#maybe just if they were experiments like Sebastian?

[dsireland86]

Requesting Noah x reader where the reader experiences post partum depression after giving birth to their newborn baby girl.

Post partum depression is no joke and something so many women, including myself, have had to deal with. I wish it on no new mom. But, when you have a good partner who supports you entirely, it makes all the difference🥰

PostPartum

Tag list:

@philomenie @supersquirrel1996 @foliosgirl @angelmarie89 @fadingintothegrey @thisbicc @lma1986 @dominuslunae @shayzillaaaa @mrsnoahsebastian @flowery-mess @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @stardustsirenmelody @romanreigns-supreme @anything-more-than-human

@into-the-grey @rumoured-whispers @myownthoughts12 @sister-sebastian @nyxthedestroyerofworlds-deactiv @missduffsblog @bngurngheart  @somebodyllelse @xxkittenkissesxx @fadingangelwisp @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard

I held her in my arms like she was the most valuable thing in the world. To me she was. She was my daughter. She was the best part of me and her mother put together, a treasure created out of pure love.

I looked over at my wife, watching as she delivered the remaining proof of her pregnancy, feeling nothing but pride and respect for her. What I had just witnessed in the last thirteen hours was nothing short of an absolute miracle.

I had no idea how difficult it was for a woman to give birth until now. The strength and resilience I saw in her made me see her and all women in a whole new light. It was an indescribable yet incredible feeling.

She looked up at me, smiling her beautiful yet exhausted smile. She looked completely different now; she was a mother. I grinned back, offering her our daughter and gently laid her on her chest when she said yes.

"Noah, she has your nose and your eyes," my wife gushed, kissing our little girl's rosy forehead.

"She really does, doesn't she?" I marveled, unable to hide my grin. I kissed my wife's forehead, praising her over and over for what she went through for us. I had what I'd always wanted. I had my family.

Days after we came home were a struggle. The nights were sleepless, the days exhausting. The constant feeding and changing diapers was a lot of work I wasn't prepared for. But neither was my wife.

She started crying more than usual. At first, it was simple little tears, but then there were days where those tears lingered all day and sometimes into the night, too. They would lead into spurts of her doubting her ability to be a mother and caring for our baby the way she needed to be cared for.

That's when she would say things like, "Our daughter does better when I'm not around. Maybe it's for the best", or "I just want to disappear. All of this is too much."

I knew she was exhausted, not mentally prepared for any of this, so I did my best to help take the burden off her shoulders, hoping it would help. Sometimes it did, but most of the time I think it only made things worse.

A few weeks went by, and things began to mellow out some; with our daughter at least. We got into a routine and a schedule of sleep, making the nights more bearable.

But my wife would still have her spouts of irritability, sometimes waking up and starting things for no reason. It was usually over little things like dishes or clothes, but then it started to become bigger. She accused me of not being home enough and not helping out enough which would always end with her falling apart and crying again. It broke me.

I didn't know what to do, except hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay, even though I wasn't so sure.

I would watch her during feedings and how she seemed distant from our baby, looking away, never making that mother to baby eye contact I read about in the "What to Expect When Your Wife is Expanding" book Jolly bought me for my first "father's day". She was physically there, but not mentally.

Days after our daughter turned a month old, I came home to find her sitting on the couch in the living room, staring into nothing. She had the most distant spaced out look on her face, her eyes completely void of anything.

"Baby, are you alright?" I gently shook her. She finally snapped out of whatever daze she was in, shaking her head.

"Noah," smiling weakly at me.

"Baby, I'm really worried about you. You're not looking or acting like yourself," I finally admitted to her.

"I feel okay," she said weakly.

"When was the last time you ate?" I brushed some loose hair out of her eyes, running my hand down her cheek.

She thought for a moment then shrugged.

"Come on, I sighed, taking her hand and pulling her towards the kitchen. That's when the baby monitor went off, signaling our little girl was awake.

"Why don't you go get her, and I'll make us something to eat." My wife shook her head.

"No, you get her. She wants her daddy."

Letting go of my hand she made her way into the kitchen, leaving me in a bit of shock. I thought this was the worst of it, but I didn't know how much worse it could get.

Sex was out of the question. Not just for the first six weeks of course, but even past that. She closed herself off to me, not wanting me to touch her or be around her. It got to the point that she was sleeping on the couch and whenever I came into the room she would leave. I didn't understand any of it.

I eventually had to stay home from the studio and recording with the guys, having everyone bring everything to my house because I was too scared to leave her and the baby alone. Something was off with my wife, and I couldn't figure it out. I was taking it personally, thinking that the end of us had come and what was meant to be the happiest time in our lives was now becoming the hardest and most hurtful. I was done. I couldn't go through with it anymore.

One night, after our little one fell asleep after her feeding, my wife laid her in her bassinet then turned to leave the room.

"Don't leave. Please. Just stay with me for a minute," I asked, trying not to sound too desperate.

She turned and looked at me with tears in her eyes.

All the color was gone from her beautiful face, her complexion dull. Her hair, normally shiny and in her wavy ponytail, was unkept, piled high on the top of her head in a messy bun. Her sleep clothes were the same ones she'd worn for almost a week.

This was nothing but a shell of my wife and it killed me seeing her this way.

"Come sit with me, baby, please," patting the bed next to me. At first she hesitated, but then, surprisingly, she came and partially sat on the bed.

I tucked her hair behind her ear, smiling at her when she looked at me so sadly. I leaned in to kiss her, slowly so as to not startle her, and felt relieved when she kissed me back. Her hands found the back of my neck, twisting the longer pieces of hair at the nape of it. Her touch sent shivers down my spine. I was longing for her in ways I didn't even realize.

"I miss you," I confessed, placing my forehead to hers and holding her head between my hands.

"I know," she sniffed and I wiped away the tears that slid down her cheeks with the pads of my thumbs.

"I miss you, too, Noah."

"Then talk to me," I whispered, "tell me what you're feeling. Even if you can't make sense out of it. Just tell me anyway. I'll listen."

And she did.

I ran a hot bubble bath and for the first time in months I held my wife's beautiful naked body against mine, listening as she told me everything she had been going through.

I washed her hair, scrubbed her back, and helped her shave her legs, and in return, she gave me the best sex I'd had in a while.

Watching her face as she came on my cock buried up inside her made me cum, the feeling taking us both to a higher place we hadn't been in a while. It was euphoric.

Once out of the bath and fully dressed, she checked on our little angel still fast asleep, and for the first time since we brought her home, I watched the brightest, sweetest smile grace my wife's face as she looked down on her. It made my heart swell with joy.

We discovered that night, after some slight research that what she was experiencing was called postpartum depression.

It's something most new mother's get, some more extreme than others. We weren't throwing all our eggs into the basket of self diagnosis, but she promised to call her doctor the next morning and schedule an appointment.

Seven months old. Time flies when you're having fun. I watched my wife as she attempted to feed our angel sweet potatoes for the first time. Surprisingly, she liked them. A quarter of the jar later and we had a happy, sleepy little baby.

I cleaned her up and handed her to mama as she willingly and lovingly took her and cradled her just the way she liked it. With some warm milk, a soft blanket, and mama's arms, our little girl was out like a light.

My wife looked up at me, smiling brightly. She was herself again and there was no better feeling than to see her return. With a mild medication and a little therapy, postpartum depression slowly made its way out of our lives, restoring to me the woman I loved.

She apologized, over and over, time and time again, but I always reminded her there was nothing to apologize for. None of it was ever her fault.

"Thank you for sticking it out with me, Noah. Thank you for not running away."

I took her hand and kissed it, rubbing her growing belly carrying baby Davis number two. Now that we knew what to mostly expect, this little gem would be easier to handle.

"For better or for worse, Princess. You've got me and them, forever."

[monayen]

idk if I requested this already or if I dreamt it? so sorry if you get this twice 💦

can you please sort the ivory household + satoru + the ratmen into categories that are sort of like "knows where the clit is", "knows about it but can’t find it" and "has no idea what it is"? thanx ❤️

➷ Paring - Multi x Fem!Reader [Randal's Friends / Ranfren]

➷ CWs - explicit afab reader, oral (f. recieving) / cunnilingus, fingering, slight sadism (from nyen)

a/n - might be too similar to the coochie eating headcannons but i find this funny so i will be doing it anyways. also im going to default using this banner when its group headcannons :0

- Knows where the clit is

Luther

Very knowledgeable! Studies human anatomy in depth to get to better know you. Books and webpages… but he knows that nothing compares to the thrill of hands-on experience

Lay down on a table and spread your legs for him while he sits before you. Luther will settle himself between your thighs, one large hand resting possessively on your lower belly, just above the apex of your sex. His his other hand delicately spreads your folds apart, watching for your sweet reactions as he thumbs your clit

Luther knows how precious and sensitive this part of you is, and he makes sure to handle you with the utmost reverence

Nyon

Is a generous and attentive lover – a through and through giver. So he has plenty of experience being down there

When Nyon kneels before you, his face buried between your parted thighs, he really is in his element

He doesn't like to tear his eyes away but even if his eyes were shut, he’d still be able to find your clit perfectly with a swipe of his tongue and a quiver of your thighs. Is humble, but he does take pride in it :)

Satoru

Obsessed with every little part of you. Any touch that has you squirming and moaning beneath him will forever be etched into his sentience. So discovering how rubbing your sensitive clit makes you writhe and arch so beautifully beneath him... it's practically a dream come true! (get it?)

Likes to think he teases, slowly tracing circles around your bud, building the tension until it's nearly unbearable. But his own desire quickly overwhelms him, and soon he's palm-fucking you with a frenzied intensity that leaves you breathless and clutching at the sheets

- Knows what it is but can't find it

Nyen

Maybe less of “can't find it” but more “doesn't touch it” So mean!

Nyen is well aware of how sensitive your clit is, and being the sadistic creature he is, he takes great pleasure in denying you the satisfaction of having it touched. Even when he does allow himself to make contact, Nyen uses his sharp nails to send jolts of painful pleasure coursing through your body

Knows that denying you the bliss of rubbing your aching clit means that you'll be writhing in agony, pleading for any type of release. Pathetic and perfect, just for him

Sebastian

We know he has little experience. Even seeing a pussy for the first time made him so red that you were worried he was going to pass out

Still at least knows about the clitrous though, he's not clueless – just inexperienced. Does it mean he can find it without some assistance? No. But he’ll nervously spread you open as he rubs along your entrance in an attempt to elicit some type of reaction

Too awkward to ask you what he's doing wrong, so unless you’re kind enough to show him… get ready for a lot of trial and error. Kind of endearing

- No idea what it is

All the Ratman

Obvious. They just know it feels good when they sink their dicks into your hole – really good. Foreplay is a foreign concept to them, their minds just set on the singular desire to rut and breed

Micheal and Robert have more of the mind to listen to you when you talk about your clit. Micheal is incredibly eager to please, burying his face between your thighs as his tongue laps sloppily at your tender bud (with heavy guidance, of course) He just loves how you clasp your thighs around his head!

Robert is the one who notices how your walls tighten and flutter around his fingers when he grazes your clit. He commits this to memory, hand sloppily rubbing against your clit as he thrusts into you. Only then the other ratman feel how you twitch around Robert’s cock do they really learn to pleasure you there

Randal

Should definitely know what the clit is – considering he canonically watches hentai. Not the best reference for sexual knowledge… but if he stopped staring at tits, he might have picked up that rubbing there would feel good for you

In his mind, the sole purpose of the clitoris is to provide a source of amusement, perhaps by flicking it with his tongue or pinching it between his fingers until you squirm and whine

You can try to guide him to touch it properly, but he has no idea how to use the knowledge to bring you any real pleasure. His touches are clumsy and insensitive, and he doesn't take anything seriously enough to not want to immediately put his cock in you. Best you’ll get is some overstimulation, baby!

[newts-and-sharks]

Blitz the Viperfish has joined the Gang

Pinkie the beloved from the hit Roblox game Pressure

[obbystars]

When Light Fades

Synopsis: To strive for immortality has severe consequences.

Notes: Sebastian Solace x GN!Reader / Reader is a subject for Urbanshade / Spoilers for Sebastian’s backstory / Experimental deaths + limbs being cut off / Takes place before the events of Pressure and leads up to it / Hadal Blacksite Lockdown event (Gunfire + death) / Cursing

Credits: dividers by @cafekitsune

(Saw a few fics of a reader who was an experiment like Sebastian here, so I decided to cook up my own. Well- This was just gonna be an idea, but as I was making this, the update came out and I felt more inspired and decided to try my hand at how the lockdown went…kinda. I’m actually really proud of this one.)

A new subject had arrived a few days ago. They moved him right next to your cell, and he looked to be around your age. You spotted the number on his shirt. “Z-13.” He mostly minded his own business and you did as well, but it’s been so long since you’ve spoken to someone else. So finally, you tapped on the window that separated you to get his attention.

At first, he wasn’t interested in talking to you but he soon started to come around and (try to) listen to you. The window muffled your voice, and he couldn’t catch your name. You couldn’t either, so in your head, you only called him Z-13. Maybe he did the same with your own number.

It was strange. Despite the complications of communicating to each other properly, sitting by the window with him was oddly comforting. You wondered if he felt the same as he leaned on the window. To him, you were always smiling when your eyes met. It was like you weren’t bothered by the situation at all, or maybe it was a mask to hide your fear. Maybe it was meant to comfort him as you were here before him. Maybe you knew what was coming, and you wanted to tell him to not be afraid.

Z-13 sometimes spotted you in the corner of your cell with a saddened look on your face. Sometimes it looked like you were about to cry. He wondered what happened that led you here. Was it the same reason as him? Were you robbed of your future just like he was?

Eventually, you were taken out of your cell and Z-13 watched you leave but not without giving him a smile and waving to him. He slowly lifted up his hand and slightly waved as you left your cell with a few people in white lab coats who were accompanied by two guards.

You were gone for a few hours and Z-13 had almost fallen asleep until he heard a gentle knock. You still had that same smile as you looked at him. For a moment, he smiled too.

Two days after you were placed back into your cell, you began to lose your vision. It was getting dark and blurry. You couldn’t see Z-13’s face anymore. By the seventh day, your vision had completely faded. Despite this, you somehow knew when the lights were on and when they were off. It wasn’t because of the faint click you could hear sometimes, you just knew. You can even sense a few people nearby. Z-13 was among one of them and was the closest, meanwhile the others were a bit further away. You can sense one roaming the halls as well.

You can even feel Z-13’s gaze on you. You wondered if he gradually noticed your change.

You had a few more tests the week after, and by the third week, you lost all feeling in your arms and legs. You can’t move them, you can’t feel if someone had touched them, nothing. The researchers had to drag you up into a wheelchair every time they needed you for another test. They even had to feed you as you couldn’t do it yourself.

You can feel eyes on you once again. Was it Z-13 looking at you? You hear faint banging and a faint voice. He must’ve noticed how you haven’t moved at all for a few hours and was trying to get your attention. You turned your head towards the general direction of the noise, and the banging stopped. He says something, but you don’t quite understand. You wish you can hear him more clearly.

You sense a few people approaching and hear your cell door open. Their footsteps get louder and they discuss something amongst themselves. One of them is really close to you.

“Can you feel me here?” They would ask.

You shook your head.

“How about here?”

No.

“Here?”

Nothing.

You only feel cold. You feel so cold. Were you dying? Is this what death feels like?

The person stands up and steps away. You hear them exchange a few words. Another one approaches you.

“Can you see us?”

No. You suddenly hear a click.

“Can you see this light?”

You nodded. Nothing else was said as you hear them leave, though they remained outside your cell for a while before walking away. You faintly hear Z-13 call out your number, at least you think he did.

…What was your number again? Why can’t you remember…

One day, Z-13 watched them take your body and leave without much discussion. A few hours went by. Hours turned into days, then into weeks, then into months. You never returned. The room was left empty and the lights inside the cell had turned off. Soon enough, it was his turn. Seeing only a glimpse of what you had to endure, he was afraid. He didn’t know if you were in pain as you never showed it, but he saw how the light in your eyes faded.

Z-13 suffered the effects of the experiments done to him alone.

Ten long years had passed since then. Z-13’s body had reformed into a mix of an anglerfish, a blue whale, great white shark, sea snake, silver spinyfin, mantis shrimp, and an extra unknown creature. He got what Urbanshade wanted, but he was a deemed a failure because of what he became. He was able to breathe underwater just like they wanted, but he was just some thing, some monster they created. He could barely look at his own reflection.

He’d overhear a guardsman talking and an idea suddenly comes to him. Once he was in the place he needed to be, he did not hesitate to act on it. Ten long, torturous years… Maybe he could finally be free if all things go according to plan.

He pretended to fall under the effects of the anesthesia and remained still for a while until the time was right. He was left unguarded. He wakes up and cautiously checks around, spotting only one guardsman.

Swift, yet still painful. It was the least they deserved. He quickly checked their body for something, anything that could open the locked doors and finds a keycard. Perfect. He grinned, quietly “thanking” Urbanshade for increasing his rank to MR-P. He knows where those creatures are being kept in. He’ll hold onto the shotgun as well.

With the keycard, he opened and freed as many as he possibly could before the guardsmen eventually surround him. Chaos would spread around the facility rapidly as the creatures relentlessly slaughtered those who got too close, who were in the way, or who had angered them for what they did to them. For locking them up for their sick experiments.

It didn’t take long for Z-13 to be identified and tracked down by other guardsmen. Once he emerged from the water, there was already a squad ready to greet him. He growled, wanting a taste of sweet revenge. He was already aware he can pack a punch thanks to the mantis shrimp DNA.

He was suddenly hit with the flash of a bright light. He covered his eyes as he yelled in pain.

“Arghhh!! You-!!” He almost fell back but he quickly caught himself. He got a quick glimpse of the one responsible for that flash. Without hesitating, he aimed his gun to them and pulled the trigger, “Piece of shit!!”

The blood splattered onto the floor and walls. Before his eyes could fully readjust and could pull the trigger again, he felt a few bullets pierce through one of his arms and some in his shoulder. He dropped the shotgun as he fell into the water where he emerged from, immediately swimming to cover as they shot into the water. He was lucky enough they missed.

He cursed, gripping his bleeding arm. He’ll leave a trail like this. He needs to move. It was hard to understand what the guardsmen above were saying, but no doubt it was further orders to follow and hunt him down. Right, after the results of his experimentation, it was later refined into a much more desired state. Majority if not all of the guardsmen now can breathe underwater.

He huffs, making up his mind and swimming away to find a safer place and hopefully something to patch up his wounds. With his uninjured arm, he manages to punch a path through in an attempt to escape them.

He looks back occasionally and listens for anything coming before continuing to wherever the path is taking him. He finally finds an opening and cautiously emerges from the water. It was quiet, mostly. There’s some distant noises, but they don’t sound like guardsmen. Once confirming it was clear, he climbs out. He hisses again, gripping the arm that was shot.

One way would potentially lead to more company, while the other leads further into the facility. An area that’s been cleared out already, so that’s where he heads to. The halls were empty. He can’t hear anything close by. There has to be something he can use here, something they left behind. Searching through every drawer and every room he could get into, sometimes even knocking down a door, he found everything but a medical kit. He kept some of the things he found though, like another gun he found and a flashlight.

He comes across a hallway he never often passed by. There was one unlocked room and the door opens upon detecting his presence. Some of the lights were knocked out already, but the glow from the tube in the other side of the room was still on. It was another containment cell for a creature they captured, one he doesn’t remember. He crawled his way inside and the door shuts behind him. His anglerfish lure blinks on as he gently pulls on it.

On one of the desks, he spots a medical kit and wasted no time to disinfect and wrap up his wounds. Then he notices a document that was left on the desk beside it. His ear-fins twitched as he glanced to the tube then back to the document. Curiosity eventually got the better of him and he opens it. His eyes widen once he sees a picture of you inside and some information.

Z-8. [First Name] [Last Name].

A subject used for an experiment to achieve immortality with the turritopsis dohrnii, otherwise known as the immortal jellyfish, as well as regenerative abilities of an octopus. Z-8 went through a series of “deaths” to study how the resurrection worked, but it turned out to be very similar to the actual jellyfish itself. They’d cut off limbs while the subject was still awake to study the regenerative abilities, and due to their poor execution, the subject had died to blood loss during some of those procedures. Still, the limbs grew back and immortality was achieved along with the ability to swim and breathe underwater, but the form the subject’s body took was undesirable and grotesque.

He looked up at the creature in the tube as he closed the document. This thing is you. A strange mix of a jellyfish and an octopus… But you’re still alive. Your loss of sight was due to your head forming into the hood of a jellyfish, almost appearing to be a veil, and the tentacles had stretched out from beneath it. Losing the feeling of your arms and legs were due to them forming into oral arms. Your torso leading up to your neck and stopping just above your mouth before it formed the hood.

He wants to get you out, but he’ll need to get you underwater. With the way your body had morphed, it wasn’t one to traverse easily on dry land. He’ll have to carry you as long as you don’t accidentally sting him. That’ll be a serious issue.

The card he has should have clearance to release you. Considering the part of the facility he’s in, there has to be a place big enough for you. One that leads outside too. Once the tube is drained and you descend to the bottom of the tube, it opens and he catches you before you fell onto the floor. The texture of your skin now made it a bit difficult to keep a grip on you but he managed to find a way that wouldn’t allow you to slip.

It doesn’t take too long for him to find a hall with its ceiling collapsed and its floor leaving a hole that leads into the floor below. That room was filled to the brim with water, and no doubt the next few rooms were to be as well. One of those rooms has to have broken off, leaving an opening to escape the facility. He carefully sets you down into the water but gets startled when you suddenly gasp and panic, wiggling out of his grasp. This caused him to drop you and splash into the water.

“H-Hey! Wait!!” He calls.

The waters settles for a bit until it bubbled and you reemerge from the water. You didn’t exactly look up at him until you sensed his light. This was the first time he gets to talk to you without a glass between you two. With how your body is now, however, he won’t be too surprised if you lost your voice as well.

“[Name], right?”

You nodded. Part of him was relieved your memory was still intact, so he continued with a smile. One he hoped you could sense in his voice.

“I’m sure you probably know me as “Z-13.” You and I were placed in cells beside each other?”

You nodded again.

“My name is Sebastian,”

Beneath the hood, he saw you smile, “H..Hello… Sebastian,”

You still had your voice.

I don’t think you guys know how happy I am with how this turned out. I don’t know why but I do really like this one.

I might end up using this concept for an OC if I’m being honest…

[pressureplus]

Could I ask for the prompt of you being a former friend/lover of Sebastian's from the surface when he was still human, becoming an EXR-P and meeting him again for the first time? I think it could be either super wholesome or super angsty lmao,,

-⭕️

Oh, you know I just love angst, thank you for the prompt! May have run a bit wild with it, apologies for that!

Hiraeth

Pairing: Sebastian Solace x GN!Reader

Au: Classic

Warnings: Angst, Romance

◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟ ◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟

How many times had you run through these halls, desperately searching for a safe place to rest? The echo of water droplets hitting the ground from your soaked suit. You'd heard whispers, muffled between EXR-P’s like yourself. A few little tales of a shopkeeper all the way down here. A man by the name of Sebastian, some kind of experiment gone feral. A part of you was admittedly a little frightened by the idea of him, but from the moment you heard his voice over the intercom, you knew you had to find him. You knew only one man with a voice like that, that little chuckle that you'd heard a thousand times over. It played in your head on repeat and it hasn't stopped in years. Perhaps it was wishful thinking, but you could dream, couldn't you?

The man you’d been in love with had been sentenced to death so many years ago now, the case details are blurry. You'd tried to be in court that day and you had. You vouched for his innocence, for his protection. He’d been with you that night. Honestly? It didn't seem to matter. They didn't care what you had to say under oath or not. Who cared if the love of your life was sentenced to death? Surely not the lawyers, the judges, the jury, or the onlookers... All of them would be able to carry on with their lives as though nothing had happened, but you? You wouldn't. You couldn't. You’d screamed that day when they took him in cuffs, when your pleas for his safety had been ignored. He didn't seem to resist, nor did he fight back. He’d only smiled at you. A little one that was a bit more solemn than the others you'd received. Much duller than the one you'd fallen in love with. Who were they to dull his light? Who were they to take him from you?

When he was killed, put down like some kind of animal, it was like the sun had fallen from the sky. For a while you'd wandered aimlessly, grieving the loss of your love, and no one had seemed to care. Those that reached out did so half-heartedly. The amount of reprimanding you got for grieving a man they claimed to be a murderer broke you down. It changed you. Something about watching the world around you turn their backs to your grief, rejecting the idea of his innocence even in death. It drove you nearly crazy. Now, after all this time, you're here. Here, in the Hadal Blacksight under Urbanshades care, you had a chance of seeing him. Maybe it wasn't a particularly good chance, but a chance nonetheless.

As you finally looked around the inside of his shop, out of breath from having crawled through an already open vent, you were greeted with items. A document on the counter, batteries, a radio and keycard. All sorts of spare items on shelves and an empty black doorway. There was no shopkeeper here, and it only left you confused. That was until you heard shifting in the backroom. Was he storing things? Replenishing his supply? Did it matter? Now was the time and god the way your heart raced in your chest left you almost shaking. Was it going to be him? You shouldn't get your hopes up, right? After a few more moments of silence, you gathered your courage to speak, stepping a little closer to the dark doorway.

“Hello?” You attempted to call out for him, or more so anyone in that back room. You were greeted with a softer, smoother voice.

“What are you doing here?” You freeze immediately, little tears in your eyes. The voice you were so attached to for so long, the one you'd missed, the one you'd fallen in love with. Of course his voice was a bit deeper than you'd last heard it, but oh so familiar.

“Sebastian? Is that really you? You're alive- tell me you're alive and that I've not finally lost my mind.”

“I'm alive. Barely.”

“Sebastian, I've missed you so much. I thought I'd lost you forever- I am so, so sorry that I couldn't do more. I-” You attempt to step closer towards the door, only to be met with aggression. A loud almost barking noise as his voice picks up in volume.

“Don't- Don't come any closer.”

“Its been nearly a decade since I've last seen you, come on-”

“You don't want to see me.”

“What? Sebastian, of course I want to see you.”

“No, no you don't. You don't want to see me now, its better if you think of me as dead. I'm warning you.”

“It can't be that bad-”

“Back up.” He huffs as you take another step forward, almost at the doorframe now.

“No, no I'm not backing up. I have waited to see you for years and no amount of being nervous is going to stop me.”

“Back. Up.” His voice drops even lower, more like a hiss than words as you finally get to the doorway.

“Sebastian, I'm not backing up. I-”

“I said BACK UP!” The voice you're greeted with hold power unlike anything you've heard from a human before. A snarl and a growl, echoing oddly in his throat as his face comes out of the darkness. A monster and not a man. Something entirely unrecognizable as your lover apart from his voice, something that looks closer to the anglers here than anything else. His glistening teeth bared as though he was going to snap and rip into you at any moment. His eyes filled with anger unrivaled.

“Wh…What are you?” Those words seemed to sink in deep, hitting him in all his most sensitive places. An attack directly on his heart. You watch the rage turn into hurt, melting into regret before he dipped back inside the dark room. A bit of shuffling heard.

“Are you happy now? You've seen enough. I didn't want it to come to this, okay? Please just…go away. I can't bear to look at you like this. Your expression is too much for me.”

“Wait- wait I'm sorry I just- you shocked me is all. Sebastian please-” You try to soften your approach as the shock and fear fade away.

“Don't say my name so sweetly, like you didn't just get scared of my face. And what about the rest of me? What will you think of what they made me? If my face scares you that much you won't want to see the rest.”

“Sebastian, please. I have loved you for years, since way before all of this. Even after you died I never stopped loving you. I was a little scared, yes, but its you, isn't it? It's still my Sebastian in that body. No matter what you look like now.” He hesitated for a moment. A long beat of silence, heartbeat rapid in your panic to not let him leave you again. All at once a massive clawed hand juts out of the darkness and pulls you in. You're tugged up into a set of arms, a third coming up under your thighs to function like a chain. The glow of his eyes on the darkness is unsettling for only a moment as he dips down to muzzle into your neck.

“Don't…Don't say things like that unless you mean them.”

“Sebastian.” You say it softly, arms wrapped around his neck.

“I still love you…its okay. All of you, even if its new and different. Its just gonna take a little getting used to. You can be patient for me, can't you?” He nods against your neck, holding you desperately. Enough for those claws to sink into your skin and draw blood, but neither of you seem to care. Here, even if its only for a moment, Sebastian has a piece of home again.

[stick2vamp]

Slides in the request box.

May I request for a doomed found family Sebastian & teen!reader :]…like the reader got oofed by one of them entities and Sebastian found them on the ground, dead.

If it’s too angsty then maybe teen!reader is still alive, just heavily injured and Sebastian helps them and became more protective after teen!reader nearly died.

𝜗 ˖ ❝ the end, once more. ᵕ ♡

— in which sebastian has seen the appearance of death multiple times, but can barely fathom your death when it comes too. ✧

↷　 433 wc 𓈒 sfw 𓈒 PLATONIC 𓈒 drabble 𓈒 angst 𓈒 major character death 𓈒 minor violence 𓈒 minor sebastian backstory spoilers 𓈒 hurt no comfort ✧ AGAIN. MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH AND MINOR VIOLENCE.

SEBASTIAN Solace.

Tried and found guilty in 2013.

You.

Tried and found guilty in 20xx.

Both of you were sentenced to death before you even reached 21. Both of you were sentenced to die in prison before you could even live your adult lives. Both of you would never be able to experience life normally.

And that's why he liked you.

You were like a reflection of him.

The kid he never even had yet was next to him anyway.

Down in this filthy facility, you sat with him. Talked with him. As if the two of you were real family.

And in a way, you were. Maybe not by blood, but you two were the only ones who understood each other.

And despite his inhuman appearance, you never faltered in his sight. Never showed any fear.

Maybe that's why you were too comfortable and ended up getting yourself hurt. As soon as he heard your scream nearby, Sebastian dropped everything, and rushed over as quickly as he could.

Yet, with his tail dragging on the ground, he was no match for the speed of an angler. And as his tail hit the floor, your blood did too.

His claws scrambled to get a medkit from his tail, but he knew there was nothing a measly bandage could do for you now. If you even were still alive. As that thought crossed his mind, Sebastian scooped you up into his arms, cradling you close to him. Your heart was slow. Too slow. His breath hitched, eyes widening as he hugged you tighter. Your blood splattered onto his clothes.

He didn't even know if he could cry anymore, but he wanted to sob. For the first time since his experimentation, he felt unbearable anguish. His chest hurt, as if it had been him stabbed instead of you. As if he was bleeding out, instead of you.

And Sebastian wished it was him instead of you.

Sebastian lost himself a long time ago. He wasn't sure if he could bear losing you, too. Not when you were the one thing that made life down here enjoyable. Not when you were his reason for living.

Not when you were everything to him.

He curled into himself, wrapping his whole body around you as if that would somehow protect you. Yet, how could he protect you when he could not even arrive in time? When he let you leave? When he could feel your heart stop? He buried his head into your hair, your beautiful, beautiful hair—

Your hair dampened. Seems he could still cry after all.

[donutz]

Hey!

So I have an idea for Sebs.. what if you did (assuming you do small fics or Headcannons) Sebs feeling really down for whatever reason (could be because of his past n how he got experimented on and stuff) and he could be having nightmares or stuff and g/n reader tries to comfort him??

Sebastian getting comforted headcanons

Sebastian's jumpy and outbursting behavior doesn't go uncomforted!

— Spooky Urbanshade nightmares😱😱 Also don't worry, I LOVE doing headcanons😛

Warnings: Nightmares; Outbursts; 'Bad' words☹️; Sebastian knows Reader, they are very acquainted with each other; Very big trust between Reader and Sebastian, like A LOT; This is like a mix of headcanons and a fic; Crying; Headcanons for Z-13 and Sebastian

Visiting Sebastian once again, you get greeted with silence. You stood up dusting off your knees.

“Uhh, you good”?

He snaps out of his thoughts, unnoticeably flinching. To other people it would be hard to notice, but you did. Your eyebrows rose at that.

 “Uhm yes— My name is Sebastian”.

“... Yea I know”.

Sebastian realizes that it was you! Not some other prisoner. Oops.

“O-Oh! It’s you”...

“Mhm”.

That encounter kind of put you on the edge. Being more aware of Sebastian, especially how he’s feeling. He was very jumpy. At times seeming even pissed that you came to see him.

Before the negative behavior, he cracked jokes every time he knew you were there. Sometimes even sending over flirty(sounding) comments.

He seems out of it.

The more times he visited, the more hints he gave you that something was going on. His stutters, him grabbing his clothing or hair, staring off into oblivion.

Maybe you should talk to him. Or get him to open up. Does he even trust you that much?

Talk to him.

TALK to him.

TALK TO HIM.

“Hey Sebastian”?

Again, snapping out of his daze, he sweeps away a part of his side bangs. His two upper hands cupping each other, sweating? His other hand gripped the bottom of his jacket.

“Uh— Yes”..?

.

.

.

“Are you okay”?

Sebastian’s right claw grips his left claw even harder. His right claw scratched the backside of his left, leaving beads of blood to slowly appear.

His body stiffs, biting his inner lip. Eyes widening. A light shiver.

Silence.

A scowl grows on his face, looking away from you.

“Yes I’m just fine”.

He looks down, noticing his bleeding left claw.

He blinks rapidly, physically taken aback by what he’d done to his hand. He coughs into his arm from shock. He didn’t even notice.

… Do you really affect him that much?

He’s used to feel hurt, pain. Not comfort.

He hasn’t felt that in a long time. Comfort. From a human.

Looking back at his hand, he shakes. Shaky gasps, a shaking body, and shocking thoughts.

Don’t shake. Not in front of a human.

Don’t—

Don’t do that.

Don’t say it.

“Actually I’m—” Sigh

…

“I’m not okay”.

Z-13

He’s very surprised and somewhat disappointed in himself that he could trust a human this much

It takes 5 minutes of sitting in silence for him to open up

Just a test… Yes just a test to see if you’ll stay

That you won’t leave.

…

When he starts to speak, it comes out shaky, as if he wants to cry, you’ll have to get him to REALLY open up if you want that

It’s hard to express your feelings, especially when you’re so traumatized

He wouldn’t initiate physical affection first, you’d have to

He doesn’t want to seem weak

Right?

Opening up, he talks about these nightmares, remembering the feeling of those experiments

The shots, not of anesthesia, of DNA.

He needed to be awake during it all.

He’s surprised he was even alive after.

The painful days of morphing, the extra eye, his bulb, it all hurt.

Okay okay I’ll try to tone it down.

Instead of crying(In front of you) he throws his head into his hands, his third arm resting on the connected piece of his tail and his torso

You can hear his little gasps, and eventually gently hold his claws, slowly separating them from his face

He’s still looking down

You look down too, seeing his tears laying on his scales.

Looking back at him, you reassure—

“You can cry in front of me Sebastian, it’s okay”.

Placing his claws on his tail, you open up your arms.

“You want a hug”?

He looks back up at you letting out a lightly audible gasp, quickly pulling you into a hug, his claws nearly the size of your torso

‘Oh wow’.

He crosses claws over, so his arms are right up against your back. With his head laying on your shoulder.

He didn’t even know he could cry anymore.

Or sweat.

… Maybe he’s still a human?

You hug him back of course, your arms going under his top ones, rubbing his back.

He wraps his tail around the both of you, pulling you closer, letting you feel his cold breath.

After a few minutes you slowly sit down, because of his weight and having to stand up.

Sebastian slowly lets go, catching you off guard.

“Oh you don’t have to let go! We can—”

“No it’s fine, I actually just don’t want a hug anymore”.

“Oh”

“And my back hurts so yeah”.

He continues to talk about the pain, trauma, with his hands rubbing against each other

His palms are sweaty, somehow

You notice the blood on the back of his hand, and act out while listening. You take a medkit you bought while nodding, saying that you’re hearing his words.

He pauses.

“You— You’re gonna—”

“Heal you? Yeah, I’m still listening though”.

He continues to speak, really hoping that you’re actually listening

By the end of ‘spilling out his feelings’, his hand is bandaged, twinning with his third arm

A weight is off his back and he feels relieved

He really appreciates your comforting words, even the ones that weren’t comfort and showing that you were listening

He thinks it’s a miracle that he could’ve ever met a human like you

You’re special in his eyes

He might tear up again, not full on cry, but just dripping tears down his face

You’ll probably both end up sleeping on top of each other, somehow your gear not detonating, maybe it’s because of that scrambler on his back

Sebastian Solace

You wake up in the middle of the night, seeing Sebastian right across you.

He’s sweating, a lot.

You raise an eyebrow, wondering how he’s so sweaty.

Sebastian wakes up abruptly from your light tap, using his arms to pick himself up, scaring the hell out of you.

“AH”!

You flinch, really hard. It’s silent until you break it.

“You good?” You laugh

After realizing that nothing is going on, he lets his face fall back into his pillow while his arms go limp.

“Yeah,” He groans

…

“No, not really”.

You manage to soften him up a bit, to where he’s sitting in your lap, taller or not he’s still sitting there(He's 5'10)

He rests his head on top of yours, sighing

“You wanna talk now”?

“... Yeah”.

He speaks his mind, talking about having these dreams of being experimented on

But in very vague detail, as if this has happened

Or going to happen.

“And it scares me.. W- What if it actually happens”?!

“If you got framed for murder then I would become your own personal lawyer”.

“I’M SERIOUS”!

“So am I. If it happens I will search for you until the end of time, Solace”.

He looks at you, backing up from you, adjusting himself so he could directly look at you

How did he get so lucky

He hugs you as you lightly rock him side to side

“... I’m not a baby y’know”.

“Yea but I would think you’d want to be babied, Sebastian”.

You felt him get physically hotter from that

After a good 5-10 minutes of rocking, you hear small snores, saying that he’s asleep

You also feel small wet spots on your shoulder, damn, this really affected him huh?

You both laid back down, moving onto your sides as he cuddles up into your chest

He’s never really done this before

On nights like this he feels pretty vulnerable, and would really appreciate being the small spoon

But will NOT tell anybody

Not like he could

Small circles being rubbed on his back, sweet words, a few kisses and you got him wrapped around your finger

He likes to listen to your heartbeat, it shows that you’re alive, and a person

He can be really soft

ONLY at home

Now his nightmares are like losing you or something

A nice shower the morning after would be nice

I’d like to think that Sebastian isn’t really 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂, so he’s pretty chill and just hugging you from behind, his head on your shoulder

Of course, his lower half having some space from your bottom

“You want me to wash you too”? You joke

“... That wouldn’t be that bad actually." He 'jokes'.

He probably enjoys bath bombs, but doesn’t want to get in them

It might dye his weiner or something

He’d want to stay in bed the whole morning

By the way, Sebastian canonly has this big scar across his face, over his nose, just wanted to tell you

I hope I didn't make him seem like an uwu boi that needs protection☹️

[ciciyup]

Phantomhive manor (+ Gregory Violet) X Fem! Reader time traveler headcanons.

Summary: You are a time traveler and you have arrived in the Victorian era, how would you fare with certain characters if they met you?

━━━━━━✧ 🦢 ✧━━━━━━

Ciel Phantomhive

In one moment he was drinking his tea and enjoying his chocolate cake and the next Sebastian had arrived with you at his side. Everything about you seemed to confuse him, from your unusual and very inappropriate clothing to your casual and bland way of speaking.

At first, he only let you stay in his mansion so he could study you, for some reason you seemed to know more than him and even more than Sebastian, and the more time you spent there the more you seemed to confuse him with your strange ways.

The inappropriate clothes you were wearing seemed to not want to take them off while you complained that the corset and the amount of things in the dresses were uncomfortable, which made Ciel roll his eyes more than once, on top of that, in your comments you added that the clothes you were wearing were “the fashion” and “the trend” when Ciel only saw in them two pieces of fabric like a poorly covered window added, in his opinion, to your bad style.

The way you spoke was so strange, that way so casual and without any grace, but at the same time confusing to hear you say words that he had never heard before. He had bothered to look up those words himself in some books, but then he left the task to Sebastian, who soon informed him that those words did not exist... At least not in his time. On top of that, it seemed that you did not appear in any kind of paper that informed about your birth or other important things that should be in people as soon as they are born, which made Ciel stop taking it as a bad move and see the possibility that you really were a time traveler, since Sebastian had ruled out the possibility that you were some entity like a demon, angel or shinigami by not feeling any of that in you.

It was really surprising for him, he would not deny it, to see such a strange and at the same time so useful device. You called it 'cell phone'. It was surprising for Ciel to see a device that could take color photos, see himself on video moments before while doing something random and be able to watch it and replay it. The fact that music came out of that device surprised him quite a bit too, not only because of that, but because of the huge difference between the music of the future and that of his time, it had certainly been a big shock. Surprisingly, some of the songs you taught him he ended up liking, the ones with a soft and pleasant rhythm, and the fact that you put those 'headphones' you had shown him where the music could be heard better turned out to be a great experience.

He seemed to start to trust you more, your conversations were pleasant and you seemed to have a very different kind of thinking than he was used to seeing in people, it was nice in a way. You seemed to have a more open mind, more liberal, without prejudices or hypocrisy.

Maybe with you there Ciel could take advantage of certain things to have an advantage over his adversaries in the business and political sense, after all he was an earl and it was always good to be one step ahead of everyone, if it was three steps then it would be even better. Although he was always on guard and cautious while you seemed to tell him certain things, he took mental notes of what could happen or happen in the future if he didn't change something in the present. It was all very intelligent and strategic on his part.

Finding you had been a great important piece for his game and being aware of more things that he probably wouldn't get to see, but he was pleased to have been lucky enough to have you appear. He just wished you could stay a little longer to be able to appreciate a vision as different and at the same time as pleasant as yours.

Sebastian Michaelis

Surprise was to say the least. This human really had something. He felt curious? Fascinated? You were so strange, your way of seeing everything was so different. Sebastian felt surprised because you even surpassed him in subjects he didn't know about such as politics, future wars, economics. It was fascinating and perhaps also, in a way, a blow to his ego. Why did this human come out of nowhere with all the answers up her sleeve, in such a way that she managed to surpass him in knowledge? Still, Sebastian was an extremely intelligent being with centuries of experience, so even if you had advanced knowledge, he wouldn't feel intimidated. Instead, he would see this as an opportunity to learn and expand his own understanding.

While he lets you settle into the mansion at his master's request, as the days passed, he would soon bring out his sarcasm when he saw your attire and clothes, dropping some sarcastic comments, but always with a polite tone to sweeten.

Seeing the device in your hands and turning it on would surprise him at first, being somewhat impressed by the great advancement of humans in technology and since he is a very intelligent supernatural being, he would quickly learn to use the cell phone and any other device you had with you. He would even dare to take your phone with him secretly just to study it, sometimes to take pictures, videos and other times to listen to music, noticing the great change between one era and another. The photographs and videos would be what would attract his attention the most, enjoying filming some cat that appeared in the mansion and then watching it on the phone.

Despite enjoying certain things, Sebastian would evaluate if you represented a potential threat, being cautious, but without raising suspicions on you. He would always prioritize Ciel's safety so he would stay close to you for a certain amount of time, even if sometimes you wouldn't notice. Coming to the conclusion that you didn't seem to be dangerous or an enemy to Phantomhive, which made him become more friendly and even offered you hospitality while you stayed at the mansion.

He would take advantage of your advanced knowledge to improve efficiency and security at the mansion, as well as a chance to learn about humanity and how they had advanced so much over the centuries. He would come to enjoy the conversations if they interested him enough, you don't always meet a time traveler so he had to get something out of it, it was sure better than hearing anyone else talk about the same old topics.

You were different from what he was used to, clumsy, closed-minded and boring people who had nothing new to offer, but since you had arrived it seemed like you had awakened something in Sebastian that he hadn't felt for centuries. He hoped you would stay a little longer, it would be a shame if he had to go back to the same boring emotions.

Finnian

He was very excited about you, although at first he seemed confused, especially by your unusual clothing, his excitement made him see beyond. Seeing artifacts he had never seen before amazed him, his eyes shining as he took the first picture with so many colors and heard the music coming out of it. Surely asking you for your phone a few times so he could take lots of pictures of himself with big smiles and doing different things or anything in general that he found nice to capture, even leaving the phone without storage.

“Can I really talk to someone who is on the other side of the world right now?” Finny would ask you in surprise when hearing you explain about calls and messages. But surely the game apps would also keep him very entertained, especially the pet care and gardening games, spending so much time there that he would already know how to use most of the things. He seemed to be amused by the fact that you would randomly throw out words that he had never heard before, some of them amused him so much that he would keep them in his mind and would often repeat them, even while there were people there, causing them to look at him in confusion. His enthusiasm could be higher than the looks they usually gave him. Finny liked to learn new things and having met you would definitely continue to fascinate him even after days.

His face would light up as you explain to him the simplest thing for you it would be surprising for him like the fact that there was something called 'internet' or 'television' that made everything easier in everyday life like a blender, bed warmer, cars. Whatever you told him it seemed like the boy would explode with excitement.

He would definitely be mesmerized if you showed him series or movies, whatever was moving on the screen would surprise him, but if they were fantasy movies he would surely enjoy them more seeing the special effects and thinking about how everything looked so real. He would definitely like to know all the musical genres, especially the most lively ones, but at the same time with a pleasant rhythm, trying to imitate modern dances, laughing at his own clumsiness and certain dance steps that made him laugh.

It would be enriching for both of you to have met him. Finny enjoyed your company and everything he managed to learn at your side, but in addition to that he also liked to teach you about his own time by telling you first-hand details and even making you see certain things from a new perspective. Being with him was undoubtedly a breath of fresh air and both of you could have a new look at the world.

Snake

He would be mostly confused by your unusual way of speaking, puzzled by words you used to say at random and not have a specific meaning, it would be difficult for him to understand. Unlike what one would think, even though Snake is a very shy boy, he would not feel ashamed to see you in a different type of clothing or in lesser cloths, since having been in the circus before he lived with people with little clothing or more "revealing" clothing, so although it would still be somewhat surprising and embarrassing for Snake, it would not be on a large scale.

Seeing a phone, something that did not yet exist back then, would make him feel particularly intimidated and think that it is something dangerous, staying cautious while you show him the device. He would be surprised when you showed him videos and people or anything in general moving inside that small device, even his snakes could be attracted and watch while they communicate through Snake asking questions about the device.

What he might like the most would be snake documentaries and anything about snake care. When you used to lend him your phone you would probably find him in the mansion's greenhouse surrounded by his snakes while his eyes were glued to the screen as he watches videos on snake care as well as precautions for when they shed their skin, their habitat, best food, even on wikipedia looking up different things to take care of himself and his friends.

Telling Snake about your knowledge and things that would happen in the future would make him feel intrigued and at the same time fearful thinking about what thing could cause something else to happen and prevent it from happening even if it was inevitable anyway. Also, he would like to know more about how people have evolved, if they were kinder to others, if there wasn't as much fuss when they saw someone different, if they accepted certain things more easily.

Seeing you want to teach him music with those big sound devices that you called 'headphones' would make him feel a little self-conscious, but finally when the music plays his surprise can be seen in him as he feels something he had not experienced before. He would have preferences with some genres more than others, the ones he might like the most would be ambient music, classical music and jazz.

He could get used to your presence in the long run. You seemed to be one of the few people he enjoyed the company of, and he learned more things with you by his side. He wouldn't deny spending a nice afternoon with you while you tell him how much everything had changed over the years and Snake would gladly listen to you.

Gregory Violet

First of all, why was there a girl at Weston College if it wasn’t for some special event? Secondly, he would be very intrigued, so he would take you out of public view if he had the chance so you wouldn’t cause any fuss at the time. Although he might initially keep his distance between you due to being generally reserved, his curiosity would make him approach you little by little.

Despite your unusual attire, Gregory would remain just as reserved, not judging anything about you as he silently analyzes you. He probably wouldn’t care much about how you look or what you wear, perhaps he would at first glance, but then he would remain discreet. He would be interested in the unusual and aesthetically different, wanting to capture the essence of your appearance in his drawings. You would be a source of artistic inspiration and he would want to draw you, but being so reserved he wouldn’t ask you to, at least until he gets to know you more deeply.

Seeing a phone for the first time would certainly leave him in awe. The ability to see color photos and color videos and even be able to take them yourself would leave him speechless. He would be more attracted if you showed him art-related photos with lots of colors and different things like that. Speaking of art, he would definitely be fascinated with the amount of things he could learn on different internet sites about artists’ paintings, drawing ideas, biographies and even reading any pdf book and using apps to draw and create without using pencils or hands would be extremely intriguing to Gregory.

Watching stories told through moving images and sound would be another completely new experience. He might be especially interested in movies, series or documentaries that deal with artistic and historical topics. He would be very intrigued and have many questions about how the device works and how you can see anything through it, be it movies, books, letters, numbers, photographs. How a movie could be created and what kinds of devices would be required to film and make the special effects.

If you had been there long enough for Gregory to become more comfortable, he could draw you, maybe he would ask you or, more likely, he would draw you without you noticing or telling you. He would like to capture your “futuristic essence” and keep those drawings to remember you if the time came when you had to leave. He would also make separate drawings of the electrical devices you had told him or shown him, wanting to remember them too.

It would be a unique experience for him and his memory to have met you and learn about all the new advances of the future generations. The fact that you seemed to have a more open mind and no need to judge would have made him enjoy your company more during the time you shared, after all you had not labeled him as weird or different like most people in his time and he appreciated that.

━━━━━━✧ 🦢 ✧━━━━━━

[pretzel-box]

Hi! Hello! How are you doing? I hope you're having a great day. This is the first time I requested something so pls bare with me. So I really like the swap!Sebastian and swap!/payment received reader, so can I request a second part where Sebastian bought readers file and maybe some fluff and comfort, that'd be soooo cute and what comes next is up to you.

Anyways thanks for taking your time in reading this and it's also okay if you ignore this😊😊😊

Tags: Comfort, Fluff, Reverse AU, gn! experiment reader & human sebastian, sequel to previous chapter

Words: 1,1k

Authors Note: Since the story progresses differently, I tried to at least write the fluff and comfort part after Seb saw the tapes!

Sebastian’s breath hitched as he tried to steady himself, his heart racing and his mind a chaotic mess of thoughts. He hadn’t expected to break down like this, not here, not in front of you. He had always prided himself on being composed, on having a plan. But those tapes… the sight of what you had gone through—the screams, the agony, the helplessness—it had torn through him like a knife. He didn’t know how to cope with the knowledge of your suffering, and now, here you were, laughing so freely, so blissfully unaware of the turmoil in his heart.

“Ah, there you are!” Your cheerful voice had greeted him when he walked into the shop, his eyes still red and puffy from the tears he had tried to hold back. Your smile was so genuine, so full of light, and it only made the ache in his chest worse. He wanted to protect that light, to shield you from any more pain, but he didn’t know how.

“Look!” You said, holding up the recorder with a playful grin. “I recorded a wall dweller getting hit by Pandemonium. It got squished like a fly.” You played the clip for him like it was some kind of small victory, a moment of dark humor to lighten the mood. But Sebastian couldn’t focus on the video. He could only see you—the real you—behind the cheerful facade.

He felt a lump form in his throat, his eyes welling up with tears again. You noticed the shift in his expression, the way his face crumpled with a pain you couldn’t quite understand. “God, Sebastian,” you teased gently, though your voice was tinged with concern. “Don’t tell me you’re getting emotional over a wall dweller.”

Sebastian didn’t respond. He just stood there, tears streaming down his cheeks in silent waves. The shame of his breakdown mixed with the overwhelming sadness he felt for you, for everything you’d endured, for every piece of you that had been broken and put back together. He hated that he couldn’t control this, that he couldn’t stop crying in front of you. He felt so raw, so exposed.

You blinked, your teasing smile fading as you realized this wasn’t just some passing moment of sentiment. You stepped closer, your expression softening as you took in the sight of him—Sebastian, your normally composed and snarky companion, now reduced to tears.

Without a word, you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into a comforting embrace. His body stiffened at first, but then he melted into your touch, his head resting against your shoulder as he let out a shaky breath. You held him close, your hand stroking the back of his head, fingers tangling gently in his hair. The other hand moved up and down his back, soothing him with gentle, rhythmic movements.

“It’s okay, Solace,” you whispered softly, your voice a calming melody against the storm raging in his mind. “The wall dweller is at a better place.”

Sebastian let out a choked laugh, a mix of a sob and a chuckle, shaking his head against your shoulder. “It’s… it’s not about the damn wall dweller,” he muttered, his voice thick with emotion. “It’s… it’s you.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion, pulling back slightly to look at him. “Me?” you asked, searching his tear-filled eyes for answers. “What about me?”

He took a deep, shaky breath, trying to steady himself enough to speak. “I saw the tapes,” he admitted quietly, his voice breaking on the last word. “I saw… what they did to you. What you went through.”

Your eyes widened in surprise, your grip on him tightening instinctively. “Sebastian…” you whispered, your voice softening with understanding. “You… you saw those?”

He nodded, tears spilling down his cheeks again. “I’m so sorry,” he choked out. “I’m so sorry for everything they did to you. I just… I don’t know how you’re still standing here, smiling like that.”

You felt a pang in your chest, a mix of sorrow and affection for the man in front of you. You knew the tapes were horrifying—brutal, even—but you had long since come to terms with your past. It was a part of you, yes, but it didn’t define you. Not anymore.

You cupped his face gently, wiping away his tears with your thumbs. “Hey,” you said softly, your voice a soothing balm to his frayed nerves. “I’m okay, Sebastian. I’m still here. I’m still… me.”

He looked at you with such a mix of awe and disbelief, his heart aching with every beat. “But how?” he whispered. “How can you just… move on from something like that?”

You gave him a small, knowing smile. “Because I have to,” you replied simply. “Because if I let it define me, if I let it break me, then they win. And I refuse to let them have that power over me.”

Sebastian stared at you, his heart swelling with a mixture of admiration and love. He had always been drawn to you, always found himself captivated by your spirit, your strength. But now, more than ever, he realized just how much you meant to him—how much he needed you in his life.

He pulled you closer, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he let out a shuddering breath. “I’m so sorry,” he repeated, his voice muffled against your skin. “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from that.”

You smiled softly, your hand continuing to stroke his hair. “You’re protecting me now,” you whispered. “That’s what matters.”

You felt him nod against your shoulder, his arms wrapping around you tighter as if afraid to let go. And in that moment, you knew that no matter what had happened in the past, no matter what horrors you’d both faced, you would face them together. And together, you would heal.

As the two of you stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, a small, playful smile tugged at your lips. “Besides,” you added, your tone teasing, “I bet that wall dweller’s in wall heaven now, with all his little wall dweller friends. Don’t you think?”

Sebastian let out a watery laugh, pulling back to look at you with a mix of exasperation and affection. “You’re impossible,” he muttered, a small smile breaking through his tears.

“And yet,” you said, grinning up at him, “you’re still here.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle, his heart feeling a little lighter, a little more whole. “Yeah,” he admitted softly. “I am.”

And as you stood there together, holding each other close, you knew that even after Sebastian saw the tapes, he would be alright. Just like you are.

[veren-cos]

Bachelors (sdv) x reader on their period

Gender neutral, but purely because of the prompt, afab reader. I'd say everything I write is gender neutral besides the very rare Trans masc reader ☆

Not proofread and I wrote this in like 25 min- I'll update this when I'm less tired.

Harvey

• A literal doctor.

• Is not weirded out like at all. He is all like, "Oh okay! Do you need anything at all?" And moved on with life

• Maybe has a little blush when you first talk about it? It's a completely normal thing at work (and in life), but it's just because it's you that he wants to make sure he handles it well.

• Would probably get you chocolate. And a heating pad. And blankets. And all the things.

• Aka would just spoil you a bit more than normal, periods suck and he knows-

• If you had any like disorder involving you Period he would be extra on top of stuff.

• Will make sure you are well stocked on and properly take pain meds!

Elliott

• Would just absolutely spoil you!

• Runs a bath, gets chocolate, threw your pajamas in the dryer to get them extra warm, heating pad.

• Might give you a massage if they are super painful? Probably would do it regardless but he would definitely offer if he knew that got bad.

• Idk why he knows so much, maybe it's because of Leah? I don't really write about the bachelotettes, but I feel like she would be super open about it so that's why Elliott knows a lot.

• But yeah he'd be super good to you! Would make you food just because. He is great at spoiling people, but not actually great at knowing what to do physically haha. (I think I mentioned in a previous fic where he just makes you soup if your in pain, he would do that here too)

Shane

• So if I just take Shane as a standalone character I don't think he'd know a lot / want to know/ care.

• But!

• Jas. I'm not sure what age she is supposed to be (literally anywhere from 7-12 imo) but I feel like Shane would have read up on Period stuff in preparation.

• So he would actually be more informed than Elliott!

• Now onto the actual stuff lol-

• He wouldn't be super pamper-y like Elliott and Harvey, but he would definitely help around the house more.

• Animals are all taken care of, crops are all watered, took care of some weeds, etc.

• He would also probably be a bit more physically affectionate purely because he knows you like it.

• Might be a bit embarrassed about it at first but after the first one he gets the gist of what to do.

Alex

• Would be relatively informed just because he is a health nut, but also doesn't know what to do because the most important woman in his life is postmenopausal-

• Probably would just give you chocolate and hugs because he knows like. Emotional and cravings.

• If they were super bad he would ask his grandma for help!

• Wouldn't be embarrassed about it! Once again. Health nut. Gets you pain meds!

Sebastian

• Okay. So. Sebastian.

• Literally lives with 2 ladies. Both very strong confident women. He wouldn't be uninformed by any means, but he probably is still awkward around the topic lmao

• Like if you were complaining he would be like "...." "am I supposed to do something about that?"

• AND HE DIDNT MEAN IT IN A RUDE WAY he was genuinely asking. But he just doesn't know and also is an awkward guy?

• Would do the least out of all the Bachelor's. Maybe just be more emotionally available because Period mood swings be rough. Makes more time to talk about things with you.

• Grabs you ibuprofen or Tylenol, whatever you have in the house.

Sam

• So Sam lives with a kind of coddling mom, does not have sisters, so like. His mom wouldn't talk to him about it. He has no 'personal' experience with it.

• Would be the most clueless-

• But he would definitely be like, "oh babe that sucks let me know what I can do"

• Gives you more cuddles, helps on the farm.

• Super enthusiastic about making you comfortable! He makes it into a way bigger deal than it is but he is genuinely curious about stuff so you think it's cute.

• After your first one when your together he is much better prepared / informed so he isn't all over the place.

• Just very cute and well meaning.

An* I hope this was at least a little cute / silly / comforting / whateveryouwantedoutofthis! I base everything off of personal experience because, like, it's all I got- but more people should be comfortable talking about this! It's completely normal and just a basic human function. So if yours is different than what others describe, that's okay! If yours is exactly the same, also okay! Idk where I'm going with this, but there is no shame in having a period, and that's on that!

This also came off way more dramatic than I meant it to be, but I live for the drama so it's okay (this applies to both the fic and the author's note-)

Masterlist

[moonferry]

OKAY here's part 2 of the "how the stardew marriageables would feel to hug" once again will be in alphabetical order !!

bachelorette version HERE

the bachelors (and krobus)

alex: alex loves working out and is obviously very strong. with this in mind, i think he'd be another person who accidentally hugged far tighter than he meant to. his hugs feel like sitting in a reclining chair - like one of the demo ones at a furniture shop. despite how tight he hugs you, you find yourself relaxing into him. plus, i just think it would be nice to bury your face in his chest, alex gently rubbing the back of your head and you telling him about your day. i think alex would smell like leather and maybe musky cologne. a bit more overpowering than the rest (his smell literally latches onto you, your clothing, or even the air around you.) it's not a bad scent tho, just very "masculine" in a way?

elliott: elliott's hugs are lovely! i imagine he has the softest hugs of all the marriageables (likely do to the copious amounts of skincare products/lotions he purchases, but that's just an added bonus.) hugging elliott would feel similar to hugging a silk pillowcase: nice, soft/gentle, and an overall enjoyable experience. elliott's hugs are the perfect "i just want a simple hug right now" kind. i imagine he'd enjoy wrapping his arms around your waist and complimenting you as the two of you hugged. elliott probably smells like an inkwell, with some pomegranate and maybe some ginger (and the ocean, of course!) very light and fruity (honestly you might steal his cologne a time or two.)

harvey: the man who brought this entire spiel to life.. harvey definitely gives the best hugs. his hugs feel like being wrapped in a comforting blanket or feeling the wind gently blow across your face as you sit outside and watch the sun set. i've mentioned this before, but i think harvey loves back hugs. something about having his arms wrapped around you, drawing small shapes on your stomach, and gently kissing your cheek just draws him in. i imagine harvey smells like coffee, a warm chocolate cake, some sandalwood and fresh pine. his hugs are perfect for when you both need to unwind after a stressful day. something about them (maybe it's his doctorly aura) makes your body feel calmed, like it's being healed in a way. legend says that harvey's hugs tend to have healing properties so 👀

krobus: he doesn't exactly have arms, so hugging you back isn't an option. at least not physically, that is. he somehow manages to transmit the feeling of hugging you into your mind and it causes your skin to tingle. however, if you were to actually hug krobus, i imagine it would feel similar to hugging a stuffed animal or a mystical cat. i imagine krobus would be very soft (possibly fluffy!) and his little wisp at the top of his head would rest against your shoulder. as for smells, krobus is a bit difficult. (obviously, coming from a life in the sewers, it's not going to be the greatest thing to smell) HOWEVER i imagine he would smell like black cherry or the "black ice" car air freshener.

sam: oh sam gives amazing hugs. unlike alex, sam crushes you on purpose. he's just very excited and full of love - he needs to share it by squeezing you until you pop! (not literally, of course). i think it's primarily a case of "cuteness aggression" where he just gets so overwhelmed with positive emotions from seeing you that he has to let them out by hugging you tight enough to crack a rib. you don't mind though, and even joke that he could take up practice as a chiropractor because, after hugging him, your spine always seems to become board straight. i imagine sam smells like strawberries, soda, and the beach, maybe a slight hint of desert mist. i like to imagine he also uses his height to an advantage and often picks you up when he hugs you, probably spinning you around as well.

sebastian: another one who i don't think is much of a hugger, especially if he doesn't know you that well. if he does warm up to you, though, he prefers side hugs or he prefers to be the one being hugged, not the other way around. full contact hugs always result in awkwardness and he'd rather avoid that. his hugs are a bit "colder" in a way and usually are finished within a few seconds. it's not that he doesn't like you, he just isn't a big fan of physical touch. however, if you decide to hug him, he will happily lean against you for as long as you want him to. if you drape your arm around his waist and let him lean into your side, his head on your shoulder, he may end up falling asleep. (yoba knows he needs it...) i think sebastian would smell like the outdoors: like a smokey campfire, like peaches, like the crisp, fall air, and faintly like motor oil.

shane: oh another amazing hugger. shane's hugs are very pillowy and sweet, also slightly addictive. it's very easy to sink into him and enjoy the moment. on the other hand, i feel like shane also enjoys being hugged. he loves having your arms around him, your head resting against his chest or shoulder (or in between his shoulder blades if you're back hugging him, this one's a real favorite). bonus points if you trace shapes onto his stomach or lower back, he goes crazy for that sort of thing. (but he'll never admit it, obviously). i like to imagine shane smells like cherry cola, maybe something outdoorsy or something light (ie body wash or soap). i don't think he would go out of his way to make himself a certain way. however, i do think it's hilarious that he has that line of dialogue where he's like ""Sniff*... *sniff*... mmm... what's that wonderful fragrance you're wearing? Eau de pepperoni?”" <- goober.

[unsolvedjarin]

just you wait sunshine.

pairing: (sebastian vettel x driver! reader)

summary: sebastian’s retirement has led him to reminisce his past life and mistakes, including you. little does he know, the universe is about to give him a second chance via a small bookstore in switzerland.

note: this went on WAYYY longer than i wanted it to be and it didn’t really go the direction i wanted either, but we move

content warning: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, more sebastian centric than reader centric tbh (sorry i just love him so much)

word count: 3.7k

Retirement had been good to Sebastian.

He’d finally been able to spend time in his farm house, plant some trees, grow a garden, and along with all that, still have time to drive cars whenever an event needed him to. It was like his entire life schedule magically cleared up in front of him.

He missed racing of course, he won’t pretend that he didn’t. After all, he spent 15 years in the sport, it was his pride and joy for quite a long time. But that time of his life is over, he’s accepted that. He wanted to enjoy the other things in life instead, be able to see and experience things that the busy life of being a driver didn’t let him experience.

Sitting on a chair in his porch watching the sun set, he reflects on what he could have done differently. Who he could have treated differently. And when only one name enters his mind, the same one that’s haunted him for the past 5 years, he sighs reluctantly and heads back inside to prepare his dinner.

—

2012

“What do you wanna do when you grow up?”

The question takes you by surprise as you take another swig of your beer. The moon shone brightly on the porch of whatever airbnb your team had set you up at, and the stars were sparkling like they had never before.

“What kind of question is that, Sebby?” you giggle. “Isn’t this what we’re gonna do for eternity? Racing?”

Sebastian shrugs, looking up at the sky on his foldable chair that you had brought on the trip. “Yeah but after that, you know? I’ve always thought about what my life will be like after retirement.”

“Okay old man, because you’re sooo close to retiring,” you tease. He gives you a playful light shove for that, smiling as he does. The air feels freer and lighter than it ever has before.

“But seriously,” Sebastian chuckled. “Have you ever thought about it?”

You ponder for a second before replying, “No, not really. I mean my career’s just starting, I haven’t really thought about the end. But when I do retire, I think I’d like to be a writer.”

“Like those egotistical types to make a biographical book about themselves?” Sebastian asks, earning a laugh from you. The sound made him feel things that he’d only ever felt before with you.

“God no,” you laugh out. “I don’t wanna be like those old blokes who get obsessed with themselves after they retire. I just wanna write fictional books, maybe under a pen name. Just a simple life; me, my theoretical dog, and my theoretical book.”

Sebastian nods with an understanding look in his eye. He wants that life too. A simple one, away from the public. Even now at his young age, the paparazzis and press were getting annoying quickly.

“I want to live in a house far away from the city,” he says. “Maybe the suburbs— no that’s too near…a farm! I’ll live in a farmhouse.”

You smile at the thought of Sebastian Vettel, two time Formula 1 world champion, just lounging about in a farm tending to his animals and crops.

“Wouldn’t it get boring? Or lonely? Milking your cows alone?”

He answers you with no delay, “Well I’d want you to be with me of course.”

You thanked whatever higher power was listening at that time that he couldn’t see how your blush formed over the darkness of the night. Regaining your sense of self, you reply, “What makes you think I’d want to go with you?”

“Wouldn’t you?” he asks genuinely. “You could write your books inside while I…I don’t know what type of farm I’ll make, exactly. But I’ll be tending to that and you can write your books with your theoretical dog.”

“It’ll be our theoretical dog, then.”

Sebastian replied with a soft smile, “Ours, then.”

—

He had settled on bees. Having a bee farmhouse. It wasn’t easy work, it was definitely more complicated than milking a cow like you had said, but it made him happy, and it made him content.

Well, as content as he could be.

You had your first kiss that night, Sebastian recalled. He remembers because even though you didn’t think it, he could see the red blush dusted lightly on your cheeks, a sign he made the right choice leaning in and making his move.

Preparing his dinner for one in his cozy yet lonely farm house, he realizes he could have had this all with you. If he had just been more kind and if you had forgiven him, you could have had all of this together. A life that both of you had always wanted.

—

2018

“Sebastian, I’m not asking you to retire or something, I’m just asking you to take a break, please,” you beg. He remembers your exasperated voice as clear as day.

“I can’t take a break, Y/N, you don't understand. If I don’t get at least podium in this race, that's it, my career is basically over.”

Scoffing, you replied, “Your career isn’t over just like that, you’ve still got another year with Ferrari for christ’s sake.”

“You wouldn’t get it,” he mumbled, opting to turn away from you and put on his racing gear instead.

He’d been distant the whole season, the tension between the two of you increasing and increasing that finally it just snapped this race weekend. He’d been icing you out, acting like you didn’t exist because he was ‘practicing for the races ahead.’

At first you understood, you were a driver too. You recognized the difficulty of always losing race after race, how after a while it took a toll on your mental wellbeing. So you gave him space.

Then, when that didn’t work, you tried reaching out, helping him. It was the worst mistake of your life. Every time you tried to talk to him, to ask him what was wrong so you could help, he kept pushing you further and further away, acting like you were getting in the way of his work, sometimes even getting angry.

That went on for the whole season, until finally today, on qualifying morning, you snapped and demanded he talk to you.

“What the hell do you mean ‘I wouldn’t get it’? I have the exact same job as you,” you accused. You’d been patient for months and his vagueness was starting to get on your nerves.

Whipping his head around angrily to face you he replied, “You don’t have to reach the same standard as I do. I have to constantly prove I’m the best, and you constantly prove to be a midfielder.”

Oh.

Oh.

That was a low blow, even Sebastian knew that. Your relationship had been teetering on the edge for the past year, but this was a make or break moment, and he knew exactly which one of the two it was going to be.

“So it’s like that,” you decided with a tone of finality. Sebastian wanted to ask for your forgiveness right then and there, to apologize, to make up for the last few months of being an asshole, to beg you not to throw away your years together just like that.

But he knew he was in the wrong, and he was too stubborn and egotistical to apologize.

Sensing the silence from him, you nod with teary eyes you tried so desperately to stop from flowing freely. Sebastian wanted nothing more to wipe them away, to hold you in his arms, but he never could do it.

“This is how you want it to end?” You asked him. It was a genuine question. You were giving him one last choice, one last chance to make up for how he’d been treating you the past year.

He stayed silent.

“Enjoy your fucking career, Vettel.”

—

He won that race. It was his first win of the season, but he felt like he had lost the championship itself as he stood on that podium, eyes looking for you in the crowd like he usually did, finding you absolutely nowhere.

After your argument he tried to talk to you in the paddocks but you constantly avoided him, the act not being hard when he wasn’t allowed inside your team’s hospitality building nor paddock. That fight was the last sensible conversation with each other you ever had.

You retired the year after that. You moved out quietly from your shared home, and he heard you stayed with Jenson for quite a while. He couldn’t blame you, Jenson had always been kind to you— Sebastian had no place to be jealous.

Hearing the beeping of his oven, Sebastian snaps out of his trip down memory lane to grab his dinner. It was a tray of lasagna, one he was sure he would be eating again tomorrow lunch because of the size of it.

He thinks about how he wouldn’t have to place the excess in a container for tomorrow if he just had someone to share it with. If he could share it with you.

Going through his grocery list at 10 in the morning, Sebastian notices a new store out of the corner of his eye. He’s been to this street countless times to do his grocery down the road— they had a brand of milk that no other nearby grocery had— but he had never seen that store before.

It was a bookshop. A small one compared to the large shops that surrounded it, but it stood out enough to be noticed yet cozy enough to feel inviting. It was a cold morning in Switzerland, and the heater inside just invited him further in until he found himself standing at the doorway, taking in the smell of books and the absolutely gorgeous decor.

He will admit, he hasn’t seen a bookshop like this in quite a while. The second he stepped foot inside he felt the love radiate through it, as if he knew the owner personally and how they had a passion for their store.

All Sebastian could think about, however, was how much you would love this. How you would adore running your fingers through the spine of a second hand book, or how you would pick a fresh new one for him to read and he would do the same for you, just like you both did back then.

He won’t pretend that he never looked for your book when you retired. He knew you weren’t joking about publishing one, he just didn’t know what pen name you chose so he never could find it.

“Looking for something specific?” A voice makes him turn his head around to see the woman behind the register looking at him inquisitively. He realizes that he was just standing in an aisle not really reading or picking up a book.

Sebastian shakes his head, “Not really, just browsing. I was thinking about how a friend of mine would have liked to see this store, it’s right up their alley.”

“Why don’t you invite them then?” A different voice speaks.

…It can’t be.

That voice.

That voice.

No, he was hallucinating, dreaming maybe. Yes, this was a dream. That would be the only explanation why from behind him he heard a voice he missed so dreadfully, one he tried imagining talk to him again some nights, one he watched old videos for, one he—

“Sebastian?”

It was you. He would recognize your voice anywhere. He turns around, and the world seems to slow down as if it suddenly focused on just the both of you. The background blurs and everything is hazy and distorted but you were there. Standing in front of him, actually real. Older than he remembers but not in a negative way, just more mature. More peaceful. More you.

Staring at you in the middle of a bookshop in Switzerland after 5 years, Sebastian couldn’t speak. He didn’t know what to say. What would be right? Would there be words he could tell you that would make you ever forgive him?

“I-” “You-”

You both start at the same time, making you laugh at each other. It was the first time he’s seen you smile since 2016. He used to say he would burn cities to see you smile, and he’s glad he knows now that that feeling hasn’t changed.

“You first,” he says. He wants to hear what you’ll say so he can choose his words better.

“I, uh,” you laugh awkwardly. It was still a beautiful sound to Sebastian. “I was actually slightly expecting to see you here.”

Oh. Well he didn’t expect that. You…you were expecting to see him? Like purposely thinking about him? The thought boggled Sebastian.

Noticing his visible silence, you speak up again. “I co-own this bookstore,” you smile. “I knew you lived around the area so I expected I’d bump into you eventually. It’s not the main thing that I do, but my Swiss friend you just talked to behind the counter wanted to make a bookstore but was low on funds so I decided to help a friend out, you know?”

Oh he knows. You were always so kind when it came to your friends. He remembers, he used to be one of them.

“That’s really nice of you,” Sebastian says. He slaps himself internally for the dumb reply he gives. “You uh, you look great.” Way to fucking go Sebastian. What a great conversation saver.

“Not in a weird way, of course. I mean I would never try to make you feel uncomfortable by saying that. Did you feel uncomfortable? Was it weird? It probably was. I mean I haven’t seen you in so long and that’s the first thing I say it’s so stupid and I could have said something of significance but—”

You stop Sebastian before he rambles on any longer. Holding his fidgeting hand, you chuckle at the sight of the nervous German in front of you. “Relax, Seb. I’m not mad. I’ve moved on.”

Oh.

“You have?” He asks, not thinking before he speaks because he knows he hasn’t. How could he move on from the best thing that ever happened to him and the biggest mistake he ever made?

The question takes you aback, pulling your hand away from his. For a second Sebastian thinks he’s messed up all over again, but you simply reply, “I meant from racing. But I know what you think I mean.”

“Can we catch up? I’ve missed you.” Sebastian hears himself say it before he even realizes the implications of his words.

“Oh.” you say with a pause. It makes Sebastian’s heart sink. Maybe you really have moved on, but in a way that you didn’t want him in your life anymore. He gets that. It looks like you’ve built a nice life for yourself outside of racing. Even if he never gets to be in it. He’s proud of you for being able to move on. “How about we sit down for some coffee first? I know a place near here.”

Oh thank god. Sebastian wasn’t ready to be deprived of you again so quickly.

Walking to the cafe, the air was thick with the tension between the two of you. While your accidental meeting in the library had gone well, the spark of the moment had faded and the reality of the situation had settled in. This was someone Sebastian had deeply wronged, someone he still deeply loved, and there were too many words unsaid there about both.

Sitting down at the window seats— he remembers how you loved sitting there so you could watch the people outside— you flag down a waiter to take both your orders.

“I’ll take a macchiato and— Seb do you still take your coffee black?”

Nodding, he looks out the window with a light blush on his cheeks. The fact that you remembered his— albeit simple— order made him happy and he had to catch himself otherwise he would be smiling like a teenage boy again. It was truly the little things.

“So,” he speaks up, straightening up and looking at you.

“So,” you mimic. “I go first or you go first?”

“My life has been pretty televised before I retired, there’s nothing really surprising in it. You go first.”

You spend the next 30 minutes filling him in on your life, how you avoided the media for the past few years, how you live in a cozy home with your dog, how you still exchange presents with some of the older grid during Christmas (Sebastian admits he got jealous here).

But the most important part was when he heard how you finally wrote that book you always talked about.

“Really? You finally published it?” Sebastian asks. He could see how the smile on your face was genuine, unlike the many times he saw you put on a fake one for the press or the media. It made him happy.

“Yeah, I finally found time after I retired to start it. Surprisingly it’s actually much harder and less peaceful than I thought it’d be.”

“At least it’s not a biographical book,” Seb jokes. The throwback makes you giggle, but it also makes you both acknowledge the elephant in the room. There were still so many things left unsaid, you both didn’t know where to start.

“Y/N back when I said those things, you know the ones, I didn’t mean them.”

Giving him a sad smile you reply, “I know, Seb. But it doesn’t take them back. Besides, that silly argument was just the straw that broke the camel's back, we were on the edge of our relationship for so long, you knew that too.”

“I know, but that was my fault it was on the edge too. I kept pushing you away because of Ferrari and how disappointed I was in my career. I didn’t realize at the time how much it was hurting you until I finally lost you. I know it makes no sense to say it this late when all is said and done, but I am sorry.”

Sebastian’s words stunned you to silence. You knew he never meant pushing you away, despite your last fight he was never intentionally that unkind, it was just racing that pushed him to be like that back then. But hearing the words coming from him hit differently, the way he said the two words you’ve been yearning for for years. I’m Sorry.

It couldn’t make you forget, but it could make you forgive.

“I know you are, Sebby,” you say. The old nickname brings a nostalgic smile on his face. “I’ve forgiven you years ago, just after I retired. I figured I should let go of my ghosts and that’s what I did. Though I won’t lie, your ghost did put up quite a fight giving me tears at night,” you joked. Sebastian could sense the hint of sadness in it.

He wishes he could make it all go away, to fix it just like he used to be able to. But he knows it’s not that easy. Not when the years have separated you both. It’ll be hard getting your trust back to let him into your heart even just as a friend, but goddamn if he wasn’t going to try and fix it.

“Will you ever show me the book?”

The question catches you slightly off guard. “I doubt it. It’s not up your alley anway, historical fiction.”

“Anything you write is up my alley. Maybe you can come over sometime and show it to me,” he says, not realizing the underlying meaning to it.

“Careful, Sebastian,” you say. “Forgiving is easy when you’re given time, but forgetting is harder. Let’s take baby steps.”

Baby steps. He could live with that. To Sebastian it doesn’t matter if it takes days or years to get you back in his life, he’ll let you take your time. You deserve it. And if you choose in the end to walk out of his life again, well, then he deserves it.

You hug each other goodbye when you leave, the hug lasting longer than it should have. He knows he promised baby steps, but when you buried your head into the crook of his neck and tightened your grip around him softly, he couldn’t resist pulling you closer to him and holding you there for a few seconds. He misses this, the closeness of it.

He sends you his address if ever you were in the area again, and you notice how the profile picture he has for you on your number was still the one of you when you were both rookies. It made you happy.

Sebastian didn’t expect anything more to happen, he spent that night contemplating what good deed he must’ve done to bring you back into his life again. Whatever it was, he was grateful he had done it.

The next afternoon as he was reheating the Lasagna— that he ultimately forgot yesterday— in the oven for lunch, he heard his doorbell ring. Opening his door he spots a package on the floor, one that was wrapped with a cute bee themed wrapping paper. It made him chuckle. He expected that whoever or whatever was at the door was you, but this was the next best thing.

Sitting down on his porch chair, he opens the package delicately as if it were fragile. He can feel the outline already, it was a book. Moreover, it was your book. Sebastian couldn’t believe it.

There was a note attached that read, ‘Forgot to tell you yesterday. I missed you too.’

The few words were almost enough to bring him to tears, but he continued and opened the book to scan its contents. The typing Published 2020 stands out, making him realize how long he’s missed out on this.

But what truly catches his attention is the dedication. Smack right in the middle, the words to be seen by everyone, read; For my Sunshine, the amount of words left unsaid will never match the amount of love I still have for you in my heart.

He may not be able to fix his mistake just like that, but Sebastian would wait however long it took for you to love him again, as a friend or as another. As long as his sunshine was in his life again.

[sammylkcho]

Hello! Hi! Do you think you could write for a swap version of Sebastian x reader? Like, reader is the experimented one and Sebastian is an expandable, encountering reader in their shop, maybe they could banter and whatnot (what ever happens next is up to you). I've always liked these types of trope so it would be really neat to see more of this type of stories and such.

It's okay of you don't answer this ask of mine. Hope your having a wonderful day or night from where you are and take care of yourself ☺️☺️☺️

Notes/Warnings: Swap AU, seb being a expendable, not proofread, bad grammar and bad jokes (and an attempt at wordplay)

divider by @/cafekitsune

It had been a while since any group of expendables or even a solo one had passed through your shop. They usually died before even reaching door 40, and you had to loot their bodies to see if they had managed to get anything from the previous rooms. The only thing you could find were a few flashlights with half a battery —and if you were lucky- some flash beacons.

Not everything was going that bad, though. You still had the luck of restocking with the stuff the expendables left behind after dying, while waiting for an Angler or a Wall Dweller to snack on their corpse.

Though, you won’t lie, you were getting a little bored not being able to mess with an expendable. Your only company was the chatty AI who didn’t care about your presence; it seemed more like you were doing him a favor just by being the person who listened while he talked.

Now, you’d heard the PA system that always went off when a submarine arrived at the Blacksite, along with the same monotone voice giving short, no-nonsense instructions to the expendables. That meant a new expendable had arrived, and you couldn’t wait to see how long they would survive—especially if they made it to your little shop.

You didn’t have to wait long until the sound of footsteps growing closer to door 57 told you the expendable was almost at your small store.

The sound of the metal door unlocking reached your ears (fins) in no time. A soft hum escaped your throat as you prepared to give the little presentation you always did with every expendable.

"Psssp! Need a pair of extra hands?" you called out to the stranger, pushing open the small vent slot with your tail fin. You noticed how their footsteps came to a sudden halt, and there was a silence only filled by the Hadal site’s atmosphere- something you’d gotten used to a long time ago.

You heard the noise of someone crawling through the vent, and you lightly tugged on the anglerfish lure hanging from you, immediately lighting up the place.

You took note of the expendable’s figure: a man, with dark brown skin, somewhat messy black wavy hair falling to his shoulders, blue eyes, and a scar above his nose. Something about him caught your attention, but you pushed that thought aside-he was an expendable, and your next customer.

"Welcome! My name is…" you told him your name, expressing yourself animatedly with your arms. "And I can help you out by offering items that could make surviving in a place like this easier. In exchange for some of the research you’ve brought with you, of course. Think of it as a kind of trade; seller and customer." You explained, motioning toward the items you had tied in small bags along your tail.

The expendable seemed cautious, reserved, unsure of his surroundings, and especially of you. You couldn’t blame him; you’d be looking over your shoulder every two seconds and mistrusting anything in this place too-death was literally lurking in every room.

He looked at you with those same blue eyes that had caught your attention, examining your appearance and the strange friendly demeanor you had in a place like this. A little optimism never hurt, right?

You smiled, trying your best to hide your sharp shark teeth, hoping not to scare or provoke him too much. A little patience and some friendly words might just soften that distrustful attitude.

"My name is Sebastian.." the expendable spoke for the first time, still wearing a cautious look on his face.

"Nice to meet you, Sebastian! Hope the fish didn’t reel you in too quickly, especially those anglers lurking around." You joked, tilting your head slightly to the side to get a better look at him, your lure moving in sync.

You noticed a slight smirk forming on his face as he tried in vain to stop it from turning into a full-on mocking smile. You chuckled softly at that subtle attempt, causing him to glance at you with the same smirk still on his face.

"Yeah, I slipped away before they could hook me." He replied with a bit of humor in his tone. He moved a part of his dark hair that was covering his right eye, laughing as he did.

You laughed along with him, getting comfortable with his presence, and the soft sound of his laughter was music to your ears. You were starting to like this expendable.

[obbystars]

Encounter Nihilism

Synopsis: “Just because they don’t have any eyes doesn’t mean they don’t have other senses. Come on, you should know that by now.” Z-13 (Sebastian Solace)

Notes: Not exactly a Sebastian Solace x Reader fic but you can read it as such / read When Light Fades before reading this / Reader deaths, nothing too angsty though / Sebastian being an asshole (and we love him for it) / Experimental deaths + cutting off limbs / Brief angst at the end / may be a tad bit shorter than my usual (it bothers me)

Credits: dividers by @cafekitsune

(Is it obvious this is self indulgent? I really love When Light Fades, super proud of it. I haven’t decided if I’m gonna take this concept and use it for an OC yet, but oh boy, it’s getting strong. Anyway, this fic’s meant to explore more on the reader featured in When Light Fades while also continuing to experiment with Sebastian’s character.)

As you swam to the next door, you hear strange noises coming from the other side. It’s not the Good People, they can’t come into the flooded rooms. It doesn’t sound like an angler either. You continued forward and the next door slid open. Your eyes widened at the sight of the creature on the other side as it looked at you.

Panicked, you try to climb into a locker. You don’t make it in time as you feel its tentacles wrap around your head to crush your diving mask, but that isn’t what kills you. The creature manages to trick the operator behind the PDG by attempting to remove it, causing immediate detonation.

You woke up with a gasp in an all too familiar room.

“I heard that,” Sebastian leans on his hand as his lure flickers on, “What’d you run into this time… Ah,”

You looked down as he slides over the document. An image of the creature you encountered is shown and beside it was another photo that was redacted. Maybe in another death you’ll see what that other photo is.

Nihilism was the codename Urbanshade had given it. A lot of the text within the first page was left redacted, and only a few lines were on the second page were visible.

“If by chance any operative encounters Z-8 within any flooded rooms, it is advised to remain still and turn off any light source currently in possession. Wait for Z-8 to pass.”

That was the only line you were able to read. Sebastian begins to tap his finger against the desk. You sit back and he takes that as the signal you’re done, but it’s not like you read much anyway.

He sighs as he closes the document, “Think of if as Red Light, Green Light. Surely you’ve played that game before,”

“Ugh, this feels worse than Pandemonium…” you groaned, leaning on the table.

“Pretend you’re a corpse floating in the water. That should be pretty easy for you, yeah? I mean, you have died quite a lot,”

“Screw you…”

Upon your next life, you find yourself in the trench tunnels about 20 doors in. It was an area in Hadal Blacksite you despised since it showed you that the anglers can attack from the front. You stepped out of the locker once the angler passed by and turned on your flashlight. There’s no squiddles in this room so you decided to look through the drawers for anything useful.

In the corner of your eye, you swear you saw something moving in the dark water. It wasn’t the Eyefestation as you didn’t see a green glow. Instead, it was Z-8. You freeze once you finally realized it, and you clicked your flashlight off. They looked like they were just passing by, but they suddenly turned to look at your general direction. Did they somehow sense you turning it off?

“Are you alive?”

You actually freeze up this time. It was a voice inside your head, but it wasn’t like Eyefestation where it tried to mimic the voice of the person in the PA. This was its own voice.

“I can sense you there,”

You start taking shallow breaths, almost resorting to holding it.

“Don’t worry. I can’t reach you. But when I do, it’s not personal,” it continues, “We’re both fighting for what we want, right? Freedom from this place?”

You try to not listen, thinking it’s only try to persuade you into meeting up with it. Maybe even striking up some sort of deal.

“I wish this wasn’t how we met, but I owe Sebastian. This is my favor to him,” its tone suddenly changes, “We can’t let you get that crystal,”

“…they owe Sebastian?” You whispered to yourself.

The Eyefestation suddenly emerges from the dark, and Z-8 swims out of her way as her eyes turned red. A new voice cried inside your head, pleading for you to look into its eyes. The next thing you knew, you were back in the room with Sebastian who stifled a laugh as he slides over the document to you. You had questions concerning what Z-8 had said, but maybe now’s not the right time to ask.

“For unknown reasons, Z-8 is somehow able to communicate with Z-317 “The Eyefestation.” Should operatives see Z-8 outside the windows, or hear its voice, DO NOT LISTEN and keep moving forward as they cannot reach you. They have already called “The Eyefestation” and are trying to keep you in the room.”

Sebastian closes the document, still trying to keep himself from laughing, “A tag-team! Who would’ve thought, huh?”

You rolled your eyes, “I can’t believe that’s how I died,”

“Like a deer in headlights,” he smirks as he leans closer, “Happens to all of us, but man, I thought you’d be used to seeing that shark considering the amount of times you looked at her,”

“She just startled me! I’d love to look at her if she wasn’t able to kill me just by making me look at her,” you shrugged, “She is a beautiful shark,”

Sebastian gives you an odd look and groans, “Get out of here already,”

“Fair enough,”

The next few deaths to Z-8 were more of trial and error. In your most recent death, you learned the hard way that Z-8 does not like the flash beacon and did not hesitate to detonate your PDG. You felt like it was a strange reaction considering it took them a moment to even react when you used any other light source.

“Got grabbed again, did ya?” Sebastian laughed.

He then slides the document to you, now revealing the entire document with some text still left redacted. Some documents contained those, such as his own, and you learned to stop caring about it. At least it wasn’t like the Multi-Monster. Previously redacted photo was now uncovered. A person whose face was obscured.

Z-8 - Codename: Nihilism. Real name: ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇

In early 2011, five LR-Ps were selected to be a part of an experiment to achieve immortality. Out of the five selected, only Z-8 survived the first round of tests. Z-9, Z-10, Z-11, and Z-12 all succumbed to different effects as each subject was given a different dosage. Although Z-8 survived, they were not immune to the effects their dosage brought. As a result, the experiment was left on hold until researchers found a better source to reach the desired goal.

By 2013, the experiment resumed using the immortal jellyfish as originally planned along with the mimic octopus, the ▇▇▇, and ▇▇▇▇. Z-8 was used again for the next test and hasn’t experienced any side effects on the first day. Two days later, a guardsman escorting Z-8 noticed they have been stumbling and bumping into the walls. On the seventh day, Z-8 had gone completely blind. However, it has been noted that Z-8 is capable of sensing where there is light and where someone is even if they are not moving.

Z-8 soon began to struggle walking and can’t seem to have a tight grip. It didn’t take very long for them to lose all feeling in their arms and legs. They were still able to move their torso as well as their head. They were still capable of speech, but Z-8 has been refusing to talk.

Z-8 was meant to be executed due to the state they were in, but thirty minutes after their heart seemingly stopped, it soon started to beat again. They wake up an hour later as if they had just taken a nap with all of their memories still intact, but Z-8 still cannot see and still cannot walk or move their arms. This resulted in having to move Z-8’s location into a more suitable cell for testing.

Z-8 has endured 5 deaths before changes in their body started becoming clear. Shortly after, testing and studying the regenerative properties Z-8 should have began. Due to poor execution during the procedures, Z-8 ended up enduring 7 more deaths. By the 4th death, a new side effect to Z-8’s resurrection was noted. Upon death, coral (polyps) begins to form on their body.

Their body soon takes the form of a humanoid jellyfish, leading to having to relocate them again. Z-8 no longer turns to others when they are near until they shine a light. The behavior they show gives the impression they like the light and often try to follow it, sometimes moving their head or even their entire body.

Z-8 will then be used to study the regenerative properties further until it can be refined in a way that is desirable.

Before the lockdown was in effect, Z-8 was going to be sold at The Anomalous Auctions as Z-8 had been deemed of no monetary value, nor can be used for work. 5 hours into the lockdown, camera footage caught Z-13 transporting Z-8 to an unknown location.

If by chance any operative encounters Z-8 within any flooded rooms, it is advised to remain still and turn off any light source currently in possession. Wait for Z-8 to pass.

DO NOT move as Z-8 can sense you nearby, but they can’t differentiate between a corpse and a living person until you move.

Turn off any and all light sources in your possession as Z-8 can sense it and become curios. Your window to turn it off is narrow, but it’s still wide enough to not raise their suspicion.

There is a chance where operatives may find Z-8 roaming in a dark flooded room with S-Q. If the room prior has lights on, Z-8 will go into that room. It is safe to move in the dark room as Z-8 cannot tell the difference between you and the S-Q.

For unknown reasons, Z-8 is somehow able to communicate with Z-317 “The Eyefestation.” Should operatives see Z-8 outside the windows, or hear its voice, DO NOT LISTEN and keep moving forward as they cannot reach you. They have already called “The Eyefestation” and are trying to keep you in the room.

Unlike Z-13, operatives are instructed to contain Z-8 as it is impossible for the subject to stay dead.

You’re not exactly sure what to say to all of this. Sebastian is being much quieter than usual too, not even closing the document when you sat back. You look up at him, building up the courage to speak.

“So that’s what they meant when they said they owe you…”

“They don’t owe me anything,” his voice lowered into a growl, “It was their choice to stay much like that shark,”

You look down at the document again and sighed, “Kinda feels like there’s much more than that,”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

You sighed again as you stood up to leave. Sebastian watches you go and looks back down at the document, then closes it without another word.

[everythingisromant1c]

It's Always Been You - Chapter 11

james potter x fem!reader

summary - Even with the events of the morning, you were still determined to go on your date in Hogsmeade. Though, after the heated discussion you'd had with James, you weren't sure how enjoyable the experience could be.

wc [5.3k]

a/n: hello all!! ty all for the love on the past chapters, and im both happy + sad to say that there will be one more chapter to this series! (ahh!) can't wait to release it very very soon <3 - e

all chapters | <- Chapter 10 - Chapter 12 ->

You'd arrived at Madam Puddifoot's so quickly you could've sworn you'd apparated, or at least that's what it'd felt like. It was like your legs had gone into autopilot, some sort of survival instinct that had willed you to keep walking when it was the last thing you wanted to do. Though at the same time, you didn't think you would've had it in you to continue your conversation with James, if you could even call it that.

It hurt too much in the moment. Hell, it hurt too much to even think about—though this time, you couldn't force yourself to just 'ignore' it. In fact, it was all you could think about the entire walk to the tea shop, even though you were meant to be thinking about someone else. That someone who was standing outside of the shop, tall frame and perfect smile greeting you next to the pink wooden door.

"Hey there," he called, the warmth from his smile audible to you even alongside the winds that almost howled against your figure. You already felt yourself panicking, because he looked so charming and hopeful and you were sure you looked anything but.

You pried away the hair that had flocked in front of your eyes thanks to the relentless breeze. Just as you'd suspected, you definitely did not look like the perfect, effortlessly pretty girl you were sure Sebastian was accustomed to seeing on a date.

His smile dropped, the inner workings of his brows pulling concernedly. "Hey, are you okay?" He moved closer until he had a hand gently holding one of your shoulders, eyes scanning over your face.

You nodded, gaze cast downwards busily. You lifted a hand over your cheek, alarmed as it came back damp and shining. You must've started to cry for real sometime between when your best friend confessed his supposed feelings for you and when you walked to your date with another guy—you felt faint.

"Yeah," you told him, though your voice cracked halfway. "Just had a rough morning, is all."

Sebastian looked over you for a few seconds, maybe bargaining whether he could still get out of this date before it even truly began. "Are you sure you're up for our date? If you want me to take you back to the castle, we can always reschedule-"

"No." You forced your lips to smile at him, your nose to take a breath in. "I'm better now." You tipped your head to the door behind him. "Let's head inside."

He relented, maybe not by choice because you'd already begun walking towards the entrance to the shop, but he did all the same. He managed to hold the door open for you, to which you nodded gratefully and walked into Madam Puddifoot's with as much dignity as you could muster.

The tea shop was decked out with romantic and frilly pink decorations on every wall, fine china and complicatedly patterned cloths on every table. Sebastian guided you to one of them, pulling out your chair for you without a second thought. You sat down, finally feeling a bit more stable, though that feeling was lost as soon as you moved to take off your coat.

Your fingers paused, even if only for the thinnest of seconds, on the fabric draped over your shoulders. You lowered your head—you were still wearing James's jacket. The warm scent enveloped you every time you breathed, so you didn't. At least, not until you lifted the jacket from off your shoulders and onto the back of your chair. Its presence was still a dizzying reminder of all that'd been said just a few minutes ago, something you had to fight not to react to as Sebastian took a seat across from you.

A heavy ten seconds passed until a dark-haired woman who you assumed was Madam Puddifoot herself came over to your table. She wore a smile and an apron with frills that matched the decorations. "What can I get for the lovely couple?"

You felt so unlike yourself that you didn't even flush at her use of the word 'couple.' Sebastian gestured for you to order first. Your mind was strangely blank as you voiced, "Just a ginger tea, please."

Madam Puddifoot gave you a strange and assessing look after you spoke, the shadow of a motherly, concerned frown disturbing her features. "My dear, are you alright?"

If one more person asked you that you thought you were going to cry again. You looked up at the woman and nodded, a polite smile gracing your lips. "I'm alright, thank you." Changing the topic as Madam Puddifoot continued to stare at you, you looked over at the boy across from you. "What would you like, Sebastian?"

"I'll just take a black tea, thanks." He smiled handsomely up at Madam Puddifoot, and that seemed to satisfy her.

She nodded and clapped her hands together. "One Ginger and one Black!" she yelled to no one in particular, until suddenly two fragile-looking cups of tea came swarming towards your table, seemingly appearing from nowhere, and set themselves down in front of you both. The witch clapped her hands again and a plate of biscuits appeared before you to accompany your tea.

She smiled, satisfied. "Anything else I can get you, dears?"

Sebastian looked at you as you shrugged, so he shook his head no at the woman, who nodded before moving to greet another pair of students who'd appeared at the door.

"So," Sebastian began, picking up his tea but not drinking it. "You said you had a rough morning?"

You looked down at the cup in front of you. "I'd rather not talk about it, if that's alright."

Sebastian pinched his brows. "Right, I'm sorry."

You shook your head. "Don't be." Then you picked up your own tea, taking a sip of its gingery contents that only soothed your mind a little bit. "How was your own morning?"

"It was alright. Took the carriage ride in with my mate and his date." He laughed to himself. "Can't help but think I was a bit of a third wheel, really."

"Right, I'm so sorry about that." You set down your tea. "My friend ... my friends wanted me to spend some time with them for the first Hogsmeade trip of the year." You felt sick just saying it, the sentence cloaked in your poorly hidden disguise as you fought your expression from changing.

"No worries. I get it." Sebastian plucked a biscuit off the porcelain plate between you. "That reminds me of my first time going to Hogsmeade in the third year, actually."

He began relaying a story to you about him and his friend, something about a permission slip not being signed, but you couldn't help but become distracted. Distracted by whatever mess was going on up in your brain.

"Do you know how hard it is to get anything done when all I can think about is my best friend kissing me?"

The dizzying words whipped around in your head like a sail in violent winds, and you tried your hardest to lower the mast. You looked at the daintily beautiful setup before you, aged tablecloth and intricate silverware, biscuits and jam placed effortlessly in the middle of it all. The whole scene seemed to mock you, really. The perfect setup for a date and yet your mind couldn't even seem to recognize that you were on one.

You somehow managed to refocus on what Sebastian was saying, him luckily having not noticed your wandering mind, and willed yourself to laugh and smile when appropriate. It wasn't his fault; his story was funny, or at least you thought it should've been on any other occasion.

"I've heard Vance tell about a million jokes to you and, trust me, you couldn't get a five-year-old to laugh at any one of them."

As those words rang through your head, you truly became angry. Angry at James for even having said them, but more so angry at yourself for even thinking of them during a time like this.

"And ever since then, his parents have had to send his permission slip directly to Dumbledore by owl." Sebastian finished his story with a nostalgic glint in his eye, and you hummed a laugh that you hoped sounded genuine enough. God, you were just awful.

For the rest of the date, time seemed to pass by slower and slower until you'd lost track of how many times you had to muster up a smile or calculate a laugh as your brain worked against you. But your method seemed like it was working well enough, and Sebastian seemed unbothered by your slight passiveness. It made you wonder how well you really knew each other.

The stuffiness of the shop was swelling and threatening the steady rhythm you'd made. Maybe you'd cooled off on the outside, but inside it felt like your mind was overheating and melting the rest of you until it made it difficult to breathe normally without focusing on that alone.

Maybe thirty minutes had gone by, or an hour, but it became a lot harder to focus on doing that when you watched as Sebastian went quiet and placed a soft hand on yours atop the table. You looked down at his fingers that encapsulated yours, a romantic gesture, surely, and then back at him. This time though, he had inched closer from across the round table and his gaze had gone soft and your heart had dropped in your chest because this was exactly what you thought would happen—Did he want to kiss you?

You panicked, you didn't know why, but you did. You pulled your hand from his swiftly and, in the blink of an eye, a crash and a painful clang rang out and suddenly there were shards of white porcelain all over the floor next to you.

You'd knocked over a teacup. Of course you had.

You panicked even more. "Oh my God," you cursed. "Crap."

You knelt down and began picking up the scattered pieces, but there were so many and your head was still spinning from earlier and you were thinking about someone else when Sebastian had tried to kiss you and suddenly your vision was blurring over.

Sebastian quickly got up from his seat and joined you in your effort to pick up the broken fragments of your cup. When they were all picked up and you placed them back down on the table, a mess next to the prettily stacked biscuits and jam, he frowned when he saw your distraught expression and teary eyes.

"Hey, are you hurt?" he questioned hurriedly. "Did you get cut?"

You shook your head. "No, I didn't." Your voice broke, and suddenly you really were crying again, surely causing a scene in the tea shop.

"Hey, it's okay," cooed Sebastian, some confusion lining his voice. "It's only a teacup. I'm sure Madam Puddifoot has hundreds of others."

You shook your head pathetically. "No, it's ... it's not that."

He regarded you for a moment. "Is it because I tried to kiss you?"

You didn't respond, maybe from embarrassment, or shame, or because of the effort of trying to stop yourself from crying, but Sebastian sighed.

"It is, isn't it?" He shook his head in his hand, elbow on the table. "I shouldn't have tried to kiss you. It's too early, and you're clearly upset-"

"It's alright, Sebastian." You wiped at your cheeks. "We're on a date in Madam Puddifoot's. That's what people do when they come here. This is all my fault really. This whole mess, it's my fault."

"It was only an accident," Sebastian reasoned, and at your shattered expression, he stopped himself. "Not about the teacup. Right."

You sat there in silence for a beat, peering at the physical mess you'd made as well.

"If you don't mind me asking," Sebastian began, "is this all about what happened this morning?"

Your heart stung in your chest for a moment at the thought of it. "Yeah... it is." You looked away, gathering yourself. "Just a thing with a friend. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize," he told you, for what seemed like the thousandth time since you'd met him. He went silent for a second too, head tipped down before lifting it back up. He seemed to look at you then like he was seeing right through you. "The friend is Potter, isn't it?"

Your eyes snapped to him as your stomach churned and a wave of guilt washed over you. "How-" you gaped. "How did you know?"

"I just had a feeling." He shrugged. "Plus, you came in wearing his jacket, so I just figured."

Your lips parted and you spared a glance over at the worn brown coat draped over the back of your seat. The guilt seemed to drown you now, and all you wanted to do was hide in your dorm.

"Look," Sebastian began, and he looked surprisingly not angry. "I don't know what happened with Potter, but whatever it is, you should probably be with him right now. Not with me."

A premonition churned in your gut at his words. "I don't know if that's the best idea right now, if I'm being honest."

"Like I said, I don't know what's happened. But," he looked down at the shards of porcelain on the table between you, "you don't just go breaking tea cups over anyone."

You laughed then, or maybe it was a half-sob, but it wasn't calculated and it would've felt good, had the weight in your chest not been still weighing down on you.

"And," he continued. "He ... Potter ... the way he is around you ... you're obviously not just 'anyone' to him either."

At his words and the genuinely considerate look in his eyes, you felt aggravated at yourself. Here you were, sitting in a tea shop with the kind of guy any girl would dream of getting to have a first date with, and you'd ruined it.

"Thanks, Sebastian," you said, "but I can't ask you to talk about this with me. It's not fair to you." You stood up from your seat on shaky legs and took James's jacket in your hands. You didn't think you had it in you to put it on again, no matter how chilly it'd gotten outside. "And I hope you don't hate me for ruining this date."

Sebastian shook his head. "I don't. Trust me."

You smiled at him, though you were sure you still looked insane from all the crying you'd done. "Don't worry about walking me all the way back, I'll be alright. And I think I'd prefer to be alone right now anyway."

"Right." Sebastian tilted his head at you. "Is at least to the door alright?"

You gave in, because he was still so charming, and he placed a stack of coins on the table. You were sure there was some extra money there as well for the teacup you'd broken, and you couldn't even argue with him because you didn't know if you had it in you after the morning you'd had.

He opened the door and you both left, standing idly outside the shop, the wind still energetic and unforgiving.

"For what it's worth," Sebastian began before you could bid him goodbye. "I don't think anyone could ever hate you. Especially not Potter."

You swallowed, grateful for his words and also hating the way they settled in your throat. Before you could say anything more, he tipped his head at you in goodbye and walked off. Then you did too, though you really didn't have a plan of what you would do next.

Your body seemed to drag itself all the way back to Hogwarts. The walk was probably no more than ten or so minutes but it felt eternal as you'd spent every second of it trying to escape the acid rainstorm of your mind's muddied thoughts. That, along with trying not to cry for the third time that day.

Your footsteps pattered slowly into the empty common room and up the stairs to your equally empty dorm, and you remembered with a sigh that nearly everyone was still enjoying their day at Hogsmeade. It was a blessing and a curse, giving you some solitude but also meaning you wouldn't see your friends for hours.

You'd spent the rest of the day in bed, doing some homework from time to time but mainly just letting your mind wander wherever it wanted to because you didn't have the energy to stop it—that meant you spent an aggravatingly long amount of time thinking about James.

You were angry at him, so angry, because he had all this time to tell you how he was feeling and didn't; not until you were about to go on a date with another boy, one that was ruined anyway.

But you were also frightened because you didn't know how you were supposed to come back from this. Your hands shook and your mind whirled as you realized that you'd have to speak to James again eventually—he was your best friend. But the more you thought about it, you didn't even know if that could still be the case after everything that'd happened.

What if he hated you now? What if you'd ruined everything with him, just like you'd spent all those nights fearing you would, and you'd lost him for good? If there were answers to your questions, you weren't sure you wanted to hear them just yet.

Soon enough the door to your dorm rattled, the hours slipping past you in your state of worry, and Lily and Marlene appeared in the doorway. They still had the ghosts of laughter on their faces that paused at their noticing you.

"Hey you," Marlene sang, an expectant grin tugging at her lips. "So? How did it go?" When she entered the room far enough to notice you on your bed, still in your dress from earlier with your makeup surely ruined, she stilled. "Oh no." She put her bag down on the ground next to her.

Lily turned towards you both curiously. "What happened?"

You ran both of your hands over your face, grimacing as some of the mascara that'd run down your cheeks revealed itself on your fingers. " 'What didn't happen' is a better question, I suppose."

The two girls came to sit with you on your bed and, for the first time that day, you verbally went through all that had happened since you left their side that morning, including your mess of a date and all that James had said to you right before it. It took more effort than you would've liked just to keep your voice steady, but that didn't stop them both from giving you achingly sympathetic looks the whole time you spoke, mixed with both fury and shock. When you finished, you felt like you were out of breath. A silence vibrated through the air before either of them spoke.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked, and that question broke you just like you swore it would when it was asked to you earlier. You looked down at the dress you still wore, trying to fight off the emotion trying to claw its way up your throat, and Lily took you in her arms before it could. Marlene joined in then too and you let yourself be held by them as you felt like breaking.

They didn't rush or make any effort to pull away until you did, though you did after a moment, knowing there was more to talk about that they were too nice to pry over.

"We don't have to talk about it anymore if you don't want to." Marlene tipped her head at you concernedly.

You shook your head. "No, I'm alright now. I think." You shrugged. "And maybe talking about it will help."

The blonde nodded slowly. "So, what exactly did Potter say to you?"

You blinked slowly, finding it all too easy to recall the conversation. "He said that he hasn't been able to stop thinking about the kiss since it happened. And that it ... meant something to him."

Lily looked at you pensively. "And did you tell him about your feelings for him too?"

"I-" you went still, blinking at the redhead, who stared back at you with the slightest shadow of a smile toying at her lips. A mixture of both guilt and embarrassment clawed in your chest as you fought for words. "You knew?"

She tipped her head at you, the forgiving look she gave you speaking volumes, and you internally thanked Merlin for blessing you with the best friends in the bloody world.

"Of course I knew," she chided. "Anyone with a pair of eyes can see that you both are in love with each other." At her choice of words something fluttered in your stomach uncomfortably.

"I wouldn't say love is the right word for whatever he says he feels for me," you responded. Lily and Marlene shared a loaded look from either side of you as you spoke dismissively. "Clearly it's not the same as how he feels about you, Lily."

"Yeah," she said, meaning a thousand dizzying things. "It's not."

She looked at you meaningfully then, and you found it hard to not wilt under her gaze. You shifted your eyes to somewhere else and felt even worse as they landed on the brown jacket that sat on the end of your bed. Like she noticed your thoughts right away, Marlene stood up and picked up the coat.

"I'm going to go get rid of this." When you lifted a weak brow at her she added, "I mean, return it to him."

Lily shook her head from next to you and you both watched your friend leave the dorm room. She gestured with her head for you to follow her as she got up and went into the bathroom. You did, scaring yourself as you got a glimpse of your appearance in the mirror. Your eyes were still tinted pink and your makeup was a mess.

Lily had you sit atop the toilet as she wet a towel and began wiping away at your cheeks. The fabric was warm on your skin, her touch light and gentle.

"So, what are you gonna do?" she asked the question as she stepped away to re-wet the cloth and you shrugged, already knowing what she was referring to.

"I don't know." You focused on the feeling of the towel on your face. "At this point, I think I'm just not meant for all this dating stuff. I mean, first with the rumors, and then with that girl harassing me about Sebastian in the library. I practically cried when he tried to kiss me, for Merlin's sake."

Lily paused her actions, skin going taught around her brows. "He tried to kiss you? When you were clearly upset?"

You looked down at your lap. "I was hiding my emotions the whole time, laughing at all his jokes. Maybe I felt bad for ruining the date, I don't know. All he did was lean slightly forward and I freaked out. If I'd been feeling better, I ... I would've wanted to. Kiss him, I mean. He was incredibly sweet the entire time, even after I cried and broke that tea cup. But all I could think about was bloody James the entire time."

"Well of course you were thinking about him." Lily stood back up fully and ran the towel she'd used underneath the sink. "He just dumped all this emotional stuff on you after hardly speaking to you all week. Of course you're going to be thinking about it."

You stared at her back. "So you don't think it means anything else?"

"Well," she turned back around and leaned against the sink. "Would you have been thinking about him even if he hadn't confessed to you this morning?"

Your mouth feathered open and then shut itself closed at her question, and you kept your gaze low. You could feel the answer your heart already knew fighting to make its way past your lips.

Before time forced an answer from you, the sound of Marlene's footsteps made their way into the bathroom as she re-entered your dorm. It took her a second to find the two of you before she was sticking her head in the bathroom.

"Lupin and Black are downstairs asking to see you." Your eyes subtly widened at her words automatically. "Don't worry, I'll tell them to fuck off."

"No," you stopped her. "I should talk to them." You felt peeved that the idea of seeing them made you so nervous; that was exactly what you didn't want to happen if things went wrong with James. "They aren't the reason for all this. They're still my friends." You stood up. "And maybe they're not even gonna ask about James."

As soon as you went down the stairs to the common room with Marlene and Lily in tow, your hopes were easily shattered. The two boys sat at the couch in front of the now crackling fireplace that filled the room with warm light and turned towards you with foreboding expressions.

"What the hell happened between you and James?"

You would've been mad at Sirius's frankness, but you were at least grateful they both weren't looking at you with painful sympathy like everyone else that day had. You could always count on them for that.

"Hello to you too."

The completely sober looks on their faces were something you weren't used to seeing, making you slow your steps as you sat down on one of the seats next to them. Marlene and Lily stood on either side of you like security guards.

"Seriously," Sirius insisted. "James has never been like this before. We don't even know where he is right now."

"He's probably out on the Quidditch pitch." Your voice came as a surprise to you as the words left your lips, small but steadily confident. You ignored the way they looked at you. "I thought James would have told you all what happened by now."

"He did," said Remus, and you felt your heart picking up in your chest. "But that doesn't mean we're not confused about it."

You stared hardly back at them both. "I'm just as confused about it as you guys are, alright?"

"Well, maybe you should go and talk to him," Sirius insisted. "He's pretty upset."

"And?" Marlene scoffed from behind you. "Are you saying that it's her fault?"

Sirius glared at the girl behind you. "All we're saying is that James disappeared after we got off the carriage, and the next time we saw him he looked like he'd been crying. Crying for Merlin's sake."

A feeling unidentifiable knawed at you—something like surprise, something like guilt—and you looked down at your lap, hating yourself but also hating the situation more.

Marlene only groaned. "Oh come on. You really think it's fair to be trying to make her feel bad for poor Potter after all that's happened?"

You looked with trepidation at the faces of your two friends on the couch and then turned to look at her. "Marlene..." you coaxed, but she just took a step forward to stand next to you.

"No, I mean it." She pointed a finger at Sirius and Remus. "You lot have some nerve wailing about Potter's bloody feelings to her. You weren't the ones who had to comfort her every time she came back heartbroken, practically in tears, over Potter's sheer blindness at the amazing girl right in front of him. And you definitely weren't the ones fighting off feral girls who decided to harass her in the library over the bloody rumors everyone is spreading. But you didn't even know about that, did you?"

You felt heat rushing to your face the more she spoke, but you didn't think she was anywhere near finished. In all the chaos from the last day, you hadn't told them anything about the library incident. You also hadn't ever truly discussed your feelings for James with them, but that was more your own fault than theirs, you supposed. You looked over at your friends' faces again and they were peering at you quizzically. You felt too much like hiding.

"So what if Potter's upset?" Marlene continued, voice truly raising now. "He has no right to be. Not after he went and ruined her date with Vance all because the boy has bloody awful timing. It's right selfish if you ask me. She deserves better."

When she finished, you'd all gone quiet, but not for any reason you would've hoped. You looked up with dread and found the face of the boy that'd been replaying endlessly in your mind the entire morning. You felt your breathing shallow in your chest at the sight of him.

James was standing there near the door of the common room, brown hair wet from the shower he'd probably taken after going out on the Quidditch pitch—just as you'd predicted he would—and his chest rose and fell beneath a fresh white T-shirt. Despite that, he didn't look like he'd been doing much better than you, and you could see the weight behind his eyes even from where you sat.

He'd heard Marlene's words, no doubt, but the question was how much he'd heard. You prayed with all your might that he hadn't been witness to her words about you crying over him in your dorm. Your cheeks were heating and you wanted to curse Marlene but couldn't, firstly because you loved her to pieces and secondly because you couldn't help but think over her words and find that she wasn't completely wrong. But that didn't mean staring at James right then was any easier.

He scanned over a now silent Marlene from beside you, probably Lily as well, and then you. An ocean of thoughts and painful images of words shared through raised voices rippled unforgiving through your head. His expression revealed little to nothing, but you knew he was thinking about the same things you were.

The air was thick with words unsaid, or maybe with the words that were said, you couldn't be sure, but you found it hard to breathe. Your lips parted, but you said nothing. He didn't either, his jaw ticking before he broke his painful gaze away from you and stalked off up the stairs and to his dorm, out of sight.

You felt like you could breathe again, albeit with some strain, but the atmosphere didn't become any less tense.

"Look," Sirius began, and you didn't know how much more conversation you could take. "We-, and don't blow up at us again McKinnon," he gave her a pointed but nervous look. "Me and Remus haven't been there for everything—you're right. But we've also seen things from James's side. He's more confused than he's probably been about anything in his life, and it's not for just any reason. He's scared." He looked pointedly at you, and you'd never seen him so serious. "And we know you are too. I get that. But if this is how things are going to be from now on, we can't just sit here and let it happen."

"What do you want me to do?" You almost begged as your exasperation began to bleed through to your voice. "Just march up there and tell him I'm ready to be with him?" The way they were staring back at you made you think they were about to tell you 'yes.' You let a stressed breath out, shaking your head. "It's not that easy. I wish it was, but it's not, alright?"

When they said nothing back, you continued. "I've been hurting over these ... feelings ... for years. He doesn't just get to realize he liked it when we kissed a week ago and have me. It can't work like that."

A dull silence rippled through the room before anyone said anything more.

Remus sighed and looked straight at you, his eyes achingly genuine. "At the end of the day, you and James are still best friends. You've been attached at the hip since you were kids. See how long you last trying to avoid each other."

You swallowed and your stomach almost seemed to hurt at the sound of Remus's words. You didn't know what to say back to him, but you didn't need to, because soon the portrait door was opening again and Peter strolled in, looking like he was walking atop clouds.

"Hey you guys," he greeted, a smile gracing his face with his hands in his pockets. "My date went spectacularly. We even went to- is something wrong?" Peter studied each of your expressions and you felt horrible at the fact that you'd forgotten all about him and his date. He frowned over at you. "What did I miss?"

You sighed. You didn't even know how to begin to answer that question.

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[lolahauri]

: ̗̀➛ Sebastian: Smut Alphabet 🔞

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Considering he’s the sub/bottom, you’ll probably being doing more of the aftercare.

He does love to hold you till you fall asleep though. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Besides your hips/waist (fluff alphabet), i think he’d be a tits guy.

Big or small, he loves watching them bounce when your riding him. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Loves cumming on your stomach or inside you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Lowkey would share you with Sam if you wanted. 

He’s kind of a cuck.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

None. You were his first, that’s part of the reason he’s so needy and dtf, he just can’t believe someone as hot as you really wants to fuck him. 

(Plus all those years of pent up sexual frustration)

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Cowgirl!

He’s obsessed with you dominating him and taking control.

Mating press.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Very serious, you won’t ever catch him making a joke.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Darker than his hair and straight.

Keeps it nicely trimmed for you.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Pretty intimate. I wouldn’t say he’s romantic though.

But he’ll definitely be telling you how good your making him feel, how beautiful you are, feeling up your whole body and worshipping it. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

When he was single: daily. Either watching porn, or thinking about you.

Now: only when you aren’t in the mood (or if you wanna watch him)

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Breeding, mommy/daddy, femdom, edging, orgasm control, praise, dirty talk, hair pulling, biting, mutual masturbation/watching each other masturbate, dry humping, oral fixation.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Your bed or the couch. 

When he was living with his parents: his desk or bed.

Imagine sucking him off or cockwarming him while he’s working. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Anything about you, really.

He’s pretty easy to arouse. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Degrading/verbal humiliation.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Equally loves both.

Cumming down your throat is amazing, but he also loves to serve you and make you feel good.

Honestly once he starts going down on you, he won't stop until you tell him to. He loves it so much.

A lot of times he'll get so horny from it that he'll grind on the bed until he cums.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He’s a needy little bitch, so fast and hard. 

He fucks like a rabbit in heat. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Loves them, he’d have one anytime you want.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Mostly down to experiment, i don’t think he’s into anything extreme or really painful though.

He’d be down for some mild CBT maybe.

Risk wise, he’d def fuck you in the bathhouse locker room. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can last quite a while if he’s being edged.

Otherwise he cums a little quick. 

But it’s kind of adorable, you just feel so good and look so hot that he can’t help but cum in just a few minutes.

But to make up for his quick finish, he can go multiple rounds.

Would absolutely overstimulate himself until he’s crying if it means he gets to stay inside you.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t own any, but if you had some he’d absolutely use them. (on you or him)

Like… 

Vibrators, cock rings, fleshlights, etc... 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He can’t tease, he sucks at it.

But man he loves it when you do it. 

Moving past him and “accidently” grinding your ass on his crotch >>

Doing little things throughout the day to turn him on, just to make him wait till that night to get off. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

So loud and vocal.

Lots of whines, whimpers, and moans. 

Probably a lot of begging too <3

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Prefers hentai over "real" porn.

Imagine jerking him off while he’s watching hentai!?

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

About 6.5 inches and average girth, maybe leaning to the thicker side.

A little veiny and curved upwards.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Semi-high, he’d love to fuck at least once a day, even if it’s just a quickie.

But he’ll happily accommodate to your sex drive, whether it’s lower or higher.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He waits until your ready for bed.

Holds you like a teddy bear as you two fall asleep.