#maybe i'll get him in it in canonverse if i do a lot of work and/or engineer some way 2 force him into it

[astromechs]

wake up babe, the funniest comment i've ever gotten on ao3 has dropped

[oceanic-sunsets]

Byler fic rec part two: extra long edition!

How is everyone doing?? It's been a while since my last fic rec post, which means, I've read a lot more fics and I can give you an extra long fic rec list to enjoy during the holidays. This doesn't mean they're holiday themed (but if you want that, let me know and I'll make a different post with ONLY holiday-themed recs!).

Be aware that when I say this is an Extra Long list, I mean it, that's why I'll start the actual list under the cut. As always, my fic recs DON'T feature nsfw. Enjoy!!

let me steal this moment from you now by smoosnoom (moonsooms) | 13k words | canon compliant "Mike moves in his bed, and Will's eyes stay firmly on the ceiling. "I feel like we barely know each other anymore."

And Will can't argue with that, so he replies, "What do you want to know?"

There’s a long lapse of silence, and then –

“Can you come up here?” In the wreckage, Mike and Will spend a series of nights together." This fic is amazing. Mike and Will share a room , and he tries hard to disconnect himself emotionally from the situation. But Mike wants to be friends again, makes the effort, and Will finds himself unable to refuse his friendship. They slowly work to build up their bond again, but it's tentative, and also new, because there's something different about it now. A fic FULL of longing, and amazing characterization.

it's a choice (getting swept again) by wiseatom | 9k words | canon compliant, fix it "The problem is this: they’ve got a lot of problems right now, and every last one of them is more important than Will and his fragile, bruised heart.

A Season 4 fix-it wherein Will has a lot of feelings, El is the best sister, and Mike Wheeler has emotional intelligence." The one in which Will learns he deserves good things, and that doesn't make him selfish, but it'd be okay if he was a little selfish and indulged himself. Mike here also has good communication skills and uses his words for once to voice his feelings!

i've come home, i'm so cold by astrobi | 53k words | set in canonverse, but they're in college and the vecna stuff is over "Will's trying his hardest to make it through fall semester in one piece. Unfortunately for his degree, he's being haunted by maybe-feelings for his best friend (metaphorically), and also a maybe-ghost with rather abysmal fashion sense (literally)." This is probably my favorite college fic. It's amazing, seriously, it has everything you could wish for and more! Will's and Mike's friendship is so good, you can tell how much they care and love each other, and how that means they're afraid to make a move so it doesn't affect the friendship they've rebuilt. It has a fun ghost sideplot, which doesn't have that much relevance because it's not what the story is about, but it is a plus! Read this if you're in the mood for something good, heartwarming and unresolved romantic tension between two best friends.

honey-mouthed by smoosnoom (moonsooms) | 10k words | They're in high school, no one died and everything is okay! “Do you want to go home?” He questions, leaning close and voice soft, and Will pauses, before nodding again. Mike lets out a breath, and lets his hand press against Will a little more firmly when he starts to sway in place again. “Okay, let’s go.”

Then he looks up and is met with smug faces, and Mike flushes when he realizes his own hypocrisy.

“I don’t talk like that,” Max recalls, voice high-pitched and overly girly and – Mike definitely doesn’t talk like that.

According to everyone in his life, Mike has a voice reserved just for Will. He tries to figure out what that says about him." This fic is about the Will Voice. Everyone is aware that mike speaks differently to Will, except him. When his mom makes him aware of this, well, it sends Mike into a crisis. Fun, sweet, and has the tag "Mike is a cringefail loser" so what more could you ask for?

you can hear it in the silence by astrobi | 36k words | in this universe the UD stuff happened but it's in the past and all is good "mike wheeler on losing people and having them again, the difference between wanting and needing, and finally letting go.

ft. robin buckley, will byers, and the mortifying ordeal of working in the food service industry" Am I ever going to stop including astrobi's fics in my rec lists? No, please go read everything they've written! Now this fic is not the exception. Mike has a job in a dinner. Everyone else has moved away for college, including Will, with who he has a long-distance friend(relation)ship, as they talk on the phone all the time. When Will comes back, well, Mike is finally forced to confront a thing or two. This fic is really Mike centric, which I love because Mike's pov-centric fics are probably my favorites. Also, it has Mike and Robin friendship, which we deserve more of!

all this time (how could you not know?) by astrobi | 27k words | Senior year of High School, UD happened but only has light mentions. Mike sighs, looking down at his hands. "I always thought I would end up with someone more similar to me, you know? Someone I can talk about, like, hobbies and music and stuff with, without them visibly losing interest halfway through.”

You have more in common with him than El, says the voice in Will’s head. He wonders, briefly, whether it would be weird to shove his face back into the pillow and scream.

Will is definitely not qualified to be giving out any relationship advice. For one, he's never actually dated anyone before. Second, one of the people in said relationship is his sister. And third, the other person is the guy he's sort of in love with. There's no possible way this could backfire. Right? What did I tell you? yeah, another great piece by astrobi! This is 'Mike and Will with an enormous amount of pining and obliviousness: the fic'. It's about the party's senior year, and prom, so you know what all of this means. I LOVED the party's friendship here. It's something I could ramble more about, but it's better you should experience it yourself. Also, it made me have "Right Here Waiting" by Richard Marx on repeat for weeks.

spoonful of sugar by smoosnoom (moonsooms) | 6k words | college au “Just to be sure, you – what were you agreeing to?” Mike blurts. “Like, was it the seeing other people thing, or the kiss – the practice kissing thing? I was – I’m just making –”

“The second one,” Will forces out, feeling awkward to his very bones. “The – practice.”

Mike, somehow, turns even redder. “Right. Yeah. Okay.”

Mike offers to teach Will how to kiss. It goes well, all things considered." I think the summary is pretty self-explanatory. When you offer to teach your best friend (who you're in love with) how to kiss, well, it goes exactly how you'd expect. Fluff! They actually communicate!

i'd make a deal with god by smoosnoom (moonsooms) | 15k words | canon compliant "But he’s getting better. He’s getting better at it. Mike steps forward, and Will retreats. He’s getting better. “You’re avoiding me.” So, for Mike to barge into his room and demand an explanation for why Will has been pulling away – well, maybe he’s a little confused.

Will finally rips off the band-aid. Mike won't let him." This one ripped my heart off from my chest, made me tear up for real. Will's fears and feelings are so heartbreaking and so real here. He really wants to rip off the band-aid. He thinks it's the best for him and the best for Mike, but he's failing to consider something: Mike's feelings on the matter. So Will is avoiding him, but Mike won't let him. Will doesn't understand why, and it frustrates him to no end, because can't Mike just get it? But no worries! it has a happy ending. Just talking about this is making me want to re-read it.

i'm caught up in you by wiseatom | 18k words | S4 fix it, in the Upside Down edition "Mike keeps losing Will, time and time again. Time and time again, he always gets him back.

Or, alternatively: “Mike and Will’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Night in the Upside Down: and Other Tales” by Mike Wheeler" You heard it! Byler in the upside down in Mike's pov. Have I mentioned how much I love Mike's pov fics? yeah? well, that, and I also love Byler in the upside down fics. Which means this fic has two of my favorite things a fic could have. It also has a beautiful narration, which fits amazingly with Mike's character, who wants to be a writer! This is a must read.

there is thunder in our hearts by smoosnoom (moonsooms) | 9k words | canon compliant “Yeah,” Mike nods, but it isn’t the most convincing, and he can’t find it in him to care, in the late hour, “I was just – thinking.” It’s not the most significant outfit, but still. Will looks nice. He’s always looked good in white. Mike blinks. That’s – weird. That’s a weird thing to think about his best friend. He effectively turns off his brain. Will asks, “About what?” “You,” Mike replies, and maybe turning his brain off was the worst idea he could’ve possibly had at nearly three a.m., Jesus fucking Christ.

Mike confronts Will about the painting, and lets a few confessions slip." Yes, I'm also going to rec every fic by smoosnoom. This one is no exception. If you want to read a fic where Mike actually confronts Will about the painting, this is it. running up that road by smoosnoom (moonsooms) | 17k words | canon compliant fix it “I didn’t want to lie to you.” Will’s voice is quiet and breakable, so different from the defensive, factual tone it should be. He should be meaner. Harsher. Crueler. “I just – I didn’t think it’d matter.”

It feels like Mike’s entire body trembles, shakes like it’s about to burst. “You didn’t think it’d matter if you lied to me?” He hisses, and his voice cracks, just the littlest bit.

Mike Wheeler tries his best to navigate his way through the end of the world, with lots of maybes and misplaced anger." THIS is one of my favorites Mike's pov fics. Which is a big compliment coming from me. I truly believe the way Mike and his feelings are portrayed here fit perfectly with canon, what he feels and why. This one deals with grief, which I think is necessary and will be a big deal for Mike as a character in s5. And smoosnoom wrote it perfectly, so the Duffers better watch out. This Mike just feels so real and I love the author for it. Please do yourselves a favor and go read it!

i hate accidents (except when we went from friends to this) by blackdeathmamba | 16k words | Post canon, characters are in college "Alternatively: five times Mike kissed Will, and one time Will kissed back." Some of you must've already read this one. If you haven't, what are you waiting for?? This fic is sweet, fun and oh, poor Will.

baby, we're perfect by bookinit | 16k words | canonverse "Mike grabs Will’s hands and tangles them with his own, blinking up at him through his long, dark lashes. His eyes are endless. Solid black, like the night above them. So shiny that Will can see himself, tipsy and happy, in the reflection. “I want to be stuck with you,” Mike whispers, like it’s a secret. “I don’t ever want to leave.”

Will sucks in a sharp breath, squeezing his hands. “Then don’t,” he whispers back, punched-out and honest. “Stay.”

—

Senior year in Hawkins. Will and Mike figure some things out." This one is also popular for a reason. You just have to experience it yourselves. If you haven't read it, just trust me and do it. And keep reading. Things aren't as it seems. One second you're reading tooth-rotting fluff and the next you're breaking down crying along with Will.

playing pretend never felt so real by RomeoWrites | 23k words | no UD “So, what were you saying then? About your mom and the vacation?”

“Well,” Mike says slowly, coming to sit upright again. “I may have told my mom - and I promise this makes way more sense in context - but I may have told her that we were…well - I maybe told her that we’re dating.”

“What?”

OR

Mike and Will pretend to date. It goes exactly how you would imagine. I'm so glad we as a fandom are starting to hop into the fake relationship train for byler. It's a mess, it's fun, it's emotional and you'll love it! featuring: the Wheelers and Jonathan.

landslide by chamb3rs | 49k words | UD happened, but not heavily mentioned. They're in High School " [...] Will knows the day when he will have to detach himself is coming fast, but here in this basement, where nothing has changed in over a decade, time seems to have come to a screeching halt. It’s just the two of them, sat in the last place they were innocent together.

“Yeah,” Will whispers, “I’m okay.”

or; The Party's senior year of high school, in ebbs and flows." Another fic about the party's senior year of High School! there can never be too many, they're all different and unique. This is a long one that I read during one sleepless night. I don't regret it at all. It has the party as great friends, which i love reading about! Mike and Will's friendship is so special here, too, and we see them struggle with the pain of growing up, figuring out who you are, what you want, and fearing for the future. Will and Mike's friendship goes through ups and downs and misunderstandings, but there's always a chance to fix it and make it stronger. The confession scene here took my breath away, something that doesn't happen easily while i'm reading.

love in slow motion by astrobi | 29k words | They're HS seniors! "Honestly, Mike doesn't know what he thought being Will Byers' fake-boyfriend would entail, but he definitely didn't think it would involve this many ugly Christmas sweaters." Another fake dating fic, and by astrobi! This one has a hilarious premise: Mike finds out the party is betting when they'll finally them they're dating. The thing is, they're not really dating (yet). So, Mike, so is upset and thinks they have no right to assume when they just have a really close friendship, tells Will they should pretend and ruin their bet. It doesn't go as expected, of course.

eyecatcher by smoosnoom (moonsooms) | 9k words | canon compliant, post s4 “Nah, man,” Lucas shakes his head, leaning back as he snacks on an apple, “he got, like, buff. Do you see his arms?” Mike does, in fact, see Will’s arms. He has not stopped seeing his arms. “She definitely sees his arms,” Dustin very unhelpfully points out, waggling his eyebrows, and Mike gets the overwhelming urge to bash his own head in.

While volunteering at the Hawkins' help center, it seems like every girl around has a newfound interest in Will Byers, and Mike doesn't know why he feels the way he does. People are interested in Will. Mike doesn't like it. This fic is from Mike's pov, and features him being jealous, that's all you need to know!

To Hell and Back Again by perexcri | 144k words | canonverse "After Mike unwittingly stumbles into a series of interpersonal bombshells, he immediately sets out to find Will so he can find out what, exactly, that painting meant, and why Will lied about it. Unfortunately, Mike is obsessively obstinate and relentless to a fault, and he'll go to the literal ends of the earth to get the answers he needs.

Or: Mike and Will's Apocalypse Romcom Spectacular" APOCALYPSE BYLER FIC! It's also a LONG one, so you'll experience a rollercoaster of emotions. Another must read, definitely.

i was going to make a joke about time travel but nobody laughed by iry | On-going fic | canonverse, but with several twists "At 16, Will Byers thought nothing could surprise him anymore, but he didn’t take time travel into account. Now he’s stuck on the other side of his infamous disappearance, trying to herd his twelve-year-old friends into planning a rescue mission for… himself?

Meanwhile, Mike Wheeler is having a crisis. Multiple crises actually, but the current and most important one is finding Will Byers who claims he's from the future after Mike just saw Will Byer’s dead body getting pulled out of the lake." This one, guys, this one. It was written as part of the byler big bang, so even if it is not completed yet, I encourage all of you to read it. It has several chapters already written, and they'll be posted soon! 12 year old Mike meets 16 year old Will, who was sent back to the past, and more specifically, the date of his disappearance for a mysterious reason. So Will has to work with the younger version of his friends to solve what is happening. Meanwhile, 16 year old Mike has his own Situation going on.

And.... that's it for now, guys. Wait for part 3! If you have any fic rec yourself please come to my ask box and tell me! I'm always looking for more works to read.

Lastly, I'm inviting all of you who enjoy writing fics and making art to apply as contributors (artists/writers or merch artists) for The Paladin and The Cleric, a Byler charity zine. I'm a Mod for the event and believe me, it'll turn out amazing and we have a group of very talented artists and writers already, but we still have many available spots!

[killerskillercaptain]

Forget Me Not - part II

this work is based on this request by anon

pairing : levi ackerman x reader

wc : 1037

themes : reincarnation au, canonverse to modern au, Levi and Reader both reincarnate in modern au, Levi remembers his past life, reader does not.

warnings : mention of car accident

a/n : everyone is reincarnated here, enjoy !

"Thank goodness you're awake !" said the small young woman entering the room.

She spoke with a soft voice, her hair was a candid ginger color and her eyes were big and bright but full of concern for you.

"How are you feeling doctor ?"

Doctor ?

Oh right, you remembered now, this is the hospital you work at, that's why the room felt familiar, this was one of those rooms were patients would rest after a surgery, you just never actually laid down in one of those beds. You still didn't recall how you found yourself here but you remembered the name of the young woman standing in front of you with a worried look.

"Petra, how did i get here ? What happened ?"

Petra's eyes grew bigger with worry, as if she didn't believe you just asked this question. You always liked her, she was younger than you, and just an intern but she was sharp, efficient, well-mannered and you remember you were impressed by how much recommendation letters she had when she first got here. She also showed a lot of respect to the hierarchy, which is something you appreciated.

"You got hit by a car"

"Really ?" you barely remembered.

"Yes, apparently you were crossing the street when that happened, but it's nothing serious really, you just had a concussion, you were conscious when Oruo and Gunther from the emergency service brought you up here, you must have slept that's all"

You listened only partly to her explanation, pain still shooting through your head.

You couldn't remember the said accident but everything came back to you slowly : you were a surgeon at the Maria Hospital, you lived alone in an appartement on a main avenue and Petra was your intern.

Still holding your head and groaning, you tried to get up.

"Maybe you should rest a little more doctor !" said Petra nervously.

"No, i'm okey, i just need some aspirin and coffee and i'll be back on track. You talked about a concussion, did you do an x-ray ?"

"Yes, everything is fine don't worry"

"Great"

Putting your slippers on, you managed to walk out of the room, making a bee line to the coffee machine tucked in the corner of your service. Pushing some coins down the machine's insides, you heard the familiar clicking of money then another mechanical echo followed by the sound of hot liquid being poured down.

You picked up the cup and let the steam overwhelm you for a moment, drowning the usual background noise of the hospital.

One, two, three. You counted down before opening your eyes again and allowing your senses to take in your surroundings : chatter, cries, the sound of things rolling around, feet shuffling in every direction, and overwhelmed nurses answering the phone.

****

It was 5 pm when you got out of the hospital, you decided to go home early today to get some rest, but also because Petra couldn't stop telling you to. You swung your cardigan over your shoulder, fixed your hair, did a quick stop by the toilet, grabbed a bottle of water at the same coffee machine and stepped foot outside.

It was the beginning of fall, and you enjoyed the shy breeze caressing your face softly, pushing aside some strands of hair. Looking for your car, you suddenly remembered you didn't drive it to come to work today, you had decided to walk instead. You mentally thought that maybe if you had taken your car as usual you wouldn't have been hit by a car. But who knows, maybe if you drove here you would still have gotten hit by the same car, the universe does play some tricks on you sometimes.

With doubled precaution, you were about tot cross streets when you noticed some police cars with their flickering lights and two cars, a red and a black one. The black car had hit the red one from behind and crashed its bumper on it. Petra did say that you got hit by a red car, so it must be that one. You approached the group of people looking at the scenery, and upon hearing what was being gossiped, you understood that the vehicles were still here because the police took ages to come.

The man who apparently was the driver of the red car that hit you was standing, holding his head in his hand as a police officer-very short in stature and visibly pissed-was scribbling something on a note.

More and more people passing by were stopping to watch the scene, which lead to more chatter.

"Tsk ! shut up" said the short policeman, probably more pissed at the commotion than the car crash.

The driver who hit you, suddenly recognized you and his face changed its expression quickly.

"Miss ! Miss ! Hey miss ! You're completely fine right ?"

This threw you off guard and you felt like you were being put on the spot, with so many eyes darting toward you now.

"Y-yes, i'm alright."

"See ? See officer ! She has nothing ! It wasn't that big of an accident !"

But the officer wasn't listening to him anymore, he was looking at you with an intensity that made you uncomfortable, he stared at you with wide eyes and an expression you couldn't quite decipher. He almost looked...shocked to see you.

What's wrong with him looking at me like that. You thought

"She's completely fine officer ! I didn't cause any more harm, so could you ease up a little bit-"

This snapped the short man out of whatever he was in, interrupting the driver.

"You don't get to tell me how i do my work asshole" he spit back at the driver.

Wow, he's so rude, and so angry. You thought, shocked and amused at the same time by his attitude.

You decided you had nothing to do here anymore and turned around.

Once the drivers parted ways, and all legal formalities were done, most of the police cars were gone, except for one vehicle.

The short police officer was still standing right where the collision happened, looking at spot where you were just a minute ago before disappearing inside the crowd. His arms hanging on each side of his body, still baffled

"I finally found you"

part II, next : part III

[chaoslynx]

What future fics/events can we expect to see? Every time I check the AshEiji tags on AO3, you're works always pop up on the first page. It's like you have endless content for Banana Fish lol

my Banana Fish fan content plans!

Oh my gosh, so first of all, I am SO sorry for always spamming ao3. I truly do feel bad for posting so much since it's a lot harder to like ... block authors on ao3 than on social media?

BUT to answer your question!! Here's a few of the potential things I have planned for this fandom 🥰 Can't promise they'll all happen, but this is everything on my list.

multi chapter fic plans

model and photographer au -- Ash is a model at an agency Dino owns, and Eiji is a contract photographer. Split asheiji POV! Shorter is Ash's makeup artist and Sing is his assistant. Yut-Lung is another model at the agency and is pissed at Ash for always sabotaging him and never giving anyone else a chance to climb the ranks. Jessica is a fashion reporter (supposedly at least)! I'm about 12 chapters into this one, so I'll probably start posting it this week!

coffee shop au -- don't get your hopes up; this one is angsty too. Eiji is a barista at a 24/7 coffee shop! Ash winds up there at 3am one day after running away from Dino. I'm about 11 chapters into this one I think? but it's on hold right now :(

angel of death au -- very much a wip; everything here may change. Only about two chapters into this one! Shorasheiji end game! [murder cw for the rest of this summary.] Basically established asheiji; Eiji dies in the first chapter, and angel of death Shorter comes to escort him to the afterlife. Ash, however starts uhhh killing everyone who had to do with Eiji's death to get revenge, AND when Shorter shows up to try to escort Ash's victims to the afterlife, Ash keeps trying to bargain with Shorter to get Eiji back. Anyway they all fall in love by the end 🥰

romeo and juliet au -- haven't actually started this one yet, but 👀 right???

non-silly vampire au -- because you all requested it lol

oneshot fic plans

these are all a lot more vague, and none of them have been started yet!

more romantic shroash in addition to my usual platonic shorash -- specifically thinking some precanon established shorash hurt/comfort

stuff with everyone trying to talk to Ash after Shorter dies. Exploration of grief. Discussion of Shorter and Griff from Ash POV

Kong/Bones fic! Maybe something about when Bones joins Ash's gang. Probably going to have Bones be a trans man and clinging onto Kong as like the "how to be a guy" friend lol

disordered eating fic (again. want to do it better this time)

thinking about MAYBE doing a fic exploring sh/suicidal ideation with the bfish characters. I know I did this with Water but I want to do it in canonverse!

wanna get back to my roots with Ash trying to come onto people for the wrong reasons again

drawing plans

I want to go back to my doodles for each episode!

asheiji "no pickles" meme (guess who's who lol)

more emojis for Discord pals!

finish that darn animatic (or give up and post the first half of the song)

something of the gang!

lots of background practice; maybe a whole "series" of pre-canon asheiji in various locations around their hometowns

Jess and Michael ...

I want to draw my own Banana Fisht tattoo so I can get one!

animation of asheiji kissing hehe

events???

Tell me about events and I will join them if I'm interested and have time!! All I have planned right now is like one Instagram dtiys I think? I'd also like to maybe do some more art and fic collabs with people in the future!

Ask Me Anything!

[braindeadmaggot]

9. If you could eat any devil fruit, which one would you eat (and why)?

10. If you could join one crew or organization, which would it be?

Pardon the delay. I saw this on mobile notes, got distracted and couldn't find the inbox on my phone LOL I'm so out of touch...

9. If you could eat any devil fruit, which one would you eat (and why)?

I'd honestly rather not eat one because swimming is the only form of exercise I allow myself to conduct in other than weightlifting and I am WAY TOO LAZY to pick that up again (all though I should). But for the sake of the ask.......

Maybe the Sube Sube no Mi (Alvida's fruit). I have pretty mild(?) body dysphoria and would like to think that this fruit would give me back some self confidence but I realize how vain and unhealthy that it... though just a thought

The Hana Hana no Mi also because - as aforementioned - I am of the sloth persuasion and anything to increase my laziness is always welcome. Plus I can crochet, knit, cross stitch, sew, draw, write, clean, cook, whittle, teach and feed my million dogs so much faster. I could even cut my own hair straight without a dozen mirrors. It's just such an efficient fruit. I have so many WIPs rn that have been on hold for nearly a decade. This fruit would help so much, and I think if I cloned myself and ran just ONE mile, the calories would triple and maybe I'd get healthier faster (Just using the fruit and making extra limbs I think burns a lot of calories which is why one of my headcanons is that Robin eats just as much as Zoro and Usopp, she just has impeccable dining etiquette). Frightening how that also was related to my body.

Only other fruit I can imagine giving up swimming for is any flying Zoan type. Maybe Karasu's? It allows him (and his clothes???) to turn into a murder of crows. How fucking badass is that shit???

10. If you could join one crew or organization, which would it be?

Okay so Kid Pirates I wanted to think about this seriously Kid Pirates and mull over all the possible groups out there Kid Pirates. I'd love to be a KID pirate because I love the sea and boats (hate the sun and sand though so..... dono how that will work). Don't want to be a marine, I didn't join the Air Force for a reason. That reason would have been tenfold in canonverse. I don't delve into politics to Revos not an option. I hate money and power so never a celestial, I'd rather be like Dadan and live on a mountain with a bunch of chickens and be done with it.

Aesthetically, I think I'd fit in with Kid Pirates either the Beast pirates or Hawkins crew. Attitude wise, I think I'd fare well in Buggy's company tho while I do enjoy the Kid Pirates circus and clowns, I don't think I would be able to contribute to the crew; I don't perform. At all. Maybe I'll just be Kid Pirate there to feed Richie iuno... I'll cook egg rolls every day~

Honestly Kid Pirates, without Brook Kid Pirates, I think I would hate being in the Straw Hat crew. Being around Sanji and Franky would probably piss me off to no end. I love Kid Pirates them as characters but for the love of all things good, I never want to meet either of them in RL. Usopp and Zoro I can handle (I have a Zoro in my life, he's a pain but fine) but the only ones to keep me sane would be Kid Pirates Usopp and Brook.

I think I'll just pick Kid Pirates Dadan and live on a mountain.

[corvus--rex]

I noticed you write a lot of omega Keith and I can't help but wonder if that's maybe a reason you can't seem to work on OLIP.

Maybe not. But if that's the case and you'd rather work on other stories or you, right now, feel more inspired writing omega Keith stories that's ok.

Write what you wanna write and if one day you wanna write different stories so be it.

This ask isn't meant to offend or be rude, I just had to ask and if I over stepped I'm sorry. I guess the bottom line is write what you wanna write, even if you have other wips with 5k, 10k, 20k words done and you wanna start another one because that's what's inspiring your creativity at the moment do it!

This isn't rude or offensive at all! But you're not wrong, I do seem to favor writing Keith as an omega, even though when it comes to these two, I really feel like it can go either way. I think it may have something to do with him becoming more vulnerable and being forced to let his walls down and people in...eventually. It's interesting to see how he'd react in different situations when he has no choice but to let someone in. That and he's my feral chew toy that I like to poke with a stick.

I'd say that you may have a point when it comes to OLIP, but I've been having the same roadblock with Here Come the Vultures and The Sound of Color as well (and Dormiveglia), and they both have omega Keith. HCTV has been particularly hard as I have the entire next story arc planned out. I know exactly what's going to happen, who's involved, and what the outcome will be. I started a second oneshot for it (concurrent with Scarlet), but it's a bit heavy, so I've been having some trouble with it just on that.

I have been hyperfixated on an angst plot bunny that won't let up for almost a week now, and I'm loving working on it. It oddly enough also is an omegaverse with omega Keith, in a canonverse that took a hairpin left turn so I could clean out canon's house and rearrange all the furniture. I have things in my notes that I'm almost certain will never come up, but they're there all the same.

But I think one of my biggest frustrations, besides the Sisyphean writer's block, is that I haven't stopped writing at all, I just haven't been able to finish anything, so it looks like I've abandoned my fics. I haven't, and I won't, they are my children and I love them. I also don't really talk about what I'm working on - I have co-morbid adhd and autism in case anyone didn't know - and I will just infodump, which of course, makes me feel like I'm irritating whoever I'm talking to. (That said, if anyone out there doesn't mind spoilers and wants to hear about my plotting and planning, you can just message me whenever, I always want to talk about my fics)

I have done a few oneshots while working on longer fics, and I know I'll continue to do it whenever I have a Thought™ that asks politely to be written or beats me until I give in and do it. My wips folder is *full* of things I've started. Some I may finish, some were just to scratch a particular brain itch and aren't something I could expand on beyond a piece of a partial scene or a bit of an outline.

I'll always be writing. For now - and the foreseeable future - it will definitely be klance, (I actually tried to go back to a couple ocs from a fandom I was in very, very many years ago and couldn't get past a couple paragraphs bc it just wasn't klance), and there will definitely be more oneshots when my writer brain demands it.

[rivangel]

Hello my friend and I am here for your very lovely valentine's day event!! <3

[Context: Set in canonverse, Levi is the captain of his squad and I am a squad leader of my own squad, and we've been together for about three years. We're both busy with preparations for the next expedition and we haven't really had some couple time alone, so I got Levi a gift as a surprise and I left it on his desk along with a letter.]

Hey there sweetie.

Surprise! I bet you weren't expecting this. I know I could have passed you this letter in person, but somehow we just kept missing each other, whether it was during mealtimes, or even after trainings.

I could have told you this in person too, but then I feel like putting down my feelings on pen and paper would be a better option.

I know you're busy with preparations for the expedition and busy training the others. And I can't believe I'm hearing this from Petra, but she told me she woke up at 4am once and saw the lights in your office still on. Please tell me you're getting enough sleep, or I will speak to Commander Erwin on my own private capacity and demand him to lessen your workload.

All I want to say is... I miss you a lot, Levi. I miss our evening talks and late night rendezvous. I miss feeling your hand in mine as we stargaze by the field. I miss hearing you whisper sweet nothings into my ear as we cuddle on your bed, listening to your fireplace cackling and slowly falling asleep.

I know this is a busy period for all of us, and time is precious. But, am I being selfish for wanting to spend time alone with you?

Anyway, I got you some new tea sachets. They're chamomile and lavender, enough to last you for a long time. I hope the tea calms you down when you're feeling frustrated, and I hope they help you to sleep and dream better too. Also, I hope that whenever you drink these teas, you'll think of me like how I'm thinking of you.

In case you can't tell already, I miss you, Levi, and I love you. I can't wait for this expedition to be over. I'm looking forward to feeling you in my arms again, my love.

Yours,

Rei

P/S: The stars look really lovely tonight, don't you agree? I'll be at the horse stables if you want to find me.

this is so sweet :(( thank u for submitting! i hope u like it :) in a 3-year long relationship, levi would be so soft - i hope that comes across in his letter 🥰

i think your song is lovers rock by tv girl

Rei, my love,

Long time no see. I have to say, running around like a chick with its head cut off isn’t the same when I’m alone without you beside me.

It’s true that there’s been a lot to get done, so I’ve been working later than usual. But that’s more productive than laying awake at all hours of the night. What can I say? You have a hold over me. I don’t sleep well alone anymore—if I ever did in the first place.

There’s no need to complain on my behalf, sweetheart. You do plenty for me already. I can throw enough fits to Erwin for the both of us, but he has his own shit to do, as usual. If I’ve been overworking, I don’t think there’s ever a time he isn’t running himself into the ground. However, you won’t hear any complaints from me if you join me in bed tonight.

I’d ask you not to worry, but I know that works with everyone but you. In truth, I’m thankful for it, for this tea, and beyond all else: you. Thank you, always.

Really, this much tea is expensive. I hope you didn’t blow all your money on me, it’s not something I deserve. It should be the other way around if anything, which is why I’m asking you to share it with me. As soon as possible. Sharing everything with you is better than enjoying it alone, which goes tenfold for having tea, besides eating, sleeping, and even staring at the sky—just about any other asinine thing you could imagine—it just sounds like a chore without you these days.

I’ve caught myself looking up several times when I realize you aren’t there, especially later at night. Maybe the lack of adequate rest, or all the tasks that need to get done is driving me crazy. When I do sleep, I prefer to be on your side of the bed. I want to go to sleep holding you again.

So, and this definitely goes without saying, I’m looking forward to this expedition being over as well, my love.

Time is precious, you’re right, and circumstances have stolen a ton of shit away from everyone—which is why I’ll be selfish enough for the both of us, if that’s alright with you.

See you soon.

Yours,

Levi

P.S. Of course they are, they've always been. I’ll stare up at them with you for as long as it makes you happy.

For my V-Day event: Pop a love letter to your favorite aot character into my inbox, and receive one back!

[stealing-jasons-job]

fic writer interview

Tagged by @burninghoneyatdusk and @andromedabennet — thank you, my loves ❤️

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

24 (but 25 will be posted this week, if this smut scene will cooperate)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

204, 782

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Two — mostly Bellarke, but one Gendrya. I'm hoping to start posting Darklina, Zutara, Helnik, Darknik (Dark Daddy + Nina), and maybe Chenford if I ever escape the hellscape that is my Bellarke prompt list. lol

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Intertwining your soul (with somebody else): Rated E. Canonverse AU where Bellamy is heda. He's supposed to marry Gina to solidify the coalition, but him and Clarke are in love with each other. A fuckton of angst ensues. This is a WIP, only a few chapters shy of being completed! This fic is definitely my baby, so I'm really excited that the response has been so great.

But if this man came up to me: Rated T. Modern AU. Clarke and Bellamy accidentally go TikTok famous... and fall in love in the process.

Darling you and me, we can take the world: Rated E. S7 Spec where they torture Clarke with M-Cap and Bellamy finally breaks. Yk... back when we had hope for a Bellarke endgame for this godforsaken show.

The Choices We Make: Rated M currently, but it'll be E by the end. Greys Anatomy AU. This was my very first WIP posted, and it's on hiatus right now while I write my @t100fic-for-blm prompts. But I still love it and can't wait to be able to dedicate more time to it eventually.

Whatever may come, your heart I will choose: Rated M. The post-S7 AU we all deserved with the perfect dash of angst, a good bit of fluff, and a happy fucking ending. Oh, and a jab or two at Jason for funsies.

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to! Usually, it's in batches, but some slip through the cracks. But just know that I love every single comment I get, and I am so very happy anyone deigns to read my shit. lol

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Probably the original ending for @wreck-jroth-club. After some debate with the broader group, I decided to add an extra chapter that was a continuation of the final chapter that actually ended happily. But originally that fic had a very bittersweet ending.

I've flip-flopped a lot on whether to end Intertwining your souls happily or not. But I think @burninghoneyatdusk might actually murder me in my sleep if I don't end it happily, so idk if I'll follow through on that. lol

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't written one to date, but I do have one planned and on my prompt list! It'll be a Queen of the South/The 100 crossover where Jeresa are... well, Jeresa, and Bellarke are DEA agents trying to take them down. Lots of angst. Some smut. All the pining. Maybe a happy ending, but likely not for one of those ships.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

None. But I also haven't really written anything the Bellarke fandom would consider controversial (read: I've never dared to have Bellarke sleep with anyone else or written their relationship as that messy).

I'm sure it's only a matter of time, though.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, though most of my fics are more T or M. Smut is something I struggle with from a writing perspective, so on prompts that don't require smut, I tend to just fade to black. But my WIPs pretty much all either do or will include smut.

I don't know what kind of smut I write. It's just...smut. Sometimes kinky. Sometimes more vanilla. Always orgasmic for the characters involved. lol

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, but honestly who knows? A few of my friends have had fics plagiarized or stolen (a couple even within the Bellarke fandom, which seems like a stupid move but bitches out here be bold, ig), so I wouldn't be shocked if a stolen fic of mine lives somewhere.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone has translated one of my fics into Russian for a different fansite, but I think that's it!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

If you count the @wreck-jroth-club fic collab, yes! And @writetheniteaway and I have a co-written fic prompt coming up for @slyth-princess soon.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Bellarke is really the only ship I've written fanfic for or been involved in the fandom, but my actual OTP is Cammie/Zach from The Gallagher Girls series.

A few other heavy-hitters include: Bellarke (The 100), Braimie (Game of Thrones), Jess x Rory (Gilmore Girls), Japril (Grey's Anatomy), Jem x Tessa (Infernal Devices), Darknik (Grishaverse), LoVe (Veronica Mars), Josh x Donna (The West Wing), Danny x CJ (The West Wing), Garcy (Timeless), Zutara (ATLA)

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

My Timeless AU. I'm actually going to take it down and convert it into a Darklina fic. So the idea will live on, but not as Bellarke.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Writing within a canon storyline. I'd like to think I'm pretty good at taking characters and staying true to who they are in canon through my writing.

I am also an ideas person. So outlining plots, coming up with prompts, workshopping plots...those are things I really enjoy and am good at.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I have many, but here are the top three. lol

Worldbuilding: You'll notice my larger fics are almost all either canonverse or an AU of an existing show/movie/book — both of which require minimal worldbuilding on my part.

Imagery: I write fic, but I'm a TV writer at heart. If you want beautiful prose that describes what's happening through the character's 5 senses, I am not ya girl. lol

WIPs: Anyone who has ever read any of my shit knows I take a million years to complete anything (and I greatly appreciate everyone who has refrained from beating me with a stick at my sporadic update schedule). I tend to hyperfixate on projects or ideas, and jumping from WIP to WIP to update gets hard.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think there's a place for it, but it has to be done respectfully and for a reason — showing a cultural difference/language barrier, keeping your POV character or your audience in the dark on something being discussed, showing your character's culture/heritage/background (example: When Jane and Abuela argue in Spanish in Jane the Virgin).

But in fic/writing, either you need to work in the translation naturally in the surrounding text, give obvious context clues to the meaning of whatever you've put in the other language, or you need to purposefully not want your audience to know what was being said. If you have to put a footnote with the translation, you're risking taking your readers out of the story.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

First written was Gendrya from Game of Thrones. First published was Belalrke from The 100.

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

We are all caught in the in between (Of what's real and what's a dream?): The @wreck-jroth-club collab fic.

This fic was a labor of love by @sparklyfairymira, myself, and so many writers/creators in the Bellarke fandom. And I'm incredibly proud not only of the way we collaborated in this massive undertaking of brainstorming, organizing, writing, editing, creating moodboards for, and then publishing the 55-chapter fic, but also of the broader story told throughout this collab.

I came up with the premise of the fic; wrote the first chapter, final epilogues, a few of the chapters themselves, and every intro for each chapter; and helped with the overall organization of the collab. It's definitely the best thing I've written, and the fic I'm most proud of so far.

——

Tagging: @sparklyfairymira | @eyessharpweaponshot | @pawprinterfanfic | @nakey-cats-take-bathsss | @icantloseyou-too | @bookwormforalways | @carrieeve | @arysafics | @writetheniteaway + anyone else who wants to join!

[friday-night-unknown]

Questions undercut

Masterpost ▾ Inbox ▾ Main ▾ Discord

"𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮?"

I'm Azeria! I'm turning 18 this December. My main blog is @azeriaa and I uses she/her/he/him pronouns. She/her is mostly preferred.

⊱────────⋅o⋅────────⊰

"𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡?"

That is up to your interpretation. :]

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"𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐅𝐍���?"

Mod is discontinued. However, a big chance I'll make it into a comic or an animation series. However, that depend on how much free time I have.

Either that or... We'll work on the mod once again but that'll depend on the situation of the studio. Or I could find new people to work on the mod with instead with the studio I'm in right now. But for now, the answer is no.

⊱────────⋅o⋅────────⊰

"𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 '𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭' 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲?"

There will be only non-canon and semi-canon OC/self-insert only.

There are no guidelines on how you want to make your OC/self-insert for now. Go wild! You can always fix your character when there's a change in the lore.

⊱────────⋅o⋅────────⊰

"𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐧-𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭?"

All OC/self-insert exist in a different timeline than the one set in the canonverse. You are allowed to make ship-childs/shippings except those that implied pedopilic and incest.

⊱────────⋅o⋅────────⊰

"𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐢-𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭?"

Semi-canon means parts of the concept are accepted as canon. It is up to you if you deemed semi-canon self-inserts as 'canon' or 'not canon'.

To make it into semi-canon, make sure your character doesn’t affect the present time a lot AKA a background character. Examples of semi-canon characters are Pandora (Hexagon's co-creator) and Serenity (Rav's familiar).

Do not bash on the original creator of the characters if they're not to your liking.

⊱────────⋅o⋅────────⊰

"𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨 𝐈 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐬?"

There is no guidelines as to how do you want your OC/self-inserts to be but please have a bit of common sense as well and not making a Mary Sue character.

Once you are done making your characters, you are free to mention me on Discord server (BUT DO NOT DM ME) or posted it on Tumblr and tag me in it or send it into my mailbox. It is most likely your submission will be responded late so please have patience in me.

If I didn't reblog your self-insert, please don't be upset. Sometimes I didn't see it or I saw it but I forgot to reblog or various other reason that I do not wish to talk about it.

⊱────────⋅o⋅────────⊰

"𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐅𝐍𝐔?"

Go wild child. I can’t control people from shipping what they like anyway.

The only thing is no NSFW between minors and no ships including pedophilic/incest.

NOTE: Hex and BF is an exception.

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"𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤/𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐅𝐍𝐔 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬?"

Yes you may but do not tag me.

My only condition is no pedophilic/incest ships and no NSFW media of minor characters.

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"𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐞?"

Nothing happened, at the same time a lot of things happened. Like the Schrodinger's cat.

⊱────────⋅o⋅────────⊰

"𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐤𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬?"

Yes but don't tell me about it. But if you are a system and you have that fictive, that's a different case. I would love to meet them though but no pressure.

⊱────────⋅o⋅────────⊰

"𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐒𝐰𝐚𝐩 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐔𝐧𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐧?"

It is a public AU. I give it away to the community, you can brainstorm do whatever you want with it but do not claim it as your own AU.

Yes you may make tumblr blogs and kin them I don't care.

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"𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝐈 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐅𝐍𝐔?"

Yes. But make sure to not claim that character as your own and credit me for it.

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"𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐅𝐍𝐔 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐭?"

Yes. Just don't push me to make it canon.

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"𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐅𝐍𝐔?"

You can't. Unless you are a close friend of mine. If you want to make an existing characters(Carol e.g.) that isn't yours and is well-known by the community. Please discuss with me before making any move, and even though you have put a lot of efforts into said character, there is still a chance for me to reject their concept. It is my AU.

Of course, I only let close friends contribute characters.

However, you're always free to brainstorm about a character that isn't in the FNU without pushing me to buy your ideas! I love seeing other's creativity.

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"𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 ??? 𝐛𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐅𝐍𝐔? 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐮𝐭 ??? 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐅𝐍𝐔? ??? 𝐅𝐍𝐔 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧?

⊱────────⋅o⋅────────⊰

Man, I don't know. You could try your hands on the characters, maybe I'll get my inspiration from it, who knows.

[daring-elm]

Dear Roman

Letters left Unsent

Setting: Canonverse

Genre: Angst

Ships: Platonic Royality; Platonic (D)LAMP

Words: 703

—

Dear Princey,

I was super happy to see you in the video today!! You and Logic are so fun; we should really hang out more!! Let's make dinner together! Do you like pasta? I have a great recipe!!!

See you soon!!!

Love,

Morality

—

Dear Roman,

Congratulations on telling Thomas your name!! You're doing great, kiddo, proud of you!! I had a lot of fun in the video today; always nice to bust out daydream mode, LOL :)

Until the next video!!

Lots of love,

Morality ♡

—

Dear Roman,

You handled stuff with Virgil well today. I know it hasn't been easy for either of you, but you're giving him a chance and I appreciate that so much (and I'm sure he does too). Don't worry, you'll always be my hero.

I love you!

Patton ♡

—

Dear Roman,

Things have been hard. The breakup was hard for all of us (except Logan, maybe) but you're moving us forward and I can't thank you enough. I love you for the wonderful prince you are, and I hope you know that you're never alone.

Sorry I can't say this out loud, I guess. I get my words all jumbled up when I try to say things and then I end up not saying things at all. The letters are easier.

Also sorry for not sending this one, or any of the others. I guess some letters don't deserve to be sent.

Love,

Patton

—

Dear Roman,

Gosh, Deceit sure is something, isn't he? :)

Sorry I couldn't be there, hope he didn't spook you all too much, the creepy cookie. Thank goodness we have such a strong prince to fend him off, huh?

Proud of you :)

Love,

Patton

—

Dear Roman,

I love you! I love you so much and I'm sorry you can't always see it. I'm so worried all the time; I'm worried about Logan because he won't talk to me; I'm worried about Virgil and I feel like I haven't really talked to you in ages. It's all so much and I'm trying so hard, but I guess some effort isn't rewarded. That's okay, though, I have all of you and I'll do my best to keep our famILY close together!!

I love you and I'm sorry you feel bad and you're amazing, Roman, and I hope that you can see it one day.

Love,

Patton

—

Dear Roman,

I feel like I'm breaking in half. I don't know what to do because Deceit was wrong, right? Thomas is a good person. He has to be, because otherwise I don't know what to do.

You were so good today. I'm sorry if I was too harsh; I really really didn't mean it. I was just so scared and I needed some control and

Wow, that sounds really bad, huh? :) I think you believe in me more than you should, kiddo. I'm not sure I'm in the right anymore.

I love you,

Patton

—

Dear Roman,

Remus is scarier than I remembered

I don't know what I'm doing wrong

I try so hard but I always fail you all

I miss seeing you happy

I

—

Dear Roman,

I'm sorry I don't have the answers you thought I did. I'm sorry I tried too hard not to let De Janus take over. I'm sorry I told you he's bad; I didn't know and I still don't know and I don't think I ever will.

I'm sorry you don't believe me when I say I love you. I'm sorry I try to keep things hidden from you and from Thomas and from everything else. I'm sorry it doesn't work.

You used to smile so wide, remember? You used to laugh and get excited when we'd do videos. You used to look forward to talking to us.

Remember when you wrote Logan's Christmas present? You told me about it while you worked, and you hoped so much that he would like it and I know he still does. Your mind is amazing, kiddo, it just goes to the wrong to places I can't follow and I'm worried you get hurt in there.

I love you, Roman.

(You don't have to say it back.)

Sincerely,

Patton

[rose-coloured-prince]

When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?

Pairing: Platonic Prinxiety, Platonic Logicality - Canonverse

Word Count: 1,242 words - One Shot

Summary: Roman pushed himself up off the ground and struggled to materialize his sword in an imagination that was no longer his.

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Character Death, Fighting, Betrayal, I think that is it lemme know if anything else

---

“Stop! This isn’t like you!” Roman yelled even though he was only a couple feet away. His fingers were cold from fear. His stomach twisted and turned as the fog died around him.

“You clearly don’t know me.” Virgil didn’t turn around but the smile on his face could be heard. The fog started to grow again covering the white ground of the imagination.

“I know you! I know a lot about you, Virgil!” Roman stepped forward, cold fingers clenching. He tried to regain something. The tiniest amount of control, or a feeling.

“Oh really?” Virgil turned this time. Eyebrow quirked.

"I know how it took you exactly 6 weeks to complete your hoodie, or how… I know you love sitting on the ground in the kitchen as Patton is cooking and how you say no everytime I ask you to watch a Disney movie with me but still lay with me on the couch and watch anyway. Oh! I know your favourite Disney movie is The Nightmare Before Christmas and that you have posters of the movie in your room that you would never, no matter how much I ask, give them to me. Not because you want them yourself more than… rather because you like seeing my reaction. You tease me about it and I'll pout. I know-"

Virgil waved his hand then crossed his arms, "Yeah, yeah… I get it. You don't need to get all sappy and-"

“I know you used to act so tough!" Virgil's mouth snapped closed. "You still do sort of but… for a different reason. We never listened to you. 'Just ignore him maybe he'll go away.' We… I hated you. You acted so cold and mean to get us to be scared, to get us to listen and I mean it worked! B-but This- This is different than that, Virge.” There was a small pleading to his voice. His paused for a second as Virgil's gaze flickered between Roman's eyes.

Roman inhales, "I know you would throw yourself in front of a train, a bullet just to save all of us. Hell! Just one of us." He pauses and then starts again. Every word slowly slipping from between his lips. "I know that you know that… you could do something like… this. But you know you never would...because it would absolutely kill you if you hurt one of us."

Virgil stood there, eyebrows furrowed, frown on his lips. Breathing slightly heavier than normal.

Stepping forward once more, "Virgil, please." Roman said, mimicking the others expression in sympathy and in his own feeling of fear.

He looked to the side. He looked away. For a moment. Then, his breathing slowed and something unnoticeable fluttered over his expression. "Ro," he mutters, just enough to be heard. He looks back at him. His dour face had a rough edge to it that it didn't have initially, not that Roman noticed.

"Come back, don't do this." Pleading.

He kept up his sullen act as he stepped forward. Just enough to softly grab Roman's sash. Roman had a moment's respite. A moment of relief. He thinks he had him and then Virgil's grip on the blatant fabric tightened. He pulls him down, harshly.

"Ah."

"No." and the word stings like acid. Virgil shoves Roman to the ground. "I mean… why would I ever come back to you guys? You said it yourself… you hated me." You think he would be hurt but he's shining a malicious grin.

Roman watched as his feet left the ground and as the same dark, shadowy fog seeped down from cracks in his fist. He watched. He couldn't do anything about it. He didn't have any power here…

anymore.

Virgil knew that. He caused that.

"This is who I've always been, Princey." He sneers.

Then he disappears but where he went was the last thing on Roman's mind when the clouds of fog weren't just clouds anymore. The were solid and alive.

The black clouds that surrounded him turned into several black… monsters that surrounded him. Roman pushed himself up off the ground and struggled to materialize his sword in an imagination that was no longer his.

He swung forward at one of the monsters in front of him, then at the one next to it. Trying to prevent them from getting too close. He steps back and feels something pulling at his arm. He falls. Being pulled back by the monster behind him. He can't pull away. It's cold and tight like a tar, sucking him in. He knows he's stuck when the monster in front of him starts taking in his foot.

He closes his eyes and sighs, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry Patton. I'm sorry Logan. I'm sorry Thomas." The mass crawls up. Creeping up his body as he prays. It's tight. "I'm sorry.. Virgil," he is able to force out as the mass chokes him and he can no longer see.

--

Pacing, Patton was pacing up and down the hallway in front of Virgil's door. Worried and so many questions, so many images, so many thoughts, running through his head.

He watches his feet take five steps and then he turns, another fives steps and turns back around, another five st- He glances up at Roman's door. His door on the opposite wall and left some bit. "Come on, Ro," Patton whines. He notices it. "LOGAN!" He shrieks. He jolts over to the door. His door… that was fading from top down.

Logan rises up and notices it almost immediately. "Oh." is all he can say.

Patton thoughtlessly pushes down on the door knob and walks into Roman's room. Before Logan can pull him away, He closes the door.

Inside, the room was just like the door. Fading. From the corner of the room farthest from the door in the opposite corner, it started to disappear. From what had already gone, there was…. these colours that's Patton recognized as the outskirts of the mindscape.

He looks around the room, at all of Roman's stuff. Drawings taped to the walls, along with posters of various things, unfinished projects scattered about the floor. Paints some spilled and all, brushes, pencils, crayons, notebooks and sketchbooks also on the floor and spread open on the desk. A thick book rests on the desk. A book Patton recognizes as a photo album, Roman had been putting things in for a while. He rushes over to grab it and then rushes back over to stand in the very exact spot he stood before in front of the door.

He watched as the room disappeared into a mesh of colours and those colours faded into the colours of the outskirts. Every project, every idea, everything Roman's ever owned going with the room. The floor ripped away. It inched closer to Patton. His curiosity getting the best of him, he reaches over into the outskirts, over where the floor ripped away and there was nothing of the room any more. He immediately yanks his hand back as it the outskirts seemed to hurt him.

The edge of the room continued to inch closer and Patton sunk out before it was too late to.

He rose up next to Logan again. He leaned into him and Logan puts his arms around Patton. "What's happening? What does this mean?" He asks, his voice having a small quake to it.

Logan shook his head, "I do not know…"

----

Sorry I'm on mobile and the [[ more ]] thing doesn't work for me so ;u;

I hope you liked my little one shot! I do not plan to co tinue this so... deal with the angst I'm not sorry :)

@cryptidcherrry my angst-loving friend... I hope you enjoy this as you wanted to be tagged in it.

[pickalilywrites]

Idc how long it takes for you to get to this request so I'll leave it here anyway. I see there's a pattern with the ships you write for and get requested to write for. It's mainly Jeankasa, anything involving Jean/Sasha/Connie and sometimes Ereani. Therefore my request is for you to write for a ship that you don't usually do. Whether it's Eremika, Eruri, Reibert, Yumikuri, write whatever ship you want as long as it's not one you usually write for and maybe even one you've never written before.

Eh, it fluctuates depending on the chapters, you know. Although I think the variety of my fics is the best its ever been!

For all the Hilow shippers with all my love. ♡ Please allow me to write for you guys more in the future ^^

All the Words I Should Have Said

Hilow. Canonverse. 

1982 words. 

She wants to believe that it’s a surprise when Marlowe announces that he’s leaving the Military Police for the Survey Corps. He’s always been seeking to make a real change and anyone who wants to accomplish anything doesn’t laze around with the Military Police. If they’re foolish and stupid and brave, they join the Survey Corps where they fight recklessly in the hopes that their deaths will bring humanity closer to freedom. Marlowe is one of those idiots. Hitch, however, is not, which is why she is here saying farewell to the biggest idiot she’s ever known and the only person she’s ever admired.

Hitch twirls one of her curls around her finger, watching as Marlowe packs his few belongings before he leaves. “So I guess you’re really doing it,” she says out loud. She hates how uncaring her voice sounds, but she can’t bring herself to show her true feelings, not when he’s the one leaving her. “I always thought you were secretly too scared to do anything. I guess you weren’t actually just all talk.”

He frowns as he decides what things he’ll bring, what things he’ll throw away. After tossing aside fancy pins and badges that are meant for decoration at military balls, he shoves a belt into his bag – because everyone knows that no matter how much the Survey Corps is being paid or fed, he’s going to lose weight and a lot of it. Finally turning to Hitch, his bag fully packed, he says, “After all this time, you still think I was nothing but a coward? What does that make you when you’re the one who’s going to stay?”

And that’s true enough. She has no intention of sacrificing her life. No one has asked it of her and even if they did, she’d never go. She doesn’t owe anyone anything.

Still, his comment stings and she would lash out at him if it this weren’t the last time they were going to see each other. So what if she’s a coward for staying here and wanting to live? He’s a selfish bastard for leaving her all alone with these vapid people with their vapid thoughts just so he can play hero.

She smiles at him, bitter. “Is that how you want to talk to the only person who’s come to see you off?”

They’re not exactly friends. Now, they’re hardly even allies. But their time together must mean something, right? At least she thought it had, and perhaps he does too because he does look apologetic for what he’s said. He fumbles with his bag, shifting it on and off his shoulder. “I really do appreciate it, you coming here,” he says quietly. He stands there awkwardly, deciding on where to move. For a second, Hitch thinks that he’s moving towards her, that he’ll wrap her in his arms and beg her to tell him to stay. If he does that, she just might, but he doesn’t. He just walks up to her and puts a hand on her shoulder. “Thank you.”

She lets out a breath that she never knew she was holding and she can feel her heart drop in her chest. “Of course,” she says, but he’s already moved on, walking out the door. She can only watch as he walks away from her, never to return. What she says is, “Goodbye.”

What she should have said, “Please don’t leave me.”

She despises the Military Police despite being a part of it. They’re void of any real thoughts or feelings, their heads filled with only their own meaningless desires. When she had first joined the Military Police, she thought she would fit in easily. They don’t care about anyone or anything about themselves. She’s a fool for thinking she could ever be that selfish.

A boy named Trennan leans in too close to her during breakfast. There are crumbs all over his mouth that he hasn’t bothered wiping off. Hitch cringes when he speaks because she sees that he hasn’t finished chewing the food in his mouth. “Hey, whatever happened to that Marlowe guy? Weren’t you two close?” he asks.

Before Hitch can answer, another girl across the table answers for her. “He joined the Survey Corps a while ago,” she says. She’s a plain girl from Stohess. Hitch had thought her boring when they had first joined the Military Police, so she never bothered remembering the girl’s name. “Can you imagine anyone trading this for life to go fooling around with those idiots?”

Those sitting at the table laugh because even though they’ve been putting down the Scouting Legion for years, they haven’t grown tired of it. These boring people with their boring jokes. Hitch can hardly stand to be with them now, and she doesn’t know how she managed to tolerate them before.

She opens her mouth, ready to snap at them for insulting Marlowe when they hardly know him. They just enjoy putting people down to make themselves feel better about their pathetic selves. And she says “them,” but she knows that she was just like them before. She’s such a hypocrite.

She fakes a smile, poking at her food but not actually eating any of it. Feeling nothing but hatred for herself as she laughs along with them, she finds herself saying, “Well, you know Marlowe. He was always an idiot, so I’m sure he’ll feel right at home with them.”

She should have told them that Marlowe is a better man than any of them will ever be.

Marlowe writes letters to her occasionally when he has the time for it, but he never writes often enough, and he never says the things she wants him to say. He only writes to her about the Survey Corps members he’s been getting to know, the ruins of places outside the walls, and the feeling that he’s about to do something great. He never tells her about the missions they go on – that’s classified information after all – or anything especially important. Sometimes he forgets to ask her how she’s doing, only scrawling a “best wishes” at the end of his note.

She feels like a fool for even reading his letters and an even bigger one for rereading them every chance she gets. She’s memorized his handwriting – every dot, every cross, every loop – and traces every stroke with her finger.

Hitch always says she won’t write to him. What’s the point if he might not even read it before he’s…well. But she ends up writing to him anyway every time.

She thinks about telling him her true feelings, her actual feelings. Oh, but only a coward would write a confession instead of saying it out loud in person, and she’s the biggest coward of them all because she won’t write it or say it.

Instead, she writes drafts that all end with the same three words only to hastily scratch them all out again with her pen. By the end of the night, crumpled pieces of paper litter her floor. She’s sure she’ll have to buy another well of ink tomorrow if she keeps this up.

Frustrated and tired, Hitch scribbles her last letter, horribly dissatisfied because she has said nothing she wanted to say.

At the end of her letter are the words “Good luck” followed by her name.

She should have written, “Come back.” But even if she did, he never would.  

Hitch tosses and turns beneath her sheets, slipping in and out of her dreams. People she used to be friends with tell her that she spends too much time in bed. She laughs and jokes about how she’s probably the laziest out of everyone in the Military Police – their work barely consists of anything, but she’d still rather laze around in bed, enjoying the warmth of her blankets. It’s a lie, but they’re stupid enough to believe her.

The truth is, she only sleeps because she can’t bear being awake. All her thoughts eventually come back to the boy who will never return. At least in her dreams, her mind forgets that he ever left. In her dreams, she fantasizes that he’s still here with her. They make fun of the idiots in the Military Police – them included – and they don’t have to worry about the world outside. He can be as idiotically idealistic as he wants, and she can be as stupidly cynical as she wants; they’ll argue and fight each other, but they’ll laugh and smile as well because at least they’ll be together.

It’s always the same when she wakes up. Even the warmth of her thick blankets can’t hide the fact that she’s horribly alone without him. To distract herself, she thinks of what will happen when Marlowe comes home because he has to come home. If he doesn’t…

She conjures up the image of Marlowe, beaten and bruised but still alive. He leans against his new comrades but when he sees her, his face breaks into a smile. When he falls, her arms are the ones that catch him.

Hitch wonders what she says when he comes home. She has multiple options in the back of her mind, ones that she’s tried out in her head over and over, but she always settles on the same words every time. “Welcome back.”

What she should say is “I missed you.”

When the Survey Corps return from Shiganshina, hardly any of them are left. Hitch scours their faces looking for the one she’s been hoping to see, but they all disappoint her. She should go to them, ask them if they have any idea where Marlowe is, but she’s scared of the answer that she might receive. It seems like she was the coward all along.

She doesn’t find out what happened to him until a few days after the Survey Corps have returned. There’s an official military notice stating the outcome of the expedition: the contents of the infamous basement have been recovered, the Colossal Titan has now been captured and under their control, and they had lost all but nine of their soldiers. Marlowe was not included in the nine. There wouldn’t be a formal funeral for any of them – none of the bodies could be recovered – but a ceremony would be performed in honor of those who gave their lives to humanity.

Hitch is the only one from the Military Police to attend the ceremony. After Trost, she never thought she would go to another one of these. She had just shoved it into the back of her mind, promising herself that everything would be fine now that she was safe. Now she knows that everything is hell and there is no point in being safe if everything she cares about is taken away from her.

The fires blaze in front of her, the flame burning only as a symbol because those who had been lost are just that – lost. Before long, they’ll just be forgotten along the Wall and no one will remember that they were there. It’s what breaks her heart the most. He’s just…gone, not even a body to prove that he existed.

She doesn’t want to cry, not in front of these Survey Corps members who hardly know her. She stands there, biting her lip, staring into the fire for so long that its brightness is beginning to hurt her eyes.

All the words she dreamed of saying to him, and now she can’t. The least she can do is bid him farewell. So she mumbles, “Goodbye,” her voice so quiet that it’s almost inaudible under the roar of the fire.

Those are her last words to him, but her last words should have been the three words that she’s kept for so long. Three words, three simple words, but when she opens her mouth to say them, nothing comes out.