#maybe I'll even finish this who knows
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Uuuuuh here's my take on a Teen Wolf movie fix-it, because god do we deserve it.
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“Stiles, think of her father! He finally has her back!”
“Think of his son! Scott, he’s a child,” Stiles’ voice breaks as he thinks of Eli, young and alone after losing his only parent. He thinks of himself, and who he might have been had he lost his dad at Eli’s age.
Mostly, he thinks of Derek. Selfless, martyr, stupid Derek who still thought he was disposable after all these years, after raising a son and settling down and getting the quiet life he always wanted. Stiles thinks of Derek, and he feels himself falling apart at the seams because why is it that life still likes to punish kind, battered souls like Derek Hale’s? Why couldn’t it decide that he’d had enough, why did it have to kill him before letting him rest?
Stiles can’t accept it. He won’t accept it. He’s going to bring Derek back from whatever kind of shit afterlife he’s in, and he’s going to force him to live out his quiet life with his son if it’s the last goddamn thing Stiles ever does. That is the only ending he’ll accept for this beautiful, broken man.
Fuck everyone who wants to stop him.
“Stiles, he’s gone. You can’t— he’s gone,” Scott says, voice softening, obviously trying to be placating. Stiles doesn’t care for it.
“You can keep your head in fucking Allison land all you want, Scott. Get your child bride, fuck off back to wherever it is you left Beacon Hills for. But don’t you dare tell me what I can and cannot do. If you want to keep her, you’ll do it far, far away from here,” and Stiles thinks maybe this is the moment Scott finally gets it. That he is not the same boy who left after high school graduation. Whatever soft spot Stiles had for Scott is gone, went away with time and therapy and the realization that Scott would never care for him the way Stiles did for him, that he was kept close for his usefulness until it ran out and he became disposable.
So yeah, Scott can keep Allison. Stiles will be happy for him, even. But if he dares interfere with his own plans, Stiles will put them both in the ground himself.
It’s not like it’d be the first time he’s done so.
#patolemus writes#maybe I'll even finish this who knows#certainly not me#stiles brings derek back with sheer force of will and smacks him for being stupid and not calling him#then they kiss#eli is fucking thrilled because stiles is the single most badass/terrifying person he's ever met. he wants to be him when he grows up#derek is rightfully concerned about this but it's too late. when he complains about this to stiles he just tells him to suck it up#if derek didn't want his son to become a menace to society like stiles is he should have stayed alive to monitor eli's time with him#as a side note this is me shaming this whole movie for pairing off grown ass adult scott with 17yo allison#interesting how it is ok for 30yo scott to date a 17yo girl but 19yo or 21yo or hell 24yo derek dating a 17yo boy is a fucking crime#smells like bullshit to me#teen wolf#teen wolf the movie#sterek#stiles stilinski#derek hale#eli hale#scott mccall#allison argent
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part 1 of a little comic / art sequence that i've been working on! :D it's part tribute, part experimenting with brushes n colors and trying new thingz :]
| 1 | 2 | 3 | ... |
and thus continues my endless quest of spreading the carrot fics like a plague! if you've seen my art floating around you probs already figured that this au holds a very special place in my heart, forever and always!!
if you haven't heard of it, it's a fic series by @crowned-ladybug called carrot soup!! it made me wish i could speak colors and i need more people to share my struggle xd
go check it out if you're into sweet voice lore and qpr level gayness and just wanna feel warm and soft and warm (hurt/comfort my beloved) <333 there are some heavier themes cos everyone's traumatized but they're working through it! be sure to check the tags and stay safe! <3
#hlvrai#half life vr but the ai is self aware#frenrey#carrots au#<- gotta remember to tag the other ones as well#yippie im so excited to finally start sharing these with people!!!#there will be at least 5 parts in total maybe more idk#i just wanted to illustrate this little snippet of the first fic#maybe i'll draw more of these if i get another vision#i am still trying to work on the animatic so that would probs include most of my visions anyway#i think im gonna post a wip sometime soon just in case i lose interest#also i crave validation and reading people's tags and comments makes me so so so happy!!!><#btw it kinda feels nice posting something like. after a while#cos it's been quite a bit since i finished this first.. part? page? thingy#and it's nice to finally stay out of the whole instant gratification thing#please do still go crazy in the tags tho? if u want?#mkay enough rambling for today i've got things to do#like be cozy n read fanfics n drink water n stuff yk?#all the important thingz#and who knows maybe i'll even make some progress on.. whatever it is that piques my interest today#bye for now!!! take care and have a very orange day <3#art tag or whatever
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oc time again! + her town & culture (heavily inspired by pre-roman italic populations)
she is suri sauthon. her story is linked to my swtor imperial agent, tar'x, but most of her life except for the one year away where she meets him, is spent in a town in the mountains of mirial.
despite mirial being cold and desert, and many cities developing underground, her town flourishes thanks to a force nexus, venerated in the form of an ancient, sacred, alive crystal. the ecosystem of that mountain depended on what "the horned crystal" was capable of giving them, but mirialans couldn't live off of that alone, so they developed trade and some rudimental technology, even if oftentimes it was bought thanks to the highly profitable trade of a plant used to make medicines that slowed down aging and had overall healing properties.
note: everything that's generated by this nexus has these healing properties BUT they have to be processed, except for those who bathed in the waters of the cavity under the crystal - the "real" nexus, but not the worshipped one. the waters were sacred but they were not thought to be miraculous, unlike the crystal, who instead was thought of as the keystone of the ecosystem: without it, everything would fall apart (and that is partially true: the cavity was the "real" nexus but thanks to the crystal, also strong in the force, the properties were spread all over the mountains). those who bathed in the cavity's waters - so, all of the town, who had a sort of baptism there - could eat the plant, make whatever food with it, and not only that plant, but everything generated by the nexus, that, again, had similar properties. this allowed people to live up to normal life-spans without advanced medicines or, much, really. to those who didn't live there, though, after the processing, had incredible effects, slowing down aging - for those who took it regularly - and making people able to live up to half a century more than the average]
originally, there were four tribes of nomads that lived thanks to horned farm animals that decided to settle down into one bigger town and other smaller settlements, to live off of transhumance. this division of the tribes stayed into the political and social organization: every person belonged to one tribe specifically, and had slightly different rituals and culture. for examples, each tribe had their own priests and healers, with different techniques and traditions. the town, tho, was guided by a group of people in the high priesthood, a position you could reach only by having earned the trust of all tribes. those high priests had many roles: they guided the people into sacred processions common to all the tribes, they managed the trading with outsiders, they did the maintenance of the temple of the summit (the one that functioned as casket to the crystal) and created a special liquid to offer the crystal that helps it grow.
this particular temple was important because 1. it was very visible, from every angle of the town, and it became an important identity symbol; 2. it stored the venerated horned crystal; 3. it had the altar where sacrifices were made for the crystals. that altar had a hole connected to the cavity, that allowed the liquids to reach the underground; 4. it had various symbols: statues representing each tribe + the high priesthood, and typical mirialan tattoos carved into the wood of the trees that served as columns for the temple, symbolizing 8 values that who dared to enter HAD to have; 5. it was on the way to an important lake (called "mother lake" because the lake the town was built around to depended on the waters of that other lake) where they traveled to in important processions; 6. it was said that a the wizard who unified the tribes made it with its magic, making the plant grow to hold the temple's roof. this wizard was, actually, a force user, obv.
BACK TO HER THOUGH: she's daughter of one of the high priests, who was in charge of managing the trades with outsiders, and lives in a house on the mountains with her mother and him. her parents are from different tribes (that's one of the things that earned him trust from the 4 tribes): when a child is born from two different tribes, they don't pick one to allign to, but they're usually linked automatically to the one with more relatives in it (in her case, the father's tribe: she had many uncles and aunts on his side while her mom only had one sister).
later, though, she got quite tied to her mother's tribe due to a mysterious illness that only her mother's tribe healer was able to cure. she spent 4 years (from 10 to 14 years old) living with the healer and learned her secrets. to better study, she wrote them down. when she returned home, she studied to become a priestess with her father. at 22 (the average age: you can't become priest before your 20s), she was supposed to take a test and become a priestess, but the healer of her mother's tribe died and the tribe asked her to take her place. she couldn't technically do that, but both tribes estimated both her and her parents and she was allowed to become both. she then decided to try to become a high priestess, and became one at 25 (a quite young age). being part of the council, she tried to convince the various tribe healers to unite their knowledges and write them down, and eventually made it. healers still remained tribe based but they now had an "upper, inter-tribe level" similar to high priesthood.
years later, the sacred horned crystal is stolen from the temple by some Hutt mercenaries looking for a profit. given the trust she has earned from all the tribes and the fact that her father is the high priest that deals with outsiders (and she's been hearing stories and advice about it since she was little), she is the one tasked with getting it back. without the growing crystal, the keystone to their ecosystem, the village would have lasted only a few years. in hrr quest, she meets imperial intelligence agent tar'x laran and, as they "solve the mystery" and fight to have it back, they get closer. they'll get married and have a daughter, Vegoia (who's the only one who actually will get to the plot of my story. this was all background)
#i overdeveloped this part of the background. IT'S QUITE LITERALLY USELESS. like. Vegoia will have so few memories of it (she'll become jedi)#i will make a post about her too when I'll finish designing her and outlining her story BUT that may be difficult cuz the frame for the mai#story is quite difficult to match with how developed the other stories are getting and i have to figure it Much Stuff yet#so I'm using these post to like. fix a certain part lf the lore because even my own notes are getting older and messy. better to start over#ANYWAY for those curious & who are still reading (if u exist. WTF THANK U!!); my main story is actually a research file in the jedi archive#BASICALLY i was trying to write my own story for years but then i watched a video (tcw doesn't hold up by sheev talks i think) and i finall#understood how to frame all of these stories together in a way that i feel can add to the star wars lore (because. the others were just#like. okay but who cares unless me? and i did want to have a cool frame that maybe some nerd would be interested in looking into)#so: when ahsoka anakin and obi return from mortis; they tell the council about it (yoda knows about it in s6). sheev talks complained that#it was incredibly full of stuff that was done so poorly it could ruin a big part of the original sw story itself and it was never brought u#again. and honestly i agree. SO my story is about a jedi that is tasked with research on the celestials & by having him figure out stuff i#can minimize/limit/reframe some of the controversial things in there (i love mortis arc so bad but i also agree with his critic. I'll Fix™)#so. many stories will be about people who have previously seen the celestials or have been to mortis one way or another (pre-tcw obv) & hav#had experience & knowledge that the researcher is looking for. so i get to have an anthology with many stories#and have a cool frame I'm intrested in developing + i can experiment with different storytelling styles depending on how he finds out stuff#+ there was another sw story with a similar frame i think? so if i decide to write the story as if it was the file itself and not the searc#i can have even a REFERENCE of what a file like that is supposed to be. LIKE. IT ALL FITS!!!#sw#star wars#swtor#the old republic#star wars oc#imperial agent#star wars fanart#mirialan oc#mirialan#star wars story#star wars the old republic#oc: suri sauthon
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folks i'm writing and i need wizard names. i need all the wizard names you've got. make up a wizard and put them in my comments please and thank you.
#i'll put ur oc in my middle grade fantasy novel i don't even care#statistically this won't see the light of day but who knows maybe i'll finish something for once!
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This was part of something bigger but I'm not even sure if I'll finish it
#the something bigger in question was redesigns for the protagonists#I thought that even if I don't have much drive to do them I might as well post what I have done already#who knows maybe I'll finish that glim redesign and then get to the sohone one#Mune didn't get changed much because his design is already perfect /hj#art#digital art#artwork#my art#furry#furryfandom#digital drawing#mune#mune guardian of the moon#mune le gardien de la lune#mune gardien de la lune#tolys's scribbles
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I love when I see posts like "Share how many crochet WIPs you currently have! I have 5, it's so many!"
Like, girl, I have unfinished projects from over a decade ago that I refuse to frog on the off chance I decide to finish them. I've found years-old projects I forgot I even started and will impulsively just finish it on the spot. I've started three different projects in the last 2 months, including one I started yesterday, that I already know I may or may not finish within the year depending on motivation.
The number of WIPs I have is infinite.
#crochet#knitting#needlepoint#sewing#embroidery#shoutout to the time it took me 4 years to make my dad a hat. and like 6 years to make a turtle for a teacher.#i picked up yarn spinning for ONE day in like 2017. i have not done it since.#there's a half finished elephant amigurumi sitting in a basket and i started that guy in like 2011#i have two maybe three shawls i know of that are sitting unfinished in a storage bag#plenty of swatches of things that i start and lose interest in#currently i have a cardigan i wanted to make and started it and then got bored so i stopped#there's a hat i was knitting for my nanna that i started maybe 2 days before she passed#and that's sat unfinished i can't even look at it. i have no clue if i'll ever actually finish it.#there's at least one skirt i never finished sewing. and two skirts i have all the materials for but haven't started.#i know i have one beach cover up dress and one cover up skirt that i started in 2017 and didn't finish.#i think my oldest work in progress though dates back to when i was 9 or 10. i made a slipper. never finished the other foot.#that was in 2005 or 06. so literally i might have WIPs older than someone who is reading this.#and those are the just some of the ones i REMEMBER. buried in my yarn stash are probably others i've just forgotten.
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What's up it's time to post all the Temeraire doodles I'll never colour let's go
Granby & Tharkay being cute (these work as Granby/Tharkay in general but they were meant as doodles from my fic The most enduring amity of Mr Tharkay and Mr Granby)
pov: your 20-tonne dragon has a Question
this started out as an anatomy study with poses I found on pinterest. and then it became hot
bonus:
#temeraire#william laurence#john granby#tenzing tharkay#i drew something#i rediscovered the most beautiful laurence/tharkay wip i've ever drawn in my life while gathering doodles for this post#i had forgotten it even existed#it's not in here because maybe i'll finish it. who knows
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round
#disco elysium#assigning characters my thoughts pt.1#avoiding the problem of poses coming out too stiff because I haven't drawn human bodies from references in years by not drawing 90%#of the body 👍#(I do have another thing with a couple of full bodies even if it's much more stylised. but who knows when I'll finish it#if I'll finish it before I think it sucks. ai also have a fourth that I barely begun. and a fifth that's just in my head#who knows maybe I'll think they suck. I already think the one I doodled with kim's room was too rushed. needed a couple more panels)
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Received the gift of an unexpected free afternoon so I finally got to check out one of my local yarn stores 🥹 this is what I bought! I decided to start my gift knits over because long story short I realized I misread something in the project notes & wouldn't actually have enough yarn to make each scarf long enough 🤦🏻♀️ but ngl I was kinda stoked about starting over, because I feel like I finally got the hang of keeping tension on these small needles.
It's working up so much more quickly too because it's a heavier weight yarn, so I was able to bring it to the bar and pretty much match my progress within a couple hours over drinks! 😁👍
#AND it's looking so much neater#the ladies in the yarn store were so nice but there was an evil customer who was being such a diva#he was mad because he didn't buy enough yarn and the shopkeeper couldn't intuit what yarn it was even though he didn't know#what label it was or any details like the weight or fiber. and then when she figured it out he was mad she didn't have any more#I feel like there's always someone rude as fuck in yarn stores why is that...#I don't think I'll unravel the other one btw I do plan on finishing it and maybe wearing it as a headband or gay little bandana thing
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he's always been good with lightning magic
#ariquar#my art#had the urge to draw thalmor era ari#I've been using artfight to get back into the swing of things before i finish some important things#it's weird. i feel like i improved in some ways during my depression stint#even though i wasn't able to bring myself to draw#maybe it's just the self reflection? who knows.#I'll be posting my artfight stuff at some point at the end of the month#going to try to do maybe another couple experimental things there before I'm back to doing like. actual work#this one tho i got lazy on but it's fine bc it's personal art#anyway! off to sleep i go
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tease tidbit tuesday💀
tagged by @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @daffi-990 @fortheloveofbuddie @disasterbuckdiaz @hoodie-buck 💖
hi! so, yesterday I randomly opened the doc with the buddie death cast au - which is a fic I started writing last summer on vacation and never got back to it but then made progress lol it's gonna be MCD, which i know is not everyone's thing so feel free to ignore this 🤣 it's basically buddie in the universe of the "they both die at the end"/"the first to die at the end" books so it's gonna be sad, sorry lol (I never even read mcd, idk why i'm writing this but this idea just wants to be written i guess haha) gotta put this weird mood I've been in lately to good use and finally write this 🤣 not sure if I'm happy with this snippet, but it all needs editing, the first two snippets were written on my phone and haven't been edited yet lol
I posted two snippets so far, gonna link them both snippet 1 | snippet 2
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“Is all of this clear, Eddie?” she asks in the end.
“Yeah, sure, whatever.” he says shortly. He should've just hung up immediately. Or cancel this stupid subscription after Shannon died. Sometimes he wonders if maybe people who get the calls and coincidentally get into accidents, for example, just give up and refuse to fight because they think it’s their time. Not like Shannon could do much, her injuries were too severe when they got there, but the point stands. Maybe they get more reckless, thinking it doesn’t matter anyway.
There’s a short pause on the line, but then Jane speaks up again, her tone softer, more sympathy seeping through.
“I know it’s not easy to accept, if you’d like some help with that, on out website you can find therapists and grief counselors specializing in-”
“Listen.” Eddie interrupts. He’s spent enough time in therapy. He’s not doing it on his supposedly last day. “I know it’s all bullshit. I don’t care. You said what you had to say, I listened, for whatever reason.” he rolls his eyes. He really should’ve hung up, or not answered at all. “Is this conversation over yet?” he asks and is met with another moment of silence. She’s probably wondering what everyone else always is: why is he even spending money on this if he doesn’t believe. He has an answer ready to go, but that’s not what she asks.
“Can I ask you a question?” she says quieter, whispering, probably not allowed to go too much off-script.
“Sure, why not.” he shrugs. He’s wide awake now, anyway, he’s not in a hurry. Not like he’s dying anytime soon.
“If it was your last day, how would you spend it? You don’t have to answer, just think about it.” she adds quickly, her tone much softer and gentler now. Eddie’s mind immediately supplies a picture of Christopher and Buck, just a casual hang-out, like usual, maybe going to the movies, or the aquarium, or the planetarium, something fun for his kid. And later a gathering with the rest of their family, maybe a barbecue at Bobby and Athena’s, with Maddie and Chim, and Hen and Karen, all their kids, just everyone having fun together. Yeah, that’d be a perfect day. “There’s no harm in spending today just like this, if possible. Just in case.” Jane adds, still whispering. He doesn’t tell her that’s more or less his plan, anyway, for the evening after his 12-hour shift. During which nothing will happen to him, because Death-Cast doesn’t know shit. “Well, lastly, Eddie,” Jane’s voice is back at normal-volume, tone strictly professional but sympathetic, as she recites the end of her script, “on behalf of everyone here at Death-Cast, we’re so sorry to lose you. Live this day to the fullest.”
Eddie hangs up without a word.
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no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @911onabc @housewifebuck @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @underwater-ninja-13 @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @nmcggg @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @king-buckley @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @puppyboybuckley @weewootruck @buckaroosheart @spagheddiediaz @steadfastsaturnsrings @exhuastedpigeon @jesuisici33 @theotherbuckley @rainbow-nerdss @malewifediaz @giddyupbuck @diazsdimples @jeeyuns @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @honestlydarkprincess @hippolotamus @spotsandsocks
#tease tidbit tuesday#death cast buddie au#buddie wip#buddie fic#buddie#wikiangela writes#my writing#fic snippet#my wips#angst#buddie angst#mcd#i don't know how yet but eddie will die in this one bc apparently ive been in the mood to break my own heart lmao#i wanted to say maybe i'd share smth happier tomorrow but i don't think i have any happy wips im actively working on rn???#there are happy wips in general but im not really in the mood/inspired for those rn#ran out of happy when i finished the natalia fic i guess lol#who even am i lmao what's with all the angst and sad im usually all about fluff 🤣#(gonna share some more of alive shannon tomorrow!)#btw if you haven't read the books and have questions hmu but also i'll try to make everything clear in the fic lol#but also SO recommend the books they're so good and so sad and I think about them like at least once a week (the prequel wrecked me)
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i need to replay sumo again i need that same comfort that game provided me when i was 16 again
#bwark#i still plan on playing alongside my anipoke rewatch but i might make an exception to alola to play it out of order since the sm anime is#for sure i definitely know i'm watch sub on. that may extend to jn and hz as well but it's definitely for sm and i can't multitask lol#either that or use my sm rewatch to MAYBE PERHAPS give usum another chance#idk it's been 7 years so my memory on it isn't as fresh and i got so annoyed with it i didn't even beat the post game story initially#so if im gonna be a hater about it i want to be accurate. or my opinions of it can improve who knows#i hated age of calamity when it came out in 2020 and while i still have some problems with it i did enjoy revisiting it last year a lot more#so i'm open to changing my opinion who knows. i'll try being more fair and objective than letting my angry 17 year old self possess me again#tldr i just want to replay sm now regardless of what i do after#i should still finish replaying blue first though i still haven't done that lol
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sorry, i'm currently so obsessed with rayllum on the star spire -
"one more?" 🥺
"one more what?"🤭
"you know~" 😏
"i know." 😌
🤧...😠
"aw, don't be mad at sneezles. there'll be more kisses later." 😉
like oh my gosh i can't get over this scene - i'm so happy they're back 🥹 everyone who worked on this scene outdid themselves 10000000/10 thank you for this scene! 😭thank you for feeding me 🥹💖 i'm gonna be thinking about this scene and so many other s6 rayllum scenes for the rest of my life
#rayllum#i can't 😭#tdp s6#tdp#they're too freaking cute#Ahhhhhhhhhhh#her little wink#they way they hold each other#i don't care to be in a relationship#never been much appealing to me#but if it was something like this rayllum moment i would consider more lol#oh my gosh im obsessed with them#how am i supposed to sleep now#their little chuckles#oh my gosh the people who worked on this season especially the rayllum scenes absolutely cooked#they DEVOURED#thank you#seriously one of the best written seasons of tdp#and the rayllum scenes were absolutely some of my favorite of all of tdp#maybe i'll have to rank their moments sometime just for fun#it would be hard because i love so many of their moments#also i haven't been able to screenshot any of the scenes so sorry for lack of pictures 😔#but just know im obsessed#I gotta make some more playlists and graphics ASAP#eventually more video edits but that takes me forever unfortunately#I still haven't finished ones from the first 3 seasons or s4 i started one that really fits them in s4#and s5 too#but hopefully people won't mind if i post them way later when i hopefully actually finish them#even if it's not as relevant anymore 😅#lali talks
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prepping for my Bonus Days. i love tutorial agent lmao
#chemi chats#yknow. last year's ''take sundays off'' made a lot of sense.#october 2023 was PERFECT for skilltober as it was a full four weeks (so six days for each skill type per week plus a day off)#and left two days at the end - the 30th and 31 - for Ancient Reptilian and Limbic. so it worked out really evenly!!#using the same method in 2024 does not yield the same clean results hjkjg it looks. so fucking messy gang hgkjg#but generally you can take any 5 days off? it would make sense to split it at the first any five days in a row.#like how we had five sundays last year. so like if we had five mondays this month we'd do free days on mondays right?#but this months was tuesdays and we all STARTED on tuesday SO LIKE HGKJG OKAY MAN. NOW WHAT HGKJ#i want to be posting the same skills as everyone else everyday but that's a bit much to ask yknow? syncing up is fun but its HARD man hgkjg#the reason why im talking about this is because im NOT taking the free days hgkjg or maybe i'll take one who knows lmao hgkj#but my ''free'' days are: Tutorial Agent with the INTs. Solace with the PSYs. Volta Do Mar with the FYSs. Kinetic Dressage with the MOTs.#and maybe Vices thrown in there? i might make Vices physique and put Volta with the psyches? and make Solace a little bonus end?#because i love her and shes special hgkj but i guess i'll see hkjf but EITHER WAY im gonna be posting on whenever free days are hgkj#so if everyone takes sundays+halloween off (except me because im Fucking Entrenched In This Shit) then thats when i'll post#(even though it'd be messy as hell like. splitting up the skill types hkjg??) maybe it'd make sense to do mondays+halloween so we can#finish a skill type section before taking a break/doing my bonus skills? and it'd even out but that requires coordination hgkjsk#sigh. or for me to accept that we'll all eventually fall out of sync and thats fine hgkj (<- I can be fine with this. It's just messy hkjg)#oh idk :P im gonna take my ''break''/bonus days on mondays+halloween and whatever happens happens <33#(<- assuming im gonna be able to finish a monthly challenge lmaooo) okay ive got a headache lmao goodnight i love you all as always <33
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Stargate SG-1 is so good. I love it so much 🥺
#might spam you over the week. i think i'll use it to get a distance from snw for a while#i mean i'll watch the kirk-uhura episode on friday but maybe kirk will disappoint me and since the episode after is the xover#i might just... wait until the season is finished or something#(i mean i don't think kirk will disappoint me since the bits in the trailers sounded good... but you never know lol)#it's not that season 2 is bad but i want less spock and i don't think that's happening any time soon#hopefully he won't really have a big role in uhura's episode but then again they might finally introduce him and uhura and the lute who even#knows#which is obviously what i have wanted ever since the announcement but me and spock have a complicated relationship atm lol#i should forget about spock#i hope the transporter scene with kirk and la'an is happening#i hope that kirk's smile when he beams aboard is aimed at la'an#even if that was the only scene they'd share in that episode i'd be content#but the trailer could lie to me#even though so far the trailers actually delivered what was 'promised'#in s1 they felt more misleading but this time what i thought was happening in the trailers happened in the show so far#anyway#stargate is good :D#leni's nonsense
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yknow it is crazy to think about how much i have been able to improve my quality of life by selling art as a supplementary form of income. like obviously it's a second job and it's taxing but it's also so rewarding to know how much people enjoy my work and how much good it is doing me to like, feel like i can buy snacks at the store. to be able to get takeout every once in a while. like obviously those are extremely minor changes or things most people take for granted but to me it's huge. having berries in the house when they're out of season and more expensive. buying things for CONVENIENCE??! it feels so crazy to me to have such a sense of luxury which i know says more about the bleak feeling of poverty that's followed me around my entire adult life than anything else but i feel so much gratitude that i am afforded these small luxuries at least in part because of people that like my art. not to mention how nice is is to make things consistently again when, prior to 2020, i hadn't made art regularly in almost a decade. anyway. it's cool!
#of course there are extenuating circumstances! i finished my student loans in 2020 with help from family#i moved to a cheaper place in 2020. i get paid more now than i did then; even though i'm only working four days a week#obviously i am not RICH; i cannot afford to live by myself. housing here is crazy. but i can buy MEAT at the STORE#not only do i have SNACKS in the house i also have MULTIPLE KINDS! do you know how crazy that is.#and now of course a lot of it is combatting my wicked sense of guilt for buying anything i dont 'need'. like snacks.#but obviously i still buy them i just make myself feel bad about it for a while first. lmao#i mean i haven't done my taxes for 2023 yet who knows maybe i'll be hit with some big fees and i'll take this all back#but idk you gotta be grateful. anyway i think i'm gonna order pizza later#chatpost#i used patreon money to buy a new desk chair a couple years ago. a NEW one!! not one from the street!
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