#maybe i should just go with it more often

[justplainlovely]

@northwest-cryptid’s explanation is great, but I have some experience I’d like to add as well as a plea for any men on the left

From 2016 to 2019, I got a tad lost in libertarian/right adjacent spaces. I truly believe the only things that stopped me from going further were sexism and racism from others.

I had a “come to Jesus” moment around early 2018 when I went from “Trump is just an idiot” to “Trump is a dangerous dummy who emboldens the worst aspects of masculinity and, especially, white masculinity”.

For various reasons, I have little problem admitting I am wrong and fixing that when I am. But in late 2017, when I started engaging in what I can now label derad work, I found that a lot of men in those spaces had completely different attitudes towards change. I spent a lot of time talking with these guys. I even invited a couple of them into my bed which, in hindsight, probably wasn’t a great idea. Lonely people make stupid decisions and whatnot.

Anyway, when talking to some of these individuals and trying to get them to see the world through my “female eyes”, they had a tendency to reject my stories; every moment I was SA’ed, every catcalling story, every time a man brushed past me, every time a man treated me like less than a person (especially moments that could be excused as “but he didn’t know better”) was invalidated.

No matter how much or how often I told these men my story, comforted them when they told me theirs, and been there for them when they needed company, the lack of respect was still palpable. I was 17-22 back then. Maybe it has something to do with my age, but in truth, I know it had much more to do with my sex.

American men have a problem that only American men can solve. And that is they don’t respect women as full beings. That doesn’t mean they hate women outright. It’s just the kind of patronization that leads to weird attitudes like “women are like children and should be preserved”. It’s the kind of attitude that leads to men, whether they observe it or not, treating women like property.

And all that said, my main call to action is for left wing and centrist men. You guys have a lot of work to do. So do I, as a white-passing woman (white women broke 53% for Trump, if I’m not mistaken). Based on my experience, men will not accept help from women when they see us as beneath them. A lot of men entering alt-right spaces, whether or not they realize it, do believe in that hierarchy and for that reason it is crucial that centrist and left men engage in the hard work of deradicalization.

Got any buddies that are getting a little too weird? Talk to them. Ask them what’s going on. See what they need. Do this before it’s too late and they become a “Q-er”. Your isolation is precisely the power the alt-right weaponizes.

“Your buddies may have left you, but we don’t care what you believe. There’s many more of us. Come hang out!”

It’s that and more, so please. I’m begging you. Do ANYTHING you can.

the idea that reactionary spaces are attractive to men because they treat them kindly unlike The Left is so odd because whenever I come across that content it's essentially the same dynamic as pro ana "meanspo". if you don't know what that is, it's "motivation" based on degrading the viewer to the point where they can't "make excuses" and not become anorexic, or in this case a true Alpha Male. I feel like thisis objectively worse for someone's mental health than The Left

[clockwayswrites]

City Pigeons Bleed Green - Part 24

masterpost

“We should make H— Jason spend some time in here,” Danny said. He was good with the rest of the name now, but he still struggled with with Jason. He was trying. “He could use the reason to relax.”

“I do not believe that Todd is capable of relaxing,” Damian said with a little frown and Danny was pretty sure meant Damian was uncertain, but other people tended to think that it meant Damian was judging them.

“Sure he can. He makes a great pillow too,” Danny said. He leaned over and bumped his shoulders against Damian’s. “Totally bet if you just just sat down and leaned against him, he wouldn’t do anything.”

“Tch.”

“Okay, sure, half of that would be because he’d be too shocked, but really. He’s secretly a cuddler but, like, in a totally different way than Dick. Jason is more like Cass is.”

Damian’s brows were knitted together, but he gave a considering little nod at that.

Danny was glad that Damian went through the door to the hall first. He wasn’t sure when it had happened, exactly, but being out of the apartment now felt wrong and bad and… scary. Danny knew that had delayed them taking him to the Manor and was making some of them anxious, but Danny just couldn’t… it was hard to shake, even if everywhere they went had been safe.

“How were the kittens, Dandelion?” Jason asked. He was leaning against one wall and Lacey stood next to him, looking at something on her phone.

“Pointy,” Danny said with a little smile, “and very cute.”

“We are going to go see the dogs now instead,” Damian said.

“Okay,” Lacey said with a smile. “Your brother and I were talking about what might work for you. I think we have a few options, but I actually have someone in mind for you to meet first of the bunch. She might not work at all but… I have a hunch.”

“As ludicrous as it sounds, Ms. Lacey’s hunches do often play out,” Damian said. “Which dog are we going to see?”

“You haven’t met her yet. She just came here from another shelter because the last one didn’t have the space for her. Before that she was out in the suburbs where she had been adopted, but she kept trying to herd all the other animals and children. They got her from a shelter where she had been surrendered by her owners because they moved to a new apartment that wouldn’t let a dog like her in.”

Danny frown grew as Lacey talked. “Oh, wow… she’s been through a lot of homes, hasn’t she?”

“She has, and it’s really not her fault. She’s only a year and a half old, so she’s still a bit of a puppy and will need training, but she’s a real sweetheart and I think she just needs the right person to love her back.” Lacey paused in front of a door and opened it to some sort of waiting room. “Now, she is a large dog, so I’ll keep her on a harness when I bring him in and you let me know when you’re comfortable for her to come close, okay?”

“Okay,” Danny agreed. He knew he had told Damian not small, but he was suddenly a little concerned by how large was large.

Jason must have been able to tell, because he led Danny over to the small couch to sit down with him while Damian scooted the chair he chose closer to Danny’s open side.

Very, was the answer to how large was large a few minutes later when Lacey brought in a huge dog. The bright red harness barely visible through the mass of black fur that seemed to stand straight out from the dog in a massive mane.

“Okay, come on girl, down,” Lacey said, drawing out the words.

When the large, deep black eyes turned to her, she pointed purposefully at the ground. The dog huffed and settled on the floor looking like some avant guard throw pillow. She snuffed curiously at the group and shuffled forward a few inches on her belly before peering up at Lacey to see if she was noticed.

“Stay. Like I said, still a puppy,” Lacey said fondly.

“What breeds do we suspect she is?” Damian asked.

“She’s definitely a large part chow,” Lacey answered. “She has the black mouth and everything. We’re guessing black lab maybe as some of the rest or some other sporting dog. From those breeds, and her behavior so far, she’s going to be loyal and protective. She will need to be exercised as specially at this age she’ll have a lot of energy, but I know you have the yard to let her run. Fetch or retrieval games will be great stimulation for her and walks can probably be kept pretty short, but I know that Damian could help you train her. Do you want to come over here and let her smell your hand? Or we could just let her settle in and wander the room.”

“I’ll, um…” Danny trailed off as he moved to sit down on the ground at Jason’s feet. He leaned forward and offered his hand, stretching out as far as he could.

The mass of fluff crept forward a few inches, then a few more, and the last few to where she was close enough to sniff at Danny’s hand. The curly tail started to wag before the dog gave Danny’s hand a lick.

A small smile lit up Danny’s face. “Oh, you’re just a big fluffy sweetheart, aren’t you?”

“She really is. She gives me the biggest puppy dog eyes every time someone passes her and doesn’t give her attention. She really wants nothing more than to be with people or other pets and part of a family,” Lacey said.

Danny watched the dog snuff at Danny’s hand before he decided that it was probably okay to move forward a little more so that he could pet the dog. His fingers sank into the thick black fur and the curly tail started to wag.

“She’s kinda like a big teddy bear,” Danny said, completely missing the look that Damian and Jason exchanged behind his back at that statement.

“Chows are like that.,” Lacey agreed. “They get a bad rep because they can be really protective of their owners, so if she’s the dog you go with, you will need to work on socializing her. Taking her to the dog park or things like that would be a good step.”

“It will help that there is such a large amount of family and acquaintances coming and going from the manor,” Damian added. “But if she is the dog that will be yours, we can easily set up a plan for socialization.”

“I, um, I’ve never adopted a pet before. How do I know if she’s the right one?” Danny asked.

“Seeing if you get a long is a good start. With a big dog like her, I think you should walk him a little and play some. We can try some tricks too and see how she listens to you,” Lacey said. “We have a two week trial window where if you think she’s the right dog, she’ll go home with you and you can see how it all works out. If it doesn’t, she comes back here no issues.”

Danny took in a calming breath and let it out. “Okay, let’s see how it goes.”

The dog was a lot. There was no doubt about that what with her size, but she did seem very eager to listen. She apparently walked very well with Danny, even if that was almost sandwiched up against Danny’s side between him and the road. It reminded him of how Jason always walked, as if guarding Danny from the world.

There back at the shelter now. Danny buried his fingers in the dog’s thick fur, ruffling it idly.

“What do you guys think?” he asked his brothers.

“I think that she will be a loyal dog for you,” Damian said, “and that training her may also be beneficial for you.”

“That,” Jason said, “and that she likes you already just like you like her already. I think the only real question is what’s her name going to be?”

Danny looked down at the almost bottomless seeming brown eyes that were staring adoringly back up at him. “Ursa. Her name’s Ursa.”

-

Ursa took to the Manor immediately— or at least took next to being by Danny’s side in the manor. His bed seemed much smaller with her laying next to him, but he had a feeling it he woke up that night with a nightmare that it wouldn’t last long.

His fingers tightened in her mane as he took a breath and hit send on the text message to Babs.

Her name is Jasmine Fenton.

[kurooangel]

── friends  ✦    

ft kuroo tetsuro. ᡣ𐭩

content: smut. friends with benefits. college!kuroo. english isn't my first language. masterlist. didn't like much this one :'(

kuroo is completely normal about you. of course he doesn't care about the way your hair falls and moves with every step you take, or how you smile at him when you see each other in the hallway. or at least, he won't admit it. he can't help it, you're so beautiful and so damn sweet.

all started after the first month of college, when the snack you paid for got stuck in the vending machine and didn't fall. kuroo was waiting until you finish so he could buy something, therefore he helped you giving a small push to the machine. he is just a nice guy, what can we say. but the smile you gave him and that whispered thanks made him wish that your snack would get stuck in every single time you try to buy one.

he started getting closer to you when he joined the volleyball club of the university and he invited you to see him. of course he flexed his biceps in that match. needless to say, you couldn't take your eyes off him when he did it. even if you studied different careers, you saw each other many times, so you got closer and closer, now even you and him had lunch together, and your pussy is his dessert. you didn't know when or how, but kuroo tetsuro charmed you and made you drool for him as much as he does it for you. when you two went to a party, that tension between you just exploited when he took you to the nearest bathroom and lifted your skirt and said I've been waiting for this so long, princess. you have no idea the effect of that pretty face and sweet charisma of yours has on me.

after a few months of that party, you still visit his bed frequently. really often, actually.

"fuck, tetsuro, just like that." you whimper when his cock fills you again and again, his hips rocking against yours. a growl leaves his throat when your walls squeeze him even more and he buries his head on the crook of your neck to kiss you. "you feel so good, kitten. so fucking perfect." he whispers against your skin and a shiver runs down your spine. his kisses go down to your chest and suck them while his big and warm hands grab your hips even harder as he buries his dick even deeper inside you. thank goodness you just came to help him with his new laptop setting.

the way he kisses your breasts while his amber eyes are fixed on yours, watching how you moan because of how good his length is making you feel. it just gets you. "tetsuro, shit—... I'm gonna—" your ecstasy makes him finish with you, his cum filling your hole as he thrust it into you.

your bodies are still tangled and covered with sweat when he kisses your cheek. "maybe, and just maybe, we should go out this weekend. restaurant. I pay." he pants as you let out a giggle and nod, resting your head on his toned chest.

[fungateshortcakes]

It was nice while it lasted

My (now ex) best friend just ended our four year friendship, said she didn't see any future in it because we weren't chatting as much as we used to. She was my best friend, but i wasn't hers. I probably haven't been for a while. My birthday is this sunday and I wished she hadn't done this just two days before my birthday. I need comfort, so here is a short Logan drabble♡

Pairing: Logan Howlett x mutant!reader

Wordcount: 1k-ish, maybe a bit less

Warnings: english isn't my first language, none, just fluff, and a bit angst, friends to lovers, implied chubby reader

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

You sniffled quietly as you looked down at your bright phone screen. I'd like to break off contact. You read it over and over again. You had hoped you would never have to see these words, not with her. You were so stupid to think that your friendship would get repaired somehow.

You lived at the x men mansion, she lived far away in another city. So meeting each other was rare. The first time you met, she slept over in the mansion. Everyone liked her and you both had a great time. You would have done everything to get that back, that time, these moments when everything seemed like it was just how it was supposed to be.

After she finally found a job after searching for months, everything changed. She didn't answer your texts anymore, only if you were lucky. You tried to reach for her, tried to talk to her. But her replies were sparse and often dry. Said it was because she didn't know how to answer your texts and that she was so tired every day from work.

You tried to be understanding, tried to reassure her that it was alright. But when you saw pics of another girl on her instagram and later some random guy that turned out to be her new boyfriend, you felt it. That ache. You weren't her best friend any more. She could easily live without you. You were the only one suffering. You needed her, but she didn't need you.

You sat on your bed, wiping your tears. Why were you so damn stupid, you should have seen it coming. You were no ones favourite, you never have been. You weren't the number one for anybody, no one would chose you in a room full of people. You knew that, and that hurt.

Suddenly, the door to your room opened. It was Logan, he had a plate loaded with your favourite food in hand. He wasn't looking at you yet. "I got you some food, bub. Why weren't you down for dinner-" he started to ask but as he lifted his head and saw your tear stained face, his brows knitted together on his handsome face and he strided over to you with purpose, putting the plate on your beside table. "What's going on, bub?" He asked in the softest voice he could muster.

Your voice was hoarse and you just couldn't get a word out. He climbed into bed with you, sitting next to you and wrapping one arm around your shoulder to pull you against his side, his head on top of yours as he let you cry and shake in his arms. He wore that grey oversized sweater with nothing underneath. The fabric was so soft under your cheek. And so warm, smelling like him. You shoved your unrequited feelings aside, trying to calm your racing heart as he hugged you.

As Logan let you sob, his gaze shifted to your phone that laid abandoned on the sheets. I'd like to break off contact. He read the name over the chat and it dawned on him. He didn't need more information to know exactly what happened. You had always talked about your best friend and he had even met her one time. She was decent back then, but you would always come to him to vent when your best friend did something that hurt you. He had always told you to drop her, that she wasn't good for you, that you had so many friends and people that actually loved you around you every day. With people he meant himself. He loved you so much but never spoke up.

There was a time where he thought you and your best friend were together. Back then you'd get that question a lot because you were just that close. He was a bit salty about it and secretly hoped you would break up. When he found out you weren't actually together, he was awfully happy about it, a kick in his step.

As bad as it sounded, he was glad that the horror was finally over. He had witnessed your mental health worsen every time you beat yourself up over your best friend. He was frustrated when you blamed everything on yourself and wouldn’t see how bad she was for you. Still, he understood your tears. There had been a time where she really was your best friend and you loved her, you could tell her anything back then. And that was the version of her that you missed, the version you still held onto.

"I know this sounds rough, but you are better off without her" he mumbled against your temple, planting an experimental kiss there. As you didn't back away, he saw it as an invitation to leave his lips pressed against the side of your head. You hiccuped, nuzzling even further into him. "Why...why does it always happen to me? Why can't I keep friends, why do I always get so attached when I am worth nothing for the other person?" you questioned, voice thick from the tears. "All I want is to be loved by someone just as much as I love them" you muttered, swallowing the lump in your throat, but it didn't seem to budge.

He loved you. He loved you like you loved him. He did, so badly. But both of you didn't know. And it was eating you up inside.

You pulled back to look into his eyes "Am I unloveable, Logan? Don't lie to make me feel better" you asked him. You always told you that you couldn't be loved. But slowly you really started to believe it. I mean, who could possibly love someone like you? You were chubby, pretty introverted and didn't dress like the average. You had been bullied all your life for your looks, your personality and your mutation. The fat funny friend is who you were, the one that got asked out as a joke and was told, that they couldn't imagine you in a relationship. It was something you never truly learned to live with. You tried to hold onto the illusion that was love, hoped that one day it would find you like in the sappy romance movies you watched. You doubted it.

Your question hit Logan like a ton of bricks. "Unloveable? Are you even hearing yourself?" He asked and you had never seen him this shocked. You couldn't understand why. You had expected him to agree with you, allthough you never wanted to hear that from him.

Ever so gently, he held your soft face in his hands, wiping your tears away with his strong thumb. "You are the most easiest person to love, trust me on that"

Unbelieving, you shook your head. "I said don't lie-" you started but he shushed you quickly, your head secure in his grip as he forced you to look at him. "Look into my eyes and tell me that I am lying. Come on. Say it" he urged you on, his gaze intense and burning that it took your breath away, silencing any words you might have had. Even though you didn't correct him, he knew you weren't believing him.

He sighed, it would take a while to get all these insecurities out of your head. And your heart. But you were worth that effort.

"Let me show you just how much I love you" he mumbled before your heart threatened to jump out of your chest as his lips landed on yours. It was everything you had ever hoped it would be and you could almost not believe that this was real, that you weren't dreaming.

Pulling away, more tears spilled over your cheeks and Logan panicked. "Oh- shit, I'm sorry, that wasn't right of me" he coughed, his neck burning red in embarrassement. He was taking advantage of you, wasn’t he?

But before he could slide off your bed, you pulled at his sleeve. "No, no, it was alright. You couldn't have reacted any better" you giggled through your tears. His breath hitched as you zipped down his hoodie to snuggle against his warm, bare chest. You could feel his heartbeat quicken underneath your ear, though Logan quickly eased against the contact.

He zipped his hoodie back up behind you, keeping you close to him as you cuddled and kissed on your bed with this newfound information of you both having pinned for each other for years. You felt warm and safe and for the first time in a while, you felt like everything would be okay.

As long as he was with you.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

This was painful to write and incredibly personal in some aspects. I know that this probably won't gain as much attention because of that, as it may not be relatable for most.

But still, if you are going through something similiar, you aren't alone. There are many people that struggle, that feel this way about themselves. And while knowing that this doesn't really sooth the ache, it will get better. One day. I hope.

[creative-anchorage]

With a more abstract kind of loss, there is no proof that you have lost trust in the world except your perception. And if you perceive it to be true, it is true for you—that you’re feeling helpless or powerless that things didn’t go your way. With frozen grief, you could be immobilized. That’s the danger. Don’t be immobilized. You need to do something active in order to deal with a situation you can’t control. Be active in your neighborhoods at the grassroots level. It will help to be active, not just to sit back and grumble and not just to lash out either. Action is psychologically what helps when you’re feeling helpless. Short term, you have to do something you can control when you’re in a situation you can’t control. Do something you can control—in your house, in your home, with your family. Go running, listen to music, go to a movie, do something that requires action, that makes your body move. You’ll feel better for that. Go see a neighbor. Long term, get involved. Get involved with whatever works for change that will bring us closer to the future, not take us backward. ... I could see someone feeling really cynical and sad saying, like, “If losing things you’re attached to causes grief, then I’m just not going to be attached to things.” Is that actually a healthy response? No. I’m using attachment rather loosely. In psychology it has a narrower definition, but it is a motivation for our actions and our beliefs and values. So attachments are really important, even if they do cause you pain sometimes? That’s right. It’s a good time to sit and reflect on your own life and your own attachments. What do you care about? What do you care about in your own body? What do you care about in your own family, in your neighborhood, in your nation and in the world? I care about climate change not because it will matter in my life so much anymore, given my age, but because I care about my grandchildren and their children. Is it possible to cultivate more resilience to this kind of grief in the future? Yes. Increase your tolerance for ambiguity and keep increasing your tolerance for uncertainty. We hate uncertainty in this culture. Change is necessary. If a system of human beings doesn’t change, they die. And right now I think we’re on the precipice of not wanting to change, and that’s not a good thing. That’s going backward. I think we should work toward bringing about change now at the community level, wherever you have power and agency, whatever level you have it at. Maybe it’s just in your family, maybe it’s just in yourself, or maybe it is in your community or state or nation or globally. But work for change—because change is the one thing that will keep us going. Are there any strategies that people can use to cultivate that tolerance for ambiguity and uncertainty in themselves? Yes. Go see some improvisation at the theater. Go to listen to some jazz music, which is totally improvisation. Do something different that you’ve never done before. Learn a new language; go travel in a foreign country alone. Get to know some people you never knew before that are unlike yourself. Stretch yourself; reach out; do something different. Take a hike on a new path. I’m not against certainty. I want my accountant to think in binary. And in our sports world, you either win or you lose. That’s a binary. But in human relationships and in our human condition, the binary does not work so well. We’re often in that shadowland of ambiguity and uncertainty.

“What are some of the psychological losses people might be feeling after the election? The loss of hopes and dreams and plans that they thought were coming from the other candidate; a loss of certainty in the future that was what they wanted; loss of trust in the world as a safe place; loss of feelings of freedom over your own body; the loss of support for people who have lesser means than the rest of us do; the loss of support for your neighbor and people who are different from you—it’s a grief that remains unresolved. It’s not like a grief of a person for whom you have a death certificate and a funeral after and rituals of support and comfort. We’re stuck with this. I wrote about it as frozen grief.”

— Election Grief Is Real. Here’s How to Cope | Scientific American (via wilwheaton)

[kryptznnn]

♛- Could've fooled me

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

➸ INTERESTS; -timeskip/pro-hero!katsuki bakugo x f!reader

➸ BACKGROUND; - Little drabble/blurb about Bakugo, and how much he claims to hate you. Considering you as someone who's nothing, but an obstacle for him, but like all obstacles you constantly get in his way, and he loves it.

➸ WARNINGS; - wc.1k, mentions of hatred/dislike, indecisiveness, romantic and sexual tension, smut, p in v, oral sex f!recieving, masturbation m!engaging, kissing, orgasms (both f and m engaging), mentions of arguing, hating/disliking to liking/loving relations.

➸a.i; - omg new blurb everyone wake up eek, working on 3 masterlists rn so sad eugh, but i hope u guys enjoy.

༊࿐ ͎. ｡˚ ° ⊹ ˚. ༊࿐ ͎. ｡˚ ° ⊹ ˚.

Katsuki hates how much you tail or tag around him, no matter how many times he's told you to leave him alone you just keep coming back.

Katsuki also hates the amount of attention you attract whenever you're out, whether a small story the girls are bringing up about random people approaching you, or even if he's stuck in a situation with you himself. He knew better than to bring it up to your attention through an argument though, you can't help who you attract. He just considers you lucky that he's always there at the right times.

He despises how kind you are, it almost seems as if you do it to mock him. You're not nice, but kind, kind to random people you've met, people you've had issues with and even him. It bothers him more like anything before, maybe it's because he believes he's the only person that should be getting that attention.

He isn't fond of how much you two share in common aside from your opposite attitudes. It's almost as if you two were meant to clash with one another. Arguments would always disperse between the two of you, and honestly, it fired him up in a way even he wouldn't expect.

He hates how he's back at his place now, his sweatpants pulled down to his thighs as his wifebeater was now rolled up over his belly button. His breath hitched as he was 'relieving himself of his anger' from your argument prior. He wasn't sure if he was going crazy or was just too caught up in the moment, but when he pictured you on your knees with your mouth wide open it sent him straight to climax, huffing and grunting softly to himself.

Don't get Katsuki started on the entire phrase others repeat to him. 'Opposites attract', he finds it a bunch of bullshit, he hates how often he hears it. Even if whatever he felt for you was what everyone else thought there's no way it was reciprocated. From all of his messes he had to clean up (like last night's mess) there was no way he'd take the risk.

He hates how he wasn't able to realize it sooner, your small remarks and subtle comments were pointers. You did reciprocate whatever he was feeling towards you, and he knew that by how much you were babbling underneath him while he fucked you.

Katsuki loves how you feel around his cock, it's like you're trying to suck him in any deeper from the inside. There wasn't any deeper, his breath was ragged as you were a moaning mess by how his tip kissed your cervix with every thrust.

"Katsuki please, I- ah, I can't" you cry. Oh, he loves how much you try to fight him over it, it's practically making him harder than he was. He could tell you were close; no one just denies their pleasure if an orgasm isn't close.

He's quick to lift up one of your legs, pressing down on the back of your thigh as he pistols himself within you now, your cries getting louder as your clawing at his shoulders and back now. He hates how easily whipped you are for him, one minute you invite him into your place and the next your spread out on your couch.

He hates that you attempt to cover your mouth while he's drilling you so quickly, you're sure that the condom he has on will either snap or come off. He's quick to grab your hands and hold them over your head with his much larger one.

He doesn't like how good you feel now, because now he's getting vocal. He hates being vocal more than anything, and with the other girls he's fucked it hadn't been a problem until right now with you. The way you were biting and clawing at him made something in the pit of his stomach flutter, maybe it was something he ate.

He loves how you kiss him when you come undone, biting his lip softly as you whine and twitch through your orgasm. His thrusts becoming sloppy after your orgasm. You now applied pressure and spoke him through his own orgasm, and even clamped down on him, and it wasn't helping.

He likes the fact that he's doing this to you, that this moment is being shared between the two of you. At first when you two started you admitted out of shame this was your first time, he only looked at you in awe, to him this was an honor.

He hated how much you squirmed and moved around when he ate you out when you started. His tongue never leaving your clit as he dug his fingers deep into you, one by one. He wanted to keep you still, he didn't like how you pushed and turned, but it was all worth it when he made you cum, the first time out of many for the night.

"Ha, are you close? Your- mmm, you're going faster" you moan into him, as he buries his head within your neck and nods slightly. He isn't a man of many words, the two of you knew this already, but for you he wanted to. Maybe the thought was stupid or funny to ridicule him for, but he wishes for this moment to never end, and he hates that.

Katsuki was just on the edge, no words were shared between you two, more importantly him, as he climaxed. His grunts and breathing were as heavy as ever as he cradled into your shoulder, you only rubbed his back and moaned along with him, easing him through it. He hated how you babied him, even though you were younger than him.

Maybe he hated the fact that he secretly loved what you were doing, you weren't able to see it, but after the high faded he smiled. Katsuki smiled at the fact of how happy he was to share such a moment like this with you, but yet again it was going to take a lot to even get a confession from him.

As of now, not even Katsuki Bakugo himself could tell you whether or not he still hated you. Hating someone for who they are and hating someone for what they do are two different things, but maybe it wasn't even you. Katsuki hates how he feels for you because it drives him off in such an animalistic way, he just can't ever get enough of you.

And he loves it.

༊࿐ ͎. ｡˚ ° ⊹ ˚. ༊࿐ ͎. ｡˚ ° ⊹ ˚.

✴🕷 please do not copy, plagiarize, edit, or translate any works submitted by me. all works are originated and all other pictures used within those works are online images. thank you!! @kryptznnn

[suzukiblu]

Day ten of “obligatory sugar baby Kon” behind the cut. tw: implications of past grooming/abuse and the inherent problems that causes for someone who was in that situation and hasn’t processed it trying to have a relationship with someone actually age-appropriate. prev: (( chrono || non-chrono ))

“I mean–it’s nice,” Kon says, smiling just as helplessly into his collar and keeping his eyes on the sidewalk as they walk. “Just, you know, it’s not the kinda stuff you usually get me. Like–it’s just, you know–pretty, or whatever. It’s not for anything. Like, I can’t wear it for you and it’s not, you know, food or a game or anything.” 

Tim did not actually realize that he hadn't bought Kon anything that didn't count as “useful” yet, though given the video games and candy and jewelry he's pretty sure they just have different definitions of what “useful” actually is. Also he needs to take a moment to not burn alive over Kon saying the phrase “wear it for you” again, which definitely takes the full moment, because Jesus Christ. 

That has not gotten any less affecting, yeah. 

“Oh, I guess,” he says in his best imitation of a normal person's normal voice. “I didn't really think about that. I just thought you might like it, so I got it for you.” 

Kon somehow finds a new shade of red to turn that honestly might actually be a Kryptonian-related one, considering the intensity of it. It is, unfortunately, cute as fuck. 

“I mean, I do like buying you clothes and stuff, obviously. You look really nice in that outfit, for one,” Tim says, and Kon glances away again, still smiling helplessly and still just as red-faced. He really does blush so easy. It’s weird, Tim thinks, given how much flirting he does. But maybe Kon’s just the “can dish it out but can’t take it” type, he guesses. 

Alternately, maybe people just aren’t complimenting him as often as he deserves and he's not used to hearing it. 

. . . Tim makes a mental note to pencil in some affirmations in Young Justice’s next training session and also to buy Kon even more flowers than he was already planning to. Flowers that come with little hand-written cards that say nice things about him, specifically. 

“You better think I look nice in it, pretty boy,” Kon says, biting his lip around another grin. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you wanted me all fancied up.” 

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I liked the crop top too,” Tim allows, and Kon bursts into laughter and then lets go of his jacket collar and just–beams at him, actually. Just–literally actually beams, brighter than anything in Gotham that doesn’t run on electricity. 

Tim manages not to step off the sidewalk into traffic by Robin-reflexes alone and literally nothing else. 

Jesus, that expression. 

“I like, uh–that,” Kon says, and then blushes a little darker again. “Um–I mean, I like that you, uh . . . like to get me stuff you think I look good in. Uh. I don’t know how to say this without it sounding weird, fuck, just–just I like it.” 

“Oh,” Tim says. The warehouse district in his brain is a lost cause; the fire has officially spread to the docks and across downtown. His mental Gotham is going the way of 1871 Chicago, he’s pretty sure. “Uh–um, good. I’m glad.” 

“It’s just, um–I dunno, it’s just nice to look nice for somebody,” Kon murmurs a little bit shyly, tugging his jacket collar up over his mouth again but still obviously smiling behind it. Tim isn’t sure if that’s a line of thought he should be concerned by after the kind of things Kon was saying earlier, if–“Instead of, you know. For everybody.” 

. . . Tim decides that actually, never mind the concern. Kon can look as good for him as he wants to, if what Kon’s used to is being stuck having to look good for some stupid ad campaign or magazine shoot or what the frick ever. And like–it’s not like he has a problem with Kon wanting to wear things he thinks he’ll like. That is pretty much the opposite of a problem for him, in fact. 

It probably explains the makeup, too. There were definitely not any ad campaigns with glitter eyeliner or nail polish involved. 

. . . not that Tim’s seen all the ad campaigns or anything, just–

Alright, fine, he’s seen all the ad campaigns. That’s just Bat SOP, alright? And definitely only Bat SOP.

[thekindlygrammarfairy]

The only thing that seems like it'd work is fixing public education. I remember when I was maybe 12, my class was taken into the library and taught basic internet searching skills, how to spot unreliable websites, and so on. None of it was new to me, but having it presented in an official capacity made me think about it more often and harder from then on.

I had assignments that revolved around research, which taught me a bunch of stuff about how to find good information.

Hell, even the ability to type at a reasonable pace is something I picked up from school.

So, what schools are like these days is going to be speculation, I don't know what's up, and it's going to vary wildly from place to place. But here's my best guess:

Schools, at least in the US, have been slowly bleeding talent, money, and respect since the start of the pandemic. Essentially, kids are left to self-educate. I like teaching myself stuff via online tutorials and stuff, but that only works because I have the necessary self-discipline and underlying skills. It seems like in most schools, everyone is in survival mode, and a lot of stuf that would have been taught because it's "The Right Thing To Do" is hitting the cutting room floor. Nevada's elections are having an issue with young people not being able to sign their names, for example, because we cut cursive teaching. I don't think of cursive as particularly useful, but some things are written in it - and being able to sign your name is of obvious importance.

Services like Instagram and Tiktok are appealing because of their ease of use, and the network effect, and their ability to direct you into a hyperspecific niche. But the time and energy spent in these apps and services (having tried both, they can be incredibly overwhelming) is not spent socializing in a real, tangible community. On Tiktok specifically, it seems like it's actively harder to do something as basic as learn a creator's name. For example, Amaury Guichon's name is on every one of his tiktoks, but everyone calls him Chocolate Guy. This is not true of any other creator I'm aware of. The experiences are smaller and less lasting than any other media, but are the most readily accessible.

The "I don't want to pay money for internet anything" culture is strong, with my generation and younger. Even if quality stuff is out there, we don't want it, because it's behind a 99 cent paywall. Part of this is the soft age-wall for getting a credit card, but part of this is just stubbornness. New York Times and Washington Post, both respected and reasonably-truthful newspapers, are paywalled, but Conservative """Newspaper""" du jour are free. When I see a paywall on a newspaper, my first instinct is to get around it, not pay up. A few outlets, like the Guardian, have started working with, rather than against, this behavior, but they're in the minority. The impact of this attitude on creators on platforms like YouTube and Twitch is a whole other discussion, there's some good and some bad. But "old media" (books, movies, TV, etc.) is suffering - and people who should be experiencing that stuff are suffering too.

Third spaces for young people basically don't exist. Why exactly this is is a long conversation, but the result is that everyone's on their dang phones, even if they'd get along really well with someone who lives half a block away.

Because of all of the above, patience is not a virtue most of us have. On the internet, anything you don't like can be out of your face in seconds, and there's always an infinite void of content to gorge yourself on. In meatspace, not so much. I don't think the "zoomer attention span" is real, I think it's more along the lines of Gen Z have not been taught to tolerate mild discomfort very well. The effects of this on social organizing patterns is... bad.

The result of all of this is that young people (and I'm part of this) don't have solid social ground to stand on. Everything is online platforms and services that are fickle, fragile, and can't be negotiated with. Finding friends is difficult, and everyone's social skills are atrophied to some extent.

How do we fix this? Fund schools, make spaces for young people to hang out in, and find tunnels out of doomscrolls. I've seen a promising trend in YouTube shorts of people linking longer related videos to pull people out of that infinite scroll.

And tumblr is a good example of this. We have a mix of shallow and deep content, and a culture that's not flexible, malleable, and disposable in the same way that TikTok's is.

I am concerned for gen z. Like I don't think they're doing okay. I think algorithms and a systematic denial of easy access to facts because of Internet enshittification has made them unbelievably miserable with very little sense of how warped their online experience is. Idk how to fix it.

[too-much-tma-stuff]

What Does it Mean for Us

Previous | Masterpost

Jason and Ellie were at Danny’s side in moments but Danny only smiled at them. “Good, I wanted you both here, as witnesses,” He said, turning his back on and stepping away from Clockwork, ignoring his grumbling. “Will you stand by me?” 

“Always,” Jason agreed immediately.

“Good, because I couldn’t do this without you,” He said, smiling softly and took his hand, drawing him closer. He wished he could kiss Jason but he was still wearing his helmet, later then. Danny turned back towards Clockwork, finding him not frowning anymore but watching them both with an odd and unreadable expression on his face. “What?” Danny snapped at him, and Clockwork smiled slightly and shrugged.

“We’ll have to have a conversation about his role in your council later,” Clockwork told him.

Danny rolled his eyes to disguise the pit that opened up in his gut. He and Jason hadn’t discussed that at all, at the time when Danny had told Jason about him being crown prince. It had seemed such a long way off then. He knew what role he wanted Jason to take, but it might be a fight with the council. “Right, let’s get this over with then. I want to go home.” 

Danny heard Dan give an amused snort behind him and relaxed even more, and not just because he liked to know where his erstwhile brother was at all times when he was on-world. Having Dan behind him was reassuring, he was the one person left who could potentially really threaten Danny, and if he was behind this, maybe Danny would finally be able to feel properly safe. Clockwork gave Dan a look Danny could have sworn was nervous, but it was gone again quickly.

A few of the ghosts present grumbled he should be taking this more seriously, but Clockwork nodded and, though Frostbite frowned, he didn’t say anything so Danny thought he was fine. Danny stepped forward, and after a moment of hesitation and a subtle guiding gesture from Clockwork he knelt as he’d seen people in movies do when they were being knighted. Clockwork raised his hands and the crown of fire materialized between them, summoned by ceremony.

 “The council has come to recognize the strength of Danny Phantom and his honourable defeat of the previous King Pariah Dark. The Infinite Realms shall recognize his well earned authority and accept his leadership until such time as he is defeated in honourable combat. May he be a good and just king, guiding out of this dark age,” Clockwork said. He announced his words clearly, projecting to be heard by the camera, and the heroes who had gathered around in respect of Danny’s wish that the mortal world also witness his coronation. 

Clockwork lowered the crown onto Danny’s head. Or tried too, half way down the crown seemed to become too eager and leapt out of Clockwork’s hands to take it’s new place hovering Danny’s head. A wash of cold spread from the crown atop his head, through his body to the souls of his feet as it settled into its new place. For just a moment the green fire nearly blinded him before it settled into a much more comfortable soft blue glow. 

“Ice!” Frostbite crowed, “Pay up,” He said pointing at Clockwork with a wide grin. 

“Later,” Clockwork muttered petulantly and Danny couldn’t help but laugh, he doubted Clockwork lost bets very often. “Rise, High King Phantom of the Infinite Realms.” Clockwork announced, raising his voice again and moving on quickly from the interruption. 

Danny stood up and shook his head subtly, becoming accustomed to the new feeling of the crown. It was… heavier than he expected. With the way that it floated he expected it to feel like nothing, maybe actually make him a bit lighter like a helium balloon, but no, he could feel the weight of it. On his head and on his shoulders, and weirdly, on his heart? Though that was probably the realization of new responsibility.

“Good, now can I go home?” Danny said, exhaustion and apathy making him sound almost bored. 

“You should come back to the Realms and take up your throne immediately!” The Observants chorused. “There are thousands of years of task unfulfilled-”

“Well then they can go unfulfilled for a few more weeks! Go back to the Kings Keep, start putting things in order of whatever tasks are most urgent and begin preparations for any ceremonies that need to be done for the citizens of the Realms. I will come see what you’ve done when I have the chance. But I am still at least half Mortal, and I need to sleep! So get out before I make you.” 

Apparently now that he was king his threats were going to be taken much more seriously because in a moment they were gone. He sighed and let his shoulders slump, turning back towards Jason who caught Danny and let him hide against his chest. 

“They should have bowed before they left,” Dan commented casually. “You’ll have to teach them some respect, you know they forgot what it’s like to have a king.”

“You would know wouldn’t you?” Danny grumbled, glancing up to see Dan’s sharp grin and shrug. 

“Better you than me,” He said, completely unsympathetic. 

Danny sighed and forced himself to stand up, still leaning against Jason’s shoulder. “Do you know where you’re going?” He asked, if Dan wasn’t going back to space just yet Danny would offer him a place to stay. 

“I think I’m gonna go see where Ellie has set herself up,” He said, ruffling her hair making her squawk and swat his hands away. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Are you sure? You can stay with us,” Danny offered anyway. 

“Nah, I know you two want to be alone. Hood,” Dan said looking past Danny, he felt Jason’s shoulder tense a little against him. “Take the kid home before he finds something else to be responsible for,” Dan said with amused condescension. 

“Oh fuck you,” Danny grumbled at the same time that Jason laughed with robust relief and wrapped an arm around Danny’s waist. 

“I will,” Jason agreed and started to tug Danny away. “Come on Babe, let’s go home.”

“Come visit us when you can, both of you,” Danny said, waxing to Dan and Ellie as Jason led him away from the group.

“Do you want a lift back to Gotham?” Batman asked, making both Jason and Danny jump. Which was sort of silly since they had known he was probably around here somewhere helping with the clean up. He had left for a bit to check on Superman and they hadn’t seen him come back but they knew he probably had. 

Jason started to bristle but Danny rested a hand lightly on his arm, and when he looked down Danny gave his best puppy dog eyes. He didn’t really know where they were in regards to Gotham since they’d come here directly from the UN meeting, and he hadn’t been lying about being tired, they had been up for more then 24 hours after all. He could fly them home if he needed to, but if they were going to be offered a ride he’d much rather take it, even if it would be a little bit awkward. 

“Fine,” Jason ground out. 

“Thank you,” Danny added in a chirp. 

Batman nodded to them and swept off without another word, leading the way back towards his jet. He paused briefly nearby Tim, who glanced at Kon and then subtly shook his head. He would not be coming back to Gotham with them yet. Batman nodded back with the subtlest inclination of his head and then carried on, you could have blinked and missed it.

Only the three of them ended up in the jet back to Gotham since Nightwing had already been evacuated when he was injured. Speaking of Nightwing. 

“How is Nightwing… and Superman?” Jason asked, he cared a lot more about Dick of course, but he knew Danny would feel bad if anything happened to Superman.

“They’re both stable. Nightwings injuries looked worse than they were and he’ll be fine after a couple of weeks, as long as he rests,” Batman said, the quirk of his lips letting Jason know he knew just how unlikely that was. Jason snorted. 

“I’ll make him if I have to,” Danny said determinedly. 

Batman hummed in response and pressed a button on his wrist computer that lowered the boarding ramp of the bat-plane. They all boarded, and even though there were plenty of seats Danny immediately sat on Jason’s lap without any shame. Finally he let the phantom form fall away and was once again fully living and fully Danny, warm and heavy against Jason’s chest. He was reassuringly familiar like this and as they took off, Jason let the tension bleed out of him, feeling Danny relax as well. Without the tension, and adrenaline, fatigue was really starting to hit both of them. 

“It won’t take us long to get back to Gotham,” Batman told them, he must have noticed their heads nodding. The rest of the flight was quiet, but they stayed awake, and as soon as they landed in the cave Jason and Danny started to leave. “Before you go, When you’re ready Superman would like to talk to you,” Batman said, looking directly at Danny who fidgeted under his gaze a little. 

“I’ll think about it,” He grumbled before quickly getting on the back of Jason’s motorbike, who sped out of the cave before anything else could sidetrack them and keep them from their bed even a moment longer.

------------

They slept for a long time, and the next day when they finally woke up they didn’t talk about anything that had happened, they just ordered a ton of takeout, watched movies, and napped more. By night Jason had energy to make dinner for them, which was amazing as usual, and then have sex before bed which was even more amazing. The next morning when they woke up again it seemed like they had finally settled back in their bodies and their home that they could properly debrief. 

“So you’re king now,” Jason said as they settled back in bed with freshly brewed cups of coffee, Danny leaning against Jason’s shoulder. 

“Yep, I’m king now,” Danny agreed heavily. 

“Not to be self-centered, but what does that mean for me?” Jason asked with a dry humour in his tone.

“Well, that’s sort of up to you I guess? You kind of can’t not be involved if we’re going to get married, that will make you my consort if nothing else. But I’d rather you be my knight, if you’re willing, and advisor of course. I just, I can’t do this without you, you know? Besides if you won’t be my knight I’ll probably have to keep Fright Knight, and he’s loyal to the monarchy itself, not to me. He’d probably serve me well, but I don’t think I can get over how he fought for Pariah.”

“Ya you absolutely can’t trust him to protect you in that case,” Jason huffed. 

“I don’t really need protection though,” Danny pointed out gently. 

“Still, you need someone you trust to look after you so you can let your guard down. Of course I’ll do it if you want me to, but I’m not a ghost, are you sure I can do the job?” Jason asked, a little worriedly. 

“We’ll make sure you’re properly equipped, I’m sure you’ll do a great job,” Danny promised and kissed Jason softly. 

“Great, so we know what it means for me now. What does it mean for you? What does the king of the Infinite Realms actually do?” Jason asked.

Danny shrugged helplessly. “I have no idea honestly, None of the younger ghosts I hang out with were around before the old king went mad. I have no idea what a king is supposed to do but honestly as long as I’m not a mass murderer I’ll be better than the last one so the bar isn’t exactly high. I’m sure Clockwork and the others have more expectations of me than that, but they can’t make me do anything.”

“Sure, just don’t let them guilt you into too much,” Jason drawled fondly. Despite everything he was very aware of what a soft heart Danny had even under the defenses he’d been forced to build up. 

Danny laughed a little guiltily and hid his face against Jason’s chest but he didn’t deny it. 

“I’m really proud of you by the way,” Jason added, stroking Danny’s hair slowly. Danny gave a questioning hum so Jason explained; “You stood up for yourself, you didn’t back down even though I could tell that seeing those people hurt was hard on you. You did what needed to be done. I expect we’ll be hearing from the JL soon about the first batch of GIW operatives being rounded up for you. You did really well, and you were more reasonable then those fuckers deserved.

“What are you going to do with the GIW agents by the way?” Jason added. 

“Thank you. It wasn’t easy, you really think I did a good job?” He asked, peeking up at Jason.

“Of course I do. And anyone with a bit of sense will think so too! About my question though?” He asked gently. 

“I guess I might kill them, or I’ll imprison them their entire lives. Either way they're real punishment will start once I get their souls into my kingdom,” He explained, a little bit of vicious glee creeping in.

“As it should be,” Jason agreed.

“I love how you enable me,” Danny joked, and Jason laughed.

“One last question,” Jason added, and Danny hummed to show he was listening. “The wedding is still on?”

“Of course,” Danny laughed. “Though we’ll probably have to have two, one in this world and one in the Lands.”

“Sounds good to me, I’m not going to say no to getting to marry you twice.” Jason joked and it was Danny’s turn to laugh. 

“You sap,” Danny accused, pushing Jason’s shoulder playfully. 

-----------

Danny was putting off going to the Infinite Realms, he could admit that, but he also didn’t know how long it would take him to get back once he did go so he wanted to finish as much of his business here as he could. He had already visited Titan tower to check on Ellie, Kon, Tim, and Dan. They were doing alright, Kon and Tim were feeling better now that they were sure Dick and Clark were going to be okay, and with some distance from the fight. Dan was planning on going back to space soon now that all the drama was over, and Danny tried not to let on how much that relaxed him. He still didn’t fully trust Dan to be on world though he didn’t want to let on as much.

It was while he was visiting them that Kon had reminded Danny that Superman was asking to see him still. There was a hint of bitterness there, because even though Kon had gone to visit as well, Clark hadn’t asked for him. Though grudgingly Kon had admitted he had been nicer this time then during previous encounters, warmer somehow. 

Danny had agreed to go visit Clark, for Kon’s sake at the very least. And because he had never really gotten the chance to look around the Watchtower as much as he would like. Every time he’d been called there before something had been wrong and he’d had to leave again in a hurry, maybe this time he'd actually be able to relax and watch the stars for a bit. He had to enjoy them now while he could since there weren’t any true stars in the Infinite Realms after all.

Of course Danny wouldn’t leave without Jason, and they couldn’t be let in without a minder, so Kon and Tim came along with them to the watchtower. Once they were there they split up and Kon and Danny (as Hyana of course), went to visit Superman, and Jason and Tim went check on Dick, Jason had yet to get to see his big brother after all. Once Kon and Hyena were done talking to Clark they would go join their partners and say hello to Nightwing as well, but Danny wanted to get Superman out of the way first.

Danny didn’t bother to knock as he entered the med bay Superman was in, barging in without a word like he owned the damn place. He only paused when he noticed Kon wasn’t right beside him anymore. He paused and looked back, seeing Kon hanging back uncertainly by the door he turned to glare at Superman. Trying to psychically threaten him into being nice to Kon and inviting him in, it didn’t work.

“Would you mind leaving us alone for a little bit Kon?” Superman asked. At least his tone was polite but what the hell?!

“He has super hearing, he could hear us whether he’s here or not. Why the fuck don’t you want him around?!” Hyena demanded and Clark winced. 

“That’s not it, but I would like to talk to you alone. Please?” Clark asked awkwardly. 

Danny sighed and nodded to Kon, who bit his lip and tried and failed not to look like a kicked puppy as he slipped back out of the room. Danny growled and stomped over to the side of Superman’s bed and sunk down into one of the chairs there. “So what did you want to talk about?” Danny snapped.

“I wanted to apologize,” Clark said, so open and earnest that it took Danny off guard and made him stop snarling. “I’ve been struggling for a long time. I was supposed to be the man of steel, I thought I was indestructible and undefeatable, that’s what people relied on me to be. When Kon was created it was a big crack in that and I tried to deny it, but I tried to keep it together. Then the idea of an entire species I was basically powerless against, I… I guess I was in denial. About a lot of things, and that’s why I tried to insist I could help, and did a lot of things really.” 

He looked down and plucked at his bandages with a wry smile. “I guess I can’t deny I’m not really invulnerable anymore huh? I am… very mortal.” 

Danny was silent for a moment, processing and organizing his thoughts before he answered. “I think I can understand what you mean, and where you’re coming from. But I hope you know that that isn’t an excuse for how you’ve treated him. You’re not invulnerable, you’re not infallible, you’re not a fucking God, and even gods are fallible. I should know I’ve fought a few. You need to get a lot fucking better at being a person.” 

“I know I do,” Clark said with a little sigh. “I’ve never really used the Justice League therapists because I always thought that I was fine, insisted that I was. But I think it’s time I did.”

“Good. And be nicer to Kon, he’s a really good kid and he deserves better,” He insisted, glaring hotly. 

“I know, I’ll try,” Superman said softly. 

“Good. Anything else?” Danny asked, cocking his head to the side and Clark shook his head. “Good,” Danny repeated and stood up, leaving to check on Dick and collect Jason so they could go stargazing together. 

[cobaltperun]

Eternal Flame (5) - Be Yourself

Cover by: @ortegalvr

Jenna Ortega x Female Reader

Summary: For her it’s a passion, for you it’s an accident. And as she continues shining brighter and brighter with each role you are left mesmerized, drawn to her flame and cherishing every time she lets herself be vulnerable with you.

Masterlist / First Part / Previous part

Word count: 6.5k

-Don't lose any sleep tonight I'm sure everything will end up alright-

The feeling of your lips against her own still lingered long after you finished shooting the scene together. It was a strangely welcome feeling; light and gentle, and most importantly it just felt right. When she kissed you, as spontaneously as it was, it felt like what she was feeling wasn't one-sided, but rather something you reciprocated. She wasn’t ready for a relationship, that’s what she’s been telling herself for some time now, while she watched her former classmates getting into their relationships and going on dates and posting about them on social media. She wasn’t ready to be vulnerable and she had a career to focus on.

But how much more vulnerable could she get? After going through an actual panic attack and calming down with you by her side? She couldn’t deny how much better she felt with you there, by her side. How often have her thoughts wandered off to you over the past couple of weeks? She dared to say almost concerningly many times.

Jenna wasn't a stranger to building connections on set, just on Scream she could tell she built friendships with Melissa, Jasmin, Mason, Mikey and many others, connections that would last long after the filming ends, regardless of potentially working together in the future. Yet there was something different with the way she was around you. With you she could be free. The panic attack proved it, and while that was something she wished had never happened, looking back and thinking about it she knew that night changed your relationship permanently. You didn’t change how you viewed her, you didn’t start treating her like she was broken, or like you needed to be careful around her, you just cared for her. She could trust you with her deepest insecurities and feel safe to share them with you.

She stole a glance toward you as you walked down the hall of the hotel you were in. As usual you were calm, confident, completely relaxed and she would be lying if she said that kind of demeanor didn't affect her as well. That same calming effect you had on her during her panic attack now affected her on a regular basis, quieting her own doubts and anxious thoughts when she was with you.

“So, that was one hell of an improvisation huh?” you broke the silence with a teasing grin on your face, but she could tell you didn't mind the kiss. Well, she wasn't exactly sure you enjoyed it, after all, it was more of a peck rather than a kiss, but she well sure you didn't mind it. And now her thoughts were going off the rails once more, and she had to make a conscious effort to stop looking at your lips.

So, to regain control and quiet her mind she teased right back. “Figured I should show them that I'm comfortable around you,” Jenna answered, nudging your lightly. For a moment she hesitated, but finding confidence in how comfortable she was around you she added: “And besides, we were supposed to kiss in the movie so there was that as well.”

You laughed, and it brought a big smile to Jenna’s face as well. She absolutely was doomed, but she loved your laugh. “Yeah, yeah, we’re sure keeping it professional. Absolutely nothing else,” oh, you were teasing her, you were absolutely teasing her, and despite how close to home it hit you were in fact joking. She could see mischief in your eyes. “You would never want to kiss me if it wasn't for the movie,” and maybe she was imagining it, projecting some of her own insecurities, but she felt self-deprecation in your tone, and she despised it.

If only you knew or rather, she figured she was lucky you didn't know. At least in some ways. As much as she hated that hint of self-deprecation, she just now noticed; she figured it would be better for both of you, in more ways than one, to keep your relationship the way it was at the moment. To stay as just friends; really, really good friends that may have crossed that line a time or two, by falling asleep together. She just wasn't sure taking the next step and acting on her feelings would turn out to be a good idea when both of you were trying to focus on your careers.

Truthfully, she was just afraid to be completely exposed to you, to let you see all of her sides, the good, the bad, her insecurities, everything she was trying to hide from others. The panic attack was one thing, and being emotionally vulnerable was almost too easy with you. But the other ways? Could she let you in on all of that?

“Of course, of course I would never,” she accepted the joke, playing off of it as two of you stopped in front of her doors. “Do you want to watch another movie?” she asked tentatively, not really wanting the night to end but just shook her head.

“Maybe some other night,” she could see a hint of regret in your eyes or perhaps she was just believing she saw it. “I made plans to catch up with my friend, and knowing her it’ll last for a while,” you grinned sheepishly, explaining why you couldn't spend the night with her and easing any worries she might have formed in her head over the late hours of the night.

“Oh, I see, say hi to her for me,” Jenna told you and pulled you into a quick hug. “Sleep well, Y/N,” she whispered.

“You too,” you whispered back and you parted ways for the night.

~X~

To be honest, you were dreading the call you were about to make. It's been two weeks since you last talked to Barbara and saying she was a bit of a needy friend would be an understatement, not that you had it in you to be bothered by it, in fact you were certain a huge reason for that neediness was the way you sometimes could get. Scratch that, the way you often got these past few years. This time though, in your defense, you really were quite busy between filming and everything happening with Jenna, so this time it wasn’t your regular stupor preventing you from fulfilling your best friend duties as Barbara called them.

You took a deep breath, sucked it up, and called her as you paced around the room hoping you would not hear her yelling at you right away.

You were hoping for too much.

“Where the hell have you been?!” Barbara roared, forcing you to move the phone away from your ear and wince because of how loud she was.

“I'm sorry I was just-“ you tried to apologize and get her to stop trying to make you lose your hearing.

She wasn’t having any of it though. “No excuses! Do you know how much I worry about you, asshole?! I damn near called Hugh and I know you've been in touch with him at least through texts!” Well, she wasn't wrong, you really were in touch with Hugh, through texts, which was also the way you kept in touch with Barbara. You just didn't find the time to call her and for Barbara that was an unusual deprivation of contact and close to unforgivable.

“Barb, come on, we’ll make up for the lost time, I promise. Just two more weeks and we'll meet up and catch up and you'll tell me all the things I missed,” you assured her. You would normally get annoyed over someone being like this, almost demanding. You appreciated being left alone when you needed it, and Barbara just wouldn’t let you be on your own. Still, you really couldn't be annoyed with her. If there was anyone other than Hugh that actually knew you, it was Barbara and as much as you depended on her she depended on you just as much and now suddenly you couldn't be there for her for almost a month and a half.

And you still had two weeks until you would meet up.

“I know. I just miss being able to go to see you,” she complained, her voice turning more whiny and you knew exactly what was coming, and it brought a smile to your face. “I want to bother you and steal all your food,” she sighed as she calmed down and you could picture her just drawing lines on some paper she had lying around. That was the thing with Barbara she had short fuse but she would also calm down ridiculously fast as long as the reason behind her anger wasn't justified she was easy to talk down, especially when it came to you and even more so after what happened a few years ago.

“You'll get to raid my fridge, again,” you put great emphasis on the word ‘again’ “Don't worry about it,” you sounded annoyed but you both knew that wasn't the case. As much as you loved filming again and as much as you acknowledged the deep, precious bond with Jenna you still missed your best friend, and nothing could change that.

Barbara laughed at that. “So how are things on the set? Tell me all about it, are there any girls I should know about?” she really couldn’t help herself. Well, at least things probably couldn’t get worse. “How are things with Jenna?” you really should know better by now. There it was, the Barbara special… The teasing! The incessant need to know everything about your love life! The love life that was, granted, pretty much nonexistent before this and it was still nonexistent because there was nothing but your crush on Jenna going between the two of you.

You could still tell you made a mistake when you naively shared with Barbara that you have grown fairly fond of your co-star. Still, you sighed, there was no going back now. “I’m in trouble, Barb, I’m in deep trouble,” you sighed, accepting that you had no control over your feelings for Jenna. After all, the taste of her lips would definitely keep reminding you of the short, but sweet, kiss you shared on set for a long time, and you’d be remembering the feel of her soft lips against your own for even longer.

“Hell yeah! Get the girl Y/N!” Barbara cheered way too loudly and you just knew she was pumping her fist up in the air.

The nerve of her. “Fucking shut up,” you groaned, dropping onto your bed and resigning yourself to more teasing as Barbara laughed.

~X~

Tomorrow morning and exactly two weeks before the filming was scheduled to end you came back from breakfast to see your phone lighting up on the bedside table. So, that’s where you forgot it. You raised an eyebrow, not expecting anyone to text you this early. As far as you knew, Barbara would still be asleep, and Hugh was a few hours behind you, so it was still in the middle of the night for him. And it probably wasn't any one of your co-stars because you just saw all of them. You walked over to the bedside table and glanced at your phone and your blood immediately froze.

“I've got an event next week. I can pick you up next Saturday and bring you back to the set on Monday morning.”

You could feel your heart pounding in your chest as you looked at the message. The event, well that was one way to put it. You could feel the itching to go, the desire to just let go, to forget everything and focus on just one simple task. You've been working out for years and you didn’t stop back when filming started, you spent damn near every day at the gym for at least an hour oftentimes more. You explained it by saying you were just trying to stay in shape, especially since you still had the job at the gym to come back to and it would be irresponsible to get out of shape.

But you knew the truth.

It wasn't staying in shape. It was just the only way you knew how to escape from what you still felt deep down. So, your reply was quick, sent without much thinking, without reconsidering the short or long-term consequences of those actions, and you especially didn’t consider how something like that could affect the movie or your career. Short-term consequences were easy to deal with. Those were your days off anyway, so nothing would happen. “I'm in,” you answered and tossed the phone to your bed ready to just go to the gym. You needed to put extra effort into preparing for… the event.

~X~

Somehow there was a feeling of dread Jenna couldn't explain, a restless feeling keeping her awake and filling her with anxiety. She had a long night doing the shooting, you all did and she intended to go to sleep to spend the evening taking a nap and resting, especially seeing as her insomnia was getting worse. You helped, of course, at least as much as Jenna would let you. Every time she turned to you for help she slept better because you would either come to her room and stay with her until she fell asleep or you would just talk on the phone and she got into a comfortable with the way things were between you. Deep down she knew it couldn’t be maintained, that she couldn't rely on you every night. You needed rest as well and she felt guilty for making her insomnia your problem.

Tonight was different. Tonight it wasn't just her insomnia keeping her awake. Tonight there was that sense of dread, that sense that if she didn't do something, anything, that something awful would happen and she didn't even know what it was. She didn't know what to do, or what it was related to, she knew nothing other than the fact that something did not feel right.

So, Jenna turned in her bed, desperately trying to keep her eyes closed so she might fall asleep. It was just her being paranoid, she was sure of it. She was just overthinking things that she honestly couldn't even define. If you or Melissa asked her what was wrong she wouldn't have an answer, she would just tell you that she had a bad feeling, and it infuriated her that she was feeling like this without having a logical explanation for it.

“Fuck it!” at this rate she wasn't going to fall asleep anytime soon and it was still half past seven so she figured she could drop by your room and see if you wanted to watch a movie or something. She got up, determined to get her mind off whatever was tormenting her and picked out a rather cute red shirt and denim shorts and changed out of her pajamas. Maybe she could get you to wear your glasses for the movie, that would make the restless day better, because you, annoyingly if she could say so, still didn’t wear your glasses around her as often as she would like you to.

She didn't even send you a message as a warning, she just got out of her room and marched to your door and knocked on your doors. “One minute,” she heard you saying from behind the doors and she felt her heart beating just a bit faster, which was ridiculous because just seeing you wasn't supposed to have this kind of an effect on her. Yet here she was probably ready to just admit this was not just a crush and that she was actually in love. You opened the door and seemed to freeze when you saw her which was an unusual reaction coming from you. What was even stranger was how you looked, wearing a hoodie and worn out boots and tracksuit pants, as if you were trying to disappear in the crowd. “Jen,” you looked like a deer caught in the headlights and there was a guilty look in your eyes. That same dread that consumed Jenna entirely the whole day came back full force and she couldn't explain why.

“Hey, I was thinking if you wanted to hang out, maybe watch a movie or chill out together? Just the two of us? I mean it's fine if you don't have the time or have other plans-“ and she just noticed a backpack hanging from your shoulder, and that dread just increased for a reason she couldn’t even start to explain. Just seeing that backpack made her anxiety spike up. “Did- where are you- I mean are you going anywhere?” she stammered, now feeling unsure of herself. “You didn't mention going to see your family,” she missed the way you frowned just for a moment. “Or anyone and what's with the bag?” She was rambling not really giving you a moment to reply and worst of all the guilt on your face just became more pronounced the more she talked.

“I-“ you began but then just closed your mouth and ran your fingers through your hair. What did she just interrupt? Were you about to leave?

No, that much was obvious.

But there was something heavy in the air, something that made her worry more than she should, something deep down telling her not to back down.

“Hey, talk to me,” she reached up, almost timidly, and touched your cheek, watching as you swallowed the lump in your throat. You didn’t reject her touch, and she felt bolder, instead of just touching your cheek she began cradling it. This time she felt you flinching before you accepted her touch, leaning into it, she watched you as you took a deep breath. Your eyes were closed from the moment she touched your cheek, but even with that she could see, or feel, the battle raging within you as you struggled between staying with her and going wherever you were about to go. So, she did her best to make the decision easier for you. “Stay with me. Please, Y/N,” and as if those words were enough, as if they were all you needed to hear, you reached up and took hold of her hand and pulled her in, hugging her firmly almost desperately holding onto her shirt.

“I'm staying,” you whispered, burying your face in the crook of her neck and Jenna found herself holding on to you just as firmly as you were holding on to her. That dread she felt earlier slowly began dissipating and she didn't know what she prevented, but she just felt like it was the best decision she could have made. Especially when you definitely flinched when you heard your phone ringing. For a moment she thought you would ignore it, but you let out an exhausted, broken sigh, damn near shattering her heart. “Yeah, I need to take this. Just give me a moment,” she could feel you putting so much effort just to pull away from her and then even more effort to close the door

Despite the closed doors Jenna could still hear the bits of the conversation as she stood there, her back pressed against the wall next to your doors. The murmurs of ‘I'm not coming’ and ‘I'm not arguing with you about this, I'm not coming’ made her instinctively hug herself. She felt cold all of a sudden, where were you about to go? What did she stop you from doing?

It would take months for her to figure it out and when she did it threatened to almost ruin what you built up until that point.

You came out of the room, in different clothes, now wearing a simple shirt and pajama pants and she immediately took your hand and pulled you along to her room, afraid that if she didn’t, she would just ask you where you were about to go. She looked back and saw you smiling. The smile on your face was natural not forced at all, but she could see pain hidden deep inside you and her heart broke because she could already tell you wouldn’t talk to her about this.

~X~

The early November cold seeped into her room but that wasn't the reason why about halfway through ‘The Silence of the Lambs’ she ended up wrapping her arms around you and lowering her head on your chest. That feeling of dread may have disappeared, but another feeling took its place and the only thought running through Jenna’s mind was ‘Don't let go. No matter what, don't let go.’ So, she didn't let go, even when you're raised an eyebrow at the sudden display of affection.

You've both seen the movie before, so she didn't feel any guilt for taking your attention away from it. “Y/N,” she said your name gently, aware that she now had your undivided attention. “Where were you going to go?” she asked, softly whispering the words as if saying them any louder would scare you away and convince you not to tell her anything.

You remained silent, the image of an open honest person that captured her heart wavered for a moment and then you looked away. “Just for a walk, don't worry about it,” it was so obviously a lie, and she could see you meant for her to see through it. Nonetheless the message was clear. Don’t ask more questions. You would not answer. You would not tell her the truth even if it would chase away her worries, even if it would show her you were willing to tell her anything. You just wanted to end the conversation and the obvious lie was an easy way to show Jenna it didn’t matter how many times she asked.

“OK,” she let the conversation end, but she doesn't let go of you, she just held tighter. And despite the uneasiness of the realization she just had, she still felt comfortable. It still felt so easy to be with you, and near the end of the movie she fell asleep in your arms.

Jenna didn’t wake up until you moved underneath her and when she opened her eyes, she saw the Sun was just starting to rise. “Hey, sorry I woke you up, I should go before someone catches me here,” you said and there it was, that gentle tone of your voice, that comforting attitude you had and she just now realized it was missing all night long yesterday but somehow throughout the night you got it back.

That was a relief. “Sorry, that probably wasn't the most comfortable position to sleep in,” Jenna laughed and you grinned, just shrugging as if to tell her you were perfectly fine with a bit of discomfort. Slowly, a bit too hesitantly, she let you go and moved to lie down on her bed properly and not halfway on top of you. You sat up and stretched a bit and she watched you, tense, but more relaxed than you were while you were watching the movie last night. And you looked like you rested enough, like you slept well. By now Jenna knew exactly how you looked when you didn’t get enough sleep and it wasn’t this. It was close, you clearly had a lot on your mind last night, but you slept well, and it made her happy to know that.

All of a sudden you turned and looked at her and she could see the mix of emotions in your eyes, but before she could speak you leaned over her and caressed her cheek. Jenna’s breath hitched as she looked you in the eyes. “Y/N,” she whispered your name.

“Sorry about last night. About lying, about not telling you where I was supposed to go,” you paused, your jaw clenching as you picked words, and she gave you a moment. “I still won't tell you, it doesn't matter anyway. But thank you for stopping me,” you leaned closer and for a moment she thought you’d kiss her, and she leaned forward, only to feel just your forehead pressing against hers. Jenna swallowed the lump in her throat, her shaky breath mingling with your own. “Thank you for holding on to me,” there was so much in that line she couldn't understand, she simply didn't have all the pieces of the puzzle. Yet the raw emotion in your voice told her absolutely everything she needed to know. And right then and there she just made a decision that no matter how difficult it could possibly get that she would find a way to overcome whatever was going on with you.

She almost said she was just returning the favor, almost alluding to the night you spent with her after her panic attack. Yet again instinctual stopped her, something similar to what drove her to you last night and instead she just said: “I'll hold on to you anytime you need,” it was a ridiculous promise one that could not be maintained, and you both knew it. First of all you lived in different states, not to mention all the jobs both of you would take that would take you to the entirely different corners of the world. She could not hold you anytime you wanted or needed it. Even so the deeper promise remained, a promise that she was with you and that she planned on staying with you.

Your breath hitched but you recovered a lot quicker than Jenna did. You nodded, unable to properly put into words how much her promise meant to you, but she could tell. You reluctantly pulled away, leaving her in her room as you slipped back into your own, just to avoid anyone from the cast knowing you spent the night with Jenna in her bed.

~X~

The filming was coming to a close, just a few days were left now, almost two months you spent in North Carolina were something else. You came into this project trying to get back into acting after Logan. You began working on it feeling the pressure of Logan almost weighing you down. Yet now you were grappling with entirely different feelings. You ended up coming to the rooftop to watch the sunset on the last Monday of the filming, just soaking it all in. To think if things were just a bit different, if you left a few minutes earlier now you’d be coming back to the hotel this morning instead of waking up in your room to open Instagram messages between you and Jenna.

Jenna…

She stopped you. She was the first person to actually stop you.

“Hey there stranger,” you heard Mikey saying as she walked up to you, breaking you out of your thoughts and for a moment taking your mind off just what Jenna stopping you as easily as she did meant for you.

You pushed the thoughts further away, not wanting to be vulnerable around another person, no matter how cool Mikey was. You grinned, patting the spot next to you. “Stranger? Already?” you laughed and leaned back as she sat down on the still warm concrete rooftop.

She rolled her eyes. “Can’t say you made a strong impression,” she teased you, though you spent several weekends cooking together. Funny how your characters hated one another yet the two of you kind of clicked.

You smirked at that. “Well, not all of us can crash a bicycle,” you joked now, but the entire cast was worried when her and Jasmin crashed. Mikey took the fall harder, as her knee still ached occasionally, but she was fine.

She jokingly slapped your shoulder. “Jerk,” she looked back when the doors opened. “Hey, Jenna!”

“Oh, hey,” Jenna sounded genuinely surprised as she slowly approached you and Mikey. The headphones hung around her neck and if she was weak to seeing you wearing glasses the same could be said for you regarding her wearing headphones around her neck. There was just something about seeing her like that, and you were utterly incapable of keeping your heart from beating faster.

“Really, I’m the stranger?” you said to Mikey, causing her to snicker, but your eyes were on Jenna, and like many times before you found it hard to look away. The soft colors of the sunset made her look even more beautiful, if that was even possible.

“Did you hear anything I said?” Mikey elbowed your side, not even trying to be subtle about it.

“You’ll live, stranger,” you rolled your eyes and reached out to Jenna. “Want to join us?” you offered, hopeful, and wanting, no needing, to use the time you had left working together as well as you could.

Jenna looked at you almost a bit hesitant to accept, but eventually she focused on your outstretched hand and she grinned a bit. “What the hell,” she sat down right next to you and leaned against your side, pretty much pulling your arm around her. Your heart hammered in your chest, sure, you figured you both just got so used to being physically close between the scenes you had together and the every other time you spent close, but it still felt so damn good to be this close to her. You grinned when your eyes met. “It's a bit cold,” Jenna said she with a small and adorable blush on her face.

“Sure, that's all it is,” Mikey laughed clearly teasing Jenna. “But it is getting cold. Y/N, how about you just bring us some hot chocolate?” this time her attention turned to you and you just stared blankly. Was she really going to make you get up? Right now? When Jenna just got here?

“Seriously now? I just got comfortable, go get it yourself if you're so eager to drink it,” you rolled your eyes suddenly reminded of Barbara especially when Mikey gave you those puppy eyes that honestly looked the best on Jenna.

Fuck. You really were in trouble. And you had no right to be in it after what happened on Saturday night.

“Come on! I wanna talk to your girl!” Mikey pointed at Jenna.

“Not my girl/Not her girl!” you and Jenna denied at the same time and you hated how hot your face felt. It only got worse when Mikey smirked at the two of you.

“Really? So prove it, go bring us some hot chocolate,” you really couldn't get out of that could you? You huffed and reluctantly pulled away from Jenna. How was bringing hot chocolate going to prove anything?

Dumb excuses…

“Fine, fine, I'm going to get some hot chocolate, just stop teasing,” you grumbled and stood up. Did you and Jenna really look like there was something going on between you? You were just really good friends! Sure, you had feelings for her but nothing happened between you!

~X~

Jenna felt a bit squirmish, after all Mikey was rather perceptive and she could tell the slightly older girl was catching on to Jenna’s feelings. “There really isn't anything going on between me and Y/N,” perhaps the pout on her face was giving it away or perhaps she really was that obvious when it came to her feelings for you.

To her surprise Mikey shrugged as if she wasn’t shocked by Jenna’s denial. “Oh, I know. You wouldn't look so jealous if  the two of you were together.”

Jenna turn around so quickly she actually got a bit dizzy “I'm not-“ she quickly tried to deny it.

“Hush! I've seen how you looked at that barista flirting with Y/N, or at me just now because I was alone with her in such romantic circumstances,” yet Mikey didn’t sound even slightly offended as she showed around at the sunset and the rooftop and yeah, maybe it did seem a bit more romantic than Jenna would dare to admit. “Also, you missed how she looked at you. You're both so whipped it's almost sickeningly sweet. She looks at you like you are the center of the universe,” there were no intentions behind those words, Mikey didn’t look at you that way, she was simply saying what she noticed. Mikey was ridiculously cool and Jenna couldn't help but admire her admired bold and strong approach Mikey took to everything she was doing, but she didn’t appreciate that same approach being taken regarding her own feelings towards you.

Besides she thought she would have this conversation with Melissa if she really had to have it with anyone on the cast. “She doesn't look at me like that,” Jenna denied it as she looked down between her feet remembering how you lied to her two nights ago. You apologized, sure, but the lie remained and you never told her where you were really about to go. It really wasn’t her business or right to demand to know, but there was a part of her that believed all the moments you shared gave her the right to ask and know the answer. Would you really be looking at her the way Mikey described if you couldn't even open up to her?

“Yeah, so how come she spent so many nights with you,” Mikey asked so casually and Jenna felt like her heart was about to explode with how fast it was beating.

“What?” she managed to ask, her words barely louder than a whisper as her brain went into overdrive.

“I heard you laughing, mostly. I know there is nothing going on, but I also know you spend nights together. The walls are ridiculously thin, I'm sure Melissa knows too but I also think she knew beforehand as well,” this was Jenna’s worst nightmare. She spent weeks thinking the two of you were keeping your late night meetings a secret yet here she was, learning they weren’t so secret after all.

How did she never hear Amber or Melissa?

Oh, right. The answer was around her neck…

There were so many implications in what Mikey said Jenna felt like her overthinking mind couldn’t keep up with all of them. The walls were thin so it confirmed to Mikey and quite possibly Melissa that you have spent a lot of time with Jenna in her room. And the thin walls confirmed to Mikey, and possibly Melissa as well, that you and Jenna did not actually get together, at least in a more intimate way. Jenna couldn't remember the last time she got this red and embarrassed and desperate for the ground to swallow her whole. She never felt this exposed in her entire life.

“Sorry,” well what else was she supposed to say besides just apologize for keeping Mikey awake,

“No, it's OK. You never kept me awake, you weren't that loud. Don’t worry, I’ll keep it a secret and let you confess instead of spilling the beans to your, sorry Tara’s, guard dog,” Mikey was having too much fun with this if that shit eating grin was anything to go by.

Jenna just groaned, hoping you wouldn’t com back right away, because she wasn’t sure how she could look you in the eyes after this.

~X~

This was it. One last scene, the scene that was moved back quite a bit, actually, and the movie would be done, well, at least your part of the job.

Originally you were supposed to film this scene while Emma was still here, but when you were getting ready to film it the equipment failed somehow. You couldn't really remember what it was. Either the lighting wasn't good, or something was wrong with the camera, or something else entirely, and it was late so you just moved it to another day. And that another day just kept being pushed back and back and now here you are on the final day of the shooting Scream filming the scene where Gale calls your character to ask her why they were all coming back to Woodsboro.

“OK everyone let's wrap this movie up!” Tyler instructed as you and Jenna got in your positions, which was in the bed with Jenna acting like she was asleep on top of you with both of you embracing one another as much as the supposed wounds your characters took could allow.

And then it happened again. The scene was probably cursed or something.

“Sir,” one of men on the filming crew approached Tyler almost timidly. “The mic isn't working, I just sent Rick to get another one,” you all heard it loud and clear and the silence that engulfed the room was so loud, so consuming and ridiculous you almost laughed. There were only a handful of times in your life where the phrase ‘so quiet you could hear the pin drop’ could fit to the situation as good as it did right now. And neither you or Jenna dared to say a single word. In fact Jenna just didn't move at all and you figured you should probably follow her example so you didn't move either just closed your eyes trying to ignore the absolutes ridiculousness of this situation

At least Matt and Tyler weren't mad about it as they just began laughing about the absurdity of everything that was happening.

The room lit up and you saw people walking around keeping the set ready for the continuation but it didn't matter you barely paid attention to them. The only thing you paid attention to the was the girl in your arms.

You looked at Jenna, sleeping there, you looked at her peaceful face, at the freckles covering her cheeks, her hair, her lips, you felt the subtle squeeze of her arms around your waist and listened to the soft sound of her breathing. Her grip on you was soft and barely there but in a way unyielding and you were reminded of that night one week ago when she kept you from going to- from leaving the hotel.

You resisted the urge touch her cheek, to hold her closer, to tell her how you felt because deep down you were afraid. You had to stop going to those events. What a laughable way to call underground fighting. Unless you properly stopped you had no right to tell her anything about how you felt. As it was you were a mess, and she did not deserve to deal with that. So, you promised yourself you would just keep quiet.

When the equipment was finally fixed you barely realized about half an hour had passed and you did not want to delay the filming anymore, so you gently nudged Jenna until she woke from her slumber.

“Hey, sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep, I’ve just been tired lately,” she apologized and probably by accident snuggled closer to you.

“It's OK, you didn't miss anything,” you said, ignoring how intimate this entire thing between you and Jenna felt. You needed to fix yourself before addressing that. Nearly going and participating in a fight proved it to you.

A/N: So, this was supposed to go a bit further down the timeline, Hugh was supposed to show up, there were supposed to be talks of future projects, and set up Reader meeting Jenna’s family, but you know what, I think this is a good cliffhanger. And it was still longer than 6k, so, there’s that.

Taglist: @lilbitdepressed27 @freakshow2501 @osnapitzmel1 @belatrixdragon @ijustlovemaths

@niqmandu @justspance @mirage018

Masterlist / First Part / Previous part

[mooncatgirl]

18+

Daryl Dixon x f!Reader

Summary: Daryl and y/n go on a supply run

cw: smut, cursing, mentions of weed

(This is my first time writing in about 5 years... be kind)

(Daryl's pov) It was late at night and I could not sleep, not with her so close.

It was earlier that day that y/n and I had left the group at the prison for a supply run. It was a routine I would never get tired of. Driving my motorcycle around the barren streets with her soft hands wrapped around my waist. The way her thighs grasped me. We'd scan our surroundings looking for something, any sign of supplies. Today we had found a desolate grocery store with little food left. We walked among the shelves, shoving anything that we could find into our bags. She walked close beside me, our arms brushing every so often.

She reached for a jar of peanut butter and looked at me with a warm smirk as she placed it in my bag.

"I know you like that," she said. My mouth hung agape at the seemingly innocent words that came from her. I snapped out of it when a walker turned the corner and it was face to face with the girl. She quickly grabbed the thick knife stuffed in her belt and stabbed it in the head as she had so many times before. The blood splattered across her face and somehow it only made her look better.

I am sick.

"Thanks," I murmured. She looked at me with a smile, "Not anything you couldn't have done." She replied.

"For the peanut butter," I said. I couldn't look her in the eyes for more than a second. Her gaze made me nervous, made me weak.

"No problem" she said as she began down the next aisle. "I'm pretty sure the first time I saw you smile was when we found some in that weird factory." she chuckled. She remembered.

I mentally smacked myself for being so happy over an act so small. It's just peanut butter.

"You mean the one with all the puzzles?" I asked. We had found ourselves trapped in the factory that day. The outside dark and surrounded by walkers. We had spent all night talking as we put together a bunch of puzzles we had found in a storage room.

"Mhm" her eyes lit up as she scanned my face. She looked to the window on our right. "Sun will set soon. Should we find a place to sleep?" she asked.

"Saw a house about two miles west from here. Looked small but safe." I recalled.

"Lead the way," she said.

_____________________________________________

Once we had cleared the shack we began to settle in. Y/n lit a few candles she had found lying around as I barricaded the door with a nearby dresser. I watched as she removed her plaid flannel in the warm hue of the light. Her arms looked so soft, I admired her as she walked over to the bed. The way her jeans hugged her round ass, her thighs. Her calves.

Jesus how long had I been staring? She watched me from the bed with a confused look on her face.

"Don' mind sleeping on the floor," I broke the silence, avoiding her gaze once more.

"I don't mind you sleeping in the bed," she said, tilting her head. Fuck. She slowly moved to the side as I walked over slowly with my head down. Why would I say no?

I sat on the edge of the bed and began to take off my boots as she adjusted the thick black blanket and began to lay down.

I laid beside her, my back against the headboard as she laid still. I was scared to look at her in fear that she'd be looking back. Fear that if I did I would once more get lost in the awe of her face. Fear she'd catch me.

"What do you miss most from before?" her soft voice said quietly.

"Wha" I grunted. Why is she asking me this? Why does she care?

"From before all this. What do you miss?" she asked, her body still facing me completely as she laid on her side.

"I don' know" I whispered. I really didn't. Nothing from now was different from how it was to me. In both times I've just wandered aimlessly, survived. The only difference is now I have a community. Something to desire. Someone to yearn.

"Really you can't think of anything?" she asked half shocked.

"Not really. Maybe weed." I said with a smirk as I looked down on her.

And there it was, that gaze. That way her eyes fixed on me. My face felt flushed as I smirked to myself.

"Damn it you stole mine" she smiled to herself as she turned to lay on her back, breaking eye contact. I watched as she did so. I couldn't help but notice as her chest moved up and down from her breathing. Her nipples barely peering through the fabric of her white t-shirt.

"Goodnight Daryl" she hummed as she turned her back to me and rested her arm underneath the pillow below her.

"G'night" I muttered. I stayed still, my eyes glued to her body. The way the blanket upon her clung to her curves. The way her legs shifted back and forth as she began to drift to sleep. The way her lips curled into a slight smile, similar to a cats, as she finally was asleep.

God she was beautiful. God am I pathetic.

____________________________________________

(Your pov) "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck" You moaned fervishly as he rammed into you repeatedly. His head buried in your neck as your nails dug into the muscle of his back. He grunted lowly as he continued pounding into you. Your legs wrapped around his waist as his cock continued plunging into you. "Please Daryl" you moaned as your body filled with ecstasy.

Slowly you opened your eyes, observing your surroundings as you calmly woke. It was only a dream. Your eyes fell upon the legs of the man beside you. They moved across his long body. You laid still as you admired the shape of his arms. The definition alone making you sigh lowly as you imagined them wrapped around your torso. You looked up to his face to see he was already looking at you. His gaze softened as a smirk tugged at his lips. You smiled back, trying to ignore the happenings of your mind moments before.

You maintained eye contact, beginning to wonder if this too was a dream. There's no way he hadn't looked away yet- as he had so many times before. You grew concerned.

"What?" you whispered. Was something wrong? Had something happened while you were asleep? Was he trying to give you a signal?

You relaxed as his smile grew and his eyebrows raised into a smug look. "You have a nice dream?"

Your heart sank as you looked at him confusedly. How had he known? "What are you talking about?" you asked in hopes he knew less than you thought.

"You talk in your sleep" he whispered as his body turned to you. "You say things," he paused, biting his lip ever so slightly, "You moan things" His eyes flickered across your face as he lifted his large hand to gently move a strand of hair from your face. You observed his face, looking for a sign that he was joking. That this wasn't real. But as he moved his head in front of yours and his thumb rubbed gently over your cheek, you knew it was. He leaned, kissing you softly as his hand cradled your head, slowly moving to the back of your neck.

You kissed him hungrily. You couldn't believe this was really happening, but you were so glad it was. Your hands cupped his face as he deepened the kiss, his other hand moving below your shirt to grasp at the skin. His grip was strong, like he was never going to let you go. You'd be okay with that.

Quickly the kiss became ever so passionate, as he shoved his tongue into your mouth, you moaned at the feeling. His hands moved up and down your body before he began to unbutton the buckle of your jeans. He fumbled with the zipper before pushing them down your legs, you hurriedly kicked them off before moving on top of him. You straddled his waist and grinded down onto his clothed cock. The roughness of the jeans making a pleasurable friction atop your clit.

You continued to push down on him back and forth. His hand explored your body harshly before you began to pull your shirt off. His hands followed yours like a shadow as you lifted it up, meeting your hands and pulling off your shirt himself. His hands immediately went to your back, pulling your chest to his. Holding you tightly as you broke the kiss for air. In that moment his mouth flew to your breast, your skin. He wanted to breathe you in. He kissed and bit at your skin while his hand traveled down to your covered pussy.

"Fuck" he murmured at the contact to your wet panties. You needed him. He slowly began pushing at your clit before beginning to press circles into it. You moaned at the pressure, slowly beginning to tug at his shirt. You fervently tugged at the bottom of his black tee, he lifted it over his head and threw it somewhere into the dark. He moaned as you continued to press into his hand, your weight heavy on his hard cock.

He bit at your neck while his free hand groped your ass in his lap. He was sloppy, hungry. The noises he was making were something you had never heard from him before. They were so pathetic and raw. He was affected by your every move, your every sound.

He continued rubbing you in an erratic circle, faster and harder. Your head rolled back as your jaw hung open, you let out a pornographic moan. Your eyes squeezed shut and you began gripping at his shoulder for balance. Suddenly he stopped his movement before grabbing your torso with his arms you loved so dearly before putting you on your back. You perched your legs and let your thighs surround the man in-between as he quickly removed his belt and unbuttoned his pants before leaning down to pull your right leg over his shoulder.

He softly placed kisses on the plump skin of your calf before pulling your damp panties off of you. The cool air startled you. "Daryl," you whispered out of breath. "Please"

You pulled at his pants with your hands, begging him to take them off. You felt empty. You wanted him to stuff you completely. He got his pants off as quickly as he could, not wanting to leave from between your legs any longer than he had to. Once he got his pants off he quickly removed his boxers as well. His dick sprung to his stomach, veiny and red, practically pleading. Out of pure instinct and lust you spit on your hand and reached for it. Mixing your spit with the wetness of his precum you began palming it slowly as his eyebrows furrowed, he slowly hovered over you, whimpering at the contact.

You made out heavily as he slowly began to trail his dick down all the way to your throbbing pussy. Aching for him. He slipped it up and down your wetness, slowly grazing. You moaned frustratingly at the agonizing need for him. He leaned down to kiss you softly and began slowly pushing inside. You moaned hungrily into the kiss as he kept pushing his long cock into your tight hole. He continued whining into your mouth is head falling to your chest once he was fully inside, peering down at the view of him stuffed inside. He stopped for a moment letting you adjust to him. He looked upon you, his eyes filled with lust and want.

Slowly he began moving into you, his dick hitting spots you could never reach. You moaned in pure pleasure as he picked up his pace. He held you tightly, fucking up into you.

"Oh fuck" you sighed. He pressed his hand onto your stomach, pressing into you. Your eyes squeezed shut as he continued pounding into you. Your fingers grasped at his back as his head dropped to your shoulder. Fucking you mercilessly. He moaned into your neck, a number of curses falling from his lips.

Your legs pulled him in by his waist, his hands holding you right where he wanted you. He filled you so deeply you didn't know if you could bare him ever leaving your warmth. You moaned endlessly as he kept at his pace. Before you knew it your back was arching as you ass pressed into the mattress. Your mouth agape your orgasm flooded over you and he guided you through every wave. "Fuck Daryl Fuck" you screamed as you squeezed his bicep, riding out your high.

"So fucking pretty" he groaned as he began slowing his pace as you came down. Your pussy ached as he slowly pulled his dripping cock out of your hole. He held his cock in his hand as he pumped his load onto your stomach. His head flew back in a soft moan as he came. You whimpered as his warm cum landed on your skin.

Slowly he leaned down to lay beside you, his leg draped over yours. You looked over to him, still catching your breath. He kissed your shoulder softly and got up to grab his boxers from where they were laying beside him and slowly wiped your stomach clean. You watched in awe as he pulled the blanket over the two of you completely, wrapping his arms around you before pulling you in to lay atop his chest. You soaked him in, breathing in his scent.

"G'night" he whispered, kissing the top of your head.

[sitronsangbody]

Thank you for asking!

There are a lot of factors that go into this, including but not limited to (and in no particular order):

- not everyone has access to good nutrition. Some people can't afford fresh produce, some have no ability to store it, and some live in places where you plainly can't get a lot of foods (so-called food deserts). For some, it's low variety and heavily processed foods, or nothing.

- a number of medical conditions cause weight gain and/or make weight loss even more difficult than it already is, this is easily googleable stuff if you're interested

- mental illness and especially eating disorders obviously influence people's food intake. No one chooses to have an ED. The most common ED is binge eating disorder, and the majority of people with EDs are in the overweight category. Anxiety and the accompanying hormones has also been shown to affect fat storage around the stomach. How we feel over time impacts our bodies a lot.

- some people can't cook for themselves. Maybe they have chronic pain or disabilities that make it impossible, maybe they just don't have the time or energy between work.

- let's not forget kids. Children often have little to no say in what they eat. They don't choose their meals, and some don't choose the amount - some get less than they're hungry for, and some are expected to clear their plate even if they're full.

These are things that are important to keep in mind re: the choices people may not have when it comes to their nutrition and the limits to individual control. But also:

- some people gain weight as they become adults simply because their metabolism changes and that's their normal body now

- some people just are fat, they're fat as kids and as teens and as adults. This is true for every society where the population isn't perpetually starving.

Finally, it's important to know the following:

- being fat is not inherently bad for you. Not all fat people have health problems related to their fatness, and as such there's no medical reason for them to try to change their bodies.

- intentional weight loss is very complex and very difficult, and statistically unlikely to maintain. The human body is programmed to retain energy, not shed it. Most people who lose substantial amounts of weight gain it back within a few years. Dieting comes with a lot of health risks and abysmal odds of success, yet it's still so often sold as the obvious right choice for anyone who's fat.

- even if you could look at someone's lifelong history with food and exercise and establish that they're objectively to "blame" for their fatness (which is of course not how life works), so what? That doesn't make it okay to discriminate against them, bully them, or overstep their boundaries. Nor does it mean that they can definitely lose the weight if they just choose to.

If you should decide to really dive into this issue, I recommend the book "what we don't talk about when we talk about fat" by Aubrey Gordon as a starting point 🙂

A core feature of anti-fatness is the "you did this to yourself"-view. People are very invested in the idea that size is within everyone's control. It's soothing to believe that all fat people are a small series of good choices away from becoming thin and staying that way, and that thin people are success stories by virtue of existing.

Any time we speak up about discrimination and fatphobia, someone inevitably plays that card. Trolls will say "eat a salad, pig" and well-meaning health nuts will gently explain what calories are. In either case, we're met with a "you know, you can stop this at any time." Why, if nobody was fat, thin people wouldn't need to examine their biases! It sure would be an easier time for everyone if we weren't so Around and Bulliable!

[ratretro]

So because I'm not normal about them I kind of wanted to look at a specific page of this comic:

Buckle up this is gonna get long

I think it's very interesting that Till isn't in his own art piece, to start with, but also how this scene is portrayed. Throughout the 4nakt Garden pages you see a different side to Till. The side where you get an idea about how serious music is to him and how deeply he loves it (maybe even because it's one of the last connections to his mom that he has). You see how deeply he loves to create in the way he draws. Almost as if he wants to leave pieces of himself behind, to show he was in this world and that he had lived.

In his biggest artwork, while he's not in it, the other 4nakt are a centerpiece of it. You have Mizi (she's a bit more detailed and so a bit more noticeable right off the bat) underneath the tree, wind blowing through her hair and it feels very free. Like she could do anything, be anyone, lead everyone around her.

Behind her is Sua at a slight distance which we've never seen before. Where Mizi is, Sua will always follow, but here she seems to hang back. She's not showing movement as if she means to follow like Ivan who's walking.

Now, Ivan is separate from the other two, but he's walking forward with what feels like intent to me. Who knows what he's up to or where he's going. We just know he's moving forward. But this is often how Till felt about Ivan anyway. Till has always said he doesn't understand Ivan; Has even called him annoying lol but it's the gap between the 3 that has me curious.

Maybe Till was wondering if that was where he should be. Maybe I'm delusional because he was consistent in his affection for Mizi (whether it be seeing her as his god or just having a boy crush) but I'm thinking about the way he hesitated in the meteor scene. I'm always thinking about the meteor scene it's my roman empire.

What if Till isn't in the piece because he doesn't know where to be. Is he moving forward with Ivan or staying behind with Sua to always be behind Mizi but not dare to be near her? What if this piece holds his slight confusion.

He hesitated before leaving Ivan behind in the meteor scene. Art portrays the emotions of the artist is what I've been told and Till is at his core very emotional. Till feels with his entire being. And that has always seeped into his work whether it be songs or sketches. Examples: drawing Mizi on his music sheets, drawing Ivan on the Cure lyrics after he died. A mixture of music and the things he's thinking or feeling in that moment.

Now, I'm sorry to be delusional it's my fatal flaw

But in the scene where we get to see the finished work it says that the 'product' was not left to be lonely and Mizi is clearly in front of him but he's not interacting with her; he's interacting with Ivan. This page that's putting emphasis on Till not being lonely does have the people he cares for in his art and Mizi does have a clear place in that, but physically he's hanging back with Ivan.

Everything is always a bit too late with those two but maybe Till had finally made a choice to walk forward with Ivan.

Anyway thanks for reading my delusional take on ivantill

[rei-ismyname]

Logan tried to murder Chuck. What then?

After the sun set on Krakoa and the dust settled, Charles Xavier surrendered himself to 'human authorities.' He was being transported to his super prison built by Reed Snitchards and Tony Nark when...

Logan came to kill him in a very unsubtle way. Surely those guards died or at minimum suffered serious permanent injuries. What little we get of his motivation is an objection to Chuck's time as Sentinel X - killing a bunch of humans. Logan Behavior, basically. Certainly hypocrisy.

Pretty stylish entrance though, The Shining style. He's just about to gut him after Chuck declines explaining himself or speaking at all. Keep in mind resurrection Protocols just phased into another dimension - Logan is aiming to kill Xavier permanently (comic book permanent obviously) here despite the fact he's going to prison for life. He'd actually be subverting punitive state justice here.

I hardly need to say that this is pretty extreme for Logan. He's killed countless people, but for the last few decades he's worshipped the ground Charles walks on. After AvX, when Chuck committed suicide by Phoenix, Logan appointed himself the custodian of 'the dream' and ran the school (though he renamed it after Jean because he's a creepy and petty man.) Cyclops is often held up as Chuck's heir, but I think Logan is just as much. (Though Jean and Storm beat them both out and surpass him.) Maybe this is a hypocritical broken pedestal moment.

Magneto objects, freezing him in place and proclaiming 'no more martyrs.'

Did you know 9/10 failed murderers say 'cripes?'

Then he yeets him out of the prison and levitates it so he can't get back in. Mags and Chuck have a chat and we see nothing of Logan until Wolverine #1.

These people all need therapy. Emotional intelligence so low.

That murderous unilateral motivation seems to have cooled - 'Charles doin' what he did' is third on his list of things that took their toll. Not to minimise his pain, but everyone else has experienced those things too. Many had it worse. Scott, for example, was tortured for six months with his eyes sewn shut and a broken back (which... healed somehow.) If someone else was doing this he'd call them out at best, more likely he'd tell them to get over it. This is #Logan Behavior, though it's weird he doesn't mention Daken's death.

I'm 99% sure this is next chronologically. Scott says Logan was 'in the area so he asked him to investigate' - 'the area' being Santo Marco, a fictional South American country that Magneto briefly conquered in 1963. The X-Men answered his distress call.

No mention of Chuck here, and he greets Scott warmly. No thank you though. They patch him up back at the Factory. Looks like he does have use for X-Men.

Wolverine can absolutely give up. It's his thing.

From 'I never should have left the woods' this has to be after Wolverine #1, but before Uncanny X-Men #1-4, because that takes place over a few days and the phone call between Rogue and Scott implies so. We only get the end of this conversation, but it's very safe to assume it was a soft recruitment offer and assumption of a family relationship. No mention of Chuck here either. He claims he's done, citing Krakoa as a loss. It is a loss, but it also bought back the 16 million Genoshan dead and established a mutant paradise in a heaven dimension - one he could have gone to.

Also, Logan didn't build shit. He had nothing to do with Genosha, in fact he opposed and obstructed it. He bailed on Utopia and the narrative kept genocidal threats away from the school. He had little to do with building Krakoa itself and while he went on the missions he was asked to, he remained a skeptic the entire time. He didn't trust the island and lived on the moon in a polycule. Anyway, he tells Scott not to come looking for him. I promise you he wouldn't say that to Jean.

She's right, they're not strategists.

Looks like he's fine hanging out with Rogue and Gambit. Rogue seemed fine with joining Cyclops and co, but doesn't argue at all when Logan (who is hours away from leaving and has no intention of staying) shoots it down for... reasons? They were X-Men enough when they rescued him from Santo Marco, ingrate.

Neither should struggle to imagine a community 'run' by Scott Summers. Logan has been living with him for at least 3 years and he wasn't everywhere when Logan and Jean were banging. Rogue was on a Krakoan X-Men team with Scott and he and Jean prepped new leaders and stepped back. They all considered themselves Krakoan and Scott 'lived to serve.' How does it end this way? The Chuck question answers itself, though Logan doesn't say 'I wish Magneto didn't stop me killing him' or something. Scott? Uhhh, you took this misanthrope's grumbling as gospel. Go to Alaska and say hi! Or maybe he'll call you. Kate? Uhm, she just told you. She broke in Fall of X, you know this.

Interestingly, Logan uses the term 'fill Chuck's chair.' I thought he was quitting the parts that don't work? 'Why do you even want to?' should be self explanatory. Rogue receives a phone call after this from Scott, and she says he's 'the last person she wants to speak to.' Maybe Logan is right and he shouldn't be around people. He infected Rogue with Scott haterism very quickly.

The Outliers show up and less than a day later he leaves, heading for the nearest forest. Even the swamp hag that guts him thinks he's a whining bitch. Logan is aware that Rogue's group are planning a prison break, that children are being hunted, though it doesn't stop him leaving.

Put all this together and it paints a very human portrait of a traumatized person pushing everyone away, albeit in the most immature way possible. This is what Magneto referred to when he said Logan Behavior, and he's right. If I was talking about a real life person it'd be unforgivably callous, but I'm not. I wrote this piece to interrogate his continuity from Krakoa to FTA, and I was expecting it to make less sense to be honest. As I said, this is textbook trauma response. It portrays that well, but the whiplash of Logan going from 'murder Chuck no matter the collateral damage' to 'Chuck did bad things but Cyclops is worse - don't be friends with him, Rogue' is severe and unsatisfying.

Uncanny #700 was one of the last things written for Krakoa, so it's likely that information wasn't available for FTA writers. Except Logan and Kate had both sworn they'd kill Chuck with plenty of notice, so I don't think that deserves a pass. Is anyone surprised by this? Maybe I should just write a post that says 'From The Ashes doesn't care about smooth continuity and has clumsily broken up these teams by fiat. Just ask Havok, Polaris, Angel, Storm, Omega Red, Jubilee and Shogo, etc etc. Also, it's pretty fucking mid' and pin it on my Tumblr.

That's no fun though. Even when it sucks, when it's safe and nostalgic, when everything you loved has been swept away and replaced with cardboard cutouts, when it's 'fine I guess', and even when it's great; the play's the thing. I love the X-Men and fans have as much ownership of the story as anyone. Not entitlement, just the right to be a part of the narrative, close to the characters. I find it fun and if I ever don't I'll stop (or spend a few years covering Krakoa). I hope you do too. Importantly, you should be critical of the things you love in good faith. As for Marvel the capitalist entity - all bets are off. Fuck em. They do it for the money, we do it for the love.

[n0vazsq]

The art of forgivness | PA17 x Reader

pairing . . . paul aron x f!reader

summary . . . When Paul and (Y/n) have a fight, he doesn't know if she'll ever forgive him. However, he decides to take his chance and ends up with a happy girlfriend.

request . . . no!

word count . . . 1.1k

warnings . . . cursing

alexavia yaps . . . little random story idk i kinda stole it from myself <33 tell me who yall want in the next one <3

It was almost noon now, Paul knew damn well that he should be practicing on the sim, but he wasn't. 

He re-read the messages between him and (Y/n), for what seemed like the millionth time. Was he really that much of an asshole? He couldn't believe how she didn't physically attack him, he'd want to do it to himself.

Cocky, annoying and asshole-ish. That was he was to (Y/n), and he didn't understand why she still dealt with him. Perhaps homicide of oneself would be useful now.

His fingers lingered over the keyboard, aching to send her a message. It was so painful to restrain himself, he basically longed to see the blue message appear on his phone.

Sighing, he closed his phone and looked at himself in the mirror. His hair was messy, he looked rougher than usual. He guessed that this would happen when the thing you love most is taken away from you.

He brushed his hair slightly with his hands, and put on the rings (Y/n) gave him, the ones he always wears. Grabbing the bouqet he had bought off his bedside table, he closed his hotel room and went out into the dangerous, dangerous hallway. 

Paul knew he had fucked everything up when (Y/n) didn't respond to his text. Usually, she'd reply within seconds, always surprising him with her fast replying speed.

If only she was as fast to forgive him.

Something like this happening was inevitable, whether they liked it or not. They were both foolish to think that they'd have a relationship with no fighting whatsoever. Stupid of them.

The thing was, it wasn't only this recent fight that made them like this. No, it was multiple mini fights that just made their frustration build up to the point where they both snapped. 

Paul was wrong, he knew that. But he couldn't bring himself to admit it, always so stubborn, both of them. He knew that if he did, he was going to be teased, even though it was the right thing to do.

And after a very heated argument with himself, he'd decided to go apologise to (Y/n). He had promised himself to not get cold feet when he arrived at her hotel room. But as he stood there, a large bouquet in his hands, he felt the urge to run off and never return. 

He was already regretting his choice of flowers: white lilies, blue hydrangeas, and a few blue hyacinths thrown in just for the aesthetic. Why'd he chose blue specifically? He'd never know. 

The shame and guilt felt heavy on his shoulders, weighing him down as he took a deep breath, finally bringing himself to knock on her door. Two heavy knocks and one light knock, that was their code. Paul slightly regretted doing the secret knock, what if she didn't open the door because she knew it was him?

Stop that, take deep breaths and calm down. He'd told himself, the dread slowly enveloping him the longer (Y/n) took to open the door. It was very dreadful.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she opened the door. Paul had to force himself to not start sobbing from relief. (Y/n) had opened the door! This was one small step for her, but a giant leap for him. 

He was brought back to reality by his girlfriend clearing her throat, glaring at him, as if urging him to speak. Her eyes were slightly bloodshot, her face a bit paler than usual. Had she been sick? He knew that she got sick easily, and more often than not, he'd find her sniffling and shoving pills into her mouth.

"Uh-hi! How have you been? I....I brought these flowers for you. I know you don't like red roses so I choose against them but then had the weird urge to-"

"Yes, yes. Thank you. Why'd you come here?" (Y/n) cut him off, her tone frustrated, or maybe annoyed. He didn't know why he started talking so much, good job you idiot.

He should've asked Ralf or even Dino for help. This was a bad idea, he already regretted it. Now he'll never be able to get his girlfriend back and she'll never forgive him.

"Paul! What is the matter with you? Speak." He was so caught up in his own thoughts that he forgot about (Y/n) standing infront of him. Ironic.

"Ah, yeah. I just came here to apologise to you, I was an asshole and I knew I was wrong. I am so sorry, kallis," He mentally facepalmed when she raised an eyebrow at that. "I just want you to forgive me, I should have cared and noticed when people were hating on you. I love you so much and don't want to lose you. So please, just forgive me, (Y/n)."

Wow, where'd he pull that from? He should start considering a job in film writing, or even writing books. His lines would probably have people sobbing.

(Y/n) narrowed her eyes at him, her face pulling into an awkward, forced smile. Maybe he should stick to being a racing driver.

"I appreciate all this, Paul. I really do. But..."

But what?! 

"You really didn't need to bring flowers, you could've just came and apologised. Thank you."

Paul's anxiety vanished instantly, all hints of the shaking hands he had vanishing. His face formed a grin, his whole body relaxing.

"I-h....I love you so much and I can't deal with losing you again. " He managed to say. His voice shook, as if he was going to cry. He really couldn't lose (Y/n) again.

"I can't either, ange. And I'm sorry, for everything. I love you too." (Y/n) gave him an apologetic smile, and he could see in her eyes that she really meant it.

Paul felt immense happiness flood him, all tension from the past few days disappearing. He wouldn't have known what to do if (Y/n) hadn't forgave him

"So...are we back together?...." Paul trailed off, he really didn't know at this point. 

"We broke up?" She said, tilting her head at him. 

"Oh... Well, I thought we did. Uh, sorry, it was a stupid question. I don't know what I'm saying." He scratched the back of his head. Great, Paul, you ruined it now

"How have you been?"

"Quite depressed, actually. You really did light up my life," (Y/n)'s eyes widened, and her cheeks were tinted red. He still has the charm. "Well, I have to go now. I have to do the track walk with Amaury. See you around, I guess."

"See you."

He didn't know what to do with his arms, part of him stepped forward to hug her, and part of him raised his hands to wave. (Y/n) sighed and pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back while she laid her head on his chest. His heart was propably beating out of his chest, still not used to the feeling.

Then, he swore he heard her mutter something like 'I missed you'.

[seitmai]

But he wasn't look out the bank of windows out towards the beach, in fact, he had his back turned to it. Because he was looking at you.

He is so whipped 🤭

Under normal circumstances, he’d take the hint and move on. And even if his mom hadn’t raised him right- which she had- Rooster knew that just because someone was nice didn’t mean they were interested. Especially when it was their job.

Carole would slap him from beyond the grave

It was more than the way you always seemed to catch him looking, because you were looking right back. Or the way you’d slip him a free drink every now and then, saying it was on the house. Or the way you found a way to brush past him a little too close whenever you'd swing by with more peanuts for Bob or a fresh round of drinks for his friends.

Just some little coincidences 🤭

You were so damn smart and funny as hell. He’d taken to spending less time on his ESPN app and more time on the NYT trying to find interesting topics to get to spend a extra few minutes with you. Nothing felt better than earning a smile from you.

That's some dedication, I respect that

"Now I know you're teasing me." He sets his phone down and levels a look at you. "Because we both know you catch me looking often enough to know the answer to that." You press your lips together, but the corners curl up anyways. And then your eyes drop purposefully down. The two of you stare at his phone sitting on the shiny bar top. "You wouldn't," he rasps. "I think I'm legally obligated to. There's a very official wood sign and everything." You look the picture of innocence, but you don't fool him. "Sweetheart, c'mon." "Are you asking me to bend the rules for you? Just because Penny isn't here?"

Not even those baby cow eyes can convince her, which is unstable when it's about Penny's rules, I wouldn't dare going against them either (not even for a pair of baby cow eyes) ☝🏻

"I think you enjoyed that." You smile wider and don't deny it. "I can't lie, it is a fun perk of the job."

Big bonus of that job, I would enjoy it immense every time hehe

He sighs. "And here I thought we had something special." "Stop that, you're too pretty to pout," you tease.

Facts 🤭🤷🏻‍♀️

"Mmhm. I thought it from the moment I saw you strut through that door." You say it like you're letting him in on a secret. "And there’s something you should probably know about me." He leans in closer. "And what's that?" You mirror him, leaning in as well and resting your elbows on the counter. Your face is just inches from his. “I’m really good at getting into trouble.”

I can't decide if I wanna be her or be with her 🤭🤔

He grins. “I’m gonna marry you one day.” You tip your head back and laugh, it’s the best sound he thinks he’s ever heard. 

Rooster is like:

"Alas, it appears I have another gentleman caller," you sing, reaching for the towel and waving it like a handkerchief in his direction. "Guess I'll be seeing you around, Bradley. Maybe at the end of an aisle, who knows, the night is young."

This made me giggle

I loved this story so much!! She is so smooth and Bradley is so in love, the perfect combo for amazing banter 👏🏻

A prompt party, Alexa? How in the world did I miss that? I'd be over the moon if you could write a little something for Bradley + "i’m gonna marry you one day." 🪩 ✨

Rebecca! Now you know I’m always down to write a little something for a smitten Bradley! I hope you enjoy!

It was a surprisingly quiet night at the Hard Deck.

You could actually hear the music playing out of Penny's old juke box, rather than just the faint essence of notes for whatever oldie was queued up over the usual rowdy ruckus. And there were more empty chairs scattered about than there were taken ones.

It was one of the rare rainy days they got in San Diego. The gray skies and drizzle driving even the best of Uncle Sam's finest under blankets and curled up on couches.

Bradley always liked the moody weather. He liked the way the clouds seemed to cling to the coastline. He liked the rough rolling waves as they broke against the shore with more force than they usually did.

But he wasn't look out the bank of windows out towards the beach, in fact, he had his back turned to it.

Because he was looking at you.

Bradley had been trying to ask you out for the better part of two months now. And he was starting to think that you were giving him the runaround.

He'd learned that first evening that you were only filling in as a favor to Penny- she and your mom went way back as sorority sisters- for a few months as Jimmy recovered from his knee replacement surgery.

Under normal circumstances, he’d take the hint and move on. And even if his mom hadn’t raised him right- which she had- Rooster knew that just because someone was nice didn’t mean they were interested. Especially when it was their job.

But he couldn’t kick the feeling that there was something there.

All he needed was one date to prove it.

It was more than the way you always seemed to catch him looking, because you were looking right back. Or the way you’d slip him a free drink every now and then, saying it was on the house. Or the way you found a way to brush past him a little too close whenever you'd swing by with more peanuts for Bob or a fresh round of drinks for his friends.

You were so damn smart and funny as hell. He’d taken to spending less time on his ESPN app and more time on the NYT trying to find interesting topics to get to spend a extra few minutes with you. Nothing felt better than earning a smile from you.

But any time he got close to asking you out or asking for your number, you were pulled away by something or another. The sound of broken glass. A pointed throat clearing from a thirsty patron. An emergency trip to the storage closet.

Rain was good luck in some places, and Bradley needed all the luck he could get. It hadn’t been on his side in the past two month, but tonight was his night. He was sure of it.

Especially considering he was the only person seated at the bar.

You'd been popping out and checking on people, delivering refills personally to the few people who had braved the elements instead of having them come up to the bar.

Rooster was patient, he didn't mind waiting his turn. After all, he had a shiny new NYT subscription to keep him company.

He smiles to himself when you work your way back to the bar, grabbing the bowl of limes and a cutting board, and setting up right in front of him. He watches as you deftly slice and quarter the limes into wedges, their bright scent clinging in the air.

“Why does it feel like I’ve seen less of you tonight than I do when this place is packed?” Bradley asks, saving the article he was midway through before closing out of the app completely.

“I’m just a one woman show here tonight, I told Penny to stay home." You're tidy and efficient in the way you store the prepped wedges and work to clean up the already immaculate bar. "It's means a bit more running around for me. But I don't mind, I like to keep busy."

"So I've noticed."

You look up at him from under your lashes, as you wipe down the prep space. "Have you been keeping tabs on me, Rooster?"

"Now I know you're teasing me." He sets his phone down and levels a look at you. "Because we both know you catch me looking often enough to know the answer to that."

You press your lips together, but the corners curl up anyways.

"Oh, Bradley," you say with a soft sigh. "Bradley, Bradley, Bradley..."

And then your eyes drop purposefully down.

The two of you stare at his phone sitting on the shiny bar top.

"You wouldn't," he rasps.

"I think I'm legally obligated to. There's a very official wood sign and everything." You look the picture of innocence, but you don't fool him.

"Sweetheart, c'mon."

"Are you asking me to bend the rules for you? Just because Penny isn't here?" You tsk, with a self-satisfied smile. "And here I thought you were a Boy Scout."

Bradley just shakes his head amused as you sashay up to the bell and give it a loud, long ring. A couple whoops go up in response, but no one gets up. Yet.

You walk back towards him with an all too pleased smile.

"I think you enjoyed that."

You smile wider and don't deny it. "I can't lie, it is a fun perk of the job."

He sighs. "And here I thought we had something special."

"Stop that, you're too pretty to pout," you tease. "You gave me no choice. I don't make the rules, I just follow them. And as much as I love Penny, I have a healthy dose of-"

"-fear-"

You smirk. "I was going to say respect. But also you're not wrong."

"And what about me?" he asks, sitting up straighter on his stool. "What are your impressions of me?"

"Oh you?" You tilt your head to the side, letting your gaze linger on his face as you muse. "You look like trouble."

"Do I now?"

"Mmhm. I thought it from the moment I saw you strut through that door." You say it like you're letting him in on a secret. "And there’s something you should probably know about me."

He leans in closer. "And what's that?"

You mirror him, leaning in as well and resting your elbows on the counter. Your face is just inches from his. “I’m really good at getting into trouble.”

He grins. “I’m gonna marry you one day.”

You tip your head back and laugh, it’s the best sound he thinks he’s ever heard. 

“That’s a bold statement from the man who still has yet to ask me out on a date.”

He opens his mouth, to do just that, after months of failed attempts. And then another one of the patrons saddles up to the bar, waving you down for your attention.

Rooster groans.

"Alas, it appears I have another gentleman caller," you sing, reaching for the towel and waving it like a handkerchief in his direction. "Guess I'll be seeing you around, Bradley. Maybe at the end of an aisle, who knows, the night is young."

The smile you give him promises that this conversation isn't over yet.

You spin away from him and don’t give him a second glance as you head over towards the thirsty man whose beer is going on his tab, but there’s a sway in your hips that wasn’t there before.

And Bradley thinks to himself, this is going to be fun.