#maybe ill make trapeze artists next?? who knows.

[jack-is-a-self-decided-skrunkly]

Another character from the Ringmaster's universe, she's the Contortionist.

[metalotaku-da]

GREATEST SHOWMAN VOLTRON

Keith is from a rich upbringing, his parents lotor and axca are of the upper class during the civil war in nyc.shiro is his childhood friend. Shiro’s father did various labor for keith’s family. After shiro’s father dies, he goes off to join the railroad. He meets up with keith whenever he can. Confessing his love to him in an abandoned house as he spins tales to entertain him like he did in their youth. However, Keith's parents try to forbid him from seeing him. Keith finally decided after a harsh evening of words that he has had enough. And runs away from home to be with shiro. The two move into together in the slums. Where they meet two young orphans shortly after named nadia and silvio. They take them in like their own children. When shiro loses his job and banks everything on an ill gotten loan for hsi oddities museum. Keith and th4 kids throw everything they have into helping him make it a success.

From the idea he got from the kids, shiro went to recruit the local conjoined twins matt and pidge holt. It took a lot of persuasion. Next he meets Allura, an albino freed slave and her friend and former master's daughter, Corana, a bearded and mustache red headed woman at the wash house. Then shiro and keith hold open auditions at the museum. 

One of the first acts they sign are lance also more often known as lucrecia and their sister veronica as trapeze artists. They are escaped former slaves from cuba. Lance/lucrecia and veronica tell their story to shiro and Keith over drinks. The two are twins and they choose to take their chances at escape after their former master sold off their other family members.  Lance disguised themself as a woman in their escape to America, and found that most days they prefered to be seen as a woman and choose the name lucrecia when dressed as a woman. Shiro and Keith respond with kindness and acceptance as do the rest of their troupe. Keith even asks Lance/Lucrecia how they’d like to be addressed. And they responded with a  shrug and a “i guess whatever i am perceived as, but i don’t think i care much really either way. I am used to being called many things, especially when people find out.” and Shiro and Keith respond with the others to do their best respect whatever choice lance makes with his appearance. And in front of the audience they will never be misgendered. 

They are also joined at the auditions by the very large and strongman Hunk. Who is a recently emancipated slave. He and Lance/Lucrecia hit it right off the bat, becoming quick friends. He is the first of the new acts they confide in. 

A troupe of four women also joined them, Zenthrid, a giant strong woman, Ezor the tumblist and fire eater, and Narti a blind fortune teller. 

Along with many others. 

After their first big windfall after the show opens shiro buys his family a huge new house. And enrolls Nadia in ballerina school like she has always wanted. Through the new experience of high society parties, keith introduces him to jame’s family. A rich upper class family who back the north and the abolitionists. James has returned recently with a friend from europe. A famous playwright, whose works are the talk of Europe and america. Many of the guests are shocked when they discover the man they thought to be his servant to be the famous playwright, a black man named Ryan kinkaide. James is drunk and over eager to introduce Ryan to more friendly faces at the party. In a bid to tease keith about his newly reclaimed status by a string or highwire. He drags Ryan over for introduction and eagerly throws him to shiro and keith when neither blanche nor snubs his friend. Speaking to him as equals. Though with a bit more politeness and manners from Keith than the other had been shooting james. Shiro asks the two to meet keith and him at a local bar later.

Once there they discuss the two of them joining their circus. With Ryan helping to right acts and shows. And James helping with behind the scenes things. With the upper class. It takes some haggling and James chooses to enter a business venture as a silent partner. but would like to look around the show before any papers are signed. Who knows he might change his mind after seeing the behind the scenes. 

The act performing when they arrive is the trapeze. And Ryan finds himself captivated by one of the twins in a pink wig he comes face to face with. “Who is that?” Ryan asks, still staring out the balcony he had come face to face with them in. Shiro gives a wicked grin knowing he has Ryan there. Keiht gives him a warning glance before he answers the playwright. “Lucrecia. One of our trapeze twins from the exotic cuban plantations of the southernmost ocean to touch this country.”

“Their act is truly captivating isn’t it?” Keith says with a smile. 

“Yes, she is.” Ryan responds, eyes still glued till the act is complete. James and Ryan sign on, splitting a 10 percent take. Ryan and James quickly work themselves into the group. The two are later on introduced to lance on day during the week. When he joins them at lunch. Learning he is Veronica's brother. “And lucrecia’s? Will she be joining us today too?” Ryan asked hopefully. Keith looked to the other quickly at Ryan's words. Lance responds with a sad smile. “Afraid not. Just me today. She had other things to do. Maybe another time.”

“Yes, maybe another time. It’s a pleasure to meet you lance. I’m sorry we haven't had a chance to be introduced yet. Hopefully we can get to know each more as we work together.”

“Maybe.” lance responds with a slightly more genuine smile. Taking his lunch to sit by veronica and hunk. The holts check James's shoulder as the other squints in judgment of lance as he sits. The two joining the others. 

“Why would you say that?” Keith asked Lance later. The other still dressed as a male. “They are part of the crew now. He’s going to figure it out eventually.”

Lance shrugged headed to his changing area. “Gives me sometime to see if he’s safe. Or if both are. It just gives me some time. When he figures it out it will show how he really feels about lucrecia. Helps to find out if he’s feelings are for me or for the act.”

“You are lucrecia. You are lance. They are the same person because they are you.” Shiro says kindly joining the two. A hand on Keith's shoulder in support. 

“The show is the act. Not you.” Keith says strongly. They give him a thankful smile before going behind the screen to change to more feminine clothing. Once again joining the others as Lucrecia. 

James and Ryan join the others a few days later with news. They got a response to their letter from the queen of England and they had been granted an audience with the queen. Lucrecia asks if it’s for all of them. James gives a nervous smile, but Ryan is quick to state it’s all of them or none. 

When they are leaving via ship Ryan asks where lance is having not seen him board. Lucrecia is quick to tell him not to worry. He is around. It leaves a pleasant smile on her lips as he excuses himself to other tasks. Lance makes a few appearances here or there on the trip. However once again is nowhere to be seen once they reach the shores of england. Which finally starts setting up questions in ryan and james. As they start to notice the two might just be one. 

At court they meet the queen and after a small flub that is quickly saved all goes well for the group. James introduces Shiro and Keith to Adam the swedish nightingale. A singer also there to see the queen who is known throughout europe for his amazing singing voice. Shiro is quick to make an offer for an american tour. Not even lying to Adam's question if he had ever heard him sing. 

Ryan introduces some of his royal court acquaintances to his friends in the circus. Lucrecia and Corana are quick to leave after some comments about their masculine features. That Ryan chooses not to address more than looking away. Veronica and Allura leave shortly after noticing their missing family.

Back in the states, Ryan James and Shiro work hard on the show for adam. 

Adam’s show in new york goes well. However Ryan's still budding feelings for Lucrecia cause a bit of anguish at the show as he chooses to hold Lucrecia's hand during the performance, but drops his hold once he is given a disapproving look from James and his parents from the audience. Who James had told his suspicions on Lance/Lucrecia to. She tries to keep her tears in check for the rest of the evening. Keith’s parents show up to the after party having been to see the show. Lotor and Axca finally meet Nadia and Silvio. Axca seems happy to see them but Lotor and Shiro get into an argument where Lotor before he throws them out. When shiro tries to block them from the after party leaving them in the back once more, sans Ryan, the rest of the group decides they are tired of being treated as background act only to be seen in a tent as an attraction only and not people. Crashing the party despites Shiro's words. After facing the upper class in their own party the group leaves the stares, headed back to the circus. The trip forced them to face an angry mob of protestors on the way. But they perform their evening show without a hitch to a sold out crowd cheering them. Lucrecia uses the opening act to throw shade at ryan. Doing the trapeze number as lance. 

 Shiro is quick to choose to leave with Adam to do more shows around the states. Which is confusing to James and ryan. As he didn’t consult either on the elaborate plan and the payout is poultry if any as it’s a very risky business venture. James even offers to go on tour in his stead Since he is the one without a family to be away from. His parents worry the least about his travel with the war going on. Where Shiro was leaving behind Keith and the kids. Keith was protesting loudly the choice when he was informed only a day before shiro was to leave But shiro was adamant that it needed to be him to go. Getting more into the day to day shows for when shiro left. Nadia and Silvio chase after the carriage carrying him and Adam as they leave.

Just before shiro left he did a favor for ryan leaving two tickets at the theatre for lucrecia and ryan. Telling lance as he got ready for practice he left one under the name lucrecia. Ryan in his excitement tells the others all about it. Which is good since he needed to be reminded as he was almost late to go meet her. 

Lucrecia is confused when the ticket master presents her with two tickets. At first thinking it was a mistake. But is surprised when Ryan shows up. Asking for her to go with him to the play. And he wasn’t sure if she’d have said yes had he asked her directly. Lucrecia is nervous at first, but when Ryan presents his hand, she does take it. He loops her hand in his arm and escorts her up the stairs through the coloreds only entrance. Commenting on always wanting to see the theatre and excitement to do so. As they ascend they run into James and his parents climbing the stairs next to them through the white entrance. Ryan is quick to introduce lucrecia to James's parents. Who snubs her, refusing to address her and ask Ryan if he has any shame. Being seen with something like that. Lucrecia is quick to excuse herself and run off back to the circus. Ryan stays behind to defend lucrecia. Telling James and his family they don’t even know her, before leaving to go after her. James follows grabbing his arm at the bottom of the stairs countering quickly, “do you even know her? Does she even exist? no matter who they are, they have been lying to us. To you this whole time ryan.”

“Lucrecia will tell me when they are ready to tell me.” he states pulling back his own arm. 

“And yet, you only keep your eyes for lucrecia. What will you do when they confirm they have been lying to you? Can you bring yourself to choose both if they are truly one in the same or will you choose to only care for them as lucrecia?” Ryan doesn’t respond but leaves James behind to return to the circus. 

He finds lucrecia there changed from her evening out wear to her practice outfit. Hair lightly pulled back but down. Ryan is quick to apologize, and says they are small minded people. He will drag James in himself to apologize for his rudeness. But she shouldn’t care what they think of her. And asks why she does. They don’t know her. Lucrecia is quick to inform him it’s not just James or his parents. It is from others too. Everyone outside these walls looks at them the same way. 

“They give me dirty looks too. I’ve learned to ignore them.” Ryan states bring himself closer to her.

“We may get the same looks for being of darker complexion ryan, but it’s not the look i’m talking about, and you know it. You're a rich black man from across the ocean who has never been a slave. Before you came here did anyone even look down on you? Treat you as less than an animal? As a freak in need of beating the devil from?” Lucrecia walks away from him to undo the ropes for her practice. “I didn’t think so.”

Ryan chooses to open himself up and lay out his heart. “You know I want you. It’s not a secret I try to hide. I know you want me.” The two go back and forth while lucrecia and him fight over the equipment and she still gets some practice in. Ryan even shows how much attention he has paid to the act, keeping up a little bit with her. 

“It doesn’t matter how we feel Ryan because it can not be. You are in love with an act not with me. I can not give you what you want.” lucrecia says in frustration. 

“How can you say that? While I stand before you telling you how my heart feels for you Lucrecia?” Ryan pleads, holding her close by the arms.

She jerks back away from him. Frustrated tears clinging to her eyes. As she wipes furiously at her face with her arm, and pulls off her wig in a dramatic fling. “Because Lucrecia is an act! And your heart is only for Lucrecia. You barely have words for me as Lance lest it is to ask of Lucrecia. As Lucrecia I can’t give you a family, a future.'' Lance's chest is heaving at his declaration and reveal. Taking in Ryan's shocked face and silence. “I can’t have you as Lance, I will not have you as Lucrecia.” with those parting words lance turned on his heels and left Ryan alone on the stage. 

Keith and the kids try to keep things normal while Shiro is gone. But his absence is noticeable at every recital and around the circus and their large empty house. The rest of the cast members notice and try to step up as much as they can.

On tour with Adam, Shiro is enjoying himself grandly. The same bright smile graces his face at each performance of adams. The two grow close as the tour continues. At around the 30th performance, Shiro gets a little more introspective. Feeling a bit of guilt at the gentle and casual touches between him and adam. Missing Keith and his kids. He tries to set up Adam to continue the tour alone. Bring it up to him in his room. Adam is taken aback and angry. Thinking the feelings he was acting on flirting with Shiro were mutual. Shiro apologizes for the misunderstanding, but shares that he deeply loves keith. Misses him and his kids. But he has everything taken care of for Adam to finish the tour alone without him as a distraction. Adam becomes even more angry at the words. Refusing to continue the tour. Shiro tells him he has ot. To not would ruin him. Adams informs him he ruined himself by playing with others like pawns. He did perform the show that was due to go in mere hours after their argument leaving shiro to think all is well.

Adams' performance is affected greatly by his emotional argument with Shiro prior. But Shiro still takes the stage with him for the final bow. Where Adam sneaks a kiss to his mouth for the camera’s to shiro’s horror. Adam tells him it’s his parting gift before saying goodbye. Leaving shiro to face the fallout alone.

Shiro returns home and  Nadia and Silvio come running down the stairs at the sight of him. Throwing their arms around him and asking why he came back early.  He tells them because he missed them. He asks them to come with him to see how the circus is doing.

The circus is facing a growing number of protestors. A few buy tickets to the show and stay after the closing act to address them. Led by a local man named sendak. The men throw insults and slurs at them demanding they leave town. James and Ryan confront them together and ask them to leave. James asks them to leave nicely one more time. When sendak throws the first punch zenthrid charges, followed by the others in the circus and the rest of sendak's gang. A fire is started by a brawler intentionally knocking over a lamp and smashing into a store of animal feed.

Once he reaches town they learn the circus is on fire. Shiro wastes no time jumping from the carriage to check on his friends. The fire department works as best they can. Ryarn and James are looking over everyone checking in when shiro joins them. And he asks about the animals looking around at the performers. Hunk informs him they let them out. It was all they could do. Ryan’s eyes go wide at the words. “Where’s lance? Where is lucrecia?” hunk looks back at the burning building. They had been the most adamant about getting all the animals. Without an answer Ryan runs back in the building. Veronica tries to follow but hunk and shiro hold her back. Right after Ryan enters the building Lance runs up from the alley beside the building having been chasing the animals away from the fire and trying to get them to circle back around. Just as Keith and kids break into the crowd. He is told Ryan went in after him and James and Veronica grab him next as he screams. Shiro looks at hias family before running off towards the burning building.

The building collapses with shiro and ryan inside. The crowd is in despair thinking they lost just as shiro comes out carrying an unconscious ryan. Ryan is taken by the paramedics to the hospital. Lance and James follow after them to stay by his side for his stay.

Shiro shows up to the burned circus the next day to see if anything could be salvaged. He is met on the steps by his newspaper critic iverson. They have a little chat. He shares first that the thugs who did this were arrested, and Iverson tells him he hopes he rebuilds. Even if he doesn’t personally enjoy it, he knows others do. And during these times where this very nation is fighting and many of their statesman dying trying to define for the future who is and not worthy of being seen as people and equals, that in this moment in history what shiro is doing portraying all of those performers as people and equals is important for the future. He says well at least we can borrow off the profits from Adam's tour. Iverson cringes, you haven’t heard? Heard what? Iverson shows him the day's paper. Front page is a picture of him and Adam kissing. The story is how Adam nor Shiro appeared at any of the other scheduled show stops. Shiro takes off running for home at the sight. Knowing Keith will have seen it.

Shiro runs into the house to see people removing items from the house. And Keith walked out with the kids in tow to a waiting carriage packed with their personal belongings. Shiro tries to stop them. Keith, wiat, please, just wait. Nothing happened. I swear to you. “Nothing happened shiro! We’ve hidden away our true relationship and you are on the cover of the newspaper kissing that man! For the whole world to see!” “ He set me up for that in a jealous rage. Nothing happened. i don’t love him keith! I love you!” “no shiro, you don’t. You only love yourself and your new found fame.” “please just tell me where you are going?” “home shiro. I’m taking the kids and going home.” “this is our home.” That's when Keith informs him he knows about the risky loan and the bank sent eviction papers over already. They already lost the house. And he was done listening to his excuse and lies. He never had to lie to him. Then he leaves Shiro standing on the stoop alone. 

Corana and the holts lead the others to Shiro's favorite bar. Where they find the man drunk and depressed laying half across it. Matt is the first to speak when shiro ignores their entrance. “Should’ve figured we’d find you here feeling sorry for yourself.” Shiro doesn’t even look at them as the others settle around him. Tell them he can’t pay them all the money's gone. They are over. Pidge is next telling him to shut up and taking his drink away. The others take the time to explain what shiro did for them with his show and how much the show means to them. How it didn't feel like work but a family. Family some of them never had the pleasure of having before the circus. He can’t give up because they all want their home back and that includes him and his family too. After a little more pep talk Shiro smiles at them before taking off to Keith's parents house to win the love of his life back.

Shiro is greeted by Lotor at the door, who refuses to give shiro information on his son’s whereabouts. But the kids make it down the stairs and are happy to see him when asked where Keith is. They happily tell him Keith is at the beach. Shiro smiles brightly at his kids, thanking them and takes off towards the beach. Where he apologizes to Keith and fesses up to his mistakes. Telling him he just wanted to do more for them and go bigger and bigger he didn’t mean to let it get to his head or to get so out of control. He loves him, he loves the kids. He loves the family they made with the circus crew. They all miss him  and the kids. Keith tells him he will give him another chance. That he always loved him. He didn’t need all the bells and whistles he just wanted shiro. 

Ryan wakes up to the sight of lance with his head draped across his chest half asleep and James passed out in a chair at the foot of the bed. His groaning wakes the two as rayn brings a hand up to the back of Lance's head. The other throws his arms around Ryan's neck in tears of joy at the sight of seeing him awake. He goes to pull back at the looks the nurses were giving him but is instead pulled forward by Ryan to meet him in a deep kiss. James just laughs and grabs his friend's leg, his own happy tears falling down his cheeks as Lance melts into ryans kiss easily with his own.

They all meet up at the steps of the circus. Shiro informs everyone that the bank wouldn’t give him a new loan. Nor any in the nearby towns. And he probably couldn't swindle any other banks in the world to give him a loan. He is sorry to disappoint everyone. Matt is quick to inform him not to worry. Pidge adds on that he was always a disappointment. Shiros gives a sarcastic thanks for that. Lucrecia, Ryan and James join them after being released from the hospital. The others have worked together to get them some clothes to be able to return to presenting as a woman when they so choose to do so. Having lost their own in the fire. James is quick to inform him he had once had an inheritance and connections that could have helped them but now all he had was his friendship with all of them. Oh and his and Ryan's 10 percent share of the door. Which he was smart enough to collect every week to prevent Shiro from causing a disaster with it and Ryan also stated he had some modest savings from his plays. As they were still doing well in Europe. 

Shiro tried to protest. Saying he couldn’t let them risk all they had left on him. Corana protesting loudly for him to not turn sensible on them now. James counters with asking them all three to be equal partners. With equal say in everything as they move forward. Shiro quickly agrees to their terms. They discuss logistics as even with their bit of funding they can’t afford to repair the building. Instead they get a tent and some cheap land on the outskirts of town by the docks. One big enough for their entire extended family to safely call home. The group salvaged all they could from the rubble together before leaving it behind. The tent gives them more room to bigger and better shows and bring in even more acts. 

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Haven Raised- Chapter 3

On AO3

Summary:  Harry's life is completely changed when his aunt and uncle are forced to take him to a funeral at a relatives. Now being raised by Primrose Evans, her sister Grace and the citizens of Havenfall, his life is going to be a roller coaster.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

September 2012

“Please don’t mess up your clothes!” Prim called out to Harry who was rolling around with Spot. “We’re having family photos today!”

“Sorry, Mama!” Harry said, sitting up and rubbing Spot’s head. Prim shook her head and adjusted her hair as she waited for Grace to finish setting up the camera. She ran back with a grin and sat down next to Prim, Harry running over to jump in their laps.

“Alright- ten- nO! SPOT!” Grace shouted as Spot jumped up onto their laps as the Camera began to flash steadily.

Looking at the photos, Prim had to say it was the best family photo she’d seen.

Spot had jumped on them and knocked Grace over so she laid on the couch, the dog licking her face while Harry laughed in glee and Prim covered her mouth, eyes alight with humor.

It was perfect and one she did not put into the special potion to make it move.

It was perfect as it is.

October 2012

“I wanna dress up for Halloween this year,” Harry said to Prim as she worked on some bank statements from Gringotts. She’d encouraged the goblins to buy shares in the muggle world and it was making good money.

“... You sure kiddo?” Prim asked, pushing her glasses up.

“Yeah. I… is it bad that while I was happy to mourn them last year it’s…” Harry hesitated, trying to find the right word.

“Not as strong of an emotion?” Prim asked. Harry shrugged. “...Harry, you don’t need to mourn your parents as… people…” Prim frowned. That sounded weird. “That sounded strange.”

“A little,” Harry admitted. Prim hummed. “I mean, I liked our memorial last year but I don’t… want to do it this year? I wanna… dress up. Have fun… I miss them but…”

“You miss the idea of parents more than the actual parents,” said Prim. Harry looked surprised at her. “What? In the wise words of JD, I know stuff.”

“Is it wrong?”

“What?! No!” Prim said, shaking her head. “You didn’t know them. Not really anyway. Maybe if you were older I would wonder what sort of parents they were you don’t mourn them but… you don’t need to mourn them more than you have honey. No one gets to tell you when to move on, and no one gets to tell you that you need to keep mourning.”

“...Thanks.” Harry said softly and Prim beckoned him closer to kiss his forehead.

“So what do you want to be for Halloween?”

“I dunno. I want Spot to come with me though.” Prim chuckled and nodded. “Hmm, maybe a ringmaster and Spot can be a wolf?”

“Sure honey, we’ll figure something out.”

-0-

“He’s a strong kid,” Razi said as Prim cleaned the floor. She had no idea how Razi became her go-to for family talk after a year, but she didn’t mind. She liked the man- he was kind and sweet. “So, ringmaster costume?”

“There should be something in Indianapolis or at the very least something I can cobble together at the thrift store.” Prim shrugged.

“Well, this might work out well. I was thinking of creating formal Fridays…”

“Wait, what?” JD said, coming from the stockroom where they totally had not been paying attention.

“Yeah, like everyone dresses up in a nice formal dress.”

“...We work at a bowling alley,” said JD. Prim scrunched her nose.

“I have to agree. Imagine having to handle all of the customers in a dress.” Prim made a face.

“Come on, it’ll be fun!” Razi said grinning. “It’ll be more interesting than just hanging around all day like we all do half the time.” Prim had to wonder how the hell the bowling alley stayed open some days, given it was true that other then the bar there wasn’t much reason to go to the alley.

“Alright, however, I absolutely refuse to wear makeup for work like this,” Prim said. Make-up was really itchy.

“Deal.”

“Ugh, I hate suits.” JD groaned.

“Then wear a dress,” Razi replied. JD blinked.

“Huh, I do look good in them… but they’re always so frilly.”

“Only if they’re dresses like those reenactments or the ones some wear for cosplay or such,” said Prim. JD looked confused.

“Wait, they aren’t like that anymore?”

“Very funny,” Razi said dryly while Prim just stared at the two. What the hell was that about?

-0-

Harry was dressed in his ringmaster outfit with a wolf costume on Spot. Grace was dressed as one of those women who rode the horses and did tricks while Prim had been convinced to dress as a trapeze artist. It was Razi who took the photo for them after the family had stopped at the bowling alley to see Razi and JD. JD was dressed as an angel, prompting laughter from Prim.

“If you ever had a halo it was held up by devil horns,” she teased them. They cocked a grin.

“Why Prim, thank you!”

Razi was just wearing a top hat, prompting booing from Grace.

“You need to dress up Razi!” she said, glaring. Razi just smirked.

“I’m fabulous every day of the year. Adding one thing is a costume.” He winked and Harry went pink and scurried away with Spot. Grace withheld her snickers while Razi blinked and then covered his face. “I did not know that.”

“It’s a little adorable,” Prim said with a grin. JD snickered from beside Razi, a big grin on their face. “Please don’t tease Razi in front of Harry or Harry in front of Razi. He thinks we don’t know.”

“Can I tease him when he’s a teen and has a boyfriend or girlfriend or datefriend or whatever?” JD asked with a grin.

“Yes,” Prim said with a snicker. Razi just sighed.

“Okay, it’s a little funny… and I will happily take the place of being Harry’s first crush because again, I am the more fabulous one.” JD looked heavily offended as Prim and Grace left, Harry already outside the door.

Mackenzie was patrolling the town looking for teenage pranksters and gave them a nod.

“Excellent costumes.”

“Thank you, Sheriff,” Prim said with a grin. The group went door to door, Harry eager to get candy and Grace happy she had an excuse to get candy herself instead of feeling too old.

When they got to the doctor’s door, he winced at seeing Spot, but the dog just wagged his tail, much to his surprise.

“Dogs… usually don’t like me,” he said, petting Spot with a big grin on his face.

“If you want I can bring him around sometime!” Harry offered with a smile and Diego grinned.

“Thank you, Harry, that would be excellent.”

At the end of the night they did go back to let Spot play with Diego for a while, Harry falling asleep in the truck as Grace pigged out on her candy and Prim stole candy from the both.

It was a perfect night.

November 2012

Prim walked in to hear two people speaking Hindi and grinned.

“Hello!” she called out in the same language. She heard two callbacks and walked into the kitchen to see Chetas and Harry at the table, a delicious smell coming from the stove.

“Mama! Chetas is teaching me!” Harry said in English, grinning.

“He is doing well learning,” Chetas said in English as well. “How are your lessons coming?” she asked in Sanskrit.

“As well as they can, given I’m older and have a…” Prim frowned.

“Tougher?” Chetas asked, repeating it in both languages.

“Ah yes, that,” Prim said with a nod. “Tougher time learning.” Chetas waved her hand, assuring her she was doing well.

The little Indian woman often came to town to teach Harry and help Prim cook. Apparently, her grandchildren rarely visited and she got bored easily. Prim was somewhat surprised the little old granny could move so well and could drive to Havenfall as easily as she did.

Prim sat in for the rest of the lesson and learned some new dishes for Harry who adored them all. Grace was working that night and she complained about missing out all the next day.

-0-

“Does Chetas celebrate Christmas?” Harry asked Prim who frowned as she made dough for dumplings.

“You know… I don’t know.” Prim replied to Harry. “Probably not though. Why?”

“Her grandkids don’t visit much she says a lot. I thought ‘bout having her over for Christmas might make her smile?” Harry asked.

“I think that’s a fantastic idea honestly,” Prim said with a grin. “We can ask her next time we see her, yeah?” Harry grinned and nodded as Prim continued the preparations for the evening. If she hadn’t had Harry, she was fairly certain she and Grace would live off of fast food with how often the two were tired after work, but with Harry neither wanted him to become ill or sick because he did not receive the proper nutrition.

The mailbox lit up and Harry went over to pull out a letter from Remus. With the laws back in place, Remus was forced to only send letters to her again, though half the time it was obvious it was supposed to be Harry receiving the letters.

“Me or you kiddo?” Prim asked as Harry opened it.

“Me!” Harry said, grinning at the letter and going off to read it as Prim finished the dough. The doorbell rang then. “Mama?”

“I will be getting that young man!” Prim called out. She never wanted Harry to answer the door- feeling it would be too dangerous.

She washed her hands quickly and then went to the door, opening it to find Grace at the door, holding a bunch of bags, which was why she rang the doorbell.

“How did you get here from the store?” Prim asked in confusion, grabbing a few bags.

“I saw her trying to fit them onto her bike, so I gave her a ride,” a voice said. Mackenzie Hunt was coming up the steps, having pulled Grace’s bike out of her trunk.

“Thank you, Sheriff,” Prim said, smiling at the taller woman. “Would you like some coffee as a thank you?” Mackenzie shook her head.

“No, it’s fine.” the woman said. “Have a nice afternoon, alright?” She smiled at Prim who smiled right back before she left. Prim closed the door to find Grace grinning behind her.

“...No.”

“I was only going to say that your old crush seems to be back.” Prim rolled her eyes at her little sister’s comment.

“It’s called I have eyes and am super bi, so I can see she’s hot,” Prim replied to Grace. The younger girl pouted.

“You never date,” Grace said. “You’re twenty years old and I know you think people are attractive, why not?”

“Because the dating pool in this town sucks,” Prim said, following her sister to the kitchen where Grace began putting away groceries and Prim began preparing the rest of supper.

“I dunno- I mean you’re close with the town doctor, Razi, JD, and the sheriff. And they’re all hot.” Grace replied. Prim gave her a look. “What?”

“The town doctor who I speak to as a customer, the sheriff who comes in to yell half the time at JD, my boss, and my coworker?”

“Well… they’re hot.” Grace shrugged and Prim sighed as Harry looked up from the letter.

“What are you talking about?” he asked.

“Your crush on Razi,” Grace replied with a grin. Harry went brick red.

“It’s not a crush!” he cried out. “Razi is just super cool okay!?”

“Mhmm,” Grace said with a bigger grin. “So that’s why you neaten your clothing when you see him and make sure to always bring back your history homework for help?”

“Mama!” Harry cried out.

“Stop teasing Harry about his crush Grace.”

“It’s not a crush!!”

December 2012

“Thanks for letting Chetas come to the party, Harry’s excited,” Prim said to Razi. He waved his hand.

“Chetas is more than welcome given she’s helping Harry connect with his heritage.”

“She needs to participate in White Elephant though!” JD said, passing them by. Razi shrugged and Prim chuckled.

“I’ll tell her that. Is Diego coming as well?”

“Yeah, so is the sheriff,” Razi replied.

“What?” Prim asked, tilting her head.

“She works Christmas this year- so I thought I’d invite her to the party for Christmas cheer.” Razi shrugged.

“...did you just use Christmas cheer unironically?” Prim asked as JD raised their eyebrows and stared at Razi.

“Oh shut up the both of you.”

December 20, 2012

The party was rather simple that year, with everyone simply sitting around at the bar and chatting. Prim wore the snowman sweater Grace had bought her, while Grace wore a sweater with a cat wearing a Santa hat on it, while JD pouted about not being able to wear their shirt with a Christmas tree burning on it.

“It’s not really festive,” Prim said.

“Festive?!” JD huffed. “Like the sheriff’s plaid is festive?!”

“It’s red and green,” Mackenzie points out. JD rolled their eyes while Grace snickered. Chetas chuckled from her position on the couch and Prim gave her a confused look. They hadn’t been loud, how could she hear that?

“Mama, can you help me sit on a stool?” Harry asked Prim who agreed and went to help him sit on a stool next to Diego who smiled at them.

“Pleasure to see you too.” Harry pouted at Diego who chuckled. “Not liking I had to give you some shots?”

“No,” Harry crossed his arms and glared at Diego who just laughed. Prim laughed and ruffled his hair as Razi handed Diego a drink.

“Think fast!” Chetas suddenly called out.

 They all turned to see Chetas holding a camera, and she took a photo of them all. Prim laughed as both Diego and Mac protested they hadn’t been ready, while JD just laughed at the whole thing.

“Nice one,” Grace laughed. She took the camera and got Chetas to stand in the photo, taking another photo that was somewhat more refined, with everyone aware of it.

At least until it was developed and you saw JD giving the sheriff bunny ears.

March 2013

“I DON’T WANNA!” Harry shouted at Prim who scowled.

“Well, I don’t care if you want to or not! You have to go to school and apologize to the teacher-” Prim said firmly, hands on her hips when Harry shouted out,

“I HATE YOU!” he stomped off and hid in the bowling alley bathroom, leaving Prim staring after him. She sat on a stool, thankful that no one was in that day.

JD and Razi traded glances, and then JD shook their head and crept off despite the annoyed look Razi was sending them. The man sighed and then filled a glass with water, placing it down beside Prim.

“Here, have a drink.”

“He hates me,” Prim said softly.

“How many times did you say that to your parents?” Razi asked.

“Once and then they died the next day,” Prim replied. Razi did not answer, to busy staring at the back of her head. “...Mostly joking.” Prim said.

“Well, then you know you didn’t mean it, right? I remember saying that to my parents a few times.”

“I’m fairly certain JD means it when they say they hate their dad,” Prim said.

“JD’s case is… special.” Razi replied. “I would not base your relationship with Harry on JD’s with their dad. Do you know why he yelled at his teacher?”

“She dislikes me,” Prim responded. Razi made a face. Sure, some of the hate towards the Evans family was gone from what it once had been, but it was still there. “She doesn’t do anything to Harry but she made a comment about me he overheard and…” Prim shrugged.

“And yet you’re making him apologize?” Razi asked.

“I am angry at what she said, but I also understand that Harry yelling at teachers will accomplish nothing. As well, I wish for him to respect teachers. Yes, she does not like me but she has never let it affect how she treats him. If it did, I would let him scream and yell at her, and report it, but as it isn’t- then he needs to respect her.” Prim said. “She has earned his respect by acting like a teacher.”

“So you’re teaching him respect,” Razi stated.

“As well, I find it funny how most people take my attitude and get confused that I never negatively react to them. It’s hilarious.” Prim admitted, smirking as she turned around to sip her water. Razi snorted at that.

“Trying to teach Harry how to act like you then?”

“More trying to teach him how to mess with people by acting very polite and kind when they are not,” Prim said. “But also trying to teach him that as she has earned this respect, she gets it.”

“Well, I’m sure he’ll understand. Let him cool off a bit and then have another chat.” Razi said. Prim smiled and reached out to pat his arm.

“Thank you, Razi.”

“What I’m here for. Advice and to pay you.”

“You’re good at it.” Prim snickered. Razi rolled his eyes at her and she just laughed.

Luckily, Harry did cool off and they had a long conversation about respect that ended with Harry agreeing to apologize. The teacher was shocked when he did and seemed to treat Prim a little better after that. Prim just smiled when she did. 

It was very satisfying.

June 2013

Prim flipped through the channels on the TV, feeling exhausted. She’d agreed to pull a double shift as there had been four birthday parties booked and Razi needed all hands on deck- especially when it turned out one party had glitter decorations. Prim had tried to wash her hair three times but there was still glitter in her hair.

A documentary about Bigfoot appeared and she grinned, clicking on it. Bad documentaries were her favorite things to watch. As well, it would give her an excuse to avoid sleeping in her room. She still wasn’t used to it.

She was rather absorbed in the documentary when Harry touched her arm.

“Honey?” she asked in surprise. He had red eyes that he rubbed at.

“I had a bad dream,” he said in a soft tone, hanging his head. Prim reached out and pulled him down to sit with her, letting him snuggle into her, holding onto a stuffed stag that Remus had sent him for Christmas.

“Want to watch a terrible documentary?” Prim asked. Harry nodded and the two watched the documentary, giggling at the bad effects until they fell asleep.

Grace took a photo the next morning, one that would join the many on the walls of the two cuddling on the couch.

July 2013

“Happy birthday Harry!” Chetas sang out as she set down a cake that she and Prim had made together. Harry grinned at the group that had shown up. He had a few friends from school, but he typically didn’t hang out with them because he didn’t like how their parents gave Prim weird looks and he hated people being mean to his Mama!

Razi and JD had shown up though, given the amount of time he spent at the bowling alley Harry felt like they were part of his family. Though he did not want to add Razi to the family like that!! It wasn’t a crush!!! It was admiration!

He blew out the candles as everyone cheered around him and his Mama came to kiss his forehead.

He closed his eyes and smiled.

Everything was perfect.

September 2013

“I hate picture day,” Harry grumbled as Prim fixed his hair.

“And I hate that your hair won’t stay flat,” Prim replied.

“It’s the Potter curse Uncle Remus says,” Harry smirked at his mother who just stuck her tongue out at him.

“Maybe growing it out will fix it,” Prim said. Harry immediately perked up.

“Can I put it in a ponytail?” he asked eagerly. Prim chuckled. The crush was still going strong.

“Course you can baby,” Prim said, kissing his forehead. She then sighed. “I give up. Grace! You said you had an idea?”

“Punk rock!” Grace said gleefully as she danced into the bathroom, listening to her iPod through one headphone. She had just bought the new Jonas Quinton album and was thrilled. “Not your style.”

“Okay, one- you dress in pink and blues and soft tones,” Prim said firmly as Grace began styling Harry’s hair in a spiky style. “Second, I do wear jeans and t-shirts!”

“And then you wear things like pleated skirts and blouses or dresses and shawls.” Grace shot back, sticking her tongue out. “I’m more hip than you!”

“I’m 21, you’re 16-”

“Almost 17!”

“Almost 17, that is not much of a difference, thank you.” Prim rolled her eyes at Grace’s face she made as she finished with Harry’s hair and then got him to change his shirt to a black button up instead of the white.

Prim did not mention how much better it looked.

Grace’s smirk made her realize she knew though.

October 2013

“So you hooked up with some guy in Indianapolis and now you’re feeling guilty?” JD asked Prim sighed. “This is weird.”

“It’s not guilt. It’s… being unaware if a… hook up was proper when you have a son.” Prim said. JD rolled their eyes.

“Look, you had fun, right? You enjoyed yourself and Harry was at a sleepover so he was taken care of. Grace is old enough to be by herself- stop feeling guilty!” They threw their hands up in annoyance.

“I can’t just stop JD,” Prim said. “It’s… I don’t know. Should I be looking for someone special? So that I can give Harry another parent?”

“...Prim, you’re 21.” JD said, leaning on the bar counter and giving her a look. “You don’t need to focus on finding the ONE right now or your soulmate or whatever. Yeah, it would be great for Harry to have like a dad or another mom or a… bibi or whatever, but like… real talk? He just needs a stable family and you’re that already. Plus like Razi is his super crush slash uncle which is weird to think about, but yeah. You can focus on having fun and having a few hookups.”

“...His parents did sign him up for some fancy boarding school next year. Maybe I’ll have some more fun then.” Prim chuckled. JD pointed at her.

“See? And really?”

“Harry’s technically a lord though… not really? I believe the title was removed a century ago.” When there was something that had happened with the Black family. Prim honestly had not opened that can of worms after learning some of the more… disturbing situations the Blacks had caused.

“...Bullshit.” JD said. Prim shrugged and they stuck out their tongue, revealing a piercing.

“Didn’t know you had that pierced,” Prim remarked, a little impressed. Other then her ears, she had never wanted any other piercings. Much too painful.

“Oh, yeah. An ex-girlfriend had one and it was wild so I got one.” JD waggled their eyebrows and Prim shook her head.

“...Thanks for the chat,” she said finally. They shrugged.

“Hey, no problem. We’re friends, right?” They winked at her and she grinned.

“I suppose I put up with you enough.” Prim shot back.

“Yay, we’re all a happy family,” Razi said, voice dry as a desert. “Now please get to work.”

“Right away,” both said, sharing grins.

-0-

Prim clutched the phone in her hand as she tried to figure out what to do. Harry was sick, while Grace and she both had work. She couldn’t take Harry into work and she couldn’t miss work either- nor could Grace! She was finally being trained as a waitress. They needed to go to work!

She struggled to think of someone to watch her kid, someone who had the day… off…

She dialed a number and prayed it would be okay.

“Yo, this is JD.”

“JD can I ask you a huge favor?”

After explaining the situation, JD agreed and ended up driving up on their bike.

“You have no idea how much this means to me,” Prim said at the door.

“Eh, not like I had anything else to do.” They said with a shrug. “He’s asleep?”

“Yeah, probably won’t wake up but if he does he’ll just want to sit on the couch and watch some show. He’s really into Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood right now-”

“You let him watch that?” JD asked, somewhat surprised she would let him watch such a bloody show. She didn’t seem the type at all. Prim frowned at them.

“It’s not that bad and I trust his maturity level.” Prim shrugged. “Alright, I have to go- there’s a bunch of food in the fridge. Help yourself!” She waved and left, leaving them behind. JD entered the house and wondered what the hell they’d been thinking, agreeing to babysit. Like, sure, they liked the kid but babysitting? Ugh.

They grabbed some food from the fridge and turned on the TV, noticing someone had been watching some sort of documentary about aliens on CrispyFlix.

“Who watches that?” They wondered out loud. Maybe it was one of the late night needing to sleep binges. They flickered through the shows before landing on an anime their sister had said was good. They had plenty to say about Hikari but she had good taste in anime.

Watching for a little while, they heard someone coming down the stairs. Pausing the show, they saw Harry coming down the stairs carrying his stag plushie.

“Hey kid,” JD said, giving the kid a grin. “You up now?”

“Mmm,” the kid mumbled, coming over to the couch to grab a blanket and wrapping himself up in it. JD wordlessly turned the show to the anime he would like. JD had just finished the series themself so it would be interesting to watch it with the kid and see his reactions.

“I like Edward,” Harry said softly halfway through the episode where they meet Greed. “He’s a good big brother.”

“I agree with you there,” JD told the kid. “I do like the Colonel’s alchemy more though.”

“Mmm, I like Mei’s stuff. Super cool throwing knives and directing her power.” Harry said.

“Hey, that’s a good point.”

“And she has a cute panda.”

“Who bites. I like that thing.” JD chuckled. Harry smiled at JD who flashed a grin back. They continued their quiet chatter throughout the episode, Harry gasping in horror at the death of the various chimera in Greed’s base. “Yeah, it gets darker here on out. You sure you wanna watch without your mom?”

“Yeah,” Harry said, sounding a bit nervous but he swallowed. “You’re here, right JD? I trust you.”

“...Trust me with what?” JD asked slowly.

“Being there when it gets dark,” Harry responded. JD stared at the kid, confused and a little touched by the honest words from the boy, though they didn’t say anything. Just swallowed and went back to watching.

JD was unaware of Harry drifting off until soft snores came from the kid after a few more episodes. They paused the TV and hesitated for a second, looking at Harry. The kid was sleeping weird and probably would get a kink in his neck if he stayed there longer. And… the kid was a good kid and sick and…

“This means nothing,” JD muttered as they picked up Harry and carefully carried him upstairs. It took a few minutes to find his room, and they paused to see that Spot was sleeping at the end of the bed. The dog woke up when JD entered to tuck Harry into his bed, raising his head. The dog traded a look with JD before going back to sleep.

“Yeah, you don’t say anything I won’t either,” JD muttered to the dog before they put Harry into his bed. They left after making sure the kid was covered. Wouldn’t want him to get sicker.

Afterward, they went back downstairs to pretend it had never happened at all.

October 31, 2013

“I am Dracula!” Harry said in a loud voice, showing off his costume for the bowling alley. Spot wore a pair of bat wings attached to his back and looked done.

Meanwhile, JD was covering their mouth, looking way too amused while Razi was smiling widely and Diego just stared. JD was dressed up as a ‘slutty witch’ as they called it complete with a very short skirt. Razi was again just wearing a top hat while Diego wore his normal clothing.

“Nice costume,” Razi said as Prim removed her witch hat. She had dressed as the Wicked Witch from the Wizard of OZ and was already regretting the paint.

“He's been obsessing over vampires since Grace found this website of vampire jokes.” JD perked right up as Diego groaned.

“Tell us some!” JD insisted. Harry grinned while Prim grimaced.

“Why did the vampire flunk art?” Harry asked.

“I don't know, why?”

“Because he could only draw blood!” Harry grinned as JD snorted. “How did you know the vampire was sick said the nurse. Well, the doctor said, he wouldn't stop coffin!” JD started laughing as Harry continued to state bad vampire jokes, Razi chortling a few times himself while Diego just looked long-suffering.

Prim managed to remind Harry about trick or treating but JD made the boy promise to give them the website he got the jokes from.

Prim was not looking forward to the next few months of work.

November 2013

“Chetas is kinda like my grandma,” Harry said to Prim as he struggled with his homework at the bar. Prim was cleaning glasses, feeling exhausted. She had been working extra shifts as her truck was having issues and she needed the money.

“...Huh, I suppose she is.” Prim blinked. “...Do you wanna call her that?”

“...Nah. She’s Chetas.” Harry shrugged.

“Yeah, that’s true.”

-0-

 Diego checked Harry’s blood pressure, Prim sitting in the room quietly.

“Well, looks like another clean bill of health… and no shots,” Diego said with a chuckle. Harry grinned as Prim chuckled.

“Thank you, Dr. Diego!” Harry said in a happy tone, smiling up at the doctor who grinned back.

“Thank you for bringing Spot over to play. I miss having a dog.” Diego told tas he packed his bag with the ease of practice. “Have you thought about doing a sport?” He asked Harry who shrugged.

“I’m going to a boarding school my mum and dad signed me up for at birth. Mama says it’s a really good one. They’ll have sports then!” He grinned and with permission ran off. While his mama always made sure to include him in discussions about him, he also got bored easily and trusted her to tell him stuff.

“Is there any reason you brought up sports? He’s a fairly active child with Spot.” Prim asked the doctor who finished packing his stuff.

“...It’s a small town Miss Evans, and I am well aware of the fact Harry does not have…”

“Many friends?” Prim asked. She tilted her head and gave a smirk, raising an eyebrow. “Is Razi gossiping again?”

“Somewhat,” Diego admitted with a chuckle. Prim shook her head, a fond smile on her face as she rolled her eyes.

“That man. The thing is Doctor, is that Harry is going to be going to a school in England. As well, the school only has physical mail sources as they believe that computers are detrimental to the learning process. Harry’s aware of the struggles it would cause to remain friends and wishes to be alone because of this.” Prim shrugged. “As well, he’s not… comfortable with people still. He prefers his dog.”

“So you don’t push because you worry for him?” Diego asked. Prim nodded.

“Quite right. He’s a good kid and… well, I wasn’t that social either as a child though that was more due to bullying and the… dislike of the town. However, I still turned out fairly all right.” She shrugged again. “I will consider sports or something similar for summer programming if his lack of a social life continues while he’s in England.”

“You’re a good mother, I don’t doubt you’ll do the best you can for him,” Diego told her, nodding. “Have a good evening.”

“You as well doctor, and thank you again for your house calls,” Prim said to the man, walking him out.

“Well, not much of a hospital here in town and I don’t enjoy the thought of a bunch of people coming to my house to spread illness where I sleep.” Diego chuckled. He nodded to her and left the house as she waved him off.

Harry was busy roughhousing with Spot in his room when she checked in on him. She watched for a little while, smiling but she left, sighing.

Was she doing the right thing by not forcing her kid out to socialize? She knew that most experts said that at least one productive after school activity would help Harry in the long run- even if it was something like a swim club where it was more individual focused sports- but she had never really bothered because she knew he was going to Hogwarts.

All she could do was hope he could make friends there.

December 2013

“Okay, worst date go!” JD said, pointing at Razi. It was a ‘staff meeting’ night or a night where the three would just sit around and chat. Razi had started it after he’d noticed the tension between JD and Prim but they never stopped doing them after the two became friends.

“Ugh, okay so it was with this guy and he was very… focused on the idea of being a top?” Razi said, making a face.

“Not one of those types.” Prim groaned, covering her face. She’d met a few ladies who were more focused on being as dominant or as submissive as possible. Some weren’t bad, but others…

“I have no problem with either way but this guy was… he was offended at my height and muscle mass!” Razi rolled his eyes. “It ended with me just leaving.”

“Ugh that sucks,” JD said. They then pointed to Prim. “Your turn.”

“It wasn’t a date but it was a… friends with benefits situation.” Prim began. “It was when I was traveling. I met up with a very pretty woman who was traveling as well and I thought; well then, let’s travel together. We started… having fun together about two weeks in. We both found each other attractive and we both agreed that sometimes it was hard to find a partner while traveling so why not.”

“Let me guess,” JD said. “One of you began taking it more seriously?”

“Yes. We both made it clear that were would break it off or talk if one of us developed feelings. Or that we would never assume said feelings would be returned. We both were aware that…” Prim shrugged. “Well, we were aware humans make unhealthy choices sometimes and that we might not talk or break it off so… we promised. However she…” Prim made a motion with her hand, just waving it. “She decided that I had to have feelings for her and when I broke it off to come back here, she was furious that I was not only breaking it off but also that I didn’t return her feelings.”

“I’ve had a situation like that,” JD said, shuddering. “But again, worst date.”

“You just let me tell my story!” Prim said.

“You offered it, I agree though. Worst date!” Razi said with a grin. Prim rolled her eyes but laughed.

“My date tripped into the waiter coming back from the bathroom and the waiter dumped a hot plate of pasta on me while I was wearing a light blue dress,” Prim said. “Ruined the dress, the guy thought it romantic to go ‘Oh baby, wanna go back to my place to change?’” She mocked the man's voice in her most ridiculous tone, causing JD and Razi to burst into laughter. “Only bright side is I got free food out of that.”

“That sucks,” JD said, still laughing. “And my worst dates usually involve misgendering or people being dicks.” They shrugged as Prim and Razi made faces at that. “Razi’s turn to ask a question!”

“Alright… what is… your favorite take-out order?”

“Razi, ask a real one!”

“What? We’re all hungry!” Prim laughed as the two bickered, smiling at her friends. She hadn’t expected to earn such a bond with them when she first started working at the bowling alley but she loved it.

-0-

Chetas sat at the bar, watching as Prim spoke with Harry, the two playing some arcade game while JD and Grace cheered them on.

“She’s a good one.” mused Chetas, accepting the drink Razi handed her. “Haven’t said anything yet?”

“No. We thought it more appropriate to wait.” He replied, leaning on his arms that he folded on the bar. “You tell her?”

“Better to come from close friends than old woman they see once in a while,” Chetas replied. Razi shrugged.

“Well, when the kid goes off, we’re gonna have a chat. Maybe we will, maybe we won’t.” Razi said.

“You mean if the child stays here after the kid leaves. It’s a way to judge isn’t it?” Chetas asked in amusement. Razi shrugged and turned to Diego who had been keeping out of the conversation to give him a drink. He also grabbed the camera to snap a photo of Grace, Prim and Harry laughing as the two stood in front of an arcade machine.

It was a good picture.

January 2014

“I am never going to a New Year's Eve party JD hosts again,” Prim muttered, head between her legs. She was sitting on the couch after falling asleep the night before and had a horrific headache pounding in her ears.

“Hangover from hell, hmmmmmm?” Grace asked in a teasing tone, setting down a glass of water.

“I am never drinking again,” Prim muttered. Harry was being very quiet and she hated it because he had gotten terrified when she came in drunk. He remembered his uncle far too well when he got drunk.

“Or at least not with JD. Razi called and said you matched them shot for shot- and I know they have crazy tolerance.” Grace said.

“Leave me alone,” Prim said. She curled up on the couch and ignored her sister and son as the two giggled at her.

Never again.

March 2014

Harry was sitting in the diner eating a big sundae that his mama had got him for acing his latest science test. Grace was keeping an eye on him with Luce’s permission, the owner still not a fan of the family but she had a soft spot for kids.

The door opened and two men came in, quietly chatting. As it was a seat yourself place, the went and sat down behind Harry.

“Alright, so this place?” one asked.

“Only weird thing is the fog, Dean. That’s the only weird thing.”

“And no big deaths or anything at all?”

“Nope. Just a lot of fog.”

“Alright, do we have a case at all Sammy?”

“A few towns south yeah- missing people.” The door opened then and JD came in.

“Who has the Impala? That’s a thing of beauty!” they called out and the people behind Harry laughed.

“Thanks… uhhh…”

“Name’s JD,” JD laughed. “Nice to meet you.” They came over, stopping to say hi to Harry before they started a conversation with the two behind Harry about cars and bikes. Harry finished his sundae before his mama came into the diner.

“JD, Razi says get back to work before he decides to come after you,” Prim told her coworker who sighed.

“Fine. Have a nice night off Prim. Thanks for the chat, Dean.” JD left with a wave.

“Prim, is it?” asked Dean in a weird voice. Harry turned around to kneel on the seat, looking at Dean.

“Why are you talking like that to my mama?” Prim chuckled and ruffled Harry’s hair.

“He’s being foolish sweetie. And my answer is no.” She told Dean who shrugged. Harry gave her a confused look and she just laughed.

“Yay, my sister gets hit on by a hot guy-” Grace muttered as she walked away.

“She’s underage,” Prim told Dean who raised his hands.

“Whoa, wasn’t going to lady.”

“Just making absolutely sure. Harry, let us depart.” Prim said, ruffling his hair again. The two left, leaving behind the strangers as the mother and son headed to their truck.

July 2014

It was a nice sunny day when the mailbox glowed in the corner of the kitchen. Grace dug through the mail pile that had arrived, grinning when she found one certain letter.

“Mr. Harry Potter, the second biggest room-” she read off the envelope before Harry grabbed it, cheering.

“It’s my Hogwarts letter! I’m going to Hogwarts!!”

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

I lied. The next two years got squashed together because I couldn’t think of any other cute scenes. As well, first-year happens before Season 1 of Havenfall, so we’ll get through this and then the Havenfall fun starts. As well… I originally was completely sure about where the pairing was going but now I’m torn because I thought of like eight REALLY GOOD plot points for another route and now it’s… gar. At least I have year one first before the big decision.

PLOT STUFF I WANNA CHAT ABOUT

-I love the MC original outfit but I also love the idea of Prim wearing these super cute prim and proper outfits like *insert links* so… yeah. She wears a wide variety of clothing. She’s just picky about when she wears them.

-The scene with Harry asking if it’s okay if he stops mourning is something I decided on due to far-reaching plot points. Yes, the previous chapter had him mourning but this is due to the fact it was the first time he knew. It’s not… to me, the idea of Harry always mourning his parents as people just doesn’t make sense. He didn’t know them, and here- not only did he get negative and wrong information from the Dursley family, but Prim doesn’t really know much other then Lily was a nice cousin sort of thing. So he mourns the idea of a loving set of parents, but not his actual parents. Add in that Prim is his mom now, and he more mourns the what if, but he’s a kid and bounces back.

-You know, originally I had this huge plot where JD and Prim fought a fair bit because Prim is very much not like JD, but the more I wrote it the more I went: Damn it, I like their canon interaction in all their routes (friends who mess with each other) too much. So yeah, less bickering than I originally intended.

-I know Razi canonly is a fucking brick wall, but Harry is tiny nine-year-old who has gay baby crush on Razi and is OBVIOUS AS FUCK. Running away red because of a gin? Yeah, obvious. Probably had more stuff happen before this and now it’s hitting him.

-The teacher bit… oh, no I’m not stating how the Snape thing will go down. Not at all.

-Ages ago I wrote a one-shot with JD having a tongue piercing and it literally is my favorite headcanon of them. I got told I was the one to be the originator of this and like: what? But anyway- it’s canon. NO ONE CAN CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.

-Chetas was going to get called grandma but like… I realized while I will be dragging her in and out of the story I kinda like the idea of her being just Chetas? I dunno? She’s Chetas.

-It’s canon that Diego makes house calls and was going to the MC house in his route to give Grace shots for college. As well, it’s mentioned the hospital is a bit away so I assume there’s a small town nearby (but with some distance) with a hospital that most Havenfall folks go to in an emergency, while Diego does act as the general doctor in Havenfall he just makes house calls mostly. (There was a town near mine growing up that did something similar).

[monolid-monologues]

TMI meets TMO. (as in, sharing Too Much Info will Talk Me Out of heartbreak, maybe?)

#6.

And yet another week flies by..with nothing to publish. because i haven’t been writing over the week.

Actually, plenty of writing, but, very personal writing. Where it was not happening: my tinyletter drafts. Where it was: my yellow moleskin journal i lug around everywhere. And THESE DAYS I really mean everywhere every day because…………….. well………………… WELL. WELL, HERE:

Let’s start with some context.

My last Mainstage production at UC Davis before graduating was the great beautiful and miraculous The Bluest Eye. I kid you not, I felt in my BONES how much this production would affect me. I needed to be in it. I had conflicts with another show overlapping rehearsal/show times. I got cast (joy!!!!!), then dropped (NO!!!!!!!). I caused a lot of ruckus and trouble lol. I insisted I NEED TO BE A PART OF THIS. My gut was one thooooooousand percent right. I wish this kind of ensemble experience for every student theatre artist. In this show, I enjoyed the presence of the most colorful mothafking cast i’ve ever seen in a play. We understood the importance of our work and the importance of each other in this work. We threw ourselves into shared purpose. We created and held a treasured space for love and chaos. We brewed so much love it was like a drug in a league of its own; we gave and received so much energy together we were all bonafide high off each other’s presence.

This show was selected to participate in a festival and compete for national awards and recognitions. Like 1 of 30 across the country. Part of me cannot believe a theatre production from UC Davis Major University for the Sciences was invited to this robust/artsy-theatre-program-school-type-shit festival. But also, part of me knows how special what we put on was, is, will be. The life-sized puppets, the ensemble work, the story, the purpose — we shared something rare, relevant and powerful. White Theatre Be Shooketh.

As you can tell, i’m fiercly in love with this production. And the point of this context is that we are now reuniting to put this show back together and take it to Oregon for 1 week this FEBRUARY!

and i’m getting to my point now....

That spring, i told you, i knew being in this show was going to impact me beyond words. But what i could NOT have known. What i never expected. What has been haunting me for months: Falling in love with someone in this show. I couldn’t have known that someone I’d never known before this show was going to shake. me. to. my. core. In meeting this person, knowing this person, falling in love with this person, and letting go of this person, i have undergone and am still getting through a terribly overdue re-awakening of my independence.

It gets really messy okay. For me to go INTO it, i need to go into my my open relationship, my relationship with my then partner of nearing 5 years (who was set to move in with me in the end of spring, closing the gap on our LDR), and my trapezing around town with this person I just met. The short version is this: I was careless, reckless, and naive; ignorant of my partner, ignorant of my needs, and of my own spiritual well-being. At that time, with just that person by my side, i felt fucking invincible. But I was being real clumsy.

Fast forward to the end of that spring — my partner moves back in with me, i tell this person we need to just be friends now, and everything feels wrong. I’m lying in bed with my partner, crying my eyes out because i hate letting go of this person. My partner is finally back home with me and I’m crying my eyes out because the truth was i have never felt for anyone what i felt for this person, and that included my partner. This is, of course, when i realize my partner and i need to break up.

I’m dumb in love with the most awful timing — it is absolutely not the right time for me to “be with someone” — and the most obstinate hubris — “I can handle the drama”. The relationship between me and this person is becoming increasingly tumultuous. I feel distance; I feel coldness; I feel confused. I keep biting my tongue; I keep second-guessing myself; I keep killing my impulse. I keep telling myself this is what I want! I want HIM! But what the fuck do I know about what i need? I haven’t been single in 5 years. I can barely recognize myself. There’s so much self-discovery to do. I had no business trying so hard to be with someone, when i didn’t even give myself the chance to consider what it meant to be alone.

I was absolutely in need of time with myself. Time for myself. time alone. alone. alone. alone. alone.

I understood this when I spent the following summer in Vermont. off grid. in frequent solitude. and the fellowship of a beautiful few.

I nearly forgot it when i came back from Vermont, and started trying to be with That Person. Dare i admit i became desperate? I opened myself wide open to you, in such haste, that I nearly hallowed myself of all my hard-earned and beloved sacred energy to make any kind of space i could so that you would fit. so that i could maybe possibly somehow someway make it fit, make it work. Obvious spoiler: it didn’t work.

When i was trying to make it work, i was someone different. My best friend had never seen me in such a state: so in love with someone, and so unable to get a grip on myself. Sitting across from me, or soothing me on the other end of the phone, she is shocked to witness me so paralyzed, so fearful, so insecure. She wants the best for me and i don’t care, i just want him. As I run this back through my memory, I am shocked too. I’m a little embarrassed but mostly deeply empathetic towards myself then: i needed to be alone, but i couldn’t let go. Whatever i was trying to have…Whatever i was holding onto…was suffocating my life. And I insisted on being choked and being fine.

How did this become the cliff notes to my love life? I want to share with you the magnitude of this person’s affect on my heart, so that when i say: I HAVE TO SEE HIM AGAIN FOR THIS FESTIVAL

you understand

the

storm

resurging

in a place i thought was healing.

I was healing. I was letting go molecule by molecule. I was steaming off the memories layer by layer. I was cutting myself off from dangerous dwellings. I was doing my god. damn. best. to thoroughly leave this person in the past where this whole thing belongs.

Yet, The Bluest Eye is reviving for at least one more stretch in February. I’ve just come back from Davis (last night Sunday); we had our first full meeting and puppet rehearsal. This is to say, i saw the guy, in the flesh, and spent the whole week prior bracing myself for it. In the spirit of self-effacing honesty: i nearly didn’t go. But i decided it is a test of strength and it is a test of independence and it is allowing my craziness to overcome my insecurities. I was going to be in a room with this guy for 5 hours and dig my nails into myself, stay loyal to myself, and be Who I am unyieldingly. I felt really good about it when i left. I proved to myself that i could be the open and loving person i am even if the guy wrenching my heart is 5 feet away. 

Being so distracted and confused by the pain and longing that i missed the opportunities to exchange energy with the rest of the room around me would have been my biggest regret. 

As i said, i left feeling quite good, proud, and at peace with my vulnerabilities.

Maybe i’m not 100% recovered, but i’m clearly, very clearly, in the THICK of recoverING, and i am truly growing, and moving forward step by step by step. 

In Davis, my good friend tells me: “if it’s not good for you, it’s not love”. Before I left for Davis, my best friend reminded me: “you’re trying too hard to fill in the blanks.” I’ve learned: “You can’t give what you can’t give.” (More familiar is the saying: you can’t give what you don’t have.)

To be completely honest, this beautiful show getting this beautiful chance at national recognition has ripped open such deep, old, ill-healing wounds in my heart. with a GIANT sigh, i am re-facing re-surfacing emotional ghosts, hurled back into combatting some very volatile mood-swinging emotional crises. In my personal journal this week i worked up a motherfkn STORM. My journal may as well be dripping from all the gel pen.

and meanwhile, my tinyletter’s been blank blank blank blank empty dusty blank………… and somehow, addressing my lack of tinyletter-ing, has revealed a very private part of my life. it is true: i was very busy private journaling, i didn’t have steam to write for the blog.

now i feel kind of sick this is the story for this week, i mean this is what came out, but this is all “VERY PERSONAL TERRITORY KEEP OUT”’. it’s honestly sort of unfortunate that this week’s letter has be to about my love life.

well there we go anyway.

Wow, Well, To leave on a more caustic, casual note~

THOUGHTS I KEEP COMING ACROSS AS I USE HINGE............

so many Del Playa/Newport, suit wearing, beer touting, IM ON A BOAT white bro motherfuckers (this is the first demographic i kept seeing on my recommended. happy to say hard passing each and every one of them has changed the algorithm).

why tf is pineapple on pizza such a hot topic lmao

BUT WHAT’S THEIR ENERGYYYYYYYYYY LIKE??????!!!!!!

But how old are these pictures man *scrutinizing any available time stamps*

Oh, :O HE’S………not the cute one in the pic………….

Pictures say 33 but profile age says 23, iooonnooooo sir

weird flex weird flex weird flex

if you think they’re 20 miles away from you, always add 20 more…………..

am i having an averse reaction to your profile because you remind me of someone? ~_~

am i really attracted to your profile because you remind me of someone? ~_~

ARE THESE SHENANIGANS THE BEST USE OF MY TIME???????????

It seems this is what comes out of me when I have nothing prepared to write about...

Nothing like rashly revealing too much info to motivate a better, more though-out next week. LOL. 

wish me luck, and see you then.

* * *

i’ve committed to being vulnerable in writing every week. if u want it straight shot to your inbox: https://tinyletter.com/rose-artrat

previous letter:  #5.) God Bless a Good Mess

for random thoughts, random questions //

http://monolid-monologues.tumblr.com/ask