#maybe i just need a hug. im so touchstarved. the last time someone hugged me was over a month ago when mom visited.
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day no. ? of immense anxiety: start
#i feel so bad lately.... i just wanna go home for even a couple of days but i kinda can't. no point with the prices of plane tickets.#me two weeks ago: i don't wanna go home yet. me now: god i wish i could go home soon#idk it's like im constantly abt to cry#and scared of everything. month will go by quick right i can handle it right#i have italian friends here but idk i still have these persistent feelings that i don't belong anywhere and it's the worst#you know the tiny monster living in the back of your head telling that everyone secretly doesn't like u and just tolerates u? yeah.#idk what i would do in finland either but i miss finnish summer. didn't think i'd ever say that but i really do.#maybe i just need a hug. im so touchstarved. the last time someone hugged me was over a month ago when mom visited.#my posts
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being broke, touchstarved and in quarentine means that you stare longingly at the weighted blanket in your online basket desperately trying to work out how to afford it, before slowly resigning yourself to saving up over the next few months
#shut up danni#i'm going to vibrate out of my skin#this ain't no touchstarved level that started bc of covid#this has been building for the last idk three years bc of how rarely i get casual touch#like yeah i hug my mum when she comes home and before bed but it's only like....a temporary fix?#i need to lay in a pile of my friends w my body touching all of them at the same time and we're all just relaxing and chatting#and i need to have someone wrap their arms around my from behind and hold me tight#and i--#easy solution 'talk to your mum abt getting more casual contact' HAHAHAH#yeah no#my mum is kinda awkward w touch and im not really comfortable laying my weight on her#idk its not smth we do#and i've been putting off buying a weighted blanket for ages bc it'd probs help my sleeping too#but hhhhhhhhhh im so bad at saving money!!!!#like TECHNICALLY i can afford it rn#but i'll probably have to borrow some money from my mum to make it until next payday maybe#urgh#i YEARN
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