#maybe they bring her coke and mcdonalds and she starts liking them better

[jenohi]

stranger

PAIRING ▸ Watanabe Haruto x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ pining, high school au, lacrosse au, I’m not really sure what genre this is lol

WARNINGS ▸ traumatic events?

SUMMARY ▸ When Haruto moves halfway around the world the last person he expects to see is you. His former nemesis...or so he thinks.

PLAYLIST ▸ Still Don’t Know My Name by Labyrinth

WORD COUNT ▸ 9626

UNIVERSE ▸ YG High; Treasure Lacrosse Team

A/N ▸ I’ve decided from here on out all my stories will probably fall within the same universe. I only really have like 4 universes in mind so I’ll label them just so you know. Also, I’m looking to add some art to my stories to bring them more to life but I am useless at graphics/edits, so! If you��re really into making graphics/edits and you enjoy my work please please PLEASE reach out to me!!! I would love to work with an amazing artist! <3 <3 Plz enjoy.

A/N 2 ▸ This story is like a lot of crossover with Jeongwoo’s story but I hope I was able to bring justice to Haruto’s character and bring his story to life. :P ok now enjoy for real realz.

You were the prettiest girl Haruto had ever known in his life. But to him, you were also his rival. You always managed to score just a few points higher than him on each exam, each quiz, each assignment. To him it always felt like the teachers liked you more, so he made sure your classmates liked him more. The thing that made him really mad was that you were so unbothered. You were ambivalent to him and you didn’t even know his name. If you really were strangers and never sat in the same class he could understand. But you had been in the same classes for years. Each time you spoke to him, you politely asked for his name. As if you were strangers.

When his parents told him that his family was going to move to another city, far enough that he would have to transfer schools, he had mixed feelings. This was his last chance to confront you. To understand why you’d never bothered to remember his name, but each time he approached you he found you furiously scribbling in a notebook. Although he resented you for not knowing his name, he could never get himself to disturb you when you looked so stressed scribbling whatever it was in your notebook.

What Haruto didn’t know is that you did notice him. You noticed the handsome, tall, skinny boy that was always in the corner of your line of sight. But you had no idea what to say to him. So you never approached him. He was a stranger.

Haruto wished he could forget you. He was a bit uncomfortable transferring to a new school at first but thankfully, three other boys had transferred with him. Asahi, Mashiho, and Yoshi had become literal brothers to him. The school also had a transfer students program and he made a new friend, Hanbyul. She was a chatterbox and sometimes she could literally chat his ear off, but she was also sweet and helpful. But she wasn’t you.

But that didn’t matter because Hanbyul had another guy on her mind all the time anyway. “You know we’ve just been friends for such a long time and lately, I’ve started to...I don’t know. I feel different. Nervous. Is it normal to feel nervous around your best friend?”

“I don’t know. Is it?” Haruto responded.

“No, I suppose it isn’t. But he probably doesn’t feel the same way. I doubt he’s ever even thought about me in that way.”

Haruto felt someone nudge him, he turned to see that it was Asahi. Haruto leaned over to hear what he was going to say. “Is she talking about Jaehyuk’s brother?”

Haruto nodded.

“Jaehyuk talks about his little brother and this chick all the time. She’s so off the mark. The little brother definitely has feelings for her if Jaehyuk is anywhere near the mark.” So both parties had feelings for one another but both parties were too chicken to say anything to each other. And for no good reason.

In a way that reminded Haruto of himself and it pissed him off. He knew that spending so much time with his new friend would raise suspicions but he didn’t care. He knew that spending so much time with her pissed Jeongwoo off. It didn’t take a genius to recognize it when they went to the Big Bang Concert together.

Haruto thought he was going crazy when he spotted you a few spaces over at the concert. He rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times to make sure it was really you. Haruto stormed over to you once he decided that it was in fact you. He had spent months thinking about what to say to you if he ever saw you again, he wasn’t going to miss this opportunity. Haruto didn’t even think to tell his new friends where he had gone.

You saw a tall, handsome figure approaching your direction. You took a second to check him out, but then turned back to the performers and continued to enjoy yourself. Your parents were reluctant to let you go out to this concert on your own but it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that you wanted so badly. You smiled sadly at what might happen when you woke up tomorrow.

“I didn’t know you were a fan of Big Bang.” You heard a voice from behind speak into your ear. You jumped in surprise and turned around to see that it was the handsome stranger you saw sauntering your way earlier.

“Hi, what’s your name?” You asked with a polite smile on your face. This is probably exactly what your parents were worried about, creepy men that would try to approach you. You started to think about the best way to remove yourself from the situation safely. The now unamused expression on his face alarmed you.

“When are you gonna cut the shit. You know who I am.”

You looked at him puzzled. “I do? How? From where?”

Haruto felt something in his chest crack. “I used to go to school with you. You’re Y/N right?”

“Oh, yeah. That’s me.” You furiously racked your mind trying to remember what you had read but your memory came up blank. You couldn’t help but cringe and turn away. This is why you tried your best to keep to yourself and away from people. You looked up to see Haruto staring down at you with a curious expression. “I’m sorry I don’t remember you. You said you used to go to school with me? You don’t go to school with me anymore? Can I get your name again? I’m really sorry. I’ll try and remember.”

“My name is Haruto. I don’t go to school with you anymore. I transferred to a new school a few months ago.”

“Oh, I see.”

Haruto wasn’t sure how to feel when he realized you actually had zero recollection of him. For some reason seeing you up close and seeing you really trying to remember him made him feel a bit sympathetic. He couldn’t understand why. It still totally irked him that you didn’t know his name. But something told him to sit down with you and get to know you.

“Well, do you like your new school?” You asked, looking up at Haruto. Your heart was beating hard and fast. You prayed that your face wasn’t flushing.

“Why don’t we just enjoy the rest of the concert for now and we can grab a late night meal after the concert?” Haruto proposed. His own palms were sweaty and his heart was beating fast.

You thought about it for a second, then nodded and smiled. Haruto felt like the world had a glittery filter for a second. He’d always acknowledged that you were attractive, but up close smiling at him, you were drop dead gorgeous.

“Awesome.”

After the concert, the two of you walked side by side as you left the crowded venue. You noticed Haruto took a second to text someone on his phone. He caught you snooping and laughed as you turned away. “It’s fine. I was just letting the friends I came with know that I was gonna head out with you.”

“Oh, if you need to get back with them it’s fine.” You said, maybe hanging out with Haruto was a bad idea after all.

“Not a chance, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. I’m honestly curious to know how you are and how things are back home.”

Your face flushed at his words. You couldn’t remember the last time you had spent time with a guy like this. Was this a date?

“Alright. Then what are you in the mood for?” You asked, pulling up a list of restaurants that were still open at this hour.

“What’s available now? What are you in the mood for right now?” Haruto looked over your shoulder at the menu as he asked.

“Um, what about McDonald’s? I’m not that picky and there’s not that much open right now.” you said.

Haruto stared at you with wide eyes, were you always this cool? So the two of you made your way to the closest McDonald’s and debated which was better, Coke or Sprite. To Haruto, Coca-Cola was non-negotiable.

“How is your new school?” You asked Haruto, munching on a few of your fries. “Do you like it?”

“What are you doing here?” Haruto interjected.

“What do you mean?”

“We’re not in Japan. This is far from home. Why are you in America?”

“Oh, I’m uh- I’m visiting family. I’ve actually transferred to a school around here for the time-being as well.” You jumped in surprise when Haruto shrieked.

“You’re here now? Like for good? Like you go to school here? Where?”

You giggled at the questions he rained down on you. The way he asked you with his cheeks full and eyes wide was rather endearing. “Yes I’m here now. I’m actually, uh, home schooled for the time being.”

“Oh, interesting. Why are you homeschooled? I remember you were always really good at school.” Haruto said before he shoved another chicken nugget into his mouth. The irritating thought that you were always better than him at school, just by a little popped up in his mind but he pushed it away. That didn’t matter anymore. He had your attention now.

You felt your face flush. Even with your condition it was true that you maintained your good grades. So Haruto must have actually known you back in Japan. You eyed him again, when he caught you staring at him you turned away. Haruto smirked.

“Enough about me. Tell me about your friends. You said you came with friends from your new school right?”

“Well I’d say one of them is actually who I’d consider a friend. The other one is a mutual friend. A childhood friend that has feelings for her.”

“Her?” it slipped out of your mouth. Haruto’s smirk reappeared and his eyebrow jumped up when he looked at you. You looked away, what was this funny feeling in your chest? It was weird.

“Our school had this transfer student program and she just happened to be assigned to me. She’s really cool, I’m not into her like that and she’s not really into me like that. She likes her friend.”

“How do you know?”

“She told me.”

“Oh. That feels like something important. Like a secret.”

“Well, I told her a secret as well.”

You stared at him. He didn’t indulge in the secret. Haruto was wholly focused on sipping the last of his Coca-Cola before putting it down on the table and letting out a sigh.

“Well so what’s going on with them now?” You asked.

“Hopefully, they both pull their heads out of their asses tonight. I gave them time alone so the best case scenario is that they just talk it out. The dude, Jeongwoo, I actually met him for the first time tonight and he’s a cool dude. It would be nice to have more dude friends around here.”

“You don’t have any guy friends?”

“I do. There are 3 other transfer students from Japan and they’re all dudes and I’m friends with them. Actually, Americans like to play this sport. Lacrosse? My friend told me to try out for the team and I think I might. Mashi, Asahi, and Yoshi agreed to try-out as well so it’ll be fun.”

You nodded, you had no idea what lacrosse was and you didn’t think you would be that interested to learn either. “I should get home.”

“Right of course.” Haruto said, getting up. “Where are you headed? Let me call you an Uber.”

“No, it’s okay. I can actually walk back home from here.”

“Oh really? Well, at least let me walk you back.”

You hesitated for a second. Would it be smart to show this guy where you lived? But then you shook it off, he seemed pretty harmless throughout the night and you trusted that he knew you from school in Japan. So you agreed.

“Do you have to be home-schooled?” Haruto asked.

“No, I don’t think so.” you answered.

“Would you be interested in attending school in person again?” Haruto could feel the devil on his shoulder kicking him. What was he doing? He had already gone to school with you before and the fact that you always did just a smidge better than him drove him nuts.

“Um, I haven’t really thought about it. Why?”

“You should consider transferring to my school?”

Your eyebrows shot up. “What?”

Haruto stepped back a bit and raised his hands. “It was just a suggestion. Honestly, I struggled a bit when I first came here. I can’t imagine how lonely it must be to be here and just be home-schooled so I figured it might be nice to have some sense of community.”

“Um, I’ll think about it.” You weren’t going to think about it. You looked up and breathed a sigh of relief when you saw the familiar apartment complex. “This is me. You don’t have to walk in with me. I’m gonna go now.”

“Wait.” Haruto said. You turned around to look at him, a thin smile on your face. “I, uh, I had fun.”

“Yeah, this was nice.” You said truthfully.

“We should do it again sometime.” Haruto said. You stared at him, he looked perfectly composed to you. But his heart was practically beating so hard he thought it might fall out of his chest.

“Honestly, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

Haruto felt a heat and anger flare up in his chest. But he did his best to tamp it down and get it under control. This was literally the first time you had acknowledged his presence. He put a smile on his face. “Well, then maybe we’ll just run into each other again sometime.”

“Maybe, it’s all up to fate now. Good night Haruto.”

“Good night Y/N.”

The second you made it back into your room you pulled out your diary. You scribbled the notes you had logged into your phone throughout the day as quickly as possible. Briefly reliving each moment as you wrote them down. By the time you had gotten to the end of the list and began to recount the concert you could feel your eyelids getting heavier and heavier and your hands writing more and more frantically until suddenly, you crashed.

The next morning you woke up and read your notes. You squinted at the last thing you had written. Your handwriting became illegible near the end. ‘Haruto?’

The next morning Haruto woke up and smiled at the memory of you. Asahi and Mashiho eyed their roommate as he pranced around the living room and kitchen smiling and singing. But nothing could bring Haruto down. Well until he saw his friend looking depressed as hell.

“Dude what’s up?” Haruto asked. “Did you and Jeongwoo figure your shit out?”

“Uh, about that. Well, no.”

“No? What do you mean no?”

“Well what about you? Did you run into her?”

“Nuh uh, this isn’t about me. You literally had the perfect opportunity to make something of it. To make a moment! Did you guys have a moment?”

“Yes, I think we did. But I got scared. I don’t want to lose Jeongwoo as a friend, but at the same time I don’t think he has any feelings for me like that. I just, I think I need space. Maybe if I just distance myself from him a bit then I can get over my feelings and…”

“No offense, but that’s the stupidest thing I think I’ve ever heard in my life.”

“Well I don’t care if you think it’s stupid. This is my decision and my decision is that I don’t want to see Jeongwoo for awhile. Ok? I’m not ready for the conversation. So you better get used to seeing me more often!”

Haruto sighed as he watched his friend storm out of the room. He turned around and exchanged looks with Asahi. “Did I say something wrong?”

Asahi shrugged. “Honestly, I think you’re valid. I think her logic in avoiding Jeongwoo is pretty dumb. The dude’s in my gym class. Honestly, he’s chill. I don’t think he’d react badly to her if she confesses regardless of how he feels.”

“I should probably find her and apologize anyway.” Haruto said, exiting the room. Eventually he found his friend and they sat together in the cafeteria.

“Sorry about what I said earlier. I’ll admit it was kind of harsh. But honestly I can’t say I understand your logic at all.”

“It’s fine Haruto. You seemed extra happy when you walked in this morning. Who was the friend that you saw at the concert?”

“It was her. Y/N.”

“No way! Isn’t she in Japan?”

“That’s what I thought too. I was so shocked to see her.”

“What did you say to her? What did you guys talk about? Did she recognize you?”

“That’s the thing. The best part of it all was that I actually had her attention. You remember I told you about how she never acknowledged anybody right? She was always reading her notebook in the hallway. In the past when I spoke to her she never even knew my name! She had to ask me every single time. But this time, there’s no way she wouldn’t remember me!”

“Your relationship is weird. But I guess that’s sweet. What does she write about in her notebook?”

“I don’t know. Why does it matter? She knows my name now!”

“That’s another thing. You went to school together for years and she never remembered your name? Why?”

“I don’t know.” Haruto said. Now he was grouchy. All the questions that had been brought up to him were valid, but these weren’t things he wanted to think about.

A few weeks before the lacrosse tryouts in the spring Haruto went to the hospital to get a physical done.

Once he was done he stumbled into a small cafe right next to the hospital. When he saw who was manning the cash register he rubbed his eyes and looked away and looked back a few times to make sure he wasn’t being deluded. When he was confident that he wasn’t going crazy he stood up and walked over to the register.

You saw a tall, handsome, and skinny guy walk up to the cash register. You cleared your throat and stood up straight. “Hello, what can I get you?”

“Y/N! It’s fate. We ran into each other again!”

“Again?” You put a smile on your face and thought of a response. “Hey, it’s so good to see you! How have you been? What’ll you have?”

“Do you...remember my name?”

You felt your heart picking up speed and your palms beginning to sweat. But you kept your composure. “Of course, let me take your order and we can chat for a second.”

Haruto beamed. “Okay, then I’ll just have an Iced Americano.”

“Okay, that’ll be $3.30. The ice machine is in the back so I’ll be right out in a second. You rushed to the back of the cafe and pulled out your diary and flipped through the pages, reading the entries as quickly as possible. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed a torn piece of paper that had slipped out of your bag. You picked it up, it matched the paper in your diary. You flipped it over to see that it had a name written on it. Haruto.

Was that this guy’s name? Who was he to you? Darn it, why hadn’t you written more?

You quickly filled the cup with ice and walked out filling the cup with cold brew. You grabbed the marker and scribbled Haruto on it. You walked back over to the cash register. This guy’s eyes were practically glittering in anticipation. Was it normal for someone to get this excited over a coffee?

“I’ve got one iced americano for Haruto?” you said.

If his eyes were glittering before, they were practically flashing light strobe lights at a nightclub now. A matching beaming grin on his face. “Yes! Y/N it’s fate. We ran into each other again!”

“Right. Yeah, of course. What are the odds.”

“Do you have a minute?”

“Um, I’m working right now. I’d rather not get in trouble. Maybe another time?”

Haruto swiveled around, eying the cafe. “It looks pretty empty to me. I don’t think you’d get in trouble if you came out for a second just to keep me company.”

“Still…”

“Is your manager even here right now?”

“No.”

“Then come on. Just come out for a second.”

You looked around the cafe, cursing at how vacant it was. You tugged at your sleeves for a second before answering. “Fine.”

You followed Haruto out from behind the counter. He walked over to a table and pulled a seat out from underneath the table. He smiled as he waited for you to sit down. You walked over to the table and turned around. Haruto slid the chair underneath you as you moved to sit down. Once you were seated Haruto ran around to the other side of the table and sat down.

“How are you? How have you been?” Haruto asked.

You stared at the boy sitting in front of you. He was so handsome. “I’m doing well. How about you?”

“I’m good. I was in the area because I needed to go to the hospital.”

Your ears perked up. “Why were you at the hospital?”

“Why do you wanna know? Are you worried about me?”

You didn’t say anything. You just stared at Haruto. Haruto cleared his throat and looked away for a second. “I’m just playing with you. I went to get a physical.”

You nodded, tracing the patterns on the tablecloth.

“I needed one for lacrosse tryouts.”

“Lacrosse? What is that?” you asked. Haruto thought the way your nose scrunched in confusion was adorable.

“I told you about it last time! Remember? It’s this sport that Americans like to play. I had never heard of it in Japan either.”

You didn’t remember. “Right.”

Haruto couldn’t understand the dynamics of the conversation. He watched as you avoided eye contact with him and intensely focused on tracing the pattern of the table cloth. Then you would stare out the window of the cafe, it almost appeared as if your eyes were glazed over. “What are you always writing about in your notebook?”

Your head spun over to look at him so fast, you thought you might have gotten whiplash. “What?”

“Your notebook. I remember in school back in Japan I always saw you either writing things down in a notebook or reading the same notebook. What’s in it?”

“Um, nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Why? It can’t be that bad. I promise I won’t laugh no matter how embarrassing it might be.” Haruto said. Leaning forward over the table so that he was in your face.

“Forget it.” You said, leaning back and looking away. You glanced over at your bag that was perched far back behind the counter and breathed a sigh of relief. “Look. I gotta go. I’m supposed to be working right now. I think you should go now as well.”

You stood up from the table so quickly that the chair you were sitting on toppled over. You didn’t bother to turn around and pick it up. You walked back towards the counter without looking back.

Haruto watched you as you walked away. He narrowed his eyes when he saw you grab your bag and walk to the back of the cafe. There was only one thing on his mind as he walked out of the cafe. Your notebook. What was in the notebook?

You frantically flipped to today’s page in your notebook. In all caps with your boldest, darkest black marker you wrote at the top of your notebook. ‘Beware of Haruto. Tall, Handsome. Asked about notebook.’

Then you shut the notebook and exited the back room, breathing a sigh of relief when you noticed that the cafe was vacant once again. You walked over to the cafe table where you had previously sat and picked up the chair that had fallen over when you had left the conversation.

The next day at school Haruto was deep in thought. What could possibly be so important about a notebook? When Hanbyul shoved him, Haruto shrieked as he fell out of his chair. “Dude, what the hell is your problem?”

“What are you thinking about? You look like you’re thinking so hard that your brain might break.”

“Do you have an important notebook? Is that like something girls do?”

“You mean like a diary?”

Haruto snapped his fingers and looked up. “Yes! Exactly like one of those. Do you have one of those?”

“I did when I was younger. I don’t keep one anymore though. Why do you ask?”

“My friend. The one from home, Y/N? I think she has one. I asked her about it yesterday and she got all dodgy and weird.”

“Ah, well. Back when I did keep a diary it held all my dirtiest secrets. I don’t think I would want to share it with anybody or for anybody to know about it. Not even now, and as an elementary schooler I really don’t think I had any secrets worth keeping.”

“It was so weird. She got so defensive over it. I didn’t realize bringing it up would be such a touchy subject.”

Hanbyul shrugged. “Different things matter to different people. Are you ready for tryouts? They’re coming up soon aren’t they?”

Haruto nodded. “Asahi, Mashiho, Yoshi, and I have started going to that gym that you recommended. Lacrosse is actually pretty fun. Mashiho is the best though. Are you coming to tryouts?”

“Of course I am. I’m practically making you go so it’s only fair that I be there to see how you do. I reserve the right to totally make fun of you if you embarrass yourself though.”

Haruto rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever.”

Soon enough it was the first day of lacrosse tryouts. Haruto had frequented the cafe that you worked at in hopes of getting the chance to speak to you again. Unfortunately, what he didn’t know was that you had quit the job and diligently stayed home and studied.

Haruto was agitated at the thought of not being able to speak to you again. When he tried to sit down and rationalize it himself he couldn’t make sense of it. A year ago he despised you for not knowing his name. You know his name now, right? What more did he want from you?

“Haruto? Haruto! Hello? Are you even listening to me?”

Haruto turned to look at Hanbyul. “Honestly no, sorry. What’s up?”

“I feel bad for how I treated Jeongwoo. You were right, avoiding him was not the right thing to do. But why hasn’t he said anything to me?”

“Look I can’t tell you what’s going on between the two of you any better than you can. My assumption is that he’s a bit hurt and confused at the moment by how you’re acting and he doesn’t want to make things any worse than they are.”

“Can’t you say something to him?”

“Me?” Haruto looked up from his stick that he was re-taping. “What do you want me to say to him?”

“I don’t know. Just...just get him to react.”

Haruto scoffed. “If you want me to do that I can but again I feel like it’s not going to produce the results that you want. Like I think if I say anything things are gonna go really sour so I think you should think long and hard about this.”

“Haruto!”

“Look, I gotta go. Tryouts are starting.” Haruto said, turning away and walking onto the field. He didn’t miss the hard stare coming his way from Jeongwoo. Haruto ignored them and focused on his gameplay. Lacrosse had actually become really cathartic for him and he found that he really wanted to make the team.

Haruto noticed that the coaches seemed to be reacting favorably to how he was playing. He also realized that Jeongwoo was also really good but he played really aggressively, like he had something to lose. At the end of practice Haruto figured his hunches must have been correct because the coaches called him over to speak with him.

“I’m sure you know Varsity tryouts were this morning, all of your friends from Japan did great as did you and so we’re thinking about pulling you up to varsity. So tomorrow I want you to come early and try out with the varsity team, alright?”

Haruto beamed and nodded.

“Good work son.” The coach slapped Haruto on the shoulder. He did his best not to fall over. Thankfully the coach didn’t notice.

Haruto walked off the field and headed towards the school parking lot. Just as he pulled his phone out to call someone for a ride home his phone pinged, he tapped on the notification to see that it was a message from Mashiho.

Mashiho: Haruto have JV tryouts ended?

Haruto: Yes, I just finished

Mashiho: Cool. Have you found a ride home yet?

Haruto: No, do you know anyone who can come get me?

Mashiho: Ya, a lot of the guys on varsity can drive. Junkyu is over now but he offered to come pick you up.

Haruto: Junkyu?

Mashiho: He’s trying out for the varsity team. He’s cool. Kinda goofy but cool. I’ll come by with him.

Haruto: Alright, thanks dude.

Mashiho: Np.

Haruto checked the time on his phone before putting it back into his pocket. 6 P.M. Would you be at the cafe? The last few times he had gone by he hadn’t seen you. He put the thought away when a car appeared in front of him. The window rolled down and Mashiho cheered when he saw Haruto. “Get in the car! You smell!”

“Shut up and unlock the door Mashi.” The car door clicked open and Haruto hopped into the backseat. There was a large dude sitting in the driver’s seat who kept fidgeting with a bunch of random controls.

The guy turned around with a giant grin on his face. “Hello! I’m Junkyu. You must be Haruto! Nice to meet you!”

Haruto bowed. “Hello. Yes, I am Haruto. Nice to meet you as well.”

“Ruto! How were tryouts?”

“They were really good. Coach pulled me over at the end of tryouts and told me to come early tomorrow morning and try out with the varsity team.”

“Damn! You must be so good!” Junkyu said from the driver’s seat. Haruto tried not to be concerned by the way Junkyu was driving. His head kept swiveling from left to right. “Did you guys play sports back in Japan? All of you were insane at tryouts today!”

“We all played football. I think Mashi and Yoshi played basketball as well.”

“Football? Do you mean football football or soccer football?”

“Eh?”

“Do you kick a ball or do you carry a ball?”

“You kick it. Duh. Why would you carry a ball? That’s just dumb.”

“Americans call a totally different sport football. Don’t worry about it too much. But it’s awesome that you guys are so good.”

“Well to be fair, we were told about that Lacrosse Club and we had a few training sessions every week leading up to try outs.” Mashiho said.

“Ahh! How’d you hear about that? A few of us have been playing on their club teams for a while.”

“My friend told me about it. She’s the person responsible for me in the foreign exchange students program. Hanbyul?”

“Oh! I know who you’re talking about. Her brother was a legend at this school. He was a top recruit since his sophomore year here. But right before the most important game of his senior year he tested positive on a drug test and he couldn’t play. It totally turned him, his team, and the school around. He got dropped by the college that was recruiting him. But I heard he struck a deal with a pro-team and I guess he’s been training with them. The dude was in a league of his own.”

“Damn. That’s insane.”

“Yeah, our school takes lacrosse pretty seriously. The best players at our school get recruited to some of the best schools so it’s a great opportunity.”

Haruto knew there were probably more important things to be thinking about in this conversation but he couldn’t help but wonder if he could get you to come to one of his games.

The second day of tryouts Haruto was absolutely on fire. His shorts were shart, his passes were quick, and his steps were light. The varsity team was definitely of a different caliber but Haruto found the challenge fun. It was nice to be able to play with the rest of the Japanese boys as well.

At the end of varsity tryouts the coach pulled him over, “you were great out there today. How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling alright coach.”

“Up for a few more hours?”

Haruto paused, but then nodded. He wasn’t in a place to argue with his coaches. “Sure.”

“Great. Then I want you to continue through JV tryouts. Grab some water and then head back out onto the field.”

“Alright coach.”

Haruto jogged out to the edge of the field. He was surprised to see Hanbyul sitting at the edge of the bleachers. “What’s up?”

“Hey, what are you doing here?”

“What do you mean what am I doing here? I came to watch your second day of tryouts.”

“Are you sure you’re here to watch me?”

“Shut up. Why are you all sweaty already?”

“Coach had me try out with the varsity team today.”

Hanbyul’s eyes widened. “Dang, you must be awesome. The last two boys that made it onto the varsity team as sophomores were my brother and his best friend Bobby.”

Haruto shrugged. “The game is fun. It would be awesome to play on varsity.”

The coach blew his whistle, signalling all the players to come back out onto the field. Haruto turned around and gathered around. Every so often throughout the day Haruto ran back to the bleachers where Hanbyul sat. His bag was stowed away there as was his secret stash of Coca-Cola. It probably wasn’t smart to be drinking Coke in the middle of tryouts but every so often he needed a pick-me-up.

“You need to quash that habit.”

“Yeah yeah.”

At the end of the day the coach told Haruto to wait for him inside his office. So Haruto did just that.

“So what’d you think about tryouts today?” Coach asked.

“It was intense.”

“Yeah, what did you think of the way the varsity team played?”

“They were quicker, sharper, and more nimble.”

“Good observation. Do you think you were good enough to play on their level?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, then answer me another question. If you had to pick another player from the JV tryouts today to pull up to Varsity who would you pick?”

Haruto thought about it for a second. The answer was obvious. The only other person who seemed to put up a fight with him was “Jeongwoo.”

“Good guess.” The coach laughed. “I don’t know what they feed you kids in Japan. But all four of you are good.”

There was a knock on the door. Haruto turned around to see Jeongwoo. He smirked when he saw the sour expression on Jeongwoo’s face. But it was gone once he had walked into the room and stood adjacent to Haruto.

“The two of you have demonstrated amazing capabilities and I am considering pulling one of you up to the varsity team. Take this opportunity seriously. Tomorrow is the last day of tryouts.”

The last place Haruto expected to run into you was at the hospital. The last thing you were expecting at the hospital was for a dude to come up behind you and scare you. It was horrible, you can’t remember the last time you screamed so loudly, let alone at a public place.

“What are you doing here Y/N?”

“Uh, I’m-” you hesitated, trying to craft an answer that was vague enough that you wouldn’t have to tell the whole truth but not vague enough that he wouldn’t continue to ask questions. But thankfully Haruto seemed to take it upon himself to fill the silence.

“Look, I just wanted to say I’m sorry that I totally misjudged you when I first met you? In fact, I thought I hated you.”

Alarm bells went off in your head. Was it normal for a person to come to you and tell you they hated you? “Uh, thanks?”

But Haruto continued. “But I wanted to say I totally read you wrong. You’re actually really cool. And I wanted to say thank you. For remembering my name.”

That was the first time someone had ever said that to you. You stared at him blankly unsure of how to respond.

“Haruto! Haruto! Haruto! Please report to waiting room 105, the doctor is ready for you now.” The voice over the loudspeaker belted.

“Well, that’s me.” Haruto said with a soft smile on his face. He got up and waved goodbye to you before heading to the back of the office.

Once he was safely out of sight you pulled out your notebook. Your face paled once you flipped through it a few times. You thought about what to do. What did this guy want? You wrote out all these questions in your notebook. Then you came to a conclusion of what to do and wrote that down in your notebook as well.

You ripped out a piece of paper from your notebook and scribbled your number on it. Then got up to the receptionist desk. “Hi, I don’t know if you’re allowed to do this. But when that guy Haruto comes out. Would you mind giving him this?”

You handed the sheet of paper over to her, the receptionist gave you a look and then a wink before accepting the sheet of paper. You figured that meant she accepted, so you waved goodbye and left the hospital.

“Excuse me sir!” The receptionist lady called out to Haruto as he was about to head out of the doctor’s office. What felt and looked like a nasty possible sprain on the lacrosse field just turned out to be a measly bruise.

Haruto approached the reception desk. “There was a young lady earlier. She asked me to give this to you before you leave.”

Haruto looked at the slip of paper. His eyes widened into the size of large gumballs when he realized what was on it. He felt like his heart would explode. But then his mind pumped the brakes, he wasn’t ungrateful, but why did you give him your number?

On the way back home you second guessed your decision at least 30 times. Why did you give him your number? The only reason you could think of was that you didn’t want to not know the guy. Contrary to what your mind and your diary told you. Your heart didn’t want to give him up. Maybe it was selfish and confusing, who knew? But who cared?

Haruto’s excitement was cut short when he finished punching your number into his contacts. Before he could even send a message to you, his phone rang. Hanbyul.

“Hey Hanbyul, what’s up?”

Haruto became alarmed when he heard a sniff and a muffled sob. “Haruto, I miss him.”

Haruto sighed. “He’ll come around soon.”

“Is there nothing you can do to make him come around sooner?”

“Hanbyul. If all goes well he’s going to be my teammate. Plus, what could I possibly say to change things?”

“I don’t know. He probably thinks there’s something going on between us.”

Haruto paused. “Is that why you’re friends with me?”

“No, no I swear it’s not. You’re an amazing person and you’ve been an amazing friend.”

“Hanbyul.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t like what you’re asking me to do. But you are my friend. If you’re really sure this is the way you want to go about it.”

“I’m- I’m not sure. I just need things to change.”

On the third day of tryouts Haruto was in a funk. And it showed. The events of yesterday night haunted him, he was happy to see you but he was sorry for Hanbyul. Haruto didn’t really like to fight with anybody, but he found her requests unreasonable and the questions she asked about you probing and uncomfortable.

It seemed as if Jeongwoo was the same way. Haruto gave into the niggling voice inside his head and said probably he shouldn’t have said. “You’re gonna lose your girl to me and now you’re gonna lose your spot on the team to me?”

It pushed Jeongwoo off the edge and the two of them went at it. Haruto played ferociously and aggressively. As did Jeongwoo. The game ended when Jeongwoo illegally body checked Haruto.

“Dude what the hell is your problem?”

“No, what’s your problem? Your comment back there? Absolutely uncalled for.”

Valid. But Haruto wasn’t going to admit that. “Please. Pull your head out of your ass. You’re hurting your friend. Talk to her.”

Haruto stood by as he and Jeongwoo got scolded for their behavior. Eventually, tryouts ended with neither one ending up on the varsity team. Haruto knew he probably should have been more bothered but he wasn’t. He had other things on his mind.

When Haruto exited the office he saw Hanbyul waiting outside. She turned to look away from Jeongwoo back to Haruto. Tired and hopeful that their saga would end, Haruto smiled and jutted his chin out towards Jeongwoo. Hanbyul smiled and ran after Jeongwoo.

Since the fateful day you have Haruto your number. Whenever he had a free moment he would ask to see you. After each time you saw him, you thoroughly wrote down everything that had happened in the day. You didn’t want to forget.

A few Mondays ago, you went to get ice cream together. “What’s your favorite food, Haruto?”

“Me? Anything unhealthy.”

You whacked him on the arm for that.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“For being a stupid teenage boy. And because I’m jealous of your metabolism.”

A couple Thursdays ago, Haruto asked you if you wanted to go watch a movie with him. The Uber and the weather didn’t quite work out. “Sorry we missed the movie by 45 minutes. But on the bright side, it’s not raining anymore!”

You laughed. “I guess you’re right. What should we do instead now that we’re here?”

Haruto looked around. He pointed at the grassy meadow. “We should just lay down on the grass and look at the stars.”

“The grass is wet.”

“Look, they're selling plastic tarps over at that convenience store. Let’s just buy one.”

“Okay.”

Haruto paid for a plastic tarp and spread it down out on the grassy meadow. The two of you laid on the ground parallel to one another. Until Haruto turned to you “can I hold you?”

You felt your face flush and you looked away. You hesitated for a few moments but eventually Haruto smiled when he heard a soft “yeah.”

So he moved his arm as you lifted your head to rest on top of it. You curled into him as his arm wrapped around your upper body. Haruto’s stomach exploded in butterflies. Your face was on fire. But the two of you were happy, blissful.

Last Friday night Haruto asked you to come to one of his lacrosse games. “Y/N, this is my friend Hanbyul. Hanbyul, this is Y/N.”

“Y/N?” Hanbyul stared at you eyes wide. Like she knew something. She looked like she wanted to say something but she held it in. You wondered what it was, but decided not to think too much about it.

Hanbyul was sweet. She kept you company throughout the game. But she was an aggressive cheer-er. Most of her attention was spent yelling at the field. Her energy was contagious and by the end of the game you were standing on the bleachers cheering “Go Haruto!”

Now it was Saturday and the two of you had finally gone to see the movie that you had meant to see a couple Thursdays ago. You clasped onto the arm that Haruto had held out for you as you exited the movie theater. “That movie was so good! It was so crazy!”

Haruto laughed. “Yeah it was okay.”

“Just okay? You didn’t like it?”

“No, I liked it. It wasn’t bad. But I feel like there were better movies from this cinematic universe you know?”

“Yeah I guess.”

“Which one was your favorite?” Haruto asked.

“Huh?” You looked up at Haruto to see him looking down at you. You turned away. “Um. Would you wanna come back to my place?”

“Huh?” Haruto wasn’t normally caught off guard but this time he was.

“I mean. Not like that. I just, I don’t know I’m not ready for the night to end and I figured since my place is close by we could just go back and chat.”

Haruto smiled. “Yeah, that sounds nice. Let’s go.”

Soon after the two of you arrived at your place, Haruto got situated on the couch and after making sure he was properly settled in. You had gotten up to go fetch your drinks. Haruto spotted your notebook sitting on the edge of the coffee table. He glanced over to see that your attention was fully occupied on making your drinks. Haruto turned back to stare at the notebook. No. The notebook was staring at him. Haruto knew it was wrong. He knew he shouldn’t peek.

But he couldn’t help it. Every time he saw you he either saw the notebook with you or he saw you writing the notebook and every time he even remotely looked in its direction you guarded it with your life. This could be his only chance.

And so, Haruto grabbed the notebook. He flipped through it and saw that it was very meticulously dated. Upon closer inspection he noticed that each entry was timed as well and every timed entry had extensive details about what you saw, what you talked about. Then he flipped backwards and found one page not like the others.

This page wasn’t dated. Instead, it was titled. Haruto. Haruto’s eyes widened. Every line of his designated page was filled. There were things about him on there that even he hadn’t realized he had said. Why had you written all these things down? All these details didn’t seem that important to him. They were like things that were probably easily remembered. Or things you could ask him about, he’d answer if you ever asked him about.

Just as he was about to continue flipping through the pages of the notebook. “What do you think you’re doing?”

An index card fluttered out of the notebook right at Haruto’s feet. Haruto bent down to pick it up. But in a panic you kicked his shin and as he howled and grabbed onto his leg you snatched the card. “What the hell Y/N?”

“No. I should be asking you that. I’ve made it abundantly clear that this notebook is not to be touched. It’s incredibly private to me.”

“What is it? Why is it so important? I asked Hanbyul what it might be and she just said it was probably a diary. What is so special about yours?”

“What is so special about mine?” you were so angry you felt like your head was about to pop. While your head didn’t pop. Your mouth certainly did. “What is so special about mine? This notebook? This notebook. Is my memory. I don’t have a memory.”

You tossed the card at Haruto. He picked it up and read the words on the card as you spoke.

“At age 13 you were involved in a very traumatic car accident. The accident left you in a coma for two weeks. After you recovered from your coma you were diagnosed with anterograde amnesia. From that day on, you no longer have the ability to make memories. The memories you make within a day will only last until you fall asleep wherein your memories of the previous day will be wiped. Use your notebooks to keep track of your days. Use these notebooks to help you remember.”

You could hear your voice waver as you finished reciting the contents on the index card.

“Y/N, I-” Haruto said. The world seemed grayer and grimmer. Everything made so much sense now. Why every time he spoke to you in school you had to ask for his name. Why sometimes you looked confused or blank when he mentioned something or attempted to crack a joke.

“So now you know.” You whispered. You could feel your body start to heave, your breathing became heavy. The gravity of what you had just exposed started to weigh down on you. “You need to leave. You need to leave and never come back.”

“Y/N. I wish you would have told me.”

“Why?” You snarled. “Why would I tell you that? Each day I wake up I can’t even remember who you are. Why would I have told you anything? Just so you could go around pitying me? Telling everyone else about me? Absolutely not.”

Haruto started to feel tears well up in his own eyes. He felt trapped in his own body as he watched your body fail yours. When he saw you collapse something snapped in his head and he got up and picked you up. One arm held you under your shoulder blades and the other below your knees.

“Get. Out.” you said in between wheezes.

“No. Y/N. I’m sorry. I don’t want to. Let me help you.”

“Get. Out.” you said, barely conscious.

“Y/N. You’re scaring me. What do I do? How do I help you? Let me help you and I’ll leave you alone.”

Your eyelids were getting heavier and heavier. Honestly, you weren’t even sure what exactly was going on. Maybe it would be smart to have Haruto call your doctor before he left. “Emergency Numbers. Notebook.”

Haruto placed you down on your bed just as you had passed out. Haruto immediately ran back to the living room and grabbed your notebook that had fallen onto the ground. He flipped through it frantically. What page were the emergency numbers on? He saw them scribbled on the inside of the back cover. He grabbed his phone and dialed the first number listed at the top.

“Hello? Is this Y/N’s doctor? She’s just passed out and I don’t know what to do. I’m in her apartment right now. Someone please come help me.” Haruto hadn’t even realized that tears had been streaming down his face until he saw wet splotches appear on the notebook. He wiped them quickly and sniffed. “This is scaring me.”

“Yes, this is Y/N’s doctor. I’m on my way over. Who is this?”

“Haruto. I’m a friend of hers.”

“Haruto. You did good, son. Just wait. I’ll be there in a second.”

“Doctor. Is she gonna be okay?”

“Honestly I can’t tell you right now. I have to check up on her. Right now I’m in front of her door so you can let me in.” The call ended and Haruto opened the door.

“Is she in her room?” The stout man asked.

Haruto nodded and followed him back into your room. He tried to help the doctor but eventually the doctor turned to him and said “son, just relax. Give me some space. She should be fine. She had a panic attack, something must have worked her up. But she’ll wake up. But, it might be better if you aren’t here by the time she wakes up.

“I understand, doctor.”

The doctor took a good look at him. Then nodded grimly before turning his attention back to you. Before Haruto could leave though he saw a stack of index cards, a roll of washi tape, and a pen sitting on your desk. He was still holding your notebook from earlier. He grabbed the materials and headed back out to the living room.

Before he left he scribbled out a note. Then pulled something out of his wallet and taped it to the back of the index card. He then taped the index card to the inside of the front cover before shutting the notebook and leaving it in the middle of your coffee table. He held in a sob as he got up. How had things gone so sour so quickly?

Haruto walked back over to your room and peeked in. Your doctor was still busy doting on you. So he turned around and exited your apartment. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Junkyu. “Hey, can you pick me up?”

“Yeah of course. Send me the address.” Junkyu said, trying not to be too alarmed by the tone of Haruto’s voice.

Eventually, you woke up. After reading the note that your doctor had taped to your hand explaining the situation you took a deep sigh. What a shit show. You needed to find the notebook your doctor had mentioned in his note.

It was sitting in the very middle of your coffee table. You flipped through the last few pages to read your entries. Your eyes started to water and you felt yourself get emotional. You could sense that you had grown close to someone. You read about yourself and how you felt about Haruto, but who was Haruto? For the most part you had made peace with your situation but for the first time in a long time, you began to feel frustrated. Angry. Cheated of a normal life that other 16 year old girls got to live.

Just as you were about to shut the notebook you noticed there were two index cards taped to the inside cover. The first one explained your situation. It was more or less what your doctor had just explained to you. But the second one was new. You lifted it up to your face and began to read it aloud.

Y/N,

If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you are the love of my life. My name is Haruto Watanabe and I am 16 years old. I met you for the first time in our freshman year of high school back then when we lived in Japan. We were only 14 years old. I used to be jealous of you, how you beat me in school every time even if just by a little bit. I also resented you because I thought you never bothered to remember my name.

By some stroke of fate, we both ended up in America. Whether by fate or not we saw each other a few more times and met up with each other and I really began to fall for you. You are the kindest, most beautiful, and genuine person I have ever met in my life.

I want you to know that even with your condition. My opinion and my feelings towards you have not changed. I want to be honest with you and tell you what I did and I hope in time you can read this and not feel angry.

Y/N, I did something bad. I invaded your privacy. You see, every time I saw you you fiercely guarded this notebook. Everytime I asked about it or possibly glimpsed at it you would react so strongly so eventually the curiosity of needing to know what was in the notebook killed me. And one day when your attention was occupied elsewhere, I read it.

It seemed like a regular diary to me but you caught me in the act and got upset with me. You explained to me your condition and I want you to know I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry I behaved so insensitively. If I were a more selfless man I would have left your life for good. But I am not. I’ve attached my school I.D. to the back of this card. On it has my name, my picture, and my phone number.

If you ever find it in yourself to forgive me. Please give me a call. I will always love you.

Love,

Haruto Watanabe

You flipped the back of the card over. Sure enough there was a school I.D. taped to the back. You pulled the card off and stared at it. The boy in the picture was handsome. He was tall. His height was 6’2”. You scoffed, at least you had good taste.

You saw his phone number at the bottom. You pondered over whether or not to call him, what would you even say to him? Where would he even fit in your life?

These were the questions that ran through your mind as you pulled your phone out and dialed his number. You stared at the numbers as you recited them aloud again. Your thumb hovering above the green button.

[ladyvesuvia]

Nuggets with Gravy || [D.M.]

[Navigation] [Masterlist]

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader

Requested?: No

Summary: Draco takes the reader out for a drive-thru in a Muggle fast food, but they did not prepare the reader’s order properly. inspired by a prompt i got from this generator

Words: 1.6k

Category: FLUUUFFF

Warnings: light thigh touching, light cursing

Disclaimer: GIF NOT MINE! I do not own any of the characters in this story.

A/N: HAVE SOME FLUFF MILOVES

“I don’t understand, why can’t we just Apparate or use tacky Floo powder or something?” said Draco, with a hint of a whine in his voice.

“Because it’s a drive-thru, and I want you to see it for yourself. Now get in.” [Y/N] shoved Draco into the passenger seat, shutting the door harder than she should have.

As they exited the parking lot, [Y/N] suggested the I Spy game. It didn’t work out well as planned.

“I spy with my little eye. . .a mistake.” Draco said, his eyes scouring the view as other cars drove past each other. “Very big one.”

“You talking about me?” joked [Y/N].

“What? No! It’s just outside and it’s really tall.”

“Uh. . .I don’t know. Are you criticizing the highway we’re on or what?”

As McDonald’s loomed closer into view, Draco pointed out the tall drive-thru sign. “That’s the answer, I win.”

“What even is the mistake?”

“The sign! Did they really have to spell it like that? Why not drive-through with the O-G-H? It’s not that hard.” Draco muttered, mocking the tall sign of the McDonald’s drive-thru sign. “Lazy Muggles.”

[Y/N] couldn’t help but smile. Was he insufferable? Definitely. But this was the most comfortable she had been this summer. Having just gotten her driver’s license, [Y/N] decided to take her boyfriend out to something he’s never been in before. Being a half-blood herself, she knew he wouldn’t know a thing about the Muggle world, which gave her a number of ideas for more dates in the future.

“Alright, we’re here.” She said, slowing down in front of a window. A young woman — maybe older than them for a few years — leaned forward, and asked them what their order was.

“What do you want, Draco?”

“What, you’re not gonna call me ‘love’ anymore? What’d I do?”

“Fine. What do you want, love?”

“What are you having?” He asked, squinting his eyes to scan the menu before them.

“Nuggets with gravy.” [Y/N] smiled politely at the attendant, who didn’t seem amused. She wanted to apologize, but Draco would probably launch into a full-on presentation out of no where as to why she should stop saying sorry for the stupidest things.

“Okay, then I’ll have that too and a float.”

“Perfect,” said [Y/N], excitedly. “You’re gonna love it. Do you want fries too?”

“Sure, I guess.” His eyes drifted to the scenery outside once more, then back to the menu. He had not taken Muggle studies in Hogwarts, so he hadn’t much knowledge of what any of these are called. His second elective was Divination, considering that he didn’t bother to interest himself in the world of Muggles. Of course, he wishes that he did take it so that he could impress his girlfriend better rather than asking what everything is every two seconds.

He watched her intently as she told the attendant their order. “Two six-piece McNuggets, make the sauces gravy instead of barbecue sauce. Got that down? Gra. . .vy. Okay, I’m sor—”

She paused, careful not to apologize. “Gravy. Then could you upgrade the drinks to coke floats instead? And we’d like two large fries as well.”

As the woman jotted it down, [Y/N] put in her mix tape into the car’s player. Always by Atlantic Starr started playing, capturing his attention. “This Muggle song isn’t so bad.”

“Stop calling everything you see a Muggle object, just enjoy it. And of course it’s good. It’s by Atlantic Starr.”

“Sounds a bit old, though. I like it nonetheless.”

“Well, duh. It was released around eleven years ago.” She rested her hand on his thigh, teasing him.

“Shouldn’t I be doing that?” he said, playing with her fingers.

“Sounds a bit old, though.” [Y/N] retorted, bringing up her hand to his cheeks, squeezing it gently. The attendant returned, handing them their receipt. [Y/N] pulled her hand away, pulling out her wallet.

“No, I’m paying.” Draco started to pull out his purse. He had them converted in Gringotts, which [Y/N] berated him for.

“Nope, my treat this time. Just enjoy the food and the view, Malfoy.”

She put her attention back to the steering wheel, driving to the next window. A different attendant handed them the two paper-bags containing their food. As they drove away, [Y/N] asked Draco to check their food.

“Two nugget boxes are here, the coke floats are right there, and. . .” He trailed off.

“And what? Did they forget your fries?”

“No, the fries are here but they only put one gravy. The other one’s barbecue sauce.” Draco pulled out the two containers, showing it.

“That’s fine, you can have the gravy.”

“What? No! Make a turn.” He started to stand straighter in his seat, opening the his window. “It’s not that far yet, make a turn.”

“It’s okay, you can have the gravy. I can’t make a turn right now. It’s not that big of a deal, sweetie.”

“Not that big of— you specifically told Ada to put gravy instead of barbecue sauce. You even repeated it. That git!”

“Ada?” [Y/N] laughed nervously.

“The cashier thingy girl in the first window! She had that name tag. Agh, they messed up your food.”

“No need to turn back, I told you already — it’s okay.” [Y/N] made to reach for his thigh again, but he was busy still searching the paper bag, as if it would appear out of no where. “We’ll just pull over and eat, okay?”

“No way.” Draco reached for the steering wheel, moving it on his own.

“What the— Stop! You’re gonna get us killed!” She swatted his hand away as horns from passing cars sounded. Although she did not see the faces of the drivers, she knew full well they were angry. “You’re gonna make me lose my license on the first week, stop it!”

“Make a turn, then.”

“Alright! Alright! Get your hands off the wheel now.” Irritated, she kept on driving to look for a vacant space to reverse the car. After getting back on trail on their way back to McDonald’s she didn’t talk. What the hell was he thinking?

“Now what?” She spatted, arms crossed as she waited for Draco’s answer while the car stopped in front of the drive-thru’s entrance.

He seemed almost bashful, but not quite. “Drive in. I just wanna have a talk with Ada.”

So she did, and as they slid into the first window, Draco took off his seatbelt, inching closer to [Y/N]’s seat, his head already poking out of the window.

Ada, not looking up from a book she was reading, said in a dead tone, “Welcome to McDonald’s, may I take your—”

“WHERE’S HER GRAVY?”

Shit, shit, shit, this is embarrassing.

The book, which [Y/N] could now see properly now that Draco had inched further into the window, was Chicken Soup for the Soul, and Ada had dropped it in surprise. “Excuse me?”

“She asked for the sauces to be gravy, but you gave us one gravy and one barbecue sauce. Care to explain yourself, Mug— Mug. . .Donald’s?”

“MugDonald’s, really? Nice save.” [Y/N] whispered, scoffing.

“Shut up,” he whispered back. “Give us her gravy.”

Ada seemed dumbstruck, as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You know, I can drive away right now.”

“Oh no, you wouldn’t. You’re all about keeping your wretched license.” He replied to her, still looking at Ada. It was an uncomfortable position, and if [Y/N] slumped down, she was sure she wouldn’t be able to breathe. “The gravy, Miss Ada, hand them over.”

“Merlin, Draco, sit down, I’ll handle it.” She pushed him away, putting him back to his seat, forcing the seatbelt shut and turned back to Ada, who was still frozen.

“Hi, sorry, Ada. Could I replace this barbecue sauce with gravy instead? There was a minor mistake.” [Y/N] grabbed the paper bag on Draco’s lap, shooting him one glare before pulling out the barbecue sauce and handing it to Ada.

The attendant stiffly turned away, grabbing a tiny container of gravy from a shelf, exchanging the barbecue sauce in [Y/N]’s hand. Boy, she looked uncomfortable.

“Thank you, dear.”

When they got out of the drive-thru, [Y/N] remained silent again for two minutes until a string of fries popped up in her line of view. “I’m driving, Draco.”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m feeding you. Hurry, they’re gonna get cold.” He waved the fry in his hand, holding it out in front of her face. “They’re delicious.”

“I know, Draco.”

Draco made a sad face, his hand clutching his chest in an effort to get her attention. “It hurts that you called that attendant ‘dear’ and you call me just that.”

“Oh, for Pete’s sake, give me the fry.”

Draco held out the fry again, and [Y/N] bit his hand as well, leaving tiny bite marks on his skinny fingers. “Ow! What was that for?”

“Swerving the wheel, throwing a tantrum in a drive-thru, and distracting me.”

“Well, no fair, I got you your gravy. I got you justice.” He started sipping his own coke float, making pathetic little puppy eyes as she pulled over at a mall’s parking lot.

“Whatever,” she squeezed his cheek again. “Weirdo.”

They started preparing their food. [Y/N] adjusted her seat so she could eat properly, and she couldn’t wait to indulge her favorite nuggets. Draco was the first to open his box, dipping one nugget into the gravy.

He took a bite and let out a satisfied moan. “Oh, Merlin, this is so good.”

“I know, right?” added [Y/N] as she chomped on her own.

“And you had the audacity to turn down coming back and getting your gravy!”

“Well, I could’ve shared with yours.”

“No way I’m sharing you my gravy.”

“Fair point, I wouldn’t share mine either.”

And with that, they ate in peace, savoring not just the food but the moment itself. It had been a very chaotic day, but their smiles of contentment was proof it’s what made them a great match.

And it worked for them, so who’s to say they’re a disaster together?

Taglist: @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts

[ihatetaxes99]

THE YAKUZA AND THE PHOENIX - A BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA FANFICTION

"See, the problem with people like you," Commented the cool, sanitised yet utterly terrifying voice of Kai Chisaki as he kneeled down just in the very corner of the hero's peripheral vision. "Is that you relied far too much on that disgusting disease that plagues every last vein in your Godforsaken body. Maybe if you had just thought ahead a little… Has this illness robbed you of your senses, too? Left you as useless as a newborn? Not that it matters. It's far too late by now for any part of you to begin thinking about what could have been. I mean, just take a look around." He raised one hand to adjust his mask, while using the other to gesture to the scene around the two, one filled with flame and destruction. "If you had thought to bring police, tried to corner me with rifles, well you might have had some sort of success. I'm not stupid enough to resist against live bullets. But no. Your sickening Quirk has left you with such delusions that you thought you could stand to take me on alone."

The young woman's eyes filled with nothing but pure steel as she looked up at him. There was no fear to be found in the glare she delivered the man known as Overhaul, in spite of the terror bubbling in the pits of her stomach, constantly threatening to rise to the top. But she would not let it. Not in front of this Chisaki bastard, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing he had won.

"No words?" The man sighed, poking her lightly in the head as if to provoke a reaction. "Like a kid who doesn't get their way. Stubborn to the end. What a pain you are. The worst kinds of people are the ones who don't realize they're infected. They have no true redemption in their future. It's kind of weird when you think about it. What a shame… Not that it's any of my concern. I'm more interested in just why you and your ridiculous headgear have been following me around all day. Do you have an answer for that?" He grabbed her by the back of the hair, and pulled her face up to look at his. "I'd prefer an answer as soon as possible, so I can minimise the amount of contact made with your disgusting body."

There was only one way the woman knew she could respond to this and that way landed directly on the suspected Yakuza's forehead. "Why would I tell you anything, asshole? You won't get anything out of the Phoenix."

The man actually audibly growled, like a feral wolf, as he slammed her head into the asphalt. She felt her nose break as blood streamed from it onto the road. It was probably one of the lesser injuries she had incurred that day. Chisaki got to his feet and produced a spotless handkerchief from his pocket, wiping his face of the hero's saliva. "How childish." His voice was full of pure, deep contempt. "How filthy. Were you never taught manners? Are you mentally deficient? Hmph. Not that I should expect any more from a hero who calls themselves the Phoenix. How cliché." With that, he returned to his kneeling position over her limp body, she practically felt his shadow drop over her as the smell of burning embers filled her nose. Were those sirens she heard? They were faint, but what else could they be? Were they coming in her direction? One ear was completely busted up, so she couldn't tell. Looking up to the man who supposedly went by Overhaul, her peripheral vision severely limited by her complete and total lack of a right eye, she found her mind drifting away to the beginning of the day. When things had seemed oh so simple. When she still had all her limbs and when life had generally been more preferable when contrasted against her current predicament.

When had it all gone so wrong?

---------------------

"So, all I have to do is follow the bugger?" Twenty-three year old Misa Kawajiri enquired into her phone as she took small, meticulous sips from her large Coke, sitting atop a rooftop in the very heart of the city, occasionally reaching into the bag next to her to dig out a fry or two and jam them into her mouth. This was the life, no doubt about it. The young woman, who went by the heroic moniker of the Phoenix, was elated whenever she was sent on surveillance patrols by her agency. Most other pro heroes would consider such work to be beneath them, it mostly consisted of hounding tax evaders, low-rent rank-and-file grunts and conmen, there was almost certainly never a tang of excitement to be found. This was the reason most heroes preferred more interesting work and it was the reason why Kawajiri adored such jobs. For her, it was a chance to slow down, chill out and enjoy life at a bit of a slower pace than usual. She definitely was not above having time to unwind and take things at a more reasonable pace. Of course, today's surveillance was already beginning to sound more interesting. It had started out with monitoring some basement-dwelling Otaku who shared anti-hero sentiments on internet forums, so not exactly a thrill ride there, as evidenced by the fact that Misa had left halfway through to get herself a McDonald's. But her new target, as assigned to her by her employers at the agency…

"His name's Kai Chisaki." Rang the cool, clerical voice of Phoenix's supervisor. "Mid to late twenties, germaphobe. He isn't often seen out and about, instead residing largely in the Shie Hassaikai's compound."

"Hassaiaki?" The hero of the sky's ears perked up at that. "He's Yakuza?"

"As far as we know, yes. We can't trace back any records of a family, except for Kazama Chisaki, his uncle, who was also associated with the organization before his death, although not as a full member."

"Interesting…" The girl pondered. "So, why are we following him, then? The Hassaikai have a good reputation, right?" Her words were slightly muffled as she jammed more fries in her mouth at that moment than was probably reasonable.

"That they do, Phoenix. They're underground. There have been search warrants on the premises before, but nothing suspicious was turned up. They're a Yakuza group in name only right now, nothing worth worrying about. But Chisaki? He's different. You're going to be following him for reasons unrelated to his activity within the clan."

"Oh?" Misa cupped her free ear with her hand so that she could better hear the man on the other end of the phone.

"In short, we have reasons to believe he's been peddling Trigger behind the backs of his bosses. Obviously, I don't need to tell you about that."

She nodded, although that was a tad redundant, considering the voice on the other end could not see her. The experimental drug known for its Quirk-bolstering properties was nothing to trifle with, and it had only grown more popular in recent time. "Why do you think he's doing so?"

"Money, probably. Who knows with these criminal types? The point remains that we have reason to believe he's out and about today. I've sent you an image of him on your phone. Follow him, see what he's up to. When a hermit like him comes out of the woodwork, it can never be good. Not for anybody." And with that, her superior hung up, leaving Misa to her own thoughts. In being left this way, she dug her knees up tucked under her chin and sulked for a bit, confident that nobody could see her act in such a childish manner, taking the odd glance at the image. He was a shockingly handsome young fellow, with sharp yellow eyes, ruffled brown hair and a suit, he looked the part of any well-meaning businessman. The only weird aspect was the steampunk-esque plague doctor mask clamped around his mouth. She shrugged it off as probably having something to do with his Quirk, whatever that was.

"This sucks." She groaned as she reached for her helmet, which mostly served as a fancy shell to hold the visor that shielded her eyes from the wind. "I don't wanna have to pursue Yakuza drug dealers, it's just no good. Give me a fat, tinfoil hat loser ranting about conspiracies any day. Surveillance is supposed to be a break from the hard stuff. But nooo, it just has to be more of it, doesn't it?" She sighed, the air whistling over her lips, as she tossed aside her empty bag. Stretching upwards, allowing her skintight suit to hug her body, she felt her wings extend from her body. It was always a glorious sensation to be felt, the pure rush of it all. She adored it beyond belief, the best part of the job. With a cheeky grin, the young hero spread her arms…

… And let herself fall from the building's roof.

---------------------

Filthy. The very lot of them, surrounded by filth and dirt and all manner of unpleasantries. It was enough to break young Kai Chisaki out in hives, it truly was. Absolutely repulsive. How horrendous to have to walk amongst the common people, all of them no doubt inflicted with that despicable illness. As he made his way down the crowded high street, bumping into the occasional commuter, he felt the irresistible urge to lift up the sleeve of his green coat and scratch at the lumps on his arm. Urgh. The very lot of them, disgusting. He was rapidly remembering why he vastly preferred to remain indoors. And yet, he had to do this. He couldn't entrust mere goons with carrying out the mission, not even the Eight Precepts of Death. This had to be done by him and him alone. He felt the cold metal rub against his stomach from the inside pocket of his coat. What depraved things that guns were. Alas, they were a necessary evil, and still far better than Quirks. As he walked, he had no clue of the eyes following him as he did so. Misa Kawajiri worked fast and had found him in mere minutes. Was he aware of this, he would almost have applauded her.

Key word: Almost.

"He's carrying some sort of briefcase..." The girl noted to herself as she watched him. Luckily, his mask made him very distinctive for anyone who may be looking for him, so she had not had much trouble. "Is that relevant to whatever he's up to?" The questions were racing through her head in spite of her better judgement. She couldn't help but wonder about the good-looking, well-dressed young fellow with Yakuza ties. It was all so odd to her, and new. She didn't often run into anything so… exciting, was probably the word. And normally, Phoenix abhorred exciting. But something about it just seemed alluring. Maybe it was more the man than the danger, who really knew? Certainly not her.

…

DAMN.

Wrapped up in her own little thoughts, Kawajiri had lost Chisaki. He had seeped into the crowd. That wasn't good, not good at all. Not even wasting a second, Misa once again extended her wings and took off into the air, in search of the fellow she was shadowing. Stupid Misa, she cursed herself. How had she been so stupid? She really needed to focus more. Her eyes scanned the surroundings as she flew over an alleyway that served as a gap between two buildings.

And in that very alleyway, Kai Chisaki now stood, facing a triage. They were common street thugs, Overhaul had done his research. Nothing big, they were unheard of, just worthless druggies with not a thing to their names and a whole heap of desperation for power, power that they had no clue what to do with. In other words, the perfect suckers to lure in.

"Gentlemen." The distinguished Yakuza bowed. The goons showed no such respect in return. Was it really so hard to show the baseline politeness required of a person? These kinds of people pissed him off the most. Fortunately, the mask obstructed his grimace as he set the silver case on the ground and entered in a combination. A few seconds passed and then it clicked open. "Here's your bloody Trigger. Ten vials, enough to give the three of you a bolster in your path- In your Quirks for up to forty-eight hours. If you have any questions, I would advise you ask now."

The thugs all shared looks with one another. They appeared satisfied at the very least, yet the one in the middle, a big guy with muscles to rival All Might- Well, the former All Might- seemed incredulous to some degree. 

"So, what yer tellin' us, Chisaki-"

"I would prefer if you called me Overhaul."

"-Right. Sorry." His accent was just thick enough to get under the Yakuza's skin. "Yer sayin' that we don' hafta pay for any of this?"

To this, Kai shrugged. "Consider it a first-time buyer's guarantee. If you want more later down the line, that's when you'll have to start paying me. Otherwise, take it." He kicked the briefcase, sending it sliding towards the men. "It's all yours." For a moment, it seemed like the huge guy was about to protest, but at looking at the vials, his greed got the better of him, and he allowed a wide grin to overcome his face, no doubt imagining what his improved Quirk would be like. Disgusting animal.

"Pleasure doin' business with ya, Mr. Overhaul." He gloated as he picked up the case, his cronies hovering around him as they sneaked looks at the drug. Now was probably the best time to strike, while they were blinded by their own pathetic delusions of grandeur.

"Likewise." Chisaki responded, reaching into his coat, as if trying to find a cigarette. "Say, you three, have you ever wondered what society would be like without Quirks? How far we could have advanced by now if we hadn't had to restart everything to accommodate the idea of superpowers?" The men stared at him like he was mad, which was to be expected. "It's just something I've been thinking about." He admitted as he pulled the gun from his coat and aimed it squarely at the large man's head. "Let's test it out. You'll survive, of course."

"What the fuck?" The scumbag growled as he dropped the case in shock. "You pullin' a gun on us? Guess what, you skinny prick? It's three on one. Shoulda thought about that before pullin' a betrayal!"

"Probably." Kai noted nonchalantly as he took aim and fired.

The bullet ricocheted up against a wall in the alley as the metallic weapon was knocked from his hand by a kick. And not a kick from one of the steroided-up goons. No, one aimed from above.

"Looks like I caught you boys in the act." Phoenix grinned as she stood, legs firmly apart, eying up Kai. "Trying to betray the dudes you're selling drugs to really isn't a great idea, I must add." 

…

Filthy…

Sickening….

"WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE??!!" Kai Chisaki screamed, his voice carrying high up into the sky as he stared down the hero, his pupils small and mad in their sockets. "HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME??!! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU??!!" He was completely enraged, sweat pouring from his forehead as he grasped at his hair. "DISGUSTING, DISGUSTING, DISGUSTING!!" He appeared to be on the receiving end of a full-on breakdown. All this over being kicked in the hand? No, it couldn't just be that. Already, the receivers of the Trigger had fled, stolen briefcase in hand. It really had been their lucky day.

"Woah, calm down, Chisaki-"

"Who gave you the right to call me that?!" He demanded, his voice slightly softer now. "And do you have any idea how difficult those bullets were to manufacture? I simply cannot afford to waste them!" Turning his back on Kawajiri, he picked up the gun, examining it for damages, and then wiped it clean with his white surgical gloves.

"Hey, creep! Stay right where you are!" Misa was petrified. She truly was. Something about this guy just was not right at all. She had been told he was a major germaphobe, but was it this bad? Enough to push him into insanity at a moment's touch? "You're under arrest for possession distribution of illegal narcotics." She was basically reading off the rulebook, saying what she was supposed to say in such situations. But nothing about this felt normal. Why was he so focused on the gun? "Stand down and await for police transport."

"You think I would heed such commands from a filthy piece of scum like yourself?" Suddenly, Kai was cool, clinical, yet again as he calmly pointed the gun in her direction. Phoenix nearly felt her heart stop. "Maybe you'll make a better test subject." His finger tightened on the trigger of the handgun. Misa had no time to think, no time to plan.

She simply ran forwards, charging the villain as he steadied his aim. Another loud bang echoed from the gun. She felt it tear her suit as it whizzed past her, but she managed to just barely evade it. Now, she was too full of adrenaline to stop, as she ploughed towards Chisaki. As she drew closer, she reached out, grabbing for his arm… She had to restrain him and fast.

"DON'T LAY YOUR FILTH-ENCRUSTED FINGERS ON ME FOR EVEN A SECOND!!" Overhaul yelled, back to unconcealed rage, as he slammed his hand down onto the ground. From nowhere, burst large columns of rock from beneath the concrete, sending the heroine flying back a few inches and separating the two. 

"Woah..." Was this his Quirk? She hadn't seen anything like it before. The rock wall stretched all the way up, totally shielding the Yakuza from her. It twisted up into the blue sky, as far as the eye could see. And then, she heard his voice, once again calm, from the other side.

"You made me use my Quirk." The man stated. "I hate this thing, but you left me with no other option. For that, I truly do feel some sort of hatred for you. So, I suppose I really feel no guilt in using you as my little guinea pig." Then, he fell silent again, as Phoenix paced around, trying to look for some sort of opening in the wall. Suddenly, she heard a rush of wind behind her and snapped around her head just fast enough to see Overhaul rushing at her. Now, Kawajiri had no clue just what his Quirk did yet, but she figured letting him touch her was a bad idea, so she took off into the air, hovering out of his reach.

"So, a flight Quirk, eh?" Chisaki sighed. His hair was ruffled, the purple fur on his coat torn in places and his bleach white tie flicking wildly with the motion from his rapid movements. "I must admit, I've never been great with moving targets." Once again, the pistol was out, pointed at her. No, she shouldn't panic. Judging from earlier, whatever bullets he loaded the thing with were very precious and so, he wouldn't waste them unless he knew there was a guaranteed chance of hitting her. She was safe for now.

She realized she had been foolish to think that even as the spiked column of rock dug itself up from the ground and impaled her right through the stomach, sending her back, right out of the alley and into the streets outside. She heard a scream as she slammed into a car, feeling the metal crunch behind her. Her vision was hazy, like that of a drunk, but she could still make out the suited villain walking slowly towards her as civilians fled the area. Well, all except for one man, who clearly realized that Kai was up to no good and tried to charge him. Without even looking in his direction, his gaze fixed on Misa, Overhaul's arm made contact with the brave man's chest and he exploded into nothingness.

"What the hell?!" Phoenix yelled. She felt like throwing up at the man's remains splattered the asphalt So this Quirk… It could erect pillars of rock, reduce humans to nothing, what was it exactly? She couldn't even think straight in her current state to try to decipher the answer.

"Isn't it kind of weird how people always try to act the hero? I've noticed that. I swear, this world has been poisoned beyond belief. Can I even cure it? Is that possible?" She felt cold metal as the bastard jammed the gun into her gaping mouth. "All I know is that I can try my very best. Starting here. You'll be my first patient, my girl. The first to be cured."

"Bite me." She hissed as she aimed a kick at his side, which somehow connected, winding the Yakuza just long enough for Misa to stagger to her feet. It felt like she had multiple broken ribs. Those could wait. "I think I get your shtick now. You think Quirks are disgusting or something, right? Yeah, just like any of those Creature Rejection Clan nutjobs. But you think you can bring an end to them, right?" She coughed up some blood onto her fist as she held Chisaki's gaze. "Well, think again, dickwad. You really think that you're some great saviour. I dunno what you have planned, but it sure as hell won't be anything that won't see you crushed like the pathetic little man you are!" And with that, she took flight again, aiming a kick at his head.

Before she even knew it, another column had travelled right through her left eye with a fleshy squealtch, blood coating the rock as she hurtled backwards, her fall stopped by a large vehicle that the rock pinned her to.

"Jesus… That it?" She spat, as Kai approached her yet again, his eyebrows raised in amusement. Then, he stepped backwards. Then again. Then, he spun around and started walking away. Misa was completely taken aback. "What?! You just leaving, you limp-dicked bastard? That ain't how a saviour acts, is it? Running away from a fight?" Her attempts at provocation did nothing to stop him and when the young woman tilted her head just a little, she saw why.

"Ah-" She started, before the oil tanker she had been pinned to exploded. The shockwave could be felt for blocks to come, glass shattered from the skyscrapers above as the world was thrown upside down. Everything went white for Misa Kawajiri, then black.

---------------------

Damn. That really had escalated quickly. And now, the pro hero lay, amongst the rubble, with one eye, a busted ear, no legs and a stump of an arm. The Yakuza stood above her. 

"I'll be willing to overlook your blatant lack of manners." Overhaul growled as he resumed his kneeling position. "In fact, I'll let you be saved. I'll be the one to save you. Isn't that something? A sickening power-infected freak like you, given a second chance by a humble Yakuza. And after everything you've done to me. You have been one hell of an annoyance. But, I guess you'll have started to make it up to me if Eri's little bullets end up working." The girl felt metal press into her side. Why was he so eager to shoot her? It must have something to do with whatever he was planning. The last thing Misa Kawajiri heard was the crack of a gunshot, the last thing she felt was the pain of the bullet entering her body, and then, she fell still. A second or two passed before Kai hovered his hand over her head.

"All going well, you have been deprived of your filthy Quirk." He noted, more to himself as the hero was now deeply unconscious. "Now, just to fix you up." He pushed his hand down on her and the woman's body blew apart in a spectacular show of blood and gore. Just a few seconds later, it reassembled, all limbs, eyes and anything else re-attached. With a satisfied nod, the man got to his feet.

"You'll live peacefully for the rest of your days." He told her, turning his back on her and walking away from the destruction that lay sprawled out like the play area of a particularly deranged and angry child, as if it had just been another day at the office, adjusting his tie. "No Quirk, no heroics, no excitement. I hope you're cut out for a desk job, Phoenix. It's all you have in your future. You're welcome."

[revelaare]

Shit said in the Crimson Discord & VC, taken out of context part 2, (the sequel)

Big NSFW warning, probably

his meat slid off and then slid right back on

[PRONOUN] can punch me in my uterus and make a hammock out of my ovaries

it’s one of the worst fucking things i’ve ever heard, and i’ve heard someone literally shit their pants

they tagged me and my ass clenched

this man just said “I want to eat ur ass and then kiss you” ok buddy

a man with a plan

my grandpa is texting his hoes from his flip phone

god my lawyer was a hit but idk if she will be the chosen one or not

hello give me your toenails

i'll touch you in a non-weird way

he was in that movie with the people, he was the human.

i want her to brush my hair

If we have dick glasses they have to be of the highest quality for the best experience

i don't wanna watch that white nonsense

i would throat him like a fine wine

these millenials can't live without ac? back in my day we lived on the sun

yall better put those goats on a wheel, tell them to start running

he looks like a bitch

yes or no, u wud punch the light bulb out of thomas edisons wrinkly pruned hand and asked him if he believed in god

still has skin and a working body

i needed to wait until my voice changes

you thought i was snacking on joe biden’s savory meat stick

barack guckin oglizzy, oguckma, barack osugma, Joe choden, OglchnnngggHHHYynnUUUnnghhma

why did i have a dream that i was taking the lid off my car

false gods require wine, real gods require coochiefice

fettucine wet ass pussy

that was all you sent me. the picture of a raccoon and then nothing

it isn’t hate, it is ‘continuously let down by’.

i never went to school who science

i’m gunna go peer pressure my mum into a shot

thank you for furthering my career at hot topic

i will suck the ingrown hair off of him

it has huge jackman in it

i chomped on this eggshell, got my calcium in for the day

i will take you to touch the mango

i want to see all the big things

[PRONOUN] has collar bones so deep you could hook a clothing hanger into it

no asscheeks in fucking family chat you animals

he will eat you alive and suck out your intestines like its a spaghetti noodle

[NAMES]’s Tiggle Biddie’s

dropped acid, cried the whole night.

my stomach is hooping and hollering, i’m about to eat some sleep

you want my throatsac ??

please dont know me as the toenail eater

you have to keep the skin on one side while you eat the other, thats basic mango physics

i mean he is some good sasuage

calm down dick Hannibal

respectfully, what the fuck is this

tbf i only eat my steaks where they need tampons

you committed acts of culinary terrorism

does your refrigerator whimper and cower in the corner when you approach it. that's your fridge trying to use echo location to locate a safe space

thundercuck

i almost met Jesus, I almost got an autograph. Almost got a greatest hits signed album.

respectfully, are you smoking fucking crack?

my left testicle could play better than you

i’ll eat him with ketchup

son of a biscuit eating bulldog!

now it’s back to me sucking, all is right in the world.

holy fuck weasels.

holy fuck, weasels!

why does the bad guy look like the Statue of Liberty?

this is a man that sometimes willingly dresses like a lumberjack

and me, being an emotional cripple, must make jokes about this.

hey my name is [NAME] i'm **definitely** who i say i am

[NAME OR PRONOUN] offered a back massage by calling it the “tickle thing”

i love a man who puts his parents in a nursing home.

my brain is going to take a hot shower

wait have u seen steve harvey's coochie

if it were me i would simply not be pregnant

look im not about to be out here saying i love [NAME OR PRONOUN] feet, but i am about to be out here saying that their feet are some of the nicest feet i've seen in a long time

i named my cloyster renesmee

[NAME] was texting me from the bathtub

you’re pregnant? That’s unfortunate.

do I say dumb shit? Perhaps. Do I take ownership? Perhaps.

i pay for things in blissful ignorance

i am an emotional vagrant

i am an emotional fragrance

to make a long motherfucking story short...

this enchilada tastes like asshole and sadness

you are not an ugly bitch, you’re just a bitch

that’s not a nut shot, buddy.

i’m sad because i sucked the meat off of this pumpkin spice latte

i want to make a blanket out of his eyebrows

what are you disgracing my Christian eyes for?

he be looking at that dick like why does it go so much to the left?

I want her to record an audio book for me so I can fall asleep listening to her voice.

Can I lick you like an ice cream cone? Asking for science.

like you're out to lunch with your bromie and you're eating some rubens or something and you wistfully look over the rim of your sunglasses and just: You ever buss 2 fast

my accent is flaccid

timotay chalamaymay’s sweet ass

on the bright side mcallister’s gave me 3 pickle spears. Almost enough to make a whole pickle.

you think they came from the same mommy pickle?

HIS DOODLE IS OUT

i thot that meant [NAME] wanted to...doodle his noodle

i don’t use commas, i don't respect u enough, fuck ur reading comprehension.

does australia have seasons

i want someone to embalm my body with mcdonalds sprite

his hermione grangina

purrrr my last email

its lore locked beneath 30 layers. u can only understand it if uve had a near death experience

LET'S GET FUCKY

i wanna have the heart of a stoner

his man titties look like little tattooed pillows

SWIGGITY SWOOTY COMIN FOR THAT BOOTY

there were no cheeks to shake. nothing to clap. no noise to be had from her literal slices of wonderbread

u ever just fuck around and ur tits fart

put a lil mint leaf on it for authenticity

alright brother god bless may u be fertile

i feel like im being advocated for something i shouldnt be advocating for

and i am adam with my fat pendulous balls lol

i’m making whuppie with whoopie godberg

theodore tits fart rex

yeah man do u also have the third toe on ur shoulder

the green spaghetti monster is coming for me and i can't blame him

today i learned starfish do not poop

that was nothing compared to some other things I saw

listen I'd willingly watch [NAME/PRONOUN] in a cell for 24 hours. Imagine that sounded less creepy

i'd lick a dirty flip flop off her abs

i’m tempted to show you all the gravity defining boobs, maybe tomorrow

my brain is on vacation

good morning! i ate breakfast and im ready to go to bed

tape the titty in

ive unironically had nightmares with [NAME] in them

the peanut in the auditory canal

so far this feel all comfortable, does this all make sense?

i know it's kind of a schlep to get through

nail polish or no nail polish for the shower?

and then he saw those big tt honkerz... and it all went down hill from there

can y’all stop chanting curses in the chat my furniture is stuck on the ceiling

EH?! CIAO? HELLO??

in Russia this is not ok 

i can’t buy pants here on Sunday either

IT'S LIKE TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS TO EAT ON A SOGGY PANCAKE

imagine me going up to [NAME/PRONOUN] and being like i love the way ur flesh smells

in a supermarket. The sickly blue light where humans congregate. Animal human masses. Nameless faces. Whole lives boiled into generalized categories like "asshole who definitely does need 4 boxes of cheerios". Yout hink and realize while stabding in line u didnt grab the bag of frozen peas...but its 2 late

its truly the only picture that gives me pure joy

are weasels real

my work mum just messaged me the phrase "use your booty call wisely" with no context

"let's bring u to the mustache chair"

If you’re not doing coke under the coke sign what is the point?

[cobaincreates]

simple sentence

warnings: f l u f f i want this so bad

count: 3.2k

bless tany for this gif

kinda feeling this song for them, not entirely sure but check it out!

— — —

your heart was racing as you plopped down in your chair and searched for something to drink. you needed to catch your breath as everyone else danced on the floor in the center of the banquet hall. it was getting warmer and warmer so you started to fan yourself with your hand. you sipped the glass of champagne you thanked a waiter for and looked toward the large mass of family enjoying their time. it made the brightest grin spread on your face as you trained your eyes on a particular husband dancing with two little nephews of yours.

joe had taken his suit jacket off and draped it over the chair beside you about two hours ago. he hadn’t stopped dancing yet. you really couldn’t blame him, the wedding playlist was a whole soundtrack of your teenage years. you knew every word to every song that played through the speakers. joe seemed to have new moves for every song too.

your eyes lit up when he caught your gaze and he couldn’t help but grin. he said something to his nephews and they ran off to someone else before joe turned toward you and made his way out of the crowd.

“you know my sister will not be happy when she sees you sitting down,” joe reminded you.

“i just needed a breather,” you said and held out your hand for him to take as he was a couple steps away.

he sat down in his chair and leaned over to give you a sweet peck on the cheek. “you okay?”

“yes, i’m okay.”

your cheeks were starting to ache from smiling so much at him. you always found yourself doing so whenever your eyes were on him, and it wasn’t just the champagne from tonight. even when your eyes weren’t on him and he popped into your head, you’d be grinning endlessly. your chest would feel like it was ready to burst just at the mention of his name.

joe kept your hand in his lap while he picked up his untouched glass of water and took a long sip. dinner was long over, but your stomach growled for something to eat. you hadn’t had much throughout the day before the ceremony and you managed to fill yourself up on the nicely made dinner, but it must not have been enough.

“oh, we’re so going back out there,” joe groaned as a new song played. neither of you could resist it, so you let him pull you up and back toward the floor happily.

the words were already on your tongue as joe took your other hand and moved his shoulders in a shimmy. you both moved to the beat and sang the words to one another, all the while having fun with it. a few of joe’s cousins moved closer to you two and joined in as they jumped around. there was one moment where you grabbed onto joe’s tie to pull him closer, then immediately laughed. he enjoyed it much more than you thought and kept his hands attached to your hips.

you had belted out the lyrics so loudly, you throat felt a bit raw by the time another song came on. joe hugged you around your waist and you felt thankful for a slow song finally. your legs needed another break.

“you look beautiful.”

“you’ve told me a few times tonight already.” you cupped joe’s cheek and leaned toward him for a kiss. you were then interrupted by a tug at your dress and you looked down to find your nephews fighting each other over who got to dance with you. it surprised you that they weren’t tired yet. you moved away from joe and bent down to their height to help them figure it out. “how about we all hold hands so both of you can dance with me?” you suggested and that seemed to be doable to them as they nodded.

joe left you to dance with them and you swayed from side to side while holding their hands. as you watched the little ones below you, you couldn’t help the overwhelming sensation that came over you. a simple thought had passed by in your head and now it was all you could think about. it didn’t make your soft smile falter however, which was a good thing as you thought about it more. you then looked up and searched through the room for joe. you found him sitting at the table, watching you with a look of adoration. his head was against his hand and he looked tired from the night’s activities.

when the song ended, you let the boys run off before you went over to joe. he reached out and stroked the material of your silky dress when you stood in front of him.

“ready to go home?” your stomach flipped as he looked up at you. you hadn’t had nerves around him in years, not since you were teenagers. but you knew that it was because of your small realization. you couldn’t bring it up with him now though, it wasn’t the right time.

joe nodded and you both grabbed your things before saying goodnight to the whole family, and the bride and groom. your nephews were sad to see you both go, but you promised them you’d have them over soon for a movie night.

the air was chilly as you walked outside toward joe’s car parked the furthest away and still heard the celebration going on inside. joe’s arm was wrapped around your waist loosely after he draped his jacket over your shoulders. once you got into the car and he started it with a bit of heat coming on, he turned to you.

“think we can stop somewhere for food?”

“took the words right outta my mouth,” you commented and gave him a nod.

joe wasn’t inebriated in the slightest, having paced himself through the night knowing that he was going to be the one to bring you both home safely. there had been plenty of nights you shared where you switched off on who would be the designated driver and each night was always something new. this one, you both were just hungry and ready to eat the worst possible food imaginable.

joe stopped at a mcdonald’s, pulling up to the drive-thru. there was only only other car for this time of night and you both took a look over the menu as you decided what to get.

“think they have champagne?” you wondered aloud. the taste still lingered on your tongue.

joe turned to you with a laugh and shook his head. “i don’t think so, bub.”

“i bet they’d get a lot more customers if they did.”

he nodded his head with a grin as he moved to car up to order. he asked for a big mac and a medium fry for you both to share, along with a cup of coke. you leaned over the console to order yourself, which was unusual since you normally told joe what you wanted beforehand. first, you asked why they didn’t have champagne, earning an awkward chuckle from the worker behind the bright screen. joe laughed and apologized on your behalf, which you ignored as you said what you wanted to eat.

joe parked the car in an empty spot once you two had gotten a bag full of burgers and fries. you dove straight for the fries, smacking joe’s hand playfully when he tried to reach in for his burger.

“you’re an animal,” he chuckled.

“no, i’m just hungry.”

you both took your respective burgers out of the bag and opened them up in your laps to start eating. joe set the fries on the center console between you and your first bite tasted better than you thought. normally you didn’t eat mcdonald’s, but after all the champagne you had over the last few hours, it tasted like heaven.

“did you have fun tonight?” joe asked as he sipped his drink. you held out your hand for it when he was done and took a quick sip. it was big enough for you to share one and you just liked to share things with him.

“of course. i’m so happy. it was such a nice wedding. she looked so beautiful.” you sighed, remembering how joe’s cousin had walked into the church all decked out in her long flowing dress and her hair and makeup all done for the special day. all day you had spent gushing over how perfect she looked. “god, remember when that was us?”

“i do, yes.”

“i miss that day. that was the best day ever. can we go back?”

“maybe we can just have another one?”

“oh, no. that’d be a nightmare.” you shook your head fast.

“why?” he laughed mid bite.

“do you know how stressed i was? i was freaking out thinking you’d get cold feet or i’d get cold feet. i thought i was going to throw up or fart or something during our vows.” joe cracked up, throwing his head back in laughter. you really were so nervous that day. you had thought so many times of how you wouldn’t blame him if he got cold feet and left you. but you were really glad he didn’t. “i was scared shitless. i don’t want to go through that again. i just want to relive it.”

“that’s kind of the same thing, bub.”

“no, it’s not.”

“it is, but you’re right.”

you giggled at his agreement with you and continued to eat your late night pit stop snacks in silence. you looked over at him a few times and reveled in the moment of how you two were dressed, having just come from a wedding and we’re now in a parking lot of mcdonald’s. you felt like a teenager again, always on some kind of adventure with him.

“love you.” you cooed after a few moments, chewing on the last bit of your burger.

joe smiled and met you halfway to peck your lips quickly. he then brought out his phone from his pocket and turned in his seat as he tapped through the screen. “hold up the bag for me and smile.”

“i have food in my mouth.”

“and yet you’re still talking with a mouth full.” he teased.

“oops, sorry.” you muttered and covered your mouth for a moment as you chewed the rest quickly. “wait, wait!” you shouted when the flash startled you, making joe laugh. “okay, now redo.” you held up the bag and smiled sweetly as you showed it off, joe’s jacket still draped over your shoulders. you closed your eyes since you always hated the flash on the phones since they were so damn bright and nearly blinded you every time.

once the photo was taken, you leaned over the console and put your cheek against joe’s shoulder to watch him type out a quick caption. it always made you smile and freak out a little when he’d post photos of you online— still to this day.

“post wedding snack with this one. she’s pretty upset that mcdonald’s doesn’t serve champagne and i’m pretty upset at how pretty she is,” he wrote and posted the photo.

“aw,” you cooed and shoved a couple fries in your mouth.

once everything was gone and thrown out, joe drove you two home in the quiet. there were hardly any other cars out at this time of night and you were starting to feel tiredness seep in. joe’s thumb was rubbing against yours in your lap and you’d close your eyes every so often as the engine hummed below you. your realization from earlier came to mind and you so badly wanted to say something. before you could, joe was pulling his hand away to find the garage opener.

the house greeted you warmly when you walked inside and you instantly kicked your shoes off, sighing at the sudden relief. you hadn’t really noticed it all through the night, but you could go for a massage.

both you and joe made your way through the house and toward your bedroom so you could change into your pajamas. you hung joe’s jacket back up in the closet and went into the bathroom to wash your face and pull your hair up in a ponytail. you brushed your teeth then walked out to find joe not in the bedroom. you pulled your dress off along with your bra and replaced it with one of joe’s old t-shirts.

joe was in the kitchen drinking a glass of water with just a pair of sweatpants on. you smiled as you walked up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist, giving his back a kiss.

“lookin’ good, hot stuff.” you commented as you moved around him to get yourself a glass. this was normally what the two of you did before bed, you both downed a glass of water.

“i could say the same about you.” he pulled you against his side with a smirk. “you come here often?”

you laughed and nodded up at him. “i live here actually. with my husband. he should be home any minute.”

“why don’t we ditch this popsicle stand and leave him in the dust? i think you’ll have a fun time with me.”

“oh, really? i don’t know he’s got some killer dance moves that nobody’s ever seen.��

“i promise you mine are better than some foot shuffles and flailing arms.”

“care to enlighten me then? before he gets home, of course.”

“i’d be happy to.” he took your hand into his and pulled you toward the bedroom. you brought your glasses with you and laid over the covers to get ready for the little show. “give me a good one,” joe pointed at you as you scrolled through your phone for a song to play.

you couldn’t resist the giant smile that came onto your face as the song played and joe started moving his hips. your stomach was aching by the time the first minute got through and you were glad you had set the glass down on the bedside table. your eyes were watery when the song finished and joe was done moving around the room and making the most of the space he was given.

“how’d i do?” he breathed heavily, leaning himself against the edge of the mattress.

“very impressive,” you wiped at your eyes. “maybe you can teach that to my husband when he gets home.”

joe grinned and jumped onto the bed to hover over you for a kiss. you cupped his face and placed your lips over his, pecking him a couple times as he made himself comfortable on you. he placed his head over your chest as he calmed down from his dance routine. you softly brushed through his hair as he laid there and you both felt closer to falling asleep. but that little thought came back to you and wouldn’t stop nagging until you spit it out.

“hey you,” you said softly and touched his cheek.

“hey me,” he replied with a quick peck to your palm.

“i have to tell you something.”

the nerves spiked in your stomach as he lifted his head with intrigue written all over his face. you smiled softly at him, watching him closely as he moved and looked all around your face.

“okay. tell away.”

you breathed deeply as he set his chin on the center of your chest. you bit your lips anxiously as he waited for you and you were so close to convincing yourself to just say anything else. but you knew if you didn’t get it out now, you’d regret it. and how could you look into those beautiful eyes and not say what you wanted to? joe always made you feel that you could tell him anything, so why stop now?

you licked your lips and touched his other cheek, stroking the stubble lightly. joe had grown anxious while waiting for you and his eyebrows were now set deeper into his forehead. you finally said to hell with it and pushed it out of yourself.

“i want to have a baby with you.”

the lack of sudden response had you on edge, but you knew it was a big step. of course it was always a thought in your relationship from the moment you made a commitment, but neither of you had spent too much time talking about it. you knew joe wanted kids someday and you always saw that during every moment he spent with his nephews. tonight it was different when you watched them while you were dancing. that desire washed over you so quickly and set so deeply into your bones. even just the thought had you choking up from excitement. so many thoughts and images ran through your head of a little family you’d make with your husband. you were finally ready for that.

“are you serious?” joe asked slowly and sat up on the other side of the bed. you weren’t sure if he was excited or scared shitless.

you nodded with a laugh and sat up too. the excitement closed your throat up again. he’d be a beautiful father. “i think we’ve put it off long enough, don’t you? we’ve been together, what? five years now?”

joe watched you closely as you spoke, shocked and not knowing what the hell to say. it was obvious he had been waiting for this moment forever and now that it was here, he didn’t know how to react.

“you’d be the best dad in the whole world.” his throat tightened at the comment and you put your hand over his when you saw the little twitch in his face. “i can see it when you’re with your nephews and how much you focus on them and what they need and you’re always trying to please them while also being the fun uncle. you have so much love in there, joe, it’s crazy,” you laughed and put a hand over his chest.

you waited a moment to see if he had anything to say and when he didn’t, you went on. “frankly, it freaks me out sometimes,” you admitted. “how is it possible to have so much?”

joe’s eyes had glossed over now and your heart sunk at the sight. he wasn’t somber and you weren’t making him upset. his chest was just filling with that same kind of love.

“i can see it whenever you look at me and i want our tiny little human to feel that too. i want to have a baby with you, joseph.”

joe broke his frozen position and kissed you deeply, holding the back of your head. you couldn’t help but grin against him, your hand moving from his chest to cup his cheek.

“you’re amazing, you know that?”

“i love you so much.”

he pulled you back in and this time kissed you passionately, breathing deeply. his throat was starting to relax now as the excitement set in even though he still couldn’t believe everything you said. he never thought he’d cry over the fact of you saying those words to him, but here he was having shed a few tears.

“when can we start?” he pulled away for a moment, his breath hot on your face.

“right now,” you grinned.

[scullyy]

Days With You / Chapter Two

Title: Days With You / Chapter One, Chapter Two

Pairing: Clementine x Louis

Word Count: 1770

Summary: Louis and Clementine are trying to keep their new relationship a secret, but they’re not doing a very good job.

A/N: I’ve never been to a bar what’s it like, also aye finally got part two up let’s get this bread

-

It was so obvious, it’s like they weren’t even trying to hide it. With all the subtle touching, bashful looks and just being in constant state of awe with each other, their supposed “secret” relationship was already failing. Everyone shared quick glances, biting their tongues to stop the oncoming laughter everytime Louis and Clementine did something cute.

Aasim coughed to break the silence, reminding Clem and Louis that there were other people around them. “You guys ready to order?” He threw a menu at Louis, who completely ignored it.

Louis cleared his throat, trying to keep a straight face. “There’s no rush my dude, I get the same thing every time-”

“-the nut mix with a glass of Lemon Lime Bitters,” Clementine finished for him, instantly biting her tongue from embarrassment, his order was something no one else in their group had bothered to learn. They all felt it second-hand, except for Louis who just gave her a smile full of sin. Clementine just ignored everyone and stared intently at the menu, despite the fact she wasn’t hungry.

It got quiet again after that, really quiet. Luckily it was karaoke night and a group of drunk young guys decided to sing Under The Sea, making the group laugh in unison. Their over-the-top dancing brought tears to Louis’s eyes. “They are butchering a marvellous song!” The artist in him soaked in pain.

“At least they’re out there having fun,” Violet teased. “You think you could do any better?”

Louis was offended by her lack of belief. “You know who you’re talking to right? I could outplay those guys in my sleep.”

Marlon shoved Violet with a little too much force. “Don’t tempt the guy, it’s hard enough keeping him quiet in Music class as it is.”

Louis was already bouncing in his seat like a giddy child. An opportunity to give them the old’ razzle dazzle? The temptation was too real. “Maybe later, I’m going to the bar to get my nut mix,” Marlon stood to join him, wanting a quiet moment with Louis. They squished through the tight crowd of people. Of course, they had to go on Ladies Night. Marlon awkwardly tapped his foot against the wooden floor as Louis tried to get the bartender's attention amongst the crowd of drunk women. “Can I ask you something Lou?”

“Whatever it was I didn’t do it,” He babbled, already having a brief idea on what the question would be. “Please don’t say it, please don’t say it-” He prayed to himself.

“-Is there something going on between you and Clem? You’ve been acting extra weird since we left the carnival if that’s somehow possible.”

“Fuck!”

Louis eventually got the man's attention and quickly told him the order. He and Clementine made a promise to each other on the Ferris Wheel to keep their budding relationship a secret until they were ready for all the questions and jokes they knew their friends would bombard them with. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Marlon was dissatisfied with that answer but knew that continuing to press him would result in nothing, perhaps a game was in order? Something that Louis understood. “Hey, who's that guy talking to Clem?”

Like lightning, Louis lifted up his head to look at their table, seeing that she was only talking to Omar and Brody. His chest grew heavy with the realisation that he gave Marlon exactly what he wanted. “Not cool dude.” Louis wanted nothing more than to punch his lifelong friend in the dick. Marlon, however, felt a sense of pride having beat Louis at a game for once, even if their walk back to the table was lacking their usual jokes.

“I vote we kick Marlon off the island,” Louis hissed as he sat on the stool beside Clem. “The tribe has spoken!” He slammed his drink onto the table, some of it spilling onto the rickety table.

Marlon kicked him in the shin. “It was a harmless question, Lou.”

Their tension was felt by everyone at the table. “Everything okay?” Clementine asked.

“Yea, just curious about us,” He whispered to her.

Clementine hid her face in her sleeves, her and Louis certainly weren’t doing a good job of hiding their relationship. The feeling was still fresh for her, for both of them. They were riding the high of their conversation on the Ferris Wheel, buzzing off each other’s energy. God never had anything made her feel so girlish and giddy, she had to bite her tongue to stop the squeals.

The next hour flew by without another mention of the two, instead focusing on the brave souls who sang their hearts out on the stage. The kids would still often look back at Clementine and Louis, smiling at how happy and content they were near each other. Such hopeless suckers in love.

Violet, however, was fuelled by her curiosity. How could everyone be so calm about this? They've all been waiting for this relationship since 11th Grade! Sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands…

She tapped a love-struck Clementine on the shoulder, bracing herself for the whiplash she was about to receive. “Hey, Clem, are you and Louis fucking?”

The true Violet way, blunt and to the point. Kinda.

Clementine wanted to climb into her sweater and disappear forever as what Violet asked started to sink in, bringing out a roaring laughter from everyone but Clementine and Louis.

Louis threw one of Mitch’s chips at her nose. “What the fuck is wrong with you Vi?”

“So many things,” Violet smirked like the little imp she was, basking in the intense shade of how red Louis’s cheeks were. It was like they were a new colour. “You gonna answer my question or what?”

Neither of them wanted to answer, but if it meant getting their friends off their back, not that they were or had ever...flipped. This was so much worse than them not knowing. Clementine raised her head, shooting everyone daggers. “Louis asked me on a date when we were at the carnival.”

Violet, Aasim and Marlon stretched out their hands, embracing the money Brody, Mitch, Omar and Ruby gave them. “We made a bet before going to the carnival on who would make the move first,” Aasim smiled down at his ten dollar note, glowing with pride. “You have both been all other each other since high school.”

Louis couldn’t find any words. This was so ridiculous! Had life suddenly turned into a sitcom? Some over-the-top story? “Am I really that predictable?”

It was a choir of ‘yep’, ‘like clockwork’ and ‘yeah pretty much’ from everyone, even Clem joined the tease train, earning a raised eyebrow from Louis. He turned his head eerily slowly to her, causing her to stifle a laugh.

Two can play at that game. “Oh, you’re teasing me now? You’re the one who kissed me on the Ferris Wheel.”

He slammed his hand over his mouth as soon as their secret escaped his mouth, and by the look of Clementine’s face, she was ready to rip his throat out.

“You guys what?!” Screamed Marlon. His best friend? Kissing his other best friend? WHAT?

“Shit,” Louis mumbled into his sweaty palm. “I mean...nothing happened we are all children of Jesus.” He gave everyone a sheepish smile, one that everyone loved so much.

“Fuck off I’m the only one who can make bible jokes,” Violet had earned the right after attending years of bible study with her obnoxious cousins. “Why didn’t you guys say anything?”

“We wanted to keep quiet until we were ready for the jokes and comments you guys would make.” Clementine skulled down the rest of her water, eager to relieve the crack in her voice. It always happened whenever she was embarrassed.

“Guys,” Marlon grabbed Louis’s shoulder, giving him a sense of hope. “We’re going to make fun of you no matter what.”

A false sense of hope.

“We’ve been shipping you guys since high school,” Brody admitted, giving them a bashful smile.

Both Louis and Clementine felt slightly relieved that the worst was now over. Feeling a wave of confidence soar over her, Clem planted a brief kiss on Louis’s cheek, which sent the table into chaos as Louis dramatically swooned into her arms

-

“You ready to go Vi?”

Clementine swung her car keys around her finger, eager to sink into her bed. Violet was focused on a shooting star flying across the rich sky, wishing for Minnie to come back safe and sound.

“Yeah, I need to sleep right now.”

Everyone else made way to their own vehicles, except for Mitch and Ruby, who were walking home. A benefit of not living at the university, you save money on gas.

“Clem,” Louis poked her rough denim jacket, feeling the warmth radiating from her smile. “Sorry that everyone found out so soon. I know you wanted it a secret.”

“I don’t care that much.”

Not an answer he was expecting. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t care that people know, if they laugh then fuck them,” She straightened out a wrinkle in the sleeve of his jacket, making a mental note to teach him how to iron. Her hand lingered over his own, finding a simple pleasure in the slight callouses on his fingers. “Goodnight Louis. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Clementine left him wanting more as she slid into her car, driving back towards school campus, their home away from home. Louis’s chest fell with a heavy sigh, he looked like a confused dragon with the vapour coming out of his mouth.

“Earth to Louis?”

He snapped out of his lust-filled daydream, seeing Marlon leaning against his old truck. “Can we go to McDonald's? I really want a frozen coke.”

Louis snatched the keys from his hand. “I’m driving but.” Marlon yanked them right back, no way in hell would Louis EVER be allowed to drive his car. He could barely ride his skateboard as it is.

“Hey dude,” Marlon wrapped his arm around Louis’s neck, letting his free hand run wild in the soft dreadlocks. “You are one sly dog.”

Louis pulled himself free, only laughing due to his ticklish nature. “Now now Marlon. I promise you’ll be the first to know when we get engaged.”

Marlon’s pale ears perked up at hearing such a statement. “What do you mean ‘when you get engaged’?”

“What I mean is,” Louis open his door yet hung out in the cold, looking down the road that Clementine drove down, grin as wide and bright as the Cheshire Cat. “I’m gonna marry her someday.”

[hollands-poppet]

Dancing with Our Hands Tied Part 2// Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Tom Holland is your best friend and your roommate, but you both have undisclosed feelings for each other.

Word count: 5K 💛

A/N: Okay, so I had a bit of writer’s block writing this but it was fun writing it..also I’m sort of following the current timeline of what is happening starting a little bit before June of 2018. Also, I was gonna do a taglist but its a lot of work for me and I’m already stressed about it so I’m just not gonna do one for this one. Anyway, enjoy!! One more thing, I want to thank @ladybirduris and @thedaydreamingwriter for helping me guide the story. Love y’all 💛

Warnings: cussing I think, angsty af, fluff and I proofread but not really..italics is flashbacks, and italics and bold is the song the fic is based off of 

Prologue Part 1

-

Y/N had a long shift today, being an on set artist was something that nobody really understood unless you were in that position. She had a gig working on a magazine cover that her friend Jake had booked for her, and it was a nightmare. The star that she had done makeup for was not even worth the mention, they were so rude and mean to all of the crew and especially to Y/N.

Not all celebrities were like that though, you’ve had the proof in front of you all along, your most humble celebrity friends were Zendaya and Tom, and you also happened to be living with them too. When you arrived home that day though, you weren’t expecting for Tom to home early. Well it was actually almost midnight which was kind of early for you to be home but your roommate usually wouldn’t return til the next day if he won’t out with his girlfriend.

Once you entered your flat, you noticed his wallet and keys were on the kitchen counter which was odd. “Tom?” You let out as you close the front door and lock it, putting your bag of McDonalds and your drink next to his items that lie on the counter. “Tom?” You say again as you start unbuttoning your coat, moving your neck in circular motions to relieve the stress.

He wasn’t responding which you didn’t really think much of so you go to your room, and drop your coat on the floor and change into something more comfy. Your pull up your sweats, and your off the shoulder burgundy shirt..this felt like heaven. She slid on her slippers and tied her hair into a bun while walking to the kitchen, and as she starts to dig thru her food, she hears her roommates door open.

“Hey Tom, I got a 40 piece of you’re-” she turns around while holding a box of nuggets only to find him visibly upset, his eyes red from probably crying. He just stands there with his hands in his sweat pockets, breathing in deeply to keep his throat from burning “hey..y/n.”

She sets the nuggets on the counter and quickly makes her to her roommate, her hands landing on his shoulders “Hey hey, are-are you alright?” His hands move from his pockets to your grab your hands, “Yeah, just stupid relationship stuff.”

He clears his throat, “you mentioned a 40 piece?”

Tom moves past you and to the kitchen counter, grabbing a box of nuggets and buffalo sauce. Y/N follows and sits on a stool with her own set of nuggets, “y’know..” you break the silence “we can talk about it if you want.” He dips his nugget into his sauce, and relaxes his shoulders “I just- she is just so- she can’t stand that I’m friends with Zendaya and we can’t help but argue about it each time.”

Y/N sits there and just listens to her friend’s relationship troubles. As a friend who understands where Tom is coming from, she can’t seem to grasp why his partner was making it so complicated when he is truly in love with her. And vice versa for Tom, him and Z were just friends...nothing more. He was tired of always fighting, the nagging and he knew he was falling out of love but it’s hard to let go of somebody you’ve grown close to.

It was almost a routine to Tom, if that makes sense. He didn’t know if he was ready to let go of her, but having you here made him feel better. You didn’t have to buy him nuggets, you didn’t have to sit here and listens to problems but you were. And that was something that he couldn’t be more appreciative of.

Y/N takes a sip of her coke and after she sets it down, reaches across the counter to touch his hand “Tom, you’re an amazing guy..” his eyes shoot up at yours, your touch making him feel some type of way and you knew deep down how you felt about him.

“And..” the only sound besides your voice is a cricket and the cars driving down the street. She wanted to admit it but maybe right now wasn’t that moment to express your feelings. Y/N removes her hand from his, she starts tucking a hair behind her ear “and if she doesn’t realize that she’s pushing you away...then she doesn’t deserve you.”

Tom let’s out a crooked smile, he believed you because he knew he deserved better. It was reassuring especially coming from you, you mattered a lot to him, you’d become his best friend over the last few months so your opinion was important. It wasn’t the exact answer he wanted to hear from you but it would do.

He looked back down at his nuggets, “Uhm, thanks by the way..this food is definitely going to hit the spot.” Y/N takes a bite of a fry, “I got you, Holland.”

You stared at Tom and the ex you’ve known about since you’ve met him, they looked...cute which caused your stomach to turn. The knot in your stomach getting tighter as they both giggled together, you stare at them for a couple of more seconds until you turn on your heels. She shoves her bikini back into her bag, “Harrison, why the fuck would you bring me to a party with HER here?” Y/N emphasizes her as in his ex, as in she who shall not be named.

Haz takes a drink from his beer and puts one of his hands on your shoulders, “We didn’t know she was coming..Tuwaine brought her, Tom didn’t even know she was coming. I swear.” She looks into the blonde’s blue eyes, she could tell he was being honest but she didn’t like the energy she was bringing upon herself from just seeing her that she was in love with. Still, her anxiety was building up inside her chest so she grabs Haz by one of his ears and drags him towards the exit of his backyard.

“Ow, ow..” Haz whispers while in your grasp, his hand goes to your waist and pinches you causing Y/N to let go of his. She turns back around, “Harrison..” she moves towards her with her hands in a praying position, “I need you to take me back to the airport..now!” The blonde’s eyes widen and he nearly chokes on his own spit, “Are you crazy? I’m not doing that, as Tom’s assistant and best friend.. I am not allowing that!” He sets his foot down, beer in hand and his other hand resting on his waist.

Y/N rolls her eyes and chuckles as the same time “You know what, Where’s Zendaya? Maybe a real friend can take me..” She remarks as she pulls out her phone to call her her friend but she didn’t need to, Z was already about two feet away and at that same moment the hairs on her arms literally shoot up as she hears His familiar voice she was trying to avoid. Not because Y/N didn’t want to hear him but she couldn’t face Tom..not right now. Not without a good explanation about why he was talking to his ex. So what does she do? What is her first fucking extinct? What is the first thing she does that she thinks will make her roommate/lover jealous? Her first extinct is to fucking grab her best friend by the face, and plants a kiss right on Z’s lips.

Y/N is immediately pushed off by her friend, Z lets out an awkward chuckle, “Are you on crack?” You try to avoid eye contact with everybody, what the fuck.. you just kissed Zendaya. A mess.

You clench your stomach and keep eye contact on the ground, “I’m gonna be sick.” She pushes past her whole friend group and makes her way into house, blindly looking for the bathroom.

Y/N spots Haz’s mom in the house and asks for the washroom, which she kindly leads you to. As soon as you make it into the restroom, your hands grip the sink. She makes eye contact with herself, “What is wrong with you? What, why did I do that?” She talks to herself in her reflection, why would she even think that kissing Z would make Tom remotely jealous.

The bigger question was WHY WAS HIS EX HERE? That’s all you wanted to know, you hear a knock at the door, “go away.” The knocks get louder, “please go away.”

“y/n...it’s me, open up.”

You decide to open the door when you hear the voice on the other side, it was your friend that you had just kissed.

Zendaya opens the door and slides in, immediately sitting on the sink “dude what happened out there?” You shake your head, and plop yourself on the toilet..head in your hands “I don’t know, I just wanted to make Tom jealous.. I guess.”

She jumps off the sink, and kneels in front of you “You..like him?” Y/N looks up from her palms and into her friend’s face, “I think..I think I love him but like I’m in love with him.” Before she can respond, Y/N

Z immediately hugs you, and as she pulls back she bites her lip “I’m gonna be honest...Tom told me about what happened.” Your eyes shoot open, “Are you serious? Why did you wait until now to say something?”

She scratched her shoulder as she got up from her knees, she was looking down at you “because I didn’t know you loved him in that context, he didn’t-”

Y/N stands up from the toilet seat, “he didn’t what, z?” She doesn’t respond, “Z?”

There is a pause, “I don’t know if he’s in love with you...y/n.” You don’t really react, what did you expect? His girlfriend or ex or whatever she is was here and it made sense, right?

“Is he back with her?” Z shrugs her shoulders, “I’m not sure about that but I can say that she really wasn’t invited. Tuwaine brought her, even Tom was shook to see her to to be honest.”

Y/N figured everyone was being real but it was just an ugly feeling to be in the presence of somebody that you’ve known has hurt the guy you loved.

There is another knock on the door, “go away.” This time Z sort of ignores you and opens the door, Haz coming in with a new beer in hand “I got good news.” He takes a sip he makes his way towards you and throws his arm around your shoulder, “Tom’s ex is gone, Tuwaine and her dipped.”

Zendaya smiles, “See Y/N! You’ll be fine now, you can party comfortably now.”

“I don’t want to party, I just want to go back to the house and sleep.” You remark as you start making your way towards the door, but you’re stopped by Z grabbing your hand, “Y/N, just throw on your bikini and make your way out there..she’s gone.”

Y/N rolls her eyes, and then removes Haz’s arm from her shoulder “Fine, I’ll get in the bikini but I can’t promise-”

Haz interrupts, “Just change into it, we’ll be outside.” He and Zendaya exit the room as you throw your bag on the floor, and you tug at your hair. You had just made a fool of yourself in front of everyone and now you have to go back out there and face all of them.

Great. Just awesome.

You change into the black bikini, and before you exit the restroom you take another look at yourself in the mirror. Well, here goes nothing.

-

-

Once Y/N made her way to the backyard, the amount of people had decreased. It went from about 30 people to about 15 people, it became more intimate. Everyone was gathered at the beer pong tables, Haz and Jacob setting up for a game of Rage Cage.

“Aye, Y/N! Come play this round!” Jacob yells as you’re setting down a bag one of the lounging chairs, “I’ll pass, I’m gonna take a dip.” He doesn’t respond, all she could think to herself is that Jacob bugged her so bad to bring her bikini down so she was going to go for a swim.

She kneels down to untie her black converse, and slips them off to the side of the lounge chair.

“so you and Zendaya huh?”

Y/N shoots to look back, she levels herself with the  guy she hadn’t seen in two weeks. She crosses her arms and scoffs, “shut up, Tom.”

“I see you’re trying to get me jealous.” He takes a drink from his beer, he chuckles with the liquid in his mouth. She pulls her hair back, and sighs “You know how I feel about her..and no I wasn’t..” she clears her throat nervously. “I wasn’t trying to make you jealous.”  

“Then why would you kiss Z? It just doesn’t make any sense to me.” And he genuinely wanted to know, why would the girl he just hooked up with not more than a month ago kiss her friend? He was just trying to make sense of it, but it sort of clicked when he thought about his ex being here not too long ago.

“Oh god, no..Y/N.. her.. Tuwaine, she just stopped by to say hi..” she just looks down, she didn’t want to look into his eyes. It was embarrassing, she had almost given all of herself to him that night in the flat and to see someone that he used to do what you did with him was upsetting.

She plays with her fingers, what could she do? She seen what she seen and they did what they did and she was gonna move past it..well at least try too.

“It’s fine, Tom..I didn’t know what to expect, it’s not your fault.” He leans in for a hug but she moves to the side, “that’s for not calling me.” His jaw drops for a second before he lets out a hopeful smile.

Y/N walks past him towards the pool, “By the way I don’t appreciate you ignoring me for two weeks.” He takes another sip from his beer, “Come on, I didn’t avoid you and it’s a two way street.. you could’ve called me too.”

You pursed your lips, “I mean...I guess you’re right but you know how I feel-”

“How do you feel love..hm?” His left eyebrow shot up, he knew what he was doing. You take a step forward, “Don’t make me say it, Tom.” He smirks, “Say what?”

He was being a smart-ass, but the ball was in his court. It’s been in his court for weeks, you didn’t know how he felt but him asking for confirmation seemed to trigger you a hit. So, you bring your hands to his chest and push him back.

And you don’t push him too hard, just enough for him to lose his balance. As he starts tipping back into the pool, he manages to grab your arms and before you knew it you were being pulled into the pool with him.

The cold water hit your body like a ton of bricks, you start making your way to the surface and finally find some air. When you push your hair out of your face, you notice Tom already laughing.

“Oh, Holland, you’re gonna get it.” You say as you move your way towards him, starts to splash you as you make your way towards him.

Y/N and Tom start to play wrestle in the water, Tom grips her wrist so that she can’t move. She’s kicking her legs under the water, trying to get out of his grip, his hands move from her wrist to her waist.

He reels her in as she pushes against him, “Tom, stop.” She’s giggly as his grip around her waist is causing her to feel ticklish. Y/N realizes that he’s stopped playing, and is just carrying her in the water.

“I did miss you, Y/N. I’m glad you’re going to be here.” He smiles as holds you tighter, as much as she is upset she can’t help but just want to melt into is arms. She tries to play off the fact that he is holding her, “Oh, you really have a nice way of showing it.”

“Come on, darlin’, you know I did..and I know you did too.” His hand puts wet hair behind your ear, and slides back down to your hips. “It’s my birthday, be nice.” Y/N gives up pushing him away, “Just because it’s your birthday doesn’t mean I have to talk to you.”

“Hey, you two! Smile!” Y/N and Tom turn their heads to find Jacob with her phone pointing in their direction, Tom pulls you closer as if you weren’t already close. He whispers in your ear, “Come on, for me.” She wraps her arms around his neck, faces the phone and talks through her smile, “Don’t think I’ve forgiven you.” And when Jacob’s flash goes off, you quickly push Tom away and scurry out of the pool, leaving him there wanting more of you than you thought he did.

-

-

The next couple of weeks were grueling, between going back and forth from working on Zendaya on set and a couple of other gigs that you would book in between...lets just say the month went by really fast. You only seen Tom three times since his birthday party, he was busy filming his stuff, and you were busy doing your things. But the three times you seen each other was either brief or long depending on the day.

If Zendaya and Tom had a scene together, then you were probably there all day but you and him didn’t really talk. He was in his zone and you were  in yours, the other times were brief run ins at your temporary home. You would get home from the Spider-Man set and then leave for another gig that you had.  

There were times where you would only get about an hour of sleep each night, it was ugly. So when your day off came, you were excited to be able to sleep.

The house situation first worried you when you got there but you were almost never there except to sleep, shower and then head out again. But today, today was different because you were got to  sleep in, relax on the couch with a pink drink and some pasta while catching up on the beauty guru’s tea on YouTube. That sounded like heaven to Y/N’s ears.

Y/N also didn’t realize the amount of clout that the photo of Jacob took of her and Tom would get her which she wasn’t really about. The first time Tom had ever posted about Y/N made his fandom rip her a new one, they all assumed that she was his girl which also caused friction between Tom and his ex.

She wasn’t going to worry about that today though, she was going to stay off of her phone and just forget about everything.

She woke up to an empty home, she didn’t know where everyone had gone. Z and Jacob were gone, and no sight of Tom and Haz anywhere. Once she reached the kitchen, she noticed a pink grande size Starbucks drink sitting on the table that sat on top of a note.

Thought you might like to wake up to this. -Tom

The ice was already melted so it’s been sitting for awhile, you couldn’t help but think how sweet Tom was for bringing this to you. You gladly sipped your warm drink as you prepped the water for your pasta, you turned the radio on that sat in the kitchen. Hayley Kiyoko’s Curious  came on, and you just left it, it was peaceful enough for you.

Y/N grabbed her drink that sat on the counter and made her way to the living room couch, being able to start relaxing was definitely on the agenda. But as soon as her back hit the couch, the front door opened.

“Y/N?!” She brings herself up with one of her elbows, “Harrison?” She takes a sip from her drink as she turns her body to look at him.

“You’re finally awake.” He comes towards the couch, he has his keys in hand and he shoved them in his pockets. She takes another sip from her drink, “finally? What time is it?” She looks around for her phone but she left it in her room.

“It’s almost 5.” He exclaims while he grabs a couple of things from the coffee table, y/n is shook but not really. She knew she was tired but dang did she really sleep in.

“Oh well..I’ll be here watching some YouTube while eating my fettuccine Alfredo.” Y/N lays down and takes a sip from her drink, “so bye now.” She closes her eyes until she’s shaken by Harrison like the way Shrek shakes Fiona when she’s faking her sleep.

“The fuck Haz?”

“The fuck is right, get up. You’re coming with me.” He shoves a portable charger into his pocket while he’s pulling you off the couch by your legs, “Haz,

Stop! It’s my day off, I don’t want to go?!”

He lets go of your legs, and he sets his hands on his waist, “I’m under strict instruction by Zendaya and Jacob that I can’t tell you where we’re going and your presence is wanted there tonight.” She re-adjusts herself on the couch, “Mm, no it’s okay. I’m gonna chill here.”

Haz disappears for a few moments, you open your eyes to peak and see where his where about are and he isn’t in sight. She begins to get comfy in the couch, and sinks into it but then remembers she can’t fall asleep because of the water boiling on the stove.

But her eyes begin getting heavier and heavier, it feels so good just to relax. That is...until Harrison Osterfield decides to throw some clothes on you, instantly causing you to shoot up.

“You’re coming with me whether you like it or not y/n..we already paid for your ticket..” She takes off the clothing that was thrown on top of her, “You guys bought me a ticket? Haz, can you just tell me?”

He shrugs his shoulders, “I mean I could but that would ruin his whole-” he stops, “I’ve said too much, just get dressed.. you have 5 minutes!” Haz doesn’t even take another minute to talk to her, he makes his way to the kitchen to turn off her boiling water.

Y/N looks down at the clothing that was tossed at her...okay Haz didn’t exactly have the best taste because the outfit he got you literally was just...ugly. She grabs the whole outfit, and starts to walk up the stairs, “Where are you going?”

She turns around and looks down at him, “I’m sorry Haz, I just don’t like this outfit. I’ll meet you outside.” She turns around and makes it to her room, he could care less if she picked a new outfit as long as he got her to come..just like he had promised his best friend.

-

-

Y/N held her mirror steady as she was applying her lip liner, she begins to shake not being able to hold still, “Okay Haz, keep driving crazy why don’t ya?”

The blonde laughs as he slows down a bit, “Sorry, I’m not used to having a girl put on makeup in the passenger seat.” Y/N rolls her eyes as she applies a light layer of her satin lipstick, “you know, you still haven’t told me where we’re going..”

He flips on the A/C, “Yeah, I know. You’ll see in a few minutes, it’s supposed to be a surprise.” She listened to his voice as she scrolled through her Instagram, “oh you mean, we’re going to this Lovebox Music Festival?”

Haz frowns his eyebrows and looks at you a couple of times, “I didn’t say we were going..Did I?” She rolls only of her eyes, and flashes her phone screen to him. It’s Jacob’s story holding wristing bands for which clearly read the festivals name on it.

“What a div!” He shakes his head, and only moments later does his phone ring. “So you’re kidnapping me to a festival?” He runs his hand through his blonde curls, one hand still on the wheel “Tom wanted to surprise you..”

Y/N sits back in her seat and it’s quiet between the two. She felt happy that Tom wanted to do this but there were still unanswered questions between them, maybe those can and would get answered tonight? After a whole ass month of nothing happening between them both, maybe they would finally have closure tonight.

Parking was a mess, you and Harrison parked far as fuck so you both had to walk about 20 minutes til you go to the venue. Once you guys got in, it was a smooth sailing from there, you were approached by Zendaya, Darnell, Jacob, Tony and a couple members of the cast you didn’t know.

The first thing Y/N did was hug Z, surprisingly nobody was coming up to them which was cool. Most of these people were here to watch artist perform, not to celebrity hunt.

“Ah, you made it.” She turns around to the familiar voice that would greet them in their home back in LA. Tom is approaching you with two beers in hand, you weren’t sure if one was for him or the both were.

“Yeah, Haz practically dragged me out here.” She elbows Haz in the side as he laughs, “Well, come on let’s go and find a spot.” The group starts to walk, they’re all ahead of you both..not too far but you and Tom are loosely following behind.

Tom extends his left arm to you, offering the beer in his hand. She wasn’t usually a beer person but she took it for the sake of the aesthetic. It’s a little awkward for a moment, being with your roommate that you hooked up with and not remotely having a conversation with him for a while was weird.

He breaks the silence with a clear of his throat, “You look nice.” She tucks a hair behind her ear, “Mmthanks, Haz picked out some ugly outfit earlier so I had to change.” He chuckles, “sounds like Haz..but uh, I’m glad you came.”

Tom shoves his free hand in his pocket, he’s nervous. He doesn’t know if you’re still upset about what happened but he wanted to make up for it today, show you that he really did care about you.

Y/N is blushing by the time the group has picked a spot, it’s sort of unspoken. It just happened to be that they stopped and so did you both, “I’m glad I did too, I mean I was basically kidnapped but-”

He scratches the back of his head, “I know, I’m sorry about that but I couldn’t just leave you at the house alone.” Her hand creeps up his arm, and rests on his shoulder “Well…” she bites her bottom lip, “you could’ve joined me.” They both laugh in sync and as she pushes him lightly.

The performer is about go on which is Childish Gambino, who also just happened to work on the last Spider-Man movie. You turn your head “Is that rumor true about you not knowing Donald Glover is Childish Gambino true?” And before he could reply you’re shoved into Tom by everyone in the crowd.

The audience is going wild because the set is about to start, the crowd starts coming in which bringing Y/N and Tom closer to the group and with each other. The lights go out, you’re in Tom’s arms from being shoved. Both of your beers falling on the floor from the impact of the crowd. 

I'd kiss you as the lights went out.

It’s bringing you and Tom closer together, so close that his arms are wrapped around you, his hands resting on your lower back. You’re both moving together, not sure what moves to make next.

Swaying as the room burned down

Although everyone is moving around you, it feels like you’re the only two are the only ones in the venue.

I'd hold you as the water rushes in

Y/N decides her next move, her hands moving from his waist to his collarbone. Her chuck taylors moving closer to his, she’s tiptoeing up so that she can find his lips. Her hand running through his hair, his hand creeping up her neck and to her cheek.

At this point, Y/N and Tom both had the same idea and she wasn’t sure if she was being paranoid but the flash from everyone around her was making her sweat but she didn’t care. 

If I could dance with you again 

Their lips so close to touching, both of them have butterflies in their stomach. The feelings that both of them have been holding in for a while finally coming back to life, their lips finally touching.

They’re both deep in their kiss, until Y/N pulls away..her hands still around his neck.. “Tom?”

He leaves a kiss on her forehead, “Hm?” she brings her mouth closer to his ear, the crowd cheering growing louder, “I have to tell you something.” His hands come up to her cheeks, holding them tight, he brings their noses together “What is it?”

She bites her bottom lip, her hands beginning to shake from being so scared “I..” she looks down and then back into his eyes, “I love you, Tom..like a lot.” His hands still wrapped around her cheeks, he sighs the lights from the stage lighting up their faces, “I care about you but..”  

But we were dancing

Dancing with our hands tied

-

-

A/N: Soooo, what’s gonna happen next? The angst has only started babes...OKAY Y’ALL! PLEASE SOUND OFF IN MY ASKS! I’ll take any advice, theories, suggestions..please feedback is key! also love y’all, hope you’re enjoying this fic so far.ALSO, I know I said I was gonna start a permanent taglist and taglist for this but it’s always just sooo much work haha but I'm working on it, I promise!!!  -Amy 💛

hook me up w/ a coffee?

[5saucefanfic]

Rookie of the Year: 5 - LH

Here it is. Sorry for the wait guys. Hope you all enjoy this. Let me know what you think. Let me know what you wanna see happen in the story. Share, leave comments. You know, the whole shebang.

“You didn’t think that ignoring him was enough, so now you’re fucking pitcher?” Nick yelled as she stared down at her lap not making eye contact with her brother. This had been going on for a half hour since he practically dragged her out of Luke’s car, Nick lighting into her the moment they stepped through the door to their apartment. “What the actual fuck is wrong with you? Are you really that dense and selfish?”

“Stop,” she said sniffling wiping her eyes. That was the only word she had said since Nick hadn’t given her any opportunity to speak. He had brought her to tears tearing her apart from the inside out and everything inbetween.

“I really can’t fucking believe you, y/n. You’re ruining our fucking chances at playoffs because you can’t keep your legs closed! I thought you were better than this?” She wiped her eyes looking up at him with a quivering lip.

“I’m still a fucking virgin you asshole!” she yelled breaking down into a sob. “I’m not leading him on. You want to know what we were fucking fighting about? We kissed at Ashton’s party over a month ago. And then Ashton came looking for me because Lauren was in the hospital. When I saw Luke the next morning, he accused me of sleeping with Ashton and I cussed him out because I had spent the night at the hospital making sure Lauren didn’t die. You’re a self-centered asshole, Nick and I hate you,” she said sniffling as she stood up heading to her room locking the door behind her. Nick was left sitting in the living room stunned as he tried to process what had just happened before quickly running up after his sister.

“Y/n…” he said trying to open the door hearing her sniffling. “C’mon...please open the door.”

“Go away” she mumbled throwing clothes into a bag as she texted Ashton asking if she could sleep over for a few nights.

“C’mon...I wanna talk about this.” “No, Nick. Because it’s always about you and fucking baseball. I’m done.” he sighed from outside the door.

“Y/n...open the damn door.”

“No, Nick. I don’t know what your problem has been lately, but I’m not sticking around for it…” she said harding the doorknob jiggle once again as he sighed. He finally gave up, walking away from the door to his own room.

‘What happened?’ Ashton texted back quickly. ‘Want me to pick you up?’

‘No. I’ll drive. Just order Uber Eats. I want McDonalds chicken nuggets. Large fries. Extra Honey Mustard. Large coke.’

~

Ashton was sitting on the couch in the living room as Michael stood in the kitchen of their house making a sandwich. He had been waiting over an hour for her to finally show up, the food arriving fifteen minutes ago and the boy still hadn’t heard anything from her since she had placed her order with him. He was honestly starting to get a bit worried, fearing the worst wishing he didn’t agree to letting her drive the two miles from her off campus condo to his off campus townhouse. He had made sure with the other 6 guys in the house that it was okay for her to stay for a few days, none of them objecting as he silently thanked the lord for letting him have a room to himself.

“What did she say happened?” he asked taking a bite moaning into the bread. “Did she specifically say Luke had done something, or are we just assuming because of the party fiasco?” Michael hadn’t been around for the party, having gone to visit his girlfriend in the valley about a half hour away. He had heard about it through the grapevine before finally asking Calum and Ashton what had happened, Ashton filling in the blanks that Calum couldn’t give since he had only known what Luke had known.

“She didn’t,” he sighed softly while running a hand through his hair and tugging softly. He knew she had been out with Luke, and all he was worried about was tif Luke had decided to fuck up...again. “I’m gonna kill him.”

“Well why don’t you ask him what happened? I’m sure he will tell you. You intimidate him. Besides, we don’t even know if this is his fault.” Ashton nodded before shooting Luke a quick text trying to keep it short and less accusing than he would’ve if he hadn’t asked Michael what he should do.

‘What happened with y/n? Is she okay? Did something happen on your date?’

“Do you think he’d really do something that stupid for a second time…?” Michael asked with his mouth full, Calum walking inside from having a smoke. “I mean...he’s not that stupid, right?”

“Do we think who is stupid enough to do what?” He asked stealing the other half of Michael’s sandwich, Michael shooting him a quick glare as he took another bite of his sandwich.

“Y/n texted Ashton asking if she could sleep over for a few days so she’s on her way. Ashton thinks Luke did something again and that that was the reason she asked to spend the night,” Michael explained as Calum nodded listening.

“Oh, god no. If she’s asking to sleep over, I’d say she got into it with Nick. Maybe it’s because of Luke, again, but I don’t think Luke intentionally caused an issue. Last time Luke fucked up, she had no problem staying at home,” he said biting into the bread as Michael stared at him in disbelief as Ashton snickered. “Besides, Luke’s been trying to agree to her going out with him for over a month now. I don’t think he’d be stupid enough to fuck up that quickly.

“That’s my fucking sandwich,” Michael said as Calum nodded going to sit on the chair across from Ashton, not really caring that Michael was pissed and that he was eating his food.

“Yeah. It’s great. Thanks for making it,” he nodded taking another bite as Ashton laughed a bit harder.

‘I don’t know. She hasn’t texted me back yet. I texted her after she left and haven’t heard anything. Nick figured out where we were and literally dragged her off the baseball field while yelling at her and honestly, I was ready to cry from the way he was talking to her. Have you talked to her? What’s going on? Anything I can do…? I feel awful...’ Luke sent back.

“Calum’s right. She got into it with Nick. Luke said Nick found them at the baseball field on their date and dragged her off the pitch while yelling at her,” Ashton said as he got up hearing a knock on the door assuming it was her. “Nick’s been really brutal with her lately about Luke...so honestly I’m not surprised.” He opened the door seeing her stand there with a bag and pillow, her hair up in a messy bun as she sniffled softly.  “Oh honey..”

“I fucking hate him,” she sniffled. “He called me a whore Ash...my own brother. Like...I’m still a fucking virgin. I haven’t slept with anyone...and he’s so fucking worried about this fucking tournament and not the fact that I’m like happy and shit,” she said breaking down into a sob as he wrapped his arms around her hugging her close to him. “He’s been getting worse and worse Ash and I can’t take it anymore.”

“You aren’t a whore, honey. And you know you’re more than welcome to stay here as long as you need to...okay?” he mumbled softly as she held onto his shirt sniffling and nodding. “I have your McDonalds.”

“Thanks,” she mumbled letting go walking in with her things sitting in Ashton’s spot on the couch opening her nuggets. “If Nick asks, I’m not here.”

“Fine with me,” he said sitting next to her wrapping an arm around her pulling her close. “Luke’s worried about you...you should give him a call. He thinks he fucked up and he’s worried...”

“You can tell him what happened...I really don’t wanna turn my phone back on. I turned it off so Nick couldn’t find me and so he wouldn’t call,” she mumbled. “I just wanna enjoy my nuggets...can we watch Lilo and Stitch too?”

“Whatever you want” he said as Calum got up popping the DVD in. She sat watching the movie leaning into his side while talking to the three boys explaining her night from the beginning, talking about how cute Luke had been with dinner and how she enjoyed the night that they had before Nick had ruined it, screaming at her as they tried to pack up the food before he had made it, just barely getting the blanket into Luke’s car when Nick pulled up beside them.

“So, you’d go out with him again?” Calum asked watching as she nodded, sneakily texting Luke everything she had been saying about him trying to reassure him that she didn’t hate him.

“Yeah,” she nodded as she finished her drink putting the empty cup in the bag of McDonalds goods scraps. “I mean, I probably eventually would’ve gotten over the whole thing at the party, even if Ash didn’t force me to talk to him...I really do like him a lot.”

“Have you told him that?”

“Oh, god no,” she said shaking her head. “I’m not ready for the kind of commitment that’s going to bring. I’m still trying to figure everything out. I think I’m gonna apply for housing next semester because I can’t afford anything like this. I’ve got some exhibitions coming up…”

“Those sound like excuses,” Michael teased as she blushed rolling her eyes, Calum getting up at the sound of someone knocking on the door. “I’m just saying, if you really like him, tell him. Life’s too short.”

“Coming from the guy that’s practically married,” she said giggling, the three looking to the door seeing Luke standing there with a few plastic grocery bags.

“So I brought ice cream and some root beer because, you know...not old enough to buy alcohol so this is the most fun I can bring..” he said, a slight blush on his cheeks realizing that three of his best friends were here, there were at least five other guys on his team somewhere in the house, and his not girlfriend.

“I told you, whipped,” Calum teased making Michael and Ashton laugh, but y/n smiled wide as she got up from the couch going over to him taking a couple of bags to ease the weight before pecking his cheek softly.

“I appreciate the gesture. And I love root beer floats,” she said softly, his blush deepening, but the smile only growing from there, his dimples more prominent than she had seen. She walked to the kitchen with him helping him put the ice cream away and sticking the second bottle of root beer in the fridge as they started making some for each person in the living room, including themselves.

“So, what happened with Nick…?” he asked softly hearing her sigh. “If you want to tell me...I get it if you don’t want to talk about it…”

“He called me a selfish whore and told me I don’t know how to keep my legs closed…” she sighed as he frowned shaking his head. “But jokes on him, because I’ve never even touched a dick,” she mumbled.

“That’s fucked up…” he whispered softly as she nodded dropping scoops of vanilla ice cream into the cups. “I um...can I ask wh-,”

“Why I’m still a virgin? Right after my parents died, my boyfriend at the time tried to force me to have sex with him,”  she said shrugging. “So I just haven’t had the desire to have sex. I’m waiting for someone I trust,” she explained as he nodded, arms wrapping around her from behind as she relaxed into his touch and embrace.

“Well, I’m up for whatever you’re up for, angel,” he mumbled kissing up her neck slowly and softly, a small laugh escaping her as he did. “And fuck Nick…”

“Yeah, I know” she said turning her head pecking his lips softly.

“Will you two stop making out. I want my ice cream!”

[greekowl87]

Fic: Beach Evening

It’s becoming a series I think. It’s encouraged to read the others but not required.  Tried and True - Midnight Blues

I don’t write much of the early seasons with MSR but this one takes place during ‘Little Green Men’ after their escape from Arichebo and before they get back to D.C. Just some early UST MSR. Sort of. Kind of. Let’s just call it early MSR.

I started this as a distraction in between writing my seminar papers and I am finishing this with a bout of insomnia induced anxieties concerning my seminar papers and my ability to write anything at all. I can’t make words.

Thanks for reading. Sorry for typos. No beta. Tagging @today-in-fic

Mulder smiled as and mumbled a heavily accented 'gracias' as he took his change and grocery back from the bodega down from the crummy seaside hotel and he and Scully found themselves in. The air was still heavy with humidity but nothing like the dense jungle in Arecibo. The sea air had taken away some of it and it made him feel a bit less suffocated.  He walked the sidewalk and turned down an alley and took the stairs up to an aged three-story building. He nodded to the old man sitting at the front desk who was more interesting in the newspaper in front of him to pay attention to Mulder coming or going.

He knocked quickly on their door and called, "Scully, it's me. Are you decent?"

The blue door to the hotel room was pulled back and he saw his partner with her red hair tied back and wearing a white tank top. "Like that would stop you," she teased, "did you bring us dinner?"

He shrugged and replied, "It depends on what you call dinner." Mulder placed the bag on the small table that sat in the corner of their room. He took out a small box and opened it for her inspection. "Pinchos is what they are called."

"It's meat on a stick, Mulder. How very you."

"Don't condemn me so fast, Scully. I don't see a microwave or a McDonald's nearby." He could hear the teasing in her voice. "I got some bread to go with it and..." He paused for dramatic effect and pulled out the small bottle of rum. "Ta-da."

"Mulder!" She chuckled. "Really?"

"Why not? Let's go sit on the beach and watch the sunsets and eat our meat on a stick." He smiled boyishly at her. "Come on, Scully. You come all the way to Puerto Rico to save my ass, it's the least I can do to do to wine and dine my partner. It's better than a Watergate parking garage."

"Mulder," she sighed. "What happened to keeping a low profile? I told you that I was followed in D.C. and you are the one who insisted we take a boat back to Flordia."

"Come on, Scully, we've shared drinks before. You know I'm a good date. I'll behave."

Yes, that night, Scully thought. It went unspoken between them except for the small ‘thank you’ she had nervously given him the next morning she saw him and it was never mentioned again but she had noticed a shift in their dynamic and working partnership too, and like most things again, that went unspoken in between them too.

"Oh, come on, Scully," Mulder smiled encouragingly.

She sighed, deciding to indulge his little fantasy. "Fine," she conceded, "but only if it will shut you up for the rest of the night about playing coco cabana."

He gave a soft smile and cleverly decided to push his luck.

. . . .

On some stray beach blanket Mulder had produced, they sat eating their pinchos with two small paper cups filled with small amounts of Puerto Rican rum and a small bottle wrapped in a paper bag and coke bottle. "You know what this is missing," Scully mused, picking at the kebab stick. "Ice."

"You know, I never knew why they always served limes with rum and cokes or just call it for what it is, a cuba libre."

Scully felt the adrenaline wearing off and herself enjoying the companionable mood between them. The sunset was had just set to the slight left of them over the Atlantic sea. A rainbow of unearthly color painted the sky. The small, squashy waves were pounding the shore as high tide was rolling in and the tropical air felt refreshing since the first time since the plane had landed. "Not possible," she corrected, sipping the drink. She winced at the alcoholic burn. "The cuba libre was first thought to have in the Spanish-American war, which predates the distribution of Coca-Cola. However, in 1898, there was a variation of a drink known as a cuba libre that had water and brown sugar I believe."

Mulder just took a moment to stare at her, either impressed or questioning her insanity.

"I read a lot," she clarified as if trying to justify her answer.

"I wasn't thinking that. You really are smarter than me," he confessed with mock horror.

She let a bubbling giggle escape her chest as Mulder just grinned goofily. "Well, I have to be with the way you covered your trail. It was almost impossible to find you, Mr. Hale."

"Ah, so you know my secret identity, Mrs. Hale?" That was the first time he had said something like that but she did not know why it struck her differently. Mulder nodded back out to the ocean. "What made you come after me? We technically aren't partners."

"Maybe not in the eyes of the Bureau. I meant what I said back at the Watergate. I am worried about you. I know they have me stuck in Quantico teaching again and you stuck transcribing tapes for white collar, but I do worry. You only come to call when you need help busting a conspiracy wide open or me to save your ass."

"Well, we have proof this time, Scully, I'm positive," Mulder replied gazing back out into the ocean distantly. "It may not be the proof or answers to what happened to Samantha but it's something. The work can finally be validated. I just know it." He turned to Scully thoughtfully and squeezed her hand quickly in thanks. "And there's you."

There's me, she repeated to herself. Scully returned his gesture with a squeeze and small smile of her own. "What do you say we finish up and head back? Doesn't the boat leave before dawn tomorrow to go back to Miami and then from there we fly back to D.C?"

He nodded as he finished the last of his pincho. He wiped his hands on his jeans and nodded to their drinks. "We can finish up back and the room and watch some telenovelas. There's only one bed too, Scully." He waggled his eyebrows playfully and she scoffed in amusement.

"Sorry, the tropical island doesn't do it for me, Mulder. Sorry."

She gathered up the rest of their dinner as they trudged up the sandy beach and towards their ancient hotel. Mulder flicked on the fuzzy television as Scully headed towards the bathroom to clean up. He smiled as he shifted through the bookbag he had brought, grateful that Scully had bought him a change of clothes to wear. He slipped into a tank top and clean pair of jeans, not wanting to read more into the situation. There was only one queen bed in the room and no couch.

It had happened twice before, the whole one bed and the two of them sharing it trope where they had to share a bed on a case. Nothing had happened but after the nightmare on the Icy Cape and the moment of affirmation of their trust, other small things had started to happen instead which he tried to overlook. That went unspoken by them too. She appeared from the bathroom dressed in shorts and an oversized t-shirt, her hair pulled back into a ponytail. "What side do you want, Mulder," she asked, peeling back the covers.

Nothing else to this, he reminded himself, but poor luck in accommodations.

"Um, the left side. I know you are partial to sleeping on the right side of the bed."

She smiled gratefully. "You can pick what's on the tv."

Scully slipped beneath the light covers as Mulder got in next to her. Completely platonic, he reminded himself as he watched her turn onto her side and was asleep within minutes thanks in part to the rum they had earlier that night. He remembered falling asleep late watching a baseball game. When he awoke later, as he typically did because of his insomnia, he had found at some point in the night, Scully and nestled her sleeping self comfortably against his side with an arm and leg snaked across him. He smiled slightly. They may have taken away the work, prevented him from finding the truth, but he now just realized he had Scully. He had still had Scully. He nuzzled her hair without thinking, taking in her scent and smiling. And probably for the millionth time, he silently thanked whatever unknown forces that had brought Scully into his life.

[sarahunfiltered-blog1]

My Diet/Fitness/Nutrition Journey Thus Far

Most of the memories I have of life growing up revolve mostly around food. I remember growing up and all we’d eat was Sonic, Dairy Queen, Whataburger, McDonald’s, Taco Bell, Wendy’s, you name it, I ate it. I could still to this day probably tell you my order from each place. I was raised on Hamburger Helper, Ramen noodles, Rice a Roni, canned and boxed everything, candy and soda. 

I remember when I was around maaaaaybe 12-13 and my mom doing a diet that may have been slim quick or something along the lines of you eat chicken and veggies, take these pills and do some sort of workout. I had a really bad sweet tooth (still do) as a kid and I started to gain weight and at 13 I was 165lbs, so my mom included me into her diet routine and I would eat the chicken and veggies, rice cakes, a tbsp of coconut oil and would chew sugar gum and we’d walk between the stop signs on the street we lived on and I’d do her workouts with her. I remember watching my brothers and sisters eating candy while I ate my caramel rice cakes because I was the bigger one of all of them, so for the longest time I was just the fat tomboy of a girl that would stare at herself in the mirror and look at how big my butt was at 13 and hating it and my stomach to stuck out and my fat face. I remember I used to grab my stomach and cry and scream about how much I hated it. If only I were skinny I’d be enough. I would sneak and binge on sweets, it was my comfort, it was there for me and it made me feel better

When I got my period and more of my hormones kicked in I lost a lot of weight. I want to say I got down to 125 when I was around 14-15 and I wouldn’t eat because I was extremely depressed. My sweet tooth was still there, but I wouldn’t eat because I thought eating would make me fat, so I wouldn’t and when I did it was minimal. I ate a lot of 100 calorie snacks, drank juice like V8 because I thought it was healthy, diet coke because it was diet and wouldn’t make me fat. When I was 16 I started working at Target and they have a Pizza Hut Cafe and almost every shift I would go pick up there bread sticks and a diet Pepsi and that would be my lunch (the thought of that now literally makes me cringe). I went to a bible college from 17-almost 18 and ate Ramen noodles and whatever shit food they served while I was there, but I didn’t know any different so I just ate it. I was still pretty skinny because ya know I was 15-17 and you can eat like shit and still be a twig.

When I turned 18 and moved out of my parents house my diet didn’t suuuuper change. I was still living a hardcore Taco Bell and Pizza Hut bread sticks and diet coke life style because I was living on my own, broke as a joke and ate the food I was used to eating, but then I gained probably 30lbs easily within a short amount of time (surprise surprise). I had spent my whole time as a teenager not wanting to be the fat kid and here I was back at 165lbs... wtf. I didn’t really know how to cook, didn’t have money for groceries, refused to apply for food stamps, so I just thought starting to workout would cure all my problems. Well, it didn’t long story short. I mean why didn’t working out and running for an hour THEN going eat Taco Bell work? I was working out, right? HA.

I remember scrolling Pinterest when I discovered it and finding the “Military Diet” and giving that a go. You basically don’t eat anything for 3 days and could apparently lose 10lbs. I wanted to DIE during that diet. I made it the first time around and lost 5lbs, then gave it another go and didn’t make it 2 days and stopped by Taco Bell on my way home from work and binged on that. So my diet search continued... One of my coworkers at the time started using My Fitness Pal to track her calories and she was losing weight like crazy, so I obviously I needed to give it a go and the weight just started falling fall. I went from 165lbs to 125lbs within a matter a months. I didn’t work out, I just ate less than 1,500 calories a day, cold turkey stopped eating candy, drinking soft drinks and unfortunately my Pizza Hut bread sticks. Everything was going GREAT. When I wanted to go down to the next lbs and I was 0.2 from it I would pop a few laxatives the night before and then would weight myself the next morning after shitting my brains out, but I HAD to lose that 0.2lbs.. just had to. I became overly obsessed with counting calories and eating lean cuisines and and 100 calories snacks and drinking Naked juice and weighing myself DAILY and measuring every single little thing I ate and would legit cry if I went over my calories. Funny, not so funny story. One weekend I was headed to my mom’s and had already eaten all of my calories for the day, but was staaaaaaaarving, so I stopped by Jimmy John’s and ate a sandwich that was 800ish calories, which put me 800ish calories over what I was “allowed” to eat, so you bet your ass I drug all of my brother and sisters and mom to a walking trail and walked/ran until I burned off the entire sandwich because I wouldn’t sleep peaceful knowing what I did by eating that sandwich. It was bad, just so bad. I remember the day I hit a breaking point and just wanted some damn chocolate chop cookies, but didn’t have the calories saved for it, but I binged on them anyways and cried in Michael’s arms over what I did and he was telling me it was fiiiiiiine and all the sweet things he could, but it wasn’t to me in that moment, but in that moment I just knew I needed to stop all of this, so I did. I feel like I remember just deleting the app off my phone and being done with it. I was 20 at this point and working a standing job.

Beginning in February of 2014 I started a corporate sitting job, so I didn’t have access to Starbucks or a grocery store on my breaks like I did working at Target, so I had to start bringing my lunches and snacks and to top it all off I was sitting. As you could maybe imagine I started gaining weight from being stagnant and snacking ALL day at my desk (#teamnutrigrain). I put on a good 20lbs within the first couple of months. So I started going for walks on my breaks, eating a lean cuisine a day, eating more fresh fruits and veggies, almonds, and limited my snacking to only in the afternoons and that kind of helped and worked for me for a long time and I stayed at a healthy maybe 140ish lbs and that worked for me because I was still skinny. All about that skinny life because skinny = healthy, right? Well, I thought so. 

I turned 21 and didn’t go crrazzzyy drinking, but I drank moscato and margarita’s often enough and still was all about my Friday candy binge. I was also drinking up to 3 cups of coffee a day at work and just couldn’t figure out why I was sweating and so anxious all the time. I genuinely thought it was from work when in reality I was just pumping myself with coffee after coffee after coffee day in and day out (I’ve learned since my lesson since then). I went through a phase of HIIT workout and running, but that faded really quick, but I really enjoyed hiking when I gave it a go, still do. Along with yoga which I am planning to make a goal of starting a practice in 2018. 

Around the time I turned 22-23 my older sister, Meghann, had a baby and really educated herself around living a more holistic lifestyle and it really intrigued me and around that time I had discovered podcasts and I realized how much processed foods aren’t the best choice and what I could do as an alternative way of going about eating, so I stopped lean cuisine’s (haven’t had one since), milk and yogurt along with limiting candy and processed snacks. I completely cleaned my desk out at work from all the sugar filled granola bars and whatever else I had in there and started to work with that. I shortly thereafter learned about one of the best ways of going about what to eat/not eat is if it didn’t come from the earth and/or has a label on it to think twice before eating it and READ the back of the label if you do. This is still newer-ish to me to do and I’m currently learning about all things nutrition, and how the mind, body and spirit all work together and you can’t have one fully without the other.

 As of now I don’t drink dairy milk, I limit cheese but still love it, I grocery shop once a week and buy as much organic produce as possible, I am still working on the meat switch when it comes to buying organic meat (not quite there yet), I cold turkey stopped eating candy and have found organic, non high fructose corn syrup filled alternatives when I have a sweet tooth, I haven’t been drinking alcohol much the last 2 months or so (don’t have a legit reasoning behind it, just doesn’t sound good), I am really into cooking paleo, vegan, Whole30 friendly foods because it coincides with my eating from the earth method I live by and when I want Whataburger breakfast on a Friday or a taco with a flour tortilla or a real homemade chocolate chip cookie I happily will eat it because I do not believe in living a restricted lifestyle. My entire life leading up to recently whether it was mentally, spiritually or physically has been restricted and I’m not OK with it because it’s limiting and keeps me in a box. I’m a believer in the energy you put into something is negative the outcome will be negative, so if I’m to sit here and say “this is cookie is SO bad for me. OMG. I am going to gain 10lbs.” Well, I’m asking for it to happen, versus eating the cookie cause I want the damn cookie and loving every bit. They doesn’t mean I sit there and eat 12, it just means my mindset around food was so terrible for so long and I know what it did to me mentally that is not worth it for me to be negative about it. I am content and happy with where I am out now, I don’t even care to weigh myself anymore, I don’t body shame myself anymore, I don’t calorie count, I don’t binge, I don’t use food as a reward system, I just educate myself around it, listen to my body and see how it feels and go from there. My anxiety has lessened, I sleep so much better, I feel so peaceful inside and out, and my skin has completely cleared up (I’ll talk about my skincare routine future post).  It’s been a long, ongoing journey, but I am thankful for the million and 2 podcasts I’ve listened to, my sister and everyone else along the way to get me to where I am today and I am excited to continue to learn and grow and now have a place to share all the info I am taking in and it maybe help someone else. :)

- Sarah xo

[over-the-pink-moon]

How bad can a good time be?

here is my pretty late ghost theme fic for slhalloweenparty aka part 2 of the series that doesn't even has its name 

good to know its not shit @ac-ars

part1 

Jeep was passing through the streets of some undistinguished town.  Silently playing radio was the only background noise for the daunting silence that fell between passengers. Brown haired driver was tightly holding the steering wheel with both hands, not looking away from a road for a second. He was deeply immersed in his thoughts that made his face look concerned and fully focused.

On the opposite, girl next to him seemed in no way as stoic as him. She was hugging her knees, leaning her head on the window looking at the passing by building. Her eyes were all puffy and red, also was sniffling every now and again.

 The atmosphere on he backseat wasn’t much different. Blonde girl was sitting across her seat keeping her legs on the knees of boy seating next to her. She was listening to music through her earphones, swaying her head a bit to the rhythm. Her neighbour in a green baseball jacket wasn’t that content from this situation, but kept looking through some book.

 „Okay, they weren’t driven neither to the hospital, nor on the police station Any other ideas where should we check next?”- said Matteo breaking the silence. He was 200% sure that no matter, how long they will be looking for parents of the green-eyed girl, there is no chance to find them, because they were simply killed by the vampires. Nevertheless, he had no idea, how to pass this dreary news to this pretty girl, without explaining the whole supernatural circumstances.

 “I really don’t know.”- said Luna quietly sighing. “I phoned them thousand times and nobody picked uptheir phone. We have moved here only a few days ago and I have no idea were they can be and who can I talk to”. This confession squeezed Matteo’s heart a little. Excellent, not only they are to blame for her parents death, but also this girl literally has no place to go.

 Through the last 3 years they never had to deal with such situation. Of course, there were times when they completely screwed up and instead of burning the bones of the dead, they managed to burn half of the neighbourhood (Gaston claimed that it was just super effective way of incinerating bones and now for sure that area won’t be ever haunted by any exceptionally pesky ghost.). But they never had to find something unfindable.

 “McDonalds!”- suddenly livened up Gaston. “I know we are in the middle of something really important, but nothing raises the spirits better than double cheeseburger with fries. Maybe except of two double cheeseburgers.”- Boy hugged or more like tightly squeezed Matteo through his seat. “Matteo Balsano you don’t want to lose your friend because of starvation, do you?”- he asked in all serious tone.

“Luna, don’t you mind, if we stop?- Italian took a look at her a bit worried. “No, no that’s completely fine. You are already helping me so much”- girl half-smiled at the driver.

“Obesity, we’re coming!”- sighed with relief Gaston.

  ***

“We are going to make an order and you two look for a table”- commended Ambar as soon as soon as they walked through the door of the fast food kingdom. “Come on, Balsano”- she pulled boy quickly to the queue. She looked behind her back to find out Gaston and Luna drifted away searching for an unoccupied and moderately clean table.

“Okay, heart-eye boy. What’s your plan to do with this girl?- Blonde girl asked raising her brow and leaning at italian’s shoulder. Matteo looked at her and rolled his eyes.

“You’re jealous?”- asked smirking at her. “No, you conceited jerk. I am more like “how the fuck are you going to find the dead parents of this girl?”. The only idea, that comes to my mind is to put her in the car, when Gaston is driving. That’s the straightest way to the otherside.”

“You don’t have a driving licence yourself, so don’t criticize Gaston!”

“Your husband must have bought this licence, because no driver examiner would even let him drive out of parking. But getting to the point, put this puppy girl in the box, giver her a soft blanket and a bowl of water. Leave her on the side of the road and I guarantee some kind family will take care of her and not drag her in our shit. ”- Ambar’s voice have been raising with every word, suddenly interrupted by someone quietly clearing their throat. “Yes?”

“Hi, welcome at Mcdonald’s. What can I get you?”- barely stuttered young girl in green uniform. She nervously took her hair behind her ears.

“Salad. Just salad”- answered pissed Ambar, glaring at the girl, who had disturbed her and now didn’t even dare to look up. “No, add also strawberry shake. Or maybe coke zero, but without ice. Yes, salad and vanilla shake. Of course without chicken and dressing.”- Matteo just sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Just bring her whatever you have at hand. She will be dissatisfied either way.”- he smiled and winked at the girl. Heart of the girl started to beat even twice as fast and she got red all over her face. “For me it will be this new burger in the set with large fries and cola”- boy turned around to see, where his friends took a seat.

They were sitting few tables from them, Gaston was currently showing something Luna on his phone and girl looked like she was about to burst out laughing. He could bet 50$, that it was photos from his hidden folder were he kept the most horrible photos of Matteo. Among others the one from when he got drunk and made out with a mexican boy, or the one when he fell asleep during movie night and Gaston decided to use his face as a canvas. To protect his precious babies from Balsano, boy even put a password, which regardless countless attempts he still didn’t managed to break.

“Luna,  what do you want?”- shouted Matteo in the direction of his friends.

“Happy meal”- shouted back Luna grinning at him. In her eyes showed off little sparks of joy. Ambar sighed loudly at this view and looked Matteo dead in the eyes.

“Told you? She is a true puppy.”- she shook her head, as she doubted, why she is the only one making sense in this trio.

“Add this to the check and two double cheeseburgers with fries.”- told Matteo leaning at the checkout desk, which made girl’s cheek even more red than before. “Thank you for your witty comments Ambar. I will have back in my mind, that you’d rather have my ass for yourself.”- he tilted his head and kissed blonde in the corner of her mouth.

“You are truly disgusting. Save your moves for the employee girls”- snapped Ambar making a disgusted face and swiftly turned her back to walk away to the table.

 Gaston and Luna stopped laughing, when noticed, how pissed off  was the blonde, coming to their table. Both of them felt like the poor tourists, who enjoy themselves on the beach, when see the tsunami  wave is coming. They looked at each other for a few seconds and simultaneously looked down at their phones. They sat in silence, until Matteo came with trays full of  the most unhealthy-delicious smelling food.

-Thank you.- was the only thing that Luna dared to say aloud and just concentrated at her meal. All three ate in silence, letting the blonde girl calm down.

They cleaned after themself and got out of the restaurant. It was already completely dark outside and pessimistic thoughts started to get to Luna again. She sat in her front seat and hugged her knees looking through a window. Matteo turned on the radio and put on a “Sunrise”, she was listening softly swaying her head.  At the back Gaston was chatting with Ambar, who get over, whatever she had to get over. They were driving through the forest in the suburbs of the town. Girl was watching trees quickly passing by, actually for sure too quickly than the law allowed here.

“Matteo, how fast are you… Oh my god! What was this?”- shrieked Luna. She was 100% sure, that a few seconds ago, she spotted terrified men inches away from their jeep’s mask. “Matteo, you have ridden him down. But how so we didn’t feel anything?” Matteo rapidly stopped his car and turned to the backseat. He glanced at Gaston, trying to pass to him, what he had in mind. Ambar furrowed brow and looked at the Matteo focused. The three managed to agree on something without a one world.

“Luna,”- began Gaston hurriedly. “We are gonna get out of the car and check on this man. You see…”- he stammered. “Ambar is unbelievably good paramedic! You won’t believe, but she attended a course last summer and then trained so much with Matteo. Oh, you should have seen, how involved they both were. She excels at mouth-mouth respiration. ”- Gaston continued to rattle, going through a backpack, that he picked up from the floor. At that time, Ambar was rummaging through her handbag, trying really hard to not choke his friend. “Really, we have a master here of not only killing people, but also unkilling people, what a treasure. ”- he ended absentmindedly, getting out of car and waved at Ambar to follow him.

“Don’t you worry dears, as Gaston said, this man won’t even feel, that was dead for a couple of minutes.”- Ambar smiled in a fake way to Luna before slamming the door and sending knowing glance to Matteo through a window.  Haven’t they disappeared behind the car yet, Balsano stepped harshly on the gas making Luna push into the seat.

“Aren’t we waiting for them?”- asked confused green-eyed girl turning to Matteo. “Why are we in so much hurry? What is going on here?” Luna looked around terrified, starting to regret, that she trusted this crazy trio.

“Nothing is happening”- Italian breathed out slowly. “We have settled on, that we will come back for them, when they are finished.”- His words haven’t convinced her at all. “Oh Luna, please don’t look so freaked out. I am not gonna kidnap you and lock you in my basement. Of course you are really cute, but that’s not really my style of seducing girls”

“I didn’t think about this possibility earlier”- stammered Luna concentrating at the first sentences, her eyes getting even bigger and more petrified. Matteo didn’t manage to add anything, when the moment broke the sound of a ringtone. Balsano quickly unplugged his phone from the speaker and answered it. Luna watched, as he nodded a few times, cursed under his breath and muttered something ending the call. He was still one hand putting down phone, when unexpectedly pulled the steering wheel and turned back the car.

“Sorry Luna, we are coming back to this idiots yet a bit earlier”- he said through his teeth, speeding up. “They forgot something really, really essential. When we get there please for no sake, don’t come out of the car. ”

“Okay…”- girl answered completely lost. “But after this I deserve some explanation, okay?”

 ***

“Summing up, that was a ghost of a man who died in a car crash, yes?”- asked Luna playing with a straw. “And Gaston forgot his lighter”- she continued looking up at the rest. Matteo nodded taking a sip of a wine. “And lighter is really important part of getting rid of a ghost, right?”

“As you see, not important enough, that some jerk manages to pack his pyjama bottons, and leave the lighter on the backseat”- broke in Ambar coming with her milkshake to the table. She took a chair next to Matteo and nudged Gaston’s chair.

“Yes, I admit it to my mistake, stop nagging me Ambar!. Matteo, I am not going to travel with her anymore, choose who is gonna stay by your side? Your best trustworthy buddy or permanently pissed off bitch?

“I choose Luna.

[themikewheelers]

Can u please do the whole OTP thing for mileven omg!!

(I am so sorry that I'm on mobile and can't attach a read more kdksks)1. Acts like they’re dying when they have a cold. Mike is actually the most overdramatic person there is. He gets a cold and insists that it's actually some obscure disease killing him and refuses to admit otherwise, even once he gets better 2. Gets mad at the TV and throws the remote. 
I wouldn't say either of them get to the point of throwing the remote mad at the TV, but I think El definitely sees stuff that bothers her on the TV a lot (like the Coke commercial) but Mike has kinda figured out to just turn the TV off and distract her with smth else before it bothers her too much 3. Gets the worst road rage.I really don't think either of them are road rage people?? But I guess I'd say Mike gets frustrated more in general with stuff 
4. Spends too much time in the bathroom on their phone. Oh Mike absolutely. Whether we're talking a modern au or talking about them in the future he's definitely the guy who's on his phone way too much 
5. Packs the whole closet for an overnight trip. Mike. But that's just cause he knows El probably won't pack enough and end up stealing all his clothes anyway
6. Hates the in-laws. I mean??? I feel like neither of them would hate their in laws? But Mike is absolutely TERRIFIED of Hopper, he was scared of him before he started dating his daughter for god's sake. But I do think that fear does kinda wash away over time and especially with all the stuff going on in Hawkins, Mike does learn to trust and rely on the chief. At the same time, I really can't see Ted Wheeler ever really liking Eleven. He's certainly not the biggest participant in his children's lives, but I think after the government coming to his house Ted would have his head too far up his ass to ever trust El, and in that sense El would kinda dread having to see someone who she knows doesn't like her 
7. Hits the snooze button…11 times. El. She's a very light sleeper but she still dreads getting up in the morning, Mike practically has to force her to get up 
8. Makes the other late for work. El makes Mike late but it's never her fault. It's more like Mike makes himself late to work cause he spends too much time with El in the morning even when she's telling him he has to go get ready 
9. Uses the television as a babysitter. El. Mike is better at keeping kids entertained on his own with stories and pulling out his old toys, while El kinda struggles in that sense. She didn't have much of a childhood herself, and she is a pretty shy and quiet person and that can kinda make her a little awkward with others, especially children who rely on every little thing you do to entertain them. The television can be a good buffer for when she runs out of ideas to play with them 
10. Takes in the stray dog. Both of them absolutely. They both have such ridiculously big hearts and they can't STAND to see stray animals and just leave them there. They take in strays all the time and take care of them until they can find someone to permanently adopt them, even though their house can get kinda overrun at times with their many "foster" pets 
11. Suggests a 3am trip to McDonald’s. El. She has a lot of trouble falling asleep at night, especially after the lab where she was always worried of someone storming into her "room" in the middle of the night, it all made her a very light sleeper. Whenever she has a lot of trouble falling asleep she'll normally end up going out some place, occasionally waking up Mike and bringing him with her 
12. Leaves their shoes out for the other to trip over. El, she tends to forget about little stuff like putting her shoes away. Mike's more of a neat freak about that stuff 
13. Can’t make up their mind when it comes to dinner. El is normally fine with eating anything, while Mike can be a pickier eater. But he's also the one of them who normally ends up cooking dinner so it's up to him to decide 
14. Needs to be reminded of all their appointments. Mike can get very forgetful when it comes to stuff like that, El tends to remember it better though 
15. Bribes the other into doing chores, getting out of the house…and taking a shower. Ehhh I don't really see this for either of them 
16. Picks the movies. Mike. Especially when they're younger, he makes a huge list of movies that he insists El has to see. She's generally fine watching whatever and just let's Mike pick whatever he wants (But she draws the line when he is about to put on Star Wars for the third time in one week)
17. Takes the safety steps when building a pillow fort. Over the years, Mike gets to be practically a pillow fort architect with all the forts he and El make 
18. Kisses the other’s injuries better. Mike knows El finds it kinda ridiculous to suggest that injuries can be kissed until they're healed, but he still does it, even if all it really does is give her something that cheers her up to distract her from the injury 
19. Is addicted to angry birds, game of war, candy crush, temple run, or flappy bird. Mike. He has to be pulled away sometimes
20. Kills the spiders. Neither of them. Mike is absolutely TERRIFIED of spiders and would be perfectly fine killing them, but El won't let him and insists to save each one of them and let it outside. Mike's still too scared to approach it though so El uses her powers to levitate the spider outside 
21. Hogs the blankets. Eleven absolutely. She always ends up with all the blankets while Mike has nothing (he never complains about it though, instead using it as an excuse to snuggle up closer to her) 
22. Takes pranks too far. Mike, but when he does he gets so guilty about it. It only happens a couple times when they're teenagers, and he doesn't yet know that a certain thing bothers her or he accidentally seriously scares her (even tho most of his pranks end with her rolling her eyes) but he feels incredibly guilty whenever something does accidentally hit a nerve. He knows afterwards that maybe pranks aren't always the best idea 
23. Makes the dirty jokes. Neither of them. They're not that kind of people
24. Keeps a piggy bank. El. She finds the piggy bank itself absolutely adorable, and loves using it to save up money 
25. Has no problem having ice cream for breakfast. Eleven, and this absolutely APPALLS Mike
26. Gets a tattoo when they’re drunk. I don't think either of them would drunkenly get a tattoo, but I do think they'd get tattoos. When they're 18 El decides to cover up the 011 tattoo with the word "Promise" and shortly afterwards Mike decides to get the same tattoo himself so they're matching 
27. Trips over their own feet. Mike. I don't even have to say anything else this boy is a FOOL 
28. Makes the other go for a walk. Eleven loves going on walks and hiking and stuff like that to clear her mind when she's overwhelmed, a lot of times she'll bring Mike with her 
29. Whines until they get what they want. Mike tries. He doesn't succeed. El on the other hand succeeds without trying because she's practically got Mike wrapped around her finger 
30. Tries to act tough but really isn’t. Michael Wheeler eveybody (love my weak ass son) 
31. Talks the most, says the least. Mike
32. Talks the least, says the most.El

[hueman-blog]

Answering Personal Questions

I made a user I follow, @razzledazzlefoshazzle , answer all of these on his blog. I’m feeling guilty so I’m gonna do it too. I know none of you asked but HERE GOES MY PERSONAL INFO!!!

200: My crush’s name is: Averi 
199: I was born in: Place? Lancaster, PA, USA. Year? 1999 
198: I am really: Bored and unmotivated 
197: My cellphone company is: Apple 
196: My eye color is: Brown 
195: My shoe size is: 8-9 Women’s US 
194: My ring size is: Idk, something little 
193: My height is: 5'4" I’m little 
192: I am allergic to: Stupid people 
191: My 1st car was: Never had one 
190: My 1st job was: Cashier at California Tortilla (a fast food Mexican franchise around D.C.) 
189: Last book you read: Cradle and All 188: My bed is: My safest place, my true home, and also too empty 
187: My pet: Doesn’t do much 
186: My best friend: Is my girlfriend 
185: My favorite shampoo is: Shamu 
184: Xbox or ps3: Deck of cards 
183: Piggy banks are: Cute decoration, inefficient coin collector 
182: In my pockets: I’m in pajamas 
181: On my calendar: Work, as that’s the only thing in my life scheduled. Also a haircut within a few days 
180: Marriage is: Great for legal benefits, stupid for expensive ceremonies 
179: Spongebob can: Please end soon it turned idiotic long ago 
178: My mom: Is abusive (sorry to bring the mood down) 
177: The last three songs I bought were? Who buys songs anymore?? 
176: Last YouTube video watched: History of the World 
175: How many cousins do you have? On my dad’s side, 8. On my mom’s side, no idea 
174: Do you have any siblings? An older brother 
173: Are your parents divorced? Nope 
172: Are you taller than your mom? Probably not 
171: Do you play an instrument? Nope 
170: What did you do yesterday? Absolutely nothing just like every day

[ I Believe In ] 
169: Love at first sight: Nope 
168: Luck: Yes 
167: Fate: Nope 
166: Yourself: Not really 
165: Aliens: Yeah there’s gotta be some life out there 
164: Heaven: No 
163: Hell: No 
162: God: The Flying Spaghetti Monster? Hell yes. Be boiled for your sins 
161: Horoscopes: Nope and frankly if you do I find you uneducated 
160: Soul mates: No 
159: Ghosts: Nah 
158: Gay Marriage: Believing??? In love,??? And commitment??????? Between two people???????? Obviously! 
157: War: Never 
156: Orbs: I believe in Orbeez 
155: Magic: No it’s just science we can’t explain, or illusions we can’t see the entirety of

[ This or That ] 
154: Hugs or Kisses: Kisses 
153: Drunk or High: Music 
152: Phone or Online: Online on my phone 
151: Red heads or Black haired: Black haired 
150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes 
149: Hot or cold: Hot 
148: Summer or winter: Summer 
147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn 
146: Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate 
145: Night or Day: Night 
144: Oranges or Apples: Apples 
143: Curly or Straight hair: Straight 
142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds 
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk Chocolate 
140: Mac or PC: Mac!! 
139: Flip flops or high heels: Flip Flops 
138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: ugly and sweet are opposites now?? I guess sweet and poor 
137: Coke or Pepsi: Fruit Punch 
136: Hillary or Obama: Obama 
135: Burried or cremated: Cremated 
134: Singing or Dancing: Singing 
133: Coach or Chanel: Money to spend on actual useful things 
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Who??? 
131: Small town or Big city: Big City 
130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target 
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Both suck, but I’d choose Stiller 
128: Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure. My feet are too ticklish 
127: East Coast or West Coast: West Coast USA 
126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas, I don’t like being the center of attention 
125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate 
124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney 
123: Yankees or Red Sox: What is a sport? How do??

[ Here’s What I Think About ] 
122: War: What is it good for? Absolutely nothing 
121: George Bush: “Mr. President, what are your thoughts on Katrina?” “We’re gonna find her. And we’re gonna bring her to justice.“ 
120: Gay Marriage: Its a marriage between two people in love. Celebrate, but don’t go broke in one day 
119: The presidential election: Media and rich people control it basically, and I’d rather it be an actual democratic popular vote. Trump is a clown and should have never won 
118: Abortion: Its a woman’s right to choose. Personally I think the world is overpopulated anyway and more people should adopt rather than try to conceive 
117: MySpace: Never had one 
116: Reality TV: Scripted, not reality 
115: Parents: Good or bad, they influence your whole life because they were there at the start. Mine went bad and ruined me 
114: Back stabbers: Oh I love them- what?? They suck. No one should be betrayed like that 
113: Ebay: Never used it but it got the ball rolling for Amazon 
112: Facebook: I only use it to message/call my friends, and to see unlimited amounts of dogs 
111: Work: It’s a necessary evil 
110: My Neighbors: Quiet, the only one I met was a total bitch though 
109: Gas Prices: I don’t drive 
108: Designer Clothes: C'mon people there are way better uses for your money 
107: College: Shouldn’t be expected of teenagers 
106: Sports: Boring, overhyped, the players overpaid 
105: My family: Worthless, judgmental pricks 
104: The future: Uncertain

[ Last time I ] 
103: Hugged someone: Sunday (3 days ago), when my friend picked me up from work 
102: Last time you ate: Italian ice about 1.5 hours ago (8:15pm) 
101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: A month ago 
100: Cried in front of someone: A month ago maybe?? 
99: Went to a movie theater: Many many months ago 
98: Took a vacation: A year ago 
97: Swam in a pool: Two years ago? 
96: Changed a diaper: Never 
95: Got my nails done: My 16th birthday I think (almost two years ago) 
94: Went to a wedding: Eight years ago? 
93: Broke a bone: Never 
92: Got a peircing: I was 14 and got my ears pierced (almost 4 years ago) 
91: Broke the law: Never 
90: Texted: A minute ago

[ MISC ] 
89: Who makes you laugh the most: My friend Brad. He’s so inappropriate but his jokes I cannot stop laughing at 
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Not paying bills other than Internet 
87: The last movie I saw: Coraline 
86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Moving to California 
85: The thing im not looking forward to: Paying for rent in California 
84: People call me: To friends: Lys. To family: Alyssa. To my girlfriend: Lyssy. To everyone else: annoying 
83: The most difficult thing to do is: Get up out of bed every day 
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Nope I do not drive 
81: My zodiac sign is: Cancer 
80: The first person i talked to today was: My friend Jessica 
79: First time you had a crush: Preschool, this boy in my class Marshall 
78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: Myself 
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Yesterday, idk? 
76: Right now I am talking to: My phone in the way of typing 
75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Survive hopefully. I also wanna be a flight attendant 
74: I have/will get a job: Have a job as assistant manager of an arcade 
73: Tomorrow: I’m going food shopping and seeing my annoying cousin Barbara (she has two boyfriends and they both treat her like shit. It’s not poly it’s just cheating) 
72: Today: I actually made a meal that was nice 
71: Next Summer: I’ll be living in California 
70: Next Weekend: I have to face my parents for the first time since February. I hate it 
69: I have these pets: A ball of moss named Mo 
68: The worst sound in the world: My girlfriend crying 
67: The person that makes me cry the most is: My father 
66: People that make you happy: My girlfriend Averi 
65: Last time I cried: A few weeks ago?? 
64: My friends are: Averi, Raven, Jessica 
63: My computer is: My phone 
62: My School: Is nonexistent 
61: My Car: Is also nonexistent 
60: I lose all respect for people who: Hate on others for no reason 
59: The movie I cried at was: Toy Story 3 
58: Your hair color is: Black 
57: TV shows you watch: None 
56: Favorite web site: Tumblr usually 
55: Your dream vacation: California 
54: The worst pain I was ever in was: Once I got constipated a few months ago for 48 hours. I screamed 
53: How do you like your steak cooked: Medium 
52: My room is: Either super messy or super clean. Right now messy 
51: My favorite celebrity is: Jacksepticeye 
50: Where would you like to be: In my girlfriend’s arms on a beach 
49: Do you want children: Right now I don’t think I ever would but if I ever did I’d adopt 
48: Ever been in love: Yes I am now 
47: Who’s your best friend: My girl 
46: More guy friends or girl friends: Girl friends 
45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Sleeping 
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: AVERI 
43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Stalin did 
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Nope 
41: Have you pre-named your children: I did with my ex. Never again 
40: Last person I got mad at: My grandmother 
39: I would like to move to: California 
38: I wish I was a professional: Sleeper [ My Favorites ] 
37: Candy: Swedish Fish or Nerds 
36: Vehicle: Volkswagen Beetle 
35: President: Biden 
34: State visited: California 
33: Cellphone provider: Cricket 
32: Athlete: Me, running from my responsibilities 
31: Actor: Eddie Redmayne 
30: Actress: Anna Kendrick 
29: Singer: Laura Jane Grace 
28: Band: Against Me! 
27: Clothing store: Thrift shops 
26: Grocery store: Safeway 
25: TV show: Adventure Time 
24: Movie: Wall-E 
23: Website: Pornhu- I mean Tumblr 
22: Animal: Red Panda 
21: Theme park: Disney World 
20: Holiday: Christmas 
19: Sport to watch: Extreme Chess Mega X 
18: Sport to play: How Late Can I Get Up Before Concerning My Family 
17: Magazine: :enizagaM 
16: Book: The Underneath 
15: Day of the week: Saturday 
14: Beach: Any beach 
13: Concert attended: Fall Out Boy x Paramore 
12: Thing to cook: Pasta with alfredo sauce 
11: Food: Bacon egg & cheese on a bagel 
10: Restaurant: TGI Fridays 
9: Radio station: Night Vale Community Radio 
8: Yankee candle scent: Ass 
7: Perfume: Averi’s 
6: Flower: Averi 
5: Color: Orange - the color of Averi’s voice 
4: Talk show host: John Oliver 
3: Comedian: Bo Burnham 
2: Dog breed: Corgi 
1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Hell yeah I wouldn’t lie to you

[whogoesthere-cleveland-blog]

John’s Diner

The Place: John’s Diner Location: Lakewood, Ohio

Susan: John’s Diner - Where even your lowest expectations are already too high.

Shannon: Blessed are those who expect nothing, for they will finally be disappointed.

Overview of John’s Diner

Shannon: There is so much potential here. A great location, ample parking, and historic roots. Unfortunately John’s Diner doesn’t capitalize on any of this. In fact, their overt reluctance to give this joint the facelift it so badly deserves and turn it into that quaint nod to yesteryear should be an obvious indication of their all-around slapdash attitude. They aren’t really concerned with you, the patron, nor are they interested in helping continue to revitalize a city that’s recently been named one of the top ten most exciting suburbs in the nation by real estate blog, Movoto. The owners of John’s Diner are in business to serve, alright, but unfortunately all they seem to serve are their own interests.  Anchored at the corner of Detroit Avenue and Park Row in Lakewood, Ohio, it seems that John’s Diner has become a beacon for the downtrodden. I used to visit this place as a kid and recall many a happy Saturday mornings liberally applying packet after packet of grape jelly to my white toast or pouring stainless steel carafes of warm syrup all over my pancakes - griddle cakes in greasy spoon parlance. I even learned my first lesson in commerce at John’s Diner when I was tasked with a responsibility well beyond my years: ’Go on up to the counter and pay the check’ my mom would instruct as she handed me a well-worn collection of one dollar bills from her embroidered wallet and continued to smoke and jaw-jack with the other adults. But times have changed, and where there once existed home cooking served “piping hot as you like it” there is now only propaganda and neglect.

Susan: I’ve never been here before. My only reference to John’s Diner is when a friend of mine said the cook was smoking a cigarette while preparing food on the grill. Granted, this was back when one could still smoke in restaurants, but still, that had to be a health code violation even in the 90s. I’m supposed to add a description of the interior, but I don’t think mere words could do it justice. Authentic 50s diner front with a perhaps 60s addition. There’s an organ in the foyer that doesn’t work. The interior décor was both confusing and filthy, and if that’s a design aesthetic, they nailed it. Oddly framed prints or articles cut out of the newspaper hung askew on the walls. Some were sports related (but not necessarily Cleveland sports), but others were just random, faded “art”. I don’t know. Half of the ceiling fans were painted bright red and royal blue, though this did not match any color scheme in the restaurant or the other crud colored ceiling fans. The booths were crimson and Duct tape. It was strangely silent in there, except if one sits at the counter, then you can almost hear a radio playing Richard Marx.

After being seated, we both started off with coffee.

Susan: The coffee can best be described as mothball flavored hot water, but with an acrid, bitter aftertaste. I mean, I’m not really a coffee snob. I’ll drink diner coffee with the best of ‘em, but this was just a completely different animal. Like they really went out of their way to make it taste bad in a manner that no other diner coffee is bad. In this area, John’s Diner excelled.

Shannon: My guess is that maybe they were storing the mothballs too close to the industrial sized drum of Folgers crystal flakes - a coffee that may have fooled upscale coke heads at Tavern on the Green in the 80s, but wasn’t fooling us in the here and now. Coffee is a staple in diners across the land. Plus we live in an age where private roasteries are busting out all over and yet John’s Diner somehow manages to turn a blind eye to each and every local purveyor of quality beans, and instead goes with whatever generic blend they’ve been brewing since time immemorial. Coffee could be an easy and inexpensive fix that would immediately boost the dining experience and make patrons a little more forgiving about the rest of the troubling menu.

We both ordered simple meals:

Susan: I got the grilled cheese and fries. Uh, it was of a lower quality Denny’s variety. Very, very generic, however, I felt it was least likely to induce dysentery and therefore, my best choice. I ate it. It was unremarkable. I did not get sick. The bar was set low for John’s Diner. Shannon - I got a pretty generic breakfast. Scrambled eggs and pancakes.  I don’t want to brag, but I can make this stuff at home so I was kind of hoping a place specializing in breakfast might be able to create this dish with a little more elan than what I’m capable of. Not so. The scrambled eggs seemed to be hemorrhaging water, and the pancakes - Susan, you pointed out that they looked like McDonald’s hotcakes - also pretty much tasted like them.  Something I learned pretty quickly was that you need a backup plan for breakfast once you leave John’s Diner. I went to Starbucks immediately after and got the Gouda sandwich. Susan- Your breakfast was deemed “room temperature flavored”. Mmmm….Just like Gramma used to make!

We both worried about the elderly waitstaff:

Shannon: Maybe these waitresses (and let’s face it, they are waitresses; the word server somehow passed this generation by) are just looking for a way to make a little money during retirement or maybe John’s Diner is located in the Twilight Zone; either way, I worried they might be a little too old to be on their feet for that many hours per day; and quite possibly lacked the mental acuity to keep track of the myriad requests from each table. Then again, this job could be a punishment for a crime they committed in a past life and slinging hash at John’s Diner is their own brand of purgatory until they have atoned for their sins. I’m not really sure, I just know I felt uncomfortable being served by someone who already seemed to have outlasted their expiration date - although outlasting an expiration date seems to be a popular theme at John’s Diner. Susan: Yeah, a veteran wait staff, for sure. Ha! Your hypothesis was that these ladies were part of an octogenarian work re-entry program hosted by the Department of Aging. This would make me feel better if this were true. Otherwise, it’s kind of a bummer. But I will say, our waitress was very attentive and pretty nice. We did not want for anything (except for wanting to not be there). I would have felt bad if I had to ask for anything additional. Oh! Maybe that’s why the coffee is so God awful! These Golden Girls aren’t trying to run back and forth for refills all damned day long! OK, now it makes sense.

Who Goes There? Susan: Aging sea captains (primarily Greek), elderly men who live in boarding houses, a few regular people, a few regulars, and those that have lived a life of regret.

Shannon: People who never learn from their mistakes.

What philosophical school of thought would be most comfortable at John’s Diner?

Shannon: Nihilists and the hopeless.

Susan: No frills pragmatists with declining taste buds.

If John’s Diner were a TV show hangout, who would be a regular?

Susan: Maybe Archie Bunker...

Shannon: I could see Ralph Kramden stopping by every morning to shoot the breeze and fill his thermos with some of that signature hot mothball water.

Susan: In other words, curmudgeons with no more fucks to give.

Additional thoughts:

Shannon: I was pleased to see the smoking section had been relocated from the kitchen to a space out back with one plastic lawn chair. The last time I was there - which was easily a decade ago - the cook was standing over the grill with a cigarette hanging from his mouth and six inches of ash ready to drop and get scrambled out of existence. Another thing, it might not hurt to hire a professional cleaning crew. The waitstaff probably can’t really operate heavy water-soaked vintage mops anymore what with all those hip replacements and bad knees, so maybe once a week the owner could spring for a legitimate cleaning crew to swing by with a little bleach just to help ensure that the E. coli has less options for breeding.

Susan: Yeah, speaking of which, when I told a mutual acquaintance we went there she immediately said, “OH! Did you get sick? My friend just went there and she swears it made her sick!” What could I say other than, “Probably”?

Would you go back?

Shannon: Maybe. Like if the car broke down in front of the place right in the middle of a snow blizzard.

Susan: No. Not even then. I really can’t think of any circumstance that would compel me to return to John’s Diner. Oh, maybe on a dare. I would go on a dare if the stakes were high enough.

Is it a good place to bring Neal in a Baby Bjorn? Susan: I think yes, because the cleanliness standards are already so low. Why would they care if you brought a cat in there? What’s going to happen? He’s going to somehow “mess it up”? Bah hahahaha!  That’s absurd. At the very least, he would improve the overall experience for diners.

Shannon: Yes. Somebody has to catch the mice.

Hours of Operation and Payment Options: John’s Diner only accepts cash (and probably sobriety tokens and gold doubloons); and is open Monday through Saturday, 7 am - 8 pm and Sunday, 7 am - 3 pm

[darklingandy]

Spirits of the Earth and Air

Chapter Twenty-Two: Afternoon Planning 

A half-empty McDonald’s parking lot. An impatient October wind. A pixie riding it swooped low over the parked cars to join a crowd of fey lurking around the windows of the restaurant. It landed, tried to shoved its way to the window between two trolls with their noses pressed to the glass, and was swatted away. Buzzing angrily, it swerved to sit on a slide in the playpen, but the elf already sitting there gnashed its teeth. The pixie spat back. With no place to settle, it vaulted the playpen fence and zipped towards the front doors. Several human customers were exiting the McDonalds, carrying food and drinks, and the pixie, cackling madly, flew straight at them.

The pixie upended a cup. A large coke tipped over and went down a girl’s front. She let out a shriek at the cold.

On the other side of the glass panes, Hiccup saw the whole interaction and grimaced. The pixie caught sight of his expression and looked ashamed of itself for a half a second. It buzzed away.

“Ugh, these are all just drawings.” Astrid, sitting across from Hiccup and Jack, was the only one with her back to the windows. “This is so not helpful.” She took an annoyed bite out of her burger.

The three of them were crowded into the least visible — to humans — corner of the McDonalds. Hiccup and Jack had smooshed into the booth half of the table. Hiccup was nursing a hot coffee between his thin hands. Jack had shadows under his eyes; he’d ridden in Astrid’s car again and the metal was starting to get to him, the iron-poisoning making him look pale and tired.

They each had a different notebook in front of them and were slowly coming through the pages, searching for anything that might help them, but so far the notebooks had been unyeilding.  Hiccup scraped a hand down his face, then winced as his fingers dig into the bruise that he’d forgotten about. His faint hiss of pain drew Jack’s attention.

“Sorry,” Hiccup muttered, peering at Jack through his fingers.

Jack tugged his hand down. “Hey, let me see your face.”

“What? No. Why?”

“I’m not exactly an expert,” said Jack, “but I’m still one of the aos si.” He raised his hand to Hiccup face and—

dark 2am hallway, Stoick looming in the shadows, a snap-fast fist coming at him

—Hiccup flinched away, sucking in a breath.

Jack frowned and lowered his hand. “Are you okay?” His hand was still wrapped around his Hiccup’s wrist, his fingers cool against Hiccup’s skin. Hiccup focused on the feeling to bring himself back into the moment.

Across the table, Astrid stared at him in concern. “Hiccup? Are you okay?”

His face heated up with shame. “Fine,” he muttered. He didn’t look at either of them.

“Hiccup,” said Jack in a low, calm voice, “I’m going to touch your face.”

Hiccup’s muscles tensed up and he tried to force them to relax again. “Fine,” he gritted out.

Jack’s fingertips were cool on his bruise, the touch light and careful. A thumb against his jaw, three fingers along his cheekbone, a pinky on his forehead, brushing in a long slow motion, and a weird feeling bloomed under Hiccup’s skin; both cold and hot, it tingled a bit, and then faded. Jack pulled away. “Better.”

Hiccup touched his face. It wasn’t tender anymore, just a little sore. “What did you do?” he blurted out, staring at Jack.

Jack smiled. “Helped, I hope,” he said with a shrug. “I’ve never done but healing magic, but…”

Even Astrid could see a difference. “What just happened?” she said with interest, leaning across the table to peer at Hiccup. “Your face looks better.”

Jack gave Hiccup a grin that said he was very pleased with himself, still sitting too close.

Hiccup’s entire face felt hot. “Faery magick, apparently,” he muttered. He bent back over the pages in front of him.

Hiccup’s mother had been the type of person to date her notebooks, luckily, and they began their search for answers in the earliest sketchbooks and notebooks.

Hiccup studied each page, each sketch and doodle, each cramped note, with slow and hungry amazement. It was all so similar to the way he’d kept his own sketchbooks; she looped her S’s the same way he did, the lines of hands curved the same way. But he could see subtle differences; the dots of her i’s were stabs, she’d drawn eyes with more softness to them.

Valka clearly hadn’t had the same reserve with the fey that Hiccup had. She’d drawn them up close and personal; they were sketched in all sorts of familiar poses, their expressions telling, like she’d known them personally.

In particular, sketches of a fey girl with feathers growing in her hair repeated through the pages. Valka had known her: there were several sketches of the girl sitting in rooms that Hiccup recognized from his own house. Here she was sitting in an armchair in their living room. Here she was hovering in the kitchen.

As they combed further through the dry pages, their hands growing stained with pencil graphite smudges, little notes and bits of writing began to appear next to drawings. Things like:

to find something lost: stick a pin in the sofa

lavender under the pillow helps with bad dreams

…and other such odd little spells littered the pages. Hiccup folded down the corners of the pages to keep track of them, thinking they might come in useful someday.

For a while, there was only silence in their corner, broken only by pages being flipped over and occasional excited murmuring.

“…trolls under bridges…no that doesn’t help…”

“…whoa, kelpies are a thing…”

“…haha, she drew that obnoxious little sprite from the library, I hate that little bugger…”

In a surge of energy, Jack surged forward and smacked his hand on the table. Hiccup jumped, which made Astrid jump and stare around wildly.

“Found something!” Jack declared. He spun around the sketchbook in his hand — very creased and covered in graphite smudges — so that Hiccup could read it right side up. “It's a spell.”

It was a page full of cramped writing, with a paragraph and list of ingredients like a recipe. It was messy. The top read ‘serum to give The Sight!!!’ and Valka had scrawled, ‘try to give to Stoick?’ Hiccup wondered why she never had given it to Stoick, then caught sight of the date in the corner: October 22. This had been written one week before she’d disappeared. No wonder why.

“Well this is something, but maybe we can try it,” Hiccup said. “You think we should try it on—”

“—Astrid?” Jack finished. His gaze slid towards her, eyes glittering. The line of his mouth went tense; things he didn’t feel allowed to ask building up in his lungs. Hiccup could tell. Jack wanted to ask. “Do you think she…?” he began.

“Astrid? She’ll jump on it.” Before Jack could react, Hiccup slid the sketchbook across the table toward her.

She was already staring at them — at him, rather — waiting impatiently, and she caught it before it could slide over the edge. “What’s this?”

“An idea.”

At the sight of the title, her eyes widened. She latched on, fingers curling over the edges of the cover. Her lips moved silently as she scanned it. She cleared her throat. “You think we could? Eyebright, mugwort, mushroom from a faery ring — how are we going to get all this stuff?”

“Those are just plants,” said Hiccup. He leaned forward too, excited at the possibility. “I don’t know about the mushroom—”

“We can ask one of them.” Jack pointed out the window toward the group of fair folk who were clustered out there watching them. “I bet one of them would do it.”

“What? No,” Hiccup protested. “Why would they?”

“After what happened in the court? We’re a little bit famous. And they don’t like Pitch.”

Hiccup’s gaze cut sideways at the windows, watching the fey from the corners of his eyes. He chewed on his lip. “I don’t know…”

“What’d he say?” Astrid demanded. She was starting to work out when Jack was talking based solely on Hiccup’s behavior. She still kept staring into space around Hiccup, only sometimes looking in the right place for Jack.

“He thinks I should ask one of the fair folk that’s been following us.”

Astrid’s back went rigid. “There are faeries following us?!” She turned around in her chair as if she could spot them with their eyeballs pressed up against the glass, noses smushed. Some of the folk saw her and actually did that: made faces at her, stuck out their tongues. But her eyes swept right past them and she spun back around to Hiccup.

“Yeah, seems like there are always are.” Hiccup propped his chin against his palm with a weary sigh. He glared at the rude folk.

Jack leaned toward Hiccup and touched his sleeve. “You don’t have to talk to them. I’ll do it,” he offered in a low voice.

Hiccup nodded. “That would… be better. Thanks.”

Without another word, Jack slid out from the booth and went outside. He pushed open the double glass doors and half the fey immediately scattered, vanishing so fast that Hiccup couldn’t see where they’d gone.

Jack stepped outside. The rushing wind tossed his hair; it was cold but that never bothered him. Folk scattered before him; even after word of his rebellion must have spread, he was still bound to Pitch and brought fear of his master wherever he went. Other folk knew he could be a danger to him.

Half the folk stayed, eying him warily. A pointy-eared elf sitting on the brick wall, legs dangling, gnashed its teeth at him. “What do you want?” it hissed.

Jack drew himself up to his full height and glared at the elf. “I’m here as an emissary of The Sighted One,” Jack said. A murmur went through the small group of folk; a few of the smaller ones bowed in awe.

“Then you must know,” said a pixie, cunning gleaming in its eyes, “if the rumors are true. Is he going to free us?”

Jack’s stomach flipped over, but he ignored it. “He asks a favor. We are working on something. Something that will help,” he added. It wasn’t a lie, not technically. He didn’t say who it would help. “But we need something from Faerie. Will one of you go on an errand?”

There was silence. The folk shifted awkwardly and avoided his eyes. Finally, a small fey boy only a few feet tall stepped forward. “I will go on this quest,” he said grandly, bowing. “What does The Sighted One require?”

Jack stifled a giggle. “Only a mushroom from the edge of a faerie ring.”

A pixie squealed. “He is working a spell then!”

“Yeah,” said Jack. “Sure.”

The fey boy bowed again. “It will be done.” And then — zip! — he was gone in a whoosh of air.

Back inside, Astrid was still combing through the spell. “What’s a witchstone?” she said. “It says to pass all the herbs through one before adding them.”

On the bench beside Hiccup, Toothless perked his ears up. “Mreo?” he asked, raising his head. In one fluid motion, he unfurled himself and leapt onto the table.

Hiccup ignored him. “I don’t know.” He drummed his fingers on the table, restless. “Let’s just worry about the other stuff first.”

“Mer!” Toothless turned an anxious circle on top of the sketchbook pages with the spell, confusing Astrid a great deal as the paper crinkled up, and then paced over to Hiccup and placed a paw on his face. “Meeerrr!” he said again, more urgently.

“What.” Hiccup stared flatly into his cat’s yellow-green eyes. “If you’re hungry steal some of Astrid’s food.”

Toothless swatted him on the nose. “Mooow!” He snagged a french fry off Astrid’s food tray, then turned and leapt off the table. Still carrying his single, soggy french fry, he darted out the glass front doors just as Jack was coming in. Toothless let out an impatient growl and Jack stood back, holding the door open for the cat as he trotted off, tail waving.

“Where’s he going in a hurry?” Jack slid back inside and a gust of wind clanged the door shut behind him. The blast of cold disturbed an old man two tables over, who straightened his newspaper with a grumble and disappeared behind it.

“I don’t know,” said Hiccup. “Out, I guess. I don’t really know anything about him anymore.”

Jack frowned at that, but said nothing. He snagged Astrid’s McFlurry and slid back into his seat beside Hiccup, licking the spoon.

“Jack’s back,” Hiccup said, somewhat unnecessarily, since she was carefully watching him speak to thin air.

She just shook her head. “Okay,” she began, with the air of a woman coming up with a plan. She had her phone out on the table next to the notebook and was googling with one hand. “Obviously the powdered egg shell won’t be too hard, we have eggs at my house… faery tears, Jack can supply those, I’m assuming…”

Jack looked disgruntled but didn’t deny it.

She went on. “It’ll be hard to find a four leaf clover but we might be able to…and rainwater…where are we going to get rainwater? It rained four days ago.”

“Do you know anyone who has an empty pool?” Hiccup suggested.

“No,” said Astrid. “We have a birdbath in the garden, though, maybe there’s still some in there. We’ll have to check. The rest of this is just, like, spices and stuff. I think we have most of it in the kitchen. And that’s it. Except for the witchstone, we can probably get all this. It has to be applied at either dawn or dusk. If we’re quick, we could have it done by tonight and I could start seeing the fey.”

"I don't know," said Hiccup, doubtful. "What will that do?"

Astrid leaned forward until her feathered blonde bangs fell over one eye. "Hiccup, it's all we've got." She gazed at him, earnest and intent. "I mean, what else are we gonna do? It's not like we have any better ideas."

Astrid and Jack both stared at him, watching, waiting. Hiccup looked back and forth between them. He took a deep breath. "Okay," he said.

Their grins lit up their faces.

"Yes!" Astrid pulled the page toward her to read. "Okay, I think we probably already have the celery seed and orris root…and maybe the eyebright. And mugwort? That's a spice right?"

"I have no idea."

"If it's a spice, we have it."

"Why?"

“Hiccup.” Astrid grabbed him by the shoulders to stare into his eyes. “Ask yourself, are my parents the type of people to have an elaborate spice collection just for appearances? The answer is yes. Yes they are.”

He raised his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. Do you also have four leaf clovers in your magical spice collection? Because I doubt it."

"No. So we'll have to find one.” Thoughtful, she chewed on the end of her straw. “Where's a good place to look? Tam Lin Park has a lot of grass, let's check there."

Jack interjected. "Did she say Tam Lin Park?" he asked in mild interest. "That's…huh."

"So, to the park, then my house to start brewing."

"Yes," said Hiccup, with the feeling of agreeing to something ominous.

"Great!" She smacked the table in excitement. "We have a plan!"

“That’s it?” echoed Hiccup. Astrid looked at him; he stared back. He turned and looked at Jack. Jack looked back at him, and shrugged. “Great,” he said. “So we have a plan. Let’s go.”

Jack grinned and shoved oreo ice cream into his mouth. “This stuff’s better than I thought.”

Astrid looked around in confusion. “Where’d I leave my McFlurry?”

“Jack has it.”

“Make him give it back!” Astrid swore. “That little—”  next chapter >>

[thedesperatehousehusband]

It’s the Super Bowel. Or Bowl....

It’s finally time for that most American of events. The Super Bowl. Pitting the Kansas City Chiefs against the San Francisco 49ers. I don’t really care who wins but Kansas City hasn’t played in a Super Bowl in 50 years so I’m rooting for them even though that Jimmy Garapolo is very, very, very attractive while Patrick Mahomes doesn’t do much for me.

Let’s talk pre-show. Yolanda Adams was lovely during America the Beautiful. Demi Lovato sang the shit out of the national anthem. She’s a talent and I like that she is very open and vulnerable about her issues and problems.

Shifting to commericals…..

·       Secret – Let’s Fight Inequality. It’s strong. It works. I dig it.

·       McDonald’s – All the favorite orders of celebs was great. Because who doesn’t love McDonald’s? If you don’t love McDonald’s, the commies win.

·       NFL 100 – I don’t know if this was a spot or if this was a pre-game video but whatever it was it was amazing. 100% loved it. That kid who ran onto the field was the HAPPIEST kid in the W-O-R-L-D!

·       Fast & Furious 9 – Who gives a fuck?

·       Quibi – What is Quibi? That spot was heinous. What a fucking waste of money.

·       Tide – The stains can wait. I don’t love it but I am appreciative of the pull through from P&G. It seems to be their Super Bowl thing. They’ve just focused on this idea that the stain can wait the whole game. I love Charlie Day and Emily Hampshire from Schitt’s Creek is a hoot but do people know who they are? I mean run of the mill Americans watching the Super Bowl. It feels a little niche with the casting.

·       Wal-Mart Pickup – I hate to say it because Wal-Mart is the devil but that was a good spot.

·       Black Widow – I’m into it plus it features Florence Pugh and after Little Women I am in love with her.

·       Rocket Mortgage – Clever, clever, clever. I like the Jason Momoa gag and closing with Lisa Bonet was an additional level of meta clever. Maybe too meta?

·       Porsche – Terrible.

·       Snickers – This is my favorite spot so far. Hilarious. Luis Guzman is a riot. A damn riot.

·       Hulu with Tom Brady – Not today, Satan. Not today. What a douche.

·       Mountain Dew Zero Sugar – If there’s no sugar, what’s in it? Crank? Mountain Dew is garbage. Regardless of Bryan Cranston and Tracee Ellis-Ross, that shit ain’t good.

·       SquareSpace – Winona, MN. We’ve done this whole Fargo send up before. For like 20 years. I’d rather see jokes about Amy Klobuchar bringing a hot dish casserole to a fundraiser potluck.

·       New York Life – I really was into this until it was for New York Life.

·       Fanduel – Bullshit.

·       Hyundai Sonata – John Krasinski, Rachel Dratch and Chris Evans ALL IN ONE PLACE. This is a close second to the Snickers commercial.

·       Cheetos Popcorn – You can’t touch this. So, so, so smart and such a funny spot. New favorite.

·       Olay Regernist – I want to like this one but it was silly AND heavy-handed. That’s hard to accomplish but not in a good way.

·       Michelob Ultra – Gimme a break. They’re giving donations to organic farmers to grow shit for Mich Ultra? Lord….don’t pee off the roof and tell me it’s raining.

·       Avocados from Mexico – Pretty funny and who doesn’t love a moment with Molly Ringwald? No one. Similar to McDonald’s, if you don’t like Molly Ringwald??? The commies win.

·       Hard Rock Hotel – Ugh. What a waste of J. Lo and A-Rod. Why, oh, why did they have to bring in DJ Khalid? I just don’t understand why he’s a thing.

·       Pringles – Rancid.

·       TurboTax – I want to like this but I just don’t think I can. All people are tax people? I dunno. It’s not like anyone wants to pay taxes.

·       Tide – Still with the laundry later. It’s a smart approach.

·       Genesis SUV – John Legend and Chrissy Teigen are quickly become America’s couple, no? I liked it.

·       Coca-Cola Energy – What’s up with Jonah Hill? He looks like shit on a shingle. Martin Scorsese looks fine and he’s nearly 80. The same cannot be said for Jonah Hill.

·       Planter’s – I KNEW IT. I knew the death of Mr. Peanut was a part of something else. Super, super smart. Not sure it’s worth the investment or whether or not it will drive sales but VERY smart.

·       James Bond No Time to Die – Like Black Widow, I’m into it.

·       Google – Fuck me. That poor man trying to remember Loretta. We sobbed.

·       Sabra Hummus – This is how I mus? I don’t think so.

·       Verizon – Awful.

·       Pop Tarts – Jonathan Van Ness hawking Pop Tarts? I don’t get the connection.

·       Hummer – An electric Hummer? If I had a dollar……

·       Minions: The Rise of Gru – I’m NOT into it.

·       Saint Archer – What the fuck?

·       Wal-Mart – The pickup spot was waaaay better. Thank god. I though Wal-Mart was stepping up their marketing. They are not. Still crap.

Halftime show. Folks, I’ve had a on again, off again relationship with J. Lo. Right now, it’s on again. I am really digging her at the moment. Not sure that Shakira actually sang a note but whatevs. It was a solid show with the emphasis on the show. No one is expecting to witness a “Grammy” moment at the Super Bowl. Just do your hits. Bring the fireworks and wheel the set off the field.

This game is actually quite good.

·       Sodastream – Mars Water or Mark’s Water? Funny shit.

·       Hunter’s on Amazon Prime – Ummmmmm. What is this show? We’s a-gonna be watching that. Holy shit.

·       Pepsi Zero Sugar – You know what’s stupid? Pepsi invoking Coke colors and iconography. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

·       Heinz – Pretty OK.

·       Bud Light Seltzer – Post Malone is probably the right spokesperson for this particular product but it sure doesn’t speak to me.

·       Little Caesar’s – Meh.

·       Doritos – No.

·       Kia – Not terrible. Not great. Not the reaction you want after dropping 4 million for 30 seconds.

·       Turkish Airlines – Pretty smart but where can you actually find Turkish Airlines in the US? New York, Atlanta, Chicago? Where else? I’m not ever getting onto a Turkish Airlines plane from Indy.

·       Reese’s Take 5 – I really enjoyed this spot. Funny stuff.

·       Tide – Now with Wonder Woman and Charlie Day. It’s a solid campaign.

·       Alexa – Good stuff with Ellen and Portia. Do you think that everyone understands they’re married? I still wonder if Linda, Donna and Brenda from middle America actually get that they’re a couple and not just friends.

·       Michelob Ultra – The Jimmy Fallon and John Cena spot was pretty funny.

·       Xfinity – Terrible.

·       Nissan Rogue – This is not a new spot. I’ve already seen it. Don’t waste our time on old creative. So stupid.

·       Toyota Highlander – I wanted to like it but it was just too much.

·       Disney+ - All this new Marvel content makes me a little excited.

·       Discover No then Yes – I didn’t hate it but you kind of need to be paying attention. It happened quickly.

·       T-Mobile – Anthony Anderson’s real-life Mama. In the club. With cell service. Not bad but also a bit of cheap joke.

·       Budweiser – Typical American. Cheap.

·       P&G – Why?

·       Microsoft – This is how you extend your creative. They introduced their Katie Sowers spots a few weeks and NOW they’ve cut something new and made it about the Super Bowl. Solid.

·       Jeep Rubicon – SMARTEST AD IN THE SUPER BOWL. Loved it. Billy Murry reenacting Groundhog Day the movie on Groundhog Day the DAY to drive a Jeep over and over? Inspired.

·       Tide – We’ve wrapped it up with a clean shirt, everyone’s older and now with a dirty sweater. What started as not my favorite has turned into a solid outing by Tide.

·       Audi – So stupid. What the fuck was even happening?

Side note. Kyle Shanahan is 40. He also knows how to rock a hat. Hubba hubba. Also, this game continues to be quite exciting.

Great job, Chiefs! Fun, fun game.