#maybe i will bury my feelings in popstar after all. hmmmm

[hardwonsbf]

a world where

when lawrence leaves conner, owen follows. he doesn’t mean to— his best friends and bandmates are standing opposite each other backstage, facing off with owen between them. if owen shuts his eyes, maybe he can pretend they’re kids again, playing monkey in the middle— he’s always been the smallest, and he’s never minded that conner insists he start in the center ‘cause he knows owen won’t win anyway.

but his eyes are open, darting between lawrence and conner, conner and lawrence. anger is coming off both of them in waves, battering owen back and forth in the tense silence. conner breaks it first, as he always does.

him or me, conner mutters, gritting his teeth. lawrence scoffs, and owen grows ever stiller, praying conner won’t ask again.

him, or me, owen.

no such luck. owen has never been a big talker, preferring to let his best friends’ bickering and laughter fill their bedrooms instead, occasionally interjecting if he thinks he might make one of them laugh. but none of this is funny, and he still can’t find his voice.

while he searches for it in vain, conner’s jaw tightens. lawrence outright laughs this time. it’s a harsh sound, unfamiliar to any of the boys.

fine, conner says, and turns away. fine. he starts moving, the most any of them have since they ended up in this shitty back hallway. owen tries to go after him until lawrence holds up a hand and blocks his way.

let him go, lawrence says, too loud and tight. he’s never gonna change, anyway.

no, owen says. and then, louder— CONNER— his voice cracks on the second syllable and lawrence laughs at him, then. but he’s found his voice too late, and conner is gone.

eventually, lawrence leaves owen too. it’s over something stupid— but they’ve both been angry since conner, and only getting angrier. but once again, owen can’t find his voice, and as lawrence takes his notebooks and storms out of their apartment back in the town they grew up in, he wonders if maybe he should’ve gone with conner instead.

and then they all made up and lived happily ever after and performed as the style boys until they died the end!