#maybe ill make more sleep token art. i need to post more of my art in general lmao

[aaaawic]

in celebration of whatever the fucks going on with Show Me How To Dance Forever Dot Com, heres a vessel digital painting i did back in september of last year

[sleep-token-confessions]

I'm going to be honest, I struggle to understand what the fandoms hatred for booktok is. I'm not too familiar with booktok so maybe i need more context. But from my perspective the hate seems to be "women are having horny thoughts that make ME personally uncomfortable" rather than anything actually harmful. Sleep token intentionally leave their music up for interpretation, incorporate sexual/romantic themes into their music on purpose, and do fanservice-y things on stage. So as long as no ones actually sexually harassing the band members at concerts, are keeping thirst posting in appropriate spaces, and arent being awful about whatever life experiences Vessel may have used as inspiration for the lyrics, then i really dont see why its bad? I think theres a lot of unchecked misogyny in the fandom, as well as an unwillingness to agree to disagree on personal interpretations due to the personal attachment people have to the lyrics. Its bizarre to me especially since sleep token intentionally uses a mix of genuine adoration for the subject of the songs and also acknowledgement that whatever relationship they have is toxic and that those things can coexist in a toxic relationship. Why cant we say that the music is both romantic/sexy AND also that if your real life relationships resemble some songs then that is concerning? And why cant we also say that its okay to have horny thoughts/express your horny thoughts as long as you arent screaming them at concerts or saying awful things about whatever real life trauma Vessel may have experienced? It honestly drives me up the wall, and some comments about what Vessel may have experienced in life feel less like reasonable concern and more like infantilization of a grown adult who may or may not be mentally ill/traumatized but is still nonetheless a grown adult who chose to incorporate romantic/sexual elements in his art (i dont say that in a victim blaming way, im not okay with people screaming sexual comments at concerts, just that its okay to respond to these elements in the music/stage presence in appropriate non-sexually-harassing ways). I hope ive explained myself well, i just get very frustrated with the fandom and i have my own personal relationship with the music that leaves me baffled at how people think im a "bad fan" just because they cant personally relate to my perspective and i also am not fully sure what people mean by "booktok sleep token fans"

.

[bvannn]

Weekly Update November 29, 2024

I’ve had awful insomnia and not a lot of motivation to draw, but I think I figured out why the second one is true: I recently moved into a new apartment, and it has terrible ventilation, and my hands are freezing cold all the time! It’s going to get worse as winter approaches, since I live in the Midwest, but I ordered a space heater today to hopefully remedy this for now, plus I’m trying to get a better job so I can move somewhere nicer, but I guess a degree in the field and a couple years of experience in the field aren’t good enough nowadays. I think it’s because no one wants new employees once they realize they need to pay them, so they put out listings that never get filled. It’s fine I’m doing what I can about it. I’m trying to work around my problems.

Drawing has been very limited due to cold hands, insomnia leaving me with a lack of energy, and some illness flareups. They’ve been extra bad this week for whatever reason, probably stress. I did a couple more epithet erased TTRPG drawings at the beginning of the week, got some maps done and decorated. I figured out the digital tabletop I want to use insofar as map making, I’ll have a friend walk me through fog of war and other features at some point. I wrote out a doc with the villains’ backstory, and I’m getting really attached, which is great. I’ll post tokens for some of them once I have them. Theoretically I could run the first ‘episode’ as soon as the last tokens for that are finished, but I think I’m going to put it off until I have stuff for the next couple episodes done.

I’ve fiddled around with music stuff this week but tried to stick with what I’ve already started. I posted Raccoon Rock, I’ve done a similar animation loop for the Blow Off Steam re-edit to make a lyric video out of, and I have sketches for a few other cover arts, including one for a batch. I have plans for that batch, finally, but I’m still going to release the songs first, just for the sake of having something to release. I found a couple vocaloid producer mutuals on Bluesky so that should help with motivation.

FF has the first round of tuning done, I did learn about a new program called tunelab which can help with pitchbends and pronunciation, although I’m not sure it’s entirely legal? If it is I’m totally using it though it looks really nice. I also finagled with my vocal mixing strategies again to get a hold on how to do growls, and I found a much easier method than what I was doing. I’ve been finaggling with OBS again and maybe if my hands are still cold next week and I run out of stuff to do that involves drawing I’ll make a tutorial.

I did a bit more of another animation project that’s been on the back burner, that’s also at a bottleneck since I need to draw more assets. Comic has also been going pretty slow due to art bottleneck but I did get page 12 finished and page 13 is sketched, we’re 41% done. I think right now the main concern is going to be waiting for that space heater, I’ll try to catch up on sleep and maybe watch cartoons or something to fix my mood. I do have another craft project I could do but I’m not going to start another craft project until a couple more art things are off my plate.

It is Black Friday so I’m tempted to spend money on something for my mood, but right now I’m just raiding all the music plugin giveaways. Maybe I’ll write some smaller songs to throw on the pile of unreleased music. Or maybe not, who knows.

[lasorciereviolette-blog]

On Witch

(So RP’s are a bit slow right now so I might as well continue down the saltapalooza that has been opened up due to a post on how Sega’s flanderized Amitie over the years. 

This one’s kind of all over the place, because it’s not a strict flanderization argument per se and since Witch is my favourite I like to gush about her. I’ll try to keep on topic as much as possible though.

So I’ll start by saying that honestly, this could be a lot worse in several ways. Sega’s done at least a little homework on Witch. It took them nearly a decade to put Witch in one of their games (no, 7 does not count since she has no lines) but it looks like she’s here to stay seeing as she was kept on the roster for both Tetris and Chronicle.

But... Now what? See, my analysis has led me to the conclusion that Sega have absolutely idea of what to do with Witch.

I didn’t always have that viewpoint. At one time I thought Sega had done a pretty good job with Witch. She showed up, her story was reasonably funny, and she was actually allowed to behave like a selfish jerk unlike certain characters. 

However, a little while ago I came across a translation of Yon’s cutscenes. And I came across an unfortunate discovery: Witch’s campaign in 20th is nothing new at all. Nope. It’s just a copy-paste of her few scenes in Yon, and one cutscene in Sun.

Let me elaborate. See, in 20th Witch is trying to collect ingredients to create a potion in one of Wish’s spellbooks. Collecting these ingredients involves taking parts off of certain cast members, namely Draco’s tail, the Acorn Frog’s eye, an imp’s horns, a ladybug, a dark wizard’s hair, and a fish’s scales. On the surface this isn’t a bad premise. I didn’t mind it too badly before I knew anything about Yon. Except in Yon, Witch’s goals are almost identical. She needs Draco’s tail and Seriri’s scales, and wants to collect Carbuncle’s finger grime (... somehow) just in case she ever needs it. When she comes across a sleeping Dragon, she also tries to seize the opportunity to grab some snot.

The details aren’t exactly the same, at least. Which is nice, because if the scenes were word for word the exact same I’d be even more peeved. I can at least give the writers that much. The thing is, after waiting so long for a beloved character’s comeback, why did they decide just to recycle half the cutscenes from other games? I suppose this can be forgiven since it’s an anniversary title, but it’s still a little odd.

And then we get to Tetris, where Witch has a total of... One scene. When DLC was released, she got another very short scene. While these were both original, there... Really was nothing to them. All she wants to do is perform an experiment with blocks in one, and in the other she mocks Draco, which would have been absolutely unsurprising if you had played either Saturn or Yon in the past. Witch’s appearance is very much a token one and she doesn’t even really interact with other characters besides Draco Centauros when there was an opportunity to have her bounce off of the members of the Starship Tetra, or Amitie, or Ringo. Or maybe to put her in Primp and have her hang out with some of the people she used to. Talk about a waste. Witch is a fun and dynamic character who has been allowed to remain a bit of a jerk. There was plenty of room to have her interact with new characters, but instead they threw her into space and called it a day. Hell, she’s a comet witch and she doesn’t even notice she’s in space!

Which leads me into the next part of this rant, the fact that Sega only really seemed to look at Yon and one cutscene in Sun and determined her entire character from there. Before Yon Witch was primarily a comet witch. While she did make potions in Seriri’s Happy Birthday, Witch’s gameplay was focused more on flight and spellcasting. Based on her moveset in other games, Witch not only shares most of Arle’s spell set (being proficient in fire, ice, and lightning magic, as well as being able to cast Brain Dumbed and Jugem) but has her signature Meteor spell and a few other comet style magics such as Big Bang. These spells have a distinctive star theme when she casts them, distinguishing her from Arle.

Pretty cool, huh? She is also somewhat of a melee fighter, not being afraid to swat people with her broom. (this isn’t the greatest of examples but it’s cool so)

Coming back to her broom flying, a whole game was built around it called Comet Summoner. It didn’t have much of a story, but it did feature a bunch of cute levels and a powerful boss that may or may not have been Witch’s future self. And this future self was strong, with a huge red aura, several health bars, and the ability to not only zip around the stage at high speeds, but cast spells of her own and combo you with a mix of melee and magic if you fuck up and get too close to her.

Witch would make a good fighting game character. 

This is getting a bit off topic, but point is, Witch is versatile. But unfortunately it seems that apart from her spell names Sega can’t be bothered to remember her versatility and just wants her to make wacky potions. I’m not opposed to her making wacky potions, it’s not necessarily bad, but at one time she was a lot more than that.

She was more complex as a character than she seems to be in 20th or Tetris. Maybe not in Yon, where she appears very little, but in Madou Monogatari she got some attention. Yes, Witch is selfish. Yes, she’s pretty power hungry. Yes, she’d probably sell quite a few people out for a single corn chip. But there are some people who are dear to her, like for example her grandmother Wish. While again, I can’t read Japanese, Witch Leeroy Jenkins’s into a room when she sees her grandmother’s body on the floor in Tower of the Magician. Afterwards, Witch’s body language is pretty clear to see.

She’s clearly very worried about Wish and does not appreciate any harm coming to her. Even jerks have loved ones, I guess?

Let’s give Sega the benefit of the doubt, maybe that one trait just hasn’t come into play yet. After all, Wish hasn’t appeared (but she has been mentioned). Sure. However, there are other traits that the Sega games ignore when it comes to Witch’s character.

First, Sega has arguably made Witch into an even worse jerk. In Compile’s games, Witch is often abrasive and rude, but she will defer to an expert’s judgment in a situation she doesn’t understand. Case in point, Saturn. Upon coming across the Yog smoke, she avoids possession because she immediately listens to Arle and Rulue’s advice. She doesn’t argue, she just does it. 

Contrast this with 20th. 

In general, Witch is crafty and rather full of herself in Saturn, but not so much as Rulue. She has a low opinion of martial arts and so that makes her play well off of Rulue (It probably also explains her animosity towards Draco), while she has a high opinion of her magical skill and loves to soak up praise. Witch also shows little ill will towards those who quit the tournament after a Yog presents itself, which might hint at some sensibility the character doesn’t tend to have much of after this. 

Witch is also a bit of a snarker in this game:

There’s character here besides her excitability, or getting pissed off when things don’t go her way. Now Saturn does bring up Witch’s legendary temper, but we don’t really see the results of that in-game. 20th really pushes that informed attribute into the spotlight, where all her thoughtfulness and cleverness go out of the window for her to make a bad potion that obviously contained too many substitutions, to the potion not being useful in the first place, to her beating up Lemres for stating the blatantly obvious. Witch doesn’t really come off any smarter than Draco at the end of this, because all of this was obvious! She just comes off as an even worse ass than usual because of Sega’s wackiness mandate.

I also really don’t get what the point of her fighting Lemres even was. Lemres seems disappointed at the end that he didn’t get to talk to Witch more, but the story just ends. There isn’t any kind of payoff or character growth here. Just... Nothing. Again, a total waste of potential, having the two comet mages meet and then do absolutely nothing of value. Love it, Sega.

Oh yeah, there were two more things Sega forgot about. First, this.

Witch is probably an actual pervert, to contrast with Schezo’s fake perversion (which may or may not be real perversion too sometimes, because Saturn’s fun like that). So that’s another thing Sega forgot, for better or for worse.

Which leads me to the last bit that Sega’s forgotten. This too I can’t really say if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. I like that it exists in Compile’s games, but if Sega remembered it would likely devour what remains of Witch’s personality. In certain games, there are implications that Witch may have a crush on Schezo. She fawns over him in athletic clothes in Puyolympics and as seen above, asks if he’s cool and wants to touch him in Saturn. Then of course there’s the whole “I want you” scene that solidifies the thing. For all I know there could be evidence for or against this in Tower of the Magician, which is a game where the two spend quite a bit of time interacting with each other, but since I haven’t learned to read Japanese in the last few hours I can’t comment on that, as much as I want to.

Now whether this is a good or bad thing for Sega to ignore really depends on your interpretation of this trait. I’m personally torn, because again I’m glad that Witch has not been reduced to a lovesick one-note failure. On the other, it’s a facet that a more competent writing team could have explored with some success. So it sucks that it’s been abandoned completely, but the end result could have been really terrible had Sega noticed this, so... Yay?

Okay, so I’ve written blocks of text. What does it all mean? Well, it means Witch isn’t immune to being flanderized in Sega’s works. It could be a lot worse, but there’s plenty of Witch’s character that’s been left out of current Puyo and plenty that has been aggrandized into a worse person. Right now Witch reminds me of a mixture of herself and Saturn’s take on Rulue, which... Really sucks, because no wonder Sega can’t figure out how to make Rulue stand out if they give her traits to other characters! Poor Rulue. Give her some love, Sega. She doesn’t deserve this kind of shafting.

As for Witch, you’re not going to get a total sweet kindhearted girl out of her. She was never that kind of character and that’s not a bad thing. But throwing on Rulue’s most boastful traits and making her a worse jerk, then giving her cameos because you don’t know what to do with her isn’t a good way to characterize her. Return some of that sense into the mix! Like I said in my Schezo comments, not everyone needs to be a wacky joke 24/7.

[dearestjaemin]

26 Questions for the Saniwa

a question meme i saw from wikia and wanted to answer it here!!! since this is where i mostly put my tkrb posts....

q&a under the cut!

Q.What is your name and which server is your citadel on?

A. 桃井　さつき　+ see battle record uwu;;;;

Q. When did you start serving as a Saniwa? Please display your battle records.

A. April 22 of 2017!!! I recently celebrated my first year anniversary and it was nice uwu

Q. Which starter sword did you pick? What is he doing now?

A. Kashuu Kiyomitsu!!! Um, well, he’s just there... waiting for his kiwame... Actually uwu;; I used him for a recent VOT thinking exp accumulates and carries over to kiwame! Did that to him because he’s the only one I wouldn’t get angry at haha

Q. Who is the first among your swords to reach the maximum level? What do you think of him

A. If i remember correctly, it is Hotarumaru!!! He arrived pretty early but I’m sure he got to 99 hella quick because of VOT AHHAHAA I love him!! He’s relatively fast for an ootachi + he’s cute!!!

Q. Who do you have in each of your squads, and how do you use them? If you haven’t unlocked all four teams yet, briefly describe how you plan to organize them.

A. First squad varies depending on event! (WTE is either all kiwame or newbies, VOT is tachi + ootachi; if it isn’t battle regiment?? all other squads are on expedition!) Currently: Second squad is 97 akita, 99 tarou, 99 micchan, 24 tomoe (extra haha a...) 97 yagen (for the naginata expedition!), third squad is for yari expedition, with 55 ote, 99 mutsu, 35 (extra) fudou (he levelled up by sheer force of expedition HAHAHAH) 99 ishi, fourth squad is 99 kashuu, 99 sayo, 99 kousetsu, 53 nihongou

if it’s battle regiment, it’s either all kiwame team again for first squad then the rest goes on exp. if not, first team is night battle, then tachi team, then uchi team.

Q. Without considering the performance of the swords, which type of sword do you prefer?

A. I love tantous!! They’re so cute huhu I also love my naginatas!!

Q. List the swords that you like and your thoughts on them.

A. i this is a lot ahahhaa um i love kashuu’s art style and everything about him. he’s so cute and im a sucker for his voice!!! i love my baby gokotai imma protecc him. I LOVE FUDOU i love his drunk self but i never knew i could love him more until he kiwame-d! i love horikawa so much i would give him all the love ;; I LOVE KANE-SAN he’s so handsome aaaaa and i like idiots like him huhu MONOYOSHI he’s so pretty imma cry for his kiwame ;;;;; mICCHAAAN i love his voice and his mom-ness. i love tsuru’s art so much!!! also such a playful boy ;;;; I LOVE HOTARUMARU SO MUCH bb rest well ;; IWAIWA i luv him so much ainsaksnaks and and otegine is slowly having a spot bcos i always hear him for expedition ahahhaha...

Q. Are there any pairings that you like? If there is, please list them.

A. Kashuu and Yasu!! I love these two!! KaneHori but also KashuuHori owo I love MikaKogi and MikaTsuru uwu MitsuKara!!! I also love TsuruKara hehe and IwaSouza!! (haha zoku’s tiny moment of them...) AND YAMABUSHIXJUZU BOI U CANT CONVINCE ME THAT THEYRE NOT CUTE and sweats.... a lot of tachis x saniwa.... .////.

Q. Is your Citadel an employee-friendly Citadel or a black-hearted Citadel that works your swords to the bones?

A. I- ;; maybe black-hearted? I only repair swords when they get to red for resource + instant token purposes (unless im not gonna use them for a long time) I do only work with gold troops because i think they deserve gold troops uwu;;; Or work to the bones mean fatigue?? I never let them out non-sakura fubuki (if you lose the flowers, you get to be leader!)

Q. Have you ever done anything weird to your swords?

A. I what?? 

Q. Have you ever broken a sword? What happened, and who did you break?

A. I’ve mentioned this a lot but I’ll say it again haha I broke Gokotai on a run on WTE Map 4?? I was at school (whoops) and I was playing during a seatwork?? since it only needed clicking. When I looked at the screen, Gokotai broke!! I didnt even hear his line! I thought he had an omamori but it turned out that he was the only one without it! I was horrified as he was already 90+ (ready to be sent out for kiwame! so thankfully not yet a kiwame) and i was near in tears! I got another gokotai and on the same day i level-ed him to 30?? ye. ahaha-

Q. Who looses troops the most in your Citadel? And who is the most skilled at making troops?

A. I think it’s Daihannya? And it’s Kousetsu! Or, well I believe he makes good troops...

Q. Have you ever done something with all your might in order to get a particular sword? Please describe what you did and the results.

A. Good story: I used up all my ofudas and resources were almost less than a 100k?? and it was night time already!!! God i needed to sleep. then tomoe came home!!! Juzu too!!! God I ran thru 7-4 long route so many times i think i 99-ed a set of tantous + almost another set of them before i got him uwu;;

Bad story: same thing and I was down to 50k??? yep i think that was it. koryuu still didnt come home. ;;

Q. Are you superstitious? (wwww)

A. I believe that Nakigitsune brings swords home as he brought Juzu home (and he brought Juzu home as well for my sis! Also Shizukagata for her!) Also back when I sucked at VOT, I believe that screaming beads repeatedly while pumping my fists helps (no it doesnt but well im desperate for an ichigo)

Q. What made you join the TKRB fandom in the beginning? How about now?

A. I saw fanarts of it from an artist i love and im like WHAT IS THIS?? at first it was only the game and i heard it was pc + jap only so i gave up. when hanamaru came out, i watched and got hooked!!! i then started playing. i stay for the art + i actually enjoy the mindlessness of this game. perfect for someone with bad attention span like me ^^;;

Q. What do you think of the current maps? Which map is good for training/grinding, which maps do you get lost in the most, which map do you want to burn?

A. They’re ok now that they updated the less clicking thing! I love 7-4, long route for my tantous + 5-4 for my tachis. I get lost a lot in 7-1??? and this map in 6... ID BURN 7-2 AND 7-3 WOW I LOST A LOT OF RESOURCES FOR THE DAMN REPAIR

Q. Are there any game systems or improvements that you hope DMM will implement?

A. I would mention the less clicking but they already improved that! Honestly the recent updates were real nice! Maybe something like auto play? Like it would only prompt you to click if there is an injured sword or cant scout? haha less clicking again ^^;;;

Q. If DMM cooperates on an event with another game/anime/etc., what would you like to see?

A. Since this is about swords, I kinda want something like FFXV bcos noctis and his swords... Or final fantasy in general!! Actually I also want Natsume Yuujinchou hahahaha.. and sanrio... ah ahaha.

Q. Have you ever spent money playing TKRB? Is so, how much? If not, do you plan to?

A. sweats... I’ve bought two sword slot expansion and two troop slot expansion (check the store for price!) Outside the game, I’ve bought some mostly Kashuu merch because he’s def my favorite!

Q. Is there any merchandise that you would like to buy or see?

A. Mini-sword keychains? haha or maybe a music box?

Q. Have you done any fanwork? If so, what?

A. I’ve written some short oneshots! It’s either here or on quidumps

Q. What do you think you are like as a Saniwa?

A. I think I’m the type who spoils them a lot (esp the tantous and anmitsu uwu) and plays along with Tsuru’s pranks! Maybe doting is the word? Ah some swords might not be ok with it but i might be cuddly! I imagine hugging ishikirimaru a lot bcos he looks soft ;w; ishipapa!!!! warm uwu also i feel like ill be close with micchan! i dont think ill get along with mika tho HAHAHA JIJI!!!! 

Q. If the government asked you to choose a sword to kill yourself with in terms of emergency, who would you pick?

A. hm... I would say it’s Kashuu because he knows me the most and he is the most mature among everyone. If it’s going to be a tantou, I would say someone like Atsushi because he looks strong emotionally. Emotionally, I would also say Kiwame!Fudou as I think he finally understands what it means to be a mamorigatana. (not imano... ill break his heart ;;)

Q. The government has asked you to write a report: how would you describe the situation in your Citadel?

A. Everything is under control! We’re fighting off the Retrograding Army quite well! Horikawa has Kane-san under control!!!

Q. What do you think of the Retrograding Army?

A. maybe if they were cuter... ah no haha. I wish they would tell us why theyre changing history >< And maybe stop for some time??

Q. Lastly, please say something about the TKRB from the bottom of your heart!

A. Thank you so much for existing!!!! I never knew I would be this hooked! No plans on leaving and hopefully it stays like that! Please stay popular so when I get to Japan with enough money I can support full on!! HAHAHAHAH

[lizardswithoutlegs]

HOOOOOWOWOAH BOY

ART ASKS

when i walk into a building i get to eat everybodys pencils and they cant say no

do it 

( also thanks for asking ! ) 

itd bother me a lot less if everybody came to my apartment and took one of these beautiful eggs

YEAH UNFORTUNATELY IM STILL..... WORKING THROUGH THE SAME WAITLIST but im comparatively REAL CLOSE to being done with it and i should be opening up sometime later in...... the Year

Boy Have I

theres This messy thing from a while back and then also

THIS, from even FURTHER back, when i didnt realize how fucking RED all the outlines on my things were because of the monitor i was using, two for the price of one

why not both

i do Not but it you ever see me walking on the street please throw handfuls of teeth at me theyre the only things my wretched body can digest and im always hungry

OH MAN ok so, an art telephone game is based on, of course, the game telephone, where one person says a phrase and then whispers it to the next person, and so on and on until the person at the very end says whatever they heard and if its done right the final sentence is wildly different than what you started with

an ART telephone game is the same kind of concept, except one person draws out a scene or character, and then other artists draw THEIR interpretation of whats going on, and so forth until the last person can end up with something COMPLETELY different than what the first scene was

youd think thered be less room for error with drawings, but as each person ONLY sees what the person ahead of them has made, they can get PRETTY OUT THERE - im gonna be a part of pythosarts game, and theyve done a couple of em before - for example one round started with THESE as the first two drawings

and then fourteen interpretations later, ended up with these as the final two

its good its real good

I Cant Control Where Bigfoot Goes, I Can Only Take Note Of Where Hes Been

YEAH, sort of ! on the main, iguanamouth, i have a bunch of different tags for art depending on what they are but not really a catchall one, BUT i do have an art only blog where everything gets tossed over ! 

HONESTLY THE ADVICE i got is basically what all art advice is gonna boil down to eventually - you gotta just. do it. you gotta DO it

absolutely nobody you know who draws things well started out at the level theyre currently at, and putting down the things youre visualizing onto paper is a combination of getting the the technical aspects down as much as getting the idea in your head

and that goes with figuring out anatomy and how bodies are put together ! ive got to use references for a Million things,. especially the dragon hoards - theres absolutely nothing wrong with using references for your drawings ! and being able to create accurate representations of things without looking is something that comes more with drawing something over and over and memorizing the body shape more than just, feeling like you should KNOW how to do something

so dont beat yourself up for needing references. if youre trying to shy away from them a little bit but still cant make something look nice without em, try using several different reference photos to put together an entirely different pose ? 

theres ALSO the SHRIMP METHOD, which is great for practicing and getting good at one particular thing - this probably isnt SUPER HELPFUL but good luck ! 

god i tried. exactly ONCE maybe fourish years ago but it wasnt art, i was trying to stream the lion king movie and i had no idea what i was doing, i didnt realize i needed to wear headphones so the sound wouldnt snowball into a feedback loop of my own voice that never ended but i kept laughing and it kept distorting worse and worse, like the audio version of saving and resaving something as a jpeg

it was just me and my friend ronni in the stream and ONE other person who never left and never said anything and i kept addressing them out loud like WHO ARE YOU and that only compounded the noise problem and eventually i gave up

anyway i havent tried since

i uhhhhh dont think i COULD, really - fear especially is something thats kind of subjective and one persons Big Terror could be neutral or even cute to another person

like for me i used to have a lot of childhood fears about the ocean, and how deep and dark and vast it was, to the point where i couldnt play a lot of water levels in video games, even ( but i had almost drowned several times when i was Very young which probably had, a little somethin to do with that )

maybe sometime ill try to explore things IM afraid of, but its hard to encompass a psychological response in an image !! could be a fun experiment, though ! !

a few PLANT ANIMAL AZKZ, HUH, DONT HAVE A WORKING Z KEY

SHIT DUDE THESE ARE... SO GOOD thats the official name EVEN IF i didnt use. a daffodil as the flower base. it doesnt matter 

yes

i got A BUNCH of flower and plant themed suggestions and theyre all REALLY GOOD ( way more than these ) but straight up im taking a break from em for a while - if anybody is else is reading this though you should definitely tackle one of em

WASABI ASKS

Do Not Feed Animals The Paste

i keep going back to read this ask because you could replace wasabi with my name and its the exact same. its the same. i feel like i have to hide somewhere

this was real and this is the award they gave us

there were other awards but the judges refused to give them out. they burned them in front of the other dogs. we won

it depends on the age ! wasabis pretty much an adult, so her sheds are pretty infrequent ( usually once every 7-8 months ) BUT when she was still growing back like 6 years ago, she would do a full-body shed every other month !

wasabi accepts tokens of appreciation in the form of : fruit, green beans. No Exceptions

i would never seperate wasabi from her hands

absolutely..... not. not even a little bit h h hh a this isnt a disney animal companion, i dont even know what “kind of like a dog” means with , a lizard who cant make any vocalizations or get up on their hind legs or NOTHIN sometimes if i hold a piece of fruit on my hand and she reaches for it she gets confused on whats what and tries to bite my fingers instead

ONCE WHEN SHE was attacking her reflection in a mirror i put my hand in front of her face to break eye contact and she SUNK HER TEETH RIGHT IN THERE but immediately let go like “oh whoops”

lissten . . .  wasabi is so sharp, just absolutely everywhere, and these are the sharpest. the grabbers

heres a lil battle damage from earlier today actually

this is pretty tame BUT the long long lines are from claws, and the thinner, closer together ones are from holding her and her scales scraping against the skin. so not even just the Body is completely safe ! this is not an animal youre gonna wanna get your face real close to if theyre in a walkin mood

she doesnt even MEAN to scratch the shit outta me, its just kind of a byproduct of being a big tree lizard. her tail is absolutely the worst thing to get hit by though. the WORST. lucky me she doesnt attack anything that isnt a dog or a vacuum cleaner or her own reflection

ahhh i got her when i was 16 ! and i dont know her exact age but she was somewhere between 3-6 months when i get her - SHES probably closer to 9 years, but ive had her for about 8

LENGTH THOUGH...... the last time i measured her she was just barely under four and a half feet, but that was a few months ago and its possible shes. Just Slightly larger. shes currently sleeping as i type this so i guess we will never know

duel me

too late for coats..... its all tail action now

ROCK ASKS AND ALSO ASKS ABOUT PUTTING ROCKS IN YOUR MOUTH

oh MAN i feel you . . . . . . . . . . i dont think i could actually Bear To Eat any for real but some of em. just. they. i gotta. just. bite on em a LITTLE just a little bit, a tiny bit, a nibble

when i was real young i used to tap things against my teeth to tell what kind of substance they were made of based on the feeling/hardness/density WHATEVER and i still sometimes do it when im checking stuff out and. it uhhhhh sure is interesting finding out not a lot of people did that

a handful of these delicious raw agates, just for you

please stop spying on me

i DO NOT but you may eat this piece of bornite

meet me at the airport and ill cover your bus fair

theres a lotta different ways to figure out what kind of rocks you got but when you have absolutely no clue on where to start your best bet is to search for the biggest distinctive features of it, and try to narrow it down based on the results

like for something like these pieces of chalcedony, you could try “waxy green translucent mineral”, and from the search results find a few candidates that might be what you have on hand, and then look into each one to see if you can get a definite answer 

ive got a handful of rock and mineral guide books that i always pick through whenever i snag something im not sure of, and if youre REAL into it those are always something you could start keeping an eye out for 

now this is a REAL superficial way to telling what something is and wont be useful for a good chunk of minerals ( as a lot of samples can look really close to something else ) and THIS is a much more in depth way of telling something apart, but its also a lot more time consuming ! so good luck. and good eating.

Just Try And Fucking Stop Me

ANIMAL ASKS THAT ARENT............ ABOUT MY LIZARD

im married to this one actually

fuck. ok. heres. a secret. a In the ask Post secret. wasabi goes through a period that lasts a month every single year where she carries eggs in her gut, and spends that month not eating and digging around in everything, trying to find the right spot to lay these eggs. and. when it happens i never know what to do with them, and i dont want to just THROW THEM AWAY so i. eat them. i eat the eggs. i fuckin eat the eggs dude

Theyre All Goddesses

unless you plan on having your lizard roam around outside whenever they want, the outside environment doesnt really matter much for most reptiles as long as you set their habitat up right ! BUT i do know that australia has bans on certain reptiles ( iguanas are one of them ) and so youre gonna have to look up whats actually available in that area 

 bearded dragons are native and those are always a good option, but so are a lot of geckos - its really gonna depend on what youre into ( but i dont really recommend anoles if thats an option, because theyre fast as Hell and dont like being handled )

what the fuck is a bee

oh geez im sorry ! i remember going through this with spiders a lot when i was younger to the point where looking at photos of em used to be a fuckin, TRIAL 

you could try a really gradual exposure deal, where you start off with getting comfortable with just images, and slowly working your way to dealing with one in a controlled setting ( like a petstore, maybe ? not HANDLING em or anything, but just being near one in a way where its absolutely impossible for them to touch you )

the shitty thing about this kind of phobia is that even if you KNOW its irrational theres sometimes not a lot you can do about it, but if you can stand looking at photos of them you could try learning up about them, and finding out the types of species youre likely to encounter around your house, and seeing how many ( if any ) are ones you should avoid ?

i know some people that have major problems with snakes are because theyre unsure if the ones they find are poisonous or not, and it might go a long way to confirm that the reptiles you meet wont be able to harm you even if they TRIED ( which is gonna be the case with a lotta house geckos, they cant do SHIT youre a GIANT )

very VERY few lizards have venomous bites, and the worst most of em can do is give you a bloody finger if theyre large enough, and even then its usually not much worse than a cat scratch !

still though, if youre really serious about trying to get past this, dont force yourself too quick into what you think you SHOULD be, and take tiny steps outta your comfort level when you can

this probably isnt uhhh SUPER helpful hh hhah but good luck !  shit im going through this post and its like ALL reptile photos. im sorry

i feel about them, with my hands

MMM it shouldnt HURT them unless theres something Really wrong, considering its a natural procession of growth, BUT its definitely itchy as hell, to the point where reptiles trying to remove it will drag their bodies over stones or walls tryin to get it off

sometimes wasabi drags her whole hind foot over her head like a dog to get it off and it is. a Sight

ahhh honestly there arent a lotta reptiles thatre gonna do much more than TOLERATE the touch and not really, enjoy it, like a dog or cat or bird

but speaking from experience with wasabi, youll probably want to avoid most the head and stick with the top of the back near the sides - wasabi doesnt enjoy having her tail messed with much either, but shes ok with her dewlap and feet being touched

the most important thing to keep an eye out for when youre touching one is their body language, because  THATS gonna be a dead giveaway for whether you need to back off or not

closing their eyes is a sign of stress, not enjoyment ! same with tilting the head back, but if thats ALL theyre doing then youre probably not gonna face any retaliation

B U T if theyve got an extended dewlap with a raised body or tail off the ground, not a good idea to interact with em ! thats a defensive posture, and you risk getting hit with a tail or even bitten if your hand gets too close

youve got more to risk with males, who are way more territorial and generally larger, but if they seem pretty chill when you approach and dont stand up and stare at you, youre probably in the clear

COCK of the ROCK

I HAVE im so jealous of anybody whos got to see one in person - actually handling one is a level beyond that which i could even comprehend

OTHER THINGS.....

no but i was bit by a pigeon once

this is the only joke i know

i fuckin WISH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ayy im into it - honestly i havent been following the band so much as just kinda, picking up whatever anybody else mentions and so my knowledge on Gorillaz Lore is pretty uhhhh h hh h scattered but im definitely interested in seeing where this goes

i remember watching the first and second season and it being pretty good - some of the episodes and jokes are hit and miss but you absolutely got me with the creature and alien design

havent seen any of the third season yet though !

i mean the fruit ones could be pretty up there 

how bout. an abstract concept. who cares about physical forms wheres the dragon of melancholy 

why come theres nothing to eat in my apartment but bread. im good otherwise but its all just bread

i havent watched either of em in YEARS and YEARS but i distinctly remember. these lil dancing mushrooms

oh wait FUCK 

FUCK !!!!!!!!!

no... NO.... she is not allowed to eat ANYTHING from the plan shelf, try as she MIGHT

im a little mad that this sill isnt bigger because the only other one that gets sun is in my room and wasabi WIll... absolutely eat those. no doubt. a convenient and expensive salad, for my awful gremlin 

god im looking at these and its all jade plants isnt it

little golden books taste the best but they can make you sick if you have too many at once. my favorite genre for snacking is sci fi fantasy but anything over 300 pages tends to get a little tough if you dont break it up with smaller chunks. non fictions always a gamble because the taste is wildly different each time but you can usually tell how ripe it is by the cover color

ayy im already a big fan of some of their stuff, ive got a couple songs from them in my music tag - im especially into i miss you and their shut up and bring it here remix

TOP FIVE THINGS

1

2

3

4

5

this is barely related but once i filled up a bathtub with water and then dumped about ten bags worth of mint tea into it and then just. soaked around in the tea. listen it was really nice. id try the cheese

i dont have any ships but i was on one of those model pirate boats once for a school trip. our boat was named naruto and the other one was named sasuke and the captains shouted “make them kiss” and ran them into each other. everybody on board drowned

youre trying to trick me into googling yoshi without shoes and its not going to work

me reading this message from the safety of my apartment :

nice try, but wrong again ! : )

THIS IS GOOD info, thank you

oh SHIT the other side of paradise, take a slice, life itself, and season 2 episode 3 are all my Big Faves

the way you phrased this makes me think you already have a strong opinion on it

hey uh. coming from a person who was absolutely CONVINCED that theyd be dead in the future when they were 12, a not insignificant part of that was me feeling that there was something irreversibly wrong with me for not behaving or acting in certain ways based on what was going downstairs

and obviously im still HERE but it means i can understand how devastatingly terrible it can feel when youre that young and it seems like the way you behave and feel are flawed, or dirty, and anything that can lessen that feeling and make you comfortable in your own body is huge, can save your life

not that im saying its always a LIFE OR DEATH decision !

i guess if youre viewing it as adults forcing a child into making decisions that you dont think theyre capable of understanding its easy to be hesitant about getting behind it, but nobody is forcing a child to be trans. nobody has tricked them into feeling this way. you cant just walk in and get started on treatment on an immediate whim - some programs require 2 YEARS of concrete evidence before theyll even consider it

i feel like you should try speaking to the parents of trans children before you really put down a concrete opinion on whether this is a good or bad thing, and seeing the difference ( if any ) its made in their lives 

people whove detransitioned, or found they had ultimately a different identity than the one they were exploring could also be an avenue to look intto ! i have several acquaintances who, after a period of years, found they werent trans but wouldnt take back the time where they were figuring out if they were, and i know this doesnt invalidate the friends i have who ARE 

ultimately this is what it boils down to for me : Its Sure Gotta Beat Being Dead

i WILL give you that ive definitely seen a lot of overreactions to seemingly innocuous topics on this website

but youve also got to keep in mind that everybody who is saying these things MEANS them, and to them theres a completely reasonable explanation to why they feel that way

im not saying you should blindly accept any criticism you get, but to instead try to get a grasp on WHY theyre responding the way they are instead of immediately dismissing it

its because i cant drive and they wont let me sit in the front on account of the smell

NICE THINGS

AHHHH I GOT.. a bunch of other really sweet messages to the point where id feel weird about putting em ALL UP BUT... IF YOU SENT ME SOMETHING i can promise i absolutely saw it and it made my day better and just, holy shit, thank you for taking time out of your life to say anything to me at all

because you didnt have to, even a little bit

youre all beautiful and im kissing you on the mouths all at once. no take backs

[lumiolivier]

Chapter Fourteen:  Follow the Post-Its

Word Count:  4022

Chapter No. 14/36

Notes:  This chapter kind of takes some weird twists and turns.  Just a side note.  Any and all feedback would be appreciated, too, by the way...

Chapter Thirteen:  Meet Me on the High Dive

Another morning to begin at four-thirty.  Oddly enough, I was completely prepared to go back to Julian’s and make him Russell again. However, when my phone beeped, it wasn’t my usual alarm beep.  It was Sebastian saying “a letter from the queen, my lord” and that only played when I got a text message.  A part of me wanted to ignore it, but the screen was too bright.

 Stay in bed, Mimi.  I got this.

Julian

 Bless this boy.  I needed that extra half hour of sleep. Even though this half hour would last an entire hour.  And I’d have almost no time to get ready.  I did a quick skim through my closet.  Who was I yesterday?  Ciel Phantomhive.  Did I want to do Black Butler two days in a row?  I kind of wanted to make myself Grell Sutcliff, but opting against it.  Instead, I’d be Lucy Heartfilia of Fairy Tail.  Lucy’s a doll and I loved her.

 And she was so easy to casually cosplay.  All it took was a white tank top, my long, loose, chiffon skirt in the brightest blue to ever exist, a brown braided belt, and some keys to go around my neck.  And some black boots, too.  Granted, I had found some casual cosplay online that suggested jute wedges, but I liked the boots better.  They were more Lucy.  I put half of my hair up in a ponytail, tying it with a blue bow, did a bit of brown eyeliner and some brown mascara and I was out the door.  Damn, I looked cute!

 I got to the café in the nick of time.  Never in my life had I ever been that almost late.  Sure enough, though, standing behind the counter was Russell waiting for me. Shit, Julian did a nice job.  For not playing with special effects makeup often, he was a natural.  I don’t think he even realized I had come in yet.  He was still making sure everything in the pastry case was perfectly aligned. Obsessive compulsive, maybe? Going by his closet, I wouldn’t dispute it, but something tells me bringing up any mental illness isn’t a good idea with him.

 “Good morning, Russell,” I chimed, giving him a hand, straightening the tables.

 “Ah, Miss Heartfilia!” Julian sang out, tossing me my apron, “Good morning!  Enjoy that extra half hour I was so kind to give you?”

 “Oh yeah,” I nodded, blushing a little,” So much that I thought I’d extend it.  And when I say a little, I mean I doubled it on accident.”

 “Mimi,” he scolded, “I’m disappointed in you.  You shall be flogged at dawn.”

 “Is that a promise?” I shot him a wink.

 “That is sexual harassment in the workplace,” Julian gasped, “You’re two for two this morning.  That extra half hour must have done something.”

 “You’re the one that mentioned the flogging,” I threw my hands up, “You started it.  I finished it.”

 “Fair enough.”

 “Now,” I stared a hole through him, “Here it is, a Saturday morning.”

 “We should turn some cartoons on,” Julian suggested, “There’s a TV in here, right?”

 “Yeah,” I nodded, “Nice attempt at a diversion.”

 “I aim to please.”

 “So,” I asked, “What’s the reasoning for my free Saturday night?”

 “You’ll find out tonight,” Julian shut me down, “Hey, Kyle!  You got the rest of the cinnamon rolls frosted or did you beer bong the frosting again?”

 “I got it, Julian,” Kyle came out with a tray on his arm.

 “Kyle,” I squeaked, “You’re here on time.  And weirdly productive.  Julian, what did you do to him?”

 “I have good news,” Kyle announced, “I quit.”

 “Quit what?” I wondered, looking in his eyes.  His oddly clear eyes, “Kyle, are you straight right now?”

 “Crystal clear.”

 “I’m so proud of you!” I threw my arms around him.

 “Thanks, Mimi,” Kyle gave me a look, “Is this what you’re going to be like from now on?”

 “Every day,” I promised, “I will never bitch at you again.”

 “Because I won’t be giving you a reason to?”

 “That’s right,” I nodded, “So, what made you stop?”

 “I woke up in the kitchen around two this morning,” he explained, “I was covered in frosting and some kind of jelly.  I don’t know how I got here.  My dealer laced my last batch without me knowing and I came here to come down, I think. Not fun.”

 “Scared you straight?” I assumed.

 “Yep,” Kyle confirmed, “Never again.”

 “Good for you, sweetie,” I praised, “You need anything, let either me or Julian know, ok?”

 “I will.”

 “Hold on,” Julian stepped in, “Since when does Julian not have a say in whether he’s available for that kind of thing or not?”

 “Since Mimi said so,” I put my foot down, “Come on, Julian.  You can do that, can’t you?”

 “Of course I can.”

 “It’s settled then!” I chirped as the bell at the door dinged, “Boys, get to work.”

 “Well-oiled machine, Mimi,” Mr. Griffin joined us, “Nicely handled.”

 “Thank you, sir.” Maybe this was going to be a rare good day.

 “Hey, Mr. Griffin,” Julian caught his attention, “I have to bow out of work early today.  Is that ok?”

 “Sure,” he allowed, “What for?”

 “I have a thing,” Julian explained, “It’s kind of a special, delicate thing.”

 “You can tell me, Russell,” Mr. Griffin assured, “What is it?”

 “It tickled me when Griffin called him Russell.  Julian’s name wasn’t Russell.  But I listened anxiously, “Yeah, Russell.  What’s the special, delicate thing?”

 “I have to go to the clinic, ok?” he murmured.

 “Is everything ok?” Mr. Griffin worried while I knew damn well he was lying through his teeth.

 “Booster shot…” Julian kept his voice down, “I got a call from this girl the other day…And I usually get pretty dizzy after shots, so I’m going to be rendered useless.  My appointment’s at three.”

 “Oh,” Mr. Griffin cringed while I did all I could to keep myself from rolling my eyes, “I’m not going to ask.  What you do in your down time is your own business.”

 “Thank you for understanding,” he put on a hell of a performance.  I had to give him that much.

 “Make me proud!” Mr. Griffin turned on his heel and started heading out the door.

 “Hey, boss!” Julian stopped him, “Since it’s Saturday and the news is so depressing, do you mind if I put on some cartoons?”

 “Why would we have cartoons on?”

 “A lot of moms come in here on Saturdays with their kids,” he pointed out, “Something to keep their screaming to a minimum.”

 “Capital idea!” he approved, “Go ahead.  See you Monday!”

 As soon as the boss left, Julian jumped the counter and thumbed through the channels.  I turned around and grabbed the open sign, “Well played, Julian.  Well played.”

 “You like how I did that?” he grinned from ear to ear, “Like a fiddle.”

 “You don’t have an appointment, do you?”

 “Nope.”

 “Then, what do you have to leave early for?” I wondered, “If it’s not for a booster shot.”

 “It’s because of a girl, though,” Julian told, “So, I wasn’t completely lying.  I have to take care of some things.  Run some errands.  Oh, hell yeah!”

 “What?”

 “It’s six o'clock!” he sang along with the TV, “Fighting evil by moonlight!  Winning love by daylight!  Never running from a real fight!  She is the one named Sailor Moon!”

 “Oh my God!” I squealed, “Yes!  That was one of my favorites when I was younger!”

 “Every otaku had to start somewhere,” Julian was just as excited as me, “I got so much shit for liking Sailor Moon.  Why do you like a girl show so much?  Because magical girls are awesome!  And magical girls that kick ass like the Sailor Scouts are even better!”

 “And being born when I was,” my eyes were glued to the TV, “either got their introduction to anime from Pokémon or Sailor Moon.”

 “What about Digimon?”

 I glared daggers through Julian’s soul, “How dare you come into my house and disrespect me?”

 “I was joking,” he settled me, “Digimon didn’t really do much for me either.”

 “I remember coming home from school,” I got nostalgic, “I got off the bus.  Four o'clock rolled around.  My ass was in front of the TV watching Sailor Moon.”

 “I didn’t get to discover Sailor Moon that way,” he told, “Gather ‘round, kids.  Uncle Julian’s about to tell a story.”

 “You’re not my uncle,” I giggled a bit, “But go on.”

 “After my parents split,” he spun the tale, “I ended up around a lot of strong women.  My grandma and my aunt had to put my mom back together. She was kind of touch and go for a while.  But nonetheless, my mom had fallen in love with the art style of manga and anime and she wanted to duplicate it.  And that led to her finding Sailor Moon.  Of course, I was usually right by her side, so we ended up watching it together.  One day, she had gotten a little emotional after a date gone horrible.  Little Julian crawled up on his mommy’s lap and told her that one day, she’d find her Tuxedo Mask.”

 “Julian,” I got a little emotional myself, “Can I hug you?”

 “You have to ask?” he squeezed me tight, “Even then, I was adorable.”

 Yeah.  This asshole was making it really hard not to fall in love with him.  Before Julian could see them, I wiped the tears out of my eyes, “We should probably get to work.”

 “Probably,” Julian changed the channel, “The warm, fuzzy childhood memories were nice while they lasted.”

 I started taking orders and Julian made them as we went along.  The two of us ran the hell out of this little café dead center of BFE.  It was only a matter of time before the hipsters in Kansas City started making the twenty-minute trip here.  Sure, we were good, but we weren’t that good.  Then again, on that same token, Julian did go that same twenty minutes to get us bento boxes.  Regardless, we had things well handled here.  And to make my day even better, a sweet, little face popped up at the front counter with her boyfriend on her heels.

 “Hi, Mimi!” Veronica sang.

 “Hey, Mimi,” Luke matched his girlfriend’s enthusiasm.

 “Hi, guys,” I beamed, “What brings you two in here?”

 “It’s lunchtime on a Saturday afternoon,” Veronica said, “Do we need another reason?”

 “Usual order then?” I assumed.

 “You know us all too well,” Luke confirmed.

 “You two are creatures of habit,” I punched their order in, “Julian!”

 “Yes, Mimi?” he sang back to me.

 “Get me a chicken spinach wrap and a BLT,” I requested, “I can get their coffee orders.”

 “Hi, Veronica,” Julian chirped.

 “Julian?” Veronica gave me a look, “I thought you said his name was Russell.”

 “It is Julian,” I confessed, “But remember?  He’s incognito?”

 “That’s right,” her lightbulb turned on.

 “So, that’s Julian?” Luke looked over my shoulder, “That’s the guy?”

 “That’s the guy,” Veronica nodded.

 “Hold on,” I stopped them both, “What are you two going on about?”

 “When you were at Julian’s,” Veronica said, “Ten minutes after we got off the phone, Luke came over. I had to tell someone!”

 “Guess this is a small town,” Julian grabbed their food from the window, “I didn’t realize I’d be the shiny toy around here.”

 “Just wait until the Red Hats meet you,” Veronica grinned.

 “The Red Hats?” Julian gave me a look.

 “They’re a group of older ladies,” I clarified, “They’re like book club, only instead of wanting to bang you senseless, the Red Hats just want to feed you until you can’t move and send you cards on your birthday with three dollars in them.”

 “Aww,” Julian clutched his chest, “Flattered.  They just want to be grandma.  I love them already!  Old ladies are so cute.”

 “Yeah,” I smiled, “They are. Especially the local Red Hats. They’re precious.  If you’re lucky, when Christmas rolls around, they’ll knit you booties.”

 “Seriously?” I had never seen Julian’s face light up so much.  I was waiting for sparkles to start forming around him, “I want to actively meet these women.”

 “You’ll find them at bingo on Tuesdays at the First Christian Church,” Veronica directed him, taking hers and Luke’s respective coffee orders.

 “I need me some of them booties,” Julian got all excited.

 “Dial it back, Julian,” I settled him, “You’ll give yourself a nosebleed.”

 “You’re the only one that gets nosebleeds at work.” Shots fired.

 “Hey!”

 “Did you not?”

 “Yeah…”

 “Score one for me!” Julian chalked up a point for himself.  And to think I was falling for this dork.

 “Well,” Veronica tweeted, “We’re off.  See you later!”

 She and Luke skipped out the door and I was left with the baby at heart.  But not for long.  I couldn’t get a thing out of him all day about whatever he had planned for tonight. And I was completely clueless.  I only wanted to know what Julian’s scheme was. Was that too much to ask?  Any time I’d bring it up, he’d just yell at me. How the hell am I supposed to let things happen when they’re happening regardless?  I had no control over them!

 “Wish me luck,” Julian crossed his fingers, “Here’s to no more gonorrhea.”

 “You don’t have gonorrhea, you moron,” I rolled my eyes, “And don’t say that too loud!  We have customers!”

 “I wouldn’t be calling me a moron if I were you,” he warned.

 “Go get your booster shot,” I shoved him, “And run your errands and do whatever it is you need to do.”

 “Yes, ma’am!” Julian threw his apron back under the register and left me with Kyle.  What were you planning, Julian?  I didn’t know if he was the type for the grand gesture or the type for the little things.  Or even worse.  The type for both.  I was going to work myself up into another nosebleed over this.  The anticipation had a stranglehold on me!

 Although it felt like an eternity had passed, six o'clock had finally rolled around and the magic of closing time washed over the café.  Now, I could see why I had to keep my Saturday open.  Whatever it was, I hoped we wouldn’t be out too late.  Julian and I were still doing Death Note shots in the morning. We needed poses and scenarios.  I never took pictures before.  I just made my cosplays for something to feel cute in while I was watching whatever series.  That means…Eww…I had to be Misa tomorrow.  There goes my IQ.  

 When I got in my car, I had found a pastel green post-it note on my steering wheel.  Be still, my pastel addicted heart.  I was a sucker for the lighter colored things in life. Call it weird.  Call it a curse.  I loved them.  The post-it looked so sweet and sugary and I loved it!

 So, it wasn’t a booster shot.

 No shit, Sherlock.  I could’ve told you that.  I had to be a complete idiot to think Julian had a doctor’s appointment.  He even told me he didn’t!  Alright. If this was how he was going to do this, I guess I had to follow the post-it notes.  I guess I could chalk that one up to being adorable.  I still held my firm belief that Julian was a giant dork, but I’m pretty sure that wasn’t changing any time soon.

 Once I got home, a pastel purple post-it waited for me.  This time, instead of the gold letters like the first one, these were silver:  

 Welcome home, my lady.

 I wasn’t sure what he was trying to get at here, but I’m sure it’ll all make sense in the end. However, for now, it was confusing the shit out of me.  I unzipped my boots and left them at the door.  Huh.  Empty house. I went into the kitchen and found a note on the counter from my mom saying that she and Dad were going to be gone until Tuesday.  Cool. House to myself.  Run around in my undies.  Fun weekend for me!

 At the foot of the stairs, right on the wall was a light blue post-it now.  Oh, Julian.  You’ve outdone yourself, haven’t you?  His gold sharpie must have died on him.  This one was written in silver, too:

 Lovely day at work?

 He’d know.  He works there, too.  This was going from cute to creepy really quick.  And the post-its kept on coming as the purple notes lined the staircase, alternating sides.

 You had a hard day.

 You deserve to relax a little.

 Or maybe…

 You’d like an evening out?

 Julian, what did you do? A light pink post-it was stuck to my bedroom door.  And the gold letters came back.

 Ah, yes.  The bedroom. Go on.  Relax a little.  You worked hard today.  You deserve it.

 Ok.  This was officially into weird territory.  I kept checking my phone, thinking Julian would’ve texted me eventually.  Nope. Nothing.  No text.  No phone call.  Nothing but pastel pieces of paper stuck all over my house.  Another green one was stuck to my computer monitor.

 No, no, Mistress.  Not there. Why don’t you try checking your closet?

 I couldn’t believe I was taking orders from a damn post-it note.  Mistress?  I opened my closet doors, hoping for a little more clarity.  But instead, I got a blue note on the bar.

 Notice anything missing?

 Immediately, my brain went for my underwear drawer.  I didn’t think Julian was a creepy pervert, but one could never be too careful.  Was he weird enough to steal my underpants?  I didn’t understand why he would.  It’s not like we slept together, so he couldn’t keep them as a souvenir.  And he really didn’t strike me as the type to wear ladies’ underwear.  But of course, he was one step ahead of me.  This time, in the form of a yellow note.

 Really?  Did you really think I was that disturbed?  Honestly, my lady, I’m disappointed.  Go back through your closet.  I’m sure you’ll find it.  Or won’t, in this case.

 I kept digging through my closet, wondering what the hell Julian was talking about.  And why he was wording these notes so strangely.  My closet may have been chaotic, but it was organized chaos.  I had my system.  Sorted by series, but not much else.  Maybe Julian was being uncharacteristically clever.  We were doing our Death Note shoot tomorrow.  Maybe there’d be a note on Misa.

 Dammit.  Nothing.  And my Misa cosplay was still there.  He said there’d be something missing.  I looked through my accessories, my wigs, my props.  Still nothing.  Until I noticed my Black Butler cosplays seemed a bit thin.  Staring me right in the face was a note on my Grell Sutcliff. I knew exactly what was missing.

 If you’re looking for the young master’s dress.  You won’t find it here.  Perhaps at Julian’s?  He did say pink was his color.

 Alright.  Now, it was getting personal.  Julian stole my Ciel dress.  And its coordinates!  What the fuck, man?  I put a lot of love into this project.  I put a pair of black flats on and drove over to Julian’s.  His car wasn’t there, but I was greeted by yet another post-it note. What a fucking surprise…He took my Ciel. How dare he?  Also, how did he get into my house?  Unless he got there before Mom and Dad left.  At least, I hope so.

 So, you are listening to me.  In that case, you will, in fact, find the young master’s dress in the bedroom. You needn’t worry, Mistress.  He’s not home right now.  Just be sure to lock the door when you leave.  I can do many things from a distance, but locking doors isn’t one of them.

 I opened this idiot’s front door and went inside.  By the looks of things, he hadn’t been here in a while.  Nothing seemed amiss.  Although, it did look like he got some more unpacking done since I was last here. This place was starting to look like home.  Good for you, Julian.  I found a post-it on the wall by his katanas.  I’m sure he was intending this to be fun, but it’s almost starting to piss me off.

 By the way, have you figured out who I am yet?

 Wait a minute…Were these not Julian?  I didn’t know what his handwriting looked like and I could’ve sworn he was the one doing all this.  Now, it went from cute to creepy to downright terrifying.  I didn’t know if I was being stalked.  I didn’t know if Julian was ok.  I didn’t know if whoever had him tied up in their basement, dripping hot candlewax on his back or doing some weird Silence of the Lambs shit.  

 The best thing to do at this point was to see this through to the end.  Maybe if I comply, Julian will be ok.  I’ll be ok.  And we’ll get off easy.  I found Ciel’s dress on Julian’s bed with another note on it.

 I want you to get dressed for me.  Everything else you will need is in the bathroom.

 This was giving me a really uneasy feeling.  I dropped my skirt around my ankles and took my tank top off, lacing up my corset.  If only I had Sebastian here to tighten it for me. Mmm…I could hear him now…Please hold on a little longer…Mmm…Now wasn’t the time to be thinking about that.  now was the time to not panic and keep a level head.

 I went into Julian’s bathroom and found my corkscrew pigtails on the counter.  I ran a quick braid through my hair and went from blond do dark gray in almost seconds.  I had to admit.  I looked real adorable when I cosplayed Ciel.  Even when I’m not Ciel crossdressing, I made a really cute Ciel.  The post-it wasn’t lying.  Everything was here.  From my wig to my eyepatch to my lashes.  I finished getting ready and found another couple post-its on the bathroom door.

 My, my.  Positively stunning, Mistress.  Then again, I should expect nothing less from you.  And after your struggle with that corset…Ahem.  Excuse me. Whenever you’re ready, go to the park. I’ll be waiting for you at the gazebo. Please be careful and make sure you’re wearing your seatbelt.

 Huh.  A stalker with a concern for my safety and gives little boosts to my ego.  Ok.  This was starting to get kind of cute again.  These damn post-its have been such a roller coaster. First, I think they’re Julian.  Then, they’re not Julian.  But that last one sounded like something he’d say to me. Especially that last part.  I got in my car and headed toward the park.

 A part of me was still debating whether or not to go through with this.  I may have been walking right into a trap, but I didn’t have any enemies. And I didn’t use my real name when I posted fan fiction.  I was smart and picked a pen name.  They just called me by my username.  Nobody on the internet knows that SenshiTenshi’s name is actually Mimi. And that was to keep the creepy stalker types away.  Some of my readers could probably hack like a mother fucker.  I’d be ok.  If all else fails, I can bite really hard.

 I sat in the parking lot by the playground for a minute or two with the gazebo just on the other side of the tree line.  It was kind of tucked away in the woods near the pond.  Very serene.  A perfect place to kill someone or skin me alive and keep wearing my skin as their skin, wondering how long it would take my relatives to notice it wasn’t me.  I was going to be ok.  I got out of the car and found one more note stuck to the swing set.

 Do you remember telling me your ideal man?

 I guess it was time to meet my stalker.