#maybe its cause ive been playing red dead recently

[vnknowcrow]

You don't actually notice how proper danse talks until you have the dialogue written out in front of you

[nevertheless-moving]

Suicidal Misunderstanding VII

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27

Part I - - - Part II - - - Part III - - - Part IV - - - Part V - - - Part VI

CONTENT WARNING: Please be advised this chapter may contain triggering material. More detail available in tags. 

It wasn’t until Anakin was staring at the hot sauce bottles and solitary mysterious green takeout container that he remembered they were at war, and therefore no longer in the habit of restocking the apartment’s cold stasis.

“Obi-Wan, there’s nothing to eat!” 

"I know!” came the call back. “I’m trying to meditate!”

Anakin closed the stasis door and walked back out to the common room. Obi-Wan sat crosslegged on the window sill.

“Do or do not, there is no try,” the knight quipped.

Obi-Wan opened his eyes to look fondly at the man standing before him. Maybe tomorrow, when he woke alone in a dusty desert hovel, he would regret letting himself play pretend for so long. Maybe this whole day would fade from his memory like a dream.

But right now, he felt... peaceful. He wouldn’t claim to be satisfied by the explanations he imagined for Anakin, but it would have been far more disturbing if he somehow came up with an actually sympathetic justification for genocide. He got to say and hear a number of goodbyes. He even got to cry over Anakin with the comfort of his presence. 

Now he had to let go, to be there for Luke. (And he could always get more spice...)

“I guess if you need to meditate, I can go pick us up food from the Temple Tapcaf.” Anakin offered. 

“Thank you, Anakin. Today...helped. More than I can explain.” Obi-Wan said softly.

“I- I don’t really deserve that. Considering it was all my fault.” Anakin bowed his head, helpless for words, but uncomfortable with being praised.

“Not every terrible thing that has happened is your fault. You made a series of terrible choices, yes. But there were, there are, other dark forces at work and not a single Jedi in the order was able to stop them. At least for a short time today I was able to set that aside, so for what it’s worth, thank you.”

“Kriff.” Anakin said shocked. “Of course there’s more. Ok. That’s all right, we-” he was cut off by a growl from Obi-Wan’s stomach. 

A snort of laughter escaped before Anakin smacked a hand over his mouth. “Alright, I’m going to the Tapcaf, you just...meditate until I get back.”

Obi-Wan swallowed and nodded, “I love you so much.” 

“Force Obi-Wan, you’re going to make me start crying again.” He pulled him into a bear hug. “Don’t do anything stupid while I’m not gone, ok? Just...meditate. And drink some water.”

"Hmm, I don’t know. Some of my best choices recently have been stupid,” Obi-Wan laughed. The words were light, but Anakin felt a prickle of unease, a hint of danger. There was no clear cause, and Obi-Wan seemed relaxed but...

Anakin gripped his Master’s shoulders, staring him dead in the eye. “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

Obi-Wan sighed, “I promise.” He pulled Anakin down to press a kiss to his forehead. “Goodbye, Anakin.”

"I’ll be back in 20 minutes.” He paused, then mumbled, “i love you too” before speeding out the door.

Obi-Wan settled back into meditation, reaching inwards. Everything but his body and the light within faded. He magnified his hunger, his thirst, visualizing the pack of dried jerky in his hut, the precious jars of water in the basement. He could almost feel the heat that never quite abandoned Tatooine, even during the short nights. He opened his eyes

and saw the temple apartment.

He shut them again quickly. He was sure he could snap himself out of this. He sank deeper inward, careful to leave his shields perfectly intact. With the galaxy as dim as it was, a real show of force had the potential to grab attention across star systems. Force purging toxins, fortunately, was more a matter of internal concentration than outward power. It was one of the first skills Obi-Wan had truly mastered as a Jedi, thanks to numerous kidnappings at the start of his apprenticeship and hard drinking towards the end. 

It was uncomfortable to be that keenly aware of one’s kidneys, but Obi-Wan managed. It was less intense than a healing trance, anyway. His heart rate increased as various metabolic processes sped up- and almost immediately slowed down. Huh. The drug must of almost run its natural course, and now he 

still in the temple.

Kark. Shit. 

‘Breathe’ he thought. Stress was only going to increase his chances of a stroke. Alright, so meditation wasn’t working. Maybe he could try for longer, but part of him was nervous that if ‘Anakin’ returned he’d lose the willpower, and so far the passage of time had been extremely linear. He was too invested in the fantasy at this point for anything easy.

Remember your training. Your eyes can deceive you, do not trust them. 

Padawans were taught three main methodologies to move beyond mindtricks, hallucinations, visions, and the like. Looking In, Reaching Out, and Breaking Out. 

Looking in wasn’t working. That left the other two options. In the past, when his senses were lying to him he could always trust in the force, but now...it was just too much risk. Reaching out like that, with his whole self, meant the chance of finding someone.

That left breaking out. Obi-Wan jumped up, staring intensely at the details in the molding, the stains on the carpet, at everything. At no point today had he spotted objects fading to grey in the corner his vision, or ripple as memories from different time frames overlapped, but surely there must be some weak point.

Nothing. 

Shit, he really had stayed too long. Alright then, time for more uncivilized measures.

He walked to the kitchen and pulled their butcher’s vibroblade from its block, holding it to his neck, then hesitated.

This had to be done, but it didn’t make it any less unsettling. It was his own fault for lingering in the delusion so long; all the more palatable paths to escape had closed off, and after all he had been through he refused to die from a drug overdose. Gods, it might take years for someone to find the body.

He steeled himself, bringing the blade back up decisively only to drop it with a clatter. Pressing a hand to his throat, he was unnerved but not entirely surprised to find a stinging line of pain. His hand came away wet with blood. He instinctively pressed both hands to the cut, pulse rapid and heavy and slippery beneath his palms.

It’s just a hallucination. It’s just an extremely vivid hallucination.

A thought occurred to Obi-Wan then, and he felt something in the pit of his stomach drop in horror.

What if...what if the blade was real. What if he was actually moving around his home right now, hazily sleepwalking in a pantomime of the peaceful stroll and tender embraces he was imagining. It would explain the immediate relief from the water this morning...hadn’t he found his way to food and water even dazed from sleep-debt and blood-loss during the war?

He had a vibroblade in the desert too...

His pulse pounded harder beneath his hands. The cut wasn’t even that deep, but for the first time Obi-Wan felt the true existential horror of his current trap well up. If he didn’t know where the walls were...how could he escape.

He took a deep breath, acknowledging and letting go of his panic.

He had the force. He would just have to be delicate in his application. He picked up the bloodied tool from the floor but decided to simply to clip it to his belt for now. A force-null object would be harder to distinguish at first touch.

Obi-Wan walked to his temple bedroom and opened the barest crack in his shields, just enough to reach out, get a sense of existing currents in the force. He stirred at one until a small vortex of light formed. To anyone looking, it would appear a naturally occurring, low-powered whirlpool, common enough on Tattoine. Any gentle moves he made in the minutes before it fell apart would hopefully be obscured by its wake.

He hesitantly laid a hand on the lightsaber on his bedside table, lowering his shields a little further. His heart sunk when he realized that his memory had even recreated the perception of force-imbued temple walls in the periphery. The Kyber in his saber reverberated with a familiar song. He jerked his hand away. That felt too much like his real lightsaber. He couldn’t risk it. 

Before Obi-Wan truly began to panic again, he realized something missing. Anakin’s- Darth Vader’s saber. Since picking it up on Mustafar, the crystal in it had screamed at him, halfway to corruption. When he touched the blade he could almost feel... feel what horrors it had been bent to commit.

Most of the time he left it buried under a rock pile in his basement, too afraid to work on healing it.

He couldn’t hear it now- but he could feel the memory of what it used to be.

It sat innocently on his Anakin’s bedside table. There was a tinge of darkness to it of course- this saber had only ever known war. But when he rested a hand on the blade it was clear this belonged to the memory he had walked with today, not the tyranny of reality.

Grasping it firmly, he marched back to the windowsill and settled, intent on his choice. Sunsets here couldn’t compare to tattooine- they were just too different. The binary play transformed the infinite horizon. It was something on Tatooine he unabashedly marveled at.

Courasant, on the other hand, transformed the sun into a reflection of itself. Untold millions of transparisteel buildings refracted the star painfully at some points while casting shadows on the rest. The filter of light through constant smog resulted in strange shades of neon green and blood red. It was beautiful, but uncomfortable to look at too long.

He closed his eyes and pressed the saber to his chest.

---

Anakin was impatiently waiting in the hot service line when the urge to return to his apartment insistently welled up again. He pushed it back of course- Obi-Wan needed food and Anakin couldn’t keep putting his own selfish impulses in front of his Master’s wellbeing.

He held out for a few seconds, but the itch was getting stronger, sharper. He looked down at the tray- it already had most of Obi-Wan’s cold favorites, but he really wanted to get him his favorite soup if the line would just move a little faster. He jolted when, for the first time that day, Obi-Wan’s shielding thinned the slightest amount. Not enough to get anything clear, but the fact that there was movement at all...

He left the line; they could always come back together if Obi-Wan wanted. Hells, maybe they’d do a late night visit to Dex’s for some real comfort food. Anakin still couldn’t get a sense of what Obi-Wan was up to through their muffled bond. He felt a buzz in his ears, not unlike the moment before an enemy blow.

He picked up speed, tea sloshing in its thermoflask. An elder looked at him annoyed as darted around him.

He started speed walking in earnest as the feeling got more intense. A sandwich fell to the wayside.

Speed walking quickly switched to jogging, then running; there was a shout of complaint as he ditched the whole tray carelessly behind.

He took the last few hallways at a full-out force-assisted sprint, the Force itself screaming at him to move. A small part of his mind thought we’re safe inside the temple Obi-Wan promised not to do anything stupid i’m going to get such shit for freaking out over nothing. 

He sensed nothing from Obi-Wan over the bond; not a hint of fear or anger or surprise. He blurred around the last corner, feeling like he might throw up with his increasing, unexplained panic.

Not caringabout anything butgettingto Obi-Wan beforeitstoolate he smashed down the door at the same moment Obi-Wan, sitting peacefully by the window, turned on the lightsaber pointing directly at his heart.

Time seemed to slow. Splinters of the door frame hung in the air as Anakin desperately pulled the lightsaber away from Obi-Wan in the half-second between activation and ignition.

He wasn’t quite fast enough.

Blue plasma pierced Obi-Wan’s chest as time caught up. Pieces of the wall shattered like shrapnel as he turned, shocked to see Anakin. The saber flew away in a straight arrow. 

Anakin threw himself to Obi Wan’s side, wildly trying to draw heat away from the searing hole before it could vaporize the surrounding flesh. He couldn’t tell what the saber had pierced, or how far it had gone in considering its last second movement.

One hand trained on a hundred battle fields robotically reached for his comm-unit to call for emergency medical assistance. His mind however, had largely been left behind a few minutes ago, when he was trying to pick what Obi-Wan would want to eat for dinner.

What came out his mouth was more incoherent shrieking than anything else, but he had at least called the correct line for temple aid.

He threw down the comm, focus intent on controlling the smoldering burn. The air around them seemed to boil and Obi-Wan started struggling to get away. Anakin bodily held him down, finally finding words,

“What the FUCK, OBI-WAN! YOU LITERALLY JUST PROMISED NOT TO DO ANYTHING STUPID! YOU PROMISED!”

“that’s why- hkk I  have  to” Obi-Wan rasped.

“Karking Fuck.YOU- STOP MOVING!”

Anakin felt a twinge of danger come from the side but was too focused to do anything but shift his body as shield. A sharp pain pierced his gut but he ignored it. 

The air crackled with heat and power as the wound beneath him cooled. A faint trickle of dark blood oozed out, probably burns breaking from recent movement, considering the instant cauterization. He couldn’t see any light coming through, which meant he had moved the saber at least a quarter klick before it activated, Anakin thought semi hysterically.

Finally, someone showed up to investigate the disturbance. In truth, probably less than a minute had passed since Anakin entered the room, but he really didn’t care.

“HELP ME!” Anakin shouted.

“What happened?” Mace Windu asked grimly, falling to the ground next to them. Not waiting for an answer, he set his lit saber aside and placed his hand to Obi-Wan’s forehead, stilling the violent thrashing.

Anakin opened his mouth but he just didn’t have the words. He didn’t know. 

“General Skywalker, report.” Mace Windu commanded sharply. 

“I left him alone to get dinner for us. I ran back and when I broke open the door he was holding the lightsaber to his chest. I tried...to pull it away. It pierced him, and I’ve been trying to manage the initial burn risk. I called for medi but I don’t know their eta.”

“They’re behind me. How did you get stabbed?” the Master demanded.

“How did I what?” Anakin looked down to see a vibroblade sticking out from his left side. Right, the pain from before. Obi-Wan suddenly mustered up the energy to wake up despite his state and Windu’s compulsion. He looked around wildly before yanking the knife from Anakin’s side.

Anakin gasped, but managed to still his brother’s hand using the force before he could finish bringing it up to his neck, which Anakin just noticed was bloody.

“STOP TRYING TO DIE!” Anakin screeched.

“...I’m...not....I’m....trying.....to...” 

But before Obi-Wan could finish the sentence, the healers finally arrived, pushing Windu aside to grab hold of Anakin and Obi-Wan. He could feel a buzz of energy go through him, stopping at the growing damp patch at his side. He tried to push the man away but the heat in the room was starting to make him dizzy

“I’m fine! Focus on Obi-Wan.”

Mace placed a hand on his shoulder, and in the gentlest voice he had ever heard from the man, said, “You’ve been stabbed Anakin. Let the healers help both of you- you’ve done well looking out for him.”

Obi-Wan, still occasional thrashing was being loaded onto a hoverstrech for transport. A second stretcher waited next to it. 

“Master Windu! He’s fighting us,” Master Che called sharply. “Can you tell us what happened?”

“Master Kenobi tried to kill himself,” Windu replied flatly. “His wounds are self inflicted and he’s violently fighting assistance” 

There was a beat as that information was processed. Knight Bant, who must have arrived at some point, said in slightly less flat voice, “He displayed erratic behavior earlier today, and I ruled out drug interactions.”

“Thank you, Knight Bant.” Master Che plunged a syringe of some kind into Obi-Wans thigh. He finally stopped attempting to fight, falling down onto the board. “Red team, with me. Orange, you have Skywalker,” She instructed sharply. 

Anakin numbly watched most of the healers leave with Obi-Wan through a hole in the wall. He slowly started to stand and somehow ended up guided into a seat on the hoverboard. Looking down, he was surprised to see his tunic cut away in favor of a large bacta patch. 

“Hey,” he protested. “Who stabbed me?”

“We can discuss that after you have surgery,” A Human healer replied. Master Covamos, he thought.

“This is my fault” Anakin said, suddenly urgent. “I shouldn’t have left him. He told me goodbye, he was saying goodbye all day, I should have...”

“You saved his life,” Windu interrupted. “You got to him just in time, don’t waste your energy on should-haves. Now sleep.”

Anakin wanted to argue more, but instead found himself laying down, vision blurring. His face felt damp, had he been stabbed more than once? Windu said a few more words he couldn’t quite make out. There was a brief stinging sensation, then everything faded away. 

----

Part VIII

[macklives]

session 92 end (bye 413...)

this session was so long but so fucking hectic what the fuck

im going to try and slim it down to its bare essentials rather than go on a full rant because im pretty sure i want to make a post later on about vriska’s characterisation (not anything about me liking her/disliking her, just an analyse on her life really, so it wont be too bias because thats not the point of an analysis. i also want to do one on aradia, been meaning to for a while... hmm... damn i havent done much analogies lately, and i THINK the last long post on a character i made was about davesprite??? so its been a fucking while. that being said, ill leave a lot of details out for this end of session notes so i dont just repeat myself later on. rather will keep to plot points here and then make character points in another)

alright

first we had a page or two where aradia confided in nepeta about her being dead which means nepeta is the only one to know this revelation. im pretty sure aradia confided because there was no other way around it, since nepeta was her server player, so it was inevitable. either way, aradia still put her trust in nep, which means, if you think about it, nobody else knows and nobody else ever will. and considering aradia asked nep to keep it a secret, it probably wont get explored by others until MAYBE later on, whenever its plot relevant, so everyone will be in the dark about it for a while which ill have to remember for future dialogue and scenes with aradia in them

then we met vriska

which, yes, is a meme. i may not have been on a lot of fandom platforms, but you cant escape some of the stuff that goes around the internet. even if you dont know undertale, im pretty sure you know of sans. or komaeda if you have/havent seen danganronpa. its just.. the memes, ya know? ive heard from many sources of the “vriska did nothing wrong” quote (even through mbmbam which??? WHAT) but since i didnt even know what it meant, i never explored it so then i never knew it was a homestuck thing. imagine my surprise...... i think even at the time, i wouldnt have known what homestuck was either honestly so it wouldnt even matter. i only recently learned about the fandom.... uhh, maybe half a year ago??? yeah, august, so my knowledge was slim but vriska is a thing ive heard before, which still shocks me

goddammit

anyways back to her

so her intro was something, we pretty much found out she likes DnD (a FANATIC in fact) and feeds her lusus the flesh of living trolls. which is fucked up. but i wont get too much into detail about that until i make a post about her life on alternia and the consequences of such. or maybe just alternia in general...?? or *both* heheheh but i feel i need more information before i go off on a tangent about that

then we met??? white text dude?? who is a major asshole but an asshole with insults that hURted, to think i felt bad for VRISKA when that happened. woah.

i said before, but... karkat, he cant really hit deep because his insults are just HIM and his way to express himself. like some people find it natural to just go “FUCK YOU” to show emphasis on a point, and thats just karkats way. he may do it so aggressively that it takes you a second to realize what he said, but usually i dont take anything to heart whenever he spurts out some insults. ive progressed to the point where whatever he says, is just “karkat” and not him trying to be actively mean. rather, its now funny whenever he does say anything SOMEWHAT creative, dude has an imagination that goes on for miles

but vriska?? she IS trying to be a bully, you can tell. but i feel theres something much more to that. like shes trying to prove herself and her “blueblooded” demeanours or whatever the hierarchy is. she doesnt want to show emotions so she makes herself a barrier by being mean is what i can gather from her conversation with kanaya. im pretty sure youre not supposed to understand her until its pointed out and rather see her as an “antagonist” at first, but yeah, her insults are more pitiful than anything and i also cant take her too seriously. i may not like her as a person but her character is interesting because you cant always have the goodie two shoes as the protags. it doesnt diversify the characterisation so i like vriska as someone who makes the plot work and it becomes more interesting since you have someone that makes it harder for the main crew to progress. a happy-go-lucky adventure with no trouble and no turnabouts would be boring in a way. so having a character like vriska, or like this new white text guy, it makes you stop for a second and realize oh shit okay, here’s where shit CAN go wrong and WHY. and i do especially like it when these bastards of characters somehow have more depth than being the “bastard characters”. kinda humanizes them in a way. doesnt mean you have to LIKE them continuously, but theyre humans (trolls whatever) in the end and every person has their own story whether its for better or for worse

for example, i like her being placed into the story, along with white text, by how its all leading to this “accident” and is slowly showing us hints on what happened, but in the end, it wont be until later that we know the full story. even if it was in the past, it apparently is very vital to the plot and shapes how the characters act in the future, so important aspects like that are to look out for. and usually they only occur when theres been some trouble within friend dynamics. so without these bastard of characters, plot wouldnt grow AS strong and i often keep that in mind when i explore a story.

anyways, I HAD A POINT TO THIS: so vriska and karkat are characters who are yes, mean, but it seems to be their personality, and the way they either show emotions and convey feelings (karkat) or make a barrier so they DONT show emotions to produce vulnerability (vriska), white text guy seems to mostly be out to be an asshole. he told vriska she was useless to sum it up but im not too sure if this is one of those “first dialogue” to mould out a bias opinion before we even get to the character themselves, but judging by how vriska and karkat played out, he surely means something bad and i dont know how to explain it. but i cannot base anything off from one piece of dialogue. i dont even know what else to call him other than white text guy so...... ill just leave that out for now, until we finally get his introduction

though, i do wish to mention, and will expand on, im not wrong when i say karkat and vriska are similar but in different context. sorry if youre favourite is karkat and you dont like vriska, or vice versa, but uhhhh their introductions are so similar its uncanny and the way they’re portrayed is the same except one is more on crack about the meddling, while the other is angry about the meddling. similar to how it was with karkat, we were introduced to vriska talking with someone we knew (tavros) whom she obviously didnt like, so obviously, from her point of view, she wanted to be menacing. like how karkat was menacing to jade because she wouldnt listen to his point... he got angry, so he lashed out. but us, the readers, didnt know that. we thought “oh god its this asshole” until we made it further in the story and started to warm up to karkat. it may not be the same with vriska, she may be a bully regardless, but you cannot tell me we moulded a bias towards her character as we did when we first read karkat. theyre both truly mean to other people, maybe both for different reasons, but i do want to point out the similarities and not leave that out. im pretty sure andrew basically gave us a conversation that formed our opinion of a character right off the bat rather than go into depth of WHY they did it, and how they are naturally without the conditions of the game. which, you can also see with vriska when she conversed with kanaya. andrew started off with a character who only appears to speak once, and makes you judge them from first appearance alone, without any explanation as to why they said what they said and how they are with other characters, let says. so you assume they were simply a rude character. now look how karkat turned out. so im guessing in homestuck, the first impression should never be the opinion you stick with until MAYBE 5 more conversations with that character (each one different)

OKAY done with the vriska introduction, now to slutquius

yes, hes kinda weird, i have stated that many times. i have no idea what to say about him other than he likes porn, he likes centaur dick which just so happens to be his lusus as well and if that isnt a red flag idk what is

he also likes his lusus milk, right from the udders of his guardian

fun times, fun times

my opinion of equius kinda.. differs. which i should really put in place the “dont judge by first impression” rule, because at first i thought he was rude with, then i thought he was hhh okay, because i understood why he was being so protective over nepeta and her team placement, since the people she was going to play with WERE dangerous. but if you think about it, both sides will probably put you in danger. it just depends on which ones you confide in more to protect your back rather than those which would cause trouble on purpose, in my HONEST opinion. so equius was a little overdramatic on that part, but i got what he meant. he was on the blue team and he didnt want to leave nepeta alone without him on the red. but then this session happened. and he went back to being weird again because of the whole porn thing, especially being so open about it like dude chill youre 13. but the thing is, then i felt bad for him because hes basically touch starved. to say that he could break anything he touches, i doubt people would go up to him for hugs. in fear they would be crushed to death by a simple hug. so im guessing hes rather lonely and doesnt really know how to interact because of this. so i felt sad that he had to live a life where he needs to be careful of everything he touches so it doesnt break randomly. see? poor dude. but then things got weird. and im pretty sure hes a masochist. so my opinion on equius is a fucking cosine graph

which brings us to the final point:

gamzee and equius’ conversation

i dont even know.....like.........gamzee was unaware that equius was using him for his own power play roleplay, right? gamzee knew it was a roleplay but it had had some.. idk.... obvious sexual implications? and i bet gamzee didnt really know that? he thought they were only venting out through a simple roleplay and trying to get closer because he originally thought equius hated him, considering equius flat out said “i hate you” and gamzee went “you tell me everyday and im okay with that” so.. gamzee probably wanted only to get closer to equius so he helped out his little problem which.. thats so sweet but i feel bad he was coerced into something he didnt get, especially since he was innocent enough to go along without knowing equius’ true gain

anyways, equius was getting off with the hierarchy thing. considering he’s “lower” than gamzee, and gamzee is surprisingly ...high on the spectrum??? so equius wanted gamzee to boss him around, because it felt only natural to him since he’s the “inferior one” and gamzee is The Big Man. like i get that, but it was written in a way that was so uncomfortable, that i wish i didnt. equius is just a weird character... hes not BAD per say, but hes... hes something alright

but im really liking gamzee. the two things which struck me in that one conversation, was the “i dont get why we should dictate people by the colour of their blood, i just see people as people” piece of dialogue and “i cant go around pleasing just everything so its alright if you hate me”

thats... so good, idk. i really liked that. i also really liked when kanaya said “youre dangerous but dangerous people are needed and are important because it shapes you” like <33 my fucking heart

god homestuck may be a tad on the weird side with some of its characters but it surely knows how to create great lines of dialogue

and that concludes the long 4 hour session i did, hope you all enjoyed it

with that, i rest

[rockformed]

All the emojis. All. of. them.

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

umm not to be That Depressing Bitch but back in 2016 i was in a really bad place and considered running away from home and maybe something else bad but course i didnt in the end and im glad i never did

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

my friends who live in different states or countries :’(

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

CELEBI is my all time favorite cause the first piece of pokemon media i ever saw was the movie with them in it!!

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

NO MORE CAPITALISM

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

it’s a long one but the TLDR of it is that i was an orphan being raised by a strange man living on the outskirts of a post-apocalyptic town and the dream felt like it lasted for days

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

god he has such a fucking good sense of humor and he makes me laugh harder than anyone ever has

😘 talk about your crush or partner

they’re really funny and i just love being around them all the time, no matter what we’re doing. it just feels natural 

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

only if it was like, being purposely really rude, otherwise no

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

uhhh physically or otherwise?? physically i really like my hands, my legs and my hair :>

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

we talkin phobia’s or innermost fears?? im really scared of the dark but also im really scared that no one will ever love me the way i love them lmao annnd overcoming it?? im really not sure

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

my best friend, my cat and drawing

💙 what annoys you about some people?

i hate hate hate it when people brag, even the tiniest amount. i dont really know why

😤 do you get angry easily?

ehhhh depends what im getting angry at. with politics i get really into it but otherwise, nah

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

.....................uhh....... not to be corny but being in love

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

i would change the way we treat the earth, the way we treat each other, and also i’d want it to be so that everyone has a chance at doing what they really want to do with their lives (not to sound like a miss america contestant or anything)

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

you didnt send me 4 names anon :p

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

ugh, tied between tokyo and stockholm sweden. tokyo because i absolutely love everything about it, the transportation the shops the food the homes, and stockholm for basically the same reasons.

☕️ talk about your ideal day

playing video games with my friends or being out at my art school all day, drawing :3c

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

intro. i love my friends and im getting more comfortable around people, but i just prefer to be home.

💧 when was the last time you cried?

the beginning of april

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

grandson - 6:00, any beach boys song, robert palmer - simply irresistible, john waite - missing you, and the entirety of gorillaz new album

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

flight!! ive always had the fantasy of flying up into really tall trees and just people watching all day

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont put so much stock into one skill, diversify yourself. and do your homework

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

ive noticed lately that i get jealous really easily when someone i dont know is hanging out with friends of mine. its a me issue though, i know that

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

ugh. this is a hard one....... i think .......kindness

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

im ashamed of the fact that i dont know how to flirt at ALL because i feel like i’d be further along with Some Stuff if i did 

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

just english ;; i know a tiny bit of spanish and i can understand it on paper, but thats it. id love to learn japanese or hebrew someday

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

oooooohhhh man, probably mccree from overwatch. prime boyfriend material and just my type. i love roadhog but he is like......... a criminal

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

everyone is happy and never has to worry about any financial issues or prejudice, just free to explore their passions until the day that they die.

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

uhh its pretty late in the day but i always make it a point to compliment people’s outfits in public, it always seems to make people happy :p

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

easy. id transform into a shapeshifter B)

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

i really hate people who take advantage of artists on this website and vice versa. 

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

i feel like im running out of time to be a kid and im not gonna have time to have fun anymore. im also scared about my future in general. im sad i dont get to spend as much time with my friends. lots of things

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

i wanted to be a concept artist, and i still want that!! specifically, a character designer :]

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

chocolate anything

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

does ‘the internet’ count? im pretty sure ive never spent more than a couple days away from a computer

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

my mind races and i think everyone either hates me or thinks i hate them

😪 what are you sick of?

you know what im sick of??? capitalism

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

YES!!! i love roller coasters and thrill rides, i’ve always wanted to go bungee jumping and sky diving, and im actually going zip-lining in september!!!

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

i think everyone takes at least one thing way too seriously, everyone should just chill

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

i think im an okay person, definitely not bad, and i try my best to present myself in the nicest, friendliest, most approachable way all the time ;_;

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

art, singing, video games, youtube, and i practice guitar now!!

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

actually....,,.,.,. it was Stronger than you....,.,.,. i hummed it on the way out of my art class today

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

i get way too jealous and hurt if i ever perceive anyone better than me, i feel like i need to be better than the best i know, i try to one up people subconsciously. i need to figure out a way to be more humble and stop trying to be the best, cause it just hurts everyone involved, including myself

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

cute girls!! in cute outfits :-)

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

age, mostly, and experience. and money. damn you capitalism

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

i couldn’t give two shits. i took that test years ago and i dont remember or care anymore

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

anon did you even read these questions or did you send this on impulse

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

iiiiii dont really like celebrities that much!! all the ones i liked are dead :(

🐴 opinion on __?

anon..................

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

yeah, way too much. i care too much, and i love too much, and it hurts after a while

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

iiiiiii dont really read anymore :|

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i try my best to never think of whats making me sad. just try my hardest to get it off my mind. i think it helps just as much as it can hinder

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

my friends and my family love me, and if i go they’ll be really disappointed. also i’ll miss all the cool new video games if i go

🌍 which country do you live in?

the usa, unfortunately

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

round, troubled, red

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.” Robin Williams

💭 do you keep a diary?

nooo but i really should

💫 who inspires you?

my mom cause she does what she needs to every day even though sometimes she hates it. and also robbin williams, see above. he was my idol :’)

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

yes, cause that’d be cool. also i think we have one in our house, but she’s chill

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

either no effort or all the effort. i like cute things and also leather things

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

meet the robinsons. only movie that ever made me really cry.

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

being in my after-school care, and playing with my friends for hours on end, making up stories 

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

robin williams, see 💫

[love-ndletter]

♡ the super sweet @helianthical tagged me (forever ago lol) for this! tysm! ♡

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. (im tagging mutuals id like to get to know better, whether we’ve talked before or not!)

tagging: @fxprettygirl, @goldenseoulss, @jajajaebum, @1wnwu, @beijingbabes, @sooyounqster, @fensi, @sungwoonsgf, @wu-yi-man, @whist1e, @lovelyzc, @xuanyisgfriend, @ppj, @kuwuhn, @wjsoobin, @twiceoficial, @milkjoons, @2monstax, @mortisgenesis, and @oos4n! feel free to opt out!

[[READ MORE BELOW]]

THE LAST:

1. Drink: water! 2. Phone call: i checked my phone and it was my mom 3. Text message: checked as well, my last message was from @poking-dimples 4. Song you listened to: my moms playing the radio out back and i can hear it from the front of the house so the song currently playing is katy perry’s wide awake?? i think thats the name 5. Time you cried: last night cause i was really upset lol

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: yeah 10. Been depressed: yes 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no njasnfjka i cant stand alcohol to the point even talking to people about it makes me uncomfortable

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: light grey, pastels, white

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes!! ♡ 16. Fallen out of love: no 17. Laughed until you cried: yes 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes 19. Met someone who changed you: yes 20. Found out who your friends are: yes 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no lol

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like 99%. i dont accept people i dont know irl unless theyre close internet friends (aka just @moonske) 23. Do you have any pets: i currently have 5 cats (2 are foster cats) and 1 dog ♡♡ 24. Do you want to change your name: full name, yeah. my nickname, no. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i cant really remember?? i think we went down to the beach and just hung out at my house lmaoo. thats usually what we do for my birthday since the beach is free.  26. What time did you wake up: i woke up at 7am because of an alarm but i didnt have nything to do for the day so i passed out until 10:53 when i just woke up 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: washing my face and applying aloe lotion to my sunburn 28. Name something you can’t wait for: all the music thats going to come out within the next few weeks im so pumped!! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: maybe 10 minutes ago? i saw her ordering dinner and then she went to the backyard to finish burning stuff in the fire pit 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i didnt procrastinate so much 31. What are you listening right now: a person playing a game on youtube because the idle sound of others talking helps me focus. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i have 2 uncles name tom and i used to have a good friend from elementary names tom but he always pinched me  33. Something that is getting on your nerves: the fact that i keep putting off my summer rope stuff 34. Most visited Website: probably youtube and then tumblr even though ive been pretty absent lately

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME

35. Mole/s: yeah ive got quite a few and i have a super raised one on my neck but its not an issue 36. Mark/s: yeah! most recently i busted up my knee from the lake so theres lots of scratches and cuts on my left knee and i also have uncountable freckles and just recently got a lot more across my nose and cheeks from sunburn. i also have some scars and birthmarks  37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be- very specifically, my mom can verify- a part-time teacher, part-time pharmacist lmaooo 38. Haircolor: its just brown. 39. Long or short hair: its shorter i guess??? its like-when straight and if you pull it taunt to see the actual length- just past my shoulders 40. Do you have a crush on someone:  nope.  41. What do you like about yourself: i like how im really accepting of people and that when i have negative thoughts about people based on first appearance i feel bad and try to correct myself from thinking so negatively about people before i even know them 42. Piercings: the basic earlobes 43. Bloodtype: O+!! i found out after donating blood at school. the red cross sent me a thank you letter and it had a card with my blood information on it so i can keep it on me! i was really excited ajskfnajk im excited to be 17 so i can sign up for the blood donation red cross app so i can donate more often too! 44. Nickname: sav. my parents still call me vanna sometimes 45. Relationship status: single 46. Zodiac: leo 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: twd, untold stories of the er, theres probably more but i cant remember any :( 49. Tattoos: no 50. Right or left hand: right handed?? is that what this means lmao 51. Surgery: i got my tonsils removed when i was really young but thats it 52. Hair dyed in different color: the only (basic) colors my hair hasnt been is orange, white, and grey.  53. Sport: i never was on a team or anything but my mom encouraged me to sign up for baseball when i was younger because i had a really good arm  where is question 54 ajsbfjkasfnjk what the 55. Vacation: ive been to chicago a few times for a family vacation and once i went to a hotel in milwaukee  56. Pair of trainers: do i?? own trainers??? i own one pair of sneakers nd theyre actually defective 

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: dad just brought pizza home  58. Drinking: water 59. I’m about to: eat and then finish this 61. Waiting for: myself to finish this last batch of questions 62. Want: to finish my autobiography 63. Get married: ehhh maybe one day  64. Career: not sure..... i can only seem to think of cons for jobs id be interested in and never the pros. 

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: i rlly dont like being hugged like 87% of the time but i also dont rlly like being kissed like nywhere so lmaoo 66. Lips or eyes: eyes! ♡♡♡ 67. Shorter or taller: taller....  68. Older or younger: older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: no preference 71. Sensitive or loud: no preference                                                            72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: no preference

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: no 75. Drank hard liquor: no 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no 77. Turned someone down: yes 78. Sex on the first date: no 79. Broken someone’s heart: yeah  80. Had your heart broken: not in a romantic way  81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yes, every time 83. Fallen for a friend: nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: not really 85. Miracles: yeah 86. Love at first sight: kind of? its complicated 87. Santa Claus: no ha ha  88. Kiss in the first date: maybe???  89. Angels: yes

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: sammy ♡♡♡ my fkn queen shell never see this 91. Eye color: i have brown eyes  92. Favorite movie: Train to Busan, The Breakfast Club, Stand by Me, Zombieland, Hush, Alien, Schindler’s List, 28 Days/Weeks Later, Shaun of the Dead, DUFF, BGF, Mean Girls, Saving Private Ryan, Get Out, Ju:On, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Hacksaw Ridge, The Ring, others....

[junker-town]

NFL playoffs Panic Index 2019: Another Super Bowl for Patriots, sorry

There’s a weird coincidence that favors New England. Plus, are the Chiefs going to disappoint again? Is Dallas’ defense too much for the Rams? When does the Eagles’ luck run out?

Welp, looks like it’s going to be another Super Bowl win for the Patriots.

That was locked up Monday night when Clemson torched Alabama in the College Football Playoff National Championship with a 44-16 win.

For four straight years, the Crimson Tide and the Patriots have alternated championships. The Patriots won Super Bowl 49 after Ohio State won the championship in January 2015. Then the Broncos won Super Bowl after Alabama won it all in 2016.

Then it was the Patriots in 2017, and Alabama in 2018.

So you can probably guess what the blowout loss for the Crimson Tide means. It’s Tom Brady time, no matter how much you’re sick of him,

Panic index: Whatever blood oath Nick Saban and Bill Belichick made so they’d have alternating titles had to have an expiration date, right? Brady is 41 now and his statistics in 2018 were closer to the league average than the top of the passing leaderboards. If the Alabama-Patriots curse is going to end — and it has to at some point — this looks like the year it’d happen.

The Chargers don’t look like the Chargers, which is bad news for the Patriots

On Sunday, the Chargers won because they came through in the clutch. This was an entirely un-Chargers way of doing things in the postseason.

Los Angeles had every chance to choke their Wild Card win over the Ravens away. Six different Charger drives sputtered out in Baltimore territory, but Michael Badgley stepped up to calmly drill five field goals despite the swirling winds of the Chesapeake Bay, and set the franchise’s postseason record in the process. A punishing pass rush sacked Lamar Jackson seven times. And when Jackson rallied to set up a potential game-winning drive late in the fourth quarter, the LA defense was there to snuff that out and deny the home crowd a happy ending.

It was an encouraging win, light years away from the 2013 postseason loss that saw the team shrug disinterestedly while falling into a 17-0 hole against the Broncos. Or the Chargers’ 2009 loss to the Steelers that saw Philip Rivers take an early lead before falling into a double-digit hole in the fourth quarter. And definitely not the 2010 team that watched Nate Kaeding botch three field goal attempts in a 17-14 loss to the Jets.

Tom Brady and the Patriots had no trouble handling the old, cursed-from-above Chargers. In 2007 they dispatched a 14-win San Diego team thanks to a Brady interception on fourth down. In 2008, New England took advantage of terribly-timed injuries to Rivers, Antonio Gates, and LaDainian Tomlinson to improve to 18-0 on the season.

But last weekend’s grinding, consistent win suggests these Chargers are built for more and unaffected by the dizzying highs of postseason football. Playing on the road didn’t rattle Rivers’ team, and the cold of Maryland in January didn’t stop it either. This Los Angeles team found a way to bully the Ravens and put up 23 points against their top-ranked defense. Now we get to see what it can do against New England and its 21st-ranked unit.

Panic index: Then again, Alabama lost college football’s National Championship Game, which clears the runway for another Patriots Super Bowl win. New England has never won a world championship the same season as the Crimson Tide. Instead, the two teams have traded title celebrations each year since 2014.

Are the Chiefs haded for another January collapse?

The Chiefs ... in January. We’ve seen this show before, plenty of times. The franchise has only been to a conference championship once since winning Super Bowl IV in 1970. More recent disappointments under Andy Reid include last year’s embarrassing loss to the Titans in Kansas City, narrow losses to the Steelers and Patriots the two years before that. The most painful one of all has to be the Colts’ dramatic comeback from a 28-point deficient in the 2014 Wild Card game to win 45-44.

This year’s Colts look really good, riding a five-game win streak (and 10-1 since Week 7) into this game. Indianapolis owes a lot of those wins to a tough defense, one that was 11th best at keeping opponents from scoring in the red zone during the regular season. The Colts have the fourth best run defense, according to Football Outsiders DVOA.

It’s the kind of defense that could cause problems for the Chiefs offense. But don’t take our word for it:

Not to be a wet blanket but the Chiefs aren’t making all these ridiculous plays in a single game in the playoffs. Lol. Fun to watch today. Good team win!

— Geoff Schwartz (@geoffschwartz) December 30, 2018

The Chiefs defense will have its hands full with the Colts offense too, especially Indianapolis’ offensive line.

Panic index: There’s hope. The Colts defense ranks 20th against the pass, in DVOA. That’s something the Chiefs have managed to do pretty well, in case you hadn’t noticed. But this is the playoffs. It’s going to be tough to score at will. And if it turns into a shootout, the Chiefs can hang with the best of them.

Kansas City may have found some resiliency this season too. Andy Reid’s team won a couple of grind-it-out slugfests against good defenses, including a Week 14 OT win against the Ravens. Maybe it’s a new kind of January in the Chiefs kingdom.

The Eagles’ magic has to run out at some point, right?

A month ago, we left them for dead. Now the Eagles have won four in a row and are back in the Divisional Round again. We’re still not sure how, other than Nick Foles being a witch, of course.

But while that underdog swagger fueled them to a surprising Super Bowl win a year ago, these aren’t those same Eagles. And this isn’t the same NFC as it was last year.

For starters, the Saints have been the best team in the NFL for most of the season. The Eagles held that title last year.

The Eagles also don’t get to play this month in the comfort of the Linc, in front of their sometimes-adoring, sometimes-jeering fans. They survived in Chicago, but next up is the Superdome, a whole other beast — one that chewed them up and spit them out, to the tune of a 48-7 thrashing — less than two months ago.

The Eagles have changed somewhat since that Week 11 disaster, but are they really THAT different? Can Foles’ January juju turn a 41-point loss into an NFC Championship-advancing win? In one of the hostile environments in the NFL? A place where Drew Brees and Sean Payton have never lost during the playoffs?

How many more times can they win by the skin of their teeth — or by the graze of a hand and a double doink missed field goal?

The expiration date on all this good fortune is Sunday in New Orleans, right?

Panic index: Wellll, this is matchup that pits one team that seems to have nothing but luck on its side against another that was ousted in the playoffs in one of the worst ways possible a year ago.

We’re not sure we want to tempt fate and count Foles out, either. The last time these two teams played, Foles was on the bench. It’s not unprecedented for a fluky backup to dominate in New Orleans either. Ryan Fitzpatrick did it in Week 1 when the Bucs left the Big Easy with a 48-40 win, one of the most inexplicable games of this entire season. The Fitzmagic supply was eventually exhausted. But maybe it died so that Nickmagic could live.

The Cowboys defense should frighten the hell out of the Rams

It’s a good thing the Rams had a bye last week. That should have given Sean McVay and his team plenty of time to study tape of the Cowboys, especially that Week 13 win over the Saints. Dallas has the kind of defense that can suck the life right out of the high-flying Rams offense, forcing Jared Goff and Co. to have to try to beat them at their own brand of low-scoring, grinding football.

Two things the Cowboys do well are a red flag for the Rams. First, Rod Marinelli’s group is one of the best at stopping the run. They choked out Seattle’s league-best rushing attack last week, holding them to just 73 yards on the ground. Los Angeles is 2-3 when defenses hold them to fewer than 100 rushing yards in a game.

And then there’s the Cowboys pass rush. Their 39 sacks this season put them squarely in the middle of the pack, but they were very good at getting pressure, something they did on nearly third of the time when an opposing quarterback dropped back to throw. It’s a group led by Demarcus Lawrence, but the entire unit (Tyrone Crawford and Randy Gregory each have more than a dozen QB hits this season) can make life hell for opposing passers.

Rams coach Sean McVay on Cowboys' defense: "You see why DeMarcus Lawrence is on the franchise tag, because he's an elite rusher and you certainly feel his presence. They're a great defense and extremely well-coached. Really sound. Similar to kind of what we said about Chicago."

— Brandon George (@DMN_George) January 7, 2019

The Rams lost that game against the Bears, 15-6.

Panic index: No question about it, the Rams are going to have their hands full against the Cowboys defense. However, they have a defensive weapon of their own, Aaron Donald. Nobody harassed quarterbacks more frequently than the assumed Defensive Player of the Year. He’s impossible to block. That could be a problem since Dak Prescott’s having the worst year of his career against pressure.

Is it possible this game could end up being a defensive battle?

[spicynbachili2]

Red Dead Redemption 2 Review

Share.

A meticulously polished open world ode to the outlaw period.

By Luke Reilly

Pink Lifeless Redemption 2 is a sprawling Western story of loyalty, conviction, and the worth of infamy, chronicling the inevitable collapse of a motley crew of Wild West holdouts kicking in opposition to the sluggish march of civilisation and industrialisation. Set in Rockstar’s most genuine and lived-in open world ever, there are such a lot of issues to do, so many individuals to satisfy, and so many locations to discover it’s giddily overwhelming. Pink Lifeless Redemption 2 isn’t simply Rockstar’s best achievement thus far; it’s a sport so missing in compromise it’s robust to know the place greatest to begin discussing it.

So let’s begin firstly: It’s 1899 and American outlaws are an endangered species. Dutch van der Linde and his gang are on the run after a botched heist within the rising city of Blackwater and so they’ve retreated excessive into the mountains the place an atrocious blizzard is masking their escape. We slip into the spurs of Arthur Morgan, an exceedingly cool and succesful outlaw who was discovered by Dutch as a boy and raised on the fallacious facet of the regulation, and settle in for a roughly 60-hour story.

It’s a self-contained and linear introduction nevertheless it’s a intelligent one. The slick cinematics make a hell of first impression, embedding you within the gang and bringing you proper up near the characters who’re doing their greatest to bellow over the howling wind. It additionally positioned me in a distraction-free bubble whereas I discovered a few of Pink Lifeless Redemption 2’s early controls and programs, which heightened the impression of getting the total map divulge heart’s contents to me a couple of hours later. The situations on the mountain are nearly claustrophobic, with visibility at a premium and thick snow trapping Arthur’s ft. Being set free within the true open world after toughing it out on this deliberately oppressive atmosphere actually underscores the unbelievable feeling of freedom the total map provides.

The Massive Nation

And what a world it’s; broader, extra stunning, and extra diversified than the one we explored in 2010’s Pink Lifeless Redemption by an enormous margin (although components of that sport’s map are additionally included). There are snowy peaks and dank, alligator-infested swamps. Thick forests and open plateaus. Quaint homesteads and grand plantations. Slim streams and nice lakes. Dusty gulches and dim caves. There’s the muddy livestock city of Valentine, with its wood buildings and rustic attraction, after which there’s the imposing metropolis of Saint Denis, a dirty and rising metropolis full of recent extravagances like electrical trams, paved roads, and Chinese language eating places. The huge assortment of ecosystems and environments seamlessly stitched collectively right here is nothing in need of outstanding.

Pink Lifeless Redemption 2 does an distinctive job at slowly rationing out causes to go to each nook of its enormous world, too. I used to be nonetheless led to areas of the map I hadn’t but visited even within the closing phases of its 60-hour most important storyline. As a result of so many playing cards are saved up its sleeve, the enjoyment of discovering new components of the world is maintained all through.

“

The flexibility of this sport to maintain itself recent after so many hours is extraordinary

The flexibility of this sport to maintain itself recent after so many hours is extraordinary, and never fully because of simply the dimensions and variety of the world; it’s how alive all of these locations really feel. Whereas the largely rural world of Pink Lifeless Redemption 2 is way much less dense than the likes of Grand Theft Auto V, it’s completely brimming with wildlife to find, folks to work together with (and doubtlessly assist), and locations to scrutinise. The very best sort of open worlds are those who appear nearly detached to your presence in them; like life goes on whether or not you stick your nostril into proceedings or not. I’ve sat and watched lumberjacks felling timber at a bustling logging camp and curiously tailed a perturbed Englishman wandering round city on the lookout for his mate “Gav.” None of that is essential to the development of Arthur’s story; it simply helps construct a world round him that made me really feel like a customer reasonably than the centre of the universe. Pink Lifeless Redemption 2 nails this in a method that few – if any – video games have earlier than.

In a Valley of Violence

The slower tempo of Pink Lifeless Redemption 2 in comparison with one thing like the marginally extra breakneck GTA V can also be an enormous a part of the way it inspired me to drink in all of the world has to supply. Our bodies must be manually looted, and Arthur must bodily manhandle a physique to take action. Single-action pistols have to be cocked earlier than firing. Weapons Arthur isn’t at the moment carrying must retrieved from his saddle. Espresso must be brewed earlier than ingesting it.

I think some people could regard this type of stuff as chore-like, however I actually dig it. There’s one thing methodical about it that actually helps floor Arthur on the earth, reasonably than have him really feel like he’s gliding via it. As an illustration, I love the deliberate and mechanical strategy of biking a brand new cartridge with a lever-action rifle by way of a second pull of the hearth button – you may even pause for dramatic impact midway via. Rockstar’s designers didn’t must issue that in however I feel they perceive that tiny, nearly trivial cases of delicate management like this subconsciously seat me into the world as Arthur much more.

The unhurried tempo of checking vanquished enemies for goodies is an fascinating design resolution however I fairly like the chance versus reward loot loop, to be sincere. Do I dart round and pickpocket a dozen lifeless guys or do I simply get the hell out of Dodge? They’re penalties you must be ready to simply accept both as a result of your consideration is required elsewhere or as a result of lingering across the scene of a criminal offense naturally places you at additional danger of being found. Bounties don’t at all times come low cost. Did a kind of fellas have a gold nugget in his trousers? Maybe you’ll by no means know.

About my solely main logistical gripe is that the weapons I used to be beforehand carrying are often swapped out for others. Oftentimes it’s clearly mission-related to make sure you go right into a activity with a scoped rifle or bow when required, which is okay. Extra irksome are the occasions I find yourself with mismatching pistols for twin wielding, with the sport buying and selling out my choice. The admittedly transient little bit of time it takes to swap again did elicit the occasional grumble from me.

“

I spent a great deal of time off-mission merely moseying round, bingeing on the world like a digital museum

At any fee, it’s significantly price settling into the tempo Rockstar is attempting to set right here as a result of there’s simply a lot to see and listen to. You’ll hear distinctive, one-time conversations that happen in camp after sure missions, in addition to different bespoke bits of dialogue that reference latest occasions. Strolling via camp, I’ve been aware about all the things from a heated bust-up between John Marston and his associate, Abigail, to the good-natured con man Hosea Matthews regaling the younger Jack Marston with tales of his newest fishing journey. That is all taking place round Arthur whether or not you pause to eavesdrop or not. It makes the camp really feel like a concentrated model of the world at giant, a spot with folks going about their enterprise and interacting with each other fully independently of you. I can’t understate the real feeling of life this injects into the general expertise for me.

Elsewhere on the earth there’s nonetheless lots for individuals who care to cease and scent the roses. Newspapers offered on road corners contact on the aftermath of Arthur’s exploits, in addition to different issues occurring around the globe. Very like in GTA V, you may go to theatres and soak up some old-timey leisure. Canines may be patted. I spent a great deal of time off-mission merely moseying round, bingeing on the world like a digital museum. There’s merely an excessive amount of to listing.

How the West Was Gained

The primary story missions themselves are a cocktail of high-stakes heists, lethal shootouts, determined rescues, and thrilling chases, blended with a prolonged listing of different actions. Lots of these perform as natural methods to show us about new facet hustles and actions that may be undertaken, from promoting stolen horses to taking part in poker or fishing.

All of it feels nice to play, comparable in a whole lot of methods to its fast predecessor however injected with a pile of recent animations and a number of layers of interactivity. It asks a whole lot of the finite quantity of buttons on a controller, however as soon as I grew to become accustomed to which instructions require a faucet and which require a press-and-hold I had few hassles. Shootouts are supremely cinematic because of loads of gun smoke and the identical fashion of on-the-fly, ever-changing demise animations which have characterised Rockstar video games since GTA IV. You may even shoot off folks’s hats and choose them up later for your self.

I feel there’s a standard presumption that Pink Lifeless Redemption is simply GTA on a horse, however that’s a bit reductive. Actually the GTA DNA is right here, however with much more primitive firearms at your fingertips gun battles are extra intimate and anarchic. I like the shut vary clashes, hunkered down behind bits of canopy exchanging lead with enemies typically simply yards away, or slugging it out in bareknuckle scraps. It’s thrilling and enjoyable. Fight from horseback is equally well-handled and it’s at all times a grisly spotlight to look at unlucky saps go limp and tumble from the saddle in a seemingly infinite variety of methods. I feel Arthur feels a fraction heavier than any of the GTA V trio, however I’d not say that I discovered his motion cumbersome. I actually like how linked Arthur feels to the world. I’m not a selected fan of that old-school, skating third-person really feel – just like the participant character has no inertia – and that’s actually not current right here.

Lifeless Eye returns, naturally, because it’s been a part of the sequence since Pink Lifeless Revolver. It’s had some upgrades this time, probably the most helpful of which highlights essential hit areas on a goal (very helpful for clear kills whereas searching). It’s nonetheless a really efficient method to make you’re feeling like an unstoppable gunslinger and the grotesque ballet of slow-motion death-dealing stays disturbingly satisfying.

I didn’t have interaction a lot with the out there camp improve choices – not the aesthetic ones, at the least. There are some sensible upgrades I acquired that had gameplay advantages hooked up, like a ship to go fishing in or a map at Arthur’s quarters that unlocks quick journey. I don’t really feel like I missed a lot by opting out of buying animal skulls and rugs and such. These items feels a bit extra like a primer for Pink Lifeless On-line, the multiplayer part coming at an unspecified later date.

I selected to not do an enormous quantity of crafting, both, and I used to be by no means actually punished for it. You may craft tonics and satchels, and recipes may be found all through the course of the story. Nonetheless, I principally made it via on bought objects, restocking in camp, and religiously ransacking lifeless our bodies for liquor, well being tonics, and cigarettes. (I created a lot  of lifeless our bodies.)

Two new components I did take fairly significantly had been horse bonding and the honour system. The previous is an impressed methodology of constructing you deal with your horse with practical respect as a substitute of driving the poor factor off cliffs or parking it on prepare tracks for giggles. All horses are distinctive, and solely those that belief Arthur may be relied upon to remain calm and never kick him off within the face of a predator or in a gun battle, and that belief is constructed by driving, brushing, and feeding it. I preferred having to click on within the thumbstick to reassure my horse when he was scared – it makes him really feel actual  and establishes a physical-to-digital bond between you two. Your horse can die, too, and there’s no bringing her or him again if that occurs. I saved the identical horse from early within the sport all the best way to the finale and was really hooked up to that massive man. A few of the different people right here have been much less fortunate and have had needed to endure the intestine punch of euthanising their equine comrade (at all times pack some horse revivers, folks).

In the meantime, Arthur’s private honour is one thing that’s within the background always, rising and falling based mostly on his actions on the earth. In sensible phrases, being an outlaw who refrains from killing in chilly blood and who helps common people around the globe will get you reductions in outlets and customarily means you received’t must look over your shoulder fairly as typically for bounty hunters and lawmen. Taking part in via as a vicious monster can also be attainable, though it’s not fully clear to me whether or not there’d be some dissonance between that method and Arthur’s precise story. I nonetheless want to analyze additional, however I’m actually pleased with how my playthrough turned out and the outlaw-with-a-soft-side Arthur I selected to inhabit.

As soon as Upon a Time Within the West

Pink Lifeless Redemption 2 is an undeniably fairly sport throughout the board. The lighting is incredible, significantly in darkish, misty conditions the place shafts of moonlight stab via the timber, and I like the best way it handles Arthur leaving weakly-lit interiors into the quickly blinding solar exterior. The sunsets are particularly spectacular and appear to range relying on the climate system. Some are harsh and beaming whereas others are heat and delicate. The facial animation is a noticeable step up from GTA V, and the extent of granular element is sort of absurd, from the best way blood smears on Arthur’s shoulder after carrying a kill to the best way particular person strands of his majestic mutton chops quiver within the breeze. The best way wagon wheels grow to be caked in mud. The best way rust builds up on a poorly-maintained firearm. It’s one other lengthy, lengthy listing that speaks to a excessive degree of consideration to element.

Regardless of the place you look, all the things feels meticulously handcrafted. Each consumable is labelled and may be picked up and inspected. Each catalogue in shops is filled with customized textual content and illustrations pointing to merchandise out there on the market or previous timey ads. Hallways are embellished with framed photos I’ve by no means observed repeated all through the world. Keep in mind: that is the sport the place horse testicles shrink when the climate is chilly. Greater than as soon as I discovered myself quickly hypnotised by the musculature and pores and skin creases on my horse’s butt. That’s a bizarre sentence, however you’re going to spending a whole lot of time taking a look at a horse’s butt. It’d as nicely impress you.

“

Regardless of the place you look, all the things feels meticulously handcrafted

Horses are astonishingly well-animated and really feel like real dwelling creatures as they swing their necks, stomp their ft, and shudder their our bodies on their very own accord. That mentioned, it’d be good if the identical self-preservation abilities horses show when galloping in direction of a ravine kicked in when careening in direction of an impediment in entrance – I undoubtedly clattered into a couple of posts and fellow riders earlier than determining my steed typically wasn’t going to keep away from these on his personal.

Johnny Guitar

Equally spectacular is the audio, from the sound results to the voice work to the massive library of music. Whether or not you’re anticipating the satisfying metallic crunch of a reload, the enduring twang of a Hollywood Western ricochet, or the delicate squeak of a lodge floorboard, it’s all there. Bullets fired on mountaintops ring with cracking echoes, fully totally different to the sound of bullets fired indoors. There are a variety of distinctive sounds which were recorded to look simply a few times throughout the entire of Pink Lifeless Redemption 2, just like the squeak of detonator wire being unspooled or the clink of bottles behind a moonshine wagon. They’re all fixed reminders that little appears to have been missed.

“

I additionally love how the world appears to be ready for just about any motion you may consider

I additionally love how the world appears to be ready for just about any motion you may consider. Flip round and stroll straight again right into a retailer you’ve simply left and the shopkeeper will seemingly make a remark about the way you’re again so quickly. Go away a theatre earlier than a movie is completed and the ticket clerk will quip, “Appears you didn’t like that.” Shoot a well mannered howdy in direction of two folks standing collectively and Arthur will use a plural time period reasonably than a singular pronoun. All of it contributes to a sense of uncommon polish that’s even rarer in a sport of this girth.

And the music? It’s excellent. Woody Jackson’s authentic rating is prime notch – an evocative mixture of jangling Ennio Morricone-esque guitar and extra soulful items higher suited to patiently trotting via the world absorbing its combination of magnificence and ugliness. There are additionally a couple of events the place non-instrumental tracks are used to glorious impact; one artist, specifically, was an enormous shock to me and sings an impactful monitor throughout a key second late within the story.

The Wild Bunch

The plot thread holding Pink Lifeless Redemption 2’s astonishing array of programs and gameplay alternatives collectively is Rockstar’s most critical and earnest story thus far, and positively one of the best written. It’s not important to have performed Pink Lifeless Redemption to understand and perceive what’s occurring right here, particularly since it is a prequel story that takes place 12 years earlier, though I discovered it very rewarding being acquainted with the bigger plot because it connects to the eventual destiny of the enigmatic Dutch van der Linde. Arthur’s relationship with Pink Lifeless Redemption protagonist John Marston right here can also be significantly fascinating to me as a fan of the 2010 sport, and it’s very well-handled. Marston is a vital a part of the story however Rockstar has been restrained sufficient to not highlight him at Arthur’s expense.

“

We get to look at an extremely nuanced efficiency as Dutch’s confidence ebbs and his restraint fades

Even higher, nevertheless, is watching Dutch’s gradual descent from being the charismatic, profitable, and intelligent chief of a gang of lethal outlaws to somebody on monitor to grow to be the cold-blooded and overwhelmed man being hunted down by Marston 12 years later. We get to look at an extremely nuanced efficiency as Dutch’s confidence ebbs and his restraint fades. Wonderful, too, is most important man Arthur: Not solely is there an infectious authenticity to his low and easy tone of voice, which appears excellent beneath the swept-back hair and massive mutton chops I let him sprout by solely ever shaving his chin, however when Arthur himself is a far wearier man by the story’s climax his supply is doubly potent.

The entire forged is nice, actually. Antagonists just like the Pinkertons on the gang’s path are a bit thinly painted and one thing about younger Jack Marston’s sing-song voice didn’t sit proper with me, however Arthur’s companions in crime all get swags of display time; actually sufficient to really feel like convincing, three-dimensional characters that Arthur has an actual relationship with. What’s extra is that regardless of representing a variety of folks from quite a lot of disparate cultures – from Irish thug Sean Macguire to Native American brawler Charles Smith – all of them really feel like credible human beings and never caricatures.

Mixed with robust writing and path, the result’s a sport that’s honest as a substitute of satirical, and humorous whereas remaining able to some supremely well-earned emotional moments, particularly all through the really glorious crescendo and epilogue.

And even after finishing the epilogue, which is break up into two components and longer than many complete video games I’ve performed in latest reminiscence, I nonetheless have a stack of strangers that want serving to, gangs that want killing, cheats to experiment with, and fish that want catching. There are 30 several types of fish on this sport about cowboys. I’ve caught 4.

The Verdict

Pink Lifeless Redemption 2 stands shoulder-to-shoulder with Grand Theft Auto V as one of many best video games of the fashionable age. It’s a beautiful depiction of an unpleasant interval that’s affected person, polished, and an enormous quantity of enjoyable to play, and it’s mixed with Rockstar’s greatest storytelling thus far. Even after ending the prolonged story I can’t wait to return and play extra. This can be a sport of uncommon high quality; a meticulously polished open world ode to the outlaw period. In search of considered one of this technology’s best single-player motion experiences? Right here’s your huckleberry.

from SpicyNBAChili.com https://www.spicynbachili.com/red-dead-redemption-2-review/

[radiohorizon]

5 million years later...

1.Who was the last person you held hands with? Romantically, Emily. Friendwise, Arin or Annabelle i cant remember 
2. Are you outgoing or shy? Depends on who I’m around. If I’m comfortable in the situation, I’m outgoing but if I’m not im the shyest person ever 
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My baby cousin whos like 3 weeks old😍 
4. Are you easy to get along with? Extremely 
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Uh i hope so? Idk I’ve never been in the situation 
6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Kind, sarcastic assholes, who have my weird ass sense of humor and adore animals 
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I have no idea🤷🏼‍♀️ 
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? My best friend. He’s going through a really hard time and I don’t know how to help him feel better 
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Depends on the context and people I’m having the conversation with 
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Bea. She always lets me vent tf out and always gives the greatest advice, even if I don’t wanna hear it 
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Sorry bud😉” 
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Missing Teeth- Vanity Theft Smokestacks- Layla Open Hands- Ingrid Michaelson Saturn- Sleeping At Last Castle- Halsey 
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Yesssss😍 
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Absofreakinglutely 
15. What good thing happened this summer? Vacation with Katie and Kristy; met Bea 
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? I mean probably. We kissed and it didn’t mean anything, it was more for fun than anything else 
17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Heck yeah. Lightyears of planets and other galaxies? No way we’re here alone 
18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Yeah kinda. We aren’t that close and I don’t really care to be lmao 
19. Do you like bubble baths? Love them😍 
20. Do you like your neighbors? For the most part yes. 
21. What are you bad habits? Picking at the skin around my nails and biting my cheek with im anxious or bored; not letting go; trusting easily; eating too much; not taking care of myself; selfharm 
22. Where would you like to travel? Across the country; the dead sea; egypt; hawaii; Cancun; Australia; basically anywhere 
23. Do you have trust issues? Horrible trust issues 
24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Seeing my cat 
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Honestly i dont know. I have issues with my stomach, back, butt, boobs, thighs, calves, wrists, arms, fingers, ankles, face, chest. Basically anywhere there is fat and/or acne and/or stretch marks and/or scars 
26. What do you do when you wake up? Go on my phone, brush my hair, brush my teeth and then whatever comes next 
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Darker. I’m pale as shit 
28. Who are you most comfortable around? Probably Bea or Stevie 
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Yeah, 1. And then she continued to ignore me and treat me like shit so🤷🏼‍♀️ 
30. Do you ever want to get married? Yep! In my back yard with my dad as the dude who marries me and my future wife and gives me away 
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Heck yeah boi 
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Ruby Rose and Mila Kunis 
33. Spell your name with your chin. Herg (Beth) 
34. Do you play sports? What sports? Dance (10 years), Cheer(2 years) and soccer (maybe 5 years) 
35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Without TV hands down 
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yeppers 
37. What do you say during awkward silences? “Uhhhhhh” or just laugh awkwardly or “why is it so quiet” 
38. Describe your dream girl/guy? 🤷🏼‍♀️ honestly just want someone that’s kind and strong willed and has a big heart and loves cats as much as me. My “type” literally doesn’t exist so 
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Kohls, Ross, HotTopic, Rue 21, Forever 21, Big Lots, Macy’s 
40. What do you want to do after high school? College and then Police Academy 
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? 100% but not everyone deserves a 3rd 
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I’m super upset and probably feel nauseous and shaky and am about to start crying or go into an anxiety attack or something. Or im just tired as fuck 
43. Do you smile at strangers? Yeppers 
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Bottom of the ocean 
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Anxiety of failing school 
46. What are you paranoid about? Losing the people I love to the same issues I have dealt with 
47. Have you ever been high? Yeeep 
48. Have you ever been drunk? Noooope 
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Not that I can think of? 
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Red 
51. Ever wished you were someone else? Yes, a lot actually 
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? My body 
53. Favourite makeup brand? Lorac 
54. Favourite store? Ross or Kohls 
55. Favourite blog? Humans of New York 
56. Favourite colour? Dark Purple 
57. Favourite food? Cheeseburger or red peppers 
58. Last thing you ate? Ice cream 
59. First thing you ate this morning? Toast 
60. Ever won a competition? For what? No but I got 2 in gymnastics when i was 8😌 
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? Nopee 
62. Been arrested? For what? Nopee 
63. Ever been in love? Yeppers and kinda scared of it happening again🤷🏼‍♀️ 
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? First peck kiss was during my choir concert in a literal closet with my then girlfriend with a bunch of my friends circling around us so no one would see First kiss kiss was with my then crush and it was so not expected but super romantic so 
65. Are you hungry right now? Not reallg 
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? I dont really have tumblr friends that arent my real friends so no? 
67. Facebook or Twitter? Tweeter 
68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr 
69. Are you watching tv right now? Yeah actually lol 
70. Names of your bestfriends? Katie, Kristy, Andrew, Elizabeth, Abby, Beatrice, Hailey, Kyle, Annabelle, Tyler 
71. Craving something? What? Pink Lemonade 
72. What colour are your towels? Multicolors 
72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 1 but used to sleep with 2 
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Yepp. A teddy bear the twins gave me in 1st grade, a puppy from my mom when I was born, a unicorn, a kitty and a Pegasus unicorn kitty named Puck 
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? A shit ton 
75. Favourite animal? Monkey or cats 
76. What colour is your underwear? Olive green 
77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate and vanilla swirl 
78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Cookies and cream 
79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Black 
80. What colour pants? Black 
81. Favourite tv show? NCIS or Criminal Minds or Shameless or the OLD scoobydoo, none of that new bullshit 
82. Favourite movie? Chitty chitty band bang 
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Mean girls 
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean girls 
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Gretchen 
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Crush 
87. First person you talked to today? Bea 
88. Last person you talked to today? Lacey 
89. Name a person you hate? No one 
90. Name a person you love? My momma 
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? #fucktrump and this bitch at school but not gonna cause it aint worth it 
92. In a fight with someone? Nope 
93. How many sweatpants do you have? Like 3 
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? About 3 that i wear, but a lot that dont fit me anymore 
95. Last movie you watched? The Remains 
96. Favourite actress? Jennifer Lawrence 
97. Favourite actor? Josh Hucherson or Gerard Butler 
98. Do you tan a lot? Not at all. Only burn so theres no point 
99. Have any pets? 2 cats and 1 puppy 
100. How are you feeling? Tired, alone, but a little happier 
101. Do you type fast? Ye but im shit at it 
102. Do you regret anything from your past? Certain things with my ex, and not starting cheer sooner but other than that no 
103. Can you spell well? HA no 
104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Yes, a few people 
105. Ever been to a bonfire party? No but i wish): 
106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Not that i know or 
107. Have you ever been on a horse? Mhm 
108. What should you be doing? Sleeping 
109. Is something irritating you right now? My wrist hurts like a bitch and this person is ignoring me like i never existed so there’s that 
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Yepp 
111. Do you have trust issues? Lol yes 
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Abby 
113. What was your childhood nickname? Beth 
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yeah 
115. Do you play the Wii? Not really 
116. Are you listening to music right now? No 
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Ew no 
118. Do you like Chinese food? Heck yeaaah😍 
119. Favourite book? Yo this is impossible to answer 
120. Are you afraid of the dark? Yeah fuck that shit but also cant sleep unless its completely dark?? 
121. Are you mean? No i dont think so 
122. Is cheating ever okay? Nope 
123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Lol no 
124. Do you believe in love at first sight? Sorta kinda 
125. Do you believe in true love? Yes 
126. Are you currently bored? Yeeeep 
127. What makes you happy? Little random things. Finding a good book, getting a compliment, shaving, random presents even if it seems little or insignificant, seeing my parents together 
128. Would you change your name? No. Ive grown to love and cherish it 
129. What your zodiac sign? Pisces 
130. Do you like subway? Not really 
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Already been through that🙄 tell them how I feel and respect their feelings 
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Bea 
133. Favourite lyrics right now? “Open hands are hard to hold onto anyway” 
134. Can you count to one million? No way 
135. Dumbest lie you ever told? “No mom i didnt get into your makeup or perfume!” As i had her makeup smeared on my face and i smelled like a brothel 
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Teeny bit open so my cat can get in and out but preferred closed 
137. How tall are you? A whopping 5ft 1 
138. Curly or Straight hair? On me? Straight/curly/wavy friss mess On others? Dont have a preference 
139. Brunette or Blonde? On me? Light brunette, wish i still had blonde hair 
140. Summer or Winter? Summer 
141. Night or Day? Night 
142. Favourite month? Probably may or july or October 
143. Are you a vegetarian? No but i respect everyone that is 
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Milk 
145. Tea or Coffee? Coffee 
146. Was today a good day? I mean it wasnt bad but nothing made it good so i guess sure? 
147. Mars or Snickers? Snickers 
148. What’s your favourite quote? Lose the battle win the war 
149. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes 
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line Theres literally no books around me rn and im sad about it

@lovestream-dreams

[soulcollector0100-blog]

Teyonna Everette Vs CMDI

             IN THE CIRCUIT COURT FOR ARLINGTON COUNTY, VA Teyonna Everette Address Sealed           Plaintiff                                                                                Case #:    ______________                   v.           CMDI           Attention           John Simms           Bruce Pechacek           1593 Spring Hill Rd #400           Vienna, VA 22182           PJTV          Attention          Roger L. Simon          Charles Foster Johnson          Address to be added          Defendant                                                                 COMPLAINT PLAINTIFF, TEYONNA EVERRETTE, comes this day, October 07, 2017, pro se, and for the reasons and causes for his Complaint, states as follows:                               COUNT I, II, III IV VII VI:  Criminal Harassment, Cyber Harassment, Intentional Emotional Distress, Conspiracy and Attempted Murder.                1. Plaintiff, Teyonna Everette and Matthew Orr a constituent of  CMDI shared the equivalent of a romantic fling while working at CMDI during the time period of June, 2007 and December, 2008. Three yellow articles of clothing became memory boxes that highlight romantic events between Teyonna Everette and Matthew Orr.                2. Plaintiff, Teyonna Everette, left CMDI first then Matthew Orr followed 5-6 months later which preceded a move to California by Matthew Orr.                3. In 2014 I was offered a job by Ms. Susan Floyd upon a request for a reference which was turned down by Teyonna Everette. I experienced an unfortunate health situation months later that resulted in me emailing Raven Scott. Daughter of Susan Floyd.            4. The email which was not sent to Matthew Orr and had personal and damaging information was passed around to numerous of people by Raven Scott including Matthew Orr. This is following a Company Website opened by CMDI with Raven wearing yellow. 5. Matthew Orr while working at his previous job before returning to CMDI created a video humiliating me with other people he works with for the whole world to see. Matthew Orr Returned to CMDI in 2015 following these events.                6. I was not fully aware of The damage CMDI and Raven had done till the end of 2016. After Matts refusal to answer my apology letter which was crazy on my part to send.           7. It was highlighted in 2016 that Matt had completely and irreversibly turned and disowned me even to the point of watching me embarrassed on a platform.  CMDI has created policies based off events happening during the time the email was spread around.                8. The Damages are highlighted in this complaint but they will not be highlighted in this cover letter. Please Continue to read Attached pages. Summary of Events and Relief follows, See Attached.                                                                   Respectfully submitted,                                                            _____________________                                                                Teyonna Everette,Plaintiff                                                          Address Sealed Statement of Claim CMDI Attention John Simms Bruce Pechacek 1593 Spring Hill Rd #400 Vienna, VA 22182 PJTV Attention Roger L. Simon Charles Foster Johnson Address to be added Write a short and plain statement of the claim. Do not make legal arguments. State as briefly as possible the facts showing that each plaintiff is entitled to the damages or other relief sought. State how each defendant was involved and what each defendant did that caused the plaintiff harm or violate the plaintiff’s rights including the dates and places of that involvement or conduct. If more than one claim is asserted, number each claim and write a short and plain statement of each claim in a separate paragraph. Attach additional pages if needed. Disclaimer. This complaint is out of ordinary in the fact that it does not accurately demonstrate my brand of communicating and expressing feelings. But due to the utter lack of common sense and flagrant disregard for other people’s feelings and lives displayed by the people listed in this complaint. This complaint is unorthodox in nature and does contain foul language.   April 26, 2017 Teyonna Everette Vs CMDI of Vienna, VA and PJTV of Los Angeles, CA I originally began work at CMDI in the summer of 2007. It was my first official desk job. I was there to work and nothing else. The following serves as a disclaimer. Obviously now I am more aware of the very thin line between a personal and professional relationship and the standards I have set for myself because of past situations.  This is not to say I wasn't professional or that I crossed any lines but this suit does pertain to something of a personal nature. Long story short. I had feelings for the representative of my table. He never directly admitted he reciprocated any feelings but he knew and acknowledged my feelings I would even extend myself to say that he at the very least liked the attention and flirted back. Excuse me started the flirting and then responded to me responding. At the time of him leaving I was under strong belief he returned my feelings but I may or may not have been correct. I continuously played double advocate with myself. But I never received any direct proof. CMDI or a few of its representatives were even equal to gasoline in a fire in terms of playing matchmaker. I fully understand sometimes we can walk by things and not see the full picture and think cute but In light of recent events I find CMDI's behavior questionable.  I left CMDI in December 2007 and then returned sept 2008. I did tell Matt I had feelings for him in email a short time after I left the first time. Though it was not the reason I left. At that time he did say he did not return feelings. I returned to CMDI in sept of 2008 due to circumstances out of my control. I was dead set on it not being a thing and to minimize and or eradicate any chance meetings with Matt since my returning had nothing to do with him. The first day the avoiding Matt thing was quickly dismantled. But our interactions were initiated by him. Originally I was dead set on keeping the conversation strictly to business and only meeting when business mandated it. But then we fell back into old patterns. Our relationship was generally professional but Matt and I had our own brand of communicating. Please forgive the romance novel format it’s unintentional but it’s necessary to explain details. I forgot to add I had lost a substantial amount of weight upon returning to CMDI the second time. I was losing weight before and while at CMDI the first time I just continued to lose weight due to dieting and exercise thereafter. Matt and I are both Beyonce fans and Matt unexpectedly one day pulled me into his cube and put on Beyonce and began to dance.  The song was Get Me Bodied. Beyonce was kind of a keepsake for me. I can’t speak for other people. Two very noteworthy events was the Christmas party in 2008. Somehow we had gotten into a conversation about the Christmas party. He cajoled that he wasn’t going. I had made it clear I wanted him to go. He waited a long time then as I was going to get the bus he said he was going. I called him a punk and left. I wore a yellowish gold and black dress but I had intended to wear red but I didn’t due to the fact that the dress was not as professional as I would have liked. The top part till about my waist area was I want to say a yellowish gold and the skirt part of the dress was black.  Matt wore a pink dress shirt and brown casual slacks. Matt and I ended up sitting together. The night was interesting and eventful to say the least. Matt asked me if I wanted to go outside. The Christmas party was on a boat. I said yes.  Matt got out of his seat and then I followed. Unconsciously I asked the whole table if they wanted to go outside with us. It was an accident. Matt didn’t look the happiest standing but then the servers came around with food. So we decided to wait. Raven had on a short red dress. Personally in my opinion it was way too short for a company party but honestly I didn’t care. I wasn’t jealous. As a female it was just a casual note. The song Lady in Red was the second or third song. Obviously I have feelings for Matt but intelligent enough to know it’s not fair or reasonable to be jealous. She’s not even sitting with us. I would be interested to know who created the playlist but neither here nor there. I did wear the same red dress that I was thinking about wearing to the party the next business day at CMDI. Note the red dress was purchased and it was fir to be worn but at the last minute I changed my mind and purchased the yellow/gold and black. Teyonna was JEALOUS. End of discussion. Helps me ascertain that as Crazy as this sounds Raven wearing yellow might not be as innocent as people make it out to be. Secondly I agree I would never do anything of the sort if off puts me reading this. But I’ve met Raven and CMDI and Matt has given me reason to no longer trust them, which is sad because I’m a very reasonable person. These people like messy scenes and situations.   The second noteworthy event was the going away party at Matt’s friend’s house. I received an email from Matt after I had started my new job that he was moving to California to pursue school. Obviously I was caught off guard but I said if that's what he wanted then I wish him well. I also said I wanted to hang out with him before he left. He told me very last minute his friend was throwing a party. Again Matt never made anything clear I never said anything directly but the whole world knew I had feelings for Matt. I did learn the night of the going away party that Matt’s car is gold. I had no idea up until that point.   Matt and I didn’t speak again until 2013* after a bad dream. I emailed and we talked briefly. Generally we left on good terms buts Matt's thing is to throw shit out for the sake of conversation which he has no intention of fulfilling much like his behavior at CMDI. This is really said with no heat. I didn’t care I was emailing under a guise to assure he was fine. And I was already aware when emailing of Matts disability (this is meant in humor.) Emailing Matt was out the ordinary CMDI events happened years ago. Maybe a year to a year and a half later I had an unfortunate health situation which resulted in me emailing Raven. It was not a situation in which she should have been upset or offended. I did apologize to Raven for bothering her which she did not respond to although someone with any sense would say it wasn't necessary. The email or the health situation has absolutely no bearing in the case as that picture was up long before those emails. I’ve never had problems with Raven or any staff of CMDI. In fact before that email CMDI and I were on VERY good terms to my knowledge.  I did become aware of the our team profile in 2014 but I have been to CMDI’s site quite frequently due to needing the address or number. I initially thought 'nice pictures' and I glossed over Raven wearing a yellow jacket and pink lip gloss. I thought about and it clicked in my head that I wore gold and black to the Christmas party. Another not yellow was  worn two other times all marking important days with Matt. Not important to anyone else but if Matt and I were Married yellow would have been the color of our wedding. Yellow was worn on two other occasions with Matt.In terms of the suit Yellow would now be my favorite color. I’m thinking maybe I’m making a big deal of nothing but then it comes to my attention prominent songs by well-known artist have themselves portrayed  in yellow/ gold. I will name all of them but the most prominent one was we found love in a hopeless place by Rihanna. The song itself says yellow diamonds. I believe this song was released in 2011. FYI my real name rhymes exactly with Rihanna.  And obviously this bears no importance to people who have sense or who don’t have feelings for each other but it helps in proving that Raven is jealous. The other songs videos were Countdown by Beyonce. California King by Rihanna and Taylor Swifts Wildest Dreams. Wildest Dreams was made after the fact but everything else was before the CMDI picture profile page was created. There's also Princess Tianna and The Frog. The Disney movie where the main character was wearing goldish yellow in parts of the movie. This came out end of 2009 I Wasn’t exactly a huge fan but all in all making a point.  This list is not inclusive  so I don’t appear long winded or crazy. Anytime I hear a love song and I see yellow in the video I thought of Matt. Yellow is a keepsake for Matt and I. And If it came to my attention Im sure it came to Raven’s. It shouldn’t have but Raven has given you proof she was too interested in Matt and I’s business. Its Romantic. It’s a night of lovemaking on sight.  I’m just making a point. Raven get dudes who want to **** and Matt and I’s fantasy land is equal to he wants to make love on sight of me. Im not jealous. To show you whose jealous.  Obviously I’d agree without certain circumstances you can wear whatever color you wish to wear on ANY platform. It is not of my concern. But I feel very much disrespected by Raven and the entire CMDI staff. It implies they are behind her attempting to embarrass humiliate and steal something that shouldn’t have been stealable. I think Raven became jealous because the yellow identified me and I was first. Im sorry the only. Yellow is a pretty color but if I’m choosing a color to be everywhere its pale pink a sky blue. But LOVE REAL LOVE happens on chance by accident. I wore shirt with my husband and it became a time stamp a memory box.  So I’m assuming you choosing to wear yellow is. Teyonna is everywhere and or its romantic and or it should have been me and or it is me and bitch is tripping. Obviously these celebrities don’t know us. These songs were not made about us but there is such a thing as this is My song. Our song. Firstly yellow is not a professional color. It’s more of an Occasion color. Obviously some people have eccentric personalities but if were going with a business website and profile picture I’m not picking yellow.  It’s already a feat to find a shirt in yellow worth buying. But Raven has on a yellow suit Jacket.  And from what I can see it was not an entire suit just the jacket.  So either she went around in a professional setting looking like a rainbow which sadly I believe or she planned it. Yellow was a must. Not just a nice outfit for picture day.  . That’s equal to picking out shoes for a wedding dress.  And I also find it every hard to believe that one if Raven says it was a coincidence she didn’t remember five minutes later a day later. Teyonna yellow/Gold  Matt pink. Classic. And because Ravens has proven she’s a child someone else didn’t go. Teyonna Gold. Matt Pink. Classic. Hey remember when? Anyone who has a bf or a spouse should understand precisely where I'm coming from. Raven’s special. Rules and social standards don't apply to her but people better come correct when it comes to her. Brian  is Ravens boyfriend made up name BUT I cant use his real name. I want  Brian to make love to me with the same song he made love to Raven to and then I’m going to be riding in the car with Raven and say this anon and I’s favorite song. Wink.  And yall still dating. Oh ok. Matt confirming or not confirming he had feelings is neither here nor there. It’s dead. Teyonna and Matt are dead but you do not get to trample on memories fantasies or my identity and claim them as your own. Or to try and recreate Matts and Is wedding and just crop me out and then insert yourself.  To be quite honest I'm disappointed in life right now. I don't understand why you're jealous of someone else's first dance at their wedding. I want to get married is normal. Not I want to slow dance with her husband to this exact song when she sits down and have him come to my hotel room for their honeymoon not his wife. It’s really batshit. Backwards. Screams child who was not taught vital things. Class and common sense are priceless and unteachable. It’s disrespectful on so many levels. She’s calling my name trying to gets Matt’s attention. And CMDI and or Raven and or Matt call themselves getting mad when I respond to my name being called. Seriously someone with any sense should have said pick another color. What makes this worse Raven is a silly broad by herself but Matt returned to CMDI in 2015 and entertained the silly broad. Gave life to the sick fantasy in her head. This was news in 2014. Now I'm calmer and care less but while I'm aware Raven has everyone in her pocket she needs an asswhooping. Note I tried to pg this complaint Asswhooping Is the only word that works. Shrug. I tried.  Long overdue and withheld by people claiming to love her. Is sad. Is a grown adult and either she put words in everyone's mouth or they agree and this is a muti cultural unbiased equal opportunity ass whooping. I’d be embarrassed really as professionals. You have now taken Teyonna and Matt. Husband and wife and turned it into Teyonna Matt and Ravens first dance at their wedding. Husband wife and Side chick ...oops no.. And jealous B with a platform she shouldn't have had. And that's being Nice its equal to it was Teyonna and Matts wedding and someone locked me in a closet before taking my dress off and putting it on Raven. Fuck Teyonna really. I’d be very interested to know whose idea it was to create the picture profile. I'd believe the men who were there that they forgot but I’m not believing any female there if they are saying they forget and its unrelated. Especially since the office manager Susan Floyd and the caging manager Raven Scott are related. Mother and daughter. And both are equal to first line family to Bruce Pechaceck meaning they kiss each other’s ass. Bruce is COO. Matt is in that family favorite clique with CMDI so I’d be surprised no I’m sorry I wouldn't believe that Ravens color choice was a coincidence. And  Teyonnas not jealous because Teyonna was in that family favorite clique with CMDI as well. I’ve already worked there twice and was offered a third time. The answer was no but it just makes you scratch your head as these people’s behavior. If I have not clarified Raven was wearing a yellow jacket and pink lip gloss in the CMDI picture profile. I find it irritating that I have to make a messy situation (not of my doing) even messier due to negligence and lack of professionalism. I am a business professional and clearly understand the boundaries between personal and business interactions. And definitely the difference between a business platform and a Facebook profile. That is something CMDI has not clearly and adequately distinguished. The last I saw of the picture profile was the end of 2016. I check today April 02, 2017 and they have changed outfits. Raven is now in black smiling sheepishly. It's not enough. I feel as though they owe me damages. They do owe me damages. I don't find anything funny and for people to make all that money they are not that Bright. You cannot erase implications or fucking emotional rape. I am not and have never been jealous of Raven for obvious reasons. I don't fight over men excuse me boys and  I  dont create messy scenes or situations with companies I’ve worked for. Really.  I will take your money but I didn’t want it. How much does common sense cost these days?  Really? Sadly she has successfully removed my feelings for MATT. Teyonna doesn’t do hoodrats doesn’t do messy scenes or anything of this sort. When I have to sue firstly a Company for involving itself in their employees lives and then I can’t get god fearing conservative WHITE men to act according to what they’ve supposedly been taught and what they’ve been packaged as. RESPECT  COMMON SENSE and the LAW are FREE default settings that should come with every human being you owe me your company. Noone’s asking for your right arm. Pinky Promise. Good people. Right Thing to do. Respect. Much like I Respect everyone and people expect it back.  Matts equal to a fucking pedophile and Raven is equal to his daughter. Before people start lookin for things to sue me for it’s a metaphor. Raven’s a child copying her mother. Does not understand she cant fuck her father. Will not be fucking her father. And she will laugh like it’s cute and funny. Jail time is not funny. Neither is being responsible for a WHOLE company coming to ruin. Adults have consciences and receptor as to cause and affect Raven and Matt do not. Im seriously starting to believe two are slow. It’s not just anger talking but they behave in a way that doesn’t make sense to MOST people.  End of Discussion. It’s not a jealousy thing. You can’t tell these people anything. Their behavior implies they believe they are right and they THINK I’m wrong. Raven is a nevermind. I wasn’t jealous for a reason. But when you have these so called men who run things and get paid and are respected and they behave like this it’s a fucking mind sweep. She’s trash. That’s the WORLD? really?  These are MEN? SMFH Raven is now wearing black in the picture profile which was supposed to be a concede I’m guessing but it’s still rubbing me the wrong way. I will admit I no longer trust CMDI for good reason. And they now have a reason to be upset but this is after provocation by Raven. Black is a universal color that can be worn for any occasion but because she tripped the cord with her thighs she is now responsible for the tv falling and the damage to the socket. It was very avoidable and considering what has happened they didn’t pay it the proper respect it deserves. It was blatant retaliation for Raven being jealous. Im not calling it a concede any longer. It’s a small possibility but it’s a bigger possibility that it was done to mimic or erase me. Because I did wear yellow and black to the Christmas party. I also wore an all black dress to the Christmas part in 2007. Matt and I took a picture together and we flirted the whole night. Matt and I have had a few outings outside of work which notate or place importance on colors or events. I’m already aware Raven thinks she lives in a no consequences world probably due to the fantasy land CMDI has created for her. I have direct proof of this FYI. But CMDI staff is also certifying they agree by what appears to be conspiracy. I have a very valid reason to be upset and you not acknowledging it with the respect it deserves after what appears to be intentional emotional distress and also what appears to be a 'bitch and' attitude. The fact it was possible at all is you may not have the right people working for you. Retaliation screams CMDI’s success is magic or John Simms , someone I  have not met, is the  total brains behind the operation. I’m aware Bruce’s authority who is supposed to be the next disciplining voice in the business is diluted compromised unprofessional and untrustworthy in terms of separating his professional responsibility with his personal responsibility. But side note I’d hope if you're calling people friends that you never have to exert yourself in a compromising situation that places doubt on your morals or Christian beliefs. But that’s just me. Right is right and wrong and wrong.  I dont care who you are. It shows that CMDI staff and its leadership is too personally involved in the personal life and affairs of particular people especially Raven and Ms. Susan. I never made Matt and I’s thing or not thing public. Of course if you had eyes and ears you might pick it up if you stayed long enough. But being an adult and having a job automatically certifies you understand what personal and professional life means and that the two must be differentiated. That is obviously not the case with CMDI. They created a vendetta based off what was equal to me loving my husband. This is a loose metaphor to make a point. You can call it whatever you like because quite frankly Matts feelings on me is not the reason for this case. So I pondered over this because I am a business professional and I’m aware of how all messy this is. Raven is messy and me responding, If CMDI was not aware of Raven’s intentions, turns me into Raven in reverse and never that. Never in this life am I and Raven comparable. But I'm nearly certain it’s not as coincidental as people would like me to believe. I start veering in the I dont give a fuck avenue and it accelerates the speed at which this is presented to you. I don’t do disrespect very well especially by people I called myself liking and trusting. I don’t allow people to put words in my mouth or fucking allow people to fucking disrespect me. I’ve never been jealous of Raven.  That includes April 06, 2017 at 1:25 p.m. which is what time it is right now. That’s hand on the bible. Even while heavy I never saw anything that anyone hasn’t already had. I was a virgin then and I am a virgin now. Raven walked around with her too short dresses and much like her personality screams cheap whore who doesn’t understand there is a life outside of her vagina. I don’t know of Matt's feelings on anything.  And at this point it shouldn't have mattered. I sent him an email about a while ago and while unrelated to anything he didn’t respond. I agree what happened years ago is personal his feelings or not feelings his secret him responding to my email is a gift. But me not suing is also a gift. One I am choosing not to give. But of course all this is IF he’s claiming complete ignorance to Raven and CMDI’s intentions.  But I do have to assume based off past and recent events that he is siding with them or shunning me for sake of them. And again this suit has nothing to do with Matt’s feelings for me. But it would appear that Matt came back to cause intentional emotional distress in comparison to it was just a job in a time of need. And the video he created while working at his previous job doesn’t exactly help Raven’s or his case.  I negate Matts feelings because they really are not the reason for the case and two Matt has proven where his loyalties lie and his protectiveness his feelings his Game whatever you want to call it will turn into disgust and he will exaggerate negative feelings to protect CMDI and because he thinks it will affect me. So we can safely remove his feelings. What he thinks. I do not give a flying fuck. I am going to take your money and give two shits about what he feels thinks or believes I truly don’t care. Me calling your name all these years later is MONEY. I DID NOT CARE. TRULY DID NOT and the last email I sent to Matt was goodbye forever. He has no idea. But I don’t care. That email wouldn’t even have been sent if things hadn’t happened causing me to worry. Yall are just messy to the point yall in my kitchen using YOUR pots and pans and leaving them in my SINK. I DON’T KNOW YOU firstly breaking and entering then disorderly conduct. And because im dealing with hoodrats ASSAULT CHARGES. OoH ATTEMPTED MURDER.  BECAUSE I Defended myself. No I DON’T know you. Lets keep it that way. Ooh lets not forget trespassing.  I did not invite you anywhere and you all in my house. Let’s not forget the most important part. You look crazy. Batshit Insane. You have your own kitchen where you could have used your own pots and pans and it would have been legal. SMFH. I will never understand still don’t. Going to jail. And you owe me money. Brand new House. Damaged property but is a bad memory and I just moved here was in love with the neighborhood. I need to move. Out of myself I need to move. That’s your fucking life.  So we are clear. You wearing MY color like we talked about it. And sweetheart is it MY color. You’re owning matt was mine cause you wearing my color.  Your color is an ugly electric green. Attached to nothing but a fading company and memories of hay days. You were not given permission. The equation is company website to steal my husband which caused me and my husband to  divorce and whom I  now secretly hate.  Same Difference. I really need people to look at their thirsty desperate messy whores then the low lives they work for and then themselves in the mirror before attempting to tell me ANYTHING. Ooh and then themselves. You look fucking batshit. Honestly.  You claim you want to be left alone. Somehow I'm the problem. But you’re fucking attached at the hip to drama.  Delusional. Really. Record yourself saying one plus one equals three. Say it confidently. Nope still incorrect. She opened her legs on a platform screaming my name. She’s jealous. Matt came running. Firstly ewww. The fact that she pretty much took all her clothes off on a business platform to get her desired results is already like damn do you have ANY standards. Secondly I’d be embarrassed no humiliated that I’m at the center of drama with my job because I don’t know what a whore is or how to shut the whore down. But above all not to use business websites for personal vendettas. And me using the word vendetta is me accidentally covering for her. She was mad by herself in her head. Why do I know about any of it? Exactly. Unprofessional messy whores.  Raven did not exist to me after the six months I left in 2009 and that was only due to the fact that we were for a brief time friends on twitter or was it facebook?  I’m not looking Raven Scott up for ANYTHING and I do mean ANYTHING. A reference. That’s an email at most. It appears like she wanted to make sure Matt and or I saw it. I really have no idea when the picture profile was created and why... I have no stake anywhere. But you both are saying you will suffer for it but you trying to skip out on the suffering you handing out and think shouldn't come back to you. It always comes back around. And before people try to turn this into something it’s not.  I don’t care what anyone says if the situation is reversed and Matt and I both leave and I return to CMDI after someone he has a business relationship with and likes to some degree on some level gets on a platform wearing pink and I return to CMDI after this picture goes up and AFTER I have shunned Matt.  And I have turned it into an US against you thing when the platonic friend guy was jealous and TURNED me against you because he’s JEALOUS created a situation to see who’s the winner and got the normal desired reaction out of you and I used it to disown or turn you into the enemy. You’re angry.  You are.   Didn’t do shit. But moving along.  Someone also needs to tell CMDI if for some reason they are paranoid and they read too much into WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS place and decided Teyonna is the enemy. It’s a song unrelated to real life events.  Matt left as well.  That would mean you should be upset with both.  You’d still certify as crazy but then you’re crazy has logic. It’s called jealousy. You welcomed Matt back with open arms with the condition he shun me and obviously I’m making a general point in a roundabout metaphor. I have no proof this has happened.  I had no problems with CMDI or Raven or Matt till 2014.  I am not the problem. And please don’t mistake me I don’t care of CMDI feelings on me. I don’t want to work there. Don’t want to be friends. I no longer care of Matt's feelings of me. We can never speak again but you won’t disrespect me. You will not be throwing me away in a trash can in Timbuktu too after you THINK or call yourself using me. This suit makes It looks very much the other way around. And Everyone knows it was me and without 2014s events and you being the desperate messy whore you are. Had things gone differently the way Life should have gone for a young  twenty something youre an after thought. You still are. It was just eating Raven alive at what you thought Matt and I were doing. Fucking. Making love under the moonlight. Creating babies. Dancing under the moonlight. Forgetting Raven exist. The way it should have been. Bitch you’re sick. It’s none of your business. I truly do not believe it was a jealous because I have feelings for Matt kind of thing. I think it’s a someone I don’t deem better then me or someone I didn’t SEE shitting on me. Did two bowel movements then came back with fucking diaherrea. Yes you sat under my toilet. I didn’t put you there. You put yourself there. Jealous. End of discussion. That’s what I believe. I just wish better people were around. People like you needed to go to our wedding and sit at the front. Sick and sad human beings.  I am still a young twenty something. It’s unfortunate Matts not smart enough to mentally trash you and ignore your sad attempt to gain leverage in a world that’s more than a title and a skin color. Yes I know Raven falls in that press to be light category. How did you get your title? Still a caging manager ten years later boo? SMFH. Did they give you salary? Cover you’re LONG lunch breaks. It’s very sad that these people became so enthralled in my life they decide their freedom and their checks was worth attempting to ruin my life. I’m too busy living my life to be worried about other people. I was in love once. Blissfully happy and wanted the same for other people. But severely disinterested in other people’s life and definitely in their suffering. People need to ask themselves WHY am I so dissatisfied with life and why do I enjoy seeing the suffering of others? Unfulfilled people looking for validation or a moment of satisfaction that someone else is suffering. Someone I know is suffering. Its sad. I am hesitant to add this because it has no basis in reality except that I presume I can safely assume if this song summoned a memory it must have done the same for Matt and Raven. I am referring to Dance for You by Beyoncé.  While at the Christmas party in 2008 there was a part in the night where me and a few other women did a line dance to Cupid Shuffle.  It was purely for enjoyment nothing more but Obviously Dance for you sparked that memory for me. It’s romantic In nature. When I saw the video the first time I didn't automatically think of Raven but upon viewing it a few more times. I did start to notice the short silky red dress and I was wearing a two piece dress. So the implications did obviously come to my attention after views of the video. I can’t do anything more than guess but I’ve met Raven. I would not be surprised if she saw that video and made it true and then turned me into the enemy because she’s jealous. Or because she has somehow convinced herself Matt has feelings for her or she has now created some fantasy  that I have nothing to do with. Again. I don't have proof of this. I just know she is a Beyonce fan and this video sparked a memory for me.  Raven likes black men. And while this has no basis in anything. Making a point. Raven had a boyfriend while I was working there his name will be removed from the complaint. Fyi was all through it previously. Would like not to get sued. I just presume she lost her fucking mind when she BELIEVED Matt returned feelings.  And he did leave. Did. returned what 6 years later implying CMDI and her was an afterthought. But moving along. Raven Is press. Is of the SLAVE variety. The fleshlight variety. No brains sense or any kind of direction or morales. Her facebook profile proves this. Once again skirt was WAY Too short and she had about 10 guys commenting. Probably slept with half. Just guessing. Estimating UP. Me having to file a suit with a company and then a company I worked for doesn’t sit well with me but some things are necessary to make points. I obviously don’t like doing things on this grand a scale without voice recordings and Raven watching the videos then asking to create the profile then wearing yellow but some things are I see smoke there must be a fire. . I understand why Raven is jealous of me. Her job was given to her and all the jobs I’ve gotten I’ve gotten on my own accord based off my OWN capabilities and intelligence. Salaried positions, business trips and Mortons. That is all. Noone is jealous. Raven on the other hand has mommy and daddy to spoon feed her while she simultaneously feels better then people and claims to be running shit. And she didn’t do that well. Everyone knows Raven should not have been there long enough for this suit to be possible. Should not have been there to be on a website wearing yellow. There were two fire worthy events when I was working there and its not an exaggeration. She is running shit, the brown shit in her underwear. That be about it. It’s really not cute. Raven’s and Matt’s paycheck is equal to someone dropped 300 dollars every day and they picked it up. That means its free money and someone suffered behind you. How is anyone opening their mouth to say ANYTHING. It really blows my mind. Me having to sue is fucking Raven Matt and CMDI is trying to imply I’m inferior or that Teyonna even competes with fucking trash cans both are WHO is going to pay me to listen to you open your mouth and utter BS. It truly is a suit how these females walk around with diapers on believing they first are morally or emotionally intelligent enough to be in a position of power but then that they are better than people. And she calls herself stealing shit that she needs fucking ladders to reach. No mam. Go get the Damn ladder that weighs three times as much as you. Kids. Its irritating. Why do I have to take on the MOTHER tone with people who are OLDER than me? And her mother sitting in HER face. They need to start making common sense and church a requirement to have a job. It directly correlates. I'm suing you. You did something extraordinary inappropriate on job hours and its fucking one in a billion. And Sadly Raven will go around believing its somehow cool or  a compliment. There are pedophiles serial killers deranged people in jail. You don’t want to go. It’s not cool. CMDI  Bruce and Matt has lulled her to sleep in la la land. It’s a crime and Bruce happens to be attractive but it’s not sexy. I was already aware you were trash I just have proof now. It's called personality. Read it. Saw it. Didn’t see anything.   What irritates me is these men are spending money for WHORES and chicks that aint worth shit. It  ANNOYS the fuck out of me. SHES jealous for a reason. She’s owning SHES inferior and yet YOU cant see it. Not that CMDIS or Matt's opinion matters anymore but the bitch is worth shit. ZILCH. You won’t put words in my mouth. You CANT turn my life into shit because one she’s jealous and two you are trying to make us equal or make me lesser than Raven. No sir. Her only bargaining TOOL is you. So when and if she takes THAT. The problem is still NOT me. So you make yourself inferior. AMAZING. Matt is owning he is shit too. Dudes blow my fucking MIND. Like what they did is we are both trash cans. Messing with Raven in any way is owning we are trashcans. Raven is equal to my sister in terms of damages. But what they are doing is Teyonna in so many words is saying alright have it your way. I'm done. Forget my name. Ravens fantasy is to see Teyonna suffer for the simple reason she is jealous and I GOT fucking GOD to turn on her. It’s not a compliment but Raven will smile all wide like Im the shit and you are the shit just not like how you think. No mam not in my book not in my life. That is the devils work and people need to stop decorating and feeding it.  In another life this is a crime. I Take that back. IS a crime. Please keep reading. You are going out your way to make my life miserable because Ravens fantasy is that she is better than Teyonna. And her way of having proof is to take her ONLY entrance in my life and use it to embarrass hurt and humiliate me. And Teyonna is neither when people become the opposite of how they represent themselves you’re opinion becomes shit. Otherwise Teyonna doesn't care Raven exist or is even breathing. I came to CMDI’s website where business is conducted not Raven's facebook profile where she creates her own little fantasy world which Teyonna knows nothing about but needs me to see it   because she wants my HUSBAND and the only way to do that is to kill me.  She is going to cover for herself and Matt. And make me out to be the problem. Problem. I'm still alive whore. CHECK THE resume. The fact that I ever wanted Matt would imply Teyonna’s stupid. I give you that. But other than that  you and I aren't comparable you turned criminal for something I got easily. Free.  Excuse me looks like someone owes me money. It would then be someone paid me to be in MATTS face. HILARIOUS really.  There's a name for women like Raven. Whores they don't have any redeeming outstanding or noteworthy qualities outside their vagina. they use sex as a means to get their way. They Use manipulate and downgrade weak morally compromised and insecure validation seeking boys as bargaining chips. It’s fucking sad. Precisely how God and the bible become fucking long forgotten nursery rhymes. And men will stomp around throwing out unimportant unrelated information attractiveness level boob size blah se. Look up aids and get back to me. Now you get it. Can I see your face? I want to see it. Whores have no or very low thresholds for unsavory unmoral behavior.  I will get upset when Bruce looks his wife in her face and say RAVEN is worth more than she is. He's going to jail for her NO MAM. Might certify Bruce needs help but I doubt you putting them kind of words in his mouth. Silly BROAD. SMFH. Something is wrong with people. Like seriously something is irreversibly wrong. Your mother should pay you not to mention she raised you. Fucking SAD. She wants to have proof she won and is better.  It’s just not true. Firstly we aren't competing. I don't see ANYTHING. Competing with you on any level brings me down 10 points. But just for fun I WON.  I left. He left. We left.  Together. You putting on yellow AFTER the fact is someone prophesied the world was coming to  an end before it happened and Raven is on the fucking ARK wearing the same colors the dude wore when he said the world was coming to the end. Raven and Matt have now decided they prophecy-ed it and the dude that DID he cant come in the ARK. He built the ARK cant come in. Matt and Raven Swearing he is the devil.  It’s why you owe me money. This is a metaphor for people of lower intelligence or people who go on witch hunts. Just to end the conversation before it starts. Fate. Destiny. All the romantic stuff  people believe when they have feelings for other people. I love the females wearing black in the picture profile. EXCITED! Want to take Teyonna’s place. Bitch I'm selling it. After they get out of jail. No mam. I could get press. I could. Only little girls compete. They don't have self-value or worth to make rules. Let a fucking criminal decide. Never in this life. Woman OWN things. Hoes. Whores. interchangeable. Not worth anything. Free. You see how he sacrificed the stupid hoes and he has to be INVESTIGATED. I'm more than sure he’s pulling strings but you're in? you’re in. SIlLY BROADS. Really. Youre in the middle of bullshit for TRASH. ITS not jealousy talking that left 2015. THIS IS RAGE. I DONT FUCKING SEE ANYTHING. SILLY WHORES. That be about it.  Slaves. Who open their legs and mouths even sell their soul because trash walked in. I have a dumpster for you. Fuck no. So did Bruce sign up to Give Matt a job a free check just so he could pay me money? Not that I give a fuck. I know he’s excited. But then who knows last I thought I could have sworn Bruce was VP. I could be incorrect. But COO did catch my attention in 2014. Not in relation to anything just that I thought he was VP. But that is the entirety of my complaint. Let me GIVE dumb ass a list of CORRECT can’t touch Matt answers. I’m sorry I watched the video again and this list is a lie. Owed me money in 2015.  Pissed me off all over again. But generally making a point. Some people have GOOD PARENTS. GOOD HOME TRAINING. Lost your fucking MIND. Does not return to CMDI Disowns BOTH Raven CMDI and Teyonna. That was years ago HAD  nothing to do with CMDI's intentions. Hope everything is alright with Teyonna. We use to be married and all. Just expected concern. Returns to CMDI takes Teyonna out to eat for 20 dollars was all just a big misunderstanding. This is presuming Matt acted with any sense and enjoyment of living. Hmm 20 DOLLARS 20 MILLION. Your parents FAILED life. smfh The one I love. RESPONDS to the email I sent that was probably stupid on my part considering Raven's a SILLY whore and you took her side. But ECLIPSE. You MISSED IT. YOU did.  FREE. lMAO. It’s a wrap. I mean Matt acted so opposite of what makes sense that when he says angry he means excited. You can’t claim anything when you side with the person who created the problem. Your argument becomes null and void. You like it. You wanted this to happen. Dreaming about it.  If Matts claiming Hurt it implies that you have enough feelings for that person that they can hurt you. Mad implies you have a reason to be upset NEITHER are true. Me even attempting to contact you when you are in the wrong is fucking crazy on my end. But there is nothing I can say for a reason. Me trying to apologize or to try and get you to understand was pointless. The fact that I’m apologizing at all implies you made me feel like one was necessary that in itself if you deserve a jail cell. But You’re not mad or hurt you want to see me suffer for having feelings for you. It’s not sane behavior. It’s not a rational thought. You are probably racist and probably have a personality disorder. It has nothing to do with me.  In fact I’m pretty sure that PJTV’s staff and CMDI’S staff doesn’t understand what feelings are. There is an illness that describes it precisely. The fact that Bruce is listed among the people that should be arrested pisses me off because he blankets the 200 ft fall and the gun at the bottom that should accompany a suit for fucking one plus one equals 2. If I get told I’m involved in a suit at work I’m walking in front of a bus at lunch. What people do is sacrifice themselves for wild animals and it’s precisely why Raven and Matt don’t fully comprehend what consequences are. Not only that they give these people titles and authority. They build walls around these people and sign people up to suffer for them. You’re not putting those kind of words in my mouth let alone anyone else’s. I’m better than them. The fact that you tried it is spit tin your face.  The fact that Bruce hired him after that video with PJTV is Bruce shouldn’t have had a job.  It should have been we hired that clown EVER let alone AGAIN. And what could have TRUMPED IT all. Bruce. We got knuckle heads working here. Teyonnas words. TRASH. We owe you some money. Oh maybe it shouldnt have been possible at all? But Maybe Bruce is just a tad upset came to his senses. Teyonna responds and says. Nope dont want your money. Just fire the ass whole. Fwds Matt the email. You heard the GIRL.  Cool ass chick.  End of DISCUSSION. Problem solved.  You owe me Money, Now. There are NO DISCUSSIONS. There is no BARGAINING. Stop hiring and building was around fucking ANIMALS. All dressed up smelling of garbage its disgusting and sickening. I’m going to spend the rest of my life washing matt off. You owe me for that alone. I’m washing up with fucking trash. Trash. Cmdi told me it was soap. You owe me fucking money. Disgusted and fucking disturbed. Stay the fuck away from ne. END OF DISCUSSION. Relief State briefly and precisely what damages or other relief the plaintiff ask the court to order. DO not make legal arguments. Include any basis for claiming that the wrongs alleged are continuing at the present time. Include the amounts of any actual damages claimed for the acts alleged and the basis for the present time. Include any punitive or exemplary damages claimed, the amounts, and the reasons you claim you are entitled to actual or punitive money damages. For any request for the injunctive relief, explain why monetary damages at a later time would not adequately compensate you for the injuries you sustained, are sustaining, or will sustain as a result of the events described above, or why such compensation could not be measured. Should I find out ANY COMMUNICATION IVE SENT TO MATT ESPECIALLY ANY OF A PERSONAL NATURE HAS BEEN SENT REVIEWED OR DISCUSSED WITH Raven add 50 MILLION Not even because of what the email contained. Two are incredibly disrespectful.  I’m more adult mature and adult than two and it would have been purposefully done. Matt was not taught properly how to be a man. Or  how to fucking take his next breathe without a fucking breathing machine. Neither can fucking touch me and the fact that you are trying to ACT like you need to separate yourself from drama or like you need to cut people off.    IM paying for Matts father not teaching Matt how to be A MAN. THAT’S THE FUCKING problem in a nutshell.  Can I sue his fucking PARENTS for not telling people when they meet him SOMETHING IS IREEEVERSIBLY WRONG. NO REALLY. CAN I SUE THEM NEXT. I HAVE FUCKING MONEY.  Whose in the middle of SUIT YOU ARE. YOU FUCKING ARE NOT ME. LETS GO back and see WHO offered ME a job upon asking for a reference what MONTHS before the email. Exactly. If I was the kind of classless trashy hoodrat that Raven is who uses people I might have said yes and the new guy the sexy dude might have been Matts Replacement. A joke I don’t do work romances. But in another life. I need a pic of me sitting on his lap. Trying to run Matt off. Make him wear pink. Cant come back. Make fun of Matt on our off time. Tell the 25 how Matt was a seat warmer for the big boys. Lmao. And Back, Scene. I am requesting 25 million in damages plus attorney, Post Office and court fees. I am willing to bargain with that amount for the following considerations. Should Raven Scott and Matthew Orr decide they would like to pursue or maintain a platonic relationship (ie--friends) damages will be 35 million automatically.---Update Requesting Raven and Matt not be allowed to have any contact of ANY kind in the future. Should the list sent to them have been sent around add 100 million. They were told to delete this list two years ago and I was told the list was deleted. Should Raven Scott and Matthew Orr get less than 15 years in prison (with considerations 15 years with considerations 25) damages become 75 million automatically.  I prefer and recommend 30 years. Should somehow by the devils work Raven and Matt evade Jail time Damages become 700 Million. This is highly unfavorable. I want jail time with a finding of GUILT. Should one or more of these coincide the damages become 50 million with the exclusion of Marriage. Automatically. Should an investigation show things I am not aware of 10-20 million may be added to damages. I do feel like the investigation should include events between the dates of April 2014 and Dec 2014 and  March 2015 and Dec 2015. Should it be brought to my attention that Matt and Raven are in a romantic and or sexual relationship in the future the damages will become 50 million. 65 million if they were in a past relationship or currently are in a relationship. An investigation would not be necessary at that point it’s obvious Raven did what she did purposefully and did it to get a reaction out of me so that she could cover for herself and Matt.  But Matt shouldn't have needed a cover.  abcs and two way streets.  In another life. I would have taken you up on that two street. Teyonna has self-respect though.  WINK. Looks better BETTER TOO. And ABOVE ALL. good men and men with brains kills whores on site for a reason. You just downgraded yourself. Ewww. Common sense. you owe me for the sinking feeling when broad is a whore and I'm not jealous of her. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT ELSE IS FOR SALE RAVEN. Raven has PROVEN  her vagina and self-worth IS RAVEN WILL pay you to use her. Probably been used a billion. Times. Ewww my brains needs a Clorox wipe. Disgust for two.  I will waive penalties for ONE person offering up information for the investigation. In Particular Matts and Ravens relationship should they not be honest or forthcoming. Should Matt Show any signs of protectiveness or feelings of Raven in any communications or in my presence or even as a Matt said by someone else add 20 million.  This is mandated.  I’d prefer not to see either again. I'm here because two people decided to be reckless worthless trashcans and CMDI and PJTV gave them platforms.  They both need to be supervised and they are fucking adults. Obviously it will come to your attention this has been edited and I have already made  clear that Matthew Orr Breached one RELIEF purposefully shamelessly and obnoxiously. This whole COMPLAINT is ALREADY more explanatory and understanding than ANY of you deserve. The fact that we have MATTS walking around in business causal clothing carrying a concealed weapon (His white skin) is SICEKNING. Have proof. I am not just making this stuff up. The fact that we have LAW and POLICE OFFICERS in place to protect criminals is fucking we don’t have a justice or criminal system. Heads up Im a female. Is suppose to come first in EXTREME situations.  Just saying.  And never did I think I would ever be here with these people in this MANNER. I FEEL LIKE THIS suit should be made public even at my EXPENSE for the sole FACT MATTHEW ORR is a fucking deadly weapon with a silencer. And it’s sold in the fucking kids sections. Matt’s a baby bomber. No matter what Raven has or has not done MATT gave her life.  THIS suit IS matt. CMDI AND PJTV put bullets in him and he fired.  Those are two companies. Things I’ve been taught are equal to churches in terms of behavior. IT’S sickening. I CANT SAY IT ENOUGH. DO HIS PARENTS FEEL SHAME. GUILT. They should. You made CAKE without the eggs PURPOSEFULLY. HE thinks he is NORMAL. HES NOT SORRY. Part of my identity is that EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS the law and the bible and even when we are in Russia everyone knows the bible and the LAW. Especially people I have given entrance into my life. They know those two things like the back of their hand. Practice it. Are examples of it. Disgusted. And in case I can’t get through to HIM--- going to jail or giving me an exorbitant amount of money answers for you. You are wrong. It wasn’t worth it. You’re not sane. It’s not legal. It shouldn’t have been possible. You acted incredibly inappropriate and if you don’t give two cents about me how about your freedom your reputation and YOUR identity. SICK. All I have to say.  The means doesn’t justify the end. YOUR PARENTS FAILED. YOU FAILED.   Should Matt disclose or already has disclosed information he has come to know either by our interactions at CMDI or  that he has come to know by extenuating circumstances add 20 million. Should CMDI and its constituents. This includes Matt and Raven use this suit as a utensil for further damage to my reputation this means private chats and or conversation or acts that I cannot see but happened on company property or between people via any form of communication that work for CMDI add 25 million. In fact offering free of penalty and or money for people who speak of behavior directly after receiving the complaint. PJTV remove video and print an apology. Via video or print media. Should both (Raven Scott or Matthew Orr) decide to leave CMDI in a form of retaliation damages become 50 million automatically. Should Raven and Matt or any constituent of CMDI  and Matt choose to pursue a romantic relationship or Raven and Matt decide they'd like to get married or that it may be an option in the future 60 million automatically. See Relief 1. Matt Change his whole name. Will deduct. 1.00  Mandatory. Maybe  Denise ASSBOY. (take off 10 percent of jail time) (Preferable and Highly Recommended) I will deduct 3 million for the immediate firing of Raven Scott. No severance package. No References (Preferable and highly recommended) OR I will deduct 1 million for the dismissal of Matthew Orr. No Severance pay No References I will deduct 500,000 to be present at the dismissal and a song of my choice be played while she exits. I will deduct 100,000 for Matt to adlib to that song. I will deduct 300,000 for an admission of GUILT from Raven I will deduct 600, 000 for an admission of GUILT from CMDI and Raven. And deduct 30 percent of Jail time for Bruce Pechacek. I will deduct 500,000 and/or 2 percent of jail time to physically hog luey spit in MATTS FACE while all of CMDI watches and police are present    Dead Serious My name real or imagined should not be passed around or given to people unless it Is on a mandatory need to know basis. Like a hired lawyer. Add 10 million if Raven sent the list around and its not deleted when 2 years ago it was requested it be deleted. Requesting Raven DESTROY the list along with send her rceipients a letter I will type. And Add her name to. Adding monetary damages for GOOGLE AND HP acting criminally on CMDIS behalf I have IC3 report detailing criminal activity on my computer. If any part of my complaint is missing it will be redrafted and sent to the courts. I am resending shit to cmdi OR Paying over and over again to have them served. Things disappear from my complaint and it’s been saved. I am pursuing criminal charges and a civil suit against HP and Gmail when I have time. Due to the criminal nature of this situation I  am requesting  these considerations still be provided without deductions as previously requested.  They should be automatically included as PROOF of the company’s guilt and repentance by both CMDI and or Raven. The only consideration that will be VALID with an investigation and jail time is the admission of guilt and the last three considerations. . I'm gamed. I'll buy THE napkins. OOPS want BRUCE to buy them. And buy Matt a bib. Pink.  Deduct 100,000 and/or 1 percent of jail time.  I am looking to file criminal charges and or an investigation be done along with a suit for financial damages.  Among the charges I am looking to pursue is conspiracy, cybercrime—to include criminal harassment and cyber bullying  with the intention to cause mental and emotional distress and harm, and lastly possibly Attempted Murder. I am seeking criminal charges for Raven Scott, Matthew Orr and Bruce Pechacek and the people involved in the making of  the PJTV and the creators of the video. àLet me expound on the video. I sent Matthew Orr an email after I read tweets that I am nearly certain were related to the email I sent Raven an email as a manager at CMDI should not have been spread around no matter what it contained. Secondly if you are assuming the email is concerning in nature. Teyonna whats wrong? and you dont email me and say hey what’s going on? BUT you send it to other people close to me or people you know will cause emotional distress and then you complain to Matt about the emails. But you are not emailing or contacting me. You cannot complain about being emailed but then dont tell me you'd rather not be contacted.  I’m assuming based off the tweets in Matts profile someone was complaining.  And Matt was insulting in nature to me about it on twitter.  Which is when I emailed his job and said if the tweets dont stop Im suing. I felt bad a few weeks later and apologized because one I was not certain he had contact with CMDI but I was nearly certain and secondly I wasn’t sure if his twitter was officially work related. Or if he just added his job on his own accord.  . Matt put his picture up to try and cover for Raven. He wanted a reaction out of me so he could cover for her. He never received an email. So much for that.  Matt was not contacted. Raven wants the emails to continue so that she can embarrass me.  Matt calls himself being irritated but RAVEN told you things you should not have known. So if you are angry it should be with HER. Not that I care of your feelings. The video shows how reckless you are. The fact that you created a video to tell the whole world something of a personal nature and to attempt to humiliate me is fucking you owe me your life. That's a job. A business plaform. People need to look up the definition of professional. And FYI I'm certain none have the authority or track record to be commenting or for it to have any VALIDITY on why they are shunning marriage. Who gives a fuck why unsavory characters and criminals are shunning marriage?  Jail Cell so the next chick can skip the fucking embarrassment.  Overdressed criminals. And they have platforms.   Can women add why THEY are shunning marriage? EXACT PROOF. DISGUST. Had it. And I do mean a weird email. Turned it on themselves. Hilarious.  See what happens when PARENTS FAIL.   YOUR next video when you get out of JAIL. SAY nothing. Your best option that qualifies you as a good person. Is my wife okay? Raven sit you’re ho ass down. FAIL TWICE. Please don’t send me emails that have nothing to do with me especially when you got them because you work somewhere.  Excuse me babysit somewhere. EXAMINE YOUR FUCKING BRAIN AND get back to me. SLOW crazy and worth my cycle wipes. SMH   FUCKING DISGUSTING. Just add Ravens name when the guy underhandedly tapped Raven by asking who would you marry?   Come clean. I'm adding 20 million. You've really lost your mind.  And they are taking Shots like they know me at all. Ooh and I love this My boards while accidently exposed publicly. Negates your ENTIRE existence. CRIMINALS. Not talking to me. Kill yourself. Disgusted. I don’t see shit. Old ass ------- WHO know SHIT. Close your fucking MOUTH. Sitting with someone who knows of me and should understand precisely what happened and why.  So what disease does MATT and his constituents have. I have to sue you. Either you're a criminal fit for a jail cell or you're batshit crazy. Probably both.  Raven and Matt and CMDI need to learn there are consequences to ACTIONS. There really Are. Im sorry people have been setting you up  to believe there are not BUT THERE most certainly are CONSEQUENCES fucking with me and my LIFE. They set you ALL the way the FUCK UP. IM not letting SHIT GO.  YOU have me all the way FUCKED UP.  FUCKING SAD. FUCKING WHY. FUCKING WHY. DISGUSTED. See what jealousy DOES. I don’t give a fuck if the whole world surrounds you.  YOU ARE FUCKING TRASH. SHIT PAPER. SCOTT. Stop PLAYING WITH ME WHORE. See why we are still having a discussion. I DO NOT WANT TO BE LOVED BY THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU.  FUCKING 3 stooges multiplied. YOU ALL NEED FUCKING help. Its called ACT in a civilized way and protect you and yours not make it your lifes work to interfere in OTHERS peoples LIVES. How do you sleep at night Not fucking wake up screaming in FEAR. FUCKING DISGUSTED. WhY THE FUCK do I know any OF YOU. GREAT FUCKING PRETENDERS.  I KNOW CRIMINALS. I didn’t know that till 2014. EWWW. You all should have come with a fucking WARNING. Bitch you DISGUST ME. We will never get the face to face BUT BITCH YOU BETTR BE GLAD im not a FIGHTER. I don’t do VIOLENCE. It would have been me and you and You would not be walking AWAY. Youd be a bloddy mess needing an AMBULANCE. THANK YOUR LUCKY fucking stars whore. STOP PLAYING WITH Me.  REALY. Your insignificant., A FUCKING ANT. KILL YOURSELF NOW WHORE.   ß- I am also looking for jail time for any other person that has had motivating significant and or exemplary part in the scheme and it is unknown. I am seeking an admission of guilt along with a record for conspiracy for those wearing black in the second picture profile. This may turn into jail time if I become aware of the extent of their actions and their attitudes.  But one has to view the entirety of the profile and its participant to come to any valid conclusions.  In exchange for financial damages I will consider John Simms a mole.   Both picture profiles which I have saved to my email prove as clear and precise proof of these crimes. Supporting Documents. This is the color of the top part of MY Dress or its equivalent. Maybe a shade or so lighter. *. I wore yellow three times while at CMDI the first time a yellow mustard the second time was the exact color of Raven s jacket in the profile it was a yellow and black shirt and the last one was at the Christmas party. Every time I wore yellow an important ROMANTIC event happened with shit ball. Its not a romantic anecdote. Wild animals don’t deserve names.  Also I was first to wear red and black. My first time working there I wore a red dress and black tights. I was first and Only with everything Raven wants to compete with her mother. Does not realize she cannot have sex with her father. Wants to imitate mommy. Its sad. I also wore a black and red costume on Halloween in 2007. I was a vampiress.  And a burgundy costume in 2008 I was noble heiress.  The color game is on point. Take a seat. Dismissed. You have to be a child when we are dealing with children.                     Im going to add here that my first emails to CMDI were cordial and professional. They became vulgar volatile and aggressive when not only did things around where I live including large group of men late at night and its in a nice neighborhood and strangers behaving oddly start to happen In fact there was a woman named Teyonna who was a stranger but she made her name known to me. Noone knows about this suit but CMDI. That would be criminal harassment. Also I gave them an opportunity to say hey I see why you’re mad but this suit is off base Its incorrect. I am angry and I feel like the implication warrants my anger and destroying Ravens name with her colleagues If they had proof to the contrary of what it looks like Id agree not fair to show this to the public. But one Matt’s Video writes a story I don’t like. I could have publicized this without any reaction from CMDI. TOO MANY coincidences. Lastly I did offer CMDI an opportunity to clear themselves. I gave them a week to state their peace. It was not done in the nicest way possible but they didn’t deserve a nice way. Matt had no qualm about attempting to embarrass me AFTER I say do not contact me but didn’t step out of line to clear himself. To avoid a suit I have nothing more to say to anyone. Something if off upstairs. It must be true or your behavior is equal to that of a guilty party. It is no longer of my concern. You had an opportunity to handle things peacefully. Us having to go to court speaks to your criminal mindset. They Think that they don’t have to answer to people. You most certainly do and you most certainly will. Supplemental Documents (Brief History and In Depth view of Crimes and their effects) Working at CMDI previously I became privy of the atmosphere and climate of CMDI. Just speaking in terms of a business professional and working at CMDI you have about five different bosses sometimes telling you different conflicting things. This has no bearing on the case but just to give you an idea of their business style. There is Susan Floyd Office Manager. Raven Scott Caging Manager then different table representatives then select people they assign power for the day that work within the caging area or are other supervisors in other departments. Things change frequently but its easy to get 5 different stories and then get in trouble for putting into affect the wrong rule. I was never jealous of Raven but I secretly disliked her because not only did she have a  knack for trying  to turn sensitive things into public information and then turning personal information into joke time she is a manager which means she has access to personal information. Or has ways of learning sensitive personal information. Not just with me but other people  and this was early on before we became how shall we say cordial. I caught on early that Raven was either attempting to embarrass me either by using my brother that was a temporary employee for a short time or attempting to exaggerate or make a big deal out of minute mistakes or turning situations that were not of anyone’s concern INTO a big deal especially in front of Matt. In so many words she was trying to embarrass me in front of Matt. There were atleast two incidences if not more in which she did this.  A short while into working at CMDI I was taught scanning. I’m initially leery because it’s a big job and I’ve seen how this company reacts to mistakes while normal because no one likes being told they made a mistake it’s a mistake for a reason. Human error unforeseeable or avoidable in terms of they happen unexpectedly. I made my own errors im sure but there was one particular time Raven had scanned the day previous and I had scanned the day after which is the day the error was discovered. But it was a mistake from the previous day. Raven had pretty much told everyone It was my fault. I never said anything but Im 99 percent sure it was Ravens error and not mine.  To give you reasons why I secretly didn’t like Raven but put up with her. To Ravens credit she seems like she competes with everyone in terms of work even people who are there to do a job not compete with her. It’s annoying but that’s her personality. She puts words in peoples mouth and to be fair to other people its not logical. She’s a manager and she’s been there five years at that point. That’s a 6 year old competing with a 1 year old. You cant even logically measure the difference. Reading and writing  to crawling. To get to the pattern behavior which focuses more on the case.  My brother and his best friend worked there for a short time. All of us worked there for a brief time together. I left first then my brother was fired shortly after. I left due to CMDI’s hostile environment and their very clear attitude that you will be humiliated on the spot including and up to fired in front of top managers including the Ceo for making a mistake or working too slow and this is in the first few weeks of working there. I was coming around at the  point I left  but at the point this happened but the speed thing I had not entirely gotten down and Matt being there made an already possibly embarrassing situation worse. I had told them I was going to school and that was the plan after the fact but it was not the reason I left.  I really am not certain of the details surrounding why my brother and a few other people were fired. I don’t remember precisely why I just know it rubbed me the wrong way. But one thing I cannot and still cannot get over Is the fact that they fired a group of people together which included my brother but let his best friend stay. While I agree his best friend should have left just as a sign of solidarity and loyalty Raven’s personality is to divide people. Raven is a manager of a company. When you start saying things like divide and using work to embarrass or humiliate people it’s become a suit and a crime.  And I don’t mean people that have made friends at CMDI I mean family  best friends and to date husbands and wives. Raven does it purposefully.  Since it was Ravens decision and I’m already aware of Ravens personality.  I still lIked CMDI but It was not surprising information considering I didn’t like Raven for a reason. Before anyone starts the conversation it was not my idea to have my brother or his best friend hired.  It was a last minute thing brought on by an inquiry  by the company that the company was looking for new hires due to a heavy work load. That was just a back story before I get into the seriousness of the situation. I have emails attesting to the fact that I was in a mind frame that this could be talked out with Matt and that hopefully the complaint Is just a wort case scenario that would be proven wrong. I use to know these people so I had a hard time debating with myself and the extent of the facts I know. They contrast greatly but due to recent events and their behavior it gave me reason to believe this suit is valid.  But due to their unwilling to discuss anything or communicate I must assume that the facts presented in the complaint are true. I will agree the tone in my complaint became volatile but it speaks volumes that people WANT TO ARGUE and go through a court battle rather than communicate like adults. It also speaks volumes that CMDI and Matt know of who I am and our history despite events in 2015 and were able to shamelessly and ruthlessly attempt to humiliate and embarrass me without a second thought. I personally feel as though it takes a cold calculated individual to do things on this level without remorse to people they know. Matt’s unwllingness to talk ENRAGES ME because it implies they don’t feel as though they are wrong or that they are guilty parties. Ravens silence is whatever comes after enrages. A mass murderer is sitting there smiling like ANYTHING is funny and not talking like she has ANY power anywhere. You  are being sued and Im seeking jail time even if you have no sense or human decency SELF PRESERVATION should kick in. Sick and disgusting. I feel as though my anger is fair and it is warranted. It is a detour from my character but when people feel provoked or incensed I feel its fair to have it both ways. I’m angry but they do owe me an explaantion. They do owe me a reconciliation or a compromise of sorts. DID. At this point it’s a suit in which I make all the demands and they submit end of discussion including and up to jail time. At the time Matt and I met we were both young but I the youngest and naïve. Do not pull out the violin I say all this to make a point. I am nearly thirty and I cringe at half of my understanding of the world and my perception of life and men at 19 and 20. There’s a very good chance Matt and I wouldn’t be able to happen in any form  if we were to recreate CMDI events now. I am more aware and intelligent and abreast to the world and how people operate then I was at 19 and 20.  I am not as accessible.  And I didn’t think myself to be accessible then.  Matt and I were probably equal in terms of care free souls not thinking of the next moment or the next day. But something tangible did come from it whether planned or not.  This suit is not to bring up old things  to want something back or to control someone else. But I do feel as though I am owed respect and  dignity above all else if nothing else. Infact it irritates me that I had put CMDI and its events in a box on a shelf in a closet and now its like the elephant in the room.  A huge loud inconvenient uncomfortable embarrassing elephant in the middle of my living room that I did not put there. Not by my doing. I agree I must take part for the mishap in 2014  but that was a hiccup in  Ravens cold. That picture profile was up before so if CMDI is insinuating what I think they are insinuating It would then be equal to a symptom of the cold. I will not lie to you about it I find it hard to believe when I read back the complaint. So this company I liked and secretly adored because it’s where I met Matt went out their way to create a picture profile to steal my husband away from me or to put ideas in his head? It sounds all kind of Matrix and fantasy land Who behaves like that? And why would these people want to hurt me?  But that is the way it appears without much work. And these people are unwilling to communicate it paints an all too clear picture. And then the fucking kicker. A second hurricane is coming right after the first one left and left a devastation and it’s the same place. Have not had a chance to recover or  rebuild. My husband has feelings for my sister and he is siding with the woman out to hurt me. Who started the choose game. When I was not aware there even needed to be a decision.  Raven is Matts Sister. Susan is his mother and Bruce is his father.  I was not aware a decision had to be made. But not only does he have to MAKE a  decision he Is choosing Raven and by default as a sign of loyalty to Raven he has to disown humiliate and mock his wife. What wife? No ring.  And to be clear me not being able to get through to Matt or him stonewalling me for sake of Raven means he’s aware of the emotional damage it will do to Raven by one talking with me two siding with me and though it would be well deserved its not going to happen. But this is to give you  proof Matt is aware of what emotional damage he has done. Knows the message  he has sent by siding with Raven and stone walling me but also refusing to leave her side because of the message it sends to her but he had no problem sending to me and I’m his wife.   There are so many avenues I want to discuss that I have thought about but I never have pen and paper ready when I connect dots perfectly. I will have to piece together my bad memory.  But first lets go with what  A company’s responsibility is. A company is a place of business. It a place by grand design that connect a lot of people of different walks of life The personal and professional lines sometimes get crossed  due to holidays and business functions but everyone is aware this is a place to conduct business. To be quite frank Ms. Susan and Raven’s personal tie and the for it  to be duplicated with the  CEO of the company adds to an already toxic work environment. I cannot speak on John Simms Son but I have met Raven and her behavior Is the direct result of getting something for nothing and a no consequences  environment. When she makes an error of great concern or she doesn’t like someone she has been given the power to fire people on the spot without great explanation or ANY explanation. In fact some leave with ruined reputations for doing nothing because Raven is jealous. She places over demanding and nearly impossible standards on people and then she she falls short of the expectation she expect from other people must be fired because she is embarrassed. Who Is going to fire Raven? Fucking Who?  To give you a prime example of her behavior She created an embarrassment wall and her name was the first to go up for making a mistake the group of people were fired a short while later. She creates these little games then embarrasses herself and make other people responsible for it. Raven has done probably atleast two fire worthy things when I knew her. This was icing on the cake and she should not have been around long enough to do the fucking finale of FUCK UPS and close CMDI because thats whats happening. She in one fell swoop is closing CMDI and she did not do it by herself Brue and John without a doubt helped. And Matt revved the engine. Nothing else will do. I cannot fathom  how any one is explaining to me how a company is involing itself in stealing my husband. One you have time? and isn’t Bruce Married? Does he have to some gay fantasy he wants to play out with Matt. It is the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard. A whole company  decided to turn criminal and steal my husband. Like If Bruces Wife Work. Let’s say there is a man there younger then him more attractive and the company has decided this younger guy at her job would be a better fit for this already married woman. And they start planning business trips for Bruce’s wife and this young guy on a regular basis. They call her by his name and when Bruce comes to visit shes never there or shes in younger guys office having sex Bruce just has no idea. Is MADLY in love suspects nothing. Believes the company. Just not here. Business Trip. A few month later website. Bruces wife and young guy in a suggestive pose. Trying to turn  Bruce off. His wife is in love and is trying to break the news to him. Which in his mind sparks a million different conversations about him that were blown out of proportion or exaggeration but ALL defamatory AND OF A personal nature.  Immediately angry..  Wife gets on line creating a video saying Bruce is old. She likes her men young and rich. Just makes it worse. A place of work has now become a fucking gossip rag during business hours and after hours and happy hour and dinner. The people that work for the company become untensils to steal Bruces life even seriously hurt him emotionally or otherwise.  The company becomes totally responsible for the nutjobs threatning to jump Bruce because in their paranoid delusional mind he is standing in the way of TRUE LOVE. He shouldn’t be upset she has moved on and the receptionist he was friendly with totally think shes upgraded because Bruce called her a whore on site for lying to him and throwing the flowers he sent his wife in the trash.  Perhaps maybe even the guy the company hired and his wife has fallen in love with wants to fight BRUCE. Cant stand the idea another MAN touching his girl like her HUSBAND. He doesn’t share. The company owes Bruce money at the very least.  People may have the idea that I created this company I can make my own rules and generally you can but since you are not working alone and you manage a number of people laws come into play. Like if you were to assault an employee it would be a crime.  This is equal to a brutal malicious attack on a ex employee and not only did you start with the website you recruited her ex husband to continue attacking me and to add to the emotional distress. There is a code of conduct that must be followed at work. There are things that have to be considered when managing so many people and sadly its equal to this whole company planned an assault on one person out the blue in the middle of the night and just kept assaulting her picture after picture event after event discussion after discussion dinner after dinner. Video after video and you all planned it for no good reason None.  It doesn’t speak to sane or decent people who should be allowed to walk the earth by themelves. And no one had the decency to say we all use to know this girl why do we want to see her hurt. Why does Matt want to see her hurt? Precisely  you had no valid reason other than jealousy and a secret desire to see someone you once saw prosper suffer and be humiliated with the guy she loves. I agree a silly backwards unlogical email not the coolest thing in the world. Not typical professional well put together Teyonna. But firstly that email in another life is worth a couple hundred dollars. A cool compilation of INFORMATION lets call it that. That’s Teyonnas worst day a COOL COMPILATION OF INTERESTING INFORMATION. A FUN GAME with drinks. In another life that’s what that email  IS EQUAL TO. It might be in this life depending on who you ask but as display of my character and professionalism I felt humiliated AFTER the fact. It was an uncontrollable event in my life Something that is not in my control otherwise it wouldn’t have happened and My husband cant be TOLD anything its grounds for excommunication AND marrying my sister. There was no concern there was no protectivness just I finally have a reason to be rid of her. And So we are clear I had one unfortunate event that embarrassed Matt. Raven is an embarrassment everyday she’s breathing and it was done on purpose sweetheart it’s not a competition. You don’t recognize expensive worthy good decent women when you see them Men like Matt see a penny in a trash and the light hits it right and he swears he’s found GOLD. It’s a penny in a trash can. And you dropped the check you just cashed bending over to find the penny in the TRASH CAN.  Matts in California started over. He could have been like nope left CMDI DRAMA over. No he went back and just DOVE IN. Dudes are dumb. All kinds of stupid but Matts actions matters because hes attempting to take me with him. All Kind of stupid and backwards. That’s what GREED does to people.  You are going to lose EVERYTHING trying to have EVERYTHING and leave with nothing A negative. Exactly. And I was aware Matt in some womens eyes at CMDI he was fucking gaston  in Beaty in the beast but I don’t do the desperate damsel in distress well and I don’t do one of I do only. Sadly I think he has control of  a lot if not ALL the women at CMDI if not of a romantic level a protective mother  level and its disgusting. Matts a MAN WHORE and that’s frowned upon out side of work but its fucking rephrenisnle and unprofessional in a work setting. If you go to a bar and talk to every chick in the room hoping to catch ones attention its one night. You are never going to see those women again That kind of behavior in a place of work is sickening demoralizing and unprofessional. It leads to situations like this. I m sorry It doesn’t  for SMART businesses. They REMOVE the problem. THIS company created its OWN laws and decided someone else would be better fit for MY HUSBAND and they were boldy unapologetic and unremoseful and unabashedly owning we are trying to sacrifice you.  RAVEN IS just BETTER. The younger dude is JUST better. Matt and Bruce will pass probably a thousand people in the street. People who are more attractive thinner and younger. Youre married THAT’S life you are not meant to know these women. He sees a broad wearing the same color of their wedding and Matt figures that’s my new wife or that’s who I was suppouse to marry 7 years later. No it means two things Matt is paranoid and Raven is jealous. Raven is bitch number 71 and decided to pick her out and make up a story do you know how many broads can throw on yellow  SMFH A man whore. Community Dick. End of Discussion.  I don’t have anything of value if Matt tells the WHOLE world including old women they can get him. EWWW.  And you YORSELF are getting older. Matts a fucking cherry on cookies. Out of place but covering for him. He can still hang. SMFH. Stick to your ice cream and call it a fucking day.  If your wife KNOWS of any of them you are fit for jail cell. Strangers you are not even suppouse to know of them And you are not that bright. Matt took it a step further My sister passed him in the house and he followed her to her room while I was sleep waiting for him to return to bed.  Yeah I was awake and I listened. Men are FUCKING DISGSUTING pathetic and loosing a few in the brain. ANYONE in the fucking WORLD AND only my sister will do. And Excuse the sister term I don’t fuck with RAVEN but those are the DAMAGES MATT AND CMDI owes me. Even if Matts a pathetic unworthy and fit for a  jail cell man it shouldn’t have been possible  but WOMEN don’t have self respect. Let Vernon and I DATE HAVE SEX OR GET married and see how fast the silly broad is in my face I don’t want Vernon. See who was jealous and just about lost her fucking MIND. If Vernon a few years after I leave CMDI tries to get with me im going to carry him and then email Raven and we haven’t spoke in years and make fun of him for her. Hand on the bible that’s how it would have gone.  And please tell CMDI and Matt its not as Romantic as you all make it to be Im 90 percent sure Raven initially was jealous because OMG a fat chick is shitting on my life and in two shakes its definitely me before HER and she knew Matt first. Raven is that pathetic sister who clings to her brother and get jealous at her brother dating and places doubt on the whole family. In another life Raven being jealous OF ME is equal to HER being gay. I only do men so she knows. Waste of Her fucking time. Bitch is disgusting. Is paying way too much attention to my fucking life Matt being the little ass bitch that he is fantasizes oh she was crazy about me. No some people are just sick. It’s sad.  As I said she is using MATT to get to me It has or had very little to do with him. Bitches are insecure and jealous. Im far from naïve Im sure Raven likes that the situation is reversed now to the tenth power Like the fact that Matt would rather go to jail then to talk to me. And don’t mistake me he’s doing me a favor. Money in comparison to a twenty minute two hour conversation with Matt. My time is valuable just like his. That would make two fit for jail cells their behavior is equal to  two strangers kidnapped me and they want to see me suffer. Its sick and not sane. It borders on deranged and a twisted mind. I give a fuck what anyone is doing AT any given time of day exceptions are spouses and children. These are strangers. They enjoy seeing someone off the street suffer. Not only is their suffering CREATED meaning I shouldn’t be chained to a wall. Its speaks of a sick mind if I say Nothing happened here if you let me GO RIGHT NOW, We are in a bunch of woods you go your way I go my way. I wont remember your face or have time to get to safety and follow you at the same time. You have my word. Matt puts on his rings then punches  me.  I don’t want to go home I don’t want to be free. I want  to see TWO   DIE horrible deaths. INSANE. Two are emotionally and mentally disturbed. My life should have nothing to do with yours Noone was made to suffer for you.  Paranoid individuals. And what’s even sadder these are not strangers my husband and my sister. I now believe in the death penalty. I agree it’s a little bit of a gray area. Matt And Raven did not pull guns on me poison my food booby trap my hose or put a bomb in my car but there is such a thing as provocation emotional control and a  very real thing such as manipulation  harassment and praying on the already vulnerable and weak. I am a unusually strong person I pride myself on having self control and being controlled in ever changing environments and around different personalities. It is something I have nearly mastered. In my opinion it is a must have skill in  the world we live in now. It took me a while to put together I SHOULD BE ANGRY Raven is wearing yelling on a platform. I should NOT apologize at irritation and anger when I hear a song or see a video and she pops up in my mind. THAT IS NORMAL. I should be UPSET. People need to see that IM UPSET.  I usually do not show people im upset it’s a weapon criminals and assholes use to control good people. But this is one of those times painting a mask of indifference or staying silent gives criminals the go ahead to steal my Life. Raven picked on me purposefully because sometimes other women see heavier women as insecure or weak. Its’s just not true in my case. Im a very confident woman  probably to my detriment. And im still not complaining Noone knows But I didn’t see ANYTHING at CMDI. I felt like a MILLION bucks leaving CMDI. I still don’t see anything. Raven is my inferior. Shes putting  ANY kind of words in my mouth is a fucking crime.  We are not friends I DIDN’T care she was breathing.  Id email to say hi to Ms. Susan before Raven Hell it would be Ms. Jackie before Raven September BRUCE and Ive said said two words to the man. I say praying on the weak and vulnerable without pause because any PERSON in love becomes  an old man in a wheelchair. And I like to think being in love make females more fragile because women are taught to be the submissive in romantic couplings. Women are taught one and only men are taught to have a line up. Anyone in love is a fragile person. But It is not an exaggeration to think if a woman loses her husband she loses half of herself. Whether by death or divorce. But this situation goes to a whole new level. We didn’t fight and break up. I was fighting cancer. And My husband and my sister turned cancer into a joke and my husband is sure he married the wrong sister Is irreversibly angry and my sister whom is making fun of my bald head and everything that comes with CANCER smiles at the idea that she has stolen my husband in my time of need and he doesn’t care if I die. Matt is praying I die. Its frees him from guilt and allows him to without shame or guilt marry my sister. Is not interested in the event in which made their path cross again. Or how tacky  it is that while you are irritated at the event you are going to expound on my suffering to flirt romance MY sister. Im on a hospital bed throwing up and Raven and Matt are in the bathroom flirting. DID you see how she looked throwing up?  Batshit.  Are attempting to eradicate any trace of me from your life. Which sadly is impossible.  Wedding photos. Our color is yellow and yellow is going no where. Is a primary color. And will be till the end of time And to top it off the company we met is involved. Is sure Matt Married the wrong sister. So they are going to mock a serious illness even harass me to the point of death or feeling like. ALL of me IS gone. Not just half my ENTIRE LIFE. And I have to clarify because me being sick was equal to the flu. I was not near death because of the flu but why didnt my husband come and bring me cold medicine Why didnt he email and say I hope you feel better. Why is he telling me in so many words to kill myself and its just the fucking flu. I didn’t ask for the cold. HAD NO control over the symptoms. WHY  is he SO ANGRY. Why is he on platforms saying he doesn’t fuck with girls who have colds.  Making me over like my whole LIFE has been in bed coughing  throwing up and ONLY drinking orange juice.  It is a flue that will go away he turned me into a FUCKING Scarlett letter over something temporary and passing. I don’t have anything to live for.  To be fair I CANNOT even say made their paths cross. I didn’t email Matt. Who knows what would have happened if Raven didn’t email Matt. There are a lot of what ifs but we are in court they don’t matter. This has happened It is the end all be all. And so we are clear IT shouldn’t have been possible. These are two companies. And you would think CMDI has met two members of my family and it didn’t not motive them to act appropriately in a legal manner. It SPEAKS VOLUMES. And to top it off Matt has met my brother his best friend.  Sadly my family Is neither here nor there but this is AFTER THE fact and sadly I could add damages CMDI behavior as a catalyst for my family’s behavior PRESS for crackers. I got them their jobs. I am a white person. Sad and disgusting and CMDI is full of  BLACK white people.  We are in a court room. Gave you  proof.  Criminals. Ravens and Matts behavior is equal to they robbed a bank for 10 million dollars but they got caught at the fucking rite aid around the corner spending 5.00 of the 10 million. It wasn’t worth it. It means nothing sadly husbands cheat on their WIVES all the time. Their mistress or mistresses in Matts case.  It means nothing.  Everyone loves the idea of 10 million dollars but All of the world knows its jail time and a crime and I don’t want to be in a bank when it happens.  Solves that problem not my money I’m never robbing a  bank. I like my freedom. ��What Raven and Matt did was plan a robbery. And CMDI and Pjtv Helped. It’s crazy. And sadly men turn sacred vowel and marriages into TRASH. A fucking game in whose going to kill each other first. Its not adult or sane behavior.  I don’t allow boys to play those game with me. Whores like Raven give men the idea they are toys that can be played over. Not in this life. There is one woman per man. There are not side chicks. Vacation chicks and business trip chicks. It’s sickening and disgusting. Please ask Matt how many whore there are. Bitch I need five more hands. I don’t want him I want the money. Damages. Putting words in my mouth. Matt is a man whore he’s fucking confused. There were so many females even if Matt ignores me Raven has to compete with fucking 20 other bitches to prove its only her How many are still looking his stupid ass up. Its sad and disgusting. And let me make it clear I am aware Matt was a flirt but I  OWN IT BOTH times I work there. Matt pursued me. End of discussion. Everyone saw or became interested in who I was based on his behavior and be default my response to him. Everyone knew. Wrote my fucking check. I cannot lie I am perplexed by everyone’s behavior but especially Matt’s. I was never expecting or waiting for anything to happen after moving to South Carolina. Matt and I hadn’t talked in years and logically Matts in a whole other state. But in my mind Matt was always going to be special to me. I never really had to see him again. He could marry whomever he pleases outside of CMDI but he was always going to be the dude I tripped in mud and im not helping up.   Im not going to go into detail but if you were there this all seems like the impossible has happened. People do get divorced. People do turn.  But its still crazy not possible on this side of town. My side of town. You would have to cross out the teachers circled answered to get the test wrong and Matt crossed everything out and put his answer. Failed the test. Astonished. Amazed.  So either you’re dumb. You don’t care. Or you are purposefully trying to hurt me. And before this suit I haven’t done anything worthy of you being mad enough to want to hurt me.  Matt and I have never been married. Its is a loose metaphor but it feels precisely like that some days.  Raven picked out our wedding colors ordained our wedding and booked our hotel. Thank her for your misery. To the world to matt Teyonna is over him. Does not have feelings. Has forgotten Matt existed. In Teyonnas room in Teyonnas fantasies and in her mind. I was thinking about him. The light on some dark nights. That’s a lot of people who have ever been in love. Its not a crime and its no one business. I wasn’t pursuing Matt for a relationship. What Raven did was take me hostage and if emotions were tangible touchable things she’s excruciatingly and tortuously removed them and had Matt finish it off all the while taunting me. I don’t know if anyone knows whats it’s like to feel alive. Not realize you didn’t feel alive until you feel alive. But I feel the opposite of that. Numb. there is a wall. And Im a happy person. I didn’t do anything to anyone. I didn’t deserve it. You owe me damages. I did not understand crime or how someone could commit violent acts or crime till now as naïve as that sounds and it was a good thing. Me understanding how someone can commit a violent act not only irritates me it immediately recalls CMDI and its events. Its going to perplex me until the end of time a WHOLE company gave their life away over two fucking trash cans and half these people married. Disgusted. Criminals know all about crime and do not care that they see how it can be done. I liked being naïve to the world of crime. I shouldn’t call it naïve, In a perfect world I am right crime should not exist. People don’t have common sense.  The ONLY reason I understand is via a crime that someone kidnapped and made me watch. These people should not be allowed to walk the earth. They have victimized someone over and over again and feel no remorse. It’s disgusting.  I do know you owe me money for that alone. The smallest thing can set me off into Rage. Before this I don’t get past UPSET. There’s mad then angry then rage. Rage is usually where I am every other day just thinking of Matt Raven and CMDI. Kid you not. Hand on the bible IF Matt and I were married I would plan their deaths and feel no remorse. It has crossed my mind a time or two but that’s giving myself away for something criminal. Something I have nothing to do with. I become a police officer at that point. I want to see them grovel in pain then do it again until Im satisfied. Until their bodies lay lifeless and bloody. Something is wrong with people. Sick demented and crazy. Money cannot buy happiness. It Is not what is important to me in this life. Criminals put words in my mouth and decide to exchange it for worthless bullshit like money. Something  that is a facilillator of life not a sustainer of life. I have to fight for  the humiliation clause taking your company. Taking your freedom. Money means something to them. Love and loyalty means something to me.  I have never brought the cheating on husband and wives as normal behavior even before I came to CMDI. It tells you in vowels its an everlasting union. Never. Men are everyday murderers without guilt or remorse. Its fucking disgusting. I was right and I find out in vivid color and Ive never said I DO. You take my shit I take your shit. End of Complaint. Please note CMDI has been email a copy of this complaint. This complaint has been updated and they will be served by a marshal. The color of the top of my dress at the Christmas party in 2008.

Note to Judges/Courts.. I am requesting a court date in DECEMBER 2017 to prepare attorney fees and my case.

[type2diabetestreatments-blog]

Ask D'Mine: Treating a Diabetic "Junkie," and Considering "Insulinotropic" Foods

New Post has been published on http://type2diabetestreatment.net/diabetes-mellitus/ask-dmine-treating-a-diabetic-junkie-and-considering-insulinotropic-foods/

Ask D'Mine: Treating a Diabetic "Junkie," and Considering "Insulinotropic" Foods

Need help navigating life with diabetes? Ask D'Mine! That would be our weekly advice column, hosted by veteran type 1, diabetes author and community educator Wil Dubois. This week, Wil takes on the issues of doctors seeing "junkies" rather than patients struggling with addiction, and the insulinotropic effect of certain foods on PWDs.

Got your own questions? Email us at AskDMine@diabetesmine.com

Anonymous from Alabama, type 2, writes: I was diagnosed 5 months ago with type 2 diabetes. I assume I've had it for a few years, but I have no insurance and didn't realize how dangerous it really is. I'm now reading a lot more and I'm terrified. My feet and hands are numb most days. Fatigue is a mild word. I finally got in a community free clinic and I'm on 2000 mg metformin a day and was on 15 units of Lantus. I had to stop taking Lantus because it seemed to be making me have withdrawals from the methadone I've been on for five years. Extreme diet change has lowered my numbers a lot, but the doctor seems to be not as concerned as I am, and this really bothers me. And I can't seem to get much info about the methadone and the insulin. Any info you could give, or where or what to do next, or any insight into my situation? Thanks, I'm worried.

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: It's OK to be worried. Fear can be a healthy emotion, so long as it doesn't rule the day. And, hey, I'm proud of you. You got yourself into a clinic—better late than never—you've made extreme diet changes, you're reading up on your diabetes and you're asking questions!

As to your doctor, well, I'm not so proud of him. I think you might have gotten one of the bad ones. Most docs at free clinics are pretty awesome people who are drawn to helping people in the greatest need. Let's face it, no doc works at a free clinic for the money—this kind of work is among the lowest-paying in medicine.

That said, and there's no delicate way to say this, so bear with me... I think he might see something different when he looks at you than what I see. I'll go first. When I look at you (well, at your email—but I can "see" a great deal in the words people place on a page), I see someone who's had a pretty hard road. I see someone who's suffering a great deal, but trying to improve her lot in life. I see a fellow PWD. Hell, I just see a fellow human being.

And that's good enough for me.

Your doc, however, sees something else. He looks at you and sees a junkie. Long-term use of methadone is sometimes used to treat chronic pain, but is usually used to treat opiate addictions. A methadone prescription is a red flag. In fact, just like your doc, I'm actually going to assume that's why you are taking it; but unlike your doc, I'm not going to judge you for it. For some reason, some really great docs get hung up over drug use and, like the Grinch, their hearts suddenly shrink. I've seen some pretty open-minded providers act really strangely around IV drug users. So when I read your email I found myself wondering if your doc was really listening to you or if he'd gotten hung up over your past with his brain stuck in a stupid loop about "so she had money for heroin, but couldn't be bothered to pay for her health care, I'm not going to waste my time..."

That's #@$%& BS! I say to your doctor: If you can't accept everyone, regardless of their faults, as worthy of the same treatment, then you don't belong in medicine. The door is over there. Please leave, we have enough real challenges to solve without those kinds of attitudes. I'm sure you'll do just fine in politics.

So I spent most of my spare time the last few weeks trying to see what's known and not known about methadone and Lantus. The answer: not much.

In fact, about all I could find were two reports of photosensitivity in women over 50; and one report of "chills" in a 60-year-old man. Now chills might sound a bit like your "withdrawals." And if it happened to one other person, it sure as hell could have happened to you, too.

The solution? Well, based on my field experience, I've found the various insulins we have to play with are a lot more different than apples and oranges. We tend to think of Lantus and Levemir like we think of Tide and Cheer: hey, the brands are different, but they both clean your clothes. And while it's true that the glucose response profile of the two basal insulins is pretty much the same, they couldn't be made any more differently. Hell, they aren't apples and oranges so much as watermelons and papayas. People who have some sort of oddball trouble with one often do fine on the other. And don't forget we have the old-fashioned NPH as an option, too.

My advice? Go back to your clinic, but ask to see another provider. Look the white coat straight in the eye and be honest about your past and passionate about your future. Be clear about your here-and-now fears. Then ask to try a different insulin, and see if it plays better with your methadone.

Oh, and don't vote for your old doc if you see he is running for Congress.

Paul from Georgia, type 1, writes: I have recently read about foods like milk and wheat causing increased secretion of insulin (insulinotropic effect) above the insulin needed for the carbs in the food. This fact is used to conclude that products containing these ingredients be used sparingly, if at all, in an attempt to prevent obesity and type 2 diabetes. The reason being that these foods cause an overproduction of insulin that leads to storage of excessive carbs as fat. My question is as a type 1 with a negative c-peptide is: will eating these foods have the same effect? My guess is unless they cause a glucose rise above the carb content that I gave a bolus for, there will be no extra insulin unless I give extra insulin.

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: Well, first off, you and I must be reading different journals, because I haven't seen nor could I find anyone worrying about insulinotropic foods causing weight gain. In fact, just the opposite may be true—they're being heralded as the next great thing in diabetes treatment, and some people think they may even help prevent obesity.

But let's back up and give all our readers some background. Then we'll dissect the issue you read about a little more and I'll take a crack at your question. As you said, insulinotropic is just a fancy-pants cocktail party word for something that causes insulin production. And it's been a known mystery for a number of years that different proteins have different "insulinotropic properties," meaning that they trigger insulin production independent of their glycemic index; the exact opposite of what logic would suggest. WTF?

Back in 2004, a team of Swedish researchers singled out milk as being the most unusual in this regard. After much study the smoking gun was proven to be whey protein, which makes up around 20% of milk's protein (but a whopping 60% of the protein in human breast milk, "food" for thought). Why whey kicks the body in the pancreas more than you'd expect, given its carb count, remains a mystery to this day.

But, but, but: just because it induces the body to produce more insulin than the glycemic index would suggest, doesn't mean it's making your body produce more insulin than it needs. In fact, the extra squirt of insulin from whey has been shown to greatly reduce blood sugar spikes after meals. So much so, that mixing whey into high carb meals has been shown to have a medicinal effect in type 2s. In other words, a natural insulin secretagogue. (One study added whey to a meal of mashed potato and Swedish meatballs, which I find ironic given the original whey discovery came from Swedish researchers.)

Over the last few years, there has been much ongoing research that, quoting another study, "dietary interventions represent a promising therapeutic strategy to optimize postprandial glycemica." Whey as medicine for all that ails you.

In a stretch, I suppose I could see your point about extra insulin moving the carbs into fat storage, but leaving the extra carbs in the blood moves the type 2 into the dialysis center. I don't think these foods are likely to cause greater weight gain because of the extra insulin, nor do I think type 2s should avoid them only out of fear of weight gain. I think anyone who is worried about weight should focus more on eating less, and less on what they are eating. And just to muddy the waters, I'm seeing a lot of research actually supporting whey as an anti-obesity agent, rather than a trigger for weight gain. This has led to whey becoming a popular food supplement, especially for the for body building crowd. It's seen as agent of muscle growth and fat reduction, but like many food supplements, we are lacking in solid science behind this particular claim.

But as to you, my insulin-deficient friend, you're right. An insulinotropic food will not bring your dead beta cells back to life. An insulinotropic substance needs an insulin-producing body to act on.

However, your question raises another: If the "normally" functioning human body produces more insulin for whey than you'd expect it to need... why is that? Frankly, the body tends to know what it's doing. Even though the glycemic index of foods with whey shouldn't demand more insulin, the body provides it, and apparently with good results.

Maybe we should all consider a whey bolus.

This is not a medical advice column. We are PWDs freely and openly sharing the wisdom of our collected experiences — our been-there-done-that knowledge from the trenches. But we are not MDs, RNs, NPs, PAs, CDEs, or partridges in pear trees. Bottom line: we are only a small part of your total prescription. You still need the professional advice, treatment, and care of a licensed medical professional.

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

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