#maybe im not denying it
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HOWARD STERN: Here's what the book claimed- your sexuality was so powerful over him, he was so enamored of you, so attracted to you, almost- PAUL: Wow. STERN: -that you could have your way with him. Not sexually- ROBIN QUIVERS: Did you feel a power over him? PAUL: [rapidly shaking his head] No. STERN: -but in business. That you had a- that he was sort of at your mercy because he was so in love with you. That was the theory in the book. PAUL: Well, you know, I mean- I like that theory. [laughs] STERN: Wish that could've been true. PAUL: No, man.
(x- translation from portuguese by @todayesterday here) (x) (x)
#mclennon#that howard stern one mannnnn.... his body language in that segment is crazy#bc like stern starts talking abt the book and paul interrupts him to deny the john gay rumors but then gets hit w that one instead#which he obviously wasnt prepared for and obviously makes him uncomfortable for im sure like 20 different reasons... :(#also finding that interview and which one it was was a nightmare but in the end i did prevail#anyway just thinking about the theme of paul going 'yeah no didnt happen/he wasnt in love with me/etc but i wish!' like okay#also in the stern one a bit that doesnt rlly get included that comes after that thats interesting is where quivers is like#you know maybe if you had died and he'd lived they'd be saying he had that power over you and he's like 'i think that's true'
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You know, I'm not a cheerleader for cis people who get gender-affirming care (especially if it's "gender nonconforming," such as a cis guy who gets vaginoplasty) because I think cis people are superior or that they should be coddled, but rather, because I don't want people to respect my gender-related care simply because I'm trans. I want people to respect my bodily autonomy because... I'm a human person. It sometimes feels like people want you to prove that they should respect your bodily autonomy, and that's something I fundamentally despise.
I shouldn't need to be open about my transness in order to be respected because... that's not information you're inherently privileged to, nor are you entitled to somebody's transness/gender situation in general. I prefer that we start seeing gender care as something that isn't "for" one group of people when that's not how the world will work, y'know. There will always be people who seek specific care no matter what or who they are, because they're human people who can make decisions.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#and like sometimes i personally don't 'get' when a cis person makes gender-affirming care decisions because we're different people!!!#you don't HAVE to 'get' it to respect it#and sometimes it comes across almost as... objectifying? when people only respect my gender care because im a trans male...#...like to me it comes across as 'you have now proven your trans insanoty and it would come across as wrong for me to deny your autonomy...#...so i GUESS i respect it' and maybe that's not what people mean but it does sometimes come across like that#like... i guess WHY is it that your respect for one's gender care hinges on if they're trans or not
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yk when i think about it, especially when im watching the anime with people who havent read the manga, the reason a lot of people who only watch the anime and didnt read the manga misinterpreted saikis character so badly is definitely in part because of how damn fast paced the anime is 😭

like that little smile and eye shine frame is there for not even half a second in the anime, so its easier to miss it and assume that he really did only finish those workbooks to get coffee jelly ☠️ its much more clear if you get a good look at how he reacts here that hes just a silly little tsundere and a fucking liar
#this might be really obvious but im silly#LET ME YAP !!#dont read this as me making fun of anime only fans#i was literally one until like a few months ago#i just think its unfortunate how different the vibe is#obviously i love the anime though#there are still some things i straight up don't understand how people miss though#like people who watch the whole anime and still think saiki hates teruhashi or nendo specifically#like ? he has some of his most affectionate scenes with them#but i think maybe its because they missed so many of the more subtle details#that by the time they see saikis offu or him saying he and teruhashi make a great team.. it appears more sudden to them than it really is#so they either completely ignore those scenes or dismiss them as fanservice#ugh#its. literally not fan service at all and makes perfect sense if you pay attention#idk how u can watch the sweetest line ever 'we're invincible together' and deny that saiki cares about teruhashi#in general its actually just impossible to end the show thinking he hates any of his friends unless u just ignored things on purpose#even if u ended at the first season like a lot of people#but im just saying i guess i get why its a little less obvious in the show#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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I fear Kevin Day is the type of person whose struggle always came second. He funcioned enough that while everyone knew he wasn't alright, it was also nobody's problem, as someone else was actively having a harder time and they took precedence. He internalises all his problems and keeps going and going but he is fueled by alchool and sheer desperation a 100% of the time. If he were to stop for even a second he wouldn't know how to start again.
Did he ever, at somepoint in his life -away from the ex foxes, a pro player, married to Thea- wish he had it worse, just so that maybe it would have been his turn being saved? Being first? How badly would he feel, just one second after thinking it, because he knows damn well he has enough trauma to fill a stadium and he isn't actually jealous of his friends that had it worse, he isn't . That's a fucked up thing to think, stop it, stop it.
Would he still drink himself into a stupor to shoote the ache, to banish the thought? That's the help he got, when he was at his worst, a drink, and then two, and then a thousand. And it worked, it made him go, it picked him up when he was down, and now he can't get down without crashing.
Did he wish to be saved? Did he hope somebody, anybody, took the time and put in the effort to help him, just because they saw him down, not because he begged, but because they noticed he could use a hand. Or two, actually. Was it torment, to always be under the spotlight, yet never been seen? Did he run toward fame hoping the more eyes on him meant it would be easier to be noticed?
#this spurred from a series of posts about kevin always fumbling the men in his life#and yeah. he really is always second place#he supposedly ends up with thea which. what the fuck.#to me that alone speaks volumes about how out of everyone in aftg he is the one that starts and end basically at the same level of struggle#this is also about the part in the EC where he talks to wymack about Bee#and look i love bee and Andrews’s relationship he really does deserve her#but kevin is right to say that she is his and he can't have her#they text each other#kevin needs and deserves to have his own therapist#someone that is his alone#it breaks my heart to think about this boy#he wont even ask for it#he says: she's Andrew's#and that's it to him#it is true and unchangeable and nothing can be done ablut it#and never thinks okay maybe someone else could be to me what she is to him#and no one else says it either#im sleep deprived this is killing me i had to get it out#kevin day#you deserve the world#nobody even wanted to listen to you talk about history#you are easier to deal with when drunk#you don't have to words nor will to fight them on either of these fronts#you ask once and when you are denied you neverask again dont you#aftg#these are the types of people that end up killing themselves and everyone is surprised at first and then goes...oh yeah he had a hard time#but we couldn't imagine it was that bad#we wish he told us
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i can't sleep my brain and body have been all fucked up this week and i'm laying here at 430 being so PLAGUED by the fact that my life's 3 main hyper fixations have been mcr spn and dnp and not only that but the fact that fiction as a whole will never have anything like destiel again, the internet will never reproduce something like phan. celebrities will NEVER be able to do frerard again. i'm not insane. these are the big 3 and not just because these are my favorite things. there are endless amounts of ships and pairings and fics and lore but literally. the specific experience of living through all of these in one lifetime. no one else will ever have that...except us
#IM NOT INSANE#i say fiction bc a movie cannot do destiel#no one would WRITE a destiel.#and i mean in the way they went about it#destiel only exists in the way it does bc of a very specific set of circumstances#that cannot be replicated#dan and phil are an insane thing to experience#watching them open up over 15 years is like#but we will never be truly satisfied#they'll NEVER really address it in the way everyone wants#and the mystery fuels their popularity#and it's NOT a mystery#but like the fact that they won't address it head on ever#is like being edged#and frerard listen it's frerard#frerard was once the number 1 rpf ship in terms of fics#loop has overtaken that#*kpop#and larry maybe idfk#but bts are not boinking each other#frerard HAVE to have done something at some point#it's like crazy to even try to deny franks feelings#please i want to sleep#but like#how did the first 25 years of the 21st century give us.#all of this at once#it's like infuriating#does anyone hear me#does anyone know
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Dont ask just read, this is what a bored and horny mind can come up with. Yes, this woman needs a name so for now we will call her LSM. What does that stand for? Lets find out together. Completely UNEDITED.
Lesbian Sugar Mommy

You had a daily schedule, a routine. You followed this routine everyday for years. For years. So you being poor as hell at only 24, being barely able to afford food and rent. It was an all time low for you, and an embarrassing one at that. Recently your friend recommends you try a sugar dating app. At first you thought it was stupid, but mulled it over and remembered how broke you were. You made a profile and it took a couple days before you matched with a woman. At first you were incredibly awkward when texting and felt embarrassed. She seemed like the kindest woman you've ever met. She understood you and was better than any man or woman you had previously dated.
You were honestly pretty enamored with her, she has dark green eyes. Like a forest green, god they're beautiful, and you swear they change color depending on what she's wearing. Her hair is long and dark, contrasting her lightly tan skin. Her hair is slightly curly, definitely not straight. In the many pictures she's sent you, you notice all her nails are perfect manicured, but two on each finger have been cut down completely. You didn't bother asking, weren't a virgin or stupid, simply poor. You two began talking a bit more about finances after a couple weeks. She listened to you talk about your financial situation, how you could barely keep a roof over your head. By the end of your two and a half hour conversation, you found yourself being wired $10,000. It wasn't as if it was out of nowhere considering what the conversation was, but it was surprising. LSM had said she wanted to give you a bit of money to keep you going for the month. She had not said she was give 10,000 fucking dollars! You didn't know what to do with the money. Other than pay your bills and let the rest sit.
For a couple days you were worried she'd want it all back, but no, instead she asked if you wanted more.
"Well I didn't give you that much...so I'm just making sure it's enough. I can give you plenty more, sugar."
You had reassured her it was enough, much more than enough. In the following days you were finding her flirting with you more, being more straightforward. You blushed everytime she made a crude joke, but you almost wished it was a statement.
When LSM had asked if you wanted to have dinner at her place you agreed. You wondered how the night would go, if you would fuck up and she'd be mad. You hoped the night went as well as possible, and if not, that she'd at least tell you.
The night went a lot of different ways. At first she was playing the kind and gracious host, then she was flirting with you. Finally you had both drank a little too much of her expensive red wine, and she fucked you against her king size bed.
You dont remember the first little bit, but you certainly remember how your night ended. Well not all of it, that woman has the sex drive of a beast. She continued until she couldn't, until you couldn't walk and she couldn't see straight. If nothing else; your legs will remember this until you die.
"Good morning sugar, how are you feeling? I hope I wasn't too rough on you, although I can't say it was entirely my fault. You kept begging me to keep going, and who am I to deny you?"
You whined, talking hurt, and you couldn't move without some part of your body below your waist hurting. You sit up just a enough and look at yourself in your phone mirror. Oh she knew exactly what she was doing, theres a massive bite mark on your shoulder. Everywhere else there's hickeys, like they're changing color.
"Before you get mad- please look at my back!"
She turned and you saw large scratch marks running down her back. From her shoulders to her ass, you can also see quite the array of bites on her shoulder. One looks like it was actually bleeding. Your reaction must be funny because she's laughing like crazy. She gently cups your face and kisses your lips.
"So pretty. My girl is so pretty arent you? Mommy's little girl."
You just laid in her arms for a while, letting her talk about whatever she wanted. You were tired and her touch made you weak. You began thinking about your job, did you have to call in to work today? Were you working today? You asked LSM, but she just smiled and shook her head.
"You wont need your job anymore, at least not this one. I've already sent your monthly allowance over to you. You can quit that job anytime, it'll give you more time for me."
Monthly allowance? You pulled away to check your bank account. Sure enough she had transferred over $40,000.
You stared at the number for a moment a then looked back at her. You assumed she was some sort of big millionaire, but now that you're looking around. Really looking. You dont want to know what this woman does for a living.
"Pay no mind sugar, now come here. I'll have someone bring breakfast and we can stay in bed all day!"
#wlw#lesbian#im bad at this#women are hot#i cant write#sugar mommy#lesbian sugar mommy#lesbian sugar mommy x reader#rich#unedited#i tried#she might be in the mafia but i am not confirming nor denying that#maybe shes a mafia boss#maybe she is just really really rich#i dont see this as smut
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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NO BEST DIRECTOR NOM FOR DENIS?!?!?!?!?!???????? the academy should all kill themselves unironically. also timtom should have been nominated for chad paulie atreides not for fuckass dylan 🙄 the substance best picture nom!!!!!! everybody enjoyed that!!!!!!! as well as anora!!!!! and mikey madison and yura borisov best actress best supporting actor respectively !!!!!!!!! THE AUDIENCE IS CELEBRATING!!!!! cain and abel succession joint first time Oscar nominees that's family!! nosferatu getting a best costume design nod in there 👌better than nothing. also they couldn't pay me money to watch emilia perez. isabella rossellini feels a little silly for 3.4 mins of screen time and just about as many lines but seeing this more as a career acknowledgement than being about a specific performance
#oscars#oscars 2025#txt.me#also hiiii hello yeah im not dead just studying <3 gonna get to all the messages later today maybe tomorrow#thanks for always checking in i love being the most online person ever that half a day off the platform has people going this bitch DEAD#love u people in my phone hashtag justice for denis villeneuve and dunetwo
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i would trust my instincts but they lie to me like i lie to you
#this song works for both of them i think but im envisioning it as one for keith#denying himself the option to admit he likes lance bc he doesn't know how to love someone like lance who is so full of love#anyway i hope u all like the colored in version of the comics maybe i will do more !! who's to say who's to know#my art#voltron#klance#vld kalnce#vld#also once again just ripping off heynhay's link to song with additional lyrics in the description what can i say u inspire me <3
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slytherin!kaiser...
#or maybe more of a ravenclaw?#no idea but im thinking#dgmw i hate jkr but i cant deny that hogwarts aus are so much fun#ness i understand u#♡ ; alice's tea party
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Nanna's Nameday presents from an undisclosed source post-Trespasser:
Irving's will, lovingly modified, you guessed it, a week before he died under mysterious circumstances.
Her grandfather's will, lovingly modified a week before he died under mysterious circumstances.
Loghain's will, lovingly modified a week before he died under mysterious circumstances (sorry Anora, take it up in probate court).
Arl Eamon's skull, lovingly delivered to Amaranthine a week after he died under somewhat less mysterious circumstances.
#this will be added to. that is a threat. we've still got 4 years to work with.#im mostly kidding about the skull. maybe a drawing of it...#i love loghain but solas cant forgive the alienage situation#nothing for alistair bc he didnt die under mysterious circumstances. he's just weirdly denied service at every tavern.
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your post about assen 2015 reminded me. the way current marc would NEVERRRR let that maybe slip (until like several months later at some random interview being like ‘yeah i lied i was pissed :3’) like… trulyyyyyy so much comes back to 2015/post sepang trauma. genuinely a marc marquez nexus event
it literally DID remind me of that quote i pulled yesterday from marc about the pecco alex aragon thing where he was like look ive been there ive had a mic shoved in my face while i was steamed postrace and ive said the wrong thing... like idk in assen hes TRYING to neutralize the potential quote and the perception of a feud BUT hes upset about not getting the win and he lets his mouth run away from him. while VALE knows enough (and maybe still likes marc enough) to keep his mouth SHUT. and marc i think begins to learn this lesson hereeeee
#him basically saying that their relationship had changed by assen (july of 2015) while valeeee denies it (idk how truthfully! but maybe !)#is like. theres a lot to unpack there#now do i think marc thought sepang would happen NO. and they kept doing cooldown lap grabby hands etc but its interesting to me#that a somewhat petulant marc mightve said smth in the moment that vale mightve. taken him at his word about.#(podcast voice we had a FIGHT at ASSEN where he was acting like a CHILD)#OR. hes telling the truth and it isnt a weird half divorce its the REAL ONE. and its from MARC'S SIDE...#but then im like he still had the BIKESSSSS he was still saying HIIIIIIII....#motogp#callie speaks#asks#assen 2015
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dew, as a rule, does not purr on command for anyone
it was a very long time after he joined ghost that he purred in front of anyone at all
quietly, and buried under the louder rumbles of ifrit and aether. and eventually louder
and in a last ditch effort one of the first few times dew was doing everything he could think of to get rid of that thousand-yard, unresponsive stare in mountain's eyes, he started purring. loud as he could. he felt ridiculous, but it worked faster than anything else he'd tried
so when mountain crawls into his lap and buries his head against dew's chest and asks him, purr?
well. dew purrs for him.
#dorito.txt#im in my feelings again and you're all going to hear about it#dissociative mountain means everything to me btw.#but yeah Of Course dew is gonna purr when mountain asks.#maybe he's dissociating and needs some grounding. dew can't in good conscience deny him that#especially when he comes and *asks* for it#probably mountain just wants to snuggle and listen to dew rumble. but there's always a chance...
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GUYSSSSS
IM DOING FLIPS. WILL IS BACK. WE ARE SO BACK GUYS.
AND KIERARKTINA. I MISS THEM ALL THE TIME IM STARVED FOR POLYCULE CONTENT.
AND THOMASTAIR!!! AND CLACE!!! im going CRAZY
and LUKE AND JOCELYN IN THE PAST ??? im REALLY hoping its during the circle time because i always find stories about the early days of the circle SO interesting. oh but i bet it will be ANGSTYY. im SO intrigued about them
cover reveal tomorrow!!!!
#tsc#the shadowhunter chronicles#cassandra clare#better in black#thomastair#jordelia#wessa#kierarktina#clace#do anna and ariadne have a ship name???#i dont even know RAHH#anna lightwood#ariadne bridgestock#jemma#sebastian…:#sebastian morgenstern#not excited to see him again but i cant deny that it will surely be interesting#something to do with ash maybe???#sizzy#ALSO#JOCELYN AND LUKE IN THE PAST??#ANGSTTT I KNOW IT WILL BE#BUT IM SO EXCITED#jocelyn fairchild#luke garroway
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i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand
#me when im the only person on the bus wearing a mask: i should make a furry plaguesona#its hard to explain bc. most of the time i try NOT to give my characters a 'strong' theme like making their whole design around#one thing like apples or even broad stuff like baking or cottagecore.. idk if its partly for flexibility or because i cant imagine them#making it their whole personality. not bc i find it cringe or overblown but more like ive learned to associate design with character depth#i had a cutesy uwu persona for most of highschool because i thought it would make me more. likeable? easy to remember? since#memorable character designs are easy to recognize. and one way of doing that is simplifying it with a theme or symbol so you form an#association. but since im a real person its exhausting keeping up that appearance all the time and denying myself things when they dont#fit my 'aesthetic' or 'theme.' i think ive grown past that bc i just collect stuff because i think it looks cool and dont let myself dwell#on how it might 'fit' with my image. but i cant help feeling bad doing it to my own characters bc it feels like im making them too one#dimensional. despite knowing that theyre not real and design alone doesnt reflect depth i cant help feeling like its wrong#despite that i love seeing motifs because it feels like it reflects the characters soul and paradoxically gives them depth. it makes them#interesting to look at too and honestly its pretty fun combining things that fall under a similar category when designing#i struggle find a balance between those two things#actually this reminds me of noelles christmas theme.. i dont remember her saying anything abt liking christmas despite a lot of#her design and character tying back to it. it makes me wonder if she would have feelings about that or doesnt think abt it too hard#or if its like a matching family shirts situation and shes just going along with it??#maybe i should just do whatever i want with my character designs since theyre not real and im thinking abt it too hard#although. this probably has something to do with deep seated identity issues huh#yapping#oc talk#oc
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I'm not trying to come across as like 'I'm not a sheeple' but I'm not sure if this is a 'growing up autistic' or 'growing up kind of poor thing' or maybe it's my parents influences but I really have realised over the years that designer/luxury brands hold like really little sway for me?
And that also includes like brands that aren't designer/luxury but also are considered desirable it's just sort of like 'ok i understand why im meant to find this desirable but why tho'
#I think also in general i've been always sort of... divorced from trends and stuff#so maybe that's kind of it like im vaugely aware of what's 'trending' but im generally just like 'ok and does it apply to my life?'#like i do appreciate quality when i see it#and i won't deny there aren't brands i like but also yeah idk
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