#maybe it was meant to be ?????? i did NOOOT feel it at all

[variousqueerthings]

Okay, well, what would you prefer then? The Dustmen?

Sleep No More! this season's dedicated spooky episode. I feel like I ought to have vibed more with this one than I did and I dunno why it didn't work with me that well. maybe I powered through s9 too quickly (EDIT: I have now analysed why it didn't work so well for me, ey!)

also: is this the first out trans actor we've had on this show? definitely some things to say about that

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 10/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored, or given agency to her emotional interiority): 4/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 6/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 3/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 3/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 9/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 6/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 10/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 6/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 4/10

FULL RATING: 61/100 (if I can count….)

ok ok let's get into it!

OBJECTIFICATION: see, cured!

PLOT-POINT: I mean, it's a standalone episode that doesn't do much beyond the episode itself, so it doesn't really need to give Clara much development. still, I think in a season in which Clara doesn't have many emotional beats, considering what's coming up in the very next episode... I'd have liked something perhaps

COMPLEXITY: it's complexity lies in its structure and I am nooot convinced by it. there's nothing wrong as such with found footage, but it feels gimmicky very fast, and I think there should have been more done with the fact that the dust was "watching" them

the fact that it's basically the beats of a low-budget horror should have meant I vibed with it more, but I think because in the end a lot of it is just running from place to place while going "whaat is even happening here" makes it feel a bit thin

also the ending is probably an "either you like it or you don't" type ending, so I have nothing against it as such. I think the single-episode characters were thinner than a lot of the other ones we've seen throughout the years, which is kind of a shame, because there is some interesting Stuff to dig into with the wider world they inhabit (which we'll get to) but these are all -- with the exception of Nagata I think -- relatively threadbare. this might also be a feeling arising from the other episodes being two-parters, so we got more time with the "under the lake" gang idk. but maybe actually that's why I'm judging it a bit harsher -- this is a concept I've seen before a few times, done better

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: nothing much here either, although there is a delightful little exchange between Clara and the Doctor right at the beginning that goes like this --

CLARA: Looks like a Japanese restaurant. Oh! Have you brought me to a space restaurant? DOCTOR: People never do that, you know? CLARA: Do what? DOCTOR: They never put the word space in front of something just because everything's all sort of hi-tech and future-y. It's never space restaurant or space champagne or space, you know, hat. It's just restaurant, champagne or hat. Even if this was a restaurant. CLARA: What about spacesuit? DOCTOR: Pedant.

I just think that gives me more on them as characters than often exists in their episodes together, which often feel like they go so fast and are so specific to Plot things, that I've often struggled to engage with their dynamic as ostensibly good friends. this was actually something I highlighted in "the girl who died" which was the way everything with them was constantly framed around danger and high stakes and how that takes me out of understanding what draws Clara to travelling, and this is a little counterpoint to that

COMPANIONS MATTER: ehhhh not really from my memory. she's there.

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: the Doctor just fully runs around like a headless chicken in this one. no that's not fair, he solves most of the puzzle. crucially not the really important piece at the end though, but I'd assume that happened offscreen, as the implications of that ending have never been brought up again on this show to my knowledge

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: couple of tiny references. actually it's more of a big send-up to league of gentlemen, considering Gatiss wrote it and Shearsmith plays the main bad guy

“SEXINESS”: again, cured!

INTERNAL WORLD: I think if this had had more world-building and less attempts at being a PG horror movie it might have been more horrifying actually, because the implications are already horrifying enough. but yeah, this, because of the characters, is quite a thinly built world, made all the more noticeable because the ideas within it are kind of compelling as heck and I do want to know more!

POLITICS: there's a couple of things in this, the first and more intentional of which is it brings up some good horrific capitalist world-building, and I wiiish whatever the story was was actually more about that. I mean, actually there's a really good TV concept on its own in it, that this episode didn't have the time or focus or ability to tell, because it's Doctor Who, we're not spending a season dwelling on the implications of functionally removing sleep from people, but ooooh I'd be interested in a story that did!

the other thing is that this has the somewhat dubious honour of featuring the first ever out trans actor in a lead role, played by Bethany Black, and... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I mean. I mean. she's a vat-grown grunt referred to with "it" pronouns (and not, I get the sense, because of personal choice, if personal choice came into this in the first place), who "cannot speak properly" because these "grunts" are frequently not... bred well enough? there's a loooot of episodes on Doctor Who that are about personhood and respecting that, and this... is not one of those episodes. 474 is never a focus of the Doctor in this episode, and in fact relatively early on both (she?) and this cis guy who frequently insults her the most (whom she is in love with???) are separated from the others. she then sacrifices herself for this guy, but it doesn't really matter because he's killed anyway shortly afterwards

it's just kinda messy and badly thought-out, but Bethany Black is great, and we know it's going to get better at some point. I want to make a point though as well that Bethany is fat and was in her 30s during this episode I think, and her character is presented in a relatively genderless way and smeared with camouflage paint or oil or smthin (and again, referred to with "it" pronouns), so I don't think a lot of people casually watching would have noticed that this character was a woman (if indeed, the episode understood that), in the sense that obviously trans people should get to play everyone and not "just" have to be prettified in order to be allowed onscreen, but it's a shame we couldn't see a fat trans woman being respected as a woman in this story, or youknow... get to assert her personhood, considering this is Doctor Who, and I hope that the wonderful onscreen transness we're getting will not be equated with thinness and youth exclusively in the future

but like, they could fully bring Bethany Black back as another character and I don't think people would recognise her as having been on the show before, so... do it cowards. you did it with fuckn Capaldi and Gillan and Cribbins and and and...

FULL RATING: 61/100 (if I can count….)

so I did actually check what the feedback to this episode was, and apparently at the time it was the lowest rated episode apart from Love & Monsters, which if anyone has been on this blog for a bit, you know I'm so into that episode. and I think that's worthy of a little comparison, because the thing about Love & Monsters is that while it is a bit gimmicky in format and to the left of a traditional episode, it does all of this in service to something. it's about specific people who exist in the sphere of the Doctor's influence, and that in turn explores a tertiary character (Jackie) who herself occupies a difficult space in this universe. it is, fundamentally, a very very human, softly tragic tale that builds up ideas that we'll return to many times over the course of the show

this episode does not have that. it's characters aren't very fleshed out, its world-building is shallow, and its purpose as the episode before a Very Important Episode seems to be to just. be there. and I think that's its fundamental weakness. if this were in another season, and given some tightening here and there to give it some kind of focus (my preference would be on giving some emotional insights on the Doctor and whoever the Companion is and/or making this very much about the single-episode characters For A Purpose, with the Doctor and Companion taking a backseat) I would have liked it better

as it is I don't dislike it, it's just oddly situated and relatively forgettable to me. Bethany Black should come back though

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

Finally back at it, at least for a couple of minutes lol

Ooh a house

AHHH (awh not aah) yeah y'all :D

Hi Bobby 🥰

Hi Athena :DD

Hmm I would assume she's not sure about new houses

Okay okay a lot of bonuses!

It must be rough :((

Athena does have points buuut

Okay yeah some points from Athena :D

Ooh yeah cooking together could be nice 🥰

I mean yeah of course it doesn't honey :(!

Though I will agree it's not really y'all

A bit too bougie xdd

Y'all will find it <33 🥰

Ugh her again 🙄

Hi Hen :))!!

Wow I hate her :D

I get that she's grieving but GIRLY

IT AIN'T ABOUT YOU!! IK POLITICIANS SUCK HUT YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO!!

Also uhh. Get some perspective?? Not their fault

Excuuuse me??

Girl 😑😑

Hi Chimney :D!

Gosh xdd

Oope?

Hmm is it about that or firing people lol

They're like ". . do we do it, orrr not?"

Buck looks so done with that posture xD so real

Real lol, gotta agree with him on that one

Though he is the reason so yk

Oop Chim?

The public, I presume you'll say

SLFJGHDKS

ICON

Lol I love him xD

Maybe not the best stay under the radar choice but idc lol

SLFJDKHS the specific who xD crazy

Yep the public

Lol I guess?

Hi Eddie :D!!

Ookaayyy so what are these

HUH

I mean body cams of city employees are great and all but. I feel like this will not be used in a good way xdd

Certainly not good for y'all with Gerrard 😬

Oh gosh xdd

Well at least it's buy it not get fired for it lol

This is gonna go greaaat

Ope hi football game :D

Nice nice

Is that the coach lol? She really into it

AWWW it's his mom, I love that :DDD

Aww that sucks :((

I'm sorry kid D:

Wes I think

That's just rough man :(((

What I'm wondering is where is this that the football game is happening while it's light out

I know it's California but like xD. 7 pm lol??

Idkkk lol

Ope-

OOP OH GOSH

OH NO

That does noooot look good O.O

Uh ohhh-

Imagine if his dad was the mascot lol

That poor mom D:

OH GOSH his legs o.o

Yeah that does nooot look good honey 😬😬

And I bet they're like backwards too, like outwards

Ahh Weston I see

OH GOSH THAT POOR BOY

OH MY GOSH

Hi Maddie's voice :D xd

Accurate description 😳

Hey y'alllll

Glad you're here xdd

When I said backwards I meant like turned out not literally outwards o.o

Yugh but y'all will live

Is that the most important thing to be talking about right now bestie lol

Yeah fair dude 😭

Okay okay- gosh 😬😳😭

Well at least you've seen it xd

Ahh gosh 😬😬 D: that's awful, but at least Eddie has experience

Gosh :((( okay I hope he's okay

Nice nice

Maybe don't worry him about that right now o.o I of course understand why she'd ask though xdd

Okay cool :D

Okay good good got him up

Niiice-

C'mon please, I bet he cannn-

PHEW YAYY that's good :'D

Aaand- WHOOO NICE

Oh no will something go wrong here 😬😬

Phew 😭😭❤️

I just feel like something's gonna go wrong xdd

Maybe he'll move or somehow his dad will rush in and move him idk

Okay chill-

Oooop he doesn't want that o.o I mean I can see why but-

CRAPPP

OHHH NOO

Yeah I think they can tell Eddie xd I'm joking but lol

C'mon c'mon hurry D:

I just know some time soon these body cams are gonna interfere

Ohhh noo 😬😬

Crappp that's way too long

Maybe that'll get you in trouble 😳

Uh ohhh- what's that o.o

THAT DOESN'T SEEM GOOD

Well at least there's that O.O

Ohh noo- did he lose them both 😳

Hey we'll, 50/50 xdd

Gosh

Okay okayyy

Careful guys 😭😭 I know they will be but xdd

Okayy okayyyy

Crappp 😬

He's doing the best he can guys idk if it'll get much better 😭

Why am I closing my eyes tension lol (emphasis on the me stuff lol)

Oope- OKAY PHEW :'D

THAT WAS THE EASY PART??!

Ohhh gosh

Okayy okayy

Yeah makes sense 😭😬

. . . 😬

PHEW!!!

Oh thank goodness 😭

That kind of feels less convenient because now he can panic or accidentally move but yk it'll work xdd

Thank goodness

:'OO

AWWW

POOR EDDIEEE 😭😭😭 THAT MUST HURT LIKE A S T A B WOUND MY GOSH 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺💔

I'm glad he can be there for that kid though :'))

I remember his name it just feels awkward to use it, but sure Weston lol

PHEW they made it 😭😭😌❤️

Yeah ik it's crazy o.o don't worry he's got experience xD

Y'all better not get in trouble for thaattttt

Okay phew

Aww I'm glad she's there for him :'))

Of course honey, they've got you

Awww Eddie :'(((

Is she gonna tell him what happened :((?

AWW yeah exactly that 😭😭🥺💔❤️

Much more succinct way of saying it xD, though I'm sure she explained the whole thing later lol

[tottymatsuno]

Hand me downs - no tws. Fluff

Your wife - wow, even just thinking the word sends a shiver down your spine, but your wife sits at the end of the bed with her back turned to you. Her silhouette is disappointed, her sigh soft in the evening air, the sunset dyeing her dark brown hair orange in the fading light.

You can’t help but lean against the door frame, just a little…but since she’s so pretty, you end up undershooting how far the frame was, and stumbling into the room.

“Huh?!” This is when Todomi notices you, and when she leaps up to her feet in order to help you despite not falling.

“Are you okay?!” She asks. Your ego is bruised, and you’re embarrassed but can’t wipe the smile off your face even if you tried.

Todomi is the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen. She’s not wearing make up right now, is she? She smells so good up close too…you feel insane, but you get lost in her large, and all too sweet brown eyes.

“You’ve got to stop with all of this puppylove routine! It’s getting embarrassing, y’know.”

You nod your head, nearly wagging your tail. “I’m serious, you’re an adult well past twenty. It’s time to grow up a bit.” You aren’t listening to her at all, instead the sound of her voice turns to music in your ears.

The less you listen, and nod, the more animated Todomi gets when scolding you, until eventually you hear, “Did you even hear a word that I just said?!” With her fingers pinching your cheeks gently.

She stretches, pulls, then eventually gives you several cute pecks on the lips after punishing you sufficiently.

“Geez, what am I going to do with you?”

“Love me a little bit more?” You receive pets on the head for that, which you knew she would like. You’re very devilish in that way, manipulating your wife to play right into your hands.

“Anyways, you still never told me what you think.” Todomi was sad when you walked into the room, wasn’t she? But about what… you look over to the fallen clothes on the floor.

Her mother and friends have been giving her hand me downs lately, haven’t they? So far, Totoko has been unloading a lot of the dresses she thought were ugly, or clothes she meant to return but didn’t. Matsuyo has gifted her only daughter about thirty pairs of the same canary shirt, all stained or otherwise tattered.

The burgundy cardigan that belonged to Hashimoto Nyaa lies at the foot of the bed, with patched up rips.

“Well…maybe I could give you some of my clothes?” You suggest, “They probably would have to fit oversized, but I know that’s in style right now!”

Your wife’s expression is so bright it’s like the sun stopped setting at all, and has made her way into your marital bedroom to shine for just the two of you.

“You’d do something so nice for me?!” You nod, and Todomi pecks your cheeks a million times before running to the closet.

“Can I have this?“ Todomi holds up a skirt.

“Ahh, why noot!” You swoon.

“And this?” She asks once again holding up another skirt.

“Ahh, why nooot!” You say in the exact same voice Todomi used when she used to take you on shopping sprees.

“What about this?” Her voice is slightly more skeptical.

“Ahh, why nooot!” You continue to swoon. “Oi. Be serious!!”

You nod, you’ll say no to the next thing.

Todomi digs longer, tossing out many articles of clothing onto the ground until finally she retrieves a pink circle dress, “Can I have this?!” She shouts excitedly.

“No.” You tell her as seriously as possible. “Say yes.”

You melt, “Ahhh, why nooott!!”

Todomi puts her hands on her hips, and waggles her finger at you with a smirk, “That’s my good girl, always remember to listen to me, okay?” You nod.

With that, Todomi begins putting on the huge dress onto her petite frame, looking down on herself quite critically. She pinches the fabric in a few places, then gives the dress an experimental twirl. Then she rocks her hips from left to right, and back again.

Finally, Todomi announces, “I’ll take just this!”

“You can have everything you want though!”

She opens her mouth, clearly biting back a comment, before tilting her head in thought. Todomi presses her thumb and index finger to her chin, and then with an exaggerated aha! Expression, she looks at you with a sly smile.

“Can I really?”

“Yes, of course anything for you my love! I’ll give you whatever you want! My kidneys, a house, a car, someone elses car, someone else’s kidneys, a baby, I’ll commit insurance fraud in your honor, perjury, treason - murder! I can kill for you!”

Todomi shakes her head, “Usually I would yell about how none of that is necessary, but maybe I’ll take you up on that last one in the future.”

You want her so bad it makes you look stupid.

“I want you so bad it makes me look stupid.”

Todomi sighs, “You really are just the cutest in the world. I almost lost my nerve because of that.”

Just as you’re about to ask what could she have lost her nerve over, Todomi motions with her finger to come here. You bounce over to your wife, because she’s sooo pretty!

“I can’t believe I was worried you were going to leave me if I transitioned.” She mutters under her breath.

Once you’re close to her, Todomi kisses you gently. It’s your favorite thing in the world too, since she’s always sooo gentle in the beginning.

Todomi’s biggest weapon is luring you into a false sense of security, and soon enough with all the kissing and touching she’s doing, Todomi will once again have your back on the bed.

You close your eyes, and the next time you open then, it’s when you hear your wife tell you, “Wouldn’t it be so cute of me if I fucked you in your hand-me downs?”

You nod your head up and down again, “Hmm…but I might get it all dirty if I do,”

“Ahh, why noot?” Todomi gives you the sort of grin that makes you realize 100% that this was her intention from the very start - to fuck you in your own dress.

She kisses you again, before whispering on your lips, “Really, what am I going to do with you?”

Alright im gonna write and post trans totty content. Good night.

[xingqiusleftearring]

STOPP what is peoples problem w suzume that was legitimately one of the best movies ive ever watched

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-06

♪ HS2 HS2 is baaaaack ♪

♪ HS2bloggin here we gooooo ♪

♪ Structural changes on their team but I don’t caaaaare ♪

♪ Already resooolved myself that its NOOOT gonna beee as good ♪ with inattentiveness to details characters like Terezi forgetting-what-they-used-to-know and an obsession with dwelling on traaageeeDEEE without relief-or-considering how weee’d feeeeeeel~ ♪♪♪ --so just gonna enjoy-what-i-caaaaaan about iiit~ ♪♪♪

Okay time for bankruptcy

> CHAPTER 11. History's Most Notorious Haters

Let’s see how effectively my perky new lowered-expectations attitude lets me enjoy this comic  *click*

wut

Oh.  so is this Dave drawing comics about current events or Regular Calliope doing so for our very first lanky look at her presumably-grown-up-more cherub form

> Knight: Keep it real.

HOLY SHIT IT’S DAVEBOT AND ARADIA

so we just get to SEE them?!  just like that???  no buildup or anything?  :D

Okay I’m marking out a little that’s a good sign.  Also what a nerdy cop-out to turn the roboteyes into glasses that’s barely passable which is perfect, the rest of his outfit looks pretty cool tho

DAVEBOT: and thats reason four hundred nineteen why despite my mans many accomplishments i will never acknowledge big skateboardings contrived message that tony hawk is the quintessential skater of our generation ARADIA: o_o DAVEBOT: not in these trying times

Good to see Ultimate Dave is being true to form with regards to the core of his personality

DAVEBOT: beep boop ARADIA: i have told you several times that i was a robot before and i know for a fact you dont have to say beep boop DAVEBOT: hm that sounds fake does not compute ARADIA: david DAVEBOT: mom

I was with this conversation until the last two lines what the fuck

(I’m reading into it aren’t I, Aradia was trying to be atypically proper -- even though she wouldn’t have the frame of reference to know without being specifically told that “Dave” was considered nickname shorthand for the human name David, and thus if she DID know there’s no reason she’d use it except to troll him -- and Dave’s just mocking her response.  Without any shame about his continued weirdness of calling people Mom, and by without any shame I mean he made the choice EXPLICITLY to intentionally evoke the awkwardness.  Wow I got a lot out of two lines.)

(Oh, also alt!Callie’s true Jade-body incarnation here probably prompted her to start using “David” by example.  There, various mysteries solved via a pile of assumptions probably to be disproven in the next couple lines I read.)

The Knight and the Maid stare at each other briefly, having exchanged enough meaningful glances over their time together to know when to drop it.

Would Time players have an easier time gelling this way, like this particular smoothness?  Dropping it just before it gets weird or excessively irritating?

(Overclasspecting)

ARADIA: i think we have exchanged enough meaningful glances over our time together to know when to drop this DAVEBOT: what i enjoy about our conversations is that you just say things like that

OKAY I SNRK’D AT THAT.  That was funny.

Initially.  And now I’m concerned whether Aradia is being controlled by the narrative-speak, or whether they’re both just humorously referencing the meta-text they can both see, or--

ARADIA: oh is that what you enjoy ARADIA: well we are both an infinite number of years old living countless lifetimes at once but thats no reason to waste any of our...

WHAT??!?  She’s an Ultimate Self too?!?

Um, okay!  Yeah!  So they’re BOTH just riffing on the narrative then.  But... why would Dave need a robot body to accommodate his Ultimate Psyche without getting sick but Rose not need it?  I can understand Dirk not needing it because the merging of the full breadth of his multiversal individuality gels well with him being a God of the aspect governing the power of his multiversal individuality, but Aradia?

Were the robot bodies not necessary after all, and the sickness Rose suffered and Obama thought Dave would have suffered some sort of ruse?  Are there shenanigans afoot?  (Or are we going with the “troll biology is better” cop-out?)

She knows how this will play out, having undoubtedly tried this joke on her friend in some timeline or another. Their rapport reflects a unique combination of their matching aspects but greatly differing classes. One a passive but powerful servant to time, the other wielding the aspect like a honed blade.

WH

WHAT????

PASSIVE SERVANT OF THE ASPECT?!? WHAT THE FUCK

Okay if that means anything like it sounds like I guess my class chart is finally blown up, sure, they only waited (*checks last edit date*) SEVEN AND A HALF YEARS TO BLOW THAT GUESS UP, SURE

Wow.  Okay, I feel some obligation to jump to conclusions and say the whole class chart is wrong, but let me stay strapped in to see if “passive” is as literal as one would expect alt!Callie to mean, or it just means “an active class passive compared to other classes”.  And, serving the aspect?  Oh dammit, now people are gonna come at me advocating a Maid / Page dichotomy about actively serving the aspect versus allowing the aspect to be served... or Page / Maid even, jesus

I wish I had enough energy to have those chats anymore.  I’d rather hold on and see the whole ridiculous chart scheme they have in mind... which is definitely (and hopefully) the one Andrew really drew up at the time and not made up by the staff, even if it throws away plenty of my old work...  I’ll just stop thinking about it and keep reading.

...

--no, I don’t think I can just stop thinking about it yet.  Dammit, brain.

So um.  Maids serving their aspect.  There was a whole “Maids serve” thing going on throughout the whole plot of Homestuck, but despite how prevalent it was, I wrote it off as the story riffing on the classical definition of Maid when the actual stuff Maids accomplished was something different and more specific, just like Knights constantly got riffed on for chivalry and the like.  Furthermore, service seemed like a really shitty class definition, when class definitions are the verbs one uses to interact with reality through Aspects to change the way reality unfolds, and “serving” isn’t really an action that results in change, implying a distinct deficit of agency that I wouldn’t have viewed as fair.  (Especially since you originally think “meant to serve others” and not “meant to serve the aspect”, implying even LESS agency.)  Furthermore, MOST passive classes from their descriptions seem to have a propensity to act “as if by the will of the aspect”, so even with the nuance of “serving the aspect”, devoting an entire class verb to service would just step on the territory of other active/passive class pairs’ passive sides, right?

But... IF we were to take this for granted as what it SEEMS... then concentrating on that angle of “serving the aspect” implies a whole lot more agency than a service class might sound on its surface.  The definition fits with the story better once you contextualize all the Maid-y references to service around Jane, for instance, with the additional idea of “serving Life” by baking prolifically and creating more of its symbols in food and--

--fuck.  “Serving”, like serving to others.  Serving the aspect as its attendant AND serving it out to others that need it.  Maybe this still IS part of the Additive class pair!  Whoa.  :O

Okay okay so, what I/we thought before was:

Create/Add - Maid / Sylph

Destroy/Reduce - Prince / Bard

But “additive” really isn’t an elegant verb compared to the “Destroyer” classes, so... could it be the “Servants” and the “Destroyers”?  Like Maids cleaning up and healing the broken wreckage strewn through the halls by a bratty Prince’s tantrum???

It’d certainly be weird... and it’d CERTAINLY be a wild twist where I was partially wrong in some fascinating ways but not entirely off base?

One a passive but powerful servant to time, the other wielding the aspect like a honed blade.

And yet, I can’t bet on this being the situation yet; not at all.  First, it relies on the idea that alt!Callie’s explicit narrative here is slightly misleading, which would be a pretty extreme thing to commit to, even for a technical truth like “she was saying it was passive relative to other classes even though it’s technically “active””.  Second... it would mean that Muses are even more wildly defined than the previous insinuation of hers, that the Sylph -- what we thought was the passive additive class -- was not enough like a Muse compared to a Witch.  Muses not being that Additive?  I could grudgingly understand that, but Muses not being anything like passive Servants?!  That would be EXTREMELY weird!

So... there’s not a whole lot of chance that I’m not dramatically wrong somewhere about these classes!  In a way that throws the entire chart into disarray!

I’m... oddly excited?  Huh.

That’s a pretty nice surprise that I actually feel that way.

:)

(Don’t hit me up all at once to discuss this Classpect development over Discord, I’ll still need a few days without talking about Homestuck to recharge as usual.  Like... maybe wait and come at me as a group chat? So I’m not talking about the latest developments separately with everyone?  No that wouldn’t work, how about... guh I dunno, look my outlook’s a little more positive right now but dealing with Homestuck still takes emotional energy okay?)

Okay the rest of this page...

ARADIA: ... DAVEBOT: time then make a weird face ARADIA: ........ DAVEBOT: waste time DAVEBOT: time ARADIA:............. DAVEBOT: i experience all points of time simultaneously please just say time and make a weird face

This is true.

ARADIA: .................. DAVEBOT: cmon megido youre killing me clocks ticking ARADIA: ... ARADIA: time o_o

The Maid casts a furtive glance around the empty crew quarters, as though to search for someone more sympathetic to her bit.

ARADIA: tough crowd

Dorks.

> ==>

(Lazy fruit-throwing sword-training I won’t bother to screenshot but looks fun)

(I mean, really lazy looking, these people really don’t have Andrew’s knack for action composition that would make the same amount of gif-creation effort feel like a microcosm of the event they’re depicting, unfortunately.  Again, I don’t blame them; Andrew was just too good at it.)

DAVEBOT: ok heres one DAVEBOT: how old do you think you are ARADIA: emotionally? ARADIA: that is a pretty heavy topic DAVEBOT: you know damn well thats not what i meant ARADIA: you know I have been through a lot dave DAVEBOT: ok ARADIA: its just so kind of someone DAVEBOT: ok i get it ARADIA: to finally ask how i feel ARADIA: i am beside myself with emotions ARADIA: i want to open up DAVEBOT: jesus christ ARADIA: shall i open up about my past traumas to you ARADIA: would you enjoy that ARADIA: to think even a frog like me can work through their pain with a dear friend ARADIA: you have truly blessed me on this day dave strider

Is Aradia JUST trolling here or is her Ultimate Self grappling with a ton of real unresolved trauma too that she’s bullshitting around Dave-style?

DAVEBOT: times fun when youre having flies

Okay that’s a damned good frog pun.

Alright now Davebot’s rapping

DAVEBOT: lacking tact i stay stacked while i breach contract DAVEBOT: sacred vows disavowed got divorce fever DAVEBOT: i leave her DAVEBOT: dont look back dont perceive her ARADIA: do you want to talk about it :( DAVEBOT: about what ARADIA: would you say you are hung up on leaving your wife and friends behind

Goddamnit is DAVE’S ton of real unresolved trauma leaking into his raps unintentionally Dave-style??  I knew we had to address it when we cut to Davebot but how about LESS TRAGEDY IN THIS COMIC MAYBE

DAVEBOT: arent you even a little guilty about ditching your boyfriend ARADIA: what ARADIA: oh fuck

Wh

But she knew what she was doing when she did it she explicitly did it didn’t she?  Epilogues quote:

DAVEBOT: what about your boy DAVEBOT: eyepatches ARADIA: oh sollux is in one of his moods ARADIA: this was all getting to be a bit much for him ARADIA: if i go ill probably just cut him loose DAVEBOT: good move

And then they stepped through the sky hole more or less.  Did like, distracted Ultimate Aradia not realize exactly how long she was leaving Sollux for, ie forever?  Or did she “ascend” to Ultimate status later and hadn’t thought back to the full consequences of her actions within this timeline?  Or both?  From the looks of the link we’ll probably find out on the next pa--

--Wait.  Something else I just thought of, unrelated.

If Aradia is an Ultimate Self, that’s another coincidentally Ultimate version of someone hanging around that happens to be on the prospective list of Soul-Powered Jujus that might have their creation loops closed in the coming story.  Could those two things play into each other somehow?  Like instead of their souls getting stuffed into the items, their “Ultimateness” is?  Or as if that’s a necessary component, or...  no, I’m probably overthinking things.

> (Months in the past, but not many...)

Uh huh.  Is that flashing because he’s “watching” Aradia leave?  But I thought Aradia SAID she was leaving--

> (==>)

--and that black hole portal doesn’t look as cool as it sounded in the Epilogues.  But why was Aradia acting surprised, she said “I’ll probably just cut him loose” mere MOMENTS before entering the portal, did she mean “cut him loose” as in “I’m going to talk to him before leaving” and then just IMMEDIATELY forget that she didn’t say anything to him because she cared so little???

Wait.  Waaaait wait wait.  I think.  I think maybe I missed some subtext.  Lemme do some fuller quotes here:

ARADIA: oh sollux is in one of his moods ARADIA: this was all getting to be a bit much for him ARADIA: if i go ill probably just cut him loose DAVEBOT: good move

His gaze remains fixed on her. She blinks and looks away, unsure what to say next. He’s standing perfectly still, presumably waiting for her to say something. She met him... what was it? Once, twice before? She can’t remember. But she knows this is a very different Dave. Aside from the metal skin, he seems implacably confident. But then, people go through changes. She’s been through more than her share. She cocks an eyebrow, recalling her own stint with a metal body.

DAVEBOT: hey earth to whats your face ARADIA: oh ARADIA: its aradia

[...]

DAVEBOT: youre coming DAVEBOT: better decide quick i doubt that dank fuckin hell funnel is staying open for much longer ARADIA: yes i suppose so ARADIA: thats where all the action is right? DAVEBOT: all the action that matters yeah ARADIA: off we go then :) DAVEBOT: word

He holds out his hand. She looks around, and assumes he means for her to take it, so she does. She didn’t know someone could fly this fast. He nearly yanks her arm out of its socket. She considers reminding him that maybe this isn’t necessary, since she can fly too. But she doesn’t want to risk saying more embarrassing stuff around this outrageously cool dude. Besides, they’re through the wormhole before she can even finish the thought. It vanishes the moment they’ve crossed.

...this was a SHIPPING thing wasn’t it.  She’s impressed as hell with Striderbot, she SAID she’d cut things off with Sollux, and then she was so busy being swooped off her feet and into the portal that she forgot to actually say anything to him.  Is that what happened????

Ultimate Self Davebot x Ultimate Self Aradia.  Huh.  Didn’t see that coming.  (Though, again... they could make it SLIGHTLY clearer that this wasn’t just a blatant continuity error.)

Anyway, a rare-don’t-get-used-to-it [S] page...

> [S] (Gaze.)

...Okay that was kinda funny.

> (==>)

SOLLUX: h0w the fuck am i g0ing t0 get d0wn fr0m here.

HAH!  Okay, he’s taking it pretty well.  :)  --and THAT’s what she realized she forgot, giving him a flight down from the tower before leaving.

GOOD.  KEEP THINGS HUMOROUS EVEN WHEN LITERAL ABANDONMENT IS HAPPENING.  THAT’S the Homestuck I was missing.  :)  :)  :)

> Back to reality.

(Since the black hole is outside “canon” reality.)

Those are some cool poses-AHAH JESUS CHRIST ALT!JADE YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING XD

COULD YOU MAYBE HAVE CLEANED UP THE DRIED BLOOD AT SOME POINT OR IS SOME OF THAT FRESH FROM EATING MORE RAW MEAT

(Lord English’s blood leaving permanent timeless bloodstains would be a cool new thing to squeeze into canon i admit, i wouldn’t blame them for taking the excuse even if you could find small canon counterexamples I’m not sure of but dimly think might exist)

((ALSO SHE’S GONNA BE TINY NEXT TO THEM I DUNNO IF THAT MAKES IT MORE TERRIFYING OR LESS, PROBABLY MORE))

DAVEBOT: so youre telling me you dont even feel a little bad that you ditched him to be a weird death acolyte ARADIA: no i think he found my wiles both charming and irresistible DAVEBOT: not even an ounce of guilt or self doubt huh DAVEBOT: just like that DAVEBOT: no conversations about the greater good DAVEBOT: no revelations about your feelings

Is Aradia a jerk or weird?  Can’t decide.

ARADIA: do you often find your faith in yourself shaken like this or is it a new experience now that your mortal coil has been left behind DAVEBOT: what ARADIA: do you think now that all that is left of you is a literal ghost inside of a machine you are more or less likely to embrace finality DAVEBOT: oh dope more cult of one shit DAVEBOT: immortality changed you ARADIA: could it be that you are projecting your feelings onto my situation DAVEBOT: does not compute rose jr ARADIA: ... ARADIA: we dont have to talk about it DAVEBOT: thanks

Wow, I actually can’t follow this conversation at all.  Let me stare at it for a sec...

...okay, the first part she’s talking about DAVE’s faith in HIMself being shaken, not her own.  She’s not asking if he relates to HER experience, she’s contrasting it.

Then, asking if he’d be more likely to embrace death, or... Time?  Death.  Whether his self-worth has changed because he might view himself as “less real”, something Aradia doubtless struggled with when she was a robot who already had so many excuses to devalue herself at the time?  And then Dave talks about “cult of one” shit what does that even mean-...

OH.  Like she’s a death cult.  Gooot it.  Because Aradia’s of the position that death and ending should be celebrated, and Davebot understandably isn’t entirely bought in.  This is as hard to parse down as one would EXPECT conversations between two Ultimate Selves to be hard to parse down, unlike Rose and Dirk where their insane missions and glaring flaws shine bright enough through it all that you can follow their conversation flow easily.

JADE: They sit in each other's presence, the silence between them as meaningful as any words they could exchange. DAVEBOT: its always really cool to hear how meaningful my silences are DAVEBOT: especially while DAVEBOT: CALCULATING DAVEBOT: CALCULATING DAVEBOT: especially while i am attempting to experience them

Alt!Callie pulling a narrative-text AFTER a talk-identifier like “JADE:” is really hilarious in my opinion.

JADE: i do not need your approval. the story will continue how it must. DAVEBOT: beep boop hater detected ARADIA: wow is that true JADE: i am not a hater. DAVEBOT: classic hater line DAVEBOT: i know this because i am pouring through genuine actual quadrabytes of information on historys most notorious haters JADE: no, you aren’t.

Pffffff. This is pretty fun.

DAVEBOT: you are the exact opposite of a hater ARADIA: a liker DAVEBOT: ok DAVEBOT: perfect example your tolerance for whatever is going on with DAVEBOT: all this ARADIA: i think she looks quite lovely covered in the viscera of the all-powerful enemy she consumed ARADIA: floating lifelessly in our periphery ARADIA: observing our every action and noting its relevance :) DAVEBOT: uh huh thats what i mean

I was gonna note “liker” as additive for pointless classpect purposes, but really more quoting it just because I really enjoy this conversation.  I’m starting to get sold on the chemistry of these two a lot faster than I expected.

JADE: even though I understand that it must happen, i am growing frustrated with the direction of this conversation. DAVEBOT: do you want to talk about something else stinky JADE: what would you suggest?

How long has that dried fucking blood been on her

DAVEBOT: ok hear me out DAVEBOT: kanaya DAVEBOT: but like DAVEBOT: wearing huge jorts

That explains Homestuck’s twitter earlier

> Weeks in the future, relative to the original point of interest...

Wait wait which point of interest?  This time we were just viewing? *click*

I love what must be this shitty imagination-ship they’re using to cross the substrate of reality

> ==>

Whoaaaa.  So they DIDN’T stay in those outfits for long?  It showed them in a bunk bed earlier, it showed CallieJade still going around blood-covered afterward-- dammit, I’m having a hard time gauging exactly how much time is supposed to have passed between their entry into the black portal, their earlier conversation, and this moment.  And as likely as some are to call this poor scene composition, I can’t think it’s anything but intentional, given we’re dealing with a couple of Ultimate Time players bullshitting with each other.

Moments like these are not rare, and serve a valuable function to the story. They are able to show a passage of time with the bulk of the emotional labor of a lengthy bonding process happening off screen. How did we get here? What have they been through? These questions are often better left open to individual interpretation and can give the one interpreting a sense of ownership of the story.

See?  We’re being trolled is why.  (Even if the authors are pulling the trick Alt!Callie describes maybe a little too damn often, because a cut like this where we’re supposed to fill in the emotional gaps and intervening events ourselves as readers depends on readers’ faith that sensible events and decisions for these characters would OCCUPY the gaps, as if readers don’t have faith that what intervenes WOULD make sense to their understanding of the characters the way the authors are writing them... it just seems like an excuse to do whatever you want without adequately explaining yourself, when in reality if you’d spelled out the events that led to it we’d all cry foul at the mischaracterization.)

...okay, maybe I’m a BIT bitter.  Sorry.  Where were we?

JADE: As a point of curiosity- ARADIA: oh shit!!!!

The dead Cherub possessing the body of an equally deceased Goddess of Space pauses at the interruption.

She doesn’t talk much, then?  Too busy doing whatever talking you’d do as your other possessed Jade body?  Just how temporally related is you controlling THIS Jade compared to when you were controlling the other?  When that Jade pegged you as enjoying contact with friends, are these two just not enough for you, or did you “experience” the trips entirely separately?  I don’t THINK the alt!Callie possessing either Jade is a separate entity from the other, but...

Were she to voice her opinion, it would be that --actually-- it is not unusual for those whose primary concern is The Grander Scheme to have a passing curiosity about the insignificant. So when one really thinks about it, any annoyance with the attendant’s small mindedness is both understandable and warranted.

She pissed

...also, “the attendant”.  Even if “serve” is really the verb here, that phrasing really irks me as if she’s talking down to her.  Which, I mean, makes sense for alt!Callie’s character, but doesn’t make me feel better about this new definition being foisted on us.

ARADIA: :( JADE: as a point of order, you never answered dave’s question. ARADIA: which one he is very chatty JADE: you experience time in a way that is woefully unfamiliar to me and it has... piqued my curiosity enough to learn more. ARADIA: ?_? DAVEBOT: shes asking how old you are

Wait a minute, is Alt!Callie asking a question about a dropped topic from WEEKS ago?!  And is Davebot so in touch with Time and the meta ordering of topics that he actually CAUGHT ON that fast to what she was actually wondering about?????

This is getting more disorienting by the minute.

ARADIA: in this form our bodies stop aging once we reach maturity i think ARADIA: the god tier keeps our physical form locked in a state of undying ARADIA: even in death the bodies do not decay ARADIA: only lay dormant

THAT LAST PART IS FUCKING IMPORTANT.  It’s being brought up intentionally to tell us that JOHN’S DEAD BODY can still be in the wallet Terezi’s carrying around RIGHT NOW without having decayed over the past years.  I remember remarking in SOME previous HS^2 liveblog post of mine that I was alarmed by the decay that would have happened there (can’t find my remark on short notice and don’t really care to), so this explicitly dismisses it so we won’t be surprised by the fact that she could keep it in just-dead condition.

DAVEBOT: like how long have you been alive JADE: yes, that one.

[...]

ARADIA: oh maybe a few hundred years or so DAVEBOT: what JADE: what? ARADIA: well if i had known you were going to be so judgy about it DAVEBOT: when did this happen ARADIA: oh i spent some time in other doomed realities and timelines and came back before anybody could tell i was gone

Hm!

We knew she spent a LONG time in the dream bubbles, enough to talk to “pretty much all of the Nepetas”, but she was actually able to access a universe or universes and hop between them?  That’s not something any time traveller we’ve seen has been explicitly able to do intentionally before, quite like she’s describing.

DAVEBOT: oh just out for a bit of fun then DAVEBOT: just hopped on over to a different reality DAVEBOT: real casual like DAVEBOT: oh hello dont mind me just popping in to see if it really is as doomed as they say it is DAVEBOT: did not disappoint ARADIA: yes almost exactly like that :) DAVEBOT: who did you hang out with are they cooler than me ARADIA: it is complicated to explain DAVEBOT: oh ok nevermind then DAVEBOT: all clear

Yep, he’s kinda bewildered.  Is this Pesterquest stuff she’s referring to?  Did she stop by Pesterquest?

DAVEBOT: a whole alternate universe ripe with the coolest motherfuckers imaginable ARADIA: you were there too i threw your air conditioner into the sun DAVEBOT: wow thats fucked up DAVEBOT: thats not where that goes at all JADE: these events are not-canonical. ARADIA: rude

Ah!  Yeah, almost certainly Pesterquest.  (Still haven’t played that and have little inclination to now that I’m more sure we aren’t being gaslit with intentional continuity errors, just disappointed by actual continuity errors.)  Oh!  And that makes a bit more sense because I imagine that’s Black Hole territory, and that territory outside of Canon seems pretty rich and easy for time-travellers to hop between stories and timelines willy-nilly.  As they’re apt to in fanfics, which is the most appropriate way for things to be in that realm!

DAVEBOT: is that the trope of being hundreds of years old but looking young forever patently sucks ass DAVEBOT: a plot device an asshole would write ARADIA: :( JADE: that is not what i am trying to say at all. DAVEBOT: hmm wow yeah thatd really be a sort of pot/kettle situation i guess DAVEBOT: i cant believe im the only woke one here DAVEBOT: its hard being such a visionary AND such a fine metallic specimen DAVEBOT: but im an altruist first and fucking foremost ARADIA: so selfless JADE: yes, the greater narrative is truly blessed by your beneficent presence. DAVEBOT: oh so you got jokes now huh JADE: i have always had the ‘jokes’ of which you speak, but i have heretofore exercised restraint in laying you low. JADE: i possess knowledge of many of your iterations, as the scope of my powers allows me to exist in several narrative structures at once. DAVEBOT: but can she see why kids love the sweet cinnamon taste of cinnamon toast crunch JADE: i do not know, or care, what that means. ARADIA: neither do i :)

I’m actually really enjoying this conversation

JADE: its cultural significance to you as an earthling is wasted on the two of us entirely, as we have not conflated the misguided notion of clinging to nostalgic cereal advertisement trivia with socially relevant conversation.

Pff she literally checked her meta notes just now to learn what the cereal ads were after admitting she didn’t know what it meant and pretending not to care

> ==>

Oh, closer look at Davebot.  Are those actual SHAPED shades over his robotic eye bulges?  Weird, I thought it was just a lazy line drawn between them with red sharpie at first, Sans style.  That would’ve been funny.

> ==>

Ohh, I get it.  I was gonna say that was an unwarranted reaction... but he just realized that the Time-wait puns will be coming from BOTH his shipmates from now on.  That’s gotta be a downer.  :)

> ==>

HOLY

FUCKING

SHIT

IS ALT-CALLIE LAUGHING!??!?!?!??

That’s REALLY, REALLY GOOD!!!  SHE’S ALREADY LAUGHING OCCASIONALLY THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY

“BEST NARRATOR” COFFEE CUP

SHE’S ADORABLE

> ==>

Ah, was that Jade kicking you out?  Or just the multiverse punishing you for being briefly happy :(

--oh, end of the update.  Guess that’s it for now!

...

Alright I know I’m A BIT BEHIND on covering the HS2 commentary,

But

I really would rather wait on that a bit longer if that’s alright.  Real busy and stressful week or two.  (Found out my hair is starting to thin noticeably at age 31!  Quite suddenly, too.  Blood test looks fine so it’s nothing serious... gonna see a doctor to check if anything can be safely done about that, it’s really hurting my self-esteem more than I thought it would.  Didn’t think it would hit my emotions that hard when it eventually happened, knew it was likely but not so SOON... really messing with my anxiety every time I accidentally touch my hair, now.  I’ll deal with it.)

If I sound really aimless in this post, I think it’s cause I am?  My mental and emotional energy’s REALLY drained.  I’m glad that June/July break in HS^2 happened when it did, and I’m definitely glad there’s apparently plenty in HS^2 I can really enjoy, if this update is anything to go by.  Maybe this comic can help lift me up instead of knocking me down.  :)

See y��all later!  More Patreon commentary blogging catchup after some other upd8.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #277

“i think we could reach heaven if we go through hell”

What are you currently listening to? "Heaven" by Solence. Has your father met the boy you currently love? I don’t love a guy, just his memory. I don’t think it’s accurate to say “yeah I love him” when I haven’t spoken to/associated with him since one talk in 2017. Are you closer with your siblings or cousins? My sisters. I barely ever see/talk to my cousins at all. How many people have you really fallen for? Two. Next event you’ll wear a dress to: Probably not ‘til my sister’s wedding next year. Why did you last cry? Oh god it’s so cheesy but it was during the Unus Annus video where Mark, Ethan, and Amy were out in the desert watching Neowise and just talking about life and shit. I legit sat in silence just thinking for a while after I finished it. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Shit, not even 10 minutes. Sometimes not even five. I don’t do anything special at all, just get dressed, brush teeth, and comb my hair. Would you ever take back someone after they cheated? Nnnnope. How many arguments have you had with the last person you dated? Well considering we jumped back and forth from hating each other to being friends like five times as kids,,,, lmao. But on a serious note, it’s rare now. I don’t exactly count arguments tho. Do you want to see somebody right now? I wanna hang with Sara so bad mayn. Do you get distracted easily? YEAH. Do you think that someone has feelings for you? Yeah. Do you still talk to the person that you last kissed? On the daily. Are you easy to get along with? I think so. I’m chill with such a variety of people that you know you can be free of judgment. The only thing you’d have to understand is how quiet I am and that it does not equate to me being disinterested in you or anything, as people have apparently thought. Have you ever had a pet goldfish? As a kid. Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes? Yeah. Are you short? I’m of an average height for someone my gender, age, and nationality or whatever it’s called. Is there anything stressing you out currently? bruuuuuhhhhh I am ALWAYS stressed about something. What’s something that you cannot wait for? This fucking pandemic to end. Just wear your goddamn masks and stay in your fucking houses ‘n shit and maybe we’ll move forward. What was your favorite grade? So it’s super ironic: 7th. Which is when my depression manifested. I just have a lot of good memories with excellent teachers and friends. Are you afraid of shots? “Fear” is the wrong word for it, but there’s certainly a tense feeling before you get one. It’s not the needle that really hurts, it’s whatever medicine is being injected. Always stings. Were you an adorable baby? I was tbh, but I had nothing on my little sister. Nicole was so fucking cute. Are you happy with who you’re becoming? No. Do you want children? No. Do you change your phone background a lot? Not “a lot,” no. Would you rather take a relationship really slow or really fast? Definitely really slow. Really fast is nooot my style. I mean, neither is very slow, but I’d definitely prefer it and feel more secure in it. When applying eyeliner, which eye do you do first? Uhhh I think left? I do this so rarely that I don’t really know lol. How many exes have you talked to today? One. Are you tan? lol hell no. I never have been. Do you use any acne medication? I use a facial scrub to exfoliate and prevent acne, does that count? Is anybody in your family schizophrenic? If so, what is their life like? My half-sister I’ve never met. I know almost nothing about her so can’t answer the second question. Are you likely to crack under peer pressure? Not really, no. Are you emotional or very stoic? I’m emotional as hell. How many states have you lived in? North Carolina has kept me hostage my whole life. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yeah. Who did you last say “I love you” to? Me mum. How do you want to die? Eek, idk man. Part of me says fast as to avoid pain or a gradual, torturous decline in health, but at the same time I want my life to conclude after like… accepting it and not taking my last days for granted. I also don’t want the sudden surprise on my loved ones. Are you scared of spiders? Okay, so this is very situational. If a spider surprises me, I’m most likely going to gasp/scream/curse and try to get away. However, I find them very, very fascinating to watch and are beautiful and some even cute in their own right. I respect their existence and position in the ecosystem. I’ve held a tarantula before and even want two (… or ten) as a pet, so I can’t be THAT scared of them. Oh, and I’m much more likely to be spooked by ones with long legs and particularly small bodies. Idk, it’s weird. Do you have trust issues? fuck YES I do. Who/what was your last dream about? I know Jason was in it, but that’s no surprise. I remember someone randomly trying to kill me again lmao. Who was the last person you cried in front of? I’m sure it was Mom. Who was your last text from? Sara. Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed? The fuck is wrong with you if you sleep with it open?????????????? Have you ever "done it" in a hotel room? No. I don’t think we were ever in a hotel together, and besides, it’s p gross imho. I can’t say for sure I wouldn’t lmao but I hope I wouldn’t. Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No, that’s never made sense to me? My sister stole a traffic cone once tho lmao. She legit just wanted to do something sketchy. Highkey badass, amirite. Are you reading any books right now? I’m very slowly reading Wings of Fire: The Dark Secret by Tui T. Sutherland. I’m going through one of my junctures of little reading again, even though I’m enjoying the book as I do with the series. Who was the last person to send you a friend request on Facebook? Some dude I had no mutual friends with or anything. How recently did you wash your hands? Last time I went to the bathroom. Did the last person you kissed have facial hair? No. Who is the most intelligent person you know? Girt. Do you have younger siblings? If you do, are you protective of them? I have one sister younger by two years, and I’d kill for her even if we’re not all that close. What are the other members of your household doing at this moment? I’ve actually been home alone for around two weeks now and am MIRACULOUSLY doing totally fine. My mom had to take an urgent flight to NY because her mom is dying. Sadly much slower than they expected. She’s not in pain due to medicine, but nevertheless, it’s torture for her. She can't do anything. Do you have any neighbors that you don't get along with? Not really, but there is someone to our right that constantly has music playing outside, and sometimes it’s annoying. In the past week, have you slept past midday? No. I can’t remember the last time I did that. Name the last song that made you cry. “Lovely” by Billie Eilish, I think. It reminded me of Jason. Do you use Twitter? Not really, no. I only ever check it to look at Mark’s lmao what a shocker. The last time something scared you, what was it? One of my nightmares last night. A huge spider was hurrying towards my face from the wall and I actually scrambled out of bed irl, therefore nearly passing out bc I can't get up fast w/o getting extremely dizzy, oof. Who was your first best friend? Brianna. Are you still friends anymore? On Facebook, anyway. We haven’t talk-talked in many years. Who is your best friend right now? Sara. How old were you when you found out what sex was? I was in the 4th or 5th grade, whatever age you are then. I definitely learned later than most, it seems. Had no idea until sex ed in school. Name one quirk you have that drives people crazy? I pace badly, and I’ve been told by numerous people it makes them anxious. Who is your favorite Disney villain? Probably Scar. You gotta admit his scheme was pretty clever, and he had a BUMPIN song. Would you have children if a surrogate could carry it for you? No, I still wouldn’t. Do you have an account for any social platform that you rarely/never use? Yeah, like Twitter. What do you most frequently take photos of? Nature. Do you ever wear hats? What does your favorite hat look like? No. Have you tried any foods or drinks for the first time today? Which? No. Does anyone close to you smoke cigarettes? My dad. What was the last song you heard, that made you feel nostalgic? Motionless In White recently covered "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers. Is it awkward when you run into your ex? I don’t run into any of them. Do you prefer pasta, salad, or coleslaw? Oh, totally pasta. Coleslaw is fucking disgusting. Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again? I hope. Would you rather pierce your tongue or lip? I have a vertical labret and did have snake eyes, and I adore(d) both; however, I prefer my lip ring. It’s like, a part of my identity by now lmao. Last time you were attacked by an animal? I don’t think an animal has ever seriously hurt me, instead only through playing too rough. I get scratches from Roman every now and again from it. How many times have you been engaged (if any at all)? Never. Have you ever been called something and you didn’t know what it meant? So one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever done is accidentally agree to being a martyr, because at the time, I thought it only meant like, you’d die for what you stand for, which in most serious cases, I would. I didn’t know that wasn’t the kind he meant; he meant I was trying to make shit all about me and throw a pity party about the breakup. I didn’t learn that was the “common day” definition until a long time after when I was no longer in contact with this person. Are your eyes sensitive to sunlight? VERY VERY VERY. Have you ever been busted for underage drinking? No. Do you have a picture of you and your lover kissing? I don’t have a “lover.” Have you witnessed a fight at school? So shortly after returning to class in the 10th grade, a girl deadass got stabbed in the neck during a fight nearby my classroom. I (nor my classmates) actually saw it, just heard. Safe to say the assailant was expelled, and the other girl was lucky to have her throat missed, though that was apparently what the other girl was aiming for. She went to the hospital of course, and that’s all I know. Who did you last get into a big argument with? Probably Mom. Do you drink lots of water? Sigh, no. What was the worst feeling you last felt? Before my last period I had a day of such bad cramping that I decided to go back on birth control. I originally started it for that but stopped to see how it would affect my mood, and now I absolutely need it back. Interested in anyone at the moment? Yeah. Do you know people with your last name that you aren't related to? Besides historical people, no. Are you guilty of texting while driving? ”I don’t drive, but I am so against doing that. Please don’t. It only takes a second of distraction for something to go wrong. Keep your eyes on the damn road.” <<<< This right fuckin here. Have you ever caused a lot of noise in a library? No. What was the last thing that completely took your breath away? I don’t know. When playing rock, paper, scissors which do you usually pick? Uhhh I think scissors? Have you ever tried to write a book? Yes, but they’re all projects I abandoned. Have you ever been hit by a chunk of hail? Not that I recall, no. Do you have high standards? Honestly yes when it comes to relationships (which is what I assume you’re talking about). Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle? Yeah. Do you know how to snap your fingers? Uh, yeah. Do you plan your outfits for the next day or just randomly choose? I choose on the spot, usually. Are you a bossy person? Definitely not. Is it true that if you don’t love yourself, you can’t love another? I fucking hate that statement. It’s absolute bullshit.

[vampanic]

okay im just gonna make a big post on it eat me!

here’s what i discovered today while listening to music

in my mind lorey from a music standpoint is max b.emis, if he looked like dave va.nian, and did covers of 1930s standards. That’s it! And if blood drunk is ever made into a film or a musical this is very much what i’ll keep in mind

i listened to a 1920s-30s playlist today and i discovered a few songs that could be in a blood drunk movie during a montage or two. I also discovered two songs I want Lorey’s band to do covers of. The first is “What a Little Moonlight Can Do” by Billie Holid.ay which is literally perfect in literally every single way! Structurally it reminds me a lot of a punk song. It is very upbeat in tempo so it would be perfect as a punk song. The lyrics are perfect! Not only are they sweet and fun, but they’re sexy and can definitely be seen as very #vam.pireaesthetic. I don’t know if I’m able to write covers in a book, but I want it in the movie version lol The other is “All of You” by Sammy Dav.is Jr. (a jewish connection!) which I think was put in the playlist by accident because it is a 50s song but I DON’T CARE! I still like it a lot and think it could easily translate to punk. I actually misheard the lyrics and thought they were gay and I did a little rewrite to make em that way. The lyrics are also sexy and fun and vampiric. 

I also dipped back into my favorite punk playlist and have found out that almost all of the punk I like is from London. So now I’m on the search for new york punk to listen to (i know a few but i gotta expand). I did find this song written by an l.a. band called “Let’s Get Ri.d of NY” that appears to be an unironic anti-nyc song from what i can tell. I cannot find the actual lyrics anywhere though. one line i can make out though is pretty nooot good so maybe it wouldn’t be wise to include. unless the song is meant to be cheeky but idk. we all know about ny/c vs l/a so i feel like it is genuine but who the heck knows 

[inappropriatefangirlneeds]

Gotham s5ep7 “ Ace Chemicals” Personal Review

“I'll believe it when it happens.”    Warning spoilers below, it´s a short one this time

* The government fucking mined the river?! Wtf. Also I´d complain they didn´t point out this wtfery earlier but the reveal scene with Oswald´s guineapigs in boats was kinda funny, mean and horrible but funny, I was so relieved when he said he´s swimming back I should have known that this wouldn´t last, but in general couldn´t they just send out unmaned boats, things, stuff and detonate the mines and then get through, have people do it on more than one spot at the same time, the government can´t be everywhere at once?  * “I'll believe it when it happens.” Yeah same. Also they really pulled back the help because of some chemicals in the river, like don´t get me wrong I still was like this is not good, nooot in the water, but you can´t tell me that corporations didn´t put more toxic substances into the environment over the years ...  * “I'm not cutting you out, but I need you sharp, not a liability.” Jim is right, sleep is important.  * “Check out the mustache”  I wonder if Ben Mckenzie was like .. phew I dodged that bullet for sooo long .. in that scene. “ “I never figured Zsasz for much of a cinephile.” Well I kinda did, don´t blow holes in my headcanons Jim,  “Not everything is about Jim Gordon.” Okay there´s like a couple of things in this episode I don´t want to deal with but they at least had some okayish moments with the child thing. Barbara (of course) not being about gloating, but getting the best medical care for the child was a nice note (Also what kind of miracle doctor is Lee, like working at Arkham could have been a choice but does that scream on top of your field? But yeah I get it it´s like Lucius who knows everything from hijacking antennas to brain surgery)  ~~ What was annoying is that they put in the “It's what I do, help people.” line with LESLIE THOMPKINS. It´s just right back into the Lee/Barbara contrast they build up and it´s just reminding you of Barbara asking Jim if she can´t help and Jim being like no, not you, not usually, and that he can´t trust her anymore (5x6) Like dude she tried to help, she did help, you´re just an asshole about it and it´s not such a clear altruistic Lee helps people vs. Barbara doesn´t help people thing as this line tries to paint it.  ~~ Less annoying  was when Jim told Lee it´s important that she understands “about this Barbara thing”  Lee was like: “So, what are you gonna do?”  Future tense! They at least didn´t have her make it about past tense. No why did he get together with Barbara, but how will this situation be handled. ~~ Absolutely not annoying was annoyed BARBARA KEAN. “Don´t even start”  “Shut up”  Ahh such a mood. I liked that.  ~~ Absolutely annoying was the scene with JIM & LEE at the GCPD.  Like their dialogue was okayish messish but it was a messish situation. But then Jim grabs Lee´s arm. And it´s just like when he grabbed Barbara´s arm. Well okay not an exact parallel, because Barbara wanted to be close to him and he rejected her just to change this mind (oh those feeble men , can´t even stick to their decisions, always changing their minds .. ). With Lee it´s different she is undecided, voices doubt and Jim reaches out to her despite this. She slaps him.  And I´m excited for a moment, because yes, yes this is a unexpected but good reaction, maybe they´ll finally break this unholy Barbara Lee comparison up (okay it would not break the comparison because it was about them contrasting, “lee helpful/babs tactless”, but it still would break up the narrative if Lee had not complied with the “helpful, supportive girlfriend” role but rejected Jim). After the moment of excitement over a possible interesting plot evolvement, like not everything is about Jim Gordon, how about we really do this, don´t rekindle that relationship, let Lee be her own person, let that rude grab of her arm be her wakeup call, her point to make a decision and leave Jim behind. But, no indeed she does the other overused trope, and I´m only slightly excusing this because Gotham so often paints itself like one of those movies of the past .. and well she does kiss him.  So bleh we got grab>slap>kiss, instead of the much better plot that I came up with ;D  On a side note. Selina Kyle didn´t forget about TABITHA GALAVAN. She´d rather see Oswald dead but he got wealth and a way out and she´s offering it to Barbara Kean. “I'll still need your help moving the stuff.” “We can get out of here together. Away from Jim Gordon. Rich as Midas. Penguin dead in a ditch. Well, aren't we just two single ladies and a baby about to kill our sworn enemy together.” But SELINA KYLE gets side tracked when Alfred stumbles out of the tunnel to the now blown up Wayne Manor (noo what a waste) and tells her Bruce needs help.  For a moment she´s about to kill Penguin for Tabitha (he shouldn´t believe just because she didn´t kill Jeremiah that she wouldn´t kill him) Alfred kind of talks her out of it with reminding her that Bruce needs her help. She doesn´t kill again.  Due to extended Bruce virtue? Am I reading too much into this or was it meant to be read as her and only her choice? Nevertheless, she does interfere with the scene this time and tells Bruce she should have in the past but he absolves her of responsibility and guilt. I wonder if this means that Selina is “free” in some kind and can move on, of if this honest moment will bind them back together more.  Jeremiah survived. How and who fished him out of that glowing green tank?? He has no brain activity anymore and Bruce thankfully thinks to add Selina in his conclusion: ” “He's no longer a threat. To either of us.”  It´s a lot about GUILT and REGRET and WHAT IF´s this week. * Selina feeling responsible because she didn´t act in the past and “what if” she had, but  gets to act in the present and a Bruce again telling her she´s not at fault. * With the Gcpd scene between Leslie and Jim they throw in a “what if” remark, if they hadn´t lost the child, what if Jim hadn´t let Lese down.  * Zorro!Jeremiah gets a direct “what if” Bruce had not been afraid and had not asked to go home line, the episode brings back this guilt and regret as well, * Only Barbara is not tangled up in “what ifs”, she says she wants a clear cut from Jim, fuck this shit I´m out, she got a new responsibility. * Barbara has the best coats! * Those blinking red smiling smileys on the bombs, genious! Unsettling and amusing at the same time. * “Ecco, now.” “If I can't have you as a brother bonded by love, then we'll just have to be bonded by hatred.” Okay this is cruel, I don´t want to. But it´s also clever writing damnit. JEREMIAH VALEKSA wanting to be connected by have Bruce relive the day is horrible but an interesting plot point. “I offered for you to be my best friend! But I've realized if we can't be friends then we can be connected in other ways.”  Great was that he just switched plans so nonchalantly “why not” when Leslie Thompkins and Jim Gordon came along “Well, then it's a good thing I already put a bullet in both of their fraudulent skulls.”. That was really a nice moment.   What I don´t quite get is that the fall into the chemicals was kind of anticlimactic? Like usually I´m a big fan of silly shit happens even to importantTM people and in grave situations (like a mighty, mighty warrior like Khal Drogo meeting his end due to a mundane and absolutely preventable infection .. )  but that was like uh okay. They didn´t reach any moment of understanding or something with their dialogue, the “joke without punchline” line stands out but does it have any more meaning than the words before, it wasn´t even some high point in their fight, no peak in the fight choreography, he basically just slipped and fell. Or did I miss anything significant there? * Hypnotized polite ALFRED PENNYWORTH (Manners, Bruce! , No need for roughhousing, sir. ..) is a joy, thanks for that. Bruce being so clever to play along with the hypnosis scenario and invent the gas leak was clever.  “I thought I lost you.”  “Me? Never” I´m not crying .. you are crying ……   * Monarch theatre has an Owl as Logo (Court of Owls reference?) it´s Douglas Fairbanks Zorro. And I gotta say how they shot this, and put Zorro!Jeremiah on full screen was so effective. Well done!  “Haven't you realized what Gotham is yet? It is no longer a city. It is a prison.” Oh wow, so OSWALD COBBLEPOT really does want to leave. Despite my “good timing” meta I´m still side eyeing this. Selina is shading him that he stole things without having an escape plan. But after the tunnel thing is out because it was blown up I guess. He has a new idea: Edward! (Not the dog)  Oswald indeed has an answer to everything as Nygma smilingly accuses him of, and he´s actually right with all of those: He is “very fond of that dog”, he did pay Hugo Strange to save Eds life not chip him, he probably had plans to save him from Gordon. (Seems Ed didn´t read the great metas in the fandom about how this action was a benevolent one :D ) They tried to kill each other but here they are:  “It means fate has different plans for us.”  >> Which is probably a curveball right back to Nygma´s line:  “Do you believe in fate” 2x09 But wait a minute; Barbara Kean is in Oswald´s office, Oswald promptly figures out this is thanks to Selina. Barbara laments she got to do everything on her own. Edward Nygma says she´s glowing and pregnant. Oswald has his usually wits back and appeals to Barbara: “Come with us” it´s the best for the child. Barbara annoyedly agrees. It´s about a submarine but they got to build it first. Barbara says “shut up” twice #Mood. 

[knightcallie]

~Ira, Noelani, Karawan Adorness~

@witchofnope

It was one of the rare nights when Jasper closed the doors early, allowing the employees to enjoy the rest of it with their friends and family. Atem had collapsed onto the couch of the living room once he arrived at the Adorness home, sighing as he placed his mask onto the table.

Alamea and Haidar came running and jumped right on his tummy. They laughed as his breath rushed out, but he didn’t mind too much. He softly laughed along, shifting as they laid on him properly.

“Titoooooooo you’re home early,” Haidar noted, tilting his head curiously.

“Did something happen?” Alamea asked worriedly, brows furrowing.

He smiled fondly, smoothing down their hair. “No, just early closing for the night.” Then he raised his brows. “What have you two munchkins been doing while I was gone?”

Haidar went on a long ramble about him hunting small animals around the town, filled with sound effects and all. Amusingly entertaining, he could be a good storyteller when he grows up, with more cohesive sound effects and storyline. There were times he had to stop the caracal, getting a little lost.

Alamea interrupted too, more than he did. Atem had to laugh at their antics, the cyan-haired girl trying to correct his exaggerations. He remembered back when he and his cousins told their astronomical tales under the dining room table, giggling and interrupting each other.

At least Alamea and Haidar never reached the levels of noise as he and his cousins did back then, they were often shushed, albeit slightly playfully, by the adults. They would stay quiet for a moment before giggling, continuing where they left off.

“And then mommy, papa, and daddy were all like cheering me on because I brought back food for lunch!”

“Actually, mommy stared in horror, papa was trying to not panic, and daddy was trying to calm mommy and papa over it.”

Atem tried to smother his snorts, enjoying the little banter.

“Ay!” Standing near the dining table was Noelani, hands on her hips, but a smile painted her lips. “What did I tell you earlier little fishies?”

“That you’ll let us stay up late!” Haidar exclaimed as he raised his hands in the air.

Alamea pouted as Karawan, Papaya as he liked to call him, came into the room. “That we were supposed to get ready for bed...”

Noelani hummed, pursing her lips to the side. “Nooot quite.”

She nodded once with an affirmative hum. “That’s right. And what are you laying on your ‘Anakala Atem’s tummy? He must be tired, let him rest!”

He laughed at that as Noelani moved to lift up the children. “Aw Nanay Noe, Haida was just telling about his latest hunt.”

She gave a fond eye roll as she picked said caracal in her arms. “Ah yes, he brought back two birds this time.”

Papaya moved to pick up Alamea, a slight smile to his lips. “Well at least it was on the floor this time and all intact.”

Nanay Noe snorted. “Once we get these little monsters into bed, would you like some tea Atem?”

He nodded. “Oo, mahalo.”

He watched them leave the living room and listened as the footsteps faded. A smile spread across his lips, remembering when his older cousins, titos, and titas had to carry all of them to their rooms. They were trying to wriggle away, giggling and screaming because they wanted to stay up to play.

He remembered the fond huffs and rolling of eyes, the playful scoldings too. Though, it seemed it hasn’t escaped him just yet, considering what kind of trouble he and Toci run into. Papa Ira has saved their skins a good couple of times from angry courtiers. Speaking of the doctor, out he comes from his office with a large sigh leaving him.

“Hi papa!”

“Oh, hello Atem…” He did a quick double check, confusion streaking his face. “Atem? I thought— aren’t you suppose to be at the restaurant?”

He shrugged. “Closed early today.” He lifted up his arms, making grabby hands.

The doctor sighed, shoulders sagging a bit before walking towards him, kneeling down to give him hug. Atem wondered when this entire family thing became a thing, when this man took in people like him. It almost seemed like yesterday Papa Ira was cleaning up another cut, checking his bones due to someone else’s accident.

It almost seemed yesterday that this man offered him a place to stay in this home. He could recall the gentle eyes, so very reminiscent of his parents’ own eyes. He remembered their first breakfast, lunch, and dinner together, something he’s been sorely missing ever since he left the caravan.

The energy, the comfort of a family had been missing for about a year and a half, maybe even longer. He can’t remember, it all seemed to blur together. “Atem, poppet, are you alright?” He blinked, feeling a gentle thumb brushing away a tear. Was he crying? He took a glance up to see the concerned face of Papa Ira.

It was when he noticed Nanay Noe and Papaya were in the room, faces changing from curiosity to concern. Nanay moved to sit next to him, while Papaya moved to sit on the other side. They waited for his answer. Nanay was leaning against him, holding his hand; Papa Ira was holding his cheeks, trying to search his eyes; Papaya had a hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles.

Parting his lips, he tried to give an answer, but he instead, bursted into tears. He’s not entirely sure why, but it seemed his heart knew. “H-Home…” he croaked. “D-Danke— no kou… no kou…” He choked on the words as they brought him into a hug. “Home… home, home, home…” he repeated like a broken record, burying his face in Papa Ira’s shoulder.

“Sshh, we got you habibi, it’s okay…”

“We’re here baby…”

“Deep breaths Atem, shhh…”

He shuddered, realizing what it all meant. “Home… thank you for being home…” he murmured.

It was tense… before it all melted away. There were whispers of reassurances, gently caresses of home. They all pressed a kiss to his forehead, each a bit teary. After a moment, the tea was boiling, a song was softly whistled, and a fatherly hold was given.

~~~

They wrinkled their nose when he spritzed a bit of the perfume their way. “Ok, that’s a little strong Atem, I liked the other one.”

He laughed. “I figured. How’s the tea? We’re thinking of serving that to the guests too.”

They hummed. “Lovely blend, but ah—” They clicked their tongue. “Seems too much of spring. I think an autumn one would be better.”

There was a shifting of glasses and teacups. “Hm, I think Nanay Noe put something like that in there—”

“Are you replacing your mother Atem?” they joked, grin spreading across their face.

He snorted. “What? Noooo, I could never replace Mama…” His aura turned soft. “I just…” It was a warm orange. “I think I found home Belle…”

Their brows shot up. “Oh?”

He nodded. “It feels… better… I feel like I’m part of something again.”

They smiled. “So the tea and perfume, all them?”

“And a doctor,” he added with a light laugh. “He’s the one who helped start the family. It’s… It’s good...”

“I can tell,” they responded fondly. “It’s good for you, you’re getting there puppy.” A cup was pushed towards them. “But that’s only part of it, you still got a ways to go.” They sipped the new blend, grin hidden behind the cup.

“Still?” He huffed, fondly knowing. “I should’ve guessed.”

[punionrings]

i saw wonder woman, here’s my review:

short review: 5/10, not bad, but not really original and extremely overhyped

much, much, longer review (with spoilers):

okay honestly I don’t like superhero movies to begin with. but my bf convinced me to go cuz he likes going to the movies and I.... do not. i hate going to the movie theater.

but we went. and the longer the movie went on the less impressed i was. i really did like the beginning on the amazon island, i thought was pretty cool. but slowly, i was realizing two things:

1. i was going to guess every plot device and twist of this movie very, very quickly

2. things were going to happen and not be explained at all.

as soon as it was brought up that the amazons are the protectors of the good of man, but they don’t bear children, it made me think... do the amazons age? how quickly does diana age? do we assume that between the time of the ancient greeks and world war i, diana ages MAYBE 25 years or so? there’s definitely amazons that die during the beach scene, but do they die of natural causes? if they don’t bear children, and they DO age, what happens if they all die off before ares does return??

and diana is built up to be an intelligent, well-read young woman. so why can’t she figure out that she is not actually an amazon like everyone else is? her mom flat out tells her she isn’t before she leaves. why isn’t she demanding answers about why she is different then?? like she gets the “made from clay” thing but it becomes obvious VERY QUICKLY that something is amiss. as soon as her mom brings up the sword being the god-killer and she said “diana wasn’t meant to wield it,” i immediately thought “it’s because that sword isn’t the special tool, is it.....”

and why the secrecy? doesn’t the queen of the amazons, the leader of the race of women literally made to defeat the evil ares, WANT the actual god-killer (diana) to be well trained enough for the inevitable day that ares does come back? why would she defy zeus’s wishes by not training her to the best of her ability? and diana does that force-blast thing during the training scene. is that an amazon thing or just something diana can do? and she doesn’t even question it? WHY NOOOT?

also: the barrier around the island. is it supposed to be impenetrable? if so, how could steve/the germans get through out of nowhere? if not, how did NOTHING get through over the course of several millennia??

okay but the beach battle scene is cool. got that.

so steve shows up. there’s a dick joke. i roll my eyes and pray the rest of the movie doesn’t have the same “haha diana doesn’t understand relationships or males, haha THAT’S FUNNY!!!” humor. but i was sadly disappointed by the end of the movie. for being hyped as a female-positive movie, they really built up the “diana-is-a-silly-naive-girl” thing, and it got annoying very quickly.

so then diana’s ready to leave the island. she sneaks into the tower with the weapons and shit in them. but... she does that long jump thing to jump to the tower? how did she know she could do that? again, is that something all amazons can do or did she literally take a leap of faith after trying ONCE right before she tried??

okay, so... she leaves with steve. i thought the boat scene was nice. it sets steve up so that he isn’t inherently interested in wooing diana. in fact, it really builds it up that steve wants to respect her boundaries as she has lived a sheltered life and doesn’t really understand modern living or relationships. so this leads me to think, hey, maybe they can have a nice respectful platonic, comradeship-like relationship? where there’s no forced love interest and they can work together without having to be together??

nah.

anyways i wanna switch gears to the chemist lady. with all the hype and buildup through the whole movie, i honestly thought she was going to be the perfect foil to diana. but... the movie does nothing with her? her character goes LITERALLY NOWHERE. with the german general whose name i cannot even remember being built up as the Big Bad, i honestly thought SHE was going to be the actual villain toward the end of the movie? but you could replace her character with Background Scientist #3 and it would’ve had the same effect?

she’s the perfect foil to diana, being that she is a female in a position of power on the opposite side of the army, but doing the “bad” thing to diana’s “good” thing. she could have easily been ares in a new form and be using the general as a puppet to engineer her ideas and implement them in the war. and what was with the hulk-out gas shit? that would’ve made PERFECT sense if she was actually ares and she was using Big Bad General as her puppet, but that NEVER GETS EXPLAINED. if she was ares, she could’ve had a whole hulked-out army of germans snorting this weird gas for a climactic finish to the movie. but it just.... never gets explained. why did this gas exist?!?!?!

but... she’s not ares. she barely has a name. at the end of the movie, diana has the chance to kill her, and just has that realization that, hey, everyone chooses to be good or evil? so she just lets her go free?  then WHY BUILD HER TO BE SO BAD???

here’s what i would have rather happened with the doctor: she comes from a troubled life from some poor eastern european country, but works hard and rises above her station as a woman during this time and becomes a well-known and successful scientist. so she is put in a position of power by the german army, who respect her work instead of scorning her for being an intelligent woman. so she’s “evil” through the whole movie, but at the climax when diana realizes humanity can choose between doing good or doing evil, why not show the doctor doing something inherently good, like saving the german soldiers lives from the fire or something, to let diana see that even this wicked woman is trying to do something that she can consider good?

also, sidenote here: by not doing that, i felt like it actually made the germans more sympathetic? because here we have the british army not listening to anything diana tells them, even though she is obviously very intelligent and knows what she’s talking about. but then we have the Big Bad Germans, who have a woman in a high position of power building weapons for them, and not a single one degrades her because she is a woman. like..... what? that’s the OPPOSITE message you want to be sending, isn’t it???

also, her mask was cool but pointless. she could’ve earned the scars from like..... physical abuse, or as war injuries, but they are never explained and neither is the mask. it would’ve made a perfect symbol at the end of her shedding her “evil” mask, by doing something good and THEN the mask falls off?

anyways........

i don’t know where we are at this point in the movie so i’ll just continue with random thoughts. i thought steve’s companions were actually kind of cool and an interesting twist on the “rag-tag team of bumbling soldiers” trope, and i wish they developed their plights more. like with ptsd, leaving your dreams behind to fight in a war you don’t want to be in, being in a strange land after being kicked out of your homeland, etc. i feel like at the end of the movie their parts were kind of... neutered? like i wish we had some resolution to see what happened to them all? did charlie ever get help or find happiness? did sammy ever really become an actor? did chief ever go back to america? but instead they all kind of just stand around with diana at the end celebration scene, their interesting plots not being developed any further.

i thought the no-mans land/village fight scene was also cool, with steve and the steve gang helping diana fight off the siege army. sidenote: i thought it would’ve been a perfect moment after the fight was over and she’s standing on the church, to throw in an eponymous moment, maybe with one of the villagers going “oh my gosh, she’s... a wonder of a woman! a wonder woman!” and they just keep calling her that. what a missed opportunity.

the village scene was cute up until steve and diana kiss, then i wanted to vomit because i knew they were not going to stick with the platonic-comrade relationship and switch it to a forced romantic one instead.  also, when they cut away from them kissing, t9o the outside of the inn with just their bedroom light on, was it subtly implying that they were banging afterwards? i wasn’t entirely sure, but either way, I REALLY HOPE NOT.

anyways....... the gala event was interesting, i guess? it let steve’s “spy” side kind of show through, and it actually made me jump from “i can’t believe they got troy from high school musical to play this role” to “wow zac efron is actually a pretty good actor.” and it had yet another scene where the chemist lady could be a good foil to diana’s character, what with the male-and-female duos being swapped for a moment, but hooray, missed opportunities everywhere.

okay so i’m just gonna jump to the film climax. it’s here that the movie went from “pretty good” to “mediocre” for me

okay so....... i wasn’t expecting the ares twist, but only because of how fucking stupid it was. casting david thewlis as ares is possibly the most ridiculous choice of casting i’ve ever seen. if ares and diana are the children of ZEUS, and diana is built up through the movie to be this beautiful, other-worldly looking woman, why not build ares to be the same? a thinner, taller, gaunt-er(?) actor would’ve been perfect.  someone like benedict cumberbatch would have been a good role, seeing as how he’s tall, thin, old enough to be playing the part of a general but not so “plain” looking to be silly looking overall? and also, an actor without a mustache. the mustache really threw me off for some reason, it just looked ridiculous. are greek gods literally ever portrayed with mustaches, or was that just the “form” he took? it was just.... Dumb. but we pretty much got the British Grandpa look for the big bad, and it was just really weird.

but when remus lupin reveals himself as ares, i was actually expecting the twist to be “ares raped diana’s mom so that’s why she has god powers,” which to me would’ve explained why diana’s mom was so hell-bent on protecting her from him. but... they didn’t. it wasn’t that big of a deal but the real reveal was extremely lackluster to me.

also, i just did not get ares’ motives. if he’s not the god of war, but the god of truth, then why didn’t the gods believe him when he told them that humans would eventually fuck up the earth? did zeus put the amazons in charge of keeping him in line because he wanted humans to fuck up the earth? and why did ares care so much to make the world better if he obviously was slighted by the rest of the gods and vindicated for his beliefs? what does he fucking care that the world is going to shit?? he’s a GOD. he can fuck off to whatever plane of existence he damn well pleases and just ignore humanity until the end of time.

oh and let’s not forget that steve did tell diana that he loves her. i fucking saw it coming a mile away. i knew as soon as they did the explosion deafness that that would happen. as soon as steve’s motive to sacrifice himself was apparent i fucking knew they were gonna really shove that love plot down our throats.

okay, also, on the topic of explosion deafness: thank fucking christ there’s a blockbuster movie that actually uses that accurately? but it NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN!! like why make it work in ONE scene but not the rest ????!?!?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

okay so.... end of the movie, it’s the present day. bruce wayne finds the film slide of diana + The Boys, somehow, because he’s the batman™ and whatever, he has the money to do that. but at the end of the movie, two questions really bug me:

1. WHY DOES DIANA WORK AT THE LOUVRE MUSEUM?? like, a history museum would make sense. she could be an expert on like, ancient greece? but why the louvre????

2. how “old” is diana at this point? does she use a secret identity when fighting crime, or do the people she work with just know like, “yeah that’s diana, she’s like hundreds of years old, she doesn’t age very quickly, and she has superpowers and fights crime in her spare time.” does she use diana prince as a “normal” persona and fights crime “in disguise”? it’s kind of ambiguous and i feel like will be really important later on in the justice league movie? but it’s just never brought up and it really bugged me.

anyways...... i thought it was alright. if you enjoyed this movie, that’s cool. but what i thought i was walking into was a great kick-ass girl power movie that broke the typical gender stereotypes in superhero movies, but what i got was genderswapped captain america. i thought gal gadot was a pretty good pick for the lead, but one reddit comment summed up her acting to me perfectly:

“Gal Gadot had two facial expressions as Diana Prince: Confused puppy-dog look, and “Confident Warrior” look.”

anyways if you like superhero movies you’ll probably like it. don’t let me stop you from enjoying it, but it definitely did not meet my (probably ridiculously) high expectations.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #112

“i’m like a jesus crisis.”

Have you ever kissed someone who was drunk?  He wasn't wasted or anything, but I'm pretty sure he was drunk with how ungodly talkative he was, and was way more expressive of emotions than he naturally was. Do you like going to weddings?  I do again now.  Although I haven't been to one since recovery, I'm sure I'd handle it fine and actually be happy this time.  I need to get more comfortable in that setting since I'd actually really like a big part of my hopeful photography career to be weddings.  Such a big celebration of love is something I adore.  I already just like taking pictures of couples. Who was the last person you know who became pregnant?  BECAME pregnant, uh, I think a person I'm actually doing pictures for in January. Beach, city, or mountains?  M O U N T A I N S.  DAMMIT they're so beautiful. You get a call at 2:00 a.m. - your first thought is:  My instinctive answer to this question is, "is something wrong with Sara?"  I live with my mom and sister, so it wouldn't be them, and it's not like Ashley calls me if there's trouble, she'd call Mom.  Dad would call Ashley.  She's pretty much the only thing that would come to mind if someone called me at 2:00 A.M. Future names of your children:  I'm not having kids, but I'd absolutely name my daughter Alessandra and my son probably Luther, Vincent, or Victor. How much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)?  She's aware I'm a virgin but have "done things." Are any of your siblings married? What are their spouses’ names?  Nick and very recently Joshua.  I don't know if one's married or anything whatsoever, two are in relationships, idk about my brother. Do you think age matters in relationships?  In romantic relationships, yes. What brand of face wash do you use?  Biore. What’s the last letter of your last name?  S Did your parents give you an allowance as a kid?  No, we couldn't afford to do that. Would you ever consider moving to another country for your career?  No, and that's the reason I'm not pursuing being a meerkat biologist. Do you have any lingerie? Lol no, no one wants to see me in that. What was the shortest amount of time you knew someone before dating them?  A few weeks.  Maybe a little less than a month. What is your favorite app on your phone?  Fuckin' thanks Sara, DragonVale.  I love Pinterest more when I actually go on it, but I don't use it a lot. Which of your pets were you closest to in your lifetime?  The dog I have now, Teddy. Who are you most proud of?  Myself.  I don't mean that in an arrogant way, but seriously.  I don't over-exaggerate what I've been through, but I don't make it sound lesser than what it was, either.  I know I should be proud. When you’re eating pizza do you add anything like crushed peppers, parmesan cheese or hot sauce to it?  No.  Jason got me into adding hot sauce to jalapeno pizza (we wanted death, I know), but I don't do it now.  Loved it, but I think it being slightly less hot was more enjoyable. When was the last time that you plucked your eyebrows?  I've never plucked them; I used to get them waxed, but no longer do.  Don't see the point- they're just going to grow back, and quickly, and I'm not wasting money on that maintenance.  It's not like normal eyebrows are hideous anyway. Do you ever argue or debate with people about your beliefs? I will avoid this at all costs.  I hate it. When’s the last time you had Sunny D? Holy moly, I couldn't tell you.  But it used to sometimes give me heartburn, so I could only fucking imagine drinking it now if I hadn't taken my heartburn medication. Would you turn a family member in if you see them commit murder?  Duh. Would you risk your life to save a total stranger? A total stranger, honestly, no.  I don't know anything about that person.  Could be a piece of shit. Have you ever embarrassed someone intentionally in public? I don't remember ever doing so, and I never could now.  As someone with AvPD, I know how fucking awful embarrassment can be.  Plus it's just rude to try to make someone uncomfortable like that. Are you more likely to believe a man or woman? I'm perfectly aware this is wrong, but a woman.  I'm afraid of and don't trust men. Are you satisfied with the picture on your ID card?  Hell no.  Thank God I look like a totally different person now. What fruit did you last eat?  Hmmm, maybe strawberries? What font do you use most? I prefer Garamond for basic things. Are you allergic to anything? Pollen, big time, and silver. Where is your dad from? Ohio.  ... Or maybe he was born in Michigan but grew up in Ohio.  Idk. Aside from your own, whose house did you last set foot into?  Ashley's co-worker's. What was the first thing you learned how to cook? Scrambled eggs.  And it's still the only thing I know how to cook lmao. What are some wild animals commonly found where you live?  Squirrels and birds are the only things you commonly see.  But you'll see a deer sometimes, too, and more rarely a rabbit.  I think I've seen a fox once in my entire life.  Oh yeah, you'll see possums and raccoons sometimes at night. Does it take a lot to make you cry?  Noooope.  Well, yes to physical pain. What’s the longest hospital stay you’ve had? For what?  Uhhh I think I was there for two weeks.  Mental stuff. Do you know any same-sex married couples?  Hm... I actually don't think I personally do. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?  There was a point where we dated, Jason was like my only real life friend lol, so he was.  Now I call my girlfriend my best friend, but if you don't include s/os, then my current one would be a guy. Skim, 1%, 2% or whole milk?  Eh, probably 2%. Was the last person you kissed physically attractive? Personally, I wasn't physically attracted to him.  But he's definitely not an ugly guy or anything. Do you prefer to say “haha” or “lol?”  I'd say I use them just about the same amount... maybe "lol" more? How many stories does your house have?  One. Were you dreams very vivid as a child? Yes. Do you eat meat?  If you do, what is your justification for it? Yes.  One, the human diet is meant to contain meat.  It's much easier for our bodies to receive the nutrients it needs with meat.  Two, it's part of population control.  Yes, I know, you could argue the exact same for humans, but it's not like a sane person's gonna start eating humans.  Three, it's just the food chain.  Humans are on top of it.  The process of killing an animal for food seems horrible and cruel, I know, and I doubt I personally could do it unless it was a survival situation, but I don't see it as morally wrong. Do you think that time travel is a possibility?  I don't think it's possible, really.  And if it ever happened, you can bet we'd fuck shit up. Do you enjoy night or day better?  I've actually gotten to where I enjoy day.  I strangely have a much higher chance of experiencing anxiety at night, which has kinda turned me away from it.  Plus I have more energy and am generally in a better mood over all in the early day. Have you ever been to a protest? No.  But the more and more passionate I get about gay rights, I'd absolutely partake in a *peaceful* protest regarding that subject now if one was nearby. Worst decision you ever made?  Let a heavily flawed person essentially become God to me. Do you like to hang out with friends one-on-one or in groups? Eh, depends on the mood of those who would be involved, including myself. Bambi or Nemo?  Nemo.  I've actually never seen Bambi, but I love Nemo.  Lil cutie. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook?  Don and Aaron, yeah.  Well wait, Juan too, but I barely even consider him an ex. Has your partner ever accused you of cheating, when you actually didn’t? No. If your hair is long, would you ever think about having it cut short? Or, if it’s short, would you like to grow it long?  I have a short portion on the left and then the rest is shoulder-length.  After seeing myself with a bit of short hair, I'm thinking of getting a purely short haircut eventually.  Built my confidence up when Mom said she thought I'd probably look nice with a short hairstyle after seeing my new haircut.  It'd be something different. What area of science interests you the most?  Genetics. Have you ever been in an inflatable bouncy house? Yeah. Do you think there will be a WWIII?  Yes, eventually.  I don't think humanity's going anywhere too soon, and there's too many militant people. What are things you’re exceptionally good at? Uh.  Going into full-blown panic mode over stupid shit??  That's my specialty. Do you have any good book ideas?  I think a ton of the stories within my friend group's RP would make amazing novels, but I highly doubt any of us will ever actually make books about it. In all honesty, can a person be too nice?  Mixed feelings.  I just don't think some people deserve being nice to, but a part of me says you should treat everyone with kindness regardless, all the while not letting people get away with shit. Is mental abuse really as bad as physical abuse?  Fuck yes it can be.  Some people will take one worse than the other, but both are fucking awful.  Both can ruin someone's life. Zelda Twilight Princess or Ocarina of Time? I have zero interest in Zelda. Do you own a rosary? I'm sure I have one somewhere.  I was raised Roman Catholic, and essentially every Catholic has one. What's the hardest game you've ever played?  Fucking Dark Souls.  I gave it a good effort, but did nooot get that far.  The difficulty honestly drained all the fun out of it.  The hardest game I've ever beaten, uhhh... omg.  Maybe it was just my age/when I played it, but "The Legend of Spyro: The Eternal Night" was so.  Fucking.  Hard.  It literally took me a year or so playing it on-and-off to beat it.  Fantastic game, but my god it was hard.  "Parasite Eve" was also pretty damn hard (mostly thanks to the last boss, jc), but I definitely beat it faster. Would you ever try Fear Factor for one million dollars? Why or why not?  No, wouldn't see the point in wasting the time.  I KNOW I would never get past the second day where you eat some crazy shit.  Nope.  Couldn't do most things they do due to me being a germaphobe, either. If you have a camera, when do you use flash? I never do because I hate the lighting personally, plus the red eyes are just no.  I'd need to learn more about properly using it. What do you call your grandparents? Grammy and Grandpa. What color do you usually paint your nails? I don't paint my nails. Do you look better with red lipstick or black lipstick?  I personally think black.  It fits me better. How many times have you actually been in love?  Once.  I'm not to that point in my current relationship, but I most certainly love her.  There's a difference. How many pills do you take a day?  Five. Have you ever been around someone who was high?  Yeah. Do you want a church wedding?  Definitely not, that's way too traditional for my taste. Have you ever met any celebrities? Lol you don't meet celebrities among my interests in NC.  One day. Have you ever tried archery?  No, but I was interested in it once. Favorite foreign food? Hm.  I'm not sure. Were your ancestors royalty? I only know of Queen Victoria. Does your house have air conditioning throughout, or do you have one that sits in your window? Throughout. Would you ever move to Canada? Sure.  I mean it wouldn't be my first pick for sure, but there's beautiful landscapes, and it at least seems to have way less drama than here. What about Kansas?  Tornado Alley?  Fuck that shit. When you go swimming, do you put your hair up or down?  I keep it down. What do you think is the coolest piercing on someone else?  Ohhh.  This really depends on the person.  Coolest... probably collarbone dermals.  If mine were actually prominent and dermals didn't make me nervous, I'd probably have them.  They're beautiful, but seem super painful.  And risky. Are you attracted to girls?  I've pretty quickly realized I'm more attracted to them than men both physically and emotionally. Growing up what were your favorite cartoon characters?  I loved both Pikachu and Ash. Do you know anyone in a wheelchair?  I don't believe so. If heaven or hell didn’t exist and wasn’t a reward would you still make an effort in being a good person? Duh. Do you want your kids to go to church, synagogue, temple, mosque? Why?  If I had kids, I wouldn't force them to go.  I don't even go. Do you think starting a gofundme is begging or helpful?  It can be either depending on the reason and person's honest intentions. Could you put your dreams on hold to support your bf/gf pursuing theirs? On hold?  Yes. How long should sex last?  It depends on the couple and how they're feeling.  But once one person wants to stop, you stop. Five year plan? Go!  Move out and have a stable job.  Those are the main two things.  Other things will fall into place. Can you be content if you are physically uncomfortable?  I couldn't be. Do you have pictures of your friends, and family in your bedroom? No. How old were you when you went on your first date?  That was like 7th grade, don't know age.  Me, Aaron, and I think two other friends went to a roller rink.  It was enough of a date for middle schoolers lol. Have you ever had surgery, if so for what?  Tubes put in ears when I was 2, pilonidal cyst surgery July this year. Have you ever seen a shark, and if so, were you scared? Never in the wild, just in aquariums.  They never scared me.  Such majestic creatures.  Now if I saw one in the ocean, yeah, I'd be scared. Have you ever gone fishing, or is that totally yucky? Fishing with Dad may just hold my all-time favorite childhood memories.  One of my most cherished memories is this time Dad, Nicole, and I woke up really early to go out on the boat at the nearby river to fish 'til around noon, when activity slows down.  So peaceful and beautiful out there, I'd love to fish there again with him.  I remember it so clearly that I can recall I packed those tiny 3 Musketeers chocolates and Nicole brought Snickers, lol.  Didn't have breakfast since we left so early.  Man... so many good memories related to fishing. Do you enjoy museums, or think they are totally boring? I.  LOVE.  Museums. Do you think illegally downloading things is wrong?  My conscience says yes.  You're stealing.  Yet I still download music.  Oops. Have you and your friend ever liked the same guy/girl?  Not that I know of. Do you tell your best friend everything?  I tell Sara just about every little thing. Ever taken any lessons for anything? Guitar lessons, yeah. Do you call it pop, soda, or fizzy drink?  Soda. Do you like french fries, cheese and gravy mixed together? Uh, that sounds horrid, even without the fact I hate gravy. Do you live in a house, apartment, or what? House. How hot does the temperature get in the summer where you live?  Mid-high 90s, low 100s.  Sometimes high 80s. When was the last time you had a headache? What about stomachache?  Headache, a couple days ago or so.  I get them a lot.  Stomachache, not since I got sick two or so months back. Where is your second home?  Uh.  I guess my dad's? Honestly, could you live without your computer?  Honestly, after being exposed to one for so long, I couldn't live happily, no.  Not unless I just adjusted to not having one after a very, very long time, but I don't even know if that would happen. What is more annoying, people who take forever to reply to texts or when they only say ‘K’? I stg do not reply to me with just "k." Is family the most important thing in your life? If not, what is? My definition of family is different than the traditional.  Just like friends, for me, you pick "real" family.  Say I'm related to an absolute asshole; by actual definition, they'd be family, but to me, nope.  I can put other people above "actual" family, so to answer the question, not necessarily. After taking a shower, do you change in the bathroom or the bedroom?  Bathroom. Are you completely over your last relationship?  There was nothing to get over.  I never got to where I loved him and doubt I ever could.  It was just awkward. Last 3 movies you watched?  "Monster House," "Corpse Bride," and uhhh... pretty sure "Coraline." Do you get stage fright?  Well, when I used to dance, it wasn't that bad since I was with others.  Now, I'm not so sure how I'd be. When was the last time you read a whole book, to the last page exactly?  February. Did you ever actually have a rubber duck? Pretty sure yes. Do you love your computer? MY laptop, yes.  The one I currently have to use, ew. Is there an outdoor movie theater where you live?  No. Have you ever seen your mom or dad drunk?  Both.  Mom claimed she wasn't, but I think she was. Do your parents vote? Mom does, idk about Dad. What’s your favorite thing to eat during a movie? Popcorn. Do you like cherry Pepsi? I like cherry Coke. Would you rather live without your Facebook or Tumblr? Facebook. What Lisa Frank character is your favorite?  Ohhh, the angelic cat. If you inherited a large sum of money what is the first thing you’d buy?  A train ticket. What did you do with your baby teeth when they fell out?  Mom kept them. What is the last thing you took a photograph of?  My snake. <3 Do you have a bookshelf? If so, just one or how many?  It's technically a bookshelf I think, but we store our DVDs there. If you answered yes to the above, are your books ordered in a special way? The DVDs are in alphabetical order. If dinosaurs could be tamed, would you want one as a pet? If they were guaranteed to not attack their owners/be docile and I could care for it appropriately, sure, I'd keep a smaller raptor. What type of souvenir do you usually purchase when on vacation? It's not consistent. If you could choose only one thing from Walmart, what would it be?  Hot fries or Takis, depending on my mood. Would you rather get highlights or dye your whole head?  Dye everything.