#maybe theres something in there!☆!°•°•

[artbymesa]

I was just gonna put this in the tags, but maybe this will help someone else to share my story if anyone else feels less alone. And it got long. I was a valedictorian in highschool. I would not recommend it.

Take it from me-- Do well in school, absolutely. Please try to do well in school. Please. But Do Not let it destroy your mental health the way I let it. I had a very unhealthy relationship with it and tied it to my self worth.

(Story time under read more if it helps anyone)

Oversharing time-- it was my priority in highschool. It was a goal I set for myself to prove I could do it, and if I didn't, I think I saw myself as a failure. This was mostly self imposed, and theres probably a psychological explanation for this I wont get into for the sake of length. But I thought if I could at least do this, I had something on paper that I could point to for myself in a sort of external self validation or worth. "I dont know what metric to gauge myself on, but at least I accomplished this". Call it a method of self soothing, I suppose.

It led to almost daily panic attacks that I could not publically control. The whole nine yards, too. It was exhausting and physically draining. If I were honest with me-- I isolated myself. More human contact, more going out with friends, more of me being the one to make the point of reaching out to other people would have made a world of a healthier difference. My focus might not have been so singular and borderline obsessive because it was the only thing i held onto. It put me in a horrible place mentally, and it has severely affected my adult life. I am still trying to unlearn the "if I mess up learning how to do this on the first try, i am a failure" when its like....just learning how to pipe icing on cupcakes or something. I tied my worth to my ability to learn, and that can become extremely unhealthy in a hurry. Especially when I already had mental health issues that were at odds with learning quickly-- like panic attacks that come on fast and wipe my memory and ability to think clearly. Its like I chose the hardest thing for my brain to do, and that was the metric I weighed my self worth on.

What I told myself at the time was some variation of "if I do this, i'll have the best chance at financial support or a full ride for college." That doing this means I will become self sufficient.

That's not how it works, and thats not how it worked.

I got a $1k grant, which was nice, but nowhere near the full ride or anything close to the "heavens of opportunity rain down upon me" sort of thing I had hoped for in my head.

Valedictorians make for good metrics for the school. Attendance records make for good records for the school. Not in any way saying kids SHOULDN'T try to do well in school (please for the love of god, we need every scrap of education we can get in this country), but please find a healthy medium too.

Doing well enough in school and not letting it destroy your mental health do not have to be mutually exclusive. A 3.5 is probably good enough. That was the cut off for one of my bigger transfer scholarships later down the road, transfering from one college to another. Nowhere did I have to continue maintaining a 4.0.

Besides. I didnt get a 4.0 by retaining functional information. I got it by gaming the system of how testing worked.

The example I use is a very dry history class in college I had. Our final exam was the culmination of all of our final tests. Same questions, same answers. I did not remember the content. I did not learn anything. What I did? I remembered the first three words of the question and the first three words of the answer, and remembered them by association. And then I forgot it all within the hour.

In the meantime, foster your friendships. Good friendships. This can create business connections in the future. Kindness and community will get the majority of people further in life than being any kind of top of your class, I promise you.

But most of all, be kind to yourself and treat yourself gently.

are you or have you ever been a straight-A student?

[cautionwetfloor-png]

part of the problem is that one camp is telling others to not make any cake while refusing to make cakes themselves because they feel they shouldnt have to and its all very silly 😭

saiki k fandom can we please be normal i just got here bro. what.

also bonus doodle for you anon bc i like it when people ask me things. my actual thoughts are in tags But since this is the main bit people read: if people would like too ill happily do saiki k doodle requests lol

[not-rigel]

The color Blue

warnings: SAD, I cried writing this, sevika mourning isha, descriptions of grief

WC: 830

Sevika is sitting in her office, sifting through documents when theres a knock at her door. She grants whoever is there entry. They enter the room carrying a package, it's an expensive looking box and Sevika rolls her eyes at how gaudy it looks. Leave it to Piltover to make their packages fancy for no good reason.

"From the Kirraman estate,"  the delivery person tells her. She hasn't interacted with Caitlyn in months, not since they fought deep in the underground. The arrival of a package puzzles her. But she's had too a long day of failing to agree with the other councilmembers to care too much about anything right now.

Sevika nods to a chair, "Set it over there."

The delivery person sets the box onto the chair then hurriedly leaves the room. Sevika resumes reading over the documents until her eyes hurt and her head aches. She was questioning her strength, how much longer she could handle councilors barring her progress whenever they could. Everytime she felt she was making strides in securing Zaun's future, they'd band against her and dismiss her proposals. She could handle their looks of disgust, she could handle when they mentioned her past with Silco, but she couldn't handle the pressure. She has to do something right by her people or what was the point in being a councilor at all?

Sevika shoves all the papers from her desk, dispirited from all her recent failures. She was so alone and she was falling apart all over again, just like when Silco died. She shoves the emotion down, not allowing herself to feel it until she was ready to unbox it.

Sevika looks over at the package, thinking that she might need the distraction. She leaves her desk, walking over to the chair the box in sat in. She has some trouble getting it open, only having one arm. She can't wear her mechanical arm while up Topside, it's been considered a weapon and banned.

Eventually the package breaks open and what's inside breaks her. Her entire body is uncomfortably hot, like someone replaced all her blood with lightning. Inside the box was Isha's little hat. It was more tattered and torn than it was the last time she saw it. Gods, what did her little baby go through? Tucked next to her hat, was a letter. 

Sevika plucks the letter from the box, unfolding the paper to read the contents.

"I went back to where it happened. Not that I could change anything but just to remember. I ended up finding this and I couldn't just leave it there. I'm sorry I couldnt save her. I heard what she is to you so maybe you need this more than I do.

-Vi"

The note begins to blur then Sevika realizes she is crying. Her tears continue to obscure her vision and wet the letter, smudging the words. She tries to wipe them away with her wrist but new tears replace them immediately.

She can't do this right now, can't have these emotions. She can't breathe. Each word on the paper, each feeling she shoved below her chest came back without permission to choke her. They wrapped their fingers around her throat and wouldn't let go, no matter how much she scratched at then. She needs to fight this off, needs to survive the threat trying to kill her.

Sevika throws her body around, throws anything she can grab. There's no point in it, just run and push and shove until the grief releases its chokehold. But it's not letting go. She can't hear the bookshelf crashing onto the floor, just sees her hand shoving item after item. This usually worked, why wasn't it working this time?

The grief weakens her and she sinks into the floor, not able to stop the tears. It's the worst pain she's felt. But as soon as she lays on the floor, grabbing Isha's hat from where she left it and holds it to her chest, the grief stops choking her. Instead it hugs her back. Isha was too sweet, too beautiful.

Sevika reminisced the moments they had together. Where Isha would fall asleep in her arms, head resting on her shoulder. When Sevika would tease Isha for practically being Jinx's shadow. How Isha mimicked Sevika, making a little cardboard arm to fit over her own and they'd playfight.

Sevika is so proud of Isha but so angry that she was so familiar with violence. Sevika tried all she could to keep her away from it. But that little girl couldnt stay away. Or maybe violence couldnt stay away from her. Maybe violence chased Isha until peace took her.

Sevika forgets time as she remembers Isha for the first time, thinking of every beautiful thing that little girl was. Isha was the color blue. Isha was little rabbit ears. Isha was a head nuzzling into her shoulder. Isha was the reason Sevika fought. Isha is the reason Sevika fights.

[reallife6anoufriev6boy6]

can you make angst artkita hcs pls i NEED to see them suffer

angst artkita headcanons!

whoa! come down there anon…make angst artkita headcanons?

but of course…

tw for self harm and eating disorders

artyom definitely makes nikita cry on purpose. theres nothing more that he wants in the world then to see that boy cry and sob because of him.

artyom ignores nikita a lot. its rare that he answers his calls or messages and even when hes over hed probably ignore him. hed be sitting off to the side like a puppy waiting for a treat itll never get.

artyom has somehow gotten nikita to take nudes of himself for him. its more of just a tactic and thing to hold over him when he does something wrong - i also think artyom talks shit about nikita to his friends and shows off his nudes for shits and giggles.

if nikita ever found out he would have a panic attack and probably hurt himself really bad, but hed end up calling artyom over anyway, begging for his help because its too much for him to deal with on his own. hed forgive him immediately as soon as he gives him some half assed attention to his cuts.

artyom comments on nikitas weight and body all the time - poking his sides and talking about how he needs to lay off. it makes nikita feel terrible because he just wants artyom to think hes pretty (he never will either way) so he does just that, but it doesnt really work which further upsets him.

if artyom ever wanted to drug nikita he wouldnt even have to bother doing it himself. he just has to wait until nikita gets himself fucked up and then he can do whatever he wants to him.

artyom tries to make nikita throw up on purpose. he would probably make him lick and eat it up afterwards.

once nikita is feeling so god awful and completely beaten down then artyom will give him a little praise and comfort. hed tell him here and there that he was proud of him for doing something and that his body was looking a little better as well as other stuff - maybe even touching him a little too.

nikita definitely misses out on a lot of stuff just so he can hang around artyom. like if his mom ever planned anything for him he would just tell her off and go over to artyoms apartment instead.

nikita gets jealous really easily. any time artyom talks to a girl or something he gets upset and it becomes a whole big thing between the two of them which just leads to a lot of arguing and fighting.

nikita is typically just trailing behind artyom and following him around wherever he goes like a lost dog.

lots of physical fighting. artyom will take any opportunity he can to beat the absolute shit out of him - if he has a lot of pent up anger and stress then hes quick to let it out on nikita. nikita just takes it laying down, but will be begging and crying for him to stop - he stills lets it happen though because he wants to help artyom feel better.

nikitas always going home with new bruises and cuts. when his mom is there she’ll ask him about it but he’ll immediately cut her off and tell her its none of her business.

artyom doesnt like to smoke, but he will do it just so that he can put the cigarettes out on nikita when he feels like it.

artyom definitely encourages nikitas self harm behaviors - hed even help him do it. he would show him better ways to cut himself and what not just so that more blood can be drawn and he’ll be ruined further.

sex between them is just as terrible as youd imagine. nikita would be non stop begging and sobbing - wanting artyom to be gentle and not so mean with what hes doing, but artyom is just focused on getting done and using nikita as a human fleshlight basically. he never cares for anything thats sweet or romantic while the other just wants everything to take time and be as intimate as possible.

artyom specifically likes to cum on nikitas face and nikita has an oral fixation so it all works out super well. he makes him eat all the cum afterwards too while he laughs at him for how dumb he looks.

whenever theyre out killing people artyom will make nikita do a lot of the work and will call him a pussy if he doesnt want to do it. then he’ll proceed to laugh at him because of how hesitant and careful hes being.

[gikairan]

Ill add to this a little -

Corypheus created a dragon thrall in the events of Inquisition to make himself functionally immortal, which is almost identical to what the Evunaris did.

.... But no one at that time would have known the Evunaris did such a thing. So how the hell did he learn that? Its too much of a coincidence to BE a coincidence, if you ask me.

My guess is theres only 2 characters we've seen that have any idea about the dragon thralls before the events of Veilguard:

Solas, who we know was in contact with Corypheus before the events of Inquisition - but specifically objected to the enslaving of a living creature, and obviously not particularly fond of the declaring yourself a god thing.

..... And possibly Mythal. Fragments of fragments that saw what the other Evunaris were likely doing after her death. After all, she probably wanted to keep her eye on things and find her opportunity.

When Corypheus' image is shown, look whose under him :)c.

Those ones also get replaced:

Compared to Meredith and Orsino:

Who stay the same The equivalent circle for DAO is a dead body, so no influence from the Executors there.

Also, putting Flemeth-Mythal there is a weird choice! Shes relevant to DAI, yes, but far less relevant than Solas. Unless, of course, shes just as relevant to the Executors plans as Corypheus was.

Corypheus definitely seems an unknowing pawn of the Executors, and he got the idea of the dragon thrall from them.

It also might explain why Mythal didnt really fight Solas? She knew she had plans in motion to deal with him.

I think theres something There in all this that really DOES tie it all back to Mythal, but maybe someone else can connect it all a little better? 😅

My biggest snag is - how much does Morrigan know, and how much does she agree? Will she inform people of the Executors and try and stop them, or will she become an anatagonist?

The Poison Fruit Ripens

#defendingtheending here we go

First of all mega super ultra spoilers for the ending teaser that Steam says like… 6% ? Of players have seen? So you’ve been warned. No cuts baby, it’s Miyazaki style

Okay, so it’s the Executors, and they’re probably coming across the sea in the next game (if EA doesn’t nuke BW), from what I can gather. I mean, this is fine from a lore perspective. All we knew about those people before is that 1) they are mysterious 2) they are from over there, across the ocean

And now they’re maybe connected to the revealed Qunari lore, which I am ! So excited to have! We already knew that the Qunari fled across the ocean for unspecified reasons, and that going back there was Not A Thing. But now we know that they left because of the (probably metaphorical?) Devouring Storm, which could be connected to the Executors. What are the odds that there are two separate Huge Bad Things Over There that both want to destroy Thedas? Probably is just one big thing— also the title Executor implies they are doing the bidding of someone else, so whatever the Qunari were talking about could be it. (They also talked about being agents of someone else’s will in the Inquisition War Table quest).

So the cinematic shows a bunch of our prominent villains from the previous games being influenced in some way by the Executors. Which I think people are upset about, but I think it’s fine because:

- They did not really specify the manner of influence. I would be annoyed if they retconned Loghain’s decision to leave Cailan on the battlefield because it makes him interesting, but they didn’t say that. They just said they influenced his decisions. They could have done that by stoking his paranoia about Orlais, or by planting Arl Howe to influence him after the battle. He did a lot of OOC stuff while he was King Regent, and this could be a chance to explain what didn’t make sense for his previously established character and was just put in there to make him seem Very Evil.

- They also were around some people doing a blood magic ritual… there weren’t enough of them to be the Magisters, technically, but that is usually what it looks like when we see them in DA art so I’m going to assume that’s them for now. I mean that’s wild if that’s what it is bc that was such a long time ago? Thee guys have really been playing the long game I guess

- The other person they directly influenced seems to be Bartrand, which is really easy because who the fuck gave him that damn map? We NEVER found out who pointed Bartrand to the Thaig! Someone did it, and they probably did it on purpose! It may as well be these guys

- the rest of the villains don’t get guys whispering to them, so I have to assume they mean to imply that they just set up the circumstances that would lead to these people gaining power. I mean someone sent the Carta to the Vimmark mountains, right? And there was like some weird demon there, too.

-So basically they’re just implying that these people have been manipulating events to make sure that shit in Thedas is hitting the fan all at once, which does kind of explain the frankly improbable number of world-ending events that have happened during the Dragon Age. I mean, three Blights, two Magisters, two Evanuris, Antaam invasion, major mage rebellion, Templar schism, and the death of the Southern Divine? It’s only been like 50 years!!! Before the Dragon Age there had only been four Blights since the Ancient Age! Shit does not normally happen this fast in Thedas

I think the phrase itself is pretty direct (also giving Southern Reach vibes). All this chaos they helped sew is reaching its culmination, and now they’re getting ready to cash in the chips. They’re coming to Thedas at the moment that all the great powers are at their weakest, when there’s basically no one to oppose them. Tevinter? Fucked. Qunari? No military anymore. Antiva? Haha! lol, even. Fereldan? Basically gone. Orlais? In shambles. Free Marches? Decimated. Anderfels? There’s like 100 Wardens left in a swamp. Nevarra? I actually don’t know, maybe the lichlords can do something. Maybe Rivain could field some token resistance if they didn’t get hit by the Antaam too badly, but that’s kind of it IMO. This is THE time to come in and conquer(?) the land, or whatever they’re trying to do. Kill everybody?? Turn them into Darkspawn? Who knows!

Some speculation about what could be done to repel invasion:

- shit ton of blood magic

- fix titans, wake them up??? But idk if they’d be into it

- adaari, but idk if there are that many

- people with dragon blood, like the Theirins, are maybe super special and can do things?

- pirates, baby!!! Woooooo!

- I guess Mythal could know something? She can see the future a bit

- dragon army! Dragon army!!

[bradycore]

there are many examples of late seasons being unable to acknowledge early seasons and the one im thinking about today is how sam had multiple prophetic-vision arcs but they never referred back to the first one? like his visions and powers from azazel were integral to his character and backstory, and so of course him getting visions again in s11 and s15 seems at first glance like a continuation of that or at least a callback to it, but theres just complete detachment. when sam tells dean he thinks he's having visions in s11, instead of going "oh like how you've had visions in the past" dean says nah i dont think those are visions, and instead of going "maybe its because im psychic and always have been" sam says i think theyre from god. its like they have no memory of it. and just a season later sam acknowledges that he used to have powers and they made him who he is, so why when he actually experienced something again did he not make any verbal connections? even when there's technically narrative continuity the show doesnt treat it like continuity and it drives me up the wall

[pumpkinsy0]

It's been a rough couple weeks could I get some sweet Papercut head cannons?

of course!! hope everything gets better for u and that i could cheer u up w these!!

•pony likes curlys accent and curly knows it, sometimes he likes whispering things in kreyòl in ponys ear, and pony doesnt SWOON bc he knowwwss curlys doing something stupid and hes right, bc curly IS saying something so unromantic in his ear just trynna act like he aint

•speaking if kreyòl since where they grew up there isnt a lot of haitians, therefore nobody to translate what curlys saying to pony, for years pony just accepted that fact but as adults, pony asked curly wtf he was saying and curly just tells him!! no bullshit and some of the things were actually rlly sweet!!

•at some point, ponys realized that he doesnt have that many photos w curly, maybe like 3 from when they were younger, so when he gets his hand on a camera he makes sure to take like at least 10!! he wants to leave behind proof that they were together, no matter how it ends

•when someone has blue eyes, ponys realized that hes usually scared of them to some degree (tim, darry, angela) but w curly hes never rlly felt that way (all the time at least), hes found that so funny

•these r some touch starved FREAKS, i dont think yall understand that, for curly its more general but for pony its in a more romantical sense, but they r always touching each other (pause) like always, its more rare for them not to b

•they make so many bets w each other w the small money they have, but they just end up spending that money on the LOSER anyways, so TECHNICALLY theres no losing bets w these two but bc the other gets bragging rights THATS the real losing bit

•curly would totally b carrying pony if they played video games together, ponys shit at em, and curlys not GREAT at em typically but any time he can flex on pony and shiw off he’ll take it

•maybe this isnt 100% sweet, but im telling uuuuu curly wouldve totally been on ponys side that night, theyre both emotionally not mature so ofc they dont grasp whats rlly at hand and probably woulda got into deeper shit, but them sticking together regardless is very sweet to think about

•curly doesnt graduate from hs, not rlly a shocker, BUTTTT pony gives him the graduation ring!!! later down the line curly gets his ged w ponys help and they give him a new ring!!! curly wears both of em now, 3 if u wanna throw in a wedding ring

•ponys drawings r more serious and realistic while curlys is more cartoony and goofy, and that was also johnnys way of drawing, so in ponys sketchbook u can clearly tell who drew what especially bc ponys drawings take up the whole page and johnny/curlys r kinda just off to the side, theyre small but so silly and pony loves looking at them!!!

•when johnny died the pages pony drew on felt empty but then he got closer to curly and let him draw in the book a bit and it has that light again!! maybe not the same one, but its different and its them!!! new era if u will

[fagsex]

something to be said about how Jesse calls Walter 'Hitler' the way any offhanded young adult does when he's mad at him for being controlling and over the top cruel, and how when Jesse figured out what the Heisenberg name was, in reference to Walter, he immediately identified him as 'one of Hitler's men' and a Nazi, before anything else, and how Walter's views on people and human life is very clearly a form of eugenic, and how Walter committed murders and crimes for the sake of people he deemed deserving of love and respect, his friends, his family, primarily. but still punished them for doubting him, and everyone else's opinions and lives were moot.

and theres something to be said about how Walter slid in with an actual literal Aryan Brotherhood like it was the easiest thing in the world, and how Jesse did not care for Todd even before he murdered a child in front of him, and especially not after, even not knowing his affiliations, because his stance on human life and activity are those of his uncle, and he's blunt and honest about that, and his background with a gang of Neo Nazis gives him the head of a Neo Nazi, even if he's nicer or younger, or shows the captive humanity, he's still someone who shot an innocent mother (a Mexican woman, may i add, who lived on her own with her son, who Jesse tried to save from her environment), he's still someone who has shot many innocent people in cold blood based on suspicion, he's still someone who killed a waving child on a dirt bike, and took a trophy from his corpse. and kept it. in a cage.

something to be said about how strongly he defends Walter, how keenly he attends to his everyone command and word, how he has stars in his eyes at his every word. how both Todd and Walter use the same boy, the same child, as nothing more than a pawn to abuse to keep Jesse in place. Todd is young, Walter is a father. neither of them see this child as human. they see him as cannon fodder.

see, Jesse's human. he's like them. but he's lesser than they are. just enough. he's not human the way they are, and so it's their jobs to correct him. maybe they'll get him right. there's something about how easily Walter took a hit on Jesse, asking the Neo Nazi Nrotherhood if they would treat him like family. they immediately understand him, and assure him that they do. they're not monsters, if Jesse's family, he's family. he's human, just like them, he just needs to be taken care of. family means he needs to be shot in the back of head, with respect, quickly, and with dignity. not like everybody else, not like an animal. that's what family is, and Walter explains Jesse's like family.

when they realize Jesse has something they can offer them, they take it. they don't waste that chance. Jesse has something that makes him irreplaceable, ergo human, ergo worthy of life. a tortured existence, in a cage, kept. chained to a bunker to pump out the opiate of the masses, but it's life. he's worthy of life, he has something, so they keep him alive. Todd wants it, so they all do. that's family. they understand family. Jesse's a part of the family now, the brotherhood. Walter sees him as family. Todd respects Walter. Walter, who kills and dies with them. suicidal Walter dying alone in a bunker. he destroys those he knows can hurt him and his name and his people, and dies alone, in a bunker, by his own hand.

and they're on the same level. they're family. maybe just the way a pet is a part of the family. you'd save your dog from a housefire the same way you'd save your brother. but you know the difference between your dog and your brother. and so do they. and you know the difference between your dog and a rabid one. something to be said about it. i think.

[andreabaideas]

Agree that Its a disservice for both actors, in Djats case :

Sam is fantastic and Riley too. He was age shamed and had his acting underrated while she was reduced to a thing to desire ??? Like... he played a tortured complex alcoholic man and she played an actually *SA ed* mistreated and used by everyone tortured artist addicted woman and you Only care about... their affair/romance??? 🙄 theres so much more about them than that.

About the languages...Thanks! Both french and spanish are very pretty, but very underrated too. I love english dont get me wrong, but I feel Its making the other languages apart and ignored??

Alternatives to Chemistry or Chimie or Química In spanish and french we are using more and more Chimie or Química influenced by english / American internet, but specially in french, we have many cool alternatives :

l’attirance (attraction of souls, way stronger than common attraction)

l’attachement (getting close to someone with care)

L'allure (attraction about looks of someone, the attractivenrss but also Its about personality vo.binex with body if It makes sense?)

El atractivo ( spanish allure)

Liaison : liaison de cœur. ❤️ (Affair and attachement combined)

Alchimie/Alquimia : L'alchimie des âmes/ Alquimia de las almas (The alchemy of souls).

affinité (afinity, being close or similar to someone spiritually)

rapport (relation, more business formal but It can be used as romantic too)

enchaînement (being Chained)

Intimité ( intimate)

La physique / física or lo físico (similar to. Chemistry but Its exclusively sexual not soul or Spirit involved)

Conexión (conections)

Unión (Union)

Magnetismo Se atraen como imanes / Spanish they have magnetismo they attract each other...also It can be anti magnetismo Se repelen the magnets oppose each other??

Pasión (passion)

Identificarse con (identify with)

Estar atados or Estar encadenados al otro (be attached or tied/being Chained one another)

Être inseparable/ Ser inseparables...

Le Je ne sais quoi / El no sé qué el que se yo (The i dont know / the i dont know what ,what do i know)

Le chimerique ou chimerisme / quimérico - quimerismo ♥️. It comes from chimère a Monster from mithology. Similar to fantastic or something Epic and great. Its unexplainableconexuin or fusion of souls as if one were the same with another.

Funfact: theres a sindrome in spanish called "Quimerismo" in which one twin eats/absorbs the other twin at the womb, but keeps some organs from the non alive twin like one eye, the uterus, the sperm, maybe one lung or the legs...etc, so one person has two different Dnas in the same body. Super weird but in Spain we had one woman whose kids werent hers biologically because her uterus and eggs belonged to the Dead twin. So she was their legal Mom as she beared her babies in her uterus, and gave them birth too, but biologically she was their aunt!!!!! 😱. End of funfact.

Anyways with chemistry that feeling Its easier to explain, even if the others mean pretty much the same to that unexplainable body and soul conexion that attach other another irrremediably for better or worse.

And related to your ending comment sadly i've seen people saying Sam Claflin is better now cause he looks younger(!) and hotter (with more muscle they said) both on The count of Montecristo and also now with the new haircut and moustache (the Damn Sam insta photo he posted reconverted those Who said he looked to old back into fangirls (sigh))....and also created an horde of (teen) fangirls, which is logical but very superficial, tbh.

Lord Grant me patience for if you give me strenght...

Sam Claflin and Holliday Grainger in ‘Any Human Heart’ (2010)  

[blackberrybuds]

I don't want to call you out in the server but the stuff you post about in there is probably TMI. Nobody needs to hear about your bathroom problems it's gross. Also you projecting that onto characters like Kazutoshi and Nemoto is gross. It's something to maybe keep to yourself.

kamimura & nemoto Bathroom Issues headcanons for anon <3

kamimura

canonically has crohns so this one isnt a headcanon but teehee

he works pretty frequently and pretty far from home a lot of the time so he wears diapers because his anxiety makes having to worry about always being near a bathroom like 1000 times worse

lets be real hes a punk. he has probably shoplifted diapers more than once theyre just so damn expensive. how the hell is this guy gonna pay rent while paying like twenty-five bucks for a pack of diapers he'll go through in like a week

hasegawa keeps really good track of what he can and cant eat and looks over the menu at like every restaurant they go to in advance to make sure theres something kamimura can have that wont make him flare up

when kamimura is stuck in the bathroom for like hours at a time hasegawa will stay with him and hold his hand and keep him company

hasegawa gets super annoyed and confrontational whenever a business doesnt have accessible washrooms and its the only time kamimura ever sees him get worked up and start complaining to managers

wears diapers in the killing game which is the only reason he was able to manage being completely cut off from the bathrooms at night in chapter one

eventually ended up getting a stoma bag, was super nervous at first but it ended up being way less stressful and now he decks it out in cool stoma bag covers

wears so many layers because he's still shy about the bag and doesnt want anyone noticing it

genki

woah this one is canon too? hes canonically incontinent? crazy!!

started needing diapers around the middle of the crispr experiments after his digestive tract stopped working properly

dannake handles all his changes and is super super super careful with them because of how fragile is skin is, she's always very on-top of when he needs a change and keeps them on a very cohesive schedule

suga isn't allowed to change genki because genki asked him not to (canon) but he'll still do things like run out to the store to get things for dannake or make sure nobody bothers dannake and genki while she's changing him

genki is really bad at reading his own body signals now and will usually just get really worked up and upset when he needs a change without being able to properly articulate why, dannake and suga have both gotten super good at reading those signs though

genki was still semi-lucid when he started needing diapers and was really upset and embarrassed about it, dannake tried to normalize it for him by just talking about it super casually whenever it came up (because shes a very blunt person as we know) and it honestly sort of helped

also theyre both my best friends and we talk about diapers together all the time sorry anon we're all disabled and best friends and we hate u

[sympathytea]

Theres a specific moment i think about alot, the scene at the very end of episode 1 of pvp civilization.

In the scene, Evbo is doing something mundane, shopping. And then something startles him. His sword breaks. Then he stops talking entirely until he dies from the sword in his hand breaking. To most, this is probably just an average "Perfectly cut death" type of transition, something to lead into the next episode and to get people hooked more onto the series, this was also done in Parkour Civ, but less naturally executed in that series (in my honest opinion) I think he also does this when he first gets his ass kicked by Ferre in the gold sword layer at the end of episode 4, but i'm not sure about that one. Some folks subscribe to the idea that Evbo monologues when he is scared of a situation, which isn't a bad idea since the guy loves to talk, all the time. However, I want to propose the opposite idea: Evbo goes nonverbal when scared. Personally, I think its more interesting and makes his character more dynamic if you imagine him refusing or straight up unable to speak whatsoever when he is in a state of fear, be it a trigger from previous trauma or a panic attack. Or something else entirely. Maybe as a bonus, he monologues about things happening around him to distract his own thoughts. Thoughts that he would rather keep well hidden from others. And more importantly, from himself.

Idk, just an idea.

[slashingdisneypasta]

I crave knowledge!!

-about fairies and fae creatures, which could be useless but, knowledge all the same.

I want to live in Arthur Spiderwicks house.

[bawmbo]

hi, thank you. youve opened a can of worms that cannot be closed

killer is such an interesting character to me. i realized that im not actually too sure where to start but ill start with his timeline;

the idea of a character whose home was slowly destroyed for reasons outside of their control and beyond what they couldve ever thought was real is an incredibly interesting concept to me. i also love psychological horror and reality breaking type of things in relation to it.

to be transformed into something outside of the bounds of definition, and live with the consequences of that, of your loss of autonomy is terrifying. to be named under that total loss is horrifying. to know that everybody will only know your name and never what you went through to get there, that no one would even really care. not that you could get yourself to. theres so much potential with the idea of someone who wants to drain your world of everything for entertainment, and they can forcefully recode it, and they do not care about you because you are just a game character to them. and you are the only one aware of this. and when youre taken out of the timeline by a strange man who can also forcefully shift your control of your situation, everyone will only know you as just as bad as him. as a murderer with no reason. and every time you look at this man (nightmare) all you can feel is the same hatred you feel for yourself. you cant help but feel like youre the same. but this isnt about nightmare as much as i really do love him and writing his character (also super passionate about him)

i have a lot of problems in general with his fandom portrayal and the fact that we either see him as portrayed as either incredibly childish, dumb, very sexualized, etc. and its okay to want to write him how you want to write him, have fun, just not our cup of tea

to us, hes incredibly agile, quiet. hes eerie and incredibly smart and much more aware of whats going on than he lets on. he has lost all respect for anyone who claims theyre more powerful than him, and the way he taunts is by bringing them back to his level (or just doing things he knows pisses them off but not enough to get him killed for it. massive staring problem and wont elaborate on it). and while he can be flirty, where i understand the sexualization comes from.

i think i just crave more in depth characterization from him. how terrifying he is during battles, how he knows the knives he fights with better than the air he breathes and the placement of his feet just as much. how he could be using his magic but its difficult to fight him even without it. the absence of what he could be doing and the presence of how difficult what he is doing showing through. his disconnection from the world around him and how hard it is to realize that everything around you is just codes. that everything is malleable in the wrong hands and everyone lives their lives blissfully unaware of how quickly things can change. and how he could be deeply angry by this but never actually feel it well in his chest like he sees with others. he isnt indifferent, and at some point, somewhere he might express that care. but he cant. and this is it. and he doesnt know how to move on from that.

maybe when he gets close to people his relationships end up showing slow signs of trust. when he does trust people is he surprised if they leave? how scared is he to depend on anyone when no one was ever there to? maybe one day he finally learns to sleep with his chest or back exposed and around people. and his version of hanging out is going "hey i know a spot" and its a 50 minute walk through a closed off forest but its beautiful. and youll probably get some diseases, just gotta hope you dont. the next place is probably a feral cat colony hiding in the sewers hes been feeding and slowly gaining the trust of. hes weird.

in general i really do love complex characters and think about them a lot. and i love seeing how complex characters can be written. i love exploring the possibilities with him and i find that when we either write him or collab stories where we write characters interacting with him, we have a lot of fun and end up thinking about him a lot.

my friend @nullandvalid is a big killer enthusiast too and if you send him an ask you could probably get a big rant too. (also @thaltro. both him and null write killer super well imo. been incredibly fun to listen to them talk about how they write him and engage in writing stories with them) thank you for giving me time to yap about it, ill probably be thinking of more in the meantime but this is all i have atm fhahaha

another one for fun, pretty experimental. this one was one of those "draw regardless of whether or not you think it looks good" things. swore to myself the next utmv character i drew and posted was gonna be fell but here we are. gonna try to get used to posting things that i dont consider my best work. hi killer love you dude

[despazito]

I'll be honest it's gotten harder for me to definitely rank movies as I've gotten older like whenever I sit down to rank things now I'm just thinking about this tweet

[stefisdoingthings]

wings

[till-alnst]

wanna bring parents into this? okay, let’s do it then.

at least my mother was watching me. at least i have a mother. a mother that cared for me like a child rather than a pet, she didnt see me as a toy to be used and played with, she saw me as an actual person.

the same cant be said for you now, can it? all the guardians in your life see you as a mere trophy, a toy to be used and shown off until it loses its charm. when you die, no one will mourn you. the aliens will be focused on the new winner of alien stage, your guardian will be looking for the next pet human to raise, there will be no one to mourn your death in the way that my mother mourns mine.

when the world felt like it was caving in, i always knew that deep down that there would be at least one person who loves me, no matter what. i knew that my mom would always love me, even if she wasnt with me for a majority of my life.

the love she gave me is something i cherished right until my final breath. honestly it makes me pity you, the idea that you have no one in your life who will love you and hold you in their heart truly like a mother does. maybe if you did, you wouldve turned out different. maybe you wouldve actually made meaning of your life instead of following instructions given to you.

maybe you wouldve thought twice about entering the show again.

my mother cared and loved me so much that she didnt want me to sing because she knew id end up on the show, but my voice was so beautiful that she couldnt help but indulge me and sing alongside me. she made me find my love for singing and music. theres a difference between us, luka. i genuinely love music and i love to sing. its something i enjoy, and i discovered that because of my mother.

you on the other hand were taught to sing because you were created to win alien stage. maybe if you had loving parents, you would realize the impact music has- or the impact it could have. your music is soulless, made purposefully for entertainment. the aliens went wild over ivans song because of the emotion he put behind it, emotions that he felt, experienced, and lived through.

you havent felt anything like that. youre only a puppet, a husk. nothing more.

at the end of the day, i know that at least one person cared about my death, seeing it as the death of a real person instead of a mere pet. my mom saw my death as a person losing their life for the sick and twisted entertainment of aliens.

i have that unwavering love and care from my mother, you dont. you dont have anyone to care about you in that way.

no one cares about you enough to see you as more than a mere pet.

my hands are fucking freezing. what the hell is going on.