#maybe is not that deep

[bagely]

Q!MISSA VS STEVEN UNIVERSE: love when you don't love you

(essay on a beloved wet cat)

WARNING: These are my opinions, none of this is strictly canon, and it took a lot from Missa's pov and nothing more. ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE. As you can see in the title I'm all related to Steven Universe songs lol

AO3 LINKKK

Welcome to the firts song, Love Like You;

Minecraft Extreme is the key to understand the actions and decisions of Missa cube. In extremo he was alone in that cold and hostile world until the team vacío legal took him in. They taught him what it was like to have a family, they protected him and teached him to defend himself, but since good things don't last missa left first. But across dimensions, time and space, the connections he had, the warmth and the feeling of family never went away. It changed the perspective of family forever. In missa's own words about them: 

Missa Cubito has never felt enough for the people he loves.

If I could begin to be

Half of what you think of me

I could do about anything

I could even learn how to love..

Missa: I was in a team of very talented and wonderful people, they taught me how to play.... I didn't learn much but that team was called the " Vacío legal" Team, they were the best, they formed what I am now.... A disaster.

Missa learned, he grew up and there was a development in his abilities but he does not feel like that, he does not stop feeling like the person he was before them. He doesn't stop seeing himself as the weak one, the one who is protected, the one who didn't know how to survive until the end. 

Another reason why extremo is important to understand q!missa is because some people from extremo went along with missa to quesadilla island, and one such relationship was maintained.

Spreen and Missa are brothers. There is much to say about the two of them, and it is impossible for me to summarize, but for Spreen, Missa was everything, and for Missa, Spreen was MORE than everything. 

Before the eggs in the early days when they met again they did not change this relationship, and roier was also there, became his friend and helped him with his taqueria. Then the betrayal of the tacos happened.

Missa came back one day, and the world was upside down. Spreen killed his cat? no, it's not impossible, Roier is lying. His brother would never do that, he wouldn't be able to do that just for power and money, wouldn't he? He had to have a reason, he would never do that to missa, they're not like that. he's not like that. Missa even mentioned that maybe he wasn't Spreen that maybe he was like Quackity and "ElQuackity" because Spreen is his brother who protected him from everything, a person like that wouldn't hurt him, right?

When I see the way you act

Wondering when I'm coming back

I could do about anything

..I could even learn how to love like you

Even when Missa accepted that it happened, he blamed Roier. He knew it was a bad idea, he didn't have to trust Roier, all of this is because of his ambition. It is obvious that he would not beat Spreen, nobody beats Spreen. Roier is a fool and it's all his fault, not spreen's. And Roier made Spreen angry at him too, there is not other explanation, is Roier's fault.

Missa : [...] Throw everything away. Get rid of absolutely all the tacos you have and burn it. Get rid of- 

Roier : You don't understand, Missa .

Missa : [...] I'm leavin   

Roier : Are you leaving Missa? Are you going to leave me alone

Missa: You are not alone, you are with your pinches tacos, family ruiner.

Missa always idolizes his brother. Spreen is; brave, strong, and cool. this bunch of things that Missa felt he isn't. Spreen is and was Missa's hero.

But he betrayed him. Missa erased that from his memory in denial, and when he saw him again he pretended nothing had happened. He didn't expect an apology, it didn't matter anyway… it was just a cat, his brother is more important. Missa has never been against spreen, he can't be after all they have been through as siblings... Still, why did he kill his cat, why didn't he apologize? Why would he- ... After the egg event, he never saw his brother again. 

It's strange when people leave, because you can't ask them for explanations anymore, you can't tell them how bad their actions made you feel, you can't complain. Spreen left, and Missa couldn't do anything to stop it.

Now, Missa is alone and meets someone, and becomes a father. Things move fast, on the island. He is with two people who think he is amazing, who praise his attributes, who show him constant admiration, love... Something he hasn't felt since the team vacío legal, family.

I always thought I might be bad

Now I'm sure that it's true

'Cause I think you're so good

And I'm nothing like you..

Missa had never really been in the position of protector until chayanne came along, after the betrayal of the tacos, missa had been alone and out of nowhere he was given this little egg to protect and he couldn't get happier. Missa becomes someone's hero, someone's protector.

Missa loves Chayanne, that is something without a doubt. He is their little warrior. Missa doesn't want Chay to end up like him, he wants to make him strong because he is afraid that Chay will feel what he feels all the time. Missa supports Chayanne in everything, and even he doesn't limit Chay from just being strong and treats him like the child he is.

Missa: I wanted to see you, I missed you a lot. [...] I was afraid to return, because I was a bad father and I said: My son will not love me anymore, never again [...]

Missa thinks he's a bad father, he says it so much that it comes out easily. Although his son and husband deny it. When he sees his son's joy at seeing him, he thinks of his sadness when he goes away. He started to see himself as a shadow for the death family. 

Look at you go, I just adore you

I wish that I knew

What makes you think I'm so special..

He tries to emphasize his presence, to make gifts like drawings that will cheer them up when he's not there. He feels weaker and weaker as the world gets harder and harder, and he doesn't see himself going up steps but trapped on an electric ladder going down.

Missa: Omg, I'm making you work just for me, thank you so much for.... Sorry, sorry...

Philza: Don't worry, I got you.

Missa: I don't deserve you philza, I'm going to talk like this weird so the translator won't work, so it won't understand that I'm telling you that I love you.

Missa begins to believe that he is a burden to these wonderful people, especially Philza. They were named as a partner, and now they are in this together... but Missa every time he comes back he feels he contributes less and less. And Philza gives him so much, Missa thinks Philza should give it to someone else and that he doesn't deserve it.

Missa can't see someone else as the father of their child, and for some reason that Missa doesn't understand Philza can't see someone else in Missa's place either, and it's all wonderful... but is it? Isn't he putting too much pressure on Philza with Chayanne?

If I could begin to do

Something that does right by you

I would do about anything

I would even learn how to love..

And Philza is so good, someone was going to notice, see it, and take it away from him. Missa doesn't blame them, but it bothers him, and he wants to fight but not because of Philza, but because Phil's rights to decide need to be respected, even though he doesn't believe he will be chosen. 

Missa feels that he can't support him anymore, that the level of support he can give is not enough. That he is not enough. Philza tries to calm him down, to tell him that he's fine taking care of Chay alone, but out of nowhere it's two kids... When? How much has he missed? 

When I see the way you look

Shaken by how long it took

I could do about anything

I could even learn how to love like you

Love like you

Love me like you.

THANKS FOR READING THE FIRST PART!!

MORE COMING NEXT WEEKS

[sing-you-fools]

me: this is a background character who's in one scene, has two lines, and is completely irrelevant to the rest of the story. i am going to stop obsessing over what to name him and use the random name generator on behindthename.com. i am going to accept the first thing it gives me and move the fuck on.

behindthename.com:

[salamander-crimes]

what is it about the least canon-compliant aromantic headcanons that makes them the best. like when a character shows no romantic attraction okay that is pretty awesome. but when romance is a big part of a character/plot? oh now we're fucking cooking

[allgremlinart]

underrated father in law dynamic

[theofficialpresidentoftheusa]

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury…………they fucked in that Honda odyssey……I rest my case thank u

[pencilscratchins]

atla renaissance pt 3 calls to me like a siren

[yes-asil]

Made fake screenshots for a role-play story I read way back when.

[cuterefaction]

Trektober Day 20 - Only One Bed. Rosalind Chao gave the impression of trying SO hard to hint the polycule into existence. I hope in some AU or other Keiko was successful.

[hyenaa-euphoria]

hope 1/???

more angst!! i am actually building an au around this comic but I’ve never done aus before so like this is new to me!!!

[huang-er-jiejie]

i. i just realised something about the kiss.

the way when aziraphale puts both of his hands on crowley's back, you can see them kinda shift so aziraphale isn't leaning. he held onto crowley for stability, and leaned in. pushed closer to him. he leaned forward. anyone ever says he didn't want the kiss im going to hunt you down because HE HELD CLOSE!!! HE KISSED BACK!!!!

EDIT: also im like WELL aware he kissed back i was even when i first watched it like its not a big revelation, its just that SOME people☠️ on TIKTOK☠️ KEEP SAYING HE WAS DISGUSTED BY THE KISS???? like i swear some people are watching a different show entirely

[angelsdean]

everyone you admire, idolize, put on a pedestal is just a person. everyone you hate, demonize, find irritating / annoying, is also just a person.

[turtletoria]

one downside to digital mediums of art is that you cant see the tear stains (they just slide down the screen)

[ladyylavenderrr]

Bajoran earrings, my beloved

[ruporas]

captain's warm hugs! (id in alt)

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

finally at that age where i'm thinking i should get a tattoo. not bc i feel strongly about it, just seems like a waste not to. i've got so much skin i'm not using

[pockyandsoda]

me, while watching any star trek ds9 season one episode that isnt episode 3: yes yes this is all very fascinating, but what is mr garak up to i wonder?