#maybe I'll try to start taking more who knows
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it’s beginning to look a lot like christmas — QH43
pairing: quinn hughes x fem!reader
warnings: fluff, bit of a rushed ending sorry, not proofread!!
inspired by: “it’s beginning to look a lot like christmas” by bing crosby [1.2k]
a/n: a quick one for boyfriend quinn appreciation
it was a rare quiet day in the middle of the season, quinn who was usually surrounded by the hustle and bustle of hockey life, found himself sitting beside you in the warm glow of holiday lights, the smells of cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger filled the air, mixing with the sound of soft christmas music playing in the background.
you'd been to the store earlier in the week, a gingerbread house kit lay spread out on the kitchen table to welcome him home from the road game in carolina, your niece's expectant eyes looking up at the pair of you as the pieces game in their own neatly placed bags, you and quinn shared a look of hesitation.
"this is way more complicated than it looks," was the first thing he said, peering at the instruction booklet with a playful grimace, eyeing up your niece's miniature house which was going a lot better than yours. his hair, slightly messier than usual, hinted at the fact that he had been running his hands through it in frustration, dark strands falling in front of his face. you laughed softly, enjoying the moment of calm in an otherwise busy season, and even off the ice he was just as competitive. (even if it was against a 9 year old)
"i thought you were good at building things," you teased, taking a sip from one of the hot chocolate you'd made for the three of you, choosing to take a step back from the building business as it was getting a big heated. "you're an athlete, you know... strategy, precision, focus?" you gave him a wink.
quinn grinned, his eyes lighting up in that characteristic way that always made you smile. "i play hockey, not architect. but i'm willing to try. you're the one with all the crafting experience, right?"
you raised an eyebrow at his suggestion, the most building you'd ever done in your life was a science fair project when you were 11, and even then your dad had built the majority of it. "crafting experience? skylar's got more crafting experience with me, she still does homework."
"alright, alright, I'll admit it," he said, grinning, the little girl beside them too busy already decorating her gingerbread house to care about what you had been saying. "maybe I need your help after all."
he reached for the frosting bag with a dramatic sigh, and you couldn't help but laugh as skylar's first order of business was to take the icing out of his hands. "read the instructions first," she said, flipping the booklet open and starting to explain the steps.
quinn looked at the pieces in front of him, tempted to give up and just eat the gingerbread, but that wasn't his nature, squinting like he was trying to figure out the lines on a hockey rink for the first time again. "wait, do you put the roof on first, or the walls?"
"okay, we need to build the base first. that's the most important part," you said, guiding him through it, looking to skylar for approval and she nodded, adding sweets onto her own now. "if the walls don't stay up, it's game over."
with a bit of teamwork, and an insane amount of luck that neither of you bumped into the table, you two managed to assemble the walls, and quinn was about to put the roof on before an idea struck him.
"so, are we going for traditional?" he asked, his tone suggesting he had something else in mind as he eyed the candy decorations, almost as if he was a real interior designer planning the layout for their house. "or... are we going for something a little more creative? like... a hockey rink gingerbread house?"
you raised an eyebrow at the suggestion, of course he would say that, you loved the man but sometimes you swore hockey was the only thing on his mind. "hockey rink? you've got to be kidding. i’m surprised you aren’t dying to get away from your job."
but quinn was already pointing out ideas, his mind running with possibilities, the coloured icing they could use to represent the teams, the different positions they should put in. "what if we add little gingerbread players with tiny sticks? and like, a frosting rink with icing lines?" he was grinning now, clearly enjoying the process way more than he'd let on, enjoying the design park much more than he had the building part.
"you're impossible," you spoke through a laugh, his enthusiasm something you loved about him and couldn't help but let you get in the spirit too.
together, you piped out a frosting rink on the base of the house decorated little gingerbread men with icing and tiny candies, making them into the most chaotic-looking hockey players you'd ever seen, some with more lopsided faces than the others. quinn insisted on adding mini pucks made of chocolate chips.
skylar had also finished her house, adding the final touches the one you and quinn had made too, her a candyland inspired design with sweets lining the road and covering the house.
as the arena started to take shape, you felt a warmth that wasn't just from the hot chocolate on the counter. it was from the way his eyes lit up with every silly detail he added, down to the numbers on the jerseys that his teammates wore.
by the time you were both done, the gingerbread house hockey arena—although a little uneven and very unconventional—was something to be proud of. it was uniquely yours, and in that moment, it was perfect. beside it sat the little actual gingerbread house your niece has made, edible glitter covering the icing and pieces of sweets missing from where she'd eaten them.
quinn stepped back, inspecting your creation with an exaggerated squint. "i think we nailed it," he said, a satisfied smile spreading across his face.
you leaned back in your chair, your head falling to rest his shoulder, admiring the gingerbread arena too. "honestly, it might be a little off-center..." noticing how the roof sloped down on one side while the other held up, "but it sure can't be called basic."
quinn chuckled, sitting next to you. "i think that's what matters most."
#nhl#nhl fic#nhl imagine#nhl oneshot#nhl x reader#quinn hughes#quinn hughes imagine#quinn hughes fluff#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes fic#quinn hughes imagines#quinn hughes one shot#quinn hughes fanfiction#scudevils#ficmas 2024
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A knight second chance 6
Penny: *crying, clutching at Ruby, overwhelmed by the emotion she's processing*
Blake: *sigh* We won't get anything from her, she's a complete wreck. We should try searching for him.
Ruby: *looking up at Blake* And what about her? I can't just leave her alone.
Yang: *taking her scroll out* I'll call the school, see if they can drop bumblebee in Vale.
Weiss: *looking at Penny* What could have happened to leave her like that...
___________________________________________
Ironwood: *blinking* Penny disappeared?
Winter: We don't know exactly what happened but we believe an individual named Jaune Arc, a student from Beacon, was responsible for her sudden disappearance. The last video feed we received was of Penny trying to help said student during what seems to have been a PTSD episode.
Ironwood: *frown* PTSD you say? Not a panic attack?
Winter: *shaking her head* I... Saw enough soldiers and huntsmen to differentiate one from the others, sir. If anything, the students didn't seem to be aggressive, only... terrified.
Ironwood: I see... I'll ask the headmaster of Beacon for more information.
Winter: *saluting, leaving the room*
___________________________________________
Roman: *looking down at the teenager with a smirk* Well well, what do we have here? A stray dog perhaps?
Jaune: ... *Slowly looking up, smiling with dead eyes* You will die, Roman.
Roman: *laughing* And what makes you think i will-
Jaune: *cutting him, still smiling* Trivia, you, the White Fang, all working together with Cinder to bring Beacon down. What do you think will happen afterward?
Roman: *frowning* How did you-
Jaune: *Laughing, cutting him again* Know her name? Know you are working with Cinder? *Start walking toward Roman* Better yet, you should ask yourself how i know you were planning to attack the dock in 2 days.
Roman: *taking one step back, still trying to act as if it didn't surprise him* Maybe you are working with Cinder? It wouldn't be the first time she tried testing me. See if i'd break under pressure.
Jaune: *sees the little twitch in Roman's eyes, smile as if nothing bad could happen* Hush hush now, if you attack me, your umbrella might break~.
Neo: *jump backward, looking at Roman worriedly*
Roman: Tsk *goes to attack Jaune with Melodic Cudgel, but the knight easily grab the cane and aim it a Neo*
Jaune: *now in front of Roman* Tell me, Roman, are you afraid of Cinder? *Grabbing Roman by the suit, who was trying to jump away* Don't go, it's impolite to leave a conversation. *Smile genuinely* I'm not here to hurt you.
Roman: *trying to remove himself from the knight grasp* Let me go!
Jaune: *sigh, using his semblance to share his emotions with him* I need your help, Roman. You are a thief, not a killer. And if you continue like that, both you and Neo are going to die.
Roman: *Feeling the sincerity of Jaune* ... Neo, put your weapon down.
Neo: *aghast by the mere idea*
Roman: *shaking his head* It's ok Neo, trust me.
Neo: ... *Slowly put Hush on the ground, still weary of the teenager*
Jaune: *Releasing Roman with a satisfied smile* Good... Sorry for the way i was acting, but high emotional state help my semblance second effect.
Roman: *Sitting down on one of the stolen dust containers* ... *Take a cigarette from his pocket, light it and start smoking* Talk, we don't have all day.
Jaune: *nod and make signs for Neo to approach* Now... *Smile* Tell me, what is your favorite fairytale?
#jaune arc#rwby#rwby au#penny polendina#james ironwood#winter schnee#weiss schnee#blake belladonna#yang xiao long#ruby rose#neopolitian (rwby)#roman torchwick#a knight second chance
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We Liked Your Vibe
Pairing: Dieter Bravo x f!reader x Din Djarin
Words: 3.4 k
Rating: M (it's mostly smut folks)
Summary: Din promised Dieter to a threesome, and you have caught their attention.
Author: Mod Mouse (I know I'm not dead)
Note: Happy Holidays everyone! This is my gift to @guelyury for the secret santa exchange set up by @dieterbravobrainrotclub! Thank you @sp00kymulderrI for setting this up! I hope you enjoy your gift.
On another note, I hope to start getting back in the grove of writing. With the semester wrapped up and my life in general calming down, I hope to start posting fics again. I don't think it will be as often as I was (I can't believe I somehow put two fics a week out lol) But I'll figure out something that works. Anyways onto the smut!
“Oh what about that one?” Dieter asked excitedly, nodding in the direction of a goth looking person strolling up to the bar.
Din glanced up from his whiskey, the melting ice giving a small tink against the glass. His gaze took in the figure, but he shook his head. “Not that one. Came in with a partner.”
Dieter signed dramatically and slumped over the bar counter. Din slid his drink away to keep him from knocking it over. This wasn’t the first time tonight. “Diiiiiiiiin” Dieter whined. “That’s the third one you’ve said no to tonight.”
“Yes but all you’ve shown me are couples. I said they had to be single,” Din replied raising his highball glass to his lips.
Dieter stuck his tongue out at him before turning his head to survey the room. His dark eyes roamed the space once again. So many people with others. ‘Was no one single in the tristate area anymore?’ The thought crossed his mind and he sighed. Maybe it was just going to be him and Din tonight.
That was until you saddled up to the bar, seemingly with the weight on the world on your shoulders. Dieter’s head poked up as you ordered a shot of tequila. You sprinkled some salt on the crook of your thumb as the bartender set the glass in front of you. Quickly you lapped the salt up with one hand and down the shot in the other, the sting of the alcohol barely affecting you.
Without looking away, Dieter tugged on Din’s sleeve. “What about that one?”
Din sighed, only getting slightly fed up with his husband. But when his eyes took you in, something stirred in him. You were very attractive to say the least despite not trying too hard. The favorite shirt that you choose, more for comfort than for attraction, stuck to you in all the right places leaving Din with a nice outline to admire.
Din hummed which was the most approval he had given all night. Dieter smiled a big goofy grin and practically jumped from the barstool. Though he quickly straightened his outfit to make himself just a tad bit more presentable. Din followed soon and Dieter quickly grabbed his hand dragging the older man over.
You hadn’t noticed them approach, your mind wiring a thousand thoughts a second. It was only when you heard someone say “Ya know we saw you from across the bar and we like your vibe.” You glanced up and blushed as you took in the odd couple. One man dressed in what you would call disaster chic and the other in a very monochromatic but well put together fit.
You smirked. “You know this is a new one for me.”
The messy haired one tilted his head. “Oh and how's that?”
“Well you aren’t a middle aged straight couple who’s only way to save their marriage is to have a threesome,” You quipped.
That got a laugh from the shorter man. “We’re about as opposite as that.”
You raked your eyes over both of them smiling. “You can definitely say that.”
“Oh where are my manners? Let me introduce ourselves. I’m Dieter and this is my tall, dark and very handsome husband Din.”
Din held his hand to you and you graciously took it. The size difference from his hands against yours sent heat fluttering to your stomach. “It’s a pleasure to me you,” Din said, taking interest in your reaction.
“Uh yes um ditto,” You stuttered, still taken aback. “Too bad I’m not dressed up.” You mumbled to yourself.
Dieter chuckled. “It seems our friend here sees something she likes.”
“Hmmm? Oh um yes” You blushed quickly taking your hand back.
“So how about it? Want to see where else there's a size difference?” Dieter asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
Your eyes darted back and forth between the pair, but you shrugged your shoulders. “I actually would love that.”
Dieter’s eyes widened and he clapped his eyes excitedly. “Perfect.” He dramatically pointed to the exit. “Let us make haste and love!” He hurried towards the exit.
You couldn’t help, but giggle at the man’s antics. You hopped off the stool throwing a few ones onto the counter. “Is he always like this?” You asked Din who offered his arm to you which you gladly accepted.
“Always.” Din replied, and you followed the chaotic Dieter out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dieter talked the whole way home to their apartment. It wasn’t so bad. You sat in the back with him as Din drove, and Dieter basically went over all of the kinks he had and what they both were comfortable with. It wasn’t what you were expecting considering your past experiences, but you were thankful for it nonetheless. You laid out what you did and didn’t like to do which Dieter was very receptive too. After your check in, it wasn’t long until you were making out with Dieter, his hands roaming all of you and trying to pull you into his lap. You giggle as you carefully straddled his waist, bracing yourself on the door frame.
A low purr emanated from Dieter as he nuzzled his face into your clothed breasts. You couldn’t help but giggled as he motorboated against the fabric. With your free hand, you tangled your fingers into his curly hair, giving his scalp a gentle scratch. Dieter squeezed your hips making you squeak from the surprise. He smirked and snaked his hands up your stomach, sighing at your soft skin. You watched as he pushed up your shirt, licking his lips at the sight of your bare tits staring him right in his face.
He quirked an eyebrow at you. “I see you weren’t interested in the support tonight.”
You chuckled and kissed his forehead. “Nah, the girls needed to be free tonight.”
With both of his hands, Dieter gently grasped your breasts in his hands rolling his thumb gently over your peaking nipples. You gasped, pushing your chest forward needing more stimulation from his fingers. Dipping his head, Dieter lapped at your nipples, the chill from his drink still evident on his tongue. You shivered as he lapped at your peaks, loving the contrasting warm and cold feelings. Dieter chuckled, pausing his motions and nuzzling his cheek into your chest. Playfully he bounced your tits saying, “Well I can be their support.”
You giggled at his playfulness. “Unfortunately I can’t have you holding them 24/7.”
Dieter pouted. “But I wanna.”
You smooth his curls away from his forehead. “I’ll see what I can figure out.”
That returned Dieter’s smile. With one hand still on your breasts, he sneaked his other down your stomach once more sliding them into your pants. You gasped softly as his fingers toyed with the lacey straps. Dieter smirked. “And you said you weren’t dressed up.”
You blushed. “I wouldn’t consider underwear as dressing up.”
“On the contrary, sweetheart. I am always an advocate of showing off the fanciest of underwear.” He purred his fingers rubbed against your clothed clit. Slow delicate circles send a pulses of pleasure through your body. Soft pants escaped your lips and you pressed your head into his shoulder.
Dieter chuckled as he continued his motions, dragging his fingers all around your sensitive bits. His dark eyes caught Din’s in the rearview mirror and he smirked. “My love I believe your eyes stay on the road.”
All Din gave as a response was a grunt, but Dieter could tell how worked up Din was. Dieter chuckled to himself as they pulled into their long driveway, the car gliding over the smooth concrete. Din turned the car off, quickly unbuttoning his seatbelt and opening the driver side door. It only took a second for him to open the backseat and carefully pull you off of Dieters lap holding you in his arms.
You bit your lip as Din nuzzled his nose into your neck, his noticeable erection pressing into your stomach. “Oh and what was that about not paying attention?” Dieter teased, closing the car doors behind you. Din growled into your lips and Dieter rolled his eyes. “I’ll get the door”
Din followed Dieter up the driveway, the footsteps of Dieter’s crocs guiding him into the house. You weren’t paying attention. All of your focus was the taste of whiskey against Din’s soft lips. Quick pants escaped your lips as the warm air of the house hit your skin. Din bit your lips sliding his tongue into your mouth. Gasping your fingers tangled in his hair giving them a firm tug. Din moaned, his cock twitching inside his pants. You chuckled and nuzzled your nose into his stubbled cheek.
“Oh that’s such a nice sound.” Din blushed, dropping his gaze. You kissed his cheek leaning in close before saying, “I like hearing you moan.” That heard another twitch in his pants as he carried you into the bedroom.
With your attention focused on other things, you could finally take in the space where Din had carried you. A giant bed lay against the wall with the soft silken covers adorning the top. Memorabilia from Dieter’s collection lined the wall while Din’s areas stayed relatively minimalist. You wondered how such an odd couple ended up together.
But quickly your mind returned to the task at hand. As gently as handling an animal, Din set you in the middle of the bed. It only took a moment for him to crawl over you, encompassing you with his wide body. You bit your lips as your hands slid up his button shirt, feeling his muscles tensing under your touch.
“Mmmmm what a lovely sight you two are,” Dieter commented as he sauntered to the edge of the bed. He made himself at home by the pillows as he watched the show.
You blushed under the attention of the actor, but continued your focus on Din. Your fingers danced over the buttons, slowly opening them to reveal the skin underneath. The sight was utterly delicious and all you wanted to do was lick the saltiness as you made your way down.
With a slow pull of your hands, you touched every inch of Din’s torso earning gasps from the older man. By the time you reached the tops of his jeans, he was panting, his full erection pressing against the material. Slowly you caressed his cock, feeling the magnitude against your hand. “Shit you are big.” You said, licking your lips.
Just like his shirt, you undo the button, shifting the material down freeing his cock. It stood at attention with beads of precum already pooling on the head. With a finger, you traced the prominent vein up the shaft to the head where you gathered the precum against your finger. Curiously you brought it up to your lips, not breaking eye contact with Din as the saltiness coated itself over your tongue.
You moaned at the taste and you could hear Dieter chuckling beside you. “He tastes better than any cocktail.”
Humming in agreement you shifted yourself bringing your head closer to Din’s. But as you go to take his cock into his mouth, Din stops you with a gentle push on your shoulder. You look up, worried you did something wrong.
“I want to treat you since you were so kind to agree to this,” Din voiced, a soft pink blush on his cheeks.
You couldn’t help but blush in return. With these sorts of nights, you were lucky if the man ever went near your vagina with anything other than his cock. Din was such a considerate person that it was a shame this was only for one night. You nodded, returning back to your original position. With dexterous fingers Din pulled your pants along with the underwear off in one fluid motion. You shivered as the cool air hit your legs. Din stared at you with his dark brown eyes as he trailed slow kisses from your calf to your thighs until you could feel his breath against your wet lips.
“I’m gonna devour you, little flower,” Din purred.
Dieter rolled his eyes. “We all love your chivalrousness babe, but someone is also getting lonely. And I mean, she did want to blow someone.” Dieter commented and you couldn’t help but smirk.
With a playful roll of your head, you opened your mouth ready for Dieter’s cock. Dieter smiled pulling down the waist of his well loved yet fashionable sweatpants, his own erection popping out. You lifted your hand giving Dieter a few pumps before kissing the head. His own salty taste mixed with Din’s was like a cocktail of lust in your mouth.
That was when Din took the opportunity to take a long lick up your lips ending on a flick of his tongue on your clit. You gasped from the sudden pleasure, making you open your mouth. Dieter took the chance and slid the full length of his cock into your mouth. You gagged a little though taking no time to adjust to his size.
Dieter leaned back his head against the headboard. “S-Shit we should have found you faster.” He slowly thrusted into your mouth, your tongue swirling around and up the shaft. “D-Din we gotta keep her.”
Din hummed in agreement as he lapped at your clit. Sparks of pleasure tingled in your stomach, making you moan against Dieter’s cock. The full balls slapped against your throat as Dieter’s thrusts started becoming faster. Dieter cursed with each movement enjoying himself immensely. His gaze wandered down to watch Din as he continued to pleasure you like you were his last meal.
“Shit babe, leave some of that for me. She’s gonna need it when I cum inside her.” You moaned at the thought of his cock spilling his seed inside you. Dieter smirked his gaze meeting your eyes. “Is that something you want, doll?” He asked, his thumb tracing your cheek. You nodded the best you could, and Dieter slowly pulled out of your mouth, a trail of saliva connecting you two.
“You heard the cutie. I think it’s time for the ol’ Johnson to shine,” Dieter exclaimed excitedly as Din shifted away from you. It was your time to roll your eyes at the other man’s antics. Dieter maneuvered around getting on his hands and knees in front of you.
“You’re ridiculous,” You teased hands cupping Dieter’s cheeks and quickling kissing his lips.
“Uh ya ridiculously horny,” He replied with a cheeky smirk.
You threw your head back against the pillows, a loud laugh filling the room. “God you’re funny.”
Dieter glanced over his shoulder at Din who had kneeled behind him. “See, someone thinks I’m funny.”
“Just give it a few years,” Din teased back as he gently pulled a very fancy buttplug out of his husband. Dieter moaned at the lack of friction and you preoccupied him with your lips. He pushed for dominance against you, but you pushed back with just the same intensity.
Din set the butt plug aside and squirted a dollop of lube onto his palm. Carefully he applied the generous amount onto his cock and Dieter’s hole. A soft gasp escaped Dieter’s lips as he shuttered against the chilly material.
With a quick peck of the cheek, you said “Don’t worry. You’ll be warmed up in no time.” Dieter groaned at your words, his own cock twitching at the idea of being deep inside you. With a slow push, Din entered him a deep grumble vibrating his throat as he felt Dieter pulse around him. Dieter moaned, resting his head on your shoulder as he adjusted to his size.
Gently you twirled his curls around your fingers, your nails massaging his scalp. It only took him a moment for him to be ready. Dieter gently pumped his own cock adjusting his hips to meet yours. He guided his cock up and down your slit, your arousal coating the head. You both moaned at the feeling.
But Dieter grew impatient. With his hand he guided his cock to your hole, gathering up the wetness glistening between your legs. With an eager but still gentle push, he buried himself fully inside of you. The noise that escaped his lips was down right sinful as his legs shook from so much pleasure. Small pants flowed from your lips as you felt Dieter filling you to the brim with his cock. It twitched inside of you and you squeezed around it in response.
“Fuck,” He whimpered nuzzling his nose into your neck, his warm breath ebbing against your skin.
Din took this as a sign to begin thrusting. It was slow at first, gauging how you were handling everything. In and out Dieter’s cock rubbed against the sensitive areas inside you, and you moaned. Fingers pulled at Dieter’s curls earning a new set of moans to the symphony of sex.
Din grunted as he pulled his cock almost out of Dieter before plunging it back inside of him, sending Dieter deeper inside of you. The trio moaned as everyone was feeling on cloud nine. Din sped of up thrusts, the need for gentleness over. He draped his torso over Dieter’s back, leaning in to bite on the actor’s shoulder.
Dieter twitched inside of you, and you smirked. “S-Shit I should bite you more,”
Dieter moaned as Din’s thrusts became more erratic. It was clear that Din was close to cuming and by the way Dieter felt inside of you, he was close too. Your hand slid down your torso and your fingers began circling your clit, speeding up your motions as you felt the heat in your stomach began to grow and grow.
With each circle you squeezed around Dieter, earning a moan each time. Your fingers pressed on a particularly sensitive bit and you moaned, sending your legs shaking. Dieter couldn’t hold on much longer. With a few more thrusts from Din, Dieter leaned his head back and came hard inside you. You could feel each bit of cum drenching your walls.
You played with your clit as fast as you could, using your entire hand to gain the pleasure you need. Soon you joined Dieter in the realm of orgasm and came with the tensing of your legs. As you came down from your high, a series of grunts filled the room as Din filled Dieter with his own high.
All three of you were left panting against the bed. Din was the first to pull out, and with a tilt of your head you could see the cum cascading down Dieter’s leg. Din gave Dieter’s ass a few taps before slowly getting off the bed to grab a towel from the bathroom.
Almost reluctantly Dieter pulled out of you, his gaze drifting down to see his own seed dripping from you. “Fuck that’s such a pretty sight, doll.” Dieter moaned as he leaned down. You followed his gaze with curiosity. Dieter glanced up. “What? Think I would miss an opportunity to taste the both of us? Not a chance.” With a quick swipe of his tongue, he gathered you and his own arousal on his tongue savoring the saltiness. You gasped at the overstimulation and latched onto his curls for grounding. This only spurred him on, and soon he was devouring like he hadn’t eaten in days. Another orgasm ripped through you, surprising you with how quickly he made you cum. That made Dieter’s ego skyrocket, and he chuckled as he detached himself from you.
“S-Shit…how?” You asked, panting, mind fuzzy from the pleasure.
“I can’t give away all of my secrets,” Dieter winked before he settled beside you. His arms pulled you in for cuddles which you gladly appreciated. The warmth from his chest filled you with ease as you wound down from the activities.
Din reappeared with the washcloth, and with effortless gentleness he cleaned the both of you. He tossed the material aside, dealing with it at a later time, before settling on the other side of you. You practically purred at the feeling of the two men sandwhiching you.
Everything was quiet as you laid there. Din gently drew imaginary shapes on your skin, and Dieter twirled your hair in his fingers. “C-Can we do this again?” You asked hesitantly not wanting to break the magic of tonight.
Dieter chuckled against your hair. “I was hoping you would ask that.” You smiled in return happy that your crappy night had turned into something you had a feeling would last a long time.
Credit: @inklore
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@for-a-longlongtime @romanarose
Pedro Characters Taglist:
@littlemisspascal @burntheedges
@carusolikey @thebeldroramscal
@morallyinept @lady-bess
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@pascalsanctuary @readingiskeepingmegoing
@jessthebaker
#dieter bravo x reader#din djarin x reader#din djarin smut#dieter bravo smut#crow and mouse writings#mod mouse writing#secret santa#dieter bravo#din djarin#dieter bravo fanfiction#dieter bravo fanfic#dieter bravo x f!reader#din dijarin fanfiction#din djarin x you#the mandalorian#the bubble#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fandom#pedro pascal characters#pedrohub#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro brainrot#fanfiction
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emotional motion sickness
General g/n headcanons; mentions of abuse dynamics in relationships, talks of physical, emotional, and mental abuse, if these topics trigger you please dont read
so I'll start with the idea of being on earth with Jimmy, I'd like to imagine that curly set you two up, hoping that you'd rub off on him
Your first date you meet and you're charmed by him, he's a sarcastic, flirty, handsome man with a sense of humor (albeit a dry sense of humor)
people like Jimmy are VERY charming and can pretend to be a certain person to draw you in. Then slowly up the ante until you feel trapped
He starts off cute, comes a little late to dates, clothes wrinkled, flowers bent. But hes apologetic and you cant help but feel bad for him
As you get deeper into the relationship the faults start to show.
Maybe a year or so in he starts asking about friends. Nothing too dramatic just an occasional "who's that?"
And at first its cute! He's just worried and protective. But it slowly gets more and more controlling.
One of the first things an abuser will do is isolate you to make it hard to leave them. so he asks you to stop talking to a few people, coworkers or group project friends.
if you question it he will get very intense very fast and uestion why your so hesitant to cut them off.
"is there something your not telling me?" He asks, he had both arms caging you down onto your armchair, his body leaned down to look at you closely. "No!" You exclaim sitting up as best you can with him so close, "I just think it's weird you suddenly aren't ok with me and danny talking anymore!" He laughs but it holds no humor if the look on his face is anything to go by "I know you probably didn't notice but he's constantly flirting with you, he obviously wants to fuck you." you begin to mentally look over your conversations in your head, had he? Was there something you missed? Something misinterpreted? "Really?" You ask, doubting if you really should be talking to a man who liked you while in a relationship. "yes! that's why I don't want you talking to him, he's trying to take advantage of you." you sigh before nodding "yeah, sorry I... didn't even realize" "its fine" he says softly holding the back of your head to lead you into a kiss "I just want to keep you safe".
so you bite and agree, you slowly begin to cut less important people out. As you do he'll pavlov you, with each friend you pick off he'll love bomb you. kisses, hugs, gifts, sex, sweet talk, pet names, bragging about you. He'll play into whatever you want as long as you follow his rules.
When it comes to the biggest hitters like family, close circle friends, and best friends he'll wait a few years to cut them out
He'll plant ideas of a us vs them mentality.
they just want to break us apart.
they're jealous of us.
your too good for them.
they don't treat you right.
they're the abusers.
i'm the only one who REALLY loves you
and after so many years with him, despite your ups and downs you cant help but do what he says because you just don't see him as this horrible monster everyone's making him out to be.
you love him and he loves you!
people just don't understand your dynamic,
they don't know him like you do.
when it's bad its bad but when it's good its so damn good.
and his lonely act works well too, besides curly he doesn't really have any friends.
he has acquaintances and coworkers, but friends? no.
if you broke up with him he'd have no one. and you've been together so long it'd be such a jump. going from deep conversations and intense love to asking about a person's favorite color? fuck that.
when he has you were he wants you that's when all hell breaks loose.
you barely go anywhere and if you do he either needs your location the whole time (probably makes you get life360) or has to be with you, hand on hip, glaring at anyone who talks to you.
when you two get invited to parties he'll play nice (after all he is in public) and let you roam.
you'll talk to people you haven't in a bit while he drinks and talks to curly.
and its times like that that makes the worst moments feel worth it.
speaking of the worst moments.....he's a very jealous person, he constantly is worried if you're cheating on him.
he'll argue with you and wont relent till your crying and exhausted.
then once he thinks you've proved yourself he'll scoop you up and let you cry on his shoulder. murmuring that he loves you and he sorry.
he'll open up, say he knows there's something wrong with him, and he's sorry hes like this, that you deserve better and he's trying.
"I'm sorry" Jimmy softly says into your ear. cradling you like a baby in his arms. your arms are around his neck, your eyes burn with drying tears and sleep, your nose is stuffy, your throat is dry from yelling and sobbing for hours. the rocking isn't helping your sleepiness. "I'm sorry, I know there's something wrong with me. Please don't leave me"
trying to leave in these situations is probably the worst thing you could do
now I'm not under the impression that Jimmy would be overly physically abusive given that his character is all about the subtleties of abuse.
BUT! I do believe he'd restrain you, push you, grab you harder than needed, ect. If you tried to leave him while arguing.
He doesn't like you taking control of the situation and it gets him very mad, as a result he'll force you to stay where he wants.
But he doesn't explicitly hit you as that would leave marks
he wouldn't want you to be bruised because that would bring suspicion to the safety of your relationship.
And most of the relationships abuse is kept to a level that could pass as normal to others.
I think having a friend like curly in these moments that always tries to smooth things over without any bridge burning would definitely lead to him unintentionally gaslighting you about it.
side note: ok this is the first time I've really written in this format, made a romantic x reader, AND this is also my first time posting x reader onto Tumblr lol. apologies if this is ooc I never refreshed myself on Jimmy's character simply bc I don't have the time for that lol. this is also based off of my general knowledge of abusive relationships. if anyone wants more plz let me know i really wanted to try writing fanfiction seriously for a while now lmao, bye :)
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Would you be able to do a Lucifer from Obey Me request for some comfort for an MC who’s had a tough day? Just too many things happened all at once with no breaks in between the madness and they’re completely wiped out emotionally and emotionally charged from all the stupid things happening around their day? I’d love some comfort character for a rainy day which I feel like will be happening sooner rather than later.
𓆩⚝𓆪 — After a long day
𓆩⚝𓆪 — Warnings: touching but very fluffy, reader feels sick and just genuinely had a terrible day
𓆩⚝𓆪 — Contains: fluff, comfort ~0.8k wc
𓆩⚝𓆪 — A/N: I had a great time writing this ty for the request!! sorry it took so long omg this req was from october 😭
It’s been such a long day. You’re tired, utterly exhausted. You’re not even aware of how to explain why you feel like this, other than you, “just woke up on the wrong side of bed.” So many things have happened today. You had five tests today, still had to keep up promises you had made the day before, had constantly been smothered and overwhelmed by whichever brothers were around you at the time, and not only that, you’ve also felt sick the entire day since you’ve barely had enough time to eat or drink. You feel awful.
You finally arrived back at the HoL, but you didn't really feel like doing anything, let alone the stacks and stacks of homework you were sent home with.
You went straight to your room, throwing your things on the table and crashing down onto your bed. You rubbed your face with your hands.
You spent the next few minutes mindlessly doomscrolling on your D.D.D, until you were interrupted by a knock on the door.
“___? Are you in there?” It was Lucifer.
“Mhm,” you quietly breathed out.
“I’m coming in.” He replied, pushing the door open.
Without a word, he laid down beside you, your bed creaking as he did so. “What’s going on?” He asked you, gently grazing your cheek with his fingers.
“I don’t really want to talk about it.” You whispered, averting his gaze.
“That’s alright, just… let me know if you want to talk, okay?”
“Mhm.”
“Is there anything I can do to try to distract you?” He asked.
“Um… Not really.”
“Do you want me to stay or go?”
“Stay. Please.”
“Of course.” He opened his arms, allowing you to relax comfortably in them. He gently stroked your head.
A few minutes passed, with nothing but tranquil silence until you spoke.
“It’s just… been a really long day.”
He waited until you were ready to speak again.
“Y’know, the five tests started it. And then your brothers were overwhelming me.”
He sighed heavily.
“And since I had to study during lunch, I didn't get to eat or drink. I feel really sick. And I'm on dinner duty tonight.”
“Mm.” He breathed, kissing your head. “I'll gladly help you with your homework,” he paused, kissing you once more, “and I'll make one of my brothers take over dinner duty for you. Since it's for you, I'm sure there won't be any complaints.”
You sighed. “Thank you.”
“If you want me to, I can speak with my brothers about their constant affection.”
“No, it's not necessary, it just… was a bad time, I guess.”
“That's understandable. That's happened to everyone once or twice before. Everything seems to fall on the wrong day.”
“Yeah, exactly.” You sighed once more, rubbing your face with your hands. “I'm tired, Luci.”
“I know,” he caressed your face. “I know. But you need to eat something, and make sure to drink some water.”
“Mhm.” You nodded.
He sighed, gently pulling you in for a chaste kiss. His hands remained on your cheeks. “___, please don't be afraid to ask for help.”
“I… I know. And I should've. I'm sorry.” You averted eye contact.
“Why are you apologizing to me? You should be apologizing to yourself.”
“Sorry, me,” you said sarcastically.
“Be serious.” He kissed you once more. “Make sure you go to bed early tonight. Just this once, take something from Belphegor. Though don't be like him every day.”
“I know.” You kissed his jaw, right under his ear. “Maybe you're right.”
“You know I am.”
You paused. “Um, Luci?”
“Yes, darling?”
“Could you, um… stay with me tonight?”
“Of course. I wouldn’t ever leave you alone, should you need me.”
“Thank you.”
“No need.” He smiled.
You smiled back, though it was soft and tired.
He sat up. “Shall we get something for you to drink?”
“I can still make dinner if you want.” You said, changing the subject.
“No, if you feel unwell, you should rest.”
“I know, but… I just feel obligated to.”
“Hm. Well, at least let me help you.”
You nodded. “Okay.”
After dinner, Lucifer helped you do your homework, and also tried (keyword tried) to talk with his brothers about their smothering. He offered you medicine to help your sick feeling, and did everything he could to make you feel as comfortable as possible before joining you in bed.
“How are you feeling?” He asked you, laying on his side to face you.
“Better.” You replied.
“Good. I’m glad. Is there anything, anything else I can do for you tonight?”
“Uh, no. I think I’m okay. Thank you, Lucifer.” “You’re welcome. I can’t deny I like to see you depending on me for something.”
You smiled gingerly. “That’s cute.”
“Uh-huh.” He replied sarcastically.
“Just know, you can always rely on me. I promise if anything ever goes wrong, I’ll do whatever I can to make it better. I love you, ___.”
“I love you more.”
“I love you most.”
𓆩⚝𓆪 — thank you for reading!
𓆩⚝𓆪 — taglist (ask 2 be added): none
𓆩⚝𓆪 — obey me masterlist
#‹𝟹 — emi's works#obey me!#obey me#obey me lucifer#om lucifer x reader#lucifer x mc#lucifer x reader#obey me x reader#obey me x mc
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Darling, I have a bit of a homophobe problem. Some of my male family members believe that you all are corrupting good men and want to turn you into Christians to find good wives and establish proper family values. Can you have them see things your way and maybe recruit them into your...masculine brotherhood?
I'll be glad to help you out, bro. I'll invite your family members over for a quick chat at my house under the guise of getting to know more about their religion. I'm not one to turn down an offer, after all. I'll let you know how it goes.
Your family sure knew how to dress for the occasion. They looked just like a true pair of missionaries! I led the two into my living room, my big Christmas tree casting a perfect backdrop for our conversation. I even wore my favorite suit for the occasion. Wanted to show them I mean business, even if what we call "business" may be different...
I thought it would be a nice dialogue about our different beliefs, but it quickly turned into a lecture about us turning our backs on God and how being gay is a sin and we need to find wives, be fruitful and multiply and all that stuff, blah blah blah. Now it's nothing I haven't heard before, but having it happen when I invited your family over struck a nerve with me.
They continued to lecture me as I snapped my fingers, hypnotizing them to remove their suits. The two never even noticed what was happening, too into talking down to me instead of taking off their jackets, ties, and shirts. The pants came next, being discarded onto the floor as they talked about traditional values and how regular church attendance is vital for any good Christian.
Another quick snap of my fingers and their muscles grew larger, their arms becoming massive and legs becoming huge tree trunks. It's a good thing they took off their suits before. They would have had to come off anyway!
Still mid lecture, I tossed the two their new golden jerseys, glistening in the light of the mid morning. They put them on while talking to me about how they plan on starting a soccer league at their church with their wives. Already it's turning more into a conversation again, I'm finally able to get some words in edgewise and turn it into a real dialogue. My words have some magic laced into them though, and their minds are rewritten right before me.
They're still religious, I'm not going to take that away from anyone, but they're much more liberal in their beliefs. Gone is the idea that being gay is a sin. Instead, the two now want to find husbands of their own! They're dumber too, only really able to think about sports and bros, sports and bros. The order of importance changing depending on their current mood.
The Golden Army is their true home now, with their new golden names worn with pride. It doesn't matter who they were before, right? They're now Marcus and Deshaun, two golden jocks who are proud of their accomplishments and all that God helps them accomplish.
I did leave a few memories intact though, just slightly altered. They still remember you and the rest of the family, so the next family gathering should be quite interesting. Just be careful, bro, or they may try to convert you too. Not that that would be a bad thing...
#golden army#thegoldenteam#golden team#male transformation#jockification#soccer tf#male tf#hypnotised#jock tf#jock transformation#dumb jock#straight to gay#male hypnosis#ask
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lights flashed and music thumped so loud you could feel it vibrate in your chest. the amount of people cooped up in this house party caused temperatures to be almost overwhelming.
but nothing could've been hotter than the feeling of eren's fingers pressed deeper into the confines of your sopping cunt practically out in the open.
his mouth pressed against the shell of your ear as he pants and whispers the filthiest fucking words directly into your scrambled brain. you were trying to keep a straight face, you really were. and you were actually doing a really good job, but if anyone were to even take just a little bit of time to actually inspect what was going on between you and eren while sat on the couch packed with your stupidly drunken friends, then they'd immediately be able to tell what the hell was going on.
but luckily for the both of you- or maybe more so just you because eren couldn't quite frankly give a fuck who was watching- no one seemed to notice.
he swirled his fingers, pressing up and around inside of you, using only two of his fingers and his thumb on your clit as his other hand held a death grip on your thigh, keeping your legs open just enough to fit his hand through.
"need you to cum on my fingers, pretty. in front of alllll these people. you can do that for me, yeah? mmm, i know you can." he huffs into your ear, teeth just barely grazing the skin.
he curls his fingers in a quick pace, purposefully making you squirm and your pussy ache as your writhed around in his grip, your own hand flying down to clench around his wrist as your walls clenched around his rapid fingers.
"you make one fucking noise and on god i'll stop." he damn near growls into the lobe of your ear as he leans down to pepper kisses slowly down your neck.
so you screw your mouth shut as your thighs begin to tremble. and you swear you'll kill him the moment he started bouncing his leg underneath yours, adding more friction and depth to his pace as you feel when he grins against your overly sensitive and burning hot skin.
you knew there was a reason he was so quick to drag you into his lap when you asked him to sit with you.
#eren jaeger x reader smut#eren x reader#eren x reader smut#plug!eren#plug!eren jaeger#plug!eren jaeger x reader#plug!eren jaeger x reader smut#plug!eren x reader
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I mean, other than animal cruelty, being a vegan causes the same issues: deforestation, immigrant abuse, child labour, etc. Like this is more of a "no ethical living under capitalism" and a "northern hemisphere lifestyle choice maintained at costs of the southern hemisphere" (especially as foods become more expensive for them due to being implemented in the northern hemisphere vegan "fad").
What you say about the way animals are treated is also true, but it is also silly to act like veganism is some grand moral stand against anything else, especially the harmed PEOPLE involved.
(It's also hardly cheaper if you want a diverse diet, even though meat itself is also expensive).
Humans have to eat to live. The majority of us don't need meat or animal products to live. But we need food. Even those of us who aren't rich enough to own land and grow our own food. It's really that simple.
If I can avoid doing harm, I will take the option that does less harm. I can't do that in every aspect of my life but food is one where, for me at least, it's very easy. Cheaper and easier too, where I live and with the type of diet I have.
If I have the option between eating corn that was grown in unethical conditions and eating an animal that was fed significantly more of corn over its (artificially shortened) lifetime and was then slaughtered and "processed" by even more exploited laborers, I'll just eat the corn.
Also personally I'd say I often have a way more diverse diet than most meat eaters around me. Growing up, most of the adults in my family would literally just eat meat and potatoes every day with maybe a small side salad. I come from a culture where most people wouldn't even touch a curry because it's too foreign.
I started enjoying food a lot more when I started putting plant foods in the center of it. There's so many options and cuisines to pick from. When I first made the transition, it felt a lot more like expanding my horizons rather than giving something up.
I can't save the world but I can at least try to live in a way that feels the most ethical to me. That way I at least don't have to do the labor of maintaining the level of cognitive dissonance I'd need to keep eating animal products despite everything I know & how it makes me feel.
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CONTENT WARNING: Vivziepop Critical/ Stolitz Critical below the cut.
This episode made me incredibly angry, so it's not going to be as well structured as I try to manage.
TL;DR The pacing and tone was a horrible mess, and this should have been split into at least two episodes to pull this off.
To start, we prove in the first five minutes how little these two actually know each other. They're surprised by very simple things and I don't like that. It tells me that neither of them, but especially Stolas, EVER asked about the other's interests. Cool, that's good to know I was right about that the whole time.
Blitz is WILDLY out of character in the bulk of this episode. I LOATHE how he's waiting on Stolas hand and foot. If we're being honest, he'd probably just say "figure it out yourself" and focus on his life, business, and daughter. Why are we always having to baby Stolas' feelings? It feels like he's the only one allowed to actually be doted on. (In a non-humorous way.)
And now he remembers Via? Sure, just run off without thinking about your family. You have never let that stop you before. And now Stella is being cartoonishly evil in front of her daughter? We've never had it proven that she's a bad mother. In fact, from what Via states later, that's the case! I really think they have no idea on how to be subtle with her.
In a similar vein to the moment with Blitz watching the family later. You didn't need to tell us who he was imagining in that window. The moment worked without you punching it down our throats.
Likewise with Millie's pregnancy. I wish they'd left that as an open thread, rather than taking time to fully confirm it. Like maybe all the way up to the point where she went into the bathroom and left looking a little fucked up? That way it can be an engaging thing to return to in S3.
The non-drama parts of the episode (especially the first five minutes) dragged HARD. They gutted any emotional moments and just felt like padding for the runtime.
I am so annoyed at the way this show is trying to lessen what Stolas did.
HE CHEATED ON HIS WIFE. HE DESTROYED HIS FAMILY. HE ABANDONED HIS DAUGHTER. HE IS A TERRIBLE MAN WHO GETS EVERYTHING HE WANTS BECAUSE THE SHOW BABIES HIM.
This is not some cute little quirk. His wife was never implied to cheat on him first. She was a bitch, but she didn't do anything to deserve this. I can't stress enough that if you showed her playing around too, it would immediately solve most of the hypocrisy with this.
Trying to weasel around that by Blitz trying to say cheating really so bad is fucking gross. It's not like they had an open relationship and Stella got jealous. Stolas is a slimeball. He doesn't deserve Blitz. He doesn't deserve Via.
He hasn't earned any of this.
While it came out of nowhere, the Via song is STELLAR. As a product of divorce, she owes her father nothing. She deserves to feel so hurt and betrayed.
"My tears won't fall upon your shoulder...I'll just get older and you'll only know my name." Hit me like a truck.
So imagine my outrage when we aren't allowed to sit and think about her feelings for more than a few seconds after the song. We aren't allowed to focus on her pain. If they staged a sequence between the number and her finding her dad's pills, I think it would work better.
Or even uploading the song by itself. But no. You have to CONSTANTLY remind us to feel bad for the stupid fucking owl. Feel bad because he's depressed. Feel bad because he's trapped in the same loveless marriage as his wife. But don't feel bad for her because she's a bitch.
Fuck. Off.
My dad was manic depressive, that doesn't mean he got to treat our family the way he did. Stolas didn't even think about her before throwing his life away over his booty call.
This show has so much potential that it just squanders. There are two different series being forced together and it doesn't work. You have the comedy series shoved into the same sweater as the soap opera. They aren't mutually exclusive, but truly the team seems incapable of making this work.
I'm done.
This isn't even fun to critique anymore.
If folks want my opinions on future Helluva Boss content, you'll have to directly ask me to watch the piece in question. I'm still going to give S2 of Hotel a shot, but as far as this?
I'm throwing in the towel. Of the two, I was so excited for Helluva. I loved the characters, I loved the idea, and I truly loved the first couple episodes.
But that show doesn't exist anymore.
Once again, I'm going to take a moment to remind you all:
You are allowed to love this series. I am just a dude on the internet. I am not trying to change your mind. I am not trying to ruin your fun. If you love it, that's awesome. I am so happy you found something that sings to your soul.
Don't let me harsh your buzz. Okay?
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the sky was awfully gorgeous first thing this morning
#pics by maya#also I'm kinda proud of this picture#like ive never been much of a photographer but i have a few ive taken over the years i really love#maybe I'll try to start taking more who knows
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part 1 of a little comic / art sequence that i've been working on! :D it's part tribute, part experimenting with brushes n colors and trying new thingz :]
| 1 | 2 | 3 | ... |
and thus continues my endless quest of spreading the carrot fics like a plague! if you've seen my art floating around you probs already figured that this au holds a very special place in my heart, forever and always!!
if you haven't heard of it, it's a fic series by @crowned-ladybug called carrot soup!! it made me wish i could speak colors and i need more people to share my struggle xd
go check it out if you're into sweet voice lore and qpr level gayness and just wanna feel warm and soft and warm (hurt/comfort my beloved) <333 there are some heavier themes cos everyone's traumatized but they're working through it! be sure to check the tags and stay safe! <3
#hlvrai#half life vr but the ai is self aware#frenrey#carrots au#<- gotta remember to tag the other ones as well#yippie im so excited to finally start sharing these with people!!!#there will be at least 5 parts in total maybe more idk#i just wanted to illustrate this little snippet of the first fic#maybe i'll draw more of these if i get another vision#i am still trying to work on the animatic so that would probs include most of my visions anyway#i think im gonna post a wip sometime soon just in case i lose interest#also i crave validation and reading people's tags and comments makes me so so so happy!!!><#btw it kinda feels nice posting something like. after a while#cos it's been quite a bit since i finished this first.. part? page? thingy#and it's nice to finally stay out of the whole instant gratification thing#please do still go crazy in the tags tho? if u want?#mkay enough rambling for today i've got things to do#like be cozy n read fanfics n drink water n stuff yk?#all the important thingz#and who knows maybe i'll even make some progress on.. whatever it is that piques my interest today#bye for now!!! take care and have a very orange day <3#art tag or whatever
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#ts3#scenery#hi friends! i'm still around!#i started playing a save pretty casually + barely taking any screenshots that weren't scenery#will try to post more but the skyrim bug has bitten me and this is my first time playing with mods! ^_^#maybe i'll post about that game who knows#anyway hope yall are well!
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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it's probably the sunnier weather that's doing stuff to my brain to make me more optimistic but it's so interesting having a brain that craves a lot of self-fulfillment to the point where I can move past some hang-ups around perfection by going "oh I really wanna do that though" and then I do it well because researching how to do it right is also a rewarding part of the process
#it comes with the double edged sword of dropping projects as soon as they become a bit more involved/difficult#or when they don't feel fulfilling#but maybe it's better to take a break and come back to something with new knowledge ?#maybe it's good that my brain has a built in 'if it sucks hit da bricks' function ?#i just wish that i had more stamina for these things when they start lacking intrinsic rewards#it just feels like compared to my other family members i lose steam very very quickly and since we all have the same disorder i should be-#- 'just as capable'... but honest to god my under-activity feels SO severe#it honestly feels like compared to others my threshold for mental exhaustion is half the normal benchmark it should be#you know how there were studies done that found that 4 hours is the maximum amount of time people can work before a decline in efficiency?#i swear to god when the activity is something i have no internal reward for it takes 1-2 hours for that decline to start. and my brain -#- crashes HARD. my eyes start to glaze over. i start forgetting how to speak. my brain starts acting like it's 2-3 am and that i need to -#- sleep. i don't push myself not because i coddle myself but because i perform WAY worse. my work becomes unintelligible#or if it's some other kind of task (such as cleaning) my brain desperately tries to take shortcuts in order to get it done#i am trying to avoid a situation where i have to fix up the shitty job i did after the fact!#it's just kind of crazy to me how this is viewed as laziness LOL 'you did a bad job!' because i was pushed past my limit!#not to mention... i get burned out for DAYS if i push myself too hard. i am trying to conserve my efficiency#if you want me to do a better job... i need more time. and trust me: i'll do an excellent job if you let me rest#i am a very smart and capable person who cares about doing a good job - and i have a fine eye for smaller details as well#the trade-off here is i'll need some time to find joy and fulfillment somewhere else for a little bit while i rest. let me excel ok?#idk where this high self esteem came from other than like. realizing i wrote an entire research proposal in such short time#while receiving positive feedback with very few notes for improvement. i just sat down an added another section today based on -#-feedback and realized like 'wait. i know what i'm doing and i probably care about this far more than the average classmate'#i've been having a lot of thoughts lately and i sort of want to get to the bottom of how i have a difficult time coping w/ burnout#and i also want to figure out how to offset the costs of the stuff i need to do... it's a process
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yanno, for a show that seemed to always be running when i was growing up (disclaimer; I did not grow up with the channel; I only had access when visiting my mom's parents if they were even in the same state) Danny Phantom really is a short show, huh?
#personal;#I've got 7 episodes left and I could swear I remember catching bits of a good lot of them#over my cousin's shoulder or w/e#more so in the back half but not none in the front#raine watches Danny Phantom;#I did always like the show when i saw it. I can't remember if i ever finished all of Kim Possible either#I know i started once but i think ADHD deviated#maybe it'll be my next 'i don't have engagement energy' show#kids cartoons are really good for no energy#maybe I'll even watch more RECENT cartoons sometime (lol who am i kidding)#anyway Sam's a trans girl and I love her#and they manage to SOMEHOW make the Sam has a crush on Danny who has a crush on Paulina/Valerie not give me hives which is nice#(they did it by Sam not being any cattier than your average 14yo and not act like she's entitled to him and thus a girl fight)#Sam/Danny is a T4T narrative and I'll die on this hill#and Tucker is just happy to have a boyfriend AND a girlfriend after trying for so long and also his PDA is there#might still be a little manic#thought it wore off but no I'm just Big Seeby#I AM gonna take my tegretol tonight tho#I skipped it for 24hrs it's been fun but it's given me a headache (have found which med it is that makes me feel like dogshit when forgot)#.....I said am. I already did. I took my meds hours ago when i was gonna go to bed#(gf and I ended up having a talk but now it really is bedtime- I'm past the sleeby shakes)#(I'm starting to feel like that bitch in that one MAG ep and my brain is about to start buzzing again)
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