#maybe ill save these all up and then you guys can request comics of them after the anniversary????

[skitskatdacat63]

misc lore drop day 17/?

I wanna make it clear that Fernando may come off as very standoffish, and makes it feel like their relationship is one sided. But it's not! Don't worry! I think Fernando is also playing the affection game, but wouldn't admit it. As I've said before, that one duo interview was so influential to me. Like he's playing a completely different mindgame than Seb is, which I think makes their relationship very funny. They both come at things in very different ways and perceive the others actions in very different ways.

For Seb, it's very fun to try and win Fernando over, it's a real challenge. For Fernando, it's very satisfying to have the literal emperor fighting for his attention. He WANTS Seb to want him, he WANTS to play hard to get. I think he starts off yknow actually being standoffish, but absolutely preens when he notices Seb going lengths to get his attention. It gets to the point where he's in Spain, sending goading letters to Seb like, "hope you're not too lonely!" snickering to himself.

But when he does these teasing things, Seb obviously interprets it as "oh he's being affectionate!" not "he's saying I'm more needy than he is!" And when Seb is affectionate back, Fernando thinks "ha! He's so desperate for me!" not "oh he's being so sweet!!" Yes, it's a huge misunderstanding, but they both get what they want out of the interaction so isn't it fine?

[itsscromp]

I was wondering if I could ask for an insomniac Peter or miles, I don't mind which, with a reader who's a young kid that they saved? Maybe they're like that one kid from the comics who has a terminal illness and has all of the Spider-men memorabilia.

Have a good day!

Insomniac Spider-Men X reader

Oooh this is a fantastic idea anon, For this one, I'm gonna say I'M GONNA DO BOTH !!!!. so with that here is your request :D. Word count:701

Peter and Miles were Battling out Lizard who was wreaking havoc on the annual 4th of July parade, Running around and terrorizing citizens in the process.

"Pete this is looking bad !!" Miles worried

"Don't think like that, we can do this ok miles. I'll hold down lizard while you help the people" Peter spoke through the mask as he swung into action. Webbing onto lizards back as he tried to control his movements.

Meanwhile miles was getting everyone out safely, clearing paths from rubble left by Lizard.

"Everyone go go !!!" He called out to them as he motioned everyone to leave the site now.

But as people were leaving, Mile's Spider-sense set off, He then heard a piece of rubble falling down from the building as Peter was fighting the lizard. Under it was a kid. miles quickly leapt into action as he pushed the kid out and caught the rubble, saving them.

"Oh my go..."

"Go go, it's not safe..." Miles grunted as he placed the rubble down and urged you away from the site.

"Thank you.." You said to him before rushing to your parents.

"A little help please..." Peter called out as he was starting to lose control of lizard.

The day was saved once again as Peter and Miles managed to web Lizard onto the ground, restricting his movements.

"Nice work out there Spider-Man" Peter raised his fist for a fist bump.

"You too man" Miles happily fist bumped peter.

Throughout the day, Miles thought about the kid that he had saved, wondering if they was okay. Surely they would, His phone then buzzed with a request from the FNSM app that Ganke put together for him and Peter.

"Hey Pete I got a request that requires the both of us"

"Oh Yeah ??, What's the request ??"

"It seems someone by the name of Y/n L/n wants us to meet them in person"

"I got some time, come on let's go"

With that, Peter and Miles met up at the location and looked around for the person who made the request. Miles then felt a tap on his shoulder and looked over.

"Can I he... Oh wait, your that kid I saved right ??"

"Yes, My name is Y/n. I wanted to thank you both in person rather than wait to see you guys again." You chuckled

"Hey, It's no trouble y/n, Whenever you need help. You can always request through the app." Peter gently ruffled your hair.

It was then Miles noticed your shirt and smiled under the mask.

"Looks like we have a fan"

You sheepishly rub your neck and nervously chuckled.

"Yeah... I'm a pretty big fan of you guys, You do so much for the city and ask for nothing in return. I think that's inspirational."

"We always fight for what's right in this city, This is our home too. So if anyone tries to mess with it or with people like you y/n, then they mess with us" Peter flexed his biceps and looked out in pride. Making you and miles chuckle.

"He's a bit of a showboat sometimes" Miles whispered to you.

"Hehe, thank you guys really." You then brought them in for a group hug, It was moments like these that made Peter and Miles appreciate being Spider-Man, Seeing the smiles on people's faces and seeing how much they appreciate their help. Keeps them pushing to continue fighting for this city.

"Before you guys go, can I get a quick photo ??"

"Of course" Miles said as you pulled out your phone and then took a selfie with the two, having the biggest smile on your face.

"Thank you guys so much for today, and for everyday"

Hearing what you say makes Peter and Miles smile brightly. Hearing the words of affirmation means the absolute world to them.

"Always y/n, remember if you need help or just want to meet. make a request through the app ok champ ??" Peter said as he then swung off waving goodbye at you.

"See you around y/n" Miles then joined peter.

Seeing them swing away, off to save the city again. Made you smile brightly, they were just amazing people.

taglist: @callofdudes

[cienie-isengardu]

Not only do I not regret asking you to "RELEASE THE RAMBLES!", I'm sending you requests for more. Below is a list of questions that I asked @bihansthot , and enjoyed their answers, but because you are so thorough, and answer in such depth, I'm re-asking them to you.

Brace yourself, it's a list. I didnt have time to sort thru them, I just copied and pasted, so if any are questions you already answered before, please feel free to include the links.

"LET US BEGIN!"

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In the spirit of potential future writing,  I'm trying to find a building that  would make a good substitution for Lin Kuei temple.

I've tried looking up ancient Chinese military barracks/forts, and have found some stuff,  but is all exterior.  Anyone know of any locations (or several I can cobble together) that would make good inspiration fodder?

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So, uhm, religion? What's the Lin Kuei's take on that one? I know they are aware of Gods, they team up with/ encounter Raiden all the time,  and have literally worked for/against Shinook, so I know they recognize higher powers... but I  guess the question is,  do they care?

Do they have a religion,  or spiritual practice that resembles religion? Or do they have a more practical approach "gods exist,  but we just consider them very strong people"?

Which segues into... do they recognize and participate in holidays, or things like birthdays? Or are all their celebrations work related (I.E. successful missions or levels of combat mastery)?

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Food.  What foods do they normally eat? What foods do they like?  What foods don't they like? What foods do they absolutely love so much they'll stop what they're doing to get it?

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If you had to match the Lin Kuei with a dynasty,  what one would it be? (I know the 2021 movie has the opening in the Ming dynasty, so the Lin Kuei is at least that old,  but given that movie Bi Han hasn't aged in 400 years, and was taken is a child,  its probably much older) (and also know the game probably cherry picked random Chinese things it liked).

What do you think the Lin Kuei's view on artistic culture (probably not the right word) is? I know they are heavily militaristic,  but in the game,  Kuai Liang offers Hanzo tea and he properly prepares it the Japanese way, that says they have something of an education other than just related to fighting?

Lastly,  in the movie,  everything Bi Han does is "for the Lin Kuei", but the Lin Kuei is on Earth (assumedly),  and he is working for a guy who wants to enslave Earth, so what do you think the deal is?

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Question about the Cryomancers. I know the game lore says that they are supposed to be rare, but I also know that the Lin Kuei have had at least 5 (grandpa, papa, older, and younger Sub Zero,  and Frost). 4 of which are part of 3 generations that inherited it even with mixed blood (I'm assuming Mama Sub Zero wasn't Cryomancer since they left her alone).

That's a lot of generations in a row for a rare trait... So do you think the Cryomancers as a group have figured out they're being hunted and have chosen to live in hiding?

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Lin Kuei society question? I like writing so I also like world building and I think about these things.

Is Lin Kuei society ever covered? I know there is a Grandmaster, a handful master assassins (Sub Zero's, Sektor, Cyrax, etc) and the  movies always have a bunch canon fodder lesser assassins.

And they live in the very isolated Lin Kuei Palace/Temple in Arktika (or wherever it used to be)

But is Lin Kuei (we'll call it "village") ever covered?   Do they have willing servants, kidnapped slaves, or a mix of both? Are there women (non fighter women,  I know there's Frost) or do they employ strictly male help? If there are women, what's their role, and are there children born there? What about Elderly? What about resources,  is everything (from food, clothes, weapons, and the raw materials to create them) grown or manufactured on sight by skilled laborers or do they import/interact with the outside world? How vicious or civil is this society, could you be killed for looking at Sektor wrong or do they value your services to a degree? What's the degree? This is obviously a combat culture,  but is everyone expected to know martial arts of some variety, is it optional, or do they prohibit it among the servants/slaves? How strict are they on things like clothing, food, alcohol,  drugs, "luxuries", or pleasures? Money? If they interact with the world do they recognize and use $$ currency, commodity currency, or a mixture? Internally are the Lin Kuei payed or just provided for? What about illness or injury,  if you're not a master and it a serious injury/illness are you taken care of or do they just give you a quick death?

Etc. That's all the questions I can think of,  but please feel free to answer questions I didn't ask,  if you think of anything else.

Thank you for this wonderful list to talk about! I’m gonna split the answer into smaller parts, for better focusing on each aspect but also so I don’t feel bad for keeping you waiting for ages, lol. For now let’s focus on asks about the religion!

So good questions! I do think they have some spiritual practice(s) because in martial arts the state of a mind is as important as the physical body and religion is one of many ways to shape someone’s mindset from a young age. I do, however, think that Lin Kuei does not worship the gods. They are aware that the gods exist (with Raiden as the thorn in the side) and may even respect their supernatural powers and battle skills but it never has stopped Lin Kuei from desecrating holy places, murdering people and stealing stuff for the best price. So, it seems to me that whatever religion the members of the clan follow, by nature it is rooted in nontheism.

Of course, there is also a chance that Lin Kuei worships some forgotten deity or deities (as a remnant of their ancient connections with Outworld / realms conquered and destroyed by Shao Kahn?) or may even practice ancestor worship which seems like a good way to uphold a widely understood tradition that plays an important role in the discussed community.

The closest thing to religious practice was seen in Mortal Kombat X, when Sub-Zero and his warriors seemed to pray together before statue of god / deity / ancestor / legendary warrior / personalized thing they value the most (sadly, my knowledge about Asian religious practices or faiths is very limited so I don’t have idea if the statue is supposed to represent any real god/religious symbol).

At the same time, it could be just a bluff since Grandmaster was aware of Cage’s team infiltrating the Lin Kuei territory and used this moment to lure them into a trap. Additionally, Mortal Kombat X comics presented once Kuai Liang sitting before the same statue albeit in a completely different (devoid of reverence?) position.

Of course, if we take into account Mortal Kombat Armageddon, the game states that Lin Kuei Temple placed in Arctika was actually once the Temple of Delia (the great sorceress & wife of god Argus) that at some point get abandoned and re-used by Sub-Zero’s clan.

(In the background, we can see a statue of Delia that Lin Kuei does not worship but did not remove for whatever reason. Mixing both old and new games, we can only wonder if MKX!statue is also the remnant of someone else's faith/religion?)

Beside that, Kuai Liang was pretty vocal about Lin Kuei not worshipping the Elder Gods, what was seen in MK11’s intro dialogue with Cetrion

Sub-Zero: The Lin Kuei do not worship the Elder Gods.

Cetrion: We seek gratitude, not worship.

Sub-Zero: I see no distinction.

and personally did not have any reason to pray to the goddess:

Sub-Zero: Why should I pray to you?

Cetrion: Why does a bird flap its wings?

Sub-Zero: I asked a simple question.

In all fairness, in MK11 Kuai Liang seems the most passive-aggressive toward the Elder God while Frost is focused on her ambitions and Noob!Bi-Han just wants to be left alone when bothered by Cetrion. Similar thing happens toward Raiden. Despite gratitude for saving him, Kuai Liang does not spare the god criticism (can’t serve both Elder Gods and Earthrealm, isn’t fit for his role of protector) and in MKX outright says he does not fear divine beings:

Raiden: Sub-Zero...

Sub-Zero: I fear no gods, Raiden.

Raiden': That's why you shall lose.

Surprisingly, Kuai Liang’s interaction with MK11!Fujin sounds less accusing than with Raiden and Cetrion and it is connected closely to their ties with Bi-Han. And maybe Kuai Liang did seek in the past Fujin and other elements to make a peace with them, like he planned to do so in Mortal Kombat 4 Limited comics?

"I came here to make peace with the gods of the elements that you fought [...]"

Anyway, the accusingly behaviour toward Raiden and Cetrion could be just Kuai Liang’s personal dislike for gods and serious authority issues, which makes sense considering how much he suffered because of their meddling and conflicts.

But honestly?

The available examples of Lin Kuei attitude toward gods, demigods and supernatural beings suggest how little the warriors - especially cryomancers - care for them.

Like, we have Bi-Han in Mythologies, who asked Quan Chi about details of mission:

Sub-Zero: If it's so precious, why don't you get it yourself?

Quan Chi: I cannot enter the temple until the four elements within its walls have been defeated. And I am not on the best of terms with the gods of your realm... especially your god of thunder.

Sub-Zero: Tell me about these elements.

Quan Chi outright said he and earthrealm gods weren’t friends and Bi-Han, reading between the lines, could get the idea that he may end on bad terms with Thunder God. Yet he was interested only in elements (lesser gods than protector of realm?) guarding the temple.

Then Bi-Han beat down four demigods and met a displeased Raiden after Quan Chi got the Shinnok Amulet. His reaction? No fear, like meeting an angry god was a normal occurrence.

Rayden: Do you realize what you've done??

Sub-Zero: I was just earning my living.

Rayden: Your clan's ignorance and greed will cost this entire realm. You must now set things straight.

Sub-Zero: Quan Chi could simply be a lunatic sorcerer. I've never heard of an elder god named Shinnok or of a place called the Netherrealm.

Rayden: Well, you'd better start believing in both, because you're going to the Netherrealm and you're going to bring the amulet back. We must act quickly. I have no dominion in the Netherrealm... You are reality's only hope.

Sub-Zero: I'll do it, Thunder God... but only because I have no choice.

And once he came back from Netherrealm, where he was fixing what he messed up in the first place on Raiden’s order, his abrasive attitude did not change much:

Sub-Zero: Here... the amulet.

Rayden: Impressive, Sub-Zero. Perhaps you will reconcile your reckless past after all.

Sub-Zero: That's it? Not even a thank you?

Of course, to some degree Raiden’s words did have an impact on Bi-Han but even the god’s warning about his soul tainted with evil did not stop him from coming back to Lin Kuei. Bi-Han’s attitude and/or approach to gods seems to change somehow once he was reborn as Noob, but that is a different matter for different times.

Anyway, Mythologies!Bi-Han and MK11!Noob act less aggressive toward gods than Kuai Liang. But then we have Sub-Zero from from the MK novel by Jeff Rovin, who not only is not afraid of gods but outright insult them:

“Wait! Be warned, Shang Tsung. He is cursed!”

“Cursed? By whom?”

Ruthay wailed, “By the immortal Yu.”

Shang Tsung felt cold spiders crawl up his spine. “The demigod Yu?”

“Yes… he who is said to dwell in the underground caverns of Horse Ear Mountain… which is sacred to the goddess Kuan Lin. He who protects the canals… and the tunnels… and looks after all who use them, human and animal.”

“What did our brash friend do to Yu?”

“He… killed a man,” said Ruthay.

“What man?”

“A toll-taker… one who had given up a life of crime… one who had been a partner of the man… you… seek.”

“And how did that crime come to the attention of the spirit of Yu?” Shang Tsung asked.

“The man was killed… slowly disemboweled with a sword… while accomplices forced his wife and his son to look on! After his murder… the man’s remains… were dumped into a canal!”

Shang Tsung raised an eyebrow. “Is that all? I was expecting something truly terrible!”

“It was!” Ruthay shrieked. “When he disposed of the body… in that way … he profaned one of the sacred waterways… of Yu!”

Shang Tsung smiled now. “Then he is definitely the man I want,” he said. “Anyone who is impudent enough to insult a demigod won’t be afraid to attack a member of the White Lotus Society, or the gods who watch after them. I will send Hamachi, Ruthay. When he nears his goal, see through his eyes and guide him!”

Book!Sub-Zero was impudent enough to insult a demigod which is why he was one of Shang Tsung’s favorites. And to be clear - book!Sub-Zero did not regret insulting the demigod at all. Even more! He found humor in it!:

He dwelt in a cave two hundred feet up the face of a cliff by the sea. The mouth of his home was barely wide enough to accommodate a slender adult, and was accessible only by climbing the sheer wall of rock, a feat that was impossible for most adults and daunting even to the few arachnids and marsupials that tried it.

Maybe some of them were even sent by Yu, he thought with a smirk, little assassins who would chastise me for having spilled blood in his precious canal.

The less abrasive attitude toward gods was shown by Cyrax, who talked a bit with Raiden over Bi-Han’s remains. He wasn’t outright antagonistic but wasn’t overall respectful either. He talked with Thunder God like he would talk with any other human being that wasn’t actually Scorpion. Frankly, from the named Lin Kuei only MK9!Smoke actually addressed Raiden in respectful manner, with proper bow and the name of lord

albeit did he do so because he respects the divine beings or just out of gratitude for saving him, hard to tell for sure.

So yeah, it seems like no matter what kind of timeline or age or medium of the story, Lin Kuei does not fear gods nor pray to them. And the clan has a long history of dealing with Raiden, so the Lin Kuei had first-hand experiences with supernatural beings. Somehow, cryomancers are the most impudent warriors when it comes to dealing with or criticizing the gods.

Interestingly, as much as Lin Kuei warriors don’t care for gods, most of the known to us named characters believe to have - and to care - for their own souls. Sektor and MK11!Frost embraced the Cyber Lin Kuei idea but Kuai Liang, Cyrax and Smoke were opposed to C.I. project out for concern for their souls among other things. Even Bi-Han, to some degree became concerned about his soul after trip to Netherrealm.

Believing in souls is usually a sign of belief in the afterlife, albeit after all of them went through (the change into cyborgs, death and change into Revenants) this is less a matter of faith (religion) and more first-hand experiences. And let's not forget that regularly dealing over the centuries with Shang Tsung who steals people's souls on a daily basis makes it really hard to not believe spirits are real.

Also, an interesting matter of Lin Kuei practices that could have a religious/spiritual ground and/or be an example of ancestor worship is the clan’s funeral rites. I don’t think we actually saw any Lin Kuei to bury their own (especially after warrior’s failure?) and for sure MK9!Cyrax and Sektor did not bother to take care of Bi-Han’s remains. However the sources provide examples of Lin Kuei keeping corpses, most likely of their own leaders or warriors.

And so, we could see human remains:

put in two coffins on each side of statue

hidden / kept in a block of ice(?) in chamber of Fallen Lin Kuei in which Frost’s frozen body was also laid, but on the altar

Cyrax’s cyber body was kept and guarded by Sub-Zero (and this is like the only thing that Kuai Liang and Cyber Sektor so far agreed on)

and even Cyber Sektor’s remains, even if just for pragmatic reasons, are kept in what seems to be respectful manner:

It could be just Kuai Liang’s good nature to honor fallen of his clan (I’m still not sure if Lin Kuei Palace is the new place for Sub-Zero’s clan or the ancient hideout) but even in MK Conquest TV series, after Grandmaster was killed by then-currently-Sub-Zero, there was the farewell ceremony with clothes on display (cause there was not much left of body after freezing and shattering) while new leader gave the speech promising to punish the guilty.

Which makes me think that Lin Kuei did honor their fallen warriors (especially those exceptional, deserving). Such custom and apparently common belief in soul could also support the ancestor worship - both as some ancient, mythical ancestor(s) connecting warriors into one clan (family) and tradition to follow in the footsteps of forefathers (Bi-Han taking place of his father [old timeline] or grandfather [current timeline] or Kuai Liang taking Bi-Han’s place as Sub-Zero).

My general conclusion about Lin Kuei is that its members believe in souls, have respect and use of spiritual matters (meditation?) and maybe ancestor worship. Whatever the religious / spiritual practices they have over the centuries, it is not something they will share, as the Lin Kuei by nature are secretive people who keep personal things mostly for themselves. The people that joined the clan (Cyrax and Smoke) maybe kept their old, eventual religious beliefs but overall, Lin Kuei warriors did not fear, care for nor pray to gods. They may respect god (Raiden, Fujin) as a person but not because of their divine nature. And even that would not stop them from criticizing said god. Which is pretty much how Kuai Liang and Raiden’s relationship looks like. Grandmaster is grateful to Thunder God for saving him but he won’t blindly follow his authority.

(Kuai Liang has serious authority issues, hasn't he?)

As for holidays, I can’t really see Lin Kuei to follow any specific religious (theistic) special day cause they don’t care much for gods in the first place. Unless they worked undercover and needed to act as normal human beings, religious holidays would mean nothing to them. The warriors may however celebrate their mission success, combat mastery or promotion between themselves or in secret, I think. Like, Lin Kuei did forbid friendship because it was considered warrior’s flaw yet we know some members either were blood-related (Kuai Liang, Bi-Han, previous Sub-Zero - father or grandfather, depending on which timeline is correct) or considered each other a family (Kuai Liang and Tomas Vrbada) and most named characters worked in duos so they have both opportunity and knowledge about each other to celebrate important matters. If they managed to remember anything from previous life, that is. Because from ancient to at least Great Kung Lao’s times most(?) adepts were kidnapped from biological families at a really young age (something around 6 years old). And Mythologies: Sub-Zero takes that even further:

Its warriors are chosen at birth to be raised apart from the workings of day to day civilization and are stripped of their former lives. Only the clan knows their existence. Each of them posses certain skills and abilities that set them apart from normal men. These abilities are passed on from generation to generation and honed throughout the experiences of life.

So, celebrating birthdays doesn’t sound like happening much, unless those with family around could allow themselves such luxury. The clan may however celebrate the day of becoming a fully trained and sworn warrior? Or the fallen warriors? Who knows.

Also, something worth thinking about: in Mortal Kombat Conquest TV series, when the Grandmaster presented newly appointed Sub-Zero to the rest of the clan, he “celebrated” the cryomancer's first official performance as the execution of two men who failed their mission. So, yeah, celebration of something special in (old) Lin Kuei does not necessarily mean anything nice.

(The next part of answer most likely will be focused either on food or architecture / origin of Lin Kuei. Let's hope I will get it written sooner than later)

<><> EDIT <><>

RELIGION <> ORIGINS / ARCHITECTURE <> FOOD <> FOR THE LIN KUEI <> ART <> CRYOMANCERS <> LIN KUEI SOCIETY <> MONEY & MATERIAL GOODS

[violetnotez]

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(Requested) Hawks x reader

@chxcolxtemilk: Can I get an imagine with Hawks where the reader is his gf, and she got a BODY. She’s hourglass, slim thicc. Anyways. So during that intern arc where Bakugou and todoroki are like interning with Endeveour and it’s like a meeting and the work students are there and they all think reader fine af, but like mineta takes it overboard and hawks gets protective. Especially since readers hero costume shows off her curves please! Have a nice day ❤️

I read “slim thick” reader and my eyes went 👀👀👀-also sorry if this is a little wonky in the canon timeline cause my brain can’t function 😂😂

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

⤷Word Count: 1200+ (?-Im just guessing here sidfnsdifiw)

⤷Warnings: Pervy Mineta, cursing, the usallllll

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

Hawks stood in the back of the room, his arms crossed around his lean yet sturdy body, a smirk gracing his lips as he watched you speak with a loud welcoming voice to the newbies.

Hero schools across the nation were starting up their students for internships with hero agencies, and UA was no different. Countless teachers from that high school were shuffling their kids into agencies, and it was one of your duties to greet the students that were about to enter their internships for the other pros. It saved alot of time when one hero told the kids the do’s and don’ts of their internship, so you had sorta graciously took the role (you had lost a match of Rock Paper Scissors to Hawks and you were fuming).

Only you could make public speaking interesting to him-especially when you were in your hero suit (even if it sounded pretty perverted).

He couldnt help himself from letting his eyes wander around your frame- you were dating after all, it wasnt like you wouldnt want him to...but damn was that hero suit a blessing to his eyes. Whoever designed it, he wished he could perosnally thank them for making it so perfectly sexy on your frame.

 Your quirk relied on you to show a little more skin, as you needed to physically touch things in order to activate it. Which made it the perfect for Hawks (and others) to gawk at your curvacious figure- deep swoops on your chest, high cuts against your leg that showed off your hips, an expanse of the soft skin of your thigh….it was absolutely tantalizing to him and left his whole body throbbing every time he saw you in your suit.

Hawks felt his heart thump in his chest from the back of the room as he watched you bend down, apparently having dropped a piece of paper on the floor.

How you bent down gave the best view of your chest-the mounds pushed up so delciosuly he licked his lips from the sight- and then the nervous, innocent laugh you gave as you fiddled with your hair- god, you really just the most beautiful little birdie, werent you?

Hawks loveisck grin quickly melted away when he heard a slow whistle come from the seat in fornt of him- apparently somebody else found his little chickadee pretty too…

Immeidately Hawks felt his the feathers on his back ruffle- he usually wasnt protective at all, as long as  everyone knew that you were his and his only.

But oh, the moment he got a whiff of someone trying to flirt or be smitten with you-he immeidately did a 180, becoming fussy and dominant as he shielded you or sent the person a death glare behind a strained smile. 

“...could you imagine snuggling into her boobs? They must be so soft….” he heard a nasally, boyish voice whisper to his friend next to him, a few seats to his right.

Well-that was pretty fucking creepy.

Hawk’s head swiveled around, trying to find the voice. He was trying his best to not let his emotions do something rash-he didnt want to throw you off your task by doing something stupid. He was pretty known for his outgoing and filter-less peronality, so it was taking everything in him to just be calm for once, for your sake. Hawks quietly began to walk behind the seats of the kids, trying to find the owner of the voice.

“Ohhhh I would do anything for her if I could call her Mommy just once-”

The hell was this kid?! And how old was he to be making such nasty ass comments??

Hawks felt his cheeks flush, his eyes darting around, finaly landing on a student who seemed to be whispering to his friend with electric yellow hair.

He recognizied the kid with the bright hair- you had taken him on as a intern, his name was… Kalimari? Kanimari? 

He didnt quite remmeber, and frankly didnt really care that much as his eyes were trained on the kid next to him- he was so short, only his hair was visible from the seat- if you could it hair. Three balls of messy purple spheres were planted on his head as he leaned into the boy next to him.

“Hey Kaminari you think you wanna switch interns? Ill do anything, anything to just be next to her…”

“No way man!” the kid “Kaminari” whisiper yelled at him, “I landed a total babe as a intern, Im not loosing that-”

Hawks blinked a few times in complete shock- now this kid too! He knew you were a hit with the men (because hell he was a total fanboy before meeting you just because of how hot you were), but god he didnt realize you were popular with the teens too! It made sense, boys were pretty, well- interested- in women alot more at this age, but still- it bothered him how possessive he was getting because of these boys.

“Ahh please Denki!”

“Nah Mineta youre crazy!”

So his name was Mineta...Hawks leaned against the wall, his hands fidgeting as he tried to stay calm.

He might be petty enough to give a small call to his intern and see how he can make his life a little hellish….

Hawks drew his gaze back to you, hoping that maybe watching you speak will calm him down...but the kid wouldnt let up.

The whole time you were talking “Mineta” made every comment in the book, wondering “if you liked short guys”, “how big your butt was”, even asking if you had modeled lingerie….Hawks was pratically mortified for you.

Were all guys liked this? Cause god, if it was, he was going to have a problem...he felt his chest fluff out in dominance, his feathers pratically vibrating from agitation because of how possessive he was feeling and he couldnt do a single thing.

He watched you looked around the crowd, a soft radiant smile on your lips.

“Does anyone have any questions?” you asked as you peered up at the students.

Mineta instantly raised his hand, Hawks stomach churning with dread.

Unaware of the situation Hawks had just witnessed, you gave to boy a bright grin. 

“Yes?” you asked goodnaturedly.

Mineta sniffled, his voice nasally and somewhat desperate sounding. 

“Yeah I had a question- um, how big are you boo-”

Haha, nope.

Hawks instantly sent a bunch of feathers zooming towards Mineta, each one ramming into his open mouth. The force took over his frail body, the sight almost comical as his eyes grew wide with fear as he began to lean back, his pudgy hands flailing.

Hawks felt a small part of him inflate with dirty pride from his little trick, a lazy grin gracing his lips as everyone in the room turned around to watch him with complete shock.

“Sorry about that kiddos, had to just demonstrate somehting for you guys real quick...” Hawks looked down at you, your face blushing yet riddled with conufsion. He sent you a small smile, giving you a quick wink- “Ill tell you later” was written on his face as he turned his attention back to the students in fornt of him. 

“...when you intern with your heroes, show them some respect...cause words get around when you talk out of place-”

The Mineta kid turned around, sputtered coughs dribbling out of his mouth as he picked fluffs of feather off his tongue. His eyes widened as he turned around and realized what was going on, the #2 hero giving him the deadliest glare imaginable. 

Hawks could almost feel sympathy for the kid-almost. He must have realized who had shut him, after all, you two were dating (and Hawks had made sure that everyone knew that).

Hawks sauntered over, a dark grin wrapping against his complexion as he kneeled down to get to the kids level.

“I’d watch what you say, kid- my feathers can get sharper when I want them to,” 

A gulp could be heard from Mineta, his skin paling as the #2 hero, the one dating the pretty herione in front of him, had pretty much threatened him.

Yeah, he stayed quiet after that.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

Taggings:

Everything Taglist (All Fics, All Characters):

@bunnythepipsqueak​ @pasteldaze​  @ionlyspeakinmyheroacademia​     @notadrian​  @hithoeshi​ @sizzlingbarbarianglitter​ @sunnie-nugget​ @shoutosteakettle​ @we-mentally-unstable​ @sm0kingcrack​ @wesparklebitch @kac-chowsballs

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ

Buy Me A Kofi| Masterlist

[a-duck-with-a-book]

REVIEW // Nevernight (The Nevernight Chronicle, #1) by Jay Kristoff

★☆☆☆☆

So I’m very late to the party, but I just finished reading Nevernight by Jay Kristoff I had such high hopes for this series based off of what people recommending it had told me and what I read about it before picking up. Dark fantasy? Check. Strong leading lady? I’m here for it. Gays? It’s literally my only personality trait. Sign me up. Unfortunately, this book fell flat in all those categories. It reminded me a lot of Sarah J. Maas’s Throne of Glass, which made me take one point off of to begin with simply for making me think of Maas’s writing. Overall, I just found the book to be too predictable, with bad writing, exposition, and pacing, and too many parts that just made me ~uncomfortable~.

In case you are not familiar with this novel, Nevernight tells the story of Mia Corvere, a girl who lost her family when she was a child after her father was convicted of treason. When the book begins, she is 16 years old and embarking on a journey to join the Red Church, a school for assassins, so that she may one day be able to avenge her father’s death. Along the way she meets a bunch of forgettable characters whose names I can’t be bothered to remember and is taught by the most fearsome killers in the Republic. Here she gains many valuable skills, like how to survive being poisoned, how to fight, and how to get big boobs.

+ Side note: by chapter 3 three I started picturing Mia as the crow guy from RWBY and I could not shake that for the rest of the book

I had many issues with this novel that I will try to summarize in some sort of coherent fashion, but to be honest this book sucked the will to live out of me so I don’t know how much energy I can put into this review.

// image: official cover art by Jason Chan //

FOOTNOTES

The footnotes were probably the most jarring element of the book for me, and, unfortunately, there’s a lot of them. Their function seems to be twofold:

they are the form of most of the world-building, explaining several customs, the history of the institutions and peoples Mia meets, and the mythology followed by the people of the Republic.

they allow for the narrator of our story to interrupt with comical one-liners or cryptic foreshadowing

In my humble opinion, both of these are unnecessary and stupid. The interruptions come off as crass and immature and make the other more textbook, boring exposition come off as a joke, especially when it is dealing with sensitive or serious topics. There is one that explains this brothel called the Seven Flavors, which the footnote explains refer to “Boy, Girl, Man, Woman, Pig, Horse, and, if sufficient notice and coin was given, Corpse.” Now, on its own, this passing mention of pedophilia, bestiality, and necrophilia could very well contribute to the world building and tone of the novel, but when placed side by side with the childish, joking tone of the “cue the violiiiiiiiins” or, regarding the acoustics of a room, “…they were, as it happens, exceptional. Falalalalalalaaaaaaaa”, come off as way too light-hearted for the topic at hand. Maybe I’m being way too sensitive, but I’m pretty tired of authors using serious topics as off-hand remarks as a lazy way to make their world daker and grittier. Plus, these footnotes were just so incredibly cringy that I would recoil from second-hand embarrassment every time. They resemble the things I wrote when I was 14 and trying (and miserably failing) to be funny. Also… there are way too many of them. While at first I appreciated the attempt to deepen the lore of the story (I’m a sucker for world-building), after a while it became evident that the author was just forcing information down our throats without taking the time to actually weave the lore and background into the story itself. It came off as a very lazy way to force exposition.

OVERLY FLOWERY LANGUAGE

This story is BRIMMING with similes and metaphors, like every other sentence is some overly complicated way to describe something that could have been presented in three words. When you include so many metaphors/similes/etc., they begin to lose power. They should allow the reader to extrapolate more meaning and emotion from a sentence, but if the book is bursting at the seams with them, they become increasingly ordinary, to the point of losing all of their luster. One prime example appears on page 30:

“It was a bucktoothed little shithole, and no mistake. Not the most miserable building in all creation. [here there is a footnote about some other inn/brothel] But if the inn were a man and you stumbled into him in a bar, you’d be forgiven for assuming he had—after agreeing enthusiastically to his wife’s request to bring another woman into their marriage bed—discovered his bride making up a pallet for him in the guest room.”

So first of all what the fuck is that supposed to mean? That whole paragraph is a fever dream. Let’s begin with “bucktoothed little shithole”. Bucktoothed? Really? What does that mean. Please, someone explain to be right now what a bucktoothed building is. Is it uneven? Is it awkward? Is it half-finished? Is one side longer than the other? Did they do a bad paint job that only covers on side? Are the windows askew? Is the door too big for its frame? We already know from the paragraph above that it is “disheveled” as well, so why the need for another weird phrasing of its appearance? We then move on to that whole JOURNEY of a sentence, where the inn is compared to a man being cuckolded. That is the most insane tale-can you imagine running into someone in a bar and that story being the VERY FIRST thing that runs through your mind??? I know I’m focusing way too much on this stupid paragraph, but basically what I am trying to get at is that even though we spend half a page talking about how bucktoothed and disheveled and cuckolded this building is, we get no actual physical description of it. Imagine if Kristoff had just written that it was a run-down, ill-kept building that looked as worse for wear as its owner did. Done, one sentence. Great. Let’s move on. Instead, we spend so long reading these absolutely batshit descriptions that ultimately tell us next to nothing. Flowery language is placed over actual context. You may think that a description this long and complex means that this inn is a significant or recurring setting in the novel. Nope. It’s not. Mia leaves and that’s that. The reason that I’m focusing so much on this objectively irrelevant paragraph is because it is so representative of the biggest issue I have with the writing in this book. There are so many unnecessary comparisons that function only to make the author feel clever rather than add anything to the story at all. It’s very à la 2010s Tumblr.

THE (IN MY OPINION, BAD) WRITING

For the first half of the book, we are constantly being TOLD things rather than being SHOWN things. With the exception of one of the teachers cutting off Mia’s arm, we rarely see the ruthlessness that the assassins are so feared for, but we hear about it in nearly every other sentence Where are the consequences? I think this book would have been way more enjoyable if there were actually consequences to the characters’ actions. The inclusion of the weaver and the weird vampire guy completely remove any tension regarding the fate of the central cast. When Mia had her arm chopped off, I was shocked, and pleasantly surprised. How was she going to overcome this unexpected obstacle in her training? Then a couple pages later, its reattached with absolutely no lasting consequences. All of the initial tension and shock value of the loss of Mia’s arm is entirely removed because of the two incest-y siblings. Their entire purpose for existing is just to undo all damage to the main characters. Then suddenly, out of the blue, Mia is willing to take on a ton of consequences and completely throw away her chance at becoming initiated in order to avenge her family just to save Tric from receiving like one punishment??? Like why?? As an aside, the only moment I truly enjoyed was when Ash fucking stabbed Tric to death. I assume that when the reader’s favorite moment is one of the central characters’ death, it does not bode well for their reception of the book.

THE THEMES

TW: rape-y subjects

The author seemed a little too keen to include rape and sexual assault in his story. Mia withdrew her consent in the sex scene in the very first chapter, and even if you read it as consensual (which I do not), it is described as incredibly unpleasant on her end. Tric is the result of a rape, which is brought up several times throughout the story. Further, Mia is constantly facing harassment from men. I understand that this is frames the idea that the world she lives in is misogynistic and ruthless, but there are other ways to push that idea through other than constantly putting in her in those situations. As in, this didn’t need to be the ONLY way we explored this subject. Beyond the uncomfortable propensity for sexual assault, I also very much disliked the sexualization of the 16-year-old main character. Oh. My. Gosh. Mia is CONSTANTLY sexualized. Every single damn character makes comments about her body, how hot she is, how much sex she potentially has. It is so weird and uncomfortable. I feel the need to reiterate that she is SIXTEEN. There is, however, a focus placed on the power Mia can gain from seducing her targets. Girl power? Not to me, really. The issue I have with this is the idea that a woman has to be overtly sexual in order to be considered powerful. This is something that we can see in many female assassins and supposedly powerful female characters in fiction (like Black Widow) especially those written by men. Now, there is nothing wrong with using one’s sexuality as a weapon, and I’m certainly not saying that a strong female character cannot be sexual, but the idea that a sixteen-year-old girl is shown having her body painfully modified tp be more desirable, and in a graphic sex scene with another character, in order to for the reader to read her as liberated and powerful does not sit well with me. I don’t really feel like this aspect of her training should be relevant to the overall story. I wish the time that Kristoff had dedicated to hammering into our heads that Mia is a femme fatale to developing her Darkin powers instead. The way she is written now feels more like she is a faux strong female character written for a male audience.

Secondly, Mia is fully written as “the plain-girl-who-is-actually-pretty”. This whole trope bothers me IMMENSELY. YA is full of girls who are described as plain, forgettable, or ugly while their physical descriptions are just the dictionary definition of conventionally attractive. It seems like a way to market off of girls’ self-consciousness while still being able to market the main character as a hot heroine in official art. And there is, of course, the issue of Mia’s boob job Readwithcindy (just “withcindy” now!) did a whole video about this so I won’t get into it much just to repeat what she already said, but I agree that the idea of a 30-something year old man including this completely unnecessary detail regarding the sexualization of teenage girl, who we have ALREADY seen in a rape and being sexualized by other men in the story, made me really, really, uncomfortable. I highly recommend you go watch her video, as she touches on this in way more detail. [Cindy's video

RATINGS

Worldbuilding: ★★☆☆☆

A lot of thought obviously went into the world-the mythology, society, and politics are well-thought out. But the way they are introduced is annoying and bland. It seems like the author put a lot of effort into constructing this world but realized a lot of it would be left out of the book, so he crammed it into footnotes instead.

Tone and writing style: ★☆☆☆☆ for first half, ★★★☆☆ for second half

The tone of the first half is all over the place, like it doesn’t know if it should be dark and gritty or comical and immature. Footnotes and character dialogue ranges from lighthearted and crass to seeped with themes of torture and sexual assault. It is jarring, to say the least, and often feels like the author doesn’t take these ideas of rape or violence seriously. There are so many instances where the scene is tense or gritty, and Kristoff is actually writing it pretty well, I’m enthralled and on the edge of my seat, and then Mia or some other character (or the footnotes) throw in some stupid comment or make the same “Mia is such an asshole lol” joke for the billionth time and completely ruin the mood of that scene. The second half of the book moved much faster and was helped with way better writing, but it really did not do enough to make up for the horrendous structure of the first half of the book.

Pacing and structure: ★☆☆☆☆

The first half of the book really drags on. Once we arrive at the school, there are constant jumps in timeline, marked with periods when a thousand things happen all at once and the plot moves forward at a dizzying rate, and others when the characters just seem to be going about their daily lessons.

Concept: ★★★☆☆

I found the overall idea of the books to be very interesting, even though it is certainly not the most original or unique concept for a YA fantasy book. The issue is that the potential is squandered with a poor execution.

Characters: ★☆☆☆☆

I truly did not care about any of the characters. The token mean girl, the bumbling nice-guy-who-is-definitely-the-love-interest. too many of the characters just sat nicely within their tropes, doing nothing much to pique my interests. I think my favorite overall was Mister Kindly.

[tf2hcs]

can i get uhhhhhhh.. trans merc head canons?? maybe found family?? thanks!

you can DEFINITELY get trans merc headcanons. comin up hot. i have so many headcanons pertaining to the mercs being trans that i can’t fit them into one post, so i’m just gonna do stuff related to transitioning here, and if you wanna hear about how i think they realized they’re trans or came out, ill do a post about that too

Soldier:

you know how cis people think that you have dysphoria ur whole life and then you get The Surgery (The Surgery) and it all goes away that very day? and that’s just. it? solider is the only person on earth for whom that holds true

he has rod-insert phalloplasty and double incision top surgery

Jane Doe is actually his real birth name, it doesn’t give him dysphoria so he just kept it

his phalloplasty used his arm as the donor site, so he’s got a patch of pinkish skin on his left arm

he transitioned pretty early on, maybe in his early twenties. he’s known he’s trans since he was a kid

shaving gives him INTENSE gender euphoria

Scout:

he just went on T and boy is he excited

he runs in his binder (dumb) and frequently binds with bandages (dumb), so he has at least one deformed rib. twinsies 

like as SOON as he finds out medic is trans he asks for top surgery & gets it. he gets periareolar top surgery

when medic explains to him that periareolar top surgery keeps nipple sensation intact but double incision doesn’t he immediately starts calling the other mercs “numb-nips”

“it’s my shot day someone come stab me in the așs”

he didn’t choose his own name, his mom chose it for him when he came out. if he chose it it would’ve CLEARLY been tommy, as a tribute to tom jones

Medic:

double incision top surgery

i know this is wildly unrealistic but it’s tf2 so i will claim it. medic gave himself top surgery and instead of giving himself nipple grafts he just like, carved a smiley face and star of david on there

he knows the most about trans health and history out of all the mercs (partially because he’s old, partially because he’s a doctor, partially because he’s more involved in the community than the others)

because of this the other mercs come to him for help with trans issues a lot

he wants to have a baby biologically SO bad. so so bad. i think i get this headcanon from how lovingly he holds that baboon baby in the comics

he works really hard to preserve his fertility throughout his transition and as he gets older. he doesn’t end up being able to have a baby until he’s in his 50s but he’s so happy when he does

i could go off about my dad medic headcanons for hours but ill save that for another post if u guys request

Demo:

double incision top surgery for this guy too

talks about being trans all the time (every time i watch meet the demo and he says “i got a manky eye, i’m a black scottish cyclops” i mentally add transgender to the list)

constantly jokes about how he “blew it off” (you know what “it” is)

he has relatively bad dysphoria his entire life, but being open about it really helps

he doesn’t even know soldier is trans until he asks about the skin graft on his arm. he sees him use his rod implant and he just accepts that that’s how penises work

you know how being skilled with explosives runs in the degroot family?? my personal headcanon is that transness is also genetic to the degroots. both of demo’s parents were trans. ill talk about this more in another post if u guys want

Heavy:

no top surgery, his chest is a little large compared to a cis guy’s but his overall size makes it look more normal

if he ever does get top surgery, though, he gets inverted T/anchor incision

he has PCOS. he got a hysterectomy when medic was rooting around in there for the first time and noticed the cysts (”there will be so much more room in here once we get rid of your uterus!!” “room for what?” “…oh, you know”)

i think he might get full meta?? (as in metoidioplasty) i cant decide if he’d want a vaginectomy though. help me decide

Spy:

double incision top surgery. he paid top dollar for it, it’s very nicely done

he refers to his top surgery as a “mastectomy” (which is the correct term but like, who says that)

he gave birth to scout. he was pregnant when he met scout’s mom, and after he gave birth to scout he ended up leaving him with her. i cant decide if it was more of a “can you please take my baby” situation or a “im going to the store to get milk” situation. either way though i don’t think scout’s mom would’ve objected to keeping him, he was an adorable baby

he owns so many packers. he gets them custom made. he has them displayed in his closet like designer wigs

Sniper:

no surgery at all! he never plans on getting it either. that’s why he has the vest

his chest is like, small and somewhat muscular. you guys have seen skinny trans men with muscle tîtty before i don’t have to explain this to you

actually i want you to take this discord screenshot. i said this last thursday

he’s one of the most obviously trans mercs because he just insists on dressing like he based his outfit off the wikihow article for how to pass as male

i can say a lot more about my trans hcs for sniper in another post but im trying to keep this one at a readable length (failed step one)

Engineer:

no top surgery!

i think he has simple meta or maybe full meta without a vaginectomy (*epic rap battles of history voice* you decide)

he transitioned much later in life than the other mercs, his transition only actually started like five years ago

Pyro:

they’re agender!!

AFAB with no surgery or HRT

they use they/them pronouns or alternating he/she (”he’s not here, is she?”)

there’s not much to say about pyro’s gender! they just don’t have one

OH HOLY SHIT DO THE MERCS THROW THEM A GENDER REVEAL PARTY

ASKFLDLJSDKFLJDSFLKSDJFDLSKFJLSK

BONUS

Miss Pauling:

you know how when some trans women start hrt, they get really bad cravings for pickles? miss p has that like hell

she eats a hot pickle in her car every single day. it gets to the point where the people who work the graveyard shift at mcdonalds remember her (she has a habit of ordering “a fry container full of pickle slices”)

she takes estrogen but she doesn’t have any surgery! i dont think she ever gets any

scout very nervously explains to her that he’s trans at one point and all she can do is blink and say “did you think i was cis”

thank you for taking this journey with me. now imagine how long this list would’ve been if i didn’t narrow it down

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #11- Soak the Matrix in Lemon Juice and Break Out the Hairdryers

So, small problem.

Prowl realized he was in the wrong comic run and had to split.

But not before yelling at Orion about how stupid he thinks this National Treasure bullshit he’s trying to pull is, and makes a request that Chromedome be left out of this whole mess.

Why the fuck wouldn’t you tell him that?

Bye, Prowl. See you later, I guess.

Chromedome and Roller have brought in some help for the heist from the local college. These students were super gung-ho about stealing the Matrix, not because they’re agents of political chaos, but because the Senator has his name attached to this little project. They feel a certain debt to the Senator, since he’s been doing his best to protect them from the Functionist Council.

Gee, wonder who that truck is.

We get a little rundown of our new friends, while Chromedome has a minor temper tantrum in the background.

Skids is also a member of this group, labelled as a super-learner, enough so that it may not even be a voluntary thing on his part.

In the present day, Swerve’s returned from stealing things from Trailcutter’s room, apparently totally unaware of what’s happened to his roommate. You’d think someone would have gotten in contact with him about that.

I mean, maybe? You did say you liked purple.

Swerve lets it slip that this isn’t the only story time circle Rewind’s hosted in an attempt to get Rung’s brain back up to speed… which makes me wonder just how often the medical staff on board the Lost Light actually check on their patients, if Ratchet had been surprised that this event was happening today.

Swerve makes fun of Tailgate for needing to open up the wiki so he can keep track of what’s going on, then goes over to call Rung the wrong name. Swerve is very lucky Rung is essentially in a coma right now, because that’s probably the only thing keeping him from trying to strangle our resident barkeep.

Whirl helps Rung express himself by playing with his eyebrows, a trait which, now that I think about it, probably only exists for expressive purposes, considering that his eyes are covered by his glasses and we can’t see their shape.

Rewind saves Rung from being played with, perhaps solely because he’s a historical constant.

So you’re saying Rung gets around. Nifty.

Rewind decides that they’ve taken enough of a break and it’s time to get back to the juicy stuff, completely blowing off Ratchet’s professional opinion about what to do with Rung.

Nothing gets in the way of story time.

Nothing.

In the past, Orion Pax is poking Skids in the face, specifically in his mini Matrix tattoo, which is giving him ideas. Skids is a little weirded out, but this isn’t about Skids, now is it? Chromedome goes to pay a visit to a coworker to get things set for the madness that’s about to unfold.

My boy! My beautiful boy!

Yes, Ironfist, before shooting himself in the head and having his spirit broken by the horrors of direct combat, used to be a cop. Everyone’s a cop in IDW, at least for a little while. He’s also missing his faceplate, and isn’t nearly as cute in Milne’s style, but we can’t have it all all the time, now can we?

Chromedome’s feeding into Ironfist’s fanboy nature, pretending to be just as much as a nerd as he is to call in a favor. In exchange for getting Ironfist’s Delta Magnus body pillow back from their boss, Chromedome needs to borrow Ironfist’s one-to-one replica of the Matrix.

I mean, you practically are already, but the sentiment is appreciated. We haven’t gotten to the point where we’re comfortable with thank you kisses yet, and it’ll be a while still.

While the Senator and company gush over Chromedome’s good job, Roller pulls Ratchet and Orion over to the side for a little chat.

Roller doesn’t trust the Senator. He’s done his research, weighed their options, and he really isn’t sure about this guy. Turns out that Orion isn’t the only guy who’s been modified to fit a Matrix without his consent. Honestly, I’m with Roller on this one; that’s mad creepy to be loading the bases like that.

Orion doesn’t really see it that way, though.

Only one of these things was ever a secret, my guy. You worked with Whirl, he was in your precinct for crying out loud! At least he admits to his ignorance.

Back in the present, we check in on Rodimus’ investigation. Looks like we’ve got our answer on who tried to kill Red Alert.

It was Red Alert.

First Aid explains.

Fascinating.

Rodimus fails to see why exactly Red Alert would choose to go this route, because A) he doesn’t know that Red Alert knows about the dirty little secret in the basement, and B) despite probably having depression, may not be the type to have suicidal ideation. It’s true, those types of people exist!

Oh, this is a savior’s complex thing. Nyon really fucked you up, huh Rodimus?

After Ultra Magnus gets Rodimus to stop accosting the doctor, they’re faced with a sort of moral quandary.

IDW’s More Than Meets the Eye! Come for the space adventure, stay for the rumination on whether it’s ethical to allow a mentally ill person the right to self-termination!

After consulting with Drift, because it’s always important to get a second opinion, Rodimus agrees to put Red Alert in cold storage, to remain until their quest is finished and they’re in a place that’s better for his mental health.

Anyway, back to the heist plotline.

Orion breaks down the plan for everybody: the basilica is nearly impossible to break into, but they’re going to do it anyway, because this is the past, and we as the reader already know that things go alright because Chromedome, Ratchet and Skids are still here and Optimus Prime came into being.

Roller will hack the sky spies, make things look all hunky dory, while the rest of the boys magic carpet up to the top of the building.

Looking mighty relaxed there, Glitch.

Glitch is probably sitting down to conserve as much energy as possible, because his job sucks some major chrome- he’s got to keep the detector beams off, using his outlier ability, but it really friggin’ hurts for him to do it. He’s going to have to do it for an extended period of time.

Glitch really got the short end of the stick in all this, didn’t he?

Okay, so I was wrong, Skids uses his grappling hook a fucking shit-ton in MTMTE. Today, he’s going to use it to lower Orion down into the basilica so he can crack open a cold one and steal the Matrix.

Things can never just be simple, can they?

Over on Roller’s end of the workflow, Chromedome’s irritated that he’s got to babysit the Senator. Chromedome spends a good portion of this story arc irritated at stuff, in case you couldn’t tell.

In this case, the Senator agrees that having Chromedome stay back was probably unnecessary. Or at least, he did, until he noticed that the Academy of Advanced Technology is burning to the ground on live TV.

Then the wall explodes.

Things can never just be simple, can they?

Back on the front lines, Orion tags out and Ratchet tags in, because the locks on the Matrix are mad crazy hard to undo and they just don’t have time for pussyfooting around with all that. Ratchet is apparently a master lock pick. Must be those magic medic hands.

Even the Matrix being full of Fiji water is no match for our CMO, as he makes quick work of the bomb and removes it. Hooray! Now we just need to pull him back up and we’ll be all set to leave.

Or at least, we would be, if Glitch wasn’t the dumbest bitch alive.

Ratchet braces for an explosion.

And braces.

And braces.

But it never comes, because Windcharger has magic arms and zero patience for facing his own mortality.

The boys haul up Ratchet and the bomb, fly on out of there, then Orion jumps off the slab they’re floating on because Roller was supposed to call and he hasn’t. I’m going to hazard a guess and say that Roller might be a bit preoccupied at the moment, and it isn’t by the television.

That is a BIG BOY.

“Cleanse and control” was what Trepan’s idiotic tattoo said, so there’s a good chance that our buddy the Senator is about to go the way of Pious Maximus in a minute. Or at least, he would if Orion Pax didn’t embrace is inner monster truck and punch a hole in the big boy holding the Senator like Lennie does a rabbit.

Kroma isn’t one to let the opposite side have all the cards though, as he holds a gun to Roller’s head and suggests that the Senator be given to him, lest we be down a cop in this story that’s simply awash with them. The Senator, being the nice guy that he is, goes willingly to his doom.

Be a lot easier if we knew your name, bud.

The Senator is taken away, but Kroma leaves Orion with the other big boy, and he’s not playing nicely. Orion helps himself by way of domestic terrorism.

But that’s not the end of the story! Oh dear no!

After the explosion, Orion unearths Chromedome, and they make tracks for the Institute. Small issue with that though:

Well, dang.

Thus ends the tale of the Matrix heist, the mysterious Senator, and Chromedome’s awkward relationship with Prowl. Our storytelling session ends with the sound of the alarm, and everyone runs off to see just what the hell’s gone wrong now. Only Skids hangs back to take Rung to the medibay, but not before trying one last thing to help his partner in vent-crawling out.

Man, all they had to do was annoy him and everything would have been fine? Rewind’s going to feel so silly for all that work he put into this.

Back in the past, Orion’s digging through the remains of the Rodion police station, when a robot comes up to him, saying that they have a mutual friend who asked him to find Orion if he ever went missing.

The mutual friend was the Senator.

And the robot is Zeta, who would become Zeta Prima.

The Senator was really playing the field with all these Matrix reformattings.

Speaking of the Senator, he’s just arrived at a The Institute, where they’ve decided to not only shadowplay him, but also empurata his whole deal just to be assholes. He just wanted to be beautiful, on top of conniving, but I guess we won’t be having any of that anymore. Not that it’ll matter.

Because vanity is illogical.

No wonder Whirl’s so goddamn angry all the time.

[chaseandjackson]

Do me a favour

chapter three 

What every mother wants for her son, a nice girl

 Annabeth had officially agreed to be my fake girlfriend and we had a contract that suited us both, I personally looked forward to not being asked a million questions about why I’m single and rather Annabeth being asked a million questions as to why she’s dating me, cant wait to hear her fake reason.

I left the coffee shop and headed home, I knew I was late for dinner, but it was take out night, so when I got home my loving family had thankfully saved me some pizza. We did our usual rounds of chatting. I asked my mum how the new book was coming along and she asked me how school was going, Estelle told us about a new boy in her kindergarten class that was left out so she asked him to play with her dinosaurs, I’m telling you she a great kid, nothing like me, at her age id already been in my first fight at school. Some things never change.

Whilst helping my mum clean up after dinner, she mentioned her book release party

“its next Saturday and the whole family’s going Percy which includes you and you need to look nice maybe a jacket and tie, and you will tuck your shirt in” she laughed

“ I promise mum ill look nice” I told her “anyway about the party I was hoping…”

“you’re not getting out it Percy”

“yeah I know mum I wanted to ask if I could bring someone” mum didn’t even bat an eyelid at my request

“yeah of course Grover can come you know he’s always welcome” she told me. You see Grover is my oldest and closest friend we’ve known each other since we were dorky losers at the age of 11. Both of us were new to the school and had no friends, we quickly had each other’s back and have ever since.

“no mum not Grover” I laughed “ I want to bring my girlfriend” that got mums attention

“girlfriend” she questioned

“yeah mum you don’t need to sound so shocked” she laughed

“I’m not shocked just surprised and pleased for you Percy that’s great it’s about time”

“muuuuummmm” I complained she only laughed at me

“what’s going on in here” Paul asked as he kissed my mum on the cheek. Yes, its gross but its much better than what the last guy she was married to did.

“Percy’s got a girlfriend” my mum proudly told him

“oh really” Paul asked “ who?”

“umm Annabeth chase” I told him

“wow really” he sounded really shocked like it wasn’t real, which obviously it wasn’t but he did know that

“whose Annabeth chase” mum asked

“she’s one of my students, a good one too, high grades she’s very popular at school as well, how did you become her boyfriend exactly” Paul laughed as my mum whacked him, though she was also laughing

I was offended that they thought she was out of my league; she is hence the fact that were not really dating but still.

“she happens to find me funny and charming” I told them

“I don’t believe that for second” Paul laughed “but good on you anyway”

“yes Percy of course Annabeth can come” mum said finally moving on from the fact that she was to good for me “any chance we could meet her first”

“umm yeah maybe” I answered

“why don’t you invite her for dinner this week” Paul suggested

I told them I would and disappeared upstairs with the excuse that I had homework which needed doing (which was true) so I could avoid talking about the fact that I have a new girlfriend (which was not true)

 I didn’t talk to Annabeth over the weekend and I wasn’t planning on talking to her until lunch, however those plans were thrown into the wind when I shut my locker and was greeted by Selina

“good morning” she said sweetly though it felt like she was about to end me

“uhh morning” ok good I sounded confident (not true)

“so what’s this I hear about you an Annabeth” right Annabeth must have told her

“what” I was coming off really dumb in this conversation

“she told me perce” I was really confused now, did Annabeth tell her we were dating or that we were fake dating

“look dumbass” rude but fair “ if you’re gonna be my best friends boyfriend you have to pass my test, Annabeth has a self destructive streak and I need to make sure you’re not the detonator”

I had no idea what she meant when she said self destructive streak, but what I did get from that conversation was that Annabeth had told her best friend that I was her boyfriend, step one of my plan complete.

“uhh ok shoot” I was not ready to be questioned but I had a feeling Selina wasn’t leaving without a interview.

“ok I use to have an intensive questionnaire but I worked out that there’s only one question that really matters and that’s why do you want to date Annabeth”

the question hit me like a train, I wasn’t expecting something so deep, the answer clearly meant a lot to Selina, and I guessed what other people had said before was, she’s hot or she popular or maybe even that she’s smart. And I may be oblivious or not the smartest guy but I’m not an idiot. I knew that they weren’t good enough reasons to want to be with someone.

To be honest with you I’m not really the type of guy to date because its fun or because I can. Even at this age I believe in dating someone to fall in love or spend your lives together however sappy that sounds, and i haven’t met anyone that I want to fall in love with yet, maybe because I’m only 18 or maybe because I’m a dumbass.

And I know that Selina has similar beliefs, I don’t know her well but I’ve know her for a long time and I knew the answer to this question was important because it’s the kind of question I ask myself when I started dating anyone, so I gave her the only answer I could

“because Annabeth isn’t like anyone else I’ve met, she doesn’t look at me like I’m a loser, or a dumbass even though I am. I wanna be with Annabeth because I’ve known her for along time and she never stops amazing me, or growing as a person, she’s hands down the nicest, smartest most thoughtful person I know, (all true) why wouldn’t I want to date her”

Selina looked satisfied by that “nice answer perce” she smiled a real genuine simile “but I’ve got my eye on you” and with that she flipped her fair and walked away

“yeah seaweed brain that was a good answer” if I was more observant I would have picked up on the fact that Selina kept glancing past me or that when she flipped her hair she threw a wink to whoever was behind me, if I paid more attention I would have noticed it was Annabeth stood there

“what can I say I’m an excellent boyfriend” I joked, Annabeth and I both knew I meant what I said but neither of us needed to say it

“apparently so” she laughed

“anyway, I was gonna ask you later but since you’re here, are you free after school at all this week”

“umm yeah I’m free Wednesday, why”

“did you wanna come over for dinner, you know meet the family and stuff”

Annabeth laughed “yeah I can do that”

“ok great ill drive you home on Wednesday then” after that we both headed to our classes.

 The next few days ran smoothly Annabeth and I talked in the morning and in between classes, we got our food together at lunch but we didn’t sit together which was ok, finally Wednesday rolled around, and the final bell rang.

In the time it took me to get to my locker Annabeth had somehow been to her locker, gotten rid of all her books, put a jumper on, said goodbye to her friends and made it to my locker, man that girl was quick.

“man, you’re slow” Annabeth laughed as I finally reached her

“yeah whatever” I laughed as I shoved my books into my locker “so ready for dinner”

“yes I will be on my best behaviour” Annabeth told me in a joking tone

“you know you’re having dinner with me right, you can be on your worst behaviour but still better than me” that made Annabeth laugh and she pushed me (in a friendly way) as we left the building.

Luckily we beat my parents home as we went straight to my house. My plan was to dump our bags in my room then go hang out in the living room, Annabeth however had other plans when she got in my room.

You don’t realise how much of yourself you revel in your room until you have someone stood in there judging it and essentially you. Annabeth turned to my open wardrobe mainly filed with hoodies and flannels, she eyed the photos of my family and friends on my desk, including photos of me holding my baby sister, and spending time fishing with my half-brother, Tyson. She looked at the posters on my wall, the marvel comics going back through the years, the office poster of Michael Scott’s movie threat level midnight, she did a double take at the worn out guitar in the corner, and the laptop which was still playing the good place on Netflix. It felt like she was judging my soul then she simply said

“cool room” I didn’t realise I was holding my breath until I breathed out. “I didn’t know you played guitar”

“umm yeah it was Pauls, when he started dating my mum he wanted to find something we could do together so he taught me, on my first birthday after they got married he gave me his guitar, he told me he always wanted to teach his kids, it was a big moment for us” I told her closing my wardrobe

She smiled at me “wow you really are a big softie aren’t you” I laughed. Annabeth spent the next half hour questioning basically everything in my room, we even got onto the topic of Tyson, Annabeth only stopped when she heard Estelle’s voice screaming for snacks

“ahh the family’s home” I joked as we walked downstairs.

“hello mother, Paul. This is Annabeth” I pointed at her; my mother hugged her instantly

“hi Annabeth, its so nice to meet you” Annabeth took a moment to recover

“umm its nice to meet you too Mrs Jackson”

“oh sweetie just call me sally”

“oh umm ok nice to meet you sally” id seen Annabeth be confident in every situation ever, but for the first time she seemed nervous, she would soon realise that my mum is the easiest person on earth to talk to

“and um hi Mr blofis”

“hi Annabeth, you can call me Paul here if you want”

“hi Paul” Annabeth smiled, mum and Paul went to put the shopping away in the kitchen

“your parents seem nice” Annabeth let out a nervous laugh

“yeah sorry about them being weird and everything, they’re just over excited I’ve never bought a girl over before” Annabeth looked surprised

“really why”

“I’ve never really had you know a proper girlfriend, I’ve been on dates and stuff but you know” I rubbed the back of my neck ( a nervous habit)

“that surprises me”

“umm yeah we’ll talk about it later” I laughed nudging her into the living room

“hi Estelle, this is Annabeth, you know the one I was talking about” Estelle was playing with her dinosaurs on the floor, she turned to look at Annabeth

“this is henry my dinosaur” she told her

“hi henry nice to meet you” Annabeth said sitting down to play with Estelle

“are all of these dinosaurs yours” Annabeth asked, Estelle nodded

“but you can have Tina so you can play as well” Estelle said holding up a stegosaurus which Annabeth happily took and played along with her

“you’re good with kids” I told her

“yeah I have little brothers, they’re twins so they needed twice the entertainment” she laughed

“I didn’t know you had brothers”

“I dint know you had a brother” she countered with

“fair point” I laughed.

Annabeth and I played with Estelle for about an hour before dinner was ready. I could tell you everything that happened over dinner but all you really need to know is that I absolutely made the right decision when I asked Annabeth to be my fake girlfriend. She was incredible, smart, funny my parents just loved her so much. It was a lovely evening.

I drove Annabeth home after dinner. I parked outside her house.

“thank you, Annabeth, for tonight. I mean really it went so well” I told her

“you know what your family are so nice and friendly I really did have a good time.” She said, I thanked her again as I walked her to the door, we hugged good night and I drove home

I walked into the living room where the rest of my family was and asked

“so, what do you think of Annabeth”

(this was my favourite chapter to write so far, thats why its slightly longer also sorry for the long wait, i started writing this chapter ages ago then it deleted its self then i moved to uni so havent really started writing again, sat down this evening and wrote the whole thing in one go. hopefully more chapters to come soon and please let me know what you think of the book so far. lots of love and all that crap)

[theajaheira]

imperfections (65/?)

read it on ao3!

i should have packed for my college visit, but instead i wrote this chapter. smart? no. time-savvy? also no. i am a champion

Jenny returned to work a few days before Rupert was due to, mostly because she had missed more than enough class already. She made a polite apology to Snyder (who, based on his thinly veiled threats, had completely forgotten that he’d technically already fired her), assigned some homework to the classes she’d missed, and swung by the library after school to pick up a few of the books Rupert had requested for pleasure reading, Willow and Faith in tow. Willow had the list of books that Rupert had written up, and Faith said she’d left her headphones in the library.

They were extremely surprised to find the library already open for business.

“Is that supposed to happen?” said Faith, squinting at the propped-open door. “That’s not supposed to happen, right? Don’t they need an actual librarian to run the library?”

“That would be me,” came a voice, and the door was opened all the way. A young man, about college-age, wearing an impeccably pressed suit and a pair of wire-rimmed glasses, was looking at them with an expression that reminded Jenny strikingly of Rupert at his stuffiest.

“Watcher!” said Faith loudly, pointing at the guy with a huge grin on her face.

Willow started giggling, and when Jenny noticed the affronted expression on the man’s face, she couldn’t help but join in. “I’m sorry,” she gasped, pressing her fingers to her mouth, “it’s just—your face!” and then she too succumbed to laughter.

“Yes,” said the Watcher, looking somewhat bothered, “well—”

“I’m getting good at spotting them, right, Jen?” said Faith, sounding extremely proud of herself.

“I’ll have to get you some reward ice cream on the ride home,” Jenny managed, squeezing Faith’s shoulder. To the Watcher, she added, “Sorry, did we, uh, ruin your moment? We’re really just here to pick up some books.”

“Now seems like a good time to formally introduce myself,” said the Watcher, now visibly flustered. “I-I had intended to wait until Miss Summers and Miss Lehane arrived at the library in search of Mr. Giles, but—”

“Oh, no, Giles is at home,” said Faith, looking bemused. “With us. He’s taking the day off today to take Buffy to the ice show, and then tomorrow he’s getting some TLC from his honey—” Willow elbowed her, and Faith hastily revised her statement, “—uh, some, some completely professional time with Ms. C, and then it’s back to work for him.”

“Yeah, we know where he’s at,” Willow agreed. “We’re all taking a break from vampire slaying till he’s feeling better.”

The opportunity was just too good to pass up. “You can’t really slay vamps without a smart, capable Watcher, right?” said Jenny innocently.

“Well,” began the new Watcher, puffing up.

“Let us know if you find one,” said Jenny, patting the new Watcher’s shoulder.

Faith hid her face in Willow’s shoulder, shaking with suppressed laughter. The new Watcher stared at Jenny as though not quite sure how he had lost control of this situation. “Wesley,” he said weakly. “Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. I’m the, the Council’s new—this is my first—”

“We’ll be back on Friday and you can attempt to commandeer our meetings then,” said Jenny cheerfully. “Till then, I really appreciate you filling in for my boyfriend.” Her hand tightened on Wesley’s shoulder, and she couldn’t help enjoying the way his eyes fluttered fearfully down to it. “But you would do well to remember,” she said, her smile thin, “that Rupert Giles is irreplaceable. And any attempts to replace him won’t end well for you.”

Faith let out a low, impressed whistle. Willow looked extremely pleased.

“The last guy who tried something with him got stabbed,” said Jenny, still smiling. “Let’s hope you’re smart enough to avoid that.”

Wesley had stopped looking afraid and started looking affronted. “Ms. Calendar,” he said. “You are Ms. Calendar, yes? You would do well to remember that I am appointed by the Watchers’ Council to—”

“You didn’t get our memo?” said Faith. “Man, you guys are shit with memos.”

“We’re leaving the Council,” Willow piped up. “You can hang around if you want, but you’ll be contributing to world-saving, not leading it. That’s Buffy’s job.” She considered. “And sometimes Giles and Jenny’s, but mostly Buffy’s.”

Wesley pursed his lips, attempting to shake Jenny’s hand off. It didn’t work. “I will see you on Friday,” he said stiffly. “And I will expect—”

Jenny dropped her hand, turning away and beckoning for the girls to follow. She didn’t think Wesley’s expectations were all that important when it came to the fate of the world.

Wesley was utterly flabbergasted. Not one part of his first interaction with Calendar had gone as planned. She was volatile, certainly, but he hadn’t at all expected that she would have the genuine and unwavering support of one of his Vampire Slayers. From Travers’ description of the situation, Wesley had gathered that Calendar’s judgment was flawed, but that, with some provocation, the Slayers might be steered in the correct direction. However, Miss Lehane had seemed obstinate, coarse, and utterly ill-mannered—absolutely impossible to reach with logic and reason. He hoped Miss Summers wouldn’t be similarly defective.

Still struggling to understand where, exactly, he had gone wrong, Wesley headed in the direction of the staff room, and then stopped in his tracks. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen was rounding the corner, her soft, flaxen hair falling in gentle waves to brush against her shoulders. Her eyes were a sweet sea-green, her mouth a perfect pink—

“You are blocking the hallway,” snapped a thoroughly ill-mannered young girl, shoving past Wesley and catching the lady’s attention. She raised her eyes to his, then gave him a small, amused smile, and Wesley found himself utterly breathless.

“New here, huh?” the lady asked.

Wesley had found Calendar’s American accent distasteful, but the bluntness of the lady’s tone was…stirring. “Ah, yes, I, I’m certainly—yes,” he stammered, blushing. “I’m filling in for, for an absent teacher.”

“You and me both.” The lady shifted the books she was carrying, and Wesley caught the title of one: The Rise and Fall of Ancient Rome.

“You teach history?” he asked shyly.

“I’m subbing,” said the lady with a little smile, as though privy to a joke that no one else knew. “You could say I have a…rich background in history.” She stepped forward, made a motion as if to stick out her hand, and nearly dropped the books. Clutching them to her chest, she laughed at her own clumsiness. “Can’t shake your hand,” she quipped, “but it’s still nice to meet another substitute on staff.”

Something about her seemed different, Wesley thought, well beyond the women he had met in England. “Wesley Wyndam-Pryce,” he said softly. “It truly is a pleasure.”

The woman’s smile was practically a self-satisfied smirk. “I’m Anya,” she said. “Anya Jenkins.”

Rupert and Buffy were already home by the time Jenny and the kids arrived back from school, Buffy chattering happily away about some ice dancer or another while Rupert listened with a small, relaxed smile. Upon seeing her, his smile widened, at which point Buffy noticed, grinned, and turned. “Guys!” she chirped. “I have to tell you about the ice show! Giles bought me one of those programs with the glossy pictures and we got hot chocolate after and he let me have half of his even though I drank all of mine—”

Jenny crossed the room, dropping down on the sofa next to Rupert. “So I think I scared the hell out of the new Watcher,” she informed him, cuddling into his side.

“It was awesome,” Willow agreed.

“There’s a new Watcher?” said Xander with interest.

“Wesley Snooty-Last-Name,” said Faith, making a face. “Thinks he’s gonna train us up.”

“He’s got another think coming,” scoffed Buffy. “I am a one-Watcher girl, and that one Watcher just let me have an obscene amount of hot chocolate.”

Rupert looked extremely pleased by this turn of events. Tilting his pad towards Jenny, he wrote, Can you just keep running them out of town?

“Sure,” said Jenny, and kissed his temple. “So is there anything supernatural on the agenda?”

“Well, Giles says there’s a cave downtown making a lot more noise than it should be,” Buffy answered, crossing the room to sit on the arm of the sofa. “Maybe Faith and I should swing by tomorrow, check it out?”

“Can we try out that clouding spell?” Willow added hopefully in Jenny’s direction. “You said you thought I was good enough at it to use it on vampires—”

“Yes, I did say that,” Jenny agreed, “but we need to practice it a few times tonight before bed, okay? Magic can be a little dicey in the field of battle.”

“Ooh, dramatic,” said Faith, “the field of battle,” and threw herself down on the sofa next to Jenny. “Giles, can you help me with my thing for history? Ms. Jenkins wants us to have a paper done by Monday—”

The name reminded Jenny of something else. “That’s another thing we should practice,” she added to Willow, who beamed. “Lost object spells. Can you check in the library and see if there’s anything we can use to help out Ms. Jenkins?”

“You guys have a library?” said Buffy disbelievingly.

“Sometimes I go in there and read comics,” said Xander happily. “It’s pretty cool.”

Why does Ms. Jenkins need a lost-object spell? Rupert wrote on his pad, looking bemusedly up at Jenny.

“She says she’s looking for some necklace,” Jenny answered, waving her hand.

And she asked you because?

“Uh,” said Jenny. “Willow and I were kinda having a discussion about magical rituals in the grocery store. I guess she must have overheard. I’m still a little on the fence about doing magic with someone I barely know, but at the very least, learning how to find lost objects might be good practice for Willow tonight.”

Rupert relaxed. So nothing’s writ in stone, then.

“Not yet,” Jenny agreed. “Besides which, we have bigger fish to fry than some substitute history teacher. That nest of vamps will definitely need our attention tomorrow.”

“Am I coming?” said Xander uncertainly.

Jenny looked up, surprised. “Why wouldn’t you be?”

“Well, nest of vamps,” said Xander. “Last time something vamp-related went down, you told me and Willow to stay home, remember?”

“Last time something vamp-related went down, Rupert almost got killed,” Jenny reminded Xander, trying to keep her voice light. “I wasn’t exactly operating at full capacity.”

Xander nodded. “Point taken,” he said. “But still—”

Rupert had written something on his pad while Jenny wasn’t looking, and held it up now. Your help is always valued, Xander.

Xander blinked, then grinned a little awkwardly. “Yeah?”

Rupert nodded, giving Xander a small, reassuring smile in return.

“Okay,” said Xander. “Okay. Just, usually I’m not that great with vampires—”

“The trick is to treat vamps like Jen treats Watchers,” said Faith helpfully. “Grab ‘em and stab ‘em. Right, Jen?” Buffy fell off the arm of the sofa, laughing.

“Grab ‘em and stab ‘em,” Xander repeated solemnly to himself.

“Glad to see I’ve imparted some wisdom,” said Jenny, doing her best not to start laughing herself. It felt really, really good to be back in business—especially since Wesley Snooty-Last-Name didn’t seem like the kind of guy who’d be causing any problems for them.

Generally, Anyanka didn’t involve herself with mortals outside of the vengeance gig, and flustered, stuffed-shirt academics weren’t usually her type anyway. But Wesley had been talking pretty loudly about his status as the Slayer’s new Watcher, and Anyanka knew for a fact that the Slayer wasn’t interested in any Watcher but Giles. Paying attention paid off, she thought, and paying attention to eager-to-please Wesley might work out pretty well for her in the long run.

The hardest part, she thought, would be keeping her smile placid and kind. Spending time with that idiot was somewhat akin to the sound of nails on a chalkboard. If she’d had her way, she’d be seducing whip-smart Jenny Calendar or bitingly sarcastic Rupert Giles. Or both. Now that would be interesting. Unfortunately, both Calendar and Giles were definitely smart enough to pick up on her efforts to regain her necklace—though Anyanka’s attempts to reach it through Calendar’s protégé did seem tentatively promising. Perhaps wooing Wesley wouldn’t be necessary after all.

Still, it was important to keep her options open. Anyanka decided she would stop by the mall to stock up on lipstick and business-formal clothing; those Brits really did seem to like their ladies all dolled up.

[lady-divine-writes]

Klaine one-shot - “The Gourd You Give” (Rated PG)

It’s just another day at work for Kurt when a handsome man bursts through the door and begs Kurt for a pumpkin. (1577 words)

A/N: This is a re-write. Warning for mention of illness. Meet cute.

Read on AO3.

“Help me! Quick! I need a pumpkin!”

The words fire out so quickly from the man’s mouth that his request is finished before the bells over the door stop jingling. Kurt looks up from the issue of Vogue open on the counter he’s sitting behind and straight into the eyes of the most desperate man he’s ever seen – harried for certain, curls that have been gelled down within an inch of their life breaking free around his hairline, hazel eyes shimmering from the cold, his cheeks flushed from running (Kurt assumes, since he’s panting like a tired dog). Plus, the door has a brand new dent from where the man slammed into it before he realized it was a pull door and not a push.

“Uh … okay.” Kurt puts a worn business card into the binding of his magazine to mark his spot, then closes it to handle his manic customer. “You do realize you’ve just entered a costume shop, though. Not a supermarket.”

“I know.” The man nods vigorously, taking a deep breath. “I need a pumpkin costume.”

Kurt sits up straighter, intrigued by this man’s request, as well as his adorable, slightly antiquated clothing choices - a sweater vest, a button-down, a bowtie, and a vintage U. S. Navy peacoat. Paired with his dapper good looks, the man pulls it together nicely. Kurt’s eyes zero in on his brightly-colored shoes and go wide. Where on earth did he find a pair of Moods of Norway suede wingtips in pink? They’re sold out everywhere! Kurt has to find a way to ask.

Kurt also can’t help but notice the pride flag pin fixed to the collar of his coat - the new version with the brown and black stripes. Kurt grins.

His recent string of dull afternoons might finally be looking up.

“A pumpkin costume for yourself?” Kurt asks.

“No.” The man shakes his head, a bashful smile splitting his lips. “For my little man, Andy.”

“Oh,” Kurt says, only minorly disappointed at the mention of a son. But children have never been a deal breaker for Kurt. He loves children.

“He’s six,” the man explains, “and when his mom asked him what he wanted to be for Halloween, he said he wanted to be a pumpkin.”

Okay, wife is definitely a deal breaker, Kurt thinks, but he chuckles at the thought of a little boy, who Kurt imagines looks somewhat like this man – raven hair, possibly the same hazel eyes, and olive complexion, waddling around the streets of New York dressed as a giant, gap toothed Jack-O-Lantern.

“He doesn’t even want to be a Jack-O-Lantern,” the man grouses, stunning Kurt into wondering if he hadn’t voiced that thought out loud. “A Jack-O-Lantern costume I can find. He wants to be a regular, boring old pumpkin.”

“How adorable,” Kurt says, giving the man a flirty smile when he knows he shouldn’t. He can’t seem to help himself. Something about the way this man is freaking out over trying to find his little boy a pumpkin costume is too endearing.

“I tried to talk him out of it. For weeks actually. I’ve bought him every costume under the sun that I thought he might like – Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Fluttershy …”

“Fluttershy?”

The man chuckles, but waves the topic off. “That’s a whole other story entirely.”

Maybe for another time? The words almost make their way out of Kurt’s mouth before he mentally slaps himself in the face.

Married. With a kid married. Gear down, Hummel.

“Anyway, he won’t budge. And his mom, she’s a really awesome seamstress, but she’s been sick …” He pauses and swallows after the word sick, and Kurt feels his heart double thump. He’s using the same inflection Kurt remembers his father using when he would tell people that Kurt’s mother was sick. It leads Kurt to believe that ‘sick’ might be a vague reference to something more devastating than the flu that’s been going around.

“Oh,” Kurt says. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

The man nods, pinching his lips between his teeth to keep from going into it. “It’s been kind of a tough time for the little guy. So I thought, you know, if he wants to be a pumpkin so badly, let him be a pumpkin. Only, I can’t sew to save my life.”

“Did you try papier mache?”

“Unfortunately, yes.” The man looks subconsciously at his hands. Kurt peeks and sees bits of dried plaster embedded underneath his nails. “But I thought that a professional costume shop might have something like a really kick-ass pumpkin. I’ve checked online, but I’ve had no luck. I even tried calling some of the performing arts schools, but nobody has one. I guess nobody ever plays a vegetable in a school play anymore.”

“I guess not,” Kurt says sympathetically. He looks at the distraught man and sighs. Kurt feels for him. He really does. He seems like a nice guy – sweet, kind, and caring to a fault, racing around New York City, trying to fulfill a little boy’s wish. Even with his bittersweet story, he’s a nice change from the customers this shop usually gets – cosplayers, Ren Faire folk, and, during Halloween, teenagers looking for whatever sexy comic book character they can get their hands on. In the close to four years since Kurt’s been part-timing here, it’s been a while since he’s had anyone come in asking for a child’s costume. They did outfit the Atlantic Children’s Playhouse performance of Cinderella a year back, but the pumpkin from that performance was six feet tall, and got trampled in the last act.

“I’m sorry,” Kurt says, “but we don’t have any pumpkin costumes here.”

The man stares at him blankly, lips parting an inch as if he’s about to argue, unwilling to accept what Kurt is saying.

“How about a squash?” he asks sadly.

Kurt’s heart breaks a sliver. “We don’t have any fruits or vegetables … or food costumes in general. I’m so sorry.”

The man sighs, looking about a foot shorter when he’s done.

“Well, this was the last store on the list. I can’t believe in all of New York City …” The man taps the counter with his hand, like putting a period at the end of his sentence, stopping himself before he unloads his grief at this situation on Kurt. “Thank you, anyway.” He smiles weakly, then turns to go out the way he barreled in.

Kurt watches him leave and knows he can’t let him. So, maybe the most compassionate (and probably the most handsome) man Kurt’s met in ages is married, but that’s not the issue, dammit! His kid still deserves to be a pumpkin!

“Wait,” Kurt calls out before the man’s hand reaches the door. “You know, I’m majoring in Musical Theater at NYADA …” The man turns back slowly, that hopeful look returning to his face. “I make a lot of my own costumes. Maybe I can help you.”

“Do you … do you really think so?” he asks, walking back to the counter.

“Yes! If I can make a Joan of Arc suit of armor in a day, I’m sure I can whip up a pumpkin. I mean, how difficult can it really be?”

“Oh my God!” The man jumps up and down, doing a tiny dance. “Are you serious?” Kurt nods, chuckling at the man’s ridiculous jig. “You’re a life saver! That would be … that would be incredible!” But then he stops dancing, and his face falls again. “Oh, but I’m afraid I probably can’t pay you what you’re worth.”

Kurt bites his lower lip. What he’s worth. He’s been so jaded by fair-weather friends since he’s moved to New York, he didn’t know there were people out there who worried about things like that anymore.

“Meh,” Kurt says. “I’ll take a ton of pictures and put them in my portfolio for school. Chalk it up as work experience. Just pay for the material, and the labor’s on me.”

“Oh, I couldn’t.” The man shakes his head to decline Kurt’s generosity, but with the widest smile growing on his face. “That’s too much.”

“I insist. I need the extra credit points,” Kurt lies. “You’d be doing me a favor.”

That seems to sit okay with the man because he stops shaking his head.

“Well, can I at least buy you dinner while you’re toiling over construction of this gourd?”

“Absolutely,” Kurt says without thinking. Then his mind skids to a stop. “Uh, will your … wife be joining us?” Oh, please don’t be a cheater, he prays in his head. I’ll lose all faith in humanity if you turn out to be a cheater.

“My … wife?” The man’s brow wrinkles, and he looks as confused as Kurt feels. “Oh no! No no no! Andy’s mom is my sister-in-law, not my wife. Andy is my nephew.”

“Oh!”

“No, no. I’m single.” The man emphasizes the word single. “My boyfriend and I separated over a year ago. I’ve been on my own ever since.”

“Oh. Well, in that case, my name’s Kurt.” He sticks out his hand, and the man takes it.

“Blaine.” He holds Kurt’s hand for a moment after he shakes it, giving it a gentle squeeze that makes Kurt’s toes tingle. “So, can we consider tonight a date then?”

“Absolutely. Meet me here tonight at seven,” Kurt says, “and we’ll turn your nephew into a pumpkin.”

[utgleekshq]

Have you seen Sam Evans on campus? Rumor has it that the twenty-one year old sophomore from Nashville, Tennessee was born on May 4th and is currently studying Undeclared in the College of Liberal Arts. His friends will tell you that he’s LOYAL and HARDWORKING, but they also say he can be STUBBORN and GULLIBLE, so be careful. His endgame is Samchel and fortunately for us, his role is TAKEN and unavailable for auditions.

Sam had an idyllic childhood. Born to architect Dwight Evans and stay-at-home mom Mary Evans, Sam never went a day without feeling loved. His parents always made time for him and encouraged him to pursue his interests. When he was diagnosed with dyslexia at a young age, they hired the best tutor they could afford and helped him minimize the impact of his disability on his studies. At nine, when Sam found out that his mother would be having another child, he’d had boyish concerns about losing some of their love and attention, but his worry was for nothing. When Stevie and, a year later, Stacey were born, Sam’s role in their family simply became more important. He became his parents’ right hand man, ensuring his siblings were cared for and entertained as much as he could at such a young age. It was something Sam took to naturally. He loved spending time with his family and the responsibility placed on his shoulders simply made him stand taller. Although his duties as an obedient son and big brother took up a significant amount of his time, Sam also made time for his own interests, his primary interest being football. Sam started with little league and his talent was evident and noticed from the start. Throughout middle school and high school, football became a constant in Sam’s life.

Joining the Ensworth Tigers and becoming starting quarterback was the biggest accomplishment of Sam’s life. Ensworth was consistently ranked within the top ten in the state and it wasn’t uncommon for college ball scouts to visit the games regularly to pick up new recruits. Along with a possible future in football, being on the team also brought Sam much-desired popularity. Despite some of his more dorky interests like comic books, sci-fi, and celebrity impressions serving as female repellant, Sam still had his pick of women because as far as Nashville was concerned, the holy trinity consisted of rock and roll, church, and football. The local papers covered every game and Sam got used to seeing both his name and photo in black and white print. His family kept him humble though, as did the frequent rejection he received from the women in his life. Sam dated quite a few different girls in high school and always took his relationships very seriously. At one point he even proposed to a girlfriend of six months. Sam openly loved every one of his girlfriends, but unfortunately for him each and every one of his relationships came to an end. Throughout high school, Sam had been dumped five times. Sam wasn’t sure what was wrong with him, what flaw in him drove the girls he loved away. But he didn’t give up on the idea of love. He knew eventually he’d find the right girl for him and to ensure he didn’t let her pass him by, he’d always put everything he had into his relationships just as he would on the football field.

During Sam’s junior year, his home life became a little less than idyllic. His father got laid off from his firm and struggled for months to find new work. Without income coming in, their savings were slowly but surely depleted. The situation became so dire that the summer before his senior year, his family lost their house. They were forced to move into a family motel that was paid for by his and his mother’s new part time jobs. When senior year came around and Sam went to his coach letting him know he didn’t have the money to pay for the equipment and trips and everything else required as part of being on the team, his coach let him know under no circumstances was he going to allow Sam give up football. Now with his family destitute, football was his only chance at making something of his life. That year, Sam pushed himself harder than he ever had during practice and at the games. It was enough to get him noticed by both LSU and the University of Texas. In the end UT offered him a full scholarship that he just really couldn’t pass up. He hated leaving his family, especially since they hadn’t gotten back on their feet yet, but he knew it was the best decision for everyone. Not only would his parents have one less mouth to feed, Sam would still be able to work part time while in school and send them money every pay period. While Sam was excited about football and his future at UT, his primary concern was his family. Over the last couple of years at UT, Sam has continued to focus on school, football, and providing for his family. 

Known as the freshman phenom to all of the Longhorn fans, it was expected that Sam would wind up bringing the team to glory and they were all anxious to see him play - but college was definitely harder than he had anticipated. It wasn’t as though he didn’t expect it to be hard, but the larger class sizes with teachers that weren’t really as hands-on with their students caused Sam to struggle behind. Of course, as one of the prized Longhorn football players, tutors were given to him and he’s managed to keep a relatively average GPA, but Sam worries that maybe he might not be smart enough to be able to provide for his family and make sure that they wouldn’t have to go through their period of destitution ever again. His one solace, he’s found, is his art work - they started off as sketches, something he first started in middle school and again in high school, but eventually they began to bloom into something more and Sam… Well, he wonders if maybe he could become the next Stan Lee.

SECRET 

As time got hard on Sam’s family, he picked up all kinds of jobs to help his parents out and pay for his siblings’ books and clothes and even a few presents whenever there was something to celebrate. When he started college, it became harder for him to work so many hours alongside his school as he needed to put a lot of his spare time into studying and training for the team. A colleague he worked with at the coffee shop he worked at in his first year at UT always seemed to have more money to spend then one would expect from a barista. That colleague told him about how he made extra bucks by shooting private videos for money, videos that had him do requests from men and women. Sam got invited to see how it all worked and when he heard how much money he could make with just one video he took on one request. The relatively short time he spent making just one video and the amount of money he made with it made him take on more requests. And in a short time, he started getting regular customers, who started offering even more money if he would do a live show for them by webcam. He isn’t proud of the way he makes extra money but it pays well and it helps his family so he keeps doing it.

CONNECTIONS:

Blaine Anderson: When it came to getting a roommate, Sam wasn’t sure what he’d expect - after all, he wasn’t a native Texan like so many others, so he had been worried that his roommate would see him as an outsider and, thankfully, it didn’t turn out that way because his roommate happened to be from out-of-state himself. And it didn’t hurt, either, that he was big into comic books - they have heated debates over Captain America and Iron Man - and video games, too, and they fell into an easy friendship. And even if they aren’t roommates anymore, they still set aside time in their busy schedules to spend time with one another - either by going to a comic book store, seeing the latest and greatest Marvel movie, or just chilling in the lounge and playing a co-op PvP together. Out of everyone, Sam can definitively say that Blaine is his closest friend - and he’s not sure where he’d be if he didn’t have someone to geek out with.

Quinn Fabray: Faith had always been an important staple in Sam’s life - faith and family were the two pillars in the Evans’ family - so finding a place to worship when he was in Texas was important to him. After all, he wanted a place to go to when he needed to pray for his team’s safety, or for his family to be well and prosperous, or for him to pass his next exam - and, thankfully, the non-denomination house of worship on campus was perfect. Easily accessible, with plenty of hours to worship, Sam was able to go to church - and it was there he met Quinn. Of course, he had seen her plenty of times before - but considering his rocky relationship with Finn and the fact that he saw Quinn as Finn’s girl, he hadn’t really spoken to her. At least, not until they were at church. Having someone else devout in the school, and even on the road when the Longhorns played away games, was nice for Sam and the two make it a habit to meet up before every service so they can sit down next to one another, and they often get lunch afterwards.

Finn Hudson: Coming into the Longhorns roster, Sam was worried how his presence would be received by the other members of the team - and with good reason. Almost immediately, Sam realized he had made an enemy out of someone without even trying and no amount of goodwill or kind words Sam gave the more senior quarterback, Finn still looked at him like he had pissed in his cleats - and that only got worse when the coach would have Sam put on the practice jersey to get some reps in practice. And for the first season, Sam did what he could to try and show Finn he meant no ill-will… but that was hard, especially when he wound up rushing for the fraternity that Finn was a part of. This year, though? Sam’s tired of it. No longer does he offer Finn smiles, no longer does he try to get out of the guy’s way… No, he’s decided that he’s not even going to try with Finn anymore. Even if the guy was his fraternity’s president, he didn’t have to be nice - he’d be civil, sure, but not nice - and, as he was tired of being nice to a guy that would look at him like a villain no matter what, that was something he was perfectly happy doing.

Mercedes Jones: Much like many of the other members of the football team, Sam realized that he needed a tutor to help him adjust to collegiate schooling. Thankfully, the Longhorn football players had a great relationship with the tutoring center on campus, so it wasn’t long before he wound up getting his first tutor - Mercedes Jones. The first moment he saw her, Sam thought she was gorgeous and it wasn’t long before their tutoring sessions were filled with flirting and before long, they were going on dates with one another. While he had lost his tutor - he got a new one to take her place after they realized there was a conflict of interest - he had gained a girlfriend and for a few months, things were great. Eventually, though, Sam’s busy schedule - juggling both football and a fraternity - caused them to break up. It was amicable, and while Sam does still harbor feelings for her, he’s not sure if there’s a future for them.

Santana Lopez: As a football player, Sam had seen the cheerleaders plenty of times over the course of his summer practices and the regular season - but he knew that Santana? She had to be one of the hottest ones there. Their paths would cross at fraternity parties, something that became more frequent once he rushed and joined the fraternity, and it wasn’t long before they began to flirt. Sure, he knew that she was sleeping with Puck, but from what he knew, Puck was sleeping around too so he was sure that their relationship - whatever it was - wasn’t exclusive. And after getting her to smile after what she called ‘an utterly dumb impression’, Sam makes it habit to try and get her to smile when he’s around her - because he’s found that she has a beautiful smile.

Noah Puckerman: With Finn hating his guts for no reason other than the fact that he plays the same position, Sam had been worried about what sort of relationship he’d have with the rookie runningback - and what seemed to be Finn’s closest friend. Surprisingly, though, it didn’t seem that Puck held a grudge against him and the two were able to bond over football - something that he knew would make it easy when he would get touches during the season - and Puck actually seemed to care a lot about conditioning… and that was something that Sam admired. The two quickly became workout buddies, pushing each other to get better and stronger and faster, and he knows that when they hit the field together and he has to pass or hand the ball to Puck… it’ll make those six points much more likely.

Marley Rose: After the first couple of months living with Blaine, and geeking out with him, Blaine introduced him to a girl he had met at freshman orientation - and in his glee club - that he knew actually liked superheroes, too. And when he met Marley? He was blown away. There was something in the water down here, he thought, because there were so many beautiful girls on campus and a girl that he could geek out with? That was definitely something he enjoyed. The two wound up growing closer over the course of their short time there, bonding over being away from their family and knowing what it was like to wear hand-me-downs and clothes from the thrift shops. And now that Sam’s single, he’s realized that the feelings he has for her are more than platonic… and he’s not quite sure how to go about becoming more than friends with her.

Sebastian Smythe: After such a successful first roommate, Sam had high hopes for his roommate his sophomore year and… well… he wound up getting Sebastian. While Sebastian was definitely no Blaine, and he was definitely a little harder around the edges, Sam knew he definitely could’ve gotten worse. And while he knew he could’ve gone to live in the frat house - something that would cost more money than living in the dorm - he didn’t mind having Sebastian as a roommate. He was clean, he was quiet, and he would get him an in to some of the biggest parties on campus. He just hates returning from a class to find a sock on the door knob - studying in the dorm’s lounge isn’t quite the same as studying in his room - but he figures that would happen with pretty much any roommate he could get.

[bb-loves-boys]

Soon You'll Come Home Chapter 8

Summary: Blaine and Kurt are married with two kids and at the point of their lives they would never imagine having another child. But then Blaine meets a young girl in the most unlikely way and after he learns about the abuse she suffered he can’t help but want to give her the family that loves and care’s for her like she needs.

Warning: mentioned child abuse

FF.NET

AOS3

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 5 (part1, part 2) Chapter 6 Chapter 7 

The next two days things begin to kind of relax, at least as much as they can. They decided to try to introduce her to Santa through movies since trying to explain him with words usually doesn’t come out the way it should, but in end she still isn’t too thrilled with the idea. Blaine hopes Christmas morning she will change her mind when she finds all the presents Santa brought her. Between her never experiencing Christmas and them having a young child to experience Christmas with, again, they both went a little overboard.

Their current plan to try to get her into the holiday spirit is by baking cookies, a holiday activity that even a grown Sophie and teenage Oliver cannot resist participating in. It always of course turns into a musical fest with him and Kurt, but the musicality stops there. After a disaster of both of them being recruited to work on a small elementary school production Sophie refused to partake in anything related to the theater. She took almost every other activity in high school except ones that involved a stage. Oliver, on the other hand, was always too shy to be heard singing. He hasn’t found his spot in school yet, but he does whatever he can to stay away from the spot light. According to him, he likes being invisible.

They’re in the middle of decorating the sugar cookies and shaping the thumb print cookies when there is a distinctive knock at the door. Both Blaine and Kurt’s eyes go comically wide.

“I thought you told him not to come!” Kurt hissed.

“I did tell him, but you know he” Blaine starts before being cut off by Kurt.

“I know, I know. He twists it to make it what he wants.” Kurt complains, and it takes Blaine clearing his throat not to laugh. Cooper lost his appeal to Kurt the first time he stayed with them for a visit. He took the role of guest a little too far when he took all the hot water, Kurt’s breakfast, and left a mess everywhere he had been. He really started to dislike Cooper when he lost Sophie at a museum the weekend he was babysitting her causing them to have to leave an event early to pick her up in a different state.  

“Maybe I can just get him to leave?” Blaine suggests, getting up to answer the door.

“Uncle Cooper isn’t that awful you guys,” Sophie cuts in, trying not to laugh. She was right Cooper wasn’t all bad. He had very good intentions, most of the time.

Blaine answers the door that is now being incessantly knocked on, which makes him wonder how he is the younger sibling. He also doesn’t even get a word out before he is engulfed into a hug.

“Cooper, what are you doing here?” Blaine greeted nervously once he can breathe again.

“I know, I’m a day early but I couldn’t wait to meet my new niece” Cooper enthused, setting his multiple bags upright after throwing them to greet Blaine.

“She’s not- “Blaine started but cleared his thoughts of trying to stay focused. “I thought you agreed that because of the situation we would have an intimate family Christmas.”

“I do,” Cooper started already getting himself comfortable, “that’s why I didn’t bring mom.”

Blaine opened and closed his mouth a few times, not sure where to begin. “Cooper you should know- “

“That with Burt gone and a new kid in the house you need me to step up and play Santa?” Cooper interrupted, whispering this time. “Cause I’m way ahead of you, rented a professional suit and everything.”

“No, Cooper, no Santa!” Blaine tried to explain.

“Kursty! You baking me your mom’s amazing cookies?” Cooper asked loudly over Blaine showing himself into the kitchen.

Entering the kitchen Kurt was already standing in front of the table, blocking the view of Riley with his arms crossed and an icy glare on his face. Blaine almost laughed at Cooper trying to hug him. Sophie and Oliver greeted him with slightly more enthusiasm, but both were still a little timid. Blaine wasn’t sure if that’s because of the current situation or if it was because they did not know Cooper that well, since he was never really around.

Blaine watched as Cooper’s eyes scanned over to Riley, them slightly widening at her and for once Cooper was at a loss of words. Riley certainly didn’t look as awful as the first days of just meeting, but she still had patches of hair missing from the tangled stringy mess on her head; she still had numerous scars, the major ones being the burns on her right hand and right side of her face; and despite the best efforts in eating she was still drastically underweight.

Kurt cleared his throat loudly as Cooper stood frozen.

“Riley, this is my brother Cooper,” Blaine introduced, deciding to take over the situation.

She was obviously uncomfortable with his staring as she began to fidget in her seat, moving to carefully slide under the table and hide herself further behind Kurt’s legs.  

“Cooper, maybe I can help you get to your hotel?” Blaine offered.

“Hotel?” Cooper asked turning his full attention back to Blaine. “Why would I get a hotel when you and Kurt are the perfect hosts, with the best guest suite in the area?”

Just as Blaine was sure Kurt may snap Sophie stepped up defusing the situation.

“I’ll room with Oliver until after Uncle Cooper leaves, Ollie won’t mind.”

“I won’t?” he tried to ask but was elbowed by Sophie.

“Let’s get your stuff,” Oliver huffed, slightly dragging his feet.

“How about instead you two come with me and Cooper to get Hot Chocolate and go ice skating, and Kurt and Riley will stay home to finish baking?” Blaine suggested thinking of the best way to get Cooper out of the house and help Riley cope with all the commotion.

The skating rink is not as secluded or hidden as their other spots to spend as a family, but it holds history for Kurt and Blaine. Plus, it close to a diner that Kurt believes has the best hot chocolate he has ever tasted. The skating is overly crowded due to the holiday season and everyone being off of school; it’s packed with both locals and tourists that being to look and whisper at the sighting of Blaine and Cooper. Before starting a family, Blaine had made a good name for himself in the music industry, with a few appearances in some Broadway musicals. Now he is more known for being married to Kurt, who has been more and more prominent in stage productions, even winning an award for a supporting role a couple years back. There are of course whispers about Cooper too, who has made numerous appearances in popular television shows and been in a few TV movies. Neither Kurt or Blaine consider themselves celebrities, especially it takes people much too long to place where they know their faces from. Blaine instinctively moves Sophie and Oliver on the inside of him and Cooper as some people approach Cooper asking for pictures and autographs. Cooper, of course, stops and happily obliges to their requests, but Blaine keeps moving hoping he will be able stay unrecognized.

He pays for the skates and bracelets and after exchanging their shoes for skates he finds the three of them a nice secluded place to put them on. Cooper catches up quickly with a wide grin. He sits down next to Blaine as Sophie and Oliver head towards the rink.

“I was going to pay, squirt.” Cooper pouts slightly.

Blaine only shrugs and waves him off in response, he doesn’t doubt Cooper would have paid but it also doesn’t matter much to him.

“Before any more fans come up to you I need ask you to keep Riley out of it. We haven’t announced trying to adopt her or fostering her. The only thing they have are untrue rumors of one of us being ill or Kurt filing for divorce.” Blaine firmly instructs, because despite all Coopers good intentions he does have a big mouth.

“yeah, I’ve read them.” Cooper sighs looking down and his expression makes Blaine understand why Cooper needed to visit.

“You were worried,” it’s not a question.

“I knew you weren’t sick, you would have told me or at least mom and …” he trails off for a second scrunching his eyebrows in thought. “Well you and Kurt and both so passionate that sometimes it causes trouble for you two. He’s hurt you before and I didn’t want you to get your heart broken again.”

“Kurt and I are more than fine,” Blaine reassures. “We’ve both made mistakes and learned how to not make them again. I know some of the press paints me to be jealous Kurt is always in the lime light or that Kurt doesn’t care about his family at home from being so busy about his new shows, but none of it is true. I happen to love being known as Kurt’s husband and father to his kids over being known as the one hit wonder musician. I also love being a stay at home dad, just like you love being Mr. Hollywood. I was planning on restarting my career, and putting out a new album with Oliver starting high school and Sophie away at College, but things happened and the plans changed. It’s not even a bad change.”

“That is good to hear, especially since the gift I brought Kurt should is guaranteed to make him love me again,” Cooper announced bumping his shoulders against Blaine’s.

“This isn’t like the year you gave him an autographed calendar with pictures from when you modeled underwear? Because I don’t think Kurt will be able to fake gratitude again.” Blaine askes in amusement.

“Excuse you, that was a fabulous gift and will be worth a lot of money after I pass on devastatingly from the heartbreak of losing you and Kurt in cruise ship accident coincidently similar to the Titanic” Cooper rambles off as he finishes the laces on his skates.

“Kurt and I die before you?” Blaine stutters in horror.

“Don’t worry you nobly save lots of people,” Cooper reassures handing Blaine his phone and posing for him to take a picture.

Blaine sighs, rolling his eyes, but still takes the picture.

They skate until their legs begin to hurt. Blaine jumps off the ice first, going over the diner and getting Hot Chocolate for everyone, Kurt included.  He also gives Kurt a call and asking if he should bring dinner home or if Kurt has something prepared. Unfortunately, Kurt didn’t have time to cook the dinner he planned because he spent all day trying to get Riley to calm down enough to try to eat something. Cooper immediately insists on paying for dinner.

It’s quiet at home. Blaine isn’t sure if it’s a good or a bad sign but chooses to not think negatively. Before Blaine can even make it past the entryway Kurt is there greeting them, giving Blaine an appreciative kiss for his hot chocolate and thanking Cooper for paying for dinner.

“That’s it?” Cooper beings to joke. “Thank you? Blaine brings you cold hot chocolate and gets a kiss, I bring hot dinner and get ‘Thank You’.”

“I’m sorry Cooper, how would you like me to show my appreciation?” Kurt smiles tightly.

“Your mom’s infamous ginger cookies?” Cooper smiles charmingly.

“I have a tin for you to open on Christmas, but they have to last the whole year” Kurt answers.  

“Yeah okay,” Cooper scoffs heading into the dining room to help Sophie and Oliver set the table.

Once they’re alone Kurt gives Blaine another kiss, pulling him close this time.

“Miss me?” Blaine giggles.

“I always miss you when we’re apart,” Kurt gushes.

“Miss me enough to rub out my sore legs and feet tonight?” Blaine pleads slightly. “They feel like jelly.”

“Your brother is here, and the kids are home,” Kurt whispers, laughing lightly.

“The kids are always home,” Blaine pouts. “And I never said it had to lead to anything.”

“We’ve tried not leading to things and that just isn’t possible with us, besides Riley has a fever and we need to keep an eye on her tonight.” Kurt informs.

“Was it high?” Blaine frowns, worried now.

“Not really, but I couldn’t get her to eat anything either. At first I thought it was the stress but then she felt a little warm.” Kurt explained.

“What did the doctor say?” Blaine asked already looking to go check on her.

“That it’s probably nothing serious, just whatever is going around, but to keep an eye on her and contact him immediately if it worsens or if she starts to have trouble breathing.” Kurt answered following Blaine to her room.

As usual her door was open and the bright nightlight was, on as well as the hall light, and the sound machine was playing just loud enough to drown out the outside noise. What was unusual was that Riley was sleeping somewhat soundly in her bed.

Blaine went over to her bedside feeling her forehead lightly, frowning at the warm touch.

“I gave her some children’s aspirin to try to bring it down and then put her to bed. She was asleep before I even got her tucked in,” Kurt says quietly.

“How long as she been asleep?” Blaine asked in a whisper.

“a little over an hour,” Kurt answered after checking the time. “I figured we would let her sleep a little longer before waking her up.”

Blaine nodded in agreement, adjusting the covers and her rabbit before following Kurt out of the room. They joined the dinner table quietly, forcing reassuring smiles on their faces.

“What’s wrong?” Sophie asked instantly, sensing something was off.

“Riley has a slight fever,” Blaine answered honestly knowing there was no sense of trying to hide anything from Sophie. When she was younger she went through a Nancy Drew phase and from then on nothing was a secret in their home.

“When Blainers was sick as a kid we watched classic movies while eating mom’s homemade soup” Cooper said in what he called his narrator voice, trying to lighten the mood.

“We watches 80’s movies and the soup was from a can,” Blaine corrected causing Oliver and Sophie to snicker.

“Again, classic, and mom had to open and heat the soup up,” Cooper answered silently adding the “duhhh” with his facial expression. “Anyway that was at least until he met Kurt, and then the only thing he would eat was Kurt’s magical curing soup.”

“For your information Cooper, my ginger chicken noodle soup has cured everyone at this table, including you” Kurt lectured.

The conversation quickly expanded into tales of when each of them were sick, Kurt quickly supplying the story of the first time Sophie was sick and Blaine panicked taking her to the hospital after leaving Kurt a dramatic voice message only to find out it was a low-grade fever that could be cured at home.

After dinner, they settled in the living room to watch Cooper’s favorite Christmas movies. Blaine quickly excused himself to take the time to check on Riley. He grabbed the thermometer from the bathroom medicine cabinet before making his way to her room. When he entered her room, he found she was in the same spot as last time, except with her feet sticking out from the covers. He carefully sat down next to her, brushing her hair away from her face. He frowned at the way it clung due to her sweat; he could already tell her fever was a lot higher than it had been before.

“Hey, angel, I just need to take you temperature,” he whispered trying to carefully wake her up without fully startling her.

Her eyes barely opened, but she turned and looked at him in acknowledgement.

“You’re probably not going to like this, but I need to put the thermometer in your ear.” Blaine informed. “It won’t hurt, but stay as still as possible so I can get an accurate reading.”

The thermometer beeped, reading 106°F. Blaine put the thermometer aside and rushed doorway calling for Kurt. He went back to her bed side and sat up, cringing a little at how soaked her clothes were. A second later Kurt came rushing in turning on the light.

“Her fever is high, call the doctor and let him know we are on our way,” Blaine commanded.

“Blaine, her lips are blue” Kurt added, his voice wavering a little.

“I’m going to get her in dry clothes. Just call for me,” Blaine instructed again trying to take a hold of the situation.

He pulled out another set of pajamas and quickly started pinching at her current wet clothes. “Riley, I’m going to get you into dry clothes and then we’re going to get you help. Okay?”

He knew she wouldn’t respond and assumed she may not even be aware of what was happening, but he was mostly talking himself through the action anyway.

She let out a weak cough and moaned a little at the movement. Kurt disappeared out of the room during his phone call, returning with a wet wash cloth to pat her down quickly.

“They are going to be ready and waiting for us,” Kurt informed helping Blaine clean her off and get her dressed.

She coughed again this time trying desperately to catch her breath after. Blaine didn’t waste any more time getting changed and scooping her up in his arms, moving as fast as he could without bouncing her around too much.

“Cooper, we’re taking Riley to the hospital stay here and watch the place.” Blaine called out at the same time as Kurt telling Sophie she was in charge and they would explain when they could.

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