#maybe im a little ashamed at how i do it or show it bc i dont think i really know how

[ganondoodle]

i gotta admit, i do feel a little .. cheated on? i guess, or jealous perhaps, that i seem to have to work so hard just to get me to draw, not even anything of substance, or a lot, i always undersell how much time it took me to draw soemthing bc i ... am embarassed about some half assed doodle taking me 5 hours. i feel ashamed of taking so long for everything.

i am taking forever for the totk rewrite that i dont even know if its any good (im more confident about my design skills than writing..), despite constantly thinking about it i still havent properly started on the rant script (its not even art ..), and my comic that i still want to continue .. i havent updated in months? a year now? (i have NOT lost interest in it, i am daydreamign and working on it in my head still..)

maybe thats a selfish thing to admit to feeling, but man, i am so fuckign jealous, i always feel like i should be able to, i KNOW i am not shit at everything, but i cant get it OUT; like back in school when my teachers told me i am not horrible, i am actually pretty good, "i know you can do this, you have the skill." while meant to be uplifting, sicne i always think (or rather, FEEL like) i am bullshitting everything and nothing i make/write is actually any good or knows what its talkign about, it also felt like ... an accusation? like i am purposfully not doing it, i am not doing enough, i am holding back somehow, like they are asking me to stop holding back, and i just look at the ground not knowing what to do or say.

and i HATE wasting time, i cant stand looking at the clock and realizing i have been doodling back and forth on this one thing for 4 hours, and now i have to go to bed. no progress. nothing to show. nothing to feel accomplished. its not always, of course, but way WAY too many times ...

i see others churn out so much stuff, high quality stuff, and jsut think .. i should be able to do that too, i have seen myself be able to do it but its random times once or twice a year when i focus on one piece like i had gone mad- i really dont like how resentful it can make me feel towards people i dont know and dont deserve it (i do not actually hate or send hate, its just that .... shitty, shitty feeling)

hopefully this will be the last time for a longer time of me doing this type of post, but i felt it so strongly right now, it needed out

[ma3mae]

Don't be so annoyed, love!

Summary: He's so annoying sometimes but it's ok because you love him 😭 (HC w/ Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo)

Genre: Crack, fluff, lowkey suggestive themes

Warnings: 🗿 we ignoring the red flags bc we can. also mentions of farting bc dazai 🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿

A/N: u cant tell me that they wouldnt do any of these things ok 💀also kunikida's got a small drabble out of nowhere but im always wildin when it comes to him 😭😭😭😭😭

Dazai Osamu

u cant tell me that as soon as hes rly comfortable in ur relationship that he WOULD NOT be ashamed of just farting outta nowhere honestly 💀

Like yall r just chilling on the couch, watching smth and he just lets it all out bc why should he hold himself back 🗿

Hes at home 🗿

But bro's lucky he doesnt smell but 🗿🗿🗿🗿 wheres the warning from him

u give him the side eye and hes like "What? Are you perhaps ashamed of human nature, bella?" like ok we'll leave him alone but he ruined the emotional moment of the movie yall were watching 😭😭😭

Is also the type to prob leave his socks and clothes lying around

It got better over time but he still sometimes does it bc old habits die hard i guess 🧍

once got so bad you just collected all of his clothes and put them infront of the door so he'd have no choice but to pick all of that up and do it himself 💀

would try to talk his way out of it in the beginning but also felt kinda bad after the relationship got more and more serious

So now hes a good bf/ husband and does it himself 🤩 (with the occasional sock under the couch 💀)

drinking habits would take a bit longer to be fully gone, he'd learn to regulate it over time

He's learned to warn you tho when he thinks that a rly shitty day might hit him bc work and more

sometimes you take the day off and do something together to take his mind off of it

Sometimes you're at work and a "im home" text without hearts will come and you know whats wrong

would feel more comfortable over time letting you take care of him

will definitely show you his appreciation for you the next days in one way or the other 🤩💅

talking about living together, yall would often have to sit down to talk about his spendings bc our man cant save for ANYTHING

Used to often come home with little things like "Look, this reminded me of you!" and it's a plushie of a cat or something

Started off cute and small but got dramatic like him really fast

ngl he came home with a expensive necklace u liked when the both of u went shopping but u didnt buy it bc.. she expensive...

like he was charming as always with his "Tada! Guess what I've got you?~ 😋" ".... Not the necklace...? 😧" "🤩 How did you guess that right, bella??" "😨😨"

THIS man right here wouldnt even hesitate to just right out fking steal shit for you if u want it bc thats how much Power u got over him he'd never admit that tho sksks... OK maybe in bed...

he'd def either blackmail or bribe chuuya into helping him with stealing

probably even has access to his bank account and you'd only realize that when he'd stand infront of your door, asking where that "f*cking b*stard" is

you'd legit have to mediate their convo or else the whole building you live in would be gone immediately skks 💀

Chuuya likes u so he wouldnt make yall pay for it bc he knows that dazai's nearly broke 24/7 and u dont deserve to pay for his fault 💅

it would be enough to destroy his pride to make him obey chuuya for like 2 weeks or sum cue evil cackling from said red head

queen of Gaslightining nr. 1 😭 sometimes its for the dumbest arguments tho like why its okay to smack your lips while eating 😭

"I don't know it's just really noisy and kinda annoying for me?" "But Bella, that shows just how tasty your food is or are going to deny that fact and say that I should not show my appreciation for it? What if for me personally it's a sign of a good meal?" "Yeah but doesnt need to be that for me. Also you can show your appreciation for it in other ways like just simply saying its delicious?"

"But actions speak louder than words, my love." "YEAH, well then what do you want then???"

Its just a whole shit show and would (lmao it WILL) end in him giving you just shameless bedroom eyes and well you know whats gonna be after dinner lmaooo 🤡😭

Also also i do believe that hes not the best cook at first but hes a real fast learner so it prob would only take him a week of consuming cooking videos and reading books and BOOM

"Samu, is this a 3 course meal you're cooking because that's a LOT of ingredients in the kitchen." "Sssh just sit down, wash yourself up and enjoy the evening, my love! I'll call you when I'm done 💕"

Manages to somehow still give you some snacks and drinks in between the cooking 😭 with some sneaked in kisses on your shoulder or lips 😏

If you go and hug him from behind, he'll be MELTING

Like nuzzling your face into his back while wrapping your arms around his torso, you feel the slight rumble in his chest as he chuckles at your cute action 😭

"If you want to eat something then you should take a break from being so cute, you know? Don't want the food to go bad from maybe getting a bit distracted if you stay here for a bit longer." "Ew, are you implying you'd start something infront of our food??"

"... Well, I can just have a whole meal by myself but you'd be left hungry so it's your choice 😋"

🗿 the way he doesnt need long to be turned on is alwaya amazing to u but thats just how whipped he is and bro is a whole snack himself so WHOS complaining 😋💅

food's is guaranteed to taste heavenly but if he knows youve got time, then he'd make excuses to taste your cooking like

"Samu, it's been a while since I've gotten to taste your cooking." "Aww, was it that delicious for you? Hmm but I actually prefer your cooking!"

Time for some cooking and baking lessons together, eoow 💅 with the occasional make out session because the sauce found it's way on your lips and he just had to clean it up with his 😭😋

honestly despite all of some of the difficulties, dazai would never fail in making you feel loved in his own way even tho u gotta peel back some layers 🗿

At the end of the day, his bear hugs and many kisses are smth u love to come back home to after work

also doesnt say it but would def be a house husband for u 🤩 with the occasional "whoops gotta go and do smth quick" text and he comes home at like midnight skks bc the agency needs his cute ass 😋 but dw dinner's ready and house chores have been done so enjoy ur evening after work, zurlie 💅

dont kill me for this but id give him a 7.5/10 😭

Obsessed with him and i love him but it would prob be really really exhausting to get him to FULLY trust you and its honestly understandable

Also he kinda makes me feel like i'd have to walk on eggshells around him because you often dont really know what hes thinking 😭😭

could smile at u while thinking "why u so ugly" 😭😭

also bro is so smooth, its scary like he'd prob make us forget immediately that hes trying to find out everything about us(why he sounding like a stalker 😨😨 wouldnt want him to be MY stalker 😨😨 or would I?? 🤩) MY DELULU BRAIN 👹

Doppo Kunikida

😨 Cleaning maniac

personification of the verse "I can COOk, i can CLEAN" (i know its "dont" instead of can but we all know hes like perfect house husband material... maybe a bit too perfect 💀💀💀👹)

If u forgot a cup on the dinner table, he'd legit take the cup, put it in ur hand and be like "why did u leave it there if u r not using it"

WILL def rant about why u shouldnt do it

Honestly huge nagging mom vibes 💀💀

At the beginning of moving in together, he'd just clean everything without a word whatsoever

Like you wanna help around the house too? NUH UH, he already finished everything up.

Vaccuming the house? Done

Swiping? Lmao be sure to not arrive at home after work around that time bc u gotta stand at the door and WAIT until the floor is dried 💀😭

Dishes have been done like at 5 in the fucking morning 💀👹

Bro thankfully doesn't wash clothes that often (gotta be careful of the water bill 😭) but there r days where he legit throws his clothes nearly everyday bc the worse the mission the more blood yk 🗿🗿

U had to legit drag his ass to the couch to talk to him bc he gonn be deep clean the house if someone doesnt stop him

"Kuni, you literally don't need to do EVERYTHING by yourself! I'm also here to help and frankly, it feels like you're my maid sometimes 😞" " Don't worry. Everything fits perfectly in my time plan and since you sometimes work overtime, it's better if I do a bit more of it."

... "🗿 You are legit saving this city from being destroyed so often and I just sit in the office, bro 🤡" "I understand your argument but I have seen the way you look tired so often so let me take a bit of your burden"

He knows how to make us go "🥺"

The argument prob went on for an hour until yall settled on making a plan on who does what on which days and if someone's gotta work overtime or sum then the other takes a bit of it over and so on

So in the end its alrighty 🎉

Groceries and so on are never a problem except it sometiems turns out like going shopping with your mom because...

"Omg Kuni, look!!" *holds up cute decoration* "We could put this on our dinner table! Isn't it cute 🥺??"

Bro just takes it from you and looks at the price. Legit gives you the 🤨 look

"That's 937,32 Yen (around 6€) 🤨🤨. For a tiny statue of a dog? We could find it somewhere way cheaper." "🥺 But it's a limited edition and it reminds me of you bc its got the same fur color 🥺. It's even got ur glasses on 🥺"

Bro will say no but the day after you spot the dog on the table 🤡

Yall lying in bed together and cuddle so give him a peck on the lips while killing him with your cute ass smile (U MURDERER 🗿🗿)

"What was that for?" "Hmmm, well I just noticed that said statue magically appeared on our table. You think it was a cute long haired fairy with glasses and a grumpy look 😋? "

He tries really hard to deadpan at you but the corner of his lips still tug upwards as he pinches your nose

"Well, sometimes its not so bad to buy a little extra, I guess."

If theres a market nearby with some really good deals then you'd either be dragged together with him or he'd come home after work with tons of bags

Always surprises you in how good he is at negotiating about the price

Sometimes you gotta stop him from arguing with some of the shop keepers because some decided to sell some items way too overpriced 🗿🗿🗿

you once found him stay up all night researching about reasonable prices for veggies... 😨

and cue to yall standing in the morning infront of said shop keeper getting absolutely destroyed in an argument by your man.. 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Well guess who even got some extra free stufd because kuni terrified the shit out of him 😋

"Thank you for your hard work in harvesting and selling us these delicious vegetables. My wife is quite a fan of them." Your husband said as he put the money into the shop keepers shaky hands, face red in embarassement as he squeezed out a "It's nothing." between his teeth. His face paled at the words "We'll see each other next Monday. Until then have a great week." leaving your man's mouth as he gave him a friendly smile before taking your hand and going to the next stall,only for you to sheepishly wave goodbye to the shop keeper before going with your husband.

"Well, you gave him quite the scare back there." You said as you felt him squeeze your hand a bit tighter, the bustling of the array of people only increasing by minutes. "Someone had to correct his ways. It would help his sales but only if he's willing to take that advice seriously." he simply answered as he looked at the contents of the bag, counting the ingredients left to purchase.

"Well atleast we got ourselves more than we needed so we can go home and call it a day." "Who are you?" Chuckling at your surprised face out of the corner of his eyes, he continued to make his way towards the end of the market, to finally reach your car.

"I thought over your words and I do believe it would be nice to" laze around together "for once in a while. Everything in the house has already been done, so maybe we could try out that one series you've been talking about. The reviews seem to be quite positive about it."

He just lets a breathy laugh escape his lips at your squeal while you begin to rant on why its gonna be so good watching it and

UUUUGGHHGH 😭😭😭😭 GIVE ME KUNIKIDAAAAAAAGHHHHHH 😭😭😭🤡🤡👹👹👹

honestly there are like no real red flags like his red flags are disguised green flags and yall can legit work through it easily

The only thing would be his tendency to overwork himself and it could lead to an argument but never a real fight because hes pretty easy to reason with

Like even when hes stubborn, he'll STILL listen to your words because the many good things about him that he'd always make sure to take your words seriously 🗿🗿

which sometimes makes it tempting to tease him bc we can lowkey understand why dazai easily tells him the most outrageous shit and your man just casually writes it down in his notebook 😭

"That damn idiot managed to fool me again by telling me that aliens have been among us (AMOGUS 👹) and that the goverment has been hiding it from us for decades." "I thought you already knew about that tho?"

"What" "What?"

"Wait so they're real?"

Cue to him showing him a video (that dazai sent to you a week ago just for this moment 😭)

Lmao dont tease him too much tho but dw, he cant stay mad at you at all lmao 😋💅

Honestly a 8.5/10 bc his nagging scares me 💀😭

Edogawa Ranpo

"Greatest Detective" more like "Queen of Gaslightining" 👹👹

Everyone knows hes way too obsessed with sweets but how the hell is his teeth actually still existing 🗿🗿

ngl i believe fukuzawa would prob sometimes just randomly ask him if he brushed his teeth bc he lowkey lowkey raised him ok 🤡

Ranpo is all nice like "yup, i did." but when u ask him, hes a whole b*tch about it

"Hah??? Why would you ask me that?? Do you really believe that I'd be so dumb to forget about brushing my teeth? If i can solve the most difficult cases then why would you assume that brushing my teeth might something that I'd forget, huuuhh??"

His gaslightining used to work at the beginning of ur relationship but sooner or later its not hard to notice his patterns 🗿

Like yas ok, he could just put up a whole ass strategy in how to not get u to notice that he didnt brush em at all but bro

Hes too lazy

And hes a sucker for attention 😩 like he might be "annoyed" if u nag at him bc of smth but he absolutely loves it bc its just one of his many ways to get ur attention without him having to actively get up and get it for himself 🤡🤡🤡🤡

Hes a huge clown but i love him 😭

Dazai tends to forget his socks or smth lying on the floor but THIS mf right here just doesnt rly care 😭

Like that was the first thing u noticed when u entered his apartment 🤡

Its not right out messy on a disgusting degree, its more like theres tons of trinkets n shit from cases or just random candy wrap hidden under the couch 💀💀💀

The epitome of "I can do it tomorrow" bc bro doesnt forget, he just IGNORES that he has to do it 😭

might take a while to actually get him to yk do smth around the house

used to prob only sleep and shower at his apartment and thats it💀

But when hes whipped then hes whipped and hed actually try his best to help around the house

Key word "try" 🤡

Like its often tbh accompanied by "okay, ill do it but only if i get smth"

A MANCHILD, I SAY 👹👹👹👹

But there are days when he legit deep cleans everything by himself bc either you had a bad day or yall had a fight 👹👹

still would whip out the "now gimme something, please 😋" if yall cuddle after a fight and he cleaned and tidied everything up for his love 🤩

doesnt always have to be candy yk HEUEHEUEHEUUE 👹👹👹👹👹

also its not a surprise but dont let him near the kitchen

HE COULD

HE RLY COULD COOK SO WELL

Like he had only cooked for ONE time and it was like a fever dream

Bc u legit had a fever and he cooked chicken soup but uhm 🗿

he cooked it so good??? Like veggies n meat cut and cooked up nicely?

Broth kicking in real hard?

Like? "What the hell? I thought you couldn't cook??"

Bro is about to put that spoon fr away 💀

"I'm not so heartless to let you starve and I definitely wont be giving you some cheap soup either. I just looked it up on the internet and followed the instructions so you gotta get well soon because I miss your cooking 🤩🤩"

Are we flattered?? Gurl, maybe but he'd def know if we tried to make ourselves be sick to taste his cooking again

Bro only offers to help when it comes to baking 😪😮‍💨😮‍💨

His only help is licking the dough or chocolate outta the bowl or smth 😀

would sneak in many kisses tho bc he likes u and sweet stuff is just sugar overload for him and he loves it 🤩

I think one of the important factors for him in a relationship is that fukuzawa approves of you? Since he does value his opinion over his own intellect

Like bro trusted him when it came to Fukichi and other ppl 💀

fukuzawa could legit go "aliens r evil" and ranpo would be like "ok everyone, aliens are evil!!!!" 🗿🗿🗿

honesrly i dont think why there would be a reason for fukuzawa not to accept you (if there is one then time to take 100 steps back and reflect on urself 💀)

He'd prob be impressed on how u even fell in love with him bc.. its ranpo💀

petty, clingy, can be manipulative ( but never with ill intentions), would legit prank ur ass bc he can, impatient and quickly bored af

But hes attentive, kind, can be patient when it comes down to it, empathetic (depends sksks) (also thank u fukuzawa for kinda ramming that into his head 🤩), affectionate in his own way (a sucker for physical touch but would NEVER right out admit it 🗿) and so much more honestly

there arent any real red flags tbh (might come as a surprise for some ppl)

Maybe maybe he'd obviously have a bit of difficulty fully opening up and i do believe there might be times where he once or twice legit deducted what ur feelings r for him bc hes used to being careful around people and especially bc in case someonw could randomly target the agency

Or is some kinda criminal in general

But honestly when hes learned to trust you then you know youve got yourself someone loyal 💅 and i mean FR loyal

personal favorite hc and honestly prob canon since we've already seen it : he'd not be ashamed to throw hands at someone when he thinks you're being insulted or harassed

And with hands i mean exposing them to 100% until they are pissing their pants and begging him to leave them alone 🤩🤩🤩

Also also, gives me off a similar vibe to dazai with the "maybe having to walk on eggshells" around them but ranpo doesnt make you feel as watched tbh as dazai which would kinda make it easier to talk to

but bro isnt as smooth as him so whOOP 💀💀

Overall iconic and a solid 8/10 🤩🤩🤩💕💕💕

The random ratings i gave them LMAO 💀💀💀 hope u like em 🗿

[dnpbeats]

See this is what makes me doubt that dnp are still a couple. If Dan was really so deeply closeted and dealing with such extreme internalized homophobia that he wasn't even out to their close friends, then idk how they could have kept their relationship alive. Maybe Phil is just a more patient person than I am, but if my partner felt so ashamed of me that they kept me a secret from everyone in our lives for an entire decade, I would not have stuck around. Especially if I was out to people in my personal life and they weren't. If Dan was really acting like the thought of being with Phil was repulsive online AND pretending to be straight to literally everyone in their personal life while they were still together...then Phil must have had no sense of self worth lol. I don't think that's the case though. I think either they broke up in 2011 or Dan exaggerated how closeted he actually was. I lean towards the latter but what do I know 🤷🏻‍♀️

okay maybe dan and phil are just built different but genuinely idk how they would have been able to stay living together/as close as they are if they broke up. like let's say they split in 2011, they would've had no real reason to keep living together, and frankly at that time no significant reason to even keep working together! like the bbc wanted just phil and he was the one who said he wanted dan to do the radio show with him. also we know from BIG they were still together when they started at the bbc

also while dan was more closeted out of the two, I think that people don't give phil a lot of agency in the situation and act like he was only closeted bc of dan, but imo that isn't the case. frankly if phil wanted to have come out before 2019 he could have. sure it would've made people talk but like that shipped (no pun intended lol) had long since sailed. phil coming out on his own would not have been "proof" of anything so long as dan was still in the closet. also since coming out dan is the one who has been saying things abt their relationship (in BIG + then in his press for YWGTTN and WAD) whereas phil hasn't said jack shit lol! I think that phil is a private person who knows when to shut his mouth

I also agree that d&p must've been out to some people in their lives as a couple (i.e. phil's family, wirrow and bryony, pj and sophie, ian and his wife maybe?). and who knows maybe Adam at some point as I do think they still saw him. but there was a long stretch of time between 2012 when they had just moved to London and were starting out a career with the bbc until when they came out (like im trying to say that just bc I think they weren't out to Adam in 2012 doesn't mean I think they weren't out to anybody ever between that time and 2019)

but I believe that d&p made the decision to be closeted (to most people) together. just because dan was more heavy on the denial I don't think that that indicates that phil wanted to be out and he was just going along with whatever dan was doing. like personally I agree that some of what dan said was a little intense (the grandma comment haunts me), but I don't think it was a situation where he and phil never had a conversation about how they were going to address questions about their relationship and then phil just woke up one day to see all this shit dan had said about him on the internet, yk?

[weirdfreakshow]

YIPPEEE COPY N PASTE BC I ALREADY WROTE IT IN YOUR ASKS 10 MINS AGO!!

okay, hear me out in s6 i feel like Grian would have a huge addiction to sh (due to past yhs/kov and probably family stuff that hasnt been resolved) and he would do it anywhere he could find privacy and time, sometimes he'd just let the blood drip off and dry because he was so desperate for the pain and harm, he did it alot around mumbo's place alot simply because he liked being around mumbo, and blood blends in with redstone (imo) and thats where we transition(🏳️‍⚧️/j) to mumbo, he has always had an odd fascination with blood imo. also mumbo has awful self asteem thinks he is shitty all the time and thinks hes dumb if he fails even 1 thing (was deff pressured as a child+labled gifted and got burnt out), he also deff has seen some stuff on the internet and thats how he heard of self harm, over the time it became a thing that he did more often, definitely not as much as Grian though, But mumbo always kept a stainless steel razor blade in one of his pockets if he ever needed it. One day Grian was cutting himself in a more risky area late at night (11pm-1am)and mumbo caught him (in Sahara's redstone area maybe? idk) grian was cutting with a super shitty blade but he still managed to get good results. mumbo noticing the shitty blade walks up to grian and this scares the SHIT out of grian bc hes been caught by not so nice ppl b4, he thinks hes about to get yelled at or something but instead mumbo pulls a new blade out of his pocket and gives it to grian says something like "use this instead, i dont want you to get tetanus or something" bc i feel like hes a bitch abt being healthy in that way/lh(paranoid) grian took the blade thankfully but also shocked bc like mumbo jumbo? self harm? thats kinda gay😕/j (im a fag dw) also mumbo was also wearing short sleve so his cuts and scars were showing too (he took off his hoodie(its night hes not wearing his suit) to show grian "hey same dude"). Grian unwrapped the blade and asked he he could continue, MJ said yes and pulled out his own blade and joined grian.

Thats how they had their first cutting sesh together:3

HCs for this: Grian usualy does bean cuts and Mumbo does a bunchh of styros / cat scratches, he's done bean b4 but it made him almost pass out. Grian was deff Scene once and showed off his scars. Grian and Mumbo get high together all the time (and maybe a little toutchy 🤭🤭🤭).

ough i wanna make this like . a mini fic or something

also Grian and Taurtis totaly cut eachother for the funzies all the time

this is so big brain, and so extensive I don't feel like I'd be able to add anything substantial to it, but I'd like to say that I just love the image of Mumbo always carrying one or two new, fresh razors on the pocket of his suit. Something about it, about not really feeling ashamed of cutting but still having them hidden under the sleeves of his pristine suit. I also think of him having a strange fixation with everything red. From redstone, to red foods, to blood. Watching the cuts form, especially if they're clean, made with a sharp enough object it's just like cutting through butter. He finds it so satisfying in such a strange way, scratches his brain that perfect way he didn't know he needed.

Grian, shaky and afraid of being judged before Mumbo just places a shiny razor in his palm. So good.

Might not be accurate at all, but just thinking of .. Cuts giving Mumbo a sense of euphoria while they give Grian a sense of control.

"Mumbo has seen some shit on the internet" oh I KNOW that guy watched copious amounts of gore. He likes watching beans cuts but he just doesn't have the endurance to handle them, unlike Grian. A total expert, huh.

Can't help but acknowledge the mentions of yhs. I'm sure Grian learned from Sam, i KNOW Grian found Sam cutting more than once. Sam would be COVERED in scars too, always. He pushed Taurtis to cut for the first time too, insulting him in so many ways that taught him to hate himself, hate his own body ♡ so much fun

[rasin-c00ldude]

hey guys i REALLY need 2 rant about a certian person and some certian ships that really rub me the wrong way and i need 2 argue them.

ok ik i literly just made like 2 post but i had the joan x topher shipper blocked bc seeing them exsist made me have a srs mental breakdown and i get unbleavibly upset seeing them and when i unblock them 2 see what their up 2 i see ivan x lizze and topher x frida..... did they watch the show like do we know the same ivan???

"Ivan the Terrible is a disgusting, hateful, misogynistic incel, who despises all women for refusing to have sex with him." "He is a misogynistic incel, who hates women because he can't get laid." "I hate all women. I hate them because I want to have sex with them but they won't have sex with me because I hate them." "Ivan stated that he agrees with Abe's disdain toward Joan and added that he hates women for not wanting to have sex with him."

it literly states this so many times on the wiki and he even says it himself like he quite literly gets no bitches. just because lizzie is also outcasted 2 join the bleacher creaychues doesnt mean ivans probaly gona treat her any difren, still a woman. also like, maybe hcs speaking but lizze gives off like sweet but fucking insane lesbian who hates boys in a girlboss way (plz like understand what im talking about) and ivans just a shithead who thinks hes cooler than he actaully is and hates everyone, just doesnt work out in my head i dunno.

about topher x frida..

tophers is ashamed of his haritage and so tries his absolute best 2 be the most sportive nice guy he can and distance himself from his clone father, he literly CHANGED HIS NAME. BUT THE JOKE IS HE ISNT. HES A HORRIBLE STINKY INCEL TROLL WHO HATES EVERYONE. HE LITERLY SAYS IN THE SEASON 2 FINALLY BE4 HES ABOUT 2 GET BRAINWASHED THAT "HE THINKS WOMAN SHOULDNT WEAR "BE4 GETTING CUT OFF, SO HES LITERLY AN MISOGYNIST HE LITERLY BASICLY SAYS IT. also frida is literly a badass who would not put up with tophers incel bullshit like im 99 precent sure they dont have 1 positive interaction if they do id be happy 2 see it tho. the poster art doesnt count hes literly just laying next 2 her they arnt even looking st eachother,, FRIDAS ALSO A LESBIAN????????? SHE LIKES GIRLS!!!!!!!!!

i can quite literly argue about how topher is gay and has a crush on abe for DAYS IM SO FUCKING FOR REAL RIGHT NOW I MEAN IT. im not discriminating against ships but like i am. idk if this is the fagot hardcore ivan x vlad in me talking but going out of ur way 2 be hetro in a CLONE HIGH COMUNITY (like u know what show ur talkimg about??) makes me more than a little mad so i just needed 2 like talk about it (also if any1 wants my evidence on how topher is gay 4 abe in2 a little esay id be soo happy 2 share cough cough)

[tadpolesonalgae]

i know you've probably gotten a dozen of these cbmthy asks with petty sentiments but GOD do i want to see a scene of azriel just getting gagged by seeing reader be at ease and comfortable with bas or eris. two people he clearly doesn't approve of and have spent significantly less time with reader than he has, yet seem to make reader feel comfortable enough to bicker around and laugh with. i know in recent chapters az & reader seem to slowly become more friends(?) i guess??? but the whole dynamic is still very stilted and jagged and ajdhsjajsjs. part of me just wants azriel to hurry up and fall in love with reader just to have reader give up on him so that we can see him grovel. but also part of me just wants to let this mess simmer and enjoy the angst 🤩

i get azriel's thing of him not owing anyone his affections, bc i also relate to the uncomfortable feeling of someone close to you/in your social circle crushing over you so blatantly when you don't reciprocate those feelings. but also...... he was very unnecessarily dismissive and asshole-like to her the whole time during cbmthy 😭

im still hanging on for the azriel x reader endgame and but i hope we still get to see more of eris 🫣 like we get to see their platonic bond deepen? even if it's probably ooc for the eris you portrayed in cbmthy but secretly i wish we get to see him have a soft side for reader that no one expects 😔😔 and that confusing literally everyone in the inner circle lmao. like eris comes to the night court for something and he's still wearing the fox ring...

‘but GOD do i want to see a scene of azriel just getting gagged by seeing reader be at ease and comfortable with bas or eris.’

🤭 wouldn’t that be a fun scene 🤭

‘part of me just wants azriel to hurry up and fall in love with reader just to have reader give up on him so that we can see him grovel.’

I’m both anxious and excited to write that specific scene? It’s still very far off since I think it will most likely happen towards the end of cbmthy? I think? But the scene I have in mind, I think the chapter if happens in will probably be one that will take me a while to write since I’ll want to get the emotion right and make sure everything’s said that should be said? If that makes sense?

But I agree, I’m on your side with that ☹️ why can’t he just fall in love with reader now and then they can spend these six months together happily 😭 they could like get a cabin over solecist, or like, get each other cute presents for Starfall? Like Az picks out a necklace or bracelet for her and she gets him some cuff links or a pretty tie and they end up accidentally kind of matching? That would be so cute!! 😭😭😭 ugh, if only things were better between them, they could at least do it platonically, but no 😞

‘ but also part of me just wants to let this mess simmer and enjoy the angst 🤩’

Oh don’t worry about mess! I think things are about to get thrown about a little now that reader’s in on the court affairs, because obviously she’s going to want to help by reading through all those books that everyone else would find boring and tedious ☹️🧡💛

‘but also...... he was very unnecessarily dismissive and asshole-like to her the whole time during cbmthy 😭’

Right? Reader didn’t even try to come into him or flirt with him 😭 like I get she’s a bit flustered around him which makes it kind of obvious but it’s not like she’s trying to constantly get him to spend time with her, or giving him gifts, or intentionally making her feelings known since she’s so ashamed of them 😭 Az give her a break man ☹️

‘like we get to see their platonic bond deepen? even if it's probably ooc for the eris you portrayed in cbmthy but secretly i wish we get to see him have a soft side for reader that no one expects 😔😔’

I don’t know about him showing platonic feelings to her openly, since i do think that would be a little ooc for how I’ve written him so far but who knows? Maybe he’ll change once he knows that reader knows about the Prison too? Or maybe he will show platonic feelings but in his own, Eris way 🤭

‘like eris comes to the night court for something and he's still wearing the fox ring...’

The fox ring hasn’t been forgotten 🫣 neither has the ring Eris gave to her, which I imagine reader will be keeping close in order to give herself some comfort so her magic doesn’t do something it’s not supposed to 😭

[vernard]

3, 7, 8, 9, 19 *heart hand emoji*

3.screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

Well now here i could put any post from the batfam tags.BUT TO BE SERIOUS. probably the time i saw someone theorising fucking Agatha Harkness to be dooms mom... i posted that one on my sideblog when i saw it but i truly never will get over it . idgaf that person was talking abt mcu instead of comics its brainrotted Even for the mcu

7.what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

Tim drake 💔 batfam guys really have just soured my opinions on alot of the bat characters... when i actually read comics i find myself being. mainly neutral on him. maybe liking him a little if its a really good comic. but his fans have just made me Haaaate him whenever i think of him while im not actively reading his stuff .i could also say jason todd here but i already mildly disliked him before the fans made me full on hate him

8.common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

UM. ok i might be killed on the cross for this but i think infamous iron man is ass. i dont get why so many people love it.... it just pissed me off when i read it bc like. idfk even keeping in mind dooms turned a new leaf it still all felt very ooc to me. GRANTED I DIDNT FINISH THE COMIC. i couldve missed important details in the issues i missed but to me all the choices for dooms characterization just... seemed like they came out of left field for me. i didnt enjoy it..!! also the fact that its another one of those comics that take away dooms scars to show hes a good guy now. 😐.

9.worst part of canon

only thing coming to mind atm is the whole . Valeria Skin Armour Thing . i think it really does just show a complete. lack of a grasp on dooms character... this post i rbed a few days ago criticizes it better than i ever could LOL

19.you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

head in my hands. spideypool.... i have a soft spot for it because i read those spiderman/deadpool comics back when i was first getting into reading comics regularly but. Wow do the fans piss me off.

[katebushmuncher]

oh great i didnt realise i was gonna run into fans like this IMMEDIATELY after starting the show so yeah louis was wrong in many ways in his relationship to lestat but he WAS NOT "the real abuser" you're not gonna DARVO ldpdl, mutual abuse does not exist and even tho yes its fiction so abuse dynamics dont have to be exactly true to life im still not gonna watch idiots turn the black man in an abusive relationship into the "raging narcissist" they wanna pigeonhole him into being.

firstly, take DSM diagnoses out of your mouth, secondly, yea louis contorts the truth (to himself too, remember? this show loves to rely on unreliability and the limitations of memory) but that doesn't make him lestat's tormentor ffs please THINK for a second before you hit post, and thirdly why are you so so so SO willing to make it seem like louis is the evil manipulator and lestat the poor, innocent, long-suffering (white) victim who cannot be to blame for his own actions because his heart was broken or some other banal shit?

louis was lured into a life of vampirism by lestat, with no real clear alternative, on the brink of his suicide- his lowest moment (while alive). he was in love with lestat but he says he did not "consider himself a homosexual at the time", while lestat had much more opportunities in his lifetime to accept his sexuality louis was just discovering his. we see this intertwined with his crisis of identity as a vampire, afraid to even say the word half the time, ashamed of it. so to say he had inhibitions using the word 'love' towards another man, is putting it lightly. he didn't lead lestat on, like some people might like to think, he loved him to the point of self-destruction, he forgave him after the physical and mental abuse he faced, and yet some people still want to misread the text and call him the narcissist in this scenario. Louis rightfully and at his own personal cost, had reservations saying "I love you" but not because he was trying to manipulate Lestat into a one-sided relationship, bc it put his life in danger to do so.

Lestat is his maker, his first love, Louis is hunted and consumed by him, under his influence but kept in the dark by him; he'll never shake the grasp that man has on his soul. Claudia and Daniel are correct in identifying the racial undertones of their relationship as hostile to him and clearly problematic, and Louis is reluctant to admit to this but he clearly knows if anyone else were in his shoes how wrong and fucked up it would be. unfortunately he is self-sacrificing and his self-respect has been literally beaten out of him so he loves lestat despite it all. i just can't see how you would mistake daniel's criticism "never tell a narcissist you love them" that he said about lestat during an interview (and maybe a little self-flagelation) to somehow be about the abuse recipient? i just can't fathom it actually

[sketchesandnonesense]

I feel like hell so I'm having profoundly Selfish thoughts today like

"I wonder if any doll makers would want to do a make-a-wish for my pathetic cancer riddled ass and make me a doll just right to my specifications as some kinda charitable christmas miracle"

Like

A doll is a very time consuming thing to make. And expensive. Theres a reason sculptors n customizers are expensive.

It's stupid to even think about.

Like yeah I'm 2 years into dealing with cancer and things are not looking Great if I'm entirely honest but I dont have an expiration date on my forehead and given the circumstances with the people in my life I am incredibly lucky.

So like.

I feel like a bad person even thinking about it.

Yknow?

Idk. Putting a cut just bc maybe it'll make me feel like I have SOME shame about overthinking this if that makes sense.

But I can't get the thought out of my head. Like.

Maybe in some fucked up way it could be mutually beneficial if they were one of those youtuber types or even just a smaller maker.

Doing something like bringing a cancer patient's dream doll to life could turn heads. Would make one hell of a good youtube video, for sure. Lol.

Worst thing is though is just. My dream doll is BB. Theres details I could alter and concede on and things but for the most part I want her to be directly like my sketches. Cartoony and simple.

I feel like I'm like a loser telling a sob story on deviantart saying my mom's uncle's hamster died n the only thing to help is free art from a stranger. A shameless choose-y beggar with a sob story.

But if you'll let me be alil melodramatic for a minute just so I can get it out of my system.

But

I've loved dolls all my life. Not always seen myself as much of a collector, really, but I love them. And one thing I always wanted was a doll that was Mine. Made exactly how I wanted, just for me. No hangups, no skimping on things, no compromises. It was a pipe dream. I wanted to be a doll maker so badly. But I was never good with physical crafts. They never came out right (rarely even came out GOOD at that). I tried and tried everything I could. Making plushies, clay, customizing pre-existing dolls, anything. Nothing worked. I just am not cut out for doll making.

So, I accepted this was something I needed a professional to do for me. And over the years I've trusted people with my characters and while I do adore the work I've gotten. None of it's ever Done It. Because I was always having to make a dozen little sacrifices. Having to account for the artist's style. Sometimes the design had to change to be more feasible and so it didnt cost as much. Sometimes it just straight up didnt turn out.

I remember as a kid I got enough christmas money to commission an itty bitty plush of my sonic OC from an expensive plush artist. I was so excited. I thought it was finally happening.

It was awful. Quality was mediocre at best. It was maybe 3 inches tall. And the eyes were this weird stiff fabric piece that kinda jutted out from the felt and looked glued on.

V petty side tangent, i know, but just kinda the first example where I tried to fufill this dream and it just. Fell through.

Its always still stuck with me through the years, trying again and again to make a doll, but all I have to show is boxes of half-used supplies im too ashamed to even look at.

And now I'm here again. Thinking about it.

I've said it before, but my past two years have been awful. 2023 was entirely eaten up by my chemo and radiation and recovering from having my entire stomach removed. Thought I was cancer free and was starting to find normal again. Then in january scans and biopsies I was told it came back. Liver, this time. This entire year has been trying different chemo drugs and scans and things looking up only to crash back down again.

And I'm so tired.

I actually was (technically still am) trying to commission someone to make my doll. Pay an artist properly like you should. I saved up and I figured I deserved it with everything. Im 27, I'm an adult, i can make my own decisions.

She didnt disclose she'd just moved. To a rural area. And was still struggling to get internet and plumbing situated. Or that there was much of a queue infront of me. Its my fault for not looking into it more and finding the practically defunct social medias and untouched-for-months trello page. I was promised a turnaround time within a month. That was back in august.

Anytime I check in there's always something new going wrong. Broken tablet pen, power outages, family stuff. I dont think she's a scammer or trying to make excuses. She's sweet. But im exhausted of waiting.

Im sort of just accepting I'm never seeing that money back, or getting my doll. The paypal protection will still let me charge back, but I'm not about to put a woman in her situation in the red, especially when she's got a kid to feed. Maybe she'll get done eventually, but if I can be morbid and dramatic, i think by that point BB would have to be a grave decoration.

And I can't bring myself to save up again hoping that maybe I can find another artist who MIGHT be able to bring her to life in the exact right way and maybe finally. FINALLY I can have this one thing in my life.

I guess it'd help for people who dont know jack shit if I actually showed the character on partially Why she'd have to be a christmas miracle.

Its not overly complicated or a really old Beloved OC. She's honestly one of my newer babies. But I made her SPECIFICALLY with the idea of her being my dream doll. And its very. Very silly.

But. This is BB:

I tried to imagine a character thatd be in a cartoon I'd watch as a kid and be VIOLENTLY mad didnt have some sort of doll I could buy, lol. Retro anime, cute and round, robot girl.

To avoid an infodump: she's a little fighting robot. Think medabots or angelic layer. She has a human who she's best friends with and she fights other cute little robot dolls. She talks only in beeps and boops and is 11inches tall (without antannae) and she's silly and I love her.

And she's my dream.

Imagining in my head the anime that I would've adored as a kid, and a doll thats literally her plucked off the screen. Not a barbie in an outfit, not something close enough, but the simplistic cartoony lil goofball.

I know its really. Really silly. Its silly to be caught up in this kind of idea and its silly to get all bent out of shape over and its silly I'm even like.

Putting these thoughts into the world

Feeling like a kid writing a letter to Santa

But thats it. Thats my wish or my dream or whatever. Its selfish. Its so so so selfish to imagine not just putting someone through doll making but making such a weird hard-to-translate-to-3d-space design and potentially having to work with me abunch to make sure she's just right. Without like. Thousands in compensation, lol.

Like I said, im willing to work with and do some adjustments to make her more do-able (fiddle w/ proportions alil, figure out a way to do the joints in a way that still fits her style while being actually moveable, more engineering side than aesthetics obvi lol. I really would love her to be stupid posable).

But i dont think that really probably means much

Idk.

I feel silly and selfish even putting this into the world but hey. Can't hurt to wish on stars and hope for christmas miracles. Right? It's not like I'm gonna go knocking on doors asking for something this batshit, lol.

Like. I wouldnt survive the shame.

If they dont respond I'll die of anxiety n guilt. Getting turned down might hurt even worse because then I'd know for sure they'd read it and probably felt Really Fucking Uncomfortable.

If i was a kid or whatever then maybe it'd be atleast endearing to get that kinda message insteada Just Sad.

No winning. Lol.

Im tired out now and the post-chemo-day agonies are starting to rev up again so I think I'm gonna go lay down now.

[borom1r]

1-25 choose violence ask game ❤️

ALL OF THEM?????? you’re so real for this ty snfnsnbfns. doing LotR bc of course I am

1. the character everyone gets wrong

PIPPIN I HATE TO SAY IT BUT PIPPIN. all those incorrect quote polls that have been posted where pippin keeps fucking winning YALL REALIZE HES AN ACTUAL CHARACTER RIGHT?? with like depth?? and bonds?? and a personality. yall realize that right?????? right??? ik we all love 2 joke but he would not say half of those things

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

ok I personally enjoy both for Boromir BUT if he IS topping. he is a service top. I will die on this hill

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

I block ppl for these takes so no screenshots but everyone who thinks Boromir is a villain. if you think Boromir is a villain I will key your car.

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

there is one singular straw and it is bad Boromir takes in the Boromir tag

5. worst discord server and why

I don’t join fandom discord servers bc I love myself too much for that 💗

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

ummm idk? most of my lotr mutuals have different ships from me and it’s all chill. but tbf I’m very selective abt who I interact with now lmao.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

no one yet thank fuck.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Aragorn/Arwen isn’t actually romantic sorry I think it’s fucked up actually. the vibes are off there for SURE

9. worst part of canon

FARAMIR’S “yeah I’m gonna take you from your home and tame you. haha wdym. you don’t need a blade during times of peace.” SHTICK WITH ÉOWYN IN THE BOOKS. UNPACK YOUR BIASES YOU LITTLE FREAK!!!!!!!!

10. worst part of fanon

HM. I will stick with “people who horrifically misinterpret Boromir’s character”

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

at the moment I only have rings of power blocked but I’ve had that blocked since it came out bc if I look at the armor in that show I will commit crimes.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

MOVIE!FARAMIR MY SPECIALEST LITTLE GUY OOOOOOOOOO MOVIE!FARAMIR I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU he’s so handsome and special and I love him and you WILL all look at him and clap and cheer. it makes me insane that his temptation by the ring mirror’s Boromir’s and he’s actually fucking normal abt the Rohirrim AND I just love him very much :)

13. worst blorboficiation

ummm idk… maybe Frodo

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

HMMM exposing myself but I basically only read Aragorn/Boromir fics lmao + since we’re Choosing Violence the most annoying thing is Boromir just being A Brute. like damn I love the surface level reading of the text maybe try engaging with it above a 1st grade analysis next time 💗

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

hmmmmm idk cuz again I don’t interact w a lot of fanartists so there’s nothing like. annoying. all th ✨motifs✨ I do see r very fun + I like them :)

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

ummm for Serious, portraying Pippin as Stupid. for Silly, uhhhh Trans Faramir is so real to me I completely forgot cis people both 1) exist in the real world and 2) probably interpret Fara as cis too. i don’t get it :(

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

trans Faramir 🩵💗🤍

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

HM idk. trans Faramir again. also bc I love it, utilizing Old Norse culture for the Rohirrim teehee

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

OK IM MAD THAT FINNISH BOROMIR IS JUST ME. THATS ME. THATS AN OUTFIT I WEAR REGULARLY MINUS THE LONG HAIR. I DRESS LIKE THAT TO BUY GROCERIES. i love him for that tho. I’m also mad that MtG Boromir’s stupid pointy muttonchops have grown on me. freak behavior, keeping his facial hair trimmed in those stupid little points

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

I’m fighting for my life reading the histories rn 😑 I find them very dry for the most part

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

idk? I think there is an appropriate level of hype. but idk if Rings of Power had a lot of hype. if it did, then Rings of Power is my answer

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

idk if it’s IGNORED necessarily but the fact that Boromir carries a Rohirric shield in the films does actually genuinely make me insane 💞 I love that sm

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

UNWILLINGLY?????? idk?? ummmm I think it’s all fine for the most part I’m just A Fag so I don’t write het ships. it’s like a moral thing. Éowyn/Faramir gets a pass conceptually bc they’re T4T to me tho

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

idkkkkkkk I don’t engage w discourse bc I want this fandom to remain pleasanttttt

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

again idk.. I block on sight if I see a Bad Take + then I erase it from my memory so I can continue to live in a beautiful blissful world where I. forgor abt cis people ☺️

[drpeppertummy]

idk if you've done something like this already, but either way !

character happily chowing down on their favourite food, not noticing how much they're putting away, until they look down and Whoa where'd that come from?? How do they react to their sudden Embiggened Tumby?

Maybe for sunny, val, gray and penne? :0

like just as a question or was this meant as a prompt? will answer as a question 4 now

sunnys internally like "dam. Maybe I Should Not Have Ate All That" but externally he just tries to play it off & act like its not bothering him. depending on who else is around he might quit eating & just lean back & chill a little Or he might stubbornly keep going Despite his visibly-too-full tummy

vals response is Mild Embarrassment but more in a silly "whoops lol" way than Actually Feeling Bad. connies gonna tease him a little for it & hes just gonna be like 😊🤷‍♂️

gray is Considerably More Embarrassed. he feels ashamed for overdoing it so much & he hopes nobody notices even tho his belly probably hurts by this point & he would secretly like somebody to hold him so gentle &give him a tummy rub

penne is just like "👁️👁️Dam Ok . Maybe I Should Save The Rest" but shes not overly sheepish about it. shes just like Gosh Im Full. its not much of a shock for her bc her tummy is usually pretty obvious when shes eaten too much (unlike gray, for whom it takes a lot for his fullness to show)

[futurecorps3]

Hi. I’d like to get 🩸, please. I wrote this beast of a description some time ago and don’t really have time rn to be so kind & shorten it, so I don’t mind the potential wait/your refusal to do it. Either way, congratulations on your follower count, I look forward to interacting (in a more digestible form)

Looks: I’m in my teens. I look close to Mia Goth, though I have gray eyes. My hair is blond and thick, an overgrown wolfcut I always take care of myself. I’m 5’7, somewhat athletic. I switch between dressing like Bella Swan, dark coquettes (most often) and this masc casual style. I have a diy tattoo I did a few years back. I also have a few noticeable scars, don’t like them but the stories can be interesting. One big on my chest (sword fight), between eyebrows, left chin (knife), big few on the right arm (ironically, a crow). I wear dark fem makeup or coquette. My dominant hand is a little messed up bc it was broken in a fight as a kid and I never did anything with it so it didn’t heal well

Personality: Im an entj, he/she (male/female bigender), bi. I’m social, hardworking, brave, optimistic, ambitious, motivated. People tend to get frustrated with how closed off I can be. I’m careful with my words and I don’t talk about my life if I don’t need to. Actually, I’m not very honest at all, though if I care about someone it can change. I see it as valuing my privacy and looking after myself. Romance is a nice concept, love the books, but I tend to dodge all attempts people make at forming relationships. And the amount of people who see friendship w me as a degrading means to an end made me a tad cynical about it. Doesn’t mean I don’t like the occasional flirt though. In the right company I like to make friends laugh, unwind, be the life of the party. Doctors said I don’t have empathy and show many sights of npd. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s a part of me. I still can be decent to friends (where empathy fails I still have common sense). Honestly,I’m softer than I’d like to admit. I get on with kids nicely and I’d like a few on my own when I grow up. I’m protective of my family, my older brothers mean the world to me. Another thing that’s important is my faith. I’m polytheistic and very religious (but I respect other beliefs). I like to befriend local animals too, in my free time. People call me stubborn, I’m the kind of person to push until I succeed, even if it hurts. Privately at least. In any kind of structure I know my place and I help the team/my boss/other superiors dutifully. I try not to be very emotional, but sometimes i fail. Usually I turn to anger, though I wouldn’t turn on my loved ones. I try to be fair in my actions. Many say I’m comforting, though I see myself more as a problem solver. And yeah, perhaps I am filled with (rightful) guilt about the loss of my close family member. But that’s mine to know and for others to never find out. I have shared more here than I did (or will) with anyone irl. In private I believe I can be a little funny and silly, nonchalant even. Also soft, as my friend calls it, ‘homely’. In the end, I did manage to fit myself into quite a list of friend groups so I’d like to believe I’m not too bad to hang around

My type: I’d like someone I could relate to. Someone who would understand my ambition and drive, my issues, inspire me to try harder, but also someone who would understand my anger (even if by enabling my worse parts). Maybe even harder than me. As bad as it sounds I don’t care for morals all that much, not in a “I like bad girls/boys” kind of way. It’s just that if they don’t hold harmful beliefs (racism, sexism etc) I don’t look much further into it. Someone who wouldn’t jump on the whole romance thing right away and smother me. They have to have their own thing they do, other than love. My love language’s acts of service. And when they notice details, learn about me. It’s a running joke among my friends that I’ll end up in a rivals to lovers kind of deal bc of how stubborn and averse to romance I am. I need someone who would understand that my family comes first (before me too) and I do anything for them. And I will call my s/o out if needed too

Likes: physical activity (I used to do a ton of sports from cheer and dancing to basketball); money - having it, making it; romance novels; dogs; birds; writing stories, poems, making music, painting, though I’m not so open about it; parties; family; social interactions; my job (legal or not, anything that involves bulshitting ppl and supporting myself is nice, sry); taking care of others; cooking and baking; acting/performing; giving gifts; fashion; snow and the cold (my hand be damned, I view winter as a gift from gods); shows like Bridgerton (I’m so fine after watching Kate/Anthony storyline I swear), books like soc, pjo, the cruel Prince, dps;

Dislikes: losing/failing; deep bodies of water; whole concept of death, even if I know what comes next I can’t stand it; feeling useless; people with no drive; quitters;

Facts: Im Slavic; had basic medical training; my family would call me something akin to ‘little merchant’ in our language, bc of my talent for bargaining and talking ppl into things; normally I don’t flex half as bad; dark eyes r soo attractive to me, but if I like your goals and motives, I’m into you either way; like Hannah Montana I have the best of both worlds - I was born in the capital & I’m well versed in the life there but I spent my formative years helping on a farm (which I miss), I still more so identity as a country guy; I think revenge driven ppl are attractive but that's less of a preference, simply a thought

-💎

My guy you had me thinking for this one! It screams Kaz Brekker BUT that could also be problematic since reading your description gives a very similar vibe to his and he might not like it. ALSO YOURE THE OPPOSITE OF WYLAN AND INEJ SO THAT COULD WORK OR ABSOLUTELY NOT.

In the end, I decided… (cue drumroll)

WYLAN HENDRICKS! (Van Eck? Who?)

Your type description gave me the gentle love Wy gives <3 he’s patient, understanding and is his own person before being a lover. I can see you both reading together all the time as well as you cooking for him! I think we all perceived him (in the beginning of the books) as a soft and fragile boy but he’s a badass, he’s mature, and he’s always there to support you if you need it. He’s a sweetheart, you know him, you love him<3

[foolsoverture]

Idk i jsug. I get so sad sometimes watching them interact with eachother all excited all the time & then the attitude towards me is diff and not in a good way. i know theyre not the same as robin but it makes me feel like when robin used to purposefully ignore all of my posts everywhere & then would make a whole show of interacting with someone else in a really excited way *and* usually on the same topic i’d been posting about & trying to engage with him with. It makes me feel a little like they’re ashamed for being seen with me/associated with me the same way robin was/like they see me as stupid & dont want to be associated w me because of that.

Like i know they arent doing it “”to hurt me”” but its also just like. Idk. I just feel on the outside all the time. Like the walls are closing in until i get squeezed out. Like its only a matter of time until it’s only wilbur and james and im out of it entirely no matter what i try

And i just end up feeling like i have to “give them space,” in the sense of like. How i had to not only not message robin but also not be active anywhere that he could see online or in the groupchat before he’d deem me Not Annoying Enough to talk to again

and at first i thought he was maybe jusg tired or tired of me & needed time etc but then finding out that it Was an intentional thing towards me? Meowch

And the whole thing re: robin also makes me nervous whenever i try to get into things james and wilbur are into/that are their interests/not overall shared stuff like st, because then i think back to how robin would act like soemthing was “ruined” as soon as i got into it. Or like anything i was super into he wanted nothing to do with *once he found out that i was super into it*, even if i’d enever talked to him about it/hadnt annoyed him abt it but he’d just found out somehow that i was into ti

And i think back to getting into pokemon bc robin liked it sm & trying to set up my own pokemon roleplay blog with my own little oc & working so so so so hard on it & making art for it & all that & hoping for just a Crumb of interaction with him, only for him to be annoyed and outrifht ignore me everytime i sent anything about it to the chat/asked him for his thoughts about it or asked him pokemon lore questions abt stufd he was into

And its not like i was “invading his space” bc he would talk in the groupchat constantly abut his pokemon rp blog & he would invite miri and tobi to make their own but then ignore me

Isk i gwt so excited about interaxtinf with abt their intersta but i worry ill repeat rhe same mistake as robin/that my interest will somehow ruin the ropic entjeelt

[unrelatabledude]

hi, pax! your art and your account is very special to me. it really cheers me up, because youre not afraid to show your drawings Bc of shame !!!!! keep going !!!!!!! Maybe its the cringe culture thing but im very Ashamed of even drawing enstars ,,, and youre so Free with your posts????????? maybe my wording is a little confusing but i love you /p

i love how u draw himerin i wish trans and neurodivergent people were real

this was very sweet anon thank you !! i hope you rest well firstly haha, but thank you for your kind words, especially on tumblr, where i feel a little more disconnected from everyone- esp now when i've been taking a break from my mains.

I'm glad if thats an inspiration to you- i'm pretty reticent to post things and i always feel like dying + like im annoying people haha when i post! So i'm glad if i come across better than that, and I hope that one day you can feel free with the things you make, whatever that may be.

making things is one of the few things i like to do, and i've always held really embarrassing interests but at the end of the day you should make and enjoy things that make you happy no matter what you are. we're in a creative drought of people who are too scared to engage open and honestly with things they enjoy, so it's always great to make even simple things. anything is a start, and anything is a joy.

[charmed-asylum]

You know it’s funny how on money you are one with how people act when they see a pregnant person “ You don't care about Daye's warnings. She can stand on the hard floor while pregnant and see how she feels after a single hour. “ and then act and the long list of double standards one face .” Funny, you saw a bunch of old ladies fawning over Molly, swollen with her fifth? Maybe sixth? You don't know how she keeps track. It stings a little to see them treat her like some saint while you've been tainted by the very same condition. “

THEN THOR FUCKIN ASS WHAT A 1st movie spoiled child. Oh im having a party don’t need no mistakes blah blah 😒 “ You hit the button and gesture bluntly to the machine. He taps without a second thought. You're riled by the sight of him so easily spending his money. Money he should be using for the child in your belly. The fact that he gets to keep living his life without a single consequence has you almost shaking” he constantly bragging about getting away w shit and blah blah but then poof wanna get with her is he the if I don’t wont you u can’t move on type bc it feeling like so. Huh smh then we got Sy. TG . But we get one of many show off between the two

Also this bitch better get the stepping she been trying to get her out since day one abs if they all seen her they know who started who wasn’t apart of it. But this bitch ass skank does this so this sucks bc one Thor gonna do what ever to make her life hell and not want to do shit then Sy gonna come in w the baby blue pout. “ “I’m not hearing it. None of it,” Daye spits, “you’ve been nothing but trouble since you got here. And you, sir, should be ashamed.” She spins and marches off, “if you don’t clean that up before you go, I will have the sheriff charge you with destruction of property.” 

Called to Duty 5

Warnings: non/dubcon, pregnancy, abandonment, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Captain Syverson

Summary: You struggle to move on from the biggest mistake of your life but find it hard to forget among the whispers of a small town.

Part of the Backwoods AU

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

Another shift. Another new ache. It's not just your feet or hips anymore. There's a tugging in the back of your neck that tweaks each time you turn tour head a bit to far left. 

You lean on the counter. You don't care about Daye's warnings. She can stand on the hard floor while pregnant and see how she feels after a single hour. They haven't even bothered to get a standing mat. 

A few customers pass through. The usual stunted small talk passes between you, the intentional avoidance of the obvious. They'll stare at your stomach but they surely won't mention it. 

Funny, you saw a bunch of old ladies fawning over Molly, swollen with her fifth? Maybe sixth? You don't know how she keeps track. It stings a little to see them treat her like some saint while you've been tainted by the very same condition. 

You sigh and try not to think of it as you sort the novelty keychains by colour. They'll be messed up again by your next shift but it keeps your mind busy. Lately, you found your thoughts run off into the void never to be seen again. It's frustrating but a little bit scary too. 

A box lands on the counter and slides toward you as it's tossed carelessly beside the till. You grab it before it can slip over the edge and nearly recoil as you recognise the brand. You set the large box of condoms straight as a rolling chuckle greets you from the other side. 

You look up as Thor smirks and reaches into his back pocket, "having a party." 

You stare at him then scan the box. You don't say a word as your face sears. He takes out his wallet and searches lazily. 

"Wouldn't want any mistakes," he taunts as he looks through the slots. "Hm, credit." 

You hit the button and gesture bluntly to the machine. He taps without a second thought. You're riled by the sight of him so easily spending his money. Money he should be using for the child in your belly. The fact that he gets to keep living his life without a single consequence has you almost shaking. 

You tear off his receipt and nearly slam it on the box, shoving it towards him. The door rings with the arrival of another customer. You don't greet them as you're trapped in a tunnel. Your rage is centered on that big blond doofus. 

"Ah," he leans over and puts his elbows on the counter, a smug curve in his lips, "jealous, are we?" 

You don't acknowledge his taunt as you go back to pick at the keyrings. 

"Well, I've never fucked a pregnant woman," he muses, "wouldn't need these, would we?" He chortles as he taps the box with his knuckle, "how about one last go? For old times' sake. You get a break--" 

"Disgusting," a growl undercuts Thor's gross proposition. 

You flinch and look up. Sy stands with his arms crossed over his burly chest as he scoffs. Thor tilts his head and pushes himself straight. He face the other man with a cluck. 

"There you are, buddy," Thor booms, "I heard you've been sniffing around my leftovers." 

"Don't call her that," Sy sneers. "What're you doin' bugging her?" 

"I should ask you the same," Thor postures at the other man, a good few inches taller yet it hardly seems to matter. "You like sloppy seconds? Guess you're used to taking whatever you can get after all those field rations, huh?" 

"Don't," Sy grits as tension ripple in the air. 

Their voice carry through the sleep pharmacy and you notice how the white coats behind the far counter shift to see. Oh no. 

"Hey, guys, it's fine, let's not--" 

"Don't what?" Thor pokes Sy's shoulder. The other man drops his arms straight and balls his fists. "She's a slut. Look at her. She begged me to fill her up--" 

"I'm warning you," Sy snarls. 

"Look, I don't even know if it was me who did that. The way she was dancing up on everyone," Thor snickers, "you don't really think it's an immaculate conception or something." 

"I'm telling ya to leave and to leave her alone," Sy steps closer, undetered by the difference in height. He's just as thick, if not a little thicker, than his foe.  

Thor looks at you over his shoulder and makes a face, "you really fucking this mad dog--" 

Sy tackles Thor before he can finish his sentence. The wraps his arms around him as he charges and they hit the counter with a startling slam. You cry out and back up, the keychains scattering at the force of their impact. 

Thor and Sy latch onto each other and roll against the counter, shifting the till as the condoms teeter on the edge. Mints rain down onto the tile as they grunt and grapple.  

Thor pushes off and holds Sy at arm's length. The latter hurls a fist into the former's cheek and gets one on the jaw in return. They dodge and punch, latching back into each other as they collide with the rack of greeting cards. 

"Enough!" Daye shrieks as she runs up the center aisle, "I've called the police so you both better stop!" 

The men ignore her as you watch in horror. Fuck, fuck, fuck.  

You come around the counter, shaking as you approach the men feuding like vicious cats. You dodge away as you're nearly bowled over in their chaos and hold your stomach. Daye continues to yowl helplessly. 

"Sy, Sy, please, stop! Thor! Sy! Syverson!" You holler, "Saul!" 

His birth name catches him off guard and he stops. Thor lands a crunch blow in his nose but is quickly warded off with a forearm. Syverson keeps him at bay as he covers his nose and snorts. 

"Hey!" Daye bats them with a broom, "enough! Enough!" 

Thor detaches, shoving the other man one last time, and spits blood towards your feet. 

"You two," she huffs as he pulls the hanging tie from his hair, "deserve each other. Couple of fucking strays." 

He grabs the broom from day and flings it, stomping over the mess and out the door as he mutters about his family. You frown and look down at the trampled cards and mints. Daye sniffs and shakes her head as she frames her hips. 

"I think it goes without me saying," she snips, "you're fired and sir," she turns to Sy, "you better leave before the sheriff gets here. Oh, and don't come back.” 

You look up from the ruin at Sy and he gives a fluttery blink, “I’m sorry--” 

“Go, please,” you croak as you move your hand to your lower back. 

“I didn’t--” 

“Go,” you snap and turn your attention to your manager, “Daye, please, I didn’t do this.” 

“She’s telling the truth, was all me,” Sy backs up. 

“I’m not hearing it. None of it,” Daye spits, “you’ve been nothing but trouble since you got here. And you, sir, should be ashamed.” She spins and marches off, “if you don’t clean that up before you go, I will have the sheriff charge you with destruction of property.” 

[pxrxmoore]

beth hello!!! happy jealous bi buck day or wtv 👽❤

anyway i have a completely unrelated question lol i'm seeing taylor swift soon and paramore is opening for her and im ashamed to admit i only know like two songs from them sjhfvbjd so. could you rec me a few to try and get into them before my show?? you are The paramore person to me jfbvdj and i trust your taste in songs 😎

hi my darling!!! happy buck queer awakening day godbless 🫡🙏

OOHH that’s soo exciting omg i’m so stoked for u 😍 honestly if it wasn’t tswift so tix weren’t MAD stress to get i would’ve been so tempted to get some just to see pmore open 🤣 it’s an honor u would come to me thank u this is my brand ur right 😌🥰🥰🥰

ok ok ok

i’ll try and not get carried away HAH but i am also gonna put this in a read more hahsjxkskd

soo gonna include songs from their new album their touring rn, other songs that have been in their sets on their most recent tours and then just some rly sexy faves of mine that are somehow not included anywhere else

new album:

- you first (if i was forced to say a fave from the album lmao)

- the news

- this is why

- thick skull (they just released a mv for this one)

- figure 8

- running out of time (this was written specifically with me in mind tbh hayley told me herself 😌)

recent setlist:

- all i wanted (THIS ONE IS INSANE!!!! and if u hear her vocals live on this u will ascend tbh 😌)

- hard times (the album this is from - after laughter - is just sooooo sexy in general tbh)

- ain’t it fun

- misery business (u prob know this one 🤣)

- decode (twilight ost babeeyyyy)

- playing god

- last hope (god this one hurts sooo so good it’s stunning)

sexy tasty faves (which like. to me is all of them 😌)

- pool

- brighter (my fave song of all time it’s the song that first led me to them 😭💛)

- big man little dignity (this is on their new album but they didn’t put it in the setlist when we saw them which is homophobic to me tbh) (also i lied earlier maybe this is my fave from the new album)

- my heart (could be song of all time for me personally? who’s to say 😌)

- told you so

- looking up

- proof

- idle worship

- let the flames begin (which gets a tasty pt 2 on their self titled album like 7 yrs later, conveniently called Part ii 🫶)

- tell me how (gorgeously depressing slow n sad one for ya 🫶)

they’ve also been doing some songs from hayley’s solo stuff and zac’s band which are so vibey:

- hayley - crystal clear

- halfnoise (zac) - baby

also you know what shouts to another song from their new album bc i’ve woken up w it in my head for that last few days now:

- crave

i could rec them all day so sorry abt that 😅 but omg hope u have an amazing time!!!! 😍🥰