#maybe its cause its dark everywhere else except for my screen

[bobapplesimblr]

Things I plan to do tomorrow:

1. make a build/decorate with the van shell from werewolves

2. make a container home build

3. Write yet another challenge (mostly for myself) or find a challenge that fits what I want to do

See yall tomorrow!!

[marshmallow-phd]

Catching Rain

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Wolf!AU

Pairing: Minseok x Reader

Summary: You were more than satisfied with your life. You attended a nice college, had nice friends, a nice boyfriend. That’s what your life was: nice. You weren’t looking for anything more, so what were you to do when this seemingly harmless boy walked into your life and turned your nice little world into one much more dangerous?

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I Epilogue

**

On closer inspection, the house in the middle of the field was quite pretty. Simple, white, well kept. A secondary building with metal walls sat adjacent to the house – a garage, perhaps. Waiting on the porch was the man from earlier. Baekhyun. Now you remembered his name. He was joined by a few others – Chanyeol, Sehun, and one you didn’t know – who stared at you in curious wonder. Their eyes were wide and investigative, as if you were the supernatural creature and not Minseok.

“Looks like the cat’s out of the bag,” Baekhyun said with a snicker.

“Or pup, in this case,” said the one you didn’t know. Black hair that fell over his forehead and an upturn sat in both corners of his lips, though he wasn’t smiling.

Minseok merely shook his head as he pushed past them into the house. The screen door shut with a loud slam. You flinched at the noise. Chanyeol sighed as he glanced at you. “Would you like something to drink?”

“Yes, please,” you nodded. He motioned for you to follow him inside.

Through a short front parlor and a cozy living room, he led you into the kitchen where you stood awkwardly. The only noise came from the water flowing from the refrigerator spicket. The ice clinked as it moved around the glass. Your eyes wandered across the large, open space. Sunlight poured in from the windows in the two outer walls. It gave the whole room a yellow hue despite the white and light gray coloring of the cabinets and backsplash. Whoever had last designed this room had done so in a way to make it feel bigger and open, welcoming even. You wondered if there must have been a woman living here to give the finer touches. Minseok hadn’t mentioned anyone beyond his male roommates. The thought of a woman living amongst them made you slightly jealous, but you shoved it aside when Chanyeol held out the glass for you.

“Thank you,” you murmured before taking a sip.

He nodded shyly. His foot tapped lightly against the hard wood floor with his hands shoved into his pockets. He looked everywhere except for at you. Feeling eyes on you anyway, you glanced over your shoulder just in time to see several crops of hair disappear from the hallway entrance.

You scoffed. “You guys act like you’ve never seen a female before.”

“Not one like you.”

Minseok stepped into the room wearing a t-shirt with frayed edges where the sleeves had been cut off and a pair of basketball shorts. As angry as you were with him, the distrust still very much apparent, you were fighting the urge to run to him. What was this stupid, conflicting feeling? Making eye contact with Minseok, Chanyeol ducked his head and hurriedly left the kitchen.

“So,” you crossed your arms after putting down the glass and leaned against the counter, “is this the part where you explain to me what the hell is going on?”

“I will, but not here.”

“No, you don’t get to do that!” you snapped. “You didn’t want to tell me in the forest, so we came back here and now you don’t want to tell me here?”

Minseok shrunk back. “I just meant down here. Can we go upstairs? Away from where the others can hear?”

That suggestion could be accepted. Actually, you felt a little bad for exploding, but could you really be blamed? Given the information dump you were steadily receiving today? “Oh. Okay. Lead the way.”

Minseok’s hand twitched at his side, but he kept it in check as he turned and headed back up the stairs. The top spilled out into a hallway lined with doors. This space wasn’t as bright as the kitchen. Different shades of dark brown covered the wooden floor and plaster walls. No windows gave view to the outside making you feel trapped. “This one’s mine,” Minseok said. He held on to a handle of one of the middle doors and waited for you to come closer before pushing it open. When you saw what lied beyond the door, you nearly smiled.

On the walls were posters of famous soccer players and indie movies you’d never heard of. The bed was made with military precision, not a creased comforter or half-strewn pillow in sight. Against the far wall under a singular window was a desk. The notebooks were stacked in the top right corner, the edges so straight a ruler wouldn’t be able to find fault. Pens and pencils occupied a small cup to keep the rest of the desk clear.

“Not what you expected?” Minseok asked as he closed the door.

“Yes and no.” You stole a glance at him over your shoulder. “It’s very… neat.”

Minseok smiled shyly. He shuffled over to the bed and sat down. If he expected you to take the spot next to him, he was wrong. Instead, you chose the chair. A precaution for yourself.

Neither of you knew where to start. Who was supposed to talk first? What part should even be considered the beginning? Unable to continue in this awkward silence, you jumped in feet first.

“You can really… turn into a wolf?” The words felt like glue in your throat. Creatures like that belonged in fairytales and fantasy films, not a college campus.

“Yeah,” Minseok said. “We all can. All nine of us.”

“All nine.” Oh, great. A whole pack of them. “Even the one’s I met?” Stupid question. He’d already answered that, technically. But Minseok simply nodded instead of calling out the redundancy. “So, were you all bitten or-” You felt ridiculous basing the current situation on myth and legend, but what else did you have to go on?

“We’re all born this way. You can’t be like us from a bite or a scratch. It has to be in your DNA.” He snuck a peek before beating you to the next question. “The moon doesn’t really influence us either. I mean, its easier to see by at night in the forest, but it doesn’t force us to change. We can do that whenever we want. Witches have more of a connection with the giant rock in the sky.”

“Witches! They’re real, too? What else is real? Vampires? Dragons? Goblins?” What kind of world had you stumbled into?

Minseok flinched. “Maybe we should stick to one subject at a time.”

“Right.” That was probably best for your sanity. “So, if you have to be born like,” you gestured to him, “… this, does that mean both of your parents were, too?”

“Just my dad,” Minseok said. “Females wolves are extremely rare.”

“Well, that’s sexist.”

“Hey, we didn’t make up the rules. It’s genetics.” He scratched the back of his neck, twitching his lips from side to side. “I guess I should say that silver doesn’t bother us either.”

Why did you feel relieved at that random fact? It didn’t matter, as that wasn’t the most pressing issue to you. “Earlier you mentioned that it wasn’t you killing the campers-”

“It wasn’t any of us!”

“I believe you.” The words tumbled off your lips. And you realized that it was true. You couldn’t twist the nervous, sweet guy in front of you into a mindless killer. The way he was explaining everything slowly, cautiously, giving you time to understand. He wasn’t hiding anything from you. Not anymore. “I’m just confused when you said it was an omega?”

“Its just a ranking system within a pack,” he explained. “Alpha, beta, MR, omega. Junmyeon’s the alpha of our pack, he’s in charge. Yixing and I are betas, second in command. We help enforce Junmyeon’s word and keep an eye on the younger wolves who like to cause mischief.” He chuckled, as if remembering times when said mischief occurred. “The rest are all MR – Mid-ranking. They all have their own duties should they be needed. Well, except for Jongin and Sehun. They’re the youngest wolves so they get special treatment most of the time. Its okay, though. They kind of make you want to take care of them, the way they are.”

You nodded filing all the information away for later recall. “And the omega?”

“A wolf without a pack. Nine times out of ten they were kicked out for defying the alpha, for putting their own interests ahead of the pack. Without that structure, a lot of them turn feral.”

“Nine times out of ten?”

“It’s extremely rare, but sometimes a wolf will choose to never join a pack in the first place. It’s nearly unheard of though. We’re too social of creatures. Nine-point-five out of ten would probably be a better number.”

You couldn’t help the laugh that came out. Of course he would bring up math in a time like this. Minseok laughed along with you. Eventually, though, it died out, along with the smile that had been growing on his lips. “There’s something else I need to tell you.”

Picking up on his mood, you tilted your head to the side. “I don’t think anything else could take me by surprise at this point.” Minseok stared at you pointedly. Your stomach began to sink. What other little secret could he possibly be harboring at this point? You didn’t think anything could be as shocking as his shapeshifting abilities.

“Have you ever heard the expression ‘wolves mate for life’?” he asked cryptically.

“Yeah?”

“Well-” he shifted, crinkling the perfect comforter in the process. “We don’t know why it happens. Junmyeon thinks its nature’s way of compensating our ‘otherness’ while Jongdae just thinks it’s another level of torture.” An uncomfortable laugh. “But, um, every wolf has their own mate. Just one, that they stick with for the rest of their lives.”

Unable to keep looking at him, you leaned forward, resting your elbows on your knees. “So, are you saying that you all get to pick whoever you want as your mate and that’s it? You claim them because of what you are?”

“No!” Minseok jumped to his feet. Swallowing visibly, he cleared his throat, but remained standing. “No, we don’t get to pick. It happens out of nowhere. Our mates are chosen for us before either is born. And we can meet them under any circumstances. Some favorable, some… not so much.”

You looked up at him “What are you trying to say, Minseok?”

He walked up to you, each step hesitant, each step full of fear. Crouching down, he sighed as he looked into your eyes. “What I’m trying to say, (y/n), is that… you’re my mate.”

At first, you only blinked. The words had to be soaked in one at a time before you could piece them together and understand the sentence as a whole. “I- what? How do you even know?”

Reaching out, Minseok took ahold of your hand. You didn’t fight it. The electricity was practically singing between your skins. “Really, all it takes is one look. A few seconds of eye contact and the pull takes hold. But this feeling we both get when we touch, its confirmation. And then there’s this.”

He pulled your hand closer, pressing your palm against his chest. The heat transferring through the thin fabric was enough to make you sweat, but that wasn’t the point of this exercise. It was the rate of which his heart was beating. As he stared at you with awe, his heart sprinted as if it were in second place of a race and needed to pass just one more runner to win.

“Every time I see you, this happens,” Minseok whispered. “It doesn’t matter how good my day has been, its always better when I’m with you.”

“We haven’t even known each other that long.”

“It doesn’t take long, apparently.”

You frowned, confused. “Apparently?”

A small smile pulled up one corner of his mouth. “I’m the first one in the pack to find my mate. The first one to experience this.”

The first…. You wanted to laugh at the romantic angle your brain was seeing this.

A knock came from the door. Minseok stood up, reluctantly dropping your hand before answering the intrusion. “Yeah?”

Several roommates were standing in the hall, all peering around Minseok to get a better look at you.

“Kyungsoo said it was time for dinner,” one of them said. “And that he could hear your mate’s empty stomach from downstairs.”

“And it took all of you to come tell us?” Minseok questioned as he folded his arms. He shifted to block more of the doorway, shielding you from their stares.

“It was an important job,” another one said.

Minseok looked back at you before sighing. “Tell Kyungsoo that I’ll be down in a second.”

“But-”

The door was shut before the argument could be finished. The rush of footsteps faded in the background until it was only the two of you once again.

“Are you hungry?” Minseok asked. You nodded sheepishly. “You don’t have to go downstairs. You can stay here and I’ll bring it up to. Kyungsoo’s a good cook so whatever he made will be delicious.”

“Actually, I’ll go down with you,” you said, to the surprise of both of you. Everything Minseok had told you was still sinking in. There was too much to process and completely comprehend, but the pieces were fitting together. And you were curious about life here. If you really were meant to be his mate, maybe you should know where that road led. It was the right at the fork. You’d uncovered a sign that gave you a clue to where it was headed. You wanted to follow it.

Minseok waited patiently as you stood up and walked towards him. He let you out the door first. There was a moment where your fingers brushed as you passed. You could feel the muscles in his hand tighten. He wanted to take your hand again – and you almost let him. But you held back. There was still something stopping you. Or, rather, a who.

The noise hit you halfway down the stairs. Being told that nine people lived together and truly witnessing it were two very different concepts. There was no order that you could see. Most of the boys sat around the table, conducting multiple conversations at once that overlapped that you had to wonder how they could understand each other. A few sat in a small booth off to the side in a world of their own. It was the kind of breakfast nook you’d only seen before in home magazines. Two boys stood at the counters, their backs to the chaos behind them.

One of them – sporting a very well put together look and black rimmed glasses – turned and smiled at you and Minseok. “There you are. Glad to see you came down.” He held his hand out to you. “I’m Junmyeon.”

“The alpha,” you said as you shook his hand.

“I see Minseok told you most of it,” Junmeyon said.

“Pretty much everything,” Minseok corrected.

You felt your face contort as you tried to pinpoint where you’d seen this man before. “Wait. Aren’t you a professor?”

Junmyeon laughed. “Yeah, I am. In the literature department. Folklore, to be exactly. But I’d prefer if we kept this between us.” He sent you a wink to show he was teasing. Behind you, Misneok growled, making you jump. “I’m just playing, Minseok.”

“And I’m sure he’ll be playing when he rips your head off,” the other stove-top occupant stated. He held out a plate for you piled high with food. There was no way you would be able to eat all of that. “I’m Kyungsoo, by the way.”

“(y/n),” you greeted back. “It’s nice to meet you.” Taking the plate, you tried to hand it off to Minseok.

“No, that’s yours.”

Not wanting to be rude, you said between gritted teeth, “I can’t eat all of this.”

Minseok pinched his face as if debating on something. “Fine. We’ll share.”

“Are you sure about that?” Junmyeon asked. “There won’t be any left over for seconds. You know that.”

“It’ll be fine.”

Shaking his head, Kyungsoo held on to one side of the plate and added another scoop of rice and meat each. “Just in case.”

After thanking him, Minseok guided you over to the table with a hand hovering over your lower back. Even without the contact, you could feel the heat coming from his palm. Or maybe it was just your imagination filling in. Minseok pulled out a chair for you on the empty end before sitting next you. It was obvious he’d purposefully placed you away from the others.

“Possessive much?” Baekhyun snorted as he dug into a plate of his own.

“I’m sure it’s just instinct.” The comment came from one of the more slender boys – Boys? Wolves? You weren’t sure how to address them properly. Maybe later. Your brain needed a break. The one who had spoken had a very pointed face, but in a way that was still handsome. You weren’t sure if you’d seen him before or not.

“That’s Yixing,” Minseok said. “And the last one to meet, I guess, is Jongdae.”

Jongdae turned out to be the curled-lip one who still wasn’t smiling. In fact, he was the only one not in some level of a cheerful mood as he sat in the breakfast booth. He barely looked at you while everyone else was. Some were even blatantly staring at you as they shoveled in food to their mouths.

“You should eat.” Minseok picked up a fork and stabbed a slice of marinade-covered meat, holding it out for you to eat like a child.

“I can do that myself, thanks.” You took the fork and chewed slowly on the meat. It was good. More than good, really, so you took another bite and another. Soon, you were full, though there was more than half a plate left. You scooted the plate over to Minseok. “Okay, your turn.”

“You’re done? Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m stuffed.”

Minseok didn’t reach for the other fork he’d grabbed, as if giving you a chance to change your mind. When you made no such move, he dug in. You smiled at the way he ate, enjoying every bite with satisfaction. At the sight of every plate being empty, Baekhyun stood up. “I’m going to watch a movie,” he announced.

“Oh, that sounds like a good idea!” Jongin said.

Yixing asked, “Which one?”

Baekhyun shrugged. “I don’t know. Whatever’s new. (Y/n), want to join us?”

Minseok cut in. “I don’t know if that-”

“I’d love to!” You turned to Minseok and gave him a cheeky smile. It felt a bit defiant. Perhaps he wanted to explain more to you or spend time with you alone in general, but you wanted to know how this group operated together. You wanted insight to their normalcy. Getting to your feet, you picked up the plate, but Junmyeon reached over and took it from you.

“Don’t worry about this. We’ll clean up.”

“But-”

The alpha wouldn’t have it. “You’re the guest. Shoo.”

More than happy with that argument (dishes weren’t your thing by a long shot), you followed the cluster of excited men to the living room. They crashed on nearly every surface – the couch, the chairs, the floor, anywhere they could fit. Minseok approached Jongin and Sehun who had taken a corner of the long couch.

“Move,” he ordered.

“But we were here first!” Sehun whined. Jongin look over to you and then got up without a word, sitting down on the floor with his back against the coffee table.

“Sehun….”

“You’re really going to kick the youngest off the comfortable seat?”

You tried to break up the awkward exchange. Well, it was awkward for you since you were the reason for the discussion. “It’s fine, really. I can sit on the floor.”

“You’re not sitting on the floor,” Minseok told you. To Sehun, he said, “I’m the eldest and she’s a guest. Please move.”

For a second nothing happened. Then Sehun huffed. “Fine.” He got up and joined Jongin on the floor. He lied down on his stomach and pulled out his phone, over it already. You felt bad but saw no point in arguing. Minseok let you sit first and then, once again, sat between you and Chanyeol, who happily occupied the other side of the couch.

Baekhyun flipped through a streaming service until he landed on a superhero movie. Everyone cheered at the choice, then quieted down as he pressed play. Someone turned out the lights so only the glow of the television remained.

Sitting shoulder to shoulder and leg to leg, you were hyper aware of Minseok. Arms crossed over your stomach and fists clenched, you told yourself repeatedly not to reach for his hand or lean on his shoulder no matter how heavy your eyelids were getting. Erik may have hit pause on your relationship, but there wasn’t much of a discussion of lines. You didn’t know the rules of that scenario and what was and wasn’t allowed. But as your tiredness grew, your willpower weakened. After a few bobs, your head landed softly on Minseok’s shoulder. It was too comfortable to move. It felt too nice, too right. Like his shoulder was the one you were always supposed to lean on. And that was when Minseok made a move of his own.

Holding your head up, he adjusted his arm so it was now draped over your shoulders. Your head rested against his chest when he laid you back down. Something vibrated against your cheek. Was that… purring? No, it had to be the booming from the movie. Right?

It didn’t take long for you drift into sleep. The movie was one you’d seen before so you couldn’t use that as an excuse to stay awake. You weren’t sure how long it had been. A slight bopping motion roused you. In the shallowness of your conscious you made out that you were being carried. Carried up stairs… and into a bedroom. While still holding you, that person managed to pull back the covers and tuck you into bed. As the arm slipped away you grabbed hold of the wrist. Through the slightest slits in your eyes you could make out Minseok’s silhouette.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he whispered. “Go back to sleep. I’ll take the couch downstairs.”

“No. Stay.”

He froze at your request. “Are you sure?”

“Please.”

Even in the darkness, you could see him smiling. “Okay.” Shutting the door, he peeled back the covers once more and slid in beside you. Happy wasn’t even close to how you felt when he pulled you in close to his chest. You drifted back to sleep with a smile on your face.

[mylovehes]

Bad Call

Masterlist

Summary: Reader doesn’t wait for backup and gets kidnapped and tortured.

A/N: REQUESTS ARE OPEN!! Any feedback is also appreciated!

Pairing: Spencer x Reader, mentions of the team

Angst with a little fluff (warning mentions of torture and abuse)

I knew it was a bad call. I knew I should have called and waited for backup before chasing the unsub into a big abandoned building. However, everyone makes bad judgment calls eventually in this job. I couldn’t let this guy get away and kill more women just because I was waiting for help. I thought I could take him on my own. I mean I had my gun with me. Unfortunately the universe wasn’t on my side and moments after creeping into the abandoned warehouse after the killer I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head as I hit the ground, gun sliding across the floor as my vision went black.

I woke up in a log cabin house with hands and feet chained to the floor allowing little access to move. I tried pulling on the chains with no luck. Soon after waking up I heard heavy foot steps coming down the stairs to my left. 

“Look who’s awake,” the unsub named Larry Peterson said smirking down at me. He is currently wanted for the murder of 15 women and as fate would have it I fit his victimology to a T. I glared up at the man from where I was sitting on the floor. “I think it’s time to get the party started. What do you think? I hope your friends like movies.” He grabbed a hold of the chains attached to my wrists. As he pulled I noticed they were attached to a pulley that hoisted my body off the ground to where my feet were barely touching the ground now.

“What are you talking about,” I said struggling against the cuffs that were now digging into my skin. He placed a laptop and video camera up directly in front of me. I noticed the red light turn on realizing he was sending a live feed to the BAU. At least this way Garcia can try to trace it back to my location and everyone will know for sure what happened to me. However, I didn’t want them to have to witness what was about to happen, especially not Spencer. He’s been through so much, he doesn’t need to possibly witness another girlfriend being murdered at the hands of an unsub. 

“Say hello to the BAU Y/N,” he said said grabbing my face and aiming it at the camera so they could clearly tell it was me. “Now normally I don’t like an audience,�� Larry said while picking up a sharp knife, “but I think the an FBI agent warrants an exception.” He slid the knife across my skin as I groaned in pain trying not to give him what he wanted which were my screams.

-

Meanwhile at the BAU everyone was frantically trying to figure out where Peterson would have possibly taken Y/N. Garcia was unable to locate where the feed was coming from and everyone else was at a complete loss. The furthest they got was narrowing down that she was in a cabin isolated in the forest. Unfortunately for the team there were hundreds of cabins in the woods and it would be impossible to try every single one.

Spencer was slowly losing his mind mad at himself for not going with her to check out the abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town. He was the first to notice his girlfriend was missing, everyone quickly rushing to her last known whereabouts and finding nothing but blood and a note from the unsub saying he had Y/N in his possession.

No matter how hard everyone tried they could not get Spencer away from the computer screen that displayed Y/N being beaten and tortured. Spencer felt sick listening to her screams of agony but he couldn't bring himself to walk away in fear he'd miss even the smallest clue. If she had given him a clue so far, he had not caught it. 

-

My whole body was on fire. I had been cut, hit, and tased repeatedly for what felt like hours upon hours which in reality was only one hour since he began the torture. I didn’t have the strength to fight back and there was no way I was getting out of these chains without help so I figured the only thing I could do that might help my team catch Peterson was to get him talking.

“Wow mommy really did a number on you huh?” I said spitting blood out of my mouth towards him. 

“What did you just say to me?” He said stepping closer to me threatening me with his glare. 

“What are you deaf? I said, your mommy really did a number on you didn't she? I mean you obviously enjoy hurting women for a reason,” I said hoping to strike some kind of nerve and get him to slip up. 

“Shut the hell up!” He screamed stepping away from me.

“Oh struck a nerve have I? Let me guess. She used to abuse you didn't she, physically and mentally 24/7? I bet you felt real powerless.”

“I said shut the hell up bitch!” He yelled again slamming his fist on the table and grabbing the pitcher on the edge of the table. 

“Are you the one who killed her? This is her place from her mother right? I bet that's how you got this nice cabin because a deadbeat like you obviously wouldn’t have the financials to cover a place this nice and big,” I emphasized hoping maybe the size of the cabin could help narrow down their search somewhat. 

“Maybe this will teach up to keep your mouth shut,” he said roughly grabbing my chin and pouring the contents of the pitcher down my mouth and nose basically water boarding me. The liquid in the pitcher was salt water and it made my whole body hiss in pain from the various cuts scattered everywhere causing me to scream in agony. I begin laughing in a hazy way, about to faint from the pain my body is experiencing. Hopefully the team could track down who the cabin actually belonged too. Before I could think about it too long I glanced at the camera one last time before passing out again.

-

Spencer gasped as he realized what Y/N was hinting at and flew to Garcia’s lair. “Garcia I need you to look up Larry Peterson’s grandmother and find out if she owned any property. I think that might be where he is keeping her.” Garcia quickly typed in the information finding an address that was in the middle of the woods.

“That looks like a nice big cabin in the middle of woods just like what we’re looking for doesn’t it,” Garcia said smiling hopefully at Reid.

“Yes, send us all the address. She has to be there,” Spencer said running out to tell the rest of the team. 

Everyone quickly headed to the address Garcia sent them hopping out of the SUVs and putting on their vests. Spencer and JJ took the back with Hotch and Emily taking the front. Morgan and Rossi entered through the side door. 

-

I awoke to the painful shocking of the taser and a hand over my mouth. As I came to I could hear the sounds of foot steps above me. I tried to scream to let the team know I was downstairs through the trapdoor that Peterson had revealed to me was there but securely hidden. 

“They’ll never find you down here so stop screaming,” He said whispering into my ear. Tears began to pour down my face knowing my team was so close but not being able to find me. I took what little bit of strength I had left and with all my force I bit Peterson’s hand and swung my legs back hitting him just hard enough to get his hand off of my mouth.

“Spencer!” I screamed as loud as I could before the hand once again found my mouth and the taser found its way back into my side. Screams of pain left my lips, muffled from the ears upstairs. 

“Did you guys hear that,” Spencer said causing everyone to freeze.

“Yeah it sounded like it was coming from below us,” Emily said.

“Hey guys check this out,” Morgan said. I could hear the familiar sound of the carpet being dragged back and then the trap door to the stairs being opened up. 

Peterson’s hand left my mouth and I heard the sound of a gun being cocked beside my head. He pointed the gun towards the stairs, taser still pressed into my side. As I heard the steps begin to descend the stairs I realized he was probably going to shoot whoever came down.

“Wait he has a gun!” I screamed in warning. That distracted Peterson as he once again tased me causing me to cry out. The foot steps descended faster and soon everyone came into view. Tears sprung to my eyes as I saw Spencer. I could tell by the look on his face that he did not handle me being kidnapped well at all. 

“Put the gun down Peterson,” Spencer said aiming the gun at him. However, no one had a clear shot because he was using my body as a shield. 

“Take one more step and I’ll shoot her!” He yelled back aiming the gun at my head that hung down, me no longer having the strength to hold it up myself. 

“You shoot her and we shoot you,” Hotch said beside Spencer, gun aimed and ready. 

“There’s no way out of this Peterson you killed 15 women and kidnapped and tortured an FBI agent,” JJ said coming around to Spencer’s other side.

Peterson let out a spine chilling chuckle. He quickly pressed the button on the taser one last time causing me to scream in pain as he had turned the voltage as high as it would go before shocking me one last time. He then pulled the trigger of the gun, a loud bang going off. The taser fell from my side as Peterson hit the ground. He had shot himself. 

“Hotch, JJ, unhook the cuffs. I got her,” Spencer said wrapping his arms around my body.

“I knew you’d figure it out,” I smiled lazily at him, vision beginning to fade into the darkness. 

“Come on Y/N stay with me,” He said carrying me up the stairs. “I love you baby I just got you back stay with me now.”

“I love you too Spence,” I said and that's the last thing I remember besides being loaded into an ambulance.

-

As I woke up the first thing I noticed was the unbearably bright light. The next thing I noticed was the pain all over my body but more specifically my side. Oh yeah that’s right I was repeatedly tased. I groaned shifting and opening my eyes. The small moment caused the curly haired man asleep in the chair beside my bed to stir.

“Y/N you're awake,” Spencer said smiling at you. His smile quickly turned to a frown. “ What the hell were you thinking!” He yelled at me.

“I’m sorry Spence I made a bad call,” I whispered looking down.

“I was so worried about you. I thought I lost you,” He said tears falling from both of our eyes. He pushed his forehead against mine wiping my tears.

“You didn’t lose me. I’m right here,” I said reaching up and brushing his tears away as well.

“I love you so much. I’m so glad you’re okay,” He said pressing his lips to mine in a sweet kiss. 

“I love you too. I’m sorry,” I said again kissing him back. When he pulled back there was a knock on the door and in came the rest of the team giving me hugs and telling me to get better soon.

“The doctor said you’re going to be fine, but you have to take it easy for a little while until your injuries heal,” Hotch said being the last one, besides Spencer, in the room. 

“Really Hotch I’m fine I don't need time off,” I said trying to sit up more and groaning from the sharp pain in my side.

“You’re taking time off until you’re better Y/N and that's an order. Get well soon,” he said giving me a half smile before closing the door on his way out.

“They want to keep you overnight for observation,” Spencer said smiling at me.

“Will you stay with me,” I said giving him puppy dog eyes that I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist. 

“Of course anything for you,” he said. I scooted over in the bed to make room for Spencer and he climbed onto the bed and wrapped me in his arms as we both drifted off to sleep. Spencer leaving a light kiss to my head.

[iwriteficsandmore]

A Little Piece of You

Oh shit, haha! Forgot to put a preview here. Hi! I’m alive! Have been busy writing for my other WIPs but wanted to get this out here bc I love you guys and also this was a cute af soulmate au. Thanks to @insanemarshmallow for the wonderful explanation of this chibi soulmate AU! Also god bless the settphel pairing of league of legends. It gave me the right amount of inspiration for a cute and angtsy oneshot :D

For a child, it's a wondrous thought the one of knowing you would one day find a soulmate. Even more so when you constantly saw it everywhere you went. People going about their lives with cute tiny versions of that one person that belonged with them and whom they were to spend the rest of their lives with. It was a fairytale on its own. One that became yours to live once you turned eighteen and that little piece of them came to you. It was a strange thing to see it happen, but just as great as you thought it'd be when a tiny version of your soulmate hatched from its egg. It had been born alongside you, a reminder that you, too, had someone waiting for you once you grew. You took care of that egg when young knowing how precious it was after hearing so many stories of happily ever afters. And now you finally had it. Alive. 

The first thing that came out of the shell when it broke were red feathers. They poked out somewhat matted and ruffled as it finally emerged and huge amber eyes met yours. His tiny hands ruffled his dark blonde hair back. Chills ran down him as he shook himself out of his stupor and traveled from his head all the way to his toes and tiny wings, sprouting at the end like a blown-up balloon. He was adorable. And the first and only thing he said was his name: Keigo. Finally, you had your very own soulmate! 

But...the experience of having a soulmate was tiring to say the least. 

You didn't know if it was just Keigo, but taking care of this particular red bird was a full-time job. Quirks were already a problem to deal with in and of themselves. But that the small part of your soulmate's soul could readily use those wings of his to fly all around your house was a bigger problem in itself. When you got him at first you thought about keeping him in a cage whenever you had to go out and couldn't take him with you. The first few times, though, you noted how sad he was when you came home. The way he clung to you every time you let him out and how those massive tears welled up in his eyes broke you inside. You threw that cage away after a week of having it. Having no place to keep him however meant that you needed to teach him to be careful. If Keigo wanted to be free, he needed to be careful lest he be taken away or hurt. Little Keigo didn't take that lesson fully to heart until after a little incident with a cat. After that, he would stay close to you whenever you took him outside with you. It took almost a full year to get used to him, but once you did, it was like you two had been together for your whole life. 

Little Keigo was fun to be around with, always enjoying the things you did with him. His taste for chicken got you to learn plenty of new recipes. He slept soundly with you, his little hands always cradling your thumb when he slept in the palm of your hand. And those feathers. You kind of figured what his Quirk was simply by the way he would control all those feathers on his crimson wings. Thing was that he would try to help you at times with things a little too heavy for him which was both worrying and sweet in equal measures. 

Sadly not everything was nice. Not long after he was born did you notice that he began showing signs of pain. Always different places but very visibly hurting. Like someone was hitting or hurting him somehow. You knew the wounds wouldn't show, but seeing him always tired and in pain for days on end would cause your heart to ache to no end. There were also times when his feathers would simply fall with no explanation. It wasn't him controlling them either. They would simply fall and turn a dark brown like petals falling from flowers. And in a way, it was, because when that happened, it would take several days for new ones to grow. Although you were saddened that he was grumpy and glum from being unable to fly, a part of you was also glad. Only when his feathers fell like that did he ever seem to take any breaks and rest. 

'It's your soulmate,' your mother said when you asked her. 'He's reacting to the soul bond between them. There's nothing you can do except wait it out with him.'

And it's exactly what you did. You never questioned it nor chastised him. You knew it wouldn't serve any purpose. Instead, you took care that Keigo wouldn't suffer anymore from your end than his counterpart was already going through. It still hurt though, seeing him hurting. But what stung your heart the most was the way that sometimes tears would just spring from him out of the blue. It happened during the middle of the night almost always and when that crying woke you up, it tore at your heart that you could do nothing more than hold him close and soothe that tiny part of his soul. 

A couple more years went by like that—sometimes painfully, most rather joyfully—until you figured it out. 

It was during dinnertime. Now that you were out of home and living by yourselves in a little apartment close to campus, it was usually spent doing exactly that, eating. But that particular day, Keigo wanted to watch TV. It's not something you did often. You were what they called a country bumpkin through and through. Though you had the resources, you seldom were on the web unless necessary for a task. You had a TV when you lived with your folks but aside from watching cartoons every now and then you never really paid it any attention. The one you had in your tiny apartment was one that had been left behind by the previous tenant. Just a small box with antennas that worked only when it wanted. Complying with his request, you somehow made it work, having it close enough for him to watch while you both ate. And it was while chewing through a serving of yakitori, you saw him.

Keigo. A much, much bigger version. And he was saving people and beating villains on network television. To say you almost choked to death would be an understatement. Keigo—your cute, little Keigo—was the Number Three Hero in all of Japan. The hero known as Hawks. Disbelief was what struck you first and hard. But the more your little Keigo, that little piece of him that resembled the hero to a T, pointed at the flickering screen with a larger than life smile on his face, the more you knew there was no denying the truth. But how? How had you missed such a huge thing for so long? Sure your upbringing explained it a bit. That your parents weren't big hero fans in general also added to it. But that could only hide everything for a little while. Maybe the first year. But for the last four?

God, you seriously needed to see an eye doctor from how damn blind you were. 

You were still baffled as could be when you and Kei went out to the convenience store if only to get your mind out of things. But there was no time for you to space out when, out of the blue, Keigo suddenly perked up and flew away from his perch on your shoulder. Utterly freaking out when it was this late at night, you chased after the fast little pigeon, turning corner after corner and getting more lost the longer you did. You dodged some random people who were on their late night stroll or going back home from work apologizing all the way as you chased after that little red fluff of feathers as quick as you could. Finally, when he was getting too far, you shouted his name in an attempt to get him to slow down. He turned a corner, you did too—and crashed right into someone.

A hand firmly grasped your arm to stop you from falling back almost instantly. You hurriedly apologized not wanting to lose Keigo. But when the person spoke up, you froze in your tracks.

"Y/n?"

Almost instantly, your head snapped upward and met amber eyes. Rather familiar ones at that with those delineations on those eyes. The name spilled from little lips almost instantly without you even noticing.  

"Keigo?"

A soft glow took both of your attentions and made you face to the side were a couple of little things were floating in midair. It was your little Keigo and in his arms...a tiny version of you. Both were giddily giggling as he spun them in midair with his wings. The glow that caught your sight had been the one they were emanating as they danced. A glow that, like you'd been told by your mother long ago, meant that you and your soulmate had finally found one another and were truly bonded. Out of breath as you were, it took you a second to finally turn back to the man before you. 'Keigo,' you reminded yourself. Before you could say anything, he let out a hearty laughter that reached his eyes as he took off the baseball cap he had on letting windswept blonde tresses fall over his face. Curious how on him it was a rather handsome look instead of cute. 

"Who would've thought, huh?" As he laughed again, he reached out his hand to the two tiny versions of yourselves. Your little Keigo brought themselves back to the palm of his hand, the two holding hands and bumping their foreheads against each other like little doves. "Y'know, I always thought the little you was cute. Never thought you'd be this lovely in real life."

"T-Thank you." Dumb, yes, but you had no idea what else to say. Your brain was fried after all these surprises in less than 24 hours! The No.3 hero—your soulmate—was before you, and it was far more than you could take at the moment. When you noticed him staring, it finally brought back some of that notorious self-consciousness of yours as you fidgeted in your own shoes. "S-Sorry! It's a bit of a shock to find you, well, here. Now. And god, I can't believe this is happening now when I just found out about you."

Those amber eyes grew a bit quizzical at her statement. "What do you mean?" You were embarrassed to admit that you barely had put two and two together about his identity which got another laugh from him. "Honestly, not surprising." He reached up to ruffle the little you's head lovingly as a tender smile came to his face. "You never liked watching TV or playing with my phone. I always carry a book with me because you like to read so much. I never thought it'd take this long to find each other."

"How long have you been a hero?" you asked, curious.

"Since I was eighteen."

Oh. That explained so much. Yet nothing at all at the same time. Wanting to start things again, you cleared your throat and stood in front of him as your little Keigo returned to your side, sitting on your shoulder with a proud grin. "H-How about we start again? I'm y/n, it's nice to meet you, Kiego-san."

Keigo chuckled as the little you returned to the safety of his shirt pocket, peeking out from under the flap with as wide a smile as his. "It's nice to meet you, too, y/n."

[saladejin]

Call An Uber? | 21

BTS x Reader | idolverse au, uber driver!Reader, translator!Reader | Fluff, flirting, super slow burn, angst and hurt/comfort, mature themes and eventual smut

Summary: Your normal life with a normal, yet inconsistent job gets drastically changed when your dreams come true. Sounds boring right?

What happens when all of this occurs, but you’re still doing something you love AND getting a large sum for it? Now there’s something to think about, and it’s definitely not what you’re thinking.

Warnings: Angst with some fluff, cursing

Word Count: 3k

A/N: Re-reading this through is so weird to me. I’m sorry for all the angst, I hope you guys forgive me T_T

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 Books, clothes, equipment… It didn’t matter what was, if it was in my way it was getting shoved in my haste to reach the phone. It was like I could feel the storm of anger awaiting me on the other side of the hotel door, but priorities did come first. Soojin could go fuck herself for all I cared at the moment.

My thumb hovered over the tiny green telephone symbol for longer than necessary. Was it urgent enough to put above my job at the moment? I wouldn’t be surprised if my mother had just pocket called me or drank a little too much. It was too strange to have any positive implications. To be frank, I was probably trying too hard to convince myself otherwise because the opportunity to stall was too tempting to ignore.

Anyone who knew me well would know just how much I loved to procrastinate problem solving. Long lasting ones weren’t an exception in any case.

“(Y/n), you finally showed up.”

What? Fuck, I must have tapped it while I was lost in my brain.

“Mother,” I responded through gritted teeth. 

Trepidation weighed my tone down to the floor.

Then there was a silence that made me feel as unsure as ever. If you asked me to explain the feelings caused by the echoingly empty sound, I couldn’t tell you. It was as if she was carefully handpicking her next words. Tiptoeing so cautiously around her thoughts, just in case I didn’t like what she had to say and barred myself away once more.

She’s too foolish to understand that I can see through her, even if she’s not physically here.

I fiercely fought down the urge to grind my teeth in anger and chose to wait patiently instead. If she had to take the time to think about what she was saying, then she obviously wanted to be in my favour somehow. I could not for the life of me understand how she’d possibly thought that was a scenario that existed, but apparently it did.  

“Honey … how have you been these days?”  

A surge of bile bubbled up through my windpipe. This problem was becoming borderline toxic.

“You better get to the point before I hang up,” I seethed. The plan was to keep my tone calm and neutral but there was no way the hurt wasn’t going to seep through the cracks. Hearing how fake and desperate she’d become just single-handedly destroyed what little snippet of respect I had left, buried deeply somewhere there in my heart.

She scoffed almost soundlessly before heeding the request.

“Fine, if it’s really going to be this way. I need money. Your dumbass father has gone and crashed the car again, but this time he’s pretty messed up. We can’t afford all these bills and I really need some booze if I’m gonna stay sane in this shithole. You’re the only child still attached to us so you’re going to be the one to get your dunce of a dad out of debt.”

I felt my chest tighten the longer she spoke, albeit rather roughly, but the words were still heavy with wrenching information. I didn’t know exactly how to feel, but I knew this whole situation would be a hell of a lot easier without the tugging family ties making me second guess everything.

“Hold on, how bad is the accident?” I growled, trying to ignore the rest of her sentence about alcohol and shitholes. The thought of my own father being severely injured made my heart skip a beat in sudden fear. It wasn’t too bad, was it?

“Pretty damn bad, I guess. He was in the ER, and I’m sure the doctor said something about rehab? Acute rehab? Ugh, can’t remember.”

This is terrible, and she can barely bring herself to care!

Tears unwillingly pricked at the corners of my eyes and I furiously blinked them away.

“Is he on life support or something?”

“Not anymore. Dunno why he’s still being a dickhead and drink driving everywhere. Something was bound to happen eventually, and if it was up to me they should have slapped a band aid on it and sent him on his way. These fancy doctors just want to leech money from us.”

“You realise that money is what kept him alive, right?” I murmured in disbelief. There was a raging war of conflict taking place in my mind, and I couldn’t even fathom how she was being so nonchalant about all of it. Her own husband had almost died, and she was blaming the hospital for their crippling poverty.

“(Y/n), darling…”

There it was again, that wickedly sweetened voice that could only be a feeble attempt at manipulation at this point.

“I’m only going to think about it for the sake of life and death, I literally can’t believe how fucking disgusting you are. Don’t consider me attached to you ever again,” I choked out in a haze of fury. I could feel every shred of dignity and hope I had left for my family burn away into cloudy ash before me.

“I should have known better.”

And with that I hung up. The silence was too deafening, too close and invasive to be even remotely comfortable. I didn’t even know why the disappointment and vindication was hitting so hard and fast either, because in the back of my worrisome mind I always knew that nothing good could come from such a reach.

Wishful thinking. It seemed to be something I lived by too closely.

My eyes blurred with a watery film as I brought the phone screen upwards again. Soojin was waiting for me like a brewing storm outside, but I knew that I just couldn’t stitch myself back together for a meeting mere minutes after feeling my tendrils of a childhood slip away from me.

‘Can you come in here for a minute or two? It’s okay if you and Yoongi left already.’

I sent the text to Namjoon after a second of hesitation. I knew normally I would’ve dealt with the emotion and carefully hidden it away to move on with my working life. I wouldn’t have allowed anyone see past the drawn curtains into the darkness behind, but things had changed drastically over the past few months.

Since I had pulled that stupid stunt and distanced myself from everyone I cared about, things had changed. Yoongi’s words rang clearly through my head again and again like a broken record.

“You could’ve talked to us, we wouldn’t just ignore you if it was about something serious. Jesus, especially if you were feeling depressed. (Y/n), please…”

Then Taehyung’s.

“This is why you can’t hide your feelings. At least talk to one person, a close friend or something, because I know you haven’t…”

“I’m here.”

I sniffled in surprise as the hotel door clicked shut suddenly. Namjoon was by my side in less than a moment, breaths coming out in quiet pants even though he seemed to be trying his best at controlling the strained puffs of air.

“Oh God, you really ran back here for me?” I sighed, trying to tip my head back to get rid of the annoying things called tears.

“I was only down the hall, trust me,” Namjoon assured softly, taking notice of my sorry state of emotions and instantly switching his gaze to one full of concern. I watched as his perceptive eyes trailed down the length of my arm to the phone clasped into my shaking palms.

“(Y/n) …”

I almost jumped in my skin when he moved to slowly unclasp my fingers from around the warm device. The man took the rectangular object and slid it carefully onto the surface of the bedside table before taking a seat beside me on the bed. His honeyed voice was nothing but soothing to the ears.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

Then I spilled it all, like a broken dam rushing to meet what physics required of it. His eyes hardened as I spoke about my mother and her overall attitude, but softened when I couldn’t help voicing my newfound conflictions. I wasn’t surprised to find myself cradled into his broad chest by the end of it.

“A-and Taehyung had just pretty much convinced me to try reaching out to them last night. Now I’m forced into making a decision I don’t even want to find myself making. It’s just that…if he dies I will never forgive myself, and I really, really fucking hate that.”

I was almost ready to openly cry into the flimsy polyester shirt he wore, but once again I found myself holding back in fear of losing face. I never knew why I just couldn’t let it all go for once in my life. Maybe it was something too utterly routine after years and years of practice.

“Nobody can blame you for feeling that way about your own father, (Y/n). It’s like a natural instinct to try and protect those closest to you,” Namjoon murmured lowly. I let my eyes droop shut as I tuned into the rumblings coming from his chest.

“That’s the thing. I’m not close to them at all.”

A hollow sigh was next. His body relaxed further as he grew used to the feeling of my tears sinking through his exercise shirt, because even though he was the one to bring me into the reassuring hold, he still wasn’t accustomed to such a close proximity with someone other than his bandmates. I felt so indebted to him in every way.

“Even so, it’s family. You feel this connection that no-one else can, and even if you don’t like who they are as people, there will always be a love there that you might think is just too unexplainable. Now that I think about it, your nature to care about others probably made you even more susceptible.”

I couldn’t help but widen my eyes. He was always able to just come out and spin my thoughts into the words I couldn’t come up with. He just seemed to understand the very world we lived in, along with all of its nasty people and ideologies, in a way I struggled to. I was shocked at how he was able to take any point of view, turn it around to see the other side of it, and grasp the concept just as easily. An optimistic part of it, nonetheless.

“Namjoon, why are you just so amazing?” I chuckled after a minute of contemplative silence. He’d fidgeted slightly when I hadn’t responded, wondering if he’d done something wrong or made things worse. He was a little goofy sometimes, but nobody could deny how brilliant he truly was as a person.

“I’m not really,” He huffed bashfully, and I was shocked again when I felt one of his large hands come up to stroke my hair in comfort. It was so weirdly easy to be comforted by him after such a stressful morning.

“It’s just easy to see why you’re feeling the way you are. Take my advice and think hard about what you want to do about it.”

I felt the pad of a finger wipe away the last of my salty tears from my skin. The action was so sweet I couldn’t help but lift my head to meet his heartwarming gaze. The sight of his slight smile and tiny dented dimples made my heart almost stutter to a halt.

“In the end, they may only be using you and may only continue to turn a blind eye to the wonderful daughter they have, but at least you know you did what you believed was right. Use the love they may not feel to love yourself and the person you are.”

“Namjoon, stop before I…”

Taehyung I wish you could look, because this is me opening up. It’s ugly isn’t it?

More tears suddenly flowed and for once I couldn’t hold it back anymore. Namjoon’s face fell as I sobbed loudly into his chest, the liquid remorse tumbling out unstoppably. I couldn’t see his saddened expression of relief, but I knew I wasn’t alone in feeling the pent up tension flow away along with the waterworks. His muffled ‘shh, it’s gonna be fine’ and gentle strokes of encouragement to my head began gradually replacing the emotions with joyous ones.

I felt so much appreciation and love for the man it almost hurt.

“I haven’t cried in front of anyone since primary school, up until this morning in the hallway and now here,” I whimpered after a few minutes, almost letting myself doze off to the feeling of his presence enveloping me. How long had it even been?

“I’m just glad you even told me as much as you did. Taehyung might have mentioned that a few of us could see your pain, even if you didn’t know it was there yourself,” Namjoon said after clearing his throat slightly. I felt bad that I’d forced him into staying with me through the bout of misery, but his words violently struck more than one chord.

Yeah, and he also mentioned something else.

I was suddenly reminded of Taehyung’s big revelation from the night prior. The feelings they all had for me. I forced myself to keep my eyes trained forward, but there was no way Namjoon hadn’t noticed the way my body tensed up all of a sudden.

I can’t ask him about it now, or confirm it. They’re in the middle of a busy schedule and I also have stuff to deal with. I’m going to have to wait until we’re back in Korea to confront them about it.

I relaxed again and finally removed myself from Namjoon. He looked up at my standing figure with slight confusion, not really being sure of my stability or composure just yet. I could only sigh to let us both know that I was feeling a hell of a lot better than before.

I took one amused moment to glance over his slightly ruffled black tresses, probably having little to no effort put into the style for a day such as this one. Soft hours were now open in the messy hotel room.

“Thank you so much, I really needed … all of that,” I smiled crookedly, indicating that I was ready to move on with my life and away from the dilemma of my family for now. Namjoon got to his feet quickly after almost knocking over the vase of flowers on the bedside table. He grunted in surprise while I laughed and grabbed for his flailing hand to help keep him steady.

“It’s fine, you know it always is. You’ve been through more shit this morning than most go through in a week or months. I’d say you deserve a shoulder to cry on whenever you need one,” he spoke seriously and nodded, averting his widened eyes down to where I still held his hand within my own. These guys really did love a lot of hand attention, I did come to find after all this time.

“You’re sent from the heavens Joonie,” I chuckled airily, feeling so many feelings but nowhere near as crushingly as I had earlier.

“You confused me with you, angel,” He replied abruptly, moving with a confidence I rarely saw to shift a stray lock of hair away from my face. His smile was so warm and his line incredibly cheesy, but I felt something within me snap. The love was too intense for me to overlook.

I stepped forward and reached up to cradle his smiling cheeks into my palms. There was a need to rise onto my tiptoes before my lips finally grazed his in a very restricted but needy kiss. I fought back a smile when I felt his muscles slacken in absolute shock, but then he was returning everything wholeheartedly. His large hands pulled me closer by the waist and his lips started moving against mine just as surely, as if it were something that had been waiting to happen for too long.

I almost felt myself get lost in the sensation, but something nagged at me the further I slipped away into the moment.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” I gasped, pulling away reluctantly and squeezing my eyes shut in burning shame. I was embarrassed of myself for not upholding the pact I’d created about leaving the whole feelings thing until later on, plus I had basically thrown myself at him without giving anything resembling a warning.

“Why are you sorry? I think you just made me the happiest man on Earth,” Namjoon protested in shock, eyes wide and hands spread open to anticipate any sudden movements I made to escape. His cheeks were flushed a rosy pink and I found it undeniably gorgeous to contrast his complexion.

“I promised to leave it, but I just couldn’t control myself. Can we finish this-”

I made a little circular motion with one finger.

“-once we get back to Korea? I just have to speak to everyone.”

Namjoon nodded and agreed tentatively. I could tell by the way his brows furrowed slightly that he’d probably figured out the reasoning behind my request, but he would have to wait to question Taehyung at another time. I inwardly thanked him for his overarching awareness.

“If you see Tae, tell him I’m alright and that he needs to stop blaming himself. I know he’s probably taking the whole Soojin thing badly. I’ll fix it all,” I continued in a more level tone of voice, bringing back the sense of professionalism as I began thinking of how I was going to go about this predicament.

“Of course. Good luck out there,” He gave my shoulder an awkward pat before moving towards the door. I sighed regretfully as the leader left without another word, the strange tension lingering but somehow not becoming an overpowering force.

It’s your own fault. You went and kissed him, so now you’ve gone and confused everyone and yourself.

I didn’t know what lay in store for me now, as the news would surely spread like an untamed wildfire; stemming from Tae and Namjoon undoubtedly. What a bloody dumb thing to do, considering I’d just been accused of fucking around with one of them already.

My phone vibrated against the smooth surface of the bedside table loudly. Surprisingly, or maybe not so much, being the devil incarnate herself.

‘We’re waiting in the office area downstairs, I suggest you make it snappy or I’ll get on with this on my own.’

          Copyright © 2020 by salade. All rights reserved.  

tagged:  @joyful-jimin​​​​​, @l4life​​​​​, @gee-nee​​​​​, @m0chilattae​​​​​, @rossemayme​​​​, @doilooklikeinoe​​​​, @jeon-joker​​​​, @topthis808​​​​, @justyouraveragerando​​​​​​, @booklover240​​​​, @midnight1199​​, @k-popin-hoe​​, @xctvme​

[lokispettigerr]

Painting the Wind: Jotun!Loki x Female!Reader SMUT (NSFW)

Requested by @rougepetale. I killed three Bilgesnipe with one arrow though because I decided to follow out two more requests-- a Jotun!Loki fic and a dark fic. This is book material and I am proud. 

***It is Pet Tiger Tuesdays!!!! Get stoked!

Summary: Reader drives men, and women, wild with just her scent. One evening, she attends her friend’s art viewing at a studio. When Loki catches her scent she runs, spurred on by the dangerous lust that he radiates.

Word Count: 4096

Warning: Sex Pollen, Dom Loki, Non-Con

A/N: So, remember that Mushroom Muse Stew I posted about a while back? Maybe last week, well it pops up again here. **Not my image

Beauty, attraction, and irresistibility is a blessing and a curse. 

When I was younger, I was raised by monsters who injected their precious serum into my blood year after year after year. Each injection would make me the person I am today, the beast I have become. But do you ever wonder who the true monster is? The beast that was either born into its circumstances or forced into them, or the people or superhuman entity that made them the way they are.

As I look in the mirror now at my reflection I don’t look much a beast. I have doe eyes, bright and big. My lashes make shadows dance upon my cheeks. My lips are full and my skin glows inhumanly. I have womanly curves and hair that shines even on a cloudy day. 

If you want to know the truth, how I really feel about all this talk of monsters and beasts. I think that both parties are at fault. The people who raised me are at fault for sure for forcing this path upon me, but I too am at fault. You gasp? You are shocked? You don’t know me. There are times when I enjoy the way people are uncontrollably aroused towards me. I enjoy knowing that I am constantly in control because they would do anything to be with me, if even for a few moments. You see, there is a part of me that is very much like the monsters who raised me. I am greedy. I was never given love or affection and no matter how much I get now, even an infinite amount… It would never be enough. There is something in me insidious and wrong. 

I turned from my reflection just as my open hand turned to a fist wanting to smash the shiny glass into pieces. What good would that do me? 

I left the house, my heels clicking down the sidewalk outside of the apartment building. The wind was beginning to pick up and the sun kept passing behind giant, ominous looking clouds. I kept my head down shielding my eyes against the wind as my hair fanned out, causing a trail of pheromones to sway luxuriously out behind me. 

Everywhere I went I painted the tail of the wind with my intoxicating scent. Of course, this wasn’t always safe, but I had been trained by the monstrous, mad scientists that raised me. I was unbelievably strong and was meant to be a breeding *whore* to create super soldiers. 

I was an experiment gone wrong. All of my sisters were too. All of us failed. It was something I always found laughable. 

We were all deemed infertile. The pheromones they so ruthlessly injected us with made us alluring, but ironically it nuked our reproductive organs. No sweet bundle of baby joys would ever be a product of me, and in truth, I liked it better that way. I can imagine that with my background I would be a horrifying parent. 

I essentially was a super-soldier. I could practically strangle a man with my bare hands within moments. I could hit someone on their shoulder hard enough that their head would come clean off. When I was a kid, and not very strong I would walk past dandelions doing the same thing. Hitting them hard enough for the flower head to pop right off, all while I ran along wearing a white dress, bows in my hair musical laughter pouring from my lips. Innocence turned to corruption-- it has always been there. 

My text notification chirped and I pulled the phone out of my pocket with a quick glance at the screen. I was meeting Willow at her art showing tonight. I had promised and I was going to come through for her. Being around a group of people like that always made me antsy, all of them would be horny and wanting to grab at me being in close proximity but luckily, Willow mentioned there was an open bar. When I was able to get a little buzz, the anxiety from the surrounding horn dogs usually lessened and I could loosen up, even give them a little of what they wanted. 

I turned the corner and approached the art studio building, “Montross Art Studios” a golden wire looking sign read. It swayed back and forth in the wind as the breeze began to pick up. I could only hope that when I opened the door, the wind would not blow my scent within the art studio. In close quarters it moved slowly, but if the wind stirred the air it would be a scent spread like wildfire. 

I was lucky. The wind had stopped long enough for me to get inside the studio. The door creaked loudly on its hinges, but the studio was full of laughter and chatter, blues music playing over the speakers. 

I scanned the sea of faces looking for Willow’s dark bob and big brown eyes. She was around somewhere, I could sense it. I knew I would run into her eventually and my nerves were already jumping and on highwire so I decided to go to the bar and grab a drink. 

A handsome man stood up against the bar, his posture excuding cockyness and confidence-- of course, if I looked like him I would do the same thing. His hair was shockingly black and his eyes were bright green. He was leaning over the counter of the bar talking in an erotic purr at the bartender who would laugh intermittently while he took a clean wipe towel and rubbed different glasses, making them have a shine. 

He took a sip of a green drink and placed the cup on the bar to move a strand of his black hair behind his ear, exposing his sharp jawline. I was usually not nervous when approaching any sex, but this man at the counter made me feel uneasy. I weighed my options, continue to feel anxious and on edge throughout the art gathering or face one man for a few moments, order a drink, and feel the calm settle over my brain like a security blanket. The choice was easy, a few minutes of discomfort was much easier than discomfort the remainder of the night. 

I made sure to walk as smoothly as I could, so as not to stir the air. When I made it to the bar I kept my distance from the attractive man who oozed danger all about him. 

“Hi there,” I paused while I looked for the bartender's name tag, it read, “Joe?”. I giggled, “ You aren’t sure if Joe is your name?”

He shot me a shy smile back, “If I made a beautiful woman like you laugh then I have succeeded. For you, I’ll be whoever you want me to be. What’ll you have?”

“Just a martini please.” I glanced from the side of my eye at the dark-haired man standing beside me. I could feel his piercing gaze. “Joe, she was mistaken, she will have what I am having.”

I looked at him, wide-eyed, my eyebrows going up. Joe seemed confused, “She said she would like a marti--”

The man standing beside me cut him off, his eyes boring through Joe and into the wall, “Absinthe, Joe. Get the lady Absinthe.”

Joe’s face went blank and he immediately began to pour Absinthe. A chill went down my spine, I had never seen someone command something with such force. I quickly began to rethink the drink. Screw this, I could be uncomfortable the rest of the night. 

Once the bartender had finished preparing the Absinthe he lit the sugar cube on fire. I could not deny the color of the Absinthe combined with the bright burning flame was beautiful. I smiled to myself enraptured by the fire. For a moment I felt alone in the room, the fire holding my attention. It was so beautiful. 

“Your complexion is glowing.” The twilight satin voice brought my thoughts back to the current situation. 

I looked away from the flame, “Just a trick of the light, everyone looks captivating against the allure of firelight.”

The man was silent as he continued to watch me, his eyes half-lidded. 

“I think not,” he whispered, “you’re special…”

I feigned ignorance, after all he was just feeling the average effects of being too close to me. “I don’t know what you are talking about.” I wanted to take a sip of the absinthe, something to keep my mouth busy so I no longer felt the need to carry on this conversation. 

Just then, the door to the studio opened and a gust of wind blew in stirring the air around me, making my hair twirl along my back and shoulders. The flame above the absinthe blew out. Shit!

It was as if time stilled, the man beside me went rigid-- his body freezing, all except for his nostrils which flared dramatically, taking in my scent. His eyes fluttered closed and his head reclined slightly back. Strangely, blue lines were creeping up his neck, and his skin began to darken. 

My eyes searched the crowd, Did anyone else see this? 

His eyes shot open, burning and completely red, “What were you saying?” 

I had to get out! “Uh, gotta go!” I turned to leave, but his fingers quickly closed around my arm. “Not so fast,” he warned. He was strong, superhuman strong. I should have easily been able to break his hold on me but his grasp was like chains of solid iron. 

Just then Willow approached. The mysterious man released my arm, but not before Willow saw him holding it. 

“What’s going on here, Loki?” She asked, a concerned look on her face. 

I answered instead. “I’m so sorry Willow, I got a call. I’ll try to see if I can make it next time.” I ducked my head not wanting her to see the lie. 

Her face fell, disappointment covering it, “Well, okay, if you have to go, I understand.”

I began to walk away, towards the door, towards freedom, “I’ll call you!” I called out over my shoulder and the door slammed behind me. I never looked back to see what the man was doing or if he was watching me, but every fiber of me felt like it was the sugar cube still sitting on the absinthe, on fire, burning brightly-- a flame that would never extinguish. I knew he was watching me as I walked away. 

Usually, I don’t have this kind of reaction, but my body screamed at me to get away as fast as I could. It was as if my brain knew, from all the strength and training that I had, even I could not hold my own against the man in the art studio-- Loki was it? What an odd name. I shoved my arms, hurriedly into my cloak and quickly flipped up the hood. I carried around a thin cloak oftentimes, it helped keep my pheromones in one place and not billowing all about-- plus it looked kinda cool. 

With each step I took, my anxiety increased. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was being followed. I sped up my pace only to hear what sounded like footsteps approaching at the same speed as my own. I glanced back, the wind tugging ruthlessly at my hood. No one was there. It was only me, the echo of my footsteps. I was alone and so close to home. I would be safe soon. 

My heart was racing and my blood was pumping, making a whooshing sound that filled my ears and pounded around my head. Every few moments I would glance back only to see an empty sidewalk and a few dried leaves skirt by, pushed on by the wind. 

Dusk had settled, not doing anything to help my nerves, and street lamps flickered to life. The harsh light pooled down at the sidewalk interrupting any chances I had at using my night vision. I would try to peer out past the bright lights towards the edge of the trees or across the sidewalk from where I loped, but all I could see were shadows with hunger in their eyes and saliva dripping from their teeth. None of it was real, my fear was making it all up. My imagination was running wild and I knew that as soon as I made it back home and my locks were in place everything would be right in the world. 

Wait… There, what was that? Footsteps not matching my own approaching from behind, my breath caught in my throat and I opened my mouth in case I needed all the air possible for a scream. I was so close, so close to home-- just around the corner and I could rush up the steps, past the lonely, naked lady fountain, past the gardenias making the night smell aromatic, past the garden bed, past the empty swing that often rocked back and forth in the cool night air as it creaked out a forlorn tune, all the way up seven steps to the threshold of my *home*.

I opened the old iron gate, tossing it shut behind me without ever looking back. My hood flew off in my hurry to get inside and I skipped up the steps taking two at a time. The keys were already in my hand and I forced them into the latch turning while I simultaneously twisted the knob. 

The smell of the sage I had burnt early trickled out. I inhaled deeply, the sigh that left my parted lips was one of triumph. I had made it. I shrugged out of my cloak, exposing the skin on my shoulders. I tossed the keys towards the stand near the door and they landed with a sharp clack. The house was dark, but it didn’t matter. I let the darkness of my home envelop me like a warm blanket. I teased my arm along the wall feeling towards the light switch, bracing myself for the moment the lights would come on when I heard a low rumble as someone across from me cleared their throat-- a growl from a hunter. 

Panic choked me, my eyes grew wide with fear and I could acutely see myself from somewhere else in the room. I stood, frozen with terror, unable to move.

“You’re wondering how I came to be here. How I knew this humble abode was yours.” Loki’s sultry voice purred at me from the shadows, just above a whisper. “The fountain out front is a nice touch.” He stalked towards me, the shadows sliding away from him to expose his predatory form. The blue tendrils that had begun to crawl up his skin in the art studio had taken full effect. His skin was now a deep blue hue with exotic markings and his eyes were a violent red. They glowed and cut through the darkness. Had he been bitten by some ghastly bug that had bestowed this monstrous, yet alluring form upon him?

Suddenly, my brain jump-started. I pushed away from the wall, running down the hallway and towards the kitchen. I needed a weapon! Anything. 

It was no use! Somehow the devil named, “Loki” was there-- it was as if he appeared from thin air. 

“There is no use in fighting it. You will soon tire, and I will not soon grow bored.” He glanced at me, his eyes glowing feverishly. 

I reached for a large knife, serrated and as long as my forearm. *This would do the trick*, I thought, right before it turned into a snake within my grasp. I yelped dropping it before running off again towards the dining room. Had something been slipped into my drink to make me have delusions?

I stopped, my back against the wall, my shoulder blades hurting. My chest rose and fell as I heaved. Loki walked, smooth as a water dancer, into the dining room. His chin was tilted down and a deranged smile was on his lips. He was beautiful-- there was no denying it. 

When he reached the rug under the table, I pushed off the wall, my palms lifting and shoving the solid oak table towards Loki. 

But with a simple wave of his hand, it stopped in thin air, never touching him. He moved his hand to the side as if swatting at a lazy fly and it smashed against the wall next to me. How? How was he doing this?

He laughed and I wanted to smile in response, I would do anything to hear that sultry laughter again. “You are clever. I like that about you,” he said as he moved towards me. I stayed against the wall. Clearly, running was useless. I clenched my jaw and narrowed my eyes. 

“Ooo-- you plan to fight me then?” his eyes went up and down my body, lingering on my hips and my heaving, sweat glistening breasts. “How,” he paused a smile spreading to his face again, “...admirable.” 

He stopped inches from me and part of me wanted to reach out to touch the lines etched on his skin. Were they scars? Had they ever caused him pain? I bit my lip.

“I wouldn’t,” he warned, his voice causing goosebumps to race across my skin and my nipples to tighten. 

I lifted my hand, reeling it back to hit him with all of my strength. It would stun him, for sure. Anything I could do to get out of this situation. 

Too quick, and he saw it coming. My wrist hitting his hand made a loud smacking sound and Loki laughed as if he was amused by my animosity. 

“You are a feral thing aren’t you?”

I grunted, getting ready to slam my forehead against his. He managed to see that one too! His other hand went to my throat, his cool fingers closing around my windpipe. 

He was too strong-- it was incredible. His power was immense. 

Loki leaned towards me, his fingers sliding up my throat to push my jawline. I tried to withstand him, but at last, I submitted. I turned my head to the side and he slid his pointed nose up my neck, inhaling deeply. 

“I can’t possibly help myself,” Loki said aloud, though more to himself than to me. 

“Any reservations, my delightful pet?” he asked, polite as ever, as if he wasn’t holding me against my will. 

“Yes,” I spat, “Go fuck yourse--”.

Loki’s finger went to my lips, shushing me. “My, my, what a foul mouth you have.”

Stupidly, I opened my mouth, taking his finger between my teeth as I bit down. Loki didn’t flinch, instead, he chuckled and removed his now slick finger from my mouth. Though he was smiling, I could feel dark rage rolling from him in waves. “Watch me,” he commanded, and compelled, I couldn’t look away from him.  

His hand slid down to the hem of my dress, pushed past it and pulled gently at my thong, exposing my weeping, wet opening. His masterful fingers plunged within me forcefully, and I cried out in pleasure and in surprise. 

“Ohoho, you like that don’t you? You have wanted this since you first laid eyes on me. Haven’t you?” Loki asked. 

I looked away from him, not wanting to admit what I had in truth felt from the beginning. I wasn’t ready to admit it. 

“Answer me!” he growled as he curled his fingers within and without faster, his thumb rubbing around my aching clit in tight circles. 

The more he rubbed his finger pads upon the spongy tissue of my g-spot, the more I lost the ability to speak-- to form coherent thoughts. I moaned in response. 

“Very well, Pet. That is answer enough. I need to hear you speak for me again.”

*Speak for him again?* What did he mean by that? 

I leaned closer to him, drawing him towards me. My lips closed on his own, and my tongue pried at his lips, coaxing him to part them. He did as I bid, an unspoken communication taking place. And when he opened them I bit down, tasting his blood in my mouth-- it was cool and tasted of the darkest berries. Poisonous yet delicious. 

I had surprised him and a hiss escaped his lips as he pulled away from me. He had recovered quickly, regaining his composure. 

“Fool me once…” His strong arm closed around my waist, and I cried out. “You shouldn’t have done that, Pet.”

He threw me down, effortlessly and I hit the couch, the springs bouncing against my weight. 

He removed his clothes and his body met mine, his soul touched mine. His skin covered me like the waves of the sea that caress the sand of the beach. 

Loki pulled back from me, looking at me hungrily. His hand came up to graze at my breast. I could tell he wanted to slow down, to take all of me in, but something in him or the beast in me made him rush on. 

He pushed his way into me, and I whimpered, his length filling me entirely. 

I rolled my eyes back in my head as visions danced behind my eyelids. A lightning strike met a lone tree, igniting it, making it burn brilliantly. A fox took down a hare, killing it as its narrow jaws closed down around its neck. A herd of wild horses, free and unbroken, stirred the dry-packed earth of a desert-- their mouths open in a song that echoed throughout a canyon. A bird plummeting down, wind flowing through its outstretched wings, 10,000ft. down. 

Loki’s deep moan aroused me further. I opened my eyes to find his muscled form taken in the throes of ecstasy. For a moment, I wondered if he had seen what I had seen, but the thought was gone as quickly as it came. 

Loki’s body stilled as if he was trying to slow down and savor me, but my hips continued to move and buck. I grabbed his narrow hips, pushing and pulling at him, fascinated by the blue tint his skin had against mine. His hand grabbed at both of my wrists, bringing them up easily to rest in confinement above my head. 

“Fuck it,” he breathed raggedly and he sped up his pace, his fingers closing harshly around the bones in my wrist.

“I’m cumming, I’m cumming, oh.” Loki thrust into me, his cum pumping against the opening of my cervix.

In response to Loki’s words, my body came without warning and my back arched, legs shaking as I cried out, my walls clenching down around him. 

Loki’s breath was cool against my neck, a welcome sensation. He stilled above me before turning to lay beside me. I watched his every move, my eyes full of wonder.

“What?” he asked. 

“Nothing,” I replied, “Well, I guess I’m just surprised.”

Loki read my mind, “In the manner things played out? I must admit, I am surprised by this myself.”

I shook my head, “It’s normal. For you... Anyone else, really. I have a curse or an ability. When I was young I was forcibly given a serum that creates a pheromone that causes an irresistible attraction towards me.”

“I knew you were special, but even regardless of that, you are special because you were created for me.” He nodded, knowingly. 

I glanced at him, surprised, “How do you mean?”

“You saw my skin change to blue, my red eyes-- the lines upon my skin. I am part Jotun-- something I can explain more later. Without any control, my true mate will force me into Jotun form without my consent. Something that will not placate until my sexual needs and union with the mate is fulfilled.” 

I was speechless. I needed time to process this. 

After a few moments of silence, Loki muttered, “Mushrooms.”

“Huh?” 

“Mushroom stew. A writer friend of mine recently taught me how to make it.”

“Oh-- uh, cool,” I responded, confused and unimpressed.

“Are you hungry? I am completely famished. I’ll make it for us.” He looked at me, his green eyes shining like stars in the dark. It took me a moment to realize he was waiting for me to say something. 

 I smiled, it was evident he wanted things to work. “Sure, Loki, that sounds delicious.”

“Perfect.” He bent his neck, his face coming towards me and he placed a shy kiss on my lips. 

***** Hope you all enjoyed this and it made you slide to the edge of your seat! There is so much about this one I am proud of, and I cannot wait to hear your thoughts! Send me an ask or leave me a comment and like and reblog! It is the most helpful thing you can do. 

If you would like to be on the Taglist please send me an ASK.  Until next time,  Loki’s Pet Tiger

[suicidalcatz]

DOG DAYS ARE OVER : CHAP 16

Pairing : Jake Kiszka x reader

Genre : College AU

Previous parts : Prologue ; chap 1 ; chap 2 ; chap 3 ; chap 4 ; chap 5 ; chap 6 ; chap 7 ; chap 8 ; chap 9 ; chap 10 ; chap 11 ; chap 12 ; chap 13 ; chap 14 ; chap 15

Masterlist : here

AN : Hi! Sorry I’m a bit late! Is this... the last chapter ? Oh my God. There will be an epilogue, too ! So in this chapter, there’s a misunderstanding and- I can’t tell eheh. Please feel free to tell me what you think about it because I sure had trouble writing this one. Thank you all for the love and support !

Chapter 16 : I do

Sooner than we thought, a consequent amount of work fell on all of us, preventing us from seeing each other. And like that, days went by... and then weeks. January had been a harsh month for everybody. A few teachers were late on their program so we had to learn more, write faster. Meanwhile others just enjoyed watching us suffer and kept giving more homework, letting us witness with horror how it piled up in a corner of our room like an insatiable monster that kept growing and growing. Those were the dark times. It became impossible for us to even have lunch together. Tensions began to rise. Josh was irritable because his singing teacher was a jerk to him. Mandy kept skipping more and more classes, running everywhere in town to find clothes. Jake, completely depressed, looked like a character from Corpse Bride, and not a pretty one. As for me, I was a mix of all of them. Living with Mandy has for the first time proven to have its downsides, as her stress was rubbing off on me, while my annoyance to some of my failed assignments got to her nerves too. The boys were no exception, and we had a perfect example of it during a lecture, when Josh snapped at the teacher after she made a snark comment about his last grade. All heads turned to him, even ours, and with a mix of shame and anger, he took his bag and slammed the door behind himself without a word. In retrospect, it had been so fucking cool, although a bit rude considering he didn't have to talk to her like that even with her sly remark... But the way he just told her off, took his belongings and proudly yet bitterly exited the amphitheater was one of the highlights of this year, goddamn the boy had balls.

One of the things that really helped me get through this horrible period was Greta Van Fleet's album on shuffle on my earphones accompanying me during my days in the workshop. And then one day around 2pm we all received a text from Josh.

« If we don't go drinking tonight I swear I will explode, I'm already having nervous breakdowns every week, I need to get out of this school, let's meet at 8 »

Well, the message couldn't be clearer than that, could it ? And my phone vibrated multiple times when the others replied, showing some « Thank God » and « Please let's » on the screen before I discreetly put it back inside my pocket. It had been the first time we went to the bar as a group, with Sam and Danny. And somehow, because we spent a pleasant night together without coming home too late or too drunk, we simultaneously thought it'd be a good idea to reiterate the experience. At least once a week, sometimes every day, we met at the café, occasionally bringing work with us and helping each other. It was close to our school thus convenient, but still far enough to allow us to take a breath of fresh air and think of something else for a while. Most of the time, it was deserted, the only few patrons that came to drink their coffee being regulars, and we enjoyed the calm, even if we were noisy ourselves. Sometimes, Mandy was too busy to come, sometimes it was Sam, so it happened that Danny and I were the only ones being here, or just the twins, but it didn't really matter, there was always one of us here and the others could always come to meet. Josh's idea had help us clear our minds and we were all thankful for that. What I wasn't thankful for, on the other hand, was the way his loud mouth spoke freely about things that didn't concern him at all, least of all Sam and Danny. Of course, he talked about the Jake situation. At first I was outraged and even slapped him on the arm, to which he just shrugged, explaining his brother was always late anyway, so we could talk about it. As if that was the issue here ! But as time went by, I calmed down. Sam and Danny already knew, having noticed but not wanting to adress the elephant in the room. Now that the subject had been thrown on the table though, it was different, and if at first Sam's awful comments about how we were both taking our sweet time pissed me off, now we discussed it quietly, confessing my thoughts and feelings in exchange for some advices.

Today was one of those days. The gang was reunited, sitting across a small round table after a tiring day, clinking glasses and chatting loudly, everybody cutting each other off during spicy topics that constantly created heated arguments. Mandy and Sam's bickering never failed to amuse us, with me falling back againt the couch laughing, Josh having climbed on a chair to yell over them in a dramatic manner, and Danny commenting their arguments with a sportscaster voice while they just pointed angrily at each other. It happened once or twice (make it thrice or fourth) now that the bartender had to come to our table to make us cool down, threatening to kick us out if we didn't, because he couldn't even hear the damn radio. Today, like any other day, the only one missing was Jake, fashionably late as always.

- You guys never agree on anything, that's frankly amazing, I said while wipping a tear from the corner of my eye.

Two murderous glare were instantly directed at me, dead serious, like their constant quarelling wasn't something you could take lightly. Of course, they never was any sort of resentment between them, it was more like a game that was entirely theirs. Mandy knew Sam liked to tease her to no end, and the boy never took the words she threw his way to heart. They were never hurtful anyway, they would always make sure of that.

- You know what they say..., announced Josh while taking a sip of his beer, love always starts with hatred.

- Nobody says that..., muttered a perplexed Danny.

However his confusion got rapidly interupted by Sam and Mandy's shouting, barking at Josh telling him how wrong he was about them while the curly boy smiled through his glass.

- I'd rather die, said my roommie.

- That should be my line, replied Sam.

Josh and I exchanged a mischevious and knowing glance that unfortunately didn't go unnoticed by his little brother. The long haired boy made a show of putting both elbows on the table before a devilish smile spread on his lips. Uh-oh.

- Speaking of which, how's Jakey ?

Admiring the way my cheeks grew red at the mention of the object of my affection, he patiently waited for my stuttering to stop while Mandy took side with him, adopting the same posture. Sitting between them, Danny comically raised his eyebrows, knowing damn well they'll torture me to no end, like they took the habit to do when Jake wasn't around. Of course Josh ignored my pleading eyes, enjoying where the conversation was going.

- You should know, you're his brother.

My reply was weak and didn't hide how bashful the subject made me, more reasons for him to pursue it.

- Come on, Mandy told me about the kiss of the century, there's no way nothing happened after that !

- For someone who claims Sam's a pain in the ass you guys are awfully close !, I exclaimed while watching her with an expression of fake betrayal.

- Hey, don't try to change the topic.

A long and loud sigh made its way out of my throat and my eyes were suddenly too absorbed by the bubbles of my soda spiralling to the surface to meet their expectant gazes. God why was it such a big thing to them ? Their fascination for my love life was starting to upset me, especially since it was a lost cause. There was really no reason to dwell upon it. Would they ever drop it ?

- Nothing happened between Jake and I. What do you want me to tell you ? It was just a kiss between friends, it doesn't mean anything.

At that, I felt my chest constrict. It didn't mean anything... for Jake, that is. For me, however... All of them suddenly went awfully quiet, in a very uncharacteristic manner. My head raised in surprise at their abrupt silence, only to be greeted by Jake's gaze on me, standing in front of our table. He must've been waiting for his chance to say hello all the while stepping on a conversation he wasn't meant to hear. My face must've lost all of its colors, and a glance around me confirmed what I feared ; judging by their awkward behaviours, Jake had heard. The boy cleared his throat, showing a toothy smile to the lot of us.

- Hi guys, whatcha talking about ?

During the few seconds he stayed with his back facing us to get a chair, we were all exchanging shocked and confused glances, mouthing hurried words to each other. Was he pretending he didn't  hear anything I said ? Did he genuinely not hear our conversation ? However much I pondered about it, and tried relentlessly to think of all the possibilities that could've happened just now, I was at a loss, it was no use. The only thing to do was to go along and play his game, pretending he hadn't just walked on us gossiping about him. It was so awkward. Danny and Josh were the first to bring a new and funny topic, throwing jokes his way, studying his reaction. They immediately put him at ease, inviting Sam and Mandy to the masquerade, effectively hiding their uneasiness for his and my sake. It wasn't working on me, though. I sank into the couch, feeling incredibly shameful. And the few times I tried to react to the conversation at hands, I saw Jake avoid my eyes. Fuck.

I would lie if I said what happened at the bar wasn't playing on loop on my mind. It had been impossible for me to read Jake's brown eyes when he interrupted us, but there was absolutely no doubt that the boy heard us. Maybe it was for the best. I was the one pretending we were just friends anyway, so it wouldn't change anything... except now that he was single a part of me couldn't help but hope I had a chance with him... until now. Because if I was sure of one thing at the moment, it's that Jake was certain I only saw him as a friend. Why was I so unlucky anyway ? Did I offend God in a previous life ?! Man, it was harsh... Just when I had a feeling things could evolve between us, everything got in the way. Work, misunderstandings, my stupidity... On the bright side, I was so thankful I didn't say anything shameful. Because I could've told an awful lot of those. And for nothing in the world I wanted him to walk in when I was making a speech about the soft gleaming of his scar under the sun, or the roundness of his ass. I would forever thank my ability to always find a way to relativise, even during a crisis like this one.

Another person with the same quality was Josh, on top of being a really observant boy, and a good friend. So it was no surprise to me when he nudged my arm during a lecture and leaned into my ear to ask if he could come over after school.

- You know you're always welcome, I whispered back.

Josh smiled a me, and the exchange between us should've ended right here, but I saw his eyes gaze at something behind me, his smile changing into a smirk. He must've caught me notice it because he turned to his notebook again, playing innocent. My head jerked into Jake's direction, studying his stiff figure and furrowed brows. What the hell were they playing at ?

During the few days that followed that incident at the bar, I didn't get any answers to that question. The twins kept exchanging glances whenever I was near one or the other, and the more days passed the more moody Jake looked. I had tried to text him several times during the week, making small talk, asking what he was up to, and sharing silly anecdotes, only to be faced with cold answers. It was like talking to a wall. Something was upsetting him, but I had no way to know if it was school related, because of Josh's behaviour, or if I was the cause of it.

It was friday night when Danny slammed open the café door, causing the bartender to scowl, before completely ignoring him to look for us through the small crowd, hurriedly coming to our table. The drummer threw himself on the couch next to Mandy, looking out of breath but over-excited. And while his happy yet sweaty face made me question him, it only took a simple look for his bandmates to know what was going on. Sam was the first to exclaim and jump on his feet, almost toppling the table with his thighs, making the glasses clink dangerously.

- Are you serious?!

Still out of breath, Danny nodded, interrupting his heavy panting to gulp down the beer Jake was offering him. Josh and him were the next to understand.

- Really ?!

- Okay what is going on, should we be excited to ?, asked Mandy who was sheltering her drink in case anyone else wanted to try and knock over their table.

The drummer raised a finger our direction, indicating he needed some more time to recover from his sprint, removing his scarf in the process. His face was beet red, and although he looked like he was the most athletic of the group, I got slightly concerned he was about to die. He must've ran a long distance real fast, and judging by our friends' hysteria and high-fives, the news were good.

- Greta Van Fleet is playing tomorrow night at O'Malley's.

He let it all out in one go but the words were cristal clear, and now it was Mandy and I's turn to cheer and applaud loudly, congratulating the boys and clinking our glasses together, already chatting about the event before a threatening « Shut up ! » came from another table.

- It's so great you guys ! But are you ready ? Tomorrow night is a bit...

Josh shrugged away my concerns, placing an arm around my shoulder, speaking with his hands.

- Not at all, doll, we're more than ready. In fact we wanted to play there for a while, but the place's always packed.

- Someone cancelled their show at the last minute, so Danny got to negociate, interrupted Jake to sum things up.

Despite the general enthusiasm around the table, I didn't miss the look Jake gave to Josh's hand resting on my shoulder. The boys all nodded, Sam ruffling Danny's hair while congratulating him for his hard work and perseverance. Everyone agreed to buy him drinks to thank him, ignoring his shy protests and rosy cheeks at all the praise. Without even being a member of their band, Mandy and I shared their excitement, already asking what the setlist would be and bargaining with Josh when he insisted that it was a secret. The O'Malley was an Irish pub, like you could guess by their name, located by the docks. Which only meant one thing : it was crazy popular among students. Not only from our campus, but another art school rivaling ours. To be honest the teachers were the ones competing, as us students from both universities often met and hung out together. A lot of them came to our festivals and events, thus becoming friends with us. We let them come to our parties, and they never forgot to invite us over for theirs. Greta Van Fleet playing at the O'Malley on a Saturday night would no doubt be a huge step forward for the boys' band. I could sense the doors of success were already waiting for them to push them open.

The boys rehearsed all day long Saturday, waking up before dawn and arriving early to set everything up and properly meet the owner of the bar. Pictures were sent to our groupchat, Sam explaining that the staff had thanked them for their availability, relieved that they quickly found another band to replace the one who couldn't attend. Mandy and I chose to come early too, arriving one hour before the show and already having trouble finding a seat through the sea of students occupying every inch of space available. Whereas it was because they were taking shelter from the cold, or because their feet ached from standing in the cold didn't matter to the boys, who were delighted to welcome with open arms the newcomers and introduce them to their music. It helped that the word had spread super fast on campus too, with Jake's post on the school's Facebook page. Nursing my beer next to Mandy at the far end of the bar, I recognized the girls from the other time, the night we had our Christmas party, chatting to their girl friends, standing in front of the stage. When the boys got in to set up their instruments, I saw them salute the band, shaking hands and exchanging friendly words with Josh while Jake didn't bother giving them more than a glance and a nod before turning back to his guitar, causing me to snort behind my glass. Mandy was quick to notice that.

- Well aren't you a sneaky little one.

- I don't know what you're talking about.

Paying for her cocktail and putting her change back in her purse, she adopted my posture, back resting against the bar, drink in hand, eyes to the stage. Wearing a black and gold fringe jacket, Jake was focusing on his guitar, tuning it with great care, pick stuck between his lips, the ring I offered him gleaming under the spotlights. Onstage, he looked out of this world, unattainable.

- You know they stand no chance, said Mandy.

It caught me off-guard. But did they ? I looked their way, observing their pretty faces, skin glowing with light makeup, batting their eyelashes, bracelets clinking against one another, long fingers playing with silk strands of hair. A part of me knew Mandy was right and that they couldn't replace me. But then again, incertitude argued that it was my ego talking, and that my confidence was misplaced. With Jake giving me the cold shoulder, I wasn't able to look at the situation with a fair point of view, and Mandy's opinion was made unrelevant by the simple fact that she was my friend. And one thing I knew for sure was that friends were biased, because they loved you. I chose to change the topic.

- What about you and Sam ?

- I don't know what you're talking about, she mimicked.

To make sure my stern look was effective, I turned to her completely, resting an elbow on the bar, while she comically took a long sip of her cocktail, avoiding my eyes, making me smile before I turned to face the stage once more. All barstools and chairs were taken, much to our inconvenience, and shifting from one foot to the other was the only thing I found to release some of the soreness.

- I saw you holding hands under the table.

She gasped audibly before giving me a death stare that just fueled my laughter. There was no way I didn't notice their act, and I was quite certain the others did too, but chose to ignore it. Which by the way was unfair since the lot of them commented my love life like it was a soap opera. However Mandy didn't have the time to give me a proper answer, cut off by Josh's words into the mic, greeting the crowd and announcing the show was about to start.

If anything, their second time playing was even better than the first one. The boys were on fire. Each member had their time to shine in the form of a solo, Josh being his charming self in the meantime, playing with the crowd and blowing kisses our way. They played some covers, encouraging everybody to sing along, but also songs we never heard before, that weren't on the album. One of them in particular allowing Jake to show off the extent of his guitar skills. He blew me away. Expression serious, toned skin glistening with sweat under the blue lights, while Josh's tambourine and melancholic cries accompanied the torturous sounds of his guitar. There was something special about this one, that made my chest constrict due to several emotions contradicting themselves at the same time, causing a turmoil within me. Intrigued by their music or just in need of a drink, several people came into the bar that night, packing the place with new faces, all of them staying for the amazing show the boys were providing for us. By the time they finished, I had long forgotten about my aching feet, instead welcoming the boys in a tight hug, complimenting and congratulating them. Mandy and I already had their beers ready, before anyone else could cut the ground from under our feet. Not that there was anything wrong with people buying them drinks, it was always a very nice thing to do, we just wanted to be the first ones to do it, at least for tonight. They were our friends, so it only seemed fair.

- Here.

Handing Jake his beer, I took a good look at his content face, smile plastered on his lips and moist strands of brown hair sticking to his forehead. He looked gorgeous, at peace and proud of himself and his band. Some people offered them drinks, like we thought they'd do, students came talking to them, to make small chat or to congratulate them. The boys took their time before packing up, talking and laughing with us, their enthusiasm contagious. When closing, the bartender even invited us all to stay inside and have a chat, drinks on the house. It felt incredibly nice to be able to stay here while everybody else had to leave, even the few girls still talking with Jake. Now I'm not gonna lie I might have directed a smile or two their way when the bartender closed the door behind them...

Going back to the dorms was... not an easy task to say the least. We had to call a cab, but as we couldn't all fit in it, we split teams, the most important thing being their music instruments. But even before that... Danny's drumkit was heavy as hell, the boys were tipsy enough to be clumsy and numerous times their instruments threatened to slip and drop on the hard conrete. And even if he was the only one who didn't need to carry anything at all, Josh was completely wasted, singing loud gibberish nonsense, waking up the dogs and barking back at them, removing his shoes and throwing them to trees... Man he was so out of control when drunk even the 5 of us couldn't properly babysit him. It made me realize it was the first time I was sober when he wasn't. And I didn't dare imagine how we must've wreaked havoc the night we brought back the couch to our dorm. Of all of us, Jake once more proved that he was the most serious and reasonable. It wasn't much of a surprise, actually. From what I knew, in situations that required seriousness, the brunette had always been this composed, level-headed boy. I loved that about him, his ability to remain remarkably quiet, then go crazy all of a sudden, before returning to his peaceful self. Josh's shoes in hand, a smile tugged at the corners of my lips when I saw Jake giving his brother a piggy back ride, moved by the fond scene in front of my eyes.

When the cab finally reached our school, Danny and Sam were waiting for us sitting on cases, explaining Josh had forgotten to hand them the key to their door. Since he was the one who didn't need to transport anything, it was only fair he at least took care of the keys in case they'd got lost in a guitar case or whatnot. I couldn't help but think we looked like a bunch of burglars, when everybody started muttering at the same time and hushing each other in the dark of the night. Mandy yawned, waiting to kiss them goodnight to go to sleep, and Jake sighed, defeated.

- Okay Josh, give me the keys.

Once again carrying his twin on his back, the long haired boy nudged his sleepy cheek with his shoulder to wake him up, not minding the drool on his jacket. Mandy couldn't contain a cute noise when Josh turned his head to get more comfortable in his brother's back, making Jake snort in the process.

- Just drop him, suggested Sam right before Danny elbowed him.

He really could've, to wake him up, but it seemed like Jake didn't have the heart to shake him out of his peaceful drowse. More abruptly, he shook his shoulder, causing Josh to whine.

- What, he groaned.

- We're in front of the dorms, give me the keys.

There was a silence during which Josh sighed, taking his time to process what his brother was asking, unfazed by Sam's complaints. The boy rubbed his eyes, sliding an arm in Jake's back to comfortably put his head against it. I could tell he was beginning to feel heavy, because Jake's hold on him slipped more and more frequently and he had to give him a small but strong push to get him back into place.

- What keys, he finally said.

Mandy and I exchanged a glance, one of those that said « Shit's about to go down », and Danny's face lit up with concern. You could see he already had the worst case scenario figured in his mind and was imagining them sleeping in the school's park.

- What do you mean you-

- Sam, Jake warned him. Josh, remember, we told you to take the keys to our rooms so we don't put them by mistake in one of the cases.

- No you didn't.

He was now perfectly awake, shaken by the confusing accusations, and got off of Jake's back, stumbling a bit, probably because his legs must felt numb after being carried around for a long period of time. Sam got up too, not amused by the situation. He was cold, he was tired, and he still had a lot of shit to lift on the stairs and if possible he wanted to be done with it before dawn.

- Yes we did !, the bassist said with his arms raised in the air.

- Yeah, we did, Danny assured him when Josh's gaze found his face for some sort of confirmation.

Silence again. Somehow, Mandy and I didn't dare to watch them. It remembered me of those situations when parents are having a fight and then turn to you... and start finding every excuse they can to yell at you even though you've done nothing. Well... Let's say we tried to summon our inner chameleons while they all started to get pissed at Josh. It was kind of awkward and we couldn't find a good time to leave. Besides, we couldn't let them sleep under the stars.

- Why don't you sleep at ours for tonight ? You'll return to the O'Malley tomorrow and ask them about the keys.

It was the most Mandy thing I ever said since we met the guys, but it was the only solution right now. It took us another hour to climb the stairs with all those heavy and big instruments cases, probably waking up half of the dorm in the process, but it felt so good to be home. The room was warm, and the bed was calling me. The first thing Josh did was to dive head first onto the couch without even taking the time to remove his coat, and fell asleep almost immediately, pulling the blanket on him (more like letting it fall on his body). Sitting around the kitchen table, we all had a hot cup of tea/coffee to warm us up and get some of the alcohol out of our system. Danny was the first one to word his concern about the bedding.

- It's really nice you girls allow us to sleep here for the night, he shyly said, but...

His big hands were entirely covering his mug, enjoying its warmth, thumb caressing the edge of it, thinking of a good way to phrase it. An embarrassed look was adorning his features, which I couldn't help but find endearing.

- There's no room for six... is it ?

- You're right, Jake said. Maybe I should stay awake ?

I didn't know if it was a rhetorical question or if he was being serious but there was no way anybody stayed awake while the others were asleep. First of all, it was creepy. But above all, it wasn't fair. Thinking hard, I let a hand run through my hair, ruffling the locks in its passage.

- Oh, Mandy I think there's an airmat under your bed ! There, two down, four more to go. Let's see...

- We just have to share beds, suddenly said Sam.

All heads turned to him, and the boy put his cup on the table, shrugging.

- What ? It's the easy solution. There are two big beds in the room, don't tell me nobody thought about it. What do you think, Jake ?

His cough was so loud he spilled his drink everywhere on his hands, color leaving then regaining his face alternaly. Standing up to lay his empty cup in the sink, Sam patted his back, wicked smile on his face.

- Then it's settled. Let's go, Mandy.

Oh you sneaky son of a...

I should've seen this coming. I should've known better. Of course Sam would do something like that, it was so him, I couldn't believe I let my guard down like that. And his little act with Mandy, pretending they didn't like each other and then snuggling in bed, ah, I hated my friends. The sadistic bastard even got Danny to play along in his three years plan to make my life miserable.

It was uncomfortably silent for a room filled with six young adults, our breathing being the only noise audible. With the halfway closed curtains, the dim light was dark enough for us to distinguish forms and silhouettes painted in different shades of blue and grey. Sometimes, the sound of a cover brushing against the mattress will get me out of my thoughts, other times it will be Josh's sleep talking or Danny's serene snoring. Sam had lied. The bed wasn't big at all. It was cramped, at best, and I couldn't calm down at all. Jake's warmth was suffocating, my thumping heart wouldn't slow down, and I was over conscious of every little thing he was doing. My throat instinctively tried to swallow the lump residing there when I felt the covers ruffling on my skin, Jake's hot breath now brushing my neck.

- Can't sleep ?

His husky voice whispering in my ear caused an uncontrollable shiver to run down my spine. Each of his breathes awoke goosebumps on my skin, covering their path like grass would grow after the rain. It always amazed me, the power he had over me, without even realizing it. Just two words murmured in the crook of my neck and my body was almost trembling already. As my voice was caught in my throat, my body reacted on its own and I shook my head slightly, enough for him to notice. Jake sighed. I could hear him rustling and moving behind me, careful not to touch me and not knowing what to do with his long arms.

- Did you mean it ?, he said after a while.

Furrowing my brows in confusion wasn't going to work, so I turned to face him, both lying on our side to look at each other in the dark. I could only see the shadows of his face, but by now my eyes were accustomed enough to distinguish his expressions more clearly. Jake swallowed hard, gaze focusing on anything but my eyes, looking... confused and rather saddened, discouraged.

- What you said at the bar.

At the bar... My brain had trouble seeing where he was going, but my body must've sensed it on instinct because my heart started pounding madly, as if wanting to warn me of what was coming. Suddenly brave enough to face me, Jake's eyes stared into mine, intense yet unsure.

- Do you only see me as a friend... ?

Unable to run away, I had to face him, and answer him. My voice was still caught in my throat, and my palms were getting sweaty. Jake was dead serious. So much that I thought for a second I was dreaming. His eyes weren't leaving mine, I had to answer. But what was the good thing to say ? What would I do if I told him the truth and he only saw me as a friend ? From my perspective he led me into thinking there might be more but... My feelings for him were blurring everything. And if I lied... and he wanted to be more than friends... Then I'd lose him.

- Jake...

- Because I really want to kiss you right now.

His hand hovered above my head, fingers carefully rustling my hair, pushing some strands behind my ear and brushing my cheek. His eyes, half-lidded and gaze burning, were following every inch his digits traced on my skin. Carefully, Jake's thumb came caressing my lower lip, slowly, painfully so, admiring how soft it felt against his finger, parting it slightly from its twin. A ragged breath escaped from them, and his eyes found mine again, dying to get permission. Shyly, my shaky hand gripped his shirt, pulling it close. It was the only thing he needed to lose all control, and he swiftly straddled my hips, framing my head with his arms, before ghosting his lips over mine. My mind was foggy, and my brain couldn't understand anything anymore, all I knew was that I had waited for this for so long, I didn't want to waste any more time now. Arms snaking around Jake's neck, I closed the distance separating us, the soft and awaited contact causing us to sigh in unison. It felt so good, both inside and out. His plump lips captured mine with a mixture of longing and hunger, while my heart was about to burst from happinness. With confidence, I embraced him more, pulling him closer to me, biting his lip and admiring the way it made him gasp, feeling his shaky fingers hesitating to touch me, like he was under some kind of delirium tremens and I was the fantasy haunting his nights. It only made me want him more. Never once did he try to touch me in a way that I wasn't ready for yet, keeping it chaste, and I'll forever be thankful for that. It seemed like we both had silently agreed to take our time, but I couldn't concentrate on that right now. Not when Jake's tongue was licking my lips, taking my lower one between his teeth to playfully chew on it, making me pant, fingers lost in his long brown hair. There was a sense of urgence to this kiss, of need even, like he had been waiting for it for so long he couldn't refrain himself anymore. The mere thought of it made me hot. Eventually, we cooled down, and Jake stayed on top of me, leaning on his arms, covering my face with soft kisses, the sound of them resonating in the room. We looked at each other for a while, and I couldn't stop a bubbly giggle, making him chuckle too.

- Fuck... I had thought about this moment for so long, his raspy voice murmured.

- Me too.

- I always thought you liked Josh better.

So that was what it was about, all those past days... Josh upsetting Jake on purpose because he was jealous. What a brat, I couldn’t believe them, so silly.

- Dummy. I think I like you.

My voice was almost inaudible, barely a whisper. It made me blush, but now it was out, and it felt so good to get rid of this weight. Jake nuzzled my neck, taking in my scent, tickling me.

- You think ?

I could tell he was as embarrassed as me, and probably not as confident as he looked, because his cheeks were burning hot, and he wouldn't face me. Against my chest, the accelerated beating of his heart was so loud it seemed like it was communicating with mine.

- No, I said. I'm sure.

Slouching against me in a relieved manner, the boy let out a sigh that burned my skin, before shifting to comfortably rest his chin on my chest, facing me with a smile on his face.

- Good. Because I do too.

Even in the dark, I could see the way his cheeks were a darker shade of gray than the rest of his features. Jake liked me. A huge wave of joy went through my body, overcoming me with both delight and relief. There was no words I could put on this sensation. Suddenly, it was like every other problem in the world had faded away, and I finally understood Edith Piaf's La Vie En Rose. Being in his arms, lying against one another, skin against skin, everything finally made sense.

- Come here, I whispered.

We kissed again, playful and teasing, barely containing our excited giggles.

- Shut up !!

Sam's pillow came flying our way, quickly followed by Josh, Mandy, and Danny's.

- Fucking date already !

- So annoying, people are trying to sleep !

More cushions came crashing down on our bed, making us laugh for real this time, as Jake took them in his hands to fight back. Soon, shouting, laughter and feathers filled the room, as the sun was beginning to appear in the clear sky of February. And as we were all screaming and throwing pillows at each other, I couldn't help but smile, and exchange warm glances with Jake.

Yeah, with him by my side, everything's going to be just fine.

[vino-and-doggos]

Cheers to the New Year

Read on AO3  |  Written for @lilbreadbun

Rated: G

Words: 2201

Summary: Just returned from active duty, Roy Mustang is bartending his Aunt Chris's karaoke holiday party at the bar. A beautiful blonde takes the stage and her voice puts Roy under a spell. If only it weren't too good to be true.

Happy holidays, @lilbreadbun, from your Secret Santa!! This is something that I’ve wanted to write for a very long time, so thank you for giving me the opportunity to write it! I hope you enjoy <3

~

Bah humbug, Roy thought to himself. Half his mind was joking, but the other half was dead serious. 

It wasn’t that he hated Christmas — he used to love the holiday, in fact. It was more that he couldn’t enjoy the holiday anymore. Fake trees and pre-packaged holiday sweets reminded him too much of Maes, a man for whom even Ebenezer Scrooge would have emptied his coffers in pursuit of the perfect Christmas present. He sighed and put down another dry glass on the rubber mat behind the bar.

Roy looked at the dark wooden interior surrounding him and had to stop himself just short of rolling his eyes at the tacky — yet festive, his sisters assured him — decorations that littered the bar. Tinsel trees shoved into corners and ornaments hung from the ceiling left remnants of glitter on every flat surface. Lights were strung everywhere, casting the bar in an odd, multicolored glow.

Because of course, a bar called Christmas Cheers had to go out for the holiday of its namesake, right?

The biggest problem was, in Roy’s opinion, that it attracted the now-college age people that he went to high school with who were home on winter break. It was cute and kitschy and Instagrammable or Snapchattable. Life was not designed to be lived through the screen of a smartphone or viewed through filters. And those that desired to do so did nothing but grate on Roy’s last nerve. 

There was a reason Roy lost contact with his friends from high school when he joined the military, and frankly, he had no interest in trying to reconnect. He would take the group chat with the friends he made while deployed over the flesh and blood frenemies who dropped him for enlisting any day.

Glancing at the clock, he let out a groan. Only half an hour until they opened.

“I don’t wanna hear that, Roy-Boy,” he heard a gravelly voice say from around the corner. 

Roy really did roll his eyes this time, but now it was a gesture in quasi prayer to Someone-he-wasn’t-even-sure-existed to grant him patience. Because if he was given strength, he surely was going to hurt someone before the night was over.

“I’m sorry, Aunt Chris. I’m just really not looking forward to this. I can usually handle normal nights, but karaoke? It’s going to bring in every screeching college girl in the tri-county area. You’re lucky that you’re friends with the DA and that the cops don’t police this place for underage drinking, because this stunt is going to -”

“Cut it out, Roy,” Chris said exasperatedly. “Your melodrama isn’t going to help you get through the night. Yes, there will most likely be underage college kids here trying to drink tonight. Luckily, though, I have a really good bartender,” she emphasized while motioning to him, “who knows how to properly check IDs.”

He grumbled, “That doesn’t stop their of-age friends from buying drinks for them.”

“Seriously. If you’re going to be like this all night, go and wallow in your room, Roy. I understand you’re grieving, and you’re working through your tour overseas. I want to support you the best I can, but this is also my business. If you’re not going to be full of Christmas Cheer tonight -” Roy rolled his eyes again - “then I’ll ask one of your sisters to bartend.”

“No,” he replied, a tone of longing edging into his voice, almost as though he wanted her to do just that. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”

He turned back to the bar and began prepping lemons, limes, and oranges, but he couldn’t help but smile when he heard his aunt mumble, “Who knows. Maybe you’ll meet someone tonight.”

Roy had to admire her optimism, if nothing else.

~

“Hey man, can I get two beers?” a kid with jet-black hair pulled back into a ponytail shouted over the music. Behind him stood a short blond with long hair who had a smug grin on his face. 

“Just need to see some ID first,” Roy said back over the dulcet tones of a curvy brunette with pouty red lips murdering “Total Eclipse of the Heart.”

Who the hell sings this at karaoke? Roy pondered.

“Aww, come on, we’re legal,” the blond said, his voice lilting with the cadence of someone trying to convince another of what they’re saying. And failing, miserably.

“I’m sure you are,” smiled Roy, “but I’m sorry, I have to see some ID for anyone who looks younger than 40.” He hesitated for a moment. “For both of you.”

“Oh, well, Ed. We tried!” the first kid laughed.

“Ling! You just busted us!” the one apparently named Ed yelled, smacking his friend on the shoulder. 

“Listen,” Roy started, “I’m feeling especially festive tonight, so I’ll let you stay and drink any non-alcoholic drink you want for free.”

The boys weighed their options by silently exchanging looks before Ling turned back to Roy.

“We’ll take two cokes — but can you put them in lowball glasses with drink stirrers?” Ling asked with an air of conspiracy.

“Sure thing, kid,” he chuckled, pulling out the soda gun. 

Right before he handed the drinks over, he stuck a lime on the rim of the glass. As he handed them over, the boys nodded in solidarity and thanks. Roy just smiled in return.

He turned to the far end of the bar, the end closest to the stage, to check on the patrons seated there. A few indicated refills, so Roy pulled out new glasses and started pouring. As he was pouring the perfect mug of beer, he heard the tell-tale clicks of a song with an a capella opening.

“Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame, darlin’ you give love a bad name!”

Huh. This chick wasn’t bad.

Roy walked the beer to the end of the bar, taking a moment to catch a glimpse of the small stage through the crowd. What he saw caused his jaw to drop.

A stunning blonde in a deliciously tight, yet simple, black t-shirt and a pair of jeans that looked as though they were painted on danced about the stage. Her loose hair fell just past her shoulders and swung around her rhythmically as she whirled around. She danced in a way that made it obvious that alcohol flowed through her system, but Roy didn’t remember serving her. The impressive part is that she actually was on-key and hitting the marks without staring at the screen. Bon Jovi’s melody blasted through the speakers, and the audience was eating it up.

“Ohhh, you’re a loaded gun…”

Damn. Roy shook his head and went back to refilling drinks. She was a siren, and he was not immune to her call. Over everything else, he continued hearing her voice singing the upbeat rock tune. He had to ask another patron what their order was three times before he finally understood what they were asking for.

The song ended with raucous applause and cheering. Mostly male, Roy noted, but many females sounding out their appreciation, as well. The DJ had to shout the name of the next singer repeatedly through the system before they approached the booth to grab the microphone. It was the wildest the bar had gotten all night.

However, the excitement was short-lived. The next singer (Roy thinks he heard the DJ call him Alex?) decided to sing Eric Clapton’s “Tears in Heaven.” Why can’t this crowd — with the exception of one — pick karaoke songs that are worth a damn?

Despite the current song filling the bar, Roy couldn’t get her out of his head. Her song rattled around in his brain, her voice continuing to envelop him in strains of familiar melody. Just then, he heard a female voice from behind him.

“Hey!” it exclaimed brightly.

He knew that voice.

Roy turned on his heel to meet the amber eyes of the best Bon Jovi impersonator he’d ever seen or heard waving at him with a sweet smile on her face. Her beautiful blonde hair was now tied back in a low ponytail, bangs still draped across her forehead; it was darker than he originally thought it was, more of a honeyed blonde. He decided to play it cool and nodded his head in acknowledgment.

“What can I get for you?” he asked, trying to make sure he was heard over the music, but also making sure his voice sounded smooth and rich.

“Just a water, please,” she responded, eyes shining in the incandescent holiday lights.

Roy chuckled deeply as he reached for a glass. “Singing take it out of you?”

“It always does,” she nodded, laughing in return.

“Always?” Roy questioned, barely registering that he had even spoken it aloud. “I’m sorry,” he started, waving his left hand and placing her water glass down with his right. “Is there anything else I can get you?”

“Nah, thanks though,” she winked.

He followed the head of blonde hair through the sea of people and sighed. 

She was so out of his league.

~

Hours later, the crowd was winding down. Only a few were left, and hardly anyone left was singing. The DJ announced last call for songs and the bar, wishing all a happy holiday season.

Roy had already started to clean as best he could behind the bar — bottles in their proper place, the beginnings of labels for the cooler — when he heard that voice again.

“Hey!” that same exclamation; that same intonation. He smiled as he faced her.

“I’m surprised I didn’t see you again,” he said, smirking.

“I had someone grab me water when they came up for their drinks,” she explained.

Huh. So that’s why he didn’t see her for the rest of the night. Wait a minute.

“You got up there and sang and danced like that completely sober?” he questioned.

His tone was light and teasing but with an underlying tone of awe and surprise.She laughed in response. Roy could have sworn that she made the room brighter. 

“Yup. My mother used to say that I’m a natural-born performer.”

“She was right,” he affirmed. “I’m Roy, by the way.”

“Riza,” she offered, extending her hand across the bar.

He took her hand, so soft and warm in his cold, calloused palm, and shook.

“I just wanted to say thanks for the fantastic service tonight. Many lesser bartenders would have lost their cool with the number of people in here, but we never waited long for drinks.” Riza smirked as she pulled a $20 bill out of her back pocket and slid it into the fishbowl that was acting as a tip jar.

“That’s way too generous; I can’t accept that,” Roy protested weakly. “You said just had water all night -”

“Don’t worry about it,” Riza interrupted, waving him off.

“Listen…” Roy started. “We have an event here on New Year’s Eve, too… Same kind of stuff as tonight, karaoke and drinks, but there’s also going to be a buffet with food… If you’re interested?” he trailed off hopefully.

“Oh, that sounds fun! I think I’ll still be in town then, but I’ll have to double-check. Will you be working?”

This was it. Take the chance, Roy.

“I was scheduled to, but I’m thinking about taking the evening off to enjoy the party.” Do it, Roy. Shoot your shot. “Would you be interested in coming with me?”

“Oh!” Riza said, a blush dusting across the bridge of her nose. “I - well, I’m - not really - um -”

The shot missed the target completely.

It was Roy’s turn to turn red. 

“Forget I said anything, I was just thinking that maybe we could... Oh my god, please, I’m sorry, just -” 

“Roy, stop, it’s fine,” Riza cut off his rambling. “I just didn’t quite know how to say…” She paused and inhaled. “I’m in a relationship.”

“I’m so sorry,” he said, and this much was true, in more ways than one. “I didn’t know.” Roy hoped that the earth would open up and swallow him. Right then.

“How could you?” she chuckled. “We just met.”

“Babe? Are you ready to go?” a voice sounded to Roy’s right. A decidedly feminine voice. 

He whipped around to see another blonde with waist-length hair the color of cornsilk. She stood by the door with a group of four or five others.

“Riza?” she prompted.

“Sorry, Liv, I’ll be right there,” Riza smiled before turning back to Roy. She extended her hand to him once more. “Friends?”

Smiling, he agreed. “Friends.”

Riza walked to the door and grabbed her coat from Liv. As she was walking out the door, she shouted over her shoulder, “See you on New Year’s Eve, Roy!”

Friends. He could do friends.

He smiled and started humming. He was almost to the chorus before he realized the tune was “Auld Lang Syne.”

He might have been shot down, but at least he wasn’t shot through the heart as Riza’s song might have suggested. There was an odd sense of hopefulness about him, though; a new year was coming. Sparing the whole “new year, new me” nonsense, Roy truly felt like the next year would bring about healing, hope, and friendship.

Bring it on.

[halfasleepoetry]

14.

it must have been sometime after seven in the evening, as dusk is settling into every nook and corner of the house, shadows getting heavier and longer and orange light bathes over exposed surfaces.

ben is sitting slouched down, his back at the wrong angle, and if he stays long enough like this both his back and his neck will kill him, but joe is sitting in the exact same position beside him, their bodies as if two parallel lines running beside each other, pressed close shoulder to shoulder, arm to arm, right to their sock-covered toes. he doesn’t want to move, and tells joe so. he can hear a chuckle. he glances to see the older man tilting his head slightly to shift his upper body a little, presumably making himself more comfortable. joe has his eyes closed the entire time, lips drawn into a slight smile. it does feel like they're pressed even closer to each other now.

ben wonders if they’re drunk from that bottle of wine that they didn’t plan on ordering over their early dinner, but did and finished it anyway.

not drunk, says joe. just light-headed.

ben looks straight and up now, suddenly finding the ceiling interesting. shadows continue to elongate and like a paradox, orange light burns alongside them. just light-headed, he repeats under his breath.

joe hums an affirmative, half sounding like a deep, satisfied sigh.

can i ask you something? in this space riddled with shifting shadows and burning lights, his own voice sounds alien to his ears.

mmhmm.

we are very close, i mean, we are super close, and i don't want you to think that i’m weird or anything—

his lips are suddenly so dry he has to lick them before he continues,

but, i’m just wondering if you have ever thought about—ben stops and bites his lower lip. he blinks once, twice, as if he had just lost his thought, or his breath, or both. the words are stuck in his throat and he couldn't go on. he isn't so sure now if he wants to go on. he blinks rapidly, cursing himself internally.

say it.

he curses inaudibly under his breath.

if you don’t now—

shut up.

say it, go on. ask him.

hey, benny.

ben almost jumps out of his skin when he hears joe calling his name.

your internal dialogue is so loud.

shit, fuck it.

so, are we or aren't we?

ben looks sideways at joe. are we what?

going to kiss.

bloody hell. ben's mouth is dry suddenly. he licks his lips again.

yes, we are.

it is as if someone else is speaking on his behalf. really? we are? yes we are, don't pretend to be an idiot. that was all you could think about all day long, for weeks and months now. it's kinda pathetic. it's not. and now, maybe we're going to kiss. sure, because that's the natural progression of being friends. what the fuck would you have me do, then?

joe is right. his internal dialogue is raging. he closes his eyes, bracing himself—for what?

good, i thought i might die from this tension, says joe, but ben almost misses it amidst all the loud bickering inside his head. 

so then, when he opens his eyes all he sees is joe—hazel eyes, long, narrow nose, pale skin, thin lips—cast in shadows like a period painting, and moving in on him, and oh, soft lips. joe tastes a little like red wine, but mostly of cinnamon and vanilla, spicy and sweet, like the dessert that they shared after dinner and his cologne mixed with something else—and scruff and stubble. so this is what it's like, kissing joe, and for a split second ben thinks his mind might go into clouding panic, realising that he is earnestly kissing a man this sober, kissing like he really means it, which he does. but this is joe, and joe is not just another man. how did that come about anyway? him thinking that it's perfectly okay to kiss joe? well, haven’t you had this playing over and over again in your mind for some time now?

ben—joe breaks the kiss momentarily and ben wants to know if the haze he sees in joe's eyes mirror his own, if he is the cause of that, if joe is also suddenly missing his lips, and if joe wants nothing else but to close the gap between them again—less thinking, please.

without missing a beat joe gets back to busying himself with ben's lips again, sucking on his lower lip, and suddenly there is really nothing else to think about anymore. from there onwards he doesn't think—absolutely doesn't think of anything when he runs his fingers up joe's neck into his dark copper hair, thumb resting just behind his ear, and his other hand somehow finds its way under joe’s maroon topman sweater, used to be ben's by the way, now is joe's; the most natural progression of a sweater's lifespan.

yesterday, my sweater, tomorrow, my heart; anything you fucking want, really, just name it, joseph, you can probably have all of it.

ben is still not doing any of this thing called thinking when he decides sucking and nibbling on joe's upper lip is not enough, there needs to be tongue involved now. their kiss deepens, heartbeats quickens, and then—there is almost an audible protest when joe pulls away again.

it takes two seconds for ben to realize that they’re still so close to each other he could literally move two inches forward and closes the gap again, that he has one hand under joe’s sweater, and joe has one hand in his hair—those perfect, long, bassist fingers—joe’s hazel eyes looking right into his eyes, heavy-lidded, glazed over and bright, like someone who is drunk and yet so alert at the same time, if that is even possible.

joe mutters something under his breath. maybe a curse word. ben takes that as a cue anyway and jumps right back into the kiss unthinkingly, because that’s what we’re doing right now, we’re not thinking, we’re just feeling, moving, pushing, pulling, pressing, kissing like there will never be another one after this; maybe when the dusk settles and night takes over, someone has to get up and switches on the lights in the room and all the confusion and magic in the moving shadows and dancing lights will disappear, and they will be just friends again, sharing laughter and comfortable silences on a couch four feet away from each other, nothing less, they will brush knuckles occasionally, throw long glances and smile at each other, sparks dancing in their eyes. they will find the other easily in any crowd and walk away together bumping shoulders, they will sit across each other and joe will talk animatedly for any amount of time and ben will listen, smoking his marlboro lights and nodding at all the right moments, throwing occasional jokes and punchline and joe will laugh at every single one of them, not forced, not exaggerated, because they get each other. they always do. time will pass, days, weeks, months, years, they might be miles away across the ocean from each other, they might be sitting together, knee bumping, in the same room; they will always be best friends. more than best friends. soulmates. always.

but right now, hidden in shadows, they’re kissing breathlessly, mingled gasps, hands in hair, fingers on skin, as if it’s the only thing validating their existence in the darkness that is near total. but dusk is fleeting, it’s that five-step long pathway from the gates of daylight to the house of the night, so try as anyone might to cling to it, it passes.

and this one passes when joe's phone rings.

the screen display lights up first, somebody to love playing loudly in the quiet living room. the phone vibrates in rhythm, moving slightly to the right on the coffee table across from the sofa. like a chirpy commercial break in the middle of a silent movie, its loudness is jarring and intrusive; it broke the spell of quietness and silently gasping breaths. joe is lying on his back on the sofa and ben on top of him, hands and legs and traces of making out fully clothed over a long hour of dusk everywhere on their messy hair and damp skin. silence and darkness no longer blanketing them, joe now looks at the ceiling, while ben puts his forehead on joe’s chest, very much aware that joe still has one hand in his now-longer, wavy blonde hair, while his own are on either side of joe, supporting his hovering weight.

ben looks up, and sideways. joe’s hand falls to his side. your phone, he says, as if it’s not obvious enough that the rectangular, thin device is screaming to be picked up. they’re looking at each other now, and for the second time in a space less than two hours, ben feels panic creeping in because it’s dark and he cannot see joe’s eyes clearly, and there’s nothing for him to read and he’s feeling a little lost here.

joe lets out a deep breath, looks up and starts getting up to sit up on the sofa. ben has no choice but to move away and sit up too. the room is almost completely dark except for light spilling from the large two panel glass that made up the northwest corner of the living room. joe is sitting with one leg folded on the sofa, facing ben and still looking at him. ben could see his eyes now, but they’re unreadable. so he looks away.

joe made a slight sound, like he’s clearing his throat. well, i’m fucked.

ben runs his hand through his hair now, wonders if that was a joke. a bad one.

i like kissing you. a pause. i feel like i’m going to get into so much trouble now.

what? are you thirteen? never made out with a guy before?

maybe i feel like one. joe is smiling now, ben can hear it in his voice, but he doesn’t want to look. and yes, i have. have you?

you’re more like five. ben can hear chuckling from the man beside him. i have. not sober, though. was he being too honest?

if i go and switch on the lights right now i bet you’re blushing.

well, i’m not.

okay, captain sassypants, joe starts to stand up and god knows why he does what he does but ben lunges at the older man and tackles him so that he falls back down on the sofa with a surprised gasp.

they are tangled limbs and messy hair again, warm, breathy, lips inches away from each other.

if you want to make out again you could've just ask nicely, you know.

shut up, joe.

and they kiss.

tags: @ssasakiiwrites, @oniriquex

[butthatsnotwhereminelives]

god i desperately want a miss americana music video just imagine it

it opens with a panning shot of a kind of dark, dystopian, post-apocalyptic high school, maybe with an 80s vibe like stranger things but in the upside down, wind blowing, the whole school is just wrecked and grey

that synth comes in at the beginning and taylor enters in a ripped up prom dress, kind of like in the safe and sound video, hair down, minimal make up, gazing around, rubbing her arms, cold and alone as she takes in the destruction

‘you know i adore you, i’m crazier for you’ - the camera comes in close to her face as she says the words like she’s not quite sure that she believes them anymore

‘than i was at 16, lost in a film scene’ - the camera pans back out except it’s now the past, everything is over saturated, crowds of beautiful teenagers, smiling with all their teeth

‘waving homecoming queens, marching band playing’ - cheerleaders wave like pageant queens, the camera moves to the marching band and taylor is in the middle of it, dressed like in ybwm, playing along

‘i’m lost in the lights’ - camera pans out to take in the whole scene, lights are strung up everywhere and they get brighter until they blind the whole screen

‘America glory faded before me’ - as the lights fade, everything is even more saturated but it’s just red white and blue now, everyone is dressed to the nines for prom, talking excitedly, there are a lot more people in red than blue

‘now i’m feeling hopeless, ripped up my prom dress’ - taylor is alone on the edge of the prom, watching the smiling crowd, she shakes her head and turns to run outside, ripping off the top layer of her blue skirt, a sleeve comes off with it, she tosses it to the side

‘running through rose thorns, i saw the scoreboard and ran for my life’ - the part of her prom dress she chucked aside lands in a bed of thorns and they gladly swallow it up, she looks back to the prom, purses her lips and runs into the night

‘No cameras catch my pageant smile, I counted days, I counted miles to see you there, to see you there’ - the camera moves with taylor as her feet pound the grass, her breaths coming faster, and she reaches the football field stands where she curls up underneath them, hugging her knees

‘It's been a long time coming’ - taylor’s face is bathed in red from the football scoreboard

‘it’s you and me, that’s my whole world’ - the scene blows away like ashes and reforms as a school hallway

‘they whisper in the hallway she’s a bad bad girl’ - the camera moves between everyone whispering, grinning, the lockers have blue paint peeling off them to reveal red underneath

‘you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes‘ - the homecoming/prom banner is up in the hallway, a king’s crown has been graffitied on it in red

‘the whole school is rolling fake dice’ - taylor walks up to a noticeboard, and it shows the votes for homecoming king/queen, one has a tonne more votes than the other, but the latter is still circled as the winner in red

‘it's you and me, there's nothing like this’ - taylor turns to her locker, yes it’s 117 like in her diary, but it’s been painted red sloppily, theres drips on the floor she steps in the paint

‘Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince‘ - taylor tries to get the paint off her shoes but she’s leaving red footprints, the whispers start to look like they’re being directed at her

‘we’re so sad we paint the town blue, voted most likely to run away with you’ - the colours fade from the image, and it’s just taylor alone walking down this decimated, ashy remnant of the hallway

‘my team is losing, battered and bruising’ - the scene fades away again, to the home of a student we saw in the hallway, she is crying as she looks at an exam score before starting another one, its 3 in the morning

‘I see the high fives between the bad guys, leave with my head hung’ - move to a student getting yelled at by a teacher, the teacher shoves him, hard, but he only cries when he leaves the room so that the teacher doesn’t see

‘you are the only one who seems to care’ - taylor sits alone playing guitar on the football stands

‘American stories burning before me‘ - a mother hugs the boy we saw getting abused by the teacher before sending him into school in the morning

‘im feeling helpless, the damsels are depressed’ - taylor stands alone in the library looking around, students including the girl we saw before are slaving away at their desks

‘boys will be boys then, where are the wise men?’ -  jocks the hallway outside the library, one of them is the boy we saw, a friend claps him on the back and he flinches

‘darling i’m scared‘ - taylor watches the boy flinch

‘no cameras catch my muffled cries, I counted days, I counted miles to see you there’ - the scene fades, and it’s people getting ready for prom, taylor watches as someone hangs up the american flag

‘now the storm is coming‘ - the strung up lights blind the screen again

‘it’s you and me, that’s my whole world’ - its the prom from the beginning, red white and blue, the girl we saw before grins mechanically as she dances

‘they whisper in the hallway she’s a bad bad girl’ - the boy we saw shakes the hand of the teacher, in front of others, smiling like a robot

‘you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes‘ - taylor stands at the edge, watching this play out

‘the whole school is rolling fake dice, it's you and me, there's nothing like this’ - they announce the homecoming king/queen

‘Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince‘ - the american flag falls down

‘OKAY’ -  the scene fades, the room is empty and grey

‘we’re so sad we paint the town blue, voted most likely to run away with you’ - taylor walks over to the american flag still lying on the floor, it’s charred but it’s the only thing still colourful in the room, she hangs it up

‘and i don’t want you to GO’ - scene fades, they’re on the football pitch from the beginning

‘i don’t really wanna FIGHT’ - the cheerleaders smile like robots, the girl is on top of the pyramid

‘cause nobody’s gonna win’ - the boy is on the football team, he’s slammed into by the opposing team

‘i think you should come home’ - taylor is playing band, everyone is playing enthusiastically except for her

‘and i don’t want you to GO, i don’t really wanna FIGHT’ - taylor gets out of the band formation, and runs off the pitch

‘cause nobody’s gonna win, i think you should come home’ - she runs toward the school, it’s on fire 

‘and i don’t want you to GO, i don’t really wanna FIGHT’ - taylor watches in shock as it burns while everyone else is pretending it’s okay

‘cause nobody’s gonna WIN’ - the cheerleaders echo around taylor, the camera pans around so the glow of the pitch is in frame

‘just thought you should know’ - the camera moves away from taylor’s face, and inside the burning school

‘and i’ll never let you GO’ - the red paint on the lockers burns off

‘cause i know this is a FIGHT’ - the homecoming banner with the graffiti falls down

‘that someday we’re gonna WIN’ - the camera rushes backwards out of the hall during the pause in the music

‘it’s you and me, that’s my whole world’ - the school slowly burns, and the fires fade out

‘they whisper in the hallway she’s a bad bad girl, you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes’ - it’s the same shot from the beginning, this is the dystopian landscape, the chaos in the background of the pretence

‘the whole school is rolling fake dice, it's you and me, there's nothing like this’ - taylor walks through the hallway, look at the burnt locker paint and charred fallen banner

‘Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince‘ - the shot from before; taylor walks into the hall and over to the american flag still lying on the floor, it’s charred but it’s the only thing still colourful in the room, she hangs it up

‘OKAY’ -  the cheerleaders are still chanting, taylor looks up as if remembering the past

‘we’re so sad we paint the town blue, voted most likely to run away with you’ - she walks out of the school, toward the pitch again, nothing is lit

‘and i don’t want you to GO, i don’t really wanna FIGHT’ - nothing is lit, the pitch is empty, but the chants of the cheerleaders still echo around the pitch

‘cause nobody’s gonna WIN’ - taylor picks up a cheer pom pom from the floor

‘just thought you should know’ - the girl we saw comes running onto the pitch, she sees taylor and falters ‘and i’ll never let you GO’ - taylor offers her the pom pom, the girl smiles and nods before running back

‘cause i know this is a FIGHT’ - taylor gazes after the girl, looking sad

‘that someday we’re gonna WIN’ - taylor looks around the pitch, reflected in her eyes, the scoreboard flickers

‘it’s you and me, that’s my whole world’ - the scoreboard flickers between blue and red

‘they whisper in the hallway she’s a bad bad girl, she’s a bad bad girl,’ - taylor sits cross legged in the middle of the pitch, and watches the scoreboard expectantly, the final image is blue reflected in her eyes before the screen fades to black

[bnha-anywhere-but-there]

Anywhere but There- Chapter 8: More Morning Talks

Todoroki went to bed at ten as agreed. He didn't go to sleep, opting for texting Yaoyorozu until midnight and then switching to Midoriya after that. Todoroki was one of the few people that actually knew about Midoriya's lack of sleep. He had trouble staying still as a result of Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS for short) and every time he tried falling asleep thoughts would invade his mind endlessly.

It was 2am when Yamada woke up to get a drink. Passing the boy's room, he saw a faint glow coming from underneath the door. He didn't pay much mind to it at first and instead went to get his drink. Aizawa was at the dining table, going through some paperwork. Getting his water, he sat in front of the other man with half open eyes; signing to the other carelessly. Yamada's quirk was loud and lead to him being deaf in both ears by the time he was in his second year of high school. At night, the hearing aids were taken out- hence the signing.

"What?" Aizawa whispered. Yamada was very tired and his movements were sloppy and sluggish. He signed back ‘I couldn't see properly. Again'. Yamada repeated the motions. Aizawa nodded this time, getting most of the message. Grunting as he stood, he made his way to the youngest's room. He knocked softly before opening the door. The room was dark, but Aizawa had seen the light from under the door. He found the boy's phone by his pillow and picked it up. It was warm, "Todoroki, I know you're awake." he whispered. The phone buzzed as the screen lit up. Aizawa made a note to speak with Midoriya later in the day. The boy stayed stock still, afraid to breath even slightly off in fear of the man noticing. Aizawa sighed, making a note to talk to Todoroki as well, "Night, kid." he murmured, closing the door behind him. He turned the phone off and went back to the kitchen, deciding to call it a night.

The next morning Todoroki was up a few minutes before either Aizawa or Yamada, in search of his phone. He concluded it must've been in the pairs bedroom after briefly searching everywhere else. Opening the door as quietly as possible, he peeked his head inside. Aizawa was curled up into Yamada's side peacefully as the other laid on his back in a similar state. Todoroki spotted his phone on the bedside table next to Aizawa and tipped toed over to get it. As he picked it up, the alarm next to Yamada went off, except it wasn't Yamada who woke up. Aizawa groaned and clambered over his spouse to turn off the awful device; causing the blond to groan at the sudden weight on his chest. Todoroki stood like a deer caught in the headlights as Aizawa opened his eyes. He yawned and rubbed the dust out of the corner of his eyes before taking in the situation.

"Why are you up so early? Ugh." he decided to complain instead.

"Do you want some coffee?" Todoroki asked. Aizawa hummed out a 'yes', allowing Todoroki to take his leave. Turning his phone back on, an abundance of messages welcomed him, "stupid Aizawa." he grumbled. He'd left Midoriya alone and felt guilty. Huffing, he called the boy. After five rings, the other line was picked up.

"...hello?" Midoriya answered, slightly out of breath.

"Hey, sorry I suddenly stopped replying last night. Aizawa took my phone off me and I only just got it back. Are you ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine. I didn't sleep all that well but that's not exactly new." Midoriya joked. Todoroki felt worry build in his chest. They'd only stopped talking at two and, by the sounds of it, Midoriya had gone out for his morning run; meaning he probably got three and a half hours of sleep at best.

"When did you go to sleep?" the other asked, already anticipating the answer that would make him cringe.

"Maybe around three?" came the dreaded answer. Todoroki nearly growled but stopped himself to ask his next question.

"And what time did you wake up?" he asked.

“Around half five." the other replied nonchalantly. Now Todoroki decided to snarl down the receiver.

"Izuku! You know how bad that is. Please don't tell me you drank coffee this morning." drinking coffee only made his RLS worse for reasons unknown even to the doctors. It just did and Izuku wasn't supposed to drink it.

"...too late." Todoroki groaned.

"If you fall asleep in lessons, you're gonna get chewed out. I think Aizawa knows you were awake." Izuku let out a whiny tone on the other end.

"Come on Shouto. I never fall asleep. I'll be fine as long as I have another coffee before class starts. Look, I gotta go and shower. Talk at school, ok?" Shouto sighed, deciding to lecture the boy on his coffee intake at school.

"Ok. Bye." he hung up and turned around, startled by Aizawa leaning against the doorframe behind him. A scowl had found its home on the mans face, having heard the whole conversation.

"I think you should be less worried about Midoriya and more worried about yourself." Aizawa warned. Yamada appeared behind Aizawa with a small smile.

"Let's sit down and you can explain yourself, yeah?" he said. Todoroki nodded and pocketed his phone, going to sit at the table. Yamada sat next to him whilst Aizawa sat opposite.

"I thought we agreed ten o'clock, not two." Aizawa started. Todoroki nodded.

"We did, sorry." Todoroki said curtly, leaving a space that the men were eager to fill.

"...but?" Yamada encouraged.

"But Izuku didn't agree ten." he mumbled, twiddling his fingers.

"Why is Midoriya apart of this?" Aizawa asked, taking on his homeroom teacher role.

" 'Cause he has trouble sleeping," another short silence came. The pair were just processing the information but Todoroki took it as a cue to continue talking, " 'cause he has anxiety- and Restless Leg Syndrome." the pair filled in the rest.

"I'll speak with him," Aizawa said, frowning a little, "I thought you offered me coffee." he said. Todoroki's eyebrows rose.

"No I didn't. You must've been dreaming." he lied. Yamada stood, running his fingers through Aizawa's hair.

"I'll make you coffee." he bent and kissed the other on his temple. Aizawa hummed, leaning into the touch.

"Thanks." he murmured.

"Izuku's not allowed coffee," Todoroki said. Aizawa cocked an eyebrow, "it makes his RLS worse. So- if you see him with coffee- don't let him drink it." the other warned. Aizawa nodded.

"I will. Thanks for telling me. I'm gonna make toast. Do you want some?" he said, starting to stand. Todoroki nodded.

"Yes please- with chocolate spread?" he asked hopefully. Aizawa sighed.

"With either jam or honey. You know chocolate spread's bad for you." he said. The younger puffed his cheeks out in a pout, but Aizawa held his stare.

"Fine. I'll have jam, please." Aizawa nodded and started on the toast. Twenty minutes later and they had eaten and were lying on the sofa. They wouldn't have to leave until 08:10, so they had plenty of time. Well, had. Todoroki ended up falling back to sleep next to Aizawa who had done the same five minutes earlier. Yamada came out of the bathroom, ready to go at eight. He sighed and approached them, nudging both males.

"Wake up. We need to leave in ten minutes or we're gonna be late." the pair groaned, Todoroki snuggling closer into Aizawa's side.

"Aizawa's always late." He mumbled.

"If you're not up in the next minute, I'm gonna get my bucket of water." Yamada warned.

"He's not joking, Todoroki." Aizawa said, trying to wake himself up.

They arrived at school with half a minute to spare; Todoroki being the last one in the classroom. As he sat down, Yaoyorozu leaned over, her eyebrows were knitted together tightly.

"Why's your hair wet?"

[icyhobi]

Take It Like A Puppy (M)

Summary: You and Hoseok have been best friends since you were young. Your friendship with him, was struck as odd since you were a cat hybrid, while he was a dog hybrid. But that didn’t matter, that is until you both start attending university. What happens when one of you unexpectedly goes into heat?

Pairing: Jhope x Reader

Genre: Smut (M), hybrid!au, Cat hybrid reader, Dog hybrid Jhope

Word Count : 5.5k

A/N: This story contains graphic descriptions of sex, cum play, bondage, oral, etc. Heavy dom/sub undertones. Lmao this is just a sinful read. I’m a sucker for hybrid aus, so i had to make one ;) Anywho, this is a mature read! You have been warned!

You’ve known Hoseok since you were nine years old. At the time, you were just a quiet little kitten, who didn’t have many friends. Hoseok, was an annoying hyperactive puppy, who everybody adored in your class. He didn’t really bother you that much, until you became desk partners. That’s when he thought it was okay to pop your ‘personal space bubble’ and sniff you, every second he got.

“Why do you keep trying to smell me!” the nine-year-old you shouted. This was the third time you caught him in the act, ever since you became seat mates a week ago.

“I’m part canine! That’s what we always do!” Hoseok explained, with a smile on his face. He didn’t really know you that much, only that you were always super quiet. But he wanted to change that, he wanted a feline as a friend for once.

“Well can you stop? Its kinda weird,” you replied uncomfortably.

Including you, there were only two other cat hybrids in your class, the rest were a split between bunny, dog, and fox hybrids. Thus, you were extremely uncomfortable with this puppy trying to get up all in your space. Besides, you were quite afraid of dog hybrids since they could become aggressive easily.

“No, you’re weird,” the puppy joked.

You finally turn to glare at him, then let a hiss seethe through your teeth.

This causes the puppy to whimper in defense, not meaning to offend you. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way!”

“Then why else would you say it?” you snapped back at him, even though you felt a small tug of guilt when he whimpered.

“Because I wanted to be friends with you… so I tried to make you laugh” he pouted.

Your eyes widen at his response. He really wanted to be friends with you? No one really wanted to even get to know you.

“Why would you wanna be friends with me?” you asked softly.

Hoseok instantly smiles and says “Because you don’t really talk to anyone that much. And you look really nice, so I wanna be friends.”

“You do?”

“Yea!”

You couldn’t help but let out a smile, happy that you made a new friend.

“Okay, lets be friends then.”

Ever since then, you two had become best friends. Hoseok stuck close to you at all times, always talking about the littlest of things, while you would listen silently with a smile. He was the one who would do most of the talking, but you didn’t mind. There were a couple of instances however, where you two would fight over your species.

Cat and Dog hybrids tended to not get along very well, but you guys worked. Your friendship struck many others as odd, but you both didn’t care what they thought. And that’s why you two decided to become roommates, at the University’s hybrid residence.

You didn’t change much in personality since you were little however, you did open up a bit more to strangers. Hoseok on the other hand, was still loud and annoying, but also started to become more of a flirter, along with his group of friends. You had heard rumors from people on campus about how good he was in bed, to which you would mentally cringe at. You’ve been best friends since you were so young, and hearing that kind of stuff, always wanted to make you gag.

To be fair though, you weren’t immune to his good looks. No matter how hard you would try to ignore that fact, it was inevitable. Even last week when he came out of the shower, you were practically blushing when you realized he had no shirt on. His toned and lean muscles made your cheeks burn, to which Hoseok acted oblivious too. The nerve that man had.

Today however, you were completely alone at your apartment. It was Friday night, and Hoseok decided to have a ‘bro’ night with a couple of his good friends. You actually knew both of the guys he was hanging out with. They were in that very class you became friends with Hoseok all those years ago, and now attended the same university as you. One of them was named Kim Taehyung, who was a dog hybrid, just like Hoseok. The other was a bunny hybrid named Jeon Jungkook, who honestly acted more like a dog, rather than a bunny. That’s probably why he got along with both Taehyung and Hoseok well.

You didn’t mind that he left you alone, since you were rather independent. But you couldn’t help but feel a bit bored in your shared apartment. You couldn’t even watch some tv to kill time, since Hoseok broke it by accident while cleaning. Somehow, he made your flat-screen tip over and fall on its face. It didn’t bother you too much, since he promised to buy a new one.

Still, it was just so damn quiet…

But then you remembered; you could just watch a movie on Hoseok’s laptop. He already had many movies downloaded on it, so you could just pick through his selection. He gave you the password to access his laptop prior, since he felt bad about breaking the tv, so it couldn’t hurt.

You head over to his room, and spot the laptop at his study desk. You bring it out with you in the living room, then plop down on the couch to get comfortable. You open it and quickly type in the password, only to be greeted by a sight that almost made you drop it.

On the screen was a woman, who you supposed was a bunny hybrid. She was completely naked, with her huge breasts bouncing around everywhere as she rode a carrot like dildo.

What the fuck?!? you mentally screamed. Since when was Hoseok into bunny porn?

But as the video continued playing, you almost wanted to piss your pants when she literally grabbed a carrot, and started to eat it while over exaggerating her moans.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe he gets off to this,” you laughed, smiling to yourself.

Yea, you’d definitely question him about this when you saw him again.

“So how’s your kitten?” Jungkook teased, while the three of them were walking out of the bar.

“Are you talking about Y/N?” Taehyung curiously asked.

“Fuck yea, who else?” the bunny smirked.

“You guys…” Hoseok sighed while scratching his soft floppy ears. “Why do you always think I’m fucking Y/N?”

All four of you were in the same classes since elementary school. However, you weren’t that close with them, besides Hoseok. So they always saw you with him, and assumed you two had a thing going on since you were kids.

“Uhh maybe because you’ve been friends since forever, and you guys are also roommates,” Jungkook said cheekily.

“Not that we’re judging you, cause damn, I’d let her ride me any day. And that’s a lot coming from me, cause I can’t stand cats.” Taehyung said while closing his eyes in imagination.

“Ditto on that, except I’ll have her lay on the bed and pound into her non-stop,” Jungkook snickers.

“What the fuck guys, I still can’t believe I’m friends with you,” Hoseok says, while he shook his head laughing. He then continued, “Y/N is practically like a sister to me.” But even as he said that, it was obvious he was lying.

“Oh please, stop with the bullshit Hobi. We know if you got the chance, you’d totally fuck her.”

“Yea imagine if she was on her heat, just begging you.” the bunny added. “When is your heat anyway?”

Hoseok exhaled a deep breath before he said, “It’s coming up real soon.”

“Are you gonna take your pill suppressants?” Taehyung questioned, with his blonde ears flopping in curiosity.

There was a small smirk playing on his face, before he suggestively replied;

“Nope.”

“Hey Hobi,” you greeted him softly, as he had just returned home to your apartment.

Hoseok’s ears instantly shot up in happiness to your voice. He hastily took of his sneakers before running towards you, from your spot on the couch.

Oh great, better grace for impact… you sighed in your head, just before he tackled you. Your back was now flat against the couch, as he was on his knees, having his upper torso embrace you in a hug. He has no shame as he snuggles his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent.

The feeling tickles you, so you start trying to stifle your laughter. “Hobi get off! It tickles!”

Instead of listening to you, he just rubs his face against your neck harder. “But you always smell so good!”

“You’re invading my personal space,” you said, trying to sound annoyed.

“Yea well, I’m part dog so I think I have an excuse.”

You grunt in irritation, but let him have his way of cuddling you. Dog hybrids were always so touchy-feely as it was in their DNA, so you just let him be. However, you still wanted to tease him a little because of that video on his laptop you saw.

“Hobi…” you purred.

He could feel his throat stricken up, from the seductive tone you were using. He still has his face nudged in your neck when he stammers, “Yeah?”

“So…” you say, while lightly scratching the dark furry ears that were atop of his head. “Since when did you have a thing for bunnies?”

“What do you mean?” he says while furrowing his eyebrows.

“Well, I kinda saw this cute bunny girl on your laptop. And she was having the time of her life riding a big juicy carrot.” you teased, trying your best not to laugh.

Hoseok’s face instantly heats up, as he continues to hide his face from you. “Jungkook sent that to me!” he spoke with an embarrassed voice.

“Aww, you don’t have to be shy about it. I won’t judge.”

He stays silent, so you pester him further, “I mean, I don’t blame you. Jungkook’s also a bunny hybrid, and he’s pretty hot.”

His hold on you tightens, as you said that. You thought Jungkook was attractive? What about him? He was good looking to! Why didn’t you say anything like that about him?

“What do you mean by that?” he said with a low voice.

There’s a faint smirk on your face, because you knew you managed to get under his skin. “I don’t know, maybe that I’d let him rut against me…” you taunted.

What the hell is she talking about?!? Why would she let him, when I’m around!?

Hoseok was having an internal battle with his head with your lewd words. What had gotten into you? But before he could even stop himself, he blurted out, “Would you let me?”

What!?!? Did he just ask if I’d let him fuck me? Where the hell did that come from?!

You just wanted to tease Hoseok a little, but you never intended it to turn out this way. You started to feel yourself blush at his question, and couldn’t stand being in this position any longer.

“I d-didn’t mean…” you trail of quietly. What had you actually even meant?

You were too flustered at this point, so you attempted to push him off of you. The only problem was, he didn’t comply and just held on tighter.

“Hoseok can you get off of me?” you say, trying your best to sound aggressive.

“No.”

“E-excuse me?”

“Why don’t you answer my question first?” he said with a dark voice.

What the hell was his problem? It almost sounded as if he was getting mad, but you didn’t even do anything wrong!

“Get off, now.” you demanded. But in reality, you were scared your voice would waver because of how fast your heart was beating.

“Then why don’t you be a good little kitten, and tell me why you’d choose him over me? You don’t think I’m a good enough mate?” he growled back at you.

W-what… did he really just growl at me?!? You’ve never seen Hoseok become so aggressive before, especially with you. So you stayed still, not knowing what to say.

Your silence makes him inpatient, so instead of snuggling, he sticks his tongue out and starts licking the side of your neck.

You’re in compete shock over his actions; he tended to ignore space issues, but he’s never done this before. And when he starts to harshly suck on your skin, you let out a quiet moan.

This drives his hormones insane, so he quickly stands up to trap you. His arms are on either side of your head as he hovers above you. He chooses to lick and suck on your jawline now, and when you try to withhold another moan, he grinds his crotch against you.

What was he doing? How had things turned out like this? But, why were you even letting him continue? You two were best friends and if you let this go on even further, it could damage your friendship.

You close your eyes tightly, as you regretfully stammer “H-hoseok, stop.”

This instantly makes the dog boy freeze, and he pushes up on his arms to look at you. Your eyes were closed shut, as your cheeks were flushed a bright red. You were biting your lip harshly as your fluffy black ears were pulled back a little, indicating you were stressed.

What had he done? Scared that if he stared at you any longer, he wouldn’t be able to control himself from you. So, he choked out a guilty “sorry” before he got up and dashed to his room, slamming the door.

You stay still on the couch. Why did you edge him on so much, and try to make him jealous? What had come over both of you?

But what mortified you the most; was that you didn’t want him to stop.

It had been two days since that incident had occurred. It was now Sunday, and were starting to become extremely worried. Your usually hyperactive dog friend had locked himself in his room, not even coming out once.

He would practically starve himself in there, if you didn’t do anything soon. But you didn’t even know how to approach him. You would be to embarrassed to face him again, since you were having wet dreams about him after the events of Friday took place.

But you did feel a bit bad though, since it was partially your fault he was locked up in there. If you just didn’t go to far with your teasing, none of that would have ever happened. So deciding you should relieve the tension, you tip-toe your way to his door. You knock on it gently, before voicing out to him.

“Hoseok, are you okay?” you ask worryingly.

You hear some shuffling from a squeaking from his bed springs, before he speaks. “Yea I’m fine.”

His voice sounded dry and hoarse, almost as if he was in pain. This just made you more concerned, so you speak out again. “Are you s-sure? Can you come out please?”

“I’m sure. I just don’t feel like coming out.” he wavers.

“Okay, can I come in them?” you ask with your hand on the doorknob.

“N-no!” you heard him choke out.

Surprised, you question him, “Why?”

“Because I don’t want you to come in!”

Is he mad at me? No! I want my happy and annoying Hobi!

Distressed, you exclaim through the door, “Hoseok please! I’m sorry about what happened on Friday, lets just talk this out.” He doesn’t reply, so you slowly twist the handle.

“I said don’t fucking come in!”

“Like hell I won’t!” you shout, then swing open his door quickly, then closing it behind you. You turn around to face him, and then instantly turn back facing the wall covering your face.

Hoseok was sitting on his bed, completely naked. His back was against the headboard of the bed, as a collar was attached to his neck. There was a long metal chain hooked to his collar, that was securely locked on the headboard. This allowed only for him to move just a little, before the chain would hold him back by his neck.

But then it all made sense as to why he was acting so weird. Why he got so horny and possessive all of a sudden; it was because he was in heat.

Your face is bright red, but you manage to stutter, “Hoseok, are you in your heat?”

He groans at the sound of your voice, “Yea…”

“Do you have your pills?”

“I lost them.”

What? How could he be so careless? Every hybrid needs to be prepared for their heat early in advance, to keep them and others safe. But he is just sitting there, without a partner to help him, or pills to suppress his hormones. Which was practically like torturing yourself.

“What the hell Hoseok! Do you need me to get Seulgi to help you?”

“No.”

“But doesn’t she usually help you in your heats? If you want, I can get Yoona instead then.”

“I don’t want any of them.”

“Well out of the countless people I know you’ve slept with…” you seethed, then continued, “pick one and I’ll call them to help you.”

“Y/N…”

“Yea?”

“Turn around,” he spoke with a low voice.

“W-what? Why?” you stuttered in confusion.

“Cause I only want you to help me.”

WHAT!?! NO NO NOO! That is not happening, you screamed to yourself mentally. You know that hybrids will tend to say bizarre things, just so they could get someone to fuck them during their heats. And you knew that was the case for Hoseok as well, but you felt a big urge to listen to his request.

“Stop speaking nonsense,” you wavered.

You heard him growl before he spoke, “Y/N stop being a fucking a pussy and get your fine ass over here.”

You took a deep breath, trying not to get too frustrated with him. You put your hand on the doorknob getting ready to leave. “I’ll call someone to he-”

“No!” he choked out in desperation. “Please Y/N, you don’t know how b-bad it hurts! Please just help me!”

Him being restrained and begging, literally made you feel as if you were on fire. You’re positive you’ve most likely soaked through your panties just to his voice.

“Please! I beg of you, just jerk me off at least! I have my leash on, so I can’t even try anything on you…” he pleaded with fake emotion. He knew being aggressive wasn’t working with you, so he had to change up his act. And by the way he saw you pause at the door, trying to rub your thighs together, he knew it was working.

Understanding how painful it could be, you figured it would do no harm if you just jerked him off. After that, you would leave and get someone else to help him.

Complying, you turned around to face the sexy sight of him again. You slowly walked forward, and chose to sit on the edge of his bed, right beside him. “I’m only jerking you off once, then I’ll get someone else.”

Hoseok smirks, and then replied with “Alright.”

You try to calm your nerves as you look over his irresistible body. He was toned in all the right places, and the small dark trail of hair below his belly button, lead you to the mouth watering sight of his hot red dick.

Okay Y/N you got this! you thought, trying to encourage yourself.

You bite your lip as you tentatively reach out, and put a finger at the tip of his cock. That alone makes him moan out, a sound that was so heavenly to your fluffy ears. You decide to tease him more by slowly rubbing your finger in slow circles, where the slit was.

He’s letting out whimpers, and it was one of the biggest turn on’s you’ve ever heard. There was already a bit of precum leaking through his slit, that you were tempted to lick.

You look up to see that Hoseok was gripping the bedsheets with a deathly grip, while his eyes were closed in pleasure by your motions. So that’s when you decided to surprise him.

With a smirk, you leant down till your face was right beside his painfully hard dick, then gave small kitten licks up along his length; from the base to his tip. You’re happy when he scrunches in pleasure from the feeling of your tongue.

“Y/N…” he panted. He opens his eyes to see your pretty face hovering over his cock. “C-can you please suck me off?” he asked, with hopefulness laced in his voice.

This causes you to let out a cheshire grin, as you were feeling a bit devious today. There was a big stereotype that cat hybrids were kind of assholes, since they looked so independent and always could be so conniving. You however, thought that maybe you could use that to your advantage today. Coming up with a plan, you winked at him.

“Okay Hobi, I’ll suck your dick. But you have to be a good little doggy, and keep your hands to yourself. Okay?”

Ohh she’s good… he thought silently. He would let you play your games for now, but he knew he would get his way soon enough.

“Alright, kitten.”

And with that said, you leaned down and slowly started to sink your mouth down on his dick. When your nose hits the soft patch of black hair on his pelvis, you raise your hands to play with his balls. He lets out a loud deep moan when you hollow your cheeks, sucking on his dick like a popsicle.

“Ahh fuck Y/N, you’re so good with your mouth,” he praised in pleasure.

His compliments only fuel your hunger for him, so you let go with of his cock with a ‘pop’ noise, then start kissing each side of it. You add your tongue into the mix, and since you were part cat, it was a bit rougher than normal tongues, intensifying the pleasure.

“Ahh fuck!” Hoseok grunted. At that moment he decided, getting head from cat hybrids were the best; more specially, by you. He has the biggest urge to grab and touch you, but he doesn’t wanna break your rules.

“Baby I need more,” he whimpered. He couldn’t handle being submissive, especially during his heat. He needed to be in control, no teasing, just straight to the good stuff.

Hearing him call you ‘baby’ almost makes you lose your composure, since you secretly loved being called that. Glancing upwards to his flushed expression, you decide to play nice and give him what he wanted.

He cries out when you momentarily stand up, and leave his dick hanging. But all protests die down when he sees you close your eyes to calm your nerves, then slowly reach under your skirt to pull your panties off.

He licks his lips when he see’s the evident sticky stain on your underwear, and instantly wants to have a taste of you. You then reach under your shirt to unbuckle your bra, and manage pull it off without taking your top off. You still wore your skirt and shirt, just with no undergarments.

Hoseok’s mouth was watering at the sight of your already hardened nipples from underneath your shirt. And with his heightened senses, the scent of you was driving him insane, tempting him to just ravish you.

“Alright Hobi, only since you’re such a good little doggy.” You then climb up onto the bed and stand on your knees, straddling his hips. You use your long fluffy black tail, to steady his cock right in front of your entrance. Your soaked, so when you sink down onto him, it slides in with ease.

You wait for a couple of seconds, adjusting to his size, before you slowly start to rock your hips against his.

“Nghh, you feel so good Hobi,” you moan out, as you ride him.

“Baby you’re the one who feels amazing,” he groans. “Your small little pussy is so tight and wet for me, and I didn’t even have to touch you.”

Your cheeks are on fire, since you know its true. Just the sight of him like this, and his voice had you soaked.

You go to grab his hands that were gripping the bedsheets, and guide them under your shirt to your breasts.

“Aghh Hoseok!” you cry out, when he grips them harshly and toys with your erect nipples.

“Mmm, such a good little kitty,” he says seductively, then removes one hand from your shirt and goes to smack your ass.

“Nahh!” you mewled out, as he slapped your ass another time. After that, he slowly rubbed the sore flesh in soothing circles.

While he still was rubbing your butt, you decide to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders as he thrusts up into you, to help you out.

This continues for another ten minutes, before Hoseok’s thrusting starts to become crazily fast and hard. You’re practically flying into the air as he snaps his hips up into you, but he held you down securely with his arms.

“I’m close,” he panted, frantically.

Perfect… you thought mischievously. You untangle yourself from his strong arms, and then ask him to slow down for a second. Even though he protested it, he still complied to your wish. As soon as he slowed down enough, you hopped off his dick and stood right beside the bed, giving him a taunting smile.

“What the fuck are doing?” he yelled out, clearly frustrated that you stopped right before he was about to come.

“Well…” you said innocently. “I kinda wanted to get back at you, for ignoring me these past couple of days, so imma leave you here for a bit. Don’t worry, I’ll call someone to come and take care of you. You’ll only have to wait around hour.”

“What the fuck? You can’t be serious Y/N!” he shrieked in disbelief.

“I’ll see ya when you’re done!” you winked at him cheerfully, then turned around. You knew you were being cruel, but he partially deserved it. Him ignoring you, made you freak and assume he was mad at you. You were so worried about him, but he just continued to hide himself angrily in his room.

“Fucking unchain me right now!” he demanded.

The reason someone needed a partner during their heat, was because they couldn’t satisfy their sexual needs by themselves. This meant that, he couldn’t cum by masturbating by himself. He needed a partner. So that’s why you felt a bit bad at the sound of him struggling, but you knew he would eventually get over it.

His howling and screaming continues, but you try your best to ignore it as you slowly make your way to the door on wobbly legs.

C’mon Y/N almost there! Don’t go back, no matter how amazing it felt…

You’re just about to reach his door, until you hear the metal chains that were restraining him, protest with a loud snap.

You turn your head and see Hoseok charging directly towards you, after he managed to break the leash that was on his neck. You try to bolt, but he grabs you by your tail, yanking it hard. You cry in pain, but he picks you up bridal style and throws you roughly back to his bed.

You bounce on it with a shriek, and then Hoseok came quick to tower over you.

“Uhh… s-sorry?” you stuttered, trying to sound innocent. Though, you rather nervous and extremely excited for what was to happen next.

“How cute. But I won’t let you off easy,” he mocks, then grabs you by your waist to spin you around so that you were on your hands and knees.

“Now…” he growled then tugged your hair back, so he could speak in your ear. “Why don’t you be a good little kitten and take it like a puppy, okay?”

You don’t complain as you arch your back, sticking your ass out nicely on display for him. He takes no time to waste and thrusts into you from behind, in doggy-style position. You both instantly moan out at the feeling, as the new position caused him to go deeper into you with each brutal thrust.

Wanting to feel more of you, he rips your shirt in shreds, much to your complaint. His bare chest was against your bare back now, and he hooked one arm to hold you by your waist, and another to grope your breasts. As he continues to slam into you, he licks the side juncture of your shoulder and then bites down on it.

“Ahh Hoseok!” you cried out, at the harsh bite.

He decides to play nice, then snakes down the hand that was holding your waist, to start rubbing your clit. You cry out again from the overwhelming pleasure he was giving, and try to snap your hips to meet his thrusts, causing both of you to spill out in a moaning mess.

“I-I’m close!” you panted.

“M-me too,” he replied breathlessly.

His thrusts become increasingly hard, to the point where you’re sure you would have bruises, but then your walls finally clench down tightly on his dick.

“Hoseok!” you screamed out in ecstasy, as he helps you ride out your orgasm.

Right after, felt his release coming too so he pulled out of you and jerked himself a couple of times, before shooting his hot load all over your back.

You collapsed down onto your stomach, completely worn out. Hoseok doesn’t say anything, as he goes to lick up his own cum from your back. The sensation feels oddly soothing, so you let him clean you up.

When he’s done, he lays down beside you, making you turn to face him. He has a big bright smile on his handsome face, as he goes in to kiss you. You could taste his cum from his mouth, but you didn’t mind a single bit as you wrap your arms around his shoulders and neck.

The kiss was full of passion and lust, and you found yourself smiling into it.

You break off first, coming up to breathe in some air.

Hoseok on the other hand, continued to smile as he spills, “I have a confession to make.”

You looked at him curiously, before you asked, “Like what?”

“I purposely didn’t take my heat suppressant pills,” he smiled.

“W-what? You didn’t lose them?” you asked, completely bewildered.

“No,” he said cheekily. He then pointed towards his nightstand. “They’re in the first drawer.”

You hastily sit up and lean over to open the first drawer, and saw that he was right. You pull out the pills, and give it a shake, to hear that there were still many left in the bottle.

“Why would you do that?” you asked in confusion.

“Because I wanted a partner to help me.”

“But then why didn’t you let me call someone?”

He laughs, while he says with the brightest smile ever, “Because I only wanted you, silly”

What?!! Is he serious? No he can’t be, it must be his heat talking… you sighed in your head. You honestly wished that was true, since you could feel butterflies in your stomach when he said that.

“That’s your heat talking, Hobi,” you smiled a bit sadly.

He doesn’t reply, instead he flicks you on your forehead.

“Oww! What was that for?” you pouted.

“Because your so naïve.”

“How?”

“Because it’s obvious I have feelings for you.”

“W-what?” you choked out.

“Y/N, my heat started last night…” he trailed off. When he see’s your eyes widen in realization, he continued, “That means when I started licking you up and grinding against you on Friday, it wasn’t because I was experiencing symptoms of my heat, but it was because I was jealous. I was jealous that you said you would let Jungkook do things to you, and not me. I became possessive, and wanted to keep you to myself.”

“Hoseok…”

He doesn’t let you continue as he speaks, “I started to ignore you a bit these past couple of weeks, because I wanted you to miss me. I wanted you to want me.”

But I do want you…

“I’m always prepared for my heats, so I purposely locked myself up, knowing that you would become worried and check up on me.”

“Well how would you have known that?” you questioned.

“Because…” he smiled. “I know how sweet my kitten is.”

You’ve never had your heart flutter so much before, and it was truly overwhelming. You were blushing like crazy, but you then cupped his cheeks and kissed him again.

“I really did miss you,” you said warmly.

“So, do you wanna go out on a date when my heat is done?” he asked you nervously.

Seeing him so nervous, was completely heart warming. So you kissed him again reassuringly, before you sweetly said, “I’d love that.”

You were gonna head in to kiss him one more time, before you stuck your finger to his lips. “But on one condition…”

“And what might that be?”

“You’ll have to help me out on my heats, deal?” you teased.

He doesn’t reply, as he rolls over with a predatory smirk, so he could climb on top of you. He traps you with his arms and spreads your legs again using his own before saying;

“Deal.”

[castawxayaway]

fall apart: two

this is part two- part one / collection of my writing

thank you to those who wanted a second part, I’m sure this will make you smile (internally or externally idm)

Fidgeting in my seat I try to block out his music that thumps through the walls as pens on my desk vibrate along with the beat. The pile of papers is close to nothing now and all that’s left is the final segment and then I’m done. Well, until editing, but that won’t be until at least next week. 

The growing temptation to pick up my phone as it lingers in the background on my bed, itching for me to grab it and just tell everyone that I am almost done. But mainly to tell him, and thank him more than anyone else. Not that he’d really get it, he’d just congratulate me, and maybe join me for another cuppa later on as everyone gets ready to go out and celebrate the end of another term whilst I remain in my room, working through. 

Maybe we could have another movie night, or cook together like last week. I smile to myself as I see flour covering his then flattened hair and a bright smile on his face as he sought revenge. A simple bolognese and crumble took an additional two hours due to the dance break I insisted we take and misreading the recipe, twice. 

I lean back in my chair, distancing myself from the last thousand words. So close, yet so far. My eyes slowly glance to my bed, my phone perfectly resting on top of my duvet waving at me. The screen remains dark, but part of me knows there must be a notification, or someone tweeting or a Snapchat, just something to allow me to distract myself and for it to be partially acceptable.

“Just, get this done and then, then you can go on your phone.” My attempts at self-motivation are far from inspiring as my thoughts turn against me. “But what if he’s messaged me?” Any motivation has walked out of my door as I reach over for my phone, checking just in case he has messaged me. 

The screen lights up, but all I’m presented with is my phone background and the time. It remains void of anything interesting besides the minutes slowly going by whilst I attempt to procrastinate. 

Sighing loudly I force myself off of my chair and slid my slippers on and open my creaking door. As it shuts behind me my slippers shuffle along the wooden floorboards, with each room I pass a different sound is heard. Music in one, silence in another, a hairdryer followed by laughter. I push the kitchen door and walk straight to the kettle, clicking the button until it is illuminated and begins to rumble like a storm.  

With my slippers and the kettle being the only audible sounds I sit at the table, staring blankly at my phone hoping something would appear to distract me. Yet no one is active, I glance out the window to the streets below and I see few pass laughing or shuffling together with bottles in their hands. Some wave at drivers who beep at them, others dance in the silence of crossings. The kettle clicks and steam clings to the tiles as I pull it away, pouring it into a grey mug dotted with white stars. 

I watch as the liquid darkens, brown swirls into new shades as I pour the milk in and zone out as it sinks and rises like he did when we went to that water park. He rushed down the slide after I remained hesitant, and he remained under the water longer than I expected before he burst out, arms flailing and face covered with his own hair. Laughter echoes the ghostly silence as I pick the mug up, careful to not burn my fingertips as I head back to motivate myself.

*

One more sentence, five hours later. I click save multiple times and take photos of it all, especially after last time in the library. Since then, he has made more effort to join me. He doesn’t act as if he’s on a pedestal anymore, he likes to say that I grounded him a bit more, and that- 

He’s grateful to have a friend like me. 

A friend. Nothing more, nothing less. 

I reach into my pocket and unlock my phone, a single notification slides from my phone and I pick up my tea. I spit the liquid back into the cup as the warmth I craved has turned cold, just like my fingertips after typing for too long. Outside the sky has turned the lights off entirely, I missed the sunset in favour of my own vague meaningless writing. 

Clicking the message I can’t prevent the smile that forms on my face. Hope you finish it soon, pretty bored up here and wondered if you’re down for a film? Part of me didn’t care that it was such a mundane idea, I cared more about the thought behind it. 

I send a reply of my finished screen and pick up my key before heading out of my room and down the silent corridor with my slippers indicating it’s me as I shut the front door behind me. Shuffling along I walk through the double doors and out to the lift where the smell of weed and alcohol lingers in the air. It’s obvious everyone’s almost done with the year, the silence that floated through the corridors and flats in the building have mostly been demolished by the mess left everywhere and the 3am cheers or chants through the lift shaft. 

Patiently I wait in front of the metal doors, something I am frequently doing to go to his or leave. As the doors open I’m greeted by my less than presentable reflection. My hair, recently untied from my face is out of control likewise is my sense of style. I’m wearing my fake pyjamas, ones that resemble the style and all the comfort of actual pyjamas but are viewed as socially acceptable to be seen in. 

Looking at my reflection I ponder momentarily as the lift rises, is this why he doesn’t like me like that? Because I never look the part? The thought is broken as the lift opens, except I’m not on the right floor. Instead, two guys walk in, eyes wide and odour spreading like a wildfire into the confined space.

“Hey, babe.” One slurred into my hair as I leant closer to the mirror, trying to avoid their gaze as I focused on the growing mess on the floor. My mind shut down, the attempts at self-reassurance but instead has shrugged its shoulders and abandoned ship. 

Suddenly icy fingertips are under my chin, forcing my head to face them causing identical smirks to form on their faces. I try to resist the watering in my eyes as I shrug my head away, but the other moves closer cornering me. “Why so frigid?” The other one laughs whilst grabby heavily eyes me up and down. 

The lift doors slide open and the conversation outside diminishes. I try to force my way out and share a glance with the group going in who wear naivety heavy in their eyes. “See you later gorgeous!” A shiver spreads down my spine and his words crawl under my skin, festering the disgust. 

I begin to walk past the various flats towards his but with each step, I become slower. My breathing starts to take longer, it’s weighing me down. Leaning against a wall I try to catch my breath, but my body refuses to allow it. Tears begin to well up in my eyes as I can feel them under my skin, their words and stench have weaved into the fibres of my clothes and tangled themselves in my hair. 

My slippers drag my legs across the ridged carpet as if it were thick snow. Weakly I knock on his front door, tears spilling over my eyes now as I try to compose myself but it’s no use. “Hey,” Lifting my head I’m met by one of his flatmates, a concered look crosses his face, but he simply holds the door open for me. “Dan’s in his room.” 

A thank you leaves my lips, but I know it’s barely audible. I hear the door close behind me and another open as he passes me without another word to his own room whilst I try to pull myself together. Sighing too loudly I knock with more care, with my usual joyous knock but it’s no use. This time it is completely lifeless. 

His door opens and I hear him begin to say something, but he stops. I slowly lift my head to see his expression, and my heart sinks into my stomach only hanging together by a thread. His mouth is ajar, unsure what to say as he stands in his fluffy dressing gown and glasses on. “What-” Before he had the chance to finish I wrap my arms tightly around his neck, burying my head out of sight as tears dissolve into the black fabric. 

Hesitation radiates off him as his hands slowly relax on my back, tightening his hold on me as his door closes and his music plays quietly from his laptop. Pulling away I step back, wiping my nose with my sleeve and laughing at my state. Rather than question he walks over to his bed, patting the spot next to him as he gets his laptop and puts Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban on. I feel myself curl into him as he lifts his arm up. 

Yet as the fim starts all I can feel is those guys intentions, or their ideas on my skin. I can’t stop the trembling of my jaw and the sniffs anymore. Dan immediately pauses the film and glances down to me, not convinced without an explanation. “Somethings up. Less than an hour ago you were fine when we spoke.” He began to rub cirles on my right arm as I remained comfortable in his arm. “You can tell me, there’s no rush okay. You’re always safe here.” 

With a shaky breath I begin to explain the short incidence. How the two guys cornered me, and I wasn’t sure if they were just joking or if they had serious intentions behind it. As I continued to explain his grip on my arm tightened likewise did his jaw. By the time I finished I was curled tightly in a ball, feeling more comfortable as he held me and my legs were across his. “Dan?” He remained silent, eyes focused on his door. 

“If I ever find them, I swear.” He begins to say, in aln all too serious tone. 

Before he can continue a snigger escapes my lips, and he glances down, one brow raised. “I’m sorry, I just can’t take that seriously.” He feigns hurt before revealing that smile I know and lo- like. 

He mutters my name, making me pay attention to him again. His blue eyes reflect the sweetness I needed in this moment, that I craved as his hand rubs up and down my arm. “I won’t let anything hapen to you, and I know you wouldn’t either.” He begins and I roll my eyes. “No, you are. You’re strong, funny, incredibly thoughtful and managed to bring me out of my obnoxious shell.” 

I smile at his words, the kindess that laces his voice. “You’ve never said that before.” I mutter under my breath, but his movement alerts me he heard. 

“I should’ve sooner. You are you, no shame. And, and I like it a lot.” My cheeks turn the colour of the blossom that decorates my trousers, and my reactions causes a defeaning silence to replace the lighthearted atmosphere. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.” His arm begins to loosen around me, that shy phsyic returning after years. 

Sitting upright the words refuse to form, and he avoids my pleading glance that reveals the truth. Unsure what else to do I hold his hand in mine, he turns his head and I stroke his cheek, leaning forward slowly. He reacts in the same manner, moving closer until his eyes are in direct line with his. I search the blue depth for any uncertainty, but there’s none. The outer corners of his eyes rise and I shut mine, letting it happen. 

As I pull away we both chuckle quietly. “I like you a lot too. Thank you, Dan.” I whisper as I settle back in his arms and relax. He reaches forward to turn the film back on and softly kisses my forehead. 

It didn’t matter about the noise and celebrations surrounding us, we remained comfortable in this little space. For once, not falling apart. 

[nightingiall]

little do you know, chapter 15; almost home

Fact: “We are more creative at night and least creative in the afternoon.”

previous chapters + drabbles // read on 1dff

(trigger warning: mentions of an eating disorder. please read at your own discretion.) 

Mona was surrounded by warmth.

It seeped into her skin and filled her from the inside out. She’d never felt so comfortable in her life.

The nightmares had stopped and now she just couldn’t remember her dreams. But judging from the way she was waking up, it must have been something pleasant, because there was an unmovable smile on her face.

And then she felt it, the hands, pressed gently on her back, warm, strong arms embracing her. Her own hands were on him, one on the back of his shoulder and the other pressed to his heart, her head resting comfortably on his chest. His heartbeat was a steady thump, thump, thump against her palm and she found that her breaths matched it, even and calm, just how everyone liked her to be for these past couple of days. She sighed contentedly, shifting her head to look up at him, and for a moment, her smile grew even larger. It had been a while since she caught herself in this position with him, and all she could think about was how beautiful he was, even while asleep.

But then, reality kicked in, and the smile dropped from her face.

Damnit, she thought to herself.

As if reading her thoughts, Niall shifted, a tiny grunt sounding from his throat as he twisted his body into a more comfortable position. When he looked down at her with his sleepy eyes, Mona’s breath caught in her chest, and she wondered how anyone could keep their heartbeat steady when Niall looked at them like that. “G’mornin, my darlin’,” he breathed out, voice groggy and sleepy and adorable. Mona wanted to punch herself in the throat.

At Niall’s shifting limbs, another voice groaned, and Harry sat up from where he was sleeping on Niall’s other side, rubbing the heaviness from his eyes. He smiled at them before his eyes caught on the laptop sitting idly on the coffee table, screen dark from the battery long giving up on them, and his entire expression changed. “Shit,” he muttered, slumping back into the couch to card his fingers through his hair.

Liam had begun to jostle from where he was snoozing on the loveseat and as time stretched on, Mona began to panic. “I can’t believe we fell asleep,” she huffed, shifting out of Niall’s warm embrace and wrapping her arms around herself. “We were only supposed to watch one episode!”

Harry huffed, reaching over to connect Liam’s laptop to its charger. “Well,” he sighed as it booted back up, “looks like we watched an entire season.”

Mona groaned. They were over at Niall and Liam’s and they were supposed to be studying. How reviewing notes for upcoming midterms turned into binge watching the entire season of The Crown on Netflix, she had no idea. She wasn’t sure why they had a sudden obsession with the British monarchy last night, but she was surely regretting it now, because she had an exam in a few hours and she hadn’t studied nearly as much as she wanted to for it. She ran her fingers through her hair in frustration, her heart beating a little too fast for comfort. “Oh my god, I can’t believe we did this. I really need to pass this stupid test.”

Niall’s fingers closed around her wrist, and while his touch stopped feeling like it burned, it still had her flinching. “Relax,” he murmured as he tugged her closer to him. She’d been letting him do that for the past few days because she didn’t want to draw attention to her feelings on the...incident. And as much as she loved the way it felt when he had his arms wrapped around her, it still hurt way too much. “You still have time.”

She glanced at the time on Liam’s laptop and realized he was right. It was 6 am. But it wasn’t as if any of them got enough sleep.

Harry yawned. “I don’t, unfortunately.” He started to gather his books and notes, stretching as he stood up before heading to the door. “I’ll see you lot later, I guess. My exam’s in two hours.”

Liam scoffed, but pouted in sympathy nonetheless. “That’s what happens when you sign up for an 8 am.”

Harry scowled. It was a sore spot for him that they all liked to tease him about. He’d fallen asleep when registrations opened up and got stuck with an early morning class, something he endlessly complained about. “Have a nice day, everyone except Liam,” he muttered on his way out, and they all laughed as he shut the door behind him.

Mona felt the smile slip off her face as the jitters came back. Niall’s hand was still on her wrist, fingers stroking her skin lightly as an attempt to keep her calm, but all she felt was on edge. “I should, um,” she pulled her hand away from him, his warmth fizzling slowly from her skin. “I should go too.” She started to gather her books, but Niall leaned forward into her space, placing a hand on her thigh.

“Stay for breakfast?” he asked, voice lifted sweetly.

On any other day, Mona would’ve probably stayed. But right now, being around him had her feeling too much, and all she really needed was to get out of her own head. “Maybe next time,” she replied, trying to keep her voice even. “I really need to go over these notes. And maybe take a nap.”

At that, Niall laughed, her thigh feeling impossibly cold when he pulled his hand away. His eyes sparkled, even with that sleepy glaze, and her heart was so gone for it.

She sighed. She didn’t know what she was going to do with herself.

~

It was a bit past noon when Mona finally got back to her apartment.

She wasn’t sure how she did on that exam, but she was feeling okay about it. If she was being honest, all she really wanted to do was crawl into her bed and take a nap, and as she opened the front door to the apartment, she was determined to do just that.

But, alas, her life sucked lately, and so did her luck.

“Did she eat this morning? I’ve been trying to pay attention to her but she’s gotten so good at escaping me.” It was Harlow’s voice. She was talking to someone in the kitchen. Mona didn’t know why she did it, but she didn’t open the door all the way because it was visible from that side of the apartment. Instead, she kept it cracked slightly so she’d be able to hear what else Harlow was saying.

She huffed when she caught herself. She hated that she found herself in this position so often lately.

“Erm, I’m not too sure? She left pretty quickly this morning.” Mona rolled her eyes at the responding voice. It was Niall. She seemed to find the two of them whispering about her in odd places nowadays and it was getting on her last nerve. She wasn’t a child, she didn’t need them to look out for her all the time. “Actually now that I think about it, she picked around at her food last night too.”

Mona felt a lot of things over these past few days, but she hadn’t quite felt anger in the way she did at that moment. She could feel the shakes coming on again, but this time it was because there was a fire flaring up within her that she needed to breathe through and not wave of panic.

Inside, Harlow sighed. “I’m really worried about her.” She sounded very earnest, but that didn’t do anything to quell the anger growing inside Mona. “She hasn’t been taking care of herself and I’m worried—” she huffed, “I just don’t want to see her fall into the same bad habits she had when her dad passed away.” Harlow’s voice cracked then, and when Niall went ‘Oh, Harley,’ Mona imagined him to be pulling her into one of his warm hugs. “It was so hard to watch her like that and I don’t want her to go through that again.”

“Harls, we’ve got her, yeah?” Niall’s voice was soft and reassuring but it only made Mona more upset. “We’re not gonna let her get stuck inside her head.”

“I know, I know. Just—” there was a rattling and then the sound of a drawer being slammed shut. “I don’t even want her to have to go through it again. The panic attacks, the eating disorder—it all took such a toll on her and I don’t want to see her go down that hole again. I just want her to talk about her feelings sometimes so I can help her—”

But that was it. Mona had no interest in listening to what else Harlow had to say. Anger rolled through her like the waves before a storm and she couldn’t see straight with the way her blood boiled within her.

How could she tell him that? Mona’s deepest and most hidden truth. That was not Harlow’s story to tell and Mona couldn’t even believe her ears as the words came out of her mouth. Mona wanted to throw something or punch something or scream something, but she did none of that. Instead, she slammed the front door behind her as she walked into the apartment and heading straight to her room, not sparing Niall and Harlow a second glance as they gaped at her from the kitchen.

For good measure, she slammed the door to her bedroom too, the wood rattling on its hinges for a moment. Mona never really got angry. Frustrated and irritated, sure, but never this boiling fury that felt like it could rip through her at any second, never this molten lava in her veins that had her seeing red everywhere she looked.

She didn’t know how long she’d been pacing the length of her room to try and get rid of this frustrated energy coursing within her, but when there came a knock at her door, she was nowhere near calm.

“Mo?” Niall cracked the door open without waiting for a response from her. His blue eyes were bright and vibrant and she quickly looked away. She couldn’t look at him, which was actually a feeling she’d been having a lot lately. She didn’t know why, but sometimes she just—she couldn’t do it, she couldn’t look at him. Sometimes, it just hurt too much. “You alright, love?”

The term of endearment only caused the anger to flare up even higher inside her. She couldn’t see straight and she couldn’t breathe normally and she hated that her life had come to this, to a constant state of her having to try and count to ten and hope her heart rate went back to normal. “Get out, Niall.” Her voice was dangerously low and calmer than she expected it to be. It was the kind of tone that would make anyone step out of the way.

Apparently, not Niall, though. “Mo,” he sighed, the door creaking as he opened it wider to let himself inside. “Don’t do this, please. Please? Just talk to me, darlin’.” He must have been talking to his mom a lot lately, because his accent had gotten a lot thicker than she remembered.

She shook her head at herself. She couldn’t let herself be distracted right now. “Niall,” she gritted out, turning her back to him. “Get. Out.”

“Hey, I promise you if you just talk it out you’ll feel so much better.” Mona could tell he was slowly moving closer to her from the way his voice started to sound clearer in the haze of her mind. He was approaching her like she was a ticking time bomb, and in a way, she felt like she was. “Please? I don’t know how much you heard but please don’t be mad. Harlow just wants the best—”

“Oh my god why doesn’t anyone just listen to me.” There it was, the explosion. She never screamed at anyone, but at the strain she felt in her throat, she knew her voice was way too loud even for her. “I’m not a child, I don’t need you guys to feel like you have to baby me all the time! If you really wanted to help me feel better then you’d just get out!”

At the sound of something shattering, she snapped out of it. Her vision cleared up in time for her to watch Niall grimace before his eyes widened slowly in disbelief, and when she looked over to see the shards of what was once a snow globe littering the floor near the wall, she couldn’t believe herself either.

She gasped at herself, her hands coming up to cover her mouth. She hadn’t even realized she’d even picked up the snow globe from her dresser, much less thrown it at the wall. And while she wasn’t aiming at Niall and it went nowhere near him, she still couldn’t even fathom being angry enough to throw things while he was right there.

“I’m so sorry,” she breathed out, her voice horse and her head swimming. If she looked in the mirror right now, she literally wouldn’t recognize herself. She needed to get a grip.

“Mona, what the hell!” Harlow rounded the corner into her room and looked at the broken glass on the floor with horrified eyes. “What’s happening here?!”

Mona had backed up so much that her knees were hitting her bed and she was collapsing onto it. She heard Niall tell Harlow that everything was okay before he made his way towards her, this time, with less caution in his step. He kneeled down on the floor in front of her, hands tentatively reaching forward until they were smoothing over hers which were still covering her mouth. When he smiled up at her, Mona couldn’t help the way her lips wobbled.

“Hey, incredible Hulk,” he teased, reaching up to playfully shove at her shoulder. “You’re alright. Don’t freak out on me now.”

But it was too late. She was already shaking, a traitorous tear rolling down her cheek and dropping down onto the collar of her shirt. “I’m sorry.”

Niall sighed, and Mona wanted to full-on cry at the sound of it. She felt like everyone was so exasperated with her lately and it made her feel absolutely useless. He got up to sit beside her on the bed, and Mona covered her face with her hands when he tossed an arm over her shoulders, leaning his cheek on her head. “What can I do to make you not sad?” he asked quietly, though it sounded more like he was asking himself.

Mona huffed, falling back onto the bed and curling into herself, and Niall obviously did the same. There was a pillow between them now. Mona had so many on her bed because she needed them to make up for the emptiness of the other side. She still hadn’t gotten used to not being able to curl into his warmth like in the cabin days. She knew she should’ve put some distance between them then because it hurt so much now.

Niall curled his pinky finger into hers. “Hey,” he murmured, and when Mona opened her eyes, he was smiling at her. “Hi.”

Mona couldn’t help the way the corners of her lips twitched upwards. She hated how cute he was. “Hi.”

Niall tightened his finger around hers. “Are you okay?”

Mona’s breath hitched. It was instinctive to pull away, but she fought against it. She sighed. “No.”

She could tell Niall was nervous from the way he shifted slightly, his finger twitching as he fought against the urge to put his fingernails between his teeth. His voice was quieter this time, softer. “D’you wanna talk about it?”

Her immediate answer was no. But she knew Niall didn’t want that, and she’d disappointed him and everyone else enough for the past few weeks. She curled her lower lip between her teeth, nibbling at the bits of dry skin on the surface. “I didn’t have an—” She sighed. She couldn’t even bring herself to say it. Niall unlinked their pinkies so he could tangle all their fingers together, thumb stroking the back of her hand soothingly. “It’s not true.”

Silence stretched on between them. When it was clear Mona wasn’t going to say anything else, Niall chipped in to help her along. “What’s not true, darlin’?”

Mona gulped. She found herself shuffling closer to him. The warmth of his body was her safe space, and all she craved at the moment was to be as close as possible to him. It was such a stupid move, but she shoved away the pillow in between them, inching towards him, and she didn’t really have to shift all that much until he met her the rest of the way and wrapped his arms around her body. She immediately tucked her head into his chest. He was wearing a really soft sweater today, and it collected all of his warmth so well that when she pressed her cheek to it, it felt as if the warmth was bursting right into her skin.

Niall hugged her tightly. His hands stroked her wild hair down, fingers gentle and delicate over her skin. His heartbeat was a slow and steady thrum against Mona’s temples, and, like always, she found herself trying to match it. Niall was so warm, his skin so soft, his touch so comforting. Mona wondered if she’d ever feel this way with anyone else, like just their presence could make everything feel right, like being here, in their arms, would always feel like home.

“Mo,” Niall whispered, his lips moving over her forehead. “Please tell me what I can do to help you fix this. Please? I hate seeing you like this.”

Mona clenched her eyes shut. She hated feeling like she wanted to cry so much lately. Her emotions always felt like they were in overdrive nowadays, and all she really wanted to do was turn it all off.

She didn’t know how to respond to him. She nearly wanted to ask: How can I make you love me? How can I get over you? Why does everything have to be so complicated?

Instead, she said nothing, just curled her fingers into his soft sweater and tried not to let her feelings overwhelm her to the brink of tears. She needed to learn to get a hold of herself. Her whole life felt as if it were spiraling out of control and there was nothing she could do to get a grip on it to slow it down.

“Darlin’,” he murmured, and Mona hated the pleading she heard in his voice. “Please talk to me? Please?”

There was a lump in Mona’s throat. She felt like all the words were stuck there and she was suddenly choking on them, trying to breathe through them. She stuttered through a breath in the way people did when they were about to cry, and Niall immediately acted on it, his arms tightening significantly around her so that every inch of her was pressed to every inch of him. Mona held on to him for dear life. Her world was spiraling, she was spiraling.

“Okay, shhh, I’m here.” Niall shifted so he could move her up to the head of the bed. He maneuvered them so that he could get the sheet undone, and in the time it took for him to pull her back into her arms, she was already beginning to hyperventilate. “I’ve got you, darlin, I’m here.”

And, god, the words were right there. Right there, stuck in her throat, slowly seeping onto her tongue and all she had to do was spit it out. Niall, I’m in love with you. So, so much that I feel like I can’t breathe sometimes. That was all she had to say.

And, yet, it was all she couldn’t say.

Mona didn’t realize she was sobbing really loudly and forcefully until Niall was all up in her space, begging, “Mo, please, please, please, don’t cry, please.” He was sitting up and she was curled up in his lap and he was holding her close to his chest. He was leaned over her like a shield, arms holding on tight, and Mona brought her hands over her face, ashamed.

Her life was a mess.

She had flashes of a few nights ago, of these arms wrapped around her now being draped around someone else, of Niall’s eyes, glazed over in fondness, watching a girl that wasn’t her. She knew she should have pushed him away, it was the right choice. But how could she push away someone who was her safety net? Someone she loved more than anything else. Someone who was her home.

Niall let her cry and cry until she didn’t have anything left.

Until she felt numb enough to fall asleep.

~

It was absolutely frigid outside.

The wind felt like shards cutting into her face, which was the only bit of her skin that was exposed. Still, Mona didn’t really mind. She just wanted to feel nothing for a while, and the cold weather helped to distract her.

She wasn’t really sure how she ended up on the fire escape. To be honest, she didn’t even know whose fire escape she was on.

When she woke up, Niall wasn’t next to her. The other side of her bed was painfully cold and so was the surface of her skin. When she had managed to pull herself together and actually sit up, her head spun so bad that she had to lay back down for a few minutes. In hindsight, maybe that was what set her mood off-course.

Mona had gotten out of bed only to find Harlow packing things into a suitcase outside. She wasn’t sure why the sight of that had her spiraling again, but it only took Harlow saying, “Mona, you’re gonna have to start packing your things sooner or later because we’re leaving for San Francisco next week.”

She wasn’t sure what she did or said after that, but now she was on the fire escape freezing her ass off and feeling numb by it all. While she didn’t really want to go back inside to face reality, she knew that if she stayed out here for any longer, she’d get hypothermia or something. With a sigh, she shifted over to climb back into the apartment. When she closed the window and turned around, she realized she was up in Zayn’s and Harry’s place.

They were all sitting on the couch in the living room when she rounded the corner. Zayn and Harry were watching her carefully while Niall and Liam had more somber looks on their faces. Harlow was leaning on Zayn, eyes trained on her fingers. Mona suddenly had a flash of the moment she stormed out of the apartment. She had told Harlow that she couldn’t make her go to San Francisco, and that she’d have a better chance getting her to go if she were dead.

Remembering the words had her grimacing now. She’d never said such a thing before, and she could only imagine how it must have shaken Harlow.

“Mona,” Zayn was saying now, patting the empty space next to him on the couch. “We need to have a talk.”

Mona just stood there. She wasn’t sure how she must have looked to them, but on the inside, she felt nothing at all. “I think I just want to go to bed, thanks.” Her voice sounded empty, hollow. It was a bit alarming that she’d let herself spiral to this point.

At that, Harry sighed. “You said that last time, Namona.” That had her flinching. Harry never used her full name, and that was how she knew this was serious. “C’mon. Sit down.”

An upset Harry was never good, so she didn’t protest at that. She shuffled her feet towards them, taking the empty seat beside Liam instead. He was the only one that seemed a bit warm towards her at the moment, because as she sat down, he immediately reached over to place a comforting hand over hers. When she looked over at him, he sent her a reassuring smile.

She knew none of them meant any harm. They all just cared too much.

There was a very tense silence before Harry sat forward, hands clasped together in front of him as he rested his elbows on his thighs. “This is not healthy, Mo. We all saw what happened at the pub the other day, and we can’t have the same thing happening again just because you don’t know how to talk about your feelings.”

Mona gulped at that. She suddenly felt very nervous and kind of nauseous. She glanced over at Zayn, wondering if he told Harry about their talk on the fire escape, wondering if he even had to.

Liam was bumping his shoulder against hers just then, a comforting arm coming around her shoulders, and she easily leaned into him to rest her head on his chest. He was the only one that was able to get her to breathe that night, and his presence beside her now had her feeling a little less unnerved. “We’re here for you, Mo,” he said. “We just want you to trust us. Tell us what’s going on with you so we can help you through it.”

Mona closed her eyes at that. She didn’t want to start crying again, but deep down, she knew she would. She hated that she couldn’t seem to stop doing that lately. It really was quite awful.

“Mona,” Zayn started, and she didn’t have to open her eyes to know he was frowning. “We all love you. Please. Just talk to us.”

She really should have expected this intervention from the way she’d been acting lately. She hadn’t gone to work due to Jingle banning her until she could get her health up to par, which meant she was spending an unhealthy amount of time in bed when she wasn’t going to class. It really was behavior that was cause for concern.

She gulped, the words coming out of her without her having to think about it. “I’m scared,” she breathed out, voice croaking. She wondered how hard she’d screamed at Harlow at the strain she felt in her throat. Once she’d said it out loud, she realized how true it was. She was petrified of having to face the next week, and she couldn’t seem to shake the anxiety it caused her. “I just—I don’t want to go back.”

Niall was leaning forward at the break in her voice, clearly recognizing the first telltale signs of oncoming tears. Her mind flashed to earlier in the day, when he was begging her to talk to him. She couldn’t look at him now. Her broken heart was giving a pang of pain that was resonating in all of her bones, and she was glad Liam was holding her when she took the first gasp for air from the sobs she was holding back taking her breath away.

“Oh, Mo,” Harry was sighing, his voice very sad and very concerned. He quickly moved to tuck himself into her other side, arms coming around her in a tight hug.

“God,” Mona groaned in frustration, her hands coming up to cover her face. She was so ashamed of herself right now, of her inability to pull herself together. “I really don’t want to go back. Please don’t make me go back.”

Suddenly, they were all around her, squeezing into each other on the loveseat even though they all couldn’t fit. Harlow crouched down in front of her, eyes brimming with tears when Mona just could not, for the life of her, stop crying. “Mona darling, don’t say that,” she said softly, hands clutching Mona’s. “You’re so strong. You can do this.”

Mona shook her head, noticing that her tears seeped into Liam’s shirt. “I’m not.” She didn’t know when she’d gotten so deep in this hole of self-deprecation but she couldn’t seem to dig herself out of it now.

“You are,” Harry was saying beside her. “The only thing stopping you is yourself.”

Mona curled into herself. Somehow, she managed to draw a deep breath just as a new wave of sobs tried to rip through her throat, her mind clearing up slightly. “What are you so afraid of?” Zayn asked, his hand resting on the space between her shoulders. He was perched on the arm of the loveseat behind Harry. “Why exactly don’t you wanna go back to Cali?”

Mona gulped. It was a good question. One that she wasn’t sure she had the answer to. But, she had a general idea of what bothered her so much about California. “It’s gonna remind me too much of my dad and I’m not sure I’m ready to face it.”

Zayn moved from his spot to crouch in front of her like Harlow was. His eyes were impossibly honest and determined, and aside from his perceptive nature, it was her favorite thing about him. Zayn never sugarcoated anything, and it was a quality that was well-appreciated by all of them. “But, babe, don’t you want the closure? Maybe if you just go back and face your fears it won’t hurt as bad anymore?”

“Mo,” piped in Niall who was sitting beside Liam. “We’re all gonna be there with you, yeah? You’re not alone.”

Harry put out his hand. “We’re in this together.”

Harlow was the first to put her hand in, then Zayn, then Liam. When Mona looked over at Niall, he was already smiling at her, bright blue eyes glimmering as he put his hand in as well. She didn’t have to think about what she did next, because with all of her friends by her side, she knew she wasn’t as alone as she thought she was.

“Together,” she said, placing her hand on top of all of theirs, and they all cheered, leaning in for a huddle. Mona closed her eyes, taking in all the warmth radiating from all of them, and she suddenly felt calmer than she had in weeks. “I love you guys.”

That resulted in a roar of laughter and cheers from the boys. “She loves us, she loves us!” cackled Harry, and Mona rolled her eyes. She hated them sometimes as well.

But in that moment, nothing else really mattered.

Because she was going to San Francisco, yes, but she’d have her family by her side through it all.

[letspretendfictionpressworks]

body language 6

We sleep a while, apparently. The late evening sun is long fallen, and the living room is limned in nothing but the pale streams of moonlight and a faint glow from the TV—still turned on, but the screen black—when something gently nudges me.

  I lazily blink my eyes open. My pillow isn’t as soft as I’m used to, yet it’s oddly comfortable. My neck is complaining at the awkward angle the rest of my body is resting at, though.

  “Hey.”

  I lift my head and peer around the dark. I realize then that it was not, in fact, a pillow that I was laying on. It was Trevor’s side. As things outside of sleep and dreams come to me, I start to become cognizant of the fact that one of my arms is crumpled under me, the other is wrapped loosely around some part of Trevor (his stomach?), and my legs are tangled in something—his legs, I think, but I don’t look to check. Instead, I’m looking at Trevor, who’s speaking to me, and trying to convince my brain to make sense of his words.

  “Maybe we should move to the bed,” he says, voice thick with sleep.

  The bed. We tried that, and we didn’t get very far. Trevor has never been with another man, does not know how to be with another man, and I’m too tired to try to take him through the steps—

  But my sleep-addled brain finally makes logic of that sentence. Trevor isn’t asking me to his bed for sex. Or, at least, I don’t think he is. But my thoughts can’t find each other yet, still lost in my dreams somewhere, and I can’t figure out how to work my tongue and mouth to form words to ask anything. Instead, I nod.

  “You have to get up first,” Trevor tells me, managing to sound amused.

  And, again, I don’t have the thought capacity to use my mouth and question or say anything, so I wordlessly sit up. Hide a yawn behind my hand. Trevor gets up and takes a few steps, and I’m momentarily confused where he’s going despite what he just said because my brain is still not working.

  He notices my hesitation and returns to my side, gently nudges me to my feet, leads me to his bedroom. My thoughts are locked on the hand wrapped around mine, the warmth of those fingers and his palm. I’m startled when he gives me a small shove that results in me sprawling across his bed. I feel like I’m sleep walking, everything fuzzy and out of focus. But I never had a sleep walking experience before, so maybe that’s not what it’s like.

  I open my mouth and try to remember how to speak, to say that I’m not sure I’m up for the task of leading Trevor through his first time with another guy, but the bed jerks again as he flops into it, very ungracefully. He rolls so he’s facing me and it’s his turn to hide a yawn.

  “This is more comfortable, right?” he asks, his eyes already drifting shut, his long eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks.

  I’m too tired to feel the full brunt of embarrassment I normally would, too relieved that I’ve been invited to his bed to sleep with no further expectations. Perhaps as a result of that, I don’t think about it—I just move so that our bodies curve against each other, laying close enough to Trevor that it’s his body heat that keeps me warm as I return to the blissful oblivion of my dreams.

  ***

  Ice cold. Wet. Freezing cold. Everywhere. Drenched in it.

  I gasp as my eyes shoot open. I feel like I’m drowning in a frosted, winter lake. I wonder if I can break the sheet of ice that’s above me. I’m convinced that I’m not going to be able to breathe when I draw in breath. I think I’m going to suffocate.

  But I sit up sit. There’s air. I’m breathing it and I feel it against my skin, chilling me and causing goosebumps to slide up over my skin. I’m wet, but I’m not drowning. I’m not even underwater.

  I look around. The morning sun is slicing through the room, the bright rays almost painful to my eyes. Next to me, Trevor is sitting up, looking around. As equally confused as I am, apparently.

  That’s when I see the woman, her face set into a fierce and stony expression, her eyes ablaze with rage. There’s a pitcher in her hand. The lid is removed, and she’s holding it at an angle that allows me to see that it’s empty.

  Ah. I shiver, and understand now where the water came from.

  “Wha?” Trevor mumbles, still piecing things together, still bleary and sleep-mussed.

  “I,” the woman says, her voice firm and cold, “cannot believe this.”

  Her voice jolts something in Trevor, and it hits me that I should be worried about how this woman got into the apartment. Does she have a key? I somehow doubt she’s a burglar. It sounds self-detrimental to wake the occupants of a house you’re trying to burglarize.

  Trevor scrambles to his feet, an expression of disbelief on his face. He looks around for a shirt to cover his bare chest, and I wonder when that came off. The woman looks disgusted with him and throws a hand up in a dismissive gesture. I can’t even deal with you, it says. She turns to leave the bedroom with a disgusted scoff.

  Trevor hurries to follow her, trying to figure out which hole of his shirt is appropriately sized for which part of his anatomy. I can only assume, then, that she is not a would-be thief. Yet, somehow, this does not comfort me.

  “What are you doing here?” Trevor asks, a slight angle of something sharp in his voice. Not enough to cut, but enough to feel that the words aren’t entirely friendly.

  “What am I doing here?” the woman asks, a more hysterical note to her voice, something close to incredulity. “I’m sorry—should I have knocked before I came into my apartment?”

  Indeed, I am not comforted.

  “It’s not your apartment,” Trevor says. “It’s mine. You were just staying with me, remember?”

  “Yes, I think I remember that,” the woman retorts. “It was just you and me, not you and—who is that, exactly?”

  I can only assume she gestures somehow to the bedroom and I shrivel, feeling like the intruder in this situation. Maybe if I make myself small enough, I can just disappear.

  But I don’t disappear. Not even close.

  So I move the blankets, hoping maybe I can hide myself under them. It’s childish and won’t solve anything, but my brain is still waking up, my thoughts feel a little sluggish, and maybe I’m hoping I can drift back off to sleep and find this has all been an odd dream. Pleasant at parts, and a shade away from a nightmare at others.

  “Oh,” Trevor says, a bitter note resonating in that single word. “You take issue with finding me in my bed with someone else?”

  There’s a sharp gasp, and I can only assume it’s from the woman. It’s a noise of betrayal, and it cuts at me like a blade.

  I wonder if what Trevor and I did counts as true infidelity. Possibly. Probably.

  These blankets are terrible, and I cannot hide under them. They are wet and cling to me, and it’s suffocating and I cannot stay under them, cannot convince them to make me vanish.

  “I wanted to—I didn’t want—” the woman tries to say, but falters.

  I am not so naïve as to believe that most people don’t cheat on their partners. Of course I’m not.

  I used to allow people to rent my time and body in exchange for money. I never asked if the money that I received should have been spent on spouses or children. I never asked if someone was buying my time and body to escape a marriage.

  It wasn’t my business to pry. It wasn’t my place to ask.

  I know I played a hand in affairs and adultery before. I just never saw the offended party.

  As it turns out, it’s a terrible thing to see.

  After a moment of cutting silence, the woman speaks again.

  “I wanted to come back and talk to you,” she says, sounding pleading and bitter at the same time.

  “I thought we could fix things between us,” she says, her voice teetering away from its bitterness, more towards pleading.

  “I thought we could get past this,” she says, all the sharp edges disappearing, replaced with a sad kind of vulnerability.

  “I thought so, anyway,” she says, and she sounds on the verge of tears.

  “How,” she says, her voice hardening with anger, “could you do this to me?”

  I’m something worth reconsidering, I wanted to tell Trevor yesterday. I should have said it.

  I can’t hide under the blankets. I can’t hide at all. So I move until I’m as far away from the door as I can be; so I can’t glimpse anything in the small window of visibility I could have if I wanted; so I can’t see anything except what is in this room with me now. The blanket, heavy with water. The sheets, damp with moisture. The pillows, still indented from where our heads laid minutes before.

  I pull my legs up to my chest, my back resting against the headboard, and I close my eyes.

  “I didn’t do anything to you,” Trevor says, his voice too calm—the sort of false calm that comes from forced self-restraint. “I would have thought it was clear we were done when I found you and my best friend—in my bed.”

  There’s a silence, so absolute that it has a knife-like sharpness to it.

  I close my eyes and rest my forehead against my knees. Wrap my arms around myself.

  I just want to disappear.

  “I—” the woman tries to say, but she gets no further.

  “I don’t want to argue,” Trevor interrupts her. He sounds so very tired, so very suddenly. “And I don’t want to fight. Just leave your key and get out.”

  There’s another silence, thick with tension. I can only imagine the wordless conversation—is she using her eyes to argue or plead her case?

  But after several long moments, I hear a faint metallic clatter, and then a door opening and closing.

  She gave up her key, apparently. She left. She’s gone.

  I let out a breath I did not realize I was holding.

  Trevor returns to the bedroom, looking thoroughly disheveled. His hand is running through his hair, making it even look more mussed than sleep did. I peer up at him cautiously, still feeling nervous.

  He sees me and freezes in the doorway. His hand falls out of his hair. It sticks up at odd angles.

  “I’m sorry,” he says, and clears his throat. “I didn’t think…”

  He drifts off, and I scramble for an explanation of what just happened.

  Girlfriend, he said yesterday. His box of chocolates was for a girlfriend, right?

  “That was…?” I try to ask, but my mouth, my throat, my tongue aren’t working. I can’t finish the question. My thoughts are moving too fast to allow me any brain activity to power my words.

  “Ex-girlfriend,” Trevor says, offering me a tight, tense smile. “Newly so.”

  “Oh,” I manage to say, a soft exhalation.

  Trevor looks distracted, his own thoughts obliviously whirring, but for different reasons, over different things. I feel so very awkward and out of place, and I don’t belong here right now.

  I try to express this to him, and I clear my throat. But my mind and my mouth are so very detached from one another right now. Words don’t come when I try to force them, so I clear my throat again and again, hoping at some point I’ll lodge the words free.

  “I should go,” I finally manage, relaxing my stiff position to get to my feet.

  Trevor looks surprised but doesn’t argue, moving aside from where he was leaning against the bedroom doorframe so I can pass. It isn’t until I’m slipping on my shoes and jacket, at the front door, about to leave, that I notice he’s followed me.

  “Well,” Trevor says, a bit too loudly. He clears his throat, and I recognize it as the nervous gesture it is. It causes me to hesitate, to turn and face him.

  “Well,” Trevor says again, “we never finished that movie. So you wanna come back over to finish watching it?”

  I open and close and open my mouth.

  “Friday, maybe? I get off around five, so would seven work for you?”

  I close my mouth again. My tongue is as dry as sunbaked sand. But I manage to croak, “Yeah, seven works for me.”

  There’s a flash of—something—that’s gone before I can register it. Then Trevor smiles, that small upturn of the one side of his mouth. “I’ll be waiting here for you then.”

  “Okay,” I agree easily, yet again amazed at how his smiles offer me so much comfort.

  But I still don’t feel like I belong here right now.

  So I open the door to his apartment.

  And I leave.

[chibinekochan]

Vanderweek — day 2

For this day I wrote an fanfic. Thank you @n3sh3r0x for proof reading this for me you are the best.

Hunt the morning sun — supernatural Au It was a day like many others.

 Once again he stood there, waiting for the sun to set. He smoked one last cigarette and checked his equipment one last time. His guns were ready and he had enough holy water and rock salt. He’d done this many times and knew that soon the time would come when his Job would be the cause of his death.

 Vanderwood didn't really care, though; he had nothing left to lose. The sky turned red, he knew this was his starting signal. He dropped his cigarette on the ground and stepped on it. Vanderwood had his eyes fixed on the building in front of him. He held his gun and without another thought, went into the ruins of the building. If the rumors were right, then this building was the resting place of the one he was searching for.

 Vanderwood had searched for this creature-  over 2 years now. Ever since that thing had killed his only friend, Vanderwood’s only goal was to hunt it down. Countless hours were spent searching everywhere for its hunting pattern and for a way to kill it. Vanderwood could only hope that his information about this monster was true.

Making his way into the cellar, it turned out to be way bigger than he’d expected. That was good, he knew his enemy well by now. It preferred houses with huge underground areas. Vanderwood walked up to one of the walls.

If his research was right, then there would be an opening somewhere around here. Vanderwood moved a huge shelf out of his way.

 “There it is.” He smirked slightly. Vanderwood took his night vision goggles and put them on. If the enemy spotted his light, it would destroy his surprise attack. Carefully, he moved into the tunnel in front of him. He walked slowly along the walls of the tight corridor; all his attention on his surroundings, he couldn't tell where they would attack from.

He checked every small room, but there was nothing but rocks in all of them.

 It couldn't be helped; he kept moving forward.

 Ahead of him was a fork in the path.

 Right or left?

The left looked like it was in better condition, but somewhere in his guts he felt that it was the right path instead.

 He chose the right path.

 It was more difficult to walk as there were a lot of obstacles in his path. Maybe the other path was right after all.

 It was then that he spotted a door.

It was intact… That was strange.

 Vanderwood knew this could mean two things: either someone thought that putting a very well secured door in a tunnel would be smart or that his enemy was really hiding here somewhere.

He’d wasted no time on thinking, immediately taking out his tools and opening the locked door without any issues.

This lock really never stood a chance against him.

Behind the door, he found another tunnel.

 This one looked completely intact and well maintained. Vanderwood found this quite surprising. He went inside and followed the straight path. He found another door- this time, a very sturdy one.

 Vanderwood wondered if they hid gold in here somewhere. It really would be annoying to go through all of this just for some gold. It took a bit longer this time, but he was able to open the door. Behind it was a corridor with doors, ones that looked like cells.

 What a strange place. Maybe it was their food storage. Vanderwood was curious enough to check it out.

He looked inside one of the cells and he saw somebody in a corner.

 Was this a human child or... something else?

Suddenly the ‘person’ moved and looked at Vanderwood. It was a boy- he looked like a teenager.

 The boy looked afraid but he didn't look away.

 “Hey, you aren’t one of them, are you?”

 “No... and you?” Vanderwood couldn’t be too careful.

 “No, I’m not one of those things... Have you seen my brother?”

 “I haven't seen anyone here, except you.”

 “They took him away…”

 Vanderwood knew this meant that his brother was probably as good as dead... or worse.

 “I see...”

 Vanderwood didn't dare to tell the boy what he thought.

 “Can you let me out then…? So I can look for him.”

 “Come closer to the door.”

 The boy didn't wait another second and got up.

 When he got close enough, Vanderwood sprays a liquid on him.

 “Ahh! What is that, some kind of acid?!”

 “Calm down, it was just holy water. I had to make sure that you were not a monster.”

 Vanderwood opened the Cell door to let the boy out.

 “Wait, how can I be sure that you aren’t a monster yourself?”

 “This is the wrong moment to get suspicious of me.”

 “Well you could try to get information out of me.”

 “What kind of information could a little kid like you even have?”

 “Well, I don't know… But still!”

 Vanderwood sighed and sprayed a small amount of holy water on himself.

 “There, are you happy now?”

 “Well, who knows if that was even holy water.”

 “I really don't have time for such games. Just go through that open door and leave if you don't trust me.” Vanderwood said, pointing to the door he’d just come through.

 “No, I can't leave; I have to find my brother!”

 “Fine, but stay behind me or I can't guarantee​ your safety.”

 Vanderwood understood the boy's desire to find his brother, even when finding him would probably scar him for life.

 “Okay deal, what is your name ?” The boy smiled shyly.

 “That shouldn’t concern you...”

 “Okay, then I’ll call you old man!”

 Vanderwood made a very annoyed sound.

 “Vanderwood.”

 “Huh, What was that old man?”

 “My name is Vanderwood.” He sighed.

 “I figured, and you have no sense of humor. My name is Luciel.”

 “Your parents had a strange sense of humor too, hm?”

 “Not really, this is the name the church gave me and really, you’re the one to talk, Vanderwood.”

 Luciel was laughing and Vanderwood was sighing again. This would be a very long night.

 “Let's get going, before I ‘accidentally’ kill you...”

Vanderwood gave Luciel a menacing glare, making the boy shut up.

They made their way to the only other door.

Vanderwood had his weapon ready as he opened the door.

 Nothing.

It was way too quiet.

 He looked around carefully. Luckily, his new-found companion at least knew when to hold his tongue.

 It really looked like they’d left this place.

 “What a bust.”

 Vanderwood sighed again. Well, at least he saved that kid.

 “Not really, I found this computer here.” Luciel pointed at it and walked up to it, turning it on.

 Vanderwood watched Luciel as he hacked into the Computer with ease. He had to admit that it was impressive.

 “Ah, here! Look, they brought my brother somewhere, but I’ve never heard of this place.”

 Vanderwood looked at the screen.

 “Mint Eye... Interesting. I really wonder how you got involved with this cult.”

 “Cult?”

“Yes, I happen to know something​ about it and they’re up to no good, for sure. I’ve been hunting one of them for a while now.”

 “Huh... So you’re on a man hunt?”

 “No, the one I’m hunting​ is a demon. One of the worst kind.”

 “Sounds like a big fish.”

 “Yes, he is a high ranked member of Mint Eye.”

 “So you can tell me where this place is?”

Luciel points to the location.

 “No, this place is new to me. It’ll mean your death if you go there.”

 “But my brother…”

 “I hate to say this, but he’s either dead or already taken over.” Vanderwood hated bringing bad news, but he had no choice.

 “No! Rika told us that she needed us as we are...”

 Vanderwood was surprised to hear that name.

 “What exactly did she say?”

 “She said that in order to make paradise a reality, she would need us both to stay humans.”

 Vanderwood closed his eyes. Who thought that he would find such an important part of Mint Eye's end goal in such a place. Still, going to one of their hideouts with a child would be stupid.

 “I see… Let’s go then, Luciel.”

“Will you really take me there?”

“No, I will bring you to a safe place.”

 “But my brother-!”

 “I will get him if I can.” Vanderwood knew that he couldn't promise anything.

 “I will go there, even if you drop me off somewhere. I will find this place!”

 Suddenly, Vanderwood hears a sound. Turning around quickly, something tries to jump at him.

 Vanderwood is faster though and the creature gets hit with a bullet between its eyes. The creature drops to the ground.

Luciel looks like he just witnessed the coolest thing ever and Vanderwood knows it is time to go before more of these come.

 “Come on, let’s go.”

 Luciel nods and they make their way to the entrance door.

 “Can I have a gun too?”

 “No, you can have this.”

 Vanderwood hands the bottle with the holy water to Luciel.

 “I can't kill anything with this.”

 “You can keep them away from you and that will save your life.”

 “Fine, but if I die I'll haunt you.”

 “I’ll exorcise you then.”

 “Wow, you can do that too?!”

 “You can be impressed later. Get prepared for whatever’s lurking outside.”

 Vanderwood looks dead serious and Luciel holds his spray bottle with holy water in front of him.

 Vanderwood opens the door.

 It’s still dark outside but Vanderwood can see the creatures that are lurking around in the woods.

 “Run in that direction. There is an old house, and in front of it is my car.”

Vanderwood points in the direction.

 “What about you?”

 “I can take care of myself. Run.”

 Luciel nods and starts to run.

 The creatures come closer while Vanderwood moves slowly away from them. He shoots at them but they aren’t going down with one bullet. This was really an annoyance to Vanderwood.

There were way too many of them; fortunately, Luciel got away.

They drew closer and closer.

 If it really had to end tonight, then that is how it will be. Vanderwood only regrets that he couldn't avenge his partner.

 Vanderwood was surrounded and the bullets will not be enough for all of them.

 What a shame.

They were almost close enough to attack him.

 That’s when he suddenly heard the sound of a motor and then saw a car- driving at a high speed towards the monsters. Vanderwood couldn't see anything thanks to his night vision goggles. He heard the breaks of the car screaming.

 “Vanderwood, get in fast!”

It was Luciel’s voice.

Vanderwood got up and found the car door opem. He got in and closed the door. Immediately Luciel starts driving again.

 “That was a close one. I had no idea you could drive.”

“I had no Idea either.”

“That means you can't drive...”

“Nope, not at all...”

 Vanderwood can slowly make Luciel out and he is smiling.

“Stop once we are back on a road, then I’ll take over.”

“I saved your life, by the way.”

“I was about to thank you, but now you can forget about that...”

“Now you won't drop me off anywhere, right?”

“No, I won't, but we have to be prepared... Unless you want to die.”

“So, you’ll train me?”

“Yes.”

 Vanderwood sighs again.

This’ll be really annoying, he just knows it.