#maybe he’s somewhat aware of how he acts (he does know that he’s hated by practically everyone) so maybe he collects these charms

[peppermintpillz]

Ok but what do we think of superstitious Aran Ryan. Think about it. He collects horse shoes, always gets up on the count of 7, and has a four leaf clover on his shorts; all symbols of luck. Sure, this is all most likely to lean into the “lucky Irish guy” stereotype, but why else would he have all these good luck charms?

[celestiamour]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ it's a gift (you keep those) ]❜

ft. logan howlett x f! reader — xmen, marvel

╰₊✧ giving him a plushie that reminded you of him┊1k words

setting: deadpool & wolverine (2024) worst! logan contains: fluff, crushes, probably ooc but he’s so cute & wade is hard to write for, written for dp&w logan so idk if he got gifts in xmen, i forgot about laura, they are in touch and have a wonderful father-daughter relationship, i’m so sorry, edited

➤ author's note: i have so many thoughts but too incompetent to write

logan’s never sure who will appear when he opens the door as wade’s quite the extrovert, either vanessa or one of his many other friends whom he’s now become somewhat acquainted with, but he certainly wasn’t expecting to meet the familiar eyes of the cute neighbor who lived a few doors down. he nervously scratched the back of his head, suddenly becoming aware of his shabby appearance, “uh, are you looking for wade?”

“no, i was actually looking for you!” god, your smile is so bright, it’s blinding. he normally hates perfume of any sort as it’s so overpowering to his heightened senses, but the one that you wore smelled so lovely like always. is that a new shade of lip gloss you’re wearing? it really suits you. (why on earth is he noticing all of these details out of the blue? he needs to snap out of whatever spell you put on him after being introduced when he first showed up and only interacting in passing since then).

“looking for me?” he repeated, in disbelief, trying his best not to allow his surprise to slip into his voice. considering he isn’t from this dimension and not the most agreeable person to be around, he had no friends of his own yet and hasn’t been visited by anyone since he got here. a beat of panic struck him, thinking that he was in trouble for something and you came to complain. he really couldn’t think of any other reason you were here for him even though you were so cheerful.

you were carrying some shopping bags with you, dropping them on the ground before reaching into one and pulling out a large fuzzy plushie of a gray cat hidden under layers of glittery tissue paper, “i saw this cutie when i went shopping with my friends and thought it looked like you!” you held it out for him to take, looking so proud of the stuffed animal.

he hesitated for a second before accepting it, trying to take in the fact that you were reminded of him in your day-to-day life. it made his heart flutter, and he found himself dumbfounded by the feeling. he was frequently teased by his roomate about his little “crush” on you, claiming that it was oh so obvious and that the sooner he accepted it, the better, but he never realized until now how pathetic he was when it came to you. was the wolverine really getting butterflies like a fucking schoolgirl in his old-ass age? thank god no one was home right now to bully him about it, he would never hear the end of it.

“it does not look like me,” he scoffed playfully after a quick examination.

“no, it definitely does! it’s a big, grumpy kitty—” you took a step closer to hold it with him, pointing at all the similarities you observed, although it was clear you were exaggerating for laughs. “see the little frowny face and ears? it could be your identical twin separated from birth! willy mentioned that you act like a cat most of the time, and i think it fits perfectly!”

the smile he didn’t realize was plastered on his face faltered at the last piece of information, grateful that you didn’t notice. that idiot has been talking about him to you? he might as well forget about any chance of getting with you, because knowing how he yaps without a filter and loves to play matchmaker, you probably think he’s a freak of some sort. “only good things, i hope…”

you giggled, the sweetest sound he ever heard. “of course, he’s really fond of you… well, maybe a bit too fond, but you already know about that!” you opened your mouth to continue the conversation or say something else, but your phone started ringing and you excused yourself, looking a little shy as you grabbed up your bags. “i’ll talk to you later!” you sounded so excited about the prospect of it before leaving, your voice and footsteps becoming fainter as you walked back to your place.

“wait, you didn’t take back the cat—”

“it’s a gift! you keep those!”

“oh… right…”

he lingered for a moment, unable to say much in response since you left in such a rush. when was the last time someone gave him a present? staring at this brand new item, he still couldn’t see the resemblance in any way, but knowing that it was a gift from you gave him a rare feeling of happiness which returned every time he looked at it from then on among his few possessions. 

“oh my goodness, what is this adorable thing?!” wade exclaimed when he saw it sitting on the couch where logan slept, picking it up to gawk at before tossing it up in the air and catching it before it hit the floor. “ooh, let me guess, it’s a gift from her, isn’t it?” 

the mutant groaned at his mocking tone. “put it down before you ruin it with your grubby hands,” he commanded, snatching it from his grasp (rough enough to make his point clear, but carefully enough not to tear it apart). his roommate didn’t even bother pretending to be offended like he usually would as he was simply overjoyed that his “ship” was coming true. “it doesn’t mean anything, don’t make it weird.”

“it doesn’t mean anything?! how can you say that when it’s going to be the first gift you give to your first child together—”

“first what??”

“nevermind, what are you gonna name it?”

“i have to name it?”

“have you never owned a stuffed animal before? you have to name it! how heartbroken is she going to be when she asks what you named it and you say that you haven’t done that?! she’s gonna think that you don’t value her gifts!” you would think the world was going to end if he didn’t do so if you heard the way he was speaking.

“fine, i’ll name it…” he looked deeply into the toy’s soulless eyes, noting how soft the outer material was against his calloused hand, “... fluffy…”

“that’s such a shitty name—”

“shut the fuck up, it’s been decided.”

[manixpixiefangirl]

Mel being an empath

(Okay i just got say arcane has sparked passion in me i haven’t felt for a show and fandom in yeeeears i haven’t written a meta in forever so bare with me.)

Anyway at first watching act 3 the reveal of Mel being empath felt crazy like that’s such a huge bomb that we didn’t get build up on or much follow through but i do think it explains so much about her character. Traditionally empaths are written to be overly emotional or sensitive sort of like telepaths and being smart but Mel wasn’t written like that she’s quite calm and collected her most emotional outbursts are with her mother and jayce and even with jayce it’s only because he’s hurling accusations at her and she still remains relatively calm in her responses. I think her knowing people’s emotions wether she was aware of this or not plays into this she knows Jayce is coming from a place of hurt and confusion where as her mother back in season one she knows she’s being disingenuous with the reasons of being in piltover.

First watch this just seems like a disgruntled daughter and her mother trying to get on her good side but knowing that Mel can read people’s emotions adds another layer she see right through her mother which not only from just being raised by her but through her her empath skills.

also wanted to bring this up someone pointed this out tiktok and someone else pointed out that this maybe because we’re seeing this scene through Mel’s POV and since she is empath she see that Maddie is secretly enjoying executing Caitlyn. This got me thinking about her career as council member/politician I’ve wondered how she got so high up while seemingly not only being the youngest member but being young period if she’s assumed to be Jayce’s and Victor’s age this makes her about 24-27 in s1 which is extremely young for council member which essentially this region’s governing body. Being able to sense people’s true intentions allowed her to know who to align herself who not to, knowing when people agreed and disagreed with her, or when people sympathize with your views, causes, or concerns on certain issues which all helped her advance quickly her career. I’m sure being from a high born house helped but we see other high born houses in council positions but they’re all older.

She also seems to be somewhat bored with politics and somewhat disillusioned when we meet her i mean giving a fellow council member a child’s toy almost like a practical joke doesn’t seem like someone who views politics and her colleagues with utmost seriousness it isn’t until she meets Jayce that we see the passion for change. I think being empath she saw that Jayce and Vicktor’s vision for hextech and Piltover and Zaun were pure and genuine which is why she supported them. I also hate the rhetoric that Mel never loved jayce and just manipulated for her own gain she does everything in her power to stay true to him and Vicktor’s vision she doesn’t push him to do anything that goes against their morals and goals. When Jayce is worried about Vicktor and his absence at the council may lead to she reassures she won’t let them corrupt their dream. Like i said early she isn’t written like a typical empath she also isn’t written like a typical manipulator(if you can call her that) she is genuine in what she’s says to Jayce she just also knows how people work and his feelings on the matter so she’s able to play on that.

Ambessa describes her to be too soft and she tells Jayce she didn’t Medarda standards i think the way she operates as empath is the cause of that I don’t think Mel is welling to corrupt herself or others when getting what she wants unlike her Mother and the rest of her family i think they operate much more cut through in their goals.

Whew anyway mind any typos i didn’t mean for this be as long as turned out just wanted to share revelation i had!:)

[wisecura]

Closer

College AU: somewhat enemies to lovers/fwb

Katsuki Bakugo x f!reader 3.3k

Summary: as long as you’ve known him, Bakugo has been your least favorite person. He’s loud, arrogant, and you’re his favorite target to mess with. And how you ended up at the same frat party, on the same night, in the same closet—you’ll never know.

Warnings: enemies to lovers trope, ex boyfriend, you aren’t completely aware how he feels, you hate him, semi-public sex, fingering, kissing, choking, degradation, belittling, pet names, not so nice names, your horny, aren’t we all?, breeding, claiming, jealousy, did I miss anything?

AN: Am I putting off my Sheets series to write another short fan fic? yes. Is that a bad thing? maybe. Should I stop?...*huffs indignantly* no.

Needed a change of pace for a minute so thank you for reading! This is entirely educational for me. I’m still new to writing and need a better grasp on writing out these scenarios and scenes. Thank you for giving this a shot and let me know how it is! Sorry if the proofread is a bit off!

The look in his eye was downright nasty.

Nothing short of plain cruel as he glared down at you.

How on earth you found yourself stuck in a damn near locker-sized closet was a mystery. And how you managed to find yourself squished against your absolute least favorite person, Katsuki Bakugo, was a goddamn anomaly.

“Can you get the hell off my foot-“ You shush him quickly, your ear peeled to the door.

“Don’t shush me. You’re the one who dragged me in here like a damn lunatic. You wanna play seven minutes that badly?”

You glare up at him in the dim closet, his stupid cocky smirk barely visible in the sliver of light from the cracks in the door. He was so smug it was almost unbearable standing this close to him. You’re already kicking yourself for acting so impulsively. Your voice hushes out in a whisper-“Oh, please. I’d rather be stuck in here with a rabid raccoon than you.”

“Tch, you’re practically clinging to me right now. You sure about that, princess?”

Your cheeks flush as you realize just how close you actually are to him, your chest brushing against his every time you breathe. The cramped space offers no room to move away, and his broad shoulders make it feel even smaller. “I’m not clinging to you, you idiot! There’s no fucking room in here to not be touching you.”

He chuckles lowly. The sound reverberating in his chest. You don’t know if it’s the stale beer running through your system or the fact that you hadn’t gotten laid in two months. It’s annoyingly attractive, and you hate the flush that settles across you face. Sure he was handsome as hell—6’2, chiseled body, handsomely sharp features. Deep red eyes that drew you in and that windswept blonde hair. And of course—what ruined everything for you—that mouth.

“Sure, sure. Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart.” Words dripping with a condescension that he reserved solely for you.

And those fucking pet names—You’re about to snap back when you hear the muffled sound of voices outside the closet. Your heart jumps into your throat as one of them catches your attention—it’s your ex. Just the one person you were trying to avoid. He was chatting with someone but it was muffled—“Yeah, I swear I saw her come upstairs. Someone said she'd be here tonight.”

Your blood runs cold, and your fingers instinctively clench at his chest. You lean in closer to hear him through the door. Bakugo stiffens at first, at your somehow closer proximity, then leans down slightly so his lips are near your ear.

“What? you scared—“ your hand covers his mouth in milliseconds. Effectively shutting up the loud mouthed blonde.

He manages to understand your wordless request…but his breath is so warm against your skin, and you curse yourself for the way it sends shivers down your spine. He notices, of course—because of course he does—and his grin turns downright wicked. In hushed tones—

“Relax, princess. He’s not gonna find you. Though if he does, this’ll be one hell of a misunderstanding, yeah?”

“You’re impossible, you know that?”

“Yeah? And you’re a real pain in the ass, but here I am, letting you feel me up like your life depends on it.”

You want to shove him, tell him off, something—but the voices outside the closet are coming closer and closer. You press yourself back against the opposite wall, but only at expense of your stability. Those fucking heels that you insisted on wearing tonight almost took you out. Fortunately, Bakugo managed to steady you. And unfortunately, you now have to feel every inch of his chest pressed that much more against you. His hands now grip your waist tightly, and your almost flush with him. “Careful now. You’re starting to look a little flustered there.”

“I’m not flustered. I’m annoyed.”

“Sure, that’s what that is.” You hear your ex speak again, his voice laced with thinly veiled frustration. Now sounding right outside the door. “Where the hell is she? Did she sneak out or something?”

You hold your breath, your heart hammering in your chest as his footsteps pause. Bakugo notices, his teasing demeanor shifting slightly as his gaze flicks to a sliver in the door. For a moment, he looks almost serious. Before long, the footsteps retreat, and your ex’s voice fades as he heads back downstairs. You can hear his laugh echoing the hall.

The silence in the closet was deafening. You realize you’re still leaning against him as you attempt to move back. You don’t get far though, your legs are basically tangled at this point. Trying to ignore the heat creeping up your neck.

“Don’t. Say. A word.”

Bakugo leans back against the wall, and you know he’s about to push every button you have. This was an awkward situation to be in. And all by your own doing.

“What, about how you were clinging to me like I’m your knight in shining armor? Or how red your face is right now?”

“I swear to god, I hate you.”

He pauses for a second. “Seriously, what’s his deal, though? Why the hell is he looking for you so damn bad? Thought you two were done.”

You glance up at him, your head spinning. The buzz you had was still going—not enough to consider yourself drunk, but enough to make the cramped closet feel warmer than it should be. His sharp crimson eyes are locked on you, his expression a little too serious. Once again he just looked pissed off. You have the mind to feel embarrassed about the situation. The two of you were never close, arguing more than anything.

“I don’t know. He’s…weird like that. He doesn’t like losing, even when he doesn’t actually want me.”

“Tch. Sounds about right. He’s always been a piece of shit.”

Your eyes narrow at him, even though deep down you know he’s right. His abrasive and blunt nature always grated on your nerves. Though there’s something about hearing it now, in this moment, that makes it hit differently. You'd never been one to back down from one of the many fights you shared with him.

“Oh, and you’re so much better? You’ve never been nice to me once, Bakugo.”

He snorts. “Yeah, maybe I’m not nice. But at least I’m not out there screwing around behind your back. You sure know how to pick 'em.”

His words sting and you feel your brows furrowing. You open your mouth to spew the nastiest insult on your tongue, yet before you can get it out, he leans in just enough to make the cramped closet feel all the more smaller. Now sporting some heavy bedroom eyes, his smug looking face come within inches of yours.

“Do you ever close that damn mouth of yours? That’s probably the real reason you and that asshole aren’t together anymore.”

Irritation bubbling over—half from indignation, half from the way his voice drops lower, rougher, like he’s daring you to argue. Why this turns you on so much, you aren’t sure. You felt your thighs clench slightly. Tying to steady your breathing.

“Maybe I wouldn’t have to talk so much if you weren’t always such a jackass!”

You expect him to snap back, to argue, to yell—but instead, he tilts his head, his smirk widening. Knowing. He shifts against you, spreading out all the more, making you hyper-aware of just how close he is. Your heart pounds, the buzz of alcohol mixing with you shit sense of judgement.

Then it happens—you feel his leg between yours, grazing high up on your inner thigh, and a small, involuntary whimper escapes your lips before you can stop it.

Your hand shoots up to your mouth in horror. Embarrassment washing through your very being. The sound hangs in the air, and you instantly wish you could take it back. His eyes widen slightly, obviously a little surprised, before narrowing again. Of course, he leans into it, the teasing his smirk turning downright predatory.

“What the hell was that, princess?”

Your face burns, and you try to turn away, but there’s nowhere to go in the tiny closet. He pulls you closer, the balance on your heels easily teetering you towards him. You try and scramble off his chest—out of the closet, embarrassed and unnervingly needy. But he pulls you towards him again, your hands planted on his chest. You sure as hell couldn't stand the thought of him being the one to throw you a bone tonight. His voice dropping to a taunting whisper.

“Now—hey, hey, where you goin? You just whimper for me? Never thought I’d hear you make a sound like that.”

“I—I didn’t—shut up! and let go!” You hate how breathless you sound. The warmth of his body between your legs was overwhelming, and every inch of space between you feels like too much. You really fucking hated him. Yet the way he looked tonight was so tempting. But that was just the alcohol talkin.

“Nah, I don’t think I will. Not when you’re lookin' at me like that.”

You try to look anywhere but at him, but there’s not much to see in a dim closet, is there? He leans in just enough that his lips are inches from your ear, his voice a low rumble that makes your knees weak. Thank god he was holding you up, right?

“Guess you’re not as tough as you like to act, huh? Or maybe…you just like being put you in your place.”

You open your mouth to argue, to tell him he’s wrong, but the words die in your throat as his hand brushes up your side, slow and deliberate, groping you above your dress. He’s toying with you, and the bastard knows exactly what he’s doing. It’s infuriating how your body betrays you, leaning into his touch. Your fingers grip at his shirt. Your pussy clenching around nothing. His head is firmly planted in the crevice of your neck now, in a far too intimate gesture.

“What’s it gonna be, princess? You gonna tell me to stop? Or are you gonna admit you don’t hate me as much as you think you do?”

You don’t have a second to answer as he nips at you, trailing small kisses in his wake. You feel your hands tremble as you wrap your arms around his neck. You pull him closer.

Bakugo's grip tightens on your waist as you lean into him involuntarily. His cock twitches at the feeling of you pressed against him, as he grinds himself into your sopping core. Your hitched dress making it all the easier. “At least she seems to like me.”

You gasp at the sudden intrusion of his fingers rubbing you through your panties, your eyes rolling back as he expertly plays with your clit. His lips continue their bruising pace, sucking, marking, biting until he finally captures your lips in a brutal all consuming kiss. You whimper against his lips, the punishing pace on your clit has your head spinning. He pulls back, a wet string connecting your lips.

"Fuck you're so wet for me already. Practically drippin'."

He pulls his fingers back, dragging them across his lips, sucking you down till he was clean. His eyes remain on your dazed expression. Yours trail the movement, absolutely feral, practically begging for more. It’s been to long.

"'N you taste so fuckin' good too." His gaze darkened as he watched your hips move against him, seeking some kind of friction. You could feel the heat through his clothes, his dick pressed right up against you. You so badly wanted it inside you—your mouth, your tight hole, hell—anywhere.You couldn’t help but be angry at the loss of his fingers.

"Such a needy little thing. Mmm princess, you're killing me.” You all but whimper at his words, and his restraint snaps. With a damn near animalistic growl, he pins you back against the wall, effectively caging you in place. His head dips, capturing your lips again in another hungry kiss while his free hand hikes your dress up further. He all but rips your panties off, the loud ripping of fabric echoes in the confined space.

You barely notice him slotting them into his pocket, as his fingers finally delve into your slickened folds. His cocked throbbed almost painfully in his pants as you completely melt against him.

You moan against his lips as his fingers slide into your slick heat, a filthy sound escaping you as he starts pumping them in and out roughly. He curls his fingers inside of you, hitting that sweet spot that makes you tremble and whimper even more. He feels your walls tighten around his digits, your body begging for release. He pulls away, looking down at your flushed face, heavy breaths fogging the air between you.

"Do you want me to fuck you?" Instead of any coherent response, you let out a needy whimper, trying to avoid giving him the satisfaction of you begging. As if his fingers weren't knuckle deep in your cunt, making you light headed. As if he weren't inches from giving you the best orgasm you've had all year.

"Not good enough, princess. Tell me how much you want my cock inside you." He nibbles your earlobe, his fingers increasing their pace, pushing you closer to the edge. He was being mean. You know he's just taunting you. But you hated the way his words made you gush.

He could obviously feel your body tensing up, he knew you were close. But you know he won't let you come until you said what he wanted. He bites down harder on your earlobe, eliciting a yelp from you. His other hand grips your hip tightly, steadying you as he thrusts his fingers in deeper. Your slick coating his hand, dripping down your thigh. "Say it," he growls, his voice low and demanding. Your body writhes against his touch, your whimpers and whines picking up. "Come on. You know you want to. Beg me to fill you up." You getting wetter and wetter, gushing around his fingers as they slid in and out effortlessly.

"Please Katsuki…fuck me…please…" Finally, rewarded with your broken plea, he smirks triumphantly before pulling his fingers out of you, leaving you damn near foaming at the mouth.

"About time," He growls, savoring the sweet sound of your desperate panting before he roughly pushes your legs further apart, hiking one leg up. His fingers bruising your thigh, spreading you open for him. His fingers are replaced by something far better—his hard cock. His head falls back with a strangled moan leaving his lips when he finally buries himself in your sloppy cunt. Bakugo doesn't take his time, no, he fucks you like he owns you.

Hard and fast, like a man starved. His movements are rough and animalistic, his hips slamming into yours with groans and grunts of his own. You're sure people outside can hear you, even over the loud music. But you're so cock-drunk, mind hazy that you don't really fucking care who hears you—you just want him.

"You're so goddamn tight, princess." He mutters, his voice husky, and sounding almost impressed. You let out a choked moan, nails digging into his shoulders. He grasps your hip roughly, his pace picking up. Thrusting deeper, faster, harder, until all you can hear are your wet squelches filling the closet. Your tight little pussy clenching around him like a vice. He groans against your neck, teeth digging into the tender flesh.

"Such a greedy little slut, aren't you?" You aren't able to respond—his cock bullying your cervix at every thrust, oh so deliciously. Each word bringing you closer and closer, as you practically drool at the thought of his cum buried into you. You meet his thrust with your own small grinds as he gives you another throaty moan. "Oh fuck yes—" His grip on you tightens, sure to bruise indents forming under his fingertips, as he drives his fat cock into you g-spot repeatedly. "Is this what you wanted? Wanted my big cock to full you up?" thrusting harder with each word. "Fucking needy little thing, you wanna cum for me?" His hand winds up to wrap around your neck, as you clench harder around him. He hisses at the feeling, "Or should I just leave you unsatisfied like that worthless ex of yours?" He smirks down at you and you cant help the gasps coming from your wet lips. "He ever make you this wet, sweetheart? You ever had such a good cock?" You shake your head, quickly, always eager to please.

"No, I fucking thought so." His tone drips with satisfaction. He thrust into you with a brutal ferocity, clearly enjoying the way you whimper and squirm under his touch. "You always did have shit taste in men." His grip tightens on your neck, not enough to suffocate you, but enough to make you gasp and dip your nails in deeper. "But that ends now, princess." He growls against your ear, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine. "I'm gonna be the only one fucking you like this from now on. You hear me? Should I tell you what I'm going to do to you? How I'm going to fill you up—make you mine?" His words are hot against your ear, his breath fanning over your flushed skin. That dick hitting every sweet spot that makes you see stars. "Or maybe I’ll just show you."

His fell grip on your neck tightens just a fraction, making it more difficult to breathe as he slams into you even harder. You hear people in the hallway, but he doesn't seem to care. "I'm gonna fuck you so good you won’t even remember your own name, let alone his." His words boarded on venomous, and if you didn’t know any better—you’d say he was jealous. His hips grind against yours in a punishing rhythm. "Then I'm gonna cum inside you, fill you up with my seed." His voice drops to a low growl as he whispers his intentions into your ear. "I'm gonna breed you. Make you mine." He can feel you tensing around him, your orgasm building fast. "Say it, princess. Say you want me to breed you." He thrusts his fingers into your mouth, coated in your own juices. "Say you want my cum inside you."

"Please, Katsuki…fuck, please, please cum inside me…breed me—" he lets out a low groan at that. "Such a good girl, so fucking good for me." That's all the encouragement he needs. With a growl, he slams into you one last time, his cock pulsing as he fills you up, long streams of curses filling the small space, telling you to take it, take it, sucha good girl. Your walls contracting around him, milking him dry as your orgasm crashes over you, spasming around his cock. His grip on your neck loosens slightly as he pulls back, watching as you ride out your climax. Your eyes are glazed over, mouth open as you try to catch your breath.

"Fuck, princess. That was…goddamn." He pants, resting his forehead against yours. For a brief moment, his expression softens, but it's gone as fast as it appeared. He withdraws from you slowly, a satisfied smirk playing on his lips. You can feel his cum pooling between your legs, dripping down. He reaches down, pushing it back up into you, plugging you up.

"Mmm, look at you. Such a mess for me." He says, voice low and husky, before leaning in and licking a long, possessive stripe on your neck. His body pressing in against yours. Your cheeks ignite at the intimate gesture. It’s felt too—too intimate now. Too much. You finally have some clarity at the situation, "Hey, uhm—" and suddenly there was a knock. Both of your eyes shoot wide open in panic. Bakugo straightens up, pulling himself back leaving you cold, before tucking himself back into his pants. You watch in mortification, tugging your dress back over you legs. You panties missing—somewhere.

Fuck

come home

[f4llingtoyou]

what a shame part II (min ho x reader)

“What if I told you I’ve been wanting to kiss you for months now?” 

read part I here!

wc: ~1.8k an: part 2 is finally here!! i don’t love how this turned out but i did have them kiss so. hope you all enjoy :)

Objectively, you know you’re overthinking this.

He had literally stated, out loud, that he was willing to kiss you. For Min Ho, that was basically a confession of undying love. You know that his interest tends to be fleeting, and you’d be stupid to not act on it when you’ve been presented with the opportunity. 

(It doesn’t help that you’ve been thinking about kissing him for as long as you can remember. It definitely doesn’t help that he’s strolling around his party looking like everything you’ve ever dreamed of.)

You’d like to think maybe he meant it genuinely - that his attraction isn’t just surface level. You’d like to think the flickering warmth that starts up in your stomach every time your eyes meet is a mutual experience. 

But instead of the elation you’d expected to feel at the idea of it all, something like dread settles in the slump of your shoulders.

After all, he’s a flirt. And as much as you’d like to think you’re special, part of you wonders how many girls he’s told that to tonight. You’d value yourself as more than a distraction even if you wonder if he could say the same. It’s all too easy to lose yourself in comparisons and you hate that you’re discrediting him in the process, especially when you’ve gotten to know him in a way that feels far more intimate than his public facade. 

If his intention was to leave you dazed and confused, he can certainly rest easy tonight. But you know you can’t - that you’ll be thinking about him for quite possibly the rest of your life.

You’ll be thinking about his lips on yours, his hands on your back, your back against a wall. 

Something inside you shifts.

Your inner monologue comes to a conclusion. Carpe diem, or whatever.

You down the rest of your drink (some sort of cherry concoction that leaves a saccharine afterthought lingering on your tongue) and leave your bar stool for the second time this evening. You’re embarrassed to admit you know exactly where he is, but you haven’t been able to keep your eyes off of him. He’s seated next to Dae on one of the couches, the spread of his shoulders filling out his suit jacket a little too perfectly. 

You swallow down your nerves and tap him on the shoulder.

The way he turns and looks up at you has your knees going weak. You’re suddenly all too aware of Dae’s eyes on you.

You clear your throat. Your feelings for him lodge in your throat like an aftertaste that won’t go down easy.

“About… your offer,” you begin, and the way he raises his eyebrows has the rest of the sentence wilting on the tip of your tongue. It’s like your thoughts are turning to honey - thick and sweet and slow. It’s all-consuming, the way you lose yourself in him.

He smirks.

 “Oh? You changed your mind?” 

It’s moments like these where you think it’s more than unfair that he knows how attractive he is. 

“Don’t flatter yourself. You’re just… the best available option,” you protest, narrowing your eyes in a false display of confidence. You both know he’s more than the best option. 

“The best available option? There’s no need to lie to yourself like that,” he scoffs, but it’s lighthearted in a way you weren’t expecting. Your friendship has never crossed this line before, and it’s undeniable that you’ve been wondering how this is going to change it. You don’t think you’d mind if he broke your heart, not if you got to have him like this just for a night.

He gets up from the couch, patting a somewhat despondent Dae on the shoulder, and extends a hand to you. “Let’s get out of here, hm?”

You bite back a smile.

“Lead the way.”

And he does.

Of all the things you’re thinking right now, you’re definitely not thinking about the way he slides his fingers between yours like it’s an old habit. It’s absolutely the last thing on your mind. (You’re lying.)

He leads you through the crowds of people with effortless ease. The situation has something equivalent to adrenaline running through your veins. It has you bursting into unabashed laughter - the glittering lights, the music, the people, the way you’re being pulled into a dark hallway to kiss the guy you’re in love with.

Min Ho glances over his shoulder at the sound and you think you could live off the way he smiles for the rest of your life.

“Sorry,” you mouth over the noise between peals of laughter, even if you don’t know why you’re apologizing.

He huffs out a laugh of his own and cocks his head. “There’s nothing to apologize for, darling.”

And even though he says the it somewhat teasingly, the word has your chest erupting in fireworks. You don’t think you’d mind it at all if he called you that more often.

You’ve reached an alcove in one of the hallways, awash in warm buttery light spilling from delicate chandeliers. He tugs you into it with a grin like it’s second nature, and it almost feels like fate the way you fit perfectly in his arms.

Maybe you are special, if he pulled you all the way over here just to kiss you. Maybe you’re not just another face in the crowd.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” you prompt, bracing yourself for the potential disappointment.

He smirks again. 

“What if I told you I’ve been wanting to kiss you for months now?”

Well. In that case.

Your reply comes out as a whisper. 

“So kiss me.”

And he does.

You know that kissing Min Ho will do nothing to help your repressed feelings - but the way he’s tilting his head to make the kiss deeper has your mind going deliciously blank. There’s nothing to overthink when he’s sliding his tongue across your lips like he’s tasting you for the first and last time.

You hope to god it’s not the last.

You test the waters ever so slightly by sinking your teeth gently into his bottom lip, and you’re rewarded with a drawn out groan, his hands tightening on your waist. It’s like electricity bleeding from where his fingers press into your skin, gasps spilling out of your mouth that he swallows down one after the other. You’re practically melting in his embrace as he pushes you gently until your back hits the wall with an audible thump.

Emboldened by his behavior, you thread one hand into the hair just above his neck and tug ever so slightly. 

“Fuck,” he hisses against your lips, and he pulls back just enough that you can catch your breath.

“You sure this is your first kiss?” he mumbles, pressing his mouth to yours one more time before you can respond. Honestly, your head is miles above the clouds right now, but you pull yourself together enough to reply.

“Yeah. Pretty sure,” you whisper back, wincing at how out-of-breath you sound. But then your head is falling back against the wall when his mouth moves to that spot on your jawline just below your ear. 

The whine that tears from your throat when he detaches himself from your neck is far too audible for your liking, and you shut your eyes on instinct out of embarrassment.

It takes you by surprise when you feel his finger nudging your chin up toward him again, and when you open your eyes he’s grinning so brightly at you that you’re suddenly forgetting how to breathe.

“You’re so cute,” he mutters, before diving back in to kiss you again. It almost sounds like affection, and that realization has everything suddenly feeling off-kilter. You had grounded yourself on the idea that this was something Min Ho would just forget by the time the sun rose, and having him potentially care about you has your entire world shifting drastically. 

You’ve never been touched, let alone kissed, like this - like you mean something. 

It has you on the verge of confessing it all. 

He pulls back once more, briefly, and your eyes trail down the curve of his neck as he swallows. It’s easy to see why so many people are in love with him - you’re already addicted to the feeling of him devouring every breath you exhale. His grip on your waist has fire sparking in the pit of your stomach and you’re so close to falling apart in his arms that even his delicate touch feels bruising. (Although you think that if you were to peel back the layers of your outfit, you’d find his name tattooed in deep reds and purples like the marks he’s left on you neck right above your heart, where your feelings have been beating out of your chest.)

“You taste like cherries,” he murmurs. 

A self-conscious smile spreads slowly across your face. “Blame your mocktails.”

Laughter spills from him. The sound has an inexplicable warmth trickling through your chest. “I’d like to thank the bartender, actually. I could kiss you until the sun rises.”

“Please do,” you respond simply, and you’re not even ashamed to say it because he’s leaning back in before you can finish saying it.

This time his ferocity catches you by surprise and he uses it to his advantage, licking into your mouth without any hesitation. It’s absolutely dizzying, the way he occupies your every sense and every thought. The only word you can remember is his name, and when you breathe it out you’re met with a low groan in response. 

And then there’s a cacophony of shouts in the distance - he tilts his head back with a frustrated huff. There’s a particularly loud yell, something about shutting the music off, and you and Min Ho immediately meet each other’s eyes with mirrored expressions of concern.

You swallow. “Is that… Professor Lee?”

Min Ho curses.

“It’s okay. You should go,” you rush to tell him, leaving an unspoken question in the air about what this whole situation means for the two of you. You’d ask it out loud but the words stick in your chest and refuse to come out, so you duck your head instead. You’re still trying to regain your bearings like you hadn’t just been kissed senseless.

He runs a hand through his hair, glancing between you and the sounds of the party agitatedly.  “Yeah. I-” he pauses. 

Fuck it.

You gently squeeze his arm. “Do you maybe wanna go out sometime?”

He doesn’t give you any time to second guess yourself because he starts smiling so widely you’re sure it must hurt. His gaze is unbearably soft, so soft that a chill ghosts down your back. The things you’d give to have him like this every day - like he’s in love with you too.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.”

He pulls you back into him one more time, lips lingering on yours until he’s stolen all the breath from your lungs.

And then he’s slipping back into the party, leaving you giddy and absolutely breathless once more.

[remotepixel]

Hi, how would yandere avengers react if their platonic teen obsession threatens to disclose their yandere tendencies or has actually done so to the media?

Hii, thank you for requesting!!

Tw: yandere themes + kidnapping mentions

-I’m assuming this is somewhat far into the obsession, enough where it’s obvious to you that something is very wrong, but not to the ‘they’ve gone completely off the rails and everyone can tell’ point.

-Getting the evidence would already be pretty hard. Sure, you have the obvious fact they’re always hanging around you, but, they’re superheroes, people are naturally going to support their side unless you have enough proof (or, sometimes, no matter what).

-Any clear red flag (e.g. trackers) would be specially manufactured by a world-renowned genius, so a casual police search likely wouldn’t find anything, and it’d be pretty nerve-wracking to try and record a conversation with a superspy.

-However, if you do collect enough, it still wouldn’t be easy to get rid of them.

-If you threaten them, the amount of guilt-tripping would be mental. Some of them are more self-aware than others, but all of them share the same sentiment that, at the end of the day, they’re (or, think they are) helping you. They know some of their behaviour crosses normal lines, but look how much your life has improved since they’ve been around, isn’t it a good thing someone cares about you?

-All of them would be hurt by your threat, and likely back off at least for a while if you strike some sort of deal (e.g. you leave me alone, I won’t tell). But they’ll be back, or still lurking around in parts of your life.

-I think members like Natasha and Bruce, who are more self-aware yet never speak out against the more delusional ones (since they’re still working together at the end of the day), would back off the most. They don’t want you hating them even more, and, currently, your relationship is on a thin line - it’s better to back off and subtly guide you back to them then force it.

-None of them fully take your threat seriously, even if it hurts their feelings. They know they have the upper hand here: government links, popularity, influence - you’re completely out of your depths even if you think, or act, otherwise.

-If you’re still very consistent on disclosing everything to the media despite their efforts to chill, you’re likely getting kidnapped. Drastic, obviously, but it’s the only way to guarantee you’re both in their grasp and others aren’t concerned.

-If you already disclosed it however, the methods you used to go through with it play a big role in the outcome.

-As I mentioned, there’s probably trackers in your phone, both for location and general monitoring, e.g. a keylogger. The second you post your blog, or send your email to the news, it’s getting deleted and completely wiped if possible. In this case, it’s probably going to follow the same route as before, but with extra emotional pain because you didn’t even “try talking” to them.

-If you focus more on meeting up with reporters in real-life, maybe getting them to collect their own evidence in the background, there’s a higher chance of success. However, that does require having insiders in a hopefully-popular newspaper company, something a teen probably wouldn’t have.

-Assuming the avengers haven’t noticed the news coming out about them, for at least enough time that citizens are able to read and share this, panic would ensue the second they realise.

-They would experience a range of emotions, most mentioned above but some would also hold a bit of rage (not necessarily at you, your actions more so). They have one, very obvious thing they need to do now though: address the ‘rumours’.

-Deleting the reports would raise more suspicions, and they can’t just admit everything the news is saying is technically true, so they decide to try and twist this into their favour. They’ll (mainly Tony as he’s probably dealt with this sort of thing before) make up some sort of story that puts you into the wrong - like you’re lying for attention or were trying to purposely ruin their reputation for petty revenge.

-If they’re feeling really nice they may try and chalk it up as a misunderstanding, but I think it depends who has a role in writing the response. For example, Steve would think it’s slightly too far, while Tony would just think of it as a necessary outcome - he also just doesn’t like listening to Steve’s advice so.

-You become a pretty big talk in the media, but, when people start believing the avenger’s side, it’s mostly snide comments or dragging your name through the mud. The avengers would probably feel bad for the amount of slander you’re getting, assuming they didn’t before, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they deleted a few, just plain evil comments. But you forced their hand, if you haven’t had ‘lied’ in the first place, this would have never happened.

-In a way, this may just bring you closer to them. With what feels like the whole world against you, the only people who really seem to care anymore are the avengers. They might even offer you a deal - you admit you were lying to the media, apologize, and they’ll publicly support you. Sure, it won’t get everyone off your back, and you’re be scared to even go outside in case reporters are there, but it means you have the most powerful team in your corner again, and isn’t that what you need?

[oh-no-its-bird]

"All you ever do is time and dimension travel, maybe get a new thing" shut the fuck up and take more unasked for dimension travel shenanigans

In the same vein as my fic idea where Obito gets kamui'd into a modern AU and kind of loses it over normal civilian guy Kakashi, please now take;

✨️ Into the (un)known and far beyond ✨️

Canon Tobirama gets zapped into a modern AU and runs face first into college student Izuna.

The catch is that the fic is told from Izuna's POV and modern AU Tobirama does exist and is like, around.

As you may assume, this causes complications!

(From here on out, Modern!Tobirama is going to be called Tobi and Canon!Tobirama is just Tobirama)

Izuna has had a hate crush on Tobi since they first met in freshman year, the feeling is not mutual Izuna barley exists on Tobi's radar and that fact infuriates him.

At first, hes convinced Tobirama is fucking with him, and Tobirama kind of assumes this might be a death bed hallucination. Something his brain came up with to keep him entertained in his final moments, yknow? But after a bit, he's quick on the uptake— tho Izuna is very not.

Izuna is CONVINCED he's being fucked with right now and does! Not! Appreciate it!

If nothing else the really stupid look Tobirama gets on his face every time he looks at Izuna is somewhat satisfying at least.

(Tobirama meanwhile has no fucking clue how to act here. He's aware he should probably like, leave, but some sense of morbid curiosity / duty keeps him oddly spellbound as Izuna bullies him into sleeping on the couch)

(Hes... not totally convinced that this isn't some sort of really weird hallucination)

Chunks of the fic are just Izuna shoving Tobirama into the nearest closet and leaning on it very (not) casually as people who know Tobi pass by. Including but not limited to Madara and Hashirama, who Tobirama refuses to be in the same room as for multiple reasons.

Also, himself!!

Izuna is going to his classes alternating between staring at Tobi like a man possessed and being so visibly out of it that he doesn't even look at Tobi even once. And Tobi is very much noticing (Maybe Izuna really was on his radar more than he thought he was)

Izuna stop acting like a freak challenge (impossible)

I think Hikaku gets to be the first one to realize there are two Tobirama's, both bc I love Hikaku, he's just smart like that, and he'd probably keep his mouth shut ab it.

He's enterung the room then very slowly backing out and closing the door and going, "when I open the door back up I don't want to see any doppelganger of men I know is in the room over." And when he opens it Izuna is physically cringing as he leans against the closet door in a very Not Suspicous Pose(tm)

Hikaku is so tired of this already. You know what? He doesn't want to know. Have fun Izuna, please don't call him when shit inevitably catches fire.

Tempted to say some sort of threat came with Tobirama when he entered the dimension, just for funzies. But also I dunno

I also kind of want to say that we get modern Tobiizu, and that the canon Tobirama is either not interested at all or lowkey hung up on Madara.

Tobirama is catching a glimpse of modern Madara, who's visibly so much happier, and kind of just shutting down.

He is going THROUGH it as Izuna stares at him in slow dawning horror. Tobirama is sitting on the couch, head in his hands as Izuna thwacks him with a rolled up magazine and yells "DO! NOT! LOOK! AT! MY BROTHER! LIKE THAT" between each thwack

(Tobirama can't decide if this is hell or not. Maybe it's some kind of divine punishment?? Doesnt have to be hell if its just his shit karma catching up to him)

Tobirama is both a lot sharper and a lot softer than Tobi. Obviously like, killing machine vs college student, the sharpness is self explanatory. But also he's now surrounded by dead faces and yeah, he's stressed as hell, but he's finally free from paperwork hell (unlike his counter part) and in a basically conflict free world from his point of view

Also I think he's just out of practice with dealing with Izuna, who meanwhile is wayyy too comfortable with taking every shot he can get at him. Tobirama will willingly go along with his bullshit and shenanigans both because he. Kind of doesn't know how to say no to him without feeling weirdly guilty about it. And also because this is an unfamiliar world and like, they're civillians!! Izuna is getting away with so much because Tobirama doesn't have a frame of reference to know if it's normal civilian behavior for this world.

Tobi meanwhile has been consistently dealing with Izuna's shit for years and can and will shut his ass down in a heartbeat. Izuna kind of hates him.

A funny bit could actually be where Tobirama talks pretty formally, vs everyone else bc modern. Tobirama is shooting off some under the table insult he'd use at a council meeting as Izuna grumbles "holy shit just call him a dumb bitch like a normal person"

Anyways yeah it'd mostly be silly fun times with sprinkles of angst on Tobirama's part. Maybe some more dramatics if a threat did come through with Tobirama but nothing serious

[ninainthetardis]

⚠️⚠️⚠️ HoFaS spoilers ⚠️⚠️⚠️

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Be warned, this is going to be a rant.

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Ok, the HoFaS crossover was supposed to be exciting, but it ended up being another trigger topic for me thanks to the obnoxious N.esta stans who never hold her accountable for her wrong choices and always pick on the characters who stand up to her/call her out on her crap.

The thing is, I didn't even dislike her in this crossover, but I swear the moment her stans open their mouth, I go straight back to hating her. I don't even know how it is possible to be so clouded that they can't see/recognise when she's wrong or the hurt she causes/her actions may cause to other people. How they can always defend her without considering any other perspective/logic and proceed with the slander of any character that does not share her ideas or approve of her actions. Or how they demand respect for her trauma while ignoring/invalidating the one she inflicted to others.

The point in this case is: giving Bryce the mask WAS a dumb, rushed, risky choice. Stop ranting and insulting Rhys for his reaction, he was bloody RIGHT (also, Azriel was on that line too, why isn't he an asshole too?). I thought that immediately, even before reading the bonus chapter. You're even bashing Cassian for not defending her, as if she wasn't gambling with everyone's life because she somewhat liked Bryce and understood her desperate situation. Which could be admirable if it wasn't a lot hypocritical of her, considering that she barely moved a finger to help win their war against Hybern. And about that: isn't it time to wake up? It was Elain to end the King, N/esta just cut his head off once the hard part was done. And on top of that, both her and Cassian would be as good as dead without Elain's intervention. But why am I even bothering to talk about this...

And by the way, to those hating on Cassian, now here's a flash news: you do not have to defend your partner if you think they are wrong. It doesn't mean you don't love them, acting like the significat other is always right is not how support looks like. And N.esta can clearly speak for herself, maybe even too much, and with too much entitlement. You don't want to respond of your actions to Feyre and Rhys? Well, fucking leave the Night Court already! They're its rulers!!!

And Bryce's mom was the other one being totally out of line and acting entitled tbh and quite rude. I mean, you are in another world, in which your daughter made mess after mess, with people you need something from whether you like it or not, people you don't know and you talk that way? Not every bloody Fae is the Autumn King or the Avallen King! Someone really has to tell her AND Bryce, given that she passed that bias toward the entirety of the species to her. Generalisation is always wrong. And also, you know, it's a matter of good manners, and that issue was really none of her goddamn business. She could've spoken on N/esta's behalf using different tones, and it would have been a lot different.

Now, let's get back at the mask thing.

Honestly, I get that I was supposed to root for Bryce in this one, but she made it quite difficult for me when all she did in Prythian was putting that world in a danger she was very aware of. Like freeing an Asteri on Prythian soil, as if Vesperus would ever tell Bryce how to kill her own species. I get she was desperate, but it was just dumb and egoistic of her to do that, to risk to bring the same evil that plagues her world into another one, especially when there was no guarantee (quite the opposite actually) that by doing that she'd get the answers she was looking for.

Bryce had no reason to trust them, and they had no reason to trust her as well. Had Bryce failed, the consequences of giving her the mask would have been catastrophic. And I am not even going to mention Nyx's safety as a reason for Rhys to be pissed at N/esta. Rhysand and Feyre are responsible for the whole Night Court. And in this case, the whole of Prythian, AGAIN. There is a reason if they're the ones in charge, position that actually includes putting your people first and being able to make hard choices, even if they are morally grey choices, to protect their people. N.esta doesn't have such responsibility, and thankfully so because she would be terrible in that position. Moreover, they've just come out of a war, for Rhysand it was the second war he fought and after 50 years of UTM... but of course, why would N.esta care? She was somewhere safe almost the entirety of the time while Feyre - who died to save the very same world N.esta was endangering with her choice - was out fighting for everyone's safety. I am honestly shocked by how people refuse to even consider Rhysand's perspective, at least on this one. As if he knew Bryce and what she was capable of (and as if the whole resolution in CC wasn't due to pure luck, anyway) and have the slightest idea she might succeed. Also, Bryce had 10 other ways to manage the whole situation differently. Had she cooperated a little instead of proving to be a loose cannon, she might have had the chance to actually GET their help without having to take it by stealing and endangering Prythian. Trust goes both ways. They could have found a common ground or made a deal that ensured Prythian's safety and at the same time help Lunathion. Rhys and Feyre are sensitive to people who are suffering and would do something about it. There was no need to endanger Prythian in the process. But 1. They would've stolen the show and 2. Bryce's the one who left Baxian and Fury in Avallen or didn't think of calling Jesiba during the final battle against the Asteri, why would she think that someone as powerful as Rhysand and as knowning as Amren could be helpful anyway 🙄 her "Aelin wanna be" era failed miserably because she actually didn't have the skills, the drive, the strategic thinking and the experience to be like her, despite the efforts. But Bryce is a topic for another day.

This is my tea for today. It's been a year I'm part of this fandom and I've tried so hard not to rant/write about acotar just to avoid the toxic part of this fandom, but hey, patience has its limits, this is still my space and seeing all that "everyone" slander from the pro N.esta for no logical reason really got on my last nerve at this point.

[yanderes-galore]

Can you do a gender-neutral yandere ram with human darling? i really really liked the omnic one!!!!

Sure! He certainly has a different tone in this one so I'll write it!

Yandere! Ramattra with Human! Darling

Pairing: "Romantic"

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Degrading behavior, Human pet, Manipulation, Prejudice against humans, Kidnapping, Dark themes, Forced "relationship".

Ramattra doesn't typically get along with humans.

The reason he put together Null Sector was because he wanted to wage war against humans for how they treated Omnics.

He doesn't believe humans could live peacefully with Omnics based on what he's seen.

All humans may not be at fault... but he tries not to think of it.

After all, humans have hurt innocent Omnics, haven't they?

If Ramattra began to "have feelings" for a human he'd be in denial.

He feels as though he's betraying his own people when he thinks of you on such a way.

You're no doubt one of those mentioned "innocent" humans that caught his eye.

You live in a heavily Omnic populated town and try to help out.

When he speaks to other Omnics they mention you are a huge help.

Ramattra finds this baffling, these must be lies!

They aren't lies... he finds this out when he sees you try to play hero and hide Omnics away from Null Sector drones.

Why do you act like he's the villain?

Why do you insist on acting like you're helping?

Ramattra, due to his denial, probably tries to excuse his feelings.

He is aware of Zenyatta's human pet Genji (In his eyes that is what their teacher/student relationship is).

Perhaps as a result he begins to see you in such a way.

He will admit you appear to be good natured, you may even prove useful, so he'll take you in.

You have no idea what you're getting into when Ramattra calls for your capture.

Ramattra doesn't hate all life, he simply hates humans for what some of them have done to his people.

While he resents his own feelings towards you and depicts them as simply wanting you as a pet... soon he'll have to accept how he feels.

Your "relationship" with Ramattra starts rather degrading.

Null Sector has a deal with Talon to obtain supplies.

As a result Ramattra meets with Doomfist to obtain supplies for you, his human pet.

Ramattra seems like he'd degrade you at first in an attempt to vent his frustration.

He sees you as a fragile pet despite the fact you're human and tries not to harm you physically.

But he can get rough at times.

He often taunts you about your organic weaknesses, he makes you feel like you need him as he gives you items to survive.

He feels having a human pet is a message for his cause.

He wants humans to think they're below him.

Over time though there's a chance Ramattra will think of you in a different light.

He realizes you've done nothing wrong like the Omnics he is trying to save.

He's a monster, yet he already knows this.

As a result he may try to soften his behavior.

He understands somewhat... now you've suffered almost as much as him and his people.

In an attempt to apologize he tries to pamper you more.

Any bruises due to his rough and metallic grip are soothed with medicine and you're left to rest.

He realizes you don't deserve his ire.

It's at this point he begins to accept his emotions towards you.

You aren't bad like the rest.

No... now you're similar to him, he's made you this way.

Maybe he really does care.

You're still kept in captivity, although Ramattra tries to be better.

Other humans are still meant with his rage, but not you.

You're only met with softer affections and praises.

It's like other humans are wild animals while you've been domesticated by Ramattra.

At some point you could feel two different ways towards your captor.

You may begin to fester rage within you, similar to Ramattra did.

Then there's the other extreme, you fall into acceptance.

You can no longer be with other humans now.

You only know Ramattra now.

Plus... why would you want to be involved in a war, anyways?

Instead... you can prove useful to Ramattra and Null Sector.

Just as a pet should.

[starlightmaker17]

Stolitz time:

RATING: 6/10

So, yikes... It's clear both are wrong in many aspects. Let's start with Stolas.

While it is shown by us viewers he wants a romantic relationship with Blitz, frankly he is not very good at demonstrating it. Taking considetation he did not have a very good role model in Paimon (other than showing love by flaunting luxury and ignoring his sons distress), and from his arranged marriage, he has little to no good understanding on romance almost as much as Blitz does. He was so relieved to have his ffirst friend back into his life that he was willing to do anything to keep him, including assuming that means sex. By that point they had agreement to use Grimoire as a justification for him to see Blitz. But soon he realized in time it wasn't right, but only because he felt guilty that was only reason they stayed together. He didn't take consideration of Blitz feelings at all-hence, why he was so horrified and heartbroken at realizing Blitz thought so little of him. So he puts distance between them because of this knowledge they have no further obligation to each other. BUT, he is a hypocrite in not understanding the mindset of the imp hierarchy, or even listen some of Blitz points? He was really upset over Blitz knowing someone tried to kill him, WHEN THE ENTIRE POINT OF EPISODE 2 OF HIM HIRING IMP WAS FOR PROTECTION AGAINST ANY ASSASSIN? And Stolas did have powers to typically protect himself. But yes, Blitz still should have told him, because of the possibility of Octavia also in danger being on the table. Its almost like he won't hear of Blitz feelings on the matter, or even try to understand, which is crucial to solid relationships.

Next, is Blitz. He's so full of self hatred that even Verosika knew he belonged into the hate Blitzo party. He lost lots of relationships because of his incapability to see his own worth, and how that ultimately makes him hate being vulnerable and severing ties once they get too close. He's very aware of his actions but doesn't want accountability because he has enough hatred for himself that t was easier to handle than everyone else's feelings about him. He already feels guilt about losing his family and Fizz, and why he was so relieved having at least one back in his life. He also believes that the hierarchy is unjust to imps and has seen Stolas emphasize it during their Full Moon meetings, so it is somewhat plausible why he thinks Stolas is entitled and pompous. He let his feelings get best of him during their fight and the fear of losing a ground with Stolas made him slip up. He really thinks he's all big d**k energy when in actuality he's just being a d**k in many cases. Maybe he was a different lover to Stolas than everyone else, and maybe Stolas was desperate to just have him back in his life, but Blitzo acting like he's the bad guy for being classist is rich considering he's all talk and not a generous lover and always assumes everyone is same based on categories. He's equally as classist as Stolas- he's just more verbal about it.

So yeah, it looks like they're back to square 1, or even -10. It seems like Blitzo has more growth to do and Stolas some more boyfriends to experience. I heard Vassago is a very real candidate to filling that role. I do wonder if Blitz will date anyone else in mean time- we'll just have to see what happens.

Also- slurs has become my new favorite quote for this show!!!

[shreddeddescent]

i think the the untrained eye the way ive presented my leo and raph might make it seem like their characterization has been reversed (someone might be like aha rise fan ass) but like i think the way i see them is like. okay. raph is the oldest brother and they all know that, but he gets to a point where he just cant be the one in charge. and despite leo's immaturity at a younger age, he really comes into his own when he's you know.....not being abused by an evil fucking father. shredder's conditioning never worked on leo cuz it all went into raph first, and then raph broke apart when he hit puberty cuz alllllll that specific conditioning went out the fucking window.

so trying to make leo get his brothers in line never worked. and he actively fought. and he was actively punished for lashing out about it. that sounds like a classic raph thing you know, being angry and acting out. but we're talking about a kid whos 12 and never had to do that being hit with responsibility. very much like ahaha NO? ends up punished. ends up getting raph punished. shredder thinks its cuz raph coddled him. he thinks tang shen coddled his kids when she was around, now he needs a new woman to blame. so if leo fucks up, raph gets punished too.

raph seemed more put together younger cuz he was barely letting himself be aware of how bad the situation was. he picked up the pieces of his brothers and never worried about himself.

being in a safe environment let leo turn into the mature one who was able to handle being a normal teenager without fear, and it turned raph into a fucking maniac who didnt understand that no one was about to hurt him again. he cant handle it, he gets way too close to his mom about how fucked up his dad is and he resents his brothers for not seeing her the same way he does.

i should also say it seems like ive been neglecting the donnie and mikey part. what i think is interesting about their perspectives is that they don't exactly feel caught in the middle of it, but they're both aware their father didnt care about them as much as leo and raph.

mikey was told he was coddled, he ended up malnourished in a way that stunted his growth and it makes raph specifically see him as way younger than he is and he parentifies himself to mikey, which he accepts cuz like. that is the closest thing to a parent mikey has. they have a weird relationship, mikey genuinely sees raph as mom sometimes, definitely more than he'd ever see splinter as one. she tries, but its very much like 'you just showed up when i was 9 i dont know you but thanks for caring'. he's the same age as donnie but has somewhat age regressed in the sense of like "oh, people need someone to be happy! and be funny! i can keep this together cuz im okay! people need a baby brother thats me! im fine!" but hes not.

donnie was very much aware shredder saw him as spare parts because he was born broken to his father. chronic pain, he's weak. he didnt fight as good. he was told he just wasnt trying hard enough, that shit was all in his head. while he knew that wasnt true he didn't fight anything, he behaved. he thought he'd be killed over anything, so he moreso observed the situation, recognizing the patterns of abuse and processing it a little faster. he was ignored for the most part, used as the bargaining chip for his brothers. 'i could simply give him to stockman to make use of his DNA'. empty threat, he's only got four turtles. waste of money to get rid of him. he knew that, maybe his brothers didnt. he and raph kinda bond over being broken from birth in a way. even though donnie is the fastest one to point out no raph, youre a boy, stop talking about yourself like your body is broken and wrong. he kind of oversteps but only because he hates the idea that raph thinks he's just as broken as him for something so fucking common.

leo's a good big brother to mikey and donnie, he doesnt treat them like they're babies as much as raph does, hes aware of their capabilities more. aware of their mental states more. post escape, raph bonds with splinter too much, leo bonds with them. they might sneak out sometimes and pretend they're cosplayers out in the street. he lets them go have fun like normal kids. hes a good brother, he's determined to let them be kids when he didnt get to be one.

raph would fucking lose it if he knew leo let them do that. but he sleeps all fucking day and has no idea. he's way too in his own head now cuz he's got time to fucking think for once. and he doesnt want to.

[ghostatas]

I want to pick your brain about your thoughts on the whole mike now hating fit situation. Like what do you think mike is thinking? What do you think pac is thinking? What do you think fit is thinking?

YES YES AND YES

This stream was something, to say the least, so let's start....

Pac is confused and definitely very conflicted. On the one hand, there's Fit, who is also 1. very confused, 2. Also being constantly threatened by Mike 3. Been by his side for basically the entire time Mike was gone! Because Mike's been kidnapped for so long and probably tortured and is definitely acting very weird! Even without the Fit stuff and the hypothermia, he's hugging cucurucho and just not acting himself (he did the fucking FLOSS obvy hes not acting like himself). It's very obvious he doesn't like Fit, and if this was before they spent more time together, Pac would trust Mike's judgement and avoid Fit. He can't do that now though, can he?

Fit is the reason Pac is still somewhat sane and not just fully depressed rn. Fit checked in on him everyday, spent time with him, reassured him about the eggs and Mike- most of the islanders didn't even realise Mike was gone, let alone think to help look for him. That point in particular is why Pac cares for Fit so much- he's only one to remember Mike, his soul mate, his other half. Fit (and tubbo ig) is the reason he was able to make an antidote for the happy pills- them visiting cleared his head enough to leave instructions for cellbit to find!! Do you know how much damage would have occurred if a cure was never found? So yeah, Fit is trustworthy, even if he is keeping *some* secrets (I mean, who isn't?). He is aware that maybe something deeper is going on, but he knows and *trusts* (and lov-COUGH) Fit so he's not too worried about it. (This will make great angst I fear later when Fit's mission is inevitably revealed to the islanders but story for another time)

Fit is angry. Fit "i am trying so hard not to kill this motherfucker rn" MC is ANGRY. He spent all this time worrying about his friend, but all of a sudden he's threatening his son???? Then acting all innocent??? Like framing him is one thing (and does he really know his secret?? Like truly??) but threatening his SON is another level of fucked up and Fit won't stand for it, no matter who it is. But under that he's concerned. One because he doesn't know if Mike knows the true reason he's on the island, and if so how he knows. Two because he doesn't know what to do!! Like when Pac came back from being kidnapped, he was also fucked up but not THIS kind of fucked up. With Pac, they could hang out and reassure him gently and bring some normalcy back to his life to help him recover. With Mike, he can't do shit because he's not wanted anywhere near them. He doesn't know what the feds did to Mike or what the problem is so he can't fix anything. It hurts, that all of a sudden one of his closest friends has turned against him.

I think Mike is doing what he thinks is best. For him and for pac. He's confused because he doesn't know what happened on the island whilst he was gone (or what happened to himself, let's be real) but I think he full heartedly believes he is doing the right thing. Mike also doesn't know how fucked up he got, that he got fucked up at all and how his brain in basically a mess rn. So yeah, he's got good intentions, just not for Fit. I really wanna know what happened to him and what led him to believe Fit's such a bad guy tho. Before his kidnapping, Mike said he hated fed workers, but specifically not Fit, and that he could trust him. For him to do a full 180... its interesting.

[butterflydm]

wot reread: towers of midnight (chap 50-end)

spoilers for towers of midnight (suicide cw; body horror cw)

Oh, this Elayne PoV opens with an interesting echo of a Rand scene. Here, Elayne strips lands and titles from her former rivals to the throne, knowing that the shame of it would likely lead them to commit suicide rather than live as commoners. Back in ACoS, Rand stripped the lands and title from Colaveare in an attempt to NOT kill her, because he was unaware that her own pride almost certainly lead to her killing herself rather than living with being a commoner. It illustrates some key similarities between Rand and Elayne but also a key difference, in that Elayne is aware of the consequences of her political choices in a way that Rand was not always aware. And she's doing so knowing that one of the people most affected by Colaveare's loss of power (a Cairhienin noble named Bertome) would arrive just in time to witness this.

2. She is using all this as a political lead-in to making her claim to the Sun Throne by giving Cairhienin nobles some power in Caemlyn, by offering the estates that she just stripped from her previous rivals. And... she then offers mercy to the nobles that she just stripped of lands here in Caemlyn, by mentioning that new lands and titles can be found for them in Cairhien. Basically binding the two nations closer together even before she officially takes the Sun Throne.

idk how much we needed the scene afterwards explaining Elayne's brilliance to the reader (but maybe it was helpful to the readers who were inclined to dislike Elayne?). Birgitte does still feel somewhat 'off' here from the character that she used to be.

3. It remains so baffling to me that Min is the central 'researcher' into all things Callandor. Makes no sense. But Elayne and Aviendha (both more logical choices) are off actually having their own independent storylines that aren't related to Rand so... Min it is, I guess.

Min warns him that the sword is more dangerous than they'd believed before and he's basically like, "nah, I know, it's chill." lol, despite the book's efforts to convince me that Min's role here is super-vital, it just... really is not.

4. Instead of going himself, Rand sends an Asha'man off to infiltrate and investigate the Black Tower. I really hate that such an important plotline got relegated to tertiary characters!

5. lol, I do like the scene here with Rand and Cadsuane; now that she's too baffled by him to keep bullying him, their interactions are kinda funny most of the time. He also, relatively casually, reveals here how far back his own memories go. Once again though... I really wish this were in Rand's PoV and not Min's.

Because here, Min is 'troubled' by Rand casually sharing his memories from four hundred years ago and Rand is like, "pat pat, calm down, silly mortal girlfriend, I am not a scary monster anymore, I promise" but like... what is going on in his brain? One of the main reasons that Rand's descent into madness worked so well for the reader is because we got to see it internally, and it feels like we're being cheated when we don't get to see how he deals with realizing that LTT's memories were not all due to madness, and this is part of him and he needs to process it. Getting it all second-hand through Min is just... not enough.

I am glad that Rand doesn't give all the credit of making it through to this point to Min (like so much of the fandom likes to do) but credits many of the people who have cared for him: his father, Mat, Perrin, Elayne, Aviendha, Nynaeve, Moiraine (He doesn't mention Egwene here, though, and he should). It is really frustrating how parts of fandom like to act as if Min is the only person who cares about Rand. Circumstances have pulled away most of the people he cares about and who care about him, but that doesn't make the affection disappear and it doesn't make the help they've given him meaningless.

6. Thousands of Borderlander soldiers down here, even as the Blightborder collapses and their people are overrun in the north. Such a frustrating plotline! Anyway, they slap Rand and ask him a question about a death during the Age of Legends and now things are good and they'll actually fight in the Last Battle.

lol, Min's viewings that she has here are so useless to Rand -- 'they'll probably be in a fight soon but whether that means the Last Battle or fighting against you right now, idk'. Thanks for that complete lack of information, Min.

I feel like this entire thing could have easily been used to show the folly of trusting prophecy over your own good sense? The Borderlanders acted as they did because they believed "better a dead Dragon than a Dragon who will destroy the world" but... they didn't really have any way to fix that problem anyway, lol, so their secret prophecy was just as useless as most of Min's viewings are and the only thing it accomplished was leaving their borders less guarded than they should be. Rand points out to them that, while he may have given them his original ultimatum in an asshole way, it remains the truth -- given how far they are from their own lands, he is the only path remaining to them if they want to fight in the Last Battle.

But, yeah, this is just a subplot that felt like it went on way too long and then died with a whimper and not a bang.

7. Hmm, Elayne points out that Birgitte has been getting more and more irritable, which implies that her change in characterization was deliberate (meant to illustrate how her emotional stability is slipping alongside her memory loss maybe?). Elayne basically calls Birgitte the Fun Police here, saying, "You don't like anything, lately." Anyway, Elayne is making her move for Cairhien here. I would have much rather spent this book on Elayne Secures Cairhien than Perrin's Whitecloak Trial. Instead, we mostly just skim over it, and Cairhien accepts Elayne fairly quickly. After she's claimed Cairhien, she sets in motion: a. sending the current army to Merrilor to meet Rand; b. mobilizing any additional men and women who want to fight in the Last Battle and training them; and c. getting all the city's bellfounders to start working on more dragons.

8. The first paragraph of being back in Mat's PoV and he is wistfully thinking of serving girls sitting on his knee. Strike twelve-point-three.

We also, here, have Mat choosing a red scarf to ~dedicate~ to the memory of Tylin and the others who died to the gholam, briefly considering making it pink (he does emphasis that he considered this very briefly). Ew, gross.

I was just talking in my last post, during the Aviendha's vision section, about how easy it is to make saints of the dead. It really feels like this is a perfect illustration of this: Tylin is dead and can't physically hurt Mat anymore, so it's 'safe' to consider honoring her, in a way that it wouldn't be if she were still alive. Dead sainted Tylin happening so soon after dead sainted Tuon in Aviendha's Rhuidean vision definitely makes me go ~hmm.

9. Mat thinks here that he believes that ~the new empress~ is going to surprise the Seanchan. Not sure what he's basing that belief on, lol. But, just like Fortuona was Making Lies Up In Her Head to justify her decisions, so is Mat, I guess. He wants to believe that Tuon is Different From The Other Seanchan, so he's convinced himself that she is, despite having literally zero favorable evidence (and the reader was just recently in her head, so we know for a fact that Mat is absolutely incorrect that Tuon has surprised the Seanchan in any way -- she has done exactly as expected of her, because she's just a bog-standard High Blood Seanchan)

(side note: I actually do not have any objection to Tuon just being another Seanchan, in terms of her moral code. The weird part about the way it is written in the books is the way that some Westlands characters behave as if she's better in some way, when we've never seen her do anything exceptional, in terms of ethics or morality. I get that the Seanchan are brainwashed to think the Imperial family & the Empress are special, but when Westlands characters act that way, it makes me raise my eyebrows. I talked about this back in CoT & KoD too -- how sometimes Mat behaved as if Tuon had undergone an entire character arc despite that... you know, not happening and her being just as awful (in terms of ethics) at the end of KoD as she was in her intro in WH. It's not Tuon being awful that I object to -- it makes sense that she's awful, given what we know of her culture and that she's the top dog in that culture -- it's Westlands characters inexplicably behaving as if she's A Special One Who Isn't Like Other Nobles that triggers my bullshit meter, like Mat thinking in KoD that's it's ~right and good~ for Olver to bow to her and make much of her despite that going completely against the way Mat normally approaches nobility; hits my bs meter hard).

The reports on the Seanchan that he's reading come from Elayne, btw. Also, he HAS officially signed the Band over to Elayne's employment. So, again, we have this tension where Mat has been set up as the tug o'war rope between ~Fortuona~ and Elayne. Or, more accurately, Mat is setting himself up as the rope. And setting himself up to eventually have his nose rubbed into the crimes of the Seanchan (including Tuon) in a way that he won't be able to deny (post-canon, I assume). Elayne did not give him any reports on the Seanchan attacking the White Tower, it sounds like, which makes sense -- the official White Tower position on weakness is: we don't have any. He notes that there are rumors of the Sea Folk allied with the Seanchan and dismisses THOSE as nonsense started by the Seanchan capturing Sea Folk vessels. Hey. Hey, Mat. What do they do to the people on the vessels? I know that you know the answer.

10. One of the spy reports makes him think of Rand, and we are reminded that Mat has to banish those colors "over and over". Funny how Perrin doesn't have that problem. Perrin finds dismissing the colors super easy. Mat also thinks about how "at least Rand was wearing clothes this time", which is a reminder of how frequently Mat apparently thinks about Rand around bedtime. Again, not a problem that Perrin has ever had.

11. Hmm, a conversation between the two people who seemed to most desperately want to believe that Tuon can learn to be a better person, and the two people who had the biggest changes in characterization between Winter's Heart and Crossroads of Twilight: Setalle Anan has come over to talk to Mat.

Strike twelve-point-four, as Mat tries to pretend he isn't thinking about Setalle Anan's 'ample bosom' (it's the second time he's had thoughts of attraction towards her since his marriage, so I'm not double-counting her as a full point, just like I'm not double-counting Elayne).

When Setalle Anan wonders if he truly knows the Andoran queen, Mat says that she's a "nice enough girl", because (at least in this part of the storyline) Mat has grown enough to see that his original assumptions about Elayne were incorrect.

12. Setalle Anan says that she's trying to work out the puzzle of Mat, and Mat being so close to the queen (who is Aes Sedai) is another piece of the puzzle. She mentions getting a letter from Joline, who has arrived safely at the White Tower and who has asked after Mat, to check in that he's okay, which completely baffled Mat. I wonder if Joline and Teslyn have had some long conversations off-screen about Mat, because Mat has been such an asshole to Joline on-screen that her respecting him so much really is somewhat baffling. But, yeah, the whole "friendly with some Aes Sedai but married to a slaver who wanted to enslave all Aes Sedai" is definitely... well, 'puzzle' is a kind way of wording what Mat currently is (especially to anyone who doesn't know about the prophecy... which is everyone).

Mat asks Setalle Anan what it was like to lose the One Power and no longer be Aes Sedai. She explains that she's happy for those who can still channel but is envious and misses it. The way she talks about it really reminds me of the way how Mat seems to feel his marriage has locked him away from acting on his attraction to other women and it's an interesting comparison to think about, now that it comes to mind. She burnt herself out, she wasn't stilled, so she accidentally did this to herself (just like Mat accidentally married Tuon). She is envious of those who can still channel but happy for them that they have the ability (and Mat keeps checking out women 'for' other men around him... though he never actually tells those other men about the women). She also kept herself in contact with the Kin all those years, essentially punishing herself by reminding herself over and over what she no longer had. Hmm.

Then she asks Mat why he hates Aes Sedai. And Mat essentially... completely sidesteps the question, though he does say that he doesn't hate Aes Sedai. But he immediately changes the question to "what bothers me about WOMEN" and away from "what bothers me about Aes Sedai" and then almost as swiftly, the conversation turns to "what bothers me about NOBLES". I wonder if his mental conflation of Aes Sedai=all women=all nobles is part of what causes some of his odd thinking.

13. This is where we get his ~boots~ argument against nobility, which comes across to me like he's saying that, nobles have so much excess that it makes him uncomfortable, though Setalle Anan believed that he's talking about the complexity of leadership. Mat denies that the conversation is a metaphor in any possible way, which is very Mat of him. I will note that he says that your 'best' pair of shoes should be your walking/working shoes, which are your most important pair.

If you were wondering: no, Setalle Anan doesn't tell him that she betrayed him and told Tuon about his protective medallion. Tuon actually doesn't openly come up a single time in the conversation, which is somewhat interesting, considering how much of the discussion feels like it's half a step away from Tuon.

After Anan leaves, Mat tosses aside Verin's letter, deciding that he will never know what's in it.

14. I genuinely like Pevara but... yeah, sucks that Nynaeve isn't the one headlining the Black Tower story arc. Apparently the White Tower 'embassy' to the Black Tower has just been chilling inside for... weeks? And now they are trapped inside, and gateways don't work. (another dreamspike? I do not recall)

15. Perrin gets to say a special goodbye to Mat. The buffing up of the Mat-Perrin friendship definitely feels like the biggest marker so far of Check Out Sanderson's Bestest Favorite Boy, yeah, lol. Thom twits Mat about his marriage by poking at the sore spot of how it makes Mat a noble now. Grady opens a Gateway to send them to the Tower of Ghenjei, and will open a return Gateway every day at the same time. They leave from Perrin's camp, which is just outside Whitebridge. Then Perrin & co all head to Merrilor.

16. Noal has managed to acquire a fancy outfit and a fancy new walking staff. ...? I hope again that plot device Noal gets replaced by someone more interesting in the show version (if they should get this far). My dream team is, of course, Mat with Siuan (as Moiraine's love interest) and Birgitte (for historical knowledge and to fill Noal's, ah, other role and, much like Noal wants to redeem himself for his failures, Birgitte may want to succeed at saving someone from the Tower where she has failed before).

17. They are able to open a doorway into the Tower by etching the opening symbol for the game of snakes & foxes into the Tower with a bronze knife. The inside of the Tower itself doesn't look like either the Aelfinn or the Eelfinn's bargaining places, Mat notes in dismay. Whatever script is used on the walls here, it isn't the Old Tongue, because Mat doesn't recognize it. Mat realizes this time, as he didn't fully realize before, that the world of the 'finn is a completely different world to their own. Interesting that even now, after Mat has ~gotten hitched~ to his prophecy girl, he still feels like the snakes gave him "no useful answers".

18. One of the Eelfinn appears, to try to tempt them into leaving their tools of protection behind and when Mat realizes that he's feeling swayed by the argument, he asks Thom to play music to break the spell. And the music puts the Eelfinn to sleep. Mat realizes that trying to make a map of the place is useless -- they need to rely on his luck. So he starts rolling dice to decide which direction to go. After another confrontation with multiple Eelfinn where he loses his dice, he begins spinning around to dizzy himself and then picking a direction at random. He then follows that direction no matter how many side corridors appear to tempt them, and he leads them to the room where Moiraine is waiting.

19. Seeing Moiraine again brings up a lot of complicated emotions in Mat: frustration and anger, but also gratitude and awe. He feels like he understands her motivations for her choices now, but still dislikes some of the actions that she took. Thom yanks her out of her prison, even after they find that whatever she's being held in is hot to the touch, and Mat marvels over how tiny she is, compared to his larger-than-life memory of her.

20. After Moiraine is pulled from her prison, eight of the Eelfinn are in the room, on the tall pedestals, dressed in white. Mat warns everyone against saying anything that sounds like a bargain. So Mat is the one to make the bargain, with the terms that the Aelfinn had already given him -- his price would be "half the light of the world" (aka his eye). Mat wonders if being willing to pay this price to save the world makes him "a hero, after all". One of the Eelfinn rips Mat's eye out of his socket with his bare hand.

21. Mat thinks here that he had assumed that Thom was here for the same reason as Mat -- because it was something that needed to be done (aka it was the right thing to do) -- but the way that Thom is clutching onto Moiraine's unconscious body is making him wonder. Noal realizes a hole in the bargain that Mat had made -- he'd said that the foxes weren't allowed to attack them, but had said nothing about the snakes. And so now the chase is on.

22. After a tense chase, where Mat is throwing around fireworks to keep the Aelfinn at bay, and they've long since strayed from the direct path that would lead to their exit, Noal sacrifices himself so that the others can continue escaping, serving his plot device duty and 'dying clean' (does Mat ever actually tell any of the Malkieri about this? I will try to remember to keep a watch out in AMoL). Mat thinks that once he would have thought dying with honor was pointless, but honor has mattered to too many of the memories in his head for him to dismiss it.

23. Hmm, when Thom mentions the idea of maybe getting some Aelfinn answers for himself, Mat tells him that he doesn't want them. "They aren't answers. They're threats. Promises." Talking about what just happened with his eye, or talking about Tuon? (I mean, likely both. It's definitely been something that I've noticed that Mat does not at all seem happy or grateful to the Aelfinn for shackling him to Fortuona, despite how he keeps desperately trying to convince himself that he trusts her and that he finds her super-attractive)

24. Mat thinks back to his time with the Eelfinn, his exact words, and realizes that he asked for a way back and that his ashandarei is the one thing he has that is not explained by them answering his other boons. That it's his key to leaving. He didn't ask them for a weapon, he asked them for a way out. And he is able to cut it to cut their way out of the Tower and back into their own world.

25. My narration here doesn't really cover how much I enjoyed this sequence but it was a lot of fun! I do think that this moment, like some others, would probably feel more impactful if it happened before Rand had his epiphany. Rand having his big moment at the end of TGS kinda... trivializes almost everything in ToM, honestly. Because... well, we already know that Rand has decided not to destroy time and the universe. So, if I had been structuring the last three books, I would have placed Rand's epiphany right here, after Mat & co. make their successful escape from the Tower of Ghenjei (and after Perrin and Egwene have helped each other in TAR). That way, even before they all go to Merrilor, it feels like Moiraine's return is symbolic of Rand's turning point, if they're paired in the narrative like that.

26. We get the counterpart of Gawyn's relief at having Egwene's emotions in his head by learning here that Egwene also finds it a comfort to have his emotions in her head and feel his devotion first-hard in a way that makes her unable to doubt it. So, yeah, Egwene and Gawyn are really on the same page in a way that the majority of romantic relationships in the series never manage. They want the same things out of life and neither of them is forcing themselves to live a life that makes them unhappy for the sake of catering to the other person (examples of this kind of relationship: Rand & Min, where Min forces herself into a poly relationship that makes her feel possessive and jealous all the time; Perrin & Faile, where they both have vastly different ideas about their 'ideal life' and the solution was for Perrin to give up his own ideas and pick Faile's; Mat and Fortuona, who both want to fundamentally change their partner into someone unrecognizable from who they currently are)

27. Mat is thrilled that he managed to survive the Tower of Ghenjei, now that they are safely out (and Moiraine is slowly regaining consciousness). Mat also realizes here that Thom knew all along (or at least for a while) that Noal was Jain Farstrider but never told Mat. It's in a semi-joking way that he wonders what kind of friend Thom is, but, yeah, I've been wondering about Mat and Thom's 'friendship' for a bit now, and this is another interesting piece of evidence about how Thom is not particularly open with Mat.

28. Um, strike thirteen-point-four as Mat thinks about how fetching Moiraine looks, with her flushed cheeks and her hair tumbling about her face. haha, he does feel kinda awkward about finding her attractive, much as Rand felt awkward about finding Caraline Damodred attractive even realizing how much she looked like Moiraine.

29. Mat refusing to let Moiraine heal his eye (not even just to take the pain away, which is all she believes she can manage now) does feel weirdly symbolic of his self-destructive behavior as of late -- he risks his life to save Moiraine, gives up his eye to save her, and then shies away at the idea of her healing him. Much as I once wondered if the Aelfinn devised Tuon as a punishment for Mat, I now have to wonder... is Mat punishing himself? Because that is wildly self-destructive. He could get an infection in his FACE. I'm sure he has countless memories of battle wounds going bad and killing soldiers post-battle. Passing up being healed just seems like he's actively self-harming here.

(I guess the question I'm asking is: how much does Mat subconsciously hate himself right now, that he would do this to himself? Again, we have the contrast in this same book of Galad realizing how nonsensical it is to have Aes Sedai as your allies and then refuse to allow them to heal you, which feels like a direct and deliberate reference point to show us that Mat is not acting rationally here -- either punishing himself or feeling like he doesn't deserve healing? Kinda amounts to the same thing, I suppose)

30. lol, Mat tries to downplay his affection for Rand, yet again, but Thom calls him out on it by mentioning how Mat 'keeps saying' that Rand deserves a festival in his honor for cleansing saidin. Honestly, the case of Rand vs Fortuona does feel so illustrative at this point re: Mat's constant lying to himself -- Mat tries so hard to force himself NOT to feel loyal and affectionate towards Rand and TO feel loyal towards Fortuona, but then his mind keeps betraying him (he keeps thinking of Rand, over and over, in much greater detail than Perrin does; and, conversely, he keeps thinking of all the attractive women in the world that he's Not Allowed to think about due to his marriage to Fortuona).

31. Thom tells Moiraine that Mat married "the Empress of the Seanchan" and Mat cringes at the info being shared (he hunches down and tries to cover his face with his hat and 'forces a chuckle'). Moiraine is startled, but when Mat says it was 'accidentally' because the Seanchan have 'odd customs', she goes, "ah, ta'veren". Mat doesn't think of his reaction here as 'shame' but, yeah, it vibes hard as shame. Moiraine says she needs to go seek out Rand, and Mat agrees that she should, but says he has things that he needs to do in Caemlyn. And then he thinks of Rand (again) and blushes.

32. While I've seen Sanderson get blamed for it -- the Thom & Moiraine engagement scene was written by Jordan, as confirmed by Sanderson's retrospective (Sanderson is one of the fans who did not at all pick up on Jordan's murder-mystery style way of setting up Thom and Moiraine's 'romance' in the earlier books which, you know. Me too, lol). And 'abruptly making a life commitment out of nowhere with barely any lead-up' is also classic Jordan romance writing, lol.

Direct quote from Sanderson: "I will note, by the way, that Verin’s interaction with Egwene in The Gathering Storm was my biggest surprise from the notes. My second biggest was the Thom/Moiraine engagement. Robert Jordan wrote that scene, and I was surprised to read it."

So, yeah, the whole "I would give up being Aes Sedai for you" offer was all Jordan.

That being said, knowing that this scene was written by Jordan also makes me wonder how much of the previous scene that leads into it (Mat blushing over how much he's thinking about Rand and his clear shame over being married to the Empress of the Seanchan) was also written by Jordan. Moiraine actually IS one of the few characters in the Jordan books who occasionally slung around the name 'Matrim', so her using it here isn't a Sanderson 'tell' the way that it is for many other characters. I also wonder if the paragraph of admiration and Mat thinking of Moiraine as 'fetching' was written by Jordan because, if so, that might be the germ of the idea that led to all of the other moments when Mat has been distracted by how pretty all the women he's Not Allowed to admire are Because Wife.

33. When Mat reacts like a cat fallen into a bath at the idea of being bonded (though, hilariously, he does specify that he doesn't want to be bonded to a woman), Thom points out that "your Tuon" is capable of channeling, which is information that Mat has been trying to actively suppress from his memory (and he almost immediately does so again here, very quickly after Thom reminds him of it), another example of Thom bringing up Mat's marriage to specifically twit him about the parts of it that will make him unhappy (like how earlier, he brought up how it makes Mat a noble). But this conversation is kinda the first time that Mat has confirmed to other people that his marriage was 'accidental' due to 'Seanchan customs', I think? Which is information that Moiraine & Thom could theoretically share with other people (like, for example, Elayne, who is already aware that Mat is willing to self-destructively make himself miserable in order to keep a promise, from her experiences with him in Ebou Dar). Also, Moiraine now knows that the Empress of the Seanchan is capable of learning to channel.

34. Mat's missing eye is still throbbing in pain, but he doesn't give a thought to asking Moiraine to heal him. Either deep fear, like Moiraine suggested, or deep hate... for himself, I think (certainly not for Moiraine, as he's surprised himself in this scene with how much affection he's been feeling for her). I'm leaning towards 'self-hate' because Mat doesn't even consider asking THOM to help him clean and dress the wound using normal non-Power means, so it feels very much like Mat has given himself a painful punishment.

He also wonders what Tuon might think of a husband 'unable to defend himself', so, yeah, I think he's also very aware that she is not a supportive and caring life partner. He actually comes across as genuinely scared of her reaction here (he describes himself as 'trembling' at the thought). You're in an abusive relationship, buddy.

35. Olver opens the letter from Verin and gives it to Talmanes -- Verin was trying to warn Mat about the Waygate in Caemlyn being left unguarded and a huge force of Shadowspawn coming through the Ways to attack the city. Talmanes curses and heads off to defend the city, but then we see that it's already under attack. Congrats, Mat! Your stubborn determination not to ever listen to Aes Sedai has helped lead to an attack on Caemlyn.

36. For the first time in this entire book, we get a Rand PoV. In the epilogue. And it's only two pages long. *sigh*

Rand sits in a dream and thinks about what will come in the morning, when he speaks to Egwene and the monarchs of the world. We don't get ANY reflection on the events of the past book or any of his feelings about anything.

He hears distant screams of pain and follows them, and he sees 'Mierin' aka Lanfear, who tells him that she is being tortured by the Dark One and needs his help.

I'm so frustrated that this is the only Rand PoV that we got in this entire book! Why would you do that! What a terrible narrative choice!

37. Lan arrives at Tarwin's Gap -- "he was home again. For the last time." And he and his forces charge towards the Shadowspawn.

38. The very ending of the book is a quote from the 'prophecies of the Shadow' (the ones that Moridin is relying on but have already failed Graendal). We get a mention of "Midnight Towers" here but I have NO clue what it's meant to refer to, since it clearly isn't talking about the Seanchan Towers of Midnight. So, yeah, ????

The title of this book remains such a baffling choice.

How ready are we for the Last Battle?

Rand: organizing; basically ready

Egwene: organizing; basically ready

Mat: finally got his ass in gear. Managed to be the fault point for the Caemlyn invasion, so he was accidentally helping the Shadow there by being stubborn for no good reason. Kinda mirrors him helping the Seanchan by protecting Tuon during CoT & KoD. First he fails his friends through action (protecting a slaver) and then he fails them through inaction (not reading Verin's letter). But he also helps his friends (bringing Aludra to Caemlyn; rescuing Moiraine) so Mat has been a double-edged sword recently, useful and harmful at the same time.

In terms of his marriage: shame, repression, and denial seem to be the main emotions that Mat is bringing to the table. That's a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. The clash of values between Mat and Fortuona feels inevitable, once the immediate stress of the Last Battle and its aftermath has passed.

I am interested (this may or may not be the correct word, lol) on if Mat will become pod!person Mat from CoT & KoD once he's actually in Fortuona's orbit again. So far he's done his best to maintain the illusion in his head that "Tuon" and "the Seanchan Empire" are separate entities and he can help one of them while being opposed to the other one, but obviously that illusion will take a pretty hard hit once he's around Actual (Westlands Territories Only) Seanchan Empress Fortuona 'Slavery Is My Game' Paendrag again. I've genuinely enjoyed a lot of the Mat scenes in ToM but how much of that is because I haven't been forced to endure Mat & Tuon interacting? I guess I'm about to find out!

Elayne: she’s BEEN ready.

Perrin: went through wolf boot camp; basically ready. The wolf-related plotline Perrin does in these two books should have been in his plot during The Slog; Sanderson basically rewinds us to LoC!Perrin and goes from there, giving Perrin character development that should have been happening all along.

The Whitecloak-related plotline was... meh? The most I can give it is 'meh'. It solved a problem that I didn't care about and ignored the problems that I did care about, essentially.

Nynaeve: We don't get enough Nynaeve but what we do get is good, except for her massive communication issues, lol. She should have done the Black Tower plotline in this book rather than it being given to tertiary characters. It's an important enough plotline that it should have happened within the main cast.

Series ranking:

Hmm, this one was somewhat tough to rank because I mostly loved all the Mat & Elayne related scenes, and the Egwene and Nynaeve scenes were also good but I was very frustrated with almost all the Rand-related scenes being someone else's PoV and Perrin was. Not interesting to me unless he was in the wolfdream. So. Better than WH but not as good as EotW. Too Much Perrin, lol (you wouldn't necessarily know this from my reread posts because I was zooming through the Perrin chapters and then spending ages on the other ones, but trust me. There was A Lot of Perrin).

The Fires of Heaven (😍)

The Shadow Rising (😘)

The Dragon Reborn (😘)

The Path of Daggers (😘)

New Spring (😘)

The Great Hunt (😄)

The Gathering Storm (😄)

Lord of Chaos (😄)

...

A Crown of Swords (🙂)

The Eye of the World (🙂)

Towers of Midnight (🙂)

Winter’s Heart (🙂)

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Crossroads of Twilight (😒)

Knife of Dreams (😒)

[frenchiefreyed]

(uhhh SPOILER WARNING for any chapters ever? Mostly just theorizing though)

What if Aoi is EVIL???

Hello my brain has been thinking about this for a while so I wanted to make a post about it. This probably won't be all-inclusive to all the theories I've had about it but I'll do my best.

From the beginning I had a bit of a weird feeling about Aoi but I kinda ignored it because I was generally too focused on how much of a freak Akane was about her and how uncomfortable that made me hfchfhycfh. But I think the feeling in the beginning was that maybe she knew supernaturals existed and only pretended not to. Point of interest #1 is that she's really interested in supernaturals — of course this doesn't mean anything on its own, but it's interesting if the reason for her interest is related to having seen them. POI #2 is that when Nene is doing some wild, crazy, bonkers shit because she can see supernaturals, Aoi isn't THAT surprised by it. She seems slightly concerned for Nene, but not as much as she really should be if her best friend of all time is acting so abnormal. One of the main instances of this is when Hanako made Nene's hair look absolutely crazy and Nene shouted or stood up or something? And interrupted the whole class. Aoi was just staring at her like "I hope she's ok :(" or "why she been acting so weird..." but I really feel like a friend who is actually concerned should be like "what the FUCK is going on?????? Why did she do that to her hair????? Should I call somebody??? What???" This could be explained maybe by her not actually caring about Nene, and not that she knows about supernaturals, but that still kinda gets into evil Aoi territory and I might explore the idea later.

POI #3 (related to "evil aoi", not "can see supernaturals" aoi) is how it's revealed later that she kinda wants to disappear, secretly kinda hates everything I think? But that Akane is kind of an exception to that dislike. She continues interacting with and hanging out with him despite seeming to want to avoid getting too close to people otherwise. Iirc when she faces the possibility of her demise she only mentions Nene in the context of Hanako liking her, not in the context of potentially missing her or wishing she could see her again (please correct me if I'm wrong).

POI, or note? Theory? #4 is that she might mostly keep Akane around for the protection and benefits he gives her. To be clear, I think Akane is creepy as hell and is WAY too obsessed with Aoi overall, but I can't deny that she's somewhat encouraged these behaviors to continue and that she benefits from the arrangement.

#5 - She thinks that if people get too close to her they will hate her or something. This might indicate that she knows she's done bad things, or thinks she has something in her that's bad enough to be hateable? Sometimes people feel this way for absolutely no reason and it's just the brain eels whispering to them, but if she IS evil, its interesting that she seems to be self aware of it enough to know that people wouldn't like who she really is?

#6 - related to points 4 and 5, Aoi might keep Akane strung along without dating him — despite being interested in him — because of her belief that anybody getting "too close" would learn too much about her and hate her as a result. Therefore she keeps him as close as she possibly can without dating him so that she can still keep the benefits of having him around but not have to commit to being her "true self" anymore than she does with anyone else who is "just a friend". Akane seems happy with this arrangement but he really shouldn't be - it's kind of a sucky place to be in and it would somewhat indicate that she's, you know, using him. I wonder if Akane would have moved on from Aoi by now if she hadn't sorta encouraged him to continue...

#7 uhhhh in very very recent chapters, AU aoi slapped and belittled teru in a way that is very much classic abuse. Teru and Akane knock each other around all the time but they both are kinda "silly" about it, for lack of a better word. It's something that never seems, iirc, to fully upset either Teru or Akane - they're just kind of like "come on man stopp!!!". I can see why both cases could be classified as abusive, but the total different in atmosphere, vibes, and tone is why I'm willing to refer to AU Aoi's slapping and belittling as abuse while still supporting the shipping of Teru and Akane. And OF COURSE — this is an alternate universe where things are very different, and have been for a very long time. Aoi was forced into a situation from a very young age and we haven't seen enough to know what ways this has fully changed her demeanor. But, nonetheless, it's Aoi, and it's abusive, and it feels really weird to see it happen. It probably biases me to thinking OUR aoi might have something awful in her heart, but I think it might be a fair thing to mention?

#8 We have it confirmed that aoi is very good at masking her emotions and acting. This point serves both the "Aoi can see supernaturals" idea and the "Aoi is EVILLL" idea.

#9 Why might she pretend to not see supernaturals, you ask? Especially if she knows Nene can see them, too. I have a few ideas for this. Either she's SUPER EVILLL!!! and she has intentions to do very bad things (through spreading rumors maybe?) and she doesn't want anybody to be able to suspect her, or perhaps she knew from the beginning (whenever she first saw supernaturals) what it meant — she was going to die soon. She wants to disappear and she doesn't seem to want anybody to know that she wants to disappear — this is already something she has kept secret for years, so why would it be different when she realizes she will die soon? Somehow, she might have some way of knowing what it means to see supernaturals and might have been happy or even excited for her ultimate demise. She might have not wanted to tell other people, like Nene, because she might not have wanted Nene to try and save her. She might have just wanted to die.

#10 - she is very very calm when she "first learns" about supernaturals I think. Like almost too calm?? That kinda gave me the vibe that this isn't really anything new for her.

#11 - it would be extremely interesting if either theory is true and it adds to why she might keep Akane around. She'd know he can protect her from supernaturals and that might be what she wants, especially if she plans to hurt or destroy them?

#12 - sometimes Aoi just has this energy, even when she's being super nice, that she is capable of crushing the world beneath her feet (and someday will).

#13 - Nene completely idolizes and kinda romanticizes her, even in a really toxic and gross way. This could be the manga setting up for the ultimate moment when this person who she idolizes and respects so much eventually turns out to be completely working against her. It would make for a really interesting but upsetting moment of Nene having to come to terms with that. Nene would still be a bit of a bad friend even if it was for the sake of setup though.

I think these are all my points for now... I might share more if I think of them. if u read this far... What the freak?????? ur soooo weird /silly

[wayfayrr]

How about sage finds out about dink from seeing reader's shadow and how it has glowing red eyes and confronts reader about it and when reader looks back at their shadow it looks normal and they think sage is just paranoid which causes reader to give sage more cuddles and baby him a lot more but when reader goes to work and sage is alone in the house he sees dink come out of the shadows and he looks more sick ly, dink being more drain and tired from being a being made by magic in a none magical world and seeing how sage gets so much attention from reader and how reader and the chain don't trust him and look how frail he looks it surly be so easy now for the bastard links to finally kill him, he wants the things they have being able to not be judged or force to fight and to have someone so pure like reader makes him jealous 'why does those bastards get to have them? And since sage has no personal problems with dink and they share goals and enemies and after all dink can be sages eyes and sage can be his hands (maybe dink and sage sharing a body so sages arms doesn't hurt as much and dink can somewhat hold reader without reader freaking out or just being his shadow) maybe the chain find about this team up when they notice how sage has a little too much info about them like how knows personal things about them even tho he shouldn't be able to maybe that's how he knows sky ues to be close to hylia in the past cause with the links seeing reader as their god/dess and now they aren't close to hylia now. Maybe the chain find out about dink by noticing how sages shadow has red eyes. Since dink is the darker version of link especially knowing in the water temple when time doesn't move then dink doesn't move either when dink isn't see through anymore he attacks signifying that to an extent dink feels what the link he turns to feel so maybe because most of the time dink is sages shadow he feels what sage feels but ten times worst which causes dink to attack the nearest link who got too touchy with reader against sages taste in the night when everyone is asleep and basically pulling blankets, punching, screaming and basically acting like a demon from horror movies when ever sages gets a little pissy with the links which causes to put the chain in fight or flight zone and ends up with reader thinking the chain are having nightmares or animal has gotten in because there seems to be no evidence of an attack other than a scared link which causes sage to shush the scared link and get reader back to bed in his arms with a shadow having red eyes basically you put the chain in those demon horror movies like the conjuring. The more aware links put together that something is fishy with sage as the only people who don't get those 'nightmares' are reader and sage and as everyone says there experience with those 'nightmares' and how similar they are and how right before they get them in the night they pissed of sage and reader is too innocent and pure and wouldn't do anything to harm them which leaves put sage. Maybe because of lack of magic sage can only a shadow on the wall and do small things like go through walls and talk and somewhat grab things and turn to look like people's shadow and since won't be found on cameras he is sages eyes when reader is somewhere he can't be like work. Love ya and have a good day

KANDNDKAN SAGE AND DINK PARALLEL TO TIME AND FD??? HAVING SOMEONE ON SAGES SIDE WHO HE REALLY TRUSTS?? YES PLEASE!! ASKSNSMS

sage and dink would get so close to each other, like brothers. especially with how weakened dink is because sage can see himself in dink like that- he's like himself when he first got affected by gloom. but the gradual shift from when they're reluctantly teaming up to going towards as good of a bond as the rest of the chain and they'd get so close together literally and that is soo bad for the rest of the chain, as you said he's got the ability to share all of the chain's darkest secrets (Sage is going to hate sky until he realises that sky's turned his back on her even moreso than than sage did -arguably she hurt sky worse)

as for what sage could look like if he starts getting affected by dink? it'd probably be a lot more than just his eyes getting a bit of a red tint, maybe the roots of his hair start darkening; he looks paler overall maybe as more of a parallel he starts getting some marks like the others something similar to Twi's (as well as his shadow having red eyes of course)

AND IDEA THAT THE SHADOW PICKS UP SAGES EMOTIONS???? YES??? none of the other links are safe, none of them. Sage alone is one of the most dangerous people you could ever meet but if someone else had his feelings but amped up like you suggested???? with the dream demon stuff as well??? reader just dotes on him even more while the rest of the chain are all on the verge of calling an exorcist . those dreams are leaving them more on edge than anything else they've really been through

[killiancormac]

I picked and chose some of my favorite questions from that ask game for a few days ago to do for E-25 :] my scrungly

bound: Has your OC ever been imprisoned or captured? What happened? How did they get out? Did the experience leave any scars?

WELL you could consider his entire life up until unbound as imprisonment. he doesn't legally exist, he’s an experiment. he’s never been free. he and ethan’s mother signed a contract that let sinclair take her sons from birth to raise them in their facility – ethan got out as a young child with the help of his surrogate father, henry, one of sinclair’s scientists, but 25 had to be left behind. he was raised from birth and trained – and abused – by the scientists into becoming the perfect superweapon. while the original project was abandoned, they had put so much work into 25’s training experimentation that when alistair took over the business, he had him assigned to be his own personal assassin.

he does get out, eventually. after ethan kills alistair, there’s nothing keeping 25 in the facility. for the first time in his life, of his own volition, he just walks out. he kills henry to get revenge against ethan and they have a giant NASTY fight, but in the end, ethan refuses to kill the last remaining family member he has left, and takes him in. 

he has a number of scars from his time as sinclair’s guinea pig. only a few combat scars from assassination work, his targets usually didn’t get the chance to fight back. the majority of his scars are surgical scars. a line down his back, on his chest, ancient track marks on the inside of his arm. 

he and ethan beat the shit out of each other pretty badly, i can definitely see him having a scar from that, but i’ll have to think on it :) 

hide: What does your OC hide? Why do they hide it?

He hides a lot of his emotions. it may be more accurate to say he struggles with expressing them, although he conceals them as a result of that. he wasn’t allowed to express himself in the facility, and even though he is now, and encouraged to, he struggles with it. he doesn’t know what's too much and what’s too little, doesn’t know what his reaction to a lot of things should even be. 

he trained himself to have a straight face and not react to so many things, that at this point he’s not sure how to react to anything.

a part of him is also scared of being judged. of being pitied. or looked down on. he’s had more than enough of that thank you

ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts?

sinclair….. for sure. he spent years upon years trying to be perfect for him, trying to gain his approval, or his affection, if he were particularly lucky. he was always trying to top his expectations, always trying to get his praise. after he was gone, it took 25 a long time to break out of that way of thinking. it took him a long time to realise he hated him, and it took him even longer to accept that. even now, although it’s rare, sometimes he’ll still try to do things or act in a way that would have gotten him sinclair’s endorsement. 

monster: Is your OC monstrous in any way? Is there something that makes them monstrous? Are they aware of their own monstrosity? Do they accept it or reject it? 

by a lot of other people's standards. he was sinclair’s dog for YEARS, and was somewhat of an open secret in black market operations. piss sinclair off enough, you get E-25 sent after you. no one could ever prove anything, though, and those who ever had any crumb of substantial evidence against him were too scared to come out with it. 25’s face isn’t well known, but to the people who do know it, they know to keep their mouth shut. they’ve heard the rumors. a broken arm, bent entirely the wrong way. partial blindness. chronic migraines. things that will never heal all the way. and that’s if they’re lucky. 

he’s not proud of what he’s done for sinclair. it weighs on him much more than he wants it to. he doesn’t enjoy people being scared of him – maybe he did, at one point, but not anymore. not for a long time.

nightmare: What does your OC have nightmares about? How do they deal with their nightmares? Do they tell people, or keep it to themself?

he has nightmares about the facility a lot. never anything else. in his nightmares. he’ll wake up, and his entire freedom has been the result of a fever dream, brought on by a new experiment. he always has to take a few minutes when he wakes up from them to reaffirm they aren’t real.

wound: How does your OC handle being wounded? Are their wounds mostly physical? Mental? Emotional? What's the worst wound your OC has ever experienced?

he ignores it LOL one of the many things he’s forced himself to block out is pain. focus on his mission, above all else. pain can be dealt with later, after he’s gotten back to homebase and received treatment. if nothing else, pain helps keep him grounded. forces him to focus on being careful, which is a reminder he needs. 

+ the questions @ruvviks sent me the other day :) for archival sake

alone: How does your OC deal with loneliness? Have they ever been completely alone before? How do they act when there's no one around to see them?

He's very, very used to it. he and ethan aren't sinclair's only trained assassins; they're part of a group of 31 people who were raised from birth to be super soldiers, or at least the testing grounds for the means to MAKE them. the project was abandoned by sinclair's father, but the subjects remained, and since they legally do not exist, they were all just absorbed into the facilities work force, with the exception of 25, who received the brunt of the experiments (and abuse) from the scientists. he was purposely kept isolated from the other 31 subjects, made to train in isolation, subjected to repeated and harsh experiments to make him the perfect assassin.

he's been alone all of his life, and when he was younger, it was incredibly hard for him. he's forced himself to be used to loneliness, he had to be to survive, but it DID fuck him up. he lives off sinclair's validation and praise, and after ethan kills him and 25 is left alone (and free, but he's not thinking about that rn) he doesn't really know what to DO with himself. 

post unbound, ethan takes him in. and that's Fine. <- its not. for a while, 25 really wants to kill him, but with no purpose, master, or home, he's just kind of. lost. so he lives with ethan, and tries not to wring his neck everytime he sees him. but for a good while, he's still used to solitude. living with someone else is weird, being in someone else's company 24/7 is uncomfortable and the complete opposite of everything he's ever known. he spends a lot of time in his room, or going on walks (when he's feeling strong enough to leave the apartment), and just going wherever he can be alone. 

his own company is comforting to him... sometimes. other people are unpredictable and loud and they always want to talk to him, and sometimes he just wants to be by himself. but then there's the question of does he actually want that? or does he just think he does, because that's how he's been trained? he struggles with loneliness, post unbound, because at this point in his life he's trained himself to ignore it so much that when he DOES experience it, he doesn't know how to deal with it. he's gotten a lot better at just being around people by the time unbound 2 rolls around, but he still only prefers being around his brother and friends.

fear: What is your OC's greatest fear? What do they do when confronted with it? Are they open with their fear, or do they hide it away?

his world being taken away from under him. it's happened to him once already, when ethan killed sinclair, but at least he had people who cared about him that he could (eventually and with difficulty lmfao) fall back on. if it were to happen again, if something were to happen to ethan or diana or vaughn, he wouldn't know what to DO with himself. they've done so much for him, they've helped him so much. he wouldn't be nearly the man he is today without them. 

It's really T_T because he went from being an assassin to a protector. attack dog to guard dog... augh