#maybe i will get there though. i didn't think i'd finish this little exchange and here i am!

[namisweatheria]

This is the first real comic I've ever drawn, and of course it's blatantly silly dykery that has nothing to do with canon. I love them. I'm going to do the meltdown next I think.

I'm really obsessed with Koala telling the world her story of being saved by Fisher Tiger and joining the Rev Army, with Uta's help, and Boa seeing it and having an absolute nuclear meltdown over it.

Boa (who is Not losing her mind from guilt and desire for things to be different) summons Koala to her island to basically do this screencap from IASIP at her:

[justakiro]

WHO THE HELL IS DAVE?

୨୧ — ꒰TWISTED WONDERLAND X READER

୨୧ — ꒰in which the boys who have fell head over heals for you, but you mention another name when having a romantic moment with them. Leading to many misunderstandings

Ft. Ace, malleus, idia

A/N: I most likely was on steroids the whole time I wrote this. Anyways reblogs and likes are appreciated.

THE TWO OF YOU - had just finished classes and planned to bond with each other, for you and him did not have any other plans. Unbeknownst to you, he had already planned this out. He planned to get closer to you using the time and utilize it as an opportunity to ask you out.

Ace

You and ace were chilling inside your dorm, chatting casually and exchanging light jokes with each other. He fidgeted with his hands, patiently waiting just for the right moment to take the hit and ask you out right on the spot.

"You have something in your mind?" you questioned him, the look on his face gave away everything. It was now or never!

"Yeah actually-.. Do..you mind if we could hang out after school? Maybe play some arcade" Ace took a glance at you while he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, seeing how you nod your head, he suddenly felt a rush of adrenaline through his veins

"I'd love to Dave"

Well damn.

-Word's couldn't express how his excitement went from 0-100

He thought you were just playing with him till he heard you apologize, saying Dave was a friend you used to hang out with alot.

He brushed it off of course, acting cool and smug at the outside. But in the inside he was basically dying

He didn't want to accept it, but he was beginning to think this Dave person was someone very close to you. So close it made him shudder for it was so unbearable.

You two still went out together after of course.. But the look on his face made it seem like the light had sucked out every single soul in him.

Asked cater to find this Dave person even though there was probably a million of them.

It wasn't long though before his jealousy turned into determination.

Oh so what, this Dave was close to you? Pfft, that was all in the past. HE was gonna be the closest to you now, not him.

Idia

You and idia always hang out with each other after classes but today was different! Since idia himself invited you to his dorm to play games, give each other tips and tricks on the games you both shared a common interest in.

But little did you know this was the final step into finally asking you out! (staying in his dorm more)

See idia wasn't an oblivious person when he started to develop feelings for you.. He was just thinking about how you deserved someone better. But to be honest if he DID see you with someone else he'd immediately feel jealous.

So it was now or never!! He mentally prepared himself for 3 weeks for this moment! Also Ortho was hiding somewhere with a earmic to help Idia steal your heart!

Both of you were just in his room playing games like usual, Your eyes were fixated on the screen though, the only sounds being the keyboard tapping and how focused you are in defeating this boss once and for all.

And when Idia caught a glimpse of the word's 'You Died' pop up, he knew it was go time. Ortho rooted for him... And probably was the only one rooting.

With a final deep breath he tapped your shoulder with his finger that was shaking immensely "I-Uhm, (Name)... Since you're still you know getting wrecked by this boss... W-Wana h-hang out more in my dorm?...." Idia just continued to shrink more and more as he continued to talk, don't blame him though this was his very first time asking anybody out.

With a joyful smile you nodded your head at him "Mm! Sure Dave" you immediately covered your mouth accidentally saying the name of your friend back at earth.

You swear you saw Idias soul start descending to hell with his face flushing in embarrassment while you tried to comfort and apologize to him that it was a mistake.

-Idia you sad sad man...

His mannerisms show how he wanted to dig himself a hole and never return on the surface ever again

3 weeks of mentally preparing himself and he got called another person...

When you left his dorm thinking he needed some time, Idia immediately wailed on the floor using his hoodie to cover himself further

Ortho emerged and comforted him, already trying to track down who this Dave person was.

A tiger is strong but not as strong as Idias mood swings. At first he was depressed over the fact that his crush called him someone else but then got frustrated.

Does this mean Dave frequently plays games with you? Bring him to the ring and Idia will show them how much of a pro gamer he is

He programs a virtual person of Dave inside a game and just spam kills them over and over again to make his frustration subside.

Happy ending though since both of you still played games and you finally defeated the boss.

Malleus

Malleus had always been a gentleman to you the moment his eyes spotted you at the ramshakle, he often showed a softer and sweeter side towards you and nothing like what people imagine him as a cold and mercy less dragon.

He didn't try hiding his feelings either;holding hands, playing with your hair, gifting you things he thought would suit you, all of that kinds of things.

So expect that one day he would abruptly climb your window and ask you if you'd like to be his partner.

Now listen, imagine at 2 in the morning you wake up to the presence of green eyes staring at your soul politely saying to be his partner.

So you took the most reasonable answers, you were either high or still dreaming.

"O-Okay Dave" you accidentally spurted out the name of your closet friend back in your childhood.

Malleus was full on ready to get on one knee until you suddenly said 'Okay Dave?'

Who is this person named Dave? A friend? A significant other? Friends with benefits? Whatever it is Malleus felt something awful inside his stomach

Went to Lilia to ask him for dating advice and told him to 'climb up a window and propose your love to them right away' !

Is this Dave person trying to steal you from him? He doesn't like sharing you know.

You swore a bright flash of thunder strook and hitted a tree nearby making you almost jump outta bed.

You calmed the pissed dragon off though saying it was a mistake, coming up with an excuse that Dave was a made up.

This made Malleus slightly calm down and not strike everything down on his way.

You saved a life of a unfortunate Dave...

But Malleus still got on one knee and proposed to you, but you said you still weren't in the age of marriage yet making Malleus understand your reasoning, he'll just wait patiently for the right moment again.

[the-offside-rule]

Max Verstappen (Red Bull Racing) - Dad

Requested: yes

Prompt: Dad!Max

Warnings: nope

Under the intense buzz of the Formula 1 paddock, Max Verstappen navigated through the sea of people, balancing his son, Luuk, in one arm and holding hands with his girlfriend, Yn, with the other as the rhythmic hum of the car engines providing a lullaby. The Red Bull Racing garage welcomed them with the familiar hum of activity as mechanics fine-tuned the car for the upcoming race weekend.

Max, flashing a quick smile, gestured toward the car. "What do you think, Luuk?" Y/n chuckled. "Future World Champion, just like his old man." Max scoffed. "I'm not old." Y/n shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe he'll be an even better driver than you, Max." Max feigned offense. "Hey now, no one can beat me." He leaned in, planting a soft kiss on Luuk's forehead. "You can try though." Y/n cackled. "Are you challenging a one month old? Max I thought you were better than that." Max pressed a kiss onto Y/n's cheek. "Don't miss me too much." He smiled. "I have company this time." She replied.

As Max prepared for his next stint on the track, Y/n settled in the garage, surrounded by the Red Bull crew. She exchanged smiles with them, who couldn't help but glance at the adorable scene of Max as a doting father, always checking in on Y/n and Luuk. During a break between sessions, Max hurried over to the garage, a genuine excitement in his eyes. "How's my little champ doing?" he cooed, reaching for Luuk. Y/n handed over their son. "He's been keeping an eye on your lap times, hasn't he?" She cooed. "He reckons he'll beat your times in 20 years. Max chuckled, cradling Luuk in his arms. "Starting him young, you know? Gotta teach him about speed and precision." During practice sessions, Max's focus was generally unwavering. However, he'd rush to the garage to check on baby Luuk, making sure he was comfortable and content.

"Is his diaper alright? Is he okay with the sound?" Max asked. "Looks like someone is more concerned about diaper changes than tire changes." Y/n teased. "Luuk's my good luck charm. Can't have him upset during the race weekend, can we?" He smiled back. The crew members shared knowing glances, appreciating the sight of Max Verstappen, renowned for his fearless driving, melting into something so very different.

As Sunday came around and the race has approached, he found himself in P1. He had never wanted a win more in his entire life. His girlfriend was here and so was his son; he could not mess this up. Max took a moment to share a quiet conversation with Y/n on the track. "I'm going to win it." He said, gently cradling Luuk in his arms. "I know you will. We're always here for you, Max. Win or lose." She smiled. "Yeah, but I'm gonna win it." He grinned. She placed a kiss onto his lips and took Luuk back. "Just drive safely please." She smiled. She had always said it before his races, but this time it felt different to him; to both of them. They didn't just have eachother to think about, they had Luuk there and that meant more than any trophy. Max hugged her, kissing atop her head before Y/n made her way to the Red Bull garage, sitting down and finding a newfound sense of fear.

During the race, with the roar of engines and the intensity of competition, Max maneuvered his car skillfully, making sure to lap the cars and to finish the race safely so he could get back to his girlfriend, to his son. In the garage, Y/n held Luuk, watching anxiously. She always knew for certain Max would always do well but this particular time, she was nervous. On the team radio, GP was keeping him informed. "Looking good, Max. Keep pushing!" He said. Max radioed back. "Just a few more laps, we've got it."

As Max crossed the finish line, triumphant, he got onto the radio. "Great start to the season, guys. And for Y/n back in the garage;I told you I'd win it." Y/n rolled her eyes hearing the radio message before heading out eith Luuk to Parc Ferme. She watched as her boyfriend parked his car and stood atop of it, his arms opened open and triumphant. Sweaty and exhilarated, he hopped down, running straight to Y/n and Luuk. "You did so well." Y/n smiled, kissing his helmet. "Was he okay?" Max asked. "He was fine. Not a peep out of him." He nodded, holding his son's hand. "Good man." He chuckled, before excusing himself and celebrating with the crew.

Max held the microphone as he awaited his turn for his podium interview. "Max, first race back. You have your whole family here with you today, how does that feel?" Max smiled and looked up to the crowds. "Yeah, it's a great achievement. Obviously it's only the first race so we can't pinpoint whether we will win the whole thing or not. But yeah, I mean having my girlfriend and my son here makes every win even sweeter. They're my biggest supporters." The crowd cheered. "You obviously mentioned there, your son he was born just last month a few weeks before testing and now he's here with you and your wonderful girlfriend. Did you race for them today and are you racing for them this season?"

"I've always raced for Y/n, for as long as I've known the girl. It's just a full circle moment now that I'm now dedicating this win to our boy as well. This victory is their's as much as it is my own." The fans, witnessing the heartfelt family moment, erupted in cheers. Verstappen's not just a racer; he's a family man too. "Do you have any words for Luuk or have you already said everything you need to say to him?" He thought for a moment before looking right into the camera, almost teary. "Luuk, het zal uiteraard nog wel even duren voordat jij gaat racen, maar onthoud: als ik het kan, dan weet ik zeker dat jij het ook kunt. Als je er maar over nadenkt, zal ik vlak achter je staan, samen met je moeder. Ik hou van je, ik geloof in je, ik heb deze eerste overwinning aan jou opgedragen, jij draagt ​​de jouwe aan mij op." He handed the microphone to the interviewer and waved, heading off screen.

"So, listening to that now after your first win in Formula One, how are the emotions?" Luuk smiled as he set the tablet down, looking over at the very same interviewer. "I mean, it was a journey together. I dedicate every race to him, just as he did with me and to my mother as well. It was emotional when I crossed that finish line, he was the first person that popped right into my head. He always was and always has been. I'm just baffled to see how far we have come." The interviewer nodded. "Thank you Luuk. Its been a pleasure. Good luck with the rest of the season." Luuk bid his goodbyes and walked to his garage, in search for his parents who stood looking at their son's car. "Interviews done?" Y/n asked, kissing her son on the cheek. "Yes and I actually watched your speech you gave after Melbourne in 2024." Max smiled. "Did you?" Luuk nodded. "Yeah. It got me remembering absolutely everything we did." He smiled, patting his shoulder. "Come on, old man. You gotta get out of here, I have a car to drive."

"I'm not that old!"

-------

Translation: Luuk, it will obviously take some time before you start racing, but remember: if I can do it, I'm sure you can do it too. If you even think about it, I'll be right behind you, along with your mother. I love you, I believe in you, I dedicated this first victory to you, you dedicate yours to me

[morellywrong]

Missing Out

Ethan Landry x afab reader (fem pronouns/nouns)

Warnings: stalking, obsession, Ethan's a pretty lil psycho, descriptions of murdering and torture, Ethan is actually fucked bro, reader is wearing a dress, Ethan is kinda neuro-divergent- coded (real), both Ethan and reader will be bi-coded because I said so, also some gross lil things in there for fun :)

Part 1 (?)

"Hey, y/n!" Ethan beams as he catches up to you, on your way to your morning class.

"Oh, hey Ethan...you sure are chipper this morning." You chuckle softly as he adjusts his bag strap on his shoulder.

"Yeah, I don't know, I guess I slept pretty good- I had a productive evening." He beams softly, walking alongside you, matching his usually long strides to better fit yours.

"Oh yeah, get all your work done?"

Flashes of the previous evening washed over Ethan's mind, his grin only growing.

"Please! Please, I didn't do anything!!!" The boy sobs, his eye swollen, lips bleeding and a deep gash on the side of his neck hes desperately trying to keep pressure on with his broken hand.

"...that's where you're wrong...you got in the way." Ethan hisses, his voice modulator clipped into the inside of his signature Ghostface mask, wiping the blood slowly from his knife.

"Please...please..." The boy begs helplessly, tears running down his cheeks, snot bubbling under his nose as he backs away weakly, only for his back to be met with the wall.

"Please, please...." Ethan mocks him, stepping closer, his heavy boots thumping against the concrete of the warehouse he'd dragged his latest victim to.

"No one will hear you scream...no one will remember you...not even her...youre nothing..." The boy yelled out in anguish, choked sobs becoming more and more liquidated-

Ethan snaps back to reality as he turns towards you again, still smiling brightly.

"Yeah, it was....good, I got everything finished sooner than I thought."

"Wow...maybe I should get you to do my coursework sometime." You chuckle softly, nudging his shoulder with your elbow. Heat spreads across his face as he lets out a breathless laugh, looking away.

"Y...yeah, well, maybe..." He mumbles, his dimples showing as he glances back to you.

"Oh, are you going to the frat party later tonight? Tara, Mindy and Anika invited me....Chad'll be there too..." You hum, offering the idea with a small grin.

Ethan's heart hammers in his chest, feeling that type of love sickness his Dad used to talk about with his mother.

Well. Before Wade had all his children assist in killing their mother. Ethan tried not to think about it too much.

"I...I'd love too, y/n..." He whispers, his pupils dilated so much one would assume he'd taken something to help him focus more on his studies.

Or watch the sky melt.

"Cool....uh, wanna meet at the party? Quinn offered to drive us girls there and back, since she'd got a date tonight..." You giggle slightly, even though you're glad there'll be a designated driver.

"Sure, uh, I've, uh, never really been to many parties, though. I get a little nervous in crowds." He lies, brows creased together, portraying that awkward, shy boy you know him as.

"Don't worry. You can stick with me the entire night....I don't drink much anyways..." You beam softly as you stop outside your class.

"I'll see you after Econ?" He nodded quickly, propping up on the balls of his feet briefly to try and contain his excitement.

"See you. Meet for lunch?"

"Defintiely. I heard there's pretzels today." You smirk softly as he lets out another breathless laugh.

"Yeah...." He murmurs in a slight daze as you walk into the lecture hall, giving him a small wave before leaving his sight.

He leans back against the wall, holding onto the straps of his backpack as his cheeks heat up even more, biting the inside of his cheek with an uncontrollable beam plastered on his pale face.

You had spent lunch with Ethan, sat on the grass outside one of the lecture halls, laughing together about how crappy most of the lecturers are, and exchanging mild stories about how boring your days were. But soon enough you had your last classes of the day to attend, afterwards he walked you to your dorm building.

He always insisted on walking you all the way to your dorm room, claiming it was safer.

"There's a psycho on the news, haven't you heard??" He beams playfully at you as you playfully push at his arm. He's been mentioning it ever since the first disappearances.

"Please, I'm not important enough of a target, let alone being noticed by some killer." You roll you eyes as he watches you take your keys out of your bag pocket.

Keys that he definitely hasn't got like 4 copies of each key on there. He's pretty sure one of them is just for a small indoor window, and another is to your old locker key that you still have on your keychain for some reason- even though he defintely has a copy of your current locker key.

It's the stupid little things he likes in life, after all. And something about you not caring to throw the old key out just makes him love you more.

"Nah, maybe the killer is secretly targeting you...maybe he's watching you sleep-" He grins playfully, watching you send him an unimpressed look.

"Alright, get out of here, you're not supposed to be in this building anyway...I think we'll be at the frat party at like 9, ask Chad, I'm sure Tara's told him all the details." You smirk whilst tapping the side of your nose playfuly. He taps his in return, grinning. It was no secret those two were grossly infatuated with each other.

"I'll see you later. Text me if you need anything." He responds like clockwork, a usual closing response he offers to you out of the kidness of his heart. And definitely not obsession.

"I will." You insist with a chuckle, before closing your door and leaving him beaming by himself crazily once more, rolling onto the balls of his feet once, twice then three times before he catches himself, correcting his body language quickly.

"You look so fucking good!" Tara beams, a shot or two already in her system, deciding to pregame before the party as you got ready with the other three party-goers.

She stood behind you, admiring your body as you stand in front of her bedroom mirror.

"I don't know...it's a bit revealing..." You mumble sheepishly as you glance at your reflection, at the new dress you had bought the last time you were out with the girls.

"Shut up, no one will care, if anything, it's a good thing, dummy." Mindy beams from the couch, Anika fixing the back collar of her shirt, both also a little tipsy.

"Yeah, girls and guys are gonna be all over you."

"Chad'll keep an eye on us though, he always does." Tara smiles gently as she helps adjust the straps on your shoulders, her fingers leaving a small tingling feeling against your bare skin.

"More like he keeps an eye on you." Quinn smirks from the doorway, eyeing your outfit up and down with almost hungry eyes.

"Nice dress, y/n...hey, you guys ready?" She holds up her car keys with a small shake, the metal jingling in her hand.

"Yes! Let's fucking go, girls!" Mindy exclaims, standing up and grabbing her girlfriends hand.

"Let's go!!" Anika grins brightly.

"Let's go, cmon!" Tara grabs your own hand in her's, practically dragging you behind her.

When you arrive the party, it's pretty much already at full force. Drunken jocks, flashy cheerleaders, theatre kids talking loudly in the corner, math wizz's awkwardly stood in their small gaggles. It's refreshing, in a way, to see the students enjoying themselves and taking a break from studying.

"It's fucking loud..." You mumble, glancing over at the giant speakers in the corner and the 'DJ' set up the frat house had set up for the party. Your ears strained as you winced, before gasping.

"I feel like i'm inside the fucking speaker!" Chad beams, his voice making you and Tara jump as he places a hand on your shoulder, the other on Tara's shoulder. His head appeared between you, but he was grinning at Tara.

You glance behind him, beaming softly as you spot Ethan stood there. He looks like he's already spacing out, disassociating from the crowd once he realises how loud and chaotic it was.

In reality, Ethan's zeroing in on a girl staring at you. She's one of the cheerleaders. Bitchy, blonde, ditzy, pretty stereotypical but there she is. She's whispering to her friends, gesturing towards you and smiling as they all giggle.

He's trying to figure out if she's making fun of you or if she's into you. Either way, he's going to paint someone's walls with her blood by the end of the night.

"Ethan?" He glances down at you, a smile breaking onto his face beyond his control.

"Hey! Sorry, uh..."

"I get it. I space out at parties a lot. It's jut so overstimulating sometimes." You reassure him, nudging him softly with your shoulder.

"Y....yeah, that's it! Sorry, I tend to space out pretty often..." He plays it off, before his eyes snap to your outfit- the tight dress you'd decided to wear, before he forces himself to meet your eyes, respectfully. He needed to have patience, he didn't want to creep you out or scare you away from him- at least not /yet/.

You didn't need to know about the cameras hidden in your dorm room.

"Hey, wanna grab a drink? I'll stay with you, don't worry." You offer, speaking over the music.

Ethan grinned a little more sternly than he had intended to as you playfully link your arm with his, his cheeks lighting up- he was grateful for the dark lighting of the frat party. The only real light was LED lights that blessed the room with a purple and red glow.

He glances back over the cheeleader, she's glaring at him, her knuckles tense as she grips her plastic paper cup so tight it starts to crinkle and strain. He just sent her a dark look, before walking with you to the kitchen of the frat house- where the alcohol is.

[snek-panini]

Today I'm sharing my final book of Binderary, the fantastically good, unfinished The Art of Letting Go by Nekhen. I've loved this fic for years, my friends. It's a Good Omens human AU with a lot of very kinky dom/sub things that are actually baked into the worldbuilding (but not as omegaverse. No shade, but this is different). I never thought I'd read a bdsm fic for the worldbuilding but here we are. Mind the tags and author's notes if you do decide to go for it; it gets intense in places. If you're concerned about in being incomplete, know that it does leave some obvious threads hanging but we end in a very soft place.

Not to be totally self-indulgent but oh my god I am so in love with this bind. I keep looking at it and being surprised that it's mine, that I made it. I think it might be the prettiest thing I've done to date. That's black faux leather (ubonga black, from Hollander's) on the cover, and the inset is platinum silk moire with pewter foil htv for the lettering. It's a crisscross binding, also known as a Secret Belgian, and it's my first time doing this style but it definitely won't be my last. This project was a bit of a challenge to myself; I took it from unformatted text document to finished book entirely within the month of February, to see if I could. And I did!

Have a look under the cut for more images and process talk. I went all out on the details with this one.

Close up of the front cover, where it has mitered corners that don't photograph too well because the leather's so shiny. The silk moire I used was a pair of scraps from when I bound Persuasion last Binderary. The border is deeper than I normally go for because the silk pieces were too small and already cut, so I had to have a bigger overlap. I'm a big fan of the finished product though. Absolutely no regrets.

The image on the back was a free image I found at the Noun Project, called "bound eclipse" (sic). I thought it looked a lot like wedding rings, and while there's no wedding in this fic there is an exchange of vows and an intense level of commitment, so it felt appropriate.

The recommended length for a crisscross binding is about 120-150 pages. As you see in these photos, this one does not fall within that range. It's 340, plus front matter, so maybe about 355-ish all told. It's chonky. Crisscrosses are glueless binds and I know gluing and backing would have helped with the swell in this one, but it's bdsm and unfinished. It had to be a crissscross. The spine piece in this style is held in place only be thread tension and that's the most bdsm thing ever. It's book shibari. I didn't trim the pages since there's not much point to it in a glueless bind (they shift too much) and I thought it would bother me but it doesn't. It's too pretty.

Let's open him up, shall we?The doublure is a cream colored lokta printed with metallic gold and silver ferns. Part of the trust-building process between our two leads involves refurbishing a dilapidated conservatory and bringing in new plants, so I thought some flourishing greenery would be appropriate, and it matches the color scheme very well. I also lined my spine with it, though this isn't very visible in the final product. I had a strip of bare board on the inside of the spine and was worried it would show. All you can see is that little peek at the very bottom, but better safe than sorry. Naked board would have made me very sad. The text block is sewn with regular linen thread, but the visible stitching on the cover is platinum embroidery floss. Fiddly to work with, slippery, but worth it for how well it matches the color scheme. It's also a little bit shiny, like the silk. Perfection.

All the interior ornaments are from the Noun Project. On the title page we have a collar (plot relevant. There's quite a bit of discussion and implication in the fic about collars). The scene breaks are all delineated with a little chain, which I thought was appropriate both due to some literal chains in the first chapter and because of the more metaphorical breaking of chains that goes on as our leads grow closer. The widget behind the chapter number is my favorite though. It's from the same set as the back image, but I made it a paler gray and layered it under the chapter numbers so they look like they're tied up. I was worried it would be too busy but it's perfect.

I chose the crisscross style for this fic for a couple of reasons. One is the thematic one about shibari that I mentioned above, and the other has to do with real-world considerations. I always bind unfinished fics as coptics, because they're glueless and have no spine piece, so in theory it would be relatively easy to come back someday and add more pages if the author ever updates again. However, I found out a couple of months ago that Nekhen had passed away unexpectedly in 2022. We didn't know each other, I just read their fics and was sad when there weren't any updates for a long time. I wanted to give some kind of acknowledgement of the fact that this one isn't finished and never will be, and having it be glueless but still have a covered spine felt like the right balance. We would always like more but we have to acknowledge that there's a period at the end of the sentence, you know? I wrote a binder's note about it at the end of the book (clearly marked, so you know it's from me and not the author) where I quoted the note from the Canterbury Tales that I talked about a few weeks ago: "Of this tale Chaucer made no more."

I just. I really love this book. I've loved the fic for years and now I can love it on paper. It's so good. It looks so professional. If I found this in a book store it would be out of my budget. I may never top it.

[lucy90712]

Brother’s best friend- Hector Fort

WC: 2.5k

One rule 'no dating my teammates'. 

One rule 'my sister is off limits'.

We each had one rule to follow but of course you always want what you can't have. I didn't mean to break the rule it really wasn't my intention but when Marc took me to one of his training sessions I was drawn to Hector straight away. Not only was he by far the most attractive guy there he was also really sweet to me and maybe a little flirty which only made me want him more. For a while I held back as my brothers words circled round my brain every time I thought about getting to know Hector better but eventually the attraction was too much to ignore it was like we were drawn to each other. 

It started out innocently we would just talk to each other while he had a break in training and I'd hang out with him when Marc invited him over. That innocence didn't last long though as when we finally exchanged numbers, without Marc's knowledge of course, all we did was flirt with each other which led to us arranging a secret date. I was nervous for the date as I want sure if we would have a real connection or if it's just easy for us to flirt with each other but we actually got on really well and there was definitely a connection there. We went on a few more dates before he asked me to be his girlfriend which was a good 6 months ago now. Over those 6 months we have only told a total of 3 people one of them was my best friend as I use going to see her as an excuse to see Hector and the other two are some of Hector and Marc's teammates as they caught us kissing after a game once. Everyone that knows is sworn to secrecy and so far they've kept that up because they know if Marc finds out they knew they'll be in trouble too. 

As much as it's been hard to hide things from Marc it's definitely worth it. Seeing as it's the one rule he set if he finds out he's definitely going to be mad at both me and Hector. He's a great brother but he's definitely over protective but I guess that comes with being my older brother even if it is just by a few minutes. There are times that I worry he'll find out without me even saying anything because he'll sense that I'm lying. They say twins always have a special connection which is definitely true for me and Marc but he's yet to figure out that I'm hiding something from him which is almost unheard of as I've never kept a secret from him for more than a week before. 

Recently it's become harder to hide everything as Hector and I want to spend more time together but that means I have to have more excuses to go out or sleep somewhere else and I can only think of so many. To try and help keep things under wraps Hector has been coming over more as he can hang out with Marc and then secretly break away to spend time with me. That's exactly what's happening today Hector wanted to see me so he made out like he wanted to spend time with my brother so he's coming over and I'll join them so I can be with Hector. 

Time seemed to really drag on but eventually I heard the front door and two voices downstairs which meant they were finally home. As much as I wanted to run down straight I couldn't as that would be weird and Marc would definitely ask questions so I waited a bit before grabbing my water bottle and heading downstairs. Like always my brother ignored my existence but Hector looked over and smiled so I smiled back and even kissed the air as my brother was far too focused on turning on the Xbox. Once I filled my water bottle I sat myself on the sofa next to Hector as there was still space next to him and he helpfully sat closest to the kitchen. 

"Oh hey I didn't know you were home" Marc said finally acknowledging my presence 

"You never do but I had homework to finish so I decided to stay in today and get it done" I said 

"Well you can join us if you want that's if you want to be beaten again" he laughed 

"Maybe I'll beat you this time I've been practicing" I said 

"Since when?" He asked 

"Oh while you're at training I've been practicing" I replied 

That was a lie I've been playing with Hector at his place but luckily I can think quickly and Marc still seems none the wiser. We all played fifa for a while and of course I didn't beat Marc but I definitely did better than I used to so Hector's coaching has really helped me out. I took a break from playing to make dinner for everyone but the boys kept playing after dinner. Eventually it got dark and time went on so Marc suggested that Hector stay over as it was late and they both had training in the morning. Sometimes it's just too easy this is exactly what I was hoping would happen and yet again my brother pulls through in helping me break the one rule he set for me which he does more than he knows. 

I left and got myself ready for bed then all I had to do was wait. My phone kept me entertained until my bedroom door opened slowly to reveal my lovely boyfriend who was trying to be as quiet as possible so that my brother wasn't alerted that he was here. Once he made it past all the squeaky floor boards and to the other side of my bed he hopped in and opened his arms for me. Of course I immediately attached myself to Hector and he wrapped his arms around me as tightly as he could. He peppered kisses all over my face before his lips finally met mine in a passionate kiss which I've been waiting for all day. 

"I've missed you" Hector said kissing me again 

"I've missed you too" I replied 

"You know maybe we should tell Marc we've been together for a while now and I hate not being able to see you as much as I want and having to sneak around is getting harder" I said 

"I would love to not have to hide things but I value my life too much you know he would kill me if he found out that we're together especially for as long as we have been" he said 

"I know but one day we have to say something we can't live like this forever" I pointed out 

"I know but let's leave it a bit longer if he hasn't found out when we've been together for a year we can tell him then" Hector reasoned 

"Fine but until then you better give me lots of love" I laughed 

"Don't you worry I will give you everything I've got to give" he smiled 

Hector and I stayed up longer than we probably should've but we just wanted to make the most of the time together. We had to wake up early too so that Hector could leave my room before Marc wakes up but spending the time together was definitely worth the lack of sleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Marc didn't catch me and Hector when he stayed in my room the other night and last night I said I was staying with my best friend but really I spent the night at Hector's. We had a great time he set up candles and cooked dinner so we could have a romantic meal together which was really nice as we never get to do that because we can't go out together. I really enjoyed getting to spend a romantic evening with Hector as we don't get to spend much time together and we never really get to have proper dates unless Marc is away which isn't very often. Hector really stuck to his promise too as he made me feel so loved and definitely gave me everything he's got all night long. 

Sadly he had to leave for training quite early but he let me stay until I needed to leave for school and let me lock up with the spare key he gave me a little while back. As soon as I arrived at school people were giving me weird looks which I thought was odd but sometimes this happens when Marc does something good with the team as people know we are twins. It was only when I got the same look from my friends that I started to consider it was something to do with me that was garnering all this attention. To begin with they wouldn't tell me simply just giggling thinking that I was joking around but I wasn't I had no idea what was so funny.

"Seriously guys what's going on what have I done?" I asked 

"Have you seriously not noticed" one of my friends laughed 

"Noticed what?" I asked getting annoyed 

"The hickeys on your neck I mean they are everywhere and they don't exactly blend in" my best friend finally said 

"Shit I didn't notice I got ready really quickly this morning I didn't really pay any attention" I panicked 

"Is it really that bad?" I then asked 

"It's definitely bad you will want to try and cover them before you see your brother if you don't want him to kill you" another friend said 

"And Hector" my best friend added 

"Wait these are from Hector" one friend said 

"I thought you weren't allowed to date your brother's teammates" another added 

"First off yes Hector we've been dating for a while but we've been keeping it quiet clearly until now and second no I'm not supposed to date any of the boys in the team which is why Marc will kill us both if he finds out" I spiralled 

"Don't worry about it right now you should get home first just put some concealer on and keep it on until the bruises are gone" my best friend said trying to calm me down 

"You're right and remember no one say anything about Hector as you'll be on trial for being involved in our murders ok" I said 

They all promised me and we headed to our first class. In every class I sat with my hand covering my neck as I don't need anyone else wondering who seemingly assaulted my neck and I definitely don't want the teachers seeing. It was a long day with all the looks I was getting the boys teasing me asking who the lucky guy was as usually no one comes near me as they are all scared of Marc. Eventually though the end of the day came and I practically ran home to cover up the bruises which only seemed to get worse throughout the day. 

When I finally got a good look at myself in the mirror I could see what everyone was looking it was bad like really bad. As soon as I get the chance I'm definitely going to kill Hector for this as not only was it embarrassing to look like this at school I now I have to be really careful not to rub off the concealer I'll need on my neck for the next few days. Once I started applying makeup to my neck I realised that not even my best concealer was going to fix this. You could still see the deep purple marks under no matter how much I put on so in the end I just took it all off. I'd rather have Marc see the hickeys as they are than see my attempt to cover them as I know he'll be more suspicious if I'm trying to hide them. The only thing I did was put some cream on that will hopefully help the bruises go away a bit quicker. Seeing as there was nothing I could do I just had to wait to see what would happen when Marc came home. 

The front door opening and closing startled me as I wasn't expecting Marc to be home for another hour but in he came along with Hector. Marc barely walked a few steps in before he stopped and silence filled the room. He looked at me then my neck and I looked at him then at Hector who's jaw might as well have been on the floor he was that shocked looking at what he'd done. Then it happened Marc turned to Hector and saw his expression and suddenly the vibe in the room changed. I watched Marc as his hands balled up into fists and anger filled his eyes. I don't know how but he knew he finally figured it out. 

"Are you serious" Marc broke the silence 

"Have you seriously been fucking my sister behind my back" he pretty much screamed 

"What no why would you think that" Hector said clearly panicked 

"Well my sisters neck looks like a vampire attacked it and you had scratches all down your back this morning so unless this is a huge coincidence there is something going on here" Marc continued to scream 

"Ok fine I'll admit that I did that but it's not just sex I promise" Hector said 

"Yeah we've been together for over 6 months now we aren’t just fuck buddies we are actually together" I added 

"There was one rule for both of you and you broke it and then thought you could hide it from me how long did you plan to keep this a secret forever until you were married" Marc raged 

"I'll admit we should've told you sooner but we both knew we were breaking the rules and didn't want this to happen but I can say with full confidence that I love your sister I really do I would never dream of hurting her she's everything to me so I'm sorry we hid this but we just didn't want to anger you" Hector explained 

"Do you really love her?" Marc asked calming down slightly 

"I do she makes me so happy and I love her a lot" Hector said 

"Do you love him?" Marc asked me 

"Yeah he treats me well and he puts a smile on my face" I said 

"I guess if you two are happy together there's nothing I can do but no kissing in front of me or I will kill you both and if you ever hurt her bro I won't hesitate to beat your ass" Marc threatened 

"Understood" Hector said 

"Thank you for understanding we really are happy together I'm just sorry you had to find out this way" I said hugging Marc then going over to Hector 

Hector smiled at me and held my waist gently which actually put a small smile on Marc's face. I don't think it will be long before he comes to terms with our relationship and lets us be but for now I don't think I want to test that theory. 

[frickingnerd]

the things i'd do for you

pairing: akihiko sanada x gn!reader (+shinjiro aragaki)

summary: akihiko is a regular at the coffee shop you work at, even though he doesn't drink coffee. but there's another good reason for him to show up: you, the cute barista he has a crush on!

tags: silly & wholesome fluff, mentions of food & coffee, akihiko asking reader out on a date, shinjiro & akihiko talk about coffee + akihiko's crush on you, reader listening in on aki & shinji, wingman!shinjiro, very awkward!akihiko

every day, akihiko stopped by the coffee shop you worked at to buy some coffee. he'd always get a coffee to go, yet sit down in the seat nearest to the register. you never thought much about him, until one day you noticed, that despite being a regular at the place for a few months now, the boy never once actually drank the coffee he bought!

“i don't think i ever saw him take a sip from his coffee, you know…” one of your co-workers had pointed out to you. “i've kept an eye on him the last few times he was here, but he never once drank the coffee!”

and sure enough, once you had started to pay attention to it, you noticed it too. despite spending all that money on coffee, he never once drank any of it! you wondered what his deal was, but the answer to that question came to you sooner than expected.

“here, you can have this.”

when you were heading home early from your shift one day, you spotted the white haired boy in front of the coffee shop, shoving his cup of coffee into the hands of a taller, long-haired guy. likely a friend of his.

“seriously?” the other boy huffed and laughed, taking a small sip from the coffee. “why do you even go there in the first place, if you're not drinking what you're buying?”

“i appreciate the ambience” akihiko replied, causing the other boy to almost spit out his coffee, as a dry laughter escaped his lips.

“you? appreciating the ambience? i'd have guessed that all those cakes and sweets they sell alongside the coffee would annoy a protein freak like yourself. aren't you all about a healthy lifestyle?” he teased, which caused akihiko to roll his eyes and mumble a quiet ‘shut up’.

“if it's not the coffee or the food…” his friend began to ponder, as a grin slipped onto his lips. “then which of the baristas is it? the cute brunette? maybe the tall blonde? or–”

“finish your coffee, shinji–!” akihiko huffed annoyed in response.

“i will. just one last guess, alright?” shinjiro grinned, as his eyes suddenly darted towards you. “is it the one watching us right now…?”

akihiko's head whipped around just as quickly as you pulled your phone out of your pocket to pretend like you had been busy with your own things all along. but as you heard footsteps approaching, you glanced up from your phone again, to find akihiko stopping in front of you, while his friend waited where they had stood moments ago.

“i… apologize for listening in on your conversation.” you stated, before akihiko could even say anything. “i was merely curious why you never drank the coffee and i–”

“would you… like to go out with me?”

“h-huh…?”

you stared at the boy, perplexed not only that he hadn't been angry with you, but that he had instead asked you on a date. so then, what his friend said about akihiko only showing up to the coffee shop because of the cute barista…

“i should've done that month ago, but–” akihiko sighed, struggling to find the right words. “i'm not particularly good at asking people on dates. i kinda hoped it'd come with time, but… well, clearly it didn't.”

he chuckled awkwardly, causing you to ease up a little and return a small smile. in all honesty, his awkwardness was quite endearing.

“i– i think i'd like to go on a date with you.” you replied after a short moment of consideration. akihiko's face lit up a little, as he tried to hide his excitement.

“cool! that's… cool!” he said, staring at you for a moment, before a quiet ‘oh’ left his lips and he fished his phone out of his pocket. “how about… we exchange numbers! then i can text you about when you have time for our date”

akihiko held his phone out to you and you quickly typed your number and name into it. as you returned it to him, you asked:

“anything you'd like to do?”

“anything is fine with me!” he replied. “as long as we're not getting coffee on our first date…”

[pridepages]

Intimacy

I finished Infinity Alchemist by Kacen Callender. I have thoughts...

Here there be spoilers!

People crave closeness.

We can pretend all we want that we're just fine alone, but some part of us is always calling, reaching out, yearning to clasp hold...

So why is it so incredibly fucking hard?

How is it that we spend so much of our lives trying and getting it wrong?

Maybe it's because intimacy is alchemy.

Books have a way of getting in our heads, and that's what happened when I read Kacen Callendar's Infinity Alchemist. It felt like the right way to start the school year, considering "the original spark of Infinity Alchemist was rejection...specifically, the rejection of trans people by another author who wrote about a magic school."

Okay, sign me up. I'm here for trans magicians, or as we call them, alchemists. Ash Woods, our transman protagonist, is out to prove his credentials in a world that gatekeeps magic.

He crosses paths with nonbinary icon Ramsay Thorne, an alchemic prodigy with a dark past. Ramsay agrees to illegally teach Ash alchemy in exchange for help on a quest: to find the fabled book of the source and thereby restore the Thorne line's good name.

If Ash is the courage, and Ramsay the brains, all we're missing is the heart. Enter Callum Kendrick, the military brat with a heart of gold. Together, they'll save the world...and fall in love with each other.

Yes, all three of them.

I'm not going to spend anymore time on the plot. Boy meets companions, grows into his powers, achieves grand destiny...I've seen it all before. What really got my brain spinning was the polyamory.

Look, I'll be the first to admit that's not usually my thing. I just didn't get it. I couldn't really understand how three people could share their hearts, their bodies, their trust in ways that left no one wanting and everyone enough.

But, then, I've struggled to share my heart with one person.

I've been away for a while. And part of that was getting caught up in meeting someone new. Someone I wanted to share the parts of myself I've kept behind glass. So I gave my heart away in little pieces, hoping she would treasure them...

It took me a while to figure out I wasn't getting anything back.

Every time I'd try to get closer, I got pushed away. At first, I accepted that. Because boundaries need to be respected. Because I figured she just needed more time...

More time didn't solve anything. And when dared to ask for more than crumbs of affection, I watched her brush all the little pieces of my heart off her hands. All my insecurities were thrown in my face. My feelings, my concerns, they weren't listened to.

“Do You often make a habit of telling people what they think and how they feel?”

When Ramsay called Ash out, I had to stop. Put the book down.

Because I got it.

This is what I'd missed.

For so long, I thought intimacy meant sharing my body, my trust, and my time. While they are all parts of it, they're not enough. They need one last alchemical spark--

Intimacy needs connection.

Ash figures this out reflecting on a lackluster sexual encounter: “he still had emotions and thoughts that were his own, separate from his friend’s—and in a way, that was what made the experience even more uncomfortable and unsatisfying.” The key is the distance, the separation. “Though Ash and Tobin had shared a bed and touched each other’s bodies, Ash had still closed himself off emotionally. He still hadn’t felt safe enough to be vulnerable.”

But vulnerability is terrifying. The word itself means making yourself weak.

In the real world, we don't have magic to bypass human limitations. Ash and Ramsay are able to commune on a spiritual level. Unable to edit, they cannot hide behind pretense or omission. They cannot fumble words or misunderstand. They see each other's memories, dreams, hopes, fears, and ambitions. They experience each other firsthand.

Without the ability to see into someone else's heart and mind, we have to take the risk. And what if you choose the wrong person?

Maybe that's part of why monogamy is so persistent.

I'm not trying to downplay the social forces of economics, religion, etc in creating and forwarding the narrative of One True Love. But as society has evolved, monogamy has become less and less necessary.

So why is polyamory still so rare?

Well, what if it's because making yourself vulnerable to one person is scary and the idea of being that open to more?

Terrifying.

But what if we stopped thinking of it as weakness?

“It isn’t as if we should only feel attraction and love for one person,” Callum points out. “I’ve never understood it, this expectation that people should only love one other at a time…Energy is infinite, and love is energy, so love has the potential to be infinite, too.”

In a world where most people have more than one partner over a lifetime, we've already debunked the idea that love is limited to one. So why not more than one at once? Love is not just infinite--it's multidirectional.

Look, I'm not saying it's for everyone.

But if you're willing to leave your heart wide open--

Well, you never know how much room you have until you start letting people in.

[shurisneakers]

Okay before I start I just want to say that I love you and I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve read Harmless. I literally just finished rereading it last week and I miss it already. BUT THEN I FOUND OUT YOU POSTED THE FIRST TWO CHAPTERS OF UNSOLVED AND I AM ALREADY ADDICTED!

Also FYI this is gonna be a long ask and I’m sorry 😬

But hear me out, okay. As soon as I read the first two chapters of unsolved I thought of this story. A couple years ago my mom and I had this ghost show craze and the things people claim to have gone through is insane (I’m not really sure whether I believe in ghosts and stuff or not, tbh) But anyway this one show (which I can’t remember the name of) did a segment on this graduate student who was renting an apartment from her professor at a discount rate sometime during the late 90s/early 2000s. She moves in and starts being followed and watched by a shadow person/poltergeist who does poltergeist shit like open cabinets, steal keys, bang on things, etc. Most notably though, it steals a whole block of cheese which she was using to make mac and cheese. She tears the kitchen apart to find it, knowing that she just had it on the counter beside her, but cannot find it. Weeks later she opens her utensil drawer and there’s the block of cheese, molded. (I don’t know if you’re looking for actual cases or making them up or a bit of both)

So anyway, I had some thoughts on how Bucky and his partner would potentially respond to this story (all of which is potentially very lame and cringy so I’m sorry in advance for that, too.)

Okay, so my thoughts are that Bucky asks what kind of cheese it was and the reader thinks ‘why the fuck does this matter?’ But she replies something like “idk, she’s a poor college student so probably velveeta or some shit.” He says “that shit doesn’t mold! It’s got enough preservatives in it to kill and mummify a horse!” and she’s like “well maybe it was some other cheese, then” already exasperated at the frivolous line of questioning. But he continues to be a little shit and says something like “maybe she didn’t look for it in the utensils drawer” and she responds, incredulously, with “she would have had to get a fucking fork at some point” and he says “maybe she got ’em from take out” and she’s like “she’s a poor grad student?!” And he’s like “it’s called living beyond your means. Maybe she didn’t care about her credit score.” And the reader is sure that she’s gonna have an aneurysm. Also I know he would steal cheese or some other food item from Sam or Clint or the reader later just to fuck with ‘em.

Thanks for putting up with my rambling 😊

HIIIII VIOLET ❤️❤️ I just wanted to say that I see your reblogs all the time in my notifications and i appreciate it so so much. Thank you reading my fics, it really means the world to me!!

I do make up the cases in Unsolved! i didn't want to accidentally disrespect anybody or beliefs, and that becomes a tricky area to navigate when you're using IRL cases so i thought that fiction was the best way to go about it

Why did I think you were going to tell me that the professor was living in the dorm and just screwing with her. Like those other cases where food disappears from kitchens and the homeowners realise that there's someone else living in the home with them

you're absolutely right, he would call out the stupidest fucking details and the kind of cheese is most definitely at the top. i LOVE this exchange you've written-- it really does feel like them especially the whole "she's a fucking grad student??????" part lmfafhfhf

I'd love to turn this or something similar into a mini drabble one of these days, if you'd be okay with that!

thank you so so much for this ask. i loved it and read it like 15 times today. and thank you for the time and effort you spend in reblogging my nonsense, i appreciate you so much ❤️❤️❤️

[palettepainter]

This is an excuse for me to share a wholesome interaction I had with my bus driver last year

So last year I was attending a mental health group every Wednesday, I know mental health group makes it sound super serious, but it was really just a bunch of girls who were either on the spectrum/suspected they were on the spectrum, who had anxiety/depression or other form of mental illness and we got to hang out and chat, it was super fun!

I got the same bus every Wednesday to and from town, and it was the same bus driver each time. In this time I'd come to refer to him in my head as 'my bus driver', cuz he would always be driving the buses I was on. After a while I became a regular to the routes he would drive, we'd exchange short greetings as I paid for my ticket and sometimes make casual jokes about the weather or some other mundane thing.

One day when I got the bus, it was a differnet driver. I didn't think too much of it at first, assuming my usual bus driver was sick or on holiday. However after a week I was worried he'd retired, I got a bit sad thinking about it, because even though we had never had a proper conversation, he was such a sweet man.

Durning December last year I attended the last meet up with the mental health group before Christmas and was waiting for the bus back home. While I was in town I'd brought a bag of chocolate Christmas coins and I thought it'd be fun to pay for my bus ticket with chocolate coins (as a joke, I fully intended to pay with actual money obvs). But I got nervous and decided not to, putting the chocolate coins back in my coat pocket. Around five minutes later the bus comes around the corner and approaches the stop, and who do I see? None other then my regular bus driver!!

I was so happy! I literally did a little bounce on the pavement as the bus gradually got closer, I had never been so happy to see a total stranger before. I hoped onto the bus and as I was the only one at the stop me and the bus driver chatted a bit before I paid for my ticket, he explained he'd simply been sick and had taken time off work (which I was relieved to hear, ontop of thinking he had possibly retired I was terrified he had maybe been in some kind of bus accident. The bus driver isn't old old but he's not young so I feared he might have gotten hurt) when I jokingly asked where he'd been

Already knowing my destination, he inputted my stop on his little bus ticket machine thingy and then asked for the money. I, very enthusiastically, pull out two chocolate golden coins from my pocket and proudly present them to him. The bus drivers already present smile got even wider as he chuckled, accepting the two chocolate coins while I pulled out my card to give the actual payment

Now, I no longer attend that mental health group as I'm outside of the age range for participants, so I do not get the bus every Wednesday to and from town. I only get to see my bus driver at minimum once a week when I get the bus to work (then I get a lift back with family when my shift is finished). We still don't exchange many words beyond a friendly greeting and asking the other how our days so far have been, I don't know my bus drivers name and he doesn't know mine

But everytime I see the bus approaching the stop and I see it's him I smile, and when he sees me he returns one, I still say thank you when I get off the bus and he still wishes me a good day as I get off. I love being a regular on buses

To The Bus Driver - Jordan Bolton

[halibellecter]

AITA, Imp Agent Edition

I really can't tell if this is a reasonable thing or just a "typical Imperial citizen is going to be an asshole" thing. But today it was 26 degrees out when I was getting ready so I put on some pants that are light and thin, but very warm, or at least they are to me, because I can't tolerate heat at all. I've regretted it every single time I've worn them because they're okay for in the cold outside, but once I get inside they're too hot. I'm sweating, uncomfortable and irritable within minutes of getting too hot and that happens well before my work day is over.

I didn't have other pants clean except my scrub pants, which are nice but they're a little tight compared to something like the loungewear that I get away with as a top performing Cipher; so I've gotten used to not wearing them, or my closed toe shoes, unless I'm going into a clinic. So, the pants that I Should Not Have Worn. The Cassidy Legs, if you will.

I had a meeting with Rey this morning and her office is in the middle of the building, so by the time I got out of there-- 0830 to almost 1200-- I was dying. I'd already gotten dry mouth and gotten a drink, after finishing a whole pint of adrenals on the way in. I was miserable. But I was headed back to my desk.

My desk is by a window and by a door and under a vent. Normally that helps but right now the vent is set to heat. Even though I've got a desk fan that blows directly into my face, it isn't enough, and I'm still hot if the heat is on. I've actually gotten lobster red and lightheaded and not all there before from it-- and the temperature in the room at the time was only 75. My other coworker Padme had to rescue me.

I've never changed the thermostat before-- Padme did a few times but I explicitly told her she didn't need to, because everyone else that I work with gets cold easily. But today I was tired and hadn't had breakfast and stressed about new workload, and decided to risk it. I changed the setting from heat to cool and lowered the set point-- it was set to 72 or something similar, but was actually reading as 74 in the room-- to 65.

Enter my other coworker, Vic. She sees me walk back to my desk from the thermostat that I finally broke down and adjusted because I was repeatedly told it's fine, and she asked if I lowered it. Yep. I did. I'm dying. She gives me this big sad basset hound face and hops up to go look at it and fix it.

Here's where I might have been the asshole.

When Vic was changing the thermostat, she said, oh no no, 65 is too much, nobody wants that. WelI, I did. That's why I fucking set it on that. I was showing RESTRAINT because I'm an Imperial officer. You're lucky I didn't set it on 53 and prop the damn door open, because that's what I WANTED to do.

I think she put it on 70? something like that. A few degrees cooler than what it had been and NOT on cold, on heat.

This is where I think a reasonable person probably would've acted differently. That's a compromise, she's already uncomfy and is making room for me, I can't have it all my way, that's not fair! I should've asked permission maybe(?) and being able to compromise is the very next best thing. Maybe I should've even apologized to Vic for putting it so low.

Instead, I got so, so irrationally angry about this. I turned it back up to 75 because I couldn't stand her going, like, "let's put it on a middle temperature and see how it goes" (paraphrased but she did say let's see how it goes), you are not a parent and I am not 6 and asking for a puppy, you do not get to tell me, another adult who is not your subordinate, something as patronizing and condescending as "we'll see". I'm sure she didn't mean it like that. I, however, cannot get that lack of intent to matter to my amygdala and greater limbic system. I didn't SAY anything except "no, it's really okay, I forgot that you get cold so easy" (and I kinda had tbh) and something like "I've got my fan, I'll be fine!" I was pleasant to Vic throughout the exchange and did not show anger.

So now it's set warmer than it was when I came in just to make a point that I will NOT compromise. I will either have control and have it 100% exactly my way or I will suffer and it will be everyone else's fault for questioning me and taking away my control. Fuck you, now I'm miserable and it's your fault.

I did realize after a minute that I might be able to go into a mission briefing room and set the temp in there to get comfortable, so I did do that, and even checked it in our system to see if anyone was using it today and nope, it's clear all afternoon. So I booked it, the entire 2-3 dozen person room, just for me, all to myself, set up my datapad and my stuff to work on my next mission, set the thermostat to my liking, and went to lunch. I'm back now, I've had something to eat, the room is on 65 with the AC blasting and I'm sitting way back from the corner, away from the door, directly under a vent, comfortable with my cold drink and much calmer... but I'm starting to wonder... was I the asshole?

[starsthoughtsonthings]

Little bits of info before the thing: Another piece of writing from me. Taking place, I don't know, say there's more than one time of rest between the Shadow-Cursed Lands and Baldur's Gate. Topic: Uh... I don't want to "spoil" what happens in the piece. It's about a nightmare, and it's from our favourite vampire, so there's certain things you can expect. Nothing too specific though, I'd say, and it's more about my girl than him. This got out of hand from what I planned initially, so it's a bit longer than my other writings I think.

Another night, another little bit closer to Baldur's Gate. The group had left the Shadow-Cursed Lands behind (now they were no longer cursed, though) and they were going to reach the city soon. Right now, it was time to rest, and for Kori that meant trancing while she was watching Astarion taking a proper rest by sleeping. They weren't doing it each night - sometimes, he insisted that she should get some sleep instead of trance herself again 'since she liked it so much' - but they did it rather frequently, and honestly, Kori didn't mind exchanging sleep for trance when she could instead make sure that someone she cared so much for would find some rest. Especially since that included her being able to cuddle up with him for the night, which she always very much enjoyed and loved to have the chance to. He didn't seem quite as peaceful tonight while he slept - Kori could only assume it was because they were getting closer and closer to Baldur's Gate, and at that, to Cazador too. Still, though, the night progressed normally and she did her best to be a soothing presence for him. She could only hope he wasn't actually having a nightmare of being back in that situation, and try to be as comforting as she could - gently caressing his hair, humming a little occasionally when he seemed particularly restless - to make his sleep easier, perhaps nicer.

Eventually, though, it was high time for her to trance to ensure that she too was well-rested for tomorrow. Kori frowned at the thought of stopping to ease his sleep. It was difficult to say if what she did even affected his sleep at all, but there was the nagging thought that, what if it does help, and she stops now, will it descend him into nightmares? Will he stop doing sleep once that brings him back to Cazador too? Will he go back to not resting at all again, if that happens? She considered to just not trance and keep doing this instead, but he would notice in the morning that she's utterly exhausted and then it would also be possible that he'd refuse to keep doing it because, as much as he wouldn't always admit to it, he did care that she took care of herself too. And of course, not resting at all would be a risk for their adventures tomorrow, too. No, she had to at least trance, and she had to start now if she wanted to still finish a session. "I need to trance now, too, my love... I'm still here, always with you, I will be at your side..." she quietly whispered as she got herself ready for trance. Her thoughts were with Astarion as she slipped into trance - she wondered what he might be dreaming, and hoped, perhaps prayed to no one in particular that he would be able to keep dreaming at least something not too nightmareish even without her actively soothing him from outside.

---

Something was wrong about this trance.

Kori would have assumed it would be another time of meeting the mysterious being that shielded the group from the control of the tadpoles, but this wasn't the area that it happened in. This wasn't a starry purple sky (not that it really was a sky, of course, with it being a place between the planes) and rocks floating in nowhere - this was a mansion. But... she shouldn't see herself somewhere else, in the first place. She was trancing, she should still be aware of her surroundings and very certainly not find herself in an area, a building, she didn't even recognize. Maybe she could just stop the trance and get out of this by waking herself, but what if this place was something important? Maybe connected to that dream figure, or perhaps to the whole mess with the tadpoles or the cult, and somehow she was seeing more here than she should? It was possible that she could find useful information for herself and her companions here. She had to at least take a look around, no matter how much this 'trance' rang her internal alarm bells.

Deciding to go one way, Kori intended to move, but her body turned the other way and she moved the different direction from that she had wanted to. This wasn't her place to move in, it seemed; someone else was in control of whatever this was. That still wasn't a reason for her to break her trance though - or try if it was possible - because it could still give her the chance to learn some things, if this was an important place somehow. And important enough it surely looked, with the red carpet lining the whole way, and a lot of fancy furniture, curtains and decorations on the walls. It was a bit very much, for Kori's taste, and how there were no windows she came across did make it feel a bit eerie too, and rather... oppressive, perhaps. Still, she followed where she apparently was supposed to go, along the hallways and past a few doors, until she stood in front of a larger door, that opened just as she reached it.

Behind this was what most likely was a ballroom of sorts, a big chandelier at the ceiling and more of the red carpet lining a way across the room. In one corner, she spotted a small stage with a few instruments, the other side of the wall was lined with more curtains - perhaps hiding windows? - but her focus was quickly on what was straight ahead of her, at the other end of the red carpet. A few steps led to a slightly raised part, where there were two rather plush chairs and one in the middle that was even more, almost looking like a throne. Beside that throne, there was Astarion, kneeling - and someone was sitting on the throne. Kori didn't actually know the man, but given the extravagance of this place, the whole situation and Astarion's wide, fearful eyes when he noticed Kori, it wasn't hard to guess who it was. Cazador.

Her mind raced, trying to figure out what exactly this was. She knew she was trancing, she knew there was no way this was real, but what exactly was this, then? And who was in control of whatever this was? While thinking about it, Kori found herself walking up to the two vampires, stopping just before the steps in front of the throne. She looked at Astarion, wanting to say something, but she found she couldn't make herself speak either. And Astarion seemed just as frozen in position, too, though that might rather be the case because of where they were - and with whom. Was this some form of attack from Cazador? Some form of using his... mental connection to... get to Astarion, and for some reason Kori along with it, while he was sleeping? The way Astarion clearly seemed under control despite the tadpole, was Cazador controlling this?

Cazador got up and approached Kori, and she had to urgently and repeatedly remind herself that she was trancing, that this wasn't, couldn't be, real, to not shiver in fear. Not that she was afraid of him just like that, she was more angry and would like to attack him for what he did to Astarion all these years - but this was a... whatever exactly it was, where she couldn't move herself nor even speak, which made it very different from how an encounter in person would likely go. No, right now she was a part of whatever this was, and not in control of herself, and that somehow meant she could only feel fear towards the man. Despite knowing this couldn't be real, that this was some form of illusion or simulation, she could almost feel the simple presence of Cazador so close to her making her utterly uncomfortable. He grabbed her chin tightly and moved her head around as if to examine her, and Kori couldn't get herself to even try to slap him away. She could glare at him in response, at least, but that didn't seem to bother Cazador. "You picked a pretty one, at least," he spoke, though he clearly wasn't talking to Kori. He tilted her head sideways, his other hand moving some locks of her hair away, revealing the bite marks Kori had from the frequent times she offered herself to Astarion. "And clearly, you seduced her quite well, to have her allow your fangs in her so often." To these words, Astarion gasped, but he didn't actually speak up. "Did you enjoy your time of rebellion, boy? You know what to expect now that you broke every single one of my rules, don't you?" Cazador was still focused on Kori, but spoke to Astarion, who Kori couldn't even look to from how her head was tilted. "Just... let her go. Please." Kori's heart clenched hearing how afraid and desperate Astarion sounded. Having her here with him, and somehow both of them in Cazador's control, must be utterly horrible for him. A... hold on. A nightmare. Of course! That was what this was! This whole situation was no attack, it was a nightmare, it was Astarion's nightmare, he was in control of this thing and it was because it was his nightmare that she couldn't control herself - she was just a part of this, just somehow actually being in here consciously and not just as a creation of his mind.

Realizing this, Kori tried to speak again, to somehow wrestle herself a little control over the whole scene just to at least try to assure Astarion that all of this was not real - but she couldn't make herself even open her mouth. "Why would I do that, when you put in so much effort to bring her here? I wonder what to do with one you are so affectionate towards." His hand moved to Kori's throat, and he squeezed a little, causing Kori to briefly forget that this all wasn't real and grab for his hand in a gasp. "Should I kill her while you watch? Maybe have her endure some of the things you are familiar with, better yet have you do them to her, and have her find her end through these ways slowly? Or perhaps I should invite her to the family?" Kori found her mouth opening, to let out a whimper, and she tried hard to get a tiny amount of control to at least try to say something. "A-Astarion, this isn't-" To her surprise, for just a moment, she actually managed to speak, too, but then her mouth closed without her control again and she couldn't continue. It didn't seem like her words registered with Astarion, either, or at least he showed no signs of having noticed her talking. Maybe anything that her version within this nightmare of his wasn't supposed to say got, like, filtered out from his own perception, or something? But that was just a guess, she wouldn't stop trying yet. Still holding her by her throat, Cazador tilted her head away again and leaned in towards her neck. Kori trembled involuntarily, though she wasn't sure if it was something the version of her within this nightmare was supposed to do anyway or if it actually was her own reaction. "No!" Kori could almost feel the smirk that grew on Cazador's face - so close to her neck - to Astarion's pleading shout. In this situation, in this nightmare, she was just a tool to be used against Astarion. All orchestrated by himself, by his mind, because that was how nightmares worked, and knowing that he was basically doing this to himself only made it worse. Kori wished she could do something to make it better right here, so she had to keep trying. The thought crossed her mind that maybe she even made it worse, maybe she - or a version of her from his mind - wouldn't even be here if she wouldn't somehow, however that was possible, have entered his nightmare, and thinking that hurt because making things worse was the opposite of what she wanted; but she couldn't afford to waste time thinking about that now.

She kept telling herself that this wasn't real, but either however she got into here arranged it so that she was feeling what the nightmare-version of her was supposed to feel, or it was just very very intimidating of a situation with how she could barely control anything and was in the hands - quite literally, right now - of that bastard; it was very difficult to stay aware of this being an illusion and that she had no reason to actually feel afraid. Would it work to use her magic in here? Oh, the satisfaction it would give - she imagined it would, at least - to blast that grin right off with a sunbeam. But she couldn't even choose to move or talk, so it wouldn't really be possible, right? And if she would try, since technically she was trancing, what if she ended up casting her magic outside of this and caused some chaos or damage in camp? No, she couldn't risk it. But what could she do? Just being in here and sharing in his nightmare wasn't going to make anything better, even feel wrong since dreams - and as that nightmares too - were a rather personal thing and it wasn't like he invited her in. There was still the option to break her trance, or try if she could, and then either wake Astarion or try to soothe him out of this nightmare again. But... it would be nice to be able to change something from within. Wasn't it said that when one was aware that they were dreaming, they were able to shape the dream to their desire? Maybe if she could somehow get Astarion to realize that this was his nightmare and nothing real, maybe then he could just think the situation different and bring this to an end he'd like to see instead of suffering further. That sounded like a rather surreal idea, but being consciously in someone else's nightmare wasn't exactly something ordinary, either.

The nightmare reminded Kori that she was still very much in it when she suddenly found herself gasping for air - the grip around her throat tightened. She realized she had gotten lost in her thoughts for a few moments and somehow managed to tune out the whole situation, probably a bunch of talk between the two vampires, too. She would feel bad for that, too, if she wouldn't suddenly be too busy panicking over not being able to breathe properly. It was only an illusion, everything here, just a creation of the mind, surely she wouldn't be able to actually die here or need air, but even though she tried to remind herself of that, she couldn't stop the panic and the desperate struggles as she tried to grab and loosen the hand that was holding her. The longer she lacked air, the less sure did she feel about not being able to die here. Her vision started to blur and she could feel tears in her eyes. Vaguely, she could hear both Cazador's and Astarion's voices, but somehow she couldn't quite understand them no matter how hard she tried. Was it the lack of air? Was she simply not supposed to understand them? Kori couldn't figure it out. Just as she began to struggle to keep consciousness, she was thrown to the ground, and left gasping for air for some moments. Her mouth was open, she should consider attempting to talk to Astarion again, but right in this moment, the need to get back to feeling like she could breathe again was more important. Once she finally felt like she was okay again, she found herself still gasping - and whimpering - even though she didn't really feel the actual need for it. Probably part of the nightmare-situation. But it was good, because it meant her mouth was still open, and she could still try to talk. She could still not move, so she couldn't actually look over to Astarion or see what Cazador was doing, but it didn't really matter either. Perhaps it was even better that she couldn't see. The words she could hear were making sense again now, too, and even though she should take any moment of chance she had to try to talk and reach Astarion, she stopped and listened. "You chose her just like you chose all the others. You knew this was where she would end." "No! I didn't - she isn't-- I'll do anything. I'll be yours again. Please, just let her go." "You were never not mine, boy. You were just running, and disobedient, and I will remind you of your place." She could hear Astarion whimper, but couldn't tell if that was just out of fear and despair or if Cazador actually did something to him. "When you and your siblings fulfill your purpose of my ascension, I will require new spawn. Perhaps that shall be her place, hmm? My new, first spawn."

Okay. She heard enough. She had to try to stop this, now. Her mouth still open, Kori used the chance to speak. "Astarion..." Somehow, she sounded much weaker than she wanted to sound. "You are having a nightmare, listen to me, please hear me! This isn't real! This will never happen, we will-" Her sentence broke into a scream when she was lifted up from where she was lying on the ground by her hair. He pulled her up just enough to bring her onto her knees, then let go of her hair again. Kori could see Astarion again now, but it was impossible to tell if her words actually reached him or not. "Such a weak, foolish girl... did you really think such a useless piece of cattle would be able to aid you in defeating me?" A hand went around her throat again, and Kori gasped because her nightmare version was supposed to, but she herself wanted to glare and curse at him. Oh, if only she could risk trying to use her magic. "This is only in your mind! We aren't really here!" She gasped out despite her lack of air, unable to see Astarion as Cazador was right in her face. Kori tried to speak more, to try to reasonably explain that this can't be real because she wouldn't just hold still like that and that Astarion too had no reason to stay kneeling like that since he still had the tadpole - but she could only let out a few noises as her remaining airflow was too little to still speak. Somehow, there was still enough air within her to cry out when suddenly she felt a dagger sink into her side. He pulled the dagger out again and let go of her throat, and for a moment Kori thought that she would just be left there to bleed for a bit while he'd go back to taunting Astarion, but then instead a hand dug its way into the fresh wound. Kori found herself sobbing and screaming at the same time, it burned and hurt and she tried to tell herself that this was all not real but it felt real and she could barely even keep thinking straight from how horrible this was. "Astarion, please! You can change this situation!" It was almost impossible to get out words, but Kori tried with all she had in her. "You aren't under his control! You won't ever be again!" There was still no way for her to tell if her words even reached Astarion in here, and it was getting harder and harder to choose to stay and attempt to change this nightmare from within. The hand within her wound twisted and clawed - the pain was already much too much but this made it even worse. Kori still tried to stubbornly hold on and stay and keep trying to change something while being in here, but the urge to get herself out of this was starting to get stronger than her stubbornness. Cazador retreated his hand now, leaving Kori to only sob and at least not cry from the pain anymore. If she could have moved her hands, she would have sunk her face into them to just let out some more cries without them being as heard. Instead, she watched through teary vision how he licked her blood off his hand. "Ah, the tingle of magic within the blood. A sorceress, is she?" The way how he never even actually spoke to her even when talking about her blood and very much still looking oh so haughtily down at her only increased Kori's anger at the man, but of course, there was nothing she could do with it right now. Cazador came closer again, his face approached her neck, and she could feel that it wasn't only to taunt Astarion this time. No. No. No, she wouldn't be able to take that. It was only a nightmare, it was nothing real, but, but she couldn't. Not that. She couldn't experience that, not if she could avoid it. Kori would have tried to talk to Astarion once more, but it happened too fast, and she could sense the fangs next to her neck. She couldn't stay, she had to break her trance (and hope it'd be possible, even), she had to get out of this before--

"NO!" Kori woke with a shout, immediately sitting upright and panting. One of her hands moved to her neck, the other to her side, before she was even quite aware of everything again. In the distance, Shadowheart was looking over with clear concern, and once she settled a little from the experience, Kori quickly shook her head and forced a little smile, to reassure her companion that nothing was wrong. It wasn't really nothing, but it was nothing that the rest of the camp would need to worry about. "Darling...?" Kori's focus went to Astarion, who she had jostled out of his position of cuddling with her when she suddenly jumped to an upright position. She just looked at him without saying anything for a few moments, and he showed worry about her, but... she could see no sign of him being shaken about what she was so sure must have been his nightmare. Was he that good, that quick, to shake off - or at least put a facade over - even something that might have been his first ever nightmare (since, until she convinced him to, he never tried sleep and instead tranced, and that wasn't really making nightmares a thing)? Had it perhaps not been his nightmare after all? "What's wrong, Kori?" He asked again, and Kori was silent for another moment. "I... you... did... did you just have a nightmare?" She still was a bit shaken, so making a full sentence took another few moments of collecting herself. He chuckled lightly, and adjusted his position to sit next to her and look at her. "I should be asking you that. You just woke up with a start, not me." "I... yes, I did, but it wasn't - I was trancing!" She took a deep breath, and decided to stop justifying herself - that wasn't the point here. It wasn't her nightmare, it couldn't have been; she couldn't have made up so many things she didn't even know about, surely, and it was - should be - impossible to have nightmares when trancing in the first place. Her eyes meeting his, Kori just had to ask again. "Did you just have a nightmare? Where I was in, too, and we both were..." She never liked to even bring it up, the place, the name, or all that he must have been through all these horrible years. But if she wasn't making it specific, he might not admit to it and just say she had her own nightmare, which can't have been the case. "... and we were both in that place, I can only assume is his palace? With that red and gold carpet and that throne-like chair in the, ballroom?" Astarion's expression changed, to a more surprised one, and that alone was enough of an answer for Kori already. It had been his nightmare. "How... how do you know that?" His eyes widened as he realized something about the timing of her waking. "You- you woke up just as-" "Yes. I was there," Kori nods, her voice just slightly still trembling. She knew what his next question would be, she was wondering that too. "I don't know how. I was trancing, I didn't even sleep, it shouldn't be possible to be in a dream, much less in someone else's dream." "Nightmare." "Yes, nightmare, but still. I just... as soon as I started to trance, I ended up... there." Astarion reached out to grab her hands - she hadn't even noticed that they were trembling; no, that she was trembling as a whole, until he took her hands into his. "You... were there? You saw, you felt, what was happening to you in... in there?" She nodded, and his expression became even more worried, or perhaps guilty. "No wonder you're shaking." Kori leaned forward a little and slightly moved her arms apart, and he understood her silent gesture and leaned in too so she could wrap her arms around him in a hug. One much more for herself than for him, for once. It helped calm her down, and after a few more moments she was at least not really trembling anymore. "That's terrible, darling. I... I'm not going to let that happen again."

There it was, the conclusion that Kori expected him to make, the conclusion that she very much had wished to never come. One bad dream, and he was going to give up on sleeping - perhaps on resting at all, again. She was still shaken from the experience, but she tried to push those feelings away, and stopped hugging him to look at him again. "What? No!" "You were in there. You got hurt, and badly, because of my nightmare. I am used to these... situations, but I won't risk subjecting you to them." "I-I'm not hurt! It was only in there, it's not real." "You didn't get hurt physically here, but you still went through it. It still hurt you, at the very least mentally." He paused, and then, as if that would convince her to accept his decision, added: "I promise I'll still trance, enough to be decently rested." Kori frowned. He suggested this because he wanted to keep her from experiencing such pain or horror, and that was touching, but... "It was only one time. Nightmares don't happen often." "They'll probably happen a lot, now that we're getting so close." "But... if you trance, you are there every time." Maybe not every single time anymore now, since they had travelled a bit of time together already and maybe every now and then his trance would go to these fresh memories instead, but it was probably still a slim chance. "Your dreams were nice before tonight, weren't they?" Astarion didn't seem to want to admit it, and didn't answer for a moment, but then nodded. "Yes. But that doesn't matter. I'll take being there alone everytime over you being there with me even only once in many times." "I..." He had been able to hide it very well before when he didn't rest at all. He just now promised to her he would keep doing trance instead of sleep, but that was no actual guarantee. And Kori could understand it, she wouldn't want to trance either if that - or worse - was what it returned him to. She couldn't accept that suggestion. "I know the place now. If it happens again, I can always break my trance before anything happens, and never suffer in your nightmare." "And if it's a different part of his palace? That you don't know yet, and wouldn't recognize? Or you don't have the chance to break your trance, or you end up in pain right away before you can even realize where you are?" He shook his head. "I won't risk it, darling. I refuse to be a reason for you to suffer." "Then..." She was at a loss for ideas, really, but she couldn't not keep suggesting other ways. "We... we can ask around. There have got to be ways to make nightmares less likely. Maybe with a good distraction before sleep. Or I'll figure out how it was even possible that that happened, and we make sure I can't enter your nightmares again." Come to think of it, there was only one way how it could have happened, right? - That was an idea. Maybe she could convince him like that. "It must have been the tadpole, somehow. We still have that ring from Omeluum, that blocks the powers of the tadpole somewhat. I can put it on before trancing - then it shouldn't happen anymore!" Their eyes met, and for a moment they just looked at each other in silence. "Why are you so desperate about assuring my rest?" he sighed after a moment. "All right, since you are so stubbornly insisting. But if it happens another time, even if only for a moment or you manage to leave again immediately - I will stop doing this." Well... that was already much more than she had expected to be the result. Kori smiled, and nodded. "That sounds fair." And next time she would see that he wasn't sleeping well, maybe she would consider waking him for some made-up reason to prevent both him and her from having a nightmare of his again. Maybe that could work.

Now that that was settled, Kori took a few deep breaths to calm herself. There was one more question she had about the whole nightmare, so she figured it was good to ask it now before they'd try to settle into resting again. "You didn't hear me at all, in there, did you?" An eyebrow raised, Astarion didn't seem to understand what she meant, which already basically answered her question. "I heard you scream and cry more than enough." "No, I... that's not what I meant. While I was part of it, I tried to make you realize it was only a nightmare. I talked to you." More like shouted or cried out, but, she didn't want to be that specific. "No, I didn't hear any of that. It's probably not how a nightmare works." "Of course." It was good to know anyway, for if it would happen again. There'd be no point in trying to reach out to him.

Both of them were silent for a moment, and as she found herself somewhat calm again, Kori laid back down once more, her gaze silently inviting Astarion to join her again too. He did so without much hesitation, and she smiled a little. "You know that will never happen, right?" "Mmh?" "The scene your nightmare painted. Any of those moments where you imagine yourself back there." Astarion had his head rested against her chest again, close to her heart, but he did raise his head a little to look up at her to her words. "You always sound so sure when you say things like that. But you can't actually know how things will happen." "Maybe not. But I know that I won't accept any different outcome. None of us will, and I don't mean just us two. I mean all of us." Kori gestured vaguely to try to point at the rest of the camp without really moving away from her position. "You know how stubborn I can be. And I'll simply refuse to end up in such a situation, or let you end up in it again. And I'm sure the others agree on that." They might not be as close to him, likely not know all the details Kori knew, but everyone of this group were friends with each other, at the very least to some degree. "That still doesn't change my point. You can be stubborn all you like, if things go wrong, there's no changing it just by refusing to accept it." Kori was silent for a moment, trying to think of something else to convince him that these nightmares will never come true. She considered suggesting that before worst comes to worst, they could always take some of the poisons they collected throughout their journey and end things right there, but Kori knew she would never be able to do that - not before things got too bad to likely still have the option, at least. There was always a chance that things would still get better again before the worst happened, so taking poison would mean losing that chance... and besides, she was really hoping for a future together with Astarion. "I don't know what to say. I'm ready and willing to deplete my magic for the rest of my life if necessary," if that was even possible since her magic was a natural part of her, "to ensure everything ends well for all of us. And especially to ensure that that bastard dies, preferrably very painfully and by your hands." That gets a chuckle out of him. "Darling! Am I finally rubbing off on you? You never wished a horrible death on anyone before." Grinning, Kori shrugged. "There aren't many exceptions, but he definitely is one." She reached out and took one of his hands into hers. "I know it's just hopeful speaking, and maybe I'm just too optimistic. But I promise you, everyone of us will do everything to never let these things your nightmare showed you come true." His hand adjusted slightly to interlace his fingers with hers, and he got comfortable again. "I'll never understand how you can be so utterly positive all the time." Kori didn't have an explanation for it either, so she didn't say anything to it. It was night anyway, and they probably should try to rest some more, so lying together like this without further talking was probably for the best. "Are you going to try to sleep some more?" As if to remove one possible argument against it, she raised her other hand into his field of view to show the ring she had put on before they laid down again. "It shouldn't happen again, although I hope it won't happen simply because you won't have another nightmare in the first place." He gave her a small smirk as she so quickly showed the ring, and then nodded. "Of course you have the answer to the first thing I'd bring up already. You're impossible." She didn't respond, waiting for him to confirm - or not - that he was going to try to sleep some more, and after a moment, he sighed. "Alright. But only because I know you won't continue your trance unless I do. And you need to be well-rested." They fell silent again now, and soon enough, found sleep and trance again.

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Notes:

Ever since I wrote that piece about sleep instead of trance and Kori convincing Astarion to try it, I knew I had to write something about a nightmare of his, too. I initially planned for the nightmare to be something more on the nonsensical side (idk, those nightmares where you need to interpret what they mean, like falling or, idk I can't think of anything right now I'm sorry), but then as I wrote this it somehow turned into Kori becoming part of his nightmare and of course the nightmare being very much not as nonsensical and much more of a direct nightmare.

It took me longer to write this than my other two writings on here so far. I had multiple moments of hitting a roadblock along the way of writing this, I'm not sure why.

The more I stare at this and re-read it to fix things, the more I'm telling myself to not even post this, so before I end up convincing myself to delete a thing I wrote a good while on, I'm gonna save it and click post now.

I feel like this won't really be interesting to people, it's not exactly about him and more just a cute little scene at the end there with my girl and him (and then of course not as well-written as the things many others can write), but yeah. I need to throw this out anyway, and I told myself to use tags so they're attached anyway too.

My usual insecurities apply about how I feel this isn’t very good, how I feel my writing is absolutely not as good as I would hope it to be, and how I don't know much about DnD and stuff. I feel like my writing especially lacks on the emotional front, but I don't know how to fix that.

I've said it before, I don't know much about elven trance, I'm assuming that trance doesn't do nightmares since from what I understand it only does bring the elf back into memories, so while I assume bad memories are very possible, nothing like nightmares that are actually showing something else/new are in the possibilities while trancing.

I’m not a native english person, so if there’s anything that isn’t quite how one would commonly word it, that’s probably because I simply don’t know how it’s usually said. I’d appreciate tips on things that sound too, I don’t know, “unnatural” or whatever, but of course don’t be mean or anything.

If it isn’t obvious, I made Astarion’s dialogue red, and Kori’s dialogue green. Both based on their eye colors, I suppose.

[ethereal-engineer]

A Story To Tell

"I needed to tell you my story, but I was scared of how you'd react to the raw truth, so I twisted it with metaphor, and tied it into narrative, concealing the thread of my life within, until you were ready and able to know."

"Well, look how far we've come. We've gone farther than either of us ever believed possible. I think I'm ready. So, won't you tell me a story?"

"Sure, just remember that the specifics may shift from one retelling to the next, and the story as a whole's gotten a little longer since I told it last. It's been an eventful few years, y'know."

"Quit stalling and tell the damn story already!"

"Alright, alright! Our story begins with a young boy named Joseph. He was a taller fellow, even in youth, with curly copper hair and eyes green as grass. However, if you listened well, you might hear the hiss of a piston coming from where one would expect a muscle, or the low rumble of a boiler emanating from his chest, for he was made not from flesh and blood, but of metal and steam. Of course, at a glance, he was just like any boy of his age, albeit a little quiet, which his parents treated as a blessing more often than not.

Joseph went through his primary schooling, learning his numbers well and his words well enough, but there was one thing he could never quite get his grip on. People shied away from him, and muttered behind his back. Whispered names crossed the yard, those of 'unnatural', 'inhuman', 'freak' and many more I'd not repeat to my worst enemy."

"Not even to Scarlotte?"

"Okay, maybe to her, although she hits hard if you piss her off, so maybe not. Either way, this unstopping barrage caused Joseph to begin building a kind of mental wall, a way to keep himself safe against those who would tease him. And so he withdrew, and any time something breached his defenses, he built the wall tougher and taller. As he went into secondary, the gap between him and his classmates only grew, as although most of his class had matured past name-calling and petty insults, new differences arose. As his classmates' hearts fluttered and Jumped, the boiler in his chest hummed unceasingly on. As their faces blushed, his stayed cold as steel. Joseph could not love romantically, and though he didn't mind not having to worry about the matters of love, once again, he was painted as different and inferior, for something he had no control over. On one fateful day, after Joseph grabbed his lunch and headed to a table in the corner to eat in peace, he saw someone approaching. He prepared himself for the usual questions of relationship advice, either newly started or abruptly ended, as although Joseph had little experience in the affairs of the heart, he was levelheaded and listened well, and could help one sort through their feelings if needed. Today, however, they simply sat and ate. They exchanged introductions, but even without words, Joseph knew that she too, was more than a normal person. She was rough about the edges, bold and brash. She was everything he wasn't. She was moulded of clay and wood, and her name was Sophia."

"Ooh, is that me?"

"Last I checked your name wasn't Sophia."

"And yours wasn't Joseph."

"And unlike our protagonists, we are both made of flesh and blood."

"You know what I meant! It's your meta-something-or-other!"

"Okay, let's get back to the story. Joseph and Sophia continued to sit together at lunches, and slowly, together, they pulled down the walls they had erected to keep themselves safe, finally able to show their colours without fear of backlash, and even if they did, they would face it together. Over the years, they became closer, and soon enough there were no two friends closer than the golem and the automaton. Occasionally, someone might ask if they were 'more than friends', to which they would reply "Friends is enough for us, thank you very much" and walk off."

"Well this is all well and good, but what happens next?"

"What happens next is they finish their schooling, neither passing with flying colours, but both doing well enough to get where they needed to go. I'd go further into detail, but I barely remember myself, and even if I did, trying to show all of that, we'd miss the sunset with me still talking. And so, as the first chapter of their lives came to an end, they stayed in touch. They met together often, laughing and generally having fun spending time with each other. And one day, a letter arrived in Joseph's mailbox. It was an invitation to a small, two day hike, from Sophia. And so he prepared, and they met at the bottom of a hill a few days later. It was warm, but not hot, as summer gave way to autumn. So they walked, talking about life since they'd last met up, which was roughly two weeks prior, about jobs, and anything inbetween. Sophia had gotten a position in the local news, as an editor, and Joseph was selling his art in the market square. And as they reached the top of the hill, they unpacked tents and started a search for suitable firewood. Once they'd amassed a sizeable pile, they sat on the ground, facing the setting sun, and Joseph told a story."

"Well, that was wonderful. Wanna watch the sunset a while longer before we start that fire?"

"Yeah, that sounds nice."

[mysteriouslysporadicbasement]

He appeared from his room, freshly showered, towel round his neck. It took him 247 seconds more than usual to finish washing up. Was something the matter? Walked up straight to the sofa where I was sitting and took up the other end. He was not thinking straight. Where was the bottle of water he usually has?  The scent of citrus from his shampoo got on my nerves. He's using a new one. I needed to change mine too, then.

'What about dinner?'

The casualness of my tone was an irony. I'd serve him the meat off my back on a plate if he ever joked that he wanted it.

I fix my eyes on the bags under his eyes. He's tired. Men had a way of appearing unscathed in front of the world. The moment he stepped inside the house, all the exhaustion would show up on his features, like invisible ink surfacing under heat. I liked watching him like that. That meant he was comfortable in here. Even though we're just roommates. He didn't mind, me seeing him like this. Or maybe he couldn't care less. Either way, I'd take it. I'd take in his existence anyway I could.

'I ate.'

That's all he said. I wished he would elaborate. What did he eat, who did he eat with, was it good enough? I wanted to know more; from his mouth anyway.

His still form on the other side of the couch made him appear like a statue. He's looking at the TV screen. He was here yet he felt miles away from me. I wished to feel his gaze in my bones.

His shoulders are tense. I read the distress off him like my favorite riddles. This time of the semester are always hell. What could be bothering him today? Was it that professor who refused his submission for a 2-minute delay? Was it that exchange student that won't leave him alone? Was it his mother that never knew when to shut up over the phone?

All he had to do was give me a hint. Just a crumb, however little. The things I’d do for him could not be limited by anything humane or inhumane. Who knows, maybe I already have crossed those limits before. Nothing fazed me when it came to him. His unawareness of this fact only fueled my devotion.

"Whatever it is," I thought, "I'll find out myself. And I'll make it go away. I will take care of you; in ways you cannot imagine." Love, it was not. Mere love could never explain this. I wouldn't know what to do with him if this, whatever this is, was ever returned. The thought turned sour in my head. 'God, I hope not.'

'Today was your day off?' He was still distant. His eyes not moving once from the screen.

'Yes, I watched Netflix all day.' The lies rolled out of my tongue smoother than a recited script. I didn't watch Netflix all day. I watched him.

Off days meant my favorite entertainment. I watched him in the cafeteria, having dinner. I saw him buying an apple juice from the vending machine instead of Gatorade, because his insufferable mother told him to. I watched some girl bump into him because she was on her phone. He almost fell on his face. I did not like that. So, I had to take care of that too. I hope she'll learn not to glue her eyes on the phone all the time, if she ever gets a new one.

'You don't look well.' I voice out, feigning concern. Whatever he looked like, it always seemed the same kind of beautiful to me. 'It's nothing.' His eyes finally tore away from the screen. He smiled at me or tried to. His phone vibrated in his pocket. He checked the screen.

He sighed. His frown deepened.

One, two, three- deep lines appeared on his forehead.

He ran his hand through his hair in exasperation.

‘You wish you could do that, don’t you?’

I immediately cringed at the thought. No, I did not wish that.

I wished to keep him in a glass box in my room, so I could stare at him all day.

Untouched and Clean, all mine to admire.

'I'm...going to go to bed, my classes start early tomorrow.' He stood up and left without waiting for a reply. I knew who that was. He owed money to someone. The calls were getting frequent. He had enough time to sort it out himself, I decided then. I stood up.

I had errands to run.

I walked out into the chilly night, wrapping my coat tighter around me. It was dark out, shielding my surgical gloves from the questioning eyes of any passerby. The taser in my pocket never felt lighter.

Turns out, I was also in need of some money that I needed to borrow.

I patted the inside of my coat, feeling the thin blade in place. My second most prized possession. Very handy for keeping things discreet. I had tested it on myself, and it passed with flying colors. Knives only made things messy. One stroke of this, on a spot vulnerable enough, and it would bleed anyone’s lights out in 15 seconds, give or take.

'Maybe you could keep something of his, for your collection.'

My heart picked up at the thought. The blood pumping in my ear got louder. The pulse near my throat sped up. Maybe I'll go for the hands, to make it look like a suicide. That was safer.

‘But the sound out of his throat when the trachea is punctured deep enough, the cascading of the blood to the lungs; cutting off oxygen supply, the mouthwatering rich crimson painting the snow, and the eyes…oh, the eyes that’s going to give away his will to live a second longer and the fear, the regret, the pain-’, I breathed and stopped in my tracks to calm down.

'Haven't smiled this big in a while', the voice inside my head sneered.

I haven't, have I? Looks like Christmas came early this year.

[dnangelic]

her hand rests upon his amidst the exchanging vows of acceptance , and the great phantom thief's expression immediately softens . behind his gaze , his other's ; the open stretch of his palm shrinks while the size of kate's remains the same .

hopeless , yes , maybe , but never so helpless that the overwhelming confidence they kept in their occupation turned into a lie . he could have boldly hushed her , put a finger to the space of where any other girl's lips would have been , and told her gently not to fret , never over him . yet instead he only smiles a little --- lopsided , making him seem both sly and awkward in a way that lingers even after the features of his face have rounded out again , his heart pounding if not at her words then her hand's squeeze .

' if it's troubling , then we won't . but , for the sake of it ... ' his grounded determinations remains even beneath the timid-seeming words . ' when this is all over , kate --- when the mansion belongs to you again and is your home , can i take you to azumano ? to see mine ? ' he flushes , and though his words suddenly fast-hurry , they still manage to be said . ' n-not for any weird reason or anything ! i mean , i just think that dark and i will be in here so much , by the time everything's finished , i'll have memorized this place like the back of my hand . meanwhile , even though we're friends , it'd be a little weird and unfair if you didn't get to visit my house too , right ? '

even after being offered just about anything , even after being told that she wouldn't have accepted a decline , was something like this really alright ? ( ... if we were someone else , an offer like that would have been seriously dangerous . ) the niwa isn't sure why he needs so many reasons , either --- he spins them on plates in his mind , juggling odd-thoughts on his feet . ' i'm sure there'll be lots to do even after you've taken back the manor ... but there might be a time where you'd need or want a breath of fresh air and someplace to rest or walk , too . in that case , dark and i --- ' wanting for little if nothing else , ' we'd ... like that the most . it feels like it's been a really long time that i didn't become everyone's enemy and actually made a new friend , and i already promised i'd show you my art , so ... ' she could worry about him , but wouldn't he worry just as much over her ?

' you too --- please be careful . ' for just a moment , freedert flashes through his mind . ' i ... i don't want to lose someone who believes in me again . not before i've even shown them what it's like someplace else . '

ㅤㅤIN an instant, the sudden declaration had dispelled her rising anxieties and she found herself lifting her head towards his face, lips parting in surprise to witness such a bold smile from this meek self. No matter what she told them, warned them of the dangers of being involved of her, neither of their resolve had faltered because from the very beginning, they couldn't bring themselves to leave her alone.

ㅤㅤAh, she felt foolish. She should've known that was the sort of people they were if she took into account their kindness from the start but it was because they were so kind that she didn't want to take advantage of them without leaving them a choice. But in the end, they were the foolish ones; so utterly reckless and so hopelessly kind.

ㅤㅤBut as if to dissuade any more of her piling worries, Dark himself had stepped forward to say his piece; eager to showcase his determination, their loyalty to her from this moment on. " ... I would be troubled if you stole me away. " Was her first response, relief seeping into her smiling words. " ... You two are hopeless, aren't you ? Still determined to involve yourself in such a mess even after learning of the dangers of it all and without a thing to gain for yourselves ... all for my sake. " She slowly unfurled her fingers from the hem dress to cross her hands against her heart, as if take in the warmth within while she gazed upon Dark's candid expression.

ㅤㅤ" ... If you're truly confident that you won't get caught then, I'll put my faith in you. " She finally reached out to take his hand, gently curling her fingers into his own as she drew a step forward with the decision to entrust herself to their promise. " But if you end up doing something horribly reckless, I won't let either of you off easy. After all, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened to you two. " She squeezed Dark's hand. " ... If there's a chance that I can do something -- anything to repay you for your kindness then I would like to do what I can for the both of you. It wouldn't sit right with me if I couldn't do anything in return so ... you have my promise as well. I won't take no for an answer. "

[mochiswifey]

UGLY PRIVILEGE *REPOST*

YEAH. BECAUSE IF YOU'RE UGLY NOT EVEN CRIMINALS BOTHER YOU.

Y/N attends meetings with gang leaders in exchange for her father's absent. And her ugly privilege is the best.

Y/N (Gamer,runner,smartgirl) X KANJI MOCHIZUKI

CW: FLUFF/SMUT/ SLIGHT ANGST MDNI

1

You're not the prettiest girl. You've always known that. Compare to your sister you're average. But it's the best thing you could've asked for. You don't like criminals but sadly you're born in a crime family. After your father had a stroke and having no brother you had to step up and take over his position.

"You're fucking ugly where's your sister?" Sanzu says as soon as you entered the meeting room. "Rich coming out from a drug addict who obviously have abandonment issues." You know how to fuck with bullies and even though it's fucking mean he deserve every word you spat out.

"You're lucky-" "Can we just start the meeting?" You didn't let the mad dog finish.

"We can, but I'd appreciate if you bring your sister-" You let out an amused laugh. Mikey. The invincible Mikey. You hate him with your whole heart. You hate many things and betraying your friends is something you just can't accept. You learned that he killed every single one of his friends during his Toman era and you couldn't help but to feel hatred for him.

"Let's start this fucking meeting y'all fucking boiling the living bullshit-" The door opened and Uzui entered holding a head for you. The Bonten members doesn't know him but they're quite surprised to see such a huge man like him.

"Uzui San." You greet him with a genuine smile. Some members found it odd. You never smiled. You're either stoic or bitchy.

"I got the traitor for you." Uzui threw the traitors head and you caught it. The smell was horrible so you figured he killed the traitor a few days back.

"Thank you very much, what happened to the rest?"

"I burned them." You nodded and stood up from your chair bowing to him.

"I expect more from you kid." He says and you nodded. Uzui doesn't think you're pretty but he admires your skills and the way you almost killed him and that created a mutual respect between the two of you and that grew and became a friendship. He's more bold than you but in fights you two function well together. He influences you to be bold and you're getting there just a little bit more push.

"You've gotten taller." He points at you and you looked down. Maybe you did. You softly smile before waving him goodbye.

Being pretty isn't everything and you've learned that a long time ago. And you've come to accept most of your flaws. Your skin isn't shinning like glass nor it's perfect. It has some acne scars that even thick concealer can't cover but so what? Men doesn't look at you with desire like the way they look at your sister so what? You don't get chocolates or flowers often but what's wrong with being you? You enjoy eating out with your friends and shopping with them. You enjoy goofing around and you enjoy eating a lot. There's more to life than being pretty. And accepting you are not beautiful is your greatest weapon.

"Let's start shall we?"

2

"RED LIGHTS! STOP SIGNS! I CAN SEE YOUR FACE-" You were singing drivers license from the top of your lungs but you were interrupted when the meeting room doors open.

"What the hell? The meeting isn't supposed to start for another 2 hours." Your eyes red from the lack of sleep. You went a little too hard on partying and Kanji Mochizuki couldn't help but laugh.

"The fuck?" You rolled your eyes and adjusted your headphones back to your ears. You continued singing while your eyes close completely absorbed in Olivia Rodriguez's song. You don't hear her. You feel her.

You felt someone sat beside you and you immediately kicked your chair away from whoever the fuck it was and continued your good time.

"I still, I still love you babe...." You hear a muffled voice. You open your eyes and see Kanji staring at you with a smile on his face you mistook it for amusement. He signals you to remove your headphones but you didn't listen to him and turned your chair around.

"Know that I loved you so bad-" Your headphones were taken off of your ears. You look up to see Kanji standing behind you.

"Aren't you a little bit too old to be on drugs? The fuck do you want?" You snapped as you stand up. Harshly grabbing your headphones from him you didn't bother to hide your annoyance.

"You got a great voice." He expected you to blush and be flattered but nothing. You look at him as if he said something stupid.

"My sister isn't here right now."

"I'm not talking about her."

"So, this is how you wanna play the set me up game. Bruh." Kanji don't even know why he's suddenly talking to you. He just knows that he wants to.

"So, when you gonna tell her. That we did that too?" You continued singing ignoring the giant man.

"You like singing?" He tries to start a conversation. And a frown appeared on your face all you want is to be left alone.

"Listen man, you're too fucking early. The meeting ain't 'bout to start so just leave me alone will you?" But he doesn't listen. He tries talking to you and you let it enter your right ear and exit your left.

The other members were surprised that he took a liking on an average girl like you when he could get high class escorts prettier and more experience than you. He's genuinely interested but you only see his actions as a way to get into your sister's pants.

3

From that day he comes early to the meetings and gets upset when you're not in the meeting room.

"We can send my men from-" You were speaking about the latest plan to attack the new enemies when you stop because of the sudden pain from your abdomen. You try to mask your pain. Everyone thought you're just thinking but not Kanji. He knew something is wrong.

Two cans of monster and dry scooping was a mistake.

You laugh. Doing stupid things might be your greatest downfall.

"You good?" Uzui appeared out of nowhere surprising everyone including you.

"Y-yeah.. The fuck? I'm always good." You says even though your eyes are on the floor, your breathing heavy and sweat running down your forehead.

"Why are you here Uzui?"

"Saw some trespassers. Though I'd let you know."

"Dead?"

"Of course." He says proudly. You gave him a soft smile before gripping on the table trying to straighten your posture.

"I'll deal with the others myself-"

"You're not in the condition to fight." Kanji says quietly quietly concerned. The other bonten members are beginning to question their colleagues sanity.

"She's not even pretty why are you so fucking hooked?" Ran says and the other members laugh.

"Look. Stupid assholes. I could attack all of your childhood trauma but-" You rolled your eyes and sighed. Childhood Trauma.

"And also, do you remember you childhood crush? Suzuki-"

"OH FUCK NO! I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!" All of the pain and exhaustion disappears and was replaced by annoyance. You had one crush throughout your life and he made you question everything you've ever known and he made you hate yourself. But you learned that his opinion doesn't matter. You're over him but you don't like hearing his name which is impossible.

"I swear to the mother fucking gods, if you dare to say his name. I will fight you." You were never this loud. You dropped your stoic composed act and went on beast mode.

"Like literally, I will fight you. "

"Today."

"UZUI!" You screamed and hopped on the table running towards him but he was too quick to even catch up.

"Take a deep breath, 1. 2. 3. YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCH!!!!!!!!!!" The bonten members were amused and curious at the same time. But Kanji is infuriated. He though by the way you act you've never liked someone.

"I will fucking carve you eyes out." You gripped on your hair as you paced around on the top of the table.

"That's unnecessarily mean like... What the fuck is wrong with you Uzui? Goddamn, you woke up today and just decide to ruin my already fucked up day? What the hell. Don't fucking choose brutality for no reason." You talk to yourself.

"She's crazy." Sanzu whispers to Rindou and he nods.

"Fuck this meeting, I'll have someone tell you the details of my plan." You say without looking at them. You hopped off the table and went out of the meeting room. You don't like being reminded of him and that was visible.

"Hey." You heard Kanji's voice but you didn't turn around to look at him. He was meters away from you but with his longs legs it only took him a few strides to catch up with you.

"Fuck off dude." He grabbed your waist and slammed you to the wall you groaned and looked up to meet his lust filled eyes.

"W-wha I have two fucking presentation to finish, my liver is fucking failing. I'm contemplating suicide and you're here to fucking trick me into liking you just to get into my sister's pants? Bro. Gimme a fucking break. DAMN!" He chuckled bitterly shaking his head in disbelief.

"You still think I like your sister and not you?"

"Duh." He smashed his lips on yours. Your eyes widen and you were frozen. He liked your taste. Not overly sweet and just perfect for him.

"How about now?" He asked with a smirk on his face after assaulting your lips.

"You deserve an Oscar."

4

You still didn't believe him. You push him away and simply left him. He made his first step and that's a progress for him. He was planning to make his next move on the next meeting. He had flowers and chocolates for you but he was disappointed when your father showed up not you.

"That's for my daughter? Like Y/N? Are you for real?" Your father thinks you and your sister are the prettiest girls in the world but he knows you're not as pretty as his other daughter and he also knows you don't like criminals. So he was amused at Kanji's attempt of appeasing you.

"Yes sir." Kanji says seriously. Sanzu rolled his eyes and so does the Haitani brothers.

"Simping for that girl..." Mikey shakes his head.

"Well, she won't be here for awhile. She's busy doing her thing."

Kanji begged your father to tell him your location.

5

I'm gonna die. Like. I'm really gonna fucking die. I'm dying. I'm fucking dying.

Was all you could think of as you run. Your school is a motherfucker and requires all of the student to run 17 miles. If you don't run you won't be able to graduate. So you sucked the fucking exhaustion and continued the hell.

"HEY!" You look to your left just to see Kanji on his car, window rolled down and has a huge smile on his face. You thought you’re hallucinating so you ignored him.

"HEY! YOU CAN DO IT!" "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" You yelled even though you don't really think he's there with you. Kanji laughs and shut his mouth and continue to run his car along with your pace.

You're not pretty but one of your best traits is you don't give up. You're not a fast runner but you could suck all the pain up and continue to run in the same pace for a long time making you the lead runner in marathons. Before you know it you finished first.

You fell down to the ground as the teachers congratulates you.

"Oh my fucking god, I'm seeing stars. I'm seeing-" You close your eyes and laid down on the ground. You're covered in sweat and your breathing is fast. You're exhausted but content and felt that the hell was worth it because you finished first and because this is the last marathon for you. No more marathons in college. You were lifted from the ground and your rapid breathing slowly returns to its normal pace.

"You did well." You heard his voice. Another hallucination you though.

"Fuck, I'm hallucinating Gojo. I'm hearing voice." You spoke thinking it's your friend Gojo who lifted you from the ground.

"Who the fuck is that?" You remove your arms from your eyes and opened them.

"You?" Your face showed shock.

"You got any problem?" "You bet I do? Why are you even here in fucking Saitama? Aren't you-"

"I like you and I want you to be mine." He says and you rolled your eyes. "Look, I'll help you get a date with my sister just don't do this shit with me."

"You're dumb."

"Excuse me? I have a GPA of 4.8 and-"

"Then why can't you accept that I like you?" He says as he sats you down on one of the bench placed outside of your school far away from the finish line.

"Because you don't like me. What-"

"Case settled, you are dumb."

You have a hard time believing he actually likes you. He's older than you. He has seen your sister before. He's a criminal. And he stole your first kiss without even knowing it's your first kiss. You looked on the ground and started thinking.

"You're the one who's stupid. We never even bonded. How could you like me?" You calmly asked looking up to him your eyes squinted because of the blinding sunlight.

"Yeah, I thought about that too but feelings are strange don't you think?" He smiles squatting down in front of you.

"I like you and don't you dare say I don't because I do." You look at his eyes trying to figure his type of deception but as much as you hate to admit it. You couldn't see any lies. You hate love. You hate affection from new people. But time creates trust and bond so maybe if you give him just a little bit of your time you'll be able to trust him and he'll be able to make you fall in love with him.

6

You decide to have a date with him the following weekend. You sat in front of your vanity dressed in jeans and a simple white blouse. You tied your hair into a pony tail and decide to wear a simple pearl earrings. For the first time in years. You tried making yourself look pretty. And this whole ordeal reminded you of why you don't like going on dates. Because no matter what you do you're average to yourself.

"Hey." He placed his hands on your waist and kissed you. His heart skipped a beat when he saw you blushed. He took a step back to admire you. You're just a simple meat to yourself but to him. You're an A5 wagyu.

"I uh..." You grabbed his hand and pulled him inside your penthouse. You're not a regular player in the dating game and have absolutely no idea of what people do on dates other than the things your sister told you. It could end up good or bad. Or in bed. And you don't want the last option. Yet.

"I don't really know what people do on dates but I have video games." You says awkwardly as you point at your gigantic TV and PS5. He smiles and the two of you agreed on playing the latest horror games you have.

Kanji thought he'll have to take you on a shopping spree but he was wrong. Too wrong. You two spent hours playing together. And it's the first time he saw you truly smiling.

"Wait! Mochi! WAIT!" You yell trying to stop Mochi from entering the room. You're a horror game veteran and you're sure there's a jump scare waiting.

He likes the fact that you started calling him Mochi. And the fact that you're sitting on the floor caged between his legs trying to shield yourself from whatever monsters 'bout to come out on the video game you two- he's playing. You gave the controller to him after being jump scared too many times.

"Like seriously-" You screamed and wrapped your arms around his waist pushing his back to the couch after a monster appeared.

"I told you to wait." He laughs as he pats your head.

"F-Fuck, sorry baby girl." You chuckled as you unwrap your arms around his waist. It's been 5 hours. You two played Resident Evil. Outlast and free random shitty ass games.

7

After the two of you played you decide to cook dinner. You sat him on the kitchen stool as you prepare.

"I like you." He says his eyes full of adoration for you. You playfully rolled your eyes as you pull your sleeves up.

"Yeah, yeah." You let his comment through without paying much attention to it. You ended up cooking a meat pie from scratch while he watches your every move.

8

You two sat down on the couch as you waited for the pie to finish baking. He took your hands and started placing soft kisses to it.

"Mochi..." You chuckle.

"Shit... I like you so much and all I want to do is to hold you." Is he for real? It would've been funny as fuck if I saw him fucking my sister tomorrow.

"You could have other girls."

"I want you." You let him kiss you. His hand on your face and his lips on yours. Slow and passionate. He doesn't taste like sin. He taste unexplainable, a new taste. Something you didn't think you'll like. His tongue enter your mouth earning a moan from you. He smirked through the kiss as his other hand found its way to your breast. He started needing them softly and the wetness between your legs started to increase.

"M-mochi...." You moan. Your hands landed on his hard chest and you pushed him down to the couch before climbing on top of him.

9

Before you know it you're in bed with him forgetting about the dinner you made. His cock on your entrance ready to be your first.

"This is gonna hurt. I'm so sorry." He says before pushing himself inside you. Your nails dug down on his back. You're trembling from the pain. Kanji isn't a normal man. He's part of Bonten and he likes seeing other people in pain. But seeing you in pain isn't something he likes. He kisses your forehead comforting you.

"You're doing so good love." He kisses your cheek down to your neck trying to distract you from the immense pain his big buddy inflicted. He groaned when he felt you clench around him and the man almost came when he saw your blood on his cock. It made him so happy to be your first.

"M-mochi- You're b-big and-" You gasped for air trying to calm yourself. You're happy that he took your virginity but it just hurts. You gripped on his biceps as you squeeze your eyes shut.

"Take your time." He whisper to your ear. He wanted to fuck you dumb but he knows he'll break you if he gave in to his animalistic urge. Your lack of experience made you completely dependent on him. After you nodded giving him the permission to move you regret not watching pornhub. You made him do all the work and was embarrassed but Kanji loved the way you submitted to him. He had your legs on his shoulder as he pounded on you. Your moans were music to his ears and he made sure to take a mental note and asked you to create a sex tape with him.

Sex. No. It wasn't just rough sex. It was an intense love making. You love everything about that night. The way he ate you. The way he came inside you five times. The way he licked and gave you love marks. Everything you loved it. But the way he looked into your eyes as he fucks you is something you'll never forget. After he came inside you for the last time he fell down beside you and immediately pulled you to his chest wrapping his muscular arms around you.

"Will you marry me?"

10

Of course you wouldn't refuse him. You're exhausted and borderline dehydrated from all of the orgasm you've had so, even though you were overjoyed all you could do is nod your head with a small exhausted smile on your face. For Kanji it was enough. More than enough.

He's always been a terrible man and you're not exactly a saint but despite the world you two reside in. You're both glad that you've found each other. You even forgot your hatred from criminals- well you still hate criminals but you love your fiancé. And he's an exception you're willing to make.

11

The other bonten members were extremely jealous and tried their best to hide it. I mean, why wouldn't they be jealous? You two truly love each other and neither of you are afraid to show it. You make him lunch. You patch him up. You massage him. You make him happy. You look at him with pure love and you make sure to let everyone know you're his wife. Even Sanzu now feels jealousy.

"Mochi! Baby!" You enter the meeting room running to your husband. He smiles as he catch you with his arms and you immediately pampered his face with kisses. The first few months of your marriage with Kanji the bonten members stopped disrespecting you but didn't hide the fact that they don't like you but as time passes by they realized beauty doesn't give you happiness.

"I made you your favorite let's eat together after this meeting."

"We're hungry too." Ran says and you ignore him. You love your husband but you'll never like his colleagues and he understands that well. He glares at Ran shutting him up.

12

Life with him is beautiful even though you two have arguments from time to time.

"Kanji, you're fucking pissing me off."

"Why am I pissing you off? I just asked you not to go out today since I'll be leaving town-"

"And I said sure!"

"YES! BUT WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SAY IT LIKE YOU HAVE NO CHOICE!" Him being overprotective are one of the five reasons you two argue.

13

Arguments ends with agreeing on disagreeing.

14

When you found out you're pregnant he made sure to install seventeen CCTV. And he hired fourteen guards. His brain also stopped working when you said you’re pregnant.

Brain.exe has stopped working

15

You giving birth is one of the most scariest thing he had to go through his life. He was scared to lose you. Your pregnancy was sensitive and the doctors warned him- they weren't able to warn him properly because he beat the living day lights out of them as soon as they started mentioning death.

He was by your side from start to finish and he cried like a pussy when the doctors he beat up handed him your son and daughter.

16

He became a proud dad. And dad jokes are his new found weapon.

17

He trains his son to fight and be a classy thug like him while he spoils his daughter to the point she's like "Bruh, I'm 3 what even is Gucci."

18

The four of you became the most envied family inside the crime world. Because not only y'all rich and powerful. You truly care for and love each other.

19

You four live in a big mansion and there's a big ass painting of your family you can see- you will see as soon as you entered inside. It's 4 meters tall and 5 meters wide. It's you, your husband and your kids on the garden happily sitting on the ground watching the birds on the sky. It's the most precious thing in the house along with thousand of photos you and your husband took for the past 17 years.

20

You love Kanji not because he's the first man to ever approached you. You love him because he saw who you truly are beneath. He loves you because you make him feel like he's the only man in the world. Maybe being labeled as average isn’t so bad. Because true love comes to people who deserves it.

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THANK YOU FOR READING * REPLIES & REBLOGS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED.

Don’t copy.