#maybe I'll do more later I don't know
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stuarts-randomplace · 2 years ago
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some ¿edits? i made
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*duck chasing diesel*
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lady and godred got in "trouble"....
and proteus is already done xd
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happy old hook is scared to talk to people
and diesel-10 helps him even though he doesn't like to admit it :D
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donald is talking and douglas is thinking about something else
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silusvesuius · 3 months ago
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testing out drawing maormer 🪸🐚🪸 and a nelvas 🧣📜🩷 i'll ramble about maormer a bit in the tags
#tes#skyrim#my art#do you like my nelvas emojis🧣📜🧣📜 get it? scarf🤗 and scroll🤗 Everything hurts sofucking bad#anyways i talked about them wif my friend quite a bit i basically 'agree' w/ everything that is written about them && their biology in -#- canon; except tes is very much all Talk and no good actual visual presentation of what it's talking about#cus all of the maormer look like garboooo likeee what am i looking @#but since this is just a first test i think i'll keep playing around with their looks later; they are most close to altmer obvi in the -#- sense of how 'mutated' they r. however maormer are more gross looking for the typical human#they do have flat faces and alldat in canon already but i want them to just have nostrils and no real nose bridge#and they have no lips😝 they also have very visible gums. && have anglerfish teeth#what would be fur on other mer is just scales on them and is placed is scattered in the same places#i was thinking of making swimming most comfortable for them so i gave them more fins#they'd have them on arms and legs and the hair on the tail for them is just a big fin🐠#as for hair i'm thinking of them having none of it at all bcos it looks sooooo ugly on them it's very unnerving to see hair on fish#either no hair at all or something with a different texture. like slimy silky thin seaweed#or the hair that m*necraft striders have LMAO#webbed fingers is cuuuute they'd have webbed armpits like they're those flying rodents🐿 lol#i'd place their gills on both the neck and their ribs#whenever they wear clothes they tie their arm and leg fins up ; i think from birth they just stay in water until they hit puberty and -#- r able to actually walk around#another cute fact is that males and females wud look literally the same almost (women are flat chested too)#fish fish fish#maybe i'll rethink some stuff. i still wanna draw fish babies#but in reality i think even the mere existence of maormer is very pointless bc they don't really matter at all do they#tes lore is soooo overstuffed that's why i don't know anything about it my time is so valuable to meLMFAOAOOO#saw a typo in this sorry i'm just chill like that
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darkopsiian · 5 months ago
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yes, i too, like don't starve.
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starry-907 · 5 months ago
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hello ava/avm fandom i bring you stick figure designs and headcanons (fed somewhat by other folks headcanons, i'll admit)
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the text beneath each stick figure is typed out under the cut, if you have any trouble reading it against the bg (esp for the cg, i'm realizing the outline colors aren't the most legible in text)
Green (14), he/him
- perfectionist
- has perfect pitch and will remind you he has perfect pitch when applicable
- will use his eldest sibling privilege for personal gain
- hates silence
- has a few different pairs of headphones
Blue (14), she/her
- had longer hair before avm season 3, it got burned by the lava and had to be cut short
- netherwart is her samefood
- loves tending her farms, finds it very calming
- sometimes still gets pain from the lava
- very good cook, loves to experiment
Yellow (13), she/her
- loves the staff, thinks its so cool
- has trouble getting to sleep sometimes
- squinted a lot before getting glasses
- sometimes a bit too smart for her own good (see: the command block ep, the lucky block ep)
- wants to combine redstone with outernet elevtronics
Red (12), he/him
- can see ghosts after getting possessed by Herobrine
- got another bandana from yellow team
- physically the strongest of the cg (after second)
- can communicate with animals (both inside minecraft and outside it)
- will try to pet any animal
Purple (14), they/them
- will engage in psychological warefare if you play board games with them
- has accidentally flown into a window before, still hasn't lived it down
- cried when they got their bracelet from the cg
- very polite to adults they don't know
- green and blue made them apologize to their village post avm season 3
Vic~~tim~~ (22), they/she
- voice is often quiet, when they get loud thats when you know they're mad
- covers their creator mark, it's on their wrist
- terribly nearsighted
- doesn't tell people her full name (for good reason, at least in her eyes)
- tries to maintain a put-together look for her company
Chosen (21), they/he
- tends to burn clothes on accident when flying, has kinda given up on keeping it from happening much
- will try to eat most anything once
- not much of a talker
- farsighted, but doesn't realize they need glasses
- neutral towards Alan
Dark (16), he/they
- doesn't have the code anymore, still a menace
- focuses more on if he could than if he should when making things
- has contacts that they made themself
- will sleep in the most uncomfy-looking positions
- can tolerate any level of spice no problem
Second (12), they/them
- usually eepy
- nearsighten, doesn't mind having glasses cuz they get to match Alan
- anxious when seperated from their friends
- nitpicks animation errors in movies
- still learning how to use their powers
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puppetmaster13u · 1 year ago
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Meat Marionette #11?
Thinkin about the rogues in this Au, and like, the difference between their relationship with the bats vs this Au. 
 For example, Selina. I’ll admit I take a bit of inspiration from the 2022 movie and mix it with comic depictions along with the different cartoons, which honestly isn’t too different from each other by too much. Now, I don’t think that Catwoman would flirt with this version of Batman, what with his body being a meat puppet that is visibly not human and off putting. There’s also the fact that she would have been an early-ish rogue of his, at least in order of encounters. Which means that she probably encounters the Bat for the first time while Bruce was still getting used to said gifted body, which in turn was probably terrifying. So there’s still a cat and mouse game happening, but it’s more akin to Selina doing her darn best to avoid the Bat no matter what, because to her it isn’t above trying to kill. It’s like seeing a lion where you figure you’re safe at this distance, until it starts moving and you realize that you are definitely not far enough away. 
 Another rogue that I am thinking of is Harvey and Two-Face (Which DC, give Two-Face a proper name :/ he’s his own dude even if they share a body). Harvey was best friends with Bruce, hell they were practically high-school sweethearts in some cases! And Bruce still visits him in Arkham, canonically still talks and interacts with both his friend and TF. Now if anyone is going to notice the changes to Bruce, it’s going to be Harvey. He’s going to be the first to notice how Bruce’s movements are now dangerous and downright predatory, with too much grace even for a dancer or martial artist. There’s something familiar about that movement, and Harvey isn’t an idiot, TF isn’t one either. They know there’s something wrong with Bruce even if he insists he’s fine. In canon Harvey straight up broke down and cried when he found out Bruce was Batman, so I’m wondering what their reaction to this version of the bat would be…
 There’s also rogues like the Riddler and the Joker who are downright obsessed with Batman, but would they still be with this one? I could see Joker slowly becoming obsessed as the creatures continue to thwart him over and over again, but I’m still rotating Riddler. 
 But y’know who would definitely be obsessed with the batclan?
Scarecrow. The man is obsessed with studying fear, with the effects it has and how to cause it. So the bats, who bring terror wherever they go, with something about them continuously tingling at the back of ones’ more instinctive mind that this is something to fear? He would be utterly enthralled, he’d need to know more, he’d need to know Everything. Especially if his fear toxin doesn’t work right on them. After all, how would a gas effect something without lungs? How can you inject something that doesn’t have blood, that’s not quite alive, not in the way that we as humans understand? How can you cause fear of something that has stared into the Tunnels’ heart and lived? Or something like that lol. 
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AU is a combo of my cryptid batfam and @phoenixcatch7 's Possessed Doll au, go check them out, they're amazing
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angelsdean · 6 months ago
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ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.
#it's usually when they randomly drop some line of fanon. like saying dean has never admitted to being wrong in his life#or never expressed an emotion or been vulnerable or doesn't Talk About Feelings or is super duper RepressedTM#like i'm sorry. have you watched the show. oh and have you taken off the sammy POV goggles first?#bc this guy is always crying and being vulnerable and talking about his feelings. he is self-aware.#he may not always want to talk to sam abt things! but he sure does talk about things with other people#do i need to reblog the compilation posts AGAIN?#(also re: his sexualiy? AWARE. sorry i saw him flirt and be flustered by so many men. he knows how he feels.)#and then 'first time ever admitting to being wrong' this one came from a post abt dean's prayer in the trap#like i'm sorry but first of all. dean apologizes more than any other character on the show. there are hard numbers on this.#people have tracked this on spreadsheets. i think ilarual is one of them.#and often he is apologizing for things that aren't even his fault! but he still feels responsible for bc he's been made to feel that way#his whole life!!#other characters *cough samandcas *cough* apologizing Less doesn't mean they've Done less things wrong#it just means they're not owning up to it and brushing it under the rug. something both do frequently.#anyways. aside from apologies. dean also has no problem admitting he's wrong y'know when he's actually wrong#which is less often than you'd think bc he has pretty good instincts and intuition and often suspects things which turn out to be Right#but anyways. another thing abt the trap prayer is. i don't think cas Needed to be forgiven#i think dean was justified in feeling angry w cas over the circumstances leading to the Death of His Mother! totally normal grief response!#i think cas also understands dean to be someone who needs time to process and deal with his feelings (he says as much to jack)#however. despite me not think dean Needs to forgive cas. the thing is. with dean when it comes to cas the forgiveness is implicit#when he says /of course i forgive you/ and in the cut like /of course i wanted you to stay/ like. yes he was mad and dealing with grief#but also. yes cas was already forgiven even back then. he just needed Time to work through the feelings#anyways i think dean says he 'forgives' cas bc it's what CAS needed to hear to stop feeling guilty and dean gives him that closure#but i also think cas was already forgiven even in dean's anger. he wants him there always. i'd rather have you. we can fix this. etc etc#a lot of tags for a non-rebloggable post ajksdfs maybe i'll make these into a real post sometime#vic.txt#dean and feelings#so i can find this all again later
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amelikos · 11 days ago
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Gibeon ruining his relationships partly out of grief over what happened in the past with Lucius, or Gibeon acting the way he does and doing everything because he knows exactly the type of man Lucius is, and knows he won't break a promise or die so easily, and believes he is still alive out there somewhere..
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cuteniarose · 3 months ago
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The consequences of my poor financial decisions are here!!
#blame Kat for this lmao. she got the Yangchen novels first and I very easily give in to peer pressure (that wasn't exerted. but whatever)#three days earlier than scheduled too. which worked out perfectly bc I picked them up on the way home from grandma's#and carried them for 2 km. 2 hardcover books + the thick cardboard boxset they're in#+ the backpack full of food my grandma gave me#in the rain#I nearly fucking died#I'm not made for this level of physical exercise 😅#okay moving on#nia stop calling things like this poor financial decisions challenge#it cost like. the equivalent of 40 bucks#I have 30 times as much hidden away in my sock drawer#and I am usually responsible with my spending. I'm allowed a slightly more expensive treat every once in a while#also my dad doesn't know but I'm sure if I would him 'hey I spent 3.8k on a pair of books is that okay'#he'd be like 'why tf are you asking when have I ever said no to you spending money'#but again. I do try to be mindful#which is why as much as I want the lok art books and could probably ask for money for them. I won't#bc they cost an arm and a leg and I cannot morally allow myself to spend that kind of money#anyway. getting distracted again#do you know how hard it was to get these? I checked like 3 marketplaces before I did#and I was fully ready to get them in russian because non-classical english books are impossible to come by here#sanctions and all that. but somehow I did. and it only cost half the money in my bank account#I don't even know if Russian editions exist. these books were written before the war and before the gay propaganda ban but still#I didn't find them when I looked. maybe they don't sell them now that the law is in place or smth#I don't really care enough to look it up#the point is. I now own the books and can happily read about best girl kyoshi whenever I want#if the stress for an upcoming event doesn't kill me. that is#also I have read rok before but it was 3 years ago so my memory is vague. and I just realised how much thinner sok is?#I'll have to check the page count later
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notonlymice · 5 months ago
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the best girls (my opinion) (movies only)
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keeps-ache · 3 months ago
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oo midnight beauty [opening the container] how romantic (stealing grapes)
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silusvesuius · 2 months ago
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g*lmar rly has to be the best skajrim character on the real like even if you don't like him he just is . literally The best one i think......... on dat note i also imagine that he and ulfr*c despite being fairydust BFFs for lyfe genuinely have the worst communication skills ever seen
#text#but i already talked about how g*lmar is weird about ulfr*c anyways#literally jubilant and feeling special cus he's the only person ulfr*c actually trusts and speaks to outside of formal conversations#he's a very manly man too (like N*loth) for wanting to just control everything... well actually having ulfr*c under 'control' is enough 4 -#- him. unlike n*loth who wants to be above everything that moves. literally not about him tho#i hope that other st*rmcloaks develop a habit of going to hide downstairs in the palace whenever they can tell the vibe between -#- g*lmar and ulfr*c is off because they're gonna be yelling at each other and throwing shit around for 40 minutes in a few seconds#i don't believe they'd fight insanely often but being at an active war probably gets them heated more. Often than usual; and their -#- conflicts are never resolved. i feel like they just don't talk to each other for a good 2 days and act like nothing happened#they're way too manly and prideful to actually let the other one 'win' so they just don't say anything ever post-arguing#Tbhs g*lmar actually really likes that ulfr*c is so unstable and harrowed because it makes himself feel very good and reliable -#- but he has his limits 😂LMFAOO i bet sometimes he gets really tired of him being so traumatized. very rarely but he does think about it#i'll have to desribe that a bit better later tho... don't know how to word it atm#but maybe he wants to punch him or something BYE. no...... 💔savage as hell#he likes it in a very general sense of ulfr*c's personality especially between them but doesn't like it when it causes them to clash#this might just be mostly ulfr*c's doing cus i doubt he's actually talkative about his past issues and Troubles (torture mayhem) and -#- can't communicate anything about it or set boundaries when needed. he just gets mad or very avoidant. No fixing that tho#well it's just shameful to him so he'd rather do nothing than even admit anything to anyone Everrrrr#why does his life suck so bad LMFAOOOOOOOOO#their nasty musty mutualism .. leeching off your traumatized Bff so that he can make you feel good by saying he needs you in particular#while U pay him back with some support.......SOME#Oh well#that zero communication between some sk*rim characters looks yammy as fuck to me. A;lways. ALWAYS#nelvas is power dynamic induced...... g*lmar&&ulfr*c trauma-caused... elituli Um😂 t*llius doesn't even know any hobbies she has#bye this is why they're serving so hard
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magentagalaxies · 6 months ago
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vent incoming:
got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!
#honestly it's kind of hilarious ngl. especially bc i also got my documentary work counted as an independent study the previous semester#and the previous semester even tho i barely worked on the doc itself#(mostly just planning and putting together the crowdfunding which was still a lot of work but like compare it to the past few months)#they were willing to give me an A (my school doesn't do A+ so this is the highest mark possible)#vs this semester. like i'll admit my final assignment was late and could have been more polished#but i was literally on tour in documentary-mode 24/7 for several weeks. i filmed an entire comedy special! i put together a live interview!#not to mention having to fucking negotiate with my own college censoring the footage they'd promised me of an event i put together#and play nice with a professor who literally outed me on twitter in an attempt to cancel one of my best friends#at this point the ''B'' feels more like a petty grudge than anything else#like ok we can't get away with *actually* fucking over jessamine's grades bc clearly ze did do the work. but let's just give zir a B#like i will admit the audio quality in my final isn't great. and i could have used more polished footage in some sections#but counterpoint: 100+ students were arrested at a protest while i was editing and i was having a mental breakdown#the fact that i finished *anything* is goddamn impressive especially after they essentially conditioned me to hate myself any time i was#working on a project i loved!!!#due to the aforementioned student arrests my college did put out an option where we could change any letter grade this semester to pass/fai#so anything passing wouldn't impact our gpa if we didn't want it to. so i could just change the B to a ''pass''#but really what's the point. ''B'' is still a good grade and my GPA is fine (3.65 on a 4.0 grading scale. 2.0 is required to graduate)#it just sucks that after what i went through last semester i feel like nobody takes it seriously#i was reminiscing earlier about how it's honestly kind of funny how after that professor outed me on twitter#i was at the hotel with scott like an hour later sobbing and having an existential crisis about my relationship to gender#and scott was so supportive but also awkwardly being like#''i know i should offer the crying child a tissue but where the fuck are the tissues in this room what do i do''#and he just handed me a full-on towel instead like oh my god he was trying his best but also so clearly out of his depth#but of course i then had to remember how when i told that story to a different professor to be like ''this is how much scott cares about me#this guy called me fucking UNPROFESSIONAL for crying in front of the subject of my documentary?????????#like yeah maybe so but how DARE you call me unprofessional when a different professor tweeted my full name and gender without my consent#in an attempt to fucking cancel one of my friends for ''misgendering'' me for using pronouns i'm fine with him using!!!#i don't think i'm ever going to be able to forgive my college and i don't know how i'll be able to get through one more semester#that experience genuinely changed things about my psychology that i'm not proud of and i need to work through#so if i have to miss a goddamn kids in the hall event because i have class this november i am going to set something on fire
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medicinemane · 5 months ago
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Should make a pain killer that actually kills (or even touches) pain
#not that I have access to ultra hardcore stuff#but even when I had... pretty sure it was vicodine for my wisdom teeth; it didn't do a thing for me#cbd based stuff seems like it maybe helps; certainly does more than nsaids which do nothing for pain (great for inflammation though)#but I just... I'd really like something that actually makes my muscles and joints feel like... good; unpain#I'm sure it would be classified as addictive whatever it was but like... fuck man... I just want to not hurt#I can't tell if I have chronic pain cause... I kinda forget to pay attention when I'm hurting a lot of the time#I'll just... kinda realize I've been hurting bad all day and just not really focusing on it#and I also don't know how often it happens; if it's once a day or once a month or what; not great at noting that stuff down#but man... I don't even like most meds; so many meds either do nothing for me or make me feel like shit#like... benedril? however you spell it; someone gave me some once said it would help me sleep... help me be awake feeling like ass more lik#but like... love to see if muscle relaxants actually like... relaxed my muscles; but you get it; you get why I'll never be able to try it#though honestly I think therapeutic massage might help me a lot#but my doc says that really only gets authorized by physical therapy and... well for me physical therapy is useless#cause I forget to do the exercise; like it's me failing a physical therapy; not a probably with physical therapy#if I ever think I can keep up with it I'd love to try physical therapy for my back again; but I don't want to waste all my chances at it#not when... I descriptively didn't do it when I was in it before; I'd never remember to do any of the exercises#anyway; bonus story from when I was in urgent care when the infection came back (that's still never been solved)#I tell the doc 'last time it tore open a drainage hole it was the worst pain I've ever felt'... cause it was#I said 'I'll need something a bit stronger than an nsaid cause the nsaid did nothing but cut inflammation last time'#she's like 'don't worry; I got you'... wanna guess what she gave me? a newer nsaid#it didn't do shit; I was just lucky and it wasn't as painful... maybe the old drainage hole tore open easier this time#but I didn't even take the nsaid she prescribed; so I'm gonna say it wasn't that med helping#like I get it; you don't want to give opioids... and would it shock you to know that wasn't what I was looking for either#there's gotta be something between nsaid and fentynol man#...well... maybe the cdb has almost got my muscles... hurting less at least; only taken all this time I've been writing#they still hurt for sure... I don't know... get tired; you know?#mm tag so i can find things later
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mintjeru · 11 months ago
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in honor of us being blessed w/ more gaming leaks today: i've been contemplating his favorite dim sum dish for a while and finally decided on one >:D
cw for mentions of game leaks and food under the cut!
there are so many dim sum dishes to choose from so i basically had to hone in on one by ruling out categories
also i'm assigning him a fav dim sum dessert bc i feel like desserts deserve their own category ><
first of all, i intentionally did not consider larger dishes, such as salted fish fried rice, crispy soy sauce fried noodles, etc., bc technically you can get those at any chinese restaurant, not just a dim sum one
second, i'm excluding expensive dishes you'd typically only see at banquets, such as crab, lobster, etc., bc i'm trying to hc a dish he'd be able to order often when he goes out in a party of 4
third, since canto food is generally light and mild, i think he'd prefer this type of cuisine over food w/ strong spices or flavors. that isn't to say he can't handle or doesn't enjoy stronger tasting food, but i think milder dishes are what he'd go for if he wanted comfort food
now. since he has to stay in shape for his guard duty and performances, i don't think he'd like having fried food often. i think he'd prefer smth lighter so he wouldn't feel sluggish. this would exclude fried calamari, xo sauce stir fried cheung fun, fried pumpkin w/ salted egg yolk, etc.
i'm gonna rule out vegetable dishes too (sorry vegetables!!) bc even though they're good, they're typically not the highlight of dim sum
moving on to other dishes, i'm ruling out har gow and siu mai (don't come at me for this) bc of the fact that they're standard dim sum dishes. yes, they're yummy and are telling of the quality of the dim sum restaurant, but i don't think he'd say they're his Favorite dish out of all the options. i have nothing against har gow and siu mai ok, it's just that i don't think he'd pick one of those as his top favorite bc it's standard to order them every time you get dim sum anyway.
even after ruling all these dishes out, there are still a lot left at this point. so, to make my life easier and bc i felt like it, i decided to hc that gaming likes sweet food. you may ask why and my answer is 1. bc i can, 2. bc it would be gap moe of him to have an energetic, fiery personality while preferring gentle sweets, and 3. bc i can. again bc it's canto cuisine, it's mild sweetness he's looking for.
after deciding on this, the two dishes that came to mind were char siu bao and phoenix claws. it's really funny that i thought of char siu bao bc judging by the look of gaming's recently leaked specialty dish, it's steamed char siu bao.
additional hc: i think he really likes char siu bao, and if he had to pick he'd go for the steamed kind rather than the baked kind bc it's soft and fluffy. interestingly enough, i decided on this prior to the leaks about his specialty dish, the description of which says it's steamed. mhy and i are on the same wavelength fr.
that being said. i'm gonna rule out char siu bao specifically because it's food you can eat on the go. because the story blurb in gaming's drip marketing says he spends his leisure time at the dim sum restaurant, i think he'd want to order smth he doesn't usually get to eat and smth he can take his time enjoying.
in conclusion, i think his favorite dim sum dish would be phoenix claws, which fits those two criteria. it's sweet, a dish that you can only get at dim sum restaurants, and he can take his time savoring it.
as for his favorite dim sum dessert, i had an easier time deciding bc i decided on the steamed char siu bao preference hc beforehand. i'm gonna go with the steamed custard buns bc they have a gentle sweetness and are also soft and fluffy. do you see my vision here? it's all coming together.
thank you for coming to my ted talk, i love him a lot as you can see
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reminiscentrainclouds · 2 days ago
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You guys ever feel trapped? Yea I'm well-acquainted with the feeling of being trapped.
#*text#talk about unpleasant#sorry for only posting textposts here lately. I Forgot how I use this blog.#Also I'm gonna use this as an excuse to vent in the tags about something that's been bothering me today.#I hate days where it feels like I can't be the same person for even. idk. an hour?#I was gonna say just a general statement of 'I hate how I can't feel like the same person for more than an hour' but then I realized it onl#particularly bothered me today so maybe it's just a sometimes thing. throws hands up in the air I WOUDLN'T KNOW#It's just...nothing I do throughout the day matches. i keep starting new things only to forget about them (or forget how much I cared#about them) and try something else later. resulting in a long line of unfinished stuff and frustration.#I keep trying to come up with new conclusions/solutions to problems I've run through my head a million times already.#problems I didn't know I had or forgot about pop up etc.#I'll be doing fine and then I'll just feel stranded out of nowhere with no idea why and trying to figure out if this is normal for me.#I've felt stranded all day.#it's just ugh. i'm so confused. it's been a day i guess.#all the words i write feel kinda foreign to me sometimes. short term memory problems I guess. ✌️#but also I feel very very locked in a really limited worldview. or just like. my world feels very small like tunnel vision kind of thing an#for that reason it just feels like it'll go on the same forever and ever and ever. which is a very scary thought.#idk if my logical 'well that obviously isn't the case. things will change eventually' rebuttal is good enough to go against it.#so there you go I wrapped it all back to the point of the post: feeling trapped. yayyy#i don't mean to make myself sound so sad and pitiful. usually i'm doing fine and bad things kinda just don't register in my brain#but there are Secret Evil Feelings inside me that I don't even know about and sometimes I like to poke them with a stick.
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loverboybrightsideghost · 2 months ago
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transgenderism dilemma
in the vein of that last post, i'm not sure what to do about my straight cis friends who keep referring to me as she. they are very supportive and they try their best to understand and i appreciate them so so much!!! but when i have other friends (some also trans and some cis but queer) who do make the effort to call me he or they (which i retired a while ago lowkey) , it's just kind of glaring when some of my friends still call me "she."
i know i told them any pronouns are fine and it doesn't bother me, but it kind of does. i don't want to go by "he" full-time, mostly because i'm more than a little nervous of being accidentally outed to people i'm not ready to be out to (my parents or some of my professors). but they're my friends. but i also know that if i tell these friends to call me "he" or even "they" (which still annoys me but at least gets them to acknowledge i am trans), i run a serious risk of them Not Understanding in front of someone i don't wanna be out to.
should i be this worried? should i have to go back and forth mentally about whether it's worth it to get gendered correctly by certain people when i know those people might potentially and completely accidentally out me?
i don't know. is it worth it? is it? to be gendered correctly or not to be. to be content with "they (sometimes) got the spirit." hm.
what do i DO??? do i even do anything?? AUGHHH!!!
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