#maybe its cause its dark everywhere else except for my screen

[bobapplesimblr]

Things I plan to do tomorrow:

1. make a build/decorate with the van shell from werewolves

2. make a container home build

3. Write yet another challenge (mostly for myself) or find a challenge that fits what I want to do

See yall tomorrow!!

[cevans16]

Ask Her To Dance

Summary: You’re part of the Avengers during the Infinity War era, you and the cast have a final party in Greece

You had all recently finished filming Infinity War, traveling to Europe to start the promo tour, ending up in Greece. You played a military veteran who had started working for the Avengers, you had grown close to the entire cast, having a crush on Sebastian. Sebastian had always been a quiet one except when he was with you or Anthony Mackie. 

It was the last night after a ton of interviews, photoshoots, etc. Robert had suggested you all go out to a club to blow off some steam and as as last hoorah. So there you were in a midi skin-tight lavender summer dress and black high heels. Scarlett had done your makeup in a dark smokey eye look balancing the rest with a natural shade while Lizzie did your hair in voluminous curls, you looked sexy to say the least.

“Wow....you look wow, I’m not a lesbian but I would turn for you” Scarlett said once they took a final look at you. 

“What am I not hot before this look?” you teased

“Oh of course you are but now I can’t hold myself” she said smirking at you. 

While they were finishing up you heard someone knock on the hotel door, you went to open it to find the boys standing there, they didn’t say a word but their eyes looked like they were about to pop out. 

“Okay...where’s (Y/N) and what have you done to her?” Robert jokingly asked

“Stop! You guys coming in or what” you said stepping aside to allow them in

“I think they’re almost done, I’m going downstairs to get us a cab” you said.

You didn’t see that Mackie had elbowed Sebastian to go with you to the lobby. Sebastian blushed and shook his head, “Come on.....hey (Y/N) you shouldn’t go alone, Sebs here will accompany you” Mackie announced. 

You looked at him with a confusing look but didn’t ask any questions, at least not in front of the boys. “Okay...come on Sebastian”. 

“Ladies first” he motioned to you to walk inside the elevator first to head down

“Such a gentleman” you said. You leaned on the elevator wall, tapping your heel on the floor

“You look beautiful (Y/N)” Sebastian said in a soft whisper, you felt your cheeks heat up at him complimenting you

“Thank you, you look great as always” you replied, this time you saw him blush, he smiled scrunching in his nose in that adorable way that he always did when he got shy. 

You let the driver know that you would be down in about twenty more minutes. You and Sebastian headed back up to see if everyone else was almost ready. You walked in to the room with Scarlett and Lizzie finishing up the last of their makeup. You grabbed a mascara to touch up on your own eyelashes. 

“You ladies take forever” Chris Evans teased you three

“Okay then wait for us over there” you turned to say to him 

You kept eyeing Evans for a bit, he obviously caught onto your expression.

“Noooo whatever it is don’t” he said a little frightened

“Seriously, you two film a movie where you are a couple and now you act like a couple” Robert teased

Robert’s comment caused Sebastian’s heart to drop a little bit. He knew you and Chris Evans were only great friends but after seeing some of the footage of the Knives Out movie you and Chris played as a toxic couple, Sebastian couldn’t help but wonder if there could be something more between you and Chris.

“Oh stop no, its not like that but I do have an idea...well more of a favor” you said

“What?” Chris asked you

“Can I please put mascara on one of your eyelashes because yours are so long and I want to see what they look like with mascara!” you asked him excitedly

“What the fahck noooo” he said, his little Bostonian accent showing

“Please Chris, just one eye! I promise I’ll wipe it off.....please, I’ll drop on my knees to beg you” you pleaded

“Can you at least wait for all of us to leave, we don’t want to see that” Robert joked

“Shut it Downey” you said laughing, “Please Chris, I’ll give you ten bucks”

Chris narrowed his eyes at you, mulling over the situation for a second. He couldn’t say no to you though, you had become such a great friend to him.

“Fine, just one damn eye that’s it” he said to you

You did a little jump of joy, walking over to him. He was on the end of the couch next to Sebastian. You set your knee between Sebastian and Chris who had scooted a bit over to give you some space. 

“Why am I letting you do this?” Chris said already regretting his choice

“Because you love me” you teased at him

“That I do” he immediately replied

Sebastian would be lying if he said that he wasn’t jealous at hearing Chris say that, or seeing you get along great with Chris, let alone seeing how close your face was to Chris’. He didn’t say anything, only intently looking at you place the mascara on Chris’ eyelashes. Mackie on the other hand could tell the little green monster was getting the best of Sebastian slowly but surely.

“Ohhh my gosh -CHRIS- this isn’t fair” you yelped seeing his eyelashes grow longer and darker

You glanced quickly over to Sebastian, he looked away instantly, a light blush on his cheeks. 

“Wait, you have long lashes too, not like Chris’ but--OKAY this isn’t fair, why do you boys get long lashes” you commented

“Yours are long too so stop whining” Chris said

You were still looking at Sebastian’s eyes, they were a beautiful shade of blue, you loved his eyes, this was the first time you were able to see them so upclose though. 

“Are you going to stare at him or can I wipe this damn makeup off?” Chris asked pulling you out of your trance. This time you felt yourself blush with Sebastian being the one to catch you.

“Sorry- yes Chris you can go now. Sebastian, would you let me put mascara on” you now asked him

“I’m sure he’d let you do anything to him” Mackie commented, earning a deathful glare from Sebastian

“It’s okay if you don’t want to” you immediately added

“Nahh let me see doll” he smiled at you, leaning his face closer to yours, you felt your breath hitch.

“YAY, okay look up just a little bit-oh wait hold on” you said, you put the mascara that you had in your hand behind your dress, you pulled out another one from your thigh, Sebastian was a little confused at the switch.

“Don’t say anything but I used waterproof mascara on Chris” you whispered giggling at your confession. 

“You’re bad” Sebastian replied chuckling at your little shenanigans, Chris was going to flip. And he sure did.

“Okay I’m almost don-” you were about to say

“(Y/N)!!!!!” you heard Chris yell for you, he came out of the bathroom followed by the girls who couldn’t stop laughing

“What?” you asked innocently

“Don’t ‘what’ me with those eyes, you put waterproof on didn’t you!?” he stated

“Noooo look” you said showing him the mascara you had in your hand

“That’s bullshit where is it!?” he yelled

You knew he wasn’t entirely pissed but he wasn’t too happy either

“Chris I don’t know what you’re talking about” you said trying to hide the smirk on your face

“I see it” Chris said at the mascara that was placed behind your back in your dress. Chris swiped it out quickly, almost shoving it in your face.

“I’ll get you back” he peered at you 

“Ohhh how scary” you said cackling at this point. Chris didn’t respond however he slightly shoved you towards Sebastian who caught you with his hands on your sides, both of you blushing immensely.

“Sorry” you both said at the same time. You could feel everyone else’s eyes on you and Sebastian. You got up from the couch walking over to get a makeup wipe remover

“You have nice eyelashes too Sebs.....actually your entire eyes....its not fair” you complimented him

“Thanks” he replied shyly.

He was about to take the wipe from your hands but you shook your head, reaching over to his face to wipe away the makeup

“Why does he get special treatment?” Chris asked, he knew exactly why.

“Shut it” you said

“I’m still going to get you back, this shit does not come off easily” Chris said complaining.

The girls were finally done, all of you doing one last check before heading out to the bar lounge which was a little far away from the hotel. 

After a twenty minute drive you arrived to your destination, you and the girls headed to the restroom while the guys got some drinks and headed over to the private section. The place wasn’t too crowded or crazy but there were enough people to give it a great atmosphere. It also overlooked part of Greece and the ocean, the warm humid weather being complemented with a nice breeze.

“So now that we’re done with the tour, maybe you should ask her out before you start filming here?” Mackie encouraged Sebastian.

“Ehhh I don’t know man, I don’t think she likes me” Sebastian replied shyly

“Oh don’t start with that, she is into you! She just doesn’t make it obvious, Scar told me that she thinks you’re cute sooo can’t be wrong, won’t hurt to ask” Mackie said. 

“Trust me she likes you” Chris added in with a wink at Sebastian. 

“Where did you go?” Hemsworth asked him

“I was getting payback” he smirked

Sebastian was going to ask Chris what he meant until he saw you and the girls walking over with your drinks.

“Man this place is beautiful!” You yelled over the music. 

“You’ve never been to Greece?” Lizzie asked you 

“Nah it’s my first time so be gentle” you joked, Sebastian almost spit out his drink

“Speaking of first times, how’s the movie for you two going?” Scarlett asked you and Chris, you both turned to look at each other

“Not bad actually, definitely more risqué than what I did in Vampire Diaries” you explained.

“Ohhh I may or may not have requested that song” Chris Evans confessed while drinking his beer

“What!! Why?!” you yelped

“Oh come on, you know people go crazy when they see you on the screen with that song playing” he smirked

He was right, there was a certain scene in the show you had done where your character is a newly turned vampire, almost dirty dancing with one of the bad boy vampires at a college party. 

“I swear everywhere I go they play that song” you added

“It’s not necessarily a bad thing” Evans said. 

“What show?” Sebastian asked curiously, he had heard about the show but never watched it. Sebastian’s comment added onto the fuel of everyone around you. 

“Out of all people, YOU for sure have to see it, she looks hot” Scarlett motioned over to you

“Scarrrr” you gritted through your teeth. Luckily you were saved by the song playing over the speakers, Feel So Close by Calvin Harris boomed over the place. 

The intro had you moving to the beat, you loved this song, it brought you great memories from when you were part of the Vampire Diaries show

Almost a minute into the song the DJ yelled, “We hear a certain vampire is in the building!! Give it up for (Y/N)!!!!!”

Sure enough they played that certain party scene on the big screen. You and your former costar Ian Somerhalder killing it as vampires dirty dancing.

You felt yourself blushing, embarrassed at the unwanted attention. You turned to Chris Evans who was laughing his ass off while recording your reaction and everyone else.

“Let’s see your famous vampire moves!” the DJ yelled into the microphone

You yelled over to Lizzie and Scarlett, “Too bad I don’t have my friend to dance with me”

You moved your hips stronger to the rhythm of the song, twirling, making the exact moves you did when you had done that certain episode. You were laughing, carefree, having fun almost forgetting about your embarrassment.

Sebastian was paying attention to both you and the scene playing, he had to watch this show he thought to himself. He always thought you were gorgeous but this scene seeing you with blood, fangs, dancing, turned him on more than anything. However he also wished he was the guy who had been dancing with you for that scene.

Your final move was another sway of your hips, in the show you had ran your finger on your costar’s face to wipe some blood, sucking on it. You did the exact same move to Scarlett who acted like she was fanning herself. The boys and Lizzie laughed at your move, the entire place going crazier.

When the song ended, you shoved Evans, “I hate you!!!” you yelled over to him

“Payback’s a bitch sweetheart” he laughed, you shook your head, “ahhh come on, you know that song brings you back to good old times” he added

“I hate to say it but you’re right” you agreed, the song reminded you of great times with your former castmates

“What about it? You and that guy dated” Sebastian asked curiously

“Ian...no he was dating someone else but he’s still a great friend of mine. We had such a blast filming that part, brings me very fun memories from when I did that show” you explained.

After Evans’ little stunt on you, you guys were all dancing around having a great time. 

The next song to come up was Gimme Gimme by ABBA causing you and the girls to go crazy, the boys only laughed enjoying your excitement.

You, Scarlett and Lizzie made a sandwich between each other, all dancing carefree. You all took turns lip syncing, twirling each other.

You yelling “GIMME GIMME GIMME A MAN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!” with Scarlett and Lizzie doing a supposed back up dancing. 

Sebastian had never seen this side of you, at this moment he really wished you were his girlfriend because he really wanted to kiss you. 

“You should ask her to dance” Robert yelled over to him, motioning to you

Sebastian instantly shook his head, “I can’t...I don’t want to make it awkward plus she’s having fun” he added. 

“Suit yourself” Robert said walking away to get some water

You were all at the lounge for about another two hours, enjoying a night out with each other. 

One of the next songs was I Feel Love by Donna Summer

Sebastian wasn’t going to ask you to dance until he saw you were with Evans’ heading towards the dance floor besides Hemsworth and his wife Elsa dancing next to you and smiling at you both. 

You started to hold Evans’ left hand moving to the beat as it picked up both of you laughing about something. Sebastian looked at Mackie who was smirking at him, “You’ll regret it if you don’t” leaning in closer to Sebastian, “trust me though there’s nothing more going on between those two” he explained referring to you and Chris.

Like clockwork, Sebastian walked over to you and Evans, Lizzie and Scarlett noticed because they called Evans over to dance with them, you were about to follow when you heard Sebastian yell for you. 

“(Y/N), want to dance?” he said smiling shyly

You felt your heart skip a beat, you weren’t sure if it was a good idea because you knew your feelings for Sebastian would probably get worse but you decided to just live in the moment

“Sure!” you yelled, placing your hand onto his, he twirled you first and then you two were moving into a great rhythm to the song

You liked that Sebastian kept you close but still was respectful to your space, its not that you didn’t want to be grinding on him but you also wanted to respect Sebastian. 

At one point he pulled you in close to his face and said, “I really would like to kiss you (Y/N)” 

You looked up at him, you didn’t know what to say at first so you pulled his face down towards yours, playfully licking his nose with your tongue causing him to laugh

“What was that for?” he asked surprised at your action

“I’ve wanted to kiss you too Sebastian” you confessed

With that Sebastian then licked your nose with his tongue while he held your face with both of his hands and then he kissed you passionately. You two kissed each other like there was no tomorrow while still keeping to the beat of Donna Summer’s sultry song.

“Holy shit!!!!” Evans yelled over you two, “fucking finally!!!” he added while the rest of cast cheered you and Sebastian on.

Although the song is almost eight minutes long it felt like two with Sebastian. You two kept dancing, giving each other a few kisses here and there. 

At one point you were all back to your private section again. The final song was 34+35 by Ariana Grande 

“Oh-I love this song!” you yelled

“YOU, innocent (Y/N)?!” Mackie exclaimed

“It’s not that bad” you said defensively 

“Just give me them babieees” you sang loudly but looked at Scarlett, making a come here gesture for her to join you.

You kept singing the song, surprising everyone because you weren’t much into pop let alone a song about explicit sex. The girls joined in including Robert’s wife Susan and Elsa, Hemsworth’s wife.

Sebastian was mesmerized by you in so many ways it drove him crazy.

“Baby, you might need a side belt when I ride it” you acted like you put a seatbelt on, saying your hips like your were riding. 

“I’m living for this” Lizzie chuckled while dancing with you too

“Sebastian...look away” Evans’ said covering Sebastian’s eyes playfully

“Nooo leave him alone” Elsa laughed

After a while, you all started gathering your things to head back to the hotel. Sebastian grabbed your hand, kissing it and smiling at you.

“What” you asked him smiling back

“Nothing, well, would you like to uhm.... go out on a date with me?” he asked you a bit nervous

“I would love to Sebastian” you said

He scrunched his nose in a cute way that he always did when he got nervous or flustered. 

“I can’t wait” he said leaning over to give you a kiss on your forehead

“I told you to ask her to dance” Robert said smiling over at you both.

You were glad that Sebastian had listened.

[marshmallow-phd]

Catching Rain

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Wolf!AU

Pairing: Minseok x Reader

Summary: You were more than satisfied with your life. You attended a nice college, had nice friends, a nice boyfriend. That’s what your life was: nice. You weren’t looking for anything more, so what were you to do when this seemingly harmless boy walked into your life and turned your nice little world into one much more dangerous?

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I Epilogue

**

On closer inspection, the house in the middle of the field was quite pretty. Simple, white, well kept. A secondary building with metal walls sat adjacent to the house – a garage, perhaps. Waiting on the porch was the man from earlier. Baekhyun. Now you remembered his name. He was joined by a few others – Chanyeol, Sehun, and one you didn’t know – who stared at you in curious wonder. Their eyes were wide and investigative, as if you were the supernatural creature and not Minseok.

“Looks like the cat’s out of the bag,” Baekhyun said with a snicker.

“Or pup, in this case,” said the one you didn’t know. Black hair that fell over his forehead and an upturn sat in both corners of his lips, though he wasn’t smiling.

Minseok merely shook his head as he pushed past them into the house. The screen door shut with a loud slam. You flinched at the noise. Chanyeol sighed as he glanced at you. “Would you like something to drink?”

“Yes, please,” you nodded. He motioned for you to follow him inside.

Through a short front parlor and a cozy living room, he led you into the kitchen where you stood awkwardly. The only noise came from the water flowing from the refrigerator spicket. The ice clinked as it moved around the glass. Your eyes wandered across the large, open space. Sunlight poured in from the windows in the two outer walls. It gave the whole room a yellow hue despite the white and light gray coloring of the cabinets and backsplash. Whoever had last designed this room had done so in a way to make it feel bigger and open, welcoming even. You wondered if there must have been a woman living here to give the finer touches. Minseok hadn’t mentioned anyone beyond his male roommates. The thought of a woman living amongst them made you slightly jealous, but you shoved it aside when Chanyeol held out the glass for you.

“Thank you,” you murmured before taking a sip.

He nodded shyly. His foot tapped lightly against the hard wood floor with his hands shoved into his pockets. He looked everywhere except for at you. Feeling eyes on you anyway, you glanced over your shoulder just in time to see several crops of hair disappear from the hallway entrance.

You scoffed. “You guys act like you’ve never seen a female before.”

“Not one like you.”

Minseok stepped into the room wearing a t-shirt with frayed edges where the sleeves had been cut off and a pair of basketball shorts. As angry as you were with him, the distrust still very much apparent, you were fighting the urge to run to him. What was this stupid, conflicting feeling? Making eye contact with Minseok, Chanyeol ducked his head and hurriedly left the kitchen.

“So,” you crossed your arms after putting down the glass and leaned against the counter, “is this the part where you explain to me what the hell is going on?”

“I will, but not here.”

“No, you don’t get to do that!” you snapped. “You didn’t want to tell me in the forest, so we came back here and now you don’t want to tell me here?”

Minseok shrunk back. “I just meant down here. Can we go upstairs? Away from where the others can hear?”

That suggestion could be accepted. Actually, you felt a little bad for exploding, but could you really be blamed? Given the information dump you were steadily receiving today? “Oh. Okay. Lead the way.”

Minseok’s hand twitched at his side, but he kept it in check as he turned and headed back up the stairs. The top spilled out into a hallway lined with doors. This space wasn’t as bright as the kitchen. Different shades of dark brown covered the wooden floor and plaster walls. No windows gave view to the outside making you feel trapped. “This one’s mine,” Minseok said. He held on to a handle of one of the middle doors and waited for you to come closer before pushing it open. When you saw what lied beyond the door, you nearly smiled.

On the walls were posters of famous soccer players and indie movies you’d never heard of. The bed was made with military precision, not a creased comforter or half-strewn pillow in sight. Against the far wall under a singular window was a desk. The notebooks were stacked in the top right corner, the edges so straight a ruler wouldn’t be able to find fault. Pens and pencils occupied a small cup to keep the rest of the desk clear.

“Not what you expected?” Minseok asked as he closed the door.

“Yes and no.” You stole a glance at him over your shoulder. “It’s very… neat.”

Minseok smiled shyly. He shuffled over to the bed and sat down. If he expected you to take the spot next to him, he was wrong. Instead, you chose the chair. A precaution for yourself.

Neither of you knew where to start. Who was supposed to talk first? What part should even be considered the beginning? Unable to continue in this awkward silence, you jumped in feet first.

“You can really… turn into a wolf?” The words felt like glue in your throat. Creatures like that belonged in fairytales and fantasy films, not a college campus.

“Yeah,” Minseok said. “We all can. All nine of us.”

“All nine.” Oh, great. A whole pack of them. “Even the one’s I met?” Stupid question. He’d already answered that, technically. But Minseok simply nodded instead of calling out the redundancy. “So, were you all bitten or-” You felt ridiculous basing the current situation on myth and legend, but what else did you have to go on?

“We’re all born this way. You can’t be like us from a bite or a scratch. It has to be in your DNA.” He snuck a peek before beating you to the next question. “The moon doesn’t really influence us either. I mean, its easier to see by at night in the forest, but it doesn’t force us to change. We can do that whenever we want. Witches have more of a connection with the giant rock in the sky.”

“Witches! They’re real, too? What else is real? Vampires? Dragons? Goblins?” What kind of world had you stumbled into?

Minseok flinched. “Maybe we should stick to one subject at a time.”

“Right.” That was probably best for your sanity. “So, if you have to be born like,” you gestured to him, “… this, does that mean both of your parents were, too?”

“Just my dad,” Minseok said. “Females wolves are extremely rare.”

“Well, that’s sexist.”

“Hey, we didn’t make up the rules. It’s genetics.” He scratched the back of his neck, twitching his lips from side to side. “I guess I should say that silver doesn’t bother us either.”

Why did you feel relieved at that random fact? It didn’t matter, as that wasn’t the most pressing issue to you. “Earlier you mentioned that it wasn’t you killing the campers-”

“It wasn’t any of us!”

“I believe you.” The words tumbled off your lips. And you realized that it was true. You couldn’t twist the nervous, sweet guy in front of you into a mindless killer. The way he was explaining everything slowly, cautiously, giving you time to understand. He wasn’t hiding anything from you. Not anymore. “I’m just confused when you said it was an omega?”

“Its just a ranking system within a pack,” he explained. “Alpha, beta, MR, omega. Junmyeon’s the alpha of our pack, he’s in charge. Yixing and I are betas, second in command. We help enforce Junmyeon’s word and keep an eye on the younger wolves who like to cause mischief.” He chuckled, as if remembering times when said mischief occurred. “The rest are all MR – Mid-ranking. They all have their own duties should they be needed. Well, except for Jongin and Sehun. They’re the youngest wolves so they get special treatment most of the time. Its okay, though. They kind of make you want to take care of them, the way they are.”

You nodded filing all the information away for later recall. “And the omega?”

“A wolf without a pack. Nine times out of ten they were kicked out for defying the alpha, for putting their own interests ahead of the pack. Without that structure, a lot of them turn feral.”

“Nine times out of ten?”

“It’s extremely rare, but sometimes a wolf will choose to never join a pack in the first place. It’s nearly unheard of though. We’re too social of creatures. Nine-point-five out of ten would probably be a better number.”

You couldn’t help the laugh that came out. Of course he would bring up math in a time like this. Minseok laughed along with you. Eventually, though, it died out, along with the smile that had been growing on his lips. “There’s something else I need to tell you.”

Picking up on his mood, you tilted your head to the side. “I don’t think anything else could take me by surprise at this point.” Minseok stared at you pointedly. Your stomach began to sink. What other little secret could he possibly be harboring at this point? You didn’t think anything could be as shocking as his shapeshifting abilities.

“Have you ever heard the expression ‘wolves mate for life’?” he asked cryptically.

“Yeah?”

“Well-” he shifted, crinkling the perfect comforter in the process. “We don’t know why it happens. Junmyeon thinks its nature’s way of compensating our ‘otherness’ while Jongdae just thinks it’s another level of torture.” An uncomfortable laugh. “But, um, every wolf has their own mate. Just one, that they stick with for the rest of their lives.”

Unable to keep looking at him, you leaned forward, resting your elbows on your knees. “So, are you saying that you all get to pick whoever you want as your mate and that’s it? You claim them because of what you are?”

“No!” Minseok jumped to his feet. Swallowing visibly, he cleared his throat, but remained standing. “No, we don’t get to pick. It happens out of nowhere. Our mates are chosen for us before either is born. And we can meet them under any circumstances. Some favorable, some… not so much.”

You looked up at him “What are you trying to say, Minseok?”

He walked up to you, each step hesitant, each step full of fear. Crouching down, he sighed as he looked into your eyes. “What I’m trying to say, (y/n), is that… you’re my mate.”

At first, you only blinked. The words had to be soaked in one at a time before you could piece them together and understand the sentence as a whole. “I- what? How do you even know?”

Reaching out, Minseok took ahold of your hand. You didn’t fight it. The electricity was practically singing between your skins. “Really, all it takes is one look. A few seconds of eye contact and the pull takes hold. But this feeling we both get when we touch, its confirmation. And then there’s this.”

He pulled your hand closer, pressing your palm against his chest. The heat transferring through the thin fabric was enough to make you sweat, but that wasn’t the point of this exercise. It was the rate of which his heart was beating. As he stared at you with awe, his heart sprinted as if it were in second place of a race and needed to pass just one more runner to win.

“Every time I see you, this happens,” Minseok whispered. “It doesn’t matter how good my day has been, its always better when I’m with you.”

“We haven’t even known each other that long.”

“It doesn’t take long, apparently.”

You frowned, confused. “Apparently?”

A small smile pulled up one corner of his mouth. “I’m the first one in the pack to find my mate. The first one to experience this.”

The first…. You wanted to laugh at the romantic angle your brain was seeing this.

A knock came from the door. Minseok stood up, reluctantly dropping your hand before answering the intrusion. “Yeah?”

Several roommates were standing in the hall, all peering around Minseok to get a better look at you.

“Kyungsoo said it was time for dinner,” one of them said. “And that he could hear your mate’s empty stomach from downstairs.”

“And it took all of you to come tell us?” Minseok questioned as he folded his arms. He shifted to block more of the doorway, shielding you from their stares.

“It was an important job,” another one said.

Minseok looked back at you before sighing. “Tell Kyungsoo that I’ll be down in a second.”

“But-”

The door was shut before the argument could be finished. The rush of footsteps faded in the background until it was only the two of you once again.

“Are you hungry?” Minseok asked. You nodded sheepishly. “You don’t have to go downstairs. You can stay here and I’ll bring it up to. Kyungsoo’s a good cook so whatever he made will be delicious.”

“Actually, I’ll go down with you,” you said, to the surprise of both of you. Everything Minseok had told you was still sinking in. There was too much to process and completely comprehend, but the pieces were fitting together. And you were curious about life here. If you really were meant to be his mate, maybe you should know where that road led. It was the right at the fork. You’d uncovered a sign that gave you a clue to where it was headed. You wanted to follow it.

Minseok waited patiently as you stood up and walked towards him. He let you out the door first. There was a moment where your fingers brushed as you passed. You could feel the muscles in his hand tighten. He wanted to take your hand again – and you almost let him. But you held back. There was still something stopping you. Or, rather, a who.

The noise hit you halfway down the stairs. Being told that nine people lived together and truly witnessing it were two very different concepts. There was no order that you could see. Most of the boys sat around the table, conducting multiple conversations at once that overlapped that you had to wonder how they could understand each other. A few sat in a small booth off to the side in a world of their own. It was the kind of breakfast nook you’d only seen before in home magazines. Two boys stood at the counters, their backs to the chaos behind them.

One of them – sporting a very well put together look and black rimmed glasses – turned and smiled at you and Minseok. “There you are. Glad to see you came down.” He held his hand out to you. “I’m Junmyeon.”

“The alpha,” you said as you shook his hand.

“I see Minseok told you most of it,” Junmeyon said.

“Pretty much everything,” Minseok corrected.

You felt your face contort as you tried to pinpoint where you’d seen this man before. “Wait. Aren’t you a professor?”

Junmyeon laughed. “Yeah, I am. In the literature department. Folklore, to be exactly. But I’d prefer if we kept this between us.” He sent you a wink to show he was teasing. Behind you, Misneok growled, making you jump. “I’m just playing, Minseok.”

“And I’m sure he’ll be playing when he rips your head off,” the other stove-top occupant stated. He held out a plate for you piled high with food. There was no way you would be able to eat all of that. “I’m Kyungsoo, by the way.”

“(y/n),” you greeted back. “It’s nice to meet you.” Taking the plate, you tried to hand it off to Minseok.

“No, that’s yours.”

Not wanting to be rude, you said between gritted teeth, “I can’t eat all of this.”

Minseok pinched his face as if debating on something. “Fine. We’ll share.”

“Are you sure about that?” Junmyeon asked. “There won’t be any left over for seconds. You know that.”

“It’ll be fine.”

Shaking his head, Kyungsoo held on to one side of the plate and added another scoop of rice and meat each. “Just in case.”

After thanking him, Minseok guided you over to the table with a hand hovering over your lower back. Even without the contact, you could feel the heat coming from his palm. Or maybe it was just your imagination filling in. Minseok pulled out a chair for you on the empty end before sitting next you. It was obvious he’d purposefully placed you away from the others.

“Possessive much?” Baekhyun snorted as he dug into a plate of his own.

“I’m sure it’s just instinct.” The comment came from one of the more slender boys – Boys? Wolves? You weren’t sure how to address them properly. Maybe later. Your brain needed a break. The one who had spoken had a very pointed face, but in a way that was still handsome. You weren’t sure if you’d seen him before or not.

“That’s Yixing,” Minseok said. “And the last one to meet, I guess, is Jongdae.”

Jongdae turned out to be the curled-lip one who still wasn’t smiling. In fact, he was the only one not in some level of a cheerful mood as he sat in the breakfast booth. He barely looked at you while everyone else was. Some were even blatantly staring at you as they shoveled in food to their mouths.

“You should eat.” Minseok picked up a fork and stabbed a slice of marinade-covered meat, holding it out for you to eat like a child.

“I can do that myself, thanks.” You took the fork and chewed slowly on the meat. It was good. More than good, really, so you took another bite and another. Soon, you were full, though there was more than half a plate left. You scooted the plate over to Minseok. “Okay, your turn.”

“You’re done? Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m stuffed.”

Minseok didn’t reach for the other fork he’d grabbed, as if giving you a chance to change your mind. When you made no such move, he dug in. You smiled at the way he ate, enjoying every bite with satisfaction. At the sight of every plate being empty, Baekhyun stood up. “I’m going to watch a movie,” he announced.

“Oh, that sounds like a good idea!” Jongin said.

Yixing asked, “Which one?”

Baekhyun shrugged. “I don’t know. Whatever’s new. (Y/n), want to join us?”

Minseok cut in. “I don’t know if that-”

“I’d love to!” You turned to Minseok and gave him a cheeky smile. It felt a bit defiant. Perhaps he wanted to explain more to you or spend time with you alone in general, but you wanted to know how this group operated together. You wanted insight to their normalcy. Getting to your feet, you picked up the plate, but Junmyeon reached over and took it from you.

“Don’t worry about this. We’ll clean up.”

“But-”

The alpha wouldn’t have it. “You’re the guest. Shoo.”

More than happy with that argument (dishes weren’t your thing by a long shot), you followed the cluster of excited men to the living room. They crashed on nearly every surface – the couch, the chairs, the floor, anywhere they could fit. Minseok approached Jongin and Sehun who had taken a corner of the long couch.

“Move,” he ordered.

“But we were here first!” Sehun whined. Jongin look over to you and then got up without a word, sitting down on the floor with his back against the coffee table.

“Sehun….”

“You’re really going to kick the youngest off the comfortable seat?”

You tried to break up the awkward exchange. Well, it was awkward for you since you were the reason for the discussion. “It’s fine, really. I can sit on the floor.”

“You’re not sitting on the floor,” Minseok told you. To Sehun, he said, “I’m the eldest and she’s a guest. Please move.”

For a second nothing happened. Then Sehun huffed. “Fine.” He got up and joined Jongin on the floor. He lied down on his stomach and pulled out his phone, over it already. You felt bad but saw no point in arguing. Minseok let you sit first and then, once again, sat between you and Chanyeol, who happily occupied the other side of the couch.

Baekhyun flipped through a streaming service until he landed on a superhero movie. Everyone cheered at the choice, then quieted down as he pressed play. Someone turned out the lights so only the glow of the television remained.

Sitting shoulder to shoulder and leg to leg, you were hyper aware of Minseok. Arms crossed over your stomach and fists clenched, you told yourself repeatedly not to reach for his hand or lean on his shoulder no matter how heavy your eyelids were getting. Erik may have hit pause on your relationship, but there wasn’t much of a discussion of lines. You didn’t know the rules of that scenario and what was and wasn’t allowed. But as your tiredness grew, your willpower weakened. After a few bobs, your head landed softly on Minseok’s shoulder. It was too comfortable to move. It felt too nice, too right. Like his shoulder was the one you were always supposed to lean on. And that was when Minseok made a move of his own.

Holding your head up, he adjusted his arm so it was now draped over your shoulders. Your head rested against his chest when he laid you back down. Something vibrated against your cheek. Was that… purring? No, it had to be the booming from the movie. Right?

It didn’t take long for you drift into sleep. The movie was one you’d seen before so you couldn’t use that as an excuse to stay awake. You weren’t sure how long it had been. A slight bopping motion roused you. In the shallowness of your conscious you made out that you were being carried. Carried up stairs… and into a bedroom. While still holding you, that person managed to pull back the covers and tuck you into bed. As the arm slipped away you grabbed hold of the wrist. Through the slightest slits in your eyes you could make out Minseok’s silhouette.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he whispered. “Go back to sleep. I’ll take the couch downstairs.”

“No. Stay.”

He froze at your request. “Are you sure?”

“Please.”

Even in the darkness, you could see him smiling. “Okay.” Shutting the door, he peeled back the covers once more and slid in beside you. Happy wasn’t even close to how you felt when he pulled you in close to his chest. You drifted back to sleep with a smile on your face.

[mylovehes]

Bad Call

Masterlist

Summary: Reader doesn’t wait for backup and gets kidnapped and tortured.

A/N: REQUESTS ARE OPEN!! Any feedback is also appreciated!

Pairing: Spencer x Reader, mentions of the team

Angst with a little fluff (warning mentions of torture and abuse)

I knew it was a bad call. I knew I should have called and waited for backup before chasing the unsub into a big abandoned building. However, everyone makes bad judgment calls eventually in this job. I couldn’t let this guy get away and kill more women just because I was waiting for help. I thought I could take him on my own. I mean I had my gun with me. Unfortunately the universe wasn’t on my side and moments after creeping into the abandoned warehouse after the killer I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head as I hit the ground, gun sliding across the floor as my vision went black.

I woke up in a log cabin house with hands and feet chained to the floor allowing little access to move. I tried pulling on the chains with no luck. Soon after waking up I heard heavy foot steps coming down the stairs to my left. 

“Look who’s awake,” the unsub named Larry Peterson said smirking down at me. He is currently wanted for the murder of 15 women and as fate would have it I fit his victimology to a T. I glared up at the man from where I was sitting on the floor. “I think it’s time to get the party started. What do you think? I hope your friends like movies.” He grabbed a hold of the chains attached to my wrists. As he pulled I noticed they were attached to a pulley that hoisted my body off the ground to where my feet were barely touching the ground now.

“What are you talking about,” I said struggling against the cuffs that were now digging into my skin. He placed a laptop and video camera up directly in front of me. I noticed the red light turn on realizing he was sending a live feed to the BAU. At least this way Garcia can try to trace it back to my location and everyone will know for sure what happened to me. However, I didn’t want them to have to witness what was about to happen, especially not Spencer. He’s been through so much, he doesn’t need to possibly witness another girlfriend being murdered at the hands of an unsub. 

“Say hello to the BAU Y/N,” he said said grabbing my face and aiming it at the camera so they could clearly tell it was me. “Now normally I don’t like an audience,” Larry said while picking up a sharp knife, “but I think the an FBI agent warrants an exception.” He slid the knife across my skin as I groaned in pain trying not to give him what he wanted which were my screams.

-

Meanwhile at the BAU everyone was frantically trying to figure out where Peterson would have possibly taken Y/N. Garcia was unable to locate where the feed was coming from and everyone else was at a complete loss. The furthest they got was narrowing down that she was in a cabin isolated in the forest. Unfortunately for the team there were hundreds of cabins in the woods and it would be impossible to try every single one.

Spencer was slowly losing his mind mad at himself for not going with her to check out the abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town. He was the first to notice his girlfriend was missing, everyone quickly rushing to her last known whereabouts and finding nothing but blood and a note from the unsub saying he had Y/N in his possession.

No matter how hard everyone tried they could not get Spencer away from the computer screen that displayed Y/N being beaten and tortured. Spencer felt sick listening to her screams of agony but he couldn't bring himself to walk away in fear he'd miss even the smallest clue. If she had given him a clue so far, he had not caught it. 

-

My whole body was on fire. I had been cut, hit, and tased repeatedly for what felt like hours upon hours which in reality was only one hour since he began the torture. I didn’t have the strength to fight back and there was no way I was getting out of these chains without help so I figured the only thing I could do that might help my team catch Peterson was to get him talking.

“Wow mommy really did a number on you huh?” I said spitting blood out of my mouth towards him. 

“What did you just say to me?” He said stepping closer to me threatening me with his glare. 

“What are you deaf? I said, your mommy really did a number on you didn't she? I mean you obviously enjoy hurting women for a reason,” I said hoping to strike some kind of nerve and get him to slip up. 

“Shut the hell up!” He screamed stepping away from me.

“Oh struck a nerve have I? Let me guess. She used to abuse you didn't she, physically and mentally 24/7? I bet you felt real powerless.”

“I said shut the hell up bitch!” He yelled again slamming his fist on the table and grabbing the pitcher on the edge of the table. 

“Are you the one who killed her? This is her place from her mother right? I bet that's how you got this nice cabin because a deadbeat like you obviously wouldn’t have the financials to cover a place this nice and big,” I emphasized hoping maybe the size of the cabin could help narrow down their search somewhat. 

“Maybe this will teach up to keep your mouth shut,” he said roughly grabbing my chin and pouring the contents of the pitcher down my mouth and nose basically water boarding me. The liquid in the pitcher was salt water and it made my whole body hiss in pain from the various cuts scattered everywhere causing me to scream in agony. I begin laughing in a hazy way, about to faint from the pain my body is experiencing. Hopefully the team could track down who the cabin actually belonged too. Before I could think about it too long I glanced at the camera one last time before passing out again.

-

Spencer gasped as he realized what Y/N was hinting at and flew to Garcia’s lair. “Garcia I need you to look up Larry Peterson’s grandmother and find out if she owned any property. I think that might be where he is keeping her.” Garcia quickly typed in the information finding an address that was in the middle of the woods.

“That looks like a nice big cabin in the middle of woods just like what we’re looking for doesn’t it,” Garcia said smiling hopefully at Reid.

“Yes, send us all the address. She has to be there,” Spencer said running out to tell the rest of the team. 

Everyone quickly headed to the address Garcia sent them hopping out of the SUVs and putting on their vests. Spencer and JJ took the back with Hotch and Emily taking the front. Morgan and Rossi entered through the side door. 

-

I awoke to the painful shocking of the taser and a hand over my mouth. As I came to I could hear the sounds of foot steps above me. I tried to scream to let the team know I was downstairs through the trapdoor that Peterson had revealed to me was there but securely hidden. 

“They’ll never find you down here so stop screaming,” He said whispering into my ear. Tears began to pour down my face knowing my team was so close but not being able to find me. I took what little bit of strength I had left and with all my force I bit Peterson’s hand and swung my legs back hitting him just hard enough to get his hand off of my mouth.

“Spencer!” I screamed as loud as I could before the hand once again found my mouth and the taser found its way back into my side. Screams of pain left my lips, muffled from the ears upstairs. 

“Did you guys hear that,�� Spencer said causing everyone to freeze.

“Yeah it sounded like it was coming from below us,” Emily said.

“Hey guys check this out,” Morgan said. I could hear the familiar sound of the carpet being dragged back and then the trap door to the stairs being opened up. 

Peterson’s hand left my mouth and I heard the sound of a gun being cocked beside my head. He pointed the gun towards the stairs, taser still pressed into my side. As I heard the steps begin to descend the stairs I realized he was probably going to shoot whoever came down.

“Wait he has a gun!” I screamed in warning. That distracted Peterson as he once again tased me causing me to cry out. The foot steps descended faster and soon everyone came into view. Tears sprung to my eyes as I saw Spencer. I could tell by the look on his face that he did not handle me being kidnapped well at all. 

“Put the gun down Peterson,” Spencer said aiming the gun at him. However, no one had a clear shot because he was using my body as a shield. 

“Take one more step and I’ll shoot her!” He yelled back aiming the gun at my head that hung down, me no longer having the strength to hold it up myself. 

“You shoot her and we shoot you,” Hotch said beside Spencer, gun aimed and ready. 

“There’s no way out of this Peterson you killed 15 women and kidnapped and tortured an FBI agent,” JJ said coming around to Spencer’s other side.

Peterson let out a spine chilling chuckle. He quickly pressed the button on the taser one last time causing me to scream in pain as he had turned the voltage as high as it would go before shocking me one last time. He then pulled the trigger of the gun, a loud bang going off. The taser fell from my side as Peterson hit the ground. He had shot himself. 

“Hotch, JJ, unhook the cuffs. I got her,” Spencer said wrapping his arms around my body.

“I knew you’d figure it out,” I smiled lazily at him, vision beginning to fade into the darkness. 

“Come on Y/N stay with me,” He said carrying me up the stairs. “I love you baby I just got you back stay with me now.”

“I love you too Spence,” I said and that's the last thing I remember besides being loaded into an ambulance.

-

As I woke up the first thing I noticed was the unbearably bright light. The next thing I noticed was the pain all over my body but more specifically my side. Oh yeah that’s right I was repeatedly tased. I groaned shifting and opening my eyes. The small moment caused the curly haired man asleep in the chair beside my bed to stir.

“Y/N you're awake,” Spencer said smiling at you. His smile quickly turned to a frown. “ What the hell were you thinking!” He yelled at me.

“I’m sorry Spence I made a bad call,” I whispered looking down.

“I was so worried about you. I thought I lost you,” He said tears falling from both of our eyes. He pushed his forehead against mine wiping my tears.

“You didn’t lose me. I’m right here,” I said reaching up and brushing his tears away as well.

“I love you so much. I’m so glad you’re okay,” He said pressing his lips to mine in a sweet kiss. 

“I love you too. I’m sorry,” I said again kissing him back. When he pulled back there was a knock on the door and in came the rest of the team giving me hugs and telling me to get better soon.

“The doctor said you’re going to be fine, but you have to take it easy for a little while until your injuries heal,” Hotch said being the last one, besides Spencer, in the room. 

“Really Hotch I’m fine I don't need time off,” I said trying to sit up more and groaning from the sharp pain in my side.

“You’re taking time off until you’re better Y/N and that's an order. Get well soon,” he said giving me a half smile before closing the door on his way out.

“They want to keep you overnight for observation,” Spencer said smiling at me.

“Will you stay with me,” I said giving him puppy dog eyes that I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist. 

“Of course anything for you,” he said. I scooted over in the bed to make room for Spencer and he climbed onto the bed and wrapped me in his arms as we both drifted off to sleep. Spencer leaving a light kiss to my head.

[iwriteficsandmore]

A Little Piece of You

Oh shit, haha! Forgot to put a preview here. Hi! I’m alive! Have been busy writing for my other WIPs but wanted to get this out here bc I love you guys and also this was a cute af soulmate au. Thanks to @insanemarshmallow for the wonderful explanation of this chibi soulmate AU! Also god bless the settphel pairing of league of legends. It gave me the right amount of inspiration for a cute and angtsy oneshot :D

For a child, it's a wondrous thought the one of knowing you would one day find a soulmate. Even more so when you constantly saw it everywhere you went. People going about their lives with cute tiny versions of that one person that belonged with them and whom they were to spend the rest of their lives with. It was a fairytale on its own. One that became yours to live once you turned eighteen and that little piece of them came to you. It was a strange thing to see it happen, but just as great as you thought it'd be when a tiny version of your soulmate hatched from its egg. It had been born alongside you, a reminder that you, too, had someone waiting for you once you grew. You took care of that egg when young knowing how precious it was after hearing so many stories of happily ever afters. And now you finally had it. Alive. 

The first thing that came out of the shell when it broke were red feathers. They poked out somewhat matted and ruffled as it finally emerged and huge amber eyes met yours. His tiny hands ruffled his dark blonde hair back. Chills ran down him as he shook himself out of his stupor and traveled from his head all the way to his toes and tiny wings, sprouting at the end like a blown-up balloon. He was adorable. And the first and only thing he said was his name: Keigo. Finally, you had your very own soulmate! 

But...the experience of having a soulmate was tiring to say the least. 

You didn't know if it was just Keigo, but taking care of this particular red bird was a full-time job. Quirks were already a problem to deal with in and of themselves. But that the small part of your soulmate's soul could readily use those wings of his to fly all around your house was a bigger problem in itself. When you got him at first you thought about keeping him in a cage whenever you had to go out and couldn't take him with you. The first few times, though, you noted how sad he was when you came home. The way he clung to you every time you let him out and how those massive tears welled up in his eyes broke you inside. You threw that cage away after a week of having it. Having no place to keep him however meant that you needed to teach him to be careful. If Keigo wanted to be free, he needed to be careful lest he be taken away or hurt. Little Keigo didn't take that lesson fully to heart until after a little incident with a cat. After that, he would stay close to you whenever you took him outside with you. It took almost a full year to get used to him, but once you did, it was like you two had been together for your whole life. 

Little Keigo was fun to be around with, always enjoying the things you did with him. His taste for chicken got you to learn plenty of new recipes. He slept soundly with you, his little hands always cradling your thumb when he slept in the palm of your hand. And those feathers. You kind of figured what his Quirk was simply by the way he would control all those feathers on his crimson wings. Thing was that he would try to help you at times with things a little too heavy for him which was both worrying and sweet in equal measures. 

Sadly not everything was nice. Not long after he was born did you notice that he began showing signs of pain. Always different places but very visibly hurting. Like someone was hitting or hurting him somehow. You knew the wounds wouldn't show, but seeing him always tired and in pain for days on end would cause your heart to ache to no end. There were also times when his feathers would simply fall with no explanation. It wasn't him controlling them either. They would simply fall and turn a dark brown like petals falling from flowers. And in a way, it was, because when that happened, it would take several days for new ones to grow. Although you were saddened that he was grumpy and glum from being unable to fly, a part of you was also glad. Only when his feathers fell like that did he ever seem to take any breaks and rest. 

'It's your soulmate,' your mother said when you asked her. 'He's reacting to the soul bond between them. There's nothing you can do except wait it out with him.'

And it's exactly what you did. You never questioned it nor chastised him. You knew it wouldn't serve any purpose. Instead, you took care that Keigo wouldn't suffer anymore from your end than his counterpart was already going through. It still hurt though, seeing him hurting. But what stung your heart the most was the way that sometimes tears would just spring from him out of the blue. It happened during the middle of the night almost always and when that crying woke you up, it tore at your heart that you could do nothing more than hold him close and soothe that tiny part of his soul. 

A couple more years went by like that—sometimes painfully, most rather joyfully—until you figured it out. 

It was during dinnertime. Now that you were out of home and living by yourselves in a little apartment close to campus, it was usually spent doing exactly that, eating. But that particular day, Keigo wanted to watch TV. It's not something you did often. You were what they called a country bumpkin through and through. Though you had the resources, you seldom were on the web unless necessary for a task. You had a TV when you lived with your folks but aside from watching cartoons every now and then you never really paid it any attention. The one you had in your tiny apartment was one that had been left behind by the previous tenant. Just a small box with antennas that worked only when it wanted. Complying with his request, you somehow made it work, having it close enough for him to watch while you both ate. And it was while chewing through a serving of yakitori, you saw him.

Keigo. A much, much bigger version. And he was saving people and beating villains on network television. To say you almost choked to death would be an understatement. Keigo—your cute, little Keigo—was the Number Three Hero in all of Japan. The hero known as Hawks. Disbelief was what struck you first and hard. But the more your little Keigo, that little piece of him that resembled the hero to a T, pointed at the flickering screen with a larger than life smile on his face, the more you knew there was no denying the truth. But how? How had you missed such a huge thing for so long? Sure your upbringing explained it a bit. That your parents weren't big hero fans in general also added to it. But that could only hide everything for a little while. Maybe the first year. But for the last four?

God, you seriously needed to see an eye doctor from how damn blind you were. 

You were still baffled as could be when you and Kei went out to the convenience store if only to get your mind out of things. But there was no time for you to space out when, out of the blue, Keigo suddenly perked up and flew away from his perch on your shoulder. Utterly freaking out when it was this late at night, you chased after the fast little pigeon, turning corner after corner and getting more lost the longer you did. You dodged some random people who were on their late night stroll or going back home from work apologizing all the way as you chased after that little red fluff of feathers as quick as you could. Finally, when he was getting too far, you shouted his name in an attempt to get him to slow down. He turned a corner, you did too—and crashed right into someone.

A hand firmly grasped your arm to stop you from falling back almost instantly. You hurriedly apologized not wanting to lose Keigo. But when the person spoke up, you froze in your tracks.

"Y/n?"

Almost instantly, your head snapped upward and met amber eyes. Rather familiar ones at that with those delineations on those eyes. The name spilled from little lips almost instantly without you even noticing.  

"Keigo?"

A soft glow took both of your attentions and made you face to the side were a couple of little things were floating in midair. It was your little Keigo and in his arms...a tiny version of you. Both were giddily giggling as he spun them in midair with his wings. The glow that caught your sight had been the one they were emanating as they danced. A glow that, like you'd been told by your mother long ago, meant that you and your soulmate had finally found one another and were truly bonded. Out of breath as you were, it took you a second to finally turn back to the man before you. 'Keigo,' you reminded yourself. Before you could say anything, he let out a hearty laughter that reached his eyes as he took off the baseball cap he had on letting windswept blonde tresses fall over his face. Curious how on him it was a rather handsome look instead of cute. 

"Who would've thought, huh?" As he laughed again, he reached out his hand to the two tiny versions of yourselves. Your little Keigo brought themselves back to the palm of his hand, the two holding hands and bumping their foreheads against each other like little doves. "Y'know, I always thought the little you was cute. Never thought you'd be this lovely in real life."

"T-Thank you." Dumb, yes, but you had no idea what else to say. Your brain was fried after all these surprises in less than 24 hours! The No.3 hero—your soulmate—was before you, and it was far more than you could take at the moment. When you noticed him staring, it finally brought back some of that notorious self-consciousness of yours as you fidgeted in your own shoes. "S-Sorry! It's a bit of a shock to find you, well, here. Now. And god, I can't believe this is happening now when I just found out about you."

Those amber eyes grew a bit quizzical at her statement. "What do you mean?" You were embarrassed to admit that you barely had put two and two together about his identity which got another laugh from him. "Honestly, not surprising." He reached up to ruffle the little you's head lovingly as a tender smile came to his face. "You never liked watching TV or playing with my phone. I always carry a book with me because you like to read so much. I never thought it'd take this long to find each other."

"How long have you been a hero?" you asked, curious.

"Since I was eighteen."

Oh. That explained so much. Yet nothing at all at the same time. Wanting to start things again, you cleared your throat and stood in front of him as your little Keigo returned to your side, sitting on your shoulder with a proud grin. "H-How about we start again? I'm y/n, it's nice to meet you, Kiego-san."

Keigo chuckled as the little you returned to the safety of his shirt pocket, peeking out from under the flap with as wide a smile as his. "It's nice to meet you, too, y/n."

[saladejin]

Call An Uber? | 21

BTS x Reader | idolverse au, uber driver!Reader, translator!Reader | Fluff, flirting, super slow burn, angst and hurt/comfort, mature themes and eventual smut

Summary: Your normal life with a normal, yet inconsistent job gets drastically changed when your dreams come true. Sounds boring right?

What happens when all of this occurs, but you’re still doing something you love AND getting a large sum for it? Now there’s something to think about, and it’s definitely not what you’re thinking.

Warnings: Angst with some fluff, cursing

Word Count: 3k

A/N: Re-reading this through is so weird to me. I’m sorry for all the angst, I hope you guys forgive me T_T

< masterpost >

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  Bold = English

 Books, clothes, equipment… It didn’t matter what was, if it was in my way it was getting shoved in my haste to reach the phone. It was like I could feel the storm of anger awaiting me on the other side of the hotel door, but priorities did come first. Soojin could go fuck herself for all I cared at the moment.

My thumb hovered over the tiny green telephone symbol for longer than necessary. Was it urgent enough to put above my job at the moment? I wouldn’t be surprised if my mother had just pocket called me or drank a little too much. It was too strange to have any positive implications. To be frank, I was probably trying too hard to convince myself otherwise because the opportunity to stall was too tempting to ignore.

Anyone who knew me well would know just how much I loved to procrastinate problem solving. Long lasting ones weren’t an exception in any case.

“(Y/n), you finally showed up.”

What? Fuck, I must have tapped it while I was lost in my brain.

“Mother,” I responded through gritted teeth. 

Trepidation weighed my tone down to the floor.

Then there was a silence that made me feel as unsure as ever. If you asked me to explain the feelings caused by the echoingly empty sound, I couldn’t tell you. It was as if she was carefully handpicking her next words. Tiptoeing so cautiously around her thoughts, just in case I didn’t like what she had to say and barred myself away once more.

She’s too foolish to understand that I can see through her, even if she’s not physically here.

I fiercely fought down the urge to grind my teeth in anger and chose to wait patiently instead. If she had to take the time to think about what she was saying, then she obviously wanted to be in my favour somehow. I could not for the life of me understand how she’d possibly thought that was a scenario that existed, but apparently it did.  

“Honey … how have you been these days?”  

A surge of bile bubbled up through my windpipe. This problem was becoming borderline toxic.

“You better get to the point before I hang up,” I seethed. The plan was to keep my tone calm and neutral but there was no way the hurt wasn’t going to seep through the cracks. Hearing how fake and desperate she’d become just single-handedly destroyed what little snippet of respect I had left, buried deeply somewhere there in my heart.

She scoffed almost soundlessly before heeding the request.

“Fine, if it’s really going to be this way. I need money. Your dumbass father has gone and crashed the car again, but this time he’s pretty messed up. We can’t afford all these bills and I really need some booze if I’m gonna stay sane in this shithole. You’re the only child still attached to us so you’re going to be the one to get your dunce of a dad out of debt.”

I felt my chest tighten the longer she spoke, albeit rather roughly, but the words were still heavy with wrenching information. I didn’t know exactly how to feel, but I knew this whole situation would be a hell of a lot easier without the tugging family ties making me second guess everything.

“Hold on, how bad is the accident?” I growled, trying to ignore the rest of her sentence about alcohol and shitholes. The thought of my own father being severely injured made my heart skip a beat in sudden fear. It wasn’t too bad, was it?

“Pretty damn bad, I guess. He was in the ER, and I’m sure the doctor said something about rehab? Acute rehab? Ugh, can’t remember.”

This is terrible, and she can barely bring herself to care!

Tears unwillingly pricked at the corners of my eyes and I furiously blinked them away.

“Is he on life support or something?”

“Not anymore. Dunno why he’s still being a dickhead and drink driving everywhere. Something was bound to happen eventually, and if it was up to me they should have slapped a band aid on it and sent him on his way. These fancy doctors just want to leech money from us.”

“You realise that money is what kept him alive, right?” I murmured in disbelief. There was a raging war of conflict taking place in my mind, and I couldn’t even fathom how she was being so nonchalant about all of it. Her own husband had almost died, and she was blaming the hospital for their crippling poverty.

“(Y/n), darling…”

There it was again, that wickedly sweetened voice that could only be a feeble attempt at manipulation at this point.

“I’m only going to think about it for the sake of life and death, I literally can’t believe how fucking disgusting you are. Don’t consider me attached to you ever again,” I choked out in a haze of fury. I could feel every shred of dignity and hope I had left for my family burn away into cloudy ash before me.

“I should have known better.”

And with that I hung up. The silence was too deafening, too close and invasive to be even remotely comfortable. I didn’t even know why the disappointment and vindication was hitting so hard and fast either, because in the back of my worrisome mind I always knew that nothing good could come from such a reach.

Wishful thinking. It seemed to be something I lived by too closely.

My eyes blurred with a watery film as I brought the phone screen upwards again. Soojin was waiting for me like a brewing storm outside, but I knew that I just couldn’t stitch myself back together for a meeting mere minutes after feeling my tendrils of a childhood slip away from me.

‘Can you come in here for a minute or two? It’s okay if you and Yoongi left already.’

I sent the text to Namjoon after a second of hesitation. I knew normally I would’ve dealt with the emotion and carefully hidden it away to move on with my working life. I wouldn’t have allowed anyone see past the drawn curtains into the darkness behind, but things had changed drastically over the past few months.

Since I had pulled that stupid stunt and distanced myself from everyone I cared about, things had changed. Yoongi’s words rang clearly through my head again and again like a broken record.

“You could’ve talked to us, we wouldn’t just ignore you if it was about something serious. Jesus, especially if you were feeling depressed. (Y/n), please…”

Then Taehyung’s.

“This is why you can’t hide your feelings. At least talk to one person, a close friend or something, because I know you haven’t…”

“I’m here.”

I sniffled in surprise as the hotel door clicked shut suddenly. Namjoon was by my side in less than a moment, breaths coming out in quiet pants even though he seemed to be trying his best at controlling the strained puffs of air.

“Oh God, you really ran back here for me?” I sighed, trying to tip my head back to get rid of the annoying things called tears.

“I was only down the hall, trust me,” Namjoon assured softly, taking notice of my sorry state of emotions and instantly switching his gaze to one full of concern. I watched as his perceptive eyes trailed down the length of my arm to the phone clasped into my shaking palms.

“(Y/n) …”

I almost jumped in my skin when he moved to slowly unclasp my fingers from around the warm device. The man took the rectangular object and slid it carefully onto the surface of the bedside table before taking a seat beside me on the bed. His honeyed voice was nothing but soothing to the ears.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

Then I spilled it all, like a broken dam rushing to meet what physics required of it. His eyes hardened as I spoke about my mother and her overall attitude, but softened when I couldn’t help voicing my newfound conflictions. I wasn’t surprised to find myself cradled into his broad chest by the end of it.

“A-and Taehyung had just pretty much convinced me to try reaching out to them last night. Now I’m forced into making a decision I don’t even want to find myself making. It’s just that…if he dies I will never forgive myself, and I really, really fucking hate that.”

I was almost ready to openly cry into the flimsy polyester shirt he wore, but once again I found myself holding back in fear of losing face. I never knew why I just couldn’t let it all go for once in my life. Maybe it was something too utterly routine after years and years of practice.

“Nobody can blame you for feeling that way about your own father, (Y/n). It’s like a natural instinct to try and protect those closest to you,” Namjoon murmured lowly. I let my eyes droop shut as I tuned into the rumblings coming from his chest.

“That’s the thing. I’m not close to them at all.”

A hollow sigh was next. His body relaxed further as he grew used to the feeling of my tears sinking through his exercise shirt, because even though he was the one to bring me into the reassuring hold, he still wasn’t accustomed to such a close proximity with someone other than his bandmates. I felt so indebted to him in every way.

“Even so, it’s family. You feel this connection that no-one else can, and even if you don’t like who they are as people, there will always be a love there that you might think is just too unexplainable. Now that I think about it, your nature to care about others probably made you even more susceptible.”

I couldn’t help but widen my eyes. He was always able to just come out and spin my thoughts into the words I couldn’t come up with. He just seemed to understand the very world we lived in, along with all of its nasty people and ideologies, in a way I struggled to. I was shocked at how he was able to take any point of view, turn it around to see the other side of it, and grasp the concept just as easily. An optimistic part of it, nonetheless.

“Namjoon, why are you just so amazing?” I chuckled after a minute of contemplative silence. He’d fidgeted slightly when I hadn’t responded, wondering if he’d done something wrong or made things worse. He was a little goofy sometimes, but nobody could deny how brilliant he truly was as a person.

“I’m not really,” He huffed bashfully, and I was shocked again when I felt one of his large hands come up to stroke my hair in comfort. It was so weirdly easy to be comforted by him after such a stressful morning.

“It’s just easy to see why you’re feeling the way you are. Take my advice and think hard about what you want to do about it.”

I felt the pad of a finger wipe away the last of my salty tears from my skin. The action was so sweet I couldn’t help but lift my head to meet his heartwarming gaze. The sight of his slight smile and tiny dented dimples made my heart almost stutter to a halt.

“In the end, they may only be using you and may only continue to turn a blind eye to the wonderful daughter they have, but at least you know you did what you believed was right. Use the love they may not feel to love yourself and the person you are.”

“Namjoon, stop before I…”

Taehyung I wish you could look, because this is me opening up. It’s ugly isn’t it?

More tears suddenly flowed and for once I couldn’t hold it back anymore. Namjoon’s face fell as I sobbed loudly into his chest, the liquid remorse tumbling out unstoppably. I couldn’t see his saddened expression of relief, but I knew I wasn’t alone in feeling the pent up tension flow away along with the waterworks. His muffled ‘shh, it’s gonna be fine’ and gentle strokes of encouragement to my head began gradually replacing the emotions with joyous ones.

I felt so much appreciation and love for the man it almost hurt.

“I haven’t cried in front of anyone since primary school, up until this morning in the hallway and now here,” I whimpered after a few minutes, almost letting myself doze off to the feeling of his presence enveloping me. How long had it even been?

“I’m just glad you even told me as much as you did. Taehyung might have mentioned that a few of us could see your pain, even if you didn’t know it was there yourself,” Namjoon said after clearing his throat slightly. I felt bad that I’d forced him into staying with me through the bout of misery, but his words violently struck more than one chord.

Yeah, and he also mentioned something else.

I was suddenly reminded of Taehyung’s big revelation from the night prior. The feelings they all had for me. I forced myself to keep my eyes trained forward, but there was no way Namjoon hadn’t noticed the way my body tensed up all of a sudden.

I can’t ask him about it now, or confirm it. They’re in the middle of a busy schedule and I also have stuff to deal with. I’m going to have to wait until we’re back in Korea to confront them about it.

I relaxed again and finally removed myself from Namjoon. He looked up at my standing figure with slight confusion, not really being sure of my stability or composure just yet. I could only sigh to let us both know that I was feeling a hell of a lot better than before.

I took one amused moment to glance over his slightly ruffled black tresses, probably having little to no effort put into the style for a day such as this one. Soft hours were now open in the messy hotel room.

“Thank you so much, I really needed … all of that,” I smiled crookedly, indicating that I was ready to move on with my life and away from the dilemma of my family for now. Namjoon got to his feet quickly after almost knocking over the vase of flowers on the bedside table. He grunted in surprise while I laughed and grabbed for his flailing hand to help keep him steady.

“It’s fine, you know it always is. You’ve been through more shit this morning than most go through in a week or months. I’d say you deserve a shoulder to cry on whenever you need one,” he spoke seriously and nodded, averting his widened eyes down to where I still held his hand within my own. These guys really did love a lot of hand attention, I did come to find after all this time.

“You’re sent from the heavens Joonie,” I chuckled airily, feeling so many feelings but nowhere near as crushingly as I had earlier.

“You confused me with you, angel,” He replied abruptly, moving with a confidence I rarely saw to shift a stray lock of hair away from my face. His smile was so warm and his line incredibly cheesy, but I felt something within me snap. The love was too intense for me to overlook.

I stepped forward and reached up to cradle his smiling cheeks into my palms. There was a need to rise onto my tiptoes before my lips finally grazed his in a very restricted but needy kiss. I fought back a smile when I felt his muscles slacken in absolute shock, but then he was returning everything wholeheartedly. His large hands pulled me closer by the waist and his lips started moving against mine just as surely, as if it were something that had been waiting to happen for too long.

I almost felt myself get lost in the sensation, but something nagged at me the further I slipped away into the moment.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” I gasped, pulling away reluctantly and squeezing my eyes shut in burning shame. I was embarrassed of myself for not upholding the pact I’d created about leaving the whole feelings thing until later on, plus I had basically thrown myself at him without giving anything resembling a warning.

“Why are you sorry? I think you just made me the happiest man on Earth,” Namjoon protested in shock, eyes wide and hands spread open to anticipate any sudden movements I made to escape. His cheeks were flushed a rosy pink and I found it undeniably gorgeous to contrast his complexion.

“I promised to leave it, but I just couldn’t control myself. Can we finish this-”

I made a little circular motion with one finger.

“-once we get back to Korea? I just have to speak to everyone.”

Namjoon nodded and agreed tentatively. I could tell by the way his brows furrowed slightly that he’d probably figured out the reasoning behind my request, but he would have to wait to question Taehyung at another time. I inwardly thanked him for his overarching awareness.

“If you see Tae, tell him I’m alright and that he needs to stop blaming himself. I know he’s probably taking the whole Soojin thing badly. I’ll fix it all,” I continued in a more level tone of voice, bringing back the sense of professionalism as I began thinking of how I was going to go about this predicament.

“Of course. Good luck out there,” He gave my shoulder an awkward pat before moving towards the door. I sighed regretfully as the leader left without another word, the strange tension lingering but somehow not becoming an overpowering force.

It’s your own fault. You went and kissed him, so now you’ve gone and confused everyone and yourself.

I didn’t know what lay in store for me now, as the news would surely spread like an untamed wildfire; stemming from Tae and Namjoon undoubtedly. What a bloody dumb thing to do, considering I’d just been accused of fucking around with one of them already.

My phone vibrated against the smooth surface of the bedside table loudly. Surprisingly, or maybe not so much, being the devil incarnate herself.

‘We’re waiting in the office area downstairs, I suggest you make it snappy or I’ll get on with this on my own.’

          Copyright © 2020 by salade. All rights reserved.  

tagged:  @joyful-jimin​​​​​, @l4life​​​​​, @gee-nee​​​​​, @m0chilattae​​​​​, @rossemayme​​​​, @doilooklikeinoe​​​​, @jeon-joker​​​​, @topthis808​​​​, @justyouraveragerando​​​​​​, @booklover240​​​​, @midnight1199​​, @k-popin-hoe​​, @xctvme​

[steppedoffaflight]

Summer’s a Knife - Chapter 6

Catch up on Chapter 5 here

“Van?” You gasp down the line the second you hear the ringing stop. “Van!”

“What’s going on?” Van says immediately. You can hardly process what he’s saying. Your teeth chatter.

“Are you in L.A.?” You ask, still gasping for air.

“I am, why?”

When you can’t answer through the chattering of your teeth you hear him down the line again: “Y/N? Are you okay?”

“I was in an accident,” You choke out. And with your announcement the real gravity of the situation hits you. You start crying. “I just got hit by a car.”

or

Van is there for you on arguably one of the worst nights of your life.

A/N: Content warning for a very in-depth description of a car accident (only minor physical injuries), psychological shock, and an anxiety attack.

Word count: ~6.1k

Chapter Six May 2019

The Catfish show is the last hurrah of sunny L.A. weather before clouds roll in. By Wednesday, it’s been raining consistently for days.

Technically, you know you should be grateful. Rain can be sparse sometimes, causing some serious droughts and an increase in wildfires. But while you’re happy those are being prevented, you’re not happy with having to constantly drive in the spattering rain and be kept awake at night with roaring thunder. And without any gaps in the showers for the Earth to soak everything up, the ground has become one giant swampy mud puddle everywhere you go.

You come home from work that night worn thin. The daily grind is mundane enough without the lack of sunshine, but after consecutive days without any time outdoors you feel extra irritable. 

You check the weather forecast as you plop down on the couch without even bothering to change clothes yet. There’s still more rain being predicted. You tip your head back against the couch in annoyance. 

One thing was for sure, you couldn’t stand another routine night of cooking dinner and then heading off to bed early simply from boredom. Something had to give. 

Your fingers are poised over your phone screen as you consider. Should you text Mary? See if Van’s still in town? Have a night to yourself? It was a weeknight, after all. Everyone was probably busy with regular life. 

But a night to yourself didn’t sound so bad, as long as you deviated from the usual. Maybe tonight was a good night to get some takeout and do something special in the name of self care. Now that you think about it, it’s been a long time since you’ve had IHOP. That’s always a nice treat.

Once you’ve had the idea, something about it just seems right. A big stack of your favorite pancakes, the rain pounding against the windows while you enjoy them. You could catch up with some TV or maybe grab one of the brand new books on your bookshelf you’d bought and never touched again. Or you could run a bath. All of those possibilities sounded perfect for tonight.

Before you can talk yourself out of it you’ve pulled up the IHOP menu. You really only look for fun. Your favorite order is always the cupcake pancakes, and this time is no exception. You place the order through an app and shuffle around getting dressed to head out in the rain.

Outside, the weather is disgusting. You tug your windbreaker around you tighter, carefully trying to avoid stepping in the murky puddles overflowing your yard as you head for the car. Even your gate seems sad at the weather, so waterlogged it doesn’t give its usual enthusiastic creak as you pass through. 

Everyone else seems to have taken the night-in approach, too. There’s not too many other cars out, and you make it to the restaurant in record time, collecting your still-hot styrofoam container of pancakes. You’ve got the heat going in the car, your favorite Spotify playlist running through the aux, and as you pull away from IHOP you can feel yourself bubbling with excitement at the little night you’ve carved out for yourself.

You’re having an internal debate between Netflix shows when you see it. Actually, you hear it first: the noise of another car near you, even though you weren’t aware someone was so close in the lane next to you.

But they’re not in the lane next to you. You’re passing under the green light of an intersection when you realize you’re hearing a car that’s still driving on the opposite road. Headlights soak your vision as you realize they’re still moving directly towards your car. Your first instinct is to hit the brake, but immediately you can tell there’s no avoiding him. In a sickening jolt your mind processes that he’s going to nail the front passenger door and your adrenaline makes your foot press on the gas. You don’t hear any brakes squealing. He’s going to run you into the middle of this intersection and kill you. 

“SHIT!” You scream as the sickening sound of metal crunching fills the car, the rubber of your tires wailing as the car is pushed sideways. You don’t know why you scream when you’re the only one present. You try to check your mirrors, hoping you don’t hit someone else as you’re pushed a whole lane over. Headlights beam you in the eyes again as the car slightly behind you in the lane next to you comes to a screeching stop.

As fast as the chaos had begun, it was over. You’re directly under the traffic light you’d been trying to pass under, and it beams red into the windshield of your car. You jerk your neck looking around, hoping someone doesn’t absentmindedly accelerate. You can’t see too much through the rain but tons of yellow headlights spotlighting you. 

Someone tries your car door handle. You scream, startled. When they realize it’s locked they slap their hand against the window. You have to fumble before you manage to unlock the door.

“Are you okay?” Someone shouts at you. You stare up at them, trying to process the words.

“He ran right into you!” They continue, gesturing to the passenger side of your car. “Are you hurt?”

Honestly, you don’t feel anything. All of your limbs feel like solid ice. “I don’t think so,” You tell them, looking around for blood. Everything seems intact.

The rain is pelting through the open door, soaking the interior of your car. In the beam of headlights you see another silhouette approaching you from across the road. “Is everyone okay?”

“Get in my car,” The person talking to you commands. “You’ve got to get out of the middle of the road.”

You try to unbuckle your seatbelt with your icy fingers. You grasp for your phone on the passenger seat, coming up empty.

“My phone!” You cry out, groping around in the dark. “Where’s my phone?”

“Is this it?” The person asks, kneeling down by the side of your seat before pressing the solid weight of your phone into your palm. It’s splattered with raindrops. You attempt to wipe it off with the sleeve of your jacket, realizing too late that it’s also wet, smearing more water across your screen. The thought of your phone being broken only pumps more icy panic through your veins.

“Let’s get in my car,” The stranger says again, “So I can pull us to the side of the road.” 

You do as you’re told, stumbling through the puddles of rainwater to his car. Your fingers ache as you ease them under the door handle, sliding into the front seat. 

It’s only then you can see the scene of the accident fully. Your car is in the middle of the intersection, melted around the front of the other car, who’d hit you square in the middle of the passenger side. The whole right side of your car is crinkled and caved in. Black tire marks streak the pavement around you. Other good samaritans are attending to the other person. It looks like they’re struggling to get the driver’s door open. 

“Are they dead?” You panic, leaning forward in your seat for a chance at a better look. The car starts up, the man who’s helped you immediately turning the music down as he slowly inches around the scene, pulling halfway onto the sidewalk in an attempt to be out of the way. 

“I dunno,” He says glancing around in his mirrors as he cuts the ignition. “I’m gonna go help. Stay here.” 

You don’t know how long you sit in the silence, shivering, before you look at your phone again. You manage to dry it off by wiping it against the seat you’re sitting in. It lights up when you hit the home button, illuminating a jagged crack that runs across the center of the screen. Your thumbs act of their own accord.

“Van?” You gasp down the line the second you hear the ringing stop. “Van!”

“What’s going on?” Van says immediately. You can hardly process what he’s saying. Your teeth chatter.

“Are you in L.A.?” You ask, still gasping for air.

“I am, why?”

When you can’t answer through the chattering of your teeth you hear him down the line again: “Y/N? Are you okay?”

“I was in an accident,” You choke out. And with your announcement the real gravity of the situation hits you. You start crying. “I just got hit by a car.”

“Holy fuck. Where? Are you hurt? Is help on the way?”

You’re not able to properly process anything he’s said. “I got hit by a car,” You sob again. “He just- He just ran into me!” You choke around a wail. “It wasn’t my fault! It wasn’t my fault!”

“Where? Fuck, you gotta give me something else to go on! Where are you?”

“I dunno why I didn’t call Mary,” You blubber, more tears running hot down your cheeks.

“It’s okay, alright,” Van tries to shush you. “Where are you? C’mon.”

“I was at IHOP.” Van’s shushing had worked for a brief moment, but as the memory floods back you return to full on sobbing. 

“On Sunset?” Van presses, before his voice cuts out as he jostles around on his end. 

“No, no,” You cry, wiping at your nose. It only rubs icy rainwater all over your face. “Not Sunset. The other one. The other big road. I can’t remember the name, fuck. I’m drawing a blank on everything, I dunno.”

“Santa Monica?” 

You perk up at his words. “Yeah, that one, that one.” 

“Are you hurt?”

“I can’t feel anything,” You sniffle. “I’m so fucking cold. I don’t think so. I’m not bleeding. I don’t think. I hope I’m not bleeding all over this guy’s car.”

“What guy’s car?”

“This guy. He almost hit me, too. The car pushed me over into his lane. But he stopped.” You are cut off by your own involuntary gasp for air. “I got in his car. He drove up on the sidewalk.” You glance out the side mirror, watching the crowd of people still fussing over the other person’s car.

“He’s trying to help the other person,” You tell him tearfully. “They can’t get the car door open. I think they’re dead, Van.” At that you sob again. “I think they’re dead.”

Van starts to speak, but a noise from your phone interrupts him. You pull it away from your ear in confusion. The screen doesn’t light up. You hit the home button. The empty battery indicator beams up at you. 

You stuff your phone into your jacket pocket, a small sob of frustration escaping your throat.

You sit alone in your numb haze. There are car horns honking in impatience at the hold up. You wipe your eyes, laughing bitterly to yourself. If only you were one of them, caught in the minor inconvenience of traffic while someone else suffered your fate.

In an unknown amount of time the emergency responders are finally on the scene. You watch as the police start posting up yellow emergency tape and other officers attempt to direct the jam around the giant mess. The sirens of a firetruck and an ambulance rip through your consciousness as they drive up on the muddy grass around you.

A paramedic retrieves you from the car. You’re not sure who even told them where you were. She leads you through the rain to the back of the ambulance. 

There are lots of questions as she gets you seated on a stretcher, starts working on paperwork. They’re hard to answer. You don’t remember your own phone number. You don’t have your purse with your license with you. You left it in your car, you tell her. She checks you for a concussion, whiplash. Makes sure your reflexes aren’t impared. 

You stay in the ambulance while two police officers take the paramedic’s place. Telling the story makes you feel slightly calmer. You start to put the pieces together in your mind, slowly grasping how you went from excited for your food to the back of an ambulance. You’re not sure if your details make sense, but the officers seem pleased with what you’re able to tell them.

“Are they dead?” You ask when your part is finished. You can’t see any of the scene from where you’re sitting, only the officers conducting traffic outside in the rain. You’ve heard the commotion though, the ripping of metal while the firefighters dismantled the car. 

“She’s alive,” One of them tells you, and your body is flooded with relief. “Injured, but alive.”

They’re packing up their things, carefully depositing their notebooks back into their uniform pockets and starting to shuffle away when you hear the bleep of one of their walkie-talkies.

Yeah, looks like it was distracted, the voice crackles over the speaker. Phone should be submitted into evidence.

The officer unclicks the radio from his pocket. “Headed over there now,” He says, and they leave you to handle that accidental information on your own.

The first one steps down into the grass before you hear him say, stern, “Can I help you, sir?”

You immediately jump up from the stretcher, clamoring over to the edge. The officer that hasn’t stepped out yet looks at you in confusion. 

“Van!” You gasp, stumbling out of the ambulance. At the sound of you moving around the other officer is distracted, Van easily shuffling past him to get to you. 

One of your feet slips in the mud. You almost fall backwards but Van’s there to steady you. 

As instantly as you’ve caught your balance Van roughly pulls you forward into his chest, his arms wrapping tight around you. 

“Are you her ride home?” You hear one of the officers ask Van from where you’ve got your face pressed into his chest. 

“I am,” Van tells them. “Is she going to the hospital?”

“The paramedic examined her, but she can choose to go if she thinks she needs to. She’s in shock, though. Can’t drive.”

“Do you think you need to go to the hospital, ma’am?” Someone asks from behind you.

It takes all your strength to pull yourself away from where you’re pressed against Van. 

“I think I’m okay,” You tell them. “I don’t have any pain right now. Just wanna go home, really.” As soon as you’re done speaking you’ve pressed yourself back against Van. Having something familiar to cling to has instantaneous calming effects on you. Your teeth start chattering again.

You break away from him eventually to speak to the paramedic, who hands you some paperwork that’s getting damp from the rain.

“If anything feels off, come to the emergency room immediately,” She tells you, holding eye contact so you take her seriously. You nod.

She turns to Van. “It’s very important she comes in if she’s showing any of the symptoms listed.”

Van thanks her, before gently tugging the paperwork out between your fingers, folding it into his own pocket.

You get a slip from the officers so you can get the police report later for your insurance company. Then you’re free to go. 

The scene has quieted down significantly. The helpful pedestrians are gone now, having been replaced by the responders. The car honking has stopped now that traffic was being directed, and a tow truck company was supposed to be arriving any minute now. 

“I didn’t even get to thank that guy,” You mumble when you realize that the car you’d been sitting in is no longer on the curb. 

“Hm?”

“That guy,” You say louder, looking around again. “I never got to thank him.”

Van rubs his hand over your back. “It’s okay. He knows you were distracted.”

You nod, hoping he’s right. “Where’s your car?”

Van gestures down the road. “At the IHOP. Are you able to make it?”

“IHOP? You walked all that way?”

It’s only then you realize that Van’s soaked from the downpour, same as you. For some reason your brain had been tricked into believing he’d escaped the misery of being this cold. 

“Well, yeah,” Van laughs, “I didn’t have a choice! Traffic was blocked. I had to get to you!”

“You didn’t have to do that,” You huff.

“Will you fucking stop?” Van insists, starting the journey down the sidewalk towards his car. He keeps a hand on your back as you move with him. “Look at you. Your car is a ball of tin foil in the middle of an intersection and you’re tryin’ to tell me not to come check on you. Save it, love.”

Your brain is too tired to bicker with him. You let your body move on autopilot. When you reach the crosswalk of the intersection you’d been hit at Van’s hand suddenly drops to grab yours, breaking into a light jog to get you two across during a red light. 

Even once you’ve crossed the road he doesn’t let go. He holds your hand the entire walk down the block to IHOP, where his range rover is crookedly parked across two spaces. He only lets go to help you into the car.

“I assume you didn’t eat dinner?” He asks softly once he’s pulled onto the street.

“I had takeout in my car,” You say sadly. 

“Wanna run back in to IHOP?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Well I am,” Van says, “And you gotta eat something. McDonald’s it is, then. At least get some chips.”

As glaringly obvious as his britishness is, it still catches you off guard. You crinkle your nose at his choice of words. Chips. 

He pulls up to a drive-thru a few minutes later, easily rattling off what you assume is his usual order. Then he turns to you expectantly.

“Um, whatever you got,” You tell him, unable to remember your usual order. Van nods, turning back to the speaker.

“So you get vanilla, too?” He asks when he pulls the car forward, in line for the window to pay. 

“Vanilla what?”

“A vanilla milkshake,” Van says slowly. “That’s what I ordered.”

“Oh.” You watch the windshield wipers move in an arc across the glass. “I honestly have no idea what you ordered. I just couldn’t remember the menu.”

The weirdness of feeling so cloudy makes your eyes water. You desperately just want to feel normal. 

“This is so weird,” You tell Van, your voice tight from your tears. “Something’s wrong with me.”

As Van pulls up to the window, you reach out suddenly, hand on his arm. “I don’t have my purse,” You realize. “I don’t have any money on me.”

Van only gives you a confused smile before he fishes his wallet out, handing his card over to the cashier when the window opens. You heave a sigh of relief.

“Nothing’s wrong with you,” He says when it’s time to pull forward again. “Your head is fucked up. You’ll calm down.”

You wipe away the stray tear that’s started its journey down your face, hoping he’s right. “I guess it feels so stupid, getting McDonald’s after that. I almost died.”

“Yeah.”

“Have you ever been in an accident?”

Van hands over the paper bag of food and then a wobbling drink tray before pulling away. “I’ve had a fender bender or two when I was younger. Nothing like yours. And I don’t drive much, to be fair. Only when I’m here or in London. On tour I don’t have a car.”

“I never thought of that. How do you get around then?”

“Walk. Take an Uber.”

As the scent of hot french fries fills the car your body remembers how hungry it really is. It rips through your stomach with a growl.

“I take it back, I am hungry.” You pick through the paper bag. “What’d you get us?”

“Quarter pounder with cheese, Coke and a milkshake.”

“Holy shit. Is that what you usually get?”

“Sure. Sometimes I like some nuggets with it. But usually this is it.”

You blink at his silhouette while he looks ahead at the road. He glances over at you. “What?” 

“That’s a lot of food for one sitting!” You laugh in disbelief. 

Van shrugs. “I dunno! Maccies is good! What do you want me to say?”

“Maccies?”

Van rolls his eyes. “Aw, Christ. McDonald’s.”

“Is that what you call it?”

“Sometimes!”

Having a normal conversation helps you calm down. By the time Van pulls up to your house, you feel slightly closer to being back on Earth as you help carry the food inside. 

But being back in your living room and remembering the night you’d originally intended to have still brings tears to your eyes. Van notices right away.

“Go take a hot shower, yeah?” He suggests, coming over to you as soon as he’s set the bag of food and a lump of his things he’d thrown in his car down on the coffee table. He takes the cardboard drink tray from your shaking hands, setting it down before helping you ease off your soaked jacket.

“I don’t want to,” You sniffle, rubbing at your eyes. The idea of becoming even more waterlogged sounds miserable. And you just want to sit down.

“It’ll warm you up,” Van continues. He gives your lower back a rub before resting his hands on your shoulders, giving you a closer look. “Your lips are blue. You definitely need it.”

You open your mouth to protest again, but Van doesn’t allow it.

“I’ll get the water running,” He says, making a beeline for the bathroom before you can decline. 

You find him fussing with the faucet when you finally follow. You take off your clothes right there, the icy layers of fabric slapping against the tile. 

He doesn’t even give your naked body a glance when he stands upright. “Do you want something hot to drink when you’re done?”

“Do you know how to work a Keurig?” 

Van nods.

“Yeah, coffee. But use one of the blue cups. The other ones are nasty.”

With another nod Van shuffles past you and out of the bathroom, leaving you to it.

Your skin is so cold even the lukewarm water Van had turned on burns. You stay in there, easing the water hotter and hotter until you’re no longer cringing away from the spray and the shower is filled with steam. Then you decide you’re warmed up enough and rejoin Van.

He’s changed into the dry clothes he’d brought with him, a black t-shirt and the worn flannel pajama bottoms you’d borrowed once. His hair is starting to dry, fluffy and unruly. He’s on his phone but looks up as soon as you return from getting dressed in your bedroom. 

He smiles sheepishly. “I realized too late I have no idea what you put in your coffee. So I ran the cup and left it for you to finish.”

You head to the kitchen and finish adding milk and sugar into the steaming mug before you come back to the sectional.

The paper that the paramedic had given you is resting on the table. You nod to it. “Reading up on me?”

“Oh, yeah. Wanted to make sure I knew what we were looking for. You’re still okay, right? Nothing hurting?”

You roll your neck. “I’m starting to feel a little stiff, but I mean, that’s probably expected.” You tug your sweatpants down to your knees, showing Van a cut on your outer thigh. “I think a piece of the shattered window hit me.”

He grazes his fingertips against you gingerly, careful not to touch the cut. It only looks like a long cat scratch, but there had been enough crusted blood around it when you’d undressed that you knew something sharp had caused it.

“But I’m okay.” You shrug, pulling your pants back up.

Van eyes you for a long moment. “Are you doing better in your head?”

You manage a weak smile. “Yeah. It still doesn’t feel real. But the shower helped.”

Van seems satisfied with that answer, nodding to your food set aside on the table. You notice he’s waited to eat until you were ready, the milkshakes starting to melt. With both of you present now you dig into your meals. In the silence your mind wanders.

“I don’t think I can explain this to everyone tonight,” You groan around a mouthful of burger. “I don’t even remember the story as it is.”

“Wait ‘till morning,” Van says, uncapping his shake in order to dip his fries in. “You don’t need to worry about anything else tonight.” 

“I wish it was that easy,” You sigh. “But I’ve got to call off work tomorrow. Gotta text my boss.”

“So just do that. Nothin’ else.”

You feel a headache blooming at everything that has to be done. You try to push your thoughts away, focusing back on your food. You abandon your coffee while you eat, the hot drink not going as well with your menu as the Coke, but once you’re done eating you pick the mug back up just for something to keep you distracted.

When Van’s done he taps away at his phone, and you remember that yours is dead.

“Fuck, gotta charge my phone,” You huff, going to get up from the couch. But Van points to the kitchen table, where your phone is charging. 

“I got it going for ya. Is the crack from the accident?”

“Yes,” You sigh.

You make your way to the kitchen table, checking out any notifications. Everything is achingly normal. There’s a meme from your mom, a text inviting you out to drinks from some of the girls at work, and Mary complaining about something Theo’s done. You try to keep the details as minimal as possible as you text your boss, and you ignore everything else.

There’s so many people who will want to know what happened: Mary and Theo, your mom and dad. Your boss. Some of your coworkers you’re close with will wonder why you were out. You could cover a lot of your bases with your family and close friends with a Facebook post, but inevitably people will only reach out to you wanting more details. Then the insurance company will need all the details for the claim. And who knows how much everything will cost, and who’s responsible for it. You had no idea what towing company had even taken your car.

“Are you alright?”

You feel like you’ve been asked that question a million times tonight. You only realize you’re short of breath when Van’s question pulls you from your thoughts.

“Whoa,” Van murmurs. He sets his phone on the coffee table, instantly repositioning so that he’s sitting in front of you. “What’s going on?”

“I’m stressed out,” You admit. Your eyes have watered so many times tonight that you’re sick of the sensation, wiping at them furiously. That only irritates the already tender skin.

“It’s all gonna be okay,” Van tries to tell you, hands on your shoulders. “It’s gonna be fine.”

“But it’s not!” You sob into your hands, before digging your fingers into your hair. “It’s not okay! I almost fucking died! I almost died, Van! Would you have even missed me?” 

Van’s face immediately contorts into anger. “Why would you even fucking ask that?”

Because we’re just a fling. There’s others. Why would you care? You don’t scream the words that run through your head. 

“I’m freaking out!” You yell instead. “I’m freaking the fuck out! I can’t ever drive a car again after that! I almost died! I don’t even have a car to drive! I have no way to get to work! And I’m not made of money, I don’t have the kinda cash to Uber everywhere! I don’t have money for car repairs. And I mean, you saw my car! C’mon, it’s fucking totaled! I don’t have money for an Uber, let alone a new car!” 

You reach for a stiff McDonald’s napkin in order to wipe your running nose. “How do I tell that story to everyone, Van? How? I literally could not explain it if I tried. A car literally ran into me. Straight into me. They had a red light. A red light! And it was distracted driving. Did I tell you that? I heard it over the walkie-talkie. Fucking texting and driving. How do I explain the fact I don’t even have whiplash? Or a broken arm? None of it makes sense!”

Van’s anger has faded from his expression by the time you’ve stopped yelling, but his jaw is set. He looks like he’s thinking.

“It doesn’t make any sense,” He agrees. “I saw it with my own two eyes and I don’t know how you walked away. I don’t have an answer for you there.” 

He takes a deep breath. “But you can borrow the Rover as long as you need it.”

You blink at him. “What?”

He snatches the keys off of the table and holds them out to you. “It’s yours while you figure all this shit out.”

You jerk away as if he’s offered you a grenade. “There’s no way. Nuh-uh.”

“You’re right. Everything is fucked. But it’s gonna be okay. And if I can help it be okay in some way, that’s what I’m gonna do.”

You’re still leaned away from him. “You’ve helped enough already. I don’t want your fucking car. What if I crash that one, too?”

“You didn’t crash anything. An asshole hit you. And it has full coverage, so I don’t care.” 

“I’m not taking your car, Van!” 

“Yes, you are! Fuck!” Van tosses the keys in your lap lightly. You flinch as if they’ll burn you. “Stop giving me shit every time I’m trying to be nice to you! I’m going to be back in London soon anyway, so use my car! I won’t be around to!”

You toss the keys back at Van. “Take these back.”

Van stands up. “I’m not taking these back, they’re yours for now.” He walks over to where your coat is hanging over the back of one of the kitchen chairs, dripping water onto the floor, and tucks his keys into your jacket pocket. 

“And just so you know,” He starts angrily as he returns, “I meet people all the fucking time that I can tell don’t give a shit about me. We were at a party full of them. When you have money and even the smallest amount of influence, people want to be mates so bad. Especially in the music industry.”

He plops down in his seat, gesturing at the front door behind him. “If you think I’m racing out of my house in the middle of a storm to make sure they’re okay you’ve got it all wrong. And if you think I’m offering everyone my car keys you’re crazy. We’re friends. Don’t ever ask me some stupid shit about you dying like that again. The keys are yours. End of.”

You stare at him through your tears, clenching your teeth. When he’s around nothing ever makes sense. It’s like you’re best friends yet you feel like you know nothing about him. You two act like you’re dating in private and then go weeks without speaking. He’s so fucking nice to you all the time and you don’t understand where it comes from, why he feels compelled to do things like hand over his car keys without a second thought. You don’t have an issue with a friends-with-benefits arrangement. But Van has a way of blurring the line between the benefits and the friendship. And you have nothing for him in return. No exclusive access to things, no guest lists, connections. Certainly no cars to lend.

You want to cry from how overwhelmed you are by his kindness this entire night. And you want to scream at how much it confuses you. You settle for reaching forward and grabbing his shirt collar and pressing your lips against his, hard. 

Van’s not one to startle. When you kiss him he’s usually all in, easily following your lead. But this time you notice his surprise, how he’s frozen in shock for a moment before he’s kissing you back. 

He’s gentle, carefully cupping the back of your head as he tries to slow the pace. You’re not having it. You pull him closer by his shirt, pressing his mouth open with yours to force the kiss deeper. 

He’s sitting slightly too far away from you to the point where you can tell it’s hard for him to lean forward enough to kiss you. You press him back by his shoulders, nudging him to rest against the back of the couch as you scramble up to straddle him, resting yourself over his thighs. You pant into his mouth as you slip your fingers under the hem of his t-shirt, pressing it upward in an attempt to slip it off of him. 

Suddenly his hands are resting over the back of yours.

“Hey, hey,” He murmurs. He holds your hands gently, guiding them away from their task of undressing him. You still cling to the fabric for dear life. He has to press into your flesh with his fingertips in order for you to finally let go.

“There’s no need for that,” Van tells you softly. You accept he wants to keep his shirt on and go for the waistband of his pants instead, trying to ease the elastic down. He tightens his fingers around your wrist, gently wrestling you away again.

You give a frustrated sigh. “What’s wrong?”

“Your head’s not in the right place,” Van replies. “You’ve had a long night.”

“I know I’ve have a long night,” You plead, “That’s why I need this. To chill out.”

“I’ll roll us a joint. That’ll chill you out.”

“I don’t want to smoke weed. I want to give something back for how nice you’ve been tonight.”

“Oh, quit it. You’re keeping me company. I was sitting around bored out of my mind.”

“No, you’re keeping me company,” You argue, wriggling around in his lap. It’s easy to feel his semi through his flannel bottoms. “Lemme make you dealing with me crying all night worth it.”

Van grabs your upper arms firmly, nudging you off of his lap before standing up. “I’ll grab the weed.”

You watch him rifle through his things as you come to terms with the fact you’ve officially been rejected.

The sting of Van’s rejection is only eased after passing the joint he’s rolled back and forth a few times. He doesn’t acknowledge how silent and broody you’ve become as he rolls it, but he’s too smart not to know. The fact he’s as cheerful as ever as he makes you take the first hit only boils your blood more. 

But as you two burn the joint down to a pitiful nub you start to simmer down. Your bad mood becomes less about Van and more about how awful your night has gone as a whole. The fact you weren’t going to get a quickie with Van out of tonight was only the cherry on top. 

“Should I roll another?” Van asks after you two have given the first one some time to settle. It’s calmed you down, but not enough to sleep. Given the way Van’s socked toes are tapping at your knee you get the feeling he’s not ready to sleep, either.

He brings the second one to the bedroom, waiting to light it until you two are settled in. This one tastes a little stronger, burns your throat more. After three hits you’re snuggled up against him as he lights his nighttime cigarette. 

“I have a question,” You say slowly, keeping your eyes closed. You don’t want to lose the way your head is floating, so much lighter now that you’ve been able to let go of your worries. Besides the one that keeps nagging your brain every time you breathe in the scent of Van’s fabric softener. 

“Shoot.”

“Are you seeing someone in London?”

“Loads of people. Me mum ‘n dad. My cousins. Mates from back home.”

You giggle, poking his thigh. “You know what I mean.”

“I’ve got a question for you,” Van declares, poking you on the arm. 

You press your forehead against his outer thigh, slinging your arm across his lap. It’s the ultimate comfortable position, your body sinking into it happily. “Hm?”

“I wanna know who’s been treating you so lousy that you’re so shocked when someone cares for you.”

Maybe you could’ve answered him if you hadn’t drifted off to sleep. 

\\

[lokispettigerr]

Painting the Wind: Jotun!Loki x Female!Reader SMUT (NSFW)

Requested by @rougepetale. I killed three Bilgesnipe with one arrow though because I decided to follow out two more requests-- a Jotun!Loki fic and a dark fic. This is book material and I am proud. 

***It is Pet Tiger Tuesdays!!!! Get stoked!

Summary: Reader drives men, and women, wild with just her scent. One evening, she attends her friend’s art viewing at a studio. When Loki catches her scent she runs, spurred on by the dangerous lust that he radiates.

Word Count: 4096

Warning: Sex Pollen, Dom Loki, Non-Con

A/N: So, remember that Mushroom Muse Stew I posted about a while back? Maybe last week, well it pops up again here. **Not my image

Beauty, attraction, and irresistibility is a blessing and a curse. 

When I was younger, I was raised by monsters who injected their precious serum into my blood year after year after year. Each injection would make me the person I am today, the beast I have become. But do you ever wonder who the true monster is? The beast that was either born into its circumstances or forced into them, or the people or superhuman entity that made them the way they are.

As I look in the mirror now at my reflection I don’t look much a beast. I have doe eyes, bright and big. My lashes make shadows dance upon my cheeks. My lips are full and my skin glows inhumanly. I have womanly curves and hair that shines even on a cloudy day. 

If you want to know the truth, how I really feel about all this talk of monsters and beasts. I think that both parties are at fault. The people who raised me are at fault for sure for forcing this path upon me, but I too am at fault. You gasp? You are shocked? You don’t know me. There are times when I enjoy the way people are uncontrollably aroused towards me. I enjoy knowing that I am constantly in control because they would do anything to be with me, if even for a few moments. You see, there is a part of me that is very much like the monsters who raised me. I am greedy. I was never given love or affection and no matter how much I get now, even an infinite amount… It would never be enough. There is something in me insidious and wrong. 

I turned from my reflection just as my open hand turned to a fist wanting to smash the shiny glass into pieces. What good would that do me? 

I left the house, my heels clicking down the sidewalk outside of the apartment building. The wind was beginning to pick up and the sun kept passing behind giant, ominous looking clouds. I kept my head down shielding my eyes against the wind as my hair fanned out, causing a trail of pheromones to sway luxuriously out behind me. 

Everywhere I went I painted the tail of the wind with my intoxicating scent. Of course, this wasn’t always safe, but I had been trained by the monstrous, mad scientists that raised me. I was unbelievably strong and was meant to be a breeding *whore* to create super soldiers. 

I was an experiment gone wrong. All of my sisters were too. All of us failed. It was something I always found laughable. 

We were all deemed infertile. The pheromones they so ruthlessly injected us with made us alluring, but ironically it nuked our reproductive organs. No sweet bundle of baby joys would ever be a product of me, and in truth, I liked it better that way. I can imagine that with my background I would be a horrifying parent. 

I essentially was a super-soldier. I could practically strangle a man with my bare hands within moments. I could hit someone on their shoulder hard enough that their head would come clean off. When I was a kid, and not very strong I would walk past dandelions doing the same thing. Hitting them hard enough for the flower head to pop right off, all while I ran along wearing a white dress, bows in my hair musical laughter pouring from my lips. Innocence turned to corruption-- it has always been there. 

My text notification chirped and I pulled the phone out of my pocket with a quick glance at the screen. I was meeting Willow at her art showing tonight. I had promised and I was going to come through for her. Being around a group of people like that always made me antsy, all of them would be horny and wanting to grab at me being in close proximity but luckily, Willow mentioned there was an open bar. When I was able to get a little buzz, the anxiety from the surrounding horn dogs usually lessened and I could loosen up, even give them a little of what they wanted. 

I turned the corner and approached the art studio building, “Montross Art Studios” a golden wire looking sign read. It swayed back and forth in the wind as the breeze began to pick up. I could only hope that when I opened the door, the wind would not blow my scent within the art studio. In close quarters it moved slowly, but if the wind stirred the air it would be a scent spread like wildfire. 

I was lucky. The wind had stopped long enough for me to get inside the studio. The door creaked loudly on its hinges, but the studio was full of laughter and chatter, blues music playing over the speakers. 

I scanned the sea of faces looking for Willow’s dark bob and big brown eyes. She was around somewhere, I could sense it. I knew I would run into her eventually and my nerves were already jumping and on highwire so I decided to go to the bar and grab a drink. 

A handsome man stood up against the bar, his posture excuding cockyness and confidence-- of course, if I looked like him I would do the same thing. His hair was shockingly black and his eyes were bright green. He was leaning over the counter of the bar talking in an erotic purr at the bartender who would laugh intermittently while he took a clean wipe towel and rubbed different glasses, making them have a shine. 

He took a sip of a green drink and placed the cup on the bar to move a strand of his black hair behind his ear, exposing his sharp jawline. I was usually not nervous when approaching any sex, but this man at the counter made me feel uneasy. I weighed my options, continue to feel anxious and on edge throughout the art gathering or face one man for a few moments, order a drink, and feel the calm settle over my brain like a security blanket. The choice was easy, a few minutes of discomfort was much easier than discomfort the remainder of the night. 

I made sure to walk as smoothly as I could, so as not to stir the air. When I made it to the bar I kept my distance from the attractive man who oozed danger all about him. 

“Hi there,” I paused while I looked for the bartender's name tag, it read, “Joe?”. I giggled, “ You aren’t sure if Joe is your name?”

He shot me a shy smile back, “If I made a beautiful woman like you laugh then I have succeeded. For you, I’ll be whoever you want me to be. What’ll you have?”

“Just a martini please.” I glanced from the side of my eye at the dark-haired man standing beside me. I could feel his piercing gaze. “Joe, she was mistaken, she will have what I am having.”

I looked at him, wide-eyed, my eyebrows going up. Joe seemed confused, “She said she would like a marti--”

The man standing beside me cut him off, his eyes boring through Joe and into the wall, “Absinthe, Joe. Get the lady Absinthe.”

Joe’s face went blank and he immediately began to pour Absinthe. A chill went down my spine, I had never seen someone command something with such force. I quickly began to rethink the drink. Screw this, I could be uncomfortable the rest of the night. 

Once the bartender had finished preparing the Absinthe he lit the sugar cube on fire. I could not deny the color of the Absinthe combined with the bright burning flame was beautiful. I smiled to myself enraptured by the fire. For a moment I felt alone in the room, the fire holding my attention. It was so beautiful. 

“Your complexion is glowing.” The twilight satin voice brought my thoughts back to the current situation. 

I looked away from the flame, “Just a trick of the light, everyone looks captivating against the allure of firelight.”

The man was silent as he continued to watch me, his eyes half-lidded. 

“I think not,” he whispered, “you’re special…”

I feigned ignorance, after all he was just feeling the average effects of being too close to me. “I don’t know what you are talking about.” I wanted to take a sip of the absinthe, something to keep my mouth busy so I no longer felt the need to carry on this conversation. 

Just then, the door to the studio opened and a gust of wind blew in stirring the air around me, making my hair twirl along my back and shoulders. The flame above the absinthe blew out. Shit!

It was as if time stilled, the man beside me went rigid-- his body freezing, all except for his nostrils which flared dramatically, taking in my scent. His eyes fluttered closed and his head reclined slightly back. Strangely, blue lines were creeping up his neck, and his skin began to darken. 

My eyes searched the crowd, Did anyone else see this? 

His eyes shot open, burning and completely red, “What were you saying?” 

I had to get out! “Uh, gotta go!” I turned to leave, but his fingers quickly closed around my arm. “Not so fast,” he warned. He was strong, superhuman strong. I should have easily been able to break his hold on me but his grasp was like chains of solid iron. 

Just then Willow approached. The mysterious man released my arm, but not before Willow saw him holding it. 

“What’s going on here, Loki?” She asked, a concerned look on her face. 

I answered instead. “I’m so sorry Willow, I got a call. I’ll try to see if I can make it next time.” I ducked my head not wanting her to see the lie. 

Her face fell, disappointment covering it, “Well, okay, if you have to go, I understand.”

I began to walk away, towards the door, towards freedom, “I’ll call you!” I called out over my shoulder and the door slammed behind me. I never looked back to see what the man was doing or if he was watching me, but every fiber of me felt like it was the sugar cube still sitting on the absinthe, on fire, burning brightly-- a flame that would never extinguish. I knew he was watching me as I walked away. 

Usually, I don’t have this kind of reaction, but my body screamed at me to get away as fast as I could. It was as if my brain knew, from all the strength and training that I had, even I could not hold my own against the man in the art studio-- Loki was it? What an odd name. I shoved my arms, hurriedly into my cloak and quickly flipped up the hood. I carried around a thin cloak oftentimes, it helped keep my pheromones in one place and not billowing all about-- plus it looked kinda cool. 

With each step I took, my anxiety increased. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being followed. I sped up my pace only to hear what sounded like footsteps approaching at the same speed as my own. I glanced back, the wind tugging ruthlessly at my hood. No one was there. It was only me, the echo of my footsteps. I was alone and so close to home. I would be safe soon. 

My heart was racing and my blood was pumping, making a whooshing sound that filled my ears and pounded around my head. Every few moments I would glance back only to see an empty sidewalk and a few dried leaves skirt by, pushed on by the wind. 

Dusk had settled, not doing anything to help my nerves, and street lamps flickered to life. The harsh light pooled down at the sidewalk interrupting any chances I had at using my night vision. I would try to peer out past the bright lights towards the edge of the trees or across the sidewalk from where I loped, but all I could see were shadows with hunger in their eyes and saliva dripping from their teeth. None of it was real, my fear was making it all up. My imagination was running wild and I knew that as soon as I made it back home and my locks were in place everything would be right in the world. 

Wait… There, what was that? Footsteps not matching my own approaching from behind, my breath caught in my throat and I opened my mouth in case I needed all the air possible for a scream. I was so close, so close to home-- just around the corner and I could rush up the steps, past the lonely, naked lady fountain, past the gardenias making the night smell aromatic, past the garden bed, past the empty swing that often rocked back and forth in the cool night air as it creaked out a forlorn tune, all the way up seven steps to the threshold of my *home*.

I opened the old iron gate, tossing it shut behind me without ever looking back. My hood flew off in my hurry to get inside and I skipped up the steps taking two at a time. The keys were already in my hand and I forced them into the latch turning while I simultaneously twisted the knob. 

The smell of the sage I had burnt early trickled out. I inhaled deeply, the sigh that left my parted lips was one of triumph. I had made it. I shrugged out of my cloak, exposing the skin on my shoulders. I tossed the keys towards the stand near the door and they landed with a sharp clack. The house was dark, but it didn’t matter. I let the darkness of my home envelop me like a warm blanket. I teased my arm along the wall feeling towards the light switch, bracing myself for the moment the lights would come on when I heard a low rumble as someone across from me cleared their throat-- a growl from a hunter. 

Panic choked me, my eyes grew wide with fear and I could acutely see myself from somewhere else in the room. I stood, frozen with terror, unable to move.

“You’re wondering how I came to be here. How I knew this humble abode was yours.” Loki’s sultry voice purred at me from the shadows, just above a whisper. “The fountain out front is a nice touch.” He stalked towards me, the shadows sliding away from him to expose his predatory form. The blue tendrils that had begun to crawl up his skin in the art studio had taken full effect. His skin was now a deep blue hue with exotic markings and his eyes were a violent red. They glowed and cut through the darkness. Had he been bitten by some ghastly bug that had bestowed this monstrous, yet alluring form upon him?

Suddenly, my brain jump-started. I pushed away from the wall, running down the hallway and towards the kitchen. I needed a weapon! Anything. 

It was no use! Somehow the devil named, “Loki” was there-- it was as if he appeared from thin air. 

“There is no use in fighting it. You will soon tire, and I will not soon grow bored.” He glanced at me, his eyes glowing feverishly. 

I reached for a large knife, serrated and as long as my forearm. *This would do the trick*, I thought, right before it turned into a snake within my grasp. I yelped dropping it before running off again towards the dining room. Had something been slipped into my drink to make me have delusions?

I stopped, my back against the wall, my shoulder blades hurting. My chest rose and fell as I heaved. Loki walked, smooth as a water dancer, into the dining room. His chin was tilted down and a deranged smile was on his lips. He was beautiful-- there was no denying it. 

When he reached the rug under the table, I pushed off the wall, my palms lifting and shoving the solid oak table towards Loki. 

But with a simple wave of his hand, it stopped in thin air, never touching him. He moved his hand to the side as if swatting at a lazy fly and it smashed against the wall next to me. How? How was he doing this?

He laughed and I wanted to smile in response, I would do anything to hear that sultry laughter again. “You are clever. I like that about you,” he said as he moved towards me. I stayed against the wall. Clearly, running was useless. I clenched my jaw and narrowed my eyes. 

“Ooo-- you plan to fight me then?” his eyes went up and down my body, lingering on my hips and my heaving, sweat glistening breasts. “How,” he paused a smile spreading to his face again, “...admirable.” 

He stopped inches from me and part of me wanted to reach out to touch the lines etched on his skin. Were they scars? Had they ever caused him pain? I bit my lip.

“I wouldn’t,” he warned, his voice causing goosebumps to race across my skin and my nipples to tighten. 

I lifted my hand, reeling it back to hit him with all of my strength. It would stun him, for sure. Anything I could do to get out of this situation. 

Too quick, and he saw it coming. My wrist hitting his hand made a loud smacking sound and Loki laughed as if he was amused by my animosity. 

“You are a feral thing aren’t you?”

I grunted, getting ready to slam my forehead against his. He managed to see that one too! His other hand went to my throat, his cool fingers closing around my windpipe. 

He was too strong-- it was incredible. His power was immense. 

Loki leaned towards me, his fingers sliding up my throat to push my jawline. I tried to withstand him, but at last, I submitted. I turned my head to the side and he slid his pointed nose up my neck, inhaling deeply. 

“I can’t possibly help myself,” Loki said aloud, though more to himself than to me. 

“Any reservations, my delightful pet?” he asked, polite as ever, as if he wasn’t holding me against my will. 

“Yes,” I spat, “Go fuck yourse--”.

Loki’s finger went to my lips, shushing me. “My, my, what a foul mouth you have.”

Stupidly, I opened my mouth, taking his finger between my teeth as I bit down. Loki didn’t flinch, instead, he chuckled and removed his now slick finger from my mouth. Though he was smiling, I could feel dark rage rolling from him in waves. “Watch me,” he commanded, and compelled, I couldn’t look away from him.  

His hand slid down to the hem of my dress, pushed past it and pulled gently at my thong, exposing my weeping, wet opening. His masterful fingers plunged within me forcefully, and I cried out in pleasure and in surprise. 

“Ohoho, you like that don’t you? You have wanted this since you first laid eyes on me. Haven’t you?” Loki asked. 

I looked away from him, not wanting to admit what I had in truth felt from the beginning. I wasn’t ready to admit it. 

“Answer me!” he growled as he curled his fingers within and without faster, his thumb rubbing around my aching clit in tight circles. 

The more he rubbed his finger pads upon the spongy tissue of my g-spot, the more I lost the ability to speak-- to form coherent thoughts. I moaned in response. 

“Very well, Pet. That is answer enough. I need to hear you speak for me again.”

*Speak for him again?* What did he mean by that? 

I leaned closer to him, drawing him towards me. My lips closed on his own, and my tongue pried at his lips, coaxing him to part them. He did as I bid, an unspoken communication taking place. And when he opened them I bit down, tasting his blood in my mouth-- it was cool and tasted of the darkest berries. Poisonous yet delicious. 

I had surprised him and a hiss escaped his lips as he pulled away from me. He had recovered quickly, regaining his composure. 

“Fool me once…” His strong arm closed around my waist, and I cried out. “You shouldn’t have done that, Pet.”

He threw me down, effortlessly and I hit the couch, the springs bouncing against my weight. 

He removed his clothes and his body met mine, his soul touched mine. His skin covered me like the waves of the sea that caress the sand of the beach. 

Loki pulled back from me, looking at me hungrily. His hand came up to graze at my breast. I could tell he wanted to slow down, to take all of me in, but something in him or the beast in me made him rush on. 

He pushed his way into me, and I whimpered, his length filling me entirely. 

I rolled my eyes back in my head as visions danced behind my eyelids. A lightning strike met a lone tree, igniting it, making it burn brilliantly. A fox took down a hare, killing it as its narrow jaws closed down around its neck. A herd of wild horses, free and unbroken, stirred the dry-packed earth of a desert-- their mouths open in a song that echoed throughout a canyon. A bird plummeting down, wind flowing through its outstretched wings, 10,000ft. down. 

Loki’s deep moan aroused me further. I opened my eyes to find his muscled form taken in the throes of ecstasy. For a moment, I wondered if he had seen what I had seen, but the thought was gone as quickly as it came. 

Loki’s body stilled as if he was trying to slow down and savor me, but my hips continued to move and buck. I grabbed his narrow hips, pushing and pulling at him, fascinated by the blue tint his skin had against mine. His hand grabbed at both of my wrists, bringing them up easily to rest in confinement above my head. 

“Fuck it,” he breathed raggedly and he sped up his pace, his fingers closing harshly around the bones in my wrist.

“I’m cumming, I’m cumming, oh.” Loki thrust into me, his cum pumping against the opening of my cervix.

In response to Loki’s words, my body came without warning and my back arched, legs shaking as I cried out, my walls clenching down around him. 

Loki’s breath was cool against my neck, a welcome sensation. He stilled above me before turning to lay beside me. I watched his every move, my eyes full of wonder.

“What?” he asked. 

“Nothing,” I replied, “Well, I guess I’m just surprised.”

Loki read my mind, “In the manner things played out? I must admit, I am surprised by this myself.”

I shook my head, “It’s normal. For you... Anyone else, really. I have a curse or an ability. When I was young I was forcibly given a serum that creates a pheromone that causes an irresistible attraction towards me.”

“I knew you were special, but even regardless of that, you are special because you were created for me.” He nodded, knowingly. 

I glanced at him, surprised, “How do you mean?”

“You saw my skin change to blue, my red eyes-- the lines upon my skin. I am part Jotun-- something I can explain more later. Without any control, my true mate will force me into Jotun form without my consent. Something that will not placate until my sexual needs and union with the mate is fulfilled.” 

I was speechless. I needed time to process this. 

After a few moments of silence, Loki muttered, “Mushrooms.”

“Huh?” 

“Mushroom stew. A writer friend of mine recently taught me how to make it.”

“Oh-- uh, cool,” I responded, confused and unimpressed.

“Are you hungry? I am completely famished. I’ll make it for us.” He looked at me, his green eyes shining like stars in the dark. It took me a moment to realize he was waiting for me to say something. 

 I smiled, it was evident he wanted things to work. “Sure, Loki, that sounds delicious.”

“Perfect.” He bent his neck, his face coming towards me and he placed a shy kiss on my lips. 

***** Hope you all enjoyed this and it made you slide to the edge of your seat! There is so much about this one I am proud of, and I cannot wait to hear your thoughts! Send me an ask or leave me a comment and like and reblog! It is the most helpful thing you can do. 

If you would like to be on the Taglist please send me an ASK.  Until next time,  Loki’s Pet Tiger

[goliath-de-senfina-sango]

Danny had just finished dealing with one problem when a sort of old problem reared it's ugly head and made itself a priority.   For once, he may have to deal with a supernatural entity the same way any Fenton traditionally would.

trigger warning for suicide mention and school shooting mention

“Uh, well, I know a way I can help.”  Danny smiled, rubbing the back of his head.  “Sorry for making that wish without asking your permission but I have a feeling you’ll like this one.”

“I’m certain.”  Desiree sighed and turned to fly away, but Danny couldn’t just let her go like that.  People made wishes haphazardly all the time, and interpretation was a horrible thing to mix magick into.

“I wish that you were free of the curse that was laid on you.”  She froze, turning to stare at him with wide red eyes.  Pink and green light gathered around her fingertips and she raised her hands.

“So you have wished it… so shall it be.”  A cloud of smoke enveloped her like a cocoon, and Danny squinted into it.  A wave of force exploded from the cloud and all the booths shook with the energy released, Danny being knocked to the ground.  When he looked up, Desiree was blue-skinned, her silver armbands violet and her dress a dark green.  Eyes like stars looked down upon her new form, bottom half still a cloud of wispy mist, and she slowly began to smile and laugh.  “I’m… free?  I’m free!  Thank you, Danny, thank you so much!”  She flicked her hand, pink and blue ripples of light fixing up the cotton candy explosion and even setting Danny on his feet properly.  “I had thought I’d never be free of that wretched curse!”

“No problem!  Just, if you can avoid it, please don’t go hurting anyone?”  She arched a brow at him and Danny winced.  “I mean, I’m kind of trying to keep everyone, ghosts and humans alike, safe in my town, you know?”

“I cannot promise not to hurt anyone but I won’t be staying in this Realm for long.”  Desiree smiled, a sharp and dangerous baring of teeth and a gaze fixed on something far beyond them that Danny felt pity for.  “After all, I have to find the fool who did this to me and show him how it feels.  And then, I’ll return to my own realm, and a queendom of my own shall be mine!”  She laughed, lights and swirls of colors that his brain had no way of making sense of dancing around her, and throughout the park.  After a moment, she sighed and patted his head.  “Thank you, Danny.  Stay safe.”  And in a swirl of pink that might not have actually been pink, she was gone.

Danny took a moment to feel all warm and tingly inside about how he helped someone so easily, and then he let everything slide past him and through him, flying into the ground and then back up under the table.  The cold of his ghost curled back up into a ball somewhere within him and his skin regained its color and warmth, the world settling back into a thin extreme indigo lense.  He crawled out from under the table cloth and found Tucker, staring at where he had been, and tackled him.  They tumbled to the ground with a yelp from Tucker and Danny laughed, rolling away from the zap of the belt.  “Dude, Desiree is a Jinni!  I wished for a dick and now I have magickally transitioned.”

“Don’t let my being crushed into the ground by you fool ya, I’m genuinely overjoyed for you about that.”  Tucker lifted his head and laughed, deactivating the Specter Deflector before dragging Danny into a hug in the grass.  The hug lasted longer than he felt this deserved, even if he was over the moon about it.  It was also tighter than it should be, and Tucker’s gold was streaked with all kinds of wild blurples, marshons and even some grick.

“Dude, are you alright?”  Danny patted Tucker’s back when he just squeezed tighter and sighed.  “Ok.  We can do this, but like, we’re gonna get stepped on.”  Tucker relented, finally, and they got up, dusting the dirt and grass from their clothes before Danny was hugged, again.  “Tuck?”

“I… we need to talk, with the others too.”  Well, this promised to be interesting at least.  A good distraction from what happened before, hopefully.

It was not, in fact, a good distraction from the shapeshifter that had essentially murdered him (Sam was not the cause, no matter what she probably thought, and he needed to tell her that at some point, she deserved to hear it).  No, instead Danny, Sydney and through the skype call Sam listened to Tucker tell them about how he’d wished that Danny hadn’t gone into the portal and apparently all hell broke loose from that.  On one hand, it was almost freeing to know that even if Danny hadn’t caved to peer pressure like an idiot, the portal still would’ve been wrong when it turned on.  It ached to know that if he hadn’t died in there, his sister would’ve died out here.

But the burning in Danny’s soul was nothing, apparently, compared to Sydney.  “Wait, Tucker, did you say, Spectra?  As in Penelope Spectra?”  Oh boy, Danny knew that tone and he didn’t like it.

“Yes…” Tucker backed up a bit, while Danny shifted to stand in front of him, hand in his pocket.  “She’s the guidance counselor at Casp-”

Sydney glitched, glitched hard.  His features stretched, twisted, overlapped before settling on the image of a corpse, blood dripping from his mouth and the back of his skull as he hissed fury that made the skype call lag and crackle with static.  “Penelope Spectra should be dead like the rest of us!  I- show me a picture of her.  Now!”

“Ok, ok,” Tucker said, pulling up a picture from the school’s website.  “There’s surely plenty of people with that name, Sydney, no need to freak out.”

Except, he did.  When they pulled up the image of a ginger woman with hair done up in what looked almost like horns and a red business suit, the air around Sydney shone with green and his eyes were pits of red light.  “THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!  NO ONE CAN SURVIVE A BULLET TO THE HEAD LIKE THAT!  I SURE AS HELL DIDN’T AND NEITHER DID ANY OF THE OTHER BULLIES LIKE HER!”

Tucker, slowly, exited the browser and reactivated his Specter Deflector™ while Danny gently tugged Sydney back from the screen.  It stung, the dark reddish colors radiating off Sydney like heat, anger that wasn’t his own boiling in his chest.  Danny took a slow, deep breath, and when he breathed out he pushed the anger out of him with it.  “Breathe with me, Syd.  Can you do that?”

“I’m dead buster.”

“Yeah, and you don’t need to breathe, but can you?”  The glitching slowed ever so slightly, and Danny brought his energy as close to the surface as he could while still human.   “In and out, c’mon.  In,” the heat receded, concentrated, burned darker for it.  “Out.”  It dissipated in waves, ripples of static on his screens and Tucker grabbed the laptop to keep the current from ruining it.  They did that, breathing, for a while until Sydney looked less like a floating corpse and more like a monochrome translucent image.  He rubbed his arms and looked away while Danny turned to lock eyes with Tucker.  Tucker was busily typing away on the laptop now that nothing was interfering with the wifi signal.  “Tuck?”

“It’s a good thing Sydney stays away from the school,” he muttered, Sam snorting over the line.  “Is it possible for an unagitated ghost to have some color and look like a human being?”

“Uh, not that I know about.”  Danny glanced at Sydney and gave him a pat on the back.  “Syd?”

“I-I don’t know… I’ve been a bit stuck, on the other side you know?”  Sydney was becoming fuzzier at the edges and Danny sighed when he realized the other boy was invisible.  “Maybe someone else would know.”

“Right,” Tucker drawled.  “Syd, do you wanna come with us to go ask Agatha about this?  If we’re dealing with a well-hidden ghost, then I wanna make sure you two are on top of your game.  A hearty meal, or I guess a ghouly meal, is essential for any fight.”

Sydney at least flickered back into something easier on the eyes if not fully there, and he chuckled.  “Uh, maybe?  Who’s Agatha?”

“Agatha Reece,” Sam said over the call, pausing to cough into her arm.  “She’s the ghost of a lunch lady at Casper.”  Sydney’s white eyes went wider than humanly possible, a touch of sepia seeping into his greyscale.

“Ah, you know what, I think I’ll just head out and go see some sights.  I’m sure you two don’t need me to help you grab a snack.”  With that, Sydney flew through Tucker’s ceiling, and Danny leaned back in his chair, a heavy sigh on his lips.  It felt like a lot of pressure just rose off of his chest, though there another pressure entirely coming from his swirling thoughts.

“It’s a damn good thing I got Sydney out of the school before he actually saw Dash doing the shit I ranted to him about.”  They all laughed at that, and Danny felt a bit lighter still.  “Though, I imagine school’d be pretty interesting without him.”

“Yeah, we could actually walk around without worrying about getting shoved into a locker.”  Tucker stretched his limbs out, and Danny felt an ache in his joints just at the reminder.  “What a stereotype.”

“As much as I’m glad to cheer on the virtues of Jazz’s therapy sessions with Sydney,” Sam cut in with a shaky, light laugh of her own.  “We still need to figure this Spectra thing out.”

“I’m looking her up and while she’s not stupid enough to use the same name over and over again, her picture is sorta everywhere over the past five decades,” Tucker muttered.  Danny got up and rested his chin on Tucker’s shoulder, taking in the image of a barely, if at all, changing face go throughout the ages back to the 50s.  “Cause if she’s a ghost, she’s gotta be using a lot of energy to keep looking like that.”

“That’s if she’s a ghost,” Sam said.  There was a long moment of quiet after that, and Sam went off-screen, grabbing some book that looked older than Spectra.  “Guys, you just said a Jinni flew off to get revenge on a ghost, how do we know there aren’t other things out there.”

“Mom and Dad have been to other places before…” Danny felt his hand slipping out of reality as the realization hit him like a football to the face.  “They’ve made so many windows to other places and then if a drone could survive going in, they went in, and then Jazz and I went in with them.  Holy shit, what if there was stuff in there we just couldn’t see?”

“What did Sydney and Agatha call the other side?”  Sam sniffled.  “The Infinite Realms?  There’s probably a whole lot of things that Spectra could be.”

“Based on this track record of depression, she’s either a shitty psychologist who doesn’t get how the human mind works, or she’s fucking up people’s lives on purpose.”  Tucker shifted so Danny could see the news article that he was looking at better.  “That’s a lot of people who went from average mental states to killing themselves, or going into self-isolation.”

“Maybe she likes ruining people’s lives,” Sam muttered.  “There’s plenty of legends and myths about things that like to do that.  Danny, have your parents made anything that might help reveal a supernatural being hiding as a human?”

“I… maybe?  I’ll have to check, I haven’t been paying attention to their weapons or anything lately.”  He had been actively avoiding anything offensive that his parents made besides the plasma rifle he had.  He wasn’t looking to have things go off on him, after all.  “Tuck, you check with Agatha about what Spectra might be and I’ll head home, see what Mom and Dad have worked on.  Sam, you see if you can find anything on, I dunno, emotional vampires or straight-up assholes who love ruining lives in folklore.”

“Can do, captain, but there’s a lot of the latter in every kind of story.”  Sam offered a wave before ending the call and Danny sighed, sagging in his chair.

“Look at you, takin charge like a hero.”  Tucker hugged him again, and Danny leaned into his side.

“Yeah.  Let’s hope I can keep being a hero.”

[suicidalcatz]

DOG DAYS ARE OVER : CHAP 16

Pairing : Jake Kiszka x reader

Genre : College AU

Previous parts : Prologue ; chap 1 ; chap 2 ; chap 3 ; chap 4 ; chap 5 ; chap 6 ; chap 7 ; chap 8 ; chap 9 ; chap 10 ; chap 11 ; chap 12 ; chap 13 ; chap 14 ; chap 15

Masterlist : here

AN : Hi! Sorry I’m a bit late! Is this... the last chapter ? Oh my God. There will be an epilogue, too ! So in this chapter, there’s a misunderstanding and- I can’t tell eheh. Please feel free to tell me what you think about it because I sure had trouble writing this one. Thank you all for the love and support !

Chapter 16 : I do

Sooner than we thought, a consequent amount of work fell on all of us, preventing us from seeing each other. And like that, days went by... and then weeks. January had been a harsh month for everybody. A few teachers were late on their program so we had to learn more, write faster. Meanwhile others just enjoyed watching us suffer and kept giving more homework, letting us witness with horror how it piled up in a corner of our room like an insatiable monster that kept growing and growing. Those were the dark times. It became impossible for us to even have lunch together. Tensions began to rise. Josh was irritable because his singing teacher was a jerk to him. Mandy kept skipping more and more classes, running everywhere in town to find clothes. Jake, completely depressed, looked like a character from Corpse Bride, and not a pretty one. As for me, I was a mix of all of them. Living with Mandy has for the first time proven to have its downsides, as her stress was rubbing off on me, while my annoyance to some of my failed assignments got to her nerves too. The boys were no exception, and we had a perfect example of it during a lecture, when Josh snapped at the teacher after she made a snark comment about his last grade. All heads turned to him, even ours, and with a mix of shame and anger, he took his bag and slammed the door behind himself without a word. In retrospect, it had been so fucking cool, although a bit rude considering he didn't have to talk to her like that even with her sly remark... But the way he just told her off, took his belongings and proudly yet bitterly exited the amphitheater was one of the highlights of this year, goddamn the boy had balls.

One of the things that really helped me get through this horrible period was Greta Van Fleet's album on shuffle on my earphones accompanying me during my days in the workshop. And then one day around 2pm we all received a text from Josh.

« If we don't go drinking tonight I swear I will explode, I'm already having nervous breakdowns every week, I need to get out of this school, let's meet at 8 »

Well, the message couldn't be clearer than that, could it ? And my phone vibrated multiple times when the others replied, showing some « Thank God » and « Please let's » on the screen before I discreetly put it back inside my pocket. It had been the first time we went to the bar as a group, with Sam and Danny. And somehow, because we spent a pleasant night together without coming home too late or too drunk, we simultaneously thought it'd be a good idea to reiterate the experience. At least once a week, sometimes every day, we met at the café, occasionally bringing work with us and helping each other. It was close to our school thus convenient, but still far enough to allow us to take a breath of fresh air and think of something else for a while. Most of the time, it was deserted, the only few patrons that came to drink their coffee being regulars, and we enjoyed the calm, even if we were noisy ourselves. Sometimes, Mandy was too busy to come, sometimes it was Sam, so it happened that Danny and I were the only ones being here, or just the twins, but it didn't really matter, there was always one of us here and the others could always come to meet. Josh's idea had help us clear our minds and we were all thankful for that. What I wasn't thankful for, on the other hand, was the way his loud mouth spoke freely about things that didn't concern him at all, least of all Sam and Danny. Of course, he talked about the Jake situation. At first I was outraged and even slapped him on the arm, to which he just shrugged, explaining his brother was always late anyway, so we could talk about it. As if that was the issue here ! But as time went by, I calmed down. Sam and Danny already knew, having noticed but not wanting to adress the elephant in the room. Now that the subject had been thrown on the table though, it was different, and if at first Sam's awful comments about how we were both taking our sweet time pissed me off, now we discussed it quietly, confessing my thoughts and feelings in exchange for some advices.

Today was one of those days. The gang was reunited, sitting across a small round table after a tiring day, clinking glasses and chatting loudly, everybody cutting each other off during spicy topics that constantly created heated arguments. Mandy and Sam's bickering never failed to amuse us, with me falling back againt the couch laughing, Josh having climbed on a chair to yell over them in a dramatic manner, and Danny commenting their arguments with a sportscaster voice while they just pointed angrily at each other. It happened once or twice (make it thrice or fourth) now that the bartender had to come to our table to make us cool down, threatening to kick us out if we didn't, because he couldn't even hear the damn radio. Today, like any other day, the only one missing was Jake, fashionably late as always.

- You guys never agree on anything, that's frankly amazing, I said while wipping a tear from the corner of my eye.

Two murderous glare were instantly directed at me, dead serious, like their constant quarelling wasn't something you could take lightly. Of course, they never was any sort of resentment between them, it was more like a game that was entirely theirs. Mandy knew Sam liked to tease her to no end, and the boy never took the words she threw his way to heart. They were never hurtful anyway, they would always make sure of that.

- You know what they say..., announced Josh while taking a sip of his beer, love always starts with hatred.

- Nobody says that..., muttered a perplexed Danny.

However his confusion got rapidly interupted by Sam and Mandy's shouting, barking at Josh telling him how wrong he was about them while the curly boy smiled through his glass.

- I'd rather die, said my roommie.

- That should be my line, replied Sam.

Josh and I exchanged a mischevious and knowing glance that unfortunately didn't go unnoticed by his little brother. The long haired boy made a show of putting both elbows on the table before a devilish smile spread on his lips. Uh-oh.

- Speaking of which, how's Jakey ?

Admiring the way my cheeks grew red at the mention of the object of my affection, he patiently waited for my stuttering to stop while Mandy took side with him, adopting the same posture. Sitting between them, Danny comically raised his eyebrows, knowing damn well they'll torture me to no end, like they took the habit to do when Jake wasn't around. Of course Josh ignored my pleading eyes, enjoying where the conversation was going.

- You should know, you're his brother.

My reply was weak and didn't hide how bashful the subject made me, more reasons for him to pursue it.

- Come on, Mandy told me about the kiss of the century, there's no way nothing happened after that !

- For someone who claims Sam's a pain in the ass you guys are awfully close !, I exclaimed while watching her with an expression of fake betrayal.

- Hey, don't try to change the topic.

A long and loud sigh made its way out of my throat and my eyes were suddenly too absorbed by the bubbles of my soda spiralling to the surface to meet their expectant gazes. God why was it such a big thing to them ? Their fascination for my love life was starting to upset me, especially since it was a lost cause. There was really no reason to dwell upon it. Would they ever drop it ?

- Nothing happened between Jake and I. What do you want me to tell you ? It was just a kiss between friends, it doesn't mean anything.

At that, I felt my chest constrict. It didn't mean anything... for Jake, that is. For me, however... All of them suddenly went awfully quiet, in a very uncharacteristic manner. My head raised in surprise at their abrupt silence, only to be greeted by Jake's gaze on me, standing in front of our table. He must've been waiting for his chance to say hello all the while stepping on a conversation he wasn't meant to hear. My face must've lost all of its colors, and a glance around me confirmed what I feared ; judging by their awkward behaviours, Jake had heard. The boy cleared his throat, showing a toothy smile to the lot of us.

- Hi guys, whatcha talking about ?

During the few seconds he stayed with his back facing us to get a chair, we were all exchanging shocked and confused glances, mouthing hurried words to each other. Was he pretending he didn't  hear anything I said ? Did he genuinely not hear our conversation ? However much I pondered about it, and tried relentlessly to think of all the possibilities that could've happened just now, I was at a loss, it was no use. The only thing to do was to go along and play his game, pretending he hadn't just walked on us gossiping about him. It was so awkward. Danny and Josh were the first to bring a new and funny topic, throwing jokes his way, studying his reaction. They immediately put him at ease, inviting Sam and Mandy to the masquerade, effectively hiding their uneasiness for his and my sake. It wasn't working on me, though. I sank into the couch, feeling incredibly shameful. And the few times I tried to react to the conversation at hands, I saw Jake avoid my eyes. Fuck.

I would lie if I said what happened at the bar wasn't playing on loop on my mind. It had been impossible for me to read Jake's brown eyes when he interrupted us, but there was absolutely no doubt that the boy heard us. Maybe it was for the best. I was the one pretending we were just friends anyway, so it wouldn't change anything... except now that he was single a part of me couldn't help but hope I had a chance with him... until now. Because if I was sure of one thing at the moment, it's that Jake was certain I only saw him as a friend. Why was I so unlucky anyway ? Did I offend God in a previous life ?! Man, it was harsh... Just when I had a feeling things could evolve between us, everything got in the way. Work, misunderstandings, my stupidity... On the bright side, I was so thankful I didn't say anything shameful. Because I could've told an awful lot of those. And for nothing in the world I wanted him to walk in when I was making a speech about the soft gleaming of his scar under the sun, or the roundness of his ass. I would forever thank my ability to always find a way to relativise, even during a crisis like this one.

Another person with the same quality was Josh, on top of being a really observant boy, and a good friend. So it was no surprise to me when he nudged my arm during a lecture and leaned into my ear to ask if he could come over after school.

- You know you're always welcome, I whispered back.

Josh smiled a me, and the exchange between us should've ended right here, but I saw his eyes gaze at something behind me, his smile changing into a smirk. He must've caught me notice it because he turned to his notebook again, playing innocent. My head jerked into Jake's direction, studying his stiff figure and furrowed brows. What the hell were they playing at ?

During the few days that followed that incident at the bar, I didn't get any answers to that question. The twins kept exchanging glances whenever I was near one or the other, and the more days passed the more moody Jake looked. I had tried to text him several times during the week, making small talk, asking what he was up to, and sharing silly anecdotes, only to be faced with cold answers. It was like talking to a wall. Something was upsetting him, but I had no way to know if it was school related, because of Josh's behaviour, or if I was the cause of it.

It was friday night when Danny slammed open the café door, causing the bartender to scowl, before completely ignoring him to look for us through the small crowd, hurriedly coming to our table. The drummer threw himself on the couch next to Mandy, looking out of breath but over-excited. And while his happy yet sweaty face made me question him, it only took a simple look for his bandmates to know what was going on. Sam was the first to exclaim and jump on his feet, almost toppling the table with his thighs, making the glasses clink dangerously.

- Are you serious?!

Still out of breath, Danny nodded, interrupting his heavy panting to gulp down the beer Jake was offering him. Josh and him were the next to understand.

- Really ?!

- Okay what is going on, should we be excited to ?, asked Mandy who was sheltering her drink in case anyone else wanted to try and knock over their table.

The drummer raised a finger our direction, indicating he needed some more time to recover from his sprint, removing his scarf in the process. His face was beet red, and although he looked like he was the most athletic of the group, I got slightly concerned he was about to die. He must've ran a long distance real fast, and judging by our friends' hysteria and high-fives, the news were good.

- Greta Van Fleet is playing tomorrow night at O'Malley's.

He let it all out in one go but the words were cristal clear, and now it was Mandy and I's turn to cheer and applaud loudly, congratulating the boys and clinking our glasses together, already chatting about the event before a threatening « Shut up ! » came from another table.

- It's so great you guys ! But are you ready ? Tomorrow night is a bit...

Josh shrugged away my concerns, placing an arm around my shoulder, speaking with his hands.

- Not at all, doll, we're more than ready. In fact we wanted to play there for a while, but the place's always packed.

- Someone cancelled their show at the last minute, so Danny got to negociate, interrupted Jake to sum things up.

Despite the general enthusiasm around the table, I didn't miss the look Jake gave to Josh's hand resting on my shoulder. The boys all nodded, Sam ruffling Danny's hair while congratulating him for his hard work and perseverance. Everyone agreed to buy him drinks to thank him, ignoring his shy protests and rosy cheeks at all the praise. Without even being a member of their band, Mandy and I shared their excitement, already asking what the setlist would be and bargaining with Josh when he insisted that it was a secret. The O'Malley was an Irish pub, like you could guess by their name, located by the docks. Which only meant one thing : it was crazy popular among students. Not only from our campus, but another art school rivaling ours. To be honest the teachers were the ones competing, as us students from both universities often met and hung out together. A lot of them came to our festivals and events, thus becoming friends with us. We let them come to our parties, and they never forgot to invite us over for theirs. Greta Van Fleet playing at the O'Malley on a Saturday night would no doubt be a huge step forward for the boys' band. I could sense the doors of success were already waiting for them to push them open.

The boys rehearsed all day long Saturday, waking up before dawn and arriving early to set everything up and properly meet the owner of the bar. Pictures were sent to our groupchat, Sam explaining that the staff had thanked them for their availability, relieved that they quickly found another band to replace the one who couldn't attend. Mandy and I chose to come early too, arriving one hour before the show and already having trouble finding a seat through the sea of students occupying every inch of space available. Whereas it was because they were taking shelter from the cold, or because their feet ached from standing in the cold didn't matter to the boys, who were delighted to welcome with open arms the newcomers and introduce them to their music. It helped that the word had spread super fast on campus too, with Jake's post on the school's Facebook page. Nursing my beer next to Mandy at the far end of the bar, I recognized the girls from the other time, the night we had our Christmas party, chatting to their girl friends, standing in front of the stage. When the boys got in to set up their instruments, I saw them salute the band, shaking hands and exchanging friendly words with Josh while Jake didn't bother giving them more than a glance and a nod before turning back to his guitar, causing me to snort behind my glass. Mandy was quick to notice that.

- Well aren't you a sneaky little one.

- I don't know what you're talking about.

Paying for her cocktail and putting her change back in her purse, she adopted my posture, back resting against the bar, drink in hand, eyes to the stage. Wearing a black and gold fringe jacket, Jake was focusing on his guitar, tuning it with great care, pick stuck between his lips, the ring I offered him gleaming under the spotlights. Onstage, he looked out of this world, unattainable.

- You know they stand no chance, said Mandy.

It caught me off-guard. But did they ? I looked their way, observing their pretty faces, skin glowing with light makeup, batting their eyelashes, bracelets clinking against one another, long fingers playing with silk strands of hair. A part of me knew Mandy was right and that they couldn't replace me. But then again, incertitude argued that it was my ego talking, and that my confidence was misplaced. With Jake giving me the cold shoulder, I wasn't able to look at the situation with a fair point of view, and Mandy's opinion was made unrelevant by the simple fact that she was my friend. And one thing I knew for sure was that friends were biased, because they loved you. I chose to change the topic.

- What about you and Sam ?

- I don't know what you're talking about, she mimicked.

To make sure my stern look was effective, I turned to her completely, resting an elbow on the bar, while she comically took a long sip of her cocktail, avoiding my eyes, making me smile before I turned to face the stage once more. All barstools and chairs were taken, much to our inconvenience, and shifting from one foot to the other was the only thing I found to release some of the soreness.

- I saw you holding hands under the table.

She gasped audibly before giving me a death stare that just fueled my laughter. There was no way I didn't notice their act, and I was quite certain the others did too, but chose to ignore it. Which by the way was unfair since the lot of them commented my love life like it was a soap opera. However Mandy didn't have the time to give me a proper answer, cut off by Josh's words into the mic, greeting the crowd and announcing the show was about to start.

If anything, their second time playing was even better than the first one. The boys were on fire. Each member had their time to shine in the form of a solo, Josh being his charming self in the meantime, playing with the crowd and blowing kisses our way. They played some covers, encouraging everybody to sing along, but also songs we never heard before, that weren't on the album. One of them in particular allowing Jake to show off the extent of his guitar skills. He blew me away. Expression serious, toned skin glistening with sweat under the blue lights, while Josh's tambourine and melancholic cries accompanied the torturous sounds of his guitar. There was something special about this one, that made my chest constrict due to several emotions contradicting themselves at the same time, causing a turmoil within me. Intrigued by their music or just in need of a drink, several people came into the bar that night, packing the place with new faces, all of them staying for the amazing show the boys were providing for us. By the time they finished, I had long forgotten about my aching feet, instead welcoming the boys in a tight hug, complimenting and congratulating them. Mandy and I already had their beers ready, before anyone else could cut the ground from under our feet. Not that there was anything wrong with people buying them drinks, it was always a very nice thing to do, we just wanted to be the first ones to do it, at least for tonight. They were our friends, so it only seemed fair.

- Here.

Handing Jake his beer, I took a good look at his content face, smile plastered on his lips and moist strands of brown hair sticking to his forehead. He looked gorgeous, at peace and proud of himself and his band. Some people offered them drinks, like we thought they'd do, students came talking to them, to make small chat or to congratulate them. The boys took their time before packing up, talking and laughing with us, their enthusiasm contagious. When closing, the bartender even invited us all to stay inside and have a chat, drinks on the house. It felt incredibly nice to be able to stay here while everybody else had to leave, even the few girls still talking with Jake. Now I'm not gonna lie I might have directed a smile or two their way when the bartender closed the door behind them...

Going back to the dorms was... not an easy task to say the least. We had to call a cab, but as we couldn't all fit in it, we split teams, the most important thing being their music instruments. But even before that... Danny's drumkit was heavy as hell, the boys were tipsy enough to be clumsy and numerous times their instruments threatened to slip and drop on the hard conrete. And even if he was the only one who didn't need to carry anything at all, Josh was completely wasted, singing loud gibberish nonsense, waking up the dogs and barking back at them, removing his shoes and throwing them to trees... Man he was so out of control when drunk even the 5 of us couldn't properly babysit him. It made me realize it was the first time I was sober when he wasn't. And I didn't dare imagine how we must've wreaked havoc the night we brought back the couch to our dorm. Of all of us, Jake once more proved that he was the most serious and reasonable. It wasn't much of a surprise, actually. From what I knew, in situations that required seriousness, the brunette had always been this composed, level-headed boy. I loved that about him, his ability to remain remarkably quiet, then go crazy all of a sudden, before returning to his peaceful self. Josh's shoes in hand, a smile tugged at the corners of my lips when I saw Jake giving his brother a piggy back ride, moved by the fond scene in front of my eyes.

When the cab finally reached our school, Danny and Sam were waiting for us sitting on cases, explaining Josh had forgotten to hand them the key to their door. Since he was the one who didn't need to transport anything, it was only fair he at least took care of the keys in case they'd got lost in a guitar case or whatnot. I couldn't help but think we looked like a bunch of burglars, when everybody started muttering at the same time and hushing each other in the dark of the night. Mandy yawned, waiting to kiss them goodnight to go to sleep, and Jake sighed, defeated.

- Okay Josh, give me the keys.

Once again carrying his twin on his back, the long haired boy nudged his sleepy cheek with his shoulder to wake him up, not minding the drool on his jacket. Mandy couldn't contain a cute noise when Josh turned his head to get more comfortable in his brother's back, making Jake snort in the process.

- Just drop him, suggested Sam right before Danny elbowed him.

He really could've, to wake him up, but it seemed like Jake didn't have the heart to shake him out of his peaceful drowse. More abruptly, he shook his shoulder, causing Josh to whine.

- What, he groaned.

- We're in front of the dorms, give me the keys.

There was a silence during which Josh sighed, taking his time to process what his brother was asking, unfazed by Sam's complaints. The boy rubbed his eyes, sliding an arm in Jake's back to comfortably put his head against it. I could tell he was beginning to feel heavy, because Jake's hold on him slipped more and more frequently and he had to give him a small but strong push to get him back into place.

- What keys, he finally said.

Mandy and I exchanged a glance, one of those that said « Shit's about to go down », and Danny's face lit up with concern. You could see he already had the worst case scenario figured in his mind and was imagining them sleeping in the school's park.

- What do you mean you-

- Sam, Jake warned him. Josh, remember, we told you to take the keys to our rooms so we don't put them by mistake in one of the cases.

- No you didn't.

He was now perfectly awake, shaken by the confusing accusations, and got off of Jake's back, stumbling a bit, probably because his legs must felt numb after being carried around for a long period of time. Sam got up too, not amused by the situation. He was cold, he was tired, and he still had a lot of shit to lift on the stairs and if possible he wanted to be done with it before dawn.

- Yes we did !, the bassist said with his arms raised in the air.

- Yeah, we did, Danny assured him when Josh's gaze found his face for some sort of confirmation.

Silence again. Somehow, Mandy and I didn't dare to watch them. It remembered me of those situations when parents are having a fight and then turn to you... and start finding every excuse they can to yell at you even though you've done nothing. Well... Let's say we tried to summon our inner chameleons while they all started to get pissed at Josh. It was kind of awkward and we couldn't find a good time to leave. Besides, we couldn't let them sleep under the stars.

- Why don't you sleep at ours for tonight ? You'll return to the O'Malley tomorrow and ask them about the keys.

It was the most Mandy thing I ever said since we met the guys, but it was the only solution right now. It took us another hour to climb the stairs with all those heavy and big instruments cases, probably waking up half of the dorm in the process, but it felt so good to be home. The room was warm, and the bed was calling me. The first thing Josh did was to dive head first onto the couch without even taking the time to remove his coat, and fell asleep almost immediately, pulling the blanket on him (more like letting it fall on his body). Sitting around the kitchen table, we all had a hot cup of tea/coffee to warm us up and get some of the alcohol out of our system. Danny was the first one to word his concern about the bedding.

- It's really nice you girls allow us to sleep here for the night, he shyly said, but...

His big hands were entirely covering his mug, enjoying its warmth, thumb caressing the edge of it, thinking of a good way to phrase it. An embarrassed look was adorning his features, which I couldn't help but find endearing.

- There's no room for six... is it ?

- You're right, Jake said. Maybe I should stay awake ?

I didn't know if it was a rhetorical question or if he was being serious but there was no way anybody stayed awake while the others were asleep. First of all, it was creepy. But above all, it wasn't fair. Thinking hard, I let a hand run through my hair, ruffling the locks in its passage.

- Oh, Mandy I think there's an airmat under your bed ! There, two down, four more to go. Let's see...

- We just have to share beds, suddenly said Sam.

All heads turned to him, and the boy put his cup on the table, shrugging.

- What ? It's the easy solution. There are two big beds in the room, don't tell me nobody thought about it. What do you think, Jake ?

His cough was so loud he spilled his drink everywhere on his hands, color leaving then regaining his face alternaly. Standing up to lay his empty cup in the sink, Sam patted his back, wicked smile on his face.

- Then it's settled. Let's go, Mandy.

Oh you sneaky son of a...

I should've seen this coming. I should've known better. Of course Sam would do something like that, it was so him, I couldn't believe I let my guard down like that. And his little act with Mandy, pretending they didn't like each other and then snuggling in bed, ah, I hated my friends. The sadistic bastard even got Danny to play along in his three years plan to make my life miserable.

It was uncomfortably silent for a room filled with six young adults, our breathing being the only noise audible. With the halfway closed curtains, the dim light was dark enough for us to distinguish forms and silhouettes painted in different shades of blue and grey. Sometimes, the sound of a cover brushing against the mattress will get me out of my thoughts, other times it will be Josh's sleep talking or Danny's serene snoring. Sam had lied. The bed wasn't big at all. It was cramped, at best, and I couldn't calm down at all. Jake's warmth was suffocating, my thumping heart wouldn't slow down, and I was over conscious of every little thing he was doing. My throat instinctively tried to swallow the lump residing there when I felt the covers ruffling on my skin, Jake's hot breath now brushing my neck.

- Can't sleep ?

His husky voice whispering in my ear caused an uncontrollable shiver to run down my spine. Each of his breathes awoke goosebumps on my skin, covering their path like grass would grow after the rain. It always amazed me, the power he had over me, without even realizing it. Just two words murmured in the crook of my neck and my body was almost trembling already. As my voice was caught in my throat, my body reacted on its own and I shook my head slightly, enough for him to notice. Jake sighed. I could hear him rustling and moving behind me, careful not to touch me and not knowing what to do with his long arms.

- Did you mean it ?, he said after a while.

Furrowing my brows in confusion wasn't going to work, so I turned to face him, both lying on our side to look at each other in the dark. I could only see the shadows of his face, but by now my eyes were accustomed enough to distinguish his expressions more clearly. Jake swallowed hard, gaze focusing on anything but my eyes, looking... confused and rather saddened, discouraged.

- What you said at the bar.

At the bar... My brain had trouble seeing where he was going, but my body must've sensed it on instinct because my heart started pounding madly, as if wanting to warn me of what was coming. Suddenly brave enough to face me, Jake's eyes stared into mine, intense yet unsure.

- Do you only see me as a friend... ?

Unable to run away, I had to face him, and answer him. My voice was still caught in my throat, and my palms were getting sweaty. Jake was dead serious. So much that I thought for a second I was dreaming. His eyes weren't leaving mine, I had to answer. But what was the good thing to say ? What would I do if I told him the truth and he only saw me as a friend ? From my perspective he led me into thinking there might be more but... My feelings for him were blurring everything. And if I lied... and he wanted to be more than friends... Then I'd lose him.

- Jake...

- Because I really want to kiss you right now.

His hand hovered above my head, fingers carefully rustling my hair, pushing some strands behind my ear and brushing my cheek. His eyes, half-lidded and gaze burning, were following every inch his digits traced on my skin. Carefully, Jake's thumb came caressing my lower lip, slowly, painfully so, admiring how soft it felt against his finger, parting it slightly from its twin. A ragged breath escaped from them, and his eyes found mine again, dying to get permission. Shyly, my shaky hand gripped his shirt, pulling it close. It was the only thing he needed to lose all control, and he swiftly straddled my hips, framing my head with his arms, before ghosting his lips over mine. My mind was foggy, and my brain couldn't understand anything anymore, all I knew was that I had waited for this for so long, I didn't want to waste any more time now. Arms snaking around Jake's neck, I closed the distance separating us, the soft and awaited contact causing us to sigh in unison. It felt so good, both inside and out. His plump lips captured mine with a mixture of longing and hunger, while my heart was about to burst from happinness. With confidence, I embraced him more, pulling him closer to me, biting his lip and admiring the way it made him gasp, feeling his shaky fingers hesitating to touch me, like he was under some kind of delirium tremens and I was the fantasy haunting his nights. It only made me want him more. Never once did he try to touch me in a way that I wasn't ready for yet, keeping it chaste, and I'll forever be thankful for that. It seemed like we both had silently agreed to take our time, but I couldn't concentrate on that right now. Not when Jake's tongue was licking my lips, taking my lower one between his teeth to playfully chew on it, making me pant, fingers lost in his long brown hair. There was a sense of urgence to this kiss, of need even, like he had been waiting for it for so long he couldn't refrain himself anymore. The mere thought of it made me hot. Eventually, we cooled down, and Jake stayed on top of me, leaning on his arms, covering my face with soft kisses, the sound of them resonating in the room. We looked at each other for a while, and I couldn't stop a bubbly giggle, making him chuckle too.

- Fuck... I had thought about this moment for so long, his raspy voice murmured.

- Me too.

- I always thought you liked Josh better.

So that was what it was about, all those past days... Josh upsetting Jake on purpose because he was jealous. What a brat, I couldn’t believe them, so silly.

- Dummy. I think I like you.

My voice was almost inaudible, barely a whisper. It made me blush, but now it was out, and it felt so good to get rid of this weight. Jake nuzzled my neck, taking in my scent, tickling me.

- You think ?

I could tell he was as embarrassed as me, and probably not as confident as he looked, because his cheeks were burning hot, and he wouldn't face me. Against my chest, the accelerated beating of his heart was so loud it seemed like it was communicating with mine.

- No, I said. I'm sure.

Slouching against me in a relieved manner, the boy let out a sigh that burned my skin, before shifting to comfortably rest his chin on my chest, facing me with a smile on his face.

- Good. Because I do too.

Even in the dark, I could see the way his cheeks were a darker shade of gray than the rest of his features. Jake liked me. A huge wave of joy went through my body, overcoming me with both delight and relief. There was no words I could put on this sensation. Suddenly, it was like every other problem in the world had faded away, and I finally understood Edith Piaf's La Vie En Rose. Being in his arms, lying against one another, skin against skin, everything finally made sense.

- Come here, I whispered.

We kissed again, playful and teasing, barely containing our excited giggles.

- Shut up !!

Sam's pillow came flying our way, quickly followed by Josh, Mandy, and Danny's.

- Fucking date already !

- So annoying, people are trying to sleep !

More cushions came crashing down on our bed, making us laugh for real this time, as Jake took them in his hands to fight back. Soon, shouting, laughter and feathers filled the room, as the sun was beginning to appear in the clear sky of February. And as we were all screaming and throwing pillows at each other, I couldn't help but smile, and exchange warm glances with Jake.

Yeah, with him by my side, everything's going to be just fine.

[vino-and-doggos]

Cheers to the New Year

Read on AO3  |  Written for @lilbreadbun

Rated: G

Words: 2201

Summary: Just returned from active duty, Roy Mustang is bartending his Aunt Chris's karaoke holiday party at the bar. A beautiful blonde takes the stage and her voice puts Roy under a spell. If only it weren't too good to be true.

Happy holidays, @lilbreadbun, from your Secret Santa!! This is something that I’ve wanted to write for a very long time, so thank you for giving me the opportunity to write it! I hope you enjoy <3

~

Bah humbug, Roy thought to himself. Half his mind was joking, but the other half was dead serious. 

It wasn’t that he hated Christmas — he used to love the holiday, in fact. It was more that he couldn’t enjoy the holiday anymore. Fake trees and pre-packaged holiday sweets reminded him too much of Maes, a man for whom even Ebenezer Scrooge would have emptied his coffers in pursuit of the perfect Christmas present. He sighed and put down another dry glass on the rubber mat behind the bar.

Roy looked at the dark wooden interior surrounding him and had to stop himself just short of rolling his eyes at the tacky — yet festive, his sisters assured him — decorations that littered the bar. Tinsel trees shoved into corners and ornaments hung from the ceiling left remnants of glitter on every flat surface. Lights were strung everywhere, casting the bar in an odd, multicolored glow.

Because of course, a bar called Christmas Cheers had to go out for the holiday of its namesake, right?

The biggest problem was, in Roy’s opinion, that it attracted the now-college age people that he went to high school with who were home on winter break. It was cute and kitschy and Instagrammable or Snapchattable. Life was not designed to be lived through the screen of a smartphone or viewed through filters. And those that desired to do so did nothing but grate on Roy’s last nerve. 

There was a reason Roy lost contact with his friends from high school when he joined the military, and frankly, he had no interest in trying to reconnect. He would take the group chat with the friends he made while deployed over the flesh and blood frenemies who dropped him for enlisting any day.

Glancing at the clock, he let out a groan. Only half an hour until they opened.

“I don’t wanna hear that, Roy-Boy,” he heard a gravelly voice say from around the corner. 

Roy really did roll his eyes this time, but now it was a gesture in quasi prayer to Someone-he-wasn’t-even-sure-existed to grant him patience. Because if he was given strength, he surely was going to hurt someone before the night was over.

“I’m sorry, Aunt Chris. I’m just really not looking forward to this. I can usually handle normal nights, but karaoke? It’s going to bring in every screeching college girl in the tri-county area. You’re lucky that you’re friends with the DA and that the cops don’t police this place for underage drinking, because this stunt is going to -”

“Cut it out, Roy,” Chris said exasperatedly. “Your melodrama isn’t going to help you get through the night. Yes, there will most likely be underage college kids here trying to drink tonight. Luckily, though, I have a really good bartender,” she emphasized while motioning to him, “who knows how to properly check IDs.”

He grumbled, “That doesn’t stop their of-age friends from buying drinks for them.”

“Seriously. If you’re going to be like this all night, go and wallow in your room, Roy. I understand you’re grieving, and you’re working through your tour overseas. I want to support you the best I can, but this is also my business. If you’re not going to be full of Christmas Cheer tonight -” Roy rolled his eyes again - “then I’ll ask one of your sisters to bartend.”

“No,” he replied, a tone of longing edging into his voice, almost as though he wanted her to do just that. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”

He turned back to the bar and began prepping lemons, limes, and oranges, but he couldn’t help but smile when he heard his aunt mumble, “Who knows. Maybe you’ll meet someone tonight.”

Roy had to admire her optimism, if nothing else.

~

“Hey man, can I get two beers?” a kid with jet-black hair pulled back into a ponytail shouted over the music. Behind him stood a short blond with long hair who had a smug grin on his face. 

“Just need to see some ID first,” Roy said back over the dulcet tones of a curvy brunette with pouty red lips murdering “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”

Who the hell sings this at karaoke? Roy pondered.

“Aww, come on, we’re legal,” the blond said, his voice lilting with the cadence of someone trying to convince another of what they’re saying. And failing, miserably.

“I’m sure you are,” smiled Roy, “but I’m sorry, I have to see some ID for anyone who looks younger than 40.” He hesitated for a moment. “For both of you.”

“Oh, well, Ed. We tried!” the first kid laughed.

“Ling! You just busted us!” the one apparently named Ed yelled, smacking his friend on the shoulder. 

“Listen,” Roy started, “I’m feeling especially festive tonight, so I’ll let you stay and drink any non-alcoholic drink you want for free.”

The boys weighed their options by silently exchanging looks before Ling turned back to Roy.

“We’ll take two cokes — but can you put them in lowball glasses with drink stirrers?” Ling asked with an air of conspiracy.

“Sure thing, kid,” he chuckled, pulling out the soda gun. 

Right before he handed the drinks over, he stuck a lime on the rim of the glass. As he handed them over, the boys nodded in solidarity and thanks. Roy just smiled in return.

He turned to the far end of the bar, the end closest to the stage, to check on the patrons seated there. A few indicated refills, so Roy pulled out new glasses and started pouring. As he was pouring the perfect mug of beer, he heard the tell-tale clicks of a song with an a capella opening.

“Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame, darlin’ you give love a bad name!”

Huh. This chick wasn’t bad.

Roy walked the beer to the end of the bar, taking a moment to catch a glimpse of the small stage through the crowd. What he saw caused his jaw to drop.

A stunning blonde in a deliciously tight, yet simple, black t-shirt and a pair of jeans that looked as though they were painted on danced about the stage. Her loose hair fell just past her shoulders and swung around her rhythmically as she whirled around. She danced in a way that made it obvious that alcohol flowed through her system, but Roy didn’t remember serving her. The impressive part is that she actually was on-key and hitting the marks without staring at the screen. Bon Jovi’s melody blasted through the speakers, and the audience was eating it up.

“Ohhh, you’re a loaded gun…”

Damn. Roy shook his head and went back to refilling drinks. She was a siren, and he was not immune to her call. Over everything else, he continued hearing her voice singing the upbeat rock tune. He had to ask another patron what their order was three times before he finally understood what they were asking for.

The song ended with raucous applause and cheering. Mostly male, Roy noted, but many females sounding out their appreciation, as well. The DJ had to shout the name of the next singer repeatedly through the system before they approached the booth to grab the microphone. It was the wildest the bar had gotten all night.

However, the excitement was short-lived. The next singer (Roy thinks he heard the DJ call him Alex?) decided to sing Eric Clapton’s “Tears in Heaven.” Why can’t this crowd �� with the exception of one — pick karaoke songs that are worth a damn?

Despite the current song filling the bar, Roy couldn’t get her out of his head. Her song rattled around in his brain, her voice continuing to envelop him in strains of familiar melody. Just then, he heard a female voice from behind him.

“Hey!” it exclaimed brightly.

He knew that voice.

Roy turned on his heel to meet the amber eyes of the best Bon Jovi impersonator he’d ever seen or heard waving at him with a sweet smile on her face. Her beautiful blonde hair was now tied back in a low ponytail, bangs still draped across her forehead; it was darker than he originally thought it was, more of a honeyed blonde. He decided to play it cool and nodded his head in acknowledgment.

“What can I get for you?” he asked, trying to make sure he was heard over the music, but also making sure his voice sounded smooth and rich.

“Just a water, please,” she responded, eyes shining in the incandescent holiday lights.

Roy chuckled deeply as he reached for a glass. “Singing take it out of you?”

“It always does,” she nodded, laughing in return.

“Always?” Roy questioned, barely registering that he had even spoken it aloud. “I’m sorry,” he started, waving his left hand and placing her water glass down with his right. “Is there anything else I can get you?”

“Nah, thanks though,” she winked.

He followed the head of blonde hair through the sea of people and sighed. 

She was so out of his league.

~

Hours later, the crowd was winding down. Only a few were left, and hardly anyone left was singing. The DJ announced last call for songs and the bar, wishing all a happy holiday season.

Roy had already started to clean as best he could behind the bar — bottles in their proper place, the beginnings of labels for the cooler — when he heard that voice again.

“Hey!” that same exclamation; that same intonation. He smiled as he faced her.

“I’m surprised I didn’t see you again,” he said, smirking.

“I had someone grab me water when they came up for their drinks,” she explained.

Huh. So that’s why he didn’t see her for the rest of the night. Wait a minute.

“You got up there and sang and danced like that completely sober?” he questioned.

His tone was light and teasing but with an underlying tone of awe and surprise.She laughed in response. Roy could have sworn that she made the room brighter. 

“Yup. My mother used to say that I’m a natural-born performer.”

“She was right,” he affirmed. “I’m Roy, by the way.”

“Riza,” she offered, extending her hand across the bar.

He took her hand, so soft and warm in his cold, calloused palm, and shook.

“I just wanted to say thanks for the fantastic service tonight. Many lesser bartenders would have lost their cool with the number of people in here, but we never waited long for drinks.” Riza smirked as she pulled a $20 bill out of her back pocket and slid it into the fishbowl that was acting as a tip jar.

“That’s way too generous; I can’t accept that,” Roy protested weakly. “You said just had water all night -”

“Don’t worry about it,” Riza interrupted, waving him off.

“Listen…” Roy started. “We have an event here on New Year’s Eve, too… Same kind of stuff as tonight, karaoke and drinks, but there’s also going to be a buffet with food… If you’re interested?” he trailed off hopefully.

“Oh, that sounds fun! I think I’ll still be in town then, but I’ll have to double-check. Will you be working?”

This was it. Take the chance, Roy.

“I was scheduled to, but I’m thinking about taking the evening off to enjoy the party.” Do it, Roy. Shoot your shot. “Would you be interested in coming with me?”

“Oh!” Riza said, a blush dusting across the bridge of her nose. “I - well, I’m - not really - um -”

The shot missed the target completely.

It was Roy’s turn to turn red. 

“Forget I said anything, I was just thinking that maybe we could... Oh my god, please, I’m sorry, just -” 

“Roy, stop, it’s fine,” Riza cut off his rambling. “I just didn’t quite know how to say…” She paused and inhaled. “I’m in a relationship.”

“I’m so sorry,” he said, and this much was true, in more ways than one. “I didn’t know.” Roy hoped that the earth would open up and swallow him. Right then.

“How could you?” she chuckled. “We just met.”

“Babe? Are you ready to go?” a voice sounded to Roy’s right. A decidedly feminine voice. 

He whipped around to see another blonde with waist-length hair the color of cornsilk. She stood by the door with a group of four or five others.

“Riza?” she prompted.

“Sorry, Liv, I’ll be right there,” Riza smiled before turning back to Roy. She extended her hand to him once more. “Friends?”

Smiling, he agreed. “Friends.”

Riza walked to the door and grabbed her coat from Liv. As she was walking out the door, she shouted over her shoulder, “See you on New Year’s Eve, Roy!”

Friends. He could do friends.

He smiled and started humming. He was almost to the chorus before he realized the tune was “Auld Lang Syne.”

He might have been shot down, but at least he wasn’t shot through the heart as Riza’s song might have suggested. There was an odd sense of hopefulness about him, though; a new year was coming. Sparing the whole “new year, new me” nonsense, Roy truly felt like the next year would bring about healing, hope, and friendship.

Bring it on.

[dimensionwriter]

Deadliest Friend

Gender Neutral Monster x Genderless Reader

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I don't know why I've been struggling to write lately. I would start something and struggle to finish it. So, I apologize of this doesn't reach the standard. I just wanted to try to write SOMETHING to try to break this writer block. So, enjoy.

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You're use to a lot of things happening in your life. But sometimes, something just wear you out completly. A great example will be this week you just had.

It started off Sunday with you simply going down to the bakery to get something nice to eat on a lovely afternoon. When this old woman decided to crossed the road without looking both ways. And guess what happen to be speeding down the road? A tiny kitten, nah. More like a 18 wheeler carrying stacks and stacks of logs. In a moment of blind panic, you ran within an inch of you life and shoved the woman out of the way. The two of you crashed down on the side walk as the 18 wheeler sped past.

Even in your dazed state, you felt proud that you saved someone life. But that feeling quickly vanished when she started beating you with her cane while screaming at you to get off her. She then proceeded to walk away while grumbling how she's lived through more wars that you could count and how she was perfectly able to help herself. Not a single thank you came out of her mouth.

Then Monday came and your phone somehow died in the middle of the night, while still being plugged in. Meaning, not a single lovely melody drifted from your phone to wake you from your peaceful slumber. So when you woke up with the sun blazing through your window, you knew you messed up.

You proceed to do the entire olympic course within your house as you got ready for work, not even grabbing breakfast or lunch. You barely had a shoe on when you exited your house, it wasn't the time to think about food. But two hours in your job made you wonder if it would be okay to eat your shoe from how hard your stomach was trying to digest itself.

Tuesday was pretty decent, well, except for your closet's railing deciding to snap in the middle of the night waking you up into a fearful frantic state. You couldn't call in becuase it was late at night, so that was something future you was going to have to worry about.

Wednesday was the defintion of hell on earth. Your phone had died completely, not just the battery. Your phone didn't respond to any thing, only showing a cracked black glossy screen that reflected how much of a mess you were. So you had to drive to your cellphone company to get a new one. And then call up your residence manager to send someone over to fix the poles in your closet. You tried not to think about your piles of clothes laying everywhere on the ground.

Thursday was a little better with only all you electricity in your house being cut off. There was a storm that apparently happen during the night that knocked out all of the electricity in only one house, yours. You had to navigate your house with a flashlight and the sight of a blind person.

And all that leads up to today, Friday. You had the day off since the repair people should be coming over to fix the railing later in the afternoon. And your lights should be back on by night time, hopefully if nothing else goes wrong.

With rough sandy texture under your fingers, you slowly flipped through novel, soaking up each word. Your house was lit up from the multiple of candles you have recieved as gift during the holiday from coworker who barely knew you. But as a bonus, your house smell absolutely divine.

"….." You stopped reading to look up around at the living room you were in. It sounded like something was mumbling to you. "…turn.."

You felt chills go down your back as you were able to make out a single word out of the mumbling around you. "Turn?" You asked into the open air with a small hope that nothing would respond back to you.

"The page," it whispered in your ear. You spun your head around to see nothing but shadows. You thought it was the shadows from the candle light, but some of it remain unmoved.

"Who are you?" You asked slamming the book shut, just in case you would have to run as fast as you could out of your door. This week just had to get worse, didn't it.

"I am the beginning of the end. I am the face you see in your last breath. I am-" you cut whatever it was about to continue rambling about by holding your hand up. The shadows around the flames seem to stopped moving allowing you to get a shape out of the thing.

It was a tall broaded creature that was really blending itself into the shadow, almost like it was feeding off of them.

"I asked who you are. Not your backstory," you grumbled scooting to the edge of your sofa. Your feet touched the cool carpet. Trying to easy away the panic, you slowly ran your toes through the strands of carpet.

"Oh, well," they mumbled their voice sounding odd. It was like it was unusually high and extremely low, forming this grey inbetween. "I'm Death."

"Death?" You asked raising your eyebrow to look at them. You imagine death to be a lot more different than what is infront of you. Well, from what you can see.

"Show me yourself then Death," you taunted not believing them. It was probably just the kid next door trying to prank you. From the zombie fiasco, you wouldn't be surprise if he did this.

"Wait, you want see me?" They said in shock causing your smirk to rise up. They didn't expect that now did they. It was probably them that were cutting off the light.

"Yes, I want to see what Death looks like in the flesh," you said not even trying to cover up your heavy sarcastic tone.

"If you insist. But please reframe from screaming, for you humans are fragile and.. I don't want anything to happen to you."

Your eyebrows dropped down at the tone of that sentence. The word chocies was odd and their voice dropped down to a thick grumble at the end almost making it impossible to understand them.

You didnt have long to question the meaning of their sentence when all the candles started burning higher and brighter. You jumped up in shock as the candle infront of you became a roaring fire.

The entire room lit up making you squint your eyes at the new light source. You turned your head around to see all the candles were like that

"What the.." You sentence was cut off as you turned to where your neighbor's child should have been, but something entirely different was there.

The creature was something past anything your imagination could come up with. They seem to be towering above you, even though they were only barely touching your roof.

The body looked wrong. There looked to be a midnight black torso covered with dark silver veins twirling around like intricate designs. But there was a set of ribs bone ontop of the skin that were a blood red.

The legs were similar to what you imagine for a dragon with glimmering black scales. They turned into sharp talons that seemed to be digging deep into your carpet.

Your eyes slowly drifted upwards again at the bone covered toroso to see the arms. They too big to be proportional with his body and seem to dangle at his side, brushing the back sides of his calves. His fingers went from the black flesh colour to talon like sharp nails that looked like they could pull your heart out just by simply poking you.

They had long flowing black hair that reached farther than their arms. The hair seem to form a cloak around them with something white peaking through at the top.

You were a curious creature. And maybe just a little bit stupid. You lean over to the creature and pushed the hair back.

Instead of a human face, there seem to be a mask ontop. The mask was of antelope skull with its horns painting to a dark red, same as the ribs on their torso.

"So, you're death," you said looking at the eye holes of the skull. If you stared hard enough, you can see something moving behind the skull.

"I am death," they stated leaning forward a little. The skull pressed gently into your finger making you realize that the skull was too cool to be made of bones. It was probably crystals or somrthing.

"I imagine you to be different," you said looking down at the body again. Their form was sleek but still had some muscles in it.

"Humans have a limited imagination. It quite funny seeing your version of me. The only noticable thing being a black cloak and a scythe," they said and a small thing of laughter came out of them, shaking their frame.

"So death, why are you in my home? And if you say for me, I am booking it out of here," you said pushing the hair back trying to see any emotions present on their face, well mask you guess.

"No of course not. I couldn't bear taking such a thing from this horrific world," they said lifting their arm up. You glanced down to see their arm laying on the arm rest.

"They why are you here?" You asked dropping your eyebrows in suspicious. They seem to freeze at the question. You felt something brush past your knee and looked down to see that their talons were pushing into your couch.

"Oh, why am I here?" They mumbled looking down causing their hair to fall out of your hand. "I'm here because… well... you see."

You noticed that their mask was turning from a white to a light pink. Is the make part of their face? Wait, that means death is blushing right now.

"Calm down. You acting like I'm accusing you of being the reason all this stuff happen," you joked trying to calm them down. But their mask turned a bright red as they brough their head down in shame.

"Wait, are you serious? How did you manage to kill my phone? I got in trouble with my boss for being late," you yelled getting angry. You lean over the arm rest to get closer to death. You don't know the consequences of fighting death, but you are about to find out.

Their arms shot out to hold you in place causing their hair to swing back. Allowing you to see their mask was now pure red, matching the horns. But you noticed that there was now a pair of golden spheres in the eye socket. They were shaking slightly, as if working as their eyes.

"I didn't mean to. I was trying to walk past it, but the talon accidently touched it and it died. And I sincerely apologize for your closet. I-I slide in there to hide in there when you kept moving in your sleep and my shoulder put too much pressure on it," they rambled quickly with their voice jumping on random octaves. You blinked as you processed the information.

You let out a gasp and jumped out of their reach. You stood ontop of you couch as you looked at them with fear. "Where you watching me while I was asleep?"

"No!" They squeaked backing away. Their arms shot up to cover their face, clearly embarrassed. But it was obvious they were lying to you.

"You were. I don't care if you're human or not, but that's weird. How would you feel I were to watch you sleep," you yelled jumping on the couch.

"That would be kind of nice." They grumbled something but you couldn't understand them. "I mean, I know it was wrong, but that was the only way to see you without you seeing me."

The anger kind of subsided, but there was still some there. "Why?" You asked confused.

"Well, I'm sure you wouldn't be please with someone like this," their hand displayed their definetly not human body to you," appearing to you. So, I tried to stick to the shadows, which is hard when you humans are light based."

Light based? You glanced around at the numerous candles burning through your house. Oh, before your electricity went out, your lights were always on. Guess would have been hard for them to navigate.

"But you still didn't answer my question. Why are you here? Why are you trying to see me?" You asked splaying your hand against your chest. They started playing with the bottom of their hair as if they were trying to distract yourself.

"Well, Sunday, I was schedule to retrieve an old woman soul. She was schedule to get hit by an 18 wheeler around noon. But this human stopped it somehow and I was… well curious. So I started following you around, which I knew was creepy, but humans can't see us when we don't want them to, so I was just gonna stay for a little bit. But then I became fascinated by how you lived your normal human life. And so, I continued to watch. I didn't plan on staying for too long or causing too much trouble."

"If you wanted to get to know me, you could have just simply talked to me, like we are doing now. I'm sure you thought I would scream my head off, but I didn't, did I?" You sat down on the back out your couch. It was kind of uncomfortable, but it will have to due for now.

"I guess not. So your not scared of me," they asked talking a step forward, slowly sinking their talons into the carpet. The high burning candles casted an eerie light over the creature beside you. But the light pink blush on their mask and the way the talons on their hands were twirling the ends of their hair, made them seem like the least threating thing in the world.

"As long as you stop staring at me while I sleep," the blush returned back heavier," and don't lurk in the shadow. I'll say we could be good friends."

"Friends," they whispered as if testing the word. "I've never had a friend before." You jumped off the back of the couch. You slowly made your way over to the creature. They truly did tower over you.

"Well, there's a first for everything," you said sticking your hand out towards them. They looked down at your hand before slowly lifting their owns and laying it gently into yours. Their skin was slightly cooler than yours, but it felt pleasant. Their skin felt like silky and flawless. "You can now say you got yourself a friend Death."

Part 2

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Tadaaa. Yeah, I didn't have the usual things I like to include, but at the same I time I really hope y'all like it. Please comment on any of my works, I love reading them. Tell me what you would like to see more of or if you interested in seeing me write somrthing new. I'm also interested in writing headcanons, so start requesting some. Any way, enjoy your the rest of your day or night.

[halfasleepoetry]

14.

it must have been sometime after seven in the evening, as dusk is settling into every nook and corner of the house, shadows getting heavier and longer and orange light bathes over exposed surfaces.

ben is sitting slouched down, his back at the wrong angle, and if he stays long enough like this both his back and his neck will kill him, but joe is sitting in the exact same position beside him, their bodies as if two parallel lines running beside each other, pressed close shoulder to shoulder, arm to arm, right to their sock-covered toes. he doesn’t want to move, and tells joe so. he can hear a chuckle. he glances to see the older man tilting his head slightly to shift his upper body a little, presumably making himself more comfortable. joe has his eyes closed the entire time, lips drawn into a slight smile. it does feel like they're pressed even closer to each other now.

ben wonders if they’re drunk from that bottle of wine that they didn’t plan on ordering over their early dinner, but did and finished it anyway.

not drunk, says joe. just light-headed.

ben looks straight and up now, suddenly finding the ceiling interesting. shadows continue to elongate and like a paradox, orange light burns alongside them. just light-headed, he repeats under his breath.

joe hums an affirmative, half sounding like a deep, satisfied sigh.

can i ask you something? in this space riddled with shifting shadows and burning lights, his own voice sounds alien to his ears.

mmhmm.

we are very close, i mean, we are super close, and i don't want you to think that i’m weird or anything—

his lips are suddenly so dry he has to lick them before he continues,

but, i’m just wondering if you have ever thought about—ben stops and bites his lower lip. he blinks once, twice, as if he had just lost his thought, or his breath, or both. the words are stuck in his throat and he couldn't go on. he isn't so sure now if he wants to go on. he blinks rapidly, cursing himself internally.

say it.

he curses inaudibly under his breath.

if you don’t now—

shut up.

say it, go on. ask him.

hey, benny.

ben almost jumps out of his skin when he hears joe calling his name.

your internal dialogue is so loud.

shit, fuck it.

so, are we or aren't we?

ben looks sideways at joe. are we what?

going to kiss.

bloody hell. ben's mouth is dry suddenly. he licks his lips again.

yes, we are.

it is as if someone else is speaking on his behalf. really? we are? yes we are, don't pretend to be an idiot. that was all you could think about all day long, for weeks and months now. it's kinda pathetic. it's not. and now, maybe we're going to kiss. sure, because that's the natural progression of being friends. what the fuck would you have me do, then?

joe is right. his internal dialogue is raging. he closes his eyes, bracing himself—for what?

good, i thought i might die from this tension, says joe, but ben almost misses it amidst all the loud bickering inside his head. 

so then, when he opens his eyes all he sees is joe—hazel eyes, long, narrow nose, pale skin, thin lips—cast in shadows like a period painting, and moving in on him, and oh, soft lips. joe tastes a little like red wine, but mostly of cinnamon and vanilla, spicy and sweet, like the dessert that they shared after dinner and his cologne mixed with something else—and scruff and stubble. so this is what it's like, kissing joe, and for a split second ben thinks his mind might go into clouding panic, realising that he is earnestly kissing a man this sober, kissing like he really means it, which he does. but this is joe, and joe is not just another man. how did that come about anyway? him thinking that it's perfectly okay to kiss joe? well, haven’t you had this playing over and over again in your mind for some time now?

ben—joe breaks the kiss momentarily and ben wants to know if the haze he sees in joe's eyes mirror his own, if he is the cause of that, if joe is also suddenly missing his lips, and if joe wants nothing else but to close the gap between them again—less thinking, please.

without missing a beat joe gets back to busying himself with ben's lips again, sucking on his lower lip, and suddenly there is really nothing else to think about anymore. from there onwards he doesn't think—absolutely doesn't think of anything when he runs his fingers up joe's neck into his dark copper hair, thumb resting just behind his ear, and his other hand somehow finds its way under joe’s maroon topman sweater, used to be ben's by the way, now is joe's; the most natural progression of a sweater's lifespan.

yesterday, my sweater, tomorrow, my heart; anything you fucking want, really, just name it, joseph, you can probably have all of it.

ben is still not doing any of this thing called thinking when he decides sucking and nibbling on joe's upper lip is not enough, there needs to be tongue involved now. their kiss deepens, heartbeats quickens, and then—there is almost an audible protest when joe pulls away again.

it takes two seconds for ben to realize that they’re still so close to each other he could literally move two inches forward and closes the gap again, that he has one hand under joe’s sweater, and joe has one hand in his hair—those perfect, long, bassist fingers—joe’s hazel eyes looking right into his eyes, heavy-lidded, glazed over and bright, like someone who is drunk and yet so alert at the same time, if that is even possible.

joe mutters something under his breath. maybe a curse word. ben takes that as a cue anyway and jumps right back into the kiss unthinkingly, because that’s what we’re doing right now, we’re not thinking, we’re just feeling, moving, pushing, pulling, pressing, kissing like there will never be another one after this; maybe when the dusk settles and night takes over, someone has to get up and switches on the lights in the room and all the confusion and magic in the moving shadows and dancing lights will disappear, and they will be just friends again, sharing laughter and comfortable silences on a couch four feet away from each other, nothing less, they will brush knuckles occasionally, throw long glances and smile at each other, sparks dancing in their eyes. they will find the other easily in any crowd and walk away together bumping shoulders, they will sit across each other and joe will talk animatedly for any amount of time and ben will listen, smoking his marlboro lights and nodding at all the right moments, throwing occasional jokes and punchline and joe will laugh at every single one of them, not forced, not exaggerated, because they get each other. they always do. time will pass, days, weeks, months, years, they might be miles away across the ocean from each other, they might be sitting together, knee bumping, in the same room; they will always be best friends. more than best friends. soulmates. always.

but right now, hidden in shadows, they’re kissing breathlessly, mingled gasps, hands in hair, fingers on skin, as if it’s the only thing validating their existence in the darkness that is near total. but dusk is fleeting, it’s that five-step long pathway from the gates of daylight to the house of the night, so try as anyone might to cling to it, it passes.

and this one passes when joe's phone rings.

the screen display lights up first, somebody to love playing loudly in the quiet living room. the phone vibrates in rhythm, moving slightly to the right on the coffee table across from the sofa. like a chirpy commercial break in the middle of a silent movie, its loudness is jarring and intrusive; it broke the spell of quietness and silently gasping breaths. joe is lying on his back on the sofa and ben on top of him, hands and legs and traces of making out fully clothed over a long hour of dusk everywhere on their messy hair and damp skin. silence and darkness no longer blanketing them, joe now looks at the ceiling, while ben puts his forehead on joe’s chest, very much aware that joe still has one hand in his now-longer, wavy blonde hair, while his own are on either side of joe, supporting his hovering weight.

ben looks up, and sideways. joe’s hand falls to his side. your phone, he says, as if it’s not obvious enough that the rectangular, thin device is screaming to be picked up. they’re looking at each other now, and for the second time in a space less than two hours, ben feels panic creeping in because it’s dark and he cannot see joe’s eyes clearly, and there’s nothing for him to read and he’s feeling a little lost here.

joe lets out a deep breath, looks up and starts getting up to sit up on the sofa. ben has no choice but to move away and sit up too. the room is almost completely dark except for light spilling from the large two panel glass that made up the northwest corner of the living room. joe is sitting with one leg folded on the sofa, facing ben and still looking at him. ben could see his eyes now, but they’re unreadable. so he looks away.

joe made a slight sound, like he’s clearing his throat. well, i’m fucked.

ben runs his hand through his hair now, wonders if that was a joke. a bad one.

i like kissing you. a pause. i feel like i’m going to get into so much trouble now.

what? are you thirteen? never made out with a guy before?

maybe i feel like one. joe is smiling now, ben can hear it in his voice, but he doesn’t want to look. and yes, i have. have you?

you’re more like five. ben can hear chuckling from the man beside him. i have. not sober, though. was he being too honest?

if i go and switch on the lights right now i bet you’re blushing.

well, i’m not.

okay, captain sassypants, joe starts to stand up and god knows why he does what he does but ben lunges at the older man and tackles him so that he falls back down on the sofa with a surprised gasp.

they are tangled limbs and messy hair again, warm, breathy, lips inches away from each other.

if you want to make out again you could've just ask nicely, you know.

shut up, joe.

and they kiss.

tags: @ssasakiiwrites, @oniriquex

[butthatsnotwhereminelives]

god i desperately want a miss americana music video just imagine it

it opens with a panning shot of a kind of dark, dystopian, post-apocalyptic high school, maybe with an 80s vibe like stranger things but in the upside down, wind blowing, the whole school is just wrecked and grey

that synth comes in at the beginning and taylor enters in a ripped up prom dress, kind of like in the safe and sound video, hair down, minimal make up, gazing around, rubbing her arms, cold and alone as she takes in the destruction

‘you know i adore you, i’m crazier for you’ - the camera comes in close to her face as she says the words like she’s not quite sure that she believes them anymore

‘than i was at 16, lost in a film scene’ - the camera pans back out except it’s now the past, everything is over saturated, crowds of beautiful teenagers, smiling with all their teeth

‘waving homecoming queens, marching band playing’ - cheerleaders wave like pageant queens, the camera moves to the marching band and taylor is in the middle of it, dressed like in ybwm, playing along

‘i’m lost in the lights’ - camera pans out to take in the whole scene, lights are strung up everywhere and they get brighter until they blind the whole screen

‘America glory faded before me’ - as the lights fade, everything is even more saturated but it’s just red white and blue now, everyone is dressed to the nines for prom, talking excitedly, there are a lot more people in red than blue

‘now i’m feeling hopeless, ripped up my prom dress’ - taylor is alone on the edge of the prom, watching the smiling crowd, she shakes her head and turns to run outside, ripping off the top layer of her blue skirt, a sleeve comes off with it, she tosses it to the side

‘running through rose thorns, i saw the scoreboard and ran for my life’ - the part of her prom dress she chucked aside lands in a bed of thorns and they gladly swallow it up, she looks back to the prom, purses her lips and runs into the night

‘No cameras catch my pageant smile, I counted days, I counted miles to see you there, to see you there’ - the camera moves with taylor as her feet pound the grass, her breaths coming faster, and she reaches the football field stands where she curls up underneath them, hugging her knees

‘It's been a long time coming’ - taylor’s face is bathed in red from the football scoreboard

‘it’s you and me, that’s my whole world’ - the scene blows away like ashes and reforms as a school hallway

‘they whisper in the hallway she’s a bad bad girl’ - the camera moves between everyone whispering, grinning, the lockers have blue paint peeling off them to reveal red underneath

‘you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes‘ - the homecoming/prom banner is up in the hallway, a king’s crown has been graffitied on it in red

‘the whole school is rolling fake dice’ - taylor walks up to a noticeboard, and it shows the votes for homecoming king/queen, one has a tonne more votes than the other, but the latter is still circled as the winner in red

‘it's you and me, there's nothing like this’ - taylor turns to her locker, yes it’s 117 like in her diary, but it’s been painted red sloppily, theres drips on the floor she steps in the paint

‘Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince‘ - taylor tries to get the paint off her shoes but she’s leaving red footprints, the whispers start to look like they’re being directed at her

‘we’re so sad we paint the town blue, voted most likely to run away with you’ - the colours fade from the image, and it’s just taylor alone walking down this decimated, ashy remnant of the hallway

‘my team is losing, battered and bruising’ - the scene fades away again, to the home of a student we saw in the hallway, she is crying as she looks at an exam score before starting another one, its 3 in the morning

‘I see the high fives between the bad guys, leave with my head hung’ - move to a student getting yelled at by a teacher, the teacher shoves him, hard, but he only cries when he leaves the room so that the teacher doesn’t see

‘you are the only one who seems to care’ - taylor sits alone playing guitar on the football stands

‘American stories burning before me‘ - a mother hugs the boy we saw getting abused by the teacher before sending him into school in the morning

‘im feeling helpless, the damsels are depressed’ - taylor stands alone in the library looking around, students including the girl we saw before are slaving away at their desks

‘boys will be boys then, where are the wise men?’ -  jocks the hallway outside the library, one of them is the boy we saw, a friend claps him on the back and he flinches

‘darling i’m scared‘ - taylor watches the boy flinch

‘no cameras catch my muffled cries, I counted days, I counted miles to see you there’ - the scene fades, and it’s people getting ready for prom, taylor watches as someone hangs up the american flag

‘now the storm is coming‘ - the strung up lights blind the screen again

‘it’s you and me, that’s my whole world’ - its the prom from the beginning, red white and blue, the girl we saw before grins mechanically as she dances

‘they whisper in the hallway she’s a bad bad girl’ - the boy we saw shakes the hand of the teacher, in front of others, smiling like a robot

‘you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes‘ - taylor stands at the edge, watching this play out

‘the whole school is rolling fake dice, it's you and me, there's nothing like this’ - they announce the homecoming king/queen

‘Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince‘ - the american flag falls down

‘OKAY’ -  the scene fades, the room is empty and grey

‘we’re so sad we paint the town blue, voted most likely to run away with you’ - taylor walks over to the american flag still lying on the floor, it’s charred but it’s the only thing still colourful in the room, she hangs it up

‘and i don’t want you to GO’ - scene fades, they’re on the football pitch from the beginning

‘i don’t really wanna FIGHT’ - the cheerleaders smile like robots, the girl is on top of the pyramid

‘cause nobody’s gonna win’ - the boy is on the football team, he’s slammed into by the opposing team

‘i think you should come home’ - taylor is playing band, everyone is playing enthusiastically except for her

‘and i don’t want you to GO, i don’t really wanna FIGHT’ - taylor gets out of the band formation, and runs off the pitch

‘cause nobody’s gonna win, i think you should come home’ - she runs toward the school, it’s on fire 

‘and i don’t want you to GO, i don’t really wanna FIGHT’ - taylor watches in shock as it burns while everyone else is pretending it’s okay

‘cause nobody’s gonna WIN’ - the cheerleaders echo around taylor, the camera pans around so the glow of the pitch is in frame

‘just thought you should know’ - the camera moves away from taylor’s face, and inside the burning school

‘and i’ll never let you GO’ - the red paint on the lockers burns off

‘cause i know this is a FIGHT’ - the homecoming banner with the graffiti falls down

‘that someday we’re gonna WIN’ - the camera rushes backwards out of the hall during the pause in the music

‘it’s you and me, that’s my whole world’ - the school slowly burns, and the fires fade out

‘they whisper in the hallway she’s a bad bad girl, you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes’ - it’s the same shot from the beginning, this is the dystopian landscape, the chaos in the background of the pretence

‘the whole school is rolling fake dice, it's you and me, there's nothing like this’ - taylor walks through the hallway, look at the burnt locker paint and charred fallen banner

‘Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince‘ - the shot from before; taylor walks into the hall and over to the american flag still lying on the floor, it’s charred but it’s the only thing still colourful in the room, she hangs it up

‘OKAY’ -  the cheerleaders are still chanting, taylor looks up as if remembering the past

‘we’re so sad we paint the town blue, voted most likely to run away with you’ - she walks out of the school, toward the pitch again, nothing is lit

‘and i don’t want you to GO, i don’t really wanna FIGHT’ - nothing is lit, the pitch is empty, but the chants of the cheerleaders still echo around the pitch

‘cause nobody’s gonna WIN’ - taylor picks up a cheer pom pom from the floor

‘just thought you should know’ - the girl we saw comes running onto the pitch, she sees taylor and falters ‘and i’ll never let you GO’ - taylor offers her the pom pom, the girl smiles and nods before running back

‘cause i know this is a FIGHT’ - taylor gazes after the girl, looking sad

‘that someday we’re gonna WIN’ - taylor looks around the pitch, reflected in her eyes, the scoreboard flickers

‘it’s you and me, that’s my whole world’ - the scoreboard flickers between blue and red

‘they whisper in the hallway she’s a bad bad girl, she’s a bad bad girl,’ - taylor sits cross legged in the middle of the pitch, and watches the scoreboard expectantly, the final image is blue reflected in her eyes before the screen fades to black

[stormblessedcastiel]

The MCU Generation

So I’ve been thinking about Marvel a lot lately. Specifically Infinity War. And I have some Feelings™, so I just thought I’d share. This is probably going to be long and super inaccurate and cringe-y, I don’t mean to offend anyone, but I just wanted to get it out of my system. BTW there will be lots of spoilers.

Iron Man was released in 2008, and many people including me consider it the true beginning of the cultural phenomenon that is the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I was eight years old when it came out, man that makes me feel old. I didn’t really know much about/pay attention to/care about superheroes much at that point, but my dad liked those kinds of movies so I had watched things like the Tobey Maguire spider man movies and Christopher Nolan’s batman movies (the first two were out at that time). They didn’t really hold much interest for me at the time. Iron man rolled around and dad seemed excited about it, but it still just seemed like another comic movie that the family would maybe re-watch if it were on TV or something. No big deal, right? Well, time went on and I started to hear talk about a bigger story. Iron man 2 came out when I was 10, and introduced nick fury and Natasha Romanoff. Still, I paid little mind to the film besides casually enjoying it like any other decent action film. Then came Thor. One year later, we got the first taste of the universe outside of Tony Stark, and that universe was much larger than I had anticipated. Looking back, the first Thor movie was definitely not the best superhero film ever made, but it did a lot of things right. Most importantly, it set the stage for more heroes who quickly joined ranks. It’s at this point that I feel the MCU really started to gain traction, at least from what I was hearing. My eleven-year-old self was beginning to view this collection of movies as something with potential, something to get excited about. In that same year, Captain America: The First Avenger hit the big screen. This is where I became truly and totally hooked. I don’t know what did it, but something about the story, the characters, or the message seemed to grab my full attention. This was the movie that had me craving the next installment. It probably helped that at about twelve years old I was starting to enter the social media world, if only in small doses. I discovered Pinterest and quickly realized that other people around my age (maybe a few years older) were talking about these movies, interacting with each other, making jokes and edits and headcanons. If I wasn’t invested in the MCU characters before then, that changed rapidly. Seeing other people’s takes on what the heroes thought or did off camera, speculation about subtext relationships, comparisons and continuations of themes from the comics, all mushed together to bring me closer to this Story than I had ever been before. So I was ready for Avengers. The Big One. The superhero movie that did what no superhero movie had done before. It brought together a cast from multiple movies into one glorious world-saving group. By this point, everyone could see that this franchise would make an impact. It truly was an entire universe, and we had just touched on the surface of this super team potential. Fans were everywhere; people at school, on the street, in commercials had their favorite heroes’ logo somewhere on their clothing or bag. There had never been (or I maybe just never noticed) such a widely spread media infatuation. 

Then came phase two. Iron man 3, Thor dark world, captain America winter soldier, guardians of the galaxy, age of Ultron, and ant man. These came out between my 13 and 16th birthdays. In my opinion (back then and now), none of these movies were quite up to par with those of phase one, but nostalgia may have already been clouding my judgement, even after just a few years. However, they did give us more characters to love, and also let us enjoy learning more about our old faves. I think this phase was Marvel kind of trying to find their footing in this huge undertaking they just opened up, trying to figure out how to write their stories now that they had to feel like they were in such a large universe?? I don’t know, it just feels like Phase One took place in a box the size of a fridge, and Phase Two now had to try (or at least start) to fill out an entire swimming pool. I was still excited with every new movie announcement and was happy to watch them, but after age of Ultron I feel like I lost a bit of steam. So much that I didn’t see Antman at all when it came out. It just didn’t seem worth it.

Phase Three. Civil War. I think this movie is the turning point for the MCU, into a much darker and somber tone. Inner conflicts among the avengers that have literally been boiling for years come to a head, we see so many characters in the same place, see their stories starting to turn in different directions from each other and we, as fans, are starting to get torn apart. Team Iron Man, Team Cap, and social media is stronger than ever, and more prevalent in my life. We don’t even get a solution at the end of the movie. It ends with both sides hurt, betrayed, and with no clue where to go from here, just like us viewers. It’s fair to say that I was re-invested in this universe once more. Though it hurt, I think Marvel needed to introduce some real, lasting damage to its characters. I feel like this movie took itself more seriously as well. That was 2016. After that, we got Dr. Strange, GotG volume two, Spiderman homecoming, Thor: Ragnarok, and Black panther. While these movies were not perfect either, I think they got a lot closer to what marvel wanted to make their universe feel like. They know what they’re doing now, and we fans got some great new characters out of it, along with a fun new take on some old ones (I’m looking at you, Mr. Waititi). I do want to mention a couple little things about some of these. Spiderman was worrisome for me, because the character had had two separate franchises in the last decade or so. That’s a pretty quick turnover. Let it be known that my fears have been quelled, and Tom Holland is my true Spiderman. (Tobey will hold a special place in my heart though. Sorry Andrew, better luck next time). AND THEN. The sensation that was Black Panther. This was when I was really getting into social media; tumblr, youtube, deviantart, all that jazz. It is also when I started college, so imagine that absolute upheaval of perspective. This movie was so important for minorities, and it caused such a stir just as my life was turned 180 degrees on its head. I didn’t know what to think. But I loved it.

Everything was going good. Marvel was hitting its stride again, life was changing, and my mind was expanding and finding out things that I had never considered before. I was 18 years old.

Then it happened. The one everyone had been waiting for for several years. “The endgame.” 

Infinity War.

Let me tell you what it was like when I sat down in the theater that cold spring day. I had heard whispered rumors. About loss, about death. I brushed them off as speculation, trying not to latch onto any spoilers. I wanted to be totally oblivious as to what was about to happen, so I could experience it as mine and only mine the first time. I sat down in that dark theater with my parents, brother, snacks, tissues, and blanket. Mind you, the tissues were for allergies that had been acting up the past few days. I never cried at movies. Never. The trailers played, my family and I whispered to each other about needing to keep an eye out for this or that film when it came out. Then the lights dropped to almost nothing. We settled in for the long haul as the Marvel logo began to play. You know the one, where it shows clips of the past movies, coming together to form the name of the company? Except this one said “MARVEL STUD10S.” Did you get that? There was a number 10 in the name. I was confused for a minute or so, until it dawned on me that the Marvel Cinematic Universe had been making movies for ten. years. More than half my life. I was still in elementary school when the first Iron Man came out. And now here I was, a year into college, about to watch characters that I had grown up with and come to love, in the movie that people were saying destroyed their souls. At that moment, I knew I was in trouble. I was right. Straight off the bat, we lost my favorite villain who really just needs a hug, one who really was instrumental in bringing the Avengers together in the first place. Loki Odinson, in his own words. Right up till the end, he was a trickster, but he loved his family. He and Heimdall were the first hard losses, though seeing all of Asgard torn to shreds was a wake-up call that no one was prepared for the utter destruction that had been avoided until this film. No more clean Disney kid-friendly-ness anymore. Throughout the movie, we got to see reunions, long-awaited meetings, even more characterization and growth (geez marvel, how did you even fit that in? This is the endgame movie? How are you still teaching us new things about these people?) torture, fighting. The tension to the final battle was mounting, and at some point it became clear to me that the Avengers would not be together when this threat arrived. And as anyone who has ever seen a horror movie can tell you, splitting up only leads to death. Now, here’s where my memory gets a little fuzzy. Things were happening so fast, switching from group to group of heroes trying desperately to stave off the destruction of everything we’ve ever known. Things are going wrong all over the place, no one knows where anyone else is or what they’re doing, people we love are fighting each other because they’ve never met before now. What I do remember is when we get to the fight on Titan. Half of the Guardians, Tony, Peter, Strange. Tensions are running high. When Thanos arrives, I have no Idea what’s about to happen. They start fighting, and we finally get a demonstration of some of the more amazing feats the Infinity Gauntlet can pull off. The upper hand swings back and forth so many times, but finally the heroes get their plan to work, they’ve got Thanos on the ground, the Gauntlet is almost off. And Quill… ruins it. What else can he do? He just found out that his love is dead. So he messes everything up. Thanos gets free, pummels everyone into the ground, and then… gets the stone. Strange gives up the stone, even though he swore he would let a child die before he would ever give up such a dangerous object. What the hell Strange???? Was my immediate reaction. I knew it had to be more than just some newfound compassion for these people he met a day ago (was it actually a day?? Has all of this only happened in one short day?) Obviously the doctor has a plan, but this still seems like the worst possible idea. Now to earth. We get some truly awesome moments here; Bucky and cap’s reunion, Shuri showing off her mad science skillz, epic fight moves against hordes of zombie lizards, Thor’s entrance, his little banter with Steve, “I am Groot” “I am Steve Rogers,” Scarlet Witch dropping in at the last second with that massive power move. Everything seems like it’s going ok, and then suddenly, its not. Everything drops so suddenly into Not OK Town that I can still feel the whiplash. People are scrambling to get to each other, calling for backup, getting knocked down and thrown around, and then Thanos makes his entrance. He practically wipes the floor with our remaining heroes. The only thing standing between the universe and total ruin is Wanda. I’ve been preparing for a scene like this the whole movie, but it didn’t hurt any less to finally see it. Vision begs Wanda to destroy the stone, to destroy him, we all know that she has to give in. That’s what heroes do. So she says goodbye to the man she loves and uses her power on him. Now I don’t know about you, but I feel like I’ve seen this scenario play out before. I’m expecting someone to get there at the last minute and just fricken’ knock Thanos out cold, or maybe discover that Shuri had enough time to basically detach the stone from Vision, even if it didn’t look like it. But no. Wanda destroys the mind stone and Vision actually dies at her hands. Even after all the death that’s already happened in this movie, I was still surprised and devastated.

But they couldn’t just end it like that, could they? Marvel Studios needs to drink every last drop of pain from their fans. 

Thanos moves back the clock. He takes the stone. Vision’s sacrifice was in vain, Wanda had to watch her love die for nothing. Nothing that anyone did made a difference. Since Avengers came out in 2012, these characters have been fighting to keep this evil at bay, to protect the stones, even before they knew it. And now none of it matters. Because Thanos the Mad Titan has all the infinity stones. It’s all over in my mind, I wait for the quintessential Villain Laugh™, the gloating, and then whatever evil thing Thanos has planned. But wait! Thor to the rescue with his brand-new hammer-axe! My heart leaps as he skewers the big purple raisin. He gets his revenge for Loki, for Heimdall, for all of Asgard, for us. Except. except. “You should have gone for the head.”

Wait,

snap. .

.

. My body is rigid and I can only stare unblinking in confusion at the screen. What’s going on? What did you do? WHAT DID YOU DO? Thanos disappears. Everything is quiet. “Where did he go?” Steve asks in confusion, mirroring all of our thoughts exactly.

“Steve?”

We see Bucky walking towards us, and then he just…. Dissolves. Into dust. what’s going on what was that My mind is sluggish. I don’t understand.

Wakandan warriors disappear in the wake of the battle. T’challa tries to help Okoye up but then he’s gone. Groot. Wanda. Sam. Mantis, Drax, Quill, Strange.

And oh god. 

“Mr. Stark? I don’t feel so good.”  Oh god no.  “I don’t know what’s happening, I don’t want to go, I don’t want to go, sir, please, I don’t want to go… I’m sorry.”

Gone.

Through this whole thing, it is silent. No music. Just emptiness, confusion, fear.

And that’s where we’re left. The audience is motionless. I do not cry at movies, but my throat is tight like a noose and my sleeves are soaked from wiping away tears.

Like all good Marvel fans, we remain still in our seats. I try to comprehend what just happened to me as the white credits scroll over a void and dramatic music accompanies them. We wait for our first end-credit scene. Instead, what we get is a fading of the music. Avengers: Infinity War shows from the center of the black screen, and a familiar melody plays. A few slow, simple notes on a piano. The triumphant theme of our heroes, earth’s mightiest protectors. It sounds lonely now. The last note plays, and the title dusts. And I almost scream.

If you’ve read this far, wow! Thank you for reading my absolute monstrosity of a garbage post! It’s been a few months now since Infinity War, and I’ve had time to think. What I figured out was this; when I’m older-old enough to be a parent myself-and looking back on my childhood, these are going to be the movies I remember like my dad remembers Star Wars. I was so lucky to be just the right age when this all started to enjoy every single one, and to remember experiencing them all for the first time. I was just the right age to forge a bond with the characters and their world. I think it was a special kind of bond that only occurs when you’re young but not too young, one that weaves webs of innocence and nostalgia through your most transformative years, and grows with you as you become a new person, and stays with you like a friend even as you see things so differently than when you first started out. What I’m trying to say is that I feel like I grew from child to adult just as the MCU did. We grew together. I don’t know if anyone my age feels the same, but these movies feel like the first big mainstream thing that really belongs to my generation. Like they came at the perfect time to shape me. It feels like they were made for me.

[bnha-anywhere-but-there]

Anywhere but There- Chapter 8: More Morning Talks

Todoroki went to bed at ten as agreed. He didn't go to sleep, opting for texting Yaoyorozu until midnight and then switching to Midoriya after that. Todoroki was one of the few people that actually knew about Midoriya's lack of sleep. He had trouble staying still as a result of Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS for short) and every time he tried falling asleep thoughts would invade his mind endlessly.

It was 2am when Yamada woke up to get a drink. Passing the boy's room, he saw a faint glow coming from underneath the door. He didn't pay much mind to it at first and instead went to get his drink. Aizawa was at the dining table, going through some paperwork. Getting his water, he sat in front of the other man with half open eyes; signing to the other carelessly. Yamada's quirk was loud and lead to him being deaf in both ears by the time he was in his second year of high school. At night, the hearing aids were taken out- hence the signing.

"What?" Aizawa whispered. Yamada was very tired and his movements were sloppy and sluggish. He signed back ‘I couldn't see properly. Again'. Yamada repeated the motions. Aizawa nodded this time, getting most of the message. Grunting as he stood, he made his way to the youngest's room. He knocked softly before opening the door. The room was dark, but Aizawa had seen the light from under the door. He found the boy's phone by his pillow and picked it up. It was warm, "Todoroki, I know you're awake." he whispered. The phone buzzed as the screen lit up. Aizawa made a note to speak with Midoriya later in the day. The boy stayed stock still, afraid to breath even slightly off in fear of the man noticing. Aizawa sighed, making a note to talk to Todoroki as well, "Night, kid." he murmured, closing the door behind him. He turned the phone off and went back to the kitchen, deciding to call it a night.

The next morning Todoroki was up a few minutes before either Aizawa or Yamada, in search of his phone. He concluded it must've been in the pairs bedroom after briefly searching everywhere else. Opening the door as quietly as possible, he peeked his head inside. Aizawa was curled up into Yamada's side peacefully as the other laid on his back in a similar state. Todoroki spotted his phone on the bedside table next to Aizawa and tipped toed over to get it. As he picked it up, the alarm next to Yamada went off, except it wasn't Yamada who woke up. Aizawa groaned and clambered over his spouse to turn off the awful device; causing the blond to groan at the sudden weight on his chest. Todoroki stood like a deer caught in the headlights as Aizawa opened his eyes. He yawned and rubbed the dust out of the corner of his eyes before taking in the situation.

"Why are you up so early? Ugh." he decided to complain instead.

"Do you want some coffee?" Todoroki asked. Aizawa hummed out a 'yes', allowing Todoroki to take his leave. Turning his phone back on, an abundance of messages welcomed him, "stupid Aizawa." he grumbled. He'd left Midoriya alone and felt guilty. Huffing, he called the boy. After five rings, the other line was picked up.

"...hello?" Midoriya answered, slightly out of breath.

"Hey, sorry I suddenly stopped replying last night. Aizawa took my phone off me and I only just got it back. Are you ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine. I didn't sleep all that well but that's not exactly new." Midoriya joked. Todoroki felt worry build in his chest. They'd only stopped talking at two and, by the sounds of it, Midoriya had gone out for his morning run; meaning he probably got three and a half hours of sleep at best.

"When did you go to sleep?" the other asked, already anticipating the answer that would make him cringe.

"Maybe around three?" came the dreaded answer. Todoroki nearly growled but stopped himself to ask his next question.

"And what time did you wake up?" he asked.

“Around half five." the other replied nonchalantly. Now Todoroki decided to snarl down the receiver.

"Izuku! You know how bad that is. Please don't tell me you drank coffee this morning." drinking coffee only made his RLS worse for reasons unknown even to the doctors. It just did and Izuku wasn't supposed to drink it.

"...too late." Todoroki groaned.

"If you fall asleep in lessons, you're gonna get chewed out. I think Aizawa knows you were awake." Izuku let out a whiny tone on the other end.

"Come on Shouto. I never fall asleep. I'll be fine as long as I have another coffee before class starts. Look, I gotta go and shower. Talk at school, ok?" Shouto sighed, deciding to lecture the boy on his coffee intake at school.

"Ok. Bye." he hung up and turned around, startled by Aizawa leaning against the doorframe behind him. A scowl had found its home on the mans face, having heard the whole conversation.

"I think you should be less worried about Midoriya and more worried about yourself." Aizawa warned. Yamada appeared behind Aizawa with a small smile.

"Let's sit down and you can explain yourself, yeah?" he said. Todoroki nodded and pocketed his phone, going to sit at the table. Yamada sat next to him whilst Aizawa sat opposite.

"I thought we agreed ten o'clock, not two." Aizawa started. Todoroki nodded.

"We did, sorry." Todoroki said curtly, leaving a space that the men were eager to fill.

"...but?" Yamada encouraged.

"But Izuku didn't agree ten." he mumbled, twiddling his fingers.

"Why is Midoriya apart of this?" Aizawa asked, taking on his homeroom teacher role.

" 'Cause he has trouble sleeping," another short silence came. The pair were just processing the information but Todoroki took it as a cue to continue talking, " 'cause he has anxiety- and Restless Leg Syndrome." the pair filled in the rest.

"I'll speak with him," Aizawa said, frowning a little, "I thought you offered me coffee." he said. Todoroki's eyebrows rose.

"No I didn't. You must've been dreaming." he lied. Yamada stood, running his fingers through Aizawa's hair.

"I'll make you coffee." he bent and kissed the other on his temple. Aizawa hummed, leaning into the touch.

"Thanks." he murmured.

"Izuku's not allowed coffee," Todoroki said. Aizawa cocked an eyebrow, "it makes his RLS worse. So- if you see him with coffee- don't let him drink it." the other warned. Aizawa nodded.

"I will. Thanks for telling me. I'm gonna make toast. Do you want some?" he said, starting to stand. Todoroki nodded.

"Yes please- with chocolate spread?" he asked hopefully. Aizawa sighed.

"With either jam or honey. You know chocolate spread's bad for you." he said. The younger puffed his cheeks out in a pout, but Aizawa held his stare.

"Fine. I'll have jam, please." Aizawa nodded and started on the toast. Twenty minutes later and they had eaten and were lying on the sofa. They wouldn't have to leave until 08:10, so they had plenty of time. Well, had. Todoroki ended up falling back to sleep next to Aizawa who had done the same five minutes earlier. Yamada came out of the bathroom, ready to go at eight. He sighed and approached them, nudging both males.

"Wake up. We need to leave in ten minutes or we're gonna be late." the pair groaned, Todoroki snuggling closer into Aizawa's side.

"Aizawa's always late." He mumbled.

"If you're not up in the next minute, I'm gonna get my bucket of water." Yamada warned.

"He's not joking, Todoroki." Aizawa said, trying to wake himself up.

They arrived at school with half a minute to spare; Todoroki being the last one in the classroom. As he sat down, Yaoyorozu leaned over, her eyebrows were knitted together tightly.

"Why's your hair wet?"