#maybe it'll be a whole ass fic

[obsessedwhyyes]

Call me debauched or depraved, but I really fancy writing something about Astarion and, dare I say it...

Hand-holding. Ugh.

I've just got a bad case of the warm fuzzies today.

[orcelito]

Thinking about rereading Sentido before I reread ITNL

I peeked in the last chapter and I was like "damn ok this is actually kinda good"

[daddyricsdoll]

Lando norris who's obsessed with reader’s boobs 😔 I'm 1000% sure he's boobs man through and through !!!!!

He's definitely one of those guys to cuddle their girlfriends and hold their boobs. Like it just makes him feel better or relives stress. Especially with his big hands!! Like he'd love to cup them in his hands, whether he can hold it all or not. He'll even sleep on them. 🥺Just so he knows, I'll let him touch my boobs all he wants. Ok but I feel like he also loves ass. Like even in that one interview thingy and he said "bunda". Like just walking he'll slide his hand down her back, eventually holding her ass.

But back to topic, he's obsessed with them, in sexual and non- sexual ways. Like during sex he'll mark them with his lips non-stop, even fuck them. He'll cum on them too, just enjoying his favourite place on you to be covered in him.

adifhdsbifhf imagine he's streaming or playing video games and you're sitting on his lap and he just can't help but slip one of his hands under your shirt to hold one of your boobs. Massaging it and just enjoying the weight of it in his hand. And he doesn't care if people watch him doing that because you're his and he's yours. They can't see under the shirt, but they can imagine what he's doing. And he's so obsessed with you and everyone knows it. You've just had to adapt hearing your name in every interview, phone call or normal conversation Lando has.

Let's say one summer Lando rents a yacht. Just for the two of you. He manages to find a private place for you both to anchor the yacht and swim, lay down and chill out. He might chase you around the yacht, threatening to throw you into the water when he catches you, or maybe he tackles you onto the floor and you guys turn into love struck teenagers who are obsessed with every part of each other. But when you guys do go into the ocean, Lando unties your bikini top. Stealing it and planning to never give it back. Making it easier for him to hold your breasts and see them. At first your paranoid, cautious for anyone spectators, but then Lando reassures you. Telling you no one is near and it'll make his whole experience better. Leading you to leaving it off. That turning into the rest of the little holiday on the yacht.

You could be sunbathing before feeling two hands against your boobs. Oh and on insta he'll post a photo of you both standing in front a mirror. Lando behind you, both of his hands holding your breasts while you hold the camera. The photo being intimate, and expressing what you each love. Lando loving you and your breasts. And you loving Lando and when he touches your boobs.

(I have so many ideas and I might turn this into a fic. Let me know what you think.)

[ashwhowrites]

Hi, I love ur stories and I had an idea I was hoping you could write. If not I completely understand and respect that. I loved ur fic where Eddie was the popular one instead and everyone thought hellfire/his band was cool. So would you be able to write another popular Eddie Munson x shy/nerdy reader fic but instead it doesn’t deal with the whole upside it’s more so of Eddie is popular and gets paired with nerdy reader or kind of like a 10 things I hate about you sort of thing where there’s a bet and she finds out about it but a happy ending please:) if not completely fine. I hope you have a great day/night and wish all the best for you <3

I think this got a little long because I squeezed it all in one part. I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Bet on me

It wasn't a shock that Eddie could get any girl he wanted. And his long list of the girls he dated could back that up. He never had anyone turn him down and that made him cocky. His friends loved it, boys will be boys. And boys love to play games.

"How was the date with Tracy?" Blake asked, one of Eddie's popular friends.

"It was alright. She was easy so that was nice" Eddie smirked, just another girl on the list.

"Well, you aren't the only one that got laid last night. I got Chrissy Cunningham, which puts me above you" Josh gloated. A pleased smile on his face as Eddie rolled his eyes.

"How did you land her? She's like forbidden" Eddie asked, a little hit to his ego.

"Either way, Josh is now at the top of the list. Getting closer to the $300" Blake said, writing down little dashes next to Josh's name.

"No way. I'm not losing $300. Who do I need to date to get me on the top?" Eddie asked, shoving Josh aside as he continued to brag.

"Um, how about..." Blake said as he looked around. Eddie watched as a twisted smirk showed up on his face. He looked back to Eddie with evil in his eye.

"Y/F/N"

Josh laughed out loud. A laugh so hard he smacked Eddie next to him.

"Dude there's no way she's going to agree to that!" Eddie argued. Y/N was the nerd of the school. There were a few nerds, but she was the smartest out of all of them. She was quiet and kept to herself. How the hell would Eddie get her to date him? How the hell would he even get a conversation started?

"Damn, then it looks like you can hand over that $300 now," Josh said, holding out his hand.

"If anyone can crack her, it'll be you," Blake said, encouraging Eddie as he hyped him up.

"I'll add $200 more if you can take her virginity," Josh smirked, knowing Eddie wouldn't shy away from a higher bet.

"Well gentleman, looks like I'm making $500" Eddie smirked as he walked off, heading towards her direction.

~

Y/N finished grabbing her books from her locker. She slammed the locker shut and jumped as Eddie leaned against the metal beside her.

"Y/N right?" He asked, putting on his best charming smile.

"Um yeah," she said quietly, not quite making eye contact with the popular boy.

"I was wondering if you maybe wanted to go out sometime?" He asked, putting his arm near her head as he leaned into her. He felt a blow to his ego when she stepped back.

"I'm sorry but I don't think we have much in common." She spoke quietly that he could barely hear her. But she walked past him.

It looked like Eddie had to put in more work than he was used to.

~~~

Eddie waited a few days before he talked to her again. He didn't want his sudden interest to be that suspicious.

He walked into his math class, heading straight for the teacher.

"Mr. Munson, what can I do for you?" The teacher sighed

"Can I get a tutor? I need to pass this next test or my uncle is gonna kick my ass." He said, not a full lie. Wayne was getting pissed off with Eddie's grades.

"Language," the teacher scolded, "but I'm glad you are finally accepting help. I have a few options, there is Char-"

"I want Y/N," Eddie said, well demanded.

"Y/N? She is my best student but she doesn't take well to tutoring the popular crowd" the teacher explained.

"I'll make her change her mind," Eddie said with a cocky smile

And just like that Y/N was in the palm of his hand.

~~~

It took a few days before the teacher assigned her to tutor him. She tried to fight it but the teacher refused. She was extremely confused as to why Eddie would request her, and the thought made her nervous.

She took a deep breath and knocked on the small trailer. She looked down at the address on the piece of paper, making sure she was in the right place.

She looked up as she heard the door open. Spit caught in her throat as a shirtless and incredibly sweaty Eddie stood before her.

"Sorry. Was doing a workout, come on in" he said, stepping aside as she walked in. He pushed back his sweaty curls and closed the door.

"Do you want me to come back?" She asked. She felt extremely awkward that she interrupted a workout.

"No, you're fine. I'll just rinse off quickly and join you. Feel free to take a seat on the couch and help yourself to anything in the fridge" he said before he headed off into the bathroom.

She sat on the couch, taking in the small trailer. She could see baby photos of Eddie and an older man. The walls were covered in mugs and baseball caps. But it was a place of memories.

She grabbed out her books, pencils, and paper. She wasn't the type to help herself to something in the fridge so she sat and waited. She tried to shake away the thought of Eddie standing in the shower. The water dripped down his toned and tatted chest.

A few minutes later, the bathroom door opened and Eddie walked out, head down as he rang out his long hair. A loose muscle tank top covered his chest, and her eyes were locked on his arms. Then she looked down and took in his sweatpants. She looked away as he looked up. He tossed the towel back in the bathroom and walked to sit right next to her.

She shivered as she took in the smell of his shampoo and aftershave. She yelled at herself in her head to get a damn grip. But Eddie was attractive, everyone knew that. And she was simply a girl sitting next to the hottest boy in school, watching him get out of the shower.

"Where do we start?" He asked, smirking as she jumped out of her skin. He loved that behind all her walls, she was still a girl who found him attractive. At least now he knew what he could play at.

"With your last test," Y/N said, taking out his graded test and handing it over for him to look at. "Tell me what you don't understand" She looked up at him as she waited for him to answer.

"How you are so beautiful and don't have a boyfriend" he replied, his eyes looking nowhere near the paper.

"Oh...uh thanks," she said, "but I meant about the math, Eddie."

He sighed as his words seemed to not have any effect. She was able to compose herself and brush him off.

He figured he needed to earn a little friendship with her first. So he sat there for two hours doing math.

Y/N sighed in relief when the sky got dark and she had a reason to go home.

"Well it's getting dark so I better head out. You did very well today. I think we can get you around a C" she said as she stood up.

"Why don't you stay a little longer?" He asked, grabbing her hand and freezing her in her spot. "Maybe talk without it being about numbers?"

"I uh- I rode my bike here so I really should go home." She said, giving him a small smile as she released her hand from his.

She waved bye as she walked out the door.

Eddie sighed as the door closed. She was a lot harder to crack than he thought.

~~~

As the final bell rang, Eddie was already in the parking lot. He stood near the bike rack, not sure which one would have been hers.

"Oh hi, Eddie" she greeted him with a smile as she unlocked her bike.

"I was thinking, what if we put your bike in my van, and I'll drive you to my place tonight. Maybe stay for dinner?" He asked, his cocky smirk made her face heat up.

She looked around as students watched them interact. A few of his friends stared at them, and it made her nervous.

"Then I'll drive you home and you won't have to worry about biking in the dark," Eddie added, the final push to make her sigh and agree.

She sat nervously in his van as the music played through the speakers. She found herself humming along and drumming her fingers against her thighs.

Eddie smiled as he heard her softly singing, he was very surprised the shy nerd would listen to the same music as he did. He turned up the volume, winking towards her as she noticed.

"Don't stop, I like hearing you sing." He said, and for once he was honest.

Wait...did he like something about her?

~

They walked into the trailer and sat on the couch. For the first few hours, he stuck to the math, knowing she wouldn't move on unless they did.

"I'm starving, you hungry?" He asked as he stood up. His brain felt fried for squeezing in math for the past two days.

"I could eat" she smiled

"Follow me to the kitchen, milady" he joked as he held his arm out.

He silently cheered in his head as she laughed and took his arm. He walked them a few steps into the kitchen. He let go of her arm to look in his pantry.

"Mac n cheese?" He asked, taking out the small box.

"Sounds good to me," Y/N said as she took a seat at the small table.

Eddie began to prep the meal, trying to rank his brain for questions to ask.

"How come you wanted me to tutor you?" Y/N asked, her fingers drumming against the table.

"I wanted to get to know you," Eddie said, and it was the truth. He just had a different reason why he wanted to know her.

"But why? You've never noticed me before" She wasn't dumb. She knew Eddie wouldn't magically like her out of nowhere, no one did.

"But I noticed you now," he said, turning to look at her as the water boiled.

She accepted his answer and continued to drum her fingers against the table.

"Nervous habit?" He asked, nodding towards her fingers.

She felt her face blush as she clenched her hands into fits.

"A bit" she shrugged as she looked down

She heard him walking closer to her, her breathing picking up as he used his finger to lift up her chin. She stared at him like a love-sick puppy and he felt himself loving it.

"Why do I make you nervous, beautiful?" He whispered, she gulped as she bit at her lip. Eddie softly moved his hand up, his thumb yanking her bottom lip away from her teeth. A puff of air left her lips as she gasped. She tried not to squirm in her seat as he leaned down.

She was close enough to see every color in his eyes, every freckle on his skin, and just how pink his lips were.

"Is it because you like me?" He whispered. He smirked to himself when her eyes zoned in on his lips. He was cracking her down.

"Do you want me to kiss you?" He asked, her eyes snapped up to his eyes. He could see the panic, the fear, and the lust swimming together in her eyes.

"I- I've - don't know.." she trailed off, her eyes getting lost in his as the water boiled in the background. The only sound pulling her back to Earth.

"Never kissed someone have you?" He asked, his thumb softly rubbing her bottom lip again. She softly shook her head no.

She felt like she could breathe again when he stood up straight and removed his thumb. Space between them as she sucked in as much air as she could.

"That's a shame. You've got the prettiest lips I've ever seen" he winked, then turned around and finished making dinner.

He was collected, calm, and in charge.

She was a mess, anxiety-filled, and had no upper hand.

She got caught in the Eddie Munson spell.

~~~

Y/N felt awkward the next day at school. Knowing she was seconds away from kissing Eddie did something to her head.

He asked if she wanted him to kiss her. Did that mean he wanted to? Or was it a mind game he enjoyed? She knew his reputation and that relationships were not what girls went to him for.

She didn't have it in her to be used and tossed. She was far too sensitive for causal. As she walked through the hallway, her eyes caught a poster.

Hawkins Carnival

This weekend only

"Are you thinking about going?"

She turned her head as Eddie's voice filled her ears. He stood next to her, dressed to impress in his jacket and jeans.

"Oh, probably not. I'm not the best at those games." She said with a small laugh

Eddie knocked his shoulder against hers

"Half of it is strategy and the other half is physical. Which means if we team up, we could win and get our money's worth." Eddie explained

Did he want to spend his Saturday night at a carnival with Y/N?

Hell no. He wanted to be at a wild party and drinking until he forgot where he was.

But he had a bet to win.

"You want to go to the carnival together?" She asked, her head turned to the side as she looked at him. She felt the need to clarify what he was saying

He turned to catch her eyes

"It's a date then, sweetheart. I'll pick you up tomorrow at six." As always, he left with a wink that had her heart racing.

She was going on a date with Eddie.

~~~

Y/N barely slept that night. Her head filled with all the horrible things that could happen on the date. But also she allowed herself to get a little excited. Maybe she needed to not think so harshly about Eddie. Maybe he was a good guy and simply interested in her.

She sat on the front step, waiting for Eddie to pick her up. She took a deep breath as his van pulled up the street.

Eddie got out of his van and walked over to open her door.

"You look gorgeous," he said in awe. For once he saw her as more than the little nerd he met. Her glasses were gone, her hair loose on her shoulders, and simple touches of makeup that she probably didn't even need. He never realized how pretty she was just being casual. She always wore sweaters and skirts, but now her arms were bare as she wore a pink tank top. Her chest caught his eyes as he tried to look away. Then her smooth legs showed from her jean shorts.

"Oh thanks," she said shyly, "you look very handsome, Eddie." He wore a band T-shirt, his wrists covered in bracelets, black jeans with a red flannel tied around his skinny waist and his dirty sneakers.

For once in his life Eddie blushed

~

The drive was comfortable, and both sang along to the music. Eddie never realized how much he enjoyed her company.

The sun was still out and hot as they headed into the carnival. Eddie slipped his hand in hers, not saying a word about it as he walked up to the ticket booth. Once he paid for their tickets, they were walking hand in hand as they walked in.

The loud conversations filled her ears and the smell of popcorn filled her nose.

"Where should we start?" She asked, taking in all the rides and games.

"Bottle ring toss!" Eddie cheered as he walked them over to the small booth.

"Alright, gorgeous. What's my strategy?" He asked, handing the small bills over and receiving the rings.

Y/N leaned in and whispered into his ear, "Aim for the ones closest to you. And aim for the middle, it'll increase the chance that the ring will bounce onto one of the bottles."

She pulled back and stepped back, giving him space to toss.

And he did just as she said, tossing the ring into the middle. The small red ring landed on the bottle. He did it two more times and won.

He bowed as she clapped. The worker grabbed the small stuffed animal and handed it over. Eddie grabbed the small bear and happily handed it to Y/N.

She tucked the small bear under her arm and thanked him. He smiled and slid his hand back into hers as they continued to walk.

~

After two hours, they were hot and tired of walking around.

"Let's take a seat" Eddie groaned, sitting down on the bench. Y/N laughed but sat next to him.

With the moment to breathe, her head was spinning. She couldn't believe how much fun she was having with Eddie. How sweet he was and how he paid for everything, no questions.

"I'm so sweaty and hot" Eddie groaned, his curls all frizzy.

"Here, this might help," Y/N said as she stood up. Eddie watched confused as she walked behind him, and began to lift up his air. He breathed in relief as his hair was removed from his neck. He smiled to himself as she tied up his hair. A comforting feeling landed on his chest.

She used the binder on her wrist to tie up his hair, throwing it in a messy bun. She walked back in front of him and held out her hand.

"Let's go ride some rides and feel the wind"

Eddie smiled and grabbed her hand. He was actually having the time of his life. He was enjoying every second with her. And as he realized that, he felt a heavy amount of guilt fill his body.

Eddie blindly followed, focused on how terrible he felt.

"Ferris wheel?" She asked as they walked near it. Eddie snapped out of his thoughts and nodded. They walked in line and got on the small cart.

Their bodies smashed together as the ride slowly began to move. Eddie felt sick and he didn't think it was because of the ride.

"The sun is setting. Look how beautiful it is!" Y/N said as she pointed off into the sky. Eddie followed her finger and took in the pinks and purples that decorated the sky.

The ride ticked and slowly came to a stop, their cart at the very top. Y/N hummed as she felt the nighttime breeze start to make it's way. Her hair softly blew in the wind as she reached for his hand.

"Eddie?"

He snapped out of his thoughts again, looking over at her.

"Yeah?" He asked. He took in how beautiful she looked as the sun set behind her. The way her hair blew out of her face, and the scent of her perfume made his heart race.

Fuck...he likes her

"I want you to kiss me" she whispered, her eyes looking down to his lips as she leaned in.

Eddie felt conflicted as her eyes closed and she leaned closer. He knew he should have stopped her, and he should have confessed. But he wanted to kiss her, even if it would be the only time.

Her lips touched his and his mind went blank. All he could feel was her lips. Her left hand moved up to softly touch his cheek. He softly kissed her back, his hand landing on her thigh. The kiss was short and sweet, but impactful.

She pulled away, nervously. She just had her first kiss with the most popular boy in school.

Eddie had the first kiss that ever made him feel something. He looked into her eyes as she waited for him to say something, but he didn't. He pressed his lips eagerly against hers, already missing the way they felt against his.

~

Eddie pulled up in her familiar driveway. His stomach filled with endless butterflies. He never knew he could like a girl so much.

"I had a great time, Eddie." She said softly, holding the small bear in her hands. "Thank you" She leaned over and kissed his cheek, then got out of the van.

Eddie watched as she walked into her house. Her lips lingered on his cheek and guilt lingered on his mind.

~~~

A week passed, and Eddie and Y/N spent the week doing math. And now that the weekend was here, Eddie took her on another date.

This time at a house party. Y/N wasn't totally interested but she wanted to be with Eddie.

Eddie was terrified, but he had a plan. He wanted to go on a date somewhere else but his friends forced him to come. He didn't want to cancel with her so he bit the dust and arrived.

He was going to call off the bet with his friends and explain it all to her and hopefully, it would work out.

They walked in and all eyes were on them. Y/N gripped Eddie's hand as she tried to hide his body as they walked through. Everyone took in her small black flowy dress and red lips. She felt pretty and tried to keep her head high.

~

The night went and Y/N was tasting alcohol for the first time. She was a smart girl but didn't know a limit. She lost Eddie in the crowd, but she was on the path to find him.

She was drunk, stumbling around, and about to do something so stupid.

~

"So I need to talk to you guys about Y/N." Eddie sighed, the alcohol doing nothing to calm his nerves.

"Seems to be going very well, my man. Gonna hit it soon?" Josh asked, patting Eddie on the shoulder.

"About that-" but he was cut off when a body slid up next to his. He looked down as Y/N slid under his arm and cuddled into his side.

"I want to talk to you" Y/N whispered as she looked up at him. He looked down at her pouty red lips, craving nothing more than to kiss her.

"Alright. Let's go outside" Eddie offered

"I was actually thinking we could talk in the bedroom." She said, her finger trailing down his chest.

His friends whistled and Eddie was quick to grab her hand and walk her away.

"ATTA BOY MUNSON!"

Eddie groaned to himself as he flipped off his friends. Quickly rushing them up to the bedroom so he could confess everything before it was too late.

As they made it into the room, Y/N had more confidence than ever before. She pushed Eddie onto the bed, landing on his lap as she pressed her lips against his.

Eddie moaned as she rocked against his hips, but he had to focus on what was important. He held her hips still and pulled away from the kiss.

"I really need to talk to you," he said, she hummed but moved her lips to his neck.

"Talk to me," she said as she pulled away. He sighed in relief when she got off his lap.

"I need you to kn-" but the words died in his throat as she pushed down her dress. He felt a growl in the back of his throat as he took her in. The black bra and underwear looked amazing against her skin. He felt his cock grow hard as she unhooked her bra, letting it fall to the floor as she walked towards him again.

"Know what?" She whispered as she ran her hands up his thighs.

Eddie felt like he had an angel and devil on his shoulders. One side begging to cave and feel her wrapped around him. But the other side telling him to go any further would be wrong.

Before he could think of picking a side, the door flung open.

Y/N screeched and quickly grabbed the blanket off the bed. Eddie panicked as Josh walked in with a big smirk and a handful of cash in his hand.

"Well well well, Eddie you actually did it."

Eddie felt his blood run cold as he got off the bed. He snatched her dress and bra off the floor and handed it over to her.

"I'll be right back," he said before he harshly shoved Josh out the door.

Y/N was fast to get dressed, clipping on her bra as she immediately became sober. She slipped on her dress and cracked open the door.

"I don't want the fucking money. I want out." Eddie harshly whispered

"Oh come on Eddie. You put like three weeks into this bet, gonna quit now?" Josh scoffed

Y/N felt her stomach turn as she took in the words.

"Fine, you dated her so I'll give you the $300, but you didn't fuck her so you owe me the $200."

"You made a bet about me?" Y/N spoke, her voice cracking as she could feel the tightness in her throat. She opened the door wider, and the two boys froze upon her feet.

Eddie closed his eyes as he felt the world crumbling around him. He opened his eyes and turned to look at her. He felt his heart ache as the tears fell down her cheeks and the betrayed look in her eyes.

"Yes but please let me explain!" Eddie begged, his voice wavering with nerves.

Before she could think, her right hand slapped across his cheek. The sound echoed down the hallway and Josh yelled out to the party. People rushed up the stairs as Y/N stared Eddie down with the most hateful look he had ever seen.

"I can't believe I ever thought you liked me. I fucking hate you." She said through her clenched teeth, hot tears running down her face as she shoved him. She was fast as she pushed through the crowd and raced down and out of the house.

"Y/N! WAIT!" Eddie screamed, feeling the sting on his cheek as he pushed through the crowd.

But by the time he made it out, she was gone.

~~~

He showed up at her house over and over, but she never opened the door.

He had no idea how to make things right but he would die trying.

~

Monday morning he was off. He stopped by the flower store, picking out the prettiest ones he could find.

He held them in a tight grip as he walked into the building. Half the school was at the party so eyes followed him as he walked to her locker.

She was back to her normal self. Glasses on and her hair up, a sweater on her body, and a skirt on her hips.

"Y/N?" He said gently

"Eddie don't" she sighed as she looked at him

"Please I can explain" he begged

"Explain? Eddie, I'm not an idiot. You don't think I know that people think I'm a joke? I get it, I was a funny target for your popular games. But the game is over so just leave me alone." She said, tears building in her eyes as she walked off to class.

"But you're not a joke! You mean so much more than that!" Eddie said, following behind her and grabbing her arm. She sighed as he stopped her, the eyes of everyone on them. But Eddie didn't care, he was focused on her.

"That doesn't matter. What matters is that you would have never looked my way otherwise. You would have never liked me and you wouldn't have tried to get to know me." She said and walked away.

It hurt but Eddie knew she was right.

~~~

Eddie left her alone for about a week. He wanted to give her time to cry, scream, or whatever she needed to feel. But he didn't give up on her.

It was hard for both of them. He watched her every move throughout school, and she fought hard to never look. She dropped out of tutoring, which he felt would happen. He still worked hard at math, wanting nothing more than to prove their time spent together was for something.

He missed her and she missed him. She still has the bear, she cuddles with it every night. Eddie slept with the moments they had.

Y/N sighed as she walked out of school. It was Friday and she couldn't wait to go home and sleep away everything she felt.

But of course, Eddie stood there at the bike rack

"Eddie" she groaned

"I know. You don't want to talk to me or see me. I respected that for as long as I could. But I need you to know that everything I felt was real. I fell for you." He explained, his eyes pleading for her to stay.

"How can I believe you? How can I look at you the same way? I-I...I'm so hurt, Eddie. I knew getting involved with you was a bad idea. From the first night, when all you did was flirt and try to make me one of those girls. You knew I was fragile, and you used that against me. You toyed me along and made me believe for once I could be someone worthy of someone like you. I had my guard up in the beginning, but you were so sweet-" she got choked up as tears fell down her face. "So sweet that I thought I was the bad guy for thinking so little about you. That maybe you aren't a bad guy and I should see where it goes. But you are that guy Eddie. You are that shallow, selfish, and asshole guy."

"I'm sorry, I know! I'm an asshole, I was selfish. I had bad intentions in mind and you didn't deserve that. But I mean it when I say that you are someone anyone could fall in love with. I've never felt the things I feel for you. The way you make my heart race and the way you make me blush. You make me want to be someone better. I don't want the endless girls and be that guy anymore. I want to be worthy to be with you." Eddie choked out, tears building in his eyes as he made himself vulnerable to her.

She bit her lip as she tried to keep her cries inside. Her heart broke seeing him cry and being so torn up about it.

"That night at the carnival changed everything. We were going out even more after that. All those times together were real. Please just let me fix this." He begged.

"If they didn't walk in, would you have slept with me? Complete the bet?" It was a question she was scared to ask.

"No," he said without a thought, "I was going to tell you that night, I swear. I wanted to tell you at the carnival but then we kissed and every thought I had vanished. Then I was going to tell you at the party, and once you wanted to go further I knew I wouldn't until you knew the truth. No matter how hard it was to think straight when you looked the way you did. But I would never have gone through with it."

Maybe it was a mistake and maybe she'd get burned. But just like the last few weeks, she believed him.

"I'm Y/N, the last guy I liked kinda was an asshole. Think you can make me forget about that?" She asked, a teasing smile on her face as she held out her hand

Eddie wiped his tears and shook her hand. "I'm Eddie. And I'm gonna try my damn best to do so."

~

And he did. She wanted to go extremely slow. She made them start as friends, slowly trusting him as the months went on. He was patient, in no rush as he worked to be the best for her.

After being friends for three months, she asked him to kiss her. And he gladly did.

Tags!

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[lee-laurent]

All Wrong - Luke Hughes

Summary: Jack needs some help from Sadie, but Sadie finds another Hughes brother much more interesting.

content: fluff, angst, fake dating, kissing, making out, teasing, dirty jokes, underage drinking

wc: 11.6k

notes: HERE IT IS! MY LONGEST FIC EVER!!!! enjoy!!

"Sadie, it's not like I'm asking you to marry me. It's just for the summer so she leaves me alone," Jack pleaded from his spot on the girl's couch.

"Just tell her you're not interested or that you have a girlfriend. This seems overboard."

"That won't stop her. Trust me."

"Then why would me being there change that?"

"You're intimidating, Sadie. You'll look at her once and she'll run home like a puppy with its tail tucked between its legs."

"Jack..."

"Sadie, please! Didn't you say your parents had been on your ass about having a boyfriend? See this could benefit both of us."

"I-"

"Sadie!" Jack's tone had shifted from being teasing to almost desperate. "You don't get it! This girl... she doesn't take 'no' for an answer. Trust me... I've tried."

Sadie crossed her arms over her chest, settling further into the couch. "So your brilliant plan involves be pretending to be madly in love with you instead? Egotistical much."

"Shut up. If you're there, she'll see we're serious and she'll back off."

"And you don't think this is going to backfire? Or, I don't know, create a whole mess of awkwardness between us?" Sadie tilted her head, waiting for his response.

"It'll be fine. We're friends, right? We've kissed when we were drunk. We can handle a little fake dating for a few weeks. Plus, the thing with your parents... win-win?"

She sighed, feeling like she was fighting a battle she was gonna lose no matter what. She had mentioned it in passing--how her parents were always asking why she wasn't dating anyone. But this? Fake dating Jack? It sounded like the plot of a rom-com gone wrong.

"I don't know, Jack."

"Look, we'll just keep it simple. I won't make it weird, I promise. We'll hang at the lake house, do the whole 'couple' thing, and by the end of the summer, it's done. You're free. I'm free. And maybe we can get a few laughs out of it."

It sounded insane. Jack was her friend--her close friend--and she could see in his eyes how desperately he wanted her to say yes.

"You really think this will work?"

"Trust me. She'll be running away by the end of the first week."

With a heavy sigh, she finally nodded. "Fine. I'll do it. But you owe me."

"Deal! I owe you big time! But you won't regret this, Sades. It's going to be great!"

She wasn't so sure. It felt so much more complicated than Jack was letting on.

~~

A couple weeks later, Sadie found herself standing on the driveway of the Hughes' lake house. She was standing next to Jack, picking at the chipped nail polish on her fingers. She genuinely felt like she could puke.

"Relax, Sadie," Jack grinned, holding their suitcases. "It's gonna be great."

She narrowed her eyes, but didn't respond. His grin didn't falter, and he motioned with his head for her to walk toward the house. The second her foot hit the first step, the door flew open and Ellen came out with a smile on her face. A smile scarily similar to Jack's.

"You must be Sadie! It's so nice to meet you," she said warmly, wrapping the 21-year-old in a tight hug.

"Oh, uh, yeah. That's me," Sadie stammered, trying to return the hug without looking too awkward. It was one thing to pretend around Jack and whoever this scary neighbour girl was, but in front of his family was a whole other can of worms. It felt so much more real.

"We're so excited to have you here! Jack never stops talking about you."

"Doesn't he?" Sadie smirked, turning around to glance at her 'boyfriend' who was pretending he couldn't hear the conversation.

Before she could ask anymore, Ellen was leading her into the home with a hand on her back. "Come in! I'm just finishing getting dinner ready, and the rest of the family should be here soon. Quinn and Jim were picking Luke up from school, so the three of them will be here around 9."

"Moose's coming?" Jack piped up, dropping their bags on the floor. "I thought he wasn't gonna make it this year."

"Changed his mind last minute. We'll all be together," Ellen grinned, wiping her hands on a dish towel.

"I'm gonna show Sadie around upstairs, we'll be back down for dinner in like ten minutes."

"Sounds good. I left some fresh towels for you on Jack's bed."

"Oh. Thank you."

"No worries. You two go get settled."

Sadie followed Jack up the creaky wooden stairs, her mind still spinning from meeting Ellen. Everything about the situation felt real. Too real. Way, way too real.

"Your mom is... intense," she muttered, walking into the hallway as Jack pushed open the door to the room they'd be sharing for the summer.

"Yeah, well, that's Mom for you. She loves you already," Jack grinned, throwing himself onto the bed. He stretched out, folding his arms behind his head as if he was relaxed as ever. Like they weren't lying to his entire family.

Sadie sat awkwardly on the foot of the bed, scanning the room. It was cozy. A few posters on the walls, hockey-themed of course, and an old wooden dresser in the corner. The window overlooked the lake and Sadie thought she could fall in love with the idea of living here for the summer pretty quickly.

"So, we're sharing this bed, I take it?" she raised an eyebrow.

Jack chuckled, patting the matress next to him. "Come on, Sades. We're dating, remember? Gotta sell it."

She rolled her eyes, scooting up to sit next to Jack. "Just remember this is fake. No funny business, Hughes."

"I know, I know. Jeez. I already told you, I'm not gonna make it weird. Just for the summer. Then we're free."

She shook her head, already regretting everything. She had agreed to the plan, but now that she was there, standing in their home, sharing a bed--it all felt too close for comfort.

"Speaking of Luke. You didn't mention that your brothers were gonna be here."

"They're chill. Don't stress. Moose has been busy with shit at Umich and Quinn in Vancouver. They'll just be happy to relax. Plus, they don't usually care about talking girls and stuff. So they won't grill you. If anything, they'll give me shit for dating someone so out of my league."

"I'll believe it when I see it, Jack."

Jack snickered, standing up and walking over to the side of the bed she was on. He leaned down, his tone teasing. "Come on, Sades. Let's go down and eat dinner like a happy couple."

"You're so fucking annoying."

~~

Dinner went surprisingly smoothly. Ellen had a special way of making everything seem casual and lighthearted. Jack, of course, had been his usual... charming self, playing the role of the perfect doting boyfriend. He was good at it, touching her back lightly, pulling her chair out for her, and even dropping the occasional kiss on the top of her head.

It should've made her cringe, but instead she found it... comforting?

Ellen had asked the usual 'parent' questions--how they met, what Sadie was studying, if she liked hockey (which of course she had to answer yes to, knowing full well the consequences of not liking hockey in the Hughes household). Sadie played along, forcing herself to laugh at Jack's shit jokes and add details to the story they'd created on the drive up.

"Jack, why don't you take Sadie down to the dock and watch the sunset over the lake" Ellen suggested, clearing the table of plates. "It's beautiful tonight."

"Good idea, Mom," Jack agreed, standing up and taking Sadie's hand with a grin.

"Sure, sounds nice," Sadie forced a smile, trying not to feel awkward holding Jack's hand in front of his mother.

They walked out towards the dock, the cool air helping lift the weight of the day away. The lake stretched out before them, the water reflecting the orange and pink hues of the sunset. Sadie loved scenes like that. They brought her so much peace.

"You're doing great, by the way, Sadie."

She snorted, leaning her head on his shoulder. "I feel like I'm in some weird improv exercise. Just waiting for someone to figure out I don't belong here."

"They're not going to figure anything out," he whispered. "You've got this."

Lying to his family felt wrong, even if it was supposed to be for a good cause. Or at least a cause that Jack thought was good.

"This is going to be a very draining summer," she sighed.

"You wanna go to bed?"

"No, I need to stay up and meet your brothers and your dad."

"They'll still be here in the morning, Sades. If you want to go to sleep, nobody is gonna stop you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, come on. Let's get you some sleep."

~~

"Who's shoes are those?" Luke asked, closing the front door behind him.

"Jack's girlfriend's! You just missed her, she went to sleep about half an hour ago," Ellen smiled, pulling her youngest son into a hug.

"His girlfriend?"

"Yes! Sadie is her name. Such a nice girl. Very pretty too."

Luke looked back down at the shoes again, his mind still trying to catch up with what his mom was saying. Jack's girlfriend? The words felt so unfamiliar. Jack didn't talk about dating much, at least not in a serious way, so hearing about Sadie--a girl he apparently cared enough about to bring home--caught him so off guard.

"Yeah. Jack didn't mention much about her."

"He didn't? Oh, well, you'll meet her in the morning," she reached up to ruffle his hair, like he was still a little kid playing chase around the house with his brothers. "She's lovely. A little shy at first, but I'll sure she'll warm up to everyone. Probably just worried about making a good first impression."

Luke nodded, but inside his curiousity was growing. Shy? He hadn't heard Jack describe anyone as shy in, well, ever. Jack's type was the total opposite--bold, confident, the kind of girl that could hang with his rowdy ass friends without missing a beat. This Sadie girl was starting to sound a lot different than that.

"Well, let's get you boys fed before we all call it a night," Jim said, patting Luke's shoulder as he passed. "Your mom saved us some leftovers from dinner."

Luke followed his dad and Quinn into the kitchen, but his thoughts were still on the mysterious girl that had apparently stolen his brother's heart. Jack had never even mentioned a Sadie before and suddenly she was at the lake house. It all felt off.

~~

Sadie woke up feeling as sweaty as ever. The house had AC but Jack was like a personal heater and somehow they'd ended up spooning at some point in the night. There was a thin layer of sweat between her back and Jack's chest and she felt disgusting.

Groaning quietly, she pulled herself out of his grip, using her shirt to wipe her back. Jack was still fast asleep, the duvet kicked around his feet. Typical. Jack could sleep through a fucking earthquake.

She swung her legs out of bed and padded to the bathroom, hoping a splash of cold water would make her feel more like herself. She thought about what Jack had said last night--about how nobody would figure them out. But staring at herself in the mirror, she felt like it was written all over her face.

She didn't belong here.

She threw on the first clothes she could find, a pair of jean shorts and one of Jack's many Devils t-shirts. By the time she made her way downstairs, the kitchen was already bustling. Ellen was preparing breakfast while Jim sat at the table sipping a cup of coffee.

"Morning, Sadie! Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, thanks," she forced a smile.

"Jack still asleep?"

"Out cold."

Ellen chuckled, shaking her head. "Sounds about right."

Sadie smiled, but before she could respond, the sound of footsteps behind her caught her attention. She turned just as Luke appeared in the doorway, fresh from a morning run, judging the sweat on his forehead and the way his grey shirt clung to his torso.

For a moment, neither of them spoke. Luke's eyes landed on her, sharp and curious. There was something about the way he looked at her that made her feel like he was sizing her up--not in a rude way, but in a way that made her stomach flip uncomfortably.

"You must be Sadie," he made his way further into the kitchen. "I'm Luke."

"Yeah," she extended her hand to him. "Nice to meet you."

Luke shook her head, his grip firm but brief. His blue eyes lingered on hers for a second longer than she expected before he pulled away, glancing towards the coffeemaker.

"You're the one who got Jack all domestic?" he teased, grabbing a mug. "Didn't see that coming."

She laughed softly, "I don't know about 'domestic,' but... I guess I'm the one who convinced him to bring me here."

Luke smirked, like he wasn't entirely buying it. "Yeah. I guess."

Sadie got cut off again, but this time by Quinn entering the room. "Ah, so this is the famous Sadie! Nice to finally put a face to the name."

Thank God for Quinn.

~~

Sadie sat on the dock, her feet dangling over the water, her book open on her lap. Jack and Quinn had gone to get the boat from the marina and Sadie had taken the opportunity to relax a bit.

She had laid a towel under her, Jack's t-shirt removed because she was not about to get a farmer's tan. She was basking in the sun, feeling the gentle warmth of the sun on her extremely pale skin. The world around her disappearing as she flipped through the novel. She was really enjoying it until she came to a parapgraph about suspicion. It took her right back to her interaction with Luke that morning. It was like he saw right through her, could sense all the cracks in her story. She had to be careful, maybe Luke was smarter than he seemed.

But footsteps on the dock behind her broke her train of thought. She glanced over her should, expecting to see that either Jack or Quinn had returned with the car from the marina, but it was Luke. He wasn't in the workout clothes he'd been wearing earlier, now dressed in a white t-shirt and board shorts, clearly ready for a swim.

"You mind if I join?" Luke asked, the same playful charm in his voice that Jack carried.

"Sure, it's your family's dock after all."

Luke smirked, dropping a towel beside her before sitting down, his legs also hanging over the water. He didn't say anything for awhile, just stared out over the water. Sadie went back to reading, well now she was pretending to read, her main focus being on how closely he was sitting next to her.

"So," he broke the silence. "How'd you and Jack meet?"

There it was--more lying about her and Jack. Sadie knew Luke was already suspicious of her, so she had to play her cards right. She looked up from her book, trying to keep her body language calm. "Friends. Some of his, uh, his friends go to school with me. So..."

"Friends, huh?" He was testing her, waiting for her to trip up.

"Yeah, like slow burn," she shrugged. "We hung out with a big group of friends first. You know how it goes."

Luke was silent for a moment, staring down at the waves lapping the dock. "Yeah, I guess, I do. Jack's never mentioned you before."

Sadie felt her stomach lurch, but she forced a smile. "Well, we kept things on the down-low for a while. Just us. It's still... kinda new."

"Makes sense," Luke's tone made it clear he wasn't entirely convinced. He shifted, resting his elbows on his knees, staring out at the lake again. "Just seems strange, I guess. Jack never brings girls here. And then... suddenly, you."

"I guess I'm just lucky," she swallowed harshly.

For a moment, she thought he might say something else--might press her further--but instead, he stood up and grabbed his towel.

"I'll leave you to it. Nice talking, Sadie," he walked off, completely disregarding the fact that he had clearly come out to swim. She just watched him retreat. It was clear he didn't trust her, hopefully Jack could fix that. She didn't need him figuring anything out before the trip was over. That was certain.

~~

The sound of the boat engine humming across the water was the perfect background noise on a sunny afternoon. Sadie sat on the edge, occasionally letting her fingers trail through the lake below. Jack was steering them out to the centre of the water, Quinn sat up front basking in the sun, and Luke leaned casually against the small railing on the side.

"You ever driven one of these?" Luke asked, nodding towards the steering wheel.

Sadie looked over to Jack, who was too busy concentrating on his driving to respond. She smirked, "Jack never lets anyone take the wheel. He likes to be in control."

Quinn laughed, "Sounds about right. Captain Jack, over here. Watch out Sadie or he might start asking you to call him that."

"Don't give him any ideas," she groaned, flicking her gaze back to Jack. She really hoped that the banter seemed real and not forced.

"You love it, Sades! You're just mad because you can't even drive a car for shit."

"Hey! You've never given me a chance on a boat," she shot back, standing up and making her way to Jack.

"I think I have a good reason."

Sadie placed a hand on his shoulder, leaning in closer as she laughed. It felt so strange to have to be so physically close to Jack on purpose, but she was learning to fake it well. "Maybe I'll surprise you one day."

Quinn chuckled, "Honestly, Rowdy, give her a shot. What's the worst that could happen?"

"She crashes into the dock?" Jack raised an eyebrow, still smirking, one of his hands casually finding it's way around Sadie's bare waist. She stiffened slightly at first, but relaxed quickly after reminding herself to play the part.

"I'm more worried about you crashing into the dock," Sadie shot back.

Luke, who had been silently observing the whole ordeal, cracked a grin. "She's probably better at steering than you think, Jack. You're just a control freak."

Sadie stole a glance, glad to see Luke was no longer sending any weird looks her way.

"Alright, fine," Jack sighed, turning the wheel just slightly to change course. "Maybe I'll let you drive next time. If you're lucky."

Quinn snorted, "If she's lucky? You mean if she gives you head?"

Sadie's jaw dropped, but all three Hughes brothers started laughing like it was the funniest joke she'd ever heard. God, she'd never understand men.

~~

The boat had been anchored and Sadie sat with Jack near the edge. Luke and Quinn were busy talking about who could pull off a better dive, leaving the 'couple' alone.

Sadie lowered her voice, looking around to see if the other boys were listening. "Jack, I think Luke is catching on."

"Catching on? What're you talking about?"

Sadie sighed. "Earlier today, he was asking me all these questions. It felt like he was suspicious. Like he knows this whole thing is all an act."

Jack chuckled, knocking his shoulder with hers. "Sades, he's just messing with you. Trust me, he's not suspicious of anything. That's just how he is. He's probably giving you a hard time because he knows it'll get under your skin."

She bit her lip, not fully convinced. "I don't know... I don't want him to say something to your parents or--"

"Relax," he softly grabbed her hand. "It's going fine. They all like you, and no one is doubting anything. Promise."

Sadie looked around again, but Quinn and Luke were now splashing each other in the water. "I guess you're right. I'm probably just overthinking shit."

"Exactly. Now, where's the Sadie I know? I'm not a fan of this anxious, worrywart. Where's the flirty, confident, almost scary Sadie that I became friends with?"

She just shook her head, a real smile making its way across her face. Jack leaned back, stretching his arms behind him. "Come on, Sades. Let's make the most of this. Summer is supposed to be funnnn."

"Okay," she giggled. "Let's have some fun."

She quickly stood up and cannon-balled into the lake. Luke and Quinn cheered her on, as Jack shook his head and laughed. "There's my girl!"

~~

Sadie, Jack, Luke, and Quinn sat on deck chairs around the firepit, drinks in hand. It had been a long day spent out on the water, but the fun wasn't over just yet. The laughter was now coming even easier than before with the addition of alcohol.

Sadie leaned heavily into Jack's side, his arm draped over her shoulders, her head resting on him. She finally felt like herself, carefree. Jack's closeness didn't feel awkward anymore; it felt natural, or maybe that was just the alcohol.

"Alright, Sadie," Quinn said, his speech slurred slightly. "I gotta know what it's like dating Jack? He's gotta be a pain in the ass."

"Oh, you have no idea," she teased. "He thinks he's funny. Most of the time, he's just annoying."

Jack gasped dramatically, clutching his chest with his free hand. "Wow. You wound me, Sades. I'm hilarious."

"Debatable," she quipped, running her fingers along the seam of his shirt as she settled against him more comfortably.

"Okay, but for real," Luke piped up, "how'd you two even get together? I don't think Jack has ever brought a girl here."

She glanced at Jack, who winked at her before answering.

"It just happened, I guess. We were hanging out with a group of friends, like I told you guys, and then one day... I just knew she was the one for me."

"Oh, you knew, huh? That's not how I remember it," Sadie giggled.

"What's your version, Sadie?" Luke raised an eyebrow.

"Well... Jack was chasing after me for months, trying to get me to go out with him. I was playing hard to get."

Jack cackled, "That's not how it went."

"It's exactly how it went," she shot back, her voice full of confidence. "He practically begged me to go on a date with him."

Luke and Quinn were in stitches, the banter between her and Jack clearly entertaining them. Sadie felt so much more like herself. The earlier tension she felt from Luke's questions had melted away with the first sip of vodka.

Just as Sadie was about to make another joke at Jack's expense, the sound of footsteps cruncing against gravel caught her attention. She glanced over her shoulder to see a figure making their toward them. Sadie tensed.

It had to be that neighbour girl that Jack had warned her about. The whole reason this shit was happening.

The girl strutted up to the firepit, her eyes locking on Jack like he was the only person there. She didn't even acknowledge Sadie's presence, instead giving Jack a flirtatious smile as she drew closer.

"Well, well," her tone was sugary sweet. "Didn't know you were back in town, Jack."

Sadie felt Jack also tense beside her, but he didn't move his arm from her shoulders. He smiled politely, but there was no mistaking the discomfort in his eyes. "Yes, Natalie, we're here every summer."

The girl, Natalie, flicked her bleach blonde hair over her shoulder. "It's been a while. You should come over sometime. We could... catch up."

Sadie could tell from the girl's body language that she wasn't taking no for an answer. Natalie's obvious attempt to flirt with Jack was so blatant, it was almost laughable. It would've been laughable if it wasn't so goddamn irritating.

Luke and Quinn exchanged amused glances.

Sadie straightened up, pushing her body closer to Jack's. "He's a little busy right now," Sadie's voice was low but firm.

"Oh, I'm sure Jack can make time. Can't you, Jacky?"

Sadie's blood boiled. Natalie wasn't getting the message. She glanced at Jack, who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there, then made a quick decision. Without hesitation, Sadie reached up, grabbed Jack's face in both hands, and pulled him into a kiss. Not a soft, delicate one, but a full-on, heated make out session that left no room for misinterpretation. She was making sure that everyone knew who Jack belonged to.

Jack responded immediately, his hands moving to rest on her waist as he kicked her back, clearly caught up in the moment. It was all part of the act, but Sadie could feel the passion in it, the alcohol blurring the line between fake and real.

When she pulled away, breathless and bright red, she didn't even look at Jack. She instead kept her gaze locked on Natalie, who was staring at them in stunned silence.

"Like I said," Sadie's voice was full of cool confidence, "he's busy."

Natalie's face twisted into a scowl, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. She shot Jack and Sadie one last frustrated look before scoffing and turning on her heel, storming off into the night like a child throwing a tantrum.

Quinn let out a low whistle. "Damn, Sadie. Remind me not to get on your bad side."

"That was brutal," Luke agreed.

She shrugged, playing it off like it was nothing, even though her heart was pounding in her chest. "She wasn't getting it. Had to make it clear."

Jack, still recovering from the intensity of the kiss, grinned down at her. "You sure did."

~~

The room spun slightly as Sadie fumbled with the zipper on her shorts, still giggling about how the night had unfolded. Jack leaned against the door, watching her with a lazy grin, the alcohol still buzzing in his system.

"That kiss though," Jack teased, his voice slurred as he kicked off his shoes. "You really sold it, Sades. I think you scared Natalie away for life."

"Good," she smirked, peeling off her shorts and tossing them aside, not bothering with modesty. She started tugging her t-shirt over her head. "She wasn't getting the hint. Had to go for the kill."

Jack's eyes flickered to her as she changed, the casualness of it all catching him off guard. He swallowed, his throat suddenly very dry as he tried not to stare. Sadie, half-naked, standing there like it was nothing--it was making his head spin even more than it already was.

He blinked, knowing he shouldn't have been distracted like that, especially when they were just playing pretend. But Sadie didn't seem to notice nor care. She was sat on the bed, running her hands through her hair, her laughter replaced by a serious expression.

"Jack. I was actually really nervous... earlier. With meeting your parents, then Luke asking all those questions, and then fucking Natalie showed up."

Jack shook off his drunken haze. He sat down beside her, trying to focus on her words and the fact that her skin was glowing under the light in the room. "Nervous? You seemed to have it under control out there."

"I was faking. Well, partly. Thought maybe Luke's questions about us were to find holes or that Quinn was part of his plan."

"Sades, I'm not sure how many times I have to tell you. Nobody is suspicious."

"I just didn't want to mess this up for you. The whole fake dating thing--it's for you, and I didn't want to fuck it all up by being... weird."

"You weren't weird. You were amazing. And that kiss? I think you might have convinced me we're really dating."

"So... no one's doubting?"

Jack shook his head, his hand brushing gently against her back. "Nope. That kiss probably wiped away any doubts that Quinn or Luke might've had. You sold it. Hell, I think Luke might've been jealous."

She smirked at the thought, "Yeah? Jealous, huh?"

Jack grinned, leaning his forehead against hers. "Definitely. You've got nothing to worry about now. We've got this."

There was a quiet moment between them. The alcohol buzz still hanging in the air, but it was softer now, replaced by something warmer, more intimate. Jack's hand slid up to her shoulder, his touch gentle as he pulled her closer.

"I'm really glad you're here."

She leaned into him, resting her head against his chest. "Me too."

They lay back on the bed, neither bothering to change further. Jack's arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her into his side as she snuggled against him. The steady rise and fall of Jack's chest beneath her cheek, lulling her to sleep.

~~

Jack and Quinn were gone for the day, some sort of offseason training session by some bigshot NHL personal trainer. The guy hadn't invited Luke, so he was stuck at the house with Sadie and his parents.

Sadie was stretched out on a towel in the backyard, basking in the sunshine, her earbuds playing some soft country music. She was enjoying her peaceful solitude.

Or so she thought.

When she turned her head slightly to adjust her sunglasses, she caught a glimpse of Luke standing on the back porch. He was leaning against the railing, looking right at her. His eyes flickered away as soon as she spotted him, but it was too late. Sadie had seen him staring.

A mischievous grin tugged at her lips.

Caught you.

Deciding to have a little fun with it, Sadie flipped onto her front, resting her chin on her folded arms. Then, with a playful smirk, she reached behind her and undid the knot on her bikini top, letting it fall loose against the towel beneath her. Luke couldn't actually see shit, but she thought it was hilarious to tease him.

After a few beats of silence, Sadie couldn't help but sneak a peek in his direction. Luke was still on the porch, but his posture was tense, clearly flustered. His eyes darted between her and the lake, like he wasn't sure where to look.

She bit her lip to hold back a laugh. Oh, this is too good.

Satisfied with the teasing, she casually rolled back onto her back and retyed her top like nothing had happened. Then she stood up, grabbing her book and towel, she sauntered back inside with a smirk tugging at her lips. She didn't need to look back to know there were still a set of blue eyes staring at her.

~~

Luke wandered into the living room, hesitating briefly at the door before walking to Sadie on the couch. His hair was still slightly damp from a dip in the lake, and he seemed almost more relaxed without Jack and Quinn there.

"Hey, mind if I sit here?"

"Go for it," she replied, looking up from her book. She shifted over to make space for him.

Luke sat down and stretched his legs out in front of him as he leaned back in an attempt to look casual. It didn't work and Sadie could still feel the tension in the air. She knew Luke was flustered about the whole backyard situation and she found it fucking hilarious.

"You're always reading," he remarked, nodding towards the book in her hands. "What is it this time?"

She raised an eyebrow and flipped the book around so he could see the cover. "I'm not 'always' reading. You've caught me reading twice. And it's just something to kill time. You know, since your brother is off pretending he's a celebrity."

"Yeah, Jack's like that. Always pretending he's the best," Luke chose to ignore her remark about him only seeing her reading twice.

"Must've been annoying growing up with him," Sadie teased.

"Oh, it was. But he's alright. Could've been worse."

The conversation continued easily from there, their voices filling the silent house with stories about their childhoods, embarrassing moments, and life in general. Luke found himself relaxing more and more as Sadie talked. She was sharp, funny, and this special energy that drew him in. The confident, teasing girl from the backyard was showing her soft side and he could see why Jack was head over heels in love with her,

Sadie yapped about her life in university, the friends she had back home in Jersey, and even some wild stories from a girls' trip to New York. Luke listened, hanging off of every word. She was cool, and not in a superficial way, but genuinely cool. She wasn't just Jack's girlfriend. She was Sadie. And she was amazing.

But with that realization came guilt.

He watched her laugh as she told a funny story, and Luke felt the pull growing inside him. He was really starting to like her. Maybe too much.

This was Jack's girlfriend. He shouldn't feel that way about Jack's girlfriend.

He knew it was wrong, but he made no effort to distance himself from her. Instead, he found himself drawn to her more and more, wanting to sit there with her, to hear her laugh again, to see the smirk that covered her face when she teased him.

"So, how about you?" she asked, snapping him from this thoughts. "What's it like being the baby? Bet Jack gave you hell."

"They both did. But especially Jack. He never, ever let me forget I was the youngest. Always had to one-up me."

"Sounds like Jack," she grinned, and Luke's smile faltered at the lovestruck look on her face at the meer mention of Jack. "Bet you're giving it right back now."

"I try." There was a brief lull in conversation and the silence that followed felt like it was charged with electricity.

Sadie held his gaze a beat longer than she should have before breaking the eye contact with a playful smile. "Well, if you ever need any tips on how to outsmart Jack, I've got plenty."

"I might just have to take you up on that."

~~

The sun lay low in the late afternoon sky making the lake look like it was sparkling. Sadie and Luke stood by the water's edge, still filling in the quiet hours without Jack and Quinn.

Sadie grinned, nudging Luke with her elbow. "Bet you can't beat me in a water fight."

"You're on."

Without warning, Sadie walked off into the water, her laugh echoing as she turned around to splash Luke. He barely had time to react before a wave of water was hitting his lower legs.

"Oh, it's like that?" Luke laughed, taking off after her.

It didn't take long before they were having a full-on war, splashing each other mercilessly. Sadie couldn't stop laughing as Luke chased her through the water. After on particularly good splash, she tried to swim away, but Luke caught up to her, his hands gripping her waist as he tried to dunk her. Sadie squealed in protest, kicking her legs.

"Let go, you cheater!" she giggled, twisting in his grip.

Luke grinned, he really liked how infectous her laugh was. But as they wrestled in the water, something shifted. His hands lingered on her waist longer than they should have. Her skin was riddled in goosebumps from the cold water, but still felt smooth under this touch, and suddenly the playful moment didn't seem quite as innocent.

Shit.

Sadie, still in the middle of laughing and trying to escape his hold, didn't seem to notice the change in him. She was completely carefree, seeing the moment for what it was--a game. But Luke wasn't feeling it anymore. His throat felt tight and pulse picked up.

His hands were still on her waist.

Luke's breath hitched, and before she could turn around and see the look on his face, he let go, stumbling backward in the water.

"You good? You're not giving up already, are you?"

Luke forced a chuckle, but it came out sounding way more like a cough. "Uh, yeah, I--uh, I think I've had enough."

Without waiting for her response, he quickly waded out of the water and back onto the shore. The evening breeze did nothing to cool his flustered state.

Sadie was still in the water, floating on her back with a smile on her face. "Aw, come on!"

He just mumbled something incoherent, grabbed his towel, and hurried back into the house without even looking her way.

~~

Luke rushed past his parents in the kitchen, heading straight for his room. He slammed the door shut behind him and flopped down onto the bed, shoving his face in a pillow. He wanted to scream, but even the pillow wouldn't muffle the sound enough from anyone downstairs.

I'm attracted to her.

The thought hit him like a freight train, the words echoing over and over again like a prayer. It wasn't just some innocent crush. He was undeniably, painfully attracted to Sadie--his brother's girlfriend.

How had he let it get this far? She was dating Jack. She was Jack's girlfriend. And yet, anytime she laughed or smiled at him, Luke felt like a fucking high schooler.

He couldn't stop it, couldn't ignore it anymore.

He hadn't meant to hold her like that in the water. It was meant to be just a harmless game, but he had taken it too far in his mind. Sadie, however, hadn't even seemed to notice. Maybe she did and she was just ignoring it. Surely that was it.

"You're such a fucking idiot, Luke," he cursed himself, but every time he closed his eyes all he could see was how perfect she had looked in that moment.

The worst part of all? He didn't want to stop feeling that way.

Even as the guilt knawed at him, he couldn't bring himself to want to distance from her. Being around Sadie felt good. It felt natural. And that scared him even more.

Suddenly, he heard laughter from the hallway outside his door. Luke froze, listening as Jack's voice joined in, low and teasing, followed by Sadie's giggles.

Luke squeezed his eyes shut, willing away the guilt. But then there was a pause in the laughter. He could picture what was happening. The way that Jack was looking at Sadie. The that Sadie was looking back up at Jack with a smile on her face, maybe teasing him.

Then... the sound of a kiss broke the silence. It was soft, but it might as well have been the loudest thing that Luke had ever heard. His stomach twisted, and he tried to shove his face further into the pillow, but it was no use the couple was back to laughing.

This is wrong. It's all wrong. But as wrong as he knew it was, he couldn't deny the truth.

He was falling for Sadie. And he was falling for Sadie... hard.

~~

The whole family and Sadie were gathered around the pool table, Jim and Ellen watching from the corner, while the "kids" took their turns at the competetive game that had started.

Sadie was standing next to Jack, leaning against the wall with a gin and tonic, that her "boyfriend" had made her, in her hand. She was watching Quinn line up his shot, her eyes crinkling as she laughed about whatever it was that Jack was whispering to her about. Jack had his arm draped over her shoulders, pulling her closer as she laughed. They looked so comfortable. So perfect.

Luke stood across from them, gripping his pool cue so tightly that his knuckles had turned white. Every laugh that Jack and Sadie shared, every playful nudge, felt like a stab to his gut.

"Alright, Sades, your go," Jack kissed her cheek before handing her a cue.

She leaned over the table, lining up her shot with Jack standing behind her, offering a few "helpful" tips. His hand rested on her lower back, guiding her aim. Quinn looked over at Luke, raising his eyebrows as if to say "look how suggestive he's being."

Luke just shook his head, trying to focus on the game. But all he could think about was how close and touchy they were being. And how it made his stomach churn with something that he could only guess was jealousy.

Fuck, it was so messed up.

"Luke, it's your turn," Quinn called.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, right," he blinked, shaking his head. He stepped up to the table, trying to compose himself as he lined up his shot. He missed it by a mile, the ball ricocheting off the side with a loud thunk.

"Wow, nice one, Rusty," Jack teased.

His jaw was clenched, "Guess I'm just off tonight."

Sadie didn't even notice, giggling as Jack asked for her opinion on their next move. Why were they acting like they were the only ones in the room? Was nobody else finding it annoying? Luke glanced at his mom. She was smiling at the young couple, a lovestruck look on her face. Maybe he was the only one that found it annoying.

~~

Sadie lay sprawled across Jack's bed, her phone held loosely in her hand as she scrolled through texts from her friends back home. Jack was in the shower, insisting he wash the lake water off his body. She had some time to kill and her friends, that weren't her friend group with Jack, were ready to gossip.

The Hottest Girls in Jersey Sadie, Alex, and Carly

Carly: Soooo, how's it going with Mr. NHL?? Alex: yeah, girl. spill. is he, like, actually boyfriend material or are you just having a hot ass summer fling??

Sadie rolled her eyes at their messages, biting her lip as she thought of her reply.

Sadie: it's... complicated Carly: Ugh, isn't it always lol Alex: we need details, sades. what's complicated? the sex? the family? Sadie: family's cool. his mom is like super sweet. and his brothers are... yeah Carly: Oh, brothers, huh? Now you like reallyyyyy need to spill

Sadie hesitated, glancing towards the bathroom door. She could still hear Jack humming to himself while the water ran. No way he was gonna come out and read her messages any time soon.

Sadie: okay, fine. it's not really jack. it's luke Carly: LUKE?! Alex: WAIT. WHAT. HIS BROTHER LUKE?! Sadie: yep. younger brother, but soooooo much more my type Carly: Girllllll, you're bad Alex: hold the fucking phone. is this the guy we're talking about here? what's wrong with jack, then? isn't he like the only reason you're there?

She chuckled to herself, it did kinda sound insane when she typed it all out.

Sadie: jack's great. don't get me wrong. but, luke... he's like more quiet. jack's more playful and sassy, but idk... plus i love a boy with curly hair Carly: You're catching feelings for his brother??? Holy shit, girl Alex: lmao this is legit some CW ass drama

She rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling. Maybe it was a little ridiculous, but it was true. Luke was more her type. He was tall, not that Jack wasn't tall, but Luke was tall. He had the cutest nose and the best curls she'd ever seen. Jack was fun. Jack was easy. But Luke...

Sadie: it's not that deep. but yeah, ig i'm more into luke than jack Carly: Oooo Alex: you're fake dating jack tho, right? like what's the plan here?? Sadie: i don't fucking know!!! nothing's happened with luke, obviously. but like next time we're alone? i might see what happens ;) Carly: You are fucking INSANE, Sadie!!! Alex: if you're that desperate, you've got Jack right there...

She laughed out loud at Alex's message. She was definitely not desperate, but she still glanced to the bathroom door. The water had stopped. Jack would be out any second.

Sadie: trust me, i'm not desperate. luke's gonna be the move

Just as she hit send, Jack emerged from the bathroom, towel hung low on his hips.

"Texting the girls?" he ran a hand through his wet hair.

She slipped her phone under the pillow, a playful smile on her face. "Yeah, they were asking about you."

Jack raised an eyebrow, falling down onto the bed next to her. "All good things, I hope?"

She snorted, "Guess you'll never know."

He rolled his eyes, pressing a soft kiss to her hair. "Whatever. You were probably telling them how much of a stud I am."

Sadie smirked, though her mind was still buzzing with the excitement of what she'd just admitted to her friends. Jack had no idea, and honestly? That just made it even more thrilling.

~~

Jack bounded into the living room, his backpack slung over one of his shoulders. Sadie was sat on the couch, scrolling passively through Instagram, while Luke stood in the kitchen chugging a glass of water.

"I'm headed to the rink for a few hours," Jack announced, slapping his hand on the back of the couch, full of energy. "Got a little off-season workout with Q and some of the guys."

"A workout?" Sadie quirked an eyebrow. "You never stop, do you?

"That's what makes me so irrresistible, babe." He shot her a wink before turning to Luke. "You busy?"

Luke wiped the back of his hand across his mouth, setting down his glass. "Not really."

"Why don't you keep her company? You guys should hang out. Show her around town or something."

Luke flushed, his eyes flickering to Sadie, who was sat with an amused smile on her face. "Uh, yeah, sure."

"Perfect!" Jack leaned down and kissed Sadie's cheek. "Don't miss me too much while I'm gone, okay?"

"I'll try," she giggled, leaning into his touch but keeping her eyes on Luke.

"See you later! Have fun!"

And just like that Jack was gone.

"Well, looks like it's just us again," Sadie said, stretching dramatically.

"Yeah, guess so."

Sadie stood from the couch, tapping her finger against her lips as if she was thinking. "You know what we should do?"

"What?"

"Go for a swim! It's hot out, and the lake looks amazing."

Luke hesitated. He wasn't sure he could handle that again. But before he could come up with an excuse, Sadie was heading toward the back door.

"Come on! Don't make me swim alone. I might drown."

By the time he made it down to the dock, Sadie was standing at the edge, her back to him as she looked out over the water. She had stripped down to her bikini--a simple black one that fit her like a glove.

Luke shook his head. He had no right to stare. Jack's girlfriend, not his. Get a grip.

"Took you long enough, Luke. Thought you were going to bail on me."

"Just... taking my time." He managed a weak laugh.

"Uh-huh." She dipped her toe in the lake, testing the temperature. "Water feels amazing. Bet I can beat you in."

She dove in without even waiting for an answer. She resurfced a few feet out, shaking the water from her hair and grinning at him. "What're you waiting for?"

Luke hesitated for just a second longer before diving in after her. The shock of the cool water cleared his head. That was until he surfaced and saw Sadie floating nearby, her hair splayed around her like a halo.

"See? Told you it feels amazing."

He swam a bit closer, but decided to keep his distance. "Yeah, guess you were right."

Sadie flipped onto her stomach, treading water as she swam to him. "Relax." She nudged her shoulder with his. "You look so tense."

Her tone was light, but the promixity of them felt almost dangerous. "I am relaxed."

"Bullshit. You look like the tensest motherfucker ever," she splashed him, the water hitting him square in the face. "Come on. Loosen up."

Luke sputtered, wiping the water from his eyes. "Oh, it's gonna be like that, huh?"

"Just sayin'... life's too short to be serious all the time," her hand brushed his arm as she floated by, leaving goosebumps in her wake.

Her touch was light, casual, but it still made it so he couldn't think straight. He wanted to keep his distance, but she wasn't making it easy in the slightest.

"You and I should do this more often," she mused.

"What? Swim?"

She scoffed, "No. Hang out."

Was she messing with him? Or was she being serious? He couldn't tell with her. Her teasing had been light and innocent until now. Now every word that left her mouth felt like it had a second meaning.

"I... I don't know."

What kind of shit response was that? God, he looked like an idiot.

She swam closer to him, stopping when she was right in front of his face. "You don't know? I think you do, Luke."

He could feel her leg brushing against his and his whole body felt like it was one fire despite the cool water. He should've pulled back, but he couldn't. He was frozen.

"Ha! You're cute when you're flustered."

For a moment, he felt himself lean in, as if there was an invisible force pulling him to her. But just as quickly, Sadie pulled away, climbing back onto the dock and swaying her hips as she headed back to the house, leaving the boy completely flabbergasted.

~~

Jim and Ellen had left for a special dinner out and Jack had quickly suggested a game night, complete with alcohol and whatever games they could find in the basement. Luke had agreed, only because he knew he could drink, and that might make being in the same room as Sadie more bearable.

"Alright, team," Jack tossed a can of beer to Luke, who caught it without looking "Game night is on. Hope you're ready to lose, Qball."

"Yeah, yeah. You always say that, but I'm the one who wins."

"You guys don't stand a chance. Right, babe?" Sadie grinned up at Jack.

"You bet. Dream team right here."

Luke looked at them, all snuggled up together. He blinked a few times before chugging the rest of his beer. Jack laughed, "Alright, Lukey." He tossed him another one, getting ready to explain the rules of the game.

By the third round, Jack had pulled Sadie into his lap, his arms wrapped around her waist like a seatbelt. They were laughing, whispering inside jokes, and exchanging kisses, acting like they were the only people in the room.

Luke tried to focus on the game, but he found himself looking up to see Sadie running her fingers through Jack's hair, her other hand squeezing his thigh.

He wanted to believe that she had meant something by the little act she'd put on at the lake. But seeing her all over Jack made him feel like he'd never been so wrong. She was clearly into Jack. She didn't mean anything by it. She's just... being friendly.

So why did it feel like more?

"Can you guys like chill?" Quinn spoke up. "We're trying to play a game, not watch you two make out."

"Oh, come on, Quinn. We're just having fun," Sadie giggled.

"Yeah, don't be a buzzkill," Jack added, pressing kisses to her neck.

"There's having fun, and then there's..." Quinn paused, his voice laced with annoyance. "You're practically having sex in front of us."

"Jealous?"

"No, Luke and I just don't wanna see that."

"Whatever."

"Your turn, Luke."

"Right," he muttered, grabbing the dice and rolling it halfheartedly. The alcohol wasn't helping, dulling his senses and making everything worse. He kept glancing at Sadie, hoping for some sign that she was aware of what she was doing to him, but she didn't even look his way.

The final straw came when Jack, clearly tipsy, pulled Sadie in for a long, slow kiss right in the middle of Quinn's turn. Jack and Sadie were known by their friends for their drunk kisses, but his brothers really didn't want to see it.

"I'm done. You two aren't even playing!" Quinn threw his hands up.

"Fine, fine. We'll stop! Happy now?"

"No. I'm going to bed before I see something even worse."

"Uh, yeah, me too. Night guys," Luke nodded, following his oldest brother.

"Bedtime?" Jack laughed.

"Yeah, bedtime, I guess."

~~

Luke hadn't gone to bed. He couldn't sleep. His brain wouldn't shut up. It had been a couple hours since game night had ended and he felt more sober than he was before he started drinking. Maybe he was insane. Maybe Sadie had driven him to his breaking point. She was so goddamn confusing. And--

"Hey."

"What're you doing out here? Shouldn't you be with Jack?"

She shrugged, closing the sliding door behind her. "He's passed out. I wanted to come find you."

"Sadie, you really shouldn't--"

"I know what you're going to say. But I think you're wrong."

"Wrong?"

Sadie moved in, her hand reaching for his, her fingers tracing along his wrist. "You're overthinking things, Luke."

His breath hitched as she leaned in, her face inches from his, her lips so close he could feel her breath. He should've pulled away. He should've told her to stop.

But he didn't. He couldn't.

Instead, Luke closed the gap between them, his lips crashing against hers in a desperate, longing kiss.

She kissed him back, her hands sliding up to his shoulders. Her touch sent sparks through his body. But those sparks made reality set in.

He pulled away, his chest heaving. "No. This is wrong."

"What?"

"You need to stop," he stood up suddenly, almost making Sadie fall over. His voice was full of anger. "This... this whole thing is fucked up, Sadie. You're Jack's girlfriend."

She stared at him for a second or two before, to Luke's surprise, she started laughing.

"What the hell is so funny?" Luke snapped. "I'm going to tell him. I'm going to tell Jack everything. He needs to know what you've been doing."

"You don't get it, do you?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Jack and I aren't really together."

"What... what do you mean?"

Sadie sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. "It's fake. The whole thing--it's just an act."

"An act? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Jack needed me to play the part of his girlfriend for the summer," Sadie explained, her tone casual as if everything she was saying was normal. "Natalie, the neighbour girl. She's obsessed with Jack. And she won't take no for answer. So he asked me to pretend to be his girlfriend so she'd leave him alone."

"So... this is all fake?"

"Yep. We've just been playing the part, that's all."

"But... you guys... you were kissing. You're all over each other."

Sadie shrugged, her smile turning sheepish. "That... that's just something that happens when we drink. No big deal."

"No big deal? You guys were making out in front of us, and you're saying it doesn't mean anything?"

"Exactly. Jack and I are close friends. That's all it is. No feelings involved," her tone was so matter-of-fact it made Luke's stomach churn. "All for show. We figured the more real it looks, the less people will question it."

"So... you don't have feelings for him?"

"For Jack? No. We're friends. Nothing more. We've been friends since he joined the Devils. And yeah, we get a bit... affectionate when we drink. But it's never been serious."

"Then why... why were you flirting with me?"

"Because, Luke... you're the definition of my type." She reached out and brushed her hand against his cheek. "Didn't think it was that hard to figure out."

"But Jack..."

"Jack doesn't care," she cut him off. "He's the one that suggested I hang out with you more. He's clueless. He only cares that I keep Natalie away from him."

"So this whole time, you've been..."

"I've been flirting with you. And you've been trying soooo hard to resist. It's kinda cute."

He had been so sure that what he felt was wong--so convinced that he was betraying Jack. Now... now he didn't know what to think.

"This is... this is insane."

"Maybe. But it's also kinda fun. Don't ya think?"

Luke didn't know how the hell he was supposed to respond to that. Everything he thought he understood had just been flipped upside down, and now he was standing there with Sadie--Jack's not-so-girlfriend--who had just admitted she'd been flirting with him for days. Part of him wanted to kiss her again. The other part was screaming at him to stop because even if they weren't dating, it still felt like he was lying to his brother.

"I... I don't know what to do."

"Don't have to do anything. Just think about it, I guess. I'm not going anywhere. Jack's got me stuck here for a while."

She winked, turning toward the door, leaving Luke alone with his thoughts once again.

~~

Jack was up, chatting with his parents over breakfast, Sadie sat next to him looking as carefree as ever. Luke was watching her silently from across the room, his mug of coffee in his grip.

She glanced over at him and smiled like nothing had changed. But everything had changed. And Luke knew he needed to talk to her. He hated pretending things were normal when they weren't. His mind was playing the kiss on repeat and the way she'd admitted her relationship with Jack was just for show.

It all felt like a weird dream.

When Jack got up to grab some more cereal, Luke saw his chance.

"Sadie," he whispered, "can we talk? Alone?"

She raised an eyebrow, glancing at Jack who was now rummaging through the fridge for some milk. "Sure. Lead the way."

Once they were inside Luke's room, Sadie leaned against the wall, her arms crossed over her chest. "What's up? I see Mr. Serious is back."

"I just... I need to understand how this is supposed to work. The whole thing with Jack. You and me. All of it."

"What's there to understand? Jack's clueless. He doesn't know anything. Not that he'd care anyway."

"You make it sound so simple."

"Because it is," she shrugged. "You're overcomplicating it."

"I don't know if I can keep this up. It's driving me crazy."

"Is it? Because it didn't seem like you were too hard of a time last night on the porch."

"Fuck it," he muttered.

He grabbed Sadie by the waist, before he could second-guess himself, crashing his lips against hers in a kiss full of pent-up frustration and desire.

Sadie definitely didn't second-guess anything, kissing him back as her hands ran up to his hair. Any boundaries that Luke had tried to build had been torn down, but he didn't care. He couldn't stop.

They stumbled backward, his hands sliding down a bit to her hips. The kiss deepened, becoming more heated with every passing second. The rest of the world melted away, the only sound in the room their ragged breathing as they broke apart just to kiss again.

The bed hit the back of Luke's knees and they collapsed onto it, lips still locked. For one of the first times since Luke had met Sadie, he wasn't busy thinking about right or wrong. He wasn't thinking about Jack or the consequences of his actions. All that mattered was Sadie, the taste of her lips, and how tight her fingers were gripping his hair.

Just as things were about to heat up further, Jack's voice echoed from the bottom of the stairs.

"Sadie? You up there?"

She pulled back instantly, her lips swollen from the kiss. "Shit," she whispered. "I should... I should go."

Luke didn't say anything, his eyes half-lidded. Sadie stood up, adjusting her shirt and hair as she shot him a smile "Sorry, Luke. Duty calls."

She looked back at him one last time as she opened the door. "This isn't over."

What had he gotten himself into?

~~

It had been a couple days since Sadie and Luke had shared their first kiss, and they'd been sneaking around ever since. Little touches when no one was looking, stolen kisses behind closed doors. The more they got away with, the more daring they became.

That afternoon, Jack had been outside messing around with Quinn by the dock, while Sadie had slipped away, telling Jack she needed to grab something from inside. Luke had been alone in the house, trying to clear his head. But the second Sadie entered the living room, everything went out the window.

And suddenly, they were tangled together on the couch, lips locked. Sadie gripped the front of his t-shirt, tugging gently. It was just them in that moment, tension building higher and higher, and Luke couldn't stop himself from enjoying it.

Then the door slammed.

They pulled apart just in time to see Jack standing in the doorway, his eyes wide with shock. The expression on his face was confused, almost dazed as he stared at them.

"Uh... what the fuck?" His tone was sharp, but not angry--more like he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Luke's hands fell away from Sadie as he shot up from the couch, his face flushed. "Jack, I--"

Jack cut him off, pacing the room, his eyes shooting between them as he tried to piece everything together. "How long... how long has this been going on?"

Sadie just waited for Luke to speak.

"Luke, how long?" Jack repeated.

"A couple days. It just... happened."

"A couple days? And you just didn't think to say anything?"

Luke opened his mouth to respond, but Jack's attention shifted to Sadie. "Does he know? About us?"

"Yes, Jack. I told him. He knows it's all fake."

"So... you knew? You knew it was fake, so you decided..." Jack gestured wildly between them, pacing again, his hands tugging at his hair. "I don't get it. I don't fucking get it."

"Jack, I didn't mean for any of this to happen--"

"Didn't mean for what to happen? You didn't mean to start sneaking around with my fake girlfriend? Or you didn't mean to fall for her?"

Jack wasn't yelling. He wasn't angry. He just looked... confused. Hurt, maybe? And that just made it all so much worse.

"J, listen. This whole thing--it got out of hand. Luke and I... we didn't plan this. Just happened."

"But you two... were just... you were just making out on the couch! How does that 'just happen?'"

Sadie rolled her eyes, "Just does."

"Clearly! I mean, I thought everything was fine. I thought everyone was just hanging out, and meanwhile, you two are making out on the couch?"

"I'm sorry, Jack. I..."

"I'm not mad. Just... what the hell, guys? I don't understand."

"J, it's not like that. You and I--we're just friends. You know that. This shit with Luke... it's different."

"Different how?"

"Dunno. Just is."

Finally, Jack let out a long sigh, running a hand down his face. "Okay. Okay, fine. You two... you do whatever. I just... I need a minute to process all this."

Sadie opened her mouth to respond, but Jack held up a hand, stopping her. "Seriously, just... gimme a minute. I'll be outside if you need me."

Luke collapsed onto the couch, his head in his hands as Jack retreated outside. Could this get any worse?

~~

The rest of the day had been weird and silent. Sadie had spent it journaling and reading, giving both brothers the space that they needed. But as they got ready for bed, things were the most awkward they'd ever been between Jack and Sadie. Jack moved around the room, grabbing his phone charger and tossing it onto his nightstand, while Sadie stood by the dresser, pulling a t-shirt over her head. Neither of them spoke, both waiting for the other to break the silence.

"So... are we going to talk about this?" Sadie finally gave in.

"Talk about what?"

"You know what," she gave him a look. "About you walking in on me and Luke today."

"What's there to talk about? I mean... I get it. You guys--"

"Are you jealous?" she interrupted, her voice timid. "Like, even a little bit?"

Jack blinked, caught off guard by the question. "Jealous?" He furrowed his brow. "No. I don't think so."

"Not even like... deep down?"

"Honestly?"

She nodded, urging him to continue.

"No. I don't feel jealous. I mean, maybe if I did... I'd be way more upset about it all. But.. I dunno. I've only ever seen you as a friend. Same way you see me. A close one, sure, but still... just a friend. You know that."

"Yeah, I do. But you were really thrown off earlier, Jack. You seemed so... I dunno.... confused?"

"Yeah. I think it was more just the shock of it, ya know? Didn't expect to walk in and see my brother making out with my fake girlfriend."

She let out a small laugh. "So it's not weird for you? At all?"

"I guess it's weird in the sense that... I knew that you and Luke would get along. I just didn't think you'd get along this well."

"Yeah, I didn't exactly see it coming either."

"But no, I'm not mad or anything. Honestly, I think you and Luke fit each other way better than you and me ever could. I'm just surprised... I guess."

"Surprised how?"

Jack sighed, leaning back against the headboard. "I just never thought that... bringing you here would lead to you two... doing whatever this is."

"We haven't really figured it out," she rubbed at her arm.

Sadie climbed into bed first, pulling the covers over herself. Jack followed suit, but as they lay there side by side, for the first time since Sadie had arrived, he made no move to cuddle. No arm draped over her waist. He just laid there, staring at the ceiling.

"You don't want to cuddle tonight?"

Jack hesitated, then sighed for the millionth time that day. "It's just... it feels weird now, I guess. Knowing you've been doing... stuff with Luke. It's different."

Sadie bit her lip, and for the first time she felt that guilt that Luke had been feeling. "Jack... I'm sorry. I didn't mean for things to get so complicated."

"Nah, don't worry about it. It's not like you did anything wrong... really. Things are just different now... that's all."

Jack rolled over, facing the other side of the bed, leaving a noticeable gap between them. Sadie stared at the back of his head for a moment, feelings like she should reach out and say something. But it was too late, Jack was already asleep.

~~

Sadie and Luke sat at the end of the dock. The whole day had been awkward and Sadie felt even more out of place than she had when she first arrived.

"I don't want to make this weird," Sadie said, her voice soft, but her eyes locked with Luke's. "I really like you, but if it's gonna screw up my friendship with Jack... we should stop. We have to."

"I like you too. More than I thought I would. But yeah, this whole thing with Jack... it's too complicated. I don't wanna hurt my brother. I'd feel so guilty."

"We have to end things. It's not fair to him. Or us."

"I don't want to end things though," Luke admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "This... it's not just about the physical stuff to me. I feel something with you, Sadie. Something real."

"I feel it too. But I can't mess up things with Jack, so maybe it's better if we end things now before they get more complicated."

Jack, who had been on his way back inside, had walked past and heard his friend and brother talking. He leaned against a tree, piecing together everything they were saying. His stomach turned. But it wasn't anger. Or jealousy. He wasn't upset. It was relief. Luke and Sadie really liked each other. It wasn't just some sneaky hookup. It wasn't fair to make them feel guilty for something that wasn't even real to begin with.

"Hey."

Sadie and Luke both jumped, practically leaping out of their skin.

"Jack, I--"

"You don't have to explain anything. I heard what you guys were saying. And look, it's fine. You don't have to end whatever this is."

Sadie blinked in surprise. "You're not upset?"

Jack shook his head, a smile forming on his lips. "No. I'm not. I'm actually happy for you guys."

"Happy for who?" Ellen's voice joined the conversation.

"Jesus, is everyone listening to us?" Luke whispered to Sadie.

Jim and Quinn were close behind Ellen, also curious to what was happening on the dock.

"Luke and Sadie."

"Luke and Sadie?"

"Yeah, they're in love."

"We're not in--"

"Luke's in love with your girlfriend?" Quinn asked.

"About that..." Sadie rubbed her arm awkwardly.

"Sadie and I aren't really dating. We're friends. Close friends. She was just trying to help me get Natalie off my back. And I was helping her get her parents off her back," Jack admitted.

The family stared at him for a beat, then burst into laughter.

"Are you serious? All this was just to keep Natalie away?"

"Pretty much."

Ellen, still smiling, looked at Sadie and Luke, then back to Jack. "You know, Jack... I thought from the start that Sadie was a better fit for Luke anyway."

"Looks like you this turned out well for everyone," Quinn laughed.

Luke turned to Sadie, sliding his fingers between hers. "So... now that the truth's out... what do you think?"

"I think we've got time to figure it out," she giggled, leaning her head on his shoulder. And finally after weeks of being there, Sadie felt like she belonged.

[tangerinesgirl]

Hi! Can i request vampire Frank smut where he and the reader had been flirting the entire night, and at the end he is a vampire and has killed all the others(including lambert and abigail) and the reader is the only human left, hut since Frank took a liking to her ,he ends up asking him to stay with him and they end up fucking to "satisfy the flirting" plssssss (ur an awesome writer btwww)

Fuck Around, Find Out

**SPOILERS FOR ABIGAIL (2024)**

Reader x Frank (Abigail)

Word count: 1.3k

Rating: 18+, nsfw, explicit

Warnings: flirting, smut, choking, violence, language, technically p in v but no explicit reader body parts mentioned, Frank being feral, rough sex, some hints of enemies to lovers

Notes: tysm for the kind words! 💕 Sammy uses they/them pronouns for reader once, but otherwise reader has no specific gender, so everyone can enjoy this fic! Some use of Y/N.

🦇

You freak out. Everyone freaks out. You've all just put a death sentence on each others heads by kidnapping a freaking vampire. Did Lambert know? How could he do this to us? Lots of thought are going through your head. You snap out of it and see Frank choking and threatening Peter. The whole operation has gone to shit.

Frank drops Peter as he admits defeat. Frank has clearly lost the plot too, you decide you have to be the calm voice in the commotion and maintain composure.

"If you put your hand around my neck, you'll lose it", you snap at Frank, letting him know his actions were completely out of order.

"Oh yeah?", he swaggers over to you, putting the back of his palm on your cheek, stroking it. "And...what about putting my hand around a different body part?"

A click. Frank looks down, your gun pointing directly at his crotch. "I don't know. Try it. Fuck around. Find out."

Frank is clearly impressed, he tries to hide it but you can see the glint in his eyes. You squint as you smile at him sarcastically. He backs away, with his arms held up in surrender. You holster your gun in the dip at the back of your jeans. Frank swipes a hand through his hair, either in exasperation or to try and maintain a calm appearance somehow. As he does so he gives you a subtle wink, and gives each member of the crew a plan to take down the ballerina vampire.

*

Frank, Sammy and Peter essentially tumble down the stairs after their encounter with Abigail. You and Joey look at each other as if to say "we told them so", and start working on the casualties.

You walk over to Frank, "You know this is the second time I've saved your life tonight".

"I wouldn't count a pencil to the hand as a fucking life saving event."

"Hey lead poisoning can be very fatal."

"You know there's not actually any lead in-"

You pull the stake out of his leg in one swift motion, Frank cursing every deity under the sun. You quickly bandage his leg up to use as a tourniquet, it's not great but it'll do for now, at least it's stopped the bleeding. Frank looks at you with gratitude, but is too self-righteous to say anything. You look at him and can't help feeling more attracted to Frank seeing him disheveled like this. You quickly snap out of it and start tending to Peter's wounds.

As you're working, you can't help but see Frank in the reflection of a bookcase looking directly at your ass. You smile to yourself and turn around, "Hey we're supposed to keep grab ass to a minimum, remember?" Frank smiles and looks you up and down, clearly thinking unholy thoughts. Your body shivers as he does, goosebumps appearing on your skin.

Sammy chirps in, "Yeah, they're right. You were fully checking them out, you weren't even subtle dude."

Frank barks at Sammy, "I think the rules have gone out the fucking window now. And maybe you should mind your own fucking business and flirt with Peter some more."

"Sammy is flirting with me?" Peter is dumbfounded, but low-key delighted.

Frank rolls his eyes. You swear if he rolls them anymore tonight, they may as well turn into marbles.

*

You back away from Frank, slipping on Lambert and Abigail's blood, the warmth seeping through your jeans, you try to find purchase with your feet to try and stand up. Frank is clearly relishing in his new found life, this is what he's always wanted afterall. Pure unadulterated power. He feels his new fangs with his teeth, moaning, you feel awkward yet somehow aroused watching him, maybe you should leave and give him a moment. He snaps out of his daydream as you start to stand up. Frank tilts his head, curious, looking at you like a wild animal and smirks. "Like what you see?"

You don't say anything. "Come on Y/N, we had such a good thing going earlier. I can tell what an impression we made on each other...what I made on you."

He grabs your shirt and pulls you closer to him, he takes a deep sniff of you. "I can fucking smell it on you." You recoil as you can smell Frank's blood on his breath, but it's also somehow...hypnotising. Primal. "I mean you've clearly got me going, I've got you going, we have chemistry... We just need to get it out of our system. Don't you agree?"

You think over the events of the night, you can't help but feel somehow more attracted to him? Even if it is totally wrong, after seeing him stab a guy quite literally in the back. But seeing Frank just being given eternal life and the power he's always hungered for... and he's choosing you?

You nod slightly.

"I'm going to need you to use your words."

"Yes sir."

Frank wastes no more time and crashes his lips into you like a man starved. You try to grip on to his face or his hair, but you can't find purchase as the blood makes your hands slip. The metallic taste invades your taste buds as Frank kisses deeper, pushing you against the wall. Frank's hands roam your body, his hands slide down the back of your jeans, grabbing your ass as you grind into him.

You unbutton and remove your jeans and underwear and start to undo Frank's zipper and pull down his pants. You can't help but widen your eyes at the size of him, and he notices, this will only fuel his cockiness even more. His lips smash back into you, he can barely keep himself off you as he moans into the kiss. Frank briefly snaps out of it as he feels your hand on his member, positioning him at your entrance. Frank lifts up your legs to wrap around his waist, and pushes himself into you.

The air escapes your lungs as he thrusts inside you in one push, your back slamming against the wall. The size of him hurts at first, but he fills you up oh so good. Of course Frank is bigger than average, he clearly knows, it's all in his attitude. Frank thrusts into you, moaning every time he does. He puts his hand on the wall behind you to try and push into you deeper, but the wall swallows his hand up, leaving a huge hole in the brickwork. Frank still needs to know the limits of his new vampire strength.

Frank gets agitated and aggressively picks you up, him still inside you. He swipes his arm to remove all the items off a nearby desk and lays you on top of it. He grabs your legs to forcefully move you to the edge of the table as he continues to fuck into you. You can feel the table buckling underneath you. You try to tell Frank when-

The desk collapses on the floor, you still on top of it. Luckily Frank's hands were still underneath you, cushioning most of your fall. Frank doesn't care in the slightest, the only thing that matters in the world right now is fucking you. He continues to pound into you. You swear he growls in your ear at one point. You can feel yourself starting to clench around him as you reach your peak. Frank notices and puts a hand around your neck, squeezing slightly. This is exactly what you needed to send yourself over the edge, you cum around him, hard. Your legs wrapping around his waist, your walls squeezing him tight.

Frank lets out a gutteral moan as he arches his back as he cums inside you. The warm liquid starting to seep out of you. He feels amazing, all of his senses heightened. He comes down from his high and takes himself out of you. He dips two fingers into the pool forming underneath you. He runs his fingers along his fangs and licks them clean. He mumbles an "oh yeah" under his breath. Frank looks at you, spread out on the floor, the room a complete mess. It really is a sight to behold. He bites his lip, "I think I might just keep you".

[maximotts]

i feel like cowboy wanda would be so gentle the first few times she has sex with you bc she’s worried she’ll hurt you and scare you off but eventually she loses control a bit and manhandles you into position and when she pins you down, you moan and then the most DEVILISH smile spreads across her face

Ooo okay okay it's interesting you brought this up because I've been thinking about their first encounter a bit lately! We'll ignore that this turned into a whole fic, okay? I love them sm Also this isn't really edited because it was supposed to be a short answer and now it's uhm.. not short, so forgive any typos

18+ only please . wc: 2.7k . cw: first meeting hookup, drinking, dirty talk, oral, fingering, v light spanking, lap sits, possessiveness, Wanda being smitten, the pickup truck sex a lot of y'all have been asking me about that I said was coming, morning after with Wanda because she's as proper as she is filthy

Basically right now I have their first time more as a hookup where bunny is new to town and goes out to a bar one night to maybe make friends and see the environment, but then she meets Wanda and her group of friends who are all more than welcoming and you're having a great time hanging out with them.

But your eyes keep drifting to Wanda. Of course Wanda notices and, being the smooth talker she is, starts flirting with the new girl. She buys you as many drinks as you want which, end up being stronger than you're used to, but your nerves keep you ordering more. When she finally slips an arm around you, cornering you in the booth you'd only just plopped yourself into, you're more than ready for Wanda to kiss you— and kiss you she does.

You're shy by nature, never having made out with anyone in a bar, much less with a girl you'd only known for a few hours, but Wanda's thumb brushing over your cheek while she bites down on your bottom lip has you forgetting everything you're used to which admittedly, isn't much. Somehow she's pulled your thighs over her own, toying with the stretchy hem of the form-fitting skirt you'd decided to wear last minute. When she touches a particularly sensitive spot, you shiver and Wanda chuckles, "You cold, darlin'? Pretty as your arms are, I'll let you borrow my jacket if it'd help."

And so the night goes on with Wanda's thick denim jacket slung over your shoulders, her arm around your waist wherever the two of you walk. Normally you'd hate the presumptive way the cowgirl was handling you, as if she owned you already, but you'd be damned if you didn't admit you wanted her to stake her claim. So, in your slightly inebriated state, you took a leap, "Wands, I'm sleepy..."

Which catches her attention immediately. "Well now," Wanda pulls you close then, fingers carefully treading the line between caressing your hip and groping your ass; it would be the first time she whispers in your ear, but it'll never stop being insanely hot. "I hope you're telling me because you're going to let me take you home. I'd be real sad leaving tonight without you."

You wish your giggle of a reply didn't sound so girlish and naïve, but in hindsight, you had no idea the sheer intensity you were in for. "Only if you promise to behave yourself."

—

She's driven about halfway back to her house before she has to pull over; technically it was her land, pulled over to the side of the winding road and turning her truck engine off. "I know I promised to take you home, I still will, but I can't take another second not having my hands on you."

It takes you back a little; all you'd been doing was scratching over her jeans while you stared at the woman driving, but you weren't going to argue with her. "I don't really-"

"I've wanted you on my lap since I laid eyes on you. Get over here." Thankfully she doesn't have to convince you any farther, holding back a groan as you straddled her legs, skirt riding up inch by inch. It was a tight squeeze with you between her and the steering wheel, but Wanda hardly noticed once you started kissing her. This time was impossibly hotter, Wanda's tongue taking control of the kiss before moving on to shamelessly leave marks along your jaw and neck.

And Wanda is too good at getting your clothes out of the way, leaving you topless with record speed, squeezing at your breasts roughly while you struggled just to keep up with her mouth. "What if someone sees..."

The brunette only starts toying with your nipples, relishing in the way it got you rolling your hips. "It's pitch dark, silly girl. I can barely see you out here, don't worry your pretty little head."

You lost the last bit of your restraint the moment Wanda passed her fingertips over your underwear. They were thin lace, chosen by design so as not to show under your skirt, but they drove Wanda wild. She pushed them aside to slide her fingers along where you were already warm and sensitive, hips stuttering as she stroked over your clit. "O-Oh.."

"Look at you, already wet and needy. Were you like this all night? That why I caught you squeezing your thighs together so often?" You shook your head, trying to deny it, but you weren't even fooling yourself.

Wanda's had you rocking in place for hours by this point; you thought sure you'd been subtle and being called out for your behavior found your head ducking into the crook of Wanda's shoulder to avoid her knowing gaze. "Aww, it's okay! It'll be our little secret, promise..."

Wanda discovered night one what a responsive person you were, delighting in the vice grip you held on the back of her seat while she rolled your nipple in time with her other hand on your sensitive bud. You rocked against her hands as best you could, fighting to keep pace, but hopefully not finish so easily— it'd just been so long and you needed this much more than expected.

The next morning, you'd blame the alcohol. "Wanda please, I- I need.."

"What do you need, sweetheart, wanna cum? Make a mess in my truck after I barely got started with you?" You were nodding so hard your neck hurt, moaning quietly as you felt your body reach its peak; the first of many that night. Ears ringing and thoughts so pleasantly fuzzy, you couldn't recall a time you'd felt more free, in an old pickup truck or otherwise.

"Ooh, aren't you just a masterpiece..." The brunette took her time letting you down, pointer and middle fingers wandering until they just barely pushed into you: less than an inch, but unendingly torturous. "Sounds like I was able to make you feel better, least a little bit."

Tired hips tried every which way to sink onto Wanda's long fingers, the same ones you'd felt on you over your clothes back in the bar and had lists of naughty places you wanted her to put them. But each time, your lover avoids delving anywhere past shallow. "You're being mean, just fuck me."

"Mean? After I let you cum as early as you wanted? You don't know what mean looks like on me. Don't think you want to," A succession of wet slaps echoed in the truck's cabin, the silence of everything around you both amplifying the sound of Wanda lightly hitting your sensitive cunt and your resulting whimpers.

"Told you so. Now, bend over and stay still while I get a proper look like the obedient girl I know you are," Manhandling you over the length of her seats shouldn't have been as easy as it was after the long night out, but Wanda was strong and you never fought her while she pushed your arms to the passenger car door and spread your bent knees apart.

If you were begging her to fuck you out loud, you wouldn't be surprised, wishing so hard that if Wanda still refused to give you exactly what you wanted, she'd at least use her fingers, tongue, anything to fill where you currently felt so empty. "Please- I need more-"

Your thighs shake as she licks over your puffy folds, mumbling the most depraved things about you, your taste, your warmth, leaving you with the most intoxicating combination of feeling both used and adored. "You just keep dripping into my mouth, baby, it's impossible to keep you clean..."

"Can't help it, sorry," But your words aren't matching your actions, not when you kept searching out Wanda's tongue each time she flicked at your clit, pitifully rolling over the rough surface whenever she flattened it out.

You'd long since fogged up the windows, smudging the fog as your overheated cheek met the cold glass; each time you managed to open your eyes you remember exactly where you are, woods rustling in the middle of the night. "W-Wanda! 'm close again, please please...!"

"Mean girls wouldn't let you have two orgasms back to back, no matter how pretty." Wanda likes to believe she actually thought about whether or not to give you what you wanted, but in reality she knew she would leave you wanting the second you turned bratty. Sure it was a risk, not knowing how you'd react, but it was well worth the test to see if you had a chance of handling her past a quick night's distraction. "Straighten up, we're only a few minutes from home."

"That's not fair—"

But Wanda was already pushing you upright again, haphazardly fixing your dress, going so far as to buckle your seatbelt as if it'd keep you from your uncomfortable wiggling. "My car my rules! Like I said, we're not far."

Wanda expected you to pout and huff the whole way, worried in the back of her mind you wouldn't let her lay another hand on you after her denial, but she was pleasantly surprised. Somewhere shortly after she pulled back onto the road, you'd taken her hand; first just to play with her fingers, innocent fidgeting at best, but before she knew it, her digits were engulfed in sinfully wet warmth.

Her fingers in your mouth made the pair of you dizzy, hands holding her wrist as you pumped her digits in and out, tongue swirling over the tips and grinning once Wanda's neutral expression cracked, lips parting in a low groan. "Do mean girls let the good ones suck the strap they've been feeling near them all night or do they only get to play with their hands?"

"Depends on if they show them how bad they want it." Wanda could only look your way for seconds at a time, the visual of your half-lidded gaze trained on her jeans while you so obviously used your imagination to envision some other scenario, muffling your own needy sounds as you forced her fingers to the back of your throat... she'd underestimated the new girl.

Whether it was any lingering alcohol talking or whatever boldness Wanda unlocked that night, something urged you to continue goading her, making a show of spreading your legs and slipping her wet fingers to your sex before closing them once more, slowly grinding her shaking digits to sate yourself for that last tiny stretch of road to the farmhouse. "Bad enough to turn your hand into a toy for as long as you let me."

Wanda made that final turn up her driveway, parking her truck fast as she could with only one hand, "You're lucky I didn't crash just now, you little devil, can't wait to get you inside."

"Lead the way, since we're playing by your rules and all." As soon as she got her hand back, Wanda practically dragged you from her vehicle and for as many hours as you spent awake in her home, you couldn't remember a single detail of any room she brought you through that night.

—

When you wake up, it's to a dimly lit bedroom, curtains drawn so only a sliver of late morning sun peeked through. Your body ached, but it wasn't from the drinking, taut muscles and lethargic thoughts bringing back bits and pieces of everything you got up to the second Wanda got you past the front door.

The same Wanda whose bed you assumed you were currently sprawled out in. Doubt crept in as you realized you're alone, fretting over if you should've fallen asleep there or not. You were deciding whether it'd be more awkward to sneak out and go back to town on foot or to search out Wanda and ask if she'd mind driving you back to your place when you heard a single knock on the door. "Can I come in?"

Your brow furrowed, "It's your room, of course you can come in." Wanda cracked the door slowly, the back of her loose flannel shirt greeting you first before she turned around, a small tray in her hands. "Sorry for crashing."

"Never said you were unwelcome, I'm sorry for letting you wake up in a strange place by yourself... and for not leaving you at least a shirt, my bad." Your arms hastily bundled the blankets to cover your chest, your nakedness pointed out to you, but Wanda laughed, setting the tray down before heading for her dresser. "Don't worry, darlin, I love the view just as much in the daylight."

"What a reassuring hostess I have," Pulling the t-shirt she tossed you over your head, the delightful scents coming from the tray down the bed now catching your attention. On it was a short stack of pancakes, bacon, orange juice, strawberries... the biggest breakfast you'd seen since you'd come to town. "Did you make that?"

Wanda nodded and slid the food closer to you before sitting on the edge of her mattress, "I don't typically make this much food, but I had to get up early to make some rounds in the barn and I figured I owed you a hearty breakfast after such a nice night."

There was something so endearing to how she explained her actions, rambling on to offset her nerves, No one had even gone to such lengths to make your morning so comfortable after a single hookup, but this set the bar high for anyone else who tried. Not that you'd ever have to worry about another first night, but neither of you knew that yet.

For now Wanda scrambled to find the right way to show genuine interest in the girl she'd brought home and fucked every which way until they passed out and you amusedly ate your special pancakes while watching Wanda try, her fumbling charming you more than she'd ever imagine.

Eventually you put her out of her misery, putting down your utensils to sit up on your knees and stretch over to plant a quick kiss on her soft lips. "I really appreciate it and I'm not even a bit mad with how I woke up, but it's very sweet of you to care, Wands."

"Oh good because I'd really like to see you again sometime, if you're up for it." It would be a rare thing to see Wanda so continuously shy, but she was uncharacteristically smitten and she wanted to get to know you before the rest of the small town came for their changes too.

You hummed as you popped a strawberry into your mouth, licking your fingers in a way that painfully reminded Wanda of the previous night, "How's today?"

"Today?" The farmgirl ran a hand through her long hair, cocking her head to the side much like a lost puppy.

"Yeah, today. If you wouldn't mind me following along." With each minute that ticked past, the less you wanted to leave, much preferring a Sunday spent with Wanda than in your flat full of moving boxes.

Her eyes lit up, smile brighter than the sun, “Can’t complain about a beautiful girl all to myself all day!" Wanda was practically buzzing with everything she wanted to show you, from the chicken coops to the haylofts, but she forced herself to keep her cool.. on the surface at least. "Finish up breakfast and I'll find you some kind of pants."

"But I'm so cozy right here without them." Maneuvering over the last bits of food on your plate meant you more fell into Wanda's lap than sat on it, but she caught you nonetheless, tugging you down for the proper kiss she'd been waiting to share with you since early morning light. "Come back to bed with me?"

After the long sleep your energy was renewed, finally able to take Wanda into all your senses again, the taste of her lips, the subtle earthy smell from the work she'd already done that day, her strong hands settling confidently on your upper thighs... getting dressed was the last thing on either of your minds. "Wouldn't be much of a hostess if I didn't let my guest do as she pleased."

In the end, the pair of you might've set the world record for longest date from Sunday morning to when Wanda finally dropped a reluctant you back into town Wednesday afternoon.

[allwaswell16]

A fic rec of my favorite One Direction alpha Louis omegaverse fics as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, let the writer know by leaving kudos and comments! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

- Louis/Harry -

🌰 Light, Spark and Fire (series) by green_feelings / @greenfeelings

(E, 239k, CEO Louis) Life’s pretty ordinary for Harry. He lives with his best friend, got into university just like he’s planned, and manages to support himself just fine for an unbonded omega. If he sustains that lifestyle by getting paid to help alphas through their rut every now and then, that’s nothing to be hung up on. Until he’s hired by an alpha that turns everything upside down.

🌰 Say Something by @kingsofeverything

(E, 105k, age difference) At fifty years old and recently divorced, Omega Harry Styles isn't interested in dating. When his doctor suggests a heat and rut matching service, he signs up out of necessity. It’s the only use he has for an Alpha in his life. Twenty-eight-year-old Alpha Louis Tomlinson aims to change that.

🌰 Ace of Spades by @allwaswell16

(E, 78k, pirate au) Louis is a pirate, Harry is his captive, and no one is who they say they are.

🌰 These High Walls by LarryAlways28

(E, 68k, CEO Harry)  when the older, and wildly attractive Harry Styles offers him a deal in exchange for saving his family's legacy- how could Louis ever refuse that?

🌰 Unveiled by @phdmama

(M, 65k, royal au) There are no robes. And not a single one of them is veiled.

🌰 and i would search the night sky to find you by devilinmybrain / @thedevilinmybrain

(E, 56k, boarding school) Harry Styles is a high class, well-bred Omega attending Bosworth Academy - a prestigious boarding school looking over the small town on Kinsey. He has his whole life already planned for him, learning his place as the potential mate for an important Alpha, practicing his home making skills, and be obedient above all else.

🌰 Just for Tonight (I can be yours) by @sadaveniren

(E, 42k, royal) Harry, prince of Cestrescir, has been betrothed to Ludvic, prince of Yorvik, since birth. He'd accepted a loveless marriage as his duty to his country, until an accident threw him in the path of a gentle alpha

🌰 You're Not My Type (still I fall) by Imogenlee / @imogenleewriter

(M, 38k, farm) He's been in stickier spots; he reminds himself. Way stickier. This is just a bit of rain; it'll blow over. Then Harry will just... well, alright, he isn't entirely sure what to do when the rain stops because he'll still be stuck and lost.

🌰 Endgame by @brightgolden

(E, 38k, royal) Where omega Crown Prince Harry Styles is trying and failing to get pregnant for four years, but all that is about to change when courtesan alpha Louis Tomlinson comes into the equation.

🌰 The Risen (series) by @creamcoffeelou

(E, 28k, cult au) In search of the next breaking story, Harry goes off to do something no one else has been able to do: get the scoop on Louis Tomlinson and his devoted group of followers.

🌰 Keep Me Closer by zanni_scaramouche / @zanniscaramouche

(T, 18k, uni au) Louis expects Harry to react poorly, maybe even file a formal complaint and that’s gonna suck ass but Louis won’t say shit cause he knows he deserves it, so he prepares an apology before Harry’s even turned around.

🌰 Single Bells Ring by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense

(M, 16k, alpha/alpha) A holiday singles event is not where Louis wants to be tonight, but there he is, helping his best friend find love.

🌰 Prince Harry and the Expert in Motorcycle Maintenance by @juliusschmidt

(E, 15k, fairy tale) a cinderella au in which prince harry rides a motorcycle and louis, a simple mechanic, fixes it.

🌰 Bentley Station, Now Arriving by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(T, 13k, space) There's a ball coming up, and Harry is going to attend. Niall will make certain of that.

🌰 It's Been Ages by @2tiedships2

(NR, 13k, friends to lovers) Louis shook his head in exasperation. “If you’ve been watching, you would see that Harry is interested in, like, alpha alphas. Not me.”

🌰 I’ve Always Liked the Fireworks by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird

(T, 12k, football) When alphas and omegas reach the age of twenty-one they are required to attend a Proving Day ceremony. Omegas watch as alphas do their best to compete in events, show off their skills, and prove how good a mate they can really be.

🌰 Come In and Change My Life by lightswoodmagic / @lightwoodsmagic

(E, 12k, neighbors) Harry and Louis become friends when Harry looks after Louis' cat during away games, until one night at a party changes everything between them. It's just a shame Louis' going to be away for the FIFA World Cup for three months.

🌰 Just Jump by @jaerie

(E, 9k, heat) “Hi!” The alpha said again and Harry took the hand he offered and shook it firmly. “I’m Louis from Omega Services. It’s nice to meet you.”

🌰 a body wishes to be held & held by @turnyourankle

(E, 9k, heat/rut) Harry wants to return the favour after Louis helps him out with his heat.

🌰 A Silver Lining In A Storm (You Were Lightning, I Was Born) by @fallinglikethis

(E, 6k, arranged marriage) after the death of his first fiancé, a man who turned out far worse than Harry thought possible, his subsequent marriage to the man's brother leaves Harry finding it difficult to trust that everything will work out

🌰  a rose by any other name by delsicle / @eeveedel

(G, 3k, Victorian) Harry is a sheltered omega who is the pinnacle of good breeding, but the flowers in his family’s garden – and the alpha gardener who keeps them – prove to be his greatest weakness.

- Rare Pairs -

🌰  That Don’t Define Who You Are by @lululawrence

(NR, 7k, Louis/Harry/Nick Grimshaw) the one where Harry is a licking omega with a broken bond who helps heal a fairly hapless beta with a folding bicycle. When Harry also meets the beta's alpha, things start to get... interesting.

[cringefailvox]

Yooo you have an Alastor + Vaggie-centric AU 👀👀👀 what are some of the details if you don’t mind me asking jagsjajhsjsk

OKAY SO. back in april, birdsaretoddlers and i were talking about the potential hilarity of a vaggie/charlie/alastor poly dynamic and then we accidentally got way too into vaggie/alastor as a concept, which spiraled into a whole au that has unfortunately not left the discord server but MAYBE. SOMEDAY......

the barest bones of it are essentially that vaggie represents everything that alastor finds most pathetic & baffling in other people: dogged, singular loyalty to a cause & a person based on sheer loving devotion, with no ulterior motives or plans beyond protecting and supporting that person. and of course she rubs him the wrong way extremely frequently, just as much as he gets on her nerves. she's nearly codependent with charlie while alastor would rather chew off his own foot than be tethered to someone in that way. he's the type of sinner who exemplified vaggie's mission as an exorcist, the kind of demon she wouldn't have thought twice about cutting down because he clearly deserves it. he's never felt remorse in his life and vaggie has been walking on her knees for a thousand miles in the desert repenting since the day she fell. they are diametrically opposed.

AND YET. alastor recognizes a lot of his own traits in her as well! she's guarded, secretive, violent, has a lot of trust issues, and possessive of what she considers hers. alastor knows exactly what that's like. but vaggie is mystifying to him, because he cannot for the love of g-d understand what kind of sentimental nonsense could drive her to recklessly put her life on the line for charlie over and over and over again, with no regard for her own safety and NO other motivations besides?? LOVE??? sounds fake but ok.

vaggie also sees some of herself in alastor too, as much as it rankles—she's reminded viscerally of herself in the early days after losing her wings and her eye, suspicious and traumatized and deeply mistrustful of charlie's good intentions. couldn't even fathom that kindness could be genuine in hell. she looks at alastor and all of his trust issues and decides "redeeming this guy is impossible, but i really think i could at least get him to stop biting," you know, like you'd think about a reactive shelter dog who keeps growling at your handful of treats. you'll never be able to take that dog out in public without a lot of precautions and low expectations, but at least at home, it'll trust you not to hurt it if it lays its head in your lap.

for alastor's part, his whole interest in vaggie starts off as a way to cuddle up to charlie (and piss off lucifer), but he rapidly gets way too invested because there's no such thing as doing anything ironically for long, and it's kind of his Move, yk? he worms relentlessly into someone's life until he firmly has their attention, and then when he realizes he's in too deep and tries to withdraw and they cling, he's like "?? leave me alone??" (bird: "the ol vox special gets him literally nowhere") but now VAGGIE is invested too bc she's reluctantly fond of this creepy weirdo who eats deer carcasses in his room and for some reason let adam almost kill him defending the hotel, he doesn't get to just crawl away and die from his injury now that she's finally starting to like his freak ass. of course alastor is a nightmare patient and vaggie's bedside manner is atrocious so they're really bad at it. but they're trying and that's what matters!!

(also, charlie is weeping with joy in the background of all of this—her two biggest supporters, getting along!! kind of!! she's so proud of them both!!!! [alastor has completely forgotten that this venture started off as a way to manipulate charlie. get polycule'd, idiot]).

hopefully one day we'll manage to turn this into an actual fic, but for now enjoy these highlights :]

[amberjazmyn]

"whenever you're ready bug"💔

pairing : max verstappen x fem!younger sister verstappen reader & f1 grid x platonic!fem younger sister verstappen reader

summary : max's younger sister always seemed to draw the short straw in her short life. first, she was born way earlier than she was meant to be, had what seemed like hundreds of surgeries and hospital stays and was then diagnosed with terminal cancer that shortened her life which was always uncertain from the beginning.

warnings :  sadness, older brother x max, sibling loss, terminal illness, crying, just genuinely upsetting, surrender by natalie taylor if that even counts as a warning and dodgy dutch google translations + maybe a couple mentions of j*s verstappen but no more!

a/n :  i know, i'm such an ass for giving all the depressing one-shots to max but, i can't help it! this is what happens when i love a particular person so much, i write depressing fics about them. i've gone back at forth a different few times with whether or not i should have this as child loss or sibling loss or child loss but i'm back at sibling loss. lyrics in bold italics, flashbacks in italics, present in normal font and it'll be written in lowercase like always . 

being diagnosed with cancer or really any illness at any age was a nightmare and indeed the worst thing that could happen to a family. however, for nine-year-old willow verstappen, younger sister of max and victoria verstappen, it was even more nightmarish. especially since everything about her illness and cancer diagnosis was posted on nearly every single social media site and magazine because of how high profile her older brother max was due to him being a formula one driver and how famous that then made her and her sister victoria by proxy. in saying that though, it didn't really bother the young nine-year-old too much because at the end of the day, she was able to share her experiences with her specific cancer and give those young people who were also dealing with the same thing that they had someone else their age who understood what they were going through and that ultimately, they weren't alone in their fight with cancer.

however, there did come a stage where willow could feel herself start to give up and, it seemed as though everyone in her family and extended f1 grid family could also see it happening, which terrified them.

we let the waters rise, we drifted to survive.

by the minute, willow was getting weaker and the cancer was getting so much stronger to the point where she felt like she was merely drifting, treading through the water to survive the day let alone the next one. not only was this having a weighing effect on willow, but it was also having the same effect on her parents, jos and sophie, her older brother max and older sister victoria as well as the extended formula 1 grid family who she called her "bonus family". going through this with willow was starting to weigh everyone down. not because the girl was a burden, but because they knew she was getting weaker as the days went by and were getting ready to let go.

one year ago

it felt like all the walls in the doctor's office were closing in on sophie and her eldest child, max. they never imagined they'd be getting this news after another regular hospital trip for their youngest daughter and sister, eight-year-old willow verstappen. jos not at the hospital for his daughter because he now had a whole different family to take care of. 

"...meneer verstappen? max, heb je gehoord wat ik je net vertelde?" willow's doctor, dr phelps questioned, max blinked a couple of times before responding mr verstappen? max, did you hear what i just told you?

"nee, sorry, wat zei je? kunt u dat alstublieft herhalen?" max still sounded like he was so far away from dr phelps' office but did his best to not tune out this time since it seemed as though it was quite important what he was telling him and his mum no, sorry, what did you say? could you please repeat that?

"ik zei dat willow, met de recente diagnose van terminale kanker, nog steeds chemotherapie kan proberen en misschien een beetje radiotherapie, maar we zijn er niet zeker van dat het zal werken op de manier waarop het gewoonlijk zou werken als we het eerder hadden gezien..." i was saying that, with willow's recent diagnosis of terminal cancer, she can still try chemotherapy and maybe a little bit of radiotherapy but we are not certain that it'll work in the way it usually would if we had seen it earlier

ahh, yes, that's what the conversation was about, his baby sister had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. and they were talking about roads of treatment and how successful they could potentially be for a tiny little eight-year-old. max could feel a sob building in his throat and it seemed like his mum, sophie, could feel it too, holding her son's hand tightly, she just wished they were anywhere but in dr phelps' office right now.

"...ah, uhm, dus theoretisch gesproken, als mijn zus...willow een of meerdere chemotherapieën en misschien radiotherapie zou ondergaan, hoe lang zou je dan realistisch gezien zeggen dat we haar bij ons zouden hebben?" max gulped as he fiddled with the scrunched up tissue in his palm given to him by his mum as he squeezed sophie's hand with the other one ah, umm, so, theoretically speaking, if my sister...willow, was to undergo a round or couple of chemotherapy and maybe radiotherapy, how long would you say we'd have her with us, realistically?

"nu, max, ik zou het je echt niet kunnen vertellen, omdat dit zo nieuw is en zo laat in het ontdekken van de kanker, dat we echt geen idee hebben hoe lang het haar leven mogelijk zou kunnen verlengen. maar zodra de chemo- en radiotherapie beginnen, kunnen we dat soort dingen gaan inschatten..." dr phelps responded as max felt his heart shatter now, max, i really couldn't tell you because this is so new and so late in finding the cancer, we truly have no idea how long it could potentially prolong her life. but, once the chemo and radiotherapy do start, then we can start estimating things like that

sophie feeling like she was holding it all together, his face almost crumbling as he then turned away from the doctor. then he caught a glimpse of his precious baby sister sitting ever so peacefully in the waiting room with her brother's teammates, daniel and charles. the both of them lovingly putting their hands up to take care of her whilst the other drivers were keeping kelly and penelope occupied, once again, jos and the step-siblings nowhere to be found. 

"...ze verdient dit niet..." max croaked out, bringing his tissue up to cover his face as sophie comforted her son whilst dr phelps sighed solemnly she doesn't deserve this

"...nee, dat doet ze niet maximaal, niemand van haar leeftijd doet dat. ze is zo jong, maar helaas gebeuren deze dingen en het is absoluut wreed. maar ik beloof dat we er alles aan zullen doen om ervoor te zorgen dat je kleine zusje en dochter de beste kans krijgen om te overleven en haar kanker te verslaan, aangezien ze zo sterk was tijdens al haar andere operaties en kwalen," dr phelps was confident in the idea that once again, little willow was going to survive another diagnosis no, she doesn't max, no one her ages does. she's so young but, unfortunately, these things happen and it's absolutely cruel. but i promise, we'll do everything we can to make sure your little sister and daughter gets the best chance of surviving and beating her cancer since she was so strong during all of her other surgeries and ailments

but, heartbreakingly, max and sophie thought otherwise and it seemed as though, in willow's eyes, she too thought the same thing as her mum and older brother. 

willow's pov

i lay in my hospital bed, a smile on my face as i saw my mum, max and victoria open the door and let in my three of my bonus siblings from max's f1 grid. leaving me alone to spend time with them whilst they went to get lunch. usually, it would only be two, maybe one, allowed in my room. but, by an exception rule, i was allowed to have more than just one or two in my room at once.

"hey will," daniel smiled, closing the door behind him since he was the last one to file into the room

"hey, danny!" i smiled as i then gave him a hug since i had already given charles and carlos a hug beforehand

my smile then quickly disappeared as i caught a glimpse of max looking like he was crying. but, he was trying to be discrete about it as i looked out of the window behind daniel's shoulder. even though he was supposed to be getting lunch with mum, victoria, kelly and penelope. it seemed like daniel, charles and carlos all noticed it even though i also tried to be discrete about it.

"why are you suddenly so upset, will? you were just smiling a second ago, what's up chickadee?" charles spoke up as he got himself comfortable on my bed, immediately grabbing my hand to hold - not for my comfort but for his even though it did make me feel ten times better

"maxie's crying, char but he's trying to hide it even though he's supposed to be getting lunch with mum, kelly and penelope. why won't he cry in front of me or when he thinks i can't see it? i just wish he'd be more vulnerable with me because i always tell him when i'm sad or when i'm scared... so why can't he?" i sighed as all three, daniel, charles and carlos gave me empathetic smiles as daniel takes a big breath in, charles and carlos letting daniel explain

"well, mon chéri, it's slightly complicated because, whilst your big brother hasn't always been the most showing of his emotions, it's different when it comes to you and penelope. he doesn't tend to cry in front of you two because he knows that, one, penelope won't completely understand why mummy's boyfriend is upset but knows something is wrong and two, he knows that if you see him cry that it'll either worry you or question him on why he's crying. he just doesn't want you to worry about why he's crying because sometimes, he's just emotional because of how much he really loves you, penelope and kelly..." daniel trailed off as he caressed my hand comfortingly as i nodded my head, feeling somewhat better 

"...he also wishes that if he could, he would switch places with you. have him be in this bed and sick but, all of us in f1 always tell him that that would have been even worse. we all wish that you didn't have to deal with this. because you always seemed to be given the short straws in life. but, we are all so glad that we still get to have you with us at this very moment, right now. because right now is what's important, okay? not tomorrow, not yesterday, not next week or the next week. today, right now, okay, you understand?" daniel explained as i smiled softly and nodded my head as i then smiled at charles and carlos to reassure them 

a knock at my door then got everyone's attention. my day nurse walked into my room, letting me know that i was being given another dose of treatment. even though i knew it wasn't really doing anything to help me as it used to when i first started it a year ago.

i needed you to stay, but i let you drift away

when eight-year-old willow was first diagnosed, although she needed everyone to stay, she began to drift away. away from her mum, her brother and sister, her niece and nephews and even her bonus siblings. although she didn't want to, she was doing it because she didn't want her family to see her like they were going to. so, before it was to start happening, she made sure to have everyone stay away from her. except, even though she thought it worked, it really didn't work, even though willow resisted at times.

willow's pov

having to hide my treatment from my family, specifically my older sister victoria's kids and penelope for the first couple of months was probably the hardest thing ever. anytime they tried to come into my room to spend time with me, i'd push then away and tell them that i was tired or that i was feeling sick and couldn't spend time with them. which, in all fairness to me, wasn't always a lie since i do have cancer and that makes you feel ill. but, when i did start my chemo treatments, i was beginning to feel a lot better that i could realistically deal with hanging out and chatting with penelope and my niece and nephews rather than entirely and selfishly shutting them out. however, there just came to a point where i couldn't hide the treatments any longer and, one day when it was me giving myself does of chemo, penelope and my sister blue jaye had run into my room. thankfully without my niece and nephews but i digress. before penelope screamed, causing a whole frenzy and literal cavalier of max and kelly, mum and nurses to rush into my room as though something was wrong with me. but, to be fair, i couldn't blame nor be mad at penelope since i don't think any of the kids or my siblings were told that some days, i would be giving myself solo dosages if my regular day nurses weren't available to do it for me. and since it was the first time they had seen me do it, let alone at all and had no idea i was even getting treatment, i understood penelope and blue's fear because i myself wanted to scream when i was told that i'd have to learn to do my own dosages as well.

"...p! willow! is everything okay? why did you scream, penelope?!" kelly suddenly barges in, the rest of the cavalier behind her

only to see that i was calmly doing my chemo dosages calming her down. only for her to turn around and see penelope, holding blue jaye to her chest, hugging each other. the both of them cramped near one of my chest of drawers in the far corner of my hospital room in distress

the moment kelly, max, daniel, carlos and mum saw that, it seemed like their hearts all individually broke. then, immediately, penelope saw max and bolted over to him after giving blue a sweet kiss on her head of hair and handing her over. before she then ran over to her kelly as well. watching it all go down made me feel like i was in trouble since i should have realised that penelope and blue jaye were going to come in and that i should have waited until after they had left to do my chemo doses, not whilst they were walking in.

carlos seemed to notice this and immediately took action whilst mum and max calmed down a sobbing blue jay and whilst kelly and daniel calmed down a sobbing penelope, "oh bebe. willow, ven aquí cariño!" carlos whispered in spanish as he held me as tightly as he could whilst not messing up my ivs and drips that i had attached to me whilst receiving chemo oh, baby. willow, come here sweetheart!

"is...is this all my fault carlos? why p and blue jaye are crying?" i whispered, too scared to speak any louder just in case i would get in trouble as carlos' face nearly collapsed as he shook his head, his eyes sincere

"absolutely not querida darling! it is not your fault at all! whilst you knew that your sister and penelope were coming in to visit you, you didn't know when which was for sure not your fault at all! and it wasn't their fault either. not like blue would understand but they weren't even told that you were taking treatments or that some days you'd be doing it yourself. so don't put that blame on yourself, you don't need that extra baggage, querida. you are not in trouble at all," carlos insisted as i nodded my head, wholeheartedly believing him as he hugged me again as i smiled softly

however, penelope and blue jaye had been comforted enough to where they were able to hang out with me and talk, well, me and penelope did. blue jay just sat in my lap and was being cute. that was until they were quickly ushered out, along with carlos, daniel and kelly when my nurses, mum and max looked devastated. as if they had some sad news they needed to tell me that was going to most definitely be sad. but, to me, the news seemed obvious so it confused me why mum and max looked so upset.

my nurse then started to explain the news in more detail to mum and max. but, because i had already overheard this news and already kind of seen it coming, i tuned out. only tuning back in when max broke down in tears abruptly, apologising to the nurse, mum and me before walking out of the hospital room.

"...i...i am so sorry..." max sobbed out as he then abruptly left, running down the hallway of the hospital floor as i tuned back in

and i was confused as i saw the way the family outside reacted. daniel giving penelope to kelly as he started to run after max.

"...willow, lieverd, heb je iets gehoord wat de verpleegster net zei?" mum then spoke up in dutch as i slowly shook my head no as she took a breath in before smiling, slightly brushing my hair willow, sweetpea, did you hear anything that the nurse just said?

"n...nee, waarom? heb ik iets verkeerd gedaan, mama? waar...waar gaat maxie heen? ik...ik heb hem nodig, mama..." i trailed off as fear engulfed me as mum hugged me before letting go and explaining to me what my nurse had said before max ran off n...no, why? did i do something wrong, mum? where...where's maxie going? i...i need him, mummy

"...oh, engel, nee, je hebt niets verkeerd gedaan...je verpleegster legde ons alleen uit dat de chemo niet meer werkt, dat weet je toch?" mum trembled, her hands resting on my shoulders oh, angel, no, you haven't done anything wrong...it's just, your nurse was explaining to us that the chemo isn't working anymore, you know that right?

i was worried for less than a second before realising that it had been mentioned to me before. even though i did have a sense it stopped working properly as i nodded my head.

"ja... ja, natuurlijk, dat weet ik, het werd mij al eerder verteld," i smiled, obviously not understanding properly as mum gasped out a small cry, stopping herself from fully crying as i looked at her in confusion yeah...yeah, of course, i know that, it was mentioned to me before

"do you understand what that means, willow?" mum looked at me with a sad questioning look, no longer bothered to speak dutch, it took me some time to process it but i slowly nodded my head

"yeah...yeah, it means that it's no longer effectively treating my cancer..." wait, the chemo is no longer effectively treating my cancer... does that mean i'm going to die before i turn ten?

"...wait, umm, nurse, could you...could you please go and find my brother? don't worry about me, i have mum with me, she knows what to do, thanks..." i was trying to comprehend all of this news and it was difficult

yet this hospital and these four walls have been basically my whole life. and especially considering this chemo hasn't been effectively working for ages and only now i've fully realised it?

"...of course willow. as soon as i find your brother, i'll invite him in," the nurse smiled and left with nothing more as i smiled back at her as i watched her leave

"thanks..." i breathed out as she left to find max as it was now just mum and me as she then spoke up

"babe, why'd you send the nurse out to find max?" that was all it took for me to collapse in her arms as i started to panic

"oh, babe, what's wrong?" she reacted, rubbing my back as she hugged me as tightly as she physically could as i slowly started to feel better

"i...i'm scared mummy, i...i don't want to die," i panicked as mum hugged me again and rubbed my back before pulling away, her hands on my shoulders

"darling, you are not going to die. you are going to be absolutely fine. we've only been told the results of the chemo treatments, we also have you in radiotherapy and still haven't been given the results about how that's going. so, who knows, maybe whilst the chemo isn't working, the radiotherapy might be and that's why it could be affecting the chemo results? don't always look on the negative side sweetheart," mum smiled softly, rubbing my shoulders as i nodded my head because she did have a point - we still hadn't been given my radiotherapy results yet

however, in the split second of being comforted by my mum and feeling wide awake, i suddenly felt limp and grew tired. falling forwards into mum's grip, and in a state of pure quick thinking and keeping calm and collected, she hit the emergency button. this then immediately paged one of my nurses to my room.

"mummy...i...i'm tired...i'm...i'm so tired..." i mumbled out sleepily as i felt mum's breathing quicken as she held me after her hand released the emergency button as i weakly smiled

"--nurses to room 452, cancer patient, nurses to room 452, cancer patient..." was heard over the loudspeakers through the hospital floor which i could tell would freak out the rest of my family since they all were aware of my room number

suddenly, doctors and nurses swarmed my room, immediately removing my mum's grip from me as they laid me back down properly on my bed. the last thing i remembered hearing was the nurse screaming, "everyone get out now!"

my love, where are you? my love, where are you?

thankfully, the real reason why willow was tired wasn't that she was about to die. it was just simply because of the chemo dosage. she had accidentally given herself a little too much than she was supposed to. and it was suspected that it happened when the penelope and blue jaye panic situation happened. which, at first worried everyone but, it was quickly levelled properly and willow was fine again. she was now in a deep sleep and in a place of everything being at the levels they were supposed to be. however, willow could tell that her brother was resting next to his sister and silently crying whilst daniel tried to calm him down as kelly and mum took care of the kids.

willow's pov

thankfully, after the scare i had with my chemo dosage, i woke up around four-ish hours later. but, i was keeping my eyes closed, simply resting them whilst max cried into my hand that i had laid at my side as he caressed it. daniel sat next to him and comforted him. even though i was resting my eyes and somewhat awake, i could hear him whisper.

"come on schatje honey, where's all your energy gone? you've never been this tired before, what happened?" he whispered into my hand as i heard him cry as i could feel daniel try to comfort him

"it's not gone completely max. she's just storing it all before using it when she's got all of it. she's still your sister," daniel whispered to my brother as i smiled, he was right, i hadn't gone anywhere

"where is my little girl, will? open your eyes schatje, it's been four hours! what's better up there as your reason to not open your eyes? come on darling, i wanna see your blue eyes!" max started to sob and it broke my heart

everyone knew that max, my brother, wasn't one to be that emotional of a person. it was always obvious as to why but, i won't comment on it. but, now i understood why he always ran away from me when he would start to cry or even get the smallest bit emotional as my eyes started to flutter open. daniel nudging max to look up from my hands. 

"maxie..." i mumbled as i slowly sat myself up, daniel nudging max to look up, when he did he smiled small

"willow...are you okay? is something hurting? are you hungry? do you..."

"...maxie, i'm fine, calm down, please. i'm just tired but, nothing that a splash of water to the face and some food can't fix. i promise i am okay and, to answer your question, even if it was rhetorical, my energy hasn't completely disappeared. it's just halfway full and i'm wanting it to be all the way full before i start using it. and your little sister hasn't gone anywhere, i'm still here max," i smiled as i combed my fingers through his hair as he smiled, it slowly started to reach his eyes as tears welled in his eyes

"i'm never leaving maxie..."

whenever you're ready, whenever you're ready

willow was slowly starting to deteriorate and it was painful. not in a physical sense but in a mental sense. okay, maybe it physically hurt a little bit but, the girl never said anything because she didn't want to hear her doctors and nurses talking anymore. and she didn't want them giving her more harmful drugs in her system. however, willow's hospice carer and main oncologist, dr phelps realised what was going on. and then told willow's current guests, penelope and kelly to leave so dr phelps could talk to willow in private.

willow's pov

dr phelps knew something was up, he knew i was in pain. physically and mentally. however, this was the first time in a while that he was questioning me about it.

closing the door on max's girlfriend and her daughter, kelly and penelope, he sat down and gave me a raised eyebrow, "okay, come on small one. tell me what's up? there's something going on that you're not telling the rest of your family. so, tell me, what's going on?" dr phelps tilted his head to look at me, i had never felt this weak or small in my entire life as i huffed

"nothing dr phelps, i'm fine," i lied, again

yeah, this was something i had been doing this past month. along with the forcing everyone to speak english since any other language just messed with my head. especially considering i basically only had this month left before i drop dead anyway. so, might as well lie, right? which, when you remember the fact i'm nine years old and i'm saying this, is quite sad

"no, you're not willow. i've been by your side for the entire year and a half that you've gone through this. this is the exact opposite of how you acted so, what's wrong? you know if you don't or can't tell your mum, brother, kelly, the rest of the f1 grid, you can and have to tell me. so, spill, what is going through that little undeveloped head of yours?" although i really didn't want to laugh, dr phelps did always find a way in how he did his consults to make it lighthearted and comedic in the right places as i smiled

"seriously? do i have to?" i joked with a small giggle, acting like the teenager i'd never get to be as dr phelps nodded his head with a half smile

"uh-huh, come on small one. cough it up, what's wrong?" dr phelps smiled as i huffed, explaining everything to him, having no clue that my max and charles had walked past, hearing it all

"i'm tired dr phelps. like, in a way i've never been before and i...i'm so sore. the amount of pain i'm in is so painful it feels like i'm in pain every day. why...why can't it just stop doctor?" i was wanting to cry but, i couldn't because of how unbearable the pain was getting

"i know small one, i know how tired you are. but, are you able to hold on a little bit longer? just a little? i mean, it's almost your maxie's birthday. and, i know for a fact, even though i shouldn't say this, that one of your brother's birthday wishes is for you to be there with the family and sing him happy birthday. you think you could hold on a little longer for that?" dr phelps stroked my cheeks as i shrugged my shoulders - i've gotten so tired that i'm just not so sure how much longer i can continue this fight, even though getting to maxie's next birthday would be amazing

"i...i want to but, i...i don't know anymore dr phelps," i mumbled when i heard a sob muffled by either a hand or someone's shoulder

looking past dr phelps, the door opened, and i noticed max and charles - max crying into charles' shoulder as he tried to once again comfort max.

"i...i'm sorry maxie but, i-i'm just so tired..." my eyes started to close as dr phelps let them know that i was sleeping, i was fine and my heart machine and the others alike were still working normally, i was just sleeping

"...it's alright guys, willow is okay. she's just sleeping, she's not dead," dr phelps smiled as they all nodded their heads, breathing a sigh of relief

"thanks, dr phelps. i think we're okay to watch her now. go and eat something, i'm sure you're starving, thank you again," max whispered as dr phelps nodded his head and left shortly after as i felt max grab my hand

whenever you're ready, whenever you're ready

willow was on the last stretch of her life before her cancer would take over her life and slowly kill her. she had been spending the last month on hospice treatment at her home in the netherlands with her family, the extended f1 grid family and dr phelps. the thing that hurt everyone the most other than the obvious was how much younger she looked. even though she was still just a kid at nine-years-old. she was weak, skinny and basically unrecognisable. to the point where penelope, blue jaye and the rest of the step-siblings and niece and nephews sometimes couldn't recognise willow. she had just helped her family celebrate her brother's birthday just three weeks shy of coming back home for hospice care. she managed to get healthy enough to sit on her brother's lap at a restaurant and sing happy birthday to him with the rest of the family. however, straight after, willow's health quickly declined and had her bedridden ever since.

willow's pov

i was so tired and weak and i always felt so sick that all i wanted to do was just sleep. however, i knew if i did close my eyes, there was a chance i wouldn't open them again. and that would, no pun intended, kill my entire family but especially my brother. so, for the sake of my brother and the rest of my family, i tried. i tried so hard to keep my eyes open until i physically couldn't any longer.

"hey chickadee, you alright?" daniel yawned as he slowly woke up, charles already awake, nudging max and lando as they opened their eyes as well

for context, these four crazies had been with me all night. whilst mum, kelly and the other f1 drivers volunteered to watch the other children whilst dr phelps could actually sleep through the night properly. because, normally, it's dr phelps that stays with me overnight in my bedroom, not my family.

"mm, i've been better danny but, you know, it's life," i smirked weakley as he gave me a sad smile

max hadn't let go of my hand, i started to stroke my finger against his hand as i gave him a small smile, "maxie, will i be forgotten about?" i mumble as max gasps out, tears slowly landing on my hand

"oh, honey, no, never. you'll always be with me, mum, kelly, penelope and blue jaye. blue and the rest of the siblings and penelope will be told everything about their older sister," he sniffled softly as i nodded my head, barely even able to acknowledge daniel, lando and charles who watched on in devastation

"maxie? i'm...i'm tired. can i go to sleep? when can i go home?" i was so weak and tired, i had never felt so little and like an infant until now

max sniffled again, knowing the "home" i meant wasn't our physical home which my bedroom was in right now. daniel and charles tried to comfort him whilst lando comforted me.

"whenever you're ready, schatje," he cried into my hand as i breathed out softly, a small smile on face

can we, can we surrender? can we, can we surrender?"

it was now coming up to willow's last few days alive. and she was getting even more weaker if that was possible, as the days went on. she was slowly starting to surrender to her cancer and was wanting her brother and the family to do the same thing as well. they didn't deserve this. to have to constantly take care of her every single day when her brother and bonus family were meant to be coming into their next season of formula one. but, it seemed as though since the new beginnings and the cancer diagnosis and everything else with the new formula one season, they were for now extending the break a little longer for max until further notice. sacrificing it all to let him take care of her in her last months alive. willow saw it as something max didn't need, an extra "thing" he didn't need stressing over but he didn't. max saw it as being a hero and just doing what was right. being together as a family a little bit longer before he was away for majority of the year so he could take care of his dying sister. 

willow's pov

today was a quiet day, no one really said anything. as though everyone knew that i was coming to the last stretch of my life. so, max, daniel, charles and lando all sat around my bed. whilst mum, kelly, heidi, alex and penelope/my siblings sat around my room. they were all so upset and it was the first time i had everyone in my room all at the same time since leaving the hospital and coming home. but, it was the first time i had really seen max so upset. sure, i had seen and heard him cry plenty of times but, not like this. and it sucked. i hated seeing anyone upset but none more so than my family, especially my brother. because it made me feel helpless, i mean, more than i already was. i literally couldn't move or do anything to make him feel better. hell, the only thing he wanted was for me to get better but, that was the one thing i definitely couldn't and have failed to do. slowly, the family started to trail out of my room leaving lando with me. they all took advantage of the new starbucks and convenience store that had been built right on the corner of the street we live on. the rest of the family decided to walk over to for some lunch whilst lando stayed back with me as that was the rule. i always needed at least one person to stay with me at all times, day and night.

"wanna know a secret, bug?" lando whispered as i looked up at him, mustering all the strength i had to hold his hand

"what is it lando?" i spoke softly, caressing his hand as he smiled

"i'm scared," what he said was so simple but it was heartbreaking as i nodded my head, believing him

"yeah? do you wanna know my secret?" i whispered as i held his hand slightly tighter as he combed his fingers through my hair as he nodded

"yeah, what is it?" he responded with a smile as i smiled back

"i'm scared too," i gulped as lando nodded his head

but he didn't bring it back up straight away which confused me. until he finally did lift his head back up when a exposed tear that i don't think he meant to release streamed down his cheek.

"oh, lando, don't cry," i whispered, slowly bringing my finger up to wipe it away which makes him laugh softly

"i'm scared, bug, of course, i'm going to cry," he whispered back as i smiled again, my finger that wiped his tear slowly coming back down to rest at my side

"you'll be fine, i promise lando ," i smiled as i fiddled weakly with my blanket as lando hummed

"how do you know, will? you won't be here for it?" he whimpered as i pressed my lips together before bringing my finger up again to wipe another one one of his tears

"i'll always be here lando, you just won't see me," i smiled as he sniffled, trying to look away as i struggled in grabbing his chin to look at me

"i...i'll miss you little bug," lando whimpered as more tears fell down his cheeks, chuckling, not because i was insensitive, thanks dad, not really, but because i was thinking the same thing

"i'll miss you too lando but, it's okay. i'll be the ghost that haunts you in your dreams every night *tearful giggles*. which sounds awful so, maybe not in your dreams but on the track. but, i'll be keeping you - all of you guys - safe. i'll give you signs every single day. if you ever need anything, just call my name, and i'll be there," i whispered to him as he nodded his head

he let his head fall into my arm as i cooed, my hand curving around the back of his head. i. then smoothed his hair to calm him down.

can we, can we surrender? i surrender

just like the day earlier, before willow and her family, said anything, it was figured out that she'd be spending some alone time with charles. in the same way she did with lando yesterday. with charles crying and willow trying to comfort him, soothing him, the nine-year-old suddenly felt at peace. almost as if her surrender was coming to its end. just like yesterday, charles had taken advantage of everyone else going around the corner for lunch. so, this time it was charles that stayed with willow.

willow's pov

"...willow...willow..." whispering to wake me up, my eyes fluttered open and i woke up, charles was sitting next to me

a small smile that barely reached his eyes on his face as he relaxed knowing i was still alive.

"...what's wrong charlie? are you okay?" i mumbled with worry, charles scoffed and shook his head

his lip then trembled as if he was about to cry - oh no, please charlie, don't cry. i feel like all i've seen lately is you guys cry or be sad. this wasn't the first time i had seen charlie cry but it was the first time i'd seen him cry like this. and i just want us to get through a day without someone crying.

"i don't care if i'm okay, are you okay willow?" he responded as i was taken aback - i had never really been asked that question in a while and, i wasn't so sure how to give a truthful answer

"umm...yeah i'm fi--" just as i was about to lie, charles caught me and prevented me even though i think he knew

he knew just like i did, that i wasn't lying on purpose. but because i just didn't know how to truthfully answer the question as he swallowed back a sob.

"--no you're not willow, please baby. don't lie to me, please tell me the truth sweetheart," he choked out as i looked up at him as my lip trembled

"i...i don't know charlie. i'm just...tired...so tired and i..." he cut me off, sobs softly wracking his body as his head fell onto my arm

"...please don't say it willow, please don't say it..." he sobbed as i took in a deep breath, as deep as i could and i whispered it

"...i'm done...i surrender...i'm ready..." i whispered as i fell asleep, my heart machine beating steadily, charles quietly sobbing as he brushed my hair back with one hand whilst the other one wiped away his tears

no one will win this time, i just want you back, i'm running to your side

it continued to come to willow's final days on earth and having one-on-one time with her family. and today, it was with daniel. also the girl when waking up after charles had fallen asleep, started to write some letters for her family. she just hoped they were intelligible enough to be understood.

willow's pov

as i woke up from my short little nap, taking a quick look at my vitals, to make sure i didn't need to scream for dr phelps, i smiled. i saw daniel. with a small smile, with his arms crossed and his feet weirdly crossed as he rested his weight on the side post of my door frame.

"hey goober, am i allowed to enter your counselling room?" daniel joked as i smiled and laughed slightly

this entire time, daniel had been trying to make me laugh and, he finally did it. and, in all honesty, the both of us couldn't have been happier.

"a nine-year-old is qualified enough to be a therapist? nice joke danny *giggles*. but, yes, you may enter, no one is stopping you from entering. as, this appointment is all yours, mr ricciardo. speaking of, what's up daniel, how are you dealing with this?" and yes, it went from zero to a hundred in seriousness quickly

but, it was because it is a serious topic as we both mirrored each other. crossed over arms and small smiles on our faces.

"i mean, i've been better but, i'm alright. but, most importantly, how are you willow? you haven't really cried once, why haven't you cried? you're meant to cry willow," daniel explained, his voice getting shaky quickly as i took in a deep breath and shrugged my shoulders

"i dunno," i shrugged, honestly, i had no idea why i hadn't cried yet

it was maybe because i didn't want to seem weaker than i already am. once again, thanks jos verstappen for that train of thought.

"you've got to know willow, please. before this whole thing became this, you were always crying. almost every day and now it's the other way around, why?" daniel pleaded as, once again, i just shrugged my shoulders

"i don't know daniel, that's my honest response," i shrugged as daniel just bit his lip to stop his sobs from getting too loud - this was the first time i'd actually seen daniel cry and it was really jarring

"just know that you are allowed to cry babe, no one is stopping you. hell, if you need to scream, just scream and we'll all be there to make it go away," daniel softly smiled as he gave me a kiss on the head as he then started to leave shortly after

but, before he could fully leave, i stopped him.

"...daniel, wait..." i called out, daniel stopping and turning around, smiling small

"...what's up bug, you okay?" he asked as he walked back over as i nodded my head but handed him something

"yeah, i'm okay. i just, i wanted to give you these since dr phelps can't take them. before you ask, i wrote everyone a letter as well as added a photo so you really don't forget me. and for the kids and my little verstappens, they have a separate letter even though i know they won't understand it until they're a lot older. and promise me you won't let them read the letters until after i die..." i muttered as i handed daniel the letters, i could tell he was struggling to accept the letters but did so anyway

"of course, i will. i'll make sure we won't forget you. i promise baby girl. thank you, willow," he whispered, kissing my cheek as i smiled as he walked out of my room for the shift change with dr phelps

flying my white flag, my white flag. my love, where are you, my love, where are you?

the countdown on willow's life was really quickly coming to an end and she wanted to make sure she got all the love, hugs and kisses and tears until her last breath. since the verstappen had said her final goodbye to blue jaye, penelope and her nieces and nephews, all of them not old enough to understand properly, cousins, uncles, aunties and parents, she had forced her brother and bonus f1 brothers to slowly get back into the f1 season (mostly max as he was the one that had taken the longest to return back). and this was so they were still working to some degree. and, on one of the days off, dr phelps let willow be alone with her brother and bonus brothers, not wanting to ruin it with them. and, it was comforting for the girl. the only talk between the group was every single memory that they shared together. willow, her brother, charles, daniel and lando were all cuddled up on the bed together.

willow's pov

talking about all the memories i've shared with my brother and bonus f1 brothers is the best way i could possibly begin the end of my time on this earth. max, charles, daniel and lando were all cuddled up together on my bed. thankful that it was quite large so, it was nice being so close to each other because it was truly comforting.

"...oh oh oh! i just remembered another one!" daniel piped out as we all laughed at the tone of his voice - it went high-pitched for those who were wondering why it was funny

"i remember we were being interviewed during one of the press conferences. willow, you were watching from the sidelines but you were so calm and collected that no one knew you were there until the end when it was mentioned. and you threw your hands up in such excitement because it was the first time you were being shouted out whilst being at a interview with us. it was the cutest thing ever and i literally remember that like it was yesterday!" daniel explained as we all smiled as i grabbed my drink bottle to have a drink to disguise an oncoming cough, feeling fine afterwards

"wow, i totally forgot about that dan, does anyone have any others?" lando giggled out as max piped up for the first time in a while

"i have one..." max piped up as we all turned to look at my brother who now looked as though he spends his days crying - which, he basically does at this stage when he isn't head first in the races

"what is it max?" daniel smiled as max took in a deep breath, puling me closer to him as i giggled softly

"when you ran into the parc ferme for the first time. you were waiting behind the barricades with mum and victoria but got too excited that the moment you knew they weren't looking, you took that as your chance...and you ran straight over to me. it was just after you got your cancer diagnosis and before i halted everything formula one. you had been looking forward to that grand prix for so long that no one could even think to be mad at you, not even mum and victoria, when you ran over to congratulate me on my win to give me a hug," max cuddled into me as i smiled -  yeah that was a memory of mine that i remembered and well too

"another one was when me, penelope and kelly surprised mum on her birthday by making her that photo album. even though me and kelly were the ones that made it considering penelope is still young. but it was really cute seeing her reaction and how excited she was to receive it," i giggled softly as max and the other three agreed

just as we were about to continue our trip down memory lane, a knock came on my door. dr phelps behind it as he gave an apologetic look that he had to cut our time together short but, we understood.

"...hey guys. i am so sorry to do this but, i am afraid it is time to hook willow back up to all of her other machines that isn't her life-support machine. but, whilst i'm doing this, if anyone does have any concerns, queries or anything, do feel free to ask. and, if she's able to, willow can help me answer them, right wills?" dr phelps winked as i smiled and nodded my head

"of course, so, any questions?" i smiled softly as max moved away from the bed, as did lando, daniel and charles so dr phelps could hook me up to the other machines again

reason being was for a certain amount everyday, i'd have some time off of those machines, except for my life-support machine. even though i should have been kept on all of these machines, it was only because i was coming to the end of my life that i was taking breaks from the other crucial machines i was hooked up to.

i then noticed that charles had a question and he spoke up, "willow..." he begun as i smiled

"...yeah charlie, you got a question?" smiling at my favourite monégasque, i could tell that charles was going to break his own heart and then everyone else's with his question but i knew he had to ask it anyway

"how long will it take for you to die when all the machines are turned off, not just these ones you're getting hooked back onto?" charles gave me a worried look as i smiled, knowing he was terrified of seeing it with his own eyes

"it depends, charlie. and if i'm right, it could take a couple of hours or an entire day, is that right dr phelps?" i responded, still asking dr phelps for help as he nods his head, letting me know i was correct

"yes, however, whilst we're talking about life support machines, willow can obviously die before we make the decision to turn her off life support if and when we come to that decision. because, sadly, we will have to come to that choice. like anyone on life support, whether it's due to cancer or because they're clinically brain dead or whatever, of course they can succumb to whatever caused them to be on life support to have them pass away before their day of their life support getting turned off happens. it just means the life-support machine will still beep because that's how we'll know that it's happened and we'll still have to turn it off. just, it wouldn't be the main reason why they've passed on, it'll just be that they've passed on before having to manually take her off of life-support." dr phelps expanded and i could tell that nearly took charles to his knees

he managed to compose himself however as he nodded his head and squeezed my hand as i squeezed it back.

"any other questions?" i smiled as daniel took in a deep breath, max staying frozen, obviously knowing the answers to these questions

which is why he didn't say anything, not that i think he wanted to say anything anyway which was fair.

"will it hurt? like, will you be able to feel any of it happening?" another thing that daniel and the rest of my family had been worried about when we were all told that i'd die soon - if it would hurt as i smiled

as dr phelps shook his head, i responded, "not at all daniel, it'll be like falling asleep or as though your blinking but you don't open your eyes to blink again," i smiled as i grabbed a tight squeeze of daniel's hand as he nodded his head

i then looked at lando, i knew he wanted to say something. a way to stall dr phelps from eventually turning off the machines.

so, he did, "how would you feel if we went back to formula one full-time for the next week? would you be okay?" lando said softly as my eyes lit up, nodding my head

"oh my gosh! i'd love for you guys to go back to racing for the new season for the next week! seriously! i can have mum and if you want, you can have the wags and penelope here as well!" i was so excited as i think that released a lot of stress off of not just max but my bonus brothers as well

"well, then, that just leaves us to dedicate this season of formula one to you! and i don't care what you say!" daniel buts in which makes us all giggle

"oh, thank you daniel! you know you didn't need to do that! i love you!" i laughed as daniel hugged me again as he kissed my face

"nope, we're doing it! no matter how many times you refuse it, these races and wins are dedicated to you. we also agreed with the rest of the grid in advance anyway that they'd be dedicated to you so, no take backs!" daniel smiled as i rolled my eyes and smiled

"okay fine, if you feel like you need to, here is my full permission!" i smiled as my brother and bonus brothers cheered, making me giggle

my love, where are you? my love, where are you?

the hectic schedule of formula one was starting to slow down as it was starting to once again reach the end of the season. the races having more than a week or two of breaks in between. meaning that after this weeks race, it was a three week break before returning for the next triple header of races. it was during that race before the three week break before the next triple header that willow stayed alive. when, suddenly, during heidi and kika's (the girlfriends of daniel and pierre) shift of looking after their favourite little verstappen, willow's life support machine started to beat unevenly. that was when dr phelps said that, willow's time had come and heidi and kika had to say goodbye. both girls, of course, freaked out. the drivers were all in mexico for the mexican grand prix, nowhere near monaco. whilst the guys were either in their cars doing the race or the podium ceremony, heidi rang max's team principal, christian horner. telling him that it had happened peacefully and that it would be better if the drivers all returned back to monaco as quickly as possible. just so max and the drivers could fly over to monaco and say their goodbyes to their sister and adopted sister. 

willow's pov

since the last catch up, i managed to keep strong throughout the last few grand prixs for the season of formula one. and today was their last grand prix before a three week break before the next triple header. they were currently in mexico for the mexico grand prix. even though i promised them i'd be alive by the time they finished the mexico grand prix, being well enough to see their next triple header of races. but, i had a feeling that i wasn't going to be able to do that. but, i did not think i'd get to the mexican grand prix and that would be the day it'd happen. as i half slept peacefully, with heidi, daniel's girlfriend and kika, pierre's girlfriend, softly singing to me and cuddling me in bed, my life support machine started to go awol as did my body. straight away, without hesitation, heidi and kika both shot right up, running to get dr phelps. this is it, i'm going to die tonight. i'm scared, heck, what's a word that means the same thing as scared but means even more? i mean, i genuinely thought i'd make it at least, at least, through the rest of the season, not the mexican grand prix!

"...kika, heidi, i...i'm tired, when can i go? i'm so tired," i sobbed, for the first time. wishing the rest of the family were here, so they knew i wasn't in pain

"oh, angel, it's alright baby girl!" heidi soothed, running her fingers through my hair as i weakly smiled

"heidi...kika...when...when can i let...let go?" it was like i was five again when i first seriously injured myself - i felt so young and like i was penelope's or blue jaye's age again as i sobbed weakly

"whenever you're ready baby girl, whenever you're ready," kika this time whispered as i whimpered and then, after another verse of kika and heidi singing, it happened, my life support machine started going, my body going, getting ready to flatline

beep....beep...beep...beep...beep...beep...beeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

i could hear everything. i could hear heidi, kika and dr phelps running to the bed. i could hear heidi screaming at dr phelps to try and keep me alive just for a few hours longer so mum, max and my f1 grid family could see me alive once more. just one last time. however, dr phelps couldn't so, kika got heidi to ring christian, screaming and sobbing down the phone line. grabbing her phone to ring christian horner, red bull's team principal telling him i was gone. hearing heidi and kika cry and scream like that hurt, it felt like i was getting thrown into a wall or getting stabbed near my heart.

"...dr phelps! please! do something! just keep her alive for a few hours longer please!"heidi screamed, sobbing as i could just picture dr phelps and him shaking his head, telling both heidi and kika that he, unfortunately, couldn't and that, it was time to pull the plug

"heidi, kika, please, darlings, i can't. i'm not allowed to, there is nothing more for me to do for willow. she wasn't in any pain girls, you could see that, she is in complete peace. she was happy that you two were with her in her last moments when her family or the f1 grid couldn't be. she couldn't feel anything at all. she was at peace with it, please, i know it is hard but, it's time to let her go you two," dr phelps said softly as kika and heidi's cries got louder and more grief-stricken

"i...i can't let her go, dr phelps! please, just a little bit longer, let her brother and her f1 family fly home to see her, please! let them say goodbye!" heidi cried out as dr phelps just shook his head again, he couldn't, there was nothing else that could have been done to keep me alive - kika struggling to comfort heidi as she was also distraught and sobbing

"i'm sorry heidi but, i have to. are you stable enough to ring christian to let him know so he can pass this information to the guys?" dr phelps spoke calmly but with a tinge of sadness as heidi nodded her head - kika also worried that she wouldn't be able to

"yes," heidi was trying so hard to calm herself down before calling christian as kika remained stuck to her side in comfort 

daniel's pov

the amount of fun all of us drivers were having at the mexican grand prix was insane. but not just me, lando, max, charles and pierre but the entire f1 grid. i genuinely never thought that we'd be able to get this happy considering what was going on back home in monaco with our sister willow and our girlfriend's (pierre and mine) who was looking after her. however, as the race and podium celebrations finished, christian walked over. he looked distressed and panicked. a sheer difference from the joy he had on his face moments ago considering it was a double rb podium with max in first and checo in third, lando coming second. shedding off my fireproofs, i could tell something wasn't right. it looked like the rest of the teams who also knew about willow's cancer and her recent decline in health did too. 

from the look on christian's face, we could all tell it was serious. especially when only just a second ago, lando and charles had made max laugh. the first time the older brother had truly laughed in what felt like forever. but then, in a split second, he was back to his grief-stricken face. 

all of us ran to the red bull garage, including those who weren't racing for red bull to where christian was as he fights with himself as to how he should tell us. max grabs ahold of my arm, which i don't mind. this could very well possibly be about willow. i also snake my arm around his waist and pull him close to me. then, christian dropped the gauntlet and told us when everything just came crashing down around us, not just for max, all of us.

"...guys, before i tell you this news, i want you all to take a deep breath and compose yourselves, okay?" christian begins as max looks at me, without even needing to be told, he already knew what christian was going to say and my heart shattered at the look in max's eyes

"what's wrong christian? are willow, kika and heidi okay?" pierre questioned, hoping they were okay as christian gave a slight shake of the head

"i...i'm sorry guys but, no, she isn't okay. heidi just called me in absolute hysterics. willow was half asleep half awake, both girls, heidi and kika was with her. the girls singing her to sleep and cuddling when, out of nowhere, willow's life support machine went awol. as did willow's body and then it stopped..." hearing that just completed my shattered heart but it obliterated max's heart

he was hysterical and i had no idea what to do. max's legs had almost collapsed from underneath him and i had no idea what to do. so, i just fell down with him, grabbing him just in time and turned his head into my shoulder, his body into mine. and he wept as i rubbed his back, his fingers digging into my back, not caring if it hurt - even though i knew it wasn't going to help him and nothing any of us did was going to bring willow back, it was the one thing i could do to help him control something.

the silence that filled the red bull garage was piercing. it was so painfully quiet as i looked at christian to continue telling us what happened. although i knew max didn't want to hear it, it was just so we had clarity. all i needed to know was if it hurt our little verstappen or not.

"...was...was it painful? like, was she in any pain?" i stammered out as i could feel the tears welling in my eyes stream down my cheeks as i took in a shaky breath, holding max tightly - christian giving me an emapthetic look

"not at all, daniel. heidi and kika were told by dr phelps that it did not hurt at all and that she was in complete peace. she couldn't feel a single thing daniel. i'm now going to tell the other team principals and the rest of the officials for the mexican grand prix. on top of the three week break, if any of you need it, we can push the first race of the triple header by another week so you guys get four weeks off if needed as bereavement leave," christian then announced as all of us drivers just stood in shock as we all looked at each other and nodded our heads 

"thank you christian. thanks so much. we'll grab our stuff and get to the car so we can get to the jets," i gulped as i knew this meant that the whole journey back to monaco, max would be inconsolable and so would the rest of the verstappens (kelly and penelope included)

and that, that made the rest of us feel horrible because we were all in this family. and we were all bonus brothers to willow. 

 𓆩♱𓆪

the drive to the plane and then the plane ride was awful. straight up awful. no one could say anything, not even the songs of the radio in the car or jet could make us sing or get excited. it was as though they knew the bereavement that we had just gone through. as every single song was one sad song after another. max couldn't stop crying, which, we didn't blame him for, whilst charles held him close. whilst pierre and i were told to be kept an eye on by fernando and checo since we were the other two (after max) without our partners since kika and heidi were already in monaco with dr phelps and willow. and carlos was wondering how on earth penelope and the kids were going to be told since they couldn't be kept in the dark. 

finally arriving at the house in monaco, we were all dreading it. seeing all our cars there, telling us that whilst it seemed like it to others, we actually weren't there at all during willow's last moments. then, finally, for the first time since telling us, christian spoke up. letting us know that we had arrived and it was time for us to go inside the house.

"...come on guys, we're here," christian spoke softly, now this was something we were all scared of happening during any of the grand prixs but most definitely the ones out of europe - willow dying and us not being there for her

walking into the house felt strange. it felt eerie and like it was the most obvious thing that someone, a literal child, my adopted sister and my best friend's sister, willow, had just died. i grabbed a tight hold of max. my hand snaking around max's waist as we walked into the house before we saw kelly who immediately went for max. heidi, my girlfriend and pierre's girlfriend kika are the next people we saw. it was so easy to tell that they both had been crying the whole time, just like max. neither girl, kika and heidi, said anything, we didn't need them to. pierre, max and i just included the girls into the hold we had with max and kelly and we just held each other as they cried. i then went up to willow's room quickly to grab the letters before coming back down where everyone else had taken a seat on the couch.

"good that everyone is sat down but umm, i have something i need to give to you all..." i trailed off as i noticed how everyone watched me with such intensity

"...these. willow made me promise her that i would keep these letters a secret and that i would give them to you or even mention them until she died. we have the choice of reading them aloud to each other now or reading them privately whenever you feel ready to do so. there is one for each of us. including penelope, blue jaye and the other little verstappens and max. and along with the letter she added a photo of herself so we wouldn't forget her," i was so calm, except for the little falter when mentioning the letters for penelope, blue jaye and the rest of the little verstappens and it was scary

but, honestly, i think it was nice for them all but max and kelly especially, to have someone to be so calm. i then gulped, grabbing my own letter as well as max's, ours being the two on the top.

"thanks, daniel," max muttered, kelly smiling gratefully as i smiled at the both of them with a small head nod

"of course max," i smiled softly as i then walked out, with the idea to read my own letter privately because i knew i would cry and i didn't want to cry in front of everyone nor set max and possibly kelly off

i mention kelly because even though kelly is only max's girlfriend and not anything else, she still absolutely adored willow. kelly loved willow in the same way she loved her daughter penelope. and i knew kelly would do everything she could to comfort max and the verstappens and help them through this indescribable loss, the same way the rest of the f1 grid will when he eventually returns. 

i watched then as charles walked into willow's room for one last goodbye alongside max, kelly having just stepped out as i stepped in.

whenever you're ready, whenever you're ready

charles' pov

sliding our letters on the bedside table, max and i were sitting with willow. she looked like she was fast asleep like she was about to wake up from that sleep. tightly holding his sister's hand, max refused to believe it, his eyes looking at his letter. he refused to believe that his younger sister had actually died and done so peacefully. he wanted to believe that she was just going to wake up. holding her hand like he was and watching her like this took him back, all the way back to when he was meeting her for the very first time. and he would have her sleeping on his bare chest. yeah, sorry sophie, sleep time with willow was always going to be a brother/sister thing. except, that wasn't what was going to happen this time. this time, she was nine, staying at that age forever, and max was in his mid twenties, thereabouts and she wasn't going to wake up from a nap and have some quality time with her brother. this time, she was sleeping forever, peacefully. no more pain and suffering. no more crying in private, behind her family's back, even though we suspected it. no more being tired and scared if she was going to wake up the next time or not. this time, willow knew what the true meaning of peace meant. and she was only nine, not allowed to get another year older as the rest of her family would. not allowed to get to watch her family grow up and potentially watch them travel through life.

max's pov

i wasn't ready for this. i was never going to be ready for this day to come. she looked like she was three again, having her afternoon nap. so she could get energised for some more playtime with her brother, which was me. she looked so peaceful like she was sleeping. seeing her like this was a double-edged sword. on one side, made me happy because, like charles' dad herve, she was no longer in any pain and she was now going to live life with herve forever free and in peaceful, painless bliss. however, on the other side, it made me upset. and the fact that she was no longer allowed to have her tenth birthday, or even her eleventh birthday. not even her twelfth or thirteenth birthdays either. she wasn't even allowed to watch her other siblings or penelope or her nieces and nephews grow up in the future. i just wanted my sister to wake up and wipe away me and her family's tears away and tell us that she was okay. that she was going to survive another day with me, with us, her family. for the first time that charles and i had been in here, i spoke up.

"...she...she looks so peaceful charles. like she's three again and i'm still going crazy at the fact that i have another sister," i whimpered out as charles sighed as he rubbed my back

"yeah, she really does max," charles smiled softly as i sniffled, wiping a tear from my cheek as i smiled as well

"i...i always told her that, if she needs to leave, she can do it whenever she was ready. i never wanted her to be in pain charles. neither did mum, victoria or kelly, but, i just wish her ready was our ready..." i choked out as charles pulled me in for a hug as i cried again

"i know max, i know," he whispered repeatedly as i continued to cry

"i...i miss my sister," i sobbed out as i could feel charles tighten as if he was keeping himself from crying in front of me

"have you read the letter that daniel gave you, yet, max? maybe that could help?" charles whispered as i staggered and grabbed the letter

"no, i...i can't. it hurts too much to even look over at it," i whispered, tears stinging my waterline and cheeks as charles smiled small

"it's okay max, i can't read mine either and it seems like daniel can't either. i thought i could but, i really couldn't. maybe we'll read them as a group together in a few weeks, maybe that'll be easier," charles whispered as i nodded my head, just resting it on his shoulder

whenever you're ready, whenever you're ready

now, max left and it was just charles and willow. it was the next day after being told willow had died. unlike max, charles couldn't find it within him to leave his little verstappen alone for the night. dr phelps had requested at least a week or less from the coroner's before arriving to take willow's body away. charles just couldn't bring himself to leave her in that room on her own. he felt like he was being begged without willow even saying anything for him to stay with her. and, he did. he talked to her and he cried and that was the circle of events that he did throughout the night until he fell asleep. his head resting on willow's exposed and untouched arm.

charles' pov

i just couldn't do it. i couldn't leave willow alone. i just couldn't. unlike max and kelly since they had to continue taking care of penelope and the rest of the verstappen's, i wasn't able to. i felt as though willow, without even saying anything, was asking me to stay with her. so, i just started to talk to her. with that obviously came the crying as she actually couldn't respond. and that just made me upset that i wasn't getting any responses from the little verstappen. which then made me feel weird for talking to the deceased girl. this then kept on going on a repeated cycle until i fell asleep. resting my head on her exposed and untouched arm.

"...it feels so weird without you, mon ange. it's like, i don't know. nothing seems fun anymore. the rest of our f1 season will no longer be properly exciting anymore. sure, it's only been a day since you died but, i've never seen your brother so burnt out and exhausted. i'm scared willow, what are we going to do without you? what are we going to do without you after this f1 season ends?" i cried out, i was truly lost, what were we going to do?

sure, we were stil going strong in this season of f1 with no signs of slowing down but, it was obvious that there were talks of the grid changing and evolving again. but, nothing was fully set in stone yet. we had a great few years as the current grid and we had willow with us for nine of those years. she's literally been with us basically since some of us have started in f1. now she was gone. and it was like we were all having to rebuild our lives all over again after losing our best friend, a similar thing definitely going through max's mind too, since this is the first time he's lost someone so close to him before. 

"please, willow, don't do this to us. we always told you to leave whenever you were ready but, why didn't you understand we meant our ready, not your ready!" i sobbed out once again, crying into willow's clean white bedsheets

"fuck sake! it feels like our little f1 family has just stopped spinning but everyone else's continues to spin around us. what are we going to do? what will we do now?" i couldn't stop crying, it was quite embarrassing. however, i slowly found myself getting tired

"i love you so much willow. whilst the loss of my dad and godfather hurt, and is something i'll never understand for the rest of my life, i'll never be able to understand this. the loss of my beautiful, sweet, forever young baby red bull. god, willow, if you're up there with my dad and jules, please let them know that we love them and miss them," i sobbed out as i felt my eyes close and all of a sudden, i was knocked out asleep, my head resting on willow's exposed and untouched arm

 𓆩♱𓆪

can we, can we surrender? can we, can we surrender? i surrender, i surrender

liked by kellypiquet, landonorris, danielricciardo, heidiberger, charlesleclerc, pierregasly, victoriaverstappen and 12,000k others

maxverstappen1 willow violet verstappen. she was my little sister. and my family got the honour of having her as ours for nine years. and how i wish every single day i open my eyes that willow got to do the same thing and have more than just nine years. ever since the day victoria and i found out we were getting another sibling, we knew the risk but also the pure joy of mum and dad keeping the pregnancy. but, they did anyway and boy are we glad they did. whilst this post only shows me, kelly, penelope and willow, it's only because all the other photos that willow has with the other siblings, victoria's kids and the f1 grid are from their last few days together. and because all the other kids are still so young and don't know what's just happened and the beveravement we've just had, i don't want to share them online, not now anyway. watching my eight year old sister get diagnosed with cancer and then get to see her celebrate her ninth birthday, help celebrate our mum's birthday as well as my own birthday and some grand prix's will always be something we are so grateful for as a family. even though she didn't get to see her tenth birthday and every other birthday after that whilst the rest of us get to turn another year older and meet and watch the other kids in the family grow up for the short time she had with them.  watching little willow go through her cancer and then the short amount of treatment we had her on for, we always told her that whenever she was ready to go, she could go. but, no one who loses anyone to cancer or any terminal illness admits that when they say that statement, they don't mean when their family member is ready to go. they mean when everybody else is ready. and that wasn't any different for me and my family with willow. we didn't want her to leave when she was ready because we knew it would be way before the rest of us were ready. but, now writing this and posting it halfway through this years formula one season, i am so proud of my little sister for letting go when she was ready to. and not feeling like she had to wait for everyone else around her to be ready for her to leave. she knew she wasn't going to be painless unless she let herself go and she has done just that. like i mention literally everywhere and anywhere i can, being your older brother, willow violet, was the best thing in the world for me. and i have no doubts that your mum and other siblings would say the very same thing. we all love you to the moon, the stars and the milky way, schatje. maxie will talk to you soon, sleep tight princess 🤍

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kellypiquet our beautiful little girl. your beautiful mini-me 

maxverstappen1 kellypiquet i know! i remember how upset dad and mum got when willow looked like me 

landonorris breaking my heart here, max! we miss you every day willow 

maxverstappen1 landonorris sorry lando but i can't deal with the feeling of people forgetting her. and i miss her too 🤍

danielricciardo my god, max, when will my tears stop? i miss your cuddles, willow 🤍

maxverstappen1 danielricciardo good question i have no idea and she gave the best cuddles didn't she?

heidiberger all of these photos and more and i still wish she was here so we could take more 🤍

maxverstappen1 heidiberger i know. i think about that every day and my heart shatters

charlesleclerc our sweet willow violet. miss you, mon ange 🤍

maxverstappen1 charlesleclerc 🤍🤍

pierregasly max, this is beautiful. miss you willow 🤍

maxverstappen1 pierregasly thank you pierre🤍

victoriaverstappen oh stop it max! my heart is broken in two 🤍

maxverstappen1 victoriaverstappen i don't want people to forget our sister vic🤍

f1fanatic i cannot even imagine how these last two months have been for you guys. willow was such a sweet little girl. for sure everyone's favourite verstappen! i remember how much she loved victoria's littles as well as penelope 🤍

maxverstappen1 f1fanatic i can't either and then i remember. and she really was, she was such a sweet soul with too much love to carry in her tiny body, especially for penelope and her nieces and nephews 🤍

fin

this took nearly all day to rewrite so please love this please and thank you! also, i legit went back and forth from having this be about child loss or sibling loss so many times when i finally decided sibling loss cause i couldn't have it within me to have max be an actual biological dad to a daughter and then have the kid pass away. so, for part two, i'll have the timelines change a little so when she's older, it's still the same f1 grid like it is now in 2024 but no ages have changed? if you know what i mean...

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2024

[nezz-cringe-crib]

LAWLIGHT HEADCANONS LAWLIGHT HEADCANONS LAWLIGHT HEADCANONS PLSS

Share your winsdom with us mortals

ALSO- Some L angst maybe? I like seeing him suffer bc he is my favorite blorbo and I love making my blorbos suffer

(only if you are comfortable with it, ofc. Don't wanna push anything :) )

OOOOUGHH AAAAAA ABSOLUTELY

i always suck at giving hcs off the fly, but here's some i've thought up of before and like to think about instead of sleeping :333 (be warned that they're all pretty vanilla lolz. my hcs are basic. i just like my blorbos.)

Lawlight hcs:

blorbbooo tiiimmeeeee :33 - i personally really like fluffy lawlight things, but a lot of those are usually for aus and everything (since i can't see them being very fluffy in the normal death note plot). but i like to imagine them having stupid teenage-like crush moments with each other. like maybe during the yotsuba arc or something, L wants more sweets but watari is already out doing something, so his dramatic ass is just whining about "oh woe is me....... there's nothing in the vicinity for me to munch on......... how will i ever go on......." and then to get him to shut up, light begrudgingly either bakes something for L (which could probably lead to a lot of silly shenanigans with stupid dorky smiles before light immediately takes it back and starts bickering with L again), or light convinces L to go buy some sweets from a bakery in town (and then L gets distracted because there's multiple sweet-filled stores and his greedy ass has to try all of them so now they're essentially just going on a date trip around all the sweet stores in town). - also to add onto that last bullet, there's this one fic i just read last night that was so stupid and adorable and i loved it. it's called "You can't have my name, but you can have my number" and i recommend checking it out if you like short and sweet fluffy fics. :] (and if you want more fluffy fics, go read everything @rawrlight has made. his fics are so fucking good please read them i am obsessed with them actually pleasepleasepleaseplease) - L is surprisingly good with kids and light won't admit it but he's kinda into it. - L nonchalantly shares food with light and light totally overthinks the shit out of it. - they totally pick at each other for everything. light picks at L for every unsanitary thing he does. L picks at light for having an unnecessarily long and complicated hygiene routine (i like to imagine he has a shit ton of hair and skincare products). anybody who walks past the bathroom while they're in it is bound to hear non-stop bickering. (or, if you really wanna match my freak, have matsuda open the bathroom door while they're getting ready only to see them in the middle of a fight. whether the pose they're in looks compromisingly homosexual is up to you my dear sillies).

uhhhhhh and that's all i can think of for now. awww zoinks.....

but now L angst headcanons yipeeeeeeeee :33333

L angst hcs:

ooougghhhh buckle up boyz... it's angsty tism time..... - i don't think L was ever good at making friends (this is very much a projected headcanon but shshshshshsh ignore that). despite being insanely intelligent and pretty damn good at whatever he sets his mind to, i don't think he ever got the hang of making deep, personal connections. and i feel like he wants to. throughout his whole life, maybe he wanted to make friends but it always just fell flat. maybe as a child there were times where thought he had made a friend, only to realize those feelings were not reciprocated. despite everything he tried, he was just never "human" enough to seemingly make all those lasting connections that he analyzes so deeply. and i think he probably gave up on trying at some point. and all of this is why i feel like his connection with light is so important. even though he knows it'll end in tragedy and that he will die by light's hand, he still can't help but feel... a little more human with light. and i think he'd risk death in order to feel like that one more time. - i don't usually like reading/seeing heavily angsty stuff, but i remember seeing somebody headcanon that they thought L went through solitary confinement as a child in the wammy house, and i always thought that was interesting. i'm not gonna expand on it though since heavy angst isn't really my vibe. (i love making my blorbos suffer, but not too much.) - yeah most of my L angst is him just being incredibly lonely. in the sense of "he doesn't cry about it (he's probably only cried once in his life and that was probably as a very young child), but there's always been some missing piece in his heart that just can't ever seem to be filled". - actually-- loneliness and his inhumanity. that's what i fuck with the most. though they kind of intertwine, so. yeah i kinda just sound like a broken record atp but sshhhhhhhhhhh it pays off (sometimes) i swear. - he also has a lot of religious trauma in my eyes (again, projection). i know he's not religious or anything, but i feel like he'd fit that song "Dear God" by XTC a lot. - oh and he also sulks a fuckton. he doesn't cry, he pouts and goes to stand in the rain while reminiscing on old memories. that's what his emo dramatic ass does and i fucking love him for it.

that's all i can really think of right now. hopefully that's somewhat entertaining. most of my headcanons are very basic compared to other people i've seen, but they are still special in my heart. :))))

[wttcsms]

balancing act fan anon here again 👋🏼 girl…… i will take anything that you got for this fic (i really may be the only feral gojo fan u got in ur fanbase 🥲)

one of my favorite parts abt writing balancing act is the idea that reader is seen as this total girlboss (in the least cringe way, i swear 😭) so she’ll sometimes be described as - or even describes herself - as that annoying antagonistic evil woman in the hallmark movies. you know, the one that the businessman male lead is engaged to but ends up dumping in favor of choosing the sweeter, nice small town girl instead. but a major part of balancing act is emphasizing how in relationships, there's sort of a part we choose to play when we enter them. so, we get a glimpse of this in the first chapter when reader is talking to utahime, and in the narration, it's mentioned that reader cannot believe that utahime's ex boyfriend broke up w her because he considered her to be "shy" and "demure" but it's commented that reader recalls utahime drunkenly choking out gojo during karaoke night when they were in college; there's nothing shy or demure abt that. and so u wonder (but never ask) about how utahime presented herself in that relationship.

some fun scenes + notes that i took for balancing act:

reader and gojo make intense, intimate eye contact and reader gets nervous, dare i say, thrown off balance, and he thinks you're going to say something sweet and you are thinking of saying something nice and genuine to him but what comes out is "you need to get some brown contacts. seriously." and then u walk off and ur like what the actual fuck did i just say that, why did i say that. he's thinking wtf too

reader is kinda ass at cooking, so u go to a convenience store nearby ur apartment but that one closed down (a recurring anecdote LMAO), so u resort to going to a 7/11 that GOJO happens to go to often and you know how there's like a section where u can cook the ramen or food u purchased and ur just sitting there eating, decompressing after work, and out of the corner of ur eye, who do u see? GOJO

cue awkward, accusatory "what are you doing here?!" against his "me? i live like two blocks from here, and i'm here every week, what are you doing here?" and ur like "every week? that is so not the brag you think it is." despite the fact that reader's dinner like 3x a week is instant ramen heated up in a convenience store microwave

and reader is kind of embarrassed bc u feel like this is something lame of u, almost shameful, because again, appearances to u matter. but gojo is fucking loaded and u see the fancy takeout he gets for lunch in the office so ur confused as to why he's eating instant spicy noodles and using the same public microwave you just used, and he's like, well, the food here is really cheap

and ur like "yea cause it's packed w preservatives and chemicals." and hes like "well u seem to be enjoying ur preservatives and chemicals." and ur like "yes. they say u should eat ur skincare. this is cheaper than botox. im gonna be so preserved, i'm going to look this way forever." and now, ur once a week ritual is to sit next to each other and eat instant ramen

blah blah blah, this is abt how there is no performance when it comes to each other; although, maybe it'll be touched on/mentioned that in the beginning stages of you two being in the process of opening up to each other, there is still a level of performance going on (re: reader immediately trying to turn the embarrassment u feel abt herself by "shaming" gojo for doing the same exact thing only to end up enjoying his company and doing said activity together. maybe something abt how u two always exchange this performance (insulting each other) like it's a type of pleasntry; their own little version of a "hi, how are you" type thing)

short scene immediately after is a convo w him and geto, where geto asks whats got him so happy and gojo is like "we're getting botox together."

and the whole point of ur relationship and why it’ll work and why it’s just so different is that between the two of you, y'all have both always been performative in ur respective romantic relationships (to a certain extent)

but w gojo, reader is unabashedly and sometimes even embarrassingly yourself, your full self, in front of him and when we finally get to month three of the story, you're trying to seduce him, so u get all dressed up

and gojo knows ur trick and he stays strong but what gets him to snap and give in

is when he sees u in the morning, making coffee, no makeup, messy hair, wearing his shirt

ALSO, u tell gojo he's annoying bc he makes u laugh all the time which makes ur makeup crease around ur smile lines + gojo says softly, hidden by the sounds of ur laughter, "but i like ur smile lines. i like your smile"

gojo can be a sweetiepie, reader just needs to have a breakdown in front of him

i wouldn't say it's angst, i think both need to have their own moment of self reflection to be like ok damn, this is who i am as a person. and again, you're both used to being performative people

you'll have a moment where you're close to each other, and the conversation turns serious and maybe even oddly sweet, and reader's "instincts" just kick in and so u back away, both physically and figuratively, trying to change the subject

and i think an important aspect is that this is out of gojo's comfort zone as well; he can joke around, he can be a (poor) flirt, he teases, and so he's putting himself out there by also engaging in serious convo w you, in being the most open about himself

and so it's v hurtful to see the light at the end of the tunnel, to believe that you can really let him in and that it's worth putting himself out there

and so, rationally, he can only handle being shut out (while also feeling like he's being thrown aside) for so long

so cliche, he's drawing back and now you're the one who has to do the pulling him in while he's somewhat pushing you out

just, moral of the story, u can't expect someone to love u unless you show up with your full self in tow and allow them to know you

and being a #corporategirlboss isn't as much fun as buzzfeed articles will have u believing

and so i think you are v focused on ur looks as well

and u two go on a business trip

and ur luggage goes missing which contains ur makeup bag

and ur like tweaking tf out LMAO

[denzelhart]

His delighted star (2)

Summary: You couldn't sleep due to the last mission. To make it even worse, you had a training session in the morning, after a while you tried to go back to sleep. You have given up, which leads you to making coffee to stay away. That's when you meet Ghost and Soap there. Feels nice to have some company, right?

Warning: Swearing, some fluff?, mentions of death, Soap being the matchmaker (maybe), kinda rush, You have a friend name Tobas, Reader has no pronouns.

- C/n: Code name.

- L/n: Last name.

Wordcount: 1.6k

Note: This is a male reader fic but can be read as gender neutral! There might be some error grammar because English isn't my first language and this is my first time writing fic! Hope you enjoy!

Thank you for reading the last fic! I didn't think you guys would enjoyed that much ( ；∀；)

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Male!reader

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2

How much time has passed? You don’t even know anymore. 

It's now three in the morning, you couldn't have a good sleep or nap since that long ass mission, perhaps that's what you pay for sitting goddamn too long even though it weren't your fault.

To make it even worse, you have a training session with the team in the morning. Yet you're still here, eyes wide open, don't know when the sun will rise. You can try or even force yourself to go back to sleep so you won't fall asleep while doing the training, rolling back and forth or maybe counting to hundred will make you fall asleep, yeah it's a good idea. It's not.

What time is it now? Four fifteen, what have you been doing? You might be counted to a thousand or more. Even now, you can't sleep or even rest a bit. Although, your sleep schedule is so little, it didn't bother you much but it became a habit. 

A habit that isn't good for your health.

You got up from the bed after giving up on falling back to sleep, you decided to make coffee or tea to keep your eyes open while you can, maybe find some food in case you're hungry or just want something to chew in your mouth. Put on your hoodie since it'll be cold in the hallway at this time, begin to walk out your room along with go down the hallway in the base to find the kitchen in the darkness. 

Usually it'll always be packed with people walking around, chatting,.. That's only at noon, sometimes in the evening when they have finished their training, now it's only an empty hallway with a little light left turn on for anyone going to the bathroom.

Only a few more steps before you reach the kitchen, little walks like this calm your mind a bit. After a full week, stress out the amount of paperwork that you have to deal with, which has been given the last week. You wanted to finish for so long but you were uninterested in doing those, especially when you hated those boring papers the most. You just kept delaying until the deadline started coming. It always fuck up at the last moment but you already done with it. 

Kind of?

Price doesn't like it when you work half-heartedly. However, you still get your paper stuff done and that's out of the way. You're already in the kitchen while lost in those thoughts about paper works. You hate them, that's fine no one likes it anyways. 

Or maybe it's just you who hated doing paper stuff.

Walk over to the cabinets to find some coffee since it's already run out of tea bags. When you're busy making coffee, you don't notice another silhouette already in the room, looking at you. "Making coffee this early?" You startled, turn around only to see him.

Ghost.

"Ghost, you scared me." You smile and complain a bit, holding onto your cup while waiting for the kettle to boil. Seems like you aren't the only one who is awake. "Can't sleep?" His tired eyes looking at your figure. You shake your head. "No." Silent covers the whole kitchen, the only sound you can hear is the boiling kettle. "You want some coffee?" Didn't look at his direction, hand grabbing another cup knowing what the answer is but still asked him. "Sure." he said.

Hand move quickly making some coffee for the both of you, until you startle a bit by a hand on your back moving slowly up and down through the fabric of your hoodie like trying to give you some comfort after having trouble going back to sleep.

His hand was warm, it felt nice, relaxed and safe. Feeling someone's presence was there, giving you some or little affection after a hard time sleeping. Not just anyone can do that to you. Well, sometimes the team gives you some feeling of a loving family. Ghost sure is something else, the mysterious man with a skull face. You didn't expect him, the one who gives you these types of feelings is him, Simon. 

To get used to his affection and physical contact, it takes you a lot of time and effort to not get startled from Ghost's affection. Eventually you begin to like them, even it took you long enough to finally catch some feelings for your Lieutenant. No warning or a sign, it just calmly came to you.

But it wasn't any feelings, it was love.

The ways he shows you his affection make you feel like home. That’s why you love him, when he was around, you couldn't help yourself by looking at Ghost until he started catching your gaze. It's kinda funny how you try to grab his attention by staring at him.

Tobas was right, you do love him and it's bullshit to keep denying your feelings. Loving someone was hard and loving someone who has a job like you and him was even harder, especially when you both don't know when you're going to die in war. Maybe today the two of you still talk to each other normally, the next day the only thing left behind was a dog tag on the battlefield. It makes you afraid of opening for a new relationship.

Does someone like you deserve to be loved? You don’t know, maybe your father was right, maybe you didn’t deserve to be loved.

Pushing the feelings down is the only way to forget what he has done to you and the feelings you shouldn't have in order to maintain the relationship of a Lieutenant and a Sergeant.

"C/n, you good? You're awfully quiet today."

The voice just snaps you out of your thoughts, your hand still holding two cups of coffee, the warm hand still on your back to close off your distance between you and Ghost. "It's nothing, I just got tired, that's all." You gave him a smile. "Got something in your mind?" he asked, eyes still on the figure next to him. "Nah, maybe a bunch of numbers I counted just to go back to sleep." You lied but it seemed like it worked when you heard him chuckle.

Handing him the cup of coffee you just made, while taking a sip of your cup. "Here's your coffee." You looked at him. "Thanks" He takes a sip of the cup then takes his hand off your back. You kinda miss that warmth.

"No problem." You smile at him.

Other silence covers the room. "I'll be in my room if you need me anything." "Alright, see you at the training." You added, all you got back was the nod from the skull mask guy. Watching him walk out the kitchen, left you alone enjoying your coffee. Just when you think you're alone, a voice comes up.

"Enjoying morning coffee together?" Soap chuckled at the figure taking a sip of the cup. You didn't know Soap would get up this early in the morning so the first you greeted him was startled, again. "Gosh, you and Ghost are always startling me." You scolded at Soap. "Why me? you two always hang out with each other." He chuckled while checking on the refrigerator to look for some food. Feeling comfortable in each other's presence until..

"Everyone starts thinking you two were dating." He looks at you, closing the refrigerator after finding nothing inside. "Really? I thought these rumors already started a few months ago." You said while laughing a bit. "Yes it does, but you two can make the rumors come true tho." the Scottish teased. "I don't think so. If he does, it's just a temporary feeling or he might just be confused." You denied even though there is a smile on your face, stare down the cup that almost got empty.

"You do know that he already passed that kind of age, right?" He sighed. "Yes, I'm just looking for an excuse, am I..?" You blurted, feeling dumb for using that excuse to defend your feelings about him. "Yes, you are. And that's the dumbest excuse I have ever heard of." the other man laughed which made you embarrassed about it. Knowing you can't be denied anymore.

"Alright alright, I know you have feelings for Ghost. You don't have to hide it." Soap responded after laughing for a while. "What, how did you know?" You look at the Scottish man with a confused face. “Maybe the other didn’t notice but I saw the way you two look at each other. It's kinda obvious, C/n.” He said “And I might have asked your friend Tobas about how you feel with Ghost." He added. Goddamn it that fucker, always snitching on you "That fucker.." You mumbled. "But hey! Maybe you can ask him out for some drink." looking at the other figure putting down the cup on the counter.

"Don't know, mate. He might rejected me." You then turn around and wash the cup you just made coffee out of. "C'mon, I know him. I bet he won't turn down that sweet offer of yours." Soap pat on your shoulder and chuckled. While you're trying to wash the damn cup. "I'll consider it." You said jokingly "That's our mate!" he nudged your shoulder with a laugh. You just stand there, drying your hand. 

"Let's see how it goes, well I'll better get ready for the training. See ya later, Sergeant L/n." All you did was give him nod and the Scottish man left you with chuckled, walked out of the kitchen and leaving you alone. Again.

It's already five, still early for training so might as well get ready. Walking out of the kitchen to your room, knowing what you should do in the morning and Soap advice about Ghost making you more nervous then ever.

Until then, you need to do something with that fucker Tobas for snitching on you.

Let's see how it goes then.

To be continued..

[bruhhhh-huhhhhh]

Seeing you put up your new masterlists has me so excited for whatever fics end up on them!

Any chance I could get some headcanons for DBD Wesker having a fondness for a survivor!reader? He gives me brainrot in the worst ways.

Literally same Finn. Literally same. And thank you :D I love this man with my whole soul.

DBD!Wesker x Survivor!Reader

Oh you poor, poor child. Getting Wesker's attention is usually a bad thing. Even if it's a good thing, he isn't great at expressing the fact that he doesn't want to kill you. Probably.

He probably kills everyone else in trials while, while making sure that you're unharmed, and lets you go. Most of the time, at least. Sometimes, if you've been a particular pain in his ass, he'll put you in the dying state and carry you around. If you don't wiggle, Wesker will take you to the hatch or exit gate and let you go, but if you do wiggle he'll just shake his head and hook you.

ANYWAYSSSSS one of these days he'll actually confess. It'll be outside of a trial, preferably with you separated from the other survivors.

When I say separated, I mean he asked the entity to teleport you to RPD so that he could talk to you. A little spooky, yeah, but he can't risk anyone ruining the little thing you guys got going on.

He basically just tells you that you're always on his mind and to stop doing that because it's impeding his on his ability to kill your friends. RIP

You have to explain to him that you can't control it and that his feelings are most definitely reciprocated. Silly little blonde man who can and will snap my neck

Anywho it takes a bit but you two are kinda sorta dating? I guess? It's more like he kidnaps you during/after trails and cuddles with you (if you're comfortable with it) or just doing work with you in his lap.

If anyone ever gives you any sort of shit (survivor or killer, he doesn't care) he'll make sure that they're... taken care of.

He has warned all killers not to hurt you, and ever since he whooped The Hag's ass for mori-ing you, they all listen.

Mostly

Anyways that's all I got, I hope you enjoyed? Maybe? IDK

[ike9306]

max you're literally so amazing but i have no clue what tf you're talking about half the time i need it explained to me like im five (/hj)

Hehehehehehe I'm glad you asked :3

So ! The TCFAD series first. You already know that one, it's the Parting Gift series I'm currently writing. The rest of the fics are coming. I'm just slow to write.

But yeah, kinda works for a character study cus it very much explores Jon's psyche after his kidnapping and his Circus trauma, with the added bonus of bringing Tim into the mix and being a sorta fix it (lie).

And that fits the 100k words well. Fic one was 12.5k words. Fic two is well on its way to be at least 20-30k, and fic 3 will be at least 20k, so... that's already a lot. And there's still the maybe fic 4 that I need to decide if I can make it viable. If I do, it'll likely be a 50k words one so. Def checks out there, lol.

The TMIAATTTMG AU is the JonGerry Friendship one I talked about on Discord a while ago ! The one I made a Jom design for over here.

The narrative is non-linear, exploring both the Assistants in 2015, discovering what the hell is going on, and Jon and Gerry in 2011 as Jon's promotion as Archival Assistant for Gertrude proves to be. Something for sure.

Definitely going to be a very long fic, though I'm not sure about the word count yet. And very much character study in the divergence.

Finally, the Nightfields Wake AU ! Full name of this baby is Somewhere Else : Nightfields Wake.

In this, we follow 15 years old ADHD child Jonathan Sims as he and his adopted siblings prove that their calm little town is, in fact, a cover-up for multiple cults. And their adoptive dad is the leader of one. And, apparently, he wanted to sacrifice three of them to make Jon into his messiah. What a mess.

A very comedic and absurd tone for that one, although there is some good angst at some point. The subtext is important, though. Also a long AU, we cover the whole series in this setting, so strap on for a wild one.

I can share snips of all three AUs if you want btw. Just Ask (preferably on the other account though cuz this one isn't much for TMA stuff).

Anyway, that's all for now :)

You can choose to kick my ass so I write one of them (not all three at once, though cuz I already have the AA crossover and my Project for school lol)

[deathofacupid]

I love ur clay Jensen work please it’s so fucking good 😭🫶🏼

Could I get a clay Jensen with a depressed reader ? Like she has a traumatic past and it gets triggered because liberty Highschool is never peaceful and clay basically comforts her? If you see this THANKS 😻🫶🏼

it'll get better | clay jensen

a/n: thanks for the req! i was in a huge writing spunk, and this got me out of it. also, i'm sorry this took so long! summary: liberty is a hard place to be in, but it's a little less hard when clay is there. warning: thoughts/mentions of su1c1de, depression, and death. overall, all thirteen reasons why warnings apply here. please don't read this if you aren't comfortable with this fic's contents, and you if, by and means, get triggered, don't hesitate to reach out to me! pairing: depressed!reader x clay jensen (no established relationship, but take it as you will!) word count: 1.1k+ words

you press the palms of your hands into your eyes, hard enough that you see colorful spots. outside, on the back stairs of the school, you finally feel like you're getting a break. like the whole world isn't yelling at you, isn't taunting or shaming.

you're so tired of your mind constantly reeling, and dumb kids, and the horrible, horrible thoughts. so tired of hearing her story over and over and over again. even if it's so selfish for you to think like that, you wish someone, anyone would look past it and take a break from her.

from the very second you stepped into this school, you've been surrounded by pain, and death, and- and it never stops. why does it never stop?

is it just you? are you the only one who can't stand hearing more? seeing more? living more?

first, it was jeff. and then hannah. then bryce. then monty. and you can't help but feel like it'll get worse, and worse, and never better. you hate that everyone's leaving, even if they're people you don't care about.

and you're sick of it. you're tired. and god, it's not the kind that sleep can fixed, because you've tried. you've tried sleeping more. too much, really, but then you drown in nightmares.

and after the nightmares, it's not like you can go back to sleeping. and you don't meaning going back to sleep after an hour, no, not at all.

you mean days. you mean weeks. you mean months.

people die, and die, and die, and they only mourn for days, it feels like, and then the horrid, horrid jokes begin.

you wouldn't even be able to die in peace, knowing that they'd ridicule you.

no, no, no, you don't want to be a spectacle. you just want... to rest, indefinitely. why is it so hard to do that?

no, hannah wasn't a coward.

she was brave.

and you never knew her, but you knew her. you knew her in the way no one else might ever, because you are her. in a sad, sad way.

and you never knew her, but it still hurt. it hurt because you knew she was good. she was joy, at least for everyone else.

and you never knew her, but you knew clay. and you knew clay saw that joy.

and you never knew her, but it broke something in you.

you can faintly hear the sounds of the creak back door opening, despite the loud beating of your heart in your chest. there's some shuffling of sneakers on the grainy concrete, and you hear someone take a seat beside you.

you don't feel like looking up. maybe if you don't acknowledge their existence, they won't actually be there. right? a soft voice goes, "hey."

it's clay. you know it's clay. you can tell by the quiet, yet worried, lilt in his voice.

"hi," you mumble back, face still buried in your knees, which are pulled into your chest.

his uncanny awkwardness suffocates you more than anything else, (un?)surprisingly.

"are- are you okay?" he tries.

"yes." it's a mumbled, half-assed reply.

"are you sure?"

"yes."

it's quiet for a beat. then he throws you for a curve when he wraps an arm around you, pulling you close. he's warm and soft, and he smells like... tire grease?

what would he be smelling like tire grease for? was he at tony's? tony's garage, you mean? when would he have had time to be there? had he been skipping class, too? did he only just get back? but he came from inside, didn't he?

with clay, you should be used to having an plethora of questions, and tiny, quarter-built ant pile of answers.

you should be.

doesn't mean you are.

you would ask, but you're trying to avoid anything hannah-related. tony is definitely hannah-related. clay is hannah-related, too, but that's different. you could be by clay's side forever, and you wouldn't get sick of it.

it's really nice, just the two of you, pressed against each other in the cool autumn air. it's nice enough that you almost forget.

but you don't. you can't, not really. not when it's so predominant over anything else. that's what liberty high is. a place where all the bad things overpower the good ones.

when people think of liberty high, they think of death.

they think of unfortunate accidents. they think of suicide. they think of murder. they think of violence and violation.

and god, don't even get started on the tapes.

you hate the tapes. you hate the tapes more than you hate yourself, or more than you hate this terrible place. you hate the tapes more than you hate bryce, or monty, or any of those kids. more than you hate jessica, or alex, or tyler, or tony, or zach, or ryan, or skye, or chloe, or ani, or sheri, or courtney, or winston, or diego, or marcus, or cyrus.

and yes, you hate them, and yes, you know some of them don't deserve that, but no, you can't help it.

and you can't even just leave, because this will follow you around for the rest of your life and you'll never know what you did know - or maybe you did know.

and what truly, really sucks is that no matter where you go, all this follows you around. you've been surrounded by pain and hurt, and it never seems to get any better.

but if you told anyone any of this, they'd send you to a shitty ward, and that'd be it. and all your thoughts just keep going like this, around and around, like a twisted merry-go-round that keeps getting faster and faster. or like a spiral that never ends, but just gets tighter and tighter. and you don't even know if anything—

"will it ever get better?" you ask, a sort of shakiness in your voice.

"i don't know," he admits. "can it really get worse?"

it's rhetorical and you know it, but you answer anyways. "probably."

he then decides to change his answer. "it'll get better. it has to."

you hum, doubtful. he continues, "the way we treat each other. and the people who haven't been doing that right, they'll get outed. i know they will."

"how? what about the trial? remember that?" it's not supposed to be snarky, it's really just a genuine question.

"yeah. but he didn't really win. bryce got murdered. he got what he deserved." it's blunt, and you can't help but wince.

"what about the others? who hurt hannah?"

"they owned up to it, didn't they? they're okay with coming out with the truth, because they know what they did was wrong. bryce didn't. he took his win with stride, as if it was privilege."

"owning up or not, it doesn't change they fact that she'd dead," you murmur.

he's quiet again. "i guess not. but at least it won't happen again."

you think about yourself for a moment. "how do you know?"

"i don't. i just hope. because the better we get, the better things will get. there's always a reason to live. you just... have to look."

and so you do. you lift your head, and clay turns to face you. right into his deep eyes, and you know behind the demeanor he holds, they're full of love and compassion.

you look, and you see.

"okay," you say finally.

because maybe he's right. maybe things will get better. because you aren't alone, maybe not really.

and maybe you're allowed to acknowledge that it won't get better in just a day. or a week. or a month.

but there's a little bit of hope that it will get better.

and you have clay there with you. you trust him. you know there's truth in what he's saying. you know he'd never lie to you.

that being said, it'll get better.