#maybe it's more immersive?
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#🎤 mic check#talking about outlast made me think of this debate again#i don't think there's a right answer but if you wanted to rb and tag your reasoning#go for it#this is something that's interesting to me#bc personally i hear a lot of people explain that 'ohhh hiding in lockers is never scary you know it's gonna work'#'you need the uncertainty of having to defend yourself'#and that makes sense to me! but no matter what#hide-and-seek horror really freaks me out#like the anticipation of running and hiding gets to me so easily#maybe it's more immersive?#and btw#i think haunting ground does it best#the outlasts get a little bit less scary for me on repeat playthroughs bc they're so scripted#but HG is all the way all the time
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thinking about kab and the thing about her i think is she knows just enough to keep herself safe Generally but not enough to really predict what would happen should something more... complicated??? unforeseen??? idk whats the right word to use but something not covered by someones reputation and/or vids happen, believe it or not this also affects her view of clownpierce (we'll get to that)
for example, mapicc has a reputation for being an violent, angry, & impulsive guy and nothing else which makes sense but is incredibly surface level and something that only really works if you dont have a lot of experience working with him
another is reddoons, his betrayal after the base incident while shocking is not unforeseen but his reputation as being a guy whos seen as being a reasonable person whos fairly loyal to his team made it seem like something he wouldnt do even tho it absolutely is
regarding how it affects her view of clown, since he isnt perfectly aligned with his reputation she instead pivots in the complete opposite direction and forgiving basically every crime he does even tho hes something much more mild and complicated than either his reputation or her view of him will ever be (think madonna-whore complex which is especially obvious when it comes to kabs vs woogies view of him)
another side effect of this Just Enough amount of knowledge aside from being blinded by her own expectations is that it frustrates ppl who think shes oversimplificating things (like me and seemingly several other tumblr users as well) especially when she claims that shes objectively correct and the smartest in the room at any given moment
how this roughness in her analysis affects her in the server still has yet to be fully seen but we do still have at least a couple months until the end but 'til then shes just gonna keep stumbling as more and more complicated situations pop up as is typical in lifesteal to happen and eventually shes gonna have to learn to adapt or else she'll be suffering the consequences one way or another
#mine.txt#analysis#ig. this is very rough tho and is more just thoughts than anything#but i wanted a tag so i can get back to this later to see how right or wrong i am#another thing that affects this is the cc/c divide which is something she likes to take control of#one of the ways it manifests is that she likes to go in and out of it frequently which can be incredibly distracting#esp if youre someone like me who wants the lsers to just. be themselves and get immersed in whats happening around them#and it doesnt help that her and her character can have Very different feelings on a situation#basically the cc/c divide or at least how kab likes to use it affects the way she acts because shes got an idea in her head already#of what to think of the other ppl in the server which makes her inflexible when unexpected things come up#as opposed to when shes just being herself reacting to things#which is unfortunate but i think reflects on how outsiders vs insiders view lifesteal#the reality vs expectations of the audience are so incredibly different esp if you only watch the vids#so much so that while watching kabs vid my initial reaction was that she wasnt as big a ls fan as i originally thought#then realized no this seems like the exact sort of thing id expect from someone whos only seen the vids; particularly of the pvpers#(specified pvpers cause only watching the pvpers vs other kinds of players on the server are Very different experiences)#tho the thing about kab is she Does have insider knowledge!#.... mainly from ppl who dont log on a lot (ash and clown and maybe squiddo)#so naturally thats gonna give her a biased view of how the server works one way or another#the exception to this would be zam telling her about eclipse federation but i think either she doesnt know or severely underestimated#just how much lying; manipulation; keeping secrets; and yap sessions built on incompatible motives and morals happened#that made s4 the way it is not only in game but outside of it as well#''we're at our best when we hate each other irl'' - reddoons according to zam
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today on random languages my brain is going 👀 at is biblical hebrew and biblical greek
#the following tags will have discussions of my faith and christianity in general so if you're not interested in that then stop reading ig#some lore: in my early teens i did consider doing a theology degree at uni and becoming an ordained minister/taking a role in the church#this was before i found out a) in my denomination only men can be ministers (deaconesses exist but yeah) and b) the church as an institutio#is pretty yikes#and then finding out i'm queer and nonbinary threw other spanners in there but despite it all my faith is still so so important to me#i want to start learning about christian/comparative theology more broadly to understand both my own faith and others' better#idk why but today i randomly ended up on the webpage for the theological college in NI and was just looking through the courses they offer#maybe someday in the distant future i'll have the money and time to burn to do an online postgrad degree with them#but yeah they have a postgrad certificate in biblical greek 👀 which looked v cool#the internet is a wonderful place and i found a pretty comprehensive looking biblical hebrew course on youtube and i'd probs be able to fin#biblical greek somewhere if i looked hard enough#greek and hebrew are both such linguistically interesting languages and being able to read some would also help in my theological adventure#so new side quest just dropped ig? at least it's my reading week this week so I can dabble in them with no consequences#i've also been wanting to try and learn a language via an immersion focus - obvs can't do full immersion with biblical greek and hebrew but#yeah using a less grammar and vocab focused approach than i'm used to#i have access to digital bibles so i could just choose a v literal english translation and then try and parse what's happening?#yeah we'll see#langblr#ellis exclaims
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Mockumentaries
The mockumentary format can be really fun, but I've been thinking more and more about how it's not always used to its best effect. Binge watching Abbott Elementary is what has really brought some of the specifics of this into focus, and it's what is freshest in my mind at the moment, but it isn't limited to one show. My problems with it manifest in many ways, and there's nuance to all of them, but to boil them down to their essentials it's usually:
Characters doing/admitting things they want to keep secret, either from the world or from other characters, while aware they are being filmed
Shows going on for years and years, which indicates either that the documentary crew are sitting on years' worth of footage or that the fictional documentary is being released year by year equivalent to how we see the real show
Characters going off to have private moments and acting as if there isn't a cameraman (or several for all those extra angles) two feet away from them.
On the first point, especially egregious examples include the breaking of laws or rules. My main example, because it's the episode I'm halfway through right now and the thing that compelled me to make this post right now, is everyone at Abbott trying to hide the fact that they got the computers as bribes from the golf course. Even if they deceive this one guy (I'm five minutes from the end), it's going to get out eventually via this documentary they're all so happily admitting it to. This goes for various things throughout the show, including more than one plot-important blackmailing.
Even when it isn't something illegal, there are plenty of things that characters are trying to keep secret from other characters, and yet they're brazenly doing or talking about it on camera. Relating this to the second bullet point, it is thus weird when characters find out information in later seasons from interactions with one another, when they should have found that out from watching the prior season (if we assume that is how the documentary functions).
I thought about these first two bullet points a lot during the latter seasons of What We Do in the Shadows, particularly whenever the characters would emphasise that vampires are meant to be secret (eg. when Nandor appeared on the news and they freaked out, or when Nadja yelled at Nandor for sponsoring a marathon during the Vampiric council stuff). They did at least fix all this in the final episode, with the vampires explaining that they've had many documentaries made about them and none of them have ever aired, which is the sort of absurdity that fits really well in the wwdits universe. Even so, this was a last minute addition and my experience of the show as a whole was (very slightly) marred by this dissonance.
On the third bullet point, this is possibly the most egregious because it often takes me out of the most emotional scenes. This especially goes for characters sneaking off to be alone. Sometimes we only see these moments from a distance, as the camera crew has to sneak an angle to catch the character unawares, which works a lot better. Sometimes, though, this goes out the window. Because I watched it yesterday, my mind goes to Janine leaving her School District party to be alone in her office, where there are two different close up angles from inside this very small room. It's not inconceivable that she'd still be able to experience this big moment without acknowledging that she's being filmed from very close up, but it doesn't feel entirely realistic, and there are plenty of similar moments throughout Abbott Elementary and other shows.
There are lots of other little things that can break the immersion - such as the (multiple) cameras already being in the flower classroom when Janine and Gregory have their first kiss, given that J&G think the place is locked and no one is meant to be there. So, the camera crew just ran ahead, got inside and waited, then Janine and Gregory break in and don't even acknowledge the fact that these people who've been filming them for however long are already in there? - but it would be impossible to name them all individually.
It works best for me when the cameras are acknowledged as part of the world. You want to make it so that these characters know they're being filmed? Use that! For example, when Janine and Gregory actually get together and have their second kiss, Gregory dismisses and shuts them out! It still felt weird to me that they started kissing when the cameras were right there, but I love that they chose to acknowledge that it would be forced and unnatural for these two characters to finally get together while a camera crew stared at and filmed them at close quarters.
Anyway, this isn't supposed to be a rant against any particular show's use of the mockumentary format (apologies to Abbott for being my main source of examples). It's more an observation of the way it's used (or misused) in general. If I could be bothered, I'd watch a bunch of shows and take notes every time something bothers me, but it's not that big of a deal. I can see why showrunners choose the mockumentary format, as it allows characters to express their thoughts directly to camera. This can be very valuable, especially since theatrical soliloqoys feel out of place in most standard TV shows. However, while I can suspend my disbelief to an extent, it does often take me out of the world and I'd love to see more care taken when figuring out how the fact that these characters are being filmed would affect the way they act.
#abbott elementary#what we do in the shadows#I worry this sounds like I'm slamming abbott when I'm really not#I actually love the show and I'm so nearly done with it! I'll probably make another post talking about it in a couple of hours!#but this has been percolating in my mind for a long time#and now I've been immersed in the format for several days and I keep thinking about it so I just wanted to get my thoughts down#wwdits is the last mockumentary I watched and I remember a couple of examples from that#(some of which I did mention on tumblr as they happened)#but I remember far less of what happens in others I've watched like the (british) office or 2012 or W1A#those are all british shows interestingly and I have a vague recollection that they aren't as egregious in their misuse of the format#and are also often more naturalistic in their tone#but it's been years so maybe I'm biased and remembering through rose tinted glasses#perhaps I will rewatch one of those at some point and pay attention to their use of the format#and maybe I'll watch the american office one of these days for comparison#I do seem to remember that a lot of the will they/won't they stuff with dawn and martin freeman#in the office was done in a much more understated filmed-from-a-distance way#abbott elementary mine#wwdits mins#wwdits#mine
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"Aw it's so cute to be held by a giant, cuddled by a giant, taking care of you as a tiny, fearplay yadda yadda"
BORING! Give me give me, um, tiny lost in a giant world fighting for survival! Give me tinies seeing giants as threats! Running away! Having their life in danger! Give me epic fantasy adventures involving beings of different sizes! Give me futuristic settings with giant aliens who are enemies or allies, give me different cultures between the sizes, and tinies or giants adjusting to new worlds! Give me human-turned giants who feel out of touch with their humanity as they're regarded as freaks or monsters. Give me humans finding secret fairy villages, humans finding secret giants in the forests, or even accidental city rampage!
Give me drama, conflict, angst, but most of all, give me giant/tiny adventures!
#tldr even though the fluffy concepts are great they fall flat for me when they're not in an interesting story#Make me care for your world make me immersed in it!#I love g/t scenarios in general but the ones that are attached to an interesting story are the best#Make interesting things happen to your characters!#It's funny how such a fantasy trope like g/t is so tied to contemporary settings and slow pacing#I feel like we're deeply lacking more adventurous g/t stories!#But maybe that's just me#coffeh rambles#g/t community#g/t discussion#giant/tiny#g/t
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i realized i lost my ability to watch movies on the 'puter even if that's where the most movies are, but my plan to go to the cinema every other week is a good compromise, tbh, the programme in my city sucks, but there is the occasional screening of something interesting (both old and new), so i'll keep my eyes on that
#it's not a complete wasteland dhhd but what i'm hearing from other people's places and the range of what their local cinemas offer. sigh.#so i may watch 'less' but at least it will be an immersed and undistracted experience#which seems more useful than watching something across several days and retaining nothing#i do think it has a lot to do with my diminished eyesight though#i constantly need to enlarge stuff etc to properly look at it and this doesn't really work with films does it#i don't even like watching on the tv for similar reasons#if i get my own place maybe i can have a little set up with a projector ...
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my first playthrough I would grow out arthurs hair and beard each chapter then chop it all off when the gang would move camps in order to avoid being recognized for immersion sake…now I only care about how he looks for taking screenshots
#like FORGET about autbenticity and immersion#I’m playing a dress up game and I want him to have a trimmed beard#I dont even think it makes that big of a difference#I do try to take care with his clothes#like if I’m committing a crime I will wear a hat + mask and no jacket if possible#then I ditch the hat for going around town and have different coats to make sure I look more civilian#maybe my next playthrough I will dial more in with being immersive and have different looks to avoid bounties#idk I like him looking a certain way#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#my posts
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university.. university leave me alone
#heres the situation: for my cognitive literary studies class (quite fun) we had to pick primary material and a cognitive angle to analyse it#from. and the deadline was coming up and i who have been thinking very intensely about robots for the last half a year picked#yeah you guessed it. fucking PIERS PLOWMAN. which is not fun for me but i panicked about the deadline#so now i have to do something about piers plowman and its cognitive literary properties#and im in hell this is hell i have been extremely stressed about piers plowman for a month. to the point where ive been in physical pain#AND I CANNOT. THINK OF ANYTHING. ABOUT PIERS PLOWMAN.#and the teacher for that class is so nice and chill and she was like you can pick anything at all. and i went with piers plowman#like it's interesting but from what COGNITIVE angle can i approach piers plowman.#ive been thinking about saying exactly this that piers plowman is more for historical linguists and theologists than narratologists but im#also positive plenty of scholars read piers plowman for the plot#so then i thought about the characters and whether you can Connect with them and whether they help you Immerse yourself in the story and#other terminology i learned in cognitive literary studies class.#theyre allegorical and very 1 dimensional and there could be something about whether we from 2024 understand them in the same way#people from the 14th century did. like this was what i put in my proposal when i made it#but now i actually have to make the slides and use cognitive literary papers for this and it's just not going at all. i cant do it.#i cant do anything i cant enjoy the daylight and the warmer weather i cant think about anything other than im not making progress on this#and it's bad for me!! it's bad for my health i feel bad. why did i go with piers plowman why did i not pick watership down#my post#i have plenty to say about watership downm cognitively.#also about old possums book of practical cats#maybe i could email her and tell her id like to change it.. no#ive also been reading the tombs of atuan which is incredible
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now introducing goodspring's resident loser girlboyfriend
#fallout new vegas#fnv#oc: juno (courier six)#nothing more immersion breaking than fighting with pose mods and weather for a few hours to do a photoshoot but. its worth it for Him#first fallout post on my fallout blog. amazing#new playthrough! maybe. maybe.#hes off to do what he does best: forget he has a wife and cause catastrophic damage to the political atmosphere of the mojave#queue
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So tonight I ended up getting really sucked into 7’scarlet an Otome game illustrated by the fe three houses illustrator chinatsu kurahana, where the first character I romanced is the guy who is not only voiced by subaru mr ensemble stars but sounds and acts exactly like subaru - but less normal…………
He even looks like subaru. HIS DAD IS DEAD TOO. This is crazy.
The story so far is surprisingly tense and creepy at times. I was really drawn into the mystery but also every characters natural voice acting and dynamic with each other. It’s really good so far guess I gotta 100% this one…
There’s even a guy who kind of acts and looks like chiaki ensemble stars. This game really combines my interests lol
#7’scarlet#update I genuinely feel too tense to sleep now like I LIKE HIM A LOT I LIKE HIS MENTAL ILLNESS BUT#and I love how we don’t really try to help him improve it’s just like#‘yeah you’re sincerely unstable but that’s ok ❤️’#‘in fact you should act in more unhealthy ways toward me ❤️ this is a normal relationship’#doesn’t seem ethical but that’s the genre I guess…#maybe I got a bit mentally unstable myself too immersed in the story. I DONT FEEL SAFE ENOUGH TO SLEEP LMAO
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Its so crazy when you play a game in dub(or watch smth ig) and you listen to the other ones(in this case, the intended language) and its like HUHHHH!?!?! My boy does NOT sound like that !!!
#fuck me tho bcs in my attempts to find a clip of him speaking in eng#i looked clips up on yt instead of changing my settings cause duh#and just fucking spoiled myself for a thousand things in the process 😭😭😭😭#me at me: forget forget forget forget FORGET FORGET#anyways i do not understand his eng voice it sounds nothing like how i perceive him like ?????????#french dub ON top#im like gaaahhhh ong hes so hot bark bark. oh wait i wonder how he was actually intended to sound#cause honestly his voice is a big part of his attractiveness to me#but his eng voice is SOOOO bleh to me. but id need to hear more and im not willing to spoil myself#but god. tho kinda ironic cause i think his model and voice are the same dude. sry sir but im not a fan LOL#*btw i mean arno why am i always so vague 😭#the vibe is sooooo different its actually insane to me#i was like im sure his eng voice is great! nah. tho maybe its cause hes stuck in my brain as the french voice#also may i say one of my biggest pet peeves? its fine or whatever to have smth take place in a country with a foreign language but-#-still have the language be english. that's just a realistic expectation for anglo made projects yknow#BUT GOD. WHEN THEY DONT EVEN FUCKING AT LEAST TRY TO HAVE AN ACCENT MIRRORING WHERE THEY ARE#WHY ARE YOU A FRENCHMAN IN FRANCE SPEAKING ENG WITH A TOTALLY BRITISH ENG#WHY ARE YOU AN AUSTRIA IN AUSTRIA SPEAKING ENG WITH A BLATANT AMERICAN ACCENT#etc etc. theres sometimes where i dont absolutely hate it. but it bugs the shit out of me#especially bcs id rather watch smth in the language where it takes place bcs its more immersive. so like. at least try w the accent#catie.rambling.txt
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OH OH OH OH OH FULL NAME FULL NAME AKANE KISHIDA
I figured she was the one to get in touch first based on Jo knowing she wanted to see her son, but I have SO many questions about that... how does she know her son survived... how does she know Ichiban was her son and not Aoki... how does she know who Jo is and how to contact Jo... (<- tearing my hair out as we speak)
Anyway when you have the opportunity please view the gameplay footage...
obsessed how its addressed to Mr. Jo Sawashiro i dont know why that detail tickles me... thats cute..
chicken-and-egg kinda deal with Who Contacted Who first. like id ASSUME sawashiro'd get in contact with her first if he was feeling guilty enough about The Whole Situation and was willing to dig into arakawa's past imo, esp since akane wouldn't have any reason (or ability to) know who he was until after he joins the yakuza.. and i mean.. shes long gone by then.. tho that's assuming they got in contact early on and they didnt JUST start communicating within the past few years.
BUT EITHER WAY just gotta wait and see for it all to play out.. in three months <- still cant believe its coming out january 26th 👁️💋👁️
youtube
IM OBSESSED WITH THE GAMEPLAY FOOTAGE im soooo glad i was right in how they were going to handle the style change aspect (though i guess it wasnt a hard thing to predict but still..). I LOVE HOW KIRYU CAN ACTUALLY ROAM FREE THAT'S SO COOL i remember people kept speculating on how the gameplay was gonna go with how different ichi and kiryu's playstyles are and this is SUUCH a rad way to answer that question. my excitement is immeasurable and im gonna throw up
#snap chats#lest i neglect chitose's fighting style looks SICK. the neck stomp did remind me of juri han sorry im sick in the head EITHER WAY#the ballet skills... explains why she seems so skinny tbh. like maybe im delusional but i feel like her model is Extra slim yk#i hope im right... oh but speaking of diversity i love how they got people speaking english#Typical Westerner Answer Is Typical IM JUST SAYING its a nice immersion aspect. also im nosy let me eavesdrop#-5 points on the immersion aspect for the fact katy didnt immediately apologize after ichi bumps into her#any american would start profusely apologizing excuse you. BUT SPEAKING OF MOVEMENT#maybe its too early to make this assessment but i like how more concise ichi's walking is#back in Y7 one issue i had was just how.. not 'slippery' he was but it certainly felt like his shoes didnt have any traction#but now he seems to walk more precisely. hope im right....#crazy eats looks so fun... they have no idea who theyre playin with when my dumbass has all these tony hawk and jet set radio hours#im rambling on too much i still have to answer your other ask LMAO thank you for writin in an sendin the gameplay demo :]
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genuinely, though, this has truly been a time to be a lurker on jp music project twt
#quick timeline of events straight from my twt dash that i still cant believe i had the joy of witnessing:#the chaos began a few months ago with the tu.yu deletion threat. then things seemed fine for a bit*#*(if you don’t count the en.strries and pj.sktwt beating each other in the qrts every other hour or so)#then nghy became canon and that’s when the coincidences began to line up in a bewildering series of events#nghy outrage came first. then kinchan (hanamaru llss) announced her marriage (surprisingly gom was there in the comments which was funny)#but what wasnt funny was people trying to cancel her *just* for getting married. (c’mon guys cant you be happy for your oshi smh)#and *then* people tried to cancel the new ll group for allegedly using a.i generated album artwork based off a low res image#which was quickly debunked by subsequent releases over the following days but. the damage was done. smh#and *t h e n* tu.yu deletion was cancelled via twt poll. which. was a choice. ig.#(still think they should’ve deleted instead of guilt tripping their fans with the poll options tbh. but oh well.)#and *now* there’s the. choice. made by en.st. that im not touching with a 10 foot pole bc everything that needs to be said about it#has already been expressed more eloquently by twt users and their ‘creative’ threats to the management. it’s still a horrific choice though.#b u t there was someone comparing the en.st. ‘choice’ with lxl last stage (the part where the green dude tore up the ‘new member’ paper)#and someone qrted that and said sth like ‘well that’s well and good for lxl’s story. b u t…’#‘(hw) management ruined the story of a love series character (hiyori) by pairing her off with a childhood friend who appeared from nowhere’#‘so maybe it’s not the best example to use when it comes to management choices’ and so………..#we’ve come full circle back to nghy outrage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what a time to be alive. man. seriously.#i think it’s a truly terrible coincidence how all of these happened within days of each other (minus the tu.yu initial deletion notice)#…anyways i think twt is a horrible place to be on. that’s all.#but. point is. i think everyone should just try to be decent(?) people on the interwebs#if you have nothing nice to say just don’t say anything at all yk~~~~~~~#…unless you’re an en.strrie. then pls direct your complaints to the official management instead of each other~~~ it’s all their fault~~~~#so glad i dont care much for en.strs anymore tbh. md.chips who left early back during the sudden pivot to chi.kn were on to something tbh#…aight enough doomscrolling for one evening. back to cleaning idolsengen pages (or trying to at least)#this has truly been an immersive asuna experience… or something
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Just finished rereading ITNL chapter 2 again
Yknow, it's long felt like a weaker chapter to me, especially compared to chapter 1. It's a Necessary chapter, but it's basically an entire chapter of introspection. Add in the fact that I wrote it in a single day and was half falling asleep by the end of editing it, but pressing onwards anyways bc I wanted So Badly to get it out that night...
The Legato part was the weakest for that. I remember staring at it and breaking my brain just trying to make it sound better before just giving up and posting. But when I worked on my full-fic re-edits about.. a year ago now? A year and a bit. I think it was October ish of 2023. But I focused on that part again, trying to get it up to my standards to be satisfied with it.
Coming back to it after some number of months, my brain relatively fresh, I think I actually did a pretty decent job. Despite being an introspective chapter, it really drives home how Wrecked vash is about it all. I like to say that chapter 1 is like a thesis to the fic, where you get vash's goals laid out pretty clearly (him picturing the things he wants to fix + him picturing his dream of having all the people he loves around a table with him, including Knives. It serves as motivation for him jumping back in time in the first place and it remains his driving force throughout the fic). In contrast, chapter 2 is... almost a secondary thesis. We see his doubt, his fears, his panic. We see the things that he's going to be struggling with throughout the whole fic. His wish to handle it all on his own, as well as how overwhelming it all is to him. Chapter 2 is the necessary second side to chapter 1's thesis, showing the weakness in his own strength and drive.
The cracks in his own unstoppable force.
Idk it's just interesting to me. Having been away from it long enough, I think I really do appreciate chapter 2 after all.
#speculation nation#itnl shit#kinda wanna post Thoughts for each chapter as i work on rereading this fic#anecdotes about what i remember doing while writing and thoughts about the chapters themselves.#part of my goal with rereading this fic is to reconnect myself with who i was while i was writing it.#ive changed so much since then that it feels like a different person wrote this fic. which gets in the way of my immersion#and is part of why it's been so long since i last updated.#i tried to force it back in july. managed to get a chapter out but im not entirely satisfied with it.#im probably gonna try to do some editing on it when i get to that point. there are a few things i want to improve about it.#the key thing being that i just Cant force it or else the finished product wont be to the level of quality i want#and i cant Keep writing in the same way i would if i was fully immersed.#this isnt to say chapter 19 is bad. people seemed to really like it. but theres just... something missing from it for me. just a bit.#i think the thing that most influences my writing's quality is how much i put myself into the character's brain#so even if the prose itself isnt the most masterful. the writing is so in touch with the character's mind that it's really impactful.#i'd like to think at least 😅#but the other side of that is the fact that my writing just isnt as good if im not fully invested and immersed. it just isnt.#so that was the problem with 19. and im gonna try to fix those parts where that feels most apparent.#the chapter will overall be the same. just. this is my perfectionism speaking probably lol#anyways yes. full reread to really get back into it. replying to comments to remember that people love my fic.#engaging with readers and also with my own analysis. i think that this will help a lot with re-engaging myself.#and if i do this right then it wont be many months before another update again.#i'll be able to go back into it and Stay in it. for hopefully Plenty more chapters and updates#gonna write at least 100k of ITNL this next year Just You Watch. maybe even more if i can manage it.#💪💪💪💪💪 i believe in myselfffff
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wait your beatles era is over? it was so fun eventhough i follow for death note content it just made my day seeing you enjoying something so much! :]
Awww no well it's not OVER over, as in I still really like them and will retain everything I learned about them during the last 3 or 4 months and still follow a lil handful of my fave Beatles blogs on here. It's just over as in I don't feel the need to fill my dash with literally hundreds of Beatles blogs or finish reading every giant biographer's tome I started reading about them anymore or wtv. And obvs you can always chat to me about them and still see me occasionally post about them! But thank you for saying so anyways haha
#i feel like after learning a good bit of the band's lore#that most of the fandom info i see about them now is the same thing recycled over and over again#and a lot of super serious takes and intense stances that i dont often feel as strongly serious about myself#not just on tumblr but also on beatles subreddits and everywhere else#so for me there just came a point of diminishing returns a few months in#at which immersing myself in the fandom chatter that heavily stopped feeling continuously rewarding or something#one of the main things im taking away from my 2024 beatles phase is probably that im going to be genuinely sad when paul mccartney dies now#i dont honestly think there is any other celebrity i've actually felt that way about for the past ten years or so but goddammit#he just grew on me a lot the more i learned about the band#i also think it's very cool that 2 of the fab 4 are still kickin now! and i hope they stick around for a long while yet#and i also urge anybody who hasnt obsessed over the beatles yet#but has been flirting with the idea of maybe getting into the beatles someday#to do it now while some of them are still alive#it's never too late and it just makes it all way more cool and fun to learn about them and hey#you might even still have the chance to see paul or ringo perform live#if that turns out to be something you want to do#ask#anon#p
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i look for irl friends everywhere but its always. my fucking coworkers. like inevitably the place im gonna find my best friends isnt gonna be through school or hobbies its the other ppl who are also working alongside me for just above minimum wage.
#idk if its the minimum wage thing or the job field im in. maybe something about a kitchen job just attracts the coolest ppl ever#either way kind of hate that development of my social life is always dependent on like. having to work for money#but it kinda selects for ppl i can get along w ig. like dawg i just cannot be friends w rich ppl#never could relate to like. the stereotype of highschool rich bullies who make fun of u for being weird an poor cuz like#most ppl at my highschool were also pretty poor but. kind of feel like im encountering that in my adult life#like either theyre stuck up an dont wanna interact w me at all#or im like. trying to connect w someone who thinks its normal that both their parents own a tesla#having friends who are like. poor or who were also in foster care is kind of more important to me#than having other friends who are queer i realized#like. i just have more in common w someone raised by their grandparents who isnt that familiar w queer culture#than i do w someone immersed in the culture whos parents make 100k#but i mean now i sorta have both im no longer the only queer in the kitchen#my boss is like the most badass dykiest dyke ive ever seen#i mean im gonna keep trying to find non-worker friends though. my boss told me i should go to a gay bar skfhjgsdj
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