#maybe he’d also make the kind that he can control while theyre wearing it

[hijackalx]

NSFW GORTASH HEADCANON

gortash likes to make all kinds of crazy mechanical doodads yes? imagine him making the worlds first vibrator just for dark urge LMAO. imagine him making all kinds of sex toys for durge to use……

like something about them using an object he made to get off with is so hot to him. he’ll want to watch. if theyre not together he’ll want them to write about it in the letters they exchange. and post

* EDIT no cuz him sitting at his desk late at night designing and creating stuff to make them feel good is extremely endearing and perverted and hot. like he made that !!!!! personally !!! with his hands !!!! he thought about stuff they would like and drew it out and made it !!!!!! my man so talented i need him

[roughentumble]

I'm almost afraid to ask...

What are your werewolf au ideas?

GSHBDKSND oh its not horny or anything its just like. kind of angsty, but like, in that way where sometimes angsty daydreams are fun, you know?? like

ok its like a geraskier thing cuz im a one trick pony, but basically geralt gets cursed, three nights a month he goes all wolfy. he's an intelligent werewolf with pretty great self control, BUT he's like, ridiculously worried that he's gonna snap and hurt people. (he's not, but, you know, he's had to put down werewolves for that before, and he's not a man with a lot of faith in himself, So.)

uhhhh i cant remember how jaskier finds out tbqh, but after traveling together a while, it comes to light, and jaskier is of course very "its just you, im not scared, and im not judging you." they hang out, they figure things out, and geralt starts to relax.

so all the time he's been cursed, he hasnt gone back to kaer morhen-- its only been a year or two, but still. he feels like they'd know right away, he's worried they'd just put him down, he doesnt think they should get used to "monsters in the keep", he just feels Real Bad about it, but jaskier convinces him that this is his family, they'd understand, and they must miss him.

geralt agrees, eventually, goes up to kaer morhen with jaskier in tow.

but once they get there, he just... totally refuses to explain anything. none of the other witchers have sussed out that something's wrong(other than jaskier's hushed whispering about how geralt should "just tell them, they'd understand")

geralt's genius solution is, he'll just sleep outside three nights a month, he'll bring blankets and his fur will protect him. jaskier doesnt like it, but he's not about to tell geralt's secret, and he cant bodily drag a werewolf inside, so. his only condition is that he gets to sit outside with geralt for a bit, cuddle with him n' such. their excuse is that theyre gross love birds who are going out for moonlight picnics. everyone buys this, partially because its sort of true, partially cuz no one wants to walk in(or out) on them fucking.

it actually works the first trio of nights, to jaskier's surprise, but the 4th night they try they arent so lucky-- they forget something inside(a bottle of wine, a blanket, who knows) and eskel is like "i'll fall on my sword, be the one to bring it out to the happy couple". he steps outside, and what does he see?

a gigantic werewolf pinning jaskier to the ground.

bit of a frenzy after that, eskel attacking and shouting for backup, trying to keep the werewolf in sight while also looking for geralt, getting between the monster and jaskier while jaskier shouts-- eventually jaskier gets through to him though. thats geralt, dont hurt him, its geralt.

geralt isnt saying anything though(despite the fact he's perfectly capable of it, even transformed), and eskel sortve misunderstands. doesnt really get that this has been a long-term affliction, and assumes this is the first transformation. so with geralt not responding, eskel says "not right now it isnt," and gets his hands on one of the training blades they keep in the courtyard.

more chaos-- everyone's outside now, jaskier is absolutely not having any of it but also three grown witchers versus one bard isnt much of a fight, no one's listening to him, and geralt's just pinning himself against the wall like a prey animal and not saying anything.

jaskier proves just enough of a distraction that geralt manages to hop a wall, takes off into the woods. jaskier is calling after him, while the three remaining witchers each make a gameplan(STILL not listening to jask). after a moment, jaskier darts and weaves and makes it just out of their grasp, so they've got a werewolf AND a bard loose in the woods in the dead of both night and winter, which. Bad.

eskel goes after geralt, vesemir stays behind because they need someone in the keep, and lambert's on bard wrangling duty. lambert doesnt have much trouble finding jaskier, but he does have trouble keeping a hold on him, because he's worried about breaking his tiny human limbs(and also he's wearing a lot of thick layers, which he has no compunctions about ripping to shreds to get out of lambert's grip.) he loses a boot and a sleeve to the ongoing tussle, as he keeps slipping out and darting away. lambert even tries axii, but the biggest trick to getting out of axii is just training a lot to resist it, so geralt and him'd run through that a long time ago, so his response is to go fake-limp, then kick lambert in the dick and run off into the night with one shoe.

lambert is extremely annoyed. its not jaskier's best plan.

he finds the cave that geralt had backed himself into by some miracle, and also because eskel'd made no efforts to hide his tracks and there are currently shouts coming from the cave. jaskier gets himself inbetween the two of them and refuses to budge. geralt's still pulling the silent routine, ears pinned back, looking like a kicked dog, and eskel's trying to coax jaskier away from the "monster".

lambert comes bursting in as well, pissed and sore, but stays near the entrance, the four of them locked in a sort of stalemate. the three of them argue about what to do, but jaskier is shivering because of his wrecked coat. eventually geralt breaks his silence to rumble out a worried "yourrr fingerrrs..."

(werewolves roll their 'r's in tw3. dont ask me why, just go with it.)

eskel and lambert are stunned into silence, and jaskier is immediately turning towards geralt, letting him fret and dote on him. slips his arm inside his jacket so his fingers dont fall off-- lets geralt wrap a giant, warm paw around his foot to get some heat back into it.

lambert's like "wait, so you CAN fucking talk?????"

it all got escalated way out of hand, partially because of eskel's reaction, but also because geralt was too ashamed to stand up for himself-- thought maybe they were a little bit right. was basically just going to curl up and let it happen, which he admits with some gentle prodding, and leaves eskel looking sick.

jaskier, though, is absolutely nuclear levels of pissed, because he was explaining everything, even how he'd known for months, and that geralt was perfectly safe to be around, but all the non werewolf witchers were just tuning him out. and geralt nearly died because of it. so he's, like-- he's unspeakably angry at all three of them.

eventually, they do all four make their way back to the keep(geralt carrying jaskier cuz he's still missing a boot), and explain everything one more time for vesemir. everyone looks pretty ragged, because it was a lot of drama very suddenly late at night.

geralt still hesitates in the doorway of the main hall, says he'll make the keep smell like monsters, that it's dangerous, but jaskier just gently encourages him inside and they curl up together in front of the hearth, nice and warm.

from there its little bits and pieces of geralt showing his werewolfy-er side, like dragging in a deer one night to devour raw by the fire. (he looks bashful about it, but jaskier insists its a part of their routine on the road, helps geralt clean his muzzle afterword.) and jaskier slowly encouraging geralt to relax, come deeper into the keep, curl up in a real bed.

jaskier gets less mad, but never quite gets over the fact that geralt's family proved his fears right. geralt gets less ashamed, but never fully sheds his anxieties about being allowed inside. everyone else gets less tense, but never quite sheds the shame of nearly killing their brother in arms while he was fully cognizant-- or quite comfortable with a "monster in the keep". it's still their first winter, tho, so with any luck things will someday get smoothed out.

[the porny ending is that geralt knots all three of them and this wildly smooths over any remaining tensions, but thats just a little fun off-shoot, not the Official Daydream Ending]

[koyacyi-vode]

Hey! For the character ask game, could you do Fox and/or Dogma? Thank you! :)

Brave of you to request Fox for this headcanon game when C literally encourages me to be as mean as possible. Fox first then I'll post Dogma second!

---

Headcanon A - realistic:

This is one I explored briefly in this fic. Fox rarely drinks alcohol. He has always disliked the feeling of not being in control, and that feeling gets exponentially worse the longer the war goes on the the more he has to deal with palpy. When he DOES drink he drinks alone and usually just to either forget things or because he can't sleep. He'd only consider getting positively shit-faced if he was with his closest brothers (those who know why he doesn't drink instead of just thinking he's got a stick up his ass).

On that note, few of Fox's brothers know him very well because he's incredibly closed off. Shinies in the Guard are simultaneously awed by him (cause wow!!! it's THE commander Fox!) as well as intimidated by how cagey he is with them (which gets MUCH worse after Fives)

Headcanon B - while it may not be realistic it is hilarious:

Fox has zero clue how to deal with children and even though he is hashtag 'trying his best', he's woefully lacking in parental instincts. He gets awkward with them and uncomfortable cause KRIFF they're small and vulnerable and where's their armor???

Unfortunately, when Fox draws the short straw and has to guard senators or diplomats (on Coruscant, poor boi never gets to leave because of his position and isnt on the diplomatic service rotation like the other commanders) he is sometimes saddled with their children.

and if Fox didn't know how to interact with NORMAL children, senators' chilren are an absolute nightmare for him.

Fox, whose one personal posession is a 40oz caf mug, is privately horrified that a toddler can have their own FLOOR of a building to themself.

Fox is eventually taken off babysitting duty entirely as Thire quotes him as being "a danger to public safety and common sense" after he gives a child a blaster when the kid asked for something to play with and the parents complained.

fox: it wasn't kriffing loaded. i'm not stupid.

thire: uh huh. you keep telling yourself that.

Headcanon C - heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends:

(general warnings for suicidal ideation, please be mindful if that makes you at all uncomfortable, especially the paragraphs i'm marking after a *)

Fox has some of the most intense survivor's guilt in the GAR. Being from the original Command Class, live fire was still used in training up until they were roughly 16 standard years. Fox's first visceral experience with death was when one of his batchmates made a single misstep and was fatally wounded in an exercise. Fox was right next to him and held him while his brother died in his arms.

That experience so young shaped him into being incredibly protective of his brothers as well as being a perfectionist. (If one wrong move gets you killed then he CAN'T make a wrong move, otherwise what use would he be to his brothers?) he figures, if he is the one stepping out then he wont have to watch his brothers die again. (that does not go as he planned)

Fox is known as being utterly fearless and is one of the most decorated soldiers in the GAR. However, Fox's closest brothers recongize that his 'fearlessness' is actually a combination of overprotectiveness and cripplingly dangerous recklessness.

Desperation along with the soul-crushing work that goes with being the commander of the guard whittled him down mentally, emotionally, and physically (along with being unknowingly brainwashed and used against his will - palps found his 'obedience' useful, and would test different contingency orders by manipulating Fox's chip or straight up using Force influence on him. Fox's body recognized that something wrong was happening to him LONG before he figured it out himself, which gave him chronic panic attacks that he hid from everyone).

*

Fox's recklessness was also in part because he just wanted things to be over. in a kind of convoluted, lengthy suicide by proxy. it's woefully easy for him to attempt it, because he has a crazy dangerous job. all he had to do was wear himself down physically and mentally by not taking care of himself. and then grudgingly wonder if a stray blaster bolt will finally end it for him.

Fox would never do it himself. Because the inclination is in direct opposition with his need to keep his brothers alive, and how can he do that if he's dead? Rationalizing it doesn't of course stop the feelings from occuring, he can't just talk himself out of being reckless and endangering his life. But it keeps him going another day when he thinks of his brothers.

only 3 of his brothers know any specifics about his suicidal tendencies (and even then Fox is an emotional brick wall so most of it they just have to gUESS and then judge their hypothesis on how guilty Fox looks when they ask). The ones who know are Wolffe and Cody (Fox's remaining batchmates) and Stone. And Stone found out simply by being observant and calling Fox out on his self care and getting more than he bargained for in response.

which is what brings me to Fox's canon death and how his reaction to Vader is quite telling of his mental and emotional state at the time. Because here is competent, decorated, fearless Fox, stammering and afraid of Vader's presence (my headcanon is his fear of Vader overrode the chip's programming a bit, because other instances in canon show post 66 clones being quite one-note and Fox's reaction is an exeption along with Grey). But Fox had, after years, finally made a mistake and took that fatal misstep. But maybe it just wasnt an accident.

Headcanon D - unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own:

If Legends existed in canon, Fox would absolutely be aware of some of the shit the Nulls and RCs got up to on Coruscant. But he finds Ordo absolutely impossible to deal with (theyre too similar so they end up hating each other on principle). he would really just rather not get into it, so he just literally turns around like "not my problem" and leaves them to it. Plausible deniability and less headaches are better for him in the long run.

Unrelated headcanon, but Fox is one of the clones that starts to go gray early almost entirely from stress (others being Ordo and Alpha-17). His brothers tease him relentlessly about it.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Can you tell us more about Magnus's and Alec's biggest kinks?

what can i say except YEA BOI

i mean i do feel like this is a lil repetitive because i do talk about that frequently but you cant stop me from saying it again. i think orgasm delay/denial is huge for the both of them, although it's usually relatively short-term (a few hours if they're having sex directly, maybe a few days with like long pauses). Magnus loves feeling all needy and desperate, wet and squirming and begging, and Alec loves seeing Magnus like this under him, open and trusting and asking, begging for more. Alec can tie Magnus up and eat him out for hours, slowly and teasingly, tongue circling Magnus' clit steadily, not a lot of pressure, but unrelenting until he's squirming and trying desperately to thrust deeper against him, but unable to because of the ropes :') and he just gets lost in that good good subspace, floating in pleasure, as Alec runs his big hands through his body, makes him feel good, and makes him wait and want and ache for more

or if its a bit more long term...... i always think phone sex, Alec is in a trip for like two days and he won't be sleeping at home, so he tells Magnus not to touch himself before Alec is back. and Magnus is already wet just from hearing that request, all breathily going "yes, Master" and Alec smiles but kisses him, slowly but filthily, strokes his cheek with his thumb lightly, and then leaves. and all day Magnus is just on edge, feeling needy and excited and maybe he even whips out his collar to wear while he's at home to ground himself (on that topic: Magnus absolutely loves collars!! might elaborate later)

and then at night when Alec is at his hotel he calls Magnus and asks him how his day has been, and Magnus tells him how on edge he was, how excited and turned on, he's all breathless and saying he can't wait for Alec to be back, and Alec jerks off to that, teasing Magnus all the while, telling him all the things he wants to do to Magnus, but reminding him not to touch himself. and Magnus is just moaning and rocking slightly against the bed, needing something, but not getting it. and then once Alec comes, asks him how he is, makes sure he's fine and wants it to keep going, says that he loves him.. he hangs up and Magnus is just. aching for it all night. and then when he gets home the next day Magnus is waiting for him and dolled up and desperate and Alec makes him come until hes pretty much boneless under him, relaxed and happy and sated

on the topic of collars!! Magnus loves collars and thats a true canon fact and that's just how it is. i feel like they're kinda neutral to Alec (i mean he likes them, loves seeing Magnus wear them, especially one with his name on it, so he can draw Magnus closer and touch him all over and say that Magnus is his, his beautiful perfect pet slut... I'm getting sidetracked. anyway. he does like them, but he's not crazy about them like he is with other things) but you know since Magnus loves them of course he loves them. Magnus absolutely adores them, the texture, the feeling of being owned/belonging, the way they help him feel grounded and centered doing a scene, the light (obviously consensual) humiliation of wearing one. if he's teased long enough, he can come just from having the collar be put on, and when he does it's just the most beautiful thing. hmmmm

i think Alec definitely has a brat taming kink and even if Magnus doesn't per se, he doesn't mind acting bratty if it's gonna get Alec to fuck him hard and deep. it usually doesnt last long after like foreplay and stuff unless they're doing a lightly kinky version (like no edgy, collars, etc) because then he just wants to let go and submit, you know? but if it's lighter he definitely enjoys bantering with Alec and provoking him, getting Alec to snap and just give it to him. Alec is always great but he's also like. endlessly tender and loving and while that's obviously incredible, when Magnus wants Alec to just fuck him hard and rough? being bratty is the way to go

also obviously Magnus has a praise kink and Alec has a "praising Magnus" kink, he can spout poetry about him and his body for hours in bed, tie him up and absolutely worship his body as he tells Magnus every little thing he loves about his body, and Magnus is overwhelmed, blushing, and crying (good tears, happy, and he definitely doesn't want Alec to stop), but feeling so loved and adored like he never has, and like he deserves (and like Alec deserves to love and adore, too, because he loves Magnus so much he could burst from it sometimes, and he wants to express that as much as possible because he never thought he'd get to, okay). this is very emotionally loaded for the both of them, because Magnus cant even believe Alec at the beginning, instinctively shakes his head in negative because theres no way Alec sees him like this. but he does

Sorry for making it angsty udndjdndk but on a similar but lighter subject, i think Magnus absolutely gets turned on from being romanced. like when Alec goes all traditional courtship on him and gets him flowers and wears a suit and kisses the back of his hand, looking up at him with that intense lightwood stare? hes so fucking horny, man. and it takes him a while to even realize that, until one day Alec is like "Magnus, you know i dont romance you and take you on fancy dates just for sex, right?" and Magnus is like "hm? yeah" and Alec is like "well ok its just that every time we do it you kind of. jump on me" and Magnus is like hmmmmmmmm and alec's like "wait. does it turn you on?" and Magnus never thought about it but it makes sense and oh god it totally turns him on

so you know 🤷 whats a guy to do but bring that into play? and so they make this elaborate date in their loft, both of them in some fancy tuxes, maybe Magnus has a vibrator against his clit that Alec controls? and they have dinner, and slow dance, and all the time Alec is watching him with hungry eyes, playing with his vibrator, leaving lingering touches on him that have Magnus shivering and almost begging, but then Alec pulls away and pretends nothing's happened and fuck he loves it. and then when do finally skip the foreplay and get to business, Alec undresses him very slowly, taking his time, kissing every new inch of skin, being so delicate and careful with his beautiful boyfriend/princess. and again it's a little overwhelming for Magnus because its so tender but it's also perfect and he may or may not need like double the orgasms he usually does after such long, teasing foreplay

also theyre def into roleplaying sometimes and dressing up. i think Magnus is into some light feminization like being called Princess and whatnot, wearing panties, thigh highs, etc. i think theyre into exhibitionism, that Magnus loves creampies, that they both love cockwarming...... thats what Ive got djdndjdndi this ask is long enough as it is

also you know just to make sure that its said that all of this is totally consensual and doesnt mean anything about their relationship outside of the bedroom, and thats why it works. Magnus doesn't want to be below anyone and theyre always equals in their relationship and will never act like anything but. that's why they trust each other to do this in the bedroom in the first place. because they know that once it's over, they're back to being partners, and loving and caring and dorky like they always are. also there are always safewords and either of them can tap out, etc. just so there arent any doubts about that

[mccnxhild]

K,Y,U,N,G,R,I ....

Dirty A-Z headcanon game

K- is for kissing

god what part of her DOESN’T she like kissed by ren? ren could kiss her anywhere and she’s smiling. but some of her favorites include down her spine, and neck, as well as collar bones and inner thighs... she likes to kiss ren on his neck, shoulders, his pecks, and hip bones you know what i’m sayin.. she does like to leave marks though they’re usually fairly light and probably go away in a few days because she get’s worried that it’s too much but on some rare occasions she does leave him with some darker hickies. now contrary to belief and as much as she may say she doesn’t like him marking her, she LOVES it. she loves the idea of having him leave the little bruises all over her skin because they make her smile when she sees them. that she is all his and only his. there’s just something sexy about getting the marks (because it feels good), but also soft seeing them the next day.

Y is for yes master

oooo lawrdy. so kyungri does like to be called things during sex, more along the lines of baby, babygirl, kitten and princess. those are most preferred and earn a reaction every time, she’s not opposed to other’s but if ren is looking to wind her up or get her to react some kind of way those are the ones to use. as for what she calls ren, usually something along the lines of babe and baby but gaining some confidence will call him daddy or oppa especially when she sees him react positively to it, it will only encourage her to do that more.

U - is for underwear

she love love loves to wear sets. she is a set queen honestly, at least now she is. before ren she never owned anything other then some simple undies and bras. but once some of the other girls started showing off each others sets kyungri wanted to give it a try. her favorites are anything pastel like pink, blue or yellow. but she likes to get the reaction from ren by wearing his favorites like black, red or white. they’re definitely lacy and skimpy, some are floral and pretty, she likes to switch them up. lets not forget most sets do indeed have thigh highs to match, occasionally with a collar or choker of some kind. and even sometimes wear them under his clothes she has on or something really big where he can just see a sneak peak of a strap of a bra sticking out or even the lace or strap from panties peaking from her bottoms. 

N is not yet

at first the idea of being denied to orgasm was something kyungri thought seemed a little too much. and while she wasn’t entirely wrong it is something that she liked way more then she thought she would. she likes ren having entire power over her in intimate moments like this for him to make choices for her most of the time, and him getting to choose when she gets to cum is kind of a turn on. and she can’t lie finding the courage to beg him to her let is kind of fun. 

G is for group sex

never absolutely not ever. the courage it took to even get to where her and ren are, letting another person in on that?!? not to mention she would never want to share ren with someone else and i highly doubt he’d be into sharing either...

R is for routine 

there isn’t one. she doesn’t plan it or anything and because she initiates less then him when she does that alone is no routine itself. for her to initiate would mean she has to be really horny, that something either worked her up, or maybe mother nature is around the corner so it’s not predictable and there’s not plan. but she does prefer when they have time rather then feeling rushed like in a quickie because she likes to take her time to get him worked up and make ren feel good.

I is for impact play

she would have been scared for how this can go when ren suggested it, just because of how strong he is and how she’s seen him when he loses control to his anger, and though he wouldn’t be doing this in anger she still would have wondered how intense this could be. but once finally trying she’s definitely into it. she trusts ren enough to quite literally do anything to her. but having him spank her with his hand or any kind of toy she’s definitely  a mess especially if shes bent over his knee. since trying it she likes to see how much of it she can take, even more so if he’s really into it. purposefully finds reasons for him to use impact play on her when theyre intimate too, often gets a little too shy to ask for it verbally so if they have a paddle or something she might even just hand to to him with a small grin. ren mayhaps has taught her how much more rough she likes things then she would have ever thought..

[honeylikewords]

Oh. My. God. So i started learning Gaelic on Duolingo (pray for me). And i just got slapped in the face by my friend who was like, imagine David teaching you Gaelic while you teach him English. Imagine Highlander AU! David who has a farm going and loves those really pretty highland cows who have lovely eyelashes, and makes his own butter and wears a kilt 👀💯👌 and David and his lady love sit on a hillside and tell stories about forest fey and say pretty words of love in both languages 💞💓

Pt.2 And then theyre both excited to be learning together and she points at a potato and shes like "buntàta!" And David looks at her all rosey cheeked like, yes little bear thats a potato im so proud of you, youre doing so well 💞💓

Aww! I’m so glad you’re learning a new language! Languages can always be hard, but I have confidence that you’ll do well! Plus, it’s a great way to spend your time and keep your brain flexible (especially now, during quarantine)! Do let me know how it’s going as you head along on your linguistic journey!

And this is a really sweet idea! I love people using their own unique languages and backgrounds to build their relationship!

But I think there’s been a little bit of confusion; David is Irish, not Scottish, and Gaelic traditionally refers to the Scottish language. Kilts are typically associated with the Scottish (though the Irish do have them!), Highland cows are Scottish, and “the Highlands” (and, thus, the title of “Highlander”) refer to the Scottish Highlands. 

Scotland and Ireland are actually two separate areas, with Ireland being a separate island slightly to the west and south of Scotland! 

Pilgrimage takes place in Ireland (though I can’t quite recall which exact area the movie is set in, it says that the movie was filmed largely on the West Coast of Ireland, such as Galway and Mayo, which seems to me to be rather distant from Scotland), so I assume the characters depicted are Irish (though, since David is kind of mysterious in his origin in the film, it’s perfectly reasonable to suggest he could come from somewhere else!).

While the two languages do have a lot of overlap and come from similar roots as Goidelic languages, they are considered to be rather distinct! Since you reference “buntàta”, I’m guessing you’re referring to Scottish Gaelic!

I will admit that from what I have read, “Gaelic” can refer to both languages, at times, since they have some transfer between one another, and many outsiders (myself included!) can have difficulty tracing what came from where, who holds claim to what, et cetera, and because “Gaelic” also refers to the overall of anything that is descended from the Gaels. There’s a lot of discussion about which terms mean what and who gets referred to as what, so I’ll leave that specificity to people who actually are Irish, Scottish, or have studied the topic more intensively than I.

But I will say that what I know from my time in the UK (and being in Scotland) is that the Scottish and Irish people do have completely distinct cultures, very, VERY much do not enjoy being conflated as one identity, and are very protective of being seen as separate, unique peoples. 

So while I do agree that the Highlands are very romantic (I’ve been, and it’s lovely!), and David would do well in such an area, for the sake of keeping David distinctly Irish, maybe we can rework some of these ideas for romanticizing the Irish countryside and Irish languages!

He could definitely have a lovely farm in Ireland, and I imagine he loves cows! Cows and horses, specifically, because he’s a big fan of the larger animals that he can steer around and herd, likely with a nice, big dog by his side. I think he farms sheep, cows, horses, a few chickens, but no pigs (he can’t stand pigs, not even to eat, excepting a few rare occasions when he’ll accept a slab of smoked bacon at market), and loves to take care of his herds and flocks as best as he can.

He’s quite good at making butter because of his upper arm strength and patience, so he can just sit there for hours, working the cream and the churn, just utterly silent. Someone who didn’t know him might find it offputting or creepy, the way he can just zone out and churn for hours in complete silence, but his beloved knows that, yep, that’s just him relaxing! He’s probably thinking about his favorite cow, or what he’s going to eat for dinner, or about how nice it’ll be to cuddle tonight when he gets back to bed and is able to rest with his lovely one.

I like to think that the days he takes “off” (in quotes because, really, you can’t take a real holiday from a farm, since those animals need feeding and watering and walking and milking, and there are always daily chores) are Sundays and church holidays, but, every now and then, he can be convinced to get all his chores done early in the morning, leaving a day for him and his sweet one to do anything they like, whether that’s going into town (very rare, since David isn’t very fond of town) or just having a stroll together through the hills, through the fields, off in their own little world.

David likes when she talks as they walk, letting her just chatter and following the drift and flow of her thoughts, streaming like a pleasant, bubbling river that carries them both along. They walk arm in arm, and every now and then, David will stop and point at something-- a bird, a stone, a tree, a wandering deer-- and raise an eyebrow at his sweetheart, which she knows is his wordless probing to ask her to tell him the name of the object in Irish Gaeilge. 

She’ll pause and chew her lip, looking at where his large finger is pointing, and take a moment before giving her answer-- éan, cloch, crann, or fia, for example-- and if she has answered correctly, he’ll give her one of his sweet, shy smiles, the ones that crinkle his eyes and hide his lips behind his beard, cheeks rounded up, eyes reflecting just a light glitter of happiness. If he’s in an especially good mood or she’s answered a particularly obscure question, he might bend down and kiss her temple, beard tickling her face as he nuzzles into her hair.

David likes to help her climb up the hillside, since so many can be so dreadfully steep, and it’s so cute to see her try to scrabble her way up the side of the hill and then need to hold onto him for support. Once they’re both safely at the top, David will sit himself down in the tall grass, guiding her to sit on his sturdy lap and gaze out over the countryside, all verdant and sprawling. The wind will whistle through the trees and past their ears, and David might find himself humming along, his voice low and rumbling in his chest and carrying into her back as she leans against him. 

He holds her hand and waits, resting his chin on her shoulder, keeping her held warm and cozy against his large form. He doesn’t always know what he’s waiting for, but he waits, regardless, and something lovely always shows itself, reveals in response to his patience. 

Sometimes, it’s a sudden burst of sunshine-- the clouds parting overhead, showering glowing light down on the shimmering green hills and fields-- or a flock of birds tittering out in the fields, or her, his love, turning around in his lap and burying her face in the crook of his neck, or gazing into his eyes and playfully rubbing her nose against the lumpy, broken bridge of his, hovering her warm lips over his to ever-so-sweetly tease him into leaning forward and giving her a kiss, hungry and impatient, in contrast to his usual self-control.

Once in a while, they’ll bring along a basket of food, often much larger than what would normally be brought on a picnic due to David’s ravenous appetite, and a book for her to read aloud, perched on David’s knee as he chews on a  sandwich and listens intently. 

He likes for her to read fairytales or stories from the countryside, but doesn’t mind, the occasional turn of something dramatic; he’s let her read him ghost stories or tales of woe, though he sometimes gets bored of the dull and dreary tone and waits for an especially tense moment of the story and scares her by grabbing her waist abruptly and going “boo!” in her ear in that deep voice of his, making her shriek and flap around in his lap (which, of course, leads him to letting out a rough, heavy laugh and squeezing her close, kissing her cheeks in apology). 

But when she reads stories of princesses and noble knights, or maidens fair and lovely, he looks at her with adoring eyes and knows that the holds his own little princess on his lap, and that he’d slay any dragon, swim any sea, trick any fae to be able to come home to her every single day.

He’s always proud of her, always.

I love this idea and I do hope you send in more adorable things like this! 

[sanguinarius-archive]

Hey! Could I get to know some of your headcanons about dickfigures/your designs for them? :D

ya ya sure!!!!

i already have my designs for them up if you havent seen, here they are!

as for headcanons idk how long this post will be so ill just add a read more for anyone who might not wanna scroll thru it all lol

red!!!!!

his real name is rowan bc i thought it was cute, also it means “little red one” which is eVEN BETTER

he’s nonbinary masc and bisexual! the self projection is REAL

he has adhd

most of my headcanons kinda flow into my own version of dick figures because i’m not very Satisfied with canon NJSJDNSKM so like. for example red doesn’t just kill people or whatever. he gets into fights and has scars and wears bandaids a lot bc of them

he graduated college with blue, he got a bachelor’s degree in fine arts (honestly idk how college works bc im a grade 10 baby so if thats like totally wrong just let me know also im. canadian so idk how american school system works LOL)

red got suspended a lot in high school but never expelled. mostly bc he got in fights that were mainly him protecting stacey from shitty people (he sees her as his sister so he was rlly protective) and the school wasnt really sure what else to do so they just. you know. suspended him a bunch of times hoping itd do something but it didnt

he hates his dad! reason being is bc when he was born, his dad was actually an alien able to disguise himself as human, so he wanted to take red back to his home planet cuz red turned out to be more powerful than anything his dad had ever seen. but red’s mom was like Nope, so she snuck out with him and his plush cat (kitty amazing) and they were never found. red is very close with his mom and is scared of his dad coming back someday

we know he canonically likes rlly loud music so im just gonna project here and say he’s a metalhead. at least, some form of it. he likes the alt scene music and industrial rock. examples being deftones, nine inch nails, skinny puppy, rage against the machine, kittie and others. it keeps him focused and calm

bLUE!!!

we know blue was bullied as a kid but i dont wanna say red also bullied him bc i feel like thats just wrong to me? MAYBE ITS NOT ACTUALLY but it just makes me sad so like. lets say red, being as protective as he is, stood up for blue a lot cuz he was like “oh this kid cant fight” so he knew what to do

blue dated pink for awhile but they mutually agreed to break up after blue realized this wasnt what he wanted (he came to the conclusion that he was gay, well, he knew for awhile but it was Internalized Homophobia)

he grew up in a very conservative family so to see the world completely differently by meeting red, ems (lt), pink and stacey was a very good thing for him. unfortunately even tho his family did love him, it was conditional so they stopped talking to him after he came out. thankfully he’d already graduated high school by that point

despite being emotional blue isn’t very good at understanding how he’s an emotional person. he’s able to distinct one feeling from another and analyze them, but it’s just... hard for him to kind of. process WHY he feels a certain way? which is what’s led to a lot of his struggles in getting closer with ppl

he loooves reading and writing we already know this but i mean come on. he also got a bachelor’s degree in english/ela. so he’s able to become a teacher ig but he doesn’t really want to? at least not for awhile yet

blue was ems’ first friend. at first he couldn’t understand why they had tics but decided he shouldn’t get into someone else’s business. he didn’t find it weird, just cool!

he and red would always pair up for projects if they had classes together!!!!!! blue would do the writing/research and red would do the illustrations. they always turned out really good even if it ended with red cramming it at the last minute

surprisingly hates broseph more than red. well i mean its not surprising, because broseph was always a huge DICK to him

blue’s real name is wyatt!!!!! i forget the meaning but i felt the sound of it and the meaning fit him well

piiiiink!!!!!!!!!!

she’s still in college, getting her doctorate to be an astrophysicist!

pink is very very smart and will help anyone who’s struggling with something in school. she was basically the genius who always got in the honor roll every year. but, she actually was really anxious especially with exams

pink encourages stacey to go back to school, and sometimes stacey does, but she always ends up leaving again. it’s a little stressful but pink has hope for her

she’s never drank one sip of alcohol in her entire life. she smoked weed once, but it felt weird so she didn’t do it again

ever since she and blue broke up she’s been very supportive of him bc she herself is bisexual!!! so she sees nothing weird about it. in fact, about almost a year later she started dating stacey

pink’s real name is lily. when she became friends with blue she met red through him and she was like “can i join your nickname thing” and they said “sure” so they called her pink. stacey sometimes calls her pinky or just pink but mostly lily

pink helped red with academics. even tho he was sometimes insufferable to work with (/j thats a Joke i promise she’s a very patient person) she didn’t give up on him!!!! in return he helped her out with some fitness stuff cuz pink was always insecure about gym, and later when she graduated she actually got into exercising bc of red!

she loves travelling and going for walks. she owns a lot of houseplants and she’s given them all names and takes very good care of them! she also owns an albino ball python named Velvet

STACEYYY!!!!!!!

stacey is nOT actually all about sex this time ok. i don’t like that. i mean she did have some personality in canon but it wasn’t much? anyways she just really likes to express herself thru tight/”risque” clothing like fishnets and leather and pleated skirts and thigh-highs and platform boots, all of that. basically she’s a goth girl but doesn’t really “act” like one

she’s really intelligent when it comes to animals and insects and will tell you anything you need to know. when she goes back to college she gets a degree in environmental science

stacey can play the electric and bass guitars!!!! she was in a band back in high school but it never really went anywhere beyond performances at parties in someone’s garage. not that she didn’t like it, looking back on it makes her feel happy, but she wished it continued. probably why she has a hard time going back to college bc she’s not sure what she really wants

stacey is a trans woman btw!!!!! unfortunately it was a little difficult in high school to be who she was bc some kids were jerks, but there were a lot of others who supported her which is good

she views red as her brother as well and they still hang out a lot

i haven’t really had time to focus on stacey and make headcanons and stuff for her so i don’t have a lot but... let’s say, secretly, she’s a scifi nerd. and for the sake of debate, let’s say she’s a marvel fan. if you count being a fan of deadpool as being a fan of marvel

LOVES GIRLS.... loves pink!!!

has very similar music taste to red’s!!!!!

emssss!!!!!!! (lt)

instead of being a stereotype of ppl with tourette’s syndrome, it’s just a normal thing that isn’t focused on a whole lot. it doesn’t make ems swear but if they get really really frustrated they’ll curse while doing one of their tics

ems is agender, i’d say they’re also ageless but i don’t really want to make them too “nonhuman” because i feel like that’s dehumanizing to people with tourette’s. so let’s just say most laws of existence don’t apply to them

they’re very friendly!

they’re an aspiring musician, just like in canon

ems is also big into horror movies believe it or not. they’re pretty critical of them though like most horror movie fans, and only like specific ones (i’m not a horror movie fan myself so i can’t say what Specific Ones they like ajsdhbjn just imagine they have good taste okay)

they r very artsy too and like doing crafts cause it gives them something to focus on. it’s just a hobby though it’s not something they’re Professional at

they love nature and flowers and trees and all kinds of plants and animals!!! they like to document what they see when they travel thru nature and stuff so they bring a camera with them (and their phone, but, you know whatever)

ems was never really affected by things people said to them regarding their syndrome. to them it was something they were born with, so they couldn’t bother to feel bad about themselves. in certain situations theyre able to control it but 90% of the time they don’t care about what ppl think

aaaand there u go!!! as for minor characters like raccoon, jason/trollz0r, broseph, dingleberry, they all exist (raccoon isnt a racist stereotype tho), i just dont focus on them a whole lot. most of my hcs for stacey and ems here were thought up on the spot since i havent had time to lay out all my ideas for them but i hope what i have here is good !!!!

also, red and blue ARE dating, and pink and stacey ARE ALSO dating. gay rights

[conspiracieys-archive]

dusan nemec, but as a supervillain. what powers would he have, where would his base be, how would he keep his secret identity if he has on, what would his super suit look like, etc.

hmmmmmm..... this is a good ask! well... let's see. long as usual so i tried to cut it under a read more (but u know mobile tumblr doesnt WORK so im sorry)

his secret identity. he keeps it secret really well, just because he's got a real good poker face and he also doesnt attack, like, places that can be traced back to him. (the exception is the DedSec hq, assuming in this au theyre the superheroes in parallel to him)

but the hq thing is covered by the fact that there ARE a lot of anti-dedsec people ANYWAY (bc there's always gotta be a few ppl who just hate the heroes). but also hacking is a commonplace thing nowadays and in the WD universe (and consequently this au), hacking is just... Insanely Huge? everyone and their mom seems to be a hacker, so if electronic fuckery happens, it's not GUARANTEED to be his fault ya know?

(also he has like... super enhanced intelligence as a ..power (see below) so like, it's not hard for him to come up w excuses or be tactical about when he does his Villainous Shit)

[ALSOOOOO -im writing this after ive written almost everything else sry- he doesn't like..... reveal he has powers. to the world, Dusan Nemec is just an incredibly good coder and he's just got a genius intellect. but his Villain flaunts his powers and takes pride in what he can do.

so it's like "Well, Dusan, do what that villain did" and Dusan sits down and like, painstakingly writes line after line of code to try and mimic the effects of his technopathy but he can't do everything technopathy can. so it's really hard to pin it on him. ppl still suspect though. they always suspect.]

--

POWERSSSSSSSS. i was gonna save this for last but then i realized: his primary power is technology manipulation. the good guys with this power would be technopaths, but he LIKES the phrase 'technology manipulation' because Dusan likes to be able to manipulate things... people... technology... to do whatever he wants.

so like before he came into his power of technopathy, he was still really, really good with coding. he'd never admit to having hacked things before working w ctos, but he has. and then... [insert backstory here] and now he can bypass the need to code and just ... MAKE ctos respond to him. he can pull up any surveillance cam at will, he can access any file remotely (we will address this in the Super Suit section), he can hack the traffic lights, he can just... do anything.

and w his personality, THAT is what makes him a supervillain.

if you don't have ctos or blume devices in your house, he bypasses ALL of it and forces Blume and ctos software to install. hell, your sexy Samsung smart fridge? literally now it's just been forcefully turned into a Blume fridge. w his remote access he can just turn any phone he passes into a ctos phone. like only another technopath (DedSec - technopathy would be one of the biggest requirements to get into the core of DedSec) can prevent Dusan's abilities from infecting and destroying and essentially controlling their technology.

he also has slightly superpowered intellect. which i think is a stupid ability but also i'm giving it to him anyway cuz he's considered a genius within the wd universe. so why not throw in the fact that his mind itself, aside from technopathy, has been quite altered and has significantly more improved functioning than the rest of us.

and lastly he does have an Eidetic memory. which isn't rly a superpower by itself but in combination w superpowered intellect and technopathy makes it an asset to his power set, ya know?

he can and will remember exactly who has ctos installed, who doesnt, if he had to do it or if they were willing, etc.

and he definitely remembers every little tidbit he finds abt DedSec

--

ok so since we've established he's a technopath now, and we know there are weird basement levels of Blume's HQ, at least 3 rooms are just HIS to use. like no one, not even another technopath, can access them. just bc he has Blume HQ fortified to the nines. i mean DedSec could probably TRY and maybe succeed at getting into Blume HQ itself but like, they won't get into his underground base.

like no one knows that three rooms off of the server rooms are even... there? he's got sexy hidden doors. like false servers?? where to the eye they look and glow and flicker like proper servers but they're secret doors. legit no one knows they EXIST much less how to GET TO THEM. his HQ is, like, solid af

--

super suit. ok like the main thing is he has a helmet. like.... a fitted full head helmet w tinted tempered glass in the screen. it's all black on the outside, and like nice cushy fuckin memory foam on the inside (sleek and black too ofc) and the visor is also a computer. (remote access!)

his base outfit is a black fitted body suit that is also, like, technologically fitted?

i just want it to be glowy ok?? he also has it programmed so that when he uses his technopath abilities and channels them thru his hands, his finger tips light up bc he's just That Bitch.

in theory his helmet visor/screen could emote like Wrench's mask

over his body suit, he has like. ok bear with me but like. skinny black sweats? they're not super tight or super loose. they sit low on his hips and end mid calf. i love Dusan and i love his sweats ok. he wears them always i'm trash.

also he's stupid and has shoes build into his body suit basically? like they're really nice and have good support and they're just... part of the body suit.

no he does not wear anything over the top of his bodysuit. also obvs the body suit is like, from his chin to his toes, w long sleeves and gloves as well.

his glowy bits are like, sleet and soft grey.

it's gotta be weird cramming his dumb beard into his suit and helmet but he does it. for fashion and to give away as little as possible in regards to his identity.

oo also he has like a speaker in his helmet that works as a voice scrambler. so it's like. even harder to trace to him, and w his technopathy he can change the scrambler at will.

like deadass one time he attacks DedSec he makes his voice scrambler sound EXACTLY like Wrench and it's shaking.

he doesn’t have any visible logos, just cool tech-y lines down his sides, arms, and legs. probably his back too? by tech-y lines i mean the kind you see on microchips and stuff.

--

ok let's talk abt weaknesses bc i rambled abt how GOOD his technopathy is.

but bc of his superior intellect, and just based on canon stuff, Dusan is... like the ULTIMATE stereotyped villain in that he just... loves to Monologue.

so it's easy to drop a virus into his system if you just keep him talking.

like say he's showin down w DedSec and he has all but Marcus tied up and he's gettin ready to kill Marcus but Marcus gets him monologuing so, like, Wrench can use his own technopathy to manipulate a virus into Dusan's suit.

the thing is, Dusan is aware 99% of the time. he's aware of his suit's system. he's aware of how his system connects back to Blume HQ and his private offices off the server room. he's aware 99% of the time of everything

but when Marcus fucking Holloway plays dumb as a box of rocks, Dusan Nemec canNOT help but mockingly explain things to him. and Marcus is used to ppl thinking lesser of him, so it's really easy to play it up until...

WELL, YA KNOW???

n Marcus fucking BOOKS IT to save DedSec while all sort of DS imagery is popping up on Dusan’s visor screen and Ode to Joy but, ya know, the DedSec version all loud and violent, is BLARING into his ears and he cant THINK and he’s scrambling and by the time he can get his brain to focus and force out the virus, DedSec is gone

(he never learns, either. but sometimes it’s Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture or some shit. it’s always a different violent crescendo of a classical song, ok? he never ever learns but he comes to DESPISE classical music.)

that’s like, his biggest weakness. he can’t help but, well, mansplain when he thinks he’s better than everyone in the room (which is always) and someone asks a stupid question. he’s such a jerk in canon, and this au/concept makes it worse bc he has like, veritable proof that his brain is more capable than others.

--

and, for the grand finale of this answer, Dusan Nemec’s Super Villain name...

i have NO FUCKING CLUE. here are some options:

the Coder, the Hacker, MicroGhost??? bc he like... can come and go like a ghost??? microchip, fantasy name gen just gave me Incognito which is so stupid i love it??? idk give me suggestions.

tysm for the ASK. let’s get back on this DUSAN SHIT

[musubiki]

Hc about conflictedshipping visiting another region? Sinnoh maybe???? Love your work ❤️!!!

hoOOOOOOO BOI LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THEIR TRIP TO KALOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

➞

im making it MANDATORY THAT THEY TOOK A SEMESTER ABROAD IN KALOS DURING THEIR TRAINERS SCHOOL TIME

(also this is where that one line of diaglouge in xy comes from. that one chick who tells you that green was there studying and only ever said smell ya later)

i was thinkin about giving them pokemon for this trip but. i think its better if their first pokemon come from prof oak later.

(gd i wish pom and vee were here for this that wouldve been amazing)

when they first got there leaf was worried that he was irritated he had to spend the whole semester with her there. he kinda scoffed and smirked at her and said something like “Are you kidding? I’d be angrier if you DIDN’T get the scholarship.” cuz they’re rivals. and he expects no less from her. he tells her something like its bad for his image if his rival isnt as good as him. he’s actually kinda happy that she’s there with him and he’s not gonna be all alone. 

this actually makes leaf really happy and kind of. sets the mood for the whole trip there

so they end up staying with this older couple who live in the heart of lumiose city and usually house the students every year. ofc they’re thrilled tho have leaf and green there. the wife owns a bakery/cafe and the husband works at the docks down in coumarine city. as a condition of them staying there, leaf helps with the bakery and green helps at the docks

when they first go there. they find out that. the kalos school doesnt require uniforms and theyre both kind of “???? so you just wear whatever??” greens perf fine with this but leafs kind worried bc she didnt bring THAT much clothes, so the couple takes both her and green shopping for kalos-style clothes. this is where leaf gets this outfit from and she LOVES IT shes adorable i love her so much

when green first sees her in it hes a little surprised because WOW what. “shes actually. kind of ok looking.” hes blushing shut up you idiot 

so they get to their new school and everyone intrigued by them oooo new transfer students whaaaat??? green right off the bat is all confident and doing his usual thing. winks at like 3 girls and they’re all fawning over him first thing.

but the school is very welcoming to them!! they get a lot of transfer student from all over the place so they have a lot of different people from different places!!

they actually have a pretty good time. a lot of the kids from school drop by the bakery just to. see leaf. same with the girls for green and business is good. amen. the couple is actually shook because they have so many profits

on weekends they get to go see kalos!!! its pretty.,. nice actually like esp traveling to like cyllage and laverre and anistar(leaf loves anistar city) 

and green is actually really enjoying theyre time there. it kind of feels like.,. dates.,. kind of.,. and he never voices it and STILL ACTS LIKE A JERK BUt.,. spending time with her here in kalos is actually kinda cool,,. we should do this more often, he thinks

they go to all the little cafes and explore that big mansion with the gardens, they actually get to go rollar skating around a couple times and ride gogoats like they live kalos life to the fullest

sometimes when they study at night he goes to her room and just chills with her on her bed (she has a huge bed and it’s really comfortable compared to his). they take turns reading the material out loud and leaf. really likes it when he reads she just lays there and stares at him and he. has a great voice shes dying a little here guys //

leaf always felt a little bit homesick. once when they were chilling in her bed she asked green if he missed home. he kinda sat there for a bit before answering with a “no, not really. it’s actually kind of nice to get away from everyone. there no real pressure to be anyone or do anything.” 

she wasnt exaclty sure what he meant but lowkey. he was actually talking. about her and him. because in kanto they’ve been rivals for so long it’d be weird to hang out with her and go see places like they do there. but no one in kalos really know them so hes just.,. ehuhhhhhh i dont wanna go home

okay ANOTHER THING THAT HAPPENED IN KALOS WAS THIS: at some point, one of the students at their school fell desperately in love with leaf and she. didn’t even like him at all. like he was just some persistent rich creep so yes. im doing this. no one can stop me. to get him to give up she asked green to pretend to be her boyfriend for like. a day or two just so he’d leave her alone. 

OFC GREENS LIKE SMIRKING THE WHOLE TIME SHES ASKING HIM THIS AND SHES BLUSHING AND EMBARRASSED BUT SHES TRIED EVERYTHING ELSE. 

greens actually a little irritated by this and is kinda ehh at first because. he doesnt wanna fool around and then actually catch feelings by accident (he doesn’t want to temp god like this hes already enjoying their time together) 

but shes. desperate and so after a few more pleads he.,. agrees and she kind of feels bad. so she apologizes for dragging him into this and then. she asks him “Can…can you handle it?” she didn’t mean it as an insult or anything she MEANT ARE YOU COMFORTABLE ENOUGH TO DO IT

but what HE HEARD was a CHALLENGE so he just. stops. and turns to her. and he grabs her by her waist and pulls her REAL close to him and leans in and just “Can you?” with the widest smirk and like. the sexiest voice. and she just becomes this blushing terrible mess and shes stammering over all her words and he just fokijnff laughs because god. this is gonna be fun. 

fhjkf this is horrible okay so. the next day at school ofc hes true to his word so here we go. they pretend like theyre going out. and its the biggest scoop of the whole place. girls are crying, teachers are shocked. in the distance, sirens.

green is a pro at this bc he teases her enough as is, now he just needs to take it a little further and he’s actually enjoying the reactions he’s getting from her. like he can fuckin gently grab her hand and she turns into a mess like why did i ask him to do this i am an idiot

when they get home that night green is just laughing his ass off because she., is terrible at this and he cant believe it. she makes up some excuse and after some banter and making fun of her, green tells her that if she really wants this to look convincing, she gotta get better control over it. hes smirking the whole time. so she gets even more flustered and asks if he has any great ideas, to which he replies yes.

lets practice, he says. and she if confused and honestly a little scared. she asks how and he actually. sighs and sits down in front of her and for once, is actually smiling instead of smirking. so he adds a “Don’t freak out.” before,. gently taking her hands in his. 

shes trembling and takes a deep breath before lacing her fingers with his and this. actually turns into a nice kind of moment. the whole time hes watching her eyes. and he can see shes still nervous so he tells her. “How about we pretend like… we’re actually together for a while.” 

and shes blushing like hell because oh my god shes liked him for so long and this is so nice with him but it actually hurts a little that its not real

so he,. slips his hands around her waist and pulls close and presses her against him and slowly nuzzles his nose in her hair 

and hes. actually kind of enjoying this. 

and this feeling boils in the pit of his stomach as his lungs fill with the scent of her hair and it sends shivers over his skin and he feels his hands tracing over the small of her back and the warmth of her body on his and through the foggy blurry haziness in his head the only thought that comes out is ‘Oh no.’

and then BAM one of their caretakers slams the door open with a “Hey kids, dinner is ready!” and green IMMEDATLY grabs her arms and pushes her away and his face his red. She responds with a shocked quiet “Oh, I hope I wasn’t inturrupting-” 

and they BOTH CUT HER OFF STAMMERING AND STUTTERING WITH “No it wasn’t what it looks like-!” “We were just- uh- practicing-!” “FOR THE SCHOOL DRAMA COMING UP-” “YEAH-” and shes just. giggling and a little surprised with an “Oh! Could’ve fooled me!” before she leaves. 

and green and leaf are just standing there in awkward silence and leaf is rubbing her arm while green is rubbing the back of his neck and she leaves with a brisk “I-I think we should go get dinner-” before they both go downstairs

the next day it turns out that rich creep was too heartbroken from seeing her with green the day before that he transfered schools entirely, so oh, I guess we don’t need to keep up the act anymore, and green answers with a yeah, cool, and ignores the small feelings of disapointment and covers it up by going back to his usual snarky self 

he forces himself not to think about this for a long time because he doesnt wanna get caught up in the feels. Leaf, however, thinks about it all the time because it was really nice, but green doesnt bring it up and they were just pretending anyway hes just used to being a flirt it wasnt a big deal for him

(it was)

that was the first time theyd ever been that close and also. the last time until saffron

they have a lot of adventures here that i cant. fit it all here but they had a really good time

[blxebxy-spxcemxn]

SO HERE’S THE IDEA’S THAT ME AND @stcrmclcud got done

Some sort of game,, idk yet,,, doesn’t know their inside one

Different problems for each character (Missing parts, glitching parts, + parts they don’t need ect )

Idk why but. Stan as some kind of stitched Frankenstein’s Monster-esque furry.

Just. a fucking DOG with different parts. And it’s Stan.

Kenny has,,, skeleton bits MAybe,,

Cartman cld have like. An error or glitch on one of his eyes, kind of in reference to the many theories that he has Kenny’s eye??

Sobs idc if my girl heidi isnt in the au but. If she is. Flowers. She’s just covered in flowers. Any blemishes she has. Flowers.

Craig possibly is rather glitches out around the eye and a few other spots around his body

Frozen @ some point in the game and can not pass that said part

Missing File.exe

Missing background in some places, that and or rather glitched up and hard to see

Moments of g l itching,,,

Are. Are we allowed to let Ken pull a sans and know they’re in a fucking game bc his file keeps getting more and more corrupted (hence his body having skeleton bits; he rots more and more after it gets corrupted). He warns everyone so they cld do something abt it bc eventually he will fade away or disappear.

Tweek’s voice is fucked up, possibly has a third eye behind all his hair

RANDY IS NOT IN THIS AU,, His file was deleted a whole while back due to him knowing too much and yada yada, No randy

Kyle probably doesn’t have a mouth lol,, Its more glitched than anything

Butters missing his eye’s, blind boy

“LETS PLAY”

Creek? In my au?? NO THANK YOU

SOBS

Token probably doesn’t exist sorry,,

Jimmy has no legs sadly,, Missing in his files

Very tempted to make eric behind the whole thing

He probably is honestly,,

Tbh i really like the idea of Eric having alters, and since this is more of a glitch kinda game? He cld shapeshift into them. Mitch Conner, the more prominent one, is just a bald guy with the SAME eye glitch as eric.

Gotta add scott tenorman to the game because I love him, Possibly half human half robot type shit

Clyde ….. Died, more than likely, Possibly before the glitched happen, causing Craig to be more bumbbed out then usual...Craig probably wears his Jacket

I want Jimmy,,,, to wear Token’s sweater around his waist. Bc now that you mention it, the same thing cld happen to Token too :0

Fuck I think the idea of the characters all looking super surreal pre-corruption, kinda like the npcs of Yume Nikki- i just. Gfdnmmbhfbhghg pls. hOLD ON LEMME JUST-

KINDA LIKE THEM. wait im gonna send a clearer version to you in dms

Lots of secrets, lots of secrets,,,

What if, like in ddlc, Cartman cld put shit in ur game files. Or the characters cld.

A lot of it is just. Cries for help.

Insert a drawing kenny made of himself (skeleton with a fucking 2 foot dong) and the rest is just. Crass handwriting saying “PLEASE HELP ME I’LL DIE AT THIS RATE” or smth.

The game has a dark sense to it, not having very much lighting, the ora around the whole place is dark and mostly everyone isn’t so happy

Cartman thought the place was a little TOO happy so that’s why he probably did it, wanting full control over the whole place and by that he’d need to make the town dark and shit so they’d throw out the mayor and that.

Most of the girl’s files are missing, but everyone knows them….you just can’t see them

Oof to reference Heidi’s “quitting [twitter]”,,, whenever Heidi’s mentioned the words ‘Quitter’ appear so it’s a rule that no one talks about her.

What im trying to say is she voluntarily deleted her own file.

SHE KILLED HERSELF, MAN.

Craig is more emotionless than ever

RUBY?? IDK HER. KAREN ETHER

Everyones just DEAD MAN.

Idk how it happened theyre just gone.

Eric ‘ the hacker ‘ Cartman

Cartman you Big Blubbery Bitch

Sometimes really high pitched screaming happens but everyones used to it so its okay

Part of why theyre used to it is because tweek screams at the same pitch as the other ringing screams so they cant tell

What if at

Eric probably got Heidi to help him delete everyone’s Files, Possibly blackmailing her with someone of some sorts ( idk rn ) and forced her to delete files and that’s when she also deleted herself not going to be able to stand knowing she did it

If craig or kenny or either one says her name enough the writing “please don’t. I don’t wanna come back” will be written among a bunch of “quitters” overlapping and making this big fucking patch of whatevers. A conversation can probably be initiated from there.

Only Craig and kenny remember Heidi

The game probably disappears after a while because of so many files being deleted the game won’t run properly and will be forced to shut down...aka ALL FILES are deleted. So MC or NEW KID has to fix that?? And stop Cartman bringing everyone back ( But clyde cause he died before the glitch )

It all looks like peaches and cream at first (the scenery), esp while new kid roams through, and then they meet the first character and their monstrous appearances.

Wld this game be in FIRST person or third like the south park games,,

Third person

clyde glitches in and out of the world but since his file is gone. dead. destroyed for good and it really fucks with craig's mind bc he shouldn't even be here

OOOOO WHAT IF THE NEW KID CLD CHOOSE THEIR DESIGN LIKE IN THE OTHER GAMES

But you CANT be normal looking.

So like. Theres animal bits ummmmmm glitches,,,, your SKIn can be like. Really fucky.

Some characters don’t even have color to them, their just bland gray’s whites and blacks

If by chance bebe is in there,,, she probably has eyes all over her. In reference to people looking at her. Looking at her for too long results in a jumpscare of her shaking in tears and the words “PLEASE DON’T LOOK AT ME” appearing for like a split second. This is more likely to happen if you’re not engaging in conversation with her. (FUCK YES)

Kenny’s a filthy BODY PART THIEF

He steals ppls limbs so like he has his own skeleton-ish arms and then like four other ones

New kid having the option to hurt the people they meet

And Craig’s just like ‘ Nope ‘,, You choose the wrong people to hurt and Criag’s gonna get cha

[constel-langst-ions]

Double Trouble

Guys I seriously have no knowledge on 99.9 percent of the topics I write. It’d be very appreciated if you all told me. Thanks!

—

Lance sat on his bed, staring at his legs. Pale beige with a white patella, back of knee, toes, even the heel and ball of his foot. Or prosthetic foot. Thin, black lines indicated where the pieces were wired together. Despite not looking all that advanced, they were. He could walk normally. Even his nerves had been connected. They took up most of his legs, he noted, since he only had a few inches of what was left od his thighs still there. Part of it went up and hugged his waist, so he could easily slip it under clothing. So, thats how his team never knew about them. Not even Hunk. He only changed when Hunk was asleep or he’d change in the bathroom.

He’d do anything to make sure they didn’t know- he didnt want a pity party-, even if it meant hiding. But not everything can be kept a secret, can it?

—

It was 2:37am, according to the castle time. Lance was still completely wide awake. He decided it was a good time to work out a bit, as he knew everyone was asleep; he’d even checked their rooms. Lance absolutely could not afford them finding out.

He made his way to the training room, shirtless, a towel around his neck. He had asked Coran earlier how to modify it as a makeshift gym, and the older Altean had gladly taught him.

Now Lance stood in front of a control panel, tapping pictures that faintly resmebled equipment he had used on Earth to build his upper body strength. He added a few things, including a pullup bar, weights that ranged between 5 and 50 pounds, a heavy bag,n inja walking poles, and a rope hanging from the ceiling. He used all of these to help become stronger over the years, thankful for his family’s ability to grant him the much needed equipment.

He sat down below the pullup bar first, unfasteneinf his legs and setting them to the side. He was wearing female training shorts, not wanting to get longer ones, since he dislikes tying the cloth. These were much better, and they fit snuggly. Fittingly, they were black with the blue paladin volton symbol on the sides. He placed his hands on the sides, and with a grunt, started climbing up. Admittedly, it took longer, as it had been a while since he did it last. Finally, he reached the pull bar and wrapped his fingers around it. Suddenly realizing his music, he hung by one hand and reached for his phone, which was attached to his arm with a black armband. He hit play, and out the music blasted through the wireless headphones.

He started doing chin-ups, muttering out loud each one. “One, two, three, four, five..” He huffed out, urginf himself to push as far as he possibly could. Finally, when he felt his fingers become sore, he placed his hands back on the sides and started making his way down. After a moment, he sat on the ground, and wiped the sweat from his face with the back of his hand. He took a few sips of water, which he thankfully left by his legs, before started to awkwardly crawl to the next training piece, the ninja walking poles. To be fair, they were mainly used for walking, not working on his acrobats skills but hey, whatever it took to not be a burden.

He stopped at the shortest one and pulled himself onto it. He flipped his body up so his hands were around the flat surface, on his palms. He had his arms straightened, his head up so he could see straight ahead. Slowly, he lowered himself, then pushed himself back up. He repeated the movement, gradually getting faster. He moved to the next one, copying the excersise from before. However, it was more wobbly. He had his upper body partially bent, so if he had legs- the thought caused him to chortle- they’d be close to his head. He wished he had them, though, because he was flexible. It would’ve been fun.

But, oh well, it wasn’t his fault that he had been born without them. Defect caused in the womb, his family was told.

It also wasn’t his fault that he didn’t notice the team in the training room doorway.

—

The team had woken up, all of then feeling something empty within their bones. Specifically, Pidge had been awake at the time, but that wasn’t important. They had all exited their rooms, save for Lance, who they noticed was absent from the little party in the hallway. Yawning, and all in their pajamas, they all made their way down the hallway, stopping in front of the training room. They could hear thumps from inside, as well as grunts from who theyre sure was Lance. The lights were bright, and as the door slid open, their jaws dropped.

Lance, with no legs. Lance, in female training shorts. Lance, with his prosthetics on the wall. Lance, balancing on primal walking poles, balancing on one hand.

Lance, to Keith’s embarrassment, looked hot.

—

Lance slowly leaned back, tightening his grip on the top part of the pole so he wouldn’t put too much weight to the side and fall. Gradually, he lowered himself until he could sit on the primal pole, a tall one.

He rested his stub on the other one to keep his balance. Still having the towel around his neck, he wiped his sweat from his forehead. He rubbed his eyes, becoming sleepy.

He heard a noise to his right, and all but screamed.

Before Lance knew it, he was lying flat on his back on the training room floor, the metal nice against his warm skin. The pole he had been on was still teetering from when he had fallen.

He blinked, looking up. His teams faces were over him worried.

“Oh..”

Lance muttered a curse, grappling to sit up. The team gave him space, but still, they stared. Lance didnt like it one bit, no sir. Actually, he despised it. He waa cloose to having a fit of panic, he was so anxious. But he calmed himself. His team wouldnt hurt him, he knew that. So, ever so calmly, he crawled to his prosthetics and slipped then on, slightly raising his shorts to fit them properly. The team only watched, dumbfounded, as he stood, and gave a few text kicks.

Lance looked at then, and shot a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “So, I know you have questions, but please refrain. Yes, I have prosthetics. No, I wasn’t an amputee. I was born without legs, a defect. And yes, my prosthetics and expensive and one of the kind. So Pidge, that means you can’t tinker with them. ‘K?” He rested a hand on his hip, out of breath from his short speech.

They all nodded, the shock still visible on their faces. Only Coran wasn’t phased, his following words making everyone giggle.

“Wait, I was supposed to believe you had legs? My, it waa obvious with your first trip into the pod!” The Altean announced.

They laughed. It was funny, actually.

It lightened the mood, too.

Maybe, just maybe, Lance would open up to them more.

No more secrets.