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matildainmotion · 4 years

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What if Self-Love is Not About the Self? By Natasha Fowler and Matilda Leyser

This blog is a collage.

A collaboration

A conversation between my words -Matilda’s- and….

….Mine, Natasha’s

It’s a blog about looking after yourself, ourselves, and how I, you, we go about doing that.

It is in two parts. You can also listen to the blog if you go HERE:

PART ONE:

First, to introduce ourselves:

Matilda: I am a mother, writer, theatre-maker, co-director of Mothers Who Make, wife, daughter, insomniac.

Natasha: I am a friend, a lover, a guardian, a wounded human. I am a White woman, descendant from my ancestors. I make art, share what I know and raise children.

We met at an international MWM meeting.

I’m trying to finish a draft of my novel by Christmas, so I am not writing any blogs. Instead, I send an email to Natasha, in Amsterdam….

Hi Natasha, Please let me know if you wish to write a MWM blog for the month of November. The only requirement is that it ends with a question, relevant to the theme of mothering and making, that can become the focus for the month’s meetings should people wish to take it up. Let me know….. Matilda

Thank you, Matilda, yes. I started work on the self-care article yesterday. I’m going to edit today and share with a few friends. I can commit to having it to you by Wednesday. I hope you have a good steady day of eating, working, caring and resting. I have stretched, washed and consciously dressed but my teeth are not cleaned yet (3/4 of my morning routine). Time to get off emails! Natasha

Late Wednesday, I receive Natasha’s first draft. I see it come into my inbox at nine pm, as I am about to read bedtime stories to my daughter – I think, ‘I won’t read that now, or I won’t sleep.’ I close down my laptop.

I don’t sleep anyway. One of the worst things about insomnia is the radical loneliness – an irrational sense that no one else in the world is still awake.

The next day, tired, wired, I read Natasha’s blog. I know I am a word control freak -I have been known to edit, and re-edit, a text message - but I feel uncertain about publishing Natasha’s draft in the MWM blog spot. I want more mothering and making in it. This also seems a very dubious response- to invite new, diverse people to write a blog and, when they don’t sound like me, to want to edit them to make them sound more so…..and yet, at the same time, I think there is something valid in wanting to look after the particular space that MWM holds, in meetings, online, in writings. After dithering for a few days, I email Natasha –

Hi Natasha, first a disclaimer: I am not in a great place right now. My chronic insomnia has become acute and I am not functioning well, so my critical faculties are pretty ropey! …But would you be willing, to include a little more about your mothering and making in the writing….?

Hi Matilda, It makes sense to me that my approaches and the boundaries of the blog are having a conversation. I am curious about why I don’t talk about mothering and making in a way that meets the criteria. I have an imaginative block for what that’d look like - which tells me I’m categorising the requirement differently to you. It’s a familiar thought cul-de-sac that comes with this Neurodiverse mind I operate in.

Neurodiverse. It’s a term that is relatively new to me and suddenly tremendously potent: at the end of September my son at last received an autism diagnosis. “I get it,” he said when my husband and I told him, “My brain does this” – he drew a detailed picture in the air of different, curved and diagonal connections between invisible points of meaning– “And other peoples’ do this,” he said, drawing a series of straight, right-angled lines.

Hi Natasha, as part of my learning in this area I would be very interested to hear a little more about how you name and describe your neurodiversity. Please send me a few lines articulating your sense of it - why does our exchange feel like ‘a familiar cul-de-sac’ to you? Tell me more about the cul-de-sac and the other streets and highways of your mind :-) Thank you again for your openness, integrity, and all your work on this. Matilda xxx

The cul-de-sac I talk about is a place I get stuck when I've been given a task and I have no imaginable concept of what that would look like. With a long conversation and lots of back and forth clarification, I would probably discover that I do know what you're talking about but I learned a long time ago not to try and clarify everything so precisely, it was not practical/ possible and probably led to people being annoyed by my questions.

Part of my response to the task is to think "but I made the writing - that's the making" and "I am a mother, so if I speak, I'm speaking from the experience of mothering".

In the end I understand the labels autism/ADHD/dyslexia/neurodiversity to be bureaucratic necessities in a world obsessed with 'normal'. The necessary diversity of human experience is medicalised, categorised in order for us to get the money from the system that is needed to exist in the system. I am disabled by what I live in and my race/class/gender identity have protected me from that disabling being far more consequential.

I can’t and don’t want to argue with any of this. I feel dismayed at the idea that my requirements for the MWM blog might actually in themselves be exclusive. I don’t feel good about wading in and making Natasha’s voice more acceptable within my idea of what the text should sound like. So, I think instead I will be transparent – I will leave her words as they are and add some of mine – put in the mothering and the making that I feel the need to include. As it happens, Natasha’s chosen theme, of the need for self-care to be a process that takes place as a collective, community act, could not be more relevant to my experience of mothering and making this month.

Here we go then….

PART TWO:

Natasha: I ran out of self-love this summer, overwhelmed by stories of all my faults, what I’d lost and not done. I spent too much time subject to a cruel inner tyranny. I held onto the idea that I could take care of the situation alone. That I could create the self-love I needed. I could not. I needed to depend on something beyond my self. Although I had vowed to love myself first only two years ago, I was now raising questions about this individualised ideal of self-love.

Matilda: Take care, people say. I still struggle to do this. I sit on the stairs at 3am. My husband is asleep. My son and daughter are asleep. They are 8 and 4. I am 46. I ought to be able to rest too - how can I possibly take care of them, if I cannot take care of myself in this fundamental way? Self-soothing is a skill that babies, some say, are meant to have learnt after only a few months. I tell myself this when I get to the sobbing stage at 4am. I fantasize about a mother figure– not my real mother who is 79 now, also in my care, also asleep – but some great giant of a mother coming walking through the woods outside. She is coming to take me up in her arms, hold me against her, above the trees, hold me, grown as I am, until I fall asleep. Because tomorrow I have other people to take care of– the children, my mother. And I have another chapter of my novel to write. I know I cannot write when I haven’t slept.

Natasha: I finally gave up the idea that self-love is my sole responsibility. I began to accept the dependence that exists, the vulnerability of my well being. My self-love became communal. Just like the child raising that I do along with my partner, our friends and family; just like the neighbourhood garden my wee boy and I joined in preparing for winter last week.

But how did I end up believing self-love is something I have to do by myself? Born in 1978, independence and individuality were highly prized values when I was growing up. To be able to do things yourself without help was a given. To be free of the demands of a group was important. The myth of singular heroes was all over the culture, from lonesome superheroes to introvert inventors and brave explorers. The heroes saved the vulnerable, and the vulnerable were symbolised as young, straight, thin, white women. The stories of everyone around the inventor and all that they did were edited out. The people who were there before the explorer even set his foot down were erased. The values of independence of individuality, invulnerability are seeped into my bones.

Matilda: Did you sleep? My husband asks me in the morning. I shake my head. He is worried. I am worried. I don’t know what to do. I have tried so many things. I tell him I might put a post about it on the Mothers Who Make Facebook group– “You should,” he says. “That’s what it’s for.” True. I started it, but I find it hard to reach out for support. I have a kind of pride, almost a snobbery, that has often stopped me sharing. ‘What’s on your mind?’ FB asks me – so many things, but I don’t want to place them in that white public space. It feels immodest to do so, to turn my life into a headline. But the truth is, I am afraid.

I recognise this. It is also why I find it hard to share my work. I hold onto it. I have been working on this novel for ten years, and hardly anyone has read it. It is the same reason I edit, re-edit text messages. I do not let people see the mess. The missed comas. The words out of place. I feel safest when sealed off, private, when only carefully crafted images of vulnerability are revealed. And yet, when I am sobbing at 4am, all I want is company. A giant mother. Someone, anyone, to see me, to see the mess of me.

Natasha: I am communally made. My ideas of who I am, what I do, what is the value in me are made during my relationships. Maybe I always knew that like the self-hate I was carrying, my self-love was a communal responsibility. I suspect there is something about the experience of being a mother in my culture that helped me forget. It seems to be an experience that isolates and calcifies our individual sense of responsibility. The International mothers who make calls were part of my communal self-love recovery. Getting to turn up to a new group and hear me tell my story and listen to so much good company. I hope we might all give and receive the love that we need to maintain a sense of our self being loved. I hope we are all learning what we need to learn to be able to do that.

Matilda: So I did it – I put the post on Facebook. I need some help, I wrote, I don’t sleep and I can no longer blame my children for this. My children are sleeping – I am not. Many of you reading this, may have seen it and responded. It was extraordinary for me to see such a huge number of compassionate, wise, responses so fast. Humbling. Profoundly helpful – not just the resources, but the act itself of reaching out and finding so many hands writing back. After only an hour, I went online to look and I could see the wavy line that appears when someone, somewhere is in the process of typing something. A real person out there, taking care. Not just one. Over a hundred. A giant number of mothers.

I wrote back to Natasha:

P.s. The amazing response I received to my insomnia post rather wonderfully proves your point - we don’t have to do this self-care thing on our own. Xxxxx

Don’t have to – can’t even – whoever you are, how ever your mind works, however brilliant you are, however vulnerable, however divergent, however alone you feel.

It sounds so simple. So obvious. We are interconnected. All the streets link up, even the cul-de-sacs have passages leading onto one another. There is no such thing as social distancing. Physical distancing, yes, but social – two metres apart between your thoughts and mine, your experience and mine, your words and mine – is just not possible.

Here then is Natasha’s, my, your, our question for the month:

How do you understand self-love, is it clearly something you must do for yourself? Or something you share? or maybe you practise other ideals of compassion? Maybe you carry some communally made self-hate too? How do you sustain yourself when overwhelmed?

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yuurisolympicgold · 7 years

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Yuuri Week 2017, Day 4: On Ice Title: Blades of a Ballet Dancer Characters: Katsuki Yuuri, Victor Nikiforov, Minami Kenjirou. Pairing: Yuuri/Victor. Genres/Tags: Romance, Friendship, Fluff, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon. Ratings/Warnings: G/None. Summary: When word gets out that Yuuri helped create his record breaking routine Yuri On Ice, the world wants to know if he thinks he could do solo work. Yuuri says no, everyone else disagrees. Obviously, everyone else is a traitor. *Side note: the reference to the “Woody costume” is of course inspired by a baby Yuzuru Hanyu.

Yuuri couldn’t believe it when he read the headline Phichit forwarded, followed by an obnoxious string of dancing emojis. Or maybe that was just his mood after reading the joke in print on his phone screen. Him? Choreograph? He’d never even choreographed one of his own routines fully and they thought he could do it professionally?!

Yuuri decided it must be a slow news day in the skating world.

“I don’t see why you’re so hesitant,” Phichit said later on video chat. “Remember the improvised pair skates we sometimes did in Detroit before Ciao-Ciao yelled at us to stop goofing off? Those were pretty good! They wouldn’t break a world record, but maybe with some polishing they could have.”

Yuuri wasn’t upset per say, but it brought up a lot of things.

If Yuuri was honest with himself, before Victor he’d always wanted more creative input. It wasn’t that he’d disliked Celestino’s choices, but it felt like he lacked a personal connection with some of his past programs. He would increase the difficulty of his step sequences and change up some of the spirals when he felt he could do more, but that had been the most he could bring himself to ask of his former coach. He blamed it on his own inability to ask for things back then. Victor had other ideas.

“Sounds like you trained in a very creatively stifling environment,” Victor later stated plainly when Yuuri brought up his past experience and why he was so reticent about considering choreography.

“It wasn’t like that,” Yuuri insisted. Celestino was an amazing coach. One look at Phichit’s success was proof of that. He had always been kind, but Yuuri knew he lacked a connection with him. His anxiety for one was something Celestino never did understand during the years they worked together, but he’d understood Yuuri’s need for solitude. “I think we just lacked a degree of...compatibility.”

Seeing that headline now brought those old feelings to the surface. Victor being his coach and choreographer was so much different. Save for a few pitfalls in the beginning, it was almost surreal how well they worked together. He’d never had that much creative control and was constantly surprised whenever Victor asked him what he wanted; from the music to the technical aspects. Victor never made a decision without his input. Victor had asked for his opinion on every part of the composition of his free skate.

That was part of the reason why Yuri On Ice meant the world to him. It was his love letter to skating, his own career and to everyone who supported him. It was him learning to appreciate himself more. It was something he’d created together with Victor. Yuri On Ice had been the first time he’d felt comfortable expressing his complete self on the ice.

He had always wanted a hand in choreographing his own routines. Now he had someone who listened, even when he couldn’t always speak his mind. But the idea of doing it on his own? Anything he’d ever come up with while warming up or burning off stress outside of compulsive figures looked more like a dance he’d practice in Minako’s studio. That was his background, his true forte...

“Personally,” Victor cut into his train of thought. “I think there’s a lot of skaters out there who’d like a Yuuri Katsuki caliber step sequence for themselves. In fact,” Here he scrutinizes Yuuri with a finger pressed to his lips and actually looked excited at the prospect. “I wouldn’t mind one myself!”

Yuuri sputters but can’t deny how breathtakingly touched Victor’s praise made him feel.

Even though Yuuri had made the conscious effort not to discuss either the article or whether it was something he wished to pursue with anyone besides Victor and Phichit, who both already knew, news apparently traveled fast.

“YUURI-KUN.” Yuuri still winced. He’d almost forgotten that Minami was also performing at this ice show.

Since they’d competed together at World Team Trophy and won, narrowly edging out Yurio, Georgi Popovich and the rest of Team Russia, he’d come to appreciate Minami’s presence. He had mellowed a bit. Just enough that Yuuri didn't feel like slipping out the nearest fire exit whenever the honey blond ball of energy was nearby. His enthusiasm was not as overbearing as it had been and instead was just the right amount of grounding during the competition.

The teenager in question dropped his duffel bag and raced over to where Yuuri was leaning against the boards and hopped up next to him.

“I heard you’re choreographing now!” He exclaimed, swinging his legs excitedly.

“‘Now’?” Yuuri questioned. “Wait. How did you know about that?” He asked instead. The skating website it came from was fairly marginal. Certainly it wasn’t part of mainstream sports news.

“Everyone knows about that,” Minami answered cryptically. “Your entire fan club knows and they want answers!”

Yuuri chose not to acknowledge the idea that such a ‘fan club’ even existed.

“It’s nothing I’ve decided on,” Yuuri answered honestly and then shrugged. “Even after I moved up to Seniors I always at least had help with my exhibitions. My former coach had fairly exclusive creative control over my other programs.”

“But it’s something you’re considering?” Minami asked, a twinkle in his eye. “Because that would be really cool! I bet a lot of people would love to have a program choreographed by the Katsuki Yuuri!” He said dreamily.

“I sincerely doubt that,” Yuuri said dubiously. “My resume on that front is nil, remember?”

“That’s even more reason for you to try it out for yourself, and then—” He went sparkly-eyed as he was hit with an epiphany. “Then next season you can choreograph my short program!”

“W-wait. What? How did you get on that? I haven’t even made a decision about my own programs yet!”

Minami wasn’t listening. He stared at him beseechingly and starry-eyed, his body vibrating so much in excitement he was shaking the boards Yuuri was leaned against.

Yuuri just sighed.

Choreographing was an entirely different scope. It needed a comprehensive understanding of scale and tempo, pacing and required elements. Performing it was one thing, but actually creating something on his own...

“Need I remind you that you picked the Woody costume and theme after you saw Toy Story the first time? You were 8,” Yuuko teased and then winked at him. “I think you’d be good at it. You are known for your musicality, Yuu-kun!”

Yuuri should’ve known confiding in his friends would only lead to more conflicting thoughts. He couldn’t believe he was actually considering this.

“You know the program requirements. Anything you don’t already know you can learn,” Minako insisted. “Everyone has to learn something at some point. No one is born with a built-in encyclopedia of the ISO judging system. Not even Victor Nikiforov quad flip’d out of the womb with a stack of already made choreographies, you know.”

“Minako-sensei...” Yuuri groaned.

One thing was clear, everyone wanted to see him suffer.

The more Yuuri thought about it the more he realized he already knew the answer. Only one thing still held him back from fully embracing the idea. To him, it wasn’t simply the idea of choreographing that filled him with trepidation, it was the same reason why Yuri On Ice meant so much to him.

The next time he went with Victor to practice, he was ready to share why.

“Do you really think I can do it?” Yuuri asked.

“Have I ever been dishonest with you? Of course I do,” Victor didn’t need clarification and replied without hesitation. He then stayed quiet, sensing Yuuri had more to say.

Yuuri worried his bottom lip, unsure how to word what he was feeling. He felt more relaxed as Victor started rubbing between his shoulder blades. He exhaled.

“The thing is, Victor,” Yuuri began. “It’s not that I think I can’t do it. What you and everyone else said, I know you’re right. But... what makes my routines so special is the fact that I get to make them with you. One of my favorite memories from last summer is the time we spent pouring over them together. I love your input and your creative flare. There’s no one better than you. I'm just worried that if I did it myself it wouldn’t mean as much to me...”

Victor hadn’t yet said anything and Yuuri tilted his head back to look at him. He startled at the tears building in his fiance’s eyes.

“W-Wait! Don’t cry! Oh my god, here—”

“I’m not. I’m just...you say the most wonderful things when I’m not at all prepared,” Victor sighed, brushing off his concern. “Yuuri, this isn’t an all or nothing arrangement. We can trade off, or work together. So please don’t worry about that.”

Yuuri stopped fretting as sudden pressure wrapped around his back and pulled him forward.

“Yuuri,” Victor said fondly, propping his chin on Yuuri’s shoulder. “I know you can do it. And anything you’re unsure of I can help you with. No one wants you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. If you try it and don’t like it that’s perfectly acceptable, okay?” Yuuri nodded hesitantly. “But if it’s because you think you can’t then I’ll have to disagree. I didn’t choreograph Yuri on Ice by myself. That was your story. It required your input. I only helped flesh it out.”

“There’s always more stories to tell, aren’t there?” Yuuri asked quietly. He still couldn’t believe he was considering this. What Victor said was true though. Choreography couldn’t exist without a story, the emotional element and personal touch were necessities. That’s what he’d been missing while he’d worked with Celestino.

Victor hummed in his ear and placed a kiss on his neck. “I want to hear them too. You’ve been quiet long enough, so how about this? After you warm up try coming up with some sequences on your own. I always worked on multiple routines at the same time, even if I never used them.”

Yuuri nodded again and pulled away. He slipped off his hard guards and stepped onto the ice as he mulled over Victor’s advice. He could always count on Victor to give him something to think about. This time he grabbed his MP3 player as accompaniment; something he typically did while burning off anxious energy at Minako’s studio. He flipped over to a playlist he had of potential music he was considering skating to and set it to shuffle to a random song.

The familiar scrape of steel against ice helped clear his head as he let his thoughts drift away along with the music playing in his ears. When he practiced ballet he rarely had a specific routine he danced to. Unless Minako was overseeing his training session he tended to just let his body do whatever felt right.

Usually he’d be envisioning various pivots, transitions, where to fit a grand jeté, whatever most fit the musical score and his interpretation. Applying it to the ice didn’t feel much different. He turned and shifted his weight to the outside edge, the steps always came easiest to him. As the tempo slowed he imagined what would be a good place to add a biellmann spiral. Perhaps a hydroblade. He’d always wanted to incorporate one of those. Then maybe a triple axel—no, a combination would simply fit better...

The sound of sprayed ice filled the air as he stopped short. He ran a palm down his face in dismay. Damn it...that actually wasn’t too bad.

Yuuri knew he’d reached at least a partial decision and from the knowing and proud look on Victor’s face, he did too.

“Don’t stop now, Yuuri,” Victor practically purred to him, eyes never leaving his form. “That was just starting to feel really good.”

Lord help me, Yuuri thought with a blush.

The next time he saw Minami he tentatively agreed to his request, but not until next season. Then had to plug his ears at the ensuing screech and whoop of joy. Yuuri flailed then froze in place as the teen also latched himself around his torso and arms in a bear hug. Some things never changed.

#yuuriweek #day: 4 #theme: on ice #theme: practice #katsuki yuuri #yuuri katsuki #queue #fic

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ebenpink · 6 years

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Evidence-based coaching: Why some health and fitness pros are doing it all wrong. https://ift.tt/2NS8g3O

Ask any health and fitness professional if they’re “evidence based,” and chances are good you’ll get a resounding, “Yes!” Perhaps even an indignant one. After all, everyone uses evidence… of some sort. But if you think evidence-based practice is only about what “research says,” you’re doing it wrong. In this article, we’ll show you the right way to use evidence to inform and enhance your coaching—and drive better client results.

++++

Here at Precision Nutrition, we love science.

In fact, no one loves science more than us!

But is it possible to rely too heavily on scientific literature? Can you actually science too much?

Maybe.

Ever see someone:

Dismiss a coach’s successful method solely because some element of it isn’t “research proven?”

Refuse to modify a nutrition plan—even though a client hates it—“because science?”

Call a respected health professional a “quack” because they cite years of clinical experience instead of a definitive clinical trial?

(If you haven’t, you probably don’t spend much time in Facebook comments.)

In each case, the person’s inflated reverence for research could be limiting their ability to learn, and evolve as a coach. They might also influence others to follow their narrow line of thinking, causing them to miss out, too. And this is often done in the name of “evidenced based practice.”

Now, evidence-based practice, or EBP, is all the rage in certain health and fitness circles, which is a great thing. We heart science, remember? Except there’s just one problem…

A lot of coaches, though well-meaning, are getting EBP wrong. Specifically, they’re over-emphasizing “what the research says” to the exclusion of other relevant information, like their professional experience and the personal preferences and values of the people they work with.

And that’s not good for clients, business, or the health and fitness industry.

To make sure you get EBP right, use this guide to understand what the method really is, why it matters, and how to implement it effectively in your own coaching practice.

Because when used correctly, EBP is a powerful tool that’ll make you a better coach—so you can help even more people achieve lasting change and deep health.

And that we love even more than science.

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What is “evidence”?

There’s “everyday life” evidence.

In our Precision Nutrition Coaching program and Certifications, we tell our clients and coaches to use outcome-based decision making (OBDM).

Very simply, that means you decide what to do next based on the data you got from what you just did.

Did your waist measurement go up after two weeks of vacation buffets? That’s data that says, “Welcome home, maybe dial it back a little.”

Did your blood pressure go down after four months of sticking to your exercise program? That’s data that says, “Keep up the good work!”

We tell our coaches and clients to use as many data points as they can, and look for progress everywhere, including:

body measurements

blood work and other medical tests

athletic performance, such as getting stronger or faster

photos

how clothes fit

recovery

sleep

mood and wellbeing

confidence

consistency

And so on. (Here are some more ideas.)

All of these data points, collectively, give us evidence that we can use to make informed choices.

Then there’s scientific evidence.

This includes clinical or case studies, experimental research, basic research (for instance, studying cells in culture), and more.

This evidence can vary widely in quality, who is studied, and how applicable the results are to you and your clients.

However, in general, scientific evidence is one of the best ways we have to know about the nature of reality.

And though it might be obvious, we’re compelled to say it anyway: You’re looking to glean these insights directly from reputable, peer-reviewed scientific papers—not random websites, articles in magazines, or pictures of sunsets with words on them.

Finally, there’s stuff you learn on the job.

We call this “expertise.” It’s the old coach’s intuition, the senior clinician’s knack for diagnosis, the way a master carpenter can tell you if something is a quarter inch off square just by looking.

After you’ve worked with over 100,000 clients, as we have, you start to build a database of collected wisdom. And often, there’s stuff that’s hard to explain or defend—you’ve just seen it enough times that you know it’s a thing.

When we bring together experience, research, and expertise, we have a pretty good set of working hypotheses about what is likely to be effective.

And that’s evidenced-based practice. So it’s not just about clinical research.

EBP is a systematic way of thinking and application that integrates scientific data with clinical experience and the individual needs and preferences of each client or patient.

Yes, that’s the official, eye-glazing definition, but you might find the Instagram-able version even more enlightening. (See the illustration below.)

All three parts are equally important.

That’s because:

1. You aren’t coaching research averages. You’re coaching people.

Most studies report the average results of an intervention. (This is especially true of their headlines.)

Yet, if we look at the actual data of most studies, we see that individual results tend to fall on a bell curve of some sort.

Take this example, noted by James Krieger and Bret Contreras.

A study on resistance training and muscle gain concluded the following:

“Previously untrained people who engaged in resistance training three times a week for 9 weeks increased their muscle mass by 6%.”

Based on that, you might expect a client to achieve similar results on your three-day-a-week program.

But if you look at the individual data within the study, muscle growth ranged from -2.5 to 20 percent. That’s right: minus 2.5 percent. As Krieger and Contreras point out, five of the 53 participants actually lost muscle!

That’s not to suggest the research results are misleading. In fact, most of the study participants experienced muscle mass gains between 5 and 10 percent, and some even more. However, it does show the overall findings may not to apply to every individual. So don’t expect them to.

Another example is broccoli. There’s a significant body of evidence supporting the health benefits of eating this nutrient-dense vegetable.

But if broccoli makes someone gaggy or gassy, it’s not the healthiest food for them, no matter what the research says about it lowering disease risk.

These kinds of patterns happen over and over: Some people get great results from applying the research, some get very little (or negative) results, and most get results somewhere in between.

This is reality.

Research can be incredibly useful for giving us a starting point for most people. But humans differ—often wildly—from one another.

They differ in terms of their habits, mindset, physiology, environment, and personal preferences. They also differ in their ability to follow a program in the first place. And even if they stick to a plan perfectly, they can differ in the results they get.

Coach for the unique human in front of you, not for an average.

Not only will this improve your client results (because you’ll be working with their particular, practical reality), it’ll also improve your client retention (because you’ll be actually listening to them and trying to understand them as individual people, not as data sets).

When a client is suffering, they probably don’t need you to search PubMed for more evidence.

They often need you to provide a solid, trusting coaching relationship and, of course, your coaching skills. This combination can help you ease client resistance, be creative and flexible when typical solutions don’t work, and be compassionate and supportive when a client struggles with dark stuff.

2. Your professional experience really matters.

If you’re a mindful, growth-oriented coach or practitioner, it’s impossible not to develop a certain degree of experience and expertise over time.

A lot of things go into your “expertise bucket”: courses and programs you’ve taken; books you’ve read; lectures you’ve attended; mentoring relationships you’ve had; and all the practical experience you’ve acquired from observing and coaching clients or patients.

The accumulation of knowledge and experience gives you a kind of “intuition” that can help you coach more effectively.

This “intuition” shows up when you see a client perform a wonky squat, quickly identify exactly what’s wrong, and make corrections to improve form.

It shows up when you perform a client intake, and based on their answers (Just had a baby! Prone to perfectionism!), you can anticipate what aspects of a program they might struggle with, and how you might help them.

Or it shows up when you do a postural assessment, and immediately know which exercises to avoid and which could be helpful.

Much of the time, this is knowledge you could have never learned simply from reading studies. It requires time working with people, and exposing yourself to new ideas and methods, including those that have yet to be studied.

But there’s a challenge here, too. The knowledge we gather from our experiences is very prone to human error: Our memories are unreliable, we see patterns that may not actually exist, and we discount information that doesn’t conform to what we already believe.

How can we reduce human error?

First, be aware that bias and error exist… yes, even for you.

Take notes during or after client sessions, and use a variety of validated measurement tools—such as weight, body measurements, pictures, mood scales, and sleep quality scales—to track the effectiveness of your advice.

Get mentorship and feedback on your practice. Coaches need coaches. Or, find a like-minded group of professionals with whom to collaborate. (That’s why we developed the Precision Nutrition Level 2 Certification.)

If you’re aware of the errors you’re likely to make, and take steps to moderate them, you might start to see some reliable, overarching patterns.

Like that very rigid meal plans don’t work for people in the long term. Or that people can only train so long and so hard before they burn out.

Or a thousand other possibilities experienced coaches notice, but perhaps haven’t been fully validated by published research.

If you’re just starting out and don’t have the experience gained from coaching many people over many years, you can “borrow” insight from mentors or other coaches with more reps under their belt.

Drawing on the wisdom of your (or a colleague’s) accumulated experience is an essential part of being a good practitioner.

3. Science will never have it all figured out.

The evidence is always evolving. Nutrition research in particular is a relatively new area, and there’s still a lot to be learned.

Plus, some things are really hard (or downright unethical) to test in a research setting, and so we may never have scientific evidence on it.

Even if it is possible to test, quality research takes a long time to gather. Usually, one study isn’t enough to “prove” something true or false. But waiting for multiple studies on a specific topic, or better yet, a meta-analyses (which is kind of like a poll of the research) may require a lot of patience. Maybe decades.

And yet, we still have to help our clients and patients make informed decisions. Like, now.

That’s where evidence-based practice comes in.

The RIGHT way to use EBP.

You can formally apply the EBP process to coaching decisions that feel especially important or uncertain.

EBP offers one of the best tools to help you reach a decision that’s most likely to be safe and effective, and that’ll also make sense in the context of your client’s life.

Follow these 6 steps to see EBP in action.

1. Assess the client.

Identify their unique abilities and needs.

What are their strengths?

Where might they need help from you?

What are their precise goals?

What are their identities, values, and beliefs?

Gather this information by asking questions, using intake forms, and taking measurements. This’ll help you create an initial plan of action and also provide a baseline against which to gauge progress.

Plus, as you collect data on many clients, you’ll be accruing practical evidence that can aid with decision making in the future.

Let’s use a hypothetical client to apply these steps.

Her name is Nora. Her goal is to lose fat, and she’s also interested in intermittent fasting. Through your initial assessment you learn that she’s begun to show signs of perimenopause, and her sleep isn’t great these days.

2. Find your research question.

Before you jump to a solution, get clear on the problem you’re trying to help your client with.

Then, turn the problem into a question that’ll help you isolate the evidence you need for your recommendations. This question should incorporate the problem, as well as relevant factors about your client or patient.

Nora’s main goal is to lose fat, and she’s curious about intermittent fasting. Important factors to consider: Nora is a woman and she’s perimenopausal.

But you’re not sure if intermittent fasting is safe (or effective) for losing fat. And you’re definitely not sure if it’s safe (or effective) for a perimenopausal woman.

So your research question might be: “Is intermittent fasting safe and effective for fat loss in perimenopausal women?”

3. Gather the evidence.

Search for info using an online database like PubMed or Google Scholar. (If you don’t know how to use online research databases, here’s a PubMed tutorial.)

Using a research database will curate your hits so you’re only getting original, peer-reviewed research, rather than someone else’s (potentially biased) interpretation of it.

To find relevant research for Nora, a good keyword combination to type in a search box could be “intermittent fasting + fat loss + menopause”. These keywords contain the intervention you’re interested in learning more about, plus information about Nora’s unique goals and life stage.

To identify the best available scientific evidence on the research subject, use the “Hierarchy of Evidence” pyramid below. The higher up on the pyramid, the more trustworthy the information. So start your search from the top down.

In the case of Nora, prioritize finding a position stand, a meta-analysis, or a systematic review on using intermittent fasting for fat loss in menopausal women. This will give you a comprehensive overview of the current evidence. Basically, scientists and/or academics have already done the hard work—of reviewing, comparing, and analyzing the available scientific evidence—for you.

If that doesn’t exist, look for randomized control trials that compare appropriately chosen groups of people with a control group (such as a group that received no intervention, or a different intervention).

No luck there? You can expand your search to just “women” rather than “menopausal women.” Depending on what’s available, you may have to continue broadening your search and moving down the hierarchy of evidence.

Now, if you’re not well-versed in reading studies or interpreting research, that’s okay. Chances are, if you don’t find a meta-analysis or review, or—best of all—a position stand, the research further down the pyramid will be of limited use to you anyway.

If that’s the case—or you can’t find any scientific research on the topic—you might have to use opinions from other trusted experts, or develop an educated hypothesis based on your own knowledge of how physiology and nutrition work. This still counts as evidence, it’s just not as reliable, so temper your confidence in it accordingly.

All hail the position stand.

If you don’t feel equipped to navigate and interpret scientific literature, consider looking for best practice guidelines or position stands written by an authority in your field.

Position stands are official statements made by a governing body on topics related to a particular field, like nutrition, exercise physiology, dietetics, or medicine.

Here’s an example: The 2017 International Society of Sports Nutrition Position Stand on protein and exercise.

If you have a client who’s older and you’re wondering how to safely increase their training capacity (but don’t want to immerse yourself in a dark hole of research), simply look for the position stand on exercise and older adults.

To find the position stands in your field, consult the website of whatever governing body you belong to.

For example, if you’re a personal trainer certified through ACSM, NASM, ACE, or NSCA, consult the respective website for each organization. They should feature position stands on a variety of topics.

4. Appraise the evidence.

Through your search, you’ll probably find at least some evidence. This might be just a few small studies or some articles from trusted experts in the field.

Now, using the hierarchy of evidence, determine how valid and reliable those pieces of evidence are.

The more you have to broaden your question or move down the quality hierarchy, the less confident you might be about your recommendations.

With Nora, if all you find are some articles by an internet guru who’s never actually seen any real clients, you may want to present your findings as a mere idea, rather than as reliable advice.

On the other hand, if you find a handful of systematic reviews about intermittent fasting in menopausal women, you can go to Nora with more confidence about your recommendations. (Quick fact check, FYI: We couldn’t find any reputable systematic reviews on intermittent fasting in menopausal women.)

5. Create your recommendation.

Unless they ask for it, most clients don’t want to know all the complicated science stuff; they just want to know what to do.

This is where the science of coaching morphs into the art of coaching.

It’s time to see if you can actually apply the evidence you’ve found—along with your own professional experience—to the complex, real, live human standing in front of you.

Notice that the evidence by itself doesn’t make the decision. Nor does your experience, nor do the client’s preferences.

The three simply offer a more holistic perspective on a problem, to ensure you find the best possible solution for your client.

Rather than plunking down a stack of research in front of your client, combine the research with your expertise and your client’s unique circumstances to translate it into practical advice.

It could work like this: Through your research, you find that intermittent fasting is effective for fat loss. However, through your own professional experience, you’ve also noticed that most clients struggle to stick with intermittent fasting long-term. (Aligning nicely with your coaching experience, the research also shows a relatively high drop-out rate with intermittent fasting.)

You’ve also noticed that in some of your female clients, intermittent fasting seems to deregulate menstrual cycles and exacerbate menopausal symptoms.

Thinking about Nora’s unique values and preferences, you know that she wants to lose weight, but you also know that she’s had some trouble sleeping lately. In your experience with other clients, people who are sleep-deprived have an extra-hard time regulating appetite and losing weight.

So… intermittent fasting seems to be effective, but combined with your concerns about Nora’s hormonal health and sleep quality, plus the fact that intermittent fasting can be hard to maintain, you may decide not to recommend it to Nora.

After explaining to her your reasoning, explore with her what she’s comfortable trying. In the end, you may suggest some simple nutrition habits along with some short fasting experiments, plus some sleep tips.

These recommendations include what you’ve found from the best available research, your own coaching experience, and Nora’s unique preferences, goals, and challenges.

Nora’s just gotten some pretty wise, tailored-to-her advice, where you worked as collaborators to come up with her action plan.

That’s the art and science of coaching.

6. Monitor the results.

Once you’ve given your client a little time to practice what you came up with together, you can assess if those actions are working.

Consult those measurements you took in your initial assessments. Compare them to current measurements.

Are things moving in the right direction?

And talk to your client about how the plan is working.

Nora tells you although she’s applying and benefitting from the sleep tips, she’s struggling with fasting, even the shorter experiments. Turns out, it’s hard to fast when you’re having trouble falling asleep because of a grumbling tummy.

As you monitor progress, use what you find to re-evaluate goals and pinpoint where your client or patient needs more support.

Now Nora’s asking you about trying the Paleo diet instead. Looks like you have more research to do.

But keep in mind, over time, you’ll develop a solid grasp of the body of evidence on a number of topics. That’s the good part about science moving slowly: It’s not that hard to keep up.

What to do next.

Be empathetic, supportive, and flexible.

No matter what you believe is “right” or “true,” your first job is to work with your client, wherever they’re at.

Many practitioners intuitively know this, but the bond between coach and client (or patient) is extremely important and influential.

This bond is called the “therapeutic alliance,” and it refers to the level of trust and rapport between a practitioner and the person they’re helping.

Change is hard, and often scary. A strong therapeutic alliance can help a person feel supported and understood while surfing the tides of change.

In fact, some studies show the results a client or patient achieves in your care are up to 85 percent dependent on the therapeutic alliance. So, the stronger that relationship, the better the results.

If you’re constantly butting heads with your client, telling them, “But the research says!” or, “I know best!”, you can wave goodbye to a strong therapeutic alliance.

Many of the obstacles your clients will face are behavioral and emotional, rather than rational and theory-based. So more than facts, your clients often need compassion, support, and creativity to get them through the tough stuff.

Focus on the big rocks.

Given how complicated bodies and behavioral change are, it’s not surprising that science is still “trying to figure things out.”

Rather than using “cutting-edge” protocols like intermittent fasting or precise macronutrient ratios (which should really only be for more advanced clients anyway), focus on “big rocks” that offer the most bang for buck, like:

eating enough protein and vegetables

moving regularly

getting adequate sleep

managing stress

reducing smoking and/or excessive alcohol consumption

If that sounds boring or too obvious, we ask you this: How many people do you know who are consistently doing all five well? (In case you’re curious, it’s only about three to five percent of the population.)

Just managing those five things will keep most people plenty busy.

Be humble, throw out the rules, and keep learning.

The smartest people are often the ones who are most comfortable asking questions, saying “I don’t know,” and resting in uncertainty.

It’s a cliche but true: The more you know about something, the more you realize what you don’t know.

Be wary when others claim absolute certainty. It may be they don’t fully understand the complexity of the matter.

True expertise is about being comfortable with limited knowledge—while continuing to seek more and better information—and also accepting we may never have complete certainty.

Experiment wisely, and learn from both successes and failures.

Want to see how a theory works in practice? Test it out on yourself, and measure your experience as objectively as possible.

With clients, so long as there is no risk of harm, try out well-informed experiments (with their permission) that are either based on research or expert theory. Then, as always, track and measure their experiences and results to inform your next steps.

Know what you don’t know and work with other experts as needed.

Especially if you’re a beginner in your practice, it’s okay not to know stuff.

Focus on what you know best, whether that’s good lifting form, coming up with healthy meal ideas, or giving support during sticky coaching situations. But also know that some things will be out of your scope of practice.

So build a strong professional network—which could include family doctors, dietitians, massage therapists, naturopaths, chiropractors, and psychotherapists—and refer out whenever you encounter something you feel uncomfortable or especially inexperienced with.

Establishing a deep roster of experts will help clients get the support they need. And we’re pretty sure the evidence will show that’s good for everyone.

If you’re a coach, or you want to be…

Learning how to coach clients, patients, friends, or family members through healthy eating and lifestyle changes—in way that’s evidenced based and personalized for each individual’s lifestyle and preferences—is both an art and a science.

If you’d like to learn more about both, consider the Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification. The next group kicks off shortly.

What’s it all about?

The Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification is the world’s most respected nutrition education program. It gives you the knowledge, systems, and tools you need to really understand how food influences a person’s health and fitness. Plus the ability to turn that knowledge into a thriving coaching practice.

Developed over 15 years, and proven with over 100,000 clients and patients, the Level 1 curriculum stands alone as the authority on the science of nutrition and the art of coaching.

Whether you’re already mid-career, or just starting out, the Level 1 Certification is your springboard to a deeper understanding of nutrition, the authority to coach it, and the ability to turn what you know into results.

[Of course, if you’re already a student or graduate of the Level 1 Certification, check out our Level 2 Certification Master Class. It’s an exclusive, year-long mentorship designed for elite professionals looking to master the art of coaching and be part of the top 1% of health and fitness coaches in the world.]

Interested? Add your name to the presale list. You’ll save up to 33% and secure your spot 24 hours before everyone else.

We’ll be opening up spots in our next Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification on Wednesday, April 3rd, 2019.

If you want to find out more, we’ve set up the following presale list, which gives you two advantages.

Pay less than everyone else. We like to reward people who are eager to boost their credentials and are ready to commit to getting the education they need. So we’re offering a discount of up to 33% off the general price when you sign up for the presale list.

Sign up 24 hours before the general public and increase your chances of getting a spot. We only open the certification program twice per year. Due to high demand, spots in the program are limited and have historically sold out in a matter of hours. But when you sign up for the presale list, we’ll give you the opportunity to register a full 24 hours before anyone else.

If you’re ready for a deeper understanding of nutrition, the authority to coach it, and the ability to turn what you know into results… this is your chance to see what the world’s top professional nutrition coaching system can do for you.

References

Click here to view the information sources referenced in this article.

Balachandran, A. & Schoenfeld, B. (2017, March 2) Evidence-based practice in Exercise and Nutrition: Common Misconceptions and Criticisms. Retrieved from https://www.lookgreatnaked.com/blog/evidence-based-practice-in-exercise-and-nutrition-common-misconceptions-and-criticisms/

Baldwin, S.A., Wampold, B.E., & Imel, Z E. (2007). Untangling the alliance-outcome correlation: Exploring the relative importance of therapist and patient variability in the alliance. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 75(6), 842–852.

Cabaniss, D. L. (2012, May 31) The Therapeutic Alliance: The Essential Ingredient for Psychotherapy. Retrieved from https://www.huffpost.com/entry/therapeutic-alliance_b_1554007?fbclid=IwAR1NDl7sNR60OSvNFWmpTUA-GqAV65fMtxsOrOFAQ9fLM5Z5eQlcRR4APbU

Duke University. (2018). Introduction to Evidence-Based Practice. Retrieved from https://guides.mclibrary.duke.edu/ebmtutorial/home

Erskine, R.M., Jones, D.A., Williams, A.G., Stewart, C.E. & Degens, H. (2010) Inter-individual variability in the adaptation of human muscle specific tension to progressive resistance training. European Journal of Applied Physiology, 110(6), 1117-25.

Evidence-Based Medicine Working Group. (1992) Evidence-Based Medicine: A New Approach to Teaching the Practice of Medicine. Journal of the American Medical Association, 268(17), 2420-5.

Frances, A.J. (2013, June 24) What Should Doctors Do When They Don’t Know What to Do? Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/saving-normal/201306/what-should-doctors-do-when-they-dont-know-what-do?fbclid=IwAR3ce99uT-RDXcp_yvnJ0r2aTfBPWPpngqNUvkIc5a6PBZkyr5d-Z8sgy2Y

Joyce, A.S. & Piper, W.E. (1998) Expectancy, the Therapeutic Alliance, and Treatment Outcome in Short-Term Individual Psychotherapy. The Journal of Psychotherapy Practice and Research, 7(3), 236–248.

Löfgren, K. [Kent Löfgren]. (2013, February 25). What is epistemology? Introduction to the word and the concept [Video File]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lI9-YgSzsEQ

Ludwig, J. (2018, April 16) Here’s what is going wrong with ‘evidence-based’ policies and practices in schools in Australia. Retrieved from https://www.aare.edu.au/blog/?p=2822

Schoenfeld, B.J., Contreras, B, Krieger, J., Grgic, J., Delcastillo, K., Belliard, R. & Alto, A. (2019) Resistance Training Volume Enhances Muscle Hypertrophy but Not Strength in Trained Men. Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise, 51(1), 94-103.

Wampold, B. E. (2001). The great psychotherapy debate:Models, methods, and findings. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum. NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.

Evidence-Based Medicine Toolbox. (2017) Retrieved from https://ebm-tools.knowledgetranslation.net/

Evidence-based practice. (2018, November 19) Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evidence-based_practice?fbclid=IwAR3ARk06zmx_lJYPIrTGA_chfBa9v_-NsW7HQbC7-rTHaq-Y7AYcSdLAk80

The well-built clinical question: a key to evidence-based decisions. (1995). Retrieved from https://mclibrary.duke.edu/sites/mclibrary.duke.edu/files/public/guides/richardson.pdf

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Evidence-based coaching: Why some health and fitness pros are doing it all wrong.

Ask any health and fitness professional if they’re “evidence based,” and chances are good you’ll get a resounding, “Yes!” Perhaps even an indignant one. After all, everyone uses evidence… of some sort. But if you think evidence-based practice is only what “research says,” you’re doing it wrong. In this article, we’ll show you the right way to use evidence to inform and enhance your coaching—for more effective advice and better client results.