#maybe someday I'll draw the second part... someday

[karlyuchka]

I have OCs, actually... and I have like an entire plot in my head... but I'm not gonna write anything... but I swear it's cool...

(there was supposed to be a second picture which explains his distress (he's looking in a mirror), but I lost my motivation. Also there was supposed to be a normal background)

My first drawing of him. He used to be much more cartoony... What happened to bro...

[serene-sky-kid]

Just random thoughts about capes, expect a lot of text without images

This is just a long post talking about HC from my skykids universe, because my arm decided it doesn't want to draw today. Don't take it literally because it's just random things that come to mind.

Today's topic will be Wings! Specifically the Capes.

I've been having trouble for a while now deciding whether to use the concept of wings being a separate part of the skykid's anatomy or a part of them that can't be removed. A cape that can be removed has many more benefits in terms of artistic comfort, but a part of me feels much more attracted to capes being a part of the body that you can't just take off and replace with another one.

So I'll focus more on the concept of the cape being part of the skykid's body and some random nonsensical thoughts that have been coming to my head lately. The first problems with a cape that can't be removed is that first it's hard to change the design and second that they feel extremely uncomfortable to use on a daily basis in some ways.

So something that came to my mind is that both the wings and the hair of the skykid are connected to its light, it's obvious but, I think that since they are part of the light, depending on the skykid there is some control over these things. I think that the hair needs to be manually cut like a normal hair to be styled but its appearance and color speak a lot about the health of the skykid's internal light. While the cape is an extension of the skykid's body, whose point of union with the body is under the neck right at the first star or maybe a little higher. Its connection is so deep with the internal light of the skykid that as the skykid matures it has greater control over it, not only in the sense of flight but also in how its appearance changes.

Moths when they are born have the typical brown cape that we all know and love, it is a symbol of innocence and childhood among skykids and if you allow me to go into this further, I have imagined it to be something very close to the transition of bird chicks that change feathers when they become adults. I can imagine a moth with its cape transitioning from a brown color to a black or white color or the typical red cape, it still has the same shape but the color is the transition step between a newly born moth and a butterfly. I had imagined this simply because of the feathery appearance that the cape has as it loses light due to things like water, in my mind the cape has very small feathers, but that doesn't make much sense does it?

Back to the subject, I think that most skykids can hide their cape, something similar to what happens when you are inside the trials, to make it more visual. Clearly a skykid can glide with their cape off but they don't have much control, it's something that is only used for utilitarian purposes where the cape gets in the way.

However, the stylization of a cape is harder for me to think about, I REALLY like the idea that although there are skykids that can change the color and shape of their cape it's not that… common. So they need help from people like the Dreams Guide or their apprentices to stylize their capes, they specialize in light work and can make incredible designs, but I've never thought about any of this very deeply.

From this whole concept I think that Orion can change the shape of his cape and that this ability varies in talent depending on each skykid. Most people can just turn it off, it's the easiest, then there are those who can only change its size and shape, but it never stops being the cape it is, as is the case of Orion, others can change their cape to a totally different one if they want… and the most talented can do that, in the middle of the flight…

But, it's not canon at all, it's a bunch of concepts that look great in my head but it has a lot of plot holes. Someday I'll talk about basic things about light, it's not something I'll talk about at the level of mufo, but some basic things about the uses they have in the universe of my skykids.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my tedtalk and I love you very much if you read this far.

[velvetydream]

꒰ :🥀 [ The harsh daily life - Welcome to Aurora ] ”♡ᵎ꒱ˀˀ ↷ ⋯

Part 4 - The harsh daily life

Summary : Finally having found the perfect job for you on the ship, a new mistery arose. The name of a mysterious woman slipping past the sleeping captains lips.

Pairing : Pirate! Hongjoong x Fem! Reader

Word count : 1883 Words

Genre : Genre : Fluff, Romance, Slow Burn

Warnings ➵ None??

a/n : Still so sorry for not posting this last week! Just been rly caught of with my exam this week and also just overall being stressed by school! I'll tr to write next 2 or 3 chapters this weekend tho so I got a lil puffer for the next weeks!♡

《 Masterlist 》

┌───────────────────────── ·  ·  ·  · ♡

Your day wasn't over after the quick meal you had with Wooyoung and Seonghwa. Right now you were sitting in the crows nest with Wooyoung, him explaining his job to you, you were quit glad that you were with Wooyoung right now and didn't had to train with Jongho again.

"I'm glad that you decided to tag along with us, it's gonna be a lot of fun." You were just as glad as Wooyoung, was he the one you should be the most thankful to, he was the one to help you stay on this ship, with this crew.

"What did you want to tell me while we were eating? About the captain?" Curiosity getting the better of you like always, now looking at Wooyoung who shifts a bit uncomfortably by your question. "I can't tell you, Seonghwa was right, it's Hongjoongs secret, either he tells you himself or you won't know, I'm sorry." His answer made you pout slightly but you could also understand, you probably wouldn't want your secrets spilled out to everyone either. "It's okay, maybe I will know someday." Looking out of the crows nest again, you look to the horizon where the sea meets the sky. It's still not late, maybe the middle of the day, the sun was standing high above the two of you, making it quit hot up in the crows nest.

"Hey Wooyoung! Mind giving away the princess for a bit?" Mingis voice was heard suddenly, looking up at the two of you with a smile on his face. "Sure! See you later." Wooyoung tells you, as you make your way town carefully, Mingi still staying at the bottom of the net, in case you needed help or need to be caught im case you slipped. "Thank you for agreeing to helping me, I really need the help. You can read right?" Mingi asks, following him into the captains cabin, Hongjoong not in sight. With a yes to his question, Mingi gets out a box from a cabinet and pulls up a second chair. "I'm in charge of keeping the maps organised and also having a protocol of the kingdoms and islands we visited by now." Mingi explains, sitting down on Hongjoongs chair, he probably did this in his room, as it had the biggest desk and also wouldn't have any disturbances. "You can sort the maps alphabetical for now." Mingi explains, getting out a pencil to start drawing on the map, probably adding islands they recently discovered.

Now sorting the maps, you sometimes look at the few books on the desk, on each one of them was written the word 'Ateez' and Aurora, looking up at Mingi now you speak up again, : "On the books, the word Ateez, what is that?" Immediately after finishing your sentence Mingi let's out a chuckle, laying down his pencil. "You are currently on the ship Aurora with the crew Ateez, Ateez is our Crew name." Mingi explains to you, before going back to sketching the map.

After a while the door opens and closes, in walks the captain, taking of his coat and hat and laying down on his bed, eyeing the two of you.

"Is she good help Mingi?" The captain speaks up now, closing his eyes, your eyes stay fixated on the maps you were sorting though. "Definitely, it was getting a bit to much for myself, so I'm glad for her help." He praises you, making a smile appear on your face. "I see, well don't be to loud please, I want to take a nap." Putting his hat over his face now, the captain trys to fall asleep, while you and Mingi go on with your work.

After probably two hours you and Mingi finished, standing up and leaving the room carefully so you won't wake up the captain.

"You seem to get along with everyone quit fine, it's nice to see that you're getting used to being on here." Mingi talks while walking around the deck with you, nodding when someone greets the both of you. "Everyone is quit nice, so it's really easy to adapt to the crew and get used to them." A nod was seen from Mingi as you two continue your little stroll along the ship. "Just wishing everyone would start to call me by my name, Y/N, and not princess, I'm not a princess anymore." Explaining this to Mingi, he send a sympathetic glance towards you. "You just have to tell us and we will gladly call you that Y/N." A relieved sigh leaves your lips, hoping that all of them would call you that soon.

"But you can't expect all of us to call you that, you're the princess of our crew now, isn't that right Wooyoung?" San smirks, while approaching you and Mingi, Wooyoung following and speaking up now, : "You're right, she'll stay the princess of this ship." Rolling your eyes slightly, you still couldn't suppress a laugh. "That's okay then, as long as you two still know my name." Now it was the turn of the two man to laugh, telling you they would never forget your name ever.

After talking with the three man a while, Seonghwa soon approaches you with two plates in his hands, by now the sun was starting to go down, painting the sky and sea in a beautiful orange and pink sky.

"You should eat enough, tomorrow the training will continue." Handing you the plate, Seonghwa sits down on the railing, followed by you.

"San told me about a few of the memebers, how long have the others been here?" Seonghwa looks your way now, laying his fork down on his plate. "Me and Hongjoong started this, a small boat, we ran away from our homes and never returned. Yunho joined us shortly after that, a few other man joining too, the ship always getting bigger to have more place. Yeosang and Wooyoung joined us together, we found them stranded on an island, no one knowing where they're from or who their family is. San is a runaway, like me and Hongjoong, that's why we took him in, we saw ourselves in him. Mingi joined shortly after him, his father was a knight, but he didn't want to live that life, so he joined us. Jongho has been here the shortest, he sneaked onto our ship one night and the next after we sat sail we found him, Hongjoong was mad I tell you, but after noticing his abilitys he made him part of the main crew quickly." Glancing at you a few times, you take the information in. It was quit a lot of information to take in.

"It's a lot of information I know, but everyone on this ship has their own story, past and secrets." At the word secrets you had to think back to Hongjoong, what secret did Wooyoung want to tell you.

"Eat up, the captain want's to have a little talk with you." Bidding his goodbye, Seonghwa takes his now empty plate and walks away, probably to bring it into the kitchen.

You finished quickly, bringing your plate away and making your way to the captains cabin, knocking once and then twice. It was quiet. So you slowly opened the door, walking in and closing the door again.

Hongjoong was layed on his bed, his hat still over his face, his right leg over the other one. Walking closer, you ask yourself if the captain was sleeping or awake and already noticed you.

Reaching out a hand hesitatingly, you take of the hat and to your surprise, was the captain still asleep. His eyes closes, just now did you notice his long lashes, his face for once looked soft and relaxed, much different to the either scowling or smirking face. Placing the hat on his desk, you walk over to him again reaching out again to wake him up, but stopping midway, as a word or more like, a name slips past his lips.

Jiwon

Confused you now place your hand on the captains shoulder, shaking him awake slightly. Said man opens his eyes and looks up at you, as he sits up with a groan and stretches his arms out.

"Seonghwa said you wanted to talk to me." You explain why you were disturbing the captains sleep, the female name however still on your mind. "Ah yes, I wanted to see how you're holding up, Mingi praised you a lot today and even Yunho was pleased with how fast you are learning." His voice sounded rough from sleep, as he now sits at the edge of his bed and starts putting on his boots again. "Ah I'm just glad and happy that I can be of help on this ship." Hongjoong glances your way shortly, before continuing to tie his boots. "You will be helping Mingi from now on, study our books and read some others too, you're one of the few people that can read, we need every help that we can get with the books." He now stands up, stretching again. You just agree and are now send out again, still wanting to know who that name belonged to and the best person to ask was Wooyoung.

Making your way over to the quarter deck where Wooyoung was leaning on the railing, talking to San.

"Wooyoung! Can I talk to you for a moment?" He send you a nod, guiding you further to the back of the quarter deck, asking you what you wanted to talk about.

"I have a question about the ship, did you ever have a woman called Jiwon on board?" As soon as Wooyoung heard that name, he went pale, looking around. "Where did you hear that name? No one is even allowed to mention that name!" Speaking in a hushed tone now, Wooyoung looks at you with furrowed brows and a serious look on his face. "Hongjoong was talking in his sleep when I wanted to wake him up." A slightly scared look on your face now, caused by his reaction. "Okay, you're not allowed to speak to anyone about that name do you understand me? No one. Tell no one that you heard that name, especially not the captain, got that?" Wooyoung makes sure to make you promise you this, which you did.

Of course his reaction to that name made the question mark in your head just grow bigger.

Who was that woman? Was she a crew member? Was the captain close to her? Where was she now?

Walking away from a visibly disturbed Wooyoung, you make your way to your room, a lot of the people already under the deck sleeping. Upon arriving in the room, you start to change into the dress shirt from Seonghwa again and lay down on the bed, facing the ceiling again, which was painted a night blue and had lots of stars painted on there.

This crew may be your new family, but you still didn't get a lot of their doings or opinions.

The most questionable one was definitely Hongjoong, followed by Jongho, even Wooyoung seemed weird after the last talk you had with him not long ago. Maybe you should just ignore and forget it for now, sooner or later you'll probably hear and understand their motives.

[barblaz-arts]

Hello!! I'm a big fan of your artwork and you make just amazing ocs for Fandoms that exist and I wanted to know do you plan to make your original story and characters there. I would love to see it. I think you could make something that would go really popular!! (I don't know did anyone ask this before I couldn't find it😭) and also as a person I really get interested about artists real life so do you share anywhere it?

Thank you! I do in fact have some original stories and characters. I've never posted art of them online because I made them before I had social media when I was a teenager. Back then I'd always draw my original comics on sketchbooks that my classmates would pass around. I might revisit those stories and characters again someday, and now as an adult i for sure wanna make some adjustments. If ever I share those stories again I hope you guys like em too

I do have plans to maybe make something out of some recent-ish original characters I made. They were from a fanfic I posted sometime ago about my idea of a spin-off story for Cassandra from Tangled, but I might make it a story of their own without Cassandra. Since I restricted my AO3, I'll share their backstory under the cut

Summary from AO3:

To pay for a debt that Cassandra owed to Princess Liana of Verdania, she's tasked to find the princess's estranged sister born from the king's affair with a handmaiden. As Cassandra's journey lets her uncover the royal family's secrets, she comes to realize how closely these people's tales parallel her own

The cart rattles and bounces as the terrain becomes more and more uneven. They must not be in the capital city anymore. The little stowaway continues to watch in awe from the back of the cart, blue eyes taking in every thing they could from the flap's opening. All the fields and trees in this part of the kingdom... What a shame that she had to sneak out to finally see how beautiful her home is.

When the horses stop, the little girl jerks forward and almost falls out of the cart.

"Please wait here."

The girl's heart stops when she hears her mother's voice. For second, she thought she'd been caught. But her mother was only talking to Alan, the young guard she convinced to take her here.

She watches her mother get off the cart. To the little girl, it's so marvelously strange to see the usally regal woman clad in what commoners would usually wear. Her mother heads to the little house the cart parked in front of. She merely stands there at first, looking so uncharastically unsure of herself.

Eventually, her mother knocks. Someone opens the door, a woman with dark skin and thick curly hair tied back revealing herself.

This must be "Lucille", thinks the stowaway.

She can't hear them from where she's hiding, but it seems her mother is saying something. Lucille stares, shocked. Soon, her mother is let inside the house. The girl pouts at this development. She can't see what's happening if they're inside.

Luckily, the girl didn't have to wait long for something interesting to happen. The door swings open again. This time a girl slightly older than the stowaway comes out. She's a near splitting image of Lucille. The beat of her heart quickens.

It's her! It's her! she thinks.

She could barely contain her excitement as she jumps out of the stuffy cart. The older girl is skipping ahead of her and the stowaway watches in awe as she follows. She's humming a happy tune, her voice beautiful and light with innocent joy. She must live a happy life in that small but cozy-looking house.

Lucille's daughter arrives at a grassy field, descending down the inclined plain with a trail of gleeful giggles. The stowaway lets herself watch for another moment before following after her. But something like a rock catches the tip of her shoe, and the stowaway comes stumbling down the hill into a bruised - and humiliated - heap.

She pulls her face off the grass before it reddens when she sees that the older girl noticed and likely saw her fall.

"Are you okay?" Lucille's daughter says once she's crouched in front of her.

Now that she's so much closer, she can see her face. She can see that despite being oppsites in most of their physical appearance, they have something in common. Blue eyes, dark blue like the night sky. She feels a grin stretch her lips.

"Oh, well." Lucille's daughter giggles and picks out grass from her red hair. "If you can smile like that, then I guess you're okay." She holds out a hand. "I'm Stella. What's your name?"

"I'm Liana." She forgoes taking Stella's hand in favor of wrapping her arms arouns her neck. Breathlessly, she says, "I'm your sister." She laughs in sheer delight. There may be tears prickling her eyes. "I'm so happy. I finally met you!"

"Whoa. Wait a second. Sister?" Liana's smile melts away when Stella pulls herself out of the embrace. She looks confused, taking in Liana's pale skin and red hair. "Missy, we look nothing alike."

"We have the same father," Liana explains. With Stella's cautiousness, Liana's excitement has gone away, all that's left now is insecurity. "I overheard Mother arguing with Father the other week. She was really mad, so I couldn't help listening in. She got angry at Father because she found out he has a daughter with a woman named Lucille."

Stella's eyes widen as she takes all this information in. "Is your mother the woman in our house right now? Queen Eloise?"

Liana nods, eyes down at her folded lap. Stella doesn't look as happy at the discovery of having a sister. Now there really are tears in Liana's eyes. She stands, too humiliated to bother brushing off the grass and dirt that have clung to her dress.

"I'm sorry," Liana says, already turning to leave. "I'm not even supposed to be here. I'm going to --"

"Hey, wait," Stella softly calls after her.

A hand takes hold of Liana's wrist, and she lets herself get turned back to Stella. The older girl sympathetically looks at Liana's downtrodden face before gently wiping away the tear tracks on her cheeks.

Then, without warning, Stella pulls a face, eyes and nose scrunched up and tongue poking out of her mouth. Liana is so surprised that she gasps out her laughter.

"What are you doing?" Liana asks in between giggles.

Stella relaxes her face to a more natural grin. "Just wanted to make you smile, is all. What kind of sister would I be if I made you cry?"

Happiness blooms in Liana's chest. Before she knows it, fresh tears are leaking out of her eyes.

"Oh no, what's wrong?" Stella panics.

Liana shakes her head as she continues to sob. "I'm just really happy."

At this answer, Stella is back to her giggly self. "Aww..." she coos, continuing to rub at Liana's cheeks. "You're a bit of a crybaby, aren't you? Come here."

Stella takes Liana's hand in hers and pulls her to where the flowers are abundant.

"I was going to make a flower crown for the queen," Stella starts to say. "She looked really sad, you see..." Something somber flashes in Stella's eyes. "... but I guess I understand why now. Mama wanted me to play outside so she could talk to her alone, so I thought this could cheer her up a little bit." She takes a daisy off its stem to tuck it behind Liana's ear. "But it looks like you could use it, too. You want to make one with me?"

"I don't know how," Liana sheepishly admits.

"Not a problem! I'll teach you."

But Stella doesn't get to teach her. Lucille had come looking for her daughter, and she brought Queen Eloise with her.

"Liana! What are you doing here?" Eloise pulls Liana to her feet, away from the flowers and away from Stella.

"I wanted to see my sister," Liana says, already desperate to run back to Stella.

Eloise blinks. She takes deep breaths, fingers tightening the slightest bit around her daughter's wrist. When she's calmed down, she gives Lucille and Stella a meaningful look before telling Liana, "You'll have to say goodbye now. We're going home."

But their castle isn't a home. In the castle, her father doesn't like playing with her. Her mother is often so sad, Liana doesn't feel like she's there. But here, there are tall trees and fields of flowers and Stella ready to wipe away her tears.

Liana pries her wrist out of Eloise's grip and begs, "I don't want to leave."

Someone stands between them, and Liana stares at her sister's back. "Please stay a little longer," Stella pleads. "I want to talk to her more."

For one second, Eloise looks like she might give in. But Lucille finally speaks up.

"No, sweetie," Lucille says and pulls her daughter to her side. "They can't stay any longer. The king might look for them. And he can't..." Lucille trails off without finishing what she was about to say. She looks at Eloise. "Please, go."

For reasons that Liana can't yet understand, Eloise looks pained. She takes Liana's wrist again and hastily pulls her daughter to their cart.

"Princess Liana?" Alan says, bewildered. "Why are you here?"

"That's not important right now," Eloise says, voice tight. "Take us back to the castle. Quickly."

"Of course. As you wish, your highness."

This time, Eloise doesn't sit with Alan at the reins. She gets inside the cart with her daughter. Liana prepares herself for another lecture, but her ears pick up on someone else's voice.

"Liana! Hey! Sister!"

Liana scrambles to the back of the cart and lifts open the flap before Eloise could protest. Stella is running after them, panting and shouting her words at them as best she could.

"For the record! I'm really happy too! I'm happy to know! That I have such an adorable sister!"

Like Liana at the hill, something makes Stella trip and fall to the ground. Liana gasps, worried, but Stella pulls her face out of the dirt with a huge grin. Liana laughs despite herself, despite her tears.

She watches until Stella and Lucille are so far away that she can no longer see their faces. The tinier they become, the tighter Liana's chest becomes. She turns back to Eloise, surprised to see her mother look as sad as she feels.

"Mother?"

Eloise only wipes at the wetness in her eyes. Liana takes the flower in her ear, crawls back to Eloise, and tucks the flower into her mother's ear.

"Stella was going to teach me how to make a flower crown," Liana says. "She thought giving you one might cheer you up, because you looked really sad. But this is all I have right now."

Eloise's face softens. She takes her daughter into her arms and Liana buries her face in her mother's chest.

"I suppose..." Eloise says, "... we might have to go back so you can learn how to make one."

....

And that's it! I had their story all laid out. Liana and Stella are separated at some point in their teens. Liana eventually is required to be married off to another king, so she tries to get Stella to see her again before she's whisked away to another kingdom. On Stella's journey on her way back to her sister, she's supposed to discover that her mother's "affair" isn't what it seemed, and the two sisters help rekindle an old bond that their mothers had.

I'd like to have this drawn out. At least some of the key points and my favorite scenes. Or even just to show how they look like.

And yes, I know. If you've seen my Next Gen Nevermore stuff, you may notice that I used the name Eloise again. That was honestly a coincidence. Queen Eloise was the one I made first. Eloise Johnson was a name my brother chose because I was too lazy to think of one. I realized too late that I'd used the name twice 💀

[radianceholy]

Owlcatober 2024 - Second Chances

"I miss you very much, Arueshalae. I'm sad we won't be able to play together anymore! I really, really loved you Arueshalae, really! I'll always wait for you."

Centuries after the end of the Fifth Crusade, Ember meets her childhood friend.

i have an agenda here and it's that i don't think corrupted arueshalae is fundamentally any different from normal arueshalae, and i really love the idea that even after diving off the deep end, she can't really escape herself. i got way too into this one and i hope that people enjoy it!!!

cw: gore, violence, eye trauma, threats and implications of sexual violence, choking, burning flesh

"It's her again, isn't it?" The child stared up at her, lip twitching in a way that betrayed a great deal more fear than she knew how to properly express. Caught between two terrible possibilities, and looking to the one adult left in her left in her life that would give her the time of day, as though she could make sense of her fears. 

"...It is. That's precisely why you must wait." 

She shook her head, defiant. She wasn't very old, even by human standards. Maybe ten, or at most, twelve. She was an orphan child that had latched onto Ember in one of her travels, and had been trailing behind her with open fascination for the better part of a year, viewing her with the kind of open fascination that comes from a mixture of desperation and unpunished optimism. She had a certain brightness about her that betrayed her gentler years, much as Ember did. The girl’s parents had been comfortably wealthy before their disappearance, and they surely loved her to bits. She remained certain that someday they'd return to draw her back into a life of comfort. Ember had never been so naive, even in her childhood years. Her father was not 'gone,' he was dead.

The years had shown Ember the limits of human kindness. Her disfigurement was considered holy, to some; on the rare occasions when she met those who called themselves the Redeemed, generations removed from those that followed her so long ago. Wrapped in a threadbare cloak doing too little to shelter her frail figure, the world had extracted its price for her mercies. Her missing fingers, her blind eye, the arm that had been severed at the elbow… according to them, it was all proof of her goodness. Proof of a virtuous martyr, it was said. She would smile, denying them in the gentlest of terms.

"I can't! She's going to hurt you!" 

Age changed a lot about her, she supposed, but she was still mortal, caught in the whorl of her own personal history. Perhaps it was gratifying, to see this girl so young as to think this kind of cruelty was truly abnormal. She'd learned the lesson long ago, and whenever she'd doubt that lesson, she'd suffer the consequences.

Sometimes, the guilty must be punished.

"She is. She made a promise to me that she would. She'll want to hurt you, too, just for being near me." 

"I can't… I don't wanna stay here alone," she sniffled. "You won't come back. Just like mother and father…"

Ember sighed softly, brushing the girl's tears away with her thumb. "I was a child, and I let myself go to war. I never knew how much I was hurting myself."

"But, big sister…" 

"Please," she urged, quietly. "You're just a little girl. You don't have to hurt yourself." The world won't get any kinder, no matter what you sacrifice. She smiled sadly, those last words left unsaid. 

The girl grabbed her hand, clutching it all the tighter. Ember's fingers were already growing numb, and her frail body didn't have much strength to resist. She had a great power at her disposal, certainly, but none she would bring to bear against a child. She had spent her many years wandering the world, struggling to balance gentle guidance and harsh discipline. She was no closer to knowing, even hundreds of years after she left the Redeemed behind. She didn't quite know how to say it to this girl, but there were no answers she could give that would heal her heart and cure her of her fear and grief.

She sighed weakly, bowing her head.

"... There's one thing that you can do for me. But you have to follow my instructions exactly."

The girl nodded, tears in her eyes. 

"...Exactly what I say," she emphasized. "And if I cry out, you can't run to me. Remember that, no matter what."

-

Temples dedicated to Desna were always beautiful, each in their own ways. Grand skylights, beautiful painted murals, intricate architecture. ‘Opulent’ was never the right word, even if Ember had seen some reach rather grand heights. It was… inspiring, perhaps. She’d certainly witnessed a great many taking comfort in the temple. Mortal artists and architects poured their efforts into capturing a kind of beauty older than Golarion itself, and all mortal life upon its soil. In the heavens, there are stars. On the earth, there are flowers. In mortal hearts, there is love. 

This temple, too, was beautiful. An eye like Ember's could see it, no matter how it appeared to the world. Viscera strewn about, draped over the temple's pillars. Blood was splattered and smeared all over the walls and windows, and the stars outside twinkled through a crimson mirror. Two bodies lay together, gutted, their hearts torn from their chests even as their figures entwined in beautiful repose Red, red, red. She could feel the blood sticking to her bare feet, spilling out from bodies that were carved and sliced open with an artisan’s touch. Soot perched on her shoulder, wings tucked close against her sides. Some were still twitching, letting out gurgling, pathetic noises, in the throes of a succubus' kiss. All were beyond saving. 

"You're late," a sweet voice chided her, lounging at the foot of a statue of Desna in flight. It, too, was soaked in blood; intestines wrapped around her neck like a beautiful wreath. Strings of severed hands clung to her form. Grasping at her for grace, perhaps.

"You like it, don't you?" Arueshalae crowed, lounging on her throne of corpses so brutalized they could scarcely be recognized as human. The clergy had been stripped naked, faces torn off of their heads. The hollow stare of bloody, eyeless sockets gazed pleadingly towards Ember, like so many desperate followers seeking to abandon the demon lords that abused them. There was scarcely a speck of blood on Arueshalae's skin. Not so much as a drop, really. "My work. Payment to the Goddess for her kindness towards me. Her mercy." She sighed, seeming happy with herself. Happiness was a performance, and satisfaction was another piercing thrust. If it wasn't, it might be silent here for a moment too long. “If you’d come a few hours sooner, you could have saved some of them," she said, voice dripping with honey. "If you’d been here yesterday, they’d all be going about their lives quite happily. But you came much too late. How very sad, isn't it?”

"You always come to places like this." Ember's voice carried the slightest tremor. There were some people, she knew, that she couldn't help.

"And why shouldn't I?" She laughed. "She taught me so many wonderful things about mortals! Have you come to forgive me yet again?" She sits up, leering at her. "Their deaths are on your head, you know. Every last one."

"You did this," she said, failing to keep her voice even. "To them, and to you. Who are you really punishing?" Her anger was a sickening aberration, as twisted and malignant as the guilt that she felt.

“It’s you, of course!” She laughed. "So desperate! So utterly sincere! Laying your heart bare, where anyone could pierce it. Do you remember how gentle it was, when you held me in your arms? I would have drunk every last drop of you if I could have,” she purred. Her voice shifted, as suddenly as flipping a switch. She gasped and choked, tears in her eyes, wings folded in against her sides, eyes wide, demure, and trembling. “O-oh, Ember… Ember, please believe me. I'm so sorry-! I’ve done so many terrible things, and there’s no one else I can turn to! You have to trust me…!" 

Her one good hand touched the scar over her right eye, without thinking. Discipline. She had been taught discipline... but she wanted to believe, too. Arueshalae laughed uproariously, flashing a wicked grin. 

"You're so weak! So easy to manipulate. No matter how often you deny me, you always twist yourself into such convenient knots. It's pathetic, you know. It–" She suddenly froze. Ember's heart tightened, and for a moment, she didn't dare breathe. "--Wait. What is that? That sound. Is that…?"

Ember’s eyes blazed, as Flames danced at the tips of her fingers. Her anger was malignant, a twisted and hateful thing. She despised herself for being less than the savior the redeemed wished of her. But she had to admit, even if only to herself.

It was a mighty weapon.

Her cloak blew back, as Soot took to the air, a great pillar of flame tearing through the temple. The force of the explosion burned Arueshalae's gruesome throne to ash, Desna herself blackened and purified by a roaring pyre. The bloodstained windows burst into shards of glass, raining down to the ground in a shower of glittering moonlight.

"Your funny little tricks," Arueshalae cackled. She’d moved so fast, Ember hadn’t even seen it, but she was unscathed by the blast. Her reflexes were sharper than ever, and Ember’s body had only gotten weaker. She landed upon Desna's statue, one foot callously pressing down upon the head of the goddess. She toyed with one of her trophies - it was a beautifully engraved starknife, likely wrenched from the palm of some poor priest. It was made for ceremonial purposes, perhaps, but she knew from experience it would be exactly as deadly as it needed to be in Arueshalae’s hands. "Awfully quick to rely on them, too. Did you really lose your forgiving spirit? Or did I touch a nerve? Who is it, then, scurrying around in the shadows? An ally? A friend? A moon-eyed follower, blinded by your wisdom? I thought that filthy bird was the last friend you have left."

Ember couldn’t let her face give anything away, even if her pounding heart surely would have instead. A coil of flame burst forth from her palm, twisting through the air and streaking towards Arueshalae. Effortlessly, she leapt from her perch, wings spread as she swept through the smoke left in its wake. The knife whirled through the air, and Ember's movements were too slow. Blood spilled onto the stone as it carved through her side, slashing through her tattered, threadbare robes and worn-out cloak. A moment was all she needed. She dove, tackling her to the ground. She was small, frail. She'd survived on goodwill, and it was often in rare supply. Her back slammed against the ground and she screamed, hearing a loud crack from somewhere in her body as the demon leered at her from above. 

"...Oh, but there will be time for that soon enough. I missed seeing you like this." she purred. "Maybe when I take your other eye, I'll force feed that disgusting bird to you. Though... not before I make sure you see your little companion slaughtered, first. Whoever they are." She could hear Soot's crowing, feel the Succubus' hunger lapping at her abjurations, probing for a weakness it wouldn't find. The desire to see her pinned and humiliated was, perhaps, enough to distract a starving succubus, even if for but a moment. With one hand, Arueshalae forced Ember's good arm down. With the other, she stroked her sharp nails along her cheek in a gesture that almost seemed tender and fond. 

Ember's vision was cloudy, and she could only see her fangs, lips curled in a predatory satisfaction.

"Are you open to bargaining, at long last? The life of one follower isn't cheap, is it? I'll spare them, and you submit yourself to me. I could fit you with a collar and keep you chained to my throne. Tear out your tongue, so I don't have to listen to your obnoxious preaching. You'll be my blind, obedient little pet. You can sit by my side, listening to the music of the abyss and praying for my soul, as you always do." She ran a finger along her cheek, until it found the edges of her eyelids, prying it open and digging her claws that dug into her eye socket. "Forget that anything else in the cosmos even exists, save for me. I'll still show you far more kindness than these mortals have." 

She hissed in pain, twitching. Her arm jerked, but she was overpowered easily, even with her protective spells in place. She coughed on her own blood, letting out a weak, gurgling noise, but an odd smile formed on her lips.

"Oh, really? That pleases you, does it? You’ve spurned my affections so often. I thought you’d begun to hate me! Have you finally begun to submit?" Her nail dug in, close to gouging her eye out. “Praise me, and I’ll consider letting you keep your tongue. You can lavish me with those sweet words that lead doomed men back to the light and preach to me as much as you please, if you use it to lick my boots.” 

Ember let out a weak, trembling sound. She had changed over so many centuries, but even now, her heart… Her foolish, weak, sentimental heart…

“Go on! A bit louder. I can’t hear you.”

"You really can't let go," she whispered. "Of me, of Desna…" 

"Shut up," she snarled, pressing her finger in deeper. Ember let out an excruciating howl of pain. "I’ve changed my mind. You'll be better off without a tongue."

"...That's why you went after Seelah, too, all of those years ago… isn't it? She loved you like a sister."

"And she paid for it!" She barked out a laugh. "There's no one left to even tend to her grave!" 

"We didn't regret loving you."

Through the blood in her eye, Ember could still see her flinch back as if struck, her expression contorted into a mask of pain and rage. Her claw retracted from her eye socket. She looked up, with what little slack she’d now been given. The hole she'd blown through the ceiling gave her a good look at the church's bell tower. The night was full of stars.

"I don't regret loving you now, either," she whispered, her raspy voice carried by a faint, lonesome wind blowing through the desecrated temple.

Her lip curled into a snarl. "How pointlessly fucking vapid."

Ember looked into her eyes. "It's true," she sighed softly. "You were my childhood friend."

"Spare me!" Her voice rose to a shout, and her weight bared down upon her with far more intensity. Her ribs creaked under the pressure, and Ember let out an involuntary whimper of pain. But as Arueshalae drew in close, her voice was a deathly-quiet whisper.

"You should have killed me back then."

She squeezes her eye shut. "You were hurting..."

"You should have killed me," she repeated, cutting her off with a snarl, "the moment you heard about the turncoat demoness. The moment you saw me simpering and begging in my cell. If not then, when I threw myself back into that very same cell out of fear. If not then, when my sins were laid bare before you." Her voice trembled, rising to a fevered, maddened pitch. "You should have killed me when my eyes were blinded by starlight. When the song still echoed sweetly in my ears! You should have killed me when I could have hoped to be anything more than this! Let me die believing in a foolish promise of freedom, or kill me now, so that it finally end!" With a violent lurch, she wrapped both hands around Ember's neck, and slammed her head into the stone. 

Arueshalae’s grip had snapped her wrist, but the pain didn't matter. Nor did the stars in her eyes. With the last of her breath, she disappeared in a flash of light, body crumpling behind the temple's altar, struggling even to breathe.

Arueshalae let out a roar, grabbing the bloodied starknife from the ground, wings flaring in anger. "Not again!" She screamed. "You aren't going to do this again! I'll punish every filthy beggar who dared to accept a scrap of your charity! I'll hunt you down! I'll make you forget your own name, and I’ll rip everything you accomplished to shreds!" 

Ember murmured another incantation, trying to block out the anguished threats. Blood was still gushing from her eye, and her wrist was already beginning to swell, but she had more than enough power in her to stop the pain, even as frail as her body is. Positive energy washed through her body in a warm wave. 

"You'll live in your own piss and shit, that’s how far beneath me you are! You'll survive ten thousand years in my care, and scrape against the ground while I feed you the rotten meat of your own followers! I will brand you with my mark so that no one will ever look upon you without knowing who you belong to! I'll fuck you to death and stitch together what's left, so that I can fuck you to death all over again!" She leapt over the altar, frenzied, teeth bared.

The tolling of a bell could pierce clamor just as it could silence. Arueshalae screamed, her charge broken. The ranting and raving ceased, her body twisting and writhing in pain, and she hugged herself. She let out a whimper, collapsing atop the stone slab as though she were some ritual sacrifice. "What… what is that? What is that sound?"

"Your gift to us," Ember replied, her voice soft. She stepped backwards, never taking her eye off of her. "Do you remember? You might have succeeded in killing me, but you chose this place... this church. You really can't let go..." 

"That… bell? That stupid, insignificant little bell? It's here?! Of all places-!" 

Ember's voice echoed through the temple like the word of the divine.

"Burn."

Soot sat upon the statue of Desna, the blaze dancing in her beady eyes. 

"For the love of the gods, she's a child! She's a child!" He tore frantically through the wood at the base of the pyre, throwing it aside as his skin blistered and his clothes caught flame. He must have been in such terrible pain, but he wouldn't let himself stop until he could finally reach her. He desperately tore at her ropes with his own hands, his flesh beginning to melt. Screaming, screaming. The inquisitors wouldn't stop him, too paralyzed to slaughter their own, but neither would they help him, too faithful in their righteous cause. A witch should burn.

A witch should burn. 

The centuries had changed her, certainly, but not enough. Not nearly enough. The moment that a shred of doubt crept into her mind was the same moment she knew it had to end. She would pray for the Demon Lords of the Abyss, because no one else would. She would pray for Arueshalae, no matter how twisted she became. What hope was there for the wicked and forgotten, if no one would recognize their suffering? How could anyone ever challenge the abyss, if every right-minded crusader and gods-fearing mortal already accepted its terms?

Screams echoed through the temple. It must have been unimaginably painful. In her childhood, she took pity on the man who set the flames, and she took pity on the man who quenched them. She took pity on them all, and in her heart, her innocent and childish heart, she knew that there had to be a better way. Sacrifice would never make the world any kinder. A quiet little cabin somewhere, maybe. Or an endless road, promising freedom. A gentle word. A song. A single, fleeting moment of peace. But a sacrificial pyre?

Never. Never.

-

The little girl crept closer to Ember, anxious and pale. No doubt she heard some of Arueshalae’s uninhibited taunts, or Ember’s screams of pain. At very least Ember made sure to clear out the gore and corpses before allowing her to come wait in the ruined temple with her. The room smelled like smoke and ash, and it was a bitter, acrid thing, but it was no longer the gruesome sight it was before.

“I did well, didn’t I, big sister? When I rang the bell, it helped?”

“You did well,” she nodded. “You made it just in time, and you weren’t seen. I’m proud of you.”

“She’s… she’s not gonna hurt you? Or me? You’re sure of it?” The little girl glanced down at the face of the demon, fidgeting and squirming.

“I’m sure,” she replied.

“How do you know?”

“Look at her eyes.”

…It was a fitful sleep, but she could see it. Movement beneath her closed eyelids. Even demons could dream, after all.

“She’s pretty,” she said, almost without thought. “...Why did she hate you so much, big sister?”

Ember shook her head. "It isn't the right time to say. She needs her sleep."

A fat, orange cat sat on top of the roof of a warehouse. How did it get up there…? It was a mouser, but it was also well-fed and well loved. It was clean, groomed, and taken care of. It wore a cute little collar. She touched down on the roof, as gentle as could be, and lay beside the it, watching it for as long as it remained, but never creeping any closer. How simple it would be, to be born as something so effortlessly loved…

The world was better off when the Worldwound closed, but whenever she thought of her happiest moments… when the haze of violence cleared from her eyes and she could remember happiness at all, rather than a perpetual numbing hunger and clawing hatred... she thought about the war. Mortals, marching into a desolate and dead land, fighting against an incomprehensibly vast foe, and her place among them. Nervously braiding a young girl's hair. A joyous cry of ‘Sister!’ from someone bold enough to call her a friend. A thousand and one jokes she never quite understood. Two women so deeply in love their lives were like one. Art and poetry. Cold and uncompromising duty. A cause she believed in with her entire heart, even if her heart was forever unknown to her.

Dreams. Beautiful, lovely dreams, clutched greedily in her arms. 

When she opened her eyes, she found herself laying on Ember’s lap. Above her, a fat crow sat on a burned statue of the goddess, a beautiful little butterfly perched on her beak. Beyond that, a burning hole that had been blown through the ceiling, and far above, she could see the stars. She saw them in her Knight Commander’s eyes, once. Cold, distant, and impassive. Her judgment was certain. Her role in the cosmos had been long predetermined. What use is there, fighting the irrevocable law of her nature?

And yet... In the fog of sleep, she could imagine them, ever-so-briefly, to be a mercy. Just as she did before, when the future inspired hope instead of... boredom and fear. They were glittering map of beauty, myth, heroism and love, displayed upon a marvelous tapestry. In her weakness, she could see how lovely the heavens were. Just as the earth had flowers. Just as her heart had…

…

“Sh- she’s awake?” The voice of a terrified child. A snarling instinct roared within Arueshalae, hammering against her psyche. Kill her swiftly enough that Ember couldn’t stop her. Torment her with her failure! Bathe in her blood!

…She couldn’t bring herself to move. Ember had healed her completely, and the agonizing pain of that divine flame washing over her was gone, but somehow, she could no longer find the strength for it. Perhaps it had burned something crucial out of her being, rendering her helpless. She’d remain, a declawed and neutered demoness. How pathetic.

“You were so close,” she said. “Why can’t you just kill me?”

“It’s love,” Ember answered sadly, looking away. “If I don’t love you, then no one will ever love you again. My friend, who would shelter me from the rain…”

“Stop. Ember, stop…”

“You were always so afraid, Arueshalae.”

“I was fooling myself,” she spat, failing to drum up her usual level of venom and spite. “Fooling you, too. A demon can't love.”

“I still see her in you. Even now.”

“That girl you knew was a figment. A dream. A lie! Haven’t I proven that, yet!?”

“If she was a dream,” she said, “then isn’t she the answer to the riddle that vexed you so?”

It felt as though something in her broke. Centuries of pressure had built up, and now released. She hissed, like an angry cat, trying to sputter out some half-formed insult. What came instead was a soft moan, as tears welled in her eyes. She choked, clutching at Ember’s tattered robes.

For the first time in centuries, Arueshalae began to cry.

[xxkylarthelonerxx]

Ah, a gift! I've found another manga I believe would be right up your alley: "An Ordinary Girl Obsessed Over By A Downer Deity", by Umekoppe on dto.to . While I won't say what exactly, the second chapter had something that caught me off guard, but made it all the better.

I hope Valentines went well for you and your darling. How are you, additionally?

Well wishes,

resident beastman enjoyer

hi again. valentine's day was great, thanks for asking. i had so much fun with my beloved!!

here's a link to the rec for anyone who's curious. i couldn't find a second chapter of this one like you mentioned, but maybe it's part of this one? or i might not be looking in the right spot. but what's linked there is really good...

also, another by umekoppe sent to me. that's a good thing, i really like their works. the way they illustrate the yanderes' expressions are always my favorite part. they understand how to show that barely-restrained passion, the yearning... it's easy to forget that yanderes' actions are just because of our strong emotions (we can't always help it), but the way umekoppe draws it, it's not easy to forget. (some of you normies just don't understand what it's like to have emotions like these. it's excruciating, at times.)

but the way the yanderes always get their way in their works is comforting to me. someday i'll be just as strong as they always are in these doujins. i can't wait.

no spoilers again, but i can see why this one was recommended by the beastman enjoyer. actually, the beast-related part near the end surprised me... 20 minutes at minimum? that sounds like heaven... just imagine how intimate that would be, being trapped together..! oh, but that's all i'll say for now. go read it if you're curious.

[recurring-polynya]

Hello! Long time lurker. I've really enjoyed reading your work and especially love Heart is a Muscle and the way you characterise all the different relationships in it! My ask is how do you think Byakuya finds out about RenRuki. I feel like it would be one of those moments where subconsciously he'd see it coming but at the same time still be caught of guard and manage to be very Byakuya about it.

This was one of those where I wasn't quite sure if it was an ask or a fic request, but the fact is I have an old chunk of story sitting around that addresses this very question. I guess I intended to someday throw this into some post-Heart is a Muscle story, and maybe I still will, but who knows if I'm ever going to get there, so you can have it now. Takes place after everyone gets home from the Blood War (where Rukia and Renji had to confess to each other in the middle of bankai training because I thought it would be cool it was weighing on their hearts)

(I wrote this in 2019 and gave it only light edits)

| read on ao3 | request guidelines |

⚔️ 🕶️ 💕

The sun was starting to go down when Kuchiki Byakuya arrived at Practice Field #3. On a normal day, work hours would be long over, although one might find an industrious officer out in this part of the division grounds, training on their own, or a few of the younger ones playing a game of pick-up football. Tonight, it was quiet.

It had been nine days since Kurosaki Ichigo had defeated Yhwach.

A young human girl was perched on the fence surrounding the field, chatting animatedly with Byakuya's ridiculous adjutant, who snapped to attention when he sensed the approach of his commanding officer.

"Good evening, sir!" Abarai Renji barked. "Thank you for agreeing to this! I hope you don't mind, but I asked Inoue Orihime to come."

The girl hopped off the fence and bowed deeply. "Hello, again, Captain Kuchiki, sir!"

"Worried that I won't hold back?" Byakuya asked with a coolly raised eyebrow.

"Oh, I know you won't," Renji replied. "She's here so that I don't hold back."

Byakuya guffawed, and one side of his mouth quirked up. "Congratulations, Lieutenant. You've finally managed to say something humorous."

"You feeling good today, sir?" Renji asked, just a tinge of concern in his voice. "You feeling up for this?"

"I am fully recovered, thank you," Byakuya sniffed. "Yourself?"

"Feelin' good, sir."

"Then let us begin."

"Oh, one last thing, Captain. Would you mind leaving your scarf with Orihime, here? I wouldn't wanna get my blood all over another one."

"Truly, Lieutenant, you are on a roll today," Byakuya noted, unwinding the scarf from his neck and draping it around Orihime's.

"Oooh, it's so light!" Orihime cooed. "It's like nothing!"

"I'll tell Kurosaki to get you one for your birthday," Renji teased.

"Are you ready now?" Byakuya demanded.

"Yep, enough stallin'. Let's do this."

Orihime hopped back up on the fence and called up a shield in front of herself. "Good luck, Renji!" she called.

Abarai shot her a wink and took up his position on the field.

Byakuya placed his hand on the hilt of his sword, but did not draw it.

Abarai drew his and silently released into shikai. He bounced lightly on the balls of his feet. "Might wanna release, sir."

"I shall be the judge of that."

Renji gave a little nod. "As y'like. BANKAI!"

It was common knowledge that Abarai had unlocked a second level to his bankai in the Royal Realm. Byakuya was looking forward to seeing it actually, but he wasn't particularly concerned about it.

Byakuya knew quite a bit about zanpakutou and their releases. It did happen occasionally that a sword would reveal itself in stages, but it tended to retain its essential character.

Hihiou Zabimaru was an excellent bankai, powerful and versatile. It required immense spiritual pressure, iron concentration and significant amount of mental bookkeeping, Byakuya was given to understand. It had served Abarai well in his ill-advised hijinks up until now, but the fact was, it would not be truly formidable until Abarai himself had another half-century or so under his belt. It was too bulky, too finicky, too fragile. There was no other way to master bankai like that, only experience. Byakuya knew a quite bit about bankai like that, himself.

Abarai launched himself at his captain, blade swinging.

Byakuya went to shikai as he drew his zanpakutou, petals pouring forth from his sheath and forming a shield in front of him.

Abarai's blade sliced right through it.

Byakuya flash-stepped away, sweeping Senbonzakura's blades into a more solid foundation, only to find them knocked out of the way by a giant skeletal hand. Another flash step, another regrouping, and Abarai was there again.

Suddenly, it dawned on him. Hihio Zabimaru had been a joke. A prank. A giant, heavy, impossible-to-use freight train that Abarai had taken in stride, as he did every other misfortune that fate heaped upon him. It was a shadow, an echo of Abarai's real bankai.

So-oh Zabimaru also took immense spiritual pressure to summon, that much was still true. But the bulk, the unwieldy mass was gone. It was as if though Abarai's new spiritual armor was plugged directly into his spinal column. It moved with him weightlessly, astonishingly fast.

Something else had changed, too. Something about Abarai's spiritual pressure. It was more unified, more focused, more together. For the first time out of the many, many times Byakuya had fought his lieutenant, he did not feel like he was being attacked by an angry, flailing youth, but that he was facing a worthy adversary.

Byakuya was being pressed harder and harder to defend against Abarai's assault.

And the fact was, he was not fine.

The injuries inflicted on him by As Nodt were grievous. He was lucky to be alive, and if it weren't for Kirinji's healing springs, he probably wouldn't even be able to summon his zanpakutou. His soul was damaged, and although he had made a miraculous recovery, he was not completely made whole. His speed was close to what it once was, and his bond with Senbonzakura was as strong as ever, but his power and endurance were greatly compromised. He could go to bankai if needed, but it was extremely taxing, and Shuukei Hakuteiken was, at the moment, out of his reach.

He thought it wouldn't matter.

Abarai had never even come close to beating him.

Abarai wouldn't notice such a weakness and furthermore, was too sentimental to exploit such a--

He had brought Inoue.

Abarai knew exactly what he was doing.

“BANKAI!” Byakuya called out.

Abarai smirked. “You shouldna let me get that head start, Captain.”

---

"Renji, he's waking up!"

The world swam into view, tinted orange.

"Hey, Captain!" Abarai's grating bark rang out. "How you feel?"

"I feel fine," Byakuya snapped, starting to sit up.

"Lie down please, I'm almost done, but not quite," Orihime said firmly.

Byakuya put his head back down on the ground, and replayed the last few moments of the fight in his head.

Abarai had come out aggressively, going to bankai immediately. He had never allowed Byakuya to gain a solid footing, and pulled out his strongest attack, which Byakuya had never seen, as soon as he possibly could. Byakuya hadn’t even been able to get a good look at it, he only had the impression of fangs before becoming completely overwhelmed. Abarai, who knew his attack patterns, who knew that it took him a minute or two to work up a full head of steam, had bet everything he had on defeating Byakuya immediately and it had worked.

It had been a rout, an utter humiliation.

Byakuya could still beat his adjutant, surely, but he could no longer plow him over with superior strength, and certainly not in his degraded condition. He was going to need to think up counterstrategies. And some of them were not going to work.

He looked down at his chest and realized that his shihakushou had been sliced from shoulder to hip, and was soaked, absolutely drenched with blood.

"You didn't cut me in half, did you?" he sneered.

"No, you were definitely all still, um, attached," Renji clarified.

"Not by much, though," Orihime mumbled.

Renji nudged her firmly in the shoulder.

Orihime waved her hands, and the healing bubble collapsed into nothingness. "All done!"

Abarai held out a hand. With a twinge of reluctance, Byakuya took it, and let the younger man haul him to his feet.

Orihime scrambled up, pulling the scarf over her head, and offered it back. "Thanks for letting me watch! That was a really fun fight! You're both so, so strong and it's so much nicer when no one actually wants to kill each other."

"Hey, we don't wanna keep everyone waiting, right, 'Hime?" Renji said, glancing sideways at his captain. "We got dinner plans, everyone's leavin' tomorrow."

"Yes, Rukia mentioned it," Byakuya replied dryly.

"You okay to--"

"Stop checking on me, you fool. I have said I am well and I dislike repeating myself."

Renji nodded quickly. "Thanks for the fight, sir. I'll see you in the morning."

Three hours later, Byakuya sat in his office.

He was thinking.

He was thinking about the current state of the Gotei 13, the captain-less squads, the loss of highly seated officers. He was thinking about his Third Seat, who had never exactly been lieutenant material and was currently on medical leave after having his sword-arm completely reconstructed.

Byakuya looked up at the sound of the door opening.

"Uh, hi, Captain," Abarai said, clearly surprised to see him. "What are you doing here so late?"

"This is my office, is it not?" Byakuya snapped.

"Well, sure," Abarai replied, walking over to his own desk. "I left my sunglasses here," he explained, sticking them on top of his head.

"It's dark out," Byakuya pointed out.

"I'll need 'em in the morning," Renji shrugged. He frowned thoughtfully, then pulled open his filing cabinet and withdrew a folder. "Speaking of which, I was gonna give you this tomorrow, but as long as we're both here..."

He crossed the room and extended it.

Gingerly, Byakuya took it, then squinted at the notation on the tab. "Strongly Worded Letters to the Management of Squad 11?"

Abarai's eyes widened. "Oh, no, that was just to keep people from poking around. It's actually...well, it's pretty obvious what it is," he finished lamely.

"You aren't ready,"' Byakuya snarled.

"I'm...what?"

"Yes, your new bankai is very powerful, it is true. But just because you have run roughshod over a few enemies with it hardly means you're ready to strike out on your own. You need more training, more control. A bankai like that can land you in hot water as well as it can save you. Furthermore, there's a shortage of competent lieutenants, it would be foolhardy indeed for you to set forth without experienced backup, and don't tell me you're even thinking of the Seventh. I have heard how you and Lieutenant Iba are when you two are unsupervised."

Abarai's face was twisted in utter befuddlement. "Sir, what are you talking about?"

Byakuya flipped the folder open and stared at the neat stack of papers within. "This isn't an Intent to Test for the Captains' Exam," he said, taken aback.

Renji made a choking noise. "No, sir! Cripes, sir, I just got a new bankai, why would I leave? I need you to help me learn to use it. An' I wouldn't leave you, anyway, not while you're still, you know. From the As Nodt thing. Also, who the hell wants to be captain of anywhere but the Sixth?" His voice rose steadily in both volume and pitch as he babbled.

"There is no need to shout, Lieutenant," Byakuya frowned, looking down again at the stack of papers.

It was a copy of form RHCA-48-006-C, an application to become a Family-Approved Suitor.

Stupidly, Byakuya's eyes drifted over the names written into the form's blank spaces. "With the submission of this form, Abarai Renji, Assistant Captain of the Sixth Division of the Gotei 13," (did he really need to write all that out? It barely fit in the space) "requests the approval of the Kuchiki family to court Lady Kuchiki Rukia, Assistant Captain of the Thirteenth and First Daughter of the Kuchiki."

Oh.

Oh.

---

Byakuya sat in the garden, on the bench near the koi pond. His brain was chasing about in aimless circles, much like the fish in the pond.

"Brother?"

He looked up from the water. His sister was still dressed, despite the late hour. Byakuya recalled that she had been out earlier with Abarai and their human friends. Her hair and makeup was different from the way she wore it for formal events, sharper, wilder. It seemed surreal that parts of the city had been reduced to dust, while others had come through virtually untouched. That despite it all, life continued on.

"Are you alright?" Rukia asked, her brow creased with worry.

Byakuya smiled at her gently, affectionately. He thought about the great lengths he had once gone to protect her from the world, and now she, a woman with one of the most beautiful and deadly bankai he had ever seen, was fussing over him.

"I am fine, Rukia," he reassured her. "Will you sit with me?"

He had expected her to perch at the other end of the bench, a nervous bird, always ready to take flight. Instead, she sat close to him, and with an egregious disregard for propriety, took one of his hands between her own, holding it in her lap. "Renji's sorry, you know. He thought he should have waited another week or two, but I said--"

"He should not be,” Byakuya said stiffly. “Another week or two would have made no difference. I do not wish to speak of it further."

"Did you have something to eat--"

"Did you know that my lieutenant is in love with you?"

It was dark, so he couldn't see if Rukia's cheeks turned pink, but he did catch the shy smile that crossed her lips before she turned her face away self-consciously. Long ago, he had caused her normally unflappable sister to make that face once, maybe twice. It was possibly his greatest achievement.

"He, ah, mentioned something to that effect the other day,"

Byakuya was fairly certain that Abarai wouldn't have proceeded without Rukia's buy-in, but he felt it prudent to double-check. "I take it you... reciprocate?"

She made a pleased little hum. "He only happened to mention it at all because I had just told him that I was in love with him."

Byakuya often enjoyed whimsically deriding his ridiculously hardworking and absurdly devoted adjutant, even more so in the presence of his sister, whose affection for the man had long been obvious, if not the degree of it. But he couldn't bring himself to make jokes, not right now.

"You do not need my permission to take up with him romantically," he pointed out. "You and I have had a long-standing agreement, that as long as you were discreet about it--"

"Renji and I don't want that," Rukia interrupted. "I mean, we do. We do want to take up romantically." She made an odd face at having to say the phrase out loud. "But you're very important to both of us. We wanted you to know. We… wanted you to approve."

Byakuya glanced over at the young woman who he had adopted so many years ago, and yet, had only recently become his sister. She was, in so many ways, much like himself in his youth. Brash. Stubborn. Willful. Too brilliant by half. Byakuya adjusted his hand in hers, and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"You know I am a sentimental fool," he began, and Rukia turned to look at him again with an expression he couldn't quite parse. "I think it is embarrassingly obvious how fond I am of both of you."

Emotion broke over Rukia's face. "It is not, Brother," she tried to scold him, though her voice cracked at the end.

"He hardly deserves you," Byakuya went on.

Rukia rolled her eyes. "The two of you are so--"

"But at least he acknowledges that, and seeks to remedy it," Byakuya ignored her. "I shall be watching closely to make sure he does not become complacent, but if he continues on his current trajectory, he may eventually become worth your affection."

"So, are you going to approve his stupid form?" Rukia asked.

"That," replied Byakuya, "is a different matter."

"Oh," Rukia said softly.

"Becoming a Family-Approved Suitor has nothing to do with whether or not I like him. It is an opening of negotiations, a proof of suitability for marriage. Surely, you two don't…" He trailed off when he saw Rukia looking away again.

"We've only just started figuring this out," she admitted. "But it's not...out of the question."

"Oh," Byakuya replied. He'd always had the distinct impression that his sister had little interest in matrimony, although he knew as well as anyone the difference the "who" of the equation could make.

"That presents...a difficulty," he admitted. "The Family would not take it well. They already think I have been too selfish in these matters.”

“That’s so short-sighted,” Rukia muttered. “So he doesn’t have much money or a name that goes six generations back. He’s got bankai. He’s incredibly strong. The family hasn’t even produced anyone who can pass the vice-captain’s exam in the last hundred years.”

"You misunderstand me, Sister," he clarified. "Bringing Abarai into the family would be a tremendous benefit to me, personally. I lack for neither money nor familial pedigree. The only thing I lack is a family line. A young man of immense spiritual pressure, with no family ties of his own, and an inexplicably fierce loyalty to myself would be of great benefit to our line and perhaps to our family as a whole. It would not be very advantageous to those who are jostling to prove themselves the best among a number of poor choices. The family has not been to war in a long time, and many forget how important it is to maintain our strength. I have not forgotten.”

Rukia’s eyes widened. “You wouldn’t name him…”

Byakuya made a horrified face. “Of course not.” He frowned. “Not for the family. But the Captain of the Sixth need not also be the head of the family. I told the Head Captain a year ago he was the only one I trusted to replace me in that regard, although I doubted my posthumous opinion would be respected. I suppose I should tell Kyouraku the same. This would make things a bit smoother, I suppose.” He was quiet for a moment. “I will need to think on this. I might.... I might need to talk to Grandfather. I… will do what I can.”

Rukia eased her hand from his, and slid her arms around his waist and leaned into his side. “Thank you, Brother. I love you.”

Byakuya closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He hardly deserved her, either. He pulled one arm out of her hug and rested it gently around her shoulder. “Thank you, Rukia,” he said softly. Another deep breath. “I love you, too.”

Her only response was to hug him just the teeniest bit harder.

[rosemaze-reveries]

― kiss by kiss

martha behamfil x you you make it so hard for me to hold back

⚠️ modern AU. i imagined this to be a modern Sway but any Martha could work <3

Martha often appears in your life in fragments.

You think of her like some sort of mirage for you to chase after, untouchable no matter how close you get. She reappears in your life every once in a while to take your hands and whisk you away for a night. It never matters where; she has a way of breathing magic into every one of your few encounters together. Another week, another escapade. It's routine by now.

The music of the city still pulsates through your bones when she brings you back from another night out. Martha steps off to a nearby fence, cigarette dangling from her fingers. You suck in a sharp breath. As the night quiets down, your mind sobers up, and the magic fades, with only Martha as the last of your enchantment. Unconsciously, your gazes draws back to her.

A stray fleck of confetti clings to her hair just above her ear. You find your way to her, a small smile on your lips, and swiftly pluck it out. You don't think anything of it, until she seizes your hand and holds it to her cheek.

A few lingering seconds pass.

It takes all of your strength to ignore the flare rising in your chest. You can only pin your gaze on her — at all of the warmth in her eyes, familiar yet never lasting long enough; at those parted lips and their silent plea to spill out the words she swore never to voice again.

Maybe this time, you try to convince yourself, my mind isn't just playing tricks on me. You pick up each of her unspoken wishes.

"Martha," you start, gently prying your hand out of her grasp. "Am I in your way?"

It's a vague question, poorly strung together from your jumbled thoughts. But Martha knows exactly what you're trying to ask. She sends back a lopsided smile, lifting her cigarette for a quick suck off it. "You often are," she says.

She'll always find a way to duck out of prying questions, no matter how swiftly you pin her on the spot. She might've even been expecting it. You can detect a hint of guilt in her little half-joke. Still, you had to ask it while you have her attention.

"No, really," you push. "I feel like you always stop before you really want to. Am I holding you back from something?"

Your mind wanders to all the nights you've spent with her-- all the times she has slid you onto her lap, trailing kisses up your neck; the satisfaction in her hum whenever she breaks away; her warmth when she traces the work she left on your swollen lips. She'll murmur about how sweet you feel in her arms, and how she pities that this could never be something more.

Those constant nevers leave ugly gashes in your heart each time. Sometimes you feel like little more than a distraction. A wrench in her routine, kept around only to shake up the monotony of her normal duties. Martha, noble as she is reckless, does not like to deviate from her routines for long -- so the second she is called away again, she will cut you off without warning. That's how she always has been.

Why do you keep letting her come back?

She pivots her focus solely to you whenever she's in town, and you always believe her love is true. Call it naive, but you can't help it. You desperately wish that her nevers might change for you, turning into: I'll never let you go. That someday the tenderness in her touch will last.

Martha turns her back to the fence, propping her elbows up on either side of her. She lets out an affected hum.

"I guess I didn't meet your expectations tonight then?" She reaches for your waist, tugging you into her arms. "My bad. I'll make it up to you." Her fingers affectionately ruffle your hair, but once again, she's skipped over the point. On purpose, you're sure.

"I really do love you," she continues, lips falling to your ear. "It's not you that's holding me back. Actually, knowing I'll always find you in my way-- that's what keeps me going."

Always so cruel. But it works like a charm on you everytime. Maybe this once, her words might be genuine.

[strangerstime]

So, the second part of the redraw!

A tip for anyone who's about to draw their comic or animation: don't rush yourself unless you want your drawings to look like BloodMoon in the first illustration…

Maybe someday I'll redraw all my old comics, but for now I'll enjoy my progress <3

[dairyeri]

🎉14/14🎉

And so my dears, I congratulate all of us on the solemn completion of the prologue! 🥳

💖A huge Thank You to each of you for supporting me on this difficult path, it's really important for me 💖💖💖💖💖

Back | Next

MASTERPOST

What I achieved today, I consider a huge victory on my creative path, as it was my first experience creating something large scale. And there's more to come✨

Earlier, I mentioned that I had the idea for the comic itself about a year ago.

However, its development began only in June of this year. It's just that at some point I decided to finally pull myself together and finally started striving for my dreams and motivate others to not give up by my example 💖

When I started, I ran like crazy, not even knowing exactly how many pages there would be, as I started storyboarding only in the middle of the prologue 😅

This story I have been drawing for three months, almost every day, has changed a lot of things in my life from the distancing from a once loved one, to a complete rethinking of my limits and possibilities...maybe someday I'll tell you about it on YouTube.

As for the release of the next chapter, the first page will be out on September 17. And I want to take a couple of weeks to catch up on the backlog of material, so posts may or may not come out less frequently during that time (I apologize for that in advance), and hopefully I will finish some things I hope you'll hear about soon💖

And speaking of the chapters themselves, they promise to be pretty massive ( hopefully I'll have time to draw them out🥲 )

The first storyboard already comes out almost twice as big as the prologue, and the second almost four times as big, and moreover, will consist of two parts, the first of which is already ready in draft.

Again, everything can change, but the most important thing is that I will not give up so easily, don't even hope ✨✨✨✨✨ I'm with you for a long time💖💖💖💖

[yuraslefttoe]

hey, it's me again! I came to pester you with questions!! *there should be a scary laugh, but it sounds more like mean giggles*

(by the way, I’m thinking about sending you such long texts with questions (because I have a lot of them!!) once one or two weeks, if you don’t mind. . . . . . .you don't mind..??? (god, I hope you don’t get tired of me..!) I'm so sorry, please, I'm just very interested!! *qwq*)

ok, let's start with the sweetest part, prelude. ACTUALLY, I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT YOU REPLY SO QUICKLY, GOD, NOT PASSED A FEW HOURS!!!!!! I THOUGHT YOU HAD TOO MANY QUESTIONS SO I DID NOT EXPECT A SO SOON REPLY!!

I’ll remind you once again how much I adore your work (after all, you deserve it!!), and I’ll also say that I specifically shouldn’t talk about posts tagged with the  adm, because I’ve read your tumblr and twitter in its entirety several times, I even have a separate album in my gallery with answers that particularly interested me, there are several hundred screenshots there and I don’t regret anything! (sorry if my hyperfixation may be intimidating!!)

*=^._.^= ∫*

and now the questions!!!! 

1. my wife doesn’t have a tumblr, but her suggestion interested me and can be seen in the first two screenshots(the translation sounds like: “after the release of “red hour” I have an assumption that andrey is more... athletic than misha. either this is because of ferry’s drawing style, or he really has such wide shoulders")so now we are interested to know about the physique of your characters!! maybe some of them are thin, or vice versa, a little overweight. and what about physical training? did you have any headcanons for this??? ( by the way, when I ask about “characters” I mean not only misha and andrey, but also europe and maya, because they are also worthy of attention <зз) 

2. what about the abbreviation "dyusha" for andrey? in russian it is... not used very often, but still, it sounds very cute. so it would be interesting to know how you would feel about this? 3. I also want to hear about the names of the characters!! how did you choose them? I mean........ how did it happen that from ☺europa☺ you switched to 👹MiKhAiL👹?? (I'M SO SORRY, BUT MISHA'S FULL NAME SOUNDS SOMETHING THREATENING. MY UNCLE'S DOG HAS THE SAME NAME EHE- *ᕕ(ಥ▽ಥ)ᕗ*) 

4. and lastly, let's return to my wife for another moment. she suggested that andrey was now also in a time loop. what do you say about that? and also in enigma, she noticed that misha seemed to be addressing the second person in the lines: "and if you wanted to be anything more than just free" and "you’ve seen a hundred lies I see that all the time". is this second person a viewer? or maybe one of the previously mentioned characters??

the last photo, by the way, is one of the sketches that I found so far in my gallery! ^^ 

initially it was planned to attach two sketches, but andrey turned out TOO bad, I’m ashamed to show him. someday I'll redraw it into something normal.... maybe. but! I really like the pic with misha and the wolf(I hope this is the wolf you were talking about lol. google didn’t show me anything else, and I’ve never been to ikea myself, ehe...) 

(and I don’t want to post all this yet, because running a tumblr was certainly not part of my plans, haha)) I registered here solely to read your blog, and not to maintain my own) 

sorry again for possible illiteracy, and also for the chaotic nature of my thoughts, haha, I don’t know how to adequately express them in english.. and also, I’m really REALLY apologize that the text was too long, next time I’ll try to be shorter...

okay im gonna try and answer everything here in a coherent way so sorry if nothing makes sense

im just fine with lotes of questions :) answering asks and responding to comments is one of my favorite things ever and i brings a verry big smile to my face

on andrei: i consider him to be a skinny little gut but not exactly unathletic, and in addition i think he would have basic combat training and probably be good with firearms. misha is probably a very average bodytype, nothing special, not particularly athletic.

i do not speak russian (though ferry has recently encouraged me to learn so maybe in like four years ill be able to form a sentence) so i dont know anything about the short forms so you can do whatever you want. if you coin it and peoples tart calling him that i will not stop it from happening

i do not name my characters, i usually let me friends name them (i think that the only one i named was europa and his partner). going forward maybe ill try to make it more cohesive

the time loop idea im seeing thrown around alot is really cool and while i havent particularly wrote any of my songs about that in general i see it fitting into the loose narrative i have going on. also in enigma misha is definitely talking to andrei whenever he says the word "you" but it could also be to the listener because the entire theme of enigma is 4th wall breaking and meta shenanigans like that

that sketch is SO CUTE oh my god

[jolee]

I'm going through some really big life and self changes in the real world right now, thank you for being patient waiting for art. Shitty drawings, something I used to be able to pump out almost every hour of my days for what? 5 years now. It's incredible how motivated people who interact with me because of my art made me. 5 years is a long time though. I'm 18 about to be 19 now. I started posting my art or at all when I was 13 and I'm not going to sugarcoat it at all, the ..exposure I was.... exposed to.. because of the internet, it traumatized me. Genuinely and seriously. There's another factor too, I never liked myself at all. But drawing and seeing that finally FINALLY I did, or ig doodled, something ok enough to trick people I was talented. Next thing I know I find my self years later a lifeless husk rotting in my bed worrying about if my art, the one thing I was semi-not bad at, was bad! Then the worst part, the numbers. I didn't realize the stress I eventually put on myself. Being from a shitty trap house abusive situation to the next and then the next I had to start making money of my art at 13 so I could eat some days. Shitty anime commissions and keychains I sold got me to be able to give a man money to drive me to therapy somedays. I've met so many good good genuinely funny interesting beautiful and holy fuck TALENTED people because of my time on focusing on running my art accounts. I want to focus on me though for a second. Thank you guys for understanding

Or if you don't, you can unfollow. I've waited too long. I'm gonna be a second. The last thing I want to do is go back to stressing over something like unfollowing or numbers or art. Art used to be my definition meaning of life. Art gives meaning to life. I believe that to my core, always have, always will. But I have to admit, it stopped becoming as fun as a hobby or meaning to life when I was forced to capitalize off of it . Make money off of it. Refresh to see if I have more likes, worry if this post will flop because I drew something not at popular right now, worrying about making a living off of it. That's not art. That's not fun. That's not the person who I started off as. I love you all, friends I've met because of my accounts and especially the all the people who I don't know personally and yet have supported my art. I've had so many good memories and bad ones too. Life's just like that. I'll be back with more art soon

Maybe ♥️

[wifiwuxians]

Baby girl of all time ( aq ) . And also maybe xy and jacket of hlm fame but u can separate / choose just 1 from the 3 if u want,

oh shit okay let's Go

First impression: "Oh shit what the hell happened to her. Also WOW WAIT A GIRL"

Impression now: Baby girl who I will protect with my LIFE. I love drawing and writing her and really need to do it more often, I found deep solace in her design since I'd come from Hotline Miami and one of the characters I drew most also has this fringe, so she's very satisfying for me to draw... I just love how she is a complete gremlin with a rude mouth who gets all cute when she's around someone she likes and wants to be in the good graces of... She is my little schemer angel

Favorite moment: This is audio drama only and may be a false memory but she and Xue Yang are doing their bickering and he's like "alright shortie!" and she's like "STINKY!" and it was just very important to me that she said that

Idea for a story: As well as the story I suggested for Song Lan, I'm going to show my ass here and say that I've been playing around with an Arcane AU for a hot minute now LOL I really want her to just go crazy and be powerful, you know? It's not super in line with what I usually do with her or see her but I just... Want to indulge. And what are AUs for if not that. So yeah! Jinx A-Qing, growing up in the underbelly of a toxic city and stealing from the surface with her older brother. It could be so good. Especially with everything else Arcane has going on

Unpopular opinion: I genuinely don't think I have one? I just wish she were in more stuff because like I said before everyone in the arc is of equal importance. Nothing would happen without all four of them

Favorite relationship: It's hers with Xue Yang. I'm sorry. It is. You know it, everyone knows it. Like Xue Yang with Song Lan, it's the what if for me. They're crazy sibling coded whether they like it or not and the way they bounce off each other is delightful for me to write and draw. They're both street rat gremlins and they deserve to mouth off at each other, and I also endlessly long for a world in which they actually have each other's backs. I love them so much it's unreal I can't go into too much detail or I'll start crying

Favorite headcanon: Hmmm that's a really good Q. I kinda just roll with these guys any which way so it's hard to pinpoint, but I guess my favorite thing that I do is give her a green scarf she never takes off in modern AUs because it was a gift from her brother (: But that's... not really a headcanon aksdjfg OH OH! I really like the one that her mother taught her to lie and pretend to be blind before her passing

First impression: "Man this guy fucking sucks he's annoying as shit. When does this part of the story end I literally could not care less"

Impression now: WELP I could spend literal hours talking about all my thoughts and feelings for this little shit but the summarized version for the sake of everyone is He sucks he's annoying as shit and I love him so much. He's super important to me on like a personal level so I am peak annoying about him yaaay

Favorite moment: It's hard to really have a favorite moment for a character who is admittedly rather difficult to follow along, due to the Behaviors, but I like his helicopter blade spin and fun little skipping in CQL, I like his backflips and "I need to get back before it rains" in the donghua (that second one for emotional reasons), I like him staring numbly after receiving candy in the manhua and in the novel I think it's him putting fresh straw in A-Qing's coffin while he waits for his life to magically fix itself

Idea for a story: Since I've covered another few involving him already, I'll share one idea that I would really love to write someday but that I just never get around to... Xue Yang tests the nails on himself to see just how much he can get away with (aka seeing if they can work on the living), effectively giving himself amnesia. He's found by Song Lan, hell-bent on revenge for his temple, but Song Lan cannot kill someone who doesn't remember his crimes. Memory restoring roadtrip ensues. It would be so fun (and also not!) for me to write...

Unpopular opinion: I don't need to write this one out lmao

Favorite relationship: If you've been reading the others I've answered, you'll know it's basically a tie between A-Qing and Song Lan. I just. There's so much that could happen between them. So much good, fun, terrible stuff for me to explore. Song Lan took up most of the space because he's just the favorite guy, really, and he alone makes me feral, but I love the gremlin-off that he has with A-Qing as stated above... And I mean yeah, Xiao Xingchen too, but it doesn't tickle my brain as much as the other two ): maybe because we saw a lot of it already in canon so there's not a lot for me to do there and my brain demands puzzle assembly to the maximum. Honestly, all relationships he has in canon are intriguing and worthy of exploration, but those initial two are my top picks

Favorite headcanon: TRANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First impression: "Is this guy ok" Impression now: This guy is definitely not ok. But that's fine. I'm here for him, I'm here to help him get out of the nationalistic toxic mindset. Take my hand it'll be alright Jacket you need not suffer anymore

Favorite moment: Definitely him rescuing Ms Girl from her abusive situation (which was also a building full of recently deceased people JDHFJHF) and taking her home and making sure she was okay, by a phone in case she wanted to call someone, on the couch so she'd have her own space, all bundled up with a blanket and a bucket nearby...

Idea for a story: I fear most of my HLM juice is depleted after dedicating so much of my life to it, but it might be nice to write something about him and his time in the military with his Special Ops tm. See how he was dealing with all that on a psychological level (hint: not well)

Unpopular opinion: He's only selectively mute, but has a bit of a speech impediment and talks slowly like Wen Ning lJHDJKFJ

Favorite relationship: Aside from him and his girlfriend, which sort of cemented my kind of love for ships in which partners are of similar personalities and full of boundless patience and adoration for each other, it's him and his best friend (so historians say) from his army days, who he still dreams about constantly and who he's shown to care enough about to go on a whole revenge killing spree for. That man saved his life and he was unable to do the same and it clearly kills him inside

Favorite headcanon: The speech impediment thing tbh and the idea that he's actually got these sad, gentle eyes under the scary chicken mask

[cerealmonster15]

[background template source!]

hmm yknow what. maybe i was supposed to describe the unique magic in that bottom box. oh well teehee!!!!!

updated references for twst rsa ocs Char and Dañarte!!!!! for now. i'll add them to artfight soon!!! I was gonna do another one for Dañarte's Scarabia Era but I worked on these all week.... so i'll just do that one separately sometime maybe lol. anyway i've posted about these guys a lot as u can see from the tags i gave them on my blog, BUT my main origin post about their soap opera lore is really long and intimidating to read.... I have a shorter lore post here, but JFKSJLDJFKLDS.... finding these templates made nice, more condensed intros for them lol. and I [slightly] updated their looks so they aren't just carbon copies of what the seven dwarf characters are wearing!!!! but i'm bad at clothing design so i didn't really change them much!!!!

also i tried to be careful but my handwriting is Bad so i'll retype the info / talk more under the cut.

First guy: CHAR

Age: 18

Best Subject: Animal Languages

Birthday: March 19

Class: 3-C

Club: Fencing [does rsa have a fencing club. idk. they do now.]

Height: 175 cm

Hobby: Horseback Riding

Homeland: Shaftlands

Likes: Arts & Crafts, Shellfish

Dislikes: Keeping Secrets, Beets

Unique Magic: Unknown [I haven't decided one for him yet, and I may simply make him a late bloomer who hasn't discovered his yet lol]

Extra info:

Favorite Stones: Pink Opal & Chrysoberyl

Older Cousin to Dañarte

Long-lost childhood friend + new love interest to Cater

Source Character: Prince Charming from Cinderella

Second guy: Dañarte*

Age: 17

Best Subject: Ancient Magic

Birthday: February 13

Class: 2-C

Club: Equestrian Club

Height: 182 cm

Hobby: Writing Speeches

Homeland: Shaftlands

Likes: Planning, Grain bowls

Dislikes: Tenderhearted people, Undercooked meat

Unique Magic: Kiss of Frost: He kisses something or someone and temporarily freezes them ICY STYLE!!!!! or something like that. idk it doesn't kill people[???? maybe it could. idk.] but it don't feel good. Perhaps the area of frost can vary as well, like a small smooch spot vs spreading through the whole body? We gotta workshop it a bit more I'll get back to u on that someday. maybe.

Extra info:

Favorite Stone: Apatite

Char's younger cousin

"Love interest" to Cater + later on, Jamil...

Source Character: Hans from Frozen

RSA -> NRC -> Scarabia [He gets expelled and/or leaves RSA for whatever reason, I still haven't come up w/that part LOL... and ends up at NRC post breakup with Cater and gets sorted into Scarabia.]

* Disclaimer bc I feel the need to point out whenever I bring him up about his name lol- Dañarte isn't truly a name, it's just a spanish verb that's like "to hurt you". his character literally spawned from a convo I was having with a friend when I was trying to think of a name for Char, and something I said got autocorrected to Dañarte, and we made jokes about an evil princely character... so he became his own thing and I just kept that as his name lol.

anyway. i like talking about them but i also get shy and embarrassed about it klfjslfjks. also i probs did not draw them to scale bc life is hard. so are colors. i went very basic bc im scared but im trying to remember how colors work again in our year 2024 or whatever. WAHOO FUNNY LITTLE GUYS!!!!

shoutout to op of this template [@unfinished-projects-galore] making me sit here and consider the lives of these boys a lil more w/that bio layout. i was tempted to put summoning as Char's best class but WHAT do they summon. tell me idia what does that MEAN - jk it's probably like how juice bb summons cauldrons lol. I also considered Potionology for Dañarte but I think he'd like stuff like history and all that jazz and older [perhaps FORBIDDEN] ways of doing things.

[dualitysdownfall]

fic sketch: empress feferi

maybe i'll get into the habit of posting these... basically the writing equivalent of sketches: an incomplete piece, for practice and exploration, that i don't intend to do more with.

here is one from a few months ago that i expanded on a little just now. basically a non-sburb, feferi becoming empress moment. she'd be 9 sweeps or so here (19.5 years)

part of the reason i didn't want to expand on it is that i had a fuller fic idea that basically boils down to empress feferi, but set in an au, and the few things i might want to explore in a standard alternia "empress fef" story are things i would also want to explore in that one. so, rather than write the same story twice in different flavors, i just popped out this little sketch (which is related to my feferi drawing for the bloodlines zine)

read below:

(warning for violence, blood, and death.)

Gasping for breath, you scan her body for a way to stun her. The duration of the fight is getting to both of you now, and she's beginning to stumble, out of both exhaustion and fury. She growls at you, a rough, low sound that sends a reflexive shock through your veins. But you don't freeze in place. You can't afford to.

Finally, you catch it. She steps forward and falters, just a little. This is your moment. You stomp your foot down in front of her, hooking it around her ankle so she can't escape. She hisses at you in rage, which means she isn't attacking yet! She couldn't have given you a better opportunity if you asked her to! You pull your trident back and THRUST.

The sound of gushing blood amidst her ragged, desperate breaths is horrifying and putrid. You can't bring yourself to look until you hear the heavy thud of an adult body falling limp to the floor.

A literal bell tolls. It's so massive you can feel the vibrations through every bone in your body.

From the loudspeakers in the ceiling comes a voice you don't recognize that announces, "Citizens of the Alternian Empire, all hail your new ruler, Empress Feferi Peixes."

The words "Empress Feferi Peixes" ring out throughout the room, throughout the building, throughout the planet, throughout the universe. A universe that is yours to inherit, now. It's yours. Every planet Alternian forces have claimed, every ship, every troll has to answer to you, as of fifteen seconds ago.

You feel like you can't breathe.

You always knew one day you would make it here, and hopefully do exactly what you've just done. It comes with the blood, you see; you were destined for this.

You were destined for it, someday. But you certainly didn't expect it to be today. You aren't prepared. Your reform plans are incomplete, and your friends and your thoughts alike are scattered like fallen leaves in a gale. Whenever you thought about this moment, you expected that you would have more time, that you would have backup when the time came. All you can think, as you stare blankly at the mutilated, lifeless form of your own ancestor, at the golden crown with your sign on it that is now yours to claim, is that you are not ready to bear the weight of the universe on your shoulders.

Yet that weight comes crashing down on you regardless, as your name reverberates throughout this hall and beyond (oh god you haven't even come up with an adult title), and the realization of the gargantuan, galactic scale of your responsiblity is suffocating. Numbers so big your mind can't comprehend them swim through your mind, and behind each one is an entire life, an entire person. Friend groups and communities and cities and continents, and it's your job to take care of them all. Even now, you can hear the voices of the onlookers--your subjects!--trying to speak to you as their new ruler: lowbloods begging you for mercy, highbloods derisively comparing you to your ancestor, children fearfully asking if everything is going to be okay now.

You hope it will be. That's all you can do right now.

Desperately urging yourself not to cry you will NOT have that be your first impression as empress you will NOT--you heave yourself to your feet using your trident to pull yourself up. It's still dripping with fuchsia blood, a color you've rarely ever seen, and now it's everywhere, pooling in the punctures you yourself put into your ancestor's torso and spreading across the polished floor.

Breathing shakily, hands trembling, you gaze out to the sea of faces waiting expectantly for their leader to say something. You open your mouth, then hesitate. God you wish you had someone here to help you. Or at least some prepared lines.

"People of Alternia…" you begin, begging your mind to produce more words any words no not just any words you can't sound like an idiot right now, "for too long our species has been divided, and we were taught to reinforce those divides with hatred and violence. My goal as empress is to unite trollkind as equals and create a world--a universe--that shows generosity to the disadvantaged, that doesn't treat differences in color or appearance with violence and disgust, but with care and kindness. We have a long way to sail before this is achieved, but I believe it is possible. We will not be defined by anger and hate."

When you fall silent once more, the crowd erupts into a mix of grateful cheering and uproarious protests. It's no surprise where the latter sounds like it's coming from. You try to ignore them. They won't change their minds immediately, you've always known that much. It will take time. But you swear, you will make things better no matter how long it takes.

As the noise from the crowd begins to settle, you look to the lone attendant who stood by during your battle, some servant of your ancestor's and you suppose now they serve you. When you make eye contact with them, they jump a little, like they weren't expecting such concentrated attention from you and are decently certain that having it isn't a good thing. It takes a second for them to realize your expression is not a death glare, it's a plea for help. Slowly but steadily they approach you and offer their hand to guide you out of this chamber to somewhere private. You were decently roughed up in the fight yourself, your legs scraped and bleeding through the tears in your leggings. You use your trident as a walking stick, sending a heavy, rhythmic, metallic clunking sound down the hall.

[allforafro]

Having read various opinions over the years I've spent in the fandom from afar and in the wake of the 60th anniversary and the reinstatement of RTD, I decided to write my opinion on a few things in Doctor Who

At the outset, I prefer to point out that I have not watched classic who, and new who I have only watched three seasons and a few episodes from each of the later doctor

Doctor Who is a good, fun series but it didn't draw me in enough to want to watch it in its entirety maybe someday I'll keep watching but for now it didn't thrill me

After watching most of the RTD era and knowing spoilers from special episodes and seeing some information about 15th Doctor, I find that it can be nostalgic. this in itself is not bad, a large part of television is based on this, these days especially. But maybe I will be positively surprised as I was with the 13th Doctor.

Since we are already at 13 doctor I have to say that I personally think it would have worked out for the better for the series if 13 doctor was not a continuation

I don't like 12th Doctor

The 11th Doctor could be, I think if I watched it all the episodes one by one I might like it

The 10th Doctor is…let me put it this way I like him but I changed my mind while watching and my favorite doctor got 9th Doctor

I like tenrose but the second season had more episodes that I didn't like than the first, even if the first was worse in terms of execution than the second. ninerose dynamics more to my liking than tenrose

I haven't watched season 4 donna seems like a nice character but I doubt I won't change my mind season 3 will be my favorite of the whole rtd era

this season has a lot of flaws, a lot of people have written about it probably better than I would write but I'll just comment that the ending of The last of the time lords was like TV magic than a well-written ending. I say this even though I like the episodes with the master

this series has better and worse moments like most long-running series but it's even good to watch

I don't know how to end it because I don't even know what I wanted to achieve by writing this, I guess other than to share some of my opinions

so thanks for getting to the end