#maybe we are getting a new dead weather single??? maybe???

[timedontgiveashit]

x

[eldritch-spouse]

What happened with original Icons? You know, Asmodues, Mammoth, Satan, etc. Where are they? Are they dead? Are they ancestors of modern Icons?

(Your aimless questions attract the attention of a humble historian, who, maybe out of pity, or perhaps out of loneliness, sits beside you. His posture is mildly concerning.)

" I can tell from the names alone you're the Christian type, right? You must be. "

(He nods to himself.)

" Do me a huge favor. It grates on my nerves having to listen to these fables getting perpetuated for endless centuries -Even my old man wouldn't shut the fuck up about it, may Dorem be kind to him- Forget everything you heard about the sins and the originals. "

" It's all wrong. All of it. You wouldn't believe me if I told you how bastardized the history of this planet and its annexes has been. By your kind specifically. You erased history! It's miserable! You've been living your little lies for a shameful eternity... I guess I understand why. "

(There's a huff.)

" You couldn't even get their names right... "

" Of course they're dead! Do you even know the rulers of today's Perdition? Dead and burned to a crisp, their ashes too probably bathe the grounds of the Rings modern demons walk upon -Oh, the Fragmentation Wars were something truly spectacular- I wish I had been there myself sometimes. "

" Listen kid. Even we have difficulty putting it all back together, thanks to all this damage being constantly spread. I know demons who are more disconnected with their past than you- At least you know there's Icons out there! I've met some fucking skid marks that think 'Satan' is still bumbling around... "

" I'll tell you right now, three of 'em got nothing to do with the originals. Vorticia, Livius and Kalymir. "

(He tuns to face you better.)

" You know how Wrath is, right? Any nut can just have a go at the King, and if they win, they rule. Kalymir doesn't have a single royal bone to him. And that fucker's got a lot of bones... "

" Vorticia is an impeccable Queen, if you ask me. She's better than whatever the fresh fuck Gluttony could have got stuck with, but we're mostly positive she comes from adjacent families. Close to the court, y'know? "

" And Livius... It's a bit hard to tell with all the massacres in Envy's royal lineage, though you can probably safely bet that he was a cousin of the last prince. An ambitious cousin, eh? They say 'keep your friends close but your enemies closer'- I don't think it worked out that well for him. Keep Livius ten feet away from you at all times, those hands reach far. "

" Don't worry about any of that though. If you ask me, us history enthusiasts are going to have some bright days ahead, now that there's two whole highers settled on the surface. "

(A tail can be heard swatting beneath long, weathered robes.)

" Two of them, you hear me? You and I? We're going to bare witness to a new age! Aren't you excited?! "

" We're talking about THE Goddess Miara and the Plaguemaster -You don't even know who those are, you poor idiot, it's not your fault- And I just know they're in contact. I know it! "

(The demonoid coughs, scratchy voice cracking.)

" Anyway. We should talk more sometime. "

(You get the feeling he wants company really bad.)

[l-lenny]

Dumb Krum! … I love you too

Viktor Krum x Malfoy!Fem!reader, Fred Weasley x Malfoy!Fem!reader

Part 1/??

SERIES MASTERLIST

TW: cursing, mention of fighting parents

Malfoy reader, Durmstrang, no voldy au, fictional wizards names (side characters)

AN: this is longer then I expected but be prepared for next pt

——-

“No! This is final they will go-“ boomed masculine voice before being interrupted by high pitched yell. “LUCIUS!” The man in question was furious. “Narcissa don’t you dare-“ your mother started crying. “Luci, please let at least one be close to me.” She foolishly hoped that she could persuade her husband. If she convinces him once maybe she will twice. You were aware of the whole situation. They have been arguing about this whole education thing for months. You were soon to be turned 11 and your Hogwarts letter came two days ago. However your father wanted you to go to Durmstrang. It wasn’t that common to have girls attending, but it was not an oddity and single incident either. Doing your research you learned that only 2 girls would be attending while you will be at school and both of them were much older than you. You knew that your mother wanted both of you to attend Hogwarts, but father was dead set on Durmstrang. You heard footsteps behind you and when you turned around you saw your little brother. Teary eyed and with messy hair. He was 7 and much more softer than his big sister. “Why are mum and dad fighting?” He whispered, tears spilling. You hugged him. He didn’t have to hear all of this. The empty hallway not helpful for your words of encouragement “don’t worry I will fix it” your brother hugged you back and yawned. It was by far past his bed time. You took him back to his room and put him to sleep, singing a lullaby. After he was sound asleep you went back to the hallway to hear your parents still arguing. Narcissa was crying and Lucius was fuming. After taking deep breath you knocked on the door to father’s study. Your parents stopped their “talk” and opened the door angrily. “Didn’t you went to sleep?!” Your father said rather strictly. “I couldn’t sleep and by chance I heard you two, so if I may add my opinion to this: I would go to Durmstrang under one condition.”

And that’s how you ended up in the small castle on north. You were cold from the harsh weather and environment. When you arrived via floo power to your new school you have been greeted by cold stares. You did your research on how things are done around here so you practiced in front of mirror your speeches to every possible scenario. You straighten your shoulders and went straight to great hall, where many students were gathered. Students were sitting around round tables and were chatting. You immediately noticed that there have been almost no girls. You were expecting that, but it is still kinda disappointing. Principal Karkaroff took your attention. He spoke in heavy accent. “New students!” Trying to make an impression of strong and powerful man. Everyone was silent in that instance. “You shall train your hardest! You will be excelling in many ways and techniques. If not, you will be punished.” then he clapped his hands once and everyone started talking again. Was this your que to go and eat? You looked around. New attendees were as confused as you. Deciding to take action you marched to one of the tables full of students. One thing you reminded yourself was to stay strong. “Hey” you said as you sat down between two older boys. They could have been 16 or 17 if you could guess. “Oi! We have a brave one here! Sitting with your superiors” Said the one on your left. “Get lost twerp” said the one on your right showing his shoulder into yours. This might be just a test! You were feeling tired after long day and didn’t have patience for them. You took one breath before smiling at the boy “listen to me! I would highly suggest for you to shut your fucking mouth before I do it for you…permanently.” You shove him with your finger. “You are just a dumb loud mouth with no respect! And I don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour” you said lowly. “So shut up before I will shove my wand in your eye and your wand up your arse.” You grabbed plate and started eating. To be honest you were scared. Like scared so much you were almost shaking. Key word almost. “I like ya kid” he said after a while. His friends agreeing and started chatting with you.

His friends agreeing and started chatting with you. That was the best nerve-reliever. You heard from all of them that this is almost as a trial to see who is more suited for this school and for what group. You happened to chose the popular kids. After you took your first bite you noticed another kid across from you. He was same age as you. He looked at you and visible sparkle in his eyes. But not for long. Because the whole “trial thing” happened again. You just ate your meal, which was warm, still it looked disgusting but you were far too hungry to care. This was supposed to be some kind of shredded meat with mashed potatoes. After more chatting your stomach was full. That was when the boy on your left said “You two should head to dormitories and sleep” and when the young boy asked where to find them the older one replied with snarky “figure it out” you spun around. The only thing that popped in your mind was asserting dominance. You will not be showed around. “He asked you a question give him a proper answer.” You said. The tall boy towered above you. “And what are you gonna do about it? You don’t even know a single spell” you pull out your wand. It was pretty cherry wood with unicorn hair and ivy leaves. “Wanna bet ? I will avadakedavra your arse.” You pointed to him with your wand. “You are amazing kid!” He patted your head after a while. “Come with me.” He led you two in corridors and hallways pointing out every classroom and room. He was much nicer than before. “And here are the first years” he smirked. “Wasn’t so bad right?” You laughed. He patted your head again and took off. You looked at the young boy beside you. “Y/n, Y/n Malfoy” you outstretched your hand. The boy smirked “Viktor, Viktor Krum” he mimicked your introduction and shook your hand. The two of you made your way through the door to se a long hallway with many doors. On each door was a nameplate.

You found out that every room was shared. Two people in each one and one small shared bathroom. You prayed you got your room with a girl or alone. From the manor you were custom to having your own place and bathroom. And not going to lie it was big. But when you arrived at the end of the corridor and no other girl names were placed you were pleasantly surprised. You had your own room! The door beside yours read V. Krum and A. Landsprout. “Looks like we are neighbours!” you said to Viktor. “Oh! I vos not expecting a roommate” he said as he opened the door and found out his suitcase on one of the beds. You did the same. The only difference in your room: there was only one bed. You took a look around. A dresser on the right from the door, next to bed under a shelf. You stepped into the room further, taking in the pretty grey wallpaper. You looked at the table which was situated under a window opposite side of your bed. And in the end of the room there was a small bathroom. Decided to unpack you heard a soft knock on your door. “Come in” you said. You saw Viktor. “Can ve talk?” He asked. Straight forward, you liked that. “Sure” you smiled. Your smile brightened this dark place. “How did you know vot to do? You seemed so confident either. Almost like you have been here.” He sulked. You let out a laugh. Viktor felt embarrassment creeping to his cheeks. “I was shaking in my boots. Before I came here I practically rehearsed every single conversation and scenario I could think of. I also read a lot about the school and its traditions.” Viktor looked at you again. “So you practiced?” You nodded. “My parents vonted me to be more confident, to be someone …like you were today so they sent me here. And it’s also a tradition.“ he opened up. In whole 11years he never opened up that quickly to someone. “So do you think you could help me?”

You two become best friends in no time. Supporting each other in trouble, when you had hard time or even tutor each other. Sometimes the education process was hard and you cried to Viktors chest while he awkwardly patted your back. But you were doing this for your little brother, you reminded yourself. And you had Viktor and your older friends to support you. But Viktor was here for you as you were here for him every step of the way. The teaching style in Durmstrang was harsh. Often disciplined students by whipping spell or crucio. You were glad that you and your friends were rather smart, so you don’t have to see them in pain. You have to remind yourself time and time again that you are doing this for Draco. He would broke in your place.

One afternoon in December, right after class with your potions professor you catch up with Viktor. “Do you understand the formula?” You asked. “Oh yeah.” He chuckled. You pout and looked at him with puppy eyes. “Can you help me please?” You begged. “You know ve are not supposed to do that” Viktor was amused. You were excellent at charms but terrible at potions. Non the less he would help you, just like you would help him with charms and transfiguration. In most cases it was just his accent troubling him. You two met in your room and went over and over the formula. You were super worried about not doing it right. Although Viktor was excellent tutor he failed to teach you this. And in your next lesson with professor Grimdale you managed to mess up the potion. “Miss Malfoy! Care to remind me what was the correct formula?” You tried to remember, but due to your nerves acting up you simply couldn’t. Was this your first punishment? Right before Christmas? Oh no! “You are talentless! Hopeless potion maker!” He yelled. You were expecting to be strike with cruciatus spell, after all some other students were disciplined like that. Instead of the crucio came whipping. One whip strike for each of your hands, for making a mistake. You shut your eyes in pain trying so hard not to make a sound. Most of your classmates were punished more if they made a sound. You stood there bravely. “Remember correctly next time!” Professor said and continued the lesson. You were shaken and teary eyed. But you had reputation! Get it together Y/n! You can’t cry.

Few days after this incident you found yourself hugging your pillow and crying. Re-reading the letter your father sent. You were his favourite after deciding to go to Durmstrang, he praised you in his last letters how well you do in school. But this time. This time it was a strictly shaming letter.

“Daughter,

I am very disappointed in last letter I got from your potion professor! How can you mess simple potion? You are slacking. Focus on your studies. When you will go home for Christmas I will hire a tutor so you would not slack off! Don’t disappoint me more child!

Father”

Every ounce of stress putted on you came flowing out in the large tears you cried that night. Viktor, nor your friends knew about this. You were feeling lost for a moment. But soon you slept off most of the negative feelings.

Soon after the holidays came around and you were going back to manor. Floo powder in hand you said your last goodbye to your boys and with “Malfoy manor” you disappeared in green fire. When you came to your living room you looked at the dark place. Your coat reminding you about the change of scenery. After taking it off with another hundred layers of clothing you heard footsteps. “Y/n?” You saw Draco coming towards you and then he ran, body slammed straight into you. “Hey!” Quickly you greeted each other and then you went to find your parents. Staying at home over the holidays was harsh to say at least. Mother was still mad at you for going to school so far away. Father lectured you on basic and advanced things. Overworking you every day. And Draco? You noticed that he started to change. He was more spoiled in your eyes. The only thing that was making your stay bearable was letters from your boys. You started to feel like an outsider in your home. To be honest you were happy to go back to the Durmstrang institute again. There you have your best friend and group of friends. Your time at home was slowly coming to an end and your excitement grew. Finally the day came and you went back to school. You were ambitious witch. Trying to be top in every class. After your father’s lectures you aimed to be the best just to not go through them again. Getting good grades and being respected by many was on your agenda as well. By the end of the year you made your name shine very bright and be one of the more popular students. You had your friend group around to hang out with and some admirers to scare or prank. None the less eaven if the school was hard you liked it there. And as time passed by you were saying goodbye to your friends at the end of your first year. “Bye Vik!” You smiled. “Bye Artie! Bye Archie!” You waved and with a promise to go to visit each other you floo back to manor.

Spending summer with your friends was great! Your father actually liked the guys you hanged out with. Well what was there not to like. They were all pure-blooded and strong. One or two times he actually asked if you and Viktor are dating. You dismissed that and explained that you two are just friends. The most fun you had at Archie’s! His mother was strict, but very kind to you. She wanted a daughter, yet never had one. You won the lottery there. Archie was kinda butthurt about it at first but it became an inside joke. You went to trip with the guys. It was fun! Draco was disappointed that you were most of the time gone and actually started ignoring you. It still hurts but what can you do. Forcing someone to like you is pointless. After that summer your family kinda fell apart.

Near the end of the summer holidays you went to your father’s study, letter from Durmstrang in hand. You knocked on the door and waited. Lucius permitted for you to come in and you read the letter to him. “There is a letter from school! I need few new books for dark arts and charms. Can we get them later? If you have time of course” your father nodded and dismissed you. In the afternoon of the next day Lucius got home early from work to pick you up and to go shopping in Diagon alley. You also wanted to get a custom case on your broom. Your hands got always cold when you were flying. You brought nice knitted case around the holder and it was so nice and warm. After that you were headed to get books you needed. Your father was heading to look at some other stuff and left you some money. “Wait for me in front of the shop.” He instructed and left. You nodded and looked for the books. You got one and looked for the other. After a while you spotted the book you needed and got on your tippy toes to get it, but you were too short. “Need any help shortie?” Said someone behind you and grabbed your book handing it to you. You grabbed the book. Looking at mop of red hair. “For your information I am not short, the shelf is just too high.” The red head chuckled. “Sure, are you going to Hogwarts too?” You looked at the book you were holding and shook your head. “I am studying at Durmstrang!” You smiled. The boy before you looked completely shocked. Platinum hair, perfect posture and student of Durmstrang. He heard of you. His father actually talked about you with his mother. You were the oldest daughter of the Malfoys. Fred remembers the conversation clearly.

“How was your day?” Asked his mom. He and his twin brother by the stairs waiting to snatch some cookies. “Malfoy came today flourishing about his oldest daughter. What is her name again?” Molly chuckled “Y/n?” Arthur nods “yes and he wouldn’t shut up about the Durmstrang. Honestly it was tiring.” He says and Molly laughs.

“Anyway thank you for the-“ before Y/n even has time to properly thank him she heard the door of the shop spun open. And in storms your father. “Y/n-“ he turned towards you. Then his gaze was on the older Weasley twin. “Weasley? I believe you are in the way. My daughter is trying to buy some books. Not that you could.” He placed his cane on the redhead’s shoulder. “Father! He is not-“you started only to be interrupted. “Fred! Oh good afternoon Lucius.” Said another voice. You looked up to see older gentleman. Presumably father of the redheaded boy. “Afternoon Arthur” said your father. “Shopping for school I presume” Lucius smirked and looked at the older, second hand, books Arthur was holding “At least some of us can afford brand new books” Said your father taking you by the shoulders “do you have everything?” You nodded. “Then we shall part ways, see you at work.” Said your father harshly while tugging you towards cashier. You looked back to see the redhead boy and waved with sweet yet awkward smile. After you left and went home your father gave you a hard lesson. “Don’t associate yourself with wrong people. The whole family of Weasleys are blood traitors.” You looked confused. Father never had any issues with people you talked to. Was this really something that was so inappropriate? You paid no mind to it happy to have your books and ready to pack to Durmstrang.

On the other hand Freds interest was peaked. He was just being nice. Still a little confused you were a Malfoy he remembered your smile.

“Vik!” You greeted your friend lightly punching him on the shoulder. He did the same. “Hov vas the rest of your vacation?” He asked. You beamed. Seriously you were the only person in the entire Durmstrang institute to be happy and smily here. “It was fine, I am just happy to be back at school!” Viktor shook his head. “Comrades!” Cheered loud voice of Arthur. “Artie!” You high-fived him and you all went to you table. You looked at the first years and thought of your first time here. There were significantly less students this year. “Guys, do you have any ideas where Archie is?” You asked just to be interrupted by the principal. “Archie is still on vaccination in Russia” whispered Artie. You pretend to be shocked and listen to principal. The whole deal as last year was heard. You were honestly just eager to eat. “Yes!” You muttered and grabbed a plate full of food. Today was the Bulgarian speciality. You simply loved this food and Vik shared your opinion. You chatted and looked around to see none of the new students went here. The lessons, duels and flights on brooms made time pass by quickly. Vik was very good at flying lessons. You often joked to get the first autograph after he will become famous quidditch player. Everything was just right.

You saw Viktor grew in to the young gentleman. He also saw you matured into skilled and talented witch. You made yourself known for being perfect. From the way you looked to the way you acted. Perfect scores in your classes, great skills, powerful friends and nice looks. The pride of your year, truly. When you were at school you enjoyed every second of each day, if you didn’t have professor Grimdale that is. But none the less life at school was perfect. The cold place was very warm and welcoming if you had the right mindset and friend group. At home it wasn’t so great. You saw as your younger brother just grew more spoiled the longer you were gone. When Draco attended Hogwarts he was sorted into slytherin. As expected. He wrote to you from time to time. But it was bland, mostly out of the formality. You wrote back just to be polite and slowly started to part your ways. Your father was writing you every month after receiving monthly report card giving you his word of encouragement. Your mother was writing from time to time too. Mostly the how are yous and be careful. You never knew what happened. Your family just stopped working at some point. You shared most of your troubles with Viktor. And he was so understanding. You actually admired him very much. He had aspiring career ahead after the Bulgarian National Quidditch team saw him play. Viktor often played with them in preparation for the World Cup.

Sitting in your room, you in your chair, Vik on your bed you tutored him in transfiguration. “Yes you did it!” You said excitedly. Viktor nodded proudly. “Vith this I could pass to the delegation!” He said. You laughed“stop calling it delegation!” The boy in front of you just shrugged. “The triwizard tournament trip or vhat ever.” You stood up slapping his shoulder. “I hope I will make it there!” Viktor looked at you confused. “You are one of the most skilled vitches!” Hearing him say that was different then what other said this.

[slippinmickeys]

Three Part Harmony (21/24)

“Is anyone dead back there?” Mulder asked quietly, his blood a thrumming brew of adrenaline and cortisol.

“No,” Scully said, her voice equally low.

Rhonda remained silent, her eyes fixed ahead, and she gripped the steering wheel in white-knuckled tension. The snow was coming down in thick sheets, curling into the windshield with magnetic purpose.

“Their cars aren’t going anywhere and I disabled their radios, but I think we probably have less than half an hour before there’s a statewide APB on all four of us and this vehicle,” Scully said from the back seat.

As Mulder let his breathing start to regulate, he was struggling to know how to feel. Relief and awe and wonder were battling it out, but anger was slowly overtaking his higher functions.

“I told you to stay away,” he said, unable to turn in the cramped little car enough to look at her. It would have been easier to unleash his fury if he could look her in the eye, but he did his level best anyway. “I told Skinner to keep you as far from me as possible! And now-“

“And now we’re in the same situation we were in before,” Scully fired back. “But you’re with us. I need you with us.”

Mulder could hear a slight wobble in her voice and he took a breath, trying to calm himself.

“It’s not the same situation, Scully,” he said, slightly more level headed, but still upset. “You’ve made a criminal out an innocent woman, and-”

“I made a criminal out of myself,” Rhonda finally spoke. “The second I offered you help and refuge. I’m a big girl, and I knew what I was getting myself into. Now if you don’t mind, I’d rather you not argue in my car while I’m playing the old Montana favorite Am I Still On The Road.”

Slightly chagrined, Mulder leaned back and looked ahead. It was nothing but a mass of whiteness. He could not tell either if they were driving on a road or in the middle of a field. There was nothing to see but snow.

“Good,” Rhonda said, eyes never leaving the windshield. “Now thank your wife and son for saving your sorry ass.”

Mulder didn’t correct her, but turned as best he could and reached into the back seat as far as his shackles would allow him. Scully reached forward and gripped his hand hard.

“How’s he doing?” Mulder asked.

Instead of looking at their son, Scully closed her eyes then smiled.

“He’s doing good,” she said. “He’s happy you’re back.”

“Dadadadada!” William shouted, and Mulder teared up, wishing he could pick the boy up and hold him close.

Rhonda and Scully merely chuckled.

“He’s got a few new tricks,” Rhonda said.

“Oh yeah?” said Mulder, reluctantly pulling his hand back from Scully’s to wipe at his eyes.

“Hi!” William squeaked.

Mulder felt the first smile he’d worn in days creep up his face. It fell when he turned to look out the front of the car.

“We’re going to need to get out of this storm,” he said.

“There’s a town in about ten miles. We can get gas, something to eat. Maybe the weather will let up.”

“I think the weather’s the only thing helping us right now.”

“This ensemble certainly isn’t,” Rhonda said, jerking her thumb at him.

“You don’t like my outfit?”

“It’s a touch provocative. Most men in these parts wear a little less jewelry.”

At that, the cuffs and ankle shackles all simultaneously released, falling from Mulder’s limbs in a slither of tinkling metal. He startled and braced his suddenly free hands against the dashboard.

Rhonda pulled her eyes from the road for a moment to look directly at him.

“Scully’s got a few new tricks, too,” she said, and refocused back on the road.

XxX

Rhonda pulled up directly in front of the unisex bathroom door at the gas station, which was blessedly around the side of the building, rather than through the store at the back. Scully had handed Mulder a bundle of clothes and a pair of boots and he’d slid out of the car and into the bathroom without anyone witnessing him doing so.

It was relatively clean, thankfully, heater blowing full force from the ceiling, with a single toilet in the corner, a sink, paper towel dispenser and Koala Kare unit in the wall.

He was redressed, holding onto the orange prison jumpsuit, trying to figure out where he should dispose of it when there was a sharp rap at the door. His heart rate spiked, but Scully’s voice came a moment later on another ratatat of knocking.

“Mulder, open up. Let us in.”

He unlocked the door and threw it open only for Scully to push immediately inside, holding William out in front of her like a sacrifice, the bloom of a brown stain blossoming halfway up his back.

“Oh shit,” Mulder said, drawing a look from Scully.

“You noticed,” she said and stared at him until he roused himself into action and pulled down the changing station shelf.

Scully laid down the small blanket she had slung over her arm and plopped William down on it unceremoniously.

“Can you get him undressed?” she asked, swinging a bag off her shoulder. She began digging through it, setting several things down on the table near William’s head; a pack of baby wipes, a clean diaper.

“Mulder,” she said, looking up at him.

“Right!”

Mulder leapt into action, unzipping the felted footy pajamas the baby was dressed in and peeling them off. What he found underneath was a crime scene. Smelled like one, too.

He swore.

William seemed delighted, clapping and babbling and making himself a generally wiggly nuisance while Mulder tried to get the soiled diaper off of him. Finally, one hand full of the utterly destroyed pajamas and the other holding the biohazard of a diaper, Mulder looked at Scully somewhat desperately.

“Can you take over?”

She nodded with a look he thought might have been a smirk and stepped in, wiping and cleaning their son with far more efficiency and composure.

Mulder took the opportunity to shove the prison jumpsuit into the trash can and placed the filthy footies and diaper directly on top, pulling the whole of the bag lining the can to take with them. He wouldn’t put it past Bryson to dumpster dive through excrement for a chance to get at William.

When he turned back to them after washing his hands, Scully was holding out his son to him, clean and fresh-smelling and smiling, and Mulder took him into his arms with such a rush of relief and longing that it felt like his heart might drop out of his chest.

XxXxXxXxXxX

When the little family was settled back into the car, Rhonda turned to them, feeling uneasy, but resolute.

“You’ve been doing this longer than I have,” she said. “Being on the run. What do we do?”

Mulder turned to look out the windshield. The snow had let up, and hadn’t accumulated as much as it might have without the wind. There were drifts that were a couple feet high, but bare spots on the ground, and the roads had mainly been blown clear.

“We need to stay off major highways,” he said. “Find somewhere to hunker down.”

Scully sighed. “That’s easier said than done with a baby in tow.”

“Yes,” Mulder admitted. “But Rhonda’s cabin is out and we’ll need to hide the car. Bryson’s seen it, and her. Couple of hotel rooms would be great, but I don’t think we can risk it. We need somewhere with plumbing. Heat. Supplies.” He turned to Rhonda. “I’m sorry this is happening to you. I’m sorry we ever set foot in your diner. That your lot has been thrown in with ours.”

“I’m not,” Rhonda said, finding herself truly meaning it. “You’ve given me a purpose. For the first time in my life, I feel like I’m doing something that helps. That matters.” The resolve with which she said the words shored up her bones, made her sit up taller. For the first time in her life, she felt a fire burning in her belly.

“I’m with you,” she said. “And we’re in slightly better shape than you think.”

When Mulder looked at her curiously, Scully piped up from the back seat. “The trunk is full of everything we might need,” she said. When Mulder turned to look at her, Scully shrugged. “Didn’t want to get stuck again.”

Rhonda considered the other things Mulder had said, the wheels turning in her head. Finally, she looked at them both.

“We need a few extra gallons of gas, just in case,” she said. “But I know where we can go.”

XxX

The sign by the road was studded with snow, but you could still make out the name it boasted, ‘Camp Waawaate’ with the old picture of a canoe, ‘established 1938.’

“It’s a summer camp,” Rhonda explained as she pulled to a stop in front of the gate, looking at the sign fondly. “I went here as a kid. Worked here for a while, too.” Some of the best times of her life had been spent here, swimming in the mountain lake, singing songs in the cafeteria and by a campfire. It certainly looked different in the snow. “It’s miles and miles from anything resembling civilization and closed up tight for winter. You can’t see anything from the road. We should be safe here.”

She sighed, remembering the good times, and threw the car in park. She turned to look at Scully. “The gate’ll be locked. I could use your help.”

Scully avoided looking at Mulder and nodded, unbuckling her seatbelt. Mulder had to get out to let her out of the backseat of the hatchback, but wandered behind her curiously and watched as she walked up to the swinging gate, peered at it for a moment. The padlock seemed to unlatch of its own accord. Mulder looked at her as though she’d employed a Jedi Mind Trick to unlock it.

Scully shot Mulder a self-conscious look and then he offered to stay outside the car and lock the gate shut behind them. She swung back into the backseat next to her son as Rhonda popped the old car back into gear.

“Gonna be a bit of an awkward conversation explaining all that, huh?” she asked the younger woman.

“We’ve had awkward conversations before,” Scully said, looking out the window. “I’m just…”

Rhonda could read beyond the ellipses of her abandoned comment. The woman was so glad to have her lover back beside her that the words to describe her relief wouldn’t come. Rhonda smiled kindly at her as she pressed the accelerator to nudge the car through the gateway of the camp. It was humbling to be a part of a love story like theirs. They were not the first to love as deeply as they did, Rhonda knew, nor were they the most tragic, but something about their romance felt like a storybook, like an author was writing them with a pen and was as yet not sure how the story would end.

Rhonda could only hope it would be happy.

Mulder swung the gate shut behind them, re-securing the padlock, and jumped back in the car, rubbing his hands together to warm them up.

“This place going to have power?” he asked, blowing into cold fists. “Is it going to have heat?”

The drifts across the drive were bigger here than they had been on the road, and Rhonda had to build up some momentum to get through them.

“Power up here is unreliable,” she said, concentrating on driving the serpentine, tree-lined two-track. “They have generators.”

“And heat?” Mulder asked again.

“It’s a summer camp, but it’s in the mountains. Each of the cabins has a fireplace. As does the main lodge and cafeteria. Should keep us warm enough.”

Mulder nodded from beside her. Beggars and choosers and all that, thought Rhonda.

Through an aspen grove and into the scrubby cedar swamp by the lake they drove, until the driveway widened out as they hit the main campus. To their right was a small hut on the lake that Rhonda knew housed paddles and life jackets, canoes pulled up high along the shore, clumped together upside down like fallen soldiers after a battle. To the left was a rectangle of pavement with a basketball hoop on one side, the other stretching out into low wooden bleachers that surrounded an enormous fire pit.

Beyond the court, up the small rise of a hill, perched an enormous timber frame lodge that overlooked the lake, which sat gray and wind-dimpled, uninviting and cold.

“We can start at the lodge,” Rhonda said, pointing to the main building. “It has an enormous fireplace and a genny that runs the kitchen equipment.”

“Think we can get it going?”Mulder asked.

Rhonda knew there was an enormous oil drum by the maintenance building that was full of the gas that kept the generator running all summer, but she wasn’t certain how often they topped it off as autumn approached, and pointed to one of the gas cans at Mulder’s feet.

“Shouldn’t be a problem,” she said.

“Are there places to sleep in the lodge?” Scully asked.

“Just kitchens and the cafeteria, a couple of small administrative offices,” Rhonda said, shaking her head. She pulled up to the back of the large building and killed the engine.

“Beyond the lodge are the campers cabins,” she went on, explaining the camp’s layout. “Boys to the east and girls to the west. Genny powered bathrooms at the end of each. The cabins have fireplaces and are small and retain heat pretty well. Beds a-plenty. I can get the generator up and running at the lodge and one of the bathrooms. There’s an enormous firewood cache behind the building if you want to get started there.”

Mulder nodded at her.

“Pick a cabin, any cabin,” Rhonda said, unbuckling her seatbelt. “And if you’d like some privacy, you can put me in the next one down.”

XxXxXxXxXxX

The inside of the lodge was all exposed beams and wood accents, built at a time when the trees grew bigger. The main room was wide and expansive, with a high ceiling that ended in a peak and huge fireplace faced with raw granite, the masonry old but sturdy. The tables that filled the space in the summer had been pushed to the sides of the hall, and the chairs stacked neatly next to them. An old piano sat in the corner next to an empty plastic Lost & Found bin. On the walls were pictures of campers from decades worth of summers; swimming, canoeing, arms around each other at a fire, one or two gap-toothed archers holding up the rare bullseye. Scully could hear it the moment Rhonda got the big generator going. There were big bay windows that faced the lake letting in the gray light of the day, but Scully flicked on the lights anyway, flooding the dusty space with yellow light.

William had fallen asleep in his car seat, and Mulder set him gently down.

“I think she said the firewood is around back?” Mulder said, pointing at a side door near the fireplace.

Scully nodded and drifted over to the door.

The entire camp had been secured tightly for winter, but locks were no longer really a problem. All Scully had to do was connect with William–something she could now do even when he was asleep–picture the pins and tumblers inside the mechanism, and think them into place. It was a handy gift, though one that would produce some parenting challenges as William got older should the boy figure out how to do it himself. Should they manage to get out of this alive.

She opened the door, and Mulder followed her out into the cold.

Rhonda had been right; all along the side of the building were shoulder-high stacks of seasoned firewood three or four sections deep. More than enough to keep them warm for however long they needed to hide out here.

“What do you think?” Mulder said, coming up alongside her. She could feel the warmth emanating from his body, but had only really touched him in the car when he’d reached out for her. She wanted nothing more than to throw herself at him in relief, to wrap her arms around his solid middle and tuck her head under his chin. To have him tell her that it would all be all right, that she had done the right thing. But they had things to do, and needed to be getting along doing them.

“Get a fire going in the lodge and then pick out a couple of cabins?” he went on.

Scully thought of William sleeping in the big cold room behind them.

“Yes,” she said. “Bring in as much as you can and I’ll get a fire going.”

Figuring out how to open the flue to the enormous fireplace was the biggest challenge, but once she’d maneuvered it open, it wasn’t long before they had a roaring fire going.

Rhonda walked in just as Mulder was stacking the last of a half-cord of wood next to the hearth. She looked down fondly at William.

“I’ll stay with him and get the supplies brought in from the car,” she offered. “If you two want to figure out where we’ll all sleep?”

Scully nodded at her gratefully. Mulder came up behind her then and put a heavy hand on her shoulder, which sparked such a flood of feeling within her that William–still connected to her–shifted in his sleep. Scully watched as the older woman knelt down and tucked the edge of the blanket more firmly around the child. Rhonda then looked up and gave them a small smile.

“Take your time,” she said quietly, and Scully could have wept.

XxXxXxXxXxX

There was a way they looked at each other, a way they locked eyes, that was unlike anything Rhonda had witnessed before. It felt, at times, a little bit like a blessing to witness, and a little bit like a curse. She thought of the romance novels she liked to read so much, of the inevitable pull the main characters felt for each other, the way they would stop at nothing to be together. How odd to see the real thing.

Rhonda wondered what it was about them that invited such suffering, such bliss. What was it about them that made even God turn away?

Mulder took Scully’s hand as they walked out of the lodge, both sparing one last look at their son. Rhonda would give them time together, whatever peace she could for as long as they needed. There was a reverence between them that needed to be honored, a fire that was in want of rekindling.

Rhonda could still see the camp cabins in her mind's eye, unchanged since her childhood. She closed her eyes and looked down on them as if from above, saw Mulder and Scully, those poor tragic lovers. She wanted to heal them or at the very least give them an opportunity to heal themselves. Under the fleece of evergreens, they would step into the small cabin and embrace. Rhonda envied them their reconnection. Envied them their love. She wanted nothing more than to foster it, to take them up like plastic dolls, lift them out and press them tightly together with the palms of both her hands.

[holylulusworld]

Weather goddess - Kinktober 28

Summary: You’re his soulmate. His fate. His weather goddess.

Pairing: Thor Odinson x fem!Reader (X-Men) 

Kink: Hyperspermia & Cum fetish

Square G2 filled for @mcukinkbingo​: Soulmate AU

Square 7 filled for @ultimatechrisbingo​: “Tonight we get to be our own gods.”

Warnings: grumpy Wolverine, love-struck Thor, light smut, unprotected sex, hyperspermia, light cum fetish

Words: 1,1 k

A/N: Reader has the same powers Storm has. I imagine her being Storm’s younger half-sister.

Kinktober 2022

Ultimate Chris Bingo masterlist 

2022 MARVEL KINK BINGO masterlist

Thor is a dead man. He just doesn’t know it yet.

Wolverine watches the tall blonde, while the Asgardian is watching you again, eyes glued to you, and your body.

He admires the way you carry yourself. A deep desire burns in his chest anytime his eyes land on you.

“Strong and powerful, yet so beautiful and soft,” he whispers as you raise your hand to the sky, just like your sister taught you years ago. You call for Mother Nature and ask her to lend you her strength once again.

“A little more rain would be good, please,” you respect nature and the universe. You ask for help and show your gratitude in return. “The people are suffering from the heat. Plants and trees will die. Let it rain.”

“My goddess, let me help you,” Thor raises his hammer, and chants his own prayers, so different from the one you said. “All-father, give me strength.”

Lightning illuminates the sky, and thunder rumbles in the distance. It’s rather a spectacle, like fireworks.

The Asgardian god proudly puffs his chest as the first droplets of rain hit your face.

“That’s not how we do this, Thor,” he sighs deeply when you scold him. “Your way to change the weather is not my way. I ask for help. You just use your strength…”

“Y/N, my goddess,” Thor drops his arm and shakes his head. “I’m sorry. My intentions were pure. I’m the god of thunder and wanted to help you with the rain.”

“It’s,” it starts to rain a little harder. “Thank you, Thor. Next time, leave manipulating the weather to my sister. She doesn’t like it when you mess with nature,” you throw Storm an angry look. “Don’t give me that look. He tried to help.”

“He tried something different,” Wolverine mutters under his breath. “Ororo, you should tell him to fuck off. What is that guy even doing here?”

“Logan,” your sister hisses. “Thor and Captain Rogers came here for collaboration. We don’t want to hear about a war going on in the news again. The professor wants us to work with them.”

“This doesn’t mean I will let him put his hands on your sister. She’s family to me too,” Ororo needs to put her hand on Logan’s shoulder to keep him from attacking Thor.

“Just leave him be, Logan. He’s not one of the bad guys.”

“I haven’t decided yet. Maybe he’s the same as that guy with his bike she dated for three months.”

“Logan, she didn’t date that guy. She wanted to buy his bike for you. Y/N sees the big brother in you she never had. A grumpy and annoying one.”

“I’ll rip that so-called god a new one if he dares to put his hands on our little girl,” crossing his arms over his chest Logan watches you and Thor with angry eyes. 

“Lady Ororo, Lord Wolverine,” Thor walks toward your sister and the angry looking mutant. “May I ask your sister to go out with me tonight? I want to show her more of my powers.”

“No-“ Logan growls. “You’ll not go out with her.”

“What Logan wanted to say is,” your sister softly says. She places her hand on Logan’s shoulder once again to stop him from ripping Thor apart, “you should ask Y/N if she wants to go out with you. Not us.”

Thor smiles from ear to ear, already forming the words to ask you out in his mind. “Lady Y/N,” he hurriedly walks toward you, “would you give me the honor to go out with me?”

“Your beauty even puts the stars to shame. Nothing can compare to you, and your grace. You’re a weather goddess, Y/N,” Thor swoons.

He points at the stars, sighing deeply as you didn’t say a single word since you left the restaurant.

You decided to go for a walk after you had dinner. Which lead you into the park close to the mansion.

“A weather goddess,” you hold back a chuckle. Thor hopefully looks down at you, blue eyes sparkling as you grasp for his hand. “Do you want to see what I can do, oh God of thunder?”

Thor cocks his head as you step away from him. You lift one hand and flash your eyes white. “Watch me, Thor.”

You draw power from the Earth's electromagnetic field to create winds supporting your weight. You chuckle as his eyes sparkle the moment you float above him.

“A goddess indeed,” he raises his hammer, and calls his own gods to give him the strength to take what he wants. “My weather goddess.”

“Yours?” you chuckle loudly. “Come and get me if you are brave enough, God of thunder.”

“You are going to be mine, Y/N,” Thor spins his hammer incredibly fast and hurls it into the air. His hammer pulls him into flight using the strap attached to Mjolnir's handle. “I’ll catch you, my goddess.”

“Catch me if you can…”

“Tonight, we get to be our own gods,” he chuckles loudly. “You are going to be mine, my weather goddess…”

It didn’t take Thor long to convince you to stop flying off. He lured you in, with promises of love beyond your imagination. The god talked about soulmates, and their fate to share their lives.

“Thor,” you whimper with every harsh thrust. “Harder. Ruin me, my god.“

He didn’t lie. The moment your feet touched the ground again, you found yourself in his arms. Lips, hands, and oh, his perfect cock claimed your body. 

Sucking, biting, touching, and teasing until you gave in, and promised your body and soul to the God of thunder.

“My goddess,” he purrs in your ear as lightning illuminates the nightsky. This time it’s the only light cutting through the darkness of the night. “You’re mine.”

You wrap your legs a little tighter around his waistline and try to match the rhythm his hips set. It’s a struggle to keep up with his strength and speed.

Thor truly is a god. “My god of thunder,” you run your hands over his muscular arms, gripping him tightly as his cock hits the right spot, making little fireworks burst behind your eyes. “Oh my god…Thor.”

Your walls clench tightly around his twitching length, milk him dry for all that he’s worth.

“Fuck, what?” he stills his hips, groaning deeply in your ear as he cums. “Thor, I-that’s a lot.” It feels like an endless stream of his seed fills your womb. “Shit, that’s really a lot.” 

Thor digs the tips of his fingers into the ground underneath you, scraping his blunt nails over the ground. He shudders through his orgasm, still filling you with more of his cum. “I-I always cum so much,” he shyly admits.

“That’s so fucking much,” you look down at your body. “I bet you could drown my whole body in your cum. Maybe I could bathe in it one day.”

“My love,” he claims your lips in a heated kiss. “You’re a naughty goddess.”

“Oh, Thor,” chuckling you look up at the blonde god you seduced, “you have no idea...”

Tags in reblog.

[akitoscorpio]

Dead of winter Pt 10

"EIC Log entry 2, Commissar Bogdan recording the log."

"The boss said he needed what amounted to a 'head of security role' around the base. I guess because I was the one that he trusted the most, not to mention the only that still had all his bits functional, I got the job."

"I had a couple requests though. The main one being he needed to take the Dominion's offer to make him part of their nobility seriously. He finally caved and we started to make him a throne room. I guess it doesn't look great when they have to give you a title in the entryway of the base next to the Paste grinders."

"I wonder if he climbs that ladder enough we can get some proper food around here?"

"Now I had a few idea's how to really impress the Dominion when it came time for them to show up and promote the boss. I had us set up an external mine shaft so we can exploit some of the deeply buried resources under our base to try and muster up something special to doll up the new room."

"It turned out we were parked on top of a deep vein of Eltex, that fancy ore that's used in creating clothes and weapons to make Psycasters a but more potent. The empire loved the stuff."

"Now my original idea was to plate the walls with the stuff, or maybe add some pillars to the place, but the boss said it seems like a waste of a rare resource"

"The guy is a corpo big wig but he anit fixing to bling his throne room out? I asked him for alternatives and he just said 'Why now use some of that gold we had in storage. We found a decent supply of it we anit using it for anything'".

"Of course it wouldn't be a Rimworld if shit didn't go tits up at the drop of a hat, we had a toxic rain storm hit the area."

"The whole outside area took on this sickly green glow, it was even setting of the radiation alarms, The boss said the base would shield us from it, as long as we stayed put till it was safe to travel outside again."

"Oh and this happened as well, Tapia commented that god was clearly pissed off at something to be stacking this much crap on us at once."

"So not only was the snow now trying to kill us, but random lightning bolts of Psychic energy was striking down around the base."

"Axl of course, in that very Axl kind of way was picking our brains, asking what we all knew about the storms. He has a one track mind, wanting to get to the bottom of every single thing that happens around here. Of course as Katie put it 'Were not the damn weathermen Axl, we don't know.'"

"On a positive note, our two not quite former federation raiders must have decided since they were not part of the Federation hold outs any more, it was okay to start hooking up. I didn't mind to much but I'm not sure how the boss would feel about having babies around the base."

"While this was happening, we were starting to see lighting hit the base near the base at least three to five times an hour"

"If one of them hit the solar panels, we'd have to go out and fix them and I wasn't to keen on that idea."

"I say that and then a lightning bolt blew a hole in the barracks."

"Fun fact, the lightning flashes caused the solar pannels to spike in power output for a second, so maybe the lightning had a bit of a perk to it"

"Katie and Lips dug up some armor designs they had seen bounced around their old stomping grounds, and we managed to recreate the armor. It protected us better than the hodge-podge of scavenged armor and clothes we all had before. It was also far better suited to the weather as well, which was nice."

"We all felt pretty good about it all things considered."

"Well I'd reckon that'll be enough to make the boss man happy, I'm going to snore some angel Grace and get some shut eye now, this is Commissar Bog, end of log."

[rhaegxr]

𝐎𝐎𝐂; 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧

    Because I did this post a while ago, I want to elaborate a little on my interpretation of themes that I believe have to do with Rhaegar. Or at least, are important parts, even if he himself is probably not aware of it. This is a long post because I have to explain the background information before actually describing my take on how it fits/affects my take on Rhaegar. This is a headcanon/not so headcanon/theory concerning Bloodmagic and Rhaegar’s birth.

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐒 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂? In the ASOIAF, magic does exist, some more obvious than others, but the one most feared ( with good reason ) and considered to be the darkest, is bloodmagic. The name we can safely assume comes from the need of blood to perform a spell. It’s the use of blood that makes it both dangerous and the most powerful form of magic. There’s always an association with Valyrians being main/biggest practitioners of bloodmagic, and although this is true and canon, they were not the only nor the first ones. Blood magic has existed for millennia, all the way back to the Great Empire of the Dawn, from where some of the Valyrian origin rumors are ( Valyrians and others --Hightowers and Daynes--, which I am quite certain to be so ). The biggest and most powerful blood spell we get is in the Bloodstone Emperor killing his sister, the Amethyst Empress; which ushered the Long Night ( this is theorized to be just one version of the Azor Ahai and Nissa Nissa story, which is also bloodmagic ). Another example we see of powerful blood magic is with the Children of the Forest, who were said to have sacrificed their own young for the power to break the arm of Dorne. 

Blood magic has different uses and not all are fatal/require the loss of life. It can be used to see someone’s future through a single drop of blood, for example. Maybe even to fuse different beasts together into a new breed ( as Valyrians were said to do ). But undoubtedly, it’s on a grander scale that its power is used, such as to control/influence the weather, heal mortal wounds, control the fury of a certain volcanic mountain chain ( the Fourteen Flames ), longevity/immortality and bring the dead back to life. There are likely more uses that we have not been introduced to in the books. But just as there are different intensities to spells, the requirements for blood also vary depending on what that spell is. The greater the power, the more powerful the blood must be ( note that I used the ‘more powerful the blood’ not ‘the more blood there must be’ ). 

The blood of innocents ( children ) and the blood of a willing sacrifice are the most powerful blood there is to use for blood magic. Some magic may hold more power than the other, such as ‘king’s blood’, is believed to hold a more ‘powerful’ life blood. This can be debated with how changeable royalty can be ( someone can conquer a kingdom and become a new king, for example ). Valyrians, Children of the Forest, The First Men are examples of those with magical power in their blood so it can be believed that the use of their blood would yield more potency or ‘life blood’. It’s important to note that the presence of fire in some form is also necessary. Fire and Blood are quite literally the base for blood magic, it’s not just a mere Targaryen motto–It stems from Valyria ( and maybe the Bloodstone Emperor/Great Empire ) itself, a civilization that thrived on the use of this magic. 

Self-sacrifice is the ultimate power for blood magic, as it often is for all things. But there is one ‘forbidden’ form of self-sacrifice in the ‘rules’ of blood magic, and that is kinslaying. This is simply because it’s a way for the bloodmage ( or whoever is casting the blood spell ) to have the power of self-sacrifice, which is killing one’s own blood, without dying; instead, it’s the sibling who dies. Lesser blood spells can be done using one’s own blood/life blood but constant performance of them will drain the user’s very vitality, until it will eventually result in death. A willing sacrifice ( the life of a loved one to forge a magical weapon or even life ). We have Dany’s example reviving dragons, something her ancestors have tried but failed, likely because only she was born from a sacrifice herself; her blood is imbued with that power. We also have those that have been revived/are given longevity by bloodmagic, where their very blood is imbued with the fire of it ( smoking blood, as it has been mentioned in books ). 

I will develop more on this as the series/shows/RP continues, but now let’s go on to how this has to do with Rhaegar. As it’s known, Rhaegar was born during the tragedy of Summerhall, where members of his family ( his great-grandfather, King Aegon V, Prince Duncan the Small, and Ser Duncan the Tall ) died. Although the official announcement had it that it would be a feast or a gathering to celebrate the upcoming birth of his great-grandchild; it is strongly believed that the fire that consumed Summerhall was part of a spell to attempt to hatch dragon eggs/bring back dragons. Three is a number that has been proven significant in blood magic, and here we have three deaths. As mentioned, the ‘true’ reason for their gathering was to bring back dragons through magic, and the use for fire ( wildfire, pyromancers ) suggests the presence of sorcery. 

Aegon V was adamant on wanting to bring dragons back ( because he believed it was the way to maintain the Targaryen dynasty, since he knew it was declining ), so maybe he learned of a way to bring them back through sorcery; that he was convinced would work ( previous attempts by other Targaryens, of course, failed ). Whatever the true reason, or regardless of what lead to the fire growing out of control, three lives were lost ( that is known, so am going with what is known ). Rhaella gave birth to Rhaegar in the midst of that fire, and it is believed that Ser Duncan’s valor is what saved Rhaella, which means this was a willing sacrifice. They wanted to ‘hatch dragons from stone’ but in its place, Rhaegar, The Last Dragon, was born. We could go a more sinister route and have that Aegon V intended to use Rhaegar’s life in his impending birth as the actual sacrifice also, and maybe Ser Duncan realized this and saved Rhaella? After all, Jaehaerys forced Aerys and Rhaella to marry for the sake of the prophecy, that the promised prince would be born from their line. But whether it was or not, it didn’t work, of course so moving on.

What also makes me think that his birth was no mere tragic incident, is how for seventeen years following his birth ( from a teenaged Rhaella, let’s not forget she was fourteen, so a very dangerous birth in itself already ) none of his siblings survived. Fast forward to Viserys being born when Rhaella was actually a woman, healthy and strong, surviving infancy. Then we have Dany, who was also birthed in a similar circumstance as Rhaegar, where her mother died birthing her–Another sacrifice, for a child with a magical destiny. Does it mean all children whose mother’s die are magical? No, it doesn’t. There has to be specific ‘magic’ involved ( as there was for Rhaegar with Summerhall and Dany in a storm ), certain bloodlines, etc.. On this note, I would like to mention Jon Snow ( a child also with a magical prophecy ), who’s mother also died birthing him, in another sacrifice. Not to mention he also has a symbolism of Azor Ahai, Nissa Nissa and Lightbringer’s birth around him, but that’s another subject. So with these examples, we have a common theme: life for death, death for life. Blood for fire, fire for blood. This is the base of bloodmagic.

As mentioned before, not all have this ‘magic’ imbued in their blood but I do believe Rhaegar is a part of the prophecy because he himself is a product of magic, in the sense that magic had a part in his birth. Just as Dany and Jon Snow. Was he the Prince that was Promised? Azor Ahai? A mix of both and something else? Maybe his destiny was indeed to father the prince, or a ‘head of the dragon’ ( this is a symbolic speech again, for the magical importance of the number three ). We get a glimpse of this in the Valyrian song that Daemon sings in House of the Dragon, which also mentions the ‘yn lantyz bartossa, saelot vāedis; but two heads, to a third sing’. It’s safe to say this song is of Old Valyria in origin, Valyria which practiced blood magic as a cornerstone of their civilization. The song itself almost seems to sing of a spell or a part of the prophecy ( or both ). Prophecy can be interpreted in different ways as we have seen, so maybe all perceptions are ‘correct’ in some way and mistaken at the same time. 

This birth influenced and marked Rhaegar for the rest of his life. Did he eventually learn what really happened in Summerhall? Is that part of the ‘shadow’ he carries? Yes, I love to play on all this and more in my portrayal of him, so I thought it was important to write something in one post, rather than just discussing it with RP partners individually. 

If you read all this, thank you for putting up with my headcanons for this emo prince, and know that I appreciate you!

[placegrenette]

all right no really no really this time we are getting Gap, the second ever full-length studio album by That Band I Probably Should Shut Up About Someday, sometime tomorrow Almaty time (knowing our guys and their track record, quite possibly 11:59 pm Almaty time; for those wondering, Almaty is GMT +6, presently ten hours ahead of New York). And I’m putting my markers down before I’ve heard any of it. I am generally terrible at making predictions, but at least this time we’ll have concrete evidence as to how terrible.

so here’s what I’m predicting:

title track music credits are ZaQ, Bala, Alem, in that order, with assistance from DJ Nai

who also helped out with one or two songs we haven’t heard yet.

at least one song will have “Nice Weather”-esque levels of audible vocal processing and I will complain about it.

ZaQ ends up with more music credits than Ace

but Ace has a credit on the most straightforward ballad / love song.

no solo songs, but in the post-release conversations (slash Instagram Lives), Eaglez start asking about solo songs, and the guys say solo works are planned for later in the year.

(and if that turns out to be true, first up is Bala.)

we are not getting any Imanbek remixes. Granted, I may be the only one thinking that an Imanbek remix might be a possibility, after he appeared on the Feya Perizat roundtable with Ace and ZaQ in 2021, but if he was going to offer them a discount on his usual rate he would’ve done it by now.

At least one song (not counting “Gap,” which we’ve already been told has Kazakh/English punning) has as much English as “eMoji” did, or more.

Here’s one of my more out-there predictions: they find a way to sneak Bala speaking some Korean (something cheesy like annyeong hasaeyo or even saranghae) into one of the raps.

We will get official English subs for “Gap” and any other followup singles, but not the entire album.

The four Saturday Tune demos that haven’t already been turned into Independent!Ninety One singles (”T’nda,” “Don’t Dig It,” “Intro,” and “R (Outro)”) are dead, done, nowhere in sight, they have not been repurposed, they will never be heard again. (Sigh.)

 I will like maybe one song we haven’t heard yet on first listen. Most of the songs I will dislike, perhaps strongly, the first fifty times I hear them and then give them another 300 listens and refuse to admit it publicly (this is what happened with “Órik,” by the way). So if you listen to the album, whether or not you love it, and come over here to find me being a killjoy, please do not take it personally or conclude that this reflects somehow on your taste! It does not! I am just trying to fight off the inevitable sense of letdown after all this buildup with, “eh, it’s probably not that great.” Rest assured that I do want to hear about you enjoying the album even if I’m being grumpy.

[tinyshe]

Garden Report 23.01.07

So ... Happy New Year!

Was out in the garden new years day feeling rather sad but the day was lovely and I wanted force myself Out. I worry about the ancient fruitless plum tree. There is a section of heartwood exposed and conks are thriving. We always talk about taking it out but might have to be the year to avoid liability. This year has just begun but it has been really difficult and I don’t want it. If nothing else, it has to be topped heavily. The little sapling next to it is budding up to bloom so it needs to happen soon if the weather allows.

This is going to be the year that there we some heavy pruning, so much so that I am thinking we might have to rent a chipper. I like chips and need chips (both wooden for the garden and potato-kind for my belly ;)  but that’s another avenue for discussion!).

I think I have tried everything possible under the sun and am reverting back to some older gardening styles. Mind you, this is all just in my head for now. I am wanting to take out the grow boxes but then again I want to raise them up higher. But, for navigation purposes, and not being boxed in (no pun intended) they are going. Most of the wooden box edges have rotted and all building materials are too expensive.  I think I am going to go with a perpetual hotbed with French intensive style of growing . I really feel this is going to be the best option for my location after everything I have tried. It will raise the ‘soil’ temperature, keep moisture in the soil on an even keel, keep compost in direct line to consumption of plants and hopefully, less work for higher yields ... and we all like those higher yields/less work ratios! I hate hugell mounds due to the vermin population tunneling and setting up housekeeping so I am hoping that a high hotbed will not have the same problems. Fingers crossed! Time will tell if I can get this project launched.

Garlic that we planted late is popping up just as wonderfully strong ... as if we weren’t late; it don’t care! its super garlic! old variety aka heirloom & robust. I really need to plant more garlic and onions because for some reason they are MIA at the grocers. Need more grow space -- Looking at perhaps taking out a pergola that is next to the area of the summer house. I hope that opens up more space for container growing if I can beat down the monster kiwi who came back From The Dead With Vengeance! The bamboo and kiwi are now courting cousins of the third kind and a bane to my sense of permaculture garden dwellers. I can yell Not In My Garden but obviously, yes, in my garden, in spades [cue theme song mash up Who Ya Gonna Call from Ghost Busters and Bad Boys from Cops].

Hens, I love my hens. For Christmas I got a ceramic art tile that says “I get by with a little help from my hens”. We jest that they are my therapy chickens but you know, its not far from the truth. Maybe I can get just a few more (chicks) and slowly integrate ... I’ve done that before but its like some of the ‘blended family’, they tolerate each other and pretend to play well with each other while being watched BUT technically have two micro flocks.

The Worm friends, I confess, I have neglected. I just have not been mobile enough to be fussing over them. They are probably happier that I am not disturbing them. They are hardy stock and don’t complain (unlike my vocal chickens!). When/if I do my hot mounds/hot beds I will introduce part of the population to those situations. I had divided my vermiculture holdings into two boxes so I will probably take the older box for the beds since that box will probably be composted the most (?) idk. Have to wait and assess.

I have my plastic ammo can of seeds that I keep my newest seeds in. I have my older seeds in a shoe box and need to Do-A-Dump garden which is kind of fun. I mix all my old seeds and broadcast sow into a single bed. If it grows, huzzah! If it don’t, it won’t and just nestles itself into the compost cycle of things. I have to do this every couple of years because saving, sharing and purchasing happens more than what I can use for my small patch at one time so it all sort of just gathers up and accumulates to a point of action is necessary ... I could make seed bombs but my experience it, they don’t do well. Cute idea, big on the feel good aspect but really not best situation for the germinating seeds. So we do the Do-A-Dump so they have a better chance of surviving.

So this is the update of the garden doings -- most of it just plans while we wait through the Winter months. Hope everyone is planning and dreaming of gardening, both big and small.

[kochlandhomestead]

10/01/22

Wow did September really just fly by like that? Feels like just 2 weeks ago I was doing this for August but heres my self accountability post for the end of the 9th month of 2022

Lets start with the ol resale business. Historical Days was a big success. I got rid of a lot of my old stock from the shed and made a nice profit on the weekend. Really wish I could get to more festivals and markets. That was a goal for this year that I am failing at. eBay had gone cold since the first week of September but I had 3 sales this week. With 4th quarter starting now hopefully it will be getting even better. I learned a lot last week at eBay open, lets see if I can transform that into sales. I also am looking into a booth at a local flea market that is open on Fridays. Possibly going to open there in November. Its a risk and a big step but it just may be time.

Classes started Monday in my Ag science and organic growing classes. Its been a challenge this week but I feel im back in the flow. I even got my first week assignment done early, y'all know thats a big one for me.

Things around the Homestead are winding down into what I refer to as hibernation time. The garden is ready to be put to bed, hopefully I get to that nexg week. Pears and apples need picked. Gotta dig potatoes yet and see how that harvest is. Lots of little things but its about over.

I didn't have a single Wrestling show this month. We did do our company picnic last Saturday but besides that nothing. The quiet is killing me. October has a couple but November is really bare. Gotta do something about this.

My TV back log has gotten worse. Im weeks behind on Wrestling. Its really ridiculous lol. I haven't watched any of She-Hulk or House Of Dragons. Seems everyday I add on another episode or 5 of the network shows that I try to catch as much of as possible like FBI or Law & Order. I haven't even seen the new Thor yet. I am caught up on Andor of course and am still working through my rewatch of Fear the walking dead. For someone that completely cut the cord this list is nuts!

Speaking of cutting the cord lets discuss my "off grid" life as it is. So many projects and ideas I had for the summer went unstarted. I really had hoped to have a little wood stove set up but not even close. I did get a bucket washing machine built for hand washing and of course my water collection system grew nicely. But still im way behind even though im far better than I was last year at this time.

My health has been good and ive really been doing well at eating. Im near my calorie goal almost everyday. Cooler weather really helps as does less time spent working outside. Now to finally start regular workouts again.

With just a month to go its time to start really planning and working on the upcoming holiday season here and at the Santa House. All while trying to enjoy spooky season too. Its a juggling act sometimes.

The personal life thing is pretty much as wacky as always. Mom and Dad have both been doing good. Dad has a bum shoulder but he says it is feeling a little better. Tyler has been coming around a little bit more now that he has Whiskey to take out. She sure is a cutie and becoming a good pal of mine. I been thinking again about a new cat or dog. Maybe near Christmas? My special person and myself have had a difficult time of getting together. Always seems to be something come up. Its hard with busy lives and a bit of a distance between us. We have plans for next Saturday so hopefully.... It was great to hang out with the Wrestling family last week, tomorrow I get more of that plus the Town Meeting crew. Having a small social life is sad at times but it makes me enjoy it more when it happens. A goal for 2023 is more interaction with friends and family and less alone time!

I think thats enough for tonights book. If you made it through thanks for reading. These things are always kinda hard for me to do but I really feel that they along with you who do read help me keep myself in check.

[dogntreats]

New Post has been published on Dog N Treats

New Post has been published on https://dogntreats.com/automatic-laser-dog-toy/

Picture this: You’ve just settled in after a long day, ready to unwind with your favorite show and a cup of tea. Suddenly, a furry torpedo comes barreling into the room, tail wagging with the force of a hurricane, eyes pleading for…you guessed it…PLAYTIME.

Sound familiar? We’ve all been there. As much as we love our energetic pups, keeping up with their boundless energy can feel like a full-time job. You need a break, and your furry friend needs an outlet that doesn’t involve chewing on your slippers or using your new rug as a racetrack.

Why Dog Owners (and Their Furry Best Friends) Are Giving This Automatic Dog Toy Two Paws Up:

Enter the YVE LIFE Automatic Laser Toy – your new secret weapon against canine boredom and the key to unlocking hours of playful fun, even when you need a moment to recharge your own batteries. This isn’t just another dog laser toy destined to be forgotten under the couch. This is a top-rated interactive dog toy, a true dog entertainment game-changer, and an investment in your dog’s happiness, your sanity, and maybe even the longevity of your furniture.

Banishes Boredom, Prevents Mischief: We all know a bored dog is a mischievous dog. The YVE LIFE automatic laser pointer for dogs provides the mental and physical enrichment your dog needs to stay happy, engaged, and out of trouble. Say goodbye to chewed furniture, frantic barking, and those “uh oh” moments when you realize they’ve found their way into the treat cupboard again. This is one of the best dog toys to redirect that energy into healthy play!

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Features That Make Playtime Epic:

Automatic Random Laser Movements: The laser darts and dances in unpredictable patterns, keeping your dog guessing, engaged, and challenged. No more predictable movements that lead to boredom! This motion-activated dog toy keeps your dog on their toes (literally!) with its ever-changing laser show. It’s the perfect way to tap into those natural instincts to chase.

Adjustable Speed and Timer Settings: Every dog is different. That’s why the YVE LIFE toy lets you customize the play session to match your dog’s energy level and attention span. Choose from slow and steady to fast and furious! You can even set the timer for different play durations, ensuring your dog gets the perfect amount of exercise without getting overstimulated.

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YVE LIFE vs. the Competition: Why It Stands Out

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Give your dog the gift of endless fun and engagement with the YVE LIFE Automatic Laser Toy. You’ll love seeing them happy, active, and entertained, and they’ll love you for understanding their need to play!

Read More Reviews On Amazon

[solardick]

I doubt im getting back to normality” any time soon. Oh, Sightly loathing. You are a something to see. It’s being built up again. I suspect another crisis. Im losing count. The jupiter in aqua is an awefull piece of shit as my brother would say. On the positive side of abuse and harrasment. And placement. And despair. Hig ols steliem of demons. Is what the centaurs are. Playing this horrorscope to a T. Destruction. And glee. Glee? Yeah glee. Its the most consistent thing inknow from others. Its just there. And yet not one person. Noy one person had come forward other than yo gleem a peice of info. Like y’all fo here. Looking for something? I got plenty.

Anyway. I was thinking. a or the other way of writting it. And, o, e, c. Probably a dead end. Maybe not. Blind fool. O fool, the E fool and the high priestess. There it is again. And something new. We got two pillars. An innocemt fool amd a “guilty fool. And the Oo death card. Whichbis neat being a card that uses the letters on the card to speak it own play. Its a passage of time. And a glimpse of the future amd the fear ewith death on thr consequences if it isnt speaking something else also. The distant and the present.

The more convinced i become that this card is wuite magical indeed. And a right slection. Whoch was waiting to be plugged in. Wasn’t my choice. Just the body. The things that come to when one is in solitary.

The marseille fool. The current E-fool. Is a negative figure. I preffer the negative figure. It just nakes more sense. Symbolically. I mean you can try and bend the rules all yah want. So that it fixed as a projection. Cant use waites fool. For that. The blind fool is best. Spwaks the same message and then some. Without all the fancy excesorries. They played the marseeille fool on me. Didn’t really fit cause their wrong but. They dont listen

Know what. Im gonna talk openly about my love for jesus. To everyone around me. Would you kiss jesus with the mouth?! Jesus. Come, here. This guy wants a kiss. Yeah thats what inthought shut the fuck yp. The current list of demons” are called pests. Pestilence. Bzz bzz. Go be by myself. They make sure they fallowed me around and rub in how much they enjoy being cunts.

Well lets put the crusofix back on. Since that is my life. And watch all these cunts give me a hard time. Hey look the weather report id wrong. Its usually spot on to thr minute. But not today its raining out. Not cloudy.

Just because i believe in god doesnt mean i have to be polite about. Hlaf the world is busy sucking eachother off, createing single peramt families and being cunts anyway.

The term cocksukr is poli numerous or however its called. If its been seperated into its original

Teo words. Its literally all in the eye of the beholder. People eat cocks all the time. And to be called a sucker. Means what? Point made.

Oh shit! Its a dove. Good. Doves are good. God agrees with me. The problem

With eating a bird. Requires destruction of natural resources.

Alright. Do an std screening and if thats negative get a rectal cancer screening. If i have to wear a diaper for the rest of my life. Im backing out.

Moral of my life. Dont be an incompetant retard and have children.

n dit turns out god was right when the crows warnes mw agaisnt nate on the day he said we would be working together. He’s just another fucktard that wnjoys fucken with people. Though its weird how he mostly just specificcalt warned me about him. Pudgy batman and the neurotic troll too. To anlesser degree and the others.. not muchnof anything. Odd. Probably because the others dont try and hide it.

After this grouo of people messing with me i womder who the next group will be.

Place after place year after year. Since childhood. Born in hell.

Anyway god. Thanks for looking out for me. In this world full of narcissists. Taken joy in ruining my life. But i dont need it. You’re wasting your time. All life is is other people hurting me. Its all its ever been. Father’s a narsicist. He always showed me elation when talking about having the upoer handover someone. The smiles he used to gove me instead of giving me guidance. Like you used to say about Tony’s father. “I used to use as a punchign bag” said it multiple times when a smile on his face. All life is is this. After 30 years. Of constant upgeaval. I dont want to be alive anymore. Sont waste your time on me. Im not surviving much longer.

Inwish i was a narsicist peice of shit too. Maybe id have a life and be a degwbweate fucktard to the rest of humanity toi and have a sens eof acconomishment. Like lak these others. Ive been beaten since i was 13. Dead since i was 13. They’re never going to stop. I dint know what life is not being fucked with. Its always been this way. An dinknow that theyre never going to stop. They take oleasure in it. Over 30 years mu entire life is other people hirting me. So i doesnt matter what i do. Im stuck her essrroinded by criminal assholes. How have been taling my existance since birth. So just go away. And stop trying to help me. I need them gone. Or your efforts are useless they laugh and mock you god. Leave me be. And let me die. I dont want yiur help anymore. Im not allowed to be myself. Surrounded by all these fucken cocksukrs.

I thought about going to go see for soem help for my psychosocial issues. But then i realized that these faucktards have been engeneering me to be this way. Somits pointless cause its not really me. Its them. I wish there was a lesson for me to learn in allnof this. But theres not.after this many years. Theres notheing to learn. Thats isn’t isnt actually the real world. Its a torutee chamber i was born in. And have been a target in sinve birth. Theres nothign to take away from it.

I have a life sentence of being fucked woth foe other reason then being born. Im hoing to start leaving my door unlocked so, y’all can vome in freely and drug up my food again. And do whatever sicknand twisted y’all want to do to me. 39 and i still dont know what havign a sense of securoty feels like. Womder what it feels like being libed and having someone hows got your back. I womder what it feels like not havign an environemnt animinical to uour well being. I wimder what it feels like being a narcissi t peice of shot. Womder whatn it feels like feelig. Rightious while destroying and slowly killing soemones life. Wonder what it feels like havign responsibility for someone else life. Womder what it feels like beign there and supporting someone you know isn’t fucking with uou. Winder ehat life would be like not being raised by enemies. Wo

We what its like not being an object of ridicule. Womder what its like havign i sider i formation on my own life. The world had been plotting agaisnt me sonce i was a child. I wish there was soemthign to learn in life. But, theees not. Ive already learnt wverything 30 years ago. I have a teachers personality. And everyone treats me like im a in now at all bettwr than thou charecter. Its easier to lear. While you teach. To bad being a study means you never learn anything. Eomder what its like not being serroundd by criminals. Havign people, shoving dick and drugs in your face everyday. Been that way since choldhood. Its never going to change.

Hey its my birthday tomorow. Wonder what sick twosted bs their going to gove me. My retarded invred family will

Probably send me money. Ugh. More cash to donate to charity supposed.

[echoestm]

❝His voice means to deceive you. My voice just wants to lead you.❞

Name: Stuart Macher Dr. Art Archem DOB: 07/21/1979 Sign: Cancer Gender Identity: cis man Sexual Orientation: panromantic pansexual Relationship Status: Single Profession: Clinical Psychologist specializing in trauma. Interests: Billy Loomis. Ghostface. Stab films. Horror films. Movie-making. Hunting. His own physical fitness. Family. Legacy. His private practice. The world of true crime. Gale Weathers. Masks. Aestheticism. The life and times of Hugh Hefner and the Playboy Mansion. Rock 'n roll. Tiktok. Vine. The Internet. Religious affiliation: None. he had only one god, once

Come the morning of the anniversary of Maureen Prescott's murder, Woodsboro's just got too many mangled bodies to handle on it's under-resourced hands. Living bodies, bloodied and battered, dead bodies so much worse. The Becker girl and Orth boy hadn't yet had a funeral and Principal Himbry was still taking up space in the morgue. Small town that they were, they just weren't built for a killing spree. It was the kind of thing that happened in fast-paced L.A. not sleepy little retreats for the wealthy like Woodsboro. There's nothing to do but call in neighboring counties for additional everything, cold storage, transport, ambulances.

Had he ended up in a local bus with Woodsboro EMTs maybe it would have been different. As it was, he was just another unconscious John Doe with a surprise pulse, pulled out from the mess of the Macher farmhouse. Stu wakes up in a hospital, sore, sporting a headache the IV drugs don't put a dent in, staring down nurses who want his name. The second he's alone he rips out lines and books it outta there.

Artus T. Archem

Not right away, of course. . . That'd be like asking to get caught. No, it's just a little something doodled on a long list of possibilities. Because he has nothing else to do while convalescing alone. Because idle hands are the devil's playground. Because… there's going to be a sequel some day. Revenge of the Ghostface.

For a long time he's nobody. Tim. Drew. Sean. A different forgettable single syllable in every new place he moves to— in and out while the scars are healing. Just long enough to make enough cash to amble along to the next place. Leslie helps too— after she gets the whole story out him. The Macher Cut. Bad Billy influence. In over his head. Running now from the obvious cover-up that Sid and that Gale Weathers are obviously in on together to better keep all those dirty little Prescott secrets under wraps.

Eventually there's a real name— a new one, to go with school and papers and a Montana driver's license. But he never forgets good old Archem. Sounds like Arkham. Like the town full of horrors Lovecraft wrote about. Like the Asylum that Batman fails to keep the nightmares locked up in. He likes that. Full of bats and ghosts and madness. Hadn't Billy said— we all go a little mad sometimes?

He'd sure felt like it, waking up post-op more bandaged than the Universal Mummy, dodging the question of his name from some tired looking nurse. If they didn't know that. . .

Far as he could figure after, they didn't. Not yet. There'd been too much blood, too much confusion, too many bodies. His among them— first piled with the deceased and then dug out when somebody heard him rasping for breath. John Doe #3 until claiming or confirmation could be found. A luxury he hadn't waited around to give them. Afterwards, the description of him had sounded like Stu Macher, but good old Sid had said it was impossible. She'd killed him. Not that she ever served a day for it.

He becomes a rumored mystery that the Woodsboro PD handwaves away like a stink they can't wait to be free of. The odor of their own incompetence.

Later, so much later, he changes his name one last time— so it's official on his paperwork when he graduates as Dr. Artus T. Archem.

He's learned SO MUCH in all those anatomy and psychology classes.

[indigoashh]

ABOUT ME?

I wasn't tagged but doing this again 5 years later because why not? Let's see how much I've changed!

RULES: answer these 85 statements and tag people

THE LAST: Drink: Water Phone call: My mother Text message: "Posso essere da te per le 8:15/8:30 circa? Magari ti aspetto giù e andiamo a fare colazione assieme?" Translation: "Can I be at your place around 8:15/8:30 in the morning? Maybe I could wait outside and we can go have breakfast together?" In a group chat, trying to plan next Saturday's trip. Song you listened to: Contro il Mondo - Baustelle Time you cried: A few days ago, I was rewatching Silence in the Library and Forest of the Dead (Doctor Who).  Dated someone twice:  No Kissed someone and regretted it: No Been cheated on: No Lost someone special: Yes Been depressed: Yes Gotten drunk and thrown up: gotten drunk yes, thrown up no. I always stop before getting really wasted, I don't like to lose control and forget stuff.

FAVOURITE COLOURS: Indigo Red  Purple

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: Made new friends: Yes! Fallen out of love: Sadly, yes. I had to, it was too painful otherwise. Laughed until you cried: Many times Found out someone was talking about you: Maybe once, don't really remember Met someone who changed you: Yes Found out who your friends are: Oh yes, luckily Kissed someone on your facebook list: Yep

GENERAL: How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: Almost all of them Do you have any pets: A cat! Her name's Cenere :3 Do you want to change your name: I want to change my surname What did you do for your last birthday: I turned 24 and I had a small party with my friends. In my group three of us have really close birthdays, like one right after the other, so instead of having a three day long party we just organised one and saved money ahahah What were you doing at midnight last night: Watching a live stream on Twitch and writing fan fictions Name something you can’t wait for: Cold weather, blankets and a hot cup of tea or chocolate When was the last time you saw your mom: Half an hour ago What are you listening to right now: Nothing, strangely Have you ever talked to a person named tom: If Tommaso (the Italian version) counts yes  Something that is getting on your nerves: Nothing really, I'm pretty chill  Most visited website: Probably Amazon? I don't really know Hair colour: Dark Reddish Brown Long or short hair: Short Do you have a crush on someone: Only if celeb crushes count, in that case yes What do you like about yourself: My creativity  Want any piercings: Nopity-nope Blood type: I don’t know   Nickname: Leysa Relationship status: Single Zodiac: Pisces Pronouns: She/They Favorite tv show: Doctor Who, Broadchurch, Daredevil, Arcane, Good Omens Tattoos: I don't have any but I'd like to, I have three in mind! Right or left handed: Ambidextrous Surgery: Two, for kidney stones, one coming up for the same reason Piercing: Nope, I don’t like those Sport: Swimming Vacation: Ireland, Scotland, Norway, somewhere cold Pair of trainers: Dark Red Converse (which I bought because of Doctor Who)

MORE GENERAL: Eating: Crisps Drinking: Nothing, but I should really get some water I’m about to: Work Waiting for: The third season of Good Omens Want: Rain Get married: I hope so, one day! Career: I'm an artist

WHICH IS BETTER: Hugs or kisses: Hugs Lips or eyes: Eyes Shorter or taller: Taller Older or younger: Older Nice arms or nice stomach: Nice arms Hook up or relationship: Relationship Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER: Kissed a stranger: No Drank hard liquor: Yes Lost glasses/contact lenses: No! Those things are expensive for me xD Turned someone down: Yeah, once, but I had to Sex on the first date: Guilty. Broken someone’s heart: No I don't think so. Had your heart broken: Many times Been arrested: Nope Cried when someone died: Yes Fallen for a friend: Yup

DO YOU BELIEVE IN Yourself: From time to time Miracles: No Love at first sight: Not love, more like attraction and maybe a sensation that could lead to love tho, yes Santa Claus: Nope Kiss on the first date: Yes! I have kissed on first dates, twice Angels: In a certain way, yes

OTHER: Current best friends name: Mira Eyecolour: Hazel Favorite movie: Only Lovers Left Alive

I won't tag anyone but feel free to do it!

[dreaminmetaphors]

Yo Mama So Republican

Oh yeah? Oh yeah? Well yo mama so dumb she wants to fence in all the gay people —so that they’ll stop reproducing! Yo mama so dumb she thinks the Great Wall of China is between us and Mexico. Yo mama So Stupid that after 40yrs of warnings about climate change, when the weather goes wonky, she's like, “Well, maybe it's The Jews? And their space lasers!” Yo mama is so ignorant she thinks talking about racism is “the real racism.”

Yo mama so ugly she does pretzel twists and contortions to avoid saying: “Black Lives Matter.” Yo mama so slutty she doesn't believe in using protection. She let every single variant of covid-19 inside her. Yo mama so lazy she tells everyone the Bible is the literal word of God. Still hasn't read it. Man, when yo mama sits around the house, she sits—in front of the computer thinking she knows more about immunology than people with advanced medical degrees. Yo mama so gullible, you can turn her against anything just by adding an adjective to it: Culture? Cancel culture. Using correct names? Political correctness. She hates them now. Yo mama so gullible she hopes we replace social security with separate, market-vulnerable accounts. You know: anti-social insecurity. Oh, you wanna say something? Nah, yo mama says money is speech, so you and yo mama too broke to talk back. Yo mama so gullible, she still calls herself an evangelical Christian while taking a selfie in front of a golden image of Barabbas, whom she voted for. Yo mama so gullible, she watches Fox News—and thinks it’s news! Or I don't know, maybe it's just because she's so old... Yo mama so ancient, she thinks family values means bludgeoning a gay man to death with rocks, then going to bed alone while her husband impregnates a twelve-year-old. Yeah, she's so conservative, she takes a firm anti-slavery stance, expects us all to be impressed, ...but she's still on the fence about Jim Crow. Yo mama so conservative she gets triggered by the word trigger. ...and still wants more guns out there. Dead kids? Meh, who'd be triggered by that? Yo mama so conservative she hates participation trophies like they tell her to on Fox, —which IS a participation trophy for voicing uninformed opinions “It's okay, Sean. You didn't study the material or learn anything, but you still had something to say. Who's my clever little proud boy?” Yo mama so Republican, she hates Obamacare. So terrible. Not like the Affordable Care Act that saved her waste of a life. (Thanks, Obama.) Yo mama so Republican, any time she has to do something she doesn't want to, it's tyranny. And any time we don't do what she wants, that's also tyranny. If freedom isn't everyone doing what she tells us, then she doesn't know what it is. Yeah, she doesn't know what it is.

See, it all fits together. The lazy ignorance. Intentional gullibility. The ugliness. Yo mama so stupid, she thinks she's brilliant because she doesn't even know enough— about anything—to know how much she still doesn't know, you know? And that's how we got here. Mamas. Some people's mamas so stupid and ugly and mean, it's obvious she taught them everything they don't know.

[andrewkhurst]

HOW I WENT FROM DADDY HURST TO PAPA SMURF IN THE NEW AVATAR MOVIE IN THE SPACE OF THREE AND A HALF MINUTES.

Half term holidays mean a few rare but cherished daddy and Martha days. This particular one started at 7am with Martha saying “dad DAD I’ve got chickenpox!” Motherclucker. The weather forecast was for springtime sunshine. We had a trip to the library planned, and I was going to see if we could maybe buy some strawberry plants and do some daddy daughter gardening. This was prevented by the pox, as we were placed under house arrest by our resident healthcare professional (i.e. mum) before she left for work. I had covid PTSD, trapped again.

Martha said she was feeling a bit tired, and wanted to have a sofa day. She had ditched her obsession with repeat binging the Wizard of Oz as soon as I decided to spend £7.99 purchasing it on Amazon movies. Today was a PJ masks kind of day. If you haven’t been subjected to the show before, the titular Masks are three school chums who go to school during the day (often discovering some knocked over paint cans or the mysteriously missing innards of a remote control) then get into their pyjamas (or PJs, geddit?) and spend the entire night gently fighting crime against one of three pint sized pre-pubescent baddies. They then seem to be back at school the next morning in the following episode, right as rain, not a yawn or eye bag in sight. I think they just neck a tonne of amphetamines between them in the closing credits. I can’t see it working out long term for these drug addled young ‘uns. Come to think of it, PJ could stand for ‘Phetamine Junkies.

A PJ Masks day meant Martha watching a series or three of the insomniac kid superhero cartoon before morphing herself into a variety of evil villains and making a lot of cardboard or paper remote controls to control the superheroes and make them do ridiculous things (the basic premise of at least 34.8% of the episodes). Once the first remote was manufactured, Martha asked which superhero was going to be controlled. I looked around. I was the only person there. Bad odds. Martha then threw a curveball, pointing to two invisible friends or Victorian ghosts at the side of me. “Will it be daddy, or medium girl or this little baby?’

I grabbed the crucifix and holy water from our exorcism drawer (located between the man drawer and the tea towel drawer) and doused the Persian rug before Martha announced “It will beee….daddyyyy!” I was glad that the ghosts had been busted, but kind of wished that we were inhabiting an actual haunted house so that I could be freed from the ridiculous clutches of the remote control. My spirit was crushed slowly over the next thirty minutes of ‘left, right, jump, backwards, freeze, unfreeze’, until the evil villain said that she needed a wee. I asked if I could be remote controlled to unload the washing machine and hang the laundry out. This was met with approval, and villain sent me on my way to the garden via the utility room.

It takes about three and a half minutes to hang out five work polo shirts and two pairs of jeans. I came back in and there was no sign of Martha. I looked up to the living room ceiling in case her spooky spectre sisters had levitated her in my absence, but no dice. I called up ‘Martha are you okay love?’ More silence. Silence is never good. It’s either a blunt head injury that results in loss of consciousness, or mischief. I feared the worst. Mischief.

I called out again as I turned to go upstairs. Martha was at the top of the stairs, in front of a 1950s G Plan full length mirror that she is single handedly on a mission to cover in fingerprints every 24 hours, despite my protestation. She really didn’t look well. She looked like she was a severe case of hypothermia. Or dead. I dialled 999. Then I noticed the blue marker pen in her left hand. I told the operator that I required no emergency service, unless cleaners were an emergency service, then I really REALLY needed a cleaner. She told me that cleaners were NOT an emergency service, like those lying bastards in the AA, sighed and hung up on me.

As I reached the top of the stairs , I saw that Martha had coloured her entire face in blue pen. Eyelids, lips, EVERYTHING. I felt like papa Smurf clapping eyes on Smurfette for the first time. Or an extra in a live action, lower budget remake of James Cameron’s zillion Dollar cartoon, ‘Avatar: the Way of Daughter’. Martha dropped the pen on the floor and stuck out her tongue. That was blue too. My kid had turned into Violet Beauregarde. I waited for her to inflate and float away to a restricted area of the chocolate factory, but she didn’t. My instant reaction was to laugh out loud whilst thinking ‘oh shit. We are BOTH in so much trouble’. We went straight into the bathroom for a good scrub and wash. Which removed about 90% of the pen, leaving Martha with the distinct look of a corpse. All she needed was a ruffle collared Victorian dress and she could have joined the spooky siblings in the line up for the next game of “who am I controlling now?”