#maybe if i keep word vomiting I wont feel so much

[allmannerofmalady]

Disgustingly long ramble about Dragon Age, love letter to my Inquisitor and... idk anymore

Ok so apparently, I can become so attached to a game/story that I can develop post-game depression... without even finishing the game?! At my ripe old age??

After 35ish hours in Veilguard, I realized I wasn't happy with how I was feeling, and more superficially, how my Inquisitor turned out and it was breaking all kinds of immersion for me 🤡 I played around with the character creator a bunch and then just closed the game and haven't restarted it since, and that was 4 days ago. I think that says a lot about why I was playing - I was playing to wrap up Inquisition.

I have a thirst to ramble, so a lot of Dragon Age (and a touch of Baldur's Gate 3) talk ahead. Spoilers, I guess?

The things I'm disappointed about with DATV haven't faded with time like I hoped they would. But, I will say that I’m also starting to get very emotional about the Solavellan ending which I was not a fan of when I first saw the spoiler. Whoever posted the flycam footage of the ending on Twitter, thank you!! It soothed my sad little heart.

My feelings aside, I'm happy for people who are fully immersed and enjoying the game, and I was truly hoping to be in that camp immediately :')

DA2 was my first Dragon Age game, and I love the shit out of it and that merry band of misfits. Marianne Hawke, the woman that you are. DA:O is one of my favourite games of all time as well - when I can get it to run because it always crashes on me.

But DA:I, for all its faults, just hit something very personal for me. I have played it for countless hours, been continuously immersed, and I have leaned on it a lot during crappier periods of my life. The things people hated about it (the Hinterlands, fetch quests etc) I found almost... relaxing? Meditative? I used mods to fix banter issues and would just roam, always changing my companions out to get that extra bit of dialogue and lore.

I know it has its issues and the combat annoys a lot of people, I was kind of indifferent about it, but to be fair I always play a Rogue/archer in DA , so I can't speak too deeply about the other classes. Once I discovered guides and videos about the best gear to craft, the best paths for leveling up, my Inquisitor was a beaaaast and I did enjoy the combat, as simplistic as it may be. Again - truly my comfort game.

I replayed DA:I in the months leading up to DATV, with my beloved canon Lavellan Inquisitor, Solas romanced, the whole journey. It was my first DA playthrough after 700+ hours spent in Baldur's Gate 3, and I remember the thrill at having a voiced protag again - for all the stilted moments (it's a feature atp with DA games) my Inquisitor still feels so real to me, especially after playing a voiceless Tav for so long. Yeah, even the infamous "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE" lololol

I just truly fell in love with the character I HC throughout the years, and I really really love the companions. Even the pricklier ones. I loved the intrigue, the politics - whatever, I loved it. Warts and all. The overwhelming lore that I learned piece by piece over 3 games, through codex entries and novels and art books and comics.

The DATV discourse has somehow become even more draining. It's hard to have a genuine discussion when trying to speak above the incessant bile being spewed by bigots who are hating the game blindly and are going out of their way to hurt anyone who enjoyed it, was excited about it, reviewed it - the vitriol is insane. Then came the waves of actual fans loving it, being disappointed, hating it, hating others for loving it, vice versa... and it goes on. Which I guess kind of happens every BioWare release lol but the 10 year gap feels like it's exacerbated everything.

I'm not even going to try and parse through my heartbreak at the dissolution of the Keep, player choices, and what DATV puts forward as happening in Southern Thedas. I have read the discourse, I have heard those who support it - and I just cant pretend to be ok with it. Months before DATV came out, I put together a slideshow of Chantry-level propaganda to convince my BG3 co-op friends to give DA a chance (heheeee) and one of the reasons I hooked them was that CHOICES MATTERED. Your world state mattered, the lore was incredibly rich, it was your story, and was such a key feature of BioWare games that even when other negative feelings might fade, I just don't see myself letting go of that one.

As for the Solavellan side of things... I think that most people who love Solas (myself firmly in that camp) are very attached to the character and the storyline, especially if they chose to romance him. He's just an endlessly fascinating character, and he will forever be iconic to me and part of my video game/fantasy pantheon - romanced or not. The first time I played Trespasser, I was blown away by the magnitude of the revelations, it felt like a Greek myth being played out. The burdened Inquisitor, the hand that led them to glory starting to kill them, the trickster God, once a trusted companion/lover. Euuuuufff I have never gotten over it, and after my, quite frankly, extreme emotional reaction the last few weeks I don't think I ever will.

I don't know if any ending would have filled the gap of the 10 year wait, to be fair. A game full of Solavellan scenes and dialogue would have been bitterly unfair/ridiculous for those who had different stories and relationships in their game. I am pleasantly surprised we got a scene (for a moment there, I was starting to lose hope), but again, I sorely wish it was fleshed out, on par with the Crestwood scene, or the magnificent climax of Trespasser. I think it took the flycam footage and Trick Weeke's Q&A on Bluesky for me to start to see past the disappointment and enjoy the scene for what was (I'm ignoring the Varric in the room and lots of other things rn, thanks for asking).

Everything else - I will try DATV again later and start with a clean slate, and accept that this is the game we got and not the follow up to Inquisition I had always hoped for. I feel like I have to caveat that I recognize that is MY issue, it is not a read on anyone who is enjoying it. My emotional attachments make me biased, not an asshole lol. The cliffhanger of DA:I always made me feel that the story was not over and the stakes were so high - and I'm realizing how much I wanted to continue that chase with the Inquisition to the end. That’s in addition to the end of bringing in player world states, the destruction of Southern Thedas - it’s just all a lot to accept. What was it all for?

All I can say is, as much as I am conflicted- I will always love Dragon Age from the bottom of my heart for giving me this world to play with and escape to. I hope to be back to Thedas once the feelings subside, after the highs and lows of the last 10 years. I would like to wrap up my Lavellan’s story, at the very least.

In the meantime, I have turned to my ~other comfort game of BG3 to finally start a post-Patch 7 run. And it all starts with a very confused and slightly worse for wear Lavellan on a mindflayer ship, with a fade touched left eye and arm somehow intact. (I realize the immense irony of taking a Dragon Age break by playing another game as my DA character but idk what to tell you). She is a Ranger/Wood Elf (see what I did there), with a suspicious bald man in a suit of armour talking to her in her dreams (SEE WHAT I DID THERE?). Anyway, she's probably going to kill a TON of Goblins, try to avoid the charming wizard (mage) hung up on his Goddess ex (!!!) and then climb mount Halsin. Good for her <3

[xxsugarbonesxx]

miguel tingz that wont leave my brain

a/n: I have a few thoughts on my wife Miguel that echo through the vast emptiness I call my noodle. Please be nice to me this is my first time :,(. Think of this as word vomit, enjoy. Or don't, I don't care, I'm not your mom. Slight NSFW at the end if you squint????

I think this is kinda like he retires as spidey and settles down. He marries (you in this senario) and has a couple kids, now that he doesn't have to save the universe constantly, he's much more relaxed, but his previous life does tend to slip out here or there.

Bro has a dad bod, his arms and legs are thick with muscle, he's still got those big ass hands and super strength. But now he was a chubby tummy, with lots and lots of hair. A thick happy trail that leads down to the base of his thick cock. Arm, leg and chest hair, maybe he's got a bit of a trimmed beard moment?? I feel like he has a short wolf cut now, something kinda shaggy but doesn't touch his neck just yet.

I feel like Miguel enjoys danishes. Stuff with light icing, flaky pastry insides and some sort of berry. I think he'd like cherry or black berry the most. Bear claws too, almond desserts 'n' such. But the danishes are the sweetest thing he can eat. His teeth are really sensitive to cold and sugar. But I like to think he get something sugar-y as a treat for himself very rarely and just powers through the discomfort.

He has a very thought out and meticulous hair routine. Maybe skin too, I dunno...but his bathroom sink is full of fancy product he uses, if you were to use some of it without his knowing, he'd know exactly how much was used by holding the container. He's very precise, mans has spent YEARS perfecting his routine to get everything just so. He likes feeling handsome and clean I feel.

He smells warm. Something cozy, like fresh citrus, firewood and dark chocolate. Paired with his natural musk, bro smells heavenly. He has a lot of colognes, fancy rich guy colognes to be more specific. The man is rolling in it. He keeps the lights on at the Spider Society, that power bill has to be atrocious by just looking at the architect of the building. And his universe is set in the future, so inflation has to make it even worse.

He dances like a dad. Specifically a dad who loves to embarrass his kid(s). Thought this was a normal get together and daddy dearest would finally behave? NOPE. I feel like he has that one song that just sets him off, that one song that makes him have his little 'dance like no body's watching moment'. So much so said kid(s) would shudder as the beginning would play. And he'd maintain eye contact through out it. He's dancing and he's staring his kid(s) down, the ultimate power move, reminding them there's nothing they can do and pops will always be there when they need him the least to embarrass them.

He'd be very warm and sweet and doting to his kid(s) and you, though he can kinda be sassy with them. But anyone outside of his circle, he'd be very cold like how we see him during the movie. He totally talks shit about people he doesn't like to you. "Can you believe Sonia's husband, he's such a tool. I really--I honestly just can't with him..." He'll say as he sighs, massaging his temple as he nurses a glass of red wine.

He's a wine mom, he'll end the week on the couch with a cheesy telenovela that he's lowkey obsessed with though plays it off like it's nothing. Sipping his glass curled up with you, going back and forth between watching the show and gossiping like a auntie. If you work, he needs to know the scoop. Tyler is married to Pamela but Pamela is swapping spit with that Melina? His undivided attention.

He cuddles. If you've every shared a bed with a bernese mountain dog, you know what I'm talking about. His whole body weight on you, his head on your shoulder and his legs tangled with yours. I feel like he sleeps naked, skin on skin, keeping you nice and warm all night long as he snores. He cock warms too, his fat cock pushed deep inside you, your velvet walls cradling his length as you two spoon. If he wakes up first, he'll slowly buck his hips into you with his nose buried into your hair. The sound of soft claps and sweaty grunts as your wake up call.

[ellies-enrichment]

I don't think I will be able to survive tv Tommy being left alone and miserable like in the game 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Like getting shot and Maria leaving him

Although they might change it since he is now expecting to become a father bc it would be really weird if both Maria and Dina leave the Millers with their young children bc they kept obsessing over killing Abby

Hope this makes sense lmao 😑

This makes sense dont worry it makes so much sense that it activated my Tommy is my Favorite Miller gene and I'm gonna word vomit

If it makes you feel better, I like to believe it was actually a mutual decision and that it wasnt necessarily Maria's. It doesnt make it better but all things considered, he begged her in the note he left to keep Ellie safe and not let her follow him. I can only Imagine how much he talked to her about it in person before leaving and because she let Ellie and Dina go(encouraged them to), Jesse died. He had two hurt kids, himself, no horses, and Jesse's body that he had to drag back to Jackson (someone said it was a few weeks on horseback & they were definitely on foot at this point) It's a messy situation but I truly do believe that it WAS a mutual decision in the game for them to break up. It was Mutual or it was Tommy in my mind.

I can't handle either Tommy or Ellie being broken and alone when all they have is the other so I'm desperately hoping that gets changed somewhere so at least maybe at the end they come back together. The way they end things badly makes me upset more than anything and I understand why Tommy was frustrated but I hope he and Ellie will be okay in the show

I also think since Maria is having a kid that they wont do JJ. I think they'll trade JJ for TJ because I can't see them having two babies. Idk why it just seems unreasonable to me. Ever since that episode I've been like "oh well rip Jesse Joel its Tommy jr now" I dont know how that will work for Ellie and Dina in a time jump but I hope Tommy and Maria can at least figure out their issues for this.

ALSO tv Maria is worse(tm) when it comes to rules than game Maria. Ellie shouldn't get permission from her it would feel wrong. (Preferably she'll leave with Tommy but he wouldnt let her do that) so Ellie leaves without permission and Tommy and Maria can't argue about her letting Ellie, Dina, and Jesse get into trouble.

Again though, having a baby may change her attitude. She might be like "bring the dumbass home so my kid isnt fatherless" in front of Ellie, the once again orphan.

The writers have themselves a sticky situation I'm not even on surface thoughts ive spent so much time thinking about how season 2 Tommy is going to be and how the whole situation with Abby will play out

[silverandarsenic-hcs]

i think this could be really fun- do you have headcannons on how the papas and ghouls would act if they got super drunk at a party and their s/o has to help them get home and into bed safely :p

this is so fun. and no i wont put a cut. deal with my clutter on your dash.

Papa II: this never happens. like everything. his tolerance to alcohol and every drug is so high that he almost never gets actually messy in public. on the rare occasion he gets too fucked up somewhere, its best to leave him there. if you try and tell him its time to go and he should go to sleep, he'll resist like you just told him he's on fire - he doesn't believe you, and wouldn't care if it was true. could can try as hard as you want, but if you get him outside hes passing out in the gutter, and you cant even lift him enough to get him into the uber (and even if you could he would grab the wheel and cause a crash). leave him where you found him and he'll be home in the morning

Papa III: now he usually doesn't get too fucked up at parties to keep his composure because nothing is worse than being messy in company, not even alcohol poisoning. he gave you strict instructions on what to look for that means its time to go home, and never to listen to him when he gets to that point and tells you he's fine. He'll probably just be falling all over you and telling you how pretty you are and how much he loves you and the things he's gonna do to you when you get home. as soon as you unlock the door he passes out in bed. just roll him onto his stomach and let him sleep it off.

Cardinal Copia: zero alcohol tolerance, this man is a mess after four drinks. you should probably have uber ready or a cab on speed dial the second he puts on his party hat. all you have to do is tell him hes being too silly, and he'll listen to every word you say. a really suggestible drunk - drink some water? take off your shoes? why dont we get in bed? and he will use all of the strength he can muster to do what you asked, even if it takes all night.

Swiss: He doesn't get messy. period. he could drink every bottle on the shelf and still be good to go, strutting around no problem, ready for whatever else the night has to offer. he'll probably be the one carrying home anyone who tried to keep up. and he will think less of you. he only ever tolerates messy from a few people - dew, his s/o, and he's prepared to carry rain to the uber most nights. if your his s/o and the relationship is new it's SUCH a turn off to get messy, and he probably wont call you back. if he actually loves you, he'll let it slide. on nights he goes out alone with swiss, you can just expect he wont be coming home that night.

Dew: Always messy so there's no difference. just slightly more vomiting and he doesn't even pretend to listen to whatever anyone else is saying. he's off in his own little world and dragging everyone else down with him. if he does get too fucked up you will literally never be able to get him home. like papa ii, best to leave him in the gutter and find him tomorrow.

Aether: never gets that drunk. ever. like ever. someone has to be the responsible one, and if swiss wasn't a dickhead, maybe he would take a night off, but swiss is a dickhead, so it's cool calm collected water for him. besides, someone has to DD, the church expense write offs for uber are getting hard to explain.

Rain: No tolerance, will get messy, knows this so he keeps an eye on his drunk levels closely. if he does get shitfaced, you can get him anywhere with snacks. street food, mcdonalds, the promise of cold leftovers at home, this man is food motivated and has the drunchies so bad. also a pretty obedient boy and feels bad if he thinks he ruined the party so he'll do whatever you ask.

Mountain: drinks like a tank, but also doesn't really party, so he doesn't really get messy, so much as quietly shitfaced and annoyed. he's also too big to carry home so you better pray aether is around to help. he probably wont listen because hes a man and he can do it himself, so he'll get on your nerves so bad you would consider leaving him at the party anyways if you knew he would get lost on his way home. no sense of direction. will tell whoever is driving theyre going the wrong way the entire ride home, and is always wrong.

Cirrus: Like Swiss, doesn't get messy, and has the stamina to keep up almost every night. if she gets so fucked up you need to take her home, shes probably just out with the girls and not the whole group, and absolutely will not listen to anyone but her s/o and Cumulus. just gotta be a little stern with her and she'll listen, so it's not to much of a problem.

Cumulus: like aether, doesn't get too drunk cause someone has to take care of everyone else, but she doesnt step in unless the situation gets really out of hand. however, on girls night, theres no stopping her, and her and Cirrus become the new Dew and Swiss - terror twins. getting her home is shockingly hard, and she will resist at ever possible opportunity. you have to make it seem like it was her idea - theres a formula and once you figure it out youre golden.

- Rosie

[unfortunatetrash]

i've never posted about litg on here before so feel free to ignore whatever hellish word vomit comes out of my mouth, i just needed to put some things down after reading new spoilers

so like, spoiler warning for scripts 17-25

as of the eipsode 25 spoilers, i'm team suresh unless some other better boy comes along in casa amor

i wasn't originally gonna go on the suresh route but eddie is too sketchy and nosy, i unfortunately made my s5 mc straight so dana is out, arlo too but after the bedroom blowup i'm fine keeping her at arm's length, finn obviously wasn't going off kat for mc, and alfie's instalove is too much to handle.

i am also kind of a sucker for will-they-wont-they ex-lovers in fiction and suresh being a cocky bastard with vulnerability issues makes it more fun - i can fix him

my interpretation of the suresh/mc relationship: they were together for at least 2 years, the foundation was physical attraction and intimacy rather than an emotional connection, eventually they both fell hard in love but suresh hadn't experienced that before and wasn't sure how to communicate on an emotional level -- he seems to have a problem being vulnerable in front of others, why he blows up when the villa talks about his past but seems more genuine though clumsy when in private -- so when they started arguing it was over mundane shit instead of talking about underlying problems; if mc was planning on proposing maybe she started expecting him to be more dependable and he picked fights and everything snowballed into his walking out and seeking something familiar instead of facing a difficult hurdle -- man probably doesn't hear no very often.

which leads me to cherrygate 2.0 (or is it 3?): alfie is pushed as a love interest very hard from the beginning of s5. he's nice, he's good company, he's goofy, total 180 from suresh right? not really. he goes head over heels quick, he says so himself. kat even spills the beans about him committing to her on the first night, even if he recognized it wasn't true. this boy doesn't hide his cards just disguises them with self-awareness and jokes.

what makes being coupled with alfie worse is if you actively friendzone him. he seems fine being friends and i suspect if he wasn't forced into a couple with mc by the story his route would be a good slowburn, too bad.

so mc gets to encourage friendzone alfie to pursue meera. they seem like a good match. i really was hoping they'd stick it out but fusebox decided to be cowards and write themselves out of the corner by having alfie choose mc over meera -- and this is fine if you want him to do so, but an mc who encourages him to choose meera and expects to go home getting picked over another girl he seems to have a really good spark with might be infuriating.

an mc who isn't interested in pursuing eddie, finn, suresh, or alfie and would rather leave than get in the way of a genuine connection or stick around to be underwhelmed or the constant center of gossip and shit stirring -- what does it say when her friend goes back on his word and doesn't listen to her request?

like you really can't get these boys to move on already.

i've only played s2 once and i fell into gary's route by accident and my favorite thing about gary's route was how often he and mc could touch base and have conversations. if s5 mc was allowed to have conversations like that -- which canonically makes since she would considering her last serious relationship ended in a big lie and heaps of dishonesty -- there'd be less drama, antithetical to the game but at least mc would have some type of agency over her relationships.

which brings me to the episode 18 script. idk if dana always confesses to mc even if mc flatout states she isn't interested earlier on, but if she does it makes alfie look even more like an asshole even when mc decides to stay with him. assuming mc is either on the fence about alfie or uninterested in him, everything following the recoupling is a nightmare.

mc can choose to only makeout or not at all, to sleep alone or share the daybed without having sex, to stay dressed or sit on the poolside, give him a chaste kiss or reject him outright -- mc can choose to take it real slow or put on the brakes. ALFIE AGREES WITH MC and proceeds to push for intimacy later on anyway.

which leads to suresh: mc can choose to be as civil as possible, blatantly ignore his quips and reassure others she doesn't have any insight into suresh is thinking in terms of "winning" her back. mc can choose to encourage him to stay in the game because he deserves to move on too. mc can be played as wanting to move on and focus on other LIs without being a shit to her ex.

when the double date comes around mc can entirely ignore suresh and arlo, focus solely on alfie and actually commit to their coupling and tell arlo suresh was flirting during the date. mc can do everything ethically sound and still gets shafted.

finally, there's episodes 23-25. suresh gives a genuine apology 👏👏👏! and no matter if mc rejects his advances and is honest about the chat she's still on the chopping block because girl code only ever applies to the girl who initiates it not the entire group.

now finn. he's a flirt and doesn't really do attachments. he likes kat but is unsure if she's the right fit because in addition to his own hang ups she has insecurities he isn't equipped to handle. he seeks out advice and chill chats with mc instead of talking with kat himself. so he's maybe feeling stifled by kat, maybe doesn't care for her shit stirring, maybe realizes not having an emotional connection with her makes coupling difficult.

so he flirts with arlo and openly admits to having a sex dream about mc and does a good old fashioned apology performance where he ropes everyone in so it seems more romantic and grand.

kat empties the bag and says mc has been cracking on with suresh when she hasn't. and alfie does what? he storms out without listening to mc and the next time mc sees him alfie's tongue deep with another islander -- you know, like suresh did -- because he's always had a doubt mc would go back to her ex no matter how hard mc worked to show him otherwise.

and this all hits different if your mc chose alfie over dana.

finn asking mc to couple with him is a bold move considering alfie and kat were "cheating." is finn serious or is it a spiteful move? is he honestly wanting to step away from physical chemistry as a basis for a relationship for something emotionally deeper? is he hurt by his partner and bff going behind his back? or is he worried about losing out and can't go back to kat or arlo and isn't interested in dana, leaving mc as the only golden ticket?

all of this leaves me curious about casa amor. i think suresh will probably still flirt but if he doesn't get a chance for an answer before he leaves he'll not go further than that. finn on the other hand, don't trust him but i also want to see him blindsided by love.

the final curiosity being the girl with the turtle tattoo. is she dana's/alfie's ex and the girl suresh slept with? there has to be at least one more bombshell who's an ex to one of the og islanders.

[bloodycassian]

reader x azriel - prompt: 

What about Azriel angst & fluff with this prompt - “I was only trying to hide my feelings. I thought…if i was an asshole to you, it would help me get over you,”  “Why did you think that would work?”

Sorry this took so long to get to anon! 

He coughed up something wet into his palm, his eyes unable to focus. The alley outside of Ritas was awash with vomit, piss, booze and other fluids he dared not think about. He lurched over and added to the mix.  You found him perched atop the roof vent to Ritas, covered in his own blood and reeking of vomit. You covered your nose dramatically, then felt bad once Azriel gave you that icy stare that made enemies turn and run. He looked like shit.  "Az, come on. I'll get you home." You tried reaching out to him but he slapped your hand away. He said nothing, just rubbed his eyes and sighed. "Go back to your Illyrian brothels." He slurred. His shadows slinked around him slowly, as if they felt the stupor the alcohol brought as well. You rolled your eyes.  "Alright, let's get you up." You reached around him and got him to his feet. He flipped you off before stumbling off the balcony and flapping his wings a bit too late. His toes caught the next roof over. You ran a hand through your hair, debating if you should follow him or not. Rhys would kill you if anything happened to his Spymaster, to your trainer on your watch. You swore under your breath and took off to catch up with him. "You may be the worst spy I've ever heard." He laughed, rolling to his back in the long grass that he decided was a good spot. If you hadn't heard him grumbling to himself you doubted you'd have been able to find him. In the darkness, even with the full moon, he was impossible to see in the night. The shadows shouded him like a blanket.  "I'm not trying to spy right now, I'm trying to keep a drunk Illyrian safe." You said from the rock beside him. You perched there, watching the trees and grass sway in the moonlight. He stood, his wings compensating for his swaying. He would have been on his face if he didnt have them for counterbalance. And if he were human, likely dead with the amount of alcohol in his system.  He scoffed and muttered something unintelligible. Then he was yelling, "I'm your trainer, you listen to me." The wind seemed to carry the words away with them. You ignored him as best you could. The wind picked up, making goosebumps rise on your arms. "I'm the reason Rhys picked you out of all those other bastards at that camp." He pointed at you, and you lost it.  You stood, fighting the hot tears that pricked your eyes. "Fuck you Az, I'm trying to help you." Before he could say anything else to upset you, you took off. Flying high above him. The wind cooled your warm cheeks and you let out a long breath.  When you landed again, he was snoring. You closed your eyes, willing them to not burn if he said anything else. You wondered how you would proceed with training if he was going to act like this never happened. Your heart sank with each passing breath as you tried to rouse him.  He woke only long enough to let you glide him to the rooftop of the townhome. You made him tea on a fire and left, unable to bear seeing him so fallen apart. + You tried not to cry the next morning when you showed up for training. On time, not a second late. Of course, he wasn't there. You feared that he had gone back to Ritas, but he was smarter than to do that. The bar owner would have brought Rhys down to handle him himself.  You brought your bag of extra clothes with you to the town home where he sat just like the night before, staring at the fire. Tin cans of tea lay all around, as if he had been up for hours. He didn't acknowledge you when you landed. Doused with firey anger, you tossed your bag to the ground.  "Just what the hell did I do to make you hate me so much?" You said, voice getting higher as you strained to hold back the tears. The stupid tears you never wanted to let him see.  The rooftop was empty besides the small fire you had made the night before, and the warm canisters of tea that he nursed. The blanket around him made him seem small. The black tunic ruffled around him even smaller. It make your belly rage, knowing that he had acted like such an absolute asshole the night before to wake up looking stupidly innocent.  Those cold eyes met yours, and for once they showed him. The real him, the agony that lay behind them. You felt your heart squeeze. "I never- I didnt mean..." He ran a hand through his hair, tossling it. He took a long breath and held it as long as he could. The burning pain welcome to fight against the anguish in his soul at the sight of hurting you. He let out a long breath when he couldn't hold it any longer. The early morning fog made his it come out like mist, his shadows mixing with it. "I'm sorry." His voice was gavely, he wouldnt' look at you.  "I tried so much." He smirked, a bitter laugh coming through his teeth. You felt the rage run cold at the stark resentment he held on. "I tried every damned thing I could think of to stay away." He shook his head. He casually threw the tin can of tea into the fire pit.  "What are you saying?" You asked tentatively. Your heart drummed in your ears so loudly you weren't sure you could hear him if he answered.  He stood, slowly. Fixed his tunic and held a hand out to you cordially. You eyed it, then him. Wondering if it was a test. He gave you a look and you took it, letting him lead you to the edge of the rooftop that overlooked the city. He gestured to the downtown area where you had followed him from Ritas the night before.  "I was trying to... break myself of you. I was being a total asshole, I agree. But I-" He grumbled to himself slightly, fumbling for words like you'd never seen the spymaster do. "I'm trying to stop being...so attached to you. You..."  "Azriel, you're still drunk...Let's go-" You began, pulling him away from the edge of the rooftop. If he hit his head while you weren't watching last night he could have major issues already. The way his words made your heart leap and soar was an unexpected response. You had eyed him more than other males, yes. But he acted as if he had no desire for you whatsoever in the years you'd known him.  He squeezed your hand and let it go, as if saying goodbye. "You are like...air to me. You're addictive in a way. I don't know what to do about it." The way he looked at you solidified your belief of him in an instant. Those hazel eyes looking into yours with a warmth you'd never seen before. Your heart squeezed, stomach flipping.  You knew your mouth was open in astonishment. But you couldnt pull your thoughts together enough to comprehend if the moment was real or not. You stammered. "I- Azriel..." you tried your best but just ended up taking his hand back in yours.  "You can tell me to fuck off, I dont know if that's going to do anything though." He tried to pull his hand from yours. The siphons on the back of his hands were dully glowing.  You couldn't think of anything besides his soft lips on yours. The way he would believe you if you kissed him. The guilt that roiled there on his face. You hated it. The moment he was pained caused you pain as well, and it was a deep hurt that left you aching. So you fixed it. You kissed him. On the rooftop, in the cold fog with alcohol and tea on your breath. "Being an asshole to me wont make me go away, Az. That'll never work." you winked, resting your forehead on his. His eyes were blown wide in surprise. He hooked a finger under your chin and kissed you feverishly.  "Maybe I should be an asshole to you more then." He laughed when he pulled away, still not letting go of you though. "Definitely not, but-" He laughed loud and it made your heart sing. 

[wickedpact]

so netflix just announced the schedule for that fan event on saturdays and now its official: there wont be a tog panel. charlize will make an appearance though, alongside other 5 actress in a panel about action movies. there's a moderator so its most likely gonna be a general discussion about the genre with an emphasis on female protagonists - she's certainly going to talk about andy and nile's characters as well as her experience as a producer - and maybe there will be a comment or two about the sequel, but i feel like nothing too specific or revealing and more like a brief statement. i hope i'm wrong tho! i mean they did kinda hint that there would be new content at the panel? (or maybe it was never gonna to happen and we're just clowns being baited yet again).

anyway, i keep wondering if its a case of netflix not giving a shit about promoting the movie, or if it there's another perfectly reasonable explanation for it and i'm being super extra about it.

because really, netflix has a lot of fucking money and they dont usually spare it on their marketing campaigns. and still we get nothing. not before the film came out (if i didnt have access to the gays from tumblr/twitter i would have never even discover the film - it had me at the joenicky gifs, obvs - and still, i had to introduce it to so many people from inside the community who had never heard of it.) and not even after people started engaging with it, basically begging for some crumbles. not a single photo or video of cast together, not any deletes scenes; we're all starving here!!! in fact, netflix just released the raw footage of an audition/chemestry test featuring the actresses from fear street vs the actual scenes from the film - including some dialogue that was cut from it which reveal some background info about the characters - so clearly they understand the appeal. SO WHY CANT WE HAVE THAT

[nonetheless i'm a fool who still hopes that someday we're gonna get more content of them together (i want behind the scenes footage! i wanna know more about their experiences training and shooting the film! i wanna hear funny stories from the set! i wanna see them teasing each other in several languages! also would sell a lung to watch luca and marwan taking part in back to back chef!). ]

anyhow, i honestly find that even when we take into account the global pandemic and its effects, the publicity was kinda wack; we can basically count on one hand how many interviews were made while they were promoting the film.

and i truly dont get it!!!!!!! im not even speaking as fan here. the old guard has the potential to be a hit among several demographics; now that disney took away what used to be netflix's flagship content the competition has never been more fierce in the superhero/ish genre!!! and its not like we're talking about some low-budget film cmon its a significal production with both experienced and emerging actors. its chiwetel ejofior ITS CHARLIZE FUCKING THERON. anyway my point is that in a time when movie theathers were closed and streaming reached its peak tog could - SHOULD - have been much more popular.

SO LIKE. WHY?????? does it have anything to do with skydance and copyrights? re: interviews, can it be that the cast just didnt sign up for this (is that even a thing? i dont know anything about the film industry, clearly)? unlikely for a movie that big i would guess but who knows??? i mean contrary to some hollywood folks most of the cast is extremely private and discrete people (GOOD FOR THEM) so perhaps they have some reservations about it? or we're really just the poor bastards that end up being obssessed with a media no one gives a fuck about it and thats it? WHYYY

p.s.: sorry for the word vomit! this was not supposed to be an essay i just had to get this off my chest and you're the most welcoming blog around these woods. thank you for the tea (or is it coffee? heh) and the biscuits and for always indulging our passionate rants. HAVE A NICE DAY I LOVE YOU

re: TUDUM, geeked week mentioned there will be a little interview thing for greg & leandro so i have a feeling if anything of tog importance will be discussed itll happen then

but yeah i get what youre saying; sometimes i wonder if the reason that theres like no bts content is bc it just.. .doesnt exist? just people didnt film things like chemistry readings or the like while creating tog and thats why theres been basically no crumbs? (but then again, it was gina who took it upon herself to post the hair & makeup test footage AND theres at least one deleted scene that we know of thats never been posted so maybe not)

and yeah it does seem so bizarre since tog got such a big response from audiences (it was one of netflix's most watched original movies!) and critics did actually like it, unlike some of netflix's most watched originals. PLUS it has that ✨ Franchise Potential ✨that everyone has been searching for as of late and it also gives netflix their sought after Woke Points. idk it just seems like they should be leaning into tog as hard as they can but it feels like theyve been largely ignoring it. i mean i get the holdups in regard to finding a new director but other than that the response from netflix has been so underwhelming

[dungeonsndiapers]

Update

Posting about Kennedy starting school made me realize I missed posting here.

So update...

Kennedy, she's an awesome kid. She's funny and so damn smart. Her vocabulary is insane and often she says things and I have to makes sure that's what she actually said because it doesnt seem like it would come out of a 4 year old. She so inquisitive. I know its common at her age to never shut the fuck up, but she doesn't just ask questions for the sake of speaking. She wants to know so much about the world around her. Like I said in my previous post she started pre school. Its a 3 day a week program and she doesnt go all day, its mainly for social interaction. I knew when I became a parent that would be a difficult aspect for me to navigate, being someone who has such bad social anxiety that I find it difficult to leave the house... but I didn't know how much self judgement and hatred would be uncovered by this. So I am glad to see her go off and make friend and socialize with kids her age, because she wants to so desperately, and its been severely lacking and I sort of hate myself more and more each day over my inability to just go out and interact with people. (Like seriously what is wrong with me that I feel anxious and awkward around children).

Jefferson, is also an awesome kid. He's also... a lot. He started walking at 8 months and shortly after that learned how much he liked to jump and climb, and he never, ever stops. He keeps me on my toes for sure. He is also 2 months away from being two years old and is completely non verbal. Not one word. He babbles, he says "ma ma" but its never at me. He's never assigned a sound to a word. He scored in the "medium risk" category at his 15 month assessment for autism and will be reevaluated in January for his two year appointment. In the mean time we have an appointment with audiology to test his hearing and then after that speech therapy evaluation. He also has... idk sensory issues. He's always had a sensitive gag reflex, and now that results in him throwing up (not spitting up, straight up vomit) at least once a week. If he cries too hard he'll start gagging and throw up. If he put too much food in his mouth, gagging and throwing up. If we give him food he isn't familiar with and decides he doesnt trust it, gag and throw up (Sometimes without even tasting it). Its... exhausting. We've been told that some kids are like that and he is physically very health and getting all the nutrition he needs so we shouldn't worry. But the cleaning vomit up gets tiresome. However.... he may not very giving will his smiles, but when he trusts you enough to let you in he's the most affectionate and happy kid. His smile and laugh are everything. He's also really smart. He understands how things works, he just doesn't know how to tell us. if he's thirsty he will put his cup on the fridge where the water dispenser is. When he doesn't want to watch something on TV, he'll grab the remote and put it in our hands. Things will get better. At least he's mostly sleeping through the night.

Bill is doing good. Idk he's just Bill. I wish he has more of a social life here. He doesn't seemed super bothered by it though. Maybe because he interacts with people at work. I just want him to be happy.

As for me, I don't think I'm doing great. I feel incredibly lonely. Being a parent is so isolating, especially in a pandemic. And on top of that I am completely incapable of making friends. I have been in Washington for almost 4 years and I haven't made one friend. Literally not one. And the thought of having to talk to people makes my chest feel tight so... cool guess I'll just be lonely. I have started talking to a therapist, but its hard because I hate telehealth but there isn't really another option for us. (I know its seems weird that someone with anxiety like me would love to not have to talk face to face but I also have a lot of anxiety about not being able to hear them or them not being able to hear me or having problems with my internet and the picture wont load. Guys idk what to say I'm fucking insane) Even if they did have in person sessions, when tf am I supposed to go? I have two kids, one who is difficult and no one to really watch them on a consistent basis for something like therapy. So telehealth is the only option while Bill works from home and tries to watch the kids. But it's really difficult to focus when I can hear Jefferson crying upstairs or when I'm all done and I feel emotionally rung out because I have been crying for 45 minutes non stop, I have to be immediately back into mom mode because Bill has to get back to work. It's a mess. I'm a mess. I'm constantly overstimulated. And I'm so tired.

[omegawolverine]

Plesse tell me about queerness in the get down!!

okay okay queerness in the get down let's fuckn goooo

disclaimer: I havent watched this show in full for like 5 months at least, probably gonna get something wrong and/or forget some more important bits. also this wasnt proof read I just word vomited

tws: period typical homophobia, abuse mention, f slur use, bury your gays trope, overdose mention, mention of a creepy possible age gap (the age gap hasnt been confirmed so that's why its possible), cops

going from least to most prominent queer characters, let's start with mylene cruz!

so, from the beginning of this show she has an established romantic relationship with ezekiel (although the status of their actual relationship changes frequently throughout the show) and though this was a relationship she was hesitant to pursue, it is clear that she does have romantic feelings for him and if not for them both having growing careers in very different music genres (zeke specifically working in a genre that she repeatedly labels as bad because she thinks they're ruining records + that it isnt real music because they're using someone elses piece and rapping over it, that's not really important here tho lol) they probably wouldve had a much healthier, smooth sailing romance. that being said theres a few things that happen in the show that, while not explicitly clear, or even really good coding at that—to the point where you wont catch if you really arent looking for it (and trust me, I always look for coding, hers was just so little that it flew over my head until I saw someone else mention it)—are still cool to think about!

so, for starters, I wanna mention the toy box performance, which was performed by mylene and regina, who are best friends. that's all cool and shit, and you dont really think much about it...until you hear about the fact that the show runners purposely colored a lot of the scenes in that performance with the bi colors. like. the writers after the show ended basically said "oh yeah there was plans to make her coding more explicit, but our shit got cancelled soooo" and then dropped the fact that she was gonna be bi (or at least implies bi) in the series, which puts a new twist on a few things.

now, besides the bi coloring in the background of the toy box performance (which was mostly on scenes with her and regina, which involved a lot of uh,, lowkey lewd dancing. with each other. in very revealing outfits. wooooo), there's her music! I dont tend to read too much into this one bc, like I said before, her coding is fucking light and the writers themselves said they didnt really get to do much with it, but I think some stuff with her music is interesting. specifically how her, yolanda and regina's song set me free blew up because dizzee, resident (lowkey enby coded) bicon, got their song played in a queer club. also that the song was majorly important to dizzee and started playing literally right as he kissed a boy for the first time and realized "oh shit I like boys that's bonkers". also that the song can be taken in a gay way since literally the entire thing is about becoming your true self, fully and unapologetically, which is what both dizzee and mylene's entire character arcs are about. dizzee (and a lot of other queer people, apparently), heard this song about being set free and it resonated with them so much that they got that shit most of its popularity.

speaking of dizzee and mylene, they parallel each other a lot in the way that their arcs are about them realizing who they are, coming into themselves and no longer just letting people treat them like shit in a sense (dizzee starting to tell people essentially that they can call him weird all they want, they can make fun of how he acts, what he likes, how he dresses, etc. but he likes how he is and quite literally saying "it's okay to be an alien" as he has consistently compared himself to one throughout the show vs mylene learning that if she wants to be a disco singer she needs to put her foot down, not let anyone, not even the love of her life, not even her abusive father, stop her from achieving her dreams, etc. and continuing to pursue her career with or without their support). one more little parallel that I think is interesting is during I think s2 towards the end of the show is when dizzee and thor are shown together having fun with each other, painting all over the building and each other and are basically just being happy and in love together and then they have these clips of them being interspersed with clips of mylene at a party where she is starting to realize that if she wants to get anywhere she needs to be her own main priority and that she needs to put her career and her dream, which is what makes her the happiest, above all else if she wants to succeed. idk I just think how the show made these two into a weird parallel, accidental or not, is neat. maybe not an explicitly queer parallel, but I think at least how her music and whatnot helped dizzee, the main queer character in this show, blossom, is important.

moving on we got shaolin fantastic also known as "oh no your internalized homophobia is showing-"

so, heres a quick list of...interesting shao facts:

Consistently referred to as fag/faggot (shaolin fanfaggot is my personal favorite); he gets really defensive about this despite nobody actually thinking he's queer, it's just people being assholes to be assholes, and he is the only character consistently referred to using a slur, especially a homophobic one, especially for a "straight" character. dizzee, a canonically queer character, is called a fag less than shaolin is even though dizzee actively goes to gay clubs, has a not so secret dude he "hangs out with" and wont let anyone properly meet, paints his nails, wears less than straight clothes even by the 70s standards and is just all around the definition of fucking queer (and I mean like in the weird way, not the gay way). in fact theres only like once I can remember him being called a fag and it had nothing to do with him actually being gay it was literally just like thrown out there the same way you would call someone a bitch.

Has only shown sexual interest in women, yet refuses to have deeper relationships with women in general (possibly because of trauma but who knows) but takes his relationships with his "brothers", specifically zeke, very seriously

Tells zeke and zeke ONLY his real name when zeke was planning to stop being his friend bc shao more or less got boo boo, a like 14 year old black kid, arrested for selling hard drugs; he was clearly scared and trying to do anything to keep zeke around, literally chasing him down the street and hounding him until he got zeke to stop and argue with him

Kept threatening to beat up zeke in the end but couldn't actually bring himself to do so, instead saying that zeke is "fucking lucky" before walking away

Let's zeke get away with things that nobody else can, in general just has a weird soft spot for ezekiel that he shows with nobody else

when shao found dizzee with thor in a vaguely compromising situation (like they were just shirtless covered in paint sleeping next to each other but shao had also seen everything they painted on the walls ((which some of it was sus)), it was clear they had painted on each others bodies and dizzee had been routinely disappearing with this guy for weeks now yet not producing nearly as much art, at least, as far as we audience members know) he didnt judge him but instead, waited for him to get cleaned up and then told him something along the lines of "theres a reason why im so secretive blah blah blah [not everyone needs to know everything about me]", which, in context, kinda implies that he might be a lil. a lil homiesexual. jus a lil.

whenever even the possibility of zeke leaving him comes up he absolutely loses it. he has literally cost ezekiel life changing opportunities because he thought zeke would just up and leave him for them. this could be abandonment issues bc he's a severely traumatized character, and that probably does contribute to it, but it also is just not a reaction he has to any of their other friends just randomly dipping in and out of his life soooooo

generally speaking, this mfer has got either bisexual with a big hard on for zeke coding or homosexual with terrible internalized homophobia and still a hard on for zeke coding. either fucking way, that nigga gay. he gay as hell. gay as fuck man. there wasn't really much to analyze here tbh bc the coding is just so fucking obvious if you look for it or you are/have been a gay person who's dealt with at least a little bit of internalized homophobia.

also, just a sidenote, idk how fucking old shao, but I'm praying hes like at max 19 bc I'm pretty sure zeke is a minor in this show and shao definetly is not so the whole him being heavily implied to have a crush on ezekiel thing is kinda. oof. not oof if zeke is like 17 but any younger than that? OOF.

edit: apparently the characters are only supposed to be a year apart in age but i had no clue about that before writing this post and since shaos age was never actually stated in the show i naturally assumed he was an adult since his actor Looks Like An Adult. this is definetly on me to a certain extent, but i also never saw anything about this when trying to find our their ages so 🤷‍♀️ maybe i just didnt look deep enough, sorry!

now moving on to the main event...marcus dizzee kipling :]

so, first things first, let's talk enby coding bc him being bisexual was already confirmed!

um, to start off, I just wanna say I dont think this enby coding was intentional or even really coding, it's just moreso me being a dizzee kin on main and knowing as a transmasc enby he has very transmasc enby vibes. for example:

cool, gender neutral nickname that everyone calls him

paints nails various different colors

the whole wardrobe is just a transmasc enby heaven...fishnet shirts, jean overalls, jackets and cuffed pants galore, the big colorful pins, etc

gender neutral hairstyle (when I had my fro it was very sexy and made it easy to transition between hyper masc and vaguely fem, which is pog)

comparing himself to/representing himself consistently with an alien character (though this is meant to represent his sexuality, it could also double as a gender thing too, not neccesarily bc of the whole nonbinary alien trope but bc an enby who likes aliens might heavily identify or compare themselves to whatever their idea of an alien is, whether that just be a genderless entity or a motherfucker with fly style and no need to be perceived as anything other Wacky As Hell)

moving on from there, let's talk about how his queerness is presented to us and how, while it may be a really good piece of representation, especially coming from netflix, it still lacks in A Lot of places.

so, let's start with good things!

i personally really like the get down's queer rep with dizzee bc it's (for the most part) nonsexualized and very very soft, about dizzee figuring himself out and realizing there is a place where he fits in, and about two teenagers in the 70s falling in love over their shared passion for street art. it also features an interracial couple where both boys challenge stereotypes both about queer men and men of color, which is epic poggers and very sexy. this piece of rep specifically is very important to me bc I am a queer black person and even tho interracial relationships are mostly normalized now, I've still had people give me shit for primarily dating white people in a town that is...primarily white lol

mm anyways, I can also appreciate how in the get down, dizzee being represented by rumi the alien is not a thing specifically related to gender (as it often is) and instead is about his sexuality and just in general weirdness and how it has led to him being alienated amongst his peers, poc or otherwise. him seeing himself as an alien is not about just his queerness, which is important, it is about him being a queer black man who talks different, acts different, dresses different and is "soft"—he isnt a walking black male stereotype and he wouldnt have been seen as masculine back in the 70s by any stretch of the imagination. this can be relatable to a wide spectrum of queer poc, from queer black men currently who still have to deal with this shit or to people like myself who are afab neurodivergent mixed race enbies that have always been signaled out as weird and alienated for it. dizzee is god rep bc while he has a small part in this show, his parts are very impactful, hard hitting and show queer poc of all ages that they arent alone and that it's okay to "weird", you just need to embrace it because somebody will love you for you, as thor did for dizzee.

that being said theres um. some minor problemas here,,,

namely:

dizzee and thors first kiss

the lack of development this pairing got

the way dizzee was confirmed bisexual off screen, he never said the words himself, just showed interest in both genders

the way dizzee and thor were never even confirmed boyfriends or just fwb so most of the fandom just calls them boyfriends bc Why Not

dizzee was implied fucking DEAD??? AT THE END OF THE SERIES?????? AND THOR WAS IMPLIED ARRESTED?????????????

now, these might have been things that wouldve been fine had the show been given it's full run but it wasnt which is why we are now left with probelms.

so, from the top, let's go over these: dizzee and thor's first (and only "on screen") kiss was one that was shown in a montage of other queer people making over and doing other vaguely romantic/sexual things, one of those things being a whole ass naked titty being mouthed at, but the actual kiss...was just not shown? like they really did just say "yes they kissed <3 you know this from the context clues of it being in a montage with kissing, hickey giving and titty sucking <3 but no we will not show it <3" LIKE HELLO? I SAW A NAKED BOOBIE BUT NOT TWO MEN KISS??? HUH????????

also, dizzee and thor were both fucking high as hell during this bit like this isnt a terrible thing but it's also like sometimes you do shit when you're high that you wouldnt do sober and they just never kissed again on screen so like?? like idk that's not that bad but it does kinda irk me since they deadass got no other on screen intimacy after that unless you including painting on eacher other or sleeping next to each other on a shitty mattress but not touching at all during it bc they were both at opposite ends of the mattress like half way off it

so yeah, that was trash. then we got lack of development, which kinda goes with the "dizzee being a bisexual but he never says it in canon" thing cause like...okay dizzee was already sort of a side character from the get go like he wasnt the mc by any means, but he became way more of a background character as things continued until we basically only saw him for performances or when he was with thor, yet they got no fucking development as a pairing other than "dizzee realize he gay, he like thor, he and thor spend time together and ig probably do some gay stuff but we dont really know bc we only ever see them do graffiti together now" like?? tf am I supposed to do with that shit. answer. quickly. and then theres dizzee not being confirmed bisexual, which is just a running problem with shows literally doing everything to say a character is bi except for having the character just...say they're bi? which would be so easy? like a good way dizzee and thor couldve had some development is by thor teaching dizzee things about the queer community that he didnt even know existed, thor couldve helped him understand what being bi meant and helped him label himself and whatnot but instead we got an off screen confirmation that the writers had bisexual in mind when writing him. which is garbagé.

the whole thor and dizzee never having a confirmed relationship status is also a development problem cause like literally nobody knows if they were just friends who made out, maybe fucked, who knows, or if they were dating bc dizzee does give a love confession but a love confession doesn't mean there is a relationship, especially since thor didn't say he was in love either (as far as I remember, I could be wrong, plus whether or not that really happened or was apart of dizzee literally overdosing during a performance is unclear so 🤪)

and now for the biggest issue...bury your gays trope.

during the season 2 finale, dizzee and thor are chased by cops after they are found doing graffiti, one of the cops is able to catch thor while the other chases dizzee into a train tunnel and there is a train seen headed straight for him before the show cuts to black on a train horn. the show writers claim that if they had gotten another season, dizzee wouldve been alive but since they didnt and since that's essentially super fan trivia knowledge, most people dont fucking know that and instead had to watch a black queer teenager chose death over being fucking arrested by a white cop. on top of that, thor didnt see any of that shit because he was caught and the cop started hauling him off while dizzee was still being chased so thor literally has no clue where his friend/possible boyfriend fucking is or that he's likely dead in a goddamn tunnel all alone, unless you count the fucking pig that chased him in there who wouldve died too. this shows rep was so fucking good as far as most shows go on not having major fucking problems, on not being toxic and over sexualized, etc, etc. and then they just. killed a black queer teenager for no fucking reason. like it was literally the last episode ever, it would add nothing to the plot, it would just devastate fans and devastate it fucking did. I dont cry easy but seeing a character I identified with, who I had hyperfixated on, die because he'd rather that than be arrested is terrible. it fucking sucked.

so yeah. that's my all too extensive thoughts/analysis on the get down's queerness. theres definitely stuff I missed, or misinterpreted, or looked too much into, etc, etc., but this was a fun thing to spend time writing sooo yeah!! thanks for the ask anon, sorry this was just a big rambley info dump, but hopefully you get some enjoyment out of it since it took like 3 hours at least 😭😭 feel free to ask clarifying questions lol

[georgescatcafe]

a quiet life (a handshake)

rating: g warning/s: non-graphic violence pairing/s: dreamnotfound genres/tags: royalty au, king george, knight dream, marshal sapnap, pining, fluff and angst word count: 2,322 summary: The first time he and Dream touch again after his coronation is an accident.

He trips. Dream catches him.

The strongest dam in Essempy will never break, no matter if it cracks or leaks. George is not the strongest dam.

+ao3

;;

George isn’t sure what to think as the crown is placed atop his head. It’s heavy, and when he had touched it the night before, waiting, hesitating, it was cool to his fingers. Even now, he feels the cold metal as it rests, nestled in his hair.

In his hands, George holds the orb and scepter, and they’re just as heavy as the crown. With them, he can’t use his hands, can’t carry anything else, only the duty that’s been given to him. George looks out across the crowd. This isn’t a celebration, it’s a shackling. 

The ceremony passes with ease. George is the crowned King. He’s never wanted to be anything less.

;;

“So… you’re King now.”

George looks back to see his knight standing in the doorway, cloaked in shadow. He nods, and the knight steps forward. George turns fully to greet him. “I thought you wanted this.”

“I do,” Dream replies. He comes closer. “For you.”

George raises a brow.

“Everything you could ever want,” Dream says. “Money, power. When you ride into battle, George, you’ll look so—,” he cuts himself off, clears his throat, “there’s nothing you could ask for that couldn’t be given.”

That’s not true. George swallows. “I’ve got the world at my fingertips.”

Dream nods. “It’s what you deserve.” His fingers twitch. George looks at them, wishes he could take them in his own—if only he weren’t King, if only he weren’t a coward. He wonders if Dream wishes the same. When he meets Dream’s eyes once more, the knight is watching him. His gaze is green, like grass, like the valleys and hills that he and George used to whisper of escaping to. His gaze, deeper, closer to his iris, is brown, like the bark of trees, like cool, damp earth. George can’t actually tell the true colors of Dream’s eyes. Dream taught him the colors, murmured them to him when they were kids, close and personal, trying his best to describe it in the clumsy way kids can. George had loved every second of it. “I really wanted this for you, George. I want you to be happy.”

But being King won’t grant George happiness. But Dream doesn’t know that. George smiles. “I’m really happy, Dream. Thank you.”

Dream smiles back. It doesn’t reach his eyes. George wonders if his own did.

;;

George does like the power. He likes the money. In terms of materials, maybe Dream’s right, this is all he could want. He’s never been happier. But each day he rises and sees the knight, catches his eye over breakfast, bumps into him in the courtyard, and each day the ache in his chest grows worse. Within him lies a want nothing but Dream can fulfill. He wishes he could cut it out, take a knife to his chest and be done with it, hands bloody, heart happy. But he can’t.

So he aches.

;;

There is no pressure for George to take on a consort of any sort, and for that, George is actually happy, smiling to himself the minute he’s alone after hearing the news. Even if there were pressure, George doesn’t think he would give in.

He doesn’t think he can give in.

His hands are tied with tasks as King and he can’t afford love, can’t even afford an heir. Not so soon. Not with Dream still so near. George’s gaze drops to the floor when he accidentally sees Dream across the hall. When they pass each other, George fights the urge to reach out and grab, hold onto and not let go, with all he has.

;;

George supposes he would love antagonizing the marshal, Sapnap, if Sapnap weren’t as entangled as tightly with Dream as he is. 

“He seems sadder nowadays,” Sapnap tells George as he saddles the other’s horse, not something either of them are wont to do, but today seems to be an exception. He runs a hand down the mare’s flank when he’s done, giving her a firm pat before turning to George. “I always ask him if he’s alright, but he just, y’know, shrugs me off.”

“He does that,” George says.

Sapnap nods.

George climbs onto his horse. “He is, though, isn’t he?” he asks. Sapnap looks up at him. “Alright.”

“For once,” Sapnap says, as he takes a couple steps back, allowing George to guide his horse outside the stable, “I don’t actually know.”

George’s ride is spent with only the company of unease. At one point, he stops the mare, nausea rising in his throat, only to dry heave in the bushes as the Sun passes over high in the sky.

When he returns, Sapnap is gone, and George leaves putting up his horse to the stable boy.

The rest of the day is unproductive. He spends most of it in his room.

;;

The first time he and Dream touch again after his coronation is an accident.

They walk, silent, side by side, down a corridor, both headed in the same direction. George refuses to look over. Dream seems to refuse to look away. Under his gaze, George prickles, tingles breaking out under his skin, pinpricks of feelings he’d wish go away.

And then he trips. And Dream catches him.

The strongest dam in Essempy will never break, no matter if it cracks or leaks. George is not the strongest dam.

;;

He starts planning after that. George has never been one for affection, but he craves Dream’s touch like a flower craves the Sun. And so he plans, every move he makes an effort to get Dream’s hands on him again. It feels perverse, wrong, and maybe it is—as a king, he shouldn’t want this. As Dream’s friend, he shouldn’t want this.

But he does, and it’s too late to deny these feelings now.

Dream has touched his hands, his shoulders, his waist, his arms. It’s all fleeting. It’s not enough.

He’s taking a break from work—tallies, taxes, treatises mocking him behind his eyes—in a landing between the second and third floor when he spies Dream and Sapnap. Together, they walk, and George envies their easy affection. Dream shoves, Sapnap shoves back. George wants that. They keep distance between them still. It’s friendly. They’re friends. George wants more than that. George thinks he might go insane.

He looks away. It’s best not to dwell on it. There’s other things to do.

;;

George thinks he’s alone on the trail when there’s a sudden burst of sound—the stomping of hooves—and Dream is next to him, atop his stallion, elegant and proud. For a moment, George sees him as King, sees the crown, the cape. It’s beautiful. 

It’s cold.

George smiles at him. “Protecting me from bandits?”

“I like your company,” Dream replies. “Besides, bandits this close to the castle?”

I like your company, too, George wants to say. “Just a joke,” comes out instead. 

Dream grins. “You’re so funny, George.”

“You sound like Sapnap,” George replies, “when he’s making fun of me. Are you making fun of me, Dream?”

“I’d never, George,” Dream says, and it feels so much like the past, this easy banter between them, that George almost forgets the weight of the crown, the chasm that lies between them. Almost.

Needless to say, most of his smiles are faked after that.

;;

George has never been in battle, nor does he ever want to be in one. The declaration of war that sits upon his desk spits in his face and tells him to get over it.

Dream reads it over his shoulder, his presence a steady warmth George knows if he weren’t King he’d easily fall back into. Instead he merely keeps it close by.

“We have to answer,” Dream tells him. “We can’t leave something like this undecided.”

“Get Sapnap,” George replies.

Growing up, he thought it had been a cliche, but he finds himself nodding along when Sapnap announces to his men that they’ll ride at dawn.

;;

“Dream,” George says, war on the horizon, but only one question on his mind.

“Yeah?” Dream doesn’t look up from the map he’s surveying.

“When I had been crowned,” George turns to the other, heart pounding in his chest, “you were telling me about what I’d get as King. You also said—you said when riding into battle, I’d look—I’d look so—”

“There aren’t many things I think you shouldn’t say before battle,” Dream finally rolls up the map, looks over at George, “but that’s one of them.”

“But you’ll tell me still, right?” George tightens his grip on his horse’s reins. “Right?”

“When we’re on the other side of the war,” Dream tells him. “Then I��ll know it’s true. And I’ll tell you.”

Neither bring it up again.

;;

The sky is black. Dream tells him it’s red. “Passion,” George replies. “Heat.”

From behind them, a rumble. Something explodes. George takes a steadying breath. “Blood,” he says.

“Don’t think about that,” Dream tells him, slicing through an approaching soldier, an enemy. George wonders if his family will miss him. If he even has a family. George lifts his shield to block the sword of another. Dream doesn’t have a family. George and Sapnap could be his family. Even if they weren’t, George would still miss him. Even now, George misses him.

George runs his sword straight through a man. He leans over and vomits on a corpse. He feels Dream’s warmth against his back. If George died, he bets Dream would miss him. He wants to know what Dream was going to say. George swings his sword towards the sound of footsteps. He slices a soldier’s leg open. The blood that spills out is black.

Don’t think about that.

;;

George never wants to go into battle again. He hates battle, hates war—he hates being King.

“I love the power,” he tells Dream. “I love the money.” He tugs bitterly at the petitions now spread across his desk. “But is that worth all this?”

“Isn’t it?” Dream asks. “I thought you were happy.”

“I’m—,” George doesn’t think he can say it. I’m happiest with you. He was happiest when they were kids, tagging and chasing in the grass, shouting and screaming in the forest, shrieking and swimming in the lake. He was happiest when they could touch, when they could shove each other, push and pull as equals, not as King and servant. He was happiest when blood didn’t stain his hands crimson and when the only circle of gold he knew was the halo around Dream’s hair and not the crown that sits on his own head. “I’m trying to be.”

Silence.

Dream unsheathes his sword. They sit on a bench in the courtyard, and Dream draws the blade through the dirt. George watches as the metal glints in the light.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m trying really hard to be happy.”

He hesitates.

“It wasn’t even the fight,” he says. “Not really. I can get my hands dirty. But not like this. Not when all they did was serve their own King. I like destruction; I like a mess.”

“But not like this.”

George nods.

Dream sighs. “I’m sorry, too. I really thought you wanted this, George.”

“It’s not like you made me King yourself,” George replies. “Not like this was a long time coming.”

“I could’ve done something,” Dream says. “You, me, Sapnap—the three of us—we could’ve left. Don’t you think?”

George shakes his head. “I still like Essempy. I don’t want to leave. I just… don’t want it to come with all this.” He doesn’t specify what this is. He doesn’t have to.

Dream takes a breath. “Well—”

“What were you going to say?” George cuts him off. “I’ll look so what, Dream? We're not about to go off to war; there's no battle to fight right now. Just… tell me.”

“Beautiful,” Dream replies. “You’ll look so beautiful. And you did.”

George freezes.

“I’m sorry,” Dream says.

There’s been too many apologies today. George looks over at him. Dream stares down his sword, eyes fixated on some point in the dirt. George places a hand on his arm. They’re in the courtyard. He resists the panicked urge to lower his hand. Dream looks over at him.

“If you were to die,” George says, “I would miss you.”

Dream turns, fully facing him. George puts his hands on his shoulders, holds tight. “Even when you’re next to me now, I miss you.”

“I wish I had run away with you, George,” Dream tells him. “Just so I could do this, and not feel guilty.”

George tenses. “Do what?”

Dream kisses him.

The strongest dam in Essempy will never break, no matter if it cracks or leaks. George doesn’t want to be the strongest dam.

When Dream pulls away, George tightens his hold on him where his hands have slid off his shoulders down to around his arms. “Don’t feel guilty,” he says. Their foreheads rest against one another, and George closes his eyes, every breath Dream exhales one he inhales.

“A knight isn’t supposed to be in love with his king,” Dream replies.

“A king isn’t supposed to be in love with his knight.”

George never wants to forget the feeling of Dream’s lips on his.

;;

“I’ll change the rules,” George tells him later. “I’m a king. I can do that. Just for you and me, for us—I’ll change the rules.”

Dream runs a hand through his hair, and George leans into the touch. He’s the sunflower; Dream is the Sun. “If it makes you happy,” Dream tells him.

“It would,” George replies. “And if I get told no, if I’m shut down—”

“You won’t be,” Dream says. “I won’t let that happen. Sapnap won’t let that happen.”

It’s nice, knowing Sapnap is on their side.

“I just want to see you happy.”

“I am,” George tells him. “I really am.” And finally, he means it.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Help me breath...

Trigger warning: reader almost raped on her dream. Reader didn't actually suffered this but the dream is still dark.

This topic is really heavy and forgive me if I mistook this...

Chisaki was perfect.

No matter what the other people told you. He was perfect. Your knight in shinning armor.

Human beings had their flaws. You had flaws, Kai had flaws... but that didn't meant it made him less as a perfect boyfriend.

It took years for you to get intimate close to him. But it happened. Your wait was surely gifted and retribuited by this huge tsundere mafia boss.

How your heart ached for him with love... one day apart and you felt extremely lonely... Yet this man knew exactly what to do to get rid of those nasty sad thoughts and insecurities.

You were in a meeting of your family... everyone was laughing and joking around. Chisaki had a stoic face as usual, refusing to contribute on their laughs and to even touch them. But he made no move to correct something from your uncle or just disagree on your grandma opinions about heroes because he knew how much your family meant to you...

So he stayed close to you and remained quiet.

The peace was broken when the man whose was responsible to put you in the world shouted your name. You flinched yet furrowed your eyebrows in anger at him as Kai got in your front.

"You outta of here. I want to speak her alone." He growled. Chisaki glared back with the same hate on his eyes, preparing to use the overhaul before you put your hands on his. Shaking your head slightly as you muttered.

"I will be fine." He only looked at you with hesitation before glaring back at your father. Letting you go as you followed the man to an empty room.

"I didn't like it how close you two were." The man rasped as you rolled your eyes in disgust.

"What did you expect? He is my boyfriend." You muttered as he locked the door. "What's this for?" You aske din anger before gasping when he grabbed your wrist harshly, throwing you in a bed.

"The hell dad?!" You shouted before your eyes widened in fera as he forced his hand on your kouth as he smirked down at you. A smirk it made you want to vomit.

"Just stay quiet my beautiful daughter, will you?" You felt his hand on your thighs as you started to scream on his hand. Yelling, begging, kicking, anything...

He only laughed... the basstard laughed at your desperation as he started to unbutton your pants.

Your dad was doing this. You wanted to puke at how disgusting all of this was as tears dropped from your eyes.

You yelled, even more, bitting down on his hand as he cursed before you let out a one last begging and help call you could muster-

"KAI!" you yelled, panting as sweat crepped your skin... the man beside you flinching and getting up.

"What was that?!" He almost shouted if it wasn't 5 a.m. exausted amber eyes narrowing at you "(y/n) you better have a..." he stopped talking at seing your distress persona. Exhaling and inhaling desperately as you hugged yourself.

You flinched when he moved. And widened his eyes in shock when he went to touch your arm only to get his hand slapped by yours as you almost fell from the head while shouting "don't touch me"

You widened your eyes at seing it wasn't your father's face but your boyfriend's... making tears start to accumulate on your eyes as he stared at you.

"What... even happened?" He let out as you clenched on your arms, tears finally spilling from your eyes as you sobbed.

"I-I don't know..."

His heart stinged at the sign. Furrowed eyebrows evident as he righted with himself for only to open his arms to pull you to his chest... tensing when you just broke down and cried your heart out on his shirt.

His hand traveled from the top of your head and back in represent motions... this was a way you used to calm people down, specially himself when he was willing to be touched... he could only hope it works.

"Angel... I presume you had a nightmare?" He asked stoically but hands still carresing your body as your sobs lowered to sniffles.

"Should I really tell you?" You laughed bitterly, blinking your tears away "Is so... stupid."

"Be my guest."

When you told him, you could just feel his muscles tensing up as hives appeared underneath his shirt. Tightening his hold on you.

"Did that bastard ever laid a hand on you?" He growled as you shaked your head.

"No... I guess is just my relationship with him... is going down hills. I cant talk to him, I feel... sick? If that is even the right word. Maybe is my subconscious talking..." you mumbled before feeling chisaki hands on your shoulders to look at you, one finger tilting your chin up to look at him.

"For... measures. Stay away from him, dont keep contact. Even if he never touched you in some way like this, is better to get away from such a toxic person like your father angel, forgive me for referring him as-"

"No no... you're right." You sighed shakily... "I probably wont get back to sleep after this though."

He furrowed hsi eyebrows a bit before rolling his eyes with a bothered sigh, mentioning you to lay back on the bed before making a motion for you to turn your back to him.

You obeyed before feeling two arms awkwardly yet warmly circle your waist as he mumbled on the top of your head.

"At least know that even sleeping I am protecting my angel... I wont let no one touch neither haunt you."

You let out a sob, a happy one though. Enjoyong the warm his body could give yet the contrast of hsi cold hands on your waist and belly...

You felt safe once again on your devil's arms... ironically.

[cunninginstinct]

NWN2 - A Draconian Encounter

(A completed thread put together, written by @shinycollectingteifling as Aku and myself, @cunninginstinct as Sand.)

Fiction is T-rated Genre: Comedy, Fluff Word Count: 3836

Warnings for: Implied Romance, Nausea-Related Sickness, Combat

Neverwinter Nights 2, Act 3: Akumamika (the Barbarian Tiefling Knight-Captain) and Sand begin their descent down Mount Galardrym post-Tholapsyx. Alive - and somehow each still in one piece! Along the way, however, they run into some less-than-friendly obstacles... Is nothing ever easy?!

shinycollectingteifling

The roars could be heard for miles around the mountain, for several minutes it was the loudest sound anywhere near the mountain. Until an almighty crack of thunder silenced them, the sickening crunch of scale and bone went unheard, as did the heavy breathing.

A little scratched up and singed but otherwise looking alright, the blue teifling panted hard until her rage subsided, leaving her a bit shaky for a few moments. It took some effort to uncurl her fingers from her hammer, leaving it in what was once the face of a young but arrogant red dragon.

While the group were picking each other up and heading back to the path down with what they could carry from the disappointing pile of treasures she turned and spotted her favourite wizard nearby. She waved to the others to keep going, that she’d catch up in a few minutes. Not too worried since most of the dangers up here had been quite thoroughly dealt with.  

Moving quietly so as to not alarm him any more than he seemed to be already she crouched before him and tried to offer a reassuring smile, somewhat diminished by the smears of crimson across her face and chest. Her one working eye flicking over the elf to make sure he’d been unharmed, and her shoulders dropped with releif.

“Hey...”

cunninginstinct

Sand could never remember so desperately flinging spells in his life. The incantations left his lips with little pause between one and the next, he must have gone through at least twenty potions, and on more than one occasion he found himself hiding behind Khelgar - Khelgar! Of all people!

And at the forefront of the battle was Aku, incandescent with rage, her muscles visibly straining under taut scarred blue flesh. She leaped and struck with all the proficiency of a warrior of her caliber. The fact that she faced a dragon seemed to daunt her very little at all. Sand did not have enough time between screaming wards and protections to envy this about her.

Together, a force combined into one synergistic effort, they vanquished dread Tholapsyx at last. Sand had been hanging on with great effort to the remains of rational strategy up until the telltale crack of bone. He stood there for many moments, panting heavily, and his shoulders eventually relaxed. With relief he shakily sank down onto the top of a rugged chunk of volcanic stone, gathering his bearings.

Distantly Sand heard the voice of the knight captain trying to reach him. His eyes were still wide with terror, somewhat glazed as he reached up to rub his forehead. Every part of him was still intact. Singed, but intact. He never thought he would be so happy to find everything just the way he’d left it.

Shakily, he ducked his head and held up a hand to brandish a gloved finger. “Aku, darling,” he gulped. “Give me three seconds - my life is almost finished flashing before my eyes.” And it was just as underwhelming as he remembered it… well. Aside from his recollections of misadventures in the hosttower and running along after Aku.

shinycollectingteifling

While it would be the easiest thing in the world to assume Aku possessed all the intellect of a drunken chimp with the power of speech, she did in fact pick up on things very quickly. Some things at least. It was more her priorities for giving things thought were a little different, and she certainly wasn’t (as someone once said to her face before his got broken) a heartless killing machine.

She nodded and waited on her haunches for Sand to recover, poised ready to help if she was needed. Though she was smiling, her eyes held a great deal of worry for him.

Thinking maybe her state might be a bit unsettling she emptied a bit of her waterskin into he rhand to get most of the blood off of her face, but realised it would take a bit more effort than they had time for up here. At least her face was clean now.

Glancing up again at Sand she thought for a moment then offered the skin to him, remembering their earlier battles the gentle reminders to drink water after all the excitement, which made it easier to recover. Hoping it would have the same affect now.

cunninginstinct

Sand eased his eyes towards Aku again. She was squatting before him, and in her calloused hand she held a waterskin. His mouth suddenly felt very dry - another reminder that he was still living and breathing. “Oh… why, thank you, dear girl.” With a wan smile, he reached out to accept the offering of a drink and their fingertips lightly brushed against each other.

His hand shook as he rose it to his lips and drank steadily, though he took care to leave plenty for Aku to slake her own thirst. For many moments after he finished taking a drink, he blinked at the scorched earth where spatters of blood painted the scenery. Now that he’d found the time to ground himself, he became acutely aware of his heart hammering in his chest.

“We’re alive,” Sand acknowledged at last. He wheezed in something that might have been a chuckle, were he not so exhausted. “Aku, how in the realms did you muster this kind of fortitude…?”

shinycollectingteifling

The teifling let out a breath she’d been holding, and relaxed a bit, though looked around to make sure nothing else would be making an attempt to munch on them unawares. Looking back only to take the waterskin back, corking it and tying the loop back to her belt.

“Yes we’re alive. I promised I wouldn’t let anything hurt you.” She grinned,but it faded with the follow up question. She shifted a little uncomfortable while thinking how to answer that.

“Uh I think you probably wont like the answer. Short answer would be I got into fights a lot, like probably way more than I should’ve. Even as a kid. Not my fault. Guess I wasn’t too popular.” She tried a weak smile for him and bounced a little,eager to get going.

“You gonna be alright?” She leaned forward a bit and in a motion as tender as she could make it, placed her hand over Sand’s forehead, growing worried again.

cunninginstinct

“Hm? Oh - yes,” said Sand, reaching up to close his fingers over the tiefling’s rugged hand. “Quite fine. Nothing like a little fresh volcanic air to really set one righ–” Seconds after this incomplete utterance he turned approximately the color of the Waterdhavian algae that he sold in his shop. Unceremoniously he lurched to the side and heaved, puking up the lunch he’d picked at earlier that day. “…To set one r–”

Again, he retched. And again. Only twice more did he attempt to repeat his unfinished sentence before he gave up. At last Sand spat up the last of the foulness and he groaned. Suddenly he felt very faint and beset upon by the violent onset of vertigo. The sight before him dimmed as he swayed in his seated position. Before eventually tipping over, he faintly recalled murmuring: “Aku, would you be a dear and catch me before I flounder in my own vomit? Thank you…”

shinycollectingteifling

Seeing what was coming, Aku moved aside and very carefully pulled Sand’s hair aside, and held onto his arm. Politely looking away till he seemed to regain himself. She began to ask him a question but she could see the lights going out and quickly looped her arms around him.

It took a bit of careful maneuvering, but eventually she got him up on one arm, using her tail to keep him upright and pulled his arm over one shoulder. Satisfied he was secure she began to long trek back down the mountainside, taking things a considerably more careful path so she wouldn’t jostle Sand around too much. While dragging her hammer behind her as well.

The heat began to diminish after a while and the air was not as thick and noxious. The heavy clouds above them began opening up and a (Thankfully) cool drizzle started to soak them through. As much as Aku hated water and the rain she kept going, able to see the camp a ways further down.

cunninginstinct

Were Sand in a more controlled state, he would have recoiled to see himself giving in to such graceless displays. However, his hero was there to rescue him before he could splash about in the remains of his lunch and dignity on the scorched stone below. Suddenly he felt himself moving through the air, held above the ground by a firm, muscular arm. As reality slipped away from him, he sighed and pressed his cheek to Aku’s forehead and finally went still.

He did not shift around a lot at all and his eyes remained closed throughout most of the trip down Mount Galardrym. Even as the rain started he was still retreated into reverie for the most part. Every now and then his fingers would shift along Aku’s skin where they made contact.

If Sand were ‘awake’ he would have spared them both with a spell to protect them from the elements… except they were all used up in the scrap against Tholapsyx. Burning, scorching fire? Or a little bit of drizzle? Still, once he would finally stir from his state of semi-consciousness, they would have the luxury of being able to avoid the misty raining.

shinycollectingteifling

The slow walk down, while wet and slippery, not to mention dangerously narrow pathways, was made bearable. At least in Akuma’s mind. Finding she quite liked being this close to her favourite wizard.

A slight prickling feeling ran up her spine as she edged her way very carefully over a narrow rock pass over a very painful looking drop below. She turned just enough at the way she’d come from and felt ice drop into her stomach.

Clearly on their way up they hadn’t quite finished off one of the giants who had been hindering their progress all damn day. This one, while not the largest by any means looked angry. His flaming beard flickering as the weather turned from drizzle to a downpour, muscles bulging as he began charging at them and this narrow little bridge.

Had she been on her own Aku would have charged right back, but… She looked at Sand in her arm and at her hammer in the other and whimpered for a moment. She shouldered her weapon and pulled Sand closer to her chest as she began to run across the bridge, flinching as she heard a loud crack behind her.

Her hooves clicked rapidly across the stone and her tail thrashed side to side to help her keep her balance, she began muttering under her breath. “Don’t panic, I’ve got you I’ve got you, I promised. I promised.”  Trying desperately to look only at the end of the bridge and not at Sand or what was coming behind them.

cunninginstinct

Sand’s eyes snapped open and he tilted his head upwards, furrowing his brow against the intensifying rain. He recalled fighting the dread Tholapsyx - and surviving, successfully subverting expectation - and his exhaustion suddenly and rather nauseatingly catching up with him on the mountaintop. Everything past that was beyond his mental reach. Except… Aku caught him, held him, carried him. He recalled comfort and bliss in her arms. And she was still lofting him around, but at a scurry rather than a leisurely trot.

Sudden lightning highlighted the giant behind them and his eyes widened.

“Oh for the love of the Seldarine,” he croaked.

At least the wizard’s impromptu rest did him some good to replenish his spells. As Aku hurdled down the stone path, the elf she carried with her hurriedly chanted a haste spell on her. Hopefully that should put some distance between her and the fire giant, but it would not be enough… Without missing a beat, he began to rattle out the incantation to Polar Ray, aiming true at their cranky pursuer.

shinycollectingteifling

As the magic took a hold of her, Aku took the hint and began a full on dash across the bridge, legs blurring as she crashed through the driving rain. The edge was in sight, and she felt the creeping cold from behind her and heard an almighty roar and something heavy hitting the bridge. Which then shook.

The giant had run right into the spell and started to slip, unable to hold his balance fell backwards and hit the bridge with such a force that it was beginning to crack under his weight. He shook his head and sat up to hurl his axe at the retreating duo, just as the rock gave way and his yells quickly grew quiet then silent.

The teifling glanced back and let out another whimper before looking at her companion. “I am so so sorry about this.” She twisted and spun around, launching the wizard towards the safe end of the bridge in an upwards arc, biting on her lower lip with worry while she made a much less graceful but much faster sprint across. Sliding the last few feet on her side.

She sprung up at the last moment, arms up and got bowled over backwards in her attempt to catch Sand on his return to the ground. Going horn over tail down the muddy slope.

When they came to a stop she slowly uncurled herself from around the elf, breathing hard, and looking up to make sure they weren’t still being hunted then looked down at him, ears turned downward, and a very apologetic look on her face.

cunninginstinct

If moon elves were meant to fly they’d be avariel. That’s what Sand always thought, anyways. Yet here he was, airborne, without so much as a hint of a plan of what in the realms Akuma thought she was doing. So, he did what he’d naturally do - he screamed.

Now whatever mystique he built up over the years was gone, but dire life-threatening situations had a certain way about them that put a person’s true priorities into order. And this? This was the least of his concerns at the moment.

The wind tore at his lungs as he sailed gracelessly in an arc through the air, wailing all the while. At last gravity caught up to him and he began his journey (perhaps not so much that as it was a harsh plummet) earthwards. The ground was coming close. By Mystra, there had to be something there between his sharp ears that would save him from a squashed state! However, even with all the racing his mind was doing in that moment, all he could begin to think of was whatever eulogy he’d get once whatever smears was left of him could be collected and buried. Here lies Sand, hedge-wizard, unconventional lawyer, elven pancake.

Serendipity by the name of Aku saved him from his perilous descent through the air. His yelp was cut short quite abruptly. A mass of blue muscle tumbled into him, Sand’s ragdoll body held tight against the knight captain in a protective grasp. For a while yet they traveled, but at last when their surroundings ceased its spinning Sand found he was still, miraculously, alive.

His breathing was ragged. The twitch in his left eye was sustained for several moments until his gaze found Aku. The elf’s chest continued to heave with greedy gulps of air.

“Thank you. And also never,” Sand groaned hoarsely, “ever, throw me again.” His palm found his forehead shakily, pressing against the surface in a fed up manner. “But… more importantly, thank you.”

shinycollectingteifling

Akuma let out a sigh of relief at hearing him speak and sounding (all things considered) fine. She nodded, agreeing to his terms. “You’re welcome. I uh, wasn’t exactly thinking…just sort of uhm…”  She shut up quickly, not wanting to be any more of an idiot than she was making herself already. Besides, ‘Wanted to get you across safe’ didn’t want to leave her thoughts via words anyway.

Once the adrenaline wore off, she checked Sand for any obvious injuries, though there wouldn’t be much she could do about that at the moment. Satisfied nothing life threatening was going on she began to shift to stand up but hissed softly. Seems sliding over bare rock was not an ideal method of travel. She grit her teeth for a moment and tried again, managing to get upright and offered her hand for her companion. Wishing she could do something about the rain.

“I don’t think the camp is that far away now, we got quite a bit of distance covered.” She picked up her hammer, looking around the pass, it didn’t look quite the same in the dark, since her vision only made things black and white in the low light. Yet while she was figuring out where they were her gaze kept being drawn back to the hedge wizard.

Another flash of lightning impressed the urgency of the situation. So she took point and picked out the safer places to step down along the path, not quite going as quick as she would’ve liked.

She checked back over her shoulder fairly frequently, making sure Sand was still there. Feeling the need to lighten the mood somewhat she smiled. “You know, If anyone asks I’ll say that was me. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you be that loud before.”

cunninginstinct

“Well! At least some part of my dignity is maintained.” Sand rolled his eyes heavanward in fond exasperation. A delicate elven hand found the side of her face, fingertips lightly tracing her cheekbone. “Aku, dear girl,” he sighed with a sly little half-smile, “what ever am I going to do with you?” Rivulets of water trailed down the surface of her face like tears at his touch.

There was a pause and his ears twitched, soon afterwards his keen eyes zoned in on the commotion of camp quite a ways below them. His smile was slow to broaden, but it found inspiration with the offer of her hand. The wizard’s fingers closed around her palm, but not before he took advantage of the lack of surveillance upon the two of them to kiss where he caressed her cheek earlier. “Consider this the first part of my payment for saving our lives.”

He ran his fingers through his coal black hair and frowned in distaste at the sodden texture. “Mm,” he hummed thoughtfully. “And consider this the next part.” While still grasping her hand, he wove a spell to protect them from the elements for the duration of the rest of their descent. And if Tymora smiled upon them, hopefully it would be a slower and less treacherous one. “You saved me from a dragon, so naturally I must rescue you from the clutches of a dreadful cold. Ah, don’t thank me all at once.”

shinycollectingteifling

Seeing the hand close to her face she couldn’t help flinch slightly but relaxed almost immediately.

It was the strangest most surreal thing in the world to her that with the barest hint of a touch Sand could make her simply melt against his palm, eyes closing for a few moments.

She couldn’t have answered his question even if she wanted to, her brain and stomach were becoming quite fuzzy, enough to distract her until the brief kiss against her cheek.

Then the fuzz became a blaze of heat and she felt like she’d been stunned for a good while, and simply followed where he was leading her, hoping the walk down to the camp wouldn’t be too short after all, and for once thankful the dark was hiding the new colour on her face.

“Uhm yeah rescue the cold from a dragon…” She grinned, clearly hadn’t paid quite full attention and walked a little closer, looking far too happy in the dark and pouring rain when usually she’d be the first to complain about the weather. “Best wizard ever.”

cunninginstinct

Sand chuckled. “I’ll take that as a ‘thank you’.” He was not so disoriented that he would miss the flush spreading across her face, but he accepted his success with a smug, knowing smile.

They strode down the path steadily, hand in hand, protected from the rain by a magical bubble. Still he took care with his steps... it would not do well to ruin the moment by taking another impromptu tumble down the slippery hill. There would always be a better time and place for the two of them to be sprawling, and the rocks here were not looking particularly comfortable for it. With a twinge of amusement he tucked that thought away for a different time.

The gods graced the rest of their journey without any more dragons or giants, or even sudden natural disasters, that would have no doubt put a damper on their walk. Despite the dark and the rain he would dare say he even enjoyed these moments, more since they were not burdened with the risk of being watched by prying eyes. They were for each other in this simple stroll. Any lingering fire giants would just have to form a queue and wait until Aku and Sand’s precious rare time alone was over.

But alas, all good things must come to an end, and far too soon it seemed. The camp was within reasonable distance and the risk of being seen together like they were was too much of a risk for comfort. Quietly Sand kissed her hand before releasing it, gazing about warily as they continued on. The last thing they needed was a tattletale, and it was blessing enough to not be caught by any further enemies on their journey down.

[prinxlyart]

I need to know what was betted on and who won the most also all the parents were prob super emotional just Eda was like "I wont cry" then 5 minutes in shes on the floor cause her baby is all grown up Camilla spent like an extra half hour making sure Luz's outfit was perfect King pretends he doesnt care but he's really bad at hiding it and Willow's dads are just a wreck depending on how bad the Blight parents are in this scenario they could be the ones paying for the mega extravagant wedding

In terms of the betting:

Eda thinks that Amity wouldn’t have the guts to confess and would only do so if forced to. She thinks Luz would beat them all to the punch either due to her “misplaced confidence” or on accident.

Lilith thinks she knows her ex student better than that and thinks that she’ll be able to summon the courage, but maybe needs a push. She doesn’t know Willow at all, but she’s starting to get to know Luz.

King thinks Luz would be the first one to confess but also agrees with Eda in that Amity wouldn’t have the guts, but Willow might.

Gus thinks they all have a fair shot (and is only 12 anyway, Eda and Lilith agree that he shouldn’t take part in a betting pool [king takes his money anyway when the two women aren’t around. Gus tells him quietly that he’s putting his money on Willow getting sick of dancing around their feelings and just belting it out.]).

Emira has faith in her baby sister but thinks Luz would just blurt it out like word vomit and be the first to confess.

Edric thinks similarly to Gus in that Willow would be the first to snap, but he thinks Luz would be the first to spill.

In terms of the wedding (under a read more cuz this shit got LONG):

*****extremely American-based generic wedding ceremony. No mention of any kinds of religious traditions that I can think of*****

Eda absolutely cries. A lot. She denies it every time, but she takes every single tissue Camila offers her. I think Lilith cries too, not nearly as much as Eda, but I think in like. A combination of pride and relief? Relief in that they’ve all come so far with one another that they invited her to join them for their special day. Pride in that she’s watched these girls grow up and become the strongest, kindest witches the Boiling Isles has ever seen.

I think Camila is the kind of person that would busy herself with the details of wedding planning and outfits and catering so she doesn’t have to face the fact that her baby is all grown up and getting married. Her baby that didn’t go to that awful summer camp and found instead an incredible life for herself with two amazing people that love her for who she is, not who society wants her to be. She’s never been so proud in her life. She definitely cries.

King is the ring bearer!!! After they all pick up their respective rings, he has to hide his face behind the pillow to cover up the tears. He’s also happy and proud of Luz and everything she’s been able to accomplish in the time that he’s known her. She changed his entire world and he couldn’t be happier for her.

Willow’s dads are also crying messes. They’re trying their best to record the event but their hands are too shaky because they’re crying so much (don’t worry, Camila hired a professional). Their baby girl has grown into such a beautiful, strong young woman who managed to find not just one, but two people that love her more than life itself and have helped her flourish into the powerful, confident witch she is now.

Amity’s parents have done some shady shit in the past when it comes to their children. But over the course of the last decade, I like to think they’ve realized their errors (probably due to Luz and Willow literally screaming at them for being such shit heads in their own home) and are working on trying to be better parents. Deep deep beneath those cold, hard exteriors they do actually love their children. It just took an ice pick and a LOT of time to dig those hearts out. They of course pay for the entire affair, even when the Parks try to offer what they have.

Camila, who also had her own stern conversation with the Blight parents (maybe within the last 5 years? After she’s already met and gotten to know Amity and her siblings and found out about how they were treated growing up), was definitely okay with letting the Blights pay for everything. They had the money and while she didn’t go nuts with her seemingly unlimited budget, she also didn’t skimp on anything. Those girls deserved more than what any of them had to offer, so she made sure to put as much effort into the event as possible.

And definitely had to drag Odalia by the ear out of the Blight Manor for some of the event planning meetings. The Clawthorne sisters and the Parks were less than pleased to see Odalia show up to the meeting, but Camila explained that in order to start being a better mother, she needs to actually be there to support her daughter. And not just financially. She needed to make an effort. After a couple of strained meetings, Odalia brought some homemade treats that everyone loved and she admitted she made them herself. If she was going to put effort into these things, she had to start somewhere. She was pretty out of practice.

Alador was a little bit easier to teach how to be a loving and supportive parent while they planned everything out; he mostly just spoke at length with the twins. After having a super emotional conversation with his eldest kids, he vowed to himself that he was going to change for the better. He owed it to his family. He started spending more time one on one with Amity, then Willow (apologizing for the whole birthday situation from when Willow and Amity were little), then Luz. He found himself actually eager to spend time with them and learn about them and what his daughter means to them. He didn’t understand the whole polyamorous thing at first? But after spending time with his future daughters-in-law he understands perfectly.

By the time the wedding actually happens, both Blight parents have grown and developed their hearts enough to cry at their daughter’s wedding. They hold each other and understand how lucky they are to be allowed back into Amity’s life. They knew they didn’t deserve it, they’ve done so much wrong they need to atone for, but they’re grateful that their brilliant, beautiful daughter found people that taught her how to be so brilliant without any magic at all, just love. Alador can barely keep himself together during the ceremony; he and Edric are a couple of faucets with how many tears they’re shedding. Odalia’s a little more put together (a lifetime of rigidity will do that to you), but she’s smiling and holding her husband’s hand and crying too. She can’t remember the last time her heart has felt so warm.

How drunk does Eda get at the reception? Just enough to stop crying and start partying. Lilith is constantly having to drag her down from table tops and counters. (Alador and Edric are in similar boats. Amity has never in her life seen her father act like this. She considers it a wedding present honestly.)

[glitta]

Okay, so I need to just.. get some things off of my chest here. Because at some point soon I’m probably going to stop coming to the tag because I need to vent but I also don’t want to keep wallowing. It’ll make it harder to move on when I keep reminding myself of it and getting angry and sad about it.

First I’ll say that I am 100% convinced that they’re done with romantic barchie. I become more convinced each day. And I know some people are hanging on, which is fine.. you do you. But I also hope you see it soon, because I don’t want them to use you. I don’t think it’s fair, and we barchies have been through so much.

What convinces me that they’re done? First.. this was the perfect opportunity to go for it. If they didn’t explore it now, when the road was clear, then they’re not going to. Next..they made some callbacks to the first season, and they were in vrchies favour. The callback to the s1 party? Ended the same way. Archie going after Veronica. You would reverse it if you wanted barchie. And they even used the “if you love me” pilot song back in 5x06, which showcased Archie looking off - because he was feeling things for Veronica, as it turned out. So no, the answer to the question if he loves her is no. (now, I call bullshit and retcon, but this is the canon they’re going with now) Then you have Archie not showing indecision or being caught between the two and not showing feelings for Betty. I hate it, but didn’t. He said he was perfectly fine with booty calls, but I guess when it started mixing with Betty being upset after a nightmare, it started to feel wrong when his feelings for V were growing and he didn’t want to lead Betty on. Archie didn’t look happy when Jackson said he was juggling two girls.

Then you have Archie’s wildly different reactions to Veronica picking his key, and Betty getting his key. Like, honestly.. even if they wanted to go in a direction of him having to deal with lingering feelings for Veronica and then feelings for Betty getting deeper.. we would have seen him having feelings for Betty. Like now. And that’s not how it played. He just showed zero feelings. Which is a retcon from practically the whole series, but this is their new take. To erase barchie from the equation and guarantee the fans of those other ships their endgames.

Then you have “the break up scene”. Following on from the retcon, I’m just so frustrated with this because of the lack of effort. They didn’t explore barchie and let them really navigate their feelings and figure if they worked or not. They just had them had meaningless sex (apparently, at least on Archie’s end) and throw some reason out there why they ~don’t work~. That was full fanservice and closing the door by declaring that they.. don’t work. Even though it was full TELL and not SHOW. I still don’t even understand?

Take it back to Betty’s conversation with Kevin - where she was so happy and didn’t want it to end, btw. Like lets lay it out:

 “I don’t want to get too deep with him.”

“Why?!”

“He’s this lit window in the darkness. And I don’t ever want that light to go out.”

Okay.. so my take away from that is that she would like it to be more, but it’s a fear of losing him if things don’t work out and she’ll lose the light that he brings. Fair enough, I kind of get it.

But then when it’s a conversation with Archie, she just say’s they’re completely different people in their cores. ?? Being different people is not a reason to not be together if you get on. If you’ve been best friends your whole lives. If you have amazing sexual chemistry. And then with him being her light - damn, utilise that. Does it really make a difference if he’s helping her as a friend or romantic partner? Will that make a difference in not dragging him down if he’s there for her anyway through what she’s going through? It just doesn’t make any sense to me. And it’s not like Archie doesn’t have his own issues and trauma. But it’s again all in favour of the antis/other shippers who just want to know that BA are over and insist from their biased perspectives that they can’t ever work. The writers are full on catering to that, and I can’t for the life of me understand that obsession when you’re running the show to it’s end with those kinds of decisions. I just feel like they went.. right, we need to find an excuse why they wont work, and insert some word vomit and use the words “we should work because (cliche) but we’re different.” and think that just.. explains it all, even though it’s all tell and no show.

Anyway, I think that covered the biggest red flags I saw for the end of the ship. So now let me start on the thing that pisses me off even more even more than them fucking ruining my ship to serve the antis everything they want.

The engagement of the writers on social media leading up to this. You want to tell a story and do whatever you want? Fine. But I cannot grasp what kind of people take a ship that it’s fans have been waiting for.. for four years while they dropped hints and had them kiss and teased them.. and hypes them up and makes them promises of a romance coming up.. and then fucks them over in about 3 episodes by ending the ship for good. And rushing back to the other ship.

Who does that? How do they think it’s okay to fuck with people like that? And then they victimize themselves because people are calling them out. (note: not condoning any death threats or extreme things)

And it’s not even shippers that have a right to be angry, just as a side note. A fresh start and new things were promised. And they’re right back to the stale things? Make it make sense. You can’t.

You know, not that long ago I was still laughing at myself for loving a ship on Riverdale. Like no offense, but past the first few episodes I thought this show was a joke, and became more so. But I loved barchie. They were this little thing that made so much sense and seemed to have a set up for a beautiful story in the end. So I got invested in that. Jokes on me?

And I will never understand how they think it’s the best story to keep the same two couples together for the duration of the show with little to nothing else. They couldn’t keep them apart for 5 episodes through cheating and a time jump? It is SO insane and odd? It is so boring and complete fan service and actually ruins the show and makes it a joke?

And I’m happy that Betty and Jughead were “allowed” to have sexual relationships outside of each other, but at least 3/4 of these characters never got to experience another loving relationship outside of their high school loves..? (and I’m only excluding Veronica because I think at some point she loved Chad at the start..?) Now, I’m not dissing all high school relationships that go to marriage. But to just pair up two couples neatly with these core 4.. and have them break up for 7 years and still not give them these experiences and relationships is stupid and really fucking sad. You can love more than one person in your life, and it doesn’t discount anything.

And if they wanted them brought back together eventually, they could have actually had a much better build up back to it? Yet they’re just incapable of taking any time and wont keep them apart for more than a handful of episodes? I’ve never encountered a show like this, and that is not a good thing. At all.

And the fanbases they’re catering for are so entitled. And I guess that goes hand in hand with the constant fanservice, but it’s just such a toxic thing. I don’t think any fanbase are innocent angels, but as someone who has dealt with their shit and entitlement from season 1.. it’s just unbelievable and funny any time that they try to say that we.. I don’t know, deserved this? What does that mean your toxic fanbase deserves?

But let me clear about something: I’d never want your content and ships. More screentime, maybe. But even then the screentime and focus on two ships took over and at least the barchie fandom never wanted that with our ship. We were happy to share screentime with other characters. And if my ship had one cheating on the other with someone the other character had always worried about.. and they never apologised for the cheating? I think I’d be done. As it is there’s a lot of barchies that don’t excuse or forgive things that went down and unsure if they could forgive it and like the ship again.

And hey, I will take Archie being Betty’s light and never wanting to lose that vs I don’t know.. sharing darkness with someone else?

And barchie’s chemistry was unmatched. (and drew people back in that they will now lose.)

Anyway.. I think I’ve covered at least most of what I wanted to. Didn’t mean to get so anti-other ships at the end, but I’m just venting on everything.

[goldenraeofsun]

just say yes

The latest installment of this verse... or 5 times Dean tries to propose to Cas.

Dean bites his lip as he scans the menu. What the hell is branzino, and where the fuck are the prices? He flips the flimsy piece of cream-colored paper over, but no dice. 

Thank god there’s a steak listed among the five lone entrees. It’s probably five times his normal dinner price tag, but Dean already made peace with putting off buying that 30 year anniversary Rush album. It’ll still be there after his next pay check. 

Cas eyes him over the top of his own menu. “What are you thinking?”

Marry me.

Dean doesn’t say that, though. He has plans. Keep his trap shut until dessert. Tell Cas he’s going to hit the head. Pull a waiter aside and ask for two glasses of champagne. Return to Cas. Hopefully not shit his pants as he proposes. Drink champagne. Go home and have fantastic engaged sex.

Dean has high hopes for the last part of the plan.

“Dean?”

Belatedly, he says, “The steak.”

Cas hums. “That does look good.” He ducks back behind his menu. “I was thinking of getting that too. But maybe not.”

Dean takes a hasty sip of water. “Get the steak if you want it, man. We don’t go to places like this often.”

“I think I’ll get the honey glazed salmon.”

“Sounds good,” Dean says lamely. He drinks more water. At this rate, he won’t have to fake the bathroom run.

Aren’t they supposed to have alcohol by this point? They’ve been sitting at their fancy-ass table in this fancy-ass restaurant for nearly fifteen minutes.

Maybe he shouldn’t have picked the newest five-star restaurant to propose to Cas. He’s already on edge from the pressure, and the pristine white tablecloth isn’t helping. He can already see five ways he’s gonna stain it. There are several forks in front of him. For fuck’s sake, this place has an actual chandelier. Dean hadn’t honestly thought they existed outside of billionaire mansions and Disney movies.

The live music is nice, though. A sedate piano tinkles in the background, barely audible over the buzz of polite dinner conversation.

Dean catches a glimpse of himself reflected in the dark windows to the street. He looks a little sweaty, but not as nervous as he feels, thank god.

This is stupid. He shouldn’t even be nervous.

They’ve talked about marriage before. They’re adults in an adult relationship, so popping the question out of the blue would go down like the time Dean swept Cas away for a surprise camping trip. Turns out, Cas did not like camping. Which Dean would have known if he had asked anytime in the past four years.

But… that marriage conversation was two years ago. Dean wasn’t ready then; they both weren’t. Cas was still in a bad place with Jimmy and Claire, and Bobby had just died, so they weren’t about to roadtrip to Vegas anytime soon.

Now, Claire can have a civil dinner with her parents, and the hole Bobby left in Dean’s life can go unnoticed some days.

The deal is, Dean can’t chicken out tonight. He already told Claire to make herself scarce. She can sleep at her parents’ or at Krissy’s, Dean doesn’t care, as long as she is not crashing on their sofa when they get back from dinner.

Dean would rather read a hundred plagarized student essays on The Very Hungry Caterpillar than admit to Claire he failed to ask Cas to marry him. 

So, proposal time.

The waiter comes by with their drinks and takes their orders. Conversation is a little stilted, but hopefully Cas chalks it up to Dean being outside his comfort zone in this fancy-ass place. There’s no steady thunk of darts hitting a board or clack of pool balls in the background to put him at ease. Just that lame piano.

Cas makes porn noises over his salmon at first bite, which Dean totally doesn’t get. It’s fish.

“How’s your steak?” Cas asks as he surfaces and dabs his mouth with his cloth napkin.

Dean belatedly slices off a piece of his meal and pops it in his mouth. A generically bland compliment dies on his tongue. Jesus Christ - that’s some good cow. It practically disintegrates before he can chew. “Great,” he tells Cas honestly.

Cas hums in contentment.

“And since you’re practically at third base with that salmon,” Dean starts, “I take it-”

“Oh my god!” a woman’s voice squeals behind them.

Dean reflexively turns his head in the direction of the commotion. A few tables over, near the center of the restaurant, a man is down on one knee, and - son of a bitch.

Dean watches, his mouth hanging open, as the woman shouts, “Yes, of course, yes!” Waiters walk past their table with a whole fucking bottle of champagne. People at nearby tables fucking clap.

Dean resolutely turns back around to face Cas, at a loss for words that aren’t extremely loud swears.

“Isn’t that nice?” Cas says mildly.

“Yeah, very nice for them,” Dean says through gritted teeth. 

Of all the goddamn nights. Of all the goddamn restaurants. What are the goddamn chances?

Dean slices into his steak with extreme prejudice. If he could murder the happy couple, he would. With zero regrets.

Fuck it all, Claire’s gonna be insufferable.

  A CHARMING B&B IN VERMONT

Dean wakes up delightfully cozy with Cas spooning him from behind. No memory foam, but the bed is delightfully springy anyway. It was definitely what they needed after a full school day and a nine-hour road trip. Luckily, the owner of the bed and breakfast, a charming older woman actually named Mrs. Butters, was happy to wait up for their late check-in last night. She even had hot cocoa waiting.

Dean had held out a slight hope they could christen their room before they turned in for the night, but Cas passed right out before Dean turned on the lights. Poor guy had to deal with three sets of angry parents, and it was only the second week of school. Something about how their supposed-genius kids should be in AP Latin instead of the Fun Latin class - aka the one for dumbass seniors.

The mid-morning sunlight filtering in from behind the plaid curtains casts everything in a warm glow. The room itself is beyond charming. There’s a legit fireplace next to the bed, and they’re currently nestled under a patchwork quilt. The wood panelled walls give a distinctly rustic feel to the place, despite the reasonably sized television screen mounted on the far wall.

Dean turns over in bed so he’s facing Cas instead of the door. He resists the urge to poke him awake, and instead prods with a gentle, “Cas.”

Cas grumbles wordlessly. Fucker doesn’t even open his eyes, although Dean can tell from how his breathing changes that he’s awake.

“Cas.”

Cas wrinkles his nose and shoves his face into the pillow. “What, Dean?”

Dean can barely make out the words, but he gets the gist from the million times Cas has done the exact same thing. “I smell bacon.”

Cas’s eyes slit open. “So?”

“Don’t you want bacon?”

Cas huffs, and Dean can tell the exact moment he resigns to waking up. “Then go get the bacon. Nobody’s stopping you, Meat Man.”

Dean wiggles in bed, jostling the whole mattress. “Come on, babe.”

“I was sleeping.” Cas raises his head to look squint out the window. “It has to be before ten am. Since when are you a morning person?”

Since today is the day Dean is going to propose.

Instead, Dean reminds him pointedly, “Bacon.”

“Ugh,” Cas groans as he sits up. “I expect at least a blow job after breakfast if we’re leaving bed this early.”

Dean slaps his ass and jumps out of bed before Cas can retaliate. “Up and at ‘em!”

“I hate you.”

“Love you too, Cas.”

* * *

Claire 11:02 Did you ask him yet? If he said no I’ve got chunky monkey waiting

Claire 11:31 That was a joke Uncle Cas will say yes Theres no way he wont

Claire 11:40 If you’re not answering because of sex don’t tell me

Dean sighs as his phone lights up with Claire’s latest text. In the bathroom, Cas hurls again. 

Dean 11:41 No proposal

The bubbles showing Claire’s typing start almost immediately.

Claire 11:41 Are you serious? He’s not goin to turn you down!!!

Dean 11:41 Food poisoning

Claire 11:42 HAHAHAHA

Dean scowls at his phone.

Dean 11:44 Not now, Claire.

Claire 11:44 Wait Seriously?

Dean 11:44 We think it was something he ate at breakfast

Claire 11:44 Oh fuck I’m sorry for laughing

Dean rereads her text. He hasn’t ever received a straight-up apology from Claire before. Unsure of how to respond, he sets down his phone and gently pushes open the bathroom door. “How’re you doing, babe?”

Cas, slumped over the toilet and looking like death warmed over, raises his head an inch. “It seems to be easing up.”

“Really?”

Cas vomits into the toilet again. He groans.

“Shit,” Dean mutters as he crouches next to Cas. He rubs his back with one hand. “Do you think you can get some water down?”

Cas nods, so Dean straightens and fills a glass next to the sink.

As Cas drinks, Dean runs a hand through Cas’s sweaty hair. His forehead has a sickly sheen to it, and the back of his neck feels hot.

“Dean -” Cas breaks off to cough the water right back up into the toilet. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, no,” Dean says quickly as he refills the glass. “Don’t be sorry. This isn’t your fault.”

“But you had all these plans,” Cas moans as he takes the water to try again.

“We’ll do ‘em some other time.” He wets a washcloth and wipes down Cas’s forehead.

“Before Thanksgiving,” Cas rasps, “we’ll come back. I don’t want to miss the leaves changing.”

“Of course,” Dean says soothingly. He moves the washcloth to the nape of Cas’s neck. “On the bright side, you’ve been puking for, like, an hour. There can’t be much left.”

Cas, the dramatic bastard, nearly brains himself on the toilet seat with the force of his next hurl.

  HOMEMADE DINNER

After the disastrous fancy restaurant and B&B, a homemade dinner has to be the way to go. They’ll be in their own goddamn house - that has to cut down on the number of things that can go wrong.

Dean spends a whole week deliberating on what to make. He could do his usual burgers and fries routine, Cas’s favorite, but it should be special.

He settles on beef wellington. Pie for beef!

It’s a bitch to make - both because puff pastry from scratch is no joke, and hiding his first experiments from Cas means inventing increasingly convoluted reasons to get him out of the house. And, sure, every Youtube chef and Great British Bake off contestant has said store-bought puff pastry is fine, but Dean doesn’t want fine, he needs perfect. 

Dean picks a day when Cas has Model UN afterschool. It’s in the middle of the week, but at least Cas is guaranteed out of the house until six at night.

By 5:58, Dean is ready. The Wellington is cooling on the counter; the red wine has been breathing (whatever the hell that does) for the better part of an hour; and he’s showered and made himself presentable.

His phone pings at six pm on the dot. 

Heart sinking with foreboding, Dean taps the screen.

Cas 6:00 I’m going to be late for dinner. There was an accident with chemistry club a few minutes ago. The building had to be evacuated.

Dean 6:00 Are you OK?

Dean takes a moment to hammer the heel of his hand against his forehead. One fucking break. That’s all he’s asking for. One goddamn evening to go right.

Cas 6:00 Yes, and the kids are too. They’re airing out the halls now, but we won’t be let in for another half hour.

Dean picks up the wine with the hand not holding his phone. 

Dean 6:01 What time do you think you’ll be home?

Cas 6:01 7:30 maybe? I’ll keep you updated.

Dean swigs back a gulp straight from the bottle before he can answer. Fuck this.

Dean 6:02 Great! I’ll order pizza when you’re on your way back

Cas 6:02 Meatlovers?

Dean 6:02 Unless you’d like something else

Cas 6:02 No thank you :)

Dean flips on a recorded Jeopardy! episode as he cleans up the kitchen and texts Charlie. He has a free dinner waiting for her if she can hightail it to his place in the next hour and never speak of it again.

  HOMEMADE DINNER #2

If Dean is anything, he’s stubborn. John Winchester raised no quitter. Try, try, and try again. And try a fourth time, when the first three go sideways.

Burgers, this time. They don’t need a days’ worth of prep. And they’ll go over well.

“Dig in,” Dean says as he sets the plate down in front of Cas.

“This looks delicious, Dean,” Cas says sincerely as he picks up his burger.

Dean waits, and he can see the moment Cas tastes the molten cheese stuffed in the middle of the patty. His eyes go wide with surprise.

“Like it?”

Cas nods vigorously and inhales the rest of his burger in record time.

“There’s enough for us to have thirds,” Dean says smugly. 

Cas smears ketchup all over patty number two, and beams at him. “These make me very happy.”

Dean laughs. “That’s the goal-”

Cas’s phone rings.

Dean falters.

Cas stares at him expectantly, waiting for Dean to continue.

“You should get that,” Dean says, his shoulders slumping as he sets his burger down. It’s probably a bad sign he was already half-expecting things to go south. “It’s probably important, or whoever it is would’ve texted.”

“We’re in the middle of dinner,” Cas protests even as he reaches in his pocket to pull his phone out. “It’s Claire,” he says, baffled, before he picks up. “Hello?”

Cas sets down his half-eaten burger. He listens, his brows slamming down forbiddingly as Claire’s voice gets louder and louder, but still not loud enough for Dean to make out actual words. Silently, Cas takes his napkin off his lap and pushes his half-empty beer in Dean’s direction. Finally Cas says, “Yes, of course, Claire.”

Dean frowns as Cas lifts his gaze up to meet his. “Jimmy and Amelia?” he mouths.

Cas shakes his head, speaking into his phone,  “Does Kaia need a pick up from the hospital?”

Dean goes cold. Kaia was actually one of his favorite students. While she was in his class, she won a Scholastic Gold Key and honorable mention for two of her horror novellas and always did the reading. But Dean and Cas haven’t seen her since she broke up with Claire the summer before college.

“Is she okay?” Dean asks quietly.

Cas’s mouth thins. He gives a short nod.

Dean sighs and picks up the plate uneaten burgers. He can probably reheat the patties. The fries won’t keep, though, so he leaves the plate in front of Cas. He shoves a few in his mouth and gets to his feet.

He’s halfway through cleaning the frying pan when Cas gets off the phone with Claire.

“Are you heading out?” Dean asks gruffly while he gives the iron a particularly hard scrub.

“Yes,” Cas rumbles as he wraps an arm around Dean’s waist. “I’m sorry to cut dinner short.”

“Hey, it’s Kaia. ’Course we gotta help.” Dean forces an understanding smile on his face. “I’ll make up the couch while you pick her up?”

Cas squeezes him gently before moving away. “Thank you.”

“You got time for the cliff notes on what happened? Why’d you get the call?”

Cas leans against the counter next to the sink. “Kaia was in a car accident. She’s a little banged up, but mostly fine. A few bruised ribs and a possible concussion.” He shakes his head, disbelieving. “You know Kaia was never especially close with her foster family, so Claire got the emergency call.”

“Huh.” Dean grabs a plate to clean. “It’s been two years since the split.”

Cas shrugs. “I’m not sure what their situation is. I know Claire was surprised. She’s already in her car, and she should be here by midnight. Hopefully she recognizes Kaia’s injuries,” he frowns, “and they won’t try any… any ‘hanky panky’ tonight.”

Dean laughs, and if it’s slightly higher than normal, Cas doesn’t seem to pick up on it. He grabs Cas and kisses him square on the mouth. “You are ridiculous. Nobody says hanky panky. What the hell is wrong with you?”

Cas scowls. “They have to be well past kissing at this point.”

Dean snorts a laugh. “Yeah, that ship has long sailed, dude.”

Cas throws his hands in the air. “We don’t have enough sleeping surfaces to separate them.”

Dean sets the dirty plate down to face Cas fully. “Do you really think they’ll get back together? Kaia broke Claire’s heart not too long ago.”

Cas throws him a look like he wonders where the hell Dean’s logical brain has flown to. “Are you asking if I think couples can get back together after a harrowing break up?”

“… no.”

Cas shakes his head ruefully. “You’re more like Claire than I ever was, and you took me back.”

“Huh,” Dean wipes his hands off on a dishtowel, “you might have something there.”

“You do call me the smart one,” Cas says as he pushes off the counter and heads to the doorway. “It has been known to happen.”

“Smartass,” Dean corrects loudly as Cas grabs his coat and keys.

“Semantics.” Cas doubles back to kiss Dean a proper goodbye, and it’s just as electric as it was when they were seventeen. Cas tastes like Dean’s cooking, and he’s been letting his stubble grow out, the short hairs rasping against Dean’s palm as he cups Cas’s cheek.

“I love you, Dean,” Cas says as he draws away.

Dean grins. “I know.”

Cas huffs an almost-laugh as he heads back towards the door. “Now who’s the smartass?”

  IN BED

Cas, the son of a bitch, falls asleep before Dean can wring out a second orgasm out of him. Such a godamn shame. Just goes to show, they really aren’t teenagers anymore. At least Dean got to use the new vibrator he bought for the occasion and the edible panties. 

Dean flops back in bed. Maybe he should put the proposals on pause. Clearly, marriage isn’t in the cards. He can be a bit dense when it comes to Cas and him, but there’s dense and there’s denial.

It’s been two and a half months. Five proposal attempts. They’re nearly halfway through October, and he’s no closer to getting a ring on Cas’s finger than he was in late August, sweating bullets in that stupid fancy restaurant.

He can’t keep planning and failing to propose to Cas every other week. One, he can’t handle the stress and constant brainstorming. And B, he’s way behind in writing college recommendations and grading his freshman’s essays on Animal Farm. 

Cas isn’t going anywhere. Dean isn’t going anywhere. So Dean can cool the proposals for now and start fresh in January.

  SCHOOL ASSEMBLY

“I hate these,” Dean mutters to Benny. He frowns across the top rows of the bleachers where the seniors are supposed to sit. There are a few notable faces missing, but nobody that belongs to Dean’s homeroom, so he couldn’t give less of a shit. Below them, sit most of the juniors, and pretty much all of the sophomores and freshmen.

“It’s thirty minutes, brother,” Benny says, patting his arm. “You’ll live.”

“Shows what you know,” Dean grumbles back as Jody strides to the middle of the gym, microphone in hand. He asks Benny, “Do you know what this one’s about? Bullying? Cliques? Hugs not drugs?”

Benny shakes his head.

Jody sighs loudly into the mike. Clearly, she wants to be here just as much as he does. “Thank you all for coming,” she starts like any of them had a real choice. “First things first, Halloween is in two days, and while costumes are allowed and encouraged, don’t be racist.” She grimaces. “God help me, I don’t know why I still have to say that. If you are unsure if your costume is racist, it probably is. Wear something else. Secondly…”

Dean tunes her out. Instead, he scans the bleachers again, this time looking for Cas. He should be with the other sophomore homeroom teachers, but there’s no sign of him. Dean frowns. He can’t remember the last time Cas played hooky. And never without Dean. Dick move, Cas.

Movement at the edge of the gym catches Dean’s eye, and he watches, puzzled, as two students roll out one of the old projectors. The overhead lights turn off.

Is Jody seriously going to make him sit through a slide show? They’re wasting a prefectly good Friday morning on a goddamn PowerPoint?

The projector flips on, and the first photo is… of Dean. 

What the fuck? His mouth drops open in horror. In the picture, he’s in his junior year of high school - he can tell from the hair - with a bunch of people he hasn’t seen in fifteen years. Plus Cas, who’s at the next table over in the cafeteria, head bowed over a book and slightly out of focus.

There’s a click, and text scrawls along the bottom of the screen, Destiel Met in Edlund High School Fifteen Years Ago! 

The projector flips to the next photo, this time showing Dean’s senior yearbook picture.

More than a handful of students peer excitedly in his direction, undoubtedly hoping for a reaction.

Scowling, Dean cranes his neck to search the crowd for Charlie’s flaming red hair. She’s the only one who refers to the two of them as “Destiel”. Everyone else uses their names like sane people.

But the projector clicks to a photo of Cas, and Dean can’t help getting distracted. In the picture, Cas is alone at a table in the library. God, he was cute back then. His cheeks were a little fuller, and his hair was curlier. He still had the same intense blue-eyed stare, though. Patented Cas.

It all started with a tutoring session. Young Mr. W needed help in Latin, and our future Latin teacher, Mr. N, was up to the task!

Dean is going to kill Charlie. He tries to get to his feet - maybe she’s hiding behind Jo or something. But Benny’s hand grips his upper arm, holding him in place. “Don’t,” Benny says softly.

“What?” Dean demands as he tries to shake Benny off and fails. “Do you know what the hell is going on?”

“Stay.” The corners of Benny’s mouth twitch like he’s fighting a smile. “Watch.”

Dean huffs a breath and turns back around. If it was anyone else, Jo or Charlie, he wouldn’t trust a word out of their mouths. Benny, though, he’s not the type to make Dean sit through this without a good reason.

But that’s all ancient history. Destiel really got started five years ago, in this very gym.

The projector shows a picture of their class reunion, when Dean met Cas after ten years of no contact. They’re standing pretty close together (but that doesn’t mean much with Castiel What-Is-Personal-Space Novak), and they appear deep in conversation.

Since then, they have been inseparable.

Dean and Cas at a softball game. Dean and Cas at homecoming. Dean and Cas at GSA’s pride party.

Here’s to fifteen more years of Destiel!

The students clap and cheer with more than a few laughs.

Musical Interlude! flashes in front of a picture of Dean playing guitar to a group of pajama-clad students at last year’s Senior Lock-In.

The lights flip back on, and Dean blinks as his eyes adjust. By the time the spots have cleared from his vision, the projector has been wheeled away, leaving the main floor of the gym empty.

A staticky crackle echoes around the gym. And - is that Def Leppard playing on the speakers?

As the intro to Rock of Ages plays, the cheerleading team troops out from the locker rooms. 

They start a routine Dean’s never seen before. To Rock of fucking Ages.

The cheerleaders sings along with Joe Elliot, “What do you want?”

Dean’s mouth falls open as the entire high school chants back, “I want rock and roll. Long live rock and roll!”

By the time they get to the “Rock of Ages” chant, all the students are on their feet, clapping along with the beat and cheering.

The song dies down soon after, and Dean, a broad smile on his face, turns to Benny. “I don’t know what the hell is going on, but I dig it.”

Benny laughs. “Good. He’ll be pleased.”

Dean’s just about to ask who he is (he’s 99% he knows), when Cas walks out from behind the bleachers. 

Cas takes the microphone from Jody. He coughs nervously, waiting for the students to settle back down. “Thank you,” he says to the cheerleading team. “That was... awesome.” He glances up at the assembled students and teachers. “Dean-” he pauses as the cheers and clapping start up in earnest “-can you please come down here?”

But Dean’s frozen to the spot.

Benny gives him a not-so-light jab with his elbow. “Go on.”

Dean shakily gets to his feet and makes his way to the gym floor, and he swears his legs are about to give out from under him.

“Alright, you got my attention,” Dean says with forced bravado. “What’s up, Cas?”

The students hoot and holler.

Cas reddens as they die down again. Clutching the microphone in a death grip, he says, “Dean, we have been together for a number of years.”

Dean grins, a wonderful, all-consuming giddiness filling him the longer he stands in front of Cas. “I know, dude. I was there.”

The students laugh and someone, probably Jo, wolf whistles.

Cas swallows. “I wanted to do this here, where we first met, where you first asked me out on a date, where we had our first kiss.”

“Don’t tell ‘em about all our firsts on school property,” Dean says in a stage-whisper, “or Jody’s gonna have an aneurysm.”

Over a fresh round of student laughter, Jody puts her head in her hands. Donna, the school guidance counselor, pats her a few times on the back.

“Dean Winchester,” Cas says, and, shit, his hands are shaking. “I have loved you for more than half my life, and I look forward to far more than fifteen years by your side. Will you marry me?’

Dean’s not stupid. He had a strong hunch, ever since Rock of Ages played - aka the cassette he put in the Impala the first time he took Cas for a drive fifteen years and a lifetime ago - that this was what Cas was leading up to. 

He’s mostly surprised Cas had the guts to pop the question this way. There was a reason Dean tried to keep his proposal plans mostly to the two of them. One of them is practically a social hermit, and it’s sure as shit not Dean.

“Just say yes, jerk!”

Dean spins around, nearly tripping over his own feet in surprise. Fuck, that’s Sam. His giant of a brother is hovering right outside the gym’s double doors, beaming at the pair of them. Claire gives a little wave from where she’s half-hiding behind him.

Dean turns back to Cas. He can’t think about Sam right now. Or Claire. Or the five hundred students with their eyes on them. 

Only Cas.

“Cas,” he says, and it feels like the whole room is holding their collective breath, none more so than Cas, who looks like he’s about to pass out. “Man, I’ve loved you since I was seventeen. Of course I’ll marry you.”

Cas lets out a shaky exhale of relief, and Dean laughs. He takes the microphone from Cas’s now slack grip, steps all the way into Cas’s personal space, and kisses him.

The cheers from the assembled students are nearly deafening.

[liliesoftherain]

My Hero Academia Main 3 Boys x Reader

Ch. 15 Hakamata vs Bakugou

Masterlist

A/N: OKAY WAIT I CAN EXPLAIN SDFJEVJ- 

A big thank you for everyone who was waiting patiently. I know I haven’t been active lately, and I’ve been getting asks about this story and honestly I felt terrible for not updating, not because I was feeling pressured. So don’t think it was anyone pressuring me, honestly it wasn’t. I haven’t been feeling that motivated to write. School had kicked my ass the last few weeks, especially with this covid and everything happening, I’ve been exhausted. My job was ‘essential’ enough to keep me working throughout everything, and i had been picking up shifts and working my ass off, and honestly? I’m over work but lol need that money right

But I want to continue this story, I want to finish it. I have so much planned and I don’t want to abandon it. So I wont(: Get ready for updates, cause they’re coming. My other stories, I don’t really know what to do, I’ll make a post about that later. For now, enjoy this; it’s short, but I’m already working on the next chapter(: 

SORRY FOR THE FIGHT SCENE THIS WRITING BREAK MADE ME EVEN WORSE WHEN IT COMES TO WRITING THEM LOLOL SORRY HUNS MUAH ENJOY ANYWAYS. 

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TAGLIST: @rizamendoza808 !(: @iris-suoh !(: @quicksilverfangirl​ !(: @shortperson202 !(: @noodlenerd101 !(: @matchamidoriya​ !(: @thorsbtch-captainnoobmaster69me​ !(: @pastel-prynce​ !(: @sunkissedneptune​ @monetfatalia​ !(: @legit-fandom-trash​ !(: @lovethewitchofendor​ !(: @dekuxlink​ !(: @water-melone98​ !(: @helena-way07​ !(: @nothing17-7​ !(: @hopelessdisasterr​ !(: @karmaboundlife​ !(: @lunamoonmint​ !(: @ihatemyselftoinfinityandbeyond​ !(: @beew​ !(: @kaylees1414 !(:

You watched the next battle feeling more upbeat, thanking everyone as they gave you their congratulations. You were in awe at the fight between Bakugou and Kirishima, seeing as the former was on the defensive until the latter was suffering due to the overuse of his quirk. Bakugou had sent relentless attack after attack, managing to knock Eijiro out and win the battle. 

“With that vicious win, Bakugou advances to the third round! Ladies and gentlemen, take a look at our final four.”

You glance up to the big screen to see a picture of you along with Bakugou, Todoroki, and Iida on it, the cheers erupting all around the stadium. You chug down your 5th bottle of water before turning on your heel to walk out; you hadn’t sat down, choosing to stand by the entrance just to watch the fight. 

You throw your bottle in the trash as you head down the hallway, spotting a boy making his way towards you,

“Hey, Izuku,” you wave, a smile on your face, “you’re looking, well, better.”

“O-oh, hey! Yea, I guess so,” he smiled back sheepishly, his arm in a cast and he was bandaged all over, “Recovery Girl healed me up, enough to walk at least.”

“Shouldn’t you be resting up then? It’s not smart to make your injuries worse you know.”

“I’ll be fine, really, I don’t want to miss any more battles. This is where everyone’s efforts are paying off, including yours. Congrats on being top four, (y/n).” He beams, there was that excited gleam in his eye, the one he gets when he watches a pro at work. 

“O-oh, thanks-” You blush at the look, being cut off as he starts to rant.

“Tokoyami is super strong, and you managed to win! I mean, since I also found out about Dark Shadows and Tokoyami’s weakness I assumed you would have no trouble taking him down. Not saying you wouldn’t have won without a weakness! I don’t doubt you and your abilities, really, you’re an amazing fighter! I wish I would have been able to see your fight, but at least I’ll be able to watch you go up against Kaachan-”

Your laughter brought him out of his word vomit, and he felt the blush grow along his face. He knew he often had issues with muttering whatever he thought, but for some reason it was worse when he was with you; his tongue felt heavy in his mouth, his head was light, and he couldn’t help how he spoke his mind. He liked talking to you, telling you everything he thought. You always gave him your full attention, no matter how crazy, long, or irritating it was.

Maybe that’s why he found you so captivating?

“S-sorry, I was doing it again..”

“Don’t be, and you were with me in spirit Deku! Even if you didn’t get to watch. Plus, I doubted myself against Tokoyami in the first place, I wouldn’t blame you if you did.” You watched as his eyes widened.

“But I didn’t! I-”

“I know, thank you. I mean it,” you bite your lip to contain the grin that wants to break across your face, “you always believe in me and I appreciate it. You’re the best, Izuku.”

The large blush that spread across his body made you giggle once more before you continued forward, glancing back to give a dazzling smile. 

“Now go watch those matches, I’ll be listening for your cheers when it’s my turn!”

“Ye-yeah…” The goofy grin stayed on his face the rest of his journey to the stands. 

You made it to the waiting room, breathing in deeply as you steal your nerves for the next match. You were calmer this time, not in the sense of feeling confident, oh no.

You were going up against Bakugou Katsuki; one of the strongest and smartest guys you've ever met. He had such an incredible display of reflexes and skills, for this fight you knew you had to be smart and cautious if you wanted half a chance against him. 

The more you thought about it, the more you felt as if your head would explode. There weren’t really a lot of ways to go about it; he didn’t have a huge drawback like yours or Tokoyami’s, his greatest weakness was most likely the prolonged use of his quirk, and the strain it provided on his muscles and fibers in his arms. He wasn’t stupid either, he quick reaction times and well thought up plans-as long as Izuku wasn’t involved.

He always lost it when it came to Deku. 

The sound of announcements rang overhead, and you snapped out of your thoughts to see you've been sitting for about five minutes or so. You stand and leave the room, heading out of the waiting room and towards the arena. 

Walking up the steps, you saw your opponent already waiting. The pillars in the corners erupting with flames, the crowd being drowned out by the booming voice of Present Mic. 

“And now, Bakugou vs Hakamata! These two have been coming out high in the ranks all day, let’s see which one can handle the heat better! Those destructive explosions or that fiery light! There could have also been sparks of a burning romance between these two, will this be the end of it!?” 

“You’re jumping to conclusions again.”

You desperately ignore the teasing words, knowing your dad was definitely going to have a talk with you once this was all over. You noticed the slight flushing of Bakugou’s face, knowing he must’ve been annoyed by the accusations as well. 

“Oh well, ready!? BEGIN!”

Wasting no time, you spring forward, using your quirk to give you a boost as you drew your arm back for an attack. Bakugou cocked his own right arm, setting off an explosion to get you to back off. You dodge, bringing your arm down and having light extend to the ground to push off and throw you up into the air. Maneuvering behind him you extend your leg, knocking an elongated beam of light into his back.

He let out a grunt, and without missing a beat turning and reaching to grab a hold of your ankle. You willed the light to wrap around your ankle, raising the heat in hopes of him letting go.

“Fuck!”

He still held on, despite any pain, throwing you over his shoulder onto the concrete. You caught yourself, landing in a crouched position. There wasn’t a clear way to beat him from a distance, nor was there a clear victory to beat him in close combat. The longer he continued, the more he’d sweat-the more his quirk would be fueled.

All you had to do was bring the heat, be fast, get him out of bounds. 

Bakugou stared straight into your eyes and saw how determined you were, the steely focus that left him feeling weird. As if he were hyper aware yet dazed at the same time; you were strong, there was no doubt in his mind that you could kick some ass, even if you had some doubt against yourself. 

However, no matter how large your smile was, how bright that stupid sparkle in your eye was after you won a match, he couldn’t afford to lose. He was angry; angry at people for thinking less of him, angry with people assuming he was all talk, angry with Icy Hot-acting as if Deku was more of a threat than he was. He needed to fight to prove himself, and he’d take down anyone in his way. Even if it was you. 

He threw an open palm towards you, a large exploding firing that you couldn’t dodge went straight towards your face. Thankfully you weren’t sent flying back, your quick thinking allowing you to extend your light as a brace to hold you steady at the impact, mentally thanking Todoroki for the move.

Since you were able to steady yourself, along with having the cover of the smoke, countering was a move Bakugou clearly didn’t expect as you lunged forward and landed a punch against his cheek.

“That was a solid hit little miss Hakamata delivered!”

The moment your fist connected you saw the look on his face; that glare and that feral grin of his as it spread across his lips.

“FUCKING DIE!”

His shout accompanied a larger, more forceful explosion, this time successfully knocking you back. You rolled along the ground, quickly picking yourself up as you sent multiple beams of light yourself to counter his explosions. They were hindering your aim, knocking into each other and effectively missing him. 

It was all too frustrating.

You thought of a way you could beat him, but to do so you’d be taking an even bigger risk than you did with Tokoyami. At least in that battle, you were pretty darn sure your light would do the trick. You tried a move, a calculated risk, and it all fell into place thankfully. This time however, you had one chance and if you screwed up; it’d be all over. 

If there was a way to maneuver him closer to the edge, you could rush at him with your light speed and hit him with a giant blast of light to knock him over the edge. 

All you needed to do was get him to step out of bounds, you could do this. 

Throughout your thinking, you had been countering Bakugou’s explosions, and vice versa with him flinging explosions your way to counteract your light. It was getting easier to see his power growing, the more sweat he was able to produce was giving him that boost. While in turn, your body only began to grow even warmer, uncomfortably so. You wanted nothing more than to rip off the new jacket you put on, to cool off in some way, but you were unable. 

This battle was going on for too long, and you couldn’t risk it continuing, so you slowly started to back away and put distance between you two. 

Bakugou didn’t seem to notice, so you hoped, as you made it far enough away to not be so close to the edge but just enough to give you a boost. You grunt, the heat feeling stronger as you let it course through you, glowing once more and rushing at the boy in front of you. 

When you were using your light speed, despite how fast you traveled, you were able to see just about everything around you. The contrast was weird, but it was one you were used to with practice. You were unable to grab or touch anything in this form, since you were practically light yourself, so to be able to get Bakugou out of the ring you had to quickly go back to your original state. 

Doing so, you only had a split second to see Bakugou’s eyes widen as you used your body to ram into his chest. You hear him gasp out, the force of you slamming into him causing the breath to escape from his lungs, as he was sent flying back. 

Your hands on his chest draw light, extending it to help you further, sending you both in opposite directions; instead of following him out of the ring, you fall backwards as he skids across the ground and flies through the air towards the ground.

‘This is it,’ you think to yourself, watching him fall. 

The smile on your face was immediately wiped away as you saw how Bakugou twisted in the air, arms pointed down towards the ground as he used his quirk to propel himself upwards. You try to stand, pushing away your dizzy spell as you try to send more light beams to get him off course and have him fall. 

It was no good. 

Katsuki used his quirk to rush you this time, just as you did him, and sent wave after wave of explosions your way while still in the air. Just like that it was over, the force of his quirk knocked you off, the heat only making your head spin as you fell onto the ground off the arena.

Your body was hot, it was aching, and you were trying to breath but found it difficult to do so-you reached your limit. Two big moves in one day was too much for you to handle, and you saw black in the corner of your eyes. 

The stadium was silent for a moment, Midnight’s voice being the last thing you heard before your eyes fluttered closed.

“Hakamata is out of bounds, Bakugou is the winner!”