#maybe its a button he keeps accidentally hitting? i would sympathize with that

[freebooter4ever]

👍👍👍

[coffeecomicsgalore]

Golden Boy’s Cursed Day

Coming at you with a crack fic that popped into my head today. 

Poor Mr. Golden Sunshine Boy is just having the unluckiest day ever.

Ao3

Adrien, Mr. Golden Sunshine Boy, Paris’s elite teen supermodel, super fan of the amazing Ladybug, would be considered to have all the luck in the world. He’s rich, famous, has whatever he could desire. Yeah, sure, that’s what everyone who lives outside the picket fence would say and Adrien being the composed fool that he is emits the aura of good luck. But today? Today? Well, let’s just pretend that the word ‘luck’ decided it needed to be on the other side of Paris, hiding its face from the golden ball of sunshine.

Strike that. Luck was on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean pointing and laughing hysterically at him while the dark clouds decided to hover over his head pouring all the possible rain it could from its body.

Today, he was the epitome of bad luck and the cackling of the little god of destruction did not help his mood. Nope, not one bit.

It all started early this morning when an akuma disrupted the one hour of sleep that he got in between photo shoots, lessons, and homework. It was a particularly hard one, spending most of their waking moments defeating it.

When Adrien finally got to bed, he closed his eyes only for his alarm to go off five minutes after settling his head in the comfiest position on the bed, reminding him that it was time to get himself ready with his early morning prep. But instead of getting up like he should have, he decided to hit the snooze button for another 10 minutes of rest and ultimately fell into a deep sleep.

So deep in fact, that he didn’t hear the knock on the door reminding him it was time to get up.

Or the knock when it was time to eat his breakfast.

Or the knock when it was time to exit his room and head to the car and head to school.

Finally, a nudge under his rib stirred him enough to open his sleep filled eyes. When his eyes finally cleared of the blurriness, he noticed a dark figure hovering above him, scaring him into a frenzied panic. Without thinking, he threw a punch into the figure’s general direction and ended up almost punching the figure, who was coincidentally Nathalie, in the face (luckily, she was able to dodge most of the force, only being grazed with a knuckle against her cheekbone) but the sheer panic caused him to fall off the bed before falling on the floor and clutching his chest in a heaving mess.

He finally got to school, an hour later than normal, missing homeroom completely, and entered his first class halfway through an unplanned physics test. Groaning over the luck, he got to work on completing what he could, only being able to complete half of it in the time frame. Well I can at least get a 50%, he thought, but when the teacher announced that it was a peer review exam, he got his test back shortly after realizing he used all the wrong formulas and getting a 0 on the exam.

Shit.  

Grumbling to himself, he tried to take a sip of his purple soda when Ivan accidentally knocked into him, coating his white over shirt in a wet, purple mess. At least it wouldn’t be seen on his black top. Looking down, he noticed that his pants took some of the spill and a wet spot in the worst possible place could be seen. It didn’t help that his longtime friend decided that she had embarrass him further when she ran up to him, giggling in her own snarky yet friendly demeanor with a “Adrikins! You couldn’t make it the bathroom? Utterly ridiculous, even for you.”

He could feel his skin burning from both embarrassment and festering anger, but he just took a deep breath and headed to the locker room to change in another set of clothes. Luckily, he had an extra set in his locker just in case. Can’t have the face of the brand’ be covered in crap, he thought with an eye roll.

By French class, he realized he left his homework on his desk at home and couldn’t pass it in. Muttering a passable excuse, the teacher sympathized with him and opted to give him half-credit if he brings it in the next day. Now he just had to remember it to stuff it in his bag and bring it in.

By PE, he was already annoyed and feeling the pressure of the dark cloud hovering over him that he didn’t see the dodge ball being hurled in his direction. Kim had planned a surprise attack on Alix, but Adrien happened to walk into the line of fire.  

Adrien startled himself awake and realized he was no longer in the gymnasium. He noticed the stark white room of the nurse's office and noticed a very worried Marinette sitting quietly beside him. One hand was holding his hand closest to her, while the other was holding something cold that was pressed against his face.  

Marinette smiled when she noticed him awake and shushed him sweetly calming down the nerves that plagued his mind.

“You happened to take a bad hit from a dodge ball and was knocked out from the impact.” She removed the ice pack from his face to assess the damage. Placing the ice pack back on his eye, she continued. “I carried you here.”  Great. Just great. This amazing, petite girl who shouldn’t be physically able to carry his dead weight around, carried his unconscious body to the nurse's office. What’s next, world? Seriously, what’s next?  

It didn’t take him long to realize what was next. Now sporting a black eye and a cut lip, Adrien walked into the next class where an upper classman decided to place a kick me sign on the back of his shirt. How did he know it was there? When another classmate decided to buckle his knee from behind and then steal his chair as he tried to sit down in his seat.

If an akuma was around, there would be no stopping him being akumatized.

Just get me now, Hawkmoth!  He yelled in his head.

As if the world decided to throw him another wrench, the school announcement system startled the students. “Akuma! Please exit the classroom in an orderly fashion.”  

What. The. Fuck.  

Another difficult akuma. Another of him being controlled by said akuma. Ladybug having to fight most of the battle alone, and luckily,  just luckily , Alya had captured the battle on a live feed. Adrien couldn’t ignore the crushing weight in his mind, so he watched the replay to try to ease it only to have a front row viewing of all the hateful things Chat Noir said towards Ladybug.

Great. Just keep it coming.  

His father had magically allowed Adrien to stay at school for lunch. Nothing else had happened since the akuma was defeated, so maybe his luck was returning? He was happily talking to Nino as the two walked towards the table where Alya and Marinette were sitting at. Adrien didn’t pay attention to his surroundings and barely registered the Adrien! Wait! coming from Marinette’s mouth before slipping on something and falling flat on his back, the entire contents of his tray falling on top of him.

The entire lunchroom went dead silent as he placed the tray on his head hoping to hide from the embarrassment.  

That’s where the day had brought him, hiding under the tray thinking back to the entirety of the day and how his luck brought him to this very moment. He wanted to shrivel up and phase into the floor, just like Plagg usually does when he needs to hide from the world.  

When he heard Nino, Alya, and Marinette surround him, he moved the tray slightly to peak at them with one eyeball and then told them he was hiding there until the end of the day. Marinette removed the tray, Nino picked him up off the floor, and Alya started to grab napkins to help clean up whatever was caked on his face.

Looking at the mess of the floor, he didn’t notice Marinette whispering something in Alya’s ear, or the nod Alya gave in return, but he did hear Marinette taking in a heavy breath before grabbing Adrien’s hand and pulling him with her out of the school.

“Marinette? Where are you taking me?”

“You’re coming to my house. I have a set of clothes that you can have and you can use my shower to get cleaned up. You won’t have time to go home and do any of that and I only live right across the street.”

Not even thinking, the dreaded words rushed out of his mouth. “You sure like to help out stray cats when they need it most, huh princess?”

Marinette stopped dead in her tracks and took one look at him with the ferocity of Ladybug’s before he realized what came out of his mouth.  

What the fuck times a million.  

Marinette closed her eyes, took in a heavy breath, and smiled at him in such a scary way that Adrien wished he could cataclysm the ground and swallow himself whole.

Ladybug was going to kill him. No. Not just kill. Murder him in the worst possible way and then bury his body deep into the ground where no one would be able to find him. He was dead. So dead. Goodbye Plagg. I hope the newest Chat Noir will be good to him and give him as much cheese as he wants and-  

“Silly kitty.” Marinette said as she tugged him back along across the street. She said it in such a sweet way that it pulled Adrien out of his thoughts. “Let’s go get you cleaned up and I will feed you to your heart’s content. And I’ll bring up a cheese danish for Plagg too.”

Wait, she wasn’t shocked? She’s not mad that I spilled my secret identity to her? Or freaking out that I’m the cat that keeps showing up to her balcony... Wait. Plagg? She knew who Plagg was? How does she know Plagg?  His eyes shot open. “Marinette? Are you-? You know-?”  

Marinette turned around quickly and placed her finger to his lips. “Not here, not now, and yes.”

Adrien.exe has stopped working.  

He didn’t remember walking through the bakery doors. Or saying hello to Marinette’s parents. Or being shoved into her bathroom with a new shirt, pants, socks, and boxers (note to ask her later why she has clothes his size). Only when the cold water started hitting his face was when he realized where he was.

Walking back towards her kitchen was when Adrien noticed Marinette finished up scooping a plate of dumplings from the pot on the stove. He sat down and quietly gave his thanks as she handed him the meal. He didn’t want to look up at her, but he knew the inevitable question needed to be said. He knew there was no way around this. He blurted out his identity and per the rules...

“Are you going to tell me I need to give up my miraculous now that I’ve given away my identity?” He said sadly as he moved the dumplings around in his bowl. Marinette looked up at him without saying a word. “I’m sorry My L- Marinette. I never meant to blurt it out. It just happened out of nowhere! This day was the day from hell and I wasn’t even thinking and now that you’re the guardian, I know you like the rules, and... and... at least let me say goodbye to Plagg first!”

Marinette set her spoon down carefully and folded her hands on her lap. “I’m not going to take your Miraculous from you. You slipped. It was an accident, a dumb one at that, but at least you said it to the one person who understands and won’t make a fuss about it.”

Oh.  

“Plus, do you think that I could replace you? My kitty and my best friend, the two boys that I care the most about in this world is sitting in front of me as one person. I couldn’t replace you in my life even if I tried – which I won’t by the way.” She picked her spoon back up and started to gather some broth before taking a sip. “This is fine. I’m fine. You’re fine. We are fine.”

Adrien furrowed his brows as he watched her in an eerily composed state. “Marinette, I know you. Why aren’t you freaking out?”

“Oh, I’m freaking out. Badly. But I’m internalizing it until later when I can scream into my pillow.” She said with a smile. “Right now, I just want to make sure you are fed and that we get back to class without another clothing change.”

Adrien let out a breath that he was holding in. “Okay. Maybe my luck is turning around now. I have my lady and my best friend sitting in front of me. You gave me clothes and carried me-” Adrien turned bright red. “Now I know why you were able to carry me to the nurse's office! You don’t look as strong as you are. I bet everyone else said the same thing!”  

“Yup. Plus, you were saying some adorable things while you were knocked out. Something about Ladybug and her amazing ability of being strong?” She smirked. “And how my hands felt so soft without the suit? Yeah. Something like that.”

Adrien groaned as he hit his head against the table. Just kill me now. Stop my misery please! I beg you.  

“Nope. Sorry kitty. Not letting anyone kill you today.”

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“Nope.” She said as she popped the ‘p’. “This is just too good to let go. Not for a very loooooong time.”

Dammit.