#maybe i'll rewrite all my shitty old fics

[stardustandash]

being seized by the random urge to replay FFXV at 8pm was not something i saw coming but boy am i gonna do it

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Having the statue scene be what caused Adrien to fall in love with Marinette feel like one of many spite moves from Astruc. Like once again, he saw how much people hated that scene but instead of addressing the criticisms he instead just point blank tries to force us to like the scene.

I'd go with arrogance over spite. I don't know much about the man, but the quotes I've seen and my limited knowledge of the industry are why my standard take is that he and the writing staff are genuinely trying to tell a good story. While we think they're failing at it, they don't. They think it's good. You're not going to sway me to their point of view, but I do understand how they could get into that mindset.

It's incredibly rare to get professional writers who want to punish the audience. It's incredibly common to get writers who are so far up their own ass that they think they shit gold and anyone who disagrees is just a hater who can't understand their vision. While that viewpoint isn't ideal, it's not a terrible trait for a creative. You're unlikely to succeed in a creative field if you can't get into some version of that mindset.

Speaking as a writer, if you want to succeed in a creative field, then you do genuinely need to be your own biggest fan and learn to ignore criticism. Not because you're above criticism, but because:

Issue 1: A lot of people struggle with the difference between personal taste and actual flaws, leading to some really shitty "criticism". That doesn't mean that it's bad to talk about a thing in terms of personal taste, it just means that your criticisms maybe be highly subjective opinions and not objective flaws that the creator needs to know about. It's why things like book reviews are for the audience and not the author. I know people who have found great reads based on negative reviews because those reviews talked about the book in question in an objective enough way for those people to realize it had things that they loved. That means that those were excellent reviews, they let people know if they'd like the book or not, which is what a review is meant to do! It also means that the reviews were pretty worthless to the authors because there was nothing that needed changing. It was all a matter of personal taste.

Issue 2: Taking point one a step further: more objective, "good" criticism isn't necessarily valuable to a creator. Sometimes creators are willing to include "flaws" because their creation doesn't fit their vision without those "flaws". Creators can get away with that because different audiences will care about different things and you're never going to be able to appeal to everyone. This is not the greatest example, but I think it gets my point across, so I'll use it here anyway. As someone who prefers reasonably healthy couples, if I were to read a story with an awful romance, then I'd probably hate it and have very clear, logical reasons why. But if the author is totally aware that the couple is awful and needed them to be such for the story they wanted to tell? Then my critique has no value to them. It's why good critique is so hard to get and give. Good critique is not about shaping a story into what you'd call good, it's about shaping the story the writer wants to tell into its best form. It's super hard, but also fun and a good learning experience.

Issue 3: A lot of criticism is highly situational and public feedback will only ever come after a work is done and available to the public. That makes it questionable how much value you'd get from reading feedback at that point. For an ongoing work where only a part is done, you might get something useful, but for a finished one? It's questionable if there's any point in reading negative comments. For example, I've received unsolicited critical feedback on fics that are several years old. I have no idea what the goal of those comments is. Even if I agree with them, I'm not going to rewrite the fic for them. I even asked one of them what their goal was and they couldn't tell me. They just wanted me to know and the button said "comments" not "positive comments."

Issue 4: You're never going to be perfect, so even a great work will have flaws, but it's unhealthy to dwell on them. Listening to a thousand people point out what you got wrong is not going to help anyone improve. That's why good creatives are open to feedback, but they tend to have a select group that they go to for feedback during the creative process. They then ignore most other feedback. In most cases, that is the healthy way to approach the creative process. It's why I don't agree with those who complain about someone blocking critics on twitter. Block and move on isn't just advice for the plebs. Successful creatives are allowed to prioritize their mental health, too.

Of course, there is a double edged sword in action here. Because creatives need to be their own fans and develop that ability to ignore criticism, they are always at risk of forming echo chambers that lead them to create lesser works because everyone in their core team thinks the same way they do. They may not even have a core team! It takes a lot of humility and luck to find people who give you good feedback.

The echo chamber issue is especially true when creatives are successful as it's hard to want to change when you're making money off of whatever crap you put out. Once you reach a certain level of success, there will be a whole lot less push back on your terrible ideas. If it's going to make money either way, then why worry if it's total crap? (This is a major problem in the publishing industry, btw. People with large social media followings can get a book deal with relative ease and publish almost anything they want because the publisher knows it will sell and it's not their name that's going to be looked down on.)

Generally speaking, this is what I think happened with Miraculous. The show is incredibly successful so there's no reason to listen to criticism or expand the creative team. Until the show stops making money, it doesn't matter how bad it is, so there's no reason for the writers to question if they've become blind to their own flaws. And by the time the show goes too far and stops making money? It will probably be too late to fix the problems so the show will just die. That's just how this trend works.

In summary, I would not be shocked if the writers genuinely think they're writing wonderful stories and that the critics just can't see it because we're the spiteful ones, not them. People can develop really weird standards for what is good, especially when they're immersed in the industry. For example, it's not like Disney wanted to ruin the Star Wars brand or have their 100th anniversary film - Wish - be universally panned. Studios want to make money. Writers want to tell stories people like. Spite it's rarely the answer when they fail to do those things.

The one caveat I will give to the above is if you're referring to the kind of spiteful arrogance where someone creates a thing, people criticize said thing, and so the person makes more of said thing in retaliation because that's 100% spite. But it's not the kind of spite where they're making a thing bad on purpose. It's them saying, "no, this was good and I'm gonna make more of it because you're wrong and I'm right." People do that shit all the time and, once again, it's not an inherently bad thing. Like all emotions, spite is a neutral force and a powerful motivator. It can lead to great things and terrible things. I can think of spite projects that were wildly successful and spite projects that totally flopped. (Relevant Tumblr post)

If that's the argument you're making when you say "spite", then I could totally see the statue scene choice happening because the writers heard people dunking on it and they went, "No, you're wrong, that scene was awesome! In fact, to show you how awesome, we're going to have that be when Adrien's crush started!" Spite? Yes. Ruining the show on purpose to get back at haters? No.

[kitkatt0430]

Haven't done this in a while, but HOPPY EASTER everyone, here have an Easter gift of villains being villainous in a villains win story.

The obvious solution to save Dante seemed to be to make sure he was sent somewhere far, far away. Which Savitar cheerfully agreed to. “I know a few realities we could drop him off on where he’d be relatively safe. Live out a normal human life, only have to worry about the normal human problems. Cars are dangerous and so is walking down the stairs if you trip. Hell, bad run in with a vacuum cleaner and next thing you know you’re going in for MRIs and knee surgery.” “Do you ever shut up?” Reverb muttered in irritation. If he’d asked Zoom something like that? Vibrating hand through the chest, immediately. Savitar just laughed.

Savitar is a bit of a talkative and sarcastic little shit in this one, but once Reverb gets more comfortable around him the banter will be much more two-sided. (This is totally villain flirting, right?)

But it's not just villains being villainous around here. From the Eobard-is-the-shitty-ex fic for Barry/Cisco/Hartley...

“I let Eobard convince me you were a lying brat and by the time I realized he’d been playing me…” Cisco hesitated. “I’m sorry, Hartley. I should have listened to you.” “And maybe if I hadn’t been an easily flattered idiot, I would have realized what he was really up to and turned him in with proof before things got too far.” Hartley heaved a sigh. “Maybe I could have stopped him before he ever had the chance to hurt either of you.” “Him using you… using all of us… that’s not any of our faults,” Barry said. And, for the first time, he might even believe it.

The only reason Barry can pull out of his own guilt complex? He feels the need to help Cisco and Hartley pull out of theirs. Right now they're sitting outside the building where a long hearing over Eobard's actions just took place and old grievances are being aired and reviewed. So it's been a long, hard day for all three of them, having to give testimony on their relationships with Eobard at some point during the process. But the hearing was entirely off screen, because I didn't want to have to research the actual process of investigating these kinds of allegations. Just move on to these three bonding, shall we?

Tommy is having to deal with a lot of obnoxious Queen family nonsense in the Ep3 rewrite for my Arrow Redux series. Including Oliver teasing him a little over wearing some of his mom's things as a kid. Though, to be fair, there's definitely the impression afterwards that Oliver liked getting to see Tommy in those things...

“We were, what… twelve? Thirteen.” “Ollie, do not.” “And we found your mom’s old stuff in the attic…” Tommy sighed. “I looked good in the tiara and heels, shut up.” Dig chuckled softly. “You must have missed her a lot,” he offered, looking amused by their antics. “I did. I still do. I have most of her things squirreled away in storage, actually,” he said with an amused smile. “And I do still look good in the tiara and heels,” he added with a smirk, just to see how that would get taken.

I've still got about... a third of the episode left to go? And then I can run cleanup on the fic. I'm also using this scene to set up an event taking place between episodes 6 & 7 as I'm trying to use the airdates of episodes as guidelines for approximately when the events within them occur and Tommy is going to be participating in an annual charity auction for an LGBT+ cause. A date auction, of course. ;)

Instead of trying to fit that into an episode rewrite, I'll probably just include it as it's own separate fic between those two rewrites.

[ink-n-shadow]

Request - a headcanon or fic for Ian and Mickey realising their lease is up on the West Side apartment and they have to decide whether or not to stay. Or… their first official date night on the West Side. 💖

Eviction | Gallavich

pairing: Ian Gallagher x Mickey Milkovich

genre: slight angst/eventual fluff (shitty ending but i'm too tired to fix it)

word count: 1118ish

note: i kinda took this into a little bit of an angsty direction so i might rewrite this later but anyway－ (also apologies for going MIA again oops)

The red 'EVICTION NOTICE' stamp was the first thing Ian had noticed after Mickey carelessly tossed their mail on the kitchen counter.

"Hold up－" Ian pulled the envelope in question from the pile and held it close to his face, almost as if it was written in code. "Mick, I thought we paid our rent for the month."

Mickey sidled up to Ian's side, arm coming to loop comfortably around the taller man's midsection. "Thought I did－I took the check to that fucking office lady downstairs and everything."

There was a pause while Ian hurriedly ripped open the envelope and rifled through its contents, eyes scanning over the words quicker than Mickey could keep up with. He was barely past the 'Dear tenants...' part of the letter whenever Ian tossed it back onto the counter in defeat, knuckles immediately digging into his eyes anxiously.

Mickey forced Ian's back against the edge of the kitchen counter as his hands encompassed his husband's, uncovering the now watery green eyes staring back at him and soothingly petting at his cheek. "Hey, chill out, Gallagher. No need to get all anxious and shit, 'ight? I'll just go downstairs and talk to－"

"No! Mick, that's the fucking problem. The check bounced. If the check bounced, that means we don't have enough money in the account－which means we can't afford rent this month." Ian's chest was rising and falling in anxious, panicked breaths as he yanked his hands from Mickey's grip and started combing through his ginger hair. "I－I thought you said that that job was fucking legit!"

"It was! I..." Mickey turned on the ball of his foot as his eyes began scanning his surroundings, the gears of his brain spinning a mile a minute. "I thought it was." Maybe he had gotten the hourly rate wrong－it wouldn't be the first time Mickey struggled with math. But this was the first time that that lack of skill had him worried.

Ian had put his heart and soul into this West Side apartment, and it was finally starting to look like a real home. A photo of him and Mickey from their wedding reception hung delicately in the front hallway, beneath it a shoe rack full of old sneakers and a vanilla-scented candle Mickey swiped from a Marshall's. They even had scrounged up enough money to furnish the living and dining rooms, which simply consisted of some bare-bone table and chairs alongside a foldout sofa Ian was able to find on Facebook Marketplace. It wasn't a lot－especially not for a West Side apartment－but it was at least theirs. Ian couldn't begin to imagine having to pack it all up and move back in with Debbie and Lip. He couldn't imagine having to be back in that house again.

The sound of feet shuffling drew Ian out of his anxious spiral, his vision coming back into focus to see Mickey tousling his hair in the front hallway mirror. He had put on a white muscle tank with a pair of black sweatpants slung low across his hips. If the circumstances had been different, maybe Ian would be reacting differently.

"Mick－c'mon, might as well just start packing now." Ian stretched his hand out, frowning when his husband moved past him quickly without any acknowledgment. His anxiety morphed into annoyance. "Where the fuck're you going?"

"I'm just gonna go talk to the office lady. Shouldn't take me too long," Mickey muttered as he patted down his pants pockets, pressing a absentminded kiss onto the redhead's cheek before his head swiveled around the kitchen. "Have you seen my fucking keys?"

.................................................

Ian was halfway through writing a sappy text message to both Debbie and Lip, trying to explain the situation as best as he could without completely throwing his husband under the bus. He was about to hit send when the door busted open, Mickey padding inside with a soft smile and an armful of some takeout containers. “Mick—we had leftovers here. Why’d you—”

“Shut up. I got your favorite, so don’t give me that fuckin’ lip, ‘lright?” Mickey’s words seemed harsh, but the way his lips wore a soft smile made it known that it was all teasing.

Mickey made his way over to where Ian was sprawled out on the couch, setting the takeout containers onto the coffee table and pushing it closer so the redhead could reach it.

As he watched Ian wearily tear into the plastic bag, Mickey moved to set his keys onto the kitchen counter. “Got the rent stuff figured out too.” He said absentmindedly, as though it was no big deal. Mickey knew that Ian wasn’t going to react to it that way though.

“What did you do, Mick?” Ian asked slowly, eyes meeting his husband’s as he stopped opening the styrofoam container. “God, please tell me you didn’t tear that poor lady’s office down.”

Mickey groaned as he joined Ian on the couch, taking one of the styrofoam contains into his lap before kicking his boots up onto the coffee table. "Oh Jesus Christ—my husband has no faith in me. No, I didn't tear that woman's office apart. So relax and enjoy your food, 'kay Red?"

It was calm and quiet for a moment, the two of them eating their dinner in comfortable silence and listening to the storm outside as it began to pour. Mickey let out a soft sigh, knowing by the way Ian's eyebrows were knit together that his husband was still thinking about it.

"I just explained the situation to her, told her I'd get the rest of the money to her tomorrow. She said don't let it happen again. Happy?" Mickey explained as he reached over, stealing a french fry from Ian's container before leaning back against the leather of the couch.

Ian didn't object, instead leaning back with Mickey and chewing his food thoughtfully. "So what—that's it? How're you gonna come up with the rest of the money so quick?"

Mickey set the takeout container onto the coffee table as he swung his legs back down to the floor, fingers moving to untie the laces before toeing off his boots. "I called Frank. He's gonna let me work a quick shift at the Alibi tomorrow—should be enough to cover the difference."

Once his boots were off and on the floor, Mickey shifted in his spot on the couch to face Ian, laying one arm across the back of the couch and letting the other lay in his lap. "Now c'mon, stop being so worried and pissy at me. Please? I bought your favorite food and everything."

As much as Ian wanted to fight it, he couldn't help the soft smile that stretched across his lips as he took another bite of food. "Alright—fine. You're outta the doghouse f'now. But next time? Let me handle the money, alright?"

[the-flaming-nightmare]

Thank you for the tag, @snarkythewoecrow! 💙💙

What ship were you completely obsessed with as a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore?

Hmmmm, probably either RoyalChaos (Chilled Chaos and ZeRoyalViking from YouTube), Ianthony from Smosh, or NovaHD (UberHaxorNova and ImmortalHD from YouTube). The way these ships had me SCOURING FF.Net, Wattpad and AO3 for content lmaoooo.

Which ship would you consider your first one?

Probably Helga/Arnold from Hey Arnold. I had no idea what shipping was at the time, but Goddamn did 9 year old me get giddy af whenever there was an episode centered around them lol. And the original Hey Arnold movie when Helga actually got to KISS Arnold??? Bro, the way kid me absolutely went INSANE when I first watched it! So I'm sure you can imagine how happy my inner child was when the 2017 movie made them canon.

Your first fanfic was about which couple?

Sebaciel. It was the absolute cringest smut fic imaginable. But then again I was 13 when I wrote it, so not exactly a shocker there I guess. I will say tho, the concept I had was actually kinda good. Who knows, maybe I'll give it a rewrite one day...

Do you remember the first couple you saw fanart of?

I can't remember exactly, but it was either a ship from DBZ or Helga/Arnold.

Have you ever gotten into ship discourse?

Nah, not really.

Did you used to have any NOTP or have one currently?

Yea I have a couple. Mainly because certain people who ship them can be annoying af (and sometimes just downright shitty) about shipping them, so it's just completely ruined the idea for me. I won't name the ships outright, but will say they are popular ships from Supernatural and 9-1-1. Ship what you like, just don't be a shitty person to random people online or towards the actors/writers of the show. And now I'll shut up.

Who were the last couple in the last fanfic you read?

Bathena from 9-1-1.

Currently, do you have any OTPs?

Yup! Sebaciel and Wincest forever, man.

Is there any couple that, to this day, that you are extremely mad about not getting into?

Hmmmm, no I don't think so.

Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they're kind of interesting?

Uhhhh, no? I can't think of any.

Do you have any ship that, in the past, would have been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

Practically almost all of the ships I have are considered problematic by the anti infested side of fandom, so yes lmao.

What is your favorite crack ship?

Don't have one. I'm pretty sure I have read a few of them before, but clearly none that have stuck with me personally.

What is the couple you read the most fanfics about?

Probably either Sebaciel or Wincest.

What do most of your ships have in common?

Height difference, huge age gaps, codependency, and incest. There's probably more similarities, but these are the ones that first come to mind lol.

What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

Ummmm... nothing? Nothing comes to mind right now at least.

Tagging (if you wanna): @angelique-of-the-volturi-guard, @thegoeticcleric, @tomwise, @snowviolettwhite, @anewkindofme and anyone who wants to join!

[practically-an-x-man]

7, 8, 17, 23, 31, 35, 47, 52, 57, and 70 for the fic writer ask game!

Ooooh thank you so much!!

Ask Game for Fic Writers

7. tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote

Technically it was this 5-page-long, super shitty fic in the Terfy Wizard Fandom that I wrote when I was 10 or 11. But we're not gonna talk about that.

My first fanfic that I wrote with the knowledge of it being fanfic, and posted on AO3, was an X-Men fic featuring an OC named Mira Hart. The plot basically just walked through the events of First Class and DOFP with Mira included (and in a semi-tumultuous relationship with Hank McCoy), and I had plans to eventually include Apocalypse, Dark Phoenix, and some original plotlines as well (though that hasn't happened, and I kinda doubt it will. Maybe maybe one of the original ideas but I'm not sure)

Given it was my first fic, I think some of the ideas still do hold up, though the writing does make me cringe a little lol. I think it would be cool to rewrite/revamp it and give Mira the love she really deserves, but on the other hand I have a much more interesting idea to write between Hank and a new OC that I think I'd rather focus on first. Not to say I can't write both eventually, but... Delphi is really fucking cool dude you'd love her.

8. what’s your relationship with constructive criticism and feedback like? do you seek it out? how well do you take it?

Hm... that's a tough one. I'm used to seeking out and receiving feedback thanks to theatre and FX work and all that (though the RSD is brutal sometimes and I hate that), but unsolicited feedback is one of my biggest pet peeves. I can take feedback pretty well when I'm expecting it, but when it comes out of the blue then my brain just will not let go of it and it leaves me feeling insecure and awful.

When it comes to fic writing, I don't usually seek out constructive criticism. I'm posting my fics for free, for fun, and to relax, I don't need people picking them apart (unless it's to point out what they enjoyed!)

17. what is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

Answered previously, but I also can never decide lmao

23. how do you deal with writers block?

In the short term, I try to switch to a different task to give my brain a break. I'll walk my dogs, play a video game, practice guitar or draw a couple sketches, whatever I feel like that doesn't require the same type of concentration. It helps unstick the gears a little.

In the longer term, I'll pick up a few new books or reread some old favorites. I call it "recharging my words", it's something I've done since I started writing and it really helps! I do still love to read even when I'm not under writer's block, but making a targeted effort to notice the author's voice and style can sometimes help me get back to my own author's voice.

31. tell us about one of your characters who’s an absolute joy to write

QUINN!!! Holy shit she's SO fun dude you have no idea!! Sometimes writing her is fun because it's cathartic, since some of her experiences with disability, counterculture, and gender are reflections of my own, and sometimes it's just fun because it's fun - she's so sassy and just a total ball of chaos, there's never a dull moment!

35. tell us about a character who’s very different than you who you love a whole lot

All my OCs tend to reflect me in some way or another, even if that's just a single trait or interest of theirs, but I think the one that's the least similar to me is probably Eris. I'm not a violent or angry person in the slightest, and their experiences are vastly different from my own, but he has just such an interesting view on the world and I love her to the ends of the earth.

47. what story are you most proud of?

Oh man... all of them? In their own ways? They each accomplish something a little different, and it's hard to compare them directly.

But if I had to pick one... Heartstrings. I love the dynamic between Jasper and Kyle, I think there's a lot of emotional depth to it, and we're at the point in the story where the plot is starting to pick up a little speed.

52. how many unfinished ideas/stories are you working on at the same time?

Oh man... I think I'm running at 7 simultaneous longfics (Smoke and Mirrors, Catch and Release, Who Waits Forever Anyway?, Heartstrings, Taking Flight, Heart in Your Hands, and Desert Song) at the moment, plus... I don't even know how many separate pieces. Let's see...

Eris (oneshot series, got 3 upcoming ideas)

Nikoletta (oneshot series, got 2 upcoming ideas)

Gia (oneshot series, need to start writing out her main story, no idea how many fics that'll end up being)

2 upcoming ArchAegis oneshots

Vivienne's story (probably a longfic but I need to start writing it)

Spider's story (also probably a longfic, albeit a shorter one, still needs an outline and a full OC bio and everything else)

Plus my writing ideas masterlist has 43 other ideas, in various stages of complexity and readiness, that I haven't even begun to start writing yet

57. what is the last thing that a fic made you google when you were reading it?

HAHA okay

"friends singing to marcel"

Context: mentioned it as a throwaway detail in the new chapter of Heartstrings, I was pretty sure the song was The Lion Sleeps Tonight but was just uncertain enough that I had to check

70. are you very critical of your own writing? how much do you find yourself editing (either during the writing or after the fact)?

I used to be very critical of my own writing, but now as I've gotten more comfortable with my style and voice, I'm a little more comfortable with it. I don't do a ton of editing, honestly: each writing session starts with me rereading what I wrote last time and making some minor tweaks as needed, followed by one more quick scan as I'm in the process of posting the finished piece/chapter, but I don't do a lot of intense editing.

[callmedanquixote]

❥ N A V I G A T I O N

❥ Hello! You can call me DanOh

❥ She / her | 26 | Spanish & English | Ace

❥ INFJ | Sagittarius 🏹 | Wiccan

❥ Who I stan?

SEVENTEEN, WAYV, SUPER JUNIOR, THE BOYZ, DPR, GOT7, SF9, MONSTA X, EXO, NU'EST, ATEEZ, NCT.

Maybe I don't write specifically about all those groups but you can find the members as characters in some of my fics.

❥ I'm a slooow writer because I have a work that leaves me drain a lot during weekdays and I also struggle with bipolar disorder on a daily basis so I ask for your patience pls 🙏💖

❥ I will finish all my current and future works. I'm kinda slow cause I write in spanish first and then in english. And sometimes when I don't feel like it's a perfect work I tend to rewrite it a couple more times.

❥ So, yeah. This blog is basically made for me to write all the shitty cliché stuff that I love with the people I like. If you like the stories I write, thank u so much. I hope I can give you a little time of entertainment. 🌸

Masterlist

Last work: Blooming even in the shadows - Chapter 2

Currently working in:

✧ A reverse harem with magic, royalty and our beautiful 96 line (Wonwoo, Kun, Doyoung, Changkyun and Sangyeon) - Completing plot ideas

✧ A creepy(?), sick and questionable story in a mental facility with DPR Ian, Wonwoo and Mingyu. - Writing. Maybe (I really hope so) out in november.

✧ A super cliché college au, friends to lovers, with the beautiful Editor in Chief of the newspaper Doyoung. - Making a list of situations for the plot

✧ A marriage of convenience au, with a lot of juicy drama with Kun and Doyoung. - Rewriting ideas to complete the plot so I can rewrite the chapters I already had.

✧ Rich people, chaebol life, kinda enemies to lovers, with Wonwoo, Mingyu and Jun. - Completing (rewriting) plot ideas.

✧ Soulmate au, lots of drama, angsty but I only write happy endings so don't worry too much, with Kun. - Finding time to write this story. I have the complete sketch but I need to give it shape.

✧ Blooming even in the shadows: My Hogwarts/The Boyz series that I absolutely will finish one day hehe. I just need to catch up with my old chapters and with my plot ideas so I can continue the story well. And I'm trying to reduce the chapters so I'll finish it faster.

[sehunniepotwrites]

OKAY IM READY JOHNNYS POV FROM ALL MY LOVING WHEN YN LETS OUT ABOUT HER FEELINGS like that part where she's like "you really hurt me" and he's like *wince*

game. send me a scene from one of my fics and i'll rewrite in the other's pov!

fic. i'll send all my loving to you scene. "you really hurt me." warnings. n/a (will update later if i find the need for any!) word count. 2.5k+

notes. written in multiple airports. unedited and uploaded using shitty airport wifi. brooke bb, i love you for requesting this!!! for all my "all my loving" enthusiasts, this is for you <3 (tagging @suhnnyskiess because i know how much you love this fic!!)

DISCLAIMER. This is work of fiction. I do not own the people/characters or concepts I have written about. You cannot translate or copy my work. © sehunniepotwrites, 2022

“Can we talk in private for a little bit?” Johnny found himself asking after listening to everyone in the room talk about this poet his girlfriend raved about. Alice went on and on about this writer, annoying him with compliments about these words that tugged on her weakened heartstrings, and it began to irritate him. But hearing you suggest that he should give this particular collection a chance made him want to read into it. Then again, he could almost never say no to you. Keyword: Almost.

There was that one time that refused to escape his memory. It was the moment in time that he regretted; a moment he desperately wanted to fix. Johnny needed to erase the image of your brokenhearted face from his mind. Maybe then, the feeling of missing you would subside.

Johnny followed you out as you led him to your snow-covered porch. It brought back flashes to the good old days with you, when nothing else mattered except him and his best friend. 

Like it was second nature to him, Johnny moved ahead to brush the cold off the steps and motioned for you to take a seat. He smiled to himself as he saw you flinch as the freezing cold touched the fabric of your pants. The man was glad to see that some things never changed—you were still ever-so-sensitive to the cold. Seeing you shiver against the winter breeze pushed him to place his body right next to yours, secretly hoping that his warmth would find its way to you, just like it used to. Maybe you didn’t take note of the way your body immediately pressed against his but Johnny did. 

Johnny tried his best not to look at you. He tried not to take in the many ways the years apart had changed you. The dark circles and bags under your eyes were darker now, visible under your light layer of concealer. Although you were dressed up, hair styled immaculately, and your outfit so put together, you still looked affected by something. 

Were you lacking sleep? Were you taking care of yourself? Was there something stressful going on in your life? 

Was he the stressor himself? He heard that you hadn’t returned to town ever since your falling out. His heart shattered at the fact that you went out of your way to avoid him.

Granted, he never came back either but for different reasons. Johnny was caught up in his new relationship with Alice, constantly spending his breaks with her. Three years into their relationship, he had met the family and traveled around the States with Alice at his side. But seeing you again, still looking like an angel in the snow, his eyes kept focusing on you. They tracked the way you warmly greeted his parents and how they accepted you into their arms with no room for hesitation. He also saw the way his parents smiled and treated his lover—welcoming but not to the point how they treated you, his pretty little sunflower.

Would you still smile at the nickname he used to call you? Should he even risk saying it? The word “flower” sat on the tip of his tongue, itching to come out. Remembering how you blew up last time, the boy decided not to. 

Instead, he stretched out his large palm to catch flakes in his hand. He watched them melt away as soon as they hit his skin. “Remember when Frozen came out? All you wanted to do is build a snowman,” he babbled. He winced. Was that really the only icebreaker he could come up with? He almost smacked the side of his head for his stupidity.

Surprisingly, bringing up fond memories worked because you had replied with, “How could I ever forget that?”

Johnny turns to see you with a hint of a smile gracing your lips—a pair he had missed. He missed the sounds you would make, the words that used to spill out, and all the little shapes they used to form as you talked. God, how he missed you. And it was all his fault. You did nothing wrong but love him and he rejected you harshly. All because he was frightened of losing the best thing he ever had.

He sat in silence with you, both pairs of eyes glued to the falling snow that always tied you two together before he spoke again. “I know this is practically years too late but I’m sorry for how things ended.” 

Johnny was more than sorry. He would do anything to make up for the lost time. He’d do anything for you to return to him as a friend. He’d love to introduce you to the special girl in his life, a person that shared a few similarities with you. He hoped you would get along. 

“You really hurt me.”

He knew that he would have to work for your forgiveness. You couldn’t just let him back in and erase all the pain with one simple apology. But he also didn’t imagine you admitting how much pain you were in. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“No, I don’t think you do know, John,” you snapped back, a fire igniting in the eyes he used to look into.

Funny how those same eyes used to lure him to sleep and be the first thing he saw when he woke in the morning. And now, they were the ones that scorned him so deeply, that he thought first aid was needed on his aching heart. The harshness in your words called for silence and his lips clamped shut to obey your quiet command. He shrunk into himself, never experiencing the receiving side of your wrath before.

Then, Johnny realized you called him by another name. Why did hearing his government name slip past your lips hurt him more than anything else in the world? Why did he long to hear you say Johnny once more? 

“Johnny.”

“What?”

“I don’t like when you call me John. It’s always been Johnny to you.”

You didn’t respond right away. Johnny thought his words were lost to the loud, blustery breeze that blew past your close bodies. But you heard him, loud and clear. “Right, Johnny.”

The way your knees grazed his as you turned affected him in more ways than one. It was another reminder of how much time had flown without each other. Back when everything was easier, when he didn’t break your heart, your bodies could easily fit into one step. Now, you pressed in a way that friends—former lovers—shouldn’t be. There was a second where Johnny thought about pulling one of your knees into his lap, just so you could be more comfortable on the hard, wooden steps. He refrained, of course, because what kind of image would that bring to your families, friends, and his girlfriend that they left inside? 

The sort of intimacy he used to share with you was impossible to recreate. Out of respect for you and his loyal girlfriend, Johnny had to stop his mind from steering in that direction. But heavens above, how he just missed your presence. His hands twitched as he willed himself not to reach for you.

“But you need to know. I was a wreck when you left me.” Johnny picked up on the way your usually strong voice broke. He hated that he was the reason your sturdy voice wavered.

“Just—just imagine this for me, okay?” 

He agreed silently. He had his chance to speak all those years ago. Now, it was your turn to let it all out with no interruptions in your way. You deserved to be heard and Johnny was willing to listen. 

“Just imagine falling for the person you trusted most in the world, yeah? The person who was like your guiding light home, who could make you feel better with just one touch.” As you set the scene with your words, Johnny could feel you shivering with emotions. He was aware of how your nails dug into your thighs—a habit of yours Johnny hated, he never did approve of you inflicting pain on yourself—as you continued on. How would it feel if you pushed all that heartache towards him instead? Could he stand it?

“Picture telling that person that you loved them and not platonically. That you loved them in that romantic, ‘I want to be more than friends, hold my hand and never let me go’ type of way.” 

Tears were willing their way out of his eyes but he closed his lids, refusing for them to fall. Johnny didn’t deserve to cry. He deserved to take it all. Gulping back his emotions, he bit his lip. That sting was nowhere near the agony you had gone through but it was something. Your words were laced with so many emotions, he failed to pinpoint every single one. But the desperation to be heard was clearly there. It clung onto every syllable, word, and breath of air you took

“Imagine telling the person who promised to never hurt you that you are in love with them and then they just tell you ‘no.’ Can you picture that in your head, Johnny? You give them your everything and then they tell you one simple word that just tears you apart?” 

He cleared his throat but that was the only noise he could make. “I miss you so fucking much, you don’t understand.”

He jumped up at your confession, relieved that you missed him as well. “I’ve missed yo—”

“I’m not finished.” Your words cut him off. The delivery was as sharp as the knives he used to cook meals with you earlier during your college years, slicing him into pieces. A manicured finger met his face, almost poking him in the eye. He flinched back, Johnny’s shoulders falling as he did so. He felt so incredibly small, like he was reverting back to the times he heard his parents arguing through his thin walls. 

“I’ve missed you and I appreciate your apology but in no way can I forgive you right away. That amount of hurt needs a lifetime to heal completely.” 

Unwavering tone delivering words straight and true, he looked at you with admiration. Johnny was amazed at how strong you had become. 

“You may have not wanted to turn our whole friends-with-benefits relationship into something more and I get that now. But you have to understand, Johnny.” A moment of stillness took over as you paused. The man beside stole a glance at you, seeing the way you discreetly ran your fingers against your throat. He guessed you were getting choked up.

“You, you—God, you left me all alone to deal with that heartbreak! You just—you just threw me away like a crumpled piece of paper on the damn floor, you couldn’t even pick me up and—and place me in the trash.” A spitfire you were, rapidly shooting out words that shot him where it would hurt the most. But again, you were right in his glassy eyes. You would always be right. Johnny had left you hanging; you were so incredibly close to him and he shoved you away when you had so much to say. He forced you to watch him walk away from your friendship, your situationship, and lastly, what seemed to be a transition from friends to something more. 

The feeling of his tongue licking his dry lips paired with the sensation of teeth sinking into his bottom lip helped him plow through his messy thoughts. He wondered if your eyes could spot the way the gears were slowly turning in his head. You used to say that you could. Was he still an easy read to you? 

He tangled his long fingers through his loose bangs, he holding them back for a second before releasing them. “I’m sorry. I don’t even know what to say except that I’m just really sorry. I didn’t know.” 

Apologies were all he could give. He couldn’t give you his heart back then and even now. In the past, it trembled but it belonged to you. In the present, it belonged to that beautiful girl sitting on your couch, a place where he used to relax with you. 

“I know, Johnny. I can see that. If anything, please just understand that I not only lost a lover I thought I had that day but my best friend in the whole entire world, too. Okay?”

“Yeah,” was all that came out of his mouth for just a moment. A lover. You had seen him as a lover. That was such a high title coming from you. It was a claim that he wanted to reciprocate many years ago but lacked the courage to. He would’ve loved being loved by you. He already adored being your number one person, your best friend. Why couldn’t his past self take the leap and accept the strong flame he felt for you? Why was he still thinking about all of the regrets he had when it came to loving you? It felt so wrong of him. “Okay. I understand.”

There was another brief period of stillness as the words sunk into your heads. 

You had shaken him to the core. He still couldn’t believe you loved him in that way. 

A lover. Your lover. 

Your love for him started off as a little seedling of friendship, sprouting leaves and stems that grew and grew. Then, it blossomed into a beautiful flower, one so yellow and bright, face looking for the rays of the sun—a face that only looked at him. 

“But,” you said softly, snapping him out of his thoughts. He felt your soft fingers graze under his neck, aiming for his strong jaw. You lifted his chin with a hand at school at the first moment of contact. “I would be so happy to have you back in my life, Johnny. That is, if you’ll have me.”

The blond was relieved that you were talking to him. Beyond happy that you were willing to rekindle the friendship—he was determined to win back his best friend, no matter how long it would take for you to fully forgive him. Excited that you seemed to get along with his girlfriend. 

But there was this weird feeling that came over his heart when you said his name with that certain softness in your voice. The way you held his chin with the lightest of touches sent tingles down his spine.

Johnny ignored the fluttering in his chest and pulled you into his arms. He felt you sigh happily, your smaller build sinking into his comforting hold. 

His chin rested against the top of your head. “Of course, flower,” the nickname slipped out naturally. “I’m just happy to have my best friend back,” he muttered.

And when you looked up at him with glittering eyes that looked like the snow falling from the sky, he swore his heart leaped out of his chest. “Me too.”

© sehunniepotwrites, 2022

[loud-whistling-yes]

💐 (... how many flowers do you think can i get way with- HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THIS THING THAT SHOWED UP ON MY KEYBOARD)

SALKHDHSAHLKAS GIVE ME THAT EMOJI HOLY SHIT THATS SO FUNNY

anyways since there's 6 there i guess you get 6 sentences?... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The boy on the ground shakes too, whether in laughter, pain or both she doesn’t know until he cracks a grin of his own, massaging where a bruise would soon appear on his chest.  --- this one is from a mcyt writing/drawing event that i pulled out of a few weeks ago. not sure if i'll ever come around to finishing this fic since i have no need to anymore, but i think its a pretty nice read so far. this section's supposed to be a childhood fic of esmp!pearl and sausage lol

A lonely boy stands on a pillar in the clouds and all the sky can see is him. --- This one’s from an au i was working on?? p sure it was hermit!tommy and sun/moon/star grian/pearl/gem that came from that one post from @/hermitcrossovers. never actually got around to doing much with it though, the docs only has half a page filled 😭

No wonder their bodies break so quickly. It takes longer than a blink, of course. Longer than a sneeze. A yawn perhaps. Or maybe enough time to do a quick stretch only to come back and find out they’re gone. --- okay technically this is half a paragraph but this particular wip was made completely of short sentences that only made sense together so here’s a huge chunk of text from an abandoned drista fic. i have so many drista fics that i never finished you dont even know. something something to love things you can never comprehend 

(God, she hopes he’s scared. Hopes he’s hurting. Hopes that when she dies he dies and he finds out this is what he gets for leaving her alone.) --- yeah another rapid-fire short sentence paragraph so you just get a buy one get more for free deal. this one is a dl!galaxy duo fic i never finished? i think i started this one a few days after session 1 came out and never bothered to continue after session 2 came

The moon was so bright and round that he swore that if he reached for it he would've felt it. --- this one’s from the REALLY shitty old fic i wrote like 2 years ago?? again another dsmp fic i never got around to finishing... i might rewrite this one though, cause the idea itself was pretty neat the execution just sucked ass

Whether he was trembling from the cold water, the excitement, or the fear, Tommy didn’t know, and didn’t care. --- ALSO from previously said shitty fic, cause it actually has some good sentences in between the really really bad ones

oh yeah SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER MAE IT’S BEEN IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS. my brain doesn’t like functioning apparently. also yeah the first wip sentence and everything before that was written the same day the ask was sent, then i got distracted somehow and it got saved into my drafts??? i dont know whats wrong with me