#maybe i'm projecting onto both of them tho

[juniperpyre]

🤍💚 !!

as always these are long lmao

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

to be fair lily is soooo up to interpretation since we only see her through the lens of men (mostly snape). it's hard to say anything is particularly wrong besides flat portrayals. but seriousbrat who's analysis (x x) I always love has been talking about how the boys are often not written like teenage boys, in favor of woke feminist heros, and I think the same can be said for lily.

I think even people that like her use her as the moral compass. but she does almost laugh when james is bullying snape in SWM. so I see her more as someone who wants very badly to be good and kind, but it's at odds with her own desires/wants and sometimes needs (she needed to drop snape before it got to the point of him calling her a slur fr fr).

not that i don't think she's kind. I think she grows to balance the over-empathetic parts of her with her own needs, and dating James is linked to that. in the sense that she's doing something that she used to think would be wrong, but now is like "fuck it I want to".

so yeah back to her almost laughing, I think lily has an instinct towards cruelty to some extent. we know that severus, sirius and james all have a talent for cruelty, and those are the three people we see her befriending in the text. her being a woman also plays into her being the moral compass, but i would say that the pressures of her two societies necessitated her to be more mindful of her behavior. she had less options for recklessness, but, again, we know james and sirius are reckless! and severus is taking some sort of risk by signing up with the death eaters. she doesn't fuck with people who play it safe.

so yes i think there is this part of her she sees as bad that is interested in dark magic and being a bitch bc it's fun (oversimplification) that all three of those relationships allow her to explore in different ways. usually she keeps it locked away unless she deems it acceptable to use as a weapon. i think being a mom brings this part of her out, more, for better or worse.

🤍: Which character is not as morally bad as everyone else seems to think?

this is kind of random but molly weasley. I think she was adored uncritically in early fandom and now she's just bashed both of which I think are two sides of the misogyny coin.

In general people project their own relationships with their parents onto characters like molly & walburga. molly is not super emotionally mature, she's cruel to hermione in book 4, she yells at her children and she plays favorites.

she also is the sole caretaker for all of her children, her husband, and then in 5, 6 and 7 the whole of the order. do we see anyone else taking the lead on household management? no! that's an enormous amount of stress. it's clear she feels responsible for the well being of her children and they are constantly in danger.

her two brothers died in the first war. she births all of her children during a war (ginny is born a few months before jily die). her whole adult life has been shaped by this conflict, and I'm sure it's impact what she believes care should look like. she's desperately afraid of her children making the wrong choices and ending up in a bad situation. I know this comes in the form of nagging about grades and making good career choices, but it's impossible for there not to be something deeper there

like I did not grow up with war in my country but I've had an incredibly unstable life up until age 25/26 (I am 27). my younger sibling (22) who I raised also has! and when she makes choices, there is a deep level of anxiety for me. there's a looming fear that something will end with extreme harm, even if that doesn't seem connected to that choice. I can only imagine how much that's multiplied when it's 1) your own children 2) active war & 3) your brothers died in the active war.

plus she makes me think of all the invisible labor women do to help war efforts. I don't think she's a great mom but I don't think she's horrible, she loves her children & is trying very hard and sometimes falling short or even failing. to err is human tho.

[noblehouseofgay]

any trans pregnant Reg headcanons? 🧐

I meeeaaann

I definitely think he has like, complicated feelings on both marriage and kids for a fuck ton of reasons. One being, growing up afab in the house of Black meant those were the only things he was good for. So I think he was pretty opposed to them......until James that is

Once he had been with james for a few years, he realized marriage might actually be nice if it's james

Pregnancy tho, I don't think he changed his mind much on thay. He definitely had a lot of hurdles to jump on the being a parent thing, he was terrified of the idea, scared he'd end up like his parents

I think if it's Harry and it's shared parenting between jegulus and lily and her partner, then it took him time to adjust. He never even let himself consider being Harry's parent until Harry himself called him that. Then ofc he cried for like 2 hours

That kind of made him think about yk, what if they ever wanted another

On one hand, I project onto him bc I've always hated the idea of pregnancy. Even without the trans aspect I've hated it, it's gross and painful and not worth it in my eyes and I think he would be similar. Plus yk dysphoria obviously

On the other hand, I'm not against the idea of him being pregnant. I think it could be sweet for him and james to have thay conversation. I think regulus would bring it up awkwardly lile randomly going "...if you ever wanted another one...yk...a baby.....I'd be ok with it" and james would assume he meant adoption and ofc james is happy bc he loves kids. And regulus is like "no..one that's yk...made from us...a little bit of us both."

Ykw? I might write this. Which is shocking bc in the beginning of this I didn't care much for it, and now im like "hm- yk maybe-"

Anways that was a lot of words

[yuri-is-online]

Masquerade request with number 5 for Jamil (tho not sure he'd be shy, more like reticent, potentially) aand since I can ask for two others I guess I might as well go for Azul and Deuce who kinda seem like suitable sorts for this prompt.

Ty!

-viperwhispered

5. You know it's him and he knows it's you, but you're both a bit too shy to admit you would like to keep holding onto each other when the masks come off, so you'll just stay here together a little longer.

Completely agree that Jamil wouldn't be shy in this scenario, more like a prisoner of his own self destructive tendencies. Also hello! I'm always really happy to see you in my notifications Whisper <(˶ᵔᵕᵔ˶)> Your comments are always very much appreciated.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, this is mildly angsty and I am uncertain if I have provided any comfort here. Uhh unrequited requited love, everyone here is a pining idiot, Deuce is bro zoning himself. The other event requests can be found on my masterlist.

Jamil

He is unprepared for what it feels like to hold you.

It's one thing to look at someone, another to think of them, but both keep a level of imagination to the interaction. Jamil doesn't have the risk of failure in his imagination; he can comfort himself in his perceived superiority and not actually make the effort. There is no warmth in those thoughts, no weight, no you, nothing resembling the delicate weight in his arms that he finds himself wanting to-

"Are you alright?" You ask softly, bringing some focus back to Jamil's eyes, he smiles at you and you wish you could be certain that he really means it.

"I'm just... unused to this." Jamil chooses his words carefully. He does not expect you to know it's him, but there's always the chance someone else does. It makes him feel sick to think the small sigh of relief you give could be meant for someone else, his mind has a ready supply of suspects, but tonight is supposed to be for strangers to play act at romance. He is... allowed... to want this. "I am not that interesting of a guy, you know?"

"I'm sure you're plenty interesting." You say and Jamil swallows to steady himself, trying to remind the spiraling fractions of his mind that you are saying this to a stranger. You would, you have very likely, said this to anyone who needed the encouragement. "If you let yourself go I am sure you will find there's a person underneath the act." But would it be one you approve of? And why is he worrying over that when everyone should approve of him anyway, especially considering what middling results his classmates are barely capable of?

"Your compliments aren't necessary." His smile says otherwise but you cannot bring yourself to push it least you push Jamil away. "But if you wish to keep them coming I will not stop you." You wind your arms around him to pull Jamil just a bit closer. If only he could read your mind as well as command it, if only he wanted you as much as you wanted him.

"Are you sure you can withstand it?" No he's not. "Because I could go on for quite some time." You are clearly teasing him. Jamil's heart should be used to stress, it's been working overtime since he was first sworn over to Kalim, but he's not. There's something new about this stress, or maybe it isn't stress at all and that's just what he's labeling it because that's what he is used to feeling.

"I can take anything." Jamil certainly projects something like confidence, but even as the other guests begin removing their masks his stays firmly put. In both senses you suppose, unable to keep a bitter sigh from escaping you.

But you say nothing, choosing to simply squeeze his hand and hope that he will somehow inhale the meaning of your movements with the sharp breath he takes.

You can want this, please say you want this, please say you want me and give me a reason to stay.

But he can't in good conscious. He is bound by a duty he wishes upon no one, he refuses to ask properly. Just what it is Jamil wants of you needs to be asked for in freedom. So once again you slip away into the night alone with his hand reaching out towards you just out of sight.

Azul

"You have a strong grip." Your voice is muffled as the gentle, but strong hand at the back of your head keeps you firmly resting on this handsome "stranger's" shoulder.

Azul appears to be under the impression this will be easier on him if he cannot see you, but he seems to have forgotten he still can look down the expanse of your back when he holds you this close. What you're doing can barely be described as dancing, swaying is what people might call it but Azul barely registers that he is moving.

"Of course I do." His voice lacks the usual musical performance you associate with it, he sounds almost... tired. Overwhelmed, you decide is the more accurate term as you exhale into his neck and try not to savor the way he shudders. "To keep precious things close is what any pirate would do, hm?" You smile.

"Fancy yourself a heart thief? I would think that's a more Heartslabyul gig." He stiffens, you know he was just trying to make a jest at the appearance of his costume but you appear to have touched some sort of nerve. Azul pulls you closer, arm wrapping properly around your waist instead of simply sitting on it.

"Is it?" Azul wants to vomit all his feelings up, eject them like a sea cucumber and walk off the embarrassment from showing his guts. Anything has to be less painful than thinking of his-

No you are not his. That's why he is being a coward and not looking you in the eye like any proper gentleman would. Why he had asked for a dance, kissed your hand, and not let go of you all under the flimsy pretense of a mask. Azul dislikes taking solace in your kindness, but he knows he can rely on you to not make him pay for this. Even if you really should.

"Has your heart already been carried off to a maze?" Azul is trying to make a joke, but you are so close to his heart you can hear the nerves hammering away at his typical sense of self.

"I think my heart is drowning." You whisper it, low into his pulse point before your eyes squeeze close in embarrassment. Azul's pulse does not slow, and he cannot squeeze you any closer, a sure sign as if you needed it that he isn't Floyd nor could he ever pretend to be. But he can guide you into a sway that's a little more like a dance.

This is enough for tonight. It will not be enough tomorrow, but it is enough for tonight.

Deuce

This is how friends look at each other. Deuce would know because he has never looked at you any other way. There's a respectful distance between you both, an almost boring decorum to the proper ballroom dance he is happily guiding you in. If it weren't for his continued refusal to call you by your name or meaningless title, it would be like you were talking normally.

"Do they have dances like this where you're from?" Deuce is genuine in his interest, always eager to find a new way to ensure you feel like you belong.

"In books and movies maybe." Your laughter makes him soar, spinning you into the air for a brief second that adds a shriek to it that brings a grin to his face that has you feeling lightheaded. "Honestly I never thought I would get a chance to go to something like this!"

"Why not?" It's a stupid question, even if you have repeatedly reassured him there is no such thing.

"Well a Masquerade is kind of a rich people thing, and I'm not rich." Technically you shouldn't be here either, but you let that thought go unsaid. It never even crosses Deuce's mind, there is something so natural about having you in his arms that the idea of a world without you in it-

A world without you in it. It crystalizes as someone taps on the mic to announce the band will play just one as nice slow song that if everything in Twisted Wonderland had been normal he would be rolling his eyes at as he escapes to the sidelines. But that's not what's happening, he is pulling you closer to him and placing his arm around your waist without so much as a second thought.

"I'm not rich either." Deuce says, no where near as stiff in tone or posture as you would have expected him to be when trying to slow dance. If anything he holds you as if it is the most natural thing in the world to him, lapsing into uncharacteristic silence as he really looks you in the eyes with some strange hidden emotion in them.

It's always been there of course, this is always the way Deuce looks at you, but the mask ironically forces you to really see it.

"I'm lucky to be in this world with you." He means it, and though you hold tightly to his hand he doesn't think you know just how much.

[turian]

beloved gamer mutual & comrade @rhubarbspring tagged me to do a video game about me ( tysm for tagging !! truly loved reading all ur game thoughts. <3 ) explanations behind my choices under the cut.

(also, i had to cheat a little bit in the "you love, everyone hates" category, because i don't think people on tumblr hate da2, but one of my best friends despises it because of reused assets and combat designed more for consoles than pcs. and i can't remember any other controversial beloved games right now. the best i can do is games i love that i'm not sure anyone remembers? imagine ubisoft ballet? which, like. do people hate that. i don't think so).

tagging @cowsquirrel @malcriada @sakraya @ansburg @anoramactir + literally anyone i might have missed who wants to do this

favourite game of all time: so, look, i hate her as much as i love her. i always go back to new vegas even though i have a lot of criticisms of it - i had a realization recently after the release of the fallout show that while maybe i was projecting intergenerational trauma onto the game and using it to process some things, there is a lot in the game that is extremely imperialistic, even as it dabbles in anti imperialism. i can't get into all that here - better essays than i'm capable of have already been written on new vegas - but i also have to admit that new vegas taught me to see game writing differently, and helped me a great deal in improving my own writing. it's also just really entertaining playing later games by obsidian and picking out the new vegas elements. i think that new vegas gets praised too readily for being progressive when in reality it's only the most progressive game in the fallout franchise, and i think every time i return to it i'm noticing one more thing that'll kind of be making my eye twitch. but, yeah, i think it would also be dishonest to not include it here, regardless of my mixed feelings, because i keep going back, and because there are so many angles to it, and because i keep catching myself comparing other games to it.

i think a lot about like........... how so many themes i can relate to exist within the narrative of new vegas, but that doesn't feel entirely intentional. like, benny is so real to me because ! he was forced to assimilate into this culture that was not his to survive. and ulysses as well. and like!!!! yeah idk. going insane. i feel very similarly about dragon age elves tbh i'm like okay i feel seen but also this game is racist! kms :') will be projecting hard and taking so much psychic damage

many such cases tho </3 baldur's gate 3 and their treatment of the gur is always going to be a mix of relatable and uncomfortable to me

favourite series: soulsborne! i like how bleak it is, love the theme of death and rebirth, love how thankless the games can be, and i also love how the combat reminds me of muay thai. had a coach explain something to me using dark souls combat as an example once. i didn't really get these games at first, until i saw my best friend playing - she is ridiculously good at them - and then i sort of realized that they're just combat puzzles, and that like... they're kind of about honing patience, i guess? and after that they really became my favourite.

best soundtrack: honorary mentions: mass effect and dark souls both have some individual tracks i revisit on the daily, and skyrim's secunda is beautiful. but hollow knight doesn't miss, and i love how every track matches its environment.

favourite protagonist: i grew up in a really dysfunctional somewhat criminal family so like... lol. i feel seen when i look at arthur morgan <3 him and charles are both close to my heart. john can stay too ig

favourite villain: SO okay, maybe this is cheating a little, but. the reapers from mass effect. went into that game with zero spoilers, and finding out that they were in fact cosmic horror games was so <3

this would probably have gone to new vegas except benny (and also ulysses + i think he's more narrative foil than antagonist, as is benny) literally did nothing wrong in my eyes and after that point it's like... who is the main antagonist? the ncr and legion both? like yeah they're interesting but...

best story: i haven't actually finished pathologic on my own yet. kind of obsessed, though. just feels responsible to put it here. honorary mentions to new vegas, some fromsoft titles, twd, imagine ubisoft ballet........ (i love her and i miss her).

i feel like a lot of story games i've played actually have garbage stories with good characters, which is why they're not here. baldur's gate 3 and ME, for example. or like... ME has a great story at first but they fuck up the ending so badly that a popular theory i've heard passed around essentially boils down to "it was all a dream!"

have not played but want to: i was actually supposed to apply for a job with the team that made these games !! i didn't because it would have required relocation to the US, but. idk i feel like they keep showing up, always highly recommended, and i think i own one? so yeah, i should really get around to that.

you love, everyone hates: again, i cheated on this one. i don't think people on here hate dragon age 2.

you hate, everyone loves: skyrim, detroit: become human, stardew valley (because it's a weird little cottagecore colonialism game but also because i don't really vibe with the art style and i get stressed as fuck in it because nothing is happening... it is simply not for me), and fallout 3 and 4 (because they're masquerading as games with choices but they fully aren't, they suffer from bethesda writing, and they are super unapologetically racist and imperialist). i mean like... not mad at any of my friends who like these games i just cannot play them. i don't really think any of the games on my list are unimpeachable, tbf.

favourite art style: disco elysium !! it's so <3 like, i also love it for other reasons!! but every time i play it i end up wanting to draw.

favourite ending: new vegas has four endings. i feel differently about them all, but the independent ending is very much shaped by the infrastructure the player assembles during a playthrough, and while it is maybe imperfect and very open ended in some ways i like how it doesn't really reassure the player. also, i really like certain elden ring endings and the dark souls 1 ending. and pathologic.

favourite boss fight: hollow knight has a lot i've really enjoyed (particularly hornet's). for elden ring, malenia is the fave, tho <3 when i defeat her i tend to feel really disappointed. like, get up. let's go again. parrying her is extremely satisfying.

childhood game: we like... found out we had some cousins which is wild because this has been a tiny family since Certain Incidents A Long Time Ago and they also had nintendo ds access and they were not into this game. and like... look, i'm not saying it's great, but it had dark souls ish combat? like, you could lock on? you could roll? and i ended up replaying it as an adult and being like. huh. not that bad.

+ imagine ubisoft ballet ily

relaxing games: distance, injustice 2 (i main red hood & black canary but i like playing robin too. it's super imbalanced and they still haven't nerfed starfire !! and it's incredibly funny like good for her), dark souls 1, and elden ring.

stressful games: again stardew valley because i would play with friends and it was like oh god i need to leave. i do not know what to do, i am useless, i am understimulated

+ red dead online is not a good game to play without substantial backup . so glad i had horse insurance because if i hadn't my only friend in that world would be dead. that said, i did like to hunt in that game + play the fps levels with groups

games you always come back to: new vegas but maybe she'll release me someday. idk. also unfortunately i didn't include it earlier but i keep going back to the sims 4 and baldur's gate 3. and fromsoft titles because i sometimes just crave that combat.

guilty pleasure: new vegas again!!! i guess i kind of talked about my extremely complicated feelings when i first spoke about it, but yeah. there's just so much to unpack and i'm never going to forgive it for a lot of things. the horrors and the joys are both numerous but the joys will never not be tainted by the horrors

tons of hours played: elden ring + bg3 + new vegas + mass effect. i don't have the hours of new vegas and mass effect available tho as they are confined to a now dead xbox 360

[windstir]

kurt is a fortnite guy i think, he'd like to play shooting games and roblox and stuff. your average gamer, probably broke something at some point.

nekka plays whatever kurt plays if it's multiplayer, they have an intricate minecraft world where both of them do things and shit. HOWEVER i think he'd be a weeb tho so he's also a genshin player i'm afraid ... he plays project sekai /AND/ bandori and maybe d4dj/djd4 i don't remember how to spell that name

carl doesn't do videogames, maybe classics like the first mario bros and pacman? i don't know he probably wasn't allowed to watch spongebob either.

pascal is def onto some weird visual novel, i am not well-versed on that subject so i cant say much ... i think he'd also like a few RPGs!

serge, as i've said, isn't a big videogames guy. he likes rhythm games and maybe simple games like minecraft and stardew valley. he'd be more of a mobile game guy, yk the ones where you can just log in daily, do tasks on a farm and then log out until next day? something like that works for him, 100%. also he'd like the papa's games because they're like clocking into a 9-5 and they make him feel accomplished.

jack is also a fortnite and shooting game guy, he plays minecraft and tries to do speedruns ... and fails, ofc.

liliath isn't too into videogames either ... maybe dressing games and simple farming games like ACNH but that's it probably? it'd be funny if he liked shooting games tho, he needs to get his anger out somehow ...

gilbert doesn't play games UNTIL he's out of auguste's grasp, once he's out he actually has access to a phone and stuff. what does he play? this game. only this game.

he probably doesn't have much interest in most games until later on, but for now he's enjoying cats & soup. a lot.

also i think he'd like these too:

very simple games with repetitive motions and enjoyable, calming visuals.

[doctorobrt]

haii !! could u do maybe william n reader(maybe gn reader ?:3) have a sleepover even tho theyre adults ? like they do silly sleepover activities like building a fort, watching movies, face masks, etc :3

Hey! I can absolutely do that for you lovely, I might add my own kind of twist onto it if that's alright with you! I'll keep both Will and the reader at around 20 years old, it's kind of that age where you still enjoy silly things meant for teenagers but also get embarrassed by them so you prefer to call sleepovers 'hangouts'..

This is quite long I believe, so sorry in advance.

College Student William Afton x College Student GN Reader

Being an adult had its perks, going to concerts or buying a house - if you really felt the need. There wasn't a huge amount of things to do compared to that of being a teenager, and to be frank, life just seemed all a bit more serious now.

Given the bigger responsibilities and need to pay for yourself, the joy seemed to be sucked from all of the things you used to find amusing as a careless teenager. College wasn't dreadful though, you got to see your friends and spend time away from the house and your parents. The subject you chose however... if there was one thing that could bore you into a coma, it would be maths.

The day had dragged and Mr. Wilson seemed more stringent than ever. He had requested the floors be redone in his classroom after the incident earlier in the year which left him toppled over, face first on the floor. Since that day, he had taken strict action by adding heaps of oil to the hinges of the door and making sure he arrived an hour earlier in mind of rush hour traffic.

This had clearly taken a toll on him as he lay slouched in his drab leather chair, snoring sonorously whilst armies of heavy raindrops tapped against the windows.

After a long, long wait for the clock to hit 4pm, you bundled all of the pens and paper from the desk into your bag before making an anticipated beeline for the college doors. It was short lived relief however, as the bus wasn't in it's normal parking spot. Due to the weather, and state of the poor old vehicle, it was going to take another 25 minutes for it to fight through the dismal downpour.

Home was too far of a walk in this weather and the thought of calling your parents home from work to pick you up was just as threatening.

The world seemed unnaturally dark, as if the light had been drained from the sky replaced by dark, gloomy clouds massing above your head. Rain tumbled down a great deal heavier than earlier, the small bus shelter was beginning to feel over crowded and the pungent smell of sweat had become rather noxious to inhale.

Huffing audibly to yourself and accepting the nauseating fate, you stood in the cramped bus shelter and tolerated it. That was until an obnoxiously loud blare of a car horn and beckoned you over. It was William, he had stayed on longer to discuss a project he'd been working on with the technicians teacher. What a little life saver!

Rapidly checking both sides of the road, you bolted over to his cherry red Ford Consul Capri, very classy if you do say so yourself, and slammed the door shut before the pelting rain could ruin the polished leather seats.

"Bloody hell you are a god send mate" You panted whilst wiping strands of soggy hair from your forehead.

"I wasn't beeping for you to come over love." He responded as his brows furrowed at your presence.

Oh. No. How utterly embarrassing. Your jaw hung open in disbelief as rose pigment stung your cheeks.

"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry, I'll wait for the bus." You stammered in humiliation. His gaze was scrutinising, you couldn't bare to return the eye contact.

"Nah I'm pulling your leg mate." He goaded whilst grinning mischievously, "The look on your face though, class."

"Knobhead"

"Right. If you're free we can head back to mine, Mum and Dad went to Switzerland yesterday so the house is completely empty."

"Alright ace, I'll come and keep you from being lonely you little man child." You teased back, "Joking! Joking. Please don't leave me out in the rain like a little sodden mouse."

He sighed and rolled his eyes before starting up the pristine car to head back home.

William lived in a posh area of the village, although his house wasn't overly showy or obnoxious like the others. His parents were owners of a large mechanics dealership in London so he was loaded, but he wouldn't gloat his wealth.

A few more turns, after a very much appreciated twenty minute drive, and you pulled up on a gravel driveway. The pair of you grabbed your bags and sprinted to the front door as the rain picked up and cracks of thunder boomed in the gloomy horizon.

"Hurry up and open that door!" You shrieked just as the crooked gutter snapped and drenched you head to toe in grimy rain water - Not Will though, he hogged the porch.

As soon as the heavy wooden door swung open, you lunged into the front room. It'd be the respectful deed to compliment the house, albeit overridden by organised clutter, but the sludge dripping into your eye was truly the top of your concerns.

"Don't laugh, I can literally see you snickering."

William was wide eyed and speechless, the urge to laugh was becoming overwhelming at this point. He signalled to the room at the bottom of the lengthy hallway and welcomed you to use the bath, the offer was too good to resist, so you grabbed your dripping wet bag and shivered all the way down the corridor, slamming the door shut and immediately twisting the hot tap onto full power.

"I've got some tea here waiting," William announced faintly, "Oh, and I got scrabble out too if you want to play?"

"Alright then, I'll hop out when I finish washing my hair."

"I left some of my old pyjamas outside for you too." He replied hesitantly, "I'll be in the lounge."

Climbing out of the lukewarm water, you grabbed a towel from the radiator and patted yourself down. The door creaked open slightly as you turned the handle, allowing space for your hand to slip through and take the white button down pjs from the mat outside.

"I'll be over now," You called down the hall, "Give me a second!"

You snatched a pair of navy slippers from the shoe rack and made your way into the dimly lit living room.

"Cor it's nice and warm in here."

"Your tea's going cold mind." He nodded to the sofa opposite of him, "Sit on that one over there if we're playing scrabble."

Perching on the edge of the leather settee, you picked out seven tiles from the green drawstring pouch and set them onto the wooden stand.

"Are you kidding me?" William leant back in his chair and scoffed, "Right, you first."

Squinting at the seven letters before you, you reorganised them into many different sequences. D, I, Z, O, I, X, E. Doze... no, Doe.. too short, iodize..? Suddenly, you visualised a word which used all of the tiles and scrambled them into place.

"Oh mate get ready for this." You slid the stand onto the board with a smirk spread across your face. Slowly, you arranged the word 'Oxidize' onto the beginning squares. "Twenty one, twenty two... only twenty four points for that, but add on the fifty for the seven letters and that takes it up to... 74!"

"You cheater you have a dictionary." He accused in envy of the high score whilst jotting it down on a scrap of paper.

"Do not! Your turn now, lets see your scrabble skill."

Rolling his eyes and picking up a single tile from the stand in front of him, he placed a measly O beneath the D.

"Oh dear..." You chuckled into your fist, "Vowels?"

He shot you a cruel glare and confirmed your query with a quick nod. The game continued on for half an hour until the competitive nature became increasingly tiring, especially since William kept placing an S after all of your words, so you got up and clambered into the space beside him.

"We haven't eaten yet."

"I think there's a pot of beef stew in the fridge." He answered defeatedly, "Or we can listen to my dad's vinyl instead?"

Food sounded perfect, but knowing William's family he probably owned some of the latest LPs released by the biggest artists around right now.

"Alright then you lazy cow, how about we listen to some vinyl then?" You returned a grin and made your way over to the fancy box of LPs adjacent to the shiny, high tech record player.

The selection inside was truly magnificent, The Supremes album 'Meet The Supremes', The Rolling Stones debut record, 'Surfin' USA' from the Beach Boys followed by a dozen Chuck Berry sleeves. This was like a dream come true.

After a brief while of overthinking your choice, you picked out The Beatles' latest album 'A Hard Day's Night' and carefully placed it atop the platter, mindful of its mint condition, and flicked the plug socket on. Soon enough the record began spinning around, so, you picked up the needle and gently positioned it onto the lead in groove.

It crackled faintly before crashing into the first song, the fast paced melody was joyfully upbeat - perfect for dancing. You smiled to yourself, overjoyed with emotions, before turning your attention back to William. He watched on fondly as you tapped your foot to the tune, occasionally out of time but nonetheless you were enjoying yourself.

"Come on then!" You desperately encouraged him to join in, tugging the sleeve of his shirt.

He latched his hands into the warm hold of yours and moved them hastily up and down, over and over in an attempt of dancing until the song faded out. As the next began to play, a dreadful clatter reverberated around the room.

"Oh dear, it's never done that before." Tilting his head at the needle, he took a cloth from the side table to clean the end of the cartridge. Carefully placing it onto the following track, he rose onto his feet and stepped backwards. The soft crackle returned and a delicate symphony of voices and instruments chimed from the speakers.

'If I fell in love with you Would you promise to be true'

"Suiting song." You jested and prodded his chest with a finger.

Chuckling at your playful gesture, he took a hold of your hands once more - this time, however, he moved them rather languidly. The storm outside worsened and the crashing bolts of lightning echoed through the town formidably. Swaying in each others arms, the soothing rhythm lulled the both of you into a state of bliss.

'And I found that love was more, than just holding hands.'

He rose his arm above your head, motioning you to twirl around whilst humming along to the song. Melting back into his frame, you followed his steps and chortled as he tripped over the carpet. The both of you smiled at one another as the chorus of instruments soothed to an end.

'When she learns we are two If I fell in love with you...'

~

A/N - Oh my gosh... This took way too long. It definitely isn't my favourite fic ever but I always put a lot of effort into researching the year I write about so it doubled the time it should've taken by like a million years ugh. If you didn't know, I tried to set it in late July 1964 hence A Hard Day's Night being the latest record Will has - He's totally a Rolling Stones over The Beatles kind of guy though. I hope you enjoyed this xxx oh and thank you for being so patient holy moly

[pomefioredove]

Hi, congrats on the 500 followers!

Thank you for the event - this is my first time joining such a thing so I apologize in advance for how long this is (if you wish to ignore this - that's fine, I understand, thank you for the chance to participate)

I.. don't really know how to describe my personality anymore but I will try to from both my perspective of myself as well as what I've learned from others' impressions of me (tbh to try and sum it up - I'm an ISFJ personality type, if that helps any)

I'm pretty quiet and reserved. I prefer to be by myself/avoid people mostly due to not being very sociable or not having the energy to engage with others (heavily introverted here lmao). Others have said I seem hard to approach and/or intimidating (which is super funny considering I'm not even 5 ft tall - I am super short so idk how I could be intimidating. Maybe it's the rbf 😂).

Because of this, I'm pretty awkward in social situations though I don't mean to be. I'd like to be a part of things too and have fun but because I never really learned how to/wasn't really socialized enough, I just don't seem to vibe with most. I understand I'm generally pretty different both in terms of looks and personality/mindset too (apparently I stick out like a sore thumb) but it's still discouraging and lonely.

I think people don't really know what to make of me and while they may be polite, it's only because I try to be approachable and friendly to show I'm not someone who should be avoided. Ofc that doesn't always work and if people don't vibe with me there's nothing I can do about it. I'm unfortunately really used to being misunderstood and being projected onto despite the lack of proof of the assumptions people make of me because of this.

I won't go into details (tho I feel like it might be important to mention to give some context) but I experienced a lot of neglect, emotional abuse, and interpersonal relationship trauma while growing up so it has really affected my ability to trust others. I am very wary and guarded so my walls don't come down easily. It'll take a lot of time to get to know me, especially the things that bring me joy. Most people have never seen me be my true authentic self or learned what my favorite things are because it was just too much work to get thru to finally get there (which I understand and don't deny and for the longest time have been trying to work on these issues of mine).

Anyway, for what it's worth - I'm known for being hard working, reliable, and honest. I'm unfortunately a perfectionist and have imposter syndrome too which also means I'm ridiculously humble. It's been brought to my attention that it's much to my detriment lmao (I've also been trying to work on that too)

Though I'm very distant and reserved to most, the very few people I've ever had in my life who were close to me have seen my more playful and affectionate side and that's only because I trusted them and felt safe with showing them this side of me. But again, that's only possible if I've developed a really close bond with someone

My interests include anime/manga, video games, reading/writing, art, nature, and food, to name some. I'm also (embarassingly enough) a hopeless romantic at heart and prefer to collaborate with others instead of compete unless it's friendly and no hard feelings are involved.

Please let me know if I've left anything out accidentally and I also apologize again for the length!

Thank you again for the event, I can't wait to read the matchups you've done for everyone who participated! Please have a great day/night!

I match you with 𝐌𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐮𝐬 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐚

I was really close to giving you trey but malmal won again

The First Impression:

Malleus isn't exactly a social butterfly, but he's heard your name once or twice. The other students speak of you as if you're some intimidating, unapproachable thing... which may or may not intrigue him, just a little.

...Of course, when he actually sees you, he's thoroughly unimpressed. This is the person everyone avoids? Why? You're like one of the cute woodland creatures that follows Silver around.

You're not even a powerful mage or feared warrior! You're just standing there awkwardly!

Why He Fell:

It's almost a "last two kids without a partner being forced to work together on the group project" situation. Being constantly left out and avoided has very few positives, but getting to spend time with Malleus is one of them.

There's no real pressure to be social or overly-friendly around him, he's truly just happy to have someone to sulk in the shadows with, though as time goes on and you become more comfortable around one another, conversation will start to blossom.

Hearing him go on and on about his special interests like a little nerd, you might share a similar sentiment: "this is the guy everyone's terrified of?"

There's something quite tender and gentle about two loners finding company within each other, and as your walls come down, you find yourself sharing your vulnerable self with him. Your fun, affectionate side, which Malleus cherishes and protects like a gift given especially to him.

The Relationship:

It's safe. Not boring, mind you, safe. You treat each other gently, which so starkly contrasts how others have treated you in the past, and there's something quite special about that.

Malleus is able to share sides of himself with you he hasn't with anyone else. He treasures your reliability and honesty, and sees you as a safe space in his life, as much as he hopes you see him. It's a very cozy relationship, full of comfortable silences and an unspoken trust shared just between the two of you. Despite his status, the relationship feels very private, if only because you only share these sides of yourself with each other.

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

I watched the The Rookie Season 6 premiere!!

I started it last night and finished it this morning and just OAUGH it was so good :D

I expected them to not figure it out for a while but I low-key love the way they did it. Because it shows that they (the characters) aren't dumb and gives some action but still keeps a huge mystery to it. Theory wise, I keep thinking of the Dream (nightmare) Team (Elijah and Oscar) but it's been like a half season so I don't think it's time to bring them back yet. Idk tho, we'll see what happens!

Also Lucy is going through it xD like genuinely she is and :(( but everyone (even Wesley xD) knowing about the clown thing was just HILARIOUS lol

Also after Tim said "maybe she just had a fight with her girlfriend" I was like "oh cool we're casually using a gay example- he's talking about him" soo as I said at the time, diversity win! The random person you're projecting your problems onto is a lesbian through you <3.

Anyway xD lowkey, I get both their sides, but I'm lowkey on Tim's lol. I do get being stressed out and just wanting support though, totally, I just think Lucy's going to realize she needs to talk it out with him

Also I'm glad for their development! I'm also kind of glad Tim's not the "instigator" (there's not really one but yk) of the fight since he's been the "mean one" a lot lol. Anyway I hope my babeys work it out (soon - I figure they will eventually) :((

Also this makes it seem like I love chenford and barely about wopez and I do love them but HUGAOAPGHY BABEYS I GOT THEM BACK <3333

Not much but I did :'D

Talking about wopez by the way lol

Also HALLELUJAH AARON SURVIVED!! HE'S OKAY :'DDD!! P H E W :'D 🥳🥳🥳🎉🎊😌🥰.

Thank goodness lol

Also :(( that he wants to help catch the guys that almost killed him but can't - probably for the best though :/. Just don't let it get pent up in any way xd. Also please don't date your therapist or have any kinda funky relationship with her lol.

Also aaahhhhHHH Bailey and Nolan (John just wasn't right) are getting married :D. I'm glad everything ended up working out (for now lol, that promo is scaring me xD I figure it'll be fine but just once I want an uninterrupted wedding, in anything, but especially The Rookie lol) <333. They're adorable 🥰. Also am I crazy or was that Mr. Kevin Kozner as the neighbor guy? At first I thought it was then wasn't then wasn't sure so I figure not but I don't know xD

Also poor Harper :(( I know she'll get through it but it just sucks. And it sucks that she can't talk to James about it (like not legally but emotionally lol), though I do like that they have differing opinions on stuff. It's nice to have couples that don't have all the same views, you know?

Anyway!! I didn't mention them but Celina and Gray are slaying as always <3. And for Celina (and everyone)'s sake I hope we catch this guys soon (but not too soon ;) - I love me some drama)

Also reminder that I love Wesley with my whole soul, thank you <3.

So excited for this season!! Especially the 100th episode, it's so great that they get one :D. I think both of those are gonna be really good and I'm just so looking forward to it :D!! This was an amazing episode, lots of good stuff all around, and I'm so excited for the next one :D. The promo looks wild (also AAAHHHHHH THE WEDDING!!! :DD) but so good and I'm looking forward to it :D 🥰.

This is gonna be a great season :))!!

See y'all later!! ❤️🥰

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

Thinking about people who go "oh heavys the most normal guy on the team" and yeah 1. None of them are normal and 2. If I had to say one it'd be scout. Like he can be silly and I do like him well enough but. He isn't even milquetoast he is milk and toast bro is bland compared to everyone else. He isn't even poorly written in that way just everyone sees a twinky white dude with the opportunity to project daddy issues onto and just go nuts and shove every other character out of the way. Like heavy is so interesting and maybe I'm biased cuz of the Things I'd do to him if I ever got the chance but he deserves to get more of a spotlight put onto him outside of him with medic. I am a massive heavymedic shipper but christ guys he can date or fuck (or both) other people!! We can talk about him just on his own!!! We can have heavymedic fics that are based around heavy!!!! Sorry I have so many thoughts on this guy and never get to see people talk about him </3

I've said this before, but I don't think any tf2 character can really be accurately classed as "the normal one", which is the appeal of these sorts of characters to me at least. I definitely agree on the front that Heavy is really overlooked tho; in my experience he's so often slotted into the supremely boring "team mom" or "braincell of the group" archetype, which is typically fandom's way of getting out of giving women a personality, but I see it applied to some men too (usually men who are in some way real-world marginalized, like Demo is ALWAYS the "braincell of the group" bc I guess white people feel uncomfortable making him be funny). I'm usually focused less on how Heavy is "interesting" and more on how Heavy is actually really funny, even outside of being a straightman for Medic (which he is also very good at). His gun sleeps in a smaller bed next to his bed and all you people can post about him is that he's "Scout's wholesome gay dad" and "gives such good hugs". TIRED!!! EXHAUSTED!!! Come up with something new! Make jokes about that literature degree!

[unluckyservice4]

hi hellooo in your intro it says this is based ln an au and i waz wondering if you could maybe explain the au... so sorry to bother but im justnot too sure where to check for myself and i thought maybe asking would be the next best opption,,

((HOO BOY I GET TO DO THIS AGAIN OKAY-so. This is based on a specific timeline of a giant ass novel that I'm writing. (it's an alt timeline tho so not TOO many spoilers lol) Long story short, Chiaki was encouraged to make friends by Chiza (as is canon) and because she was Projecting she decided to focus heavily onto Nagito. That means when she starts friending Hajime the three of them hang out instead of just the two (there was still a Eugenics arc but Nagito's gay overcame it quick) Chiki got the warm fuzzies for both boys but I guess because she knew Nagito longer she went for him instead of Hajime. The timeline is wonky, but eventually after months of dating the two are like 'actually polyamory is great' and were juuuuuuuuuust about to ask Hajime to join their polycule before all of the latter half of DR3 happened. Meaning Nagito lost both the loves of his life (and a baby he didn't know about at the time) and that fucked him up in a particularly specific way.

Basically he wasn't as into the whole Despair thing as he is in canon (too busy mourning like he is FUCKED up) so when he stumbles on Towa (real REAL early I'm talking like at least a couple years before shit went down) Junko, who was raising the Warriors at the time in some nondescript location, took one look at him and went 'you are so fucking pathetic here have a new assignment' and that's how Nagito became the babysitter slash secondary parental figure to the warriors of hope before they became the warriors of hope. This is set specifically in that timeline where junko is still alive, living with him, (but leaving for long periods of time for managorial despair reasons) and he's raising five very traumatized eight to nine year olds. He's got a line he doesn't cross. He won't hurt kids. (multiple reasons for that but the baby might be a big one)

As to Chiaki's side of things she lived. Lost the baby. Lost her memories and wandered the wasteland for a good fuckin' while (like pre-Nagito-ending-up-in-Towa deal) before shinanigans happened on this blog and now they're all together.

Kamukura's got his own bs I never know what's going on with that guy I just write him.))

[ghostcatssecretblog]

I'm gonna say this and I know people aren't going to agree and that's okay

But I really don't like Mikasa's character. I think she had the potential to be really cool af, but the execution fell flat. I know she's written a little bit better in the Manga (still need to finish it) but here's why I don't like her and how I think it could have been changed.

I understand why she's so attached to Eren, but it's almost obsessive, and the way she treats him feels patronizing. She wants to look out for him because she loves him, but it's in a selfish way.

Examples: as a kid injuring him and then asking him if he still wants to join the Scouts, FORCING him to eat, carrying him away from fights, telling him to stop talking (tho indirectly) when talking about his more negative feelings (shown in s1 and s3).

My biggest pet peeve is the scene where he figures out the ODM gear and Mikasa is like "he's happy he doesn't have to leave me" which is NOT AT All what he was thinking but sure girl project your bs onto him

^ seriously none of that was okay. And yeah Eren had moments where he's rude to her or has hit her bc he didn't reciprocate her feelings. He was treating her like he'd treat anyone else.

Worse of all we never see get any real development. (Least not in the anime. Maybe the Manga does it better) she's still over protective to the point it's almost patronizing and outside of protecting him, she has zero ambitions for herself. You can't even say she let him go when she killed him bc even then she didn't move on!

Now what I would have liked to have seen- and I've seen some fan-work creators take this direction- is for them to have more of a sibling relationship.

Imagine this. Everything still happens mostly the same but her motivations are different. It's a found family/sibling sort of love. She wants to protect him bc he's like a little brother to her.

Because Carla begged her to look after him (which is canon)

And so her motivation for protecting him had been to bc of this. Bc Carla begged her, too. Because Eren is the only family she has left.

(And maybe dialing back some of her obsessive tendencies)

And had both gotten growth? Her learning she doesn't have to always look out for him. That he can take care of himself, and him understanding that she was only doing it bc they're the only family they have left and him accepting her as such?

There's also my personal issue that I don't see any build up or reciprocation on Eren's some until the very end so as you can guess I don't ship Eremika. Any defense you could have like him being protective of her or holding her hand he also does for Armin and Historia.

But people act like him not loving her back makes him a bad person or that he treated her bad for not feeling the same? Just because someone loves you doesn't mean you have to feel the same, no matter what they do for you. And I'm saying that as someone who's been on the other end of that! Also personally if someone treated me the way Mikasa treated Eren I'd personally consider her a bad friend. If I can't talk to you about my morbid and depressed thoughts why are we even friends?

Also, I'm not expecting anyone to agree. If you wanna have a calm conversation about it, I'm absolutely down, but don't come in my chats yelling.

[many-gay-magpies]

5, 8, 19 for the dbd ask game! xoxo

aaaa thank you so much for asking!! most of this has been put under a cut because apparently i had a lot to say hdhfjfbfb

5. Which character do you relate to the most?

i think out of the main cast, i relate most to niko, but i also relate somewhat to kashi—and i mean, the night nurse said they were alike, so that makes a kind of sense XD.

niko reminds me specifically of a version of myself i USED to be, or like, one that's lying dormant. she's awkward and reclusive and extremely literal with her language, and once someone takes her out of her box she's super friendly, but she doesn't know how to get HERSELF out of the box, so she needs a friend who openly and unashamedly enjoys her presence and invites her along to things (like edwin!). i'm getting better with socializing, but that definitely reminds me of MYSELF with the whole social vampire thing of, like, i wont interact with you in depth unless you invite me first. she also has a lot of knowledge about random and frequently creepy things (see "long pig"), which i relate to on a spiritual level, AND she has an incredibly bright and exuberant fashion sense, which i feel is the case for me as well. ALSO!! aro niko is basically canon as far as im concerned, and idk if thats because its actually viable; because i, an aro, projected onto her way too hard; or both of those things. honestly, it's kind of a surprise i'm not more obsessed with her, but maybe this is exactly WHY i'm not. her character's already familiar to me because i grew up with her in my head.

as for kashi, it's more like. specifically his view of his life and past experiences? like, the way he goes "really im not sure i HAVE any trauma" and night nurse goes "YOU WERE SWALLOWED BY A GIGANTIC FISH" and he smiles all wistful and goes "ah, one of life's many adventures!". even when i have bad experiences don't necessarily enjoy them in the moment, there's a part of my brain that's like. yes!! negative emotion!! so refreshing and fun!! this is evidence that we are human!! this is a symptom of life!! yes!! how joyous!! like i was a fucking alien in a past life or something and the little alien remains of my soul are so utterly fascinated by every aspect of human existence, whether its grim and painful or fun and full of love. so. me and kashi 🤝🤝🤝

8. A headcanon you have (that you havent seen talked about yet)!

idk if this counts as me not seeing it be talked about yet because the whole thing that SPURNED this headcanon was seeing someone offhandedly mention that crystal would probably be good at drawing due to having rich artist parents, but i imagine crystal being kind of an artist herself (and in fact ive written 2k words of fic about it! its on the backburner at the moment tho). her fashion sense is very reminiscent of the way an art kid would dress (see: ME), and it just feels like it makes SENSE given her parents' profession and how she might have been raised, growing up around art. i also feel like little kid crystal, seeing how much attention her parents gave to the OTHER artists in their installations, might have tried to gain their attention for herself by getting really good at art, before she realized the problem wasn't anything she was or wasn't doing; it was just her (or, more accurately, it was the fact that her parents were neglectful pieces of shit who probably never should have had a child).

19. Favourite actor from the show?

i don't really get into the actors of shows on a personal level, although i do love watching behind the scenes and interviews of them just goofing off and having a good time, so for this question—i don't really know? george rexstrew seems like a very nice and down-to-earth person, and jayden just seems cool and fun(ny), but they're all pretty much just guys (gender neutral) to me.

if we're talking acting... man idk, they're all so good. this being george's first onscreen role out of theater school is fucking amazing, he absolutely killed it, and the sheer DEDICATION is awe-inspiring (i think i read that he actually took ballet classes to help him walk and move like edwin?). all jayden's micro-expressions and actingchoices as charles blow me out of the fucking water, and kassius made crystal feel so real and genuine, and... yeah, i could go on XD.

[chevvy-yates]

Why I'm so … away lately:

Spending my freet time with my Info PDFs on Vijay and Ryder.

This project is somewhat insane and ate already a lot of free time (doing all the casual outfit shots alone). I know I do not need to present it in this way, but as the graphic designer who I am, I enjoy doing this way too much! I just love to create layouts and in this way I also make use of my own VP pics as well in a secondary usage. It is something I cannot life out in my daily job. I've always wanted to create some sort of a guideline. And my ocs are just perfect for that. I wanna do Thyjs and Jaysen as well ofc but I won't start with them for a while. Ry and V need to be done first, then I 'll look into other priorities (e.g. roleplay story -> + turn it into fanfic, get more creative in VP, help some modders maybe) for a while and then I go back to getting this done for Thyjs and Jaysen as well. <3

So what about these documents?

of all they provide some huge help for me to have the best overview possible on their main mods and clothes I use for them. Once this is done, I can just open the PDFs and click onto the links that bring me to the mod page of a specific mod. I've been asked a few times what I used so this will help me find it within no time. Searching on nexus is sometimes a whole pain for me when you do not know the title of the mods. And I don't want to keep everything in "tracked mods" either except for the core mods such as CET, archive XL etc. needed for the game.

it hopefully does a good service to the lovely @gloryride who's going to turn both, Vijay and Ryder, into NPVs soon <3 I want her to have it as easy as I can make it (hopefully it works how I imagined it). So she's got everything neately sorted to look up in lists — especially for the outfits I want to include — even though I'm going to send over all the needed stuff. But if there's need to look it up you can just simply klick on the link that brings you to the nexus page that has the usual additional info, original mods (since my are renamed with prefixes) and who it belongs to.

it also will serve for everyone who wants to take pics of my boys in the future. Because I do love to share them and I wanna see how they look through other VPer's eyes! Therefore I added a short backstory, character dates and inspiration, likes and dislikes so you can imagine them better plus every up to this date outfit I've got for them so far. A bunch of outfits will be included to their NPVs but not all since both have already something between 15-20 outfits and some mods require permission for NPV (it takes ags for me to ask permission). I assume people love more to take pics with NPV rather than having to install all their mods (tho Ry's and V's are okayish; Thyjs on the contrary has like approx. 50 main mods alone lol) but I'll still provide both once I'm done. Dunno how often I'll update these docs since there will always be new outfits for them.

If you read all through to the bottom: please feel free to send me a dm or write me on discord if you think about wanting to VP my boys some day! <3 Once I'm done and NPVs are there I'm more than happy to share.

Once this massive main project of mine is done for the time being, I may reach out to some of you in the future asking if I can VP your ocs as well and I'm always happy to see my ocs making new friends too! I'm just very bad at doing all at once, so I never came around asking – I need to finish one thing first, before I can take on antoher or I'll get completely lost, :,D I've already got a list of stuff I have to/wanna do. So everything I've promised some time back will be still done at some point!

Thanks for reading <3

[jorrated]

Now I'm curious, what's your interpretation of Yume Nikki? /gen

OOHH!!!! Putting my extensive and extremely personal thoughts under a cut, cause it's going to be a long one

(like. fr. it's around 3.8k words long. click read more at your own risk.. plus spoiler warning + suicide discussion + mental health in general + some real artsy fartsy stuff)

1. DREAM ANALYSIS BULLSHIT THEORY

Just a little pre-ramble before my actual interpretation of the game, I wanna talk a little bit about dreams! I said on a previous post that it's almost impossible to decipher dreams from an outsider perspective, as not only people have their own symbology but dreams sometimes don’t even mean anything. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t instrumentalize dreams as something useful.

(Honestly you don’t have to read this part, I just wanted to rant about my views on psychoanalysis, since its a pseudoscience n all but I think its neat! Feel free to skip tho, I wont blame you. And whenever you see a block of text like this, bold and italics between parentheses, it’s just going to be a comment on mine and some opinions I have. It’s usually something that isn’t that related my interpretation of the game, but I felt like talking about it. So feel free to skip these too! :>)

Psychoanalysis is pseudoscience and Freud was a stupid bitch, HOWEVER, we can make something useful out of it! For example, projection. Projection is, in a simplified way, when you project your self onto others. And that situation, regardless if it is an actual projection of your own self, can help you to realize some aspects of yourself. Again, regardless if you are ACTUALLY projecting yourself, if that person has the same characteristics as you, or if you have the characteristic you think you are projecting, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you can analyze that situation, and yourself by proxy. And if you abstract things enough we can realize that projection is just another way of saying “we can only understand the world from our point of view”, which means we think everyone goes through life with the same perspective we have, because that’s the only one we can have. I can’t access other’s point of view in pureness, as I will forever have my own personal experiences back seating, so yes, I will forever project my point of view onto others, because that’s my own and only way of viewing stuff.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t see those “projection moments” and analyze why I do those projections. For example I can dislike someone for being annoying and be like “Wait, hold on. Am I annoying? Is this me projecting or just common sense”. And regardless if it is actual projecting, I can think about my negative feelings. Maybe I just want someone who’s worse than me, maybe this is a weird way of self hatred, maybe I just don’t want to deal with the fact I’m annoying. All of those can be true or false, but the thinking process can lead me to analyze myself and become someone better.

And this is something I extend to dream analysis, as it very much doesn’t have a proven reality or a method, but it’s something we can use to understand someone’s point of view! If done right, of course. So it doesn't matter if dreams have obscured "true real" meanings to them or not, what matter is what we are able to gleam from it and try to understand the dreamer’s point of view.

I'm going to try to do a dream analysis, which will take both Freudian and Jungian analysis beats, as I do believe neither theory has a perfect method, but they are the most prominent theories that I'm familiar with. While Freud takes every dream as a glimpse of the subconscious, which shows repressed desires and impulses, Jung only considers dreams that resonates with the person to be relevant. In my opinion, no dream has an actual meaning, but we can abstract it into something useful, so even small details can reveal something about someone, even if that something is so small that some may consider it irrelevant. And I also don’t consider dreams to work as a “pathway” to the subconscious, as dreams are not limited to desirable actions/events only, given that nightmares exist and all.

And PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD don’t take anything I say about psychoanalysis or Jung or dream analysis as like the actual theories. I’m a psychology student and we do study Freud’s theories (haven’t gotten to Jung yet), but I’m still going through my classes and it’s very easy to just fumble the theories since they’re written in the most confusing way possible. SO don’t quote me on any of this, this is all for fun!

2. MY ACTUAL INTERPRETATION

FINALLY, here’s what I see in Yume Nikki! I tried to divide all my points by events, effects, places n all that stuff, just to keep myself organized, tho because a lot of it is just symbology interpretation, but lots of these overlap so it can get confusing. Plus I have MANY readings on the game, some of which don’t work perfectly together, since the game can get pretty “dense”, so I’ll try to write everything down in categories and by the end, attempt to put some of the bigger theories together in a more organized manner.

(LOL. I wrote this thinking I really could just write all my thoughts around Yume Nikki in one go, comical. I only really go into my interpretation of the effects here, and I think I’ll try to write more about my theories and interpretations, so just know this is incomplete)

2.1. EFFECTS

In my eyes, the effects were always “sections” of Madotsuki personality and self. Given she’s the only one in the game able to utilize them, but also she obtains them through interacting with others. Just like personality traits, we hardly ever just become what we are by existing, and we are molded through the experiences with have with others and the world around us.

Each trait can be noticeable or minor, but they are what forms the self, which may include how we view certain things, ourselves, others and concepts. That results into day to day impacts, like us acquiring certain hobbies, but it also can impact how we view difficult topics like death, relationship to others and so on.

Which I find interesting since when dropping the effects onto the nexus, they become these little egg thingies, an action that is necessary to finish the game. Being divorced from aspects of yourself for you to be able to take a leap out of balcony, gives me a lot of possible readings.

The least metaphorical one being Mado just leaving everything behind to commit suicide, in which the effects could be her negating what she considers flaws. Even if they aren’t strictly flaws, for someone to take their own life they need to be in such a horrible mental state that could skew their self-perspective to be strictly negative. And “leaving” those aspects behind to be “free” of them is, unfortunately, the logic that some people dealing with suicidal thoughts go through.

However, putting the effects into the nexus, could also mean the complete opposite. By making them concrete and physical, onto the nexus, the link between her dreams (subconscious) and her dream room (preconscious – located on the subconscious, but allows and negates the passage of information to consciousness) could mean acceptance of those aspects. Looking and manifesting the effects could be a metaphor for coming to terms with herself, even if some aspects could be seem as flaws by Mado’s eyes. This could have the same conclusion like the previous hypothesis, resulting in a suicide, but because she accepted she had “too many flaws”, also another sad reality. But if taken into the account that the suicide isn’t a desire to die, but a leap of faith to a new life (killing your old self basically), this could be a better and positive ending. Fist step for a change is acceptance and all that jazz.

Another possibly is that the effects aren’t personality traits, but specific memories that impacted her in one way or another through her life. In that read you can go either way with the accepting or rejecting of those memories, as described before. But the context would have different tone I think, because in this way, the effects could symbolize traumatic events that lead Mado to be in this state of mind, events that she has to accept and move on, or deny what happened and live possibly haunted by it.

Either way! Here’s some of the effects I think are most relevant:

2.1.1 Knife

While a lot of people see this as Mado’s violent tendencies, I always saw it as a defense mechanism, like pushing others away (and maybe even hurting others, but not limited to only physical violence) to protect yourself. This goes with the themes of constant isolation and silence her dreams have. With the few times an entity actively interact with you, the Toriningen, is triggered by the stabbing.

How I see this is Mado’s pushing other’s away, to be kept from being hurt. And that is seen how, regardless if she uses the knife on a passive character, they disappear (effectively cutting any interaction with them) or an active character like the Toriningen (forcefully isolating Mado), it ends with Mado being alone. In connection with some NPC’s moving away from her when she holds a knife, and hostile Toriningens isolating her without triggering them, this might be a reaction of how others have reacted to this self-isolating behavior Mado has, and has had for a while probably.

It’s also notably found on the emptiest and darkest world on all the dream zones (Dark World), probably how Mado feels about this actions. While mostly alone and quite, the zone still has a few NPCs, most of them barely reacting to anything Madotsuki does, but one follows her around the world (I think his name is Follony), giving that lingering feeling that despite everything, it still feels like there’s someone trying to get in. Regardless if there really is someone trying to get in, Mado may have some type of paranoia with others interacting with them, perceiving their attempts as prodding or “chasing”.

2.1.2. Medamaude

Somewhat similar to the knife, I think this is also related to Mado’s isolation. While the knife is the action of pushing other away, the Medamaude is the avoidance of others and her own behaviors. Often used to escape the rooms Toriningen put you on, I think Mado may have the behavior of simply turning a blind eye to these situations (literally closing your eyes and fist to escape), as a form of either coping or self defense.

2.1.3. Cat

Here’s where the messiness I mentioned before. I think the cat is Mado’s desire to be able to talk to other and be able to interact with them. While it seems contradicting with what I just wrote about the knife and Medamaude, I do think despite Mado’s self isolation, she still desires someone to trust or be able to have friends. It’s paradoxical, but it’s a common feeling many have, specially teenagers. Having success into pushing others away can actually be extremely painful, as the person is not being hurt specifically by others, but also does not have a support net or healthy (and necessary) interactions to build off.

The cat being a symbol for that is quite fitting, being an animal who many consider the cutest, but also having an image of being “distant”. Many people (usually people who don’t have cats) see them as “less loving” than other pets, like dogs for example, because they don’t understand the different ways cats show affection.

Madotsuki may want to be like that, be perceived as approachable and cute, but still able to maintain a distance, without getting “suffocated” by the relationships. This theory can also be supported by the fact when meowing she resembles the Maneki-neko, a Japanese talisman that is associated with good fortune and wish fulfillment. While the original and most common variant is white, a pink Maneki-neko is often associated with love, romance and relationships in general, so once again, bringing that desire for human interaction.

One thing of note too, is that the cat effect is slightly annoying to get, as the kitty-coin you get it from moves quite quickly, in comparison to other NPCs. This may be indicative that, while desirable, Mado finds difficulty into manifesting this approachable appearance, probably due to the established self-isolation mentioned before.

2.1.4. Triangle Kerchief and Nopperabou

Not gonna do a big text for these, I’m sure you already got it and are tired of me writing about isolation. Could mean feeling invisible, not being seen or that people don’t care about you (or are even afraid). Disassociation and reality detachment can also be a thing here.

2.1.5. Frog, Dwarf, Poop Hair, Fat and Buyo-buyo

These could all be representations of how Madotsuki is afraid of been seen as, or already perceives herself as. Although self-explanatory, these are very common anxieties teenagers (and adults) have, that can be extremely distressing and impacting in their mental health, regardless if those traits are actually negative (like there’s nothing wrong with being fat, short or be a little person). But, because of social and cultural notions of beauty standards, people who deviate from them are often made fun of, with some extreme cases of bullying leading to suicide or intense harm.

And me, while not being Japanese or having any deep understanding of the culture, have the impression that the norms there, are way harsher than here on Brazil (or America in general). While, yes, the social pressure and even stigmatization to look a certain way is definitely a problem in all countries, but with some examples like young girls starving themselves a few days before their weighting in health check ups (because they happen in the school and everybody knows everybody’s numbers), lead me to imagine just how the huge damage that can have in someone’s psyche, specially in a young girl.

For the frog effect I imagine it’s in association of feeling ugly in general, or even having acne (as some species of frogs have bumpy skin). Again, very subjective and not even inherently bad, but in associations of stories like the “frog prince” and saying like “ugly as a toad”, there is a cultural stigma with not fitting in visually. And again again, can have an immense impact in one’s mental health, confidence and self esteem.

And for the Poop hair, I have two readings: one in relation of poor hygiene as consequence of debilitating mental health problems, and the anxiety of been seen as stupid. The second one is also pretty self explanatory, it’s not nice to feel like you’re unintelligent. Grading specifically comes to mind, as Japan infamously has a harsh discipline between students by publishing their grades for everyone to see, even low grades. It’s something that already is difficult to deal with, as it feels like a spotlight is put onto you, but also, even more so if someone is struggling with psychological issues, which will discourage them to study at something that they already might be struggling at.

The mental health aspect can also affect the personal hygiene of someone, as mentioned. Some depressive episodes can lead to people not leaving their beds for days, which can lead to unpleasant smells, and in extreme cases even have excretions happen in bed. It’s something that is extremely sensitive to talk about, because it’s a humiliating experience to anybody, but it is a facet of mental health that is often unexplored. While unpleasant, some people may not have the will to get up and clean themselves, while simultaneously being deeply ashamed. Independent if Madotsuki is at that stage, I think she has anxieties of being seen as unhygienic, perhaps even as a burden to her caretakers (another common fear of people in this situation). Some people think her room is the full apartment, but I always saw as just a room, as we don’t see a bathroom or somewhere to cook, and that might explain why it’s pretty clean and organized, despite Mado’s clear debilitating mental health, as her parents would take care of her.

(Unrelated because I’m going to make a silly comment right after such a sensitive topic, but it’s actually insane how some people completely ignore some themes cause they seem stupid or gross, like poop. I know we live in a society that goes “hee hee poop funny ha ha” like those deranged poopie unicorn kids toys, but it’s like. Really important to take things seriously if you want to talk about depression and mental health? I don’t know man, it bothers me how some people sometimes just woobify depression and simply fucking ignore some aspects cause they’re “gross”. Just really dehumanizing. Like people will have sympathy for people who cut, but treat those with such low energy they physically cannot go to the bathroom as freaks. Not that we shouldn’t have sympathy for those who self harm, that isn’t at all what I’m saying, but this condition IS ALSO A FORM OF SELF HARM CAUSED BY EXTREME DEPRESSION. Sigh.)

2.1.6. Long Hair and Blonde Hair

In contrast with the previous effects, these two could indicate what Madotsuki wants to look like, or be seen as. Long hair is considered very feminine through many cultures and also as beautiful, so maybe that’s the desire. Mado’s hair already seems long, due to the pigtails having that length, so maybe it’s something else, like letting her hair free from the braids. Another theory, that relates to the hygiene topic mentioned, it’s that it’s someone common to tie hair up when it’s dirty, but a bun or a ponytail could be uncomfortable to sleep in, while the pigtails would suit much better.

The blonde hair however, many people associate with beauty, and sure it can be beautiful, but in Japan it’s quite uncommon. Once again, dunno much about Japanese culture, but there’s a few examples of people with blonde hair going to Japan and being stared at, mostly cause it’s uncommon, and maybe associated with Gyaru fashion, which can be seen as garish. It’s something that may have been changing currently, with international media and even Japanese celebrities dyeing their hair, but it still seems there’s a social stigma around it. So I’m not really sure how to interpret it. One reading could be that Mado would like to change her appearance, y’know? Just have a big change, I don’t know. This one (and the last 2 effects) kinda leave me stumped a bit.

2.1.7. Lamp and Stoplight

Beside the knife and the Bike, I think these two are the most iconic effects in the game! But beside that I think they can hold a lot of interpretations, from the most surface stuff to some abstract philosophy bullshit.

Starting with the lamp, I think it can either be just that, a lamp with dream logic. But also, I have a few other readings about it. One of them being Madotsuki’s desire to be able to clearly see things, as in being able to understand her struggles and how the world works. Specifically on teenhood, people start to develop a lot of the questionings about how things work, which often is confused with just having and attitude or being rebellious. Being curious about the world and it’s functioning is normal, and it is also extremely common with mentally ill children, because they struggle to understand their negative feelings and wish to “solve” them. By having a lamp as the head, it could mean Madotsuki is trying to be “rational” about her issues, trying to see things fully without any shadows obscuring her perception. If it’s effective is another can of worms, but it’s comforting to a light (explanation) for an issue.

Another theory of the lamp that I have, is that it could possible symbolize how Mado feels about having mental issues, as if it something that everyone can notice, bright and noticeable. Not only an anxiety of being visibility mentally ill a very common anxiety people who are mentally ill worry about, but the heat of the lamp can also bring a new meaning to “burn with shame”.

For the stoplight, I actually side with the people some kind of traffic accident must have happened with Madotsuki (at least) around to witness it. She being able to control how others react may be an indication of how she wish she could actually do that, maybe to stop a traffic accident, maybe to stop someone’s actions that seem malicious, so on. Although it’s something I think I can only explain by going over some of the theories I have.

2.1.8. Umbrella, Hat and Scarf, Towel and Bicycle

These items, to me, don’t need to have specific meaning themselves, as they are very common everyday items and might just be that. I often dream I wear flip flops, but to me it doesn’t feel like a metaphor for anything, as I wear them everyday in my house. So these give me the impression of just that, representation of something that is considered normal and present on her life.

Although, the umbrella, bicycle and hat/scarf could indicate Mado’s desire to go outside. These could also be items that USED to be normal everyday items, but no longer are due to her being stuck insider her room. And highlighting the bicycle on it’s on, it’s a way of transportation that is very freeing, due to the person riding it being the one in control (different from taking the train or a car ride).

In contrast, the towel can be the comfort she feels by being inside and/or the fear of going outside. When using the effect, Mado sneezes, indicating she’s sick, so maybe there’s an association that she gets sick very often, probably by going outside. And that can corroborate the umbrella and hat/scarf, as they would protect her from getting sick (protect her from the outside).

2.1.9. Severed Head, Yuki-onna, Witch and Oni

While these could be an indication of Madotsuki “feeling like a monster”, or displaced, it could easily be an indication of just an interest in the supernatural and fantasy. Specially the witch effect that resembles Kiki from Kiki’s delivery service. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say Madotsuki (and Kikiyama by extent) may be a fan of Ghibli films, given Uboa can also be a reference to No Face.

2.1.10. Neon and Flute

Dude I don’t fucking know. LMAO. Maybe she likes playing the flute and think neons are cool. But for real, they may be simply just that, as again, not everything needs to have a “”deep”” meaning like I have for the others.

But if I HAD to come up with something, I’d say the neon effect is Mado’s desire to be noticed and the flute the desired to either be heard or create something. And both can be an indication that Madotsuki has an affinity for art, given the drastically changing style of her dreams, something that can happen with people who play and experiment with art often.

(ay. i was going to write more but hey i got tired so that's it for today. hope you liked my insane ramblings!)

[mythicandco]

tmc queer headcanons because why not I s'pose

by the way don't ship anyone or I will put you in the cube. the BAD one

general orientation stuff:

Mark's aroace, uses he/him pronouns, and has trans vibes but I'm not totally sure? maybe agender. Cesar's pan, trans, maybe poly or ambiamorous? and fine with any pronouns (genderfluid before the word for that existed because. he died before 1994) but prefers he/him most of the time (can be very fem presenting though! lots of eyeliner and dresses n such. they're rocking it)

just for sillies, the whole BPS is bi. Evelin's bi and prefers guys (she's not DIRECTLY part of the 'Society but still), Sarah's bi and prefers girls, Jonah's bi and ALSO prefers guys, and Adam's quoiromantic bi-ace because I've gotta project onto SOMEBODY

Evelin uses she/her and sometimes they/them if she feels like it, Sarah's a transgirl and uses she/her, Jonah's a transguy and uses he/they, and Adam is Adam. (we don't. we don't know what he has going on but he prefers he/him)

Thatcher's ALSO bi (trans, he/him), Ruth is demi and cishet (she/her), and Dave's aroace n agender (I dunno why I feel like both of Alex's characters are aroace? they just. those are the Vibes yknow?). they also occasionally use they/them but usually he/him

all of the alts besides Adam are triple a - aro, ace, agender (get it? because. 333-) and use they/it but I think Gabriel and Six play around with he/him as well

additional things 'cause why not:

Mark and Cesar are stupid and codependent. thank you so much, mustang, for putting them permanently in my brain forever /lh, pos. also their dynamic is really funny because Cesar has like a guy draped over one arm a gal on the other and Mark's like "I don't get it but ok cool" I dunno I laugh thinking about that kind of interaction. they also would probably joke about how Mark let Cesar have all of his gender if they actually knew what that meant

bisexual pride society. that's it that's all I have to say about them

Ruth probably said she was an ally and didn't identify as demisexual because she didn't know that was a thing and died before the term was even coined, but if she did she'd be like "omg that's me!" and now I'm making myself sad thinking about it

Ruth also dated a girl once but ultimately decided it wasn't her thing (I imagine they're still really good friends tho!) because it's okay to try stuff out and decide it doesn't fit you

Dave never needed no bitches, but he does give surprisingly good dating advice (got it by watching Thatcher struggle all through high school. Thatcher, for the record, gives AWFUL advice.)

also the mcp3 went to a pride rally at least once before things went to shit. they deserve it

[todd-machine]

@milekael tagged me so I thought I would hop onto this!!! TYSM FOR THE TAG MILES UAHAHAHA

are you named after anyone?

Not really! I mostly just picked some random things I vibe with tbh.

when was the last time you cried?

I can't actually remember :'D it couldn't have been awfully long ago tho, for some reason

do you have kids?

nope! I don't really plan on it.

do you use sarcasm a lot?

I think so, once in a while. If I do I normally tend to clarify tho, it does tend to pass over my own head a at times so if I notice it happening to others I'm usually quick to explain myself.

what sports do you play?

I've not been so active in recent years, but I used to love taking dance and swimming classes when I was younger tho! I've also dabbled in martial arts and ball games (football and basketball) over the years and I still really like a good walk or run.

what’s the first thing you notice about people?

Usually? Honestly the way people dress or their mannerisms like hand gestures and stuff, since I sometimes gravitate there to understand how people are speaking.

what’s your eye color?

Brown n green on both :3

scary movies or happy endings?

I'm usually not fond of jumpscare/shock horror and I'm more into the suspenseful or slow type really. Happy endings are sweet and very neat ways to end a plot but depending on the case they can sometimes leave me wanting more, idk.

any special talents?

Can measure out a perfect portion of rice by eye for some reason

where were you born?

That one I'd rather not say here. I have lived the majority of my time in England though 💀

what are your hobbies?

Aside from drawing I like... drawing XD but in all seriousness, I really like doing observational drawings from time to time, it helps clear the mind after spending so long animating for uni! I also love working on some short stories slowly, I collect stamps on the side and I've been really getting into cooking lately. I'd love to pick up traditional art to a more serious level once I have the time, too!

do you have any pets?

I don't :'D I'd love to once I can afford to and have the space to keep them though. Thinking mainly of cats honestly.

favorite subject in school?

Probably history! Art was fun too just wasn't so fond of the programme structure there. At least we had some great field trips for that though.

dream job?

Not really sure! I'm close to graduating from my animation undergrad though, hopefully, and I'm hoping to take that into short form stuff or TV within the industry eventually, probably as an animator. I'd love to be able to improve my skillset over time, though, especially in terms of technical and people skills, and maybe do some animation lead or directing at some point. At some stage later down the line I'd love to spend more time on my bigger personal project's production as well.

Augh tags- uuuhrbmrhrm idk @helio5 if u wanna do it go ahead, no pressure tho ofc!!! Anyone else who wants to pick this up as well feel free (sorry for not directly tagging many people, I simply get nervous easily XD)