#maybe your cultivation is bad because you drink too much

[jin-zixun]

Sorry I'm not getting over Jin Zixun bragging about the fantasy equivalent of getting drunk and doing donuts in front of the entire jianghu

[svsssbrainworms]

🍃 SVSSS fic rec list

(shen yuan / bingqiu -centric edition) 2/3

[ shen twins; canon divergence/time travel ]

shen twins

• second-hand alibis

“All right. I’m in Proud Immortal Demon Way," he says, once he's had a chance to compose himself again. He sits back up, tossing his stupidly long hair back over his shoulders where it belongs; he is totally calm and ready to grill the System for more information.  "Who am I supposed to be? "Please please please don't let it be someone who Bingge violently murders. Though given the fact that he's a man in PIDW, his chances are already skewed, and not in his favor. Ugh. [Bound Role: Shen Yuan, Rogue Cultivator. Weapon: the sword Heng Li. Starting B-points: 100.] or: Shen Yuan transmigrates as a rogue cultivator, one completely unconnected to any canon characters or events. Right, System? Right?

• Wherever You Go, I Will Follow (The Scum Villain Early Intervention System)

Something goes a little sideways and Shen Yuan accidentally transmigrates into Proud Immortal Demon Way as a shitty, System-generated self-insert OC. At first, his goals are simple: survive, discover the world, and maybe even become a cultivator! It all seems to be working out alright. That is, until he discovers that there is more to his new identity than he previously thought: Shen Yuan has a twin, and it's none other than the future scum villain, Shen Qingqiu! As such, their fates have been inevitably linked together. The world is a dark place. Will they be able to make it through?

canon divergence 🦋 / time travel 🕰

🦋 • the pale morning sings of forgotten things

Mu Qingfang offers him a small bronze mirror. Shen Qingqiu takes it—evidently there’s no more putting this off. He looks into the mirror. A teenager, his hair and robes askew, his face streaked with blood, stares dully back at him. Ah, he realizes. Beneath the blood, half of it smeared across his face as though he had started to wipe it away at one point, he looks to be in his middling-to-late teens. Probably around seventeen or maybe eighteen— Pain stabs deep in his chest. That’s how old Luo Binghe is.Was. or: at the edge of the Abyss, Shen Qingqiu has a qi deviation. When he wakes, he finds he has lost far more than he can bear--or than he realizes.

🦋 • fuel the embers with the flames of your soul

Trapped in Huan Hua’s Water Prison, Shen Yuan’s illness from his previous life relapses.

🦋 • Sung From the Ashes

Things go decidedly worse in the water prison as everyone underestimates just how much Lao Gongzhu hates Shen Qingqiu. Now Shen Yuan has to figure out how to live in the aftermath of his experiences while Luo Binghe finds more and more ways to self-destruct. They'll meet in the middle someday if Gongyi Xiao has anything to say on the matter.

🦋 • Inappropriate Use May Result in Strange Side Effects 

In PIDW, there was a certain legendary cup which when used to make tea with even a single thread of another’s hair or a drop of their blood switches bodies with the person who drank it. It turns out… if you don’t use it appropriately it’ll either not work at all because it has no target, or will swap you with your soul mate. Too bad Luo Binghe had no idea about that. He was just going to drink tea and somehow he found himself in Shen Qingqiu’s body, staring at his own sword mound. Oh and what the absolute hell is the ringing in his ear?

🦋 • Separate Ways 

There are plenty of skills one can pick up in the Endless Abyss if curious or just desperate enough. The shape changing had been explained as being able to look like other people. This isn’t what happens when Luo Binghe tries it. What happens is that he’s transformed into a tiny dog with masses of curly black fur. When he catches his reflection while transformed, his first thought is, Shizun would definitely want to pet me. (Or, the one where Luo Binghe can turn into a dog, infiltrates Qing Jing, and seeks Shizun's affections through fluffy subterfuge)

🦋 • Dreaming of Gardens in the Desert Sand 

Huan Hua Palace master Luo Binghe never thought there'd be any reason to worry about the master that threw him away all those years ago. Surely, he was safe and cared for by the martial siblings he'd so thoroughly enamored. Luo Binghe was wrong. (Or, the one where the Jinlan City event doesn't happen and Luo Binghe's plan to slowly show he can be a righteous cultivator actually goes as he expected, with consequences he did not)

🕰 • Metagaming

[Self-Saving System Activated! You will be now returned to your original starting position.] Shen Qingqiu dies and gets a second chance and decides to try a different approach.

🦋 • Shen Yuan's Forced Shen Qingqiu Redemption Arc

The System's OOC function won't unlock all at once - instead, character traits have to be added individually, through quests. This leads to Shen Qingqiu having to jump through endless hoops just to complete enough side quests to unlock the ability to be a decent person - all while avoiding the effects it has on those around him. If only the cheapskate System wouldn't keep changing the cost of point values - he needs to know what the hell Yue Qingyuan told the others about him that makes them all look so sad when he does manage to be nice! He's breaking his back here, can't we just appreciate his work?!

🦋 • If You Don't Have Store-Bought Character Growth, Homemade is Fine 

When Shen Qingqiu fails his first mission, he loses the opportunity to unfreeze the OOC function. He has to go through the events of the story in-character as the original goods. He's definitely getting human sticked. Meanwhile, Luo Binghe is getting paranoid that his Shizun has started being nice to him. In a really mean way.

🦋 • In Durance Veil

Right, the villain's beautiful daughter, who had caught a glimpse of the Protagonist from afar and, naturally, fell madly in love at first sight. She'd used her knowledge of her father's lair to sneak into the dungeon where Luo Binghe was being held and eventually proved the key to his escape, betraying her father for love. "So, you want to try to find some random girl who's willing to sneak in past the guards to Luo Binghe's prison and..." "What random girl could we possibly trust? I'll do it myself!" "You know what," Shang Qinghua said. "Somehow I feel like I should have expected this." --- Shen Qingqiu self-detonated at Hua Yue City, but he didn't die. Instead, he wakes up to a world where Cang Qiong is victorious and Luo Binghe has been imprisoned beneath the mountain. What's a poor transmigrator to do? He has to find a way to free the Protagonist before he breaks out and razes the Sect to the ground! Clearly, the best way to do this is to pretend to be one of Luo Binghe's future wives. Clearly.

🦋 • Into the Abyss

In which Shen Yuan pisses the System off and it sends him straight into the Endless Abyss. Four years later, Shen Qingqiu does the same to Luo Binghe.

🦋 • Bamboo Shoot of Resentment

Falling prey to an unusual curse after the Immortal Alliance Conference was the last thing Shen Yuan expected from this dumpster fire of a porn novel. But here the transmigrator is — inflicted with a demonic womb he absolutely did not ask for, and a new burden he didn’t even think was possible. And maybe, Shen Yuan is just a bit tired of it all.

🦋 • He Was Made For Untidy Rooms and Rumpled Beds  

Shen Qingqiu kind of, sort of, does not have the same modesty standards as a xianxia novel set in some form of Ancient China? He also hates the heat, who knew right?

🕰 • Wish Received, Wish Granted!

Luo Binghe aches so raw and violently in a way he hasn’t known since the Endless Abyss, since the scalding heat of tea on his scalp, or the sight of his mother’s tired and motionless form in her bed. Images of that other reality sear themselves into the forefront of his mind, plaguing him even when he shuts and scrubs at his eyes till they hurt. He feels the ghost of Shen Qingqiu’s gentle touch on his skin like a persistent burning sensation, flames of longing licking at the nape of his neck. He wants it. He hates it. He needs it. Or Luo Binghe (aka Bingge), because he’s the protagonist, gets his wish granted the moment he wakes on the cold floor of the woodshed, beaten black and blue, and fourteen again.

🕰 • A Transmigrator and a Time Traveler Walk Into the Bamboo House

Over a year after Shen Qingqiu's death, Luo Binghe consults his servant's servant, concurrently his disgraced martial uncle, for a way to bring the love of his life back. Shang Qinghua sends him in the direction of a certain time-traveling artifact, which supposedly brings one to the day they first met their soulmate. Odd, though, that the artifact ends up missing the destination by just a few years… - A story in which post-Abyss Luo Binghe relives his disciple days, while juggling his secrets, traumas, and some unexpected revelations about the man he loves on top of that.

🦋 • The More You Don't Know

Luo Binghe has it all: the respect of the cultivation world, the home he always wanted, and Shizun's love. There's just one problem: if Shizun ever finds out he's a demon, it's going to ruin everything.

🦋 • grief, hope, and other forms of sickness

After the Immortal Alliance Conference, Shen Qingqiu qi deviates. The deviation itself isn’t bad, but it allows Without-A-Cure to spread far further than it did originally, disabling Shen Qingqiu by a non-insignificant amount. So when Huan Hua calls for Shen Qingqiu’s imprisonment in Jinlan City, Without-A-Cure makes it very clear that Shen Qingqiu can not be held in the Water Prison away from the medical attention he needs these days. Instead, Shen Qingqiu is allowed to return to Qing Jing, provided he takes Luo Binghe back with him.

🦋 • Celestial Afterglow

Shang Qinghua, also known as Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky, stared flatly at what had once been a field boasting near sect-level Feng Shui alignment, and the drowned, bloated remains of the Sun and Moon Dew Flower cuttings that had sprouted within it. Their plan was now quite literally a wash. If only he could consult Cucumber Bro on how to save Cucumber Bro! But in the absence of Cucumber Bro, he could but rely on the one plot coupon the infamous Peerless Cucumber had ever applauded.

🦋 • I Want You To Be Happier

Shen Yuan has amnesia. Good thing his husband is there to take care of him! - Following a failed attempt to detonate his core in order to save Luo Binghe at Huayue City, Shen Qingqiu instead suffers a qi deviation and loses his memory. Luo Binghe, in turn, loses his shit and steals him away for awhile.

🦋 • fall for your reflection (drown in a dream)

“Shh, Shizun, it’s alright,” Luo Bingge says, voice lilting in a singsong manner. Shen Qingqiu can’t look away from his red, red eyes. He blinks, and they aren’t eyes at all, but feathers, perched on a mound of coiled, shifting vines that are dotted with white thorns dyed their own bright red from Shen Qingqiu’s blood. “Go to sleep, Shizun,” the black-and-red bird sings, coaxing. “Go to sleep,” Luo Bingge repeats, as he flickers back into being. or: Shen Qingqiu is attacked by a monster that drops him into a dream of a perfect world--with Luo Binghe featuring front and center.

🦋 •  Medical Diplomacy

Fresh out of the Abyss, Luo Binghe learns that he alone can cure Shen Qingqiu's chronic ailment. With this information in hand, he pursues an alternative strategy involving interspecies diplomacy and a royal alliance. After all, Cang Qiong can't expect a gentleman to dual-cultivate outside of marriage.

[witchofthesouls]

ya ever think about the mental hurdle that is a human turned cybertronian having to give up food for energon, something that was once toxic to said human turned cybertronian?

I feel itd be rough, like imagine being told you can't have organic stuff anymore and have to something that would've used to kill you? Like i imagine some having to hype themselves up just to chug energon down and deal with the mental backlash trying to tell them to throw it up when they shouldn't.

Like Alt+F4 to the brain.

I had thoughts on the opposite spectrum, especially for the Aligned verse, with the lack of food: too much flavor or completely bland.

Imagine if Energon, while very pretty to look at, is a sad taste of almost nothing? It makes so much sense, considering how bad Cybertron's natural resources had been destroyed or decimated, so the populations were making do with Depression-style meals.

So salt is an incredibly ultra rare mineral on Cybertron that's painstakingly cultivated on a wild plant on the remains of caustic biomes, but the Autobots (and Decepticons) are going nuts since it's abundant on Earth and the squishies can eat that?! They eat rocks!? The giant ocean has a use they understand?!

(Insert all the Cybertronians stationed on Earth incorporating "pass the salt" in their lexicon and happily salting their cubes as a fuck you to the elite.)

Because Earth and Cybertron are "cousins," I do like the thought that cyberized!humans do retain some old/throwback/strange traits compared to Cybertronians. It would be hilarious if the ex-humans are still able to consume most things with enough preparation or they have the functions to draw out all the nutritional value. It would blow the native Cybertronians' collective minds and tastebuds.

As for Energon being "too much," maybe it's too intense since it's a different feeling than humans are used to. Like an electrifying rush of burning energy down your throat. A mix between Listerine mouthwash, the mintiest gum, and the spiciest sauce as an icy-hot pack for your mouth.

Bottom line, Energon itself wouldn't put off people as it doesn't have an equivalent that humans would associate it with danger. There are many drinks with a vividly bright hue as well as people on liquid diets and supplements due to health, medical, or lifestyle choices. But something like oil, gas, or petrol would throw the exhumans in a loop since it would trigger that remaining 'danger' sense from human sensibilities from the very smell.

[lalunanymph]

𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐄𝐆𝐎

↳ a foul-mouthed, aggressive, pro-soccer player on the verge of being disqualified from the biggest game of his life, is tossed into a fake relationship with a spoiled heiress to salvage their bad public reputation. what exactly could go wrong?

𖨆♡𖨆 itoshi rin x fem!reader

cw. fake dating, mentions of alcohol, language, explicit smut, unprotected sex, dirty talk, reader wears makeup and a dress, slight choking, submissive!reader, manhandling

masterlist | playlist

#3: OUT THE BOTTLE

The drive back to your father’s home was silent and terse, filled with pockets of ruminating thoughts where you wondered just what the fuck was Itoshi Rin’s problem. 

You had tried your best to be nice to him. Sure, you could be a little over-friendly, but all he had to do was tell you to quit it and you would step back with an apology presented on a silver platter. But, no—he had dug up such an immense past wound, it made you nauseous just thinking about how casually he threw it into your face. 

It’s like he can’t even communicate like a normal person. 

The most he could do was stop antagonising you. Your head started to hurt and you wished you were anywhere but here; sitting in a bar and nursing a drink then fighting back tears of frustration beading on your lash line. You sniffed, and dashed at your brimming eyes.

Fuck Itoshi Rin. Fuck him and his stupid, rude ass.

You were done with this agreement.

Before you could drive down the road into your father’s house, Junni called you up. Her voice filled the interior of your Coupe, and she sounded excited.

“Y/N? Are you home?” 

Hoping your thick voice would not break, you murmured, “No, I’m not. Why?”

“I heard about you and Rin,” she bubbled, and the edge of a whine was hard to miss from her saccharine tone. “Why didn’t you tell me? Were you embarrassed of me finding out?” You barely had time to reply to her when Junni’s next question came shooting in your direction, reeking of a thinly-veiled attempt at digging out more gossip. “I’m in Onmoya right now having a drink. Come and join me.”

Something dark and thrilling tingled in the recesses of your soul; begging for a chance to be released. For reckless abandonment to take you by the throat and lead you down a path of self-destruction. The wise inner voice you tried to cultivate during your short time appeasing Rin reared up, but you shushed her. Told her to fuck off and let you have this night. 

Despite the low tones of afternoon shades, Onmoya was a bar where many could spend hours in. The friendly staff, good food and general ambiance once pulled you in to stay past two in the morning—and you had only gone there for lunch. 

So, you drove to Onmoya. You changed out of your hoodie and shorts into a tight, red dress you kept in your Coupe’s boot. 

You ordered a set of Jagerbombs and Junni listened to you as you started to slur about how much you hated soccer. She tried to get your loose tongue to impart more insight into your relationship with Rin, but you came up blank everytime she pressed forward with a question. What could you say? You barely knew the guy in the first place.

A part of you—the one which still held a shred of lucidity—admired how he had found a loophole for that stupid rule (you couldn’t remember its name now). 

Maybe Itoshi Rin was too distant because he wanted to keep his feelings in an airtight container of separation; so they would never touch his waking world. You snorted miserably and your head bumped forward, almost sagging onto the table.

“Y/N,” Junni’s alarm voice filled your hazy mind. “H-hey. Do you want me to call Rin to pick you up?” 

You barely responded, and she started to panic. The young heiress snapped your phone off the table and punched in your passcode, opening your contact list and dialling Rin’s number. If you had an iota of soberness, you would be mortified that someone had discovered that your fake boyfriend’s number was in your emergency contacts; terrified that he would find out and judge you for such a rash presumption on this relationship. 

There was nothing you could do to stop Junni from calling him and as much as you whined and pleaded for her to send you home, she concocted an excuse that she had to be in downtown Tokyo by tonight.

Liar. 

She just didn’t want you puking in her Audi. 

The lights of the bar suffused across your vision like a hazy glow, and you weren’t aware of a tall figure making his way through the crowd, his teal eyes set on your hunched figure. 

“—Rin, right?” 

Someone grunted, low and masculine, and you were hoisted up from your slump on the table, into a sturdy circle of arms. 

“Thanks,” you heard a familiar voice murmur. “I’ll handle her from here.”

The moment your head thumped onto firm muscle and the smell of musk hit your nose, you knew it was him. The thought of Rin seeing you this vulnerable injected a small dose of sobriety into you, and you struggled to escape his embrace.

“M’fine! I can walk.” 

He clicked his tongue. “You can’t. Now shut up and let me carry you back to the car.”

You protested, but Rin was a good head taller than you and much more athletic; he would always have the upper hand in terms of strength. Surprisingly, your drunken murmurings for him to let you go were met with resistance and grunts. 

One arm wrapped around his shoulder and another firmly around his waist, Rin let you lean on him, patiently matching every wobbly step you took with a short stride. He didn’t rush you or make fun of you when you almost knocked your head on his car roof. He didn’t throw any rude remarks when you groaned and slumped against his window, trying in vain to hold onto your last shred of self-control not to spill your guts in his car.

When you reached home, he took the liberty to carry you in his arms, ignoring your squeaks of protest. Every jarring step he took made the alcohol slosh in your belly and you were almost to the door when you whined and smacked his chest.

“R-Rin, I-I need to puke…”

The door barely fell open and the moment your feet touched the ground, you drunkenly dashed to the closest bathroom and spewed your guts down the porcelain bowl. You dry-heaved until you couldn’t anymore; until your empty stomach ached and your throat hurt. With the cold seeping into your cheek and tears glueing your lashes shut, you were a sight for sore eyes that you almost didn’t blame him for locking himself in the bedroom and washing his hands clean off the responsibility to sober you up.

But, you were also wrong this time. 

Rin braved the storm of your sickness and helped to hold your hair back, kneeling next to you as you struggled to catch your breath. A glass of water was pressed into your hand, and you shamefully chugged it down, bleary eyes locking on his disapproving expression.

“You’re a menace, you know that.”

The first pulsing of a migraine was starting behind your eyes and you groaned, dropping your forehead to the toilet bowl rim and bracing yourself for his reproach. 

“So irresponsible—”

“Not tonight, Rin.” You were dazed at how hoarse you sounded. “I don’t wanna fight tonight.”

Wisely, he snapped his mouth shut. Rin helped you stand so you could wash up and gargle your mouth. Once or twice he caught you in his arms when your balance faltered on the way to the shower, and he was completely distracted from trying to keep you from giving yourself a concussion, that what you were doing clicked in a second too late when you started to tug your dress over your head.

“Ow!” you cried when the neckline caught on your earring. “Ow, ow, ow…”

Your whines diminished when you felt sturdy hands helping you untangle the caught jewellery from your silk dress. His expression remained impassive when you stood before him in your thong and bra, swaying on your own two feet. If soberness had reached you fast enough, you might’ve even noticed the reddened tint on his cheeks. 

“Come on,” he mumbled, tugging you by the hand towards the glass shower. “You need to clean up.” 

Suddenly, you broke free from his grasp, spurred on by the respite of warm water flowing down your aching muscles, and pushed the door open. 

“Hey—!” 

Rin barely had time to stop you from flicking the shower button, his stare of consternation burning into your back when you shrieked with delight, water cascading down your entire form. Soaking your delicate lingerie and ruining your makeup.

“Oi, idiot. You’re still in your underwear—”

You giggled and flicked your hair to the side, catching his eye from over your shoulder. “I know, but it feels good. C’mon. Haven’t you ever showered with your clothes on?” 

Rin’s expression withered in pain, as if the thought itself was distressful. You didn’t expect him to roll his eyes and huff, stripping off his shirt and then his shorts. Your widening gaze trained right to the bulge hidden by the thin material of his underwear, your entire body frozen in shock. He didn’t give you time to wrap your head around his sudden change of mind, pushing open the shower door and nudging you closer to the wall so he could stand under the fall of water; the residual steam soaking into his skin, the tips of his dark hair sticking to his face. 

Your mouth had gone dry, and you stared up at him, suddenly—painfully—aware of your nudity. How there was nothing separating you from his darkening gaze.

He took a step closer, and you shrank against the wall, your back flush on the cold marble. 

“Turn around.” Despite his proximity, Rin did not try to scare you. Instead, he was gentle when he pushed your hair aside and manoeuvred your closer towards his chest. He didn’t hesitate to unclip your bra and toss it onto the floor; nor wait for you to give your consent when he hooked his thumbs into your panties and drew them down your legs. 

Even with your blatant nakedness right in front of him, Rin did not take advantage of your vulnerable position. 

He got down onto his knee, unlooping your panties from your ankles and tossing it aside to join your sodden bra. With nothing keeping you hidden, you started to panic, heart doubling in speed at what he would do next.

Sex was nothing new to you, but in the throes of it all, you barely remembered the minute details. It was always a quick fuck, some spooning and you were out of their apartments before the sun could break over the horizon. However, this was different. Completely foreign.

You were alert and absorbing every little change of Rin’s expression when he straightened up to his full height again—his flustered reaction evident from the twitch of his lips and the furrow in his brow. You memorised the curve of his palm and the roughness of his skin when he started to lather soap onto your back, gently bathing you. You closed your eyes when he rubbed your back, and shivered when his fingers grazed your cheeks, forcing your face up to his so he could remove your makeup. 

Those beautiful teal eyes were focused on his handiwork; trying to get every trace of makeup off your skin with a warm wash rag. 

You couldn’t help yourself and steadied your palms against his defined chest; quietly surprised when he did not push you away. He didn’t even react when you twined your arms around his neck or when you threaded your fingers in his hair. Rin only paused his ministrations when you started to shift closer, your body pressed against his. 

One second, he had set the cloth down, and the next, his lips were on yours.

You kissed him like he was water and you were parched for his presence for days on end. Rin indulged you by not pulling away; surprising you when he started to tighten his grip around your waist. 

For an asshole, Itoshi Rin was a good kisser, leaving you breathless for more when his hips pressed flush to your own. You could feel something half-hard poking your lower belly, and you barely had time to gasp before he had slid to his knees again. This time, Rin’s eyes were two molten teal pools, and you had little doubt of his next intention. He skimmed his lips down your thighs, tracing the ridges of your hip to map out your body under his touch.

Your mind spun, threatening to fall off its axis. The fog of your thoughts from the alcohol was starting to lift, giving you some semblance of clarity back again. Just in time for you to feel his mouth right above your soaking slit. 

Rin glanced up at you through hooded, subdued eyes, and you held your breath at the sight of his pink tongue peeking out to glide between your folds. Whether you were sensitive from the alcohol or buzzing from the sudden elation of his touch, you let out a loud moan, and slapped a hand over your mouth, warming with embarrassment. 

He didn’t comment on your sudden slip of composure, content to spread your folds and trace his tongue over the swell of your clit. Your fingers found purchase in his hair again, and for a split second, something tangible washed over you. It buoyed you with lightness, giving your fragile hope wings. 

For no matter how thick the fog of deception covers the visible, glimmers of truth would still shine in the periphery like a promise. 

You saw it in his teal eyes, felt it in the sturdy grip around your waist. Rin’s mouth left your twitching clit with a soft ‘pop’ and he stood straight again. This time, there was no hesitation between you both when he reached out for you and you met him in the middle.

Your thighs were wrapped around his waist, and the steam seemed to cling lovingly around the both of you, enveloping you in tandem with lust. Rin grunted when his cock sheathed into your tight heat and you groaned, head falling back when he started to move. 

Words could not compare to the whisper of damp skin on skin; the press of his lips on yours.

Through those fleeting kisses, you tasted yourself and his resignation; his first offer of peace. And in yours, he drank in your ardour and quick, bubbling passion. 

Rin paced you through your first orgasm when it crashed around you, placing soft kisses and murmurs of praise on the delicate column of your neck. He steadily held you to his chest, almost cradling you with no sign of fatigue despite how long he had held you up to fuck you against the shower wall. 

“Such a dirty, desperate girl,” he murmured, and you swore your vision tunnelled; your mind spinning from his sudden filthy statement. 

Rin didn’t give you a chance to wrap your head around his words, easing out of the shower with mincing steps and sitting you on the wide bathroom counter, sweeping aside your makeup and skincare to make space for his large palms to press flush on the cool marble. He tugged your chin up to face him, and you held his gaze when he pushed inside of you again, a low groan of fuck falling from his intumescent lips.

“Look at me.”

The natural dominance dripping from his tone and the stretch of his cock settling right into your tight heat made you whimper. As if it wasn’t enough, Rin wrapped a hand around your throat, fingers digging lightly into your pulse point as he choked you softly while you struggled to take his length.

“I said—look at me.” Your whines were growing incoherent, the rush of alcohol spiking down south made your entire pussy sensitive to his length touching every tender spot. He felt his dick twitch harder when your lachrymose eyes latched into his steely, wild, teal ones, slowly succumbing to his perverted desires. “Hmm. Looks like you can follow orders after all.”

Rin pried your mouth apart with his thumb, his large palm wide enough to cover half of your neck. His long fingers tightened around the column of your throat, forcing you to stay put so he could shove his thumb roughly down your throat, making you gag lightly.

“Take it,” he murmured. “Show me how good you can be.”

You tried—you wanted to prove you were the best. Softly, you suckled on his calloused thumb, swirling your tongue over his rough skin and peering up at him through glossy eyes. 

Your pussy gave a little shudder around his length and Rin inhaled sharply, brows furrowed and a low groan vibrating from his chest. 

“You like this, huh? Being treated so lewdly. You’re practically melting around my cock.” His heated words were shaded in soft murmurs that contrasted heavily with his firm thrusts. You wished you could come up with something witty, but his thumb pinning your tongue down barely gave you the space to throw back your words into his face.

Itoshi Rin had effectively rendered you mute and bending to his whims. 

“Be good for me,” the dark-haired striker whispered as he removed his thumb from the heat of your mouth, swiping your spit off by smearing it over one heaving tit. “And maybe I will show you some mercy and make you feel good.”

Your choked moan and teary, desperate eyes, ignited something feral and primal in him, and Rin hitched your thighs higher around his defined waist, starting to chase both your pleasures down with pure determination and lust. 

The sensation of this position was thrilling; it was far more intimate and open than when he had taken you against the wall. You could hear his heavy breathing, feel his thighs tensing around yours. His kiss was clumsier this time, sloppily enveloping your entire mouth. Rin kissed you like how you imagined he dominated the other players on the field; with determination and a flair for possession.

He pressed you against the cool mirror, and you whimpered at how deep he was in you—almost kissing your cervix, his hazy eyes latched onto your fucked out expressions.

There was something utterly gorgeous about how he was unravelling from your walls clinging around his cock.

His cheeks were dusted with pink, mouth parted slightly and a bit of drool chasing down his chin; pretty teal eyes hazy and unfocused. Pussydrunk. Itoshi Rin was getting pussydrunk on you. 

You swiped the trail of spit down his chin with your tongue, earning a low groan which rumbled underneath your splayed palms on his chest; culminating with your tongue deep in his mouth. Rin was grabbing your ass hard enough to leave marks on it, and you were desperate to feel his control snap. To feel him fill you up good.

“Cum for me,” you panted softly against his mouth. “Let me feel you, Rin. Please… Cum in me.”

His hips stuttered, and the hot, twitching heat behind your navel tightened with another knot. Ready to snap. 

“Fuck,” he gritted, forehead falling heavily onto yours. “Fuck. G’na—I’m gonna…”

You started to grind down on his length, the sloshing sounds and wet smacks of both your sexes meeting loud and obscene in this bathroom. 

Rin groaned when he felt you squeezing down on him, and his breathing picked up a notch; his heart throwing erratic beats under your palm. He groaned, low and deep, and without warning, strings of warmth filled you up.

It triggered something in you—got you gasping and whining when he started to pump his seed deep into you; his stamina still going strong.

“R-Rin,” you cried, and he took the chance to seal his lips over yours again, long lashes tickling your cheekbones. This kiss was messier, painted in huffs of desperation and your pussy started to quiver around him again.

Using his thumb, he rubbed your clit until you squeaked and started to flinch away from the overstimulation. But, he didn’t give you room to escape, growling under his breath and tightening his hold around your waist as he traced messy circles on your throbbing bud. 

“R-Rin!” your scream shattered through the peace, and you were sure you looked unhinged; desperately chasing your second high. It was almost painful—this excruciating pleasure he elicited in you.

Acutely now, you were aware of your body reaching its final tether to composure, and you choked out his name, vision whitening as the high crashed into you with the force of a thousand bricks. Smothering your senses with pure ecstasy.

The walls of the bathroom shimmered; your wails trembled through the muggy steam from the heated ardour you and Rin created. Your nose burned with the scent of musk and sweat, and you were barely lucid to the sensation of more cum filling you up. 

Sapped of his energy, Rin leaned his full weight against you, smushing you against the mirror. His breath dragged against your shoulder, and you held on tightly to him, as if he would disappear after one blink.

You regained some semblance of motion after a few blank minutes, and tried to stand. But, Rin had recovered faster and was lifting you into his arms again. You didn’t protest when he brought you to the sofa, your clammy skin sliding uncomfortably against the leather surface. Neither did you make a sound when he laid next to you, pulling you into his sticky embrace. 

The exhaustion from the events of tonight crashed into you, and within seconds, you were out like a light.

… Rin fell asleep a few minutes after you did, tracing your features with his bloodshot, teal eyes.

Menace. He tucked you underneath his arm, too tired to give into his self-inflicted exasperation. I should kill her when I wake up… his eyes slid close, a drowsy stupor smothering the tail end of his thoughts; his vitriol defeated by the tender embrace of sleep and your steady breathing pulling him deeper into unconsciousness. 

The sunlight grazed your bare face, coaxing you awake. 

Someone’s chest was rising and falling underneath your cheek, but you were too comfortable to see who it was. Must be some dude from the bar, you consoled yourself, feeling your consciousness dip back into sleep. Five more minutes. Then, you would leave his apartment to go back to yours.

He shifted underneath you, and wrapped one strong arm around your waist. Whoever he was, he smelled good. Like musk and rain. The image of a soccer field, fresh from a drizzle, popped into your mind and you sighed happily, thinking how nice it was that your fling for the night smelled like petrichor. 

“Hey, quit drooling on me.”

Your mind shattered into reality when you fully comprehended the cadence of that tone.

Shooting up, you shrieked when you were faced with one impassively irritated Itoshi Rin. Your eyes fell on his broad, naked chest, and you quickly looked down at your own body, surprised to find it as bare as his.

Slapping your hands over your breasts, you squeaked in fear, backing away from him and the tangle of his arms, the couch quilt haphazardly thrown onto your naked body slipping down your shoulders.

“What are you doing here?!” 

“I live here.”

The memories of last night came flooding back, your expression betraying your every thought. His muscular build flush with yours. Your tongue tracing a shiny path from his chin to his lips. The faint recollection of his cock stretching you out.

Shit. 

You backed away, uncaring that you were naked before him, eyes wide and brimming with disbelief.

“Did we…?”

He arched one perfect brow, seemingly unperturbed. You could not read his unfathomable expression, struggling to find the words to continue on with your daft observation.

“Obviously.”

The ache between your thighs seconded his gruff reply, and you groaned, covering your face with your hands. 

“Great. I have to take a morning after pill now. Thanks, asshole.”

He scoffed. “Huh. I clearly remember it was you who seduced me into getting in the shower with you.” Rin grumbled under his breath like a little boy. “I wouldn’t even think of fucking you if you didn’t start to strip like a chea—”

You slapped a cushion onto his face, halting his demeaning words. “Shut up! None of this would’ve happened if you just agreed to be my friend!” 

He ripped the pillow from your hands with a snarl so fierce on his impassive face, you faltered and went tumbling back into the wide sofa. Rin was on top of you in a second, and your legs automatically wrapped around his waist to steady yourself from toppling off the tall seat.

The next few minutes were a blur. 

Sloppy, bruising kisses were shared. His tongue was back in your mouth and you suckled on the pink muscle desperately, grinding your aching clit on his half-hard cock. Your hands tangled in his hair and he was painting your neck, chest and tits with more hot kisses. He sucked on your nipples and tongued them till they were swollen and sensitive, and you cried out, tilting your hips upwards. Making it easy enough for his cock to slip into your soaked hole.

“Fuck,” Rin choked when you started to bite down on his shoulder to muffle your wails. “E-easy there, you menace. You’ll leave a mark.”

You didn’t listen, moving your mouth to his neck and starting to decorate his pale skin with red bites. He groaned when you sucked on his pulse point, thrusts growing sloppier and more desperate.

“Fuck, fuck,” he cursed, droplets of sweat chasing down his temples. You whined when his wide eyes latched onto yours, the pretty teal of his irises completely swallowed by his dark pupils. Rin turned you around onto your hands and knees, using this new position to take you from the back. 

Your thighs and arms trembled trying to hold yourself up, exhausted from the night before when he had worn you down. This new position had you seeing white, despite the fatigue in your limbs, and you gasped when he reached forward to twist and milk your nipples. 

The rough pad of his index finger moved down your body to rub quick circles around your bundle of nerves, and you muffled your shriek by pushing your face into the pillows, completely submissive to his will. In this position, you weren’t privy to his bright eyed, frenzied gaze, or his mouth fell slack when you started to mewl his name so prettily. 

Rin was solely focused on making you cum, his thrusts erratic and deep. It thrilled him to no end to see you losing your composure on his cock, whining and gasping his name; fuelling his ego and his desire to watch you crumble for him.

The curve of your spine arching upward and your lips parting in gasps made his heart expand. The sun rays weaved in your hair and on your skin, highlighting the natural command of your beauty. He had never noticed how attractive your side profile was until it was silhouetted by the gentle morning light. 

“Fuck—Rin!” your whimpers slammed him back to reality and he broke free of his spellbound fugue. “I’m gonna—”

“Cum.” His command coupled with the harsh circles he rubbed onto your clit, had you seeing stars for the third time in 24 hours. I’m so close. 

The silence was broken by the sloppy sounds of your pussy taking his cock, exacerbated by your teeth grinding together, your dissolution close enough to taste. 

Rin never stopped rubbing your clit, and with one final, loud cry, your control gave out and your body snapped in its natural crescendo of mounting pleasure, the passion consuming you whole.

Your scream of his name rebounded across the penthouse, second to his loud grunts for you to cum for him. The exhaustion slammed into you the minute your walls stopped squeezing down on him, and before you could slump forward, Rin caught you in his embrace. The sensation of your walls milking his cock for what it was worth had his body tightening and his lips at your ear, mumbling your name in between filthy, low groans. 

Hot ropes of his cum filling you up would never cease to take you by surprise, and you moaned, breathy and edged with pleasure, at how full you felt from his single load. 

Rin’s strength finally faltered and he slumped onto his side, bringing you along so your back was pressed to his chest, caging you to his body heat. 

The world stopped spinning for a split second, long enough for you to catch your breath. 

Whatever you wanted to say to him, any lingering irritated jab, dissipated into thin air. It was a novel experience to linger in his presence without defaulting to hostility, and you had an inkling Rin was as disconcerted as you were at this arresting development. 

“So,” you started in a light tone, not wanting to piss him off just when you two were starting to warm up to each other. 

The heat from his much bigger body seeped into your skin, comforting you with the scent of petrichor and musk, reminding you that you were both way past the ‘warming up to each other’ phase.

Rin hummed. At least he wasn’t asking you to shut up. 

You continued. “Do you think we should tell Ego about this?” 

His arms reflexively tightened around you, and butterflies swarmed your belly from the involuntary movement. 

Finally, Rin spoke after a few minutes of stewing in silence, shocking you from the lull. 

“No,” he murmured in finality. “Let’s just take this one day at a time, yeah?” 

Fine by you. Smothering your grin, your eyes slipped close and your shoulders relaxed. Unwittingly melting into his embrace. 

The morning slipped past peacefully.

© all works belong to lalunanymph. do not copy, repost or claim as your own.

[clockwayswrites]

Like Betta Fish Do - Part 12

Masterpost of ao3 link and all parts.

wc 2295 (Chapter 9 when on ao3)

“Hey, it’s Danny, right?” asked the person standing next to Danny’s seat. They shifted, tucking a long strand of pitch black hair behind their ear.

“Yes?”

“We thought—”

“She thought,” said the woman who practically barreled into the first speaker’s back. She hooked her chin over the other’s shoulder with a grin as she adjusted her hijab. “Cloe thought, but we all agree.”

“Which is why I said we, I’m Cloe, this is Fara, that guy over there is José.” She motioned to a young man with a head full of curly brown hair and an easy smile waiting by the door. “We need a fourth for the group project, want to join us?”

“Me?” Danny repeated in surprise. No one in Casper High ever wanted him on a team, not unless it was Tucker and Sam.

“Totally. Your comment today on the possible advancements of propulsion technology was just the sort of thing that we’d love to do our topic on. It didn’t look like you had a group?”

“No, I don’t, not yet. That would be nice,” Danny said with a crooked smile. He’d been worried about having to find a group to work with so the offer was a huge weight off. Honestly the presentation was way too much of their grade in his opinion (but maybe that’s just because he had been dreading it).

“That’s great!” Cloe smiled back at him. “Do you have time to meet now? Just, like, to a coffee shop or the library. We can hash out the basics and what everyone should research before we meet up again the next time.”

“Sure. I could almost always use a coffee,” Danny said as he shoved his aging laptop in his backpack.

“Yeah, we can kinda tell with the…” Fara pointed at her own face, finger circling around her eyes.

Danny barked out a surprised laugh when Cloe let out an affronted “Fara!”

“Hey, I’ve been cultivating these dark circles since high school. They’re like fine wine,” Danny said. Snarky he knew how to handle.

“Oh, José will like you,” Fara said with a laugh. She linked arms with Danny and practically dragged him towards the door. “José! I found you another coffee addict.”

“Thank you,” he praised, “because Cloe only drinks the most basic bitch drinks and Fara likes tea.”

“I make an exception for pumpkin spiced lattes and hot chocolate,” Fara said with coy smile.

“See? See what I have to put up with. Please, my dude— is it my dude?” Danny nodded in response. “My dude, please tell me you drink real coffee.”

“With as many espresso shots as they’re legally allowed to add,” Danny said.

“A man after my own heart— a heart that runs on coffee,” José said with a laugh as they all spilled out the front of the engineering building.

Maybe this presentation wouldn’t be so bad after all.

-

Okay, so maybe Danny was just really not used to being around people any more.

Really, really not used to it.

He’d only spent an hour or so with the other’s at the coffeeshop, but between that, class, picking up a treat for Jason, and just having to go back and forth throughout the city Danny felt his nerves crawling under his skin. Every noise from every apartment around was so loud. Even his fridge seemed to be screaming at him with its incessant whine.

And there was no where to get away from it.

If he went out, Danny would just be surrounded by the sounds and smells and lights of the city. People would jostle into him or sit too close on the bus and— Danny shuddered at the idea of being touched by strangers right then.

He rubbed his fingers against his palms as he shifted and tried to lay more comfortably on his small sofa. He had his t.v. on, streaming mindless video game play throughs, but he wasn’t really paying attention to it. It was just to try and block out some of the noise.

There were things about the city that he loved, sure. The access to food was great. There was an amazing variety in walking distance of his place or campus. He’d also found a few great stores— a game store and a second hand clothing shop were top of his list. It was great how there was always a distraction.

But there was always a distraction.

Nothing ever really stopped in the city. That constant hum, after a few weeks of it, was really getting to Danny. He hadn’t thought he was rural or anything, but Amity’s hundred thousand or so people never prepared him for living here.

He closed his eyes and made himself take a slow breath.

Jason was going to show him some places around the city today.

He had to get a handle on himself before then.

He’d been trying for an hour now— or so his phone alerted him to when he checked it for the hundredth time. He laid it back on his chest and closed his eyes. When it started ringing a moment later he nearly jumped out of his skin.

‘Jason Calling’, it read. He fumbled to swipe the screen. “Hi.”

“Hey. My meeting wrapped early so I was going to head your way now if that’s good?”

Danny swallowed, trying to force back the buzzing under his skin. “Oh, um, yeah, sure.”

The line was silent for a pause. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

Jason snorted. “That’s a lie.”

Danny flung an arm over his eyes and forced himself to take another breath. “I guess, just… It’s stupid.”

“Fish.”

The endearment was more gentle than Danny felt he deserved. He was being stupid about this. Who struggled to be around people? And he wanted to see Jason too. It was just… everyone— everything else.

He could hear the sounds of the city on Jason’s end and tried to focus on his voice instead. “Come on fish, talk to me.”

“It’s just— being in the city all the time… it’s just getting to me a little, I guess. I’m not used it it. That’s all. I’ll be fine.”

Jason gave a considering hum. “Okay. Change of plans. Do you have a leather jacket?”

“What? No?”

“Okay. Are you up for one stop first? We’ll make it quick.”

“One stop before what?” Danny asked as he pulled himself up by the back of the couch.

“Before my new plan for the day.” Jason sounded smug.

“I don��t— we don’t have to—”

“Trust me, okay?”

It was such an earnest request that it brought Danny to pause. He swallowed once more before he found his voice. “Of course I will.”

“Good. Then I’ll see you in twenty. Go put on jeans, a long sleeve shirt, and some sturdy shoes.”

The abrupt end to the call had Danny blinking down at his phone before he pulled himself up to do as he was told.

-

Jason studied Danny as the other came out of his apartment building. He hadn’t liked how Danny sounded on the phone and he didn’t much like how Danny looked now. It was like the other had tucked all his loud, jagged, wonderful edges away. It was like he was hiding from the world.

Well, Jason would just have to fix that.

“Just one quick stop,” Jason said, handing Danny a helmet.

“I’m fine, you don’t have to ba—”

“Fish,” Jason said firmly. He waited until Danny was actually looking at him (not frowning at the ground) to continue. “It’s okay if you’re not okay. You don’t have to apologize to me or about it or about you. You can be not fine.”

Fuck he was sounding like his well meaning family now. Still, it got a wobbly smile from Danny, so maybe it was worth parroting back the words. The words didn’t always help, he knew that. They certainly didn’t fix stuff that he still struggled with some days, but they couldn’t hurt. It couldn’t hurt to be reminded that someone cared.

“Okay. One quick stop,” Danny agreed.

“Right,” Jason said. He turned and straddled his motorcycle. “You ever ridden before?”

“Yeah, actually I have. A friend has one.”

“Huh.” Jason was actually a little surprised by that. “Okay then hang on tight. We won’t be doing anything crazy in the city, but we might have to stop quickly. Some drivers are jackasses about motorcycles.”

The bike dipped under him as Danny settled on behind him. There was an obvious moment of hesitation before Danny let himself slide forward. As Danny settled along his back, Jason had a thought of how well Danny fit. He briefly squeezed the arms wrapped around his waist in notice before he started his bike up and they took off through the city.

The one quick stop was to get Danny a riding jacket and gloves; Jason wanted to be sure that Danny would be warm and, more importantly, protected on the drive. As it was, Jason drove more cautiously than normal, very aware that Danny’s safety was in his hands.

It wasn’t long to the store, and he tried to make sure the shopping didn’t take too long. He could practically see Danny’s edges fraying. He did make Danny try on several jackets, even if he tried to make sure they didn’t linger, so that Danny could find the right one.

“Are you sure this is it?” Danny asked, tugging on the hem of the black leather jacket. It had a bit of a retro cut, but there was enough modern padding that if Danny fell off the road rash wouldn’t be that bad. Besides, Danny looked good in it; it cinched nicely at his waist and fit his shoulder snugly.

“Yep,” Jason said. He reached out and smacked Danny’s hand away when he tried to take a peak at the price tag again. “Stop that. I already told you I’m buying.”

“Jason—”

“Just accept it. Give me the jacket and go pick out some gloves,” he said.

Danny rolled his eyes, but shrugged off the jacket and handed it over. Jason took the moment to explain the mater to the sales person, who was cooperative about not saying the total out loud. The knowing smirk was a bit weird though. It even had Danny glancing at Jason suspiciously, but they got out of the store with what was needed and Danny none the wiser to what a good motorcycle jacket could cost.

Jason took the time to sync up both helmets so that they could talk on the ride if they wanted to, but he left the matter to Danny. It turned out to be mostly silent once they left the city, especially since Jason wasn’t explaining where they were going. The longer they were on the open roads, the more that Jason could feel Danny relaxing against his back until. Finally he settled in and rested his head against Jason’s shoulder blade.

“Thank you.”

“Ain’t seen nothing yet,” Jason rumbled back.

Danny just answered with a soft hum before he fell silent again.

Jason took them on the highway, down some side streets just for the view, and through a smaller city to the more secluded parking lot that he knew about. He could feel Danny freeze up behind him, and chuckled as he pulled off his own helmet. Danny did the same as he stumbled off the bike.

“Come on,” Jason said. He practically had to guide Danny down the path and to the top of the first bluff where the concrete ended.

Danny let out a breath exhale. “Oh, wow.”

His mouth hung slightly open as he stared out at the crashing waves and the beach that stretched out before them. A cloudy fall day wasn’t exactly the best time to visit the coast (not that they were the only ones doing so), but Danny still stared at it like it was the best thing he’d seen in a long time.

He stared at it like it gave him life.

Jason found he wanted— suddenly and fiercely— to find a million more moments that would bring that same spark to Danny’s eyes. He didn’t want Danny to stop living just because he had died.

Jason didn’t want to stop living just because he had died.

Not anymore.

He reached down to undo the knots on his boots with Danny scrambling to do the same. Laces tied together, Jason slung the boots across his shoulders and made his way onto the beach. He reached out to help balance Danny as he stumbled a little on the soft white sand.

When they had gotten to the edge of the water, Jason hung back slightly in the damp, but not wet, sand while Danny, with all of his normal abandon, rolled up his pants legs and barreled into the waves with a whoop. He ran in and out of the surf like one of those sand piper birds as the wind whipped his dark hair around his face like a storm of shadows.

Laughing as he was chased by a larger swell of water, Danny stumbled back to Jason’s side. He took a deep breath, filling his lungs with salt air, and then just slumped heavily against Jason like he was boneless. Jason took the weight easily.

Jason grinned down at Danny, who’s eyes were still locked on the water. “Worth the trip?”

“Yeah. Yeah, worth the trip. Completely. Thank you Jason.”

“’Course. Gotta get the fish to water now and then.”

“Shut up, dead boy.” Danny rolled his eyes, but his grin didn’t drop for a second.

Jason chuckled, but found he didn’t  need to say anything back. He was content to just watch Danny watch the ocean.

-----

AN: Finally an update for you all~ ngl, there are some rough spots I'm not entirely happy with, I feel you can really tell what I wrote when I was feeling really, really poorly. But that's what a re-write is for, I guess!

The classmates won't show up too much, but I needed an outside perspective and to show Danny is settling in- even if he's struggling with some things.

Apologies for any typos, I currently want to melon ball my eye out from this migraine so you know, words are hard. Anywho, stay delightful, darlings!

tag list of doom: @fisticuffsatapplebees​ | @thegatorsgoose​ | @wolfeyedwitch​ | @lazy-bouqet​ | @confusedandghostly​ | @glomsk​ | @kailithiel​ | @bahfev​ | @d4ydr34min9 | @claudiashq​ | @someonebored0100​ | @pastalavistamf​ | @samgirl98​ | @angelheartgamer​ | @lehana37​ | @spiteismymiddlename​ | @rosecinnamonbun​ | @demon-cat-goes-woof​ | @violet-catsarelife​ | @avelnfear​ | @undead-essence​ | @basilf1res​ | @amillionandonefandoms​ | @stealingyourbones​ | @sarcastic-yami​ | @bun-fish​ | @aconitewolfsbane​ | @dontfightmecauseillcry​ | @omgnectarina​ | @vehan-tikkun-olam-and-stuff​ | @the-blind-one-speaks​ | @mimilikey​ | @wolfe-marvin​ | @learning-to-fly-on-my-own​ | @multplelifes​ | @yurijay​ | @bae-graphomaniac​ | @fan4rt1st​ | @weirdestarrow​ | @wolfjackle​ | @onyxlightdragon​ | @zotinha456​ | @wwwwyamd​ | @river9noble​ | @starscreamlover​ | @michealawithana​ | @robinmedea​ | @spideypoolalways​ | @jesus-camp-the-sequel​ | @persephoneblackrose​ | @f4nd0m-fun​ | @mady-is-ace-trash​ | @ascetic-orange​ | @renwilson​ | @ace-aro-as-shit​ | @rangerhorsetug​ | @thatrandomsarahchick​ | @holygoldfish​ | @mlpizza​ | @chrysanthemum9484​ | @justwannaseesomebrozawa​ | @newgraywolf​ | @crazylittlemunchkin​ | @fire-glass​ | @eonic​ | @autumnrosnor​ | @the-nerdy-fangirl​ | @faithblob-says-things​ | @aisec-phantom​ | @a-star-with-a-human-name​ | @winged-scaly-attic-dweller​ | @mistermetalmaker​ | @apersond​ | @mustachebatschaos​ | @joaniejustwokeup​ | @that-dumbass-on-a-horse​ | @plainly-colorful​ | @blackcatsandhaunteddolls​ | @booklover223​ | @alice-hazelwood​ | @answrs​ | @enbydemirainbowbigfoot​ | @felicityroth​ | @wanderingrutabaga​ | @seraphinedemort​ | @write-it-right-2​ | @my-mom-calls-me-rat​ | @01101010-01100001-01111001​ | @arc-777​ | @crystalice067​ | @phoenixdemonqueen​ | @icedbluesoul​ | @itsparadoxlacuna​ | @wisp-wishes​ | @spikedlynx​ | @redhoneysugarorange​ | @russetfur1128​ | @mutable-manifestation​ | @stargirl1331​ | @chaoticchange​ | @living-on-borrowed-time​ | @orshie​ | @britcision​ | @littlefeather345​ | @sunflowershine03​ | @aro-acedumbass​ | @thefanficcup​ | @shibanoh​ | @racoonmcg​ | @icefirecrystal​ | @thatonejumbledmess​ | @cy-ella​ | @dolfay​ | @kobol1​ | @metal-sporks​ | @tired-yet-awaken​ | @currant-owo​ | @firegirl108​ | @stupidlovepurplepeace​ | @drowningroane​ | @imagineshazamlokimight​ | @immakittybear​ | @justalittletotheleftofnormal​ | @akikoyuii​ | @chrysanthemum9484​ | @kawaiikenna​ | @imaginationmademanifest​ | @a-salty-sal​ | @mentalcarebear​ | @mj-arts-n-stuff​ | @xysidhe​ | @cottonscrambles​ | @manapeer​ | @yjfk​ | @ryisc​ | @666deaddash999​ | @nutcase8691 | @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit | @dr-syko-pharm-4 | @i-have-opinion | @ballzfrog | @mysoulspiralbound | @istillhavenosociallife-blog | @gin2212 | @annabethchase0 | @eiderdown-eider | @basementloser | @plotwholls | @minnowmarsh | @neverlandingbird | @rootsmudge | @fandom-reblog-central | @serasvictoria02 | @mnemovoid | @taniaundertaleau | @kirineo-kiki | @ironicvixen | @violetfox2 | @redhoneysugarorange | @allulily | @jaxinkh | @naluforever3 | @horribly-lost-and-gay |  @babblingbat | @frostedthroughghost | @kyrianclawraith | @caspertheloudassghost | @the-forgotten-dragon-anankos | @lyra689 | @v-inari

[lavenderbexlatte]

day 6: size difference

monsta x 1.2k words female reader insert Reader x Lee Jooheon NSFW

🖤 warnings: nonsense. descriptions of body size/body image, mild and undefined size kink 🖤

kinktober masterlist

connect with me! / masterlist

There's no way to describe the look on this guy's face other than...shook.

It doesn't seem like it's a bad reaction, though. You smile at him nervously, as he works through whatever is sending him. He's watching you approach the table with that unmasked surprise, waiting as you weave your way through the crowded cafe.

You'd expected some awkwardness on a blind date. It's fine.

At least he's cute.

Super cute. He's got a lovely strong face, deep dimples that you can see even now when his face is at rest. His tight t-shirt and fitted jacket do nothing to hide his strong chest, and he sits in that confident man-spread, legs apart and a deep slouch.

He straightens up a little as you get closer.

For all of his apparent struggles, he does speak first. "Hey."

"Hi," you answer, slipping your coat off in the warmth of the cafe and settling it on your chair back, mostly for something to do with your hands.

"So, you're Jun's friend," he says.

"Yeah." You tell him your name, just in case, and he nods.

"Jooheon."

"Cool."

You're settled into your chair, thinking mostly about what you're going to go order to drink, but also a little bit about this guy and his continued astonishment.

And finally, he lets you in.

"You're short."

It's not your fault. You laugh. You can't help it.

"I guess I am," you agree. "Kinda."

You think you're pretty average. You certainly have coworkers and friends who are shorter, and smaller. But he's looking at you like he's never met someone smaller than himself.

"It's cute," he clarifies, as if suddenly realizing how he's acting, how a different person might take offense to his bluntness.

"You don't meet short people often?" you ask.

Jooheon smiles, and instantly, you're melting. Those dimples sink even deeper, and his eyesmile threatens to overwhelm his whole face.

"I work with famous people," he says. "Tall, dark, and handsome."

You know what he means, even if it's an off-target line to use about women. Celebrities are so often tall and delicate, a cold and sharp kind of cultivated beauty. Not exactly words to describe you. It makes sense, you guess, that maybe wasn't expecting someone like you. But that's an interesting tidbit, overall.

"Famous people?" you repeat, curious.

"I produce., and write."

"Music?"

"Mm."

So, he's a musician. Jun said he was in entertainment, but this is much more interesting than you'd expected, more low-key. You'd been half-expecting a local newscaster, or, like, a theater director.

"Are you ready to order?" you ask him.

"Yeah, lemme..."

He leans forward, retrieves a slim wallet from his back pocket.

"I can pay for my own," you say, as you stand up again.

You can feel Jooheon following you to the counter, and you're hyperaware of him standing a polite distance behind you as you speak to the cashier. Maybe you're shorter than he'd expected, but he's also taller than he looked sitting. You think he can probably look right over you, can see the cashier clear over your head.

The idea of it sends a little thrill through you.

It's not like you go for tall guys, exclusively, or anything. But Jooheon's immediate fascination with your size has you feeling...something.

You're too stuck in your own head, because as the cashier reads out your total, a hand darts in from the side, supplying a card that the cashier takes without even blinking.

"Aw!" you protest.

"I got it," Jooheon assures you.

Oh.

He's very close, now, leaning right up against you, hand propped on the counter as he waits for his credit card back.

"You are cute," he says.

It's a simple compliment, but the sincerity of it leaves you standing there for several dumb seconds after the purchase is completed, and Jooheon has already walked away.

Maybe that's how you find yourself pressed to the wall of his apartment building lobby.

Not even the apartment itself, but the lobby. Next to the elevator bay, right beside the button panel, waiting for the elevator car to come down and meet you.

Jooheon's pouty lips are feeling you out, straying from your mouth, down your jaw, your throat, and back. He has one knee propped against the wall, between your legs, threatening to hold you off the ground completely.

"You're so strong," you say breathlessly.

You hadn't realized he's quite so strong, or so broad. He's got the kind of solid filled-out look of a guy who works out, but also eats well. Working muscles, rather than aesthetic muscle.

Jooheon just feels so big.

He pulls back to wow you with those dimples again. "Thanks."

"Should we be doing this here?"

"Who's gonna stop us?"

It's a valid question, but any complaints about public indecency are answered for themselves when the elevator arrives, and Jooheon sweeps you into it.

"Everything okay?" he asks.

He's holding you gently by the waist, fingers playing up your spine like piano keys. You're kind of lost in him already.

"Yep."

"Cute."

He keeps saying that. He better stop, before you believe it.

You can't remember the last time you kissed someone this much, spent so much time just exploring another person. That's probably why you're so smitten, right now. Pure overwhelm.

His apartment is nice. The lobby was a giveaway, but you can tell by a hazy glance at the interior in the dark that he makes comfortable money. You'd want to take a look around, in other circumstances.

In these circumstances, there's no time.

"I want..."

Jooheon takes an agonizing moment to hang up his jacket, and yours, and he glances at you with mirth in his eyes. He's making you wait on purpose.

"What do you want?"

"Just...I mean..."

"Me?" Jooheon asks.

He lets his expression go wide and curious, childish wonder. He's teasing you, acting cute on purpose.  The effect is ruined - or enhanced, you can't decide - by the sight of his broad chest and big arms, biceps wrapped in the tight cotton of his fitted tee. That face and that body-

"You," you agree.

"Then come get me, cutie."

He walks farther into the apartment, and you follow.

On your back beneath him, both of you bare from the waist up, you can't help but compare. The planes of his muscles, the jut of his ribs, the sheer breadth of your chest he can span with only one hand...

"So fuckin' little."

He mutters it, but it sets you on fire.

"I'm not that little," you say.

Jooheon laughs, dimples out full-force. He leans right down until you're face to face, his body covering yours so completely. "Yeah, you are."

As if to prove it, he draws back, takes you by the hip, and turns you right over onto your knees.

Flustered, you let your forehead rest on the mattress. It's like he can just do whatever he wants. He's so solid, so capable. You can't even see him, now, and he's still looming, demanding all of your attention.

"How much can you take, cutie?" he asks.

He's a big guy, in general, but the question has you tingling.

As well as you can with the constriction of clothing on you lower half, you arch into him. "How much do you have to give?"

"Wanna find out?"

[shi-daisy]

Spring Beast and Silver Queen

Day 6 and here we have the second otp! Like Tamcien (or Feylincien) and Neris own my heart but Neslin has so much potential that I wouldn't mind them being endgame in a Canon. So here's a little oneshot for them with some Fairytale tropes. Hope you like!

@tamlinweek

Tamlin Week 2024- Day 6- Fairy Tale AU

Spring Beast & Silver Queen

Nesta walked onto the decayed manor, it was just as destroyed as the rest of the court.

Lucien might be the only one to come here out of genuine care, but if the mild mannered redhead couldn't do more than this that meant the High Lord was all but dead inside. She understood. Nesta felt the same way.

She found Tamlin sleeping. The male was in his beast form, like that day when he came to their cottage and took her sister. There were times she wished that hadn't happened. Now, she just wished she'd ran when she had the chance.

It didn't matter anymore. It was either Spring or a lock up on Night, and she'd take her chances with the wilted flowers.

Nesta came into the room slowly. A bird that slept on Tamlin's mane woke up, and left out the window, sparing her one last glance.

She kneeled on the floor and gently patted the man. He was alive, just deeply asleep, and he looked so very weak.

'Guess they've broken us both.' She thought.

Who had once been a monster to her now looked so very defenseless and sad Nesta felt compelled to be kind. Maybe being here wouldn't be so bad, at least Tamlin wouldn't bother her about her drinking if the empty wine bottles were any indication.

She didn't know why, but Nesta decided to plant a soft kiss on the beasts forhead, and wait for him to wake. Nesta didn't have to wait long.

Tamlin turned from beast to fae form in a flash, and when his emerald eyes fell on her their bond snapped.

***

A deep silence fell upon the room as he sat up and stared at Nesta who was equally surprised and stunned.

"I...Think you know what this means."

"Yes..."

"Wait! Why are you here, Lady Nesta? Is this another strange dream?"

"Afraid not. I'll explain."

She told him of her downward spiral, of her sister's betrayal and the choice she was given. It nearly made his magic spiral in a rage.

"Stay here I'd that's what you want. I swear I shall protect you." Tamlin managed to say.

"...What about the bond?"

"If you keep it, they cannot take you away. Once we're certain they won't hurt you, then you may do as you wish with it."

It hurt to say, to denounce something he'd once wanted, despite knowing of it worst sides thanks to his parents, and yet...he wanted to prioritize Nesta's free will. It was clear she needed it.

Especially when her frown turned into a slight smile. "I appreciate it."

Baby steps, in time they could be friends.

***

Lucien had come to visit. After she explained the situation the redhead not only returned to stay with his partners but he cut off all ties to Night.

"We will help you rebuild this court!"

That was all they needed to let the Band of Exiles become part of the Spring council.

The Spring Library was a marvel after it was cleaned and she took to devouring every book she could. It helped fix the court and bring back the population.

In a few months things were already looking up, and Tamlin wouldn't stop thanking her. "Lucien did most of the administrative work. Vassa is in charge of diplomacy and Jurian is training the sentries. Why are you thanking me too?"

"Because if you hadn't arrived that day. I wouldn't be here right now. Your silver flame is what kept me holding on and made me rebuild what I shouldn't have left crumble. Thank you."

His gentle hand on hers gave her pause. Despite the slow friendship they'd cultivated and the bond that kept her safe, sometimes Nesta doubted a man like him could want her if it wasn't because of the mating bond. Still, she didn't want to break it. Her safety was at stake but also...she didn't want to hurt Tamlin further.

Nesta felt a tear slide down her cheek, but it was soon wiped away as Tamlin kissed her forehead. "You don't have to say anything. If I have to wait forever I shall. You're worth waiting for."

Worth. She hadn't heard that from anyone.

"There's a lot I still must deal with, but when I do. I'm certain you'll be who I want to spend my time with."

"I'm honored to hear that."

***

Tamlin often thought that beyond any person music would remain his ultimate love. Perhaps that would've been right, as he played his fiddle before the Calanmai celebrations and everyone danced with joy.

Then she stepped into the scene wearing the long sleeved silver dress he'd gotten for her and the glass shoes he'd seen her eyeing at the boutique.

Nesta was a delightful dancer. He knew she loved music as much as he did when she organized all his sheets and instruments with great care, probably more than the books.

Nesta danced beautifully for him, and he didn't remember the last time he'd played that well. By the time the song ended and she stopped dancing, Tamlin had picked her up in his arms and they shared a kiss.

"I love you." Nesta said, and he couldn't help but cry.

"I love you too."

No other Calanmai had left him as breathless and full of joy

***

Eventually they came for her a little over week after their bond was sealed and their frenzy over.

Nesta nearly barbecued the entire inner circle when they tried to get close to Tamlin. He'd wrapped them in thorned vines.

"We are mated. We are happy. We won't bend to you if you're trying to get the crown. Leave!" He said.

Cassian glared at her and Nesta regarded him with indifference, she had the man of her dreams right by her side and wore a crown of roses rather than chains of stars. The only ones she'd mourn for were her sisters, but she was free and she wouldn't apologize for it. Let the. Make their choice for themselves.

And they did. Because when shadows took her to the House of Wind and she was locked in its tower, Nesta could hear a battle far away in the Velaris palace. By now she'd realized Morrigan was the traitor and that Feyre had joined her, but she couldn't wait for them to rescue her. She had to get out herself.

Rhysand had brought her back to fight for Night's side. She wouldn't and so he locked her up. But he forgot she had power and she had read enough to figure out the end of the tale.

Nesta used her power to create thin threads of silver. They grew from her hair and she made sure to tie them onto the balcony rails. It wasn't enough to reach the ground safely, but she wouldn't need to. She saw a figure of green and was aware he High Lord came to save her.

With rope of hair in hand she jumped from the balcony of the tower and safely mounted Tamlin, who was now a dragon.

"My silver flower"

"My fiddler lord."

They flew away as the Obsidian castle in the distance was swallowed up a black hole in the sky. Both of them were worried until the event passed and the castle was nothing but rubble left away.

After landing they spotted Lucien in the distance with the healers. She saw Feyre and Mor with them, out cold but alive.

Tamlin and Nesta both breathed a sigh of relief. Then they looked at eachother. Nesta smiled at the sight of her mate, her beloved and the man who'd come to her rescue.

Tamlin pulled her close, holding his savior, his queen and his beloved.

Nesta kissed him, using words he'd once said to someone else yet were never returned until now. "I love you, thorns & all."

"And love you, my queen Nesta Acheron."

Two birds flew over them as they shared a kiss, into their happily ever after.

[ajaxbell]

I finished The Journey of Chong Zi, and I hated it.

Why did I finish it? Out of pure stubbornness, I guess. And my endless desire to watch Deng Wei? The only good character was Qin Ke. Not just because, well Deng Wei, but he was truly the only actually good one of the good guys.

Everyone else was selfish, terrible, and absolutely unsuited for their position on the six worlds. I really hated almost everyone. Well okay some of the demons were okay too.

I am utterly sick of plucky heroines who whine, refuse to do anything they are supposed to, run headlong into trouble, and drag others down. Like why be a cultivator if you never practice, never listen to your shifu, and absolutely refuse to learn from your mistakes? 60% of this show was sullen whining from Chong Zi about mostly how she didn't like the consequences of her own impetuous actions. Was she badly treated? Sometimes, but almost all of it could have been avoided if she'd just considered any action for two seconds or more and just listened, once or twice, to anyone with more knowledge and experience than her.

Early on I liked her shifu, Luo Yinfan, but by the end he seemed insanely stupid and kind of creepy for being in love with her, partly because of the power dynamic, and partly because she was so awful that it was frankly embarrassing that he'd think he was in love with her.

It had great aesthetics though. And some decent acting. Too bad about the script and the directing. And the main character and her voice over artist. I'd be maybe interested in watching Jeremy Tsui in something else, as I thought he had a kind old Hollywood charm and subtlety to his expressions. But his face also looked sort of puffy toward the end, like he'd started drinking heavily by the last few episodes. And given the script and his love interest, who could blame him?

Anyway probably not even worth watching for Deng Wei even if he was absolutely best thing about the whole show. Though shout out to Asher Ma, Wang Zhuocheng, and, of course Li Daikun. But they all deserved to look this good, and be this great, in a much better show.

Despite all my complaints, truly the aesthetics were immaculate. Can't argue with the glittery goth demon realm.

Ultimately this had a decent concept with great potential, excellent visuals and was so wildly disappointing, mostly because the unmet potential was so obvious and it had so many good actors given nothing to work with and abysmal direction. There were also very few decent female characters. The way most the female characters were written and their petty in-fighting felt like deep misogyny on the part of the writers. So deep that I'm actually annoyed at how much it made me hate the titular character. Alas. On to the next show.

[wangxian-stan]

Found You

Prompt by @differencesintheworld: Here's one I've been mulling over for a while - WangXian meeting their successors in the modern era. Imagine a great great great granddaughter with the grace and discipline of Wangji and yet a sly smirk and sneaky tactics of Wuxian, and all the same a strong sense of Justice and Fairness- How they got to meet them? Magic I dunno-

Hi differencesintheworld!

First of all, thanks for sending a prompt! I was pleasantly surprised by it, since I figured this side blog was too unknown to get any answers.

Secondly... this took me so long because instead of a mere one-shot, your prompt sent me into a rabbit hole and I emerged on the other side with the sketch of a modern cultivation AU where some of the cast are secret immortals, others have reincarnated, and cultivation is the norm.

I'm not sure if I will ever write the whole fic, developing this AU in its entirety. I'm good at writing short stories, not so much at multi-chaptered ones ^^' But I managed to get out a two-part story centered in your prompt (well, two-part.... maybe three-part. Or four. I guess, no more than five, depending on how the writing goes.)

So, here it is! This first part is in the POV of an OC that isn't the descendant, sadly, but the next part should be in her POV. And because I don't know if I will ever write more of this AU, as I've said, here are some background notes:

Takes place in a modern cultivation AU, where modern times have discovered a way for cultivation potential in kids. Those with low potential get treated badly.

People are divided by levels: 0- no cultivation potential to 5- outstanding potential. Zeros are nearly extinguished because with everyone having at least a weak core, viruses have evolved and become stronger. Those with no cores can now be at risk from illnesses like the flu.

Fives are also incredibly rare. The normal population varies between a high 1 and a low 3, meaning they can activate and create talismans and use low-level cultivation techniques

Cultivating to immortality is seen as a myth. Some of the cast are secret immortals, wangxian included

Anyway, read the fic below the cut or in in AO3. If you, or anyone else, is interested I can share my notes for this AU ^^

Warnings: implied child neglect. One of the kids is sick and the carers of the orphanage haven't been taking care of her.

-

For once, the rain was a blessing.

Normally, Aria hated rain. Who would like it? It made her room cold, she had to huddle to avoid the leaky part of the ceiling, and it kept the people at the orphanage inside. It also brought some bad memories that the rain made a struggle to keep locked at the back of her mind.

No, the rain wasn't usually something she liked, but this night she welcomed it. The potent sound of a storm muffled any sound she could make as she sneaked around the orphanage's medicinal cabinet, decreasing the chances of the matron hearing her. It also made it possible to take some food from the kitchen, not enough for the lack to be noticed, and sneak back into her room, avoiding the creaky parts of the floor with ease.

“I'm back, Zhu.” She whispered, closing the door with care. She then approached the bunk- bed where a girl with long black hair was laying down, her breath labored.

“A...ria...”

“Shh, don't talk. Here, drink a little.” She helped her friend to sit up and took the chipped mug, half filled with water, tilting it into the other's mouth and encouraging her to take small sips.

“I have some medicine,” she said when her friend signaled she'd had enough. “But you should eat something first. Here, I got you a yogurt. Try to eat a little.”

“And you?”

“I already ate, I promise Mingzhu. Now you.”

“Mn. Thanks.”

Waving her thanks, Aria fed Mingzhu little spoonfuls of the yogurt, then helped her take a pill and lay back down.

“You will be okay,” she whispered, holding her hand. “I promise, I'll do all I can to help you get better.” She took the blanket and tucked it a little more around her friend, trying to ward off the cold. A flash of lightning illuminated the room, followed by the sound of thunder, the sounds of the storm increasing.

It was because of this that Aria didn't hear the commotion, at first, until the door to their room was suddenly slammed open. Startled, she looked up, and when she found two- unfamiliar men staring at them, she instinctively moved protectively in front of her friend with a glare.

“Yes, I can see how you just adore children,” one of the men said in a sarcastic voice, his silver eyes glinting in what Aria could identify as fury. The man at his side was silent, his face blank, but she could detect anger in him despite the coldness emanating from his golden eyes.

“I- well, she's very sick, so we had her away from the rest to avoid the illness spreading...”

That voice. Aria's glare increased, and she could finally see the matron behind both men, only to blink in surprise. The matron, normally serious with an arrogant expression, was as white as snow, her hands wringing nervously in front of her.

“And why didn't you take her to a hospital?”

“We're a small orphanage, you see, we don't have enough money to cover the costs-”

“Oh?” The first man smiled. It wasn't a nice smile. Aria shivered but watched with glee as the matron paled even more. “That wasn't what you were bragging about earlier. What was it that you said? Oh, that's right-”

“Wei Ying.”

At the second man's words, the first man, Wei Ying it seemed, shut up and met the other's gaze.

“You're right, Lan Zhan, now's not the time.” He turned back towards the matron, gaze cold. “We're taking her now. We will be back to finish the paperwork once we're sure she's out of risk.”

“You're going to help?”

It wasn't until both men's eyes were on her that Aria realized she'd spoken. She still met their gazes, defiant, and watched as both men's eyes softened.

“We will help her,” the second man, Lan Zhan, confirmed in a soft voice that lacked the coldness of his earlier words. Aria stared, mistrustful of these two strangers who had suddenly barged in.

“Why?”

But before they could answer, the matron spoke up. “I'm afraid there isn't much you can do,” she said in that sickly fake understanding tone that Aria hated with passion. “You see, that girl. She's a zero. Normal medicines aren't-”

“Shut up,” interrupted Wei Ying, glaring so fiercely that what little color the matron had recovered she lost again. “We will help her,” he said, looking back at Aria, “because she's very sick and needs the help. Also,” he added when Aria's glare indicated that it wasn't enough, “she's a distant relative of ours. We've been looking for her for a while now.”

Aria's eyebrows rose in incredulity. Distant relatives appearing out of nowhere in the nick of time to save the life of a long-lost descendant? What was this now, a book?

“We're the only ones who can help,” Lan Zhan suddenly said, staring intently at Aria. “She will be fine. But.” Lan Zhan looked at Wei Ying and Aria had the impression they were having a secret conversation with their eyes. Her suspicions only increased when, out of nowhere, Wei Ying nodded and Lan Zhan's golden eyes were on her again as he continued. “You can come with us too if you'd like. Then you can make sure your friend will be safe.”

“She's a one-!”

“Haven't you noticed by now that we don't care?” Wei Ying snapped at the matron. “I hope you won't be this stupid when we come to do both sets of paperwork later.”

The matron colored and began to sputter something Aria didn't pay attention to, her eyes widening as she stared at both men.

“Come with you? Both sets?”

“Mn.” Those golden eyes were soft again. “If you want. This place is not good for you, too.” Aria blushed, suddenly feeling self-conscious of her ill-fitting clothes and her self-made haircut. She looked like a vagabond in comparison with these two men, who were dressed in what looked like expensive clothing.

But these men in expensive clothing wanted to adopt her, too.

It sounded too good to be true. But she also knew that the chances of her friend surviving were small, and she wanted to be with her for as long as she could. These men said they could help. Aria wanted to make sure they wouldn't hurt her more.

She decided to take the risk and nod. La Zhan's lips curved slightly, then turned back to the other man (what was their relationship, Aria wondered) and interrupted his conversation with the matron. A conversation, Aria suddenly realized, sounded a lot like this Wei Ying was blackmailing the matron into letting both of them leave with these men.

“We should go.”

“Sure. And you,” Wei Ying said, smiling scarily at the matron who once again was so white Aria wouldn't be surprised she fainted. “Remember what I said, okay? We'll be back in a week for the paperwork. Make sure you have it ready, 'kay?” The matron gave a mute nod.

Seemingly satisfied with her answer, Wei Ying turned to Aria, holding out a hand while Lan Zhan took the unconscious Mingzhu and lifted her easily, cradling her in his arms.

“Let's go, little one.”

Aria took his hand.

-

The way to these men's house would be remembered by Aria in little flashes, in the future.

The men taking out swords and casually leaving them floating before them, making Aria realize that they must be level 5 cultivators because flying was something few people could do.

The rain-repelling paper talisman stuck to her shirt, instead of being the usual stamp in her hand, activated by a trickle of spiritual power that to Aria's little senses seemed to come from a vast ocean.

The way Wei Ying's arms felt so secure as she lifted and carried her the whole way. She was warm, whether from the talisman or those arms, she didn't know.

She fell asleep.

[lizhly-writes]

hi, i woke up at fuck o'clock in the morning and felt a sudden desire to write.

Watching Yue Qingyuan’s interactions with Shen Qingqiu was a little like watching a train crashing into a train only to fall off a cliff onto a train.  It was sad!  It was so sad that Shang Qinghua had to resort to drinking to not think about it!

Seriously, bro, who wanted to watch your fiance pine after another man on your own date?? It wasn’t like Shang Qinghua had feelings about Yue Qingyuan, but it was still weird!

At the end of it all, the conclusion was always this: Yue Qingyuan looked miserable.

“Wow, sucks to be you, bro,” Shang Qinghua said, because he might have had a little too much to drink and maybe his brain-to-mouth filter wasn’t quite on right.  Cultivator tolerance was beyond human limits!!  But so was Zui Xian’s finest brew, guaranteed to put a cultivator down and kill a mortal man!

“I don’t know what that means,” Yue Qingyuan said, still miserable.

“Well,” Shang Qinghua said.  “Simply put: my condolences.”

Yue Qingyuan laughed, still miserably.  “It really looks that bad?”

Not coming up with an answer better than, “Uh, fucking yeah, bro,” Shang Qinghua helpfully offered Yue Qingyuan a drink. Maybe a sip or two would be fortifying!  It was certainly enough to get Shang Qinghua pleasantly buzzed.

Miserably (still!), Yue Qingyuan took the flask.  Then he downed it all in one shot.

“Oh,” Shang Qinghua said.  “Fuck.”

…

As it turned out!!! Yue Qingyuan was not a happy drunk!

“I can’t do anything riiiiight,” Yue Qingyuan sobbed.  “If I push, I’m not respecting his boundaries and if I don’t push, I don’t care about him and I can never do what he wants–”

“Uh, there, there,” Shang Qinghua said, awkwardly patting Yue Qingyuan’s shoulder.  He didn’t really know what to do with crying people, but he had, you know, the faintest inkling that it would be bad for Qiong Ding’s head disciple to be drunk and crying in public, so he’d dragged them both to Yue Qingyuan’s residence. 

“I can’t make it up to Xiao Jiu.  I can’t do anything to make it up to Xiao Jiu.  He’s going to hate me forever–”

Shang Qinghua had done the bare minimum!  The rest of this was above Shang Qinghua’s paygrade!  Even if it was all his fault to begin with!

…. Ah, that wasn’t nice to think about.

“Have you considered maybe talking to him?” Shang Qinghua said.

hi. we're back to svsss again. i read Asymptotical's Many an Ill to Cure yesterday. There was this line that sort of caught in my head:

If this bit of lore was true, then Yue Qingyuan was married to Shang Qinghua of all people, and that was about the only matchup he could think of that was possibly worse than pairing Shen Qingqiu with Liu Qingge.

and my brain.... ran with it. not for very long, because i really don't have a GREAT grasp of these characters and also i should absolutely be doing something else. but here you go.

At the ripe old age of twenty-something, Shang Qinghua had successfully lied and cheated his ass off to become the An Ding Head Disciple. It absolutely didn't mean his troubles were over -- it was still An Ding, and An Ding always meant backbreaking work, no matter how high up you climbed, and haha also there was still the entire fucking plot left. But at least he had a really nice house now! At least people had to pretend to respect him! At least the System wouldn't keep that fucking countdown clock in the corner of his eye about how he had X months to make Head Disciple before it nuked his brain into a crisp!

Overall, things were going about as great as could be expected!

Except for, you know, this... this one little thing.

"What???" Shang Qinghua said, when Shizun had first lobbed it at his head.

The Lord of An Ding Peak looked askance at him. Shang Qinghua cleared his throat and tried again. "Begging this one's pardon, but... but could Shizun repeat that?"

"You'll be engaged to Yue Qingyuan," said the An Ding Peak Lord.

Yeah, that's what Shang Qinghua thought Shizun said.

FUCK!

This was his fault. Like, literally everything was his fault, seeing how he was effectively God, but this was a mistake that he didn't have to make! You could argue about the violence and the papapa, but in the end, he was speed-writing a stallion novel for money so he didn't starve.

But the engagement.

Airplane-Shooting-Towards-The-Sky had been trying to explain exactly why so many young, beautiful, cold cultivators were so eager to get with Bing-ge, even if they seemed to hate literally any other person ever. He'd eventually settled on the idea that in PIDW, even cultivators weren't truly respected as adults until they were married. In other words, marriage was a requirement! A spouse was a job position! Of course Bing-ge's wives would sell out for the best possible candidate, even if they were ambitious power-hungry snakes without a romantic bone in their body! Especially if they were ambitious power-hungry snakes without a romantic bone in their body!

In fact, even the Peak Lords of Cang Qiong did it! They were even married to each other! Even the Sect Leader! Haha, it wasn't so weird after all!

God. It would have been fine if he left it without explanation. It wasn't even like he kept the explanation -- no, he wrote it and forgot about it, just like how he did with half of the shit he wrote sleep-deprived and running on caffeine alone. And now he was stuck with this.

"Do you have any objections?" Shizun said, and then Shang Qinghua had to go noooo, of course not, Yue Qingyuan was a mighty and handsome cultivator who topped the unofficial rankings for most eligible bachelor on Cang Qiong for three years straight! How could this lowly Shang Qinghua possibly have any objections?

It was super lucky that Shen Qingqiu was too busy being engaged with Liu Qingge to murder Shang Qinghua for the affront.

Anyway, that was how Shang Qinghua had ended up here -- alone with Yue Qingyuan, sitting across from each other and drinking tea. There was a plate of delicately shaped cakes sitting between them that Shizun had heavily suggested Shang Qinghua should make. You know, to show off his culinary skills to his... his fiance.

“Shang-shidi," Yue Qingyuan said, turning a cake over in one hand. There was some muffled yelling in the background. Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge were clearly having a great time of their own scheduled courtship meeting session.

"Yue-shixiong," Shang Qinghua said. "Hi."

Yue Qingyuan's smile didn't waver. "These are very good," he said politely.

Of course they were good. Shang Qinghua wouldn't have been able to successfully suck up to Shizun if they weren't good. It had taken a lot of practice! And sabotage! Practice AND sabotage!

"Haha, thanks," Shang Qinghua said.

Faintly, an explosion sounded in the background. Yue Qingyuan's brows furrowed slightly. "Shidi," he said. "Could you perhaps open the door?"

[seraphim-soulmate]

22 October 2023

I'm sick with grief I'm sick with longing I'm sick with wanting. someone come put me down please. im longing and wanting vague concepts and I don't have a focus for my energy and I want to curl away and rot rot rot alone and unloved and dejected.

maybe the reason I put myself in positions of caretaking is so someone will need me. even if I don't want that, the desire to be needed and wanted is so profound that maybe I put myself in worse conditions just so I don't have to confront my people pleasing and how to have/keep friends bcs there's just so many relational problems that I have that I feel unfixable but I KNOW that's not true and I KNOW everyone is a little bit weird relationally it just hurts so so bad when you keep being shot down and how do you not take that personally. it's like oh lol you like me bcs im fun to drink with, I'm not too much of a hassle for a disabled person, ill essentially repent via actions or purchases when I think I've done a misdeed so the scales are somehow balanced again. but aside from that, my life consists of perpetual nightmares of my own creation and I therefore cannot see the value in being friends with me or what I bring to the table in a friendship aside from the things I bring as a coping tool so I feel like I have value (cleaning, doing favors). sometimes I can bring good conversations, but it's hard when I'm with different communication styles that want to talk about life, but not in a deep way or not about my life, or interests I don't share, bcs I'm just stuck. I don't know how to talk suddenly and I've got nothing to add. and you can't say a relationship isn't transactional. it is ! it is about what you're bringing and what you have to offer, on what other basis would this be? if you don't like me because you don't think I add value to your life because of my negativity and life struggles, why would you want to be friends with me? I try to cultivate the moments of peace and kindness and love and feeling good but it must be said that my life is not easy and all I can give are those moments. Sometimes those moments aren't enough, because the pain seeps through and the reality slithers in and I'm confronted and stuck again. It sucks because it's so scary and hard for me, and I know how scary and hard it is for everyone else to see someone suffer like this and not know what to do except keep your distance so your life doesn't also go up in flames. Or maybe I'm really just not that important and it's not a big deal.

I feel like I spend all of my time working on my mental health, working on my physical health, trying to keep going and making it to something that feels kind of good or stable. or like for the last two years, just fucking staying alive after a life-changing diagnoses and symptomatic presentations. I guess that doesn't leave much room for actual joy when you're running yourself dry with your "HAVE TOs" and get to spend considerably less time on things that add quality and fulfillment to my life. I guess I'm just not crazy in a fun way. Maybe I got boring somewhere along the way. Maybe people don't want to spend the time to unravel and discover me bcs we want bite-sized consumable info. Maybe my fears and self doubts are major blocks in building or maintaining friendships. Maybe I'm supposed to be getting more support with my physical and mental health, but I don't know where from and I don't know how. It was really nice having my dad do basic tasks that I was dreading, that lifted a lot of weight off of me and it's a lot to constantly care for everything on a daily basis alone.

I'm often so stuck in trying to talk about the present in conversations as well, where there's nothing much happening, and I don't let myself dig into my past anymore too much because it's a whole can of worms that sometimes I don't know if they're acceptable or not. At this point I guess I'd rather placate someone with mediocre conversation, or correct myself anytime I fall into "too weird" territory, than to go into my past and talk about things I have enjoyed because they're often quite blurry and bring a lot of baggage with them as well. Like Ophelia and Barbies were very important when I was 16, but I guess not a lot of people want to hear about that and it's not a time I remember very clearly either.

And being more stable is really helpful in having more stable friendships, or making new friendships since you can show that you have interests and a life. I miss having a routine and goals and something to focus my energy into instead of letting my mind wander and body decay. But I got here in the first place because I wasn't well enough to continue. Even if university was exhilarating and felt good, it also felt really fucking bad not being able to do it well, struggling so much, and having my physical and mental health fail me. Like I'm trying to rebuild from that but I'm really not sure how. Again, here I oscillate between "you're taking this too seriously, everyone struggles really hard with university and you should be able to push through" and "you deserve better accomodations, you deserve to not feel perpetually uncomfortable by how many classes you have to take because you cannot pass them all but you need student status. yes actually, your mental and physical health is different from that of others and is understandably debilitating, even if others can't see it".

and I just sit there with those and go "okay so what the fuck can I do?" and I realize what I have to do is put myself out there in lower-stakes work and build up gradually to maybe being able to do it again. I'm so scared of not finishing my degree bcs it means less money, it means less employment opportunities, it means confronting my most deeply rooted fear of becoming homeless and I shouldn't even have a game plan for that. That shouldn't even be something I have to reassure myself about. But it is, because it's this terror so deeply seated in me that it dictates so much of my life. Don't get tattoos, you'll lower your chances at getting a job -> you'll end up homeless AND it will be your fault since your self expression makes you unemployable. Don't do too many body modifications, justify the ones you have made regarding your gender, it's not really okay that you can't fit into the mold but it seems like that's the life you've chosen so now lie in it. Make up for it in other aspects of your life. Don't make your body or your life yours, you have to be a polished cog so you can easily obtain work and not end up in a bad situation, which for some reason feels more like a prophecy than a fear. My mom pointing out a homeless man to me when I was 3-5 because I was laughing at him and telling me "that could be us. so easily, that could be us" or my childhood best friend telling me I'd "die under a bridge of a drug overdose" bcs I didn't staunchly say I'd never do drugs. I guess those things do stay with you.

My dad dedicating himself to work for his entire life so he wouldn't be in a bad position either obviously sticks with me a lot too. Him saying "people would rather buy from someone with traditional pronouns than they/them" while I was visiting recently and just trying to process all of that and every bit of self he's given up to be a tool for the machine, the mindset and ideology one has to form to explain that to themselves. Of course the only thoughts and knowledge I have about work come from the person who raised me and had pretty radical views on employment. And I feel guilty for not being able to carry that on. For having the audacity to be disabled, to be queer, to be unemployable by some standards. It was unbelievably crushing not being able to accept that job offer for the lawyer's office because I was having to medicate heavily to get through the day and I'd collapse after it, and it feels like such a privileged position to be able to refuse employment because I go through something that every other employed person also goes through. I just really really have to listen to my boundaries and limits or my body will hospitalize me, and rather quickly at that. If it doesn't hospitalize me, I'll lose my job from being out on too many sick days from having symptoms and having to recover, getting sick extremely easily and getting sick bcs of stress. I was also supposed to be a cog and it's stupid, but it hurts that I can't be the perfect employee.

[alyjojo]

March 👵🏻 2023 Monthly - Cancer

Whole of your energy: Temperance

Your reading has a similar vibe to Gemini’s, you could have that in your chart somewhere, and their energy is here, could be dealing with one. Taurus too. A relationship has gone wrong and though you seemed fine with this at the time, you’re kinda beating yourself up over it now. There are regrets. You seem the be the one at fault, that’s how the reading places you, so you’re especially hesitant to reach out when the connection has gone full Hermit already.

What’s going on in March:

The Lovers:

There was definitely more than one person in this relationship, and it doesn’t say who the other even is, so they must not be that important. Or they didn’t end up being so. But this person caught on to what you were up to, and basically told you if you can do better, then go ahead & do better. The ending came with a realization, they’ve healed, maybe spiritually even, while you’re working on healing and still have them soaking in your energy, even if they’re long moved on.

2 Pentacles:

You weigh the pros and cons of having waited to leave this person behind. You regret not being honest from the start. I do see indulgence, you liked the attention you got, but it’s not because of you being unhappy, unsatisfied, in fact I get this person didn’t even do anything wrong, thus the guilt. And you do like them. “Like”. They love you. Or did.

9 Cups:

You could be very young. You like to party, have some drinks, go out, have a good time, cause some chaos and destruction. Flirt a little, wiggle your ass, that kind of thing 😆 Its mostly harmless, and when it hasn’t been you’re more than aware. The thought that you would have to give this up is what kept you from being honest with this person in the first place. There’s definitely another person in the mix, maybe a one night stand or something like that? I don’t see them current, or as competition, more like what’s happened is over and you had a good time in reality…but you know you can’t say that. And maybe you haven’t said anything at all and this person has no clue. You could’ve been the one that wanted to split just for freedom’s sake, more good times and less serious ones.

Queen of Cups rev:

This card does not paint you in a positive light. It’s emotionally disconnected, overly emotionally reactive, manipulative and very immature, some combination of all that. Denying with tears in your eyes but you’re guilty and you know it. You are by no means telling the truth. You don’t want to lose any of your options. Your guilt is telling you that you should let them go. Everything else wants to keep them around, but I don’t see any love on your side.

King of Pentacles:

Probably your person, this person gives you everything you’ve ever wanted. They’re incredibly romantic and let you know how much they care on a regular basis, this is a type to buy you gifts and offer you the moon 🌙 with a picket fence to keep it safe. They’re head over heels for you…but they do not come up as your soulmate. You seem to already understand that and feel bad that though you may be hanging on, you’re happy with the more casual lifestyle, and this person is the King of Pentacles. *NOT* casual. You want to get married, buy a goat farm in Tennessee and run a business together? He’s your man. You want to club and run on sexy strangers that come & go that you might have a sporadic passionate rendezvous with…not so much. You’re not wrong whichever you choose, by being authentic to yourself, you know you’re just wrong by not speaking up & playing along with a life you may not even want, because this is simply a good person.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Taurus, Gemini, Pisces, Libra & Cancer

Oracles: ✨

“Cultivate inner Buddhy.”

35 Inner Journey 🧘‍♀️

Not all who wander are lost. At times we are so consumed with our own personal journey that we project our journey onto another. Every soul arrives on this planet with lessons to learn and a life to live. For as many souls that are out there, there are that many different journeys. Do not judge another’s journey - always respect where another person is on their path. Meet everyone you come in contact with where they are on their path. Do not insist they come to where you are. By doing this, you will not only expose those around you to your own healing vibration, but you will offer them acceptance without judgment. This is a great gift to both give and receive.

We enter into March as:

Silver Cloud ☁️:

“Every silver lining has a cloud.”

If confusion is a familiar state for you, then you already know Silver Cloud. Clarity is only available by journeying with him for awhile. Through a willingness to be in confusion, we find clarity. You are to slow down, meditate, contemplate, rest. If you were to know what lies ahead, you might not take on the next task willingly. You’re not supposed to know, you will when it’s time. Bide your time in gratitude and know that clarity will come along the way.

What is to be learned in March:

Salmon Chairs 🌷

“Come sit in my chair and feel my love”.

People, places and events are being drawn to you beyond your wildest imagination. Aim higher, for you will draw even greater experiences into your life. It is time to step up to the next level. All “things” are energy and will be drawn to you when you allow your energy to grow. The Salmon Chairs is being brought to you as a gift, to raise your faith and self esteem. It is a gentle and profound change in the way one relates to themselves, and the world. We create the life we feel we deserve. Often we feel we must do something to prepare, yet Salmon Chairs says “Stay in the light of truth, meditate, and relax - die if you drink in the light and allow spiritual wealth, you will be surrounded by material wealth.” This is about subtle action, and receiving is an action. You are being told to sit still and receive the bounty that is coming to you. Salmon Chairs can also signify a love relationship in the wings, it’s your choice to receive it. It may also be a present relationship that’s moving to the next level, both spiritually and physically.

Salmon/Pink may be a lucky color 💖

[ghooostbaby]

deeeep dive into why and how wei wuxian and lan wangji love each other, complete each other, are the inverse reflection of each other’s deeply hidden internal selves mirrored through the other’s external self, lan wangji’s inner wildness that he has to conceal and protect recognizing and loving wei wuxian’s outer wildness, wei wuxian’s deep, fuddy-duddy morality and values that he conceals with an elaborate subterfuge of jokes, mischief, and bravado, seeing and loving in lan wangji the ability to say no that it was never safe for him to express directly, “between you and me there is no need for thank you and sorry”

oh and a slight diversion midway through into a manifesto on WEI WUXIAN IS NOT INSECURE the whole story is about a society where being liked is ESSENTIAL for survival and it is actually completely perilous not to be liked, and his “people pleasing” is a skill and tool for his survival especially as an orphan and proven to be a necessary one when he stops doing it and STOPS SURVIVING

after the cut discussing the very interesting dynamics of consent in general in the novel, but not going into the consensual non-consent kink stuff till the last paragraph if you need to avoid for any reason.

I've been thinking about how Lan WangJi sees in Wei WuXian the exterior, unfettered expression of the wildness Lan WangJi holds in him and protects with rigid codes of conduct, propriety and outward dignity.

I have had this sense that these two are mirrors, either one reflecting the hidden, interior (and unallowed) self of the other. but it seemed more clear from Lan WangJi's side, especially knowing about his history with his mother and the spicy side that emerges when he drinks and in the extras.

I also - just... the way this whole story shows how romantic love is truly this longing for your self, to become yourself, to become the thing you're not allowed to be, seeing in that person the expression of whatever it is you can't become and longing for it, protecting it, joining with it as closely as you can without ever being able to let it live inside your own body.

On the surface it seems a lot more difficult for Wei WuXian to find a piece of his soul in Lan Wangji. I think its a bit too simplistic to see whatever draws Wei WuXian to Lan Wangji as a reverse-psychology sort of craving of acceptance from the only one who won't give it, pushing and pushing against this impenetrable boundary that he needs to break to feel assurance that no matter what he can make anyone accept him.

And he is SO drawn - in a mind boggling way, in the teenage flashbacks Lan WangJi rudely and aggressively throws him off over and over and Wei WuXian cannot keep away! Even when he talks about how boring Lan WangJi is, he never stops trying to be around him and talk to him.

I've seen discussions of the way Wei WuXian has always relied on the goodwill of others to survive, and that his placating of others to survive is a character flaw. Although that seems only halfway true. 

As a young child he didn't have anyone's goodwill for a while and he survived, and it seems like he can always find a way to survive from whatever means and sometimes very limited resources he has at his disposal. Doing what he has to do to become powerful enough to survive losing his core and being thrown into the burial mounds slowly costs him the goodwill of everyone around him - and what happens to him as a result shows how much placation was a truly necessary for someone without the protection of biological/hereditary family bonds.

(Don’t get me started on how his loss of his golden core and his development of demonic cultivation to give himself power by ‘unnatural methods’ through the use of a musical instrument is a metaphor for disability and the way ableist society sees the use of accessibility devices and tools. Actually please DO get my started haha.)

Wei WuXian is so charismatic and seems very used to getting what he wants and needs on the strength of that. He pushes a lot of boundaries and seems pretty confident and flexibly prepared to handle the consequences, whether beatings or harsh words. But he does work so hard to make others feel good, good with him, good with themselves.

When he is in the cave with Lan WangJi, Wei WuXian is described as "like one who forgets all past pain as soon as the wound heals". He can't resist coming up beside Lan WangJi and talking to him again and again after every time Lan WangJi pushes him off, only finally staying away when Lan WangJi bites him (and he still keeps trying to talk to him after a little bit!) and then calls him an awful person (!!! Bad Wangji! :(((( ). In the end, when Lan WangJi (very minimally) discloses what happened to his sect and his father, and even cries, because of all the defences/assaults Lan WangJi has put up Wei WuXian can't do anything or say anything to help and feels miserable.

Lan WangJi just absolutely refuses to allow Wei WuXian to take care of him - and I began to wonder maybe that’s what Wei WuXian actually really likes about him? Why he is unable to resist coming up to Lan WangJi again and again? Maybe because Lan WangJi refuses to let Wei WuXian appease him. He’s not trying to crack Lan WangJi to get to this impenetrable place of approval and acceptance. In a way he can’t quite understand, Lan WangJi is a respite for Wei WuXian from the constant work to be the one who pleases.

And  how different this is to how Wei WuXian is (or has to be) with Jiang Cheng when he wakes up in Lotus Pier after the cave. Jiang Cheng gets so down and really really needs Wei WuXian to do what he does so well (and wasn’t allowed to do with Lan WangJi) - chasing Jiang Cheng down while being injured and reassuring him about all his insecurities about his father's acceptance and becoming a sect leader and Wei WuXian's own abilities excelling his - and at first Jiang Cheng is pushing him away, but he really does need Wei WuXian to do all this to feel better.

Wei WuXian is described as not wanting to be lonely, and not wanting to see other people unhappy, and he keeps trying to push and pull with whatever he has to not be lonely and lift the mood for those around him. I don't think it's a kind of codependency or insecurity. It’s not that Wei WuXian is afraid to say no, in fact I would say he doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do, but he must always do it creatively, with humour. Similarly to Nie Huaisang, he uses a persona of foolishness to give himself a covert agency.

I also think I'm writing this because I don't like seeing this discussed as a sad bean character flaw for him to always need to be liked - its a strategy, its a tool, its how he survives and excels. Doesn’t the whole story prove how essential being liked is to a human’s survival? And he is so so good at being liked, in making others happy, even when he is refusing to do what others want from him that he doesn't want to do, he does it in a way that deflects criticism, with a smiling bravado that never says what it truly means and has people writing him off as shameless or foolish or just endearing himself toward them despite themselves.

He is always at work really, with jokes and flattery or mischief and teasing, to get the resources he wants and needs. Case and point, when he makes a big coquettish show for mianmian, definitely not being "people pleasing" for her, but the group of girls around them all find it funny and cute and in the end she gives him a perfume sachet which ends up being a valuable resource for later. Or the time he outright tells Jiang Cheng that if you give the girls some lotus seeds they'll remember you and return the favour in the future. (Also notice how his interactions with girls seen as flirtatious are actually strategic resource-gathering acts.) These are the skills he has developed to meet his own needs. (THIS IS NOT A CHARACTER FLAW. I REPEAT.) He takes what he needs and steals from the Lotus Pier markets knowing it'll be paid for, he lives like he never know when his next windfall will come from so he'll take what he can when he can find it. Like Jiang Fengmian said, if there is no guarantee of a meal in the future then today's meal should still be enjoyed. It’s how Wei WuXian said to Nie Huaisang at Cloud Recesses, you have to find ways to make your own fun out of whatever you have. So he gets kicked out of class, goes fishing, gets alcohol, he pursues his own pleasure. He actually is quite insistent of his own agency and right to choose, he just can never directly say no.

And that little detail that Wei WuXian always tucks coins into his clothes just in case, that makes him able to buy food when he and Jiang Cheng are on the run... breaks my heart and reveals so much about the way Wei WuXian is constantly at work on ensuring his own survival and never takes for granted whether he is safe (he knows he never is). 

I've seen some people talking about Wei WuXian sacrificing so much for his brother and sister out of a need to be accepted out of a chronic sense of insecurity. But isn’t this just true? Doesn't he live in a world where being accepted is absolutely essential for survival? Doesn’t this whole story show the cruelty of a social system based on networks of hereditary/biological family that closes out and scapegoats any outsiders, and that without biological family connections that can enclose around you, you can never truly be safe if not constantly working to earn acceptance? (And then beautifully ends with the way a gay romantic relationship that queers marriage/family/etc disrupts all this and creates safety and inclusion for Wei WuXian without needing a normative family.) (AKA romantic love does not resolve some internal personal problem in Wei WuXian but disrupts and refuses and rebels against the problem of SOCIETY.) (*breathes heavily*)

And that’s why Lan WangJi is magnetizing to Wei WuXian. Lan WangJi is always saying no. Although what Lan WangJi sees in Wei WuXian is an exterior wildness, Wei WuXian is not really out of control so much as he is playing and caring and supplicating and showing off and pleasing people to get the resources and the acceptance he needs to live his life. He has firm values and desires that he can never outwardly state, only creatively spinning plates to distract and deflect while he refuses what goes against his values, protects who he cares for, or takes what he needs to in order to survive/thrive. Lan WangJi embodies an exterior of resoluteness and direct agency that Wei WuXian doesn't have the luxury of. And he's so drawn to him for his ability to repeatedly say no, to refuse to get along, or make others laugh, make other people happy, but just simply follow what he thinks is right.

Wei WuXian’s outward wild movement protects an inward stillness. He is an exterior of people-pleasing around an interior of refusal. He is an exterior of youthful rebellion around an interior of unflinching morality. He sees in Lan WangJi the outward expression of his stillness, his morality, his resistance that he can't express, that he's had to protect.

FYI after the cut gets more into the dynamics of consent in the story, and the last paragraph directly talks about consensual non-consent kink play in wangxian’s relationship.

When Wei WuXian is with Lan WangJi, there is no work to be done. Lan WangJi cannot be swayed by him, and so there's no point vying for resources or favors. Lan WangJi will either give him everything or refuse him everything based on who he is, it does not matter what Wei WuXian does and he can't do anything that will change Lan WangJi’s mind. Someone he literally can't win over. After the resurrection, they are often in an adorable tug of war, where Wei WuXian tries to take care of Lan WangJi, while Lan WangJi won't allow him to but demands to care of Wei WuXian right back. Actually, Lan WangJi insists that Wei WuXian take everything he wants or needs from him and is even angry when he doesn't take or when Wei WuXian tries to offer a gesture in return, even something as simple as a thank you Lan WangJi won't accept. It’s kind of adorable how frustrated Wei WuXian is in doing this thing he's learned that he needs to do, and just... so confused by Lan WangJi, and has to find a way to please this person who aggressively refuses to be pleased and is ONLY pleased by Wei WuXian being pleased.

(Not to mention the way Wei WuXian delights in finding that Lan WangJi can’t say what he wants, and they have sort of these chaotic cohesive both-being-so-pleased-by-working-hard-to-please each-other moments where Wei WuXian is letting Lan WangJi please him by finding out what pleases Lan WangJi and giving it to him.)

The wildness Lan WangJi had always hidden within himself is something he sees as just as dangerous as Wei WuXian thinks of his desire to refuse. He saw his mother be socially alienated, shunned, and eventually die because of her wildness. His ability to survive in the world, aka to be accepted by his family, is contingent on him being able to control this inner wildness. From a young age (re: Phoenix Mountain kiss) he could only understand his sexual desires for Wei WuXian as something repulsive or dangerous that had to be repressed and controlled, and that the only way he could imagine his desires as possible was as non-consensual. His secret gay desires were never available to him as anything but something monstrous.

Importantly, it’s not like everyone else other than Lan WangJi are all vampires cruelly demanding Wei WuXian’s constant sacrifice. Wei WuXian is always vibrantly, charismatically offering so much, before anyone has asked. It’s Wei WuXian who creates this kind of relationship for himself again and again. It’s Lan WangJi who simply refuses - he refuses to charmed, to be cared for. And so in the end Lan WangJi becomes the one person who Wei WuXian feels doesn't need anything from him. When he says he's eating the corpse's fruit to save Lan WangJi money and Lan WangJi says that will never be necessary. Or when Wei WuXian asks what toy he should win for Lan WangJi at the market game, and Lan WangJi says anything Wei WuXian gets will be the one he wants. (XD stahhhhp it’s too sweet !!!) He really just wants Wei WuXian to be, to exist, to spend his life discovering his own desires and allow Lan WangJi to help satisfy them, he doesn't want anything from Wei WuXian other than him living - happy and safe.

It takes someone like Lan WangJi to refuse Wei WuXian’s aggressive generosity, it’s definitely not an easy thing to say no to Wei WuXian, dazzling or annoying people so chaotically before they even realize there’s something to say no to. The sacrifice he gives to Jiang Cheng, he never even offers a choice - and perhaps it would have been too much for Jiang Cheng to accept if he had the chance.

Lan WangJi’s statement "Between us there is no need for thank you and sorry" seems like one of the most important sentences in the novel, and you can’t help but noticed the way “sorry” and “thank you” is littered meaningfully through the book. What is owed, what the characters owe to each other, the give and take, touches every part of the story (down to wangxian's erotic explorations!).

When Jiang Cheng talks to Wei WuXian at the Guanyin temple he makes a lot of contradictory statements about what Wei WuXian owes, what he was given, what he took, what he (Wei WuXian still) is owed in return. Wei WuXian, according to Jiang Cheng, took everything from the Jiang clan, and paid them back with their deaths. The Jiang clan give him his life when they took him in, and he owed Jiang Cheng service for the rest of his life as the right hand to the sect leader, that’s what Wei WuXian had promised anyway. At the same time, Wei WuXian sacrificed everything (his golden core) to Jiang Cheng, by giving everything he was taking one more thing - Jiang Cheng’s right to even be angry at him. Jiang Cheng had taken everything from Wei WuXian. Everything that happened around Wei WuXian after could be said to be because of the loss of his golden core, which Jiang Cheng might be said to be responsible for. But he never asked for it, maybe he never would have wanted it. He wishes Wei WuXian told him, but Jiang Cheng never told Wei WuXian his golden core was melted while he was sacrificing himself to save Wei WuXian. He wants Wei wuxian to say sorry, but that makes him feel pathetic. And Jiang Cheng says sorry too. It’s a mess of paradoxes, and in the end somehow it seems like the scales are balanced in the most hollow, dismal way.

What is owed, what is given, what is taken ... Wei WuXian has never been part of a family. He has always had to say thank you and sorry for everything he's taken. Wei WuXian himself admits that he used "thank you" as a way to enforce distance between himself and Lan WangJi. Lan WangJi's point i think is that they belong to each other, Wei WuXian is his, and he is Wei WuXian's, unconditionally. The way that Jiang Cheng speaks of him in the Guanyin temple (admittedly I read a fan translation and this is very nuanced, related to slight variations of grammar), even when Jiang Cheng clearly is so broken by the loss of Wei WuXian from his life, he talks about Wei WuXian as an outsider. It is what MY family gave to YOU, never what you took from our family. But at one point Wei WuXian was part of their family - but he takes too much, and becomes an ex-disciple, not a brother. Wei WuXian’s inclusion as a Jiang was always conditional. 

Even when Wen Qing and Wen Ning leave him to go take the blame for qiongqing path they tell him "thank you and sorry", drawing a line between them and him, so he doesn’t even belong to these people who he sacrificed everything for. The way Wei WuXian acted when he was younger, he was always keenly aware of this - he always knew that he didn’t belong to anyone, no one is going to protect him unconditionally. And after first escaping the Burial Mounds, he is done pretending. When Lan WangJi warns him about what a demonic cultivation path will do to his heart, Wei WuXian replies: “After all, on the topic of how my heart is, what could other people know about it? Why should other people care about it?” He is done pleasing. Nothing has changed really, he still belongs to no one and is alone, but now he is angry about it, and instead of saying thank you and sorry he is going to become too powerful to be at anyone's mercy. And then we see in the story afterward what happens to people who don't say thank you and sorry.

The whole point I think is the impossibility of choice, the impossibility of consent in this society. If he didn't forgo the behaviour his social acceptance was conditional on, he wouldn't have survived the burial mounds. But once he becomes powerful enough to survive and get revenge on the Wens, he is socially outcast. Except he was already outcast from the beginning.

And so how do Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi find a way through all that to a life together where all their desires are possible, where Wei WuXian can say no while also being pleasing (safe) to others, and Lan WangJi can indulge in his wild desires while still being good? The answer is kinky sex!

It is kind of miraculous and beautiful how Wei WuXian finds a way to say no, while simultaneously pleasing Lan WangJi, giving pleasure, while taking it, saying no, and knowing his refusal is not just tolerated, but gives Lan WangJi pleasure, knowing Lan wangji and knowing the painful belief Lan WangJi holds within that his desires are unacceptable and unspeakable, and that Wei WuXian can take care of Lan Wangji in a secret little way and please him and give everything to him by craving this wildness in Lan WangJi while at the same time he gets to say no again and again , and it won't push Lan WangJi away, he can refuse everything while at the same time be totally pleasing and thus safe, and also for Lan WangJi, Wei WuXian's pleasure at saying "no" while still being held onto, that he genuinely wants to be fucked even while begging Lan WangJi to stop (and the many ways he does give his consent for this throughout, especially their first time), allows Lan WangJi the ecstatic feeling that this idea that his sexual desires are only possible through force are not just something his lover forgives him for but something his lover is SO turned on by, and that he has consent for his fantasies of non-consent, Wei WuXian has the same fantasies from the other side, he is doing what he is supposed to while doing what he shouldn't, and actually these monstrous feelings in him allow him to take care of Wei WuXian in a way that he needs - that they both need - and all these impulses that are so wrong with Wei WuXian become very right and a way to do good. And they are just both so perfect and perfect for each other and I love them and I am so happy for them to have a long kinky life together.

[moodreadmoonchild]

Mountain Ash / Drusilla Blackthorn Theories

In Norse & Celtic mythology, the first man and woman were forged from the Ash Tree and Rowan Tree (Mountain Ash), respectively. The connection between these two was just too much for me to not obsess over. Below are some notes about the symbolism of Mountain Ash and how I think it could tie into TWP. Throughout the notes are numbers in brackets that tie to my insane corresponding theories at the end.

Mountain Ash (Rowan Tree)

The Blackthorns are from Cornwall [1] which would more closely link them to Celtic mythology/symbolism. In Celtic mythology the Rowan Tree is known as the Tree of Life and symbolises courage, wisdom and protection. However, there is also a non-celtic legend that a Rowan tree bent over a fast flowing river so that Thor could grab onto a branch and kept him from being swept into the underworld [2].

The Rowan Tree has almost always been tied to symbolism of protection in general but especially against witchcraft, faerie spells, enchantment [3], and evil spirits. For several reasons but most notably: at the bottom of each berry is a pentagram which was seen as a symbol of protection in the pre-christian era. It was considered such a sacred tree that it was forbidden (and seen as immense bad luck) to cut one down, taboo to cut one with a knife, and forbidden from being cultivated for anything other than ritual or ceremonial purposes. There is an old rhyme:

“Rowan tree and red thread / make the witches tine their speed.”

Coinciding with this, across the UK (including Cornwall) crosses made of rowan twigs bound with red thread were sewn into the lining of coats or carried in pocket for protection. Also weird fact/coincidence: The Rowan Tree is the clan badge of the Malcom family (as in Malcom Fade?) and is also the tree that the devil is said to have hung his mother from [4].

Other Uses of Rowan Trees

The wood of a Rowan tree was used to make Carving Rune Staves [5] and walking sticks made from Rowan wood are believed to protect travellers from becoming lost as well as help clear the mind and open up perspectives [6]. The bark & berries of a Rowan tree were used to dye ceremonial garments black [7]. Rowan wood was also often used to make spindles & spinning wheels (sleeping beauty anybody?)

Rowan and Fairy:

The Rowan fairy is seen as one of the most helpful (fairies aren’t that helpful imo so not that high of a bar to cross but anyways), as she values matters of this world while seeking to establish a connection with other realms. She invites interchange between the realms but firmly repels intruders [8]. She has such a grounding influence that she can connect you to the other realms while keeping you firmly in this world [9]. Rowan trees are also known as the "portal tree". It is considered the threshold, between this world and other realms allowing you not only to go somewhere but also leave.

Like hawthorn & elder trees, the Rowan was denoted as a Faerie tree because of its white flowers. Having a Rowan tree in your yard/garden is said to provide the home and family with faerie blessings, the protection of the fey, and protection from they fey as well [10]. Rowan was also thought to ward off changelings [11] and protect the living from the dead [12].

Dru Theories:

The first ever shadowhunters to drink from the mortal cup were from Cornwall. I feel like this fact would not have been brought up unless it ties it to the Blackthorns being one of the first/original shadowhunters.

Pandemonium is being slated as the sort of ultimate demon realm and what are demon realms of not Underworlds. I think this could tie into Dru directly or indirectly providing Ash/Kit/Jaime (we don’t know who) protection from Pandemonium. Maybe that’s what it means on the card by “with me you are safe.”

Dru will be immune to the enchantments placed on Ash because of her “OG” shadowhunter blood. We assume that Julian was immune because his feelings were shut off, but it could be more.

I think Sammael (the devil) is the big bad in TWP. The witch Baba Yaga is stated to be the devil's grandmother & is already tied to TLH through Lucie’s “all the stories are true” story and maybe there is a bigger connection we don’t yet see. Sammael’s crime as stated in the codex was “softening the veils between the human world and the Void.” In contrast, the Celts believed the veil between heaven and the mortal world was thinnest on mountain summits which is where Rowan trees are known to grow and are indigenous to. Dru could be the counterbalance or a conduit to a counterbalance.

Not so much a theory but the fact that Rowan wood was used to make essentially a Celtic version of a stele and that it’s name is linked to the word “rune” itself (Rowan means “a secret” or “to whisper”) cannot be ignored and seen as insignificant.

Dru truly just wants to be listened to and acknowledged as someone with valuable input. It’s why she immediately connects with Jaime. In regards to providing clarity, she helps Kieran whenever he is struggling with the Mark/Cristina situation. She’s a wise little bby. And with taking in perspectives - she listens to Tavvy and convinces Helen and the others to be the ones to try to anchor Julian & Emma. Originally she wrote him off as the others did to her and then understood his perspective and it worked. Helping Julian & Emma find their way back to their mortal bodies & souls.

Also not a theory but Dru’s favorite color is black so I think that’s a rad connection.

Dru obviously cares about this world and her family and friends here so she would care to protect it and stop Janus/The Queen/whomever if they try to destroy it. She doesn’t hate faerie or the fey (obvi) but she won’t stand by if they try to hurt this world.

This could be how TLH ties into TWP. James struggles to come back to this world while in the demon realms except for with the help of Cordelia & Cortana. Maybe Dru and the Blackthorn sword will be the same for Ash/Kit/Jaime and be a sort of guiding light. Also ties into the whole “keeps you from being lost” thing mentioned earlier.

I think Ash or maybe even Kit could be the fey protecting Dru & her family/friends from evil in general but Ash/Kit could also be protecting them from the fey.

Ok this one is a doozy. buckle in. Changlings are mundanes swapped (kidnapped) in exchange for a sickly fey. Ash is a human/shadowhunter child since shadowhunter blood always bleeds true. However, he grew up in Faerie, has fey attributes & through his enchantments he can perform some magic. Also he has those wings so obvi not totally normal human anymore. Kit’s a direct descendent of both the courts. His line was never intended to have Shadowhunter blood like Ash. He -like the sickly fey left behind- would have never known his origin and would have just thought he had the Sight if it weren’t for Jem & Tessa. I think that Dru’s friendship with Kit could help protect him and others close to him if Ash truly cares about Dru and doesn’t want to upset or hurt her.

Protection from the dead as well as evil spirits makes me think of Livvy and the “consequences from using necromancy” that’s already been hinted at by CC. I think Livvy will battle with trying to not to turn into an evil spirit. She has already almost possessed several people even though she was horrified & ashamed when she later realized what she was thinking of doing. She caused what felt like a small earthquake and broke a shit ton of stuff trying to fight that urge. I think even if Livvy doesn’t turn evil, power attracts power and some other spirit/entity/person could try to corrupt her or Ty with temptations of becoming a real person and not just a ghost. Maybe Livvy becomes jealous whenever she sees Ty & Dru interact in ways she can’t (even if she loves Dru). We barely catch a glimpse of how wicked powerful Livvy can become with what she did at the LA institute & the conservatory. The rest of the Blackthorns, the Carstairs, the Herondales, or even Livvy herself might need protection from the dead and/or evil spirits.

[shanastoryteller]

Wen Qing says yes because all she can think of is the consequences if she doesn’t.

She probably should have spent some time considering what, exactly, the consequences of saying yes would be.

~

Wei Wuxian wants to go back to the banquet and shake Jin Zixun until the information they need falls out, but Wen Qing knows that’s a terrible idea, knows that he shouldn’t be helping her at all but he definitely shouldn’t stand in front of the whole cultivation world and threaten the Jin family for her. He asks one of the servants instead, something she wouldn’t have thought to do, but he insists that servants know everything and after a hefty bribe he’s telling them what they need to know and even turns a blind eye when they take a horse that’s been left unattended.

She’s skinny on a good day and she hasn’t seen a good day in a long time. Wei Wuxian didn’t used to be this thin, this breakable, but he is now, and she tells herself it’s a good thing because the one horse is easily able to carry both of them. He sits behind her even though he takes the reigns and she leans back into him because she’s been holding herself up for so long and she’s tired and he’s helping her, something no one has been willing to in – ever, really. She thinks she could almost count his ribs against her back and thinks if she’s alive tomorrow she’ll give him a lecture about eating properly without a golden core to nourish him.

They arrive just as a guard is raising a broken flag pole above his head to skewer A-Ning.

Wei Wuxian stops him, using a talisman to bind the man’s wrist to his own and jerking him away from her brother. Who is alive, and whole, and does not have a pole through his stomach. She’s crying when she holds him and Wei Wuxian stands between them and everyone else and looks at the guards and her people and says, “I have an idea. It’s a bad idea.”

“Your ideas usually are,” she says, but she’s still shaking at having her little brother back in her arms so it doesn’t come out as acerbic as she intended.

~

It is a terrible idea. She doesn’t have to agree to it.

She does.

They go to the nearest temple in Lanling because they need witnesses for this. The monks are confused and frightened but bear witness as she bows three times to Wei Wuxian and is bowed to three times in return.

She is exhausted and scared and is still unconvinced that she’ll live to see the sunrise, but Wei Wuxian had helped her when she hadn’t asked and saved her brother and wouldn’t let the guards stop them from leading her family from the work camp, so she marries him.

~

They go back to Koi Tower. It’s terrifying but Jiang disciples meet them and look askance at all the rest of them but don’t hesitate to obey Wei Wuxian. They surround them as they walk and if they have opinions about being told to guard traitorous Wen, they don’t voice them. Maybe the fact that they’re guarding Wei Wuxian too is enough.

They enter the banquet hall and everything is silent. She doesn’t know how to read the look on everyone’s faces and she doesn’t try. Instead she stands by Wei Wuxian’s side and does what she does best – she doesn’t flinch.

“Wei Wuxian!” Jin Guangshan shouts, appalled. “What is the meaning of this?”

“Sect Leader Jin,” he says, offhand, casual, as if having his hall filled with Wen is a perfectly ordinary occurrence. “You’re so good at throwing parties. I was hoping you would throw one for me.”

Jin Guangshan’s eyes narrow. “Why would we throw a party?”

“Well, it is my wedding day,” he says, and holds out his hand. Wen Qing places her hand in his, lets his other hand settle warm and proprietary at the small of her back. “My wife, Wen Qing. We were just married at the temple in Lanling. Feel free to question the monks if you don’t believe me.”

The silence breaks, everyone shouting now, and A-Yuan’s cry cuts through all of them.

She hadn’t known that Wei Wuxian had any experience with children, but he turns automatically, opening his arms, and Granny barely hesitates before placing A-Yuan into them. After all, if they can’t trust Wei Wuxian, they’re all dead anyway.

A-Yuan, astonishingly, quiets instantly as Wei Wuxian bounces him in his arms, settling his head on his shoulder and sticking his thumb in his mouth.

“You,” Wen Qing turns, sees Jiang Cheng looking between them, and she could probably read the look on his face but she doesn’t want to. “He’s your – you have a – was it when we, after Lotus Pier?”

She and Wei Wuxian glance at each other, and maybe this marriage will work out, because that one glance contains a whole conversation of things they can’t say. The timeline almost works. A-Yuan likely was conceived sometime around the fall of Lotus Pier. If there is a child, Wei Wuxian’s actions become more understandable, seem less like an act of war and something closer to what they really are, an act of love.

She could have, she supposes, laid with Wei Wuxian and gotten pregnant and bore a child in the years since they’ve seen each other. She didn’t, but the only ones who know that are either dead or just as desperate as she is for this to work.

Or. Well.

Jiang Yanli’s face is easier to look at, even as it does something complicated then smooths. She was there and awake while they all recovered with her and Wen Ning. She knows that she and Wei Wuxian didn’t have any sort of epic romance, or even a quick tryst, during that time. Wei Wuxian was so obsessively focused on helping his brother that the idea he’d have paused long enough for sex when he hadn’t for sleep or food is ridiculous. But Jiang Yanli meets her gaze then pointedly lowers her eyes and something like relief trickles down Wen Qing’s spine.

Wei Wuxian looks around the hall and if he hesitates over Lan Wangji, that’s a conversation for them to have later, if there is a later.

“Sect Leader Jiang,” Wei Wuxian says quietly, formally, and Jiang Cheng nearly flinches before catching himself. “Meet my son. Wei Yuan.” He lets that echo through the hall and then says, “I could not leave him, nor the woman who bore him, nor the family that raised him when I remained in ignorance.”

She lowers his gaze as if in shame, for having a child out of marriage, for keeping that child from his father, but mostly she can’t stand to see the look at Jiang Cheng’s face any longer.

~

There is intense debate among the clans. The Lan and surprisingly even the Nie vote against the Jin and agree for the Wen to be released to the custody of the Jiang rather than the Jin. What’s the difference between one great clan and the other, after all, and Jiang Cheng fights for this, fights for them, and Wen Qing knows he’s really fighting for Wei Wuxian. Their marriage makes things too complicated, like they’d hoped. A-Yuan makes things too complicated, and everyone in the hall mostly seems to want to go back to drinking. There is some poorly hidden sentiment that if Wei Wuxian wants a war bride he should be entitled to her, for his contribution to the war, perhaps, and Wen Qing hates these people. They do not call her and her family tribute but they imply it easily enough.

If the price of the lives of her family is her pride, that’s fine. She abandoned that a long time ago.

~

“You have been good for him,” Jiang Yanli tells her a month after they’ve moved into Lotus Pier, a month of being the wife to Wei Wuxian and the mother to the now Wei Yuan. She doesn’t do a particularly good job at either of these roles, she thinks, but Wei Wuxian makes a good husband and a good father and it was his idea but she can’t help but feel guilty, can’t help but think she stole for herself and her family what was meant for someone else.

Her sister in law’s words aren’t wrong, however. She doesn’t let Wei Wuxian drink so much anymore and forces him to eat. She’s there in his bed when he gasps awke from nightmares and when he can do nothing more but clutch his chest and weep. She gets the story of the Burial Mounds from him, eventually, and she doesn’t know how to heal that kind of trauma, but she holds him when he cries and thinks even if she can’t be a proper wife, she can do this, and she heals the damage demonic cultivation does to his meridians, and it seems like such little things, comparatively, but it helps.

She’s offers up the excuse that demonic cultivation makes using his sword difficult and people stop asking him to carry it. A-Ning sticks to Wei Wuxian’s side when she can’t, looking faintly sad whenever Wei Wuxian makes an unhealthy choice, which is even more effective than her scolding, although not as effective as getting A-Yuan to place his chubby hand on Wei Wuxian’s cheek and go, “Baba no.”

Without so many nightmares, with having people around he can talk to freely, with no one pestering him about his sword, Wei Wuxian shoulders all the responsibilities of first disciple and brother of the clan leader, something he apparently hadn’t been able to do before.

She knows what the rumors say. Those that had been against her and her family being set free, relatively speaking, are now patting themselves on the back. Clearly the fearsome Yiling Patriarch has been cowed by marriage. His bastard son, who he loved enough at first sight to legitimize, has softened his sharp edges.

Wen Qing knows that’s all bullshit and Jiang Yanli does too, but.

He is better.

Jiang Cheng can’t seem to decide between being relieved and grateful at having his brother back and resentful that it took Wen Qing to bring it about and – whatever his feelings about her are, and her marriage to his brother are, which she doesn’t know because she refuses to acknowledge them.  

“I’m glad,” she says quietly.

Her sister in law squeezes her hand, and Wen Qing squeezes back, and if this isn’t exactly the life she wanted, well. It’s a life. That’s more than she thought she’d have.

She has a loving husband and an adorable son and living, healthy family. There is nothing for her to complain about.

Just because it all feels stolen, just because it all feels like something she never should have been given, doesn’t make it less good, doesn’t make it less hers.

~

Wen Qing knows that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are in love with each other because she has two functioning eyes. She’s known that since she was a teenager in Cloud Recesses.

She had not wanted to come between them. She hadn’t planned on it. This all hadn’t even been her idea.

She’s guilty enough about it that she ignores her own feelings.

At first, she doesn’t have any, not really. Then it hadn’t been right.

She’s never felt greedy before. She doesn’t like it but she doesn’t know how to stop it.

~

They’ve been married for over a year the first time Wei Wuxian kisses her.

They’ve been married nearly two years the first time Wei Wuxian kisses Lan Wangji.

Something settles in her then, relief burrowing into her bones. Lan Wangji comes to her after, a combination of desirously happy and mortified, and bows to her and looks her in the eye when he tells her that he’s in love with her husband.

“I know,” she says kindly, “he’s easy to love.” She pauses, then says, “I do not mind. If it’s you.”

His lips part, and she holds the place that should be his, married to Wei Wuxian, but.

She can share, if he can. Even if it can’t be official, on paper, she and Wen Ning can bear witness to him and Wei Wuxian bowing to each other and maybe she’ll finally be able to breath when she can give back some of what she stole.

~

There are rumors about the three of them.

They don’t listen to them.

A-Yuan calls Lan Wangji his father and no one corrects him and that’s good enough for her, really.

It’s a good life, and it’s hers, and she’s glad of it.  

[robininthelabyrinth]

🍊🍋Wen Chao and/or wen xu is a good guy and actually wants to end wen ruo jan's reign of terror (cloud recesses, lotus pier, xuanwu cave or all are elaborate ruses)

ao3

Untamed

“A-Chao,” Wen Xu said. “I think our father is insane.”

Wen Chao’s eye twitched visibly, his shoulders rising up to his ears. “You can’t say that! That’s treason!”

“I’ve already made sure there’s no one anywhere around us right now, not even people I trust.”

Down went the shoulders.

“Of course he’s insane,” Wen Chao said. “Some of his orders recently…”

He shook his head.

“Not much of an empire to rule if they’re all ghost puppets, is there?” he concluded. “I think the Yin Metal is poisoning his brain.”

“I agree,” Wen Xu said. “Now what do we do about it? He’s just ordered me to raze the Cloud Recesses.”

“…when you say raze –”

“To the ground.”

“What happened to just dominating the rest of the cultivation world?” Wen Chao complained. “I liked that plan. I was going to have a really great life. A palace. Servants. Good food. Even better wine. Enough clothing to keep Jiaojiao from complaining.”

“I…don’t know if that’s possible,” Wen Xu said. “Haven’t you given her three closets’ worth already?”

“I have no idea, and I’m too attached to my balls to ask.”

“Anyway,” Wen Xu said. “What do we do about it?”

“You’re asking me?” Wen Chao said.

“Well I’m certainly not going up against him by myself! He’ll kill me!”

“You think he would hesitate to kill both of us?”

“Ugh. Is there anyone we can ask for help? Anyone we haven’t pissed off?”

They both paused, thinking.

“…no,” Wen Chao said. “But in our defense, we never thought we’d need any of them, did we?”

“I don’t think anyone is going to buy that as an excuse,” Wen Xu said, scowling. “Fuck. Isn’t there anyone?”

“Well,” Wen Chao said. He did not continue.

“No,” Wen Xu said. “No. He literally wants to cut off our heads.”

“So does everyone else in the cultivation world,” Wen Chao said. “At least we know Sect Leader Nie hates Dad more than he hates us, which isn’t something that can be said about the rest of them.”

“Fuck,” Wen Xu said. “What’s our alternative plan?”

“…become ghost puppets?”

“Fuck.”

-

“You do remember that I want to kill you both?” Nie Mingjue said, scowling at them.

“We were betting on you wanting to kill our father more,” Wen Chao said.

“I’m not sure,” Nie Mingjue said. “You’re very obnoxious.”

Wen Chao scowled.

“He has a point, A-Chao,” Wen Xu said.

“Shut up.”

“Respect your elders!”

“If you two are going to start fighting, I’m leaving,” Nie Mingjue said.

They both squinted at him. “Does that mean you might not leave if we stop?” Wen Xu asked.

Nie Mingjue’s scowl got even worse, but eventually he begrudgingly said “…well, I really hate your father.”

They both exhaled in relief.

“What’s your plan?” Nie Mingjue asked.

“This was about as far as it went,” Wen Xu admitted, and Nie Mingjue gaped at him. “What? If we had planning skills, we’d be ruling the world.”

“Jiaojiao wants jewelry now,” Wen Chao agreed. “Lots of it. Keeping a mistress is expensive.”

“I’ll…take your word for that,” Nie Mingjue said, looking mildly uncomfortable.

“You’re always plotting against our father, right?” Wen Xu asked.

“No,” Nie Mingjue said. “If I could plot, your father would already be dead.”

“Good point,” Wen Chao said, but he wasn’t the sort of person to let little details like that discourage him. “But surely you know someone who can?”

“Just keep in mind that I’m on a deadline here,” Wen Xu said. “I have to leave to go raze the Cloud Recesses by the end of the week.”

“You want me to come up with a plan to defeat your father before the end of the week?!”

“Uh, yeah,” Wen Xu said. “That’s what I said, wasn’t it?”

“It was,” Wen Chao agreed.

“I’m going to go get Meng Yao,” Nie Mingjue decided. “And Huaisang, too, why not, somehow he always gets his way no matter what I do. Maybe he can come up with something for this.”

-

“I think we’re going to need expert assistance,” Nie Huaisang declared. “I’m thinking this is Wei Wuxian levels of plotting.”

“He can plot?” Wen Chao said dubiously. “Are you sure? He took nearly a week to fight a mildly ominous bird.”

“…is that so?” Nie Huaisang said, and sighed. “Okay, fine. Meng Yao, guess it’s up to you and me.”

Meng Yao was blinking his eyes very rapidly.

“What?” Wen Chao said. “You have an awful father too, don’t look so shocked about us wanting to get rid of ours.”

“That’s just how his brain works when he’s thinking,” Nie Huaisang assured him. “He’s kicking it like it’s a sleeping donkey that doesn’t want to get to work; give him a minute and he’ll be coming up with all sorts of ideas.”

“Good ideas?”

“All sorts of ideas.”

“…any good ideas? Mediocre ideas, even?”

“Listen, we have until the end of the week,” Nie Mingjue said irritably. “You’ll take whatever ideas we give you and you’ll like it, you hear me?”

“Is it too late to get Wen Zhuliu in on this?” Wen Xu asked Wen Chao.

“He has that weird thing for Dad,” Wen Chao reminded him.

“Fuck,” Wen Xu said. “I’d wiped that from my memory through the application of a great deal of alcohol, but yes, you’re right. Okay. Hit me with your worst plan.”

-

“That’s worse than I thought it was going to be.”

“Shut up and just do it.”

-

“I will now, in the name of the Wen sect, attack –” Wen Xu grimaced. “– this cave.”

“It’s a very important cave, actually,” one of the Lan disciples muttered.

“Be quiet,” Lan Wangji said.

They were all pretending not to notice the main force of Lan sect disciples, led by Lan Xichen, carting their precious books and treasures out of the Cloud Recesses right behind him.  

“I am attacking this very important cave,” Wen Xu clarified. “Of extreme importance to the Lan sect. So important, in fact, that it is clearly the correct target for an invasion.”

They stood around a while longer.

Someone cleared their throat. “Should we fight?”

“I can have my men beat you up if you really want,” Wen Xu said.

“…no thanks.”

“Then be quiet.”

There was a bit more standing around. Eventually Lan Qiren coughed.

“Would you like a chair or something?” Wen Xu asked, then frowned. “Never mind, I probably can’t justify that.”

“Probably not,” Lan Qiren agreed. He looked pained. Probably by the whole situation, but who knew, maybe he just had a bad back and the standing around was getting to him. “You will be taking Wangji hostage after this?”

“Along with most of the heirs of the Great Sects,” Wen Xu said. “As agreed, we’ll keep them out of the way.”

“Sometimes the most dangerous place is the safest place.”

“…yeah, that. Either way, they’ll be kept out of trouble.”

-

“This is not out of trouble!” Wei Wuxian shouted as they ran away from the Xuanwu.

“This stretch of river has never caused anyone any problems!” Wen Chao shouted back. “Ever! You’re the one who found the fucking cave!”

“Shut up and keep running!” Jiang Cheng howled.

-

“I really like your hair,” Wang Lingjiao told Madame Yu. “Also, that dress.”

Wen Chao sighed.

“Expensive tastes?” Wei Wuxian asked, pouring him some wine.

“You have no idea,” Wen Chao said glumly. “My allowance can’t cover it, so I ended up putting her as a line item in the military budget.”

“You did?” Jiang Cheng said. “Did your father, uh, object?”

“He’d have to notice.”

“I wonder how many other things he wouldn’t notice,” Wei Wuxian muttered to himself.

“You’re a young master of Yunmeng Jiang,” Jiang Cheng said, rolling his eyes. “What could you possibly want to fund that we won’t pay for?”

“I don’t know,” Wei Wuxian said. “Mad science experiments?”

-

“Can you pay him to stop?” Wen Xu asked. “I don’t even like flute music.”

“Shut up,” Wen Chao said. “You’ve been decapitated, remember?”

“Oh yeah, ‘decapitated’. And now I’m being force-fed lots of Qinghe barbeque,” Wen Xu said. “My life is really hard.”

“Why you…!”

Wen Xu sniggered. “How’s it going with Wen Zhuliu?”

“Fine, I think?” Wen Chao said. “He hasn’t actually noticed that the ‘demons’ we’re being hunted by aren’t really demons, but that’s because he’s been mostly drinking away his weird crush on our dad. I think Wen Ning is spiking his drink with something.”

They both turned to look at Wen Ning, who shrugged.

“Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person,” Wen Xu decided. “Are they attacking the Nightless City soon?”

“I think so.”

“What happens then?”

“Dunno.”

“Going to be kind of awkward when we ‘come back from the dead’ to take over.”

“I’m going to blame it on Wei Wuxian and his new weirdo cultivation,” Wen Chao decided. “We’re all sentient corpses he’s resurrected and using to puppet the Wen sect. Wen Ning, you in on this?”

“…sure,” Wen Ning said. “But only if I get first rights on ‘Ghost General’ as a nickname.”

“Oh, that’s a good one.”

-

“Thanks for the patricide,” Wen Xu said.

“Think nothing of it,” Nie Mingjue said. “Also, say nothing of it. Ever. In fact, let’s never talk again.”

“Can’t do that,” Wen Chao said. “Madame Yu told Jiaojiao that she got that fancy headpiece from Qinghe, so she wants to go there on a shopping trip.”

“Our economy could use the boost, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang said, and Nie Mingjue sighed. “It’s going to be a really big boost. Especially if she convinces Madame Jin from Lanling to come with her.”

“I still can’t believe they made friends,” Wei Wuxian marveled. “It must come from having more money than brains.”

“Brains aren’t exactly what I look for in a partner,” Wen Chao said. “Luckily for you, neither does your boyfriend.”

“Hey, I have brains!”

“You’re certainly intelligent,” Meng Yao – now named Jin Guangyao – told him.

“See?”

“That was an insult,” Nie Mingjue said.

“…hey!”

“When are you coming back to Qinghe?” Nie Huaisang asked Jin Guangyao, who blinked. “I mean, unless you want to spend all your time slaving away for a guy who thought Wen Ruohan was neat.”

“He’s right,” Wen Xu said. “Father or not, don’t do it. It’s not worth it. You’ll end up having to rebel and ask your worst enemies for help and it’s awkward.”

“I appreciate the offer,” Jin Guangyao said. “But I really can’t accept.”

“Why not?” Nie Huaisang asked.

Wen Chao pointed at him. “Seconded.”

Jin Guangyao grimaced at them both. Possibly it was meant to be a smile.

“You don’t have to go to the Unclean Realm, A-Yao,” Lan Xichen said.

“Thank you, er-ge.”

“You can come to the Cloud Recesses instead.”

“Er-ge…”

“Did anyone ever tell the Jin sect that we were working with the Wen heirs?” Nie Mingjue wondered out loud, and everyone frowned. “Because if they don’t know, and Jin Guangshan thinks he’s being subtle with the whole trying to hire Xue Yang thing, things are going to get really awkward.”

“…well, shit,” Jiang Cheng said. “I call not being the one to tell him.”

“Seconded!”

“Cloud Recesses, you said?” Jin Guangyao asked Lan Xichen, who looked pleased.

“I’m leaving,” Wen Xu decided. “I want nothing to do with this disaster. You all have fun now, I’m fucking off back to the Nightless City to live the rest of my life as a very rich man with no life goals.”

“I want to do that,” Nie Huaisang said.

“No,” Nie Mingjue said.

“But –”

“No.”

“Hey,” Wei Wuxian said. “Unrelatedly, anyone have any ideas on what should I do with the whole resentful energy seal thing now?”

“I don’t know,” Wen Chao said. “Play a giant game of keep away with it and then fake your own death?”