#maybe im not looking in tge right direction

[emaya-chan-the-potato-headed]

I may be very much alone with this thought, but OMG! Doesn't 2023 have the worst creative BLOCK and unmotivated energy you have ever experienced???!!!

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Notice me.... talk to me.

Sometimes. You cursed your boyfriend's ego.

It just could be so incredibly difficult to just deal with him at some point...

No matter how exausted or just being proven wrong, Chisaki Kai stumped his foot down to just prove for those who doubted or even, with some sorta of courage, talked back to him how stupid and dumb they were. Because he was right. He knew what was best for him, whose he consider dear to his heart and even the world itself. It didn't matter if blood had to be sheed or people to get hurt. He got what he wanted as always would.

You weren't excluded from this harsh treatment either...

Kai and you rarely fight over something. The man absolutely hated arguments that included yelling or some sort of physical combat although it was necessary with some... imcopentent subbordinates of his.

Yet it didn't mean how cruel your boyfriend could be from only just using words. Especially when he had a problem on his bussiness with the Shie Hassaikai.

For your doom, today was one of those days...

"I'm sure if you just took a couple of hours even to just relax and forget about your goal for one minute you would be less tense." You tried to coach your boyfriend but he only glared at you like you were an arrogant child throwing a tantrum.

"And who are to demand things from me (Y/n)?" He spoke through gritted teeth, you could tell even if he was with a mask over his face.

"Im.. Im just trying to help." You murmured lowly, hurt evident on your features.

"Do I look like i need help from you? You cant even walk alone on a city without being glued to my arm on being guarded by the Shie Hassaikai workers." He spoke on a manner of fact tone before giving his back to you to walk back to his desk.

But you tried one less approach...

"Kai... please. I can't- I don't even recognise you anymore. Please just try to listen to me-" you tried to touch his shoulder only to gasp when his rough and covered hands grabbed onto your wrist harshly and roughly pinned you to the wall as he stared with a murder gaze down at you while tightening his grip on your wrist.

"I won't listen to you. And you know why?" He whispered with venom as he etightened even more his grip on you to the point where it actually started to hurt. "Because comparing me and to yourself dearest, you're just a clingly brat trying to distract me to your own enjoyment."

"K-Kai stop it It hu-" you whimpered and gasped in fear as he slammeed a fist on the side of your head.

"I wasn't done talking!" He roared in your face as tears started to form in your eyes " cant even listen and do something right now?!"

"Kai please-" you whimpered and your eyes widenes when you noticed his glove on the hand he was holding your pulsefading away.

His quirk.

He was about to use his quirk on you.

"Kai calm down-!" You cried and hives started to appear on his face.

"Now you want me to calm down after irritating me right you useless-"

"LET GO OF ME CHISAKI!" You screamed but at the shock of you using his surname and shouting... Chisaki did ended up using his quirk on you.

His eyes widened as you shouted and clench your bleeding handless arm. Shit... what had he done...?

He almost stuttered for you to calm down and when he tried to get close to you to fix you screamed again.

"NO! GET AWAY FROM ME! STAY BACK!" ignoring your pleas he grabbed onto your arm as you trashed and screamed on his grasp as his eyes burned and finally fixing what he had done... physically at least.

Just when your hand was back you pushed yourself away from and falling on the ground as you stared up at him with wide fearfull eyes...

He felt so ridiculous and angered with himself at the sign of the one who trupy loved him staring back at him not like a man, but as a horrific monster...

"A-Angel I-" he crouched down and extended a hand towards your direction but soon returning it when you flinched at the montion. "... I'm.. (Y/n).. I.. I truly didn't want it-"

"Y-Yeah.." you whimperex while carefully getting up and maintaning a dostance from him "But you did..."

"(Y/n) wait just listen to-!" He stopped walking towards you as you rushed to the exit of his office, using his door as a shield.

"Kai not now..." you muttered and slammed the door shut. Leaving with the weight of guilt enough to bury him on the ground.

It pained him to hear the hurried footsteps and sobs fadind away and knowing he was the cause of it.

.

.

.

The day has been awful. He shoudl have listened to you and take a break... maybe then you would be by his side right now...

He walked like a deadman towards his room and sighed at the sign of the door closed before knocking. No one answered...

Allowing himself, he opened the door to spy that... you weren't there. Your pillow was the only thing missing and it let him with unknow pain on his chest as he closed the door.

He asked for Chrono and Mimic forbyour location ... but none of them opened their mouths. Those two were loyal to him but they also didn't want to see a quarrel in the night time. By the stain on Chrono's coat he could tell that you cried on him just minutes ago.

He frowned at the thought but couldn't just punish his friend for actually being a decent man... unlike him. After all, when was the last time he let you cry on his shoulder?

... when was the last time he actually gave you attention..?

He morned at his flaws before widening his eyes at seeing a covered lump on teh couch as his feet immediately dragged him.

He exhaled in relief at seing your sleeping face on there but immediately frowned at the sign of dried tears on it..

Crouching down by your side he frowned, carresing your cheek with his gloved thumb... but the mere touch was enough to rouse you from your sleep as you let out a scared yelp and scotted away... afraid of him.

That hurted more than that any punchs of miss treating he ever received on his life.

"I'm... Did I wake you?" He murmured before sitting on tge couch, legs spread as his arms rested on it.

You stared at him for a minute before averting your gaze from him to the floor as you hugged your legs closer to your chest.

"I... assume you're need some time still after what... happened." He frowned when you just blinked, a broken and saddened look on your (E/c)'s eyes as you carresed the wrist where he had injured.

"... I didn't wanted it. I never wanted this to happen." He admitted with a pain on his chest that it hurted even to talk... but your silence was killing him.

"Won't you say anything?" He looked at you with expectant eyes "Scream? Yell?... anything?"

You got up and faced away from him as he blinked.

"... I'm going to sleep in the guest's room."

"Sounds... fair." He sighed in despair as he watched you walk away and the distant sound of the door shutting.

Burring his face on his face he sighed. A headache coming along with the burn on his eyes.

What had he done..?

.

.

.

He tried many aproachs for 2 weeks. And nothing seemed to be changing anytime soon.

You didn't looked at his face and only answered him with one or two words if he was lucky enough. He couldn't even eat in peace without noticing you just made your plate and leave, with some excuse of cleaning up later.

That wasn't the problem...

When he tried flowers or even your favorite food you just declined with a shook of your head and gave the flowers to some epderly woman whoose aold them.

Why wont you accept it?

He heard rumors of the Hassaikai workers that they thought that you only didn't break up with him for fear of your life... or even that he wouldn't mind killing you just to find another.

What did you and them thought of him to say those things?

Ah. Of course.

A monster.

.

.

.

He aproached silently the living room where he found your reading. You soon casting him a glance before closing your novel and moving to get out.

"How long this will continue?" The words are harsh, but the tone of his voice was broken, pleading for you to just end this suffering.

You stopped right by his side, not spating him a glance as you furrowed your eyebrowss at the ground and clinging to your book.

"Will you leave?" He asked sorrowfully before you sighed.

"... if you ever lay a hand on me again. I will do worst than just leaving Chisaki." You spoke harsly and he actually felt fear with those words.

It was almost commical. Him, leader of the yakusa and with a dangerous quirk, fearing his quirkless girlfriend.

The day this happened conpleted one month....

.

.

.

He saw your messages.

Family and friends of yours didn't know he was a yakusa. But it was explicit on various texts that the only advice they were given you about the relationship was leaving him.

His heart actually clenched at it. Trembling hand holding the cellphone as hot drops of tears fell from his eyes.

He did fucked up...

.

.

.

The presents only increased. You felt good enough to eat again and even chattered more happipy around the precepts and with your therapist.

Everything was great... except for your current situation with your boyfriend.

You knew Kai had never the intention to use his quirk. Anger and exhaustion could inflect on someone's quirk and made them do mistakes they never meant to. But you were still avoiding him due to the trauma of having your hand literraly being overhauled and the hurtfull words he said.

That was the first time Chisaki took his anger out on you... yet you were still petulant about not giving any of your attention.

The only comfort you noticed he had was that you didn't flinched anymore when he moved or try it to get closer. Key word: try.

Of course you noticed he was deeply affected to it. To the point that even Rappa out of all people came to you to just ask to talk to him was alarming.

You were walking on the hallway before you made a confused sound at Chrono whoose whistle and mentioned with his fingers to make you come over where he was.

"What's the problem?" You asked and furrowed your eyebrows at seeing your suitcase on his other hand "why are you with my-?"

"Overhaul asked me to pick. He wanted to know if you would like to move." Your eyes widened at his words.

"Move? Is he kicking me out?"

"No." He shook his head before handling you a paper where it showed you all pictures of a luxury apartment "He just wants to know if you would be interested on living there instead."

"Huh..." you frowned at the paper before you lift your gaze at Chrono sighing and taking off his mask.

"He is tearing apart (Y/n)." You frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"Kai is conplicated. We all know. But I swear to you i never saw him like that. During this three months, he only worked at his bedroom. Didn't eat. Didn't clean... you see what I mean?"

You frowned even more... was he just as much hurting as you were?

"He is torn. Basically... it just activated a past trauma of his what he did."

"Past trauma? What the-" you stopped when he patted your shoulder.

"Not important. So? You want to or not?"

"... not entirely but just a few things." You mourned on your decision as he nodded,putting his mask back and going into Chisaki's office.

.

.

.

"... i see. Take her there."

"Kai come on... you guys at least can talk to each other-"

"No Chronostasis." He froze at the broken tone of voice of hsi friend as he stared with a empty look at the window. "She deserves a place of her own. Living with me would only make her worst."

"What about you then?" He chuckled sadly before rolling his eyes to see Chrono.

"I am just simply living through what a monster deserve."

....

(A/n):phew! Just came back with a amgsty scenario! Let me know if you guys want a second part of it! It just got way too big for one post.

[fiftyshadesgrl]

Wrecked part 15

I could hear the gunfire coming and going from both far away and close. I pulled at the cuffs but they were just tight enough to where i couldnt pull my hand through. Negan thought it would keep me here but he underestimated me once again. I found an ink pen laying on the counter, broke it down and began to pick the lock.

After a few tries i finally was able to unlock them. I grabbed my guns and the walkie talkie on the counter and made my way to the doors. I slipped out the back hugging the buildings walls as i went. Thankfully the action was at the front of the sanctuary which gave me a chance to move to the treeline just behind the building.

I ducked and scurried until i was sure the trees were thick enough to hide my location. I walked as quickly and quietly as i was able to in the thick leaves until i made it to the hill that would overlook the fight.

I climbed until i made it to a rock which was the perfect place to set up at. I propped my rifle on the rock and turned tge walkie talkie on. I kept the volume the lowest i could and placed it beside my head to where i could hear.

"Northwest!" I heard simon call out, i trained my sights to the northwest of the sanctuary and there was rick. He would fire off a couple of rounds then duck behind a makeshift shelter.

I tried to get a good shot but there was no way to get a clear shot. "Damn it!" I whispered to myself. I decided to search for negan instead so i could cover him. A few moments later i found him and simon ducked down behind one of the cement walls.

I flinched in horror as a shot came very close to hitting negan. "Sniper north east!" Simon bellowed through the walkie talkie. I moved my sights to try to find the sniper. I had to be patient becahse scouting out a sniper was a tough job at least for a experienced one. Luckily enough for me this guy was a rookie.

I was able to spot him easily, he had no camo, or anything to make him blend in so he stuck out like a sore thumb. I trained my sights right in the middle of his forehead, then pulled the trigger. I watched as the hole appeared in the mans forehead and a red mist followed.

After i took the sniper out i settled back on negan. I watched as one of ricks men flanked to the side, simon turned but before he could get a shot off i dtopped the guy with a bullet to the heart.

Simon and negan looked around confused at first and i couldnt help but grin. If only he knew. I took out a few more as they got close until ricks men started to pull back.

Some of the saviors followed but most stayed behind. I watched negan as he looked up around the surrounding woods, probably wondering which one of his men were the one to snipe six men.

"Whos our gaurdian angel? Dwight?" I heard negans voice come through the walkie talkie. I scoffed, dwight couldnt have even got a deer standing still with a rifle let alone a moving target.

I picked the walkie talkie up and held it up, "not even close."

"Y/n? What the fuck are you doing out here?" Negans voice was angry, i expected nothing less. Especially the way he had been acting lately.

"A thank you wont kill you."

"What the fuck am i supposed to be thankful for?"

I threw the strap of my rifle over my shoulder, "saving your ass for one."

I began to climb down from the rock when i felt i was being watched. Maybe one of ricks men had found out where i was and was trying to get the jump on me.

I listened but nothing unusual could be heard. I took the scope off my rifle and scouted through the trees. I stopped suddenly when i spotted a walker, or what i thought was a walker.

The way this person moved and stood, this was no undead. This was someone new. I saw another one come behind him, i placed the scope in my pocket and started sprinting down the hill.

"Negan. Im heading your way...im southeast of your position...im being followed." I said out of breath but needig negan to know where i was.

"What the fuck you mean? Ricks people?" Negan yelled.

"No! Someone new!" I said as i began running down the path leading to the sanctuary. One of them stepped out from behind a tree, they were wearing a walkers skin suit. I turned to my left and ran towards another shortcut i knew.

"Im being surrounded. Im almost to the river." I said just as another one stepped in front of me. "Shit!" I yelled as i turned right going to go back the other direction. They were on all sides, i had no way out besides fighting my way out.

I pulled my handgun from the waist of my jeans, only to have it smacked from my hand by the biggest man i had ever seen. He was at least a foot taller than negan with long stragly hair. His head turned as he put his finger to his lips telling me to be quiet.

"Im almost there." Negans voice came through the walkie talkie, i raised it to tell him the situation but the man grabbed it from my hands.

He brought the walkie talkie up to his mouth and whispered, "to late." A pain exploded in the back of my head and i knew nothing else.

@holylulusworld @tftumblin @an-unhealthy-obsession @jesseswartzwelder @justanotherwinchester @kingdomkey13 @nikki082489 @tcquotes @thequeenreaders @aubageddon91 @imaginesforthepeople

@elliecapper

[winter-dumbass]

How Function Stacks Apply: Si/Se: Personal

1. Se:

I do not relate to this one really.

I’m terrible with Concrete Information where you notice All The Details.

I generally don’t focus on all of my senses.

I take time to look over a room. I’ll start with wherever I’m supposed to be.

I do agree with the seeing is believing.

I can’t always take things as they come. Usually it’s not until Satan’s hounds are riding my ass trying to drag me to hell that I actually jump into action.

Aesthetics do have high value for me. I care about how things look.

Using Se:

Focused on the Here and Now: Almost never. I’m always thinking.

I do not notice my senses unless uncomfortable.

I always put myself through sensory over load but I do not take in barely any information doing that. If I actually want to learn something I have to sit down and learn it.

I am very afraid of missing out on experiences.

My life is a shit show and I’m nervous about what’s around the next corner.

I’ve been putting off taking action. If I don’t, there’s going to be real world consequences around the corner.  My problem isn’t even that I’m too lazy or unwilling. It’s that I don’t have all the information I need and it’s hard to dig out. Google changed too much. I can’t find anything anymore.

I’m not sure how fast my judgments are but I did manage to narrowly avoid getting my ankle run over by a car one time.

From the outside:

Needs Constant Stimulation: Yes

Seems to miss nothing: No

Prone to making snap judgments: I’m impulsive but I don’t really have any real judgments to make in my life. If you mean suddenly judging that I should make an edit of something... Sure.

May avoid thinking about the future: Yes, never know what’s going to happen.

Give me the info I need to do the job then let me do it. I need to see how it works to understand. - I feel this. I don’t like people hovering.

When I see something, I know I want it annnnnd....

Just stare and jab at it with a stick until I find something else to do.

Hopefully I will do all the things someday. I think if I had the means to I would go for it.

Se Blessings:

(My brain is doing this in a British accent but I am American.) ENJOYMENT IN LIFE?! YOU BASTARDS GIVE ME GIVE THAT TO ME RIGHT NOW I WONT STAND FOR THIS! YOU HEAR ME? MAYBE ITS THE BRIT IN MY BLOOD BUT HOW COULD YOU TELL ME SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST SET UP TO BE HAPPIER THAN OTHERS? OHF UCK. IVE GOT THE SHIT END OF THE STICK DON’T I?

Noooow... It’s playing Hamilton.

I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory.

If this is where it gets me to I run away or let it be?

I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT!

Unhealthy Se:

Impulsive: I’m not sure.

Shallow: As much as the Mariana’s Trench.

{Shout out to the band: Album: Fevers and Mirrors}

Materialistic: I want to have nice things but I value mind and experience the most.

Risk taking: If you count drinking and smoking? Yeah. I’m college age fight me.

Always seems to be in trouble: Hm... Yeah, but that’s because no one will just leave me to do my own thing. They are always like YOU CANT DO THAT and I’m like WELL COME STOP ME CLOWN I WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD HAHAHAHAAHHAHAHHA WE LIVE IN A SOCiETY! {I’m funny to me at the very least. That’s all that matters.}

I wish I had Se Tertiary.

I think ENTP has pretty letters though.

Ne Ti Fe Si

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Si:

Expresses tge oresebt wirkd tgriyfg cinoarusib wutg

Wow, that... Is beautiful. This is what happens when I look at my phone while typing.

Expresses the world through comparison with previous experiences:

[i]Yes. Dat me. Me dat boi. {skinny penis}

I’ve had a chaotic life mainly in a bad way... Sooo... It’s pretty rough.

I hope to be in a position to make great memories soon though. [saying that feels awkward but I’m going to just be honest.]

Re experiences past  in vivid detail: Bro and I thought that was my [diagnosed] ptsd.

Are you saying it’s just in my personality to be a miserable bastard who has this idea of having so much potential but not going anywhere with it and that I’ll always feel like- I’M ON THE OUTSIDE ALWAYS LOOKING IN WILL EVER BE MORE THAN IVE EVER BEEN IM TAP TAP TAPPING ON THE GLASS! WAVING THROUGH A WINDOW! {Dear Even Handsome: Not now}

Using the past as a guide on how to direct my present? Yep.

Accurately recalls all steps in the order: If I learn the thing, yeah. Like I could run you through the protocols of my old job still.

*Put on a face mask

*Paper Work

*Check the temperature of the tubs {Adjust if needed}

*Pace back and forth and hope nothing explodes

*Pull things out if they start bubbling

*Jot down temperature every 15 minutes. {Kept me Sane}

Looks at What Happened? and What could be improved?

Yep yep. I was always coming up with systems. It’s just being in a situation where I can use my Si for this. [Damn economy. Give me a job]

Subjectively selects what gets noticed in the present:

YOOOOOOOOOO YO YOU MEAN PEOPLE HAVE BEEN RAGGING ON ME FOR NOT NOTICING SHIT FOR SO LONG BUT ITS JUST MY BRAIN AND I CANT SUPER CONTROL IT?? Like, ‘You didn’t see I cleaned the floors’ No, I had no reason to look at the floors.

Using Si:

Past experience provides the frame of reference for comparison with their present experience: Yes. and that is why I struggle. My family didn’t teach me shit. As you can see, I’m always looking back and forth between the past and present.

Memories are subjective: Everyone’s memories are objectively subjective.

You see... I pick these fights.. and I don’t even realize I’m doing it. I do not want to argue. I just... have fact based opinions.

My opinions go like:

Does it hurt anyone?

No?

No, I didn’t ask if you like it. Or if you stand by it.

Does it... HURT anyone?

Okay. Then go suck a willy.

Most vivid memories are those that were the most impact: Yes.

They prefer to trust their own recall: Generally, yeah. Unless you can show without a doubt you are right.

Associations based on the past: Yes. What I remember is based on what it means. That’s probably why I don’t remember 99% of my life. {My life means nothing bu dun tss}

Referencing an internal database filled with enormous amounts of detail: I tell people. My brain is a spiraling web chart. Yeah.

Familiarity has a great impact on making things more comfortable: Generally yes.

No one can change the internal references except the user themselves: [Yes.]

[i]click

Recollection of past is overlaid on the current experience.

Appear quiet and composed but caught up in the recall.

[i]click

Interpret current situation through others..

[click]

yep... Yawn.exe

“We trade liquor for blood in an attempt to tip the scales. I think you lost what you lost in that mess of details they seemed so important at the time but now you can’t even recall any of the names faces and time. It’s more the feeling of it all.”

Attracted to familiar activities??

Yep. I want more though. New things. I want to do and see new things.

“ThE CUrrENT eXpERIencES AlONG wiTH YoUR... Ugh.... Yes. Current and past may be integrated blah blah blah..

Experience stacking? Yep.

{I am really trying to keep working on this}

........ Annndn I give up