#maybe ill make this into a fic one day lmaoo

[uwurakax]

ー　死神　♡

halloweenie vibes ig, and im probs not even gonna get one fic out for it ( lmaoo whats new ), so just for spoop, enjoy a smol sakusa drabble, bc i felt like being nice to him :')

(( trigger warning for wanting to unalive, but its not bad, prkmise ))

thinking about grim reaper!sakusa who always watches over you;

you both met centuries ago. where? he can't say. how? he doesn't know. why? he forgot those details long ago. he doesn't even remember his life anymore. what he did, his friends or even his family. but he feels a phantom pain when he thinks about them.. family. he thinks maybe he was close to someone once.. its only natural right? at least before he met you.

he does recall one thing however; you died.

he does relive that, and that pain is real. so vividly he remembers praying, crying out to whatever deity or higher power that may be out there to listen. to not take you away from him. how you never had enough time, and that you were taken too soon.

it was the first time he had cried.

he wouldn't, no, couldn't live without you. the haze and cacophony leading up to his final days as a man, as a human, are not a time sakusa likes to reflect back on. barely existing and the shell of the proud man he once was, he just wanted to be with you.

it was peaceful that day the day he decided to take his own life. it was warm, with the sun shining vibrantly and the gentle breeze to offer a soothing kiss on his skin. it was like you were waiting... happy to be reunited.

he never felt the chill of the ocean below, tripping off of the cliff he was determined to jump from and hitting his head. a show of mercy in the hell he had to endure from being parted from you. painless and quick.

sakusa felt weightless when he awoke. was he still alive?

no, he came to find that he was indeed successful. a voice surrounding him that was everywhere and nowhere at all all but confirmed his passing. it also confirmed it had heard his desperate cries and prayers over you. the voice didn't know why, but it was willing to answer sakusa.

it had the power to bring you back, but it would come at a price.

the higher power would grant you life, but sakusa would be cursed to be undead. a leader of lost souls for the unfortunate.. or perhaps fortunate? to guide them into the afterlife.

it didn't matter what he had to do, as long as you got to live. he all but readily accepted, unknowingly cursing you too.

for life, and existence has a balance. if sakusa was cursed with being eternally dead, then you'd be cursed with eternal life.

but one couldn't live forever of course, humans don't live forever. so the universe found a workaround.

you would live and die, again and again and again. forever reincarnating, just to live and having to die; and all sakusa could do was watch.

as he led more and more souls to find everlasting tranquility, he had to watch yours being forced away from him into a new life that would soon become you.

he was confused the first time it happened, watching your reincarnated first life be born and grow. how you became who you were when you were with him. he was content like this, watching you from beyond. as long as you got to live your life.

you married and had kids in that first life, and he couldn't help but wonder if that could've been you and him. how would life have gone for him if you weren't taken away?

he learned early on what exactly he subjected himself and inadvertently, you to.

no matter how many centuries ago it had been, it still never made it easier, and sakusa had soon come to grow cold and disdainful of the world. of everything, and with noway to undo it, he had to withstand it.

be forced to watch the love of his life live without him, and knowing he was the cause of her never being able to reunite with any of her loved ones.

sometimes you'd die young, too young that sakusa couldn't even beat to glance at your soul. other times you'd live a full and long life. he wished every life you had would be like that, and if he had to pull strings to speed up someones passing for hurting you? he was more than happy to oblige. scum didn't need to live, and he was more than happy to send them to the realm now coined as hell.

he didn't know why he kept up with this self torture, tormenting himself to being so close and yet so far from you. at least he never had to forget your face or your voice; the one constant that never changed.

and so he stood, across the road from the coffee shop you liked to frequent, watching as you lived your life; or at least this one. he could practically smell the pumpkin spice. the seasonal drink that became your favourite autumn beverage two lives ago.

you feel someone staring at you as you thank the barista for your drink, the warm takeaway cup heating up your hands. so you look outside the large pane windows, but nothing seems out of the ordinary.

through your entire life you've felt a presence around you, watching you. you couldn't explain it, but it always felt familiar. familiar and safe. like a guardian angel. as ridiculous as it sounded, you always felt like nothing bad could ever happen, but you couldn't help the sad sigh that spilled from your lips. you really wished you could know who was constantly watching over you.

sakusa didn't mean to come as close as he did, at least not while you were awake. he knew his very being emitted a bitter and crisp air. humans could sense death, even if they couldn't see it. a lost soul wandering the busy streets. sakusa lost his empathy long ago, for it died along with you, but he held is tongue and the urge to roll his eyes at the floating mass. it stopped at the corner of the coffee shop, and he made his way over quickly. practically teleporting, going through cars and people, sending shivers through them as he passed. he didn't care. the sooner he could deal and send the soul into the afterlife, the sooner he could be with you.

he hastily guided them, showing them the welcoming light as it faded away. he never saw it, but even he could feel the blinding affable glow when he led them there.

he was ready to go back across until he heard the recognisable sound of tires screeching. please don't let it be you!

a scene he knew all too well was occurring. it didn't matter how many times he saw it, a heartache felt only hundreds of times. it didn't stop him from trying. even if he tried countless times before, knowing the end result would be the same. sakusa would always try, for you, even knowing it was pointless.

so imagine his shock when he can feel you underneath him, a carnage of vehicles behind him and you looking up at him, actually seeing him whispering

"it's you"

[thelov3lybookworm]

Are You Flirting?

modern!au

Summary: Who's the cute guy she was talking about last night?

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 4863

Warnings: flirty lucien, shy reader but shes like 'yknow what fuck shyness lets flirt back' lmaoo

A/n: yall i need you to know. the reader is based on me. shes literally me. i crochet too if yal didnt know hehe. this was so fun to write like it felt like wring my own story except this shit never happened irl lol.

idk ill stop rambling now 😂

ANYWAYS, ENJOYYY 🥹

p.s: id say the credit for this idea goes to my bestie boo @berryzxx because she put me on the song that i used as inspo for tis fic and also bullying me into writing for that song. ily lots pooks 🤭

(based on an indian song 👀)

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

The moment Y/n got the text from her college best friend Feyre, Y/n knew having picked up crocheting as a hobby was the best thing she could ever have done.

Exaggerating aside, she was excited when Feyre asked her if she wanted to reconnect after two years of not talking, and Y/n said yes without hesitation.

They hadn’t talked much, only ever interacting with each other’s instagram posts and stories. Feyre was too busy most of the time painting and opening her own gallery to display her art, taking commissions sometimes and travelling with her fiance.

And even though Y/n had wanted to stay in touch, being an upcoming writer, she did not get too much time to talk as she was busy writing all the time, and when she wasn’t, she was lying in bed wondering why she was in a slump.

Hence, she had picked up crocheting as a new hobby and made some pretty cute tops, imagining herself wearing them to a beach or somewhere pretty. She had been thinking of going somewhere as a vacation to clear her mind.

Which was why when Feyre suggested flying to some beach island her fiance owned for a little getaway with friends, Y/n could not contain her excitement.

Now as she stood in the middle of her bedroom, trying to pick between the two outfits in her hand, wondering which one to wear, she wished she had a boyfriend. Or a husband. Or something. She had always been an indecisive person, and at moments such as this, she wished someone could help her pick her outfits.

Feyre was probably on her way and here Y/n stood, wondering which one to wear and which one to put in her bag to wear the next day.

Ughh fuck me.

Finally, she settled on a pastel pink cardigan and a white halter top with a white bell bottom jeans. She wanted to make a good impression on Feyre’s new friends and decided that the safer option was better. She could wear the other one after she got more comfortable with them.

She had never even met Feyre’s fiance. The two had met and gotten engaged after Y/n and Feyre drifted apart, but Y/n had congratulated her friend on her insta post, so surely that counted as something?

Now that reminder had her reconsidering. Was going vacationing with people she did not know really the best idea?

I mean, what if one of them is a serial killer? What if one of them is suicidal and kills us all-

Maybe she should just cancel.

She was eyeing her phone, genuinely wondering if she should go, when the screen lit up and Feyre’s name flashed across the screen, the soft lilting sound of Y/n’s ringtone filling the air.

So it was decided. Y/n was going.

Y/n answered the call while simultaneously shouldering her bag. "Hello?"

Feyre’s excited voice screeched in her ear from the other end. "Y/n! I’m under your apartment now. Are you ready?"

Instantly, her mood became better and Y/n wondered why she ever considered refusing to go in the first place. Even if she was a stranger to Feyre’s friends, she still had Feyre. She was sure it wouldn’t be as awkward as she was expecting it to be.

Straightening, she glanced around her room for a final time before nodding to herself, confirming that she was not forgetting anything. "Yes, babe. As ready as I’ll ever be. I’m coming down."

Feyre squealed, and Y/n could hear chuckles from the background at her friend’s antics. "I can't wait!"

With that, Y/n ended the call and walked out of her apartment, closing the door behind her, focusing on the jingle of her keychain and not on the nervousness running through her veins.

Soon, as she walked out of the elevator on the ground floor, she spied two dark cars waiting outside. It made her hurry. The moment she exited, she spied her friend leaving the car, grinning.

Feyre ran the short distance to Y/n, throwing all her body weight onto her friend, making Y/n giggle.

"Calm down Fey! I’m not going anywhere."

Feyre pulled away with a wide grin, shaking her head, then grabbed Y/n’s hand and dragged her back to the car she had exited.

"We're a total of ten people, five in that car-" she pointed to the one standing behind the one she had exited- "and five of us in this one." Y/n nodded, trying to calm her nerves.

Feyre then got in, leaving Y/n to get in the back. Feyre’s fiance was sitting in the driver’s seat, black aviation glasses perched on his nose. He offered Y/n a warm smile and a wave before Feyre piped up.

"Y/n, this is my fiance Rhysand. That is Azriel, Rhys’s foster brother and his girlfriend, Gwyneth."

Y/n dipped her head in a polite nod to the couple sharing the back seat with her, but Gwyneth had no qualms about hugging Y/n. Y/n was surprised to say the least by the sudden affectionate action, but she returned it nonetheless with a wide grin.

"Nice to meet you all."

"Everyone, this is my best friend from university, as well as my then roommate, Y/n."

Azriel gave her a tiny smile, his loving gaze returning to his girlfriend not a moment later.

It made Y/n want to go aww, because if that was not pure love right there, then Y/n did not know what was. It made her long to have someone of her own.

Rhys started the car, and the first ten minutes passed in comfortable silence. And then Feyre spoke.

"So, Y/n. Please tell me you’re seeing someone."

Y/n sighed. "You would’ve been the first person to know had I been."

Feyre twisted to glare at Y/n.

"What?"

"Why are you still single?"

"Haven’t found the one yet."

Feyre contemplated for a moment, then grinned. "You know, I’ve got a friend-"

"Not again Feyre!" Y/n turned to Gwyneth. "You know, she would send me on dates with these random dudes every day-"

"Not every day!"

Y/n glared at her friend in jest. "Only because I bullied you to leave me alone."

Feyre sighed dramatically, then plopped back into her seat. "You’re mean."

Gwyn snickered. "Why did you not end up with any of them then?"

Y/n shook her head solemnly. "They were all either too arrogant or ugly."

That made everyone laugh, and finally, Azriel spoke up. "And how did you find so many guys, Feyre?"

Y/n perked up. "I want to know too! I always wondered if she went to asylums to get me a worse specimen than the last."

"Oh my god Y/n, they were just guys from our university and the neighbouring ones."

Y/n smiled. It was fun being around her friend again. It felt like the never stopped talking, picking up from where they left off.

"You know, we’ve got three single people in the other car."

Y/n dropped her head in her palm, and Gwyn cackled.

"Come on Y/n, they’re not that bad. One of them is a guy, but the other two are women. You can experiment if that’s what you want. Maybe that’s the reason you never connected with any guys I set you up with."

Y/n made a crying face and leaned her head against Gwyn, who continued to vibrate with silent laughter. "God help me."

Eventually, Feyre dropped the topic, ending up talking about random nonsense after that. Azriel also chimed in sometimes, but mostly it was either Feyre and Rhysand talking and Gwyn and Y/n laughing and giving unwanted commentary.

They had to take two helicopters to the island, which had Y/n wondering just how big of a jackpot Feyre had gotten engaged to. The ride to the beach home from the helipad after was again two cars.

While boarding the helicopter, Y/n had spied the other friends of Feyre and Rhysand getting out of their car, but she had averted her gaze when the redheaded man had turned to look, hoping she didn’t seem like a creep while she had been trying to take a look at their faces.

The ride to the beach house, as they called it, was silent because Y/n, Gwyn and Feyre dozed off for most of it, already tired after so much travelling. And before they knew it, the midday sun shone through the windows of the car as it finally stopped in the gated compound of a mansion that looked straight out of architectural digest.

Y/n could not stop gaping at it as she got out of the car, then turned to hold the door open for Gwyn.

"It’s so big and beautiful." Gwyn commented, her eyes too fixed on the two story structure. Y/n shot her a knowing look.

"I know right? Only seen stuff like this in the movies."

The two shared a giggle before Azriel joined them on their side and the trio followed Rhysand and Feyre to the main doors.

Rhysand had just climbed the top step when the doors opened, two ladies with long black hair cascading down their backs standing behind them, and Y/n decided that they were twins.

"Nuala, Cerridwen." Rhysand nodded at them with a smile, then turned to the people standing behind him when the twins left.

"I think it’s best if we freshen up and rest for some time before dinner."

The tall guy who had been driving the other car sighed dramatically, burying his head in Nesta’s shoulder. "Thank god, I am tired."

Nesta rolled her eyes, then smiled at Y/n. Being Feyre’s roommate, Y/n had met Nesta on multiple occasions and admired the woman a lot. Nesta, too, had always looked after Y/n like a sister when the three would go out to dinner.

"Y/n. How are you?"

Y/n dipped her head, then stepped forward and pulled Nesta into a hug. "I’m good. Your fiance?"

Nesta nodded, glancing at the hulk of a man. "This is Cassian. Cass, this is-"

"Y/n, heard a lot ‘bout ya." He grinned, extending his hand for a shake.

Y/n smiled at him, then turned back to Nesta and Feyre as the latter began speaking. "Y/n, this is Elain, my other sister. Mor, Rhysand’s cousin, and Lucien, my friend."

After everyone had been introduced, all of them retreated to their rooms. It seemed like they had these outings a lot, because the way everyone was so familiar with the layout of the house would have been uncanny had this been their first time here.

Except for Lucien. He seemed a little hesitant, lingering back with Y/n as everyone else left. But then Feyre directed the two to the upper floor, where two guest rooms were waiting for them.

The rooms were next to each other, so Y/n and Lucien were together till the very last moment. It gave Y/n a lot of time to admire the man’s attractiveness through stolen glances, and she wished it did not for she was not able to control the movement of her jaw that kept unhinging every chance it got at the sheer beauty of him.

Gosh, if he is the guy Feyre wants to set me up with, I am truly going to be blessed.

As the two finally reached the top step, Lucien glanced at Y/n.

"First time here?"

"Yup. In fact, I’m seeing Fey for the first time since we finished uni."

His brows rose. "Damn. How long has it been?"

She shrugged noncommittally. "Around two years. What about you? Your first time too?"

He nodded, then paused at the first door to meet her eyes when he answered. "I’ve recently started getting along with her family." he thought for a moment, then leaned closer, as if letting her in on a secret. "I was actually the friend of her previous boyfriend, but none of them liked him and so they didn’t trust me much either. But now they’re moving on and so am I."

Y/n did not know how to respond to that, trying to wrap her mind around how anyone could be mad at someone who seemed as nice as Lucien. But he spared her the struggle.

"That’s a nice cardigan. Where’d you get it from?" His eyes travelled down her body, his gaze appreciative as it landed on the pastel crocheted garment. "Maybe I could get a similar one. We can match."

Y/n blinked at him, then ducked her head, futilely trying to hide her blush.

"Um, I made it myself."

He remained silent for a moment, prompting her to meet his gaze once again.

"You’re kidding."

She blinked again. "Why would I?"

He huffed out a laugh, leaning back against the doorframe. "So, you’re telling me you’re pretty and talented?"

Y/n could not move if she wanted to. She could not think. She could not do anything but stare at him.

This man, one who looked like he belonged on the cover of vogue, was telling her she was pretty?

God help me.

She looked around, flustered by the tiny smile blooming on his face, cocky but also knowing. He knew the effect he had on her and the damned man was enjoying it too much.

"Well, I will let you rest now. After all, you need to get some energy back for later tonight."

If those words had come from anyone else, Y/n would have wondered if they were saying she looked tired and like shit, but coming from him, the words were nothing but caring, if a touch flirtatious.

Wait, was that an innuendo?

She did not have time to dwell on that part much before he stepped aside, swiping his arm toward the door behind him. "Take a look at both rooms, then pick one you want. I will wait."

Y/n dipped her head, trying not to blush even more when he opened the door for her and leaned back, letting her pass.

She was much too flustered to even look around the room, let alone see if she liked it or wanted the other room, so she just mumbled to him that she will stay in this one, that he could take the other room.

Y/n knew he was about to ask her if she was sure, but whatever he saw in her face had him nodding, stepping back out of the room, tugging the door close with him as he went.

"See you soon, sweetheart." His parting words were heavy with the same knowing lilt he had a few minutes back when he had been flirting with her. It made Y/n’s cheeks heat up, and she turned to the bed, plopping down and burying her face in the plush pillows.

He was flirting with me.

Maybe… Feyre was right about him. Maybe I should give him a chance.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

After a light lunch and a few hours of rest, everyone had simultaneously gathered in the living room as if summoned by a silent command. Y/n had tried to sleep, and had accomplished the feat, but at the cost of tossing and turning every five minutes for an hour, her mind refusing to let her wind down and repeatedly playing the memories of Lucien flirting.

At least, she thought he was flirting. Y/n hoped she was not making a fool of herself for thinking that he was flirting while he simply was being kind.

She had gotten all of two hours of sleep before she shoved the covers off of her and decided to take a shower to freshen up, then she had proceeded to don a flowy sundress and walked downstairs. The hallways were empty, the only sign that she was not alone being the twins in the kitchen. They offered Y/n a smile before introducing themselves, then asked her if she needed anything.

Y/n had thought about it, then shook her head, telling them she just wanted to get some water. They graciously handed her a glass of it, despite her protests, and then they left her to her own devices.

She had just been sipping on it while staring at the sun setting when footsteps behind her let her know she was no longer alone, and she turned to look at Morrigan and Elain, who had walked down together. They offered her a smile, then sat along with her at the counter in swivelling chairs, the quiet comfortable and peaceful.

That was, before Cassian decided to grace them with his presence.

"Are Feyre and Rhys still not here?"

Y/n blinked, tearing her eyes away from the now violet horizon, barely any sliver of light visible, and gave him a smile. "Not yet."

He gagged. "They’re probably doing nasty stuff."

Nesta walked in with Gwyn and Azriel behind her, her eyebrows high.

"Like you don’t fuck."

He glared at Nesta. "Can you be a little more crass? I am trying to make new friends here."

Y/n hid her smile behind her cup, but considering it was a clear glass, she did not think it would work very well.

"So Y/n, what do you do during free time?"

Y/n set her now empty cup aside, turning all her attention to Cassian, who was done bickering with his fiance.

"I do crocheting while listening to podcasts, or I read when I just want to wind down. I also write."

He nodded appreciatively. "So you’re a creative person, huh."

"And she has a very pretty smile too."

Y/n felt her cheeks heating up already when she heard Lucien’s voice, but when she finally comprehended what he had said, she wondered if she’d just melt off.

God. Please, help me.

She tried not to meet his eyes, because even knowing him for barely a few hours, she knew he’d give her a knowing smirk, his eyes bright.

Cassian chuckled, and Y/n could feel everyone’s eyes on her.

Fuck.

Thankfully, Feyre and Rhysand finally arrived and took the attention away from her, and she felt like she could finally breathe again.

The couple asked what everyone wanted for dinner, bickering around for a few moments while Lucien, Elain, Azriel and Y/n watched.

Before long, Mor announced she was craving some barbecue, and when no one argued further, Rhys told everyone to gather on the back porch that faced the beach while he got the things out. When Y/n offered to help along with Feyre and Gwyn, Rhysand just told them to sit back and relax.

And then he dragged the other men with him.

Guess they won’t be getting any relaxing time.

The night passed almost too quickly to be natural, and Y/n already felt like she’d known these people for her whole life. Nesta and Gwyn refused to let anyone else talk to her because they were too busy asking her of all the books she’d read and inquiring whether she was planning on publishing.

Y/n could see Feyre pouting in the corner, but eventually Mor engaged her in a conversation, so Y/n’s guilt at not being able to give her friend enough time subsided.

When Nesta and Gwyn finally got distracted, Y/n leaned back, taking in the cool air when her neck prickled. Looking around, she met the gaze of Lucien from over the glowing barbeque, her cheeks flushing even when he hadn’t said or done anything. But he continued to look at her, the slightest tilt to those inviting lips.

Smug bastard.

When everything was cooked, Rhys called everyone to the outdoor dining table, the wood rich but warm, homey.

Y/n found two seats next to Gwyn, who beckoned her over. She smiled and had just settled down next to her new friend when she realised someone was sitting down next to her on the empty seat.

And it was not Feyre.

Mismatched eyes found her surprised gaze, and Lucien grinned at her.

"Lucien! That was my seat!"

He held eye contact with Y/n for a long moment before turning to a fuming Feyre. "Well, you can sit on my lap, darlin’. But I am already too comfortable in this seat to move."

Feyre huffed, the perfect picture of annoyance. But Y/n could see the glint in her eyes that told her that Feyre was having way too much fun right now watching Y/n blush.

When Feyre turned away to pout at her grinning fiance, Lucien leaned close to Y/n. "Or maybe, you can sit on my lap and I can give this seat to Feyre?"

Y/n turned away, trying to hide the warm flush on her skin at that. "I think Feyre will find herself another seat."

He chuckled quietly but let the topic go after that.

In the end, Feyre sat at the seat on the right of the head seat of the table, next to Lucien. Rhysand sat at the head, opposite Azriel, who occupied the seat on the other side of Gwyn, refusing to leave her side.

Everyone started to serve themselves, but just as Y/n was contemplating what to get, Lucien leaned past her, his scent enveloping her along with his warmth, and grabbed some grilled chicken.

"Try this, it’s good." With that, he put a few pieces on her plate, then continued to serve himself. He seemed so nonchalant, so careless as if he hadn’t just set Y/n’s heart on fire.

Like he wasn’t the reason she could not think straight.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Y/n did not know how the days passed so quickly. Agreed, it was a four day getaway, and yet it felt like barely any time passed and it was already the day they had to return home.

If she had to be honest, she did not want to leave the bed. Her limbs felt like they were tied down, heavy metal placed on top to stop her from moving. She felt so tired, as if her body was trying to stay here just a little longer, and maybe being tired would get her to stay.

Which was the reason why she forced herself to push off the covers and set her legs on the cold, wood floor and traipsed sleepily towards the window to check if she had missed the sunrise again. She had been wanting to watch it since they all arrived, but every day for the past three days, she had slept away without a care.

She’d had to set an additional alarm to wake up earlier.

The sky outside was dark, almost blue. But she knew dawn wasn’t far off.

She hurried to freshen up, then walked down the stairs to get herself a glass of water.

After she had acquired her drink, she stepped out and settled down on the two seater swing on the back porch, under her own room’s balcony. The air was chilly, but not enough to have her want to get up and bring a shawl or something to keep herself warm.

She also felt really lazy as she began sipping on her water slowly.

Gosh, I love water.

She refrained from drinking anything that was not water or milk.

She was also lactose intolerant, but, who really cares about that.

Y/n had just leaned back, wrapping both her hands around her cup when she heard movement behind her. But she let herself relax, knowing it probably was Lucien.

That was one of the many things she’d learned about him in the past days.

He always woke up at dawn. He apparently then did some light gym when he could before breakfast, to keep himself in that drool worthy body.

His words, not mine.

Okay… Maybe mine.

And maybe, just maybe, Y/n had wanted to witness her first ever sunrise, had wanted to wake up earlier even though she disliked being up early just so she could spend some extra time with him.

Maybe.

It didn’t take him long to settle down beside her, his own cup of steaming beverage in hand. It looked like green tea to Y/n, who’d had experience with making it for her father nearly every day.

"Good morning." His voice was rough, the sleep evident in it.

Don’t blush, don't blush. He’s just said good morning.

She blushed. Just a little. "Morning."

"Sleep well?"

Y/n nodded, watching him from her peripherals as the swing dipped slightly with his added weight.

"Still sleepy though. First time I woke up by myself to watch the sunrise." She paused for a moment, glancing at him. His lips were curled to one side as he stared out over the beach, his gaze fixated to the horizon. She shrugged. "Usually it’s by my family dragging me and bullying me into waking up early."

He huffed out a chuckle, but after that let silence settle between them.

The air was so peaceful, it brought a sense of calm over Y/n.

Maybe she could get used to this.

The two sat and watched as the sun rose, so slowly but also too fast. Y/n wished to enjoy this time forever, wanted to continue taking in the soft orange and pink hues that painted the sky as the glowing ball of fire rose higher in the sky. Wanted to bask in the presence that nestled into the pillows next to her, wanted to ink the sound of his soft breathing permanently into her existence.

It was over too soon, and even though Y/n savoured every second of it, she could not help but feel a sense of longing the moment Lucien straightened. She did not want to let go of this moment just yet.

He seemed to think so too.

Just when she thought he’d get up and walk back inside, he turned his head to stare at her.

"So, who’s the cute guy you were talking about last night with Fey?"

Y/n’s lips quirked up, a sudden burst of boldness spurring her on. But she paused as she thought back to Feyre’s words the previous night.

"Do you like him?"

"I don’t know what you’re talking about."

"Oh please, I see the way you blush when he’s near. I see the way he follows you around like a lost puppy. I am not naive, sweet pea."

Y/n sighed. "I guess he’s cute."

Feyre squealed. "You need to go on a date with him."

If Y/n gave him the truthful answer, would she be making a fool of herself? Would she be doing herself the biggest favour ever? Did he even like her that way?

Finally, she decided that if she never tried, she might regret it later.

Feeling her gaze on him, she turned, knowing he waited for her answer. He sported a cheeky grin, eyes half lidded, as if he was more relaxed than he’d ever been.

She leaned in conspiratorially.

"You."

His grin faded, and he sat up straighter.

"What?"

"You’re the cute guy we were talking about."

He blinked, and Y/n did her best to hide her smug smile at the way his ears darkened with colour.

"Are you joking or flirting?" he mumbled, brows furrowed.

Oh, so he can flirt, but can’t take the flirting?

She told herself to remember that tidbit for later.

Y/n could not help it then. She let loose the smirk that broke out of her, and leaned closer still, so close that she could feel his breath on her face, so close that she knew that if she were to inhale, his lingering cologne from the previous day would take over every one of her senses.

Maintaining eye contact, she whispered.

"Flirting."

He did not move anything except for his eyes as she stood, his gaze following her like a physical caress. Just before she turned the corner out of his eyesight, she glanced back at him.

And winked.

She watched as a disbelieving grin formed on his lips, and then decided that was enough flirting for a year at least and ascended the stairs back to her room.

Feyre will lose her mind.

As soon as she closed the door behind her, she no longer felt that burst of confidence that came out of nowhere. Suddenly, she was a blushing mess as she shoved her face into the pillows and tried to calm her racing heart.

Her phone pinged then.

Feyre: ‘Lucien just texted me asking for your number. Is it okay if I give it?’

Y/n bit her lip to keep away the flustered smile. Just as she told Feyre to give it to him, she texted back.

Feyre: ‘Is there something I need to know? Why are you up so early anyway?’

Y/n decided that was enough. Feyre could wait.

Who’s the cute guy?

You.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

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[louscartridge]

hii i’m not sure if it ever sent but i was wondering if i could request something cute with soul where you put his hair in pigtails or something. thank u!!!

i do not give permission for my fics to be posted claiming to be yours, translated, or posted on another platform.

soul x gn reader

cw- not rly anything besides that fact that soul was like kinda over working himself with studying and reader calls soul 'babe' once.

a/n- LMFAOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. also the beginning of this was write on a phone so sorry if it looks weird lmaoo.

You've been sitting on souls lap for maybe a good hour by now, his chin resting on your shoulder.

The two of you have been studying almost all day, but you gave up a while ago. Soul, however, was way more keen on continuously studying.

You sat still for the most part, the only time you would move slightly was when soul had to move himself to turn the page in his book or write something down.

Soul removed his hand from the small of your back once again and wrote something down.

“oh my god” he sighed, burying his face into your collarbone.

You lean back, his head falling from you, your lower back, hitting the desk.

“Take a break, yeah?” you whisper, caressing his neck and jaw.

"but i have to get this done." soul whispers back, earning a glare from you. he sighs. "ok fine. but! let me finish the rest of this, and then ill stop. i promise!"

"ok. sure, whatever you say." you reply doubtfully, taking your hands off his neck and put them into his hair.

soul was dedicated to begin with, but with all the added pressure from fnc and himself at that, he felt like he couldnt stop. no matter how stressed it made him, no matter how much you and keeho nagged him to stop for just a second, he insisted he needed to continue if he wanted to communicate with his peers better and all.

news flash! he didnt stop.

"what are you doing?" soul asked as he felt you parting his hair with your nail.

"if you are going to be oh so keen on studying, im gonna make it so you cant continue." you reply leaning foward again.

"y/n, i cant see"

"its almost like thats the entire point."

you comb through the left side of his hair with your fingers and twist one of the hair ties you have on your wrist around souls hair, making a little pony tail.

"oh my god are you seriously putting my hair in pigtails right now?"

"yep." you giggle doing the same thing to the left side.

"happy now?" he asks smiling.

"are you done studying for tonight?"

"honestly i dont even remember where i left off so i guess. its just gonna be hard to find-"

you cut him off. "yes or no babe."

'"yes." soul conforms

"then yes, im happy now" you smile shaking his pigtails.

[catscidr]

We need more of natural remedy!! 😭 expect with comfort and the reader starts to get better maybe?💕

im so glad you enjoyed it nonnie ueue i was talking about it to my friend and told him i felt like it was the opposite of my magnum opus bc i disliked how i wrote it so much LMAOO im happy it was an enjoyable read!! ur making me all mushy and uegfnshjns (༎ຶ⌑༎ຶ) ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝ cw: fluff, comfort, established relationship, proofread only a lil includes: gn!reader, childe wc: 1,1k -ˋˏ continuation to this mini fic! (but this can be read without reading part 1 prior)

Waking up is always a gamble when you’ve been sick for a while. Will today finally be the day that you can get out of bed, or will you be forced to rot in bed again, enduring whatever bullshit a higher power decided to throw in your face by making your body fight some miniscule bacteria in your system? Falling ill is something everyone can relate to, and you (unfortunately) weren’t an exception. 

However, when opening your eyes, you find yourself able to think clearly (or as clearly as you can when waking up on a regular day). You rub your eyes clean of the crust, a sign that you’ve slept decently well, and look at your surroundings. Your legs were tangled in your bed sheets, your hair all messy, you even had some dried saliva on the corner of your mouth from when you had switched from breathing through your nose to becoming a mouth-breather during the night... but nothing too out of the ordinary. 

Relieved that today seemed to be starting off relatively well, you untangle yourself from the duvet (you make a mental note to wash them later, they still vaguely smelled of perspiration from when you had sweat through them the day before) and hop out of bed. To excited to finally have working muscles, you get up too fast and feel your knees buckle beneath your weight as you fall against the side of the bed with a quiet oof. 

The noise startled a certain someone awake, quiet groaning making itself heard on the other side of the bed. Still half asleep, you don’t register that the noise wasn’t from your imagination, but was from your lover, Tartaglia. When it finally does click, you tiptoe your way around the bed and lean down to brush ginger locks away from his face and watch how his brows furrow as a result. 

“Nnnh... too bright,” he grumbles quietly, burrowing his face in the blanket covering his body. You chuckle softly, kneeling on the floor and resting your chin on the bed to lessen the strain on your (still tired) legs from crouching. 

“‘M sorry I woke you,” you say quietly, pulling the sheet away from his face, just enough to free his mouth from having his voice get muffled from the fabric. The redhead murmurs a quiet it’s fine and stretches his legs, dubious noise leaving his lips. 

As he sat up straight and rubbed his eyes, Tartaglia sniffled and cracked one eye open to assess your state. Physically you looked fine, maybe a bit disheveled from having woken up barely five minutes ago, but overall, nothing that screamed “Hey I’m sick as balls and I can’t function”. A satisfied hum leaves him as he leans over you to press a gentle kiss on your forehead, your stomach fluttering at the sweet gesture. 

“Nice to see you up and awake,” he says, voice rumbling from his vocal cords not having been used for a couple of hours. You nod in response, standing up from your kneeling position and dust your knees off, stretching your arms over your head. 

“Mhm. I’m glad I finally have the energy to stand, at the very least.” Slipping your feet into your warm house slippers, you wait for him to get up as well, observing the way his shirt rode up to reveal strong, freckled skin beneath it. You felt the urge to pepper him in kisses as thanks for him taking care of you for the past couple of days but push it down as soon as you hear (and feel) your stomach rumbling. A sheepish smile creeps its way onto your face as Tartaglia slowly turns his head to look at you, one brow raised, and both eyes narrowed in your direction. 

“You’re hungry,” he mumbles, almost accusatory. “Told you that you should’ve eaten something yesterday,” he adds in a way that almost makes him sound like he’s... sulking? 

“I know, I’m sorry,” you huff, a bashful flush appearing on your cheeks. “I was just so tired,” you add with your cheeks puffed out, standing your ground. No way was he going to make you feel guilty for wanting to sleep of all things. 

Unable to keep up his irritated façade, Tartaglia smiles at you. He stands up, putting on his slippers as well and ruffles your hair affectionately. A noise of surprise leaves you as you turn to face him, watching his figure retreat out of the bedroom door and into the hallway leading towards the kitchen. 

“Hey, what was that for!” you huff, catching up to him easily, his lazy strides not making it all that hard to stay away from you. Tartaglia simple chuckles, the sound easing your nerves at least slightly. 

“Mm, payback.” He responds with a lazy smile, opening the fridge and taking some fruits out. Some raspberries, blueberries and other various small fruits to snack on until he decides to make a better breakfast. He places them on the table- in which you eagerly sit at, tossing the berries in your mouth with a delighted hum. 

“Thanks for helping me bathe last night,” you say softly, watching the redhead take some ingredients out of the fridge and the pantry, placing them on the counter. He takes a large pout from one of the cupboards before glancing back at you and flashing you a coy smile. 

“Mm, ‘course. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t help my beloved in their time of need?” he says dramatically, turning his attention away from you and back to the pot in his hands. He fills it up with water, the sound echoing in the bowl, effectively muffling the sound of Tartaglia sniffling for a second time this morning. 

You shrug, picking out a few raspberries out from their container and tossing them in your mouth. Silently, you bask in the joy of being able to properly breathe through your nose, lounging in your chair. You did feel better, however you still felt slightly weak from not doing anything for days on end. Just as you were about to speak up and mention how funny it was that Tartaglia hadn’t gotten sick even though he’d been sticking to your side like glue, he sneezes. 

You jump in surprise, caught off guard by the sheer intensity of the sneeze. He wipes his nose, back still facing you- almost hoping you didn’t hear it. But how could you possibly not have heard it when it was loud enough to wake up whatever wildlife was hanging around your humble cabin? 

Shoulders slumping, you heave out an exasperated groan, holding back a laugh from the pure absurdity of your situation. You get up and grab a box of tissues for him, handing it to him as you pat his back reassuringly. Of course he would get sick now of all times. You still can’t help but to tease him, though. 

“...Did you have to sneeze in the pot?”

[solivagantingrebel]

Fanfic writer questions!

How many works do you have on ao3?

8! But if we count my other account that I abandoned, 10.

What's your total ao3 word count?

So far, roughly 142k words.

What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly just COD fandom (exclusively Ghostsoap!)

Top five fics by kudos:

Leaving Your Heart On Fire - omegaverse smut amirite? (first attempt at smut fic too, which is, something!)

carry me in your teeth (with tender jaws of sympathy) - seal!soap x orca!ghost with hurt/comfort, biting and other shenanigans. honestly, i never thought people would like it that much since i hallucinated the plot & the first chapter within a day lmaoo.

Only Yours - another omegaverse smut! second one in the series, but whatever. wall sex galore tho <33

Sweetest Gift - lingerie & shibari & bdsm. need i say more

With The Softness Of Your Breath - what if hallmark movies were good, and ghoap? ALSO childhood friends and retired au + all the christmas goodness. this one is very deserved and i will literally kiss everyone who read this on the mouth for giving it a chance even tho i know first person pov isn't favoured in fandom spaces. i poured my heart into it, ty <3

Do you respond to comments?

I try my best to! Miss some sometimes because i'm too busy giggling and kicking my feet over the sheer amount of elation i feel whenever i get the notification.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Happy ending kind of guy, so none. Unless you count the letter. MCD 😔

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

CHRISTMAS FIC,, but all of them are going to be happy ending so we'll see!! my current longfics will take the rest of the year, or more, to end though, so who knows.

Do you get hate on fics?

No? But I did get a comment about how first person pov was something that a reader hated and they were looking forward to reading the fic with the tags & summary. Oh well, their loss.

Do you write smut?

ABSOLUTELY,,, i adore writing smut. right after fluff and angst, i have to say.

Craziest crossover:

None yet :(

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! I wouldn't mind it though.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but Alex. i am looking at you with the softest, darkest brown eyes ever.

All time favourite ship?

GHOSTSOAP. but also capitaru and cami. if you know you know. i don't mind ghoap x reader too, but i swear they NEED to be fucking each other as well, no ghoap 'thinking' of each other as friends and nothing more. all of us are in love and fucking and that is final, or there is nothing.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Beyond Life and Death,,, im so sorry my first attempt at a longfic but i really overestimated everything before i started writing it. Still hold it in my heart, since it was how I taught myself to write fanfics in general but it's a mess, honestly.

What are your writing strengths?

I. have no idea. I've been told I'm good at setting scene (emotional, erotic, angsty) so maybe that? Words also fly out of my mind at the speed of light whenever I am deeply dissecting a character's inner monologue, feelings and thought process AND ALSO TRAUMA, so that too.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I would say action if it were me from the past,, but I've gotten better at it. So, for now, plot, but I'm working on it!

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

HELL YEAH!!

First fandom you wrote in?

......JJK. You will not find that fic though.

Favourite fic you've written?

All of them are my babies don't make me choose 😭

I have no idea who has done this tag game and who hasn't. it was trending like months ago, so open tag for now! do feel free to yap about your fics and tag me if you, i'd love to know <3 (get some recs meself) ill tag a few but feel free to ignore me if youve already done it lmao @eiraeths @myriadblvck

[sehodreamsthoughts]

yess i kinda like slapping tbh but the slapping in that fic was wild omggg it was hot though it suited them so well<333 im glad u liked them though!!! i need wooyoung really bad 😓

PLSSL I FUCKIN NEEED HEESEUNG SO BAD (i need everybody) like i want him to hunt me for sport pls :( tie me up and torture me plspslsllslss😓😓😓

um i have this rly disgusting idea though too (and im kinda thinking about it with yangyang but also whoever) and its not very well thought out but basically you’re being held against ur will or like kidnapped or smth and u can leave, but only once you’ve been made to cum X amount of times🫢 and it’s like some number that will maybe take a few days, and ur torn between being overstimulated, and begging to be fucked so u can cum, so u can leave :( like trying to squirt for him because u want to be freed (why does that look weird spelt, that is not how u spell that) but u just end up fucked dumb and he ends up even more obsessed with u :( um. not sure if that’s just me but yeah.

ALSO!! i meant to tell u about this a while back but okok so my friend at work lmaoo reads like erotic books sometimes and she was reading one and telling me about it and it was like breeding kink where the man holds the woman’s legs up in the air after he cums inside her to try to baby trap her… um.. and pls i had to be like “wow, that’s fucked up… that’s so nasty…” but i’m blushing and thinking sungchan eunseok kun hendery heeseung sunghoon in my head and like.. it was humiliating. like she was like that’s so wrong i had to stop reading it and im like um… gimme. although ill explain later maybe but the book is not worth reading but i just. loved. that part. omg.

- 🥟 anon

I hate slapping in real life but in fics it's SO HOT, I think it was perfect for him 😭

Omg Heesung hunting! I don't know if you've read a fic of Heesung and Wonbin following a bunny!reader in the forest, it felt exactly like that and it was so fucking good because the word hunting felt perfect in it 😭 my beautiful mutual wrote it and I'VE BEEN OBSESSED WITH IT because she also plans to drop a Shotaro fic with an hybrid!reader THAT I CAN'T WAIT TO READ!

Omg that sounds like a manhwa/manga plot 😭, lately I've seen that there are more yandere/stalker concepts that leave me speechless because they're pretty elaborated haha, and I feel squirts would be perfect for such concept too!!

Omg not the baby trapping in romance books 😭, I haven't touched a romance book in a long time and I don't particularly enjoy those books (it feels like maybe it was part of a dark romance one) but I can totally understand the feeling 😂, sometimes I see or hear things that are fucked up and that I would hate in a physical book BUT IN A FIC, YOU'LL HAVE ME THINKING OF EUNSEOK TRYING TO TRAP READER FOR HOURS LATER.

I've also been thinking of baby trapping but it was a bit reversed haha, and with Eunseok 👹

Not long ago I was watching a movie about cartels/narcos and it made me think of Eunseok working for a dangerous group and visiting reader every now and then to check on her in her little town in which they have a big control. Reader at first doesn't want to be involved with him but after seeing the benefits of being with him she can't just leave him. It's like, you know it is wrong to be with someone like him, but he pampers you so much and is so soft with you when you're alone that you can't do much more than accept him, and the sex is nasty and rough at first but then it becomes so tender 😭🩷 (not me romanticizing any scenario 💀), wtv the point is I imagined reader thinking how to make him quit and getting pregnant on purpose just so he would take her with him and run away 🤧😂 (so yeah, I really think I'm the worst because I have to always put sometimes romantic even in these thoughts 👹)

[bonesandthebees]

HELLOOO i am SO TIRED today was another not great day (emotionally, daddy issues amirite) BUT IT'S OKAY BC THE FAMOUS BONESANDTHEBEES UPDATED GLASS AND IT WAS AMAIZNGGG

It was not what i was expecting at all omg there was so much sandduo... so much i wanted to cry and scream but alas i couldn't so i just aggressively keysmashed at my friend instead

We got a NAME REVEALLL FINALYYDJSSOODJF GOGUOGGUFOGIPSDIDOFODJGKGF EXPLODES SBI MAKE ME SO ILL SO SO ILL OGUGODIFISIEJFJFKSJSKFKD can phil and techno adopt me pls they are sosososofogisjskf<3333 explodes again

That whole scene fucked me up so bad it was so good im shdfkdhsflfkz<33 i love them i love them sooo bad im ejflfjskflfjdj<33

Tbh i am now pre curious about the tntduo scene... mayhaps i Will dm to see it

Ough Tommy's reaction hurt me so bad they are so brothers and they are in it together for better or for worse im gonna cry i am so scared bee ohkvydo

My jaw DROPPED when they revealed the plan i was like "aint no way theyre about to say what i think theyre gonna say" they DID im so scared this is like . Stars level fear i cannot imagine this is going to go well ohkyfuckingofdkajddjffjff

It's so interesting that like the moment Wilbur officially says he doesn't want to be the Pythia anymore, he's gonna have to be thrown back into that position omg it's gonna be so traumatising for him i am so so scared plsss the only thing keeping me sane is that u pre much always write happy endings bc literally . Istg the odds DO NOT look good ohkgudo

Shoutout to rainduo their friendship means so much to me

I gotta bookmark this chapter too to reread it was ssoodosososooo lovely your writing is always sososododoo comforting i love it sm bee youre genuinely sososososo cooll

Sorry this ask wasnt as long (or maybe that's a good thing lmaoo) but i hope ur having a nice day!! I really enjoyed the chapter :D

awww I'm sorry you had a bit of a rough day but I'm glad my update can help cheer you up!!

LOL YEAH when I was writing it i knew you were gonna love the sandduo. it's one of the most important chapters for sandduo in the entire fic

the name reveal was SO stressful to write just bc I wanted to make sure it came across exactly how I wanted it to. but I'm very happy with how it turned out :) it's such a high-strung emotional scene and I had to balance so much with the dialogue but it was worth it in the end

yuppp that's certainly A Plan they're going to do. this can only end well 🙃

yup! as soon as wilbur finally accepts that he doesn't want to be the pythia, he has to get thrown back into it. in a way it's only fitting. he wanted to go back for so long, but he can only go back once he's hit a new kind of self-actualization. now he might be going back into a very bad situation for him, but he's progressed so much he's better equipped to deal with it than he would've been had he gone back earlier. at least that's what you gotta hope.

this means so much to hear I'm very glad my writing is so comforting to you <33

and yes I had a very nice day thank you for asking :)

[hyuckswoman]

hii im just gonna throw my opinion in bcs !! i honestly dont think the way you write it is bad and i like the slowburn and i definitely can see it there. like how theyre getting closer and everything, a lot of things obviously wouldnt happen in the start before they got to know each other and yeah !

so im loving it, its one of my fav works on here as of now and i think youre doing the slowburn just right ! i think the main “problem” here is that the updates ARE a little slow considering most of the fics are one shots you can read in one go so i understand why waiting 2+ days for an update with 8 screenshots might be annoying for some people but i dont really mind ! just maybe could be a little longer so its worth the wait 😅 and its a little annoying sometimes when it FINALLY seems like theyre getting somewhere and then they just act like nothing happened like damn😓 couldve made a move already

ALSO someone mentioned hanbin seeming shady but i think thats because there are a lot of characters and you cant just be so detailed about everyone so it might seemed like it but its not the case. like when he left her at the park (?) i think.

i really hope this doesnt come off as mean, i actually wanted to back YOU up because i think youre doing the slowburn right and i like it like that ! just yeah could be longer updates but its still all good. my roommate knows ab this smau too because i be going around the apartment like “damn i hope theres an update tonight” LMAOO so yeah keep going at your pace, ill eat it up anyway ! :) sorry for rambling too much haha

duuuuuuuuuuuuuude i can't believe some people view down bad so highly?? first of all thank you for taking the time to type such a thorough answer i really really appreciate it and second of all, I swear i'll try to be quicker with the updates but i'll admit it's kinda tough sometimes since exam season is approaching but I'll do my best so you guys can enjoy down bad fully lolllll and i'll also try to make the chapters longer (since i only recently discovered that on pc you can upload more than ten images loll)

I admit at first i was kinda confused on how long this was supposed to take as other smaus on here took like a couple of months to be completed but i ended up taking soooooo much longer and about them not acting on it, don't you worry i kinda rearranged the chapters and we are soon entering their era where they realize they have feelings for one another lolll

about hanbin's character, i basically just needed an excuse to make y/n and jeno have some alone time but i think it's kinda fun how some of you are reading into it and speculating and stuff

also this did not come off as mean AT ALL i literally wanted to sob reading this you're much too nice and i'm glad you enjoy reading down bad and thank you for reading my posts even though they're not story updates lollll

anyway all of that to say thank you soooooo much i really appreciate you and people's feedback like it really doesn't go unnoticed and i really try my best to take everything into consideration!! have a great day/night/morning to you anonnn

[arlecchno]

lmao the blonde parts are supposed to be teal but i havent had a chance to redye them in foreverr … also yes ! my xiao jacket ! its not the only one out there though LOL

the wall youre seeing is actually my best friend roofs long lost sibling , wall /j

BEFORE 6 !? i could never i always go to bed at like 12am …. im so sleep deprived on school days lol

ME AND THAT FRIEND DID SO MANY SILLY THINGS IN OUR MATH/STEM CLASS LMAO we used to play genshin wish sim (im very young T_T) and say weird things to summon characters (i told the computer id help make kaeya dilucs brother again to get diluc , and BOTH OF THEM CAME HOME IN THE SAME PULL) tbh ive always complained ab stairs so ,,, i cant even take the stairs in my building anymore bc i live on the 9th floor itd take way too long 😭

we have a lot of the same top 5s , kaeya , diluc , and scara share #1 because … yes . my favorite gal is fischl i love her sm -

i have 11 5*s (not including aloy) , and im currently pulling for sir acting grand scribe himself ! im at around late 30 pity , if he does / doesnt come home i will make self ship art because i dont think he would like that >:)

GOOD TO KNOW ITS GOING WELL im actually making notes for a fic i wanna write on call w my previously mentioned friend roof LOL ive had the idea ever since the nilotpala cup event , i really wanted to make like an actual fic based off of it bc that girl from the yae publishing house was supposed to or wtv HAHAH but im procrastinating on a title so im just . UGH - yk ?

i did have a good day both the day you replied and today ! i am injured but its not bad (only hurts when i move certain ways) , i went on a field trip for school today and got to go in a ✨stream✨ and pick up a little crawfish >:D i hope youre doing good as well !! its so nice talking to you lmao youre so cool

i might start sending doodles every ask , so heres a sketch of my genshin oc !!

my “question” issss guess what region theyre from ! or who they live with LOL the hint is that there are already playables from their region , and there are technically two regions theyre from ?? you can guess just one though ill give you the answer next ask :P

- jellyfish

i think it's because i'm already used to waking up early... even tho i'm a very sleep deprived student that sleeps at 12-1 and wakes up at 5 😔 i'm fairly a light sleeper so no matter what time i sleep, whenever my alarm goes off i'm always up by the second 🥲

and LMAOO i've played a ton of those wish sims to prevent myself from rolling whenever i'm saving up for a character, it works wonders

i didn't really expect you to like fischl!!! i like using her in events where we have her as a trial character lol using oz in her burst and flying around is so silly but i always have fun with it!

seems like we're both on the run for alhaitham :D currently have 72 pity and he still has yet to arrive... i do not have a guarantee whatsoever so the next time i pull i'm gonna be praying for him to come home 😔 i've already explored most of the new area for him

and that fic idea sounds interesting! i briefly forgot about that event so when you mentioned it i'm suddenly reminded of how fun playing with the fungi was!! hope you'll find many inspiration for your supposed title, and who knows, next thing you know you're hitting the post button for your fic 🤭

hope you're healing well from your injury also!! have lots of rest and don't overexert yourself too much, resting is very important hehe

it's nice to know that you went on a field trip :O i haven't been to one in a while so hearing it from you reminded me how fun it always is to go on one and escape school (tbf i think we can agree at least half of the students that volunteer on field trips only do it to skip classes LMAO #guilty)

i think if i had to guess, it's a mix between mondstadt and sumeru, maybe? i'm either really wrong or really right since my basic skills of knowledge on each regions' outfits are very minimal 😵‍💫

a question for you; how was your week? tell me all about it!! hehe i honestly like hearing people talk about their day and week because it's undeniably so interesting to know what others have been up to and how different some people's lives can be from ours! hope i'm not rambling too much... i just really like listening to people talk and talk about their life

[likesunsetorange]

just finished catching up DOL and i love it!! 😭💗 you're such a talented writer truly. i especially love mikasa and levi's dynamic, i will eat up any fic that has more of them as a duo. also the eruri crumbs made my heart melt, do you think you would ever write an eruri fic some time? i would love to read more of them in your writing style 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

omg this makes me so happy i can’t even explain! thank you so much for reading first of all! i really appreciate it so much truly! and thank you for taking the time to send this as well, messages like these literally make my day, so thank you so so much! hugs to you anon! 🥹🤍

levi and mikasa’s dynamic is actually one of my favorites because it reminds me a lot of mine and my brother’s! though he’s definitely a lot nicer LOL, so their relationship is really special to me because my brother is my best friend, i love him so much!!! i mentioned it on twitter, but dol is essentially like a love letter to the people in my life! i think my writing style has changed a lot while i’ve written it, so i def do wanna go back and fix a lot of it, but i think that’s something i love about dol too!! it’s kinda grown with me as a writer and as a person and my little journey in the fandom! it’s really just a testament of my love to a lot of things, even you guys!!! it’s just really a labor of love, and it’s not perfect, and it’s certainly not the best story ever LOL there’s some plot holes and grammar issue (so fucking many 💀) but it was my first time ever writing a fic and i’ve gotten so much better writing since i started so i kind of like frankenstein-ness of it that it is rn!! but i do plan on changing it a bit LOL

ANYWAYS I WAS RAMBLING LMAOO SORRY but one of my favorite scenes i’ve written for dol is a later scene about levi and mikasa and he talks about his relationship with erwin!! which i really fucking love eruri, i don’t talk about them much, but i was talking about it with mar one day, and we were going on about the eruri back story!! i actually have established lore for it so maybe one day ill expand on it? idk if i could do a full on eruri fic but maybe a small excerpt or something? bc the way i imagine their relationship developing is very sweet to me and i really do love them 😭🤍

also sorry for rambling i tell y’all all the time i don’t know how to stfu lol i’m so sorry 😭

[hext00ns]

2 17 57 94 for the writing thing >:)

2) talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, heres what were actually doing”

My GOD this happens to practically every fucking thing i write like bro im not writing this story the characters are i have no fucking control over them or what’s happening fr like twice TWICE i was writing a short ship one shot and they DIDNT actually get together in the end like i wanted them to this happened to both Wrightworth and Shawn/Lassiter and im like guys,,, pls,,,,,,,,

17) what is your favorite like you’ve ever written

Oh god this is so hard well theres this one from an unposted wip i did. I just really like the phrasing a lot

“So where do I come into all of this?” Drake finally asked.

Hooter paused for a moment, clearly taken off of whatever bush he was attempting to pummel into the ground.

Then theres this one from How Sweet That Taste of Certainty that makes me want to explode when i think about it

Shadow looked from the weapon then to Sonic, who had gone to sit where Shadow had just been. Blue legs hanging off the side of the old, wood and metal shingles. The last few lights of day cascaded a halo of color around Sonic’s form. Shadow was never religious, but even he could take note of the feeling churning in the pit of his very being at the sight.

Those two were the first to come to mind lol but im sure i have a favorite like from just about everything gftrdfgrth

57) what is the last thing that made you google for a fic you were reading?

Uuhhhhhhhhh ill be so real i ignore everything i dont understand and keep reading if i dont know a word or thing i either use context clues or just say fuck it lmaoo but ig there was this one time i was reading SUPER old psych fan fics and one was a crossover of a vampire show id never heard of so i googled the show out of curiosity

94) do you prefer dialogue or description?

God i love both like maybe that’s cliche but like both are SO FUN my biggest issue is i get so into writing one for a scene i completely forget to even THINK about the other its prob my biggest writing weakness that i personally see where i need to focus on mixing the two to make a good full scene

SEND ME ASKS PLS

[gourmetrat]

Terminal

** this is a remastered version. read the original here. **

It was near impossible coming up with money for both rent and chemo. Maybe if your boyfriend Sakusa knew about the cancer eating away at your brain things would be easier.

warnings: angst (no comfort), brain cancer, a little arguing, declining health (migraines, trouble walking/moving/speaking), death, grief

word count: 3,295

author’s note: this is my first time rewriting a fic, so i hope you all enjoy!! i think my writing has improved since writing the original?? idk lmaoo. but if you liked this fic rbs and asks are appreciated! i love interacting with you all <3

You would’ve lost track of how long you had been harboring the secret of your illness from Sakusa if it weren’t for the fact that you were once again running into financial troubles.

When you and Sakusa had moved in together, your relationship was still relatively new. He had insisted that he would pay the rent,  and that you could focus on smaller things such as paying for groceries or for decorations for the apartment. However, you had insisted that you would split the rent with him. You didn’t want him to think that you were using him for his money.

But now, you were regretting your insistence on paying half of the rent. 

—

It was around six months ago when you had started to experience piercing headaches. You had chalked it up to just be severe migraines and gritted your teeth through the pain. You thought with time the headaches would go away. You tried to relax more, eat better, and even took over the counter medicine, but none of it helped. 

Sakusa had worried over you so much then. Always sending you a text when he got done with practice asking if you needed him to go buy more medicine from the pharmacy. At home he would always put his earbuds in when using his phone so as to not worsen your headache— he went out of his way to do anything at all possible to not worsen your pain. 

It was when you were at your friend’s house when you found out that you didn’t have chronic, severe migraines. 

You were standing at her kitchen island talking to her. Your headache was especially piercing today. Your vision blurred, and you squinted at your friend as she talked to try and clear your vision.

“Y/N? Are you okay? You don’t look well,” was what you think she had said. Your ears were ringing, was this what it would be like standing next to church bells?

“‘M need to… to sit down,” you slurred. 

Everything that happened after that was a blur to you. You don’t remember missing the chair as you fell to the ground seizing. Your only recollection of that day was waking up in the hospital, hooked up to countless beeping machines, and your doctor telling you that the cause of your seizure was an inoperable, malignant brain tumor.

—

You and Sakusa were cuddled up on the living room couch when you had asked him to cover your portion of the rent, again. You felt guilty, it was the third month in a row you had asked him. 

Your doctor had suggested starting chemotherapy three months after your first seizure when countless oral medications didn’t work. She had explained that while chemotherapy wouldn’t get rid of your tumor, it would slow the spread of it and allow you more time. The treatments were expensive, and it was either the treatments or paying your portion of the rent.

Sakusa sighed, “babe this is the third month in a row. What are you spending your money on?”

He looked down at you awaiting your reply, but you avoided his question. “I know, and I’m sorry. I swear I’ll pay you back and I’ll get it together next month. Just cover for me one last time?” You begged, looking up at him hopefully. 

You had gotten together with a lawyer when you found out your diagnosis to get your will in order. Who knew dying involved so much legal work? You had made your beneficiary Sakusa, making it so that all of your money in your savings and checking account, along with any of your belongings, would go to him. Your will was how you were planning to pay him back.

He huffed, his patience was wearing thin. “Y/N you need to tell me what you’re spending all of your money on. I never see anything new in our apartment,” he shifted you off of him, “are you spending it on someone else I should know about?”

Your heart dropped to your stomach, ”no, no,” you rushed. You never expected for him to interpret the situation this way. “It’s not that at all Omi, I love only you.”

“Then what are you spending your money on?!”

Tears stung your eyes. Sakusa had a helpless, frustrated look on his face— it didn’t suit him at all. You hated how his forehead wrinkled when he brought his brows together. You wanted to reach out to run your fingers along his face to smooth the harsh lines on his face, but you knew that wouldn’t help. The only thing that would help would be the truth.

Your head hung low as you spoke, too ashamed of your secret to look him in the eye, “I have a brain tumor, and I’ve been getting chemotherapy treatments.”

Sakusa was positive that at that moment the world had stopped spinning, and that the repercussions of it stopping hit him when he heard the words leave your mouth. The wind was knocked out of him as his head spun. He wished he could pretend you were making a cruel joke, and that you were just saying that to cover up some embarrassing purchase, but he knew you didn't mess around like that.

His voice cracked when he eventually opened his mouth to speak, “what?”

You couldn’t hold back your sob at how small his voice sounded. You threw yourself at him and hugged him tightly, “I’m so sorry Omi,” you cried into his neck, “I- I’m sorry I’ve been hiding it from you. I didn’t want you to be worried over something that no one has any control over.

“No one has any control over?” He thought as he grabbed your waist, pulling your trembling body closer to his.

“What do you mean?” He asked, his voice betraying him yet again as his voice cracked. “What do you mean that no one has any control?” He urged.

“It’s inoperable. Chemo is only,” you hiccupped, “only supposed to slow the spread.”

He was speechless. He wanted to comfort you, he hated seeing you cry. But how was he supposed to comfort you when the world as he knew it just ended?

“How long have you known?” He managed to choke out.

You let another sob rip from your throat as you answered him.

“Six months,” he thought. You had been suffering with a brain tumor for six months and he was living in complete, ignorant bliss the entire time. 

He was angry that you would keep such a huge thing from him. Did he not make you feel safe, or that you couldn’t confide in him? He wanted to scream at you, scream at you for keeping him in the dark while cancer ate away at your brain. Scream at you for not confiding in him, and for making him live in blissful ignorance.

But he bit his tongue. He knew that that wasn’t what either of you needed right now. 

He didn’t know when he started crying, only becoming aware of it when he opened his mouth to speak and his salty tears slipped into his mouth. “Why didn’t you tell me, Y/N? You know I would’ve been at your beck and call.”

Sakusa could hardly focus on what he was saying, all he could focus on were the sounds of your sobs, but he hoped that his words reached you. “I would’ve paid for your chemo, I would’ve gone with you to every appointment too,” he sniffled, “and- and I would’ve stopped staying late for conditioning at practice.”

He had lost all of his composure at this point, his snot was surely dripping onto the shoulder of his shirt that you were wearing, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. He thinks he’s yelling now, but despite that everything sounded muffled, “did it ever occur to you that I would want to spend every second with you?! That I would want to make your life as comfortable as possible?!”

You were on the verge of hyperventilating at this point. Sakusa was right, he almost always is. You were selfish by keeping your diagnosis to yourself. You had begged your friend the day that you got your diagnosis to keep it from Sakusa and she had reluctantly agreed. 

The two of you stayed there on the couch, clutching onto each other as the both of your sniffles and cries filled the room. 

That night, Sakusa couldn’t sleep when the two of you went to bed. Thoughts of how he was going to make up for lost time plagued him as he watched you sleep, curled up into his side. 

—

Sakusa thinks that the hardest part about your ailment was watching you slowly deteriorate in front of him. 

At first it wasn’t so bad. You would only have your usual migraine and he would get you a hot compress. Here and there you would get dizzy and stumble, but it was never anything more than these two things… at least for a while.

The first time Sakusa felt true fear was when had your second seizure. He was frozen as he watched your body on the kitchen floor. He snapped himself out of his stupor as he scrambled down next to your body, turning you on your side and cushioning your head with his hand. 

He had immediately called for an ambulance once the seizure passed and he was able to get to his phone. That night in the hospital was yet another sleepless night as he watched you, not curled by his side this time but on a cold, unfamiliar bed hooked up to various medical equipment. 

It was after your second seizure when your health began to seriously decline. 

Your body was weak, and it was difficult to balance and walk. You always argued with Sakusa, much to his chagrin, that you could walk by yourself. But he never uttered a single “I told you so,” when you stumbled and had to use him as a crutch. 

He would hold your hair back when your migraines caused you to throw up. He rubbed your back and would coo reassurances to get you through it.

When you had to start staying in bed due to your muscle weakness, Sakusa nearly ruined his volleyball career trying to stay home and take care of you. He remembers the argument the two of you had so clearly.

“Omi you don’t need to stay home and take care of me, I’m not a newborn,” you joked, trying not to make it a huge deal. 

“Well what if you need something and I’m not here? Or if you fall trying to get to the bathroom?” 

You sighed, “then I’ll call you if I really need your help. I’m not completely incapable of doing things myself. Please stop treating me like I’m completely helpless Kiyoomi.”

“I’m not!” He said exasperated, “I’m just trying to be a good boyfriend and take care of you!”

You were irritated, you knew he wanted to help but he was suffocating. Not to mention he was going to get in trouble with MSBY if he kept missing practices and games.

“If you want to be a good boyfriend then stop putting your life on pause for me! I know you love me Omi, and I’m so grateful for that, but I love you too. And I can’t just watch you throw away the future you’ve been working towards for so long! If you keep missing practices they won’t consider you for the Olympic team, and they may even cut you from MSBY altogether!”

You took a deep breath, “I don’t want your life to fall apart just because my brain is.”

He was at a loss for words. It had never even occurred to him that what he was doing was tearing up his life. He was so worried about you that it never crossed his mind that he should also be taking care of himself.

He smiles when he thinks about that memory. You always cared so much about him, always having his best interests in mind. 

—

Sakusa rarely cried. When you had told him about your cancer it was the first time he had cried in a long time. The next time he cried after that was when your speech began suffering.

He had noticed you had been having trouble getting your words out, and it was evident by the frustration on your face as well. He immediately took you to the hospital to find out what was wrong.

The doctor had explained you were suffering from broca’s aphasia, and that speaking for you from now on will take a lot of effort. When the two of you got home from the hospital that day Sakusa excused himself to go take a shower. He had turned the water on to muffle his cries as he collapsed onto the floor. He tucked his head in between his knees as he heaved.

He didn’t shower that day. He sat on the floor crying and cursing the world for doing this to you until the water in the shower ran cold. When he came out of the bathroom, you ignored that he was still in the same clothes he wore when he went in, and that he wasn’t remotely wet. You knew. You beckoned to him as you laid in bed, cradling his head gently against your chest once he got comfortable next to you.

—

It’s been a year since you’ve passed.

Sakusa hates remembering your final weeks. In the twilight of your life, all he could remember were all the nights he spent watching you sleep, your face contorted into a constant state of discomfort. 

He had weeped at your funeral. It was startling for his teammates to see the usual stoic man so distraught. They had all lended a comforting hand on his back as he let sob after sob rip from his body.

It was also a few days after his funeral when your lawyer had asked if he was okay to meet up. He had agreed, and showed up to your lawyer’s office a visible mess. His hair was frizzy and dark circles plagued his under eyes. 

“Hello mister Sakusa, I’m so sorry for your loss. I only worked with Miss L/N for a short while, but I could tell that she was an amazing person.”

He nodded, he had heard so many people who hardly knew you utter the same bullshit to him. He knew that they were trying to be nice, but he couldn’t help but hate the rehearsed phrase. As if their words would make him feel better after you had just been cruelly ripped away from him. He knew better than anyone that you were a perfect being, someone who didn’t deserve to die.

“Miss L/N named you as her beneficiary, and has left everything to you. She also left you a letter,” your lawyer said as she slid over an envelope that had been sealed with wax. “You can read it here, but I recommend most of my clients to read things like this in the comfort of their home. If you wish to read it now though, I’m happy to step out and give you some time.”

He stared at the letter, his name scrawled across the back in your handwriting made his chest tighten. “I think I’ll read this at home,” he had said as he carefully picked up your letter.

Sakusa was glad that he decided to take the letter home to read, because he was choking on his tears, struggling to catch his breath after reading it.

Kiyoomi,

If you’re reading this then it means my cancer kicked my ass. 

I have no clue when I’m going to tell you about my diagnosis. I just want to say again that I’m so, so sorry for not telling you right away. I didn’t want to worry you like that, but you deserved to know. Again, I’m so sorry for being selfish. I hope you can forgive me.

As the lawyer may have told you, all of my stuff is now yours. I hope the money I left behind makes up for me missing rent. I’m really sorry for putting all that stress on you. 

I know you’re devastated right now, or at least I hope you are. Obviously I don’t mean that in a malicious way, but I hope you miss me— because I know I’m most definitely missing you. But I digress. I want you to heal. I don’t want your life to come to a standstill just because of this. I know you’re capable of so much with your volleyball career, and life in general.

I feel like this letter should be longer, but everything I’ve ever wanted to say I’ve already said to you. Please take care, Kiyoomi. I love you more than you could ever imagine.

Yours forever,

Y/N

—

There were so many things he wanted to do with you. He wanted the two of you to design the perfect custom built house and move into it. He wanted to have a huge yard with trees in it so the two of you could read together in the shade. He wanted to pretend to be annoyed at you when you would eventually beg for a pet, and then come home and surprise you with a pet he had picked out at the shelter.

He wanted to spoil you rotten on a vacation, just to get down on one knee and propose to you. He wanted to see how you would’ve reacted. Would you have cried? Screamed in excitement? Be at a loss for words? He’ll never know now, because the world is just that cruel.

Sakusa was a mess. Despite having made an entire rotation around the sun, he still hadn’t washed your dirty clothes sitting in your hamper, or the bedsheets you slept on. 

When nights were especially bad for him, he would grab a shirt of yours from the dirty hamper and clutch it to his face as he cuddled the pillows you once laid on. It was also on these especially hard nights where he would go onto his phone and look at old pictures of you in his camera roll or on your now inactive social media for hours. He would always end these nights the same way, listening to old voice messages you had left on his phone.

The first one, “hey Omi, I know you’re in practice right now but I’m gonna be home late. Can you go ahead and put my clothes into the washer?”

The second one, which always made him smile. The recorded sound of your giggling filled his ears, “‘mmm Omi. Drank too much with my friends. Can you come pick me up? Miss you so much,” you had drunkenly whined into the receiver.

And the final one, Sakusa’s personal favorite, “hi baby, just wanted to call even though you’re probably asleep right now. I watched your game with the Adlers today on TV and I’m so proud of you. I miss you so much and can’t wait for you to come home. Call me back when you get this, okay? I wanna hear your voice. Love you so much Omi.”

He would always respond to your recorded voice, “I love you too, Y/N,” voice so soft he could hardly hear himself. 

Sakusa sighed as he locked his phone, cuddling closer to your old pillow. A year may have passed, but he was going to do what you told him to in your letter. He was going to heal— for you.

navigation

[missmorosis]

babes IM SITTING HERE CRYING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT BECAUSE IM PAST 500 FOLLOWERS. 

IS EVERYONE OKAY??? DID YOU FOLLOW ME ON ACCIDENT OR SMTH BECAUSE 500. WOW. THATS. A LOT OF PEOPLE. 

IM NOT JOKING I LOOKED UP TO SO SO SO MANY PEOPLE WITH 500 FOLLOWERS AND I REMEMBER THINKING ABOUT HOW COOL IT WOULD BE TO EVEN HAVE A FOLLOWING BUT KLJASDJKF NOW I HAVE 500?? EXCUSE ME??

THANK YOU ALL SO SO SO MUCHHH

here were the chosen requests!!

ANYWAYS. im writing this at 2am and I HAVE A 500 EVENT IDEA LMAOO- so i know my requests have been closed for a while and i wanted to open them again, but i thought that wouldve been “boring” compared to my other events, SO I ADDED A LITTLE BIT OF... ✨SPICE✨ AND MADE IT SHOPPING THEMED & A WEEKLONG THINGAMABOB

BASICALLY requests are open for both scenarios and drabbles!! ill pick 7 (if there are that many BAHAHAH) and write a 500 word drabble!! (500 for 500 followers ahah ahaha)

those 7 drabbles/scenarios will be finished asap and queued for a week straight (week of the 18th), so it'll be an entire week with one posted piece of writing a day!

ill hopefully get a variety of requests (angst, fluff, crack, etc) and each genre will be a shop! each piece of writing will be something i buy from the shops, and by the end of the week, we’ll have 7 new items we got from our lil shopping spree IF THAT MAKES SENSE KLSJFDLK

SO!! WELCOME TO MY WEEKLONG SHOPPING SPREE!!

rules are a bit different than my normal ones, so please read these first!

you can request for both atla and haikyuu, but haikyuu is preferred bc my atla spark is dying ✋😩

i will not write nsfw because im a minor, and just make sure your request isn't dark content :)

all genres are welcome and encouraged!

include a character! these scenarios/drabbles will be character x reader! give one character if it’s a drabble, and three max if its a scenario!

give me an idea/title (explained below!)

this event is a shopping theme!! you can either give one of these two...

a title! come up with a title for a possible fic, and ill use that title to write a drabble! this title will be the name of the shop in my mall!! (ex: apology denied- this title could be potential angst, maybe a breakup fic of some sort?)

a general idea/prompt! basically a normal request, and ill make my own title & blurb based off of it! (ex: "can you write something where tsukishima finds their s/o asleep and is just... SOFT??" “how bokuto would act to you sleeping in” OR LIKE “something stupid and fun with oikawa at 2 in the morning?”)

ANYWAYS GO BESTIES GO!! 

request entries will be announced on april 15th, and the shopping spree will all be posted the week of april 25th, so you have a week to send in requests :D

if nobody sends in anything ill be sad so PLEASE SEND A REQUEST. IT LITERALLY DOESNT HAVE TO MAKE SENSE ILL MAKE DO WITH WHAT I HAVE KLASJDFL

[ethvn-torchio]

jo cleans out her google docs pt 1 | a steggy WIP that may or may not be finished

a/n: hello 😌 i am in the process of cleaning out my google docs and found this 😌 idk if ill finish it bc its kinda trash and pretty messily written (i tried to clean it up but got lazy) but here ya go. Please enjoy the following badly written fluff 😌✌

Word count: 788 (hella unedited)

“Steve,” she groans. “The alarm.”

She can hear him fumble for a second before she hears a concerningly smashed noise come from the clock.

“Did...did you just…?” 

“I, uh…” he shifts, and she can see him crane his neck to see. “Yep. It’s broken,”

“...This is the third time in two months that you’ve broken an alarm clock.”

“Yeah, I know,” he replies with a sigh.

They sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes, before, "Didn't we have something to do today?" Steve asks.

Peggy groans. "I was hoping you would've forgotten. We were finally going to put up that porch swing now that it's finally warm outside."

"We have been putting it off for a couple of weeks, now."

They both laugh, and Peggy pulls him into a kiss, closing her eyes.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're trying to seduce me, Captain Rogers," Peggy says, eyebrow raised.

"Who, me? Never. 'sides, you already married me."

"That shouldn't stop you from trying, Steven."

Seemingly taking that little comment as a personal challenge, his lips ghost over her neck and shoulders, making her shiver.

She can feel his smile against her skin, and each gentle kiss against the nape of her neck sends shivers up her spine.

"As much as I appreciate it, you do know that if we keep going, we won't get to that porch swing for a while. And I hate to break it to you, Darling, but you have morning breath." 

"...Fair point." he coincides, kissing her lips one last time, before getting out of bed. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go brush my teeth," he gives her a small, playful salute before making his way to the bathroom.

"Dramatic!" she tuts. 

Once she makes it to the kitchen, she notices that it's beginning to rain. 

Sighing to herself, she prepares the tea kettle for a cup of tea. Truly, there was nothing better than tea on a rainy day. 

Nothing at all.

He comes back to the kitchen, kisses Peggy on the cheek, and helps her to clean the dishes from last night's dinner.

After they finish the last of the dishes and tea has been made, they sit down together at the table for breakfast.

"So," she says, breaking the silence. "It's raining cats and dogs out there. Do you still want to put up the swing?" 

Steve glances out the window. "I don't care about rain if you don't," he replies honestly. 

Peggy stirs her tea absentmindedly before taking a sip. "Well, I still want it up, so let's go."

-insert more plot-

“Surely, we, as two capable adults, can handle a porch swing.” Peggy muses, reading over the deceivingly simple instructions.

“Sounds easy enough,” Steve says. “You just have to screw the arms on, then attach the chain part to the top.”

Peggy nods. 

-insert stuff that i just didn’t write-

“Well, I do know th-”

“You know nothing,” she interrupts. “You’re supposed to attach that there.”

Steve snorts at that, muttering something about a game about thrones. 

"Let me try," Peggy gets up, getting down on her knees to reattempt to figure out where the pieces actually go. 

Steve steps backward, watching over her shoulder. "Don't you at least need-"

“Nope,” she mutters stubbornly, trying to force the rather large, decorative piece of ornamental iron into the wood of the arm. The wood breaks a little upon her attempt, and she rolls her eyes. 

Steve’s already snickering by the time she looks back up at him.

Peggy glares at him. “Please, you’re no help.”

He raises his hands in defense. “I’m just standing here, Peg.”

“Like that makes it any better.” she huffs. 

"How about I just go inside to grab lunch, and then we'll figure this out when we're done eating?" Steve suggests. 

"Sure," Peggy answers him, unceremoniously tossing the piece she was working on the ground. “I think my mind needs a break from this swing.” 

"What are you feeling like today? We kind of need to go grocery shopping, so...we don't have much." Steve says, rummaging through the cabinets. 

"We have canned soup," she says, bringing out a pot. "Sound good?"

"What kind?" 

Peggy turns the can over, making a face. "Blegh, cream of mushroom." she hands the can to Steve regardless.

"At least it's not tomato soup," Steve sighs, dumping the soup in the pot. "You don't have to eat it if you don't want to."

"We don't have anything else to eat, so I suppose I'll have to stomach it," 

------------ 

also. tomato and mushroom soup fans stay mad, those are the worst soups dont @ me

thats it. thats the fic.

lmk if i should finish it or not lmaoo its just domestic fluff without a plot sdjfskdjfjkfjdf i just dunno what to even say here just give me feedback maybe

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

yeah same, i follow some fic accs that occaisionally post smut and its like mmmmm is the fluff writing enough to balance the posts that gives me finger burn trying to scroll past it? but yeah thats probably the way to go

ah i wasnt there for the teaser but i can imagine that was tantalising. lmaoo yes but to be fair i do have a writing acc called channiesbigheart so... balancing it out? but i absolutely am whipped beyond belief. it was a TRAVESTY how COULD they have. yeah the b sides gave him more lines but they werent the ones that were performed over and over at stages. yessss the line distribution in this album is impeccable, im pretty sure the thunderous stuff was some of their best distribution

hehe i can understand that, sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know? mmmm the differences are a bit nuts, it was 14 degrees today and in less than a week its going to be 32 or smth. BROOO that would be legendary, i bet theyd treat their artists rlly well and have great music as well ahhh but its a lot of work adn commitment. yES that is a mood if ever i heard one.

its the same in australia as well, sadly, you have people who hold up harry styles and lil nas x for breaking gender roles and wearing make up adn steryotypical womens clothing (and keep in mind i have infinite respect for both of them theyre honestly doing so much for the de-dehumanising of gay people and those who wear whatever they want), and calling the kpop boys gay and other things for doing the same thing, when theyve been doing it for years and gotten no recognition smh its so tragic. yes, anyway YES ONLY 6 MONTHS I AM FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES A BBY STAN altho i considered myself a fully fledged stay like 2 days after i got into them cos i just spent all day researching and fixating. YES someone said it. it feels like theyre losing a huge chunk of why a lot of people liked their music in teh first place, which was that whole dna, dope, fire mood. and even doing bright songs is fine, liek they should do what they want but i feel liek the western music industry is so fucking toxic that they feel pressured into making these decisions. dont get me wrong, theyre good decisions from a business perspective, theyre getting record breaking sales but still. mmm yeah honestly yg just needs to get its shit together or get out

oooh! not into nct but i see a lot of him, he seems rlly talented. ahh yes another channie ult lmaoo i feel that, my list is growing in leaps and bounds as well. mmm yeah i think i will, im just going to try to save enough money :) mingi appealed to me mostly for the voice (like felix smh what is it with me and deep voiced bois) but also his soft visuals and the whole cutesy thing he has going on i rlly liked. yes i did get into them while he was on hiatus, but im still mostly a casual stan, ill listen to the album when it comes out but i dont think ill obsessively look over everything to do with it, like skz. HAH WE'RE MORE SIMILAR THAN I THOUGHT. lmaooo the thot line describes them perfectly, why are they all so damn attractive. especially seonghwa, like that man looks like a character from a book, cardan greenbriar vibes anyone? mmhmm! his vocals are absolutely insane. ty! yeah im excited altho idk how theyre every going to beat border:carnival, that shit was impeccable. ahh no stress, enjoy teh groups you stan atm!

ahh thank you so much, ill keep that in mind. hehe thats good! hopefully its soon :( ah ty, it means a lot. ill think abt that and hopefully talk abt it a little more :)

ah, no it was inside our gymnasium but to get to the other side of the stage you had to exit the building, go around the back and then enter through the other stage door. ah tysm! im glad too. mmm same, they baffle me. ;n; noo so sad :( ahh, thats um not smth i put on here, but im in high school so make of that what you will :)

thank you! ive done a majority of them, i just have maths, an english presentation and an economic assignment due now so im pretty much home free. yeah i feel like hes the epitome of here for you while being inescapably far away. haha she sounds like one of my friends. lmaooo why is that me. hmmm i feel like youve answered a lot of them in that answer so maybe just ateez, enha, txt and bp? if you stan them? :)

ahhh no problem at all, proud of you for managing to overcome the procrastination! progress! mmm thats good! ahh pls do let me know if you ever decide that, i cant promise i wont cry but do what you gotta do :)

<3 w.a. 🐺

hi! sorry for the late reply, i didn't know how to construct sentences yesterday e.e

yeah sometimes it's the perfect balance! i personally don't like fics that focus mainly on the filth? the plot has to carry the whole fic somehow and the smut is just something to add to the mix. also, i'll follow you on your writing blog! i keep forgetting to do so, damn it.

"sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know?" putting it this way just silenced me but yes. angst just feels more realistic. it isn't always happy endings irl so i tend to do it a lot.

falling into skz is so easy! it felt like that for me too. stanning them felt like getting sucked into a blackhole. also yes i agree. kpop is nothing but an industry after all and it runs on money so i get why they do what they do as well.

i suggest we not talk about haechan because i will literally not shut up but yes my boy is an ace :( chan is also sooooo easy to love. and the chan's rooms just solidified his place as ult. having something to look forward to every week at a time when my mental health was just plummeting into the depths of tartarus just helped me be stable. oh yeah, mingi's deep voice is indeed sexc. and he has some wack ass duality as well! and i think seonghwa was one of the people i nearly considered as bias just because of his visuals because wow that's one beautiful face. and true, idk how enha's going to beat border:carnival. i don't like all the tracks simply bc of taste preferenceds but i like more than one so i consider that a lot already.

bro that gym should've had some sort of a covered walk :// also i miss being in high school sO DAMN MUCH. but i still feel like i am because time stopped when quarantine started and i was still in senior year at the time.

my ateez bias is wooyoung! it wasn't that much of a shocker to my kpop stan irls because i was a jimin stan for the longest time. enhypen is jake and they kept pointing out that he looked like seungmin sometimes so it's like chan's aussie-ness with a tinge of seungmin (the other guy in my skz bias line, in case i haven't mentioned it). txt is huening kai! i find it hard to believe that he's my age because he looks a lot younger? o.O and he always looks good damn :(( sigh for blackpink it's lisa! i tend to bias the maknaes of yg groups, it's a pattern i've noticed but don't intentionally do!

DON'T WASTE YOUR TEARS OMFG. you can always reach me elsewhere if i like disappear off this blog.

[jokerownsmysoul]

I had a bad day

Summary: Arthur is walking his way home after visiting Arkham State Hospital and being aware of his tragic childhood.

A/N: there’s no reader this time, I didn’t know where or how to put her in; I just got inspired by this pic and went with the flow; to be honest I don’t like this fic (nothing new) and I had other expectations before writing it, but I’m used to it lmaoo.

Content: angst

Warnings: mention of past trauma and mental illness, allusion to childhood abuse and suicide (just one sentence and the precise term is not used)

Word count: 3056

tag list: @arthurflecksgirl​

A/N: english is not my first language so I apologize for any typos, I’m still learning.

How can the entire life of a human being be written on a sheet of paper?

The memories she had left in those who were part of her life, the wounds she had suffered from and the pain she had faced, the consequences her actions have spread throughout the world and extended in her own son, allowing them to be born as fruits of a fertile soil that cannot be totally controlled.

How can his own pain be summarized by writing it in sheets of paper and then leaving them in a basement as if his pain were something to be erased, as if it had never existed? That’s what Arthur was wondering as he walked the streets of a city he couldn’t recognize anymore.

Maybe it would have been better this way, maybe Arthur should have let those sheets of paper stay in that basement and let them be read only by the dust in the room that held them from a city he couldn’t see, in a world to which he had been forced to bend, his hurt knees and a prayer in his mind that screamed in silence to be heard.

In a city that sucked him up, but still, it had kept those sheets of paper for more than thirty years anyway, in a basement mixed among streets that he didn’t know and for a second, moved by a vain hope dead before actually coming to light inside him, he liked to think that maybe, just maybe, those sheets of paper were deliberately set aside in that basement to protect him from not looking at his past life in the face; a life that he couldn’t recognize as his own but of which he bore the wounds that it had left inside him.

step step step step step step step step step step step

His feet felt so heavy as he walked through the streets of the city that at every step his ankles burned and his legs gave the impression of lifting with difficulty, as if he had heavy lead in his skin that had surrounded his muscles and didn’t allow him to move, let alone dance; while he felt his leaden feet pressing on the asphalt Arthur even thought that it was a city’s attempt to protect him from those papers that he would never have known if he had not decided that day to go to Arkham State Hospital in search of a truth he never thought would be so different from his hopes and convictions.

How had the words to be written on those sheets been chosen? Deciding which word matched in the best way with his mother’s pain, choosing the words that best could correspond to the wounds that had been inflicted through this pain and that most of the others deserved to have a place on those sheets of paper.

Was his life really so worthless that it could be described by a simple word? Was his life really so irrelevant that it could be enclosed in a single sheet of paper and let it be written by hands of someone who didn’t even experience that pain and would never feel it?

Yet those sheets of paper seemed to be the only way through which people, perhaps, he hoped, could have understood him. They could have found the strength to no longer be frightened by his condition and suffering, they could have accepted his mental illness without expecting him to behave in a different way from the ill person he was and choose him, with his behavior and his broken soul, choose him for who he was entirely. Those sheets of papers described his condition more than his card could ever have done, yet, and perhaps for this very reason, as his emaciated body was swallowed up by that dark and gloomy city, he thought that nothing had ever hurt him more than those sheets of paper had done and he couldn’t see a way to save himself. No, not anymore.

When he was required to give his card to those who attended his laughter he perfectly noticed how they read it, so quickly that he would have sworn they didn't read it at all and pretended to do so only to get away from him as soon as possible or keep ignoring him. Most of the time they were even annoyed by his painful laughter because it forced them to notice him and give him the attention that, really, they didn’t want to give him.

He felt responsible during these times and even obliged to apologize continuously for having drawn their attention against their will; as if having to apologize for feeling pain by always carrying that card with him wasn’t hard enough to bear for a single person, more than humanly unfair could possibly be.

And yet, every time he gave his card to some stranger, his hopes and desires remained within him and he hoped that that time it would have been different than the others. Maybe this time it will be different, maybe this time the card will be read for real, maybe they will return it back, maybe...

He wanted to catch in them the concern Arthur really wanted to read in their faces when they turned towards him, he wanted them to feel empathy or a bit of understanding, he wanted to see the look of someone who had truly read those words and understood that behind his card it wasn’t hiding a clown thing, but a burden that weighed more on his life than they might think, perhaps they would have even told him little nothing of comfort.

That never happened.

Very often he thought he was so invisible that not even his card could be read with the attention Arthur deserved and that he would want to receive; he thought he was lucky when people were willing to interact with him enough to return the card and not throw it on the ground like it was garbage to be disposed.

As if his own pain was garbage to be disposed.

Just like anyone who decided to left those sheets of paper in a basement and let them rot in the dust of a life that had been torn from him and couldn’t go back to, left in a box where no one could ever read them and know his story.

By now he had become accustomed to seeing pieces of paper in which his pain was written being treated like garbage and perhaps his own pain deserved nothing more than to be buried in the desolation of a basement where no one would ever look at those papers and understand how much pain his soul had to carry on its own, or thrown to the ground ready to be trampled as his card.

How words needed to describe the pain and suffering of a person, that should bring comfort and make sure that they do not bring further pain to anyone who reads them, may hurt so badly? Those words were enough to destroy Arthur’s soul and make it waver on a plane that was already unstable and very fragile and had nothing to support him, he felt like as if a huge papercut had cut his soul in two parts.

Arthur was walking his way home, and all he could think about was what destroyed him that day. Whenever he thought he could no longer be broken and suffering much more than he was already, life put itself between him and the others, between everything he wanted but wasn’t allowed to have.

That day he had hoped that all the informations about his mother he had been told weren’t true as much as the attentions of those who kept their eyes on his card, pretending to read every word of his pain but not read them at all.

He hoped that the words he had been told about his mother’s mental illness would be full of all the neglect he had met during his life, he hoped that people had once again mocked him; yet, the only words he wanted were careless and devoid of truth, the only words he hoped would not describe his mother’s suffering which he didn’t want to accept but that followed him everywhere, were the only true words that had ever been told to him, the same words he had read in those pieces of paper.

Until then he had dreamed of the version of himself he wanted to be, and once he read those words, this dream in which he had lived all his life had now been broken, forcing him to look at a childhood he couldn’t recognize as his own and read words of memories he didn’t really remember or want to, to look at a reality he no longer knew and in which he couldn’t even recognize himself, so small and fragile was he in a world too cruel for him to face it just by himself and surrounded by buildings so imposing they hid the sky, which was the only thing that at that moment could have reminded him that something other than this cruel city where he had lived until then existed, that there was another world beyond those skyscrapers too high that he could reach.

He wondered what happens to the memories kept repressed in his subconscious once life forces them to emerge, once he was forced to read them ink on paper and look at them clearly, holding them in his hands as if they were objects with a shape and a weight.

He felt wrapped up in an illusion that he thought it didn’t belong to him as he walked alone through a labyrinth of spectral and rusty roads, totally surrounded by imposing buildings and roads that he couldn’t recognize as the same roads that every day he walked to come back home.

He hoped that that moment was the beginning of his own end, he wanted all this to end, but he knew that it wasn’t at all so and that at home he would have faced the life from which he had always escaped unknowingly but had always waited for him.

He never thought that to hurt him the most, more than those who pretending to read his card, more than those who attacking him daily and more than those who didn’t want to see him, had been the only person he had ever defended and cared for all his life. Penny.

He would never have thought that in all those memories so destructive and frightening that his mind had voluntarily wanted them to forget it was hiding the only person who more than anyone should have protected the child he had been and with whom he had shared his life; that the only place where he thought he could never be attacked, which he returned to every day after work, was precisely the place that had marked him more than the others, and more than anything had left its mark on his soul and his exhausted mind.

It was on the streets of this ghost town that he had realized the meaning of his life. He was a solitary soul. 

He was a lonely heart that at that moment was wandering in a city that didn’t want him, and in a world too cruel to allow him to live without having to apologize all the time for feeling something different than the happiness everyone had told him to feel.

The buildings were so big and imposing in front of him that they seemed to want to hide him completely, as if he were one of those super rats that invaded Gotham, that no longer deserved to live and protected themselves behind the garbage placed in the darkest alleys of the city.

He walked among the inhabitants of Gotham while the rain was surrounding him entirely and not even in the most excruciating pain he had ever experienced they seemed to notice him.

How far should his pain have gone for him to be noticed? How much suffering enough he had to be to be seen as he wanted?

He would have wanted to be seen, he would have wanted someone to turn to him and see the invisible tears on his face that he had never been able to shed, but at that moment they were so desperately desired by him that he was feeling them under his skin, hidden in silence behind his face upset by a suffering that he didn’t yet know how he would handle it; those tears were so highly desired but at the same time so denied by his own body that the only thing allowed to him was to perceive them within himself as if they were a ghost reminding him that his pain existed, yet it didn’t matter enough even for Arthur who wouldn’t let himself cry, not even laugh.

Even a single person holding his card in their hands as if it were something that matter would have been enough to him.

The rain that was accompanying him on his way home seemed to be the only element of the world he lived in to have truly seen him, so drenched and messy was he at that moment. His hair was long liquid strands glued to his face, his clothes attached to his skin followed the sharp forms of his lean body making him look skeletal and weighing down the weight he was already carrying with difficulty on his shoulders.

He wondered if he was so drenched  at that moment because the rain was offering him its very self and he wondered if, knowing that though at such a painful moment even his painful laughter wasn’t enough, these rainy tears were crying on his behalf by falling from the sky to his body as if they were tears of his own eyes.

Perhaps the rain was cleaning from his body the traces of all the words written in those sheets of paper that he hadn’t recognized by reading them, perhaps it was purifying him from a life that wasn’t fitting him, as if it were a dress of a smaller size. Maybe the world was apologizing and teaching him how to fall without getting hurt through the rain which falling to the ground never breaks but mixes and blends itself with the asphalt, disappearing completely.

And yet, as the rain hit him and he felt the raindrops crushing against his hair and worn out clothes, he also wondered if those tears could be a punishment.

The punishment of being in the world, the punishment of existing in the wrong way and not the way people expected, the punishment for being so shattered at that moment that not even his painful laughter could escape from his lungs with such power it scratched his throat and held it in a grip so strong that it suffocated him.

At that moment not even his laughter’s pain could come out of his mouth and he felt the skin of his face completely numb by a pain that couldn’t emerge in any way, because there are sorrows so strong that lead to feel nothing.

At that moment he was underwater, totally immersed in his own pain. Under the water of a rain he couldn’t understand whether it was a purification that was weeping on his behalf or a punishment for his existence, under the water of his thoughts that were eating its already wounded soul making him suffocate. His body was a cage that was draining him from within and kept him from having any chance of experiencing his emotions in the way every human seemed to succeed, except for him. 

He had reached the elevator of the building where he lived and the closer he got to his apartment, the more in his mind Sophie’s image grew. Perhaps seeing his pain at its height when it was stronger and more overwhelming than ever would have allowed Sophie to understand him on that night, maybe she would have been the warmth he sought so much in the world and that, ironically, all this time had lived right next to him without him being aware of it.

He went right to his apartment and although he still felt his feet wrapped in lead and was struggling to walk his steps were firm and solid as they had never been since he woke up that morning, imagining that through Sophie he would understand whether the rain that poured on him was really purifying as he had hoped until then, or a punishment as he had feared.

He wondered if she would hold him in her arms even though his clothes were wet, he wondered if she had recognized upon him this purifying rain which had decided he deserved some salvation; he wondered if embracing him by letting herself soak in his clothes she would have also welcomed his pain and said words of comfort to take off from him the signs of that bad day.

He was afraid that, like all the bystanders he’d come across on his way home, Sophie would not have been able to recognize in him the man worthy of love who was hiding behind that expression contracted in unacceptable pain as he crossed the threshold of her apartment; he feared that in the rainy drops that were falling from his hair on his already soaked clothes she wouldn't see the purification as he hoped, but the punishment the sky had inflicted on him and a man who didn’t deserve to be accepted even in his worst, when he was more fragile and in need of someone by his side.

He explored with his fingers things and furniture belonging to a life he wanted to be his completely alone, submerged in his loneliness from which he wanted to escape and, despite his fears and his soaking clothes, he hoped that he could really have the life he was looking for.

Would Sophie have welcomed his soul as drenched, worn and messy as his clothes were by embracing him and letting not only his clothes but also his sorrowful soul drench her, too, welcoming him and his sorrows?

Would she have seen him, accepted him, loved him?