#maybe I should start cross-posting to AO3 or something...
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#Seven's Public Diary#vent#vent post#cw vent#cw vent post#can i go more than a fucking week without having my cptsd triggered again? pLEASE???#me and my haywire nervous system can't ever catch a fucking break i swear to god#at least i managed to get the Matt fic posted before that happened and ruined my night#literally three minutes after i hit post. something has to happen IRL and ruin my slight good mood. sigh. anyways#my chest still feels tight but my focus is coming back i think. lets hope the rest of the night is uneventful#anyways. uh. positives. got the Matt fic posted on here And Ao3! yay. after working on it the last two evenings it's officially done#i know i put way too much effort into my fics especially ones that will get very little readership but eh i can't help it#time spent doing something you enjoy is never time wasted or however the saying goes#uh oh. the stress injury in my neck is starting to feel tight again. that's probably not a great sign#i should try to relax. been sitting at my desk too much recently and my back's mad abt it too#i would unwind with some Genshin exploration grinding or smthn but that's just more desk sitting time#so hm. animal crossing in bed it is then#watch me say that then spend the next 3 hours on tumblr#i cant help it i want to update my pinned posts and fill my queue up some more#and i have some drafts to work on... still need to finish that Sun & Moon appearance guide for ES#maybe i'll pull an all-nighter. i need to fix my sleep schedule again. like badly. but then i risk a migraine. aaggghhhhhh#anyways this has been Venting and Bad Decision Making 101 thabks for coming to my TED talk#oh hey look at that i got a like on the Matt fic. mood slightly improved. thank u whoever u r <3
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Felt Good About You
akaashi keiji x fem!reader
summary: delivering a revised manuscript to your editor turns into something more.
cw: nsfw (18+) - mdni!!, smut, fluff, post-time skip, oral sex, vaginal fingering, praise kink, handjob, p in v
wc: 4.8k
a/n: i'm afraid i have the fattest crush on akaashi
also on ao3!
“The romance isn’t working.”
You groan when your editor pushes your manuscript for this week’s chapter towards you. You didn’t need any more bumps in the road, not when you were already running behind on deadlines, with the publishing company breathing down your neck to get the next volume out.
“The romance is fine, Akaashi” you mumble, flicking through the pages of the manuscript to skim through his notes.
“If it was fine, I wouldn’t be here,” he replies dryly.
Akaashi was as blunt as ever. Most of the time you appreciated his honesty, he was the reason for such success with your manga after all, but sometimes he managed to get on your nerves.
“It’s an unnecessary subplot,” he continues, flipping through a couple of pages to show you a few of the panels you had drawn, “there’s just no plausible progression between the two, no chemistry.”
You glare at him. He was really starting to get on your nerves. Akaashi rolls his eyes when he sees your glare, reaching out to flick your forehead.
“You’re already behind on the scheduled publishing date,” he reminds you, crossing his arms over his chest, “and I get the short end of the stick because I’m your editor.”
“The higher-ups love you,” you retort.
You stare pointedly at the small stash of awards that were tucked onto a shelf in his office, the small trophies and plaques a clear display of the company’s commendation for his work.
“Not enough to let me work in the literature department,” he mutters bitterly.
“I’m right here!” you protest, an exasperated expression spreading across your face.
“Yeah, yeah,” Akaashi murmurs.
He taps your manuscript a few more times before giving you a stern look.
“Get me the revised version by tonight, otherwise you’ll miss out on this week’s issue.”
You curse him under your breath, giving him one final glare as you gather the pages of your manuscript into your hands. You had come into his office thinking he’d been fine with the story, but now you had somehow ended up with more work than before, and an even tighter deadline.
-
A few hours later, you end up finding yourself outside Akaashi’s apartment. Guilt had won out in the end, and you figured that it wasn’t fair to let him take the blame for your tardiness. Revised manuscript clutched against your chest, you ring his doorbell.
You can feel your throat dry when he opens up the door. His hair is damp, towel slung around the back of his neck. He’s wearing an old volleyball shirt with sweatpants, and you don’t think you’ll ever get used to him looking so domestic.
Akaashi stares at you blankly, clearly not expecting you. Usually you would’ve just emailed the revised manuscript over to him, not show up outside his door.
“I felt guilty,” you blurt out, cheeks flushing at the awkwardness in the air, “and- and I ordered gyoza so it should be here in a few minutes.”
“Right,” he says after a moment, “you didn’t have to.”
You stare at each other for a moment longer until he sighs, opening the door wider to let you in.
“You’re just as bad as Bokuto,” he informs you.
The mention of the pro-volleyball player makes a smile spread across your face. You had met Akaashi’s volleyball friends a few times when they had enlisted your help in throwing Akaashi a surprise birthday party - which had maybe ended up in a disaster - as well as when you had wound up to a few of their games.
“He’s a sweet guy,” you reply, handing him your manuscript.
Akaashi only hums in response, walking over to his desk. He hangs his towel on the back of his chair before sitting down. You watch as he slips his glasses on, examining the pages of your now edited work.
“I thought you’d try and fight me about the romance,” he murmurs, his pen making a few adjustments here and there.
“Figured it wasn’t worth it,” you sigh, slumping on the couch in his living room, “you were right, as always.”
He peers over at you, his eyes narrowing as he watches the sulky look on your face. Despite your random bouts of laziness, even Akaashi had to agree that you were a good mangaka whose popularity had built up a loyal reader base.
“Look,” Akaashi says, setting his pen down, “if you’re that hung up about cutting those scenes, start drafting it now.”
Your gaze shoots up to meet his eyes.
“Seriously?” you ask, eyeing him suspiciously.
Akaashi was dedicated, sure, but he wasn’t exactly one to take on extra work. Sometimes you felt as though he would’ve been right at home in the literature department, editing novels instead of volumes of manga. It was like he worked with you out of obligation, not enjoyment, despite the friendship you had built up over the years.
“Yeah,” he says, pushing his glasses up a bit further to sit better on the slope of his nose, “I’m serious.”
You don’t get to dwell any longer on your editor’s change in mind, the sound of the doorbell piercing through your conversation. Akaashi waves you away when you move towards the door, grabbing the delivered containers of gyoza himself.
He sits down beside you on the couch, handing you one container whilst he takes the other. For some reason, you’re feeling more on edge than usual. The brush of his arm against yours has heat rising to your cheeks, body growing taut with the way your stomach is swirling with nervousness.
It was no secret that Akaashi was one of the most handsome men in the office, and you had maybe developed a tiny crush on the man, which was now inflating into something that was not so tiny, and much, much harder to control the more time you spent with him.
“You okay?” Akaashi asks, peering over you.
You don’t trust yourself enough to reply which is why you stuff a gyoza into your mouth and nod rapidly.
Silence lapses over you both as you eat, but you can feel his eyes boring into the side of your head. You pretend not to notice, trying to engross yourself in the taste of the gyoza and the tang of soy sauce.
Akaashi slouches slightly, his body relaxing as time passes. You can see it in the way his shoulders drop, his thighs spreading as he gets more comfortable.
“Instead of adding romance as a subplot, why don’t you make it into another story altogether?”
You blink over at him, surprised.
“I don’t have time to write another manga,” you say, shaking your head, “I’d have to find another publisher if I wanted to write something that was purely romance.”
“Shonen manga in the romance genre exist,” he replies, running his hand through his hair, “or you could just self-publish.”
You’d been hoping to avoid the topic of self-publishing. Sure, you knew of it, participated in it even. It’d been used as a creative outlet, to get out some ideas that you couldn’t work on when your success as a mangaka had grown. Besides, it wasn’t like you could tell Akaashi that you had drawn up stories that were, well, inappropriate.
“But that would be too much work,” you sigh, trying to stop his train of thought.
Akaashi stares at you thoughtfully. The more you spend time with him, the more you begin to regret your choice to come here. Emailing the manuscript to him would’ve been the smarter choice, but you just had to feel sorry for the guy.
“I did read one the other day that had a similar art style to yours.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. You can feel your composure slipping. There was no way he could know that you self-published stories that were practically panel after panel of porn. Maybe he enjoyed it? One thought leads to another and you find yourself imagining Akaashi with his hand wrapped around his cock, his head tipped back as he strokes himself.
“What was it about?” you manage to grit out, trying to see through the haze of your indecent thoughts.
“About a couple,” he says simply, “they ended up fucking.”
You can feel the hope swirling in your mind fade. Akaashi definitely knew.
“Didn’t know you read that sort of thing.”
“I’m a man, aren’t I? Sometimes porn just doesn’t cut it. The story was pretty great too.”
He thought the story was great? You can’t help yourself from perking up, the compliment making you feel warm.
“I just find it so strange,” he murmurs, leaning closer to you.
You swallow harshly, mustering up a smile with your trembling lips, “why’s that?”
“The author’s note,” Akaashi says, “the little bunny avatar was the same as yours.”
So, you had messed up. You spy the front door from the corner of your eyes. If you walked, you’d get there in about ten steps, but if you ran, you’d get there in about three - maybe two - strides. Sure, you wouldn’t ever be able to face Akaashi again, but you think you’d be fine with it. Report filed to the higher ups stating creative differences and you’d be able to find a new editor, no problem.
“It’s all probably just a coincidence,” you say nonchalantly, “plenty of people like bunnies.”
“Some of the dialogue was similar to yours, distinct writing and all that.”
You grit your teeth. The man didn’t know when to let go.
“Like I said, coincidence.”
“Right,” he says, nodding along, “a coincidence. Was it also a coincidence that the couple that had sex was a mangaka and her editor?”
You scramble to your feet when he says that. Letting out an awkward laugh, your cheeks heated with embarrassment, you decide that this is the best time to take your leave.
“Have- have a good night!” you say, voice pitching.
Determination has Akaashi’s eyes gleaming and now you’re bolting, feet nearly tripping over each other as you dart towards his apartment door. It seems as though fate isn’t in your favor tonight, Akaashi’s hand curling around your wrist as he catches onto you before you can open the door. You squeak when he slams his hand against the wall, right next to your head as he pushes you up against the door.
“Classic scene,” he murmurs, his eyes narrowing as he takes in your meek expression, “you always use it.”
“Fuck off, Akaashi!” you snap, pushing at his chest.
It’s a struggle, but you reach back behind you, hand grabbing blindly for the door handle. He doesn’t let you reach it, catching your wrist and pinning it against the door.
“You sure?” Akaashi asks, his eyes darkened, “or maybe you want me to fuck you.”
Your breath catches in your throat, mouth opening before closing again. There’s nothing left in you, no retorts, no words to get yourself out of this situation. He lets out a sigh when he feels your body relax, his hand on your wrist loosening as he lets go. You stare up at him, biting your lip nervously.
“You should’ve said something,” he says quietly, adjusting his glasses.
“And embarrass myself?” you mutter, picking at the wool of your sweater.
Akaashi doesn’t say anything, his hand smoothing up your hip and settling on your waist. Your eyes widen, arousal shooting through your body as he presses himself closer, his other hand finding your waist. Akaashi squeezes gently and you bite back a whine, eyes drooping slightly as he just squeezes and pets at your sides.
“It was good,” he says hoarsely, “the story, the details, the sex… came to it a couple of times.”
“You- you liked it?” you whisper, voice airy.
“Yeah,” he whispers back, his eyes meeting yours, “liked it… like you.”
Your eyes flutter shut when he kisses your cheek, your heart thudding in your chest. You never dreamt it’d come down to this, but you find yourself grateful for Akaashi’s observational nature.
He takes his glasses off, placing them into his pocket. Akaashi’s lips drag across your cheek, pressing soft kisses against your skin. He kisses the corner of your mouth, lips brushing against yours gently.
“Kiss me, Akaashi” you whisper, arms wrapping around his neck.
“Yeah,” Akaashi says softly, “yeah, I’ll kiss you, baby.”
A contented sigh escapes you as he slots his lips over yours, kissing you gently. The heat between you begins to grow, his hands slipping under your sweater to feel your bare skin. You gasp into his mouth, his hands surprisingly warm.
Akaashi smiles against your lips, his hand running up your back as his kisses turn hungrier, his tongue tracing the seam of your lips. You let him lick into your mouth, tugging at his hair desperately. Rocking up onto the tips of your toes, you deepen the kiss, pulling him impossibly closer.
He wraps his arms around your waist, groaning when your nails scratch his scalp fleetingly. You bite your kiss-swollen lip as he drags his lips down your neck, landing heated kisses to your skin.
Akaashi kisses the pulse of your throat, his lips finding their way back to yours. Soft pants fill the air, his smile hazy as he peers down at you. You smile back, head tilting to the side to let him kiss your cheek again.
“You’re such a dork,” he whispers, his eyes twinkling.
“Shut up,” you whine, pushing at his chest.
He grins, his hands grasping yours. Akaashi pulls you away from the door, his arms wrapping around the backs of your thighs as he picks you up. You laugh, legs wrapping around his waist, lips pressing against his as he carries you to his bed.
Akaashi lays you down on his bed and you watch with half-lidded eyes as he pulls his shirt off. He might not have played as competitively like he did in highschool, but you had been there when he had played with his friends. It’d been entrancing to watch the way he had set the ball for his friends, the ball curving through the air cleanly for the spiker to hit.
“‘s not fair how good you look,” you grumble, pouting.
He rolls his eyes, crawling onto the bed, his body hovering over yours.
“You look pretty good yourself,” Akaashi says, his fingers playing with the hem of your sweater.
You lift your arms for him, letting him pull it off of you. His gaze fixes on the swell of your breasts and you flush, looking away.
“You’re shy now?” He murmurs, a soft laugh escaping him as he kisses your jaw.
“You’re such a jerk,” you huff out.
Akaashi smiles and you don’t think you’ll ever be able to be truly angry with him. He’s patient more than anything, caring and always honest. You’ve never met a man like him, never met someone who could quell your worries the way he could. It makes you want to never let go.
His body settles between your thighs, his nimble fingers pulling your bra free. Your nipples pebble in the cold air and Akaashi leans forward, his hot, wet mouth enveloping a hard bud into his mouth.
You whine brokenly, back arching slightly as he sucks your nipple, tongue swirling around the bud. He groans as you run your fingers through his hair, his mouth suctioning around your breast for a few moments before he pulls off with a pop.
His mouth finds your other breast, kissing the side of it, mouthing at your skin. You can feel his tongue caress the underside of it, laving across your breast before he bites gently at your flesh, his half-lidded eyes meeting yours.
“You’re a fuckin’ tease,” he whispers against your breast.
You shake your head, mewling when his hand slides up, his fingers pitching at your spit-coated nipples. He rests his head between your breasts, watching you contentedly as you writhe under the onslaught of his touches.
“A- Akaashi,” you whimper, hips bucking, “want- want more, please.”
“So polite, baby” he coos, his hands groping at your breasts.
He pulls away from you and you whine, lifting your hips for him when he peels your pants off. There’s a moment of silence and you’re anticipating the feel of his mouth on your body, only for him to let out a low laugh.
“Bunnies til the end, huh?” Akaashi asks, his fingers playing with the waistband of your panties.
Your brows furrow, not quite sure what he’s talking about until you prop yourself on your elbows and see that you’re wearing a pair of bunny-patterned panties.
“Oh, fuck off,” you groan, slumping back down onto the bed and slinging your arm over your eyes.
“They’re cute,” he smiles, prying your arm away from your face, “just like you, baby.”
Akaashi grasps one of your legs, bringing it to his mouth as he runs his hand along the length of it, kissing the sole of your foot and then your ankle. A soft hum leaves you, watching as he kisses up your leg, his kisses feather-light.
You run your fingers through his hair as he kisses the little bow on your panties, his nose pressing between your clothed folds to breathe you in.
“Pussy’s soaked through,” Akaashi murmurs, pulling back to look at your dampened panties.
“‘s your fault,” you slur, trying to push his face back to where you want it.
“All my fault,” he agrees, his tongue licking up over your panties, “guess I’ll have to take care of you then.”
You nod, trying to stop the little twitches that shoot through your body. Akaashi lets his mouth latch onto you, trying to suck the slick that’s soaked through the fabric of your panties.
“A- ah!” you pant, fingers fisting his hair as he squeezes your hips, his face nuzzling deeper between your thighs.
Akaashi’s lithe fingers pull at your panties, dragging them down your thighs. You don’t miss the way he tucks them into his pocket.
“Always so pretty, baby” he whispers, his thumbs pulling apart your folds to expose your pussy.
He moans when he sees the translucent strings of arousal that cling to your folds, his tongue darting out to lick up the little strings. You whimper when he kisses your clit gently, watching as he rubs the pad of his thumb against your swollen clit. Thighs twitching, you shift, trying to tilt your hips a little higher so you can feel his mouth on you.
“Ask for it,” Akaashi says, his cheek pressing against your thigh as he stares up at you.
“‘m not- ‘m not asking for it,” you retort, glaring at him.
“Bet it’d feel good,” he whispers, his tongue lolling out of his mouth.
You whine when he just keeps his tongue there, saliva dripping from the tip of it and onto your pussy. He makes an obscene noise, gathering some more saliva, spitting on your cunt.
“All you gotta do is ask,” he coaxes, his arms wrapping around your thighs, “clit looks so achy… makes me wanna kiss it better.”
“P- please,” you whisper, your voice barely audible.
“Didn’t quite catch that,” Akaashi smiles up at you, his eyes twinkling.
You’ll have to get him back for his teasing later, but right now you can’t wait.
“Please lick my pussy!”
You squeal when he latches his mouth onto you again, his tongue lapping over your wet pussy. He groans and you tug at his hair, thighs squeezing around his head as he laves his tongue over you greedily, letting his tongue dip into your hole before he sucks your clit into his mouth.
Legs kicking out, you let out a strangled noise as he flicks his tongue over your clit. Akaashi lands the filthiest kisses to your clit, alternating between sucking and little pecks, while he’s sunk two fingers inside of you. They curl up inside of you, grazing your sensitive spot perfectly. He fucks his fingers in and out of you, your wanton noises filling his bedroom.
Akaashi presses his face deeper, his fingers crooking. The feeling of his mouth in tandem with his fingers has you whimpering and whining, airy noises spilling from your lips at his ministrations. You might not ever be able to go without him ever again.
He holds you in place as you thrash, the overwhelming feeling inside of you building and building. Akaashi slips his fingers out of you in favor of devouring your cunt again, licking through your velvety folds, his tongue swirling before he presses it inside of you.
“Taste so fuckin’ good,” he growls.
You blink down at him dazedly. There’s a light flush covering his cheeks, his mouth glistening with your wetness. He opens his mouth to say something else but you ignore him, pushing his head so that his lips are flush against your cunt. Akaashi lets out a muffled laugh against your pussy, his tongue licking over you again.
Hand squeezing at your breast, you bite your lip, losing yourself in the caress of his tongue. He laps over you, again and again, pressing sloppy kisses to your clit.
“Gonna come,” you whisper, feeling the softness of his hair under your palm, “gonna come, ‘kaashi.”
He tilts your hips a little more, rising up onto his knees with your legs slung over his shoulders. You squeal again when he shakes his head, tongue dragging from side to side before he plunges it inside of you, his thumb pressing against your clit at the same time.
Your thighs squeeze tightly around his head as you come, loosening after a while when twitches rack through your body. Akaashi squeezes your thighs, lets your legs slip from his shoulders as he kisses your trembling thighs.
“Good girl,” he whispers.
Akaashi kisses your cheek and wipes the stray curls of your hair away from your face. A soft sheen of sweat covers your body and he hums, smoothing his thumbs over the underside of your breasts.
He lays down beside you and you curl up beside him, eyes catching on the bulge in his sweatpants.
“Need some help?” you murmur, fingers dragging down his chest.
“If you don’t mind,” he sighs, his arm wrapping around your waist to hold you close to him.
You smile, kissing his jaw gently as your hand slides past his navel, disappearing into his sweatpants. The weight of his cock is heavy and hot and Akaashi moans softly when your hand curls around his length.
“Ask for it, ‘kaashi,” you whisper, voice lilting.
“You’re such a brat,” he mutters.
“Use your manners, Keiji.”
His eyes widen when you use his name and you grin, landing a soft kiss to his cheek as your breasts squish up against his bicep. You squeeze around his cock and he lets out a soft whine, his hips bucking.
“Fuck- fuck hah-,” Akaashi grits out, “stroke my cock, baby, hm? Please?”
You hum softly, beginning to move your hand. His thick cock twitches as you stroke him, your wrist rotating.
He pants softly, his head turning to meet yours. You smile, running your fingers through his hair, brushing the soft strands out of his eyes. Affection bursts inside of you, heart fluttering as the flush on his cheeks deepens.
His brows have drawn together and you smooth your thumb over them, peppering soft kisses over his face, leg slinging over his as you pull down his sweatpants to free his cock completely. Akaashi’s cock has filled out, pre-cum smearing across his abdomen. You caress the head of it, giggling when he lets out a broken moan as you rub your thumb against the tip.
“You look so handsome,” you say, stroking his cock a little faster.
Akaashi smiles and you dip your head, kissing him. He groans, his hips chasing after the feeling of your hand around him as you kiss. Your hand tightens a little, squeezing at the tip of his cock. Pre-cum wets your hand, soft gasps escaping Akaashi as you let your tongue slip into his mouth.
“Keiji,” you whisper, lips brushing over his, “Keiji, will you fuck me?”
You squeak in surprise when he manages to grab onto your waist, lifting you up and placing you on his lap. His cock is snug between your folds and you whine, dragging your hips along the length of it, biting your lip as more pre-cum leaks from him.
“Sit on my cock, baby” he whispers, smoothing his hands up your thighs.
You nod, shifting a little so that you’re up on your knees. Akaashi watches as you grip the base of his cock, moaning when you rub his cock against your pussy, letting it catch on your clit. Akaashi’s head tips back as you sink down, whimpery, little noises leaving you as your pussy swallows up his cock.
It’s so thick inside of you, fitting so snugly that you clench around him. Akaashi wraps an arm around your waist, bringing your front flush against him. He lets you tuck your face into the crook of his neck, his arms tightening around your waist. You can feel him move, his feet flat against the bed as he bends his knees.
“K- Keiji!” you wail when he begins to fuck up into you.
Akaashi grunts, holding you against him as he moves his hips, rutting up into you. His hands grope at your ass, gripping your ass tightly as he moves a little more forcefully. You bury your face deeper into the crook of his neck, pressing sloppy kisses against his skin as you smooth your hand over his hair.
“Is this- fuck,” Akaashi grits out, “is this what you imagined when you drew up those panels?”
You nod, too far gone to cling onto the remnants of your stubbornness.
“Yeah?” he whispers, “imagined me fucking up into you, huh?”
“Y- yes!” you cry out, body squirming when he lands a heavy spank to your ass.
“Good fuckin’ girl,” he growls.
A soft mewl leaves you at the praise, your hips swaying back lazily to meet his thrusts. The sound of his hips slapping into your ass echoes through his room, your wetness leaking around his cock and coating his balls.
Your body rocks against his, your hand gripping at the sheets beside his head when he adjusts his grip on you, planting his feet a bit firmer against his mattress to thrust into you harder. You gasp at the sensation, sinking your teeth into his shoulder when his cock hits deep inside of you.
Akaashi hisses at the feeling of your teeth, spanking your ass again before you clench around him with a scream, body shuddering on top of his as you come.
“Baby, baby, you gotta let go,” he rasps.
You shake your head stubbornly, pushing your hips down so that it swallows his cock all the way to the base.
“Inside, Keiji.”
He groans, his hands kneading at your hips roughly. You can feel the twitch of his cock, a satisfied coo leaving your lips when he comes, spurts of his hot cum filling you up. Akaashi’s hips stutter, thrusting into you unevenly as his cock jerks, more cum flooding your pussy.
You both pant, chests heaving. Akaashi rubs his hand along your back and you emerge from the crook of his neck, a drunken smile on your face.
He laughs hoarsely at your expression, cupping your cheek to guide you into another kiss while his cock softens inside of you. It’s a little uncomfortable, but you don’t mind, losing yourself in the heat of his body as cum leaks from your pussy.
“How long have you known?” you ask, tracing the slope of his nose.
“About a month,” he murmurs.
“A month?” you scoff, hitting his chest, “and you didn’t say anything?”
Akaashi grins, grabbing your hand and bringing it up to his lips to kiss across your knuckles.
“That would ruin the fun.”
You roll your eyes, prodding your fingers into his chest, “it was hardly fun, Keiji.”
“But you got what you wanted, didn’t you?” he whispers.
You laugh when he flips you onto your back, moaning softly when you feel his cock beginning to harden again inside of you.
“Put- put your glasses on,” you whisper, head tipping back as he rolls his hips into you.
Akaashi reaches over to dig his glasses out from the pocket of his discarded sweatpants, pushing them up to sit comfortably on his nose.
You clench around him at the sight, biting your lip as you give him a pleased smile.
“Knew you had a thing for ‘em.”
He grabs at your legs, moving them so that they’re pressed against his chest, your ankles resting on his shoulders.
“Use this as inspiration, baby,” Akaashi smirks, “I’ll even edit it for you.”
#akaashi smut#akaashi keiji smut#akaashi x reader#akaashi x you#haikyuu smut#keiji smut#keiji x reader#haikyuu x reader
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8x01 misery missing scene
post the sad zoom birthday party also on ao3 if you prefer
They stick around long enough to help clear up.
The party decorations come down faster than they went up. Each balloon that Buck pops is a perfect mirror to the ball of excitement in his chest that had shattered at Chris’ lacklustre response, at the stuttering video connection. Except, instead of slippery, soft rubber, the shards it left behind are hard, cutting glass.
“The cake was excellent,” Tommy offers, with forced cheer, into the silence that descends once the sound of balloons bursting and streamers rustling stops.
“Take the rest with you,” Eddie says, turning away, heading into the kitchen.
Buck follows him, Tommy close behind, and watches Eddie shove the happy birthday banner into the trash, the party hats too. Buck bites his lip on the protest that Eddie should keep them for next year — he doesn’t think he can bear to hear Eddie voice the fear that they might have as little use for them then as they did today.
“You’re serious about the cake?” Tommy asks, crossing to where it sits on the kitchen table, one solitary slice consumed. Buck had a bite of Tommy’s, and it was good, but he didn’t feel like having his own. And Eddie hadn’t seemed up to stomaching any at all.
“Yep,” Eddie nods, without looking over. “I don’t want it.”
Buck pulls a large tupperware container from the cupboard, hands it over to Tommy, who boxes up the cake. But Buck also takes down a smaller container, saves a single slice, and tucks it away in the fridge. He knows Eddie will crave it later — maybe not tonight, but certainly by tomorrow morning — and will wish he hadn’t given it all away. It will be a nice surprise for him — a much needed one — to find that Buck didn’t let him.
Buck walks the knife used to cut the cake to the sink and Eddie steps in to wash it. Buck hovers at his side, taskless. They had been going to stick around after surprising Chris, have a couple of beers, watch something, but, with how things went, it’s clear that’s not going to happen.
“Eddie,” Buck starts, wants to ask if he’s okay — knows he’s not — but Eddie cuts him off.
“Thanks for coming,” he says, clearly a dismissal, bidding them goodnight without looking up for scrubbing at a knife that must be long clean.
Tommy replies, “Thank you for inviting us,” even though technically only he was; Buck — never a guest in Eddie’s home — more co-host than attendee, had helped to plan the party, and his presence was assumed, certain.
At the same time, Buck says, “Of course.” He wouldn’t have been anywhere else today, on Chris’ birthday. Not unless flying to Texas to actually see him would have been an option. Hell, if Eddie had wanted to drive over to El Paso to visit, Buck would have gladly played chauffeur for the whole twelve hour drive.
Tommy drops a reassuring hand onto the stiff surface that is Eddie’s shoulder, pats it, once, twice, three times, to no noticeable softening. “See you later, man.” He moves to the kitchen door, pauses, looking back at Buck.
Buck takes a tentative step in Tommy’s direction, says, “See you tomorrow, Eds?” It’s supposed to be a statement, like Tommy’s. A stronger one, even, since Buck and Eddie have a shift together the next day, so their seeing each other should be a concrete occurrence, not a vague likelihood. But the words come out sounding more like a question and he doesn’t follow Tommy out of the room until he sees Eddie nod in answer, agreement.
They only make it as far as the front door before the gnawing concern in Buck’s gut is too much.
“Wait,” Buck says as Tommy turns the handle.
Tommy stops, door cracked open an inch, but not opening it any wider, and twists to face Buck, looks at him, expectant.
“I think–” Buck starts, but he doesn’t quite know what he thinks, only that he shouldn’t be leaving now. Even though there’s nothing left to do: all traces of the party stripped away, their evening plans abandoned. Still, he shouldn’t be leaving. Shouldn’t be leaving Eddie. Not like this.
And he should tell Tommy that, explain it to him. Except… He probably doesn’t need to. Tommy knows him, knows Eddie, and he saw firsthand how things went down tonight. So Buck simply asks, “Can I make my own way? Catch you later?”
“Sure, babe.” Tommy’s expression is full of understanding, eyes soft. He tilts his head, slightly. “I’ll wait up for you?”
Buck nods. “Yeah, please.” He leans in, putting his mouth to Tommy’s mouth, pressing goodbye and gratitude into the kiss.
Tommy pulls back, graces Buck with a small curling of his lips, the smile dimmer than his usual given how the evening has played out, and then he’s over the threshold, toting the tupperware filled to the brim with uncelebrated birthday cake with him.
Buck closes the door behind him, gently, then pads back through the house.
Eddie is in the kitchen, but not quite how Buck left him. He’s still facing away, but now, instead of washing the same spot on the blade of the cake knife over and over, he has his hands braced on the edge of the counter, his head hanging down, like the effort of keeping it up has become too much.
He’s got to know Buck hasn’t left, must hear him reentering the room, a single set of footsteps, but he doesn’t acknowledge him in any way.
Buck goes to him. Stands at Eddie’s side, tries to see his expression in his dim reflection in the window, but it’s tricky with Eddie’s face lowered. “Eddie,” Buck says and is finally rewarded with Eddie looking up, raising his head so that his eyes meet Buck’s in the window.
The agony in his gaze is palpable.
Buck doesn’t know how to help. He saw how little comfort Eddie took from Tommy’s touch, so it seems pointless to try the same. But his hands itch to hold, to smooth over Eddie and check for points of pain, even though he knows his hurt is of the heart, not body. Knows it, because his own is the same. Buck hurts too: for Chris, for Eddie, for himself.
“Eddie,” Buck repeats, with no destination in mind except a route out of Eddie’s misery. But, if anything, the anguish displayed plainly on Eddie’s face only deepens. He squeezes his eyes shut and his hands fist, fingers curling in so tight his knuckles whiten.
“I’m losing him,” Eddie says.
“You’re not,” Buck answers back, automatic, but no less insistent for it. Eddie isn’t losing Chris. He can’t be losing him. They can’t be losing him.
“I am,” Eddie pushes back, lifting his hands from the counter to gesture wildly, grief uncontainable. “I’m losing him and it’s all my fault.”
“No.” Buck catches Eddie’s wrists, squeezes them, tries to press his belief, his faith, in Chris and Eddie’s relationship into Eddie’s skin, to transfer it to him. “You made a mistake, but he’s going to forgive you. He just needs a little more time.“
“I don’t think I can take any more time without him,” Eddie confesses, and there are tears shining in his eyes.
Buck drops his hold on Eddie’s arms, but only so he can wind his own around him, tug him into an embrace.
Eddie lets him, tucks his face into Buck’s neck, chokes out, “I just want him to come home.”
“I know,” Buck murmurs, smoothing one hand down the line of Eddie’s spine, his other arm wrapped firmly round his shoulders. “I know. I do too.”
“He loves his grandparents,” Eddie goes on, voice muffled in Buck’s shirt collar. “He could decide to just stay with them.”
“He loves you,” Buck states, an irrefutable fact. This he knows: he has been privileged to witness so much of the love Christopher has for his dad. “He’s not going to stay with them forever.”
“But,” Eddie protests, sounding lost and unsure, his fingers wound in the fabric of Buck’s shirt, his breath damp against Buck skin, “You love your parents. That doesn’t make them good ones. Ones you’d want to be with if you had a better option.”
“You are nothing like my parents.” Buck squeezes Eddie tighter to him, in tune with the ferocity of his words. “You– you are the best father I have ever seen. You love Chris so, so much. And– and he knows you do, he doesn’t have to doubt it.” Not like Buck did, every day of his life.
He continues, “Your mom and dad are not the better option for him. Sure, he’s having a nice summer with them. But, even if he’s still upset right now, I know he’s missing you too. He’s going to come home, because he belongs here, with you.” Of that Buck is sure. It’s Chris and Eddie: their bond is too deep, their relationship too strong, to be broken.
“But,” Eddie says again, “But what if he–”
“No,” Buck stops him, not willing to let Eddie hurt himself with his thoughts, his fears, more than he already has. “Chris loves you, Eddie. And he’s going to come home to you. He is.”
Buck doesn’t know if Eddie fully believes him, but his words are enough that Eddie slumps completely against him in something like relief. And all his stress and hurt over being separated from his son comes pouring out.
As he sobs, the spasming of his chest heaving against Buck’s and the trickle of his tears sliding down Buck’s skin, Buck holds him. Holds him and presses his lips to his temple and thinks please, Chris, please come home soon. Come home to us.
#911#911 abc#911 spoilers#911 fic#buddie#buddie fic#bucktommy is mentioned#but let's be real this is me this is 100% a buddie house#evan buckley#eddie diaz#8x01 missing scene#8x01 coda#except not really since it's not for the end of the ep#it took me entirely too long to write such a short piece but i can't even be mad about it#i'm just so glad to have written *something* for the first time in months#myfic
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can we get some bakugou recs 😊😊 (written and smaus pleaseee)
hello hellooo! oh man do i ever have some! you have no idea the can of worms you are opening my friend.
but first i am so sorry for how late this rec is! i wanted to get this done days ago, but the semester has been crazy packed. i'm going to get through all my asks one by one. thank you for your patience! anyways let's get into this !!
Bakugou Recs
Garden of Lungs (Hanahaki) by oweCrew [ao3]
synopsis: you have your whole life ahead of you, a promising future and jobs lined up after UA...but these stupid flowers are going to be the death of you, literally.
i flew through this fic so fast. it was the first time i had every heard of hanahaki disease and oof to my heart. i loved it!
Late Night Calls by fictionpls [ao3]
synopsis: much to bakugou's disdain, you skipped your meals again. tch, he's basically taking care of you at this point.
cute lil fluff oneshot with bakugou as your best friend...maybe more.
Nothing More, Nothing Less by @dekustowel
synopsis: bakugou made a big whoopsies. the only way to get out of it? fake date you, the internet's sweatheart, duh!
this smau idea has a hold on me. i'm a sucker for the fake dating trope. and i mean seriously, it's bakugou! [ongoing...]
Nerd (Affectionately) by @oniku-niku
synopsis: you're in love with bakugou, have been since you were kids. there was no use in hiding the truth. but did he have to be so rude about it??
most of this smau is a big ouch to the heart. but the drama gets heavier as the story goes on and i'm here for it! happy soft ending! :)
Speak by Kikyo851 [ao3]
synopsis: you could not believe that your soulmate was such a crude and violent person...just to spite the universe and him you decide not to say a word to your "soulmate."
soulmate au in which the first words that your soulmate says to you is written on your wrist. this fulfilled my needs of a bakugou soulmate au! so cute and it is complete!
Of Snowscapes & Explosions by sugarbun [ao3]
synopsis: you've been categorized as second to shoto todoroki ever since grade school. after a frustrated vent to bakugou and a few of his cracks revealing some of his own frustrations you realize that maybe you and him aren't so different after all.
guys....when i tell you this fic is the slowest slow burn. i feel like it's so accurate to how bakugou would actually fall for someone. sadly, this fic is unfished tho and hasn't been updated in a couple years😭 but you should read it anyways.
cover shot (through the heart) by @andypantsx3
cross posted on ao3 here! cover shot (through the heart) by andypantsx3
synopsis: you're the only one who can deal with bakugou's attitude in the industry. he hasn't found something that bothers you...until he starts flirting with you, hello??
model/celebrity au. super cute fic. i'm warning you this is much spicier than some of my other recs. mdni. (also check out this author's other works. they have a lot of top tier content!!)
Motherly Love by @kweenkatsuki-fics
synopsis: bakugou gives his mom a late night call to thank her. the reason why softens her heart greatly.
super soft lil drabble that just about brings me to tears everytime i read it. in love with bakugou fr.
déjà vu by @cashmoneyyysstuff
synopsis: bakugou thinks back to some oddly familiar memories with you. and one thing always stays the same, you both are together.
oneshot the made my jaw drop. hit me hard in the feels.
untitled oneshot by @honeypirate
synopsis: being paired with your number 1 enemy for a group project proved that the universe hated you. well might as well have some fun with this and make bakugou's life just as miserable.
college au oneshot. i am always down for a good enemies to lovers trope!
risky by @kusaka6e
synopsis: moving from another country to work as a pro hero in japan was not the easiest. and a certain hot headed hero only adds to your frustrations.
oneshot about the obvious grown tension between you and pro hero dynamite.
i hope you find something you like! sorry for the late rec, have a lovely day/night!
#bakugou#i come back to you every time#mha x reader#mha#mha bakugou#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#katsuki bakugou#bakugou x reader#bakugou x you#bakugou x y/n#bakugou katsuki#bnha x reader#bnha#bnha x you#bnha x y/n#katsuki bakugo x reader#bnha bakugo katsuki#bnha bakugou#katsuki x reader#katsuki x you#katsuki x y/n#ghost rec
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two aroaces try to figure out dates 28 injured 3 dead
(image description in alt text and under cut)
Image description:
The first page of a three-paged comic. Panel 1: Edgeworth crosses his arms with an uncertain expression, saying, "miss maya, i hope you don't mind me requesting your help on such a short notice. Panel 2: Edgeworth lifts his hand to his chin, saying "i want to show wright appreciation by inviting him to a date, but i have no idea what to do. i was wondering if you had any advice or ideas from the perspective of someone who also doesn't experience romantic attraction. Panel 3: Maya grins and says, "oh yea, totes! i can help! lemme quickly just--" Panel 4: Maya pulls out her phone, scrolling through her Ao3 page titled "mayoinnaise." She says uncertainly, "um…. date ideas right… erm…. ok gimme a sec…."
The second page of a three-paged comic. Panel 1: Maya and Edgeworth have a back-and-forth conversation, starting with Maya's speech bubble. "how about going to the countryside and horseback riding and having a picnic?" "horseback…? the countryside is hours away…" "okay um… just a picnic then?" "i'm allergic to pollen." "sounds like you're just allergic to dates. "apologies…" Panel 2: Maya says, "wait i have a great idea!! you should get drinks and watch something on tv until he gets mega drunk and starts crying at you because you're so beautiful!!" Below Maya's speech bubble is a little bubble titled "Maya vision:" where Phoenix is blushing with his tie around his head, saying "miles i love you" with a bunch of "u's" stretching out. Panel 3: Edgeworth, unamused, says "…you know maybe i should've gone to larry". Panel 4: Offended, Maya replies, "hey!" in all caps and bolded italic text. "do you think LARRY would have better advice? he'd be all like," Her speech bubble cuts off here, switching to one that mimics Larry, indicated by a small Larry head beside the speech bubble and text saying "Larry voice". It reads, "edgey boy you should take him to your place and fuck him raw!" Panel 5: Edgeworth, looking sick, replies, "…good point. now excuse me while i go throw up."
The last page of a three-paged comic. Panel 1: Maya scrolling desperately with a speech bubble consisting entirely of ellipses. Text on the corner of the panel reads, "(on her 7th ao3 page)". Panel 2: Maya suddenly exclaims "dinner!" in italicized all-caps. "nothing bad ever happens with dinner!" Panel 3: Edgeworth closes his eyes and presses a finger against his temple, saying, "last time we had a dinner 'date,' wright ate his salad with a butter knife…" Dejected, Maya replies, "right. that time. post cancelled no dinner i guess". Panel 4: Maya looks back at her phone with one hand up in defeat and says, "man, i'm sorry… pretty much all i write is homoeroticism and angst! maybe we should ask larry…" Edgeworth's speech bubble reassures her, "i appreciate the help regardless…" Panel 5: A context box in the top-left of the panel reads, "meanwhile, phoenix:" Phoenix sits on the couch outside the office with a confused expression, thinking "wtf are they talking about". There is text in the bottom left corner that reads "(they kicked him out of the office)".
End ID.
#ace attorney#miles edgeworth#maya fey#phoenix wright#wrightworth#narumitsu#phoenix wright ace attorney#kiwi’s scribbles#ship filter tag
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The Hand That Feeds - Idle Threats [iii]
Series Summary — Joel has watch duty with Jackson’s twenty-year old, smart-mouthed brat and gets more than he bargained for.
Chapter Summary — Tommy sets Joel up on a date with a lovely, soft spoken, age appropriate woman at the Tipsy Bison. He has a much better time in the restroom with a little girl who can’t keep his fingers out of her mouth.
Pairing — Joel Miller/Reader
Warnings — Explicit sexual content MDNI, brat taming, age gap, mean!Joel, religious imagery and symbolism, catholic guilt, jealousy, light angst
SERIES MASTERLIST
[cross posted to AO3]
When Joel wakes up the next morning, several hours later than usual, Tommy’s already sitting at the table beside Ellie. Maria is there too, smiling affectionately at the two of them as they bicker back and forth about one of the horses in the stables.
“She’s crazy,” Tommy says. “Always buckin’ and snappin’ at people. And she goes on hunger strikes, too. As if we don’t already worry about feeding ‘em.”
“Oh my God, dude,” Ellie grumbles. She stands from the table and disappears into the kitchen. When she returns, she acknowledges Joel as he laces up his boots only long enough to place a plate in front of him and say, “Made you a sandwich for lunch.” And then she turns back to Tommy. “She’s not crazy. You just have to be gentle. Approach with caution, isn’t that the saying?”
Joel thinks of you briefly at Ellie’s words. Approach with caution. It’s fitting, considering Joel tends to lose all morality within touching distance of you. But he’s not supposed to be thinking of you at all, and so he shoves the thought from his head as quickly as it appears.
But then he thinks he’s been outed, as if his brother could read his mind. “Speaking of crazy,” Tommy says. “Mike’s back from his run so he’ll be on watch tonight. You’ll be free of her from now on.”
He’s not sure why, but it bothers him a little that you’re being referred to as crazy. Made even worse when he realizes his brother is currently comparing you to the broodmare out in the stables. He wants to say something but doesn’t know the words to speak without making himself look suspicious.
Thankfully, Ellie does it for him. “You know, Tommy, I’m starting to think you’re just a pussy.”
Joel knows he should probably chastise her. Especially in front of Maria—who has always been a little standoffish about Ellie and her lack of discretion. But he doesn’t. Joel laughs to himself instead, comforted when his brother breaks out into chuckles of his own.
“Maybe so,” Tommy says. He stands from the table, and Maria follows him. But when she nudges Tommy with an elbow, he pauses and proceeds to ask, “You got plans tonight? Before your watch?”
Joel shrugs and takes a bite of his sandwich. “Not really.”
“So you’ll come have a drink with me then? At the Bison?”
Joel hesitates. He’s not sure why—quality time with his brother sounds like a fine time to him. But there’s something in the tone of his voice that puts Joel on edge. “Why?”
Maria answers for him. “To catch up,” she says. “Been a minute since it was just the two of you. You deserve that, I think.” And then she turns to Tommy and raises her brows, a suspicious smile on her face. “You know what? I’ll take your watch for you. Mike and I have some stuff to discuss anyway. You two can have a guys' night.”
He can sense the bullshit from a mile away. All but solidified with the grin Ellie hides behind her hand.
But Joel isn’t in the mood to argue. It’s obvious they’re doing it for a reason, but whatever it is can’t be that bad. Otherwise, Tommy would’ve told him already. “Alright, then.”
“Come help me move this firewood and I’ll buy the first round,” Tommy offers.
Joel agrees, and after making sure Ellie would be occupied and safe within the walls for the day, they set out towards the edge of the perimeter.
Tommy has the back of his truck bed overflowing with split wood. And truthfully, Joel is happy to see it. Because manual labor is a welcome distraction. Tommy’s incessant talking will occupy his mind and moving the wood from the truck to the stockpile will occupy his hands—both of which have tended to stray towards you as of late.
The only problem is that twenty minutes in, after updating Joel on how domestic his life has become since marrying Maria, Tommy looks over at his brother and asks, “Honestly, I never thought you’d be into the young ones.”
Joel’s chest tightens at the insinuation. He decides to play dumb, even knowing his brother likely sees right through him. “What do you mean?”
He throws an armful of wood onto the pile and puts his hands on his hips. Tommy’s got a light sheen of sweat on his face and a smug expression beneath it. “You had a conversation with her? Seriously, Joel? You think I’m that stupid?”
“Don’t go puttin’ words in my mouth,” he shoots back. “And you should be careful—throwin’ accusations around like that.”
Tommy narrows his eyes. “Is it an accusation?”
For a split second, Joel thinks about lying. But he’s never lied to his brother in all his life. Evaded direct questions and neglected the truth a little, sure. But he’s never lied, not to Tommy—and he doesn’t want to start now. So, he stays silent.
It’s answer enough. “Jesus, Joel,” he huffs. “She’s just a kid.”
“You think I don’t know that?” He forces his eyes away from Tommy, unable to face him. He gathers another armful of wood instead.
“No, no. I think you do know. Which makes this whole thing that much worse.”
Joel has half a mind to snap back at him. His brother is far from perfect, despite judging Joel like he’s got no mistakes made under his belt. But what he’s done is wrong. And isn’t this deserved, after all? Tommy’s allowed to be mad, to be disappointed.
So, Joel lets him cut deep.
“She don’t know any better,” he says. “Just an angry little girl, lost and lookin’ for someone to take care of her. And it can’t be you, Joel. Not like this. If you wanna…” Tommy moves his hands, swiping one out in front of him. “If you wanna keep her safe, protect her, that’s…ya know, that’s one thing. But usin’ her?”
Joel stops him, spine straightening as he tosses wood onto the pile. “It ain’t like that.”
“It’s cruel, s’what it is,” Tommy tells him. And Joel makes no argument. “I mean, seriously, what d’you expect is gonna happen? You two will, what? Fall in love, live happily ever after? You’re thirty two years older than her. Best case scenario, you live to be, what? Seventy? Seventy five? And she’ll still be around, left with nothin’ for the second half of her life. That what you want? She’s lost enough.”
He hears him. All of it. But Joel wants to know exactly what his brother means with those last three words. She’s lost enough. But now isn’t the time to ask, and Tommy isn’t the one he wants answers from. Joel lets out a long breath and shakes his head. “I told you, it ain’t like that. You think I’d let it go that far?”
Tommy scoffs. “You’ve already let it get this far. I don’t even know what all has happened and frankly, Joel, I’ve got no interest in findin’ out. I’m just sayin’ that whatever the hell’s goin’ on between you two, you’ve gotta put an end to it.”
Joel picks up more wood from the back of the truck. “I know,” he says, piling it on.
“I’m serious.”
“Goddammit, Tommy, I said I know,” he repeats, a little louder this time. “You gonna let me do all the fuckin’ work today or what?”
Tommy, thankfully, lets the subject go. But that painful ache in Joel’s chest? That stays and gets comfortable, makes a home where it doesn’t belong. They move the split wood in silence, though his mind is anything but.
There wasn’t a word untrue in his brother’s little spiel and Joel knows it. He doesn’t know what he wants from you, what business he has with you at all. It’s wrong to even think of you the way he does, to look at you the way he does…and acting on his impulses has been, perhaps, the worst thing Joel has ever done. Worse than killing. Worse than torturing. Worse than any lie he’s ever told.
Because he doesn’t regret it. Not even a little.
No. If Joel Miller could go back to the first day he met you, he’d still stare at that black lace beneath your wet shirt. He’d still admire the snow clinging to the ends of your hair. He’d still drink you in and eat you up and he’d still find an excuse to touch you, no matter what he tells himself.
But that doesn’t mean he can’t grow, that he can’t change. It doesn’t mean that he can’t be a better man, a man worthy of keeping you safe.
And he will, Joel vows silently. He will keep you safe, no matter what he’s done to you in the past. Someone has to look out for you, to keep you from falling off that edge of decency you like to toe so much.
When they’re tossing the last few logs onto the pile, Tommy wipes his brow with the back of his hand and says, “For what it’s worth, I think you deserve to find somebody.”
Joel shrugs. “I’ve got you and Ellie and this place. Don’t need much else, Tommy.”
“I know,” he says. And then again, “I know. But, uh…you know what I mean. Like a woman. Not a girl, but a real woman. Any of these other broads catch your eye?”
There’s something a little like hope in his eyes, and Joel knows his brother too well to believe this conversation is anything but a setup. “Why’re we talkin’ about this?”
Tommy squeezes the back of his neck. “That, uh…you know that drink we’d planned on havin’? It was…it was a lie. Kinda. You know Kelly? Works over at the grocer on Fourth Street. She’s real close with Maria.”
“No,” Joel immediately says, seeing right where this is headed. “No, I’m not doin’ that.”
“C’mon, man. What could it hurt? She’s got it real bad for you, ya know. The whole rugged caveman man thing seems to do it for her,” he jokes. Tommy’s laughing, but the joy bleeds from his face when he sees the threat in Joel’s eyes.
“I said no.”
When Joel turns to walk away, deciding to skip any quality time with his brother altogether for the sake of his sanity, Tommy grabs his shoulder and pulls him back. “Joel, look. Just…give it a shot. Kelly’s a real nice girl. Real pretty, too. Real young.”
Joel narrows his eyes. Thinks about clocking his brother in the goddamn nose.
Tommy laughs again and shakes his head. “Alright, I’m sorry. That was a little uncalled for,” he admits. He raises his hands in surrender. “All I’m sayin’ is it could be a good thing to put yourself out there a little. Get her out of your system.”
Joel doesn’t agree. There’s no erasing you, no scrubbing his hands clean. He’d made sure of it because he never wants to forget you. Never wants to wake up beside a lovely, soft spoken, age appropriate woman like Kelly one day and realize the taste of you has faded from his mouth, that the feel of your fingertips pressing into his flesh is nothing but a whisper of a memory.
He’d consumed the forbidden fruit not once but twice, all to ensure he’d always remember the taste of ambrosia.
So, no. Having a drink with Kelly would not get you out of his system.
“Tell you what,” Tommy says. “You go have a drink or two, see where it leads. And if you decide she ain’t worth the effort, come on over and we’ll crack open that bottle of Johnnie Walker that I found from the nineties.”
The scotch sounds like a much better idea than facing the woman currently waiting for him, but the longer Joel thinks about it, the more his brother’s words slot together in his brain. Maybe Tommy’s right. About trying, at least.
You’re too well embedded within him for Joel to ever forget you. But maybe it would help to curb his…urges if he was distracted by someone else. If he wasn’t always so high strung, if he could lose himself within a body that isn’t yours.
Could he protect you better that way? Protect you from him a little easier? Maybe…maybe it would help. Maybe he could somehow keep you safe without it also being cruel, as Tommy had put it.
And, for you…it was worth a shot. For you, he would try.
“You want a ride back to town?”
Joel shakes his head. Tells his brother he needs the walk back. It’s only a couple blocks to the bar and Joel needs the quiet. Needs the time to think, to convince himself that this might actually work.
And it could…right? Kelly isn’t bad looking. She’s got pretty blonde hair and green eyes, and her voice sounds a little like a character from a movie Joel watched once. Some southern belle who made pies and sat them on the window sill to cool.
Even though Joel doesn’t want to convince himself it matters, Kelly is also in her late thirties. Nearly twice your age. Young…but not twenty.
Joel makes his decision as he steps onto Main Street.
The Tipsy Bison is one of the most popular attractions in the commune. It’s a warm little place. The lights are low, and there’s always some blues rock song playing in the background. The walls are covered in framed photos, taxidermied mounts, old-school plaques. Little momentos all courtesy of Jackson’s population. Joel’s been here a couple of times with Tommy, and he can’t deny the nostalgia it brings up in him.
It feels like before. Before the outbreak, before the end of the world.
He thinks of you then, wonders how different you’d be if the two of you had met in that world instead of this one.
And as soon as the thought crosses his mind, Joel begins to wonder if he’s fucking cursed.
Because there, at the end of the round bar, you sit in one of the oak stools. You’ve got one leg folded beneath you, leaning against the bartop with a ballpoint ben clutched between your fingers. You’re writing in that journal you tried so hard to casually hide from him the other day, the one Joel has an insatiable desire to read.
You look beautiful when you think no one’s looking. Lively and youthful, soft and sweet. You’re wearing a pretty black dress with a sparse, white floral pattern printed on it. A jean jacket rests over your shoulders, and it’s a size too big but Joel thinks it fits you just right. Your black socks are bunched down around your ankles, and beneath the barstool there’s a pair of leather boots that sit unoccupied. Your hair falls loosely down your back, and Joel wants to run his hands through it. He knows it’s soft, knows it feels a lot like satin.
But maybe he needs a reminder.
“Joel! I’m so glad you could make it!”
It’s only then he notices Kelly in her yellow blouse. She’s sitting just two seats down from you, sunshiney demeanor grabbing the attention of the rest of the patrons as she calls out for him.
Your whole body goes rigid at the sound of his name. And Joel’s blood ignites in his veins as you turn your head slowly and glance at him over your shoulder.
It’s a simple look, but it feels far from innocent.
Kelly approaches him, and Joel forces himself to look at her instead of you. Forces a smile onto his face, too, despite the obvious sway of her hips. He tries not to think about how her subtle charm isn’t nearly as enticing as your foul mouth. “Saved you a seat,” she tells him.
He lets her take his hand and pull him to the bar. Kelly smells like patchouli and Joel doesn’t hate it. It’s just…not quite right. Too earthy, too warm. He can’t explain it.
The desire to leave already rises in him. This is too much, too uncomfortable. Even though you’re not looking at him anymore, turned back to that leatherbound journal and scribbling intently, Joel cannot take his attention off of you.
Kelly notices. She sits between the two of you, and her head pivots from him to you, and then back to him. Her voice is lower as she suggests, “I know this isn’t the most secluded of places. Do you want to go somewhere a little more private?”
Joel opens his mouth to answer, but you beat him to it.
“Try the northwestern outpost,” you say without picking your head up. It’s resting casually in your left hand as if you hadn’t just blatantly been listening in on a question very clearly not meant for your ears.
“The outpost?” Kelly laughs, a crease forming between her brows in confusion. “Why would we go there?”
“Ignore her,” Joel says.
It’s then that you finally look up from your journal. Your mouth quirks up at the corners as you look only at Kelly. “You’ll like it there,” you tell her. “Trust me. It’s secluded and private, just like you want. I’m sure you two could get up to all kinds of nefarious activities.”
Kelly flushes, cheeks turning crimson at your insinuation. “O-oh…I didn’t mean…”
“What?” You snicker. “Isn’t that what this is?”
“Stop,” Joel orders. And he means it. Hopes you’ll see the warning on his face and take it seriously. But you don’t even look at him, and Joel wonders if this is how Maria feels. Invisible.
He couldn’t survive it for weeks like Maria has. Thirty seconds of it has his skin crawling.
“No, it’s not,” Kelly says. Her face is still pink, but her shoulders are pulled back all the same. She’s confident as she tells you, “It’s a date.”
Your eyes widen at that, brows rising. Joel can tell you’re holding back a laugh, can sense the impending doom that’s bound to follow whatever the fuck comes out of your mouth. And his assumption is proved correct as you say, “Hm. That’s…real interesting. Didn’t peg him for a man who’d be into someone like you.”
“That’s enough,” Joel says through gritted teeth. He’s been able to see right through you from the very beginning, could see that dog-like fight buried beneath your innocent looking exterior. Joel knows you’re a brat, but he’s beginning to think maybe you’re just simply fuckin’ vicious.
Poor Kelly, for what it’s worth, retains her composure. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Your voice is sickly sweet, sarcasm almost undetectable in your answer. “You’re just so…so nice , Kelly! And so pretty, you know? Like, uhm…hm. How to put it…” You tap your pen against your journal as if you’re real deep in thought. Joel can hear the words before they leave your mouth. “You’re just so lovely and soft spoken. And Joel’s…well, Joel’s Joel.”
Kelly giggles and actually thanks you, completely unaware of the insult in your sugary words. And then she shrugs and says, “You know, sometimes opposites attract. Right, Joel?”
It feels like a kick to the chest when you finally, finally turn your eyes on him. It knocks the air from his lungs, the flicker of spite in your expression more threatening than that of any rabid dog he’s ever encountered. You smirk and repeat Kelly’s words. “Right, Joel?”
His heart is beating so fast he thinks it might explode. Unfortunately, however, it doesn’t, and Joel is left with the two of you staring right at him, expecting an answer. He swallows hard and says, “...Right.”
“Well, I’ll leave you to it, then.” You stand to your feet, gathering your journal and pen in one hand and your boots in the other.
Joel watches you sit on the other side of the bar, further out of earshot this time. The bar is too small for you to sit anywhere and not hear them, but the effort is there. And Kelly, it seems, is satisfied with it.
“Sorry about that,” she says to Joel, voice lowering to a whisper. “Have you met her before? She’s kind of a recluse. Sticks to herself. Bit of a troublemaker, really.”
He hardly hears her, ears finetuned to pick up the cadence of your voice as you speak to Tara who’s tending the bar. You laugh at some joke she makes, and order ‘that one drink that doesn’t taste bad but has all those different alcohols in it. What’d you call it last time? A long island?’
“Anyway,” Kelly says. “Can I admit something to you?”
Joel, genuinely, could not give a fuck less about whatever she’s going to say. But he forces himself to pay attention to the woman in front of him and not the girl at the other end of the bar. “Sure.”
“I wasn’t sure you’d show up,” she says.
Me neither, Joel doesn’t.
“She has a point, you know. I feel like we don’t have much in common. But…I like you, Joel,” Kelly confesses. She sets her hand on his arm, fingers squeezing lightly.
And it’s wrong. It’s all fucking wrong—too soft, too tender. Not enough claws. Not enough you.
But that’s not fair, is it? Joel isn’t hear to compare the two of you. He’s here to try. For you. For your safety.
He tries to give her a warm smile, knows it comes across as more of a grimace. “Yeah,” he sighs.
“So, how do you like Jackson so far?”
The small talk is slowly killing him. “It’s great,” he says honestly. “I think it’ll be good for Ellie.”
She nods. “Of course. I’ve heard a little about what you two went through to get here. It must’ve been hard, a young girl like her.”
“Ellie’s strong,” Joel says.
“Oh, I’m not disagreeing,” Kelly defends. “I just mean girls that age can be a little unruly. Best to have a routine, you know? So they don’t end up like that.”
Joel almost pressures her then, urges her to say exactly what she’s thinking. He can read between the lines, knows she’s referring to you and your bad behavior. Joel wishes he could come to your defense. But he can’t, so he just says quietly, “Yeah.”
He’s not adding much in the way of discussion. He knows he should be asking about Kelly, about her family or her pastimes or anything. But he doesn’t care, and he doesn’t have it in him to pretend he does. He’s thankful when Tara approaches and asks if they want to order anything.
Kelly orders a Coke, and Joel orders a double whiskey neat.
Tara sets them down in less than a minute, and Joel’s already tossing his back before the glass can touch the bartop.
She eyes him suspiciously for a moment and then carefully asks, “Do you…drink a lot, Joel?”
“No.”
You burst into a fit of rambunctious laughter, trying to play it off like a cough at first. But your amusement is loud and obnoxious and you’ve got one hand over your mouth, and you quickly give up pretending to be polite. When you notice they’ve both turned to stare at you, Kelly with her brows knitted together in bewilderment and Joel with that signature scowl on his face, you wave your hand in dismissal. “I’m sorry,” you choke out through your giggles. “I just remembered something funny. Sorry, I’ll be quiet.”
Joel turns back to his date, but sees you stand out of the corner of his eye. Watches you disappear down the hall to the back of the bar.
“Oh, okay. Well that’s…that’s good,” Kelly says. “That you don’t drink. I don’t either.”
He nods once. Clears his throat. Prays silently for this awkward atmosphere to dissipate.
“Maria told me….uhm, she told me you had a daughter.”
Nope.
Joel’s barstool scrapes against the floor noisily as he rises to his feet. “Been a while since I’ve had something so strong,” he says, nodding to his empty glass. “Whiskey went right through me. I’ll be back.”
He finds you right where he expects. You’re in the dimly lit restroom at the back of the bar, standing with your back against the counter, hands braced behind you. Joel catches a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror above the sink and thinks he looks a little untamed, a little feral. You’ve got a playful smirk on your face as if this whole situation is just so funny, and it rubs his nerves raw. “You need to leave,” he says, standing as far away from you as possible.
You don't comment on his words. Don't even acknowledge that he’s said them. “Kelly, Joel? Really?”
No, not really. It’ll never be Kelly. Not the one he ends up with, not the one he distracts himself with. Joel knew as much the moment he set foot in this bar. But he doesn’t correct you—he’s too busy trying to get himself under control. Too busy trying to stop staring at your bare thighs, at the space where they disappear beneath the seam of your dress. He’s too busy praying to a God he stopped believing in long ago, begging for strength.
Because he’s all out of options. Nothing he’s tried has worked, and Joel knows now that it’ll take some divine force to keep him from you.
“I didn’t take you for the kinda man to move on so fast,” you continue. “I wonder if Kelly knows where you spent your night.”
“Stop that,” he warns. “That ain’t fair.”
“Fair? And you somehow think you being here, flaunting her like that in front of me is?”
“I’m not flauntin’ anybody.”
This has got you worked up, Joel can tell. So much so that he can see the pulse throbbing in your neck from here. “You’re an asshole, dude. Seriously.”
Joel stiffens at the curse word in your mouth. But he doesn’t do or say anything about it. It’s not his place. Not anymore. He made sure of it. “We can’t do this. It ain’t right.”
“You can’t,” you correct. “Don’t put this on me, Joel. You do what you have to do—but don’t make it my fault.”
“I’m not blamin’ you,” he insists. Anger rises in him, hot and uncontrollable. It’s not your fault and it never has been. Joel hates that he’s somehow put the idea in your head and he aches to set it right. You’re not the problem. He is. Joel and his inability to keep his hands off you.
“Yes, you are.”
“That’s not true.”
“Yes, the fuck it is.”
“No, I’m—” Joel stops, sighs heavily, presses his fingertips into his throbbing temple. “Will you stop and hear me out for one second?”
“Mm…let me think.” You’re grinning like this is some kind of joke. It only serves to annoy him more. You tap your index finger against your chin in a forgery of contemplation and then say, “Probably not.”
And Joel loses it. He crosses the small room in just two steps, grabs your face in his hand and tilts your chin upwards, forcing your attention to remain only on him. “I’m not askin',” he says darkly. It’s a wretched thing on his part that he enjoys the flash of unease in your eyes, but Joel’s too angry to think too deeply about it. “Now, you’re gonna shut that pretty mouth of yours and listen. You understand?”
You look up at him through your lashes and Joel’s weak in the knees. While your eyes are shining and bright and painfully innocent, your response is anything but. “If you want me to shut my mouth, then maybe you should put something in it.”
Joel swallows as you reach below his belt. He catches your wrist in his hand seconds before you find evidence of just how much you affect him. A hundred images flash through his mind— fantasies of what he wants to do to you, how badly he wants to defile you. He wants to push you to your knees and force himself down your throat. Wants to wake up to your mouth around him. Wants to feel your tongue on the underside of his cock, familiarizing itself with the veins there. He wants to peer down at you beneath the dinner table, that sweet mouth of yours drooling for the sustenance only he can provide. Wants to finish at the back of your throat with the taste of you on his lips. “Enough,” he snarls, equal parts to himself and to you.
“What’s wrong, Joel? You don’t like it when I’m mean to you?” Your voice is sugary sweet, that same subtly sarcastic tone you took with Kelly. But then it falls away, all radiance bleeding from your words. “Join the fucking club.”
It’s then he sees it—the slight tremble in your bottom lip, the way you fight against your watery eyes, the slump in your shoulders. You’re not being bratty just to make him mad. You’re doing it because you’re hurting. Seeing him here with another woman has hurt you, and Joel feels his heart crack behind his ribcage at the realization.
He knows he doesn’t have to explain himself, knows he probably shouldn’t. Knows it would be best to just let you hurt for a little while until you decide to hate him. Because if you hate him Joel won’t have such a hard time resisting you. He wouldn’t be begging the divine forces for strength to hold himself back if you were pushing him away.
But he can’t let you be hurt if he has the power to fix it, either. He should. But he can’t.
His grip on your jaw softens. “I didn’t know,” he says. Joel wills his fingers to stay still but they, like you, don’t listen to his wisely spoken advice—his thumb strokes your cheekbone, his pinky presses against your throat to feel the flutter of your pulse. “They set it up…Maria and Tommy. I didn’t know.”
Your stare is hard, but he sees the long breath you release and knows that his confession has done its job. “And that’s somehow supposed to make this better?”
“No, I…” He doesn’t know what to say. Doesn’t know the words to make this right. “I’m just sorry s’all.”
Your eyes narrow just slightly, searching for something on his face. A lie, maybe—but he would never lie. Not to you. He feels the coil of anxiety that’s weaved itself around his neck loosen as you place your hand over his and lean into his touch. “Joel, why did you follow me here?”
He doesn’t know.
Or at least, that’s what he’s been telling himself.
But as he stands here now, holding you close, slipping his free hand around your waist and resting it against the curve in the small of your back, Joel can admit the truth. “I can’t stay away from you, baby.”
You stare up at him so beautifully—a perfect picture of innocence, the most mouth-watering fruit he’s ever seen. You press a tiny kiss to the pad of his thumb, bringing his hand down lower, just beneath your jaw. “No one’s making you go anywhere,” you say. “You can stay right here.”
Joel stares at you, entranced, forgetting that too much of a good thing can turn to poison, as you press your lips to each of his fingers—index, middle, ring, pinky, and then repeat the action in reverse. He feels a little like he’s being worshiped. It makes heat bloom in his chest, warming him from the inside out.
You’re right. Joel hates it when you’re mean. To him, anyway. But you make up for it when you’re being like this; sweet and kind and angelic, his perfect little girl. Ambrosia-flavored venom, Joel thinks. “I can’t,” he says.
And then your soft tongue darts out between your lips, licking up his middle finger, and Joel’s breathing turns heavy. You watch him tremble as you pull his hand closer, leaning forward to take his finger into your mouth.
He shudders at the softness of you, at being inside of you. You’re so pretty like this, Joel thinks. With his finger in your mouth, the low lights reflecting in your hair, eyes wide and desperate. “Fuck,” he breathes, drawing out the word.
You pull your head back, mouth hanging open. “Language,” you scold. And Joel laughs lightly, and you mirror the sound, and then he’s lifting you onto the counter, and this time you take both his middle and index finger into your mouth and Joel is moaning.
It feels so good. It’s so fucking good that he could die . Pretty girl sucking on his fingers because it’s the only part of him he’s allowing you to have in this moment. But he knows how badly you want more because Joel does, too. Wants to feed you his cock, wants to fuck you right here in this bathroom with your panties pulled to the side and his date waiting out there for him.
But no. No. You deserve better than this. Better than a sleazy bar bathroom, better than to be kissed only in secret. Better than him. “We can’t, baby,” he whispers.
You only hollow out your cheeks in response, sucking his fingers in deeper. Joel lets you because he can’t bring himself to stop it.
“I’m sorry, I…it ain’t right. It ain’t…you’re too young, sweetheart. You know what…goddamn, you know what people will say? About the both of—both of us?” Joel moves his free hand from your spine, rests it on the inside of your thigh instead. “They’ll think I’m some dirty old man, touching’ you like this…they’ll say I’m a pervert, that I’ve got no business bein’ near you. And they won’t be wrong, baby, don’t you get that?”
You squeeze your thighs together and tilt your hips forward, whimpering sweetly around his thick fingers in your mouth. Your eyes are pleading as you grab his wrist and slip his hand beneath your dress.
Joel can’t help himself. He presses hard against your clit, grinning at the little whine you let out in response. “Y’like that, hm?” You’re nodding and Joel’s mouth is watering and he knows he shouldn’t but, fuck, he has to. “You know what they’ll say about you?”
When he moves your panties to the side his fingers glide through your slit easily. You’re so wet, so fucking wet and he can’t wrap his mind around the fact that it’s all for him. Your head falls back, thudding softly against the glass mirror. Your chest heaves and your breath is hot against his drool-covered palm.
“They’ll call you a slut, baby,” he whispers tenderly. “They’ll say you spread your legs for any man who gives you attention, and that ain’t what you want, is it?” Joel rubs circles around your clit, feeling it throb beneath his middle finger. His hand moves fast, desperate to get you there, to take that ache away. “We can’t have that, sweetheart. You know why?”
You shake your head, tongue sliding between his fingers. Joel pushes them in deeper.
“Because if anyone but me ever called you a slut an’ I heard about it?” He presses your clit harder, grinning when you start panting. “I’d have to kill ‘em, baby.”
A whimper leaves you at that. Joel chuckles darkly as you lift your legs, trying to find purchase on the countertop to no avail.
He wonders if you think he’s joking. Joel knows he’s not.
“C’mon. You got it. Legs up,” he says, nudging your knee with his shoulder. When the heel of your boot catches the edge of the counter, he helps you with the other one and praises, “There you go. Spread ‘em wide, baby.”
Joel’s cock throbs in his jeans, painfully hard, pushing against his zipper. He ignores it because the second he gives it any thought he’ll be pulling it out and indulging himself in you as if last night meant nothing. And it can’t mean nothing.
His name is muffled in your mouth as you whine, but Joel knows what you’re trying to say. He knows how close you are, can feel it in the needy movement of your hips.
“S’okay, I know,” he whispers. He allows himself to appreciate the way you look with his fingers in your mouth for one more second before hooking them around your jaw and pulling your face toward his. Your eyes flutter open, but there’s nothing but blind trust in them. It makes him feel bruised, tender, devoted.
And then he takes his fingers out of your mouth, reaches down, and slides them into your pussy instead.
Joel kisses you hard, echoing the sound of your moans. You taste a little like alcohol and a whole lot like addiction, and he’s never been so thrilled to have a fix. He drinks you in, tongue sliding against yours, licking into you like it’ll be the last time. Joel knows it won’t be, and he wonders why that thought is so goddamn comforting.
Your legs begin to shake. One of them slips off the countertop. “Joel,” you whimper into his mouth. “Joel, I’m gonna come, I’m—”
“Go’head, baby, c’mon. Give it to me.” His fingers are covered with your drool and slick, pooling in his palm as he strokes that spot inside you that makes you writhe. He’s still circling your clit with his other hand and keeps up a steady pace. When your fingers tangle in the dark curls at the nape of his neck and pull, Joel just kisses you harder despite the ache it brings.
“Ohh, God, God, Joel, please don’t stop, don’t stop—!”
He feels your walls clench around his fingers and Joel lets out a moan of his own, his cock convulsing in his jeans. “Yeah…there you go. Good girl, baby. You listen so fuckin’ good when you’re all full’a me, don’t you?” He fucks you through it, relief reverberating through his ribcage with the sounds you make. “Sweet little thing, just need ta’ be told what to do, ain’t that right? Hm?”
You moan his name one final time, and before your breathing evens out you’re pulling his flannel out of his jeans and tugging at his belt buckle. “Joel, please, please, please.”
He thinks you beg so prettily. He thinks he doesn’t deserve it. Not your attention, not your desperation, not your trust or admiration. Yet he doesn’t stop you, even knowing he should.
Never in his life has he wanted someone so badly. And never in his life has he wanted to protect someone so much. It’s an impossible task. One he’ll undeniably fail over and over and over again. He thinks about his conversation with Tommy and his gut wrenches.
But then you look up at him and all doubt ebbs away, fading into nothingness. Joel knows this feeling. Had nearly forgotten it, in truth. But it hits him like a freight train now, like a bullet to the head. You smile at him and Joel feels heat stain his cheeks and it’s here, here, in this sleazy bar bathroom that he remembers what it feels like to be cherished.
And it’s been so long, so very long, that Joel’s forgotten until this very moment just how hungry for it he’s been.
What’s a starved man to do but devour?
You carefully snake your hand beneath his jeans. Your fingers are soft, delicate, as they wrap around his hard length and squeeze. There isn’t a second that you look away from him, and he wonders if you can read his mind, if you can see the shift in him, if you can hear all his rapturous thoughts of admiration.
The leather of his belt bites deliciously into his hips with the extra pressure. Your hand begins to move, stroking him softly. Joel’s eyes almost roll to the back of his head, but he resists because he doesn’t want to forget this moment. Doesn’t want to look away from you. He reaches up and takes your face in his hands. “You’re so pretty, baby,” he says, kissing you softly. “Keep goin’, just like that.”
Just a few quick touches and he’s melting; putty in your hands, unable to catch his breath. “Like this?” You squeeze him harder, stroke him faster, and Joel groans. “Am I doing good?”
He doesn’t even have it in him to be embarrassed as he explodes so quickly at the sweet sound of your voice. “Fuck, sweetheart— mm, so good. Such a good little girl, shit.”
A pretty smile graces your face as he coats your hand in stickiness, satisfied with your work. You draw out every last drop until he’s trembling, and even then you make no effort to slow your movements.
Joel grabs your wrist to still you, every inch of him overly sensitive. And when you wiggle your hand out of his jeans you giggle as you lick up the mess he made. He can’t take his eyes off of your pretty pink tongue as it slides between your fingers, the filthiest thing he’s ever seen.
When you’re finished, you push yourself off the counter and straighten your dress. “I get it,” you say quietly. “Why you don’t want to be with me. I mean…I don’t really, because I don’t give a fuck what any of these people have to say about me.”
It nearly gives him whiplash. Joel doesn’t understand how you can be licking his come off your fingers one second and go right back to being angry with him the next. But that irritation has slipped back into your voice with a vengeance, leaving Joel at a loss.
“So, I guess I get it, but I don’t understand,” you continue. “I did tell you this would happen, though, didn’t I? Gave you the idea, most likely. So…you know. Go ahead. Go have your date with Kelly. Go find an age appropriate woman, and I’ll find an age appropriate man, and we’ll just—”
“No.” His voice is dark, leaving no room for argument. The thought of you with someone else brings up a fiery rage in him, burning his insides, leaving nothing behind but bloodthirst. “Don’t be like that.” Please. He doesn’t want to lose this place. He doesn’t want to lose you.
“No?” You shake your head. “I’m not going to wait around for you to make up your mind about me, Joel.”
You shoulder past him and walk out of the door without another word.
Joel feels the loss like a knife.
[part two] [part four]
#joel miller#ao3 fanfic#ellie williams#joel miller smut#ao3 writer#smut#idle threats#pearlessance#joel miller x reader#joel miller fanfic#joel the last of us#ellie the last of us#tommy tlou#jackson era joel#joel miller fic#light angst#suck my fingers#joel miller has an oral fixation confirmed
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Leverage (Michael Gavey x fem Reader)
Chapter 1
Summary: When your ex threatens to release some very personal videos you are left with no choice but to do what he asks: seduce the biggest nerd on campus, Michael Gavey. Will you rock his world or will he fundamentally change yours?
Word count: +2300
Warning for the entire fic: 18+ for explicit content and language. Kissing, oral sex (male receiving), dry humping, hand job, fingering, p in v sex. First kiss and loss of virginity. Experienced reader. Enemies to lovers vibes.
Fluff, smut and of course angst (my favorite combination! lol) I haven't watched Saltburn yet so all characters in this fic except for Michael are my own.
Chapter 2 will be posted next week and the plan is to post weekly, there will be 4-5 chapters (depending on how far the muse takes me)
***
All my fics are also on AO3
***
You should have known something was off the second Ben sat down in front of you in the library that morning. You two hadn’t spoken since you’d broken up, some 6 months ago now. The split had been amicable but neither of you had felt the need to pretend to remain friends afterwards. He was a stranger to you now and you preferred it that way.
You both moved in different social circles in the university these days, meaning he was living his dream as a popular fuck boy getting drunk every night and you spent most nights in your dorm room focusing on your studying.
“I need a favor,” he bluntly started the conversation.
“No,” you answered without looking up from your book.
“I think you should hear me out first.”
“Ben, we haven’t spoken in months,” you sighed,”What makes you think I would help you now?”
He leaned closer to you over the table, making you lean back to keep the distance between you two.
“The firm I’ve been dreaming of getting into is offering an internship to whoever scores highest on this upcoming test,” he explained.
“Great, you should start hitting the books then.”
“It’s no use.”
“Why not? I thought you were so smart?”
“I am so smart,” he smirked, making you roll your eyes,”But not as smart as him.”
You looked up and noticed he wasn’t looking at you anymore but his gaze was drawn to the guy sitting a few tables away. You recognized him instantly: ugly outdated shirt, even uglier beige cargo pants and big glasses on his nose, buried into his books as usual. The biggest nerd on campus and beyond: Michael Gavey.
“He’s your competition?” you snorted,”Good luck with that!”
“Luck won’t help me, that’s why I need your help.”
“What on earth am I going to do? I suck at math, you know that.”
“That’s not why I need you,” he shook his head and sighed,”A job at that firm is my dream, it’s what I’ve always wanted and worked towards for the past two years.”
“And if you pass that test you’ll get it.”
“Nobody can beat Gavey, everyone knows the guy’s a fucking genius.”
“Then he deserves the internship, don’t you think?”
”He can literally get any job he chooses, I need this one and I won’t let that freak take it from me.”
For the first time you leaned forward and looked into his eyes, indulging him and giving into your own curiosity.”What do you want from me then?”
“Look at him, I bet that guy’s never even had a girl look at him twice, especially not a pretty girl like you, that dude’s got virgin written all over him, hasn’t he?”
“How is that any of your business, Ben? Maybe he’s not even interested in girls, you ever though of that?” you opted, deliberately ignoring his compliment.
“Oh, believe me he’s interested, I’ve seen him stare when he thinks nobody’s looking. He may pretend to be above all that but the fucker is just as horny as the rest of us.”
“Speak for yourself.” You leaned back and kept your eyes on him while you crossed your arms,”You still haven’t told me what you want from me.”
“I was thinking, having a pretty girl like you pay attention to him might take his mind off all this studying, a distraction like that could kill a man’s entire focus.”
“Only a man who thinks with his dick.”
He smirked at you,”Or a man who’s never had his dick touched.”
“You’re fucking disgusting."
He lifted his hands in innocence,”I just want you to distract the guy a little, make him forget about stupid tests and internships so I can have a fighting chance.”
”You want me to fuck him,” you realized.
He gave you a lazy smirk, his gaze hardening suddenly,“I want you to do whatever it takes to ruin him.”
The words left his mouth so casually and easily it was making you nervous.
“You’re mad, there’s no way. Ask one of the whores you always hang out with, I’m sure there’s plenty…”
“I’ve asked, none of them want him.”
You sighed, annoyed.”Of course they don’t.”
“I need it to be you.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re the only one I can convince to do this.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at that and you shook your head,”You’re out of your mind if you think I would even consider…”
He didn’t let you finish your sentence but instead shoved a photo towards you on the table.
“What is this?”
“This is what I would call leverage.”
You looked at him in confusion,”This is just a blurry picture, what am I supposed to be looking at?”
He smirked at you,”Do you remember that one night we got insanely crazy drunk and I borrowed my roommate’s camera?”
It was only then that you realized what you were watching. It was a picture of a video. A video of a night you had tried very hard to erase from your memory, a night you wished had never happened.
“You kept that?” you asked quietly, the unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach quickly growing.
“It never left my computer,” he said as if it was something to be proud of,”And I guess…we’d both like it to stay on there wouldn’t we? And not…get lost on the internet or around university or something, I mean…I imagine you wouldn’t want that, right?”
You looked at him in complete disbelief and your voice was shaking with your next words,”You wouldn’t…you wouldn’t do that.”
His dark eyes stayed locked on yours,”Don’t doubt that I will do whatever it takes to get what I want, sweetheart.”
You shivered at the cold determination in his tone.
“I’m sorry,” he added,” but I need you to do what I ask if you want that video to stay with me. Get to know Gavey, make him believe you’re interested, how far you take it…is entirely up to you. Just make it work.”
****
You found Michael in his same spot in the library the next day, leaning on his elbow while he was taking notes in one of his many text books.
For a few moments you just watched him from a distance, watched how enthralled he was in his work, how focussed his eyes were on the pages in front of him, how he kept pushing up his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose in concentration. If the world around him caught on fire right now he probably wouldn’t even notice, all he had eyes for were the numbers in front of him. Ben was right to fear him, this guy’s focus was top-tier, it would take a lot more than a silly girl like yourself to break it.
But what choice did you have? You had to try.
You stood frozen for a while, uncertain as to how you were going to proceed. You didn’t want to be here and just the thought of what you had to do made your stomach turn. But Ben had left you with no other choice. If that video ever saw the light of day it was over for you.
You swallowed your nerves and walked up to Michael’s table and took a seat opposite him, trying to act both casual and confident. But you were too nervous to pull either of those off.
You cleared your throat before you spoke,”Hey.”
Michael didn’t react, he didn’t even flinch, making you think he hadn’t heard you at all.
You opened your mouth to speak again but he beat you to it,”What do you want?”
He was still writing and didn’t bother to look up at you.
“Michael?” you asked carefully,”Michael Gavey?”
“You know my name, congratulations, what do you want?”
Your heart sank. How were you ever going to distract this guy when he didn’t even acknowledge your presence? How were you in any position to get his attention when he wasn’t even interested enough to grant you a simple glance?
This was going to be a lot harder than you thought.
“I need a tutor,” you blurted out.
“I’m not your guy,” he answered immediately with a small shake of his head.
“So you’re not the smartest guy on campus then? Shit, I must have been misinformed,” you tried to lighten the mood and it seemed to work.
His lips curled up into the tiniest of smiles but it was gone as quickly as it appeared,”Flattery doesn’t work on me.”
“Flattery works on everyone. Come on.”
He was shaking his head again all the while still writing things down in his notebook, determined to keep up his act of ignoring you and it was starting to piss you off.
“It’s rude not to look at people when they talk to you, you know?”
Michael just shrugged his shoulders,”Tutoring is a waste of my time, go find someone else.”
“You’re the smartest guy here.”
“I already told you, flattery will get you nowhere.”
“I can pay you,” you blurted out and just like that you had his attention. He stopped writing and put his pen down, finally looking up to meet your eyes.
“Right,” he sighed,”Because money opens every door, does it?”
His gaze was hard and his lips pursed in a thin line, he was clearly annoyed with you.
“No, that’s not…”
”You rich pricks think money will buy you everything your little heart desires. It’s fucking pathetic.”
“That’s not what I meant…I’m not…” you sighed, defeated as you watched Michael pack up his notebooks and rise from his seat.
“Piss off, spoilt little rich girl and ask one of your rich friends to tutor you. I am not your guy.”
And that was it. You failed before you even had the chance to really try. You weren’t one to give up easily but after that interaction you had no hope of ever getting close to Michael Gavey. The guy was rude and insufferable and clearly not interested in you in any way.
You tried to carry on with your days after that but the weight of Ben’s threat was hanging over your shoulders and dragging you down, making you anxious every day. You were frustrated at the power he still held over you. And even more frustrated by the fact that there was nothing you could do about it.
Your mind was somewhere else entirely when you started your shift at the local pizza place that Thursday night. At least work gave you something to do and keep yourself busy instead of eating yourself up with worry every night. When the manager called asking if you were available for some extra shifts that week you jumped at the chance.
You were working on automatic pilot that night, making your way through the tables and taking clients orders when you arrived at his table.
“Good evening, sir, how may I help you tonight?”
It was only when you looked up and the person in front of you lowered his menu that you recognized him. Gavey.
He opened his mouth to speak but stopped when his eyes met yours, a flash of recognition running across his face.
“It’s…you,” he realized and looking at your name plate he called you by your name.
“Yes, it’s me, hi,” you sighed, trying to stay polite even though he had been so rude to you last time. God, please, don’t let him be a difficult customer, you were not in the mood for this tonight. “What can I get for you, Michael?” you asked with your best customer service smile.
Much to your surprise Michael returned your smile with one of his own, a little awkward and probably as forced as yours but at least he wasn’t calling you names or yelling at you this time. And instead of avoiding your eyes he couldn’t seem to look away from you tonight.
“You…work here?” he asked, confused,”I’ve never seen you here before.”
“I usually only work the weekends, I’m filling in for a sick colleague tonight,” you explained,”The extra money is always welcome, you know.”
“You’re not…you’re not one of them,” he realized, his voice softer than you had ever heard it.
“One of who?”
“Those vapid rich cunts you always hang out with.”
And just like that he was making it harder to remain polite again.
“They’re just my class mates, Michael, they’re not friends. Unlike some people I am mature enough to be civilized and polite to people even if I don’t like them much. It’s called being an adult, you should try it some time.”
Michael was quiet, his eyes dropping down to the menu before he gave you his order and sank back down into his seat. You almost felt sorry for him seeing him sit there all alone while most people were out with friends tonight.
Almost. Maybe if the guy wasn’t such a dick all the time he’d have friends to have dinner with and not look like such a loser.
When you returned with his food shortly after he just gave you a polite nod and a quiet “Thank you”, which you reciprocated with a quick nod of your own.
“You didn’t spit into my food, did you?” he then asked, making you turn back around.
“No,” you sighed,”I wouldn’t do that. Not even to you.”
He smiled weakly,“Not even when I deserve it?”
You couldn’t help your lips from curling up into a little smile at his unexpected admission of guilt,”No, not even then.”
“Thanks,” he nodded quickly.
“Enjoy your food.”
When you came to his table later to clean up you found a napkin properly folded with your name written on it. You opened it to find a generous tip inside and a message: “Food was excellent, customer service needs some work”
You shook your head and rolled your eyes,”Fucking asshole.” But then you read the next line:
“PS If you still want that tutor meet me in the library tomorrow night at 8”
#michael gavey x reader#michael gavey#michael gavey x you#michael gavey x female reader#ewan mitchell fanfic#saltburn fanfic#michael gavey smut
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the boy anon spooky prompt here and it would be very cool to see it reader x shigaraki if possible. I just really like the way you write it and i think it would be interesting.
Hi! Thank you so much for the prompt! I had to go check out the movie for this one, and I agree -- it was really interesting to write! I hope you enjoy this take on it. Happy Halloween! (dividers by @cafekitsune)
d-o-l-l-h-o-u-s-e
You need a job and a place to hide. The Shimuras need a nanny for their five-year-old son Tenko while they take a three-month trip abroad. It's a match made in heaven -- or it would be, if it wasn't for the fact that Tenko's been dead for seventeen years, and they want you to look after a doll that looks just like him. It wouldn't take much for you to be convinced that the doll's haunted by Shimura Tenko himself. And it is haunted. Just not the way you thought. (cross-posted to Ao3)
You’ve been on and off apprehensive since you stepped off the train at Kurouzu station, and more on-apprehensive than off since the directions you printed off pointed you straight out of town, but when you actually reach the address you’re aiming for, the nerves kick into high gear. This is the Shimura family’s estate, all right. The address is right, and so is the sign. And you know the Shimuras have money, or else they wouldn’t be able to afford paying a broke twentysomething to live in their house and watch their son – but still, you weren’t expecting their house to be this huge.
It feels iffy. Is it actually iffy? Or do you just want it to be iffy because you’re into self-sabotaging and you’re nervous about babysitting a five-year-old for three months? Whether it’s iffy or not, you still need money. And somewhere to stay. And you made a promise. You take a deep breathe, then ring the doorbell.
The door opens so fast that it gives you whiplash, and you find yourself staring up at a tall, dark-haired man with fine features and a mouth that’s primed to frown. “Mr. Shimura?”
“Yes. You’re late.”
“I’m – sorry?” You stumble on the words. “I thought I was – just a few minutes –”
“You’re fine, sweetheart.” A pretty, brown-haired woman appears over Mr. Shimura’s shoulder, a nervous, strained smile on her face. “Kotaro’s just a little anxious. It’s been years since we took a trip, and he’s still a little worried that something’s going to go wrong.”
“Yes,” Mr. Shimura agrees. There’s a pause. “Come inside. Tenko is quite anxious to meet you.”
Right. The kid. You put on a smile. “I’m excited to meet him too.”
The Shimuras’ house is pretty on the outside, fancy on the inside – but dark. All the curtains are drawn, and the lights aren’t bright enough to compete with shadows. It doesn’t look like the kind of house that a five-year-old lives in. You don’t know a lot of people with five-year-olds, but you’re pretty sure that five-year-olds are messier than this. There should be toys around. Or kids’ books. There should be brighter colors, better lights, maybe an open window or two. It can’t be good for Tenko to have things this dark.
What do you know? You’re not a parent. Then again, you’ll be the one responsible for Tenko for the next three months, so maybe you can make a few changes around here. You bought a book on developmental theory to read on the train, but instead you ended up watching TikTok videos until the 5G vanished. Maybe you’ll start reading it tonight after you put Tenko to bed.
“So, um –” you start, as Mrs. Shimura leads you up the stairs. “Can you tell me a little bit about what Tenko’s like? I mean, obviously I’ll ask him, but –”
“Oh, we can tell you!” Mrs. Shimura’s voice is bright. “He’s –”
“After you meet him,” Mr. Shimura interrupts from behind you. “Wait here.”
You pause, and Mr. Shimura slips past you to join Mrs. Shimura up ahead. They duck into a particular room, and you can hear them talking quietly. In the meantime, you take stock of your surroundings. The Shimura house is sparsely decorated, but on the wall opposite from you, there’s a family portrait hanging. It’s a good one. Mrs. Shimura, Mr. Shimura, and two children. The boy, the smaller one, must be Tenko. But there’s another one. A girl.
She doesn’t look that much older than Tenko. Is she old enough to go on a European tour with her parents, or is she staying with somebody else? If she’s staying with somebody else, how come Tenko isn’t staying there, too? Before you can really wind yourself up over something that’s none of your business, Mr. Shimura steps out into the hall, followed by Mrs. Shimura, who’s carrying Tenko. He must not be very heavy – she’s beckoning you forward with one hand.
“He’s a bit shy,” she says, apologetic. You have a split second to realize that something’s off about the kid’s position in her arms before she steps forward, fully into the light. “This is Tenko, our son. Say hello.”
You can’t say anything at all. All you can do is stare, because Tenko’s not a little boy like you thought he’d be. Tenko’s not a boy at all. Tenko’s a doll.
“A doll?” Manami asks. “Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure,” you hiss into the phone. It’s a big cordless phone, and you’ve got it pinned between your ear and shoulder as you pack and unpack your suitcase over and over again. “A big, creepy doll. Why would I lie about this?”
“I mean, I don’t think you would,” Manami says. She sounds bemused more than anything else. Maybe you need to say “creepy” again, with more emphasis. “How big is it?”
“Like, kid-sized. They put it on the bed at night.” You can’t think of the whole bizarre ritual Mr. and Mrs. Shimura demonstrated for you without feeling like you’ve lost your mind. “They have a daily routine for it – I’m supposed to wake it up in the morning, and take it out of its pajamas and put it in its clothes and make it breakfast –”
“Why do you have to make it breakfast? Dolls don’t eat.”
“I know dolls don’t eat. Everybody and their mother knows dolls don’t eat! Even little kids only fake-feed their dolls.” You want to scream. “But they want me to make it breakfast. And play music for it. And read aloud to it – and make it lunch and dinner and read it a bedtime story like it’s a real kid. I’m even supposed to give it a goodnight kiss.”
“But it’s not a real kid,” Manami says. You hit your head against the bedpost, producing a hollow thunk. “Why do they have you taking care of a doll like it’s a real kid? Do they even have real kids?”
“They do. Did.” You wouldn’t let the Shimuras leave without giving you an answer about that one, and because they really wanted you to stay and look after their creepy doll for three months, they didn’t screw around. “Two of them. Tenko – the one they named the doll after – and an older girl named Hana. They both died in an accident seventeen years ago.”
“Oh, that’s awful.” Manami sounds like she’s tearing up. You probably would have teared up, too, if the Shimuras hadn’t told you that after they’d handed you the creepy doll they named after their dead son. “They lost both their kids at once? I would go crazy too.”
“That’s the thing. They didn’t,” you say. “Not all the way. There’s only one doll.”
“That’s kind of weird,” Manami admits. “Why wouldn’t they make one for Hana too?”
“It gets weirder. Hana has a shrine. I’m supposed to take care of it.” That’s the least weird part of your job. If all you were doing was taking care of shrines to the Shimuras’ dead kids, you’d be perfectly happy. “They don’t have a shrine for Tenko. And the only picture they have of him is in this big family portrait on the wall.”
“Huh,” Manami says slowly. “Rich people are weird.”
“That’s all you’ve got to say?” you ask, exasperated. “Rich people are weird?”
“They are. Poor people wouldn’t make a life-sized doll of their dead kid and pay somebody to take care of it like it’s alive,” Manami says. You think she’s probably right. You’re poor, and if you had a kid who died, you – well, you don’t know what you’d do. You definitely wouldn’t do that. “Does it look like him?”
“Yeah. Creepily like him.” When you were racing upstairs to drop the doll on the bed and lock it in, you were unnerved enough to stop by the family portrait and check. “And creepily accurate, size-wise. Like, if you didn’t look too hard, you’d think he was real.”
“He is real,” Manami says, and you almost drop the phone. “I mean, the doll is real.”
“Right.” The doll is a little too real for your taste. “I think I meant alive.”
“That’s creepy,” Manami says, and you breathe a sigh of relief. You called her looking for validation, and you got it. You should have expected her to ask for details first. You would have. “What are you going to do?”
“I can’t stay here,” you say, but even as the words leave your mouth, you know they aren’t true. “I can’t leave, either. I need the money. And I need to be – away. For a little while at least. Until everybody forgets.”
“Until he forgets,” Manami says. Your ex-boyfriend, everybody. He’s so popular in town that they might as well be the same thing. “He came around last night looking for you. Danjuro told him off.”
You were already on edge over the doll thing, but that piece of news soaks you in an instant cold sweat. “Did he say anything?”
“Danjuro or Keigo? Danjuro would never,” Manami says, offended. You try to pace your breathing, praying you won’t hyperventilate. “Keigo said he was just worried about you, because he didn’t see you come to work yesterday – and when he asked everyone said you’d quit – so he thought he’d stop by –”
“Fuck.” If you could go back in time and give your past self one piece of advice, it would be to send the town’s youngest police chief in history packing when he asked if he could buy you a drink. That one bad decision spiraled into a nightmare you’re still struggling to escape. “I don’t understand. What is it going to take to make him stop?”
“You’re doing the smart thing. Going away, letting things die down,” Manami says. “I know this new place is creepy, but you picked it for a good reason. They’ll pay you cash, so Keigo can’t trace your cards. It’s a small town off the map, so it’ll be hard for him to find –”
“And I’m supposed to spend all day playing house with creepy Tenko, so no one will be able to tell him they saw me.” You’ll wear a disguise if you have to go out into town. Now that you know Keigo’s still looking for you, you need to be even more careful. “I just wish I wasn’t stuck here. And I wish it was a real kid.”
“Real kids pee their pants and cry,” Manami says practically, and you manage a wheeze of laughter. You knew talking to Manami would make you feel better, even if nothing has changed. “Trust me. You’re better off with the doll.”
You might be better off with the doll than a real kid, but for the first week or so of your stay in the Shimura house, you neglect doll Tenko in a way that real Tenko would never have let you get away with. Real Tenko probably wouldn’t have put up with being locked in his room all day, or being fed breakfast at two pm because you stayed up late and slept in later the night before. And real Tenko definitely wouldn’t have tolerated being schlepped around feet-up because you don’t like having his scary porcelain face so close to yours.
Then again, real Tenko probably didn’t like listening to classical music at max volume, either. Real Tenko’s also been dead for seventeen years. It’s probably safe to stop worrying about what real Tenko would think of how you deal with his freaky little homunculus counterpart.
Whenever you’re not conspicuously ignoring Tenko’s schedule, you’re getting to know the rest of the Shimura house – and outside it, the Shimura estate. It’s beautiful, so beautiful that you have a hard time imagining how anything in Europe could measure up, and when the weather allows it you spend a lot of time outdoors, poking around on the trails that cover the property and watching whatever animals wander by. The animals here aren’t very scared of people. The Shimuras probably don’t allow hunting on their property, and based on what the mailman does when he stops by every afternoon, nobody in town likes coming near the property for too long.
One person does, though. The Shimuras let you know that somebody comes by to deliver groceries – and bring your payment – once a week, and you’re coming back from a walk on a grey, foggy day when you see him. He’s balancing four grocery bags in one arm and trying to unlock the door with the other. You hurry forward. “Here, let me get that. I’m sorry.”
“I rang the bell.” The delivery guy’s face is completely concealed by the pile of grocery bags he’s toting. “No answer.”
“Yeah, I was out for a walk.”
“I thought you were supposed to stay inside. You know, since Tenko’s allergic to the air the rest of us breathe.” The delivery guy steps through the door after you unlock it, then drops the bags on the kitchen table and looks around. “Where is the kid, anyway? He’s usually attached to Mrs. Shimura at the hip.”
“He’s, uh, taking a nap.” You look the delivery guy up and down, noting blue eyes and spiky white hair, along with some burn scars and a ton of facial piercings. “I’m sorry, they didn’t tell me your name.”
“It’s Touya.” He holds out a hand to shake, and you copy him as you introduce yourself. “Yeah, Mrs. Shimura mentioned that someone new was coming, but I wasn’t sure you’d still be here. They’ve tried out a lot of nannies, but Tenko’s kind of picky. Or so I hear.”
“Are you making fun of me?” you ask. Touya’s eyebrows lift. “We are talking about the same Tenko here, right?”
“The d-o-l-l? That’s right,” Touya says. You give him the weirdest look you can manage on short notice. “Yeah. The Shimuras get pissy if we don’t talk about him like he’s real, so we all got in the habit. You will, too, if you’re here long enough.”
“We,” you repeat. “How many of you are there?”
“Me and my siblings. The Shimuras hire us to do stuff,” Touya says. “The weekly deliveries are usually my thing, but Fuyumi or Natsuo might fill in sometimes, since they can drive, too. Fuyumi helps with their garden in the summers and Natsuo does maintenance shit. I won’t bring the brat out here until it’s time to chop firewood. One of these days I’ll get lucky and he’ll lose a limb.”
You think Touya’s joking. You’re not sure. “Which one’s the brat?”
“Shoto. My baby brother. Daddy’s favorite.” Touya scoffs. “He gets all the pocket money he wants. He doesn’t even need to work, but does he let that stop him? No. He makes me drag him out here anyway –”
Touya breaks off, glances at you. “Do you have siblings?”
“Yeah.” You have siblings the same way the Shimuras have kids, but you don’t bring that up unless you’re forced to. “I’m the oldest. I’m guessing you are, too?”
“That’s right.” Touya runs a hand through his hair, spiking it up even higher than it was before. “Not that I care too much about your backstory, but you must have something really shitty going on to make this the better offer.”
“Yeah. You could say that.” You’re not too interested in Touya’s thoughts on your backstory, either. You collect the envelope with your pay and sort through it quickly, confirming that it’s all there, then look up at Touya. “Do I need to tip you or anything?”
“Twenty percent is customary.” Touya doesn’t let that crack stand for very long. “No. The Shimuras might be off the wall, but they pay well for everything – grunt work like what I do all the way up to caring for their precious little boy.”
There’s a thud from somewhere upstairs, and you jump out of your skin. Touya startles, too, but he recovers faster. “Sounds like the monkey just fell off the bed. You should probably go check on that.”
“Yeah. It was, uh – nice to meet you,” you say. Touya snorts. “See you next week.”
You don’t actually think Touya would steal your money, but you take the envelope with you when you race up the stairs to the second floor, and drop it on your bed before hurrying into Tenko’s room. You spend as little time in here as possible. It’s like a time capsule, frozen on the day the Shimuras decided to replace their dead son but not their dead daughter with a photorealistic porcelain doll, and it gives off some of the worst vibes you’ve ever felt.
You leave Tenko in here most of the time because looking at him creeps you out, and in spite of Touya’s joke about monkeys on the bed, he’s exactly where you left him. What’s fallen over is a mostly-empty bookshelf, and there’s something behind it – a little alcove in the wall, with a pile of old, dusty toys. Action figures, mainly, along with a single plushie. You go to investigate, and discover that while you’re not much of a comic-book fan, you recognize almost all the action figures. They’re from Adventures of All Might, a cartoon your brother used to watch. It’s been off the air for ten years at least. What are toys from a show that old doing in a five-year-old’s room?
The answer occurs to you, and to your displeasure, it makes you even more uncomfortable than the question. This isn’t a five-year-old’s room. Shimura Tenko died when he was five years old – seventeen years ago, when Adventures of All Might was on the air. If Tenko was alive, he’d be about as old as you are. The thought weirds you out so badly that you nudge the action figures to the side and pick up the plushie.
Getting a decent look at the plushie first involves violently shaking the plushie until the dust comes up in a big cloud. Underneath the dust, the plushie’s dog-shaped, or more accurately, corgi-shaped. There’s a piece of yarn around its neck, with a cardboard tag hanging from it. You hold it up for a look and somehow manage to decipher the handwriting of a long-dead five-year-old. “Mon,” you say out loud. “That’s a good name.”
It's a good name, but thinking about it makes you miserable. A big, creepy doll might be all that’s left of Shimura Tenko, but Shimura Tenko was a real person – a little kid who liked cartoons and handmade a collar for his plushie, who’d be your age if he’d had the chance to grow up. Your eyes are stinging from the dust. You spend a few more seconds brushing it away, then carry Mon over to the bed and set him down beside Tenko.
You’re surprised at how much less unsettling the sight becomes now that you’ve added a toy to it. It’s improved enough that you feel okay spending a little longer in Tenko’s room, righting the bookshelf that fell and arranging the action figures on top of it, before you go downstairs to put away the groceries.
The Shimura house is old. Old houses make noises – weird noises, a lot of the time, and that’s just something you have to live with. You’re good at living with it most nights, but tonight, as the first really big storm of autumn rages around the house, the noises you hear sound less like old-house creaks and groans and more like footsteps. And voices. And laughter. No matter how hard you try to distract yourself, you can’t.
You tried to call Manami, but the phone lines are down, and while you haven’t tried the lights, you’re pretty sure they’re out. All you can do is huddle up in bed, the door to your room barricaded, mumbling to yourself like an actual lunatic. “This is fucked up, this is fucked up, this is so fucked up –”
You’re fucked up. You think something’s haunting this place? The ghosts of a five-year-old and his seven-year-old sister, who didn’t even die in here? Some haunting. It’s your overactive imagination putting you through hell, and you’ve got proof – your shitty ex-boyfriend Takami Keigo is very much alive, and your mind’s been telling you that one of the laughing voices belongs to him. If you were faced with a choice between a living Keigo and a ghost Keigo, you’d pick the ghost in a heartbeat. Ghosts can’t stalk you when you try to take a break from the relationship and enlist the entire town, police force included, to their cause. And you could probably exorcise him, which would be a lot easier than whatever you’d have to do to get rid of real Keigo for good.
The sounds get weirder, and they’re coming from all over the place – the ceiling above you, the hallway, the rooms on either side of yours, even inside the walls. Maybe you’ve got rats or something. You’ll ask Natsuo about that when he comes over tomorrow to clear leaves out of the gutters and branches off the roof. It’s fine if there’s rats tonight, right? You can take a rat in a fight. Probably even ten rats. You’re not going to get eaten alive by rats. Ghost Keigo could be dealt with. Rats can also be dealt with. It’s just your imagination. You need to get it together.
It's just past three in the morning, and you think the getting-it-together is going okay, when a particularly big gust of wind rattles the house. There’s a colossal bang from somewhere, but only one. The windows are shaking in their frames, producing an odd, warped sound, and somewhere beneath it, there’s another sound, a sound that’s got no place in this house. Someone’s crying. It doesn’t take much or any stretching of the imagination to convince yourself that it’s a kid.
You decide instantly that you’re not going to waste time trying to talk yourself out of it. You’ll go check on Tenko, confirm that Tenko is in fact still a doll and not a real boy, and then you’ll go to bed and sleep in as late as you damn well please.
The wood floors in the hallway are cold beneath your feet, but it’s only a short walk to Tenko’s room – and then you have to double back, because you don’t have a flashlight and the lights are out. You’re already spooked and already frustrated by the time you open the door to Tenko’s room, and when you open the door, you’re ready to be mad. You click on the flashlight, raise it, and pan it over the room. And then you freeze.
Tenko’s room is trashed. Multiple shelves have been overturned, toys and books spilling everywhere, and the curtains over the boarded-up window hang in tatters. The shade’s off the lamp on the nightstand, and the dresser drawers yawn open – or else they’ve been pulled free and scattered across the room. The sheets are askew on the bed, the bed itself shifted at a weird angle. Tenko is nowhere to be found.
“Tenko?” you say hesitantly. You pan the flashlight again, and for a split second, you see a shadow crouched atop Tenko’s bed, far too big to be the doll. You don’t need to see any more than that. You drop the flashlight and scream.
The storm drowns out your scream, and you run out of air eventually – and then you’re tired of it. Screaming’s not doing anything to help, and if the shadow was going to kill you, it would have done it by now. You crouch down and feel along the floor until you come up with the flashlight, which still works. You check the bed first, but there’s no shadow there. There never was. The only things in this house are you and Tenko, and neither of you was up on the bed like a gremlin five seconds ago. You keep looking for Tenko. He has to be in here somewhere.
And he is. You find him behind the door, Mon-chan in his arms, his knees drawn up to his chest. “Hi, Tenko,” you say, like a crazy person. “Did you get scared?”
He doesn’t answer, of course. Because he’s a doll. He’s a doll, and you’re crazy. Knowing that doesn’t stop you from looking around at the wreckage of the room, thinking about how scary it would be to have to go back to bed in here if you were a kid. Thinking about how you used to be scared of lightning and thunder – maybe still are. “If you’re still scared,” you start, “do you want to stay in my room for tonight?”
Five minutes later, you’re setting a line of pillows down the middle of your bed, leaving one half for you and one half for Tenko. And Mon-chan, because you felt less weird about inviting a doll to sleep in your bed if the doll has its plushie, too. Once you’ve got Tenko squared away, you block the door again. “It’ll be daylight soon,” you tell yourself. Then, to Tenko: “We’ll fix your room up and everything will be fine.”
Tenko’s eyes are open. His eyes are grey, like they are in the family portrait, with long lashes. You reach out and close their lids carefully. The chances that you’ll be able to get to sleep are slim, but they’re zero as long as you’ve got a doll staring at you.
“It’s weird, right?” you say anxiously as Natsuo scans the mess in Tenko’s room. Most of the Todoroki kids don’t come inside the house, but you managed to lure Natsuo inside by mentioning the really loud bang you heard last night. “The wind couldn’t have done this.”
“Not with all the windows boarded up, yeah.” Natsuo looks wary. “You sure you don’t sleepwalk or anything?”
“Never,” you say. “I just – it was like this when I came in.”
“This is creeping me out,” Natsuo says, but he doesn’t look away. He’s looking around the room. “Where’s Tenko?”
“I moved him. In there.” You nod toward your room. “Things got wild in here last night. I kept thinking I was hearing voices, or laughter – or kids crying –”
You sound like a lunatic, again. Why does everything that happens to you make you look and feel crazy? “Have any of the other nannies mentioned things like that?”
“No,” Natsuo says, backing away from Tenko’s room. He glances into your room again. “Hey, Tenko. What – wait, you found Mon-chan? I remember that thing.”
“Huh?”
“That used to be his favorite,” Natsuo says. “When he was alive.”
You didn’t get much sleep last night. You’re a little slow. “Wait, you knew him?”
“We all did. Hana, too.” Natsuo starts down the hall, aiming for the stairs to the third floor. “They’re the richest family in town, and our shitty bastard of a father only wanted us to associate with the best. We all played together.”
You wish somebody had told you that earlier. “What was he like?”
“I don’t really remember,” Natsuo says with a shrug. “I was four. Touya would know better. You should ask him.”
He disappears up the stairs, and you chase after him. You don’t spend a lot of time on the top floor – it’s the master bedroom, and Mr. Shimura’s study, and a lot of stuff you feel like you shouldn’t get involved with. Natsuo doesn’t seem to have the same problem. “The attic’s open,” he calls. You climb the last few steps. “I bet the thud you heard was the trapdoor coming down.”
“Yeah, I think you’re right.” The trapdoor and ladder look heavy enough to produce the sound. “Can you fix it?”
“I’d have to climb up in there.” Natsuo looks really wary now. Out of the three older Todoroki siblings, he’s the one who’s least comfortable with coming into the house. “How about you climb up and look at the hinges? I’ll tell you what to look for, and I’ll come up if there’s anything wrong.”
You don’t want to go up in the attic, either, but you also want to make sure this doesn’t happen again. You nudge past Natsuo and climb the ladder into the musty dimness of the attic. Dimness, not darkness – there’s a skylight, the first window on the upper floors of the house that’s not boarded up completely. The attic itself is cluttered and dusty, but there aren’t any cobwebs that you can see. Small favors.
You crouch down by the trapdoor. “Okay. What am I looking for?”
Natsuo tells you, but even without his instructions, you probably could have figured it out. One hinge has been completely sheared away, dangling by one barely-there screw. Natsuo climbs up to study it with you, frowning. “This doesn’t look like metal fatigue. And the wood’s still in good condition. I don’t understand why it would just break.”
“I don’t know,” you say. “Can you fix it or not?”
“Yeah,” Natsuo says. “You have to stick around, though. I’m not staying up here alone.”
“Fair enough.”
While Natsuo works, you investigate the rest of the attic, trying not to sneeze and create a dust storm. At least half the attic is taken up by objects labeled as belonging to “Mom”, but they’ve been there way too long to be referring to Mrs. Shimura. You blow some dust off of a big picture frame to see what’s inside and find yourself looking at a poster that could be from a circus. The background is black and yellow and grey, the lettering ornate but still legible. Psychopomp, Medium, Illusionist: See the Spectacular Shimura Nana!
The next picture frame in line has a picture of Shimura Nana herself, and it’s immediately clear to you where Mr. Shimura got his looks from. Shimura Nana is gorgeous, dark-haired and grey-eyed with a bright, almost cocky smile on her face, and there’s a birthmark just below the corner of her mouth that looks familiar. When you think about people who can talk to the dead, you don’t think of them as looking this happy.
You carry both picture frames back to Natsuo. “Did you know their grandma was a magician?”
“No.” Natsuo glances at the frames, then flinches, almost dropping his screwdriver. “Shit. If I were you, I’d get out of here.”
You raise your eyebrows, and Natsuo gives you an exasperated look. “Somebody who could talk to the dead used to live here. The people who own this place have a doll that they treat like their dead son. And last night something trashed their dead son’s room. Haven’t you ever seen a horror movie? This place is haunted.”
“Don’t say that. I have to live here.”
“It’s gonna be haunted whether I say it or not.” Natsuo gives you a weird look. “Is it just the money thing? There are other ways to get money.”
“It’s not just money. I have to stay out of the way,” you say. “There’s this guy – my ex – he’s a cop –”
Natsuo’s mouth turns down at the corners. “I get it,” he says. “Our piece-of-shit old man is a cop. Our mom couldn’t get away, either.”
Your stomach drops. You know cops talk to each other. “Please don’t tell your dad that I’m –”
“Are you kidding? I barely talk to him. No way am I telling him that.” Natsuo says. He glances at you. “I get why you feel like you have to stay here. This place is still haunted.”
“Yeah,” you admit. You don’t know what’s haunting it – Tenko’s ghost, his sister’s ghost, his grandma’s ghost, or all three plus however many ghosts Shimura Nana summoned to hang out with her – but you have the same thought you had last night, and this time, you say it out loud. “I’ll take my chances with the ghosts.”
You get Tenko’s room reordered, and when the next storm comes, it doesn’t get trashed again. Then again, you go and grab the doll from the room the second you hear the first clap of thunder – not because you really think there’s a scared five-year-old ghost haunting it, but just to be safe. That same night, you retrieve Tenko’s schedule from where you abandoned it a month ago and read over it. Again, just to be safe.
It’s not that bad of a schedule, really. It’s not that weird. Most of it just involves moving Tenko from place to place around the house. You’d probably want a change of scenery, too, if you were a ghost haunting a doll. You don’t mind playing him music, but you play stuff you like, at a volume that’s a little less than earsplitting. You don’t mind reading aloud, so long as you’re reading your own books, and editing out the parts that aren’t kid-appropriate on the fly. And because he’s just there, and he’s not going to give you any feedback, it’s okay to think out loud.
At first it’s just whatever thought pops into your head, but as the days slip past in the second month of your stay at the Shimura house, you find that you’re getting into some stuff you haven’t talked about with anyone. And then, one day when you’re in the kitchen making your own dinner and setting out a plate for Tenko that you’ll inevitably throw away, you find yourself talking about something you swore you never would.
“I used to be a big sister,” you tell him. “Not like you and Hana. A bigger sister. My brother was five years younger than me, and he was my parents’ favorite, right from the start. That always used to confuse me. They liked him better even before he did anything.”
Confused is downplaying it. You were hurt. You still are, when you scratch the surface even a centimeter down. “I wanted to be a good sister, but it seemed like everything I did was wrong. I played too rough, or else I wasn’t playing with him at all. I didn’t share my toys, or I gave him toys he wasn’t supposed to have – and when I took them back, he’d always yell. And then my dad would yell. And I’d cry. But my brother was crying, too. And my mom always went to him.”
You glance back over your shoulder at Tenko. He’s sitting and waiting, like always, expression still and remote. You can’t look at him and say this next part. “When it happened, I was nine,” you say. “He was four. I was playing marbles, and he kept trying to grab them from me. He could talk by then – a lot – so I made a deal with him. He could pick any marble he wanted to play with, and let me have the rest of them. So he picked one – this big shooter, my favorite. Right out of my hand.”
The echo of your nine-year-old self’s anger still echoes through you, made all the more sickening by what happened next. “I tried to get it back, and he stuffed it in his mouth so I couldn’t. And then he started choking.”
You couldn’t get it out. You tried, screaming for help the whole time, but nothing you did made any difference. Nothing your mom did made any difference, either, and your baby brother was blue by the time the ambulance got there. Your parents didn’t blame you. You thought they were going to. You expected them to. But in their version of the story, you were barely there. You were their only kid again, and they couldn’t afford to hate you. Your brother grabbed the marble and swallowed it, and choked, and died. You just happened to be there. It wasn’t your fault.
But it was. You were the one who offered any marble he wanted. You should have known he’d pick the one you were holding – one that was too big to fit down his throat, one he’d try to keep away from you at any cost once he had it. You’re the one who couldn’t save him, and thinking about it doesn’t even make you cry. You’d say it makes you feel sick, but sick is too small of a word for the hollowness inside you. The place where you used to be a sister. The place where you used to be good.
“Today’s his birthday,” you tell Tenko, dry-eyed. “You’d be twenty-two like me if you were here for real, and he’d be seventeen, and I never told anybody that I gave the marble to him until just now. I don’t even know why I told you. I guess I thought you should know that it’s a good thing you’re not a real kid. Because I really don’t have great luck with those.”
You set Tenko’s plate down in front of him, knowing the food won’t be touched, then turn away to fill yours. When you turn back, the entire plate is gone.
You’ve gotten comfortable with the fact that the Shimura house is haunted. As comfortable as it’s possible to be when you don’t know exactly what’s haunting it. You put up with weird sounds at night, and with things being moved around, and you put up with some of your stuff going missing – but a whole plate of food vanishing because you turned around for two seconds? Nope. Not a chance. “Put it back.”
“He knows.”
You almost drop your plate, then tighten your grip. You’re losing it, officially, but you’ll be damned before you drop a bunch of food all over the floor. If you’re going to the mental hospital, you’re going well-fed. “I didn’t hear anything,” you say aloud. “I’ve just been talking to myself. That’s it.”
You stuff one bite, two bite, three bites of food into your mouth, and something speaks again. “Your brother. He knows.”
It’s not a little kid’s voice. Not the voice you’d imagine for Tenko as a ghost – but it doesn’t not sound like Tenko. It keeps talking. “He knows you tried to save him. And it matters that you tried.”
“How do you know?” Your voice rattles around the question, and there’s no answer. The strange voice doesn’t speak again, and the plate doesn’t reappear. “Please –”
“He knows,” the voice says. “He’d forgive you. If there was anything to forgive.”
The hollow place inside you has been there so long that you’ve forgotten what it’s like to have anything there. When something floods backs in, it hits with such violence that it drives all the air from your lungs. You shove your plate to one side and double over, gasping for breath. Your eyes burn and your throat closes, and before you know it, you’re crying.
You don’t really cry. Keigo always said something was wrong with you, that you didn’t show your feelings and he wasn’t sure you even had them. Crying feels awful. The headache it generates is all-encompassing, and you put your head down on the kitchen table and shut your eyes, waiting for it to stop. It seems like it’ll never end, and somewhere amidst the pain and embarrassment and relief, you find a shred of hate in your heart for Keigo. You never cried in front of him? He never made you feel anything worth crying about.
When the crying stops, the headache remains, and you sit up, rubbing at the crick in your neck. You must have fallen asleep; it’s dark outside, and the kitchen’s gloomy along with it. Not gloomy enough, though. Not so gloomy that you can’t see Tenko’s plate sitting back in front of him, wiped perfectly clean. The glass of water you poured for him is empty, too. And something clicks into place in the back of your head, only slightly warped by the headache.
Hana has a shrine. Hana’s shrine has offerings on it. Maybe the food you leave for Tenko is an offering, too. “Did you like this?” you ask. Your voice sounds awful. “I can make it again sometime.”
You have to start paying more attention to what Tenko eats, if he eats any of it. It’s the least you can do, after what he told you today. Even if it isn’t true, even if the ghost haunting the Shimura house decided to tell you a lie, this is the first time you’ve ever been able to think about your brother without feeling like you’re the one being choked to death. That’s worth a meal or two, in your opinion. You might actually need to learn how to cook.
You clear Tenko’s plate away, and on an impulse, lean down to kiss his forehead. “Thank you,” you say. It feels weird to be kissing a doll, especially when you’ve been skipping the goodnight kiss so religiously, but this is a special occasion. “I feel better now.”
“Wow, have you lost it,” Touya says, laughing. He drops the groceries on the far end of the kitchen table, well away from where you and Tenko are eating lunch. “You know he can’t eat, right? He’s a doll.”
“I know. But he’s dead, so it’s like – an offering,” you say. “Since he doesn’t have a real shrine.”
“Yeah,” Touya remarks. He opens the fridge and starts shoving things in haphazardly. “Real nice piece of work on his dad’s part.”
That reminds you of something Natsuo said a while back, something you’ve been meaning to ask Touya about. “Your brother said you all knew the Shimuras. That you played together. Is that true?”
“Yeah. My assclown father and their assclown father both fell out of the same assclown tree.” Touya shuts the refrigerator, then opens the freezer. “We’d play together sometimes. Go to the birthday parties and shit. Hana went to the same school as me and Fuyumi. That’s about it.”
He glances sideways at you. “Natsuo said you were going to ask. What do you want to know?”
“What were they like?”
“Hana – she was cool. Nothing threw her off, and nothing kept her down. Everybody liked her. Even my shitheap father, which is really saying something.” Touya shuts the freezer, too, and turns to face you. “Tenko, though – he was kind of a crybaby. Everything made that kid cry. Didn’t matter if it was good or bad. If he had a feeling for longer than two seconds, there went the waterworks.”
You didn’t have a real idea of Tenko’s personality in your head. You had what Mrs. Shimura told you – shy, sweet, playful – but you threw out most of what she said on principle because she was saying it about a doll. “He was a lot,” Touya continues, “but he didn’t have a mean bone in his body. It makes it kind of hard to believe the official story about what happened.”
“The official story,” you repeat. “The Shimuras just said it was an accident.”
“Yeah, they would.” Touya leans back against the kitchen table. “Both their kids drown in the well on the same day? Better be an accident.”
Your stomach lurches. “They drowned?”
“Both of them.” Touya pats his pocket, then comes up with a pack of cigarettes, followed by a lighter. “There are three schools of thought about what happened, and they all start with the well cover. I can take you out to look and prove it, but trust me when I say that thing’s a bitch – 20kg at least. The first school of thought says that Tenko got the well cover open and fell in, and when Hana heard him calling for help, she ran to help and fell in, too. And they both drown in there.”
You don’t understand why they need more than one school of thought. The first one is awful enough. “The second school of thought says somebody else opened the well cover and both kids fell in – and in that case, the question is who? The third one says that Tenko opened it himself and pulled Hana in after him. Guess which one the Shimuras went with.”
“They think he opened a 20kg well cover so he could drown himself in it and decided to take Hana with him, too?” You can barely believe it. You can’t imagine ascribing that kind of malice to a little kid. “I mean – I never met them, obviously, but – I don’t think he would –”
“I did meet him, and I don’t think so either. None of us do,” Touya says. He glances around the kitchen, his eyes lingering on Tenko for a second before drifting back to you. “Something really fucked up happened here. Fucked up things happen in the house I grew up in all the time, but not like this.”
He’s frowning. “My dad plays favorites, but he’s indifferent to the rest of us. Hana’s dad hated Tenko. You could tell.”
“How?”
“Because Hana wasn’t scared of him. Tenko was.” Touya lights his cigarette and takes a drag. “I wouldn’t spend too long thinking about it, if I were you.”
“I don’t know how I’m going to not think about it,” you say. You wish you’d asked what happened to Tenko and Hana sooner. “Is that why they’ve only got the one shrine?”
“Couldn’t tell you.” Touya shrugs, then heads over to the pantry to start unpacking the dry goods one-handed. “I can tell you this, though. When they went down into that well to get the kids out, they only found one body. And it wasn’t his.”
As if this couldn’t get more horrible. Picturing the children’s bodies floating together in the cramped quarters of the well is bad enough, but picturing just Hana, knowing that Tenko’s lost somewhere in the depths, never to be found – your skin crawls. You start unpacking the dry goods alongside Touya, trying to get through it quickly so he’ll leave. You need to be alone to think about this. You can’t talk to Tenko about it while someone else is here.
“One more thing,” Touya says under his breath. “Natsuo told me and Fuyumi about the thing. Dad cornered Fuyumi on it and she caved. So –”
So now a cop here knows that you’re hiding out from another cop. Your hands shake so badly that you drop the bag of rice you’re trying to put away. “Keep it together,” Touya warns. “We fucked up but we’re fixing it. The brat’s going to keep his ear to the ground, and we’ll keep an eye out. You should get as much advance warning as you need.”
“Okay,” you say. “Thanks.”
“Don’t thank us,” Touya says. “Just think about what you’re going to do when the Shimuras get back.”
Right. You can’t stay here forever. It’s not like the Shimuras are going to let you keep taking care of Tenko when they’re here to do it themselves. Your expenses here are zero. By the time they come back home, you’ll have saved a lot of money, enough to do – something. Like get out of the country and never look back. Or hire someone to put a hit on Keigo so you never have to look over your shoulder again. Either way, you’ll be getting out of here. And you won’t see Tenko – or hang out with his ghost – ever again.
The thought shouldn’t make you sad, but it does. But nothing could possibly make you sadder than the thought of the Shimura kids trapped in the well. No matter how they got there.
Some part of you knew it couldn’t last – the part of you that’s familiar with the kind of guy you almost married, the one who always gets what he wants and can’t take no for an answer. Some part of you always knew Keigo would find you. But you weren’t prepared for what it would feel like to actually see him standing inside the kitchen of the Shimura household, surrounded by grocery bags and wearing a self-satisfied grin. You’d stammered out a question about what he was doing here, and Keigo smiled at you. “The police chief here’s a good guy. He let me know that his kids handle some of the work around here, and I offered to bring the groceries by so we’d have a chance to talk alone.”
He’d nodded meaningfully at Tenko, who you were holding. “We are alone, right? That’s just a creepy doll.”
You said yes, if only because you didn’t want Tenko anywhere near whatever you and Keigo were going to talk about. And now you’re in your room, under Keigo’s watchful eyes, packing up to leave.
The door to Tenko’s room is closed, but you’d be crazy to assume that his ghost couldn’t hear you no matter where you are in the house. “I can’t just leave,” you say for the millionth time. “This is my job. I made a commitment.”
“To take care of a human child. Not a doll.” Keigo is smiling, but his eyes are hard and glinting. “Getting out of here with me is the sanest thing anybody in your position can do. He’ll be fine.”
“No,” you say. Keigo raises his eyebrows. “They’ll be back in a month. Let me finish doing my job, and then I’ll come back.”
Keigo shakes his head. “I’m worried about your mental health. When I talked to the police chief here, and he told me his kids were helping you take care of a porcelain doll in a big house with boarded-up windows, I got even more worried. And I don’t want to be the one to break this to you, but the Shimuras were never planning to come back.”
“What do you mean?” you ask. Keigo reaches into his back pocket and produces a letter – one that’s clearly been addressed to Shimura Tenko, and one that’s already been opened. “Hey. You can’t just open people’s mail.”
“If it’s linked to illegal activity, I can do whatever I want.” Keigo slides the letter out of the envelope and clears his throat. “Dear Tenko, We are heartbroken to tell you that we will not be returning home. We can no longer live with what you have become. The girl is yours – the girl. That’s you, right?”
You can’t think of who else it would be. Keigo keeps reading, projecting his voice. “The girl is yours. She is yours to love and care for. May we all be forgiven. Yours, Mother and Father.” He lowers the letter, raises his eyebrows. “They’re sacrificing you to the memory of their dead son. You know, the one who was so sick and crazy he drowned himself just so he could drown his own sister?”
“That’s not what happened,” you say. Keigo laughs at you. “Shut up! You weren’t here –”
“Neither were you,” Keigo says. “I’ve read the police reports. The statements from the parents –”
“The ones Touya’s dad took?” You remember Touya and Natsuo comparing their dad to Tenko’s dad, and not in Mr. Shimura’s favor. “Sure. I guess they have to cover up for each other, or none of them would get away with it.”
“Okay. That’s it.” Keigo lifts the last pile of clothes out of your arms, drops them unceremoniously into your suitcase, and zips it shut. “The sooner you get out of this house, the better. We need to be far away from here by the time it comes out.”
“By the time what comes out?”
“This isn’t just the Shimuras’ goodbye letter, it’s their suicide note. Their bodies were recovered yesterday.” Keigo looks almost gleeful in the always-dim light of the Shimura house. Or maybe you really are just losing your mind. “Lawyers are going to be all over this place any day now. Let’s go.”
He pulls the suitcase off the bed with one hand, then grabs your arm with the other. “Come on. Don’t make this so difficult –”
“Give me the letter,” you say hopelessly. “I want to read it to Tenko.”
“You want to read a letter to a doll.” Keigo looks skeptical. “What’s that going to do?”
You invent something on the fly. “Closure.”
“Closure?” Keigo repeats. “Huh. I guess if it keeps you from fixating on this the way you fixate on everything else, sure. Go read the doll his parents’ suicide letter.”
Despair keeps your footsteps heavy as you make your way across the hall into Tenko’s room. You settled him on the bed with Mon-chan, like always, and you sit down on the end of the bed, the same as you do when you read him a bedtime story. “Tenko,” you start. “Um, I have to go. And I have something to tell you. I feel like you should hear it from me and not somebody else.”
You lay out the situation carefully, fighting back tears. “I’m sorry to leave like this. I don’t want to, but Keigo’s here, and he says –”
“Don’t want to?”
You haven’t heard the ghost’s voice since it talked to you about your brother. “I don’t want to,” you say. “Keigo says I have to.”
“Don’t make me sound like a dictator. I want what’s best for you,” Keigo says from the doorway. “That’s enough. Let’s go.”
“No.”
That was audible. Keigo should be able to hear it. “Keigo, did you hear –”
“You talking to yourself? Yeah.” Keigo grabs your arm, yanks you sharply away from the bed. “You went crazier than I thought in here, huh?”
“No.”
This time Keigo hears it. You can see it in his face. A split second later, the lights go out.
Keigo’s grip on your arm tightens. There’s a crash from somewhere else in the house, and his grip tightens further. He drags you out of Tenko’s room through the darkened house. “Did you plan this or something?” he asks you as you stumble down the stairs after him. “It’s a good show. If you put this much effort into making our relationship work –”
“NO.” The lights in the front hall switch on, revealing something standing dead center in the hallway, between you and the way out.
Keigo curses and rocks back a step, but you know instantly what you’re looking at, who you’re looking at. “No,” Shimura Tenko says. “No means no.”
Tenko doesn’t look very much like the doll anymore. His grey eyes are red, and his black hair is white, but you recognize his features. They’re the same ones from the doll, from the family portrait, from your memories his parents and the poster you saw of his grandmother. He’s thin, almost skeletal, his hands and limbs spiderlike. He looks filthy, and his clothes are ragged. If you’d had a nightmare of what might haunt this house the first night you moved in, it would have looked exactly like this.
You’re looking at Shimura Tenko. Shimura Tenko’s supposed to have been dead for seventeen years. You don’t know how or why he’s here, but you know one thing, one thing that’s been true since you realized the Shimura house was haunted: You’d rather take your chances with a ghost. “I don’t want to leave,” you say to Tenko, ignoring Keigo when he orders you to be quiet. “I promised I would stay.”
Tenko’s crimson gaze shifts from you to Keigo. “She stays,” he says in that strange, not-quite-human voice. “You leave.”
Keigo laughs. “Sorry, I don’t think you get it. We’re leaving. You’re staying right where you are.”
He starts down the hall again, your efforts to fight free barely making a skip in his stride. The front door opens a crack behind Tenko, and you can see a white-haired someone peering through. One of the Todorokis, maybe Touya or Natsuo who promised they’d warn you if they saw Keigo coming. Touya points at you, beckons. “I’m going to tell you this one more time,” Keigo is saying to Tenko. “Get out of the –”
Tenko lunges at him. Keigo lets go of you. And you run straight out the front door, down the front steps. Past the Todoroki siblings. As far and as fast as your legs will carry you, until you trip on something, hit your head on something else, and black out on the ground.
Smoke stings your nasal passages, and you wake up coughing. Someone is breathing raggedly next to you, and someone else is shaking your shoulder. “Come on,” Natsuo is saying under his breath. “Come on, come on –”
“No, be careful, she hit her head –” Fuyumi is patting your hand. “If you can hear us, we need you to wake up. It’s Tenko.”
Tenko, the doll? No, Tenko the – whatever he is. The thing that’s alive. The thing that’s real enough to challenge Keigo to a fight. You sit up with the worst headache you’ve had in maybe your entire life and look around. The grounds of the Shimura estate are eerily backlit, and when you glance over your shoulder, you see that the Shimuras’ house is in flames. “What – happened?”
“Tenko killed the cop,” Natsuo says. You look blankly at him. “Touya said we should burn down the house to hide it, and we thought Tenko understood. But then he went back inside.”
“He won’t come out,” Fuyumi says. “Touya’s been yelling for him, but he’s not responding. If we don’t get him out soon he’ll die. If he won’t listen to Touya, then –”
“Maybe he’ll listen to you,” Natsuo says. His expression twists. “He used to be normal. What happened to him?”
You don’t have a clue. Tenko’s alive. Somehow, some part of him – something that looks like him, or is him, or answers to his name. Tenko’s alive, and Keigo is dead, and that’s so difficult to process that your mind skips straight past it. Or tries to. Tenko is alive, and Keigo is dead because Tenko killed him, and for some reason Touya thought it was a good idea to try to burn down the Shimura house. You squeeze your eyes shut and try your hardest to compartmentalize. You can’t stop the house from burning. You can’t bring Keigo back to life. But there is someone alive in there. You can do something about that.
You get to your feet unsteadily and turn back towards the house. The top floor is in flames, light flickering behind the boarded-up windows, and although there’s smoke flooding the grounds, the lower floors of the house look clear of fire. It’s safe for you to go in. Safe enough. You duck past Touya, who’s been hollering up at the windows for Tenko to get “his creepy man-spider ass” out here, and in through the front door. And from there you have no idea what to do.
If you knew anything about who Tenko really is, you’d know where to look. The habits of doll Tenko tell you absolutely nothing. When he’s moved, or been moved, there’s no rhyme or reason to where he’s ended up – except for one time, the first time the doll ever moved from the place you left it. You climb the stairs, turn down the hall, dart past your room. The door to Tenko’s is open, the room itself trashed all over again. The only thing still in place is Mon-chan, sitting on the bed.
You grab it, in case it helps. Then you turn back to the place you found Tenko last time, and sure enough, he’s there. Right behind the door. But while doll Tenko could conceal himself perfectly in the space, the real Tenko is too tall and gangly. Even hunched in on himself with his knees drawn to his chest, there’s an elbow sticking out of the shadows in one spot, a foot sticking out in the another. His red eyes stare out blankly through the tangle of matted white hair. He’s not moving except to cough.
You’re coughing, too. It’s hard to speak. “Tenko, come on,” you say. “It’s not safe anymore. It’s time to go.”
“Dead.” His voice sounds even less human now. “They left me.”
His parents. “That doesn’t mean you have to stay here,” you say. “You don’t have to die because they did. You can come with me.”
There’s blood on Tenko’s hands, on his clothes. It’s smeared on the lower half of his face, draining from his nose and from a cut on his forehead. You pull your sleeve down over your hand, reach forward, and wipe it away, clamping down on the shiver that runs through you when he turns his head against your hand. “Come with me,” you say again, and he shakes his head. “Okay. Then move over.”
Tenko looks up, startled. “I said I didn’t want to leave you,” you say. “I meant it.”
You were wondering, all this time, if you’d know you’d finally lost your mind when it happened. The answer is yes, and the magical thing about losing your mind is that you don’t care all that much. The ex-boyfriend you were running from is dead. The house you were staying in is burning to the ground. You’ve spent the last three months taking care of a doll in a house you thought was haunted by a ghost, only to realize that everything you’ve been doing for the doll, you’ve been doing for the man it was modeled after, too. The world is upside down, twisted, backwards. Nothing and everything make sense right now.
“Either we both go,” you say, coughing harder now, “or we both stay. It’s up to you.”
You pull your hand back from wiping at his face and hold it out for him to take. He looks at it, then at you, and you wonder what he’s thinking. You wonder if he’s even scared of dying, if dying matters to something like him, whatever he is. If he really is Tenko, he’s died once before already, hasn’t he? Is it any harder to die again? Whether it is or not, Tenko doesn’t seem interested in finding out. He takes your hand, lets you pull him to his feet, and then yanks you out into the hall himself.
The air is thick and grey, and the flames are catching up, but Tenko’s fast as he drags you down the hall to the stairs. You stumble over a body at the base of them and make the mistake of looking at the face. Or what’s left of the face. Tenko doesn’t let you look for long. He pulls you past Keigo’s body to the front door and shoves you out of it – and then, before he can retreat, Natsuo and Touya seize him by his arms and yank him out after you.
The four of you tumble down the steps, landing in a heap in the driveway. Tenko is coughing, a wet, horrible sound, and while you’re able to get to your feet, he barely moves. You and the Todorokis have to drag him away from the house, down the driveway until all you can see of the house is the pillar of flames billowing up from the roof. You stop to catch your breath, and the others stop, too. You and Fuyumi, Touya and Natsuo, and Tenko sprawled on the ground between you.
It’s quiet for a second. “Wow,” Touya says to Tenko. “You’re even weirder-looking than I remember. And you reek.”
Fuyumi smacks him. Natsuo’s got bigger things to worry about. “What are we going to do with him?” he demands. “If that’s even him. If it’s some kind of monster that’s bad enough. If it’s him, he’s been dead for seventeen years – and he just killed a guy!”
“That guy was a fuckweasel,” Touya says. He glances at you. “Right?”
You don’t want to say yes. “He wasn’t a very nice guy,” you say, and Touya snorts. “I was scared of him.”
“And you’re not scared of that?” Natsuo demands.
“He’s not a that,” you say. “He’s –”
You don’t really know what. Tenko bleeds red like a human. Based on the way Tenko was yanking you around, he’s really strong. He’s so thin that he’s almost a skeleton, and he smells like he hasn’t showered in seventeen years. But whatever he is, he’s alive. That’s where you’ll start from. “He’s Tenko,” you say finally, for lack of a better way to phrase it. “I don’t know what his deal is, but I’m not scared of him right now. If I do get scared, I’ll deal with it then. I’m not leaving him here.”
“No one thinks we should do that,” Fuyumi reassures you. “We just need to think of where to put him. I know a place.”
It’s quiet for a second. “No,” Touya says suddenly. “He’s not staying at my place.”
“Just for tonight,” Fuyumi urges. “We can sneak him in now – Dad won’t be back for hours, he’ll be coming to investigate this – and clean him up before we figure out what to do with him.”
“She can stay there, too,” Natsuo says, nodding at you. “If Dad comes by, she can answer the door, and Dad will be so thrilled at the idea that you’re having straight sex that he won’t bother you for a week.”
Touya snickers at that. “Fine,” he says to Tenko. Then, to you: “You can borrow some of my clothes for him, but I’m not helping you give him a bath.”
“I wouldn’t ask you to,” you say. The idea of giving doll Tenko a bath felt so weird that you never did it. The idea of giving adult Tenko a bath is less weird but still something you aren’t looking forward to. You can hear sirens in the distance. “We should go now.”
Tenko’s semiconscious as you and the Todorokis load him into Touya’s car. Nobody wants to sit in the back with him, but someone has to, so you and Tenko have the backseat to yourself while all three Todorokis jam together up front. Tenko buckles his own seatbelt, but as soon as Touya pulls onto the main road, he unbuckles himself and crawls across the backseat towards you. You retreat, but there’s only so far you can go. “Uh –”
“Guys, he’s climbing on her!” Natsuo’s keeping an eye on you. “Leave her alone!”
Touya meets your eyes in the rearview mirror. “Need me to pull over?”
You shake your head. Tenko’s settling into the seat next to yours, and he buckles himself again before twisting sideways to face you. He looks awful, and somehow worse than that, he looks scared. You can’t tell if it’s a childish fear or not. Tenko hasn’t left his house in seventeen years – it wouldn’t surprise you if he was agoraphobic. And if you’d just left the only home you’d ever known in flames behind you, you’d be scared, too.
And you remember what Tenko said to you, after you told him what happened to your brother. He probably wasn’t talking to your brother from the beyond. But if the story Touya and the others believe about how Hana and Tenko ended up in the well is true, Tenko knows how it feels to have an older sister who tried to save him. Maybe it’s still okay for you to believe that your brother, wherever he is, feels the same way, too. Tenko didn’t have to give you that, but he did.
You open your arms slightly, and Tenko collapses forward into them, his spiderlike hands grabbing fistfuls of your shirt and hanging on tight. He’s too tall to hide his face in your shoulder, like he seems to want to do. His mouth ends up pressed against your ear instead. “I’m not a doll anymore,” he says. His voice is roughened with smoke, but there’s a softness to it, incongruous enough to make your skin crawl. “I can take care of you, too.”
It could be a child’s innocent insistence on fairness, a man’s confident assertion, a monster’s implicit threat. As Touya’s car speeds down the road, you come to the conclusion that it might be all three at once, and something more – the promise of a lover, sealed by cracked, bloody lips pressing against your cheek.
#asks#shigaraki x reader#shigaraki x you#shigaraki tomura x reader#shigaraki tomura x you#tomura shigaraki x reader#tomura shigaraki x you#tenko shimura x reader#tenko shimura x you#shimura tenko x reader#shimura tenko x you#x reader#reader insert#man door hand hook car door#anons#halloween 2024
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Stupid Games
Summary: Takes place during S2 You’re the eldest of the Greene sisters (about 10 years older than Maggie). You’re mean, overprotective of your family, and overall just kind of a mythic bitch. Daryl can’t seem to keep his eyes from wandering over you whenever you’re around. One day you run into each other in the woods while hunting down the same deer and Daryl finds himself being toyed with. Maybe you’re not as cold and forbidding as you let on, but then again, maybe you’re just luring him into playing a stupid little game with you.
A/N: This is an excerpt from a fic I want to post to AO3 but don’t have anything substantial enough to post a full chapter yet so I wanted to post this here and see if it was good enough to keep working on. Might post another part I have written as a companion piece if people like this enough.
The first time Daryl laid eyes on you, you were just a distant figure on the roof of the Greene family farmhouse as he rode in at the head of the convoy on his bike. You were sitting on the porch overhang, looking out over your father's land with the vigilance of a grizzled soldier on the front lines. He watched you stand up as they drove up your gravel path. You put out a cigarette you'd been smoking in an ashtray resting on an open window ledge before climbing into the house. He and the rest of the members of his group that had stayed behind at the highway the night previous had made it up to the path and met up with the people who were already working on something judging by the pile of rocks they were collecting in a wheelbarrow by the time you reemerged on the porch. You surveyed him and the others with a set and piercing stare, arms crossed defensively over your chest as if daring one of them to cause trouble and give you a reason to beat their ass. You were followed out of the house by an older man in his seventies and the rest of Daryl’s group. You took stock of the new arrivals, starting with him and working your way over everyone, scanning them like you could see everything there was to know about them on their skin and didn't like it. When you were done you fixed your gaze back onto Daryl as if you'd identified him as the biggest threat. He hated the feel of your suspicious stare, though he told himself it was typical of people to see him as nothing but trouble and to treat him like dirt so he should be used to it. The way you tilted your head from your elevated position on the raised porch—like you were looking down at an ant and trying to decide whether it was worth the energy to squash it—made him fidget.
“How is he?” Dale asked after Carl when Rick and Lori came out of the house looking like they’d just been through hell and hadn't slept a wink.
“He'll pull through,” Lori responded, relief clear in her voice, “Thanks to Hershel and his daughter, (y/n),” She said motioning towards you, “and their people, and–”
“and Shane,” Rick added, “We'd have lost Carl if not for him.”
Daryl watched your already cold eyes darken and a snarl twist across your face at the statement, failing to suppress an eye roll before you yanked your head away from the group and the conversation like it disgusted you, choosing instead to stare off towards a barn at a distant end of the property. He wondered what your problem was, but he wasn't wondering long. It was revealed soon after the group arrived that someone had gone with Shane when he went to retrieve medical supplies for Carl and that that person did not return with him. Someone you and your family cared for.
If it wasn't made clear by the way Lori recognized those living at the farm house as not just your father's people but yours as well that you were the oldest child, it would have become obvious by the way your sisters looked to you for comfort at Otis's funeral. The little blonde one bawled her eyes out and clung to you like a child clings to their mother while Maggie, the woman who'd rode up to them on a horse the other day, leaned down to your height to rest her head on your shoulder. You tucked the sniffling teenager under your arm protectively, rubbing at her shoulder and pressing a kiss to her forehead and then turned to bump your head softly against Maggie’s in a comforting way. Your lips pursed like you were sucking on a lemon as you tried your best to stay strong and not start crying like your sisters, pinning Shane with a frigid and accusatory glare that he expertly ignored as he told the story of how he and Otis were ambushed by a group of walkers while retrieving the medical supplies for Carl and that Otis had valiantly stayed behind to cover his retreat, shooting into the herd with a pistol before ultimately being swallowed up by the swarm and getting torn to shreds. Daryl found it miraculous that Shane managed to recover the gun but not the man that had supposedly been firing it in his daring escape—and by miraculous he meant shady. You didn't seem to be buying Shane’s story, either.
After the service your father motioned toward you and told you to show the guests where to set up their camp, as he graciously agreed to let them stay until Carl recovered and they had located Sophia. You nodded dutifly with a muttered “Yessir,” motioning to Rick with your head, beckoning him to follow as you untangled yourself from your siblings and began marching off in a direction with purpose, not looking back to check if anyone was following you. If the group couldn't keep up with your quick gait that was just too damn bad. They did their best to match your pace, some, like Daryl, breaking off to fetch the vehicles and bring them over to where they were meant to stay. When you got to a spot under some particularly shady trees a good distance from your house you stopped, looking around as you waited for the group to congregate. When everyone was grouped up again you addressed them directly for the first time that morning. Your voice was down to business and detached as you pointed out where the boundaries of the camp would be and where the well they could use for water was. “One more thing,” You said with the same rural twang as your sisters, your tone changing to one of warning as you shifted your weight from one foot to the other, jutting out your hip and resting your hand against it. Daryl followed the movement, your curves drawing his eyes in a way that made him itch and blush. “My daddy believes we should be good christians—help our fellow men and give ‘em the benefit of the doubt, but I don't share his blind faith. I don't know you people and I don't trust you. I can’t afford to, I have a baby sister to protect. Beth is sixteen, you understand? She's a child. If I catch any of your men lookin’ at her, talkin’ to her—sniffin’ around her in any way, I will rip their balls off like I'm takin’ a part off a Mr. Potato Head.” You made a popping sound with your lips that had Daryl's stare fixing on them instead of your hips, and gave a motion with your hand as if grabbing at something and yanking it down. “Clean off,” you reiterated, staring Glen down who swallowed thickly and tried to give you a friendly and disarming smile that did not change your attitude in the slightest. “Maggie can take care of herself but still, if someone upsets her, with God as my witness there will be hell to pay.”
There was a loud silence from the group after your blatant threats of bodily harm that was broken by Dale, ever the peacekeeper. “We understand where you're coming from, you have nothing to worry from us. We're good people, you'll see. Thank you for letting us stay on your beautiful property while Carl recovers and we look for Sophia.”
You scoffed, “You're only here because we shot your boy,” you reminded bluntly as you turned to leave for your house, “don't thank us.”
Daryl’s first impression of you: You were a bitch, but a bitch who loved her family. The only times he ever caught you cracking a smile or being anywhere close to kind during those first few days was when you were with them. You seemed to disagree with your dad on a lot of things, but it was clear you both respected and loved each other and that you had a bond that had been worked on and cultivated to be strong enough for you to argue and debate and still look at each other with love. After every tiff he’d catch you having in the windows of the front room, spitting and pinching the bridge of your nose and tossing your hands up while your dad calmly spoke back you would sigh, relax your gaze, and kiss his cheek or his forehead before stomping off with a storm cloud over your head. You’d grin wolfishly as you and Maggie laughed conspiratorially on the porch in the afternoon, teasing each other as you ate cherries together, trying to hit each other with the pits you spat out. Your whole face would soften when you looked at Beth, practically glowing with unconditional adoration as you played on the guitar Dale had originally found for Glen and accompanied the little blonde girl as she sang her heart out. Your voice was low, bluesy, raw, and filled with vibrato. There was an untrained authenticity to it that was almost hypnotic. It paired well with your sister who sang like a songbird, pretty and light as if she’d been taught by actual birds. You were happy to let her take the center stage, supporting her through harmony while your fingers strummed frets with a clumsy sort of charm, like you were taught to play at one point but never practiced, and were now making all sorts of mistakes that were going to become bad habits without a proper teacher. It was later revealed that Otis had taught you the basics a few years back and you’d only bothered to pick it back up now that he was gone and Beth needed someone new to perform with. You softened for Patricia, as well, helping her in the kitchen and going out of your way to assist her with her chores on the farm despite having plenty of your own responsibilities to fulfill.
Daryl’s group, however, you continued to treat like shit on your shoe. You made no effort to hide that you wanted them off your property as soon as possible, only showing a hint of compassion when it came to Lori and Carol, the mothers of the group who were distraught over the perils of their children. They were the ones you supplied the group’s meals to, giving them bushels of produce and bottles of milk and sending your sisters over to hand them baskets of eggs, even going so far as to offer Carl some of your late step-brother’s hand-me-downs to wear, but you still had a cold sneer on your face when you handed things over and you didn’t speak to them unless it was to ask how Carl was recovering or if they were making any progress finding Sophia. You were only asking to try and gauge how much longer you’d have to wait before kicking them out, and you grew more and more agitated the more the group settled in. Every time Rick or Dale or anyone tried to appeal to you or your dad about staying longer or staying permanently you’d bristle like a cat being pet the wrong way. You made a point to avoid them most of the time, which was just fine with Daryl because every interaction he did have with you pissed him off, and only fueled his own frustration when it became harder and harder to ignore you or look away.
For instance, the first one on one conversation he ever had with you was out in the woods while he was looking for Sophia. He was about to give up the search for the day and head back when he picked up the trail of a deer. He stalked it through the woods, thinking it’d be better to provide the farm with some venison than to return empty handed again. When he finally found it, he took aim and shot it at an angle that had it sprinting off with a limp in the direction of the farm. That’s when he heard a startled gasp and watched as you rushed out of the nearby foliage with a rifle, taking aim at the retreating deer before realizing you couldn’t get a clear shot on it. You then turned to where he was, gun dropping in your arms as you pinned him with a furious look. “Congratulations, Numb-Nuts, it got away.”
“The hell are you doing out here?” Daryl snapped, face red at the way you were treating him like a dullard with no idea what he was doing.
You seemed flustered by the question, looking down and kicking at the dirt with your horse-riding boot. “Came out to hunt and figured I’d look around for the missing little girl while I was at it,” you said with a casual shrug, avoiding his eyes until you seemed to remember you were pissed at him at which point your head snapped up and that signature sneer of yours was back. “Saw the deer and was gonna take it out but somebody went and scared it off.”
“I shot it in the leg on purpose,” Daryl explained defensively, getting angry and up in your face, “see that trail it left? It’s carryin’ itself back to the farm, less effort this way.” He looked you up and down and scoffed, nodding towards your gun. “What's with the rifle, Annie Oakley? You shoot that thing, every walker in a five mile radius is gonna come here to tear you and that deer apart.”
You slung your weapon over your shoulder and crossed your arms defiantly, “It takes a buck down in one clean, quick shot. The animal feels little to no pain if you know what you’re doin’ so it’s not suffering with an arrow in its ass for half a mile. Plus, I woulda been outta here with the buck slung over my shoulder long before anything came over to check out the noise.” You were confident, clearly convinced you knew better and that your methods were best. Daryl couldn’t have that. He had a good decade’s worth of experience on you and he hadn't had his hand held the whole time he was taught to track the way you probably had. He licked his lips ready to knock you down a peg.
“Yeah, but you’d be so exhausted from caryin’ it the whole way that if a walker came up on you, you’d be too tired to fight it off. Maybe you’d be able to drop the deer and fumble for your rifle, but that’s as far as you’d get. It’d be on you in a second. Would a little thing like you be able to fight it off? You even got a weapon other than that big ol’ Elmer Fudd gun?” As he was talking he saw your expression shift. You tilted your head like something had just occurred to you and you were sizing him up.
Suddenly, you brought your right leg up, bent at the knee so you could lift a jack knife from your boot, and flicked the blade out so it pointed at his chest. That shut him up for a second. He really hadn’t expected the quickness with which you had it drawn on him. “Believe me,” you let out a bored, breathy sigh, a smirk on your face like you knew you had the upper hand, “I’ve got some experience dealing with ravenous things that want to pin me down and devour me, I can handle myself just fine.” …were you still talking about walkers? You were, right? The way you poked the tip of your knife against the skin of his chest peeking out from under his open collar and gently dragged it down until it caught on the button of his shirt had him feeling goosebumps on his flesh and hearing innuendo in your words. You took a step towards him, looking up at him through long lashes with your chest puffed—either in pride or in an attempt to get him to look at your breasts. Regardless of the reason, It was working. “What about you? You sure you can catch up to that deer before somethin’ else does? You said it yourself, it’s hurt and slowing down—a biter could take it down in a matter of moments. Then what, tough guy?” Daryl had nothing to say in defense of that. Partly because your slightly seductive shift in demeanor had his mouth going dry and partly because you had a point and he knew it. He remembered the last time he’d hunted a deer like this, it’d carried itself all the way back to the quarry camp before getting caught on the fishing line of the perimeter alarms they put up and then it’s stomach was ripped apart and it’s innards devoured by a walker that followed the sound of a wounded, frightened animal and jingling cans. You must have seen in his eyes that you’d caught him because your slight smile spread into a full-on Cheshire cat grin. You retracted your knife and returned it to your boot, turning and sauntering off in the direction the deer had run off in. “guess we’d better go find it, huh?”
Daryl stalled for a second, stunned by your behavior. One second you’re spitting venom at him and making him feel like he’s two feet tall, the next you’re purring like a kitten and being the biggest fucking tease he’d ever had to endure. He mentally smacked himself when he realized he’d been so focused on the sway of your hips as you walked away that he wasn’t following you like he should be. He began jogging to catch up with you, falling into step easily as you both picked up the deer’s trail again. “You even know how to track?” He couldn't help but keep trying to pick a fight with you—he didn’t even know why, but as much as bickering with you pissed him off, he also found it fun. You didn’t treat his meanness like something you had to quell or cry about like his group did, you stood your ground and tossed your own barbs right back at him. It was like a game. A game he seemed to be losing, but that didn’t mean he was going to stop playing.
You looked over to him, a brow raised as you scanned him up and down. “Yes, I do. Do you own a shirt you haven’t ripped the sleeves off of?” You nodded to the button down he was wearing. He’d torn the sleeves off a few days ago because it was too hot to wear them and he needed the fabric to tie markers off on trees to denote what parts of the woods he’d already searched through in case the others ever decided to get off their asses and help look for Sophia. He had a few other shirts that had sleeves at some point but no longer did that he wore in a common rotation. He must have had a sour look on his face at your retaliating comment because you shook your head and chuckled under your breath, “don’t play stupid games if you don’t wanna win stupid prizes.”
You walked through the woods mostly in silence after that, not wanting to make an abundance of noise and end up accidentally spooking the deer. That became a competition as well, with you both smirking in triumph every time the other stepped on a twig or kicked up a bit of dirt in your effort to leave as little evidence of a trail as possible. Eventually, as you were coming up on a clearing near the edge of your property where the tall grass almost completely covered the view of your home in the distance, Daryl stuck his hand out to stop you and put a finger to his lips, pointing towards the buck you’d both been after peeking out through the foliage, whining softly and doing its best to lick at the wound in its back leg. You took cover behind a honeysuckle bush and Daryl nodded at you and your gun, “I got the last shot, your turn.”
You hesitated a second, scanning the woods and warily looking towards your farm. “Too close to home to use the gun now, it’d attract the dead to our property. Lemme borrow that crossbow of yours.” You held your hand out for it and Daryl clutched it away from your grasp. You looked at him first confused by his reluctance then annoyed, “please?” you said petulantly. After a beat of studying your face he eventually relented, but only after you’d started pouting a little. The second it was in your grip you hefted it up, remarking that it was heavier than you expected.
Daryl watched you handle it a bit clumsily as you got used to holding it and his fingers itched to show you how to aim it right. In the end, he couldn’t help himself. He came up behind you and put his hands on your hips, angling them the right way so you had a solid stance. He felt you stiffen under his hands and could hear your breath catching in your throat. “You wanna stand like this,” he coached, his arms coming around you to adjust your elbows and help you aim the weapon straight. You leaned back against his chest a little, maybe unconsciously, maybe on purpose. “Then just use the arrow tip like a sight and pull the trigger.” He could feel you shift as his breath brushed against the skin of your neck. The way you acted made you so big and imposing, but actually having you in his arms made you feel so small and demure; like he could envelop you entirely and keep you all to himself if he wanted. The way you’d been acting the past half hour made him feel like you might want that, too. The idea sort of excited him a little—made his pants and his chest feel tight. There was a quiet moment where he expected you to aim and fire, but it passed and the arrow still hadn’t been shot. He turned to look at you and see what the hold up was. Surley, you weren’t that unsure of your aim. He flinched back a bit when he moved his head in your direction and almost brushed noses with you, as you were not looking at the deer and had instead shifted to look back at him, a look on your face reminiscent of a cat playing with a cornered mouse.
“You really are just like any other man, aren’t you?” you crooned out in a teasing tone.
“What?” his mind went blank in his dumbfoundedness and that was all he could manage to utter.
“In my experience, I’ve found that any man who’s attracted to a woman is always willing to believe two things about her: One, that she doesn’t know anything about anything and needs him to help her, and two, that she’s just as attracted to him as he is to her.” Daryl’s mouth opened and closed like a fish at that statement, unsure what you meant or how he was supposed to respond. In that time you yanked yourself out of his grip, redid your stance, took aim with perfect form, and let loose an arrow with absolutely no hesitation. The deer let out a sad bleat as it was shot in the eye and then it crumpled into the grass, dead as a doornail. You handed his crossbow back to him with a nasty, shit-eating grin. “Do I really strike you as the type of person who’d ask to borrow somethin’ I didn’t know how to use? Honestly now, all I had to do was bat my lashes and push up my tits and you were all ‘here, let me get up close behind you and show you how to hold this big heavy tool’.” You said those last three words in an erotic and over dramatic moan, getting close to press your breasts against him as you ran your hand up his chest.
He pushed you away, a heavy blush heating his face while you began to cackle maniacally at him. “How the hell was I supposed to know you knew how to use it when you were fumbling with it like a toddler?” he barked out angrily as you stepped out from behind the bush you’d both been hiding behind and began walking towards the farm, still laughing. “Hey! Ain’t you gonna take the deer? It’s your kill!”
You turned around with mirth dancing in your eyes and a wide happy grin on your face. The light of the setting sun bounced off your hair making it look so shiny as the light summer breeze ran through it, making it float and sway around you in such a pretty way. Daryl felt his heart pound hard in his chest as he glared over your retreating figure. You were walking backwards, tucking a few strands of hair that had flown into your face back behind your ear as you said, “Who, me? But I'm just a ‘little thing’ who’d get tired if I carried it all the way back. You’re the big strong man—use those big strong muscles to carry it back for me. Oh, and since you’re the big strong provider, you can go ahead and string it up, drain it, and skin it, too. Thanks for your help,” you sing-songed sarcastically, “I just don’t know how I ever woulda done it without you!” Daryl began to huff, storming towards you for a second, unsure of what he’d even do if he caught you, but he felt like you’d just tricked him and he didn’t like it. You held your hands up in your defense as you saw him coming. “Stupid games, stupid prizes,” you reiterated with a shrug as you giggled and turned, running back towards the farm and leaving him in the thicket with the dead buck.
Daryl got the sudden sense as he watched you slow your pace to a jog then a brisk walk once you’d gotten far enough away that this had all been a test of some kind. He couldn’t tell if he passed or failed, but you certainly seemed pleased about the results either way. He kicked at the ground, a clump of dirt launching into the air as he did so, and moved to heft the buck over his shoulder. He didn’t know if or when you’d ever come looking to play again, but if you did, he’d make sure he won.
As he strung up the deer in a tree a little ways away from the group’s makeshift camp later that afternoon, cutting at its arteries and letting the blood drain out of it, he imagined what you might look like when he got the upper hand on you. What would you look like when the sneers and the smirks were wiped away and you were pinned down, completely at his mercy—all flustered with your cheeks flushed, trying to squirm your way out from under him. He bet you’d still have bite. He bet you would still spit venom, but maybe he could get you to purr for him, too. Maybe he could get you to look at him the way you looked at your family, all sweet smiles and gentle touches. The thought made him eager to play another one of your stupid little games.
#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon x y/n#daryl x reader#daryl dixon imagine#daryl dixon#daryl dixon x you#daryl dixon x female reader#twd fic
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Groupie - Avengers!Bucky Barnes/Fan!Reader
✦ Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader ✦ Word count: ~3,6k ✦ Rating: Explicit ✦ Warnings: Avenger!Bucky, Avenger!Fan!Reader, secret crush, secret hero, fluff, smut, the tiniest bit of angst, misunderstandings, piv sex, breeding kink (I'm not messing around with this one), talk of getting reader pregnant, pet name (Bunny), dirty talk, sex with feelings, multiple orgasms (for both), unprotected sex, creampie. ✦ Summary: Since joining the Avengers you've been avoiding Bucky Barnes, afraid of what would happen if he ever learned the truth. ✦ Note: I have no idea how to tag this, so if I missed something please let me know. I don't know where this came from so just... it is what it is! This is also posted on AO3.
Masterlist | AO3
Stark called a meeting at the workshop in the evening to show off one of his new inventions that could aid them in the field. As you stand in the back and watch, Bucky comes up beside you, and just as always you discreetly take a small step to the side. Everyone, including Bucky, assumes you dislike him, and you are happy to keep up that front since admitting to the truth would be unprofessional and cause a lot more trouble than avoiding him.
He gives you a sideways glance but doesn’t mention it, he’s used to it by now. Unfortunately, you are still close enough to smell his cologne and it makes your pulse pick up. Unbidden images of being under him, smelling his sweat mixed with the perfume while he takes you apart appear inside your mind. Stark says something but you can’t concentrate with Bucky so close. Shifting even further to the side, he glances at you again and his brows draw together.
"I can go stand somewhere else if it bothers you so much," his tone is annoyed but low, to not disturb the demonstration. "No, it's fine," you mumble. "You forget I can hear your heart beating,” he points out. “And it sounds like a bunny rabbit backed into a corner by a wolf." That doesn't make you any calmer. If he can hear that, can he smell how aroused he makes you every time he gets close? "Sorry, I-" but your mouth has turned dry as a desert. You avoid speaking to Bucky as much as possible because you fear you will just make a fool out of yourself. As you’re doing right now.
"I never understood what you have against me," he crosses his arms, eyes on Stark's display. "Did I hurt someone close to you back in the day or are you afraid I'll revert and start killing again?" Shame fills your chest. You want to turn to him and hug him, explain that it’s not in any way like that. For years you have admired Bucky and when you had gotten the promotion to work with the Avengers your friends had teased you mercilessly about finally meeting your idol, but when you did and you realized that he was everything you had ever dreamed of you got scared. If he knew your secret he would most likely never speak to you again.
"It's not like that," you whisper, finally daring a look at him, but regretting it right away. His beautiful blue eyes are watching you. Quickly you avert your gaze. "You can't even look at me." And that is true. You always look at something else when Bucky is in the same room as you. The only time you allow yourself to admire him is when he's caught up in something else when there is no chance his attention will shift to you.
Just the small amount of it he is giving you right now is almost unbearable. You want to climb him, wrap your legs around his waist, grab his hair, and crush your lips to his. It's dangerous to be so close to him so you do the only thing you can. "I should go, I'm sorry," you mumble and turn on your heel, quickly exiting the workshop and heading for the elevators.
When you're inside your room you breathe a sigh of relief. That had been a close call. Your insides feel like melted ice cream and your knees get weak at remembering how he watched you. The only problem is that maybe you aren’t as smooth at avoiding him as you think, since he had noticed. You'd have to fix that somehow.
Kneeling at the side of your bed you reach in under it to pull out the box. It's discreet and if someone else found it they would probably assume it would be full of sex toys and the like. But a box full of toys would be mildly embarrassing compared to the actual content of the box.
Inside is a big photo book. Leaning against the bed frame you place it on your lap, opening it to the first page. You've tried to keep it in chronological order over the years and the first page contains a few news articles from the war where either the Howling Commandos or Bucky himself appear. You love to see how it starts with small mentions but then the articles grow bigger and bigger. It had been hard to track down some full spreads, not to mention expensive as fuck, and some things you were still saving up for.
Then there are the articles about the Winter Soldier. They needed to be in there, but you never read them. It was before anyone knew the truth about the mind control and the years of torture. The text described him as a killing machine with no morals, not caring who he hurt to get to his price. You quickly skip past those pages.
Your favorite part is the last bit of the album. Recent interviews and photoshoots with the super soldier, talking about his life and his struggles. Not to mention the stylists always made sure to show off his physic, be it suits or sportswear.
Inside the box are also a replica of his dog tags and the hat he'd worn with his uniform. Putting the tags over your head you play with them between your fingers, remembering how they look around his neck. In your previous apartment, they'd been hanging on the wall and your friends had joked about it being a shrine. Now you are too scared to have it on display. If someone sees it they will think you are insane.
You're startled from your musings by a knock on the door and without much thinking you put the book on the bed before opening it.
Bucky is standing on the other side. The demonstration must have ended. "What is your problem with me?" The words fail you as your heart starts hammering. He is too close, but if you back away he will probably take it as an invitation to come in and that would be disastrous. "I have barely spoken to you since you got here but you've managed to make it very clear how much you detest me. I just want to know why." He's annoyed and desperate at the same time. "Can I do something to fix it? I can't have a team member be afraid of me when we go out into the field and I… are those my dog tags?"
Ice rushes into your veins as you realize you forgot to take them off and you quickly cover them with your hand. "No," you lie. "They have my name on them." "No, they don't." "Are you serious?” Now he’s looking more mad. “Tell me what the fuck is going on right now."
You fucked up. You could keep on lying, close the door in his face, and never speak to him again. Ask for a transfer. Or you could show him. And then ask for a transfer. Because whatever you did you would not keep your job after this.
With trembling hands you open the door, releasing your hold on the dog tags and gesturing for him to come inside. "Sit," you murmur and when he does you place the book in his lap. He glances at you and for the first time you hold his gaze. This might be the last time you see him so you might as well take advantage of the moment. It will never happen again. "Open it."
As he hesitantly opens the first page you slip off the dog tags and place them into the box before sitting down too, with a decent amount of space between the two of you.
While he's occupied you study his face and try to commit it to memory. Bucky Barnes, in your room, on your bed, reading your album. It's a dream come true. Though you had hoped it would be after sex while you were still naked in bed, and you could take it out and show him. But this works too.
"This is extensive,” he sounds impressed and you hope he is. You wouldn’t say it’s your life's work but it’s something you worked hard on and is proud of. "I know." "When did you do this?" He looks at you. You shrug in response, "Over the years." "Years?" "I started it when I was in my early twenties.” "How did you find everything?" "The internet can be a wonderful place with like-minded people." "I can't imagine what it could have cost you." "I prefer not to think about it," you laugh.
He glances down into the box and then bends down to pick up the hat. "Please tell me this isn't the original one." "Oh god no, it's a replica!" "Can I try it?" "Please do!" Bucky puts the hat on, tips it to the side, and turns to you with a smile. It's impossible to not smile back when he looks so handsome. "Still fits you." "Feels odd. We used to wear them all the time, but I guess I've gotten used to a life without hats." He removes it and puts it back into the box before picking up the dog tags.
"I have a feeling you don't have these things because you hate me." "I don't hate you, it's quite the opposite." "Then why keep avoiding me?" You twist in your spot uncomfortably, not knowing what to say. "It's embarrassing. I never thought I would actually get to meet you when I started this collection." "I honestly feel honored. I'm not usually the person people think it's worth remembering." You tilt your head, "I do." "I can see that."
For a moment you look at each other and you get to experience what it feels like to drown in his eyes. Those blue magical pools that you've only ever studied on printed paper or through a screen. It could never compare to the real thing. Fearing you're going to say something more stupid you take the book from him. "So now you know," you say. "If you want me to transfer I'll happily put in a request. You were never meant to see it and I understand if it makes you uncomfortable around me." "No, that won't be necessary," he assures you. "But there is one thing I still don't get."
When you look up from your lap he's moved much closer. Too close again. His presence fills your senses in a way no one else has ever done. "What?" your voice almost cracks. "Why do you move away as soon as I get close?" His voice is low, as if not to scare you. With a wobbly laugh, you put the book down in between you and Bucky, scooting a bit away, studying the bedsheets.
"As you're doing now." "It's just, I like my personal space," you explain. "And you won't look at me." A single finger lands under your chin and tilt your head towards him. He's touching you. Bucky Barnes is touching you.
"Are you sure you aren't scared, Bunny?" "Ye-yeah," you swallow. "Because I think your heart is about to burst out of your chest." He moves the book out of the way and slides right up to you, until his leg is pressed against yours. The finger is still holding you in place, craning your neck to look at him. Your body flushes with heat. Now he's really touching you. "So what is it then?" There is a teasing in his voice, as if he knows but he wants to hear you say it.
Your tongue wet your dry lips and his focus shifts to that for a second. Opening your mouth to give him an answer, nothing comes out, not even the truth. "Bunny, you better answer me."
Finally, you find your voice. "I'm scared I won't be able to control myself," you confess. "And what would happen if you lost control?"
You close your eyes. You can't look at him when you speak. "I'll drop to my knees and beg to suck your cock." Bucky inhales sharply. "Or climb into your lap and beg you to fuck me. I'd let you do anything to me just to get a small taste. I'd ask you to use my body as you wanted and I won't need anything in return." "Fuck, Bunny. You have a dirty mind." "Sorry, I can't help that you smell so good and look so hot, it's too much."
His finger on your chin changes to a grip and you open your eyes, meeting his. They're filled with greed for something you don't understand. "You'd let me fuck you?" "Yes" "How about coming inside you?" "God yes!" "When was the last time you had tests done?" "Maybe a month ago? They were clean." "Any partner since then? Are you on birth control?" You hesitate for a moment. "Bunny?" "No… to both" Bucky laughs. "You would let me breed you, Bunny? Fuck you raw until you're bursting with my cum?"
The moan slips out unbidden. Just the thought of his raw dick inside you. Playing pregnancy roulette. It makes you so hot. "Yes, I would Bucky."
"Take off your clothes, lay on your back." You stare at him. "Is something unclear?" "You? And me? You want to have sex with me?" Something crosses over Bucky's face. "You don't have to." He reassures you. "No! I want to! I just… I never thought you'd want to. With me." "Well, you're wrong. And if you want to with me you better do as you're told."
Scrambling to take off your clothes you watch Bucky as he stands up and slowly starts doing the same. He's only gotten his shirt off by the time you're naked. "Spread your legs, let me see."
You pull your knees up and let them fall to the side. The stickiness from your arousal has already coated the inside of your thighs. You're sure you've never been this wet before in your life.
"Bunny's got a cute little pussy on her." Bucky's smile is predatory like he is an actual white wolf stalking its prey. He's down to his boxers now, his erection outlined through the cotton. It's big. "Don't look scared, we'll make it fit, I promise."
When his boxers are off too you can't help but stare but you’re more excited than anything else. The pulse in your cunt doesn't care if it’s going to hurt, there is only one thing on your mind. "I want your cock Bucky," you tell him. "Don't worry, you'll get it." He crawls on top of you, keeping his weight on his forearms and his body off of yours. "But I'm going to kiss you first."
His lips are soft but his kiss is demanding. It leaves no room for hesitation that he doesn't want you. Quickly he works your mouth open and moans when his tongue finds yours. You put your hands in his hair, guiding him to where you want his mouth. Then he descends your body, nipping at your jaw, sucking on your neck before finding your breasts. One hand is warm and the other is cold as he presses them together, caressing the nipples with his thumbs, making you keen and shudder. He uses his mouth to pull more sounds from you, licking, sucking, and dragging his teeth lightly against the stiff peaks, until your naked pelvis bucks up against his upper body, trying to find friction for the need he causes in you.
"You need something, Bunny?" "I need you to fuck me!" "It would be better for you if you come first." "No, I need it now! Stretch me with your cock Bucky, please I need it so bad!"
In a second he's kissing you again, feverishly, and this time he lets his body sink down on yours, his thick shaft brushing your wet center, making both of you shudder. Bucky reaches down and uses his hand to guide the tip to your opening. "Tell me if it hurts and we'll stop." "Promise." You relax into the bed, spreading your legs, and watch Bucky's face as he pushes into you.
He's big, but you're also incredibly wet. Your body slowly gives for his intrusion. There is a slight sting but it quickly turns into pleasure as he fills you. "So big!" you moan and experimentally move against him. "Fuck, Bunny, this is the tightest pussy I fucking ever felt. You're going to be the death of me." "Make me come first, then you can die." With a grunt, he pulls back and pushes in, carefully to get you used to him, but it’s not what you want or need.
"Move, please move. Fuck me Bucky!" you beg and he does. Not in your wildest fantasies could you predict this sensation. So full. So good. Bucky groaning above you. His warm skin under the palms of your hands. The sound of your arousal mixing with the sound of skin meeting skin.
"I'm already leaking into your cunt Bunny. It feels so good." "Yes, Bucky!" "Did you know I have almost zero recovery time? I just need a quick breather after coming before I can go again." With a moan, you wrap your legs around him. "I'm going to fill you with so much cum you'll be drunk on it." He leans down until he's right by your ear.
"I'll breed you all night long. And I'll continue to do it every night until you're pregnant." "Bucky!" "You fucking like that, I can feel how tight you get!"
Shaking your head you try to deny it, but carrying his baby would be the ultimate fantasy. "Please make me full of you! I want a baby Bucky. Make me fucking pregnant with our child!"
"Dirty! Fucking! Mind!" He says through gritted teeth, punctuating every word with a particularly hard thrust. "More!" You cry as the pressure inside you builds. Bucky quickly sits up on his knees, grabbing your hips, pulling you onto his dick as he thrusts inside you. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" you chant. "Make me come, Bucky! Please! More!"
"Bunny!" he warns. "You better fucking come before me, I can't hold it with your tight cunt squeezing me like that!" Desperately you start rubbing your clit and a moment later everything explodes through your body. With an unearthly wail, you find your release and Bucky quickly follows, cursing and roaring while he pumps you full.
The world is unsteady for a moment but then it rights itself. Bucky's head is thrown back as he heaves in lungfuls of air and you're no better where you're lying. He's not soft inside you yet and maybe he won't even go down.
"That was…" you begin but then shake your head with a stupid smile on your lips. "Better than you thought it would be?" He asks. "A million times better." "Good because we're not done." He releases your hips to once again lean down over you, kissing you much softer this time, moving his hips slower. It makes you keen into his mouth with the delicious stretch and the wetness of his release adding to the feeling. It leaks onto the sheets as he fucks you but you don't mind. At the end of all this, your sheets will probably need to be burned.
"Bunny, fuck, Bunny, look at me," Bucky demands and you do. He's close enough that you share a breath. "So fucking pretty. My little groupie." Despite the situation you laugh. "Aren't you?" "Absolutely Bucky, I'm your groupie." "Only mine?" "Of course! I don't have any more boxes under the bed." "Good." He rests his head at the crook of your neck, his hot breath ticking your skin and you close your eyes and enjoy the feeling of him surrounding you. Soon another orgasm works its way through your body. You don't scream this time, instead, you whisper in his ear how fucking good it feels, how he's filling you so well, and how you want him to breed you.
Moments later Bucky bursts inside you for the second time. He takes a minute before he rolls the two of you over so you're on top. The strength in your body is nearly gone but Bucky's serum keeps him going. And he keeps his promise. All through the night, he fills you and by the time the sun starts rising, he pulls one last weak orgasm from you before stopping.
"So fucking pretty," he muses as he spreads you open to watch the cum run out of you, before pushing some of it back in with his fingers, making you whine. With a chuckle, he wipes it off on the sheets, and then looks around. "I don't think we can sleep in this bed, Bunny. Where's your pajamas?" It's a miracle you're still awake but you point to the clothes on the chair. Bucky finds you some underwear and dresses you, before carrying you to his room. There he makes you take a shower but afterward, he doesn't let you get dressed again. "I need your skin against mine," he says as he spoons you.
Several hours later you wake up, sore but in the best way. The bed is empty and you must have slept through Bucky waking up. With a giggle, you roll onto your back and that's when you feel something around your neck. Confused, you look down and find his dog tags against your bare skin. The smile on your face must be really stupid as you fiddle with them between your fingers. Who could have known meeting your hero would turn out like this?
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes smut#avengers!bucky barnes#avengers!bucky barnes x avengers!reader#veltana writes
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Birdie - Satoru Gojo | Chapter 11
words: 4,1k
summary: While everyone adored him, you stood apart in your feelings. It wouldn't be accurate to say you hated him, as " hate " was a strong word, rather, you harbored a profound dislike towards him. The problem was he knew that and his irritating presence seemed to persistently cling to you whenever he crossed your paths.
Now, you found yourself paired with him for your semester project, and the thought made you wish to hurl yourself out of the third-floor window. Three months of working alongside him loomed ahead. Adding to the discomfort, you were currently under the scrutiny of hundreds of eyes, each gaze feeling like a murder attempt. It seemed everyone coveted the opportunity to collaborate with Gojo Satoru, except for you.
ac: _3aem
tags: modern au, college au, fem!reader, academic rivals, he fell first, fluff, old money Gojo Satoru, abusive parents, slight slow burn, Satoru is a softy, secondary couple (Geto Suguru x oc), a bit of angst, no use of y/n, hurt/comfort, eventual smut, Gojo plays basketball, Gojo needs a hug
notes: I know I said I was not posting chapter till next week but I think we all need a bit of Gojo serotonin after jjk chapter 261.
materialist | previous chapter | next chapter
Birdie playlist | ao3 | Pinterest
You felt like your heart skipped a beat or maybe it was a few. Grabbing your drink you gave a big shot to it, wanting it to take away the fear and nervousness that was starting to grow within you. Fuck it. You shouldn’t have asked that question. You shouldn’t.
“Birdie…” Satoru spoke.
It was true, while you were dealing with a crisis, Satoru was still there, with his gaze completely on you. Those blue eyes always seem to be looking at you and only you. Even when the room was full of people, those blue eyes were on you.
“I need fresh air.” You stood up and felt how you almost fell due to the drinks.
“Careful.” Satoru grabbed your arm and held you steady. “I will go with you.”
“Yeah sure…” You tried to smile.
The entire way you walked out, Satoru didn't let go of your arm not for a single moment. He held you with the greatest gentleness in the world, afraid that you were going to break. When you went outside again, you once again felt the cold of the night hit your body and you shivered a little.
You no longer cared about meeting Naoya, you were with Satoru and that gave you security, but you doubted that after how Yuki had left him he would still be around.
You approached some stairs and sat on them, with Satoru standing in front of you. Your leg started to move up and down, nervously, still processing Satoru’s words. You could feel your head spinning a little bit with the simple thought of Satoru’s confession.
When you asked him that question, you expected him to drink not to receive an answer. How should you react to that?
Satoru Gojo wanted to kiss, well, he would kiss you sober. It was the same right?
Why were you so nervous?
You looked up, only to be met with Satoru’s gaze looking at you. Those eyes, that gaze. A gaze you couldn’t understand. Or rather, a gaze that you didn't want to understand.
Satoru looked at you countless times with that gaze, with eyes that you couldn't describe. You couldn’t describe it because it was a gaze you never saw before.
It hit you at that exact moment, on that spring cold night, everything started to make sense.
Satoru liked you.
And you... and you... You did feel something for him and if you had taken that step earlier, you would have proven one hundred percent that your heart felt something for Satoru Gojo.
Were you in love? You didn't know, you had never experienced love as such, but you had strong feelings for him, that for sure was something.
Feelings for Satoru Gojo.
You chuckled at the mere thought of it. Who would have thought that you could feel something for the person who was now in front of you looking at you with that look, which, no matter how much you didn't want it, made your heart beat faster.
“Listen birdie.” Satoru finally spoke. “What I said at the club… I don’t want to put pressure on you, alright?” You didn’t say a word. “Just ignore it and act as if I didn’t say anything.”
“You want me?” You asked him.
“I want you to what?”
“You really want me to ignore it?” You faced him.
“Honestly?” You nodded. “No, I don’t want you to ignore it. But you don’t… god birdie, I don’t want you to forget the answer to that question but I also don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable with something you probably don’t feel the same way.”
“How… how do you know that?” You pressed your hands against your knees and looked at Satoru through your eyelashes.
“Birdie…” He lightly laughed. “You are drunk, you don’t know what…”
“They say that drunk people always say the truth.” You looked up at him.
Your heart was pounding in your chest, the intensity reaching the depths of your emotions, making your head vibrate anticipation. Satoru opened and closed his mouth, as if he was searching for the right words to say next. You were aware of your intoxication, another sip would sink you deeper into this haze. Despite how cloudy your thoughts were, you didn't regret the honesty that was flowing from your lips.
In the heavy silence that was formed between both of you, you could practically hear your heart pounding against your chest, the anticipation being palpable in the air.
Satoru's expression softened, his eyes meeting yours with a mix of uncertainty. "I... I care about you, more than I can express in words." He admitted, his voice being only a whisper.
Your breath was caught in your throat and for a single moment you swore your heart stopped beating. The weight of his words sank as you searched in his eyes for any sign of deception. But all you found was honesty, raw and unfiltered, making you feel exposed and vulnerable under his blue eyes.
"I do not know what to say." You confessed, the words coming out before you could stop them.
Satoru reached out, his hand finding yours, his touch sending an electric shock through your body. "You do not have to say anything." He murmured, his thumb gently brushing your skin.
"I can't just ignore it." You insisted, your voice tinged with desperation, making you almost breathless.
Satoru's brow furrowed slightly, his gaze fixed on you. "I understand." He murmured, his tone soft but determined. “But perhaps now is not the best time to broach it.”
"How...how do you know?" You pressed, your voice barely more than a whisper.
"Because." Satoru began, his voice trailing off for a moment before he continued. “Because you're not thinking clearly right now. And I don't want to say something that could complicate things between us even more.”
A mix of emotions swirling inside you. Despite the fog of intoxication clouding your mind, you couldn't deny what he was saying. But at the same time, the raw honesty of the moment urged you to confront the feelings that had been simmering beneath the surface for far too long.
“I just…need to know.” You admitted, your voice shaking with uncertainty.
Satoru Gojo POV
When Satoru looked away from your tired eyes, he felt a pang of longing. He couldn't ignore the fact that you had both been drinking, clouding your judgments. Your flushed cheeks and the small pout on your lips only intensified his internal struggle. Despite the pull of desire, he knew that giving in now would do neither of you any favors.
"I..." Satoru hesitated, his voice soft but firm. "I think we should wait." He finally managed to say, his gaze meeting yours again, full of sincerity. He reached out to gently brush his fingers against your cheek, his touch tender but hesitant. "I want this." He confessed, his voice tinged with longing. “But not like this. Not when alcohol is in our way.”
In that moment, Satoru hoped you would understand his words, his desire to wait for the right moment. He watched you slowly nod and look back at your feet.
Kneeling down to your height, he called you again by the now familiar nickname he had given you. “Birdie, look at me…” You did it. “When you are completely sober, ask me the same question again.” His heart was pounding heavily. “My answer will be the same again.”
“I will…” You responded.
“I hope so.” He smiled and stood back up. “But princess, I think it’s time for you to go back home.”
You blinked a few times. “It's still early.” You said almost in a whisper.
“And you're about to fall asleep.” Satoru said. “Let's take a taxi and I'll take you home.”
“What about Kyoko and the rest?” You tried to stand but failed as you felt your legs being tired.
“Let’s go and tell them, we are leaving.” He said grabbing you from the waist.
Satoru felt his being trembling as he surrounded your hip, it was a gesture that was too close and too intimate, but it felt good. Together you returned inside the club, where Satoru quickly saw his best friend and of course, Kyoko.
“Hey!” He said approaching both of them.
Suguru and Kyoko exchanged knowing glances as they took in the scene before them, the undeniable closeness between you and Satoru. Suguru's lips curved into a knowing smile, while Kyoko's expression softened with understanding.
"Well, well, looks like someone had a good time." Suguru joked, his tone full of amusement.
You and Satoru shared a shy look. Satoru's arm remained firmly wrapped around your waist, as you leaned into his side with a feeling of familiarity and comfort.
"It seems so." Kyoko chimed in with a warm smile. "You two look..."
Satoru tried to hide the smile that was threatening to break out. “It's not like that…” He said. “Birdie is tired, I'll take her home, okay?”
Kyoko looked at her best friend. “Do you want me to go with you?”
You shook your head. "It's okay, I trust Satoru." Those words filled Satoru's heart with joy. “I'll write you a message when I arrive, okay?”
Kyoko nodded and then looked from her to Satoru. “Be careful Gojo.”
“I will.” He said, making a small nod with his head. “Let’s go?”
As the two of you walked outside the club, to wait for a taxi, Satoru couldn't help the warmth that spread through him at the sight of you leaning on his arm. Despite the haze of alcohol, your trust in him was palpable and he couldn't help but feel a flutter of hope in his chest.
He looked at you, the soft glow of the streetlights casting a soft illumination on your features. In that moment, he wanted nothing more than for time to stop, for that moment of closeness to freeze, to savor the intimacy shared between you.
When the taxi stopped in front of you, Satoru gently guided you inside, his heart pounding heavy on his chest. The drive home passed in a blur, the silence between you filled with words stuck in your throat.
When you reached your destination, Satoru got out first and extended a hand to help you out of the taxi. The cool night air enveloped them both, but the warmth of Satoru's touch remained.
"Thank you for everything, Satoru." You murmured, your voice almost as a whisper.
He smiled, his cheeks staining a light blush at your words. “Anytime, birdie.”
Turning on your heel, you begin walking towards the door. As you stumbled, almost falling, Satoru's reflexes kicked in and he reached out to steady you. His touch was gentle but firm, his concern evident in the way he held you.
"Wow, birdie," he said, his voice full of concern. "Are you okay?"
You acknowledged, grateful for his quick intervention. But as you tried to regain your balance, he realized how shaky your legs were and the effects of the alcohol were taking their toll.
"Satoru." You began, your voice barely more than a whisper. “Could you…could you walk me to my room?”
Satoru's hesitation was palpable, his brow furrowed in uncertainty. The thought of being alone with you, so close, felt a rush of mixed emotions through him.
"I... I don't know, birdie." He replied, his voice shaking slightly. “Maybe it's best if you rest here for a while, I will stay with….”
But you shook your head, determination shining in your eyes. "Please, Satoru. I don't want to be alone."
His resolve faltered at the sincerity of his plea and, with a sigh of resignation, he relented. "Okay, birdie. I'll take you to your room."
With Satoru's arm wrapped around you protectively, you headed to your room, each step feeling heavier than the last. When you reached your destination, you turned to him with a grateful smile and a heart full of appreciation for his kindness.
"Thank you, Satoru." You said softly, your voice filled with warmth.
He smiled back at you, a hint of uncertainty lingering in his gaze. "Just promise me you'll get some rest, okay?"
As Satoru stood at the door, watching you, he couldn't help the uneasy feeling that settled in the pit of his stomach. The vulnerability of the situation weighed heavily on him, his mind racing with thoughts of what could go wrong.
But as he looked at you, with your tired eyes and slumped shoulders, he knew that he couldn't leave. With a sigh of resignation, he stepped further into the room.
"If you don't mind, I'll stay with you for a while." He said softly, his voice barely more than a whisper.
You nodded, a feeling of relief washing over you at his words. "I don't mind, Satoru. I trust you."
Taking a seat next to you on the bed. For a while, the two of you sat in silence, the only sound being the steady rhythm of your breathing.
As the minutes passed, the tension in the air began to dissipate. Satoru's gaze softened as he realized that you had fallen into a dream. He smiled to himself and with trembling hands caressed your cheek.
“Rest well birdie.” He whispered to your ear, leaving a soft kiss on your lobe.
It was then that Satoru realized that you were moving your lips, whispering something. Satoru's heart skipped a beat and his breath caught as he understood the words coming out of your mouth. For a moment, he was stunned into silence.
"What do you hate, birdie?" He asked softly, his voice full of tenderness and concern.
"That I like you." You mumbled, your words barely audible in the silence of the room.
His heart clenched at the raw vulnerability of your confession. Satoru felt a warmth spread through him, a sense of hope and possibility that he couldn't ignore.
Gently, he reached out and his hand found yours in the darkness. "Birdie..." He whispered, his voice full of sincerity. "You don't have to hate it. Because I… feel the same way about you.”
Satoru knew that you would not remember those words and if you did you would believe that they were a figment of your imagination.
Satoru watched you sleep and released his grip of your hands. He lightly left your room and leaned against the door, feeling his entire being burn and his heart beat strongly in his heart.
You also reciprocated his feelings. But he should not rush, he should take it calmly, so as not to complicate anything that could happen between you.
Your pov
As you sat on your bed, dealing with the remnants of fog from the night before. The first thought that popped into your mind was a mental note to avoid drinking so much in the future.
The second thought that came to your mind was, your feelings for Satoru Gojo. You liked him more than you had ever admitted before, and the weight of that revelation washed over you with a mix of excitement and fear.
Searching through the mixed memories of the previous night, you struggled to remember the conversation you had shared with Satoru outside the club. The details were confusing, like trying to solve a puzzle with more than 1,000 pieces scattered everywhere.
A blush crept across your cheeks as you replayed the scenes in your mind, piecing together the puzzle. Satoru had confessed that he would kiss you sober, a confession that caused a flutter of anticipation in your chest. And you had hinted that you wanted the same.
You shook your head and lay back down on the bed, trying to drown out the screams building in your throat. The thought of calling Satoru crossed your head, but your heart fluttered every time you wanted to reach your phone out. The best thing would be to wait until tomorrow and talk about it tomorrow. That was the right thing to do, to talk about it in person.
You heard the front door opening and voices entering the house. With light steps you approached the voices and saw that it was Kyoko and Suguru, with a smile playing on your lips you approached them.
"Kyoko." You greeted them, your voice tinged with amusement.
Kyoko's surprise was evident when she turned to you. "I thought you were going to be sleeping." She commented.
"I just woke up." You responded with a shrug, your gaze flickering between Kyoko and Suguru. “And it looks like someone had fun last night.”
Kyoko's cheeks flushed a deep shade of red at your teasing comment, and she quickly shot you a playful glance. "Be quiet." She murmured, a hint of embarrassment coloring her words. "And you? Did you have fun with Satoru?"
The mention of Satoru's name sent a wave of warmth to your cheeks, and you were left speechless. With a nervous laugh, you looked away, hoping you were able to hide the blush that spread across your face.
“I…um.” You stuttered, your voice betraying your nervous state. “Ugh hush.” Kyoko's knowing smile only served to deepen your embarrassment.
“Well girls, I will take my leave.” Suguru said. “Love you.” He whispered against Kyoko’s lips.
“Love you too.” And they both kissed.
You looked away embarrassed from the intimacy of the moment. Suguru waved goodbye at both of you getting on his car and driving away from your house.
“So…” You began.
“Yes.” Kyoko confirmed as if she could read your mind. “And you?”
You choked on your coffee. “No!”
“Huh… sorry you both left together.” Kyoko moved her eyebrows.
“We did? Agh I can’t remember most things…” You cried. “Do you know if something happened between us?” You looked at her.
“I don’t know, I was quite busy with…” She moved her eyes.
“Kyoko…” You sighed. “I have feelings for Satoru.” You finally got it off your chest and said it out loud.
Kyoko looked at you and a big smile appeared across her face. “I knew it!” She screamed.
“How?”
“Oh girl, your eyes never lie.” She smirked. “And now Shoko owes me 7000¥!” She danced.
“Excuse me?” You asked. “Did you bet for me and my feelings?”
“Yep.” She smiled. “I gave you a month to realize, Shoko gave you to the end of the term.” She shrugged and turned around to prepare herself a coffee.
“Was it that obvious? Oh my god.”
“Kinda.”
“Satoru told me he would kiss me sober.”
“So he finally had the balls.” Kyoko whispered but you were able to hear her.
“Shit, I can’t hardly remember anything but I think Satoru also likes me?”
“Oh god!” Kyoko said. “You are completely blind, aren’t you?”
“What?”
“Yeah Satoru likes you too, have you been paying attention to the way he looks at you or how softly he says that nickname you used to hate so much.”
When you realized it, a mix of surprise and embarrassment flooded your senses. The pieces of the puzzle were finally falling into place, revealing a truth you had previously been too blind to see.
"Oh Lord!" You gasped, unable to contain the revelation that had just hit you.
Kyoko turned, concern etched into her features as she looked at you. "What is it?"
"I think...I think I confessed to Satoru while I was sleeping!" You blurted out, the words leaving your lips in a wave of panic and disbelief.
Kyoko's eyes widened in surprise, her expression a mix of amusement and curiosity. "Really? You had one of you sleeping talk episodes?"
You recounted the events of the previous night, from the hazy memories of the club to the intimate moment shared with Satoru in your room. As you spoke, the weight of your confession hung in the air, filling you with a sense of vulnerability like you had never felt before.
Kyoko listened intently, his gaze softening with understanding. "Well, if it's any consolation, maybe it's a sign that your subconscious knows what your heart really desires."
You couldn't help but laugh at her attempt to lighten the mood, though embarrassment still lingered in the back of your mind. "I guess so." You admitted, a slight blush staining your cheeks. “But still, Kyoko, what am I going to do tomorrow when I see him?”
"What do you mean by that?" Kyoko tilted her head. “It's obvious, you confess, you become a couple and then we can go on double dates!” Kyoko celebrated.
You rolled your eyes and shook your head. As Kyoko's excitement bubbled around you, you couldn't help but feel the weight of uncertainty and insecurity pressing down on you and pinning you even harder to the kitchen floor. The idea of taking a step towards a romantic relationship with Satoru filled you with both longing and fear.
In fact, you and Satoru were like opposite poles, two completely opposite worlds that found themselves dancing around a whirlwind of desire and uncertainty. The undeniable attraction between you was evident to those around you.
What would happen if things didn't work out between you? What if taking that step forward ruined the beautiful friendship you had built over those few weeks? It had only been a few weeks but the thought of losing Satoru as a friend, of losing the warmth and comfort that his presence provided, sent a shiver down your spine.
You laughed bitterly at the irony of it all: the idea of being friends with Satoru Gojo seemed impossible not long ago, and yet here you were, cherishing the bond you had forged with him.
The warmth that settled in your chest whenever he was around, the feeling of protection that enveloped you when you were together, those were the things you didn't want to lose. The thought of sacrificing that for the uncertain promise of romance left you torn and conflicted.
You knew that Satoru felt the same as you, his heart beat strongly for you. It shouldn't be that complicated, to take that step forward. But the cloud of uncertainty loomed over your head, threatening to unload at any moment.
“I will talk with Satoru tomorrow.” You made your decision. “And see what happens.” You nodded for yourself.
“Oh baby, I’m so proud of you.” She clapped. “You will see everything will work smoothly.” She smiled.
You really hope it was like that, you really did.
*・゜゚・*:.。..。.:*・'・*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚・*
To say that you had slept little was to say a lot, you had barely slept a wink the whole night. The weight of uncertainty settled heavily on your chest, and each passing hour amplified the questions and doubts that swirled in your mind.
How would you face Satoru today? How would you muster the courage to confront the issue of your feelings, knowing that the outcome was far from certain?
But in the midst of the chaos of your thoughts, a new worry arose, one that sent a shiver of fear through you. What if, to Satoru, you were nothing more than a passing fancy? What if the rumors about his reputation as a "fuckboy" had some truth to them and your feelings for him were nothing more than a fleeting whim?
You had dismissed the rumors as baseless gossip, believing in the sincerity and depth of the connection you shared with Satoru.
What if you had fallen in love with someone who saw you as nothing more than a conquest? That thought was like a dagger into your soul, piercing the fragile hope that had sustained you through the long night.
As you leaned your head against the classroom window, frustration and anticipation gnawing at your nerves, the arrival of your classmates brought a momentary distraction.
“Hey guys! Professor Tanaka has just posted the results on the app!” The mention of the exam results brought you back to reality.
You almost forgot about the exam you had due to the emotions surrounding everything that happened during the weekend.
With a feeling of dread, you pulled out your phone and navigated to the app, your heart racing as you searched for your score. And when you saw the mark, 100, your breath caught and a wave of relief washed over you.
"Birdie?"
The sound of Satoru's voice brought you out of your reverie and you looked up to see him standing in front of you, his gaze fixed on you with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat.
"Satoru!" You exclaimed, unable to contain your excitement. "The results are out! I got a 100!"
But as you spoke, Satoru's expression changed, a smile appearing on his lips. "Well, I guess we might have a problem." He said cryptically.
Confusion crossed your features as you tried to make sense of his statement. "What do you mean?" You asked, tilting your head in confusion.
Satoru met your gaze with a playful glint in his eyes. "I also got a 100." He revealed. “I guess our bet ended in a tie, birdie.”
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Friendly neighborhood vigilante. Chapter 24
BatmanxDP crossover. JasonxJazz
Link to Jazz's armor design and ramble about ideas >>HERE<<
[Read on AO3] [Read on FF.net]
Based on this post
First chapter || << Previous chapter || Next chapter >>
---
Bruce sighed. Danny choked.
“You— You guys had bets going on?”
Dick stopped his celebratory dance to have the decency to look ashamed. “I mean… Maybe?”
Danny’s smirk replaced his worried face, and the mischievous little brother was back; wearing a heavy and clearly magical armor from another dimension, but still the same person.
“How much?”
“What?”
“How much was the bet?”
“There were a few,” Dick explained, ignoring Bruce’s tired sigh in the background, “But Stephanie thought Jazz was the King. She bet twenty bucks.”
Danny scoffed, crossing his arms. “I’m offended. I’m worth more than twenty.”
Jazz joined Bruce in the tired sigh department. She even placed her hand on her forehead.
“Wait,” Duke perked up, glancing at Jazz trying so hard to keep it together next to a smirking Jason, “if he’s the Ghost King…”
Jason was the first to catch on. “It means Jazz is—”
“The Crown Princess of the Infinite Realms, yeah!” Danny chuckled and pointed a finger at his sister.
“Don’t you dare!”
“Uh-huh!” He answered, the tip of his finger lighting in more green fire.
“Danny, I swear—!”
She couldn’t finish. Danny shot the fire at her, and immediately the flames spread across her body, revealing armor the same way it did for Danny. On her chest, her comfortable long sleeved blouse was replaced by a crimson red chest piece and dark metallic shoulder armor pieces. Her hands and forearms were covered by more red metal, dented and dull with use, up to her elbows.
On her legs, a pleated skirt made of the same dark gray armor reflected the sunlight when she quickly readjusted her legs to stand up, crimson red boots appearing down her legs from her mid thighs.
As the fire retreated over her face, Jazz was already baring her teeth at her brother.
“Danny!” She growled. “That was unnecessary!”
He chuckled again. “If I have to stand here wearing a stupid outfit then so do you.” He approached her and patted her on the back so hard she grunted and stumbled forwards. “What was the thing? ‘A true warrior shows their armor with pride’?”
She rolled her eyes and moved one hand to pull back some strands of hair that had gotten on her face. Jason followed the movement to the bright red headpiece framing her eyes, and extending into points on the sides of her head. They burned with green flames like Danny’s crown did, as if their transformation were condensed in the pieces of metal.
He also noticed the exposed skin of her arms, how his assessment of her turned out to be true, watching the muscles flex with the small movement — and the scary amount of scars she apparently hid under her clothes. He didn’t miss a big burn scar peeking from under one shoulder piece.
“Man, I wish Steph was here,” Dick took everyone’s attention away from the siblings, “because I was also right on the princess thing.”
“So… This is really nothing to you? Like, it does nothing?” Danny’s wide smile was more amused than it should be. “We are literally interdimensional royalty, here, standing in your fancy mansion,” he did a gesture encompassing the whole room, his sister, and himself, “and nothing?”
Jazz sighed again, the flames on the tips of her headpiece burning a little bit brighter. If one squinted, the vague shape of a circle was starting to form with the fire. Her crown?
“Danny,” Jazz made a gesture towards the not at all surprised Waynes sitting in front of them, “there is something you should know about them.”
“Aha?” He glanced at her, but kept his eyes on the others.
“The Waynes are also heroes. They are—”
“No fucking way.”
“Yep.”
“Jazz,” Danny crossed his arms again, but he was smiling, “you had one job. What was it?”
“To not be noticed by Batman.” She looked away, ashamed.
“And what happened?”
“It was— I was careless. I’m sorry, okay?” She closed her eyes and pinched her nose. “Can we drop it? Please?”
Danny was not going to drop it, but Jason got his attention and made a signal to cut it out. Fortunately, the young King made the decision to listen. The little frown told them it was only temporary.
“Okay.” Nobody missed Jazz’s shoulders immediately relax at the word. “So you guys are the bats and birds, and have known about us for a while—”
“Suspected.” Bruce spoke for the first time since reveals started happening. He cleared his throat. “Jasmine, she— She explained some things, but warned that there were things she couldn’t say due to safety reasons and needed to wait for you.”
Danny raised his eyebrows, looking back between Bruce and his sister. Did he know that there was more story behind those words? No doubt he would ask her more details about how they found out — that’s what he would do — so he wasn’t sure the siblings were going to be this amused and relaxed in their— in his presence anymore.
As much as it pained him, maybe this would be the last time they could get answers.
“She talked about the GIW,” Danny tensed, Jazz pursed her lips, “and warned us about Vlad Masters.”
Like the flip of a switch, any amusement left Danny and he donned a persona they haven’t seen yet: the King. It was subtle, but they were so used to reading body language that they could see the shift happen as clear as day.
“Is that so?” The flames of his crown flared for a second. He glanced at Jazz. “When you said the situation had changed…?”
“The GIW and potentially Vlad are… they know I’m here.” She winced. “They will, when they get here. And Jason—”
“I’ve noticed.”
All eyes went to the mentioned. Danny’s new attitude made his piercing green eyes drill holes on Jason’s skin. If he felt poked and prodded when Jazz watched him, it was nothing next to how he literally felt Danny’s consciousness somehow touch his.
He jumped. “What the fuck was that?”
“Interesting.”
“Don’t ‘interesting’ me! What—”
“Darling,” Jazz sat back down next to him, “it’s okay.”
She took his hand, which helped a lot, but still he glared at Danny as the presence came back. At least now that he expected it he didn’t feel so violated.
“What an interesting case.” He tilted his head. “You sure know how to find them, Jazzy.”
“Please don’t call me that.”
“What do you mean?” Jason tried to keep the conversation on track. “What’s interesting?”
Danny licked his lips and shifted his weight from one foot to another. The armor barely made a sound, even if it was expected from such heavy metal.
“You died.” It wasn’t a question. “And your resurrection was painful. What has been done to you was incomplete, tainted, and has left your ghost development stunted.”
That explained absolutely nothing.
“I gave him one of my vials.” Jazz interrupted before he could complain.
That didn’t please her sibling. “Jazz—”
“I know.” The hand that held Jason’s twitched for a second. “But it was an emergency. Would that affect him?”
Danny pondered the question, one hand on his chin. “Maybe. I don’t know. We should check with the yetis.”
“Thought so.” She glanced at her boyfriend. “Sorry.”
“Don’t say sorry. I told you if there’s no blood, there’s no need to say sorry.”
“As cute as this is, we need to focus on the important part here.” Danny got his sister’s attention. “Situation has changed.”
“Yes.” Jazz took a deep breath. “GIW is coming, Vlad may be as well, and I can’t just—” she rubbed her face, “We need to re-negotiate, re-strategize and move up The Plan.”
“The Plan?” Bruce leaned in, catching on the capital letters.
Danny looked at Jazz. Jazz looked at Jason before looking back at her brother.
“We… Okay. Okay.” She breathed in, breathed out. “We are at war. In the Infinite Realms.” She ignored Danny sitting down beside her and the fire when his armor was gone. “Danny is the King, yes, but he is not the only one who has a claim.”
“Vlad.”
Danny clicked his tongue at the name, but patted Jazz’s shoulder and now her armor disappeared in green flames. “He has been after power ever since he came back to life from his accident.”
“We’ve been fighting Vlad and his supporters, as well as trying to fix the mess left behind by the previous King, ever since Danny took the throne.”
“And this was…?”
The siblings shared a look before Danny answered Bruce: “A week after I graduated.”
He was just a kid.
That being said, Robins started fighting crime way younger than eighteen, Bruce considered. Not the same as becoming the ruler of a whole dimension, though.
“Something you guys need to understand about the previous king, Pariah Dark, is that he was such a tyrant he had to be put into the sarcophagus of Eternal Sleep. Everything has been a mess for millenia.”
Bruce pondered Danny’s words. An interdimensional tyrant they knew nothing about, a war they wouldn’t have learned about if it wasn’t for Jason’s neighbor. He got dizzy for a second.
“But that’s not all.” Bruce nodded along when the siblings did, clearly relieved he was catching on. “The GIW.”
“We have been trying our best. Those documents you found with our parents’ signature,” Danny’s head snapped towards Jazz so fast they confirmed he was not human, or he would have had some real damage, “they were the things we couldn’t stop in time. The research we couldn’t erase in time.” She continued, ignoring Danny’s wild eyes.
Bruce swallowed, trying to get rid of the knot in his throat.
“I have nothing to do with these!”
“Darling, listen to me. Jason, this is not true.”
“This is taken out of context.”
Her voice trembled as she tried to defend herself. How could she even sway him? He now understood there was so much at stake than mad scientists on the rise, but she couldn’t say the whole truth, and by principle he considered a half truth as a lie. Nothing she could have said could have convinced him she wasn’t a criminal he needed to stop.
He was ashamed now. How in his mind it made sense. How he was blinded by Jason’s hypothetical gratitude once he presented the report of Jasmine’s arrest. Maybe he could show him he still cared for him, that he still wished him the best even if it wasn’t with him.
It felt so stupid now. Meaningless. He glanced at his son, relaxed, one of his hands subtly on Jazz’s and tracing circles with his thumb without thinking. Jason, who never seeked physical contact, who didn’t like to be hugged even as a kid.
He would never have that, it would never be that easy for both of them to be comfortable together. He made sure of that.
“I— I understand.” He managed to say. He ignored Duke and Cass’ looks at his choked voice.
“That’s when The Plan comes in.” Danny leaned in. “We need help. With Vlad and the war and how much time it consumes running the show, we decided he had to suck it up and call the Justice League.”
Duke nodded. “Jazz mentioned that Amity Park folks don’t like the League?”
“Oh we hate them. With passion.” He leaned back with a grin stretching from ear to ear, apparently enjoying when Bruce tensed. “They abandoned us when we most needed it. They left a dead teenager in charge of protecting the city.” The grin grew bigger with each accusation. Jazz slapped him on the leg. “But we decided it was worth a shot to confront them and demand that help we were owed.”
Jazz sighed. “What Danny meant to say is, after I was done with my internship at Arkham the next steps were confronting the Justice League and negotiating help with taking down the Guys in White.”
“The Plan.”
She nodded at Duke. “We didn’t know what we would encounter but the situation keeps escalating and our parents… Maddie and Jack have to be stopped.”
Danny looked away, suddenly uncomfortable at the mention of his parents. Were they this bad? How much did Barbara’s research cover? How much were they missing?
“We thought— If it’s okay with you, Bruce — that those negotiations—”
“Of course.” He interrupted her. He straightened his back. “Of course we’ll help. I’m… I’m sorry we weren’t there before.”
Jazz nodded, satisfied. Bruce took it as he said the right thing and he was one step closer to properly apologizing.
“Just like that?” Danny didn’t seem that convinced.
“Yes. I’ll need to write a report and bring it up in an emergency meeting that can be as soon as…” he tried to remember everyone’s schedules, “next Tuesday? Could be earlier but I think the Lanterns were away on some Lantern business and this sounds like something they need to know. And they should be back on Tuesday morning.”
The siblings looked at each other and had another silent conversation with just face gestures and rapid fire microexpressions. After a moment Danny sighed and relaxed, letting his body flop back to the backrest of the couch.
“We’d be very grateful, Bruce. Thank you.” Her smile was genuine.
Bruce glanced at Jason, who was looking at Jazz. As if he knew he was being watched, he turned to look at him. He also was smiling a small smirk as he subtly nodded in approval.
“What a shame,” Danny’s tone was playful, “we had planned for the possibility of fighting the League.”
“Danny.” His sister slapped his shoulder.
“Who would have fought B?”
“Dickward.” Jason gave his brother a warning look.
Both ignored the warning and smiled at each other. “Valerie.” He seemed amused that the other bit the bait and asked. “She’s the best at adapting mid combat, has a hoverboard and a bunch of gadgets that neither of you can ever hack or disable.”
“Why?”
“Is ghost technology. Nothing in it, either the material or the code, is even close to anything you have encountered before. Batman thrives when having enough time to prepare, but believe me we wouldn’t give him enough time to figure out how anything works.”
“We have had access to alien tech before.” Bruce was curious now.
Danny was shaking his head. “Our weapons and technology may look like yours but in essence it isn’t. Since we are friends now I wouldn’t mind lending a few things to study. You know, as a token of my faith.”
Bruce glanced at Jazz. She nodded in confirmation. “Would be honored to.” He finally said.
Did he have to offer pleasantries? Danny was the ruler of a dimension, nonchalant about that fact as he was. Bruce chose not to since they weren’t in their armors anymore.
“And Jazz?” Jason asked Danny.
The mentioned hid her face behind her hands. Danny leaned in to look at Jason from Jazz’s other side. “Green Arrow. And of course, Wonder Woman.”
“I noticed the Amazonian armor.”
“I’m right here.” Jazz growled.
“She’s been trained by Pandora, back at the Greek side of the Realms. All the dead Amazons are over there and some were thrilled to participate in her training; so you could say she’s the closest of us all to her battle style. Also Jazz is the expert for close quarters combat and a wide variety of weapons.” Danny was obviously proud of his sister. And maybe loved embarrassing her too much. “Except guns.”
Dick’s eyebrows went to his hairline. Bruce hid his shock as best as he could, and tried hard not to look at Jason.
“Danny.” Jazz said through gritted teeth. “Stop.”
“What? It's the truth! You are the only one of us that doesn’t fight with ectoguns, but you make up for it really well.” He slapped her back so hard a bone should have cracked.
Jason cleared his throat. “No guns? For any particular reason?”
Duke choked. Would Jazz find Jason’s weapon of choice repulsive? It couldn’t be — she knew about Red Hood, she knew what he had done, how he had done it.
Danny’s smile was as bright as the Sun. “Because she sucks! I’ve never seen such a bad aim.”
“I’ve been getting better!” She groaned, her face crimson red. “I’ve practiced!”
“Oh yeah? I still have scars from the last time you ‘practiced’!” He lifted his shirt, showing his lower back and a very clear healed burn scar in there. “You definitely have dad’s aim!”
“Yeah? And you suck at sword fighting!” Danny flinched. “Do you think I don’t know how many training sessions you’ve missed?”
“Is not that bad…”
“Yes it is, Danny,” she crossed her arms, “since you rely so badly on your powers. What happens if you cannot use them?”
“That will never happen.” He crossed his arms too. “Most powerful being of the Realms here.” Danny shrugged, showing off his perfect rows of pointy white teeth, even in human form.
Jazz snorted and moved as fast as lightning, one hand going for her brother’s stomach to punch him square in the gut. She didn’t hit flesh, because at the last minute Danny’s chest went intangible and her whole arm went through like he was air.
“Ha!” He looked back up to laugh at her — finding her other hand waiting for him.
Jazz flicked his forehead so hard the others flinched at the noise it made, and Danny was sent back to the armrest of the sofa.
“Hey!” He rubbed his forehead. “That wasn’t fair!”
“This is what happens when you don’t pay attention, Danny!” She hissed, gesturing with her hands. “And when you rely way too much on your powers!”
“But—”
“But nothing! I bet since I’ve been gone you’ve skipped every damn sword fighting class. Ancients, I bet I could beat your ass even as rusty as I am now!”
Danny opened his mouth to protest, but no words came out. He knew she was right.
The others watched amused as the young man rubbed his forehead again and glared at his sister.
“Not my fault you are a freak.”
“What did you just say?” Jazz tensed, her body ready to pounce.
Bruce cleared his throat, and like magic, the siblings jumped away from each other and sat straighter. Jazz nervously chuckled and fixed her hair again. Bruce smiled. King, princess and all, they were still around his childrens’ age.
Said children giggled, amused by the familiarity of their chaotic dynamic.
“So,” Dick redirected the conversation, “what’s next?”
Jazz tilted her head, thinking. “With my identity revealed, we need to renegotiate with Lady Gotham.”
Danny clicked his tongue. “She’s not going to like it.”
“Well, she will have to if she wants her people protected.”
“Jazz talked about this Spirit,” Bruce nodded. “So there was an agreement?”
“Yeah,” she answered, “as I said, we were not supposed to get closer to Batman or any of the vigilantes, and she wouldn’t be opposed to the Princess stomping on her haunt.” Her cheeks tinted a slight pink as she glanced at Jason. “Obviously that’s void now, and if I’m going to protect this city I need to be able to use my abilities, so we have to chat with her before strategizing.”
“When do you think you are talking to her?”
“Why? Wanna come?”
Bruce’s silence told her that yes, he very much wanted to. She made a weird face, between amused and concerned. “Is it not allowed?” He asked.
Jazz glanced at Danny, who shrugged and was very unhelpful. “I mean… It’s her beloved Knight. Maybe she won’t try to obliterate us on sight if we use him as a human shield.”
“Hey!”
“Actually, it’s not a bad idea.” Bruce conceded. Apologizing for what he had done could also mean mediating when they talked with the sentient city.
He was also curious.
Hm.
“Okay then we could do it sometime tomorrow? Before I have to go back to the Realms.” Danny stretched his back and yawned.
“Are you leaving so soon?”
Danny stopped mid yawn at his sister’s tone of voice. “Why? Did you miss me?”
She didn’t answer, but Jason’s amused nod where she couldn’t see it made Danny chuckle. Jazz would talk your ear out about reaching out and being in touch with your emotional needs; but she also had a hard time admitting that sometimes she also needed her little brother as well.
“You could stay the week? I have work, but apart from that…”
“And we also have to prepare the report with Batman.” He answered, nodding.
“Bruce is fine.”
Jazz nodded at the older man and smiled back at her brother. “What do you think?”
He made a show like he was pondering staying or not, humming and crossing arms, and making a big sigh like a heavy weight was on his chest.
“I guess I can make the time in my busy kingly schedule.” Danny’s smile showed his true age — not a front, not trying to appear mischievous, not wanting to be strong for appearance’s sake.
Just a little brother and his older sister.
---
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#dpxdc#hardcover ship#jazz x jason#jazz/jason#dp x dc#dc x dp#batpham#friendly neighborhood vigilante#neighbors au
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The Liyue Lotus and the Merchant from Snezhnaya
(Pantalone x Fem! Reader)
MDNI +18
Cw: kidnapping, Stalking, non con elements, Graphic violence (later chapters), Yandere content *will update as the series goes
Cross posted on AO3
Part 1 , Part 2, Chapter 3. Mora Eater (you are here) , Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7~
Synopsis: Unfortunately, The Regerator develops a fixation with you while you are working undercover for Yelan. And there’s no one who can get in his way of his prized Lotus.
-
For a Root, for a Leaf, for a Branch, for a Tree
For Something, Somebody, that reminded them of Me
Running with my Roots pulled up
Caught me cold so they could cut
What there was left of Love
I'm rootless
-
Pantalone
“And then she...?” Pantalone mused while his hands were interlaced on top of his dark oak desk.
“Well, we don’t know…” Galina twiddled her thumbs.
“She went in so quickly, we couldn’t exactly figure out where she went,” Fedor added.
“But! But—she seemed safe; none of those men in treasure hoarder clothing were around her,” Galina interrupted.
Pantalone only nodded before turning in his swivel chair towards the open windows overlooking the harbor.
“But if we may inquire, my Lord, what are we up against?" Fedor questioned
“I’m not terribly sure myself either, but I know whoever it is, they have Lián terrified.”
Pantalone moved his hand under his chin, “I noticed they were watching her ever since we met in the harbor.” His eyes flicked up towards the two before him.
“Whoever they are seem to be skilled in the art of illusion.”
Fedor and Galina nodded, beckoning him to continue.
“That’s why I want you two to accompany us for dinner this evening.”
“If you seek them once again, immediately capture them for questioning,” Pantone casually ordered.
“Using the codeword, right?” Galina asked.
Pantalone merely nodded. A pregnant pause befell the room above the northland bank, tucked away behind a staircase only a select few knew about.
“Where is my precious Lián anyway?” Pantalone asked.
The two guards stood at attention.
“We left her at the spot you requested; she should be waiting for you with the other temporary guards,” Fedor responded, “She also wore the items you sent as well, my lord.”
Pantalone turned back abruptly to where the two guards stood across from his desk.
“Are you telling me the truth now, Fedor?” Pantalone narrowed his eyes.
“Of course, my lord,” Fedor answered in surprise, “you’ll see her in a moment anyway to confirm yourself.”
Pantalone finally stood up slowly from where he sat, looking down at the window behind him. The harbor bustled with life, and colors of the whole spectrum were before him.
Normally, his gaze would flick over towards the shipyard, past the funeral parlor, where your humble apartment was. But you weren’t there currently confirming what Pantone had received from his report.
He then turned his head to face the center of Liyue, towards the restaurant he had made plans to meet you at— Xinyue kiosk.
See, today was a very important day for him.
Receiving a letter earlier that morning, opening it he scowled hard at the contents inside.
He finally met the love of his life after being stuck in Liyue with... well, a certain ginger subordinate for many years, and now he was being forced to return to Sneznhaya for an indefinite time.
“My lord, it’s time to meet Miss Lián." Galina stood at attention next to the desk.
”Ah, yes, I must not keep her waiting.” Pantalone walked around his desk towards the awaiting guards.
He cant keep his precious lotus waiting for too long, for the shadows were already in position around her from the last glance he took at the window.
-
Waiting in the evening heat was unbearable in the fur collar draped around you.
It was starting to make you think maybe it was for the better that your slits were opened like they were before you made your alterations.
Your dress was now stitched from the inside where the slits were previously, making it a shapy type of dress on you instead of how open it was, now a white spider lily graced the closed slits with only your lacy shawl covering your shoulders to allow you to breathe in the humidity the harbor offered around this time.
The new guards that were assigned to you were mostly silent, only occasionally asking if you were fine before you answered with a dismissive wave and a reassured “I'm alright” before they’d continue to look at... Well, seemingly nothing; you were now on top of the rooftop, sitting in the Kiosk, overlooking a little sliver of the harbor and the colorful rooftops of the city. They were seemingly watching the skyline, most likely feeling that you did not want to be here at all.
"Lián,” the familiar voice called to you.
Looking over your shoulder towards the door was your date surrounded by your new bodyguards, who were escorting him to sit across from you. He was dressed as he normally was only with a more relaxed look on his face.
A bouquet of some blue and frost-like flowers was in his hands, from what you could tell.
sitting down across from you on the cherry oak table across from you where a sparkling yellow lantern shone, Galina and Fedor taking their place besides the guards you were stuck with the whole four hours waiting for them to return.
Pantalone quickly grabbed your wrist before letting his lips caress the top of your hand, giving it a soft peck.
Ew
Resisting the pullback, you let his lips linger on your outstretched hand before letting you take your hand back.
"My lotus, hopefully you enjoy these flowers," he held them towards you.
"I had you in mind when I picked them out for tonight." His lips curled into a smile when you extended your arm to hold said flowers.
"They certainly are.. something " You received them, smelling the sharp, frosted blooms.
gesturing for your guards, you handed them off for them to hold before receding into the side of your peripheral.
”Im surprised you actually wore your gift I bought you,” his gaze giving you his full attention as he absorbed your image before him.
”I am too—I had to alter them to my fit as they were almost unwearable with my physique,” you waved your hand over the tight fabric hanging on your chest.
”Forgive me, I only picked what looked like it would fit you; Snezhnaya clothing is different from the sizes here in Liyue, I'm afraid." He then grabbed your resting hand, holding it in his much bigger ones.
smiling to hide the uncomfortable handhold, you would roll your eyes, being able to see the true motive behind his "gift.”
Maybe if you cut to the chase, you could end this one-sided relationship you found yourself in.
Besides, he probably had many younger women than yourself all over Teyvat throwing themselves onto the richest man in all of Sneznhaya.
Before you could make a retort, though, you caught a couple of different fatui caterers coming up the kiosk stairs with different plates of foods you’d only seen when Ningguang would celebrate an achievement in the floating palace, their footsteps muted on the wooden planks on the ground..
Pantalone’s fierce amethyst eyes never left your face even after you moved your hands from the table in order for the servers to leave the different types of foods of varying food groups in front of you. The smell was amazing, especially when the golden shrimp balls that were coated in a thick honey-coated batter were laid before you.
Your stomach was lightly rumbling, and you tried your best to ignore it. You weren't about to kill yourself over possible poisoned golden shrimp balls; it was best to find an excuse not to eat, you thought.
”Please enjoy your meal, my lord, and—“
Mistress
You smiled, thanking the guard out of habit, before you realized what they had truly done.
”Eat, my fragile lotus." Pantalone gestured to the bamboo shoot soup and the large plate of golden crab in front of you. “It’s all being funded by me,” he said happily, reaching over to the large pot of tea and grabbing a cup to serve into.
Watching him pour the tea into the jade-glazed cup, you eyed the table. Most of the food seemed fresh and steaming hot, but you knew better, remembering a colleague who lost their life to drinking a tea that was slowly making them sicker and sicker as his days went on, only to find out the deal had gone wrong.
You watched him grab the plate and serve himself almost every single thing from the table, serving it on what reminded you of a sampler platter. You didn't know he had such an appetite until suddenly the plate he had been serving was placed in front of you.
“Here is your plate, Lián," He carefully grabbed the silverware in front of you, grabbing for the knife. You almost jumped in reflex until you heard the sound of him cutting different cuts of meat and seafood with his dark gloved hands.
“I apologize once more, my dearest; my mind is all over the place currently; I almost forgot my manners towards my beloved,” he chuckled, finishing cutting your food before leaving you your utensils to eat with.
”Oh, that's quite alright; I’ve just never had anyone go out of their way to serve me nor think about me as much as you do,” you tried to flatter, “Hopefully you serve yourself as well; I wouldn't want you to go hungry.”
“Ah, don't worry about that, darling; I will get my fill as well.” Grabbing the plate beside him, he began to serve himself. Watching him, you noticed him grab for the same selection of food he had served onto your plates, the portions much smaller than what you received on your plate, but nonetheless, the same foods he served you, even serving himself the warm oolong tea in his cup.
“My lord,” Galina suddenly spoke up from besides the doorway near the entryway.
”I must ask where the purple scarf is,” she asked.
Pantalone gently set the teapot down before flicking his gaze towards the Fatui Mage.
”Please bring it to me at once, Galina and Fedor; this tea would not be suitable without it.” He mindlessly pointed to the teapot.
Just as quickly as they announced their prescene, they disappeared in a mass of elemental energy.
You didn't say anything, focusing on the food you’d been served.
“So pardon me if this seems...” You trailed off, poking your shrimp in front of you.
“Blunt– but what’s the occasion?” you asked, looking back at pantalone across from you.
His smile spread to the ends of his mouth as he focused his amethyst hues towards you.
“Oh, you're a very savvy lotus, aren't you?” he chuckled, clasping his gloves together. “I will also give you a blunt answer,” he exhaled.
“I must return back to Sneznhaya for an important meeting regarding one of our subordinates.”
“I won't be back for a month at most.”
You could tell he wanted to say more, but he seemed to pause.
"Lián, have you touched your food yet?”
“You haven't touched anything on your plate yet, dearest.”
You smiled, an awkward smile, to pantalone.
“I haven't,” you said, clearing your throat, “But!” you scrambled.
“You haven't eaten either- pantalone” you pointed a manicured nail towards the plate in front of him.
A slight pause was earned from him; leaving an awkward pause in the air as you waited for an answer.
"Oh, I see how it is,” he chuckled, putting a hand to his chest.
“You know I wouldn't serve you anything that hasn't been checked before being served to the table.”
You eyed the table once more, looking over the vast arrays of food youd taken a quick scan of earlier.
“You know, Lián, it seems like...”
“You're hiding from something,” he pondered.
Straightening your posture at the mention.
Time to test your acting skills
“Now I have to be cautious, you know?” You leaned back in your chair with your eyes closed.
“I am associating with a harbinger after all; you probably make enemies every day,” you shrugged.
“Anyone would be silly to try and harm the fatui and any affiliates of the mighty tsaritsa.”
Finally, you watched him lift a dumpling to his mouth gracefully.
“You are safe under my supervision,” he finally plopped the dumpling in his mouth.
You scooped some of the rice on your plate; it did seem to be of a normal texture after all.
And then the aroma of the golden crab hit you.
It did smell divine…
Looking towards Pantalone, who was now beginning to moderately eat his serving of food, you decided to accept your fate.
Better eat and find out now if he trusted you than later.
Bitterly, you stuck the piece of golden, flaky crab into your mouth with a few scoops of rice.
It was really delicious.
Death be dammed, at least your final meal would melt in your mouth, being made from the finest caught crab in all of Teyvat.
“You know, Lián, you wouldn't have to be so weary if you remembered my offer I made the last time we met,” he smiled, holding his hands together on the fine china before him.
“Is there a deadline or something? This is the fifth time you’ve mentioned it.”
“Or do you miss me that much when we part ways?” you flirted.
“I may be weak, but I do grow lonely without you." Pantalone finger’s weaved into yours.
“It’s why I want to know if you’ll come with me tonight,” he smiled.
“Just one night, and by the time I come back, I want to know your answer.”
The pressure was weighing on your shoulders once more; it was a whole month until you’d see him again, most likely taking your new annoyances with him.
But it just seemed too convenient that he’d be dumb enough to willingly bring you back to his private quarters.
It felt like the more you tried to logic yourself into it, the more you’d come to the same conclusion.
“Of course I will,” you replied, “only if this means I’ll be your only woman.” You chuckled to yourself.
As soon as you uttered those words, however, Pantalone wasted no time enveloping you, the taste of a fine sake and the food you both had been picking at was all his lips tasted like.
His hands were on either side of your face as he kissed you passionately.
-
You swore Pantalone had taken you to a maximum-security prison when you both arrived into the hills of Mt. Aocang In the mountains, there was a hollow opening; the dark interior of the three-story tower he lived in was built into the mountain.
No wonder you and Yelan could never find him; he wasn’t at all near the harbor but almost on the border out of Liyue.
He didn’t let you walk up the stairs, only having you close to his chest as he walked you up the dark obsidian steps leading to the top floor.
The silence in the estate was just as uncanny as the numerous golden statues around the different corners of the spiraling staircase lined with cavern flora.
Pantalone hands were gently massaging you as you began to finally reach the landing at the top of the spiraled staircase.
Then it was just his spacious bedroom, with scrolls and so many dressers and chests lining the border of the room; the canopy bed in a dark tulle curtain of deep sapphire and violet was what caught your eye.
and is currently where he was about to lay you down.
He stopped at the edge of the bed before craning his neck to kiss you, carefully laying you in the middle of the bed. He wasted no time in ravishing you.
His hands roamed under your expensive dress, hungrily grabbing at the flesh that wasn’t covered by the lingerie he bought you.
Moaning as he began to massage your breast, he began to work his other hand under your dress skirt.
Letting yourself go as he pampered your body, you forgot who he was for a moment.
His loving touches, the care he had as he carefully slipped your dress off of your body.
You hated to admit it, but you were beginning to enjoy his attention.
#pantalone x reader#yandere pantalone#yandere genshin x reader#reader insert#yandere genshin impact#yandere x you#yandere x reader#genshin x reader
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Hungry Heart ch. 1 | (Mullet) Stanley Pines x Reader
(Sorry, should have posted it this way the first time. First time posting fanfiction to tumblr).
Summary: Stan needs to go to Oregon. You need to get to California. Stan has a car. You have a cunt. (Can I make it any more obvious~)
Tags: 80s Americana Roadtrip Partners-in-Crime Stan x Reader fic. Smut. You can fix him, but you're worse.
TW: Alcohol Use
Preview:
His voice gets surprisingly soft. “Can I take you home?”
“You kiddin’ me?” You spit out the ruined lime slice. ”I thought you were a bum. What home you gonna take me to? Lovely spot under a bridge?"
“I got a motel room.” He adds defensively. “It’s somethin’.”
Read on AO3.
Your arms stick to the bar top. It’s sticky enough on its own. It smells like fruit cocktail and jaeger and all the other sickly sweet mixings that bar tops get coated in, with a lovely note of pissy beer over it all.
But it’s sweltering, even with the door kicked out and the flies starting to buzz inside. There’s a sheen of sweat over all your bare skin, sticking your thighs uncomfortably to your wooden stool. Your jean shorts are too short, and the high waist is digging into your ribs.
You hate Dallas.
Stupid bartender cut you off two songs ago.
You hate this stupid bar, too.
You weren’t drunk. Not really. Just buzzed enough to tell him to shove a broken bottle up his ass when he snapped your bra strap from across the bar.
But he let you sit at the bar anyways. He was sweet like that. You feel pitiable, alone like this. Maybe he can tell. Maybe he hopes that if he lets you stay and no one else picks up the slack, you’ll let him take you home.
You’re not drunk enough for that. And you can afford to be choosey. Daddy always said you were a pretty girl. He told you to kill yourself before you weren't, but that was besides the point.
You look at the stained mirror backing the bar. Dark circles under your eyes. Your hair is a mess. Your eyeliner is from three days ago, a dark stain under your bottom eyelashes. You're young, but you don't want to guess how much longer you'll have left by dear old dad's measure. Not the way you're living.
You're not drunk, you're just reminiscing.
“Got a wife and kids in Baltimore jack—“
You snap over to the juke box, playing the same fucking song again for the fifth time. Some mulleted asshole with sweat and beer stains over his white t-shirt croons along poorly, drunkenly leaning against the wall beside it.
“I go for a drive and never come back—“
“Not a-fucking-gain.” You groan, head in your hands.
“What? Who’s got a problem with Springsteen?” He barks. The mellow rock continues without him.
You don’t turn. You’re not drunk, just a little on edge from the heat. You slide off your stool painfully and stumble. And okay, you’re drunker than you realize.
You point an accusing finger at the blurry man who stomps toward you.
“If I wanted to hear someone butcher Bruce Springsteen songs, I’d toss quarters at the poor bastard with the chipped cup outside. At least he knows the god damn lyrics—“
You blink as he comes into focus.
Dammit.
He was cute, in a bring-me-home-and-disappoint-your-parents kind of way. Or if Kurt Russel had like, a really bad year. Square jaw. Scruffy chin. Bulbous nose, broken at least a few times. Baby beer gut. Big, broad shoulders. Narrow hips. God. Was he wearing fucking football gear or something?
His lips stay parted like the mouth-breather he is. He looks you over too. Your loose tank top has a fallen strap, the hem hangs low over your chest. With your arms crossed, your tits look better than they are. His eyes fall to the bit of lace on your bra peeking out. It’s fine. That’s what it’s there for.
You swallow thickly, feeling sweat crawl down your neck.
“You played the same song five times in a row. Don’t you know the fuckin’ lyrics by now?” You mutter quietly, just enough to make him lean in and listen.
You feel his hot breath against your ear, trying to talk over the music. It smells like tequila and cheap cigarettes.
“You wanna teach it to me, Sweetheart?”
You huff with amusement. A jersey dirtbag just like you, so far from home? What are the odds.
He stands over you.
You imagine your thighs around his big dopey ears for a second, but the idea of his stubble tearing up your already irritated inner thighs feels unappetizing.
“Nah. Learn it yourself.” You turn. His meaty hand grabs your arm.
“Can I buy you a drink?”
“I don’t know.” You tilt your head. “Can you?” It’s a genuine question. You both glance at the bartender who curls his lip.
“Hermano! One for the lady, por favor!”
Surprisingly, the bartender nods. You both cling to the bar, like the railing of a ship tipping over.
“He’s Italian.” You mutter under your breath, watching the bartender mix you another vodka-soda.
“Huh?” He leans his elbow on the bar beside you, his other hand coming around your other side. He’s like a furnace. You are sweating out his beer through osmosis.
You nod to the flag hung behind the bartender and fan yourself with a damp coaster.
“It’s an Italian flag. The Mexican one has an eagle.”
“I know. I did time in Mexico.” He says it like he’s proud. Like you should care. Stupid cute smug grin.
“Small world!” You turn towards him.
“Gettin’ smaller.” He looks amused and he coils a strand of your hair around his finger, now leaning his arm on your shoulder. “You serious? You got locked up there?”
“No.” You say, deadpanned. He laughs. You feel it, tucked against his chest.
“You’re funny.”
“And you’re just an asshole.” You say as you sip your drink, faster than you should.
He shrugs one shoulder dismissively. “So, you from Jersey?” He asks, knocking back a shot of tequila with only a grimace. “You sound like my Ma.”
“Born and raised. You?”
“Born and raised. Small world. Why’d you ever leave Jersey?”
“To leave Jersey. ”
He sucks his teeth. “Ain’t you got a family or somethin’?”
“What, are you gonna kidnap me?” He laughs again. His laugh is stupid, loud, makes you wanna laugh with him. Maybe just at him. You shrug. “Followin’ my old man out west.”
“New family?”
“New everything.”
“Lucky guy. It’s harder than it sounds, starting a new life.” He sighs bitterly, nodding as the bartender refills his shooter. “Some fuckers have all the luck.”
You hold your glass out to him. You long since drained it of alcohol, but the ice remains. You suck on one melting cube in your cheek and crunch it between your teeth. “To the unlucky bastards, then.”
He tuts his tongue and takes the empty glass from your hand, replacing it with another shooter.
“That’s better. To the unlucky bastards.”
You hate tequila.
But you love free liquor.
“Salud.” You wince as it burns down your throat, shutting your eyes tightly for a moment before you open to see him watch you with his elbow on the bar top.
“Love seein’ a beautiful chick knockin’ back tequila like a champ.” He smirks.
“Love it from a distance. You’re in the splash zone.” You groan, setting back down the glass and snagging a lime from behind the bar to suck against your teeth.
“I don’t scare easy.”
You narrow your eyes. “You want me to yak on you?”
“If you would do me the honors.” He doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t lose his easy smile.
You smirk briefly. “Freak.”
“I get that a lot.” The smile loosens. Just a bit. He swallows and you watch his adam’s apple bob. His voice gets surprisingly soft.
“Can I take you home?”
“You kiddin’ me?” You spit out the ruined lime slice. ”I thought you were a bum. What home you gonna take me to? Lovely spot under a bridge?"
“I got a motel room.” He adds defensively. “It’s somethin’.”
“Livin’ large.” You draw out the vowels condescendingly. As if you’re any better. “You ain’t worried I’ll rob you blind in the night, big shot?”
“Don’t got much. And if you can sneak it past me, I figure you deserve it.”
You look over him again.
You consider it, you really do. He could have been worse. You’ve had worse. Half the nights you spent on your way west were spent banging for room and board. Or at least picking guys drunk and rich enough to pay for the taxi home and pass out before they remembered to touch you.
You should be dead. A dozen times, you wished you were. Easily, you could have been. And no one would go looking for you.
You have a feeling he understands what that’s like. Poor bastard.
But tonight, you paid for a room. And for the love of God, clean(ish) beds to yourself were in short supply. The T.V. in your room was busted and the liquor store was closed. You came here for the lovely conversation.
“Sorry. Not tonight, buddy.” You avert your eyes. “But thanks for the drinks.”
He frowns and nods, not happy with the rejection clearly but respectful enough to accept it anyways.
“Well, I’m in town a couple more days. If you need somethin’, give me a call, okay sweetheart?”
He fishes out a business card from his front jean pocket. It’s wrinkled and damp with sweat.
The Loveshack the card says.
You pick up the card and turn it on both sides.
“Cute.”
“I’m in room eight.” He eyes the card nervously. “Or ask for Lee.”
“Lee.” You repeat. “Thanks, Lee.” You hold your hand out to shake and give him a fake name. He holds your hand and your eyes.
“I mean it. Give me a call.” He pleads.
You huff with mirth, sticking the card in your pocket. You haven’t heard a boy beg for a call like that since highschool.
“Alright, alright.” You slide off your barstool again, slightly more graceful than the first time.
“Goodnight, Lee.”
“Goodnight, sweetheart. Don’t let the bed bugs bite.”
“Stupid.” You smirk at eachother as you step back towards the exit. You know he’s waiting for you to turn so he can stare at your ass.
Bruce Springsteen croons you out as you leave the bar. You hear Lee belting along.
“Everybody’s got a hungry heart. Everybody’s got a hungry heart.”
#stan pines x reader#stanley x reader#stanley pines x reader#mullet stan#gravity falls fanfiction#80s stan#roadtrip fic#Americana#stanley pines#stan pines#Grunkle Stan#my writing
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Hothead
Jule gets injured, and Lena tries to deal with her worry on top of the fact that she's still trying to keep it a secret that she's hopelessly in love with her best friend.
Luckily for her? Someone happens to feel the exact same way.
(a/n: Someone asked me MONTHS ago to write this...and well I'm like 6 months late but better late than never I suppose! Also I started writing this when Feli was still at Wolfsburg so she's still at Wolfsburg for the sake of I was too lazy to change what I had already written, take it or leave it.
I love getting to write Obi...so much. Like SO much! So much that I actually didn't edit this at all I just scrolled over it really fast and said MEH it's probably good to post (so sorry if there are mistakes). Also this is cross posted from ao3 because I'm pretty sure the request was sent on here, if I remember correctly. But anywho, enjoy!)
It was a dirty foul.
It was a really dirty foul, in fact, and pretty much all of the Wolfsburg girls are ready to throw hands when they see what has occurred.
Jule had been taking the ball up the right side of the pitch after Obi had sent her a lovely little long ball, when the Werder Bremen defender had gone right for her ankle instead of the ball. It was a crunching tackle, a dangerous and thoughtless one from the Werder player, and it sent the blonde winger tumbling to the ground with a cry of pain.
It was late in the game, they were up by one goal anyways, but as soon as Jule was hitting the ground, all hell broke loose. The Wolfsburg players were immediately going for the Werder defender who dared to hurt their golden girl, none leading the charge more than Lena.
The brunette was halfway across the field from Jule when she went down, but suddenly Lena was right next to Jule as she pressed her face into the grass, her ankle ringing with pain.
“Jule? Are you okay, should I get the medic?” Lena asks softly, her face close to Jule’s. The blonde can smell the patchouli and ylang-ylang of her perfume, and the way that Obi tugs her kit down from where it had ridden up before she placed her hand gently on the wingers back.
Jule hated the medic. She hated going down, didn’t want to hog attention away from the others, stop play, or force a substitution to be made unless it was absolutely necessary.
But the pain in her ankle isn’t subsiding in the way it should be, and she knows that she won’t be able to walk it off like she normally should. The blonde screwed her eyes shut in frustration as she nodded, moving to turn over on her side and eventually back as Lena began to flag down the team medic.
Which of course, happened to be the exact same time that the Werder defender decided to open her mouth, her words callous and unkind.
“Oh Jesus, why is she being such a baby? She’s fine, I hardly touched her,” the defender scoffed, and here’s the thing.
Lena knew that she had a reputation for how easily she found herself in the middle of a fight. It was a fair one, she knew that. The midfielder was the one most likely in her team to be found arguing with the referee, or to get into some sort of a brawl with another player, or something of the sort.
But her hot headedness in general paled in comparison to any sort of reaction that she had when it involved her blonde teammate.
It was a known fact at Wolfsburg that Lena and Jule just had an inexplicably close relationship. Ever since the winger had joined the German side, her and the midfielder had been completely inseparable.
For the older women in the team, the writing is on the wall, clear as day. But Jule is rather oblivious to the fact that her best friend is hopelessly in love with her. She would never imagine that Lena would actually reciprocate what she told herself was a silly little crush.
But it wasn’t just that, for either side.
Jule was gentle, maybe not always on the pitch but she was known for being incredibly sweet. Lena wasn’t exactly known for her saccharine like personality, but her and Jule just always seemed to work together. The midfielder was fiercely protective of the younger girl, whether that be batting away creepy men at clubs or making sure that she had eaten that day. It was the fact that they were complete opposites that seemed to make them work so well together, totally balancing one another out. Jule had this uncanny ability to calm Lena down, no matter what was occurring, whether it be in a game or when they are getting too competitive playing a board game with teammates. And in kind, Lena makes sure that Jule isn’t stepped on or bothered by anyone around her.
So for someone to say something like, something that is so blatantly rude and careless, all of the Wolfsburg girls were immediately turning to Lena, knowing what was about to happen.
“Oh you absolute BITCH–” Lena started as she turned toward the woman in a second, and she would have slammed right into her if it wasn’t for Feli, who wrapped her arms around the brunette at the last second and pulled her away.
“Not helping right now Miss Hothead,” Feli grunted out as she hauled Lena back with everything in her, the midfielder still practically snarling at the woman as she strained against her teammate heavily.
“Lena?”
The brunette turns on a dime at the sound of her name being called softly by the winger, and Feli nearly falls over at how quickly the midfielder moves away from her, completely abandoning her course of action in favor of turning toward Jule. It wasn’t very often that Jule used her real name as opposed to calling her Obi like the other girls, but when she did, the brown eyed girl knew to pay attention.
The blonde didn’t actually need the midfielder, but she knew that Lena was on the cusp of a yellow card, and the last thing she wanted to do was turn this into a card party, especially not when Lena had managed to make it through nearly the whole game without one.
“Are you alright?” Lena asked as she knelt down next to the winger, the anger wiped from her face in favor of a kinder, softer expression, the kind that was only reserved for Jule, and Jule alone.
Her eyebrows were knit together lightly, her head tilted to the side in worry as she looked down at her teammate, who shook her head slightly.
“It's a bad sprain or a possibly fracture,” Jule explained, parroting what the medic had told her as he nodded along. Lena hated the fact that she could tell Jule was trying not to cry, and it made her equal parts sad and murderously mad at the defender for causing the blonde to hurt this much.
“Help me up?” the blonde asked, breaking Lena out of her train of thought as she nodded. But the German midfielder was more than a little panicked, staring down at Jule who was looking at her with big, misty eyes, and clutching at her ankle.
The brunette hardly even thought about it, she simply acted. She didn’t think about the setting or the consequence, but rather on what was right in front of her.
The older girl reached down, hooking her arms around Jule’s back and under her knee, and lifting her into the air with a slightly scary lack of effort. Suddenly the blonde’s face was right in front of her own, and Obi could stare directly into the wingers eyes.
(Behind them stood Ewa, Alex, and Feli who, alongside thousands of fans, all but had their jaws on the ground)
But Lena isn’t focused on that, but rather the way Jule is looking at her, her eyebrows pulled together in concern. The wingers face is red, if not from exertion than from this interaction, and the midfielder can see the baby hairs that have loosened from her ponytail and frame her face.
“Obi?” Jule asked, her voice very soft, only loud enough for the brunette to hear.
“Yes?” She replied instantly, her heart jumping into her throat.
Sometimes Lena had these…moments with Jule, where she thought maybe it was possible that the other girl felt just as strongly as she did.
“I can walk…I–I need to walk off the pitch,” Jule said, louder this time, and Lena startled at her words, despite still holding the blonde safely in her arms.
The moment popped like a needle, and the brunette flushed an even deeper shade of red at the realization that she was definitely just kidding herself.
It simply wasn’t possible that Jule felt the same for her as she did.
“Right! Yes, well, here we are,” Lena said quickly very carefully lowering Jule to the ground and waiting for the medic to
Which left their teammates to watch the whole interaction, Alex, Ewa, and Feli still standing in a line as they looked back and forth between the winger and midfielder.
“Did she just–” Alex started, her voice incredulous as she was cut off.
“Yes.” Ewa says, never one to mince words.
“In the middle of a–” Feli tried this time, faltering when the Polish forward answered yet again.
“Yep.” The striker said again, and the three women were stuck standing there in amazement at what had just occurred.
“Hopeless lovesick idiots, the both of them!” Lynn whisper shouted as she walked past the trio from just behind them, her hand cupped over her mouth as though she was trying to be sly, despite the volume of her voice.
But neither Jule nor Lena heard their scheming teammates, both of them too focused on trying to get the winger off the pitch to be paying attention to their teammates. Obi helped Jule to wrap her arms around the shoulders of the medic as she hobbled off the field, Vivien taking her place on the pitch.
Lena doesn’t bother looking toward her coach, she knows that she won’t get a sub out, not this late in the game. But her heart isn’t really in it anymore, it’s back in the medical room where she knows that Jule is, probably getting an x-ray or something of the sort.
Not that it really matters though. Jule’s injury has sucked the energy out of the match as quickly as it had come, and it ends up being a passing game for Wolfsburg for the remaining few minutes of the game.
Meanwhile, Jule had just gotten situated on a bed in the medical room when Svenja had burst in the doors, her eyes searching for and immediately finding the blonde winger. The older woman hadn’t been playing, had only been sitting on the bench when Jule had gone down, and had instantly gone to get permission to go check on the younger German.
It wasn’t news to anyone that Svenja was absolutely the team Mom of the group, now even more so because she was an actual Mom. But she always made it her mission to look out for the younger girls, in whatever way she could.
Like when they got hurt, and she knew that they would likely be stressed and in pain. Jule can’t help the relief that washed over her when the door swung open to reveal Svenja, her eyes watering.
“Hey kid,” the forward soothed gently as she came to stand next to Jule, who swallowed thickly as she did her best to offer a smile, even if it came out as more of a grimace than anything else. It was Svenja who sat with her for the next twenty minutes as they ran more tests, brought in a portable x-ray machine, determining that it was a small fracture in her ankle. It was minor, she would likely be out for the next four weeks and in a boot, but it meant that she wouldn’t have to have surgery, which of course was good news.
The doctors had just given her a boot to wear as well as some crutches, slipping out of the room and leaving Jule to get down from the table, when they first heard it.
At first glance, it sounded like a commotion in the hallways, and Jule thought that maybe it was the girls celebrating the win.
But it only took a second for her to realize that was in fact not the case. It’s Obi’s voice that she hears, high and shrill. The midfielder sounds beyond stressed and panicked, and Jule feels her eyebrows furrow in concern at the noise.
“Where is sh–” Obi cuts herself off when she all but busts open the door to the med room, Feli hot on her heels.
“Jule!” the midfielder exclaims, her eyes widening as she realized that she had found the winger.
“Jesus, did we have to sprint the whole way?” Feli pants, following Obi into the room with sarcasm dripping from her tone. Svenja forces down a chuckle but Lena doesn’t even bother paying her any mind, her eyes wild with concern.
“Are you okay? What did the doctor say? Is everything alright? Do you need–” Lena started, only for Svenja to very quickly cut her off, sensing that the German midfielders' panicked energy was not what this room needed right now.
“Feli, could you help Jule with her boot and crutches while I talk to the lovely Ms. Oberdorf for a second?” Svenja said, a question that wasn’t really a question at all as she drug the brunette out of the room, leaving Feli and Jule both to stare after them, a little bit lost but shrugging all the same.
Svenja closed the door behind them, turning to Obi with a disapproving glint in her eyes.
“Okay, you need to get it together lover girl, because you can’t–” Svenja started, but Obi shook her head, pulling back in clear disagreement, her expression weak.
“Lover girl? I don’t even know what you’re talking abou–” she started, only for Svenja to double it and cut her off again.
“You can save the denial for someone who actually believes you. We all know you love that girl, it’s about as clear as a sky blue sunny day, but perhaps we aren’t ready to have that exact conversation. So for now, I need you to calm the hell down and rein it in. You’re here to help that poor girl relax, not to stress her out with a game of twenty questions. Understand?” Svenja asked bluntly, knowing that sweet talking her way with Obi wasn’t something that was really all that necessary.
The midfielder swallowed thickly before she nodded, her cheeks tinged with pink from embarrassment. But Svenja just pays her no mind, turning back toward the med room, where Feli and Jule were having a conversation of their own.
Obi had to give herself a bit of a pep talk before she went back into the room, and by the time she reenters the med room, Jule is upright with a boot and crutches.
“Lena, I’m going to take Jule home, would you like to come with us?” Svenja prompted, gesturing as subtly as she could toward Jule.
It didn’t matter either way, because her sentence was barely done before the midfielder was responding.
“Yes, absolutely!” Lena chirped out, her voice about two octaves higher than normal. Jule was a little pink in the face from using the crutches, but she still looked up with a quirked brow, entirely unimpressed with how fake her friend's voice sounded.
She chose not to comment on it further, her foot throbbing painfully inside the boot as she made her way slowly out to the car. The winger is so focused on her journey, in fact, that she hardly notices the way that Lena hovers behind her, just on the off chance that Jule stumbles and needs help.
She also entirely misses the several eye rolls from both Feli and Svenja as they walked out to the car, both women equally annoyed by their collective cluelessness.
Not my circus not my monkeys, the defender mouthed to the forward, whose face immediately dropped in indignation.
“Yes it is!” She exclaimed, shooting a dazzling (and decidedly fake) smile at both Obi and Jule when they turned back around, equally confused by the seemingly random words.
But Feli waved them off, a thrilled grin on her face at Svenja’s little outburst. The defender helped get Jule into the forward's car before saying goodnight to her teammates and heading back to her own apartment. Lena followed Svenja’s car in her own, figuring it would be good for them to have possible means of transportation if they needed anything.
It was Svenja who helped Jule instead, getting her set up on the couch and dolling out pain medication before she began to go over the list of what to do with Lena.
She didn’t bother with asking the brunette if she was staying with Jule, she just…always had been. There was no use in denying the inevitable, really.
“Okay, and you call me if you need anything, alright? Even if it’s the middle of the night,” Svenja told Jule, who gave her a small smile and a nod.
“Yes, yes, of course Mom. Thank you for everything today,” the blonde replied softly, and the older woman squeezed her arm affectionately before seeing herself, leaving only the winger and midfielder in Jule’s apartment.
It was hardly the first time that Lena had been here, quite the opposite really. The two of them were practically inseparable, and spent most of their time together, at one of their two apartments.
Obi was so used to Jule’s apartment, the younger girl practically considered her a roommate. The second bedroom had a dresser with her clothes in it and a toothbrush for her in the bathroom, so it wasn’t that big of a stretch honestly.
But for some reason the midfielder can’t seem to sit still today, floating around the apartment doing odds and ends, asking Jule if she needs something every few minutes (seconds, really), and exerting a rather tumultuous energy over the whole place.
After about fifteen minutes, Jule sighs heavily. And right on key, Lena appears by her side, looking down at her with wide eyes.
“What! What is it?” She asks breathlessly, having run in from the kitchen. Jule shakes her head, her expression set with exasperation that masks the hurt she’s beginning to feel.
“Lena, if you do not want to be here you can just go home! I broke my foot, not my entire body, I do not need a babysitter,” Jule huffs out, having mistaken Lena’s nerves for annoyance.
But she’s surprised by the way that the brunette’s face falls, and she instantly settles down on the couch next to her teammates, shaking her head.
“No, no, there is nowhere else I want to be, I promise. I just…I don’t…” Lena trails off, struggling to find the words. Her face is screwed with indecision, and it makes the wingers heart leap into her throat.
“You don’t…what?” Jule prompts lightly, her voice light and barely audible. It sounds rather breathless, and she hates herself for a moment by how much her voice gives her hopes away. She prays Lena won’t pick up on it…or maybe she prays that she will.
Obi looks over at the blonde, her heart thumping in her chest. Jule is looking at her with an entirely unreadable expression, and for just a moment the brunette wonders if it would even be possible for her friend to feel the same way that she does.
She couldn’t explain her attraction to Jule, nor could she articulate how strong it was. It felt like the winger was the sun, and the brunette was simply made to orbit around her.
Everything was better when Jule was there. Her laugh, her smile had this completely contagious property, and it made Obi feel lighter, happier, better.
She made Lena better, just by being herself. She was warm and kind where the midfielder was callous and gruff. She was soft and forgiving, forcing Lena to relax and give herself some grace.
It wasn’t something she could explain, because how on earth are you supposed to describe the one person in the world who means everything to you?
Lena opens her mouth, her feelings on the tip of her tongue. They’ve been sitting there for a now awkwardly long period of time, the silence clinging to them both, hanging in the space between them. Jule is staring back at her, her jaw clenched shut, her teeth clenched with a nervous anxiousness, wondering if this is the moment where everything will change.
But doubt creeps into the brunette’s mind, and the thought of confessing flees her mind as quickly as it comes.
“I just don’t know what to do to help you feel better, that's all,” Lena finally says lamely, and it takes everything in Jule for her expression not to drop in disappointment, swallowing the feeling and offering a smile instead.
“You make me feel better just by being here,” she admitted, and it was the truth, if not the entire truth.
Was it lying, if it was a lie of omission?
Jule isn’t sure. She isn’t sure what she’d rather be: filled with regret because she never said anything, or filled with regret because she had.
“But if you’re just going to sit here with two working feet I wouldn’t say no to a sandwich,” the blonde tacked on at the end, the breath stolen from her lungs at the way Lena’s face lit up, a laugh tumbling from her mouth.
“You got it, coming right up!” She announced as she hopped up from the couch, leaving Jule to her thoughts.
Just as she often did, the German winger spent the next few minutes mulling over the pros and cons list that had only grown as time dragged on.
To tell her best friend that she was in love with her, and risk all of the fall out if she didn’t feel the same? Or never tell her, and simply live with what could have been, if she was a little less scared?
It seemed like an easy choice when she framed it like that, but the actual implications of her actions somehow seemed so much larger.
She’s so lost in thought, that she hardly notices Lena coming back with food for them both, until the midfielder is placing her hand gently on Jule’s thigh. The touch causes the blonde to jump, and Lena retracts her hand just as quickly, as though she’s been burned.
“Sorry, sorry,” the midfielder is quick to say, but Jule shakes her head emphatically.
“No apologies, please. I was just lost in thought…about my foot! About my foot, I was thinking about my foot!” Jule explained, seeming a little too happy to be thinking about her foot when the person on the receiving end of her words doesn’t realize its a coverup.
But really, what was she supposed to do? It wasn’t like she could just tell Lena how she felt, right here and right now.
“Thank you for the food,” the blonde rushes to say instead, and the two fall into gentle chatter as they eat their food. Jule is honestly glad for the distraction, would rather do anything other than talk about her injury right now.
She’s lucky it wasn’t worse, that it wasn’t badly broken, or required surgery, but it still sucked to be injured regardless.
The winger knew that she was lucky to have Lena to sit here and make her laugh, to drop whatever she had been doing to be here. So amidst her confusion over whether to admit her feelings, still her gratitude toward the midfielder balloons in size.
When Jule leaned forward to put her plate on the coffee table, Lena is looking at her closely.
“What else do you need? What can I get you?” The older girl asks, and Jule shakes her head slightly, a soft smile on her face.
“I’m fine Obi, I don’t need anything else. I honestly just kind of want to go to bed,” Jule admitted, and Lena nodded, before looking down with a furrowed brow at the blonde’s boot.
“What?” Jule asks with a tiny chuckle, loving the fact that she could see Lena’s brain work in real time, as if she was working out a very complex math problem and not staring at her teammates foot.
“That thing has to hurt to walk on, doesn’t it?” Obi asked, and Jule shrugged before admitting that while it was a bit painful, it was manageable.
But that seemed to do nothing but displease the midfielder further, and before Jule could hardly say a thing in response, Lena was reaching forward, and just as she had on the football pitch, picking the blonde up.
Only, in this instance it was a tad more appropriate than it had been earlier in the day.
“Oh! Lena, what are you doing?” Jule asked with a laugh, still amazed that the brunette could pick her up with such ease, with so little effort.
The midfielder rolled her eyes, carefully navigating them around the couch and toward the stairs.
“Clearly I’m using the fact that I have two working legs to flex on you! Now, what do we say?” Lena teased, throwing on an overly saccharine and fake tone that is clearly meant to get Jule to laugh. Not that she cares, because it works easily. She tips her head back slightly, content when her teammates catches the change of weight easily.
When she leans back in she’s still giggling, but when she opens her eyes she finds that her face is a lot closer to Lena’s than she had anticipated. The younger girl swallows roughly, blinking several times to try to rid her expression of surprise.
Lena’s brown eyes are staring at her pensively, softly. The sense of gentleness that her gaze held was one that had always just been reserved for Jule, and here it was, just for her.
As brash and argumentative as Obi could be, there was no one in the world who could cause her to soften quite like Jule Brand.
The older girl clears her throat after a second, focusing on continuing up the stairs and into the bedroom.
The next few minutes are filled with getting themselves situated and ready for bed, teeth brushes and sink showers attempted because the thought of having to stand on one leg to shower sounded like hell on earth.
But there was Lena, always there to hold her up and make her smile, even when she was just doing mundane tasks like brushing her teeth.
They switch her boot out for an ankle brace, to give her some support without being too restrictive. Lena shoves a pillow down at the end of the bed gracelessly, before gently propping up Jule’s foot with great care. The two acts are entirely juxtaposing of one another, and they make the blonde giggle as she settles into her bed, the flush that coats Obi’s cheeks as a result not lost on her.
“Will you stay with me?” Jule looked up at Lena, her face filled with uncharacteristic worry. It was hardly a question she needed to ask, and the answer from her teammate is both immediate and automatic.
“Of course,” she replied, moving to turn the light off and climb into bed next to her best friend.
But it’s only after the lights are turned off, and the comfort of darkness has descended on them both, that they are able to finally admit what’s been on the tip of their tongues for weeks now.
The fact that’s probably both surprising to the two of them is that it’s Jule, and not Lena, who says something first, her boldness coming out of nowhere even if it didn’t last for more than a single word.
Lena was laying on her back, staring up at the ceiling from her spot on the left side of the bed. Jule laid on the right side, turned on her left side so that she was facing her teammate, which was how she usually slept when there wasn’t anyone in her bed anyways.
The winger can just barely make out the brunette’s profile, the bridge of her nose and the sharp edges of her jaw, her chest rising and falling shallowly, heartbeat quickened by whom she was in proximity of.
“Lena?” Jule asked, her voice quiet. It was rare for her to say the midfielders actual name, and Lena’s heart skips a beat at the question.
“Yes Jule?” She responds, her voice equally soft.
“I–” Jule opens her mouth to say more, and finds that she isn’t sure what to say.
It’s an uncomfortable reality, to realize that you care so greatly for another person in life that you find yourself unable to fully elucidate your feelings.
But before she can even try again, Obi is cutting her thought process off softly.
“Can I be honest with you about something?” The brunette asks, struggling to keep her throat open enough to explain how she’s feeling.
“Yes,” the blonde replies instantly, her words filled with relief and hope, and it’s her tone and that alone that spurs Lena on, that allows her to say what she’s been feeling for months.
“When we were downstairs and we were talking before and I paused I…I wasn’t brave enough to say it but I can now,” she began, taking a very slow breath before continuing. “I think I love you, Jule.”
“You think?” The winger asked, her voice small but neutral in its tone. Lena swallows roughly at the sound, wondering if she’s made a big mistake.
But it’s too late now to think about that, so instead she forges ahead.
“No, not I think. I know I love you, and I have for months now. Maybe ever since I met you,” Lena admits, finally turning her head to look at Jule. The blonde is sitting in bed on her side, facing the older girl.
When the brunette turned toward her, the winger reached out with her hand, running her fingers gently over the midfielders cheek until she was cradling her jaw.
“I love you too,” Jule whispered into the space next to them, and she can feel rather than see the tear that slips down Lena’s cheek, the wetness seeping into her palm. The midfielder turns her head, pressing an impossibly soft kiss to the inside of Jule’s wrist.
The brunette moves with such gentleness and care, it physically feels as though the blonde’s heart will burst from how in love with Lena Oberdorf she is.
Obi moves lightly, but with purpose nonetheless, as she gathers Jules into her arms and finally, their two bodies are pressed together softly.
The winger tucks her body into Lena’s, not caring that her foot protests at the movement as she’s engulfed in Lena’s scent and the warmth of her body. Jule tucks her head into the midfielders neck, clutching to the brunette as Lena’s hands bring her close, keeping her safe.
The sigh of relief that they both let out happens at the same time, as the comfort of finally being pressed together is realized. Jule cuddles into Lena, feeling sleep pull at her, the worry of her feelings not being returned now swept away like a leaf in a strong current.
“I love you,” Jule murmured into Lena’s neck, the soft puff of air tickling the brunette’s skin in the best possible way. She smiled softly, tightening her grip imperceptibly.
“I love you more,” Lena promises, pressing a kiss to Jule’s temple as they melt into one another, sleep coming to claim them both in the darkness of the blonde’s bedroom.
There is still so much to talk about and discuss properly, sure, but for the night nothing else matters, except the fact that neither of them can really tell where the one ends, and the other one begins.
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ᴡᴀʟᴋ ᴏɴ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ ᴏʀ ᴅʀᴏᴡɴ ɪɪ — ᴄᴀʟʟᴜᴍ ᴛᴜʀɴᴇʀ
callum turner x reader
One of Callum's group members pulls a stunt that puts their life at risk, and you must calm Callum down.
✣ warnings: allergic reaction, smoking, mentions and use of needle
✣ word count: 0.6k
✣ author’s note: here's another part of the camp counselor au! it's a little short but I think I'll be writing more short fics for this au.
masterlist | divider credit: @cafekitsune
this fic has been cross posted to ao3.
ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ʀᴇᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀs ᴏɴ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ, ᴀᴏ3, ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ, ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴇʙsɪᴛᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ɪɴ ᴀɪ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀs ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀʀᴛɪғɪᴄɪᴀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʟʟɪɢᴇɴᴄᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ᴛᴏ sᴇʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴏɴ.
Boys will be boys. This means tween boys will dare each other to do things, even if it’s dangerous. A peanut allergy isn’t exempt from dares, unfortunately. Callum learns this quickly and harshly when one of the boys in his group consumes a peanut butter cup despite his life-threatening allergy to peanuts. He was dared by another boy in the group named Dallon to eat it, and Cole, who was the one allergic, wasn’t going to pass up a dare from Dallon. Cole didn’t want to be a wimp, so he ate it. Immediately, his throat begins to feel funny, and his tongue sits heavy in his mouth. Dallon starts to panic when Cole’s face turns red due to a lack of oxygen. Dallon bolts to where Callum is standing and talking to you in the mess hall.
“Uhh, Mister Callum?” Dallon wrings his hands nervously.
“Yes, Dallon?” Callum kneels down in front of the kid.
“Cole needs help.”
Callum looks over to where some kids are starting to gather around Cole, who is now struggling to breathe. Panic surges through Callum, and the both of you hurry over to the boy.
“Are you okay? What happened?” Callum asks Cole, and the boy weakly points to the candy wrapper.
“He’s allergic,” you say, eyes widening in realization, “Do you have an EpiPen?”
Cole nods, pointing to his backpack on the floor. Callum is rubbing Cole’s back to keep him as calm as possible, trying to keep himself calm as well. You rummage through the bag and find the pen. Luckily, knowing first aid was required to be a counselor, so you know how to use an EpiPen.
“Okay, Cole. You’re gonna feel a pinch in your leg,” you warn, uncapping the EpiPen and then injecting the needle into the boy’s thigh.
“Cal, go get the head counselor. Cole’s gonna have to go to the hospital, I’m afraid,” you grimace, “He could still go into shock.”
Callum nods and jogs out of the mess hall to call the head counselor over the walkie-talkie. He’s an absolute wreck. Watching a kid struggling to breathe was not on his to-do list today. Especially one of the boys in his group, for whom he is responsible. Callum wipes his sweaty forehead as you join him outside as the head counselor arrives and escorts Cole to the nursing cabin. Just as you are about to say something, Dallon walks up to you and Callum.
“It’s my fault, I dared him to eat it,” he frowns, “I didn’t think allergies were that serious.”
“It’s alright, Dallon,” Callum sighs, “But now you know what happens with allergies and not to do it again, right?”
“Right,” Dallon nods, “Am I in trouble, Mister Callum?”
“I think something like this is up to the head counselor, bud. But I don’t think you’ll go home just yet if it was an accident.”
The kids are given an extended lunch and are granted permission to go and play in the field by the lake until the head counselor figures things out. Cole is alert and breathing fine when paramedics arrive. You and Callum are hiding behind a nearby cabin as Callum sucks down a cigarette.
“He could’ve died,” Callum shakes his head, “And it’s because I wasn’t paying attention.”
“Even if you were, boys are gonna do boy stuff. You should know this,” you nudge him in the side, “When you’re that age, you’ll do anything you’re dared to. Cole may know how bad his reactions get and can tolerate them. Or maybe this was the first time he had a reaction to nuts. Either way, he handled it like a champ, and you were there to comfort him. You did great.”
“If anything, you did all the saving,” Callum snorts, “I would’ve chickened out trying to stab a kid with a needle.”
“Yeah, it’s scary, but at that moment, all that matters is helping the kid.”
“True,” Callum says, putting out his cigarette.
You kiss his cheek, “Let’s go before we get caught, or worse, someone gets hurt again today.”
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