#maybe I’ll share the original story boards and whatnot

[0m3n-0f-d3ath]

Gods favorite idiot has a nightmare<3

A little less then two months and 180 frames🐠

[serendipitous-magic]

What is your writing advice for young people who want to write fanfiction and original stories in the near future?

If this is just Way Too Much, skip to the end (#16). My most important piece of advice is there. I also happen to think #5 is pretty good.

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1) Literally just write. Write whatever you want, and do a lot of it.

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2) You don’t have to post everything. In fact you don’t have to post anything. You can, don’t get me wrong, but it can be intimidating to sit down and think “I will now write something that other people will see and read and judge with their eyeballs.” Because that’s probably gonna lead to nerves and writer's block. Just write down the ideas that you have, the things you want to write, whatever’s in your brain that you want to explore and expand upon and make into something. And then if you want to, share it. Or don’t share it. I have plenty of half-baked ideas and documents and random story chapters and shit hidden away on my Google Drive that will never see the light of day, for a whole number of reasons. I wanted to write it but it wasn’t ~Spicy~ enough to warrant posting, or it’s only like an eighth of a good idea, or it’s like one scene with no story around it, or it’s just something incredibly self-indulgent I just wanted to write for my own enjoyment.

Point being, don’t write for other people. Don’t write so that other people can read it; write what you want, write for yourself, and then if you want to share it, do.

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3) You can pretty much ignore any and all of these for fanfiction. In fact, you can ignore pretty much any rules or guidelines you want for fanfiction. Fanfic is a sandbox. You don’t have to be a “professional writer” to post fic. No one expects you to be Stephen King or Margaret Atwood. Fanfic is just for playing in a fandom and having fun. If you wanna write a 50 chapter slow burn with very little plot aside from the OTP slowly getting to know each other, and no real stakes or central conflict, I guarantee people would read that. Really, fanfiction is the Old West of writing: lawless, wild, unpredictable, and free.

However, here are the rules you must follow:

-Separate your paragraphs. (I’m sure you know this already, but I’m gonna say it anyway just in case.) Do not post one big block of text. Make a paragraph break when someone new is talking, when the characters are in a new place, when a new event occurs that changes the scene, when a chunk of time has passed, and when there’s a major change in subject.

-I know it’s obvious, but... grammar, punctuation, and capitalization. They exist to make writing easy for readers to read, and more people will read your stuff if they don’t have to stop and try to figure out what you meant.

-Use tags and labels, as is possible with whatever site you’re using. Especially if you include possibly triggering content in your story. Again, I know it’s obvious, but it’s common courtesy. Bonus: tagging the themes and content of your story helps readers find it and read it :)

-If possible, limit the use of all-caps and exclamation marks / question marks. 99% of the time, one ! or one ? will do. If you overload the page with a lot of all-caps and long rows of exclamation marks or question marks, it hampers readability.

... That’s literally all I can think of. And, like I said, it’s all pretty basic stuff. You were probably rolling your eyes like, “Uh, yeah, Gwen, I know.” But that’s literally it. You can pretty much do whatever you want in fanfic.

That being said, here’s my advice for both fanfiction and original work...

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4) A quick and dirty rule for coming up with a plot, starting a story, keeping up pacing, or maintaining tension: figure out what dreams, desires, and goals are nearest and dearest to your main character’s heart (see #16). Then set up the main conflict to be directly in opposition to that goal. It doesn’t have to be in a tangible way, though it could be. But, if your main character wants more than anything to reach the ships on the southern coast of your world and sail to a new life, make sure the main conflict immediately prevents them from doing that - in fact, make sure to send them north. If your main character just wants to keep their loved ones safe, kidnap the loved ones. If your main character just wants to date their best-friend-turned-crush, make sure they think they have no chance - or, make them cocky about it, and make sure it makes Person B determined not to ever like them. You get it. Figure out what your character most wants, and then keep them from having that. Boom - your conflict now ties in with your character's motivation. It's like instant yeast for plots.

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5) If you’re anything like me, you want your first draft to be Good, despite all that advice about how the first draft doesn’t have to be good and it’s just to get words on the page, yadda yadda. And if you’re somewhat of a perfectionist (like myself), it’s easy to get stuck looking at a blank page because you don’t have The Perfect Words, and you want what you write to be Good the first time.

Here’s how I cheat that:

Instead of trying to write a Good First Draft from a blank page, hit the enter key a few times, skip a little down on the page, change your ink to red (or blue, or whatever - just something immediately identifiable as Not Black) and just thought vomit. Write whatever the hell you’re thinking, exactly as you think it. Don’t worry about it being readable, don’t worry about narrative flow for now, don’t worry about covering all the details, don’t worry about anything except either a) getting all the details of your idea out onto the page, whether that’s a lot or whether it’s just a sentence or two, or b) if you don’t have an idea yet, finding your way there.

Because this method is also very good for finding your way to ideas when you’re stuck in writer’s block.

Because of how human brains work, getting this stuff out onto the page - in all its messy, stream-of-consciousness glory - will likely spark more thoughts. As you write your original idea about the scene, it’ll likely spark more ideas. Creation begets creation. If you just start thought-vomiting your ideas onto the page, chances are you’ll think of more things as you go, and you’ll start filling out description or dialogue or tone or action or whatever, and pretty soon the scene starts writing itself.

Not sure where you’re going with the scene or which ideas you wanna use? Use a lot of ambivalent language in your “thought-vomit draft.” My pre-writing notes are chock-full of the words “maybe,” “perhaps,” and the phrases, “At some point...” and “...or something like that.” In this way, I don’t tie myself down to one idea; it’s just an idea, and I’m keeping it on the page in case I use it, but I might chuck it in the trash or change it or whatever.

And then, once your ideas for the scene (or story, or chapter, or whatever) are on the page, then go back to the top and start translating them into a “real” first draft. Use black ink, and start copy-pasting chunks of the thought-vomit up into the top part of the document and translating them into Draft 1. Separate out paragraphs where paragraph breaks should be. Add the correct punctuation and whatnot. Change “describe the lobby here - include potted plants, fancy carpet, blood stain, etc.” into an actual description of the lobby. Flesh it out, or condense, or whatever it needs. And if you’re still stuck, change back to red ink and ramble some more until you find a path that feels right, then plug that in. This keeps you from looking at a blank page, and it allows you to generate a kind of Draft 0.5, somewhere between a plan and a first draft.

You don’t have to use every idea. Like I said, jot down whatever comes to mind, put a “maybe” before or after it, and keep working. If the idea grabs you and you wanna keep expanding on it and exploring it, cool. If you just wanna jot it down so you don’t forget it and then move on, also cool. Red-ink draft / “thought-vomit draft” is your time to jump around in the timeline, add or finesse details at whatever point your brain moves to, etc. Don’t try to do it exactly in story order, because you will get tangential thoughts and ideas, and you will not remember to write them down five pages later when you finally get to taking notes on that scene. Trust me. On that note...

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6) Write everything down the moment you think of it. Seriously.

“I’ll remember it when I get around to writing that scene in a couple days / weeks / months (/years).”

You won’t.

Write it down.

Phone, journal, google docs - hell, my family regularly laughs at me for grabbing a napkin during dinner and scribbling thoughts down alongside pasta sauce stains.

And then, once you have it written down somewhere...

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7) Consolidate your writing ideas in one place.

Maybe this isn’t really your style, and that’s totally chill.

Buuuut, if you’re Type-A like me - or if you tend to be somewhat unorganized and you know you’ll lose track of your writing notes if they’re scattered across multiple notebooks, journals, napkins, phone notes, etc. - having one consolidated document of notes is a life saver. I keep mine on Google Docs so I can access it, add to it, and look through it for inspiration anywhere at any time. When I have one of those Shower Thoughts that I jot down on my phone or on a napkin during dinner, I set myself a reminder on my phone to type it up in my Story Ideas document later.

(Or, if the idea I had was for a story of mine that I’ve already started planning / drafting / whatever, I put it in the document for that story instead of the Big Random Story Ideas doc. You get it.)

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8) Have other ways to collect and save writing ideas, besides just writing stuff down. If you like Pinterest, make pinterest boards of your characters or stories or settings or whatever. If you’re big into playlists, make a playlist for your character / setting / story / etc. Or both. Or something else. I’m not good at drawing, but maybe you are, and maybe you like to draw your ideas. Whatever form it takes, having another way to save ideas and think about your stories is invaluable.

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9) Some writers can just start writing with no idea where the story is going, and they just kind of figure it out as they go. I envy those writers. And I do that sometimes for fanfiction, where the stakes are somewhat lower and the audience is reading more for scene-to-scene enjoyment (and to see their OTP kiss) than for a Driving And Compelling Narrative.

But here’s the thing: especially if you’re just kind of starting out, writing without some sort of plan is really, really hard, and will likely lead you into a slow, meandering narrative that will likely frustrate you.

Even if you think you’re someone that just can’t write with a plan (and again, I have the highest respect for pansters out there - I don’t know how you do it, you crazy bastards, but you keep doing you) - even if you think “I can’t work with plans, they’re too prescriptive, I just want to write and see what happens -”

Try at least making the most skeletal of plans.

Even if you have no clue what 90% of the story is, yet. That’s fine. But you need to have some idea of what you’re building to, even if that’s nothing more specific than a feeling, or a turning point for your character. Even if your entire plan for everything beyond Chapter 1 is, “At some point, Charlie needs to realize that Ed was lying to her.”

This is where those Draft 0.5 notes come in handy. Because, more than likely, working on your current scene that way will spark ideas for later scenes, which you can put down at the bottom of the document and save for when they become relevant. In my experience, the line between planning ahead and making a Draft 0.5 is exceptionally thin. One can quickly turn into the other.

If you’re really, really resistant to the idea of planning ahead, that’s okay. It’s not everybody’s style. But for the love of all that is holy, write down your ideas for future scenes, even if you’re a person that doesn’t like to plan and writes only in story order, because you will not remember that idea once you get to that scene.

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10) You don’t have to write in order.

Here’s the thing: I’m a person that can only do my Draft 1 in story order (meaning, chronological order). I just have to be in that flow; I need to write in story order for me to best channel where the character is at from scene to scene, both narratively and emotionally.

But my Thought Vomit Draft is another thing entirely. By using the brain hack of putting my notes in red (or another color, it doesn’t matter) and going down to the bottom of the document / page and taking notes there, and then integrating them into whatever plan I have, and then translating them into Draft 1 once I get there in the story - by doing that, I can get my good ideas onto the page (and expound upon them and let my muse carry me and ride that momentum while I’m in the moment of inspiration) without writing out of order.

Maybe that’s just me. But if you’re a person who really prefers to write in story order, that could be hugely helpful to you. It is to me.

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11) Emotion and motivation will do more for your story than technicalities of plot.

If your characters really care about something, and their journey through the (shaky or weak) plot is emotionally engaging, it will be a much more compelling story than a story with a “perfect” plot and unrelatable or unmotivated characters.

If your characters care about what they’re doing, and it means something to them, and their goals and actions are driven by dreams or fears or emotions that are integral to who they are, your audience will care too. If you have a perfectly crafted plot that hits all the right beats and has high stakes and fast pacing and drama - but your characters don’t connect with what’s happening in a way that’s deeply meaningful or emotional for them? You’re gonna have a hard time engaging readers.

When in doubt, prioritize character emotion and motivation over plot. Emotion is what drives story.

This power is highly exploitable. (Just look at pulp novels and shitty but entertaining movies.) You can even use it to glaze over plot holes or reinvigorate a limp narrative. Use it that way sparingly, though. It’s a band-aid, not a surgery. 

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12) Evil villains are hard to write - mostly because there are very few truly evil people in the world. (There are a few. Billionaires and several big name politicians come to mind.) But by and large, there aren’t that many evil people. There are plenty of bad people, but bad people have some good in them, somewhere in there. Trying to write an evil villain is hard, because they often turn very cartoony.

Here’s a tip: it’s much easier to write antagonists who aren’t evil. Even if they’re bad people. Of course, there’s no reason you can’t write a villain that’s just truly evil - a serial killer, or an abuser, or a billionaire, or someone who legit just wants to hurt people or blow up the earth or stay in control of an oppressed population, or whatever. But chances are, it’s gonna be really hard to make them feel real, and even harder to create a plot around them that doesn’t feel forced or contrived.

Instead, try writing an antagonist / villain whose motivations and goals directly clash with your protagonist’s - but not because they want to take over the world or see people suffer. Write an antagonist who’s chaotic good, but whose perception of the situation is completely opposite from your hero’s. Write an antagonist whose only desire is to save people, and who will do anything to achieve that goal - anything. Write an antagonist who believes in the letter of the law, and will hinder and oppose the hero’s methods even if they agree with the hero’s motivation. Write an antagonist who got in way over their head and did some things they regret, and now they don’t know how to get out, and they’re doing their best but whatever they set in motion is too powerful for them to stop now.

Write villains who are human. Write a killer who thought they were doing the right thing by taking their victim out of the equation, who vomits at the sight of the body and sobs over the grave they dig. Write a government leader who truly believes she’s doing what’s best for her people in the long-term, even if it might hurt them in the short term, and is willing to endure the hatred and belligerence of the masses if it means securing what she thinks is a better future for her people. Write a teenage bully that thinks they’re the one being picked on by the world, and they’re just fighting back, standing their ground. Write a scientist who will break any code of ethics and hurt anyone he needs to - in order to bring back his baby sister from the grave, because he promised her he’d protect her and he failed. Write an antagonist who is selfish and self-centered and capricious - because in order to survive they had to look out for Number One, and that habit ain’t about to break anytime soon.

Write villains who aren’t even villains. Write antagonists who oppose the hero because of moral differences. Write antagonists who are trying to do the right thing. Write antagonists who treat the heroes with kindness and dignity and respect and gentleness.

They don’t have to be good. They don’t have to be Misunderstood Sweethearts who “deserve” a redemption arc. They can be cruel and nasty and dismissive and callous and violent and etc. etc.

Just hesitate before you make them Evil-with-a-capital-E. Because evil is hard to write, and honestly, boring to read. Flawed human beings with goals and motivations that directly oppose the main characters’ are much easier to write and much more interesting to read.

Ask why. Why is your villain trying to take over the world? What does that even mean? Are they trying to create a Star-Trek-like post-capitalism utopia, but they know that won’t happen in a million lifetimes, so they’re trying to do it by force? Are they actually super in favor of human rights, but they got very impatient waiting for the world to do anything about poverty and war, so they decided to take it into their own hands? Are they determined to fix the world - no matter the cost? Are they terrified and overwhelmed, but committed to see it through to the end? Or - maybe they’re just doing it on a dare. Maybe they don’t really give a shit about world domination, they were just a mediocre rich white guy who decided to fuck around and find out, and now he’s kind of curious how far he can take this thing. And now he’s kind of an internationally-wanted criminal, so he’s kind of stuck living on his hidden private island in his multi-billion dollar secret base, strapping lasers to sharks’ heads for the hell of it. Gross, selfish, uncaring, and dangerous? For sure. Evil? Depends on your definition. See, now we’re getting somewhere.

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13) It’s tempting to let the plot control the characters. It’s easy to drop your characters into a situation and see how they react. But here’s the thing: that doesn’t drive plot. In fact, it bogs down pacing. Instead, try to build you plot off of your characters’ actions and decisions. Let your character build their own situation. Not to say it should go they way they wanted it to go; in fact, usually, their grand plans should go to hell very quickly. But having the characters take action and make decisions, and letting the plot develop based on that, is much easier to make compelling than making a rigid series of events and then trying to herd your characters into them.

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14) Having trouble justifying a character’s actions? Consider having them make the opposite decision, or having them approach the situation in a different way. For example: you need your character to go meet the bad guy, for plot reasons, even though there’s no way it’s not a trap. If the character goes, readers are gonna be groaning with their head in their hands, because c’mon man, that was really fucking stupid. But he’s gotta go, because the plot needs that. Two ways you might handle this: a) He knows it’s probably a trap. He decides not to go. The plot conspires to get him near the villain anyway. Or, b) He knows it’s a trap. But he needs to go, for (insert reasons here). So, he approaches it in an unexpected way. He brings backup, recruiting a side character we met earlier in the story. Or he arrives on the back of a dragon, because ain’t nobody gonna fuck with a dude on a dragon. Or he goes - early, and ambushes the villain. It may work, it may not. He may get himself kidnapped anyway. But it moves the plot along without having Stupid Hero Syndrome.

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15) This is a legit piece of advice: if all of this sounds overwhelming, literally just ignore it and write what you want. For real. Writing should be fun, and every single writer operates differently. If you’re sitting here like “I’m getting stressed just reading this,” just flip me a good-natured bird and get on with your life. I promise I won’t take it personally. Same goes for literally any other writing advice you see. Lots of rules and guidelines can very quickly make anything thoroughly un-fun. Just write. If you’re passionate about it and you do it for long enough, you’ll start figuring out the tips and tricks on your own.

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16) Here’s the best piece of advice I can give you: know your characters. More importantly, know what’s important to them. Build their personality and decisions off of that, and build your plot off of their decisions.

I see a lot of character building sheets that ask a shit-ton of questions like “What’s their most prized possession?” “Do they like their family?” “What’s their favorite food?”

And while these are good questions, my problem with this type of character building is that if you start there, with the little stuff, you’re building on nothing. IMO, to make a truly strong character (not strong like Inner Strength, strong like effective), you need a strong foundation.

Here are the things you must know about your character:

a) What are their greatest fears / deepest insecurities? And I don’t mean “wasps” or “heights.” I mean the deep shit. I mean fears like “living a meaningless life,” or “turning out just like their parents,” or “that no one will ever love them,” or “being powerless.” You may say, “But they’re really scared of wasps! They fall into a wasp nest when they were little and got stung so much they almost died!” Great! That’s a fantastic bit of backstory. They should absolutely be afraid of wasps, and that should absolutely be an impediment later in the story. But dig deeper. What about that event actually scarred them? Was it the helplessness? Stumbling around, swatting at the air, not being able to do a single thing to stop what was happening to them? Was it that they were alone, and no matter how loud they screamed, no one was coming? Was it the bodily horror of feeling themself turn into an inhuman creature as they swelled up from the stings, unable to move their fingers or face normally anymore?

And don’t forget insecurities, because those factor in, too. Are they deeply insecure about their identity? Do they believe, deep down, that they’re ugly? Did they grow up poor and they’ve always been really touchy about that? Why? Dig deep. Figure out what really, really bothers them.

b) What are their hopes and dreams? What do they truly want out of life? What do they consider the most valuable to their experience here in this thing called life? Is it the freedom to forge their own path and be independent? Is it the approval of their family or peers? Is it a home? Is it knowledge, or understanding? Spiritual fulfillment? Is it deeply important to them that they contribute to their community, or protect those they love? What do they need in order to feel truly and deeply fulfilled in life?

Figure out those two things (each one encompasses several things, btw, you don’t have to stop at just one for each), and then use that to inform how they behave and the types of decisions they make within the story. 

It also informs character behavior and personality. 

Let’s say we have a character who’s afraid of helplessness. They’re probably gonna be the person that always wants to do something, try something, no matter how hopeless the situation seems. They’d despise just sitting and waiting, probably, because it makes them feel powerless. They might even be the person that makes rash decisions and acts impulsively and puts themself in danger unnecessarily, because in their mind it’s better than being at the mercy of fate. This is one way you could use a character’s personality to inform their decisions, which in turn helps to inform plot.

Or, let’s say we have a character whose greatest fear is being left behind or forgotten. We may have a chatterbox on our hands. They might be obnoxious. They might love the spotlight, constantly vying for attention no matter the situation, because deep down they’re so afraid that they’d be forgotten otherwise. Or, it may go the opposite way. They may be so afraid of people leaving them that they’re terrified of bothering people. They don’t want to do anything that could annoy people, anything that might give people a reason to leave them. They might be exceedingly polite, quiet, accommodating. A push-over, really.

These are two nearly opposite types of personalities, both stemming from the same core fear/insecurity. You can go a lot of different ways with it. But if you build on that strong foundation, you’ll have a strong character, and a stronger plot.

Likewise, the structure of your story can and should inform the design of these character traits. If you need your characters to team up near the end, it may be impactful if you give your main character a deep fear of commitment, an insecurity about being unwanted or left behind, and make them highly value independence and freedom. That could make their team-up for the final battle very meaningful. Conversely, you can use your character’s deepest fears and desires to help design the plot. Is your character deeply insecure about voicing their opinions or taking a stand, because of trauma they faced in the past? Make them face that. Build that into the climactic third act. Give them the big inspirational speech where they stand up and talk about what they believe to be important, what they think the group should do. And then design that character arc to run through the story, giving you more handholds and stepping stones, more pieces of foundation on which to design the plot.

In this way, character should inform story as much as story informs character. It’s a feedback loop.

Bonus: if you build your character and your plot off of each other in this way, it automatically starts to build in the foundations of that emotional investment I mentioned earlier. If your character’s decisions are based on what they most want and do not want in life, you basically have your character motivation and stakes pre-built.

Note: you need to know these things about your villain, too.

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I’m genuinely sorry about the length of this, lmao. But you did ask.

Best of luck!

Edit: I forgot an important one:

17) Start when the scene starts and end when the scene ends.

What do I mean by that?

If your notes say “Danny asks Nicole out after school and majorly flubs it,” start the scene when Danny approaches Nicole after school. Better yet, cold-open the scene on “I was wondering if, you know, you’d wanna. You know. Hang out some time?”

Don’t start that morning when Danny goes to school, unless you’re gonna cover the school day in like one or two sentences. Don’t spend whole paragraphs going through the school day, unless it’s to cover other plot points first (in which case apply these same guidelines there), or if the paragraphs are there for a specific reason, like to illustrate how stressed he is and how it seems like every little thing is going wrong. Even then, trim the fat as much as possible. Expounding and describing everything Moment-to-moment is for the meat of the scenes, not the leading-up-to and coming-away-from.

Here’s my rule of thumb: study how and when movies cut from scene to scene. Movies have exceptionally strict, limited time for storytelling; they’re excellent examples of starting a scene when the plot point starts and ending when it’s over. If you can’t picture a movie showing everything you showed, start the scene later and end it earlier.

[darkzorua100]

Who is our Mystery Man?

Ladies and Gentlemen, after episode 58, with episode 59 and 60 being a transition period, episode 61 of Vrains looks like it is going to be the beginning of the second half of season two. With that being said, I feel like we should start to be getting some answers to who Haru and Bohman actually are, what their group is, and just what their goal is in connection to the Cyberse and the Ignis. I think the biggest mystery when it comes to their group would have to be their leader, the Mystery Man who is only referred to as question marks, when he is said to speak in an episode. 

Now I’m sure we won’t know this guy’s identity for a while yet since the writers are really keeping this guy in the dark for some reason but after doing some major thinking about it, I think I’ve come to a solid conclusion, until new evidence is given of course, on just who this man could actually be, which may or may not surprise some of you.

Now before I reveal just who I think the Mystery Man could be and my reasoning behind this conclusion, I just like to ask you guys a simple question: why is he being hidden in the first place?

The writers are deliberately trying to keep this person hidden from us for some big reason, not just from people who are watching the show, spoiler free, but even from the people who read the summaries and cast list. We knew that the glowing orange figure that attacked Jin was Bohman, they didn’t try and hide that from us because we were already introduced to him and the rest of the new season 2 characters with their VAs in the scans leading up to season 2 and we put the pieces together when the mystery figure shared the same VA. 

Now the way I see it, I don’t understand why they would go out of their way to hide a completely new character like this, especially in a show like Yu-Gi-Oh Vrains where the characters are already hidden behind avatars. When Ryoken was first shown to us in his real life form, there was some debate if this actually was Revolver or not until the show basically told us that yeah, this was Revolver. With that said, why not do the same thing again for this new villain? Well besides the fact that we would literally be copying season 1 in that regard, I don’t think they are using a Link Vrains avatar. If they were using an avatar, the writers wouldn’t need to hide them in a silhouette because they would already be hiding who they actually are behind their Link Vrains’ form and behind a username, in which case, they wouldn’t have to list them as question marks. Back to the whole completely new character thing, why hide someone we don’t know about? When this guy is finally going to be unmasked, and if it is a new character we don’t know about, there would be no shock to it. The fandom’s reaction is just going to be “oh okay.” and that’s about it.

That’s why I’ve come to the conclusion that this has to be a character we have already met, to add in the shock factor when the reveal happens. Just going to get the popular theories that I’ve seen out of the way: it is not Dr. Kogami (he’s dead, the attack on the Cyberse happened during around the same time as the Tower of Hanoi, and him and the Mystery Man have different VAs), it isn’t the Light Ignis (I’ll come back to this Ignis later but why would he destroy his own home world?), and it is not Yusaku’s father (I want to know where his parents are, if they are dead or not, as much as the next person but I really don’t want another “the father is all important to the story” plot line like 5Ds, Zexal, and ARC-V had (I’m sick of this troupe at this point). This person isn’t any of those three and isn’t even an adult for that matter.

It was hard to get the timing right but as you can see, the Mystery Man is actually shorter then Bohman. Yeah I stated time and time again that these kinds of things shouldn’t be taken into account because Link Vrains avatars and whatnot but again, this person isn’t using an avatar. This would actually be how tall they are and if this guy was actually a full grown adult male, regardless if Bohman is using an avatar, he should still be taller then him.

So who is this person? Okay, just like most, if not all of my theories, this is going to sound completely crazy, heck I didn’t full believe this at first since some things didn’t add up, but after going through the evidence and really thinking hard about it, this is the only person we know about at the moment that the Mystery Man has to be.

He’s a Lost Incident victim who gave “birth” to the Light Ignis.

Jin Kusanagi.

Oh boy, where do I even begin with this? Jin = Revolver theory wasn’t good enough so here, let’s make Jin the memory dude. I just like to say this now, I never believed that theory for second. It just didn’t make sense from the whole Kusanagi not knowing where his brother was to the whole Dr. Kogami thing since that would mean he would also be Shoichi’s father as well and it was just a mess in every sense of the word.

“But Darky, we saw Jin get his mind ripped out of his body during the beginning of season 2 and then delivered to said Mystery Man. There is no way in hell he and the Mystery Man can be the same person!” - says everyone at the current moment.

I’m getting to that. My mess of a theory isn’t much better then that mess but the dots actually do connect on this one once you start to see them. And boy, did it take me a while to see them because of one glaring problem: the Ignis.

After we got this screenshot of the other four Ignises, with a good half of their designs revealed, with the Light one also having the star shaped crest on its chest just like Bohman did, I was for sure that one had to belong to him, making me have to do some rethinking on which one belong to which but if Jin is the Mystery Man, it would make sense for his to have the star crest, since he was the one to form this group, in the first place and it would go in line with the whole, what I like to call, Code Talker foreshadowing. 

We know the Six Ignises are based on the six attributes of Duel Monsters and share a lot of similarities with Yusaku’s Code Talkers that when Ai was first revealed to us next to Decode Talker, I thought they were one and the same. The Code Talker foreshadowing is basically foreshadowing to us which Ignis belongs to which Lost Child in the order of their debut appearance.

Decode (Dark) = Yusaku = Ai

Encode (Light) = Jin = Light Ignis

Excode (Wind) = Spectre = Windy

Powercode (Fire) = Takeru = Flame

Transcode (Earth) = ??? = Earth Ignis

Shootingcode (Water) = ??? = Water Ignis

After that glaring problem was fixed, the rest of the pieces just fitted together themselves. How can Jin be the Mystery Man? Simple.

That wasn’t actually Jin. It was his backup. 

I refuse to believe that the writers would introduce a plot point like that just for the Playmaker vs Bohman duel. One of those kids had to have been swapped with their backup data. We really can’t trust anyone because of this whole memory thing but we have seen Yusaku, Spectre, and soon to be Takeru during the Hanoi Project. We have seen nothing of Jin which I find somewhat strange. Then there is the whole issue with Jin and his PTSD. I’m not saying PTSD like that can’t happen but it does make you wonder what kind of effects it could have on an AI copy who was born from this. They don’t know how to be happy since they never experienced it. All they know is the torture.

As for the real Jin, it makes sense for him to attack the Cyberse World. He was replaced by an AI who stole his body and his life and no one, not even his own brother, even knows it. It makes sense for him to hate the Ignises since, in his mind, they were the reason why he was replaced in the first place. Those memories he gave Bohman he didn’t just pull out of nowhere, they were based off his own experiences. We don’t know what would have happened to Yusaku should he have lost his duel against Bohman but I’m starting to wonder if Jin thinks that all the Lost Children could have been replaced with their backups like he did and is trying to beat them and destroy them so the original “Lost Children” can get their bodies back. It would also make sense why he wouldn’t have an avatar since if he was already trapped in the network since he was six, he wouldn’t have been able to make one. The memory powers can also be explained because of this since if he has been trapped in the network for all these years, this could be a side effect because of it or maybe he was able to learn it somewhere. After all, the network is connected to the world wide web where knowledge is endless. I will admit I don’t exactly how he aged though but maybe because he is human and not data, maybe that’s why. 

And finally, if this theory is true, the context of this scene actually starts to make a whole lot more sense. Not going to lie, I was kinda surprise Kusanagi didn’t flip on Yusaku for not being able to save his brother but instead was just happy that him and Takeru made it back safe. I was always in the mind set that this Mystery Man was going to use Jin to get Kusanagi to betray Yusaku but if it is actually Jin who goes up to his brother and tells him everything that has been going on, the story takes a whole different route. Kusanagi would legitimately have a reason to be pissed at Yusaku and go against him. AI technology stole his brother away from him. The thing that has been around Yusaku’s wrist is part of the reason why. Add in the fact that again, Jin could think that the Yusaku we know could also be a backup and it is just a recipe for disaster.

Well that’s the theory. Madness as usually but there is a method to my madness somewhere in there. Could Mystery Man = Jin actually happen? Well we still don’t know Jin’s VA, the only time he “spoke”, or I guess his backup I should say, was him screaming bloody murder so there is also that. But yeah, as always, I like to know what you guys think of this while I’ll go hang this up on my Vrains Conspiracy Theory board.

[bastillewolf]

Last Winter (Bucky/Reader/Steve) - Chapter I

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader, (in later chapters!)Steve Rogers/Reader

Summary: Even though he claims to be as tough as he appears to be, James Buchanan Barnes doesn’t have a skin made of metal. While he has to work hard for his money, keep his best friend from picking a fight and his sister protected, he feels as if the slightest breeze might be able to push him over. That is until a stranger picks an interest in him and helps him find his way back home. Whatever home feels like.

Warnings: (Not all apply to this chapter) Strong female characters, mentions of violence and death, angst, mental health issues, future sexual content

Notes: Please let me know if you prefer an original character or a reader-insert, it means a lot to me. I’m never really sure how to write down what the reader feels considering everyone reacts differently to situations so if no one comments anything, I’ll make this O.C. instead of reader-insert.

1940s slang:

Fat-head = a stupid or foolish person.

Dead hoofer = a poor dancer.

To take a powder = to leave.

A dish = a cute girl.

Kraut = what Americans called the Germans during the Second World War.

CHAPTER I - Winter leaves its mark

James Buchanan Barnes always considered himself to be the responsible one, someone who wouldn’t punch a fella straight in the face if they’d called him a fat-head or a dead hoofer, unlike his best pal Steve. Steve always sought out the fights, he wasn’t one to take a powder when the town’s bully would ridicule the advertisement of America’s bravest soldiers shown in the cinema. He wouldn’t care that he’d be thrown against the trash cans in the alleyway outside, or that he’d get kicked in the stomach over and over again till he was bruised and bleeding. Of course, Bucky would always be right in time to save his ass.

Then again, Bucky was the responsible one of the duo.

He thinks back to this morning, where he’d met this cute blonde at the apothecary, where he was supposed to pick up Steve’s medicine.

Steve and him, they worked hard to scramble the money together. Bills needed to be paid, Buck’s sister needed to be looked after and Steve’s state of health didn’t make things easier for the two of them. But they always managed to get by, one way or another. In a couple of weeks, his sister would be off to boarding school and it was only a matter of months till he would be joining the army. Perhaps he could send some of his wages back home, to make sure Steve could go to art school.

Bucky didn’t really feel like he needed the money. He didn’t think he’d have a future after joining the military. So, he was set on making sure Steve would. The kid was talented, he’d have a fair chance at getting a proper job. Bucky did not.

As he took out the cash from his pocket, he felt someone’s gaze fixed on him. She had the bluest eyes and a polka dot dress on. He’d have to admit, she was a dish. But the way she followed Bucky’s hand as he paid the employee, made him hesitant to walk up to her.

You see, Bucky had gone to the funeral of Steve’s parents only a couple hours earlier. He’d worn his best – and only – suit, with his hair slicked back and his shoes shined. He hadn’t thought of changing after dropping Steve off at home.

She obviously thought he had quite a share of money stored in the bank.

He obviously knew he did not. He didn’t even have an account.

But she didn’t have to know that.

He took her out, treated her like any real gentleman would, and even shared a kiss afterward. She was absolutely smitten with him, he could tell. After all, he’d been in this situation plenty of times.

He never intended to go out today, he’d rather have hung out with Steve. But he knew what this girl wanted from him, and in a way that’s what made him ask her out in the first place. Not because he liked her, but because he wanted to teach her a lesson.

His ma had told him plenty of stories when he was a kid, about all of her lady friends who had married for the money and didn’t really care for their man. They had all ended up taking care of the kids, cleaning, cooking, becoming the perfect housewife. His ma had always told him to watch out for those girls. She wanted him to marry a girl he loved, whereas his dad had merely instructed him that he should get someone who’d do all the chores at home for him and who would obey his every command like a soldier would. His dad had slept a couple of nights on the couch after that strong piece of advice.

He’d always remember his mom to be the strongest person he’d ever come to have known. She’d taught him all he knew, and he intended even now, after her death, to make her proud of the son she had raised.

A very fond memory, but unfortunately it didn’t soothe the pain of a set of knuckles connecting to his face. He shook back to what was happening in the now and only then realized his idiocy in never stopping with trying to make other folks listen to his own so-called wisdom.

The gal’s boyfriend had shown up, right when Bucky had wanted to tell the girl the truth about the contents of his wallet. Apparently, the couple had had a big fight the day before about him losing his job and not being able to take care of her and whatnot. The usual stuff.

The gal had taken off without a second glance in Buck’s direction.

Of course, the bloke took his anger out on him. And in that moment Buck wished that he had someone for him like he was for Steve. Someone to remind him of how stupid he actually is and yet takes care of him while he lectures. No one took care of him anymore.

“Look, pal, I didn’t know she was your girl,” he tried to reason, but it was obvious that it was useless. The man’s red face wore eyes with fire which would have made any Kraut scurry off in fear.

Bucky tried to hit him, missed and ended up with a large foot in his gut and two arms wrapping around his neck, sucking the air out of his lungs.

‘Great job, Buck,’ he thought to himself in his annoyance, ‘Just add those cracks and bruises up to the medical bills. Steve will be happy to hear that.’

He started to feel lightheaded, and he knew he was going to pass out any second then.

But then a voice echoed through the alleyway they were in, making the man loosen his grip a little and Bucky already felt a surge of gratitude towards whoever was brave enough to step in.

Until he looked up at his rescuer and had to do his best to keep his jaw from dropping in shock.

“Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?” The words left her mouth like a song of velvet tones, soft yet threatening.

She wore an army green service uniform, one Bucky would only recognize as one only of the highest ranking would receive. It appeared to have been tailored just for her, as it fit her curves like a tight leather glove. Her hair was curled at the tips and was pushed back enough to show off her striking facial features, along with a scar which ran from her right cheekbone up to the inside of her left eyebrow. She didn’t appear to be self-conscious about it, however, as she carried herself with a confidence that little girls would look up to and boys would admire.

Bucky couldn’t bring himself to tare his gaze from her eyes. They looked as if they had lived through hundreds of years of the endless routine of life, experienced and focused, yet so tired and aged, even though the rest of her didn’t show any signs of elderliness.

Of course, he was intrigued; she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid his gaze upon.

“Why don’t you mind your own business, lady,” the man growled, “this ain’t no place for people like you.”

If he hadn’t been holding him in a chokehold, Bucky would’ve – only this once – agreed and would’ve told her to turn her back to him and walk back the way she had come from.

A well-acted look of confusion crossed her face. “People like me? And who exactly are people like me? Last I checked, there are no people like me, but me.”

Bucky admired her confidence, he’d give her that.

The bully seemed puzzled with her words for a moment and of course, a man with his IQ would only grow angrier when being outsmarted and treated like a child. “I’ll give you one last warning, lady. Get lost or get tossed.”

“No.”

“What?”

“I said no. My ass won’t be the one to land in the mud.”

It seemed the brute hadn’t been bluffing about his final warning. He threw Bucky off of him, sending him tumbling against the wall. His head received a big blow, making his ears pop and his vision go dark.

As the ringing subsided, all he could hear was a snap, a high-pitched scream, and something hitting the floor. He was too scared to open his eyes.

When he felt a hand land on his shoulder, he knew he was done for. He sent out a silent prayer for the brave beauty and for his own good, hoping for this to end soon. If he got home with any more bruises than he already has, he would most likely cause Steve to have a heart attack or something and that was, again, a bill from the hospital they could not afford to pay.

The punk would probably even blame himself for not being there for Bucky. And then the poor dame-

He had to get through this for her. Just think of her and maybe it won’t hurt as much.

He waited for it, for the pain, for he thought he deserved this punishment.

But it never came.

“Are you alright?”

 Blinking a few times to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, his eyes stared up in wonder at the beauty standing in front of him, who appeared not to have a scratch on her. “H-How did you…”

A groan nearby made him stop his mumbling and look over.

“You bitch!” the man yelled at her, “You broke my fucking arm!”

Indeed, Bucky noted. The piece of bone sticking out from the flesh of his upper arm made it clear that he would need more than just a bit of bandaging. Horrific, but impressive none the less.

“I’ll break something else if you don’t keep your trap shut,” she hissed back with as much venom as her voice made of pure honey could manage.

Their eyes locked, and neither of them wanted a key to change that. He looked into her shining ones, while she got lost in his own little blue seas. No words needed to be spoken, because they both felt the same. The electricity, the warmth that spread through both hearts gradually.

It sounded cheesy really, in their own minds, to think love at first sight was a real thing. And yet this feeling made them question their morals and decisions throughout their entire life, for if this was real, then how had they ever made the right choices, while not knowing what living with this incredible feeling was like?

“Hi,” he smiled, a dashing one only he could manage to gather in a moment such as this.

“Hello,” she replied, with a small chuckle of her own.

[iwantthedean]

2017. Thank Chuck You’re Here.

Okay, so technically I’m a day late, but according to the US calendar, today is New Year’s Day (Observed) so ... yeah. It’s fine. Below the cut of this post, you will find some exciting stuff: updates from my goals last year, new goals and updates for this year, and my follow forever list! 

I love each and every one of you. I hope your year has already started well, and that 2017 is nothing short of amazing for you. 

While I only set a few goals last year, they definitely kept me going and gave me, at the very least, a gentle guideline of how I wanted to run things for 2016. I’ve decided to do the same for 2017. Maybe every year? We’ll see in 365 days I suppose! 

Follower Count. 2016 Goal: 1000 // 2017 Goal: 5000 I was beyond elated to reach my follower goal in (I believe) April of 2016. To go from 55 to 1000 in six months ... wow. Just wow. I know some people reach that much faster, but for me and the content on my blog, hell yes I was excited. As of this posting, I am 57 followers away from 3K. Yes, 2057 followers seems like a lot for one year, but I’m optimistic. As long as I can keep sharing the thing I love to do with the people who love to read it, I’m good! 

Two-Prompt Tuesday. 2016: Became a Thing. 2017: It’s a Different Thing.  I’m happy to say that Two-Prompt Tuesday was a thing for thirty-some weeks, and it has now evolved into Two-Prompt One-Shots. Tuesdays don’t always work out -- actually, there are some weeks when it doesn’t work out at all. Making it Two-Prompt One Shots allows for the vote between two prompts to happen any time, any day. I have two on my to-do list right now, and I’m hoping to do an actual voting round before mid-January. 

Original Fiction Side-Blog. 2016: Started It. 2017: Hoping to Do Better.  If you didn’t already know, I do have a side-blog with some original fiction posted. You can find it here. Unfortunately, there is not as much posted as I would like, as fanfiction more or less took over my life last year, but I would like to change that up in 2017. I want to finish Beyond the Broken, and get close to finishing Heart & Home. I’m also setting a goal for myself to be more active on my multi-fandom side blog, which you can find here. 

More Sam and Castiel. 2016: Eh. Better. 2017: Even Better.  I did add Sam and Castiel to my master list in 2016, and even some Jared and Misha here and there. In 2017, as many of you know, I have a fifteen-part Sam series planned, and it will be the first series I post for the year. I’ve had a Castiel x OFC series in mind for a couple years, and I would like to re-visit that idea. I’ve also had requests for Benny and Gadreel ... Benny I think I could definitely get on board with doing more writing for, Gadreel ... I can try! Ha, we’ll see how that goes. 

Tagging! 2016: Started the List, Re-Organized It, Made Its Own Blog. 2017: Still Its Own Blog.  It took some figuring out in 2016 as my tag list grew -- which I am very grateful for -- and in the interest of the aesthetics of posts, I finally created @iwantthedeanupdates for my tag list. If you haven’t seen it before, I create a post with just my tag list applicable to what I’m posting and the link to the newly posted fic. I occasionally queue things, which means tagging in the original post, but that just has to happen sometimes. I’ll continue to use that side blog for tagging, and as always, if you’d like to be added or removed or moved around on my tag list, you just have to let me know. 

New For 2017: Convention Stuff, Buy Me A Coffee, Reading. 

I am planning to attend MinnCon again this year! I couldn’t be more excited. Unfortunately Beth won’t be able to attend, but I’m so grateful that our friend Ashley (she’s on Tumblr as @apurdyfulmind) who we met at the convention last year is going and will be my con buddy this year! I look forward to seeing any of you who are attending; I will be there all three days of the convention, plus Thursday evening. I’ve got some things in mind for my blog during the convention, but I’ve not worked out the details yet. 

Buy Me A Coffee. I’ve seen that little button popping up on various blogs, and after speaking with Ashley (yes, there are two Ashley’s ... I’m talking about the Ashley I always talk about now, which is why I’m not tagging her) I’ve decided to add the button to my blog as well. Anything that is donated to the blog through Buy Me A Coffee will be used for convention fund purposes. I’ve seen GoFundMe’s and whatnot for conventions, and this is just my little way of having a few extra dollars for MinnCon 2017. Please only give as you see fit and in no way should anyone feel obligated to give. 

Reading. I want to do 100x better about reading other stories this year! I got way behind on tags, and that busy time I usually find myself in the middle of is getting ready to start up again, but when I have a few extra minutes, I’ll go back through my tags and see what I can catch up on. Please feel free to tag me if you’d like, and if it’s something you really want me to see, give me 24 hours before you ask if I have seen it, send it to me, or tag me again. 

Whew! Thank goodness for the cut, or I would have been taking up dashes for DAYS. Thank you to anyone and everyone who actually got through this whole post, and who cares enough to be updated on what I’ve got going on and planned for goals and such this year. I’m off to work on some writing, but before I do, here’s my follow forever list. No special markings for mutuals or anything, just blogs I love. Chances are I will miss someone -- that’s my scatterbrain, nothing on any of you. Happy 2017 Lovelies! 

@abaddonwithyall @akfsupportgroup @aprofoundbondwithdean @apurdyfulmind @ashleymalfoy @atc74 @avasmommy224 @blacktithe7 @bovaria @bringmesomepie56 @buckysmetallicstump @busybee612 @but-deans-back-tho @charliebradbury1104 @chelsea072498 @crazililwabbit @d-s-winchester @dancingalone21 @daydreamingintheimpala @deanscolette @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @death2thevirgin @dragonkitty @driverpicksthemuusic @duherica @ellen-reincarnated1967 @fandommaniacx @growningupgeek @ilostmyshoe-79 @illisea @iamawesomejazzy96 @impalaimagining @impalapossible @iwillprobablybechangingthislater @iwriteshortstuff @jensen-jarpad @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @jotink78 @jpadjackles @katnharper @kittenofdoomage @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @letsgetoutalive @lipstickandwhiskey @mamapeterson @manawhaat @mrs-squirrel-chester @mrsjohnsmith @mrswhozeewhatsis @mysteriouslyme81 @oriona75 @salvachester @sammit-janet @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki @skinwalkerconfessions @supernatural-jackles @supernaturalfreewill @the-mrs-deanwinchester @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @thinkwritexpress @tiffanycaruso @torn-and-frayed @vilemalapert @whispersandwhiskerburn @why-do-you-want-my-user-name @winchestersnco

[thomaspredestined-blog]

Untitled (The Table at Cana Event I).

(This was written in two hours and completely unedited.  I apologize for how poorly written it is and that I didn’t come up with a witty, clever title.)

Welcome out to Event I for The Table at Cana.  Please give a huge round of applause to your bar staff!  We didn’t know what to expect tonight, so please bear with them as they pour your beers, grab your Coke and popcorn, and so on.  Personally, I want to thank each of you for coming out tonight.  It means way more than I can express.  

So, starting out, I guess we should address the first elephant in the room.  The print out in front of you says “Grant Butler.”  I’m not Grant.  Due to some issues that I’ll let him speak on, he had to cancel.  Today.  I wrote this at 2:30pm at a bar while drinking a beer, anxiously sweating, and listening to a metal band called Necrot.  I would have written it at home, but it was way too easy to watch the new episode of SNL and nap there.

And the second elephant… What is this?  Why is this?  

This, this thing, The Table at Cana, was born about a dozen years ago.  Sundance Channel aired a documentary series about a dude named Jay Bakker.  From those Bakker���s, yes.  Jim and Tammy Faye were his parents.  When their empire fell apart, he fell with them.  Ended up with a pretty gnarly drug addiction.  The documentary picks up shortly after he gets clean and comes back into the faith he grew up in.  Only he’d changed.  He started his ministry, Revolution Church, in a bar in Phoenix, AZ, moved it to Atlanta, and then New York, before finally ending up in Minnesota, of all places.  

Revolution Church focused on meeting people where they were, using real conversations about real life with honest, real, frank language.  Some dirty.  And since people are always in bars, that’s where they began.  His church has always been focused on LGTBQ+ inclusion and rights.  

I stole his idea during college.  The only difference was we added a cover band that would play Tom Petty followed by Hillsong tracks.  Someone would get up and speak.  We had an anonymous text line, like we do now, for people to send in any questions they had about any topic, struggle, issue, etc.  

I took my favorite parts of that and decided to build this.  Which is a really polite way of saying I completely stole his idea this time around.  Currently, it’s set up to happen once a month.  If we build a following that wants something more, bigger, whatever, then we will revisit that.  Given that this is a 21+ venue, I assumed once a month would allow for people to get sitters for their kids and whatnot.

For someone who grew up in the church, and left it over a number of important issues, this feels more tangible to me.  There’s no worship band playing incredibly boring, uninspired ballads that could either be about God or a girl.  And that’s not knocking the worship team where I currently go to church.  They’re solid players and even better people.  However, the music itself is just…blah.  

And then there’s the announcements and the greeting and the teaching and the altar calls and all of that.  There’s no discussion.  It’s one opinion, and unfortunately, sometimes there’s no application or take-away.  Plus, the person speaking, typically, has to answer to a board of elders or a council or other words that American capitalistic Christianity has co-opted.  It’s a business and Sunday mornings feel like a product launch or press release.  

This is not that.  I don’t want it to be that.  If it gets to that point, I will shut it down.  I have scheduled a number of different folks with different backgrounds, theological points of view, and teaching styles to come here and hang out with us for an hour and a half once a month.  I’m not asking them to do specific topics or speak to specific issues.  They have free reign to say what they want, knowing that the only requirement is they have to be open to discuss and, possibly, defend their point of view after the teaching portion is complete.  

They’re also invited to stick around for the Q&A after the discussion.  Which is entirely open to whatever you wanna talk about, by the way.  It would be super easy for me (well, not today) to get up here with a prepared lesson, a fully defensible stance, backed up with scripture and quotes and so on, and feel good about what I’d taught and what I’d done.  But, when we leave the lesson and venture into real lives, that’s where it becomes solely about the relationships that we’re building.  Which is ultimately the goal.  I want us to grow into a community.

As this evolves, I see us doing events in town.  I’d like for us to partner with Guardian when they go out and paint houses.  I’d like for us to have some sort of space at something like Brewfest or Muncie Gras or somewhere where we can meet specific, in the moment, tangible needs.  I want this to grow into a force in town.  

And the first way that we show love, be a force, do good as a community is by tipping well.  Very, very well.

So, all of this was born out of distaste for how the church operates in today’s world.  It was born out of how the church, seemingly, fails to meet people where they are.  I work in a bar and meet people every day that don’t expect me to be religious or a professed Christian because of how I make my money.  They catch flak from their specific faith communities for having a beer or getting some dinner in a place that sells beer.  I meet people all the time that have horror stories about the nonsense they’ve put up with from the church.  Grant, the dude who was originally scheduled to speak tonight, caught hell from one of the elders in his church for having a beer in public on the night Grant’s wife died.  

Even with this thinly veiled contempt for the American Church, I am actively pursuing a career in ministry.  And, almost as a precursor to me having to speak today, yesterday afternoon, I received an email from a church who’d seen my resume and heard my teachings and wanted me to fill our their application.  Question #6 under the “Christian Involvement” section on their application was, “After reading the following documents linked below, is there anything in those statements that you would object to?”  They then provided links to The Nashville Statement, which is a hate crime dressed in cherry picked scripture, The Chicago Statement on Biblical Inerrancy and The Cambridge Declaration, which are both laughable ideas of the Bible, not literally, but you know, literally, being God.  

I was almost offended that someone could have heard me teach, read my resume, and statement of faith, and think that I would be cool with those statements.  

I wrote back the following:

Unfortunately, given the amount of hardcore pornography I view on a semi-regular basis (none of that gay stuff, though), I am unable to open the links you provided me.  With how progressive Nashville, Chicago, and Massachusetts are, or at least how I perceive them to be, I bet all those links are full of that gay loving, snowflake praising, participation trophy giving kinda Christianity.  And to that, I say no thank you.  I want my God to be angry and my Bible to be better than Him.

And after I sent them the application back, welling with pride at my capacity for artful snark, I realized how wrong I was.  My response was beyond uncalled for.  I was fighting a violent, misogynistic, homophobic, douchey church with sarcasm, snark, and my own blend of douchery and hate.  

I immediately thought of Matthew 9, when Jesus calls Matthew.  

Matthew, a tax collector, is sitting at his tax collection booth.  You know, just collecting taxes and being generally hated, when Jesus walks by.  In my mind, this is a weird version of the farmer’s market here in town.  Except more people and less deodorant.  People with booths selling things and others milling about, thumbing though the booths.  But, you know, no sausage sandwiches with pepper jelly, or delicious vegan baked goods, or free-range, organic, non-murdered meat options.

So, Jesus sees Matthew sitting there, tells Matthew to follow him, and Matthew gets up and follows.  Boom.  Done.  

This is also the book of Matthew, so I highly doubt he’s gonna point out how many stupid questions he asked Jesus or how they argued or how long he took to close up the booth before following Jesus.  

And that night, Matthew invites his new pal Jesus over for dinner.  So, they’re breaking bread, sharing a beer (maybe they ordered some pizza from Cousin Vinny’s who has online ordering and delivers here) and the leaders of the church see this and then ask Jesus’s disciples, “Why’s your boy eating with sinners and tax collectors?”  

Essentially, they’re saying, “Why’s he associating with the kind of people WE have decided are unclean?  Unworthy?  Not us?  Why does your teacher not adhere to the binary thinking that we deem to be holy?”

Jesus flexes his superhuman ability here and hears them ask the question.  His response is hilarious, biting, and perfect.

He says, “It’s not the sick who need a doctor.  Go and learn what Hosea 6:6 means.”  I’m paraphrasing, by the way.  I had a few hours to knock this out.  Get off my back, Josh.

So, because we’re not biblical scholars like the Pharisees were, and we don’t have the whole of the Jewish scriptures memorized, especially the first book of the minor prophets, we go to Hosea.  

And, because I firmly believe in a contextual understanding and reading of the text, we start in Hosea 6:4 -

What can I do with you, Ephraim?    What can I do with you, Judah?

This is God speaking through Hosea here.  It’s got the ring of a disappointed parent, right?  I imagine Hosea delivering this line with his fists on his hips…

Your love is like the morning mist,    like the early dew that disappears. Therefore I cut you in pieces with my prophets,    I killed you with the words of my mouth—    then my judgments go forth like the sun.

And now, Hosea 6:6, the killing blow, the Pharisees emasculation by the Christ, the Christ’s sickest burn is delivered when he says to learn what this means…

For I desire mercy, not sacrifice,    and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.

Boom.  Take that, ya’ dummies!  

Jesus just told you that God wanted mercy over legalism.  God wants your heart more than your actions.  You bunch of idiots.  

Hahaha.  

You suck.  Jesus just told you how you missed the whole point.  How it’s mercy, not your stupid way of understanding the rules.  

Mercy trumps intelligence, you dumb shi…

Yeah.  That’s when the irony hit me.  Here I was completely justifying being a jerk to people I’d never met because I’m 99.99% positive that they’re wrong.  I was using how right I was, how well I was interpreting the text, how good I was for showing mercy to everyone (except the dicks who didn’t show mercy to those I did) as my own form of legalism.

Lately, I’ve been dealing quite a bit with just how much I hate the church.  How badly I want to see the institution of American Christianity burn to the ground.  How I’d love to be the one who nails the doors shut, pours out the gasoline, and lights the match.  We’ve turned the temple into the savior.  We’ve turned the institution into what it’s supposed to point toward.  And in doing so, we’ve failed our communities and each other.

My desire to see it destroyed, my anger, has become my god.  I’ve found myself sacrificing on the altar of hating the church.  I’ve gone out of my way to destroy the grotesque, antiquated, conservative, outdated, banal Christianity that is so prevalent in America today.  I got into an argument with a missionary on a Facebook comment thread because I just knew I was in the right.  Yeah.  I’m not proud of it, either.  I literally ended the argument with, “This conversation is pointless.  I’ll go ahead and remove the speck from my eye and will pray you can remove the log.  With love, brother.”

Here’s to burnt offerings without acknowledgment.

12 years ago, I started this thing in hopes to subvert the campus church I was being forced to attend twice a week.  I wanted nothing to do with this corporate, business model church that operated with a budget and bottom line and board and so on.  I wanted a punk rock revolution in the church.  I wanted that DIY spirit to find itself manifested within a group of people that lived within a community and did more for the community, in the name of that community, in the spirit of that community than the church did.  

But, if we keep shopping at Walmart because of the savings, Walmart keeps winning.  And, in my previous experience with this, the monopoly beat out the mom and pop.  The school threatened to expel those of us involved in our bar community.  They used their law to subvert our mercy.  And we shrank away, hoarding kindling for the fire.

I firmly believe that Hosea 6:4-6 stands as clearly for us today as it did for the kingdoms of Israel.  The love of the church evaporates as quickly as morning fog or dew.  It’s painfully fickle.  When you’re following what your particular church’s doctrine allows, all is well.  But, the minute that you find yourself questioning penal substitutionary atonement, five point calvinism, or why listening to GWAR is of the devil, you suddenly find yourself on the outside of a community you used to enjoy.  

We are a people of rule and law.  We take comfort in the simple black and white, dualistic nature of rules.  You do this, you’re good.  You do that, you’re bad.  But, the Bible, the teachings of Jesus, life, they all have grey areas.  They have multiple dimensions.  They have variables that are unaccounted for in a black and white understanding of things.  

We are called to show mercy over sacrifice.  We are called to move always towards love over law.  And, given the current social and political climate, what could be more powerful?  When the church leaders of the Christ’s day were too cowardly to come to him and ask what he was doing, when they asked why he was eating with those they deemed unclean, when they questioned why he wasn’t following the LAW, he responded by telling them to get bent.  Well, you know, nicer.  He tells them to understand what Hosea 6:6 means.  He told a group of people who prided themselves on understanding scripture to go learn the meaning of scripture.  Absolutely hilarious.  And brutal.  The kids today would say it was “hashtag savage.”

I hate Joel Osteen and his particular brand of get-rich biblical nonsense.  I hate Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell (Jr. and Sr.) because they seem to think that Christianity should be legislated.  It should become the fourth branch of the government.  They fail to realize that Christ stood in direct opposition to Empire.  I hate Franklin Graham and the fact he’s riding daddy’s coattails into the conservative, xenophobic, Christian faith hall of fame.  Get your own schtick, man.

Denny Burk. John Piper. James Dobson. JP Moreland. JI Packer. Tony Perkins.

And every other coward who signed the Nashville Statement is offering sacrifice over mercy.  And every moment I spend hating them, hating what they stand for, hating the church and Christ that they represent to the world at large is a moment of me not understanding Hosea 6:6.  It’s a moment of me aligning myself, at least in action, with their brand of anti-inclusive douchery.

If you’re a church leader in here and you’ve got an open position, know that I’ll never agree with that pile of steaming dog crap, nor will I agree with the cowards who are so untrusting of God’s plan that they have to document their bigotry.  With that being said, though, I have been convicted to show them mercy.  Which is why I stopped at dog crap and didn’t go on to call them any of the other “C” words I know.

I’m not afraid of atheists or skeptics turning the world away from God.  I’m worried about those focused more on the law, the legalistic, exclusive, fundamentalist, conservative talking points.  I’m worried about those who do not bestow mercy.  I’m worried about those who do not acknowledge how big, loving, inclusive, strong God can be.  I’m worried about those that would compartmentalize the creator of all into a gay bashing, gender conforming, bearded white dude.  

The minute that we use our freedom, whether it be one we’re allegedly born into, or one we are born again into, to marginalize, subjugate, or enslave those outside that freedom, we have gone astray.   The Table at Cana has meaning.  It has purpose.  It has a design.  

The Table is an inclusive place where all are welcome to sit.  All.  Whether it be the asexual, the agender, the transgender, the gay, the straight, the white, the black, the oppressor, or the oppressed.  All are welcome to come and sit.  All are welcome to pull up a chair and buy me a pint of Frank the Tank.

Cana was where the Christ performed his first recorded miracle.  It’s where he turned water into wine.  It’s where he kicked the party into a higher gear.  

So, we are an inclusive community, welcoming all, to party with us.  I would ask, if you choose to continue growing with this community, hold me to the Hosea 6:6 standard.  Do not let me get too caught up in my own form of legalism.  Hold yourself to that same standard.  Do not let your tendencies, thoughts, or actions dissuade you from welcoming all who would show up.  Unless they’re a Pearl Jam fan.  Pearl Jam fans are every bit as awful of those who signed the Nashville Statement and twice as pretentious.  

Jesus was brutal with the Pharisees.  That’s because they knew the scriptures.  He held them to a higher standard.  They made their living, a good, comfortable living, off the backs and minds and hearts of those in their community.  And he called them out when they weren’t doing right by that community.  They knew how God had, time and again, shown the Israelites mercy and grace, and they were unwilling to show that same kindness to their communities.  And because of that, he made fools of them over and over.  

He didn’t burn down the temple.  He didn’t smite them.  He didn’t even remove them from power.  He simply pointed out how wrong they were and gave them the chance to correct their behavior.  

And, that’s where I wanna be.  That’s where I want this and us to be.  Given what happened with Grant today, it’s incredibly easy to continue the cycle of hatred and anger towards the church.  Especially in this place, outside of the church.  But, we’re called to live above and beyond that.  We’re called to mercy, not law.  We’re called to acknowledge and follow the one above it all, as opposed to merely go through the motions of holiness.

I’m sorry for how unprepared this has been.  I’m sorry that it’s jumped all over the place and seems like I wrote it this afternoon.  I finished it two hours ago and haven’t had time to edit it or really organize it like I normally would.  

We’re gonna open things up for a discussion now.  The discussion is to be aimed more at what I spoke about, at least initially.  The anonymous text line number is on the paper in front of you.  That’s a Google Voice number tied to a dummy Google account that has no contacts in.  So, unless I have your number memorized, which is my mom and my wife, I won’t know who’s texting me.  If you don’t want to ask your question out loud, if you’re nervous or afraid or whatever, use the number.  Join in on the conversation how you can.  As you go through your week, you can also use that number if you need to vent, talk, send pictures of your pet, or whatever.

If the discussion wanes, or if no one is interested in that, we’ll move into a question and answer time.  This is solely directed by y’all.  Whatever you have questions about, as it pertains to faith, God, the church, the Christ, etc., feel free to ask.  I’m not gonna explain where babies come from and I’m sure as hell not going to tell you what beer you should get next.  They’re all delicious.  

I’m gonna pray a prayer of benediction over us before we end this time of “teaching” and move on.  You don’t have to bow your head, close your eyes, or take off your hat if you don’t want to.  

As much as I hate Paul, I’m pulling this benediction from Romans 15.  Let us be benedicted:

May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.