#maybe i've been following it too long because god sees some of the chapters i just skimmed through thinking

[tonya-the-chicken]

It is hard to read any bnha critique posts because, frankly, the plot is so shit I do not understand why you would waste time treating it seriously for even one second

[we-stan-cale]

I have enjoyed some of the TCF reaction fics, but I feel like there's a major problem.

Namely, that it's really hard for fic writers to stay motivated for over 700+ chapters, so it feels like they all start off strong for the beginning (especially rescuing Raon) and then peter out. We never get to the really good stuff.

Never reach that flashback when Cale reads the letter from the GoD, or see reactions to Choi Han rushing over to see Kim Rok Soo after getting Choi Jung Soo's records. Never have them see the Sealed God's test, and really... Post-apocalyptic Korea horrified Alberu, for good reason. Not that it's explicitly stated, but when is it ever? He had quite the reaction when he was trying to decide what to tell everyone else.

I've had some thoughts on how I would do it, but fair warning - I'm not much of a writer, and will probably never write it. All my respect for the ones that regularly write fanfic because I have like - less than a handful? Maybe, maybe, if I haven't moved on after finishing this reread, I'll try writing it myself.

The other thing is that I've been reading part 2 - only as far as eatapplepies has translated as I find mtl more confusing than helpful - and I'm really liking the Heavenly Demon. He seems to have fallen for our Cale pretty hard, and I'm interested in seeing how that goes.

So I have been playing around with ideas.

First - Dodam is trying to find 'that terrible bastard', and is dragging around his Choi Han.

He reaches Korea. Og!Cale as KRS, specifically. He has his own attribute, one to help him track down Cale, so he can pull up visions/memories related to that.

He pulls up the dream meeting between Cale and KRS.

There are a few team 1 members present, particularly Kim Minh Ah. Cue a bit of chaos, some 'aha' moments, and the long and the short of it is Dodam is going to pull up some of just what they're team leader is up to. (And if Dodam can figure out exactly which world or dimension to to next, and OG! Cale gets the bittersweet ability to see how his deal with the God of Death prevented the destruction he'd lived through, well... That's fine too)

During that brief moment, the Henituse noticed some strange mana fluctuations and managed to get Rosalyn there. She's basically able to tap into the feed and see and hear what's going on.

And divine intervention (like perhaps a god of love) extends the feed to the Heavenly Demon.

What would follow would be an abbreviated version of the key points. Sure, it loses some of the flavor... But we don't actually need, say, the amusing anecdote where an elf mistook Cale for a dragon.

Anyways, the more I thought about it the more I thought about how team 1 would react.

Because the minute they see those monster statues you know they'll all be going 'what the fuck?!?'

They will probably also nod knowingly at some of Cale's more shocking plans. Like hey, there he goes agreeing to help the Mogoru Empire put out the fire he started with the Whipper kingdom.

Nod, nod

Just like he did when they were dealing with that one corrupt guild

And if they ever get as far as seeing the Heavenly Demon, I'm sure one team member will be like 'Is.. is he flirting with Team Leader-nim?!?'

Cue stories where Team Leader Kim Rok Soo avoided a honeypot - except now they're thinking maybe he was just too dense to notice?

[thedreamlessnights]

Someone to shed some light - pt. 3

Astarion x gn!reader (Upcoming NSFW)

{series masterlist}

Synopsis: In which everything goes to the hells.

Warnings: Mentions of blood and minor injuries, as well as graphic descriptions of a corpse, killing, and death.

Word Count: 3.3k

A/N: Apologies for the delay in the update! I've been working on multiple other Astarion fics (which shall soon see the light of day!) and I so, so appreciate the love for this fic! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter ❤️

The golden sunlight of the outdoors meets you like an old friend, and gods, is it sweet. You’ve longed for the warmth of it on your skin for days now. You’ve ached for the soothing comfort of its glow the way one aches for a lover. The fresh morning air is crisp and clear in your lungs - it’s like you can finally breathe again.

Granted, you’re only allowed about ten seconds of these luxuries before you’re being stuffed back into the carriage, but, as you’ve come to learn: ten seconds is much better than nothing at all.

From one prison to the next, you think. You’re too restless to be Erelin’s pawn. It should have been someone else. All of this. Being royalty, being imprisoned, dressed up and paraded around like a doll. You’d trade for someone else’s life in a heartbeat - anything to get away from this hellish role you’re forced into - but circumstances dictate that it can only be you. 

You.

And you aren’t meek. You aren’t used to mindless obedience. Maybe you were born for the crown, but you’ve been raised to be nothing more than a tavern worker with a flaming-hot temper. It’s not something which fades easily. 

All this being escorted around is making you want to tear your skin off and melt into a nameless, non-important mass of muscle and bone. 

Still… you doubt that anyone would handle this well. Astarion has long-since adapted to this lifestyle, but you still see his brief longing, the quiet flash of loss on his face when he enters the carriage. He hates being carted around as much as you do. 

For a long moment, you stare out the window and watch the sights of the city turn into a blur of trees.

Honestly? You hope this fucking carriage runs off the road.

But it won’t. You know it won’t, because nothing has gone your way lately. It’s only a matter of time before you snap. Your patience wears thinner by the hour. The last few days have been nothing but biting your tongue, subduing the urge to pick a fight with anyone unlucky enough to be sharing a room with you.

Anyone but Astarion, that is. In a rather surprising turn of events, he seems to be the only one you can stand lately. Maybe it’s because he’s well-fed, for once. Maybe it’s because you can’t stop thinking about the feeling of his teeth in your neck. Or maybe, he was simply never as intolerable as you thought he was.

Whatever it is, it’s the only thing that keeps you sane throughout the ride. He reads (again) and you think (again). If your life is going to consist of this, over and over, then maybe you should jump out. If you die on the journey, so be it. They won’t take you back alive; you’ll make sure of that.

But despite the lighter clothes you’re wearing, and despite the knife and other supplies you’ve tucked away - and the fact that you really should leave now if you’re ever going to - you can’t find it in yourself to run.

Maybe it’s the fear, but more likely, it’s Astarion. The thought of leaving him behind, knowing he’s suffering just as much as you but either can’t or won’t follow? You can’t do that. You just can’t.

So you sit, feeling like you’re going to claw your eyes out. 

“Should I be concerned about the… twitching?” Astarion asks, sounding more bored than anything else. “It’s very distracting, darling.”

Gods. Is your anxiety really so obvious? 

You paste on a saccharine smile, curling your nails into your palms. “I’m always like this,” you lie through your teeth. “You never noticed?”

“Funny,” he remarks, scowling. You can always see the most of Erelin in him when he does that - the same sharpened eyes, the dark circles underneath, the nose scrunched up in distaste. “You know, you really should-” 

But you never find out what he thinks you should do. His words cut off mid-sentence as his gaze flicks away from you, focusing instead on the front of the carriage. “Shit,” he says.

You don’t get the chance to ask him what’s wrong. 

There’s a sudden, searing flash of heat, the gut-churning sensation of falling, and the world goes dark. 

For just a moment, you think you might be dead. 

It’s nothing. Weightlessness. The feeling of being cleaved from your body. No pain, not even a little - and that’s what scares you the most. You’re left scrambling for something, anything, any feeling or sensation, but you find… nothing.

Is this death?

Not like this, you think, not even fully able to feel your own panic. I won’t go like this!

And, like a jolt back into reality, you suddenly inhabit yourself again. 

Your nails are digging into your palms. The smell of smoke is pungent in your throat, dark and hazy in the air. Your leg is throbbing and you can taste blood in your mouth, but there’s no fire in here. Not yet, at least. 

You’re in a strange, crumpled position, weighed down by gravity. Your bag of stolen supplies is still looped around your wrist. Astarion’s ribs are digging into your side from where you’re draped over him, and he’s swearing something fierce.

“Hells,” you find yourself saying, dazed. “What in the hells was that!”

“I don’t know, dearest,” he snaps. “Would you kindly remove yourself from my ribs?”

You have to push off of him, contorting yourself into a strange position as your eyes adjust to the smoky air. The carriage must have flipped on its side, because the two of you are sitting on top of the window - which has thankfully held without breaking. The door is above your heads, splayed open, and you have to pull yourself up through the opening and crawl out, collapsing into the grass. Astarion follows right after you.

He’s a little worse for wear, as you suspect you are, but doesn’t seem seriously injured. You test out your leg and find that, after a mild twinge of pain, it holds your weight. The cut in your mouth has stopped bleeding.

You two are incredibly, incredibly lucky.

Before moving any further, you dig through your belongings until you’ve found the sharper of the two knives. Whatever is out here - whatever had knocked the carriage over - you’d rather not face it unarmed. The weight of the weapon feels good, familiar. You’ve missed having one at your side. 

Now to take in the scenery.

The carriage is demolished. The wheels have been completely broken off, the horses are nowhere to be seen, and the edges of the door are still smoldering. In the distance, there’s yelling and more smoke, accompanied by the sound of swords clashing and agonizing screams.

One of Erelin’s guards lies dead a few feet away from you. 

He’s long past help, blood steadily oozing from the arrow piercing through his throat. You’d barely known him, hadn’t even liked him, but something twinges in your chest all the same. 

Something has gone terribly wrong. You need to find out why.

“How incredibly reassuring,” Astarion says behind you, approaching the corpse. He bends down and rummages through the guard’s belt, searching the pockets until he finds what he’s looking for - a gleaming silver dagger and its sheath.

You’re still eyeing the arrow, trying to place where you’ve seen it. The feathers at the end… those aren’t Calthirian colors. Not Ancunín, either. Where the hells have you seen them before? The name is on the tip of your tongue, but you can’t place it.

“We have to move,” you find yourself saying. “We can’t stay here.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Astarion replies. “Into the fight, darling?”

You finally rip your eyes away from the corpse, swallowing hard as you shake your head. “Until the fighting is over, we should stay hidden. We don’t know how many of them there are.”

He sighs. “You know, when that carriage flipped over, I was so hoping we were going to get something exciting,” Astarion remarks. “But here we are, I suppose.”

He follows you into the treeline without further complaint. 

The two of you perch down behind opposite trees, close enough to see what’s happening, far enough to run if you need. The lingering smoke is still thick enough to blur out any clear picture of what’s happening, but you have the growing feeling that one group is winning - and it isn’t Erelin’s.

The sounds of the battle slowly go quiet. A low hum is left in the air, raising the hair on the back of your neck. As footsteps approach, you and Astarion go tense, keenly listening in to what’s happening.

You chance a careful look around the bark and find two men, silhouetted in the smoke. They approach the carriage, peering into the empty box you’d just come from. Then, one of them kicks it, sinking his blade into the charred wood in frustration. 

“Fuck!” he screams, pacing around the mess. Blood seeps from a wound on his arm, and he favors his left leg when he walks. “All that bullshit! Tracking, hunting, camping out for days. Slinking through the mud! And what does it get us? Our men dead and fucking nothing in return!”

“Calm yourself, Barrett,” the other answers. “They couldn’t have gone far. You know how royals are - they can barely dress themselves. We’ll find them.”

He steps closer to analyze the guard’s body, and as you eye the symbol on his armor, you finally realize where you know the arrows from. The Zhentarim - a group of common mercenaries. One of them, Marvin, used to frequent your tavern, carrying a quiver of those arrows on his back. He was rowdy and loud-mouthed, but he liked to croon his favorite songs after a few pints, and his coin was always good. 

You hope he’s not one of the men that are now dead in the field. 

As Barrett and the other spread out to search the trees, you glance over at Astarion and find him already looking at you. He raises a brow: a question. You jerk your head toward the man heading your way - Barrett, wasn’t it? - and he nods in response. 

You creep forward, waiting, listening as the footsteps get closer and closer. Your fingers close tightly around the handle of the knife and your breath stills. When the sound is close enough to touch, you act. 

Your blade is in Barrett's throat before he can scream. 

His blood is warm as it spills over your fingers, the metallic smell staining into the air. Something chokes in your throat. Fuck, you think. After a long, excruciating moment, he crumples to the ground. He leaves only silence. 

You stare down at his corpse, breathless and shaking. It’s been a long time since you’ve had to kill, and you despise the way it feels in your chest, the sour taste it leaves on your tongue. Most of all, you despise the way that this scene will haunt you for the rest of your life. You can never forget a kill.

When you turn to look at the other Zhentarim, you find him in a similar condition. Dead. A knife wound through his throat. Astarion is splattered in blood, kneeling down and wiping his dagger clean on the corpse’s sleeve. 

As soon as he glances over and sees the state of Barrett, he rises to his feet and cocks his head, taking in the sight of you the way a starving man might look at a feast. “You know,” he starts, a wicked glint in his eye, “I didn’t think you had that in you. You really are full of surprises, aren’t you?” 

His tone is almost as admirational as it had been when you’d offered him your neck, which is mildly concerning. 

You fold your arms across your chest. “I could say the same for you, Your Majesty. Are you always so eager to kill?”

He clicks his tongue. “Oh, what’s a mercenary or two? They were going to kill us.” 

He’s right, of course. You know he’s right. But he hadn’t answered your question, and his words aren’t making you feel any better. 

Alright then, you think. You’re situationally allied with a bloodthirsty prince - and very much in both contexts of the word. He also happens to be your husband. You have absolutely no idea where you are. What else is new? 

“Maybe they had supplies,” you offer, shifting the subject. “We should look.”

“Then lead the way, dearest,” he says, sheathing his dagger.

Annoyance twinges under your skin. You’d hoped the incessant pet names would end now that you’re out of Erelin’s grip, but… well. It was too much to hope for, wasn’t it?

Barrett and the other Zhentarim have only sparse pickings on them - a few pieces of gold, dented weapons, rotten food - but the field is full of corpses, and it’s not long before you and Astarion stray over. 

The ground is wet with blood. It squishes under your boots, repulsive and sticking to your soles like the mud. You try not to think about it.

The suitcases from the carriage are still there, contents sprawled out on the grass, but there’s nothing useful inside. The heavy clothes will only weigh you down. But the dead Zhentarim on the field have left behind several supply packs, and you’re quick to grab a few, handing one over to Astarion.

In just a few minutes, you’ve picked up a shortsword, a shortbow, several quivers worth of arrows, a sparse amount of food, and a decent amount of coin. Bedrolls, too. Nothing to indicate where the group had come from, though. Nothing to show what they were looking for, or why. 

Maybe it’s pointless, but you’d like to find out why a group of mercenaries had just attempted to blow you up. Calthir would want you dead or alive - Calthir, you could understand doing all this - but the Zhentarim? Calthir would never hire someone else to do such a crucial task, so who the hells had sent them?

For a while, you skim through the field, making sure you hadn’t missed anything. You add a few potions to your pack. A pear. A bottle of grease. Just as you’re about to call it quits and head out, you see something that stops you in your tracks, gazing at the body near your feet.

Marvin. 

He’s here. Dead. You almost hadn’t recognized him with the damage done, his face swollen with blood, his expression drawn open in agony. It’s so different from the face you know, but you’re sure it’s him. 

He’d had a wife, you think. Or was she just a lover? You can’t remember exactly, but she’d been someone dear to him. Someone who will miss him now that he’s gone. His voice was rich and sweet, and the world will never hear it again. He’s gone - and for what? Whatever he’d been wanting to accomplish here, he clearly hadn’t gotten it. 

“What is it?” Astarion asks, coming up behind you. “Pitying the dead?”

You swallow hard, running your tongue along the raw cut on the inside of your cheek, but your eyes stay where they are. “I knew him.”

Astarion follows your gaze down to what’s left of Marvin, then looks back up at you. “Er - to be clear - you do mean him?” he asks, gesturing towards the corpse. “The dead mercenary sent to kill us?”

You nod. “I… I used to work at a tavern. He would come in almost every night.” Your voice breaks and you have to pause, taking in a shaky breath. “I liked him.” Suddenly self-conscious, you glance at Astarion, then clear your throat. “Besides. We don’t know for certain that they were here to hurt us.”

“Of course,” Astarion replies in mock sincerity, lifting a hand to his chest. “They only shot down our carriage because they wanted us to be safe. My mistake, darling.”

You can only shake your head in response, staring down at Marvin’s face. A tightness pulls in your chest. Would he have tried to kill you? Would it have made any difference to him that it was you? You… you aren’t sure. 

Astarion is right, after all. If they’d wanted the two of you unharmed, then there were a thousand better methods to get you out. No. They’d wanted you hurt, or dead. Perhaps Marvin hadn’t known it would be you, but now that he’s gone, you’ll never know for certain.

You kneel down, ignoring the dirt and blood underneath you, and press Marvin’s eyelids closed. A quick epitaph runs through your mind. 

Wherever you are, I hope they let you sing. 

Your throat goes tight. After a moment, you rise, dusting the dirt off of your knees and ignoring Astarion’s clear disapproval. “What now?” you ask.

He lifts a hand into the air, giving it a loose twirl. “Now we try to get back to my mother, I suppose,” he sighs, glancing at the carriage in the distance. 

“What?” Your voice is bewildered, incredulous, even, but you can’t stop it. “You can’t be serious. After all of that, you’re just - going back to her?”

His gaze snaps back to you, and his eyes narrow. “Of course I am,” he replies, straightening. “Where else would you have me go? Hiding away in the woods? Sheltering in a flea-infested village? No, my sweet, I’ll be finding myself a warm bath and a soft bed as soon as possible, thank you.” 

He pauses, sucking in a breath and tilting his head. “Besides. She’ll find us sooner or later. Trust me - it’s easier this way.”

You scoff, gesturing around at the field. “Well, then. I hope you know where we are, because I sure as hells don’t! And I will not be running back into my own personal prison with open arms!”

“Fine!” he exclaims, throwing up his arms in frustration. “By all means, run into the woods! Die out there for all I care!” 

He turns away, and you’re left staring at his back.

You stomp over to the carriage, all too aware of the fact that you’re both acting like children. Your anger doesn’t stay long. It seeps out of you, leaving you with things you’d rather not feel. Fear. Desperation. 

Astarion remains in the field, collecting things you’d missed from the bodies. You almost expect him to leave, but he doesn’t. Neither of you do. He sits down on a rock. You pace back and forth.

You won’t go back to Erelin. That’s not debatable. Not now, not when you’re free again, not when the stupid carriage is demolished at your feet just like you’d wanted. 

But… gods, you don’t want to be alone, either. You don’t want dark nights in a place you don’t know, nothing to shield you but the sword in your hands. You don’t want endless paranoia, constantly looking over your shoulder. And, well… as much as Astarion may frustrate you, you are fond of him.

So, after a long, painful moment of swallowing your pride, you go back. 

He must hear your footsteps, but he doesn’t look at you. He keeps his gaze on the blade he’s polishing, even though it’s already gleaming. You can’t think of what to say, and you certainly won’t be apologizing, so you simply watch him, keeping your arms crossed over your chest.

“Changed your mind, darling?” he finally asks. His tone is bored - a performance of indifference. He could have left without you. But he hadn’t. 

“No,” you start. “I won’t be going back to her. Not without a fight.” You suck in a breath, relaxing your hands from the fists they’ve balled into. “But for now, we should keep together. At least until we’ve found some form of civilization.”

When he doesn’t respond, you keep talking. “It’s safer for us both, Astarion. I mean… we don’t know if there are more of them out there, trying to kill us. I’m good with a sword. I can hunt.” 

I can give you blood, if you need.

The words go unspoken, but they’re thick in the air.

His head tilts, and he finally sets down the blade. “What a tempting offer,” he purrs, his voice as smooth as satin as he turns toward you. “I do love seeing you beg. I accept.” He rises to his feet, sliding the dagger back into its sheath. “Well? Where to?”

And if that isn’t the question of the year.

tags:

@amica-aenigmata-naboo @sadslasher13 @peachy-possum @the-lonely-abyss @maddiedrmr @po0psies

[gotham-daydreams]

How are you?

Busy, unfortunately!! Started college not too long ago, and all that - won't bore anyone with the details, though!! Sorry if I worried anyone with all the silence - I didn't even realize how long it's been! Wow!

Few things!!

1. HOLY HELL WE'RE AT 3K FOLLOWERS???? ALREADY???

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO CATCH UP AND COME UP WITH SPECIALS BUT OH MY GOD... There are so many of you!! And you all come in so fast!! It actually breaks my heart a little only because I haven't shown my best yet (or definitely feel like I haven't), which will definitely change! You guys deserve so much better! Though I'm still unsure what to do for specials... so ideas would be nice! I'd like to also do some late ones- since you guys 100% deserve it, and they're still milestones!! Though for 3k, I'll do something in the spirit of Halloween!... or fall if I'm late again- 😅

Regardless! I'm so happy for all the support!! It really is something that so many people see my posts, no matter how old, and interact with them! It's overwhelming, honestly, but I deeply appreciate it! Even more so when I have a habit of going to get the milk for a while, before coming back with a few cookies - LOL!

2. I've been seeing that my work has inspired a lot of people to make their own stuff, and it's super endearing and heartwarming!!! Really, even if I don't really comment and only interact with the posts on my main account, I still see them! And I love them!!! I'm honestly really surprised how much the Not [ ] Series has inspired others or served as inspiration for their work. It baffles me but I'm also really glad I was able to do that for someone! It's still insane, especially since I really don't see the series as my best work by a long shot, but I do still really admire and appreciate how people still took inspiration from it :]

To which, yes! I do read all of the works people tag me in LOL! I may not say much! But I do see it!! You're all amazing writers and I can't wait to see what you all make in the future!!

3. I will definitely try to catch up on asks! There have been a lot of them - which I'm very happy to see! So now that I have some time, I'll start to tackle them! I have a break coming up, so if not now, then definitely then! So, soon!

4. YES. CHAPTER 4 IS IN THE WORKS!! I doubt it'll be longer than 3 - I learned a lot during that, and I plan to not repeat my mistakes and take what I've learned. Though we'll see how it goes in actual execution!! I already forget what I've said on that end, and thanks to time I have made a few adjustments to the original plan, though the ending remains the same! Very... eventful!!

5. I AM TRYING TO GET A NEW SERIES OUT!! Because damn it do you guys deserve some quality on this blog!!! I'm not the best writer, obviously, but again, the Not [ ] is a farcry from what I can really produce, and even if I view it as a taste of what's to come - still!! Been also thinking of making it one of the romantic stories I had planned (seeing as a lot of platonic stuff has come out, which is cute!), but we'll see! 'Waiting' Reader has been on my mind... I'll say that much! Though maybe don't hold your breath...?

Overall, a little tired as usual, but glad to be back, and really kick start writing again! 💛... I say, at 5:30 am, like every great author!

[luxerians]

Hi, a ghost reader here, I've rarely commented on any novels or reposted them, but girl, your story is one of the best I've ever read!!!! I've been looking at your tumblr and Ao3 profile everyday and see if you've updated or not.

I started reading your story in chapter 5 and since then I've followed every day you've updated, you really write in a wonderful way and you transmit all the emotions in a unique way, when Inho and the reader (aka our girl) had that conversation during the watch I was all the time kicking my feet and laughing as if I was living it, or later when Inho started to be more affectionate with her and took every little opportunity to touch her GIRL I WAS LIVING IT AND ENJOYING IT.

You've managed to make me feel every emotion on the edge of my seat, I've never been so tense for the last two chapters.

There was a moment where I wanted to scold the reader because it made me nervous and I just wanted her to be safe, I didn't know what would happen when she meets the Frontman, BUT EVERYTHING WENT SO WONDERFUL, the way he looked down from above, the silence, how he sacrificed himself for Gi-hun and the Frontman's surprise, the way he said the flower phrase and how he killed the guy who shot her just for disobeying him and hurting our girl, my god, your novel has made my brain chemistry happy 😭.

And in the last two chapters, godsssssss when Inho said "she wants to play hide and seek, let's do it" I just wanted to scream, of course he knows where she is, (I've wondered if he's seen the cameras or he's just letting her play in his big house) I want to see what he will do when they meet, I know it will hurt the reader, but I just want a reunion, some words to give each other, or those looks full of warmth and intensity, some kiss or caress, I'm desperate for the bare minimum, for crumbs and will wait as long as it takes for an update, so don't worry about the amount of words, rest assured we will always enjoy everything you write!

Sorry if this is all messy, but I'm just writing everything that comes to mind!

I also love how you introduced the main character, the relationship she forged with everyone, the way she expresses herself, the shades of grey in her personality, the way she doesn't show that she's too innocent or too bad, how she doubts her intentions and how she has carried them out, and the genuine desire to get back with her sister (as an older sister I felt represented, I would do anything for my little sister).

I don't think I have more to say (for now) but I adore you and I'm sorry for the messy or maybe bad writing, English is not my first language and I find it hard to translate some things!

Heeyyy hi there! I'm so ecstatic when I read that you're a ghost reader! I am so happy that you enjoy the story so much that it encouraged you to leave a feedback. I appreciate this so much!

Wait, you said you've been reading since chapter 5? That's like since the very beginning of my story! I'm so moved by that and you still stay with the story! Now I'm motivated to do my best with the next chapters!

Not only that, I'm so happy to know that you felt those emotions during those sweet Young-il moments because I wrote them hoping the readers could feel it too. I'm so so happy you enjoy it!

I'm so glad, upon reading your feedback, that my story does not bore you. I know this story is a slow burn and some readers would find many moments in this book boring because they either already watched it in Squid Game or deem those moments unimportant. I know there are readers that skip certain moments (it's their preference and that's fine) and they just want to read the In-ho/Young-il moments, so I kept trying to rack my brain thinking of scenarios to pull those readers to read everything. In the end, I published the chapters with open heart and just hope for the best. So upon reading your comment, I know you're one of those precious readers who really read through everything and enjoy them.

"I want to see what he will do when they meet, I know it will hurt the reader, but I just want a reunion, some words to give each other, or those looks full of warmth and intensity, some kiss or caress, I'm desperate for the bare minimum, for crumbs" = Ohhh you will like the next chapter so much! I hope you enjoy chapter 16 which I will post soon enough!

Other than that, I'm also happy to hear that you like the reader. It's hard to create a blank reader that everyone would love. So far, many readers seem to like her and I'm grateful. This is why I love feedback so I could improve my writing more.

"I'm sorry for the messy or maybe bad writing, English is not my first language and I find it hard to translate some things!" = Noo your English is actually fine! I understand very well and clearly. I get your message and I appreciate this novel-esque feedback so much! Thank you so much for giving my story a chance, for being there since the beginning, and for staying here still. I hope you enjoy the next chapter.

[little-shadow-club]

Because of your texts I'm obsessed with SLR... Just freaking out over your gay texts about Suho and Tiel.

Although I don't know which chapter of the novel the Manhwa is in...(Could you send more of that lovely Suhiel/Tieho dialogue?

Also, I read your Pirates Au fic.... IT WAS DELIGHTFUL TO READ

I would love to see more of your writing work.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH AND YIPEEEEE MORE SLR FANSSS, and I'm so happy you read my fic thank you SO MUCH I'm on my way to either send more or crash out because I've yaoi too close to the sun, 50/50 possibilities. Either way I'm really happy to know you enjoy Sutiel/Tieho. As for the Novel we uhhhhh Tiel doesn't exist in the novel (still it's such an amazing novel for me tho, hope the author just manifests Tiel in the future to yaoi about novel suho and him there— no seriously I KNOW the novel author's other work. I KNOW he can write that homoerotic shit while also not giving in to the 'male power fantasy must have waifu' trope LIKE OF ALL PEOPLE I TRUST WITH PLANOTIC FRIENSHIPS. IT IS DAULLLLLL. If Tiel had been in the novel I would have assended as the Yaoi Bodhisattva, that author can write God bless him every day.) and the manhwa has decided to just completely go off the rails, so he's a manhwa only character (I'd even go as far as saying someone decided to omniscient reader' it and place themselves in the story to be homoerotic foils with MC).

They haven't met in canon —kinda. As far a I remember this started first with just being funny 'haha Suho but evil' but then it spiraled from the moment someone on Reddit went "Suho is going to Miho from a dangerous situation and fall in love with him." Classic damsel in distress style, and then I re read the chapter where Tiel got rescued by Suho and I was like... Oh Oh he... he questioned why Suho save him which means he's questioning the reason of why we protect others, which is the main archetype of Suho, that he's protecting others... Upon fusing with 3rd fragment he decided to make Suho his ally, oh, oh, he thinks he can sway Suho to his side, the one person that can literally tilt the scales of war in this galactic battle. Oh he's apostle, a ruler to an extent, controlling over the living while Suho controls the dead. He's a blind follower for his creator destroying the world while Suho is reconstructing a world his father once destroyed. *Gets hit with flashbacks of Link Click, Alien Stage, Devil man Crybaby, ORV, and other shows with black and white yaoi* OH THIS HOMOTRON 3000. IVE HEARD OF THIS YAOI BAIT BEFOREEE. IVE KNOWN THIS DOOM GAYS BEFORE

AHHHHHHH. And now I'm here. Currently on the twelfth bloc note, 4 docs, 100+ messages of brainrot on discord and 1 hour recording of the divergence plot. I have written drabbles these past 4 weeks so much you'd think it was my 2025 resolution (it is).

Anyways outside of this one shot, and the other series I posted on anon (scared moots know I'm making yet another series) I have shared a lot of my thoughts on discord since it's a more relaxed format than posting the blogs, so if you wanna share brainrot with me on Sutiel, I recommend entering @jdah 's server.

Beautiful server (tho I have been away there for a month since I got exams... in <12 hours rn. But anyways thank youuuuu so much for reading this long rant. I will be sure to post more Sutiel content as I go! (Maybe even Greek Mythology content since my next semester's studies are all about that. Same on taking notes for ceramics and Arts so I can allude to so many romantic moments for a uni AU. Or maybe A lost kingdom AU. Ghosts AU. Mythical AUs. Canon divergence where Tiel meets Suho years before. Some arranged marriages. Some Isakaid! Deserted Villain x Duke. Gosh there's a lot! I've even got some screenshots from the notes I've been taking just about everywhere ;-;.

[eyesontheskyline]

oooh talking about that scene in 3x02 i think that kickstarted their whole relationship, but im curious to know what was the moment in cm or maybe what season when you felt like something shifted between them? for me, season 5 after foyet’s attack is for sureee a turning point. In my head, the recovery from 9 stabs in a month would’ve been an absolute bitch. And considering that hotch had no family bc they were in witsec, how did that man manage to change his dressings, take care of his wounds etc etc?! Getting that glimpse of rossi telling morgan that Prentiss is driving hotch to and from work kinda connects the dots that she was probably the one that spent the most tine with him and helping out. Bc no matter how hardheaded that man is, he was fucking stabbed, there’s no way he was able to do shit on his own # just a thought

Yes! So okay in between writing my S7 fix-it, I'm also (oh god I just looked at the word count) like 23,000 words into writing a ficlet / chapter for each episode from S2E15 onward, and they deal with Emily and her friendships with the whole team but tend more Hotchniss as they go on. So I've been thinking a lot about where those little shifts are.

I think she sees a different side to him in the burn ward in S2E19, when he sits with the dying woman for no reason other than not wanting her to die alone. And he tells an against-protocol lie that's just kind.

I think the shift to him trusting her as a person is definitely S3E02, and then once she has that trust it's absolute - I think there were moments before that where he liked her, but this is a different thing. They have this intense, life-in-hands trust in each other from this point on that becomes the foundation for everything.

It feels to me like they get gradually closer and more in tune with each other from that point and I could ramble forever about that but if I ever want to actually publish that fic I probably shouldn't.

S4E02 where his eardrum does its thing in the cemetery and she follows him and touches him while he is vulnerable feels like a Thing to me. And then the next ep is Minimal Loss where he's listening to her being beaten up and looking tortured, and then we see her hug Reid and Hotch just staring at her. So that also feels like a Thing. Like I'm suuure he drove her home or showed up at her place or something after that.

And then by the time Foyet gets him, she's already the one who's like 'where's Hotch?' and can't relax because it feels like something's off with him. Sits with him in the hospital. And I think you're right - I think she would be the one to show up to give him any practical help he needed, because that's the clue we get from her driving him to work after and him just accepting that.

So yeah, I became a shipper the first time I watched S4E03 Minimal Loss, but watching it back I can see something developing between them before that. I think they both just know how to care for each other quietly, in this quiet, understated way that never feels like too much.

But one of the things I really enjoy about them as a ship is that there are multiple different plausible starting points - some other ships for me feel like they hit a point in canon where they've missed their chance, and I never get that from Hotchniss. I think you can start something right after he signs his divorce papers, or after he's left the show (my first Hotchniss thing after a long break was set in S13), or more or less any point in between.

[sixhours]

Chapter 12 - The Ghosts of Babylon

Series Chapter Index | Read on AO3 | Complete

Rating: Explicit, 18+, here be smut and violence Series tags: Joel Miller x You, Joel Miller x Reader, Joel & Ellie, mostly follows canon, LGBTQ+ characters, y/n is bi/pan, y/n is ~45, violence, pregnancy, abortion, medical trauma, emotional trauma, panic attacks, sex work, suicide, smut, slow burn, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, romance, no use of y/n, reader has longish hair, Joel can lift you, smallish age gap (~11 years), I've probably forgotten some so please let me know <3

~*~

Your late-night trysts always happen at your place, never his, so you’re mildly surprised when, after a satisfying round of fucking, he asks you to come over. You’re watching him dress, admiring the lean line of his hips, the gentlest swell of his stomach, the way he frowns at the buttons in concentration, when you realize he’s been talking.

“...tomorrow afternoon? Was hopin’ you could come by the house…”

You raise an eyebrow.

“It’s nothin’ serious. I just, uh…wanted to ask you somethin’.”

“So ask,” you say, allowing yourself a long, languid stretch. You catch him watching you, color rising in his cheeks. 

“I uh, need to check on somethin’ first.”

“Well, now I’m getting suspicious, Miller.”

He smirks. But then he leans down, takes your hand, and slowly kisses the tips of your fingers one after the other, the act so intimate it puts a lump in your throat and makes your face burn with…lust? Shame? The two are so deeply entwined you don’t even know.

“I promise. Nothin’ serious.”

~*~

You’re almost at the end of the cul-de-sac when you see her dash out of the house, running past you, a blur of brown hair and pale skin. 

“Ellie!”

Joel barrels down the front steps, calling her name. He’s fuming when you meet him, looking over your shoulder, pacing like a wild animal in a cage.

“Goddamn it,” Joel mutters, flushed, jaw tensing.

“What happened?”

“Found these in her bag,” he says, digging something out of his pocket and tossing it to you; a small foil parcel. You unfold the crinkling aluminum to find four hand-rolled cigarettes, the smell of stale tobacco wafts from within. 

“She hid them from me. I told her if she was gonna smoke, she’d have to sleep in the garage because I’m not dealin’ with that in the house. Told her she was going to get cancer and be dead by 30 if she–but then she ran out. She won’t fuckin’ listen .”

He kicks at the ground in frustration, glaring down the street to where Ellie has already turned the corner.

“Why don’t I go,” you offer. “Maybe she’ll talk to me.”

He looks at you warily, then sighs. “Fine. God, I’m too fuckin’ old for this.”

“I’ll be back.”

You turn the corner onto the main street, following Ellie’s distinctive Converse prints in the snow. They lead you down the street, through an alley, and across the field to the stables.

“Ellie? You in here?”

You find her sitting on a bale of straw in one of the stalls with her favorite horse, Shimmer, sullenly petting the animal’s flank.

“He sent you to do his dirty work, huh?” she scowls, faded sneakers kicking at the floor. Shimmer whinnies lightly.

“I volunteered. Wanna talk about these?” You hold up the silver foil packet.

“No,” she shoots back.

“Ok, that’s fine. We don’t have to talk. We can just…hang out.”

She rolls her eyes but doesn’t budge from her perch. You pet Shimmer, running your fingers over the horse’s soft nose. 

“I wasn’t even gonna smoke!” Ellie bursts out after a few minutes. “I was holding them for Jesse. Joel just…freaks out about everything.”

“Well, that’s his job,” you say. “Keeping you safe.”

She snorts. “More like holding me hostage. Like one stupid cigarette is going to kill me when there are fuckin’ clickers everywhere.”

“Yeah…I get that,” you say. “My dad was overprotective, too. I always figured it was because I was an only child.”

“He’s not even my real dad,” she mutters into her knees, eyes shimmering with tears. “He’s just…Joel.”

You nod slowly, wondering if Ellie looks at her baby cousin and asks herself why the other little girl will get to grow up with both parents and a whole extended family when she didn’t get even one.

You have a sudden flash of inspiration and hold up the little packet. “You wanna try one?”

Her eyes widen in disbelief. “What?”

You shrug. “If you have a light, I could use a smoke. Then you can see what all the fuss is about.”

Her eyes narrow. “You’re a doctor. You’re not supposed to smoke. You’re supposed to tell me to stay away from drugs and wear my seatbelt and don’t drink until I’m 35 or some shit.”

“Ever heard the phrase, ‘Do as I say, not as I do’?”

She frowns, pulling a lighter from her pocket, considering it before handing it to you. “Promise you won’t tell Joel?”

“Promise.”

You pluck one of the gray-white sticks from the packet and light it, taking a quick drag, allowing yourself that first hit. The tobacco is so old it’s tasteless, like smoking the straw you’re standing on. You hold the cigarette out to Ellie, gesturing for her to do the same.

Ellie takes the butt and examines it, then puts it to her lips and takes a deep inhale, grinning as the smoke wafts out her nose. She starts to giggle, but suddenly she’s doubled over with a coughing fit, gagging, eyes watering.

“Holy shit,” she croaks when she’s recovered enough to speak. “That’s…that’s fuckin’... nasty .”

You smirk. “Pretty gross, huh?”

“Barf. Why does Jesse even like this stuff?” she says, handing the white stick back to you. You stub it out on the stall door, then tuck it back into the foil and roll it up.

“I bet he doesn't,” you offer. “But some people think smoking makes you look cool.”

Ellie wrinkles her nose. “Is that why you do it?”

“No. It’s a decent appetite suppressant when you can get the good stuff. Not this shit,” you say, wiggling the foil packet. “This is basically lawn clippings.”

“Can I have ‘em back, then?” she asks slyly.

You snort. “I don’t think so, kid. Your dad would have my head.”

“Jesse’ll be pissed,” she sighs, but you get the impression she’s not too concerned about the boy’s feelings. You watch as she reaches out to stroke Shimmer’s side, thoughtful.

“You know he had a kid, right?”

“Who? Jesse?”

“Joel.”

You lean against the stall door, trying to keep your voice light. “He did, huh?”

“Yeah,” she says softly, and you can see the gears in her head turning, calculating. “She died in the outbreak. I wonder if she…smoked.”

Her movements have taken on an almost hypnotic quality. It’s easy to see where her mind goes, looking at you out of the corner of her eye. 

Am I good enough? Can I be enough for him?

“I’m…sure she got into all kinds of stuff,” you say carefully. “I know I did when I was your age.”

She sniffs at this but doesn’t say anything, letting the silence stretch.

“Ellie–”

“I think he’s lying to me.”

“Who, Joel? Why would he lie to you?”

“To protect me.”

“Protect you from what?”

She doesn’t respond, just keeps rubbing the horse, hand over hand, following the grain of the coarse hair, smoothing it.

“Protect you from what, Ellie?” you press, softening your voice.

She looks straight at you then, a glare that’s almost a challenge, daring you to break her open and spill her secrets. You see the hurt and fear in her eyes and wonder what other burdens she’s carrying alone.

“We should go,” she says abruptly. “Joel’ll have a fuckin’ aneurysm.”

~*~

Joel is sitting on the steps, waiting where you’d left him. Ellie runs ahead and you hang back, giving them some privacy. They talk, him with his hands on his hips and her looking down, picking at her cuticles. Eventually, he grips her shoulder gently and she nods, eyes downcast. Then she darts up the stairs and into the house.

“Christ,” he murmurs as you approach, dragging his hands down his face and collapsing back onto the steps. “I’m fuckin’ this up.”

“Nah,” you wave it off, joining him. “She’ll be fine.”

“Those goddamned friends of hers are a bad influence.”

You cock an eyebrow. “Because she’s the picture of innocence?”

This earns you a glare, but there’s no malice behind it, just fear.

“You let her smoke,” he grumbles. “I could smell it on her. And you,” he wrinkles his nose.

“I…may have employed a little reverse psychology. I don’t think she’s going to take up the habit.”

“So now you’re a shrink, too?”

“No…but I was a 15-year-old girl once. And I didn’t have to grow up in a hellscape of martial law and mushroom zombies. Maybe give her a break.”

He scowls, frowning down at his hands.

You nudge his shoulder lightly, leaning into him. “You mad that I let her try one?”

He shakes his head. “I did the same thing with–”

He stops abruptly, swallows hard, then says softly, “I’m not mad.”

You know he had a kid, right?

You clear your throat against the sudden heavy silence. “So, did you just ask me over here to play shrink, Miller?”

He takes a deep breath. “Right. I, uh…I wanted to know if you…wanted to have dinner. Here. With us.”

Us.

“It was her idea,” he says quickly, tilting his head back toward the house. “She’s taken a liking to you, I guess.”

You blink, barely masking your surprise. “Oh?”

He bites his lip. “She doesn’t have a lot of, uh…role models. You’ve made an impression.”

“I’m flattered,” you say, all the while internal alarms are ringing, guilt pinging your core. She’s a target, not your friend. “But I don’t think it’s a good idea. With…us.”

Us. That word again.

His eyes meet yours and you think you see a flash of disappointment, but he nods. “Yeah…yeah you’re prob’ly right,” he frowns, then nudges your shoulder. “S’your loss. I make a mean Chef Boyardee.”

You snort. “You can tell her I’m allergic to 20-year-old canned pasta if it helps.”

“She’s mad enough at me for both of us these days,” he sighs. “Won’t drag you into it.”

You sit in companionable silence, a new and unexpected side effect of your physical relationship. Sometimes you silently curse Theresa for being so right about this–that you and Joel are more alike than you’d care to admit.

After a while, you stand and stretch. “I should get back. They’re going to wonder where I am.”

Joel nods and says he’ll see you around in his quiet southern drawl.

Ellie’s words replay in your mind all the way back to the clinic.

I think he’s lying to me.

[hoonieswhore]

XLVIII. The shining

Previous / Masterlist / Next

Written chapter under the cut!

Word count: 5,9k

Warnings: The usual curses. SMUT, MINORS DNI. Mentions of cockwarming. Perv!Hoon. Dry humping. Fingering. Pet names. Daddy kink. Rough sex. Dacryphilia. Dirty talk. Manhandling. Edging. Overstimulation. Breeding kink. Cum play/Cum eating. Praise kink. Sex jokes. (I think that's all)

Taglist: @donghoonie-3 @venusssmoon @silkenthusiasts @tobiosbbyghorl @sunshinesquokka (if you want to be added, send an ask<3 Make sure that your age is visible on your profile)

“Welcome to Australia, we hope you enjoy your trip!” the flight attendant said as you got out of the airplane, followed by your boyfriend and your bandmates. Everyone greeted the older woman before you walked into the airport for the checkout and your luggage.

“I'm finally home!” Jake exclaimed as he smiled brightly, you never saw him smiling like that. “I've never been so excited, guys I have a long list of places that you need to see,” he turned around, finding you giving a gentle smile as the other boys rolled their eyes, tired from the long flight.

“I literally can't feel my ass,” Heeseung mumbled before yawning. “Where's Chan hyung? He said he'd be here by now.” As soon as he finished the sentence, you heard a familiar voice behind you.

“Hey guys! Hope you had a good flight!” Chan said, greeting everyone with a hug before he stopped at Sunghoon, the younger boy gave him an awkward smile. “Oh come on, brother in law,” he teases before wrapping his arms around him and hugging him a bit too tight, making everyone laugh.

“We're so happy to be here,” Jay said, hugging Chan again. “Hyung, you're getting married!”

“Oh shut up, I'm literally shitting my pants, I'm so nervous,” the oldest said, sighing. “Anyways, let's go! You'll stay at the hotel where we'll do the reception,” he said, walking towards the parking lot of the airport as you followed him.

“Dude, I still can't believe you're getting married in two days!” you said excitedly as you grabbed his hands while the boys left the luggage in the trunk of the van.

“Yn, please stop mentioning that, I'm already nervous,” he whined with a big smile, “but I'm so happy too, it's such a weird feeling.”

“Still, I'm so happy for you! And so excited to be the flower girl, oh my god!” you smiled happily, releasing his hands as the boys walked towards you after closing the trunk.

“We're ready!” Jake said, wrapping his arm around Chan, “when will we meet your girl?” he asked curiously.

“Well, you'll meet her tonight,” he replied, “I want you guys to come for dinner! Unless you want to rest, you must be tired from the flight,” the boys shook their heads as you did the same.

“We can get some rest now, maybe wash up too and then we'll be ready for tonight, don't worry about that,” Heeseung replied quickly.

“Are you all sure?” he asked worriedly as his gaze traveled from Heeseung to the rest of you.

“Yeah, we're young, hyung!” Jay exclaimed, “We can take a small nap and then we'll go to your place!” The rest of the band nodded, smiling at the older guy.

“Alright, I'll pick you up though,” he said, “now let's go, I want you to get some rest before tonight!” he rushed you, making you laugh. You opened the door, got in the van and sat next to Sunghoon at the back. Heeseung and Jay followed, sitting in the middle row before they shut the door behind them. Jake got in the passenger seat whilst Chan sat on the driver's seat, starting the van before he looked back.

“Is everyone here? YN, Sunghoon, Heeseung, Jay, Jake,” he counted heads making Jay whine.

“Why do you do that? We're not kids,” he rolled his eyes, earning a laugh from everyone.

“Because the only time that I didn't count, we forgot Heeseung at the bar,” Chan explained, turning around and putting on his seatbelt.

“Yeah, it was weird that we were so comfortable in the back,” Jake nodded, “the only one having a hard time was Sunghoon cause you were driving his car.” He laughed, making the boy blush as he looked through the car window.

“Baby~ Don't listen to him,” you whispered, grabbing his hand and rubbing small circles on it with your thumb to comfort him.

“I'm fine, doll, but that reminded me that I was jealous of Chan hyung,” he looked at you and giggled, squeezing your hand. “But if anyone tries to flirt with you here, I'm gonna kiss you in front of them.” He warned, earning a chuckle from you.

“My cute boy~” you cooed, kissing his cheek. “You can kiss me in front of whoever you want, my love.”

“Yeah?” he smirked, wrapping his arm around your waist as he leaned closer, “Because I'd love to kiss you now,” he whispered before crashing his lips against yours in a passionate kiss. You kissed him back, smiling against his soft lips as you took your hand to his hair, tangling your fingers between his soft locks.

All of a sudden, you both felt like it was only you and him in the van as you lost yourselves into the kiss without caring about the other boys telling you to get a room or joking around and laughing.

Chan left you all at the hotel, it was the second fanciest hotel that you've seen.

“I'll pick you up around eight, okay?” he said, getting a nod for an answer, “see y'all later, hope you like the hotel!” You greeted him, before making your way to the reception. Jake talked to the receptionist, giving him your names, the man nodded with a bright smile as he passed him four keys.

“Alright, looks like we've got our own rooms,” he passed two keys to Jay and Heeseung, “except for you two, you gotta share,” he passed you another key as he pocketed his own key.

“Oh, so we're sharing a room? If there's only one bed, you'll sleep on the floor Jakey, unless you wanna sleep with me,” Sunghoon joked, making everyone laugh.

“Ew, no, you kick in your sleep, I'm sorry but you'll sleep with YN,” he replied, shaking his head pretending to be sorry.

“Alright, I'll sleep with my pretty girl~” He said, looking down at you as he wrapped his arm around you, leaning closer to kiss your cheek.

“Well, I'm gonna go to my room before I throw up,” Jay joked, making his way towards the elevator. The four of you followed him as you saw a few men carrying your luggage in the other elevator. Jake pressed the button as the doors closed.

“Oh my god, I'm so excited!” the Aussie boy smiled, “can't wait to show you my list!” The boys smiled at him as you pat his shoulder.

“You need to get some rest, Jakey,” you said, earning a nod from everyone. The doors opened at the correct floor, where you found your luggage already in front of each door.

“Alright, I'm gonna take a nap,” Heeseung said, walking towards his room as he grabbed his suitcase.

“Yeah, me too,” Jay followed, grabbing his own suitcase and getting in his room too. Jake greeted you, doing the same as the other boys, it was just you and your boyfriend now.

Sunghoon grabbed both suitcases whilst you opened the door, revealing a very nice and cozy room, covered in neutral tones and good lighting.

“Wow, this is so nice,” the model said, his eyes scanning every inch of the hotel room as he put down the luggage.

“Yeah, Chan really cares about us, I mean, look at this bedroom!” you exclaimed with a bright smile as you walked to the balcony, “oh my god, Hoon, look! The view is so beautiful,” your boyfriend approached you, hugging you from behind and placing his chin on your shoulder.

“Not as beautiful as my girlfriend~” He kissed your cheek softly as he rubbed small circles on your waist. “Aren't you tired baby?”

“Just a little, it was a long flight,” you replied, turning around to face him as he kept hugging you. “Let's take a nap, my love,” you said, kissing his lips quickly. Your boyfriend followed your lips, stealing another kiss as he took his hand up to your neck. He wrapped his fingers around your throat, something that he used to do when he didn't want to stop kissing you.

You smiled into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck as you melted into his touch. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss as his other hand went up and down on your body, caressing your figure softly. At the lack of oxygen, you both pulled away while Hoon pressed his forehead against yours.

“I love you so much my baby girl,” he whispered, staring into your eyes and smiling at you, letting you see his cute dimples and fangs. Oh how you wished that he was biting you right now.

“I love you too, my sweet boy,” you replied, pecking his lips before you got lost into his starry eyes.

“Do you want to cockwarm?” he suddenly asked, making you giggle. He could be the sweetest and cutest sometimes but your boyfriend was also a pervert. Even though you knew that your man was a pervert sometimes, you knew that he loved to be close to you. Every time he felt clingy or bad or just wanted to be close, he'd ask you to cockwarm him.

“Pervert,” you teased him, watching his smile turning into a pout, “I'm kidding, you know I love cockwarming.”

“And I'm the pervert? I just want to be close to my pretty angel while you only want me to fill you up with my big cock,” he teased, rolling his eyes playfully. You slap his bicep playfully.

“I want to be close to you too, dumbass,” he smirks, leaning closer to kiss your lips softly. His hand leaves your neck, traveling down your body and finding his other hand before they both reach your thighs. He picked you up, making you wrap your legs around his waist as he carried you to the king sized bed.

Sunghoon laid you down on your back gently, the soft mattress felt like heaven after a long trip but your boyfriend's lips were sending you to cloud nine. He was so addictive and you enjoyed every single kiss and touch.

You took your hands down, playing with the hem of his shirt, making him bite your lip as he started to grind against you. You slid your hands under his shirt, grazing his toned abs with your nails, a subtle touch that made him go crazy. The model tugged on your lip, pulling away briefly.

“Maybe I need to fuck that tight little cunt before we take that nap,” he mumbled, eyes filled with lust as he continued his motions, his dick getting harder with every move.

“So you didn't want to just cockwarm! You wanted to put your dick inside me so you could fuck me,” you tease with a light pout, “you're such a pervert.”

“Only for you, kitten,” he smirked before sitting up, taking off his shirt before hovering over you, kissing your lips again as his hand traveled to your chest. He slipped his hand under your top, groping your breast, making you moan into the kiss.

The boy shoved his tongue into your mouth, instantly fighting yours as he pinched your nipple, making you moan louder. Your hands roamed all over his body before you reached his pants, unbuttoning it and pulling down his zipper. You slid your hand in his pants, palming him, the only thing that separated your hand from his shaft was the fabric of his boxers.

Sunghoon groaned into the kiss, rolling his hips faster against your hand as his tip started leaking precum. You squeezed his cock gently, earning a moan from him as he pulled away, slightly panting to catch his breath.

“Fuck, kitten, stop teasing,” he mumbled, leaving a trail of kisses on your neck, making you tilt your head to give him more room. “I'll make sure that no one flirts with my girl,” he whispered, sucking on your skin and biting it slightly until he left a hickey.

“Nobody will flirt with me, I'm all yours baby boy,” you played with his tip, making him grunt against your skin as he ruined his boxers. “But what if I made you cum in your pants, huh?” you teased, earning a hard bite on your neck before he pulled away to look at you.

“Don't even think about that, doll,” he wrapped his arm around your waist, sitting up and pulling you on his lap before taking your top off. “Fuck, you look so gorgeous.” He bit his lip, admiring your half naked body. Sunghoon leaned down, taking one of your boobs in his mouth as he started to lick your nipple, biting it slightly.

You moaned, taking your hand to his hair as you pulled on it a bit harder from how good he made you feel. You ground against his clothed dick, enjoying the way that his tip rubbed against your clothed clit thanks to the skirt that you were wearing.

The boy released your boob, paying attention to the other one as he looked at you, his shiny eyes admiring the way you looked at him while your doe eyes got teary due to the stimulation.

“Fuck, baby, please,” you moaned, “I need you inside me.” You begged, making him moan around your boob before he pulled away. You felt his cock twitching against your clothed clit.

“You look so pretty when you beg, my love,” he captured your lips in a soft kiss as he skillfully got rid of your skirt and panties, noticing a big stain of your wetness on your underwear. He pocketed said panties in his trousers. One of his hands moved to your waist whilst the other went down, straight to your core as he rubbed your folds teasingly.

“Sunghoon, please,” you moaned into the kiss before pulling away. “I want you so bad daddy,” the name turned him on more than you thought. He loved when you called him daddy, especially in that whiny and desperate tone. He suddenly shoved two fingers inside you, making you whine from the sudden stretch.

“Sh, it's okay kitten, daddy is here,” he kissed your cheek lovingly, thrusting his fingers in a fast pace, making you see stars as his thumb rubbed your clit. “I'm gonna make you feel so good, my pretty kitten.”

“Please, want more,” you whined as he picked up his pace. You placed your forehead on his shoulder, wrapping your arms around him as you dug your nails into his skin, making his cock twitch.

“Yeah? More? Anything for you, my sweet angel,” he whispered, kissing your neck as he shoved a third finger inside you, loving how you were already clenching around his fingers. You moaned in his ear as he kept fucking you with his veiny hand, but that wasn't enough, you wanted his cock. You wanted Sunghoon to destroy your pussy like he always does, you wanted him to be balls deep inside you, making you cry on his cock as you marked him up.

“C-cock, please,” you whimpered, feeling close to your orgasm. “Wanna cum on your dick, please.” Your boyfriend smiled, pulling his fingers out of you before shoving them in his mouth, licking them clean and moaning around them as he tasted your juices.

“You always taste so good doll, come on kitten, daddy is gonna fuck you full of his cum now~” he cooed, pushing you down on the mattress. You pouted, letting him go as you watched him getting up to take off his pants and boxers. You bit down on your lip as you saw his dick hitting his abs, his red tip oozing precum. “Bet you want to taste me now, I know that look,” he teased, taking his hand to his cock, stroking it as he spread the precum all over his long shaft.

“I'd love to suck daddy's cock but I really need him,” you said, taking your hand down to your core, opening your glistening folds with two fingers to give him a better look of your entrance. “Need him here~” you pouted, giving him your best puppy eyes.

“Fuck, I think you really want to kill me,” he mumbled, hovering over you. He tapped his tip on your clit, teasing you as he smirked. “Gonna fuck you so good, kitten,” he pecked your lips before shoving his cock inside you in one go until he was bottoming out. You moaned loudly as he started to thrust into you.

“Fuck, you're so big,” you whined, placing your hands on his shoulders as you wrapped your legs around his waist to pull him closer. Sunghoon groaned, hiding his face into your neck as he kept pounding into you, just the way you liked it.

The room was filled with lewd sounds. Your moans got louder with every thrust which made Sunghoon chuckle.

“Fuck kitten, you're so loud today but you gotta be a little more quiet.” he whispered in your ear, smirking mischievously, “unless you want the whole building to hear your pretty sounds, bet you'd love that~” Your walls clenched around his cock from his comment. “My little pervert, bet you want everyone to hear how good I fuck you.”

“Yeah, I want everyone to hear that I'm daddy's cum dump,” You moaned as your orgasm approached, his tip hitting your sweet spot repeatedly, taking you to cloud nine.

“Yeah? I've got an idea though, let me go kitten,” your boyfriend smirked, pulling out of you as you begrudgingly obliged with a pout. “Good girl,” he praised, kneeling between your legs as he gripped your waist, manhandling you and putting you on all fours.

“How will this-” you didn't finish the phrase, you only felt Sunghoon's hand on your hair as he pushed your face down on the pillow, keeping your ass up before he aligned his cock with your entrance.

“That'll help to keep you quiet while I-” he made a pause, pushing his cock inside you before giving a hard thrust. “Destroy this pretty pussy~” He mumbled with a mischievous smirk as he placed his hands on your hips, gripping on it as he started thrusting at a fast pace.

You moaned into the pillow, clenching your walls around his cock as you heard his groans.

“You feel so fucking good,” he mumbled, thrusting harder and faster. “You're still so fucking tight, kitten.” You arched your back, moaning louder as your legs trembled from the new angle, feeling his tip kissing your cervix.

You hugged the pillow, moaning his name as he dug his nails into your skin, pounding mercilessly into you. You felt your orgasm approaching whilst you started to cry from the pleasure.

“Wanna cum please,” your voice and moans were muffled by the pillow but your boyfriend still understood you. He moved his hand, his thumb reached your clit as he started to rub small circles on it, making you whine.

“Go on, kitten, cream daddy's cock,” he said, rubbing your clit faster whilst thrusting at an animalistic pace, trying to reach his high. “I'm so close, gonna fill you up so well, kitten.” His thrusts became sloppier as you came all over his cock but he didn't stop. Sunghoon kept pounding and playing with your clit, overstimulating you as you rolled your eyes back from the pleasure.

“Want you to cum again, kitten, cum for daddy, I know you can do it,” he groaned as he tried to keep his pace but it was hard for him since he could feel your walls hugging his dick so deliciously.

After a few more thrusts, Sunghoon moaned louder as he gave a deep thrust, shooting thick ropes of cum inside you and painting your walls white. He kept pounding, making you cum again around his dick as he overstimulated himself.

Sunghoon stood inside you, catching his breath as he caressed the skin of your hips, admiring the bruises and small scratches that he left. He pulled out, leaning down to lap at your cunt, swallowing the mix of your cum and his, making you whine against the pillow.

He moved his tongue slowly, trying not to overstimulate you too much. He pushed his tongue in your hole, cleaning you up and gathering as much cum as he could before he swallowed.

The model pulled away, licking his lips as he watched your trembling legs still up, making him grin.

“Did I go too far? Are you okay sweetheart?” he asked, rubbing your back gently. You got up, sitting on the bed as you pouted.

“I'm okay,” you laid down on your back, opening your arms for him. “Come here, wanna cuddle.” Sunghoon smiled, laying on his side next to you as he wrapped one of his arms around your waist and the other around your shoulder, letting you use his bicep as a pillow.

“My cute kitten, you did so well,” he pressed a chaste kiss on your lips. “You took me so well, I'm so proud of you, my love.” He hugged you tight, pressing soft pecks all over your face and making you giggle.

“Thank you, Hoonhoon,” his smile got bigger at the nickname, he loved it when you called him that. “You always treat me so well, my love.” You took your hands to his face, cupping his cheeks as you rubbed them gently.

“What can I say? My angel deserves the princess treatment~” he cooed, kissing you again. You kissed him back, tilting your head slightly to deepen the kiss. Sunghoon melted into your touch as he rubbed small circles on your waist with his thumb.

“I love you so much,” you whispered once you pulled away. “You have no idea, my darling.” He blushed from the petname, it was one of his favourites.

“No, I love you more, my cute angel.” He bit your cheek gently, making you laugh.

“Stop doing that!” you whined, “why do you always bite my cheeks?” You pinched his cheek softly.

“Oh shut up, you always bite or pinch my cheeks.” he replied, biting your cheeks again.

“Sunghoon!” you laughed, shaking your head. “We should get up,” you mumbled, taking your hand to the boy's hair as you started to play with it.

“Why? Let's stay here for a few hours,” he pulled you closer to him.

“Baby, we need to get ready for Chan's dinner,” you pouted, earning a kiss from the figure skater.

“Relax, we still have like,” he made a pause, pulling his hand away from your waist to grab his phone from his pants to check the time. “Fuck we have an hour, we need to get up now.”

“Shit!” you exclaimed, getting up quickly as you ran to the bathroom to take a quick shower. Sunghoon shut his eyes, taking a quick nap as you showered. He knew it was better to leave you alone in the bathroom or you'd end up wasting more time with him.

You got out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around your body. A smile appeared on your face as you saw your boyfriend, peacefully sleeping, like a cute baby. You leaned down, pressing soft kisses on his cheeks as you called his name, making the boy groan in his sleep.

“Hoonie, wake up, you need to shower,” you mumbled, poking his cheek until he opened his eyes.

“What?” he sleepily asked before yawning.

“You need to get ready for Chan's dinner, my love,” you repeated, kissing his forehead. A sleepy smile appeared on his face as he stretched, getting up and patting your head as he made his way to the bathroom.

You opened your suitcase, picking the perfect outfit to meet Chan's girlfriend. You dressed up quickly before sitting on a chair, starting to do your makeup. Sunghoon got out of the bathroom, biting down on his lip as soon as he saw you.

“My baby looks so pretty~” he made his way towards you, hugging you from behind. You felt something poking your back, making you blush.

“Go back to the bathroom and take a cold shower right now.” You deadpanned, staring at him through the mirror in front of you. The boy pouted. “Sunghoon, I'm serious.” You crossed your arms in front of your chest.

“Alright, I'll go take a cold shower.” He rolled his eyes, patting your wet hair before he got in the bathroom again to get rid of his boner.

After fixing your hair whilst your boyfriend fixed his big problem, you went down to the lobby. You found your friends already waiting for you two, another familiar face was talking to them.

“No way!” You exclaimed, walking towards them as you pulled your boyfriend's hand to make him walk faster before you let him go. The other boy looked at you, completely shocked before he smiled, walking towards you.

“YN? You gotta be kidding me,” the boy wrapped his arms around you as you hugged his waist. Your boyfriend stared at the scene, slightly puzzled since he didn't know who you were hugging. “It's been so long, how are you?” He asked, pulling away from you as he looked at you.

“I'm really good! What about you?” You answered, smiling at him brightly. Your boyfriend's gaze kept going between you and the boy as he started to talk with the boys, trying to find out who was him.

“I've been good! I've been traveling a bit, are you going to Chan's too?” he asked, taking a hand up to his neck.

“Yeah, actually I'm going with the boys and my boyfriend!” you said excitedly, walking towards Sunghoon as the boy followed you. “This is Park Sunghoon, my boyfriend!” You hold onto his arm, making him grin.

“Wait! Aren't you like a model? Or a figure skater?” he asked, earning a nod from your boyfriend as he said hi. “Wow, that's so amazing!”

“Yeah, I have a few gold medals actually, nothing too fancy.” Sunghoon spoke, his bitter tone surprised you as you didn't expect him to get jealous.

“Hoon, this is Felix, we were friends when we were in middle school!” You smiled, squeezing his arm, silently telling your boyfriend to be nice.

“Nice to meet you, Felix,” your boyfriend smiled, shaking the boy's hand a little too tight.

“It's nice to meet you too!” Felix smiled awkwardly, your friends noticed the scene, stepping in and talking to your boyfriend, trying to distract him as you caught up with Felix.

After a few minutes, you received a text from Chan, he was outside the building, waiting for you. You called the boys, getting out of the building. Chan waved at you, smiling brightly as he saw everyone getting in the van.

“Did everyone rest well?” he asked, earning a positive answer from everyone. Sunghoon looked at you with a teasing smile, making you laugh as you shook your head.

Chris drove to his place, it wasn't too far from the hotel and when you finally got there, you were amazed by his beautiful house. It had a cozy yet elegant vibe with a big yard.

“Dude, this is beautiful!” Jay said as his eyes scanned the front of the house.

“It's so big!” Jake said, taking a look around as you all walked towards the door.

“That's what she said,” Heeseung joked, earning a slap on his head from Jake as the rest of you laughed. Chan opened the door, a girl around Chan's age walked towards you with a bright smile.

“Hello, welcome to our house! I'm so glad to finally meet all of you, Chris always talks about you guys!” The girl's voice was sweet and she seemed really nice.

“Hi! It's a pleasure to meet you, Grace!” you said, shaking her hand. “We heard a lot about you too!”

After a quick presentation, Grace guided you to the dining room as Chan brought the food. The dinner passed between laughs and anecdotes about the past until someone told a very recent story.

“You won't believe this!” Felix started, “I went to my room today, I was so tired from the flight and I swear I almost fought the people in the next room.” He sighed.

“Why? What happened?” Chan asked curiously as you all kept eating.

“Well, apparently it was a couple,” he said nonchalantly, “but they were so loud!” He shook his head. “Like I get that people do that but dude, you're in a hotel, do you have to be that loud? I hope they leave soon.” Sunghoon discreetly looked at you from the corner of his eye.

“Where are you staying?” Jay asked before taking a sip of beer.

“316, I think the sound came from the room next to mine.” He said, making you choke on a potato as your boyfriend choked on his drink. Heeseung, Jake and Jay tried not to laugh whilst Chan, Felix and Grace looked at you worriedly as they asked if you were okay.

“Y-yeah, we're good,” you said nervously as you grabbed your drink, taking a long sip.

“We're fine,” Sunghoon coughed, “Don't worry.” Chris looked at you, getting up from the table as he smiled.

“Yn can you help me with the dessert?” he asked in a certain tone, he wanted to talk with you. You nodded, following him to the kitchen.

“Wow, this kitchen is like a dream,” you said, looking at every single detail of his kitchen.

“Why did you two choke?” He asked, staring at you as he grabbed a knife to cut a pie.

“I-” you stared at the knife as he cut each piece and put it on dessert plates. “Felix heard us.” you said quickly, feeling the heat going up to your cheeks.

“He what?!” His scream was heard from the dining room, making everyone at the table look towards the kitchen.

“I'll see if they need help!” Sunghoon said quickly, running towards the kitchen. “Chan, everyone heard you, what's going on?”

“You just came today and you already fucked at the hotel room?” He asked, shaking his head as he kept cutting the pie. “And don't tell me that when Felix heard you fucking!” He said, looking at Sunghoon. Your boyfriend gulped, getting as red as you.

“We thought the room was empty, we didn't see any light nor heard anything coming from there!” Your boyfriend shrugged. “We didn't know!”

“Guys, you're staying at a hotel, try to be a little more quiet next time!” Chan put the knife down on the counter, passing you a few plates. The model looked at you, goofily smiling as he remembered your face buried into the pillow.

“Sunghoon.” You warned him.

“I didn't do anything!” he said, putting his hand up innocently. Chan shook his head, passing him some plates as he grabbed the rest of them.

“Let's go, everyone is waiting for the dessert,” he said, walking towards the dining room, seeing Jake, Heeseung and Jay laughing out loud.

The night ended well, everyone was happy and now your bandmates had another reason to tease you. Chan took you back to the hotel and everyone ran to their own room as you were all tired. Sunghoon and you walked behind, letting your bandmates talk with Felix. When Felix reached his door, he stopped to wave at you, still looking at you as you kept walking and stopped at the 317 room.

You gave him an awkward smile as his face got red, mouthing an apology before he got in his room.

The wedding day came, you excitedly got up from your seat after finishing your makeup as your boyfriend hugged you as long as he could.

“Why are you so clingy?” you giggled, hugging him back.

“Because I won't see you until later, you need to be there earlier, then walk down the aisle and I'll be sitting pretty far from you,” he pouted, pressing his forehead against yours. “I'll miss you, my love.”

“Aw, you're so cute, baby boy,” you smiled softly, kissing him lovingly. He tilted his head to deepen the kiss, one of his hands traveled from your waist to your nape as he pulled you closer.

“I love you,” he mumbled between kisses. You captured his bottom lip between your teeth, pulling on it gently before you completely pulled away.

“I love you too, my love but we need to go now!” You said, earning a sigh from your boyfriend as he let you go. “How do I look?” You twirl, letting him take a good look at your long dress.

“You look gorgeous, my angel.” He smiled, looking at you as if you were his world. “You're the prettiest flower girl.” He leaned closer, kissing your lips softly.

“Thank you, my love.” You went for another kiss but you heard a few knocks on the door.

“Hurry up! We're gonna be late!” Jake screamed from the hall. Sunghoon let out a sigh, grabbing your hand as you both left the room.

Once you reached the lobby, you walked towards the hall that was reserved for the wedding. The ceremony was pretty quick, you did a good job as a flower girl, smiling as you threw the petals on the carpet.

You looked at your side when you reached the middle, catching a quick glimpse of your boyfriend's nose and eyes all red as he sobbed. You wanted to stop and ask him if he was okay, but you couldn't, so you just looked at him worriedly.

After the beautiful ceremony, where Chan and Grace said their votes and got married, you all went to another hall for the party. You ran to your boyfriend, grabbing one of his hands as the other went to his face. You cupped his cheek as you squeezed his hand.

“Are you okay baby? I saw you crying earlier.” you asked worriedly, rubbing his cheek gently as he blushed.

“Oh… yeah, I'm fine,” he smiled nervously, intertwining your fingers with his.

“Are you sure, my love?” You knew him, he was hiding something, you arched your eyebrow, making him sigh.

“Alright, you just looked so beautiful walking down the aisle and I couldn't help it,” his eyes focused on the wall behind you as he didn't want to look into your eyes, he was too shy to do it. “I was sobbing cause I thought about you… Walking down the aisle on our wedding day.”

“Hoonie,” your vision got blurry as your tears were threatening to fall at any second. You blinked a few times, trying not to ruin your makeup. “You're- you're the loveliest and sweetest and I love you so much.” You pulled him down, capturing his lips in a lovely kiss as he kissed you back.

“I love you too, my angel,” he mumbled between kisses. You pulled away, catching your breath as you hugged him tight.

A few hours passed, you were dancing and having fun with your friends and boyfriend. Felix approached the group, he felt a little awkward at first until you reassured him that everything was okay and apologized for what he heard.

Grace gathered everyone, ready to throw her beautiful bouquet. She turned around, throwing the bouquet to the air until it casually landed right on Heeseung's hands. The boy pretended to gag, throwing it at Sunghoon and making everyone laugh as his face got red. When the bride turned around, she congratulated him, winking at you as your friends teased you both.

Sunghoon bit down on his lip, handing you the flowers. You smiled softly, kissing his cheek as he wrapped his arms around you, hiding his face into your neck until everyone came back to their own business. The party went on, you danced and sang like you always did, having fun with your bandmates until sunrise.

[canirove]

I don’t like you, Mason Mount | Chapter 5

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"Do I really have to go?"

"Yes."

"But..."

"No buts, Dani. This is our last day here, and we must follow our tradition. We must do it for mum."

"But I don't feel well" I complain.

"You've been saying that for days, but you are lying. Why? I don't know. Maybe you are avoiding that boy you made out with."

And Monica is not wrong. Even though Mason and I have been texting and even facetimed a couple of times, I don't want to cross paths with him.

"I think I caught something."

"You didn't catch anything. The stupidity and stubbornness have been part of you since you were born."

"Hey!" I say, throwing her a slipper.

"See? You are fine. So put on a nice dress and let's go have dinner."

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"You know, I still get emotional coming here" my dad says when we walk into the restaurant. This used to be mum's favourite place, the one where we've been having dinner on our last day of holidays since both Monica and I were little. And as a tribute to her, we've kept coming here.

"Mummy, is that..." Lola whispers, pointing to a table to our left.

"Hello there" Mason says. Mason. What the hell is he doing here? And tonight? "What a coincidence!"

"Indeed" my sister says. "It's really nice to see you again."

"You too" he replies. "Sir."

"Hello, Mount" my dad says, shaking his hand.

"And hello to you too."

"Hi" I mutter.

"Why don't you sit with us?" Mason offers.

"Oh, no, we don't want to bother you and your family" Monica replies.

"You won't be" Mason's mum says. "Please, come sit with us."

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I'm going to the bathroom" I whisper to my sister. We are almost done with dinner, and I can't wait to get out of here. Because for some odd reason, my family and Mason's are loving each other. They are even talking about meeting in London once we all are back!

"Don't take too long, we haven't had dessert yet."

"I'll try" I say, getting up.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Oh, I'm so sorry" I say after hitting someone when I leave the bathroom.

"It's just me, don't worry" Mason says.

"What are you doing here?"

"Going to the bathroom?" he chuckles.

"And the restaurant? How did you know that we were coming? I never told you anything."

"It’s just a coincidence."

"It is too much of a coincidence."

"But coincidences do happen" he shrugs.

"And with us, they are over. After tonight, we aren't seeing each other ever again."

"Are you sure?" he asks with a smile.

"Yes, I am. I've already told you I'm not interested on anything that has to do with you."

“Then why do you keep replying to my texts?”

“That’s over. I’m deleting your number.”

"Welll, it’s a shame. Your family seems to like me a lot."

"God knows why" I scoff.

“Daniela, why are you so stubborn?" he asks, crossing his arms over his chest, something that makes his muscles be more noticeable, making me stare at them. Why am I staring?

"I don't know, my sister says I was born like that” I reply, trying to look somewhere else.

"So you don't want to see me ever again?"

"Nope."

"Are you sure? Because if you say no, this is it. We will not see each other again. You may see me on tv, but that'll be it. I'm not wasting my time anymore."

"What? You are wasting your time?" I chuckle.

"Yes, I am. I am wasting my time with you. Because even though I know I've made you change your mind about me, you are too proud and stubborn to admit it."

"I have not changed my mind about you. I still think you are overrated, not as charming and funny as you believe yourself to be, and definitely not that handsome."

"Ha!" he laughs. "You weren't saying the same the other night when I was between your legs."

"That was a mistake that won't happen again" I say, trying to not raise my voice.

"Keep telling that to yourself” he laughs again. “But you are right, it won't happen again. It's over."

"Good."

"Great."

"Fantastic."

"Splendid!"

"Wonderful!"

"Sensational!"

"Congratulations, you've won this stupid game of words" Mason says, rolling his eyes.

"Thank you" I reply with a big smile.

"Daniela..." he sighs after a few seconds of silence, running a hand through his hair. "I'm only asking once, and this will be it. Are you sure you don't want to see me again? Like, 100% sure?"

100%? Hell no. I'm doubting everything right now. Even my name.

"I need an answer, Daniela. And I need it now. Because my season is about to start, and I need to be focused, not constantly thinking about you."

He is... thinking about me? What?

"Don't look so surprised" he chuckles. "You know I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since Christmas. You have something that... I don't know, I can't explain it. But I'm done fighting. I know you are worth it, but sometimes the best thing you can do is to give up. So tell me. Are you sure you don't want to see me again?"

"I..." Did Mason Mount just confess that he has feelings for me? Me? Why?

“I need an answer.”

And I can’t think straight. The butterflies are moving like never before, threatening to rip apart my chest. But at the same time, I feel so scared… No, not scared. Terrified.

"Well, your silence says it all. We won't see each other again" he says, walking past me.

"No, Mason, wait..." But it is too late. He's already inside the bathroom and he can't hear me. It’s over.

[the12thnightproject]

Chapter 34: Turn the Page. An impatient Katsu discovers that Yoshimoto travels at his own pace - but maybe he has the correct idea?

Mitsuhide x OC; Hideyoshi x MC (Mai)

All Chapters Archived on Ao3 

Logline - With Mai, Hideyoshi, and Aki missing, Mitsuhide and Katsuko reluctantly team up. Disguised as a merchant and his concubine, can they outsmart the man known as the God of Deceit?

Travel with Yoshimoto? I could probably get anywhere faster and less conspicuously without an escort, but in spite of his ambivalent manner, his knowledge of the politics involved would be worth having. Not to mention there was always the possibility that Yoshimoto wouldn’t give up the location of Yoshiaki’s hideout unless I agreed to go with him. “Thank you.”

He cast a critical eye over my clothes. He didn’t visibily flinch at my ‘Katsu’ drag, but he was clearly unimpressed. “Dare I hope that you still have the clothing Mitsuhide provided?"

"No." I didn’t mention the turquoise yukata. That wasn’t what I imagined Yoshimoto meant. "I've abandoned the Kaya identity completely."

"Pity. It would be most believable to Yoshiaki if I brought along a concubine." He tapped his fingers on the table. "Stand up, if you will."

Wondering what he had in mind, I obeyed the polite request. Yoshimoto got to his feet as well, and stood next to me, "You'll travel as my page, although I'll have to procure a suitable outfit. My own clothes would be far too long for you."

Had it been Mitsuhide who made such a statement, I would have protested that I wasn't too small, it was he who was too tall, but Yoshimoto had a way of making everything seem like a compliment. He thought a moment longer then added, "I have a relative whose castle will be on our route. I imagine we might find something suitable there, for you will certainly need warmer outfits for the mountains. Her son’s clothes will likely fit you."

Right. If Yoshiaki was in mining country, as the context of Iekane’s letter suggested, it would be colder there. Maybe not as cold as the Togakushi area where I was from, but cold enough to need heavy outerwear. "Thank you. My winter gear is back at my master’s home."

When Aki had first disappeared, it had been the last of summer. I had never expected the search to take me into late autumn. And yet… here I was, following a path that hopefully would not be another dead end. That morbid thought reminded me that I needed to make arrangements for Hiko tonight too.

Yoshimoto reached out and tested the thickness of my kimono. "Perhaps we'll encounter traders on the route. They might have some pelts they are taking to the export merchants." Huh. That suggested it was really cold where we were going (or that Yoshimoto just wanted an excuse to go for shopping). He knelt at his writing desk and jotted down a few notes. "Do you also need a horse?"

"No. Mine is already stabled in town and she's a surefooted mountain pony." A bad tempered one, true, but we'd be more likely to see snow instead of rain, so hopefully she'd cope.

“Ah, you might be better situated in that regard than I am.” Yoshimoto folded up the letter, and set it aside. “I’ll have one of Shingen’s spies take this to my cousin tomorrow.”

Hm – I hadn’t realized that the Takeda spy network reached as far south as Sakai. But that did present a solution to one of my other problems. “Do you have easy access to the mitsumono then? Because Sho’s younger brother is in danger, and it would be a good idea to have someone watching over him.”

“How much danger?” He looked at me steadily, perhaps reassessing what he’d just gotten himself into.

“Life threatening.” While I didn’t think Iekane was currently in Sakai (because if he were, why would he send a message to de Sousa instead of just talking face to face) he probably had access to assassins.

Yoshomoto reopened the letter and scrawled a few more lines. “To be safe, I can have him taken to Kasugayama until he’s out of danger.” He muttered something about Kenshin needing a hobby.

“If you could make that happen, that’s probably the best possible solution.” Iekane would have to be crazy to attack Kasugayama. Kenshin’s reputation as a fighter was infamous.

“A good idea will waft through my mind on occasion.” He hesitated a moment, then added, “Very rare occasions.” Before I could dispute that, he continued. “Right then. Another good idea is that we should sleep. You shall take my bed.”

"I can't kick you out of your bed." I’d broken into his room – it would be impolite to also steal his bed. For that matter, I couldn't imagine him sleeping on the floor.

"If you're that concerned for my comfort, we could share." The look he gave me was enough to convince me that a) it would not be platonic, b) he was not teasing, and c) he expected me to turn him down anyway.

"I'm actually used to roughing it. Don't forget that before I was p-p-pretending to be Mitsuhide's concubine,” Let’s just ignore the fact that for one night, it had not exactly been a pretense. “I was delivering messages all over the country. My tent and bedroll are with my horse, and it’s not as if I wouldn’t be using those the next few nights anyway."

If Yoshimoto noticed my hesitation in describing my relationship to Mitshide, he was kind enough not to mention it. "Tent. Bedroll. No that won't do. There are enough inns on the route to suit."

Ah. We were going glamping. Well, it was his money. The Imagawa were land poor, but Yoshimoto at least seemed to have unlimited wealth. I supposed that now I had liberated my, for want of a better description, trust fund, from Francisco's desk, I could afford to stay at an inn as well.

But for this night, I pointed to his bed. "You, futon. Me, floor." Without giving him a chance to argue, I simply stretched out in the corner, using my pack as a pillow.

The lantern light was suddenly shadowed by his figure, standing over me. “I don’t care that you are used to, as you say, ‘roughing it.’ I will not be able to sleep if I know that you are on the floor. Take my bed please. I have other options.”

… I ended up sleeping in his bed. Yoshimoto found an accommodating tea maid (perhaps the same one as before) and spent the night elsewhere.

The following morning we were off, far later than I would have preferred, but Yoshimoto is not a morning person. In fact, by the time we had left the inn, taken care of half a dozen little tasks that Yoshimoto had insisted were important, it was long past dawn and I was already feeling impatient.

Luckily, getting in touch with one of Shingen’s spies took very little time – in fact as quickly as Yoshimoto made contact, one would think that she’d been watching for him. Or maybe even me, as it turned out that I knew her, for she was the kuinochi who had clued me in on the existence of the contraceptive tea. Sute, who didn’t appear to have a verbal ‘off’ button, had flitted around Yoshimoto, boldly flirting with him, before agreeing that bodyguarding a small boy to Kasugayama sounded like a fun new mission.

Her attention span seemed to jump from topic to topic so quickly that I was dizzy trying to keep up with her. “I love children, I would have a dozen of my own, but Chiyome thinks I would get bored with babies, so she reminds me to drink the – oh, Katsu, are you still drinking the tea?” She twined her arms around Yoshimoto for a moment. “You will need to if you will be travelling with this one. His skin is so very soft, do you not agree?” Then before I could respond to that (although what, really could I say?) she suddenly changed moods completely. “If someone is trying to kill a small boy, don’t worry, I will gut him like a fish.” She gestured to the arsenal of weapons and tools she had with her.

To add reassurance, Yoshimoto nodded. “All of Shingen’s mitsumono are brutal in a fight if necessary. Shingen won’t send anyone out who can’t protect themselves and others. Let us retrieve this child now.” It was said with a slight impatience … as if I hadn’t been agitating to get this show on the road hours ago.

I had a general idea where Hiko and his family lived, and well, Sho’s looks made it easy to track them all down. All I’d had to say was ‘green eyed beauty’ and her neighbors pointed me to their house.

Once Hiko had been guaranteed that his mother and sisters would be taken care of in a safe house arranged by Yoshimoto, he treated the idea of traveling to Kasugayama as a great adventure. In fact the biggest resistence to the plan came from Sho. Though she didn’t blink at my transformation from Kaya to Katsu, the news that Hiko was in danger was another issue altogether. In a show of defiance, my former maid not only refused to go with her mother and sisters to the safe haven, but also insisted upon accompanying her brother as an additional bodyguard. “I’m not helpless. And you’ll need another pair of eyes to keep watch on him. Hiko gets into everything.”

Sute had given her a long measuring look, then surprisingly agreed to another travelling companion.

In fact, Sute and Sho seemed to take an instant liking to each other, and as they got on the road, I could hear them chattering about everything under the sun.

Finally, Yoshimoto and I were able to leave Sakai too. I was happy to have the city in my so called rearview mirror. Moonlight also was glad to be on the road, especially after being stuck in a stable for weeks. I felt the same. Playing house, so to speak, with Mitsuhide would always have been a chore for me because I just didn’t like being inside. Getting back on the road was such a blessed relief....

And maybe if you keep telling yourself that, you will eventually come to believe it.

The only person who didn’t seem relieved to leave the city was Yoshimoto himself. With a figurative dark cloud looming over his head, his frown and drooping posture suggested some private misery. I suspected it had to do with his rebellious vassals, but I hesitated to question him because I didn’t want to make matters worse.

Thankfully, once we were well out of town, and the humid sea air gave way to a cooler crisp weather, he shook himself out of the mood and began peppering me with questions about the future, or, more specifically about the art and culture of the future. “You’ve never talked about this stuff with Sasuke?”

Yoshimoto’s shoulder lifted in a graceful shrug. “I have tried sometimes, but it was clear that his tastes and mine do not converge and I find it frustrating to hear about adventure stories when I prefer to learn about theater, art and dance.”

“Um, you’re probably going to find my conversation just as bothersome then.” Sports were always my interest, and I knew nothing about painting or sculpture.

He turned a dazzling smile to me. “Not at all. Conversation with a lovely young woman is never a bother.” Whoa. I had forgotten that Yoshimoto could turn on the charm when he wished to.

Huh. Hm. I didn’t want to disappoint him after that, so after thinking for a moment, I decided I could manage to speak somewhat authoritatively about film. I took him through the plots of Ran and Throne of Blood, giving him a brief run down of Kurosawa which then detoured to Shakespeare (at least what I could recall of both – which wasn’t a lot in regard to Shakespeare, given my habit of skipping school). And then I remembered that Ran had been inspired by Motonari, or at least the version of him from my own timeline, which made everything weird for me all over again.

Over the past seven years, I had gotten used to living in the same era as the historical figures I had grown up learning about in school. I'd rarely encountered them though, so it had been easy to pretend that they were still characters in a film. Now, I'd just spent the bulk of autumn with Mitsuhide, taken part in a rescue of Hideyoshi, and was travelling with Yoshimoto. I was feeling a bit of surrealistic alienation.

"Katsuko, what happened next?" I realized that Yoshimoto was waiting for me to continue telling him the plot of Ran. "How do they get all of these battles on the stage? Or are your theaters bigger?"

Whoops, I had skipped over the technology involved, "It's not live, we have a different, or well another medium to stage visual stories." As best I could, I tried to explain how movies were made, and how they were available to be viewed at the push of a button.

He got very quiet for a while before saying, "I can't decide if the idea of holding a play in the palm of my hand whenever I want is wonderful or terrible. I'm afraid it would make it all less special."

Hm. He had a point, I supposed. "I've never known any other way. We still have live theater, and dance. It didn’t go away. It's just... really expensive. At least with streaming, more people can enjoy it. Even in my time, people with unlimited funds are the exception, not the rule."

He turned to look at me, and there was pity in that glance. "Is that how you grew up? Were you poor?"

Yoshimoto might consider it so, but he was coming from a life where he’d at least monetarily had everything he wanted and never had to make decisions about whether or not he could afford something. “No. We always had enough to eat, shelter, warm clothes. Just not much extra."

I'd worked in a coffee shop for three years to save up for my snowboard. I didn’t really want to explain further. Though Yoshimoto (when he was in the mood) was an interesting conversationalist, talking about my childhood wasn't something I enjoyed doing, and he didn’t have Mitsuhide's ability to take with facts I gave him and accurately understand the conflicting emotions attached to them. So instead of revealing more of myself, I diverted Yoshimoto's attention back to the movies.

Unfortunately Yoshimoto proved to be distractible in every area of his life, and rather than making good time and traveling directly to our destination, he would often stop, even in the smallest villages, and visit with craftsmen and artisans.

I found it frustrating, and, I’m sure the hulking spy (Mitsuhide’s man – I recognized him from Sakai), who had been patiently following us for several days felt the same. When we stopped to visit what seemed like the tenth artisan in three days, I finally had to protest. “It seems like we’re not making very good time. I could have gotten there already.”

"Would you have pushed yourself and your horse to exhaustion?” Yoshimoto held a ceramic bowl up to the light. It was so shiny, his reflection was visible in it. “By traveling in this manner, you can go faster in short bursts. I would wager we're covering nearly the same territory in the amount of time it would take you to travel the other way. And this way, we learn whether or not Yoshiaki is massing an army because these villagers take note of everything."

Hm. Ok. He was right… and I should have thought of that myself. In my impatience over our lack of speed, I'd stopped paying attention to Yoshimoto’s conversations with the innkeepers and artisans. My bad. "Is he?"

"Not as of yet. I believe he's still in the process of getting promises of support from anti-Oda clans. Small ones." Yoshimoto reluctantly gave the bowl back to the artisan. It was too big to take with us (not that it had stopped his other purchases). "With winter setting in, he'll wait to attack in spring. No one wants to march an army through the mountains in a blizzard."

He turned back to the artisan and purchased the bowl anyway. "I can gift it to my cousin. We're almost to their castle."

Yoshimoto apparently had relatives all over Japan although the exact lines of ancestry I was never clear on. This particular cousin Ohana was married to a daimyo who was currently an ally of Kenshin, or at least that was the apparent relationship. It didn’t seem like much of a connection, especially not when we were basically dropping by with very little warning.

However, when we arrived at a small castle in Takayama, Ohana's husband Susumu welcomed us warmly. Then he immediately bore Yoshimoto off for a long war conversation, leaving Ohana to outfit me with clothing belonging to her youngest son. Besides a warm fur cloak, there were kimonos and hakamas in rich heat-absorbent shades of blue and black. I felt terrible taking her kid's wardrobe, but she waved off my protests.

"In truth, if Genmaro is anything like his father and brothers, I expect he will be half a head taller and more before the new year. And with no other children behind him, I would have sent these on to another cousin anyway." She threw a sturdy dark wine colored kimono on the pile.

I supposed that due to the fact I needed to look the part of an Imagawa page, it was in a sense a uniform. Armor. At least it was physical armor. It seemed that I would need some mental armor as well - both Ohana and Susumu had reacted with identical expressions of horror when Yoshimoto said he was planning to visit Yoshiaki. I imagined that a large portion the conversation between Susumu and Yoshimoto included the Sengoku versions of the expression, ‘are you nuts?’

Yeah, Yoshiaki was beginning to sound like the monster under the bed.

I half expected Yoshimoto’s cousins to lock him in a room and perform an intervention, but all that they managed to do was convince him to spend the night with them, so that we would be awake and alert when we arrived at Yoshiaki’s hideout. We would take with us not only warmer clothing, but also a couple additional servants, as both Yoshimoto and Susumu agreed that in the case of the Shogun, “more is more.”

And ‘more is more’ as in this is beginning to feel like more and more of serious production. As in, if you screw this up, it is more and more likely that you and Yoshimoto will die. It was at that moment that I realized I didn’t actually know what a page did. It was not in my repertoire of disguises, so as we were preparing for the visit, I asked, "Do you have any particular instructions? I've never been a page before."

This request was at least partially prompted by my worry for his mental state. He hadn’t slept at all the night before, for every time I woke up, I saw him standing by the window, staring out at the moon. Indeed, that was where he was when I got up. The moon had set, but Yoshimoto was clinging to that window as if it were a portal to another land. If the wormhole were to appear, I suspect he would leap right into it, not caring about where it led (him, I should at least warn him about the dinosaur possibility). I tried again to get his attention. “Yoshimoto? What does your page do? Carry your luggage?”

With an attitude of reluctance, Yoshimoto finally turned his attention to me. "Stand behind me, in my shadow if possible, bow as low as you can manage, and keep facing down. Don't look at him."

Well, that's ominous. "And if, when I find Iekane?" Accusing the man in front of the Shogun would apparently be an enormous breach of protocol. Probably even considered treason.

"Do you think he will recognize you?" He set out little ceramic pots of make-up… hopefully not for me.

"Well... probably, yes. He knew me as both housemaid Kaya and courier Katsu, so whichever way I’m dressed, he’ll be familiar." Plus, he had, I was sure now, been in Sakai right before my accident, so he'd seen me recently.

He was quiet a moment. "Bow to the floor as soon as you enter, and don't rise unless I give you a direct order. Yoshiaki will think it’s his due anyway."

He sounds like a real charmer. He and Iekane probably deserved each other. Hopefully the floor wouldn’t be too cold there at. Hm. “And what is the name of this place?”

“Genba.” Yoshimoto bit off the word as if it tasted terrible.

Genba.

It was the first I had heard of it. So why was I suddenly feeling claustrophobic while my mind presented me images of a labarinthine path, dark corridors, and the smell of poison? I knew I had never been there before. The word, the place name, totally unfamiliar.

But… something…?

Genba.

Note: "Genba" will sound familiar to anyone who's read "A Mitsunari Night's Dream" as most of the action took place there. Katsu is just getting a deja vu from that other timeline. But the people who live in this Genba aren't exactly the same characters who lived in that other timeline, so it's not necessary to have read Mitsunari's story ... you haven't missed any vital information.

@bestbryn @selenacosmic @mllorei @akitsuneswife @lyds323 @tele86

[born-to-lose-writing]

No Road Romance – Chapter 2

Pairing: Roger Daltrey x reader

Summary: When you start going to The Who's shows, you regularly hook up with Roger, but after a while of being his groupie and a friend, you're beginning to think you like him more than that.

Tags: smut

Words: 1,192

A/N: One good thing about me dragging this fic around for over a month is that I already have some snippets of the first chapters written and just need to make it make sense, so here's already an update! I promise this is basically just a filler to get to the plot in the next one

Tag list: @warriorteam1924 @slashscowboyboots @losers-yurio @lost-in-the-80s @jennyggggrrr @tuffduff @jonesyownsmyheart @smells-like-perfect-senses @slit-skirts (let me know if you want to be taken off the list)

Only two days later, The Who coincidentally played in Cheshunt. As it was close enough to you, there was no choice but to attend this gig as well, even if it was a Wednesday night, but the way home wasn't too long.

You were there early enough to secure a spot up front once again. The show went similar to the last one and unsurprisingly, you had a good time. At some point during an instrumental, Roger noticed you and smiled, giving you a wink.

Unfortunately, you couldn't find a backstage door – or where one might be – at this venue, so you decided to wait by the bar and hope the singer would approach you now that he knew you were here. To seem less awkward, you ordered a drink for yourself and sipped on it, your gaze mindlessly wandering through the room.

Not long after, a man put his elbow up on the counter beside you and you turned around to see Roger. “Well helIo, I've never seen you before,” he smirked, putting a cigarette in his mouth and lighting it. “What brought you here?”

“This little band called The Who, I think they were fine,” you shrugged playfully. “I was here today anyway and saw there's live music.”

“Only fine? The other day you treated me like a minor God,” he laughed and you almost blushed, but somehow managed to keep the nonchalance up.

“You want more?”

“I guess you could say that,” he said, licking his bottom lip and looking into your eyes. “We don't have a proper backstage room tonight, though…”

He paused and you were about to plan for an earlier bedtime if you had to go home right after the show. Then he leaned over to whisper in your ear, lips brushing against your skin as he spoke, “But nothing speaks against a bathroom quickie, does it?”

You turned your head and grinned. “I don't think so.”

Roger took your hand and pushed through the crowd, leading you to the corridor with the bathrooms. He pulled you into a stall and locked the door behind you before pressing you against it and hungrily making out with you.

It was cramped and you couldn't imagine doing anything experimental in there, but you knew how to deal with the space problem and give both of you a good time.

You got down on your knees and unzipped his trousers, pulling them down with his briefs. He put one hand against the wall and the other in your hair to guide your movements, moaning at every contact of your tongue and lips without even attempting to be quiet.

On one hand, you were afraid of strangers hearing you outside, but on the other hand, you were glad he was vocal about the pleasure you gave him. It validated your skills and motivated you to keep going. At the latest when you walked out of the bathroom with dishevelled hair and a panting Roger behind you, the people waiting for a free stall knew what you had been up to.

Before you left the venue, Roger kissed you ardently, not seeming to mind that you had just gone down on him – or maybe precisely because you had; you didn't know his preferences yet. “Thanks,” he smirked when he pulled away. “Until next time.”

If he started to notice your pattern, the plan apparently worked so far and the following week, you found yourself at another one of their gigs – this time in Brixton.

At the end of the set, Roger looked at you and subtly pointed to the right with the usual smile on his face. When you walked in this direction after they left the stage, you found the backstage door, which was guarded. The big man looked at you skeptically, but then Roger came out, nodding at the bouncer and motioning for you to join him.

Luckily, the dressing room wasn't occupied by anyone else and also larger than the bathroom stall from last time. “Now look at that, better than the bathroom,” he laughed, leaning against the door and slowly unbuttoning his striped shirt while checking you out, before adding, “Although you're very welcome to repeat that in a more spacious setting.”

You took that as an invitation and ordered him to take his pants off and sit on the couch. His startled initial reaction told you he preferred being in command, but since he knew he would love what he was going to get, he obeyed.

Unlike the last time you had given him head, you now had the capacity to get fucked afterwards as well. And boy, did he fuck you. At this point, your sense of shame was gone regarding trying to keep the volume down. You surely weren't the first people having sex in this club and you definitely weren't going to be the last.

It felt like a battle who could moan louder and there was no obvious winner. You hadn't noticed just how nearly deafening the sounds the two of you were making must have been until the room went almost frighteningly quiet after you came for the second time and tried to regain yourself.

Roger was lying on top of you and your fingers were still buried in his hair as your heartbeat slowly went back to a more normal pace and his breath tickled your neck.

A few moments later, he climbed off you and went to grab his clothes, handing you yours while he was already searching the floor. Still feeling lightheaded, you started to get dressed.

As Roger closed the buttons of his shirt, he asked, “I assume you’ll be at the Cavern tomorrow too?”

“Certainly,” you promised with a smirk, pulling your pants up and putting your shoes on.

You hoped he was looking forward to your frequent visits and not annoyed, but judging from those two great rounds you had just had and the smile that crept up on his lips when you confirmed you would go to their next gig, you guessed it was the former.

When you opened the door, Pete was standing in the corridor, sipping on a beer. “Got a new permanent groupie, Rog?” he asked, mindlessly fiddling with the wet label on his bottle before looking up at his bandmate and then at you.

“Fuck off, it's only the third time,” Roger rolled his eyes and walked away, dragging you with him. From the corner of your eye, you could see Pete raising his hand as if to wave at you before he turned to talk to a roadie, presumably.

“I can't start a fight with him. Pete doesn't get the groupie thing as much as John, Keith and I do, so he likes to tease us about it,” he explained when you were out of earshot.

As you stopped outside the back door, he looked into your eyes and placed his hands on your hips, giving them a light squeeze. “Anyway, tonight was fun. I'll see you tomorrow, then?”

“Of course,” you smiled and closed the gap between your mouths, quickly kissing him goodbye before making your way home.

[jaaankiey]

JANKIEY AO3 REWIND 2024 EDITION!!!

huh? what? i'm STILL doing the same shit?

2025 is here? what the fuck?? and i'm still in this fandom writing the same pairing? erm... what the scallop!

jokes aside, i'm glad i'm still here, still chugging even if its dumb leafpin stuff. i mean, writing is a good hobby to have or something.

i feel like this is the year of really long works for me, especially for the after-dark pseudo, ohowlom, so its been less about writing a bunch of different works and more about a few different works.

AND i managed to find the first 2023 rewind (again, i am in awe that it's another... YEAR). hopefully this means more to go over yipepepepe!!!

once again, join me as we go over my thoughts on my own works that no one asked for.

putting this under a cut because it's getting a bit long:

maybe you can wish upon a star (MYCWUAS) has spiritually turned into something much worse, enter santa salvacion. hasn't progressed very much due to the fact that i need to be in a specific type of mood to make each chapter (waiting for that hyperfixation to hit here's hoping) but it's gotten good reception! and by good reception, it's downright frightening. go team! :D

the special edition, snows of change, within the battle for warriors au was completed like... january 2024. it's been a while and throughout the year, i've been itching to start work on the official second book so to speak. some plot ideas are floating around, but as of now, it's probably safe to say that this series is in the backburner for now (but ARGHGH CLEARPAW AND SNOWSHADE MY BELOVEDS... I MUST TELL YOUR TALES...)

fluffiest fic of the year for me? hm... like i said, i feel like i haven't written many one-shots this time around. leafpin specific, i would have to go with for all the christmas in the world and/or the scholastic book fair in middle school. otherwise, i thought but with luck (coiny/firey work) had a super cute premise.

the parade of terror is coming is the new psychological drama/horror leafpin longfic that i'm trying to work through! been also putting a lot of work in the back scenes for this one and hope people will enjoy its insanity MWAHAHAH.

let's not forget other minor chaptered fics (that you totally shouldn't be reminded of that i haven't updated them in FOREVER) such as when the birds chase away the snow and the high wills in terms of the leafpin works! i think they're also pretty cute but argh... maybe i got too ahead of myself and jumped to the next idea.

introducing a silly new category for the silly new series, cosmic dreaming!

numerology is the foundational work for this despite being basic in nature. also HOLY COW, IT WAS MADE IN 2023?? all this time i thought it was this year bro...

however, i can confirm that self-worth is actually this year!! following ruby's interactions with the new god of Earth, maybe there's more to the gods than meets the eye as well as the meaning of life. (really this is an exploration into the whole cosmic horror type of writing). def planning more chapters with this and if not, an entirely new work. love the worldbuilding im doing in the background for this and no i will not stop.

moving on, word count! I think it's an interesting measure to track (mainly to see how deep my insanity goes). This is the one thing last year's rewind didn't go over... I think I just forgot so I'll just compare now.

Now, I'm not sure how Ao3's word count in the statistics page works (not sure if it counts builds from last year's word count into the new year or it solely. Leaning towards the former because there is no way I wrote as much as ao3 claims I have).

For reference, 2023's word count was 140,883 words! (jankiey2 started in 2022 and for that year, it said I only wrote 140,883 words).

For 2024? Nearly DOUBLE!!! 2024's word count was/is 303,706 words! (give or take in the off chance i somehow upload something before this year ends officially).

Despite being started in 2023, I gotta say the heaviest hitters were ohowlom's hammer and metal along with santa salvacion. (maybe what's new but sorry yall been slipping on getting that finished i have attachment issues kldnvakldnva).

ok but tell me why there's a fat chance that like 90% of those words... is all leafpin i s2g. /j i be like "im so normal" and then i do this shit.

last year's rewind has a little list of stuff i hoped to get to in the new year and while i don't have much ideas now (plus looking back, i realized i didn't do SHIT), let's do it anyways!

INTO THE 2025:

again, nothing's definite because ideas come and go like the summer birds, but hopefully they persist long enough in my mind to get done.

jankiey-specific works:

make a firey and firey jr work. PLEEEASE i love their dynamic and i have such cool ideas in my head... please i am suffering.

continue work on self-worth and the overall cosmic dreaming series/worldbuilding.

finish santa salvacion or at least... write more than two chapters for it.

FINALLY work on that sequel in the battle for warriors series.

ohowlom-specific works:

actually complete both what's new and hammer and metal. yes its gonna hurt me so bad staring at the screen and being like... "tHATS ALL??" but they have to be completed some day.

continue working on the parade of terror is coming. made like... a graph for it. future me will be pissed that i forget to update this.

Hope next year treats everyone well again! If you're a long time reader, thank YOU for reading my works and such. Don't care if you started this year or before, I appreciate you so much jkfnvjkndvjak!!! This year I recall chatting with a few awesome commenters on my works; really appreciate each one of yall.

[merlinfromberlin]

Oli!!!, maybe you don't know me very well because when I read your first story I was only a guest but I really follow you from the first chapter of "Champions are not born", I will only tell you that Your stories and ideas are simply fantastic and You really have a lot of creativity when creating them, I really love them and I hope that your week can change for the better ❤️‍🩹.

Now without further ado, I want to know more about "Starsabre Possession AU", I think I read a draft about it, it's where Bumblebee has his first cosmic horror experiment, losing control of his own body, isn't it?

My head can't stop thinking about the possibilities since you mentioned that there was some kind of ancient God trapped in the star saber and when Bee came back to life he also wasted it in his body, god I need more Context!!, I can't stop thinking In the horrors that this could bring to the team and to the new Cybertron under reconstruction, what is the entity? Is it malignant or benign? Will there be body horror in the equation? What plans does the entity have for young Bee?

I know the question is very ambiguous but god I need to know just a little more, especially how Optimus and Ratchet are handling it, their poor son is possessed by an unknown creature and they frankly seemed terrified.

(English is not my main language either but I don't know if I could ask you questions in Spanish )

Hi! ^^ We maybe haven't talked much yet, but I've seen you around for a long time and it's always a joy to see you pop up in my notifications. Knowing that you've literally been here since the first chpater of Champions Aren't Born is a bit mind-blowing, though. I feel very honoured by that. <3 Thank you so much for the compliment.

I sadly don't speak Spanish [yet], but it's very high up on my list of languages I want to learn. ^^"

Yes. I posted a sort of concept/idea for the "Starsabre Possession AU" a while ago. ^^

I'll answer your questions out of order, so that I can put the stuff that contains spoilers for the plot below the cut.

I know the question is very ambiguous but god I need to know just a little more, especially how Optimus and Ratchet are handling it, their poor son is possessed by an unknown creature and they frankly seemed terrified.

Neither Optimus nor Ratchet are doing too hot. However, neither of them is willing to even admit that to Bee. They are trying to pretend as if everything's normal, but at the same time it is very obvious that it isn't - they can't look Bee in the eyes, they start avoiding physical contact with him and are, in general, just very stressed. Whenever Bee tries to ask them about it or cheer them up, they do their best to divert his attention. And yes, they are terrified for Bee - maybe not as much in the beginning, but the longer the story goes on, the harder it gets for them to keep it together.

Will there be body horror in the equation?

I'll be honest, I only have a very vague understanding of what body horror entails, so I'd have to research first before I can make a more definitive statement on that.

However, if that helps in any way, shape or form, I can say that I'm usually a fan of psychological horror and don't like gore too much. ^^"

Is [the entity] malignant or benign?

Well, neither Optimus nor Ratchet are necessarily trying to stop the entity, at least not in the beginning. So, what happened at the Omega Lock has them convinced that it's benign. However, there is more to it than that and the longer all of this goes on, the more suspicious both of them (all of the bots, actually) get. :)

In the horrors that this could bring to the team and to the new Cybertron under reconstruction, what is the entity?

Okay. So, when I first wrote the concept, I had no clue what I wanted the entity to be. But then I remembered that the Aligned continuity had like, 13 Ancient Primes I could use for this. So, the entity is one of the 13 Primes. I've already settled on some of the Primes I want to be involved in the story, but there's some others I've not yet fully decided on because I need to research them some more first.

Which is also the reason why it'll probably take a while until I really start writing this story. I'll have to read the Covenant of Primus first and before I'm allowing myself to do that, I need to finish my essays for university. ^^"

What plans does the entity have for young Bee?

Oh, well. One of their goals is definitely to rebuild Cybertron according to their imagination. Another is going to be to get their own frame. :)

[rosesradio]

in the midst of ivory rain...

in the midst of ivory rain, i've been working on another fic. i've called it my "scrap fic" due to most of the chapters being relatively short and quick. it is also in an entirely different format than what i am used to writing--some of the chapters are in regular chapter format while others are "transcriptions" of audio files, official forms, and notes left by a variety of characters.

it is an au that entirely reshapes the pjo world, and is mostly told from the perspectives of percy, annabeth, leo, and nico. i don't want to give away too too much (though i'm about to anyway lol) , though i thought i would share some snippets to see if anyone is interested in seeing how the story would unfold.

This is the archive:

To whomever this may concern,

If you do not immediately understand the full context behind the archive, destroy it immediately for the gods' sake.

Actually, if you do understand the full context of the archive, you know you need to destroy it anyway.

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Annabeth Chase: Hello, this is Annabeth Chase. I am a sixteen year old investigative researcher from San Francisco, and now I live in New York. I, uh...for years, I have been unraveling the larger story around isolated events. As my assistant—as my friend, Leo, said—we, like most, have been the victims of rampant monster attacks. Whenever anyone tries to take a picture of these monsters, it never turns out. It's...blurry, or dark, or comes across as something entirely different than what it is.

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[The following is a torn newspaper clipping originating from The Manhattan Mirror.]

Amongst the conversation on the origins of these events, religious leaders have drawn a unique conclusion. They have stated these attacks and heroes are indicative of the second coming of Jesus Christ, among other religious implications. @ PeterTheDeciple received backlash for his post on Twirler last week stating: "If you have been the victim of a monster attack, sorry, but that is the price of your sins. I have never been attacked by a monster, but you know who has? My ex-girlfriend, who engaged in pre-marital sex (with someone who was not me). It's better to accept your fate, because God is coming soon, and He will only accept those who accept Him in their heart. I have a course for the low-low price of $99.99 that will show you the light...[Thread Continues]"

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Just like that, someone like Riptide could take off the mask and blend in with the rest of New York City. Other kids like him, ones that could mess with other elements or fight off the monsters, could be at the grocery store or in Public School #831.

The kid was right. The attacks have been getting worse. Even before that kid's time, the world was a wasteland. But as long as they had heroes to protect them...maybe things wouldn't be so bad.

[sunnyrealist]

🌶️ Ch. 24: Let Yourself Dream Again 🌶️

The Sun, the Moon, and All Our Stars

Summary and Details…

Chapter Background and Summary: In a previous chapter, Kate ran into Henry Finch, her friend and ex-boyfriend. Sebastian did not like this interaction much, which resulted in rather possessive sex and a tough but honest conversation about why he reacted that way. This chapter takes place the following morning.

Pairing: Aged-up, post-Azkaban Sebastian Sallow x female OC (Kate Mayflower)

Content warnings: In general, this story is rated 18+, so MNDI! For this specific chapter: handjob and oral sex - both male receiving 🌶️, angst because Sebastian doesn't feel that he has anything to live for other than Kate, and a discussion about an emotionally abusive relationship with an ex.

The full chapter is available below the cut; it can also be found on AO3 (link is posted below). Any kind of constructive feedback would be greatly appreciated. A comment, like, or Kudos would make my day!

Chapter 24: Let Yourself Dream Again

Even though Kate had previously thought they wouldn’t sleep much that night, they actually did (after another round of lovemaking, naturally). When she woke, she felt more well-rested than she had in quite some time. There was something so comforting about his arms around her, their skin to skin contact. And falling asleep to whispers of sweet words - words of love - was the best part of it all.

It seems late enough in the morning that she doesn’t hesitate to kiss Sebastian to wake him. Gently, she presses her lips to his.

“Good morning,” Kate whispers. “Good morning, my love. My Sebastian.”

Slowly, his eyes begin to blink open. He inhales sharply, looking around and slowly realizing where he is - in Kate’s embrace, in her cozy bedroom. 

“I love you,” she continues whispering. “It’s morning, my love.”

“Mmmm,” he hums in appreciation as she kisses his cheek. “Good morning, Kate.”

They lay silently for a long time, snuggling closer together. Their peace is only disturbed by some birds chirping loudly outside. 

“Oh, I forgot… there are some birds building a nest right outside this window,” Kate murmurs. “I meant to deter them earlier this week, and it might be too late now.” She sighs.

Sebastian smiles. “That’s alright. We’re too busy nesting here ourselves, I suppose.” He pulls Kate closer. “Gods, I love you, Kate.” He pauses for a few moments. “Look… I… wanted to apologize again about last night. Thank you for listening to me last night about why I reacted the way I did to your ex-boyfriend," he continues. "It’s been a long time since I’ve had someone so understanding but also willing to tell me I'm being ridiculous." He caresses Kate's hair. “And I was being ridiculous.”

Kate smiles faintly. "I love you, Sebastian. Of course I wanted to hear your side. It was only fair. And your explanation made sense to me. It just makes me sad to hear that you think you have nothing else to live for outside of me." She stares up at the ceiling. "Sebastian, if you can gain your freedom, there will be so much to live for. Think of all of the things you could do in life. Travel, explore… see the world! You would have boundless time to study anything you want. You can make new friends, and maybe you’ll reconnect with your old ones in time. You can start a career of your own choosing. And of course, we’ll grow closer together…” she trails off, not quite daring enough yet to say what she is really thinking about the future.

Sebastian brushes his fingers through her golden hair as he considers his next words.

"Kate, you don't understand," he says softly. "Nothing compares to you. You are the only reason I even bothered trying again after everything." There is a long pause. "I've seen things no one should ever see, done things no person should ever do. There's nothing left for me except starting over with you by my side."

"I want you by my side, Sebastian. But your life should be so much more than just me." She cups his face in her hand. His eyes close as he leans into her touch. "Whether you agree with the sentiment or not, you deserve happiness after all you've been through. So… please, let yourself dream again. Just imagine what our lives together could be like... We can go anywhere, see anything, learn about anything. Just promise me you won't give up on yourself ever again."

"I promise," he whispers, his eyes filling with determination. "And thank you, Kate. For everything." He leans in to press his lips to hers.

Kate returns the kiss eagerly, her fingers weaving into his messy morning hair. She scoots closer to him under the covers, sighing as he embraces her and runs his hands up and down her bare back.

"Mmm, you taste so good," he whispers between kisses, feeling her lips curl into a smile. His own body is heating up quickly, responding to her touch and desire. He breaks the kiss momentarily, trailing warm breaths across her neck before nipping lightly at the sensitive skin there. "There is nothing I want more than to taste you for the rest of my life."

Kate exhales sharply as Sebastian moves towards her collarbone. Her hands move down to his back, sliding over his muscles down to his arse. "The rest of your life?" she whispers breathlessly, in wonder how he is so easily able to say such things… 

"Yes," he affirms genuinely, his hands sliding up her thighs to squeeze her arse cheeks. "I know it's early to say such a thing... but I mean it. I do." He places a soft kiss on her collarbone. "I want you to be happy, Kate. Even happier than you’ve made me. Whatever you dream of doing, I'll support you completely. That's how I would like to spend the rest of my life."

Kate presses herself completely to him, feeling a wave of love wash through her from her head to her chest, settling in her belly. 

"Sebastian..." she whispers, kissing his lips deeply. "Sebastian..."

"Hmm?" he hums, and then his tongue seeks entry into her mouth. They engage in a passionate kiss, their tongues dancing together as they explore each other's mouths hungrily. His hand moves between them, reaching up to squeeze her breast and flick his finger against her nipple.

Kate whimpers in response, wrapping her leg over his and feeling his firm arousal against her lower abdomen. "I... I love you, Seb..." she whimpers.

"I love you too, Kate." He groans against her lips. Breaking the kiss, he trails his tongue down her neck, stopping at her cleavage before suckling on her nipple. His hand reaches further down to cup her other breast, massaging it gently while his thumb rubs circles around her hardened nipple.

With a moan, Kate reaches down to grip his cock. She brushes her finger across his tip, feeling pre-cum bubbling up. She begins to pump her hand up and down. The sensation sends pleasure coursing through Sebastian. He bites down on her shoulder lightly, groaning as she begins to stroke him faster. His hips respond involuntarily, thrusting forward into her touch. 

"That feels so good," he rasps out, his voice hoarse with desire.

"You... you deserve... to feel good," she pants out. "Let me make you feel good..." She works her hand faster, watching his reactions as he groans, trying to learn what he likes.

"Kate..." His breath is hot against her neck. His grasp tightens on her ass, pulling her closer to him. He thrusts into her hand, matching the rhythm of her strokes. "I’m almost... almost there," he growls, his voice cracking with need.

"Seb... not yet..." she whispers, then rips the covers away and completely changes position, her face level with his dick. "I've been wanting to do this... for a long time now..." 

With full eye contact, Kate traces her tongue slowly along his thick length, tracing his bulging veins, as if she is licking a peppermint stick or lollipop. She moistens her lips, then brings him deeply into her mouth, sucking. She isn’t certain she can fully take him, so she wraps her hand around his base to continue stroking him.

A moan escapes Sebastian's lips as Kate's warm, wet mouth engulfs his cock. He reaches down and tangles his fingers into her hair, gripping tightly as she begins to suck him hungrily. Her tongue swirls around the head of his cock, teasing him mercilessly. "Kate..." he pants out, his hips rocking forward instinctively.

She slides off of him with a pop, panting and trying to catch her breath before diving back in. This time, she takes him much deeper. She looks up at him with half-hooded eyes as her head bobs on his cock.

"Oh, Gods above..." he groans, his hands gripping the sheets tightly as she takes him deeper than anyone ever has. "That's... fuck!" He arches his back, unable to resist her skilled ministrations. His cock throbs in her mouth, close to exploding.

"Not yet," she commands, pulling off again. "I want you… to enjoy this… for a while longer." She starts sucking him more slowly, teasingly, hollowing her cheeks and humming.

"Kate, please..." he begs in a gravelly voice. His hips buck and thrust into her mouth in desperation. He reaches down and grabs a handful of her hair again, tugging gently but firmly. "I'm close... so fucking close!"

Kate gags when he hits the back of her throat unexpectedly. Trying to keep her composure, she reminds herself to relax. Even so, tears begin to form in her eyes. As she sucks him off, her tongue swirls around his tip over and over again. He looks physically pained as his face twists, trying to hold back but failing.

"Kate!" he practically shouts, his orgasm crashing over him like a tidal wave. He comes hard in her mouth, filling it to the brim with his thick, hot seed. His body shudders violently as wave after wave of pleasure ripples through him. Finally spent, he releases her hair, panting heavily.

Kate attempts to take it all down her throat at once, but there's just so much. Some of it dribbles out of her mouth and runs down her chin as she continues to swallow it down little by little. She breathes heavily through her nose as she gazes upon him, watching his chest rising and falling rapidly. His eyes are half-lidded, a satisfied smile on his lips. He reaches out a shaking hand to brush away the excess cum from her face and chin.

Kate smiles at him, her blue eyes shining. She readjusts and lets herself fall down next to Sebastian on the bed, pulling his arm around her so she can snuggle against his chest. "I love you... I just want to please you, Sebastian. I want to... to help you make up for the happiness and time you lost in Azkaban. If I can." She kisses his chest, lingering.

"You already have, Kate," he whispers into her ear. "You've brought me back from the brink of despair. I thought I'd never feel alive again until you came into my life." He cups her face in his hands, tilting it up so their eyes lock. "Thank you. Forever and always."

They kiss tenderly for several minutes, then resume their cuddling. 

"I feel so safe, so loved with you," Kate whispers, then takes a deep breath. His affection has given her bravery. "I... I don't ever want to be parted from you, my moon." Her cheeks go pink. She takes his hand and intertwines their fingers. "It's... it's like you said, Sebastian. It's early to say that, but... it's the truth. It's how I really feel. I think our lives are intertwined forever now."

"Yes," he tells her, his eyes welling up with tears upon hearing her say it. He leans down and plants a gentle kiss on her forehead. "We belong together, Kate. I knew I needed your love from the moment I first laid my eyes on you."

"And I knew the moment we touched that there was something special between us," Kate admits. "The first time we kissed, it was like… I knew deep down that it would be my last first kiss." She pulled his head down to smooch him again.

"My last first kiss," he echoes. "I'm so glad it was you. I’m so glad you feel the same way, my sun." He rolls onto his side, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer still. "So, what do you say? Shall we stay here all day or...?" He winks teasingly.

Kate laughs. "I suppose not all day, but... I wouldn't mind a lazy morning in bed with you. Maybe we can have breakfast in bed?"

"Sounds perfect," he agrees. "I'll whip up something for us." He kisses her again before reluctantly pulling away. Standing up, he stretches his long legs. Before he heads towards the kitchen, Kate ogles his muscular, naked body. As soon as he walks off, she scoots into the warm spot he left behind in bed, pulling the covers closer and closing her eyes contentedly in relaxation.

In the kitchen, Sebastian hums to himself as he starts preparing breakfast. He rummages through cupboards and quickly figures out what he can make with the ingredients at hand. He prepares eggs, toast with jam, and tea. He washes some blueberries in the sink.

Entering the bedroom once more, he sees Kate curled up in bed, her beautiful form illuminated by the light filtering through the curtains. A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips as he sets the tray down beside her. 

"Breakfast is ready when you are," he says softly, climbing back into bed and pulling her close once more.

Sebastian kisses her forehead and puts his arm around her as she sits up. Kate nuzzles into his warmth, kissing his bare, freckle-dusted shoulder. Her bare breasts pop out of the covers as she lifts her arms to fix her hair. She quickly moves to cover her chest, but Sebastian places his hand on the sheets as if to tell her not to.

"Please, don't hide yourself from me, Kate," he murmurs softly. His eyes travel downwards, taking in the sight. His voice deepening, he continues, "I've seen you naked several times now, but it never gets old. You're beautiful, my love." 

He reaches out and trails a fingertip along her collarbone before cupping her chin between his thumb and index finger, tilting her face upwards. Their gazes lock for a moment, their hearts beating in sync. Both of them lean in, their lips meeting tenderly and slowly. 

"I love you, my moon. I don't want to say goodbye to you later today. I don't want to go to sleep alone tonight. I don’t want to have to get up for work in the morning.” She pouts. “I want to wake up every morning next to you and spend it lazily. Hours in bed," Kate tells him, grinning now. "I'm so happy, my love. So happy to have you here with me. I just never want this feeling to end." 

"Me too," he agrees, his voice breaking slightly. "At least we can still spend the whole day together." He reaches down and picks up a piece of toast smothered in strawberry jam and hands it to her.

After they finish eating, they snuggle back together, their bodies pressed tightly against each other. Kate rests her head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat while Sebastian strokes her hair idly.

“About last night…” Kate breaks the silence. “I want to tell you something about myself so you understand where I am coming from as well.”

“Yes, please, go ahead,” Sebastian encourages, brushing a stray piece of hair that has fallen into her face.

“I might have mentioned this quite some time ago,” she explains. “My last serious relationship ended about two years ago. It was not a healthy one at all.”

Sebastian’s brows furrow, gazing at her in worry about what she was about to tell him.

“When I graduated from Hogwarts, I moved back home with my parents. I got a job in a bookshop in a nearby village, and that’s where I met him. His name was Joel Kingsbury. He was a few years older than me - I was 20. We met at the bookshop. He came in and asked me to help him find some books. I was perhaps too kind, made too many recommendations… and he started to come into the shop all of the time. He seemed sweet and very obviously interested in me. One day, he asked me out for tea, and I agreed. I thought he was charming and romantic, and we began seeing each other. It all started so great. I fell in love very quickly. My life had been pretty boring since graduation, and suddenly, things were exhilarating again.” Kate explained. 

She glanced up at Sebastian to make sure he was listening. “I chose not to listen to my intuition, over and over again. Joel… was not who I thought he was. He was possessive and completely jealous. He would create huge fights about how I chose to spend my time and who I spent it with. If I saw my friends, it was only because I wanted to leave him for one of my male friends. If I wanted to spend time with my family or visit my sister while she was at Hogwarts, he would throw a fit because I was choosing them over him. It was always a competition.” 

She paused. “The final straw for me was when my friends from Hogwarts decided to rent a cabin one winter for New Year’s Eve. There wasn’t enough room in the cabin to bring significant others, so it was just going to be our original old Hufflepuff crew… and my friends did not like Joel. I should have realized that that was an issue, too, but I just kept rationalizing it to myself by thinking that they just didn’t understand him and that only I did. So, anyway, I went to the cabin with my friends. Joel had asked me to contact him via Floo that night, which was a reasonable request, but once I did, he kept me talking to him for hours while my friends visited and celebrated downstairs. He shouted at me about how I was a terrible girlfriend for leaving him behind. He accused me of wanting to cheat on him with not just one but two of my male friends. It could not have been further from the truth.”

She sighed, and Sebastian took her hand. “He told me that if I walked away from the Floo, he would… h-hurt himself. I felt like I had no choice. I sat and talked with him about mundane things for hours, while my friends, some of whom I rarely saw, got to catch up without me. A few of my friends kept checking on me upstairs to make sure everything was alright, and I had to pretend I wasn’t crying. It was humiliating, Sebastian. I sobbed when I could hear them celebrate the clock striking midnight. Joel finally left the Floo a half hour afterwards - of course when all of my friends were completely drunk and falling asleep.”

“That’s horrible,” Sebastian finally said, squeezing her hand.

It’s clear to him that this is hard for Kate to say. “When I returned home on New Year’s Day, I had resolved to break up with him. I met him at his flat. The moment the door closed, he screamed at me for ages about how I was unfaithful to him. I cried and told him we were done. He started to panic and threatened to hurt himself again. I kept my resolve and insisted that no matter what he said, I was breaking up with him. When I said that, Joel picked up a glass and threw it at the wall, just a few feet from my head. I ran out of his flat.

“Afterwards, he tried to contact me via Floo, and at first, I was polite and would chat with him for a few minutes before making an excuse. Then, he began to show up at my parents’ home with gifts. Eventually, I instructed our maid to pretend I was not at home. Finally, he began to stalk me at the bookshop, where I could not escape him. Every time Joel would come in, he’d bring flowers and make a huge scene. My boss started to get upset because I was always hiding in the back room instead of stocking books. I was pretty sure I was going to be let go, so… even though I loved that job, I quit.” Kate sighed, frowning, tears forming in her eyes.

“He started sending owls every day - sometimes twice a day. Some of the letters were Howlers. I would never answer him back. Weeks later, he was still showing up at my parents’ home looking for me. That’s when I realized I had to leave Epping Forest. He would never let up otherwise.” She looked off into the distance. “And… that is when I found the job posting at Hogwarts and when I purchased my cottage. My parents didn’t want me to move - they thought I’d be safer with them, and they didn’t think - well, my mamma didn’t think - a ‘lady of my station’ needed a full-time job. But I had to go.”

“I… I didn’t realize that that was the full reason you live here,” Sebastian replied. He saw a tear fall from her eye and brushed it away. “I’m so sorry you went through something like that. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way. You hadn’t done anything wrong.” He leaned down so look into her eyes. “Kate, you’re… quite strong. Brave. I had no idea.”

“It took me some time to learn that it was not my fault. I had years to reflect.” She paused for a long while. “I never want to feel trapped like that again. I need a partner who will not keep me from family and friends. Someone who will trust me completely.” 

Kate’s eyes flick back up to Sebastian’s. He inhales, finally realizing the point of the story. 

“Sebastian, do you understand?” she asks.

He nods. “Yes, I understand, my love.” He brings her hand to his lips. “Thank you for telling me. I promise that I will try my best to control my jealousy.” He pauses. “If there’s ever something bothering you, please tell me - don’t keep your feelings bottled inside. You’re… you’re my future, Kate. I want to be the best partner I can be for you. I mean it with all my heart. I love you.” 

Sebastian wraps his arms around Kate, holding her tight. “I trust you.”