#maybe its time to introduce folk metal to my collection

[roley-poley-foley]

For those who haven't seen Monkey Man yet, just picture Dev Patel killing bad guys to this ^^

[nightingaelic]

FO4 bots meeting FNV bots. Nick, Codsworth, DiMA, Ada, maybe the gen3 synths but they're pretty much just humans so idk... Yes Man, Victor, Muggy, ED-E, FISTO, etc. This is kind of a vague request so just do whatever you want with it *shrugs*

The AI's voice echoed warmly through the large conference room at the Tops Casino, hushing the assembled crowd. "I'm Mr. New Vegas, and I want to welcome you all, dear listeners, to the 41st National Robotics Expo. Vegas has been hosting this convention since 2037, and even though we skipped a few years, we're so happy to welcome it again. Let's get back to business."

A smattering of applause with a distinct metallic edge followed, which the automated DJ paused for before continuing in a tone as warm as the desert outside. "As most exhibitions do, let's begin by introducing our various delegations. We'll start with the home team, Securitrons by RobCo: RobCo Industries, automation designed and built for the private sector."

The Securitron in the back of the room with a cowboy on its screen waved. "Present!" he piped up in a southern drawl.

The robot next to him, identical in every way except for the woman's face on its screen, patted his arm. "Thank you, Victor."

"Yeah, thanks Victor!" added the Securitron with a permanent happy face on its screen. "It's not often I'm let out of my room, but it sure is nice to see another part of the hotel!"

Nick Valentine, who was sitting in the front with his arms crossed, looked down at the miniature Securitron that was pacing next to his seat. "Shouldn't you be back there with them?"

"With the House Industries bunch?" The cartoon-faced coffee mug on its screen looked up at him with an unchanging smile, but every word dripped with contempt. "Don't lump me in with them, gumshoe."

Nick frowned. "What's your name again?"

The robot gestured at its screen. "I'll give you three guesses."

"Cheeky little-"

"Ssshh." DiMA looked over from Nick's other side. "We're guests here, Nick."

"Next up we have the RobCo eyebots, both classic design and Duraframe-upgraded models," Mr. New Vegas continued, completely oblivious to the chatter in the room. A pair of eyebots on the left side of the room, one in bright Atom Cats paint and the other with haphazard shielding including a car license plate, began bobbing up and down and beeping ecstatically. A third model, outfitted with some kind of modification that crackled with blue energy, let loose a sonic blast that shook dust off the ceiling. The crowd tittered, but the courier accompanying the license-plated eyebot just laughed.

"I know folks, I know, it's a day full of excitement, but let's get through our list," Mr. New Vegas said smoothly, evidently worried that the eyebot was going to shake the room's speakers loose. "Moving on to the assaultrons, something you don't see often out here in the Mojave. Welcome, ladies."

"The pleasure's all mine," replied KL-E-0 from her seat behind Nick. The Goodneighbor trader was reclining precariously on the conference room chair, with her frame's considerable weight straining the piece of furniture's limits. She didn't appear particularly concerned though, given the way she was examining her claws the way an uninterested woman examines her nails.

"Preliminary adjustments to statistical models complete," added PAM, who was seated next to KL-E-0 in a much more attentive position. "Commencing introduction. I was, am, and will most likely be an assaultron."

"An astute calculation," agreed Ada. She was standing next to PAM and KL-E-0, as her own modified frame would not let her sit down.

"Objection." A mechanical voice rang out from the back. "Petition to acquire the modified assaultron model into the protectron class. Model clearly uses more protectron parts than assaultron."

"Stand down, Mr. First Mate," ordered the exasperated sentry bot parked next to the protectron that had spoken up. "We must show a certain measure of decorum, in these waters."

Ada rotated her head all the way around to face the first mate. "Acknowledged. I am willing to re-categorize myself if requested."

"Baby, don't let him talk you into anything you're not comfortable with," KL-E-0 replied, uncrossing her metal legs.

"Next we have the workhorses of the robotic world, the protectrons," Mr. New Vegas cut in, once again oblivious.

"Sound off!" the first mate ordered.

"Howdy pardner! Primm Slim at your service!"

"ナンニシマスカ?"

"I'm NIRA, your friendly Nuka-World Informational Robotic Assistant. Is this your first visit to Nuka-World?"

"Fully Integrated Security Technetronic Officer active and reporting for duty."

Nick made a face after the last one. "Fisto? What kind of-"

"And rounding out the RobCo set, our sentry bot representative, who I understand is responsible for our Commonwealth friends' safe arrival."

"A fine voyage for a fine vessel!" Captain Ironsides said jovially. "Our mission was a glorious success, the first of many for the pride of our navy!"

"Thank you, Captain," Mr. New Vegas replied, with a hint of amusement in his announcer's voice. "Now for RobCo's greatest partner and competitor, General Atomics International: The finest industrial robots in the world!"

The collection of Mister Handy and Miss Nanny robots on the right side of the room perked up and began applauding. "Spot on!" Codsworth said, at the front of the crowd.

"Let's start where General Atomics started, with the classic Mister Handy model. I see we have a few who made the trip with the USS Constitution."

"Present!" Codsworth answered.

"Fresh lemonade here!" cried Deezer at the same time, attempting to distribute dented cans to everyone within reach of him.

"Don't burden this lot wiv your swill, Deezer," said Whitechapel Charlie, collecting the cans as quickly as they were handed out.

"Wonderful, wonderful. Now let's hear it for the ladies again, our elegant Miss Nanny robots!"

"Hello!" said Pearl and Miss Edna, bobbing in place and prettily snapping their little claws.

"Merci beaucoup," added Curie, who was seated with the group, despite having shed her Miss Nanny frame in favor of a synth body months ago. Nick grinned.

"Objection." The first mate, despite not having a face, appeared absolutely scandalized by this development. Captain Ironsides was having none of it, however, and bopped the protectron on the head with his minigun arm.

"Maybe I should look into getting a synth upgrade," Mr. New Vegas mused. "Finishing out General Atomics are the robobrains, once human like any wastelander, now showcasing the best in technology that pre-war America can offer."

"Thank you, thank you so much," said Gilda Broscoe, who breezed up to the room's stage. She had decorated her shiny brain dome for the occasion with an enormous hat sprouting peacock feathers, and she grabbed the stage's microphone with practiced ease. It wasn't on, but that didn't appear to be enough to stop her. "Thank you all so much for this opportunity. I'd like to thank my studio, Starlight Cinemas, and of course my beloved Keith McKinney-"

"Get off the stage!" yelled the other present robobrain, Jezebel. "My orders from the Mechanist didn't include listening to you drone on about your fantastic former life!"

"-of course, I feel I have to thank my dear Santiago, Santiago, you were such an inspiration even if you couldn't bear the thought of us parting-"

Curie shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "Mademoiselle, might it not be better to wait and see-"

"Get off the stage, you old bat!" yelled Muggy, who appeared to share Jezebel's feelings.

"-and I'd like to thank that bitch Vera Keyes for passing on the role so that I could give it my own, personal touch. Thank you everyone, and good night!" Gilda let go of the microphone and curtseyed as best she could with treads. A few robots clapped, while the courier in the back stiffened and looked at the robobrain actress with wide eyes.

"Only one category left, folks, and then we can start the planned festivities," Mr. New Vegas went on. "Now for a Commonwealth Institute of Technology original, the prototype synth model. Only two in the world, and we're lucky enough to have both of them with us today."

DiMA turned around to wave to the other bots, while Nick sank deeper into his chair and pulled his hat down. "Christ."

"Objec-" The first mate didn't even get the full word out before Captain Ironsides bonked him again.

"And that concludes the introductory portion of the expo!" Mr. New Vegas paused. "Unless there's anyone I've inadvertently left out."

"Me!"

The curtain on the stage behind Gilda flew open, revealing a toaster placed on top of a stool. Gilda let out a theatrical gasp and rolled backwards, giving way to the appliance's maniacal laughter.

"Ahahaha! I am online once again!" the toaster cried. "Tremble, world, before my electric heating coil of doom! You thought you could silence me by drowning me in a bathtub, but I swore you would rue the day you had bread and no way to toast it!"

The courier in the back jumped out of their chair. "Oh shit."

"That's right, buddy, the day of bread has come!" With a ding, two slices of C-4 plastic explosive popped up from the toaster's slots. "Cower before my nuclear fire!"

Mild panic swept the room of robots. Gilda fainted dead away on the stage. Nick eased up off his chair. "Talk about delusions of grandeur. I've seen more intimidating appliances in a scrap heap."

"How dare you!" the toaster screamed. "I am the scourge of all small appliances and the bogeyman that keeps lesser toasters awake at night!"

"You're the scourge of breakfast, I'll give you that," Nick answered with a smirk. He tried not to draw attention to the courier that was inching their way to the stage. "But you're low on the ladder of bogeymen, compared to the ones I've dealt with."

"NAME THE ONES MORE FEARSOME THAN I!" the toaster demanded.

"An interesting development here at the Tops, folks," Mr. New Vegas commented. "The crowd appears to have been taken hostage by a rogue toaster."

Nick started counting off adversaries on his metal hand. "Well, there's the Rust Devils, the Gunners a few times, the Pack and all of their angry critters, the Disciples and the Operators, can't forget the Triggermen and Skinny Malone, plus his doll Darla..."

The toaster let out another frenzied laugh. "Nothing but bags of meat, easily toasted in-"

Its speech died mid-sentence, and the courier emerged from behind the curtain holding its electrical cord. "That takes care of that."

Nick winked at them. "Good on you, kid. Should we get on with the shindig?"

[misterewrites]

A Part of Something Bigger (Welcome to the Underground!)

Hello everyone! E here, hoping you are safe and sound and doing good! The new chapter of the Underground is here and I'm excited for this and the next chapter. I am so happy I finally get to reveal something I’ve had in my head since I first started creating the Underground! Man am I cheek E. oh puns, I’m terrible. 

:D

I hope you are all have a great week! Stay safe, wash your hands, take care of each other, get the vaccine if you can, push for companies to give it world wide all that jazz. Feel free to comment (I love feedback) tell your friends, reblog I appreciate it all!

If you’re new and curious what the heck I’m talking about, feel free to check out the whole story and have access to my other work right in the link below (cuz I’m 95% Tumblr has shadowbanned me) 

https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrE42/pseuds/MrE42

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27814297/chapters/68094967 (first chapter)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27814297/chapters/78927370 (latest chapter) 

Have a great week, E is out!

Summary:  Turns out Oliver is a part of the Choir, a secret organization that operates within the Underground. Something big is happening tonight and It's up to Oliver and his allies to ensure it does not. However, the bard has to figure out what's going on before anything else.

-----

Oliver had been many things in the 18 years of his begrudging existence: An orphan, a thief, a con-kid, hopelessly in love, a scout, fry cook that one week and an aspiring minstrel. Many masks and different roles to survive each new day.

The one he took a quiet pride in was being a member of the Choir, a secret organization whose goal was to keep the Underground free from malicious and devious intent.

Every society had their dark, treacherous shadows where evil did its business (Oliver assumed. He only really ever lived in the Underground but you know universal constants and such.) The Choir’s purpose was to ensure those plans never came to fruition.

Rather than being an openly known identity, the Choir was more a loose collection of independent agents operating under secrecy. The organization employed any and everyone who was willing to fight for the cause, each in their own way: Merchants passed coded information, tavernkeepers offered safe havens, those with some level of magical proficiency gathered to study abnormal phenomenon. Fighters fought, clerics healed with lords and ladies used their influence for the greater good.

Sometimes, as is the case now, one individual was too limited for what was required of the organization’s purpose. In these rare moments, agents were granted permission to request help, often leaving hidden messages and imagery for other wandering members to respond to.

That’s what brought Oliver here to this dark alley in the middle of the night: When he first arrived to the capital, he caught sight of the coded symbol asking for any Choir member to lend their skill set to a mission tonight. No details added but that was par for the course.

Terri was the first to recover, her slivers eyes wide with wonder “A soprano? No joke?!Flora, he’s like you!”

Terri was tall, taller than anyone else here. She wore a red vest with torn off sleeves, probably because her muscles were too thick to actually allow them to exist in the first place. Her long jet black hair was elegantly tied into braids with her dark blue leggings tucked into thick hiking boots.

Flora pursed her lips thoughtfully, irises of lavender giving Oliver a curious look “A fellow magic user? Interesting. Wizard?”

“Bard” Oliver corrected “You?”

“Druid.” Flora spoke before drifting into an uncomfortable silence. Oliver suspected she wasn’t impressed by his response.

Flora seemed unassuming but Oliver knew better than to be lured in by appearances: Long silvery hair with petals of green and yellow flowers scattered within. She wore a white blouse with splotches of brown dirt and a long green skirt. Her feet were bare and free to be soiled by the floor.

Terri rushed over to the petrified Tyrell, dragging him into a bone crunching hug “Tyrell here is a baritone like me!”

Tyrell, the youngest beside Oliver, shifted his brown eyes away from anyone’s gaze. He wore rather well kept clothes: A tunic of purple tucked under a leather vest, his leggings were dark gray that blended fairly well in the darkness. His footwear seemed a little too fancy to be workman’s shoes.

“Fighters” Oliver nodded in understanding “Always useful. And you mysterious stranger in the darkness?”

The cloaked figure had pulled back deeper into the shadows, red eyes gleaming in the shades of night. They were trying to hard to hide their appearance but Oliver caught sight of a smooth featureless bronze face. Metallic armor of a matching color and sheen covered the rest of their body, an automaton it seems.

“You may call me Sel. I’m a tenor.” the figure responded, their voice tinged with scratchy static.

“You are going very useful. Lockpicking?”

Sel shrugged casually “Among other less savory techniques. As per usual for tenors.”

Oliver nodded “Okay, fill me in.”

Flora took a step forward, pulling a letter out of her pocket as she did so “Are you aware of one Reiner Brambleoak?”

“Oh fucking hell” Oliver rubbed his eyes tiredly “Him again? What’s he planning this time: Gonna burn an orphanage? Or maybe sell moldy food to the poor? Wait, I know!” Oliver snapped his finger “He’s going to be a terrible piece of shit.”

“Right on the money!” Terri growled.

Sel let out a mechanical click “He is planning to tear down several homes in West Haven.”

Oliver narrowed his eyes “I thought it was illegal to tear down homes in that area?”

“Not if the owners signed them over.” Flora explained “Then he would have the authority to do whatever he wished with them.”

“Let me guess, he tricked them?”

Terri flexed her muscles angrily “His representatives would change languages and double talk when they spoke to the poor folks. Most hadn’t the slightest idea what was going on and the orc thugs his people brought didn’t exactly make them feel warm and safe.”

“So.” Oliver stretched his arms “He’s strong armed his way into property, going to evict helpless folks onto the street and probably fill them with his own thugs to get the rest of the neighborhood to fall in line.”

“Unless we stop him.” Sel spoke with righteous fury.

“Tonight.” Oliver chimed in “Throwing another party?”

“You are good.” Tyrell whistled.

Oliver gave a playful wink “Naturally. What’s the plan?”

Flora reached into her pack and handed Oliver a letter: it was written in such a fancy hand he swore he was getting a headache just looking at it.

“One for each of us.” Flora explained, distributing the rest to the others “A fellow Choir member secured these tonight’s mission.”

“Helpful. Alright here’s the plan….”

“Wait” Flora interrupted “Who said you are in charge bard?”

“Me” Oliver countered with a grin “Because I’ve been to these types of festivities. Have any of you?”

Flora opened her mouth then promptly closed it, irritation in her glance. Tyrell gave a sheepish but unhelpful smile, Sel remained silent while Terri gave a thoughtful scratch of her chin.

“Thought so.” Oliver tried to keep the smugness out of his voice “Look we just need to work together for tonight.”

“Agreed.” Flora spoke with a softness that did not match her glare.

Sel inched closer to the group “What is the plan Oliver?”

“Where’s the party? Merchant Ward? I assume he’s using his office to host it.”

“Correct” Sel confirmed “His office has been chosen as the venue. He claims to be throwing the party as some sort of fundraiser for a charity that is no doubt a front for his illegal operations.”

Terri huffed, crossing her arms furiously “Probably making some more deals to trick people out of their hard earn money.”

“Without a doubt” Oliver agreed “But without any hard proof, we’re not taking him down tonight. Our mission is to ensure those contracts he forced people to sign mysteriously disappear.”

“Will that actually stop him?” Tyrell frowned unhappily “What’s stop him from forging new ones? Or just bullying people again?”

“He can’t forge new ones” Oliver explained carefully “They’re a special type of document only found here in Haven’s Nest. You can only get them from city hall and they’re magically enchanted to be untamperable with. He’ll need to get the ones he has to city hall on open court day which I assume is soon.”

“Indeed. Tomorrow in fact.”

Oliver continued on “So since open court day is the only day any major changes are allowed to be introduced to the city, if we grab them he’ll have to wait a month for another chance of snatching up that land. He’ll no doubt try to bully the folks again but now that they know what he’s up to, hopefully they’ll won’t be as easily pressured and if a few rough looking folks who can take punches and give them back start hanging around the neighborhood when his goons come knocking again…”

“They’re gonna be less eager” Terri cracked her knuckles cheerfully, already savoring the feel of bruised skin and broken bones that would bless her hands.

Oliver caught Tyrell’s eyes “One problem at a time. If you look at the mountain, you’re going to get scared.”

Tyrell nodded timidly in agreement.

“So.” Sel’s voice crackled with curiosity “What is the plan bard?”

Oliver closed his eyes, mentally mapping out the Brambleoak bank: three stories of corrupted, immoral finance who preyed on the helpless and lost. He could still see the faded green hue and cracked paint of the building in his mind’s eye. The ground floor would no doubt be where the bulk of the party would be taking place: a large space with an elevated stage normally reserved for long winded speeches could easily repurposed for a band or some sort of entertainment. His guests would range from any and everyone with any amount of influence or wealth. The second floor were the offices of his lecherous employees while his office took up the entirety of the third floor.

“Alright” Oliver spoke after a moment “I have a good idea what to expect. We’re going to break up into two teams.”

Everyone stared him expectedly.

Oliver gestured to Terri and Tyrell “You two are going to hang out at the bar across the street: The Stinkeye. Charming place, ran by a former pirate captain. Sunday is sea shanty night I think."

“Whoa, wait a minute” Terri grumbled unhappily “I am not letting Flora go into that place without me! It’s enemy turf and I don’t feel comfortable with the idea."

Flora took Terri’s hand within her own “Agreed sweetie.”

“Look this isn’t exactly a fist loaded, knives out situation. Any sort of brawling inside will be dealt with swiftly and painfully. Brambleoak doesn’t like anything scaring away the prey and causing a scene inside won’t accomplish anything. Outside, however.”

Terri’s eyes knowingly sparkled, Tyrell just looked dumbfounded.

Oliver gestured with his hand, muttering a phrase under his breath as magic formed around his hand in a golden light. A small image appeared in his palm: A heavily scarred elf with ashy blonde hair, one eye a brilliant forest green the other dull and cloudy. He wore an elegant officer’s uniform, dark green with various medals pinned to his chest with a long flowing red cape that trailed behind.

Oliver opened mouth to speak but Terri’s low snarl beat him to the punch.

“Lea Foot.”

“Acquaintance I guess?””

Flora nodded, gently squeezing Terri’s hand to get her to calm down “Lea has been a constant thorn in our sides. I believe he suspects we are a part of some greater organization. He has never seen us but he sends his underlings to bully us.”

“So I don’t need to explain his whole mercenaries for hire deal. Been exclusive to Brambleoak for a while now.”

“Can I punch him?” Terri murmured darkly.

“Yes, can she?” Flora chimed in, unable to keep the plead out of her voice.

Oliver shook his head “Maybe but we’ll see. He’s gotta show up at some point but I doubt he’ll be there right at the start. Likes to push old people around, probably eat a child or two before ‘working.’ Your job is to keep him distracted at all costs. He’s a sick man that likes to watch a good fight and the longer he’s out there, the better chance we’ll have.”

Sel tilted their head quizzically “Why is it important to keep him outside?”

“Basically” Oliver cracked his fingers “He’s very perceptive and the person most likely to catch our plan in action. His crew is made up of a nobodies with a perchance for cruelty and a thirst for violence but Lea is an old hand. Keeping himself outside is the best chance for success and if you guys accidentally get too close and managed to stray a hit his way…”

Terri chuckled manically the idea. Tyrell just looked sick.

“Meanwhile Flora, Sel and I will be inside. We’ll be looking for a chance to get Sel into the stairway so he can break into Brambleoak’s office. Without any sort of information, there’s no point to flesh out a full plan but we’ll make it up as we go. It’s a giant party of people who think they’re special. Shouldn’t be too hard to cause some drama and distractions.”

Flora said silent for a moment before speaking up “It’s not a lot to work with but admittedly better than anything I would’ve come up with.”

“Agreed.” Sel added “Without proper intel, it would be pointless to attempt to formulate any sort of long term plan. This works best to our strengths. Wait and create an opportunity,”

“That’s on us.” Oliver cut in “Your job is to get in and out. Preferably without being seen but who knows what will happen.”

The group, previously lost and anxious, glowed with renew sense of purpose and determination: 10 minutes ago they had no plan and now they were ready to do what they signed up for.

“Get ready team” Oliver gestured about “We leave in five.”

Everyone broke away to prepare for the mission: Terri cracked every bone in her body, ready for any brawl she would start. Sel slunk back into the shadows and remained still among the darkness. Tyrell held leaned unevenly against the brick building nearby, trying to steady his breathing.

Flora, on the other hand, approached Oliver, her voice dropping to a whisper.

“Oliver.”

“Flora.”

“I have a question for you.”

Oliver was confused “I’m not sure what about but go ahead.”

Flora pursed her lips “You were coming from West End, delivering a package to a Choir member out there correct?”

“Yeeeeees.” Oliver unsure where this was going “The old man. Lady Rozalin said it was the upmost importance.”

Flora bit her cheek nervously “Before you left, did you see him?”

His stomach turned cold as he remembered how uneasy he felt the day he left with Archie and Abigail, the chill that ran down his spine “No, why?”

“We haven’t been able to contact him. He is not responding to our wizards long range message spells. We’re…..worried.”

Oliver could feel his skin crawl with anxiety, his pulse raced as a horrible realization dawned on him.

“He’s missing.” Oliver spoke what Flora did not.

She nodded in response “As a high ranking member, he is important to our cause and since you were the last person to see him, the higher ups were wondering if anything suspicious happened the last day you spoke with him.”

Oliver remembered it clearly: The free money, rushing them out the door, his ‘tiredness.’ There was no such thing as free money in his mentor’s eyes and Roland was never known for pushing a guest out of his house or being tired in the middle of the day. He was attempting to get them to leave to prevent something from happening.

“He was acting weird.” Oliver admitted “At the time I found it strange but he gave me little room to argue. Now I’m wishing I had.”

Flora’s face was indifferent but Oliver could hear the sincerity in her voice “I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this. If you need a moment…”

“No” Oliver cut her off quickly “I’m good. We have a mission to do and we need to focus on that now. Afterwards we can talk about finding out what happened to the old man.”

Flora gave a simple nod before wandering over to Terri’s side, lightly kissing her cheek with affection.

Oliver took a deep calming breath: There was no point to let his mind wander, to worry about things out of his control. Even if he wanted to do something, he was needed here and now. Besides the Choir would investigate Roland’s disappearance and there were agents far more experienced than he about.

He would leave it up to them. For the moment he needed to balance out the universe and root out the evil that laid in the shadows.

[taiblogcomics]

I Can’t Pet Force You To Read This One, But...

Hey there, high school crushes. Well, it's finally here. Can you believe it? Yes, counting from the original Xanga site (which, yes, still counts. It's like our own Golden Age publication or apocryphia), this is our 10th anniversary of reviewing comics. That's fantastic. I'm excited, can't you tell? I can tell, since I'm writing this preamble a good two months before the actual anniverary~

So, last year we reviewed the absolute pile of dreck that is Heroes in Crisis. And while that was worth ripping into, I'd rather not spend the 10th anniversary hating on something. I'd like to do something actually meaningful to me. I've teased about this one for many years, probably for as long as I've been doing this blog, and I think it's time we stopped pussyfooting around and reviewed some Garfield. But not just any Garfield. It's finally time, my friends. This... is Garfield's Pet Force.

I dunno how many people will remember this one. Maybe you recall the direct-to-DVD movie adaptation from 2009, or at least advertising for it. I never saw it, but apparently it differs a bit. They also appeared a few times in those Garfield comics from back in the day. We even reviewed a couple (some were on the Xanga blog). But what we're looking at here are the original novellas published between 1997 and 1999. So yeah, these really are from my childhood. And since I've long espoused that Garfield was always funnier 20 years ago, this must be actual premium Garfield content, yeah? By golly, I hope so, because we got five whole books here today. So we should probably get into them~

Book 1: The Outrageous Origin

This is a classic sort of superhero cover. Standard team shot of poses, and that's fine for a first volume. In fact, that's great. Later editions of this would replace the lightning-filled gradient background with a pure white one, but I have this original version. We'll get to specifics about these characters in the meat of the story, but let's talk about the costumes for a bit. Very classic early-'90s sort of look, before the Dark Age kicked in. Reminds me a lot of Jim Lee's X-Men designs, actually. Making all your characters visually distinct is important in a team book. The heavy lean into secondary colours is unusual for heroic characters, but not unwelcome.

So we actually start with a cold open in the superhero universe. This is pretty much to introduce us to the characters as soon as possible, and thus I'll do the same for you here.

*Garzooka, team leader, super strong, has a razor-sharp claw, and can shoot radioactive hairballs from his mouth. That's... at least a unique power, I don't think anyone on the Justice League can do that~ *Odious, the dumb muscle with the accent on the "dumb". Possibly even stronger than Garzooka, and possessing a "super-stretchy stun tongue", an elastic tongue that can scramble the minds of whoever it adheres to. *Starlena, the team girl. She can fly, and she has a siren song that can put those who hear it into a hypnotic trance. Garzooka is the only one immune to its effects, for reasons that are never explained. *Abnermal, the kid-appeal character. He has ice powers, forcefields, and an ill-defined "pester power" that means he can annoy people on a greater scale than normal folks. It's pretty much only used for comic relief, but that could be a brilliant power in the right hands. *Compooky, the brains of the operation. Other than flight, his powers are limited to super intelligence, which means he's usually the exposition guy. There's probably a reason they left him out of the movie adaptation~

You got all that? Don't worry, we'll introduce you again later in the book. What actually happens in the intro chapter isn't really important, it's just setting up the universe. In fact, it's all taking place within Pet Force #99, a comic just enjoyed by Nermal. Yes, we quickly cut over to the main Garfield universe ("our universe", the narrator calls it), where Pet Force is just a comic book. The Garfield gang is all outside, enjoying a cookout prepared by Jon Arbuckle. Nermal is extremely enthused by his comic book, and brags about how he has all 98 previous issues sealed and polybagged, and this one will soon join them. Sorry, Nermal, this came out in 1997, the speculator boom already went bust~

Garfield dismisses comic books as stupid because you can't eat them or use them as a blanket, and declares that none of the stuff that happens in the comic could possibly happen in real life. Uh oh, irony! Because these things can happen, and do! It's a parallel universe, baby! This might be one of my earliest introductions to a "parallel worlds" concept. Much like Earths 1 and 2 in pre-Crisis DC, the events of the comic are essentially the real life adventures of their super-powered counterparts in another dimension. Most of the action in these stories will take place there~

So here's the setup: Vetvix (the parallel equivalent to Liz the veternarian) is an evil sorceress and scientist, who essentially wants to experiment on animals in peace, and possibly subjugate the universe while she's at it. You could argue that Liz is an odd choice for villain, since our universe's Liz isn't particularly evil. But then, our universe's Garfield isn't particularly heroic either. She operates out of a deadly space station called the Orbiting Clinic of Chaos, and at present she's waiting for the arrival of her henchman, Space Pie-Rat, who is a six-foot-tall anthropomorphic rat dressed in stereotypical pirate getup. Vetvix has just finished inventing a levitation ray, and she'd like Pie-Rat to go out and use it to steal all the food in the universe. Vetvix doesn't think small, is what I'm saying.

The counter to Vetvix is Emperor Jon, ruler of the planet Polyester. He's kind and benevolent, even if he's a little dippy and his fashion sense atrocious. Having gotten wind of Vetvix's latest plan, he contacts Pet Force in their ship, the Lightspeed Lasagna. Upon learning the problem, Pet Force gives chase to Pie-Rat. They eventually corner him on some desolate planet, landing and entering an abandoned factory. Unfortunately, they're not safe amongst the dangerous machinery, because this turns out to be a trap. Vetvix has been busy as hell, because she's also invented a metal that's impervious to their powers. And that's not all, because she's also basically invented the Phantom Zone, where she traps Pet Force forever. It specifically mentions it doesn’t kill them, because it wouldn't be kosher to murder the heroes in a Garfield book~

The Lightspeed Lasagna has both onboard cameras connected to the heroes' belts as well as automatic return protocols, so within two days, Emperor Jon knows exactly what's happened to Pet Force. He needs help, so he calls upon his most trusted and powerful advisor: Binky the Sorceror. Binky's just as loud and obnoxious as in the main universe, but he's also a powerful magician. He conjures up a spell for Emperor Jon that lets him pierce the veil between universes. It's basically Equestria Girls rules: parallel universes have similar characters between them. So to replace Pet Force, they need the nearest genetic equivalents from another universe. And that's the versions of Garfield, Odie, Arlene, Nermal, and Pooky that we know and love~

Back in the main universe, it's another day entirely. Another cookout is taking place, and Nermal has received his special anniversary issue of Pet Force #100. The cover's really special, dripping with '90s cover gimmicks like glow-in-the-dark and embossing. A rarely used one, though, was "portal to another universe". That was pretty expensive to print, so you won't find many comics like Nermal's. Maybe he had something there with the collecting after all. The cover glows, and while Jon is distracted by the grill, Garfield and Friends disappear~

They reappear in Emperor Jon's wood-paneled throne room, now transformed into Pet Force. Emperor Jon and Sorceror Binky try to explain the situation, but Garfield--now Garzooka--is disbelieving of the whole thing. In fact, even the idea that Jon can now hear him talk absolutely floors him. Since he's about to deliver the exposition for everyone, can we talk about Compooky for a minute? This spell has just granted sapience to Garfield's teddy bear. I don't expect deep philosophy from a children's novella, but the ramifications of this are really under-explored. Like, never mind the whole idea of a teddy bear having the same genetic makeup as an alternate universe equivalent. He goes from inanimate object to fully conscious being, and he just rolls with it.

Anyways, once everybody gets caught up on what's going on and accepts the new reality, a training montage ensues so the group can all learn to use their powers without killing each other. Once at least reasonably trained, the reborn Pet Force is sent out to stop Pie-Rat. He's gotten sloppy in the times with Pet Force dead, so they track him down easily. After a brief scuffle where Garzooka takes his eyepatch, Pie-Rat flees in his ship. They follow Pie-Rat back to the Orbital Clinic of Chaos, but they can't go in the front. That led the original Pet Force into a trap. Finding an unguarded maintenance hatch--standard on any big space station--they enter Vetvix's lair for a final confrontation!

After dealing with the Waiting Room of Doom, which slowly fills with outdated magazines, they enter Vetvix's inner sanctum. Frustrated with Pie-Rat's failure, she uses her magic to turn him into an ordinary mouse. Vetvix then attempts to use her same weapon on this new Pet Force, but thanks to story contrivance, it only works on beings born in this universe. As other dimensional visitors already, they can't be banished to another dimension. She then pulls a Dr. Claw and runs off cursing Pet Force's name while her base self-destructs. Vetvix is a very "discard and draw" sort of villain, it seems. Pet Force, of course, makes a harrowing escape just in the nick of time.

Returning to Emperor Jon, they vow to be ready to return whenever they're called on, since evil never stays dormant for long. Odious even gifts Emperor Jon with the mouse-ified Pie-Rat as proof of their victory. Well, I'm glad they remember that, so they didn't accidentally murder a major villain in their first superhero outing. They're returned to their own universe, and the time differential between them places them back with Jon having not had time to even look up from the grill. Garfield begins to doubt the adventure even happened--until that night, when he finds Pie-Rat's eyepatch still on his person. Ah, definitive proof of... eyepatches, I guess~

Book 2: Pie-Rat's Revenge!

You have to wonder where, in a space-faring superhero setting, Pie-Rat got the inspiration for his classic pirate motif. It's a little incongruous is all I'm saying. And hey, remember when I said earlier that Garzooka's purple-and-green colour scheme was odd for a hero? Well, here he is as a villain! That'll catch your eye. This would be a terrific comic cover, which is what you want in a series like this.

The book opens with a brief recap of the previous story's events, then moves into the new plot. See, Emperor Jon has opted to keep the polymorphed Pie-Rat as his pet. How very Ron Weasley of him. That's pretty apt, actually, because similarly Pie-Rat has maintained his intelligence in his new mousey form. Pie-Rat gets sick of being Emperor Jon's pet and plans a daring escape, exploiting the emperor's dimwitted and loving personality against him. Pie-Rat jams the lock with a food pellet and makes his escape that night.

Once free from his cage, he encounters Binky's cauldron, still left in the throne room from when the sorceror summoned Pet Force from Garfield's universe. Figuring he has nothing to lose, Pie-Rat jumps in the leftover brew. Suddenly he finds himself growing. He returns to his original anthropomorphic state--but with a twist. He's now twice his original height, a staggering twelve feet tall. He scoops up the rest of the remaining potion for later, and sneaks out of the palace as best as a 12-foot rat can sneak. Desiring revenge on both his former employer and his longtime foes, he steals Pet Force's ship and makes his escape from the planet, headed for Vetvix's newest base.

After his guards help Emperor Jon put the pieces of the problem together, they decide they must once again call upon the powers of Pet Force to recover their missing vehicle and stop the newly embiggened Pie-Rat. Fortunately, Garfield and friends have been watching movies all weekend, so Jon doesn't notice when his pets disappear from the living room in a bright flash. Of course, once returned to the alternate universe and the situation explained, they still have a problem: how do they give chase to Pie-Rat when he's got their ship?

And speaking of Pie-Rat in their ship, he's followed the trail of a mysterious energy output, and it's led him right to Vetvix's new base, the Menacing Moon of Mayhem. See, this is why you don't blow up your base: the backup base is never as good. if it was, it wouldn't be the backup. Given that it's such a shoddy base, Pie-Rat is easily able to get inside and get close to Vetvix. She's expecting a technological attack, so she's unprepared when he pulls out that vial of magic potion and sprinkles her with it. And naturally, the potion that made him grow 12 feet tall makes Vetvix shrink to 5 inches. It's magic, we don't have to explain it!

Pie-Rat takes the magic crystal that Vetvix uses to fuel her powers, which of course didn't shrink because magic is just bullshit. See previous paragraph's last sentence. And while Pie-Rat takes over the base and begins plotting a further revenge against Pet Force, we cut over to them. They're at Sorceror Binky's own castle, and it's clear he's a bit of a hoarder. This is to their advantage, though, as they eventually piece together a working spaceship out of old car parts and other things, all patched together between Compooky's know-how and Binky's magic. This seems like the sort of book where I could use that "it's magic" quote every other paragraph. But craft a new--if small--ship they do, and speed off in the newly christened Planetary Pizza.

The rickety little ship does eventually find its way to Pie-Rat's base, saving him the trouble of being proactive as a villain. The magic thing keeps happening, and Pie-Rat basically becomes Discord for a bit while he fights them, doing things like turning Starlena's siren song into actual living music notes. One by one, the members of Pet Force are taken out, with only Garzooka is left. He and Pie-Rat struggle, while Pie-Rat tries to aim the magic crystal at Garzooka. Garzooka uses his claw to rip the crystal from Pie-Rat and defeat him.

Unfortunately, here's where the cover comes in. It seems the moments Pie-Rat was focusing the crystal during the struggle affected Garzooka's mind. He puts the crystal around his own neck. which turns him evil. He helps Pie-Rat to his feet, and the pair escape in the Lightspeed Lasagna. While Pet Force pursues them in their ramshackle ship, the new criminal duo strikes the storage planet of Deli to steal their food. Pet Force manages to catch up as the villains celebrate their spoils, and use a magic blast from the systems Binky installed to short out the Lightspeed Lasagna. This enables them to dock with the ship and climb aboard for a contfrontation.

The group fights, and once again the bearer of a bullshit magic crystal subdues the heroes easily. Annoyed now, Garzooka takes hold of Starlena and prepares to kill her or something. She taps into the one thing she has left: she's not fighting just Garzooka, but Garfield in his body. She drops some heavy put-downs, which resonate with Garfield, and he hesitates long enough for her to cut the crystal off him. The crystal hits the floor and shatters, undoing its evil magics on Garzooka's mind as well as on all his teammates. With Pet Force reunited, Pie-Rat is easily subdued and locked up.

The group waits for the ship to power back up, then speed off to apologise to the planet Deli. Following that, they head back towards Vetvix's moonbase. That night, though, the magic that was making Pie-Rat 12 feet tall wears off, and he escapes from his cell. He steals the remaining shards of the crystal, climbs into the Planetary Pizza, and makes a getaway. As a bonus, he also repeats the power-down spell against the bigger ship, giving him ample time to escape. And he's not the only one. Over on the Menacing Moon of Mayhem, Vetvix also returns to her proper size, and abandons this base as well. And when Pet Force fails to find her, they simply return to their own universe, ready to be called on once again in the future~

Book 3: K-Niner: Dog of Doom!

Another very basic comic book-style cover. K-Niner is a much more typical villain in style. This one's actually a wrap-around, and features the rest of Pet Force reacting to K-Niner on the back cover. Which is good because, other than the first cover, the covers all have a heavy Garzooka focus. Which makes sense for a book series, I suppose, you wanna assure the kiddos that Garfield's gonna be in the book. But as a comic book series, this would be a bad look for a team book~

So after our standard introduction and recap, we start off with Vetvix in yet another new base, the Floating Fortress of Fear. I'm sure it's very intimidating, if she can keep hold of it for more than a single book. She's picking up from the epilogue and putting the last touches on K-Niner, mostly enhancing his intelligence. Now, you look at the cover and tell me what kind of voice you'd expect. Some sort of German or Austrian accent, like the doberman on Road Rovers? Does anyone remember Road Rovers~? Anyways, but no: he speaks with a posh British accent. You know, the "I say, good chaps, looks like we're in a bit of a sticky wicket, eh wot?" type. Trust me, you can tell. But just because he sounds refined doesn't mean he's not evil.

I also love that after the initial "trapped them in the Phantom Zone" bit, the villains just go whole ham. K-Niner here demonstrates that he is indeed evil by threatening to rip out Vetvix's throat. Let your villains be villainous is all I'm saying. She's pleased he's so vicious, but feels he needs to learn his place as well. She force-chokes him until he complies. She then gives him his assignment: she thinks dogs should be liberated. The Boy Mayor of Second Life would approve, and so does K-Niner. Turning pets on their masters is just his style.

K-Niner takes a portable evolution gun, and immediately sets off. He begins on the planet Kennel. Isn't it neat how every planet is named after an English word that describes its function? K-Niner quickly takes over the dog population and turns them against their masters, because boosting their intelligence also makes them evil, of course. They use enslavement collars on their former owners, and within a few days, the dogs now run the planet. We cut over to Emperor Jon on Polyester, where a man has crash-landed a ship. He's an escapee from Kennel, and he's here to report the events so we can get the plot moving and once more summon Pet Force!

And summoned once more they are, Garfield and Friends once more conveniently disappearing in a split second while Jon's back is turned (this time they're outside playing volleyball). And once back in the parallel universe, Emperor Jon fills them all in on K-Niner's dastardly doings. Garzooka, naturally, takes great offense to dogs being in charge, and takes his duties as a hero completely seriously for once. Pet Force takes off for a confrontation with K-Niner in the Lightspeed Lasagna. And speaking of Pet Force's ships...

The Planetary Pizza, piloted by Pie-Rat, plants its pads down on polar planet Glacia. Pie-Rat is here seeking a way to restore his magic crystal and regain his mighty magic powers. He's sought out the home of a legendary evil wizard, who's known by the name of... Barfo. I see why Barfo keeps his location a secret. But anyway, Barfo is the one who made the crystal, so naturally Pie-Rat reasons he can restore it as well. Suprisingly once on Glacia, Barfo's evil lair is pretty easy to find. His manservant, Hobart the Gnome, brings Pie-Rat before the wizard, and within moments the crystal is restored! Pie-Rat turns to thank Hobart, but Hobart suddenly turns into Vetvix!

Yes, Vetvix knew all along that Pie-Rat's quest would lead him here. And as she was once Barfo's student in the ways of evil magic, she knew she could get the old coot to go along with her plan. Barfo returns the crystal to Vetvix, restoring her powers. And so Pie-Rat, a recurring villain in three whole books, is unceremoniously done away with, as Vetvix teleports him inside an asteroid, trapping him in solid rock. Even if the asteroid were hollow or he displaced the interior when he teleported in, no doubt he'll suffocate within moments. That's pretty harsh.

With that over, we rejoin Pet Force as they approach Kennel. K-Niner's battle cruiser spots them incoming, and shoots the ship down, even in spite of Abnermal's forcefields. Pet Force bail out of the ship, and Abnermal uses his powers to make snow to cushion their fall. Upon landing, a contingent of mutant animals attack. The mooks aren't much, but K-Niner himself puts up an impressive fight. However, one of the mooks pulls a gun and points it at Compooky. This is why Compooky usually stays aboard the ship, but that wasn't an option. Rather than let their friend get hurt, Pet Force surrenders.

Pet Force is held prisoner separately from Compooky, with both the cell's technology making it freeze-proof and threats of "don't break out, or we'll shoot your compatriot". Their imprisonment is not long, though, as suddenly the power goes out. Pet Force takes advantage of the situation and make their escape, quickly running into Compooky. K-Niner didn't think the hyper-intelligent teddy bear needed a high security cell, and just locked him in the basement. It was easy for him to then break out and shut down the local power grid. This also has the side effect of turning off the control collars the humans were wearing. How convenient!

With control of the planet now tilted in their favour, Pet Force now has time to both fix their ship and reverse the polarity of the brain-boosting weapons, turning the dog population of Kennel back to their normal selves. Though the experience did change the pet owners of Kennel. Having experienced life in their pets' shoes (so to speak) for a bit, they've resolved to treat their canine companions a bit more equally. More being allowed on the furniture, less stupid tricks for treats. Still, Pet Force can't stay long, and they head off in pursuit of K-Niner's battle cruiser. This is why most superheroes don't have spaceships (Jedis don't count): if your enemy also has one, they can flee way more easily than on foot.

Not willing to let another place go to the dogs, as it were, Pet Force catches up with K-Niner. With his previous success, Vetvix has stepped up the timetable and sent him after Polyester right away. Emperor Jon is in danger! They enter the planet's atmosphere, and are attacked by fighter craft. They fend them off, but their weapons system is damaged in the fight, so they can't simply use the reverse brain-rays and solve it quickly. The team splits up instead: Garzooka and Abnermal will go after K-Niner, while the other three will find the planet's power source and knock out the collars, since that worked so well the last time.

The two heroes quickly make short work of K-Niner's guards, and then turn the battle to deal with the Dog of Doom himself. While the struggle goes on, the rest of Pet Force reach the planet's power grid. Using a clever tactic, Compooky overloads the power and causes and electrical storm that simultaneously undoes the brain-boosting effect and shorts out the enslavement collars. There's only a few pages left, after all, and we have to wrap this up.  K-Niner is reverted back into an ordinary dog, and the emperor is reverted to an ordinary non-enslaved person. The day is saved!

And now once again, Pet Force prepares to return to their own universe. However... when the spell clears, the five heroes are still standing there. Something is blocking the passage between dimensions, and Pet Force is trapped. And while Pet Force's adventures have taken place between mere moments in their own universe, they have always returned quickly enough that Jon didn't notice a thing. But this time, as Jon retrieves the volleyball and turns around to his pets, he's surprised to find they've all vanished into thin air...

Book 4: Menace of the Mutanator

This one's very striking because of its more painted look compared to the heavy black outlines the rest of the covers have. Does this one count as having the whole team on the cover? Because, spoilers, that's what the Mutanator is: the rest of Pet Force mashed up into a villain. Again, though, that's definitely a striking image that'd draw in readers to a comic cover. In fact, while Garzooka may be over-used as a cover focus, several of these also show him imperiled in some way, and that's nice for character stuff. That helps balace it a bit~

I wanna say, before we start, that I'm impressed by the continuity for the series as a whole. They could've just written each story as a standalone, but for a series of 100-page children's novellas starring Garfield characters as superheroes, things happen in these books. Like, maybe not sweeping status quo changes, but events affect the plot of each next book down the line. And that's where we pick up! Right where the last book left off, with Pet Force now stuck in the alternate universe, unable to return home to Jon. But if they can't go home to Jon, well, maybe then events will conspire to bring Jon to them~

Yep, because Jon happens to wander into the room where they keep the copy of Pet Force #100 that acts as a portal to their universe, he gets transported into the Pet Force universe. And since Emperor Jon is still an extant entity, there's just two Jons now. Jon, of course, is a bit freaked out, and it takes several pages to explain the whole deal to him, and also have a showcase of all their powers to pad out the book some more. Eventually, they decide to call in Sorceror Binky to examine the problem. When he has a go of it, a sudden tornado emerges from the cauldron and whisks away Pet Force--save for Garzooka, whose prodigious strength keeps him anchored.

Garzooka heads out in the Lightspeed Lasagna to track Pet Force's signature, glad to get away from a double trouble Jon. And while he's searching, the scene cuts to Vetvix's Floating Fortress of Fear. Hey, one of her bases actually lasted more than one book! This is where Pet Force has been transported to, once more in a power-proof cell. Vetvix monologues to the heroes, as she is wont to do, explaining that she's the one who cast the spell to keep them from returning home. And further, she's brought them here to mutate them into her servants.

While Emperor Jon exposits about his backstory (turns out he is not of royal blood, and has about as much legitimate claim to the throne as you or I do), the search continues. Sorceror Binky detects Pet Force, giving them all a view of what happens next. The trapped members of Pet Force are literally broken apart and reassembled: Odious' body, Compooky's brain inserted into the chest, Abnermal's hands, and Starlena's head. She christens this beast "Mutanator", and it is soullessly obedient. I also wanna say, Mutanator's kind of a non-binary icon, aren't they? (The comic uses "it", but it was 1998 and alternative pronouns weren't really a thing yet.) Muscular, masculine body, but confident enough to still wear lipstick. It's a look, is all I'm saying~

Mutanator continues to possess the combined powers of Pet Force as well. Vetvix sends them to attack the planet Armory to gear up before attempting to conquer Polyester. And meanwhile, thanks to the convenience of being able to scan all of Compooky's memories now that his brain is part of Mutanator, Vetvix has the perfect trap to spring on Garzooka--or should she say Garfield. Yes, she really knows the whole origin for Pet Force now, and now she knows all Garfield's weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and probably blood type and other dating profile stats~

Thus, when Garzooka receives the coordinates from Emperor Jon and arrives at the Floating Fortress, he finds himself menaced by giant spiders. Vetvix couldn't think of a way to get Mondays to attack him, so the Giant Spider Invasion will do. Spiders are apparently very formiddable foes, Garzooka's personal fears aside. They can swat gamma hairballs out of the air, they can construct webs as quickly as certain Marvel heroes, and their hairy exoskeletons are resistant to both claw and strength. But despite his fear and Abnermal's running commentary, Garzooka manages to trounce the spiders with a carefully applied flame--taking Vetvix's blueprints with them.

Garzooka heads out once again to track down the Mutanator, leaving his less-than-all-together friends in the safety of their forcefield prison. While he's off, we return to the perspective of his target. Using their combined powers, the Mutanator swiftly conquers the planet Armory and sets their sights on Polyester next. It's not a bad plan, honestly. With the stockpile from Armory, not only will the Mutanator be more powerful, Polyester won't be able to use the planet for backup. Fortunately for the two Jons, though, Garzooka intercepts the Mutanator before they can leave Armory.

The fight's actually pretty good. Very back and forth. But even despite Garzooka's great strength, the Mutanator wins in the end. Thankfully, Vetvix puts her conquest of Polyester on hold to take the time to retrieve Garzooka and add his power to the Mutanator. This, of course will be her undoing--in a completely ridiculous way, of course. For back in the palace, our universe's Jon is watching Pet Force's struggles with the scrying cauldron. And he leans in a bit too close. Sowhile Vetvix is prepping the machine to divide Garzooka's body like she did the rest of Pet Force, Jon suddenly tumbles through the dimensional warp caused by the cauldron and lands on Vetvix, which causes her to put the machine in reverse. A real Jonnus ex cauldrona there, eh?

The Mutanator disappears, their existance as a unique being wiped out as their pieces return to their proper Pet Force owners. With Pet Force reassembled, Garzooka takes out Vetvix with one of his gamma-radiated hairballs while she's distracted by Jon. Pet Force decides that the vile veternarian should have a taste of her own medicine, and stick her in the body-splicing machine with some of her guards. This divides them all up and mixes them into bizarre combinations. It also has the side effect of disabling Vetvix's magic, so they can return to their own universe now.

The book wraps up here. Pet Force first returns to Armory to both return the stolen weapons and also make repairs on the buildings that were damaged in Garzooka's fight with the Mutanator. That's the sort of thing I'd like to see in more superhero stories in general. The two Jons part ways, with the Emperor believing the other Jon's heroism to have been deliberate. And thus are Garfield and friends returned home. And just like the end of their first adventure, where Garfield couldn't be sure if it really happened, so too is Jon's memory fading. Had he really witnessed all that? Only his pets know for sure--and in this universe, they can't talk~

Book 5: Attack of the Lethal Lizards

This one's another wrap-around, showing the rest of Pet Force engaging the remaining Lethal Lizards on the back cover. This is one advantage books have over comics: a front and back cover you can use for your story-telling. The Lizard designs are pretty good for a villain group too. Like Pet Force, they don't adhere to a particular theme, but they do look good individually. Garzooka roasting a hot dog on a stick might be a bit too comedic for a superhero story, though. It sets the tone wrong. How "lethal" can they possibly be if Garzooka is out here roasting hot dogs in the middle of battle?

So here we go, last book. After the usual recap, we open with Jon explaining to Garfield and friends his latest plans: they're going to WackyWorld, a theme park dedicated to Jon's favourite cartoon, The Wackies. Both Garfield and Nermal think the show is lame, and if those two agree on something, you know it must be so. In less lame universes, however, trouble is once more a-brewing. So it turns out Vetvix's Floating Fortress of Fear has been orbiting the swamp planet Reptilius this whole time. And her various experiments in the last two books have been radiating the planet in magical energy...

From that magical power, three reptiles find themselves uplifted in intelligence and granted fantastic powers. Please say hello to our three main villains for this book: Snake, an enormous snake (the only one without an anthro design) with stretching powers; Chameleon, who can shapeshift; and Dragon, a komodo dragon with fire breath and the bad attitude to match. While Snake and Chameleon figure out their powers, Dragon declares himself the leader as he's clearly the smartest, strongest, and most powerful. They name themselves the Lethal Lizards and start plotting how to rule the planet.

After that exciting intro, though, the book kind of slows down. First we get a whole chapter of Emperor Jon also deciding to go on vacation, to planet Funlandia. With Vetvix out of commission for a while, there's no better time. In short, he's out of the castle and Sorceror Binky is in charge. This is followed by a chapter of Jon and his pets at WackyWorld. It's certainly an accommodating amusement park to allow pets on its grounds. Garfield at least gets along with the food, but if you know anything about amusement park food prices, the amount Garfield eats will make your wallet weep. Jon takes his mind off it by dragging the pets along to a ride. Surely they have to be under the height restriction~

Fortunately, we get back to the actual stars of this book, and we see a bit more of their dynamic. Snake is the sort who sucks up to whoever's calling themselves "Boss" at the moment. Dragon is power-hungry, and it's clear he'll sell out his allies at the drop of a hat. Chameleon is Starscream. Anyway, they trek through the jungles of Reptilius until they find a downed spaceship. Reviewing the logs reveals it was a scout ship from Vetvix, and they also learn of Vetvix and her mission. However, they don't know where Emperor Jon lives, so they crowd into the the newly christened Rapacious Reptile and set course for the stars.

The first planet they come across is a world called Klod. Quickly the Lethal Lizards beat up the populace and find the local government. Chameleon shapeshifts into a dignitary, pretending to be an advance entourage for Emperor Jon, schmoozing with the governor until he learns both what Jon looks like and the name of his planet. With this information secure, Chameleon nips out suddenly, and the trio sets forth towards Polyester. Governer Klutz calls up the palace as soon as the reptiles depart, and reports the incident to Sorceror Binky.

Binky wastes no time, and he dials up Pet Force. Since all five are in one place, he's able to pull them through even without them being near the gateway through issue #100's cover. Convenient! Pet Force, however, does waste time, as a lengthy comedy scene eats up several pages before we just get on with it. Eventually, the situation is conveyed, and they figure it's safer to keep Emperor Jon on Funlandia for the time being. Compooky stays behind to help plan some strategies, while the rest of Pet Force boards the Lightspeed Lasagna to intercept the Lethal Lizards before they even arrive.

Pet Force spends the next few minutes both scanning for incoming ships and bickering with each other, so I'm very glad when the Rapacious Reptile appears on their detectors before too long. Dragon threatens the ship, telling them to move or he'll knock them aside. It's a spaceship, dude, you can move in three dimensions. The ships trade shots, and while Chameleon's piloting is actually pretty good due to his independently-rotating eyeballs, eventually both ships crash land on whatever planet is nearby.

Both ships crash right next to each other, which is improbable but less ridiculous than some of the contrivances in these books, so I'm okay with it. Now you'd think what with the enemies being reptiles and Abnermal having freezing powers that this battle would be over really easily, but no. In fact, Garzooka and Dragon are pretty evenly matched. Snake turns out to be immune to Starlena's siren song because snakes don't have external ears. See, now there's a contrivance I find a bit weird. Snake swallows Abnermal whole, and Chameleon and Odious get literally tongue-tied. The Lethal Lizards actually live up to their name pretty well.

As the fight continues, half of both sides are laid out when Compooky comes rushing up, saying he has an urgent message from the emperor. And that's when he sucker-punches the team. It was actually Chameleon in disguise, having gotten knocked away when he and Odious separated. So yeah, round one goes to the Lizards, and they make their escape first. Pet Force regroups, and they give chase. The Lizards have enough head start to really lay siege to Polyester before Pet Force arrives, though. They even get access to the palace using Chameleon's shapeshifting, leading to Sorceror Binky letting slip the real location of the emperor just as Pet Force arrives.

Another fight ensues--see, now it's really a superhero story--and the Lizards leave again 2 and 0. This time Snake uses his venomous fangs to attack Starlena. This leads to the weirdest contrivance yet. Maybe not the worst, but definitely the weirdest. They have only minutes to save Starlena. So how do they do it? Well, they notice that Odious drools quite a lot. It's very "fluid output". So they have Binky magically reverse Odious' drooling, so that he has "fluid input" on his tongue instead. It becomes a big suction sponge and sucks the poison out of Starlena. They then restore the drooling, and he just harmlessly drools out the poison. What.

With their teammate saved, Pet Force pursues the Lethal Lizards to Funlandia. They get there just in time to rescue Emperor Jon from their clutches, with Garzooka and Odious combining their strength to literally rip a kiddie ride out of the ground. Starlena corners Chameleon in a hall of mirrors, turning his own trick against him. Snake is undone by Odious' strength. And Garzooka fights Dragon to a standstill, finally trapping all three on a roller coaster still operating. When the ride comes to an end, Abnermal freezes them all until the authorities can retrieve them.

Naturally, Emperor Jon thinks it's all part of the show (because Jon is dimwitted in any universe). The Lizards are sent to a lizard-proof prison (seriously, it specifies this), and Pet Force returns to their own universe. As usual, Jon didn't notice his pets go missing during the dark amusement park ride. The book concludes on an ominous note, however, as the ship carrying the Lethal Lizards makes its jump to lightspeed just as it passes the Floating Fortress of Fear. The shockwave knocks over some debris that reactivates the combining machine, restoring Vetvix to her full evil might once more!

The end!

No, really. Those five books are all there was. I hear it may have continued into the comics, but I don’t know how accurate that is. I didn’t really look into it.

But boy, what a ride, huh? Let’s dissect the books one at a time, since it only seems fair to take them as individual stories.

The Outrageous Origin: It’s a fairly basic origin story, I’d say. It kind of has to be. I guess my main gripe is that, like Rita Repulsa’s entire run on Power Rangers, the heroes never fight the main villain directly. In fact, there’s barely even an evil plot in this one. You have henchmen and some traps, and that’s about it for the menace.

Pie-Rat’s Revenge: A cautionary tale about why you treat your minions with respect. This one’s pretty good, but the events depicted on the cover make up such a small part of the book. Wouldn’t it have been more fun if Garzooka was turned at the beginning of the story? Book 4 would at least do the reverse of that, so it’s not a major complaint~

K-Niner, Dog of Doom: I think this one’s about as middle of the road as you can get. What a coincidence that it’s also the middle of the series! Like I said in the recap portion, it’s a shame that Pie-Rat’s story ended here. This one definitely feels more “villain of the week” than most.

Menace of the Mutanator: This one might be the best book in the series. Garzooka, alone, battling against the best parts of his team? That’s gripping stuff. I guess the main problem is that the Mutanator isn’t really a character in and of themselves. Like, K-Niner, he may have been a generic rent-a-villain type, but he had a personality. Mutanator is little more than an extention of Vetvix’s will.

Attack of the Lethal Lizards: I’m a bit split on this one. The bits with the titular Lizards are great. They steal the show! But the parts where it focuses on either Jon kind of drag, and Pet Force is a bit too jokey here. Like, I get the point is that they’ve relaxed into their roles now, and there’s not much point of doing it as a Garfield story if they don’t actually use the character personalities, but... I dunno. It’s good, but it could have been better~

And that’s it! Like, I dunno how to wrap this up. Pet Force was neither my first exposure to superheroes nor my first introduction to the Garfield brand (you can thank Saturday morning cartoons for both of those). But for some reason, maybe just the absurdly goofy premise, it always kinda stuck with me. And I think that’s a good enough reason to make it my 10th anniversary review, don’t you~?

[beansprouts]

Bean’s Eurovision 2021 Top 5!

(aka Bean’s Eurovision 2021 Song Ranking: Part 5)

This is the S-tier for me, and I would be ecstatic if any of the following artists won.

5) Manizha - Russian Woman [Russia]

I genuinely don’t understand how, Russia being the way it is, this pro-LGBT Tajik refugee utter goddess managed to catapult her modern feminist anthem to winning the Russian national competition. Maybe after charming everyone with internet darlings / rave trolls Little Big last year, Russia decided a conventional Eurovision act was for squares? Or maybe Manizha is just that good? Honestly probably a bit of both. This song is a tour de force. If you’re like me you might need multiple listens to be ready for it, because it exists somewhere outside of conventional genre expectations, but I promsie it’s worth it. If it wouldn’t be insulting to Manizha I would suggest it comes from an alternate universe where electronic music is more freeform and you could combine Russian girl-rap with a sick synth guitar (sitar??) drop without it being weird. I feel I need to mention again how good that drop is. It’s not a dubstep-type drop, but when that first beat kicks in you feel the energy, and it makes the subsequent slowdown for the lyrical belts (”Борются, борются Все по кругу борются, да не молятся”) all the more impactful. That her message reduced so many Russian viewers (and a fucking cultural committeeperson) to pearl-clutching only proves how much it’s needed. People hate to see an immigrant woman win. But, have you seen her? She’s fierce and she cannot be shut up <3

4) 10 Years - Daði og Gagnamagnið [Iceland]

If you follow my tumblr you’ve probably seen me reblog stuff about Daði Freyr, because I think he’s delightful and I love everything he does. In the wake of Hatari’s BDSM-with-a-message shaking the world in 2019, Iceland swung in the complete opposite direction in the best possible way by introducing us to Daði Freyr, potentially one of the most wholesome musicians of all time, and his high-school-found-family-turned-band-Gagnamagnið. Their 2020 song Think About things was written as a sort of letter of hope and acceptance to Freyr’s young daughter who’s too young to form opinions. It’s utterly charming and probably would have (deservedly) won last year’s Eurovision if the pandemic hadn’t caused it to be cancelled. 10 Years, in turn, is a love letter to Freyr’s wife, with whom he’s been married a decade. Freyr’s style is both unusual and distinctive: smooth and simple yet irrestibly catchy vocals, funky brass fills, and the gorgeous experimental synths of a self-trained internet hobbyist. His attachment to his old-school 8bit aesthetic makes him not just endearing to my own nerdy biases, but refreshing to a generation of Eurovision viewers tired of the overproduced and inauthentic bombastic power ballads of yesteryear. Freyr is clearly the musical genius of the group (as evidenced by his frequent covers, streams, and other fun experimental breadcrumbs he clearly releases just for the sheer fun of music) but I also love that he’s always surrounded by his buds. That one in the front is his wife :) You can tell they’re friends, you can tell they’re having such fun, and it’s a straight rush of serotonin to me and anyone else who goes buckwild for found family in fiction. I want to play video games with him. 🎵How does it keep getting better????👯‍♂️

3) Discoteque - The Roop [Lithuania]

The Roop’s Discoteque is the ultimate theme song for dancing by yourself in your room. That is it, I have condensed its essence into one sentence for you. It’s really not hard to get the appeal of that. Haven’t we all been trapped in our rooms for the past year? Don’t we all need to be told that “it is ok to dance alone”? I feel like The Roop made the accompanying dance simplistic for other viewers on purpose. Discoteque is for everyone. Discoteque is a sealed package of pure fun, and it’s addressed to everyone who has heard the chorus of this song. Even though everyone is isolated in their own home right now, we can do the dance ourselves, and it is ok to dance alone. Dance alone, dance alone, dance alone.... 🕺

2) SHUM - Go_A [Ukraine]

Songs like SHUM are the reason that Eurovision exists: a blend between Ukrainian folk (heralding the beginning of spring) and utterly banging hard techno. Where the fuck else would I find Ukrainian technofolk? And more importantly, where else would I find one that goes this hard? There’s a reason why in the past week I have seen videos of almost every Eurovision performer dancing to SHUM, and it’s because SHUM is a fucking banger. I’ve already posted that I think I played this song so much my neighbours are getting sick of it, and I’m trying to teach myself the Ukrainian lyrics. It’s not out of effort, really, it’s just because if you like EDM at all you will fall in love with this song and have it in your brain constantly, and next thing you know you’re learning Ukrainian folk tales about the metaphorical resonance of sowing hemp. It’s such a good song purely on a musical level that anything else it could offer is just extreneous, frankly. But we also have Kateryna Pavlenko’s god-tier cyberpunk queen aesthetic, Ihor’s brilliant flute-playing, and a genuinely very punk video of the band visiting Chernobyl to benefit from Go_A too. The band that never stops serving.

1) Dark Side - Blind Channel [Finland]

Ok, look, nobody is surprised to see me simp for the Finnish nu-metal band. But give me a few paragraphs to convince you that they (or at least this song) merit just a bit of simping. As a treat. From the perspective of Eurovision this song came pure out of left field: electronic pop and hard rock in a harmonious marriage the likes of which the music scene hasn’t seen in decades. Apparently they like to use the term “violent pop” to describe themselves. In many ways the feel like a Linkin Park revival, if maybe a bit more energetic: dark, emotionally vulnerable, and the kind of thing you would belt out in the shower on a bad day. It is also technically perfect. Considering the simplicity of the lyrics it’s easy to overlook all of the compositional details at play here, but from the vocal effects to every guitar riff to the drum solo in the bridge to the sheer energy of the performance, everything is both perfectly engineered to be musically effective yet authentically hard rock as fuck. These boys may have the aesthetic of someone who spends their days crawling out of dive bar dumpsters (affectionate) but they are extremely hardworking with their craft and I wasn’t surprised to see the release of their mini-documentary wherein it’s obvious they are working themselves ragged and should probably be getting more sleep. Not to forget, of course, the message of Dark Side. This song is a tribute to the outsider, to feeling lonely, to being emotionally stuck and needing release. It embodies catharsis. Every human out there (even though some may claim not to) know what it’s like to want to stick your middle finger up at everyone. And it’s that often-maligned part of you this band is channeling with this amazing rock song. I want Dark Side to win because I think, after 2020, what we as a society collectively need is to put our middle finger up, take a shot, throw it up and don’t stop.

Previous parts of my ESC 2021 song review: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

[dustedmagazine]

Dusted Mid-Year Exchange, Part 2: Positive No to Yves Tumour

Six Organs got a lot of mid-year love this time

Welcome back to part two of the Dusted Mid-Year Exchange, in which we tackle the second half of the alphabet. If you missed part one, with its lengthy description of what we’re doing here, you can read it here. Or just muddle through. Cheers.  

Positive No — Kyanite (Little Black Cloud)

Kyanite by Positive No

Who recommended it? Tobias Carroll

Did we review it? No.

Tim Clarke’s take:

Positive No braid tight bursts of guitars, bass and drums into upbeat yet agitated shapes. There’s a touch of Blonde Redhead’s Kazu Makino in Tracy Wilson’s vocal delivery, or My Bloody Valentine’s Belinda Butcher, especially on expansive opener “Elevator Up.” At just under half an hour, the urgent economy of Kyanite’s songwriting makes all the more sense when you learn that it’s the band’s final album, released on Valentine’s Day this year. As their parting gesture, nothing is wasted, everything invested. As one of the song titles says, “Get In, Get Out. Don’t Linger. Go On.”

 Raspberry Bulbs — Before the Age of Mirrors

Before The Age Of Mirrors by Raspberry Bulbs

Who picked it? Jonathan Shaw

Did we review it? Yes, Jonathan said, “Even in its heaviest metal moments, on ‘Reclaimed Church’ and excellent closing track ‘Given Over to History,’ the record’s punk vibe cuts and grins. It insists on a deadly aesthetic seriousness, and at the same time, it’s tugging the rug out from under its own feet.”

Jennifer Kelly’s take:

Raspberry Bulbs splices punk’s antic venom with metal’s storm and roar, shifting from one mode to the other inside individual tracks, sometimes measure to measure. Consider “Doggerel” which kicks off in a pogo-ing furor, rattling violently over rapid oi band rhythms, everything clipped and percussive, even the vocals, though hoarse and splintered. Midway through, a sirening guitar riff intercedes and the singing turns ominous and measured; all the sudden it’s metal. “Midnight Line” pulls the opposite trick, beginning in clanging, feedback-morphing guitar and larynx shredding howl, then introducing a punk rock palm-muted chug and anthemry. It’s a volatile mix, at times nearly playful, at others agonizingly heavy, at still others (the “Intervals” mostly) surprisingly lyrical.  I lean towards the punk-er tracks—"They’re After Me” and “Doggerel”— metal fans may feel otherwise.

 Stephen Riley — Friday the 13th (Steeplechase)

Who recommended it? Derek Taylor

Did we review it? Yes. Derek said, “Knuffke and Riley are a directly collaborative pairing now and their partnership politely demands many more dates like this one.”

Justin Cober-Lake's take:

Saxophonist Stephen Riley has put together a quartet with a singular idea of playing these classic tunes on Friday the 13th in relatively straightforward and spacious renditions. Their take on Eddie Vinson's “Four” has Riley and cornetist Kirk Knuffke trading long solos. The rhythm section does its job, but it's a horn players' record. The album comes alive most when Knuffke and Riley interact more immediately. On Oliver Nelson's “Hoe Down,” they reveal how great a partnership they have, initially matching each other on the main melody before spiraling off. “Round Midnight” could have been too obvious a choice, but the combo's personalized take on the standard works out. Everyone sounds at ease enough within the song that they take a few more risks, and the horn players supplement each other nicely with more harmonic considerations. The album ends with a trio of spirited numbers, and in each case Riley and Knuffke play off each other's solos with a sharpness that by now makes sense. Riley's listening to Monk and playing like Rollins (hence the title track) as he and his group find ways to make old bop sound new.

  Gil Scott-Heron and Makaya McCraven—We’re New Again, A Reimagining (XL Recordings)

Who recommended it? Jenny Kelly.

Did we review it? Yes. Arthur Krumins notes, “McCraven lays down a lush musical backdrop that allows Scott-Heron’s words to have emotional impact.”

Jonathan Shaw’s take:

The word “reimagine” has a sexy resonance, and for that reason, it’s often too casually used. But in the case of We’re New Again, the word is warranted. Drummer and producer Makaya McCraven doesn’t just remix Gil Scott-Heron’s final record, I’m New Here (2010); McCraven shuffles the track list, adds some relevant recordings of Scott-Heron’s voice, and creates entirely new arrangements, moods, and musical accompaniment for the earlier album’s songs. It’s ballsy — I’m New Here is justly recognized as a masterpiece, and it’s marked by a stylistic austerity. On that record, Scott-Heron sang and spoke and recited his poetry over minimalist beats, a strummed guitar, or his own piano playing. McCraven attentively reimagines the tunes, working with polyphonic, post-Bop ensembles; busy hip-hop soundscapes; gospel and funk quotations. Remarkably, none of the richness of Scott-Heron’s vocals and none of the complexity of his poetry get obscured. More often, McCraven inventively intensifies the impact of Scott-Heron’s songs. And the reordering and recontextualizing of the tracks reveals a different narrative, grounded in the resilience and the suffering of Scott-Heron’s upbringing and too-short life. You listen and you feel it. It’s a terrific record.

Six Organs of Admittance — Companion Rises (Drag City)

Companion Rises by Six Organs of Admittance

Who recommended it? Jennifer Kelly

Did we review it? Yes. Jenny said it’s “straight-down-the-middle Six Organs, not as loud and abrasive as the first Hexadic disc, not as reticently wisp-y as the older folk-derived records.”

Patrick Masterson’s take:

Back when Dusted was still a dot-com, we talked about making a site-specific canon for our 10th anniversary, a kind of “Dusted 500” field guide. There was a shared spreadsheet and talk of a benefit show and a mixtape comp and so on that never amounted to anything for myriad reasons, but I can promise you Ben Chasny would’ve figured into it somehow — and nearly a decade on from that, my promise stands. The latest (30th? Let’s call it 30th) Six Organs of Admittance record is a beautiful slow burner that shows why, all astral spirits and slow-rolling starlight guitar plucks that is, as Jenny rightly notes, a Six Organs line drive. My belief after numerous spins since early February — mostly in the mornings, for which this music also seems suitable accompaniment — is that, like the rest of Chasny’s oeuvre, it will appeal to anyone who likes guitars or reads this. On the off chance you stumbled in here or haven’t heard this record yet: Welcome. It’s always been this way.

Patrick Masterson

 Spanish Love Songs — Brave Faces Everyone (Pure Noise)

Brave Faces Everyone by Spanish Love Songs

Who recommended it? Ian Mathers

Did we review it? Yes. Ian said, “it’s more a record of solidarity and mutual support than it is anything more prescriptive.”

Patrick Masterson’s take:

L.A. quintet Spanish Love Songs occupy a very specific point on what I like to think of as the Bar Band Spectrum, where one end is a bottom-rung covers-only collective found in just about any weeknight dive pre-COVID playing for beer money out of boredom and modest ambition… and the other end is Bruce Springsteen. This band isn’t as ramshackle as, say, Ladyhawk, nor have they yet hit a glass ceiling à la the Constantines; they sound to me more like Beach Fossils or Single Mothers, where everything from their songwriting to their slightly glossy production suggests they’re as ready as they’ll ever be for arena life. And what a record to make the case, too: Brave Faces Everyone is the sound of Run for Covers Records growing up or early onset Gen Z realizing a glass of wine after everything is, in fact, a coping mechanism for adulthood in a profoundly uncaring world. It’s got a big, young heart to match its big, old sound. It says, loudly, that in the increasingly untethered reality of 2020, we are all losers forever — but there’s still a “best of it” to be made if you wanna and the bravest face is an optimistic one. I’ll rock with that (from the quarantined confines of home and the other side of another lousy livestream, of course).

Patrick Masterson

Squirrel Flower — I Was Born Swimming (Polyvinyl)

I Was Born Swimming by Squirrel Flower

Who picked it? Patrick Masterson

Did we review it? Nope.

Arthur Krumins’ take:

Making the most of a dour mood, Squirrel Flower squeezes disaffection from her vocal delivery. The instrumentation is reminiscent of a less noisy Built to Spill, or maybe Julie Doiron, and is effectively now a retro indie rock sound originally from the late 90s or early 2000s. The jamminess of some of the drawn out riffs feel both pretty and sad, and could be a good soundtrack to a rainy drive. The heaviness is well developed without being bogged down. The lyrics catch your attention with their plainspoken narration of conflict (“You slap me, I’ll slap you right back” she repeats in “Slapback”). A fitting album for looking your troubles head on while still being totally surrounded by them.

 Waterless Hills — The Great Mountain (Cardinal Fuzz)

Waterless Hills - 'The Great Mountain' by Waterless Hills

Who picked it? Bill Meyer

Did we review it? No.

Arthur Krumins’ take:

A dissonant flow that steadily increases in intensity starts this record, which is a live recorded improvisation. The combination of aching, modal violin by dbh with slightly overdriven cascading electric guitar by C Joynes makes for a feel reminiscent of “Venus in Furs” by the Velvet Underground. The percussion by Andrew Cheetham, a drum kit plug some extras like a hung Chinese gong, creates texture and mood. Sometimes there’s just a steady counting of time in the background, at other moments waves of cymbals crash and make a cacophonous emphasis as the music rises and falls. The overall effect of the jams is hypnotic, like getting absorbed in a swirling light show. The players’ sensitivity to the musical interplay of their instruments, combined with a masterful looseness, makes it a trip worth taking.

Well Yells — We Mirror the Dead (Self-released)

Who recommended it? Ian Mathers.

Did we review it? Yes. Ian Mathers notes, “tipping towards the slightly industrial/EBM side of the genre, We Mirror the Dead gains a kind of gloomy propulsion without losing any of the atmosphere or intensity of [the band’s] prior work.”

Jonathan Shaw’s take:

The Gothic is not famous for stylistic restraint, and neither are the various contemporary subgenres that have inherited goth music’s romance of dark interiors, painfully fraught feeling and highly stylized self-fashioning. A few recent acts have cut against the grain of those established maximalist textures: see the grim industrial rancor of Street Sects, and the more experimental, sample-based austerities of Wreck and Reference. Well Yells’ music feels similarly stripped down to a pulsing electronic essence. But the record is more interested in the strobing spaces of Clubland than in decrepit factory ruins, and the darkwave gloss of We Mirror the Dead presents a more conventional relation to goth’s sensations. At its best—as on album opener “Kill the King”—the music of Patrick Holbrook, sole member of Well Yells, snaps and glimmers with compelling dread and arch sophistication. Holbrook’s breathy tenor is a useful counterpoint; his vocals are vaguely reminiscent of the best of those other habitués of Clubland, the British New Romantics (remember Bronski Beat?). It’s good stuff, somehow simultaneously polished and dirty.

  Lucinda Williams—Good Souls Better Angels (Thirty Tigers/Highway 20 Records)

Who recommended it? Justin Cober-Lake

Did we review it? No.

Bill Meyer’s take: I haven’t listened much to Lucinda Williams; the one record I have by her, Sweet Old World, is 28 years old. The first thing that hit me when I listened to Good Souls Better Angels is what’s changed. Williams’ voice is much rougher, and she’s adjusted the music correspondingly, adding Hendrixian guitar flourishes to “Bone of Contention” and coarsening the domestic violence scenario “Wakin’ Up” with bad-trip electronics. The next is how pissed she sounds. Violent boyfriends are bad enough, but having a charmless sociopath for president is even worse. Fortunately, bile hasn’t overwhelmed her writing chops. Big-sounding roots rock isn’t really my thing these days, but if I feel the need to change that, Good Souls Better Angels is a good place to start.  

  Wire — Mind Hive (Pink Flag)

Who picked it? Andrew Forell

Did we review it? Yes, Andrew said, “Mind Hive is concise yet full of restless intelligence, musical ideas and willingness to push boundaries.”  

Derek Taylor’s take:

I tapped Wire late and left early. That truncated exposure lends a narrow vocabulary in describing their music contextually, pre- and post-reunions. This latest missive sounds alternately like what I remember and at least several zip codes removed with a heavy lean into synths. “Be Like Them” and “Primed and Ready” fall in the former category, while “Off the Beach” trades gangly ennui and menace for what almost resembles instrumental optimism until the lyrics stack dutifully into another ode to the disaffected and disconnected. “Oklahoma” feels inscrutably weird. “Hung” drops as the album’s extended, incremental, post-industrial dirge. There’s additional insulation sheathing this Wire, an inevitable adjunct of ascendancy to elder status, but the current foursome is still dependably conducting current.

 Yves Tumour — Heaven to a Tortured Mind (Warp)

Who recommend it? Patrick Masterson

Did we review it? No.

Ian Mathers’ take:

Listen to music for long enough and you might realize that most of the time when you hope any artist goes in any particular direction with their work, you’re bound to be disappointed. But every so often, maybe after a promising album that you just didn’t fully click with, an artist does exactly what you were hoping for and fully manifests all the potential promise you thought you glimpsed. Yves Tumor’s 2018 album Safe in the Hands of Love was admirable in many ways, but it was really only on crucial single “Noid” that all the combustible elements were really brought together into something that properly bangs. Well, Heaven to a Tortured Mind might not have as many showcases for the ambient/noise chops that Tumor definitely has, but it does consistently bang for 36 minutes of should-be alternate universe pop hits, from the brassy “Gospel for a New Century” to the floaty duet “Kerosene!” For anyone who loved “Noid” and then found more to respect than the viscerally love on Tumor’s last record, this is the record you were waiting for, and it is magnificent and ferocious.

[archivedatl]

AP web exclusive: All Time Low tour diary

Posted by Scott Heisel on 08-Dec-06 @ 04:43 PM

Last month, Baltimore pop-punkers All Time Low took to the road with Sugarcult for a series of shows on the West Coast. Here's some of what they saw, in words and pictures. Learn more at www.alltimelow.com.

#1------------------------------------------------------------ Ooohooo So last night we celebrated two awesome occasions...well 3 since matt's molars finally grew in...anyways yesterday was Haloween and our first night of our tour with Sugarcult. I must say, it is pretty strange touring with a band who I spent the better years of my middle school life watching on MTV. Regardless of where this band has been, it definetly didn't eff with their personalities. They were all super nice to us and each came up and introduced themselves. The show went pretty well but it wasn't a good judgement of our the whole tour is going to be because Sugarcult didn't even headline, the Eagles Of Death Metal did, and the tickets for $25 on Haloween night :) I'm sorry but I would never go to a show if those were the circumstances...I'd be out expanding my collection of holiday treats. Tonight the 'real' tour begins so we will see how it goes. We are playing Washington State University in Pullman Washington. We haven't done too many college shows, so this should be interesting...anyways before we got on the road a couple days ago we were couped up in Ben Harper's (formely of yellowcard, now in amber pacific) house/studio in long beach, CA working on our new CD :). We demoed some hot licks that were going to send over to our producer matt squire so that he can put in some input. I heard my blogs are going to be posted on the Alternative Press website for this tour, so if that's the case then...helll yeah! Well I just woke up from sleeping in the van so I am gonna walk out into the freezing streets of Pullman, WA crack my back and grab some Qudoba. Much Love, Jack --jbstar #2------------------------------------------------------------ Yoo dooodds, So I'm gonna update you guys on the passed couple shows...on Wednsday we played Washington State University. Those kids are freaking crazy! Everyone seemed to be having a good time and we made some awesome new friends. I cannot stress enough, how cool the Sugarcult guys are. Which is really cool because I have been listening to those guys since 6th grade! Anyways before we played, matt thought it would be a good idea to have a fork and knife fight backstage...yeah it turned pretty ugly and we should have some footage online soon enough. That night we partied at 'The Christmas House'. Lets just say that I'm pretty sure alex made out with a dog...I really miss Hit The Lights :( Anways...we played Seattle after the college show and it was offf the hoooook. Everyone in the room was dancing and it got pretty redic. As soon as we told them the alex/dog story they went nuts. We met up with the Pink Spiders that night. We were nervous about that because we've heard some stuff...but for real those guys are the shit. There all super nice and we have no complaints about them. We have yet to tour with a band who we don't get along with (fingers crossed). We also heard that we may be doing a few shows with Cobra Starship in Dec, if that happends that would be sick. I'll keep you guys updated. Someone made us a bucket of the craziest donuts ive ever seen at the portland show last night!! They were reallly good. Sorry for the lack of pics, I'll make sure my next post has more, its just hard to take good pics on a sidekick :). Talk to you guys soon!!Jacko #3------------------------------------------------------------ Yo Babaayyss, Last nights show was off the hook! I love playing at The Boardwalk in orangevale calii. The crowd was as wild as usual and a bunch of kids were singing along. A lot of the same kids who saw us there on the Amber Pacific tour came back. Its always cool to see so many familiar faces,,,cough cough hint hint nudge...you get the idea folks! The next couple shows should be interesting...reno and vegas. I wont be able to gamble but at least ill be able to look at a lot of lights. We all have family comming out, so that should be exciting. I havent seen my brother and sister in ages and i know their gonna be wasted so that means they will be even more friendly :) Also Meg n Dia join up in vegas which is sick, SO SIKED FOR THAT!!! We met them on warped and their super nice. anyways i think its time, i go to In and Out because after this tour im not going to be able to go back for a while :( im going to eat there everyday twice a day until we leave Arizona. Ive attached pics from our set on the Epitaph stage at this years Bamboozle Left and also some pics of our acoustic set the 2nd day! Thanks to everyone who watched us either/both days :) love you peace peace n a bottle o' hair grease, jack #4------------------------------------------------------------ Wow...vegas has to be one of the strangest places on this earth. First of all we showed up in Reno (shity city) only to find that only sugarcults crew was there and the show probably wasnt going on. We were welcomed by a hooker in a pink tanktop and no teeth asking if we had any shirts we could give her...Thankfully we have power windows and middle fingers. Thankfully zack was asleep or he might have took her up on some of her offers...he's getting desperate you know..just kidding! Anyways we decided to hang out with sugarcults crew for a little then start the drive to vegas early since it was 8 house. We got to go over the Hoover Damn which was sweet. It's seriously Vegas Vacation all over again! Anyways, we got to vegas around midnight and it was a fantastic site! My bro and sis were staying at the MGM so thats where i headed. Rian to the Excalibur, Alex and Matt to the Venecian and Zack to the Luxor. We all split up and hung out with our fam for the evening. My brother took me around vegas and boyyy was it interesting. I was approached by numerous drunk people. It was basically like an Ocean City, Maryland for older people. It's just a place for adults to drink, walk around drunk, act like teenagers and maybe gamble a bit here n' there. it was Akward to say the least. Anyways the next day was the show at the House Of Blues at Mandalay Bay...probably one of the nicest venues we have ever played. We introduced ourselves to the Meg n Dia folks and got to know our new tour mates as we shared a dressing room. We soon found they are awesome people and they share a love for getting wild! The show was pretty cool, and the crowd was big. It was weird though because the merch was not in the venue, it was in the cassino haha. Anyways Vegas was an experience we wont forget, and I cant wait till we go there again. I hope the next time we go, were 21...actually nevermind because that would be three years :)stay rad, Jack #5------------------------------------------------------------ Lame! Tonight was our last show on the Sugarcult Tour featuring The Pink Spiders and Meg n Dia :( Damone will be taking our place on this great lineup. I am jelous that they get to join up! Anyways we made some lifetime friends on this tour and it was a great experience for everyone. Every single show was amazing and the fans never let us down. Traveling to bumfuck arizona and hearing a couple hundred kids sing your song is the coolest feeling ever. Sugarcult was very warming towards us and their personalities suprised the shit out of me. they were such cool guys and even when zack was sick they made him soup and gave him Emergen-C. WHO DOES THAT !?!? Thats like something my mom does...so in a way Sugarcult are our parents. They actually reffered to us as their younger brothers on stage. At the last show of the tour in Little Rock, Arkansas us and Meg n Dia ran on stage during "Bouncing Off the Walls" and started bouncing around and took over Tim's Guitar n Mic, Marko's (my twin) guitar and Airens Bass. It was so fun to bro down with a band that ive been listening to since middle school haha. Alex also got to soundcheck with sugarcult at Texas AM College because tim was at the hospital taking care of his sickness (i think he had a nasty cold). It was so crazy to see alex soundcheck with a band who for the past few years have held a special spot on my ipod and in my cd player :) I attached a pic of him sound-checking for fun. At the end of the show we said our goodbyes and gave our hugs. This is'nt the end of these friendships though, only the beggining...now we head home to write a new cd. Catch us on the road in the northeast in december when we head out with Cobra Starship! Stay safe, Jack

[houseofvans]

ART SCHOOL | Q&A with JEREMY SHOCKLEY

Like snapshots of memories morphed into vivid dreamscapes, LA based artist Jeremy Shockley creates narrative works featuring rainbows, clouds and creatures. In his landscapes, curtains reveal a cast of strange and dreamy characters on stage–that like clouds drifting through the sky, momentarily meet and interact on canvas. Find out more about his art, his inspiration and what he has coming up the rest of the year by taking the leap below! 

Photographs courtesy of the artist. 

Introduce yourself?   My name is Jeremy Shockley.  I live in LA, specifically my studio is in El Sereno and I live in KTown.  I'm a painter and also work in artland, typically helping figure out large scale works and exhibitions.  I have a wonderful girlfriend named Nikki, a half blind angel dog named Willie, and five chickens: Debbie, Hairdo, Edna, Billy Jo, and Dink.

When did you begin having an interest in art and painting as a career? How or why do you think you gravitated towards painting? I've pretty much always wanted to paint and draw for as long as I could remember.  It all started drawing Ninja Turtles and Predator on my grandma's floor when I was around 4.  My parents let me paint my entire room.   My family was always supportive about making art...so I just always assumed it was a normal life path or something like that.

How do you describe your work to people who maybe unfamiliar with it? What are your paintings about? It's hard for me to admit it, but I guess they are kind of Surrealist.  I always hated surrealism, and then bam...I kind of just started doing it.  I like my paintings to convey some type of narrative or snapshot of a memory.  I like story telling, but prefer pictures over words.

In your works, you often have beautiful landscapes intertwined with the surreal–from melting rainbows to ghosts the landscape literally being curtain. When did you begin to discover the subjects for your paintings? How did that evolve and come-about? The landscapes came about because I wanted a pretty backdrop for this cast of characters to live in.  It evolved into landscape curtains when I went into full acceptance of it essentially being a stage.  The characters are all some sort of amalgamation of my constant reading/listening to books on mythology and sci-fi.  I keep a running story in my head of these characters and landscapes, so I really just pick a scene and paint that.  It's a pretty fun way of working.

How has the places you’ve lived and its landscape influenced the work you create? I'm from Travelers Rest, South Carolina and it is as pretty as the name suggests. It's in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains and a lot of my source imagery still comes from there.  I also love Los Angeles and its beaches.  Nothing is more calming that just painting an ocean.  In the last few years I've been traveling a ton, so I carry a travel studio wherever I go.  Keeps me sane and there's always something pretty or just the right kind of ugly to paint.

What was your last adventure or walk through your neighborhood that showed up in one of your work, thematically or just visually? I go outside of my studio and just stare at the sky a lot.  I'm a big fan of clouds and El Sereno skies are incredible in the afternoon.   I just did a painting about waking up right after a shipwreck.  It's painted like your looking out from behind eyelids.  Had a great stormy day outside the studio for reference.  

What IS your favorite thing to draw or paint? Do you have an UNfavorite thing to draw or paint? I like clouds and creatures mostly.  Softer and less structured things.  I hate painting hard lines and rigid things.  Metallic finishes are also tricky, but I'm working on those.

When did you start picking up the paint brush and taking your works to the canvas? What do you enjoy about painting as a process? I probably started around 6th grade.   Up until then I think it was all notebook paper drawings.  I love drawing, but it's so much more fun just covering a surface with paint.  I love a toothy surface that's really unpredictable to drag paint across.

What’s a typical day like for you when you’re in the studio? I usually drive to Carl Jr's and get a bucket sized unsweet tea around 8:30am.  I start working as soon as I walk into my studio, so I don't get distracted by my sweet VHS collection (thanks Richard Colman for that).  I put on an audiobook and work straight through until around 7 or 8 pm.  It always just goes by so fast.  

What are your go-to art tools? Oil Paint, Linseed, Lavender Spike, a bunch of brushes. 3 palletes, an old piece of bamboo to lean my arm on, so I don't drag in the wet paint, and some bent up old palette knives.

What are you constantly inspired by? And who are some of your early and current art influences? I spend a lot of my time just looking at stuff and trying to figure out what colors it's made up of.  Also, I love looking at old paintings, even like old ones at thrift stores.   I've always loved Constable, Guston, and Ansel Adams.  Recently: Forrest Bess, Albert York, Picasso, Bacon, Magritte, Monet, and more Constable.

What do you do when you are not painting or creating new work? How do you find yourself unwinding? I hang out with our chickens and dog in our backyard.  All of Nikki's fingers are green, and she made a lil nature paradise back there.  Also, on Sundays I go to Applebees in Alhambra and have a Bloody Mary followed by whatever terrible action movie is playing at the movie theater next door.

What advice would you offer to an aspiring artist who might wanna follow in your footsteps? I've worked with a lot of successful artists, and they all seem to have one thing in common: they are always working.  I try to do the same.  I love painting, so I do it every second I get.

What’s your best Art School tip that you want to share with folks? Some random wisdom you learned through your personal journey or just while making art? I went to a cheap in state school, after seeing they had big free studios.  The professors were also great.  It was in a small town, so pretty much everyone was always working distraction free in their studios. It was amazing, and I didn't have any debt afterwards.  It didn't have a big name, but we all came knowing how to make stuff.  Thanks Winthrop University.

What do you think you’d be doing if you weren’t an artist? In an alternate universe, what would you have been career-wise? I also have a degree in Psychology.  I meant to be a Psychologist and even moved to NY to pursue research opportunities, but I got a job working for Tom Sachs and have been artbound ever since.

What’s a question you never get asked in an interview that you wanna ask yourself and answer? What's your favorite Tom Hanks movie?  Joe Versus the Volcano, obviously.  I watch it on VHS at least once a month.  There's this scene where the luggage all pops up out of the water and the moon is crazy looking.  I honestly think it strongly influenced my art.

What are your favorite style of VANS?  Vans Authentic Chilli Pepper Red with Gumsoles.  Favorite shoes of all time.

What’s coming up for you the rest of the year or into the next? I have a couple of works going out into group shows and still in the works for a show abroad in September.  

FOLLOW JEREMY | INSTAGRAM

[groomlakeprojects]

Crash(test) The Ballad of Faded Wolf

(Summary)

Barry Mick is a struggling tour manager for a young US rock band in his 30's working in the rock world and mainstream pop; but also works several part time real jobs. The band he is currently managing is a young band “Faded Wolf”; full of notorious stories and behaviors including sex,drugs, and rock and roll. Will they crash and burn? Or live and learn? Probably neither.

Crash(test) The Ballad of Faded Wolf

Story written by Joe Bruno

Edited by

Max Barksdale

There’s something peaceful about waking up in a moving vehicle. The scenery moving like an old movie reel as we make our way to the next destination is the best part, I guess. From what my folks told me when I was young, you actually had to dedicate a person, with a license, to controlling the vehicle; which sounds like a terrible idea looking around my immediate company.

“Tommy Rocks”, as he’s known, is in the next bunk over; putting his genitals on one of our roadies face while he’s asleep. Classic. The band I’m currently out on the road with, (for way less money than I should’ve negotiated; had I known the shit storm I had agreed to) Faded Wolf, are one of the new growing bands in the heavy metal scene. And they are all about attention.

These guys just cost the label $600,000 in damages; leading cops on a two hour chase after stealing a old school collection car from a classic car show, then proceeding to manually drive it onto the highway.

Fucking psychos I tell you. Especially in 2044.

A human messing with with our great, automated highways? It’s crazy they’d let anyone touch a real steering wheel. Thankfully the van doesn’t have one or I’d never sleep with this band around. Not that I do much.. From what I heard growing up, people died like all the time crashing these things it was something crazy like the plague, it was in the millions of people dead all of the time, senselessly. And you’ve got to be an idiot to get out on the roads with the old cars and attempt to drive with the cars we have today. Nobody stops and goes and burns gas anymore. The road system today is cars going everywhere all automatically timed to drive without hardly stopping. Except out here, there’s some drivers still not enough automatic services out this way yet.

Suddenly, there’s a loud pop and the van comes to a stop on the side of the road. We are somewhere on I-70 near Anywhere, Kansas. The van operator broadcasts on to the intercom, “Hey fellas, we are really sorry to inform you but your ‘Bandvan’ rental has had an internal problem with it’s charge system and needs repairs. With your insurance purchase, we will be covering stay at a hotel for you guys until we can get the next van in your area. The nearest one is a day away. Really sorry about the inconvenience. We can give you two free days on your next trip. Again, so sorry. Local tow resources are on their way and should arrive in 25 minutes.”

Damn. We had one more date for tomorrow in Colorado, then I was to catch the Interstate speed train to California; where my next job starts. A pop artist, “Yuki”, is playing the VENUE on Mars’ grand opening. This is like the big stadium time too; bigger than the theaters and bars that host Faded Wolf.

I was asked to smuggle some personal belongings they had left when they took off last week. Oh, and it’s going to take two months to get there. The band managers “great joy of the music world”, is basically being the babysitter to the most irresponsible group of people in the world.

Not now.

I have to figure out what we are going to do. The tow truck is pulling up now I guess I’ll go settle up with the service and oh hey it’s the gang is already around the front. Shit. Tommy, Jim, John, and Freddy are chugging beers and flashing their private parts to oncoming traffic. I used to hear stories about bands like Motley Crüe and Guns N Roses, in my grandparents younger days, who did this kind of stuff.

It was wild.

I think that’s what they want.

Shock value.

It sounded fun at first; but after two months of living it, breathing it, and smelling it with this group, it has lost it’s appeal. I can’t wait to go Mars and get away for a bit.

But what are you gonna do?

These guys want it all.

And unfortunately, they’ll do anything for the attention.

We arrive at a local hotel. It was one of these small mom and pop ones with a kind of old “Bates Motel” vibe; except this was Conways motel. It’s almost like a slasher film; but instead of killing you in the shower, you would step back in time to what the elders would call, “the eighties baby!” The room was filled with neon colors on the walls and 80’s movie and music posters on every wall.

A short older man, maybe in his 60’s, in black pants and a faded blue vintage nascar shirt approaches us. He introduces himself as Earl Conway and asks if we are the rock band staying the night. Tommy and the gang, the kind of wild living guys they are, of course are already shotgunning beers behind me with the roadies and some local fans who are also staying at the hotel.

They have also recognized the band.

I shrug and go into “manager mode”.

We get away to settle up the insurance at the front desk.

“Well, I know it’s y’all’s misfortune, but it is just our treat to have y’all stay with us at ‘Conway’s’ tonight. We never have too many city folk stay here; especially real rockstars. Let us know if you need anything; food, beer, some coke, ‘Ya know’,” Earl brags with a grin.

Well, at least I know these guys are mostly safe to party.

“Thanks Mr. Conley. I really hope we don’t need too much. Our next van will be in town around 12 tomorrow. And then, we are back on the road to the rockies. Though, I can’t speak for the band. It looks like they are already making friends.”

I gaze out the door.

The crowd partying with the band has tripled since exchanging info at the front desk. It appears Tommy and Freddy are now signing several women’s breast and taking some suggestive photos. They probably assumed I quit paying attention, went to my room take my sleep aid, and pass out.

What the hell could go wrong? This is what they do.

That’s not managing though.

I’m thinking I got to go break this up.

“Mr. Conley, I’ll make sure we keep the crowd and noise down,” I assured him.

“Nonsense Barry! You know what; on the weekends we have a 25 Acre track, just behind the motel, where we race good old human driving cars. I saw the band’s mishap with that car out in California on the news. Compared to that footage, I’ll gladly let them rip it up tonight!” Earl responded.

Well there goes my peaceful night.

It’s not even night, and two of the old classic cars that drove by earlier have rolled up to the growing party in the parking lot. Freddy, Tommy, and the gang, are now doing what are called “donuts” in the parking lot. I’ve seen videos online where the human controlled vehicles speed and then brake during a turn, to slide across parking lots at shopping centers and apartment buildings. I suppose it’s better they can do that here; instead of the theft and driving on automated highways charges.

I head to the room to try to get some peace and quiet. Maybe I can try to go over my lists for the Mars trip; which I’m surprised about it being a whole 4 month thing and I’m not that nervous yet. I guess it’s hard to think to that far in the future when you live in “Faded Wolf’s” now.

As I’m approaching the room, I can hear sounds of giggling. Nope thats moaning.

Shit.

Someone is having sex in my room.

Again.

I can’t really count at this point how many times this has happened. But I’m not surprised really. It’s Faded Wolf. What did I expect. At least I have my bag. I can work on some things in this old chair at the end of the hall.

Luckily, I brought my headphones to tune this out.

And they are dead.

Goddamn Bluetooth!

I really miss the older devices my grandparents showed me when I was younger, the headphones may have had to be plugged in; but you weren’t left hanging.

Well, i passed out in the hallway on the floor for couple hours and awake to Earl right in my face and shaking me “buddy I got other customers rolling in soon can’t have you here like this.” I agree. I startle but get up in a haze.. I haven’t really felt this low since i turned 30. The world keeps turning though, I get up and grab my bag and computer I used as a pillow. The room was cleared out and I can finally catch a shower.

There’s clearly cocaine residue on the dresser and all of the room beers are gone. As much as I’m disappointed they didn’t leave any to share, I’m guessing Earl may have to order more for tonight.

I finish my shower, get dressed, and head out to the tracks. It’s a sunny summer day, with green trees and a field view; not that Kansas is known for its landscapes. It was a nice break from the crowded cities we usually stay in.

The guys are all hammered and driving these cars, I’d say, 90 miles an hour back and forth through a loop called a “race track.”

I’ve seen these before on the web. This used to be a popular sport, and still has a strong presence in the south to this day.

More of the local community has shown up looking for a chance to party with this band of fools.

I finally take a seat in the stands, with my own beer, and a little cigarette of ‘grass’, as they used to call it. One of the cars with Tommy driving, and yelling something obnoxious out the window, suddenly turns too quick. It goes up sideways, and flips several times in a barrel roll before stopping on it’s hood.

I drop everything and run over to help.

Tommy quickly climbs his way out, soaked in blood and yelling out in pain; which seems to be coming from the arm he’s holding. I look over inside. One of the fan girls from earlier is inside; luckily with a seatbelt on, which is holding her up. Kind of dangling, but still not awake. She looks a little cut up and I can’t tell if she’s breathing.

This right here is why they did away with letting humans drive. This is what my parents used to ramble on about when I

was young and driving had just been banned. I can’t believe they did this for over 100 years. This is a horror movie in real life. The shock and anxiety. You know, cannabis can make you very anxious without any bad shit happening; but this anxiety was something completely new.

One of my clients may have just killed someone.

As the local ambulance and fire response vehicles roll up, so do several police cars.

This is it.

We are fucked.

I am fucked.

The mars trip, is super fucked.

There is no way we are getting out of this mess by the time our next van rolls in tomorrow.

The rest of the band and I stayed back and talked to the cops about what we saw. I look over to the medical team, and see the fangirl miraculously retain consciousness; with no visible broken bones. Just a few scrapes and bruises on her faces. When her eyes finally opened and she got up and walked off with her friends quickly to the ambulance and seemed to try to keep looking over seeing Tommy at the ambulance, my anxiousness subdued a bit.

But now, we had a new set of problems. The law.

Tommy was immediately arrested and was being charged with an older charge called a “DUI”, reckless driving, and driving without a license. Apparently, this whole track operation is mostly for skilled drivers who still get a thing called a “drivers license.”

After they take him away, local news crews start rolling in to film the documentary of the end of our careers.

I had to call the label to let them know what had happened.

Well look at that. Faded Wolf news travels fast. Tim, the A&R rep, is calling me.

“Hey Tim, buddy! How are you?” I ask, trying to cool tension. “What the fuck did you let happen Barry? You’re the manager! Do you know how much this is going to cost us?” He yelled.

“Look man; you know these guys! Okay? They don’t listen to anybody! I just clean up the mess, like always! But I’m gonna go down there and get Tommy out, okay? These people are super fans; so we might get lucky,” I explained.

“Try what you will Barry; but if you can’t fix this, you’re done.” He hung up.

Earl comes up, still shaken from the event. I immediately start apologizing.

“Hey man. I’m so sorry these guys are idiots, And that poor girl”

He interrupts, “It’s ok Barry, it’s my fault. I encouraged it, and we’ve had accidents from time to time. I could’ve done more to set some ground rules. You guys being here has just been the most fun we’ve had in a while. Look. I got a lawyer buddy who helps me with my books. I’m gonna call him for us. Would you like a ride to check on Tommy?” He asks.

“Of course man! That would be amazing. I actually don’t know how to drive; really none of us from out west do.”

The rest of the crew stayed back.

The buzzkill shook everyone into retreating back to the rooms.

The parties over.

The drive was quiet.

The local radio report is already talking about the accident. I had to change the channel and the next station is, of course, a rock station ironically playing the “Faded Wolf” song “Crash”. I change it again, and finally tune into some obscure classical channel.

It was finally peaceful.

We get to the police station and go check in.

You know in jail movies, this part always sucks. Going to meet your friend or family member; locked up in the jump suit.

It is an all around shitty experience.

It also has be somewhere around 1 AM; about 12 hours away from our van departure schedule. At this point, I feel we are not gonna make it. And I’m not gonna make that Mars trip. We get to the front desk and ask for Tommy.

The desk lady grins and says, “We are hanging that mugshot up in the break lounge; as soon as we get it autographed. We’re holding him a bit longer. You know, y’all are so lucky that girl and her family likes him. He could’ve been here a while.”

I reply confused, “So he’s getting out?.”

“Well, yeah. Some lawyer came in representing that girl. Says she’s his daughter and he settled up with the judge. He will be free to go in just a bit”.

I look to Earl, “Dude, your lawyer is the girls dad?”

He looks shocked, “Shit I had no clue. I hope he doesn’t shut me down.”

The lawyer pops around the corner. “No real harm, no foul; I suppose. We live a little wild out here with these cars, and have accidents from time to time. Regardless, my kid, for some godforsaken reason, has been obsessed with this band for years now, since her high school days, and says it would be the most embarrassing thing to put you away for this. She just wants this to go away. And she really likes this “Tommy” guy, so we’ve made a hefty financial settlement that will take care of her, myself, and get some money flowing down at city hall again. Anyways, we will be in touch with the label for payment soon. And, please. Never. Ever. Let Tommy, or the rest of the band, drive. Or maybe never come here again. I’m serious. Goodnight, gents.” He leaves the station.

Well only in this rock and roll world can such scenario play out. Apparently everyone in this jail is a Faded Wolf fan even the judge. Tommy finally comes out of the back putting his shirt back on and a little bandaged up it seems. He signs a few copies of his mugshot for the station employees. Tommy then comes running at us jumping “ dudes I can’t believe it they love us here, apparently that girls dad is a lawyer, and begged him not to let me stay locked up and pay a fine instead” I reply “ so what’s the damage how much is this going to cost us?” Tommy smirks “ well let’s just say the label is not going to be happy about it and I’m sorry Barry if they blame this on you” I reply “ blame what?” Tommy deeply inhales and answers “eh it’s gonna cost about 20 million or so”. Well in my mind I was thinking a lot worse but that is still probably enough that it’s coming out of the next albums check and probably my check too. He continues “ it’s all good Barry we are getting that next advance and the last album just hit platinum”. This guy has no clue how completely fucked we could’ve been. But how could he? We let this happen and now by paying it off we encourage it.

We all get back to the hotel it’s probably close to 4 AM everyone’s passed out. Earl comes by as I’m packing things to be ready to go in the morning. “ well I’m glad it all worked out for you guys and I’m sorry about letting this happen” I interrupted “ look Earl these guys like to do crazy things and don’t think much, don’t blame yourself

We are all lucky it wasn’t worse.

And crazy lucky that the girl’s dad was lawyer; in our favor.

“You’ve been a great help to us! I’ll make sure to send you a postcard from the new venue on mars!”

He sort of gets excited, “Mars? No way! Is that the pop star everyone is going crazy for? ‘Yuki’ right?”

I replied, “Yup! That’s the one! I actually have to bring some things they forgot when they left the other day.”

Earl grabs a postcard from his folder he was carrying. “Well, could you show some love to the motel up there?”

I look at the picture of the motel which had several cars driving in the background, “You bet Earl, thanks for everything”.

I caught some sleep and woke up just in time for the “15 minute warning” for the vans arrival. We all loaded in and waved goodbye. Tommy was, of course, holding up the show and making out with the girl Alice. You know, the girl he nearly killed last night. I think that’s what her name was. Actually, I’m not really sure what her name was; but I guess it’s best we leave town on a good note.

And there we were; back on the road, heading to Colorado, cracking jokes trying to laugh off the bizarre events from the night before.

Tommy leans from his seat to me, “Barry, man, thank you for being there. We all appreciate it and I promise you that I’m never driving again! Well, unless I come back out here and see her again” he chuckles.

It had been on my mind all morning though, that maybe it was time for a career change. Possibly something with less responsibility for those least responsible. Maybe I’ll start my own band or label and just be in charge of myself. Who knows?

The Colorado show went off without a hitch; other than arriving right as soon as the band was scheduled to be on in 30 minutes. I’m glad we made it, but also just as glad to be out and not in charge of these maniacs for a long time. I left early to catch my train to the launch pad in California.

I can’t believe I made it.

Still sleepy and still taking in the events of the last two days, I figured it was a perfect time to take a sleep aid; seeing as I’ll be boarding a space shuttle to live in (which is basically a hotel lobby) for two months.

From what I’ve read, these launches can make you feel sick quickly; so it’s probably best to be passed out for that part. I get through security, get my bags checked, then board the ship. As I’m seated and buckled, I lay back with freshly charged headphones and some classics playing.

I slowly doze off.

I wake up, and I’m not in the ship anymore, but back in the port at the launchpad in a wheelchair. A flight attendant is near me, sees that I’m awake, and jumps up.

“Sir we are so sorry to inform you like this, but our ship had trouble taking off and was grounded. A second ship left later

in the day, but you have been out for about 10 hours and we could not get you into the next one passed out like that.”

I feel ambushed by the whole situation.

I’m still waking up but I take a second to process it “So when’s the next one?”

She replies, “Unfortunately, the Mars shuttle only flies three times a month, twice a day. That was the last one, and there are currently no options for two weeks. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience”

I’m still processing, but try to negotiate with her, “So what else can I get? my clients need their package.”

She responds, “Well your boss, Tim I believe, has left a package and note for you about that.”

I open the packages and letter.

“Hey, Barry. Give me a call when you get this. You’ve got a new mission. You're now taking the daily flight tomorrow to the moon for ‘Faded Wolf’s’ surprise show next week for the moon colony at the Lunar Lounge.

PS: Mars mail carrier will take the package; don’t worry. But you gotta watch these guys again!

You owe me!

And the label!”

Really? I quit.

[callierwhite-blog]

Just how Many Watch Series Do You Believe There Are?

I recently began an internet business selling watch series, and while researching my niche market, I was overwhelmed at the vast range of styles and brands available.

You may pick any kind of watchseries to discover the different styled watches, the color of watch faces, the colour of watch rings, Stainless Steel watches, gold plated watches wood watches are readily available. When you enter the expensive selection of watches you find a whole new range of watches with diamonds, solid gold watches, titanium, and plenty of other precious metal watches and jewel filled watches.

The watch movements vary as well from manual to fully electronic with a few newer style watches having heart monitors, temperature, speed, and a whole lot of analytical information accessible. Then you will find dive watches moving down to 4000 Mtr, now that's a way down but heavy sea divers need reliable watches which can deal with the pressure at these depths so that it's great to find a range of watch series which cater to the person and all the other divers who like the ocean or cave diving. Putlockers new site.

Glamorous watchseries compose a large area of the industry because everyone wants to look different from the woman next door. New watches come on the market daily so keep watching or hunting for your favorite kind of watch, there's something out there to keep you happy when you look at all the watches available at the moment. I saw a watch another day which has straps going in various directions to tell the time that I was really intrigued as to how it works, it could be a real talking point in a party or with your buddies.

Initially, people could just tell time from sundials which they put over doors of the houses or businesses, revealing midday along with the four stages of sunlight as it travels throughout the daytime, the other kinds of clocks for notification time were water clocks, not easy to transfer when you had been on the transfer. In the 1500s with the creation of these springs, portable clocks and watches were created. One locksmith from Germany Peter Henlein created the"Nuremberg Eggs" which could be put on the table rather than being suspended from the wall, they just had an hour as the second hand was not introduced until much later and they dropped time as the spring unwound but they had been popular with the wealthy folks since they were a genuinely portable timepiece.

With the debut of the humble spring that the world of clocks and watch series took a giant leap into the forwards. Men did not wear wrist watches back in the 1800's they had been thought to be too feminine and only ladies wore them.  Men had an opinion on a chain which they stored in the pocket of their vest that was known as a fob pocket. Remember in the old movies, there would be someone standing in the train station taking his watch on a gold chain from his fob pocket assessing the moment, now the fob pockets are still around the vest of men's 3 piece suits.  It was only when someone tied among those watches into his wrist with a piece of string so he could retained track of time and maintain working that he requested a watchmaker to create a watch he could wear on his wrist, two or three lugs were attached to the sides of the watchseries and a strap was placed on so that he could put on it.

It took a long time for this to become popular as the first actual use was at the military and watches were worn by soldiers so they could synchronicity battle strategies, check time without fumbling with a pocket watch, Soldiers wore watches in the Boer War and in WW1.  Following the Great War more men were wearing watches as they had done during the war and it became recognized as a tribute to those who'd served their nations on the battle fields so from now on women were not the only ones wearing watches. By 1920 it had been fashionable for men to wear a wristwatch and new designs were being made by a whole assortment of watchmakers, glass faces were substituted with plastics, different metals were used for the casing, minute palms were inserted and the rest is history.

When I was kid, watches were not really worn by children unless you were out of the upper course as most families couldn't afford to buy their children a watch, even when out playing one day that I remember asking my friend what the period was but neither of us had a watch so that he pulled up his sleeve appeared in his arm and said"A hair passed a freckle" and then we burst out laughing, and it reveals how far we have come over a short period of time. How many children have a watch today?

The first watchseries I ever got was back in 1960.  Two sailors we knew had just returned from Singapore and brought these watches back for us as presents I do recall they did not last all that long maybe because I didn't know how to treat or look after it correctly, I likely over-wound it, breaking the most important spring.

A couple of years later I had been given another watch from a close friend of the family that he had been an American Pilot also it was a golden Lovably that I have to this day though I don't wear it. Each time that I see or think about it, I see the man who gave me it personally, sadly he passed away a brief time ago so he along with his watch are always in my mind.

Its funny once you have your wrist watch on, it will become part of you, and you don't give another thought all day, you assess it quite regularly for time doing this activity without considering it. Then 1 day you leave your watch off your wrist and all day long you fret about where you left it and it nags you until it's back in your wrist.  A few minutes later I seemed to inspect the time for my trip without a watch. My heart sank, I hurried back down to the bathrooms and my opinion was still there around the basin - there are some honest people in the world.  I had such a powerful feeling of loss when my opinion was missing for that short time, it confirmed how much the watch meant to me. Putlocker9.

A few months after I wasn't so lucky. I had been on a ferry traveling from Italy to Greece, the same thing occurred, washed my hands, left the watch about the basin then went up on deck, I soon understood that I had left the watch in the restroom but this time when I got back it was gone. I reported it missing and had it broadcast across the ships speakers but the person who took it did not return it and I felt naked without it on my wrist, '' There was a strong feeling of loss, I guess we all have feelings like that when something is removed from us, something we treasure. So look after your Watches.

The more I look into Watch collection I discover they certainly have come a long way in the sundials produced in 500AD into the century we are living in now, going to the Moon and beyond, people love inventing new ideas and there is a lot more discoveries to be made on how we calculate TIME along with the humble watch will be traveling as fast as another discovery. Keep inventing. Read More.

[donupfield74955-blog]

Hop Is The Greatest Music Genre

The previous few years have been something of a golden age for music documentaries, with the Oscar-profitable success of Trying to find Sugar Man and 20 Ft From Stardom opening up the field for films about less obvious stars. The top-down technique begins by laying out the tremendous-genres, usually in a chronologic order. This creates a two-dimensional area where the horizontal axis determines the tremendous-genre and the vertical axis determines the time. The result is a rigid structure with adjoining super-genres through which each genre is placed on some extent (or collection of factors) that automatically dictates the corresponding tremendous-genre and year of origin. Frith, Simon (1996) Performing Rites: On the Value of Popular Music. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Harvard College Press. As soon as known as Nation & Western music, this music kind is developed mostly in the southern United States of America, with roots in conventional folks music, spirituals and blues. Possibly the clearest lower set of definitions of music genres is present in award conditions, http://www.audio-transcoder.com resembling in the Grammy Awards. In this context, the genres are primarily based on a wide range of criteria — for instance, Different" is based on what the music shouldn't be; Youngsters's" relies on the viewers; Musical Show" is predicated on type; and many others. — which are applied persistently and over time in order that a practice of definition is constructed up.

Reggae music has its roots in a Jamaican music style called Ska, primarily based on R&B, Jazz and Caribbean musical traditions. Ska originated in the 1960s, and later spawned the world-well-known genre of Reggae. After I think of metalcore I think of: as I lay dying, august burns crimson, parkway drive, trivium, unearth. great bands who made superior music. The battleground upon which many a skirmish in the alt-tradition wars would be fought. Witch Home had the excellence of being one of many few hipster genres that, like high elves denying the rise of Sauron, even many die-hard hipsters refused to acknowledge as being actual. Seems it did not matter either means, because by the time Salem managed to release an album, all their imitators had either signed to Tri Angle or moved on to rave music.

Electronic dance music is a popular music supposed for dance in golf equipment. The music has repetitive beat and synthesized backtrack. For the reason that starting of music, many people have been listening to numerous forms of them. The varieties are on account of traditions, hustle, musical instruments, pitch loudness and different parameters. Completely different music varieties have their intervals via which they flourish and develop into most outstanding. Initially, style affected just one or few societies or nations, however in the present day music and style are frequent internationally. Listed below are the several types of EDM.

Hip-Hop style is nearly uniquely recognized as a single topic (subject 2). The remainder of the music genres seem to be identified as another matter. On the International Music Summit Ibiza, we introduced our first wave of Artist Ambassadors who might be giving their time and influence freed from charge to support The Affiliation For Electronic Music and its campaigns. Songs like these integrated components of each disco and synthpop and paved the way for synthpop to stand on its own as a dance music subgenre. This track is extra of a precursor to future bass than the precise thing, but I'm including it as a result of it's an necessary touchstone in the music's early growth. Bristol, England, producer Liam McLean referred to as his gritty mutation of dubstep "purple sound" (a term he's since distanced himself from), and its mixture of buzzy synths and slowed-down, hip-hop-influenced beats was a direct affect on numerous future bass producers, particularly youthful artists equivalent to Denver's Gunskt and London's Digital Mozart, who sometimes convey slightly more swagger and menace to their sound. The quality of Uncover Weekly's picks is so consistently good, it's kind of uncanny. After I obtained a number of excellent playlists in a row, I couldn't cease desirous about how Spotify had figured me out, together with 75 million other people. Answering that query led me down the rabbit hole of how the system works in the first place—and how an algorithm can delve into the deeply subjective realm of music to predict the songs that can make my pulse race and my head nod. Music comes from everywhere, and so do the names we name it by. There is a longstanding cliche that solely the music enterprise wants genre names - everybody else either likes it or they do not. That is, after all, bunk, as anybody who's heard sufficient folks trot out lines equivalent to "I like all music aside from rap and country" is aware. Not least because quite a lot of these genre names come from the artists themselves. The Beatles didn't stop touring till the summer time of 1966, but a yr earlier, on Rubber Soul, you'll be able to hear them deciding to make the recording studio their home. The harmonies had been trickier, the recording techniques extra thought of, and the instrumentation more diversified as the band expanded upon the standard rock band format they'd established. Maybe the sitar stood out essentially the most on the time, however dig all these pianos, usually electronically tweaked, most notably to impersonate a harpsichord on "In My Life." The lyrics were both more acerbic and allusive, questioning yesterday's romantic optimism. You may say this represents "maturity," name it "art" or credit score it for transferring rock away from singles to album-size statements — however regardless Rubber Soul accelerated popular music's creative arms race, driving opponents like the Stones, the Seashore Boys and Dylan to dismantle expectations and create new ones. Our sense of the place one genre" ends and another begins, Wald argues, is time-contingent: a product of our cultural moment. Maybe you don't suppose the Beatles are in charge for fashionable music turning into organized along the traces of arbitrary, https://www.goodreads.com/ often racist terminology (what number of completely different phyla of African-American music have been loosely bracketed into the soul" class?) devised by label A&Rs, promoters, report retailer clerks, and so on. But surely most would agree that genre tags are sometimes poisonous , or on the very least, misleading.There was a wonderous flicker of hope that started in the early 2000s. We noticed bands like Linkin Park , Nickel Back & Evenescence give technique to other acts comparable to My Chemical Romance, Him, Taking back Sunday, Hinder and plenty of others. Although not typical, it was glorious to my ears to right here any of those acts vs. most important stream "blah-blah" music. The quiet but forceful nature of Assured Individualists is clearly reflected of their selection of music: these personalities scored highest for classical (76%), rock (79%, tied with Fixed Improvement), and metallic (42%) genres. One can easily think about them finding one thing interesting in both harmonious and technically demanding classical passages, and intense rock or metal tracks. Some may even mix the two, embracing symphonic steel, for instance.

[ionchef]

King of Anything - An Escaflowne Fanfiction

King of Anything

Act 1, Chapter 3

In which Celena curtsies and Allen drinks Martini.

It was quite rare that Fanelia's royals received visitors from the ruling family of other countries, what with the dragon infestation and all. It was also quite rare that the king was anything but thrilled about the attention public treatments of foreign relations would get in his precious free time. Except, maybe when the one visiting was a dear friend he'd known since childhood.

Only a few years his senior, princess Millerna Aston was the youngest of the ruling Asturian king's daughters. A tragic illness had taken the middle sister, Marlene, so the loss of a sibling was something which created an even stronger friendship between them.

Relations between Asturia and Fanelia were to be deepened a few years ago after Folken claimed the throne but then the whole fiasco with the rite of dragon slaying happened, so needless to say that whole plan went poof. It would have been easy enough. Millerna's older sister, Eries, was supposed to be wed to Folken. They would have made such a great pair and no wonder Eries was so completely down in the dumps about his death. Not only had they known each other since they were little, but they actually harbored real feelings for each other. A rare thing with such unions.

The strategy changed after that and Marlene's death. Eries was instead to take the Asturian throne since the laws were progressive enough to let a woman rule alone there, but she was too shook about Folken's death, even now still mourning after all these years. It was unlikely that Eries, although always appearing reserved and seemingly strong on the outside, would ever recover from her broken heart.

What a mood killer to think about it again right as the gates in the wall opened to admit the armored vehicle convoy. They were bringing in the visitors who had landed at the airstrip not far from the city perimeters. Luckily, no dragons had been sighted in the area around that time but just in case, a good number of the melef drones had been sent on patrol. The airstrip was really just a paved area in the woods with a few bunker-like hangars which housed equipment and the royal jet. Staff communicated with, and coordinated flights remotely.

Just like everything else, levi ships had also evolved over time to become aerodynamic, metal pieces of engineered ingenuity. They were still powered by levi stones at their core, but the energy was now being more thoroughly harnessed. Thanks to mechanical designers and progress in technology, they looked less like ships which sailed the oceans and were much, much faster.

If civilians wanted to travel to other countries, there were enough commercial services which overlayed in Fanelia for a short time but none had their home base here- no surprise there. On occasion, dragons could be spotted from high up in the air. Seeing one was kind of cool but only if one didn't consider the havoc they could wreak upon that small, pressurized, metal tube if given the chance.

When Van and Merle stood on the mosaic in the palace square, waiting to officially greet the royal envoy, the king couldn't help but grin a bit when noticing that Merle took special care to chew her gum as discreetly as possible to avoid it being taken from her. She was looking forward to seeing Millerna because they both were party girls at heart. He already dreaded this evening when they would drag him along to the Mystic Moon, Millerna's favorite place to visit when in Fanelia.

Van wasn't fond of the nightclub. Oodles of odd high-society folk liked to dance the night away there, usually several notches too imbibed. In the occasion that he did show his face there, women vied for his attention and men in positions of leadership or high office tried to pander to him without shame, hoping to reach new heights in their careers. As if a whiff of vodka from their mouths would sway Van in their favor.

More than once, he'd wished he could have just given them a firm nudge and watched them fall over to be collected by security but he couldn't be seen doing that. Even though, no doubt, many of them woke up crapulous the next day, memories slowly dawning on them about how they had embarrassed themselves in front of the king. Sadly though, he was the head of his country and required to treat people with respect. Even when they were drunk off their asses, especially if they were related to diplomatic offices from other countries.

But anyway, this was a problem for future Van. Present Van actually cracked a smile when he saw princess Millerna exit the elevators first and confidently make her way towards him as the forefront of the entourage. She hadn't changed much from the last time they'd seen her except that she probably was even more radiant. No wonder her father had her protected so well.

A whole group of guys in navy blue suits along with a younger woman in a white sundress tagged along not too far behind. The princess herself wore light pink, her favorite color, and the dress itself, although proper enough, still hugged her body snugly. With her long, wavy, blonde hair and periwinkle eyes, she was nothing short of stunning. Hey, nobody could blame a guy for noticing those things. She was standing right in front of them by now, after all.

As soon as elaborate greetings between the king, the princesses, and the officials concluded, some pictures were taken from the few press representatives who had been admitted. Then, the group was off towards the palace where everybody finally was able to relax again after the double doors shut tightly behind them. Millerna's high heels click-clacked even through the crimson carpet covering the marble floor before the three royals came to a stop.

Not able to contain her excitement anymore, Merle squealed and both women hugged tightly in a proper greeting which prompted another, rare smile from the usually reserved king. "I'm so excited you're here Millerna!" Merle exclaimed as the other princess hugged her back tightly.

"Me too!" Millerna replied and then held Merle at arm's length. "Wow, your hair is so different I barely recognized you at first glance. You look more mature."

"Oh but wait," Merle laughed and reached into the pockets of her blue etui dress, only to retrieve two rubber bands. While chewing on her gum more shamelessly, she made quick work of the pink tresses and in no time had them back up in a pair of trademark buns on top of her head. "Better?" She asked Millerna.

"Much better. Now you look more like the cute kitten I used to know," Millerna nodded, pearly whites showing through a satisfied smile.

Van snorted a bit with a slightly raised eyebrow at the comment. Sweet kitten? More like a sly fox at times. Oh well. Much love, though.

With so many unfamiliar faces behind Millerna, a few more introductions were in order. On cue, a guy with long, blonde hair and the only other woman in the group approached.

Millerna motioned for them to come closer. "Van, this is Allen. He is my new head of security."

The blonde guy bowed lightly at the waist. "King Van." He greeted politely. "Behind me are our pilot and my second, Gaddess, as well as Reeden, Kio, Ort, Pyle, Katz, and Teo," he introduced the rest of the crew who bowed in greeting.

"…and this lovely lady is his sister Celena," Millerna continued. "She may look innocent but don't let that fool you. She hopes to become a member of Asturian security too. Until then, she's permitted to trail along and shadow Allen and the rest of the guys."

Celena, the young woman in question, offered both Fanelian royals a perfect curtsy. "Your highnesses."

Merle immediately liked her, Van could tell. She nodded eagerly, sensing an ally and fellow party girl only waiting for a chance to show it. "You can call me Merle when we're alone. It's totally fine. I can already tell we're going to get along well. Just wait until tonight when you get your first taste of Fanelia out and about. We're all going to the Mystic Moon! It's the best nightclub in town!" Noticing Van's scowl, she elbowed him gently in the ribs. "It's going to be awesome. I'm there with my friends a lot but it's going to be even better with you all."

Van was fully aware of how well she was plowing through his lack of enthusiasm- with the unyielding strength of a pack mule. Really though, it was good to have Millerna and her together. One, because he was hoping that Merle would take on some of Millerna's more mature qualities and two, because having a friend like her around made the palace instantly feel warmer.

The Mystic Moon's location was easily visible from anywhere in the capital because of its sky beam. A solid, blue column of light shone straight up into the inky night sky like a guiding beacon and young Fanelians flocked to it on weekend evenings like moths to a lamp. Likewise, Hitomi, Yukari, and Amano were on the way there.

Being that it was a Saturday night, the streets were livelier still than during the week. Some restaurants had extended seating outside in the pedestrian zone and on sidewalks. Groups of people enjoyed a late dinner and friends sat together for a glass of wine and to talk story. Hitomi would have much preferred to do so too, but Yukari was too excited to see the club for the first time and Hitomi didn't want to be a downer. Even though the prospect of mingling with a crowd of strangers didn't appeal to Hitomi, she at least owed her best friend an attempt at fun.

So there they were, ready to party. While Amano was dressed not much different than usual, in a pair of slacks and polo shirt, the girls had taken the opportunity to wear things bought on a whim during shopping sprees which likely would never fit another occasion. Yukari sported a purple, strapless dress and was proud to have matched it with her favorite heels to ensure maximum dance capability.

Hitomi had, after some persuasion from Yukari, finally given in and cut the tag off a pair of hunter green shorts made from some velvet-like fabric she'd had in the back of her closet for longer than she could remember. They were tighter than she would have liked but now, with the tag off, she'd sort of committed to at least wearing them once. A pair of strappy, black heels in addition had even made her bestie whistle at the sight of her legs. Too bad her usual sneakers really weren't an option. Thankfully, combined with a long-sleeved, ivory, high-collar blouse, the outfit looked more classy than trashy.

The Mystic Moon was located in one of the old, historic mansions in old-town, not far from where they lived. It had been renovated on the inside and some on the outside, thereby keeping the original structure and charm of the building intact.

The line to get in already wrapped around the corner and by the looks of some of those in that line, they'd been waiting for a good while. Some left eventually when it wasn't moving for a long time or were turned away by the hostess for random reasons after finally making it to the front. Few attempted to hide the looks of disappointment as they walked off, apparently too casually dressed or not important-looking enough to be admitted.

All this waiting in line to be let into a club they were barely good enough for. This was starting pretty great already, Hitomi thought while wondering what the night was to bring. There was a separate line for those who were on the guest list. It made Hitomi feel weird to bypass all the other people but Yukari marched up to the hostess with such confidence she had to admire her.

The woman eyed them suspiciously when Yukari announced that they were on the guest list. She scanned their attire, taking her sweet time, then finally clicked her tongue. They probably reeked like peasant but Yukari was calmly smiling at her, imperturbable as always. When the hostess scanned the guest list, her red lips curled in a somewhat dissatisfied manner because she couldn't turn them away.

"Go on," was all she said and motioned for the giant mountain of a bouncer behind her to let them pass. He grunted in acknowledgment and used one of his meaty arms to pull open the nearest one of the brushed steel double doors next to him.

Yukari beamed at him in passing and Hitomi wasn't far behind, followed by Amano. Sound waves of a pumping bass hit them before their eyes adjusted to the visual overload that was the inside of the club.

In front of them, a buzzing mass of people was dancing and drinking, moving through a kaleidoscope of colors. Although the club was mostly dark, light emitted from the inside of glass tables, the structure of the bar areas in different locations throughout the club, and pillars that went all the way up to the tall ceiling made for an otherworldly kind of mood. It looked as if the place had been built with cosmic mortar and pestle. A big disco ball was mounted right in the center of the tall, vaulted ceiling and reflected the colorful lights around the club, casting stars across any surface it could reach.

"Wow," Hitomi allowed herself to say.

Yukari elbowed her, giggling. "This is awesome!"

Hitomi laughed. "Okay, this is pretty cool."

Amano couldn't help but admire the ambient too. While there were small tables to sit or stand by around the sides, the middle was reserved mainly for dancing and busy waitresses dressed in black expertly weaved through the crowd to deliver drinks to thirsty guests.

"Come on! Let's find Allen!" Yukari yelled in Hitomi and Amano's direction while taking her boyfriend's hand and already dragging him along. Hitomi followed them as they made their way around the side of the dancing crowd, dodging a few people who were so immersed in their moves they had strayed from the rest.

Allen had sent a message a few days ago, letting them know that they were on the guest list for this evening and that he'd be near the VIP area, mainly off duty with his second, Gaddess, in charge but still close to the princess just in case. Fanelia was known as extremely safe due to good diplomatic relations but being overly cautious never hurt.

"I see him," Amano announced, pointing to a set of three, wide steps straight towards the back. A long, red carpet was spread across the floor there and leading up the stairs with another hostess desk occupied by a duo much like that at the front door.

Not far behind the thick, velvet rope which separated the VIP area from that of the common people, a man in a dark blue suit with a martini glass stood half facing the crowd back there and half lazily scanning the area down where the three friends were. Although Hitomi knew that Amano and Allen were twins, seeing a nearly identical copy of Amano smile warmly at them was strange. His features were so strikingly similar.

The only difference was the hair. While Amano's was chestnut brown, Allen's was platinum blonde. It was the wildest thing. Hitomi tried to remember if the few times she'd seen Allen in younger years, his hair had already been this shade or if, perhaps, some hydrogen peroxide had been used to help with that.

As they neared the stairs, Allen lifted a hand in greeting. He moved to meet them halfway after the hostess stepped over to unhook the rope for him so he could exit the VIP area. His long hair trailed behind him when descending the stairs; and not without an obvious look of admiration from the hostess, Hitomi noticed. No wonder, Allen was quite the looker in many regards, tall and handsome like his brother but with a different style.

Allen deposited his Martini glass on a tall side table in passing, this one illuminated pink from the inside. The guys wasted no time in greeting each other with a manly hug and slapped each other on the back.

"Hey little brother," Allen greeted Amano.

Amano rolled his eyes. "Don't start that again. By two minutes…," he trailed off, shaking his head lightly, knowing that their never-ending argument already had a longer beard than Emperor Dornkirk of Zaibach.

Yukari looked back and forth between them, obviously a bit overwhelmed by seeing the two next to each other after four years. She snapped out of it when Amano placed his arm around her shoulders, thereby popping any developing phantasy bubbles involving the handsome duo and herself.

Allen took Yukari's hand, bowing over it in a formal gesture that was probably making her blush a bit, but who could be sure in that lighting. "It's been a while, Yukari. I see Amano finally had the guts to follow his heart."

That made Amano pull Yukari a bit closer against himself. "Better late than never."

The three laughed and by now Hitomi felt fairly awkward off on the side, pretending to be busy scanning the crowd during the reunion. She glanced towards the VIP area where Allen had just come from. There was a small but packed dancefloor with a bar on the right but on the left, even further back, bead curtains hung all the way from the ceiling to the floor. They looked like somebody had strung up diamonds but they certainly weren't real, or were they? Hitomi wondered what could be behind them. Probably a seating area to give the high society some privacy when chatting with each other or otherwise…occupied.

Yukari's voice reached Hitomi from the side. "Allen, do you remember…"

"Hitomi," Allen's voice rang clearly over the sound of the music.

She turned her head around and up to lock her eyes with Allen's. They were ocean blue and regarded her with curiosity. Just like with Yukari, he took one of Hitomi's hands but instead of just bowing, he kissed the back of it like he would no doubt for some highborn lady. Despite the absurdity, Hitomi couldn't deny herself some enjoyment out of the formality.

"How could I forget Hitomi. You were one of Amano's best friends, after all. It was my bad for not making enough time to hang out with all of you back when we were younger." Allen held on to Hitomi's hand for just a bit longer than necessary. "I'll be sure to make up for some of that tonight," he finished with a slight wink to emphasize his promise.

"It's good to see you again, Allen," Hitomi responded. It really was, although the sudden interest from his side was unexpected.

More conversation ensued after the four of them ordered drinks at the nearest bar. Yukari immediately wanted to know more about princess Millerna's schedule in Fanelia, of course, to which Allen simply smiled knowingly.

"Well, actually she is here tonight although you can't see her because she's somewhere in the crowd on the dancefloor up there. My crew is strategically placed around the area to ensure her safety. He said all this with aplomb, thereby earning him looks of awe from the girls and a proud nod from his brother.

"Didn't think she'd be here! I thought this was something like your night off," Amano said.

"A bodyguard is never really off duty, but she's cool with it. Underneath it all, she's really just a person like you and I and she has siblings too don't forget that. She insisted that I take the time to see you after I mentioned that my little brother lives in Fanelia." Allen twirled the stem of a new Martini glass between his fingers as he talked.

Amano combed several fingers through his hair. "Here we go again."

Yukari gripped his upper arm in a gesture that left no room for arguments. "You know what? It's way to amazing here to stand around and talk. Plus, I love this song so why don't we give that dancefloor a try?" She didn't wait for an answer and instead pulled Hitomi in front of herself, then pushed her towards Allen. "We even got the right amount of dance partners." Winking, she already had Amano's hand in hers and was on the way to join the crowd.

Hitomi smiled a bit nervously while smoothing her short hair behind her ears. She did like to dance but that was normally done at low-key parties with Yukari and not with a guy like Allen at the hippest nightclub in town.

"Shall we?" Allen asked her, extending his hand expectantly.

Well, she couldn't think of a tangible reason to say no. Not that she wanted to think of one.

While Merle, Millerna, and Celena danced their collective hearts out, Van was content to sulk moodily in their reserved seating area, nursing a glass of neat whiskey. The bass was pumping in his ears and even made the silly bead curtain separating their table and couches from the dancefloor and bar shake. At least he'd be left in peace here unless somebody choose to come looking, of course.

He ran a hand through his hair which was neatly combed and briefly wondered what it'd be like to come here incognito. Would he enjoy it more if nobody knew who he was? If he were to be able to hang out with a group of normal people? Like his…ahem…acquaintance from the coffee shop?

Damn.

He'd done such a good job up to this point to not think about her again. However, the tricky part when trying to not think about something was that he had to think about it to remind himself what not to think about. Considering that, he'd actually done a lousy job because it required him to think about her at least once a day.

Ha. Once a day? If only…

It also didn't help that just at that moment, he spotted a way too familiar face near the bottom of the steps. He could see her between the cracks in the curtain.

Damn. Damn. Damn.

If he hadn't been sure before, he definitely was now because she was staring right at where he was sitting, just she obviously couldn't see him behind the sparkly diamond fringe. Seeing her here was like spotting an island in a vast, wild ocean. She seemed a bit out of place but it wasn't due to her looks because she was by far more tastefully dressed than most of the women he'd fended off earlier this evening. She seemed out of place because this obviously wasn't her natural environment.

He saw Allen greet a guy who looked a whole lot like him, no doubt the brother Millerna had mentioned he was going to meet. And there was the other woman from the coffee shop. The one who'd been in line in front of him the other day, so excited about the upcoming visit to the Mystic Moon.

After some elaborate show of courtesies from Allen's side, the four went further away so Van couldn't see them anymore but now he certainly couldn't stop his thoughts from spinning. And spinning they were, around the image of a certain short-haired, green-eyed woman. Why couldn't he just stop thinking about her? Pondering this for a while, he then waved over a waitress who was only too eager to assist her king.

They were all out of breath when they ordered a new round of drinks at the bar. Despite everything, Hitomi had to admit that she was having a great time. Allen was a good enough dancer to make up for her level of ineptitude with his confident moves. A few gulps of water and more potent drinks later they were nothing short of stunned when the VIP hostess appeared beside them and told them that they had been invited to enter that area.

"Wait but who…," Yukari began to ask but the hostess interrupted her.

"Look, do you want to come back there or not? I don't have time for this," the woman said over her shoulder while already on the way back to her post.

Amano chuckled, "now that's a pure-bred Rottweiler. She hardly even needs the bouncer's help."

Shrugging, the quartet made their way towards the VIP area, albeit a bit weary still. The hostess stood and looked them up and down, much like her colleague outside while unhooking the thick, red piece of rope to allow them passage. She was clearly not in favor of having any of them except Allen in this area but couldn't do anything about it despite her position as a gatekeeper. Some higher power had overwritten her authority.

To Hitomi, the grass wasn't much greener on the other side. Except that people here were perhaps dressed even fancier, looked more self-important, and the drinks they held looked more expensive too. Half-full bottles of Champaign and liquor had been carelessly left on tables littered with overturned glasses and crumpled bills, including traces of white powder which looked a lot like cocaine. It instantly gave the term high-society a whole new meaning.

They stood there for a few minutes, looking around to take it all in again, minus Allen who was already used to it. Nobody paid attention to them and even Yukari was still a bit taken aback. She probably couldn't believe her luck about having the chance to come all the way to the heart of the club on her first visit.

They were still standing at the edge of the dancefloor when Hitomi looked behind herself and saw somebody she didn't expect to see again in real life. All the tumult receded and everything around her grew hazy like standing in a dark tunnel with him at the end. Aw crap.

Dressed in a black suit with the royal crest embroidered on the breast pocket, sans sunglasses and with his hair combed back, the king of Fanelia could hardly be mistaken for anybody else. A few people who'd been busy dancing in that area took a moment to stare and exchange some hushed words which were easily lost in the sound around them. Yukari, Amano, and Allen were still looking the other way, pointing at the bar, when he came to a stop in front of Hitomi.

Neither of them said anything until Van offered a "hello."

"Hi…," Hitomi answered in an equally awkward way.

Cue for the others to finally notice the person who'd joined them. That seeing the king of this very country suddenly stand a mere few feet away shocked them would have been an understatement. Well, everyone except Allen again, of course, who was merely surprised to see Van approach them.

"King Van," Allen acknowledged him. "Was there anything you needed from me?"

Van looked at Hitomi for another moment before shaking his head. "No." He then proceeded to kick himself mentally. He'd thought about what exactly to say but now it was all gone. Smooth. Real smooth. Distraction! Now! "Is this your brother?" He asked although it was quite obvious that the guy next to Allen couldn't be anybody but an identical twin.

Allen was taken aback that the king had decided to not only venture out into the open but now also showed interest in his family life. "Indeed, your majesty. This is Amano, his girlfriend Yukari, and their friend Hitomi." Allen introduced them all. "We all grew up together in Asturia."

Van didn't crack so much as smile, one hand clutching his glass of whiskey like a lifeline. Meanwhile, Yukari's eyes were still as big as saucers, words having failed her. Was this a dream? The awkwardness of the situation was completely lost on her. Hitomi, on the other hand, was close to bursting out in hysterical laughter. How was it that she kept stumbling into him?

Van nodded at the group as a collective greeting. "I saw you with them and thought it would be better to keep everybody together."

Amano was the first of the others to say something, shaking his girlfriend out of her stupor. "Thank you for the invitation, your majesty. Would you excuse us for a moment though? I think my girlfriend is thirsty." That said, he took her hand and coaxed her out of the semi-circle.

Hitomi could hear her protest a bit.

"Amano, why are you pulling me away? It's the king for Pete's sake…," Yukari huffed when they were out of earshot.

"Because you've been staring at him since the very first second," Amano laughed. "Calm down and we'll go back over there eventually, okay?" A mere warm, loving gaze from him usually did wonders in cooling her down.

Yukari rolled her eyes and nodded. "Fine. You're right. Thanks for making sure I don't say anything weird."

"Not a bad idea that with the drink," Allen said. "Hitomi, can I get you anything too?"

"Uh…sure," she answered.

"Your majesty? Anything?" Allen asked Van too.

"No. I'm alright," he answered and lifted his whiskey glass.

After Allen made his way towards the bar, it was just Van and Hitomi continuing their stare-off.

Hitomi finally laughed, but it was more because she was at a loss for what to say and do than actual amusement. It wasn't like this could get any more awkward. Enough shilly shallies.

The few drinks she'd had and the extravagant, overpowering atmosphere made her bold. "What now? Are we going to pass the time dancing? We know each other well enough after all." The absurdity of it all.

"No…I hadn't planned on it," he responded ruefully while taking in the sight of her in the party outfit. Although she looked glammy with the velvet shorts and high heels, the blouse gave her an aristocratic look and only underlined her natural beauty.

Even if he wanted to dance with her in a place like this, he couldn't. Not in a club where more than half the people were drunk, on drugs, or both. The possibility of somebody snapping a picture of him doing anything that would shame the royal house was too big. If was different when his little sister was spotted on the dancefloor. She was known as a party girl, a bit younger, and the darling of the media but he needed to be taken seriously at all times.

"Then…what am I supposed to be doing while we wait? Pretend to converse with you?" Hitomi asked him. "Like we just met for the first time?"

She was becoming impatient. Not many people would usually get away with talking to Van in such a way- it was quite sobering.

This was going absolutely not excellent. If only he could remember what he'd planned on saying earlier to smooth out the wrinkles.

Van scowled at her. She was testier than he remembered and his cheek tingled in remembrance.

Finally, another person saved them from their own stubbornness.

"Van! Look at you coming out of your hiding place!" A melodic voice proclaimed from the side.

"Millerna," Van said a bit gratefully.

"Who is this? Hi, I'm Millerna," she introduced herself, not even waiting for Van to do it.

The blonde was almost as tall as Van in her heels and shook Hitomi's hand eagerly. "Are you a friend of Allen's? I saw him here just a moment ago."

Allen was still not back and a quick look around confirmed what he had told them earlier. That Millerna's security detail was positioned at various places in the club. A guy in a navy blue suit was close by but still far enough away to give them privacy.

"Y-yes, your majesty," Hitomi said, the title feeling strange in her mouth.

"You don't have to call me that. At least not when it's just us. Call me Millerna," she offered.

"Uhm…alright…Millerna," Hitomi said.

By the gods. She was standing in the middle of the Mystic Moon's VIP area, talking to not just one but two royals, which doubled the number of royals she had ever talked to in her life.

"How do you know Allen? We haven't been to Fanelia in years, and even then it was before he became head of my security detail." Millerna asked curiously.

Hitomi felt a bit more at ease. The princess was clearly more laid back than she would have expected. "I'm actually from Asturia too. So is my friend Yukari. She is Amano's girlfriend. The three of us share an apartment here in town."

"What a crazy coincidence!" Millerna exclaimed. "Why'd you leave Asturia? Too boring because no dragons?" She joked.

Van stood next to them as the two women fell into an easy conversation. He was really quite relieved that Millerna had shown up. It gave him an excuse to look at Hitomi without the need to say anything at all. So far, he had only gotten himself in trouble or been a nuisance when alone with her. Not a great track record. Maybe it was better if there were other people and no disguises.

When Hitomi and Millerna arrived at another topic which they could bond over, both their eyes lit up. While Hitomi was nearing the end of her nursing education, Millerna was on her way to become a physician. She'd taken up medical studies despite her father's vehement protests and continued them even after Eries had threatened to abdicate after Folken's death, thereby making Millerna the only eligible heir in the event that she'd make her threat a reality.

Allen eventually came and delivered a drink to Hitomi but Millerna insisted that he re-join his brother and Yukari at the bar, which he did, albeit reluctantly. Hitomi had a feeling that Amano was keeping Yukari away on purpose still, to make sure the alcohol wouldn't prompt her to say things in front of the king and princess she'd later on regret. Millerna assured Allen that Hitomi and she were now best friends and that they had important things to talk about. The only reason Van was allowed to stick around was, well, who would tell a king to butt off? It of course also helped that he didn't say a word while the women were talking.

On the other end of the long bar, a guy with silver hair was playing absentmindedly with the ice in his empty glass. His eyes scanned the crowd without aim, watching people dance, laugh, and yell at each other over the loud music. Those fools.

Dilandau Albatou came solely for the people-watching and drink. Definitely not for the dancing and horrible music. Clad in a merlot shirt and black jeans, he was one of the more casually dressed people here. However, as a member of the Zaibach attaché corps, he never had trouble getting into the Mystic Moon no matter how he was dressed.

Reaching into a pocket, he retrieved a small plastic bag containing a single, white pill. Drugs weren't anything too uncommon here and the effects some of the stuff had on others was too entertaining to not sit back and watch. Sometimes, people did downright cringe-worthy stuff when high.

After ordering another round, he slipped the pill into one of two drinks in front of him before taking a sip from his own gin and tonic. He waited until one of the waitresses he knew well came by to load her tray with new orders.

Dilandau stopped the woman with the wavy, teal hair as she picked up drinks from the bartender. "Sylphy. I'm feeling generous tonight. Would you bring this to someone for me?"

"Sure. Who do you want me to bring it to?" Sylphy asked with a facial expression that suggested mild indifference.

Dilandau was regarded as a weirdo in certain circles. As an albino, his outward appearance was unusual. Pale skin, eyes the color of rosé, and nearly white hair weren't exactly what women would list as top desirable features. Although money had, more often than not, helped make them forget about that. It wasn't like he ever felt like wasting time with pleasantries in a woman's company anyway.

In his position, he enjoyed all the honors of a noble but was content to remain mostly antisocial. When he came to the Mystic Moon, he rarely left his favorite seat at the bar. The reason he was still a favorite among the staff was that at least he tipped well.

"Dealer's choice," Dilandau answered with a lazy grin. "Bring it to whoever looks like they could use it."

Shrugging, the waitress tossed her long hair over one shoulder before placing the glass on the tray, grabbing it and walking off into the crowd, weaving through it carefully.

Taking a big swig of his drink, he nearly choked on it when, very unexpectedly, a single finger poked his shoulder. Who the hell was dumb enough to approach him?

"Hey," a female voice demanded his attention.

"What?" Dilandau asked, obviously annoyed and not even turning around because he was trying to not lose track of Sylphy in the crowd. She was moving fast, doing her job well so he didn't want to miss who she'd deliver the drink to. Then, when he saw her finally zoom in on someone and hand the glass over, he was finally ready to deal with whoever had intruded his personal space.

"Did you just spike someone's drink?" The female voice prodded.

Even though many people in the crowd were on some sort of drug, they took them with intent. Dilandau whirled around and immediately backed away a bit because the young woman's face was closer to his than expected. Two pale blue orbs stared at him so accusingly that it made him feel naked on the spot. It was as if she was trying to read his thoughts.

When focusing on her more closely, he realized that she was around his age. He should be able to deal with that easily, or not? "No," he still answered calmly. "I spiked a drink. Not someone's. There's a difference." Dilandau regarded the young woman lazily, challenging her.

Her hair was cut the same way as his, although with natural waves. She wore a pair of thin, black palazzo pants and a lavender, silk, crop top. Where a lot of women liked to take the opportunity here to dress up to the nines, she looked like she was on her way to Sunday brunch. It gave her an air of sophistication and that made him a little curious.

Contrastingly, the girl was holding a fresh bottle of beer by the neck, apparently having stood not far away to order a fresh round for herself. Beer wasn't really the choice beverage of high-society girls. She was pretty and interesting so far, he had to give her that.

What he said made her frown. "Well," she said innocently. " Why would you spike a random drink?"

Dilandau chuckled. "Just sharing some Intensified Luck in hopes it will make someone's evening."

Brow slightly furrowed, the girl slowly said, "right. Because let me guess, you're a generous guy?"

Celena looked at him with an expression that was completely unfamiliar to him. Not outright disapproval about doing something fucked up like drugging a random person but instead bypassing the outrage and going straight about finding his motivation for it. That, in combination with her confidence about approaching a guy who was a stranger to her in a bar, made his skin prickle uncomfortably.

"Shit. You won't believe how many snappy one-liners I just forgot and because of that, I need to go." Dilandau said while getting to his feet and downing his drink in one large gulp while simultaneously grabbing a black sports coat from the back of his barstool.

In any other situation, he'd never be the one to back down. Who was he, to be scared of some naïve girl getting under his skin by merely looking at him? Even as he pushed past her, moving her out of the way with his elbow carefully but deliberately, she didn't make any attempts to follow him. At least, she knew what was good for her. The dancing crowd swallowed him in the blink of an eye.

Fuming, Dilandau ducked into the men's room. His evening entertainment was ruined for the time being. The audacity of this blonde bitch. He was so mad he kicked the silver trashcan sitting in the corner which earned him an annoyed glance from the guy at the urinal.

"What the fuck are you staring at?" Dilandau challenged him.

The guy shook his head, finished his business, and left the bathroom without washing his hands. Pig.

Dilandau walked up to the sink and braced his hands onto the marble washbasin. His own reflection stared back at him. Of course, he'd taken some of the Intensified Luck himself too but he already knew what it'd make him feel like. Like he was actually in control for once. Weird, because normally people took drugs for the exact opposite reason, to be able to let go.

His knuckles turned white as he gripped the marble surface harder and focused on his mirror image. The more he looked at himself, the more the resurfacing images of his surreal nightmares threatened to swallow him again. Hissing at his own image, he tore himself away and strode into the far-off stall, banging the door closed before locking it.

The smoke detector in the closed-off room was still damaged from the last time he'd broken it. He leaned his back against the side wall and reached for the pack of cigarettes in one of his pockets. After lighting one up, he inhaled greedily and then rolled up the sleeves of his jacket to be more comfortable. At least here he'd be safe from the curious, little inquisitor for a while.

Hitomi had lost track of time. At some point, a waitress stopped by and handed her a drink.

"But I didn't order anything," Hitomi protested while the waitress thrust the gin and tonic into her hand.

"It's from this guy at the bar," she explained and gesticulated vaguely towards it.

Over the woman's shoulder, Hitomi could make out Allen, Yukari, and Amano. Allen smiled at her from across the distance and she raised the glass in a toast before tasting it. It had obviously been sent by him- how nice. She was actually having a good time now even though the dark king was still next to Millerna and her, hanging out there like a soggy raincloud. After two more sips, she was glad about the refreshment even though she'd already had a few drinks up to this point.

Van was pretending to look as much interested as a guy could reasonably be expected to be when two women were conversing animatedly, not including him. But that was just fine with him. It gave him all the time in the world to glance at Hitomi whenever appropriate, drinking in the sight of her cheerful face more eagerly than the whiskey. Her genuine nature made him feel more at ease in the usually dreaded environment.

More time passed as the women talked about similar classes they'd had and shared stories of training rotations with obnoxious patients and shocking diagnoses. It was Millerna's turn to tell a story about a guy she'd treated in the ER who had thought it a splendid idea to mend a wound on his leg with superglue, which then necessitated them to soak the affected area in acetone.

Hitomi wobbled a bit and smothered a laugh with her free hand when Millerna talked. It wasn't actually that funny but an unfamiliar feeling in her head stole away her ability to keep it together. "'Scuse me for a moment please," Hitomi said and stepped away as gracefully as possible. What in the hell was wrong with her. She hadn't had that much to drink, or did she?

She stumbled into the VIP restroom where the sound of music was more muffled and the light was brighter, aiming for the sinks. Two other women were in there, fixing their flawless warpaint and giggling amongst themselves. "…sooo hot in that black suit and I can't believe he's here tonight."

Hitomi stifled a groan as she put down her drink and turned on the faucet to splash cold water onto her face, not caring if it would smudge her own, much less elaborate makeup. The cool water helped her focus again better. As far as she could tell from her reflection staring back at her, she looked fairly normal. Phew. At least she wouldn't embarrass herself completely if she went back out there to let her friends know that she would be leaving.

The two high-society girls brushed past her with envious looks on their faces, one whispering something into the other's ear without Hitomi even taking note. Right. Good. So that was the way out. Kind of hard to tell with all the light and glitz in there. All she had to do was follow them. Back out into the cosmic darkness of the Mystic Moon. The difference in lighting and intensity in sound after the brief stop in the restroom hit her like a brick wall against the head. She was feeling worse and worse by the minute and the refreshing effect of the cold water had worn off fast.

She wobbled again, looking around but everything appeared strange. It was as if she had fallen through a rabbit hole and been spit out in another dimension. Faces were blurry and bodies moved too fast for her to follow. Walking felt like having to wade through molasses. She stumbled to the other side and reached the area across from the bathroom doors where a polished shelf along the whole length of the wall was meant to hold drinks for those whose hands were otherwise occupied. Only a few steps away, a couple made use of just that and had abandoned their champagne glasses while thoroughly exploring each other with hands and mouths.

Hitomi reached out to place her half-empty glass onto the shelf but, in her delirium, misjudged the distance. Only halfway on the secure surface before she let go, the glass fell and shattered, sending shards of expensive crystal, ice, and booze flying. Some splashed on her toes, some on the couple's legs and ice went sliding across the floor. They only spared a moment to shoot her an annoyed glance before stepping away further and resuming their previous activities.

In the meantime, Hitomi could do nothing but stare at the floor, dumbfounded and utterly at a loss for what had just happened. As if hypnotized, she stood in the same spot for what felt like an eternity before she, even despite the blaring music, heard glass crunch under the soles of, no doubt, expensive shoes and felt a firm hand on her shoulder.

Tbc...soonish.

A/N: Really, I had nearly 19 pages written already but decided to cut it off sooner for my own sanity. That said, ch 4 (or rather chapter 3, part 2) shouldn't be as long as this update. Alas, real life often gets in the way.

Thank you to everybody who's taken the time to review. It's motivating, as you can imagine. Keep it up!

Until next time!

[caesarsme]

Ysl Bag

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[zachsgamejournal]

PLAYING: Final Fantasy VII Remake

So, with all the side quests out of the way I'm now ready to urgently save Aerith who is probably being tortured, if not dead, while I was hunting for the perfect dance song. The climb to the surface was...well, it reminded me of some other games and not in a "good" way. I then infiltrated the Shinra building and had all kinds of weird Mandela Effects happened...

It's time to climb to the surface and I've got my trusty Bat Grappling Hook. The climb through the destroyed sector 7 was very reminiscent of both The Last of Us and Resistance 2. Obviously, there's a great section in The Last of Us where we travel through a collapsed building, and it's filled with story, character, and great environmental design. FF7R's level design...not so impressive. The floors of the collapsed building were practically empty. Just flat floors with no furniture or any evidence that humans once used this space. Maybe that's why Shinra was so willing to destroy it?

This isn't necessarily a horrible offense. It reminded me of Resistance 2's Chicago "boss fight". First, let me point out that Naughty Dog has one of the greatest gameplay debuts ever with Uncharted 2. I feel it it really set the bar for cinematic gameplay. There were two key ingredients: 1. Amazing visuals with well-decorated environments. 2. Scripted gameplay that didn't feel scripted. So many games, I feel, tried to live up to this demonstration and they always failed at one of those two successes of Uncharted 2; sometimes both.

Resistance 2 failed at the first. While I love Resistance 2 (like a whole lot) the rooms introduced to the player during the demo (and even in the final) were very much devoid of any set decoration. This is something that would have been permissible on PS1, MAYBE PS2, but on PS3 it was pure sin. So on PS4...I mean...just inexcusable. Did they plan a shorter climbing section and then were like, "We've got three weeks till release, feel like adding an hour to the game?"

This section also served as an awkward reminder that this is basically an action game. It's more Uncharted than Final Fantasy 7. I remember the climb from the original--it only takes about 5-10 minutes and there's no fights on the way. But it was a puzzle-driven maze that involved climbing and timed jumps. Awkward, but gave another dimension to the greatness of FF7. Not only that, but the mental state of the players and characters was significant. Maybe an hour in-world time had passed since the Turks blew up the pillar, killed hundreds if not thousands, and Aerith was captured. The wound is fresh, and this climb was about being focused on your goal--to literally rise from the ashes.

But Remake--you had too many chapters leading into the climb. The raw feeling of pain is somewhat numbed now. And the climbing experience is so prolonged with fighting, platforming, and a boss fight, that you're in a completely different mindset than in the original. For me, this isn't good. But maybe others feel different.

NOW--into Shrina Building. The increased Scale of this game is impressive. Makes me sad I don't get to explore more of it. Wandering around in the parking garage reminded me of playing Watch Dogs Legion.

The lobby section with Tifa was weird. It was scripted and unfun. What was the thinking behind this? Let's give the player one choice and be REALLY slow about it? And then as you climb up, the music changes like Tifa has finally learned to be a hero--WTF. I actually like Tifa more in this game than the original, but I feel like Remake doesn't respect Tifa at all, or acknowledge she's a major badass!

I took the stares. Fun nod to the original. Some pretty comical banter and it was interesting how Cloud slowed down the further he climbed. "So many stairs!"

Playing the original, I liked exploring the Shinra building. It was interesting to show different aspects of being a Shinra employee, and they had some interesting challenges and puzzles: like sneaking past guards, solving a literal puzzle, guessing a password, collecting awesome items. I wasn't feeling it this game. maybe I'm just ready for the game to be done and I'm tired of them stretching out insignificant moments.

The presentation on the Promised Land was a nice touch. It's interesting, they're giving out way more info than the original did at this point. But it also makes sense cause this has to be its own game. It can't rely on Final Fantasy VII Remake Part 4 to explain brief comments mentioned here. But the music and peppiness of the Promised Land presentation was perfect and totally reminded me of videos from Disney World and Discovery Channel. Annnd Sephiroth is walking the halls. Neat. Met Midgar’s Mayor. They gave him more “character” than the original...that’s nice. But then we had to climb through the duct. This kinda made me want gauge my eyes out. Sure this is based on the original, and sure I’ve spent way too much time in air ducts cause of Metal Gear Solid, but Cloud moved soooo slow, and there was no real maze or strategy. They didn’t need to make it this painful. I remember asking myself, “Why am I playing this??” We track Hojo to the lab. We did not meet Jenova before this next section. As we confront Hojo, no awkward breeding attempt between Aerith and Red XIII. Maybe they realized this was stupid and took it out. But it somehow made Red’s introduction even more awkward. I kill the poison boss and see Red lying there. Oh, Hi Mark. And then we go rescue Aerith. Those hooded folks pop up again...I swear they’re from the Timeline Commission from Umbrella Academy. Anyway, awkward Red XIII intro...and Jenova. Thinking about it...maybe Jenova should have been more central to the plot. Like, after the bombing mission, a Helicopter should have flown overhead carrying a container, and that’s when Cloud started getting visions of Sephiroth. And maybe this container gets moved and all these rumors about the appearance of monsters and stuff relate more to the mysterious container. All of it inspiring Sephiroth visions. And then it’s like, now that Cloud is here--it’s here. All coming to a head. Well--anyway. hanging out in Aerith’s old room. Let’s see how this goes.

[doomedandstoned]

BAILEY’S CHOICE

Youngblood Supercult guitarist Bailey Gonzales shares her 10 favorite albums of Autumn.

Photo by Johnny Hubbard at Doomed & Stoned Fest

First off, let me preface by saying that this list is just a fraction of what I would include on a good, solid Autumn playlist, but everything must end at some point. Most of these you’ve probably heard, some you may not be familiar with, and others perhaps long forgotten and thus need a good revisiting. So here goes:

1. Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young – Déjà vu

This has been in my catalog since I first started smoking weed in the fall of my freshman year of high school and learned to enjoy the hazy, beautiful strains of intricate harmonies that permeate CSNY’s iconic brand of folk-blues rock. Their albums were always on rotation in my house when I was growing up, but until I started to fully understand its cosmic, layered beauty, Déjà vu fell more or less into the “lame music my parents listen to” category for me. Now it’s a staple, especially as the weather starts to cool and the leaves start to turn, and I’m thrown into some kind of sepia-tinged yearning for the past. Funny how things change. This album holds some of the group’s most acclaimed work; I can’t point out a single track I’d skip over.

2. Graveyard – Graveyard

Graveyard by Graveyard

Speaking of high school—I grew up in a very small town in Southeast Kansas, and when MySpace made its debut (yes, MySpace), I found a page for this indie label called Tee Pee Records that absolutely dictated what I would listen to take the edge of my Black Sabbath cravings—this is where I was ultimately introduced to stoner rock and all of the branches of the retro heavy metal genre—and one of them that always stuck with me as I worshipped this label’s releases thereafter was Graveyard’s self-titled album. There are so many great tracks on this album, with “Thin Line” being an absolute favorite and even an echoing of one of my darkest autumn remembrances (won’t delve into it, but the subject matter will lead you where you need to go). Fantastic, timeless album.

3. Jonathan Snipes & William Hutson – Room 237

Room 237 (2012) is a funny little documentary. I love it, despite the fact that this film lays out conspiracies about Stanley Kubrick’s version of The Shining that range from absolutely Kubrickesque crazy-but-plausible to totally ludicrous, leaping-to-judgement scenarios and breakdowns related to the hidden puzzles within the original adaptation. But, we are talking about music here: this album plays like Stranger Things meets Goblin meets John Carpenter. There is nothing necessarily special about it, but in trying to find an OST that would fit neatly within this list, this fella kind of jumped out to me. Not everybody enjoys soundtracks, and while I could listen to creepy, ambient synth all day long, every day, Room 237 seems like it could entrance any listener, especially with standout tracks like “To Keep From Falling Off” to “Universal Weak Male” and even with the closing track, “Dies Irae” which plays off the original theme from The Shining.

4. Trouble – Trouble

It blows my mind that this album was released in 1990. Everything about it screams, “I WANT TO MAKE YOUR EARS BLEED: ‘70s METAL STLYE.” It’s like a lost and very angry Sir Lord Baltimore album was found in someone’s murky basement and sold in a musty, long forgotten record shop. The kind of place where you might hear whispers of dark legends. Somewhere that may be evocative, in legend, of the kind of place that Mayhem’s late singer, Dead, slit his wrists, throat, and blew his brains out and everyone commenced for this orgiastic blood feast of mourning to say, uh, “let’s take a photo of his dead body and slap it on a bootleg album cover and make necklaces out of his skull...” It’s not that harsh, but there’s definitely something spooky, dark, and forbidden about it. You may ask yourself, if you’re just hearing this album for the first time: “Why don’t they play some of these tracks on the radio?” Well, my child...do you really want to know?

5. The Steepwater Band – Revelation Sunday

This collection of hot tunes from The Steepwater Band is, apart from 2011’s Clava, one of our band’s road staples. We often don’t agree on much when that road cagey feeling hits or when disagreements happen, which incidentally is why things tend to work well with us, but The Steepwater Band, Mount Carmel, and Gary Clark Junior are all things we can come to terms with through the van’s trebly stock speakers. Maybe it’s the bluesiness. Very moody folk-blues rock tunes, with a touch of whiskey-fueled country, is what these guys exhibit in songs like “Slow Train Drag,” “Dance Me A Number,” and “Steel Sky.” A plus material, in my book, and good for the road on a cold night’s ramble.

6. Black Sabbath – Never Say Die!

Can people stop it with the “I’m tired of Black Sabbath” comments??? You know they are the reason we’re all here, and whether you like to admit it or not, you dig a good Sabbath tune either once in a while or every day. Doctor’s orders. Now I don’t think that a playlist is complete without a Black Sabbath album, but autumn seems the appropriate time for their fumbling, but strong conclusion — 1978’s Never Say Die!   And I really don’t care that I know I’m in the minority for loving this album. To me, while it’s their most strained Ozzy-era album (I won’t even touch 13, so don’t ask), it’s full of premonitions of things to come, including a full out jazz brawl in “Breakout” that reminds me of the mean streets in Dirty Harry, and songs that might make the bravest of our genre cry, like “Junior’s Eyes.” “Shock Wave” goes through the typical rough and tumble changes that Black Sabbath fans learn to embrace, but it comes in wave after wave after wave. Hell, even the title track is nearly full-out punk rock. If you’ve avoided this album, please—give it a spin. Even if it’s only to hear Bill Ward sing. It’s the album I fell into when I joined my first band in the fall of 2008 and what pushed me into the direction of branching out to things I’d long avoided. I literally shit my pants every time the first synth breakdown in “Johnny Blade” comes over the speakers, and I think you should, too.

7. Madonna – Madonna

Speaking of shit you probably don’t wanna read…who out of us has given Madonna’s 1983 debut a spin? Anyone? Bueller? Yeah, I didn’t think so. For you folks who can appreciate this one, I applaud you for admitting it. It’s not a sin to listen to Madonna (tell that one to the Vatican), but unless she’s been covertly transformed into Lana Del Rey or someone else on the darker and more modern side of the pop spectrum, you’d be hard pressed to find an admitted fan in our heavy underground group. And you know what? I don’t give a single fuck (yes, I learned that language from M herself). She’s a goddess, an icon, a killer songwriter—if you don’t believe me, tell that to the $400 million she has neatly tucked away—and dammit, she taught me to give a little less of a fuck in times where I don’t have too many to spare. This is another reason my parents are badass. Who in the world would buy their kid the “Like A Virgin” album only if their 11-year-old can ask for it by name without getting too embarrassed at the thought of saying “virgin” out loud to the Camelot Music clerk? Yeah, that’s right. Anyway, listen to this. Just do it...Madonna would.

8. The Midnight Ghost Train – Buffalo

Buffalo by The Midnight Ghost Train

I met Steve Moss at a show in Topeka in late 2009 at a dive bar where the drummer from my first band was singing in his new group. We did the obligatory thing and then, holy shit—this band starts playing and glasses start clinking and I swear to god I thought the whole damn place was going to cave in. They play a bunch of tunes and I’m so fully entranced it’s stupid. After the show, I went up to their singer/guitarist and said, “Um, that was really fucking awesome. I loved how you slipped “Hand of Doom into the middle of one of your songs.” Bam. We were instant buds. I couldn’t believe that they had come out of Topeka, Kansas. Later, while they were prepping to record 2012’s Buffalo, we had a very memorable fall jam session and some shows together, and EVERY. DAMNED. TIME. I felt like there was just something insanely special happening. Buffalo proved to be an instant classic, and even though The Midnight Ghost Train boys seem to always be on tour, I visit with my old pal Steve from time to time when he’s around, and nothing can erase those crazy, almost LSD-like imprinted memories of our house shows together. Hell, we reunited again just last month in another Topeka dive bar. I still have almost 3 hours’ worth of an interview I need to write that documents Steve’s early life up until the recording of Cold Was The Ground. The circle goes round and round. And I sure as hell can’t shake that sound.

9. Creedence Clearwater Revival – Green River

I don’t know what everyone else thinks about when they hear the track “Green River” from Creedence Clearwater Revival, but I think of Gary Ridgeway. I know that’s way far off, but I can’t help it. I also think about the album cover, and how many people still try to copy it, unintentionally. And I think about Stephen King. If you’ve read a few of his novels, you know from some of his passages, he’s a total CCR freak. I’ll give him a pass for mentioning Springsteen so much just because he’s a damn genius. But I bet the casual listener has never heard the song “Sinister Purpose” on the radio airwaves. It sounds like it belongs on a damn Leaf Hound album or something. Thank god for small favors. This is the epitome of southern blues rock. All you Lynyrd Skynyrd fans can fight me (although I won’t knock them), but CCR has earned their grimy, yet rightful spot as the Bayou’s most raw and creepy rock group. And way down in the fall, there’s always a bad moon rising.

10. Buffalo – Dead Forever...

Man, I was going to write up a few more albums, but this is the end of the line, folks. Australia’s Buffalo caps it off with their 1972 album, Dead Forever...   I can see this piece being released today, and that’s why I’m so glad everyone in this community puts out music that can rival little-known bands like Buffalo. I have a sweet spot for this group. Nobody will ever be able to answer why this killer band could never receive any airplay, and that question still lingers as absolute over processed shit continues to infiltrate the airwaves and real emotion can’t shine through. One of the promotional stickers for this record was, “Play this album LOUD.” Seen that before? Is history repeating itself in belittling our efforts to get out there and WARP THE FUCK out of people’s minds? I guess so. But we can fix that. Put the needle on some Buffalo, don your battle jacket, and work on getting some fuzz into some onlooker’s ears. Listen carefully, and don’t let the Buffalo situation happen to us all.

Hear Bailey's 'Autumn Vibes' Playlist on Spotify

Photo by Johnny Hubbard

The Great American Death Rattle by Youngblood Supercult

[cnox]

Rowen for Distant Mirror Zine #1.* ROWEN is a project between Cristahel and Cantrith Knox. They play a subgenre of the dark ambient / dungeon synth movement they call Mythical Electronic. They have years of experience and also operate Hollow Myths in New England. I thank them for their contribution to the first issue of Distant Mirror. First, Rowen is a collaborative effort between Canrith and Cristahel Knox - do you have specialties which you like to focus on when creating (someone runs the drums and arrangement, someone finds the melodies)?

Eve, Thanx for the interview. We both play synths, drum machines and write together.  As of now, when playing live, Criss handles the synths, vocal whisperings and I play the electronic drums. Along with our visuals, fog and lighting. We are introducing more vocals on some new songs. In the studio, we also add our field recordings and percussion as part of composing. We sit and mix each song side by side.    

Tell us about your musical histories before forming Rowen, because its somewhat obvious you both have experience which maybe led to the result of what Rowen is on "Ashen Spirit"!

Both of us have electronic music in our past. Cristahel with Minimal Synth and I with Darkbeat. One of the first ideas we had for Rowen was to start all over. As part of the experiment, finding ourselves and each other through making music anew. See and hear our music become it's own entity. We started developing the concept in '14, in '16 we began recording and had our first release in '18. We set out with a clear vision of what we want to do with Rowen.

Also tell us how you discovered music and what your first true love in music was... How did you come to find music that would lead you to this underworld of music culture?

Canrith: I discovered music on a radio at age 3. First, second and third grade, I would stay up nights crashing on Ritalin (due to being diagnosed as Hyperactive) watching the first ever music videos on a UHF channel in Colorado called FMTV which predated MTV by a year or two. Laurie Anderson - O Superman, Kraftwerk, Barnes & Barnes - Fish Heads videos all had a great impact on me as a kid. During that time, late 70's - early 80's, I was hooked on the music and image of both Kiss and Devo. One of the first albums I owned was AC/DC - Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap on cassette that I purchased at K-Mart. Summer '81 NYC, I saw the first video air on MTV. Later, watching another UHF channel out of Boston called V66. Heavy Metal led me to the Black Metal and the dark electronic music underground. Dark Ambient and Dark Dungeon Music have always been a particular interest of mine. Mail order distro tapes and free box extras in orders started my collection as far back as the mid 90's. In the late 90's, I got really into BM, then obsessed in '03 onward, as many UGBM labels and distros were rising on the web. We are also into Minimal, Martial, Electro, Techno, New Beat, Cosmic, Italo, 8-bit, Video Game, Soundtrack, Old School Dungeon Synth, Winter Synth and so on...

Cristahel: My first exposure to music as a child was through my grandfather, who began teaching me to play classical piano by ear at the age of four. We would sit for countless hours at his black upright Steinway as he would play Chopin, Bach, Rachmaninoff, Tchaikovsky etc. a few measures at a time for me to memorize and string together until I had the whole piece memorized. His love and enthusiasm for music, and the time he took to develop that in me, is something I will always be grateful for. Also my cousin Sue was a few years older than me and was like some kind of magical mixtape faerie, forever bestowing masterfully crafted gems upon me filled with things like Lush, Kate Bush, Cocteau Twins, and Mazzy Star that served to mold/blow my little mind.  

By my late teens it was the late 90's/early 2000's and I was immersed in a maelstrom of kraut/prog, electro, early new wave and electronic/industrial, shoe gaze. I was fortunate at the time to have a lot of friends with varied tastes and massive record collections they wanted to share with me, because back then there was like, only Napster to try and download music off this nebulous internet thing they had just invented.  

I spent a lot of time not doing my homework and dancing around my room on speed and/or klonopins listening to things like Tangerine Dream, Cluster, Miss Kittin & The Hacker, Dopplereffekt, Chris and Cosey, SPK, early Human League, Slowdive, Clan of Xymox... all of which in their own ways began to inform the atmosphere of the music I create now, warped and haunted meandering electronic melodies, analog synths, string machines and rhythm boxes, pounding 303s and 808s, tape echoes, analog delays, layered sounds lost in chasms of reverb...

I moved to NY and started making music, playing shows and djing a bit (mostly playing gabber techno synth new age sets at London squat parties to kids who wanted to hear nu rave), getting into minimal synth, and beginning my love affair with collecting and recording with analog equipment.

Of course now anything you want is available immediately online, compared to how the 80’s and 90’s crowd discovered music. I’ve asked the other artists a similar question - how do you feel about the loss of mystery these days and what will happen in the future to return to that?

I feel the ability for creating mystique is greater now thanx to the internet. Almost anyone can record some music, upload it to bandcamp, make artwork, physical releases, open an online shop, start a label, etc..   If one is good at what they do, be it a hidden persona or being a face, presenting a strong sound, image and aesthetic, either way, when done right, it works. In some ways even mystery can be a gimmick.

You both are lucky to have grown up in the best time period for music. But what about movies and books people should check out?  

I collect children's books, read a mess of olde and new Black Metal zines, Books about Black and Death Metal. Sexy comics about Vampiress and Faeries. Presently reading The Devil's Cradle, a hard back about The Story of Finnish Black Metal. It was a gift from Criss. Everyone should read Lords of Chaos '98 (then '03) and Lucifer Rising '99. I still need a copy of that leather bound Mortiis - Secrets Of My Kingdom book '01.

As for films, we watch obscure horror, foreign horror and documentaries.  

Here are some if you have not already read or watched them; 

Read: Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs ('78) James and the Giant Peach ('61) Masquerade ('79) The World of the Dark Crystal ('82) The Book of Alien ('79) Moebius - The Collected Fantasies of Jean Giraud Series ('87 - '94) Flowers in the Attic - Dollanganger Series ('79 -'86) Wir Kinder vom Bahnhof Zoo ('78) William Klein: Films, 1958-99 ('99) Wreckers of Civilisation: The Story of Coum Transmissions & Throbbing Gristle ('99)

Watch: Christiane F. ('81) Out of The Blue ('80) Deadbeat at Dawn ('88) Combat Shock ('86) Street Trash ('87) Brain Damage ('88) Zardoz ('74) Excalibur ('81) Emerald Forest ('85) Wicker Man ('73)

If atmosphere seems to be a heavy orientation for your creative drive, is your local landscape an important part of this? or is it personal experiences driving the music towards such a dark and melancholy place? something about Rowen is both light and dark.

We live on a island North East New England and seldom see others. Most of our time is spent outside, alone with the wind, the trees, on the marsh, in the mist and rain, sea side mornings, hawks at dusk and in the woods every evening. Pretty, evil and sad is what we do. We are hoping folks will also consider us in the Nature Synth category.  

New England must be a very interesting place to live... what is your favorite time of year there, and what is your favorite part of the landscape there?

We love the woods, day hikes, mountain tops, swimming holes, water falls, gorges and quarries. Small towns, old houses, fields, orchards, pumpkin patches, bonfires. Train tracks, trestles, towers, castles, monuments and graveyards. I was born in October so naturally I love the fall. Hallow's Eve and all into November.  Leaves turn, death comes and things change. There is nothing like a cold moonlit night in the snow. I appreciate being where we can really experience all four seasons.

Also You are so fortunate to live on an island.. That’s amazing. It’s cliche to talk about misanthropy with dark music but is this the reason for being secluded? What do you feel is the best thing for people could do with themselves in (what is in my eyes the end of the world?)

We made the decision to come here for a time of research, get to know each other, talk about our dreams, foster our ideas. Focus on only that of which we love and gives us purpose. Live away from it all.  If everyone did what was the most important to them, a different world this might be.  

Rowen is listed among other trees in occult literature as a tree of magical powers... Is this the reason for using the name? Is there personal beliefs at play in Rowen?

As a band we have our own ideologies, as musicians, our own theories, as artists, our own creative processes and as members, a belief system. These are shared between us and are expressed through the music, words and imagery of Rowen.

The Greeks, Norse, Celts and Druids all told mythology of the properties and significance of this mystical tree. The Greek Goddess of youth who lost her magical chalice to the demons. An eagle was sent to retrieve it. From battle, it's blood splatter on the earth grew Rowan trees. It's leaves as feathers, it's berries, the blood. The Norse myth speaks of the tree from which woman was made. And man, from a mountain ash. Saved Thor in the underworld. Runes are burned on Rowan wood. In the British Isles they tell of the folkloric tree which protects against witchcraft. The red berries of fall make up the 5 points of the Pentagram. Goes also as the Goddess or Faerie tree. The Druids used the bark and berries to dye the garments worn during lunar ceremonies black. Rowan twigs were used for divining, particularly for metals.

I had no idea the importance of Rowen to ancient people. Yes, it is true that Norse belief teaches humans were originally trees before given life and awareness by Odin, Vili and Ve. Is there any interest for you both to express your philosophy on things in the music or is this an affair of escapism and pure magic.

"The Past is not Dead, it lives on in a Woeful Drift." We are connected to our roots, our family trees, where we came from, our heritage and lands. We could only hope that our music would offer an escape. Magic is the only way.

If you could live in any time period, what time period would you live in and what would you be doing?

Canrith: I feel lucky to have been a child of the 70's and we grew up in the 80's, 90's & 00's. We were there, I wouldn't change it. I would love to live in some medieval castle in the mountains, riding a black Clydesdale, wielding a mace, reeking havoc across the land.  

Cristahel: Same as Canrith but on a white Clydesdale with a halberd.

What's the most important part of the creative process for Rowen - is there a certain revelry for using old mysterious pieces of synthesizers or do you enjoy the vast possibilities of computers? There's always the game of analog vs computer in the electronic scenes, what is your thoughts on this?

For us, again, the most important part of the process is the experiment. We use all analog synthesizers, drum machines and record live. Roland, Korg, Yamaha. Same goes for our stage show. We have used and are not opposed to using digital synths on recordings and live. Casio & Yamaha synths, Simmons drums. For instance, "In Another Dream, You Were Mine" from "Ashen Spirit" was made almost entirely on a Casiotone. We record and mix on a desk top home computer.  

What are you both really enjoying listening to at the moment?

Listening to cult 80's video Game music on YouTube while answering these questions.

do you have any thoughts on where this rising momentum will lead as far as the dungeon synth genre is headed, and do you feel proud of your place in that? am i wrong in assuming you both also run Hollow Myths?  

We are proud of our place in DS. Though we set out to make our own mythical electronic music. And think the genre is progressing as it should. We have been very active in the scene going on six years now this November. As supporters, label, distro and band. We are most appreciative of the support we have received. And from the Black Metal Underground. Our first demo was released on pro-tape by Personnel Records, a sub-label of Seedstock Records ran by Marco Del Rio of Raspberry Bulbs aka He Who Crushes Teeth of Bone Awl. We are finishing our second release that will be out on CD & Cassette this time.  

Hollow Myths, the label and distro, is the work of us two. Releases, artwork, layouts, Photography, bios, press, promo, videos, zine, jewelry, leather work, patches, we also offer clothes that we call Cryptic Raiment for After Dark. Official Dungeon Synth, Dark Ambient, Black Metal, Hollow Myths* Shirts, Long Sleeves, Hoods, Record Bags, Altar Cloths...

Correct me if I’m wrong, but Hollow Myths has had to dig deep into the underground and re-release old gems, which is like reissuing from the archives.. many people don’t really appreciate that, can you tell us about what that’s been like and if anything else like that will ever happen?  

Hollow Myths* have re-released limited special versions of cult classics in a row of how I first discovered them back when. Being also from Dallas, TX, Equitant - The Great Lands Of Minas Ithil (City Of Isildur) '94 was one the first tapes I owned of the genre (and our first release from H/M* on cassette) after I found a copy of the Mournlord - Reconquering Our Kingdom Demo from '95 (SE) for a $1 in a bargain bin. These strange and very limited cassette releases helped crystallize what Dark Dungeon Music was to me. Like hearing the Caduceus - Middle Ages Demo '95 (LT) for the first time or later with the Corvus Neblus - Chapter I & II - Strahd's Possession tapes from '99 / '01 (LV). Our second re-released offering was Equimanthorn - Entrance To The Ancient Flame on cassette, another Texas born Ritual Black Ambient project with both Equitant and Proscriptor of the Mythological Occult Metal band Absu as members. After which, we made a chain of very special limited re-releases from; Gothmog, Depressive Silence, Solanum, Lunar Womb, Cain, two from Aperion, Arthur as well as Xerión with more to come. At the same time, we have introduced many new Dungeon Synth artists, some with their follow ups; Isåedor, Wyver and Wizzard to name but a few. We began in '16 and have 43 releases to date. Some mentioned above will see second pressings in the near future.

What has been your favorite release to work on this past year and what sort of artists does Hollow Myths look for?

We focus on outsider music and art and put our blood, sweat and tears into every release. Since we are primarily a physical label and distro (Tapes, CD's, Vinyl, Merch, etc.), it has been interesting to curate and mix the last three Shadowlore Compilations.

Each run over 2 hours long and feature new and exclusive songs by legions of Dungeon Synth artists from around the world. Being Digital, we offer it for Free or name your price for those who want to add it to their collections. Corresponding J-card "tape trade" layout print outs are included in the download, so one can make their own 2x cassette version. To be shared with friends, to inspire tape trading, for more reach and exposure for the artists' projects. Shadowlore Four will be released this Summer Solstice.  

Other releases from last year we are very proud of: Apeiron - Stardust / A Separate Reality. Cosmic / Dark Ambient / Black Metal from Austria. '95 & '97 and featuring a never before heard hidden track from '96 titled "Dimensional Chanting" exclusive only to this release. Xerión - O Espírito Da Fraga / O Trono de Breogán. Black Metal / Dark Ambient from Spain. The first two demos from '01 & '02 with 3 new songs recorded exclusively for this release including a Windir cover.  Galician Mythology and Folklore. Wyver -  Tragedies of Lost Village (Demo II). Dungeon Synth / Fantasy Music follow up. (PDX) Hypogeum - S/T. Introducing outsider, Raw Black Metal from the woods of Oregon. Wizzard - The Cauldron Descent. Cryptic Dungeon Synth follow up from Sweden. Morihaus - The Empty Marches. Eccentric Dark Ambient / Dungeon Synth debut from Kentucky.  

Tell us about Rowen’s plans to start touring.

We just played our first show at the Northeast Dungeon Siege MMXIX festival. Now we are working on piecing together a tour that will begin this summer in the north east coast with the plan to then head down, across the south to California, up the west coast, pacific northwest and back across the north and through the mid-west to return late fall. We recently put the word out that we are up to perform anywhere, anytime and received an overwhelming response. If we can get on tour, stay on tour, get back to Europa without haste, we would be more than pleased.

The first two shows will be outdoor camping events. Mythical Electronic, Dungeon Synth, Black Metal, Acoustic Black Metal, Death Metal, Doom, Crust, Folk, Country, . . . Both are on private land, in the forest and BYOB. Bring a tent, water, food and supplies. Crossbows and throwing knives.

Rowen   Seasons of the Savage at The Sonorous Glade June 22nd Topsham, VT w/ Haxen, Sombre Arcane, Fed Ash, Gorcrow, Melkor, Black Axe, Void Bringer, Acid Roach and Wild Leek River  

Rowen   Woods of Gallows II August 17th  West Chazy, NY w/ T.O.M.B., Worthless, Sombre Arcane, Ordeals, Malacath, Lightcrusher, Hræsvelgr, Graveren and Callous