly, âJungkook.â
âWeâre just hanging out,â You said with a shrug that made her laugh, pushing her sunglasses into her hairline. You knocked against one end of a green watermelon, hoisting it in your hands and continuing past her.
âRight, is that what you called your date the other night? Just a nice early dinner with a hot guy who asked to watch the sunset with you?â She said playfully, âYou like him, donât you.â
âI donât know him,â You insisted. Yes, youâve talked a lot with Jungkook recently and youâve begun to talk about real things in your lives but did that really mean anything? âBesides, in a month and a half Iâll be in my new place settling back into the old routine. Itâs just fun hanging out with him, nothing more, itâd be too complicated.â
âWhatever you say,â Hyeri sighed.
Youâre lying, obviously youâre lying because you do sort of like him but you didnât want to think about it. You didnât want to think about what you could become, you only want to think about now and how things progress. Whatever happens, happens. Thatâs it. Could you pretend like you have no worries aside from who youâll run into on the beach instead?
When your phone rang, you knew immediately who it couldâve been and although Hyeri walked ahead, acting like she couldnât hear it, she was clearly listening. When you answered Jungkookâs call, he was quick to ask about your plans for the upcoming weekend.
â§
âYou want to take me sailing?â
Despite the early hours where the sun has yet to shine through, you still couldnât wrap your mind around it. Even walking along the dock following after Jungkook who led the way through the darkness of the starry sky. âOr are you plotting my murder?â
âWhich would you prefer I do?â He asked teasingly, looking back at you with a grin, âBut seriously, itâll be fun.â
Fun wasnât waking up before the sun did, nor was it following a man you barely know out to the sea. If it werenât for Hyeri begging you to take up his offer, you wouldnât be here right now.
The sailing yacht was bigger than you expected with a small cabin area below deck to sleep and wash up in. Youâve never been on a sailboat before but you didnât think they would look this nice and clean.
âThis is yours?â You asked, watching him put in the arm work to undo the rope that tied the boat to the dock.
âUm, yeah,â Jungkook answered blandly, âKinda?â
âKinda?â
âYeah, itâs mine,â he cleared his throat, helping you carry your bag down to the room before bringing you back up to the galley, âI used to be on a sailing team when I was in school and after I graduated I got this for my friends and I.â
âNice,â You looked around, still in shock at the size of the sails. It was a Beneteau Oceanis 48 with such a sleek, clean look you were scared to sit on any part of it. You wanted to ask how much it was but resisted the urge to, scared youâd sound rude.
Still half asleep, you watched Jungkook set sail behind the wheel, his jacket already off and the sleeves of his linen shirt.
âSleep a little, weâve got time,â he said lastly.
It went easy between you two, you felt comfortable and for some reason safe with him enough to letyourself relax around him. You can't remember falling asleep but at some point you had and when you were woken up it was with him dropping anchor in the middle of the open sea.
The waves were calm, breathtaking deep blue and you could see the line of gold separating the ocean from the sky. It was beginning to warm up but you still shivered in your thin sweater, looking up feeling awestruck by the view.
"Look who's finally awake," Jungkook said softly as he secured the wheel and came over to where you sat. He grabbed his jacket â that he had grown too hot for â and placed it over your front. You took in the light scent of his cologne that lingered on the Northface and thanked him, "You said I could sleep."
"I know," he sat across from you, looking at you with a gentle look on his eyes, "I did wake you up pretty early, but look at the view. Do you like it?"
"Yeah, it's nice," You leaned against the edge of the seat, staring down at the dark navy blue water, almost catching your reflection in it. The line of gold was beginning to widen and a circle of light was bouncing off the ocean beautifully. "If you plan on pushing me over the edge, now's the time."
"You're dumb," he laughed, kicking your foot with his playfully. You smiled, trying not to laugh as you looked at him, "Aren't you cold?"
"No, it's hard work getting a sail boat out and I was starting to sweat," Jungkook lifted an arm, flexing it, "But these guns never fail me."
"That's too bad, I was hoping you'd want to keep me warm but I don't want you to overheat," You teased, looking at him invitingly and his eyes shifted to the open space next to you. To set it off, you even winked.
"You know what, now that you mention it, being surrounded by this sea breeze is making me a little chilly," Jungkook pretended to shiver as he got up.
"The sun's rising, I'm sure you'll warm up again really soon," You said as he sat next to you, touching your leg and making you put it on his lap.
"Who knows, I'm suddenly freezing, come closer," he rested his arm on the back of your seat, pulling you onto his lap, "I heard body heat is good to warm up."
"You can always just put your jacket on," You pretended to argue making him roll your eyes, almost sassily.
"But you look so much better in it," He brushed hair out of your face that the wind blew over, finger softly tracing the side of your face.
"I hate to admit this but... you're too good to be true," You said honestly, shifting your gaze away, "Like, too perfect."
"But I'm not," Jungkook argued quietly, "I'm just... I don't know, I'm not acting like myselfâor maybe I am and haven't realized it but I think it's you. I want to impress you."
You didn't know how to respond but he didn't mind. He was more focused on the soft glimmer in your eye as you watched the sky turn a powder blue with orange, hearing the seagulls and light whooshing sound of the sails.
It's bad how affected you're leaving him and you don't even know it.
"Y/n," Jungkook tried getting your attention again, leaned his head against your shoulder. You didn't have to say anything to know what he was asking. The first soft brush of his lips against your jaw had you succumbing to his effect. He tilted your chin with the tip of his fingers, catching your lips with his, finally.
How do you describe it?
How do you explain how soft and tender his lips felt? How his fingers grazing your skin sent a shiver down your spine and how he was surprisingly very loving with his affection?
This man who you barely knew and trusted too much was making you melt in his arms, kissing you and making it feel like you've never been kissed before.
"This is bad," he mumbled against your lips, pulling back to catch his breath, eyes still closed, "I really like you."
You gave him one quick peck of a kiss, sitting up, "Tell me all about it then."
Jungkook couldn't he'll but crack a grin, licking the taste of you off his lips. He wouldn't be able to shut up if he did.
You're beautiful, stunning, truly.
Even with your face in sand or your hair a mess, a scowl or pout, just beautiful to him. It was so stupid for him to be swayed by that but it's obviously what pulled him in first.
You were so meanâhe thought, at leastâbut it never stopped him from approaching you. It's like he knew it wasn't your intention to come off so cold and when you'd joke back with him, he could see the hint of mischief in your eyes. It made him want to push your buttons or say something he knew would get a reaction from you.
You're different and he wishes it didn't sound so stupid like he knew you would think if he ever told you but you are. You're like no one he's metâreally met, beyond surface level interests or habits. You responded differently, looked at him differently, treated him different.
"I won't shut up if I do," he said honestly, "Can't I just show you, instead?"
"How suggestive," you giggled, letting him kiss you again. There was more force to it this time, like he really meant it. The first one was firm and teasing, really testing the waters when his hand disappeared into your hair to keep you from pulling away.
You were spending the golden hour of the late sunrise with Jungkook sailing on a boat in the ocean. The view was amazing and his lips were so soft.
His lip ring is surprisingly warm when it brushes your lips, and his tongue feels slick against yours. He held you closely making you feel secure and safe [?], and at one point you made it onto his lap, practically straddling him.
You pressed closer to him eagerly and the movement makes his hands travel toward your hips for support, his jacket long forgotten on the floor. The seat was hard underneath him but if he mentioned it you might pull away and that's the last thing he wanted in the moment. Jungkook liked kissing you, he liked feeling your lips trail down his jaw and toward his neck where you didn't shy away from leaving open mouth kissed against his Adam's apple or under his ear.
"Y/nâ" his hands circled around you tighter, "Have you gotten a good look at the cabin?"
Your brows furrowed momentarily, looking down the short steps to the cabin door where a big bed was seen through the window, "No, want to show me?"
You began to get up from Jungkook's lap, making his hands slide off down your hip, leading you to the cabin.
Jungkook wasnât as subtle as he hoped to be when he pressed you into his chest, peppering your shoulder with light and teasing kisses taking you further into the room. A small smile played on your lips when you turned to face him, circling your arms around his neck.
He didnât question it when you walked him toward the bed instead, making him sit down as you kissed and straddling him once more. You were a good kissed and Jungkook could attest to that by the way your tongue slid between his lips to seek his out. It was a surprise for you to be so forward with him but he wasnât complaining at all. If anything it made him want to take it further. He wasnât shy with his touches anymore and you could feel his hands circle down to your butt, pressing you firmly into his lap.
It was hard to ignore his arousal from your simple make-out. It was evident in his shorts and it made you want to keep going. You began to rock your hips against him lightly, feeling his growing bulge apply pressure between your legs.
âCan we get this off?â Jungkook asked about your jacket first, feeling you miles away and when you unzipped it, you pulled off your shirt too leaving him breathless, âYouâre bolder than I thought.â
âIs that a bad thing?â You asked, watching his fingers trace down your bare sides, looking at your bra and chest. His finger hooked into the hem of your jeans as if to teasingly ask if they can come off next and you gave him the go ahead, starting to unbutton his shirt for him.
âNever,â he sighed, eyes closing when your hands touched his muscular chest. His hands snuck under her jeans playing with your underwear and grinding your hips against his worn more purpose drawing out a small groan in the process.
When your hips began to move on their own, teasing his aching member, he leaned forward to kiss along your neck, finding your pulse points with ease and reaching behind you for the clasp of your bra to get it off next.
Your arms circled his neck, hugging his head close to feel his lips on your skin and moved your hips with more determined rhythm. Youâd be lying if you said his kisses werenât turning you on and sending shivers down your spine. Jungkook slid your bra off letting it hit the floor while you wrestled his opened shirt off his shoulders and hugged him in a kiss.
âYouâre so sexy,â Jungkook whispered, kissing the soft mound of your breasts, âEven when I had you in the ground covered in sand thatâs all I could think about.â
âAnd here I thought it was my personality that drew you in,â You teased, letting him finally turn you on your back beneath him. He pulled your jeans off leaving you in your small slither of panty.
âTrust me, it did,â Jungkook said, kissing along your thighs, âHurt my feelings that the pretty girl from the beach couldnât care less about me.â
âA real shot to your ego,â you raised your knees
Jungkook leaned forward to catch your lips in a kiss, hovering over your body, âIt really was.â
A small gasp left your lips as you felt his hand trace down the curve of your sides, slipping into your underwear and feeling the soft slope of your nether region. Your thighs parted more, letting his finger tease your clit.
âI wasnât too impressed in the beginning,â You joked, lifting your hips when you felt his finger begin to feel around your folds, surely finding where the slick began to puddle. He used the wetness to coat your clit, raising a light sigh from your lips there he swallowed in a kiss.
âIâm well aware,â Jungkook whispered against your lips. You rose your hips to meet his hand, finding some stimulation that made your body respond with raise bumps in pleasure, âWhat about now?â
As he asked, his coated middle finger finally pressed into your wet cunt, with his palm against your clit and grinding into it as he pushed his finger into the hilt. You dug your nails into his tatted forearm to ground yourself against the sudden feeling and holding back the loud moan that almost slipped. He smiled, clearly amused by your reaction. He maneuvered his hand around so his thumb could find your clit and with it covered in your arousal it made the slide so much easier.
Jungkookâs long finger slide into your pussy with slight restriction, curling when he pushed all the way in and finding that sweet spot that had your breath hitching and probing at it. You were at a loss for words and he loved it, it made him want to kiss you as he brought you pleasure with just his hand. He wasnât even asking for a response anymore, he was just trying to tell you how heâs felt while he makes you feel good on an expensive sail boat in the sea.
The sunrise had long been forgotten and replaced by the thought of how good he made you feel and he was happy about that.
"Oh, fuck." You gasped, gripping his armas he hooks his finger at just the right angle. You didnât even have to tell him that was the spot that made your toes curl, itâs like he just knew it.
"Like it?" He asked, repeating his previous action, kissing along your neck for added stimulation.
He could feel you on edge of orgasm by the way you pinched his arm but he didnât care about the slight sting. He cared more for the glazed look in your eyes, walls tightening around his finger.
Itâs like he knew exactly when the last push would be, and his pace grew more rough, ready to get you there and finally your body gave way to pleasure.
âPretty,â Jungkook said softly, feeling your release around his hand, letting you ride out your high and pulling his hand back when you were ready. Your breathing was shallow and the sight of your breasts falling and rising with each breath was hypnotizing. When he pulled back, he couldnât stand the constriction of his shorts anymore. Without thinking, he licked your release off his hand before yanking his shorts down along with his usual Calvin Kleins.
Jungkook didnât say he was ready to go further, but you could tell just by the way his cock sprung free from its confines. It was pretty and long, not too think nor skinny and fit his physique perfectly. He stroked himself here and there for some friction but didnât hurry you along. Instead, he let you catch your breath as he watched in awe at the fact that he had you in bed with him.
âCome here,â you motioned for him to come closer with your index finger and sat up, fully naked before him and getting him in the bed with you. Jungkook followed in a trance, kissing you thoughtlessly and nearly biting your lip in surprise when your fingers touched the tip of his dick, feeling the pre-cum that leaked from the slit.
You barely had your hand wrapped around his pretty cock, giving him a small jerk up his length when his fingers circled around your waist to stop you, âNot tonight.â
You tried to read the expression in his eyes but he just kissed you lovingly, âI want to feel you, all of you.â
âWhat a giver,â You said playfully, kissing the tip of his nose and laying back with him following after you. He held your legs apart, lining his cock at your entrance, âCan I? Iâll pull out.â
You gave a nod of your head, looking down as his cock pressed forward, aching to feel the tightness of your wet walls hugging him.
Youâre not sure what came over you then, but the feel of his dick pushing past your entrance made you feel bold. Your leg hooked around his waist, pulling him forward and watching how his jaw went slack. Jungkook looked down at how eagerly you took him and his arms nearly gave out, eyes rolling as he processed the sudden pleasure.
You still needed a moment to adjust to his size and he practically fused himself to your body, trapping you beneath his muscular figure, âFuck.â
His movements were slow at first, thrusting gently to find what felt good and what didnât, running gentle hands over your breasts so he could feel the fullness of them. When he thrusted his hard length in, his thumbs were circled your nipples, pulling his cock out and pinching at them. Something about the leg you had around him drove him wild, feeling your territoriality over him even if there was a chance it meant nothing.
âJungkook,â you moaned softly at a particularly harsh thrust, scratching at his back unintentionally, âFeels good.â
Something was happening inside of him that he couldnât explain. He wanted to say things he shouldnât, things that were too soon to admit and he had to bite his tongue to stop himself. The only other way he could stop himself from sounding like a fool was with his mouth on you and the closest thing to him were your perky nipples.
Jungkook never slowed the steady pace he set fucking you but with the added pleasure to your chest, his tongue circling around your nipple and sucking lightly, had you seeing stars. Youâd nearly forgotten where you were till you looked out the windows, seeing the clear sky and the pretty water making this all feel more surreal.
Jungkook hugged you close, hand gripping your thigh and inching it higher around himself as he fucked you rougher, taking pleasure in bringing you close again and this time around he couldnât bother being as gentle. He wanted to, he swears, but heâs so turned on by you that he couldnât be patient at all. You didnât even seem to mind when his hips slammed into yours, turning you to lay on your side, fucking yourself on his cock with more vigor knowing he needed release too, and let him manhandle you however he wanted. His free hand snuck into your hair, pulling slightly when he dragged you into another kiss and groaned against your lips.
Neither of you had to say anything to know you were both close, and it made you impatient. You moaned at the roughness, letting yourself get lost in the feeling unripe you couldnât take it anymore, once again cumming with little control of yourself. He held you so roughly to his body, not letting you go as you struggled to catch your breath and you knew it was taking everything in him to not let go inside you. Thatâs the only thing that had you pushing away from him, trying to sneak a hand down to touch him but the second you did, his cock spilled thick cum into your hand, creamy and white. You wanted a taste badly.
Jungkook moaned your name quietly, feeling pathetic to cum so easily by your hand but he couldnât hold back anymore. It took him longer to bounce back than you, and when he opened his eyes he caught you pressing a finger to your tongue, taking a small taste that left him shuddering.
âDonât do that,â his voice said, raspy and tired tone.
âYou did it to me,â You said, licking your finger clean, âAnd you made a mess.â
âSorry,â he couldnât help but pout, looking surprisingly cute to you even with his hair a sweaty mess and the afterglow of sex on his naked body, âKiss?â
A grin spreads over his face when you lean in to kiss him, happily kissing you back more gently now.
âWould I sound wimpy if I said I needed a nap?â It pained him to even ask but he was suddenly so tired and relaxed in your arms. It made him feel unmanly to even think to ask but he couldnât help it, he could lay in bed all day with you if it was an option, âWe can worry about breakfast laterâperhaps when itâs consider lunch or an afternoon snack.â
You laughed softly, snuggling into him further, âLet me at least clean up a little and then we can sleep for as long as you want.â
Jungkook smiled happily, letting you leave to the bathroom as he hurriedly tugged the bedding off. He wasnât too worried about the boat, knowing he properly set anchor and the water was calm today. If anything the light rocking of the boat could lull him to sleep if you were in his arms.
âAre you sick of me yet?â Jungkook asked, watching you drift in and out of sleep as he drove away from the shipping dock. It was the evening and the hours spent in the open sun was exhausting, even with how sweet it felt. At least he thinks you might feel that way.
If he were being honest, he could still be with you longer. There hadnât been enough hours in the day for him, âOr do you think we could still get dinner?â
âWe can, but I need a shower, Iâm sticky and sweaty,â You said absentmindedly, catching the way he bit his lip with a smirk that had you smacking his arm, âDonât be gross.â
âI didnât say anything,â He laughed, grinning as he thought about the way you said his name when you were naked in his arms, âBut, I want to take you to my family home. My parents are gone for the weekend and itâs closer than my apartment.â
âAre you hiding your apartment from me?â You asked jokingly.
âNo, but I live with Jimin and I want to be selfish and have you to myself longer so your place is out of the question too,â Jungkook admitted.
âAnd what am I supposed to wear? I didnât really pack clothes,â You looked down at his linen shirt you currently wore, only panties underneath thinking youâd be going home after the eventful day.
âSomething mine, you look good in whatâs mine,â Jungkook said with a wink, âIâll make us something niceâmaybe get something orderedâŠâ
âOh I guess.â
You didnât question the drive away from the houses lining the beach in his pick up truck. You stared out the window and watched the view turn more scenic would hillsides and small rocky edges, more nature-esque.
Songs played quietly that Jungkook would sometimes hum along too with a perfect pitch that had looking over at him from time to time. When he would catch you looking, heâd stop immediately and tighten his hands over the steering wheel.
He was nervous.
His family home was empty and he could go to it whenever he pleased but did he really want to bring you along? Open up another side of himself just for a few more moments alone? Did you mean this much to him?
Swallowing his nerves, he turned down a private road with tall trees and white gravel. It stretched on for a mile before ending at private gates. You sat up, slightly more aware of what was going on when he lowered his window to type in some code, hearing someone speak through an intercom, âWelcome home, sir.â
He could feel your eyes on him and he just smiled, âWash up first?â
âPlease,â You said, looking away, staring straight ahead at the colonial house that appeared in view. It was obscenely large with endless windows and greenery surrounding it making it all the more intimidating.
This is his family home, yours couldnât compare.
Still, you tried not to question it.
Jungkook didnât bother driving back to the private garage, he pulled up to the circular driveway by the fountain of a water nymph and got out of his truck, opening the door for you. It shouldâve dawned on him that something was going to happen. The lights were on when no one should be home.
Still, heâs already brought you this far.
âJungkook?â
His hand stopped at the handle of your door, just barely pulling it open but with little room for you to step out. You stopped moving instantly, watching the way he visibly stiffened, face hardening as he looked off to the distance.
âYouâre here, what a surprise.â
âMom,â he turned around immediately, âI thought you guys werenât home.â
âWell, if you would answer the phone, when I call, you would know your fatherâs trip was canceled,â a women in a tweed Chanel suit and a tight smile stepped down from the entrance, âYouâve brought company?â
As if being summoned, Jungkook looked at you, motioning for you to step out and although you didnât want you, you didâundressed and exhausted. The woman was stunning and classy like youâd never seen, somewhat taken back that she was the mother of the beach boy youâve met.
Not to mention, it was too early to meet anyoneâs parents. It made you sick to your stomach even as you smiled politely, âHello.â
âThis is Y/n,â Jungkook reached for your hand, âWe were just stopping by.â
âWhen you thought no one was home?â She asked, making you look at him. He was grown, clearly, but still scolded and questioned like a child.
Jungkook didnât say anything but you could feel him squeeze your hand when her eyes traveled over your barely dressed figure. He at least had on a t-shirt that was in his truck and his shorts.
âWhy donât the two of you clean up, weâre having dinner on the terrace,â She said looking unimpressed, âIâll have a maid find you something more appropriate.â
âOh, we donât want to boââ
âWe have guests so donât make a scene, I already had to make an excuse for why you wouldnât be here, you canât leave now. Even if you do have sudden company.â
That shut Jungkook up quicker than youâd ever seen. It wasnât that you couldnât catch on to what was happening, but more so you could wrap your mind around the reality of it. You moved almost as robotically as he did, sneaking into the house unsure what was going on aside from doing as told. He took you into his bedroom, pulling you in the bathroom with him and washing up. His entire demeanor changed and you didnât know what to do.
âShould I go? I could probably get Hoseok to get me,â You told him honestly. You werenât upset â not yet. As far as you knew, Jungkook might have a complicated relationship with his parents meeting the person heâs sleeping with, especially considering how recent things are with you. Neither of you are ready to meet the family, itâs just fun summer things. Youâd say the biggest shock was that Jungkook seemed to be wealthy and likes to keep that private but does that make you worried?
âNo, I want you here with me,â Jungkook said, swallowing hard and opening the door to his room, finding something folded on the edge of his bed. He handed it to you without much thought as he got dressed.
It was nothing crazy, just a light colored sundress and you had to dry off quickly so you could join him downstairs. Part of you wanted to call your friends but what would it mean if you did?
âWhat a surprise, brother, and I see youâve finally brought someone new along,â an arrogant voice spoke up from the large dinner table on the terrace. It was a candle lit dinner with six guests aside from the two of you and you immediately reconciled a familiar face.
âHello, sorry for keeping everyone waiting,â Jungkook said stiffly, âThis is Y/n.â
âWeâve met,â Yeaun said when the others looked at you confused. Their greetings were bland and uncaring but you tried not to think too hard on it, âOn the beach, right?â
âYes, I remember,â You tried to smile, looking at Jungkook just as confused as everyone.
âYeaun is a family friend,â Jungkook explained to you.
âAn ex-fiancĂ©e,â His mother said coldly, making him freeze.
Why was she saying this?
âDarling,â an older version of Jungkook with salt and pepper hair said to his wife in warning.
âWeâre on good terms though,â Yeaun smiled tightly, âThings have been changing recently, havenât they?â
She asked you like you would knowâlike you were the reason for it but you were too stuck on what she was to care.
Ex-what?
âSo, are you still going with the firm?â A woman sitting next to his brother said to him. That made his brother laugh, âHeâs still playing around Jinâs auto shop.â
âIs everyone already eating? What about us?â Jungkook looked at you suddenly, âShould we get served?â
The firm? What firm? What fiancée? What was going on?
âY/n, what about you? Are you new in town? Who are your parents?â The dad asked, making all heads turn toward you, a member of who you assumed was house staff, began to serve you and Jungkook dinner.
âDad,â Jungkook tried to say but he didnât get very far.
âIâm just here for the summer, Iâm from the city,â You told him with a smile.
âHowâd you meet?â Jungkookâs mother asked.
âOn the beach,â You told her plainly. She didnât say anything in response but you could feel the way her eyes narrowed at you like she was trying to read you. You werenât lying or anything but it felt like she didnât believe you. Under the table, Jungkookâs hand touched your thigh but in all honesty you didnât even want him to touch you. Itâs not anything serious, you were just confused and uncomfortable in this situation. He shouldâve just taken you home or let you call Hoseok.
âA city girl, huh? You must have a big job, right? What do you do?â His brother asked.
âIâm in between work right now,â You said honestly, just as you had told Jungkook who seemed to be open to that idea and understood why. Sometimes, doing the same routine in a career you didnât have passion anymore left you drained and you needed a change of pace. You explained this to him and he made it all feel okay so why were you being looked at strangely?
âSo wasting your time over here is what you want to be doing?â His mom asked.
Jungkook took a deep breath, wanting to speak up but unsure how to do so. He obviously hasnât told you anything but his relationship with his family is complicated. The added guests made it all the worse. Has he always been such a coward?
âThatâs what it seems like,â You said bitterly, looking over at Jungkook with a cold expression.
You donât remember much of the rest of dinner, only that you hated every second of it and how you just wanted to go home. You checked out of all conversations after a while and watched the tension between them with little interest. What youâve learned is that Jungkook is good at keeping things from others even when he begs to know more himself.
The irony, it was annoying. By the end of dinner, you didnât care to know what any of them had to say, much less Yeaun who everyone continued to remind you was his ex that they all loved dearly. They were saying it for a reason, like if you wanted to take her place and be with Jungkook who belonged to a group of people who wonât let outsiders in.
âWell at least sheâs pretty,â you remember being told.
âIâm sorry,â was the first thing Jungkook said after dinner but you didnât bother to acknowledge him. Instead, you led the way to his truck so he could take you home.
The car ride was so eerily silent that it felt deafening. He tried and tried to talk to you but you just ignored him, not caring at all for whatever might come out of his mouth and he canât really blame you.
âYou lied to me,â You said finally, staring holes into his dashboard.
âI didnât mean to,â Jungkook admitted, âEverything Iâve said to you is true.â
You scoffed, rolling your eyes and looking out the dark window, âJust take me home.â
âY/n,â Jungkook reached across the middle console for your hand but you crossed your arms over your chest and shifted away from him even more, âIâm sorry, we shouldâve just gone somewhere elââ
âLook, it was never going to work out anyway so just take me home and we can both go on with our lives because clearly weâre nothing alike at all,â You said bitterly, âI was just dumb enough to believe we are. Itâs been a long day.â
He wanted to argue but for the first time since heâs met you, heâs left silent. Heâs a coward, heâs aware of that now and it felt sickening to realize it finally. Heâs always been the type to do what heâs told, follow the plan his parents have set out for him and this is the first time heâs realizing how much he hates it.
When the truck pulled up to the front of your house, he began to unbuckle his belt, quietly saying, âIâll walk you to the dââ
The car door slammed shut in the middle of his words and although he knew it was better for him to give you space, he just couldnât. He couldnât let you walk off on him without trying to really hear him outâjust let him get his thoughts together. As pathetic as it sounds, Jungkook feels like a kid again. He feels anxious to be ignored or scolded.
Without a care for gentleness, he swung his side door open to the large truck and got down to follow after you, âIâm sorry, okay? I didnât realize they would be home and if I did I wouldnât have invited you over. I just wanted to spend more time with you.â
âThatâs not the problem, Jungkook,â you said back to him, âThe problem is that youâre so secretive about everything and fine, whatever, you donât have to tell me but donât act like you want to know anything about me then if I canât expect the same.â
You released a sigh at his silence, turning away, âGo home.â
Your front door slammed in his face shutting him out and he could see people staring through the window; probably overhearing everything and he wanted to disappear. When had things gotten so complicated for him?
He missed the days when he didnât have anything to worry about but now that heâs starting to see the people around him more clearly, heâs realizing he doesnât like it at all.
â§
It took you days to think about Jungkook again, mostly because you wanted to ignore him and he was making it easy for you. He has only messaged and called a couple times before he got the hint that you donât want to talk to him and gave up.
You canât tell if you preferred that or wished he kept trying but you had to move on. The two of you werenât dating, you hooked up on a boat before realizing his family are pretentious assholes and wanted nothing to do with him now.
You know heâs not his family but at the same time these are people he surrounds himself with and if he was attracted to someone like Yeaun, there was no way he was into you too. You barely know her but you know enough to see that youâre nothing alike.
âWhat are you looking at?â Hoseok asked, looming over your shoulder.
âApartments, I still canât find anything good, I think I need to go home for a few days and do some in-person tours,â You told him with a sigh, scrolling through listings, sitting alone in the beach themed living room that looked fresh out of a cape cod magazine.
âItâs not a quick commute,â He said, âBesides, I already said you can stay with me till we find you a place, thereâs no rush.â
âI know, but thereâs nothing better to do,â You said with a shrug.
âItâs called avoiding,â Hyeri said, sitting on the edge of the couch, âSo Y/nâs probably not gonna come back if she leaves now. Youâre mad at Jungkook.â
âNo, Iâm not,â you rolled your eyes, âThatâs over and I havenât done anything but laze around all day. I need to get my shit together.â
You just want to go home.
âWhatâs up with you? Youâve looked mad all day,â Jimin pointed out as he mindlessly dug his feet into the sand. Heâs dragged Jungkook out after days of not seeing him but his friend couldnât care less about the beach or hanging out with him. He actually didn't want to hang out with anyone.
âIs it the thing from the other night?â Jimin asked like it was so simple, âYeaun was talking about it, so youâve introduced your new girl to the family and it didnât go so well?â
âJimin.â
âYeah?â
âAre you really my friend?â Jungkook asked, sitting at the bottom of one of the net posts, squinting up at the sun.
âAre you kidding? Iâve been around since you were in diapers, youâre like a brother to me,â Jimin said with a laugh, âI just donât agree with some of the decisions you make.â
âLike?â He pressed for more.
âI donât know, I just think you have a lot going for you and lately youâve been acting like you donât,â Jimin said, shrugging, âYou passed the Bar Exam a while ago and instead of going to your dadâs firm youâre wasting time at Jinâs. You donât answer the phone when your family calls and you ignore your friends forâŠâ
âSay it.â
âFor some chick you donât know,â Jimin scoffed, âI donât get it. Itâs always been you and I, Chaehi and Yeaun. Always. Since we were kids and suddenly you break it off with one of the only girls whoâs been here for you and find someone new to entertain yourself with. Itâs weird.â
âAsshole,â Jungkook rolled his eyes, kicking off the ground and leaving his friend behind. He wasnât sure where he was going but he just wanted to be alone.
Were you really just some girl? Is that what everyone thought? Yes, things had been incredibly easy with you but did that mean you werenât anything more than a fling? As dramatic as it sounds, every interaction with you has been probably the best heâs ever had.
Youâre funny, pretty, smart, and so much more than he ever imagined. You pulled him in and pushed him away in the best way possible. Of course itâs been strange getting rejected but you do it in a way that tells him to keep going. You were always there to listen to his obnoxious flirting and when he did decide to tell you anything about himself, you didnât judge.
Heâs so stupid for not doing the same. He wanted you to open up to him because he wanted to get closer to you but he didnât allow himself to do it too. It was unfair so he understands why youâre mad but he canât stand it.
He wants to call you but would you want to listen?
Jungkook found himself walking toward the boardwalk hoping the bustling energy from midday was enough to distract him. He thinks you remind him of something different, being somewhere different where he didnât have to worry so much about what he did or who he was with. Jiminâs right that lately Jungkook hasnât been doing anything to be apart of his familyâs plans for him. Heâs kind of been trying to live in the moment and clearly that wasnât so bad. Thatâs how he met you and besides, itâs not like he hasnât been thinking about his future. He just doesnât see it here in this small town where everyone knows his name. He sees himself somewhere far in the city where he could just blend in with everyone else and do what he wants to do, be with who he wants to. Itâs you, itâs seriously you.
Youâve opened up his eyes a little and he hates that his lack of honesty has pushed you away. He canât even blame it on the uncomfortable dinner because if he wasnât such a coward, he wouldâve done more. He canât deny that thereâs something up with him and he has no doubt in his mind that you have something to do with it. Barely knowing you has done so much more for him than the people heâs known all his life.
Your best friends wanted you to forget about your plans on leaving, knowing you too well to believe you would come back. Youâre not the type to do so. If you set your mind on leaving, even for a short time, you wouldnât come back especially knowing you could run into Jungkook whenever. Maybe you were a coward too because all you ever wanted to do was run away when things get complicated and the last thing you had wanted was for this trip to get that way too.
They dragged you out of the house for a late lunch that you werenât even hungry for and as a way to distract you but it did the complete opposite of that. Instead, you were brought to that restaurant you came to with Jungkook and the same server who youâve seen now talk with a girl Yeaun was always around. They were friends and it shouldâve been the first sign that you would never get him. You were never part of the plan around here, you were a step back to everyone involved with him and it made you bitter.
Howâd you catch the attention of someone so unavailable?
âCome on, I havenât bought a single thing here, Iâve been too busy working on my tan,â Hyeri said, pulling you along behind her to a clothing stand of sundresses, âWeâve got a few more weeks here, I think itâs time I fit the vibe, right?â
âYeah,â You told her, looking through the rack of dresses absentmindedly. You wandered away just a little, to a table filled with jewelry and ran your fingers over certain metals and gems. You werenât thinking much on what was going on around you, too distracted choosing between gold and silver to notice the person standing yards away looking stunned.
For the first time in over a week, Jungkook has found you again, on the beach, looking as breathtaking as usual. After all youâve been avoiding him, he canât help but hesitate. Does he approach you or not?
âY/n?â
You looked up, brows furrowed slightly at who stood in front of you, âYeaun.â
âHey! How good to see you,â She smiled her usual tight smile that never quite reached her eyes. Up close you could see just how perfect she must seem to everyone from her height to her figure and tone of voice. She usually wore gold accessories and bikini tops or dresses. She was your perfect âGirl Next Doorâ but if you paid enough attention to some of the things she said, youâd see how backhanded it all seemed.
âIt was such a surprise to see you the other night. I guess none of us knew you were with Jungkook,â Yeaun said it so casually even if you could tell she was prying, âWhere is he by the way?â
âWhy donât you ask his mother? The two of you seem close,â You tried not to sound bitter but youâre sure your body language gave away that you were. You searched for Hyeri who was looking at dresses on herself in the mirror and Hoseok left to get snow cones so once again, you were alone in her presence.
âYeah, sorry about that, our parents go way back,â Yeaun said with a wave of her hand, âItâs a small town, yâknow. Everyone knew we were high school sweethearts and when we got engaged everyone was so excited. You can imagine their surprise when we broke it offâsorry, you probably donât want to hear about this again. Iâm sure Jungkook has said enough.â
âIt might sound strange but he doesnât bring you up at all,â You told her, failing to say how you havenât talked to him, âI guess he got over it a long time before anyone else did.â
âI guess so,â her stupid smile once again, âI like you, youâre good for him and Iâm sorry if his family seemed closed off. Theyâre kind of exclusive with who they bring around. They donât want just anyone around their sons. Iâm sure you can see why, Jungkook is perfect, right? A lawyer in the making, athletic, kindâŠâ
âSilver or gold?â You asked, holding up two different sets of earrings. She blinked in surprise, choosing one and trying to carry on, âWhat I mean is, heâs the whole package so everyone wants him but he also has a lot of responsibilities. If someone isnât able to stand behind them all and support him⊠maybe theyâre not the right fitâespecially if they wonât stick around.â
You didnât say anything for a moment, setting the earrings back down and smiling, amused by her audacity, âWho broke it off with who?â
âIt was mutual.â
âDoesnât sound like it was,â You said with a smile, beginning to walk away from her, âBut donât worry, I donât usually like competing for someoneâs attention. I guess I didnât realize you did, so good luck.â
âMeaning?â Her eyes narrowed.
âMeaning, youâre wasting your breath talking to me because I donât care what you have to say,â You said sweetly, âBut it was so nice seeing you again, hopefully next time weâll have something new to talk about.â
With that, you left her behind, nearly walking past Hyeri on the way, âWhere you going?â
âMy phoneâs dying, Iâm going the house,â you told her quickly, continuing to leave before anyone else could run into you.
âWhatâd you say to Y/n?â Jungkook asked, pushing his way through the crowds of people, getting to the stand too late and watching you walk away.
âNothing,â Yeaun raised her hands in feigned surrender, âI was just catching up. Why so worried?â
âWhereâs she going?â Jungkook asked Hyeri, ignoring Yeaun who called for him.
âTo the house?â Hyeri said, confused by whatever she missed but she couldnât even ask when Jungkook practically ran after you.
You cut through the beach instead of taking the long route down the street. You walked farther and farther away from him but he never stopped.
âY/n! Can we talk?â He asks, catching you by surprise but you didnât even act like it. You merely threw him a glance before walking faster.
âIâm kind of in a hurry,â You lied, stepping over the grassy parts in the white sand where you could see more residential properties.
âLook, Iâm sorry. I really am, I shouldâve been more up front from the beginning but I swear I didnât keep things from you to hurt you,â Jungkook said, not stopping his pace even when he can see your house in the distance.
âItâs fine, Iâm over it,â You told him, not turning back again as you looked up at the back deck of your house. You still walked closer to down the shore than the trail but you would get there soon.
âBut Iâm not, I⊠canât stand the thought of you being done with me,â Jungkook said honestly, âSince Iâve met you all I can do is think about you and Iâm kicking myself over letting you find things out in a hard way. I donât like the way you were talked to and I shouldâve said more but I didnât and I regret it so much.â
âJungkook, I donât care,â you groaned, whipping around to face him, âI donât care that you kept things from me. I donât care that thereâs something seriously wrong with your family or your ex fiancĂ©e. I donât care if everyone thinks Iâm not good enough for you and do you want to know why? Because itâs the summer and Iâm not from here and it was fun to fool around in the moment but itâs too complicated now. I don't want anything to do with it. Are you getting it now? I want to go home and forget all about this.â
âYou want to leave?â He asked, getting closer and closer, âAnd what happens then? We just never see each other again because I didnât mean anything to you?â
âI guess if thatâs how youâre seeing itââ
âBullshit,â He scoffed, âI donât care how long weâve known each other or not, you want me just as much as I want you but youâre letting everything else get in the way. Iâm sorry, I donât know what else I can say or do to express that.â
âIâm leaving,â You argued, stepping away, âIâm going back to my normal life and you can go back to yours. Stop making this a bigger deal than it was.â
âWhat if I donât want to? What if I think youâre the best thing to happen to me in a while and the thought of you just leaving doesnât sit right with me? What if I say I donât want this to just be a summer thing and I will follow you wherever you go if it means I get to talk to you more?â Jungkook kept going.
âOh my god, Jungkook. Open your eyes! Join the real world, please!â You groaned, too frustrated to bother getting away, âWe still donât know much about each other, clearly. You live in this perfect little bubble with people who care about you and have plans for you. Why canât you see that? Why are you wanting to throw that away for someone you barely know?â
âIâm not mad, I promise,â You tried to say, âOur lives are just too different and Iâm ready to go back to mineââ
Your words were cut off by the rough pull into his arms. Jungkookâs touch was tender yet forceful, dragging your face toward his until your lips clashed messily and you kissed him back. Like a fool, you kissed him too despite everything you were saying.
It made your heart race, practically feeling his want for you and unable to help yourself from succumbing to it.
He canât remember how long the kiss was, but long enough for his chest to grow heavy with a need to breathe that he had to pull away. His forehead rested against yours, âIf you still want to leave⊠okay. I canât make you stay but I really want you to, Y/n.â
You didnât say anything, knowing you did want to leave. At this point it was more for yourself. No matter how harsh they were, they were right. You needed to get your act together and stop avoiding the problems in your life and that meant you needed to go home.
âAnd I promise that Iâm going to see you again whether it be here or somewhere else,â Jungkook said.
FOUR WEEKS LATER
Jungkook was enamored by city life, heâs grown to learn about himself. Something about the tall skyscrapers and bustling traffic excited him like no other while other people hated them. Of course he missed the beach, surfing, volleyball, his friends⊠but this was for himself. He needed to do something on his own even if it meant doing something unimaginable but it was for the better.
He misses working with cars but he knows better. He put all that work into law school just so he could avoid it and do something else and he needed that to stop. Even if he didnât work in his fatherâs firm, that didnât mean he couldnât get his foot in the door somewhere else.
After you left and all his distractions were gone, he was able to focus more on what he wanted to do. He got on his laptop to look at internships at other law firms and one day, in his endless searching, he found a small office to work in. It was in the city and it didnât take him long to pack up his things and go to it. It started problemsâof courseâ but it didnât stop him, especially knowing you were somewhere here too.
Youâve barely talked since you moved back but he still misses you. He missed you and him on the beach or sailing in the sea. He misses making you laugh or roll your eyes and he wonders how youâre doing. He kept in touch with Hoseok and Hyeri after you left and when they followed suit at the end of vacation, he wanted to ask them about you but he knew better. He knows you werenât just a fling but maybe one day youâll come back and give it another shot.
âIced Americano?â
âI didnât order one,â Jungkook said as he sat alone at a table in a nice cafe. He didnât look up until the cup was set down in front of him and when he was ready to tell the barista it wasnât for him, he froze.
âI know, you donât really give me âCoffee Drinkerâ vibes but I figured it was worth a shot,â You sat down across from him.
âAre you stalking me?â He asked, dumbfounded and confused but more excited than anything. He couldnât believe you were here, at the same place as him by chance.
âWell, I was going to ask the same, this is my usual stop before work and Iâve never seen you here before,â You said, continuing the conversation with him like it never ended.
Jungkook couldnât help but smile, âWell, you see, Iâm new to town and trying new places since this is on my way to work.â
âIs it?â You asked, âYou must live around here.â
âAs it turns out I do,â Jungkook cleared his throat, âItâs a recent move but one I donât regret.â
âHow are you?â You asked with a shy smile and flushed cheeks, the autumn air beginning to take over.
âBetter nowâafter this coffee I mean,â he teased, taking a sip and scrunching his face in disgust.
You bit your lip in thought, âActually um, itâs good Iâve run into you. I think thereâs some things we should talk about but I have to get to work soon.â
âWell I still have your number, and we can always catch up over dinner?â
âYeah, Iâd like that,â You smiled nervously, standing up, âTonight?â
That made his heart race, âItâs a date.â
::.
holy shit that took forever for me to update
idk how I feel about this but also after a while I think too hard on my work and canât look at it anymore so please lmk when you think
permanent taglist
most of u are new but I tried to include some of my old, active members of the taglist and if I forgot about u pls lmk <3
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was i stupid to love you?
in which a lingering glance at Rossiâs wedding threatens your engagement.
content: angst, 4.8k, takes place right after truth or dare (14x15), a lot of dialogue, mention of prison arc, emotional distress, relationship conflict, not proofread a/n: when was the last time you saw me write angst? exactly. this is inspired by malcolm & marie bc i really like the idea of having an argument while moving around the house (also disclaimer i have nothing against JJ i just like being dramatic)
The lock clicks open. The door swings with a creak. Your heels tap against the hardwood in a hollow rhythm that feels almost too loud. Thereâs a tightness in your chest, that prickling behind your eyes, and a familiar ache pressing up from the pit of your stomach, churning into a faint nausea that you try to ignore. Youâre trying to hold it back.
Not here.
Not now.
Spencer doesnât even look up. The keys slip from his hand with a soft clink as they hit the side table, and he turns away with a quiet sigh that reverberates deep in your bones.
âAre you hungry?â he asks, tossing a glance toward the kitchen. âThink we could order something?â
You trail after him, the sharp click of your heels echoing as you step onto the kitchen tile. âWe just came back from a wedding.â
Heâs rifling through the cupboard, his fingers brushing over the mismatched mugs and neatly stacked plates before he pulls down two glasses. âI barely ate anything at the reception.â
You watch him, biting back a response as memories flicker to mind. The slice of cake heâd poked at absentmindedly, washing it down with sips of water instead of real food.
It wasnât hunger he seemed focused on tonight. No, it was his quiet glances across the room you keep on catching from the corner of your eye, and that conversation heâd had at the bar. The one where his posture softened, his gaze so intent youâd found yourself staring at the back of his head, trying not to read too much into itâand obviously failing.
âWhy didnât you eat?â
He shrugs, his back still to you as he fills the glasses with water. âI donât know,â he says, sounding almost absent, like itâs something he hasnât really thought about. âI didnât get around to it, I guess.â
The muscles in your jaw ticks as you bite the inside of your cheeks.
Spencer turns, offering you a glass. âI was thinking of Chinese, or maybe we can check if that Thai place you like is still open.â
You take the glass from him, barely sparing it a glance before setting it back down on the counter. âWhatever you want is fine.â
A subtle crease appears between his brows. âYou sure? You usually have some opinion when it comes to food.â
âIâm not hungry.â
âYou donât want to eat anything?â
You suppress a sigh. "No. I'm tired."
The soft amber of his eyes dims slightly as he studies you. There's a flicker of uncertainty passing through them before he nods. âAlright,â he concedes. âWe donât have to order anything.â
A faint, humorless laugh escapes you before you can stop it. It tastes bitter, a little unfair, but it slips out before you can pull it back, âYou donât have to change your plans on my account, Spencer.â
âIâm not changing any plans,â he responds. âIâm just making sure you have something to eat in case youâre hungry.â
Your shoes dig uncomfortably into your feet. You shift your weight, starting to pace a few steps back and forth. "It's dinner, you don't have to check on me for every little thing. Do whatever you like."
He blinks, looking genuinely perplexed. "What are you saying? I was trying to be considerate."
"Right. Considerate.â
Thereâs an unmistakable bite in your tone.
âYes, because we like doing these things together," he observes, watching your uneasy pacing. "Am I missing something here?â
You shake your head. âNope.â
"Honey."
The term of endearment lands softly, slipping from his lips like he believes it has the power to melt whatever tension has suddenly crept between you. But it only tightens the knot building in your stomach. Itâs stirring the words youâre trying to hold back, tangling them somewhere between your chest and throat.
He calls your name this time, his eyes narrowing into sharp lines. âYouâve been awfully quiet on our way home, and now youâre⊠honestly, I donât know why you're acting this way.â His voice dips with a tinge of exasperation. "Whatâs this really about?"
The words youâve been biting back feel like a stack of stones in your throat, rising up, up, up, each one pressed tighter by the gnawing nausea in your stomach. You can feel them gathering, and before you know it, they tumble out messily.
âIâm just saying, donât let me hold you back from getting what you want. I wouldnât want to stop you from anythingâor, god forbid," you add, letting your gaze drift away as if a little distance might soften the blow, âanyone.â
The soft, almost stifled inhale he takes is audible. You donât even have to look up to see his expression shifting. Youâve known him long enough to recognize the way his shoulders tense, the way his breathing slows as he processes your words. You know his reaction by heart, yet right now, you wonder if saying this was a mistake, if this is the start of something neither of you can take back.
His fingers twitching at his side slip into your line of sight. He's angry.
Maybe this isnât the time to start a fight.
âWhat is that supposed to mean?â
Your heels click softly as you turn.
âForget it. I shouldn't have said anything,â you mutter, already moving toward the bedroom thatâs been yours, too, for the past year. Although it feels strange tonight, like a space that belongs to someone else. A life youâre not entirely sure you belong in.
âNo." His voice is somewhere behind you. âI think you should explain to me what you mean by that.â
You donât respond, choosing instead to sink onto the edge of the bed, hands fumbling as you try to undo the straps of your heels. You twist the stubborn leather with more force. His shadow fills the doorway.
âHoney.â
Not again.
You decide to ignore him.
âIs there something youâd like to say to me?â
You tug harder at the strap. âNo.â
He doesnât buy it. âYouâre clearly bothered by something.â
You shake your head, fingers still fumbling, the leather cutting against your ankle with each pull. âIâm just tired. Can we leave it at that?â
Thereâs a flicker of frustration in his gaze now, a crease forming between his brows as he studies you. He moves into the room. You barely have the chance to react before he lowers himself, bending one knee to the floor as he reaches toward the strap youâve been fighting with. âHere, let meââ
âDonât,â you interrupt, pulling your foot away. âI can do it myself.â
âI know you can. But let meââ
âI can do it myself!â
Your heartbeat thuds loud in your ears, each pulse feeding the frustration thatâs wound its way up from your chest. He rises slowly, not a word passing his lips, but the tension radiates off him like heat. Heâs close enough that his warmth presses against your skin, although itâs not the kind you usually find comforting. Itâs almost suffocating.
You turn your focus back to the stubborn strap, your fingers trembling slightly as you struggle to grip it. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch him slipping off his shoes, one after the other, the soft thuds barely audible over the rush of your own heartbeat. He pulls off his suit jacket, carefully smoothing the crumpled fabric before hanging it in the closet. For a moment, it seems like heâs going to let it go⊠until his gaze drifts back to you.
You can tell his patience is fraying, and youâre proven right when he asks again, âWhat did you mean by that? When you said you wouldnât want to stop me from anyone⊠what was that supposed to mean?â
You finally manage to tug the strap loose. The heel drops to the floor with a muted thump. âIt was nothing.â
âI donât think youâd say something like that if it was nothing.â
Your focus shifts to the other shoe. âJust drop it, Spencer.â
"How am I supposed to drop it when you're implying... whatever it is you're implying?"
You keep your eyes down, wrestling with the strap in silence. He cuts through the quiet before it has a chance to grow.
âDonât do that,â he says. âDonât brush it off like itâs nothing when it clearly means something. I need to know why you said that.â
You kick off the other heel and meet his gaze for the first time since you walked into the room. âYou really want to know?â
He reaches for his bow tie, yanking it loose it with one hard pull. âDo I want to know why youâre giving me this attitude right now? Yes. Yes, I do.â
Oh. So this is going to be that kind of fight.
You hadnât expected it to go here. Fights with Spencer are very rare, usually more a clash of misunderstandings that you both laugh about with limbs tangled between sheets by the time youâve made peace. But seeing him standing there with the tie hanging loosely around his neck and his five oâclock shadow casting an even darker line along his jaw, it hits you differently.
This is real. And this time, you donât know if brushing it off will fix anything.
âFine, letâs talk about it then.â You rise from the bed, tension carrying you to your feet. âEmilyâs speech tonight.â
His brow furrows, not quite a scowl, more a cautious crease as he processes your tone. âEmilyâs speech? What about it?â
âWhat do you remember of it?â
Thereâs a slight pause, and you can tell he's clearly caught off guard by the question. âShe mentioned how Rossi and Krystal are twin flames."
âRight. Two souls that are always meant to be together.â
His face is still marked by confusion, but thereâs something else creeping in. A subtle tightening around his eyes tells you heâs starting to piece it together. âI donât understand what that has to do withââ
âYou looked at JJ the second Emily made that speech,â you cut him off. âSpencer, you didnât even spare a glance at your future wife because you were too busy making eyes at the woman whoâs apparently been in love with you all these years.â
There. You said it. The words that have twisted around your insides all evening are finally out. And maybe they taste a little bitter, but at least they're not choking you anymore.
A second passes, then another, and by the time the fifth heartbeat ticks by, heâs standing there with his hand on his hip.
âThatâs not what happened."
âThen what was it?â you demand. "I sat beside you the whole day, you didn't even try to hide it."
âThatâs notâyouâre twisting things.â His hand moves through his hair, fingers digging in as his curls tumble forward onto his forehead. âAnd you know what happened that night wasnât real. It was a forced confession. She was under duress, we both were. JJ and I are just friends.â
You arch an eyebrow. âYou look at all your friends like that?â
His hand drops to his side. "I don't know what else you want me to say. JJ said what she did because she thought we might die. She has a family, and a husband who she loves. We already went through this, I don't understand why this is suddenly an issue again."
âMaybe I wouldnât be bringing this up if you didnât look at her tonight like you were ready to break up that marriage yourself.â
A flash of shock and anger crosses his features.
âThatâs not fair,â he snaps, his voice sharper than youâve heard in a while. âDo you really think Iâd disregard everything I have with you because of a look? Because of a history that has never gone anywhere?â
âI donât know what to think. It's not like it happened just once, I saw you looking at her the same way at the bar." You step forward, accidentally kicking your discarded heel as you move. "What were you two talking about, anyway?â
He lets out a tight breath. âShe was checking in on me. She⊠we havenât talked much since then.â
The corners of your mouth pull down. âMhm. Another round of truth or dare?â
âI canât believe youâre using that against me." His hair flops forward as he shakes his head, falling messily over his brow. "If there were anything unresolved with JJ, I wouldâve said something. But I didnât, because thereâs nothing there."
âAnd yet, sheâs always been an important part of your life, hasn't she?"
He tilts his head. "What are trying to say now?"
Your tongue darts out, briefly brushing your lips. You're not sure you should say it, but it feels like a door has swung openâa door to words that have been waiting for their moment.
You take a slow, deep breath, filling your lungs with as much air as you can.
âWhen you were in prison, you put her on your visiting list ahead of almost everyone else. Doesnât that say something about where she stands with you?â
He exhales sharply, dragging a hand over the back of his neck.
âSheâs part of the team,â he says, as if heâs trying to spell out something heâs already explained a dozen times. "There were strict rules, I already told you that only a handful of people were allowed to visit. It wasnât like I could just put anyone on the list.â
âBut you couldâve put me on there!â
The familiar burn of tears prickles at the edges of your eyes, but you blink them back, refusing to let them fall. An explanation or protest is poised on his lips, but youâre already moving, closing the distance with a single, decisive step. A finger lands on his chest.
âI was your girlfriend, Spencer. Were you that determined to keep me out? Was the thought of seeing me really so unbearable? Do you even understand how hard it was to sit at home, knowing you were locked up, feeling completely helpless? Do you have any idea how much I hated myself day after day because I couldnât do anything to help you?â
Your lips quiver. You feel like your heart is about to leap out of your throat.
âI was out here, just⊠waiting. Wondering if you were okay, if they were treating you alright, if you even had someone to talk to. And meanwhile, sheâs there, with you. Every single time, sheâs the one who gets to be by your side.â
Your nail digs into the fabric of his shirt.
âSo forgive me if I canât just let that go. Because when it mattered, it felt like you didnât want me to be there for you. And now⊠now I donât even know if you need me the way you seem to need her.â
Your breathing turns shallow, each inhale catching in your chest. The tears youâve been holding back are dangerously blurring your vision. You swallow the knot lodged in your throat.
âI need a minute.â
Without another word, you turn and walk out of the room, leaving him standing there in stunned silence. You slip back into the kitchen, leaning against the counter as you finally reach for the glass of water thatâs been sitting there untouched. You take a sip, barely feeling the cool water on your lips, when you hear his footsteps behind you.
âYou think I donât want you in my life?â he demands. âYou think I somehow need her more than I need you?â
You set the glass down. âWhat part of âI need a minuteâ do you not understand?â
âYou really expect me to wait quietly after you unloaded every doubt youâve ever had about us?â
You life your chin up. âYes, I do. I need space to think right now.â
âWhat more do you want to think about when youâve already convinced yourself that Iâm always going to fall short? Is it so hard to believe that youâre the one I want?â
âYou want to know why itâs so damn hard to believe?â You turn towards him. âBecause every time I try to let this go, thereâs always something. A confession. Thatâthat not-so-subtle look. And when those things happen, it reminds me that Iâm not as close to you as she is. Iâm fucking tired of feeling like Iâm fighting for space in your life.â
âDo you think I want you to feel like that? Do you think Iâd go through everything weâve been through if you didnât matter to me?â
âThen explain to me why I wasnât on that list!â you cry out. âExplain to me why, in one of the hardest times of your life, you couldnât make space for me?â
âBecause I was trying to protect you!â
A heavy, dreadful silence falls between you. He takes a step back, his eyelids fluttering shut briefly, and when he opens them again, thereâs a softness in his gaze that mirrors the gentleness now threading through his voice.
âI know it probably doesnât make sense to you, and maybe it never will, but I couldnât stand the idea of you seeing me like that. Living through it was hard enough, but having you there, seeing me so helpless⊠It would have crushed me. I didnât want that to be your memory of me.â
His Adamâs apple dips as he swallows, a quick, almost anxious movement youâve witnessed countless times.
âAnd when JJ came to see me,â he continues, âthe way the inmates looked at her, the things they said after she left⊠it was disgusting. I couldnâtâwouldnâtâlet that happen to you. I couldnât live with thought of you being subjected to that because of me.â
You lower your head with a sigh. âI donât care if they looked. I donât care what they wouldâve thought.â
âBut I care,â he fires back, taking a step forward. âBecause you mean more to me than anyone. All I wanted was to keep you safe, and maybe I didn't handle it right, maybe I made the wrong call... but it was only because Iâ" His voice drops into an even more gentle note. "Because I love you."
Your heart stumbles, an uneven beat that feels almost bruised, pounding hard against your ribs.
"I-I love you so much. More than I know how to put into words." The ache in your chest sharpens as his hands come up to cup your cheeks. "I don't like fighting with you. I hate it, actually. I hate seeing you look at me like this."
You also hate the way heâs looking at you. Thereâs a depth to his annoyingly pretty eyes that makes it impossible to hold up your defenses without feeling them crumble. You let your eyes flutter closed.
âWhy donât we⊠call it a night?â He suggests. âLetâs lie down. We donât have to talk about this now.â
The blackness behind your eyelids does little to quiet your mind. Nor does his voice. Or his touch. Instead of offering peace, his presence throws every glance, every moment of tension from tonight into sharper relief.
You draw in a breath, trying to find some comfort in his palms against your cheeks. Yet, even this canât smooth away the doubt thatâs settled in. With a resigned sigh, you release the breath youâve been holding along with the words that have been pressing at the back of your throat.
âYou havenât explained it to me.â
The shadows in his gaze seem to deepen when you open your eyes.
âWhat do you mean?â
âWeâve been going in circles, but you havenât explained to me what happened tonight,â you say quietly. âWhy did you look at her, Spencer?â
His thumb absently strokes your cheek in a way that feels more hesitant than reassuring.
âBe honest with me,â you press. âWas there a part of you, even the tiniest part, that still wanted something with her? Some small part of you that⊠wondered what it might be like?â
The silence between you presses in from all sides, broken only by the faint hum of the refrigerator and the distant, muffled ticking of a clock on the wall. Itâs the kind of quiet that sharpens even the smallest sounds, yet his lack of response feels like the loudest thing of all.
You pull back from him with an incredulous laugh.
âUnbelievable.â The word barely makes it past your lips, then louder as you start to move, pacing the length of the apartment. âUnbelievable.â
âWait,â he says, trailing after you, âI didnât even say anything.â
You stop short by the couch and whip around to face him.
âYou didnât need to! Youâyou hesitated," you stammer, searching his face for any flicker of denial, but itâs there, plain as day, that split-second of doubt you caught. âThat was already an answer.â
He inches closer. A hand closes in on you. âPleaseââ
You flinch, pulling back, and every muscle in your body tightens. âDonât. Donât touch me right now.â
His hand falls to his side. âPlease⊠let me explain."
You watch his hand drop, fingers twitching like theyâre not sure if they should retreat or reach out again, but he keeps them there, hovering in some invisible line youâve drawn. He looks at you with those big, pleading eyes, and for a split second, you almost feel bad for him.
Almost.
A bitter sort of smile tugs at the corner of your mouth. "So now you want to explain?"
He takes that as permission, and his voice comes in low, almost cautious. "When I first started at the BAU, I had⊠maybe a crush. A passing thing, barely anything, really. But that was fourteen years ago.â His hand scrubs through his hair in a frustrated sweep. âFourteen years."
Your brows pull into a frown. âWhy am I only hearing about this now?â
âBecause it was nothing,â he says, almost too quickly. âI was young, it didnât matter. I didnât think it was worth bringing up.â
âOh, I get it now. All those old feelings came rushing back the night she confessed, didnât they?â
He mirrors your frown, a visible line of tension etching itself between his brows as he protests, âItâs nothing like that.â
âThen what is it?â you press. âBecause from where Iâm standing, it looks a whole lot like youâre caught between us because some part of you is still hung up on what mightâve been with her."
He shifts uncomfortably, and you notice the muscles in his jaw clenching the moment his gaze falters, dipping away for just a heartbeat before he looks back at you.
âItâs not that I donât know what I want,â he starts to explain. âI didnât expect her to say those things, and, yes, it threw me off for a moment. But that doesnât mean Iâm looking back, or that I want her. I want you.â
You shake your head, feeling a tired sort of frustration settle over you, and walk over to the couch. The soft cushions give slightly beneath you as you sink down.
âIf you really wanted me, this wouldnât be happening. You wouldnât have let her get into your head like that. And now, you expect to believe that none of it meant anything?â
Heâs quick to follow, closing the distance in a few tense steps. âItâs notââ His hands flex open and close at his sides. âYouâre acting like one single look tonight is enough to decide Iâm not committed to you. Do you really think Iâd let some confession I didnât even ask for get in the way of what we have?â
âItâs not just about that single look. Itâs the way she could say something and suddenly, youâre pulled back to something you swore youâd put behind you. How am I supposed to feel secure when she still has that power over you?â
âAnd what am I supposed to do, then? Apologize for things I donât even feel anymore?â
You flinch at the sharpness in his voice. A low, frustrated noise rumbles in his chest when you donât respond.
âYouâre always going to question me no matter what I say, arenât you?"
You glance over at him, catching the disheveled strands of hair falling over his forehead, and it pulls you back to that night he came home after that dreadful night. Heâd walked in looking worn in a way youâd never seen before, his whole posture weighted down as if he was carrying more than just the fear of being held hostage.
You remember sitting with him on this same couch, fingers brushing his, and asking what was bothering him.
JJ said she loved me.
Your heart lurched, a quick, quiet ache that you tried to swallow down. Really?
Donât worry. Itâs not true.
But with that same haunted look in his eyes right now, you canât help but wonder if it really was just a well-intentioned lie.
âOne glance and youâre accusing me of things that are never going to happen,â he starts again. âDo you really think so little of me? After everything weâve shared, you really think Iâd betray you like that?â
In true honesty, you donât believe he would ever cross that line. But the doubts still linger, fed by those small hesitations, the moments when his eyes seem somewhere else. Itâs not that you think heâd betray you. Itâs that a part of him might still be holding onto something he wonât let you see.
âItâs like you donât know me at all.â
Now those words you might actually believe.
âMaybe I donât,â you say quietly, eyes drifting to the ring on your finger. You twist it absently, remembering the night he proposed. How heâd stumbled over his words, his cheeks flushing as he tried to make the moment perfect but ended up rambling in that endearing, nervous way of his. Youâd laughed, reassured him that it was exactly right, that you didnât need grand gestures. All you needed was him.
And yet, you donât think he needs you as much you need him.
A hollow ache settles around your hand as you slip the ring off.
âWhat are you doing?â
You stare down at the gold band in your palm, blinking back the sting of tears.
âTell me what youâre doing.â
Panic. Desperation. Thereâs a sudden rush of melancholy in his voice, a heaviness that wasnât there a moment ago.
You swallow the lump in your throat. âI donât know,â you whisper. âIâI donât know anything right now.â
His face crumples, and in a sudden, almost instinctive movement, he drops down to his knees.
âNo, no, you do know me. Iâm sorry⊠Iâm so sorry. Isnât thisââ he stops, then dips his head, trying to catch your gaze. âIsnât that what couples do? They argue, they mess things up⊠but they work through it, right? Right?â
You look down, feeling the cool weight of the ring pressing into your skin.
âSpencerâŠâ you begin. âI trust you. I do, and Iâm sorry if I made it seem like I didnât. But⊠I need to feel secure. I⊠I need to know that I donât have to wonder or worry about where I stand. I never thought youâd be the one to make me doubt that.â
Thereâs a sharp ache in your chest.
âI didnât think it could hurt this much. Not from you.â
Your pulse ring in your ear.
âI canâtââ The words catch in your throat, a stinging burn rising as you force them out. âI canât be your wife when Iâm constantly questioning if I have all of you. When I feel like⊠thereâs always a part of you that isnât mine.â
âIâm yours, honey. Iâm always yours.â
âI wish I could believe that.â
Thereâs a slight falter in his voice. âDonâtâplease donât do thisââ
âI canât keep pretending it doesnât hurt.â
He falls silent, and for a moment, the only sound is the rough, uneven rhythm of both your breaths filling the space between you. Then, like something inside him finally cracks open, he sinks down, pressing his forehead against your lap. The sudden weight of him forces a broken sob from your throat.
âPlease,â he begs, fingers clutching at your sides. His chin presses deep into your thigh. âTell me how to fix this. I canâtâ I canât lose you.â
âSpenceâŠâ
âI love you,â he blurts out, the words tumbling from him in a rush. âI love you.â
But what is love, really? Is it just a word people reach for when theyâve run out of things to say, a way to patch over bruised hearts and broken promises? Or should it feel like something more solid, something that doesnât leave you questioning or aching? You canât even tell anymore.
You wonder, too, if maybe youâve been wrong all along. If this feeling in your chest isnât love but something dressed up as it, something that fills the gaps while slowly hollowing you out. Because here you are, clinging to a love that somehow makes you feel like youâre both needed and unseen. Everything and nothing all at once.
You feel like a fool.
âI want to go to bed.â
His head lifts from your lap, a flash of surprise darting across his face, as though he hadnât expected you to say anything at all, let alone that. âYeah, okay, letâs go to bed. Weâll⊠weâll figure this out in the morning.â
âIâd rather be alone.â
The words hit him visibly. His mouth opens, an argument forming there, but he catches himself, letting the silence stretch before he nods slowly.
âThen⊠Iâll stay out here. On the couch,â he offers softly. âJust⊠in case you need anything.â
A pang cuts through you at the thought of him stretched out on the couch, his legs too long, his shoulders folded in to fit the cramped space. But the idea of sharing a bed right now feels impossible.
You reach down, holding out the ring towards him.
âNo,â he says firmly, gently pushing your hand away. âDonât do that. This⊠it doesnât mean weâre giving up. It just means we need time. Thatâs all.â
Youâre not sure if your mind will change in the morning. The ring presses into your skin, but finally, you close your hand around it, nodding faintly before you peel away from him.
The tears start the moment the bedroom door clicks shut behind you. It spills over in a jagged, helpless cry that sounds nothing like you imagined heartbreak might sound. Itâs messy, a kind of aching grief that feels too big for your chest, clawing its way out with no grace at all. You can practically hear how pathetic you sound, and yet you canât seem to stop.
Even when the hem of your dress trails across the floor. Even when you finally collapse onto his side of the bed. Thereâs no stopping you. With the ring sitting cold in your hand, your tears keep coming, soaking into the pillow as you cling to the last trace of him woven into the sheets.
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid angst#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x female reader#spencer reid fem!reader#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#angst#angst with no happy ending
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SINK IN ME WITH YOUR DOG TEETH!
àłââ· pair: logan howlett x fem!reader
àłââ· wc: 7.0k
àłââ· contains: 18+ SMUT MDNI, swearing, established relationship, feral nasty unhinged logan yes god, logan only slightly losing his humanity but like itâs a lot less sad than it sounds, maybe some toxic relationship dynamics but who cares itâs porn, predator/prey dynamics, p in v, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, HEAVY scent kink (like donât make me say itâŠbut beware of some very subtle armpit stuff), pain kink, biting is just another form of sexual penetration guys, blood, so much come and come talk, creampie, squirting, this is just gross, porn w/o plot, no use of y/n.
àłââ· nat's note: hiâŠhi yâallâŠso hereâs the winner of the poll and i need everyone to just hear me out for a second! walk with me! this is probably the most unhinged thing iâve ever written, like omg those tags. this upsetting depravity was inspired by this post by @stupidfuckingwindow and this post by @monimccoythings which both altered the chemical balances of my brain so fiercely i blacked out for a while and when i came to this was in front of me. merry christmas and happy holidays! take this not at all christmas themed fic as my present to you my precious angels. kisses!
dividers by lovely @saradika-graphics!
you notice a strange shift in logan...
Thereâs something off with Logan.
The changes were subtle, but youâve been with him long enough now to pick up on them. And while he's always had a raw, untamed edge to him, a sort of wildness simmering just beneath the surface, this feels different.
It started with the way he would go quiet for longer than usual, like his mind was too far away for you to reachâlost to somewhere distant.
Logan has always been quiet, but this was a different kind of silence. Conversations that used to flow with ease now hang in the air, unfinished. All of his responses reduced to nothing but low grunts and clipped words.
And he was more territorial over you, so much more.
His hand has started to linger at the small of your back or the curve of your waist for a lot longer when youâre in public, his strong grip firm enough to remind youâand anyone nearbyâthat youâre his.
He would fume at even the slightest hint of someone else's interest in you, a low warning growl escaping his throat to anyone who spared you a second glance.
It wasnât just the physical closeness, though. It was also in the way Logan has started to watch youâhis sharp gaze a never ending constant. An all imposing, heavily looming shadow.
There were even times late at night when you thought he was asleep, that youâd find him staring at you in the dark.
Not the usual, protective gaze heâd have when he thought you were vulnerable, but something deeper, more intense. His breathing would be slow, measured, but there was this energy, this tension that hummed between the two of you.
The nights he did manage to sleep, heâd hold you close to him, his grip iron-tight, his face buried in your hair. If you tried to shift away, even for a second, heâd stir, his arms pulling you back with a quiet, possessive growl that sent a shiver down your spine.
There were bite marks on your neck when you'd wake up, small enough to pass off as nothingâat least, thatâs what you tried to tell yourself, but each one felt like a brand. They were deeper, more deliberate.
Then there was the scentâhis scent.
You swear itâs gotten stronger, more potent. It clings to you like a second skin, lingering in your clothes, your sheets, even your hair. An intoxicating blend of leather and pine and musk that makes your head spin.
Each time you left the house without him, heâd pin you to the mattress and rub himself all over you before begrudgingly let you walk out the door. His hands or his face running along the delicate skin of your neck, of your stomach, of your wrists.
Everywhere.
He was claiming you in waysânew waysâthat left you both exhilarated and confused.
There were other things too, smaller but no less odd things that were starting to add up.
More and more of your clothes have slowly started to go missing over the past few weeks. Each morning when you open any of your dresser drawers, it seems like there are less and less filling them.
Shirts, shorts, socks, bras, panties. All things youâve found shoved under his side of the mattress or tucked under his pillow. The most memorable hiding place was the front pocket of his leather jacket, your favorite pair of panties haphazardly stuffed inside.
You havenât said anything about it yet, unsure if you should be concerned or amused.
It isnât like heâs truly hurting anyone.
Heâs just actingâŠstrange.
A part of you canât help but be drawn to itâthe new intensity, the new rawness. There was something undeniably magnetic about the way he clings to you, like you're his anchor in a world constantly shifting beneath his feet.
Youâve seen Logan at his worstâbloody, broken, and lost. But this? Itâs never been like this before.
Whatever it is, it has its claws in him deep, and by extension, you.
You just got home from a run, barely walking through the door and kicking your shoes off when a call of your name rings out from the bedroom.
Loganâs tone stops you in your tracksâlow and rough, like gravel crunching underfoot.
Your reaction is nearly instant, breath hitching in your chest, heart skipping a beat as a warmth that has nothing to do with the temperature outside starts to pulse through you steadily.
Itâs like youâve become reprogrammed to respond to him this way, your body reacting before your mind can even catch up as his deep, familiar voice rolls over the sweaty expanse of your skin.
You drop your bag at your feet and slowly make your way to the bedroom, a bead of sweat trailing down your temple as you push the door open.
All the curtains are closed, the only light in the room a yellow glow that shines from your bedside lamp.Â
Logan is sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning back on his palms, but thereâs nothing casual about his posture.
His gaze is locked on you, dark and intense, tracking every step you take, like a lion stalking a gazelle as it drinks from a watering hole.
âDidnât tell me where you were going.â His eyes gleam as the lampâs rays reflect off of them, his pupils dilated so he can see you better in the darkness that shrouds your room.
You swallow hard, trying to be as nonchalant as you can as your feet carry you to your dresser. âI went for a run,â you reply, your voice a little too steady, a little too casual.
You tug open the top drawer, rifling around for a clean shirt with a little more focus than necessary to distract yourself from the way his eyes burn a hole into your back.
âYou didnât tell me,â Logan repeats, his voice a low, dangerous rumble that sends a shiver down your spine. âYou know I donât like it when I donât know where my girl is.â
Thereâs a sharp edge to his words, but itâs not angerâitâs something far more primal.
The energy in the room crackles like a storm about to break, and you feel it in your bones, in the way your skin prickles under his gaze.
"I was only gone for an hour," you say, your voice measured, careful. "You were still asleep when I left, I didnât want to wake you."Â
You chance a glance over your shoulder, and the sight of him steals the air from your lungs.
Logan hasnât moved an inch from his perch on the edge of the bed, but the sheer force of his presence keeps you rooted in place, heart hammering in your chest.
âHmm, thatâs real sweet, baby,â he drawls, sitting up straighter now, leaning forward.
The motion makes him seem larger somehow, shoulders broad and imposing in the dim light. His tongue drags slowly across his bottom lip, and the way his gaze rakes over you feels like a physical touch, leaving a trail of heat in its wake.
Your fingers still in the drawer, fabric slipping from your grasp as your pulse pounds in your ears. You canât bring yourself to look away from him, caught in the snare of his sharp, predatory focus.
You turn slowly, arms falling to hang limply at your sides. "I wasn't gone long."
Logan tilts his head, a low, amused sound rumbling in his chest as he rises to his feet with a fluid, deliberate ease that makes your stomach flip.
âDidnât feel that way to me, darlinâ.â His voice is a deep, gravelly purr. It sends a shiver down your spine. âFelt like forever.â
His eyes never leave yours as he crosses the room, the green completely swallowed by the dark black of his pupils as they seep into the color like oil spilling out over the surface of a lake.
Youâve never seen him like this before, so hungry.
"Logan," you say slowly, back pressed tightly against your dresser. "You're really starting to freak me out."Â
Logan hums idly, head cocked to the side as he watches you. "I can hear your heartbeat."Â
His tone is calmer now, but thereâs still a dangerous edge to it, like a knife pressed just lightly enough against the skin not to break it.
Your pulse races, heat simmering in your stomach despite the slight edge of fear clawing its way through your chest.
He stops in front of you, so close that his scent invades your senses strong enough to make your knees feel like theyâre about to buckle beneath you.
âThereâs nothinâ to be scared of baby,â he mutters quietly, thick arms coming up to cage you against the dresser.Â
Your hold on the wood tightens, your knuckles turning white with the strength of your grip.
Itâs almost chemical, the way you can feel your body start to give in to him. The thought fills you with as much arousal as it does unease, a heady combination that churns in your stomach.
You muster up enough will to breathlessly nod in agreement, a quiet submission.
Loganâs lips quirk into the faintest smirk, his heavy gaze dipping to the curve of your neck, lingering on the rapid flutter of your pulse. âThatâs my good girl.â
Any words you might say get caught in your throat as you stare up at Logan, wide eyed and steadily leaking wetness into the gusset of your panties.Â
His nostrils flare, and a knowing sound rumbles from somewhere dark and low in his chest as his eyes flutter shut on a deep inhale.
Your thighs clench together instinctively, the overwhelming need to be filled wracking through your body like thunder.
When Logan opens his eyes again, thereâs no trace of anything but pure animal need. The muscles in his jaw working furiously under his skin in time with the strain of his forearms still caging you in place.
âYeahâŠâ he trails off slowly, tone both condescending and soothing all at once. âI know youâre not all that scared, honey.â
He leans in, tearing a small whimper from your throat at the way his beard scrapes against your cheek as he crowds you.
His breath fans over the shell of your ear, hot and enticing as they brush against your skin when he speaks again. âI can smell how fuckinâ wet you are.â
Loganâs words send a sharp jolt through you, a broken moan falling from your parted lips as your cheeks heat up so fiercely itâs as if youâve been slapped.
Your body moves without thinking, pressing up into his hard, unyielding frame like you canât help itâand maybe you canât.
âLâLoganâŠâ Your voice trembles, a weak thing that dissolves in your throat as he noses along the skin of your neck.
His hands come down to rest on your waist, palms rough and possessive and warm and a perfect fit where they lay over your curves, anchoring you in place.
âShhh.â His lips trail down your jaw, leaving wet kisses in their wake. âYou donât gotta say a thing, princess. I know what you need.â
Loganâs hands slip lower, cupping the backs of your thighs with ease before hoisting you onto the dresser like you weigh nothing. The sharp edge of the wood digs into your legs, but you canât find it in yourself to care about the discomfort.
Your hands go to his shoulders without much of a second thought, nails digging into corded muscle as you try to keep your balance.Â
Loganâs hands stay on your thighs, his grip strong enough for you to feel the power behind them without hurting you.
He noses along your sweaty skin like a hot-tempered hound, desperately inhaling greedy lungfuls of your scent wherever he can get it.
Behind your ear, in the crook of your neck, along your collarbone, the exposed swell of your breasts, dangerously close to your underarm.
He groans against your shoulder, a full body shiver jolting his frame. âSmell so fuckinâ good darlinâ, drives me goddamn crazy.â
You canât form a coherent thought, let alone a response. His mouth finally finds yours, claiming you with a ferocity that steals your breath.
Logan's tongue slides against yours, a messy, desperate kiss that has you moaning into his mouth, your fingers tangling in his hair to pull him closer.
Itâs filthy, fueled by nothing but raw need and desperation. Spit drips from your chin to trail down the length of your throat until it gathers in the valley of your breasts. Whether itâs his or yours, it doesnât matter.
Itâs a perfect mix of the both of you, lewd and messy in the way it claims your skin.
Logan breaks the kiss with a low moan, his chest heaving the same as yours as you both inhale harsh lungfuls of air.
His lips are red and raw, swollen in a way that your own must mirror. A string of saliva keeps you connected, drooping thinner and thinner in the space between you until it breaks under the weight of gravity.
Logan doesnât give you long to catch your breath. His lips trail down your jaw and latch onto the sensitive spot just below your ear, teeth scraping against skin before he sucks hard enough to leave a mark.Â
Your head falls back against the wall as his mouth moves lower, dragging the strap of your sports bra down with his teeth.
The way heâs actingâlike a man crazed, like he needs you more than he needs airâhas you dizzy with need. But there's a part of you thatâs still trying to hold onto some semblance of control, to hold onto something familiar in the chaos.
Itâs only then that you realize this may be a bad idea.Â
Whatever this is, is clearly an accumulation of all the things youâve noticed over the last couple of weeks.
Maybe indulging Logan will only make things worse, like giving in to him when heâs in such a state could be the tipping point to a much deeper and all consuming issue buried somewhere inside of him.
It canât possibly be healthy for him to act like this, and it canât be healthy for you to bask in it as much as you are.
âWâwait.â Your thighs slip shut, hands coming up to push at Loganâs shoulders weakly.
Thereâs no real force behind your ministrations and you keep your neck bared to him all the while, but he stops anyway, rearing back with a displeased noise.Â
His face hovers inches from yours, and for a moment, you swear he looks almost painedâhis brows furrowing, jaw tightening as though reigning himself in is a Herculean effort.
His hands remain on your thighs, trembling slightly as he keeps himself rooted in place, clearly fighting every instinct roaring through him to just take what he wants.
âYou donât want me to stop, sweetheart,â he murmurs, voice low and gravelly, a stark contrast to the restraint in his expression. His thumbs stroke idly against your skin, his touch soothing even as his words drip with pure, feral confidence. âI can smell the way your pussyâs achinâ for it. I can feel it. Youâre shakinâ for me.â
You areâyour whole body feels like itâs on the verge of unraveling under his touch, your resolve crumbling faster than youâd like to admit.
Everything you were going to say gets clogged in your brain on the way out, leaving you silent as you hold his gaze.
You donât even have the capability to feel embarrassed at the way you blanch, lost in the way his scent attacks your senses, in the rough drag of his palms over your bare thighs, in the way your lips still tingle from his kiss.
Logan sighs, long and all suffering as his hands come to rest on both of your shut knees. The impatient raise of his brow paired with the dissatisfied curl of his lips is enough to shake you to the core.
âNow, you gonna show it to me?â His fingers drum along your knee, his patience thinning. âOr am I gonna have to make you.â
And it may sound like one, but you know itâs not a question.Â
Itâs a choice.
Your mind races, hands clenching and unclenching on Loganâs shoulders as you weigh your options. His own hands squeeze your knees, just hard enough to let you feel it in your bones.
You spread your legs.
Logan doesnât waste a second, dropping to his knees in front of you with a satisfied rumble and a predatory gleam in his eyes. His hands grip your thighs, pushing them even wider. Wide enough to make you feel exposed, vulnerable in the best way.Â
Your head dips, chin falling to your chest as you watch the way Logan takes up the space between your legs. Your shorts are soaked, fabric so drenched that itâs melded to the shape of your cunt, your puffy folds on display for his greedy eyes.
âFuck,â Logan breathes, his voice cracking like a whip in the quiet room. His hands find your waistband, and the dull sound of fabric ripping rings out.
The sturdy cotton tears like tissue paper in his hands, the scraps of your shorts falling carelessly to the floor, leaving you in nothing but the light blue panties you slipped on before your run.Â
The way he gazes at the space between your thighs is feral, unrestrained, like heâs a man starving for his next mealâand youâre it.
âLook at thatâŠâ Logan mutters, almost to himself as he runs his knuckle along the wet cotton of your panties. His touch is featherlight, barely any pressure at all, but itâs enough.
Your breath hitches, a sharp intake of air at the teasing touch, and your hips instinctively cant forward, silently begging for more.Â
Logan's eyes flick up to yours, a dark smirk curling his lips like he knows exactly what heâs doing to youâand how much you're already falling apart.
âEager fuckinâ thing,â he drawls, voice rough with arousal. He leans forward, his hot breath ghosting over your soaked panties, sending a shiver racing down your spine. âYou want me to give your pussy some kisses, baby?â
You open your mouth to respond, but the words never make it out. Loganâs lips press against the damp fabric, placing a kiss right over where your covered clit throbs with need.
Your head falls back to rest on the wall behind you, a shocked moan bursting from your lips.
âLogan.â His name is pulled from your mouth like a plea, but he doesnât let up, the sharp edge of his teeth scraping over the sensitive bundle of nerves hidden beneath the soaked barrier of your underwear.
âHmm?â He hums against you, the vibration sending shockwaves through your core. âThought you wanted me to stop?â
The taunt is maddening, the rasp of his voice and the teasing flicks of his tongue combining to unravel you piece by piece.Â
You shake your head furiously, thighs trembling where they rest on his broad shoulders. âN-noâdonât stop. Please, donât stop.â
Logan chuckles darkly, his hands sliding up your thighs to hook his fingers into the thin waistband of your panties.Â
âThatâs more like it,â he taunts. With a single, sharp tug, the ruined fabric joins the scraps of your shorts on the floor.
Logan groans at the sight of your bare cunt, slick with your juices and flushed with arousal. His mouth waters, his tongue running along the sharp points of his canines in anticipation.
Youâre already so ready for him.
âYou smell so fuckinâ good,â he growls, leaning in to drag his nose along the slick seam of your folds. The deep inhale he takes is obscene, sending a ripple of anticipation through your entire body. âKnow that you taste even better.â
Logan licks a broad stripe through your folds, groaning like the taste of you is enough to satisfy him completely. His hands grip your thighs tighter, keeping you spread and utterly at his mercy as he begins to work in earnest.
He alternates between laving the tip of his tongue over your clit and dipping down to fuck into you, his beard scraping along the skin of your thighs in a way thatâs almost too much. Your head falls back, hitting the wall with a soft thud as your vision blurs.
âGod, Logan.â You squirm on the vanity, but he holds you steady, growling low and deep into your core like your moaning only spurs him on.
âThatâs it,â he mutters between licks, his words unmistakably smug. âMake those pretty little sounds for me, baby.â
Logan circles your clit with the flat of his tongue, alternating between firm, deliberate strokes and light, teasing flicks that leave you gasping for air.
You cry out, fingers tangling in his thick, unruly hair as he repeats the motions, your thighs starting to tremble on either side of his head.
Every time your hips buck against him, he growls, the vibrations of it sinking into your skin and amplifying the pleasure coursing through your veins.
âStay still,â he orders, his voice muffled against your dripping core but no less commanding. His hands tighten on your thighs, holding you in place with an unrelenting grip. âYouâre not in charge, sweetheart.â
You whimper, your whole body trembling as you fight the urge to grind against his face. But itâs impossible to stay still when heâs licking into you like a man possessed, his mouth working you over with an intensity that has your vision going hazy.
âI know, you're just so damn needy, arenât you, baby?â He drawls , pulling back just enough to speak, his lips glistening with your arousal. âYou love this, hmm? Lettinâ me take care of you?â
You can only nod, words failing you as his fingers replace his mouth, sliding through your spit soaked cunt.
âYouâre so goddamn pretty down here.â Logan mutters, almost to himself, spreading your puffy, abused folds obscenely wide.Â
He teases your entrance, fingertips dipping into your warm heat only to retract a second later. You whine, high and embarrassing as your hips twitch with want.
Logan watches your face closely, his expression equal parts smug and adoring as he finally sinks one thick finger inside you, curling it just right.
âFuck,â you breathe, your head lolling back he adds a second finger, stretching you in a way that has your toes curling. He pumps them slowly at first, each deliberate thrust sending waves of pleasure radiating through your body.
âTakinâ me so well,â Logan murmurs, his thumb brushes over your clit, drawing tight circles that make your thighs tremble. âSo tight and wet for me. Youâre makinâ me crazy, darlinâ.â
Your moans grow louder, unrestrained, as he picks up the pace, his fingers plunging into you with a rhythm that has your skin burning hotter and hotter.
Loganâs mouth returns to you with renewed fervor, tongue and lips working in perfect tandem as he drags you closer to the edge.Â
He shakes his head back and forth like an animal, his nose rubbing up against your clit deliciously as buries his tongue as deep in your cunt as itâll go. The coarse hair of his beard scratches the sensitive skin of your inner thighs red and raw.
You canât think, canât breathe, your entire world narrowing down to the feel of his mouth on you.Â
âLoganââ Your voice cracks, your head falling back against the wall as the spring of pleasure inside you winds tighter and tighter, threatening to snap at any moment. âIâmâfuckâIâm so closeââ
âGood,â he growls, pumping his fingers in time with the flicks of his tongue. âI can feel you squeezinâ me. I want you to come for me, baby. Wanna taste every fuckinâ drop.â
Youâre powerless to resist.
You cry out, thighs clamping shut on either side of his head as you come on his tongue. Your body shakes so violently you knock a few things off the vanity, the distant sound of glass shattering hardly registers.Â
Logan growls, low and dragged from the back of his throat in such a way that makes it reverberate in the space between your legs. His own arms come up, grip strong and encouraging as he forces your legs around his head even tighter than before.
He doesnât stop, doesnât let up, licking and sucking and pumping his fingers to drag you through the aftershocks like a man obsessed.Â
When you finally come back to yourself, panting and trembling, Loganâs holding your shaking thighs apart, his mouth still pressed to you in soft, languid strokes.
âFuckinâ perfect,â he mutters, voice rough and gravelly as he presses a final kiss to your oversensitive clit.Â
Loganâs hands slide up to your hips, gripping tight as he rises to his feet, towering over you with that same dark, predatory gleam in his eyes.Â
His lips are even redder than before, swollen and slick with your juices. His beard is damp and shining in the low light, and the smug, satisfied smirk on his face sends another pulse of heat through your already spent body.
âGood girl,â he purrs, not even bothering to wipe his mouth before leaning in to capture your lips in a kiss thatâs all heat and possession.Â
You can taste yourself on his tongue, the salt and musk mingling with the raw hunger. Itâs filthy and intoxicating, and it leaves you gasping for air when he finally pulls away.
But Loganâs far from finished.
His hands slide under your ass, lifting you off the dresser with ease. Your legs wrap around his waist instinctively as he carries you to the bed and tosses you on it with little preamble.
Your back hits the mattress hard enough to have you bouncing on it once, twice, three times before Logan is crawling up to blanket your body with his.Â
The heavy weight of his metal laced bones sink you into the soft plushness, keeping you stuck beneath him with nowhere to go.
Which you know is exactly where he wants you.
He slots his hips between yours, dragging the straining jut of his cock along your sensitive cunt. You can feel the warmth of him even through the thick material of his sweats, a scalding plane of heat that makes your cunt ache with need.Â
You can feel the damp patch where his clothed tip nudges against your clit, and you know from that alone heâs already soaked through the cotton with pre-come. His cock leaking like a faucet in the harsh confines of his bottoms while he ate you out.
âFeel that?â Logan asks, voice hoarse as he buries his head in your neck. âThatâs all âcause of you, baby. Got me drippinâ like I busted a damn pipe.â
The sharp intake of air you suck in at his words does nearly nothing to help your breathlessness, your desperation bleeding through as your frantic hands push at the waistband of his bottoms. âOff. Off.â
Logan huffs a rough laugh against your neck, his warm breath skating across your skin as his lips ghost over your pulse. âSo fuckinâ bossy.â
He doesnât move to help you, not right away, savoring the way your hands fumble and tug, your frustration bubbling over in breathy little gasps.
âYou want it that bad, huh?â he teases, the rough timbre of his voice a stark contrast to the gentleness of his lips pressing along your jaw. âLook at you, so damn needy. Canât even wait for me to get my cock out.â
You only tug harder, patience nonexistent as your fingers curl into the waistband. âPlease, Logan. Donât tease.â
âAlright, alright.â Logan finally gives in, sitting back just enough to push them over his hips, freeing his cock.
It springs free, slapping against his stomach heavy and slick with pre-come, the ruddy tip glistening in the low light.
The sight alone has you clenching around nothing, a devastatingly desperate noise falls from your lips as the ache between your thighs builds to an almost unbearable throb.
He makes quick work of ripping his shirt over his head, carelessly tossing it behind him before heâs back on you.
This time, when he bullies his hips in between yours, there's nothing separating you.
You feel every inch of his cock as it grinds along the seam of your cunt. The velvety skin is almost scalding as it drags against your own, the drool of pre-come only adding more to your own wetness.
Logan presses you into the mattress harder, rutting against your cunt almost desperately as he noses along your damp, overheated skin.
His mouth is everywhere. Sucking marks where the junction of your neck meets your shoulder, lapping up the sweat that pools in the valley of your breasts, licking a filthy stripe across the side of your face that has your cheeks burning.
He buries his nose in the sweaty skin of your underarm, whining and panting like a surly dog all over again. Each breath is hot and wet against you, and it only seems to make him hungrier, greedier. His cock blurts even more pre-come onto your skin with every inhale he takes.
It should gross you out.Â
It should be utterly mortifying, but the sight of Logan like this only leaves you thrumming with want.Â
His desperation, the raw, unfiltered way he takes you inâlike he canât get close enough, canât have enough of youâhas your pulse racing and your mind spinning out of control.Â
You feel his nose press harder against your skin, the heat of his breath fanning over you as he groans, a deep, guttural sound that reverberates right through you.Â
âFuck,â he rasps, voice gravelly and broken. âYou smell so goddamn good. Canât help it. Canât fuckinâââ His hips jerk, the weight of his cock sliding slickly against your cunt, bumping up against your clit in a way that makes you shiver.Â
âLogan,â you whimper, your hands clutching at his broad shoulders, nails digging into his skin. Your hips lift instinctively, chasing the friction, the relief, the unbearable stretch you know only he can give you. âPlease, I canât take it anymore. I need youâneed you so bad.â
He smirks, his lips curling against your skin as he nips at the curve of your jaw. âNeed me, huh?â he murmurs, his tone dark and teasing. âNeed my cock inside you, stretchinâ you open? Tell me, baby. Tell me how bad you need it.â
âSo bad.â Your hips tilt up instinctively, desperate for him to push inside. The head of his cock catches at your entrance, the blunt pressure sending a jolt of electricity through your body. âNeed you so bad it hurts. Pleaseâplease donât make me wait.â
Logan growls, a feral sound. âSuch a good girl when you beg for me.â he snarls, big hands gripping your hips hard enough to bruise so he can flip you on your front, gently manhandling you until you're on all fours. âGonna fill you up, princess.â
His hands knead the soft flesh of your ass as he lines himself up behind you. The weight of his cock presses against your entrance, slick and ready, and for a moment, he just stays there, teasing.
Your arms shake beneath you, elbows locked as you force yourself to stay still, patient.
The head of his cock nudges against you, spreading your slickness, and your body trembles in anticipation. He sinks himself into you in one deep, unrelenting thrust.
The stretch is instant, the burn delicious as he pushes inside, inch by inch, filling you in one fluid, devastating stroke. A choked gasp spills from your lips as he bottoms out, his cock seated so deep you swear you can feel him in your stomach.
âFuck.â Logan stills, his cock pulsing inside you as he lets you adjust, but the restraint is fleeting.Â
His hands glide up your back, palms rough and grounding as they map every curve, every quiver of your body. He starts grinding his hips in slow circles, pressing every inch of his cock along your velvety walls.Â
Your head drops between your arms, brows pinched together as you take in greedy lungfuls of air. Youâll never get used to this, the way Logan fills you so perfectly, no matter how many times itâs been.
âCome on, baby.â Logan leans down to press a soft kiss between your shoulder blades, his lips fever hot. âYou wanted to fuck me so bad you could hardly wait. Nowâs your chance, fuck me.â
It takes a few long seconds for his words to cunt through the molasses clouding your mind, the small thrust of his hips hinting at what he wants you to do.
You let out a pitiful whimper, hands digging into your bedâs puffy comforter as you start rocking your hips.Â
You start slow, letting yourself build up a nice, steady rhythm as Logan purrs words of encouragement from behind you. His hands never leave your hips, thumbs rubbing soft circles over your skin as you start to pick up the pace.
âThatâs it,â he encourages darkly, giving the rippling muscle of your ass a sharp swat. âFind the fuckinâ spot, baby. Write your name on this cock, tell everyone who it belongs to.â
You cry out at the sting of his palm, bouncing yourself on his length impossibly faster. Your arms burn under the strain of your movements, but you canât stop chasing the high of pleasure that shoots up your spine.
The sound of skin on skin fills the room, a lewd slap slap slap as you fuck yourself on Loganâs cock like heâs a replacement for the cheap suction cup dildo collecting dust in a box hidden away in your closetâlike heâs nothing but a expertly shaped lump of silicon molded solely for your pleasure.
You can feel yourself getting close to the edge, and in nearly no time at all. The telltale coil buried deep in your belly winding tighter and tighter as you work yourself on Loganâs cock hard enough that the cheap frame of your bed thumps against the wall.
It might be embarrassing if you werenât so far gone already, so fuck drunk that the too loud moans falling from your lips hardly phase you.
It's like there's nothing but the feel of Logan inside you, bumping against that spot inside you that has stars shining behind your closed eyes.Â
âClose already?â Logan taunts from behind you, voice just the tiniest but breathless, but the way his cock pulses and jerks where itâs sheathed in your cunt lets you know heâs right there with you. âI know you are, honey. I can feel how sheâs squeezinâ me, so damn tight.â
His hands dig into your hips, not even waiting for a response as he starts thrusting in time with your bounces. He pounds into you, hips snapping against your ass hard enough to sting.
âFuck, Iâm gonna come too baby,â he bites out, the rhythm of his hips getting sloppier. âGonna come so fuckinâ hard, fill you up so good. Shitââ
Logan pulls out enough that only the thick tip of his cock stays sheathed in the warmth of your cunt, his body falling to hunch over yours as he pumps his come into you with a feral growl.
You whine at the feeling of his release filling you, painting your insides with spurt after spurt of thick come. Itâs so much, itâs always so much. A rush of warmth that floods your insides each time without fail.
And just like that, the feeling alone has you coming.
Your back arches as your cunt gushes over the tip of his cock, drenching his thighs and the rest of his shaft in your essence. You think you may scream, but itâs hard to tell over the white noise rushing through your ears.
Your arms finally buckle under you as Logan helps you ride out the last few tremors of your orgasm with a few slow rocks of his hips, and your spent body collapses onto the mattress.
Loganâs low noises of pleasure barely register as your chest heaves almost violently, your lungs desperately trying to get as much air as they possibly can.
But you barely have time to catch your breath before Logan plants his knees back firmly on the mattress and starts thrusting, again.Â
âLogan!â Your hands scramble for purchase on the mussed sheets of your bed, the overstimulation making your legs kick out frantically.
âYou thought we were done?â Logan asks, his tone equal parts amused and mocking. âYou popped twice already, baby. Sâonly fair that you let me catch up.â
With no warning, he takes you in his arms, pulling his cock out just long enough to flip you on your back. He throws your legs over his shoulders before plunging back inside your fucked open cunt with a filthy squelch.Â
He feels even bigger like this, yet your body swallows his cock like itâs nothing. The spongy warmth of your walls melding to the shape of him like itâs what you were made for.Â
The coarse hair of his happy trail drags across your clit each time he thrusts, adding to the blistering feeling where the knife's edge of too much too much too much meets not nearly enough.
His come stuffed in your trembling cunt only makes it all the more filthy, his cock plunging inside you and coming back out slick and wet on every thrust.Â
Your lips fall open on a broken moan, eyes screwing shut as you work your cunt around him, feeling the way his release gets fucked deeper and deeper inside you.
Logan notices, of course he does.
A dark chuckle rumbles against your own as he leans down enough to whisper into your slack mouth. âYou like havinâ someone come in your pussy, baby?â
You moan into his mouth unabashedly, loudly. Both of your eyes burning as tears threaten to fall down the flushed skin of your cheeks, your throat going dry and scratchy in the best way possible.Â
âShitââ Your hands claw at the rippling muscles of his back desperately, nails digging into his skin hard enough that you feel the unmistakable slickness of his blood coating the tips of your fingers.
The pain spurs him on, his head tips down on a low groan and his eyes squeezing together for a split second before heâs spewing filth again.
âYou want some more?â Logan asks, tone going dark like he already knows the answer as his hips speed up impossible faster. âYou want me to come again?â
You donât respond, you canât respond. You can barely make a coherent thought.Â
All you can manage are whiny moans that fall from your slack lips, broken little uh uh uhâs that get punched out with each new thrust. Your nails rake down his back mercilessly, leaving behind deep red welts that heal as you go.
âYeah, I know you do.â He turns his head to nip at the skin over the delicate bone of your ankle where it bounces near his head, sharp teeth digging in enough to have you whining pitifully. âYou love havinâ a messy fuckinâ pussy, donât you? Love being stuffed so full of my come you canât even hold it all, huh?â
His words hit you like a physical blow, lighting up your body from the inside out. Your thighs shake where theyâre wrapped around his hips, ankles locking over his lower back so he couldnât pull out if he wanted to.
His come mixes with your juices to coat his cock, completely drenched all slick and shiny in the dull light of your bedroom. It drips down almost leisurely compared to the near feral snap of his hips, trailing all the way down his length to his heavy balls.Â
âYes.â He groans, reverent. âGive it to me, baby. Wanna feel you come on my cock again, feels so fuckinâ good. Canât ever get enoughââ
Youâve never heard him like this, so high of pleasure that his speech slurs and his words all meld together into one filthy stream of ramblings that has you sinking your nails even deeper into his back and coming on his cock with a loud wail.
Your cunt convulses around him, shaking with the force of your release, milking him.Â
âFuck, princess.â Logan pitches forward, his sweaty torso covering yours as he keeps fucking into your shaking body, desperately chasing his own release.
Finally, with a muted roar of your name, he sinks his teeth into the tender skin of your neck and comes for you.
You cry out at the sharp sting of his teeth bearing down hard enough to draw blood, your vision whiting out with the pleasure of being claimed in every way imaginable.
Loganâs hips only stop when heâs drained of every last drop, his body shaking where it lays over yours. He laps at the broken skin of your neck, a soft gesture that isnât quite an apology for making you bleedâbecause you know that he isnât sorry whatsoeverâbut itâs nice nonetheless.
Your arms come up to circle around his neck, eyes fluttering shut as the exhaustion hits you all at once. You get lost in the steady rhythm of Logan catching his breath, in the way his heart pounds against his ribcage where his chest is pressed to your own, in the way his fingers twitch and flex on your hips.
The last thing you hear as you drift off, his come starting to leak down your thighs in thick streams of white, is a hushed whisper of âI got you, baby. Iâm right here, Iâm always right here.â
It puts you at ease, all the worry you felt over the last few weeks slipping from your mind like grains of sand through your fingers.
Maybe, this new side of Logan isnât so bad after all.
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